#realized right at the end of writing this that i Have actually had people express specific interest in me

[mythalism]

i feel like all of my pondering and analyzing and criticizing veilguard over the past few months has actually truly given me a better understanding of what dragon age meant to me, what about it specifically was so meaningful, and why, as a result, veilguard felt so wrong. it took a while for me to figure it out. about three full months of relentless essay writing, actually. but i think if you had asked me a few years ago what the core of my love for dragon age was, whatever answer i gave would not have truly gotten to the root of it, because i think i had to experience the disappointment of veilguard to fully understand why i love dragon age. and ive realized that core is that i loved how the previous dragon age entries demand so much of the player, and deliberately prompt introspection and critical, often political, thought.

dragon age games have historically forced the player to be self-reflective and introspective about their worldview and beliefs. solas is obviously a fantastic example, as he was deliberately written to be a reflection of the player in order to prompt them to reflect on how they treat people, how our expectations of people influence their behavior, and how people are pushed to extremes and turned into monsters or saved by love and kindness. how do people become monsters? what drives them to blow up buildings or start rebellions or destroy the world as you know it? are they right or wrong? does it even matter? how did you contribute to this? are you innocent? it puts these insane, politically and morally charged situations in your face and forces you to confront them. slavery, a refugee crisis, poverty, class disparities, racism, foreign occupation, the list goes on, and you are not given the option to look away or be a bystander. you have to ACT. you have to choose, you have to make judgements, you have to take responsibility and explore your role in this world as someone with the capacity to act upon it, to make your will a reality, to fail, to make mistakes. i honestly can't think of any other video game that does this to the same extent? nor any media at all because the act of being IN the world as one of it's people through the act of role-playing is essential to how it provokes this experience in the player. its ballsy. they deliberately try to make you uncomfortable. these games are full of liars, deceivers, betrayers. the games themselves lie to you. its character try to deceive you. did you catch it? or were you fooled? what else might you be fooled by? who else might be lying to you? in the game? in real life? and then you get to play it again knowing the end, and what the game prompts changes with your new knowledge. now it asks, do you forgive them? what makes someone worthy of forgiveness? where do you draw the line? what do you think?

i dont think i realized until recently how impactful this was for me considering how i first got into dragon age at 16 years old. i dont think i had experienced anything up to that point that would put a situation like judging a war criminal who ordered the deaths of children or another war criminal who just left me to die and orchestrated a near-coup or a traumatized terrorist who just blew up a church right in my face, and said MAKE A DECISION. and i didnt know it at the time, but looking back i can see how valuable it was for me at that age to have what was effectively an avenue of exploration and self-expression of all of these moral and political issues that i was grappling with as a young adult. i played inquisition for the first time just months before i voted in my first presidential primary. i already had a political consciousness at this point, but it was nonetheless new and vulnerable and still blossoming into something more concrete. inquisition, then, almost provided a sort of political, moral and personal sandbox for me from ages 16-20 to better help me understand myself in relation to the world. the RPG-ness allowed me to put myself into these situations - like the mage-templar war and its metaphor for mass incarceration and police brutality - while i was also simultaneously grappling with and trying to understand these issues in real life. having dragon age to help me further unpack my own beliefs and conception of these issues was undeniably impactful. it provided a space, through a narrative i enjoyed and cared about, to make choices and judgement calls and better understand who i was, and what felt right to me. it asked, "what do you think?"

veilguard lacks this. completely. and lets be clear that the previous games did not always do a perfect job. many of these depictions are messy and harmful and problematic, but they at least, by extension of their own existence in a narrative that forces you to THINK and JUDGE and DECIDE, give me the space and opportunity to judge them as messy, as problematic, as harmful. i can confidently say that i think da2 is too sympathetic to the templars as an organization because the fact that da2 presents me with so many narrative conflicts regarding the templar organization allows me to not just make in-game decisions and play as a staunch advocate for mage freedom and circle abolition, but to form opinions on the game itself by extension. i can confidently say that i believe the qunari's portrayal is islamophobic because the game has prompted me so many times; what do i think about the qunari? what do i think about the oppression of the elves? what do i think about dorian being a seemingly good person but defending the practice of slavery? who should rule orzammar; the progressive asshole or the conservative traditionalist? do i forgive loghain? do i forgive anders? do i forgive solas? this in-world critical thinking about issues in thedas leads to meta critical thinking. further questions naturally follow -> what message did the writers intend to send through anders? how can i notice the echoes of how this story came into fruition in the shadow of 9/11? what do solas's endings tell me about the writers view of retributive punishment? how is bioware's portrayal of the dalish, as inspired by indigenous north americans, reflective of deep-seated anti-indigenous canadian sentiment? why did the writers stop prompting these hard questions at all in veilguard? did they only like it when it was about characters, not when it led to critical thinking about them and the company as a whole? through these processes of in-world interrogation, i am inevitably invited to analyze the effectiveness of their narrative portrayals and the writing itself. perhaps this is why dragon age is so famous for its discourse lol.

ive said before that im not sure that veilguard could ever have been as impactful for me as the previous games, partly because when you are 16 everything is more impactful because your brain is an eager sponge, unless it did something that really resonated with me as an adult. but what it should have been, at the very least, is something that could have been as impactful and formative on a current 16 year old that sees a gif on tumblr and decides to check out the game, as inquisition was to me 10 years ago. and im sure there are teenagers and younger adults out there playing this game and loving it and loving the characters and the world and thinking its great, good fun. thats great. however it fundamentally cannot have the same profound, developmentally catalytic experience it had on me because it simply does not challenge the player. it does not prompt them to question their own beliefs and the power structures within their lives. it does not prompt them to reflect on the political narratives they may have been fed all their lives. it does not confront them with the sorts of topics that get books on banned lists in florida and force them to bear witness, to think deeper, to feel guilt or horror at the outcome of your own poorly-made decision, to make moral judgements, to make mistakes, and to live with the consequences.

i think i now understand why veilguard was so disappointing to me and ultimately would be a failure in my eyes no matter if i enjoyed the combat or the exploration or whatever other shiny coat of paint sits atop it. veilguard does not ask much of you. it does not prompt any sort of introspection or interrogation of your presently held beliefs. it does not demand anything from the player except to dodge at the right moment. this is a fundamental, core departure from what made me fall in love with dragon age in the first place. if you love dragon age because you want "fantasy escapism" and fun characters to smooch, then i am happy for you. but i would remind you that can find fantasy escapism all over the steam library - farming sims, cozy games, a witch looking for her cat in the alps, etc. what you cannot find are games that are willing and brave enough to challenge and provoke the player into a better, more thorough understanding of themselves in relation to our world and it's many, complex and daunting political and moral issues. to have lost such a thing, when media like this has become so few and far between, and during a time when we need it more than ever, is a devastating loss.

[redcamellia13]

What the. What the actual hell. I- could somebody explain to me how the heck a throw-away blog made just over two months ago has somehow amassed 1,000 likes?

Just like last gratitude post, I’m so sorry if I seem like I’m dissatisfied or disappointed with this milestone, it’s simply because I’ve run out of ways to express how thankful I am.

😅😅😅😅😅

I’m really not sure how to express my gratitude anymore, so I’m going to begin listing all of my strongest supporters.

Yes, that’s you, @theducklord5, @aheartfullofquestions, @musicalmoritz, @frogwithaflowercrown, @blondesillyboylover, @itzyukoo, @lavender-peach-tea, @neversam, @nam-the-nacho and probably several others I am neglecting to mention (sorry! Please bear with me, my sanity’s hanging on my a thread- I’m basically running on caffeine and sugar)

I am so, so grateful to all of you for your help and patience with my spotty upload schedule, and generally low quality posts. Seriously, how do you people still support me despite my never ending struggle with constant reblogs, unoriginal ideas…

Nevertheless, I am still just in awe of this huge number. I think I’m going insane!

Now, onto the blogs that are the standard I hope to live up to, the people that are so kind, passionate, respectful, intelligent, and charismatic you sort of have to question if they’re real. (I mean that in a good way.)

I hope to have reflected some of your wonderful qualities in my own posts, and I sincerely hope you understand my pure admiration for you all.

To @god-damnit-vinne, how could I start this dedication with anybody else? The amount of charm and enthusiasm that pours out of your posts is astounding, and you are actually my first Tumblr… friend(?) Mutual? I still remember when you replied to my post, the first I had ever received- it made me so happy I spent the rest of the day smiling until my face hurt. Honestly, you are the one of the nicest guys I’ve met, period.

To @pollen-blogs, we probably aren’t exactly friends, but I do hope you remember my username. Your writing style is so clear and crisp, it makes your posts and fanfics simply fun to read! Also, your art is impeccable- truly, the whole package.

To @sakuraswifee, I am simply in awe of the amount of passion in your posts. I’m not sure if passion is the right word, but reading your posts always brings a smile to my face since you always seem to love what you’re talking about :).

To @thelunarfairy, I realize that you definitely don’t know me, but I certainly know you. Your posts and analyses are the gold standard in my mind, something all my other posts should live up to, and the way you state things makes it so easy to understand.

To @itzprismosblog, you were the second interaction I’ve had on Tumblr. You probably don’t remember, but it gave me motivation to keep posting, since at the time I was getting used to an extremely demanding new routine. Your art is stunning, and your blog never fails to make me laugh :)

To @cupidsappllie, even if your blog wasn’t one of the most entertaining I’ve seen here on Tumblr, you would probably make it here on kindness alone. If I had to shoot a guy every time you single handedly pulled me out of a posting slump, I would be arrested for murder.

To @saturnssky, my second Mutual on Tumblr. Everything on your blog feels so genuine, like I’m sitting across from you at a cafe having coffee together, and it’s this wonderful feeling of closeness that I feel really makes your blog special, and it’s something I can only hope to replicate. Additionally, you’re one of my greatest supporters, so I’m so thankful for your unending patience.

To @ocelotlesbian, merely interacting with you online has sometimes made me happier than I have been during the entire week. The way you write feels like I can hear your voice flowing through your posts, and you just seem like a nice person I’d be lucky to befriend in person.

And to all the people that didn’t get specific mentions but have still supported my blog in any way, please know I am still so thankful for everything you’ve done.

My head is still spinning from the realization that I’m not just screaming into the void anymore, people are actually seeing what I’m writing.

As always, here’s to more poor writing, badly constructed theories, and character analyses that make no sense.

[monster-noises]

I mean, there's most of me that is primarily looking for a Partner, someone to connect with and build a long term relationship.

But there is, at this point, at least a Bit of me, a slowly growing sliver

That would

At the very Least

Like someone to Match with me, on these godforsaken apps, who is very upfrontly like 'lets chat for a few days/ a week or two then go on a Date'

Cause like.. i've never Been on a fuckin Date Before Really.

And maybe I wanna know what it's Like. Maybe having a normal human experience, regardless of how it goes, would make me feel better about the whole..... Thing????? And maybe I would just enjoy it idk!

Maybe it would give me some insight, or the confidence to ask other guys on dates myself so i don't feel like i'm floundering around in the quietest corner of rhe metaphorical Room of the Apps all the time!! It would be cool!! To have even a Modicum of a connection I make from a Dating. App. To be even Remotely Interested in Dating!!!!

Don't get me wrong i've made at least two really great friends from matches on the apps, one of them i Do consider a best friend (hi hello you'll probably see this i hope you know who u are i lov u) but just!!!!

Any amount of Explicitly Forward Romantic Intent Would Be Nice.

I'd Like To Live On The Same Planet As Everyone Else And Experience Normal Human Things Just One Time In My Life Maybe. Perchance. Perhaps. If At All Possible.

And I Knoooooooooooooooow I know that the apps are Bad and I knoooooooow the far superior method is to engage with community activities that would contain like minded people. But my GOD I don't have the time or developed social skills for that! As much as I would Love to!!!

I am Aware.

But that's not the pooooint. That's not the Point.

The point is

I guess

I would just like someone to maybe someday express explicit interest in and attraction too me, and to act on that on Anyway, like it seems Everyone Else Gets To Do, even just a little bit for once.

[honey-tongued-devil]

[Arcane preference] reacting to their s/o wearing mobility aids

When I said I was prioritizing the illnesses I had, I didn’t expect the hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, but here we are. For those who don’t know what it is: it’s a genetic condition that affects the ligaments, making them longer and/or looser, which cause problems over time. In my case, it affects my legs, so I’ll write about those. As always, if you want to read more of my work, you can click on the coloured texts! here the Tumblr masterlist, and here are the first two chapters of Everytime it Rains.

socials: | INPRNT | | Tip Jar | | X | | BlueSky | | Ao3 |

Jayce:

He’s well-versed in what to do and not do, being around two people with a similar condition (though he’ll never call it a "disease" out loud for fear of making anyone uncomfortable).

His help is as subtle as possible: he’ll grab your backpack, shoulder bag, or anything else you’re carrying to keep you from overexerting yourself.

During walks, he’s the one who’ll suddenly mention it’s getting cold, too hot, or that he just remembered something, as soon as he senses you’re getting tired, assuming your fatigue is worse than his.

The first time you said, “I’ll pass, my knees are about to bend” he didn’t realize they bent backwards, and when he saw what that actually meant, he went pale.

He felt guilty about his reaction for at least a week.

Viktor:

Tell him something he doesn’t know.

He’s the one who’ll comment, “Where’s your brace?” if he sees you with bare legs and no aid, maybe tapping your foot lightly with his cane to emphasize his disapproval.

On the bad days—when fatigue, cold, or any external factor makes both of your legs useless—you end up helping each other out, spending most of the time on the couch with pillows under his knees and your legs draped over his.

If you have to do something alone while he’s busy, he’ll ask Jayce to accompany you, ensuring you don’t overdo it without realizing.

Ekko:

Honestly, he couldn’t care less. I mean, it’s not a big problem for him

The first time he saw your knees bend weirdly and too much, he just said, “Ouch.”

Other than that, there are hoverboards! If your legs stop cooperating at some point in the day, he’ll just have you balance seated on the hoverboard, saying it’s a gentleman’s duty to escort such an attractive lad/lady around.

He doesn’t ask what you want or need; he just does it, whether it’s bringing you food or removing your knee brace to let your skin breathe.

If he’s going to be away from the house for a while, he leaves a few things ready for you, like water bottles, so you don’t have to strain yourself carrying them up the stairs on your own.

When he sees you’re worn out, he’ll ask if you want a massage, using some body butter to improve circulation, relieve stress, and keep your skin elastic.

Vander:

His first instinct would be to carry you, but since that’s sweet yet sometimes awkward, you both agree that at night ‘it’s a man’s right to carry his wife/husband to bed, disability or not’.

He doesn’t know exactly how to help, so aside from asking if you need anything—like grabbing your aids, bringing them to you, or helping you put them on—he won’t push, knowing you’ll ask for help if you need it.

If you need to go upstairs, he’ll always walk behind you so that if your knees give out, he can catch you and avoid disaster.

At least two rectangular pillows appear in every useful room so you can place them under your knees. The problem is that you forget about them most of the time, so they’re not much help—at least until he comes along, lifts your legs, and places them in a more comfortable position.

"My legs hurt."

"Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m afraid we’ll have to cut them off," he jokes with a mock-serious expression, bursting into laughter when you swat at him in response.

Silco (old man):

Some things you could do on your own but feel more intimate when done together. That’s why you often trot into his office with the fabric sleeve and brace in hand, handing them to him, and he gives you his shimmer syringe in return.

There’s no specific reason beyond the mental closeness and vulnerability of the act.

“Too tight?” will always be his question, even though he knows by now how to adjust it perfectly and doesn’t need to ask.

When you’re together, he’s the one to carefully remove it, stroking your leg while lost in thought.

He never sends anyone to assist you; instead, he asks if you think it would be better to have someone accompany you, making sure you reassure him if you insist you can manage alone.

Silco (Young Man):

Zaun isn’t exactly suitable for crutches or unsteady footing, so as soon as you let him know about your condition, he feels even more compelled to improve the city (or at the very least, smooth out the streets).

He’ll ask questions—few but direct—to understand what it is and how he should act.

If you drop something, he’ll be quick but subtle about picking it up and putting it somewhere easier for you to reach.

“Do you want to go home?” is the question he’ll ask you most often, even if it’s just with a look, despite you explaining multiple times that you’ll let him know if you can’t keep going.

But he knows you push yourself beyond your limits, so he worries.

At night, he’s made it a small ritual to massage your legs when you stretch them out in bed, and it actually helps relieve the tension.

Jinx:

“I can make you a mechanical one.”

When you explain what the condition is and that you don’t need a replacement leg but help for the ones you have, she starts carrying around a notebook, taking notes on the “flaws” of your aid to make you a custom version better suited to your daily life and body.

“I’ll do it!” is her go-to response for anything you need to do that she thinks takes too much effort. She doesn’t even ask; she just throws herself into it with so much enthusiasm it becomes amusing after a while.

You don’t have many intact knee braces or aids left, because according to her, they were “boring,” and she’s customized them—though they still work pretty well.

Even if she won’t admit it, she’s become even more protective of you. For example, if someone bumps into you in the street, she’s ready to jump to your defense immediately.

Vi:

She doesn’t really know how to react or respond because of how versatile the condition is. How does she figure out which days your legs won’t work and which ones they will? Or when they’ll start hurting before it’s too late?

You two agree on a small code: you tap her hand or shoulder three times rhythmically when you start to feel fatigued so that if you’re in public or with company, you don’t have to announce it to everyone if you don’t want to. She’ll immediately understand.

She’s a little scared of doing the wrong thing. She doesn’t know how to handle it and, even though she tries not to, she starts to perceive you as more fragile, moving with a fear of accidentally hurting you.

But she learns over time. She’ll simply ask more often if you need anything when she’s going to the kitchen or the store.

And when you’re cuddling, she’ll pull your legs onto hers.

Caitlyn:

She asks you to explain the condition to her—what you can and can’t do and how she can help.

She’s the ultimate advocate for your aid.

If you skip wearing it one morning because you don’t feel like it or the pain hasn’t started yet, you can bet she’ll notice and say something.

Sure, it can be a bit annoying, but considering it’s a degenerative condition, you know she’s right, so you can’t really get mad at her.

If you’re just not in the mood, she’ll put it on for you herself, with such care that you start to wonder if there’s an instruction manual she got that you didn’t.

Beyond that, she’s not overbearing. She trusts that you’ll communicate when you don’t feel like doing something, and she doesn’t presume to know your limits better than you do.

Mel:

It’s not too much of a problem, considering most of your activities together don’t involve much walking or moving due to her work.

That doesn’t stop her from taking an interest, though. At least once a week, she’ll ask you how your legs are

If they hurt, if you need different support or more comfortable shoes, or if you just need a footrest or a cushion—she’s ready and ensures everything you might need is on hand. If she can’t get it herself, she’ll send someone.

During dinners, she privately asks whoever is in charge of arranging things to provide you with a footrest and an extra cushion on your chair. If you tell her it’s unnecessary, her response will be, “Can’t I spoil my partner a little?”

She knows you’ll let her know if you’re having issues, but she takes all the necessary precautions to ensure no problems arise in the first place.

Sevika:

Again, tell her something she doesn’t know.

The difference between your legs and her arm—besides the fact that yours are still intact—is that they require less messy and time-consuming maintenance than hers. So not only does she not mind helping, but she hardly even notices.

She won’t ask if you need anything unless you say so or show explicit signs of struggling. It’s a deliberate choice to avoid making you feel like she thinks you’re not independent or capable.

On the couch or in bed, she’ll have you rest your legs on hers and prop you up with cushions behind your back, making sure you’re fully supported.

[muletia]

[tfp] obsessed!optimus prime x human!reader

summary: you cuddle, that's it :)

cw: fluff, comfort, pinch of angst, established relationship, silliness, extremely self-indulgent, the idea spawned in my head and i had to write it immediately

word count: 1200

an: for the anons and non-anons in my inbox: i see you and i appreciate every ask you sent me, some ideas are really lovely and cute and i will write drabbles about them. i just don't want to force myself to write 24/7 because i get burn out very easily, so it may take me some time to answer you all :DD

You can see it in his optics right away. Sadness, regret, exhaustion. He’s utterly drained, even if his frame doesn’t betray it. Always upright, with perfect posture, to set an example, to be a symbol for his people. But you’ve seen through that facade for a long time now.

He approaches you, a small human sitting on his berth with a book in your hands, wrapped in a blanket. And even despite the exhaustion, despite the chaos undoubtedly storming in his processor, he smiles at you. It's faint, but tender, joyous just to be in your presence.

“Hey,” you greet him softly, returning his smile. “How did the mission go?”

“Greetings, my dearest. Unfortunately, it did not end in success.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you... want to talk about it?”

The smile fades, replaced by bitterness. The Prime returns, the leader is back. As much as he wanted to tell you everything, the wound was too fresh, too raw. He wasn’t ready to revisit those memories—not yet. He would rather think of you, only you. That was his plan for tonight, for the scraps of time you had left together. It was enough for you to just be by his side, to meet his gaze now and then, to smile. He wouldn’t ask for more; he wouldn’t dare.

“I sincerely apologize, but I do not feel comfortable discussing it at this moment. However, I shall divulge the details to you later.”

“All right, I totally understand. I don't want to push you into anything.”

“For that, I am deeply grateful.”

“But! Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you?”

“Your presence alone suffices for me.”

You weren’t entirely convinced. Optimus never asked for more. Never demanded, never took the lead. Sometimes he would request but never initiate. You wonder how you even ended up as a couple. How long he must have suppressed his feelings before you realized your own. But you quickly push those thoughts aside. They’re painful and, most importantly, they belong to the past.

“I don’t know... that feels like it’s not enough.” You know he’s about to protest, to launch into a monologue about how he doesn’t expect more from you, so you cut him off. “Wait. I know what you’re going to say, but this time, I want to actually help you. Have you ever... cuddled?"

His optics widen slightly. He wasn’t expecting that question, nor your assertiveness. But now, he’s profoundly grateful for it.

“I am familiar with the term, though I have never partaken in… cuddling. On Cybertron, other customs of expressing affection were prevalent.”

You’ll have to ask him about that later.

“I see. Would you like to cuddle now?”

Your question catches him off guard. He hesitates. If he says ‘yes,’ he’ll be stepping into completely uncharted territory, stripped of control over himself, entirely at your mercy. If he says ‘no,’ he’ll miss the experience of human affection, of tasting a relationship from your perspective, a human perspective. And it might hurt your feelings, which was the last thing he wanted.

“Yes,” he whispers.

Your wide smile is reward enough for him, though the best is yet to come.

You slide the blanket off one side of your body and pat the empty space beside you. The message is clear, and Optimus knows what to do. Fortunately, he still has enough energy to mass-displace, which he does in a matter of seconds, shrinking to a still-imposing three meters.

“Amazing,” you whisper.

He kneels on both knees to reduce the height difference even further. You’ll still have to climb onto his thighs to make the hug work, but you appreciate the effort. Now, it’s all in your hands.

Even in this position, he’s perfect—straight back, arms resting neatly by his sides. A few indecent ideas cross your mind; you know exactly how to take advantage of his submissiveness towards you. But those plans are for later. This is not the time to be lewd.

“If you feel uncomfortable, let me know right away,” you say, approaching him slowly.

You climb onto his thighs, watching his expression closely for any sign of discomfort, for anything he might not voice but would betray through body language. Luckily, you find nothing—not even when you’re face-to-face with him.

With your fingertips, you gently caress the metal where a human would have a cheek. You’re delicate, exploring uncharted territory. Stroking his cheek as a titan was one thing, but this form was new to you, just as it was to him. So you take your time, allowing him to adjust to the new circumstances, to this form of affection. Your hands move to the back, brushing against his audials until they encircle his entire helm. You shift slightly to the side to complete the embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head against the side of his.

You don’t expect him to return the hug. This time, you expect nothing from him. This is an experiment, a trial. You just want him to stop thinking about everything that happened on the mission and start thinking about the here and now. To focus on you, on the skin-to-metal contact, on the fact that, for now, he doesn’t have to return to the battlefield. That he’s safe. So you’re surprised when you feel heavy hands on your back, enveloping you completely. But you don’t comment; you don’t say a word about it. You let him, because he deserves it.

His world narrows down to you. To your hair, tickling the back of his helm, to the warm skin pressing against his metal. To your softness, your breath, your heartbeat. To your scent, which he knows so well. You surround him from every angle, allowing him to forget the failure he suffered today. You fill his processor, already overloaded with thoughts of you, with even more admiration for your actions—for how you wanted to help him, even though he never asked you to. You are his universe, his galaxy, his sun around which he orbits. His alpha and omega, his beginning and his end.

This position and action are foreign to him, uncharted, incomparable to any other sensation. It wasn’t like holding you on his shoulder; it wasn’t like reminiscing about your smile. This was something new, far more intimate, and not yet fully understood by him. But it was beautiful and captivating. Raw.

“Everything will be all right,” you assure him, your voice resonating through his entire frame. “Everything is all right.” He believes you.

He can’t tell how long the two of you remain locked in each other’s embrace, but eventually, he feels you shifting. The last thing he wants to do now is let you go, still lost in your closeness, but he has no intention of holding you against your will. He releases you from his grasp, and you pull back from his chassis, leaving behind an unpleasant coldness. He wants you back there, pronto.

“Did you like it?” you ask with a smile, your thumb starting to stroke his cheek.

“Immensely,” he replies, looking into your eyes. A smile creeps onto his faceplate. “Might I request another cuddle?”

[steddielations]

Upstaged | Part 2 | Part 1

It all makes sense.

When Eddie comes back from taking photos with the fans, he looks a little sheepish for the first time. Steve has about a million things to ask, mostly he just wants to laugh about the fucking odds, but he remembers the grace Eddie extended to him about the press ordeal.

Instead, he settles back with his lime soda and a simple question, “So, what kind of music are you into?”

A grateful smile breaks out across Eddie’s face, ecstatic to dive into that with Steve. Their lunch extends into dinner. Steve doesn’t have anywhere to be these days and Eddie practically jumps up and down when the meeting he was in the area for gets canceled. They stay there for a couple more hours, just talking. 

Their music taste overlaps at certain points, Eddie talks about how getting his first guitar from the pawn shop pretty much saved him, Steve recounts a little league story that makes Eddie laugh so hard he chokes on his soda.

It’s the most monumentally casual time Steve’s ever had with a new friend in public and he’s not ready for it to end. Even after exchanging numbers and promising to meet up again, they still linger together outside.

“So uh, I remember where I know you from now."

Eddie leans against the side of the building. It’s getting dark, they’re tucked away from any eyes so Steve freely scoots closer to Eddie, waiting for him to explain. He does after a moment, seeming nervous and fiddling with his rings.

“I hate to ask, but my Uncle is huge into baseball, especially you and your general all-around-awesome thing. There weren’t players like you to look up to when he was young, all that. I’ve seen you on his tv so many times, you’re basically part of the family— ah shit, that’s weird, sorry,” he cringes a little, scrunching his nose in a way that makes Steve’s chest clench with affection, “But he’s getting old and like I said earlier, he’s my rock, he raised me and I won’t forgive myself if I don’t at least ask you to come see him sometime.”

The way he rambles is pretty endearing, looking at Steve with a wide-eyed hopeful expression, as if there was even a chance Steve would say no.

He reaches out, gently takes Eddie’s hand to stop his restless fidgeting, “You want me to meet your folks already, hm?”

Eddie lets out an amused scoff, looking down at their hands and back at Steve like he can’t believe it. “You’re not as funny as you think you are, Steve.” 

Steve knits his brows, “Why’s that?”

“C’mon man. Y’know how hard it is to find someone who can handle this lifestyle, let alone all the shit that comes with me,” shaking his head a little, Eddie smiles but there’s something aching in it, “Then the nicest looking guy I’ve ever seen comes outta nowhere and saves my life, agrees to go to lunch, happens too know as well as me that life in the limelight ain’t always pretty and turns out to be one of the best people I’ve ever met.”

His fingers thread through Steve’s, holding tight like he’s not sure it’s real. “Even if I never see you again, I’m gonna write songs about you. I’d take you home and keep you right now if I could, but that’s not happening.”

There’s a part of Steve he’s kept shut down for years that comes pumping through his veins then, hot and alive. He realizes that he’s been trying so hard to keep his life as normal as possible that he’s been missing out on actually living it. Now he has this wonderful, crazy, wonderful man spontaneously in front of him and he’s not letting him slip away. 

Steve moves in, slowly crowding Eddie against the wall. Eddie’s eyes go a little wide with surprise then darken with desire. Steve watches his face shift through so many emotions, his mouth parting with a soft gasp, wanting this just as badly as Steve.

“Wanna bet?” Steve asks before he crashes into Eddie again. 

This time it’s a hot press of lips instead of a full-body collision, but it’s just as breathtaking.

Steve deepens the kiss, thrill prickling all across his skin when Eddie opens up for him right away. Steve licks passed the bright hint of lime on their tongues to get to Eddie. The heady taste of him makes Steve’s world spin, all the desperate noises between them going straight to his head.

“Want you so bad, Eddie, wanna keep you too,” he threads his fingers into all that hair, reveling in the shiver it elicits from Eddie, “God, just wanna have you.”

Eddie chases his lips, “You can, Steve, you can have me— please do.”  

Steve loves the sound of that, going in for a longer, more indulgent kiss before pulling back.

“You can’t take me home tonight,” he professes hotly against Eddie’s lips, “My place is closer, you’re coming with me.”

[heyhoeudoin]

TIMES SENKU TALKED ABOUT YOU

"I will always be by your side."

pairing: senku ishigami x fem!reader

words: 9.2k

genre/s: fluff, mystery, storytelling in the third perspective (special ep, s3, s4), slight angst

warning/s: she/her, swearing, ambiguous/not direct ending

synopsis: there is always someone next to senku, all the time.

masterlist ; loyalty built from love (part 1)

a/n: jokes on you guys, i was already writing a part two even before i got many requests for it. also, i wrote part 1 like months ago and it took months to write as well, so when i re-read it for part 2, part 1 was so ambiguously written good that even i have no idea what the hell i was going for.

also, don't be shy to give any comments, because i am reading those and i love them all <3

anyone could tell that senku misses you

like a lot...

to the point that he mentions you

a lot...

it was rather endearing to the people around him

it's cute that senku still remains the habit of talking about you whenever you're not physically with him

yuzuriha always liked that habit of his

she will never not be bothered by it, she's used to it after all

he would always at least mention you once a day

he just loves talking about you

it's really endearing and an adorable side to the usually unaffectionate friend of hers

"the first balloon that humanity took flight in was made of hemp cloth," shared senku as gen let out an awed noise. "the one massive ordeal to overcome is..."

"right..." yuzuriha raised her hand. "you need a crap ton of cloth, don't you?" she asked with a slightly painful look on her face, already knowing the work she's going to put into.

"oh, look!" senku pointed at yuzuriha with a devilish expression. "i totally didn't realize! we've got the crafts club here!" yuzuriha jabbed a fist at his chest.

senku and kaseki then got onto the floor and bowed, performing a dogeza. "the science team will commit itself to designing the passenger basket," senku explained in a robot manner.

"we'll make any tools you need," kaseki tells her, raising his head.

"can i leave the cloth making to you? to the yuzuriha crafts team?" senku confidently asked, raising his head.

yuzuriha nods as senku stood up and the two shared a high-five. "of course you can!" she exclaimed with a peace sign.

"i could've had y/n help you with this. well actually, i think she would've helped immediately without me saying anything, but..." senku trailed off, but yuzuriha understood what he's trying to say.

she placed a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. "i know, senku. it's fine! i've got it handled."

later on yuzuriha asked senku and kaseki to make a loom to get things going a bit faster and easier. as she waited, senku called, "hey, it's done." she turned around expecting a simpler loom, but it was not. she let out a surprised noise, falling onto the ground. a pleasant surprise, she was given.

"was this not what you were expecting, yuzuriha-chan?" kaseki asks, a bit worried.

"we didn't have much time," says senku, looking a bit worried too. "did you want an electric one? maybe i should've. y/n would have my head seeing i didn't immediately make an electric one for you."

yuzuriha hurriedly dismissed their worry. "no! no! i appreciate it a lot!"

"they're the senku department store's first high-end products. it might be a while before they start selling," says gen, looking at the racks that held an assortment of clothes and the people that looked around the new place.

"y/n would've love this," senku absentmindedly mentions. "she would've easily volunteered for that fashion show too."

gen turned to senku as if he grew a head.

"oh, also, hand them out to anyone who works," senku then tells gen. "we have a living manifestation of greed who'll buy just about anything."

that was first time gen heard senku talk about you as if he's some clingy boyfriend that misses his girlfriend, he thought he was finally going insane in the stone world

he genuinely would have never thought that senku's the type to be like that when it comes to relationships

which was already shocking in of itself

he truly never expected to have "senku" and "relationship/boyfriend/girlfriend" in the same sentence

are you two really just boyfriend and girlfriend though?

it doesn't seem right to call you and senku, girlfriend and boyfriend

it feels like the two of you have something more

ryusui never met you

of course because when the fuck would he ever

but he has been in the same room as you a few times

people from the "rich, noble, important" families would hold these galas for the "high-class", and you attended some of them for connecting purposes

he, on the other hand, attended most of these which made it possible for him to have seen you in person a few time

though, he never dared interact with you

he only stared at you from afar in awe

it was also an added bonus that because of one of these galas, your family ended up connecting with his family through buying yachts

though, other than that, the nanami conglomerate and the l/n family has no other connection than a business one

and so when senku mentioned your name...

he didn't know what to think when senku mentioned you as if you were an old friend

and judging by chrome's reaction, it seems that the scientist has mentioned you a few times already

"we're in the sky, protected by nothing but our own skin and flesh. you don't get this kind of extravagance anywhere else," he says, looking on the horizon they are given from the air balloon. "not this unique sensation."

"yeah," senku agreed. "y/n would love to be here right now, but sucks to be her for not being here." he cackled out a laughter as chrome turned to him and gave him a light jab.

"seriously?" he deadpanned, but then got distracted by a flock of bird, flying pass the balloon. "we're with the birds!" he exclaimed.

actually, did he even refer to you as if you were an old friend?

it almost felt like he referred to you as if you were dead...

and in a manner that only a really close friend has the rights to do

ryusui didn't believe that though

i mean, how could he?

you dead?

it's ridiculous (utterly ridiculous)

he can see the reasons on why senku has survived and thrived

he also knows the reasons on why you, too, are just as capable of surviving and thriving

so where are you really?

"it's as good as bread from a popular modern shop," senku says after taking a bite out of the stollen that francois just baked. "it'll last to the other side of the planet, and it's good as hell. a perfect food that i've been dying to have and we've got it now!"

"greed equals justice," is all what francois says.

"y/n's really missing out," senku absentmindedly called out. "she would've devoured these so fast, well, as much as her stomach can handle." he smiled fondly at the thought

gen turned to him and asked, "does she like bread that much?"

"loves them even more so than the average person," senku says with a tired expression from just thinking about it. "that girl dragged me around the globe just to have a damn bread tour."

francois wasn't sure if they had heard the scientist correctly

did senku just refer to you like you two are old friends?

you?

a member of the most powerful family in the entirety of japan?

the eldest of the said family?

the next in line?

the hidden treasure of japan?

it was strange

they were confused on why senku would have connections to you

and judging from gen's casual follow-up question, your name has been brought up more than once by senku

but it wasn't their job to be curious and to question the lives of others

their job was to serve ryusui-sama

and for the sake of the nanami conglomerate, ishigami senku is an absolute want

minami, being the journalist she is, are one of the only few people that knows you a bit better than most

after all, she was handpicked by the l/n family to be one of the few media representation for your first ever media debut

it was groundbreaking for her career

and it also broke the entirety of japan

you had revealed then that you will not be accepting any courting, and offers of marriage because you had already found the person you'd spend your life with

no one knew who you were talking about

she remembered the massive wave of investigation happening shortly after the publication of that interview done by... everyone, really

no one ever figured it out who this person was

...or is

maybe she's the first amongst reporters to finally figure it out

"at least let me take the first picture for memory's sake!" exclaimed minami with an embarrassed expression.

"perfectly fair," voiced ukyo and gen.

ryusui laughed, raising his hand in the air. "i'm buying the photo, model rights, and all!" he declared.

minami turned to him, angry, baring teeth. "why should the first photo be yours?!"

"what are you talking about?" he asked. "it's a record of the beginning of technological civilization. it should be senku, obviously. am i right?"

senku owlishly stared at ryusui and minami.

"an exhibit at the nanami museum, representing the history of the new world." ryusui walked over to where senku stood with all the other cameras.

senku stuck a pinky into his ear. "what are you talking about?" he asked. "if anything, the first picture should be y/n." a wave of silence rose amongst the revived people. they know fully well that what senku had said was absolutely correct.

but they also know that it won't be possible right now.

the scientist sighs, breaking the silence. "it's too bad she's frozen shut right now," he mocked casually with a teasing grin.

"i think you're the only one who can joke about her like that," gen commented with a slightly awkward chuckle.

in the end, senku had the honors of being the first person photographed in the stone age, posing the famous einstein pose and minami had the honors of photographing the first picture in the stone age

but that wasn't the only thing that she got from this

she's always listening, you know? and there was one thing that stood out from the banter around her

no one in japan would have the courage, the boldness to joke around your name like senku had just did

not to your face nor behind your back

and yet senku, being the man of knowledge he is, is bold enough to do so

why is that?

was gen right?

that senku really is the only person who can joke about you like that?

since the surrender of tsukasa, there were many rumors she had heard about the two of you and it was all the same thing

that you and senku have something going on

she refuses to believe those rumors

she's a journalist—she shouldn't be believing in those rumors!

her motto is to find the truth

and the truth she will find sooner or later (when she gets the guts to ask you)

when they found the oil, obviously they had to test it out

gen was the one conducting the test drive (because he's the only one with drivers license)

then taiju dropped by, getting a whiff of that oily smell

"hey! it's the love potion," commented taiju. "are you going to give it to someone, senku?"

the people there were confused on what taiju had meant. "what are you talking about, taiju-chan?" asked gen.

"you made some for me that day, remember?" taiju says as his mind took him back to the day it all started. "so that i would have the confidence to confess to yuzuriha. you also said it worked out for you and y/n because of it. it was the last moment we had before we all got petrified."

senku ended up cackling afterwards. "i did! i said that! i told you it was a love potion! you still believe that, you meathead?! that was gasoline!"

"what?! it was?!"

"also, no way in hell would i ever use something on y/n unless she forces me in another of her batshit insane experiments," senku deadpanned. "but if you think it smells the same with no prior knowledge—"

now, gen is totally one to assume

and what senku said kind of sounded like an implication...

in both that way and a completely different way

although, if it was that way then, knowing senku, he would have never mentioned it

so it was probably an actual batshit insane thing

why does gen feel like his image of you will be changed while they're here

a small moment of reference when yo was whispering some shit to gen, pinning senku as some sort of mad lad

well, he kind of is but...

"i'm pretty sure he's wack," whispered yo to gen. both sweating.

"nah, y/n's the one who's wack between she and i. i've still got my mind intact, just barely," senku retorted, looking back at the two.

when valentines came, gen had an interesting answer to his question

"ah, valentine's day," mused gen as kohaku repeated it, confused. "yeah, events are important. for the drago—i mean, for the morale."

senku and yuzuriha went out of the laboratory, handing out the chocolates. gen turned to senku with a question in mind. "do you give chocolates to y/n-chan, senku-chan?"

senku shook his head. "nah, y/n doesn't really like them," he answered which shocked gen. "she'd rather have things that she could wear or practical gifts."

see

look at that

that gave a lot to gen

senku practically confirmed that he gives gifts to you!

and also does so on VALENTINES

if that's not confirmation of being a couple, he doesn't know what is

but then again...

like he had thought before, it doesn't feel like the two you are just boyfriend and girlfriends

but what other kind of relationship would still condone in the valentines romance gift giving?

shouldn't there be some kind of answers by now?

then after they took the group photo with the finished ship

senku looked a bit... down? contemplated?

it was strange to see

why would he be feeling down?

it was quite obvious as well

"are you unsatisfied about the pictures, senku?" asked minami, holding her camera.

"nah, i don't care about that," answered senku.

"then what's got you so down, senku-chan?" asked gen.

senku stared off in the direction of where the tsukasa empire was with a somber look. gen immediately understood from that alone. "take lots of pictures when y/n comes back, journalass," senku told her as he walked off towards the ship.

everyone knew that you barely had any pictures

after all, you were called the hidden treasure of japan

you probably told senku how you felt about it, and he remembers

gen thought it was sweet

minami felt herself gushing about it

when ryusui called upon the people who were needed on the expedition, it was gen's turn to come aboard.

and, to be perfectly clear, tsukasa was left behind by choice because he felt obliged to protect the kingdom of science since most of the battle team were coming along to the perseus

"uh, you don't need me, do you?" asked gen, frantically. "i've got the strength of a bean sprout."

"we don't know what kinds of enemies we're going to meet. what good is a mentalist if they aren't there when that happens, dumbass?" explained senku. "i'd have y/n instead of you if she wasn't being frozen away like a piece of salami."

the modern people felt cultural shock at the casual way of senku playing around your name, but at the same time they feel that they should get used to it.

"ah so i'm just a second choice, huh?" mused gen as he trekked up towards the ship.

"of course you are," senku answered without thinking. "it's always y/n first to me."

the crowd who watched the take off of the ship awed at the display of loyalty senku accidentally announced. gen started grinning, knowing full well that he caused senku to slip like that. senku then grimaced at what he said even thought it's true.

maybe senku should dial back a bit...

ryusui also knows now that you're very much alive somewhere in the kingdom of science

he just doesn't know why you're not physically present

also, did his ears deceive him or did senku just practically confess his feelings for you?

but it wasn't that...

judging from the way the people present cooed at his confession and how gen was smirking like he set it up on purpose

was there something else between the two of you?

this time, it was yuzuriha who shared something about you

"these kinds of people are always dying to show you the machines they tuned the hell out of," says nikki, looking sympathetic.

"they won't let you go until their done," kohaku added.

"i'll be alright!" yuzuriha clarified, making kohaku and nikki shocked. "i always sat through senku-kun's five hour rocket lectures and stuff."

"we have a veteran here!" exclaimed nikki, still looking shock with kohaku.

yuzuriha laughs at that. "if you think i'm a veteran, then y/n must be something else! she always did listen to him..." she mused with a fond smile.

senku smiled as well from that comment.

yuzuriha may not be as close to you as she is to senku, but she completely adores you!

...after getting over the fact that you're the y/n l/n

you were like... any other person, just a bit clueless in other areas

actually, you were a lot like senku in a lot of ways

it's a good portion of the reason why the two of you have the relationship that you two have grown to have

this time, gen was the one to first mention you to amaryllis

albeit in a more... implied upbringing

despite not actually knowing if you two are intertwined or not

but he's very confident that you two are

"that kind of attack isn't going to work on senku-chan," he says. "he's already married, you know?"

and then he went scummy

to which kohaku shouted and hit at him for

and then she later scolded herself after forcing a kiss on senku to save her own ass

she kneeled on the ground and slammed her head on the floor in a dogeza position, facing the direction of ishigami village. "i am sorry, y/n. i will be held responsible for this action, and i will allow you to give me whatever punishment is deemed necessary."

senku sighed, sticking a finger in his pinky, looking exasperated. "y/n's reasonable, calm down, she won't be that mad." his eyes looking far away in the same direction as if thinking of something himself for you.

while senku was making conditioner for kohaku, he mentions you

"y/n's actually been nagging me about making hair stuff for a while now," senku commented while making the hair products. "she always had this specific routine for her hair."

amaryllis didn't know who you are. "is she the one who's married to him?" she asked gen.

"yes," he answered. "y/n-chan is a very powerful person. she's probably even stronger than the strongest soldiers here on the island."

"really?!"

senku glanced at the implied threat gen displayed with an unamused look, but let him does so anyways. it's true, after all.

when amaryllis tried to girlie-fy the boys,

"you know, y/n would actually be impressed that you could fake being a girl like that," senku mentions, crossing his arms on his chest after washing off the makeup on his face.

"really?"

"she'd probably even call you—in her words—a tall baddie." senku made a grimace as he said that.

then when the two girls and one boy dressed like a girl left, gen mentioned your name to start a conversation

"if only we have y/n-chan, huh?" gen comments.

senku shook his head. "nah, she wouldn't do that," he says. "although if she was here, she'd probably go all stealth instead."

"are they really..."

"i'm not answering any questions you have about them."

"so you do know!"

gen was inspecting the earpiece, amazed and shocked by how simple it can be done

and then, of course, senku mentions you

"it was y/n who actually taught me how to make that," senku commented. "i don't know why she bothered learning to make one when she could literally buy the best one, but she said she liked how simple and cosmetic it can be if made like this. though, i'm glad she taught it to me now because it certainly useful for this."

"of course this is y/n-chan's design, not yours," says gen, holding it up in front of him.

as senku looked through the pile of gold dust

as the pile of platinum grew

it was the first time he felt vulnerable since you had been frozen shut

he isn't one to be all emotional, but at moments like these... it really showed just how much care byakuya had for him

senku scoffs. "if y/n was here, she'd be bawling her eyes out," he says, his eyes a bit glassy himself.

"you counting seconds all that time, and your papa collecting sand for decades..." gen looked wistful. "you two are alike."

once the team were able to make the revival fluid, the thought of reviving their stoned comrades were first in the list

senku ordered kohaku to cleanly cut the greedy captain when given the chance

afterwards, ryusui's stone parts were delivered to them

"i've always known you're ridiculously rational, but... but still you're practically psycho at this point!" screamed gen after figuring out what's happening.

senku shook his head with a smirk. "nah, y/n's the psycho one between us," he corrected. "if she was given parts like these, she'd be experimenting, mix-and-matching them. i'd be the only one to get her to stop."

"every time you say things about y/n-chan that she's a psycho and all, it ruins the image i have of her and i can't help but not believe you," gen bluntly replied. "except you're the only one that knows who she really is, so i have to believe you."

senku cackled.

when kohaku was fighting against moz, all she could think about was how he's nothing compared to you

"i like strong girls, too, as long as they have a pretty face," he says as he took out the machete out of his weapon. "what kind of men do you like, kohaku-chan? how about me? i'm strong as hell."

the girl let out a sigh, then tied her hair up to her usual ponytail while crouching down. "strength is strength of mind," she states, making him slightly confused. "to be able to continue hammering a wedge for as long as it takes to carry out one's will. that's the kind of person i'm drawn to."

her pose changed to a battle stance. "well~ this is a problem, moz. you seem to be the exact opposite," she tells him. "and compared to him?" she scoffs. "actually, compared to her? you're nothing. literally. she's stronger than both of us combined, actually, stronger than anyone else on this island."

"i don't know who you're referring to, but you're cute, kohaku-chan. just not cute enough though."

did kohaku just imply something

AND

maybe come out of the closet?

maybe

maybe not

who knows

but she really wasn't lying

moz really is nothing compared to the people she admires and respects the most

as the parts of the gun was laid out on the table, the people from the 21st century had recognized it

of course they did, after all,

"this is what made men and women, young and old, all of humanity, all of homo sapiens, the apex predators. it's the invention of the gods and demons, and even then, humans who owns these rank higher than what we can see on the pyramid," senku states as kaseki finished the building of the gun.

"we, humans, may be on top of the food chain, but once given some source of power? we become our own enemies. and we all know who's at the top here in japan." he lets out a teasing smirk as some let out a sigh, knowing who he's talking about.

"tools are neither gods nor demons," ukyo says. "it's up to the person to determine how it's used."

"then let's be damn glad that our rulers didn't use these to become demons," cackled senku as he just had to make a joke.

both gen and yuzuriha let out a loud sigh.

ukyo decided to ignore the misplaced joke, and continue with what he was going to say anyways.

then later on when ryusui asked who would wield the gun...

senku turned his head towards the stoned yu. "if i had continued my gun lessons with y/n, maybe i can, but compared to the only police officer? yeah, he's better off with it." then he hummed, turning to his two childhood friends. "how about you two? any of you comfortable wielding a gun? i know you both got lessons from y/n also."

yuzuriha shook her head. "well, it's best to just leave it with yu... my lessons with y/n were more of for self-defense," she says.

"i also think it's better for yu to handle it. he's the professional," taiju says. "y/n tried to teach me, but i just always end up using my hands during the mock fights."

gen, ukyo, and ryusui turned to the trio in different waves of shock.

"i wonder how those lessons went knowing your non-existent strength, senku-chan," gen mused.

the scientist rolled his eyes.

it was actually pretty shocking to hear that the trio had gun lessons with YOU

like what an honor??

but it also makes sense for none of the trio to pick up on it since they've already had pretty different skill sets; a gun just didn't fit within it

it was also kind of scary to think about it

everyone knows that the l/n family are all skilled and powerful people

each person had a different skill set honed and trained to the absolute perfection, and that the regime it took to get there was of on a entirely different level

to hear that you had taught those three a small part of your regime,

just how hard was it?

it was an honor, but at the same time, no normal person can probably handle the regime of a l/n

when the team saw that the islanders were getting evacuated

it was a sign that ibara planned to petrify the entire island

"w-we're in huge trouble!" exclaimed suika in a panic.

"nah, just the opposite," senku says with a confident smirk. "when the going gets tough, the tough get going. we might be able to take all of it. the enemy, the kingdom, and the medusa!"

he starts cackling. "oh, y/n, you could've been so damn useful here, why'd you just have to go and get punctured," he sighs with a shake of his head.

ukyo looked at senku in nervousness. "why does it seem like you always have to insult her situation?" he rhetorically asks.

yuzuriha chuckles. "you'll get used to it," she says with a sympathetic smile. "it's his way of showing his love to her."

ukyo thinks that he'll never get used to it

he was one of the people that didn't know the dynamic between you and senku since your accident had happened right when the stone war ended

it's not like he doesn't believe that you two are together, it's just that he's the type to have to hear/see it to believe it

he still have that image of you in his head

that you're someone like tsukasa, except way dangerous and way scarier

it also doesn't help that you and your family are probably the only people that can get past his enhanced hearing

it's easy to say that he's afraid of you

which is why every time senku goes and makes fun of your accident, it gives him whiplash

this time yuzuriha was the one to think of you as she stared at the broken stone fragments of the master of the island

"it isn't over yet," she says. "we have to keep thinking, and keep going; that's what i learned from him... her... from them! we still have some adhesive senku-kun made for us in the kingdom of science." her eyes glistening as she darted from piece to piece.

you and senku are one of the most goal-oriented people she knows

senku will not stop until he completes what he needs to do

and you will not stop until you get what you want

it's almost scary

and when senku freed hyoga as their last resort

"we weren't cornered," senku tell ibara with a smooth confident voice despite the sweat dripping from his face. "we had you corner us into this particular room." with that, he dropped the glass of revival fluid.

of course, gen felt like he needed to mention you to get hyoga to fight for their side. "also, don't forget that if anything happens to senku, y/n-chan will have you head," he whispered out, loud enough for hyoga to hear. "i wonder what'll happen to you after seeing her dearly beloved bleeding out."

senku sighed and shook his head at the shit gen is saying, but he can't oppose to it because it's true.

the only reason hyoga was able to inflict a critical hit on you is because you were protecting tsukasa's sister. and so what if you weren't protecting anyone AND anger engulfed you?

it's safe to say that no one wants to feel the true wrath of a member of the l/n family, much less from you

"i'm alone," senku says out loud as he watched the sun set off in the distance. his back heavy from the phone, his body aching from tiredness, and his shoulder throbbing with dried blood. his eyes glistened in nostalgia as his memories of the early stone world passes through his mind. "again. i'm alone again..."

the phone rings, shocking him out of his pondering.

"can you hear me, senku-san?" called ruri from the other side. "how are things over there, senku-san?"

he stared at the phone in front of him. a smirk slipping through his lips. "no," he changes his mind. "i'm not alone this time." he then quietly added,

"i also have someone i need to go home to."

as the topic of ruri and the mainland was brought up while they ate, taiju had lots to say

"is this ruri girl chrome's girlfriend or ex or something?" amaryllis asked francois, excited to hear some juicy details about her new allies/friends.

"no, i'm told that she is senku-sama's former wife," they answered.

taiju looked absolutely shocked, shaking from the news. "what?!" he exclaimed, really loud. "when did you get married, senku?! weren't you going to marry y/n?!?!" he shook the scientist by the collar.

senku had his fingers in his ears the entire time, not phased, but annoyed. he's used to the loudness of taiju after all. "just for three minutes! we got divorced right away," he explained.

that only fueled taiju more, shaking the scientist once again. "what?! when did you get divorced, senku!? was y/n okay with this?!"

"okay! okay!" senku exclaimed as he took the hands off of his collar. "i just said we got divorced right away! also, y/n was fine with it! it was ages ago."

now, francois isn't one to oblige in gossip especially when it's related to you

but when taiju implied that you and senku are betrothed, they can't help but wonder

are you and senku really engaged to each other?

they had seen how normal engaged couples are, but the two of you don't seem to act like that

but then again, you're, y/n l/n and he's, senku ishigami

not one is normal

the small group now stared at the trashed upper control room located on the perseus

chrome was fuming. "those assholes made a damn mess! they didn't even know what they were dealing with! bastards!" he ranted as he stomped onto the floorboards.

"now's not the time to be getting all salty," senku piped up as he stuck a pinky into his ear.

"actually, i've never seen senku truly angry," taiju says, smiling at his comment.

"no, i get angry. i'm not a saint. i'm just too busy to," interrupted the scientist. "and y/n definitely seen me angry a few times."

later on, when they finally de-petrified kohaku and ginro

instead of giving ginro a hug, kohaku ran to senku, giving the scientist a hug

ginro was mad about it, but who cares about him and his pervy ways

kirisame was blushing at the sight of kohaku hugging senku. albeit, him not reciprocating that, but receiving it with a smile and soft eyes anyways.

"oh right. kirisame-chan, you think they're in a legit relationship, don't you?" gen says. "senku's actually in a relationship with someone else. kohaku's actually breaking a lot of rules doing this."

"i don't think that's what that hug is about," says amaryllis. "not between those two."

"it better not be," screamed gen, purposely gaining kohaku's attention.

kohaku broke the hug off with senku. "i almost died!" she exclaimed to gen. "let me be relieved of surviving!"

then she kneeled to the ground and made a dogeza once again at the direction of the ishigami village. "i also assure you, y/n, that that hug was nothing. i would never do you like that. i would choose you over him any day," she stated as senku rolled his eyes while both gen and nikki laughed.

"you got that right, kohaku!" nikki hollered.

later at night, once the team finished de-petrifying the islanders and the rest of their people, a party of celebration was happening at the deck of the perseus

ginro and suika found senku and his team down at the lower half of the control room where the comms are

as senku bluntly asked what ruri needed, amaryllis was shocked

"eh?? isn't this your first time talking to your former wife after all that's happened on the island?" she lets out.

"that's senku for you," is all kohaku says.

"who cares about the former wife, he's already got a current wife to think about much less than a former one," retorted gen, making kohaku hit his head.

"that's my sister you're talking about."

on a cliff, some of the battle team gathered

kohaku and kirisame stood in front of each other

ginro, kinro, nikki, and kokuyo were stationed at the side, as the audience

"now that we know why-man is our enemy, our job as the battle team is no longer to investigate," kohaku announced as the leader of the said team. "it's to train for the inevitable battle!"

ginro lets out a frightened screech. "we just defeated the petrification kingdom! this is even scarier!"

kohaku and kirisame took a stance, then lounged for each other. the two neck and neck in skill. those watching couldn't help but be in awe at the sight of the dance.

"they're evenly matched!" exclaimed nikki.

"they're both incredible," kokuyo lets out.

"you're strong," kirisame says in between strikes. "you were holding back the last time we fought, weren't you?"

kohaku scoffs. "i wasn't going easy on you. i would never be disrespectful. i apologize. i was simply not accustomed to moving around in a dress."

ginro then bursts out a scream that he held in during the entire duration of the spar, freezing the two girls in shock. he then also ran away.

kohaku shook her head at ginro. "i won't be able to teach you more than you already know since you and i fairly the same in combat skill. the only person who can teach all of us more techniques is y/n, and hopefully when senku heals her, she'll continue lessons."

"y/n? is this the person you were apologizing for?" asked kirisame.

"she's better than all of us combined," is all kohaku said as her gaze stared at the direction of the ishigami village with a sparkling look in her eyes.

a small blush slowly flushed on kirisame's cheeks the more she stared at the way kohaku looked.

it was quite an intimate look that kohaku gave

kirisame noticed it was the same one she had gave to senku

after building the windmill, chrome looked around and wondered for senku

it took a while for him to figure out where the mad scientist could have gone, but he finally found senku

opening the door to the mobile lab, chrome immediately asked, "yo, senku, what the hell are you doing all by yourself?"

senku managed to let out a chuckle. "working on an exhilarating craft," he managed to say pass his crusty lips.

"oh, shit!" chrome screamed at the shocking sight of a dehydrated and crusty senku.

senku downed a few bottles of water which made his complexion slowly come back. he lets out an exhale after drinking. "completely forgotten about hydrating. got too used to having y/n take care of that for me," he absentmindedly mentions.

senku and chrome continued to talk about the plans that senku had for later during the night.

chrome could tell that senku missed you

how could he not have noticed?

everyone practically knows also!

senku always somehow mentions you at least once a day

he never thought senku could be so damn clingy...

it takes him back to the times he witnessed the two of you intimate moments

they really need to come and revive you already

he could never get used to that empty space next to senku

later at night, a small festival was being held at the beach

the lights dimmed, gaining the attention of all

"do you hear me, all?" chrome exclaimed from the speakers. "we're gonna show you something that's going to leave the whole of treasure island speechless and wanting more! rainbow bridge, max level!"

a few seconds later, fireworks shot out into the sky.

senku stared at the night sky that bloomed an array of fireworks, imprinting their colorful displays for all to see. his eyes glistened with nostalgia, a memory popping into mind.

"hey, senku, do you think you could show these back in mainland?" asked kohaku who now stood next to him.

senku turned to her, the memory fainting away. "maybe, we'll see," he replies.

"would you change your mind if i mention that you could see these again with y/n standing by your side next time?" she retorted.

he hummed. "i was just thinking about her," he revealed, quietly. "the first time she saw fireworks, she was with me and byakuya. i could already see her whining about not being there for the first fireworks in this stone world." he scoffs, then lets out a sigh. "fine, we'll do it again at mainland."

kohaku smiled a teasing grin.

a little later, after the firework show, senku stood in front of the treasure tree. he heard footsteps behind him that got closer, and closer. "why are you here?" he asked without looking back.

"just an early morning stroll," answered kohaku. "is it not the same for you?"

"thousands of years ago, byakuya and the other astronauts set foot here for the first time in an utterly deserted new world," senku quietly says as his eyes glistened. "though they've long since turned to dirt, aside from a few fragments of rock."

kohaku scoffs as she quickly and easily climbed up the tree. "that's not true!" she exclaimed as she walked over to where the treasure laid. "you, i, and everyone else will someday die and return to dust, but their will is passed down, refined, and carried on into the future."

senku stared at kohaku who now stood at the small entrance way of the treasure. "isn't that what humanity calls 'science'? that's what you and y/n taught me, senku," she says, looking down at him.

he chuckled, feeling a bit lighter. "yeah, that's right. we're going way farther than those goofy astronauts. we're going to the moon," he stated. "and y/n will be stoked to hear it; she always did love the moon."

kohaku jumped down from the top of the tree, now standing on an elevated root. "it's not true that byakuya and his team left nothing behind. in fact, they connected everything for us," she mentioned.

senku didn't reply, but instead added, "typical, i mean, he's always done the connecting."

kohaku didn't understand what senku had meant when he said that

there are many things about senku... about you that she doesn't know about

some day, she'd like to know more about the two of you

the perseus landed

people started talking about the missing cracks

chrome immediately showed the medusa

"does that mean that mean she'll finally wake up?" tsukasa asked, stepping forward.

senku chuckled as he walked down. "yeah, let's get her out of that damn cold sleep already. our hidden treasure of japan, y/n l/n." the scientist may have not said anything else regarding you after that, but they all knew how much he wanted you to stand next to him again.

"we say cold sleep, but really, we just froze her..." commented gen.

"yeah, like an ice cube," cackled senku. "i bet you she wasn't even asleep most of the time, but suffering from the cold. she hates the cold."

gen sighs at yet another tease towards you.

"that's not the real problem though, is it? you can always trust a sailor's gut," ryusui piped up, then his eyes narrowed on the scientist. "when ibara jabbed you... senku, given how pragmatic you are, you would have healed yourself immediately with the dr. stone set. am i right? yet the crack in your forehead is still there. in other words, you didn't use it. you saved it for... y/n. why?"

"oh right, you don't know, ryusui-chan?" gen asked. "y/n-chan and senku-chan are intertwined. of course, he'd rather heal his y/n-chan over himself."

some people silently laughed knowing that it's true. ryusui, however, looked shocked. there were many implications, but never a confirmation. senku didn't say anything regarding his relationship with you, though, instead he had a different reason.

"actually, the medusa is out of battery."

that gained everyone's attention.

"that thing runs on batteries?!" exclaimed taiju, next to senku.

senku chuckled. "dunno," he says. "and we don't exactly have the luxury of smashing it open to have a look-see inside. but it is using some kind of energy. the one thing that could never happen is for it to make energy out of nothing."

he turned his head to a certain girl. "kirisame," he called out. "is the petrification beam's area specified in radii?"

"yes, why?" she answered.

"when i stoned ibara, i specified five meters. but the petrification beam barely made maybe a meter and a half."

kirisame looked taken aback. "that's impossible!" she argued. "it's never deviated in size..." then her eyes dilated as some form of realization dawned onto her. "...it's out of energy?" she lets out in shock.

here they are in the cave where you were put to sleep

senku, chrome, kohaku, taiju, yuzuriha, gen, ginro, kinro, ryusui, nikki, ukyo, and matsukaze

chrome lifted the lid of the makeshift freezer making the cold fog explode that slowly dispersed to the floor, revealing your pale cold body.

senku walked over to stand next to you. he stared at you as his eyes glistened with memories. he absentmindedly raised his hand to your face, leaving a lingering touch. his thumb caressing your cold cheek.

the small intimate moment of affection really caught ryusui off guard

senku's eyes always held conviction

after all, his eyes are the most transparent part of him

yet ryusui never saw it that soft and so full of love before

he honestly thought that gen was messing with him

but this?

seeing it for himself really changed everything

kohaku approached and stood next to senku, holding the medusa. the two turned to each other, their eyes making contact. no words were exchanged. senku gave a nod as kohaku then bent down and placed the medusa in the space of your clasped hands.

taiju walked over and took senku's hand and placed it on top of yours. "senku! hold y/n's hand with all you've got!"

senku looked taken aback. "what?" he lets out.

"i see!" exclaimed kohaku. "if you hold her really close to the device, it might give her just a little more of the light."

"that's seriously not going to make a difference," senku retorted, but a small smile formed on his face. "fine, whatever, and if i get caught in the beam, it'll heal my wounds and cracks too; perfect."

yuzuriha then walked over, standing next to taiju. she placed her hand on his shoulder, giving him a smile. then she removed it and placed it on top of yours. kohaku and chrome, too, placed their hand on top of yours.

"one meter, one second."

the green light engulfed you as your skin slowly turned to stone. the others pulled back their hands while senku immediately took the vial of revival fluid and pours it on you. the stone skin cracked and fragments fell, both stone and ice.

you sat right up as you screamed, "senku!" then you stood up and out of the freezer, tackling him into a hug.

"did they hurt you?" he asked as he pushed away and cupped your face with one hand.

your eyes widen as a big smile formed on your face. the others were confused by what senku had meant. "no, no, i'm okay," you answered as you placed a hand over his. "did they hurt you?"

"who cares."

"i do!"

you and senku then bursts out laughing.

"sorry, what just happened?" gen managed to ask. "what was that?"

taiju and yuzuriha were chuckling as well. "every time they reunite, they always reference steven universe," yuzuriha explained. "i think it was one of the first things that y/n watched with senku."

"that gem cartoon from the states?" gen asks, but then he immediately hums afterwards. "no, wait, that makes sense."

you turned your head to kohaku with a smile and soft eyes. her eyes glistened as she stared at yours. you extended your arms as she ran into them. nuzzling her nose into your chest while you tightened your hold.

a second later, you pulled back and turned back to senku. "so what's our situation now?" you asked.

"she only just woke up," says matsukaze in awe.

"i've heard around that that's how she is," commented nikki. "always working like him."

"although, i think that she's more serious and formal than him," ukyo mentions. ryusui nods his head, agreeing with ukyo.

"we're attacking the moon!" exclaimed senku with a not-so-serious face.

you owlishly blinked at senku, then a huge excited toothy wide grin formed on your face. "ah! no way really?!" you squealed as you clasped your hands together which caught the others off guard. "senku, darling, it's your dream!" you engulfed the man into a tight hug that lifted him off the ground. if anyone caught onto that affectionate name, no one mentioned it.

he pushed you away. "we've got company, y/n, calm down," he tells you with a lazy smirk on his face.

"who cares about the company!" you retorted. "tell me: are we blowing up the moon?" you asked looking like a child that just got permission to do something they've always wanted to do.

"what?! no!" screamed out senku. "this is a mistake. maybe i should make tsukasa the soldier for the moon."

"wait, honey, no! i'm kidding!"

"i take back what i said," ukyo says in absolute awe and shock with ryusui, nikki, and matsukaze also looking hella shocked.

"yeah, my image of her is completely ruined," mentioned gen.

it was then you caught sight of new faces. "oh, hello," you formally greeted with a short bow. "i don't think i've met you guys yet. although, your face is familiar. i apologize, but could you relay your name to me again?" you gestures your entire palm at ryusui.

the four felt a wave of whiplash at the sudden change in tone and demeanor of the person in front of them; a very important person they may add.

"h-hello, i'm nikki," she greeted, really nervously.

"ah, you're the woman on the phone. i'm glad to see another woman on the battle team." you smiled at her as she nodded, freezing up and pink dusting her cheeks.

"i'm ukyo," he says, raising his hand up.

"yes! the one with good hearing. i'm pleased to see you on this side now," you tell him as he gave a loopy smile, his cheeks a bit faint of red.

"ryusui nanami," he bowed, taking your hand into his and giving a light peck on it.

your eyes widen at the familiar gesture and at the name. "ah, one of the sons of the nanami conglomerate," you acknowledged, then you realized something.

"wait!" you turned around to senku. "you guys built a boat?! just how many things did i miss?"

this time, gen spoke up, "i'll tell you all about it."

"hello, gen," you greeted with a slight smirk. "you're not walking on eggshells around me anymore," you stated as you looked him, up and down. "what changed?"

gen shook his head as he chuckled. "senku ruined your image for me," he says, making you coo.

"aw, senku, you still have that habit?"

"shut up."

this is when ginro decided to speak up. "senku, i just figured it out!" he exclaimed, his face being way too overly arrogant. "you hurried back to y/n because you were worried she was going to spoil in the freezer, right? i know you hate all that mushy stuff, though!" his elbow jabbing into senku's neck.

"he's absolutely tackless!" says kohaku.

"well, if he just wanted someone super strong, he could've taken my top student—i mean, guard, matsukaze-kun." ginro really got carried away.

matsukaze stared at you

he was wondering why you were considered the strongest

he honestly thought it was that tsukasa man

that man was trained to the absolute limit, he could tell with one look

but you?

you didn't look like you were trained like tsukasa was

he stepped towards you and gave a bow, staying in that position. "my name is matsukaze," he greeted. "y/n-dono, if it would be all right, i would like to challenge you once you are well."

you looked at the new face in glee. "oh? then how about now? let's go outside," you tell him. "oohh~ this is fun! i never had anyone challenge me before."

"gee, i wonder why," mused gen, already knowing the outcome of this fight.

matsukaze now understands why you're the strongest here and not tsukasa

you had defeated him with a single finger

a single finger that you used on his forehead to stop his lunge and forcefully push him to the ground

your leaking bloodlust and monotone stare caused him to freeze on the ground, too speechless and afraid to move

you blinked your eyes and your demeanor changed, reverting to what it once was before the fight. "oh my, i apologize, matsukaze," you tell him as you extended a hand to him. "you challenged me," is all you say.

he politely took your hand as you helped him up. he bowed down to you and say, "i am defeated."

"you're a very capable man, and i'm glad to have new members for the battle team," you tell him.

ginro is now humbled

"since the device is out of battery, senku's crack will never go away now," says suika as she walked over to in front of him

"no!" you exclaimed with a huff as if you were child who were having a tantrum.

people slowly turned to you. senku sighs, feeling like he knows what you're going to say.

"i like the stone cracks!" you announced as you walked over to senku. you then traced the lines on his forehead. "it gives him character and he looks... really... good with them."

"y/n..." senku called with a warning tone. "did that freezer like give you a damn concussion or something?"

you laughed as you just give him a hug. you arms around his shoulders, your head burying into his neck. he sighed and hugged you back with one arm that rubbed your back in a comforting way.

this is when gen was like "why should senku-chan get all the fun?" leading to everyone else getting back their petrification cracks

you included of course, after you had stopped clinging onto senku like a koala

although some people didn't forget the small public display of affection you and senku shared, in fact, it really caught them off guard

ukyo, ryusui, nikki, and tsukasa aren't used to it

you were acting like a clingy girlfriend that hadn't seen her boyfriend in months

and senku is acting like a boyfriend who's nonchalant about his girlfriend's clinginess, but everyone knows just how much he missed you!

two people with the most specific personality and a reputation to uphold, and yet here they are soft for each other

it's strange

but at the same time, it felt right

ukyo was down at the control room, double checking everything in case the islanders from treasure island had touched anything else

he thought no one else was on board besides some who would drop of supplies then leave afterwards

but then he heard you

...and senku

he looked around and saw that no one was on the surface, so the two of you were probably below nearby, in one of the rooms

"what was with you awhile ago?" senku asked.

"what do you mean?" you asked back.

"you..." ukyo could hear the hesitation in senku's voice. "did you not think that we... that i—!" a tremble in the scientist's voice. "were you... unsure of ever waking up?" he finally managed to ask. his voice whispering by the end.

a pause. all ukyo could hear was the breathing and the beating of two people. he could hear the anxiousness from each one.

"senku..." you called, softly in a whisper as well. "you need to understand that..." your voice trembling. "that i wasn't expecting you to find the medusa that quick. those months in the cold dark, i was preparing myself not to see you again for who knows how long."

you inhaled a shaky breath. your heart beating rapidly. "i know that those few months were nothing compared to the time we were apart in stone, but at least we both knew that the other was alive—!" your voiced cracked.

"just when you and i were together again, the stone world takes it away once more. how cruel is that?" you let out a shaky fake laugh.

"i could have died in my sleep, senku," you croaked out to him, sniffling and trembling. your breathing became rigid as senku's became heavy. you were probably crying at this point.

both of your hearts were beating so fast as well.

"no," senku says with full on denial. "no, y/n, you would have not died. y/n, you would have not fucking died!" he screamed out.

"what do you know?!" you screamed back at him. "i was the one in that damn freezer. i know what my body felt like throughout those damn fucking months. you know how my—" you took a deep breath. "my body felt like it was on it's way to death!"

"hah~ shit," you exhaled a shaky breath. "maybe i have already died, and i'm just wishing that you were next to me." a thud to the floor then rapid footsteps, ukyo heard.

"y/n, y/n, shit— don't do this— fuck! i'm here, y/n, i'm real. dammit y/n—! i'm right here!" senku screamed out in reassurance.

then ukyo heard a desperate kiss shared between the two.

ukyo left the perseus in a daze at what he heard

he could hear the emotions the two of you felt during the entirety of that

it was strong

to the point that he could feel it as well

"ukyo-chan?" called gen. "did something happen on the perseus? why are you crying?"

ukyo raised his hand and wiped his cheeks. it's true, he's crying. "um..." he hesitated. "senku and... y/n-san are..."

gen widen his eyes then it softened. "let's leave those two be for now," he says. "it must've been hard for them both. i've never seen them apart from each other for that long."

ukyo fully believes it now

that you two are together

even before the kiss had happen

masterlist ; loyalty built from love (part 1) a/n: i'm actually not as proud of this one compared to part 1, but that last bit? yeah, i like it part 3 will happen when the next season comes

[lovecla]

TAKE IT EASY (OTHERWISE I’M LEAVING) ; connor bedard.

© property of lovecla, nhl masterlist, single chapter:

ᡣ𐭩 — pair: connor bedard x fmc (olivia)

ᡣ𐭩 — synopsis: in which connor bedard’s girlfiend, olivia, is tired of seeing her boyfriend destroy himself every single day.

ᡣ𐭩 — word count: 3.1k

ᡣ𐭩 — chapter warnings: inspired by the song “you” by chase atlantic, angst, hurt with a dash of comfort.

ᡣ𐭩 — from me to you: the second chase atlantic released this album i knew i had to write something inspired by it. i missed writing for bedsy and since he’s our golden, hardworking boy, i thought this was very fitting. hope u like it 🤍

ᯓᡣ𐭩

but you've been diggin' up the truth

haven't slept in like four nights now

blame it on substance abuse

out in the deep end, i'm swimmin', i'm swimmin' again

YOU WOKE up startled with the loud bang coming from somewhere inside your apartment, your whole body jumping and your heart starting to race inside your chest.

Now, almost fully awake, you stare at the clock sitting on your bedside table, reading the time. 4:13 a.m., and when you pat the other side of the bed, where your boyfriend of two years should be laying, you frown as you find it empty and lukewarm to the touch.

“Connor?” You whisper, scared to wake him up unnecessarily, even if you knew he wasn’t lying with you in bed. Again.

You get up, the fabric of his old Blackhawks sweater heating up your skin, as you put on your slippers and leave the bedroom, noticing traces of Connor’s absence here and there— his slippers aren’t by his side of the bed, his duffel bag isn’t on the hallway like it usually is, his water bottle isn’t on the couch like he had left it last night, when you both went no sleep at one in the morning.

So that’s why you don’t understand what he’s doing by the front door, ready to leave, even if he had only slept for three hours.

“Connor?” You call again, watching as his blue eyes look at you, surprise and guilt decorating his expression like a famous painting hanging on the Louvre’s wall. “What are you doing?”

Your voice is still soft, and despite the scare, your eyes can barely stay open. You’re tired, tonight was the first night you had allowed yourself to sleep freely since now you were done with your exams. And you were happy because you managed to convince Connor to come home earlier, at eleven instead of midnight, just so you could spend some time together, like you used to do when you started dating.

“Liv, hey,” he whispers, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

That’s when you realize what he’s doing. The bag, the stick on his hand, the outfit. He’s—

“Are you serious right now?” You take a deep breath, trying to maintain your composure. “You’re going to the rink? At four in the morning?”

“Baby, you know I need to,” he tries to sound convincing and if it wasn’t for the fact that this is probably the hundredth time he’s done this, you would’ve actually believed him. “We have a game coming up and—”

“Yes, I am well aware of that, Connor. But you went to sleep at one. Two nights ago, you also went to sleep at one and woke up at five. And the night before, and the night before that too.”

You don’t try to hide your feelings anymore. You want him to know you’re upset, and you want him to know that this, whatever the hell he’s doing, isn’t okay.

“I know, baby, but you know I have to keep practicing so I can help the guys.” He’s now facing you, his body visibly tense.

“That doesn’t even make sense, Connor, what the hell. There are other twenty fucking people in your team, you’re not the only player there. It’s not your responsibility only!” You cover your face with your hands, truly upset.

“Liv,” he calls your name, and it hurts to even hear it, because his voice is so full of guilt and shame. It makes you feel sick. “You’re not being reasonable right now. This is the NHL. You know how hard I’ve worked for this. There are people counting on me.”

“And I’m not one of them?” You whisper, making eye contact again, only to realize you’re not strong enough to have this conversation at four in the morning.

“Liv—”

“It’s fine, Connor. Go to practice.” You sigh, making your way back to the bedroom, praying that he doesn’t notice the tears running down your cheeks.

ᯓᡣ𐭩

you said, "take it easy, otherwise i'm leaving

yeah, i don't wanna stay and watch you die",

ᯓᡣ𐭩

CONNOR HAD an injury.

His jaw had been fractured, and he had to go to surgery to fix it. You were in the arena watching the game with Connor’s sister when it happened, and you had never been so scared.

You know Hockey is about hitting people as much as it is about playing and winning, but you won’t lie and say your heart doesn’t hurt inside your chest whenever you see Connor getting hurt on the ice.

And you aren’t dumb. You know that some players will purposefully hurt him just because he’s good. And even if people aren’t one hundred percent sure that that is what happened that night, you still remember the terrible feeling of losing when you were in the ambulance with Connor to the hospital, trying your hardest not to cry in front of anyone because you know what they would say.

She’s not tough enough to date a NHL player.

But you believed yourself to be tough. The only problem with all of this is that you knew Bedard would never take great care of himself, meaning that you’d have to be with him twenty-four-seven, which wouldn’t be a problem, if only he accepted your help.

Now, four weeks after the surgery, you’re inside the United Center, the Blackhawks arena in Chicago, stomping your feet as you walk towards the rink, the sound of your steps being muffled by Connor’s constant skating.

“Connor.”

You have to call him a few times so that he can finally get out of his head and look at you; once again, those blameworthy eyes looking down at you, as he skates closer to the benches where you were standing.

“Liv.”

“What do you think you’re doing, Connor?” You snap. “You’re supposed to be resting. You’re definitely not supposed to be on the ice.”

“I know, but my jaw is just fine. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.” He removes his helmet, running his gloved hand through his hair.

“It didn’t seem like it was fine last night when you had to swallow a bunch of pain pills because it was hurting. Connor, don’t you see what you’re doing to yourself?” You can feel your face heating up, and you’re trying so hard to keep your shit together but— “You have to allow your body to rest. If you keep up with this, you won’t get better—”

“That’s not an option, Liv, and you know it,” he hissed back, now looking more distressed than guilty. “This is my life. And I did allow myself to rest, I spent four weeks doing absolutely nothing, just like the doctor asked me to.”

“He said six to eight weeks, Connor,” you sigh, tired, not actually believing you’re having this conversation with him. “Please. Just think about how I feel when I know you’re not well enough to be here yet you still are.”

He pressed his lips together, placing his stick on the floor next to him and moving his helmet around his hands.

“Liv, you know I love you but this— Hockey is what I am. It’s what I do. You have to understand—”

“And I have done nothing but understand you!” You shout, finally losing your cool and snapping at him, your loud voice echoing through the empty arena’s walls. Connor takes a step back, but now you’ve already started and you won’t can’t stop. “Ever since we met, I have been nothing but understanding. I stood by your side at all times, even when what you were doing wasn’t healthy for you!”

“Olivia—”

“I went to sleep alone and cried more nights than you could ever imagine,” your voice cracks, and your stubborn tears are already rolling down your face. “I still supported you no matter what. I cooked your meals, I packed your bags, I went to those ridiculous gala dinners and I did it all with pleasure because I love you and you’re supposed to do these types of things for the people you love!”

“Baby—”

“So you don’t get to stand in front of me and ask me to understand how badly you treat yourself and how you don’t care about anything else besides Hockey when I gave up everything to be with you!” You try to wipe your face, stepping back when Connor tries to reach you. He frowns when you flinch. “I gave up my freedom because I wanted to be with you and God knows I’d do it all over again because I fucking love you.”

“Baby, I know all of this and I’m grateful, I really am but—”

You let out a wet chuckle, shaking your head. “There’s always a but with you.”

“Hockey is important to me, baby.”

“And I am not.”

The silence after your words is cruel, and it tears you apart, scratching your skin and making your insides hurt. His blue eyes, your favorite color to ever exist, are also filled with tears and you hate to see it. You hate to feel bad about saying these things.

The thing about loving someone is that the thread between giving up yourself for them and giving yourself to them is really thin.

You love Connor Bedard. Have loved him for years now. He makes you happy, he listens to you, he’s your best friend.

“You know that’s not true, Liv,” he gets closer, the sound of his skates hitting the ice making you want to puke. “You know you’re more important to me than any of this. You know I love you.”

“No, Connor, I don’t,” you whisper, smiling even when all you feel is pain. “I can’t do this. I won’t watch you d-destroy yourself and not do anything.”

He removes his gloves quickly and grabs your wrist, cold fingers holding your arm down. “Olivia, wait.”

“No,” You shake your head. “I need time. Sorry.”

You don’t look at his face as you leave the arena, and you certainly don’t listen to his voice shouting your name, over and over again.

ᯓᡣ𐭩

i don't know what to do

i’m stuck in a loop, stuck in a loop

ᯓᡣ𐭩

HE WATCHES you talking to the children from afar.

You’re sitting on the floor, and it’s so obvious you’re better different from everyone else at the party. The children surround you like you’re their favorite princess or superhero, all of them wanting a little bit of your attention.

Connor feels like he should be offended, since those kids were there to see his team in the first place. It was some kind of reunion Foligno arranged with the media team, inviting some of his son’s friends and some other children with less opportunities.

But he isn’t. First of all, he’s thankful because if it weren’t for your charm, he would be the one having to deal with the children, something he wasn’t very fond of. Sure, he likes kids and he’s happy they like him, but if he could avoid social interactions, he would.

Besides that, watching you happy is something that he had missed, and he feels like shit for it. He knows he hasn’t been a good boyfriend, and he knows he should do better. Ever since that one night at the rink, you haven’t been the same.

But if he thinks about it too much, he realizes that you haven’t been yourself for a long time now.

And it hurts.

It hurts because he doesn’t know what to do. He loves you, the very first girl he fell in love with, but he also loves Hockey. As a young player in the NHL, he feels like he constantly needs to prove himself to others, and since people give him so much attention, he needs to keep on being a good player.

He doesn’t know how to balance things, how not to spend hours and hours without end on the ice, muting all of his doubts and worries while he keeps throwing the puck in the net.

You smile at a little boy who’s now handing you a flower, and Connor smiles as he watches you ask the little boy to put it on your hair, laughing when the other kids stop their babbling to clap at your newest look.

You make eye contact with him, and he feels himself getting devastated when he notices that the shine in your eyes lessened a little when you looked at him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩

(why do you hate me?)

i could never hate you, despite the words that you've been sayin'

i’ve been having breakthroughs

and hoping you were proud, just maybe

anxiety drives me insane, and my newest addiction is pain

i know i said it was a ‘phase’

five years later, still stuck in my brain

ᯓᡣ𐭩

CLOSING THE front door with a sigh, you let your first sob out. The tears won’t stop, and you don’t bother to wipe them, it would be pointless.

All you want to do is slide down to the floor and stay there, letting the hardwood hurt your back and get you dirty, but you can’t. Your car decided to break in the middle of the road on your way back from college, and you had to walk until you found the nearest telephone to call your insurance company, which would’ve been fine if it weren’t for the terrible storm going on, the water drops penetrating your thin shirt like you weren’t even wearing anything in the first place.

It’s just one of those days where everything that could possibly go wrong goes wrong, but you’re already so fed up with life lately that this all seems too much.

“Liv? What happened, baby?”

You lift your head up faster than you should've, because now you can see tiny, black dots floating around in your vision. You weren’t expecting to see Connor at your house, much less wearing the apron you gave him when he prepared his first dish by himself two years ago— a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Connor,” you whisper, not looking him in the eye. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I texted you,” he says, removing the apron that read “cook it yourself, cunt”. “What happened, baby? Are you hurt?”

You don’t say anything, mostly because you’re certain that if you let one little word slip past your lips you’ll start crying uncontrollably once again, so you just shake your head and leave your things on the floor beside you, walking past him so you could get to your room.

He’s quick to follow, though, watching as you remove your wet clothes and get in the shower, both of you silent and lost in your own thoughts.

Not talking to Connor about your feelings feels weird, but you can’t help but feel like you’re holding him back. It’s sickening, because all you want is to stay with him and be happy, but sometimes loving is also letting go.

You get out of the shower, feeling the tears coming back when you spot the change of clothes Connor left for you on top of the toilet lid— his shirt, his pants, your favorite panties.

He knows you too well. He knows who you are as a person and he knows who you want to become. He knows your fears and your ambitions, he knows your dreams and hopes. He knows what you stand for and what you absolutely despise.

He knows you.

You change, and leave the bathroom quickly, wanting nothing more than to lay down and sleep for days.

“Some lady from your insurance company just called, saying your car will be ready next week,” Connor says, and only then you noticed he’d been standing next to your wardrobe the entire time, crossed arms in front of his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me your car was broken?”

You shrug. “I knew you were at practice. Didn’t want to bother you.”

“So you walked home? In the rain?” You can tell by his tone that he’s upset, but there’s nothing much you can do.

“I mean, what did you want me to do?” You scoff. “My phone died and I had no cash on me. And honestly, we both know that you would never leave the ice for something like this.”

“Liv, you know that’s not true,” he whispers, getting closer to you. “You know that I’d leave at any moment if I even knew you needed me.”

“Whatever,” you mumble before reaching for your phone in your bag, the device thankfully still dry, and put it to charge, removing the hundreds of pillows you have on top of your bed and throwing them on the carpet floor, already visualizing the amazing sleep you’d have.

“What are you doing?” You feel his hands on your back, his body closer to yours than it’s been in a while. “You haven’t had dinner yet. I cooked…”

His sad tone makes you break again, and you hate yourself for it. But you still love him so much, and it hurts to see what you’ve become.

“Liv, please, tell me what’s wrong,” he pleads, turning you around and wiping your tears with his thumbs. “I’ll fix it, I promise. Just tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

“Can you fix us?” You whisper, resting your head against his chest, inhaling his comforting scent. He smells like home and the winter. “Can you fix what we’ve become?”

He’s quiet for a while, long fingers caressing your hair, like he used to do back when you had started dating.

“I’m trying, I swear I am,” he whispers back, and you can finally hear genuineness in his voice. “You’re everything to me, baby, and I won’t lose you.”

“I’m not asking you to give up on Hockey,” you explain, watching as your tears stain his shirt. “I’m just asking you to take care of yourself. Connor, I need you to take care of yourself.”

“I know, baby, and I’m sorry,” he kisses your cheek, the first time his lips touch you in more than two weeks. “I’m so sorry.”

You listen to his heartbeat and sigh, choosing not to say anything. You know the only way you can find out if he’s being genuine or not is with time, because only it will tell if you’re fixable or not.

But as you let yourself sleep close to his body that night, losing yourself between the sheets and his arms, you can finally breathe again.

Because he said he’ll try, and Connor Bedard always tries his hardest with everything.

[lowkeyrobin]

can i request an uliana’s crew x shy reader one shot? <3

I can try! ; had no ideas for this so I kinda split this up like a preference but idrc man ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; i tried making this a continuous story too so idrk man

FEARFUL FIVE ; no need to be shy

summary ; youre shy. and uliana and her crew slowly recruit you

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; p/n = parents name

word count ; 845

masterlist

You sit in class, silent as usual, working on bookwork by your lonesome.

You'd moved to Merlin's Academy months ago, but had been to shy to make any friends. You didn't really need them anyways, you were just fine blanketed in your silence and loneliness.

Beside you sits Maleficent, halfway attendant to the lesson as she writes the notes down in her book. She holds a black pen in her right hand, her left hand holding her head up.

As you fall behind, thank the teacher for flipping through the slides too quickly, you shyly look over at her, too nervous to get her attention. She looks over at you, having sense your eyes burning into her skull.

"Uhm," you whisper. "Did you get six and seven?" you nervously ask, unable to hold eye contact.

She lightly smiles in response and turns her book a bit so you can see the answers on the page. You shoot her a little smile before quickly writing them down, whispering a thank you as well.

"No need to be shy, hun."

You didn't have a public opinion about the VK's. You really couldn't care less, you just wanted to stay out of their way. But that also went for the other kids too, they could be mean.

But, your natural fear of people was at it again. You didn't know where to sit since your little table had been stolen in the cafeteria today. But, Morgie Le Fay, a VK, approaches you, a little excited to ask you the question that follows.

"Hey, would you wanna sit with us?"

He points back at his group, all half watching you two from their table.

"Uhm..." you try to inspect his expression, trying to decode if he was being fake or not. "Uh, sure"

He smiles, grabs your hand, and quickly leads you to the table. You sit down next to him, shyly picking at your food, listening to their conversation.

Morgie quietly speaks to you, seeing your abnormal behavior. "No need to be shy, we're nice, I promise" He smiles. "What's your name?"

"Y/n" You answer, sounding a little disinterested.

"Wait," Hades quickly looks up at you, "Y/n, like P/n, like Y/n L/n?"

You nod, sticking a celery stick in your mouth.

Hook chuckles. "Cool"

Morgie looks back at you with a soft smile.

"Told you we're nice"

A few days had passed since you sat at the VK's table. You decided to sit with them from now on since they were actually nice to you, and you never ended up getting your table back anyway.

Physical education wasn't your strong suit. Why you needed to know how to use a sword anyways was beyond you.

Though, James Hook was in your class, which was a little nice. You'd been paired with him today, though you were too shy to actually talk to him.

He slings an arm around your shoulders, which quickly tense up under his touch. He leans forward, looking at you, seeing your gaze stuck forward.

"Are you alright, new kid?"

You nod.

"Not know how to use a sword?" He asks, a little amused.

You shake your head.

"I can teach you" He shrugs, "Not that hard"

He notices your odd silence.

"Y'know, you don't have to be shy. I won't cut your hand off, love"

Hades works beside you in potions class, his eyes looking like he was barely attentive at 8am. You'd quickly gotten confused and mixed up with the directions, having stopped yourself to stare at the book, trying to figure out what you were even doing. Curse these textbooks riddled in poems and old English.

Hades notices your still silence, furrowing his brows as he looks at you. He tilts his head, realizing you need help.

"Do you need help?" he asks.

You look at him, then back at the book, and nod, handing it to him. He holds the book in his hand, his finger following the words he read in his head.

"You're very quiet" he comments.

You shrug.

"Okay, so, add the eye of newt, then stir, then add the witch's spit."

"Okay, thank you," you thank him quietly, setting the book back down on your desk.

He nods. "Don't gotta be shy, you can ask for help," he shrugs. "You're cool."

"Thanks..."

Over the course of the past few months, Uliana and her friends had kind of dragged you into their group. They seemed to be the only people who spoke to you first, pulling you into them. So, you began to trust them more and talk to them a bit more, too.

The only one you hadn't had a personal run-in with was Uliana herself.

But now was that time.

She'd brought you to the Black Lagoon, tentacles loosely wrapped around your waist and shoulders as you lead you further through the woods. Your steps are small and cautious, reeking nervousness.

She stops, looking at you. "There's no need to be shy, darling. C'mon, I want to show you something amazing"

[strwbrryeyes]

𖦹°｡⋆ Just an accessory (tsukishima kei x reader)

⟡ request: hiiiii ! i really like all the stuff u write for tsukki and various other haikyuu boys and was wondering how they'd react to u being upset with them ? like maybe the night before they invite u to celebrate a win with their team but barely paid any attention to u all night so u decide to go home early or just end up going separate ways at the end of the celebration ?

⟡ cw: angst, slight comfort at end but mostly angst, lmk if i missed anything

⟡ a/n: this is going to be multiple parts because i don't like writing small drabbles in one thing but i have two other characters in mind for this

Tsukishima would be pissy at first and say you’re overreacting but would feel bad about it eventually

“Okay, what’s your problem?” Tsukishima asks as he barges into the bathroom where you were doing your morning routine.

“What do you mean?” you ask back as you stare at him with a blank expression through the mirror.

“I mean why did you get out of bed without saying anything or even looking at me? Wait no scratch that what was up with you leaving early last night? I left to go get us drinks but by the time I was back you were nowhere to be found and I had to hear from Kyotani that you said you were going home early and that you looked like you were upset!” your boyfriend shouts as you as you finish your routine and after a few seconds of silence you turn to look at him.

“Are you even going to ask why I was upset or looked upset?” you huff out before pushing him out of the doorway “Because right now it just seems like you’re mad I wasn’t there to be your accessory.”

“What the hell are you even talking about- my accessory?”

“Yes, Kei! An accessory!” you shout back at him as you make your way to the kitchen.

“What does that even mean, [name]?” his tone sounds more annoyed with every word.

Setting down a glass cup, you look up at your boyfriend, tears starting to well in your eyes “It means you barely talked to me or included me in any conversation last night,” you sniff out, holding back tears “I felt like I was just there to fill space next to you and not actually there to be with you.”

Tsukishima's eyes widen slightly, caught off guard by the sudden sadness. “What are you talking about? I was celebrating with the team. You know how important the win was.”

“Celebrating with the team while also ignoring me the whole time,” you reply, voice trembling. “I felt like I wasn’t even there, Kei. You spent the entire time talking to only them, and I was just… there.”

He rubs the back of his neck, clearly struggling to understand. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just... I didn’t realize.”

“That’s the problem,” you say, voice softening. “You didn’t realize. You never realize. And it hurts.”

Tsukishima sighs, his frustration turning into anger. “You’re overreacting. It was just one night.”

“Just one night?” you repeat, feeling more hurt. “It’s not just about last night, Kei. It’s about how I feel all the time when we are with other people. It’s like I’m not there and it really hurts.”

His expression is a mix of confusion and irritation. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I shouldn’t have to, Kei,” you sigh, wiping away a tear. “I want to be with someone who sees me, who notices when I’m not okay. I want to feel like I matter.”

He rolls his eyes, clearly still annoyed but this time, with himself. “You do matter. I’m sorry, I didn’t think about how you felt. Can we talk about this? Really talk?”

You take a deep breath, looking into his eyes. “Yeah, we can talk. But things need to change, Kei. I can’t keep feeling like this.”

“I understand,” he says, his voice finally coming to a soft tone. “I’ll do better. I promise. Just... don’t leave without telling me what’s wrong next time, okay?”

You nod, feeling a small sense of hope. “Okay. But you have to promise to really try.”

“I promise,” he says softly, pulling you into a hug. “I’m sorry for making you feel like a prop. You’re so much more than that to me.”

You hug him back, hoping that the next time, things have changed.

[tthoroughfare]

kerosene (part 2) // ellie williams

*･゜ﾟ･* summary: the one where she breaks up with cat.

*･゜ﾟ･* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader

*･゜ﾟ･* content: sfw

*･゜ﾟ･* length: 0.8k

this is part two of this series! find part one here

I AM ENJOYING WRITING THIS SO MUCH i literally don't want them to get together because i just love yearning so much sighhh. i'm already up to the part where things finally happen and i know i'm gonna end up posting those, then going back and writing little extra parts to slot in where they're still friends. anywayyy hope you enjoy <3

something about the conversation makes ellie deliberate for weeks. it was the way you’d spoken about your relationship just not feeling ‘right’, the way she couldn’t really verbalize anything she felt like she should say about cat. she doesn’t know if she’s just overthinking everything. cat’s great. sure, she can’t see herself spending the rest of her life with her, but she makes her happy. they have fun. they have things in common. she feels like she starts to make a mental list of all the reasons they’re together, analyzing the relationship, analyzing her own feelings. she can’t shake the notion that now they’re settled in, the excitement of newness gone, she, too, feels like something isn’t ‘right’.

she hopes it just goes away on its own. but when just over a month passes and nothing has changed, she knows she has to just do it. 

it starts off as a regular day; she meets cat at a spot they frequent, stomach churning at the anticipation. she wants to just rip the band-aid off, but she can’t. the words won’t come out. she flounders around for a while, talking about nothing, knowing full well cat can tell something’s up. finally, when she straight up asks her why she’s being weird, she just comes out and says it. she wants to break up.

of course, she feels awful. cat’s confused, and crying, and asking all kind of questions ellie can’t really express any answers to. she’s upset about it, too. but she just knows in her heart it’s for the better.

it’s cemented when she’s walking back home, realizing she feels a little lighter.

she sees you properly again about a week later, when there’s an event in jackson. she really wasn’t planning on going, not wanting to risk seeing cat (not wanting to have to interact with anyone, pretty much), but dina had convinced her, saying she ‘can’t lock herself away forever.’

she walks in late, party already in full swing, and immediately spots you in the corner chatting to jesse. you haven’t actually spoken in a few weeks, just a greeting when you saw each other out and about, but you seem happier than you were before. she kicks herself mentally when she finds herself hoping it’s not because you’ve found someone new.

she awkwardly hovers around, getting herself a drink and sipping it, people watching. these things were never her idea of a great time.

after about ten minutes, dina appears at her side, visibly tipsy. “what the hell are you doing?” she asks playfully, gesturing at the room full of people. “you’re a single woman now, c’mon. get out there.”

ellie pulls a face, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. “yeah, that's definitely my style.”

dina lets out a short, exasperated sigh, taking ellie by the wrist and tugging her across the room, towards you and jesse. “at least socialize. you’re all… weird. more than usual.”

“oh, shut up,” she retorts lowly, but allows herself to be hauled over to the two of you. her stomach flutters slightly when she gets a proper look at you; you’re a little more done-up than normal, eyes sparkling in the warm light as you greet her.

she doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or something else, but that night is the first time things start to feel explicitly different. on one hand, it’s similar to how it was before — the odd pleasantness dissipated in the air. it feels more like a real friendship again, rather than two people dancing around each other. but on the other, something just feels… new.

she actually ends up having a really good time. she spends the majority of the night with you, drinking more than you both probably should, conversation flowing easily. and when it’s over, she insists on walking you home, despite you saying dina’s staying the night and you weren’t going to be alone anyway.

she just shrugs and smiles.

on the short walk back, dina’s chatting your ear off, thoroughly drunk, but you can’t really focus on anything she’s saying. not just because of the fuzzy feeling in your head, but because of the way you’re so, so aware of ellie’s presence. you’re walking in between them, noticing the way she seems to gravitate towards you, swaying away slightly, then back in. you cross your arms, not wanting to accidentally brush against her, not really understanding why.

she lingers at the door when you get home, dina heading straight in and kicking her shoes off, flopping down on your couch.

“well… thanks. you’re free to go,” you joke after a small pause.

ellie shoots a lopsided smile, leaning against the doorframe. “welcome.” she pauses, like she doesn’t want to go, like she wants to say something. but she doesn’t. she just taps the doorframe and stands up straight. “see you later.”

dina yells out a ‘bye, ellie’, and you wave goodbye as she turns around to leave, trying not to think about the way that smile sent your stomach all funny. “get home safe. update me on the hangover.”

she looks over her shoulder at you as she walks away, chuckling. “will do.”

you go to close the door, watching her stuff her hands into her pockets and make her way down the street for a moment too long.

[im-so-normal-iswear]

triple S x celebrity! reader thats in a band. They constantly get bombarded by fans whenever they go out and deal with creepy fans all the time, but one day it goes a little too far when a weird fan somehow finds readers home and breaks in, how would they deal with it? (You can choose whether they are yandere or not) I absolutely love your writing!! Take your time

A/n: i just realized that for some of you, or like anyone that isnt in California my update schedule is really weird, since usually i post at like 9-11 pm since i have time to at those points, but for most people im actually posting the next day bc of time zones.

Triple S x Celebrity!Reader

The flashing lights of cameras were nothing new. Neither were the overwhelming crowds, the hands reaching out, the screams of your name blending into the air. Being in a band meant attention, whether you wanted it or not. You had long since accepted that privacy was a luxury you could rarely afford. But even knowing that, you never expected it to escalate this far.

At first, it had been like any other outing. You had been out with your bandmates, grabbing food after a long rehearsal. The restaurant was high-end and supposedly discreet, but that didn't stop fans from finding you. The moment you stepped outside, a swarm surrounded you, cameras flashing, voices shouting over one another in desperation.

"Look here, please!"

"Can you sign this?"

"Marry me!"

You had smiled, signed a few autographs, and tried to keep moving. The three had been there, of course, Sonic, Shadow, and Silver, your closest friends (and, depending on who you asked, your unofficial bodyguards). They had always been protective, standing close whenever the crowds got too aggressive, making sure no one got too handsy. Sonic had taken the lead, flashing his signature cocky grin as he casually redirected fans with smooth conversation. Silver had done his best to help, though he had an awkward way of handling social situations. Shadow, on the other hand, had simply glared at anyone who got too close, his mere presence enough to keep the more unhinged fans at bay.

It had been manageable. Until it wasn't.

A hand had grabbed your wrist, too tight. You had tried to pull away, but they had yanked. Sonic was the first to react, prying their fingers off of you with surprising force. "Hey, back off!" he snapped, his usual playful demeanor gone. Silver had immediately placed himself between you and the fan, his expression unusually serious, while Shadow had stepped forward with a look so dark it made the offender shrink back in fear.

"Try that again," Shadow had said, his voice deadly quiet, "and see what happens."

The fan had scurried away, and you had managed to escape with their help. Just another day in the life of a celebrity, right?

You had laughed it off later, pretending it hadn't shaken you. But when you got home that night, something felt… off.

Your apartment was in a secure building, meant to keep obsessive fans and paparazzi at bay. But as soon as you stepped inside, a chill ran down your spine. The air felt wrong, like someone else had been there.

Then you saw it.

Your couch cushions were slightly out of place. A framed picture on your shelf had been moved. But what truly made your stomach drop was the note sitting on your kitchen counter. A single piece of paper, with words scrawled in red ink:

"I finally found you. You belong to me."

Your breath hitched. Every instinct screamed at you to run, but before you could even move, you heard it, the faintest creak of a floorboard.

You weren't alone.

Panic surged through you as you backed away toward the door. But just as your hand reached for the handle, something moved in the shadows of your hallway. A figure stepped forward, disheveled, wild-eyed, grinning.

"You're even more beautiful up close," the intruder whispered.

Your stomach twisted.

Before they could take another step, the door behind you burst open.

Sonic was the first inside, moving faster than you could even process. He grabbed you by the wrist and yanked you behind him, shielding you with his body. His usual carefree smirk was nowhere to be found. Instead, his eyes were sharp, his muscles tense.

"Who the hell are you?" Sonic demanded, his voice low and dangerous.

The intruder took a step back, startled by the sudden dangerous, but then their gaze flickered to you, and their smile widened. "You're mine," they breathed. "I know you feel it too-"

They didn't get to finish that sentence.

Shadow moved in next, and before the intruder could react, he had them pinned against the wall, one hand gripping their throat. "You broke into their home, Give me one good reason why I shouldn't break your neck right now"

The fan gasped, struggling against Shadows grip, their bravado crumbling in an instant. Their eyes darted wildly, looking for an escape, but there was none. Not with his merciless glare burning into them.

Silver followed close behind, his expression unreadable, "You don't get to do this," Silver said quietly, his usual softness nowhere to be found. "You dont 'own them'."

The intruder whimpered. "I-I just wanted-"

"Shut up." Shadow's voice was cold, his patience nonexistent. "You don't get to talk."

Your hands were shaking. You hadn't even realized it until Sonic gently grabbed one of them, squeezing reassuringly. His touch was warm, grounding. "Hey," he murmured, turning to look at you. "You're okay. We got you."

You swallowed hard, nodding, but your heart was still pounding.

The next few moments were a blur. Sonic called the authorities. Silver took place for Shadow, using his own powers to hold the intruder in place.

When the police arrived, the stalker was hauled away, still muttering about how they "belonged" to you. The officers assured you that they would be charged with trespassing and harassment, though that did little to ease your nerves.

Even after they were gone, your apartment still felt tainted.

"You're not staying here," Shadow said bluntly, as if the decision had already been made.

You blinked at him. "What?"

"You heard him," Sonic chimed in. "You’re coming with us. No way in hell you're spending the night alone after that."

Silver nodded, his expression softer now. "We just… We don't want anything like this to happen again."

You hesitated, but the thought of staying in your apartment, alone, after what had just happened, made your stomach churn. With a quiet sigh, you nodded.

That night, you stayed at their place. Shadow took first watch, sitting by the door like a sentry, his arms crossed and eyes sharp. Sonic did his best to lighten the mood, cracking jokes, pretending like everything was normal, but even he stayed close, keeping an eye on you. Silver, ever the worrier, made you tea, using his powers to float a blanket over your shoulders.

"You're safe now," Silver murmured, and for the first time since stepping into your apartment that night, you actually believed it.

Because if there was one thing you knew for certain, it was this:

No one, not a stalker, not a crazed fan, not anyone, was getting past them. Not while you were under their protection.

A/n: i love elipses, you can probably tell that by now.

[seeingivy]

3:45 am

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

an: I can't find the request, but someone asked for a sukuna version of the 3:45 am chapter of roommate eren! here it is <3

“why do you have such a shit face?” 

you look up from your computer to find sukuna lingering by the door – fidgeting with the buttons of his collar and the end of his tie – as he spares you an irritated glance. it’s one that you return right back, before hunching back over the table and focusing back in on the lab report you were writing. 

“i’m talking to you.” 

sukuna shuffles over to your side, before crouching down till your faces are side by side, the breaths coming out of his nose tickling the bare skin on your shoulder. 

“i have such a shit face because i looked at you.” you mumble. 

sukuna sucks in a breath, almost like he’s trying hard to conceal his laughter, before he pulls closer, leaning his chin on your collarbone. the proximity makes it hard to ignore the sweet smell of his shampoo, which only gets worse when it’s accompanied by the sharp scent of his cologne. 

“is that any way…to repay my kindness?” sukuna questions. 

you roll your eyes, lightly jolting your shoulder up to get him to stop leaning on you. and he takes the hint just as much, as he draws up the chair at your side and pulls closer to see the molecules that you’re constructing on your computer. 

“you know, when you said you were going to do this favor for me, i wasn’t exactly expecting that you were going to hold it over my head this way.” 

ryomen sukuna was just an acquaintance – who happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time – and then he wasn’t. 

it’s because he has a moral compass. or because really, he feels guilty for not telling you earlier – especially when he’s seen other friends of his in the same position as you. so when he found you down on your luck – getting cheated on by your boyfriend, who you lived with, by your best friend of all people – he offered you the extra room that he had in his apartment. 

i’m lots of things, but i’m not a sadist. that’s what he said when you snuck out in the middle of the night, all of your things packed into a box that you subsequently emptied out into the free room that he offered. he had hell to pay from your ex-boyfriend the next day, the two of them jostling it out on the basketball court, before they both got reprimanded by the coach and decided to keep their distance 

sukuna isn’t a bad roommate. he isn’t exactly a good roommate per say either. because the sweet kindness that he offered you wore off around the second day and you realized that really – he was one of the most irritating people that’s every walked the surface of this earth. 

he brought over girls – tons of them. and when you asked him to keep it down, just so you could get some assignments done or study for an exam, he’d make it a point to bring multiple girls over – just to see the irritated expression on your face. 

he’d make up for it of course. because what he lacked in face-forward politeness, he made up for with his quiet gestures. like making you breakfast the morning of said exam – set with a matcha latte that he learned how to make special for you, because you don’t like the taste of coffee. or whenever he found you crying, he’d always let you rant it out – but not without giving you a few insults about how you had no standards here and there. 

“i think it’s dumb as fuck that you aren’t going tonight.” sukuna says. 

you slam the enter key on your computer. 

“your opinion has been noted.” you respond. 

“then come.” he grates. 

athletes at the university get to attend a formal at the end of each semester. it’s a nice dinner, accompanied with a horrible DJ, and a weird mix of sentimental speeches.

really, it was actually your idea of fun. only because it always felt nice to go to events like this. it was one of the few excuses you had to use the pretty dresses that you had in your closet, actually blow out your hair to make it look nice, and use the pretty glitters that your sister had given you for your birthday last year. 

and even more than that, it always felt nice to be shown off. because you’d meet tons of people who had heard all about you – the coach, the athletic trainers – who’d all give you sweet comments about how you were far too good for your boyfriend, who would then make some silly comment about how he never knew how he got you to talk to him in the first place. 

sukuna offered to accompany you. and also promised that he’d sneak some kind of contraband in so that the two of you could actually have fun – but it was something you denied. you denied most of the offers that he made that were similar to this, even though he was quite persistent, only because you knew that it wasn’t the right time. 

for better lack of words, you felt like a kicked dog. and you needed time to recover – before you could see your old best friends, or your ex-boyfriend, or really anyone outside the three circle rotation of people that you were able to tolerate. 

“i won’t have fun. and i don’t want to be a downer on the one night that’s supposed to be for you.” you respond. 

“well, you’re always a downer. so it won’t exactly make a difference.” sukuna responds. 

“thanks. that really makes me feel better, sukuna.” 

“i live to serve.” he responds, before bracing his hands against the table and pushing off. 

he spares you one last glance before stopping at the mirror near door, toussling with his hair and the piercings hanging from his ears. it’s a passing thought that you immediately banish – that panging in your chest at the thought of sukuna enjoying the night with a lanky girl on his arm. 

“you know, if you stare for any longer, you’re going to fall in.” you respond. 

“hilarious.” he deadpans. 

“who are you going with? i’ll have to make a phone call and let her know that she’s just going to have to find her own ride.” 

“no one.” 

you feign shock, pressing one of your hands to your chest – and really, trying to hide the secret delight that you’re reveling in. 

“wow. did hell freeze over?” 

“just didn’t feel like it. this type of shit is always kind of boring.” sukuna responds. 

you shrug. 

“i don’t know. i always thought it was kind of fun.” 

sukuna turns around, sparing you one last glance. 

“you know, i do recall that you would stand in the corner and talk to the moms all night. that sounds like my personal nightmare.” 

you smile. 

“well, that’s just because the moms don’t really like you. i however get along with them quite well.” 

sukuna rolls his eyes. 

“i’m sure that’s true. i’ll see you, okay? don’t sleep too late.” 

you give him a sly look. 

“worried about me?” 

“no, you just look ugly with eye bags.” 

--

you do not take sukuna’s advice. instead, you finish up your lab report and open a bottle of pink wine – to accompany you in your endeavors to watch ten things i hate about you. 

and it goes considerably well – until you hear a slamming pounding on your door at 3:45 am. you reach for the closest jacket, one of sukuna’s hoodies, before pulling it over your shorts and peeking out of the peephole. 

you swing the door open. 

“right. hi.” 

you pause. 

“megumi, right?” 

“yeah. just bringing sukuna back. he’s plastered.” 

you look down to where he’s gesturing to find sukuna slumped against the wall, offering you a half hearted smile from his bloodied nose. 

“right. well, thanks for bringing him back. what happened to his face?” 

“same as last time.” 

you roll your eyes, as megumi drags sukuna up by the arms. he stumbles in the air, leaning his weight against you, as you shoot megumi one last smile before slamming the door shut. 

the sweet smell of his shampoo and cologne is gone all together – now replaced with the mix of metallic blood, sweat, and the faintest smell of beer. 

“sit down, sukuna. i’m going to clean you up.” you mumble, trying to stabilize him in the air to stand by himself. 

“y/n?” he asks, before stumbling in the air. 

you reach forward, trying to brace his fall as he looks down at you – suddenly somewhat awake as his face breaks out into a small smile. he reaches forward, bringing one of his bloodied knuckles to cup the side of your face. 

“y/n.” he whispers. 

you swallow the block in your throat in your stomach. 

“don’t try to sweet talk me. i’m mad at you.” you respond, dragging him towards the center before leaning him against the kitchen counter. 

you reach down to the bottom of the sink, setting a glass of water aside and pulling out the little box of first aid that you had put together once you got here and put it at his side. you open up the neatly organized compartments, pulling out the gauze and the alcohol wipes, before turning back to him. 

“don’t be mad, princess.” he mumbles. 

you feel your cheeks burn. 

“don’t call me that.” 

“isn’t that what you are? my little brat?” 

you scoff. 

“are you trying to insult me?” you ask, reaching for his left hand first and swiping the area clean. 

“you have no…no idea what i think about you.” 

you reach for the wrappings, tucking them in against the callousness of his hands, as he looks down, locking his fingers in with yours. and then he leans forward, snaking one of his hands around your neck. 

you quickly shuffle yourself out of his embrace, before lightly pushing him back. he seems to take the cue, before you lean forward again, slightly hesitant this time, as you wipe the area around his nose. 

“why’d you fight with him this time?” 

sukuna scrunches his face up – irritated at the mention of the past few hours. 

“nothing he didn’t fucking deserve.” 

“right. last time, he missed a three pointer and you socked him in the face. so let me guess, he was two hours late today and you just got carried away?” 

sukuna scoffs. 

“he was running his mouth.” 

your curiosity has piqued. 

“about?” 

“you.” sukuna slurs. 

you smile. 

“so glad to see you had sound judgment tonight, sukuna.” you respond, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

sukuna leans forward, his lips a little too dangerously close as he rests his hands at the sides of your waist. 

“he brought that stupid bitch with him.” 

“sukuna.” you warn. 

“he brought. that stupid bitch with him. and he had the nerve to stand there and talk shit about you.” sukuna responds. 

you reach for the glass and place it in his hands, offering him a smile. 

“just drink the water to sober up a little bit. it’s late.” 

sukuna gives you a glare, as you let go of the glass, only for him to spill the entirety of it on you with his shaky hands. he barely registers that he did it – and you suppose that it’s really your fault for trusting him to hold the glass on his own – as you swing your arm around his torso and lead him towards his room. 

he flops onto the bed as you rummage through his drawers, pulling out a pair of pants and shirt for him as you turn back around. 

“sukuna. get up and change and you can sleep all you want.” you coax. 

he responds with an unintelligible noise – further muffled by the fact that he’s face down on the bed – as you reach for one of his arms and pull. he somewhat works with you, sitting up as he wobbles, and reaches for the tie around his neck and tosses it aside. 

his first struggle comes with the buttons. because he can’t seem to coordinate his fingers well enough to push the buttons through the holes – and obviously, with the short temper he has, gives up in all but three seconds. 

“help.” 

you roll your eyes as he stands up, leaning against you as you reach forward, and slowly unbutton down the length of the shirt. 

“you drive me crazy, you know that?” sukuna whispers. 

you ignore the comment as you pull the shirt down the length of his arms – exposing the tattoos that you’ve always wondered about, that peek out of the sleeves of his shirt or neck. you hand him the shirt, which he tosses aside. 

“too hot.” 

“okay, well. just put the pants on and then i’ll leave. i’ll turn around.” you respond. 

you turn around, twisting the rings on your fingers as you wait for him to finish, only to me met what could possibly be your worst nightmare. 

“y/n. wait, fuck. you have to help.” he whines. 

you turn around to look at him, only to find that he’s still wearing his pants. 

“what?” 

“the button. i can’t…” 

you feel your throat dry. 

“sukuna. i can’t…take your pants off for you. just try harder.” 

“just fucking help me.” 

you shake off the nervousness, as you bend down on your knees, trying to squint through the dark light to find the button. except before you can fully do it, sukuna reaches for your biceps and somewhat harshly pulls you up. 

“wh-” 

you look up to find him swallowing hard, before he talks. 

“it’s like you’re trying to make this difficult for me. don’t get on your fucking knees to do it.” sukuna responds. 

“how else am i supposed to see it?” 

sukuna doesn’t respond, as you shake your head and feel down the length of his pants, before you find the button. and surely enough, it’s hard to push but you get it after a second try, and turn around as sukuna switches the pants he’s wearing. 

and you almost make your sweet escape before he tangles his fingers around your wrist and pulls back. his fingers are fast on your waist as he turns you around, somewhat toppling your balance so you’re leaning against his chest – and stuck in his embrace. 

“stay.” he whispers.  

“you are so fucking drunk, sukuna.” 

“stay, please. i don’t want to sleep without you.” 

you shake your head. 

“my hoodie is wet. i have to change.” 

sukuna shakes his head. 

“are you wearing anything underneath? you know i wouldn’t mind either way.” sukuna whispers. 

“a tank top, but really. i have to go back to –” 

sukuna’s fingers are fast – since he apparently has enough coordination to help you with this – as he pulls it over your head, before setting his hands back around your waist. the way he’s looking down at you, eyes wide, makes you shiver as he leans forward, and presses his fingers against your collarbone. 

“you have a tattoo.” sukuna whispers. 

you laugh. 

“so do you.” 

and it makes your skin shiver, when sukuna snakes his hands underneath your shirt, leaning forward to press his lips against the inked skin on your shoulder, unable to contain your surprise. the tufts of his hair tickle your neck as you lean back, placing your hands on the sides of his face. 

“you’re drunk.” 

sukuna pauses. 

“is that the only reason you’re saying no?” 

you shake your head. 

“go to bed. you don’t even know what you’re fuckking saying right now.” 

“just stay with me.” 

sukuna releases his grasp, instead reaching for both of your hands and squeezing at your fingers. 

“please. don’t leave me alone.” 

“okay, okay. let’s just go sleep. we’ll talk in the morning.” 

--

you wake up to the most haunting sight known to man – sukuna hovering over you. 

“jesus fuck.” 

sukuna laughs as you press your palms into the sockets of your eyes, pushing as hard as can as you very quickly remember the events of last night – of the shivering feeling of sukuna’s lips on your neck and the horribly embarrassing moan you let out when he did. 

“oh god.” 

you open your eyes to find sukuna still hovering – an almost too excited grin painted on his face – his silver necklace hanging in the air.

“give me permission this time.” sukuna states. 

you widen your eyes. 

“i beg your pardon?” 

sukuna snakes one of his fingers under your waist, using the other to trace the outline of your tattoo again, as he leans closer to you, the distance dangerously close considering the events of last night. 

“give me permission.” sukuna asks. 

“you…” 

sukuna rolls his eyes, before leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. 

“if it wasn’t clear, i think about you very often. irritatingly enough, i’m actually very fond of you. so much so, that i turned down that fucking barista from the coffee shop last night and went to that fucking party by myself..” 

“marie?” 

“is that her name?” sukuna asks. 

you bite down on your cheek. 

“i also gave someone a beating for you and got suspended from playing for two weeks, so just give me fucking permission now.” 

“you got what?” 

sukuna leans down, resting his chin against your bicep, as he eyes you again, before pressing a kiss to the skin. 

“give me permission.” 

“you’ve already kissed me twice.” 

sukuna shakes his head. 

“cmon. i need to hear it.” 

you shake your head, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that your heart is pounding in your chest as you look down at him, brown eyes peering into yours 

“um. okay? ….yes. or yeah, whatever, i –” 

all you hear is an excited chuckle before his lips are against yours, hands almost rough around your neck as he pulls you up, till your straddling him in his lap, hands secured around his neck. and you can tell that he’s enjoying himself far too much – from the way he smiles into the kiss, before pressing three, four, and five kisses to your cheek. 

you fight the urge to smile at him fully as you lean forward, cupping his face in your hands and eyeing the cut across the bridge of his nose. 

“have i repaid your kindness yet?” you murmur. 

sukuna pauses, before leaning in. 

“no, i think i need a little bit more.”

--

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[inaconstantstateofchange]

Who Builds Theseus' Ship?

This ties in to a greater discussion about Larian's changes to the game post-Full Release, and whether you consider those changes to be a good thing or a bad thing. Personally speaking, the quality-of-life and gameplay mechanics improvements were appreciated, while the direct changes to characters and especially characterization were not so much.

In such discussions, I often see people downplaying the actual changes to characterization that have been made thus far as "minor" things, but I often see one of the most glaring examples of a characterization change left out, because so many people aren't even aware of it ever happening:

Halsin.

For those who don't know, if you were romancing Halsin at the time of the original full release, and for almost four months afterward, if you took him with you to Act 3's orgy scene in Sharess's Caress, he would open up about a situation in his distant past. He would tell you about how he had briefly been "something between guest, prisoner, and consort" in a drow House, and been kept there for three years before escaping.

He stated that this was something that happened "a long time ago", when he was "a foolhardy young druid", which would mean it would likely have been between ages 100 and 245 — or at minimum 105 years ago, and at (likely) maximum 250 years ago. He closed the discussion with a line that really struck me, and that gave me such an appreciation for his character, and for the writers who had created it:

The passage of time has a strange way of polishing even the most arduous of memories into precious keepsakes.

As someone in their late-20s, with a number of traumatic events in my past, this resonated so much both with my experience of those events – once harrowing and haunting, now just simple happenings that do not affect me the way they once did – and as an inspirational message, that hurt would not necessarily linger forever.

Not only that, I really valued the insight it gave into Halsin's personality, further showing him to be someone who was deeply complex and meditative, always looking for meaning and something to take away or learn from any experience. It also served to showcase the likely reality of the relationship elves and druids both would have to the concepts of time and memory. (Another example of this is the experience of Shadowheart's father compared to her mother at the hands of the Sharrans.)

I started playing the game almost immediately upon its release in August, and was intrigued by Halsin from the start. He was someone who was kind and heartfelt, but also very settled in himself and with a simultaneously rigid and very flexible moral code. It was that complexity that drew me to him, and I appreciated the inclusion of a character distinct from the Origin companions, all at close to the lowest point of their lives.

It was to my surprise to find that this appreciation for his character and perspective on his Act 3 revelation was not unanimous. As it turned out, there was a vocal group of people claiming that this writing was problematic, and that Halsin clearly didn't even realize he was actually traumatized, and that Larian needed to fix it. Not everyone joining in with this crusade had even played the game.

And, ultimately, in a pattern they have continued to follow, Larian responded. They fixed it. At the end of November, as part of Patch 5, they uploaded an edited version of the scene with new dialogue, where the player could express this "reality" to Halsin, in one of the most gallingly patronizing statements I've ever seen.

Sounds traumatic. You may need to reflect on that.

(If someone said this to me after I had opened up to them about my trauma and my experience of it to them, we would not be maintaining a cordial relationship afterward.)

Halsin's new response to these dialogue options is a cringing, self-deprecating cascade of how the player is of course right, and he should have known better, and time could "prove to be a trickster on one's recollections" and that perhaps he had "lost perspective".

Quite frankly, it is a completely different character answering, and an almost directly opposing overall message about the role of time in healing, and the path forward when it comes to trauma. No more "one day these events will not hurt to recall the way they do now". In its stead: "only healing that looks a specific way and follows a specific path is acceptable - anything else and you are simply a poor fool lying to yourself."

The following quote is from a comment left on a video of Halsin's original dialogue in that scene, before the changes, and is just one example of how much that representation meant to more than just me to see:

That said, Halsin is trauma recovery goals for me absolutely. Being able to remember without actually being triggered? Being able to fully and freely engage HOW ID LIKE TO instead of being fettered by trauma responses? Goals. I don’t know if I’ll ever get there 100%, we don’t get elven lifetimes irl, but his level of healing brings me hope.

Ultimately, this post is not meant to argue that you should agree with me that one is better than the other. More so, I want to highlight that this existed — for many people, this was their experience of events and characters, and that is not so easily redacted. And I also want to just state, for the record, that Larian's way of approaching narrative and characterization changes to their full-release game has been incredibly frustrating. I did not agree, in August, to play an Early Access game with the inherent understanding that any potential narrative aspect might change at any time. I purchased a full-release game, and immersed myself in the story and the characters, to get to know them as the writers had originally presented.

And when Larian makes these changes based on fan feedback, they are explicitly making decisions about which fans matter, and specifically, which fans matter most. Rather than allowing everyone to experience the story they decided to tell, and draw from it what they take away, and let that spark discussion and engagement, they made the decision to defer to some fans over others, and prioritize their experience of the narrative — something that, no matter how well-intended, is always going to leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

[inkedinshadows]

Never Hold Back

Day 31: Squirting — Lucien x f!reader

Warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering, insecure reader

Word count: 1.099

A/N: we've finally got to the end of Kinktober! This was so much fun, but it was also exhausting ngl. I'm working on new fics and I'm so glad it's not smut bc I seriously need a break from it. I didn't think I'd be able to write a fic for each day when I decided to do this and I have to say I'm quite of myself for making it. Thank you so much to everyone who read/commented/reblogged my silly smutty blurbs and if you've stuck around to read them all, I love you pls let's get married.

based on this suggestion

You didn’t have much experience with sex. Or rather, you did, but the people you had been with could be counted on one hand. And if there was one thing you learned after your first time, it was how to fake an orgasm just before the real one hit you. That way, your partner would relent, sparing you the embarrassment.

But Lucien wasn’t like your previous lovers. He was your mate.

When you arched off the bed and moaned louder than before, he pulled his mouth away from you and watched you with a furrowed brow.

“Why do you do that?”

At first, you didn’t understand what he was talking about, and your insecurities took over. What had you done? Did you have an actual orgasm? No, you would have felt that, and Lucien would have looked more grossed out than concerned.

“Do what?” you asked, trying to keep the tremor from your voice.

Lucien sat up straight and you immediately felt the absence of his head between your thighs. His eyes found yours and the uneasiness etched on his face made you brace yourself for what might be coming.

He was silent for a moment before he said quietly, “If you don’t enjoy what I’m doing, please just tell me.”

Eyes wide, you sat up too. “Why would you think that? Of course I enjoy it, Lu!”

“Then why did you just fake an orgasm?”

“I didn’t—”

“You did it last time too.”

Your breath caught, heat rising to your cheeks until you were sure you looked like a tomato. Unsure how to respond, you looked down at your fidgeting hands.

You always thought you were good at faking, that it looked real enough to not raise suspicions. None of the males you’d been with before had ever noticed. And now that your mate had realized it, you wished the ground would open and swallow you whole.

“Sunshine,” he called softly.

A slender finger hooked under your chin, and then you were looking into his eyes. He didn’t seem upset, which spurred you to finally say something.

“I’m sorry,” you stuttered, and words began pouring out in an incoherent stream. “It’s just… my body. When I come, it does— it’s really gross, so I just… I thought you—”

You stopped abruptly when his thumb moved to cover your lips. He searched your face, his brows still furrowed, before he asked, “What do you mean ‘gross’?”

You shook your head, resisting the urge to look away again, but his gaze was piercing, and his golden eye seemed to see right through you, so eventually you answered, voice just above a whisper.

“I… I tend to squirt.”

You expected disgust, judgment, maybe even rejection—the same reactions you had gotten the few times it happened, the reasons you had started faking.

Instead, Lucien smiled broadly. “You do?”

He sounded so excited that you frowned as you gave him a single nod. His hands traveled down your body, caressing your sides until they rested on your waist. You were still waiting for a rejection, and he probably read it on your face because he gently squeezed you.

“Y/N… did someone tell you it’s gross?” he questioned. “Is that why you say that?”

You blinked. “You don’t think it is?”

As soon as the words left your mouth, Lucien’s posture changed. His back went a bit rigid, and his jaw clenched as he let you go. “Lay back down,” he said, or rather ordered. No soft tone was left in his voice, in his expression.

“Lucien…” you tried, but he cut you off.

“Lay down. I’m going to make you come.”

You did as he asked, though with a touch of hesitation. Lucien was quick to settle between your legs again. When you opened your mouth to try and talk him out of it one last time, he beat you to it.

“I am going to make you come,” he repeated, even more firmly than the first time. And then he was licking a stripe up your folds, his hands holding you open for him to feast on.

You decided to just enjoy it, then. What else were you supposed to do when he flicked his tongue over your clit and gently rolled it between his lips? Your hand shot out to tangle in his fiery hair, and you sucked in a breath, feeling his low chuckle reverberate against your cunt.

He probed your entrance with a finger, and when you squirmed, he pushed it in and curled it, hitting that sweet spot that drew a groan from deep in your throat. And then you lost all sense of time and space as the fingers became two and his mouth latched onto your clit.

The pleasure was rising fast—faster than ever, now that you weren’t worrying about waiting for the perfect moment to fake your orgasm. Yet as you felt it approaching, the thought that maybe you should stop before it was too late lingered at the back of your mind.

“Lucien, I’m… I’m close,” you warned, your voice a breathless murmur.

“Then come for me, sunshine.” He looked up at you through his lashes, and his next words were a low, commanding growl. “Don’t you dare hold it back.”

When he thrust his fingers in deeper and curled them once more, you didn’t hold it back, and after so long without such an intense feeling, you were utterly overwhelmed by it. A loud cry broke free from you as your whole body shook while you squirted all over Lucien’s fingers and chin. He held you firm, still working you until you went limp, spent and panting. Only then did he pull back, and you blushed at the sight of his face covered in your release.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

Lucien only smiled. “Don’t be. Don’t ever apologize for it.”

He climbed up your body, and you wrapped your arms around his neck out of instinct. As he kissed you, you could taste yourself on his lips and tongue. You weren’t sure how you felt about it.

“It was amazing, sunshine,” he murmured against your lips. “Hot, even.”

His words warmed your heart and a bit of the shame you had grown accustomed to began to melt away. If Lucien, your mate, found it hot… then maybe it wasn’t actually that bad after all.

“And to think that you've denied yourself so many orgasms because of it…” he went on. A smirk blossomed on his lips and a mischievous glint sparked in his russet eye. “Let me remedy that.”

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[elikajinnie]

You Are My Sunshine - K.S

P: Hufflepuff!Sunoo X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Minor Bullying? Fluff, Confessions, Minor Angst.

Synopsis: You were known as the grumpy, closed-off student at Hogwarts, keeping your emotions tightly guarded. That is, until Kim Sunoo, the ever-cheerful Hufflepuff, took it upon himself to brighten your days. With his infectious laughter and unwavering optimism seep into your life, you slowly realize that the warmth of his sunshine is quickly melting away your defenses.

a/n: sorry babes and pooks, this one is kinda short? exams are coming up and i only have a sliver of moment in the commute to and from school to write :) but hope everyone had a nice halloween! (anyone got an idea for Heeseungs slytherin fic?? Im brainstorming over here >:(

masterlist

☀︎⋆｡°·☁︎

You swore you were a nice person. It might not look like it, though—your face and demeanor often gave the opposite impression. You weren’t cold, but you had always been reserved, choosing to keep to yourself more often than not. Because of that, when you first arrived at Hogwarts, you didn’t exactly collect friends the way others seemed to. Only a select few ever got to see how friendly you actually were, but that was only after you decided you could trust them.

So, it came as a surprise—a big surprise—when one afternoon, while you were tucked away in a quiet corner of the library, deeply immersed in your studies, someone pulled out a chair and sat down right beside you.

Glancing up, you immediately recognized him. Kim Sunoo, the ever-smiling, ever-popular Hufflepuff. His presence was unmistakable, bright as day. His grin was practically beaming, and it momentarily threw you off balance. You blinked, wondering if he had the wrong table.

"Hey!" he greeted, voice light and full of energy. "Mind if I sit here?"

You stared at him blankly, unsure if he was serious or just passing by. He had already sat down, so you didn’t see much point in objecting. After a beat of silence, you returned your attention to the parchment in front of you, figuring the conversation might end there.

It didn’t.

"I’ve seen you around," he continued, undeterred by your lack of response. "You’re really focused when you’re working, huh? Must be nice to be that dedicated. I always get distracted in the library."

Your eyes flicked over to him, giving a small nod but saying nothing. You weren’t used to this—the friendliness so freely given, the casual conversation with someone you barely knew. Your face remained impassive, though inwardly, you were trying to piece together why he of all people was sitting with you. Surely, he had plenty of other, more sociable people to talk to.

Sunoo, however, didn’t seem to mind your quietness. In fact, he just kept going. "I’m terrible at Potions," he admitted with a sheepish laugh. "Professor Snape probably thinks I’m hopeless. I bet you’re good at it, though. You’ve got that… I dunno, that calm, focused vibe."

You couldn’t help but frown a little at that. "Calm, focused vibe?" you echoed, your tone flat.

He grinned even wider, his eyes almost disappearing into crescent moons. "Yeah! You just seem really composed all the time. It’s cool. I get stressed and panicky over every little thing."

"I wouldn’t say I’m always calm," you replied, voice as even as your expression.

Sunoo’s smile didn’t waver. If anything, he looked more pleased that you were finally talking. "See? Even when you’re denying it, you’re calm," he teased, clearly enjoying himself. "You’re like the opposite of me."

You stared at him for a moment, wondering how anyone could be so upbeat all the time. Sunoo’s energy was infectious, even if your face didn’t show it. Still, your brows furrowed slightly as you watched him speak, trying to make sense of why this popular Hufflepuff was suddenly so interested in chatting with you.

"I don’t usually talk much," you pointed out, your tone neutral.

"I noticed," Sunoo replied without missing a beat, completely unfazed. "But I think that’s fine. You don’t need to say a lot to be interesting."

You blinked again, your expression still not giving away the faint surprise you felt at his words. You had expected him to lose interest by now, to move on to someone who would match his energy and conversation style, but he stayed right where he was, grinning like he had just made the best discovery of the day.

For a long moment, the two of you sat there, him smiling, you with your usual stoic expression, and yet, for some reason, it didn’t feel awkward. It was as if Sunoo’s bright presence was enough to fill any potential silence.

You tilted your head slightly, studying him. "Why are you talking to me?"

His laughter was soft, but genuine. "Why not? You seem interesting."

"I don’t really come across that way," you said, voice deadpan.

Sunoo shrugged, still smiling. "You do to me."

And with that, he leaned back in his chair, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to sit there, in complete contrast to your serious demeanor, radiating warmth and light like a small sun.

☀︎⋆｡°·☁︎

During your next Potions class, you settled into your usual spot toward the back, where the dim light made it easier to focus without distractions. You liked this spot. It was quiet, and you could concentrate without anyone poking their nose into your work. But just as you began setting up your ingredients, you heard a familiar, cheerful voice.

"Mind if I join you?"

You glanced up, almost certain you had imagined it, only to find Kim Sunoo grinning down at you. His presence was the last thing you expected in this class. He was known for sitting up front, surrounded by his usual group, always cracking jokes and flashing that bright smile.

Sunoo slid into the seat beside you before you could respond, giving you an easy, friendly smile as he began organizing his ingredients. "I thought maybe if I sat by you, Professor Snape might be a little more… forgiving?" he whispered, his tone hopeful.

You raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Why would he be?"

"Well," he said, leaning in slightly as if sharing a great secret, "he likes you. Haven't you noticed? He doesn’t scowl as much when you’re around. I figured maybe I could absorb some of your calm, composed energy," he added, making an exaggerated face of concentration as if he were already channeling your stoic look.

You couldn’t help but let a small, amused huff escape. “If that’s your plan, I wouldn’t count on it working.”

Sunoo smiled wider, undeterred. "Worth a shot, right?"

As if on cue, Snape swept into the classroom, his dark robes billowing behind him. His eyes scanned the room with that usual, critical glint before landing on you and Sunoo. He paused, visibly surprised to see the two of you sitting together, but instead of saying anything, he gave a curt nod and moved on, barking instructions for today’s lesson.

You gave Sunoo a sidelong glance as he visibly relaxed. “See? I think it’s working already,” he whispered, giving you a thumbs-up under the table. “He didn’t even glare!”

You rolled your eyes. "He didn't glare because he’s focused on starting class. Don't think you're off the hook."

Sunoo just shrugged, a bit of humor still glinting in his eyes. “I don’t mind. Besides, you’re probably good at Potions, right? You could even help me. Professor Snape can’t get mad if you’re the one teaching me, right?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works. But sure… as long as you don’t blow anything up.”

Sunoo grinned again, nudging you playfully with his elbow. "Deal."

As the lesson began, you quickly noticed that Sunoo seemed determined to keep up, his usual playful energy tempered as he looked over his cauldron with an unexpected intensity. It was strange to see him so focused, but oddly gratifying, knowing he was genuinely trying.

"Okay," you whispered, leaning over to show him your carefully arranged ingredients. "For this Draught of Peace, every step has to be precise. Start by adding the powdered moonstone, but remember to stir counterclockwise three times after each pinch."

Sunoo glanced at you, his face serious as he nodded. "Three times, counterclockwise. Got it." He leaned forward, following your lead and adding the powder in controlled amounts. His usual talkative nature was nowhere to be seen, replaced by an almost endearing determination to get it right.

When he looked back at you for the next step, you raised an eyebrow, testing him. "What’s next, then?”

He bit his lip, thinking hard. "Uh, lacewing flies… right? Only one… no, two wings, torn lengthwise?"

"Not bad," you said, impressed. “See? You’re actually getting it."

He smiled sheepishly, keeping his eyes on his work as he carefully placed the ingredients in the cauldron. "Only because you’re explaining it in a way that makes sense," he admitted, glancing at you. "Potions books make it sound way too complicated."

You had to admit, seeing him genuinely engaged in learning something he found difficult felt surprisingly rewarding. “It’s only complicated if you rush,” you explained, “so take your time with this part. And make sure to add a clockwise stir after each wing.”

He mirrored your movements, handling each step as carefully as he could manage, clearly hanging onto each of your instructions. When he managed to mix everything without a hitch, he turned to you, his face beaming. “Look, it’s actually working. It’s not grey!”

You gave him an approving nod. “See? As long as you follow the instructions and stay focused, you’re fine.”

"Well, when you put it like that, it’s not so scary," he murmured, watching as the liquid turned a gentle blue.

"Now, simmer it for ten minutes," you said, leaning back in your chair. "And keep an eye on the bubbles—they should stay small and steady."

He sighed in relief, clearly grateful for the help. "You have no idea how much easier that makes things."

When you caught his eye, he grinned. "If I sit next to you every Potions class, you won’t mind, right?"

You paused at his question, thrown off by how quickly he’d asked it. Sunoo had a way of being open and friendly with everyone, but this… well, this felt different. You weren’t sure what he was really after, and his sudden interest in sitting with you felt almost too friendly.

So, you just shrugged, keeping your face neutral. “If you want to,” you replied, glancing back at your own cauldron.

Sunoo watched you for a moment, seeming to notice your hesitation. But instead of getting discouraged, he just gave a small laugh, scratching the back of his head. “You don’t mind, right? I mean… you’re not gonna hex me or anything?”

You blinked, caught off guard, but his teasing smirk showed he was only joking. “No,” you said, “Not unless you mess up the potion.”

He chuckled, apparently finding your reaction funny. "Alright, noted," he replied, nudging his cauldron carefully as he checked the simmering liquid. “Guess I’ll have to be on my best behavior then.”

For the rest of class, he kept close by your side, following each instruction you gave him with an unusual attentiveness. He even managed to complete the potion almost perfectly. When Snape passed by, he raised an eyebrow at Sunoo’s work but said nothing, which was the highest praise he could give.

As you cleaned up at the end of class, Sunoo packed his things slowly, glancing over at you. “Thanks for the help,” he said, smiling warmly. “Not sure I could’ve done that without you.”

You simply nodded, unsure of what to say, but he seemed content with the small gesture. As he turned to leave, he glanced back one more time. “See you next class?”

“Yeah… sure,” you replied, giving a half-shrug.

As he left, you couldn’t help but feel a little curious. Sunoo’s interest in sitting with you still felt unexpected.

☀︎⋆｡°·☁︎

Days turned into weeks, and Sunoo became a near-constant presence by your side. Whether it was Potions, lunch in the Great Hall, or even the occasional study session in the library, he always seemed to find his way over to you, plopping down with that familiar grin and easy energy that contrasted so starkly with your laid-back demeanor.

At first, you thought maybe he’d get bored, or that your lack of enthusiasm might wear him down. But Sunoo was nothing if not persistent. No matter how often you shrugged at his questions or gave him short, deadpan responses, he just laughed it off, acting as though he’d known you forever. And even though you never rejected his company outright, you never really encouraged it either. Not that Sunoo seemed to care.

One afternoon, you found yourself in the library, a familiar routine now: books spread out, your head bent over an assignment you were half-heartedly working on. The sound of footsteps made you glance up, and sure enough, there he was—Sunoo, grinning, holding two mugs of butterbeer from the kitchens.

“Thought you could use one,” he said, sliding it across the table to you.

You gave a halfhearted sigh, accepting it anyway. “You know, you don’t have to keep showing up like this. Don’t you have other friends?”

He shrugged, unfazed. “Sure, but I like hanging out with you. Plus, you’re surprisingly easy to talk to, you know?”

“Is that right,” you said, taking a sip of the butterbeer, trying to keep your face neutral. “And here I thought I was terrible company.”

“Hardly,” he replied with a grin, leaning in like he was letting you in on a secret. “I think you’re interesting, even if you act like you don’t care. And… I think you like my company, too.”

You huffed, looking away. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

He laughed, “Alright, alright. I’ll leave it at that. But you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

You hid a smile behind your hand, feeling an unexpected warmth from his words.

As days passed, Sunoo continued to be your constant shadow, sticking to you like he belonged there. Whenever he leaned in close to explain something exciting or nudged your shoulder to get your attention, you didn’t push him away. Not even a grumble. And soon enough, people began to notice—whispers trailing behind the two of you whenever you entered a room together.

"Are they really that close now?" someone muttered one afternoon in the library, eyeing the way Sunoo leaned over to show you a funny illustration in his book.

"They’re, like… polar opposites," another whispered, watching you with open curiosity, clearly baffled at how you, the reserved one with a permanent poker face, had Sunoo—the endlessly friendly, sunny Hufflepuff—so close.

The attention might have bothered you once, but Sunoo’s influence seemed to have rubbed off on you. You were a little more relaxed, even when people stared or asked questions. Sunoo’s laughter or his quick jokes were enough to break the awkwardness you might’ve once felt, and strangely enough, you’d even found yourself talking to more people—not necessarily by choice, but because he kept introducing you to others.

One evening, you were sitting in the library with one of your closer friends. They’d known you for years and were one of the few who really understood you. As Sunoo wandered over to grab a book from the shelves nearby, your friend leaned in with a small smile.

“You know, it’s funny,” they said quietly, eyeing you with amusement. “You and Sunoo… you balance each other out. Like, he brings you out of your comfort zone with all these people and conversations, and you, well… you help him calm down and focus more.”

You raised an eyebrow, a bit skeptical. “Sunoo? Focused?”

Your friend chuckled. “More than you’d think. Have you noticed how much more serious he’s been in Potions lately? And he actually sits through an entire library study session without talking your ear off.”

You shrugged, not wanting to admit just how true it was. “Maybe he’s just getting better at Potions.”

“Sure,” they replied, giving you a knowing look. “And maybe you’re just getting more social.”

You huffed, looking away to hide a small, reluctant smile. It was true that Sunoo had brought a new energy to your life, and whether you liked it or not, you’d changed a little since he’d attached himself to you. You actually found yourself looking forward to his presence. He made things… lighter.

Just then, Sunoo bounded over, oblivious to the conversation you’d been having. He plopped down beside you, smiling as usual. “Hey! Did you know they added a new dessert in the kitchens? We have to go try it later!”

Your friend shot you a look, clearly delighted by the way you barely rolled your eyes before nodding. “Fine,” you replied. “But you’re bringing it back here. I’m not going all the way to the kitchens.”

Sunoo’s smile only grew. “Deal. You’re finally starting to admit you like spending time with me, huh?”

You scoffed, looking away to hide the faint warmth creeping into your cheeks. “Don’t push it.”

But the truth was undeniable, and both your friend and Sunoo could see it: somehow, the two of you had found a balance.

It didn’t take long for you to realize just how well Sunoo had come to understand you. He could somehow sense when your patience was wearing thin, when you’d been around people for too long and needed to be left alone. Whenever he picked up on your waning energy, he would offer you a small, knowing smile, give you a light squeeze on the shoulder, and let you be. No questions asked, no lingering around to wait you out—he just knew.

And maybe, in some way, you’d learned to pick up on his cues, too. Sunoo, who was normally all bright smiles and endless chatter, had quiet days—moments when his laughter would be softer, his eyes a little distant, his usual warmth feeling dimmed. At first, you didn’t know what to make of it, but eventually, you realized what he needed. So, whenever he’d get that faraway look, you’d make an extra effort to bring a bit of lightness back into his world.

Like the time you found him sitting by the lake, lost in thought as he absently trailed his fingers through the water. Without a word, you’d sat beside him and started retelling one of Snape’s more ridiculous lectures with a deadpan voice, mimicking Snape’s mannerisms in a way that finally drew a soft, genuine laugh from Sunoo.

“You’re pretty funny when you want to be,” he had said, nudging your shoulder as his smile returned.

“Just don’t get used to it,” you replied, but you couldn’t stop the small smile from creeping onto your face.

And it did go both ways. Sometimes you’d notice his plate looking a little too empty at dinner, and without a word, you’d sneak extra food onto it, nudging it his way until he ate. On the mornings he’d wander into class looking groggy and starving from skipping breakfast, you’d casually slide a piece of toast or a muffin over to him without drawing any attention, not even acknowledging it as he glanced at you in surprise, a grateful look in his eyes.

Once, he’d shown up in the library just before lunch, clearly worn down from a long morning of classes. His face lit up as he saw you, but before he could say anything, you pulled a sandwich from your bag and held it out to him, rolling your eyes as he grinned.

“Eat,” you ordered, trying not to smile at the way he accepted it.

“You’re seriously the best,” he said between bites, eyes shining with gratitude.

You shrugged, not making a big deal of it. “Just don’t skip meals.”

As much as Sunoo’s constant presence had once felt overwhelming, you couldn’t deny how natural it had become. He was someone you didn’t mind looking after, just as he looked after you in his own way. And even though you still hadn’t outright admitted how much he’d come to mean to you, you knew he could feel it.

After all, Sunoo seemed to understand you better than you’d ever expected.

☀︎⋆｡°·☁︎

On a Thursday, right as you and Sunoo were walking down the hall from Potions, laughing quietly about some ridiculous mistake he’d made when a group of students passed by, whispering just loud enough for you to hear.

“Can’t believe those two are always together,” one of them sneered, glancing your way. “I don’t get what Sunoo sees in someone so… cold.”

“Yeah, must be a pity friendship,” another scoffed. “Who’d actually choose to hang around someone like that?”

The words hit you harder than you’d like to admit. You clenched your fists, feeling your cheeks grow hot with anger. Before you knew it, you were turning toward them, words already forming on your tongue.

But then, you felt a soft tug on your arm—Sunoo, pulling you back. His expression was a mix of concern and pleading, his hand gripping yours tightly.

“Don’t,” he whispered urgently, shaking his head. “They’re not worth it. Just… let it go, okay?”

But their words kept echoing in your mind, growing louder, and something about the way they’d insulted not only you but Sunoo too, made your blood boil. You could see how Sunoo was trying to brush it off, but the hurt flashed briefly in his eyes, even if he was trying to hide it.

“No,” you said firmly, ignoring his hold as you spun back around, voice sharp as you yelled after them. “Got something to say? How about you say it to our faces instead of acting like cowards?”

The group turned, surprised by your outburst, and you could see them tense, unprepared for confrontation. They exchanged uneasy looks before one of them, bolder than the others, sneered. “We’re just saying what everyone else is thinking.”

“Then let me make one thing clear,” you shot back, holding their gaze with an intensity that made them falter. “Sunoo is a hundred times the person any of you will ever be. So maybe you’re the ones who should keep quiet.”

They shifted, looking caught off guard. When they finally muttered a weak insult under their breath and walked off, you turned back to Sunoo, your anger still simmering.

Sunoo was watching you, eyes wide, a mixture of shock and something else—something soft and grateful—shining in his expression. He let out a breath, chuckling as he shook his head. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

You shrugged, still fuming, but now a little embarrassed at how strongly you’d reacted. “They don’t get to talk about us like that.”

Sunoo’s smile widened, and he squeezed your hand, which you’d forgotten he was still holding, looking at you with a warmth that seemed to melt away the remnants of your anger.

The hallway felt strangely empty around you, and though you didn’t say anything, the look you gave him said everything you couldn’t put into words.

☀︎⋆｡°·☁︎

You and Sunoo became a regular sight around Hogwarts: you, with your usual deadpan expression and arms crossed, and Sunoo practically glowing with happiness beside you. Wherever he went, you seemed to follow, trailing a few paces behind with that ever-present poker face, while he chatted, laughed, and animatedly waved to anyone who passed.

There were days when Sunoo would drag you into random "adventures" across the castle, whether it was sneaking into the kitchens to grab snacks or daring you to climb one of the tall staircases to see if you could spot your common room window.

Like that time he convinced you to join him on an impromptu “mission” to see if the Fat Friar really could pass through walls from the sixth-floor corridor to the third-floor hallway. Somehow, he managed to get you to run after the ghost with him, dodging curious glances from students and teachers alike. Sunoo had laughed himself silly when you reached the third floor out of breath, pointing out the tiny, genuine grin that slipped onto your face as he panted beside you.

"Look, they’re smiling!" someone had gasped, and Sunoo turned with a proud grin, throwing an arm around your shoulder. “See? You just needed a little fun.”

You promptly rolled your eyes, but you didn't shrug him off. “I don’t know if chasing ghosts counts as fun,” you muttered, though the corner of your mouth betrayed you with the smallest smirk.

Then, there was the time Sunoo found out you’d never tried a Sugar Quill and insisted on “fixing this tragedy.” He dragged you down to Hogsmeade, where he bought you not one but two Sugar Quills, then made a show of pulling a face as he pretended to judge your expression with every lick. Even though you mostly kept your deadpan look, he saw right through you, laughing as you admitted they were “better than expected.”

“Wait, was that a compliment?” he teased, eyes wide in mock surprise.

You rolled your eyes, biting the end of the quill. “Don’t get used to it.”

But the most notable reactions always came during the quieter moments—the times Sunoo would ramble on about something, and you’d listen quietly, only to get caught off-guard by his laugh or one of his jokes, and let a smile slip. Whenever someone noticed, they’d gape in shock, like they’d just seen something truly unbelievable.

Like when you two were sitting by the Black Lake, and Sunoo was telling some ridiculous story about how he once tried to turn the Great Hall’s chandelier into a disco ball for a party idea (though, predictably, he’d been caught). You tried to hold it in, but a soft chuckle slipped out anyway. One nearby student stared so openly that Sunoo caught it too, and immediately grinned, elbowing you.

“See? People can’t believe their eyes. They probably think you’re a statue brought to life,” he teased, his eyes crinkling in amusement.

You gave him a flat look, but the tiny smile wouldn’t leave your face. “Maybe it’s you who’s bringing me to life,” you replied dryly, just to see him blush.

The two of you were a study in contrasts—your stoic, steady presence beside Sunoo’s unstoppable, bubbly energy. But somehow, people started catching those small, fleeting moments when you softened around him, when he made you smile in spite of yourself. And as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you liked that he was the one who could bring that out in you.

Life with Sunoo by your side continued to be an endless series of unexpected twists, each one gradually chipping away at your grumpy exterior. He had this strange ability to draw out parts of you that you’d long kept hidden, surprising even yourself in the process. And, somehow, you didn’t mind it as much as you thought you would.

One afternoon, Sunoo decided it was "absolutely necessary" to take you to the Owlery to see a particular baby owl he’d become fond of. “You’ll love it, I swear,” he insisted, dragging you up the steps. And despite your half-hearted grumbles about climbing “unnecessary stairs,” you found yourself actually smiling when the little owl pecked his hand affectionately. When Sunoo turned and caught the tiny smile on your face, he gasped dramatically.

“Stop the press!” he said loudly enough to echo through the Owlery. “They do have a heart!”

“Careful, or I’ll stop coming along to your ridiculous little outings,” you muttered, though the hint of amusement in your voice was hard to ignore.

“Oh, please,” Sunoo scoffed, looping an arm through yours as you both made your way back down. “You love every second of my company.”

You didn’t answer, but your silence was all the confirmation he needed.

Another time, during a Transfiguration lesson, you found yourself paired with Sunoo for a particularly tricky assignment. Sunoo, naturally, was struggling to concentrate, his wand movements lazy and absent-minded as he kept nudging you with random observations. “Did you know Professor McGonagall has a favorite cat?” he whispered, eyes wide.

“Focus,” you deadpanned, though the corners of your mouth twitched as you tried to stifle a smile.

Seeing your reaction, he grinned, adjusting his stance and mirroring your serious expression in an exaggerated way. “Like this?” he asked, mimicking your look perfectly.

You couldn’t hold it in this time—a small, genuine laugh escaped you, shocking the students around you. Even McGonagall raised an eyebrow, glancing over her spectacles. “Good to see you finding joy in Transfiguration, for once,” she said with a rare smile.

When class ended, Sunoo was practically beaming. “See? I’m finally getting you to open up,” he said, walking beside you with that familiar, almost blinding smile.

“Don’t push your luck,” you warned, but he only laughed, knowing you didn’t really mean it.

And every now and then, you’d catch students around the castle gawking when Sunoo would lean in close, pointing out something funny on a page or whispering a joke that would make your stone-cold demeanor soften for just a second. They couldn’t believe it, seeing you actually smiling or laughing in response to his antics.

One evening in the library, you were finishing up some homework while Sunoo sat beside you, absently doodling on parchment. He glanced over at you, tapping his quill on the desk.

“So,” he started, a little softer this time, “when did I officially become your friend?”

You didn’t look up, but your lips tugged upward slightly. “Guess it was the day you decided not to leave me alone,” you replied.

Sunoo grinned, leaning his head against your shoulder with a sigh. “Good thing I’m stubborn.”

You didn’t answer, but you didn’t move away, either. In fact, the small smile you wore spoke more than words ever could.

☀︎⋆｡°·☁︎

One quiet afternoon, you and Sunoo found yourselves sitting by the Black Lake. The sun was setting, casting a warm, golden glow over the water, and for once, there were no interruptions, no curious glances from other students. It was just the two of you, enjoying the peace and each other's company.

Sunoo had been unusually silent for a while, lost in thought as he skipped stones across the lake. Finally, he turned to you, his expression more serious than usual. “Hey,” he began softly, “can I ask you something?”

You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. “Sure, what’s up?”

He hesitated, biting his lip before speaking again. “Why don’t you smile much around people? I mean, you smile a lot when it’s just us, but with others… it’s like you shut down.”

The question hung in the air, and for a moment, you weren’t sure how to respond. You stared out at the water, watching the ripples dance across the surface as you gathered your thoughts. Finally, you sighed, deciding to share a piece of your past that you rarely talked about.

“It’s not that I don’t want to smile,” you began slowly, choosing your words carefully. “I thought I had people I could rely on,” you continued, still keeping your gaze down, staring at the grass as though it held all the answers. “But things changed. They either weren’t there when I needed them most, or…” You trailed off, not quite able to voice the ways people had let you down. “It’s like they didn’t care as much as I thought they did. I felt stupid for ever trusting them.”

Your voice was barely a whisper by the end, but you forced yourself to keep going, feeling the weight of your words start to lighten as you let them out. “After that, I just… learned to be careful. I figured if I didn’t let people in, they couldn’t hurt me. So I stopped smiling so much. I thought maybe if I looked… unapproachable, people would keep their distance. And for the most part, they did.”

Sunoo gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he said quietly, his voice laced with genuine empathy. “People can be selfish, and sometimes they don’t realize how their actions affect others. But I hope you know not everyone is like that.”

A lump formed in your throat at his words, the sincerity in his tone catching you off guard. “I know,” you replied, though your voice shook slightly. “It’s just hard to remember that sometimes. I didn’t want to risk getting hurt again, so… shutting people out seemed like the safest option.”

Sunoo shifted a little closer, his warmth a quiet reminder that you weren’t alone. “You know,” he began, voice gentle, “I had my own fair share of people who weren’t exactly the best, too. It hurt, and yeah, I thought about closing myself off sometimes. But then I thought, what if I missed out on someone who really could be a good friend?”

You looked over at him, catching the soft vulnerability in his eyes. “I guess that’s why you’re so… friendly,” you said, almost teasing but more thoughtful than anything. “You don’t want to miss out on the good people out there.”

He smiled, nodding. “Exactly. And… I knew you were different, you know. Even if you didn’t smile much, even if you looked like you’d rather be anywhere else than around people, I could just tell. That there was more to you. And look,” he added with a grin, “I was right.”

A laugh slipped out before you could stop it, a genuine one, and you shook your head at his optimism. “Guess you were,” you admitted, a little sheepishly. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you putting up with me, though.”

“Oh, please,” he scoffed, playfully bumping his shoulder against yours. “I knew there was something worth sticking around for. Even if you tried to hide it.”

The weight of his words settled over you, and you couldn’t help but feel a small surge of warmth. Sunoo hadn’t just pushed past your walls; he’d done it so gently, with such patience, that you hardly realized when you’d stopped trying to keep him out.

“Thanks for… sticking around,” you said, voice quiet, the sincerity in your words a stark contrast to your usual deadpan tone.

“Anytime,” he replied, a soft smile playing at his lips as he looked out at the lake. Then, after a beat, he added, “Besides, I like having someone around who gets me. You know how I can get lost in my own thoughts sometimes. You’re always there to pull me back.”

You both shared a comfortable silence, the kind you could only have with someone who truly understood you. After a while, you finally spoke again. “I guess I kind of forgot how nice it feels to let someone in.”

Sunoo nodded, a content smile on his face. “I’m glad you trusted me with that,” he said softly. “And… I hope you know I’ll never do anything to hurt you. Promise.”

You turned to him, meeting his gaze, and for once, you let down every wall and allowed yourself to believe him. “I believe you.”

He grinned, looking both relieved and happy. “Good. Because I plan on being around for a long time, whether you like it or not.”

Rolling your eyes, you felt the small, reluctant smile tugging at your lips once again. But this time, you didn’t fight it. “Guess I don’t really have a choice, huh?”

“Nope,” he replied cheerfully, leaning his head against your shoulder with a sigh. “I’m a very stubborn person, you know.”

Sunoo’s smile was soft and reassuring, his eyes shining.“I promise, I’ll never do anything to hurt you. You’re stuck with me now, whether you like it or not.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at that, a genuine smile breaking through your usual guarded expression. “I guess I can live with that.”

Sunoo grinned, leaning in a bit closer. “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

☀︎⋆｡°·☁︎

You couldn’t quite pinpoint the moment it happened, the gradual shift from seeing Sunoo as just that kind, bubbly Hufflepuff who wouldn’t leave you alone, to… this. Somewhere in the days spent with him at your side, with his laugh brightening even your most tired moments, Sunoo had become more than just a friend.

It hit you unexpectedly one day, as you leaned against a stone wall in the courtyard, watching from afar while he chatted with a group of other students. He was laughing, the sound rich and clear as he threw his head back, eyes crinkling in a way that made him look almost ethereal. His presence lit up the entire courtyard, as if he were some rare creature, something precious that didn’t quite belong to the harshness of the real world.

For a second, you wondered how someone like him—so pure, so effortlessly kind and happy—had come to talk to you, much less stick around. And as the thought lingered, you felt an ache in your chest you hadn’t expected. Because no matter how close you’d gotten, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Sunoo was somehow beyond your reach.

He caught sight of you then, his gaze shifting from the others to land directly on you, and his face lit up even more, a broad grin spreading across his features. You blinked, feeling warmth bloom inside you as he broke away from the group, jogging over to where you stood.

“You just standing there, brooding?” he teased, his eyes glinting with playful mischief as he nudged your shoulder.

You huffed, trying to shake off the thought that had just been consuming you. “Maybe. Someone’s gotta keep the aesthetic,” you muttered, lips curling in a faint smirk.

But as he laughed, the sound tugging at something deep inside you, you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever see you the way you were beginning to see him. If he’d ever feel that same tug of warmth and longing when he looked at you.

“What?” Sunoo asked, tilting his head when he noticed you staring.

“Nothing,” you replied quickly, looking away to hide the hint of pink creeping up your cheeks.

The days turned into weeks, and while Sunoo’s cheerful presence continued to brighten your life, you found yourself slipping back into familiar habits. Each time you spotted him surrounded by large groups of people, laughing and joking with ease, an unsettling fear began to take root in your chest. You pulled away, convinced that you would inevitably reveal too much—your feelings for him slipping through the cracks, leaving you vulnerable in front of everyone.

It wasn’t that you wanted to distance yourself from Sunoo; rather, it was the overwhelming dread of accidentally exposing your heart that made you withdraw. You’d sit on the sidelines, pretending to be absorbed in your own conversations or buried in a book, watching him from afar with a mix of longing and anxiety. Each time he glanced your way, a bolt of panic shot through you, and you’d quickly look away, heart racing at the thought of what he might see in your eyes.

You told yourself it was fine, that you needed space—that it was safer to watch him from afar, to keep things simple and keep your feelings hidden.

But that was easier said than done. Every time he’d glance over with that bright, hopeful smile, a pang of guilt and longing would settle in your chest. You’d nod in acknowledgment, force a small wave, and then slip away, heart hammering as you went.

And of course, Sunoo noticed.

One evening, when you were tucked away in a quiet corner of the library, a familiar figure appeared beside you. Sunoo slid into the seat, watching you with a curious, slightly hurt expression. "You’re avoiding me," he said softly, cutting right to the point.

You didn’t look up, keeping your focus on the parchment in front of you, hoping he wouldn’t press. “No, I’m just… busy. Lots of work,” you mumbled, hoping that would satisfy him.

“Really?” he asked, his voice edged with disbelief. “Because you used to tell me when things were bothering you. Now, it’s like… like I don’t even know what’s going on with you.” His tone was tinged with hurt, and you felt it like a weight in your chest.

“I’m fine, Sunoo. Really,” you replied with a weak shrug, not daring to meet his eyes. You knew if you did, he’d see right through you.

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Don’t do that,” he pleaded, his voice wavering. “Don’t push me away. I thought… I thought we’d built something together, you know? Something real. I want to be there for you, but you have to let me in.”

You swallowed hard, feeling your heart pound painfully. “It’s just… it’s complicated.”

He leaned closer, his voice filled with an unfamiliar urgency. “Then let me in on the ‘complicated.’ I don’t want you to hide from me. Please, talk to me.”

You clenched your jaw, still not meeting his gaze. You could feel his intensity, his genuine care, and it tore you up inside. “Sunoo, just… drop it,” you said, voice quieter than you intended.

But he didn’t drop it. “Why won’t you just be real with me?” he nearly begged, his tone raw and vulnerable. “I hate seeing you shut yourself off like this. I hate that you’re just… disappearing. It’s like I’m losing you, and I don’t understand why. I thought we were closer than this.”

A pang of frustration bubbled up. He didn’t understand because you’d kept him in the dark, because you were afraid he’d never feel the same way. You had no right to be upset, but it hurt too much to bear alone any longer.

“Because, Sunoo!” you said, your voice rising. “Because I… I have feelings for you, alright?”

As soon as the words were out, your hand flew to your mouth in shock, eyes widening at what you’d just revealed. You stared at him, feeling a mixture of panic and regret swell up as the weight of what you’d just said settled between you.

You half-expected to see shock or pity on his face, but instead, Sunoo’s expression softened. Slowly, a smile spread across his lips, one of genuine happiness and warmth, lighting up his entire face.

“Do you… do you really feel that way?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper as if he didn’t quite believe his own ears.

Face burning, you nodded, too afraid to meet his eyes but not wanting to take the words back. “Yeah. I do,” you replied, voice quiet, feeling both relieved and terrified.

Without another word, Sunoo’s hands reached for yours, pulling you close. He looked at you with a joy that you hadn’t seen in him before, his eyes practically glowing. “I’ve liked you for so long,” he admitted softly, almost shyly. “You’re everything I wanted but thought I’d never have.”

You blinked, your breath catching as his words sank in. “Really?”

He nodded, grinning even wider as he held your gaze. “Yes. So… don’t pull away from me, okay? I want to be there with you, through everything.”

Still in shock, you finally let yourself breathe. Then, with a shaky smile, you whispered, “Okay.”

Sunoo’s face lit up, and he pulled you into a warm embrace, holding you close as if he’d never let go. And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself relax, feeling the weight of your guarded heart ease as you leaned into him.

Sunoo’s eyes searched yours, his expression a mix of excitement and hesitation. “Can I… kiss you?” he asked softly.

You didn’t need to think twice. Instead of answering verbally, you leaned in closer, closing the distance between you until your lips met his. The kiss was tentative at first, a gentle brush of warmth and sweetness, but it quickly deepened as Sunoo responded, his hand finding its way to the back of your neck, cradling you closer.

Every nerve in your body tingled as you kissed him back, the sensation blooming inside you like fireworks. It felt right, like a missing piece finally falling into place. Sunoo’s lips were soft against yours, and the world melted away—there was no noise, no crowd, just the two of you.

As he deepened the kiss, you felt yourself melt against him, your worries and fears dissipating like morning mist in the sunlight. Sunoo pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours, both of you breathless and a little stunned.

“Wow,” he breathed, his eyes sparkling with delight. “That was… amazing.”

You chuckled softly, still feeling a rush of warmth and happiness coursing through you. “Yeah, it really was.”

“Can we do that again?” he asked, a playful glint in his eye, and you couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm.

“Definitely,” you replied, heart racing with a mix of excitement and newfound affection.

With a grin, he leaned in again, capturing your lips with his, and you both fell into the rhythm of each other’s movements, the kiss growing more confident this time. It was a sweet, tender connection that spoke of the trust and understanding you’d built, a promise of what was to come.

As you pulled away again, your cheeks flushed, you couldn’t help but laugh at how easy it felt, how natural. “I can’t believe we waited this long,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I know, right?” Sunoo replied, still beaming. “But I’m glad we finally did.” He paused, a seriousness creeping into his expression. “I really like you, you know. I’ve wanted to say it for a while, but I didn’t want to scare you off.”

You felt your heart swell at his words, and you smiled softly. “You didn’t scare me off, Sunoo. If anything, you made me realize how much I needed you in my life.”

He grinned, his eyes sparkling with joy. “Then let’s keep making these memories, yeah? I want to know everything about you. All the good stuff and the not-so-good stuff. I want to be the one you trust.”

“Deal,” you replied, feeling a wave of warmth wash over you. “And I’ll try to be more open, I promise.”

“Good,” he said, and with a playful nudge, he added, “And maybe I’ll even get you to smile more often.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that broke through. “Maybe. But only if you keep being so ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous is my specialty,” he laughed, and as the two of you settled into a comfortable silence, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for this new chapter in your life—a chapter filled with laughter, trust, and the thrill of discovering each other.