#miley x jake

[stargatelover94]

Me, also and intellectual: Straight facts my guy!

You: But Jake cheated on Miley! How can you defend this ship when he was so ungrateful after she chose him?! You can't get mad at her for going back to Jesse after that!

Me, an intellectual: The only reason Jake Ryan was written cheating on the love of his life, Miley Ray Stewart, was because the writers for whatever goddamn reason wanted to break them up so Miley could end up with Jesse instead after she chose Jake. The way Jake was written out of Miley's life was completely disrespectful to his character and their relationship, and if they'd wanted to convince me they didn't work as a couple they should've kept him in character or at least broken up due to long-distance or something. And they did very little to convince me that Jesse was actually better for her apart from the bare minimum of him not being a cheating ho. In this essay I will

[astriddestelle]

The way I was obsessed with enemies to lovers/rivals to lovers as a kid 😭😭😭 my top pairings growing up ranked. Canon/Fanon included.

Can you tell I’ve been on a nostalgic rewatch.

1. Logan/Quinn from Zoey 101. The OG teenbop enemies to lovers omg I stan. When they pronounced their love for each other at the season finale at the prom, screaming crying throwing up. The way they get together is so random lmao he calls her hot and they kiss then Michael rides by on a horse like what? But the pay off and ending was so *chefs kiss*

2. Courtney/Duncan from TDI. They were everything to me and Cartoon Network ruined it. First season the bantering, the flirting. When I tell you I was hooked. The scream I scrumpt when they finally kissed (also me didn’t she just throw up but whatever I guess) then she left and it was all downhill from there.

3. Rose/Jake from ADJL. The Romeo and Juliet of this paring needs to be studied. They were so down bad for each other. When Jake found out she was huntsgirl then when she found out. Their first kiss being right before she had to ‘kill’ him for sport in an arena. Her giving up her life to keep him and his family safe, him giving up her to keep her safe. 😭😭😭 they don’t make em like they used too

4. Draco/Harry from HP. The ship that started it all. Before this I’d never read a slash fic before is it even still called that. Anyways this right here is my longest going ship I’m still into only reason it’s not higher is that I love the other ones more. You get so many variations of this, from the super toxic fic, to the I’ve always secretly loved you, to the meet up after the war is over and so on and so forth. Ugh I love it. There’s like 50,000 fics of them on a03 and I know I’ve read like half at least 🤣

5. Zuko/Katara from Avatar. My second non canon ship on here. When I tell you I was obsessed with them. Sigh then I discovered other fandoms and by the time I came back to them I was just done. Which I think comes fromm just not being as much of a Zuko fan anymore. This ship was gold, tho, I mean come on I’ll save you from the pirates how can I not. The way he jumped in front of her (obviously he’d do the same for everyone but like listen it ate down bad) the whole crystal caverns episode was fuel to the fire, the writers/creators knew what they were doing

6. Jake/Miley from Hannah Montana. Another OG omg she hated him so much. The flirty the snark then they had to kiss and both of em were like oh hot damn. They were so cute together and I will forever hate Disney for making her choose Jake just for him to cheat on her like what was the reason. What was the reason 😭😭

7. Alejandro/Heather from TDI. Woo child buckle up. This is one of those slowburns cause it’s not until like a quarter in to the season you’re like hold up. Are they going where I think they’re going and then they did. I don’t like the ending cause seriously wtf was the point. But the lead up and bruh the stuck in a hole song I still sing that on a daily. They were literally made for each other.

8. Chad/Sonny from Sonny with a Chance: one thing about Disney they ate down when it comes to enemies to lovers, or annoyance to like, whatever you wanna call it. Chad Dylan Cooper and Sonny omg the drama was beautiful, they hated each other so much and when they started dating I bout passed out. Lol they were so hilarious together I miss it.

9. Raven/Beastboy from TT. This and next two aren’t super enemies to lovers, more live annoyances or belligerent sexual tension. But I really was obsessed with this, like I was the girl reading Terra bashing fics 😭😭 they were so cute, the Beast Within was ship gold, Nevermore, the fact that she holds onto to the penny he gives her when she ‘dies’ and oh he only turns into the Beast again to protect her from Slade and never again. Beautiful

10. Jimmy/Cindy from JN. They may have only been nine but sheesh the rivalry to lovers or in this case crushes was intense. Cindy was down bad since day one but she hid that shit so well. The Valentine’s Day episode still makes me giggle like a kid. And the last episode where they’re legit just straight up flirting with each other I can not. When she almost confesses when he’s the orange hulk. So cute.

Honarary mentions:

Jinx/Kid Flash from TT. They were cute but I hated it solely for the fact that it shoulda been me 😭😭🤧🤧

Sam/Freddie from icarly. Ok so I used to love this one and as I got older, Sam was just so fucking mean that I couldn’t ship like damn. At some point it’s not cute anymore, it’s just down right abusive, early seasons yes, later seasons where they’re actually together no.

Bakugo/Deku simply cause some days I think it’s cute other days I hate it

Mindy and Josh from Drake and Josh. Cute and amusing but didn’t care for em much.

Bailey and Code from Suite Life on Deck see above.

[clovis-enthusiast]

What other Clovis ships do you enjoy? 🤗

(Other than Clovico)

AH HI YES HELLO i always forget to check for asks (and actually answer them as well. so sorry ares cabin asker one day u will get ur post... one day....)

i actually am a huge multi-shipper so the list of characters i ship clovis with is quite long! there are some i prefer and flesh out/explore way more than others for sure, but generally i think they're all very lovely 🫶

ANYWHOOZLE HERES A LIST OF ALL THE SHIPS THAT I LIKE(D) THAT I CAN THINK OF ATM!!

pollux

lou ellen blackstone (i prefer queer platonic partners for them but including anyway)

will solace (by himself or in a poly relationship with clovis AND nico)

jake mason (originated from one of my cosplayer friends apolloshalfblood who duets me as jake!!)

michael yew (originated from one of my cosplayer friends theturtleking72 who duets me as michael! i actually have a WHOLE lore/story behind this ship if anyone would like to hear abt it someday!!)

drew tanaka

mitchell

leo valdez

valentina diaz

butch walker

malcolm pace

dakota

octavian

damien white

jason grace

katie gardner

miranda gardiner (originated from a fanfic by mew-tsubaki!! note: that person also ships lacy and clovis which i do NOT condone. lacy is too young to be in a romantic relationship with clovis.)

sherman yang

nyssa barrera (originated from a fanfic by akheilos and delphin inc and inspired slightly by my cosplayer friend whatami.doing2!!)

alabaster c. torrington

piper mcclean (this was before she got together with shel so while i still like the ship, i feel cautious abt it just bc piper said she doesnt know what her sexuality is and since shes currently woth a woman, i dont want to disregard her potentially having a sexuality that woukd exclude clovis for one reason or another)

austin lake (originated from the artist baylx!!)

ethan nakamura (this is the most recent ship i got into actually! from a rlly good fic called even if you run away, you still see them in your dreams on a03 by mondtstadtlover6000)

and im probs missing a ton of others but these were the ones i could think of off the top of my head!!

(and then i also ship him with some of my own ocs :3 one is named marty diaz from the ares cabin, one is a daughter of hecate who doesn't have a name just yet, and one is a child of hecate named miles/miley!)

my personal favorites (besides clovico) are niclovill, pollovis, and (atm) ethan x clovis!!

and for reference, i hc clovis as somewhere between bi and pan but not rlly caring abt labels. also i hc him as being nonbinary/gender fluid if that adds anything to these ships lolol)

[stargatelover94]

The assassination of Jake Ryan’s character was a travesty! My man Lesley NEVER would have cheated on Miley, not buying that for a minute!

JAKE RYAN WAS A MILEY SIMP AND WOULD NEVER EVER HAVE JEOPARDIZED THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND FRIENDSHIP BY CHEATING ON HER AND I STAND BY THIS

[serethereal]

hi hi mads @pancakehouse thx for tagging <33

three ships: r/s, percabeth, klaroline

first ship: uh. that would be. um. uh. Miley x Jake (Hannah Montana) SORRY but i can't make it not hit...

last song: shen yeng anthem by Shenseea xx

last film: catching fire

currently reading: nothing :(( stuck reading silly academic papers for my research </33

currently watching: rewatching succession + a kdrama w my sister

currently consuming: these little like. oven pastries? idk what they're called but they are filled with chocolate so i love them

currently craving: iced water

incredible pressure tagging @thebloatedfrog @theinvisiblemuseum @moongays @sequinhaze and um. idk. i feel like everyone has done this so whoever sees this and wants to, consider me incredible pressure tagging you too <33

[starry-blue-echoes]

Ok rapid fire

Jojo Pose by Apollo Fresh ;)))

The Joestars in general: Light em up x Radioactive by Exostomp Music, Sinners by Barns Courtney, Glitter & Gold by Barns Courtney, Legacy by THINKTANK, Cannonball by 8 Graves, Children of the Stars by Bella Goldwin x Oliver Lie (they're the joeSTARS), Revolution by The Score, Larger Than Life by pinkzebra, Industry Baby by Lil Nas X, Red by Aviators (acoustic version), STAR WALKIN' by Lil Nas X, We Rise by Aviators

Golden WInd: Gansta's Paradise by Coolio

Stardust Crusaders: Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears, Around The World by Daft Punk

Diamond is Unbreakable: No Lullaby by Siames

Jonathan: House of Memories by Panic At The Disco (him towards Dio if that makes sense), Warriors by Imagine Dragons, Witness the Masterpiece by GANYOS (man carries the whole joestar legacy on his back), Warrior Spirit by Samuel Day, FALLEN LEAVES by Miracle of Sound

Joseph: World at our feet by Timmy Trumpet, Can I Get A Witness by Sonreal

Jotaro: Crossfire by Stephen (all the shit that happened in sdc), In My Zone by Moody Mourad (his self reliance), Horizon by Amongst Wolves (Dio's influence over his whole life+his trauma), Ghost of You by Charlie PS (more dio trauma), Hey Brother by Avicii, I Am a Stone by Demon Hunter, Dead Weight by BRKN LOVE, Tough Guy by BENEE, Godhunter by Aviators (he kills Dio, which means "god in italian so), Knee Socks by Arctic Monkeys (vibes), Freight Train by Smash Into Pieces

Josuke: Die Young by Kesha, La La La by Area 21, Listen Up! by Excuses Excuses

Giorno: Dare To Dream by Glow Beets (I, Giorno Giovanna, have a dream,), Tidal Wave by Portugal. The Man (he turned the entire mafia in italy on it's head in a week)

Jolyne: Angels by Vicetone, THAT BITCH by Bea Miller (could work for Ermes as well), Hell No! by Mel Senese, Deal With It by Ashnikko (her avoidance of marriage to Anasui lul), Mother's Daughter by Miley Cyrus, Bad Things by NOT THE MAIN CHARACTERS

Dio: Making Love To the Dead by Beginners, Applause by Lady Gaga, Rituals by Jiovanni Daniel, Vampire by Lazyboy Empire, Bad by Royal Deluxe, Villain by Garvie, Liar by Jake Daniels, Ancient Dreams In A Modern Land by Marina, Oh No! by Marina, Villain by K/DA, Good To Be Bad by CRMNL, Phonky Town by PlayaPhonk (dio walk), The Cult Of Dionysus by The Orion Experience, Supernatural by Barns Courtney, Babylon by Dirt Poor Robins, Brad Pitt by COIN, The Rose That Poisoned The Ground by El Misti (he fucked up the entire joestar family), I'm Back by Royal Deluxe (him coming back in part 3), Forevermore by Ghost Nation, Don't You Dare Forget The Sun by Get Scared, The Greatest by REACH (there's a lyric which goes "the one with the greatest seed" and dio has like four kids lmao), Hypnotized by Set It Off (the flesh buds)

Wammu: Eye of The Storm by Watt White

(no Esidisi bc I don't know enough about his character)

Kars: Black Mambo by Glass Animals (vibes really), La Espada by Eternal Raijin, Bird by Joh Yoban

Kira: Slavonic Epoch by Tombstone (repairing the mistake he made of letting the enemy know his identity and fixing it), Houdini by AViVA (mans barely escaped getting killed. and he's insane), Hey Brother by Jakob Samuel ("your secret's well protected" "and the ghost under your bed so far away" "the devil's coming"), Faith by Karen Aoki ( ;) )

Diavolo: Dark Red by Steve Lacy (his paranoia towards getting his identity discovered), Play Dirty by Kevin McAllister (mentions the devil and he "plays dirty" by almost killing his own daughter to make sure no one finds out his identity)

Pucci: Bloody Mary by Lady Gaga, Preaching To The Choir by Alex Runo (he is literally a priest), Honey I'm Home by GHOST (religion in like. an evil way), Devil by Alex Runo (more religion), Creature by Half Alive, The Beast by Old Caltone (heavy religious vibes), Preach by SAINT MOTEL, Babylon by Dirt Poor Robins, My Church by Aviators (he is religious), Lust For A Vampyr by I Monster (dio follower)

Speedwagon: One Way Mirror by Christopher Kenji (mans literally had BLADES IN HIS HAT he was so inventive and had a lot of tricks up his sleeve)

Caesar: Rise Up by Smash Into Pieces (reminds me of how his life was cut short and he spent his last moments to help Joseph win), Put In The Time by Future Royalty (he put his all into hamon training), Curses by The Crane Wives (the zeppeli curse), All That Glitters by Earl (vibes ONLY), Skyfall by Adele, Blossom by Reckless Jacks

Kakyoin: Skin and Bones by Cage the Elephant, Brothers by SIAMES (his first friends with the sdc were like his brothers), Washing Machine Heart by Mitski (this song has the vibes of something dying too young), Take The Fall by JAXSON GAMBLE ( he dies to help the crusaders), Mountain Sound by Of Monsters And Men, Skyfall by Adele (both Caesar and Kakyoin get this song ok), It's All Happening by SAINT MOTEL, Cherry's Bent by STRAINJER (cherry), All Comes Crashing by Metric, Fish in a Birdcage by Fish in a Birdcage (kakyoin as a child being alone, and probably hoping to be surrounded by people that understood him)

Avdol: Exposed by Matt Fees, Pheonix by Fall Out Boys (fire, he basically came back to life), Fire by Barns Courtney, Grumpy Sun by Shannon Clark & the Sugar (vibes again)

Polnareff: Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes, Enchante by Dirt Poor Robins, When Honor Dies by Miracle of Sound

Okuyasu: Losemyhead by littleDEATH, Bang by Sir Sly

Koichi: Stockholm Syndrome by Sofia Karlberg

Bruno: River by BRKN LOVE (it has his vibes ok), White Lies by Max Frost (him to Diavolo), Dance with the Devil by Fame Cartel (the devil...LIKE DIAVOLO?)

Abbacchio: Hurt by Oliver Tree, Lovely by Billie Eilish BUT the cover by Beneath My Skin, Cold World by 8 Graves, Bittersweet by The Galactic Effect

Naranchia: D.A.N.C.E. by Justice (you know why)

Mista: All Eyes On You by Smash Into Pieces, Kick by Saint Chaos, Bullet by SAINT MOTEL, Roses Or Blood by Actice Captive

Trish: High Waist To Hell by Cloudy June, Bubblegum Bitch by Marina And The Diamonds

Fugo: Go To War by Nothing More (shows his anger AND Fugo was originally supposed to be an enemy spy), Bad Faith by 8 Graves

Ermes: Deal With It by Ashnikko (look it fits her too ok. it has her sass), Might Heart by Acid Arcade, My Time To Shine by UPSAHL, YES MOM by Tessa Violet, Bad Things by NOT THE MAIN CHARACTERS

F.F.: Wait A Minute! By Willow Smith (vibes), Jackpot by TheFatRat (more vibes), Bad Things by NOT THE MAIN CHARACTERS

Weather Report: Better Off Dead by 8 Graves (him after getting his memories back), New Depression by Mark Doucette (also him after getting his memories back), Lost by Ghost Nation (his memories are lost), Rain by Grandson (rain), Veteran of the Psychic Wars (he had his memories stolen which had a lot of trauma a stuff)

Anasui: Destination Unknown (the music video is explicit and when Anasui breaks out of prison he just follows Weather Report lmao), Beggin' by Maneskin, Come Back Down by Trevor Something (him to jolyne lmao)

Emporio: Saviour by Jennings Couch (him basically getting together the whole squad to save the day), Ship In A Bottle by Steffan Argus (survivor's guilt after watching all his friends die after failing to protect them), GOD OF FAILURE by WITCHZ (survivor's guilt again)

Songs I don't know what to do with but go somewhere: Eye For An Eye by 8 Graves, Freaks by Timmy Trumpet, Arsonist's Lullaby by Hozier (I honestly just really love this song and feel as if it could fit someone in this list that is like...addicted to something and that's like their flaw or something. Maybe Dio with power), C'est La Vie by Weathers, Moonshine by Caravan Palace, Hold On by Unknown Chapters, Hell's Coming With Me by Poor Man's Poison, Ain't No Rest For The Wicked by Cage The Elephant, What, Me Worry? by Portugal. The Man, Menace by Rezz, The Wolf by Siames, After Midnight by Darren Day, Devil by Twice is Nice, Crash And Burn by Unlike Pluto, Bones by Imagine Dragons, One In The Same by BRKN LOVE, Let There Be Fire by Aviators

there's more characters I could've done but like it took literal hours to get all this so...anyway. lemme know what you think :)))

-ffa

I

I am in awe and absolute terror of your power because anon how the every living fUCK DID YOU FIT THAT MANY CHARACTERS I A SINGLE ASK JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-

[marrissacooper]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

tagged by @amvwolfgirl thanks! <3

first ship: probably jake and miley from hannah montana? although now that i think about it, i had this valentine’s day special w.i.t.c.h comic book and i used to be obsessed with Hay Lin and Eric lol

three ships: right now ryan x marissa, wyler, strellacott

last song: graceland too by phoebe bridgers

last movie: the lobster

currently reading: in cold blood by truman capote

currently watching: kevin can f**k himself s2

currently consuming: chamomile tea and biscuits

currently craving: sheep’s milk cheese on warm bread

tagging: @bloodbuzz-ohio @emmanelson @laylakeating @pinckertons @diamantdog @tylrgalpins

[deepestphotoshopwonderwomanpaper]

Couples songs for Emily windsnap

Emily x Aaron

Oxygen from teen beach movie

Message in bottle vault track Taylor swift

Stop the world Demi Lovato

Jake x Mary P

Enchanted taylor

Uncharted waters live action little mermaid

A year without rain Selena Gomez

Millie x Archie

The way I loved year Taylor

Crush selena gomez

You don’t do it for me anymore Demi

7 things Miley Cyrus

[chrancecriber]

Antenne Vorarlberg Chillout Lounge (August 01, 2023)

23:58 Blondee & Marc Werner Feat. Fabienne Rothe - Wonderful Days 23:53 Schiller X Tricia Mcteague - Miracle 23:49 Nora En Pure - Tantrum 23:41 Audiofly Feat. Fiora - 6 Degrees 23:34 Blank & Jones - White Light 23:31 Majestic & Boney M. - Rasputin 23:24 Jan Blomqvist - Maybe Not (Rodriguez Jr. Extended) 23:21 Hanns Feat. Lu - Chemistry 23:19 Nto (Fr) Feat. Sofiane Pamart - Invisible (Piano Version) 23:15 Eelke Kleijn - Mistakes I've Made 23:10 Lstn - Times Of Sorrow 23:06 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Josha Daniel - Oscillations 23:00 Lexer & Paji - Red Puddle 22:57 Nora Van Elken - Mount Fuji 22:51 Gary B - Let You In 22:48 Together Alone - Ain't Nobody 22:45 Above & Beyond - The Inconsistency Principle 22:38 Chris Zippel - Around, Arrived 22:34 Nora En Pure - Epiphany 22:31 Above & Beyond Feat. Justine Suissa - Little Something 22:27 Mark Ronson Feat. Miley Cyrus - Nothing Breaks Like A Heart 22:23 Glide - Y Môr 22:20 Buchs Feat. Nokyo - Cheverolet 22:16 Maa, Seven24, R.i.b. - Frozen 22:12 Kidsø - Finja 22:05 Jean-michel Jarre - Equinoxe, Pt. 4 22:02 Sono - Twist In My Sobriety (Sans Souci Remix Edit) 21:56 Sans Souci - Venice 21:52 Massive Attack - Three 21:49 Goldfish Feat. Nate Highfield & Dan Silver - Forever Free 21:46 Audien - Blue 21:40 Spiller (Royksopp's Malselves Memorabililia Mix) - Cry Baby 21:37 Dj Antoine & Flip Capella Feat. Evelyn - Dark Love 21:32 Nora En Pure - Trailblazer (Club Mix) 21:27 Agron - Love My Soul 21:24 Passenger 10 - Serving The World 21:21 Zaz - Demain C'est Toi 21:17 Jazzamor - Lovin' You 21:12 Deep Dive Corp. Feat. Dennis Le Gree - Water 21:09 Mike Candys, Sb Mont & Salvo - Turned To Dust 21:06 Alok, Bruno Martini, Featuring Zeeba - Hear Me Now 21:03 Glockenbach Ft. Clockclock - Brooklyn 20:57 Fous De La Mer - Luz 20:55 Famba Feat. Brando & Mkla - Games We Play 20:52 Kamrad - I Believe 20:48 Nora En Pure Feat. Tim Morrison - Come Away 20:45 Nihoni - After Sun 20:37 Blank & Jones - Fallen 20:34 Trinix - Soweto 20:31 Nora En Pure - All I Need 20:27 The Underdog Project - Summer Jam 20:25 Amely & Lvndscape - Losing My Mind 20:19 The Last Atlant - Twin Of The Sun 20:13 Mirage Of Deep - Cloudless Sky 20:11 Atb & Topic - Your Love (9pm) 20:08 Enigma - Return To Innocence 20:05 Sans Souci - Take My Breath Away (Original Mix) 20:01 Schiller & Peter Heppner - Leben... I Feel You 19:55 Max Denoise Feat Claire Willis - Bring To Me Life (Original Mix) 19:52 Nore En Pure - In Your Eyes 19:49 Armin Van Buuren Feat. Jake Reese - Need You Now 19:46 Iberis Eguana - Sand Of Time 19:41 Arden - Open 19:38 Dize Feat. Aurii - Wenn Ich Nicht Mehr Weiss 19:32 Aural Float - Still Here 19:25 Nora En Pure - Oblivion (Extended Mix) 19:19 Exstra - Comet (Extended Mix) 19:15 Mandalay - Beautiful 19:13 Trinix & Ian Urbina - Bad Things 19:10 Felix Jaehn Feat. Lost Frequencies & Linying - Eagle Eyes 19:06 Tomas Skyldeberg - Chillin With You 19:02 Passenger 10 - Voices In Her Head 18:57 Puremusic - Unsaid (State Azure Remix) 18:53 Kyla La Grange - Cut Your Teeth 18:50 Nora Van Elken - Interstellar 18:46 Blank & Jones - Nothing Can Come Between Us 18:35 Cell - Above The Clouds (Live Version) 18:28 Atb - No Fate 18:22 Lounge Generation & Namara - Inner Voice 18:19 Nightcall X Henri Purnell Feat. Eke - When The Morning Breaks 18:16 Agatino Romero - I'm Feeling For You 18:11 Rameses B - Never Forget (Original Mix) 18:07 Robin Schulz - Moonlit Sky (With The Void Pacific Choir) 18:04 Jazzamor - Song For Maggie 18:02 Carstn, Jason Walker - Could You Love Me (Munich Monstrs Remix) 17:52 Moby - Too Much Change 17:48 Armin Van Buuren & Garibay Feat. Olaf Blackwood - I Need You 17:42 Röyksopp Feat. Susanne Sundførd - Oh, Lover 17:40 Pulsedriver & Tiscore Feat. Anna Grey - We Are 17:33 Fac15 & Jay C - By The Pool (Jay C's Classic Mix) 17:28 Blank & Jones - Into The Sun 17:26 Felix Jaehn & The Stickmen Project Feat. Calum Scott - Rain In Ibiza 17:21 Faithless - Evergreen 17:18 Raffa Fi - Ritmo 17:15 Above & Beyond Feat. Zoe Johnston - Treasure 17:09 Sven Van Hees - Ocean Jive 17:05 Klangkarussell And Givven - Follow 17:02 The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - Something Just Like This 16:58 Eelke Kleijn - Midnight Affair (Samaha Slow Edit) 16:53 Two Lanes - Pièces Froides: Ii. Danses De Travers 16:47 Hraach, Armen Miran - Aldebaran (Original) 16:43 Blank & Jones Feat. Zoe Durrant - Adios Ayer 16:40 Kygo With Avicii & Sandro Cavazza - Forever Yours (Tribute) 16:33 Noraj Cue - Story At The Campfire 16:29 Christopher Von Deylen - Infinity 16:26 Sum Wave - Backyard Stories 16:23 M22 - Good To Be Loved 16:20 Laniia - Fireflies 16:13 Colyn - Unstable Gravity Alert 16:08 Finland & Aaskoven - La Balbianello (Dosso D'aveto Mix) 16:05 Daniel Portman - Sensual Desires 16:01 Lucy Neville - Fall At Your Feet 15:59 R3hab, Timmy Trumpet, W&w - Distant Memory 15:55 Arty Feat. Cimo Fränkel - Daydreams (Sultan Shepard Echoes) 15:51 Jelly & Fish Feat. Amiaz & Tina Welzel - Appreciation (Radio Mix) 15:48 Tinlicker Feat. Nathan Nicholson - Be Here And Now 15:44 Edx - Vommuli 15:40 Federico Aubele - Postales 15:37 Bolier - Another Blue 15:35 Neptunica & Lunax - We Don't Even Talk Anymore 15:31 Norman Feller - Retrospective 15:28 Sons Of Maria - Always 15:20 Blond:ish Feat. Bahramji - Omnipresent 15:16 Karen Ramirez - Looking For Love 15:12 Audax Feat. Ron Caroll - Falling For You 15:08 Chris Coco - Before Sunset (Original Mix) 15:05 Tinlicker & Helsloot - Because You Move Me 15:01 Tom Novy & Dan Le Blonde - Let's Dance (Tom Novy Remix) 14:55 Fil A Fil - Just An Illusion 14:50 Schiller Feat. Jael - Tired (Live) 14:47 Glockenbach - Dirty Dancing 14:41 Ensaime - No Me Contesta 14:38 Shouse - Won't Forget You 14:34 David Guetta, Robin Schulz, Cheat Codes - Shed A Light (Blank & Jones Remix) 14:30 Martin Böttcher - Old-shatterhand-melodie (Orbient Mix) 14:27 The Holy Santa Barbara Feat. Madugo - The Sailor Song 14:25 Avian Grays & Azteck - Endlessly 14:17 Ost & Kjex - Queen Of Europe Feat. Anne Lise Frokedal (Solomun Remix) 14:13 Olga Scheps - How Much Is The Fish? 14:10 David Guetta Feat. Sam Martin - Dangerous 14:08 Twisted Harmonies Feat. Mougleta - You & Me 14:05 Loud Luxury And Frank Walker Feat. Stephen Puth - Like Gold 14:02 Ofenbach - Be Mine 13:57 Dreamerproject - Horizons (Glenn Main Remix) 13:54 Schiller - Once Upon A Time (Cahill Remix) 13:51 Robin Schulz & Marc Scibilia - Unforgettable 13:46 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Diana Miro - You (Frankey & Sandrino Remix) 13:41 Blank & Jones - Sunshines Better (Feat. Mick Roach) 13:34 Troels Hammer - Trans/ For/ Mation 13:31 Magnofield - Lupino 13:26 Tinlicker Feat. Hero Baldwin - Rebirth 13:22 Liberdade - Otra Vida 13:19 Paul Oakenfold, Bolier, Luis Fonsi - The World Can Wait (Bolier Remix) 13:16 Hagen Feetly - Not The One 13:13 Lucas Estrada & Henri Purnell & Neimy - In My Fantasy 13:08 Rìfìs Du Sol - Next To Me 13:02 Bruno Be, Manimal, Vintage Culture - Human Remix (Club Mix) 12:59 Dante Klein & Jordiz Feat. Megan Brands - Life 12:56 Gamper & Dadoni - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! 12:53 Arizona - Oceans Away (Sam Feldt Remix) 12:49 Moli - Cloud No9 (Montmartre Remix) 12:47 Edx - Neptune 12:43 Blank & Jones - Flaming June 12:40 Blank & Jones Feat. Mick Roach - Magnolia 12:37 L'imperatrice - Peur Des Filles (Montmartre Remix) 12:33 Bebo Best & The Super Lounge Orchestr - Come As You Are 12:31 Sam Feldt & Sam Fischer - Pick Me Up (Vavo Remix) 12:27 Minnie Riperton - Lovin' You 12:25 Srtw & Mave Feat. Sønlille - Last Train Home 12:21 Lstn - Sky & Sand 12:17 Emmit Fenn - Lost In Space 12:13 Elderbrook & Bob Moses - Inner Light 12:07 Beyhude - Terso 12:04 Robin Schulz Feat. Nico Santos - More Than A Friend 12:00 Robin Schulz & Alle Farben & Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow / What A Wonderful World 11:55 Enui - Adieu (Arielle Lb Remix) 11:52 Mike Perry Feat. Shy Martin - The Ocean 11:49 Alina Baraz & Galimatias - Fantasy (Felix Jaehn Remix) 11:46 Mike Candys & Séb Mont - What's On Your Mind 11:42 Lumininius - I Believe In You 11:38 Above & Beyond Feat. Zoe Johnston - We're All We Need 11:34 Mo' Horizons - Dance Naked Under Palmtrees 11:32 Ofenbach & Ella Henderson - Hurricane 11:28 Alan Walker Ahrix - End Of Time 11:23 Yonderboi - Sinking Slowly 11:20 Chicane - Capricorn (Back Pedal Brakes Remix) 11:15 Schiller & Tricia Mcteague - Guardian Angel 11:10 The Funky Lowlives - Time To Let Go 11:07 Vize & Alan Walker Feat. Leony, Edward Artemyev - Space Melody (Edward Artemyev) 11:01 Hakan Kayis, Furkan Sarikas, Cinar Gedizlioglu - A Night In Alacati (Original Mix) 10:56 Mathieu & Florzinho - Maha - Amba 10:53 Nora En Pure - Wetlands 10:48 Tebra - Istok 10:41 Marcel - Departure 10:36 Schiller - Free The Dragon 10:29 Bryan Milton & Jama - Like A River 10:24 Jens Buchert - Cocoon 10:20 Robin Schulz - Above The Clouds 10:13 Nora En Pure - Birthright (Club Mix) 10:11 Carstn & Ten Tonne Skeleton - Safety Dance 10:08 Gibbs & Code X - Close To Your Heart 10:00 Deep Dive Corp. - Bali Hi 09:56 John Summit & Hayla - Where You Are 09:54 Dj Antoine Feat. Ablai - My Corazon (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k21 Mix) 09:48 Rodg - Life Is Life (Chill Mix) 09:41 Avira & Diana Miro - The Worship (Mark Knight Extended) 09:38 Nora En Pure - Stop Wasting Time 09:34 Lilly Wood & The Prick And Robin Schulz - Prayer In C 09:32 Edx & Amba Shepherd - Off The Grid 09:28 Schiller - Lichtwerk 09:23 Rìfìs Du Sol - Alive (Anyma Remix) 09:16 Consolidation Feat. Moguai - Ode To Joy 09:09 Humate - 3.2 (Bedrock Ambient Mix) 09:04 Joachim Pastor & Signum - Something You Need (Extended Mix) 09:01 Dj Antoine & Dead-line - Shout 08:57 Marc Narrow Feat. Robin Gambler & Ian Late - L.o.v.e. 08:55 Edx - Ecletric (Mixed) 08:50 Bolier & Leandro Da Silva - Floripa (Extended) 08:47 Lemongrass - Comme Toujours 08:44 Klingande, Wrabel - Big Love 08:40 Armin Van Buuren & Avira - Illusion (Mixed) 08:35 Groovecatcher - Neonstrasse 08:31 Nora En Pure - Life On Hold 08:28 Lost Frequencies & Aloe Blacc - Truth Never Lies 08:25 Colorblast - Message In A Bottle (Colorblast Version) 08:20 Mr.da-nos - San Francisco 2k20 08:13 Tosca - Dave Dudley 08:10 Filatov & Karas - Au Au 08:08 Alan Walker X Hans Zimmer - Time (Alan Walker Remix) 08:03 James Bright - Sarabande 07:58 Airstream - Your Tears (Del Mar Mix) 07:50 Maxim Lany - Riding The Wave (Extended Mix) 07:43 Chicane - Offshore 07:40 Nora Van Elken - Let It Go 07:36 The Alan Parsons Project - Old And Wise 07:30 Claptone Feat. Nathan Nicholson - Heartbeat 07:27 Robin Schulz Feat. Alida - In Your Eyes 07:23 Spanish Armada Movement - Margarita 07:19 Klangperlenspiel - Million Words 07:13 Tebra - Suton 07:10 Wamdue Project - King Of My Castle 07:07 Alok & James Arthur - Work With My Love 07:04 Blank & Jones Feat. Zoe Durrant - Erase Rewind 06:58 Fous De La Mer - Esse Sonho 06:53 Goldfish - Love Everlasting (Extended Mix) 06:49 Jean-michel Jarre - Oxygene, Pt. 4 06:45 Jazzamor - Way Back 06:41 Nora En Pure & Lika Morgan - In The Air Tonight (Sons Of Maria Remix) 06:39 Avaion, Paulwetz, Nu Aspect Feat. Yuma - Sleepless 06:35 Alle Farben Feat. Janieck - Little Hollywood 06:32 Stepha Schweiger - When I Was A Bird 06:26 Faro - Dreaming In Orange 06:24 Max Johann & Layrz - Tell It To My Heart 06:20 Nora En Pure - Sign Of The Times 06:17 Alphawezen - Out Of Sight 06:15 Sons Of Maria - A Kiss Like This 06:12 Iossa, Ken Holland - The Seed Feat. Iossa (Original Mix) 06:07 Ingo Herrmann - Sundown 05:59 Hraach - After Dark 05:56 Freischwimmer - California Dreamin 05:51 La Vita - Saxual Seduction 05:44 Worakls - By The Brook 05:40 Blank & Jones - Alone In This Rhythm 05:36 Smoke City - Underwater Love 05:33 Kryder & Natalie Shay - Rapture 05:29 Depeche Mode - Goodnight Lovers 05:26 Junge, Junge Feat. Jamie Hartma - Wicked Hearts 05:18 Kygo - Freeze 05:11 Chris Zippel - Mirror Dawn 05:08 Lucy Neville - Shameless 05:05 Mike Candys - Sky (Club Mix) 05:00 Kabanjak - The Rain 04:58 Vize & Tom Gregory - Never Let Me Down 04:50 True & Berger - Imprint Of Pleasure 04:43 A Sagittariun, Skip Mcdonald - Crystallization Feat. Skip Mcdonald (Original Mix) 04:40 Tiësto - The Motto 04:37 Younotus Feat. Chris Gelbuda - When I Think About You 04:33 Moby - Lie Down In Darkness 04:30 Alok Feat. John Martin - Wherever You Go 04:27 Lost Frequencies Feat. Axel Ehnström - All Or Nothing 04:24 Shaun Frank & Takis Feat. Shells - Don't Say I Love You 04:18 Deep Dive Corp. & Setsuna - Transatlantic 04:12 Depeche Mode - The Love Thieves 04:05 Dale Anderson Feat. Anil Chawla - Pimento Grove 04:02 Avaion X Vize X Leony - Pieces 03:58 Shaun Feat. Conor Maynard - Way Back Home 03:53 Scotty & Wilcox - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (Wilcox Extended) 03:50 Rosa Linn - Snap 03:45 Tosca - Gute Laune 03:41 Kygo Feat. Will Heard - Nothing Left 03:37 Cats On Bricks Feat. Zach Alwin - Planes Over Ushuaia 03:31 Markus Hakala - Curacao 03:27 Mike Candys & Jack Holiday - La Serenissima 03:22 Moby - Extreme Ways (Bourne's Legacy) 03:18 Milkwish - From The Earth To The Moon 03:13 Cecilia Krull - Agnus Dei (Benny Benassi & Bb Team Remix) 03:06 A Forest Mighty Black - Rebirth 03:02 Milk & Sugar Feat. John Paul Young - Love Is In The Air 03:00 Dj Antoine & Deep Vice - When You Want Some Love (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k21 Mix) 02:55 The Dining Rooms - Existentialism (Milano Dub Mix) 02:52 Thomas Gold Feat. Bright Sparks - Seventeen 02:49 Chris Avedon - The Letter 02:46 Dynoro Feat. Gigi D'agostino - In My Mind 02:43 Martin Trevy Feat. Hedara - Talking To The Silence 02:40 Hugel - Can't Love Myself (Feat. Mishaal& Lpw) 02:35 Worldwide Groove Corporation - Besame Mucho 02:31 Fritz Kalkbrenner - Daylight Is Falling 02:28 Hearts & Colors - Lighthouse (Andrelli Remix) 02:25 Tomas Skyldeberg - Outside The Window 02:17 Armin Van Buuren & Avira Feat. Sam Martin - Mask 02:12 Aromabar - Renegade 02:06 Atb & Anova - Route 66 02:03 Daniel Portman - Vulnerable 02:00 Lost Frequencies Feat. Harold Van Lenne - Are You With Me (Lounge) 01:57 Nora Van Elken - Heaven Is A Place On Earth 01:55 Möwe - Bad Intentions 01:51 Clangusar - I Promised Myself 01:48 Dizkodude & Dj Antoine - Your Eyes (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k21 Summer Mix) 01:45 Lstn - Sïstër 01:42 Sam Feldt - Show Me Love (Original Mix) 01:35 Soul Button - Circadian Rhythm (Hraach Remix) 01:30 Espresso Del Lago - Ballet Or Sauna 01:24 Schiller - Der Goldene Engel 01:21 Sans Souci - Condor 01:18 Kygo Feat. Ellie Goulding - First Time 01:14 Backstreet Boys - Chances (Instrumental) 01:11 Mefree - Horizons 01:05 Blank & Jones With Claudia Brücken - Unknown Treasure 01:00 Worakls - Caprice 00:53 Rìfìs Du Sol - On My Knees (Oliver Schories Remix) 00:49 Zhu - Faded 00:42 John Kah - Carina (Enui Remix) 00:40 Vize & Leony - Dolly Song (Devil's Cup) 00:36 Aural Float - Be As You Are 00:32 Lstn - Undecided 00:25 Lemongrass - Feel Good 00:22 Nora En Pure - Enchantment 00:16 Goa Foundation - (I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight 00:13 Vintage Culture And Rooftime - I Will Find 00:09 Dvine - Unknown Reality 00:06 Topic Feat. Nico Santos - Home (Alle Farben Remix) 00:01 Eli Kazah - Return Home

[noethicalconsumptionunderdisney]

Ranked: Hannah Montana — Jake Ryan Episodes

Here we are at last: Jake Ryan.  I think you all probably could’ve seen this coming, but I had to keep you waiting (and gather my thoughts a bit).  Of Miley’s canon love interests, Jake (Leslie) Ryan is the one that gets the most screentime overall, and happens to be my personal favorite match for her, so it only makes sense to dedicate a Ranked post to him.  As per usual, I’ll be revealing these rankings from Worst->Best, in reverse-order of how much I liked them.

Which brings us to probably the most unambiguous “Worst” ever:

“The End of the Jake As We Know It” (Season Four)

Yeah.  Of all the episodes on this list, this is the only one I actively dislike.  I don’t think this one was too much of a shock to anyone, but let me talk about why anyway:

This is the first and only time Jake shows up in Season 4.  He’s barely shown in Season 3, which we’ll talk about a little more further down, but he really just seems to appear solely to be dragged through the mud, and then unceremoniously shooed out so Miley can ride off into the sunset with Jesse. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with them breaking up.  I wouldn’t be happy about it, but you could at least give a better reason— you’ve done it before!  Twice!  And there’s a perfectly good reason right there in front of them: they’ve been apart for a while, they liked each other as kids, but now that they’re getting older and growing into separate lives, they’re growing apart.  But no, let’s just have him randomly cheat on her, because that’s totally a satisfying conclusion to a multi-season arc.  Calling one of your most beloved recurring characters a dick for 30 minutes is peak comedy, amirite?

This is also the only time in Season 4 that Oliver is actually an important part of an episode? He shows up for like 5 minutes in the Finale, but really, the Season 4 episode where he has the most screentime is this one.  And while there’s nothing wrong with how Oliver is written here, it just makes a little extra mad, because most of his screentime is focused on this dumbass plot development.  I can’t help but think, They brought back my man for this?! on both counts.

But let’s move on to less loathsome episodes, shall we?

“He Could Be The One” (Season Three)

Okay, I might catch some shit for this.  I know. This episode’s very popular.  I am aware of that.  And I don’t actually hate this episode, like with the other one.  I like the song, I like Miley asserting herself to her dad when it comes to her dating life, Lilly and Oliver are on-point (although that does kind of apply to the last episode too), and I even liked most of the interactions between Miley and Jake.  That said, here’s why I’m ranking it so low:

THE ONLY REASON IT EXISTS IS TO SET MILEY UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Everything from the start of the episode to the weird reframing of Miley and Jake’s complicated past to the focus on Miley bonding with someone else, thinking about that someone else when she’s singing to Jake, talking about how she wants to kiss that someone else so badly except for the inconvenient fact that she’s with Jake, to the episode treating them like equivalent options that are just so hard to decide between despite she and Jesse barely knowing each other and having no history outside this episode… every bit of it is designed to make you like the other guy better and root for the other guy.  

And I guess if you haven’t watched the other episodes, or you have but it’s been awhile and you don’t remember them super-well, it’s easier to root for Jesse (ignoring all the problems that he himself has as a character, in this episode, even, but let’s not focus on that right now).  But this show can’t trick me that easily, sorry not sorry.

I “should” like this episode more, given that this is when they get back together, but they could’ve gotten them together differently.  Instead, we have Lilly berating Miley for going back to her ex after she rejects Jesse, we have Miley… tackling Jake?  Did anyone else find that odd?  Funny, yes, but weird as hell, and not really indicative of their dynamic.  And worst of all, we have them completely rewriting history and hoping we don’t notice.  It’s not respectful to list “we have so much history” as a reason to stay with Jake if you can’t be bothered to portray that history accurately.  So before we delve into that history a bit, let me make one thing abundantly clear:

Jake did not break Miley’s heart.  He’s also not the only one who’s ever fucked up or acted immaturely in their relationship. You wouldn’t know it from watching this, but she’s the one who broke up with him the only time they actually did date.  Yeah, it was kind of crappy of him to make her think he was marrying her friend so he could “Gotcha!” her on TV, and it wasn’t great of him to kiss her and then leave in Season 1, but that’s a far cry away from “breaking her heart.”  He literally never did.  The fact that they framed it that way is not only frustrating, but also some gross foreshadowing for what they ultimately did to his character later on.

That said, the way Jake actually is when he’s onscreen (i.e. when you look at how he actually acts and not just how other people are talking about him) is pretty in-character, funny even.  Miley and Jake still have their chemistry and their interactions are amazing apart from that weird tackling thing, and Jake reacting to the cat sweater was something I didn’t know I needed.  So objections aside, I do like this episode.  Just not as much as what’s to come.

“Jake… Another Little Piece of My Heart” (Season Three)

So while my previous entry was largely dedicated to explaining why it was ranked lower, this entry is going to be a defense of sorts, explaining why this episode, yeah might not be the best, but is a lot better than people remember, or at least is one I’m still very fond of.  

In Jake’s last appearance before this, Miley agreed to be “just friends” with him.  Here, we see them following up on that.  She calls him “one of [her] best friends,” and not only that, she shows that she knows him well enough to know why he, of all people, should not be getting married young.  “You change your phone plans every 6 weeks.”  How does she know this?  Because they kept in contact with each other.  They contact each other frequently enough for her to know that he changes his phone plan all the time.  They kept their promise!  They’re exes, yes, and there’s still tension there as we see in the end, but they genuinely do feel like friends, and not just like they’re awkwardly forcing it.

Miley is understandably pissed when he pranks her, but that’s only because she cares so much, and I do think there’s genuine concern there as a friend, even if she very likely was also jealous.  They’re comfortable around each other, they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better, and the hint that there’s still more lingering between them at the end is both promising and open-ended.  They don’t get back together right then… but they show that they could, because those feelings are still there, despite everything.

I wonder, though, if this episode would’ve worked better had it aired earlier.  We get indications that it was filmed earlier than some of the others, namely that scenes from it show up in the Opening Credits for that season, but for whatever reason, it didn’t air until much later.  I’m not sure why, but I do think things could’ve been better had they reintroduced her relationship with Jake (friendship with some lingering feelings) earlier on, had a few more “regular” episodes without him, and then given the two a proper arc later in the season rather than just one episode where they’re like, “We’re back together now!  But I also kind of like this other guy!  Oh no!” and then he’s not there the rest of the season.  But c’est la vie.  

Now onto the good stuff:

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

Honestly, the way the entire Season 1 arc unfolds with them is so natural and beautifully done, I almost don’t feel like it’s fair to dissect them individually and split them up based on personal favorites, because they work best in order and as a unit. But I still have my opinions.

I’ve expressed previously why I love Dolly Parton’s appearance here and why she kills it, but in terms of Miley’s development with Jake, this one remains the most stagnant and frustrating. Painfully realistic, of course, and very in-character for everyone, but of all the Season 1 Jake episodes, this is the one that has the least Jake in it?  Which is not really why I’m ranking it lower, but it does put their dynamic into generic “girl clearly likes guy but is too proud and scared to admit her feelings” territory.  Which is necessary for their story to develop, but isn’t as fun as the episodes where we actually see why she hasn’t been “falling all over him” up to this point (meaning, her aversion to his personality).  And we pretty much end the episode right where we started: once again, Miley’s pining over him, wants to express her feelings for him, but feels like she can’t… only now she’s got a more solid reason not to.

“More Than A Zombie To Me” (Season One)

I was torn at first between this one and the Dolly one, but I ranked this one higher for a few reasons. For one, the storyline is a bit more complex and nuanced.  Lilly teases Miley for being in denial of her feelings for Jake, Miley rejects him when he asks her out… but then Hannah Montana has to kiss him.  She makes a case for why she shouldn’t have to kiss him… only to realize she wanted to when they actually listen to her.  Jake respects her “no” and asks someone else… only for her to realize she wanted him after all.  Miley fights with Lilly for Jake’s affections… only for her to realize that her friendship with Lilly is more important than whether or not she “gets the guy.”  

Beat for beat, Miley is always one step behind, not because she’s stupid, but because she has too much pride to see what’s right in front of her, to acknowledge her own feelings.  It’s not the most pleasant characterization for Miley, but it is very telling characterization, and it paints an interesting picture of her and her relationships to both Jake and Lilly— that she genuinely wants to mean what she says and say what she means, but her pride makes it harder for her to figure out what she actually wants.  She genuinely wants to be a decent, down-to-earth person, but sometimes she’s too self-centered to realize how she’s coming off and how she might be hurting others.

What’s most interesting here, though, is Lilly’s characterization and development in the Jake arc.  In this episode and the one before it, she’s among the girls who are “falling all over” Jake, even continuing to say “Sup” to him because he said it to her once like it’s their “special thing.”  She alternates between starstruck awe over Jake and amusement over Miley’s aversion to him, teasing Miley that she may be protesting too much, and shamelessly drooling all over him to Miley’s annoyance.  After this episode, we see her being the supportive friend and #1 Shipper On Deck for Jake and Miley… then firmly against Jake and Miley together after they break up the first time, and from that point on, genuinely over Jake and wanting what’s best for her best friend.  

But this episode… this is where we see the switch.  This is where we see Lilly giving Miley a fair shot, then taking Jake for herself when the opportunity presents itself.  This is where we see her doing something for herself for once and going beyond that “best friend” role… only to realize it’s not meant to be. That Jake only ever had eyes for Miley. That she was the canned fruit cup he settled for after all.  It’s painful and heartbreaking, and perhaps a less strong friendship wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but theirs does.  Because Lilly does.  Because Lilly knows that whatever Miley says, being with Jake would make her happy, and Jake wants Miley more than anyone else.  And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to help them be happy together… even if it means she doesn’t get the guy herself.  I think Lilly’s role in all this is so underrated, and she deserves massive credit for the maturity and development she displays here.

And of course, we have more characterization for Jake, where he’s… very much himself, but also better than Miley initially gives him credit for.  Yeah, he’s still hiding behind his ego and bravado, and he does initially say Miley must’ve been nervous to reject him when he asks her out a second time on the beach, but we also see him accepting that she doesn’t like him back (or so he thinks).  We see that he’s sweet to Hannah as a coworker, and then he confides in her that he likes Miley because she’s “cute, funny, smart, down-to-earth,” and because she sees him as a person, not as a superstar. I do think “moving on” from Miley by asking out her best friend, right in front of her, is kind of a dick move (or possibly a jealousy play), and he could’ve made a little more of an effort to be loyal to Lilly as she was his date, rather than being so obvious that he preferred Miley, but overall, I think this is a good episode for developing Jake as someone with hidden depths, and someone Miley could realistically fall for.  

(Also, the subplot is comedy gold from start to finish.)

“People Who Use People” (Season One)

Their first kiss! Yeah, there’s no getting around it: this one’s amazing.  Their banter is just on point from beginning to end.  We have a continuation of Jake and Hannah’s pleasant costar relationship, a continuation of Miley’s ever-more-obvious feelings for Jake, and we have a culmination of the tension between the two in an incredible scene. Once again, this does one of my favorite things: it turns the narrative on its head.  We know Miley used Willis to make Jake jealous, but now it’s revealed that Jake was doing the same thing with Holly all along.

“Holly?  She’s not my girlfriend.  We have a movie coming out, so we’ve been hanging out, it’s a publicity thing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

“Uhhh… well…  I-I think I—”

“Wait a minute, I know why.  Because you were trying to make me jealous.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.  Admit it, Jake, you like me.”

“No, you like me, just say it.”

“No, you say it!”

“No, you!”

“No, you!”

*cue Big Damn Kiss*

They spar with each other like this all episode, meeting each other on the same level beat for beat. And Lilly eating popcorn in the background and falling off her chair?  Let’s not lie to ourselves, we were all Lilly in this moment.  Ultimately, this isn’t the story of “how they got together,” because Jake leaves for a movie, but even that makes some sense.  He feels good that he got to kiss her before he left and doesn’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, she feels angry that he kissed her when he knew he’d be leaving soon, and ultimately his acting career comes before him having a normal life, as it always sort of has, which unfortunately means it also has to come before Miley.  But once again, we have an open ending, a clear “not now” rather than a “never,” and a question to be potentially answered in the future: Will They, Might They, and Would It Work Out?  And of course, what’s next?

But before we get into that, let’s talk about where it all began:

#3: “New Kid in School” (Season One)

Who doesn’t love a good First Meeting, especially one that starts off with two prospective lovers starting off on the wrong foot?  What I love about them starting off on the wrong foot here, though, is that it’s not really due to misunderstandings.  On the contrary, Miley is the only person who knows exactly what’s going on— even better than Jake does, I’d argue, because he doesn’t even realize how arrogant he comes across, and Miley’s the only one willing to call him out on it.

This isn’t even particularly a shippy episode, apart from “Also, he thinks I’m cute, not that I care,” but I’d argue it’s better because it establishes them as characters first, and as Foils.  Both of them are celebrities attending normal school and who, in theory, want to be treated like normal kids, but while Jake talks the talk and still gets everything he wants, Miley walks the walk and has to lose her celebrity privileges in exchange for peace and privacy.  It’s understandable that Miley feels she’s gotten the short end of the stick, and it’s only later, after she’s opened her big mouth of course, when Jake confides in her that sometimes he really does wish he could be normal, it’s only then that she realizes she’s the lucky one.  

But of course it’s not too late for her, it’s too early in the show for that!  So we see her family coming together in this hilarious scene where they pretend they’re all crazy celebrity-impersonators.  As a side note, I like to think they didn’t buy the Elvis costume for this, but that Jackson just had it lying around already and was itching for an excuse to use it.  (Maybe he was Elvis for a previous Halloween, idk.)

In any case, the reason I rank this higher is that even though it doesn’t show that Miley and Jake like each other all that much, it shows why they could like each other, which in my opinion is more important.  I mean, ideally, you’d have both, but this does a good job of introducing Jake as someone who seems like just another egotistical celebrity Miley can’t stand, but underneath that, is someone who just might understand what she goes through better than anyone, and Miley is the perfect person to understand him right back.  

#2: “That’s What Friends Are For?” (Season Two)

The return of not one, but two iconic guest stars in the best and worst way: together.  Months after their breakup, Miley finds Jake at her doorstep after sparring with Mikayla, and is sure he’s only there to get her back… but he just wants to be friends.  Great!  Good, no drama!  That’s exactly what she wanted… right?

Even better, he invites her on the set of a talk show so he can reveal his new movie… and his new costar, her archrival Mikayla.  The worst part is, he chose Mikayla out of courtesy.  He doesn’t know Hannah and Mikayla hate each other, because they act friendly when they’re on-camera.  He did it because he values his relationship with Miley, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by inviting her to play his love interest.  And Miley… well, we all know Miley isn’t as okay with this as she pretends to be, and it only becomes more apparent as the episode goes on.

What I love about this is the role reversal this puts them in.  For once, Jake is the one being mature, and Miley is the one that needs to apologize and grow, and admits it.  It’s framed that way and everything.  It’s almost bittersweet to watch, because this was such a good step for them, and probably the most mature episode involving the two. To see them go backwards in development after this, to see Jake be raked through the coals by the writers, all that good will between them forgotten and retconned and burned to hell later on, there’s just something very bitterly tragic about it.  This episode was so important for them, not just as a relationship, but as people, and I wish that good will they had towards each other had remained and gotten a proper follow-up.

Of course, this was itself an excellent follow-up to…

#1: “Achy Jakey Heart” (Season Two)

Was it ever even a question? Jake Ryan returns in glorious fashion: falling from the sky, in a tux, down on one knee begging Miley’s forgiveness, with chocolates from the sky.  Say what you will, that man knows his way around a Big Romantic Gesture.  And he doesn’t stop there: muffins, “Jake steak,” a cardboard cutout, and barging in the front door in a literal knight costume, he asks what more he can do.   More importantly, he says, “You’ve dumped stuff on me, and you’ve yelled at me.  The one thing you haven’t done is tell me you don’t care about me.  Tell me that, and I’ll go away.”  Even after all this, he’s willing to respect her if the answer is “no.”  He just wants to make sure it’s “no” because she doesn’t want him, and not because she doesn’t believe he cares for her.  He does care for her, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.  

He gets tested for this pretty much right away, fails in private, and then passes in public when Miley least expects him to.  After telling Miley he can’t take her to a movie premiere because he’s pretending to date his costar, he rejects his costar on live TV to confess his love for Miley.  He doesn’t do it expecting her to come back, rather, he admits his fault and accepts that for him, there’s no happy ending.  And Miley responds in the best way possible, showing up with a “Who says real life doesn’t have happy endings?” and a Big Damn Kiss of her own.

This is also when they confide in each other.  Jake tells her his real name is Leslie, and Miley tells him she’s Hannah Montana.  They’re vulnerable with each other for the first time in their relationship, and they understand each other better than ever. Unfortunately, it’s understanding, or lack thereof, that also leads to their demise.  

Jake wants to be a normal guy, or at least he thinks he does.  Miley feels to a certain extent that she is a normal girl, just a normal girl who happened to get famous.  And that disconnect, that difference hurts them.  Miley realizes that Jake doesn’t actually know what it’s like to be normal, and having to be with someone who can’t handle one night of it, as well as the pressure of being famous as Miley too, is what finally cracks them open.  I will say she could’ve handled it a lot better, and good on Jake for calling her out on her lack of communication, but in the end, their relationship is left with a mutual understanding: that Jake respects her secret, listened to what she had to say, and wants to improve.  Not so that he can get her back, but so that he can be “worthy of someone as terrific as” her.  

This also has ONE OF THE BEST SUBPLOTS OF ALL TIME.  Cheese jerky?  Capitalist commentary?  Jackson rolling in money and Rico being mad about it? Oliver and Jackson doing a rap together? Are you not entertained?  Like its main plot, this does end up reverting to the status quo by the end, but it’s done in a way that’s both crushingly realistic and brutally hilarious.  Overall, this episode?  One for the ages.

So there it is— every Jake Ryan episode, ranked.  I have a whole ton more I could say about Jake Ryan, Miley Stewart, and their overall dynamic (and probably will, this week lol nope), but I feel like this is a decent start that outlines my opinions in quite a bit of detail.  While not a perfect couple by any means, they sure as hell made the screen a lot more interesting.  And hey, the course of true love never did run smooth, why should they be any different?

[ee-to-the-mah-to-the]

NO, because whoa— Jake and Q were not as bad as Robby and Frank made them out to be. Yeah, the boys were kinda annoying but nowhere NEAR as annoying as the fathers were 🙄

[disneylife0463]

[tellmeastorytblr]

You know most of the time I’m the kind of person who’ll be like “ ship and let ship”. Sure I like to write essays in my head about why I don’t like a certain ship, but you’ll rarely see me criticized the shippers themselves for liking a ship I don’t like (unless the ship is rooted in misogyny, homophobia, racism...). That’s why reading things like “ how can you ship her with him when he has made her so sad” or don’t you care about her happiness” when talking about rina bothers me. It just feel like some of you are trying to make us feel guilty for liking them and i’m just like, why? Especially knowing that he’s not actually hurting her on purpose at all.

I don’t know for other rina shippers, so I’m strictly speaking for myself when I say this : I live for drama, that’s why I ship them for the most part. Like, I love to be entertained, I love angst, tension, yearning, all that sh*t and that what rina gives me. It’s really not that deep. Yes, I care about her happiness, but my happiness and my entertainment come first, in this case, and if in order for me to be entertained, Gina has to suffer a little bit, then be it. The same goes for Ricky, especially for Ricky actually because  I was never a big fan of him to begin with so, seeing his suffer I little, but also grow from it give me a buzz. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t think so. But that’s the thing tho. Some people are acting as if it does, which is deeply annoying. You don’t deserve a medal just because you happen to ship the “healthiest” option in a love triangle. I don’t know why certain people are acting as if they do. 

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

The earliest times TV writers betrayed me was: first, when they had Jackie and Hyde break up in “That 70′s Show” for the rest of the show’s run; and in the eighth season Jackie fell in love with Fez and they got together. (Sorry but that’s just lazy writing)

- The second time was when Jake Ryan cheated on Miley Stewart  in “Hannah Montana” (Like who the hell are you kidding? You can’t have her choose him at the end of a special episode called “HE COULD BE THE ONE” and then he cheats on her! That’s just idiotic writing!)

[gruviyasharuto]

I have a lot more but I picked the ones that stood out the most for me

Okay, FUCKERS, it’s time to expose yourselves for the FILTHY SINNERS you are and put your favorite hetero ship in the tags!!