#which doesn't actually mean they make no noise it just means the noises they make are different and somehow even more comedic
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paperyowl · 2 days ago
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This is a weird ask. Feel free to ignore it.
But post breakup Buck staring at Rockon thinking Tommy has a date with this hot silver daddy (he ain't blind) and confronted them cos he's jealous to find out he was wrong. They bought him home for either a threesome (cos David never had one) or maybe just cuddles cos looks at the sad puppy and doting on Buck.
(what buck doesn't know is that Donovan is Tommy's cousin with a hilarious sense of humor who texted him the very next day to collect his man cos he ain't sharing his daddy with his cousin's ex no matter how pretty he is)
It's not weird at all. I love the idea! And I have two vastly different thoughts for this - lets go with this one for now. (I might have changed it a little bit - but I definitely need that threesome happening sometime still.)
+++
Pick up, idiot.
Calling me names doesn't make me want to talk to you more.
Tommy dropped his phone somewhere on the couch, not really bothering to check where it fell. He was not in the mood for his cousin's antics. His week had been so busy that Tommy was aching in more places than he knew he could. Maybe was is getting too old for this job.
Or perhaps he'd been slacking. Not eating well, not sleeping enough. These days, Tommy is usually good at taking care of himself. A hard-learnt habit, but he'd put in the work.
Not that it mattered now when his mind kept circling back to the rather sweet sentiment of someone saying, 'You don't have to do everything by yourself' and 'I'll take care of you'.
It was a certain someone with those impossibly warm baby blues that Tommy was trying very hard not to think about. (And failing miserably.) He deserved this. After all, he'd been the one to implode what they had.
His phone kept buzzing. After the third or fourth time - which frankly was ridiculous Don, what the fuck, get a life - Tommy hunted it down in the cushions and unlocked it.
Only to almost drop it when he saw the last message was a photo of -
"Hi, cuz," Donovan drawled, sounding deeply satisfied with himself. But Tommy wasn't focused on that at all.
"How do you have a photo of Evan? Is he there with you? Why is he with you?"
"Okay, first of all, ouch, I think I'm insulted-"
"Donovan."
Tommy heard his own voice rise and wondered since his fuse had become this short. Then he remembered that Donovan had always had this way of riling him up. That's why they hadn't talked in months. They'd been fighting about something; Tommy couldn't really remember what it had been about.
"Figured that pic would get you to call me," Donovan said. "No 'Hello, my favourite cousin, how are you doing?' It's nice to hear you, too, you know."
"Don't be mean, Rocker," another voice said in the background, one that Tommy didn't know. Or actually, he might - he'd heard it once before, and now he could remember what the fight had been about. But his focus was somewhere else completely.
"Hi. How are you. It's been too long. I miss you - is Evan okay?"
Donovan laughed at the way only one of those sentences ended in a note high enough to count as a question. Tommy hissed his name again, and finally got a 'yeah, yeah, alright.' before the phone was handed off to -
"Hi," Evan said softly. He sounded like he'd been crying. His sniffeling was hard on Tommy. "Your cousin and his partner are nice."
Tommy couldn't help but scoff. "Maybe they're doppelgängers."
There is a momentary pause, and Tommy is almost certain that the rustling he hears is a bit of a grapple for the phone. But it's still Evan on the other end when the noise dies down.
"I wouldn't know about that," Evan said. "You never mentioned them."
Fuck.
"Evan-"
"So we're back to Evan?"
"Bu-"
"Don't," Evan pleaded. "Just. Don't."
"Want me to go and rough him up a little? I still remember where he lives."
Donovan's offer sounded weak, and Tommy could imagine the way he had probably put a hand on Evan's shoulder. Or his back.
Evan didn't exactly laugh, but it was similar enough. The sound still unravelled something in Tommy's chest.
"Can we talk in person?"
"I'd like that," Evan breathed. "Just maybe not tonight?"
"Of course. Do you want me to text-"
"I'll take over from here," Donovan said, and Tommy vaguely heard the muffled noise of the receiver being covered. He checked his watch, aware that whatever conversation happened on their end took less than a minute, but to Tommy, it felt like ages more.
"You free tomorrow? Wanna come over for lunch?" Donovan asked without any lead-up, startling Tommy a little. "I somehow think you have a bit more of a reason to say 'yes' this time."
Tommy huffed a laugh.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm free," he said. "Is he alright?"
"Are you going to stop being an idiot?"
"Don."
Donovan sighed. "Listen, I know it's not really my place, but I know you, and I can make an educated guess what happened here."
"I don't like you," Tommy groused.
And like the total bastard that he was, Donovan only laughed and responded, "But you love him."
Like that was a normal thing to say. Tommy spluttered.
"Just be here tomorrow at noon, I'll cook" Donovan completely ignored Tommy's rather childish comment, 'You can cook?' and just went on. "And I'll introduce you to Deacon."
"The ominous partner that you wouldn't tell me more about when I asked?"
That was a rather shortened version of the outright shouting match of a phone call that they'd had all those weeks ago. There had been a lot of implications about very different, and Donovan wouldn't even tell him the name of the man who had him all secretive.
It was easy to read between the lines, and perhaps Tommy had been protective in exactly the wrong way. But he'd never been able to help that when it came to Donovan. The only family member that Tommy cared about.
"He just filed for divorce," Donovan told him. Tommy hissed in sympathy, starting to apologize for the whole fight, but Donovan went on: "And you wouldn't believe the things he can do with his tong-"
"Shut up."
Donovan kept laughing at him, and Tommy felt too exhausted to do something about it. And perhaps a little relieved.  
"Noon, you said?"
He might have only imagined it, but Donovan softened a little after that. But he proved he was still an absolute asshole when he yelled out, 'Hey Evan, say goodnight to your daddy,' and like the absolute cheeky brat he was, Evan did just that. (Tommy almost choked on his own spit, but after hanging up, he felt like he could breathe properly for the first time in months.)
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just-wrting · 3 days ago
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Think I Like You
Title: Think I Like You
Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Half Mink!Reader
Word Count: 4.1k
Master List
Summary: You try to figure out why Zoro won’t take you seriously even if the answer isn’t what you expect.
A/N: I’m not dead! I’m just all over the place with a lot of stuff. I sleep a lot which I can’t tell if it’s a sleep issue or a depression issue, but I’m always tired. I still work full time but also do school part time now. Plus I’ve still got a boyfriend! But he wanted to end this weekend on 1062 which means Zoro brainrot for me.
You stretch and roll over, burying your face into your pillow. Ever since you changed where you nap, you've started sleeping so much better. Something about being more comfortable or something like that. The actual reason doesn't really matter. You're just happy you're sleeping better.
"You owe me for this."
"I don't owe you shit. Not my fault you nap in my spot." You reach up and pat his cheek. "What do I need to do for you to be quiet?"
"I already told you, you owe me."
You open your eyes just a little. "What could I possibly owe you? I don't like to drink, I don't keep money, not to mention I can't even tell if you're the type of man to be swayed by physical charms. What could I possibly offer you, Roronoa?"
"For starters, you can start referring to me by my name like everyone else does." He looks pissed. "You should fight me."
"You didn't take me seriously last time, Moss Head. Why would I bother trying again?"
He pulls on your ear. "I said like everyone else, not like how that idiot says my name."
You ignore him and bury your nose in his stomach. Dinner has been started, and if you don't ignore it you'll end up going to the kitchen early. It's less that Sanji minds seeing you, it's more of the fact that you struggle to suppress the urge to knock shit off the counter and dip your fingers in the sauces. Such is the life of someone like you.
You let yourself doze a little. You can still hear what's going on, but just like every common house cat, you ignore it. What you can't ignore is the gentle scratching behind your ears. As far as you remember, no one has done this since you were a kid. You don't hate the feeling, but you start to feel flustered over it. Ever since you left home, you've made sure affection comes at your own terms so you haven't had this in years.
There's no point in asking him to stop. You're clearly fond enough of him to nap on him, what's the big deal about getting ear scratches? Besides, he's the type to get embarrassed and loud if you point out you're awake. That's not something you feel like dealing with right now. You're too touch starved to complain.
Despite the comfortable conditions, you don't actually fall asleep. You spend the next forty-ish minutes pretending to sleep, waiting for dinner to be done. The time passes by relatively quickly, though you're sore afterwards. You couldn't bring yourself to even twitch, worried that he'd stop.
The dinner call goes off, and you pretend to wake up. You have no clue why you're acting, but it was too late to stop twenty minutes ago. Standing up, you stretch halfheartedly. At first, he doesn't say anything. It's only once he catches up to you that he starts asking questions.
"What's the deal with the noise you make?"
Raising an eyebrow, you look at him. "I don't snore, so I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I'm not stupid, I can tell you aren't snoring. The other noise, the one that's relaxing. I can usually feel it when you're laying directly on me."
"What do you mean? The other noise?" You pause to think it over before it clicks. "We aren't talking about that."
You know what he's referring to. It's not like it's something you can control, but it's still embarrassing. Of all people to be you around, it's been Zoro. No one on the crew has judged you for being what you are, it's just embarrassing to be a mix. Your mother's human, and your dad's a mink. You look decently human, just with a few quirks.
"What do you mean, we aren't talking about it? We're talking about it right now."
Your face starts to heat up. "I mean I don't want to tell you."
His eyes narrow in suspicion. "Why not? Is it supposed to be embarrassing or something?"
"If I say yes, will you drop it?"
"Yeah, sure."
His face instantly relaxes. If you could smack him, you would. The last time you tried, it hurt. So you put your hand on his shoulder and give him a push. The only thing it does is cause his other shoulder to hit the doorframe, but you use it to march past him.
You take your seat, leaning back against the armrest of the booth seat. Kicking your feet up on the space next to you, you watch the crew carefully. Everyone is smiling and in a good mood, so you don't have anything to worry about. You don't ever admit it, but you care about them even if it's difficult to show.
Zoro picks up your legs and lays them in his lap. Since it doesn't seem to bother him, you're tempted to just sit normally. You have no idea what's going on in that head of his, and you doubt he does either. However, you actually do enjoy touching him, so you'll stay like this for now.
There's more commotion as Sanji brings out the plates. The one you're most interested in is a large tuna fillet that gets set in the middle of the table. You can't stop staring at it, the tender flesh a beautiful golden color. It's hard to tell if it smells better than it looks or looks better than it smells. Sanji has never failed to impress you with his dishes, so you can't wait to sink your teeth in.
Before you can even start to load your plate, Sanji sets a small plate in front it you. It contains a disk of packed rice, some avocado slices, and chunks of fish. You're assuming it's more of the tuna. Whatever it is, it was made specifically for you.
You don't mind the special dishes. You'll try almost everything, and unlike Luffy, you'll eat it slow enough to give a review. Everything tastes good so you don't get the point, but it probably makes Sanji feel better to have honest reviews and not just someone who loves food fawning over his cooking. Though if you're not careful, you worry that he'll start having write an essay about it.
"And for you, a special tune tartare! If you like it, I'll make it again for everyone some time."
You nod. "Yeah, I'll let you know. I always do. Not that you've ever made a bad dish."
You can't stop the tip of your tail from flicking back and forth in mild annoyance. By the time you get halfway through the tartare, all of the fillet is gone. It's not like it's the biggest deal, you just wish you could've had some of that too. It's not fair that since you got a special tuna dish, that you don't get the other one.
"If you tell me what that noise was, I'll share," Zoro teases while pointing at you with a bite of tuna. "I bet you can't resist answering now."
"I'm a cat. I was making a normal noise that cats make. Consider it a compliment."
You lean forward and take the bite of tuna. It's flakey and melts on your tongue with a slightly sticky glaze that has hints of honey and garlic. You lick your lips savoring the balance of flavors. None of them are overwhelming, but it's hard to gauge in just one bite what you think about it.
"You can't just," Zoro stutters. "You can't just take the food off of my chopsticks. Get your own!"
You grab his wrist and lick the glaze off of the chopsticks. It feels like there's another flavor there that you can't quite tell what it is. It's some sort of herby flavor, that while you enjoy, you can't pin down.
"Here!" Zoro doesn't look at you as he shoves his plate towards you. "Just take it since I don't want your germs."
You want to tease him, but you'll leave him alone. It's better to leave it in front of other people since Robin's insinuations are becoming too much. For now you'll just eat the food. Later, you'll tease him.
—-
"You're still not taking me seriously, Roronoa. Why did you want to fight if you won't take me seriously?"
You lunge, hand reaching for his throat. He blocks it with his arm, causing your claws to dig into his skin. Using his arm as leverage, you pull yourself closer to him, swinging your sword at his side. His parry is effortless, and he looks bored. It's so aggravating that he won't take you seriously in a simple sparring match. Perhaps he'd take you more seriously if you actually tried to kill him.
You disengage before leaping over him. This time, you swing your sword at his neck as he turn around. It's once more blocked, and he smirks. You're just barely faster than him as he takes a halfhearted swing at your sword arm with his other arm. You catch the flat of the blade with your knuckles, steeling your arm against the shock wave of the blow.
Kicking your leg out in front of you, you aim for his knees, intending to bring him down. Despite the grip on his sword, he catches your ankle in his hand and pulls your leg to the side. You let your body pivot with the movement, twisting until your leg is behind you. You yank your foot forward as hard as you can, pulling him into your back.
He's quick to let your ankle go and grab your shoulder to steady himself. In a fluid motion, you swing your arm and grab your dagger. You flick it in your fingers and thrust towards his ribs. His hand trails down your arm to your wrist and pins it behind your back. He gives it a squeeze trying to get you to drop the dagger.
"Are you actually trying to kill him?" Nami tells from the side. "Are you stupid?"
You roll your eyes, sweeping your leg behind you and hooking Zoro's. Despite your efforts, you can't get him off balance, only causing him to take a step back. By now you're getting pissed off. You aren't a bad swordsman, it's just that this jerk is ridiculously smart in battle. This is probably the only time he'll use his brain all day.
You jerk your head back, hitting his jaw. The sound of the impact makes you regret it, knowing you'll feel like shit later. You manage to free yourself as he loosens his grip, and you elbow him as you twist back around. The only reason you're still going is because he won't take it seriously. It's like he finds it funny that he's able to fend you off so easily.
You rush towards him, tossing your weapons to the ground. Digging your claws into his shoulders, you use your momentum to knock him over. It only works because he's too busy rubbing his jaw to notice you in time. The two of you tumble to the deck, and you lean in as close as you can.
"Why won't you take me seriously? Is this just a game?"
Faster than you can blink, he's able to flip and pin you under him. He's even more smug than the last time you sparred, and you can't tell if you want to smack him or if you should kiss him. Not that you could smack him, he's got your hands above your head. While kissing him would let you win, you're not willing to fight that dirty in a friendly match.
"You're a brute, Zoro. You can't just manhandle the other crewmates just because you feel like it." Sanji pulls him off you. "If you were in the mood to fight I would've taken the offer."
You tune out their fight as Chopper checks your head and shoulder. You're a bit sore now, but you'll be fine in a few hours. Nothing keeps you down for long, even if it's usually just you going against the doctor's orders. The only thing actually bothering you is the fact that for a moment you thought he was going to answer your question. Though the fact you thought about kissing him is also an issue.
It's not difficult to figure out why you thought that way. Your parents made sure that you knew to find someone strong enough to protect you in case of something happening, even if you knew how to take care of yourself. That, and he's easy on the eyes. Even if he's an idiot half of the time, that doesn't matter. Your parents never said to find a smart man, just a strong one. Everything else was your choice.
Chopper hands you a damp towel, and you use to clean under your claws. Tiny spots of blood rest under them, probably from when you grabbed Zoro. If the pinprick wounds bothered him, he doesn't show it. He's too busy trying to shove Sanji off the boat. As long as you stay dry, it doesn't matter if they end up overboard. They can both swim.
After a few minutes, Nami separates them. You watch her glare at the men before you stalk off to take another nap. The sun is just starting to dip below the water, so finding a nice patch of sun to lick your figurative wounds isn't possible. You'll have to settle for sulking in some weird spot. Perhaps it's time to torment the fish in the tank once more.
Lounging on the sofa is probably the second best place to nap. The sound of the tank constantly humming while you watch the fish swim in tempting circles puts you at ease. You stretch out fully, let your arm and tail hang off the edge. The tip of your tails twitches slightly as you trace the movement of a particularly large bass. That should be tomorrow's lunch, perhaps in a stew. Even though it hasn't been long since you had food, your mouth starts to water at the idea of seafood stew.
"He really doesn't take you seriously, does he?"
You recognize Robin before she even speaks. Her stride is longer than Nami's with her steps being lighter than everyone else's. Not to mention she smells floral. It's never overpowering, but it allows you to pick her out from the crew.
"I guess not. Maybe I should've gone for his other eye."
She laughs, sitting down next to you. You aren't opposed to the company, especially if it's Robin. There something about her that puts you at ease.
"I don't think he'd like that," she muses. "What did he say to you?"
You scoff. "He didn't say anything. Bet he's too proud to take me seriously, like the jerk he is."
Robin smiles knowingly. "I'm sure he has his reasons. Maybe you should talk to him, just the two of you. I'm sure he'd tell you when no one else is around."
You frown. "What is he? A shy school boy? There's only one reason for not taking me seriously in a fight, and it would be him not thinking I'm even worth it. No point in having him tell me that in private, he can just keep it to himself."
She reaches out her hand, gently brushing your hair from your eyes. "Then what do you think about him?"
"I think he's an idiot who swapped out his brain for more muscles."
"Let me rephrase that. What feelings do you have about him?" There's a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "At least figure that out."
You shift so you can place your head in her lap. "I guess he's fine most of the time. I don't know why I enjoy his company, I just do. He's never really pushed me on anything, just sort of letting me do my own thing. Not to mention he's comfortable. As much as I hate admitting it, I suppose I like being around him."
She continues to brush your hair with her fingers silently. It's one of those tactics of hers. She'll stay quiet until you keep talking.
"What do you want me to say? He's nice enough to me, I can respect him as vice-captain, and he's decent looking. Everything else I think about him is my little secret." You're starting to get irritated talking about him. "Actually, I think I'll go talk to him now. I'll drag that answer out of him if I have to."
Robin looks at you with worry as you sit up. "Perhaps this is just a misunderstanding. What are you going to do if his answer isn't what you expect?"
"I'll deal with it when it happens," you say with a shrug. "It's not like it'll be anything surprising."
You take your time wandering around the ship. It's not hard to tell where he is, you'd rather put it off for a little bit longer. This weird feeling in your chest has been bothering you a lot lately. It can't be ignored anymore, but that doesn't mean you're one hundred percent ready to admit it.
Thankfully, he's exactly where you knew he was. You won't tell him that you enjoy finding him when he's working out. Something about him being shirtless is nice. Not that he usually bothers with wearing a shirt, so you can usually just stare whenever you want. Maybe he just likes the attention, and you'll gladly give it to him.
As soon as he leans back on the bench, you sit on his lap and stretch out over his torso. You rest your chin on your hand, pressing your palm on his chest. Watching as he sets the barbell back on the stand, you wait for him to start talking. It would be fine with you if he kept working out, but he seems opposed to the idea.
"Is bothering me amusing to you?"
You tilt your head slightly. "You're not cute when you're mad, so no. I was just hoping we could talk."
"You don't have to sit on me to talk."
"That's just personal preference. Besides, you tend to avoid talking about certain things and this keeps you from leaving." you say with a Cheshire grin. "I enjoy your touch, so this is ideal for me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Zoro looks away from you. “You keep saying weird stuff.”
You don’t even blink as you respond, “I enjoy your touch. That’s what that means. I’ll even be nice and tell you the answer to your question from earlier. As a cat, I sometimes purr when I feel comfortable and content. Though some cats purr when scared.”
“So you’re scared of me? Is that what that means?”
“No. The only thing particularly scary about you is the fact that you’re an idiot.” Your ears twitch. “But since I answered your questions, you can answer mine. Why don’t you fight me seriously?”
He looks at you for just a moment, before looking at the ceiling. It’s like he’s embarrassed by the answer and is hoping you’ll forget about it. However, you’ve already made up your mind about what you want. You’re just waiting to see what he’ll do.
“I-,” Zoro cuts himself off to hide behind his hand. “I could hurt you really bad. That would be bad.”
Your tail swishes on the ground in mild irritation. “So you think I’m incapable of defending myself. That would explain the times you’ve interrupted my fights.”
“It’s not that!” He sits up, wrapping an arm around your waist to make sure you don’t tumble to the ground. “I don’t want you to get hurt if I’m around. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe.”
You’re nose to nose with him now. Even at this distance, he can’t seem to make eye contact. You can smell the liquor from dinner on his breath. It would be so easy to close the gap and kiss him, but for some reason the thought makes you nervous. You’re usually close to him, so why is this time different?
“Why should you keep me safe?” you mumble. “Do you save me out of obligation for the crew? If so, aren’t there better people on the crew to swoop in and save?”
“Does it matter why?” The way that his lips almost touch yours as he speaks makes you flustered.
You close your eyes. “Yes. I don’t want to get my hopes up if you think of me as nothing more than a burden of a crew-mate. Just be honest with me for once, Zoro.”
You don’t regret the soft begging tone as you say his name. You regret not saying his name in that almost pathetic tone sooner. The way that he kisses you makes your head spin. Even though he’s holding you close, you have to wrap your arms around his neck to make yourself feel more steady.
Zoro kisses you like he’s been wanting to for months. His hold on your waist makes it impossible to move, and the way that his hand grips yours hair makes you moan. You can barely breathe as his tongue explores your mouth, your grip on reality slipping as his fingers dig into thigh.
Even when he pulls away to let you breathe, you find yourself lost in the way he touches you. Sloppy kisses trail down your jaw and neck, coming to an end with his teeth on your collarbone. The way that his fingernails scrape gently against your scalp as he tugs lightly on your hair causes you to expose more of your chest to him as you lean into his palm.
You’ve never felt like this before. Hot, heavy, and breathless all while being lightheaded. You wouldn’t have it in you to resist him if he wanted more. In fact, the pathetic words of begging him to ravish you weigh heavy on your tongue. Yet he just continues to press kisses along every inch of skin exposed to him, ignoring how hard you’re panting as little moans escape you. He’s oblivious to everything but the act of kissing you.
Zoro only pauses after you tug his hair harshly. You didn’t mean to, you couldn’t help the reaction to him biting down on the side of your neck. You couldn’t even help the strangled groan that leaves you as he leaves a mark. For some reason, your body is shaking like you have some sort of withdrawal.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice rough and low.
You kiss him again, desperate to get as close as you can. Desperation courses through your body as you realize just how badly you’ve waited for this. You’ve spent months being almost attached to him so it makes sense, you just can’t figure out how you missed it. The long nights spent curled up in his lap, face buried in his neck has left you craving him so much.
You whine as he pulls away, unwilling to let this stop. It doesn’t even matter anymore how prideful you’ve been up until this. It’s so obvious how much you want him. Nothing could hide it anymore.
“Zoro.” You don’t even open your eyes. “Please.”
He gives your thigh a tight squeeze as you whimper. You can tell that what little restraint he has is fading with each whine of his name. Yet he’s able to pause and hold you close, breathing heavily into your ear. Eventually, he covers your mouth with his hand, stifling your words.
“Not like this,” Zoro says, his tone meaning he’s serious. “If you really want it, I want to make it special.”
“S-special?” You don’t know what that means. When was the last time someone told you that you were special? “How?”
“Just better than in the exercise room on the Sunny. You deserve to be treated better than that.”
You nod, and he lets his grip loosen. Despite the fact that nothing much happened, you feel drained. Maybe it’s because you really enjoy naps, but the exhaustion is hitting you hard. You don’t hide it, letting yourself go limp as Zoro picks you up.
“You can sleep in my bunk tonight. Not that it matters if I say you can as you usually show up anyway.”
You caress him jaw before giving his cheek a kiss. “Thank you, Zoro.”
The flush on his cheeks goes unnoticed by all beside you. Not that it matters, you don’t want to hide your feelings for him any longer. If he agrees to it, you’ll parade your feelings for the world to see.
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b1asho · 1 day ago
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Some noises/stuff on their voice:
As said in the image, Prectikar all sound like theyre masculine to humans when speaking through their nose. Only male prectikar have a larger throat sac and special flaps in it to make their shrieks/barks/etc, females can only really do like a dog bark noise or the grumbles and soft-speak. As for the animals I included, Prectikar can't roar (yes that means they can purr) but they make a lot of other bear-like chuffs and snuffles. They can shriek and snort (which kind of sounds like a horse) bellow (similar to an alligator in noise, occasionally more like a cassowary or other rattite) and bark (similar to a seal), and if pushed the right way they can make a sort of elephant trumpet noise through their nose (also similar to an elephant are their deep-throated noises) They can also make some hoots and grunts that sound like a howler monkey or gorilla.
Rossetians sound like they have a stuffy nose to us (which doesn't help disperse their nerdy erm actually reputation). They make a lot of teeth clicks and tongue noises when speaking, and I included a marmot because they can make a noise around the pitch of a rossetian whistle. I also included a tapir for reference of some of their other squeal noises. They can also kind of moo like a cow but I forgot that.
Kixeli are very good at mimicry but occasionally will slide into more creaky and whistly speech instead of mostly human tones. They croak like toucans do, and also make a lot of other bird-ish chirps and beak claps. They make a lot of loud repeating noises like a kookaburra, and that jabbery/laughy noise is the vibe for how a lot of their vocalizations sound to the untrained ear. The African Gray's voice is close to what they sound like when not trying super hard at human speech, and can get more precise and even make inanimate object noises like a starling. Look up any monkey (macaque, gibbon, etc) screaming/hooting video if you want to k ow what they sound like when scared or very excited.
Cerest speak in short, controlled bursts, usually in a monotone. An almost electronic hum and buzziness is always a part of their natural voice, usually to the point where they're unintelligible. They can make some small trills and mews like a cat, or yowl if they align their throat right. Screaming like a mountain lion is a sundyne thing, drecu screams are like that but more like a cicada if that makes sense. Some of their other misc noises that come from airflow or just them moving their mouthparts and beak are like locusts, mole crickets, click beetles, and the capuchinbird. Depending on the quality of their artificial voice, they can sound either on a Miku level or shitty off-brand robot.
Using their non-host voice, Muttreazik range from microwave humming noises to ear bleeding high pitched shrieks or organ shuffling low pitches. I didn't really know how to draw that so no worms in this post yet again
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r3d-ca9 · 2 days ago
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OHG HI HI HELLO HELLO
1. Because of Bloodwing and Talon, I usually associate him with vultures!! Something like a bearded vulture, usually. Or other birds of prey.
2. I'd make him a necklace or draw him something!! He's not used to receiving gifts, and isn't too picky, so he'd like pretty much anything I got for him. But a handmade item would mean a LOT more to him, for sure.
3. Exploring Pandora, poking around for secrets and loot. Although if we don't have the energy for that, nothing beats catching up on some drama shows. 😫
4. Y'know.....we uh. Don't really have a house. WHOOPS. I'm gonna say...he'd love any chores involving taking care of the birds, of course. S tier chore. And...just like me, he'd probably HATE dishes. Because dishes suck ass.
5. Oh hell yeah. Dude's basically a stunt driver. If you can successfully survive driving on Pandora for any period of time, you get an A+ from me.
6. Fuckin...hawk screech. You know, the one people always use for eagle noises, even though it's not an eagle sound LMAO.
7. He hates being online. It's stressful. It's dumb. He hates the shit other people post. BUT....maybe, yeah.
8. Mmmmmmm....I wanna say...no...I mean, maybe at some point he did? But he's too cynical for that sort of thing now. Besides...it's more satisfying to view relationships as this thing you work really hard for, rather than some magic that happens out of your control. Soulmates may not be real. But it doesn't mean love is any less powerful.
9. Super casual like, the same way I do everything LMAO. "Hey guys. This is my boyfriend. And these are his birds. Ain't that fuckin' sick? Hell yeah."
10. 👀 cough cough
11. They both seem cool and intimidating, are actually enormous nerds. 👉😎👉
12. It's a toss up between red and green!
13. Also pretty casually! Although. A bit more shy about it. They'd probably know already, or have suspicions, and then be like "I FUCKING KNEW IT"
14. Okay, see...he'd. He'd wanna say something that he thinks is cute. Which isn't a lot of things, maybe a baby bird or some shit. But the OBVIOUS answer is a skag, because I'm very dog.
15. Chocolate. Anyone who knows me at all knows that chocolate is the way to my heart. (Also jerky.)
16. We don't really do pet names? At least, I...haven't really thought of any decent ones. Probably a simple "babe", I guess?? (SORRY MORDY, THE CUTE AND CRINGE PET NAMES ARE RESERVED FOR MY IRL HUSBAND 😤😤😤)
17. 👀👀 COUGH COUGH ............ nah i'm messin', he really loves just chilling!!! Life on Pandora is chaotic, messy, and stressful...any chance to just sit and do something low-key is always appreciated.
18. Acts of service, for sure! Helping me solve problems, getting stuff for me, comforting me, he just likes checking on me and making sure I'm doing well!!
19. My winning personality 🫡
20. GRAH, I don't know. I guess he likes how resilient I can be, and how even in the face of stress and danger, I still try to crack jokes and break the tension for the benefit of those around me. He has a hard time seeing the brighter side of life sometimes, and so do I, but I'll be DAMNED if I'm just gonna sit by and let despair swallow me up.
21. Oh my HEART. I don't think he's much of an artist, but I will fold it up and keep it in my wallet forever, no matter what it looks like. <3
22. Mordy doesn't really like eating, so no. He only eats what he has to, so I would never try to snatch any snacks from him, tbh. I am actively throwing protein bars at him.
23. Lol. Red. ❤️
F/O Ask Game!!
A list of questions to answer about your f/o!! You guys can just go down the list and answer them all (I'd love to see it!!!) in a reblog, orrr you can reblog and have others ask you these questions in your inbox! Have fun!! PR.OSHI.P, NOT FOR YOU!
What animal does your f/o remind you of?
If you got your f/o a gift, what would you get them? 
What is your favorite hobby to think about doing with your f/o?
What chores would your f/o do around the house? Are there any they REALLY dislike?
Would you trust your f/o to drive a car?
What kind of ringtone or notification sound would you have for your f/o?
Would your f/o fight someone online? 
Does your f/o believe in soulmates?
How would you introduce your f/o to your friends? How do you think that would go? 
What's the first scenario that comes to your head when you think of being with your f/o?
What dynamic would you use to describe you and your f/o? 
What color do you associate with your f/o? 
How would your f/o introduce you to those they care about? How do you think that would go?
What animal do you remind your f/o of?
What would your f/o get you for Valentine's day, if anything? 
What does your f/o call you in their head? What do they call you aloud/to others?
What does your f/o like doing with you the most? 
How does your f/o show their love best? 
What's your f/o's favorite feature of yours?
What're your f/o's favorite personality traits of yours?
If your f/o drew you, how would you describe the art piece?
Does your f/o share food with you?
What color would your f/o associate you with?
What?? Who's tagging their friends again?- not me... I just really wanna see yalls answers. Formal invitation lest you become worried I don't wanna see it. @jpeg-indulgence @starshakez @moxanji-real @frankys-wife @katsenbergs-soulmate @katanahusband @fl0ralsxgar @one-winged-dreams AND LITERALLY ANYONE WHO SEES THIS.
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monster-noises · 4 months ago
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I mean, there's most of me that is primarily looking for a Partner, someone to connect with and build a long term relationship.
But there is, at this point, at least a Bit of me, a slowly growing sliver
That would
At the very Least
Like someone to Match with me, on these godforsaken apps, who is very upfrontly like 'lets chat for a few days/ a week or two then go on a Date'
Cause like.. i've never Been on a fuckin Date Before Really.
And maybe I wanna know what it's Like. Maybe having a normal human experience, regardless of how it goes, would make me feel better about the whole..... Thing????? And maybe I would just enjoy it idk!
Maybe it would give me some insight, or the confidence to ask other guys on dates myself so i don't feel like i'm floundering around in the quietest corner of rhe metaphorical Room of the Apps all the time!! It would be cool!! To have even a Modicum of a connection I make from a Dating. App. To be even Remotely Interested in Dating!!!!
Don't get me wrong i've made at least two really great friends from matches on the apps, one of them i Do consider a best friend (hi hello you'll probably see this i hope you know who u are i lov u) but just!!!!
Any amount of Explicitly Forward Romantic Intent Would Be Nice.
I'd Like To Live On The Same Planet As Everyone Else And Experience Normal Human Things Just One Time In My Life Maybe. Perchance. Perhaps. If At All Possible.
And I Knoooooooooooooooow I know that the apps are Bad and I knoooooooow the far superior method is to engage with community activities that would contain like minded people. But my GOD I don't have the time or developed social skills for that! As much as I would Love to!!!
I am Aware.
But that's not the pooooint. That's not the Point.
The point is
I guess
I would just like someone to maybe someday express explicit interest in and attraction too me, and to act on that on Anyway, like it seems Everyone Else Gets To Do, even just a little bit for once.
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audliminal · 4 months ago
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I think my dad partially knocked his CPAP off in his sleep or something bc I justed walked past his door and there was just. Intermittent hissing 😂
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dravidious · 2 months ago
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You're more amazing than skulls
You're more amazing than a 2-for-1 special
#asks#also i beat x-5 bythos today#bythos has found yet another way to be the most frustrating neo-guilt#the core extraction wasn't actually that tough because i started using a glitch called “core warp”#basically if you touch multiple spots on the touch screen at once the core jumps to the midpoint between them instantly#which means it doesn't collide with anything in the way so you can just teleport it through most of the spores/shell fragments#BUT this STUPID FUCKING FRISBEE makes SO MANY LACERATIONS#each attack deals like 20 unpreventable damage and then also lots of damage over time from the lacerations#AND its stupid fucking INTERNAL CUT is SO ANNOYING because it deals EVEN MORE DAMAGE and takes LONGER to fix!#fortunately healing touch can get 2 free hits out of 6 and also get a full heal#but getting those 4 normal hits is so tough#you just have to hope and pray that it uses regular attacks instead of the internal cut#next up is sige which i have fought exactly one time and i remember nothing about how it went#to be fair it was the same for nous but nous actually makes sense as an enemy. it does One Thing and that's the whole fight#sige does... a lot. all the time.#also a thing that was always funny: its titles are like “the great silence” and “the dense fog of silence” because sige means silence#and then this bouncy-ball motherfucker makes noise non-stop more than any other guilt in the whole series#anyway nous is so simple that it's the next guilt i'm putting in my game#and i'll actually be able to tell players how to fight it because it does require some explanation#it's no triti but it has A Rule and if you don't know it then you Will Die#but just like in the game i'll only tell players The Rule after they fuck it up twice. give them a chance to figure it out on their own
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firendgold · 1 month ago
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Harry and Lily's motivations and thought patterns can be said to be similar, though, even with how cruelly they were separated.
Harry did not have the chance to be raised by Lily, true. Personality is not solely shaped by genetics: also true. But Harry still shares Lily's stubbornness, cutting tongue, and her strong sense of justice. He shares her belief in the value of sacrifice, even when that sacrifice is personal, final, and has no guarantee of leading to the most ideal outcome. Like both Lily and James, like Sirius and Remus, Harry has no fear of sacrificing himself for friends and family—no fear of dying for what he believes in. He believes in doing things for the benefit of the many, even at his own expense.
This isn't because he's been "groomed" to be that way. It is an innate part of his character from the moment we first meet him in chapter 2 of book 1. It is a part of his character that is clear to characters like Albus, Sirius, Remus, and Severus without Harry ever having to express it in words. It's not an aspect of his character many people like that much, much less accept, but it is a distinct tie between Lily's character and Harry's.
The wizarding world has only a vague idea of who Harry is, and Harry is only infrequently bothered by their opinions of him. His strongest rejection of any role they might put him in is during year 5, when the general public's denial of Voldemort's return is literally threatening his life. But the Ministry and the general public don't have the slightest idea of who Harry is and what he's motivated by—ironically, very similar to many members of Harry's own fandom.
As for Lily's home life, we know that her parents adored her and she had a strong friendship with Severus. But we also know that all was not rosy (no pun intended) in her early life before she grew up and joined the fight against Voldemort. She and Petunia had a rocky relationship which only worsened the more Lily leaned into her identity as a witch. Her first best friend splintered off at some early point during their school years, splitting his time between her and a group of people who thought she was sub-human and a thief of magic. Of the other close friends she may have had, none seem to have outlived her, and she spent at least some of her last days on earth getting news of their deaths.
Lily does not get the screen time she deserves, and much of her behavior is left only to our speculation as fans. But Lily's words and choices in light of the few things we do know about her speak to a deep strength of character, an inflexible sense of right and wrong. Lily Potter is an altruistic woman who is able to empathize with others even without suffering a quarter of the harm that her son comes to experience once she is gone.
Harry was most certainly abused: neglected, treated as less than his cousin, left alone to handle problems no child should have to handle. But I'd argue that these things did not take away his sense of identity, or prevent him from having one; and that it's a common fanon misconception that Harry is either a beaten-down butterfly or a blank-slate everyman.
One of the thing many fans miss about Harry (despite how much his mistreatment is discussed) is that even with the way the Dursleys treat him, Harry does not bend or break before them. A different child might have been submissive, shy, obedient. They might have taken on some of the same ugly beliefs as their 'caretakers'. At eleven years old, Harry is and does none of those things. He is defiant. He is snarky. He is strong-willed, and extremely opinionated, and loyal—though he doesn't fall in line behind the first person with power or wealth or even a winning smile. As he matures throughout the series, these core traits mature with him.
The Harry who sends his friends away for help and decides to face Voldemort at eleven, knowing he will likely die, is the same Harry who goes in secret to face Voldemort at seventeen, knowing he will most certainly die. And he shares this choice, and the belief system it's based on, with the woman who threw herself in front of her killer, her son's would-be killer, and said please not Harry. Have mercy.
Harry Potter wasn't raised to be a soldier or a self-sacrificial lamb. Harry experienced criminal neglect in his early years and realized that no one was going to swoop in and save him when he needed help. He took that to mean that if he wanted something done, if he wanted to help others, he needed to do it himself. By the time he met with adults who did want to help him, and could have helped him, their hands were tied by murderous half-dead men and bureaucratic conservatist systems and discrimination and their own misconceptions of him and a million other things—and that cemented the part of Harry's personality that insisted he must handle things by himself.
And that, acting where others don't or won't, is a choice he makes on his own throughout the series. Harry has plenty of chances to run away from his issues, and a host of people who might have been glad to let him do it. But he doesn't, because he never wants to be a bystander. He never wants to be the type of person who turns his back on the suffering of others—like Wormtail, like the Death Eaters, like the Ministry of Magic. It is a trait he shares with his mother, who could have just as easily packed up and moved clear across the world when Voldemort started terrorizing Britain—but didn't.
Whether they are loved or hated by others, villainized or lionized, both Harry and Lily choose to make personal sacrifices to fight for what's right.
All this to say—I agree with the OP. Harry Potter is not James Potter and he is not Lily Evans Potter either. But I also believe Harry does have some of his parents' less obvious traits, traits which shine through in some of his most perilous moments and give him the strength to overcome his opponents. Still, Harry should NOT be written or interpreted as a carbon copy of either of his parents, because it was Harry James Potter alone who had the personality, the strength, the wisdom, and the selflessness necessary to destroy Voldemort.
Harry Potter is an extremely complex character who deserves actual deep analysis of his choices and character that aren't tied to what his parents said or did or how fans feel about his sacrificial tendencies.
harry potter is NOT james potter.
I love parallels. I love people reminding others of those they've lost along the way.
But Harry Potter is not James . And that is so vital to his entire character.
When people see Harry, they see James. They see a James who sees the world through Lily's eyes. When they see Harry, they don't see Harry.
And that is so vital to his entire being. It's vital to how people see Harry. The people that didn't know James, see the Boy-Who-Lived.
The people who did, who were close to Harry, to James, to Lily. They see James and Lily Potter. They see the people who died, people they were close to, people they miss every day but will never see again.
Remus, Sirius, Snape, McGonagall.
At first, they see James and Lily. And then when they meet him - apart from Snape- they quickly realise he is anything but.
Harry is not arrogant, rich, spoilt. He doesn't have an ego, he doesn't play pranks, he isn't a chaser, he doesn't pick fights.
Harry isn't exceptionally bright at everything he does, he isn't inconceivably forgiving for those who don't deserve it.
He is not Lily and James.
When peole write Harry as a golden retriever, as effortlessly good at everything, they aren't writing about Harry.
Harry who grew up not wanted. Harry who grew up believing something was wrong with him. Harry who was forced into the wizarding world with no knowledge. Harry who is as stubborn as a mule,. Harry who is loyal to a fault, who forgives those he loves, Harry who isn't his parents.
He has traits of them, their anger, their ability to love, and much much more.
BUT Harry Potter isn't them. He isn't the 'best of them both' he isn't James or Lily or Sirius or Regulus.
Harry Potter is Harry. Just Harry.
And that is why he doesn't get along ith Snape. That's why McGonagall believes Harry dragged Neville out for a joke in first year.
When people see Harry, they don't see Harry. And by writing Harry as somebody else, or as 'so-and-so's child' you're not doing the character justice.
'I want a complex character with complex relationships'
'i want an angry character'
'i want to read a book that makes me think'
you couldn't even handle Harry Potter.
#Harry Potter#Lily Evans#harry and lily#potter meta#evans meta#mikailakay#hope you don't mind me offering some counterpoints#this isn't in a rude way I just want to offer a different perspective since my opinion's more in line with the OP#not fireandgold#Harry has some qualities that he shares with his parents. BUT. until the fandom stops treating him AS his parents#OR as some other marauder-era character reborn I think we have to keep making meta posts like this#and no offense but I truly believe that downplaying or minimizing Harry's CHOICE to sacrifice himself (multiple times not just in DH)#is a disservice to his character and leads to missing clear themes of sacrifice and shielding/protection throughout the series#this is such a hard line to walk! if I had my way people wouldn't mention Harry's parents much when writing about him#unless they were sharing old stories with him or reminiscing about qualities Lily and James ACTUALLY share with Harry.#but that nuance is mostly missing in fanfics which means you get people believing one thing or an opposite thing#you also have things like That Woman reusing ideas from the original series in FB and other HP media which waters down the original intent#like Albus teaching Defense. it's not supported by canon and doesn't make sense and it takes away from Remus teaching Defense in year 3#and it means that when you have REAL parallels like Lily standing up for Snape and Harry standing up for Neville they get lost in the noise#Harry and Lily both defend unpopular people and stand up to bullies and that's miraculous when you consider Harry's upbringing#Harry got one year with his parents. Whatever That Woman says to the contrary matters not. That's basically nothing.#Nurture should have screwed Harry over but instead he had such a strong sense of self that he mirrored his mother's choices 17 years later#without ever knowing much about her or his father. that's amazing! it shouldn't be reduced to ''another smart jock who loves redheads yay!'
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kaijutegu · 1 year ago
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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views
Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:
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That is not what a happy gator looks like.
That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.
Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.
Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)
So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!
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Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.
How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!
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Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.
For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?
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Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.
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By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.
Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:
It is doing a threat display.
It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.
It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)
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It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.
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There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.
In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.
It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)
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Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator
So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.
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Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)
Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.
As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.
Why Should I Listen To You?
Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?
Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!
But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.
Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:
Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets
The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt
Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk
Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet
Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang
Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)
Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson
Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul
Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.
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misayani · 1 month ago
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HONEY (R U COMING?) — SE-MI (PLAYER 380)
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◜ pairing ... se-mi / player 380 x  fem reader
◜arrogant and bratty reader (044) recruiting se-mi (380) for the second game
𔗨 author's note — wasn't seeing enough fanfics for my baby so ... [lowercase intended]
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"i dont see anyone else that's good enough for us" you hear gyeong-su comment with a huff. 
you're currently standing with three idiots—thanos, gyeong-su, and nam-gyu, slightly distanced from the three with your arms crossed against your chest and while your twirl your hair. 
"yo thanos, what are we going to do?" nam-gyu's irritating voice cut through all the noise of other people communicating.
thanos turned to him, his head bopping, motherfucker's high again. "i don't fucking care man, let them come to us. i mean, who wouldn't want to be with the great thanos!" 
both men chuckled as nam-gyu speaks up once again, "what about you 044? make yourself useful, can't just sit pretty doing nothing eh?".
"and you call yourself useful?" you scoff as you turned around to face the three, eyebrows raised. thanos smirked at you as you sighed, "fine, i'll make myself useful. no one would probably even care to join you, even if you begged." 
"you bitc—" nam-gyu would've reached you already if it weren't for thanos holding him back while cackling at the both of you.
with one last huff, you strutted your way to the crowd, scanning around the room for someone who met your personal standards—hot, unbothered, and most specially, a woman. 
your eyes landed on a person wearing a jacket with the number '380'. with a confident smirk, you walked towards the woman whose back is facing you and talking to someone.
"leave." your voice broke their conversation as they both looked at you. you eyes were darted to the boy specifically, him being the one you told to leave.
"w-what?" the boy stuttered, looking at you bewildered.
you furrow your eyesbrows, taking a step closer to the boy, "do i seriously need to get you hearing aids? i said leave." 
the boy scrambled away before you can even take your second step to him. with a pleased smile, you turned to the utterly attractive woman who looked at you with an amused expression.
"join me." short and straight to the point. you were confidently sure that she would just say yes and come with you— surely, who in their right minds would turn down a pretty girl's offe-
"why should i?" she voices out. oh. my. fucking. god is her voice so alluring. her looks already made your legs feel like jelly and then comes her voice?— yes lord.
snapping out of your fantasies, you furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at her with an expression that read 'how dare you?' 
"a-are you serious? why shouldn't you?" you looked at her up and down in attempt to intimidate her, but really just an excuse to check her out.
"can't just expect me to join you after rudely making the boy i was talking to leave, sweetheart." she crosses her arms as she made her way closer.
sweetheart. heat rushed to your cheeks and you scoff, rolling your eyes. 
"what do you want me to do then? he doesn't look like someone who's good enough to join forces with in a death game like this anyways." you rebut. 
"and you think you're good enough?" she smirks at you. before you could even utter another word, she straights up and looks down at you—caused by height difference, making you feel small— and chuckles.
"what's your name and give me one good reason why i should join you."
you told her your name, which made you sound too eager for your liking, before you straightened yourself up and flicked you hair to the back.
 "i'll make sure you win. team up with someone who actually looks like they're capable of winning instead of someone who looks like a lost puppy." your eyes darted to the boy she was talking to earlier who was now talking to other people before returning your gaze to her.
she crosses her arms and brings a finger to her mouth to bite down on and stares at you, which made you scream internally. what the fuck. how can someone be this hot?
after some silence between you two, she spoke up "fine. but if i lose, i'll come for you."
huh. 'come for me?' won't be such a bad idea, right? the thoughts made you smirk as you boldy traveled your eyes over her figure. 
"oh, i think you have me mistaken. i won't mind at all if you came for me" your voice sounded innocent, but your words were laced with an obvious innuendo.
"oh?" she smirks. before you could even let her finish her sentence, you speak up once again to avert the topic.
"how will you come for me if you die anyways?" you roll your eyes to try and hide your flustered state. "which, by the way, you won't. my group is decent, me being the best member of course." 
and as if on cue, thanos and the two made their way to the both of you, his annoying voice dominating the noise surrounding you. 
"there you are doll, been lookin for you." you scoff at his words as thanos turns to face 380, which you still don't know the name of, "and who is this señorita?"
you opened your mouth to say something but 380 beat you to it. "se-mi. she recruited me." she says, nodding to you. 
moanable name. you thought.
"really? another woman? you already make this team weak." nam-gyu yaps as he turns to face you, saliva escaping his mouth. filthy.
you scoff as you step away and point your finger at him, "fucking shut your mouth. you haven't done shit to this team. your ass can't fucking talk." 
before a fight between you two broke out, gyeong-su already restrained nam-gyu. thanos whistles, "well. there's that."
the purple-haired man throws his arm over your shoulders and faced nam-gyu. "let's not talk shit now eh? we're a fucking team!" he yells as he raised his free arm up, "try not to kill each other off, we still have games to play."
nam-gyu rolls his eyes and se-mi watches the scene unfold, snickering.
"now come on my folks, come on." thanos frees you from his hold as he walked through the crowd, arms spread as if bragging, with nam-gyu and gyeong-su following.
your lips unsubconsciously turn into a pout as you turned to face se-mi, who was already looking at you.
"cute." she eyes you up and down and starts walking towards thanos' direction. your mouth opens as if you let out a silent gasp at what she said and just stared.
she realized you weren't following so she stopped and turned her head to look at you.
"coming?" she smirks
oh i'm definitely coming.
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keferon · 5 days ago
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“I've done something wrong again. It's not moving.”
There was a lot of stuff spread out in front of him. Old spare parts, pieces of armor, tools. Lots of warped plates.
And his creation. A real golem. An entity woven of metal and magic.
Shockwave walked around the table and stopped right above the head of the figure lying on it
“Golems exist to serve, my friend. It won't move unless you ask it to.”
Orion clutched his servos. The figure remained stone still. There was no ventilation noise, no engine sound, not even the barely audible spinning of a spark. It could just as easily have been a long-cooled dead body lying in front of him.
“Wake up.”
___________________ Part 2->
Magical Golem Prowl anyone? ‘,:) This story exists in the same universe as Spellbound au. and Monster hunter au and ties them together so I highly recommend you read all of them.
The fic under the cut⤵️
He seemed to be nothing.
The emptiness that infinitely defined his nonexistent self bounced off the metal plates and glinted in the droplets of still-warm energon. He was nothing, but there was so much around him that the space was like an infinite buzz of cluttered noise. The voices above him sounded excited. The metal slab beneath him was cold and hard.
“Good. Now you need to put a piece of your armor on this. Somewhere it will be in plain sight and easily reachable.”
“Oh...wouldn't it make more sense to hide it under the armor? I mean, it's an obvious weak point.”
He idly thought, his hands felt numb.
“No no, that's the whole point. You're using an artifact you haven't fully studied and you don't know exactly how it's going to turn out. If it goes crazy and becomes dangerous, you should have an easy way to destroy it. Where's the artifact by the way?”
The tinkling of metal.
The sound of a crystal clattering against armor.
Warm hands on his head.
“Here.”
“Excellent. Now. This will be the base on which the entire spell will be held, so you want to hide this artifact very well and secure it carefully so it doesn't break by mistake.”
Did he have hands too? He was nothing, why did he have hands? It didn't make sense.
Orion took a couple steps away from the table and stood pensively.
“I've done something wrong again. It's not moving.”
There was a lot of stuff spread out in front of him. Old spare parts, pieces of armor, tools. Lots of warped plates.
And his creation. A real golem. An entity woven of metal and magic.
Shockwave, hitherto distracted by an almost invisible spot on his shoulderplate, glanced leisurely over Orion's shoulder
“Golems don't need much to function. You made a good shell. The magical structure is strong as well, I see.”
Orion hesitantly pointed to the golem's forehead, decorated with a neat sharp chevron.
“I added some things that weren't in your instructions and I think I made a mistake somewhere.”
“Golem making is a complex skill, don't give up if it doesn't work right awa...you know what, actually no, you did everything right.”
Orion shrugged in frustration.
“Then why won't it move?”
Shockwave walked around the table and stopped right above the head of the figure lying on it
“ Golems exist to serve, my friend. It won't move unless you ask it to.”
Orion walked back over to the table with a quiet “oh” and nervously clutched his servos. The figure remained stone still. There was no ventilation noise, no engine sound, not even the barely audible spinning of a spark. It could just as easily have been a long-cooled dead body lying in front of him.
“Wake up.”
The emptiness that forever defined his nonexistent self stammered. He wasn't nothing. He had a purpose and that purpose shaped him, put strength into his numb limbs and molded his lack of thought into naked intent.
He wasn't nothing. He was a void, but suddenly that void had a direction, no matter how meaningless it sounded.
He stopped being just nothing. He became his purpose. And it felt so right that it was unclear how he could ever have been anything else before.
He opened his optics.
Orion, who apparently hadn't expected that the thing he'd made specifically for it to move would move, jerked back with a funny sound.
On the opposite side, Shockwave nodded proudly, returning to the spot on his armor that even in the bright lights of the workshop only he could see.
“I believed in you.”
_________
“Oh my god! How do you sneak up on me so quietly every time?”
He wasn't nothing anymore. He was a whole long list of instructions and rules. His creator sat him down at a table and meticulously listed everything he could and could not do. Handed him many books and ordered him to attend a huge number of lectures. He now knew who to bow to if he passed them in the hallway and who to avoid. He had learned hundreds of names and thousands of titles. Learned how to pretend to be a real Mech, even though he wasn't.
The world around him was complex and confusing, but he found that this complexity had its own patterns, linked together in a bizarre web of systems and sequences. It was worth pulling on the right end, and the meaningless facts organized themselves into something much more manageable.
Everything made sense. The planet revolved around a star. Mechs rejoiced when they got something that improved their quality of life. Energon burned, producing energy. Big things tended to be heavier than small things.
The world was divided into Mechs and monsters...and him.
He was inclined to be...quiet.
His creator - he'd asked to be called Orion - twitched when he found his creation standing right behind him.
He was very talented at finding Orion wherever he was. And very light compared to most things his size. Like everything else it made sense. He wasn't a Mech, he was just an empty shell. An armor summoned to life by magic. His footsteps were as quiet as a mini bot's. Whatever Orion called it, he wasn't 'sneaking' on purpose.
A few cycles later, Orion accidentally bent one of its finals when he turned around too quickly, startled by the quiet footsteps behind him.
He named him Prowl. It was...not exactly logical, but there was a certain sense to it. Prowl nodded and agreed. He always agreed with everything Orion said, even if it didn't make sense at all. Orion's opinion took a higher priority than anything else.
Until it didn't.
Until Orion gave him a focused look and told him that he should argue if he thought it was necessary.
Until Orion put the servo on his shoulder and said something along the lines of....
“You can disagree with me if you think my opinion is wrong. I'm not asking you to go against me. I'm not perfect and I can't be the one absolute point of reference for everything. You can and I'm sure will be smarter than me about many things. I want you to tell me if I'm wrong and what I should do about it.”
Like…well….like an absolute fool.
This concept was new. Prowl wasn't built to argue. He was made to obey orders and to serve a function.
Orion smiled slyly. At least it was probably a smile behind his mask that made the corners of his optics lift.
“It wouldn't be considered a disobedience of my order if I ordered you to disobey it. Don't you think?”
Prowl opened his mouth to agree out of habit, but then changed his mind mid-motion and closed it back. It...it didn't make sense. It made sense that was breaking under its own weight. It was mercilessly mixing up all of his pre-learned patterns for talking to Orion. If he agreed with that logic now, it would mean accepting its use. If he protested, it would also mean accepting it, but in a bit more embarrassing way. Just when he was thinking of simply retreating silently to the nearest shadow and banging his head against the wall, he heard a quiet chuckle and realized that Orion had been amusing himself for some time now, watching him struggle.
Prowl decided that verbal responses might be overrated and frowned his face in the most believable expression of displeasure he could portray.
Orion broke out into laughter.
________
“What exactly is my goal?”
Orion looks. Curious. He stops talking to Shockwave and leans back on the bench.
“Right now, to study these journals. I already told you.”
Prowl nods to indicate he heard him and continues
“Studying serves a future purpose. Studying for the sake of studying would be meaningless to me. What is my final goal?”
“To assist me” Orion says slightly confused. ”Within the best of your ability of course.“”
“Аh. Assist in the fulfillment of your goal.”
“Well. I'd say so, yes.”
Prowl nods
“And what is your goal?”
Shockwave, who has been sitting next to them the whole time looks like they're a couple of previously unknown to science species he's just personally discovered.
Prowl ignores him.
“I...you remember the separation between Mechs and monsters, right?” asks Orion cautiously.
“Yes.”
“Mechs...are unfair to monsters. Monsters are cruel to Mechs. It's a needlessly violent situation that I want to...try to. Fix.”
Prowl frowns to indicate that the information isn't completely clear.
“You're a member of the order of hunters. And...” he shakes his head toward the nearest window ”...you have a considerable number of hunters under your command. Your job involves destroying monsters.”
Shockwave makes some sort of quiet amused sound and props his chin up with his hand.
Prowl ignores him harder.
“My job is to bring peace.” says Orion “You don't have to kill monsters to do that. You can negotiate with them. Find a compromise. Coexist. I...I guess basically, I'm trying to make the world a little better?”
Prowl doesn't look impressed. He's actually making a special effort to not let Orion think in any way that he might be intrigued by the whole endeavor.
“You do realize that's a disproportionately large goal for just one Mech, right?”
Orion shrugs awkwardly
“That's why I made you.”
__________
Ratchet puts aside his tools and critically examines his work.
“Don't touch that and it will heal normally.”
Orion smiles gratefully
“Thank you.”
Ratchet is important to Orion. They are close and very valuable friends to each other. The two of them look peaceful now, despite the fact that Ratchet threatened Orion when he first showed up in Sick Bay, so Prowl decides it would be a socially acceptable moment to start talking
“Orion, you're wanted at the Council.”
The second half of his line is drowned helplessly in two startled exclamations at once. Orion, to his honor, calms down almost immediately, but Ratchet continues cursing for a while.
Prowl doesn't wait for him to finish. The Council meeting is earlier than usual today and Orion has already had a few occasions of misbehavior. It's in his best interest to at least show up on time this time.
“Shockwave asked me to tell you to hurry. I will add that showing up at the last minute will not be good for your reputation if you are still hoping to convince the council to let you take more units.”
Ratchet .....stares.
“Primus' rusty hinges, Orion, who's that? Did they assign a nanny to you?”
Orion twitches his finals playfully and immediately crinkles in pain, remembering that one of them should have been left to heal.
“Remember when I wanted to find an assistant? Well...”
Ratchet casts an increasingly more suspicious look at Prowl. Prowl decides that friendliness is overrated and limits his expression to a barely perceptible tilt of his head in response.
“...Shockwave recently helped me figure out how to create golems and I figured if I couldn't find anyone I could trust, I might as well...make one. So. Ratchet meet Prowl.” finishes Orion awkwardly.
Ratchet glares at Prowl for a while longer. Then he turns away and starts tidying up Sick Bay.
“I'm not buying it. I don't know where you found this guy, but you're not playing me. Nice poker face by the way.”
One of Prowl's wings twitches
“He wasn't lying.”
Ratchet snorts grumpily.
“Those...” he waves toward the next room ”...are golems.
There, behind the wall, several golems scurry around. They have medical staff symbols painted on their shoulders, and there is not a trace of thought in their eyes. Two are scrubbing the floors, another wiping the shelves and window sills clean of dust. They occasionally mumble softly under their noses or utter an inane “excuse me” every time they accidentally bump into each other. Prowl knows that if you ask any of them a question with more than one variable, they start babbling guiltily and shrugging their shoulders. They're stupid, but they themselves don't seem to care about that at all. They are their purpose. And their purpose is to keep things clean. They are pride because they are good at their job.
Prowl frowns. He's a headache. Because his "purpose" has been distracted by his conversation with Ratchet and will probably add another tardy to his list in the near future.
Orion begins (thank goodness) to move toward the door
“I've made improvements. There might have been...some not exactly allowed artifacts.”
Ratchet rubs the bridge of his nose tiredly. Prowl can see that his face is already starting to wrinkle in that spot. Patient antics probably age Ratchet far more effectively than the passage of time itself.
“I...you know what...go before the Council sends a search party to look for you.”
Orion sighs and without further distraction finally walks out the door.
Prowl decides that Ratchet might be a good ally when it comes to managing Orion.
He nods politely goodbye before leaving.
______________
“I am different from them. Why?”
Orion puts down the document he's been working on and looks first at Prowl and then, over his head, at the other golems scurrying down the hallway with brooms and rags. He doesn't need to interject exactly who he thinks Prowl is different from.
“Do you want a philosophical answer or a technical one?”
Prowl reaches out and pokes somewhere in Orion's document
“ You missed a comma. Both.”
Orion obediently puts the comma in and folds up the document. His finals are twitching faintly. It could be a sign of concentration as well as distraction. Prowl has already figured out that Orion's body language is a double-bottom trap. For a Mech with this level of expressiveness, Orion is surprisingly difficult to read.
“Sometime quite a while ago during one of my expeditions, I found a unique artifact. A fascinating item, granting wisdom to anyone brave enough to use it.”
“I have a feeling a ‘but’ is coming.”
“You're right. The artifact's unique gift was also its curse. It fed so much information through the Mech's heads that it literally caused the processors of its owners to melt.”
“Oh. Good thing I don't have a processor then.”
Orion laughs quietly
“Indeed. You won't have that problem. And about the other part....Think of all the Mechs you know who are savvy enough about politics and available to work together at the moment.”
Orion gives him a moment before continuing.
“ What is the likelihood that the most trustworthy of them would betray me, for their own gain or out of fear?”
“ Twenty-eight percent,” Prowl informs.
And then hesitates a moment.
Orion is obviously a smart Mech. Not smart enough to single-handedly dominate the political arena, definitely not with his ideals and ideas of what's right. But smart enough to realize it. He knows what he wants and he also knows he can't achieve it alone.
Prowl looks at Orion, who just stands there, eyeing him, without in any way trying to continue the conversation.
Orion is idealistic, and therefore often mistaken for stupid. He isn't. Orion doesn't just know that he can't succeed alone, he knows that everyone else knows it too. He thinks this knowledge will be used against him when the opportunity arises. He's right. By Prowl's count, at least three suspiciously clever Mechs were going to sweet-talk their way into becoming Orion's assistant one way or another before... he appeared.
One of the janitor golems runs past them down the corridor. He doesn't turn around, doesn't even slow down or cast a curious glance. His only goal, his only interest is cleaning. The rest of the world might as well not exist at all.
Prowl thinks he's not that different.
Orion apparently reads the understanding from his face, because he nods contentedly and starts walking further down the hall.
“You didn't take yourself into account when you made the statistics, did you?”
Prowl follows him silently on his heels. Not close enough to be familiar, but not so far away that the conversation stops being private.
“The sampling condition was all mechs. I am not one.”
“That's true” Orion shrugs “You have no loved ones that the Council could use to influence you. You have no desires to be bought by their fulfillment. And while I cannot say with absolute certainty that you will never be capable of going against me...” Prowl starts to open his mouth to object but Orion gestures him to stop, “...no no no no, let me finish. And while I can't be sure you'll never betray me, I at least know for sure that before you met me you had no reason to do so. Do you understand?”
Prowl understands. It makes sense. He still feels the need to argue back, because it is part of his function to do that.
“I would never betray you. I'm not capable of it.”
Orion twitches his finals. Without seeing his face Prowl assumes it is a sign of doubt.
“You are a creature of intellect, Prowl. I am a Mech of ideals. Those two things don't always combine well.”
______
“Foolish and presumptuous.”
Prowl ponders that his function could be much easier if he didn't have to constantly try to balance what is right and what is right in Orion's eyes.
“If you were spotted, the Council would have good reason to assume this isn't the first time you've done something like this.”
“No one noticed,” Orion tries, but Prowl doesn't let him finish that thought
“No one has seen you, because you're lucky. You can't count on it being a permanent occurrence! You undermine your own position by giving the Council grounds for suspicion, you...”
Prowl stops, still pointing his finger accusingly somewhere on Orion's chin. Shockwave, who has witnessed the scene, makes an impressed face and steps closer.
“I swear, you're probably the most capable golem maker I've ever had the pleasure of teaching, Orion. If I hadn't seen that guy on your assembly table, I would never know.”
Prowl takes the statement as a compliment, but doesn't feel the need to show it outwardly. Shockwave, as one of the few who knows about him not being a real Mech, doesn't take offense to it in any way.
“Did I interrupt something dramatic?”
Prowl snorts, because the gesture maintains just the right amount of judgment for his situation.
“Orion is once again harboring a monster instead of killing it or letting it escape.”
This news immediately enlivens Shockwave's posture. Prowl knows he's an even bigger fan of collecting suspicious side projects than Orion. Their friendship, frankly, will one day bury either one or both of them. Prowl just hopes his presence will be enough to sway the percentages when that happens.
Orion doesn't try to deny anything.
“One of my squads encountered a ghost near the northern border. I couldn't... listen Shockwave, he's a good guy. He just needs to be given a chance to show it.”
“Can he talk?” there's almost visible stars in Shockwave's eyes..
Prowl slumps his shoulders helplessly, already knowing what's coming next. These two have done this dance a hundred times before. One of Shockwave's favorite side projects was a school for, as they called them, magically gifted and extraordinary Mechs. In fact, it was the largest den of various monsters that Prowl had ever seen. Every time Orion's hunting squads found a monster that could even remotely resemble a normal Mech, Orion would rush with happy optics to hand it over to Shockwave for care. There, the monsters were taught everything they needed to fit into the society of normal Mechs, but more importantly, they were given documents. Precious pieces of paper that granted their holders rights, freedoms, and protections as Shockwave's apprentices.
Prowl could appreciate the noble endeavor. He could also see clearly that with each addition, this school would become more and more of an inconvenient thorn in the Council's side. Just like Orion, Shockwave was happy to paint a brighter and brighter target on his own back for many cycles.
Orion, insensitive to danger that is not immediate, cheerfully begins to recite
“Can read, write, speak, even makes music.”
Shockwave nods happily
“Introduce us?”
Prowl wonders how far Shockwave can stretch the definition of “magically gifted Mech”. One day Orion will pick up a Kraken on the street and then they'll both probably have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to make it's documents. Ugh.
When Orion had asked him to calculate the probability of betrayal, the most reliable mech he was evaluating at the time was Shockwave.
Twenty-eight percent...
Prowl wonders how many students must be on the opposite side of the scale from Orion for Shockwave to choose in their favor. Speculation is actually useless. If the Council decides to nail Shockwave, they will of course use his entire school at once.
In fact, they probably won't even have to force Shockwave to choose between the school and Orion, because Orion himself will choose a bunch of monsters over himself.
This ridiculously dangerous social construct they call friendship rests entirely on their reputation as honest and honorable mechs. Prowl stares at Shockwave's back and wonders how one mech could have so much charisma, that he gets away with keeping a huge number of Council enemies right under the noses of that same Council.
_________________
Orion gently lifts the now graying shell of what was once a monster from the ground
He doesn't even turn toward Prowl.
"Did you kill him?"
Killing...it's a stretch. Does the act of helping a murderer qualify as murder? Or the lack of action that could have saved the now murdered person? In most cultures and languages, “murder” refers to the act of ending someone else's life, but the context implies a physical act. Did you put a knife in his back? Did you push him off a cliff? Did you cut him with a sword?
By those criteria. Well. Prowl never killed anyone. Nor is he likely to, for he has neither the skill nor the strength to do so.
Did he cause death? Absolutely.
Orion's always had this heroic streak that wouldn't let him just pass by the distressed and disadvantaged. Orion has always had a great spark of kindness and principles as strong as titanium alloy as to what is right and what is wrong.
In Orion's world view, murder is wrong. And murder in conditions where it was possible to solve everything by peace is immoral and unacceptable.
Prowl's worldview tells him that Orion could do much better if he stopped wasting his potential on helping those who will only drag him down in the long run. Orion's life depends entirely on the Council's opinion of him. A Council that has been watching him closely lately. Even if Orion doesn't like it, it's Prowl's job to make sure they like what they see.
Orion turns to him, shaking him out of his thoughts.
"Prowl. That mech tried to escape. Past you. And now he's dead. Were you the one who killed him?"
"No," says Prowl, "he ran into one of the patrols."
That statement is missing a good half of the details. Like mentioning that the patrol wouldn't have been there in the first place if Prowl hadn't sent them an anonymous lead.
Orion doesn't need to know that. Orion lives under the idea that every life is precious and, even more inconveniently, equal.
Prowl sometimes feels like yelling at him for it. Because that shiny perfect picture is simply unsustainable outside of Orion's head. The monster, whose graying body now lies on the ground, would be of little use to society. Likely left free, he would have simply continued to attack and kill travelers.
Whereas Orion spends his life making the world a better place. This is an objective fact confirmed by numerous observations.
They are not equals. And they probably never will be. Orion's life is much. Much heavier on the imaginary scales of statistics.
Orion squints at him suspiciously. He's clearly hesitant.
"You could have just let him go instead of killing him."
The trap is honestly too obvious.
"I didn't kill him" Prowl repeats "he ran into a patrol. You can't blame the hunters for doing their job."
Orion places a hand on the dead creature's forehead in a respectful gesture of regret while simultaneously averting his gaze. It's a habit by now.
Look the other way, don't let the council know what you're doing. Sympathize but not in plain sight, help but in secret.
"They had no right to attack him.This is neutral territory. He has the right to run wherever he wants."
Prowl's mouth is twisting with the urge to argue. To say that according to existing information, this monster would have just continued the attacks if he'd stayed free.
He says nothing. Orion is clearly in no mood to argue right now, and he's already questioning Prowl's claim. It's not worth pushing any further.
Prowl only nods, showing that he's heard Orion's point of view.
__________________
He is surprisingly good at lying.
Of course the skill doesn't just come naturally, but he's been known for his straightforwardness. Mechs automatically expect him to either remain silent or tell the unpleasant truth.
All he has to do is give only certain bits and pieces instead of coherent information without changing his usual behavior in any way and the mechs won't be inclined to verify it, filling in the gaps themselves. As a golem, he can't lie, but he can get others to lie to themselves.
He exploits this a lot. Probably more often than Orion would approve, but Prowl doesn't ask him to confirm. Conversations with Orion tend to narrow down his list of options. Because Orion is a real living mech. With a spark. With feelings. And his complex moral code revolves entirely around what he feels to be right.
Prowl has no spark. Prowl has an empty armor that he considers his body and a wisdom artifact that he considers his worth. Both his and Orion's understandings of what is right...overlap...sometimes.
Not always.
______________
"I saw a demon in person for the first time today."
Prowl politely shifts his posture to show he's listening
"A …demon?"
"Demon" Orion repeats "When...when a mech commits especially terrible crimes against the will of Primus, the very magic of their spark rises up against them and turns them into a demon. And I just learned today what a...demon looks like."
Prowl remains silent, waiting for a continuation that never comes. Orion seems gone in his thoughts....
"And what does it look like?" prompts Prowl.
"Creepy. It looks creepy and unnatural and terrifying. Primus' wrath has a very ugly shape..."
"Ah...I see...what did that mech do to be met with such punishment?"
Orion frowns
"I'm not sure. But what we're doing can't go against Primus' will, right? I mean, all beings are his creations! He can't condemn us for trying to make peace between mechs and monsters..."
Prowl is familiar with the concept of punishment for wrongdoing. But something about the very idea...the idea that punishment will find you no matter how well you hide because you can’t run away from your own spark...he has to admit it's disturbing.
"I hope he doesn't."
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Thoughts?👁
Ahsjfjfj
This is the first half of the fic btw because I don’t have enough time to translate the whole thing in one day. I’ll try to post the second half tomorrow🤞
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enigmaris · 2 months ago
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A continuation of this post:
There is a teenager in the Watchtower.
Scratch that, there is a teenager that Bruce doesn't know in the Watchtower. The boy, maybe around Tim's age, is wearing worn blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a pair of tennis shoes that had seen better days.
He is wearing no mask, no suit of armor, with no weapons on him. He's just sitting in one of the seats in their larger meeting room, quite literally twiddling his thumbs. He hadn't noticed Batman standing in the doorway.
Behind him, he heard Clark coming round the corner, Bruce lifted up a gloved hand which made the man stop.
"What is it, Bats?"
Bruce sent the man a look before motioning to the boy, who had definitely noticed them now.
He waved at them.
"Who is that? Don't you normally require all your new kids wear costumes up here?" Clark asked.
"Unknown." Bruce said before giving his friend a look. "He's not mine."
Why does everyone assume it's his kid? Just because this boy has dark hair and blue eyes does not mean he belongs to Bruce. Clark has nearly the same looks as Bruce, and he had two kids, why couldn't this one be one of his?
"He's not mine either!" Clark said before frowning. "Not that I know of."
Bruce lifted up an eyebrow, knowing his friend could see it beneath his cowl. Clark rolled his eyes.
"Let's be honest if he was one of mine, you would know before I would."
Bruce grunted and turned back to the teenager. The kid was clearly listening in on them while looking away from them. Bruce watched as he tapped on the table in front of him, making little staccato noises of anxiety.
"Why are we waiting out here?" Barry asked, appearing right in a blur of red and yellow right as he did. Clark pointed at the unknown in the meeting room. Barry grinned widely beneath his own cowl, making the rubbery material crinkle.
"Batsy! Another one? You sly dog, where'd you find this one?"
"He's not mine." Bruce growled, Barry actually froze for a moment, shock slowing him down to normal speed for a moment.
"Nice joke, Bats. If he's not yours, then whose is he?"
Bruce clenched his jaw, Barry looked between the two of them, head flipping rapidly until he realized it wasn't a joke. In the corner of his eye, he could see that the unknown was openly staring at them with a smile forming on his face.
"We are in space." Barry hissed. "How'd a random kid get in here?"
"Excuse me?"
Behind the three hero pile up, Arthur arrived. The King looked less than pleased at having his way impeded.
"I come to these bi-monthly meetings due to their importance. I have an entire kingdom to manage, so if we could all move?"
"Bats has a new kid!" Barry nearly shouted.
"He's not mine!" Bruce growled while Arthur looked up and over Barry to see the unknown.
"Do we have a security breach?" Arthur asked.
"He's not yours yet!" Barry said at the same time, lifting up a finger and pointing it right at Bruce's face.
"We don't know who it is or how they got here." Clark said. "He doesn't seem hostile."
"Appearances can be deceiving, Superman." Arthur said , pursing his lips. Bruce turned to see that the boy had now waved in greeting at Arthur and Barry. Barry waved back.
"Are we having a hallway party or something?" Captain Marvel asked. "A party sounds waaaay more fun than a meeting, no offense Batman."
"We have an intruder, Captain." Arthur said pointing directly at the kid.
The kid's eyes widened and he looked behind himself before pointing at his own chest in surprise.
"He doesn't seem like an intruder?" Marvel said with a frown. "What if he's lost?"
"The watchtower is a secure facility, people don't get here by accident." Bruce said.
"I dunno, Batman." Marvel shrugged. "We have aliens, magicians, and time travelers on our team. He could be lost."
Bruce refused to admit the genial man had a point, the unknown could be from anywhere or anywhen. From further down the hallway, John and Diana appeared, walking together. Diana was holding a glass filled with one of Barry's chocolate protein shakes. John nodded in greeting at the group.
"We have an intruder Wonder Woman." Arthur said.
Diana looked through the crowd before shaking her head.
"Nonsense. He has permission to be here. Come, we should sit for the meeting."
Diana muscled her way through the crowd, still carrying the glass. She walked directly over to the unknown. The boy perked up, smiling widely as Diana held out the glass for him
"Thanks, i was getting hungry." The boy said before taking a large gulp of the shake, Diana smiled down at the boy, resting her hand in his dark hair.
"Woah. Plot twist." Barry whispered.
"Come on, let's get to the bottom of this." Clark said walking into the room, following the path Diana took.
The rest of the League followed suit, taking their assigned seats around the table. Bruce wasn't surprised to see that the unknown was sitting in an extra chair right next to Diana.
"To start the meeting." Diana said onc everyone was seated. "I do have some news to share."
"Yeah, I sure hope so." Marvel said in that strange, joking tone he used as if he were quoting something, not that Bruce had ever been able to recognize the quotes.
"I would like to introduce the Justice League to my son, Daniel of Themyscira." Diana said, putting her arm around the unknown and squeezing him to her side.
"Hi." Daniel said, waving at the group, his cheeks a bit red.
Immediately, there was an uproar from most everyone in the League. Questions and shouts of confusion, shock, and denial. Diana only allowed the noise for a few moments before she slammed her fist onto the table hard enough to crack it.
"Enough!" She shouted, quickly quelling the group. "I will not allow my decision to bring my son here be questioned."
She glared at them fiercely, still holding Daniel to her side. The boy had ducked down a bit with the shouting but was now looking up at Diana with adoration.
"This entire team, aside from Captain Marvel, has brought their young charges to the League." Diana continued, looking at each of them. "Superman has brought up two Superboys, Aquaman introduced to us Aqualad, Flash has both Impulse and Kid Flash, Martian Manhunter came to us with Miss Martian. I do not believe we even have time to list all of Batman's brood."
Barry had the audacity to snort at Diana's last point. That actually eased the tension and people relaxed. Diana leaned back into her seat.
"I would think that my team of many years would trust my judgment in bringing my son here. I assure you he is well into his training and more than competent. I will allow you all to ask your questions now."
Bruce cleared his throat near silently and spoke up first.
"What does he know?"
Diana didn't look impressed at his question. Daniel looked at her face before frowning at Bruce, clearly following his mother's lead.
"I have spoken at length about the League and how we work together. I assure you that i have not revealed any identities shared in confidence with me." Diana's tone made it clear she was offended that Bruce would accuse her of revealing their identities. He barely kept from wincing.
"Uhm. How did he... come to be?" Clark asked, clearly not wanting to ask any truly intimate details.
"In the way all children do." Diana said, giving Clark a look of his own.
That answer was not very helpful given that Diana was formed from clay by her mother. Had she taken a pottery class when he wasn't looking? Unless the boy was much older than he appeared, there was no way Diana had hidden a pregnancy from them 15 or so years ago.
"Why haven't we heard of him before now?" Arthur asked.
"Daniel was training with Pandora, one of the elders of Themyscira, she sent him here when he learnt all she had to teach. He joined me in the world of man only a few months ago." Diana answered simply.
"Uh. Excuse my ignorance." Barry said in a tone that made it clear he was about to say something very ignorant indeed. "But I thought your family only had women in it?"
This time Daniel answered, looking nervous.
"I'm. I'm trans actually." he answered, while rubbing his arm nervously.
"Which is completely fine and something that will not leave this room." Diana said, her voice comforting towards her son while her eyes promised hellfire to the heroes in the room.
Everyone made noises of agreement until Daniel relaxed, going back to smiling.
"Excuse me Wonder Woman, will Daniel be wanting to join any of the other, younger teams?" Captain Marvel asked, sounding excited at the idea.
Which of course he would, he was still acting Den Mother for Young Justice and loving it.
"That is up to him. For now I would like to keep him to myself for a while longer, but once he is further trained by myself I think it would be a splendid opportunity."
"Yes!" Daniel agreed before clearing his throat. "I mean, that'd be cool or whatever."
"We can discuss it in the future." Bruce allowed, knowing that it would probably happen sooner than Diana would want knowing how both the Teen Titans and Young Justice were. Danny nodded eagerly at that.
"Finish your food." Diana told Daniel before looking back up at the rest of the team. "Are there any more questions?"
"Does Daniel have any health requirements or powers we need to be aware of?" John asked. "Or is his physiology the same as your own?"
"His powers are vastly different from my own. It is one of the reasons Pandora had taken on his training in the beginning." Diana answered easily. "The facilities and resources we have here should work well for him in case of injury."
The knowledge that Daniel's powers were so different from Diana's that she didn't feel comfortable training him herself was worrisome. Amazons, as far as he knew, had relatively similar powersets. Although he had not heard of Pandora before, perhaps she was specialized?
"I do have, what's it called? An enhanced metabolism. Most stuff here doesn't work on me."
"Don't worry son. We have plenty of medications designed with metas in mind." Clark told Danny. "If it works on me and your mom, it willl work for you."
"Cool."
"What all can you do?" Captain Marvel asked.
Daniel turned to look at Diana who nodded. The boy then looked back at them and started listing his powers.
"I can fly. Not as fast as mom's invisible jet but pretty fast. I'm super strong. I can turn invisible and intangible."
"Intangible?" Clark asked.
"It is an ability similar to Martian Manhunter's density shifting." Diana clarified. "The mechanisms are different."
Magical, most likely, instead of John's more science based power. Bruce would have to come up with more contingencies to compensate for that.
"Yeah intangibility is pretty cool." Daniel told them. "Althought when i first got it, it was pretty scary. I kept falling through stuff. I was almost afraid I'd start falling through the whole planet by accident. I totally have it under control now though."
"I would be interested in comparing our abilities, Daniel." John said, nodding his head towards him. The boy beam excitedly.
"Yeah!"
"Not in the Watchtower." Diana warned, voice stern.
Yes, that was probably sensible. Danny agreed with his mother, and John clarified that he would be happy to meet up planetside at their convenience.
"Are those all of your abilities?" Barry asked, Daniel shook his head.
"No there are a bunch more. But I'm not supposed to use them for a while."
"Why?"
"My son is powerful, but he has relied on his powers far too much in the past." Diana said, sounding porud enough to make her son blush. "Right now, I am training his melee abilities, we have agreed to a temporary pause until he has met my standards."
"It's been super tough. Mom's making me practice with her sword all the time." Danny added on.
"My mother will be sending on your own weapon soon." Diana soothed. "Hephestes does not like to be rushed."
"I know mom."
Diana reached up and ruffled her son's hair. Daniel leaned into the affection with a smile.
"Are there any further questions?" Diana asked, when no one had anything immediately she nodded. "Good. Is there any further business? If not, I would like to take my son home for a proper meal."
Everyone looked at each other. Bruce had wanted to discuss some of his findings, but with Diana's reveal, it hardly seemed important any longer. Bruce was going to need to do a lot of research and planning. He wondered if he should get Tim involved or if he should hold off. The League agreed to end the meeting early, Diana stood.
"Come Daniel. We should get to the jet."
Daniel scrambled up and followed his mother out of the meeting room, his worn sneakers squeaking a bit on the flooring. The rest of the League sat in silence for a moment taking in what Diana had told them.
Wonder Woman had a child. A child with powers beyond her own.
Daniel popped back into the room before anyone could speak.
"Gosh, I am sorry I almost forgot. Mr. Batman, I have something for you."
Daniel walked right over to Bruce, who stared at him from underneath the cowl. The boy was not nearly as confident as his mother when it came to his glare. He cringed a bit, but reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny, silver and green flash drive. He placed it on the table and stepped back.
"What is that?"
"Mom told me you like to make contingencies for everyone. In case they go crazy or whatever. So..." The boy motioned to the drive with his hand. "I mean, it'd be weird if i made my own plans, but like, you could do it. That has all my powers and weaknesses and stuff."
Bruce grabbed the flash drive and the boy looked pleased.
"Okay! I gotta go. It was awesome meeting you guys!"
Daniel turned on his heel and ran out of the room. Bruce looked down at the flash drive, doing his best to hide his shock. No one has ever just handed him a list of their weaknesses before.
"I dunno Bats, are you sure he's not yours?" Barry asked.
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harrysfolklore · 1 month ago
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christ-max -mv1
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summary: you invite your boyfriend max to spend christmas with you for the first time, however, your family doesn't quite believe you're dating a formula 1 world champion. wc: 5.8k
folkie radio: HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOUUUU! i hope you're having the best day ever with your loves ones. this fic ended up being longer than i intended but i hope you like it!
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
You're nestled into Max's side on his couch, wrapped in the soft throw blanket he keeps specifically for these quiet moments together. The afternoon light filters through the floor-to-ceiling windows of his Monaco apartment, casting a glow across the room. Your feet are tucked under you, and you can smell the lingering scent of the coffee you both made earlier.
The Netflix show you'd put on - some random documentary about deep-sea creatures - has become mere background noise. Max's fingers are threading through your hair in that gentle way that always makes you melt, occasionally stopping to massage your scalp. .
"I can't believe the season's actually over," you murmur, tracing lazy patterns on his arm. "Feels weird not having to plan around race weekends anymore."
Max chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest where your head rests. "Yeah, but now we have to plan around all the end-of-year events instead. Did you see how many galas and ceremonies are coming up?"
"At least those don't involve you flying halfway across the world," you tease, tilting your head to look up at him. His hair is slightly messy, free from its usual styling, and you resist the urge to reach up and run your fingers through it.
"True," he agrees, then glances at his phone on the coffee table. "Speaking of events, I can't believe it's already December. Christmas is going to be here before we know it. Guess time flies when you're busy winning championships."
Your heart skips a beat. This is the opening you've been waiting for. You've been thinking about this for weeks, planning how to bring it up. "Actually… I wanted to ask you something about Christmas," you start, sitting up slightly to face him better.
Max's blue eyes meet yours, curious. "What's on your mind?"
"Well…" you bite your lip, suddenly feeling nervous despite knowing there's no reason to be. "I was wondering if you'd want to spend Christmas with me and my family this year? I know we've kept things private, but I really want them to meet you, and-"
"Wait, really?" Max interrupts, his whole face lighting up with that boyish excitement that made you fall for him in the first place. "You want me to meet your family?"
You can't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "Of course I do. We've been together almost a year now, and they keep asking why I'm always smiling at my phone." You playfully poke his side. "Which is your fault, by the way."
He catches your hand, intertwining your fingers. "My fault? I'm just being my naturally charming self," he grins, then his expression turns slightly more serious. "But are you sure? I mean, won't they be surprised when you show up with, well…"
"With a four-time World Champion?" you finish for him, laughing. "Actually, my dad might pass out. He's been watching F1 since before I was born. He has no idea I've been dating his favorite driver."
Max's eyebrows shoot up. "I'm his favorite driver?"
"Don't let it go to your head," you warn playfully. "But yeah, he's got your merchandise and everything. It's actually kind of embarrassing how much he talks about you during race weekends."
Max throws his head back laughing, and you can't help but join in. "Oh God, this is going to be interesting," he says, wiping at his eyes. "What about the rest of your family?"
"Well, Mom will probably try to feed you until you burst - she's like that with everyone. And my little sister Ruby, she's seven and she's going to have so many questions. She's in that phase where she wants to know everything about everything."
"I can handle questions," Max says confidently, then hesitates. "What kind of questions are we talking about?"
You pretend to think about it. "Oh, you know, probably things like 'How fast have you ever driven?' 'Have you ever crashed?' 'Do you want to marry my sister?'"
Max nearly chokes on air at the last one, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "You're joking, right?"
"About Ruby? Nope, she has absolutely no filter," you laugh, then soften your voice. "But seriously, they're going to love you. Just be yourself - the you I know, not the racing driver everyone else sees."
He pulls you closer, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I'd love to spend Christmas with your family. I can't wait to meet them." He pauses, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Should I wear my race suit when I meet your dad?"
You swat his arm, laughing. "Don't you dare! He'll actually faint." You settle back against his chest, feeling warm and content. "Thank you for saying yes. It means a lot to me."
"Thank you for asking me," he murmurs into your hair. "I love you."
"I love you too," you respond, smiling as his arms tighten around you. The documentary continues playing, forgotten again as you both start planning for Christmas, trading ideas and jokes about how to break the news to your family.
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You're sitting cross-legged on Max's bed while he's in the shower, your phone propped up against a pillow as you FaceTime your family. Your mom's face fills most of the screen, with your dad peering over her shoulder and little Ruby bouncing around trying to get a better view.
"Honey, we can barely see you. The lighting is terrible," your mom critiques, and you adjust your position slightly.
"Better?"
"Much better! Now, what's this important thing you wanted to tell us about Christmas?" Your mom asks, while Ruby shouts "Is it presents?" in the background.
You take a deep breath, trying to contain your smile. "Well, I wanted to let you know that I'm bringing someone with me this year… my boyfriend."
There's an immediate explosion of excitement. Ruby starts jumping up and down, your mom gasps dramatically, and your dad's eyebrows shoot up with interest.
"Finally!" your mom exclaims. "We've been wondering when you'd introduce him. You've been so secretive about this boyfriend of yours."
"What's his name?" Ruby pipes up, her face suddenly taking up half the screen as she pushes closer to the camera. "Is he nice? Does he like Disney movies?"
You laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Yes, Rubes, he's very nice. And his name is…" you pause, knowing what's coming. "Max. Max Verstappen."
There's a moment of silence before your dad bursts out laughing. "Good one, sweetheart. Now, what's his real name?"
"I'm serious, Dad. I'm dating Max Verstappen."
Your mom is trying to hold back her laughter now too. "Honey, isn't that the racing driver you and your father are always watching? The one your dad has all those caps and shirts of?"
"Yes, and I'm actually dating him," you insist, feeling your cheeks heat up.
Ruby's face scrunches up in confusion. "The fast car man? From TV?"
"The very same one, Rubes."
Your dad wipes tears from his eyes. "Come on now, what's next? Are you going to tell us you're best friends with Lewis Hamilton too?"
"Dad!" you groan, running a hand over your face. "I'm being serious! We've been dating for almost a year. I'm literally at his place right now!"
"In Monaco?" your dad asks skeptically. "Prove it."
You swing your phone around to show the familiar view of Monaco through the windows, but your dad just shakes his head. "Could be any apartment in Monaco."
"You're impossible!" you huff. "Fine, don't believe me. You'll see at Christmas."
Ruby presses her face closer to the screen again. "Will he bring his race car?"
"No, Rubes, he can't bring the race car," you say, softening your tone for your little sister. "But I promise you'll love him."
After a few more minutes of your family teasing you about your "imaginary Formula 1 driver boyfriend," you end the call with a mix of frustration and amusement. Just as you flop back onto the bed, you hear the bathroom door open and Max walks out, his hair still damp from the shower.
"How'd it go?" he asks, noticing your expression.
You let out a laugh. "They think I'm making you up. They literally don't believe I'm dating you."
Max raises his eyebrows, looking amused as he sits next to you on the bed. "Really?"
"Really. Dad laughed so hard he nearly cried. And Ruby, my little sister, just wants to know if you're bringing your race car for Christmas."
"Sorry to disappoint Ruby," he grins, then looks thoughtful. "You know, maybe we should've waited to tell them in person. The looks on their faces would've been priceless."
"Oh, don't worry," you sit up, wrapping your arms around his neck. "They'll still be priceless. Dad's going to lose it when he realizes all those times he was rambling about you during races, he was actually talking about his daughter's boyfriend."
Max laughs, pulling you closer. "What else should I know before meeting them?"
"Well, Ruby's seven and obsessed with Frozen. She'll definitely make you watch it and probably sing along too."
"I can handle that," he says confidently.
"And recite all the lines?"
"…Maybe not that."
"And act out the scenes with her?"
Max's eyes widen slightly. "What have I gotten myself into?"
You kiss his cheek. "Too late to back out now, Verstappen. You're stuck with us."
"Wouldn't have it any other way," he murmurs, pulling you in for a proper kiss. "Even if it means playing Olaf the snowman."
"Oh no, you'll definitely be playing Elsa. Ruby's very particular about casting."
The look of horror on his face makes you burst out laughing, and soon he's joining in too. As your laughter dies down, you can't help but think about how perfect this feels - being here with him, planning to spend Christmas with your family, even if they don't believe you yet. You can't wait to see their faces when you show up at their door with Max Verstappen himself.
"Hey," Max says softly, breaking into your thoughts. "What are you smiling about?"
"Just thinking about how Christmas is going to be interesting this year."
"Interesting is one way to put it," he grins. "Should I wear my race suit when we arrive?"
"Don't you dare! Dad will actually faint."
"That's kind of the point," he winks, and you grab a pillow to hit him with, both of you dissolving into laughter again.
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"Let me guess, another text from 'Max Verstappen'?" your dad teases from his spot at the kitchen counter, making air quotes with his fingers. He's wearing one of his many Red Bull Racing shirts, completely oblivious to the irony.
"Actually, yes," you reply, rolling your eyes. "He'll be here soon."
Your mom chuckles while peeling potatoes. "Honey, you can just tell us who your boyfriend really is. We won't judge, even if he's not a Formula 1 champion."
"Mom, I've told you a million times-"
"LOOK!" Ruby crashes into the kitchen, pointing at the TV in the living room where they're showing highlights from the last race. "It's YN's boyfriend!" She dissolves into giggles, clearly in on what she thinks is a funny joke.
"Very funny, Rubes," you mutter, but check your phone again when it buzzes.
Max: "Just turned onto your street. Nice neighborhood 😉"
Your heart starts beating faster. "He's here," you announce, heading toward the front door.
"Oh, we're still doing this?" your dad calls after you, amused. "Should I get my Max Verstappen cap for him to sign?"
"Actually, Dad, yes, you should," you shout back, slipping on your boots.
"Sweetie," your mom starts in that gentle voice she uses when she thinks you're being ridiculous, "you don't have to-"
The sound of a car pulling up interrupts her. You open the front door and step out onto the porch, watching as Max's car comes to a stop in your driveway. Your family has crowded behind you in the doorway, probably expecting to catch you in your "lie."
Max steps out of the car, looking unfairly handsome in his dark winter coat and scarf. His face lights up when he sees you, and you don't hesitate to run down the steps toward him.
"Hi," he grins, catching you in a tight hug and lifting you slightly off your feet. "Missed you."
You hear a loud gasp behind you, followed by what sounds like your dad choking on air.
"Missed you too," you murmur against his chest before turning to face your family, keeping one arm wrapped around his waist.
The scene on your front porch is priceless. Your dad's mouth is hanging open, his face pale except for two bright red spots on his cheeks. Your mom has both hands pressed to her face in shock. Ruby is the only one moving, bouncing up and down with excitement.
"IT REALLY IS THE FAST CAR MAN!" she shrieks, breaking the silence as she barrels down the steps toward you both.
Max laughs, crouching down to her level. "Hi Ruby. Nice to finally meet you. Your sister has told me a lot about you."
"You're real!" she exclaims, poking his arm as if to make sure.
"Very real," he confirms, looking thoroughly amused.
"I… you… but…" your dad stammers, still frozen in the doorway.
"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. LN," Max says, standing back up and guiding you and Ruby toward the porch. "Thank you for having me for Christmas."
Your mom seems to snap out of her shock first. "Oh my goodness, please come in! It's freezing out here. I… oh dear… the potatoes… I should… more food… I need to…"
"Mom, breathe," you laugh, as Max follows you inside.
Your dad hasn't moved an inch, still staring at Max like he's seeing a ghost. "You're… you're actually… the Brazil overtake…"
"Dad, no F1 talk yet!" you warn. "Let him at least get his coat off first."
"Right! Yes! Coat!" your dad says frantically. "I'll take your coat! And then maybe… could you… would you mind signing my…"
"Collection?" you finish for him, smirking. "The one you thought I was making up?"
Max raises his eyebrows at you, remembering your conversation about your dad's merchandise collection.
Ruby tugs on Max's hand. "Do you want to see my Frozen dolls? And can we watch the movie? Sissy said you've never seen it!"
"Ruby, let him settle in first," your mom calls from the kitchen, where she appears to be panic-cooking. "Oh God, is the food good enough? Do Formula 1 drivers have special diets? Should I-"
"Mom, the food will be perfect," you assure her, then turn to Max. "See? I told you they'd be cool about it."
Max tries to suppress his laugh as your dad continues to stare at him in awe, your mom stress-cooks enough food to feed an army, and Ruby continues pulling on his hand.
"Very cool," he agrees, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Though I think your dad might need to sit down."
"I'm fine!" your dad squeaks, then immediately sits down heavily on the nearest chair. "Just… just give me a minute to process that my daughter is actually dating Max Verstappen and I've been accidentally talking about my future son-in-law during every race and-"
"DAD!" you exclaim, feeling your face heat up while Max chuckles beside you.
"What? I'm just saying… all those times I said 'that Verstappen boy would make someone a good husband someday' and it turns out-"
"Okay!" you interrupt loudly. "Who wants coffee? Max, come help me with coffee!"
As you drag a laughing Max toward the kitchen, you hear Ruby start explaining the entire plot of Frozen to him, your mom muttering about needing to buy more food, and your dad still talking to himself about racing statistics.
"Still think this was a good idea?" you whisper to Max.
He pulls you closer, grinning. "The best. Though you might want to tell your dad to breathe before he passes out."
"Can we build a snowman after coffee?" Ruby calls out.
"Only if Max gets to be Elsa!" you shout back, earning you a playful glare from your boyfriend.
Looking around at your slightly chaotic but loving family, and seeing how naturally Max fits into it all, you can't help but smile. This is definitely going to be a Christmas to remember.
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The initial chaos has settled into a cozy scene in your living room. You're curled up on the couch next to Max, who has Ruby practically attached to his side. She hasn't stopped talking since everyone sat down, and Max, to his credit, is giving her his complete attention.
"And then Elsa makes this huge ice castle," Ruby explains, using elaborate hand gestures. "Can you drive as fast as Elsa runs up the mountain?"
"Probably faster," Max answers with a grin, making Ruby's eyes widen.
"Even in the snow?"
"Even in the snow."
Your dad, who's finally regained his ability to form complete sentences, sits in his armchair trying very hard not to bombard Max with racing questions. He keeps opening his mouth, then closing it again when you give him a warning look.
"It's okay, Dad," you laugh. "You can ask him one race question. Just one."
Your dad looks like he might cry from happiness. "The overtake in Brazil-"
"Which one?" Max asks with a playful smirk, and your dad launches into an enthusiastic discussion about racing lines and grip levels.
Your mom returns from the kitchen with a tray of hot chocolate and cookies, having finally accepted that she doesn't need to cook enough food for an entire F1 paddock. "Here we go. I hope it's okay, Max. YN mentioned you like hot chocolate."
"It's perfect, thank you," Max says warmly, accepting a mug.
Ruby immediately reaches for a cookie, then pauses. "Do race car drivers eat cookies?"
"Only the fast ones," Max whispers conspiratorially, making her giggle.
"Ruby, give Max some space to breathe," your mom says gently, noticing how your sister is practically in his lap.
"It's fine," Max assures her. "I have nephews. I'm used to it."
Ruby beams at this information. "Really? Do they like Frozen too?"
"I don't know, but I'm sure they'd love to hear your explanation of it," he says, and Ruby launches into another detailed plot summary.
You catch your mom watching the interaction with soft eyes, all her earlier panic forgotten. She meets your gaze and mouths 'He's wonderful' when Ruby isn't looking.
Your dad has moved on from Brazil to discussing tire strategies, but stops himself mid-sentence. "Sorry, I'm probably boring you. You live this stuff."
"Not at all," Max says sincerely. "It's nice talking about it with someone who understands racing. YN usually just tells me to stop being a nerd when I talk about tire compounds."
"Because you spent two hours explaining the difference between C3 and C4 compounds!" you defend yourself.
"It's fascinating stuff," your dad says eagerly, and Max nods in agreement.
"Oh no, there's two of them now," you mutter to your mom, who laughs.
Ruby tugs on Max's sleeve. "Can we watch Frozen now? Please? You promised!"
"Ruby, let Max rest a bit," your mom starts, but Max shakes his head.
"A promise is a promise," he says solemnly to Ruby. "Should we watch it now?"
Ruby squeals with delight, jumping up to get the remote. Your dad looks slightly disappointed that his racing talk is being cut short, but you can see him hiding a smile at Ruby's excitement.
"Fair warning," you whisper to Max as Ruby sets up the movie, "she knows every word. And she will sing along."
"As long as she doesn't expect me to sing," he whispers back.
"MAX!" Ruby calls, patting the spot next to her on the floor where she's arranged pillows. "You have to sit here! It's the best spot!"
Max obliges, settling down next to her while you stay on the couch, exchanging amused looks with your parents as Ruby starts the movie, already mouthing along to the opening music.
Your mom leans over to you. "I'm sorry we didn't believe you," she whispers. "He's lovely. And so good with Ruby."
"I told you," you whisper back, watching as Ruby explains to Max why Elsa has ice powers.
Your dad joins in the whispered conversation. "Think he'd sign my mug collection later?"
"Dad!"
"What? I'm just saying, Christmas cards would be sorted for the next few years…"
You're about to respond when Ruby shushes you all loudly. "This is the best part!"
Max catches your eye and winks, clearly enjoying himself despite being roped into a Disney movie viewing with a very enthusiastic seven-year-old commentator. Your heart swells watching him with your family, how naturally he fits in, how gentle he is with Ruby.
"Do you want to build a snowman?" Ruby starts singing along with the movie.
"Later, Rubes," you promise. "Let's watch the movie first."
She nods seriously, then turns to Max. "Pay attention to this part. It's very important."
"I won't miss a second," he promises, and Ruby beams at him before turning back to the screen.
Your mom reaches over and squeezes your hand, giving you a knowing look. Even your dad has stopped thinking about racing long enough to appreciate the moment – his youngest daughter sharing her favorite movie with your boyfriend, who happens to be the F1 driver he's been fan-boying over for years.
It's perfect, you think, watching your family and Max together. Different from how you imagined telling them, but perfect nonetheless.
"Shh!" Ruby whispers loudly. "Elsa is about to sing Let It Go!"
Max shoots you a slightly panicked look as Ruby starts to stand up, clearly ready to perform the whole number. You just grin and shrug. After all, you did warn him about the singing.
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Later that evening, you finally manage to steal a moment alone with Max. Ruby had fallen asleep during the third replay of Frozen, and your parents took her up to bed before retreating to the kitchen to finish some Christmas preparations.
You find Max on the back porch, leaning against the railing and looking up at the stars. The winter air is crisp, and you can see his breath forming little clouds in the darkness. Quietly, you step out and wrap your arms around him from behind, pressing your cheek against his back.
"Hey," he says softly, turning in your arms to face you. His hands find their way to your waist, pulling you closer. "Needed a little break from being Elsa?"
You laugh quietly, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. "You were amazing with Ruby today. I think you're officially her new favorite person."
"She's a sweet kid," he smiles, then adds with a playful glint in his eyes, "Though I didn't expect to watch Frozen two times in one day."
"Just wait until tomorrow. She'll probably want to act it out."
He groans dramatically, but you can see the fondness in his expression. "The things I do for you."
"Mmm, and I appreciate every one of them," you murmur, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him softly.
Max responds immediately, one hand moving to cup your face while the other pulls you even closer. The kiss is gentle and unhurried, full of unspoken emotions. When you finally pull back, he rests his forehead against yours.
"Thank you," you whisper.
"For what?"
"For being so perfect with my family. For watching Frozen multiple times. For not running away when my dad started his racing commentary."
He chuckles, the sound rumbling in his chest. "I like your family. Your dad's racing knowledge is impressive, your mom's trying very hard not to mother me to death, and Ruby…" he pauses, smiling. "Ruby reminds me of Victoria at that age."
You snuggle closer, seeking his warmth in the cold air. "I was so nervous about telling them, and then even more nervous when they didn't believe me. But this… this is better than I imagined."
"Even with your dad asking me to sign his entire Red Bull merchandise collection?"
"Hey, at least he waited until after dinner," you laugh. "Though I'm pretty sure he's in there right now planning which items to bring out first."
Max wraps his arms more securely around you, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I love you," he says quietly, and your heart skips a beat like it does every time he says those words.
"I love you too," you reply, tilting your face up for another kiss.
This one is deeper, more passionate, until you hear the back door creak and quickly step apart.
"Oh!" your mom exclaims, looking flustered. "Sorry, I just… wanted to ask about breakfast preferences… but it can wait… carry on!"
She disappears back inside, and you both burst into quiet laughter.
"We should probably go back in," you sigh, though you make no move to leave his embrace.
"Probably," he agrees, but instead of letting go, he pulls you back for one more kiss. "Five more minutes?"
You smile against his lips. "Five more minutes."
In the quiet of Christmas eve, wrapped in each other's arms, you can't help but think how perfectly he fits into your life, into your family, into your heart. Tomorrow there'll be more Frozen, more racing talk, more of Ruby's endless questions, but right now, it's just the two of you, and it's everything.
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The winter sun is just beginning to peek through the curtains of your childhood bedroom, casting a soft golden glow across the room. You're wrapped in warmth, nestled against Max's chest with his arm draped around your waist. His steady breathing tells you he's awake before he even moves.
"Good morning," he murmurs against your neck, his voice still rough with sleep. His lips brush against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.
"Morning," you whisper back, feeling his hand slowly slide beneath your sleep shirt, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin.
"Sleep well?" he asks innocently, but his actions are anything but innocent as he presses closer, leaving a trail of kisses from your shoulder to your ear.
"Max," you breathe, caught between wanting to lean into his touch and knowing you should stop. "We can't… my parents…"
"Then we'll have to be very, very quiet," he whispers, nipping at your earlobe. His hand travels higher under your shirt, making your breath hitch.
You turn in his arms, ready to either give in or properly protest - though the way he's looking at you, eyes dark with desire and that signature smirk playing on his lips, makes you lean heavily toward the former.
"You're trouble," you murmur, reaching up to run your fingers through his disheveled hair.
He leans down to capture your lips in a heated kiss. "You love it."
Just as his hand starts to wander again, a voice pierces through the quiet morning:
"IT'S CHRISTMAAAAS!" Ruby's excited scream echoes through the entire house, followed by the thundering of small feet running down the hallway. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! SANTA CAME!"
Max drops his forehead to your shoulder with a frustrated groan. "Your sister has impeccable timing."
"Welcome to Christmas with Ruby," you laugh, pressing a consoling kiss to his cheek. "I tried to warn you."
"YN! MAX!" Ruby's fists pound on your door. "GET UP! There are presents EVERYWHERE! And it SNOWED!"
"Five more minutes, Rubes!" you call back.
"NO MINUTES! NOW!" she insists, continuing to knock. "Mom said breakfast is ready and Dad made hot chocolate and I SAW A HUGE PRESENT WITH MY NAME ON IT!"
Max chuckles against your shoulder. "I suppose we should…"
"PLEASE!" Ruby calls again. "I promise I'll let you drink your coffee first!"
"That's quite the offer from her," you tell Max. "She usually doesn't allow any delays on Christmas morning."
"We're coming, Ruby!" Max calls out, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. "Give us two minutes to get dressed."
"TWO MINUTES! I'm counting!"
You can hear her dramatically counting down in the hallway, making Max laugh. "She's serious about this, isn't she?"
"Oh, you have no idea."
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The living room is a festival of color and chaos when you finally make it downstairs. Ruby's bouncing by the tree in her Christmas pajamas, while your parents are settled on the couch with steaming mugs of coffee.
"Finally!" Ruby exclaims. "I counted way past two minutes!"
"Sorry, princess," Max says, accepting a coffee mug from your mom. "But I'm here now."
"Max, sweetheart, you really didn't have to get us anything," your mom says, noticing the pile of presents he'd arranged under the tree last night.
"Of course I did," he replies warmly. "It's Christmas."
Ruby's practically vibrating with excitement as your dad starts distributing gifts. "Can I open mine from Max first? Please?"
At your nod, she tears into the elaborate wrapping paper, gasping when she reveals a beautiful wooden chest with golden details. "It's like a treasure chest!"
"Open it," Max encourages, smiling.
Ruby lifts the lid carefully, her eyes widening. Inside is a complete collection of princess dresses, each one a perfect replica from different Disney movies, along with matching accessories and a tiara for each one.
"The chest is magical," Max explains, kneeling beside her. "Every time you open it, there might be a new surprise inside. And look at this…" He reaches in and pulls out a small envelope.
Ruby opens it to find a letter with the Disney castle letterhead. "Dear Princess Ruby," she reads aloud, her voice getting more excited with each word. "You are cordially invited to spend a royal weekend at Disney World, where you will have a private breakfast with all the Disney princesses…"
She doesn't even finish reading before launching herself at Max, nearly knocking him over. "Thank you thank you thank you! Can I try on the Elsa dress right now?"
"After presents," your mom laughs. "Let's see what else Santa brought."
Your dad opens his gift next, finding an envelope that makes him pause. "Son," he says, voice thick with emotion as he reads the contents. "This is…"
"VIP passes to the British Grand Prix," Max confirms. "Including garage access, grid walk, everything."
Your dad has to sit down, clutching the passes like they might disappear. "This is… I can't…"
"And this," Max hands him another package, "is just a little something extra."
Inside is a vintage racing jacket from your dad's favorite driver from the 80s, signed and authenticated. Your dad actually tears up.
Your mom opens her gift next, despite protesting again that Max shouldn't have gotten them anything. She unwraps a beautiful pair of earrings.
"Oh, Max," she whispers, "This is beautiful."
Ruby, who has been surprisingly patient, tugs at Max's sleeve. "Can we do my princess breakfast now?"
"After we finish presents," you laugh. "And maybe we should have real breakfast first?"
"But I'm a princess now," she declares. "Princesses have special breakfast times."
Your mom shakes her head fondly. "How about pancakes fit for a princess?"
"With chocolate chips?" Ruby negotiates.
"With chocolate chips," your mom confirms. "Max, honey, how do you like your pancakes?"
"However they're made is perfect," he assures her, but your mom is already heading to the kitchen, muttering about making sure she has enough chocolate chips.
Your dad finally finds his voice again. "Max, this is too much…"
"It's not," Max says firmly. "You're… you're family now. Or at least, I hope…"
He glances at you meaningfully, making your heart skip a beat.
Later, after pancakes and multiple princess dress changes from Ruby, you manage to steal some time alone with Max in your favorite spot on the back porch. The morning sun has warmed the air slightly, but there's still a crisp winter chill that gives you an excuse to stay close to him.
"Your turn," Max says softly, pulling out a small wrapped box from his pocket.
Your hands tremble slightly as you unwrap it, revealing a velvet jewelry box. Inside is a delicate silver necklace with two intertwined pendants - a heart and a tiny racing helmet.
"Max," you breathe, touching the pendants gently. "It's beautiful."
"Look at the back," he says quietly, his voice carrying a note of nervousness you rarely hear.
You turn the heart over to find an engraving: "You're my biggest victory. -MV"
"I love you," you whisper, pulling him down for a kiss. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as if you're the most precious thing in his world.
When you finally part, you hand him your gift - a wrapped box that makes him raise his eyebrows at the weight.
Inside, he finds a handmade scrapbook filled with your personal moments - sneaky paddock kisses, quiet mornings at home, victory celebrations, and candid moments no one else has seen. The final page holds a photo from yesterday - Max on the floor with Ruby, both laughing during their third viewing of Frozen.
"This is…" he starts, voice thick with emotion.
"Wait," you say softly, reaching into your pocket. You pull out a key on a simple keychain. "I thought… maybe… if you wanted…"
"Move in with you?" he finishes, breaking into that brilliant smile that never fails to make your heart race. "Yes. Absolutely yes."
He pulls you into another kiss, deeper this time, one hand cradling the back of your head while the other holds the key carefully.
"MAX!" Ruby's voice carries from inside. "I need help with my Cinderella shoes! And then we have to build a snowman! A FROZEN snowman!"
You both laugh against each other's lips.
"Duty calls, Elsa," you tease.
"Only if you'll be my Olaf," he grins, pressing one more quick kiss to your lips.
"Always," you promise, letting him lead you back inside where Ruby waits, already changed into her third princess dress of the morning.
Your dad catches your eye as you pass, "If you don't marry this boy," he whispers, "I will."
"Dad!"
"I'm just saying," he shrugs, then heads outside to join the snowman-building committee.
Your mom appears at your other side, wrapping an arm around you. "He's right, you know. He's perfect for you."
You lean your head on her shoulder, watching Max let Ruby direct him on where to place the snowman's arms. "I know," you smile. "I know."
"Best Christmas ever?" she asks softly.
Looking at your family, and Max in the middle of it all, belonging there like he's always been part of it - you smile.
"Best Christmas ever," you agree.
2K notes · View notes
gabseyoo · 3 months ago
Text
DON'T WASTE THE NIGHT — SAKUSA KIYOOMI
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content: college/university!au, halloween setting, female reader, virgin!kiyoomi, popular!reader, virginity loss, mutual pining, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, pretty vanilla but cute, mean girls references, kiyoomi might be a little occ, he’s shy :(, atsumu being atsumu. word count: 8,0k.
notes: yes i’m late to halloween but i don’t care :) it’s being so long since i posted a one shot and i had this idea for maybe a year, two (?), and i finally had the inspiration to write everythiiing. i’m happy with the result, i hope you like it too <3
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Halloween parties were not Kiyoomi's thing. Rather, no party at all. He didn't like the crowds, the drunks, or the excessive noise. But thanks to his group of friends (which he doesn't even remember how he ended up being a part of), staying away from parties was almost impossible, so it was already a common thing for him to be dragged to one every weekend where he would be counting the minutes to leave and drive all his drunk friends home. 
But, that was not the case tonight. 
Surprisingly, it was the first time Kiyoomi didn't want to leave a party, and that was thanks to a certain someone who had shown up at the Miya's Halloween party. 
"Just go talk to her." 
Kiyoomi almost jumped in surprise at the sudden appearance of his personal headache, also known as Atsumu. 
"Who?" He asked, playing dumb because he knew perfectly well who the blond was referring to, and mentally slapped himself for not being more discreet.
Atsumu snorted, "Y/n. You're staring at her like a creep." He said, pointing his head in your direction across the room, where you were talking enthusiastically with your friend, dressed in a pink tracksuit. "I don't blame you. She's pretty."
Sakusa kept silent, trying to suppress his need to agree out loud, because of course you were pretty. More than pretty. 
"You like her, don't you?" 
Kiyoomi sighed heavily, obviously uncomfortable with the question. It was obvious he liked you. Very much. But he didn't trust Atsumu to be able to not make a big deal out of the fact that Sakusa liked someone, so he decided to answer his question with a dry: "No."
"Liar." The blond replied. "It's pretty obvious that you like her."
"I don't like her." He insisted, though he already knew it would be in vain, it wasn't for nothing he called Atsumu his headache.
"So you hate her and you're staring at her 'cause you're planning her murder?"
Jesuschrist.
"I'll be planning your murder if you don't shut up." 
Atsumu pursed his lips and Kiyoomi thanked god in his head. But the fake threat seemed to work only for a limited time, because the twin spoke again seconds later, making him roll his eyes.
"Don't you even think she's pretty?"
He let out a sigh in frustration, but agreed with the question because, c’mon, it will be a very blatant lie to deny the obvious, "She is." He admitted, "But I don't like her." 
"You do like her, there can't be any other reason why you were looking at her like that."
Kiyoomi rolled his eyes, is there a way to shut this guy down?
"Like what?" 
"Like you like her." 
"If I say so, will you shut the fuck up?" He blurted, resigned. 
"I knew it!" Atsumu exclaimed victoriously, and Kiyoomi just let out a sigh, cringing when the twin tapped him a little too hard on the shoulder as if he was congratulating him. "Wow. So Omi likes someone, huh, who knew." 
"Don't make a big deal out of it." 
"Omi, liking someone isn't a bad thing." He said in a more earnest manner, perhaps trying to show that he was actually serious and not joking about his friend’s situation. 
Kiyoomi closed his eyes for a moment and sighed before replying, "I know it's not."
"Then why don't you go and talk to her? She's in your class, isn't she? It wouldn't be weird. Maybe she likes you back."
The twin had a point. Sakusa sat behind you for two hours straight five days a week during a very boring class. While you might not call yourselves the best of friends, you could say you got along well— you would usually turn around to ask him if he understood the subject so he could explain it to you, borrow a pen or offer him a gum. Occasionally you would randomly show him your phone with something you thought was funny and there were even times when you would ask his opinion on which item to buy or which selfie to post, you would often have small conversations and even followed each other on Instagram. And, as a bonus, lately you had started walking together to the classroom exit at the end of class where you would say goodbye with a 'see you tomorrow'. 
But you liking him back? He didn't think he was that lucky.
Because, yes, maybe you weren't a stranger to Kiyoomi and he wasn't a stranger to you either, but contrary to what many believed, Sakusa Kiyoomi didn't have much experience with women, not even with having a crush on someone. The idea of talking to you outside the classroom made him nervous. You were too pretty and too charming and too popular and too hot and... out of his league.
There were times when he wondered if it was possible for you to like him? Okay, call him arrogant, but he knew he was nowhere near ugly, that was a point in his favor. But one point that was not in his favor was the fact that, yes, maybe he was good-looking, but the university was full of good-looking guys, who unlike him, were more... outgoing. Guys who smiled more and didn't have a grumpy attitude like he did, who weren't known for being rude, and who probably wouldn't think twice about asking for your number or inviting you on a date. And, honestly, he felt like one more in the very long list of men who have a crush on you. 
"It's just..." He started, but the words were lost in his throat.
"Just what?"
"She doesn't see me that way. Just leave it at that, okay?" He finished his sentence, taking a sip from the bottle of water he'd been carrying since he arrived. 
Atsumu folded his arms, glancing in your direction for a moment before making that smile that never meant anything good, "You know what? I have an idea." 
Kiyoomi panicked. "Miya, what are you gonna do?" 
"You'll thank me later." 
And just like that, Atsumu pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and before Sakusa could stop him, he started walking in your direction.
No. No. No. No. Kiyoomi's heart was going to escape from his chest. Fuck. He knew it was a bad idea to be honest with Atsumu. A. Fucking. Bad. Idea.
He watched frozen from his spot in the corner of the room the moment the blond approached you, greeting you and your friend casually before saying who knows what that made you look at him with confusion for a moment as you exchanged more words, but after something that left the blond's mouth, your face lit up with a smile. The interaction seemed to be going well, until the twin pointed— really fucking pointed—over his shoulder, and then, you connected your eyes with Kiyoomi’s for a moment. 
His feet began to move automatically. 
Towards the exit. 
He was so embarrassed. What did Atsumu say to you? What did you think? Fuck. He didn't even want to know. He was out of here, he'd move his seat to the other end of the classroom, or better yet, he'd never set foot in that class again, who cares if he had to repeat it next semester, that was better than looking you in the face after this.
"Where do you think you're goin'?" 
Sakusa was halfway to his car when he heard the twin's voice call out to him. 
"Home." 
Atsumu trotted up in front of him. "Come on. Don't be like that, listen-" 
"You fucking embarrassed me." He spat, pulling his keys out of his jacket roughly. 
"I didn't. I just did you a favor." Atsumu replied, crossing his arms proudly, which only raised Kiyoomi's anger levels.
Don't punch him. Don't punch him. Don't punch him.
"Fuck you, don't talk to me ever again."
"C'mon Kiyoomi, trust me. You think I'm capable of making a fool of you?" The twin asked with confidence in his voice. Kiyoomi simply looked at him, his silence explaining his answer, which caused Atsumu's smile to disappear. "Ouch." The twin brought a hand to his chest dramatically and Kiyoomi rolled his eyes before pressing a button on the control, removing the lock and alarm. 
He was barely about to open the car door when Atsumu spoke again. This time in a more serious tone, "Omi, I'm your friend. Just trust me. I would never do anything to hurt you."
Kiyoomi would never admit that those words made him feel a little bad about his attitude. 
Without removing his hand from the door handle, he blurted out the question that was consuming him and that he needed an answer to.
"What did you tell her?" 
For some reason, he expected Atsumu to answer with honesty, but he wasn't surprised when instead, the twin simply replied, "A wingman never reveals his secrets."
"Oh, fuck off." He mused, opening his car door just a few centimeters before the other man's hand closed it.
"Look, just go inside and talk to her. I swear I saw it in her face that she’s interested, of course, until you ran away like a chicken. I hope she's not offended and you've lost the opportunity of a lifetime." 
Only a sentence of Atsumu's words caught his attention.  
"What do you mean with 'she looked interested'?" He asked, his voice betraying him by not sounding as disinterested as he wanted it to.
Atsumu smirked. "It seems like she does see you that way."
You do?
The mere possibility of that being true, of you seeing him that way, was what prompted him to let out a last sigh and set the car alarm again before locking his keys in his hoodie. Although he wouldn't say this out loud and was still unhappy with Atsumu's actions, the twin was right in saying that this could be his chance. Maybe he should stop feeling self-conscious and just go for it. 
"If you're lying, you forget I exist." 
"Deal." Atsumu said, stretching out his hand, waiting for him to take it, but the black-haired simply brushed past him, to which the twin simply huffed in resignation before following his friend.  
Kiyoomi's feet felt heavier with every step he took back to the twins' house, he was going to do it. He was actually going to do it. He was going to talk to you outside the classroom, after whatever Atsumu had told you, which opened the door to many possibilities. One, was that you liked him; the other, was that you didn't and that you only saw him as a friend, he longed too much for the first option but he wouldn't be dissatisfied with the second, it all depended on how things turned out when he walked through the door in front of him.
Kiyoomi inhaled and exhaled, filling himself with courage before placing his hand on the doorknob. 
But that burst of bravery he was able to fill himself with was interrupted by the twin, who stopped him with a grip on the wrist.
"Don't touch m-" He didn't finish his sentence since Atsumu put something cold in the palm of his hand. 
"Here." Atsumu whispered and Kiyoomi looked at the object, frowned in confusion when he realized it was a key. "It's the key to the guest room. Use it wisely."
Use it wisely? What did that mean?
"Why would I want to-" Kiyoomi started, but the twin interrupted him, raising a finger to silence him. 
"Shh. Thank me when you're at the altar and I'm your best man. Let's go inside." 
And just like that, Atsumu grabbed his arm to pull him inside the house.
Bruno Mars' voice was blaring from the speakers in the living room, people were singing at the top of their lungs, drinking and dancing, evidently having a good time. Sometimes Kiyoomi wondered how the twins knew so many people, there were so many guests that they had to push their way through the crowd to get to where you were still standing by the kitchen area, looking spectacular as ever as you talked to your friend.
As if you sensed his presence, you turned your face and your eyes met, causing Kiyoomi's heart to skip a beat. Damn, was this a good idea?
"Here he is." Atsumu announced their arrival excitedly. "The Kiyoomi I was telling you about. Does he look familiar?"
Sakusa almost rolled his eyes, but the chuckle you let out at Atsumu's humor stopped him, "Yes, I think I know him." You replied, your eyes still fixed on the tall black-haired man in front of you. 
"Perfect!" He exclaimed, clasping his hands together enthusiastically. "Then, since there's no need for introductions, I'll leave you two alone." The twin said, patting him on the back before turning and leaving. 
"Yeah, me too." Your friend said, throwing you a mischievous look and copying Atsumu's action, losing herself in the crowd. 
Now that you were alone (if it could be considered "alone" in a room full of people), he wondered where the direct Kiyoomi was when he needed him. Say something, say something, say something, say something. He mentally shouted to himself, but he was so intimidated by your presence and the cute way you were looking at him that no words could formulate in his mouth. 
"Uh—, hi." He said after a few awkward seconds of silence, trying to play it cool by leaning against the kitchen island. 
"Hi." You replied with a smile and looked up at him, as if waiting for him to say something else, but at Kiyoomi's lack of response, you continued, "How are you?"
So fucking nervous, he wanted to say, but instead, a 'fine and you?' left his mouth. 
"Me too." You said, and he noticed how you bit your lip lightly, as if you were thinking of what to say before speaking again: "Um… did you do the homework for Monday?"
"Yes, and you?"
"Yup."
Fuck. This was pathetic. He was pathetic. If he were someone else, someone like Atsumu perhaps, he might have already charmed you with words, made you laugh and you would be having a more enjoyable conversation. 
After a sigh, you spoke again. "Are you drinking?"
"Yes." He said, raising his water bottle and feeling stupid a second later, obviously by that question you meant was he consuming alcohol. "Something like that. And you?"
"Something like that" You repeated his words, raising a glass goblet showing what appeared to be a cocktail. "It’s strawberry juice, goes with my costume, and I'm also driving tonight, so I can't drink too much."
"That's very responsible of you."
That's very responsible of you?!
Couldn't he think of something more stupid to say? Probably not. 
But if you thought his answer was stupid, you didn't give it away, since you giggled before saying, "I think it is."
In an attempt to divert attention from his very stupid comment, he took advantage of the information you gave him about the drink to salvage this interaction. "So— why the drink goes with the costume?" 
"You don't know who I am?" You asked, raising your arms to better show off your costume. It was very 2000s style. A pink tracksuit, a white blouse under it, also a necklace. 
"Uh— Paris Hilton?" He guessed, inwardly hoping he was right. 
You giggled again. "Almost. I'm Regina George's mom." You said, giving him a bump with your shoulder against his arm. And, amazingly, Kiyoomi for the first time did not find an unexpected physical contact upsetting. "What do you think? I didn't know who to dress up as and this was last minute."
"You look…" Divine. "Good."
"Thank you." As soon as your words were out of your mouth, he noticed how you stared at his outfit, squinting your eyes and making a tender gesture with your mouth that he had learned you did when you thought of something. "Come to think of it, you pretty much look like Damien in that hoodie. You should just add some sunglasses." You added after a few seconds, pointing to the blue fabric covering his body. 
Kiyoomi frowned. Damien? Who the fuck was Damien and why he looked like him? 
“Who?” He asked. 
“Damien? The guy who shows up in the middle of the gym scene? With the blue hoodie and glasses? You haven't seen Mean Girls?”
The tone in which you said it made him regret having refused his cousin’s offer to see that damn movie a few months ago. 
"No, I've only heard of it." He admitted with a shrug.
Surprisingly, you smiled at his response, "It's a classic. We should see it sometime."
We should. A half smile appeared on his face at the word we. "Yes, we should."
"Um, do you wanna go watch the beer pong game?"
Two hours later, Kiyoomi found himself having what was perhaps the longest conversation with a girl of his life, and the one he had enjoyed the most. 
After awkwardly breaking the ice and watching Atsumu lose (two times in a row) in beer pong, you moved to the living room, where you luckily found space on the couch where you had been sitting since then. 
Kiyoomi leaned back against the couch, his elbow resting on the armrest as he listened intently to you recount an embarrassing childhood memory that had him chuckling softly. The sight was rare, and his friends’ curious stares only made it rarer, he knew they were probably losing their minds right now, but he tried to ignore them, though, focusing instead on the way your eyes lit up when you spoke. You were magnetic in a way he hadn’t expected, and the realization only deepened the smile tugging at his lips. God, how much he regretted not having the self-confidence to talk to you in this way much earlier. 
“Okay, your turn.” You said, nudging his knee lightly with yours.
“My turn?”
“To tell me something embarrassing. Come on, don’t hold out on me now.” You teased, leaning just a fraction closer.
Kiyoomi let out a low groan, feigning reluctance. “Fine. But you owe me for this.”
As he started to recount a story about an unfortunate middle school haircut incident, his voice grew more animated, his laughter trying to break through every now and then, and for a moment, it felt like the rest of the room melted away.
The conversation flowed naturally, but there was an underlying tension, an awareness that neither of you could ignore. When he finished his story, you both fell into a comfortable silence, your knees still brushing against each other.
“Is it me or the twins keep staring at us?” You asked out of the blue, pointing with your head to a spot behind Kiyoomi, who didn't even want to bother turning around—because most likely no, it wasn't you—but still did, finding both twins pretending to look away before going their separate ways, Atsumu bumping into someone in the attempt. 
He sighed deeply, his lips pressing into a line. “Ignore them. They’re just… nosy.”
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “Nosy about what?”
His face turned a faint shade of red, and he leaned back, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Kiyoomi didn't want to, but he would tell you the truth. “Probably that I'm talking to a girl.”
You chuckled, maybe finding his bashfulness endearing. “Do you not talk to girls often or something?”
“No.” He said, pretending that the admission didn't make him feel a little embarrassed.
“And is there any special reason why I'm the lucky one?” 
Kiyoomi hesitated, his gaze flickering to yours before dropping to where your knees touched. His mind raced for an answer, but nothing felt sufficient—not for what he was feeling, not for why you had captivated him so completely.
“You're… different.” He finally said, his voice quieter than before.
“Different how?” You asked, your tone teasing but your eyes soft with curiosity.
He let out a breath, his hand brushing against his neck again, “You're easy to talk to. Genuine. And you're…” He stopped himself, shaking his head with a self-conscious laugh.
“I'm what?” You prompted, leaning in slightly, your voice coaxing.
“You're just… you. And I like that.”
Your playful expression softened into something warmer, and the space between you felt even smaller. “That's probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, Kiyoomi.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
The silence that followed wasn't awkward—it was charged, alive with a tension neither of you could deny anymore. His hand, resting between you on the couch, shifted slightly, his fingers brushing yours. The touch was brief, almost hesitant, but it was enough to make you glance up at him.
In that moment, something unspoken passed between you—an understanding, a shared want that neither of you could ignore any longer.
Kiyoomi leaned in slowly, his movements deliberate, as if savoring every second leading up to the moment his lips met yours. When they did, the kiss was soft, tentative at first, but it quickly deepened as the world around you faded into the background. He wasn't an experienced kisser, he hadn't done it enough times in his life to consider himself one, but he let instinct guide him, following your rhythm. It was slow and even sweet, he could taste the flavor of your gloss. Strawberry. Maybe the same one he always saw you applying in the middle of class and now decided it was his new favorite flavor. 
Kiyoomi doesn't know at what point the kiss became a little more intense. He could feel you pressing into him as you pulled one of your legs up onto his lap. He was so immersed in the kiss that he even forgot where he was, in the middle of a party, on an old couch surrounded by strangers and friends. 
This same realization also seems to have reached you, because at that very moment you broke the kiss. And even though only seconds had passed, he already missed the feeling of your lips against his. 
“Well—” You said, your voice light but still a little shaky. “I think your friends will definitely have something to talk about now.”
Kiyoomi chuckled softly, his thumb grazing over your knuckles. “Let them.”
You looked into his eyes and smiled at him, you looked very pretty with your slightly swollen lips and bright eyes. At that moment, Kiyoomi wondered if this was real or some dream, he was almost certain that his eyes betrayed how madly smitten he was by you. 
“Kiyoomi,” You said, your voice breaking him out of his thoughts.
He tilted his head slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching in curiosity. “Yeah?”
Your next words, simple yet charged, left him momentarily stunned.
“Can we go somewhere else?”
When Atsumu gave him the key to the guest room, he never thought he would actually use it. But here he was, with a very excited you at his side waiting for him to open the door. He really hoped you wouldn't ask why he had that key, because he knew he didn't want to lie to you as he also knew he didn't want to give you the explanation.  
After he opened the door, he stepped aside to let you in first before passing behind you. And something that caught him off guard was, when he barely closed the door behind him, you were quick to lock it before you put your hands on his cheeks to kiss him again. This time hungrier, more passionate. 
You were a good kisser, too good. And that only made Sakusa more nervous than he already was, he knew what you wanted, he knew where this was headed. And even though he wanted it too, the reality is that he had no idea what the fuck to do. 
His body was tensing up, overthinking the situation. He was not experienced in this area, not at all.
Still, he tried to keep up with you, walking backwards as you kissed him until he fell into a sitting position on the bed. 
In a matter of seconds, Kiyoomi watched as you took off your pink sweater, staying only in your tank top which didn't cover you for long, since you took it off immediately, leaving a very nice white bra in sight. 
It would be a lie to say that Kiyoomi was not hard. Because he was. Perhaps much harder than he had ever been in his life. 
“I really wanted to do this.” You said, and without even giving Kiyoomi time to process what you just confessed, you kissed him again, took both of his hands and brought them to your breasts as you straddled his lap. 
Kiyoomi almost choked when he felt your soft breasts under his palms, but instead of doing something with his hands, he stayed still, afraid to make a move you might not like. 
He was frustrated with himself. He literally had the girl of his dreams all over him, kissing him, letting him touch her after admitting that she wanted to do this and he just did nothing. 
Just relax, he told himself. Let yourself go. 
But his body seemed to betray him again the moment your hands went to his pants with the intention of unbuttoning them, because the first reaction he had was to stop you while from his mouth escaped a “Wait.”
“What happened?” You asked, your brow furrowed, obviously confused by his sudden reaction. 
C'mon, Kiyoomi, just tell her. She's an angel, she will understand. 
“I don't know how to say this.” He mumbled, almost to himself. Still, he took a deep breath, encouraging himself to speak. “I, uh- I don't-” He tried to explain himself, but before he could complete the sentence, you interrupted him.
“You don't want to do this, do you?” You spoke softly, Kiyoomi looked up, meeting your face which had an expression full of disappointment. 
His stomach turned over, no, no, no, no. You had misunderstood. “Y/n, that wasn't what—”
You quickly got up from his lap and bent down to pick up your shirt, “It's okay, I just-” Your voice broke as tears escaped your eyes and Kiyoomi felt like he wanted to kill himself at that moment, “I just want you to know that I'm not usually like this, but, when Atsumu told me that you liked me I thought that— I'm sorry, this is embarrassing.” The words rushed out of your mouth as you put your clothes back on. 
Kiyoomi would ignore (for now) that Atsumu really told you that he liked you literally only minutes after he admitted it, he would kill him later, now his main priority was you and clearing up this mess as soon as possible. 
“Hey, wait.” He said, holding you by the wrist to keep you from turning around and leaving. “I'm sorry. This is a misunderstanding, just, listen to me for a minute.” 
You looked at him silently before turning to face him again. 
He took a deep breath before continuing, “I like you, too much. I've been for a long time. And believe me when I tell you I really want to do it.” He admitted, and before you could say anything, he continued, “It's just that, I’m really fucking nervous. I— I've never done this.” His last words came out in a lower tone due to nerves and perhaps some embarrassment. But there was no turning back now. 
You looked at him for a few seconds, blinking at him before asking, “Done... what?”
“This.”
“Oh. Are you a…” You said, leaving the last word up in the air, but he mentally finished it for you, knowing full well what you were going to say.
A virgin.
“Yes.” He confirmed it. 
You were silent, and although it was somewhat dark, Kiyoomi could tell the shock on your face. He understood. If he were you, he might have been surprised too, since it's a fact that not many people expect. 
Kiyoomi was silent as well, silently mourning for himself. Thinking that maybe he ruined everything and a part of him was afraid that you would make fun of him. But the truth is that he was more worried if you left, how would he look at your face after that? He wouldn't be able to. It looked like he would have to take back the plan to leave that class and move to another country, which was a shame, because everything was going so well. 
His thoughts were interrupted when out of nowhere you let out a chuckle. 
“I'm kind of dramatic, don't you think?”
What? 
“I rushed to think that the reason you were a little tense and decided to stop was because you didn't like me, I never imagined that it was because you were… nervous. I'm really sorry, Kiyoomi.”
“Hey, It's okay, don't apologize. ” He said before taking both of your hands in his, “I should do it for not saying it from the beginning.”
“I didn't even give you the time to do it, I rushed too much, I should have taken it slower. But, I was excited, I mean, I just found out that the guy I like, likes me too.”
Okay, this is the second time you've admitted that you liked Kiyoomi. And wow, it felt fantastic to hear it, it felt so good and surreal at the same time that after all, it seemed that his feelings were indeed reciprocal. 
“I think I ruined the mood.” You said in a chuckle, making Kiyoomi frown. “It's okay if you want to stop.”
He didn't want to stop, in fact, he felt quite the opposite. He wanted to do it, with you and only you. So he didn't think much of it when he asked, “Do you?” 
“Huh?”
“Do you want to stop?”
He watched you bite your lip lightly before responding in the most adorable voice ever, “No.”
“Me neither.”
You looked at each other for a few more seconds before you wrapped your arms around his neck to bring your lips together again. The kiss was slower, and for some reason it felt much more intimate. 
Kiyoomi returned his hands to your waist, now feeling more comfortable enough to caress you with his thumbs before slowly moving down your hips to your thighs, you seemed to understand what he wanted, because you automatically straddled his lap again. 
After the awkward moment you just spent, his erection had softened, but when he felt your center against his crotch, combined with the kiss becoming more passionate, his dick soon got hard again. You felt it, of course you felt it. That must have been why you began to move slowly over him, brushing your sex against his, which caused Kiyoomi to moan against your mouth.  
Kiyoomi by this point felt more comfortable, perhaps more confident, so he dared to run his hands up your sides until he reached the hem of your blouse. 
“Can I take it off?” He asked after breaking the kiss, and you looked so cute when you let out a giggle and nodded before raising your arms as Kiyoomi pulled up the fabric. 
Your bra came back into view, but not for long, as you brought your hands behind your back to unfasten it to let it fall to the side—Kiyoomi thanked mentally for this because he was sure it would have taken him quite a while to remove it by himself—.
The light coming through the window was enough to appreciate you well, which he was grateful for, because he really didn't want to miss any detail of seeing you this way. His thumbs went up to caress your nipples, which were erect and looked too cute. It was a gentle touch first before cradling both breasts in his hands and squeezing them gently. 
“Can I...?” The question was lost in his throat, somewhat shy even to speak during this moment. 
“Kiyoomi,” You said his name, grabbing him by the cheeks to make him look at your face, perhaps so he would be a hundred percent sure you meant what you were about to say, “You can do anything you want to me. If I don't like something, I promise I'll tell you, okay?”
He looked at you for a few seconds before answering, appreciating your face completely, from your eyes to your lips. God, you were so beautiful. “Okay.”
Kiyoomi kissed your neck and left a small peck on your collarbone before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. He took it slowly, running his tongue softly over it before sucking gently, and somehow he felt proud of himself when you let out a little moan and brought your hand to his black curls. 
He took his time, enjoying the taste of your skin in his mouth as he switched from one nipple to the other and finding delight in the little sounds you made until he felt eager for more. When he parted his lips from you, it was to remove his hoodie and t-shirt in one motion, letting them fall to the floor. 
“Wow,” The expression came out of you almost automatically at the sight of his body. Your delicate hands went to his biceps, making a path along his skin, past his shoulders to his chest. “How can you be so hot?”
Your words caught him off guard, so he couldn't help the laughter that came out of him. “You think?”
“Of course, just look at you.” Your hands followed their trail, down his abs to his v-line, at that moment he knew what you would do next. You settled on his thighs, leaving more space between his crotch and yours, then lowered your hand to the noticeable bulge in his pants. 
Kiyoomi almost moaned when you stroked him and almost choked on his own saliva when your thumb circled the tip, god, he knew he was leaking and hoped it didn't feel in his pants. 
It was the moment you squeezed him, that something changed inside him, he felt eager for more, and although he didn't want to rush this, he dared to bring your lips together again and, placing a hand on your lower back to keep you from falling, he turned around to lay you down on the bed. 
When he felt your hands on the edge of your pants, he decided to break the kiss and positioned himself in the middle of your legs to help you complete the action, pulling the fabric gently down your legs to drop them on the floor. Fuck. He gave himself the pleasure of admiring for a moment your beautiful form in front of him, in nothing but underwear, and practically giving yourself to him. If he was dreaming, he will kill whoever wakes him up.
His hands went up your thighs until they reached the edge of your underwear to start pulling it down, you raised your hips to help him and that was the moment where Kiyoomi saw for the first time your pussy. He gulped when in top of that, you spread your legs just as he finished removing the garment, exposing you completely to him, letting him see all of you. 
Now, what was he supposed to do? Sakusa was not completely uneducated on the subject, he knew where he was supposed to touch or even kiss. But he also knew that knowing it wasn't the same as doing it. So he preferred to be honest and let you guide him rather than try to do something he wasn't entirely sure you would like. 
“I really want to make you feel good, but, can you just…” For some reason (embarrassment) the words were lost in his throat. 
“Guide you?” You finished the sentence for him. 
“Something like that.” He mumbled. 
You smiled with what Kiyoomi guessed would be tenderness before taking his hand and guiding it to the middle of your legs. 
The first touch almost knocked the wind out of him and made his erection press harder against his pants, fuck, you were so wet and he could hardly believe it was because of him. 
Sakusa leaned forward with one arm by the side of your head, meeting your face a few inches from his as you whispered to him how to please you. He circled your clit at the speed you liked, thrusting his fingers in and out, hitting that sensitive spot inside you that you helped him find, enjoying the moans that came from your beautiful lips and the way one of your hands squeezed his shoulder with pleasure. 
You kissed him the moment you started to cum on his fingers, your legs even trembled and Kiyoomi had never felt so proud of himself. He kissed you with the same desire, not ceasing to give you pleasure until you asked him to stop because of over stimulation. 
“God… you're so beautiful.” The words came out of their own accord as he looked down at you. 
“You think?” You smirked. 
“Every day.” 
“I never thought you'd see me that way, you know?” Those words were kind of funny coming from you. The girl who was the dream of many. Including his own. 
“Why?” 
You shrugged, a playful glint in your eyes as you leaned slightly closer. “Because you’re you, Kiyoomi. Cold, composed, and…” You paused, pretending to think. “Kind of scary sometimes.”
He raised an eyebrow at that, but the small smile tugging at his lips betrayed his amusement. “Scary?”
“You know what I mean.” You teased. “You’re just… untouchable. Like, you don’t even notice anyone half the time.”
Kiyoomi chuckled softly, the sound low and warm. “I notice you.”
Your smile faltered for a second, replaced by something softer, something real. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He said. “You’ve always stood out to me. Even when I tried to act like you didn’t.”
You tilted your head, your expression thoughtful. “Why did you try to hide it?”
He hesitated, scratching the back of his neck as he glanced away for a moment. “Because… I didn't think I'd ever have a chance. I thought you were way out of my league.”
Your laugh was soft, light, and you reached out to gently take his hand. “Kiyoomi, you're ridiculous.”
“Am I?”
“Absolutely.” You said, patting his bicep lightly. “Because if you had just talked to me sooner, you'd know I've been trying to get your attention for ages.”
His eyes widened slightly, his lips parting as he tried to process your words. “You… what?”
You grinned, leaning in just enough that your noses almost touched. “I've always liked you, Kiyoomi. I just didn't think you'd ever notice.”
Kiyoomi stared at you, his heart pounding in his chest, before his lips quirked into a lopsided smile. “Guess we're both ridiculous, then.”
“Guess we are.” You murmured, and this time, it was you who closed the distance, your lips brushing his in a kiss so soft and sweet, the total opposite of the words that came out of your mouth next, “Now, please fuck me before I lose my mind.” 
Of course he would, his mind and his cock couldn't hold back any longer. 
“Just. Let. Me. Take– Take these off.” He said between kisses as you wouldn't let go, insisting on keeping his lips on yours with your palms on his cheeks. 
Kiyoomi did his best to remove his jeans and underwear in one go without breaking the kiss, but in the end, he had to do so (albeit unwillingly), when the last of his clothes were on the floor and the two of you were completely naked, to say something he remembered at the last minute. 
“I don't have a condom.”
This was bad, unfortunately Kiyoomi didn't carry any with him right now. The only one he used to carry in his wallet (just in case), he ended up giving it to Atsumu two weeks ago at a party, since at the time, the twin needed more than he did. Now he regretted it. 
You looked at him for a moment, processing his words before saying, “I don't care if you don't care.” 
“Are you sure?” He asked, astonishment radiating from his face.
“Very sure.”
Kiyoomi gulped before nodding, nervous about what was coming next. 
He took his cock in his palm, giving himself a few gentle strokes before lining himself up with your entrance. Your hand went to the middle of your bodies to replace his hand with yours and he heard you gasp at the feel of his shaft. 
“God, how— Kiyoomi, are you telling me you're a virgin with a dick like this?”
Kiyoomi couldn't help but let out a laugh, this was one of the things he liked most about you, how you spoke your mind bluntly. 
“I guess so.”
“Well, I wanted you to put it in in one go. But I guess we'll have to go slow.” You teased, adjusting your hips as you continued to slowly stroke his dick. 
Kiyoomi moaned as he felt your wet entrance meeting his leaking tip. He already felt in heaven and he wasn't even inside you yet. 
He placed both of his arms beside your head, looking down at you as he slowly thrust his hips forward, moving deeper into you. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This felt so good. You felt so wet, so hot, so tight that he had to mentally beg his cock not to cum soon, he couldn't embarrass himself like that. 
He pressed his lips against your forehead, kissing casually as he heard you moan as you took him in. “Does it hurt?” He asked, still with half of his dick out of you. 
“A little.” You admitted and that worried Kiyoomi, who was about to pull out, but you spoke first. “But it feels so good, just keep going, it'll fade away.” 
He nodded and continued to enter you until he was completely inside you. He had to press his forehead against yours, closing his eyes for a moment at the new feeling he was experiencing. 
“How does it feel?” He heard you ask after a minute, your sweet voice filling the silence where only your breaths could be heard. 
“Too good. Fuck. I don't think I'll last long.” He admitted, somewhat embarrassed, but still eager for more. “Can I— fuck—can I move?”
“Yes, please.”
Slowly at first, he began to move his hips, enjoying the feel of your wet walls squeezing him. Kiyoomi couldn't believe he missed out on this pleasure for so long, but he was glad that the one he was experiencing it with for the first time was you. 
He looked down at you, paying attention to your face and appreciating your expressions with adoration radiating from his eyes. How you bit your lower lip, how you opened your lips slightly, how you closed your eyes, how you smiled when you made eye contact. 
You whispered in his ear to go faster, and without a second thought, he complied with your request. He slipped both of his arms under your armpits to hold on tighter and began to thrust so hard that even the bed began to hit the wall. Thank goodness there was a party going on downstairs and the sound of the bed along with the sound of your moans would not be heard by others. 
“Kiyoomi…” You moaned his name, sounding like an angel as you did. Your hands went behind his back, holding him tightly against you and he even felt your nails digging lightly into his skin. He couldn't resist bringing your lips together again, kissing you sloppily as he moved in and out of you. 
He felt you squeeze him as your moans increased before he brought one of his hands to the middle of your bodies, circling messily over your clit, bringing you to the edge. Your legs trembled and a cute moan left your mouth as you came. Kiyoomi also moaned against your lips, you squeezed him so deliciously that he was surprised he didn't explode at that moment, but he knew he wasn't far from it. 
“I'm going to…” The words were lost in his throat as he felt his own orgasm so close. He was panting like crazy, holding you tighter against him as he settled his head in the crook of your neck and his thrusts became more intense. 
“Don't pull out, please.” 
His common sense told him that was irresponsible, but his desire along with how sexy it was to hear you say those words were stronger, because when he least realized it, he was cumming inside you— and it felt good, too good. Nothing compared to the orgasms his hand had so far provided. God, he might get addicted to you after this. 
The room fell into a silence, where only your accelerated breathing and the music muffled by the door could be heard. You both refused to move for a few moments, enjoying the touch of your skin and the vital sounds of each other. 
The dim light slipping through the windows painted faint shadows on the walls, highlighting the way your bodies pressed together. Your skin against his was warm, electric, like a spark neither of you wanted to break. Time felt like it slowed, stretching out as you both stayed perfectly still, caught in the pull of the moment. He could feel your heartbeat under his touch, steady and grounding, blending into the quiet rhythm of your breaths.
“So, how was it?” You broke the silence, stroking his back with your fingertips. 
Kiyoomi couldn't help but let out a chuckle in the midst of his quickening breath, “Mind blowing.” 
“I agree.”
Kiyoomi propped himself up on his forearms, his eyes meeting your adorable face, and he couldn't help but smile softly. He leaned down to press a quick, gentle kiss to your lips before settling down beside you. With an easy, natural motion, he slid a hand to your waist, pulling you closer to him. Now, with your head resting on his chest, he held you with the kind of tenderness that made the moment feel too perfect to let go of.
As the quiet rhythm of his breathing filled the room, Kiyoomi looked down at you, nestled against his chest. He absentmindedly traced gentle circles on your back with his fingers, his mind lingering on the softness of the moment. The warmth of your presence and the steady rhythm of your breathing calmed him, but his mind refused to settle.
He couldn't stop replaying the events of the night—the way your presence had lit up the room, the way you spoke with such ease and authenticity, and how natural it felt to be by your side. For someone who usually kept people at a distance, you had somehow bypassed every barrier he'd carefully built.
The thought made his chest tighten, but not with unease. With something new. Something he wanted to hold onto.
He glanced down at you, his heart catching at the way your eyelashes fluttered as you blinked sleepily. He knew moments like this didn't come often—not for him. And he knew it— he wanted more. 
But would you want that, too?
The doubt lingered for only a second before he pushed it aside. Tonight had been proof enough that whatever this was, it was mutual. And if he didn't take a chance, he'd regret it.
Gathering his courage, he took a breath, his voice low and steady as he broke the silence.
“Hey.” He began, the faintest hint of shyness lacing his tone. “Do you have plans tomorrow?”
You smiled, your cheek still resting against his chest. “Not yet. Why?”
“I was thinking…” He hesitated for a beat, then pressed on. “Maybe we could go out. Just the two of us.”
Your eyebrows lifted slightly, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “Are you asking me on a date, Sakusa Kiyoomi?”
“Yeah.” He said. “I want to take you somewhere nice. Anywhere you want.”
You reached up to brush a strand of hair from his face. “I'd love that.”
His lips curved into a small, genuine smile, relief flickering across his expression. “Good. I'll make it worth your while.”
“You already are.”
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spoiler: sakusa didn’t know it yet, but atsumu will actually be the best man a few years later.
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justaz · 7 months ago
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merlin who uses his magic everyday in ways that he doesn’t realize isn’t normal. magic helping him see in the dark so he can find his way in the woods or dark rooms with no problem. connecting with the woods around him so he always knows where he is and whats in the general vicinity which allows him to sense bandits just before they attack. using magic to keep warm in the cold or to cool down in the heat. confident and willing to go toe to toe with anyone bc he knows that regardless of what they throw at him, he could always win bc he could just use magic.
then somehow someway (post magic reveal) a sorcerer takes away merlin’s magic. or well just locks it away ig. but anyways merlin doesn’t have this part of him anymore and is left feeling empty, exposed, and vulnerable. arthur, the knights, and merlin going on a quest for answers to their problem and a way to get merlins magic back. but. but. but merlin is all jumpy and he’s rambling more than ever and is often reaching out to grab onto someone (usually arthur) and everyone’s confused and then they get ambushed and merlin freezes in the middle of the path like a deer. he’s watching everything go down around him with wide eyes until he’s targeted and one of the knights have to rush in to save him. afterward merlin is constantly holding someone and his grip is rather tight. he keeps looking around, his eyes scanning the trees around them over and over. when they try and settle down for the night, merlin wont leave the camp without an escort or two and when they’re trying to go to sleep, merlin is flinching at every noise in the woods around them and ends up shuffling over toward the person closest to him and laying pressed up against them.
arthur opening his mouth to tease and call him a coward when the word registers in his mind and he realizes that that’s what he’s actually seeing, merlin scared and defenseless. he ofc doesn’t realize the true depth of it all, i mean he knows merlin is missing his magic but he doesn't know that magic has always been a part of merlin, it makes him him. he’s had magic since he was born, he’s never known life without it. as he is now, he feels bare and exposed and blind and deaf and terrified. the knights are his defense rn and for the past few years, merlins been their protector so its a complete reversal of everything he’s ever known. he’s scared. arthur bites his tongue and lets merlin hold onto his arm and snuggle up close at night for some form of comfort and security. he doesn’t tease or mock and responds to his ramblings of fear with a level of gentleness the knights weren’t aware he even possessed. merlin slowly relaxing as arthur subtly comforts him without addressing it
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bogleech · 13 days ago
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top edits I'd retroactively make to whatever that version of the bible is that my country has such a big boner for (sorry I don't know what the different versions are actually called)
Drop the damnation/salvation system in favor of the kind where seriously only really really cruel selfish people go to hell but they can get out if they're actually nice deep down and are SUPER sorry for real
Take out any kind of sin that's stupid and doesn't make sense, replace with more sensible things like "don't drain wetlands" and "don't have slaves" and "if you find black goop in the ground just leave it there, trust us"
Throw in some handy instructions on what electricity is and how to build a solar panel. I wanna see what this does to the state of technology when I get back.
Explain what germs are and to wash your hands with soap please
Make the apostles more fun, like one of them should definitely be a skeleton guy and one should have plant powers.
Add a B-plot that canonizes the complete events of Adam Sandler's "Little Nicky"
Have God apologize for the existence of suffering but unfortunately all his power got used up to get Darwinian Evolution up and running
Sprinkle details about God's physical appearance all throughout until it's impossible to ignore that this is a description of a little dapper toad
I already ditched the garden of eden obviously because it's stupid but to make doubly sure western society likes snakes let's make jesus a big snake all along, and a venomous one. Biting becomes Jesus's main way of dealing with problems.
Ruin the modern protestant perception of absolute good and evil by having Jesus befriend a cool bad boy demon, which God is only a little concerned by like "(grumpy toad noises) I'm not so sure about this friend of yours young lady"
he will however slowly come around to meeting the demon's parents at a very funny dinner where everything goes TERRIBLY wrong but in the end they can all share a laugh about it
The apocalypse is a cool concept so I'd keep that but change it around so it's heaven, hell and earth uniting against a common foe: the god of the alternate, darker timeline I just erased. Nobody would know what that means but I think that would be compelling in itself. I'd like to see those philosophical debates.
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