#which are shared by so many of the other places ive been recently

[arisingonmorningsinnocent]

idk which school/hospital/library/corporate office needs to hear this but your bathroom facilities need to have doors that lock and toilets and sinks that consistently work and soap and towel dispensers that are consistently stocked and floors with undamaged tile that people can safely walk or roll a wheelchair over and there need to be grab rails and hooks for basic accessibility functions and there needs to be a gender-neutral bathroom that people can access without requesting a key or climbing seven flights of stairs with no elevator and there needs to be a safe place for women who cannot undress in the same room as a man to change and there need to be sanitary bins for disposing of menstrual supplies and there needs to not be broken glass just left on the floor for weeks at a time literally ever and yes, all of this costs money, but it is actually a good use of funds to make sure people can physically be in the building where your organization is located without compromising their health or safety or dignity. institutional recognition of the needs of the human body or i kill you!!

[evansbby]

an update from me :)

hey everyone, i know i haven’t been very active on here lately. and the reason is because a lot of things in my life have changed. i’ve been debating even sharing this but i feel like i’m in a good enough position to be okay with sharing it.

so these past two years, i had been super active on here (late 2022- early 24) and that was because, well, I didn’t really have anything else. that’s because I had graduated in 2022 and then i just couldn’t find a job in my field. like so many other recent graduates, it was just so hard and tough and it really made me lose all faith in myself.

i found myself to be in the worst mental state i had ever been. I cut myself off from my friends, felt like a burden towards my family, was having meltdowns and panic attacks almost daily, even started eating unhealthily and was just overall in a very bad place.

HOWEVER, i always felt like I could come on tumblr and that’s why i was so active and writing all these stories because honestly, they were almost like a crutch to me. like the ONE thing i had to look forward to in life during those times was the feedback I’d get when i posted a fic, and honestly it’s what kept me going. like i swear to god, on some days this blog and community was the only thing that i had to look forward to and keep me going, and writing felt like such a huge escape.

because i felt so USELESS. like i was wasting my life and not making any money or being able to kickstart my career after uni, and that it would be like this forever, so when I was writing it actually felt like I was doing something with a purpose. honestly on some days I would literally wake up early and go sit in Starbucks all day just writing my fics like i was cosplaying working or something just so I’d have a purpose. (I don’t go to Starbucks anymore lol boycott)

anyways, i never shared this on tumblr these past few years bc you guys don’t understand what a failure i felt like. i would sometimes get asks on here asking what i did for a job and I’d feel so embarrassed of my current state of being unable to find a job when it felt like everyone else who had graduated with me had one and obtained one so easily. like i felt ASHAMED.

i remember once i got an ask asking what my job was and I just said “fashion marketing” bc that was one of the things i wanted to do and id done an internship in that field so i just put that but it was a LIE i was unemployed and the most depressed ive been in my whole life but I thought maybe i could manifest it.

ANYWAYS, and you’ve probably already guessed it, but the reason I’m not so active anymore is because I did eventually find a job. a really good one that I’m enjoying so much and I’m so happy at. Finally, I’m feeling like myself again, like I’m living that life in London as a twenty something that I’d see everyone on tiktok living!! Like I’m finally just having fun, going out with friends, being active, having money to spend on fun things etc.

and it feels so surreal and crazy because when i was depressed and jobless, it made me doubt myself so much. Like the constant rejections and failed interviews made me doubt myself and lowered my self esteem so much and I thought I’d NEVER achieve this life that i have now! And I don’t want to jinx it but I literally thank God every day for finally granting me this because I really feel like I would’ve gotten worse and worse and IDEK.

But back to the main point, and so because of my new job I just don’t have that much time for tumblr anymore. But this isn’t a goodbye post… not at all! I find that when I’m super busy in life is also when I get the most motivated to write! Like for example in summer 2022 I was on here so much and that was the summer I had the most fun, was the most busy. I think when I’m busy in life, I get motivated to write.

Which I believe is the case right now, because I’m SO motivated to complete all my stories, I keep thinking about them and writing them slowly, so please don’t think anything is abandoned! I just wanted to make this post to be more transparent about what’s been going on in my life and what had been going on these past two years. That maybe someone else going through something similar can see that eventually, everything does work out.

Anddd I don’t really know how to end this. I just want to say, yall don’t understand just how thankful I am for having this blog, this platform, to write my stories. For having you guys. Because who knows how much worse my mental state would’ve been these past two years when I didn’t have ANYTHING else going for me, if I hadn’t had this blog it would’ve been so much worse.

Thank you so much for believing in me and enjoying my stories and always always letting me know how much you enjoy them. And I’ll say the truth; I know everyone says that engagement on tumblr has been bad lately but I can say that bc of you guys I have literally never EVER had this issue. And that’s not me being big headed, that’s just the truth and it makes me so happy and grateful. Yall always came through for me and still do now! Every time I think my fic is going to flop, you guys come through for me. I appreciate it so much. You guys have no idea how much you helped me when I was at my lowest. And continue to.

Many thanks

Me 🩷🩷🫶🏼🫶🏼

[awkwardarmadildo]

to add on to the humans are space orcs/earth is the universe's australia, sensing. my therapist has recently explained that its not normal the way i know who and where someone is by their footsteps. not just the sound, but the vibrations. if someone isnt purposely walking on light feet, i can tell who and where they are, even with headphones blaring. imagine a human on a ship and the awe-filled terror itd earn from their non-human crewmates.

edit: ive realized i wasnt clear enough in my intentions. im not saying "if you can tell peoples footsteps apart, youve been ✨️ T R A U M A T I Z E D ✨️ d-(^♡^)-b ". its about the inherent panic in Not hearing the steppies and therefore Not having the time to prepare yourself for whoever might be approaching and essentially being ambushed. also, being able to tell if someone is normalTM, happy, sad, et cetera. the combined terror of not being given time to make oneself "presentable" for whoevers coming, And Also whoever has just seemingly teleported is fucking pissed, which is never good. Anyways, enjoy!!! ＼(^o^)／

Gilith enters the library, searching for Human Raven. They seem to be found most often either here or in one of the many gardens on the ship. Human Alex said he'd likely find them here today.

Gilith pokes his head through the doorway, not seeing Human Raven, but before he can move on, a voice calls out from one of the high-backed chairs decorating the library.

"Hello Lithy, what do you need?"

Gilith sputters, "Wha- Human Raven, how did you know it was me?" Gilith makes his way over to the chair that held Human Raven in a twisted knot that, when Human Raven stood up, would surely leave a horrifying crunch Human Alex had likened to a human candy that exploded in one's mouth.

"You've got some loud stompers, Lithy."

"I do not know what that means, Human Raven."

Raven stands, causing Gilith to flinch at many snaps and crackles of their bones settling into place, and smiles up at his towering form.

"What did you need?"

Gilith notices more and more Human Raven's greetings. He thought maybe they could hear him coming, but they greeted him while wearing ear speakers, the volume so loud, Gilith could hear it from a few feet away.

Humans did not have psychic skills, and the only other human who seemed capable of a preemptive greeting was Human Alex. The two seemed to share all of their off-hours, so maybe that was where he could find his answers.

Gilith scoured the many gardens, stopping just outside of the doorway. He could hear Human Alex and Human Raven chattering to each other, but neither seemed to notice his presence.

In an attempt not to disturb them, he walked with what Human Bea had described as "tip-toes". A challenging feat, considering his round flat feet, but he managed.

Both Human Raven and Human Alex had their backs to him, so he coughed in the same way Human Bea often did to get everyone's attention.

The reaction he got was unexpected when both Human Raven and Human Alex flinched so hard their shoulders seemed to lock.

"My apologies! I didn't mean to startle you," he rushed over, but stopped short when they both flinched again. He recoiled his hand.

"It's ok, Lithy," Raven says, voice slightly choked. "Just give us a sec."

"Oh. Okay." Gilith turned his eyes down.

"What-" Alex started, his voice sounding as though it was rubbed raw. He cleared his throat and tried again. "What can we do for you, Gilith?"

"I did not have anything specific to talk to you about. I wanted to..." he trails off. "I wanted to inform you of the new plants we are picking up at the next trade planet."

Gilith feels his face twist with the lie, but now didn't seem like a good time to ask.

His desire to understand, however, doesn't fade after the incident. It only makes his hunger grow.

Instead of bothering Human Alex or Human Raven, Gilith decides to ask Human Bea, who does not sense him before he greets her.

"Hello, Human Bea."

"Yes, hello, Gilith. Is everything okay?"

"I have question."

Bea tilts her head. "Ask away."

"Are you- humans- able to detect someone before you see them?"

Bea's face softens into an aching sort of frown. "Not naturally."

"What do you mean?"

She takes a breath, seemingly preparing herself. "Well, most people are able to live in a relatively safe place. But some people aren't as lucky. Some people have to memorize the falls of others' feet. It's a learned survival tactic."

"I don't understand," Gilith says, his face wrinkling in confusion.

"Some people aren't safe, so for the ones who weren't born with the good luck of a safe home, they have to know who and where someone is. They have to know if they need to hide or prepare themself. They have to know if they're in danger or not."

Gilith feels his whole body go slack as a wave of sadness washes over him at the memory of Human Raven and Human Alex's reaction to his sudden appearance.

"I have loud stompers."

Bea's face scrunches up as though she's trying not to laugh. "You do. You have safe stompers, too."

[ghostboneswrites2]

Arrowhead Jr ||One Shot

New account! @ghostbones was banned! Transferring all my work here slowly!

Summary: Daryl has baby fever

This was a request on my old blog: "ever since i saw daryl holding baby judith ive dreamt about him having absolute baby fever w reader and after babysitting him pestering reader about one?"

18+ MDNI || WARNINGS: Profanity, birth, babies, mostly fluffy

        "Check this out." Daryl said excitedly, holding up a camo onesie he found. You were on a small run with a few others in search of some new clothes for little Judith, since she had outgrown most of the ones she had. 

        "This is for newborns." You told him, taking the tiny outfit out of his hands.

        "I know.." He shrugged, taking it back and setting it down. 

        "Oh, god. Don't start." You begged. "Not again."

        You had been with him since the prison, after Woodbury fell. You were one of the many refugees Rick had taken in after the town fell apart, and the archer took a liking to you from the beginning. You guessed it was partially due to your friendship with his morally-gray brother before his unfortunate passing, but it was mostly just because you were you. He loved you for it. However, recently, with the safety of Alexandria's walls, he somehow caught one of the scariest diseases; Baby Fever. Especially after the two of you spent a day watching her so Rick could work and Carl could go do normal teenager things for a change.

        "Not startin' nothin." He mumbled.

        "No, but you're doing that thing again!" You argued.

        "What?" He shrugged.

        "That! The sad face and the--"

        "That place is perfect." He explained. "The--"

        "I know, I know. The big walls and the pretty houses and the people and the--"

        "I see you with Judith. I see how you look at her, how you rub her nose to get her to fall asleep and all them lil songs ya sing when she cries."

        "So what are you saying?"

        "Just that we could." He admitted. 

        "Just 'cause we could doesn't mean we should." You sighed

        "I know that, it's just... I wanna."

        "Well that's easy to say when you don't have to carry and birth a child to get one." 

        "Forget it." He huffed.

        The rest of the trip was in silence, and not the comfortable kind you so often shared. You were both frustrated. Him, because ever since he held Judith for the first time, when he fed her that first meal she ever had and felt the rush of nurturing a crying, sweet little baby, a hole formed inside him and it grew bigger every day. He never could have seen himself as a family man before that moment, but ever since, it was a primal urge he couldn't resist. To love a woman, to father a child, to protect and provide for his own family. He had already achieved finding a woman worth his affections, which was you, of course, but he still didn't have his own family and it ate him up.

        Your frustrations were sourced elsewhere, though. For one, giving birth sounded absolutely terrifying, especially in a world lacking in hospitals, epidurals, prenatal and postpartum care. You could handle a fair amount of pain, but birth was an entirely different playing field. Not to mention the risks. You had heard what happened to Judith's mom. How could you risk that? How could he expect you to? And that was just the tip of the iceberg. What kind of world would this be for a child? What kind of life would it have? Alexandria was always too good to be true, and sooner or later something would happen, and you'd all be running for your lives again. It was only a matter of time, to you. To be pregnant would mean no more runs, no more fighting, none of the things that made you useful. You'd just be a big burden with swollen ankles.

        You didn't speak when you all arrived back home, or during dinner, or after. It wasn't until you went to take a shower, until you had already stripped down and stepped into the steamy stream of water. He had silently snuck into the bathroom, undressed, and surprised you by pulling the curtain aside and joined you. You had your back turned to him, allowing the water to rush over you and wash away your racing thoughts. He grabbed the bar of soap and lathered it in his hands until he was satisfied, then he began to wash you. You loved when he did that, it was one of your favorite affections he'd show. He always started by massaging your neck and shoulders, then your back, then your arms, and he'd turn you around and work on the front. With little explanation needed, that was his favorite part.

        "Can we at least think about it?" He finally asked, eyes and hands stationed on your bare skin as you watched his face.

        "We can think about it all we want but it doesn't change anything."

        "But this place is safe. And there's a doctor here. And-- Hell, this house alone is more than either of us could've given a kid before the world turned to shit." He argued. You sighed.

        "I just can't shake the feeling that none of this is permanent." You confessed. He stopped washing you for a moment, considering your concerns.

        "What else?" He asked.

        "What else what?"

        "The other reasons. What else?"

        "This place could fall."

        "Don't mean it will."

        "The doctor could die."

        "I'll make sure he don't."

        "There could be complications."

        "That's what the doctor's for."

        "I can't help on runs or fight or--"

        "Got plenty of people that can do that."

        You took a breath. Was he gonna have a rebuttal to each argument you made?

        "Well," you said, "pregnancy makes us crazy."

        "You're already crazy." He smirked. You rolled your eyes.

        "What about medicine? Epidural? You need and anesthesiologist for that and we don't have that which means I'll feel everything and it's gonna hurt!" You rambled. His smirk grew into an amused grin. "What?" You scoffed.

        "You're scared." He said.

        "So what if I am? I should be. You should be. I could die. The baby could die. It could die down the line when we can't protect it--"

        "Now you just insult me. I'd never let a damn thing happen to you or that kid." He snapped. You gritted your teeth together.

        "You can't control everything. What about childbirth? Women died during birth when there were teams of doctors and surgeons. What about now?"

        "You wont." He shook his head. 

        "Why would you want a baby with me anyways?" You groaned. "I don't even like kids!"

        "Now that's just lyin' to yourself, darlin'."

        "Is not!" 

        "Might've been able to convince me if you never let me see you with Lil Ass Kicker, but you're a natural."

        "Jesus. Are you gonna give our baby weird nicknames too?" You asked as the two of you switched sides in the shower so you could was him too.

        "Our baby?" He repeated. You eyes widened.

        "Hypothetically." You corrected. "Our maybe, hypothetical, improbable baby."

        "Nah, I was thinkin' Arrowhead Jr for ours."

        You couldn't help it, you laughed.

        "You're insane." You shook your head, massaging his shoulder with the suds.

        "Look," he sighed. "I'm not gettin' any younger and I want a family. I already got the girl, now I need the girl to have my babies."

        "Babies?!" You gawked. "How many do you expect me to have? I'm not a damn fetus factory I can't just spread my legs and pop them out on a fucking conveyor belt." 

        "I was thinkin' two."

        "Two." You repeated, hoping that hearing the word from someone else would wake him up, maybe make him understand how ludicrous he sounded.

        "Mhm." 

        Guess not.

        "Two!" You said again. "Two babies that you want me to grow and birth."

        "Yep."

        "Do you know what you're asking me to do?"

        "Yeah." He said, turning around to face you. "I'm askin' you to be the mother of my kids and spend the rest of your life with me."

        "Um, the rest of your life. Women live longer than men, statistically speaking."

        "Then think about it. Make the rest of my life mean somethin'."

        "Ugh." You growled. You really weren't going to win this one, no matter how hard you fought. "If you wanted kids so bad why didn't you find someone who had the same goal?"

        "Don't want no one else. Just you."

        "And a kid."

        "Two kids."

        "Let's start with one." You relented.

        He grabbed your face as soon as you spoke the words and kissed you excitedly.

        "Better start workin' on it then." He said, lifting you off the ground and pressing your back to the wall. Things only got steamier from there, and not because of the hot shower.

----

        "Shit!" You whispered, staring down at the third test you'd taken. "Shit shit shit shit!"

        To say it was panic would be an understatement. It was sheer terror. You guessed you knew this was coming but you weren't ready for it yet. The only solace you found was the fact that Daryl would be home soon, and you'd get to see his face light up when you handed him not one, not two, but three positive pregnancy tests.

        He came home shortly after you wiped your tears and pulled yourself together. You were in the kitchen making him a pot of coffee, one that you'd usually share. Yet another thing you wouldn't be able to do for the next nine months.

        You heard the door open, you heard him kick his boots off and set them by the door, and you heard him greet you as he entered the kitchen.

        "Hey." He said casually as you turned to hand him a steamy mug of black coffee, just how he liked it.

        "Hey." You replied, sitting down at the table across from where he took his usual seat. He gave you a weird look when he sat down. He could read you like an open book, and there was very obviously something going on with you that day.

        "No coffee?" He asked, taking a sip of his own. You shook your head. "You okay?" You shrugged. "Talk to me." He said.

        You decided to let him see for himself as you failed to form the words. You were terrified for a lot of reasons, but most of all your pride wouldn't let you say the words, because as much as you hated to admit it, you were also happy. You were happy to make him happy, and you were excited to have someone else to love.

        You reached in your pocket and set the first test on the table. He stopped blowing on his coffee and stared at it for a moment before looking back to you. Then, you set the second one down. He pushed his eyebrows together, either out of confusion or shock, you weren't sure. Then you slapped the third test down beside the first two. He set his coffee down and stood, leaning over them to examine them. You realized he probably didn't know what a single line versus a double line meant, so you gave him a second to read the tests before he reacted.

        The second it hit him it showed. His head snapped up at you, eyes wide.

        "F'real?" He asked quietly. You nodded once and he rushed over to your side, gripping your cheeks between his hands and kissing you over and over and over. You couldn't help but chuckle as you tried to push him back.

        "Oxygen, Daryl!" You giggled. "The baby needs to breathe!"

        "C'mon. We gotta go tell Carol. And Rick. And Glenn. And Maggie." He rambled on and on, adding names as they popped in his head while he pulled you to your feet and ushered you to the door.

        "Daryl!" You protested. "Wait I need shoes!"

---

        You could barely hear Carol as she coached you through pushing with each contraction. The pain was insane and Daryl's hand was probably broken after you had been squeezing it so hard. Denise, the new doctor after Rick may or may not have killed the last one, was also talking you through, sending encouraging words as the baby's head made an entrance.

        "Okay. Breathe. Breathe. One more big push." Carol cooed to your right as Daryl encouraged you from the left.

        "C'mon, (Y/N), you're kickin' ass." He said. Admittedly he spent most of the time it took you to get to this point silent, shock written all over his face. He had no idea how to help you through this, he realized, but he fed off Carol's energy and began to give small words of encouragement when he heard Denise say she could see the baby's head.

        When the next contraction hit, you screamed in agony, pushing with all your might, just like Carol told you. 

        "It's just like doing a sit up."

        You could feel when the baby was out, but you were so exhausted your head just fell back on the pillow as you caught your breath. It wasn't until you heard the baby cry that you looked down at Denise to see her wiping the baby clean and wrapping it in a blanket. She walked over and set the baby down on your chest. "Skin to skin contact is important." She told you, before looking over to Daryl. "For you too, if you want to take your shirt off."

        Daryl was too stunned, just watching in awe as you stared down at your crying newborn baby with admiration. It took him a minute, and a little nudge from Carol who had walked over to his side, before he snapped out of it and leaned in close to you. He got a good look at the baby before he asked, "Boy or girl?"

        "Boy." Denise smiled. She was ecstatic, having successfully aided in the birth of your child.

        "We have a son." Daryl laughed, although it was more of a happy cry. He wiped a tear from his eye as he stood up and removed his shirt, holding his arms out in hopes you'd let him hold his boy.

        "Yeah, we do." You grinned, giving your baby a kiss on the head before you passed him over to his father.  Daryl was breathless as he scooped the infant into his arms, bouncing him and whispering sweet nothings.

        "Hey, little Arrowhead." He laughed. He had called him that for the entire pregnancy.

        "I was thinking about naming him (name of your choice). What do you think?" You asked.

        He nodded and kissed little (baby name). 

        "Hey, (baby name). I'm your daddy."

[goodqueenaly]

Which pre/post-Conquest events and in-series events do you think would be popular plays/operas in each of the Seven Kingdoms and Essos?

Well, we do get a bit of a sense of what sort of "history plays" have been written and performed in Braavos (though whether these have been popularized elsewhere in Essos is a bit of a mystery). Arya references the mummers of the Ship teaching her speeches from, among other plays, The Conqueror's Two Wives, presumably about Rhaenys and Visenya Targaryen (which I personally think would be a potentially fascinating study on the respective characters of as well as the relationship between the two sisters). Likewise, in "Mercy", Arya-as-Mercy notes that Izembaro borrows a threat from Prince Garin in Phario Forel's Wroth of the Dragonlords, a play about the doomed final resistance of the Rhoynar against the Valyrian Freehold. Of course, the main action in "Mercy" centers around the staging of Forel's newest work, The Bloody Hand, a play which - obviously more than a little loosely - adapts very recent Westerosi history, staged in that chapter for the entertainment of the Baratheon-Lannister court's envoy, Harys Swyft.

Westeros doesn't appear to have exactly the same theatrical tradition Braavos seems to have, but there are certainly both puppet shows and mummer's plays performed across the Seven Kingdoms. While the specific entertainments we've seen have been limited to either mythological (the story of Florian the Fool) or allegorical (the unsubtle tale of the kingdom of beasts reported by Qyburn to Cersei) subject matter, there might nevertheless be any number of opportunities for historical events to, no pun intended, take center stage. There are way, way too many historical events and figures in the roughly eight millennia of Westeros' existence as a collection of political entities (again, to say nothing of Essos), so these ideas are not even scratching the surface, but I thought I would come up with a few.

So, for example, the accusations against Queen Naerys and Prince Aemon (perhaps complete with a Katherine of Aragon-like defense by the queen) might mirror, say, Henry VIII. The collapse of the Gardener kingdom under the weak and ineffective Garth X, followed by a devastating civil war, feels to me like an opportunity for a Reach version of Henry VI (perhaps echoed with the Dance of the Dragons, many centuries later). Even the story of Torgon Greyiron might have its share of light Hamlet parallels, as the story of a royal son quasi-usurped from his royal place by the wicked murderer of his kinsmen while he was away from his homeland (though with Torgon having something of a more fortunate ending than Hamlet himself, naturally). Not, of course, that we need to limit our imaginations only to perfect parallels of Shakespeare plays (to say nothing of any other history playwrights). Benedict Justman, for one, seems like a figure whose life could be used to ask deep questions on, say, the nature of power, the importance of love versus duty, and the importance (or not) of legitimacy. The flight of the Manderlys from the Reach and their welcome by the Starks might likewise be used by some enterprising playwright to explore themes of justice (and injustice), alienation, and self-identity.

And of course, what entertainments might be popular would likely be dependent on the politics of any given time and/or place. Would, say, plays depicting King Ronard Storm have been popularized during the reign of King Aegon IV or King Daeron II - maybe to denounce Ronard's reign as defined by lasciviousness and resistance to lawful authority (as with Aegon's), but maybe also to depict a bastard as a stronger and more worthy heir than his legitimate half-brother (if, say, the play was written by Blackfyre partisans)? Perhaps in the immediate aftermath of Robert's Rebellion, Riverlands playwrights would have looked for inspiration to the heroic uprising of Edmyn Tully against the wicked tyrant Harren Hoare (though perhaps with less emphasis placed on the king rewarding Edmyn being the first of the recently overthrown Targaryen dynasty). Daeron I's conquest of Dorne might have encouraged pro-conquest playwrights to create works about King Durran the Young, whose similar name, apparently similar youth, and very bloody military campaigns against Dornish armies might have made a natural comparison for these creators (though probably less so the idea that King Durran supposedly "became besotted with his own niece in later life and died at the hands of his brother Erich Kin-Killer").

Personally, I would love to see more fanfic invent plays or similar entertainments from Westerosi history. I, of course, would be remiss not to note my own, albeit very humble attempt at a Westerosi history play, The True History of the Blackfyre Rebellion. (And please no one remind me that I have a second play that I probably have to completely rework and is certainly nowhere close to being done.)

[sillyfucker]

I haven’t posted on here yet so hello!!! i’m here to speak about the whole entire drama involving blood.plague/toby!

Toby is a creepypasta cosplayer who is known for his toby rodger’s cosplays, recently there has been a drama involving him and his server. fake allegations have been thrown around calling him a ‘gr00mer’ over out of context images. what are these images you may ask? sexual and consented jokes between his friends. this whole entire situation would’ve been alot calmer if it was discussed privately. i won’t name names but some large content creator posted about this rather than discussing it in dms, which led to toby being doxxed.

i’m mainly here to speak out about this and share my side ans interactions with plague (against these allegations) 😼

3-4 months ago, plague dmed me on tiktok and personally invited me to his server, the creepypasta server is great, genuienly i love it, i’ve made so many friends there. ive had many interactions with plague and he’s VERY good with boundaries. i don’t exactly know if im friends with plague or not because i have a hard time with it, but we’ve had enough interactions to know that he would NEVER do anything like this.

he’s very adoment on making people comfortable since he didn’t want things like this to happen.

it’s absoloutely disgusting how he would be doxxed over disproven allegations. how bored do you have to be in your life to genuinely doxx somebody over nothing.

the situation was delt appallingly by the content creator who posted him. she had basically demonised his disorder, been abelist, publically called out a 13/14 year old to her younger and immature audience. she should of never posted videos in the first place and delt with it like an adult. not a child. she’s a grown adult and still delt with it like an immature child.

only evidence that makes toby a supposed groomer is him saying he would JOKINGLY ‘wrap his feet around someone to keep them warm’ that’s literally it. only other supposed proof is him being ‘flirty’ was towards adults who consented.

i hate drama. everyone hates drama. there was no need for all of this to be a massive deal. it could’ve been solved in dm’s.

(p.s. i’m very sorry for the shit writing!! i’m very nervous and have not really done anything like this before! + i am very tired 😭)

[vechter]

thoughts on girldad dick grayson? god it holds such a special place in my heart i could talk about it for agess! also i think dick wanting to start a family eventually but his life always being too "unstable" is really interesting. dc had SO MANY opportunities to give this man a daughter but its only canon in elseworlds! i dont wanna take away from roys whole shtick but dick having daughters would be such a fun direction to go in if its written while. like he would definitely mess up and have a lot of problems but he would love with his whole heart. a fic ive always wanted to read is a different ending with sophia or even dick getting to keep the grayson desert baby and raising it like ahhh chewing on my nails.

also any headcanons on dick + rose + sophia or dick and olivia desmond or the grayson desert baby? BASICALLY ANY HCS OF DICK WITH A DAUGHTER(S) AAA.

ur gonna wanna kill me for this but in most of my imaginings before n52, a biological daughter is not in the cards for dick. one of my fav headcanons for dick is long-term consequences of being at ground zero during chemo (briefly talk about this here). so, a possible consequence for that is sterility. i need him to have crazy feelings about being the last flying grayson.

but to answer your question properly, i think dick adopting a girl could be soooo interesting if done by someone other than taylor (olivia desmond who). just look at how hard his dynamic goes with sophia tevis.

if we veer into headcanon territory for this:

one of my fav ideas would be dick keeping in touch with sophia after blüdhaven got nuked (briefly talk about this here). possibly during the one year later arc... maybe he takes sophia to new york with him (instead of his no stakes arc of being on yachts with tim & bruce lol). he doesn't send her to boarding school immediately and instead, they spend time trying to recover from the shit-show their lives have been recently.

oooh, maybe a rlly fun arc where sophia gets past her hero worship/crush and properly considers dick's role in what happened to her family... which wars with how much she knows he cares about her (how he visited her at the halfway house, how he saved her from chemo, how he made sure she healed from the radiation). shared grief over how their fathers loved them but often failed them.

you can have some great rose stuff here too. instead of joining the teen titans, she follows dick to new york and ends up becoming a regular presence in his shitty little apartment where she bullies dick about how he lives. she gets to know sophia and comes to care for her. maybe a kidnapping plot where she's the one who saves sophia from some mobsters who didn't get the tevis family memo.

a lot of bullying from the og titans (esp donna and roy who are also in new york) about dick essentially parenting two teenage girls. at dick's insistence, rose hesitantly reaches out to people she sort of let down during her evil era but only after she pulls an uno reverse on dick saying she'll only do it if he does it. she mocks him a lot by calling him 'renegade'. it never fails to make sophia laugh who calls him 'crutches' occasionally too.

sophia eventually joins a public high school in new york. dick and rose make rlly embarrassing banners for her graduation only for sophia to mock them saying wow look at how much you care... aren't you embarrassed?

also, i love the desert baby arc soooo much but i think the weight of dick saving this little girl + all the costs he bore to make that happen... is much more impactful if he never meets her again. maybe he does occasionally check up on how she's doing (is she loved? is she safe?) but only from a distance. the people who adopt her often get random tidbits of information about raising a meta-human and the family collectively refers to dick as their guardian angel.

i would be remiss if i didn't mention mar'i grayson bc she had me hooked with just that cameo in titans '99.

ur right anon... dick should be a girldad.

[stateswscarlet]

Hi!! thanks to you and your threads i finally manifested my sp after (wait for it…. this will be long!!!)

3 years of separation and 1 year of no contact!!!!!!!!!!!!

let this me a reminder to anyone out there struggling or thinking time matters. i was in such a lack state for years and had horrible things happen between sp and i but im telling you i took a healthy way to do this and remembered theres nothing i can do to “make” it happen. i reread so many of your threads and read edward art series from a new set of eyes and decided to calmly shift my state ONCE without the expectation of perfection, making something happen, waiting for the 3D, etc (all of which I did unfortunately for a year and a half and never manifested anything “big”) i just shifted my state FOR me 100%. in that moment i didn’t even care about sp, about 3d, about reflecting, heck i didnt even care if i shifted states right. i just DID IT. now ik what you and alia meant by “just do it” because THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.

anyways after i shifted my state (probably for the first or for real this time in my whole journey), i felt nothing unusual or different in a huge way (coz why would i? if im with sp i wont feel special all day) and i KID YOU NOT SCAR I think it was like maybe 3-4 hours later he (sp) CALLED me on “accident” THREE times. I was so confused as I didn’t have his number saved yet as I recently got a new phone, but then I got a text from him saying it was *his name* and if this number still belongs to me. I didn’t even panic or freak out or even think “omg i manifested this bc of my state!” i just approached it normally and replied saying it was my number. He then told me “suddenly” he keeps getting reminded of me and has been missing me for a while and wanted to see me. We decided to catch up after uni last weeks monday and it was SO GOOD. he “changed” in good ways and yes i will admit it was awkward at first because we hadn’t talked in so long nor been alone with each other but that went away so fast!!!! we kept seeing each other daily for a week and he confessed he likes me a lot, and I did too and told him ive been missing him. he said nothing ever compared to me and that the breakup hit him hard but he hid it from me. he said he has been missing me for a year now (proof that i actually shifted states and dealt with a “new” sp because a year ago he told me he dislikes me, is completely over the relationship and told me to move on because it had been 2 years at that point and he was thinking of seeing someone else). this week on wednesday he took me on a date to our old special place in my city and officially asked me to be his girl!!!!!!

so from shifting my state ONCE and all the way to relationship it took a little under 2 weeks.

oh also - just because in my story i only shifted my state properly once dont mean anyone else is wrong for doing it multiple times!!! a KEY part of the law is knowing that WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU AND IS NATURAL TO YOU IS WHAT WILL “WORK”. whatever YOU ENJOY imagining is what will shift your state!!!! STOP trying to do everything and worry about stuff thats not yours to worry about and JUST IMAGINE.

thank you again to the loa/ss community and especially you Scar!!! I will most likely still be lurking and supporting you and my other favourites on twt but not as active anymore ;)

OMGGG CONGRATS ANONNNN 🥳 🎉🎊👏🏻🪅

this makes me sooo happy and proud thank you for sharing your success and how you did it!

[mariatesstruther]

I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.

I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?

okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go

i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie

ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves

shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.

i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut

ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay

ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is

okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec

y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man

we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could

point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show

tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”

tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for

and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)

but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love

so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is

again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do

but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE

so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive

and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????

so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY

we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.

(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)

and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming

so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)

AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy

the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too

so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.

i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????

it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda

but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”

WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES

maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to

so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks about maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi Ms PMD9🌸a lot of wild stuff has been happening in my life lately but it's in a good way I feel? I could never find the time to slow down for my usual hobbies because I've been so.. interested in what I'm doing IRL which is pretty e.O. Quite a new emotion for me! I started college a few weeks back & have been slowly getting out of my shell & just did a handful of days ago! :-) I was feeling pretty lonely in campus & felt a bit lost in what to do so I turned to my tarot deck & knowing her, she just gave me more confirmation for my intuition on what I needed to do (which is just to reach out first).

As a guy who doesn't typically do that sort of thing, it felt ...Nerve wracking but I eventually did to the first guy who came into mind out of all the people in my block & it went pretty well! It's only now that I understand how good it feels to take control of your life because, well... you're the one who's living it so might as well. It's only in recent years that I realized I let relationships happen to me so stepping out of that circle was a "woah" moment.

I know the people around me there are likeminded people considering the course I chose, it's just that I haven't gotten to know them very well yet(& the fact that we see each other in-person twice a week isn't helping lol), so I want to take more steps forward, even if I'm a bit late in doing so. I trust that where I am is a place for me to grow more as an individual & in situations like these, I could feel it.

this makes me happy 😭🙏 thanku for sharing your good life progress w me... At the end you said you think you're a bit late in doing stuff like this but no need to be hard on yourswlf i dont think thats true : ) Many people of all ages struggle to reach out & initiate social activities , it can get hard once ur older too And no longer in a setting like school so i think youre right on track 👍

its inspiring ur taking initiative and recognizing the power to shape your life comes from You first ^_^ Enjoying irl is the most important its why ive not been online lately i feel kind of bad cus i hope no one on here thinks i am a neglectful friend/mutual i just really want to make sure im enjoying being presence. A lot of stuff has been happening in a upward spiral for me too since i been taking control of my reality So i relate to this message a lot even if we are at fdifferent stages in life 🐎

Keep doing your think and following your intuition ➡️ Never be afraid to make the first move ;D Thankyou again for messaging 🪷 idk why im answering at 1am but i hope ur having a pleasant eclipseful night Anon 🌕💛 PMD9!

[dramarising-replacement]

Perma-Bans, Petty Bans, and Poor Appeal Process

Recently I had my account banned for multi accounting. Now why would I be so pissed about this? Because the alt I had made was because of lost credentials and never interacted with the actual account I have, abandoned with literally two dragons in the lair the instant I got the creds for my real account back. But the account in itself isn’t where my peeve comes in. It’s the permanent ban of an active account after an alt was made two years prior. How was this alt found, you wonder? I sent a ticket in with the wrong email linked to my primary account asking about something related to copyright of FR on an upcoming project of mine. Okay that’s a little strange that I only got banned after I asked a question like that specifically, surely the appeal process will go fine when I provide context? Wrong! Even accused of funneling in the process (didn’t happen). What happens when the ticket staff are asked for receipts of said funneling? Permanent denial of response and ban stays in place. It genuinely goes over my head how genuinely abhorrent the process for handling potential multi-accounting is. I have met many people who have gotten away with very blatant funneling and multi accounting and willingly admitted it but are able to explain it away by lying in regards to something like siblings with shared devices. Even people who I personally have reported for funneling with verifiable evidence go untouched. How is this such a frequent issue? And why is it that people who make the most minor mistake of happening to make an account under a lost creds context gets all of their money and work zapped from them when people who do much worse in regards to TOS get off free? How is there no nuance to these situations by now? Are the staff just that petty and unwilling to work with the literal community that funds them? Why would making an account with zero work, interacts, etc be a constitution for a permanent account closure? Do the staff just not realize there is more punishment options than ‘oh you know what you lose it all, fuck you’? They have the ability to actually see context as clear by their forums punishment system, but refuse to take any strike actions on something with valid context? There’s so many other things that could be done, temporary bans, lockdowns on CR/AH, etc. But that’s just too difficult for them huh? What’s the damn point of the appeal function if they don’t actually bother to reconsider a choice? You cannot tell me either that gimmick accounts like nuzlocke form accounts aren’t also Alts. You would be a liar, and you would also be lying if you said that people don’t often make alts for ‘new starts. It’s honestly kind of funny at this point how many people ive heard the stories from who either got perm banned because they made an alt when they were like 14 and got banned 5 years later and stories of people actively funneling in major ways but haven’t been banned for years. The issue is so fuckin prevalent and yet half the time a ban happens because of it it’s for the most minor version of the rule break and almost never the people who actually violate the terms. “Economy advantage this, flight forums that” my ass. If the staff can’t hold even a small bit of understanding for such a minor issue which context resolves, maybe they don’t deserve the use of their site at all. Half the time I’ve seen staff interact with people they’re unbelievably rude and petty, especially Aequorian or whatever their name is. Always have to have a last laugh. But I digress. Maybe I’ll come back to my little account in 5 years time and appeal again and get denied. Kinda weird to think the accounts that had so much genuine time and effort dedicated into them are forced to rot for longer than they were ever active because of a faulty term of service and faulty enforcement of it.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

helloo, never done a match up but recently been very obsessed w bg3 so im curious.

its a little hard describing myself since im not so good with words but id say im anxious/awkward but quickly warm up when someone speaks to me. i love teasing my partner and joking with them in a flirty way. my love language is def words of affirmation. my mbti is intp. ive been called very chill & easy to get along with & just someone who will want to listen & help people. although if someone just saw me on the street theyd assume im very reserved & keep to myself. i dont have the best upbringing and definitely had to persevere my way through life & def had a "dark" path i was heading down but now im at a very good place. the only thing that still really affects me is my anxiety and my constant need for reassurance lol. im very gay so i would prefer to be matched with a woman but id also like to see the male match up as well! poly only:)

A/N: Oh my gosh the bg3 obsession is so real though!! Because you wanted to see both your Male and Female answers (being open to a poly interpretation), for you my Anxious/Awkward INTP Anon, I’m thinking Shadowheart (Female) and Halsin (Male) would be your best bets. 

Shadowheart would be a great match for you! Similar to you, she’s not the quickest to speak, preferring to hang back and observe before commenting. However she is quite the wordsmith, and loves teasing her partner with witty banter as well as the occasional suggestive quip. 

Shadowheart may want everyone to think she doesn’t need help or guidance but in reality she’s actually quite insecure and needy, which means she greatly understands your love language of words of affirmation. She’ll remind you as many times as you ask, how she truly feels about you and hopes that you do the same for her. 

As an INTP, you share some similarities to Shadowheart’s ISTJ, although there are a few notable differences. Whereas you are less of a teacher’s pet, Shadowheart is quite by the book. She places an emphasis on following orders, and doing what is expected of her. This may cause some friction, but its actually for the best as your free nature can help untether her from any unhealthy binds or relationships in her life. 

Shadowheart is fairly easy going compared to the other companions. She’d rather watch from a distance than jump right into the fray of a social event. The two of you can linger at the refreshments table together drinking wine and gossiping about the fashion choices of those around you. 

Depending on how her path goes, Shadowheart may also have just found herself steering away from a darkened path. If she becomes a follower of Selune, she’ll view her days worshiping Shar as a mark on her honor and her soul. At the same time, if she becomes a Dark Justicer for Shar, she will view her short period of doubt as a mark on her honor. Either way, Shadowheart knows what it’s like to be headed down the wrong path, and she will hold no grudges against you for it. 

Shadowheart doesn’t suffer from generalized anxiety but she does have a few fears, wolves being amongst them. She does her best to reassure you of your safety, always taking the time to remind you that she is here for you, as you are the woman she loves, and she would move hell and earth for you. 

In a poly relationship (with Halsin, for example), I can see Shadowheart being a little bit more passive aggressive with her banter/word play. Her choice to be coy rears its ugly head every time she feels neglected. Just be sure to include her in your threesome a bit more and everything will go back to normal. 

Halsin would also be a great choice for you! (If you were attracted to men). Hell, even if you’re not, I don’t think that would stop Halsin from shooting his shot, at least once.He’s lived a long time, he knows it’s better to put yourself out there than risk missing out on a true love. 

Halsin doesn’t mind if you’re not great with words, he’d rather his actions speak for himself and others anyway. He’s a very physically attuned person, being a Druid afterall, and as a result, he’s adept at reading body language. Of course being the enormous lover (ahem slut) he is, he lives for your flirty teasing! He’s also a master at getting people flustered. It becomes a competition between you two, who can say the raunchiest thing to make the other person crack first. If you’re in a poly relationship with him and Shadowheart at this point, she, surprisingly, ends up winning this competition, saying things to make you and Halsin blush (and cause a nun to have a heart attack). She’s the undefeated champion really. 

His ENFJ is a good balance to your INTP. He’s an empathetic enough person to be able to understand your need to think things through logically, without getting hurt in the process. And as an extrovert, he can help you navigate social aspects- especially ones where you feel awkward or out of place. 

Halsin understands having to overcome darkness, as he was burdened with the task of solving the Shadow Curse and saving the shadow lands. He has done several things he is not proud of. (It’s actually interesting, in a scrapped storyline for Halsin early-access had him as the one who dealt the killing blow to Isobel, killing her, and unintentionally sparking the Shadow Curse as it was Ketheric’s grief over the death of his daughter that pushed him over the edge.) Halsin does not know if he is worthy of your forgiveness, but he will welcome it nonetheless. He will always remind you how much you mean to him, not only to quell your anxiety but because he truly cares about you that much.  

In a poly relationship with Shadowheart and Halsin, I see you getting all the attention and reassurance you could ever ask for. Shadowheart and Halsin may butt heads occasionally, especially if Shadowheart still worships Shar. (And I mean it would take A LOT to get Halsin back on board with a Shar-worshiping Shadowheart for a life partner.) But for the most part, you’d make up a very witty, naughty little trio. 

A/N 2.0: Ahhh, sorry it took forever to post this. I’ve actually had this mostly done like a month ago but I didn’t want to share it until I could look it over and make sure it sounds right. I hope you liked it, and it was worth the wait. <3

[endcant]

a big reason why i personally respond very strongly and publicly about internet censorship bills is because every tool and support ive ever had to understand my trauma, cope with my mental health issues, historically contextualize my experiences, and become a somewhat functional adult, were all found online. the friends who support me found me online. my ability to do my art business & be my authentic self in the same place at the same time is thanks to the expressive powers of the internet. almost nothing good in my life would have been possible if there was legislation like KOSA enacted when i was a child. which is why i have been openly speaking out against legislation like this ever since i was a child.

one example of the problem here is that the heritage foundation intends to use KOSA as a way to sue websites into censoring information about LGBT+ issues and sex/reproductive health. they said it publicly, and i have no reason to think they’re bluffing. the heritage foundation is also the main party behind Project 2025 (an authoritarian agenda for the U.S. political right published and free to read online). they should be taken seriously because they have proudly played a massive role in deciding what Republican public policy be will be since the Reagan administration. if you are politically active online at all and don’t know whether your most dearly held causes are under threat by this group, type “the heritage foundation’s stance on” into your favorite search engine, take a look at the recommended searches, and get ready to have a very bad time. (…unless you’re one of those rare far-right political users on this site, in which case you’d probably have a pretty good time)

this is happening alongside the recent growth of the “parental rights” movement, whose achievements include promoting book bans, trying to suppress any information they deem to be “Critical Race Theory”, as well as harassing and threatening people for supporting LGBT+ kids. they aim to silence any voices that don’t fall in line with their agenda. moms for liberty is a prominent example of a harmful “parental rights” activist group; they have repeatedly done things like this. i have no doubt that these groups would absolutely utilize KOSA to further prevent children from accessing important educational information.

Rep. Marsha Blackburn, the one of the two legislators who has spearheaded the push to pass this bill through the Senate, is a self identified “hard-core” “politically incorrect” conservative who came into the Senate during the Trump administration. She is also part of the larger Tennesseean right-wing political apparatus that has brought this state wonders like cities where public homosexuality is illegal, and a county where the juvenile detention rate approaches 50%. these people do not care about the wellbeing of children. they are doing awful things here that the majority of tennesseans do not support. there are many other recent, infamous examples of similar state and local human rights failures throughout the US. if you let them have their way, these post-Trump Republicans will do their best to bring this kind of nonsensical, authoritarian governance to the entire country and potentially the rest of the world, given the role that U.S. law plays in the reality of the international internet.

i have been mostly sharing others’ posts and contacting legislators on my own time, but on December 6th, a letter was published in support of KOSA that was signed by 200 organizations— largely mental health and childrens’ health related groups. i believe that far-right political groups will use KOSA to silence the kind of online information that helped me with my own mental health when i was a kid, and that kids are currently relying on today. ultimately, i think it is a shame that these 200 organizations think they can get away with publicly supporting a bill that is so widely criticized and politically fraught.

[minnieposting]

hsr ramblings to get out of my system

sunday and aventurine focused. also about how sunday's totally dying in 2.2. and some other stuff

⚠️lots of talking out of one's own ass⚠️

prefacing this with saying this is just my stream of consciousness tbh, things might be all over the place. i am again literally just talking out of my ass tbh! i love stories and thinking about narrative as a system, so ive been going a lil nuts with penacony and its characters

but i decided to write this because i keep realizing so many things about both sunday and aventurine. i've been making a huge list in my notes and mainly my head about it so lets just get into it...

1. my friend and i were talking about it being hinted that sunday is not his real name. when sunday is first introduced, we have the option to ask if everyone in the family has a strange name. march says it might just be a stage name.

i've seen lots of talk about sunday's connection with dominicus, usually either about sunday actually being him or channeling him somehow. but either way, im very 👀👀

just earlier, i was thinking about how both sunday and aventurine are putting on grand final shows and how they're both bosses. the fact 'stage name' is being used here is very interesting in that case. just something im also very 👀👀 about

2. following up on aventurine and sunday and how they're both bosses putting on a 'show'... im now gonna talk abt their insane similarities and also their opposing traits. i feel like every single similarity i notice is also paired with an opposite

for example, their losses

sunday - older brother, lost his sister + family recently

aventurine - younger brother, lost his sister + family a long time ago

this is actually one of the reasons i think sunday will be gone forever 🫡 with the two of them being opposites, sunday is the older brother who won't survive, while aventurine is the younger brother who did. plus, if aven's sister is dead, and robin ends up being fine, that just further proves to me sunday has to die. theyre flipped!!

along with that, aventurine will come out of this fine, because we know he's blessed and he's said it himself, he always comes out as the final victor, and we see that he's coming out of this with a new reason to keep going. between sunday and aventurine, it's pretty clear who's going to come out on top. speaking in terms of their roles in the narrative again

which makes me curious about sunday's end goal, as we all must be... which brings me to

3. the shared goal of freedom

this actually expands to pretty much everyone. i noticed that freedom is a very big theme in penacony. prisoners were once held there, aventurine is a prisoner himself (both figuratively and literally), the family's shady shit as a whole and how some people are literally just being forced to stay, firefly's whole thing about feeling trapped, so on... and of course, there's aventurine again, with his thoughts of suicide and wanting to be free

a while ago i was thinking about all this in relation to sunday specifically, the family as a whole, and harmony specifically too. to unite as one harmonious beautiful being, free from chaos. i wonder if sunday's boss will be related to freeing people. it's clear he has connections to the order, which also doesn't welcome chaos and strife.

may be totally far fetched especially since the story will be complete in just a few days, but!! sunday boss being meant to get everyone absorbed into the choir, free from all those exact things. i think a lot about how the charmony festival invited out all the factions for the first time, but i'm not sure where to place it. could've just happened because 'the right time has finally come', aka, dominicus' arrival? whatever tho i have other things to talk about that im more excited over. sunday sacrificial lamb vibes? who knows

honorary mention to the siblings maybe feeling trapped by family, or actually straight up being trapped, WHO KNOWS! i dont know anything actually, i've never known a single fact in my life, but i will on may 8

4. more sunday aventurine similarities and opposites

- both described as madmen, sunday literally being told by ratio he needs to see a shrink because he thinks the same way as aventurine

- both extremely logical, always pulling damn tricks up their sleeves, infinite amount of room in those sleeves

- as mentioned before, both lost their sisters, although in a different order. both lost their parents around the same time though

- (from gagwanju on twt) aventurine utilizing and working with those around him to achieve his goal, while sunday has been working alone. again, another thing that makes me think that sunday will be the unsuccessful one in the end. not that sure what i mean by 'unsuccessful' currently, tbh.

- (from someone else on twt but i cant remember or find the post 💀) sunday and aventurine both brought into high institution and forced into a role

i'm getting tired so i'm gonna cut it short here but

honorary mention to yesterday night? where i was thinking about how they both put up fronts. inside, aventurine is tired, fearful. just being a struggler ykyk. sunday is described as having a twisted personality... aka just ocd, and getting worse everyday after losing his sister and being told he can't do anything about it bc charmony festival. ocd makes you have lots and lots of anxiety, so i wonder what's going on underneath. is he the opposite of aventurine in this case? instead of being just Exhausted, he might be fired up completely. an irritable mess, potentially very angry, etc etc, since his grief is so recent. maybe he's experiencing everything aventurine did back when he first lost his sister in particular, since they are two sides of the same coin (AGAIN).

uugjrjajd i feel my brain getting stupider as i type, but the final thing i wanna bring up is the name of the charmony festival. i was just wondering what it could possibly mean, and why it isn't just called the Harmony festival. whats the ch? is it CHARM ony festival? makes sense to me if the choir is just going to hypnotize people and try and absorb everyone, but im not too sure bc the order is also involved here. idk i dont know anything i actually only started playing this game a month ago

ending this with: sorry if i got anything wrong or confused. im very bad at explaining myself properly and may have remembered things wrong but also i have bad anxiety all the time so IDK

these r just stuff ive been brainrotting over for the past week, and its not even everything, i just needed it out of me 😭😭😭 i am very excited for 2.2. didnt even get into all those damn BABY SUNDAY AND ROBIN TRAILER IMPLICATIONS like omfg... goodbye. why is the sunday boss a childhood drawing why did sunday hesitate when saying 'right! both of us' WHAT HAPPENED. i think he knew he was never going to sing with robin, but why???? ahhhdhdbf

to those who may have read all of this.... DAMN i cant believe u did that, fun fact scallops have eyes

omg... editing this a while after posting, but i totally forgot about the lore of the xipe emanators, and how they can assume the form of any family member when necessary???? not sure where to place that in ^^^^ all that, but something i just wanted to add in... ACKNOWLEDGED.......... 2.2 is going to be a wild ride. hwat the fuck do u mean they can just do that.

[oh-my-may]

HELLOOOOOOO

Very quickly I wanted to share some thoughts on Wuthering Waves so far.

I have completed the main quest up to act IV and I think it goes up to 6 in total? So I am more than halfway done with what the main story has to offer so far. I must say, although it does follow the typical anime rpg plot of recent games, I have been enjoying it!

It took me the first two chapters of the story to get behind all the game specific terms like Resonator, Tacet Fields and Discords etc. but I think as of right now I'm pretty secure in my knowledge of it.

I don't wanna get too much into the lore yet but there's so many things about the world (Solaris 3, right?) that I do not understand (yet) but given how I still have main story to play through I reckon some of my questions will be answered later. But the first thing is HOW BIG THE MAP IS? I think it might be like that for me bc I'm not used to playing open world games on mobile and maybe if I played it on PC I'd have a different impression but like... on mobile it seems huge. The Resonance Beacons are kinda oddly placed I think... like there should be a few more but maybe I'm spoiled from hyv games. From what I can tell on mobile it looks good, too. Can't wait for WuWa to come out for PS5 so I can fully enjoy how beautiful it looks. (no, I don't have a PC to play it on atm)

Scar is really cool, overall I really like the "villain" organisation so far (I know their name but wouldn't trust myself to properly spell it on here lol). Maybe bc they're some lf the only characters in this game that know what colour is lol. Scar's eng VA is *chefs kiss* and I think so far he's the most interesting character overall. Chamellya (? Is that how you spell her name) also seems really cool. Haven't met her yet in the story but I've seen several posts and I really look forward to getting to know more about the Fractuids (????or whatever their name is). Call them the Overseers, that's easier to remember and spell HAHA. Wonder what their motive is for abducting Jue and reviving the other big thing (it starts with Th I know, but can't remember it rn... Threnoid or something? Guys I told you I'm still learning)

When directly asked, Scar said that it brings the Lament and all that but like... why would they want that to happen??? Are humans bad? Is something bad gonna happen to them and they know? And what about putting TD parts into human bodies?? Why?? AND WHERE DO TDS COME FROM ANYWAY?

Okay so far for that. Also I quite like Jihnsi, which is suprising to me... I do find it weird that most characters in this game share almost the same color palette, I think it's cool that she's devoid of any color and she's just... pale. Everything about her is so pale and I think that's really cool, somehow. Just like the Overseers it makes her stand out to me.

I haven't met Jiyan yet :( Apparently I will in the next chapter but I have to level up quite a bunch until then... so lemme give you some other thoughts.

First of all I like the open world! I wanted to save exploration for until I have finished the main quests completely but since you have to level up in between the game leaves you no other choice. I haven't even unlocked the entire map yet (as I said I think it's HUGE on mobile lol) but so far it's been very cool! I like the twist they put in the puzzles, somehow they came up with new mechanisms that aren't just repetition of other games open world puzzles. I like that most challanges aren't time gated (like the sniper ones, I'd be dead if they were on mobile HAHA). Besides the challenges where you fly around as that bird and have to fly through rhose rings.. it goes so fast I can NOT control that at all on mobile. Will save those for a later opportunity ig.

The battles have been fun so far. Again I have to say how dynamic the system feels it's really fun with Intro Attacks and all that, the dodge attacks are really cool and yeah... on mobile I just press buttons and can't be as smart with my moves because I barely know wtf is going on and I can't control my fingers as diligently on the tiny buttons lol. Does the mobile version have controller support yet? I think I read somewhere that it doesn't, but I'll probably be the first to jump to it lol.

(Rn I wanna mention that I saved this post until this point and finished writing it afterwards until suddenly the wifi at work disconnected and then I lost hald the post :((( so I have to kinda rewrite half of it, yaay...)

SO. AGAIN.

The echo system is really cool and innovative. Its pretty new to me personally as a system to exchange for the artifact/relic stuff. Its cool you can use the echos ability. I just figure its gonna be a pain to farm later, given how you're not always guaranteed to get an Echo from every enemy snd the stats are random too... I haven't gotten too much into the system yet and what set or whatever is best for each character... but I'm glad that auto euqip is a thing already haha. I'll probably have plenty of time to figure this all out later.

I have arrived at a point in the game where the game wants me to level characters... the game recommended team level 40 for the Scar fight when I had my team at 25... Currently I use Rover, Verina and Chixia and habe been quote enjoying them. I'll try and use Rover as long as possible, so far I really like her playstyle! I also like that the game basically adds two new elements to the roster: light and darkness, basically. Seems pretty cool. Do the elements interact? Haven't gotten too much into the meta yet, so are there like reactions like on genshin or just status effects? To conclude my thoughts I'd like to add that I'm not sure yet how worth it is leveling up my characters rn? I know that Verina is very good and as I said I'll try and level Rover for now, but as for the third slot... although I like Chixia I ultimately wanna get Jiyan or some other 5star lile Calcharo? I also have no idea (yet) how to effectively farm level up material. There must be something like a ley line or calyx surely, I just haven't found it yet. Overall I'd like to spend the 240 energy the game gives me but besides bosses I haven't really found something on the map... oh yeah there was spme forgery challenge ig that's like for weapon stuff? We'll see...

Since I have lots of leveling to do (6 levels to continue the main quest...) I figured doing normal quests is the most effective way to do that, although I have noticed that not all quests give Union Exp? I find that a bit odd. Also are there any of these smaller quests worth paying proper attention to? Like that tell important lore? So far I've only done a few and they didn't really seem significant ... some photo taking and infiltrating an enemy camp, which was pretty cool because Rover dressed up as one of them snd snuck arpund the camp, but it didn't seem that important in the grand scheme of things? Do let me know if there are certain quests that are really cool.

I have done Lingyangs character quest and it was pretty sweet. I liked the camera switch in the cavern a lot. He's also just generally a very cite character, he falls out of the character colour scheme and he's just adorable :( I did get him as my first 5star on the 50 pull banner... sadly I don't like his playstyle :( I think I dislike the way gauntlet characters feel on mobile? Idk. I also dislike that lightning 4star gauntlet man (forgot his name. He was one of my first 4stars and his trial felt weird playing him idk...) in terms of gameplay. I do think this is just a mobile thing for me, at least with the controls. As I said, when the game gets controller support this might change.

I'd like to mention a few things that bother me, too. No game is perfect and I do think that kuro games is definitely able to fix these things. First of all I've noticed that in the open world when expllring it's often very silent? As in... there's no background music? Idk if it's just programmed to set in very late? I know that there is music, since it does play when I log in... but when I walk through the world and change areas it's so oddly silent for so long... it's kinda scary sometimes haha. Also I often hsve the problem that spoken dialogue randomly cuts off mid sentence without any trigger? Like it just doesn't play the entirety of the sentence? And this happens quite frequently, especially in the first few chapters of the story. Also when the text appears on screen... it seems that sometimes it is so long that it doesn't fully appear on screen? It doesn't scroll down or anything the longer texts are just not displayed? Idk.

Another thing I noticed is that the Rover's voice over often seems very monotonous and almost... empty? Like there's no emotion or anything... at least for female Rover. I do like that she gets quite a bunch of spoken lines, but sometimes they seem oddly off against the other characters... one example that really botheres me wss in act 4, when Scar gets arrested (and Scars voice over is phenomenal btw!). There's this moment where he wants to flee and in the lsst second Rover jumps in and says something like "not so fast" or something like that and its just... the character is in action and there's high tension and the line just falls so incredibly flat? I think it may be a directing problem, maybe they just didn't tell her what the context was but like... it really bothered me. I generally like the Eng voice over, although I do find some of Yangyangs pronounciations weird? It irritates me how she says Huanglong a lot of times? Like I get it that its closer to the Chinese pronounciation but other characters say it with an english accent too? Or her breathy "Rover" all the time? I think this is just me but it was quite annoying.

Other than that (and I already mentioned it) it will tske me some time to get used to the colour palette of the characters... i do like the character design, but almost every character has the same colours to them? It's all mainly black with white/grey details and occasinally some shade of blue/red or green in between. Very few characters fall out of that scheme, like Encore, Verina or LingYang. Or the Overseers, but they're not playable (yet?)

Other than thode pretty minor problems I'm excited to explore the world a bunch now. Very excited to see how the story ends as of rn. The devs are very attentive to player feedback so I'm vurious to see where the game is headed. I do think it has lots of potential. As I said, I can't wait for playable Scar and just generally to explore more of the world. Are there gonna be more countries added to the world? I'd say yes as of right now but are there mentions of it in the story? Very excited for it!

Also I'm looking forward to meeting Geshulin in the story. Ive seen short clips of him and to say I'm obsessed would be an understatement. This game nails it's morally grey male characters.

I'm not used to taking screenshots during mobile games, so I have only this one of Scar for now, maybe I'll mamage to make it a habit. Bye for now! (Wish me luck on Jiyans banner)

[jemmo]

ok. here’s some of my immediate, rambly reactions to eps 3 and 4 of t8s.

first off, i was kinda nervous the entire day. it’s been a while since ive had butterflies like this waiting for a show to air, most recently was the second season of utsukushii kare, but the level it was today was rivalling waiting on a friday for a new bad buddy ep. and the fact this show managed to put me into that state within less than a week is frankly insane, and shows just how down bad i am for it. all that to say, i so soooooo didnt this want this to be a case of me overinflating how good those first 2 eps only for the follow up to not encapsulate the same feelings. all signs were pointing to that not being the case, but still, when you hyperfixate, you kinda get nervous hoping that thing lives up to everything youve built it up to be. and these eps absolutely did that. they didnt just live up to expectations, but are managing to give me scenes and story beats and emotions i just cant predict at this point, and i love that. just how like this budding relationship feels new and unpredictable to jihyun and jaewon, the show is like that for me to watch, and it does wonders for giving me the same butterflies the two are feeling.

but with that unpredictability comes a kind of uncertainty, not knowing whats gonna happen at any turn, and i cant express how much i adore that about these two eps. with the kind of story theyre building, with jaewon’s mental health struggles and his past, with jihyuns nerves and growth in an unfamiliar environment, itd be so easy to make their relationship a shared place of comfort and certainty and familiarity for each other. that place of refuge. and while i feel like that’s what it’ll eventually become, i love that still, in these early stages, the relationship feels so uncertain and almost not guaranteed. it makes you still hang onto every look and touch and word even though theyve already kissed. something about it doesnt feel pre-determined, which is a feeling i get with so many other bl’s when you know, a majority of the time, they’ll get together and have a happy ending. that doesnt feel guaranteed here (even though i pray for that to be the case). instead, it feels like im watching two individuals that are actually having to make a conscious effort in order for this relationship to become something. they have to work for that certainty. and that kind of knife’s edge, it could break at any moment, hanging on every interaction is packed with that specific kind of nervous exhilaration that is so fucking accurate and true to the start of relationship. i seriously cant describe how perfectly they managed to encapsulate that feeling and convey it with such authenticity. its actually ridiculous. seeing those moments, when they’re talking and skirting so closely around the topic of what exactly they are, when then their fingers brush and you are begging for one of them to make the tiniest of moves, to take hold, to make that kind of a statement no matter how small or silent it is, it makes your heart race, bc its new and unknown and in that moment its like your insides are screaming, begging you to embed this sensation into your veins bc you dont know when the next night like this, when the midnight chill and the dusky sky and the hints of alcohol in your system will mix right and make you feel so hedonistically giddy as you do right now at the feeling of that person by your side. and the way they both chase that sensation, how visibly happy it makes them, a craving for each other and that shared thrill only they know, it is just so unbelievably intoxicating to watch. 

i am a person that struggles to sit down and focus. im watching tv but im also knitting, im playing a game but also listening to a podcast. im that person that has to overwhelm my senses to feel sated. this is the first time in a while that ive sat down to watch something and nothing stole my focus, i wasnt distracted, my mind didnt wander. i wasnt concious of the other people walking around my house or the traffic outside or the temperature of the room, i was just fully engrossed. i let every ebb and flow of the scenes and story take me on this path it was guiding me down. and again, thats how they feel. when jihyun and jaewon are alone together, everything else fades away to this dull buzz of background nothingness, they become engrossed in each other, and just as the story pulls me, they pull each other. there’s a constant back and forth, an exchange of setting and challenging boundaries that i adore. when youre getting into a scene, you dont know whos gonna be the one pushing the other. you have jihyun being more forward by the han river, teaching jaewon to draw, then you have jaewon going after jihyun at the library, you have him meeting jihyun after work only for jihyun to ask him to stay and have a drink. its like with every interaction, theyre both asking ‘is this ok?’ and the other asks ‘can we go further?’. i wanna make a whole other post about the nature of their gap in age and experience and all that brings and also how the expectations it brings are subverted, but for now i just wanna say how great it is that there is this balance, and especially that jihyun is allowed to be confident and brave and forward with jaewon, and jaewon is allowed to be reserved and giddy around jihyun. those are experiences so often reserved for the elder and the younger in a relationship, respectively, so to let jihyun be the leader and jaewon the follower, swept up by his feelings and attraction is so refreshing and plays so well into the kind of growth we’re gonna see from these characters and that they need, jihyun growing out of this shy country mouse persona to be more forward and bold, and jaewon being allowed to drop his mask of bravado and letting him be a young person that doesn’t have to be in control of everything. we see that one of his main pressures is the concept of the future, of how simultaneously wide and full of possibilities but also narrow and predetermined that future is for him. he talks about being afraid to lose the comfort of a microcosm like the army of school, even though they are places where he isnt necessarily happy. and then in comes jihyun, something not predetermined, something unexpected, and he takes control of jaewons future in a way by opening up this new path for him. he’s taking some of that stress from jaewon’s shoulders by being an equal and responsive partner in this journey, and offers the chance for jaewon to have something certain in his future, only if he too will work for it. only too if he tries something new, realises that its not too late, and that the anxiety and fear and uncertainty that comes with it may be worth it. bc it may not be guaranteed, but to try instead of never knowing is the only way he can make this possible.

tldr; this show is breath-taking, and im gonna be emo about it for a very long time