#whereas back then he was more of a people pleaser

[pitconfirm]

alex x max

thoughts & opinions?

in a 2020 context… absolutely delicious. the do I want to be you or do I want to fuck you of it all (spoiler: the answer is both). max dominating alex on track and alex dominating him in the bedroom. the frustration is unspoken but it’s so incredibly loud. and they fuck nasty about it.

[teenytinyjimin]

seventh heaven (k. taehyung & p. jimin)

minors dni. DO NOT INTERACT!

summary: in which taehyung and reader just want to have a little fun with their baby jimin

pairing: taehyung x reader x jimin

word count: 3.5k words

tags: smut, threesome (m/m/f), praise, dom!taehyung, switch!reader, sub!jimin, breeding kink sorta?, edging sorta?, hickeys, fellatio, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, feminine!jimin (let him be a lil girly if he wants), taehyung being good at aftercare, also a lot of consent, consent is important yall

warnings: …smut. no other warnings. i’m not a huge degradation/danger/trauma girlie so no need to worry about that

author’s note: thank u guys sm for the support recently i rly appreciate it <3 also i’m not a huge smut writer but i’m trying to work on writing more of it so pls be gentle with me, this is the first official smut work i’ve literally ever completed (i usually always stop midway through lol)

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Your relationship with Taehyung was nothing short of a dream from the moment it began.

When it came to you and him, everything was perfect. Sure, you had your typical couple arguments every once in a while, but that's what makes a relationship perfectly imperfect. You still go on dates like you did when you first started seeing each other, the flame is still very much alive, and you've built a lot of trust and communication.

So much so that you guys had agreed to open up the relationship not too long ago. Not in the sense that you guys have the freedom to see other people individually (you guys are entirely devoted to one another anyway), but in the sense that if the opportunity to spend the night with a third person arises, you'll both be open for it. You personally found it rather exciting, whereas Taehyung enjoyed seeing your enjoyment. That isn't to say he didn't enjoy it as well, but his priority is, and always will be, your happiness.

Unbeknownst to you, however, Taehyung had a secret weapon. One that he was admittedly a little nervous to use, but knew he had it in his back pocket if he ever wanted it. And that weapon was Park Jimin. His best friend since forever and the boy who secretly had a little crush on you.

It's not like Jimin straight-up told Taehyung that he was crazy for his girlfriend. He wouldn't do something like that knowing it could possibly jeopardize the relationship in question. But Taehyung knew by the way he acted around you and looked at you versus how he acted when you weren't around.

Jimin was a natural flirt, there was no question about that. Just because he loved flirting didn't mean that he wanted to get with someone though. And the one person he seems to never be able to flirt with, the one person he did want to get with, is you. He gets way too shy at the sight of you and he almost feels intimidated by your presence. Everyone has their weaknesses, and his seemed to be you.

The only reason Taehyung hasn't played his Jimin card yet is because he's concerned about their friendship. He doesn't really mind the idea of a threesome with his friend, it's just the fear that it'll change their friendship for the worse instead of for the better. He doesn't want to go through with something like this only for the relationship between them to crumble. We're talking about a friendship that has lasted for years and that has never even come close to dangerous waters. But whether he liked to admit it or not, Taehyung was a people pleaser, and something in the pit of his stomach really urged him to just go for it and see what happens.

And so he decided to go for it. Slowly and with caution, though. If at any time either of you decided to jump ship, he wasn't going to force it. All he wanted to do was see what would happen if you were posed with the opportunity.

So now, here you sat, the three of you cuddled up on your living room couch, a movie playing on the television. Platonic intimacy wasn't abnormal for you guys when it came to Jimin – he tended to be a touchy person around the people he cares about and it has nothing to do with romance or sex. You currently had your head in his lap and he had an arm draped around you, with his own head resting on Taehyung's shoulder. At the moment he seemed completely calm and collected, however neither you nor your boyfriend knew that his heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, simply because of you.

“Mm,” you suddenly hummed after an eternity of silence, causing Jimin’s eyes to nearly pop out of their sockets. Having your head close to such valuable parts was one thing, but to make noise that caused the whole area to vibrate was something otherworldly. With all of his might, the poor boy was trying to ignore what just happened for the sake of you not realizing that there was currently a growing hardness under your head. Biting his lip and gently pinching his arm, he attempted to focus on the movie on the television as a way to distract himself from the situation.

Alas, you didn’t shut up to his dismay. However, you did move, which was nothing short of a miracle to him. You lifted your head up from your lap to look over at your boyfriend, a pout on your face. “Love, this is boring,” you whined. Being laid down with your head craned upwards wasn’t necessarily the most comfortable thing in the world so you took a hand and rested it on Jimin’s thigh so that you were propped up with a little bit of support. While your hand held a little bit of weight to it considering the fact that it was helping you stay up, the fact that you once again were extremely close to his crotch nearly sent him to an early grave. His breath hitched ever so slightly and he closed his eyes, trying to shut out everything around him.

“Sorry, Angel,” Taehyung crossed his arms and frowned. “Couldn’t find anything else that was good.” While he looked as if he was entirely focused on you and your upset, he was well aware of the pain you were causing his friend. If his weird behaviors weren’t enough to convince him that he was struggling underneath you, Taehyung’s prior knowledge of Jimin’s attractive definitely was. Just your existence alone was enough to cause the man to be absolutely weak in the knees.

“Pfft,” You rolled your eyes, flopping your head back into Jimin’s lap. “You’re lame for that, Tae. Jimin wouldn’t treat me like that. He’d find something better to watch or do,” You looked up at the boy, who was doing everything he could to avoid eye contact. “Isn’t that right Minnie?”

Heart stopping at the sound of you speaking to him, Jimin shrugged and squeaked out a quick ‘yeah’, not wanting to further the conversation. Had he not known any better, he would’ve thought you were flirting with him and trying to suggest something. But you were in a relationship, that wasn’t possible.

“Well, don’t let me stop you then,” Taehyung looked at both you and Jimin with a smirk on his face as if he were challenging you with your own words. If he knew one thing about you, it was that you didn’t like being challenged and you would prove him wrong in any way possible in an attempt to piss him off. But you knew exactly where he was going with this. He wanted you to prove him wrong for his enjoyment as well as your own.

Reaching one of your arms upward, you gently wrapped your hand around the back of Jimin’s head and guided it down toward yours. When his face was only a few inches from your own you stopped to admire his features. He was a beautiful human, there was no doubt about it, but you never really got the chance to admire him so closely until now. His eyes, though wide with shock, were glimmering and you could almost see little hearts floating around in them. His lips, so big and plump, were the most kissable shade of pink. His skin, so soft and supple, gleamed in the low light of the living room.

Moving your hand to his cheek, you took your thumb and swiped it across his bottom lip gently and slowly. At this point his eyes were no longer wide in shock, but instead relaxed and shy. He looked at you through his eyelashes and if you were honest, you weren’t entirely sure what was going through his head. He was so difficult to read sometimes.

“Are you okay with this?” You whispered gently, keeping eye contact with him. The second he said ‘no’ you were ready to push yourself off of him and respect his boundaries, but you were just as ready to dive head-first into passion if he said ‘yes’. You watched as his eyes went from calm and collected to lusty and pleading, his lips parting slightly. “Yes, please, yes,” He whispered, his tone nearly resembling a whimper. As if his response was music to your ears, you let out a pleased hum as you closed the gap between you and locked your lips with his.

The kiss you shared with Jimin was an experience you had never felt before. Your kisses with Taehyung were otherworldly, incredible, perfect for lack of a better word. But this experience with Jimin was completely new. He was an incredibly soft kisser, his lips moving in perfect harmony with yours, and despite not being able to speak to you he was able to communicate exactly what he wanted and needed just through his kissing. He was needy while still being respectful, and hungry while still being reserved. Yet he matched your energy perfectly with no interest in heating things up unless you initiated it.

As you continued to kiss Jimin for what seemed like eons, you felt a familiar pair of hands slowly make their way from your thighs up to the hem of your pants. Taehyung's touch alone was enough to make you absolutely melt, your arousal going from high to insane within a matter of seconds. There was something about feeling his strong, warm hands trace the hem of your pants before gently unbuttoning them and pulling them down past your knees and then completely off. You let out a soft moan into Jimin's mouth as you felt Taehyung's lips make contact with your inner thighs, kissing them gently and lovingly.

"Mm," Taehyung hummed as he placed one final kiss on your upper thigh, a mere inch away from your throbbing heat. "Looks like my baby's ready for your touch, Minnie," He continued, swiping a thumb down your wet underwear. The feeling of his finger running down your most sensitive area sent a chill down your spine as you squirmed toward him, whining for more of him. Jimin broke the kiss as he looked over at Taehyung with lidded eyes. You could tell by his facial expression that he was in absolute heaven right now. After all, he was getting everything he wanted and more. "C'mere," Taehyung cooed, beckoning Jimin to switch places with him. Happy to oblige, the two swapped spots.

Uninterested in keeping you waiting, Taehyung attached his lips to yours. You were slightly taken aback by the change in pace considering your boyfriend was much more confident and aggressive about what he wanted, but once you were able to match his energy you were able to enjoy the fireworks you always felt when you were kissing him. After a moment of kissing, he pulled away from you so that he could start discarding some of his clothing before helping you pull your shirt over your head.

Jimin, who was now at your thighs, mirrored Taehyung's earlier actions and began peppering your thighs with kisses. As he trailed up from your knees to the hem of your underwear, he used gentle fingers to latch onto the waistband before looking up at you. "I-Is this okay?" He asked softly and shyly, wanting to make sure that he was allowed to go further and that this wasn't just some trick. Letting out a soft hum you ran a hand through his hair and pet his head. "Of course baby, go ahead and have what you want."

Once given the okay, the man didn't stop himself from quickly discarding your underwear and bringing a finger to circle your clit. Letting out a gasp of air, you threw your head back, trying to stop yourself from letting out perhaps the loudest moan you would have ever produced. Soon enough Taehyung's lips found their way back to yours as you continued to make out. You brought a hand down to his hip before slipping your hand down his boxers and feeling your way to his erection. Your boyfriend let out a gentle grunt into your mouth at your touch, his brain foggy with bliss.

As you continued to move your hand along Taehyung's dick, you felt a gentle finger slip into your entrance, and then a second. You let out a soft moan and instinctually pushed yourself down onto Jimin's fingers which began slowly moving in and out of you. They were different from Taehyung's, much smaller, but were able to get the job done very well. When his fingers were as deep as they could possibly go, he curled them, hitting all the right spots in all the right ways.

"Mmh," You whimpered into Taehyung's mouth as you felt your partner smile against your lips before pulling away. He went to go take his boxers off so that his dick could be free for you to do whatever you please to, but you beat him to the punch and immediately attached both hands to the waistband and yanked them down. With a smirk on his face, Taehyung leaned down to give you one more gentle kiss before taking his hand and giving his cock a couple of pumps. "Someone's a little impatient," he hummed, causing you to whimper once again.

As soon as he got close enough to you, you took your boyfriend's dick into one hand and ran your tongue along the tip, eliciting an impulsive moan of pleasure to come out of his mouth. You gave the tip just a couple more licks before beginning to take his length into your mouth. Just as you were doing so, however, you felt a new presence at your core. Not only was Jimin continuing to finger you, but he now attached his mouth to your clit, giving it the gentlest of kitten licks as a way to playfully tease at it. You let out an ecstatic moan which caused your entire mouth to vibrate and caused Taehyung to throw his head back in pleasure.

"You're doing... so good... baby... so good," Taehyung breathed out as he began to slowly thrust in and out of your mouth, bringing his hand to cup one of your breasts. As he moved in and out you continued to swirl your tongue around as best as you could, letting out the occasional moan when Jimin hit your clit in just the right way with his tongue. As he continued to double-stimulate you with both his tongue and his fingers, you brought a hand down to grab at his hair. He let out a soft moan in surprise, not expecting you to grab for him, which caused an even greater rush of pleasure to your clit. He let out a couple more moans and hums, knowing it was helping get you along, until you were seeing stars behind your eyelids and your orgasm came to you not just like a wave, but like a full-blown tsunami.

With your mouth still preoccupied with Taehyung, you attemped to look out of the corner of your eye to see Jimin come up for air. From what you could tell, he looked as beautiful as always, though with tousled hair and a face sheen from your wetness. You watched as, with pleading eyes, he looked up at your boyfriend "Please let me fuck her, Tae."

Taehyung, who was far too busy riding his own high, was snapped back to reality when he heard his friend beg. He pulled his dick from your mouth momentarily, somewhat edging himself, to reach over and swipe a hand over Jimin's sweat-beaded forehead before giving him a nod. "Be gentle with her, Minnie. Don't wanna hurt my angel now, do we?" The older boy gave an eager nod as he began stripping himself of his clothes. You admired his toned figure for a moment before Taehyung guided your chin with your hand to face him. You looked up at him, his hair ever-so-slightly damp with sweat, as reached down and gave you a tender kiss. "You look so beautiful, darling... so perfect," He mumbled, kissing you again before trailing down your jawline and neck. After every couple of kisses he would bite down and suck, leaving prominent hickeys all over the upper half of your body.

Completely forgetting about anything else for a moment, you get caught up in the pleasure of your boyfriend marking you and gasp at the feeling of the tip of Jimin's cock rubbing against your entrance. You feel it twitch slightly at the contact as you already hear a soft moan escape the boy's lips. Before you could even think about anything else he bucks his hips forward as he pushes himself into you, letting out a low whimper until he bottoms out. You throw your head back in pleasure, arching your back and gripping the couch below you. Taehyung comes up from kissing and marking you to look at your face, admiring the pleasure that was coursing through your features. He took a hand and caressed your cheek, murmuring sweet nothings to you while both you and Jimin adjusted to the contact.

Once Jimin was used to feeling you around him he began to slowly thrust in and out of you, going as deep as possible each time he thrusted back in. He was hitting all of the right places and it was driving you absolutely wild, causing you to let out uncontrolled moans each time he reached your g-spot. In an attempt to take advantage of your moans and to chase his own pleasure again, Taehyung returned his dick to your mouth, letting the tip touch the back of your throat so that it would get the most intense vibrations whenever you let out a sound.

At this point, the three of you were going crazy. All that could be heard throughout the house was a chorus of moans, whimpers, and grunts as the two boys thrust in and out of you and you consumed yourself with the pleasure that you were feeling. As Jimin's moans became more breathy and needy, they began to become straight up whines. "I'm..." He panted, unable to form a complete sentence as he began to ride his high. Taehyung, aware of what was happening, stopped momentarily. "On her stomach, Jimin," He snapped. He wasn't going to let his friend cum inside of you even if that meant grabbing him and pulling him out of you himself.

Fortunately able to respect Taehyung's wishes, Jimin pulled out just in time, his dick twitching as ropes of white coated your stomach. He pumped his cock with his hand a couple of times to make sure he got all of the cum out, but after doing so completely collapsed onto the couch, eyes glossed over as he was caught in a daze of euphoria. Your boyfriend pulled his own cock out of your mouth as he grabbed you and gently turned you so that he was able to enter your cunt himself, thrusting in and out of you with sporadic passion and energy.

As he continued Jimin's job of hitting your g-spot, he brought a hand to your clit and rubbed his thumb over it, causing you to twitch under his touch. You let out uncontrolled moans as Taehyung's own moans started to turn into whimpers as he got closer. You began to tighten around him as you rode your own orgasm and he released inside of you shortly after, painting your walls white. As he let every last drop of his cum enter you he continued to thrust sloppily, ensuring his seed was staying inside. Once it got overstimulating, however, he pulled out and flopped down onto the couch between you and Jimin.

"You did so well," Taehyung cooed, pulling you close to him and giving you a kiss on the forehead. He then turned to Jimin and caressed his face, pushing his sweat-dampened hair out of his eyes and rubbing his cheek gently. Jimin was still far too dazed to speak or react to Taehyung's words or actions. He was still in complete shock that this even happened in the first place, but he wasn't about to say that he wasn't thankful that it did.

You watched your boyfriend through lidded eyes as he got up to go retrieve a towel from the bathroom that he could use to wipe your stomach as well as between your legs. He knew that you would probably go take a shower anyway, which is what you should do, but he didn't really want you to be sitting there in that state anyway.

Once done cleaning you up, he pressed a tender kiss to your lips. The three of you eventually got redressed for the time being so that you could appropriately resume your boring movie and watch it to the end. Because let's be honest, even though the movie sucked, you loved each other's company and you didn't want the night to end.

[ethrealilies]

Have been thinking of an Digital Circus AU

For those wondering its an AU where all the characters from "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" are in digital circus and I might post more of this because I'm already liking this idea and so in order we got: Ted as Pomni - Personality wise they are to implied having Paranoia and even hallucinations and just like Ted Pomni like gets paranoid of the surrounding things within the Digtial Circus and along with it in the Pilot the others believe Pomni is having hallucinations themselves Benny as Zangle - Again personality wise its base how they are emotional but have differences with Benny having a childlike temperament where as for Gangle they wear masks but at most of the time have the tragedy mask as the comedy mask would mostly be broken Ellen as Ragatha - Now both Ellen and Ragatha are both somewhat sane (partially to the talk of Ragatha to Pomni about the digital world) with Ellen trying to make sure the group are together and making sure everyone is okay where for Ragatha does the same thing but in a way to make sure the others are alright and not abstracted when me and my friends were discussing about Ragatha they said that her design is of a Rag doll and we believed that in her past life when she was Human she was thrown around by others or basically taken for granted and also a people pleaser in a way and with Ellen it was mentioned I believe that the group somehow @bu$e her and also taken for granted too when she also have to make sure the group is together and that everyone is okay this could be implied in the book with Benny Nimdok as Kinger - Their both old but at the same time Kinger seems to be traumatized with many fan theories talking about his own wife and along with it he is also seem to be paranoid even sometimes screaming randomly and it is said that Nimdok would wander about randomly and then return back traumatized so I wanna implied that Gorriester as both Jax and Zooble - Now Jax is apathetic whereas Zooble say curse words even vulgar actions with that the middle finger but they both remind me of Gorriester who used to be a pacifist but then became apathetic and even being listless like Zooble lacking enthusiasm from it alone and I had to mix both Zooble and Jax for it but may change later on | AM as Caine - AM and Caine are like both AI but different personality although AM finds enjoyment and pleasure in torturing the five whereas Caine gives them enjoyment whereas being oblivious that they are becoming insane and want to leave and it was even confirmed by Gooseworx themselves so Yeah Now once more episodes come I may do more with it still and these are just sketches I have done so until then I'll just gotta wait and see

[pilot-boi]

I could see Jaune becoming very much like Anakin, under the right circumstances. Someone whose moral compass points to those he cares about. And if it means keeping them safe, nothing is off limits. He would hate it, certainly, but, if it meant their safety was guaranteed... Also I think Adam should get suplexed. It's unrelated, but I just think the mental image of Yang suplexing him in the middle of an evil monologue is very funny and more than a little deserved.

Oh yeah, Jaune is very Anakin coded to me.

(I’m gonna do a whole talk, but please note that I am NOT a die hard Star Wars fan. My knowledge comes exclusively from the movies)

He has darkness in him that he actively fights against to do The Right Thing. The big difference is Jaune has influences that guide him towards the light, whereas Anakin has influences that pushed him towards the dark

I mean the whole reason Anakin committed to the Dark Side (was he was manipulated into it) was he was so terrified of losing his wife and child that he was willing to commit atrocities if it meant he was strong enough to save them

I could totally see Jaune doing the same thing if he was also pushed down that path. This is why those Dark Arc AUs where he’s trained by Salem make sense to me. It could never happen in canon, but in an AU where feeding into his darker tendencies was encouraged? I can totally see it

I mean look at the Ever After. Without the positive influence of his friends, Jaune fell into a self destructive spiral where he was hurting the Paper Pleasers out of a (trauma fueled) need to protect them

How is Jaune trying to kill Cinder out of revenge any different than Anakin killing the Sand People out of revenge? The outcomes were different, obviously, but the motivations were the same

Again, the reason they’re different is because of their influences

Anakin was being manipulated by Sideous as soon as they met, the old man was grooming him into becoming the perfect apprentice. Anakin’s fall was inevitable as soon as they met

On the other hand, Jaune was being trained by Pyrrha, the kindest and most generous person in the fucking show. When she dies, he starts going down a dark path, but he’s flung bodily back into the light when he unlocks his Semblance and realizes he was MADE to heal people

It’s just very interesting to me how two characters can have similar motivations but end up with very different moral compasses because of the people around them

Also, your unrelated comment is very legit. I also think it would be hilarious to see Yang suplex Anakin

[torchickentacos]

21 and 22 for drew? or may if you’ve already been asked those ones about him!

From this ask game! LONG, under cut. Various off-topic musings included.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Ok so disclaimer for the few people who read what I write- this may or may not translate into my end product. I try to keep it in mind but ultimately my fics kind of write themselves and I have minimal input tbh. I'm not steering this car, I just put my foot on the pedal. I make it go but the characters are the ones driving with reckless abandon.

Also these are all just my opinions and if anyone hates them, please don't let me know.

Something that I like doing when writing Drew is leaning into how much he thinks. I enjoy leaning into his internal dialogue, his hang-ups on every little thing, his propensity to dwell (in my characterization of him, anyways, which is, ehhh, give or take maybe 85% taken from canon and 25% bullshitted. My math is wrong but I'm not changing it, there's just an extra 15% of my own bullshit and we'll pretend it was intentional).

When writing him, there tends to be a lot more going on internally than when I write, idk, May or Ash or whoever. Drew's always attuned to the situation, picking things up and filing them away. He's always formulating opinions and thoughts and emotions that rarely make it out of his head. He feels a lot of things but generally they stay inward, whereas when writing someone like May, if she's feeling it, she's probably also expressing it regardless of if she should or not. No filter vs too much of a filter for his own good.

I think that, in a related vein, he's always holding himself back. Both vocally and just... kind of in general? Maybe not career-wise, but emotionally, he'd rather get close and then dart away over and over again instead of making any leaps. He's careful. He'd rather balance on a tightrope than take the fall USUALLY *(this is how I write him, and other portrayals are ones that I love! this is just what I do, not what I'm saying is the right thing). We see it in canon- he gives May roses but hides behind excuses. He starts conversations but leaves just as quickly. He's mercurial and never builds up the bravery that he needs. He's careful to the point of cowardice- and not just ship-wise. This can be used for any number of things, which I find fun. He likes being in control, and if he doesn't feel like he has a steady grasp on a situation, he leaves. And you can't control people's emotions, so that's scary, so he dips out from emotional moments unless something stronger keeps him there. It's a constant push-and-pull between his own mind and emotions. One's always trying to rein the other in and break free of the other at the same time.

He likes certainty. This contrasts well with a certain someone whose entire battle style features assist and metronome, which is built in uncertainty. She challenges him. But that's for another post.

Something I dislike writing is leaning into how much of a jerk he actually is in canon sometimes tbh. Canon can keep that- I do enjoy it situationally but overall I leave that to writers who are better at showing that side of him without making him grating. I prefer watering it down some and making him be annoying in different ways lol, which admittedly does actually close off a few interesting avenues and facets of him. But I think given the tumultuous nature of rival ships and fandom's current... propensity for tossing out words like 'romanticizing' and 'idolizing' and whatever else, I'd rather just leave well enough alone with the worse aspects of him and avoid being called a verbal abuse apologist or whatever 😭 I don't want any avenues for some jackass to be like 'oh ew you write m/f relationships where the man is mean and dominant over the poor woman' or whateverthefuck. TLDR, I'm a people pleaser with worn-thin patience for rival ship discourse.

I also lean towards AU/slice-of-life stuff where his rival jerkassery is less applicable to begin with, anyways. I am FULLY guilty of watering him down and making him nicer, but I'm self-aware, so... there's that, I guess, lol. I also think he'd chill out as he gets older, anyways, leaning more towards 'vaguely prickly and sardonic' than anything else.

Anyways, it's kinda weird to answer these when I never actually share my writing on this blog, but oh well. That privilege got revoked after someone was mean about my writing around me without knowing that it was mine, lol. It wasn't even good criticism (which baffles me because god knows they had material to work with), it was just general bitching about ship fics that aren't as complex as War and Peace. God forbid some people enjoy fluff. Send me to the corner of shame along with the few dozen people who liked my writing and the people who left kind comments. Anyways, it's funny now, but I still won't share writing here. The best way to support me is to support writers in general.

So! General call to action. Go find a fic for your favorite ship (or just any fic in general but I'm being petty and saying 'ship' since the rude person seemed to take issue with shipping) and leave a (NICE. 🔪) comment. Just a heart emoji if you feel like it. Tell writers when you reread their work, just a 'Hey! rereading and remembering how much I liked this one :)' or something. It'll keep them going for a week, I'm telling you. I still think about and reread every single comment that I have ever received. I keep them all copy-pasted in a google doc. It's 24 pages long and 11.2k and it makes me cry (in a good way).

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

This is going to sound so fucking backhanded but I LOOOOOVE reading fics where he has friends. I love reading him talking to Solidad or Gary or Ash or May as a friend or whoever else!!! Make him socialize!!!! it's fun! Lord knows that he doesn't do it enough and it shows. I like reading fics where he gets to interact with people that he doesn't talk to often in canon. So anyone but May pretty much. I love his horrendously down-bad tunnel vision where he only acknowledges May and literally nobody else, funny as hell, but also it'd have been so fun if he actually spoke to other people. I read a fic several years ago where he and Paul were sorta-work-friends, it was some 2014 assassin AU PS/CS/IS fic. but I remember that Drew would intentionally play coldplay songs around Paul to annoy him or something like that. They had a frenemies-bromance-coworkers thing going on and it was just DELIGHTFUL, if a little odd! That shit's hilarious! Let me see Drew bothering other people on purpose and joking with friends!

So. Things I don't like. I personally disagree with the early 2010s FFN portrayals of him as a casanova womanizer, BUT I also kind of love those portrayals for their sheer absurdity and the camp factor lmao. It's not even an ironic enjoyment, it's a genuine affection for that whole era of fics. It's the opposite of how I write him, but it's nostalgic to look back on old fanon. I also don't care for fics that break him and May up but that's obviously a personal bias that I've literally gone against myself on, lmao. It can be done well but sometimes it skirts into ship-bashing territory, usually at Drew's expense. Just because it's not a preference of mine doesn't mean that it's a bad thing to write! I'm just not the audience and that's okay, it's not a failing of the writer. I mentioned the person who disliked my fics and said so publicly, and that doesn't reflect on me. It reflects on their tastes. Same goes here. It's just not to my taste. It's subjective and not at all a statement on the quality or validity of a fic that includes those things.

[gg-selvish]

half-baked georgenap analysis re: banter and expressing remorse

im talking to my friend about this and i wanna go into a little bit more about the banter episode and sapnap's constant berating of george for how he treats people because i think i understand his frustration but i also understand why these situations happen and where the dissonance is and distrust stems from

sapnap has known george for a long time and he's one of george's best friends. it's pretty safe to assume he's around the number 2 slot, yeah? dream is first but sapnap is easily top 5 if not number 2 when it comes to george's friendships. they've been close for years, with a lot of quality time together (note: most intimate of which alone) to learn each other and the way they behave in reaction to different things. the issue is that the majority of this learning was online only where they were with friends or one on one and that can really warp one's perception of how a loved one can behave in reaction to negativity

i said this in my last post: george is incredibly multi-facetted and i dared to say multi-faced. there's a different george for every situation he finds himself in because he's quite versatile and adaptable perhaps because he can be a bit of a people pleaser but also because he just doesn't take things too seriously. he goes with the flow and has his set ways of acting but it's constantly changing and shifting depending on the stimulus (people, places, etc) around him

i think sapnap hates this. this is where i think the issue is.

sapnap is kind of stuck. i haven't really watched his solo content as much as i have with george but from my understanding of sapnap he's pretty much the way he seems: kindhearted, polite, excitable, a little shy, a little easy to rile up, but he's always pretty much the same person and vibe. whereas george behaves differently constantly. i don't want to be too repetitive of my other post but this is drawn from how other ccs have spoken about him so vastly: 'george is a sweetheart' vs 'george is a menace' vs 'george is just a guy'

sapnap has a favourite george. the one who talks to him quietly in comfychat about feelings and speaks for him when he's anxious and lets him carry him around at home and goes out with him to get food or just wander around whereever they are because they're together and their quality is really important to him. the george he's with alone who has the volume turned down is a george he feels comfortable with and understands, right?

so then we get sapnap now witnessing george and how he interacts with others, and we're going to focus on karl with the moped accident. something bad happened to someone they both care deeply about, and they, as two very different people, handle things like this differently.

george expresses guilt through expressions and quietly watching to make sure they're okay. he feels the remorse so heavily but he can't articulate how to make it better so he just shows it

but sapnap says sorry and helps people back on their feet. so he sees george react in his normal way and it pisses him off because he would have handled it differently. and the thing is they both care about karl A LOT. so george is drowning in guilt, sapnap is pissed that he's not expressing it 'correctly', and karl is just bleeding on the ground trying to explain to them that he can process george's remorse regardless of the outward expression sapnap needs to process it, and that just makes sapnap even more angry i think.

because george is always a different george, and other people can read through him when he lets them so he doesn't need to use his words because the other ways he expresses it may be more subtle, but people make the effort to meet him halfway and forgive him regardless of the lack of outright apology

but sapnap is always sapnap. his whole life he's stepped up to help and said sorry and proved that he feels guilty with words of affirmation and acts of service, while george just makes faces and gets stuck in his murky head of bad feelings. he just wants it to go away and be happy george again, so he doesn't apologize or dwell on the issue, he wants to move on and make it up to that person with something he's more acquainted with: jokes, smiles, sunshine stuff

maybe the way sapnap sees it is this: he grovels, and george doesn't, and no matter what they're both forgiven in the end. from his perspective he does more than george to earn forgiveness, and this is a fact in his life that frustrates him. i think it warps in his head that george isnt doing enough, instead of doing it differently. so he gets mad and wants george to do the sapnap thing instead of the george thing but that's never gonna happen. because george is george and sapnap is sapnap and as we all know they're incredibly different in all aspects of their personality and self (it's one of the reasons i like smashing them together like barbie dolls so much)

cool blue and burnt orangey-red, two very different colours for two very different people. george is passive in pain and sapnap is assertive and maybe even aggressive in his comfort for whatever the pain is that was caused, it's just a matter of them learning that their feelings are the same and thats why their forgiveness is the same. but it looks so different in progress and i think george is unwilling to change while sapnap is being a little short-sighted. an immovable object vs an unstoppable force.

[m-ilkiee]

Okay time for my proper review cuz I read it properly now,,, Bro I wanna say in my pov it looks like reader doesn't not have very good self-preservation skills. Like she thinks she does but man 😭 I totally understand tho, she lived in poverty and starving people eat anything.

I feel like Koko will be very interesting in this so will Rindo(I'm just mentioning him cuz you didn't mention him and I just have a gut feeling his character is gonna be like 😃)

Mikey is crazy as usual which is not unexpected.

I don't read your fics for the smut,, I read it for the plot cuz omggg

I remember you talking about the song Brutus for this fic and it definitely fits according to all the summaries. Wanting what someone has and getting it whatever way you can. This is definitely going to be a very refreshing series.

Alsooooo

How different would you say reader in monsters is from reader in deadly affairs?

You are not wrong at all 😭 I won't give out much information but word's on the street is that as much as reader is a 'girlboss' she's also... reckless, especially when intoxicated -which is 70% of the time. She's intelligent, but not that smart.

Kokonoi has a very big role in this fic. He's the one that saves Reader's ass majority of the time and the reason She's not dead yet. But that doesn't mean he's good to her either... in fact, all executives will have a hand in this fic.

Mikey is well... Mikey :)) i can't say more because my editor (also me) says it's a spoiler.

THANK YOU 😭 Please my smut writing skills is ass, so plot it is!

Framing Reader as Brutus and Mikey as Caeser ... we're gonna have a lot of fun with this one.

In terms of difference; Deadly affairs! Reader is highly intelligent and determined to be at the top of the food chain. She's not above using anyone to get her way, abandoning them right after and she's not above murdering her own friends, if she'll benefit from it. She also doesn't care for the executives feelings, seeing men as pigs - you'll see it soon. Whereas Monster! Reader is meek and humble, content with her quiet life and would never hurt a fly. Monster! Reader is a people pleaser, while Deadly Affairs! Reader would only suck up to people and then stab them in the back later.

[lambilegs]

What did you think of Heretic?? 🫣

OKAY SO I have many mixed thoughts on it, I'll just split it into spoiler-free and then spoiling ones

spoiler free:

sister barnes can STEP on me -- I absolutely loved her character so much. she reminds me of lee in some ways with how serious and restrained she is, and how so many of her thoughts and feelings are hidden in these micro-expressions she has. and I just lovde how efficient she was throughout the film, as well as firm and protective

I also did adore sister paxton, she is so so cute and it was refreshing throughout the film how dorky her sense of humour is. she's just so awkward and such a people pleaser, so honestly, she reminded me a lot of myself sometimes LMFAO

the humour itself is also quite funny. mr. reed is SUCH a little bitch, it's actually kinda amusing to watch, and the girls had such contrasting personalities so it made for a really entertaining dynamic

I also really loved their friendship in the film -- how they're so different, but clearly hold a lot of respect, tenderness + care for one another. I found it really refreshing, and such a pleasant surprise, how they were both very accepting and with each other. I felt like it was a very touching, and pretty realistic depiction of, you know, two religious women who carry a lot of love for each other

the talk on religion was quite fascinating, and I think the film did a great job at layering it with tension, discomfort and genuine curiosity. so much was happening during these conversations expression-wise, and it was so cool to watch it all play out. especially because a lot of differing perspectives were being brought up

spoiler-filled thoughts:

def didn't scare me as much as I thought it would. I thought there'd be more of a cat-and-mouse chase going on, but the film ended up being reserved to 3-4 rooms and a lot of conversation. which isn't bad necessarily, but I had hoped that the film would make me feel more on edge and scared due to the anticipation of where mr. reed was, what was the next room the girls would go into, etc.

even in a physical sense, the trailer did give the impression that his home was some sort of maze, and while it was in the movie, I feel like it wasn't explored much in that regard. like, again, we only see and linger in a handful of rooms and I had hoped that more of the film would explore the sisters getting lost and chased around in this maze of a home he has. but, like, instead there were just three rooms 😭

DEVASTATING that sister barnes died so early into the movie omg (I ACTUALLY GASPED AND COVERED MY FACE WHEN IT HAPPENED LMAO). I mean, I understand why it was done since it was such an unexpected turn and also revealed how threatening mr. reed is, but still, I really wanted to see the dynamics of her and paxton together navigating this situation

the, like, reveal of how he tricked them with the woman and the prophecy felt kindaaa predictable

music was BEAUTIFUL oh my god esp when paxton begins praying then eventually escapes the house

the fact that barnes essentially came back to life just to save paxton was extremely beautiful and heart-aching. like, they truly cared so much for each other and deserved a whole lot better

paxton praying in and of itself was also such a profound moment in the movie to me. it does solidify that, yes, she questions her faith, yes, she doesn't believe sometimes, but yes, she will choose to try to believe for the sake of others. there was this selflessness and aching sort of self-awareness that I just found heartbreaking

I wish they delved more into sister barnes' and sister paxton's thoughts and experiences with religion. I felt from the get go barnes was a lot more strained (?) when it came to the religion, whereas paxton felt like she was more passionate, though also in denial of her doubts. and, you know, I wish we just delved more into that -- it was def heavily implied and hinted at, but I wish more was revealed in that regard. like, with paxton watching porn, I thought there'd be more interesting of an exploration regarding her and her sexuality, you know?

also all the conversation made me find mr. reed less scary 😭 ofc, I get why the conversation happens, since the movie enters so much on religion and the truth of a higher power, but sometimes, the conversations got so drawn out and erratic, and it made me feel less scared by him

I just wish I was more impacted by the movie, as well as scared, but it did have some very beautiful and profound moments, which I appreciate it, so maybe, like, 5/10

[29625]

In my very personal opinion, New Order’s Tutti Frutti and People on the High Line are singing about the same relationship from different perspectives. And it really embodies Slimav.

Tutti Frutti portrays a man’s struggle with fitting in and catching up, whilst seeking comfort in familiarity of his lover (his Tutti Frutti).

“You’ve got me where it hurts, but I don’t really care; ‘cause I know I’m okay whenever you’re there.”

Whilst People on the High Line is the other way round, where he tries to comfort while craving love from his lover.

“I need your love, I want it now…I’ll keep trying, it’s gonna be alright. This time we’ll get it right.”

In terms of passion, this song feels more “passionate”—he is actively seeking affection while Tutti Frutti portrays a more passive, somewhat more stable comfort in an established/back-and-forth relationship.

There are unique portrayals of “high” in both songs that makes me think how beautiful they both are (and how you all should listen to New Order. NOW.)

“You take me to a place where I always wanna go. You always make me high, whenever I feel low.” - Tutti Frutti

“I’ll keep trying—I can’t get any higher. There’s nothing I desire.” - People on the High Line

The comparison I am trying to make is that Tutti Frutti has a sense of comfort, tranquility if you will, in a steady routine, whilst People on the High Line depicts his relationship as something that gets him a sense of sharp pleasure—an orgasm, a spike in his system, after he’s somehow earned his lover by “keeping trying”.

Another interesting thing about People on the High Line is its repeated usage of “it’s all going to be alright” as well as “I’ll keep trying” in the chorus—meaning he feels somewhat responsible for the state of his lover.

Tutti Frutti also has some interesting and conflicting elements of newness and fondness whenever he is with his Tutti Frutti; to him, his Tutti Frutti is the one who reminds him it’s okay to be himself whilst adding some spice to his life, whether it’s platonic, romantic, or sexual. This indicates he puts absolute trust in his Tutti Frutti—even though he is sometimes getting some ouches from his lover (judging by the tones of the lyrics, I’m assuming it’s more of a pesky teasing and bantering, rather than truly harmful acts or abuse).

That being said, I feel like Tutti Frutti perfectly sums Maverick’s affection, devotion, and unconditional trust towards Slider whereas People on the High Line portrays Slider’s (strong but not always so overt) attachment towards him.

Maverick is a ball of fire who mellows into Slider’s comforting presence and caring embrace. Slider is a vigilant pleaser who burns up with the spikes of love Maverick showers him with. And that’s how I like to imagine their relationship as.

Thank you for reading. I wrote this short essay instead of actually doing my readings for tomorrow’s social psychology classes.

[thornvault]

Kali Introduction Post

As I've previously threatened, here's info on my Magnifico ship OC (shoutout to @king-magnifico-haven who actually asked for this!! You're so special to me rn 🩷)

Keep in mind that Kali is still a VERY new concept (originally created less than 24 hours ago at the time of writing this, though it may take me a minute to post) so a lot of this information is very likely subject to change. I have the basic idea, but as I toy around with the story I'll be thinking of new things. I'm impatient though so I'm posting what I got so far anyway!

Please be kind to the art. I don't like drawing humans so I don't do it very often 😆

Summary: Kali is in their mid-20s, nonbinary (they/them); they start out as Magnifico's apprentice and eventually become a Dark Mage, but in a good way. They're mastering that damn book. Kicking its butt. They're very motivated. Powerful OCs are cool and sexy!

Personality: Kali is soft-spoken but firm. They are most comfortable being in the background and much prefer to take orders than give them, but they're capable of taking charge if the situation demands it. They are outwardly polite and without much of a temper, though they have a mischievous side that they may show once they feel comfortable. Still new to the concept of safety, they can be a bit skittish and a people-pleaser, but they'll unlearn those habits in time. Once they grow more accustomed to their new home, they'll gradually become more outspoken as time goes by.

Plot: The main change to the movie for this AU is that there are several months or even years between Asha's failed interview and the rest of all that plot. Instead of immediately making a Wish Upon A Star™ and being heard, it stews a while, maybe Asha even gets her own little underground rebellion going before Star ever shows up. Let there be a proper plot. Once she turns 18, she'll just choose to keep her wish, what's Magnifico going to do about it? He may not like it but it does seem like a voluntary thing to do so he's not going to force her. For now.

Anyway. Onto Kali. They're relatively new to Rosas, a war fugitive from a place I haven't yet named. Kali has seen more than their fair share of suffering and loss. The Kingdom of Rosas always sounded like a fairytale to them, they never fully believed it to be real until they found it. Welcomed to a safe haven in exchange for nothing, they feel indebted to the people, and Magnifico especially, for taking them in.

Their Wish™ is to be able to help, to make a difference - however small - in the lives of people and all living beings. The pain they've endured has made them gentle, not cold, and they just want to make things better. Their past reminds Magnifico of his own, and seeing their wish when they give it to him, he offers them the position of his assistant - what better way to help than by learning magic, after all? Kali turns out to be fairly talented in it. It'll take a while to learn all the spells and potions and whatnot, but they clearly have the potential.

We all know why I'm here, of course. As surely nobody who's ever met me could have guessed, this mentor/student arrangement turns into an affair, which then turns into the real deal. Only there is the small problem of the Queen who may not be entirely on board with this concept. Sorry Amaya.

I haven't entirely figured out how things will play out here, only that Kali will stand by Magnifico and try to help as he slowly slips off the deep end, whereas Amaya just sort of drops him the second he starts glowing (really, Kali felt bad for her, but if she wanted to keep him she should've treated him better). It's not that they fully agree with his methods, but A) he's their mentor, surely he knows best; and B) he's not entirely wrong. Yeah, people should get their wishes back if they want them, it's THEIR wishes after all, but damn you're not even going to ask him nicely? Just break in and steal them after he's spent years keeping them safe for you? And he's clearly not doing well so they're sort of stuck between being supportive and trying to steer him into another direction, it's a weird position to be in.

Anyway, let's assume we're still going with movie canon to some degree and the ending still happens. Amaya offers Kali a position as High Mage; though wishes will of course no longer be taken nor granted, magic can still be useful. They may continue their studies by themself and continue living in the castle. It doesn't feel right at all, and they miss Magnifico.

So Kali does the unthinkable, and gets out that book. They're careful, very careful, but they have a lot more time now than Amaya and Dahlia did, and there has to be some way to free him. Getting him out of the mirror sounds easy enough, though it does require using spells from the forbidden book. But then there's the whole deal with unbinding him - well, at that point both of them, really. They visit him in the dungeon as often as they can without arousing suspicion, but it does take a long time for them to find a way to do all that.

And that's the story of how Kali begins to study forbidden magic and ways to use it safely, and revolutionizes the entire concept of how magic works. They can do it because they have genuinely good intentions with it and know how to keep their emotions in check. They got a pure heart. Come on, it's Disney, bear with me here. That makes sense in-universe. Magnifico gets fixed by True Love's Kiss and you can take that from my cold dead hands.

[addictwoapen]

rewatching normal people; s1 ep 1

There are so many things I absolutely adore about Normal People. Not only did I love the book, but the show is one of my favorite adaptations too. Obviously the book gives more personal insight than a show ever really could unless there was a type of narration occurring throughout the show. But there is a lot that the show does a great job of showing through the production style that brings it home in a beautiful way.

I love how much silence there is during dialogue. So much of adolescence is that awkward silence that you experience time and time again with not only your crushes but your friends and family. The background noises are not extensive and music doesn't take up a lot of the scenes. There is soft music occasionally but I feel like it's placed well. This requires the actors to take part in most of the storytelling. The way in which Paul Mescal and Daisy Edgar Jones portray anxious teens going through the experiences of first love and growing up is just immaculate. I can feel the anxiety through the screen and the the excessive caring about what others think, which really brings this show home as an amazing portrayal of life.

The setting becomes a bit more important as the show goes on, but in the first episode, there is not anything special about the cinematography of the landscape that adds to the story like some shows or films. The camera is focused on the dichotomy of Mescal's character Connell and Jones' character Marianne, and I think the parallels between the two are fascinating.

At their core, Connell and Marianne have an obvious class difference, with Marianne's family being on the wealthier side, and Connell and his mother not so much. Connell's mother works as a maid for Marianne's family, but is treated well by Marianne and is seen as a mother figure throughout the show toward Marianne. Small things that seem unimportant but really drive home their differences are the opposite demeanors of each of the character's mothers. Marianne's mom is cold and judgmental, always making a comment about something she is doing wrong; Marianne doesn't eat dinner with her family or converse as freely as she does with other characters. Whereas Connell's mom is inquiring about his university plans, what he wants to study, and is sat with him at dinner eating together. This is the first main depiction of their familial differences that separate them further than just their class difference. So even though Marianne may seem to be more well-off than Connell, it is insinuated by Connell's mom that she "doesn't have it easy", despite Connell's clear misunderstanding of how she could have it so hard when money isn't a core concern for her.

Despite the character's similar struggles with self-esteem and image, they both present it in different ways. In this series, Connell is a bit more of a people pleaser and wants everyone to like him because he wants to be perceived in a positive light; but Marianne presents her struggles with self-esteem in a harsher and more standoff-ish way. She talks back to teachers and is quick-witted and insulting to her classmates. I like that the male lead is portrayed in a typically feminine portrayal of anxiety and vice versa with Marianne's character. Although we do see Marianne's people-pleasing side come out a bit more when she is alone with Connell, it is the only time we see that side of her.

Overall, I loved the introduction to Connell and Marianne in the first episode and how we see the similarities and differences between the two.

[khaleesiofalicante]

I don’t think it is Other Max or Max or Any Orher Max who is the cause of opening up the Pandemonium. It’s someone else. It’s not Lance either. I

Perhaps it’s someone else from the future who figured out Other Maxs truck to time travelling and has come back?

Maybe it’s Lucy.

Maybe it’s even the Dream Strangler.

But it’s not Max. Its too obvious. And you’re anything but that.

Rafael needs a SERIOUS smacking on the head. He’s a leader. He HAS to make tough decisions. He can’t just hide behind “the council won’t approve it”. Like bro the council didn’t approve your fathers marriage so they changed the law. Hell he himself was radical enough to fight the council when he wanted to strip off his tunes. But now he’s a people pleaser. Bro. Open your eyes. You don’t NEED to please these stuck up bitches. Half of them are going to die son anyway. The only one you need to worry about is Madeline. Rest are dumb anyways.

Moreover. Being just sad that he can’t do anything and he broke his brothers heart isn’t going to do shit. You can’t wail in your own pain and assume others will forgive you. You gotta show up. You gotta care. You gotta do something to make them see it.

But more importantly.

YAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYAYA FAIRCAIN BEGINSSSSSSSS.

Faircain is here, yes. We'll see where it goes hehe.

Rafael's characterisation has been so interesting to write. I know it's frustrating to read, but like, for me it's so realistic. Because if it was Cami or Theia or whoever else, they'd do exactly what we want them to do. But Rafael won't. This is what happens when people are in power for too long. They get used to the system. Like the consul he was 20 years ago is sooo different from the consul he is now (not to mention all the external shit that has changed around him).

I see this a lot of with different governments and state leaders where the younger leaders are more reckless (but in a good way) whereas older experienced leaders are more careful.

The best solution is for Rafael is to step down, but he can't do that without risking Madeleine becoming consul (which will make things worse) so yeah it's all very :(

PS - I love the 'dream strangler' name. sounds kinda cool idk.

[pozzonero]

Book 'em.

I wrote the following on 12/2/23. It seemed to me that since the callout - in the absence of information or proof - people had been rushing to judgment at breakneck speed. The only thing that might slow them down was knowledge of Simona's self-published books, which I had obtained from Amazon. Their content, their tone, and their author's (worrying) state of mind might slow the kneejerk reflex and put her current campaign of hatred into perspective.

Did you know the blogger involved in the callout against Ethan Torchio self-published three books about him? Neither did I, until a week ago. While the mutual who hipped me to this fact drew the line at sharing book titles or links, they said that she was listed on Amazon and left me to do my due diligence.

Which I did.

If You Knew the Harm I Wanted to Do to You (published Feb. 2021) chronicles a doomed romance between two kids - not even vent'anni! - during the summer after COVID lockdown. Everything's magical until their differences surface. He's elusive, the cerebral type who retreats when pressed about his emotions. She's effusive, a people-pleaser deeply afraid of abandonment. It's a classic doom dynamic with a predictable outcome. What began in July is over by December, at which time poetry - bitter, grieving, poignant, and profane - arrives to fill the void. I'm not going to reproduce it here, but suffice to say, it punched the everloving breath out of me.

When the person you've decided is your other half does not conclude the same about you, the pain can be all-encompassing. The poet both misses and reviles her "first and only love"; she alternates between wistful odes to his beauty and withering criticisms of his failure to recognize their destiny together. How do we know his identity? Scattered clues point the way. He has long, beautiful hair which she worships with Song-of-Solomon intensity, tiny scars on his cheek and forehead, crooked teeth he self-consciously hides, and a fleeting nervous tic. He loves astronomy, so the poet tucks celestial metaphors here and there to show she's been alert to his interests. She also pledges to try and accept his irrefrenabile libertà - ostensibly his long-held belief in free love - so long as he submits to an embrace that grows tighter and more possessive as the pages turn. From this book's bone-chilling title, we can easily guess where that leads.

Anger Will Keep My Memory of You Alive (Aug. 2021) is dedicated as follows: A te, E, che temi l'amore. A me, che temo il dolore ("To you, E, who are afraid of love. To me, who is afraid of pain"). Whereas the cover of If You Knew features a hand delicately cupping a rose, this one's covered in snapshots of the poet in blood-and-bruise makeup, heralding a change of tone-- less pining, more rage. In a salvo of free-verse lines as sharp-tipped as darts, she skewers her ex (now a world-famous rockstar) and fumes over the fact that he seems wholly unaware of his punishment. I bet you haven't even read the book I wrote for you, she taunts. I bet that book scares you like hell. For all its language of obsession, this one might scare him more.

Add Another Gram (Sept. 2021) is styled like a self-help book, with Instagram-friendly motivational graphics about self-worth and self-reflection. Its title refers to emotional dependency, which the poet now declares the source of her suffering. Her valiant mission: to explore her own anxious attachment and abandonment issues with a mind to freeing herself from the cycle. This includes reviewing her failed relazione (which she has downgraded - after much pain, I'm certain - to a 'frequentazione') and attempting to make peace with it (and him) in her soul. Ultimately she acknowledges that despite the pain her emotional addiction generates, her effort is not hopeless. If she's lost perspective, she's fighting hard to gain it back.

Reading this, I felt a wave of relief for her. Thank god, I thought. She's healing. Silly me, I forgot-- this book is two years old. At present, her IG account has just been suspended (again) for incitamento all’odio - hate speech - against men. In an early post, she identified as misandrica (man-hater), adding, Questa parola è mia amica e la rivendico con un orgoglio smisurato ("This word is my friend and I claim it with immeasurable pride.") Later posts sizzle with a level of loathing reminiscent of Valerie Solanas' S.C.U.M. Manifesto. But unlike Solanas (who used an actual bullet to take down a famous man), this revolutionary is open to other, more clandestine methods of assassination. Recently she launched a campaign to establish a worldwide, crowd-sourced, underground registry of abusers. Three guesses whose name will be first on the list.

Is she the author of the anonymous callout? If so, she's come a long way, baby. These are serious charges directed at a person toward whom she harbors a hostility both documented in her own words and published by her own hand.  Her grudge against Ethan Torchio is on Amazon-- how much more 'on the record' can you get?

If we go by the books, what are the charges? According to her, he was too detached. He expressed thoughts more easily than feelings. He always held a part of himself back. Even though her emotions were often a frightening force majeure, she wanted him to want to match her, feeling for feeling. He couldn't, or wouldn't. In an effort to detach, he engaged in sketchy behavior-- alternating warm affection and cool evasion, closeness and distance. And while his irrefrenabile libertà was tolerable in the abstract, the reality of it shattered the relationship. He moved on with greater ease than she did, triggering an avalanche of pain. In short, he acted like a nineteen-year-old asshole. But that's not a reportable crime, contrary to the beliefs of countless fangirls. And the most serious allegations from the callout are nowhere to be found between these covers.

What's left? Despite my alarm at her actions, the experience of reading her words made me feel intense sympathy and sorrow for the poet. How this Promising Young Woman got from there to here is a sad, difficult, challenging line to trace. But it IS traceable. I have had close friends in my life who suffered in the same way and for the same reasons; they taught me that for some, love - unrequited, rejected, or attempted and failed - can be more than a temporary grief. It's pure psychic torment that takes a lifetime of labor to keep in check. For the poet I wish an escape from its snare. May she someday experience a libertà of her own.

Now you see them...

In mid-December 2023, I decided to delete all mention of Simona from my main blog. Given that most fans seemed disinclined to risk their online reputations over this debate, it seemed futile to pursue it. All I felt I could do was leave behind Simona's full name and the titles of her books in case anyone cared to pursue them.

One week later, she removed all of them from Amazon.

In my X travels, it appeared that while a number of people knew of the existence of the books, few had read them. As controversy grew, Simona may have become alarmed by the uptick in discussion of her poems, the details of which contradicted her allegations against Ethan. Furthermore, her own words revealed a weaker, more dependent version of today's iron-hard, relentless Simona-- and that would never do. Making her books unavailable must have seemed the best form of pre-emptive damage control.

While I could not distribute Simona's texts without violating copyright law, I COULD summarize and review them in a public forum. I decided to post commentary on X as frequently as I could in the hopes that people would see through her gaslighting and revisionism. But here on Tumblr it was another matter.

[kozykricket]

i was reminded again about like. there totally will be some sort of "judgement hall" equivalent in deltarune at the end and.

i think theres SO many opportunities for the games one ending to... have you go through how you've effected the different people. how many friends you helped kris make... how many fun journeys ralsei got to go on... how much susie has grown like. i really think the chapter 1 demo ending was toby getting across the idea of a one ending. if you defeat the king, susie... HAS learned to work together more, but. she says sometimes you've just gotta go for violence meanwhile if you tire him out, she ... well, we all know how the endings go. i think that taken to a greater extent, of like. if you just Defeat every boss, she doesnt really get to grow as a character, i think that'd be quite interesting. maybe the bosses can be what effects susie, whereas the recruiting of other enemies and npcs is what effects ralsei ralsei either ... spending his final time in a mostly empty castle town, saying something like "Well, you've all taught me that... maybe sometimes kindness cant work out. I've... still had a nice time." or i dunno . maybe he wouldnt be such a people pleaser by the end

still, i think susie and ralsei will both have a big reflection moment about how many friends they've made vs how many times theyve had to resort to fighting rather than kindness. ...and hear me out. right at the end, asriel comes back, and asks kris if they've made any friends. maybe he shows up to your class, and... if you've done weird routes, he notices that. not much has changed for each of your classmates. thats what i think the deal with freezing berdly is: it isnt to Kill him Off. its to halt his character development. a friend pointed out to me that... he gets frozen and that means that he doesnt even get to have his whole realization about proving himself and upholding an image of being smart. just some stuff to think on. im kinda tired and, frankly, the person i talked to about this stuff a while ago was much better at writing specific sort of dialogues for a "susie judgement" than i was. ralsei talk is... something ill have to talk about tomorrow. i tired

[marjaystuff]

Maisey Yates Interviewed

Cowboy Wild and One Little Spark are recently published books by Maisey Yates.  Because One Little Spark is domestic suspense, she has written the book under the anonymous name Ellie Banks. Two books, each a different genre.  Besides writing her wonderful cowboy romance stories she has also ventured into writing stories that have women relationships, almost a “sisterly bond.”

One Little Spark has a fire destroying a small town, throwing the lives of three women into turmoil. These women must pick up the pieces and survive the secrets. The narrative jumps back and forth in three time periods: the day of the fire, a year before the fire, and a year after the fire.

Cowboy Wild shows why Maisey Yates is one of the best romantic authors around. She takes readers on an emotional roller coaster ride along with the characters. This is also a book about fire, but not in the literal sense.  Both the hero and heroine are playing with fire emotionally. This story is about a brother’s best friend falling for the sister.  Elsie Garret is the youngest of three siblings and has known Hunter McCloud her entire life. It seemed Hunter was a big brother to her as he taught her how to do ranch work and horseback riding. She easily turns to Hunter for relationship advice considering he is well known as a playboy. They decide to take an overnight trip to check on horses and to buy Elsie the right type of clothes to flirt. But having to share a hotel room and being in such close proximity changes things between them. Now they must navigate their feelings and determine if they want a happily ever after together.

Elise Cooper: What genre would One Little Spark fall into?

Maisey Yates: It is not a thriller or mystery, but domestic suspense like Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty. Both my book and Liane’s have secrets unfold through the relationships, basically everything is linked through the relationships.  This is a little bit darker than the romance novels I write. 

EC:  Which genre do you enjoy writing more?

MY: I do not have a favorite but do like mixing things up with getting into a different head space.  In some ways I would say suspense is easier because there are plot points rather than unfolding through emotions. It can be very challenging to drive a story through emotions. The hard part is coming up with the concept for the suspense.  I do plot these types of books where my romance books have everything character and emotion driven. 

EC:  How would you describe Jenna?

MY:  She is kind and not necessarily nice.  Women always get “she is difficult, and not nice,” which you do not hear a lot about men. But in examining her actions she shows up for people. I related to her because I am also outspoken. There are people who can be very sweet and do not rub someone the wrong way but are not effective. Whereas Jenna is constantly advocating for people. She is results driven, confident, and self-reliant. 

EC:  How would you describe Alex?

MY:  She is more of a people pleaser than Jenna. She is process oriented, does not like to make waves, and is a perfectionist, but not as confident as Jenna. People would say Alex is nice. 

EC:  How would you describe Chelsea?

MY:  She is more of a misfit. She is the type of person that took the back seat, not the over-achiever. She enjoys the spotlight not being on her. She is a bit of a people pleaser.  

EC:  What was the role of the fire in the book?

MY: It made people change through a disruption of life. Everybody lost something forcing people to rebuild their life in a critical way. The fire was a reset that forced the characters to re-evaluate their life.  The suspense comes with the fire because people need to find out how it started.

EC:  Can you explain this book quote, “The unfortunate thing about city councils and all the assorted types of boards was that they tended to be populated with the mean and the petty.”

MY:  This is every group run by volunteers the world over. The power does not appeal to me. I like to make changes that help people. The hierarchy has people who enjoy putting stamps on things and enjoying the people surrounding them. This attitude could be found in school boards, city councils, the upper class of the small town, in academia, in writing organizations, in Churches. Every place there is a group of people these dynamics can be found. 

EC:  The other book recently published is your romance book Cowboy Wild.  Can you talk a little about it?

MY:  I reader favorite has been Bad News Cowboy, about the Garrett family. This current book was intentionally done as a revisit with Elsie Garrett who is cousins to the heroine in the previous book. It has been eight years since I wrote it. It was fun to write again an older brother’s best friend falling for a tomboy heroine. 

EC:  How would you describe Elsie?

MY: She is a confident tomboy who thinks she knows more than she really does. She is hotheaded, guarded, a little bit impatient, and direct. Her parents abandoned the siblings.

EC:  How would you describe Hunter?

MY: He is a playboy.  He is protective, charming, and has emotions bottled up.  He had an abusive father. 

EC:  How about the relationship?

MY:  Elsie likes to get a rise out of him and is pretty much the only person who can. He feels guilty about his feelings for her. He cannot charm her even though he does it with others.  She is meaner to him than with other people. He cannot default to his regular ways with her, he must be honest.  She knows him so well and is not taken by his looks. In the beginning they both did not know how to deal with their feelings, sometimes annoyed, sometimes jealous.  Hunter describes her as a “loose cannon, hurricane, and a loaded pistol.” He admires these things about her even when he is being disparaging. Thus, she fascinates him.  He realizes that what they have is special and different before she does.   

EC:  What about the role of Alaina and Travis?

MY: He is a ranch hand, and she is Elsie’s best friend. They are not a love triangle. Alaina had a crush on Hunter, but Elsie was in love him. She knows that Travis is just someone who is a handsome cowboy. 

EC: Next book?

MY:  The next cowboy romance is The Rough Rider, coming out in July. This is Alaina and Gus’s story.  Gus is the older brother of Hunter who stood up to their abusive father. I have not written this type of story before. She is pregnant with Travis’s baby.  Travis leaves but to help her Gus claims the baby as his. He does not want her to experience the blowback of being a single mom. The story was a slow falling in love.

THANK YOU!!

[julie-finlay]

I love reading your tags and I know we talked about stuff like this on here before, and I think you are absolutely right regarding Finn and her anger towards Russell and even herself for what happened in Seattle and later on for everything she goes through in Vegas. Under A Cloud is one of my favorite episodes for this reason, we get so much more of that angst and hurt from Finn. But even going back to the season 12 finale “Homecoming” Russell tells her he never said she was wrong about the Cooley thing which makes me think he was only angry at her for putting him in the position of having to fire her. And makes things even more complicated in her head. There is so much complexity to their relationship I could write so many essays. Thank you for getting me motivated to think about them more (as if I couldn’t help but keep them in the back of my mind all these years since the show ended 😂) but I really miss it and them and I don’t think I’ve found another dynamic quite like Russell and Finn on TV since then.

Hey!! I'm so glad you don't mind me tag rambling meta and/or idiocy on your content, because it makes me very happy :)

This is INTERESTING because it made me realise I've spent a lot of time thinking about Finn being angry with the job/the system/Russell, but not really at HERSELF and I think that's such a good insight?? Like I think she would HATE feeling like she's disappointed people because she is such a people-pleaser, but /especially/ Russell, and honestly that's probably a good part of the reason she's so resolute and adamant about being right, because if she's the one who's been wronged then it's easier to avoid thinking that she's hurt anyone else??

And the point about Russell not saying she was /wrong/ about Cooley is so key (I'm close to Homecoming on my re-watch and looking forward to it!) - and it touches on something else I've been thinking about lately which is that so often they refer to him firing her / her being fired, and only a couple of times touch on the fact that he actually asked for her resignation. Which feels like a Very Important Distinction in the sense that doing it that way essentially meant she was able to take some time away and then work again, whereas had she actually been /fired/ I don't know if that would have been possible? Like I think from Russell's position, doing things that way probably saved her career in the long run, but 9 times out of 10 she's just like 'u fired me >:(((' which is actually not even TRUE.

Okay this was long but it also felt extremely cathartic so thank you! I totally get what you mean about not finding another dynamic quite like that, because hey, it's a decade later and here I am re-watching :')))