#which actually makes life so much better bc i can just keep going about my day instead of spiralling | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hangesfavles · 2 months ago

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Cowboy Hange headcanons

6.5K WORDS HOLY SCHMOLY!!!!! NB Hange x afab reader ^_^ <3 i tried keeping it genny nooch but i think hange refers to reader as cowgirl once sorry :(

Summary: i sorta stole the beginning of stardew valley as the intro to this fic helpp ... i also leaned into the idea of sheriff hange bc they’re the 14th commander and allat so i think its cute to imagine them as a sheriff in this au. i love this idea tho i think its so fun save a horse ride hange zoe

Warnings: brief mention of guns bc Hange is a sheriff, shmuuuuttttt under the border, hair pulling, strap riding B) aka MINORS DNI!!!!!!!!! #hangebackshots

a/n: HIIIIIII THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST OH EM GEE SO EXCITED TO WRITE FOR IT FDSADFGHJHGFD I HOPE U LIKE IT ANON!! Also i'm sorry i feel like this is more like a baby between a full length fic and hcs but it sorta came out like a story, I hope that's ok tho ;( If you guys want more cowboy hange content... i'm gonna shamelessly promote my friend, you can read both southern skies and runaway horses on ao3! I had been actually helping that friend revise southern skies bc i loved the story sm when i first read it. <3 <3 <3 @meetmeinmontauuk

❥Cowboy! Hange was definitely on the fence about you when you first moved into town. The only reason for their suspicion is their previous experience with who they call “city folk.” Their previous encounters with them had been a bit rocky, since life in town was very traditional. Not in a discriminatory way, they just preferred having a hospitable, close-knit community.

They’re used to city folk coming with an unfriendly attitude towards strangers. They dislike how they tend to prioritize individualism and a faster pace of life. For a while, their wariness seemed deeply ingrained, as if every newcomer carried the same weight of expectation. They sort of felt obligated to be concerned about you as the town’s sheriff.

❥When the opportunity arose for you to move out of the overwhelming city, out of the shitty studio you pay way too much money for, you practically ran for the hills.

Despite the things you hated about city life, it’s what you were used to and you know that moving directly into a town this small was going to be a culture shock for you. You found a quaint job as a librarian in a town named Shiganshina, where the headcount barely exceeds triple digits.

You felt that suited you now that you’re getting older. You’re not as excitable and extroverted as you used to be, now you’re at an age where you’d like to settle down and find a place to spend the rest of your life- which you’ve long decided is not in the bustling city that never sleeps.

You were happy to find a quiet job where you won’t have to talk to people very often, where the bulk of your day is spent with headphones on as you place books back on their rightful spot on the shelves.

Now that you have all of your belongings tucked away, all that's left to do is actually commute to your brand new city. It took a draining few hours, but now you’re finally headed into Shiganshina. However, your GPS’ directions are starting to confuse you, leaving you circling the same area about 3 times.

From what you’ve seen so far, the town seems very cozy. As you drive past the same village you’ve found yourself trapped in, you're only now noticing the comforting scent of freshly baked bread wafting from the local bakery. This town in general smells far better than the smells of the big city you had been previously living in.

This small southern town holds a charm that's as warm and cozy as the sun-soaked streets that remind you of your childhood days spent playing in the park with whoever you met there that day.

As you’re making your 4th loop around this same block, you spot a figure in the distance. As you grow closer, you squint your eyes, and- Holy fuck is that person riding a horse in the middle of the street????

This person seems equally confused by your car as you do by their horse. However, you notice their horse trotting towards your car from a distance, causing you to slow down next to them and roll down your window.

“Hiya. It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone use a car ‘round these parts.” They start with an airy chuckle, their ever so slight southern accent rolling off their tongue with grace. It's the kind of accent that leaves a warm feeling inside you, effortlessly expressing their friendliness and filling you with a sense of belonging, even if you were only passing through.

This stranger’s face doesn’t really match their tone. Their physical appearance reminds you of the bitter taste of medicine, but their voice is similar to the spoonful of honey used as a chaser to sweeten the former.

You give them a quick glance up and down, your eyes scanning their outfit consisting of blue jeans and an open flannel, a tank top underneath that defines their lean build. More interestingly, you catch a buckled belt with a holstered pistol attached. “So, you're a fresh face ain’tcha?”

Despite their weathered features and the weariness etched into every line on their face, their upbeat tone flows with a kind tenderness that catches you off guard. You aren’t going to lie and say you weren’t slightly skeptical after noticing that this person is fully armed.

“Are you tryna pass through, or are you lookin’ for somethin’ in particular?” They look down at you from their elevated position on their horse. You look up at them with obvious hesitation.

“Aha... Yeah, I’m supposed to be moving in today, but I’ve been up and down this same block for the past 15 minutes...” You avert your eyes back to your GPS. “Um... Do you happen to know where 93 Willow Lane is?”

They chuckle at your question, though you’re not sure why. “Yeah, I know my way ‘round town. You’re not gonna find Willow Lane in your car.” They tilt their cowboy hat, having their horse take a step back. They point in front of them, and you stick your head out of the window to see. They’re pointing toward a dirt path in the grass that’s littered with a few stepping stones.

“You’ll find 93 down that way. Not many people drive in town, we usually prefer walkin’ or biking. Or horse ridin’, in my case. You can’t park right outside, but on the bright side, you should’ve passed the parkin’ garage when you were lost. It’s right around the corner, real close by.” They explain to you with a shining smile. “Go on and park your car. I can help you carry your things inside.”

❥Cowboy! Hange does exactly that. They carry about 3-4 of your boxes at one time, which helps get the job done a lot faster than you can, since you can only hold the weight of 2 at a time.

The last trip the two of you make to your car, all you have left to carry in is a small backpack filled with your laptop and some chargers. Hange hops back onto their horse with ease, looking down at you. “You ever ride a horse before? I’ll give you a ride over to your place on ol’ Sawney.” They say, stroking their horses mane affectionately.

They notice how nervous you seem as you shift on the balls of your feet. “Not really, no... The only non-domestic animals I’ve ever seen are rats... and pigeons.” You say, shifting your eyes from glancing up at Hange to down at Sawney. Your previous life in the city had conditioned you to be wary of animals. One thing you learn quickly is that you should never get too close to an animal, no less touch one.

They can read the emotions on your face like a book. Not that it was particularly hard to tell that you were nervous. “Aw, c’mon! Sawney won’t hurt’cha. He’s sweet as a peach.” They sing playfully leaning down closer to your height. “I’m not sure I can-” You attempt to create an excuse so that you don’t have to get on the back of this creature, but Hange cuts you off quickly, hopping back down from the animal. “Trust me, of course you can! I’ll even help ya get on. Plus, I’ll be the one steering him behind ya.”

❥Cowboy! Hange demonstrates to you how to properly get on the horse, stepping into the stirrup and swinging their body over with relative ease. They can tell you’re still nervous, so they get off and hold your waist for support, hoisting you up. Sawney doesn’t seem to be affected at all by your inexperience. “Now look at that! You did just fine. I told you there was nothin’ to worry ‘bout.” They say, patting your shoulder roughly. Despite the way their praise makes your stomach fill with butterflies, you can’t fully appreciate their words due to the anxiety that takes priority over your emotions. You’re shaking like a leaf on top of Sawney, and you have to hold back an embarrassing yelp as they rest their hand on your shoulder.

❥Cowboy! Hange hops on Sawney behind you, as promised. You nervously lean back against their chest as their arms hold the reins in front of you, unintentionally surrounding you. Their chest is pressed up against your back, their thighs on either side of your body.

For the first few minutes of riding, your hands nervously clutch at their jeans for stability. But the longer you sit atop Sawney- practically cuddled up in this attractive stranger's arms- the anxiety that clouded over your other emotions starts to clear, allowing you to feel embarrassed and meek.

❥Cowboy! Hange notices your discomfort and chuckles softly. "You’re doin’ just fine. Sawney’s a smooth rider. You’ll get used to ridin’ real quick." Their voice is calm and reassuring, and you find yourself gradually relaxing in their presence. The gentle sway of the horse’s movements, combined with the warmth of Hange's body against yours starts to feel oddly soothing for someone you’ve only just met.

As you travel down the dirt path, the scenery changes from the small town center to more rustic surroundings. The field of vibrant green grass littered with mixed wildflowers stretches far beyond where the small settling of houses reside, making the space seem almost uncanny, but also dreamlike.

Hange rides right up to the front of your new house with ease, getting themself off the horse first in order to help you get down. After successfully making sure you don’t fall off of Sawney, you thank them. They grab the rim of their hat and give you a slight nod. “Anytime.” They say with an award winning smile.

You play with your fingers, picking at your fingernails as you work up the courage to ask them a question. “Um... The house is pretty empty, but would you like to come in for a while?” You ask them, looking up from your fingers to give them a smile in return. “Sure, why the hell not?” They shrug their shoulders, their lighthearted demeanor contradicting everything you originally assumed about them.

❥Cowboy! Hange inquires about your life before moving here. You tell them all about how you grew up in the city, what life there is like, and how you felt like you had to get out. In turn, Hange tells you about what life was like growing up on a farm in the same town you’ve just moved into. How they used to play in the dirt, throwing worms at other kids and going out at night to try and grab frogs.

The two of you made yourselves comfortable on the small couch in your living room; regardless of the fact that the house came with little furniture, you already feel yourself falling in love with the place.

❥Cowboy! Hange truly enjoys the conversation you share, despite their reservations about people from out of town. They find you to be much kinder and soft spoken in comparison to the others they’ve met. They aren’t sure why, but they feel drawn to you in a unique way. However, they’ll chalk it up to the fact the two of you are getting along quickly and they make a note to stop by again to have another chat.

"Welcome to Shiganshina," Hange says, their smile as warm as the sunlight streaming through the windows. "If you need help movin’ in or anything, don’t hesitate to holler. We’re a tight-knit community here, so if you can’t find me, I’m sure someone else’ll come runnin’. I have a feelin’ you’ll fit right in."

❥Cowboy! Hange tends to stroll around in town on their horse when the days are warm. They don’t technically need to, the station would simply call them if they were needed, but it’s something they enjoy regardless of their position as sheriff.

On a particularly warm day with the sun hanging bright in the sky, you decided to use your day off to spend some time outside and hopefully get your vitamin d levels up. So, you decided to take a stroll through the local park. You’ve seen it in passing, and it’s full of life and shrubbery and flowers you hadn’t gotten the chance to see or appreciate in the city.

A short while after you enter the park, you see a few groups of people already there. It starts to make you feel self conscious that everyone here showed up with a friend, family member or partner, but you had no one alongside you. Lucky for you, Hange also seized the opportunity to stroll around outdoors.

Hange sees you from afar as their other horse Bean trots along the sidewalk. They had an inner debate with themself over if they should approach you, but their insecurities were tossed aside when they noticed that your form is rigid and you’re picking at your fingers nervously.

They smile to themself because they understand why you would feel uncomfortable in a situation like your own, moving into a small town out of the blue where everyone already knows each other. They’re familiar with the feeling of awkwardness, even if they’ve lived here their whole life.

Despite having been raised in Shiganshina, they also sometimes feel out of place compared to other residents. For a while now, they’ve been feeling out of place with all of the budding romance in town. It feels to them that everyone they know is in a serious relationship or married, but they haven’t even been interested in anyone for what feels like forever.

It’s not that they never wanted or expected to fall in love, it was just something that hadn’t happened for them yet. After being alone for so long, they had kind of gotten used to it. Hange had resigned themself to the idea that maybe they were meant to be alone. But now, seeing you standing there with a nervous demeanor, butterflies stirred within their stomach, only confirming the feelings of affection already forming for you.

Once they get closer to you, they tap your shoulder. “Howdy, sugar. You’re stickin’ out like a sore thumb.” They say, giving you a smile and reaching for your wrist. They lead you and Bean towards a free bench, closeby to a lake. You can’t help but chuckle at how quickly they saved you from your own embarrassment. In a moment of confidence, you slip your wrist out of their grip, instead opting to hold their hand.

The sound of the keys jangling from their carabiner as their legs move catches your attention. You’d never thought the clanging of metal would sound so much like home. Maybe you’re just romanticizing the situation, but it sounds musical, like wind chimes in a storm. As they sit next to you, you’re hit with the smell of freshly cut grass with hints of amber that you can enjoy even over the earthy smell of the lake in front of you.

They lean forward on the bench, their knees spread apart and their arms resting against their thighs. They tilt their head your way. “So, how’s the town been treatin’ you so far? Ya like it?” Their kindness and concern makes your heart warm. You smile, the corners of your mouth curving upward. “It's been a big adjustment, obviously. But everyone’s been kind so far. It's... peaceful, quiet. Different from what I'm used to, but in a good way.”

You can see the smile reflecting in their eyes without even looking at their lips. Their crows feet are prominent whenever their lips upturn. "I can only ‘magine. But you seem to be holdin’ up just fine."

You glance at the murky lake in front of you, the water about as clear as the cup of coffee you had this morning. Despite this, the surface glimmers faintly under the sun all the same, giving the scene the feel of a landscape painting.

“I think everyone already has grown on me. The few I’ve met at least. My neighbor even brought by some fresh cookies and bread.” You say, recalling the surprise you felt. The lady that dropped by can hardly even be considered your neighbor, as there’s at least a 3 minute walk between your houses. “This place is charming. It's starting to feel homey, though I still get lost sometimes.” You chuckle lightly, raising your hand to cover your smile.

“Yeah, Shiganshina's got that effect on folks. It ain't fast-paced like the city, but there's plenty’a heart here. I'm glad you're feelin' welcomed.”

You take a deep breath, trying to ignore the buzzing of your nerves as you attempt to hold this conversation. “And you? You seem to know everyone around here. Must be nice.”

Hange chuckles softly, a hint of thoughtfulness in their eyes. They lightly shake their head in disagreement. “Ain't always easy, bein' the sheriff. Knowin' everyone means knowin' their business, the good, bad, and ugly. But it's home, ya know? Can't imagine bein' anywhere else.”

You chuckle lightly at their response, “I can’t imagine you being anywhere else either.” You tease, giving them a coy smile, to which they give you a playfully disapproving look in response. “I understand that, though. I felt like that for a while too before I actually moved. Since I grew up in the city, I was used to the lifestyle and never wanted to deal with a big change.”

Hange's expression softens from their previous one. "Yeah, I ain’t a big fan of it either," they admit, their tone contemplative and thoughtful. “I’m not an adventurous type. But sometimes a big change can end up being the best for us.”

You look at them with a certain tenderness while you process their wise words. You feel like you have to agree. Moving to Shiganshina had seemed daunting at first, but it brought you a fresh perspective on life.

Their tight-knit community was beginning to offer you a sense of belonging and you never knew how much you would enjoy it. The slower pace of Shiganshina allowed for more meaningful connections between everyone you knew. At this point, you’ve known Hange for less than a month, and you feel like you’ve had significantly more meaningful conversations with them in comparison to most of your old friends.

Hange interrupts your train of thought as they continue with their sentence. “I hope this move was the best for you. I don't usually warm up quickly to people I've just met.” As you look up to meet their eyes, you swear that they have a certain sparkle. “So, what I’m sayin’ is that there’s somethin’ I like about you. It's not every day that I meet someone like you. It's... nice.”

At the moment, you’re not exactly sure how to respond to their abrupt vulnerability. Not because you’re uncomfortable- it’s exactly the opposite. You understand what they mean because you feel the same.

They clear their throat awkwardly, realizing that they might’ve left you feeling at a loss for words. “I just hope we get to know each other better ‘nd all.” They add in a rushed tone. “Oh, would you look at that,” You start to smile due to how fast they try to change the topic, but refrain from laughing.

“Bean’s gettin’ antsy for some exercise!” They chuckle nervously, getting up from the bench and patting Bean’s backside. They expertly avoid eye contact with you as you follow their actions, getting up from your seat as well. You part your lips to say something to fill the air, but you hear the clearing of Hange’s throat before any sounds come out. “How about you try ridin’ again? By yourself this time.” Their eyes find your own when they ask, making it your turn to dodge eye contact. “Ahhh... Um, I dunno.” You scratch at the back of your neck awkwardly. “I don’t think I’m ready to do it by myself...”

“Psssh. Nonsense.” That was the last thing you heard before you felt Hange’s strong hands take hold of your waist, lifting you up on Bean with ease.

You start defensively stuttering “H-Hold on, wait, I-” you scramble. Before you know it, you’re on top of another horse against your wishes. Hange laughs at your skittishness, patting your back similarly to the first time you hopped on Sawney. “You’ll be fine, Bean is a good boy. His rides are a bit more shakey than Sawney, though. But don’t worry, if anything goes wrong I’ll be there to catch’ya. Promise.” They say, looking up at you with such a sweet smile… Fuck, you just can’t deny them when they’re so charming.

❥You and Cowboy! Hange spent a few hours together at the park. You rode on their horse for what felt like forever but was actually only 45 minutes. Hange insists that you’re a natural but you’re positive that you’re performing lower than the average person, they’re just too nice to say anything about it.

You two also spent time walking around the perimeter of the lake, watching the owners that let their dogs run free, and best of all, just talking to each other. Being so close to them and watching their facial expressions shift was comforting. You try your best to commit this day to memory by combing all of their features with your eyes over and over.

❥Cowboy! Hange walks you back to your house, Bean strolling at their side. When you both finally reach your front door, you suddenly don’t know what to say. Neither of you truly wants to leave, you can both feel the strings of fate pulling you together, but the night is slipping away, and the reality weighs on both of you.

Hange shifts on their feet, glancing at you with that familiar sparkle in their eyes, as if they too are searching for the right words. You chuckle, rubbing the back of your neck. “Guess this is goodnight, huh?” Hange grins, but there’s an unspoken promise to be found within it. “For now,” they say, lingering just a moment longer before turning to hop on Bean.

You watch them, nibbling on the inside of your cheek. Just when you’re about to retreat into your home, their voice causes you to turn your head back to them. “Um… Would it be alright if I stopped by tomorrow? ‘Round this time?” They ask hopefully, bashfully averting their eyes from their reigns to your face. You smile broadly, trying to hide it but inevitably failing. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be here.” You say, trying not to sound too giddy.

You can’t tell how well you mask your emotions, because you feel like a dog that’s just been told it’s going for a walk. Thank god you don’t have a tail, or it would be wagging wildly.

Parting ways with them didn’t feel nearly as bad when the promise of reconvening was stuck in your mind like a song that you can’t stop listening to.

❥Cowboy! Hange has a plan. They had an inkling from your first interaction- sitting on your couch and chattering away- that they had a fondness for you. Your run-in at the park only reinforced the feelings that were already present. They knew they wanted to do something special for the next time they’d come by your house.

❥Cowboy! Hange woke up bright and early before their shift at the station to buy a small bundle of flowers from a small shop downtown. The shop was run by a girl with brown hair, tied up into a ponytail with a heavy accent, even more so than them. They think her name was Sasha, if they’re remembering correctly. Hange had a good chuckle from the girl nearly jumping out of her seat as they walked in, a loaf of bread between her jaws whilst ringing them up.

You can’t help but anticipate and daydream of Hange’s arrival from the moment your eyes open until you’re released from your shift at the library. You feel embarrassed by how eagerly you listen to any noise that might be slightly akin to a knock upon the door. You feel like the embodiment of a schoolgirl doodling hearts and initials over their notes.

When you finally hear the soft rapping of their knuckles against the door, you nearly open the door within the same 5 seconds. You stare at the doorknob for a bit, to avoid seeming like you were waiting for them… Even though you were.

You’re not disappointed when you finally turn the lock and twist the knob.

❥Cowboy! Hange becomes hyper aware of the dampness settling in their palms as they hear the distinct click of the lock and subtle creak from the door. Their face is partially obscured by the flowers they’re holding up as an attempt to hide their blush. They clear their throat, still peeking from above the bundle of flowers. “So, um… I did some thinking. I figured, why beat around the bush?” They say, practically thrusting the flowers into your hands. “Whaddya say we head out for dinner tonight?” Their lopsided grin charming you more than you thought possible.

❥Dating Cowboy! Hange is nothing short of a dream. For someone with such little experience with romance and lovey-dovey affections, they are oddly suave.

Like the town you both live in, they tend to be traditional in the ways in which they treat you. They always have to be the one to pay. They always walk you to your door, all the way. They’re always trying to be chivalrous. They bring you flowers and gifts routinely. They kill bugs for you.

But of course that’s nothing to look down upon, how could you not be absolutely swooning over them?

❥Cowboy! Hange decided to fully commit to the idea of teaching you how to ride a horse on your own.

It took plenty of getting used to. At least by the time you two actually started dating you already had some experience.

Warm days were spent atop Sawney or Bean, the horses moving at a relaxed pace, smooth and unhurried around the large open field surrounding your house.

After riding on your own more than a few times, you finally decided you were ready to venture away from your yard and onto actual roads. They were proud of you, you had gone from being absolutely horrified even standing next to their horses, and now you’re riding them on the open road.

You two decided to head to Hange’s house, since you had realized that you hadn’t been there yet by pure coincidence. It had always been easy for Hange to ride over to your house quickly for surprise visits, dinner dates, movie nights, and any other times you two just wanted to see each other.

Once you two arrived, Hange got off their horse first, stepping down to help you dismount as well. Even though your skills were rapidly growing, the one thing you had trouble with was properly getting off. You think too hard about startling the horse that you always trip and inelegantly wobble on your feet to find balance.

Hange strides over to you, hands beginning to lift in order to dismount you, but before they can you decide to try your luck at impressing them by dismounting on your own. You remind yourself that confidence is what you need, hopping off quickly is easier than trying to slowly climb down.

You hop down with ease, landing flat on your feet without stumbling. Their eyes light up with surprise, their open mouth turning up into a smile. Still, before they say anything, you snatch the hat from on top of their head, gracefully placing it atop your hair. “Looks like I’m a real cowboy now. Or do I need to lasso a bull first for the full cowboy certification?” You say with a cheeky smirk gracing your face.

They weren’t prepared for the sight in front of them, their cheeks warming up at your display of ego. “Well look at that,” Hange drawls, eyes twinkling. They can’t help the swarm of less than pure thoughts that fly through their mind. “You know what they say, cowgirl. If you wear a cowboy's hat, you have to ride the cowboy.”

Of course, everything Hange does has to have an air of tenderness, and of adoration.

They take your hand as they lead you inside, kissing it before letting go. With the swiftness and ease of ink flowing from a pen, they lift you up as if you weigh nothing. And naturally, they navigate your body as if they had written it themself.

However, once they have you in their arms they toss you onto their bed unceremoniously, as if you’re nothing more than something to conquer. The hat flies off of your head and in a random direction that you don’t currently care to take note of.

In an instant, their lips are trailing along your neck, a soft sigh of joy passing through your lips. Having them on top of you makes you feel all-consumed by them and their affections.

Their hands are placed on your hips, slowly sliding up beneath your shirt, bunching it up as their hands continue moving. They glance up at you, making sure it’s alright to continue.

You give them a soft smile, grabbing one of their hands and continuing to pull them upwards. This causes them to chuckle at your eagerness and proceed to remove your shirt, leaving you in just your bra.

They decide not to remove your bra, enjoying the idea of being half dressed. With your blanket permission, they also strip your bottom half of your pants. You can’t help but feel a bit shy since you’re the only one undressed.

Hange starts to back up on the bed, starting to kiss you again, this time on your stomach and hips. You softly lock your fingers in their hair, carefully pulling away their ponytail.

Their hair tickles your stomach as it drops to frame their face. They are undeterred by this, even as you bring your dominant hand back towards their head to hold on to a patch of hair.

Once they get their fill of kissing you, they move their attention to your clothed pussy. They lightly brush their tongue up your slit, not bothering to move your underwear.

They’re nothing if not slow and teasing. Their tongue is going at a painfully slow pace and pressure. They keep teasing your slit up and down, purposely leaving your clit ignored. It’s fucking torture and they know it.

Once you start to get teary eyed and squirmy, they finally drag their tongue over your clothed clit ever so slowly. After finally having the stimulation you need, your leg muscles twitch beside their head, barely restraining yourself from pushing your hips against them as much as possible.

You thought you were now free from their torturous teasing. You thought. It couldn’t have been any longer than 2 minutes before they pulled back, getting up from the bed entirely. You almost allow the tears building in your eyes to fall, until you see them start to remove their own clothes.

Your eyes are fully glued to their form as they undress. Their chest is relatively small and perky, so they didn’t feel a need to wear a bra or binder today. This means you’re quickly met with their bare skin.

They look towards you, feeling your eyes practically burning a hole through them. They chuckle at your focus on them. “Impatient?” They say with a grin playing on their face. In response to their question, you roll your eyes before giving them an unamused look. “…A’right.” They say, getting the message that if they keep teasing you that you would probably burst into flames…

With a quicker pace, they pull on their harness over their boxers, securing their strap into it.

Their strap is pretty standard definition. It’s average sized for a dildo, about 7 inches. A solid black color. Veiny and phallic shaped.

When they head back over to you, they press their lips into your own. Lovingly at first, but quickly it turns heated and fervent.

Their hands travel to your lower back, lifting you up by it and flipping you backwards.

Once their strap begins to settle inside you, you realize why they had been so kind before. Because they won’t be so forgiving now.

They grab a handful of your hair as they start to thrust into you more, having been prepped by their tongue prior.

They aren’t too cruel, they start slow as to not hurt you, but within the blink of an eye your neck is craning backwards from their hold on your hair, their hips roughly bumping against your ass.

Fuck. It hurts, but it’s better than any pain you can imagine. The feeling of them inside of you, reaching deeper than you’re used to… you’re surprised you’re not seeing stars.

Hange cranes your neck just a bit more so that they can lean in to whisper into your ear. You’re sure that they said something, but you’re not coherent enough to truly process it. The slight feeling of pain from your hair tugging at your head paired with the pace of their hips is making you delirious.

Their free hand slides across your hip, slinking around your stomach to circle your clit. Because of this you’re panting hard and crying out their name weakly and it doesn’t take much longer for you to cum.

They slow their pace as you ride out your orgasm, changing from rough and fast to slow and more deep. They release their hold on your hair and you realize your arms feel weak, causing you to nose dive into the pillow below you.

They giggle softly at you and carefully pull their strap out and turn you over. You look up at them with a smile, wrapping your arms around their shoulders and pulling them closer.

They smile as well as they hover over you. “I didn’t hurt’cha, right?” They ask with slight nervousness. With a teasing look you say “Not too badly, at least.”

“Ahh, you’ve got jokes.” They tease, dipping their head to kiss your neck. That shuts you up quickly.

It’s your turn to run your fingers in their hair, which you do, tilting your head up so they have more skin to take advantage of.

And they don’t let the opportunity pass them by. Their lips travel to your collarbone, sucking a mark in a modest area. They may have the libido of a teen boy, but they don’t want to bring that type of embarrassment to either of you.

They continue to wind you up as slowly and teasingly as possible. Your patience is running thinner than paper, so you wrap your leg around their side, pushing them under you.

Their expression of slight shock and pure wonder is priceless. “This was technically the deal, wasn’t it? Riding the cowboy.” You chuckle.

They stare up at you owlishly, their hands grazing your thighs and sliding to your hips. They guide you back on their strap slowly.

You didn’t expect to feel so full in this position. Your fingers dig into their shoulders as you use your legs to move up and down. You also didn’t realize how strenuous this would be. Shit, maybe it’s time to hit the gym.

You don’t let the burn in your legs deter you, especially not when Hange is below you, looking at you as if you crafted the earth and heavens just for them.

Thankfully it becomes easier to ignore when the burning in your stomach outweighs the sensation in your legs.

You feel like a ghost of yourself, watching distantly as a ragdoll shaped like you tries to chase release. The only thing keeping you grounded at the moment is the visibility of Hange’s enjoyment. It’s surprisingly motivating.

Their hands are everywhere. On your hips, thighs, back, chest, shoulders… They can’t get enough of your soft skin paired with your undivided attention. “Fuck…” They mumble with a chuckle under their breath.

You’re so close, and hearing their soft curse only brings you closer. The heat in your center is almost unbearable as you sigh and moan tiredly.

They notice your lethargy and decide to help you out. They get a strong hold on your waist and start thrusting upwards to give your legs a bit of a break.

“You look so good like this, sugar. Keep going.” They say as they pull you closer in their hold, their chin resting on your chest as they gaze straight up at you.

With their encouragement and aid of their hips, you cum hard. Your head lolls back as you continue to ride out your orgasm on their lap. They keep their hands on your hips as they fuck their strap into you, their grip tight and slightly bruising. “That’s it… just like that.” They mumble to you. You lift yourself off of their lap, slumping down beside them tiredly.

They pull off their harness, flopping beside you in bed. Their arms pull you into their warm, comforting embrace, their head resting against your own. They whisper praises in your ear until you drift off to sleep.

You’re a bit disoriented when you wake up. You sit up and realize you aren’t in your own bed, the memory of events invading your mind seconds after. Only problem is that you don’t see Hange. You’re sure they’re still here, it is their house after all, but you still feel a bit sad that their presence wasn’t beside you.

You step out of bed and feel the weakness in your legs immediately. You grab your discarded clothes before carefully wobbling out of their room at a slow pace, as if you’re learning how to walk for the first time again. You definitely need to hit the StairMaster after this.

When you step out of their bedroom, you see them attempting to cook you dinner. It’s nothing particularly special, just a panini and some french fries, but you can see how concentrated they are as they try their best to ensure the panini won’t burn.

They hear the pattering of your bare feet against the floor, which causes them to look over their shoulder. “Hi darlin’. I’m making dinner, you should head back to bed to rest. I’m sorry if I went a little too rough.”

(Almost) always the gentleman. You walk over and wrap your arms around their waist, leaning against their broad chest. “It’s alright. It was worth the soreness.” You assure them quietly. Their arms drape over your shoulders, one hand stroking your hair while the other rubs your back lightly.

“If you say so.” They say, kissing your forehead. You stay like this for a while, listening to the thumping of their heart as you rest against them. Everything about their presence is soothing, whether they’re touching you or not. And when they add touch to the equation? Forget about it. You could probably fall asleep standing up.

You only lift your head from their chest as you feel a tingle in your nose. You sniff a few times before looking up at them. “Do you smell that?” You ask.

Hange stiffens in your hold, turning around to see smoke coming from the sandwich they were making you. The sight of the grey puffs trailing up to the ceiling causes them to spring into action, to remove the sandwich before a fire starts. “Shit!-”

<3 i’m sorry this took literally like 10 months to come out i’ve been busy with work and college since i’m nearing the end of my undergrad degree…. what da hail. i hope it was worth the wait cus im pretty happy with how this turned out!!!!

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pupyuj · 4 months ago

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omg sub gp wony or yujin or liz (i love my tall line sm 😭😭) x reader where reader is a tease and edges them they literally have their hips bucking into readers hand 😵‍💫😵‍💫

let's make it "wony, yuj, and liz" to satisfy your tall line heart!! 🫢💕 i did not intend for this to get as long as it did but oh well! i rlly wanted to slip in some foursome action towards the end but again, this is already too long for a drabble so no foursome unfortunately 😭😭

[cw: g!p yujin, g!p wonyoung, g!p liz, bratty!reader.]

yujinnie is kinda the worst person to ever pull this shit on bcs she teases back and it's so so so much worse than what you do 😭 but let's say you catch her on a day that has gone on for too long—she's exhausted, drowsy, and all she wants to do is have some food and go the fuck to bed... but you felt like being a little prick that night unfortunately 🫣 you wait for yujin in her room, looking innocent and pretty as ever... until yujin realizes that you were wearing the world's most see-through nightgown just for her 🤭🤭

she'd think that you were being nice! your leader has had a hard day, it was only natural for you to try and relief her of some tension and stress in her body, right!? but no! unfortunately you were going to be a bad girl just bcs you felt like it :(( what a shame, really! yujin was really looking forward to breeding you... and ofc she tries to take back control by putting that idea in your head but nah, you were the boss tonight 😝 sitting on her lap, kissing her so slowly and sweetly that it drive her insane while subtly grinding on her hard crotch... yujin knows that some pleasure is better than nothing at all, so she keeps her hands still on her sides, gripping the sheets below her whenever she had to hold back on pushing you down and fucking you 😵‍💫 it was torture... and fucking embarrassing bcs there was a very obvious wet spot on her shorts that continues on getting wetter and wetter bcs you absolutely refused to do anything about it... even you finally palming her hard-on did nothing for her! yujin wanted so much more... but too fucking bad!

yujin is so cute when she starts whining... you always liked her better when she wasn't trying to look so cool and tough just bcs she's the leader! being a whiny, teary-eyed, desperate mess looked better on her! yujin knew that there wasn't an easy way out of this bcs she either had to push you off and go to bed tired and hard as fuck with no other way to relieve herself until the next day or suck it up and beg... which was exactly what she does bcs baby couldn't take it anymore :(( yujinnie knew how good you were—she'd beg anytime you ask her to! 🥺 little did she know that that was really what you were asking for... and it was all you wanted! not getting fucked and bred and certainly not making her cum 🤭 so, you'd sit there like a psychopath—jerking her off but not actually letting her cum... mocking her while she cried, laughing when she starts to do the work herself bcs she was so desperate...

"i'll make it up to you tomorrow, yujin-ah... you can punish me however you want... but tonight, let's play my game, yeah?" you say while kissing her tears away :(( it wasn't very comforting considering you did nothing but make yujin's life hell that night, but she really did get her revenge the next day! many, many times too! 😋

wonyoung does NOT have the patience for this kind of thing 💀 if she wants to cum, she'll cum and it doesn't matter what you want to do or what kind of stupid shit you want to pull 🫢 and she certainly hates dealing with your teasing bcs you aren't subtle about it at all! backhugging her and groping her cock out in the open while getting some drinks in the vending machine in the company building, even trying to trap her between yourself and the machine until wony says that the two of you have to return immediately... you knew she only complained bcs she didn't have the upper hand and there was nothing wony hated more than letting you win! 😒 but no matter... you just keep terrorizing her during practice with your lingering touches, flirty expressions, and the naughty promises you whisper in her ear 🤭

and when wonyoung inevitably drags you to the bathrooms, you already won 😝 even when you’re on her lap, filled to the brim with her cock, and riding her, you won bcs it was so easy to take control of wonyoung from there :(( she’d be completely at your mercy! no matter how much she tries to fuck into you, you just won’t let her cum inside you 🤭 mind you, wony is perfectly capable of cumming on your stomach or your thighs but she always thinks that it’s such a waste… plus she really likes it better when she cums inside your pussy, so can you really blame the girl for being picky?? 😞

all of this was just part of your grand plan to simply have wonyoung fuck you longer than she usually does 💀 riding her with the pace that you wanted to have, ignoring her threats and pleas, threatening her back when she gets too brave… it was all in good fun ofc but who knows, maybe someday you would be petty enough to ‘keep her hanging for an entire week’ 🤭🤭 wony turns into a real precious thing after that 🥺 her moans get a lot more cuter, she’s hiding her face in your neck, and her complaints become a lot more desperate bcs she was really so close but she didn’t know if you’d allow her to cum yet ☹️ and you really would have edged wonyoung to oblivion if those glossy eyes didn’t win you over! so she breeds you like she always wanted to… and does more bcs she’s pissed that you took that long to let her cum 🫠

oh, jiwonie 🥰🥰🥰 shy, gets flustered easily, no backbone whatsoever—oh, she was the perfect girl for you! 🤭 unfortunately for her, you are her absolute undoing but she loves you regardless! dkhfmckdkhf imagine tricking her into a cute little movie date, and jiwon is excited as fuck because whenever you plan the hangouts, she knew she was going to have fun! the poor girl did not expect you to be a little shit at all so when you put your hand on her thigh, dangerously close to her cock, well... she very obviously tenses up but ignores you 😭 it wouldn't be long before she loses her focus on the movie bcs you'd already snuck your hand inside her skirt, cupping her bulge that was rapidly increasing in size.. 🫣 what's worse is that you're in a movie theatre! jiwon could do nothing but grab your wrist with urgency, look at you with wide, fearful eyes, and slightly shake her head :(( you just smile and kiss her before sliding your hand inside her underwear, forcing her to cover her mouth bcs jiwon knows she absolutely sucks at keeping her noises suppressed while you're jerking her off 😣

"(y/n)... god...!"

"shh... you'll disturb everyone, jiwon-ah."

she didn't even know how much she needed this until now :(( she has been so dead-set on practices and work stuff that she never had the time to fool around like this... and while jiwon was not a big fan of how exactly you were going about this, she's still thankful! she starts to care less and less about the setting the two of you were doing this in the more she feels good though, and even actively uses your hand 🥺 meanwhile, you were just watching her like the sick freak that you were 😭 you were getting wet just by observing all the expressions she was making! you would have loved to just jump on her cock but believe it or not, you still had some sense of shame! plus, it was more fun to just torture jiwon like this... 😋

and of course... the moment jiwon starts showing signs of hitting a climax, you retract your hand and start acting like a proper lady 😭 and the baby is so confused, asking you why you stopped bcs she wanted be relieved so bad and cum on your hand :(( but you just tell her that you had a movie to watch! lowkey this'll make her pout and kinda sad bcs she's hurt that you played her 😔 so you end up promising that as soon as the two of you were done shopping and having dinner at a restaurant, jiwon will get what she wants 🥰 to your surprise, however, jiwonie actually says no to all of that and practically drags you back to your car, tells you to "drive the fuck home" so she can get her way with your annoying ass 💕

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fairyhaos · 9 months ago

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◈ love of my life // yoon jeonghan

jeonghan x gn!reader, 2k+ words

tags: technically requested by lots of people bc everyone wants jeonghan fluff, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, crack, mutual pining, almost-confessions

warnings: light swearing

summary: in which your relationship with jeonghan isn't exactly platonic and isn't exactly romantic... but rather, it's a secret third thing.

It has to be at least two in the morning when Jeonghan's ringtone blares throughout his bedroom, and he rolls over with a groan, grappling blindly at his nightstand before finding his phone and pressing it against his cheek.

“Who is this and what do you want?”

“Jeonghan, let's go on a date.”

He recognises your voice in an instant, even in his half-asleep state, and he huffs a laugh, flopping back against the pillows and rubbing his eyes.

“Gee, at least ask me when it's not ass o'clock in the morning, won't you?”

“No, no, this only works if you get up right now,” you say. “Come on, Jeonghan, just go on a date with me. Right at this very moment.”

Jeonghan rubs his eyes, before taking his phone away from his cheek and peering at the screen so he can read the time. “See, you’re not presenting a very good argument,” he says, once he’s put the phone against his ear again. It’s almost three in the morning. What are you thinking? “I don’t wanna date you that much.”

You make a sad sound on the other end of the phone. “What will it take to get you out of the house?”

“Wire me an obscene amount of money right now and I’ll think about it.”

There’s a pause.

“No. Best I can offer is a pretty please.”

Jeonghan can’t help smiling at your dry tone, and he rubs his eyes once again with a yawn. “Fine. I guess I can’t expect anything better from you, anyway.” He can almost see you biting your lip in annoyance, wanting to quip something witty back at him but also wanting to keep quiet so he’ll actually come.

“You know me so well.”

“Yes I do,” Jeonghan teases, and groggily hauls himself out of bed. “I’ll be ready in ten. Where do you want me to go?”

“Don’t worry, princess, I’ll pick you up,” you say, suddenly sounding excited. “Just wait for me and I’ll come over to take you out.”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. “Is that a threat?”

You laugh, bright and happy, like it’s not two in the morning and you’ve asked your best friend to go on a date with you. Jeonghan can’t help but smile again, even as he grapples blindly through his dark room to find some clothes.

“Don’t worry. It’s a promise.”

───────────── 🌘

Jeonghan is, admittedly, more than a little confused when you just take him to the nearest playground.

Sure, maybe this entire thing is weird—you calling him up during ridiculous hours of the morning to “go on a date” is definitely not something you’ve done before—but that’s just the kind of friendship he and you have.

It’s like how, last year, he spent an entire month calling you increasingly ridiculous pet names, ranging from “beloved” to “honey butter snuggles bunny bear”, and purposefully took you out to public cafes and restaurants to test them out for everyone to see and hear, preventing you from punching him as hard as he probably deserved.

So this is, like, nothing new. Just a funny and silly thing the two of you do, because you've known each other for the whole of your lives, and when it comes to the way your relationship works, the lines separating “platonic” and “romantic” have always been curiously nonexistent.

It doesn’t mean anything. It’s never meant to mean anything.

But sometimes, sometimes, it feels like it should.

“I think I’m going to end up alone forever,” you say abruptly, and Jeonghan looks over at you in surprise. You’re sitting on the swings next to him, dragging yourself back and forth as you look up at the sky. There’s nothing to see up there, with the clouds obscuring any moonlight, so it's obvious that you're just looking away so he can't see your face.

It's so quiet; Jeonghan didn't realise that the world could be this quiet at 2 in the morning, and it makes your words echo extra loud into the abyss, before they're swallowed by the darkness.

Jeonghan shrugs. “Maybe you will.”

Instantly, you're leaning over to swat him on the arm, and he laughs.

“Asshole,” you say, but there's no venom in your voice, even as you level him with a glare. “You're really no help. I'm trying to unload all my deepest fears for you, here, practically begging you to reassure me, and yet all you can do is be mean.”

“You said one thing,” Jeonghan points out. “I don't think that counts as unloading all your deepest fears.”

“Yeah, well, maybe it's my only deepest fear.”

“Why are you unloading your deepest fear on me?” Jeonghan asks, kicking his legs out in front of him. “We're on a date. Our first date, mind you, so this hardly seems appropriate.”

“Asshole,” you say again, but like before, the word has no bite. You glance over at him, before realising that he's looking at you, and then quickly raise your gaze to the sky. “I'm being serious about this, you know.”

Jeonghan says nothing for a long moment. Watches the way the pale light from a nearby lamppost gives you an unearthly, almost otherworldly glow.

“I'm being serious too,” he decides to say, looking up at the cloudy sky with you. “You shouldn't be saying that stuff on a first date. Kinda makes it sound like you don't think things will work out between us, you know?”

You huff a confused laugh, looking over at him again. “Jeonghan, wha—?”

“And maybe you will end up alone,” he carries on, thoughtfully, as if he's talking to himself, forgetting that you're sitting there too. “But maybe you won't. I think you probably won't. And even if you do, it's fine, because I'll still be with you.”

It's a painfully vulnerable thing to say, made doubly so by the quietness of the night. Like a love confession, almost. Except it's not, because he's not in love with you.

He isn't.

“That's really sweet,” you say, almost begrudgingly, as if it pains you to admit that Jeonghan actually said something nice, and he laughs. “Though wrong. If you’re with me, then I'm not alone, am I?”

“Oh, I see. When you said alone, you meant in general. I thought you meant, like, romantically.”

“Well, maybe. But maybe I also meant overall,” you shrug. “I didn't think you'd want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Jeonghan swallows, tilts back on the swings, head still raised to look at the sky. “I want to spend every life with you.”

You look away from the sky at his words, turning to face him in surprise. The echoes of what he’d just said were already fading away, muffled and pressed into the velvet dark of the night, but the surprisingly soft air that followed in its wake still remained.

Now, he's the one avoiding your gaze, keeping his eyes firmly locked on the shapeless, misty blur of clouds above him so he doesn’t have to look at you. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see you tilt your head, and smile.

“Oh, look at you, you sap,” you say, bright and teasing. “Face it, you like being with me. Oh! I bet you're in love with me, seeing as how you agreed to date me and everything! Isn't that right, Jeonghan? You love me.”

Jeonghan pulls a face, and you burst into laughter, so ridiculously loud and happy even though it's two in the morning and the whole playground is silent, the sound of your happiness ringing against the cool air of the night. He can't help but look at you then, exasperated and fond, shaking his head as you grip the swing chains and sway back and forth, still giggling to yourself.

He sniffs, feigning annoyance as he leans to the side, making a dramatic show of pulling his swing away from you.

“This isn't a real date. I could never date you.” He scrunches his face in faux disgust for good measure, and you laugh again, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. And yet you still came out when I called, didn't you?” you tease, smiling widely, and Jeonghan has to admit that you're right. He's here because you asked him to be here. He’s here for you.

Hm. This was getting weirdly soul-baringly truthful for what he’d thought would be a silly little hangout in the middle of the night.

“Next time you call me at 2am, I’m blocking you forever,” he says dryly, giving you an exaggerated look of disdain just so he can revel in the laugh that it pulls out of you.

“No you won’t,” you say cheerily. “Because you looove me.”

“Um, lies.”

“No lies. You literally love me so much.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You do. You do, you do, you do, you’re actually genuinely in love with me and there’s nothing you can do to deny it, because it’s so obvious that I’m literally the love of your l—”

Jeonghan makes a clicking sound with his tongue and leans over to shove your arm, causing you to swing to the side as you cackle with delight at his reaction. He glares at you, again, sighing with exasperation as you continue to laugh.

“Yes, yes, I love you, just as much as you love me. Now if we’re not actually doing anything of importance, then can I go home?”

“What?” you say indignantly. “Of course not! If I can’t sleep, then that means you’re not allowed to sleep either.”

“I knew it. You called me out here because you couldn’t fall asleep.”

“Duh. Now come and push my swing, will you?”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes and stands up from his swing, groaning and holding his knees like he’s some kind of grumpy grandpa. You laugh, mocking him for his bad joints as he walks around to stand behind you, and he snarks back something ridiculously funny and rippling with light, twisting through the cool air.

And then his hand presses against the small of your back, soft and yet sure, and suddenly all you can focus on is that gentle, feathery point of contact that connects you to him.

Your laughter subsides as he begins to gently push your swing, and you move up, and down, and up, and down, the fleeting warmth of his hand an intermittent pressure against your back. He doesn’t say a word. Everything is quiet, in your head. Like his touch alone could silence any worries that still floated around in your brain.

It’s one of the things you adore most about Jeonghan. He makes you feel safe.

“For the record, by the way,” you say, voice quiet, “I really do love you.”

There’s no noise but the metallic creak of the swing, sounding weirdly small in the yawning abyss of the dark. Jeonghan’s hand is still steady as he pushes you, again and again.

“As a friend?” he asks, eventually.

You can’t see him, and maybe that’s for the best. His voice is tinged with a colour, an emotion, that you can’t quite name, warm and cool and fleeting and present all at once.

Yet more silence greets his words. You continue swinging, and he continues helping.

It’s hard to know what he means by that. As a friend, in a hopeful way? As a friend, in a meaningful way? Or as a friend, in a way that could maybe, maybe, signal that he thinks, or wishes, that you mean... something else.

More.

These things are difficult to tell, when it comes to Jeonghan. Who wears his heart on his sleeve and yet also hides it away where no one can see.

“Yeah,” you say, after it has been far too long since he’d asked, but it’s clear that you were both waiting for your answer anyway. The word leaves you as a sigh, threadbare and thin. “As a friend.”

Jeonghan huffs a soft laugh. Maybe because he believes you, or maybe because he doesn’t. You’re not too sure.

“Okay,” he murmurs, pale as moonlight. “In which case, I love you too.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect @dokyeomkyeom @suraandsugar @haodore @tulsa24 @melodicrabbit

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ganondoodle · 2 months ago

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( OC, Eadrya, they/them, water demon )

"Oh don't look at me like that, is this the first time you've drawn blood or what? do it again! had a nice sting to it-" (Eadrya to Shargon, likely the first time Shargon's ever dared to fight them instead of fleeing immediately like his life depended on it ... bc it did)

finally gave Eadrya their deserved post character arc design (instead of doing what i should be)

since i know my handwriting isnt always readable, heres a short an overly long explanation of the context (oops)

(recap, the demon world was invaded and is believed to be destroyed, Eadrya lost a fight for the first time in their life to a celestial and survived by sheer luck and kindness of a little fishing village in the human realm, which kind of broke their pride and kickstarted their arc- (here i drew the lady in charge of the village before, though Eadryas design here is also a little out of date again ..)

-skipping alot in between that and the end of their arc bc that would jsut be too long for this post)

Eadrya helped other Lords and Shargon (with Midas and Idri) escape from a trap set by hunters but was captured themself, since it was the first time hunters managed to catch a Lord they 'researched' alot about demons using them .. by torturing them (demons are not considered sentient by people at large)

they managed to escape but were hunted down immediately, even Eadrya with their immense magic overproduction and abillity to recover was too drained (both literally of their strength -since the most effective way to hurt/immobilize a demon is draining them of their magic/blood faster than they can recover it- AND mentally) to easily avoid them and instead turned to killing, making them relapse into their old bloodthirst which lead to them spiraling into thinking that it is all they are ever good for and they will never be able to change-

Thor (with Idri) were on their way to free them after being informed of Eadryas capture ( Thor is Eadryas best and only friend ) but when they arrived it had already escalated so far that they went after killing Thor as well, now firmly believing Thor was never their friend but was simply trying to tame them out of fear of their power (not completely wrong ..). despite Thor with his two hearts being able to give Eadrya a second chance they decide to go for killing him twice, unintentionally missing the second time but doing enough damage for Thor to .. essentially fall into a near death condition; thinking they actually killed him everything starts to fall apart further as they realize over time they have changed after all but it is too late now-

Eadrya then flees into a snowy mountain range far away and lives there in complete isolation for several months (as a sort of .. self punishment and convinced of that being the best choice for everyone, they are a danger, they have no one left anyway etc trying to cope with it all) and thus grows out their fur (yes they always had fur, just short and slick like a seals fur) which they keep even after reuniting with Thor and everyone else later down the line

(the golden rope they wear in the picture was made by Thor during the time he was recovering and searching for them with the solar pirates (long story..), its not a good quality but he tried his best ... the two beads on it symbolize Thors two hearts (thunder and fire, blue and red)- Eadrya treasures it dearly)

so funnily enough, despite looking much wilder now they are actually much better in their self control and general health :P

#ganondoodles #art #original art #OCs #original character #character design #monsters #hello here i am again wanting to do a little doodle and then writing a badly summarized version of one of the best arcs in this story #for two hours straight bc summaries are not my strength lmao #either way ...... it made me draw so uwu #i love this guy (gender neutral) so much #did i ever mention that Thor has a bit of a one sided crush on Eadrya? .. well now i have #its complicated though bc Eadrya is my most aro/ace character in existence fjdkfvnhkdjfhvdjk #and i say MOST bc in a way all my characters are some flavor of aro or ace - who would have thought #(that doesnt mean you arent allowed to find them hot btw ... neither me being aro/ace nor my ocs being that means it)#(im always worried about people thinking that they cant say what they think trying to be considerate -appreaciated- but not necessary)#anyway sorry to come out of nowhere with this fnjkdbnfkdbgfvdj

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shrimsour · 1 month ago

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Introducing my timeskip medhammer Banland Warden Duo au! (BWD)

🔨⚕️ General info about the au

🔨⚕️ Read more for more au yappuccino

This is one of the rare times you'll see me post ship content as I'm usually not interested in them too much.

BWD has been in my head since late 2023 and was birthed from making scenarios to edit audios lmao, it's so riveting to finally visualize it and give it a name, designs and actually write some plot bunnies down.

And I'm so giddy to post this on tumblr bc I can yapp away all I want here 🦐🍋🦾 here's a lil treat for yall bc I love yall sm

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhEtW_IOLsAHh8aKxWBl3aVakPU-Z6but

This is essentially devil may cry 5 meets persona 5 meets adam sandler romcoms meets eldritch horror

🔨⚕️ Recommended to read general info first I won't be repeating myself here.

Content warning for themes of suicide, self harm, violence, body horror.

Yeah as you probably gathered Medkit is not doing too hot, he's pretty unstable while on the run. I'd like to add that Sword knows nothing and as far as he knows Medkit is missing again and probably somewhere dead in the ditch. Medkit sends his care packages anonymously to hospitals and takes zero credit for the people he manages to save. He paints his horns brown to not stand out (in DIH we trust) and trims his antlers branches to make himself less recognizable, this does little to keep the government (SFOTH) off his ass.

Medkit upgrades his gear and makes it so its like one of those all in one survival knives with like a fork and spoon when they fan out yk which ones, except for dangerous weapons. He can transform his suitcase like a rubikscube into a shotgun, sniper, automatic, sentry, minigun, clawed gloves, fucking CHAINSAW. The rest is just stuff that was alr there but he added special handles to keep it in place and better attack with it (so surgical knives, scissors, bandages for binding demons)

He's a sadist and at the same time masochist, quite a terrifying combo.

Banhammer is essentially like: I can fix him. Lol.

Medkit attains eternal youth and life with his crystals, which comes at a price of him slowly detoriating from the inside, his sanity following suit. He cannot heal that rot, it's always present yet he still gets urges, on numerous occasions he tried to stab himself enough times and then heal to get rid of it somehow. One such notorious scene is a scenario I call The bathtub scene. Medkit tries to CARVE the rot out of himself and bleeds in the bathtub (still during the wanted arc) and Banhammer discovers him on the brink of death. This is when Banhammer finds out for the first time abt what's been really going on with Medkit under the hood, as you can tell it's pretty traumatizing for both parties.

Medkit has a bit of hallucinations in the beginning of the wanted arc, and as Banhammer falls in love with him Medkit starts using him. Over time however Banhammer's genuine affection and care strikes a cord with Medkit and yes he slowly gets better!

When Banhammer joins him on his criminal crusade they team up to bust Church of the true eye, but in order to do that they need more information, a plan to infiltrate, and most importantly be real quiet abt the entire situation because of Ban's status. Medkit is convicned there are eye spies all around Inpherno and as such they need to use unconventional methods to travel all the way to Lost Temple and find the main base where all the higher ups are (Medkit was always restricted to warehouses and smaller offices)

They commit ultrakill doom eternal on they asses and Banhammer goes: mom but I love him 🥀🥀 and the SFOTH agree to let the unstable murderous artifical demigod live with the other extremely brash and violent natural demigod who can sort of keep him in reins, while the other does the same and makes Banhammer more empathetic towards mortals who he so calleously mocked before and disrespected. They both learn something valuable from eachother. Atp Medkit is almost 50 years old. Y am I mentioning this since he can't age anyways? Idk for timetables sake.

Medkit is then allowed to make himself public again. He reunites with Sword, but is forced to keep his job secret, he operates under an acronym in his other proffesional life. Medkit becomes pretty famous and is credited for the mysterious great leaps in medicine in recent years, he's invited to talk shows and interviews, all of that ofc in his black death doctor mask, he walks in that in the upper levels of Banland too.

🔨⚕️ Fun trivia

Medkit often pays magazines to write articles insulting his strength compared to his husband so he has an easier time dealing with escapees who make escape plans thinking he's stupid.

Medkit is the brains, Banhammer is the brawns.

Once during spin the bottle everyone tried to guess his job and he was guessed to be a stripper, assassin or government agent. He's a bit of all of them.

Since he has revolutionized Banland's security systems and added a bazillion cameras, Banland has become impenetrable and 99.9% inescapable.

Banhammer can view footage real-time from any of those cameras anytime he wants with the visor Medkit built for him.

Medkit is quite sadistic to terrible people imprisoned in the deepest parts of Banland, and due to them having a life sentence word never gets out how downright freaky and crazy he is.

In the upper banlands word is that those who saw his face never see the light of day again.

As far as the public knows he's very calm, stoic and professional in his work.

Banhammer and Medkit have very different ways of capturing criminals, contrary to popular belief Medkit is more brutal because he straight up murders you and then you wake up in a cell. which is why Medkit is mostly relegated to managing and running the prison while Banhammer does off field missions. It's bad for PR!

Medkit uses hologram tech to change his horns when he needs it.

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booty-uprooter · 1 year ago

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some tips on how to make bosses easier if youre feeling theyre too hard:

play a ranged physical dps class. that way you can hang back to keep an eye on the arena and what the boss is doing without having to worry about needing to stand still long enough to complete an induction

on that note, inductions are considered finished before the bar is full. you can usually move right before it fills and still have it go off, but it takes some trial and error to figure out how close you can cut it

move your ui around. my own life was made immeasurably easier when i put the target right above my hotbar so i wouldnt have to pay attention to both the top and bottom of the screen at the same time, but try stuff out and see what works best for you

the best time to mitigate an attack is right before the boss finishes casting it. the second best time is as soon as the mit becomes available, every time it becomes available

use addle and feint. you almost never see these used in casual content and it's a waste because they really are extremely useful skills at any level

use arm's length and surecast. there are some knockbacks they dont work on but those are rare. if you know youre gonna get pushed, use these and you probably won't get pushed

take advantage of duty support. the npcs know the mechanics. watch them and let them teach you

particle effects cant hurt you (usually). with the exception of puddles that stay on the ground for a while or layered stacks like akh morn, as long as youre not standing on the marker when it disappears (or are if it's a stack), you're in the clear. feel free to move through the animation if necessary. more and more mechanics require you to do so to be in position for the next one in time

it's usually fine to let spread markers overlap. just, yknow, make sure another person isnt in yours (though its the responsibility of anyone without a spread to keep themselves out of harms way)

when in doubt, ask your party members. it's extremely rare to match with a group of randos and have everyone be a first-timer. most players are happy to help, and the ones that know the mechanics but are bad at explaining them will usually just stick a marker on themselves (usually a triangle) for you to follow

read your tool tips. boss fights are as much a test of how well you know your class as they are your ability to read and react to mechanics. unless youre playing a healer or paladin, youre going to use your entire kit, so make sure you know what everything does

on that note, freecure is a scam. once you get cure ii/benefic ii, you will never need cure or benefic again. keep them on your hotbar for when you get synced content if you wish, but otherwise you do not need them. do not use them

if you play multiple classes, try to keep skills that do the same/similar things at the same spot on your hotbar. this isn't always possible bc despite what some may claim, not all classes of the same type are actually identical, but it will save you a lot of headaches

entirely new and unique mechanics are rare to the point of being nigh nonexistent. everything is a remix of something else and practicing in lower level content can actually be a big help

look up guides. the internet is full of them in pretty much whatever form works best for you (though they can be of admittedly variable quality)

turn down party effects. theyre on one of the tabs under character configuration > controls. if you put them on minimum you can still see heals and such but you wont have your screen constantly full of explosions

turn on target health percentage. this one is under character configuration > ui. it lets you better see how close the boss is to going down

make summons smaller. we all love titan's ass but not when it's the only thing you can see. "/petsize all small" will make this problem go away

relax and have fun. panicking leads to mistakes, which can lead to worse mistakes. if you need to take a second to breathe, do so. your party members probably wont mind waiting a minute or two between pulls

#ffxiv #zack's random nonsense

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miwiheroes · 3 months ago

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Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Day 33: Love Triangle Imagery . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

Hi so..... this is super awkward bc I don't think I've done one of these in almost a MONTH??? honestly it's because of low motivation, nothing to do with my interest in byler or stranger things analysis. I also have lots of ideas its just very hard to find the motivation lately to do one of these. Anyways, now that I'm pretty much back to doing these, I can carry on making the slides for these as well (bc im compiling all these posts into a slideshow that I'll release prior to S5, depending on how confident I am in byler by then).

So, as you probably know, a lot of Mileven fans or general fans of the show refuse to believe that there is a true love triangle between Will, Mike and El. I don't think that they are refusing to see it because they are stupid or because they are media illiterate (although maybe it comes to that), I think a lot of Mileven fans refuse to see the imagery because they know that if there truly is a love triangle then their ship is dead. They know, deep down, that if there was a love triangle there, then Mike's "better option" is Will. Or that Mike will end up with Will, based on how love triangles usually work in ST or other shows.

If an existence of a love triangle is there, then byler has to be canon. It would make no sense (and Milevens know this) to make a new love triangle where the original relationship ends up together in the end while the other character moves on.

This is a queer love triangle too. One ship is straight and the other is queer. We need to take that into account and not ignore it. The writers, some of whom are queer, should know that it would be a poor message for the queer relationship to be the one that is tossed aside.

Mileven has been purposefully shown to seem unhealthy and disingenuous, and Will doesn't know the true extent of that, so he selflessly gives up his own feelings for the other relationship.

El needs to be independent and needs to understand freedom from the men in her life.

So, if a love triangle does exist, then we should know which side will end up being the endgame relationship. But this is denied by a lot of people (for example):

The show spells it out that this is a love triangle so, so many times. I'm just going to talk about the imagery in this post, but there are so many things that point toward a love triangle. E.g. -- the parallels between Byler and Mileven which show that Byler is either just as loving as Mileven or more so, Will sacrificing his feelings for Mike, and Will literally having feelings for Mike.

This one is obviously the main one^^. This shot, on the surface, shows that Will is "getting between" Mike and El's relationship. Keep in mind that this is after the van scene where we have no idea what Mike is thinking. This isn't just a show of how sad Will is because of Mike and El's relationship either, because he's shown to be completely happy 2 seconds later.

In fact, it is actually Mike who looks between El and Will and seems upset or questioning. It's Mike's feelings that are beginning to become the wedge between him and El, not Will's feelings. Will is literally the one trying to glue their relationship back together -- so why put him here?

It's to show that he's getting between them in a different way -- not of his own fault. He's indirectly causing conflict for Mileven because of Mike's feelings.

This scene is different here because they purposefully put Will between Mike and El to make you feel bad for him. These scenes are not about Mileven's relationship/ how good they are for each other. The "cuteness" of their relationship is not something that's supposed to make you feel good, in fact, it's supposed to make you feel bad for Will who has to watch that.

In a love triangle, you're supposed to root for a specific relationship, and good writers will try and make you root for the relationship that will happen, in order for the viewers to feel satisfied. This shot just creates negative feelings about Mileven, which would be odd if they ended up staying together.

The funny thing about this one is that Netflix has begun to use this shot for S5 "promo" (its literally not promo, but yknow). They would only use this shot either because they are the most important characters in S5, or because their love triangle is one of the major romantic plot points that ends up paying off.

Also, after this shot -- Mike ends up stood next to Will. This is to show which "side" he has chosen, if you read between the lines. Despite literally just making a love 'confession' to El, the writers still had Mike stand next to Will instead.

This piece of imagery is similar to the last one in that Mike is choosing whose opinion he finds the most important. He is effectively in conflict with both Will and El, and his hands are crossed, showing that he is tied up between both of them. However, the directors chose to include a separate shot where Mike chooses to look to his left, where Will is:

This shows whose argument/ conflict he cares the most about. Even though he can't say anything to Will yet, he wants to see his reaction and what he's thinking.

In this one, the disco ball is purposefully placed between Mike and Will. This is definitely purposeful because the camera moves enough between the scene where Mike leaves to go find socks and the scene where he comes back to have it placed in the middle of Mike and Will. Read more about this if you search up the hashtag discogate >:))

Here are some more pieces of love triangle imagery that I can't say much about except LITERALLY LOOK!!! the writers are trying to show you that they are a trio of people with a complicated romantic storyline!!!

The imagery here is supposed to show a love triangle at first. But a lot of it just points towards the fact there is no other choice other than Byler. Most of the time it shows El and Mike being either the main couple with Will looking at Mike on the sidelines (making the audience feel bad for him) or it shows Mike choosing Will while El is independent or on her own.

Idk, with these you just can't deny that there is some sort of a love triangle, and when you acknowledge that there is one, it is extremely clear what is going to happen with it.

#byler #byler endgame #mike wheeler #will byers #stranger things #byler evidence #byler proof #miwiheroes daily byler

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crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington · 1 year ago

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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶

i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)

have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖

i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...

i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned

mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭

i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔

i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends

i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about

people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled

in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol

the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭

its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭

mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)

i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.

its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!

she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!

she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"

she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)

she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.

he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.

THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.

she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7

but again, those are the consequences of HER actions

her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭

their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"

its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!

you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)

everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.

obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.

the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"

she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!

just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.

im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!

im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.

i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!

i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process

talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol

i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭

its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.

all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.

i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.

also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!

thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!

#mia winters #resident evil #ethan winters #mithan

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baphometsss · 8 months ago

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On Solas's romantic history

Okay. I know what the consensus is. That he’s way too smooth in Inquisition to be inexperienced but... (and I’m fully prepared to get shat on for this lmao don’t kill me)

When he kisses Lavellan, that doesn’t read to me like he’s super suave and seductive. It reads more like—endeared by them trying to run away after kissing him, then being so surprised by how good the kiss felt, that he grabs Lavellan, kisses them again, pulls back with a surprised look on his face, and then goes in for more. It’s touch-starved, desperate, hungry. It’s not really all that smooth because he’s literally bending them over backwards lmao like Solas can you chill maybe

He is very smooth when flirting with Lavellan, but he's also an absolute gobshite who's spent thousands of years sassing the hell out of wannabe gods so that's not a surprise. He's witty af and enjoys some back and forth.

Solas is a very lonely man. He keeps everyone at arm’s length because he’s seen what getting close to people can do to him. His biggest fear is dying alone, and he almost gives into that because it’s what he believes he deserves for all he’s done. His life has been so stressful for so long that he's almost totally unable to consider anything else but his battles. He even says explicitly that he's tired.

That doesn’t make me think of someone who was out there in Ancient Elvhenan sleeping around all those years. No doubt he considered it, but he likely didn't pursue much with anyone physical; he enjoyed spending as much time as possible in the Fade. (The banter with Blackwall doesn't count to me personally since Solas himself thinks the whole idea is preposterous, which speaks for itself really.) Especially after being a slave/servant to Mythal seems to have voided him of his agency for some time. Then he led a rebellion and fought for thousands of years against brutal tyrants. Any one of the people he was close to could’ve been trying to kill him. Lavellan, however, has no reason to do so, so he can flirt with them freely. In all that time, it seems as though the only people he allowed to get close to the real him were Felassan and Mythal. I don’t think he slept with either, because the relationship was familial. Felassan was also loyal to Mythal, but didn’t burn his vallaslin off. (Is this a right hand/left hand of the Divine parallel again? Two brothers and their mother? Idk, I need to think about that one). For creatures with bodies made from the blood of Titans, they don’t have blood families. They would’ve had to forge their own, which is what Solas did with Mythal and Felassan.

And then there’s his ‘it has been a long time’. Most have taken this to mean that it’s been a long time since he’s been intimate with someone, but given what we know now and that he spent thousands of years in the Fade while his body was in uthenera… I wonder if he’s actually saying-- ‘it has been a long time since I lived in a body’-- ie. ‘it has been a long time since I felt physical drives, a long time since I have felt so physically real’. To me, this makes a lot more sense than the ‘he’s thousands of years old he can’t possibly be a virgin/inexperienced’ take bc like... My friends. It probably didn’t feel like thousands of years to him bc he’s essentially always existed. Time is different for spirits. It’s not like he’s gonna go: ‘well I’m nearly 4000y/o, better lose my v-card’. Time is no object when you are a timeless being. Then, given the path his life took, it wouldn’t make a lot of sense for him to be that experienced given how hard it is for him to trust.

I also personally headcanon him as heavily demisexual/demiromantic too. His true nature is so non-physical that the idea of him being very promiscuous or something just doesn’t fit his character. He needs a mental connection, to feel something, before sharing much of himself, or allowing himself the vulnerability intimacy brings, something he clearly feels with Lavellan based on how shaken up by it he is.

And it’s also canon that Solas has never been in love before meeting Lavellan. So. If he went however many millennia without falling in love, it’s also possible he went without intimacy for a long time too.

To be clear I’m not trying to say that this is the correct conclusion. My opinion has just changed a little since Veilguard (I used to think he was being smooth etc bc he's old af/v experienced, but with confirmation of former spirit Solas it’s changed my perspective somewhat)

Also:

‘Things have always been easier for me in the Fade’

‘I am not often thrown by things that happen in dreams’ my man is shooketh guys SHOOKETH

#solas #solavellan #dragon age spoilers #dragon age

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lastoneout · 4 months ago

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I try not to talk shit about boycotts even if they are the kind that historically don't do any good because I believe in harm reduction and every little bit helps, and also bcs I don't want to discourage people from taking action...but the people saying we just have to keep up the economic blackout for the rest of the foreseeable future and if you need anything just get it from "local/small businesses" clearly all live in cities and/or are not disabled.

Sometimes Walmart is legit your ONLY option for groceries in small towns, and that's because Walmart intentionally drove all the independent stores out of business. I spent a lot of my childhood in a village with a population of 200(and I've spent a lot of my life living in different small towns) and the only local restaurant was open like a handful of completely random days out of the year and when the owner died they closed. If you wanted to buy anything you're either driving to the nearest bigger town to shop at a Walmart or Food Lion or Win-Dixie or Safeway because those are your only options, or buying stuff online and hoping the shipping fees don't cost more than the product itself/that they deliver to your neck of the woods AT ALL.

And that's not even getting into how disability can complicate this. Try buying everything you need at small local businesses when you don't have a car, don't have good/any public transit, the nearest post office is in a different town, you likely aren't getting proper treatment because the only specialist who can help is a 2 hour drive away, your mobility is limited/you're in a wheelchair or use another mobility aid, and you get like less than $1k a month in gov benefits and like $200 in EBT. Most local businesses have to upcharge because they aren't Walmart and $1k a month is NOT enough to shop at them for all your needs. Barely enough to shop for one of your needs, tbh. And these people cannot just leave because that $1300 bucks goes a lot farther in the ass end of nowhere than it does in a city that could actually meet your needs. There's no winning.

(Also sorry if someone has autism or ARFID and all they can stomach is McDonalds or idk Hot Pockets and Uncrustables then I think they deserve to be left the fuck alone to eat whatever food they can. Disabled people get a pass on this, because disabled people suffering and dying is bad and society already treats us like subhuman freaks. Fun tip! If you see your disabled friend who has food texture issues eating chicken nuggets from McDonalds you can try leaving them the fuck alone about it! Hope that helps!! (Like dude I hate shopping at Whole Foods but that is the store with the biggest gluten free section. And I need to eat.)

And like the most annoying thing is that NONE of the people posting about this are suggesting like, any form of mutual aid to support people who can't currently take part for one reason or another? Which is why it doesn't fucking work. Capitalism makes you complicit, it destroys all your other options so that you have to buy from big corporations, and lobbies to ensure this is legal and also all of your non-private options for transportation and necessities are shit and get replaced by slightly better private options BUT only until they reveal they were only being "good" to destroy their competition and now are going to be even worse than the places they ran out of business.

(Also like, I love local businesses too and try to shop at them as much as I can...but they aren't always more ethical than the alternative and acting like they are is profoundly disconnected from reality. In 2016 when I lived in Flagstaff, AZ we voted to raise the state minimum wage to $10 an hour, and Flagstaff specifically voted for $15. This was needed, rent on a studio apartment in 2016 was like $1k and that was BEFORE utilities and internet. And it almost worked, only a coalition of small business owners threw such a massive fit about having to possibly pay their employees enough to survive in an insanely expensive city to live in that the city council REVERSED THE DECISION. Flagstaff is honestly a ridiculously classist city, beat only by the evil rich people paradise that is fucking Sedona(which is almost entirely local businesses, who are owned by people who voted against setting aside one parking lot at a charity for PEOPLE TO SLEEP IN THEIR CARS because you cannot live in Sedona unless you're rich, and the rich people there don't really care if the person working at the crystal shop can't afford to eat or is living out of their car.) Anyway, the poor people in Flagstaff had their say, but our say was not considered good enough, and was fucking overruled to protect the interests of rich assholes who would absolutely love to continue to be able to treat us all like shit and pay us nothing. So yeah. Small/local does NOT mean ethical. I've seen franchised fast food restaurants treat their employees better and pay them more than some small local ones do. And that's not even getting in to how a lot of local businesses are NOT accessible for people with mobility aids. Half the stores on 4th Ave are so small my wheelchair can't fit comfortably inside or have stairs at the entrance. It's always more complicated than just "buy local".)

The people who can afford to avoid stores like Walmart are probably already doing it(you couldn't pay me to go into a Walmart unless it was absolutely necessary, I fucking hate that place SO goddamn much that it legit gives me panic attacks if I'm in there for too long) and the ones who can't afford it can't afford it, and you are offering absolutely no support to help fix that. It's just "shop local! don't go to Walmart or use Amazon!! don't use your debit card!!" with no acknowledgement of those intentionally being the only options a lot of people can fucking afford or that exist at all. That's how capitalism works!! You can't fight it by refusing to accept how it controls people's lives, and pushing people to take part in a broad, directionless boycott with no consideration for the reality of living in America right now or help offered to vulnerable people who legit cannot just shop local is doomed to fail.

If you can shop local(and know the local shops aren't run by power-mad capitalists playing pretend as feudal lords and are not at all better in terms of ethical business than Walmart) and avoid Target and Walmart and McDonalds, by all means, do. If you can help your friends, family, or community members do the same then DO IT. But if your only suggestion is just "stop shopping at anywhere owned by a capitalist" then I'm sorry you have no idea how boycotts work, shouldn't be organizing one, and absolutely should not be pressuring people who cannot reasonably take part without mutual aid offering to support them for however long it goes on for to just, idk fucking starve themselves and die for the greater good.

The Montgomery Bus Boycott worked because the community came together to make sure everyone who took part had a way to get to work and school and the grocery store and the doctor's office. It's just like a strike, you need mutual aid and money to make it possible for people to do it at all, and it does need to be targeted if it's going to register as anything more than a blip on the radar. Pooling money to split a Costco membership with your roommates or neighbors or family and giving them rides there when they need it so you can all spend at a company that has stood up to Trump instead of caving, or idk vandalizing all the Teslas in uh, Minecraft, does more to take money out of the pockets of companies like Walmart and Target and Tesla than shouting at marginalized people on BlueSky about how if they don't figure out how to shop local they're complicit in the evils of capitalism and clearly don't care about building a better world.

#sorry this has been pissing me off #I've been muting people on bsky about it #y'all have no idea what life in rural america is like or what it's like to be disabled and are completely uninterested in learning #and not only does it show it's fucking embarrassing #us politics #current events

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