artesianalpondscum

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It's my 11 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

This is my second Tumblr cause my first one became a dumpster fire beyond dumpster fires

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Felt very seen at the nursery the other day

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trump dies of congestive heart failure before being sworn in charge to like cast to reblog

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WHY ARE YOU DROWNING THEM WHAT SOCIOPATH INVENTED THIS

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I aspire to be as happy as Robert Pattinson hanging out with a cow

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i love you ibuprofen, i love you naproxen. i love you nose spray & cough drops. i love you snacks between meals. i love you naptime & sleeping in & taking a sick day when the body needs rest. i love the avoidance of unnecessary discomfort in its many shapes and forms!

what an act of unspeakable tenderness, to treat your body as a beloved animal and not a machine to grind to the ground

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The thing is, when museums and cultural institutions or researchers adopt memes in a "How do you do, fellow kids" way, that's adorable like my grandma when she's misusing emojis. However when some megacorp does it to sell me evil products or some influencer is trying to get me to buy nonsense skincare mud or cyberpunk looking face masks or weightloss pills, I think that's evil incarnate and their name goes into the Death Note (very mindful, very demure)

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Home depot life sized Reindeer .5 Nose cam you're welcome internet

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when chappell roan quits music and disappears from the public eye or worse, and there’s a huge conversation online about We Should Have Treated Her Better, i just want y’all to know that i will not be tolerating anybody’s delayed remorse and i will be very mean to everybody who played even the most minuscule, passing role in bullying that girl

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i havent been on my computer in a week what do i used this for again

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Every time a Barnes and Nobel updates one of their stores, Zeus chucks another bird at Prometheus.

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betrayed by his own meat…

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we did it tumblr