#whereas im asking for help but i dont know what i need and no one has time to figure it out. just feels shit

[frumdyke]

need my dads support with something but hes way busy with grandparents and it really does make me feel like a burden. cus like i do kinda view my grandma as a burden and im doing the same shit shes doing. but what does that say about how i view disabled people. wough

[elftwink]

have to work on a project today and an unrelated thing happened that just made me so so so so so mad (just some irl personal stuff), which normally derails my entire day because i find it so hard to come out of the angry/upset state and tend to just circle back and obsess over whatever triggered it but! today after 20 minutes of that i had a council meeting about it (<- what i call my decision making process) the outcome of which was putting it aside (!!!) for later when i could actually talk about it and resolve it (!!!) & in the meantime we could just do other stuff.

local man exuberant and jubilated to achieve feats of basic emotional self-regulation and was seen excitedly telling reporters he "never thought this day would come" and began giving a thank you speech to nobody in particular. more on this story as it develops

[jakesangel]

jake and reader who sh ꣑୧ - requested

tw//mention of sh, jake is healing n comforting reader

it doesn't go unnoticed how you always hide yourself under your clothes to jake, wearing long sleeves, no short even inside the house. he never asked you why nor why you didn't want to take showers w him or going to the beach, tho he wishes you trust him n tell him why. he understood when, one day, he saw your scars as your sleeve ride up a bit as you pass him the tv remote, but even then he didn't say anything. in fact he even forgot why he wanted the remote, only thinking about you n your problems. for the next few days, he wouldn't stop thinking about it, on why you aren't trusting him or what is going on that he doesn't know off.

few days later, he would come over unnoticed wanting to surprise you, and keeping an eye on you, but to his surprise your place was dark n silent. he wouldnt call you, thinking your asleep. so after he removes his outside clothes n his shoes, he'd go straight to your room, without making any noises, wanting to cuddle you n protecing you in your sleep. as jake opens the door, he almost burst out a yell, panick filling his body, seeing you unfazed state on your bed. tho he doesn't know what to do, he'd quickly compose himself to not make it harder to you. he would let shaky breath as he walk towards you, his eyes set on your frame whereas your eyes,full of tears stays on the ceiling avoiding his reaction. you've tried very hard to protect jake from all your problem, yet he is here n you can't bring yourself to move. y/n ? he called suprinsingly softly, i'm gonna take this away okay ?, taking the vile object off of your bed. he would then kneel next to your bed, please look at me, love, n give you a pained smile, tears building, as you turn your head to his side. come on let's get you cleaned up, as he puts his hands behind your shoulder, helping you to get up.

he would help you, water running where it is red, flinching along side w you when it hurts to munch. he will be the one drying you n disinfect everything. n it's only then he would break the tense silence, does it hurt ?, he'd softly ask as he puts some bandage on your arm. he'd nod at your answer, still not knowing how to handle this very serious situation but he would do what he knows the best : to hug you, to engulf you n protect you as if you were the most fragile thing in the world which you are to him. if you stay silent, he will pull you in a hug, keeping you close, wanting nothinf else to hurt you. but if you thank him he would also comfort you w words my angel, i hope you know how munch i love you n how much i wishes you know you can trust me. i know when things gets hard we can't help but go back to what's the easiest way to cope, even if it's bad for us and even if we promised to not do it again. that's just how we are. and i will not force you to stop nor talk about it but please, baby, can you promise me to fight the urges ? you dont have to tell me when you want to do it but can you come to me first ? im sorry if i made you feel like i wont always be there for you but i am. is it alright for me to ask you that ? can you promise ? please ?

notes : hai anon here is ur request ᵎ i hope i wrote it well tho i'm not close to such topic. i hope you are alright n please come to me if needed <3

@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @stwrjvke @amouriu @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee

[neuroticboyfriend]

do you have any advice for dealing with delusions? im...struggling

also hearing you call me lonely was really appreciated today, thanks :3

i can only share what works for me, which may not work for you. but i work with my delusions, not against them. sane people may find that unhealthy but for me, if i dont decrease my distress, the delusion gets worse. and the more i try to deny the delusion (or paranoia), the more my brain makes me believe it.

basically, it helps me to know everyone's experience of reality is different. and thats ok. even two nonpsychotic people will understand the same event in different ways. i accept what i'm dealing with and find ways to make life tolerable with that.

tw for unreality for the rest of this ask bc i'll share examples of my thought process/actions. dont read if you're susceptible to taking on others' delusions/parnaoia.

if im scared someone's staring at me thru my window, i'll muster the courage to look and then if no one's there, i'll draw my curtains. if i think someone might break into my house, i go and lock all the doors, and i keep an eye on my cat since he'd know if someone were coming.

when it comes to the simulation delusion (i never fully recovered from).. i'll just be like well.. nothing about what im experiencing right now is changing. so, i'm just going to keep living my life and religiously avoid triggers/thinking about it.

whereas if i try to reason myself out of it, my brain will come up with reasons why i cant just go on with my life. or it will lead me to seek out things that trigger it more. which ends dangerously for me.

i've pretty much just learned to take my thoughts at face value, do what i need to feel safe, and not poke the bear. it took time to learn that, but it's been 5 years since I've had anything more than an hour or two of spiraling a bit, every few months. ive had schizoaffective disorder since i was 9. so yea.

[wasyago]

unsure if you’ve been asked this before but what is your character designing process?

i have already answered in this post (you can go read it if you want), though it's more jrwi based, so i feel like i can answer again! i doubt I'll end up saying something new but hwhatever who cares dhhdhd

obviously this isn't math, so there's no specific scheme i follow every time, and each design is different and it all varies heavily.

in general, when i start working on a design i already have *some* sort of idea in mind. normally not for the entirety of it, but some bits and pieces here and there that help me characterize the design in my head! i try to get those on the canvas first. they're like key points, and i most likely wont change them.

(and if i don't have an idea, i don't start drawing. and instead scroll through my gallery or pinterest in search of inspiration)

let's take my Gem's recent design as an example! i knew i wanted her to be a squirrel, and i already had squirrel scar and cub designs to base it off. so the key points were big pointy ears, curvy tail, claws. i also knew i wanted her clothing to look regal and floral, and reflect her main base. this is an idea that i haven't fully visualized, but i kept it in mind and knew in which direction i had to move.

after that comes the point where i start making stuff up 👍��� i enjoy thinking my designs through and making them make sense in my head and be practical. so the process consists of me asking myself questions and then answering them in a design. with occasional "oh wouldn't that be cool" thrown into it.

continuing with gem. she needed to have her clothes be suited for a tail, so her underskirt splits in three parts to make it easier. i still wanted the design to be recognizable as gem and have it resemble her skin; so i kept the white sleeves, the green skirt, the corset. i wanted to make her and scar's designs match, so i changed the corset to green with this long piece of cloth but decided to change the patterns on it. because the brown from the corset was gone, i removed it from her shoes as well and made them black instead, so brown wasn't part of the color pallett anymore. i will introduce pink into the design later, so getting rid of one of the colors wasn't that big of a deal. plus, brown makes her look more down to earth, whereas i want her to look elegant and rich, so its a win/win. i wanted to keep her antlers, but obviously she's not a deer anymore, so i turned them into a crown and made it black to match the shoes. etc etc. i can ramble for three more hours about this hdgshsh.

well, that's how the well thought designs work.

sometimes it's just "im gonna draw all the things i think are fun and cute until i can't think of any" and there's no rhyme or reason to it. that's why things like "doc as a unicorn", one-off series designs, random concepts, aus exist!

sometimes its a "i have no idea what to do with it, so im gonna merge all the layers together and just keep fiddling with it until i figure it out", and that's exactly what happens. if i feel stuck with a design, merging it together and working with both line and color helps a ton, because it helps me to see the design as a whole and i dont have to divide my process and think of which parts im gonna do in color and which in line! recent example is hypno's design. here it is when i didn't know how to make it interesting and the final version:

(funnily enough i still like the first concept, the fact that all the clothes is the same color is quite tasty. but i know that if i needed to draw this design in the future, i would struggle with keeping the clothing layers separated and shading and all that stuff.)

visually i don't think there's much difference between how i design things (?), but the process varies and in my head they're all on like, different tiers.

hopefully this was somewhat helpful! if not it at least let me ramble about my design process which is great hdhsjsh

[epicleovilanon]

ik u said that u dont wanna spoil the who framed kalim al asim au yet but can you tell us a little about the kalim situation??? PLZZZZZ he’s my favorite character and i just need to know what hes up to lol so far its mostly the jamil as jessica concept

lmaooo sure anon, i really was going to keep this under wraps until i wrote it all out (fingers crossed it gets done!!) but since you asked, and since i’ve come to find that talking about the au really does help with plotting out certain things in the fic (and deleting others in favor of new ideas that work better) i’ll put some of Kalim’s situation under the read more!

okay, so first i want you to know this was a very long very detailed explanation, that took me around an hour to get right, only for my phone to bug out and delete everything i had put down. it was entirely frustrating and i don’t know if i can sit down and type out the whole thing again, so this will be a shorter version, i’m sorry 😭

but basically, what’s up with Kalim here, and what works against jamil in the “kalim is too good for jamil” and “jamil is using kalim” rumors and biases is that Kalim’s relationship with Jamil does have consequences.

Kalim’s position as heir for one, is shaky. He’s still heir, but his relationship with Jamil is absolutely being used as fodder by his siblings and their mothers in their bid for the position as Al Asim heir, and in their attempts to undermine Kalim’s favor by his father.

A result of this is Kalim’s funds being limited. he’s not cut off, but as a test or punishment (haven’t really figured that part out yet), his access has been temporarily restricted at the time of his framing.

other information about Kalim in this fic—hmm.

Okay. so i’ve mentioned in another post that im having KaliJami have some time apart after their graduation at NRC. Now, where does that place them in this fic timeline wise? i’m thinking mid-twenties. Jamil graduates and then spends a few years traveling (and, as the fabulous @mari-oaky says in the tags of this post (not mine!!!) they have the hc that “jamil spends his time away from Kalim forming a series of destructive relationships that keep blowing up in his face. he gets disappointed every time because to his surprise no one can bounce back as well as Kalim.”)

and yeah. that’s the vibe!! because i’ve mentioned in another post i think, that one thing Jamil is grappling with, (or rather, was grappling with, because at the point of this fic’s start he and kalim are in an established relationship and so he has come to terms with it) is his feelings regarding Kalim. because when Jamil goes and travels the world, he finds he misses Kalim. and he doesn’t know if that’s because of his life and childhood being spent at Kalim’s side as his servant, or if that’s all genuine Jamil.

but you asked about Kalim so. Kalim is the one who is aware of his feelings for Jamil at the time of their graduation. He’s actually been aware of it for a long time (whereas Jamil has repressed those feelings and is unaware while still acting in a way that ensures his and Kalim’s closeness) and so, Kalim knows he wants Jamil and that he will miss Jamil. He knows he is attached, and he is right about all of that. BUT. there is one thing Kalim was wrong about.

At the time of their graduation, and Jamil’s trip round the world, Jamil leaves with an “i don’t know when i’ll be back” type of statement. but kalim FULLY believes there’s no “when” about it. he is so sure that he’s never going to see Jamil again. that jamil will not come back. (come back to him)

but not coming back has never really crossed Jamil’s mind as a plan, because of course he would come back. his family is here, the scalding sands is his home, and of course, Kalim is there.

because Jamil would come back to Kalim, of course he would, i mean he worries about him all the time, to the point where he has a manual for others to take care of him, and constantly acts in ways that keeps kalim depending on him too. like, the power imbalance in their dynamic is so fascinating because it’s something they both have over the other. red threads typically connect from finger to finger and that may be true for JamiKali as well but their threads? they start from the finger and crawl upwards wrapping around the others throat and back again. the thread will stretch but never snap or go completely taut. these fools will always gravitate right back, they are so messily enmeshed, inextricably intertwined, and they’re cool with that too, at the point of this fic’s starting.

but! jamil is off exploring the world and having destructive relationships, but Kalim, Kalim is maturing and growing up. he’s confident and a little more independent (because he has to be. because jamil isn’t there. he misses him deeply and he aches all the time.) but he’s still the same Kalim. he’s still cheerful and kind and social. he still calls everyone friend, even people he’s just met.

but he’s still the same Kalim, so even tho he calls a lot of people friend, even tho he has a lot of friends, he still doesn’t trust a whole bunch of people—the list is short and Jamil is still at the top of that list. because Jamil is such an essential part of his being, his childhood and his entire basis of framing relationships stem from his bond with Jamil that no other relationship for him can compare

(and same for Jamil btw abt Kalim. no one else will let jamil be as free as he is while still pulling off his little evil schemes and standing by him still)

but yeah, Kalim grows. And Jamil grows, though his growing is a little different. And then Jamil comes back. and Kalim is just!!! he’s soaring!!! he’s so confident now about Jamil, because Jamil came back!! so he pursues Jamil with confidence, with the same utmost devotion that he’s always showered Jamil with, and yeah, Jamil hides his face in his hood, as he always does when he’s flustered, and yeah. the reaction delights Kalim to no end. and Kalim isnt quiet about his affection either—he’s loud and proud, and of course people notice. and people start talking.

but they get together. they’re serious because they couldn’t ever be anything else. people don’t stop talking. kalim weathers more plots by his siblings and their mothers, and jamil is always there. helpin behind the scenes.

and people look at kalim and then look at jamil, and then think, damn. that viper is a lucky opportunistic guy isn’t he. and the al asim heir is a smitten fool in love. but he’s still a fool.

i hope you enjoyed this anon!!! and if you have any more questions, feel free! i love talking about these boys, even tho tumblr erasing my initial response almost made me cry!

[lemonade-luvr]

been thinking about transphobia a lot lately.

grisps. "transandrophobia" is (very probably)* not real. i have not faced discrimination for being a man. ever. evereverever. not by anyone with power over me.

when you transition from female to male (in terms of societal roles rather than an actual preferred gender < weird about their own gender(s))*, you lose one privilege: being cis.

when i as a trans man "pass" as male, i Gain male privilege until i am seen as a woman again. it is not possible for me to permanently sustain this privilege (and i am someone who doesn't pass easily in the slightest so it is rarely given to me), but it is a privilege i can have.

even medically, being treated as a man got me on hormones faster than my transfeminine friend got on her hormones. my doctors took me more seriously. i was on a waitlist for 3ish years. my friend was on a waitlist for 6 years, and had to wait 3 more to actually get somewhere, and had to deal with incredibly invasive and humiliating shit that didnt even seem to serve much of a purpose. my doctors didn't even chase me up on my weight. i haven't weighed myself since i was like 12.

and when i don't pass, it isnt a problem, because it is not nearly as taboo for a woman to wear pants as it is for a man to wear a dress. its actually fairly standard. i just get treated as a girl. which sucks! but is still a relatively normal thing to be.

whereas trans women have to take a much more substantial risk when presenting themselves as. themselves. it is Dangerous to be seen as a "man" in a dress. you lose privilege because you are seen as very probably gay, or even more extreme as some kind of sexual predator.

i know we're on tumblr, and this is a fucking echochamber of loving GNC men and wanting to see men in dresses, but people get attacked for looking like that, even more so when they're trans women and not men at all.

to my understanding, to be a trans woman is to sacrifice either your privilege or your sense of self. it's terrifying. isolating. i couldnt begin to feel that sort of fear.

when a trans woman speaks up and says that my group, transmascs trans men, threaten her? it is my duty to give her support as someone who cannot fathom how hard it is to be her. i don't make it her problem if that makes me feel hurt. i make it my mission to make people like her feel safer. and thats as simple as treating her like shes a human being.

the harassment ive seen from trans men on this platform aimed towards trans women (more recently patricia taxxon) is fucking disgusting. it isnt making us look any better, it isnt making us any safer to be around. its absolutely fucking disgusting. you people are tar pits and i want nothing to do with you. no i dont care about her fetishes. leave her alone.

not at all have i said trans men dont experience discrimination. btw. but the discrimination we experience does not hinge on the fact we are men, it hinges on the fact that we are trans or we are seen as women.

if theres anything anyone wants to like correct me on im all ears but im not gonna respond well to people being shitty. im fed up with what ive been seeing go around. we need trans people to be listening to eachother and helping eachother, not encouraging behaviour that makes our trans sisters terrified of us.

thanks for listening to my rant its been a long week.

*compulsion who asked

[t0ast-ghost]

S2 Episode 8 (I, Mudd) Garfield guess who’s here? Please tell me it’s not Mudd. It’s Mudd.

Commence:

- Why are him and Spock just walking the halls together. If I was the crew I’d be going livid, like get this: there’s these two men who are head of the science and medical staff on the ship and they fucking hate each other, they fight all over the ship constantly and you’ve seen them at odds a gazillion times. One day you’re walking the halls to get to your station and you just see them walking together, talking normally, and one of them is even smiling in a sort of fond way. My jaw would drop honestly

- They’re already fighting.. it took less than 30 seconds

- This guy’s on a mission! I wonder who he could be?

- “Mr. Spock we seem to be taking an unscheduled ride” “Interesting.” Spock does not give a fuck about your dramatics, Kirk

- Spock looks at the guy who stops Kirk and just thinks “fuck, McCoy was right.”

- LMAO the electronics in him look like smt from doctor who

- I love Uhura and Chekov almost bumping into the android

- oh god this guy again (Mudd)

- “Jamie boy.” That- that barely even makes sense

- Kirk what is that stance

- “And you’re all going to be here, uh, quite probably for the rest of your lives. *evil laugh*”Spock and McCoy are unconcerned

- Okay I think McCoy is just lording it over Spock that he was right

- Okay there’s a certain joviality that I appreciate to the back and forth of Mudd explaining and Kirk, McCoy, and Spock all interrupting

- this is the greatest line in all of Star Trek

- Kirk: Well, opinions?

Chekov: I think we’re in a lot of trouble

Kirk: That’s a great help, Mr. Chekov. Bones?

McCoy: Well, I think Mr. Chekov’s right. We are in a lot of trouble

Kirk: Spock? And if you say we’re in a lot of trouble…

Spock: We are.

Kirk then gets the most defeated look on his face

- Scotty coming in hot and cursing out Mudd

- CHEKOV DONT FUCK THE ANDROIDS

- Kirk is like an angry small dog

- “No, lord Mudd.” “Wuuut??” Good line delivery

- “How do you know so much?” “I asked them.” “Oh.” Wait wait wait, this is simple deduction. Deduction? Sherlock. Holmes and Watso? MCCOY AND SPOCK AS HOLMES AND WATSON!!! Oh wait Data and Geordi did that..

- “Now listen, Spock, you may be a wonderful science officer, but believe me you couldn’t sell fake patents to your mother!” “I fail to understand why I should care to induce my mother to purchase falsified patents.” I love this man

- The name is doctor practice. Mal practice.

- uhura no! WAIT UHURA YES IM SO PROUD. I love how happy they all are

- hi hello what the fuck is happening. What are they celebrating. How did Kirk convince McCoy and Scotty to do that?

- The androids flirting with Spock. Kirk and the rest have to dance whereas Spock is just causing drama “I love you. But I hate you.” “But we’re identical.” *blows up*

- They’re gonna paradox Norman

- WJAT

- Them imitating phasers takes the cake. I think if I ever show anyone an example episode it would be this one

- “he’s dead.” Damn no Jim. Second time Scotty’s ‘died’ this season

- This is like watching Shakespeare

- I would not be surprised if this episode was inspired by children playing make believe (honestly really genius and fun writing)

- Oooh they’re paradoxing him

- “I aM nOt prOgrAmMeD to reSpoNd in thAt aRea.” The fucking sass. Kirk has been spending too much time with Spock and Bones

- “Which I find eminently satisfactory, Doctor, for nowhere, am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.” Basically Spock loves them and there’s nowhere he’d rather be

- Kirk hates Mudd so much, it’s almost bitchy at this point

- Uhura’s wave to Mudd is so iconic and amazing

Okay one of my favourite episodes, if not my favourite actually. I loved more of the bridge crew interaction (no sulu☹️) especially getting to see Uhura, like I wanna talk more about her character but there’s so little that I’m just trying to pick up the crumbs.

Masterpost

Episode written by Stephen Kandel

[fatedbutblinking]

scorpius malfoy x cho changs daughter: secret relationship

scorpius malfoy and cho changs daughter have a secret, forbidden relationship. she is a smart, kind, beautiful gryffindor girl, even moreso than her mother, and attracts a lot of attention. whereas no father lets their daughter near scorpius because hes a deatheaters son with a reputation of sex, smoking and disobeying hogwarts rules. this has especially been relayed to her, as her mother experienced firsthand the death of cedric due to death eaters. but, no matter how hard she tries, she cant stay away from him.

sexual tension. long glances in class. sneaking off during balls when theyve both got different dates, her with james potter and him with an angsty slytherin girl. meeting in the bathroom. midnight strolls through the corridors, teasing her with nobody around.

they almost get caught, and that changes everything for her. her parents would kill her if they found out she was sneaking around with a deatheaters son. but she cant stay away from him.

so she hatches a plan without telling scorpius: shell date her best friend james potter, someone all of her friends and family wanted her to be with anyway, so that nobody suspects anything between her and malfoy. what does james get? hes into teddy lupin, and he needs to cover up his feelings for him by dating a girl. with all the attention he was getting from girls, people were starting to wonder why he wasnt dating anyway.

scorpius fucking despises this. he doesnt know about the plan because she doesnt want to hurt his feelings or risk losing him. they continue to have sex on and off, still wanting each other, but he feels like shit that shes with james instead of him. he doesnt understand why she keeps coming back to use him if shes got a boyfriend already. and its his bestfriends brother - its fucked. feeling betrayed, he shags other girls, ones that want him because the bad boy act is appealing. he makes sure she sees him.

for a while, she lets him. because shes been loving him from a distance for so long. but everyone has a breaking point. she meets hers after seeing scorpius go off with a really pretty veela girl, someone who looks nothing like her, and she becomes so insecure that she sleeps with james.

james, on the other hand, is in shock that hes not completely gay. maybe like 80 percent. but she is really really hot so he cant even blame himself tbh. because hes not fully gay, she suggests they end things with each other since its caused enough pain for everyone, and shes already lost the boy that she loves. hesitantly he asks her to hang in there and stay with him until he figures out his sexuality properly.

so she watches malfoy from a distance again. he absolutely despises her.

james meets a boy he likes in school. they get along really well. he speaks to her about it, and he comes to accept that hes bisexual. he also accepts that teddy will never be his, and theres more out there that actually suits him.

one day she bumps into scorpius at dinner. malfoy takes one good look at her and walks the other way.

"malfoy."

"dont."

"please. i cant stand that you hate me."

"theres a first time for everything, angel."

"i just want to talk to you."

"i dont want to hear it."

"youre being a dick."

"youre the dick, angel."

"im a dick-angel?"

"you know what? fuck off. youve got no right to stand here talking to me like that when you fucked off with james. i mean, james? of all fucking people."

"but i didnt."

"you -- "

"because i loved you. i love you."

the words just come out. she cant even help them. she supposed she would prefer being known as a cheater to everyone than for outing james sexuality.

shes crying now. sobbing.

"im beyond in love with you, and i dont know what to do."

"dont cry, angel. fuck, please dont cry."

"i cant be away from you anymore, malfoy. please dont go."

"i wont. i promise."

"malfoy -- "

"dont talk, just breathe. youre choking on your own tears."

"but i -- "

"i know," he says. "and ive loved you too."

then james decides to stand up and come out publically. that makes it all clearer to malfoy. eventually they do have to confess that james and her had shagged one time to test if he was really gay (and because she was insecure), which scorpius almost kills james for, but he was shagging people too so he accepts it. scorpius and her get together properly. everyone thinks of them as the couple they never expected, but the one they needed.

[lazaruspiss]

For the ask game, I'm gonna go with a non-obvious one here: Barbara Gordon/Dinah Lance.

And also an obvious one, Jaydick, cause I wanna read you rave about it :)))

Oh boy. DinahBabs first

Why don’t you ship it?

I do not like babs. Everything I've seen her in (besides gotham knights, funny enough) has me feeling either really abrasive towards her or like she's filling the role of "the girl" character. That said if anyone has recs for good stuff with her in it I'll give it a shot! I don't want to hate her or anything but I've really only seen her at her worst. I also just don't know enough about dinah, i like her in the cartoons she's been in but thats not always the best reference for what a character is like overall. (Again. I do take comic recs if any of u have a ship or a blorbo that u wanna share ur love for <3)

What would have made you like it?

Have you seen what they do with babs nowadays. Get her away from tom taylor im begging you. And again: i gotta read more dinah stuff bc she seems cool! But i am. How do u say. Lazy

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Shoutout to the lesbians, i dont know them but id be happy for them if they got together. Also dinahs hot.

OK. JAYDICK. AAAH. Thank u zero

What made you ship it?

BROTHERS IN BLOOD. EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT THE VORE AND THE TENTACLES BUT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THE RITUALS. I should reblog some of my BiB reactions bc i stand by them! Its good!

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Ohhh god. I am so unwell about them. Everything? They r so cliche ship archetypes and i am not immune to it. The childhood crush potential, the red/blue, the maladjusted social butterfly/slightly more put-together introvert, you can even do enemies to lovers if that's what you wanna do. I also think they have the potential to understand each other more than anyone else in their lives, its hard to picture them having a completely happy ending with anyone other than each other. (Is this what having an otp is like?) I still like other ships involving them but theyre so Soulmates to me <3

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Dick isn't the one helping Jason, it's the other way around. Jason is so much more attuned to his emotions whereas Dick is an absolute mess of repression and baggage, and Jason gets it! He understands how fucked up and traumatized Dick is! The reason why it would be hard for them to confront challenges would rest heavily on the mix of Dick's lifetime of self-sacrifice and repression and Jason's unapologetic attitude about his trauma. Jason can confront these things in a way that Dick has just never allowed himself to do, Jason's whole /thing/ is confronting his fucked up past. I have given many a speech on how Jason could teach Dick how to heal, but I think it might be more common to see that Dick has to make Jason "good" rather than reflecting on the healing that they both need on a more personal level.

[aropride]

i am losing it the tiniest bit .

googling like "my mother treats me like a child" or wgatever just brings up like ppl talking abt their mothers not wanting them to grow up or not giving them enough freedom which is a valid problem and one i have but it is a completely different problem from the one im looking for information on which is that i am a 20 year old man and my mother babytalks at me like a four year old on a regular basis. its drivng me fucking crazy but i dont want to argue and she wouldnt listen anyway she'd probably just be like "i dont do that" which .okay. but like holy fucking shit it is SO annoying and demeaning and WEIRD.

and like i can handle it when she treats me like. a teenager. like whatever im 20 close enough i dont care. but when she treats me like im 10. or 7. or fucking 4. its like. what the fuck is your problem.

and like okay i was thinking abt this the other day bc i was talking 2 my dad like just hanging out and he was treating me like a Person and like. idk i feel like when he had kids he was Expecting and Excited for us to turn into little people with our own thoughts and free will (maybe not the transgender communist thing i think that was a bit far but he's always been supportive in terms of like. me being my own person otherwise).

and my dad volunteers at church with some of the kids like 9-12 age range, and a lot of them have rough home lives and 'act out' cuz of that and he's very patient with them and helps them with what theyre going thru and generally just acts like theyre little people. because they ARE little people. like he genuienly cares for those kids and is always like... taking them to the park and stuff but also like, being character witness for their parents' custody battles n shit like actually helping and suppotying them.

whereas my mother volunteers at church with babies and toddlers and its almost like she sees them as pets. and will complain abt them being annoying or MEAN if they cry or dont want to play with her. like she's nice to them but she will complain abt it as if theyre trying to spite her

and i feel like she didnt become a parent bc she wanted to raise a small human i feel like she just wanted a pet. and shes been better with my sister but when i was a kid the second i was like 6 and developed some free will she kinda like. Moved on from me LOL. and stopped caring abt me outside of like. buying food. wire mother type shit. idk it's just really obvious that my dad cares abt these kids as people but my mother cares abt them for only as long as they dont upset her or do something she doesnt want them to. if that makes sense

and idk its like. i am 20 years old. im not going to go back to a 4 year old with no sense of the world outside of u because I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD. I HAVE LIVED ALONE IN SCHOOL I HAVE GONE TO THE DMV I HAVE WORKED A JOB I HAVE DEALT WITH MEDICAL EMERGENCIES ON MY OWN . i have had to make my way through every single social problem and mental health problem and shit since i was SIX bc thats when she stopped giving a shit about me. im not a child anymore

but i think its also part of why im so fucking bad at Being An Adult. bc she never taught me how do to any of this shit bc she was busy pretending im still a little kid. and now im too anxious to figure out how to do things on my own and i dont know how to ask for help and everything is very overwhelming and she tells me she wants me to get a job but doesnt help and she acts like she wants me to leave but she doesnt tell me that or help me leave and i am SO FUCKING SICK of living at home but i dont have the money or the skills to get out

and she's NEVER helped me with adult stuff either . the only thing i can think of is when she took me to the bank bc i needed her signature to take her off my bank account . otherwise my dad has been the one to help me with college applications + college stuff in general + finances + jobs etc etc . whereas my mother ACTIVELY LIES TO ME ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO TRY TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY OWN DEBIT CARD !!!!!!!!!!

and it's this fucking exhausting mix of signals where she's like "u need to get a job u need to learn to drive u need to do this and that" but also she Literally , not exageratting , treats and talks to me like i am a child . i am so fucking sick of it it's unreal . i am going to lose my fucking mind .

[gokartkid]

maxiel— lawyers au (max recently said he would be a lawyer if he wasn’t a driver lol.. idk it made me think of succession au even tho not rly related but similar vibes!!)

this ask is actually perfect because did you know my comfort show forever and for life is suits XOXOXO

max as a first-year-associate on that GRIND (put to work doing all the research that everyone else doesn't want to do) and daniel's just a bit higher up in the food chain re: he keeps coming over to max's desk to chat to him which max is at first like can u pls shut up and let me work 😭 but then daniel is yk eating his salad talking shit and he looks over maxs shoulder and says hey wait-- look. thats a major discrepancy (because when max talks as well he is listening, while he's making fun of him!)

daniel giving max tips and tricks re: yeah no dont even try talking to helmut if you see him have more than 3 coffees in the morning lol not worth it you'll get shut down. DO talk to christian if he's got his door open, and especially if he's had a meeting with toto-- he'll be so out of it he says yes to anything you ask about

max staying late because FUCK he has to get this pro bono case done and it, like, sucks, and he still doesn't know what the fuck billable hours are-- and he thinks he's all by himself until daniel rocks up with a pizza and is like. STOP. right now. you need brain food, like, yesterday. come on. ill help you out (working thru the night in the case library oooh)

daniel fucking it up in a trial and-- he's having a crisis suddenly and suddenly MAX is the one that can help HIM because "daniel of course I have been following your case you've been so stressed and look-- on page 28 there is this clause--" and they winnn!!! or whatever. im not a lawyer btw

max clearly getting on the partner track and daniel is getting. defffinitely feelings for him but they are-- also definitely discouraged from having relationships within the company let alone-- like, daniel doesn't want max to get any weird nepotism or fucking-your-way-up accusations and theres like a drunken moment where they kiss maybe, and max is suddenly like oh! oh wow i have feelings for daniel, whereas daniel is kind of at the end of this journey of "yup i definitely 100% have feelings for max. fuck. fuck fuck fuck." (also like. homophobia or whateverr they work at one of those pinkwashing rainbow tick companies but yk very "oh we have a gay employee (one)" :))

and so daniel... leaves! VERY shock news because ppl were like, oh suuurely he'll become a junior partner at some point in the next few years-- and its like, rlly shocking AND he has to not work for 3-6 months or smth because of sensitive client info and like, he has to start new at this new company (renault vibes) now and max feels like, horribly betrayed because obviously daniel didn't talk to him about it and-- why didnt he talk to him about it???

and daniel gets caught up in the move and sorting out his life and everything as well so he barely has the time to talk to max or to contact him or anything let alone like, examine his feelings now that a relationship would be POSSIBLE. anyway long story short: max feeling betrayed, daniel trying to see him again but only managing to do it in passing at like, trial overlap times they have and max is avoiding him because to HIM thats the clearest rejection you could get! (can't think thru a reconcile now but they do, and its hard, but then theyre lawyers in love or WHATEVERRR)

send me an au and ill make up some headcanons!

[artesianalpondscum]

EXHAUSTIVE POLAROID CAMERA GUIDE FOR POLAROID CAMERA NEWBIES AND THE POLAROID CURIOUS FROM SOMEONE WHO TRIALED AND ERRORED THEM SELF OUT OF NEARLY $600 TO GET A GOOD EXPIERENCE AND THINKS YOU SHOULDNT SO IM MAKING THIS OUT OF SHEER SPITE TO THE POLAROID COMMUNITY GATEKEEPERS WHO THINK YOU SHOULD

TLDR at end

ALL RIGHT FUCKING NERDS YOU WANNA BE ONE OF THOSE WEIRDOS THAT WALKS AROUND TAKING POLAROIDS IN THE 2024TH YEAR OF DIVINE ABANDONMENT BUT DONT KNOW WHERE TO START? LET ME HELP YOU NOT WASTE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS IN TRIAL AND ERROR LIKE I HAVE AND GIVE AN ACTUAL HELPFUL GUIDE AND WHAT TO EXPECT!

First the film

Polaroid film come in a few kinds main two are I-Type and 600 Film (SX-70 & 8x10 are for cameras were not discussing in this thread as those are for geeks not nerds), both are essentally the same except 600 film has the battery in the casette that older Polaroid cameras need to function and the I-type is the same size and shape casette sans the battery for new cameras and this is the most important note regarding film you want crystal clear sharp images and bright blues and greens like a phone pic but on a instant film get an instax why?

Polaroid 2024 is not Polaroid 1984

modern polaroid started out as a company called "the impossible project" in 2008 who purchased all the equipment to make polaroid film when Polaroid was shutting its door BUT because whofuckingknows why Polaroid said "nuh-uh" to selling the actual formulation of the film which died with the company so the Impossible Project just had to home brew it with what was available. as a end result Modern Polaroid film is thicker so a cartridge holds 8 shots now instead of 10, and is as sensitive and tempermental as a serial killer ferret, that is to say not at all and very. you can shoot a wall of blue in a blue museum with a blue filter over the lens and the film will still have a warm hue to it, and while direct light during the developing stage of Polaroid back in the day overdeveloped it jnto hell nowadays it can not be overdeveloped so easily in direct light as an extra 3 seconds in the winter sun or 10 seconds under a lamp can help it come out nicer but im jumping ahead.

Fujifilm Instax,

however has had their film in production since 1998 and is very capable of producing clear quality shots with very accurate color and a price per exposure half that of polaroids and cost for entry is far cheaper than Polaroid overall so pickup an instax mini/square (or wide if you're weird) camera while its smaller itll be that "phone pic but on film" clarity youre looking for

see the difference below and how Polaroid on the left cant do a pure white where the blues become purple because of the everpresent warm cast in polaroid whereas Instax on the right can do a pure white so the color is better with in my opinion a slight blue cast

NOW FOR THE REST OF US MASSOCHISTS WHO WANT TO GO POLAROID?

this is very important

Dont Buy one of the new ones off the shelf they are garbage look for slect retro to 2017 models!

what kind of retro camera to buy? do I need to summon Glasya-Labolas out of the Ars Goetia* going into thrift stores to find one? maybe, to that second question but let me show you the basic differences with the way-too many cameras I own first and show you with what to look for on ebay and in thrift shops. I paid no more than $45 for any one of these cameras and most were under $30 and to me that is a comfortable price that i would say is a good starting range

* please dont actually summon Glasya-Labolas just ask Lucifer its easier

BEHOLD MY COLLECTION

now these are 6 different cameras right? WRONG 2 of these are functionally identical, one is functionaly identical but tries poorly not to be one in theory works well so what youre looking at here is really 4 different types of camera of which 2 are actually worth purchasing.

Polaroids function by a series of plastic lenses* concentrating the picture to a mirror when the shutter opens and that mirror reflects onto the film which functionally classifies Polaroid as a Box Camera. what you need to focus on is one simple feature and that is the Focusing

*not all polaroids have a plastic lens there Is a series called the SX-70 and a 8x10 model that has glass lenses it's a reflex camera and other features for really sharp pics but thats for geeks not nerds we are nerds here

retro/vintage polaroids all (except exactly one unit) have a auto light meter that auto adjusts the esposure time to get the best brightness and worked reliably well on old film but on new film youre going to want to make use of the exposure compensation bar under the lens and bump it up at least half way (it even says to adjust the compensation by 1/3 up on the film box so this is a thing known by the company)

now FOCUSING is a whole mixed bag and focusing on old polaroids works in one of 4 ways (except the SX-70 and 8x10 cameras)

images to follow descriptions

1- FIXED FOCUS

the every day run of the mill Polaroid (and instax to greater extent) camera it has the sharpest clarity at 4 feet okayish up to 12 feet and 4 to 12 feet ONLY, this is 95% of what you will find in Polaroids as this was the most common way they were made and offers decent pics in the "tea steeped for one minute too short with almost enough tea leafs" type of decent, like sure maybe some people like it that way and alot of people who dont drink tea wouldnt be able to tell you the difference except that its weak and is "fine enough" but why would you if you have choices

how to identify - again its the vast majority of the 600 cameras youll see, if the face looks like some variation of these faces then its a fixed length

2- little plasitc filter shit "Close up lens"

this little fucking thing is the biggest lie ever made on any product, take the fixed focus camera that functions decently enough then add a psuedo magnfying glass wannabe filter you slide out in front of the lens that is supposed to give you a 2 to 4 feet of focus length, it doesnt, it adds a weird halo around the edges and over concentrates light onto the film bleaching out what little cool tone colors you have while adding a warped bluring to what little detail you can make out. these are somewhat common for all of the newer ones (post 1997 to closure in 2008 except the spectra and "one" which dont buy either as its not supported and lacks stuff again getting ahead of myself) as Polaroid just ended up throwing them on by default for the sake of a feature

how to identify - it has a little slider on it that shows two different focal lengths to the left of the lens

to see what i mean about destroying your photos with this camera style, that ring around the edge is the edge of the lens cover that covers your lens and in that focus area it overmagnified the available light and burnt the film

3- Sonar Autofocus

Sonar Autofocusing uses a Sound wave that humans cant hear that in nanoseconds chirps out and then guages how quick it takes for that sound to reach back to the camera and then selects one of 5 zones of focused lenses closet being shapest at 3 feet but can still pull some ok detail at 2, based on that, these can produce really sharp pics so long as

a- you're not in a room with horrifyingly loud muic

b- a room competing to be an anechoic chamber

c- not trying to shoot through a window*

these are kina iffy to find but not impossible

how to identify - it has a big-ol gold disc on the face of it cant miss it

*some models let you bypass the AF to focus on the default 4 to 12 feet focus length while allowing for the flash bypass trigger † to be used for shooting through windows or in situations where the sonar might not work for your photo

† not all models

4- IR autofocus

uses an IR beam in the flash to send a "wink" to a reciever under the viewfinder to choose one of 2 focusd lenses (think the "close up lens" but automatic and inside in the camera) the af cant be turned off nor can you bypass the flash on all models as the mechanism needs the flash bar to focus, it still cant shoot through windows since it needs flash and has three less focus ranges, and like all IR based AF on any camera it can misread very easily

somewhat hardish to find since these were made starting in 1997 and Polaroid went down hill quickly after the advent of affordable digital cameras (The last model ever made Polaroid one has an IR sensor and so do some spectras but as stated previously dont bother with them)

After digital cameras and the digital revolution in the late 90s/ early 2000s people no longer needed a polaroid camera to send pics for insurance claims or to take nudes without having to worry about a developing studio seeing them, Oh yeah outside of professional settings polaroids were mostly used to share nudes as before them you could ask your local film studio who had the biggest dick in town and get a factual answer, if you diddnt know that well now you do, so post 97 models id stay away from even though some of them are cool and futiger aero designed like the Polaroid One 600, which is the last model ever made by Polaroid before closing and selling all there stuff (except the film formulation) to The Impossible Project but due to all the cost cutting that was being done its not worth it looking for one for anything other than a collectable because its missing the most important factor needed for impossible film the exposure compensation meter despite having an improved IR AF over the 97 model

below pic left to right is a mid 90s polaroid and the last model Polaroid 600 One

What was that I said about something called the "spectra" earlier?

yes the spectra would have been the polaroid to get however the impossible project gave up on it due to spectras uniqueness and the issues that came along with it. see the spectra 1200 film was a touch wider than the regular 600 film and its rollers were very very much made for the old polaroid film that impossible's film no matter how they pinched and squeezed and forced angles and coated what have you they simply brokedown and jammed irreversibly alot so fun to collect but its truely a RIP but for me ill still pick one up one day as a show piece

GREAT SO WHAT DO YOU BUY OUT OF THESE IF I WANT TO HAVE A POLAROID EXPIERENCE ILL LOVE OR ENJOYABLY TOLERATE

answer

the ones with the Sonar auto focus

ideally modles (readable on face above where the pictures come out) Sun 660 AF, Supercolor 670 AF or, Impluse AF

Best will be the Sun 660 AFs or supercolor 670 AFs overall as they have the option to shut off the flash (by pulling the trigger behind the shutter button) and have the sonar focus overrided with a button on the lid (hold it as your taking your photo)

HOWEVER while the Impulse AF might not allow you to turn off the flash or sonar foucs it its one of the few vintage models that have a built in 10 second timer that you can still get film for, and a signifgantly better view finder

all in a slightly sleeker ever so distinctive late 80s early 90s consumer electronics vibe that no retro revival has ever been able to replicate so if that is worth the compromise get one of those (or both its nice to have options but you do not need a 660 and a 670 thats redundant) definately a solid option as well

WHY IS ONE SUN ONE SUPER COLOR SOME ARE LIGHTMIXERS SOME SAY SE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

marketing terms no functional difference otherwise.

so how big a difference does the Sonar AF make well quite a serious difference

WAIT IM AN ASPIRING GEEK NOW WHATS THE SX-70 PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW!

ugh okay

The SX-70 (this also applies to the 600 film equivalant 680) with sonar AF is arguably the best of the vintage polaroids but any SX-70s is great, glass lenses with manual focus control or on later models sonar focus, you look out the same lens thats taking the pic so you dont have to compensate at all when framing your pic like on a regular Polaroids and worst of all its the camera of choice for the "UUh Acktually" enthusiasts that gatekeep a good expierance with Polaroids away from people who just want to have a decent time without making it their personality so you know what that means!!! yep these are are so gloated and prized about these are the only style vintage polaroids that arent limited edition that frequently go well above the price of the brand new Polaroids no matter how shit the condition sometimes even tripple due to scalping thus these are expensive as all hell, awkward to hold and a pain in the ass to get meanwhile these things need to be modded to accept some modern films specialty flash packs with extra batteries and a bunch of other random little things that make it annoying to use that ill bother to learn about if i see one for under $50 and feel like buying it that day.

SWEET I GOT MY SONAR AUTOFOCUS 660/670/IMPULSE POLAROID HOW DO I GET A GOOD SHOT WITH IT

like i said at the start of this modern Polaroid film is tempermental and despite how much they tell you its light sensitive its not sensitve enough! when i said way back that there is a light meter in them, there is and there is an accompanying slide bar that makes it expose the film longer or shorter in addition to the automatic light meter

when you take a photo using the default exposure "slider in the middle" you will get a underexposed film as an end result see below

this was taken on my Sun 660 AF SE and while i got super sharp detail that made my eyes cry when i first saw it because up to this time ive only dealt with fix focused cameras. it was WAY dark so i moved the exposure compensation up a few times to

There and and the end result was

DETAIL, COLOR, EVERHING YOU COULD WANT IN A MODERN DAY POLAROID PIC and better yet entirely repeatable.

(note other pics i trialed and errored had just as good results with the adjuster sitting at the base of the arrow but not as wow as this)

IF ITS COLD/ HOT OUTSIDE DOES THAT AFFECT THE FILM

yes too cold film or too hot film will make the phots come out a pale blue if its cold or a pale magenta if its hot (which is very meta) while some people take advantage of this to make monocromatic film in an artsy way you might not want to so keep that in mind you need to keep the film in a comfortable temprature zone of

55 – 82° Freedom units

13 – 28° Complementary Healthcare units

getting a bag that has a insulated space for a cold pack can help in the heat but if its cold out you can do the same as above but with a hot pack OR when you take the photo as soon as the fiolm is finshed being ejected out take it out and put it right into your pocket or in your coat under your arm to warm it up during the development stage. really old Polaroid cameras used to come with a "cold clip" for this exact use

CAN I USE ONE FILM CASETTE FOR MORE THAN ONE CAMERA ONCE ITS BEEN PUT IN A CAMERA THIS SHITS KINDA EXPENSIVE

absolutely... not without damaging the top two sheets of film (thus 1/4 or .25% of the casette a total loss), just accept that once the film is installed its committed to that camera dont worry for the intrusive thougts I have examples of what happens the pic on the right was the exposure at the top of the casette and the left was the one after it. i swapped the casette in a fairly dark car at night and what you see on the left is a sonar auto focus camera trying to take a pic of some street lights through a window on damaged film.

ARE THERE ANY THINGS I MUST CONSIDER THAT I WOULDNT THINK ABOUT OVERTLY OTHERWISE

Yes just like being a fan of Taylor Swift there is a underlying level of ecological damage that you might be doing but is realistically negligable when compared to the environmental damage unregulated and underegulated industries produce and when compared to general overconsumption waste things like fast fashion and water bottle trends produce (and is 100% lead free).

Polaroid 600 and SX film Cassettes that Polaroid film is stored in are made of 3 main pieces, the plastic shell, metal spring piece (both parts of which can be recycled) and a lithium ion battery that is used to operate the camera, now there is a way to recycle them that involves breaking out the plastic front and seperating out the metal piece to put into the recycle and taking the battery to recycle at a place that recycles lith-ion batteries, however if you do not have such facilities available to you unfortunately it kinda becomes a chuck it in the trash thing. but keep in mind your maybe half a dozen or so film cartridges or cartridge batteries that wind up in the trash over a year or so arent going to add in any meaningful or impactful way to the the cause of global climate change or detonate thermonuclear bombs of battery acid onto baby seaturtles or anything like that even when millions of people are doing it too. so its entirely up to you to your own concious and/or ability to recycle them

HOWEVER if you want a battery free casette option so you can recycle more easily you can get one of the 2017 Polaroid OneStep 2 or One Step 2+ Cameras that use a built in rechargeable battery and you can get the I-Type film that does not have a battery in the casette keep in mind these cameras are discontinued and as a result of being one of the only good post-polaroid closure instant cameras under the Polaroid name they are being scalped online as far as prices go

I HOPE YOU FOUND THIS INFOGUIDE HELPFUL AND THANK YOU FOR READING

THE TLDR

new polaroid film wil alway be warm hued and unexposed and as for polaroid cameras available in stores new ones suck, most of the retro are meh ,to expensive for no reason. Buy a polaroid sun 660 af or supercolor 670 af but if you dont want to be able to shoot without flash or shoot through glass by turning off the auto focus and would like a 10 second timer instead get a the Impulse AF and slam up the exposure to very nearly all the way up to where the adjuster is on the arrow's middle or lower half if you want a model that has a rechargeable battery instead of a battery in the film casette to reduce e-waste and make it easier to recycle get a 2017 Polaroid Originals One Step2 or One Step2 + to use the battery free I-type film

[nahalism]

What do you thnkk would be the healthy and mature way of dealing with those emotions when it comes to us, humans?

Theres another thing i wanna ask. Do you believe there are ppl who feel those negative emotions or maybe all ❔ emotions more intensely which results in them handling it worse or could it b that the fundamental emotion is similar in all of us but it’s the ways we conduct ourselves while the feeling arises that matters and shows more? As an example we have two people who get extremely angry but one has less self control/insert other quality which makes them lash out in rage while the other doesn’t? The one is explodes/implodes might argue that they feel things more intensely but it’s so hard to measure isnt it? Who is to say they feel more intensely rather than… act more intensely when they feel said emotion

rambleramble i hope dis makes sense

i think the healthy way to deal with things is to learn about emotional regulation and to gauge the way you find best helps you regulate. some people can address issues immediately whereas others need time to process. some people need to workout or expel excess energy, some people need to meditate, some need to journal or write it out to gain perspective, others (despite the work they do to regulate themselves) are trying to find resolution with unregulated individuals which itself can be a huge trigger so in that case maybe doing some work on staying detachment and learning in your own orbit rather than getting sucked into other peoples realities and perceptions of reality is beneficial. idk. it really is subjective and situational so i cant sit here and give a prescriptive answers cause life is more nuanced than good v bad/right v wrong

i think that there are people who are more sensitive to others but that doesn't necessarily mean they feel more than others. heightened awareness, preexposure to trauma and life experience all shape a person, their perception and their reaction to things. (im sure u know this). so its fair to say no two people are the same, and as such peoples tolerance for pain or discomfort is also not the same. some people are always in pain and so are so numb to it they seem high functioning. just because theyre not as reactive doesnt mean they dont suffer. on top of that one person may find the prospect of abandonment petrifying whilst another wouldnt even recognise the interaction as abandonment, theyd see it as simply separating paths. all of that is based on conditioning, preexposure, and the families/societies/countries were born into

idk these questions require a essay to answer lol theres too much to weigh up. im curious tho, what makes u ask these qs

sending love hope ur well

[emet-selch-apologism]

Morose/Pelle: 2, 5, 17, 28

Void: 3, 8, 20, 31, 37

Nu/Vil: 1, 14, 26, 34, 38

dnd ask meme

i got up out of bed to answer this on my pc so dedicated am i to talking about my most special boys

going under read more because its gonna be long <3 ALSO adding images of everyone to hopefully make it easier to tell whos who

Morose/Pelle

left: pelle right: morose

2. What does saving a person involve?

morose and pelle are of one mind on this, that they cant really "save" a person unless they want to be saved. so their strategy would be less about them swooping in to save the day and more about being there to help the save-ee get out of a bad situation. this is MUCH more pelles purview than moroses though, hes more of a "provide resources and encouragement without being asked" kind of guy whereas morose is more of a "im not gonna push you but im here if you want to talk about it" kind of guy.

5. What is your PC’s idle animation?

for morose itd probably be him taking out his grimoire and taking notes in it. its a grimoire first and foremost, but he also uses the margins as a scientific journal if he doesnt have one of his dedicated notebooks on hand

pelle would keep it simple, probably just doing some small turns so his sleeves swish around. or probably any other gentle motion, like rocking or swaying

(the sleeves ^)

17. What are your PCs favorite fruits (not including gay people)

each other

morose likes apples. probably has something to do with how long he was a teacher for, his students DEFO would occasionally give him apples before or after class

pelle cant pick a favorite, hes so jazzed about all of the food that mortals produce and eat and cook. he loves all food

28. When your PCs want comfort, what do they seek out? 

each other

other than each other though

for morose, hed try to involve himself in his hobbies. this literally always means doing research and science and alchemy. hes been autistic about the arcane sciences for 200+ years and hes not gonna stop now

for pelle, who is very well adjusted, it usually means doing one of the hundreds of mortal hobbies he picked up in his retirement, or taking a walk and appreciating the worlds beauty, or talking to one of the zombie kids he takes care of, or meditating

generally speaking though when they need comfort both of them immediately turn to the other

Void

3. How would your PC describe themselves?

void is pretty difficult to get the gist of because their setting is so specific, but i will try my best

i dont think void knows how to describe themself. they basically just manifested into existence with full sapience and no identity. their entire character arc revolves around them trying to figure out who they are, wanting to be a person but convinced that they have no choice to be oasis (the dead god theyre the reincarnation of).

they dont even know that theyre a god yet.

since they have no sense of identity as a person, i dont think theyd try to describe themselves like one. theyd probably describe themselves as "the tear" (a rift in the sky between the material plane and a mysterious higher plane that no one has ever gone to, which is believed to be the source of all the Big Problems in the setting) or "the neverplane" (said Problem Plane). they might call themselves an etherbeing (a creature formed from the ether in the neverplane which consumes the ether of mortals on the material plane), but that wouldnt be totally accurate.

8. How decisive is your PC?

EXTREMELY indecisive. despite thinking its futile void wants nothing more than to fight their nature and just be a normal person, so any decision they have to make has to go through both their God Thoughts and then their Normal Person Thoughts. and, more often than not, these two sides are at odds with each other making it hard to decide pretty much anything. theyll freeze up if they think too long about any decision they have to make

20. What type of chocolate do they prefer? 

theyve never tried eating food before. i dont think they could even if they wanted to. but if they could i think theyd like white chocolate best

31. What’s your favorite part of playing your PC? 

I GET TO BE SOOO AUTISTIC. void is so autistic and i get to completely unmask and call it rp

actually though my favorite part of playing void isnt even rping as them at the table, its planning for future sessions and getting to go so deep into their psychology. the way ive set up godhood in the setting inherently poses a LOT of existential questions about the gods, and void is even more complicated because they want to fight against their godhood. theyre a lot of fun to explore mentally

37. What flower represents your PC?

so funny you ask this one for them because void is the only character of these five that has an actual in game lore related flower motif! glowing white dahlias! they spring up in significant places void has been to, they bloom out of the dust left behind by dead etherbeings, they can create them at will, etc.

Nuvia/Vilereth

(nuvia controls the left side, vilereth controls the right)

1. Does your PC believe it’s possible to save someone?

vilereth does. hes not usually inclined to do so (the only people hes tried to save is nuvia and nuvias sister elizabeth) but he thinks its possible to. he also probably thinks its a lot easier than it actually is. hes incredibly overconfident in his own abilities

nuvia is more of a tossup. i think usually he doesnt think its possible to save people (if he could have been saved then why didnt anyone save him from the cult who put a demon in his body). but if pushed hes still willing to try. but the list of people hed be willing to risk himself to save is very very short

14. How does your PC feel about white lies?

vilereth is lying all the time its his favorite thing to do. he loves to tell lies. he doesnt even do it maliciously (for the most part) he just thinks its funny. but he loves it he loooves lying

nuvia also doesnt care about lying. he doesnt go out of his way to do it the way vilereth does, but hes a very smooth liar (lots of practice) and he thinks that sometimes its just what has to be done so who cares? hes probably even a better liar than vilereth

26. How would your PC answer the trolley problem? 

neither of them would flip the switch.

vilereth wouldnt see it as his problem. he wouldnt really care and he wouldnt see himself as involved in the situation unless he flips the switch, and hed rather not get involved if he can help it.

nuvia has a similar outlook. hed at least be tempted to flip the switch so only one person gets killed, but ultimately agrees that hes not involved unless he does. if he did hed see himself as responsible for one persons death, and he already has more than enough stress to deal with.

34. Is your PC an effective communicator? What is their communication style? 

oh god no.

vilereth is always lying and making jokes to keep people at a safe distance. hes so averse to being vulnerable that he didnt even have a non antagonistic conversation with nuvia for 5 months after they were fused. even now that they get along (theyre gay btw) trying to get him to be open and honest is like pulling teeth

nuvia is also Not Good at communication. hes less afraid of vulnerability than vilereth is, but hes so completely conflict averse its insane. hed rather bottle up everything until he dies than have a slightly uncomfortable conversation even once.

38. How did you choose your PC’s name? 

they were initially just one guy who i named vilereth from a yafnag pull. then when i made them two people i did another yafnag pull and got nuvia

[soliddaddy96]

talk to me about what pers thinks about gunner or the effect gunner has on him

HII so sorry went chatterbox mode . uno momento

i think in the beginning pers was a leetol hostile towards gunner. out of apprehension and also not being able to comprehend why gunner would go out of his way to help a person like pers/having nothing to gain from it (i think abt rp ....). this, however, leads to him finally starting to see the good in people . 2 me < if not seeing goodness in himself, he sees it in others !! sees it in gunner seeking out help for him despite bleeding nd Maimed himself ! pers almost immediately grows fond of him after this revelation, coupled with the fact that despite seeing him in his most vulnerable moment gunner didnt actively try to hurt him (most he did was like, piss him off briefly) . in the future i think hed b practically Attached to gunner . out of love nd also not knowing what he is Without him. he also doesnt question things gunner asks him to do cos he trusts his judgement Immensely as a leader nd as a friend (gay pride flag). and also uhh . ex agent urge 2 follow orders nd what not. additionally i dont think he enjoys being open 2 gunner ill be real . views his experiences as deserved and fears if he speaks about them itll be confirmed < deathly afraid of gunner agreeing with him/saying he did in fact need to be tormented and was out of line for fighting back. i think hed only share tid bits of it w him tbh

HELP this man is so affected . i think he feels weak whenever hes around gunner, tbh . how despite going through the Horrors gunner still holds himself as a proud and accomplished person (in pers' eyes), whereas he gets nervous whenever he hears a door shut. i think hes most prone to act tough around gunner than anyone else in the gang- his attempts at trying to make up the fact that hes factually useless. hes eternally grateful that gunner feels safe being vulnerable around him < makes him feel that despite being weak theres at least One person that trusts him enough to do so . i think hed try to get better for gunner, not out of like . "oh i love you so much you inspire me to get well ^_^" but instead a "im going to try and be someone you deserve. im sorry im the one you love" type way

ALSOO extra thoguht so sorry but i remember you sending that 1 post thats compared them 2 hit song i bet on losing dogs by mitski and i become ILLLLLL OH MY WORDD . cos ok. theres two perspectives on it and the first one fits so well 4 pers nd his whole mindset

so the first interpretation of losing dogs is that its a toxic relationship in which the narrator knows is truly Over they still find themselves flocking back to it !! they know they cannot win/cant have a happy ending but still believe in their partner/the losing dog. which fits pers soooo much bc he views the gangs/gunners attempts at helping him (2 me i think theyd b understanding of how he has little capability of violence left within him < teef nd claws . which were key parts of his fighting as well as him being unable to hold a gun properly anymore, which in his mind renders him as a useless, worn down weapon in desperate need of termination) as them pouring time and valuable resources into a hopeless cause, aka HIM !!!

the second interpretation is that the dog, being a person you love deeply, is fighting a conflict (either a physical or mental one) that you see them succumbing to but cannot interfere with. and in spite of how dire it looks for them you cant help but long for them to and bet on them Winning. and when they (inevitably) lose, you lose along side them!! you process the same pain they do as well. nd when youre asked why you bet on them despite them constantly losing, you answer you bet on losing dogs because YOU need the things you give them. you need someone to look at you and give you unconditional love and benefit of the doubt. you need someone with unwavering and unshakable faith in you and your ability to succeed despite the fact you seemingly almost always lose. and when you DO fail, they wont abandon you, and will remain by your side as you writhe in pain even though youve caused them hardship. you bet on the losing dog because youre seeking a promise in it- the promise that theyll be by your side even when you fail in the same way. even when youre the losing dog . this is persgunner coded 2 me

also umm. sily doodle