#whereas watching and dreaming kicked ass

[rosemaidenvixen]

Titan brainrot got me so bad I'm making memes

[ticklishraspberries]

Intimacy (Alex/Henry)

Summary: Henry wants to sleep in and cuddle, but Alex is awake and fidgety. Laughter ensues. (For Day 2 of @august-anon's weekly Tickletober prompts!! Thanks to everyone who voted for this ship and I hope you all enjoy the fic!!)

Henry has spent so many years of his life without affection.

His family is distant, all but Bea, whose love usually comes in quick hugs, the occasional ruffle of his hair. Henry’s love life has only been able to exist in the shadows, hidden by his family. Any feelings were pushed down, just trying to get by with hook-ups and longing glances.

When Alex comes around, the touch comes slow: It starts with the occasional accidental brushes, knuckles and knees bumping together. Then, the passionate kissing, the sex. They start with sex, then love and intimacy, those things have to come after. It’s easier that way for them both.

Alex grew up differently, surrounded by love. His parents, his sister, his friends and past girlfriends. But he was always so busy with school, with following his dreams and helping his family. Affection wasn’t as foreign to him, but true intimacy with a romantic partner wasn’t something he had much experience with.

Now, their love is in full swing, everything is intimate and beautiful and Henry receives affection at a much higher rate than he’s used to, and it’s simultaneously weird and perfect. They love each other fiercely, and they’re always touching.

Henry’s always been an early riser, Alex too, but after late nights talking and touching, they find themselves sleeping in. Well, Henry is sleeping in, and holding Alex hostage with him.

“Baby, I was gonna order breakfast for us,” he mutters.

Henry groans. “No, you’re staying here.”

Alex gives a fond chuckle. “Are you holding me hostage in this bed?”

Snuggling closer, Henry hums in affirmation. He nuzzles his face into the crook of Alex’s neck, pressing a gentle kiss there.

Alex squirms, a hopeless smile curling on his face. “Watch it.”

“Watch what? Am I tickling you?” Henry asks.

“No,” Alex replies, unconvincingly, his smile evident in his voice. “I just don’t want to lay in bed all day, your royal laziness.”

Henry gives a playful gasp and brings his fingers to Alex’s bare side, spidering his fingers over tanned skin with the precision of a pianist. He knows it’s technically only going to wake them both up more, going against his original goal of keeping them in bed longer, but those giggles are just too tempting. He couldn’t resist, pressing those kisses into his neck while simultaneously tickling his sides, making Alex squirm like mad, soft giggles quickly transforming into genuine laughter.

Alex had grown up being tickled by June, and tickling her back, whereas Henry’s experience with tickling had been much less frequent. His father had done it when he was a child, and Bea had done it a little more. Still, he had to learn all of Alex’s spots, figure out how to poke and scribble in the right ways. It hadn’t been very hard, considering Alex is very sensitive and incredibly responsive. Henry likes knowing that Alex isn’t just laughing out of anticipation or the silliness of the situation, but because he’s actually doing a good job at tickling.

“Baby, c’mon,” Alex whines. “If I stay in bed, will you cut it out?”

Henry’s fingers dance up to his ribs. “Hmm…Maybe?”

“That’s so not fair!” Alex snorts, trying to roll away and getting tangled in the bedsheets, his legs kicking uselessly. It’s a pretty adorable sight, and Henry is so smitten.

“Well, if I’m tickling you, you are technically still in bed. I win either way.”

“You’re such an ass,” Alex replied, batting uselessly at his hands.

Henry nipped at his collarbone as a little punishment for the comment. He was such a brat, and Henry loved him for it. He loved his touch, his laugh, his sassy comments.

Now that he has this love, this affection in his life, he’s never going to give it up.

[badkitty3000]

What do you think Klaus think Five's ideal type is?

Klaus and Five are my absolute favorite dynamic, in case you hadn't noticed :)

So, here's my take. Klaus has a fandom reputation as being the out-to-lunch weirdo and screw-up (I am guilty of doing this as well). And he is...but they all are, so that's not really fair. Klaus is actually very observant of his surroundings, as well as people. It's just that he usually doesn't bother telling anybody anything of note because historically no one listens to him anyway, and after a lifetime of being ignored or laughed at, he has learned to keep most things to himself. But I would say he is the one that has actually paid closer attention to Five since he returned than any of them have.

He is the only one that acknowledges how lonely Five must have been during his time in the Apocalypse (well, Luther kind of does too I guess). He's the only one that actually listens to Five most of the time and wants to spend time with him, whereas everyone else either brushes Five off or blames him for everything ("You're a good brother"😭😭) . He notices that Five is wearing aftershave! 😂

Knowing all of that, I believe Klaus would have a really good grasp on the kind of person Five should be with. He'd be a good wing-man if they were out at a bar. I could see some very cute but dumb-looking girl wandering over to try and talk to Five, but Klaus spies her first and gets in between them, blocking her path. He looks her up and down, judging her, then starts firing questions off like some sort of sphynx with riddles that must be answered correctly before anyone can get by.

"Quick, what is the capital of Zimbabwe?"

She looks blankly up at him. "What?"

"What is the square root of 6,789 rounded to the nearest 100th?"

She stands there, blinking vacantly. "What?"

Klaus waves her off with a dismissive hand. "Shoo...get out of here. You aren't fit to breathe the same air as my brother."

He would know that Five needs someone extremely smart and nurturing, but feisty and sexual at the same time.

Five walks up to Klaus, looking confused and frowning. "The weirdest thing just happened to me. I overheard this woman say she was a pediatric oncologist that volunteers at homeless shelters, but when she walked up to the bar she threatened to kick me in the balls if I didn't get out of her way, then she smacked me on the ass."

Klaus looks excitedly around the bar. "Well don't let her get away, Fivey! Go after her!"

"What are you talking about?"

"That's your dream woman, dummy! I can hear wedding bells already! Go on...go get her, you sexy freak, you!"

Klaus turns Five around by the shoulders and shoves him in the general direction of the woman, while Five just ambles away, completely dumbfounded, but also not arguing. Klaus watches with a smile on his face as he orders another drink and silently congratulates himself on his superb match-making skills.

I feel like I could write a whole long, hilarious scenario of Klaus playing matchmaker for Five, but I'll stop since this is getting too long already. But to sum it up, Klaus would know best out of everyone who would be a good match for Five. Maybe even more than Five would! A smart, sweet, but sexy and strong lady that could hold her own against his ex-assassin brother. And probably someone he'd get along with himself, because Klaus is also a bit selfish and he wouldn't want to hang out with anyone he wasn't also compatible with. 😂

[wanderingpages]

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾Gentle Sins AU☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

“Are you going to help me take my clothes off too?” I meant it to sound teasing – I wanted to show him I could play his game too – but I was breathless, I was buzzing with anticipation.

“You know it wouldn’t end there, Jude,” he gave me a wry look. “It's a shame,” he rose and ruffled my hair, “It's a shame you’re my sister,” he murmured, needlessly reminding me. “Because that was some damn fine pussy, baby.”e pussy, baby.”

TFOTA // All Human // AU : Jude and Cardan do things step-siblings shouldn't do.

Trigger Warnings: Crude language, Allusions to Drugs/Alcohol, Debauching Catholicism/Religious Metaphors, Taboo Sex.

Shout out @headcannonxgalore, even though she has nothing to do with this fandom, she kept me in check lol

Jude's POV

When it’s my first year of college, it’s his third. He lives on campus – in a frat house, I think, but as far as I know, Cardan’s not actually in a frat, just an honorary member who’s never been hazed or rushed. He doesn’t play any sports but he’s at all the games, never organizes a party or fundraiser but still the reason people even show up. He doesn’t own a Grecian alphabet dotted ring, but a bomber jacket instead, with ‘Greenbriar’ above the Greek letters. He’s cool, I guess, but I hate that I’m not the only one to notice.

Despite the first day of the semester, when he told me, “Mom and Dad said to watch out for you,” as he plucked the phone in my hand, furrowing his brows as he read through my schedule, I haven’t spoken to him since, and finals were only two weeks away now. I’m not complaining; I’ve lived my whole life without his help, I can surely live out the rest of it the same way, too. It doesn’t help that he plagues a lot of my waking dreams, though. I take a religion class that I constantly debate on dropping because all I can think about is the utter blasphemy that went on in the church our parents got married in. Still, I pull through for the sake of understanding Asha and why all the Jesus paraphernalia she’s added to our home makes my skin crawl. I don’t remember her being so god-fearing prior to the wedding, but if it’s her hobby, I wanted a way to relate.

I lie when I speak to our parents, when they ask how he’s been and how he’s treating me. I tell them he’s great and we’re good, and maybe he lies too because they never point out any inaccuracies. I see Cardan in passing sometimes, when I guess he leaves his first class of the week and I’m heading to my second. Today, the girl on his arm is brunette, last week was a blonde pixie cut. His taste is diverse; I wish I hadn’t been paying enough attention to know that. As they near, Cardan gives me a nod like he always does, but I have to do a double take today. The girl next to him could be my twin if I weren’t an only child.

“Thanks for the notes, Taryn,” Cardan says before separating from her and making a u-turn to me, in a surprising twist of events. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Uh…” I glance over to the girl – Taryn, picking out all our differences, trying to make it out-way the similarities. Long auburn hair – more dark and red in hue than my light chestnut color – in tousled waves, framing her heart shaped face, full lips like the ones on my face that I touch tentatively, sun kissed skin like mine, but still easy to see the pink in her cheeks. Her eyes are darker than mine, and freckles dot across her cheeks whereas I just have a single, small, dark one under my eye. Even her curves match mine, however her’s is softer than what I’ve tried to tone all summer long. I feel a little queasy, watching her walk into a room.

“Who’s ass do I have to kick?” He has a pointer finger under my chin, I feel cold metal graze my skin where a lone ring rests today. I asked him at the wedding if they meant anything, but he laughed and told me he just liked how they looked. I like pretty things, little sister. And I like adorning myself with them, too.

He guides my gaze to his, tilting my chin up slightly. My eyes widen just a fraction at his swollen lips. I lean back just a little, taking in the bigger picture. His dark hair is ruffled, more askew than it had been the day of the wedding. Of course, it had rained later that day, matting waves over his face. My fingers twitch now, wanting to fix the mess just as I had tried to fix his damp hair before. Down his neck are a few pink splotches that seem to be disappearing now, and at the collar of his shirt, on the skin peeking through the neckline, I see faint scratches, four equal lines running beneath the cotton. “As your big brother,” he murmurs, leaning closer to me, like we’re sharing secrets. “I think the saying goes that nobody bullies my sister but me, right?” I bat his hand away, shaking my head. I hate when he calls me his sister. I hate when he reminds me that he’s my brother. I hate when he refers to my dad as his dad. I hate that I’m tainted by just being a bystander to his sacrilege. I hate that barely-there glint in his eyes when he knows something I wish he didn’t. He catches my wrist before it falls to the side, his thumb running over the bright red knuckles, uncovered today, looking at them disapproving for a fleeting moment.

I snatch my hand back, giving him an almost petulant look. I’m nervous, I try to tell him with my eyes, hoping he won't ask. It’s not the first time he’s seen my battered fingers and it probably won't be the last either. It’s the end of my first semester and every day feels like I’m closer to impending doom; of course my nervous tick has been amplified. “We barely talk,” I narrow my eyes at him, “let alone do you get the chance to bully me.”

He holds his hands up, palms facing me as if to say he’s surrendered. “You’re right,” he admits. “I’m not taking my role very seriously.” I want to bash my head in because I don’t want him to take his role seriously. I don’t even want him in the role. He’s absolutely not joking, though however teasing he may sound. I’ve played out every interaction we’ve had together, all I can count on one hand, and there’s always something underlying to them. I wonder, belatedly, if Cardan actually hates me. Or maybe it was my dad and he was taking it out on me? Maybe I should have asked during that car ride, or during that dance we shared, or maybe when we were outside right before the storm. Maybe that’s why he’d acted as he had that night, why he had said what he said about our parents.

“Cardan…” I trail off, not knowing what to say, but I suppose I don’t really have to say anything.

“There’s a get together at the house,” he explains, and I know he means his house, the frat house. “Swing by on Saturday. Tell them you’re with me.” He takes hold of my bag and I’m too startled to stop him.

“I’m with you,” I repeat in disbelief.

He shrugs, “Or just tell them your mine.” My heart must have stopped for a moment. “My little sister. It’s all up to you, Jude.” His words have weight I don’t want to hold and it makes me uncomfortable. “Your class is down the hall, right?” He changes the topic so swiftly and it takes me a second to catch up with him. I guess he had remembered my schedule.

“Why are you guys having a party so close to finals?” I finally ask, while I attempt to take my bag back. He holds it out of my reach and brushes my hand away.

“Why not?” he counters, making my brain rattle. Every time we talk, it feels like pulling teeth. I give up and let him hold my bag.

“Sure,” I say, hoping it surprises him that I’d want to attend his party. He only smiles wider.

“So, how’s having Asha as a parent?” he asks, conversely, confusing me with his subject changes. A whole year, and now he decides on small talk?

I frown, and decide to be truthful “She’s great. I’ve had to do my own hair since I was five years old,” I laugh a little, wringing my fingers. “It was nice to have her brush it every once in a while.” My brows crinkle and my lips purse, “Though, I had to go to church a few Sundays. I didn’t know she was that religious,” I admit. “I’m not even Catholic. I don’t think Dad even had me baptized.”

Cardan chuckles in surprise, “Church? Yeah, that does sound just like her.” The way he says it makes me think that this is not like her at all. Maybe it was just a hobby she spontaneously picked up after getting married. Bored housewife syndrome or something.

“Yeah well,” I reach the door of my class and give him a pointed look, “No one warned me.” He holds the door open for me and passes me my bag. He doesn’t respond because maybe he doesn’t have to. I was there that night too, and nothing could have ever prompted me to stop our course of action to talk about my stepmother.

He follows a lock of my hair with his finger, twists the curl and tugs it lightly, childishly. “See you, little sister.” I wait for him to leave before I roll my eyes heavenwards.

I wait a few minutes in class before I excuse myself to the bathroom. The halls are empty now so it’s easier to navigate. I back track to where Cardan usually comes from, confused when I only see a storage room at the end of that specific hall. I feel uneasy as I figure it out. I guess it wasn’t that hard to begin with. “Notes, my ass,” I mutter.

With trepidation, I open the door, more heavy than other doors in this building, but unlocked, nonetheless. There’s a string that dangles from the ceiling, so I pull it, letting the light shine before I shift my weight from the door, and let it slowly shut behind me. It does hold a few cleaning supplies, but it’s mostly empty. I can smell that subtle amber fragrance Cardan always smells like. I grimace, feeling dirty being in here. I lean back against the door, finding myself wondering if the lights are on or off when he’s in here. If she’s leaning against a shelf, grasping at the panels to hold her up, or if she’s facing them instead, her back to him, resting her cheek on the lowest shelf, hands behind her back while he holds on to them, fucking her rough and quiet. In my head, the girl is Taryn, I tell myself.

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Masterlist

Gentle Sins Masterlist

[briamichellewrites]

41

Mike had a younger brother named Jason Aiko Shinoda. Growing up, they had a typical brotherly relationship. That is to say, they occasionally bothered one another. They realised how much they missed each other as they got older. Particularly after Mike left for college. He checked in with his younger brother to see how he was. Jason wished to become a landscape architect. Mike was very excited for him to pursue his dreams. He could not wait to see something he designed someday.

Jason possessed a distinct personality from his brother. He was outgoing, like Bria, whereas Mike was more laid-back. Instead of jumping into something, he preferred to assess the situation before acting. He looked at things from all sides to ensure he was making the right decision. Their two opposing personalities kept each other in check.

Jason had arrived in town after flying in from Amherst, Massachusetts. While in her studio, he spent time with Bria, Mike, and Bradford. They were joking around like they always did. She joked about kicking his ass, which made him laugh. Bradford was enjoying himself as he watched them. She mentioned the idea of designing a house. They wanted to learn more about her ideas. She had the financial resources to create whatever she desired.

She had been researching ideas online and fell in love with the country look, which included a recording studio, a two-story master closet, a movie theatre, high fencing and a multiple-car garage. Bradford asked why she wanted a two-story master closet.

"Because she enjoys shopping. I believe that would be impractical. Unless you want to use some of the space as storage," Mike explained.

“No, the storage would go in the basement. I plan to use a moveable wall to conceal it, as well as the washer and dryer. Because those things are ugly. What about a bar area?"

“You are not even twenty one yet," Mike stated.

“A dry bar that serves soda and snacks."

That is something he can do. Bradford never thought washers and dryers were "ugly." They were just a regular part of the house. As she talked, she came up with more ideas, such as a guest apartment, a cat/dog room for them to hang out in, an indoor pool and a fish tank wall. Mike jokingly enquired whether she would be paying her house cleaner more money.

"You have a housecleaner?" Bradford enquired, surprised.

“Yes, she does. Welcome to the world of the ultra wealthy," Mike told him.

Bradford wanted to see what wardrobe she was using, so they went up to her master bedroom. It was enormous! There was a wall between the bedroom and the bathroom. She had a bathtub, a toilet, and a space to do her makeup and hair. Her shower was spacious enough for another bathtub. Behind that was her closet, where her clothes were neatly folded or hung. Her handbags and shoes were neatly arranged behind glass doors, as if in a museum.

Her handbags, shoes, and clothing could help them pay off their student loans. She earned some of her money by working since she was twelve years old. Her wealthy parents contributed the remaining portion. If he had billions of dollars, he would buy a nice guitar, a nice house, and a nice car. He planned to donate the remainder to charity.

She could afford to throw money away without giving it a second thought. Jason offered to accompany her to the home improvement store to select items. She thought that was a fantastic idea. The boys accompanied her back downstairs to the kitchen. She took four sodas from the refrigerator and placed them on the counter. The boys each grabbed one.

After Bradford and Mike had left, Jason put his arm around her shoulders. They returned up to her room and shut the door. She turned on her boom box radio and opened a window before joining him on the floor. He brought a book bag with him, which he left behind during the tour of her bedroom. Inside, he had his bong and marijuana. Nobody was aware of their smoking habit. He did it to relieve stress at college and, of course, to party.

His parents, as well as Mike, were unaware. He replenished the bong with water before returning it. They took turns smoking it after it had been prepared. They went to her bed once they had gotten high. He laid her down before getting on top of her. He flipped over once their clothes were on the floor, allowing her to straddle him. He gave her instructions on what to do.

He loved the feeling of being inside of her. She pulled her hair back before kissing him. He was so big and she wanted more of him. His hands explored her body.

Mike realised he had left something inside, so he returned to get it. He thought it odd that he could not find Bria or Jason anywhere. He went upstairs quietly out of curiosity, only to discover that the door was closed. He opened it and discovered they were having sex. Oh, my God! It took him a minute to process what he was seeing. He did not want to see that.

He quickly closed the door and returned downstairs. He took off quickly after grabbing his jacket. Jason finished inside of her. She laid down beside him. He caught his breath before rolling over and kissing her. They both got up. He went into the bathroom to clean up while she got dressed.

Mike requested a conversation with his brother the following day after visiting their parents' home. Their parents were both at work, so this was an excellent opportunity. He had come down from his high and was sober now. Mike enquired as to how long he had been sleeping with Bria. His heart sank as he asked him what he had seen. He looked at him with wide-open eyes. Did he even have to explain? He asked the same question again.

He admitted that they had engaged in sexual activity since she turned eighteen. Was she protected? Yes, she was using birth control. She claimed that her manager would kill her if she became pregnant. That was all Mike was concerned about. He advised him to be cautious, particularly if he was hooking up with men at school. Yes, he was.

He underwent testing every three months. Good. He promised not to inform their parents. Thank you. He was extremely welcome. She was the only woman he ever loved. He was fully aware of his homosexuality. He was having trouble telling their parents about his sexual orientation. Mike and Anna were the only people who knew. In high school, he experimented with guys by inviting them over to "hang out." He had an easier time in college because his parents were not around to keep an eye on him.

They were both extremely liberal and supportive of the LGBT community. They would be there to support him. It was simply terrifying to think about. How could he explain his sexual attraction to men while in love with Bria? She was so attractive that she could have any guy she wanted. He went to the refrigerator to get a water bottle before sitting in the living room with his textbook.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[photogirl894]

Horror story anon is back and shall never be caught! I just want to say you’re right about the whole “not having sweet dreams” after that, so I have something fun for you to think about instead!

Hunter is kidnapped and is being forced to marry someone. Idk who, but they’re evil. Who does Kimber bring to crash the wedding and how would she do it?

First of all, somebody stealing Hunter from Kimber? Oh, there will be HELL to pay!!

(I'm assuming you're caught up on S&R or have at least read most of it when I give this answer)

You better believe she is bringing her girls! The Koriena Force will be the ultimate wedding crashers!! Nobody gets to steal the Sergeant and get away with it!

Rina: "Somebody stole the Sarge? And is making him marry another broad? *cracks knuckles* Oh, not on my watch, boss lady."

Kida: "Nobody kidnaps Kimber's sweetheart!"

Lex: "Irys, fire up the ship. We've got a wedding to crash."

Irys: "Way ahead of you. And I've already pinpointed the exact location and gotten every detail of the woman's history. She's not getting away with this."

Kimber: "Good. Now, let's go get my Sergeant back."

They will definitely be kicking somebody's ass at that wedding 😝 Most likely the woman that's trying to marry him and anyone else who was involved with the kidnapping in the first place.

After giving the woman a thorough beat down...

Kimber: "You listen here and you listen well. Hunter is mine and mine alone. You can never have him. Not in this life or the next or any other. You could only ever dream of doing half the things I've done for him. You wanted to steal his heart and his love, whereas I earned it. If you even think of trying to take him away from me again, I will not be so lenient next time."

*mic drop* 😎😎😎

(Rina's actually standing off to the side with the mic 😜🤣)

[thenukacolachallenge]

some spoiler-y thoughts about tears of the kingdom thus far:

-FUCK GLOOM HANDS. i hate that everyone at nintendo saw our fear of spooky grabby hands and said “fuck yeah lets keep doing this forever”. i’m tired of being groped by very old men goddamnit! and then some of them turn into Phantom Ganon???? holy shit, that is a difficult fight. 80% of my deaths in the game so far have been at the hands(no pun intended) of these fuckers.

-ZELDA TURNED HERSELF INTO A FUCKING DRAGON AND I SOBBED LIKE A BABY. bruh i was not ready. SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF and her personality! but like, i havent finished all the main quests even though i got all the dragon tears/memory things so like, if Zelda IS a dragon, then who the fuck is showing up all around hyrule looking like her? is Mr. Dorf doing an evil magic to look like her like in that one memory? that can’t possibly be the case for all of the Zelda sightings. i’m so confused but so fucking intrigued.

-seriously though, watching Zelda sacrifice herself in order to save Hyrule and support Link is so upsetting. this girl was 16 the day the Calamity hit, and she hasn’t known a moment’s peace since then. give a bitch a break! but hey, at least she’s doing stuff in this one, whereas in most Zelda games, she’s just.... kidnapped.

-SIDON’S ENGAGEMENT STORY IS BULLSHIT. there is ZERO evidence of any other kingdoms existing for Zora outside of the Domain in Lanayru that King Dorephan rules over, it’s JUST to piss off people who ship Sidon with Link and that’s incredibly homophobic and annoying(especially since i had to fucking rewrite an entire part of my OC’s story due to it). and like, i feel bad, bc Yona seems like a lovely character, but she’s going to be HATED in the fanbase bc of the bad writing.

-speaking of questionable writing, there’s still so much i’m very fucking confused about. TotK obviously takes place several years after BotW, but they don’t specify how many and it creates a lot of confusion. why have some characters obviously aged up but some are still basically the same age? like, Hudson and Rhondson have a child who’s old enough to be sent back to Gerudo town, but Finley never hit her growth spurt(even though she clearly stated last game she was old enough to have supposed to hit it by botw)? what the fuck is that about?

-also, WHERE THE FUCK DID THE DIVINE BEASTS GO????? you can’t re-bury four fucking giant robot constructs in the span of maybe a decade, especially with Ganondorf reviving and creating a massive earthquake that unearths a fuckton of other shit. like, not having the Sheikah Slate i get(which is why the Purah Pad exists), and all the shrines and towers probably went back underground, but that part makes no goddamn sense and i don’t like it.

-i’m kinda sad Teba wasn’t the Sage of Wind and instead it was his son, Tulin. he really only got to shine in Age of Calamity, and most Zelda fans didn’t even play it bc it’s non-canon. the disrespect on my poor mans.

-i do love that so many of the towns are under new leadership now. it really feels like the world is evolving in that aspect. Teba and Paya being in charge of their respective towns is lovely to me.

-i love the idea that Link gave Zelda the house he dumped literally thousands of rupees into in Hateno, but like. where did he live? did they sleep together in the same bed? it’s implied Link no longer has a house bc you can make your “dream home” in Tarrey Town or w/e but like, ????? what’s that all about? Zelda just kicked Link’s ass out and made a secret room in the home HE invested in lmao, typical royal colonizer behavior(joking)

-i love that Grante, Robbie and Jerrin’s son, changed his name to Granteson so he could work for Bolson Construction. that’s genuinely adorable. he was already one of my fav tertiary characters just bc he’s Robbie’s son but this makes me like him even more. i also love that Jerrin is involved with stuff at the Lookout Landing! let Robbie’s wifey take care of stuff. even if it’s just cleaning. give her something to do besides glower at a machine her husband built lol.

-Kohga being still alive is hysterical, and the Yiga clan evolving to live partially underground is a lovely touch. them taking over old abandoned areas in the game is great as well. i also love that they flat-out do the “leave Mighty Bananas on the ground as bait to lure in unsuspecting victims” bit bc that’s EXACTLY how i imagined my OC fought them in BotW. i totally headcanon they stole that idea from her.

-tbh i’m kind of enjoying exploring the depths more than i am the sky islands. maybe it’s the fear of heights, or maybe it’s just that i really like that it wasn’t advertised at all. i thought it was just gonna be land and sky, but no! we’re going underground too babey~

-i love the addition of caves, wells, and other underground spaces. it makes a lot of sense for a game like this to have these things, and it makes me kinda sad they weren’t really a thing in the last one.

-the fusing thing is just okay. they didn’t really fix the issue people had with durability in the last game, so that’s annoying, but it is fun to make new weapons out of things at least.

-overall i really like the game so far. even though it’s a world most people have explored through already, there’s enough change and new content to make it fresh and engaging, and even though there’s another crisis, it’s heartwarming to see how people are finally being able to rebuild after the century-long crisis that was the Calamity. i’ve beaten one boss character so far(the Rito one) and i’m looking very forward to the rest!

[bakurapika]

weird dreams lately and i have work ending in 4 minutes and won't get anything done in that time so let me write about dreams i guess.

i think my dreams are more vivid sometimes when i keep going in/out of sleep, so sunday night when i had a hard time sleeping, I had a long and very vivid dream about doing work for the veteran's nonprofit i work at. but in the dream, it was more hands-on. it was a very aspirational dream where i showed up, noticed a couple specific veterans were getting a real shit deal, and worked my ass off to bring that to people's attention in a really productive way.

like uh i know one of them involved a bathroom (at a restaurant?) that wasn't my responsibility to clean, but by making everything really cleaned up, i got us on the good side of the host who wound up doing something important for us? And another, a homeless veteran was getting kicked out of a library, and I did some schmoozing and paperwork to get him recognized as an official library volunteer. and i also gave him a watch (his broke i think? and he had a social worker who was walking him to his car when it was all cold out so I ran to my car to get it for him, and the social worker gave me a ride with them for a minute).

none of these are actual things i do in my job -_- although i admire my subconscious dedication i guess.

i even (still in the dream) saw a mail lady scrambling after hours to pick up food donations and i was trying to solve that problem. I just remember a giant bundle of carrots.

whereas last night, I had the heat on, so I remember way less of the dreams. Except I'm pretty sure I bought on impulse and at retail price (not normal for me) a very fashionable tank top that bragged about having heart arrhythmia. and i was like "ohhh my god, i have to buy it, that's so me lmao"

[iviarellereads]

Nona the Ninth, John 19:18(1)

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(No icon) In which someone wishes he hadn't signed up for the cool cow facts newsletter the way he did.

The water keeps rising in the dream. He raises some land that was covered by the sea. She asks him if it's hard, but he says the hard part "was remembering that he could do it, and not just doing things the old difficult way."(2) On the newly exposed land is a concrete building, surrounded by cracked bone.(3) They don't go near it.

He says, there wasn't much time left, but the old financial backers for his project were the most scared of them. They kept trying to say that John was working with this or that country, to prove what he was doing wasn't real. John just kept offering to help.

They all had warrants for arrest from interpol. Sometimes, people would ask to leave the compound, and he let them, whether they were reporting back to the CIA or scared of being caught there. He didn't care, really, because he only really trusted his inner circle anyway.

He tried to bring Ulysses and Titania back from the dead, but couldn't make it work. The nun said their souls were gone, and it took him a long time to listen to her. Both of them were right, but that's a different part of the story.

In the dream, he gets angry, storms off, kicks rocks. Eventually he comes back, and says, they took the ships away and said they'd be focusing on FTL instead, faster-than-light, even though it was never really about light speed. They claimed the cryo plan got shut down because it wasn't safe enough, they'd only got it down to an 8% chance of permanent damage, and they never fixed maternity--

Here he broke off and couldn’t speak for a while. When he spoke again he said, We were the ones who argued them down to 8%. They were ready to go when we were just in the seventies, they were all, ooh, everyone knows it’s a risk, and it’s not like it’s thirty percent fatality, it’s thirty percent chance of damage, what’s that even, ooh. He said, They hadn’t given a fuck about maternity, said people should terminate before they got packed as a rule. When M— had been all, I will not accept those numbers, I will not accept a plan that incorporates reproductive injustice,(4) and we stood beside her, we said that’s not acceptable, they whinged about the money for a while and eventually said fine. And now they were acting like eight percent wasn’t good enough. Like we hadn’t tried.

The trillionaires were acting as though they had made the holy grail, when it was obvious to John that something was wrong, and A- pointed out some flaws in the plan. The trillionaires said they'd send out twelve ships first, a proof of concept to set up beacon frequencies for the others to follow.

He said, We knew how much those ships cost. We couldn’t even imagine how much FTL engines cost, but we could guess. We knew how much each ship could carry. In the cryo cans, we could cram in billions, that was cryo’s saving grace. Whereas they were staffing ships with a living crew, no sleepers, big-ass ships with thousands of live staff. When we pointed that out they kept saying we were crazy, we were kooks, we were monsters. They kept saying cows watched sunsets. At that point I wished I’d used the fucking conspiracy theorists instead of the cows. Nobody would’ve cared if I’d turned people inside-out who think vaccines have nanites in them that mine cryptocurrency.(5) But cows watch sunsets, man!

M- said this was why they took the cryo plan away in the first place. The rich rats wanted to scatter to safety and leave the rest behind. A- agreed, which just made it worse. He wasn't even sure the FTL claim was real. John assured them that no one would fall for it, they'd have to give numbers, they'd have to prove they were making the other ships. Look at the uproar when he "proved magic was real and turned Bidibidi inside out(6) because we didn’t trust the cops." There's no way they could pull it off.(7)

At that moment in the dream he got up off the car, and he said, “Fuck,” in a normal voice, and then he said, ���FUCK,” so loudly that it echoed off the crumbling concrete shell and the bones and was carried off into the mist. She watched him walk the field, three times, five times, ten. On the eleventh, he squelched through the mud to her and collapsed in front of the car and he said, They left you, they left you. They saw you suffering on dollar-shop life-support, and they didn’t look back. They didn’t give a fuck about trying to save you. They left. She said, "I don't remember." He said, "I can't forget."

=====

(1) John 19:18 is "Where they crucified him, and with him two others, one on each side, and Jesus in the midst." Not quite as relevant, John isn't exactly crucified here… though, his reputation is. A1Z26 brings us to THETOWERHASR. The tower (or Tower?) has what? Good question, next question. (2) Remembering that he can do this, because it's a lucid dream, and you can control things in those? Or does he have yet more powers we don't know yet? (3) The facility. (4) Makes Mercy's reaction to Wake's use of the samples look just a little different in hindsight, if you go back to Harrow chapter 50. (5) Explicit reference to actual modern conspiracy theory in our actual real world. (6) I can find that Bidibidi is a village in Uganda that became a refugee camp, and that there's a bush by the scientific name of acaena novae-zelandiae that's commonly known as "red bidibid". I don't know why or how something called Bidibidi was turned inside out. Help is once again welcomed! (7) I dunno about you, but I have a funny feeling the trillionaires did not, in fact, end up pulling off this escape.

[baiika]

Malkav's curse brings clarity other clans can't dream of. Lowborn her ass. The only one to pull the wool over her eyes was her ex husband, and he only managed to do so courtesy of the blood and naivety. No more.

She knows the Kindred Desmond has staked. Hates him. He was always a greasy sword arm of the Bishop. Momo hasn't shied from violence. She's done wetwork in the past and it doesn't keep her up at day, and diablerie isn't particularly disturbing either. But she never liked how keen he was on hunting their own regardless whether or not they were deserters or cowards.

It's not the same as Desmond. He's got the world on him whereas the Cainite he's taken custody of has immolated their own for pleasure. Burying her Rotschreck was one of the hardest practices of self-discipline she ever had to do in the Sabbat.

"I am a Lunatic, not a goddamn fool." She'd jab her finger against him if it wouldn't break her nails. "My ties with the Sabbat are exclusively for their destruction these nights.

"But to answer your question... I know him." Momo winds her foot back to kick them, give herself the satisfaction of watching them hobble on a shattered leg in the court, but refrains, and instead digs her toe into the pavement. Sometimes, she loathes Camarilla etiquette. "I wasn't sure he was here, but... that's why I wanted to take a look for myself," she explains as her arms fold. A petulant part of her is angered he stole her offering.

It'll be fine. She'll have her little victory once he's fucking decapitated. Maybe she can tell the motherfucker how pathetic he was in the seconds before his waking head ashes.

Momo's eyes sparkle when she turns her gaze to Desmond. "When are you bringing him to the Court, Sheriff?" Being a Harpy has its perks. She gets the in on these little parties. The shams they call trials. There's a sick part of her that takes immense joy in watching their enemies mummify and disintegrate, a part that puts Sousuke's face on each culled mortal, on each Anarch and Sabbat, on each Caitiff. For the Camarilla's imperfections they know how to run a tight ship against their threats, whereas Anarch and Sabbat can barely keep themselves off each other's throats from what she's seen.

Vtm momo; ❛ i always get stuck with unfortunate circumstances. ❜

Judge those of Caine's blood and punish them should they be found wanting.

"Rather than reflect on the misfortune of your circumstances, reflect upon the fortune of your person. For you are not the one who is to be destroyed."

Moments ago he had appeared seemingly from the shadows, moving with speed far beyond that of the average mortal, and stuck a stake right into the heart of a Kindred. Their body frozen in shock, suspended in a state of Torpor. The large Haqimite that stood before Momo was none othen than Desmond Hayden, Sheriff of Karakura.

'The Foreigner.'

"Am I correct in assuming that you had no knowledge of the origins of this particular Kindred?"

He is crouching over the Kindred, hand still gripping their collar. His hand releases the stake which is driven into their heart, his gaze no focused entirely on her.

Despite the complete stillness to his body, there remains little doubt of the violence to which he is capable of.

"For it would be a grave offense to knowingly consort with these dogs, the Sabbot."

@baiika

[wondersofspite]

What makes me tenfold depressed of the current episode is another loss of potential. I haven’t watched it-  even afraid at this point - but by reading other critics' comments, it seems like another episode wiping the bird dad’s ass.

If the writers actually explored Loona’s and Octavia’s conversation instead of using it to polish up Stolas’s (very much immature) parenting, they could actually expand on lots of things. Not many, certainly not the entire pacing and sloppy flaws, but at least, something.

Like. Look.

Octavia is a royal born and Loona grew up in abusive pseudo-dog care. Octavia has a father who is willing to spend and pamper her but does not truly try to listen to her, while Loona’s dad is very much willing but lives an incredibly poor status. Loona lived most of her childhood in an environment that deprived her of basic needs while Octavia ate on silver plate. Loona is literally a glorified pet and Octavia is an heir to a throne.

The potential, dude. The potential.

Imagine. This could have humanized both Loona's and Octavia’s situations. Share both their thoughts and feeling about the situation. Now, I’m going to go down some speculative routes and write up what else they could have shown with the scene.

Say, what if Octavia didn’t know that Loona was the daughter of Blitzo, and vented all the misery and pressure she is feeling cause her dad changed overnight “just for some imp”? Have Loona react to this with guilt, a bit of horror, and pity while as well some equal part of envy, bitterness and defensive protection. Where while she tries to console Octavia, now instead of praising the owl pervert, she indirectly defends her dad. Have her show that to some extent, she cares about Blitzo.

And with this, I think it would also be a nice reminder of the social difference between races. Perhaps, say, those two get into an argument cause Loona defended the guy who very much ruined Octavia’s household and her family. While she is much justified in her anger, Loona snaps back with something that stuns her.

“Who to say your own goddamn father didn’t force himself on the imp?”

Cause so far, none of the IMP crew talks about Stolas’s harassment. Despite him literally doing it publicly, more than once, Blitzo’s discomfort with it is louder than that is. Let that be to some extent why she kinda hates working: Not the fact that she has to work, but working on something that actively prospers from something Blitzo hates doing.

This could even be a sudden bomb for Octavia, who likely didn’t think (more or less, realize) that her dad, a royal, having affair with a less socially powerful figure could imply in context.

Heck, this could go in the total opposite direction where Loona actively tries to manipulate her.

Where that while yes, the IMP business fosters Blitzo’s suffering, it’s also something he wanted to do. Dreamed of. And main of all: She’s scared that once Blitzo can’t afford to keep her, she’ll be kicked to the streets. Have a little montage where right before she opens her mouth to call out how shit Stolas is, she slowly shuts it, then moves to look down the street. Have her look at, say, a stray dog, who’s following and desperately yelping at the feet of someone, till they are kicked away. Of bankrupt businesses begin shut down, of life on the street, of life as a discriminated group. I am far from a clever environment storyteller, and this is much trickier to do on paper than simply write it, but to point, some metaphor that shows her anxiety about her and Blitzo's future living conditions.

And when Octavia asks her what’s wrong, have her take a deep breath before saying the lines she said in the episode.

“...Your dad is trying his best.”

But make her actively look sick saying it, that she’s lying, that she very much thinks the opposite. But she lies: Cause what else can she do? If Octavia is given guidance in her confusion about her feeling towards her dad, she may actually direct her word right at him, whereas Stolas might actually pull back and cut his ties with Blitzo. Cut Blitzo and Loona off the only business they have.

That she’d lie to a teenage girl stuck in an abusive household for it.

Signify just how desperate they really are.

[mandrs-writes]

41 Reason why I ship Ereri

Eren and Levi is my all-time favorite ship. These two mean the world to me. And while I am not under any illusion that their relationship is canon, they’re canon in my heart and I want to share with you all the many different reasons why they’re so fucking shippable. Here are my 41 reasons 😊

1. Similarities in their past -- both willing to kill for the ones they love

Eren saves Mikasa by killing two men when he’s just a kid

Levi was trained to kill at a young age. It’s implied that he killed the people that hurt his dear friend Isabel in ACWNR

2. Momma’s boys -- definitely a parallel between them in these two shots.

3. Both had to watch their mom die and understand the pain of losing the people they love

4. Parallels between Levi, Isabel, and Farlan, and Eren, Mikasa, and Armin -- both are looking up at the stars and dreaming of something more

5. Eren has always admired Captain Levi. Just look how stars truck he is 🤩

6.The first time he meets Levi, he sees the Wings of Freedom on his back. The framing of this shot shows that Levi represents freedom for Eren

7. Levi is intrigued and impressed by the fire/determination when he first meets Eren. He is a spark of hope for Levi.

8. Despite many people claiming this scene is ‘abusive’ it is far from it. While it is brutal in nature, Levi’s aggressive display was the only way for him to save Eren from being handed over to the MP. Erwin knew that Levi would need to show the courtroom that he was strong enough to ‘handle’ Eren in order for the MP to give Eren over to the SC. 

It’s even explained to Eren after the fact that it was a necessary show of power in order to save him. 

It wasn’t something Levi wanted to do -- it’s clear he feels bad about how he handled Eren by asking him if he resented him. 

Despite everything, Eren understands why Levi had to do what he did and admits to not being resentful towards Levi, who ultimately appears relieved by that admission

9. They catch each other staring/giving each other eyes 😏 showing that they have an innate interest in each other

10. Eren is surprised that Captain Levi is so keen to following orders from the higher ups. When Petra tells him about his past, he’s shocked and wonders why Levi would join be in the Survey Corps. Eren definitely shows interest and curiosity in this scene and appears to want to know more about his mysterious Captain

11. They’re super cute together 🥺 Just look at theeeem

12. Levi is caught smirking at Eren when talking about him being creepy. Okay buddy 😏 

13. Levi sees that Eren is a monster and still accepts him anyway. He doesn’t judge or condemn him for being the way that he is. In the visual novel “Burning Bright in the Forest of the Night”, Levi even refers to him as “a beautiful monster”

14. He always gives Eren a choice, allowing him to make his own decisions, and be his own person. He’s only ever encouraged Eren to be true to himself. He’s never tried to change him

Even when Eren is struggling with accessing his father’s memories and Hange is bombarding him with questions, Levi defends his strange behavior

15. Levi defends Eren based on his “intuition” when everyone else sees him as a monster needing to be put down. Instead, he trusts Eren, standing between him and his squad. 

16. Levi visibly panics when he hears Eren transform during the Female Titan arc. He’s clearly worried about him and changes gears to try and save him

17. Levi feels like he failed by protecting Eren and he is visibly distraught when Mikasa calls him out on it.

18. Levi makes up for his failure by only caring about saving Eren, whereas Mikasa seems more interested in killing the Female Titan. He has to talk her down

19. Levi is able to motivate Eren and give him confidence when he’s feeling unsure about himself

20. Levi helps mold Eren into the person he becomes later in the story. Eren obviously looks up to Levi a lot and learns from him in more ways than one

21. Levi gives Eren the power/motivation to choose again, encouraging him to believe in himself.

22. They both have righteous anger

23. Eren is super determined to impress Levi and is visibly upset when he fails to meet his expectations

(Just look at the gay panic)

24. Eren unintentionally insults Levi when he calls Rod Reiss a tiny old man. While Levi appears unfazed, Eren visibly panics, clearly showing how much he cares about Levi’s opinion of him

Also I just love this scene. It’s funnyyy

25. Levi shows concern for Eren on more than one occasion

26. Levi has a thing for Eren’s ass... apparently

Just casually kicking his butt

and talking about it 😏

27. Eren isn’t afraid to stand up to Levi, despite his harsh exterior. This just goes to show that Eren understands that Levi is more compassionate and empathetic than he lets people believe

28. While Levi is conflicted about who to save with the Titan serum, he ultimately picks Armin. 

One of the reasons he choses Armin is because of what Eren says about how Armin is good and has dreams, which reminds Levi of the moment that they sat under the stars and talked about the ocean. Levi shows compassion for Eren and his friends

29. Levi gets upset when Erwin tells him to protect the horses instead of Eren

30. Even after losing his best friend, Levi comforts Eren and his friends, letting them know that he does not regret his decision, encouraging them to not regret it as well. Despite being in pain himself, he’s a pillar of strength and comfort for Eren and the others

31. Levi is sympathetic towards Eren’s situation after the Battle of Shiganshina and lets him out early despite his insubordination

32. Levi is disappointed in Eren after what he did in Marley and shows just how upset/affected he was by him leaving by kicking him on the airship. The scene feels very personal and while I could go on and explain why I think it’s incredibly meaningful for their relationship, snkception does a great job of explaining it. You can read their full post here

33. Levi is a protective boyfriend

34. When Eren keeps an important secret, Levi tells them they’ll talk about it later. There’s something incredibly personal about the way he says it that implies it’ll be a private conversation amongst other things

35. Their height difference though 😍

36. Levi is obviously important to Eren, since he shows up in his memory shards

37. Levi is visibly upset when his fellow soldiers talk about feeding Eren to someone else. After everything they’d been through, that’s the last thing that Levi wants.

Also, I think it’s important to note that when Levi remembers Eren, he doesn’t remember him as a monster, despite calling everyone talking about him that way. He remembers Eren the first time they met, when Eren was helpless and merely human

38. Despite his promise made early in the story to kill Eren if he ever went rogue or lost control, he tries desperately to come up with another solution, anyway out of killing Eren

39. When they realize that killing Eren might be the only way, Levi is visibly distraught

In paths, he is the only one on his knees, he’s so tired, beaten down, and lost over what to do that he’s unable to stand and hold himself up on the airship

40. There was so much that Levi wanted to tell Eren... what it was, I can only speculate. But something tells me he wanted to tell Eren everything, including his feelings for him

41. Lastly, they’re opposites. The sun and the moon, summer and winter, fire and ice, yin and yang. Eren is fiery, energetic and passionate and Levi is cool, calm, and introspective. Their dynamic is truly beautiful and I genuinely believe Levi is one of the few people who understand Eren completely and accepts him without judgment

[alittlebitmanic]

So I was reading something earlier today about how Pedro felt like Max Lord brought out some minor personal vibes for the actor. He said it was "scary and thrilling", and that he had to use a lot of himself to bring what Jenkins wanted to the table. I was thinking about his personality traits/qualities that maybe he could have fixated on while playing Max Lord.

..

-Examples of Desperation such as his early years of struggling to make it. How he wanted fame so bad that he did whatever he had to do, lived in poor areas, starved, worked crummy jobs to get thru school, accepted that there were risks in what he was pursuing for himself...even though fame fully didn't come to him until later in life, so maybe even in his 30s long after college years he still felt that desperation for more more more, and would "wish" and manifest his dream to come true.

-Desperate to fight through the emotional turmoil of his mother's death. That caused emotional trauma for him and created more of a vulnerable side to him that he may have thought about when doing the emotional scenes with Lord and his son, or just in general...the pain he felt for the loss of his mother may have been brought to life in this role.

-Pascal is the opposite of Lord in that he thinks lowly of himself. He's always denying that he's any good at what he does. Whereas Lord is big headed in the movie. Up until the end, when the rationality finally kicks in. He finally admits that he's a loser to his son and not a great guy, and the true nature of the actor comes through when he admits he is not a perfect human being and not a "god" like he wanted to amount to be throughout the film. He thought that that is what he needed in his life but really he just needed his son's love to feel powerful, and to realize that power is not everything. I wonder if Pedro ever feels that way, that maybe he's been chasing fame to the point where he's expecting it to fill every void in his soul. But his personal issues would still exist, so thus, fame can never heal those scars. Fame and power do not fix the world's problems. I dunno. Maybe not I could be completely dumb here. Pedro is pretty minimalist in his "needs" out of life, I think, and he doesn't seem to crave power per se but he does seem to crave more out of his work and although he's done so much he has not gotten to the point that satisfies him yet, understandably though, because he got famous later than other actors usually do. But I do hope he shows some appreciation for himself some time soon, or deep down, because he's certainly worked his ass off because of his MASSIVE desperation and determination to get where he is, much like Lord except he did it in evil villainous ways whereas Pedro did it in normal average human ways and for non-evil reasons lol.

-I think he loved and feared this role, both, because compared to his other roles like Pena, or Ezra, he stated that "instead of brooding, with a mustache, the role is, energetically at least, much more close to my own in terms of exposing desperation. Expose expose expose. I had to take a lot out of myself for that." In a way it must seem like if you watch P play Max Lord it may be his most revealing role. A peek behind at the inner psyche of Pedro. The part of him that isn't "polished" for the world to see. Which I guarantee many of us have wondered about. Not saying he's a villain like Max Lord but he could indeed have a rather troubled side to him like Max Lord had in the film, that played on your emotions for the bad guy--I think P has that same sense of vulnerability, that intense pressure to amount to something really great or important that he'd basically do whatever to do it (well in P's case he's not nuts enough to get involved with magic n shit and a powerful artifact's capabilities--like Max Lord did, so it'd be obviously within reason for Pedro, in reality), he has a self-pressured soul, always working toward and greedy for more rewards, practically never satisfied...that may be qualities the real guy has. Max Lord was described as "not a cool guy" and Pedro said that that's perfect...for him. He doesn't have to pretend to be "cool" like with other characters he's played. Even though he plays cool guys flawlessly he probably enjoyed playing a character with depth that he could relate to within himself. Maybe he felt like he was playing an alter ego version of his true self, whereas in other characters he's playing people who are the opposite of Pedro in real life. It may have shook him up a bit to actually play a character that perhaps he had specific similarities to.

I love the character, personally. xx

[maulusque]

WHAT IF MAUL KIDNAPPED ANAKIN RIGHT OFF OF TATOOINE

(I started writing this and then it got out of hand and now it’s 3:30 in the morning, rest of it’s under the break so i don’t monopolize your dash)

So for whatever combination of reasons, Maul spits out the kool-aid and gets really disenchanted with Sidious a lot earlier than in canon. He starts wondering things like “why is he not telling me his master plan if i’m so important to it?” and “why do i get nothing more than vague promises of power sometime in the future, when i should be guaranteed a position as his second-in-command, after all I’ve done for this guy?” and “why does he treat me like i’m disposable, and then constantly tell me i’m crucial for his plans?”

and he starts thinking things like “hey wait a minute, none of that childhood torture made me better at anything sith-related, it just gave me crippling trauma that actually impairs my capacity for self-control and incredible violence” and (possibly due to his experiences at Orsis Academy) “oh whack looks like kids learn a lot better and faster when they’re, like, having fun? Whatever ‘fun’ is?”

and anyway by the time he gets to tatooine with orders to “find that stoner jedi and kick his ass”, Maul is pretty annoyed at his master. And when he senses not one, not two, but THREE powerful force-presences on Tatooine, one of which vastly eclipses any other force presence he’s ever felt, and belongs to a nine-year-old slave boy, Maul gets an idea. You know, (he thinks), his master sure would love to get his hands on a force-baby like that. Master Sidious sure would be evilly thrilled to have an extremely powerful nine-year-old delivered directly to his doorstep on coruscant, with the jedi having to do all the heavy lifting of training the kid. Master Sidious would probably want nothing more than to have this kid be taken in by the Jedi, so he can start grooming a new apprentice. 

And Maul, full of spite and an as-yet-undiscovered need to adopt every force-sensitive in sight, decides to deprive Sidious of a potential apprentice. He follows Anakin to Naboo (in this universe, Anakin still wins the podrace, still wins his own freedom), and, after the fighting is over, sees a prime window of opportunity, and kidnaps Anakin right out from under the Jedi’s nose. 

(In this universe, Obi-Wan does not cut Darth Maul in half and dump him down the garbage chute- Maul, unwilling to do his master’s bidding any longer, doesn’t go full out against Qui-Gon, doesn’t kill him, and Obi-Wan doesn’t get that grief-and-rage filled boost that helped him dismember Maul last time. The fight ends, the Jedi are convinced that Maul is dead, and Naboo is freed).

Once Maul has the kid, since he’s a pragmatic guy, he also returns to Tatooine and takes the kid’s mom. Maul doesn’t know how to cook, do laundry, tie shoes, or any of that shit. He doesn’t want to have to PARENT the kid, he just wants to train him. 

Maul has zero money, and also zero subtlety, so he stomps into Watto’s shop, grabs him by the neck, and says “The boy's mother is coming with me. You will disable her slave chip and let her leave unharmed, or I will squeeze your head off.” Watto complies. For Anakin, this is his first real impression of Maul- storming the junk shop and threatening his former master for the freedom of Anakin’s mother.

Maul is determined to do a better job training Anakin than Sidious did training Maul. Because FUCK Sidious. Maul can be a WAY better Sith than Sidious ever allowed him to be. And since Maul is slowly realizing how... unhelpful... the way he was raised was, he’s determined to figure out how to do it better.

So he reads. He reads training manuals, child psychology books, teaching books, studies on motivation and performance, anything he can get his nerdy little hands on. He learns that frightened children don’t perform well. He learns about “trauma”, and how “trauma” makes it hard to control your emotions sometimes. Well, you can’t have THAT in your ultimate sith apprentice. Okay, so no scaring Anakin and no traumatizing him. Maul quickly realizes that literally everything he does frightens Anakin or his mom, and frightening Anakin’s mom also frightens Anakin (cut him some slack, he’s literally never been in a positive relationship, Maul has no model for any behavior other than “evil abuser” and “subservient slave”).

Maul is not an idiot. He knows he’s not doing it right. He’s reluctant to start teaching Anakin ANYTHING until he knows he won’t accidentally damage his precious spite-apprentice. So he mostly ignores the kid while he reads and learns.

He also observes. Specifically, he observes Shmi Skywalker. Somehow, she seems to be able to interact with Anakin without scaring him. She can even tell him what to do without scaring him. She can teach and correct him without scaring him. And she never physically hurts him at all. Maul is kind of blown away- he didn’t even know it was possible to interact with people like that? HOW does she DO it???

So Maul watches and learns. He practices. Shmi helps, guides him, tells him when he messes up and tells him how to do it better. Maul gets a lot better at restraining his murderous urges. Turns out, if you immediately kill everyone who annoys you, it’s hard to ask them for advice after. The other person Maul gets pointers from is C3PO, the protocol droid the kid dragged along. Maul understands 3PO better than he understands Shmi and Anakin. 3PO is a droid. Maul was raised by a droid. Maul knows how to talk with 3PO, whereas talking with Shmi or Anakin feels like wandering around in a fog full of landmines.

So anyway, Maul and 3PO become unlikely friends, and, as Maul, determined to out-parent Sidious in every conceivable way, learns more and more social skills, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal skills, he truly comprehends how fucked up his own childhood was. There’s rage. There’s grief. There’s murderous desire for vengeance. But there’s also Anakin. Who would be scared if Maul smashed the ship or killed random people to vent his anger. Anakin, who needs something called a “positive role model”, who needs to be taught how to use the Force, and who needs the adults around him to have their shit together. There’s also Shmi, who makes him soup and hot chocolate when he’s feeling bad, and tells him off for breaking things, and who helps him get better at being a real person, and who doesn’t seem to want anything from him other than a general expectation of not hurting her or her son. So Maul deals. He grows. He heals, slowly. There’s setbacks, and gains. And somewhere in there, he starts teaching Anakin how to use the Force.

The problem is, Maul learned to access the Force first through fear and anger. Turns out, it’s really hard to teach someone fundamentals of force usage via fear and anger without first having to traumatize them. So right away, Maul hits a barrier. He doesn’t have any clue how to teach Anakin a different way though. He needs help.

But also, FUCK the jedi. NO WAY is Maul asking the Jedi for help, he hates the Jedi. Maul is still a Sith, he’s just a new, better kind of Sith, the kind that trains apprentices who are gonna kick WAY MORE ASS and be HEALTHY WELL-ADJUSTED PEOPLE while doing it (let him dream, ok?). So Maul starts hauling Shmi and Anakin around the galaxy, seeking out any non-Jedi Force-users they can, to learn Force techniques that the Sith didn’t teach Maul.

They spend time with the Guardians on Jedha, with those weird duck-people from that one episode with Jar-Jar’s girlfriend, with some wacky monks on a tiny island in the ass-end of nowhere, and even some time with a long-lost sith cult in a box system in the middle of the Unknown Regions. Maul learns. Anakin learns. Maul uses what he learns from the other force-users, combines it with what he knows, and teaches Anakin even more. The Jedi and the Sith are really the only two groups who really use the force for Big Impressive Things, like telekinesis and lightning and whatnot, so while the other force groups would have a lot to teach them both, they wouldn’t really be able to teach Anakin how to levitate something. And you can’t be the kick-assiest, bestest Sith Apprentice Ever if you can’t levitate shit. So Maul takes takes all these new techniques, like “being calm and chill when you meditate instead of super pissed off” and “using the Force while not being filled with incredible rage” and “mindfulness techniques” and “who knew you could do cool stuff like floating rocks without having to exhaust yourself by hating everything in existence, including yourself” and applies them to the skills and methods he already has. He and Anakin have to do a lot of fumbling and exploring and mistake-making, but they figure it out. And Anakin learns. And he kicks ass.

When Anakin is 11, Maul hauls him off to Ach-To to dig a crystal out of the roots of an ancient tree. He tells Anakin to hold it and meditate, to let his emotions rise around him, to feed them, to pull them through the crystal, let it resonate, let it take on the shape of his strongest feelings. After all, that is how Maul was trained to bleed his crystals. Maul’s pain and fear and anger yielded him red crystals.

Anakin comes out with yellow. Determination, fierce protectiveness, drive, hunger for justice, righteous fury. That is Anakin’s lightsaber.

Anakin grows up, planet-hopping with his Mom and Uncle Maul in a beat-up freighter with under-the-hood enhancements out the ass (Maul ditched the Scimitar right after Tatooine so his master couldn’t instantly track him down, and Maul and Anakin are both huge mechanics nerds and bond over things like “but what if you put ANOTHER PLASMA CORE IN THE ENGINE”, so this ship is, uh, certainly some sort of thing). Anakin grows up learning a hundred different Force traditions- just about every major Force tradition in the Galaxy (except for Jedi), and more than a few obscure ones. He grows up, tinkering with his droid, learning Juyo from Maul and how to sew a button from his mom. He grows up, beholden to two destinies only: “Help me take down Sidious, because he’s an asshole and a shitty Sith Lord” and “do whatever the fuck you want, because you are a Sith and no one gets to tell you what to do” (”except me.” Shmi interrupts. “Sith Lords still have a bedtime.” “Sith Lords still have a bedtime,” Maul amends, having no desire to repeat what happened when he encouraged a ten-year-old Anakin to ignore all the rules on purpose).

And what Anakin wants to do is what he’s always wanted to do- go back to Tatooine and free the slaves. Maul thinks that a big project like that would be an excellent learning opportunity for Anakin. He also wants Anakin to succeed, so he sits him down and talks logistics. How do you free the slaves without hundreds of slave owners detonating their chips when they hear what is happening? How do you keep them free once you do that? How do you get them jobs, clothes, food, houses? What about the ones who want to leave Tatooine? What about the ones who want to stay? And what about the economic upheaval that will happen when you deprive a whole planet of its cheapest source of labor? When Anakin is fourteen, they start planning.

When Anakin is eighteen, they make their move. Anakin, coordinating with Shmi, who returned to Tatooine three years earlier to organize things on the ground (living with a woman named Beru Whitesun, who is a gateway to the Freedom Path network), activates several massive orbital EMP devices, frying every electrical device on the planet, including slave chips. (The EMPs came from a pirate friend of his mom’s, who seems to do whatever she wants as long as she makes him hot chocolate). All over the planet, lights go out, slave chips fry, and radios go silent. And Shmi’s agents get to work. Ordinary citizens all over tatooine grab their rifles and head out. They meet up with others in their settlement, and the teams sweep the area, following a plan devised by Skywalker and Whitesun. They systematically visit every house in every settlement, city, spaceport, and town that is known to house slaves, and tell the slaves to grab their families and most treasured possessions and follow them.

(Tatooine is a sparsely populated planet- you can count the major settlements on two hands. If it weren’t, this would never have worked.)

Not many slaveowners put up much of a resistance- fifty angry masked people pointing guns in your face tend to make you compliant. The only slaveowner who puts up more than a token resistance is Jabba the Hutt. His resistance, however, lasts about thirty seconds, before Anakin cuts off his head.

Maul meets Anakin at Jabba’s palace, where he’s rounding up the last of Jabba’s cronies. 

“No trouble?” Maul asks.

“Nope,” Anakin replies. “You?”

“None.” Maul said. Turns out, it’s like, super easy to take down an entire criminal organization when you can turn up to a meeting of the Hutt family heads, kill them all, and waltz out past all their security forces without breaking a sweat. (Seriously, it’s kind of hilarious how Maul is literally just that good). 

“The slaves here are freed?”

“Yep,” says Anakin. Then frowns. “Hold on...” He senses a presence. Big, hulking, simple, and starving. He can sense that, whatever it is, it hasn’t seen the sunlight or been able to move freely in years. 

So anyway, that’s how Anakin turns up at Mos Espa at first sunrise, riding on the back of Jabba the Hutt’s pet rancor. “Who’s a good girl,” Anakin says, scratching behind her ear nubs. “You are!” And she is a good girl. Padme (”I just think it sounds like a nice name, you know?”) is very good at dispersing angry slaveowners who look like they might start rioting. 

The slaves freed overnight have been gathered together at pre-designated safe zones-mostly warehouses or large buildings that Shmi has been buying up over the years for exactly this purpose.

(The slaves living in remote settlements, at moisture farms and homesteads, didn’t get a visit from the freedom teams. However, Shmi had a plan for them too. She has made overtures to the Tusken tribes. Once she managed to negotiate her way into speaking to one of the leaders without getting killed, she sold them a story, a dream. A revolution. Free the slaves. Transform Tatooine. She doesn’t promise the Tuskens to expel humans from the planet entirely. She promises them equal rights under the law (she also promises the existence of laws in the first place). She promises them the right to raise Banthas, the right to traverse their ancestral lands and the return of sacred sites taken from them, the right to trade, the right to control who passes over their lands. She promises them the right to water and shade. And, she promises them half the seats on the ruling council she plans to set up. And so, on the night the EMPs blow, Tusken raiders visit every homestead on Tatooine (again, there’s only a few hundred, a thousand at most), and kidnap the slaves. Perhaps not the most reassuring experience for enslaved peoples who have been taught their entire lives to fear the Tuskens, and not without reason, but, nevertheless, it is freedom).

As the new day dawns- Tatooine’s first dawn as a free planet- Anakin, Maul, and Shmi know that the easy part is over. Now, they have to house tens of thousands of people currently cooped up in warehouses with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They have to establish and keep iron-tight control over the planet and its settlements, and quash any violent reprisals before they gain momentum. They also have to completely rebuild an economy completely upended by the overnight emancipation. 

However, Shmi’s not the only one who’s been busy for the past few years. While Shmi was on Tatooine, planning a revolution, Anakin and Maul were traversing the galaxy, gathering resources, using the Patented Maul Method (TM)- breaking into the headquarters of powerful organizations and threatening to kill everybody in charge unless they did what they said.

As the second sun rises, ships begin arriving in Tatooine’s orbit. Pop-up housing is dropped onto the outskirts of Tattooine’s settlements, the kind that mining companies use to set up new bases on mineral-rich asteroids. The accommodations are small and sparse, but each family has a kitchen, bathroom, beds, and private space. Huge generators are hooked up to cool the new housing. Anakin knows that the already-existing slave quarters, made of stone with no windows and mostly underground- are already built to keep the occupants cool, but he refuses to make the former slave population live in slave quarters. Some of the freed people are moved into Jabba’s old palace, some into buildings abandoned by rich business owners who fled the planet when they saw what was happening. Food, water, medicine, clothes, books, toys, tools, and shoes are deposited. (the Republic’s equivalent of the FBI had been utterly baffled when Galaxy’s three biggest criminal organizations started moving cargo that looked less like a drug trade and more like a disaster relief mission). 

Anakin walks among the newly freed slaves, reassuring them- yes, you are free. Yes, you will be fed and housed and clothed as long as you need it. Yes, we will try to find your child/husband/wife/mother who was sold years ago. Yes, you can go home, you can do whatever you want.

He also asks for volunteers. And he gets them. Hardly anyone would say no to the chance to work with the Skywalker, who once was a slave like them, but freed himself and returned, who freed the slaves in one night of glory, and appeared at sunrise riding a rancor.

Anakin sends out messengers, all across the planet. “Tatooine is a free world,” they say. “All slaves are hereby freed, by order of the He who Walks in the Sky. Any slaveowners who, by their own free will, turn over their detonators will not be harmed. Any who resist, will be.” Not many resist.

At the end of that first day, as the suns are setting, once the freed peoples of Tatooine are fed, and given water, and sheltered, Maul comes to Anakin.

“I am proud of you.” He says. “You have come into your power, you have mastered yourself, and so have mastered the Force. You have the freedom and the power to do anything you choose. You are no longer my apprentice. Lord Skywalker, you are a true Sith Master.” Anakin pulls him into a hug. He maybe cries a little bit. Maul maybe cries a little bit. Maul maybe also feels mildly annoyed that Anakin is a full head taller than him now.

(Sidious would be truly, utterly offended at Maul’s criteria for Sith-Lord-ness. “THAT’S NOT SITH” he would have said. “THAT’S BARELY EVEN DARK SIDE ADJACENT, YOU ARE DILUTING OUR THOUSAND YEAR HERITAGE-” but Maul wouldn’t care about Sidious’ stupid opinions, anyway).

And Anakin and Shmi get to work. They employ the newly freed people of Tatooine, constructing permanent houses, tearing down slave markets, building critical infrastructure. Anakin pays them more than a living wage, thanks to the extremely deep pockets of Crimson Dawn. He brings in doctors and teachers, and guarantees healthcare and education for all who want it (whenever one of Crimson Dawn’s higher-ups says “wait, why are we dumping massive amounts of money into this one random-ass planet?” Darth Maul just casually sidles up behind them with his lightsaber until they remember that he can literally just show up anywhere, at anytime, and kill them unless they do what he says. If Maul’s busy, he sends 3PO instead- 3PO’s been outfitted with about ten times as much weaponry as is legal, and can be very convincing when he wants to be).

While Anakin works on infrastructure and supporting the freed peoples of Tatooine, and unfucking the economic trainwreck they caused, Shmi and Beru work on the government. They write down a few, very basic rules-Tatooine is to be ruled by a council of people, half of whom will come from the Tusken tribes, all of which shall be selected by fair and free election. All citizens of Tatooine shall have the right to vote in these elections, and the right to vote shall be guaranteed to all- except for those who have ever owned or sold a sentient being. (it was a huge debate in the Lars-Whitesun-Skywalker household, this matter of restricting voting rights. In the end, it was decided that slaveowners, and ONLY slaveowners, were to be the sole exception for universal suffrage). Every citizen of Tatooine is guaranteed access to food, medicine, and water, and has the right to have their grievances addressed by the council.

Shmi works quickly to gather her council- she knows she has to do it fast, to prove to the Tuskens that she is as good as her word. The first elections are chaotic, and perhaps not completely non-violent, but in the end, there is a council of twenty representatives, with Shmi Skywalker representing Mos Espa.

The Council proceeds to have raging- and occasionally violent- debates about the structure of their future government. What rights to guarantee citizens. Should they have a court system? What about a financial system? How are they to guarantee water, food, and medicine to everyone? What even are taxes?

The Rebuilding of Tatooine is long, and hard, and contentious. There are arguments and rage and fighting- the repatriation of traditional Tusken lands is especially fraught. But Shmi promised, and so she makes it happen (Anakin and Padme may have helped too). Maul, for his part, keeps training Anakin, and keeps managing the criminal underworld with a careful balance of death threats and actual death, but mostly stays out of the way of Anakin’s Senior Project. 

Soon, Anakin is able to re-purpose the pop-up housing, since most people have moved into traditional Tatooine-built homes, suited to the environment. The newly restructured economy is tentatively taking its first steps, and Tatooine’s baby government is becoming less and less dependent on intergalactic criminal funding (partially thanks to Anakin confiscating the entirety of Jabba’s personal fortune). He spends a lot of time in Council meetings, trying not to scream at people while also trying to stop Padme from eating them. The Council debates what is next for Tatooine, and eventually, they vote to petition the Republic for membership. Tatooinians, as a people, including the Tuskens, are fiercely independant, but, as Shmi points out, joining the Republic would guarantee them to certain things like humanitarian aid, a voice in decisions affecting interplanetary trade routes and taxation, legal legitimacy and the right to call on the Republic for aid should their sovereignty ever be threatened. Most importantly, slavery is illegal on all Republic planets, which means that if any slave-owning organizations ever pushed in on Tatooine, there would be another (much better funded) organization to call on to help quash it. 

The Republic requires that a petitioning planet’s head of state visit the Senate on Coruscant to ask the Senate for entry into the Republic. The Council, grumbling, re-jiggers their constitution to allow for a “chief councilor”, and promptly elect Anakin to the position (”Fuck me,”) Anakin says. Maul laughs at him, then sobers and tells him to be careful on Coruscant (”My former master lives there.” he says. “Mind your shields, and do not let him know your true nature. You are not yet ready to take him on, and you have your planet and your people to think of.” “Yes, Uncle Maul.” Anakin says. “I will be careful.”).

Anakin shows up in the Galactic Senate, sandy robes, uncombed hair, and half smirk on his face. “I am Anakin Skywalker, free person of Tatooine,” he says. He presents the case for Tatooine’s admittance to the Republic in a booming, confident voice, drawing on his inner strength- his righteous anger and determination to ensure his people’s future- to keep his voice from wavering.

There are grumbles. Muttering. No Senator wants to be the one to blatantly say “no”- it’s a sort of miracle story, Tatooine, the little planet that rose up and threw of the shackles of slavery and now wants to join the Republic- the exact sort of mythos that the Republic itself is built on. It’s bad PR to vote against that little planet. But at the same time, Tatooine is a sandy, useless dustball that’ll need fiscal support from the Senate, with nothing to offer in terms of economic value. Many Senators are debating with themselves, not whether or not to say “no”, but how to vote “no” without losing ten points in approval ratings.

Until the Senator from Naboo, a diminutive woman who somehow reminds Anakin of his rancor, stands up. She gives an impassioned, off-the-cuff speech, reminding the Senate of how her own planet had thrown off the shackles of oppression not ten years ago, how the Republic was founded by planets like Tatooine, and how, most importantly, they had no legal basis to deny them entry, and if the Senate voted no, Naboo’s lawyers would litigate the issue six ways from taungsday- which, due to a clause in the Senate’s constitution that forbade them from passing legislation while the issue of a planet’s admittance to the Republic was on the floor, would effectively paralyze the Senate until the courts made a ruling. And, as Padme made sure to emphasize, if the court’s decision was not favorable, she would appeal. She could feasibly stop the Senate from doing anything for years, if necessary.

Tatooine is admitted to the Republic.

“Two Senators,” Anakin demands. “In order for my people to be fairly represented, my planet requires two Senators.” When complaints are made, Jar-Jar Binks threatens to explain the complicated dynamics of a planet attempting to grapple with a colonial past. He doesn’t have to. Tatooine gets its two Senators.

Anakin meets with Senator Amidala in her office, to thank her.

“Of course,” she said. “I remember a little boy who helped free my planet- how could I not help you when you needed it?”

“Uhh, thanks, yeah, that’s, really nice of you. Like your hair. Which is nice. In an objective sort of way,” Anakin says, because there is no universe in which Anakin is not a complete idiot in front of Padme. “I named my rancor after you,” he blurts.

Before Anakin is scheduled to leave Coruscant, the Jedi send a knight to scope out the new planetary leader. Obi-Wan Kenobi shows up at Anakin’s hotel room, and goes “Oh. It’s.... you.” 

“Obi-Wan!” Anakin grins. He only knew him for about two days when he was nine, but he still greets him like an old friend, like a brother. They fall into easy, teasing conversation. “I thought you were dead, I confess, after you disappeared from Naboo,” Obi-Wan admits. “I am truly sorry that I was unable to fulfill Qui-Gon’s promise to train you as a Jedi Knight.”

“That’s ok,” Anakin waves his hand dismissively. “I got trained as a Sith instead.” Then he freezes. Oops. He was not supposed to say that. Maul would be so disappointed in him.

“Beg pardon?” Obi-Wan says.

“I, uhh, got trained, as a, uh, sift...er? Instead? A sand sifter? I sift sand for a living?”

“You said Sith.”

“No I didn’t, I definitely said sift.”

“No, you said Sith.”

“I definitely did not.”

Anakin changes the subject, and Obi-Wan lets it drop. He’ll tell the Council, of course, but he honestly cannot fathom the concept of this kid being a Sith. He senses nothing Dark about him- well, at least no more dark than is present in any sentient. Besides, it’s not like there are any Sith Lords around anymore, ever since he killed Maul (luckily, Obi-Wan doesn’t see the picture in Anakin’s wallet, a candid shot 3PO took in the cockpit of their family’s ship. Fifteen-year-old Anakin, at the controls, hyperbrake still on with his hands on the hyperdrive lever, Maul, standing behind him, hands gripping Anakin’s seat and face distorted half-way through a panic-induced rant about flight safety, and Shmi, sitting in the co-pilot’s seat, laughter on her face and knitting needles in her hands).

Anakin contacts his mother, tells her the good news. The Council, moving with alacrity, elects Tatooine’s first Senators. And four days later, one year after the Dawn of Freedom, Senator Shmi Skywalker and Senator Ooutrigh (a Tusken warrior) of Tatooine arrive on Coruscant and address the Senate for the first time. 

Of course, while Anakin has been growing up, planning for Tatooine’s future, and annoying the shit out of Maul, Palpatine’s own plans have continued apace. Barely four months after Tatooine is admitted to the Republic, Obi-Wan finds himself in an arena on Geonosis. The battle goes much differently this time, partially due to the fact that Anakin has retrofitted the cargo bay of his family’s ship to house Padme (the rancor, not the Senator), and descends onto the Arena sands just as Yoda and the Clone Troops arrive, and deposits both Padme’s (the rancor, and the Senator) into the melee. 

“Hi, Obi-Wan!” Anakin calls, whipping out his lightsaber to deflect the hail of blaster bolts (Maul would disapprove, but Maul isn’t here, he’s ten clicks away, chasing down the Jedi dropout Sidious replaced him with). 

“Anakin, what the FUCK” Obi-Wan says, staring at Chief Councilor Anakin Skywalker of Tatooine, riding a rancor and swinging an honest-to-Force yellow lightsaber. 

“Master Yoda, what the FUCK” Anakin says, later, after the battle is over, when he finally gets Yoda to answer his questions about the clone troopers. “You found out about an entire-ass army of slave child soldiers commissioned AND PAID FOR by one of your own council members, and your reaction is ‘oh thank goodness, now we have an army?’ What the FUCK is WRONG with you?!” Yoda tries to explain to Councilor Skywalker that the situation was dire, they’d had no choice, but Councilor Skywalker just keeps repeating “AN ARMY OF SLAVE CHILD SOLDIERS” at him. “No choice, we had,” Yoda says yet again.

“BULLSHIT, you had no choice!” Anakin yells. “You could have chosen to not use the entire army of slave child soldiers that you legally own!”

“Let Kenobi and the others die, you would have? Hmm?”

“PROBABLY, YEAH!” Anakin hollers (”Thanks,” mutters Obi-Wan). “Sometimes the choices you have all really suck, but you still have to make them! You can’t just pretend you didn’t have any options, you HAD OPTIONS, and you chose the one that involved using a SLAVE ARMY OF CHILD SOLDIERS.” He gestures behind him to the battlefield, where clone troopers and medics are moving amongst the bodies, white and red stark against the sand, tallying their dead brothers.

Yoda shakes his head. “emotional, you are, young Skywalker.” he said. “Cloud your judgement, your feelings do.” 

“Yeah, I’m fucking emotional!” Anakin practically screams. “I have personal beef with slavery, so excuse me if I feel emotions about it. Your problem is that you’re able to use an ARMY OF SLAVE CHILD SOLDIERS and not feel bad about it! Your lack of emotions is clouding YOUR judgement!” He stomps off. Yoda shakes his head. Skywalker is young, and too close to the issue of slavery to really have perspective on it. He does not understand. It was a great loss to the Jedi Order when the Council rejected him, all those years ago- if he had been trained as a Jedi, he would have learned to put aside his emotions about slavery, and he would have understood why it was necessary now. If Anakin could have heard what Yoda was thinking, he would have turned right back around, picked Yoda up, and punted him like a limmie ball.

Anakin and Maul return to Tatooine. Maul offers to assassinate the entire Jedi Council, but Anakin says no. He’s still fuming about his conversation with Yoda. He knows he gets emotional. He knows that Yoda isn’t entirely wrong- he knows he lets his emotions cloud his judgement sometimes. It’s something he’s worked hard on, over the years, him and Maul. How to take a step back from the emotions howling in your head, and how to view the situation without them getting in the way. And what kinds of situations you should let your emotions guide you. Anakin thinks he’s damn well entitled to strong emotions about slavery. 

Short of declaring war on the entire Jedi Order, Anakin doesn’t know what to do about the Republic’s slave army. The Tatooine Council releases a public condemnation of it, explicitly calling it slavery and calling for the clones to be freed. The Council seriously debates joining the Separatists, until Padme (the Senator, not the Rancor) and Shmi look in-depth at the Separatist Council, which is buried deep in the pockets of corporate interests. Shmi files a lawsuit, under the Republic’s anti-slavery legislation, suing for the freedom of the clones. It’s a battle of miserable inches, and meanwhile, the war rages.

With Dooku gone, Sidious’s only means of controlling the Separatists is through Grievous and Ventress, both of whom are loose cannons whose loyalty (and competence) he seriously doubts. It’s frustrating for him, and not necessarily better for the Jedi and their army (of slave child soldiers). Sidious needs to keep the war in careful balance, neither side gaining too much ground, to draw it out and grind the Jedi down and manipulate their public image until he can heap all the blame on them. Without Dooku to pass down his orders, he has no way of keeping a firm check on the Separatist Council, and the Seps are in serious danger of completely overrunning the Republic. The droid army is fifty times as many as the clones, and the Separatists have the Trade Federation, the Banking Clans, and all of the major military tech corporations on their side. Honestly, it’s a testament to the Jedi and the Clone Army that they haven’t lost the war in the first month.

Speaking of that first month, Anakin doesn’t spend long on uninvolved in the war. Scant weeks after Geonosis, the Separatist Army threatens to roll right over Tatooine on their way to gaining control of the Outer Rim Hyperlanes. Tatooine has no army, doesn’t even have a police force. It has no fleet, no orbital defenses, and the droid army headed their way has ten times more droids than there are guns on the planet. The Council faces a choice. Ask the Republic to send in the GAR to defend them- ask for an army of slaves to be sent to die on Tatooine, to stain the sand with enslaved blood so soon after Tatooine clawed her way to freedom, or do nothing, and almost certainly ensure the annihilation of Tatooine and her people. To die, or to live by the blood of slaves who died for you. It’s not a pretty choice.

In the end, the choice is taken away from them (and perhaps it’s a kindness, that they weren’t forced to choose, perhaps it’s the coward’s way out, but it is what it is). A GAR cruiser shows up in orbit, and the Council is hailed by a man identifying himself as Captain Rex, commanding officer of the 501st legion of the GAR.

“The Republic sent you here?” Anakin asks, incredulously. 

“Well, not exactly.” Captain Rex hedges. “The 501st is due for leave on Kamino, but the hyperdrive was making funny noises, so we decided to stop off in the nearest Republic system to check it out.” Rex shrugs. “If a bunch of tinnies just so happen to show up, it’s not like we’ll just sit back and watch.”

“Why are you doing this?” Anakin asks the clone captain, once they’ve got him on planet and in the council room. He’s got a lump in his throat, and his eyes are stinging. The 501st has no Jedi on board, no natborn officers, and no orders to go to Tatooine. Rex and the 501st showed up here of their own free will. Because they wanted to. To defend Tatooine.

“Geonosis.” Rex says. “On Geonosis, you saved the lives of over two hundred of us. Including me. We couldn’t stand by and let your planet fall to the Separatists, Councilor Skywalker.”

After the battle, during the cleanup, when Tatooinians are passing through the rows of injured, giving out water- giving out life- Rex tells Anakin the other reason.

“We all know about Tatooine, sir.” He says, quietly. “A bunch of slaves who stood up and said “no,” and took their freedom.” He shrugs. “Stories like that, it gives us hope. For the future.” He fixes Anakin with a stare. “If we let that hope die, we die too. Tatooine cannot fall.”

That is the first time Anakin and Rex fight together. Somehow, when the 501st leaves Tatooine, Anakin goes with them- officially, as a consultant/observer, appointed at the request of Senator Skywalker to observe the GAR and monitor the health and wellbeing of the troopers. Unofficially, Anakin and Rex become a lethal team, making the 501st one of the most effective legions in the Galaxy. Anakin isn’t dumb. He knows he’s being a massive hypocrite, running around with an army of slave child soldiers. Rex, however, insists that it’s different.

“First of all, we asked you to come with us.” he says. “Second of all, it’s not like you staying behind would have made any difference in our situation. And besides, scrapping clankers isn’t the only reason I asked you to come with us.” Anakin raises an eyebrow.

And Rex introduces Anakin to his older brother, Cody, commander of the 212th (Anakin is happy to see Obi-Wan again, but appalled to meet Obi-Wan’s fourteen-year-old togruta padawan, because why would you put a CHILD in a warzone, in a COMMAND POSITION). And Cody brings Anakin in on The Plan. The clones will not remain slaves forever, and they will not wait for some elusive promise of gratitude after the war is over. They will take their freedom, and they will defend their own, and they’re asking Anakin, who freed the slaves of Tatooine, to help them do it. 

“So basically, you want me on as a consultant.”

“Basically, yeah.” Cody says. “And also as a guy with a lightsaber who can leap fifty feet into the air and dodge blaster bolts. Those are always handy to have around.”

So Anakin and Rex and Cody, and Cody’s small circle of commanders, lay their plans. And in the meantime, there’s a war to fight. Shmi’s still on Tatooine, but Maul comes with Anakin and the 501st. He and Rex get along like a house on fire, but you wouldn’t know it from watching them- they do nothing but argue and needle each other. Rex sarcastically calls Maul “Commander Maul” because it pisses him off so much, and it catches on with the whole legion. Maul constantly mutters about murdering and/or poisoning Rex.

But after Ventress almost chokes Rex to death, and breaks into his mind to make him do her bidding, Maul doesn’t leave Rex alone for a week, and clutches his hand tightly in the medbay. Rex doesn’t mention it, so neither does Anakin. 

Padme, on the other hand, makes no secret of how much she loves Rex (the Rancor, not the Senator, though she likes him too). Padme seems to have concluded that Rex is some sort of long-lost hatchling, and can be seen chasing Rex down the hangar bay, trying to corral him into the nest she’s constructed in the corner reserved for her. Rex gets used to surprise cuddles from a massive predator.

The Jedi Council are at their wit’s end with Skywalker, but their hands are full and honestly, he’s a benefit to the war effort, so they assign Obi-Wan to “supervise” the legion, and leave them to it. Obi-Wan and Anakin strike up a deep friendship, unfettered by the baggage that comes with being master and padawan. Obi-Wan finds himself having serious questions about the Jedi’s role in the war, since Anakin is not at all shy about challenging him on the whole “slave army of child soldiers” thing. Obi-Wan is also, quite frankly, too busy to effectively teach a padawan, and by this point, he knows that Anakin’s had some sort of Force training. He’s fought beside him enough to be confident in his skills, and often sends Ahsoka on extended missions with the 501st, and explicitly begs Anakin to help him fill in the gaps in her training. Anakin obliges enthusiastically. 

Of course, Maul helps train her too. Obi-Wan shows up on the Resolute one day to pick her up, and asks how her training’s going. 

“Great!” She says. “Skyguy’s weird uncle is teaching me jar’kai-”

“Anakin has an uncle?” Obi-Wan asks, surprised. “Who knows jar’kai?”

And so Obi-Wan and Maul meet once again. And Obi-Wan is just absolutely pole-axed. 

“Darth Maul?” He splutters. “Is your uncle?” 

“Not biologically,” Anakin shrugs. “He practically raised me, along with my mom. He taught me everything I know about lightsabers and the Force.”

“...”

“...you did say Sith, Anakin, you bastard, sand-sifting MY ASS-”

“Oh, it’s you.” Maul says. “I won’t kill you, but only because Anakin likes you.” Obi-Wan throws up his hands.

Somehow, Obi-Wan and Maul come to an understanding. Somehow, Obi-Wan doesn’t turn him over to the council. 

At one point, a giant of a zabrak, easily eight feet tall, with skin a poisonous yellow, shows up, claiming that Maul is his brother, and that he’s here to bring him home to Dathomir. Maul takes one look at Savage and goes “Fuck that”. “I will train you in the ways of the Force,” he says. “I can show you power like you’ve never wielded before.” he says. “You shall be a great and feared Sith Lord,” he says. “Have some hot chocolate, you look cold,” he says. “Put on a sweater.” Savage, slightly bemused, comes to terms with the fact that he’s just been adopted.

It’s Maul who figures it out, of course. How could he not? He was raised by Sidious. He knows how devious he is, how his plans have layers upon layers, backups upon backups, contingencies stacked from here to the Outer Rim. Once Sidious moves, you can be sure that any reasonable outcome will be in his favor, because he has completely engineered the situation before you were even aware it existed.

The Sith caused the war and are playing both sides. The Sith caused the clones to be commissioned (these things are trivially easy to figure out, if you’re paying attention). The Sith want the Jedi dead.

“Contingencies,” Maul mutters. “It’s always a trap, and there’s always contingencies.”

When he finds the chip in Rex’s head, he shakes with rage and refuses to talk to anyone, fearing, for the first time in years, that he will lose control and hurt someone he loves. It is Rex who talks him down, who manages to get close to him, who embraces him and lets him cry on his shoulder, then scream and rage and punch the walls. When Maul is able to explain, Rex has to choke back his own terrified, horrified sobs. He holds them back, and calmly looks at Maul and says “What are you going to do about it?”

The surgery, they discover, is simple enough. An astromech can do it in two minutes (C2PO can do it in seventy seconds, and Artoo can’t stand it). When Anakin is told, he goes quiet for a minute, and when he looks back up, it is not Anakin, Rex’s friend, Maul’s kid, who is sitting at the table in the briefing room. It is He Who Walks in the Sky, Huttslayer, Breaker of Chains, who looks back at them. Anakin Skywalker has always wanted nothing more than to free all the slaves. And Anakin Skywalker’s destiny has always been to do what he wanted.

They tell Cody. They modify their plans. They quietly contact medics throughout the GAR, and Artoo quietly sends the details to every military astromech he trusts. When the army is safe from Sidious’ control, Anakin, Rex, and Maul conspire to lure him off of Coruscant. Maul takes over Mandalore, exiling the duchess and announcing a New Sith Empire. Sidious shows up, declaring that Maul has become a rival, disowning his former apprentice and attacking him, with intent to kill. Savage loses an arm. Maul almost loses his life. But as he lies on the ground at Sidious’s feet, arms trembling with the effort of holding the parry keeping Sidious’ saber from his throat, he hears “We’ve got the face shot! Go, go go!” in his earpiece. Gunfire, real slugthrowers, difficult to block with a saber, erupts around him. C3PO and his arsenal, along with Fives, Jesse, and Echo, the 501st’s best ARC troopers, open fire on Sidious. The Sith is forced to back away, raising a hand to stop the bullets in midair. Maul leaps to his feet, and Anakin joins him, lightsaber drawn. 

The fight is quick, but brutal. Maul’s hands threaten to tremble with terror, facing down the horror of his childhood, the monster whose treatment of him is woven fundamentally into his psyche, whose shadow has haunted Maul all his life, and still invades his dreams. But he reaches out to his family, to Rex, beside him, steady, full of faith in him, to Anakin, a blazing sun of love and anger, a shield of raw power, and to Shmi, all the way in her Senate offices on Coruscant, cool and calm and soothing like a desert spring as ever-present as the stars. His hands do not tremble. He raises his lightsaber against his master, beside the blade of his son. Together, they beat the Sith Lord back. Anakin binds the Sith’s blade, knees him in the ribs, and while Sidious is thus occupied, Maul cuts his head off.

“You were a terrible parent,” he pants, and spits on the corpse. Then, he collapses, and Rex is there to catch him, and Maul clings to him and shakes, and cries. Anakin reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder, and Rex pulls him in with a look, and together, they surround Maul, a bulwark against the rest of the world, a safe circle for him to fall apart for a little bit. At some point, one of them unstraps the small camera that Maul had been wearing on his chest. Ahsoka has, at that point, already sent the footage to every major news office on Coruscant.

That evening, plastered all over the galactic news, is a video of the Chancellor himself, showing up on a neutral world and attacking its sovereign leader, wielding red lightsabers of all things. And it’s obviously the Chancellor; there’s a clear shot of his face when he knocks Mandalore’s ruler to the ground and the camera gets a good view right up into his hood.

It’s a massive scandal. One tabloid shows the footage with a little counter in the corner, counting up every treaty and galactic law that Palpatine violates onscreen. The only thing that saves Palpatine from impeachment and arrest is the fact that he’s already dead. Inquiries are launched, investigators are sanctioned, documents and hard drives and testimony are subpoena’ed. Padme (the Senator, not the Rancor), spearheads the investigative committee, and within a month, they’ve uncovered decades worth of bribes, backroom deals, contracts with droid manufacturers, clear evidence of Palpatine authorizing Republic funds for weaponry that went straight to the Separatists, and even communication records between the Chancellor and the two military leaders of the Separatists. Grievous and Ventress go into hiding (the Tales of Grievous and Ventress, unlikely buddies forced on an intergalactic road trip on the run from the cops, is a story for a different absurdly long post at 3am). The Separatists break down in chaos, and the war grinds to a halt. In the middle of all the political hurricane, Cody enacts his plan, and the entire GAR simultaneously deserts, and fucks directly off to Tatooine. This ignites another scandal, with Senators calling for Tatooine’s expulsion from the Republic. Shmi stands in her Senate Pod, hands tucked into her roughspun sleeves, listening attentively while Senator Burtoni of Kamino accuses her of theft.

“If Tatooine does not return the stolen military assets, the Senate may sanction the use of force!” the Senator from Ryloth threatens.

“Pardon me,” Shmi says, “May I ask what army the Senate is planning sending to invade Tatooine? I was under the impression that the only Republic army was already there.” There’s a bit of an awkward silence.

In the middle of the shitstorm, before Shmi is arrested and Anakin declared an enemy of the state, Shmi’s lawsuit finally receives a ruling. And just like that, the clones are legally free. And the judge orders the Senate to pay reparations. Anakin cackles with glee when he hears. 

Rex and Cody, with the full support of the people of Tatooine, begin the long, hard, work of resettling their brothers and building a life for the vod’e. Shmi files a lawsuit against the Zygerrian Empire. Savage receives a new arm, courtesy of Anakin, who may or may not have added a few extra utilities to it. Ahsoka is knighted, and controversially invites Anakin to be present at the ceremony, along with Obi-Wan. Maul admits, very quietly and where only Rex can hear, that he doesn’t actually want to poison him. “I know,” Rex says, smiling at him. Anakin, meanwhile, finally marries Padme, the love of his life (the Senator, not the Rancor).

And in Mos Eisly, there is a stone slab, pulled from a crumbled wall and stuck upright in the ground in the middle of the square. No one knows who put it there, but someone carved fifty-seven names into the stone. The fifty-seven names of the clone troopers who died defending Tatooine from the Separatist army, at the beginning of the war. The last slaves to spill their blood on the sands of Tatooine.

[papytonpropaganda]

i was reading ur ut headcanon list, and i was wondering about ur Pap vs forces of love hcs. can i hear some 👀

hm well, they're not TOO different from my regular headcanons? I guess the main difference would be the background I imagine for Papyrus--unlike UT, UF Papyrus was always pretty popular and a part of the Royal Guard, though he still has that deep desire to be even MORE popular. UF Papyrus also really craves being close emotionally to other people, but is generally too afraid to be real friends with anyone except on the shallowest level, because he lives in a world where that's looked down upon at best and seen as weakness to be taken advantage of at worst.

I suppose other characters would be a little different too--I actually headcanon UF Undyne as someone who is, arguably, LESS hotheaded than UT Undyne. that may come as a shock, but I really enjoy taking the unexpected route with my version of UF. so my UF Undyne isn't any more evil than the other characters. she still hates humanity, but also still cares about monsterkind and hates what it's devolved into. she cares a lot about Papyrus, and she's concerned about his LV. she's also likely to be extraordinarily kind to people she likes on the down-low. that said, if you threaten her or her loved ones, she WILL kick your ass, perhaps lethally.

UF Sans is less apathetic than UT Sans, though on the surface they appear to be equally such. in Papyrus vs the Forces of LOVE, Sans was taught by his father to rise above the rest. he did his best to do so even after Gaster's death, and stopped trying after watching his brother fall into the same trap everyone else was stuck in. he and Papyrus have almost switched places in terms of popularity--UT Papyrus has no friends while UF Papyrus has lots of people who like and respect him, whereas UT Sans has a lot of friends and UF Sans has to have eyes in the back of his head 24/7 just to stay alive. the only reason he's made it this far is arguably because no one wants to piss off Papyrus.

I really dislike the common depiction of UF Alphys as abusive to Mettaton. in my mind, she's still a bit mad-scientisty, but similar to UT, UF Alphys truly befriended Mettaton and made the body of his dreams for him. she also really admires Undyne, because she's seen her gentle side and her hopes for monsterkind to find real love again. UF Alphys also made the Amalgamates like in UT, and she's arguably even more terrified than UT Alphys of it being found out, because that could mean a painful death for her.

(TW: suicide mention) I do kind of see UF Mettaton as the common fanon, though I have my own tweaks. he really wanted to become a star in the Underground, planning to bring back hope and promote peace. unfortunately, most monsters laughed him off. the people running the new television industry found that making Mettaton a laughingstock was getting them a lot of views and therefore a lot of money, so they kept him on and forced him to do some pretty humiliating things. because of that, UF Mettaton is pretty depressed and yes, suicidal, but he keeps holding just for Alphys, his only real friend.

UF Napstablook isn't too much different from UT Blooky in my mind, though they probably have a worse temper because of the general atmosphere of the Underground, and because of their beloved cousin going missing. they're a secret fan of Mettaton.

I never really liked the popular fanon for UF Toriel, so she's also very similar to her UT counterpart. she's a very kind and motherly person who largely keeps to herself and watches over the Ruins, where she allows no killing if she can help it. she's definitely befriended Sans, who can't bring himself to tell her just how bad things are in the rest of the Underground, so she's only got vague ideas of just how dangerous it would be for a human child.

and UF Asgore... it was his actions that brought the Underground to such a horrid state, but I can't at all view that as intentional. he's honestly just as averse to killing as UT Asgore. but unlike UT Asgore, he doesn't interact much with the people in his kingdom, fearing their reaction to his self-perceived pathetic-ness. he keeps to himself, becoming incredibly lonely, simultaneously praying another human never comes, and yet almost hoping they do so his people can see the sun and have a chance at healing.

and then. Flowey.

he's pretty pathetic, choosing to accompany Frisk on their journey through the Underground and helping them where he can. so, I basically went with popular fanon on this one.

(or... did I? 😏)

[ljsarts]

Hades Au: Persephones Descent (AU info under the cut)

[Id: A drawing of Persephone from the Supergiant game Hades. she has blong hair braided with green ribbons and laurel leaves in shades of red to yellow. Her expression is of rage with intense low lighting, she's wearing a tunic, skull pauldrons, a green cloak and has red lava like markings up her arms. The background is a gradient with the text "Hades, where's my son"/end id]

Persephone's descent : An Au

This Au begins with Zagreus living above . He is in turn stolen back to the house of Hades and best mom™ Persephone is incredibly pissed off and ready to kick ass.

Thematically wise this merges the themes of the original game , original lore used in game + the sort of relationship shown in the Bridge production of midsummer night's dream between titania and Oberon. (For Hades and Persephone that is).

Things that remain the same: -

-Orpheus' failed attempt to get Eurydice free.

-Zeus' kidnapping of Persephone.

-Hades and Persephone did in the past truly growing to love each other , enough to have Zag together.

What changes:-

shortly before Zag is born Persephone asks to go back to the surface. She fears a new god's presence appearing in the house of Hades if detected by the Olympians could set off an investigation and then war. She says with Nyx’s help they can hide between the Olympians and the house of Hades alongside the river styx away from prying eyes. She also fears that if he is born in the realm of the dead what that will do to him as a baby , she thinks the only way he can live is to be born on the surface.

Hades is the one truly trapped as he cannot follow where Persephone treads, at first he hates the idea but as the days go by and zags birth approaches he realises it's what's best much to his disgruntlement. He asks Nyx to sneak Persephone out of the house to make her believe it is not his wishes but that she has to go anyway and to not return for all of their sakes.

Zag is born by the Styx he lives a life in the cottage they build there together , every now and then Zag sees a green mist in the distance when a farmer collapses or a elder in the village just off the coast passes away peacefully , the green ghostly figure does not cross the threshold of the cottages walls, does not step into the thriving bountiful gardens only watches . green with envy .

Every now and then Charon visits sparingly bringing news from Hades or Hermes bringing news from the Olympians all seems well in the in-between.

One night Zagreus strays too far from the cottage and it's warm green fields, the green ghostly figure he follows further along the clifftops , past the sea dowsed orange with the sunset to a small clearing covered in snow and pillar after pillar after pillar and before him a door taller than any building he's seen before.

Zagreus disappears that night , the next morning Charon arrives early before Persephone can even wake , she arises to aggressive banging on her front door like a drum , Hermes is there as well with Grave news that Zagreus has arrived in the underworld , he's gone.

Persephone is grief stricken till the duo tell her no hes not dead but he has been taken , stolen by Hades and Persephone is pissed. She gathers whatever she has I'm talking sickle, pitchfork, a tonne of pomegranates , the boons of one speedy lad and whatever Charon can sell her.

Alternatively the boons she gains along the way could be from the cythonic gods excluding Hades whom are wanting to help Persephone.

Persephone gets the help of those she encounters along the way who are posted up to slow her down which is :-

-Cerberus:

Whom she's so angry is being used a s a gaurd dog he's a good boy who doesn't deserve to be stuck at the doorway waiting.

- Achilles and Patroclus In Elysium

Whom Hades has reunited so they can fight together in the arena against Persephone . Once beaten and finding out what Persephone is here for they both agree to help her , they know two well, one person who wants a "demon spawn" out of the underworld who'd be happy to help her get out of Elysium

(This is Asterius and Theseus)

-In Asphodel rather than Eurydice (who's in the house) it's Orpheus who sides with Persephone's Lament at having to leave behind the one person they love the most because of doubt. He tells her about Eurydice and how she now resides in the house of Hades and how he wishes more than anything to be reunited with her , Persephone offers to take him to her .

*Orpheus joined the party*

-In Tartarus we meet Sisyphus who confesses to chatting with Thanatos who was full of remorse for leading Zag into the house of Hades but couldn't go against Hades demands I mean he's his boss and it's not like he killed zag or anything.

- we get to the back door to the house , skelly almost sets off the alarm but with Cerberus stealing skelly jaw bone he can't really make much noise to alert the rest of the house , with the cover of Nyx and the blind eye of Thanatos Persephone almost has Zagreus back when Megeara spots her and alerts Hades .

-Either that or alternatively Orpheus rushes to Eurydice and the commotion alerts the house to them. Meg is watching over Zag trying to keep a distance between themselves / not get overly familiar "it's nothing personal just business"

Other rambles-

Hades kept Eurydice around instead or Orpheus as Orpheus always sings about lost love and heartbreak and separation . Whereas Eurydice sings about finality , Hades often asks her to sing the song she wrote herself "Good Riddance" , he finds it soothes the souls entering Tartarus and his own.

Zags been trapped in the room Hades had made for him before they'd left , and Zag spends the time it takes Persephone to descend into hell learning about the father he never knew he had.

We enter phase two : I will lovingly call

"Custody negotiations ".

-Persephone is here and she's livid and not leaving without her son

-Hades tells her that Olympus was getting too close to their cottage to finding out about their son he had to come back to the house for all their sakes

- Zagreus wants to leave , Persephone wants him to leave to

- they argue ALOT

-zag gets aquanted with Dusa, Hypno and Cerberus

-when Persephone mentions the constant winter minus their grove Hades realises something is wrong and they need to fix it , Persephone demands due court . All the members of the house must come together and decide / figure out how to inform Olympus of Zags existence so that they may go back to the surface without fear or if it's truly fucked atleast stay underground till it's better