#was so gross like every other character had really well written and developed story arcs and conclusions and hers was just???? deflated???

[whoatemyshoe]

[moosecow]

UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME!

Ten things I wish would just DIE already…

10. Miraculous Ladybug

Before you sharpen your pitchforks! Hear me out! I actually REALLY like this show…but GOD It is the BIGGEST tease I have EVER seen! Marinette and Adrien should have gotten together at the end of the first season, and maybe we could have explored their relationship, given them more depth? Raised the stakes instead of the CONANT. ENDLESS. FILLER. Of absolute nothing that is this show. We all know they’re going to get together, just rip the bandaid and let us move on. I’ve never seen a show jerk its fan base around so much!

9. Avatar the Last Air Bender

Again, I LOVE THIS SHOW, SO, SO MUCH! But I can tell that they’re now turning this into a cash cow. I don’t want to see another avatar show, especially after what they did with Legend of Korra. What made Avatar so special was that, yes there was a lot going on in their world, but it never stopped focusing on the core cast, their development, their relationships, and their reactions to the world they live in. Korra just gave us more and more characters instead of focusing on the ones we had, and it lost me with its overcomplicated plot, and I fear legend of Genji, AND the live action remake (which already has alarm bells going up because it’s live action and when has worked out well?) Can we just…revive an old gem on Nickelodeon? Or make something new and substantial instead of relying on SpongeBob reruns?

8. Dragon Ball

Yes, another show I like! But MAN! How many power-ups can we go through before it gets old! Even ASH finally reached his goal in pokemon! There’s so much content here, and I’m grateful for that! I don’t mind more games and merchandise, but enough of the show! It’s clear that only Goku and Vegeta are the only characters capable of beating the big enemy, and no one cares much for the younger characters taking over. But at this point their not that interesting. ESPECIALLY Goku. He’s just a guy that likes fighting. Vegeta was more interesting with his reformed villain arc, but he is constantly overshadowed by his dumber super-saiyen. It feels like they’ve exhausted all their stories….

7. Velma

I’m gonna barf. Seriously, all people do is complain about this show. Can we just, STOP? Review bombing it, complaining about it, making reaction videos to it, is just…feeding it at this point. If all of us hate so much! So many shows that deserved to be watched and enjoyed were completely ignored and faded away from the public consciousness, but not this one, at least, not yet. I see video and video about it! Ignore it. Let it die like it’s supposed to! And now I will never mention it again, and neither should you!

6. Marvel

It’s not so much as I want this franchise to die…more like…I think we need a break! It’s been like 20 years of non stop Marvel and I feel like we already peaked with the Avengers Endgame. Besides Moon Knight and Wakanda Forever, all I’ve seen is general dislike of all the new stuff coming out. I know that Disney is a big conglomerate and they’re going to milk this thing for all it’s worth…but wouldn’t people enjoy it more if you let it simmer for a bit, let the ideas come back after some rest, and then get back into it?

5. 13 Reasons Why

This show should have stayed a book! Oh. My. God. As someone that struggles with mental illness, watching this get sensationalized and reduced to nothing more then teenage angst for badly written teenage characters is so gross! I don’t have much to say about it. It just makes me so angry! How do people actually like this and continue to watch and recommend it? It’s basically the same as every other “dramatic” teen show out there, but uses suicide as a hook to draw people in, which is so disrespectful! You want a show that is more mature then this and actually handles mental illness well? Watch BoJack Horseman.

4. Grey’s Anatomy

I don’t care about the relationships in this show. I don’t who broke up with who, who died, who couldn’t have a kid, who cheated on who. I cared more, in the first season at least, when they were just young surgeons, and they were dealing with the struggles of that. BUT MAN! This show quickly became a soap opera! I mean what did I expect from an ABC show. Just end it already! If you want a good show about doctor’s that focuses on their personal growth and the difficulties of the job watch House, or better yet, watch Scrubs.

3. Kingdom Hearts

This hurts. This hurts. So. Much. GOD! I love these games…but I REALLY hate the direction they’re going. KH3 was such a red flag! The story was complicated enough with time travel, the whole foretellers things, how we keep adding characters instead of focusing on the core Destiny Islands Trio, how Kairi is basically a plot device where, EVEN IN HER OWN GAME, she has to be rescued by Sora. And now, KH4 is on its way and Nomura is basically turning it into versus 13….I don’t even know anymore. Things were getting real dumb in Dream Drop Distance. I’m just going to pretend thee series ended at KH2, where the emotions were there and the story wasn’t derailed and removed of all the charm it had…Either end it…or do something actually good with it, because at this point, it’s just getting ridiculous. And this is coming from someone that loves this series with every fiber of their being.

2. Stranger Things

Yeah, Netflix will cancel actually interesting things like Inside Job, Dead End National Park, I’m not okay with this, Sense 8, and introduce stupid ideas such as removing password sharing (EVEN AFTER RAISING THE PRICE BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE PASSWORD SHARING) but they will keep things like Cuties and…this show. At this point, Stranger Things is a shadow of its former self. Not only are there no stakes, because everyone has plot armor, but it’s basically just teenage drama at this point. Remember how in Season 1, the demagorgan was actually scary? Remember how going into the upside down had health consequences? The characters just walk around now without a problem. But this show is just drama filled enough to keep the attention of the masses without actually having any substance. It makes me sad that it followed the pattern of the first season being the most interesting season and then everything going down hill from there. How did THIS show, of all shows…make me not care? What could be worse then this?

Well…

#1. Harry Potter Series

I loved this as a kid. I read this thing so many times…but now…I’m past it, and JK is just. A. Terrible. Terrible. Person…the fact that it doesn’t end with her words, that she actively gives money and supports hate groups, kind ruins the messages I learned in HP. As a kid, I thought part of the point was to be inclusive, and to make life better for people that are mistreated by the mainstream. But no. Not only were the last few movies terrible, but Rowling keeps digging that hole. Even if I wanted to, I just can’t enjoy it anymore. So, even if not everyone will. I’m going to let it die. We need another book series to inspire a generation…I just can’t with this anymore…

[aclosetfan]

That was the funniest fucking thing and really just nailed almost every fanfic of them ever. And the thing is, half that isn’t even that bad. Because they can do all that but why is it always either gross or just never explained? Blossom especially because she can be stressed but who the fuck died and gave her that job when, realistically, she’d have had to fight to be able to have some control over their missions or whatever seeing as she’s both a girl and a child? And then the blues is just something else entirely😭 I will say though, it always confuses me when fanfic authors allow for Boomer to somehow be a genius but then never give Butch that chance? Is it just a quick and easy way to slide in their favorite abusive/dominate the ‘different girl’ trope? It’s also misogynistic in so many ways cause why’s Boomer smart and then Bubbles isn’t if the only reason Brick was made smart was so he’d be a counter to Blossom? Is this just to shove dumb blonde needs saving? Also, enough give me my himbos!! I’m so glad so many of these tropes have slowly started to fade away and here’s to hoping even more follow, especially the reds are gods oh my fucking god if I have to read one more story (that’s usually pretty well written with an intriguing plot!!!) about how sad and lonely and hated Blossom is and how she’s the most powerful ever but also nobody understand except her sworn enemy who she cannot love because of whatever rules she made up, then I’m gonna lose it. I love these losers so much and it sucks seeing some of them in abusive relationships and then seeing the girls especially have to give up so much of themselves and their development just to be with some boys. If anything, the boys would cling to the girls like they’re life support. If they’re gonna turn good, who better to learn from than the goodest™️? Which just opens up a brilliant story of friendships and team building that has lots of plotlines, with one of the main ones being the boys steady journey to turning a new leaf, like with Another Buttercrush and the boys having to ease back in via power restrictions and community service.

I was just nodding my head, reading along, and then you added the stuff about Another Buttercrush and had an "oh shit, I know that story lol" moment. Thank you! I know too much about the law that, realistically, the boys wouldn't be able to escape some kind of punishment for their past actions. Townsville would be stupid for denying the help of three extra super-powered people, but they have to make their citizens believe they have authority over the boys, so boom, power restrictions. That's boiled down politics, bby.

and it takes some of the pressure off the girls. Yeah, the girls would like the boys to be good, but they can't be judge, jury, and executioner. A lot of fanfics leave out how influential Townsville is in the girls' origin story. I believe it would be just as influential in the boys' redemption arc, and it gives the writers a chance to explore the boys outside of the girls and invent new conflicts, like person v society, instead of just person v person.

And if you're able to remove the sets of triplets from each other in this way, this also improves the girls' characters as well. Setting up a person v society conflict would allow fanfic writers to not only show how Townsville affects the boys but also allow you to explore why Blossom would feel stressed out about being a leader or why Bubbles feels the need to be infantilized not just in the context of their personal relationships with the boys, but as individuals.

However, I don't think most ppl come to this fandom for those deep dives into Townsville, and that's fine. Some people strictly want romance, which, like you were saying, anon, can be done in so many different ways that aren't determinantal to the girls or the boys. But until more ppl want that, we aren't going to get much more variety in stories. It's seriously not fun writing for three notes ngl, so I understand why ppl cut/paste the same boring, overdone, and problematic characterizations since those tropes get traction.

Nearly every time I try to write something serious, I have to sit there and remind myself that fanfic isn't literature in the traditional sense. People don't care about themes and plot lines when they're reading it. They care about their fave characters getting what they feel their fave character deserves. And it's a lil' depressing, but at the very least, I know a few people who agree with us!

In sum:

[kasienda]

🤢🎢😴✊👀

🤢 Grossest fic you ever read?

I have an answer to this question, but I don't want to say negative things about someone else's work on main (though you might be able to guess because we've talked about it before) because I again don't think I'm defining gross the same way most would in this context. But the thing about this fic that I'm thinking of is that it's actually really well written!! I couldn't stop reading it! It made me feel so many things. But it also made me want to scream like every other page because the writer and I had like polar opposite values. Polar opposite. But I couldn't look away! Haha!

🎢 Name a fic that was a ride from start to finish.

Balancing Act by @fictionalinfinity - I don't think this would be AS much of a rollercoaster for most readers, but this is a Marinette has epilepsy AU, and like, that's super personal for me. Reading this the first time was hard. Early in this story when Marinette was having symptoms, and I knew what they meant and she was dismissing it, and I was like "GO TO A DOCTOR RIGHT NOW!!" and later when she wasn't telling people that needed to know I was also screaming and wanting to shake her!! I was so up and down and crying and relating and it was a gift, and it was a roller coaster. I have since reread it twice, and I can maintain a more emotional equilibrium, but that first time, it was a nail-biter from beginning to end.

😴 What kind of fics makes you bored?

Usually super short ones? Like I want to dig into an idea. And if something is less than 2000 words there's no time to really explore it. And some people are really really good at capturing a moment with little 100 word drabbles, but even then, I want MORE.

Battles and smut scenes can be really boring for me if they are just describing action for action's own sake. If there's no emotional subtext or no stakes for the overall story arc, these types of scenes tend to be really boring in my opinion. It's like no matter how well you describe the action, it doesn't do anything for me unless I have a connection to it. If you don't need it to show something about the story, I'm a fan of time skips!

Marichat fics have to be pretty creative now for me to get into them, though this wasn't always the case. There's just a lot of them and of those a lot of them are very similar (especially true in early fandom).

✊🏼 What kind of fanfiction do you think you will never read?

I typically don't read fic that focus on original characters in the world I love or a sub genre of this is like "the next generation" fics. I typically avoid enemies to lovers. I avoid ships that I don't connect with - usually ones that feature two side characters that just don't have a lot of development in canon. I need identity shennigans so I don't usually read no powers AUs either. I really don't enjoy Lila revenge fics at all.

But I've read really good fics in every single one of those categories. Even a Lila revenge! Usually I am more willing to try them when they're written by authors that I already know I like. So I can't say NEVER.

The other thing I struggle with is to get into new fandoms. Like even when I adore the source material, I have a hard time finding stuff I want to read. This has recently been true for Owl House and SpyxFamily. In the past, I've tried to get into ATLA and Dragon Prince fic. And I just have a hard time with it. I don't know what's missing! Or if it's a fandom culture discrepancy or what! Maybe just not enough identity shennigans! Haha! (I really did think SpyxFamily would scratch that itch, but the only fics that explored identity reveals that I could find in SpyxFamily were written by miraculous writers! Haha!)

👀 A fanfiction you’ve seen several times while scrolling through fics but never actually read?

Okay, so there's more than a few! But the thing is if I don't read them, I don't know what they're called! It's the summary that's familiar, not the fic itself.

It WAS One Does Not Love Breathing, but as you know I did finally read that one, which I read the summary for many many many times, and never felt tempted. Just didn't seem like my kind of fic. It was people talking about a particular scene that made me curious and give it a chance. This type of fic - we're in the future and there's a new enemy - usually falls into the category of fic I don't usually read.

Thanks, friend for the ask! You make my nursing sessions less boring! Thank you!!

Reader ask game!

[ouyangzizhensdad]

Phoenix Mountain Kiss and Consent/Boundaries in MDZS

The following opinion, expressed in the recent mdzs controversial opinion thread on twitter, is actually one I’ve meant to address for a while:

Even if most of fans loves the 'stolen kiss scene' in the Phoenix Mountain in the novel, that was a sexual harassment.

People in the fandom, especially those who were introduced first to the novel through cql, have a tendency to criticize the Phoenix Mountain kiss scene, saying it was non-consensual. My problem is not that they are wrong. The kiss is (or starts as, at the very least) non-consensual. My problem with this criticism is that people point this out as if it were a mistake. As if mxtx had meant to write a romantic kiss and had instead fumbled it all up and made it not consensual by virtue of not being woke, not being a good enough writer, or being too influenced by bl tropes. And that readers are too unsuspecting or not educated enough to realize the wrong mxtx committed. 

Here’s my hot take: The kiss is non-consensual because it was written to be non-consensual. mxtx is not trying to pull the wool over our eyes. The reason why we, as readers, can infer that, is because the non-consensual aspects of the kiss are important to the events of the plot, some of themes explored in the book, lwj and wwx’s relationship after wwx’s return, and lwj’s character arc. mxtx uses this moment and its aftermaths, amongst others, to make a point about consent and communication in relationships--one of the central themes of the novel. Shocking, I know. Arguing that consent and communication are a main theme in mdsz: now that's a controversial opinion.

Now, I won’t argue mxtx always manages to develop this theme with utmost finesse. You can critique and disagree with her treatment of the theme throughout the novel (taking into consideration, as well, how it’s not just explored through lwj and wwx’s relationship). That being said, isolating events in the novel like the Phoenix kiss scene to mark them as Good or Bad without considering the context in which they happen and are explored within the novel is just bad literary analysis :/. 

Let’s first consider this simple statement: the non-consensual aspect of the kiss is not accidental--mxtx knew it was non-consensual when she wrote it, and she wasn’t trying to hide that fact. 

By the time we reach the Phoenix Mountain competition, lwj has accepted his feelings for wwx, and that these feelings will not be returned. After all, in the xuanwu cave, wwx took great pains to ‘reassure’ him that he is super-straight-and-totally-would-never-flirt-with-him. Yet, wwx continues to ‘flirt’ with him--tossing a flower at him just before the competition--which we can gather is a source of, um, great torment for him. 

We are not privy to lwj’s thought process leading to the stolen kiss. What we know for certain, however, is how he reacts to and perceives his own actions after the fact.  Through wwx’s unreliable narration, we can still understand that lwj immediately regrets his actions and feels uncontrollable anger towards himself and his lack of self-restraint. While wwx has more complicated and contradictory feelings bout the kiss, lwj clearly sees his actions as wrong and disrespectful. He is scared of what he has been capable of doing unto another person--pushing wwx away the moment he sees him after the kiss. 

The person spun around. It was Lan Wangji after all. However, right now, his eyes were bloodshot, his expression almost frightening. Wei Wuxian was startled, “Wow, so scary.”

Lan Wangji’s voice was harsh, “Go!”

Wei Wuxian, “I just came here and you want me to go. Do you really hate me that much?”

Lan Wangji, “Stay away from me!” [chapter 69]

As readers, we are told that the Phoenix Mountain kiss, nor its implications, is not something to consider lightly. The fact that lwj’s reaction after the kiss is written in, and that it is so intense for someone usually so reserved, or the fact that we learn that more than a decade later he is still ashamed of himself and describe himself as having done something wrong (or, very wrong 很不对 ), all prove that the non-consensual aspect of the kiss is not an accident and is not downplayed as something to expect from someone in love with another person. 

蓝忘机闷声道：“我，那时，自知不对。很不对。” [chapter 111]

I can already hear some people ask: even if it was not an accident, why chose to include a non-consensual kiss between the two romantic leads? if not because it is a bl trope/weird kink, why did mxtx chose to put this in her novel? what do we gain by including dubious consent or non-consensual interactions in our fiction?

The long-short answer is: because the act of crossing boundaries is a very productive story-telling device for any piece of media focusing on any type of interpersonal relationships. Crossing boundaries--willfully or unintentionally--is a source of conflict, internal and/or relational, which can drive the plot forward, shape character development and relationships, as well as be useful for certain thematic discussions. 

Current discourses regarding consent in English-speaking, mostly-western spheres of the web tend to be very polarized, painting people who cross boundaries as bad. The solution presented (i.e. how to not be a bad person) tends to be an invitation for everyone, within any relationship, to constantly negotiate consent verbally and honestly: to constantly disclose boundaries, to constantly ask for permission, etc. While I do not dismiss the value of these suggestions, it is an ideal representative of certain socio-temporally specific cultural expectations of what communication is, how communication should happen, and how relationships should be like, etc.. Human relationships are messy, people are flawed and hurt each other, and we have complex internal lives (for instance, someone might not realize their wants or limits until they are faced with them). Instead of having media show us only a specific type of idealized relationships where boundaries are never crossed, ever, they allow us to explore the implications of boundaries within interpersonal relationships. Or, sometimes, media and fiction just aim to represent or are influenced by this very real part of human relationships, and use it as a way to create conflict within the narrative and relationships (sometimes in a interesting manner, sometimes in a very gross manner).

In mdsz, the Phoenix mountain non-consensual kiss is a two-fold source of conflict:  internal (lwj) and relational. While wwx remains unaware until he and lwj are together of the identity of the person who kissed him, the implications of the kiss ends up shaping their relationship both before and after wwx’s rebirth. 

A source of (unknown) conflict between lwj and wwx after he is summoned back from the dead is the fact that lwj believes wwx is aware of his feelings. But this conflict is further compounded by the fact that lwj has once forced his feelings unto wwx, and is utterly afraid that he would dare to ever do it again. That is why, every time wwx initiates physical contact, or flirts very deliberately with lwj, lwj never goes further than what wwx has initiated. Sometimes, he even de-escalates their proximity or level of intimacy (usually by asking wwx to “ 别乱动”  or, famously during Drunk#2, by literally knocking himself out) --out of fear that he, again, would lack self-control and do something wrong to the man he loved.  He never presumes he has the permission to push their relationship further than what wwx is offering. Without that added source of conflict, would it have been reasonable to expect lwj and wwx to have realized their mutual feelings earlier, even with the issue of lwj not being aware wwx does not know of his feelings?

“In the beginning, the reason for behaving in such a manner was to let Lan Wangji be disgusted with him and kick him out of the Cloud Recesses, and they would never have to meet again, going their separate ways. Lan Wangji couldn’t possibly tell what his real intentions were. Yet, [..] even when faced with Wei Wuxian’s various actions, tricks, and pranks, Lan Wangji never once lost his temper, reciprocating with restraint and courtesy.” [chapter 99]

That is all true, of course, until Drunk 3. Here again, the ghost of the stolen kiss plays a part in accentuating the conflict. Without it, would lwj have jumped to conclusions as quickly? And, plot-wise, the shared perception of wwx and lwj that they have taken advantage of the other is a source of conflict that does multiple things--it gives wwx an incentive to go look at the temple at night to distract himself from his guilt and sadness, instead of going the next day with lwj (at which point jgy would have had perhaps already left) and it keeps wwx in the dark about lwj’s feelings until lxc reveals to him the events of the past he has forgotten. Here again, issues of consent are clearly taken into consideration as a source of conflict, shaping both characters’ motivations and the events of the plot.

Finally, the theme of consent/boundaries is an important aspect of lwj’s internal struggle, particularly in relation to his father’s choices. The kiss is part of his journey. 

It is not coincidental that the Lan motto is “Be Honorable”/”Self-restraint,” and that lwj is presented as the model Lan disciple. This element is part of the context that gives narrative and thematic meaning to the non-consensual kiss. When lwj forces a kiss on a blindfolded wwx, lwj goes against the values he holds dear and the teachings that were imparted unto him--prime internal conflict. 

But what is also interesting, to me in any case, is how consent is the thing that ultimately differentiates lwj’s choices from his father’s. 

How willing was Lan-furen to be saved by Qingheng-jun? to be taken to live in seclusion in the Cloud Recesses? to be married to him? to have children with him? The novel never tells us clearly. However, the novel gives us an idea of how lqr, lxc and lwj perceive their parents’ relationship. For lwj, we are given an insight into his perception indirectly during the following conversation between him and lxc.

[Lan Xichen] spoke, “Wangji, is there something on your mind? Why have you been so tense?”

Of course, in most people’s eyes, the ‘tenseness’ probably looked no different than Lan Wangji’s other expressions.

Lan Wangji’s brows sunk low as he shook his head. A few moments later, he replied in a low voice, “Brother, I want to take someone back to the Cloud Recesses.”

Lan Xichen was surprised. “Take someone back to the Cloud Recesses?”

Lan Wangji nodded, his expression pensive. After a pause, he continued, “Take them back… and hide them somewhere.”

Lan Xichen’s eyes immediately widened.

[…]

“Hide them somewhere?”

Lan Wangji frowned softly. “But they are not willing.” [chapter 72]

Indirectly, we come to understand that lwj draws parallels with his father situation: they both want to protect someone by taking them to the Cloud Recesses, but these persons are unwilling. The unsaid question here is, would I choose to do as our father did? 

The non-consensual kiss is part of lwj’s journey, through which he comes to understand that, despite his strict upbringing and disciplined lifestyle that was supposed to keep him from becoming like his father, he is capable of being his father (or at least who he thinks his father is). He learns that he can understand what sort of passionate feelings could bring someone to do something that goes against not only the wishes of his clan members, but the very wishes of the person they love, for the sake of keeping them safe or for the sake of having them by their sides. And at the end of that internal journey, lwj chooses not be like his father--to put wwx’s decisions and wants and needs first. After buyetian, lwj offers his protection and confesses his feelings--and wwx rejects him. lwj respects wwx’s choice, while still going against his clan to protect him. He brings wwx back to Mass Grave Hill knowing full well that wwx would not survive long the wrath of the four great sects seeking revenge against him, and goes home to receive his punishment.

Overall, what I tried to say in many many words, is that the Phoenix Mountain kiss is not non-consensual by accident. It is not because mxtx is an awful person or is not educated enough, or because she thinks dubious consent is romantic. The fact that it is non-consensual is addressed within the narrative, fuels internal and external conflicts, and is as well woven into the plot structure and the themes of the novel. The kiss is not an outlier element, added to titillate a readership--it exists as an integral part of the novel.

I’m not saying it’s not okay to decide that you do not want to engage with any content that includes non-consensual interactions or dubious consent because that triggers or irks you regardless of the way it is handled. It is totally valid to not personally enjoy or have criticisms about choices mxtx made in exploring these themes, in presenting the internal and relational conflicts around consent/boundaries, or even in the way she decided to write the scenes that figure dubious consent. However, it is not really helpful to divorce an event from its context within a piece of media in order to brand it as either Problematic or Unproblematic, Good or Bad.

Note: Much more could be said about the theme of consent/boundaries in mdzs; this is not exhaustive in the least. 

Note2: Much more could be said, in relation to the question and theme of consent, about: the cultural limitations of Westerners to engage fully with a text written for a chinese audience; the limits of fan translators to fully understand  the nuances and themes of a novel and to communicate them in a different language; about the place dubious consent and non-consensual interactions has had in the romance/erotica genre for a long time, and no, not only because Misogyny or Homophobia. 

[longitudinalwaveme]

Worst Flash Storylines and Plot Ideas of All Time

As you’ve probably ascertained from the general contents of this blog, the Flash is my favorite comic book series. I love the characters and most of the stories. However, just like any series that’s been around for eighty years (counting the Jay Garrick stuff), the Flash does, unfortunately, have some truly terrible stories and plot ideas. 

In terms of terrible plot ideas that didn’t completely ruin the surrounding stories: 

1. Barry Allen uses the Mirror Master’s mirrors to manipulate Iris into agreeing to start dating him again (Flash #109). Creepy, Barry. Just creepy. The story is great Silver Age fun otherwise. 

2. Iris West: meanest woman alive. Iris was, by and large, incredibly awful to Barry up until maybe about a year before their 1966 marriage. Almost every time she shows up in an early Silver Age issue, you will admire her daring and independence (this is good) and be bewildered as to why on Earth Barry would want to spend time with a woman who is constantly calling him slow, lazy, and ambition-less (this is not good). It doesn’t really affect any one issue too much, but when read in a conglomerate, she starts looking really awful. Although as bad as Early Silver Age Iris seems as a romantic interest, she’s got nothing on Silver Age Superman and Lois Lane, the most dysfunctional couple in the DCU. 

3. Wally West’s zero-effort code name and costume (Flash #110). It really could not be more obvious how little effort the writers were putting into creating this character. The duplicate origin is also pretty cheesy, but there are enough differences from Barry’s origin for it not to frustrate me. But the name “Kid Flash” and the fact that his first costume was literally identical to Barry’s just feel incredibly lazy. Barry and Wally do have an adorable dynamic in the issue, though, so it’s by no means all bad. 

4. Barry Allen waiting an entire year after his marriage to tell his wife that he’s really the Flash. Frustrating and unnecessary; especially since Joan Garrick had been in on her husband’s secret since the 1940s. 

5. Iris Allen is FROM THE FUTURE. I both love and hate this idea. It’s so perfectly comic-booky, but at the same time, it opened the floodgates for the Allen family being a confusing, time-displaced mess. 

6. The Trial of Barry Allen. This one’s weird. I like many of the individual issues in this arc, and I actually think the last two issues are really great as an ending for Barry Allen’s original run, but this storyline dragged on for waaaaaay too long. There’s a reason I call it the Arc that Never Ends. Also, the titular trial is actually the least interesting part of the entire storyline. His battles with the Rogues and Kadabra are far more interesting. 

7. Wally West’s borderline creepy, chauvinistic attitude towards women under Mike Baron (and, to a much lesser extent, William Messner-Loebs). There’s being a hormonal twenty-something, and then there’s going through girlfriends at the rate other people change their socks. Messner-Loebs mostly avoided this issue by making it clear that Wally was under intense psychological stress that was negatively impacting his behavior, but under Baron and in some of his JLE appearances, he comes across as a real creep around women. 

8. Kadabra overkill under Mark Waid: I like Kadabra, but when he’s the main villain in like four distinct arcs, it gets to be a bit much. It’s like modern Eobard. He is legitimately written well, though, so he doesn’t drag down any of the stories too much. 

9. Pointlessly Dead Rogues: Killing off the Rogues in Underworld Unleashed for no good reason (the rest of the story is great, especially the Trickster). 

10. Pointlessly Dead Rogues 2: Electric Boogaloo: The Golden Glider’s pointless death to build up a character who was himself killed two issues later. (The rest of the story is decent.) Also, the treatment of Lisa in general post-Crisis is frustrating, since she becomes considerably more unhinged than she was before. 

11. Any time Waid tried to write McCulloch, with the exception of Flash vol. 2 #105 (and even there, he seemed off). It’s like he forgot Evan wasn’t Sam. 

12. Apparently, the Top trying to blow up both Central City and half the world makes him a loser? Also, he suddenly hates Piper for no readily apparent reason. (At least the story had some good Piper and Wally bits.) 

13. BARRY ALLEN HAS A SECRET EVIL TWIN! DUN DUN DUN! (The rest of the story, where we get to meet a whole whack of interesting future Flashes, is actually pretty good, but whoo boy, the Malcolm reveal feels like it came straight out of a soap opera.) 

14. In order for Captain Cold to ANGST, the Golden Glider’s pointless death remained in place for over ten years. It did give us a really, really good Capt. Cold story, at least...but it’s still fridging. 

15. Rainbow Raider’s mean-spirited murder by Blacksmith. Poor Roy. 

16. Albert Desmond becomes Hannibal Lecter, only twenty times as rude, for a Gotham Central arc that would’ve been terrific without him as the main villain. 

17. Owen Mercer is an idiotic child murderer and gets killed by the Rogues. Why was this necessary? (The rest of Blackest Night: The Flash is pretty good.) 

18. Josh Jackam-Mardon’s murder. The murder of small children for shock value is pretty gross. Especially since nothing was ever really done with it. 

19. Barry’s PARENTS ARE DEEEEAAAAD! (Okay, it’s really just his mom, but still. This is a very frustrating retcon, since originally his parents were alive and well until after his own death.) 

20. Albert Desmond was Barry’s jerk coworker; which never impacted the plot or led to anything. As a result, it’s just another frustrating retcon. 

21. Sam Scudder murdered someone before becoming the Mirror Master. Yet another Johns retcon that never went anywhere and only serves to darken the Silver and Bronze Age stories after the fact. 

22. Flashpoint (a decent story) wiped out a whole bunch of characters I really liked from existence for several years. Evan McCulloch’s still not back. 

23. Giving the Rogues metahuman powers doesn’t suit them, on the whole. They work better without them. 

24. Roy’s second pointless, brutal death in (I think) Forever Evil. 

25. IT WAS MEEEEE, BARRY! After serving as the main villain for like six arcs in eight years, I’m glad that Eobard finally seems to be getting a rest. The level of bad things he was responsible for was getting ridiculous. 

26. Sam/Lisa. WHY? (The only time it even kind of worked was in Forever Evil.) 

In terms of entire storylines I didn’t like: 

1. The Flash: The Most Terribly Written Man Alive. Poor Bart is aged up with no adequate explanation, loses all the traits that made him a likeable character, fights some awful villains, and then is murdered by the badly OOC Rogues. Meanwhile, Inertia goes from an at least somewhat sympathetic villain to a complete psychopath with little explanation, a murder is retconned into one of Captain Cold’s reformed periods, the Pied Piper and the Trickster completely forget that they’re supposed to be reformed, Abra Kadabra inexplicably teams up with the Rogues despite generally being a solo operative, and all of the Rogues act like total morons, willingly following a teenage speedster for no adequately explained reason. UGH. 

2. Countdown to Infinite Crisis: Even though Piper and Trickster were probably the best part of Countdown, that isn’t saying much. Both of them are uncharacteristically stupid (especially James), and James is a grade-A jerk to Piper for no reason. Also, both of them continue to forget that they reformed, and then James gets brutally murdered and Piper almost loses his mind. Also, the other Rogues cameo, and continue to act like idiots. Countdown: it really does ruin everything it touches. 

Superboy Prime will kill you! He’ll kill you to DEATH! And after you read Countdown, you’ll wish he had killed you to death. 

3. The Identity Crisis Tie-In Retcon: So, you know all that awesome character development the Rogues have had over the years? Well, forget all that, because it was all just Roscoe brainwashing them! Which was something he could definitely do before this story! And why did he do this? Why, because Barry Allen, one of the most upstanding men in the DCU, brainwashed him! Also, apparently, the Top had a huge bodycount that we never heard about back in the Bronze Age, because we need even MORE grimdark retcons for our cheerful Silver/Bronze Age history! I like Geoff Johns’ work, I really do....but BOY HOWDY does he need to lay off on the retcons sometimes. 

4. Identity Crisis: With the exception of Owen’s introduction and the establishment of the relationship between him and Digger, this story was pretty awful all around. More specifically, as far as the Flash was concerned, it was responsible for Digger’s second pointless death. It also killed off poor Jack Drake and poor, mistreated Sue Dibney, who deserved MUCH better. And the Justice League, including Barry, are A-OK with brainwashing, apparently. Comics are fun! 

These last two stories are pretty recent, and they did have some parts I liked, but on the whole I felt they also belonged on the list. 

5. The Trickster finally returns! Hurrah! Except it turns out that he’s way more like the Joker now than he ever was before, and he mind-controls the city in a super-creepy way. A very disappointing return for the character, especially since it was set up really well. 

6. Forever Evil: Captain Cold becomes a murderous dictator with a stupid Santa Beard, all of the Rogues get horrible costumes, and Sam completes his mutation into Evan-in-all-but-name. There are some good characters bits in the story (even for Cold), but on the whole, I found the story to just be unlikeable and depressing and thought Cold was pretty out-of-character. Poor Commander Cold....

So, what are your least favorite Flash storylines and plot ideas? 

[noethicalconsumptionunderdisney]

Ranked: Hannah Montana — Jake Ryan Episodes

Here we are at last: Jake Ryan.  I think you all probably could’ve seen this coming, but I had to keep you waiting (and gather my thoughts a bit).  Of Miley’s canon love interests, Jake (Leslie) Ryan is the one that gets the most screentime overall, and happens to be my personal favorite match for her, so it only makes sense to dedicate a Ranked post to him.  As per usual, I’ll be revealing these rankings from Worst->Best, in reverse-order of how much I liked them.

Which brings us to probably the most unambiguous “Worst” ever:

“The End of the Jake As We Know It” (Season Four)

Yeah.  Of all the episodes on this list, this is the only one I actively dislike.  I don’t think this one was too much of a shock to anyone, but let me talk about why anyway:

This is the first and only time Jake shows up in Season 4.  He’s barely shown in Season 3, which we’ll talk about a little more further down, but he really just seems to appear solely to be dragged through the mud, and then unceremoniously shooed out so Miley can ride off into the sunset with Jesse. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with them breaking up.  I wouldn’t be happy about it, but you could at least give a better reason— you’ve done it before!  Twice!  And there’s a perfectly good reason right there in front of them: they’ve been apart for a while, they liked each other as kids, but now that they’re getting older and growing into separate lives, they’re growing apart.  But no, let’s just have him randomly cheat on her, because that’s totally a satisfying conclusion to a multi-season arc.  Calling one of your most beloved recurring characters a dick for 30 minutes is peak comedy, amirite?

This is also the only time in Season 4 that Oliver is actually an important part of an episode? He shows up for like 5 minutes in the Finale, but really, the Season 4 episode where he has the most screentime is this one.  And while there’s nothing wrong with how Oliver is written here, it just makes a little extra mad, because most of his screentime is focused on this dumbass plot development.  I can’t help but think, They brought back my man for this?! on both counts.

But let’s move on to less loathsome episodes, shall we?

“He Could Be The One” (Season Three)

Okay, I might catch some shit for this.  I know. This episode’s very popular.  I am aware of that.  And I don’t actually hate this episode, like with the other one.  I like the song, I like Miley asserting herself to her dad when it comes to her dating life, Lilly and Oliver are on-point (although that does kind of apply to the last episode too), and I even liked most of the interactions between Miley and Jake.  That said, here’s why I’m ranking it so low:

THE ONLY REASON IT EXISTS IS TO SET MILEY UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Everything from the start of the episode to the weird reframing of Miley and Jake’s complicated past to the focus on Miley bonding with someone else, thinking about that someone else when she’s singing to Jake, talking about how she wants to kiss that someone else so badly except for the inconvenient fact that she’s with Jake, to the episode treating them like equivalent options that are just so hard to decide between despite she and Jesse barely knowing each other and having no history outside this episode… every bit of it is designed to make you like the other guy better and root for the other guy.  

And I guess if you haven’t watched the other episodes, or you have but it’s been awhile and you don’t remember them super-well, it’s easier to root for Jesse (ignoring all the problems that he himself has as a character, in this episode, even, but let’s not focus on that right now).  But this show can’t trick me that easily, sorry not sorry.

I “should” like this episode more, given that this is when they get back together, but they could’ve gotten them together differently.  Instead, we have Lilly berating Miley for going back to her ex after she rejects Jesse, we have Miley… tackling Jake?  Did anyone else find that odd?  Funny, yes, but weird as hell, and not really indicative of their dynamic.  And worst of all, we have them completely rewriting history and hoping we don’t notice.  It’s not respectful to list “we have so much history” as a reason to stay with Jake if you can’t be bothered to portray that history accurately.  So before we delve into that history a bit, let me make one thing abundantly clear:

Jake did not break Miley’s heart.  He’s also not the only one who’s ever fucked up or acted immaturely in their relationship. You wouldn’t know it from watching this, but she’s the one who broke up with him the only time they actually did date.  Yeah, it was kind of crappy of him to make her think he was marrying her friend so he could “Gotcha!” her on TV, and it wasn’t great of him to kiss her and then leave in Season 1, but that’s a far cry away from “breaking her heart.”  He literally never did.  The fact that they framed it that way is not only frustrating, but also some gross foreshadowing for what they ultimately did to his character later on.

That said, the way Jake actually is when he’s onscreen (i.e. when you look at how he actually acts and not just how other people are talking about him) is pretty in-character, funny even.  Miley and Jake still have their chemistry and their interactions are amazing apart from that weird tackling thing, and Jake reacting to the cat sweater was something I didn’t know I needed.  So objections aside, I do like this episode.  Just not as much as what’s to come.

“Jake… Another Little Piece of My Heart” (Season Three)

So while my previous entry was largely dedicated to explaining why it was ranked lower, this entry is going to be a defense of sorts, explaining why this episode, yeah might not be the best, but is a lot better than people remember, or at least is one I’m still very fond of.  

In Jake’s last appearance before this, Miley agreed to be “just friends” with him.  Here, we see them following up on that.  She calls him “one of [her] best friends,” and not only that, she shows that she knows him well enough to know why he, of all people, should not be getting married young.  “You change your phone plans every 6 weeks.”  How does she know this?  Because they kept in contact with each other.  They contact each other frequently enough for her to know that he changes his phone plan all the time.  They kept their promise!  They’re exes, yes, and there’s still tension there as we see in the end, but they genuinely do feel like friends, and not just like they’re awkwardly forcing it.

Miley is understandably pissed when he pranks her, but that’s only because she cares so much, and I do think there’s genuine concern there as a friend, even if she very likely was also jealous.  They’re comfortable around each other, they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better, and the hint that there’s still more lingering between them at the end is both promising and open-ended.  They don’t get back together right then… but they show that they could, because those feelings are still there, despite everything.

I wonder, though, if this episode would’ve worked better had it aired earlier.  We get indications that it was filmed earlier than some of the others, namely that scenes from it show up in the Opening Credits for that season, but for whatever reason, it didn’t air until much later.  I’m not sure why, but I do think things could’ve been better had they reintroduced her relationship with Jake (friendship with some lingering feelings) earlier on, had a few more “regular” episodes without him, and then given the two a proper arc later in the season rather than just one episode where they’re like, “We’re back together now!  But I also kind of like this other guy!  Oh no!” and then he’s not there the rest of the season.  But c’est la vie.  

Now onto the good stuff:

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

Honestly, the way the entire Season 1 arc unfolds with them is so natural and beautifully done, I almost don’t feel like it’s fair to dissect them individually and split them up based on personal favorites, because they work best in order and as a unit. But I still have my opinions.

I’ve expressed previously why I love Dolly Parton’s appearance here and why she kills it, but in terms of Miley’s development with Jake, this one remains the most stagnant and frustrating. Painfully realistic, of course, and very in-character for everyone, but of all the Season 1 Jake episodes, this is the one that has the least Jake in it?  Which is not really why I’m ranking it lower, but it does put their dynamic into generic “girl clearly likes guy but is too proud and scared to admit her feelings” territory.  Which is necessary for their story to develop, but isn’t as fun as the episodes where we actually see why she hasn’t been “falling all over him” up to this point (meaning, her aversion to his personality).  And we pretty much end the episode right where we started: once again, Miley’s pining over him, wants to express her feelings for him, but feels like she can’t… only now she’s got a more solid reason not to.

“More Than A Zombie To Me” (Season One)

I was torn at first between this one and the Dolly one, but I ranked this one higher for a few reasons. For one, the storyline is a bit more complex and nuanced.  Lilly teases Miley for being in denial of her feelings for Jake, Miley rejects him when he asks her out… but then Hannah Montana has to kiss him.  She makes a case for why she shouldn’t have to kiss him… only to realize she wanted to when they actually listen to her.  Jake respects her “no” and asks someone else… only for her to realize she wanted him after all.  Miley fights with Lilly for Jake’s affections… only for her to realize that her friendship with Lilly is more important than whether or not she “gets the guy.”  

Beat for beat, Miley is always one step behind, not because she’s stupid, but because she has too much pride to see what’s right in front of her, to acknowledge her own feelings.  It’s not the most pleasant characterization for Miley, but it is very telling characterization, and it paints an interesting picture of her and her relationships to both Jake and Lilly— that she genuinely wants to mean what she says and say what she means, but her pride makes it harder for her to figure out what she actually wants.  She genuinely wants to be a decent, down-to-earth person, but sometimes she’s too self-centered to realize how she’s coming off and how she might be hurting others.

What’s most interesting here, though, is Lilly’s characterization and development in the Jake arc.  In this episode and the one before it, she’s among the girls who are “falling all over” Jake, even continuing to say “Sup” to him because he said it to her once like it’s their “special thing.”  She alternates between starstruck awe over Jake and amusement over Miley’s aversion to him, teasing Miley that she may be protesting too much, and shamelessly drooling all over him to Miley’s annoyance.  After this episode, we see her being the supportive friend and #1 Shipper On Deck for Jake and Miley… then firmly against Jake and Miley together after they break up the first time, and from that point on, genuinely over Jake and wanting what’s best for her best friend.  

But this episode… this is where we see the switch.  This is where we see Lilly giving Miley a fair shot, then taking Jake for herself when the opportunity presents itself.  This is where we see her doing something for herself for once and going beyond that “best friend” role… only to realize it’s not meant to be. That Jake only ever had eyes for Miley. That she was the canned fruit cup he settled for after all.  It’s painful and heartbreaking, and perhaps a less strong friendship wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but theirs does.  Because Lilly does.  Because Lilly knows that whatever Miley says, being with Jake would make her happy, and Jake wants Miley more than anyone else.  And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to help them be happy together… even if it means she doesn’t get the guy herself.  I think Lilly’s role in all this is so underrated, and she deserves massive credit for the maturity and development she displays here.

And of course, we have more characterization for Jake, where he’s… very much himself, but also better than Miley initially gives him credit for.  Yeah, he’s still hiding behind his ego and bravado, and he does initially say Miley must’ve been nervous to reject him when he asks her out a second time on the beach, but we also see him accepting that she doesn’t like him back (or so he thinks).  We see that he’s sweet to Hannah as a coworker, and then he confides in her that he likes Miley because she’s “cute, funny, smart, down-to-earth,” and because she sees him as a person, not as a superstar. I do think “moving on” from Miley by asking out her best friend, right in front of her, is kind of a dick move (or possibly a jealousy play), and he could’ve made a little more of an effort to be loyal to Lilly as she was his date, rather than being so obvious that he preferred Miley, but overall, I think this is a good episode for developing Jake as someone with hidden depths, and someone Miley could realistically fall for.  

(Also, the subplot is comedy gold from start to finish.)

“People Who Use People” (Season One)

Their first kiss! Yeah, there’s no getting around it: this one’s amazing.  Their banter is just on point from beginning to end.  We have a continuation of Jake and Hannah’s pleasant costar relationship, a continuation of Miley’s ever-more-obvious feelings for Jake, and we have a culmination of the tension between the two in an incredible scene. Once again, this does one of my favorite things: it turns the narrative on its head.  We know Miley used Willis to make Jake jealous, but now it’s revealed that Jake was doing the same thing with Holly all along.

“Holly?  She’s not my girlfriend.  We have a movie coming out, so we’ve been hanging out, it’s a publicity thing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

“Uhhh… well…  I-I think I—”

“Wait a minute, I know why.  Because you were trying to make me jealous.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.  Admit it, Jake, you like me.”

“No, you like me, just say it.”

“No, you say it!”

“No, you!”

“No, you!”

*cue Big Damn Kiss*

They spar with each other like this all episode, meeting each other on the same level beat for beat. And Lilly eating popcorn in the background and falling off her chair?  Let’s not lie to ourselves, we were all Lilly in this moment.  Ultimately, this isn’t the story of “how they got together,” because Jake leaves for a movie, but even that makes some sense.  He feels good that he got to kiss her before he left and doesn’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, she feels angry that he kissed her when he knew he’d be leaving soon, and ultimately his acting career comes before him having a normal life, as it always sort of has, which unfortunately means it also has to come before Miley.  But once again, we have an open ending, a clear “not now” rather than a “never,” and a question to be potentially answered in the future: Will They, Might They, and Would It Work Out?  And of course, what’s next?

But before we get into that, let’s talk about where it all began:

#3: “New Kid in School” (Season One)

Who doesn’t love a good First Meeting, especially one that starts off with two prospective lovers starting off on the wrong foot?  What I love about them starting off on the wrong foot here, though, is that it’s not really due to misunderstandings.  On the contrary, Miley is the only person who knows exactly what’s going on— even better than Jake does, I’d argue, because he doesn’t even realize how arrogant he comes across, and Miley’s the only one willing to call him out on it.

This isn’t even particularly a shippy episode, apart from “Also, he thinks I’m cute, not that I care,” but I’d argue it’s better because it establishes them as characters first, and as Foils.  Both of them are celebrities attending normal school and who, in theory, want to be treated like normal kids, but while Jake talks the talk and still gets everything he wants, Miley walks the walk and has to lose her celebrity privileges in exchange for peace and privacy.  It’s understandable that Miley feels she’s gotten the short end of the stick, and it’s only later, after she’s opened her big mouth of course, when Jake confides in her that sometimes he really does wish he could be normal, it’s only then that she realizes she’s the lucky one.  

But of course it’s not too late for her, it’s too early in the show for that!  So we see her family coming together in this hilarious scene where they pretend they’re all crazy celebrity-impersonators.  As a side note, I like to think they didn’t buy the Elvis costume for this, but that Jackson just had it lying around already and was itching for an excuse to use it.  (Maybe he was Elvis for a previous Halloween, idk.)

In any case, the reason I rank this higher is that even though it doesn’t show that Miley and Jake like each other all that much, it shows why they could like each other, which in my opinion is more important.  I mean, ideally, you’d have both, but this does a good job of introducing Jake as someone who seems like just another egotistical celebrity Miley can’t stand, but underneath that, is someone who just might understand what she goes through better than anyone, and Miley is the perfect person to understand him right back.  

#2: “That’s What Friends Are For?” (Season Two)

The return of not one, but two iconic guest stars in the best and worst way: together.  Months after their breakup, Miley finds Jake at her doorstep after sparring with Mikayla, and is sure he’s only there to get her back… but he just wants to be friends.  Great!  Good, no drama!  That’s exactly what she wanted… right?

Even better, he invites her on the set of a talk show so he can reveal his new movie… and his new costar, her archrival Mikayla.  The worst part is, he chose Mikayla out of courtesy.  He doesn’t know Hannah and Mikayla hate each other, because they act friendly when they’re on-camera.  He did it because he values his relationship with Miley, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by inviting her to play his love interest.  And Miley… well, we all know Miley isn’t as okay with this as she pretends to be, and it only becomes more apparent as the episode goes on.

What I love about this is the role reversal this puts them in.  For once, Jake is the one being mature, and Miley is the one that needs to apologize and grow, and admits it.  It’s framed that way and everything.  It’s almost bittersweet to watch, because this was such a good step for them, and probably the most mature episode involving the two. To see them go backwards in development after this, to see Jake be raked through the coals by the writers, all that good will between them forgotten and retconned and burned to hell later on, there’s just something very bitterly tragic about it.  This episode was so important for them, not just as a relationship, but as people, and I wish that good will they had towards each other had remained and gotten a proper follow-up.

Of course, this was itself an excellent follow-up to…

#1: “Achy Jakey Heart” (Season Two)

Was it ever even a question? Jake Ryan returns in glorious fashion: falling from the sky, in a tux, down on one knee begging Miley’s forgiveness, with chocolates from the sky.  Say what you will, that man knows his way around a Big Romantic Gesture.  And he doesn’t stop there: muffins, “Jake steak,” a cardboard cutout, and barging in the front door in a literal knight costume, he asks what more he can do.   More importantly, he says, “You’ve dumped stuff on me, and you’ve yelled at me.  The one thing you haven’t done is tell me you don’t care about me.  Tell me that, and I’ll go away.”  Even after all this, he’s willing to respect her if the answer is “no.”  He just wants to make sure it’s “no” because she doesn’t want him, and not because she doesn’t believe he cares for her.  He does care for her, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.  

He gets tested for this pretty much right away, fails in private, and then passes in public when Miley least expects him to.  After telling Miley he can’t take her to a movie premiere because he’s pretending to date his costar, he rejects his costar on live TV to confess his love for Miley.  He doesn’t do it expecting her to come back, rather, he admits his fault and accepts that for him, there’s no happy ending.  And Miley responds in the best way possible, showing up with a “Who says real life doesn’t have happy endings?” and a Big Damn Kiss of her own.

This is also when they confide in each other.  Jake tells her his real name is Leslie, and Miley tells him she’s Hannah Montana.  They’re vulnerable with each other for the first time in their relationship, and they understand each other better than ever. Unfortunately, it’s understanding, or lack thereof, that also leads to their demise.  

Jake wants to be a normal guy, or at least he thinks he does.  Miley feels to a certain extent that she is a normal girl, just a normal girl who happened to get famous.  And that disconnect, that difference hurts them.  Miley realizes that Jake doesn’t actually know what it’s like to be normal, and having to be with someone who can’t handle one night of it, as well as the pressure of being famous as Miley too, is what finally cracks them open.  I will say she could’ve handled it a lot better, and good on Jake for calling her out on her lack of communication, but in the end, their relationship is left with a mutual understanding: that Jake respects her secret, listened to what she had to say, and wants to improve.  Not so that he can get her back, but so that he can be “worthy of someone as terrific as” her.  

This also has ONE OF THE BEST SUBPLOTS OF ALL TIME.  Cheese jerky?  Capitalist commentary?  Jackson rolling in money and Rico being mad about it? Oliver and Jackson doing a rap together? Are you not entertained?  Like its main plot, this does end up reverting to the status quo by the end, but it’s done in a way that’s both crushingly realistic and brutally hilarious.  Overall, this episode?  One for the ages.

So there it is— every Jake Ryan episode, ranked.  I have a whole ton more I could say about Jake Ryan, Miley Stewart, and their overall dynamic (and probably will, this week lol nope), but I feel like this is a decent start that outlines my opinions in quite a bit of detail.  While not a perfect couple by any means, they sure as hell made the screen a lot more interesting.  And hey, the course of true love never did run smooth, why should they be any different?

[clonewarsarchives]

Inside 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'

By: Gerri Miller  (original article link on howstuffworks)

Sources

George Lucas interviewed August 4, 2008

Dave Filoni interviewed September 11, 2008

The sci-fi phenomenon that began more than 30 years ago with a movie about a galaxy long ago and far, far away has expanded exponentially ever since with sequels, prequels, books, games and animated spinoffs. Although the animated "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" movie, released this summer, has to date grossed a less than stellar $34 million, it was an offshoot of creator George Lucas' mission to create a TV series, and it served its purpose as a promotional tool for the weekly "Clone Wars" episodes that premiere on Cartoon Network Oct. 3, 2008.

Focused on the conflict briefly referred to in the original "Star Wars," the galactic civil war takes place in the period between "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" and "Episode III: Revenge of the Sith." The Clone Wars pit the Grand Army of the Republic led by the Jedi Knights against the Separatists and their Droid Army, led by Count Dooku, a Jedi turned Sith Lord aligned with the evil Darth Sidious. Many of the characters from the "Star Wars" universe are involved, including Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and young Anakin Skywalker, before he was tempted to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader.

"I was lamenting the fact that in 'Episode II,' I started the Clone Wars, and in 'Episode III,' I ended the Clone Wars, and I never actually got to do anything on the Clone Wars," says Lucas. "It's like skipping over World War II."

To remedy that omission, he tapped Dave Filoni, an animator (Nickelodeon's "Avatar: the Last Airbender" series) and passionate "Star Wars" fan, to bring "The Clone Wars" to TV.

Ensconced at Big Rock Ranch, near Lucas' Skywalker Ranch headquarters in Marin County, Cali., Filoni and his team of artists and computer animators are making 22 episodes in season one and have nearly two more seasons written.

"We're way ahead. We've been doing this ever since I finished 'Revenge of the Sith,'" says Lucas, who hopes to do at least 100 installments.

He and Filoni collaborate on everything from story to design to execution in translating the "Star Wars" universe for television. It's a daunting creative, technical and logistic task, as we'll explain in the following sections.

Building the Universe

How do you scale down an IMAX-size spectacle for television and still have it make an impact, especially on a small screen budget? That's just one of the problems Dave Filoni has to solve.

"'Star Wars' is very famous for the scale of it, and how convincing it looks. So when you're doing a weekly television series, you have to figure out how to do things on that level," he notes. "Sometimes it forces you to be creative and come up with solutions that are better than if you can shoot everything you want," he continues, preferring to consider budgetary constraints a creative incentive rather than a limitation. "The team here is challenged to come up with these giant battles. We haven't shied away from anything."

While he did some of the initial character design, subsequently, Filoni has spent most of his time supervising other artists and animators, who number around 70 in-house and another 80 or so at facilities in Singapore and Taipei.

"Everything is written here, and the story and design and editing are all done here. The animation and lighting are done overseas, and sometimes some modeling as well," he outlines.

­"I meet with George to talk about the episodes and he hands out a lot of the storylines and main ideas for the stories. I'll draw while he's talking and show him the sketch," Filoni continues. "That way we communicate right off the bat about what something might look like."

At any given time, the director notes, episodes are in various stages of completion, "from designing to working on a final cut, or adding sound and color-correction. I have four episodic directors to help me, who each have an episode they're managing."

Rather than use computer animation to duplicate the live-action films' characters or continue in the very stylized vein of the 2004-2005 "Clone Wars" micro-series, "We kind of shot for the middle," says Filoni, who endeavored to blend a 2-D esthetic with 3-D technology.

"The 3-D model makers and riggers who worked on the prequels dealt with the height of realism to create convincing digital characters. I knew that we weren't going to be able to do that for the series. And we wanted it to be different than a live-action feature, to get away from photo-realism. It was a choice to simplify something in the character models, the same way we would do things in a 2-D show."

So how did Filoni stay true to the "Star Wars" legacy in this newest installment? Read on to find out.

Clone Style

Taking some inspiration from the earlier cartoon series, Filoni

approached the characters as a 2-D animator would, "but stylized the face a little more. If you look at Anakin, he has certain edges and lines in his face. I would draw an edge or a line that might be unnaturally straight or curved, and that would play into the lighting of it. I tried to sculpt in 3-D the way I would draw or sculpt an image in 2-D, with shadow and light. I wanted it to look like a painting -- you see a textured, hand-painted style on every character. I have texture artists who literally paint every single character right down to their eyeball, because I wanted that human touch on everything."

Advances in computer animation have allowed Filoni to accomplish much more than he would have been able to in traditional 2-D. "For eight years I worked just with a pencil. I never touched a computer. But working with George, we try to look at computers as an incredibly advanced pencil. The technical side helps the creative, artistic side," he says.

Battles filled with huge numbers of soldiers can be rendered faster than ever before, but they still have to be created, along with every other prop and character in an enormous universe. "'Star Wars' is so complex in that you're building a whole galaxy. We go to many different planets," Filoni reminds. "So every rock, tree, blade of grass, native vehicle -- every asset -- needs design. We had to create a whole bunch of assets for each episode, and the budget goes up for each element you have. Once you build it, you have it, but we can't go to a different planet and have the same chair there," he laughs. "On a schedule where we need those things right away, it's difficult to get it all built."

Since "The Clone Wars" is chronologically sandwiched between "Clone Wars" and "Revenge of the Sith," it has been a mandate for the creators to stay consistent with the mythology. "That's probably one of the trickiest things," admits Filoni. "We always have to keep in mind what the characters are thinking and feeling at the beginning of this and at the end. You have a lot of room to play with when you're in the middle, but you have to remember what people say in the third movie. With characters like Obi-Wan or Anakin or Padme, I have to pay very careful attention that it will hook up. And then there's the expanded universe of "Star Wars" novels and video games. I try to be aware of it all and work it in, because fans really appreciate it."

Filoni hopes to attract existing fans and create new ones, especially among the younger generation, but admits doing the latter may be easier. "One thing we have that's different from any movie that came before is we're an animated series. But there's an instant reaction to the word animation that it's for kids. How you get around that is with the stories you tell. We'll have our snow battles and we'll also have our lighter 'Return of the Jedi' moments. Some episodes lean older, some younger. But in the end it has a broad appeal," he believes.

The recent "Clone Wars" movie (out on DVD Nov. 11 ) served as a stand-alone prequel to introduce the characters at this point in time. In contrast, "The series has its small arcs and shows you the war from across a broad spectrum of episodes. It's not just Anakin Skywalker's story," Filoni underlines. "We can go left or right of that plot and deal with characters we have never seen. There's a lot of material. It's a three-year period in the history of the 'Star Wars' Universe, and there are so many stories to tell. The longer it goes, the more chance we get to tell fascinating stories in that galaxy."

Character Study

"The Clone Wars" shows a different side of some of the film franchise's most iconic characters. "In a series, you can do a whole episode about a character and learn more about what they were like, which makes what happens to them a lot more poignant," explains Filoni. "We know Yoda is powerful, but how does that power develop? How does he use it? We get to go into more detail that you just couldn't do in the live action films, because they're mainly focused on Anakin."

While few of the actors from the live action movies agreed to reprise their roles in voice over for "The Clone Wars," Anthony Daniels, the original C-3PO, is the exception. "One of the special moments for me was hearing Anthony on the telephone, discussing C-3PO with me and his experiences. That really helps us round out the characters," says the director, who enjoyed similar input from Rob Coleman, the animation supervisor who worked on Yoda on the prequels.

Of the new characters not seen in the live action series, there's the alluring but venomous Asajj Ventress, a disciple of Count Dooku. "She is, of course, a villain, and fits into the structure of the Sith," Filoni elaborates. "Darth Sidious -- Senator Palpatine -- is the main bad guy, and his apprentice is Count Dooku. Dooku is training Ventress in the Dark Side. She's getting more powerful. I wanted to make her intelligent, deceptive and also kind of sexual. She's kind of a forbidden fruit -- Jedi are not supposed to get involved with the more lustful aspects of life. She adds another dynamic to the series."

On the other side of the good/evil coin is newcomer Ahsoka Tano, Anakin's teenage pad­awan, or apprentice. "She's Anakin's student and helps us see him as more of a hero," says Filoni. "Once he gets over his initial reaction, he takes pride in her. He's unpredictable and the Jedi know that, but he has compassion and that is used against him and it later brings him to the Dark Side."

Ahsoka was created, says Lucas, "Because I needed to mature Anakin. The best way to get somebody to become responsible and mature is to have them become a parent or a teacher. You have to think about what you're doing and set an example. You look at your behavior and the way you do things much differently. The idea was to use her to make Anakin become more mature. We've made her a more extreme version of what Anakin was- - a little out there, independent, vital and full of life, but even more so. He gets a little dose of his own medicine."

"She's been a really fun character to develop," adds Filoni, who likes Ahsoka but admits that his character tastes tend to run a bit more obscure -- his favorite is Plo Koon, "a bizarre Jedi Master. It's been fun to develop him and show his personality beyond the fact that he's bizarre looking and carries a lightsaber."

Fan Fare

Just three years ago, Filoni dressed up as Plo Koon to see an opening night showing of "Revenge of the Sith," so it's not surprising that the 34-year-old fan is still pinching himself that he has this job. "It's a very creative atmosphere," he says of Big Rock Ranch, where the lakeside setting is "meant to inspire us artistically and definitely does. A lot of the people I work with grew up with 'Star Wars,' so we have a great time. It's hard, intense work, but George is very engaged in what we're doing. What more could you ask for? I have the guy who created the 'Star Wars' universe excited and interested in what we're doing. We couldn't be happier about that."

Asked why he thinks "Star Wars" remains a fan favorite today, three decades later, Lucas says diversification is the key. "We were always able to deal with different aspects of the story in various forms and I think that keeps it alive. It is a lot of fun and it's a universe that has been created to inspire young people to exercise their imagination and inspire them to be creative, and I think that always works."

"The original 'Star Wars' had broad appeal to everybody, and it holds up so well," adds Filoni. "I think there's a timelessness to it, even though Luke looks like a kid from the '70s with that haircut. Luke is a farmer boy and Han is a cowboy. Jedi Knights are like the samurai of Japan or the knights of Europe. Those archetypes work the globe over. It's a world phenomenon that speaks to everyone. There will always be a character you can relate to."

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Anime That Deserve Another Season

Category One: Anime That Supposedly Deserve Another Season Even though the title says “deserve”,  I will be listing some anime that I do not think deserve another season. They’re just here because people are loud about not getting another season. These are mostly series I just didn’t enjoy watching. 

Category Two: Anime That Can Get Another Season They’re fine without another season as there are no cliffhangers to close and no questions that are really unanswered. These anime will not keep you up at night asking for an answer. 

Category Three: Anime That Need Another Season While it’s not mandatory that these anime have another season to be enjoyed, they’d sure benefit immensely with it. Whether it’s because there’s too many cliffhangers, things end abruptly, or there is just too much good source material that was left untouched, they’ll end up here. Even if I didn’t really enjoy the anime, some anime may end up here anyway.

Bonus Category: Anime Need a Reboot Not all adaptations are created equal, and even if the anime can be enjoyed on its own, sometimes it’d benefit from actually looking at the source material and going, “Oh, it was written that way for a reason!” Some anime just need the Brotherhood treatment. From pacing to anime-exclusive storylines, anime in this category stray so much that you might as well just start from the ground up.

*Please note that if an anime isn’t here, it might be because I haven’t watched it (or I bypassed it in my listing journey)

*Categories Two and One are listed from “Bottom Tier” to “Top Tier” in terms of how much I think it needs a sequel/continuation

*I almost never read the manga. These are mostly speculations/me spoiling the series for myself by reading the last chapter of the manga after finishing the anime.

*The bottom half of category three really rips my soul out when people say that there’s no chance of another season.

Category One: Anime That Supposedly Deserve Another Season

Aoharu x Machinegun

The manga is still on-going, but I wasn’t interested enough to really pay any mind. It would benefit from another season due to it ending on a point that made sense, but you could tell there was way more behind the curtain.

Btooom

Remember when they joked about this gross anime getting another season? Hahaha! There’s a story behind it, apparently. Anyway, it leaves off unfinished, but I don’t need any more of whatever this show was. This show is garbage, questionable garbage at that.

Ao Haru Ride

This anime made me kinda bored. The characters were kind of bland. The world was kind of bland. This anime left as much of an impression on me as white-coloured pencils did in grade school. I’m sure it’d benefit from another season, but whether that’d actually make me like the series is another question.

Code: Breaker

This series was pretty bad. I enjoyed it at the time, but it was pretty bad. I don’t recommend this show to anyone. It technically has a ton of manga material left (I think it was a 100+ chapters?)

Classroom of the Elite

I actually strongly disliked this show and wanted it to be over, but people said it got good. I stuck it out. I didn’t like any of the characters. I couldn’t find a reason to enjoy this show, and maybe it’d benefit by having some more story content to it, but if you can’t make me enjoy any of the cast after 12 episodes, you’re not getting any more of my time.

No Game No Life

Admit it, 90% of the people who want another season of this just want to see more fanservice.

Category Two: Anime That Can Get Another Season

Kyoukai no Rinne

This series is very repetitive. I’m surprised it survived three seasons. I still really liked it, but it is counted as one of Takahashi’s weakest works (not sure why though). I would mind seeing it receiving the rest of its adaptation.

Hai to Gensou no Grimgar

While it ended well, it probably has a lot more story to tell. This is an earlier isekai, and it’s hard to say whether it’d do better in today’s isekai market. This anime is what Sword Art Online should’ve been. This show takes it slow. Its action isn’t as over-the-top, and while it has fanservice, the show still feels far more real than SAO markets itself to be (but it does it on purpose)

Hinamatsuri

This anime made me laugh too hard for me not to want a continuation. They also had a character they didn’t have time to touch base on.

Runway de Waratte

There’s quite a lot of manga material to go on. I feel like we haven’t seen the characters develop to their max, and the protagonist hasn’t even gotten his full shot yet. This anime is an underdog, no matter how you look at it, it’s a shounen series about runway fashion, but I’m rooting for it!

Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo

I hear the manga goes downhill, and honestly, you could’ve just let it end right where season one ended, and I would’ve gone, “Wow, that was pretty good!” It did come back and “overstay its welcome” according to manga readers, but those final chapters make up for that.

Gakkougurashi

I respect the way that this anime decided to end, but there’s a lot of potential to take it elsewhere. It has a lot of material too. I feel like not a lot of the backstories of even the main cast were revealed.

Category Three: Anime That Need Another Season

Kimi to Boku

I had a hard time determining which category this anime should go under, but I think this category fits it best. The manga does pause sometimes. There are a lot of loose ends romance-wise, but it could’ve easily gone into the previous category.

D-Frag

This is a romance anime that didn’t really get to any of its romance. It hinted, it tried, but it stuck to the comedy route (which I respect). However, there is a lot of potential if this anime ever did want to return.

Hataraku Maou-Sama

This series really needs a season two. It was an isekai before its time, and it has a lot of comedy that made me laugh. There are romance ends that are left up, and the underlying background plot went virtually nowhere. It ended, and it makes the audience go, “That was good and enjoyable”, but it leaves nothing else.

Mob Psycho 100

I’m pretty sure this anime will get another season, but it will take some time. This series does have the popularity, and since it was quite recent, I think it’s just a matter of time. Studio Bones is far too thirsty to leave their man alone. Let’s be real.

Ranma ½

I think what bothers me the most about this one is the fact that they had the right number of episodes to finish the series, but because the manga was still publishing at the time, they had to use a lot of filler which ultimately took away from a lot of the series. The Ranma manga ending had about as closed of an ending that you can have for a series like Ranma. There are some arcs in there that I think would boost the story after a lot of those OVAs left an unsatisfied taste in people’s mouths. I didn’t even bother watching those.

Nisekoi

I’m not sure if I would want an adaptation if it were to happen because I don’t like the ending anyway. There is material there though if they wanted to, and I do think it’s a bit annoying if you focus so heavily on romance and harem then just don’t end it conclusively.

Grand Blue

According to someone I know, the manga gets good. This anime was really funny during some of the parts, so I really wouldn’t mind a continuation.

Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

This manga actually did end, and I feel like it’s really missing out by not finishing itself. Shoujo manga and other romance manga do rely on having the characters graduate, get together, etc. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun didn’t get that chance, and since the manga has a more conclusive ending, I think the anime should too.

Tsurezure Children

This anime focuses on everything so ends up with little progression in the long run. A lot of this is puppy love, but we never really move beyond that stage with the countless couples. I think this anime would greatly benefit with a continuation because it got so little done than series that focused on one couple. Focusing on multiple couples is part of this series’ charms though.

Yuri on Ice

I personally don’t feel a strong need for a season two, but I’m sure a lot of people would enjoy it because it has a large audience that are attached to these characters. They weren’t at their final stage yet.

Edit: They just announced a continuation called “Yuri!!! on Ice The Movie: Ice Adolescence”

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

The manga just hit a really pivotal point at the time that I’m writing this post, but the manga usually publishes monthly leaving it little room for successive seasons. Regardless, I feel that the series has more than enough popularity to carry it, and despite some of the real big corners that were cut during the making of the first season, people are still invested. I actually read the manga and can say that it has enough material for a second season.

Wotakoi

I actually read the manga for this series sometimes, and let me tell you, this series REALLY SHOULD GET a continuation. Sure, it’s sweet that you know who ends up with who, but this series is about “mature romance” (i.e. beyond high school). 12 episodes isn’t enough for this series. There’s so much awesome stuff that’s happened and is happening in the manga. 

Deadman Wonderland

This anime isn’t great by any means. It’s a gore fest. However, a lot of its plot holes and questions could’ve been answered if it went further in its source material. I’m not sure how much it would’ve made it make sense, but this anime is one of the ones here that really suffered from their lack of time to adapt the manga. Without some of the explanations, this series may little sense. I don’t really want another season simply because I didn’t really enjoy this anime, but I think I put it up here just because of how much it would benefit from a continuation. 

Ouran High School Host Club

Legend has it that every April Fool’s Day, someone goes on Twitter and announces season two. As much as we’d want that, Studio Bones is busy doing something to do with Bungou Stray Dogs or My Hero Academia. I already had to debunk a fake Ouran Season Two post for someone on Discord. I didn’t really enjoy the romance in Ouran (stayed for the comedy), so it would probably benefit from a continuation, even if it is a reboot. I mostly put this one here because of how much fans want it. Personally, I’d still be able to rest in peace either way. Regardless, it woudl still benefit immensely if they were to continue what they started.

Kekkaishi

This anime actually left 200+ chapters of manga untouched when it was adapting. I’m not sure of timelines and whether it was because of the manga publishing at the time that the anime was airing. Now that it’s a finished series in terms of manga, it can always get a reboot. It’s definitely worth it since it just finished on one arc.

Akatsuki no Yona

To me, Akatsuki no Yona was okay, but it could’ve been great... if they didn’t end on literally what the entire series was building up to. As a result of that, the anime really feels like a long manga advertisement going, “Wow, you sure are stupid for not reading the manga like the rest of us nerds!” The only reason why this series isn’t even higher on the list is because the other series did a better job cementing itself into a place in my heart. Akatsuki no Yona could’ve done that if they were given enough time, but alas, this series really suffers from a lack of anime adaptation.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

It is such a shame that this anime doesn’t have another season. The OVAs are great, but if this had another season or two, they would be legendary. The voice actors really added to the comedy (the manga is still funny, but it’s didn’t make me laugh as much as the anime). The quirky soundtrack really adds to the atmosphere, and there’s so much development that’s gone down since its first season run. I really, really, really want another season. But this anime can be enjoyed even if it doesn’t.

Gin no Saji

This anime is incredibly enjoyable even if it doesn’t have a third season, but with the manga tying up all the loose ends with Hiromu Arakawa’s incredible storytelling, I find it really disappointing that they couldn’t get another season for this. Its characters were so likeable. I watched this anime with my mom who keeps nattering about a season three. If only such a thing were to exist.

Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic

As with a lot of shounen anime, this ended on one arc. However, this still had well over 100+ chapters that could’ve been adapted in series to come. The seiyuu events were hilarious, and this anime really hit its stride, but it left us all hanging. Now that the manga’s finished, I feel that it would be really great if we were to get another season. There were some arcs that I read that were so good. This was the first anime I watched, and it always holds a special place in my soul. I do hear the manga goes downhill majorly towards the end, but I’m sure that even that stuff would still be watched by people like me (heck, people waited for Black Clover to get good, come on!)

This also includes the Sinbad spinoff that felt more like a trailer rather than a full series. It wasn’t given nearly enough time.

Noragami

Noragami is extremely popular, and I think one of the reasons that it didn’t get the rest adapted is because the manga went on hiatus for about a year. However, I feel that it still had more than enough material to make some more way. Studio Bones is still busy with Bungou Stray Dogs and My Hero Academia, but Noragami would benefit by cleaning up some of the cliffhangers left behind. The future arcs are also really good, so the source material at least maintains some quality.

SKET Dance

I finished this series (both anime and manga) a couple of days ago, and I want to write a post about it. It was so good. It made me read 100 chapters in two days or something. But if this were to get adapted, this would give the series a MAJOR CHANCE to fix up the ending. Unfortunately, the manga ending disappointed a lot of people (including me), so being able to maybe just give the people what they want (I don’t care if it’s cheesy). They left a good chunk of great, hilarious, and touching arcs that would be able to keep toe-to-toe with the fantastic series they’ve done up to this point. I think it might’ve stopped due to the anime catching up, but come on, I just want this anime to get equal treatment to Gintama!!! It gets compared so often anyway!!! Series like these make me think, “If I was Jeff Bezos, I would just throw my money into making another season of this.” The seiyuu of this anime made the lines so funny too. I will be thinking and talking about this series for a while. 

Anime that Deserve a Reboot

Soul Eater

They really just dropped the source material in the last half. 

No. 6

The pacing kind of sucked in comparison to other materials, apparently.

Kids on the Slope

The pacing for this also really sucked and didn’t give a conclusive ending either way.

[sugarandspice-games]

Okay, so I finally got through Saeran's good ending, I might go back and play the normal and other bad endings later if I feel like it, but as that was an emotional rollercoaster, I need some time to recover. But I'm going to put my full review under the cut.

Will I be releasing my rewrite outline at this point (though not really a rewrite, since I made it before the AE was ever released when I was drunk and salty at the lack of news)? I'm not sure. I wasn't 100% satisfied, but we'll call it a good 65% as I feel like there was more I liked than I hated. I'll leave that decision up to my dear readers, whether or not they want to see it. (Though there are only like... 8 of you here and I know you're probably here for Obey Me content and not MysMess)

I do plan on playing the Jumin Bad End DLC, but I may not liveblog it as I haven't really heard good things. This seems like another ploy for fanservice, but I do want to get more lore about Jumin's backstory, and honestly... I'm gay and want to see those sexy CGs. That being said... this is the last I will discuss the canon material on this blog, and it may be the last time I engage with the canon material (as I believe cheritz has announced that this is the finale anyway, and will no longer update the game). I will most likely continue to create fan content for it, as Sugar and I have our own sort of... fanfic thing going on with the characters and our OCs. But this is a personal and huge special interest of mine, and rather than go through everything and pick it apart for the rest of my days... I want to leave the game and the characters I love so much with only my happiest memories. They'll live on in my heart.

But I digress... here is my semi-condensed review. Sugar may talk about it as well, though I do not speak for them. THIS SHOULDN'T NEED TO BE SAID BUT HERE THERE BE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU DID NOT COMPLETE THE GOOD END OF RAY'S AE.

The Good:

Saeran. Saeran was the best thing about this route. His character development was beautiful, and every time I saw him, I felt my heart swell with pride and love. His new sprites are so adorable as well as his beautiful CGs, and he looks healthier and happier in a lot of them. He's grown to be such a loving, gorgeous, wonderful man despite everything that happened in his painful life, and his story is nothing short of inspirational. I have a lot of love for Saeran, I have from the moment I saw him but this route really drove it home for me. He will have a special place in my heart among my fictional loves that can never be replaced.

Jumin Jumin Jumin! Jumin was one of the absolute MVPs this route, he was doing the most and boy... I just want to hug him. Even though he was in horrendous pain he was doing the absolute best he could to help everyone. He's been a love of mine for a long time, and that love only grew in this route. I was also glad to meet Driver Kim and see the interaction between him and Daddy Han Sr. (Because obviously Juju is the junior Daddy Han lol)-- even though I have mixed feelings about the Chairman, it makes me happy to see Jumin getting the caring he deserves from his father. And the fact that he even turned his back to let Jumin express his emotions without feeling embarrassed... Fucking killed me.

They did Rika right this go around. Yes, she got off to a really rough start, but she was very human and bearable here... and complete with her realizing her wrongdoings and working to right them in the end. It was a gorgeous arc, I'm so happy for her. I have a love hate relationship with her character, as she used to be a very badly written villain IMO... but one of the good things about Another Story in general is that it gave her depth that she didn't have before. And if they wanted to redeem her, they 100% did it right here, even if she had a rough beginning and had to make mistakes to get to where she was. I thought it was very human. Good on you, cheritz.

Vanderwood got a lot of good interactions here, and I'm really happy they gave us more Van content. Even if we're not getting a route for him, it's enough to me to finally see him expressing the affection we all know that he holds for Saeyoung, and working to help him.

The twins finally get to be happy! Need I say more?

Everyone doing well in their lives made me really happy too... most of the other routes had this problem where if one person got to be happy, someone else would have to suffer in exchange. I'm so glad that everyone got a happy ending.

The new chats made me extra emotional... I'm not sure why, to be honest, I think I'm just happy to see everyone again. It had been such a long time since I played Mystic Messenger, and talking to everyone again just like old times felt like returning to a childhood home (though I was 19 when I discovered this game initially, haha). I cried a lot, which is extra weird for me since I don't tend to cry in general.

Yoosung loves Saeran soooo much... in fact, everyone does. It made me happy, bc I was initially worried that he wouldn't have made friends with the RFA or that it would be awkward, but seeing everyone loving him and him being sweet back to them was adorable. Jumin also loves him and you can't change my mind (though maybe that's my wishful thinking of being in a Jumin & Saeran sandwich talking...)

So many good messages in this AE, and they hit very personally. I came to the same realization last year, that in the end, nothing in life matters except love, since you can't take anything else with you when you die. I shan't elaborate more!

Everyone's voice acting was so good! It was so beautiful and emotional, I could feel it through their voices. I usually skip the voice lines since I read so fast, but I'm happy I didn't.

The Bad:

Oh Jihyun... what have they done to you? I know I said he wasn't OOC and I stand by that, but it really feels like the writers hated him this AE. Even his sprite looked so awful and blurry. And he didn't get any good realization that he deserved better or anything, the literal cult leader and prime fucking minister got to be redeemed when he didn't. What the actual fuck. Sugar will definitely have more to say about it, and probably in a more articulate way, but let it be known that I don't like it either.

Furthermore, even if it's not OOC, it's structurally sloppy for him to come to some realization only to stay the exact same as he's always been. And same with Rika too. As I said in a previous post, having them both go through these realizations only to make them the villains again really felt like beating a dead horse. What can I say except AAAAAAAAA. WHAT THE FUCK?

Again, I must reiterate... why'd they make it so you have to be a bitch to Rika to get the good ending? I get that it's probably wish fulfillment for some people in the fandom, but it isn't for me. I really don't have any desire to berate or insult her bc in the end she needs serious help (even if I wanted to throw hands with her sometimes), and if the point was to call her on her misbehavior... some of it went too far (looking @ the "Don't stab Saeran's eyes out!" choice. I didn't like that at all, especially since it felt like you were making fun of Jihyun's trauma.) It especially made the end of her arc fall flat when she's like "Thank you for being kind and trying to understand me..." like, gurl... the game didn't let me do that without making me bad end! Jeez.

Also, literally why was it necessary to redeem the prime minister? He's a monster who tried to murder his own children. It's okay if they needed that scene where Saeran and you tried to understand him, but having him actually come around made no sense... why would he want to listen to you or Saeran when we've seen time and time again that there isn't really any good in him? He's just not a good person. And no, I'm not saying this because I wanted him to die or anything! ...Okay, maybe I did. Fuck that guy. I hate him. (Also the whole "you're only this way because you're lonely!" was so corny, I didn't choose those options but gjkgkgkfk)

The Ugly:

Have y'all heard about how much I hate the agency Boss? I hate him so much... I want to drown him in the toilet. I want to feed him taco bell laced with laxatives. I want to-- anyway, I digress. Not classifying this under bad because cheritz did their job by making him hateable and oh boy, did I hate him. He made me want to barf. I also commend his voice actor for somehow making me feel greasy through the screen. Seriously, dude, hats off to you. You are a genius.

That's about all I have to say for now... you can peruse my talk tag if you want to see any of my other thoughts on this game, but they don't tie into the good and bad. Despite the flaws, I enjoyed myself this route and I'm happy I played it. Even though there will always be things to improve upon in this game... I'm happy I picked it up, and I'm happy I met everyone. I would write them all letters or something but that'd be kinda corny since they're just game characters and won't see it anyway, and I know I'm not the only nor am I the most attractive MC out there... so this is Spice, signing out! Byebye, Mystic Messenger. You'll always have a special place in my heart.

All of the... weird horniness between Rika and Saeran made me feel grossed out. Her having him in a collar with a leash, and the game options that insinuate she has a thing for him... ew ew ew. Please stop it. That shit is so disgusting and I'm going to puke.

@ Both Saeyoung and Saeran: stop fucking trying to die all the time! Seriously! Let me love you and want to save you, when will you get it through your thick skulls that one gay ass MC who loves you very very dearly would NEVER be happy if you died? AAAAAAAA

[kylejsugarman]

opinion on the 3d movies? they’re the only aatc content i’ve ever seen bc i’m a 2000s baby 😔

so my feelings on the live action/cgi movies are complex because like. that first movie is how i discovered aatc, i saw that movie and just fell in love with the chipmunks and counted down the days until the squeakquel came out because i was so excited to see the chipettes on the big screen. as a young kid, i really loved those movies and they’re absolutely the reason that i love alvin and the chipmunks so much today

but the movies Themselves......like okay i completely understand the decision to make the chipmunks like actual chipmunks, this was during the massive influx of live action/cgi movies where “x cartoon character enters the REAL world” so that isn’t a problem. their designs aren’t perfect (their mouths creep me out a little??) and i don’t like how they translated the chipettes to 3D but the designs are not a huge problem, they did a fine job with tweaking the models so that each chipmunk has unique facial features/fur markings that reflect their character

the real problem is just the characterization. im not going to penalize the movies for being immature because like they are aimed at kids and im someone who has a huge aversion to toilet humor/immature humor so i can't judge impartially on that frontier and there’s at least one or two legitimately funny jokes in each movie. jason lee is just an awful dave: he comes off SO uninvested and annoyed in every scene. the movie shows him doing fatherly things like helping the boys decorate for christmas and making them dinner, but this is always accompanied by like a visible reluctance and irritation that is so not dave. he doesn’t even legally adopt them until the FOURTH movie (which, granted, is a sweet scene but seems so odd to do after four whole movies and dave still acting like he doesn’t care that much about them). in every other iteration, dave has no hesitations about taking in the chipmunks and being their father, even when they drive him crazy. its so hard to buy that live action dave actually cares about the chipmunks when every scene tells us otherwise

as for the chipmunks and chipettes themselves....the chipettes are given so little depth, the fact that their most-remembered scene is just them mooning over the chipmunks and talking about how cute they are speaks volumes. i mean they were basically written out of the fourth movie. its obvious the writers wanted to include the chipettes to appeal to female demographics and please fans who like them, then realized they had no use for them and gave them only the most basic of character traits and arcs. its nice that jeanette got a little focus in the third one, but her story was literally built entirely around simon’s story which again. speaks volumes that the chipettes are basically here to fill dead air and serve the chipmunks

as for the chipmunks themselves, i don’t have like a huge problem?? their characterization is a little uneven because they have to still be able to like do funny modern pop songs and crazy things for the trailers. it drives me crazy that they get sent to high school in the second movie when they are so clearly written to be elementary school-aged kids just like the previous iterations. theodore’s the biggest victim of personality generalization, especially in the sequels where he basically exists to be The Baby of the family (him being the heart of thee brothers is actually depicted quite nicely in the first one). simon’s sarcasm is written pretty well, as is his responsible nature, but you lose some of his protective instincts and for some reason a lot of his true intellect?? alvin basically exists to be the franchise mascot, so he doesn’t get to develop in like any way and is always crazy, scheming alvin without much nuance (although they try to have some depth to his character in the third movie, only to immediately backtrack on it and reset the status quo). 

i won’t act like aatc is this sacred property that the cgi movies desecrated with childish, gross-out humor that isn’t characteristic of the franchise at all because again, these are movies for kids made during an era where that kind of base-level immaturity was en vogue. but i do think its a shame that they are so formulaic in terms of plot and sacrifice so much character in service of pop songs and Crazy set pieces (also i don’t like the weird sexualization of the chipettes through their single ladies choreography, the “whip my tail” sequence, just a whole lot of their choreography and actions) and of all the aatc iterations, they’re definitely my least favorite and i think their popularity set back the direction of the franchise 

[mannatea]

Hi. I used to follow your old blog on a different account. Hope you're doing well. Do you have any tips on thinking up stories that are *not* dark and depressing due to subject material? The last story I was working on I had to quit because the backstory I was developing for my passive male character was super depressing. At times I enjoyed researching it, though what won out was the thought I was wasting my time looking into angsty things for something I wasn't even planning to publish. Now I want to write something a little happier. But I have the most experience in writing angst and cringe comedy 😅 thanks for any help you can give. Stay safe out there!

By the way, good on you for dropping that manga you used to follow. I was happy most of the characters lived, but other than that, it felt "meh" to me (granted, I didn't read all the way from the beginning). The author was probably going for a "people will always be fighting each other" theme, but some of the imagery of what happened after a time skip could definitely be taken as pro-fascist. And I was disappointed the protagonist basically said he wanted to bring about destruction! I'm glad I didn't spend any money to read it.

Wow, hi! I’m doing all right, thanks for asking. I hope you’re doing all right, too. :)

As far as “that manga” goes, I’ve kept tabs on it. I’ve been on the fringes for the last two-ish years; I dedicated something like four real life years to that fandom and mostly had a good time while I was there (made some friends I hope to keep for life), so it was one of those situations where I just had to find out how it ended. I realized at some point that I was in a very negative space in the fandom, and felt it was better to publicly drop the series and the blog associated with all of my meta/discussion than to play in what had become a toxic pool for me. I didn’t really want to drop the account after my time there, but I couldn’t have dealt with the nonstop questions/messages/etc that would have piled in over the years, and eh, when you’re done you’re done. I criticize Hallmark television for fun, now, instead. It’s a lot less stressful! And literally nothing is That Deep so there’s very few delusions, at least on the Tumblr side of things. (Reddit, however, is insane, but I don’t post in the fandom there.)

As far as writing advice goes, I am going to apologize in advance for muddled thoughts. I just got out of work and have been staring at numbers all day, so it’s hard for me to think lmaoo.

In my opinion, any sort of character or personality type/flaw/whatever could have developed via a negative OR positive influence/catalyst, so that’s something to consider. I also think people tend to reach for “sad” or “traumatic” pasts either as a way to cope with their own issues/pasts/whatevers, or because it’s the “easy explanation” for why a character is the way they are.

If you WANT to write things a certain way, it’s sometimes a matter of changing the lens through which you’re viewing life, the story, the characters, or character writing in general. This is never easy, especially when you find a genre you feel comfortable in, but it’s always possible. When I was in college and submitted an autobiographical piece (Rot Tooth) for a creative writing final, I received multiple comments from classmates and even the professor that my talent/skill was in writing comedy. COMEDY!!!! I don’t think anyone who has read my writing from the last decade would say that I was a comedy writer. I stopped labeling ‘fics as humor/romance so long ago I can’t even remember when it was. But boom. I had written a comedy piece.

I don’t think I can ignore that most of the comedic elements in Rot Tooth were brought about because humor is one of the ways in which I cope with things, but it was also a very conscious choice I made. I wanted people to be able to engage with the story without being grossed out, without getting bored, without feeling that it was a poor-pathetic-me story, and humor was the classiest way to do it. Here, read this long story that includes journal entries from Ye Olde Livejournal days, but it will make you laugh often enough that the depressing aspects of the story don’t weigh it down too much! It was probably the only way to make the subject matter widely palatable. 

As often as I joke about characters or scenes or moments that “just write themselves” the author does have control. I mostly write fanfiction, so let’s go with examples from that.

I’m (very slowly) working on a ‘fic called Three Years which features a character who, when last seen, was headed off to serve a prison sentence. They haven’t been on the show for three years and thus I assume they have been serving that sentence for the last three years. The story starts when this character is released from prison. They are a woman. This is a historical piece of fiction. Prisons were vile to women and yet...this is fiction. I have a choice. I get to choose. Does she get to start her life off carrying 25 bags of trauma or just 2? It would be unreasonable to expect that someone, especially a woman, who was imprisoned for 3 years in the early 1900s wouldn’t have some issues (at the very least, the isolation would have been awful), but it doesn’t really have to be much worse than that. It doesn’t.

I have the power to choose.

A character has anger issues. Sure, he could have had a traumatic past with an abusive parent who took his anger out on him or his mom or whatever...or maybe it is an inherited personality trait and the parent figure with the problem was never really That Bad about it, but seeing it normalized makes it harder for the character in question to realize it’s a huge problem and part of their character arc is realizing they need to get help, not because they don’t want to be like their dad, and not because they hate their dad, but because they just want to be a better person/they don’t want to let that struggle consume them.

Someone’s sweetheart goes off to war. Guess what? They don’t have to die there to force a traumatic past. They don’t have to come back a raging alcoholic either. Maybe the time apart, and the time fighting a war just puts a natural sort of crack in the relationship by making it clearer to each character what they want in life/what matters to them in their life.

A character is super passionate about their work/hobby. Maybe they have ADHD and it’s a hyperfixation. Maybe they’re autistic and it’s a Special Interest. It doesn’t have to be “their parents ignored them and forced them to be alone all the time and they used this thing to cope so it means everything to them because it’s always been there.”

Maybe you have a character whose greatest fear is losing the people they love. It doesn’t have to be because a pet died in their arms when they were four and it traumatized them. It doesn’t have to be because they only have one person they love in the whole world. It can just be a thing because that’s a valid fear literally anyone can reasonably have, and maybe it’s a bigger deal because they don’t have siblings or aren’t close to many people! (And the “aren’t close to many people” thing doesn’t have to stem from trauma, either. Most busy adults for example who get to choose their friends, are just like that.)

A perfectionist might just have the personality type; it doesn’t mean their parents criticized everything they ever did. A person with three failed marriages might hesitate to fall in love and try again but it doesn’t have to be because those three failed marriages were abusive. A quiet character may just be shy or introverted by nature. 

I think everyone carries some kind of trauma with them, so it’s never unreasonable to have some in a person’s past (you can’t write an ugly character without having to think about the fact that they carry some trauma from what it’s like to grow up ugly), but it doesn’t have to define them. It doesn’t have to overshadow everything else in their past.

You can always ask yourself, “Why am I reaching for angst every time I create a backstory?” Literally everyone has some kind of angst. Most kids were hurt by things said to them in school, for example, or made fun of for some reason. Most people did something extremely embarrassing as a kid and never got over it. There are a thousand little moments in our adult lives that go back to these little points—you might call them the tiny traumas. But they’re not defining. They’re not so heavy they also live in the present. Not all of them.

Why do you reach for the darkest corner? Why not for the light? Or a middle ground?

I encourage people to write basically whatever floats their boat, but it sounds like you’re at a point where you just feel weighed down by that sort of stuff, and that’s not a great way to feel, especially when it discourages you from working on a project entirely.

My final suggestion: look at some of your favorite characters from various types of media. Are they all traumatized? What are their defining characteristics? Black Beauty has some depressing stuff in it, but is ultimately a story with a happy ending. Pride and Prejudice has drama, but nobody’s past is filled with the darkest stuff imaginable. North and South has awful things to consider in it (cotton mills were sooo awful) but the characters are not wildly traumatized people.

What kind of story are you trying to tell? Do the characters need to be traumatized to tell it? Does the story have to be dark to get across the message you want to send? 

Way back in the day, when I was into “that manga” I made an RP blog for a one-off character that nobody gave a damn about. Like, he was so one-off that even back in those days nobody even remembered him having existed. It was sort of a joke RP blog that wasn’t supposed to be serious. The only canon information we had about this character was that he enjoyed drinking. I decided to make him a lighthearted character because the series was pretty dark and I wanted to send people hilarious starters instead of wading through the muck of depression with everyone else’s sad, abused characters. I decided his family was old money and he had a brother. Nothing super traumatizing in his past. Some family issues but not the sort of thing that would haunt anyone. He was not traumatized in his recent past any more than other characters were. Mostly just “a regular guy.” I really loved RPing him. He was fun! The story could get heavy but he didn’t have to be.

Anyway, dive head-first into the dark angst if you want, but if it’s not necessary to tell the story you want to tell, just remember you don’t have to go there. You have the choice.

[ty-talks-comics]

The Boys Season 1 Review and Comparison

This was so cathartic.

In an age where we’re inundated with superhero media on all fronts with their bright colors, cheery jokes and positive outlooks, it’s easy to slowly become sick of it, feel the “superhero fatigue” as it were. Where Marvel ruins some stories with far too many jokes (looking at you Thor: Ragnarok) and DC is far too dreary and serious for its own good with a lack of levity, where can one turn to for a GOOD happy medium?

Well, in comes Seth Rogan and Evan Gold, the brilliant minds behind the amazing adaptation of Preacher with yet another brutal and slightly more cynical series. The Boys absolutely stuns not only by being a genuinely compelling series, but also by being one of the few adaptations that improves on the original medium in a few aspects.

Story

The story centers around Hughie Campbell and the titular Boys as they work to expose the horrific deeds of The Seven, a collective of the world's greatest superheroes, and the company that sponsors them, Vought American.

In this world, superheroes are everywhere. They're on breakfast cereals, TV shows, movies, pretty much every piece of media and entertainment imaginable while also protecting America from crime. Sounds familiar, huh? The kicker here is that, much like every asshole celebrity that lets the fame and fortune go to their heads, these heroes are massive cunts. They take performance enhancing drugs, routinely cause accidents that hurt or kill people, sexually harass people left and right and just lie to their adoring public like they’re children.

Unlike the books, however, The Boys team isn’t the well oiled machine that’s been taking down and blackmailing superheroes for years and the first four episodes are spent introducing the different team members.This is likely due to wanting to give people time to care about them individually and the limited number of episodes in the season. This definitely works in also retooling the characters themselves for TV since they may not have seventy-two issues of character development ahead of them

For the most part, the show follows the initial story beats of the comics with a few select differences before splintering off in an entirely new direction. Hughie’s girlfriend still gets blown apart by A-Train, he denies Vought America’s hush money which draws the attention of Billy Butcher and Starlight joins the Seven after the “death” of the hero Lamplighter. 

This also means that there's less time to focus on smaller plotlines and teams that are referenced to in passing dialogue like the Teenage Kix, a pastiche on the Teen Titans, or Payback, the number two group of superheroes to The Seven. While seeing the team take these guys down on the small screen would have been fun, I like the idea of keeping the plot focused on just the core group of antagonists. This way, we don’t have to slog through three or four seasons of small fry and get the big bads in the last few.

After the first half, fans of the comic may start to feel a little bit of the familiar, but then things start to take a drastic turn when Billy's pride and the rest of the teams sloppiness gets them all burned and branded wanted criminals. This never happens in the books because The Boys are funded and protected by the CIA, but here they’re just another group of concerned citizens that are completely in over their heads, adding to the tension and keeping everyone guessing as to what will happen for the rest of the season and in Season 2.

Themes

The original series was written during the latter years of the Bush Administration. Tensions were high and America was still embroiled in the Iraq War. The president was a simpering fool and companies were fucking people over left and right in the name of patriotism. Reality TV and the awful personalities on our screens were on nearly every channel and all of this only fueled the anger that is Garth Ennis’ pen and Darick Robertson’s pencils. It was a product of its time and it was perfect.

We’re now in the Information Age where superheroes and social media are the only things that matter in everyone’s mind, where women’s empowerment is stronger than ever and our leaders speak bombastically with shit eating grins full of lies. Rogen and Goldberg have kept the series modern and take everything to task.

Media. Marvel and DC are everywhere nowadays with some indie companies managing to scrape up their own part of the pie. The Boys makes fun of the seemingly endless cycle of sequels and the goody-two-shoes images of America’s favorite heroes. Everything is carefully managed and curated by a media team, similar to how Disney micromanages even the smallest details of their properties to make everything so sickeningly squeaky clean. 

Not only do the heroes stop crime, but they star in their own movies about themselves as well, some have sponsorships for shoes and have to compete with each other for everything. Almost everything is done for the cameras, even intimate moments whenever Vought can find a way to make it work. The heroes are never too far from the spotlight even when they want to be and oftentimes their acts can go viral without them knowing.

Sexual Assault. In the comics, Starlight is sexually assaulted by Homelander, Black Noir and A-Train in a gross scene to establish that there’s nothing good in that world. It was good for its time in its own dark way, but today there are absolutely consequences to such things as there should have been back then. In the show, Starlight is assaulted by The Deep, her childhood crush, alone. 

It’s dark and makes use of the imbalance of power as The Deep threatens to have her kicked off of the team. Soon after, Starlight comes forward with what happens to her, not allowing herself to let what happened stand and unlike in the books, The Deep gets his comeuppance. Though this also unfortunately leading to him getting assaulted as well. It’s powerful and allows for Starlight to move what could have been an image of weakness, though Vought uses this to their advantage as well, painting her a feminist icon. Best for business right?

Politics. While not everything has to be an allegory for Trump, it’s hard to say that Homelander isn’t just that. He’s what the president thinks he is, a strong, blonde haired man that the entire country loves. Homelander has the people eating out of the palm of his hands and he’s only feeding them shit. He hates the common man and will just as easily let many die if it can somehow serve his interests. He’s not above a little sexual harassment himself and he is just an evil bastard.

There’s also a subplot of military application of superheroes that I feel mirrors the discussion on the use of drones in war. Drones are absolutely deadly and have caused the deaths of hundreds, even innocents when things have gone really wrong. Even President Obama was criticized for how reckless and dangerous their use could be. The world could only imagine the hell that would rain down if superheroes were allowed to duke it out over national security.

Characters

The Boys as a comic series was an unrepentantly cynical take on the superhero genre in an established universe of heroes. The creator, Garth Ennis, didn’t grow up with many superheroes and actually felt disrespected by a few of them, like Captain America. He brought on the amazing Darick Robertson and other artists to realize this horrid world of drugs, hardcore sex and brutal violence. Many of the stories are fun and hilarious, but with the unfortunate feeling of a lot of them feeling one note due to the one dimensional nature of a lot of the “heroes” and the ever escalating level of black humor to the point of being cartoonish.

Our main character cast is absolutely fantastic. Jack Quiad’s Hughie is much like his comic counterpart, aside from being like six feet tall and not Scottish. He’s surprisingly smart with a lot of awkwardness about him. He has a good heart and doesn’t see ALL superheroes as being evil, but does have a slight sense of justice that wants to see The Seven and Vought taken down. 

Karl Urban’s Butcher was the absolute perfect casting choice. He’s got that wry British wit, the fury to capture Butcher’s rage against supes and can play a manipulator like nobody's business. His character arc is one of the few regressions that I can actually appreciate for how it's done, especially as things become more fucked because of him and how he chooses to blame everyone else.

Everyone else is a slight bit of an improvement over the comics versions. The Frenchman, played by Tomer Capon, is similar to his comics counterpart, but we’re given reason to care about him and The Female. In the comics, Frenchie and the Female knew each other prior, but I don’t think it’s ever revealed how they met or became close. In the show Frenchie frees The Female, played by Karen Fukuhara, from thugs that had been keeping her prisoner and he slowly gains her trust over the course of the next few episodes after her introduction. We see their friendship grow, learn a little bit of her backstory and get a better understanding of what she wants versus just following Frenchie around and being terrifyingly adorable.

Annie January aka Starlight, played by Erin Moriarty, is probably the second best change in character in the series. She starts out as a bright eyed, bushy tailed hero looking to do good, but after being sexually assaulted on her first day in The Seven, decides that it will never happen again. In the comics, Annie stays around in The Seven and takes the abuse for a little while before speaking out and fighting back against the rest of them. What makes things even better, not only does she challenge her uber Christian beliefs during an event sponsored by Vought, but she does so while also getting Vought to force her abuser into giving a public apology at the mere thought of her causing their stock prices to crash.

Consequently, Mother’s Milk, portrayed by Laz Alonso, one of the most layered characters in the comics isn’t made better, but the more ridiculous aspects of is character have been toned down. We don’t hear of his disabled mother and his addiction to her breast milk that fuels his own superpowers, nor is his wife a crack addict that makes pornos with their daughter. He’s simply a reliable member of the team that loves his wife and will give Butcher the truth when he’s acting like an asshole.

The series actually brings a lot of grey to most of these characters. A-Train never once shows remorse for his actions in the books, but in the show he's painted as kind of sympathetic, while still being seen as a monster for what he does and the reasons behind them. The Deep could go either way after his actions with a redemption arc or a full turn to villain, but is shown to be knowingly aware of how little regard there is for him. He calls himself a "diversity hire" and acknowledges his own ineptitude, but he's still an absolutely terrible person.

Queen Maeve may be one of my favorite changes that manages to be even more sympathetic than her already pretty great comic counterpart. She, much like Starlight, did want to change the world, but she let the apathy and jaded nature of the job take her over. She's an alcoholic that sees a bit of herself in Starlight. The change comes in how she reacts to what I think might be Homelander's most heinous act in the show. She shows far more remorse and guilt over what happens than she does in the comic, showing us a side of her makes you want to root for her and to see her get better.

The best character… dear Lord, is Homelander, played by Anthony Starr. Homelander is a bastard. The worst thing imaginable because of his sheer strength and power. He’s a sociopath with all of the powers of Superman and none of the goodness. In the comics he’s simply just another asshole. 

He’s the most powerful of the Seven and absolutely revels in the hedonistic lifestyle that he’s accustomed to while also hating being under the rule of Vought. In the show, he’s shown as being supportive to Vought, especially it’s current Senior VP of Hero Management, Madelyn Stillwell. He has something of a mommy fetish as shown with his interactions with her and later in the series actually expresses emotions over learning of his own tragedies, but instead of trying to change for the better, he doubles down on his hatred and anger to become an even bigger monster than before. 

In the comic he just wants all of the superheroes to conquer the world, but here, he just wants to hurt everyone who hurts him. He plays games like a child, threatening and revealing secrets to toy with people before absolutely breaking them. He's horrible in a very personal way and his sneering smile only makes him so much more hateable. He knows there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop him and he revels in that fact, I love it.

Pacing and Direction

Coming in at an hour for each episode, the first two to three can feel a bit slow. Getting all of the story elements to sit just right can take time, especially as new things are introduced every few minutes. This slow burn approach easily helps to build the tension before things get really crazy by episode four. By that point, the story is unfolding at a perfect rhythm, the team is mostly together, they’ve made their plans of action and it’s all so smooth.

Thankfully each episode is directed by different people to avoid each feeling so similar. The common humor and tone is kept the same, but some episodes are very hopeful almost before being met with one that absolutely makes you hate certain characters and the actions that they take. In particular, the episode where Hughie and Butcher visit a group therapy session and Butcher flies off into a rage about the weakness of the attendees as they basically lick the balls of the heroes that have maimed them was amazing. The director pulls so much emotion out of that scene and continues on as the episode moves along in a far more dramatic fashion than some of the others.

Some others lean heavier on the debauchery such as the episode where Hughie and Butcher venture into a superhero sex club and watch as these guys do some pretty amazing feats with their abilities in some really gross ways. There’s a good balance of levity and drama that makes neither feel too overwhelming.

Overall

With a great cast, impeccable acting and an unpredictability that I actually enjoyed, The Boys absolutely blew me away. I was wholly prepared to rip it apart if I felt like it didn’t do the story justice, but Rogen and Goldberg are fans and knew what we all wanted. It’s unabashedly a comic book show, but still has enough to it that people who have never heard of the series will be floored by how much they can find to enjoy.

It’s for the nihilistic and jaded comic book fan. It’s for the casual watcher who’s gotten enough of Marvel’s colorful displays of happiness and it’s absolutely for the happy person who just wants to have some fun with what they watch. 

I thoroughly enjoyed this season of The Boys. So much so that I’m aching with anticipation to re-read the comic series in preparation for Season Two. It’s unlikely that it’ll follow the plot much, if at all after the ending, but with Stormfront (as a woman) being announced as the new Hero joining the Seven in the next season, I’m excited as to who else they might pull. This first season absolutely earns a high recommendation from me.

[spaceorphan18]

SpaceOrphan vs Glee Season 3

for @yesandmusicals who wanted to know

Yes, let’s talk about my dislike of season 3, because that’s always fun!

So, first of all, I want to say for the record, I actually don’t believe Glee was ever that well written.  I’m not one to bash RIB (though I have issues with them), but I think the novelty of the show, coupled with the great music, good performances from the cast, and some fun things within production, made this show memorable.  And, in the beginning, it had Jane Lynch delivering some dark and edgy comedy, which people were fascinated by.  

But were season 1′s plotlines all that good?  There’s a fake baby, and standard teen drama, and Will going through some kind of weird mid-life crises at 29, and most of the interesting characters were really in the background for most of season 1. 

And then season 2 happened and... I don’t think it’s that great?  You’ll have to forgive me - cause I’m a Kurt/(Blaine)/Klaine fan - and I do think Kurt’s story in the first two seasons is best this show ever is as a whole, but I think a lot of season 2 was a mess, and kind of coasted on being popular.    Season 2 became big and flashy and everyone loved it until they didn’t anymore.  The show really had a quick shelf life, and looking back, it’s kind of surprising the show made it all the way to six seasons.  

(I actually really enjoy season 4-6, so I’m glad they stuck it out.)

Anyway -- by the time season 3 came around, the burnout was real, and they brought in new writers (who I don’t think helped much) -- and the show was now trying to service so many characters that most of the (terrible) plot lines they had were stretched way too thin -- with the exception of the Finchel story line that went in circles cause they were waiting for the inevitable conclusion to happen in season 4.  

To be more concise, though, here is a list of reasons why season 3 is my least favorite:

The aforementioned big cast of characters who got episodes devoted to them instead of the long arcs that seasons 1 and 2 gave the characters.  This made the season feel disjointed and messy, and no one got a satisfactory amount of screen time.  

On top of that -- they were backed into dealing with The Glee Project, and while Unique and (arguably) Joe were decent characters, Rory was not. He felt like the most pointless character to ever waste time on.

The season is broken up into three segments (1-8; 9-14; 15-22; sectionals, regionals, and nationals) and while this structure is all fine and dandy on paper, the plot lines for the first and third segments were terrible.  (I don’t necessarily mind episodes 9-18 plus The First Time, but the beginning and the end of this season just kinda sucked.)

In the first third -- we have possibly the worst story lines of the series.  I don’t think Santana’s coming out was done very well.  No one cared about Sue and Beiste in a love triangle.  The student elections just were weird.  And then there was Shelby and Puck -- and I can’t say how much I HATE that story line, because it leads to some of the worst moments the show has.  People often don’t even think about Puck that much, so this isn’t talked about very often -- but even beyond the grossness of a teacher/student relationship, how Puck treats her is truly one of the most disgusting displays of a relationship on this show.

There was the issue that they literally did not know what to do with Quinn so they made her crazy, and then hit her with a truck.  I’m not even a Quinn fan but, good god.  

The last third was marred by the fact that Rachel Berry was given everything on a silver platter and I wasn’t here for the -- give Rachel everything show.  I don’t hate Rachel, she was a great character in season 1.  She’s a great character later on in the series.  But the writing around her character, especially at the expense of many other characters, became grating -- especially in episodes like Promasaurus and Props.

One of the by products of season 2 was that Hummelberry became a thing, and instead of understanding that Kurt worked just fine as his own character, they now had to tie Kurt in with Rachel, their stories became paralleled, her issues became his issues, and he became her emotional prop of a sidekick.  

Which also made Finchel and Klaine stories become paralleled a lot (glee loves parallels, and it used to parallel Wemma with Finchel - which makes more sense, tbh.) 

Because Kurt was relegated to sidekick for Rachel, Blaine ended up being relegated jukebox singer, with little to no development outside his one episode and the rare Klaine story line.  

I think they mishandled some of the bigger social commentary stories.  The Kurt/Bullying storyline resonated with a lot of people, so suddenly Glee felt the need to go address all the issues facing (young?) people and it ended up doing a 180 from its darker roots.  And thus we get an awkward Santana coming out story that focuses more on Finn; Karofsky’s suicide attempt in a tonally disjointed episode, and Beiste’s spousal abuse story line - which is... what?  

Also, let’s not forget that Sue being pregnant for half the season is indeed a story line.  

The competitions I think were pretty bland, since it was already telegraphed that they were going to win Nationals because they lost the year before -- and half the cast is graduating.  The show outgrew it’s original premise of underdogs trying to win a competition, and while the writers clearly needed these posts for their structure, the character arcs were far more interesting than the weak aspect of competition. 

And then, of course, the whole issue with the Tongue Tied scene during Nationals, which yes does annoy me about the lack of Klaine kiss (the fact that the writers didn’t even think that Kurt and Blaine should celebrate together tells me that it’s more than just censorship) but more so the fact that Emma gives her virginity away as trophy for Will that disgusts me more. 

As for the censorship thing, while I think there might have been some, I think it’s more so that the writers couldn’t focus on any one character for any length of time, and Klaine in the background was not Tike in the background.  And in comparison, when Finchel is getting all the foreground, fighting for scraps made it difficult to watch everything else.  Not helping is the fact that Darren was doing movies and musicals, and wasn’t around for a bit that also added to lack of screen time.  

Oh, and Finchel had an argument over chairs.  I don’t actually hate the scene, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it.  

Did I forget anything? 

And I know, I know - damn, S.O. that’s a lot.  Believe it or not, there are some good things (COOPER!) about season 3, I don’t hate it to the point where I can’t watch it or anything, and all the rest of the seasons have a ton of flaws as well, but unlike every other season, the high points don’t outweigh the “meh”-ness that this season unfortunately suffers from, hence me liking it the least. 

...and now you know the rest of the story.  

[elenathehun]

Watching the Clone Wars, part 7

Well, this is a better batch of episodes than last time, solely due to not having to actually skip an episode because it was too awful to watch.  With that said, click on keep reading to see reviews of "Brain Invaders", "Grievous Intrigue", "The Deserter", "Lightsaber Lost", "The Mandalore Plot", "Voyage of Temptation", and "Duchess of Mandalore".

"Brain Invaders" (2x08)

I'd rate this as above-average.  I am not really into horror as a genre, as I previously noted, so I was pretty grossed out by the brain worms.  However, it was a pretty nice Ahsoka and Barriss episode, although I think it's a bit weird that four Jedi Knights/Masters are necessary to interrogate Poggle. 

Anyway, it's not an episode of The Clone Wars without some unexpected graphic clone violence.  I don't blame Ahsoka or Barris for killing poor Trap - I even think this was well-written and conveyed the desperation of their situation well - but good god, it was startling.  Also tense: that final approach to the medical station.

Not good: Kit Fisto entering a ship that's infested with brain worms with no PPE.  C'mon, man, I know your headtails are majestic, but keep it covered up!  Also not super great: Anakin and Ahsoka's little talk at then end.  A lot of their interaction just feels forced.  I honestly feel like this should have been a dialogue of some kind between Ahsoka and Barriss.

"Grievous Intrigue" (2x09)

Sort of a meh episode.  I understand Eeth Koth is a bit of a bad-ass in the comics, and that does sort of carry over in this episode, but mostly it just seems like a vehicle for various Jedi Masters to quip while crossing blades with this somewhat delightful murder-cyborg.  Obi-Wan gives a furious monologue to Grievous, which rings a bit hollow since the clone army has had precious little screen-time (at least relatively speaking) to exhibit their loyalty or spirit.

Shout-out to Cody and those 212th soldiers dog-piling Grievous.  If only you'd had a lightsaber, Cody, you probably could have killed him right then and there.  And if the writers let you and your fellows out of the background more often, Obi-Wan's speech would have rung more true at the time this episode aired.

"The Deserter" (2x10)

I struggled with accurately summarizing why this episode left me cold.  After all, the focus is split between Rex and the pursuit of Grievous, and I love most of the clone-centric episodes I've seen thus far.  But after some thought, I realized this episode felt like the culmination of a character arc that never actually occurred for Rex, at least on-screen.  After all, this episode is only the third time he's been promoted to something more than the token Clone Character Who Doesn't Die At The End - the previous two episodes I thought were legitimately Rex-centric were Season One's "Rookies" and "The Hidden Enemy".  We still barely know the guy, but in this episode we watch him wrestle with doubt about his role and reason for existence when faced with a fellow clone who's made radically different choices than he has, before triumphantly stating his place is with the army.  This feels like it would be a great episode, if only we were more attached to the character. Writers have to build-up to those kind of moments, or they ring false.

Anyway, is it just me or is Obi-Wan getting a little angry in this episode?

"Lightsaber Lost" (2x11)

I wasn't expecting much from this episode, but it was actually very good.  Aside from the annoying Cad Bane arc at the beginning of the season, the Ahsoka episodes have been improving a lot this season - possibly because she's been separated from Anakin for a lot of them.  Losing a lightsaber feels like the sort of problem a Padawan might face, and the solution feels like the sort of thing an impatient teenager would resort to.  Tera Sinube is a gem - I am always a sucker for the elderly teaching the next generation, and he does it so well!  The animation was well done too, especially in the chase scenes. 

I've been ragging on TCW for it's lack of interconnectivity between episodes and episode arcs, but this is a stand-alone episode done right: it focuses on what a secondary character (yes, I know she's supposed to be a main character, but she doesn't feel like it quite yet), allows them to learn a lesson that develops their characters in an organic way, and reverberates through future episodes (I hope!).

"The Mandalore Plot", "Voyage of Temptation", and "Duchess of Mandalore" (2x12 -2x14)

Oof.  So, this was the arc that actually made me quit watching TCW the first time around.  I am very lukewarm on Mandalorians in general, so that wasn't great.  But aside from that, and from the well-attested issue of everyone on Mandalore looking like a Storm Front fantasy, this arc exhibits the same structural writing defects the entire show has shown far - and honestly, life is too short to watch bad TV.  At this point, I know this main issue will never be corrected in the entire show run, so I can accept it and push through in the name of completionism and writing research, but at the time I wasn't active in fandom and it was enormously easy to just stop watching and move onto other, better, shows and books.

Now, I thought long and hard about how to review these episodes, but I think it's useful in this case to interview them as a singular block instead of individual episodes.  The story is largely cohesive, if a bit strained. It is essentially Palpatine's PT plot writ small: he wants to take over Mandalore (a reason is never really explicated in the actual story, so who knows why), and he's doing it by essentially creating a false war between the CIS proxies, Death Watch, and the Republic proxy, which is Duchess Satine.  If all goes according to plan, Satine will be shown as ineffectual and unable to rule her people, and the GAR can occupy Mandalore for reasons of "public safety".  This will inflame the Mandalorians, who aren't part of the Republic and don't want to be, and send them rushing in the arms of the CIS-allied Death Watch, starting a cycle of radicalization and violence which will end (at least from Palpatine's POV) with Mandalore firmly in his grasp, and all potential opposition killed in the Civil War he engineered.   

As enormously stupid as the whole plot sounds, it's a valid historical tactic for imperial powers looking to expand.  And that's lead us the the primary flaw of this story: The Jedi are the Bad Guys.  Just ignore the tangled mess of Mandalorian canon, retcons, and expanded universe, past and present - in the show itself, they are presented as a smaller, weaker neighbor-state, and the Jedi are acting as agents of an expansionary military power, interfering with their internal politics specifically for the purpose of a soft invasion.  And that's an interesting story!  But that story is deliberately obfuscated and hobbled because the writers and producers of TCW were and are ever-so-concerned with making the Jedi as sympathetic as possible, even in situations where they shouldn't be.

Part of that hobbling is Satine's character.  Satine is badly written, but she's badly written in a very specific way that has been common to most of the non-CIS political antagonists the show has presented thus far.  Satine's most interesting characteristic is that she doesn't want to involve Mandalore with the war - and who can blame her?  The Republic and the CIS have nothing to offer to her or her people.  The only thing that will happen is the exploitation of Mandalore's natural resources (at best) or the destruction of her people, caught between two Great Powers who obviously don't care for her people's struggle.  That's an interesting character, right?  A POV we haven't seen in this show so far, which has consistently been from the Jedi POV, which is pretty firmly in the CIS = monsters and Republic = assholes (but democratic assholes!) camp.

But it's a POV that is pretty uncomplimentary of the Jedi role in this war, which means Satine must be crippled by an obnoxious belief in pacifism, like the unlikably-written Lurmen in season one, and also weighted down by a personal connection to an avatar of the Republic, like Senator Farr and his "family friendship" with Padme overcoming the fact that his people are starving and getting no support from the Republic.  I have heard people argue that TCW, written as it was in the late 2000s, is reacting against the excesses of the War on Terror.  I am less than convinced, mostly because every single anti-war character is reduced to a flat caricature of an annoying pacifist that can be safely defeated by the ever-so-kind warrior monks in the space of an episode or two before being cast aside for the next adventure. 

Because Satine's motivations are poorly written, her actions don't make a lick of sense. In "The Mandalore Plot", she's clearly escorting Obi-Wan around under duress - but in "Voyage of Temptation", she's apparently going with the Senators willingly to the Coruscant, to essentially beg the Senate to not invade.  Why not write her as an unwilling "guest" of the Republic, invited without recourse to defend her people's sovereignty?  Well, that would show Obi-Wan in a very unflattering light, wouldn't it?  But in "Duchess of Mandalore" she's back to being a prisoner in everything but name, escaping custody to receive an unaltered copy of her dead minister's speech.  

Now, Obi-Wan helps her at that point...but it's clearly due to some poorly-written romantic feelings.  I am not interested in any Padme/Anakin parallels, mostly because I find it incredibly tedious and honestly not helpful in exploring Anakin's Leap into the Dark Side.  This story is a gigantic missed opportunity to show the Jedi (or at least, a representative of the Jedi) wrestle with their roles as avatars of the republic, when the republic is so obviously manufacturing a reason to invade Mandalore.  Palpatine is obviously orchestrating this whole thing, but he still (at this point in the show) requires the consent of the Senate to essentially annex more territory - and the Senate is perfectly happy to give him that consent, by the way.  There is a fantastic story on the Jedi side about the clash of ideals vs realities, and the writers totally side-stepped it.

But pulling the focus out a little further, that has actually been par for the course for most of the Obi-Wan stories of season 2.  He's been consistently more and more irritated about the war as the season has gone on, and made some off-hand comments about the ungratefulness of the Republic populace that, in the hands of a more competent writer, could have been a multi-season character arc about loss of faith in fallible human institutions, which would dovetail pretty well with his characterization in both RotS and ANH.  Instead, his character remains the static wise-cracking Good Guy; Satine is the Designated Love Interest, unable to develop along more interesting and independent lines; and this arc falls deeply flat as a result.  

They're not the only characters who are horribly underwritten.  I mean, here we are at the end of Season 2, and have we yet seen a sympathetic CIS character, or an accounting of how Palpatine was able to take advantage of already extant fractures in the Republic to create a shadowy cabal dedicated to tearing it apart?  No.  It's all war crimes and evil laughter so far.  The Good Guys always win (until they don't), the bad guys are always Very Bad, and there are no shades of gray in this massive galaxy.  Again, ignoring the complicated Mandalorian backstory, Death Watch is extremely under-baked as villains.  There could have been a fascinating interplay between Satine and Pre about their different visions for their people's future, but just as Satine is a flat Pacifist caricature, Pre is a dull Terrorist caricature.

I have to give a special mention to the horrible Love Confession of "Voyage of Temptation".  This is the episode where Satine is written most consistently as Peak Pacifist.  If she had instead been written as anti-war (but not necessarily a philosophical pacifist), her escape from Tal Merrik would have been a great inversion of that trope - and in fact, I thought it was at first, when she "confessed", and then had to make an annoyed face when Obi-Wan didn't immediately play along.  Instead, they played it straight, and I've never felt more simpatico with a villain than when Tal Merrik complained about their timing.  That fact that Satine's "pacifism" is then used as an excuse for Obi-Wan and Satine to hesitate to kill a terrorist, leading Anakin to kill him...like, c'mon.  I get it, the writers want to show his fall to the dark side, you gotta play the ominous theme music, but is this really a particularly evil act by Anakin?  I'm gonna be honest, if a cop or an armed civilian kills a mass shooter, no one is castigating them for doing so, but instead congratulating them for stopping a murderer from killing again.

Final note and the only one that explicitly addresses the Mandalorian elephant in the room: I hate the Darksaber.  Like, I know we all gave KJA shit for the original Darksaber novel, but the fact that Filoni (or Lucas?) repurposed the name for a SPECIAL MANDALORIAN LIGHTSABER fills me with intense rage.  They're fucking gun knights, you coward, stop inserting your weird Arthurian hard-on into my western samurai sci-fi pastiche.

And that's it for this batch of episodes.  Up next: Boba Fett makes his first appearance in our chronological viewing, and we return to Mandalore a second time, much to my sorrow. 

[thegreymoon]

giuliano de medici?

Obligatory disclaimer here, anon, I’m really not a fan of this show and Giuliano de Medici. I think it’s a terribly written show and he’s a terribly written character, and even though it’s no secret I find Bradley James to be one of the most beautiful people alive, I’m going to go with 

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | 🤗Pretty🤗 | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Mind you, when I say ‘pretty’, I mean so goddamn beautiful I was willing to wade through THREE seasons of utterly infuriating bullshit just for him! (OK, two, because I still haven’t summoned the willpower to sit through season 3 even though I absolutely still plan on doing it 😭😭) I mean, just look at this man’s eyes: 

He’s so gorgeous, I could weep 😭

Also, I’m not going to pretend even for a second that the fact that the costumes gave off such strong Arthur vibes didn’t have anything to do with me sitting through this nonsense and almost enjoying it. When he said ‘I don’t have time for this,’ in this very scene, I got hit over the head with so much deja vu, because it is Arhur’s line, and it was totally Arthur’s delivery! His battle scenes gave me life, but why were they so short? Why was there not more? Why does everything about this shitty show have to be so goddamn unsatisfying? Did the Medici producers not see Merlin season 5? Did they not see what this man can do? Such a wasted opportunity, oh my fucking God! 

Anyway, rant incoming: 

Mind you, I don’t blame Bradley for the unsatisfactory mess Giuliano turned out to be, he did the best he could with the nothing he was given. Only Lorenzo got some semi-decent writing (and even this was not consistent), but Giuliano got such nonsense story arcs, I was sitting there not believing my eyes and ears! I’ve seen gutter trash soap operas with more believable cliche romance! Hell, I’ve seen twelve-year-old girls write better self-insert fanfiction! Even cartoons have better villains than that caricature of a husband, I was laughing out loud at what they were trying to get us to swallow! I mean that line, “It’s not the mask that attracts me, it’s what lies beneath it,” OMG, YOU’VE SEEN HER TWICE IN YOUR LIFE AND SPOKEN THREE WORDS TO HER, JUST SHUT UP!! 😣😫😭

It never gets better, unfortunately, and they wasted the character on this laughable romance instead of doing just about anything else with Giuliano! More of his relationship with Lorenzo, with Bianca, with Lucrezia, or even with Francesco! Hell, I would have even taken Sandro (even though the guy playing him can’t act to save his life and the character is beyond annoying)! Or, I don’t know, and this is just a radical idea here, they could have made Simonetta less two-dimensional and given us an actually believable romantic sub-plot with properly developed characters!

Oh, Gwen, how I missed you! I was forced to eat my words on each and every criticism I ever made about how poorly Arwen was written on Merlin, because it was perfect, perfect writing in comparison! So good, it could be taught in a literature master class! Oh my God, just how do you take two such beautiful people like Bradley and Matilda, put them together and end up with something so infuriatingly nonsensical, forgettable and bland? Colin Morgan has spoiled me and I confess that there was a moment in all my frustration where I had an ugly thought that Bradley James just has no chemistry with women on screen at all, but that’s not really true, because even at it’s worst, Arwen was never this bad and there was never a time when he and Angel actually made me roll my eyes at some of the worst pieces of dialogue I’ve ever heard. Then, of course, there was his performance with Barbara Hershey in Damien, which was on a whole another level of intense, so I have to conclude that the reason Giuliano and Simonetta and that whole ridiculous subplot were so terrible is because the writers could not write for shit. 

Also, as much as I love Bradley, I feel like he was tragically miscast in this role. I just didn’t buy him as Daniel’s younger brother at all. Not only is Bradley older IRL, he has the older brother vibes as well. It’s in his voice, his posture. Better writing for Giuliano notwithstanding, I feel like this show could have been vastly improved if Bradley and Daniel had switched roles. Again, did none of these people see Merlin? Did they not see how iconic Arthur was and what Bradley can do? Because, damn, that man has presence when you give him the proper material to work with, and they took advantage of none of it! I like Daniel, I really do, but even though he was given the best material on this show, he just didn’t fully deliver and I have yet to see him in anything where I am impressed by his performance and not just sitting there for his pretty face.

And since this has devolved into a looooooooong post that no longer has anything to do with the hotness of Giuliano de Medici, let me just mention him: 

Who is this guy and how do I get more of him, because, OMG!  😍🔥🔥🔥😍

He has the most fascinating face I’ve seen in a while, and the way he moves and carries himself is mesmerising! He deserved better-written villainy than what he was given! This show truly did not deserve its cast! Francesco Pazzi was so terribly written, it’s laughable, and yet, here was this guy, stealing the show left and right, in spite of the shit material he was given to work with! Somebody please cast him in something more worthy (preferably in English, or at the very least with English subtitles so that I can watch)! 😭😭

The thing that infuriates me about this series is that they had some fantastic actors here that totally deserved better, such a fascinating period to work with and some of the most interesting figures in history and they spent all their time and money on making them as cliche, two-dimensional, cartoonish and bland as possible.  

Also, I can’t end this post without mentioning how much I loved Sarah Parish as Lucrezia! The woman is perfect, OMG! 😍 The wives, in general, were too good for their husbands in both the seasons I watched so far. The mistresses can go choke, though, and I hated how much they tried to white-wash adultery all over the place. In addition to the poor writing, this show sent out some really gross messages and did nothing to call out all the misogynistic tripe. 

I must exclude Simonetta from my mistress-hate because she died a horrible death, and frankly, other than that, there was not much there for me to perceive her as a real character anyway. I wanted to like her so much because I saw the gifs on Tumblr before actually watching the show, but the writers gave me absolutely nothing to work with and in the end, all I was left with was that she died all alone and with no help or comfort, sick, cold and thirsty, which is one of my big personal fears. The fact that the writers did this to her for no logical reason but to play up Sandro’s and Giuliano’s selfish man-pain - after I really did not buy either of them actually loving her - was just an additional disgusting layer on this poorly written story arc. She deserved better. 

In conclusion, if it wasn’t for Bradley James being pretty, I would have quit this rubbish halfway through season 1 (if anyone is interested in reading just how much I hated it, you can find all my bile here). Season 2 was just as bad, but Bradley, Daniel and Matteo made intolerable characters bearable, which was something Richard Madden was unable to pull off. Of course, all my pure love goes to Contessina, Lucrezia and Clarice, because they were the only characters that I genuinely enjoyed in this mess and didn’t just put up with because I liked the people playing them.