#where's that one meme where its like 'i have no respect for the english language my mistakes r all intentional' me rn
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idyllcy · 1 month ago
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creaks in the floor || task force 141 + könig horror event
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Pit. pat. pit. pat.
There is a sense of death that only seems to ghost with staying quiet for the better, hand over your mouth as you dare not to even dart your eyes, the quiet creaking of the floorboard squeaking with each step. The tanginess of the red coats your lungs, and the splinter the raw wood gives you stains your mouth. You'll hold your breath, count to ten, and then the creaks in the wood disappear into another bad dream.
Though, the blood of red snarled on the birch will not.
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Week 1 - Sound // With Simon "Ghost" Riley
One second there is a crunch, and the next, death.
Week 2 - Smell // With Johnny "Soap" MacTavish
Metallic, tangy... rotting
Week 3 - Sight // With König
There is blue, then red, then, nothing.
Week 4 - Touch // With Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Your skin prickles, his skin straightens
Week 5 - Taste // With John Price
a blood in your mouth. and there is metal where the tongue is.
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Update time: thursdays ? i hope.
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Let's talk about respect for each other, dear fans of "Treasure Island" by David Cherkassky
(although I recommend that other fans of the film/cartoon adaptations of Robert Louis Stevenson's novel join in).
Before I start talking about the problem in the Russian fandom of Treasure Island 1988, I want to say: I am Russian too and I am writing this not because I am an offended foreigner, but because I am ashamed of you all (this is a message to the fanatics works of Cherkassky).
The fact is that I noticed one interesting detail that helps to distinguish the Russian Internet from the English one. On the English-speaking internet, I feel comfortable saying that I like Takarajima because I know that most people will react either positively or neutrally. But on the Russian-language Internet, I need to conduct a fairly long search to find a person who will not judge me for loving anime. On the Russian Internet, treating someone neutrally or respectfully is considered a new fashion...
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I don’t feel like I’m part of the Russian-speaking fans of the 1988 film adaptation, since I also love other film adaptations of Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel. And this is... strange, because in theory we should share our love for various cartoons and films, and not beat those who love other works or are afraid of being beaten.
I have often come across the opinion that David Cherkassky is a genius and that only his version of Treasure Island is correct. I've often read that fans of 1988's Treasure Island think other adaptations from other countries are weird. I have often come across the opinion that there is only one correct and good film adaptation of Stevenson’s novel.
And I'm sick of it all.
Man who is over thirty years old and who calls children idiots for unfunny memes about your favorite cartoon, I am addressing you and others like you. I appeal to all those who cannot see what even blind Pew would see.
THERE IS NO CORRECT OR IDEAL FILM OR CARTOON ADAPTATION OF "TREASURE ISLAND"!
In the entire history of cinema, there has never been a perfect adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson's novel that everyone liked.
And now I will prove it:
The 1965 adaptation may seem strange in terms of plot, instead of people it's all animals, and the ending is different from the ending of the original story;
The 1971 adaptation left virtually nothing of the original story;
The 1978 adaptation often deviates from the canonical development of events in order to stretch the runtime over twenty-odd episodes;
Treasure Planet 1982 is a drug trip for everyone who worked on this cartoon (the budget for this cartoon is three packs of cocaine and marijuana, I'm sure of it);
The 1988 adaptation is a comedy based on the novel, which did not include enough characters (for example, Jim's parents remained somewhere off-screen) and events;
Legends of Treasure Island (1993) is a mystery series where events from Stevenson's novel appear less and less as the series progresses;
The 2002 DVD adaptation is not particularly pleasing with its cheap animation and character reactions (some people find the film adaptation rather boring and faded);
Treasure Planet 2002 may not appeal to some due to the space setting and decisions related to the characters (for example, not everyone will appreciate the fact that Smollett became an alien catwoman and that Livesey and Trelawney were combined into one character) and plot.
However, all these cartoon adaptations also have advantages:
The 1965 adaptation has an interesting twist on how predators have to hide their real selves. I'm talking about claws and how they have to fight the urge to walk on two legs. This also explains why the bones in the chest are treasure to them;
What may be interesting about the 1971 adaptation is that it deviates greatly from the original book;
The 1978 adaptation boasts beautiful stills that you wouldn't be ashamed to frame on your wall, and a soundtrack that might make some people cry ("Oh yes, yes! Play that violin even harder! I want to hear all your skill in this composition!! Ah~");
1982's Treasure Planet appeals to some people precisely because it's quite weird. “So bad it’s good” is how you can describe it. Character design and weird animation can also come in (I like Jim);
People like the 1988 adaptation due to the ease of storytelling, fun and vivid images of characters that you will not be able to forget. I also like it because it teaches the right things, for example, they say that smoking and drinking are harmful to human health (thanks to these songs, I don’t consider smoking and drinking alcohol something cool);
Legends of Treasure Island 1993 can help people relive their innocent childhood and forget about reality for a while. There are violent moments and interesting plot developments that are fun to follow;
The 2002 adaptation follows the book almost exactly. Jim is still a good boy and he, like the others, is not annoying (considering the quality of the picture, this could have happened, but did not);
Treasure Planet 2002 is interesting to watch, at least because it combined the 18th century and the theme of space. Because of this idea, we have a unique product about space, which is unique among all others. As a person who doesn’t like the theme of space because of monotony (the theme of modernity in any work is not interesting to me, just like the future), I admit that wooden ships in space captivated me.
And this is without even mentioning the other cartoons and films based on the book (and there are a lot of them)! But I think that it has already become clear to you that everywhere and in all film adaptations, in addition to the bad, there is also good. I know I haven't talked about Treasure Island from the Muppets or McDonald's, but the fact is that I haven't watched them yet. I'll definitely watch everything!
However, my goal was not to talk about all the film adaptations of my favorite book - my goal was to show that you can find at least one more film adaptation of Treasure Island that you like.
However, my goal was not to talk about all the film adaptations of my favorite book - my goal was to show that you can find at least one more film adaptation of Treasure Island that you like.
And before I finish writing this post, I want to offer you three simple rules that, if followed, can reconcile fans of different “Treasure Islands” (I hope they'll work).
And these three rules sound like this:
1) Read the original novel by Robert Louis Stevenson (not a summary, not a short version of the book, but the whole story);
2) Watch other cartoons and films based on the book and find those film adaptations that you like to talk about;
3) Treat other fans of the book and/or any other film adaptation with respect if they behave appropriately.
That's all, dear readers. Thank you for reading my post. You can safely express your opinion in the comments, I just ask you to write calmly and adequately. What's your favorite Treasure Island adaptation? What other cartoon or anime do I not know about?
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tortellinisposts · 8 months ago
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more matt for the soul bc he’s the love of my life. I have only had him for a year and a bit now but my god, he has completely taken over my life. he IS my Roman Empire. my autistic special interest. *insert markiplier green screen meme here*
ANYWAY-
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the way he switches between soft and sexy is so funny help-
anyway- my main goal is TO BLOW UP ANF ACT LIKE I DONT KNOW NOBODY HAENEGEGEGENH
sorry.
here’s some matty facts and hcs
he’s very gay with ghost cause i said so. english x scot is very funny to me. mostly cause me and my gf are that trope so…
matt is ethnically jewish !! i am too and i like putting my religious experiences on my blorbos. he struggles to understand his ancestry considering he’s one of the descendants of those who’d converted prior to the Second World War and one of those whose distant relatives died in the Shoah. he doesn’t believe in the religion but he takes some of the the practices or cultures into his life out of respect and honour for his history :)
he really hates normal tea but loves cinnamon or peppermint.
he’s a tad similar to jason todd funnily enough.
matt is super smart in the creative side of the world, he’s alright at maths and other sciencey stuff but expressive arts is where his strengths lie. he also really loves languages and has an adoration for Scots Gaelic because SCOTLAND FOREVER !!
matt had a twin brother, arthur. but unfortunately his brother passed away in action a few years after they were recruited by MI6.
matt and arthur’s alias’ were atreides cause their dad, craig was in MI6 before them and he was called atreus. also yes. they are referencing agammemnon and meneleus that was acc by mistake.
i named matt cipher because of gravity falls not for cringe reasons okay??? its because i was obsessed with the show when i was little. also it has plot significance.
he gets called the fruitier version of soap. it’s because of their haircuts. oh and because they’re scottish.
he listens to mitski, ethel cain and paris paloma. also lana del rey when he’s feeling somber. OH- and lady gaga.
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desultory-novice · 2 years ago
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I've had these 2 ideas for about a year now. I'll start with one and wait for your opinion. I imagined a game where Kirby has to fight multiple factions (about 6-10 new ones) they're all fighting for an artifact with enough power to control all reality (the multiverse, lol). But little did they know that the artifact was secretly a demon preying on their greed and the constant fighting hastened it's release. Ok now that I'm thinking about it sounds like Star Allies. But Kid Icarus inspired it
Some of these ran pretty short so I ran through a handful of yours in a batch, Infinite! Hope that’s okay!
Let's go...!
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Ahh, I haven't played Kid Icarus Uprising. Someday! (Well, I'll probably just watch a let's play or something!)
It's interesting that Kirby might be in the center of a conflict like this, because while Kirby could be considered greedy for food (depending upon the verse/interpretation) Kirby would really have NO reason to have any interest in this artifact, at least for its intended purpose, so would be the only person ostensibly immune to its/the demon's sway?
When you said 6-10, my thought was "broken up into worlds!" but it's pretty funny to imagine Kirby just tearing through faction after faction. Actually, it could be that the demon, which can't really trick Kirby into unlocking it out of a desire for power, ends up using Kirby beating up all the bad guys (to get them "to stop") as the energy it needs for its release?
At least, is any of that close to what you were thinking?
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It's funny that although Elfilis technically counts as a "sealed away inter-dimensional monster" I still think this is a bit of a fun, original idea. Also, I could TOTALLY imagine Kirby setting off something like that on accident! That’s almost the perfect Kirby game opening!
Now, the set up makes me think Ancients ("Ancients!" are so much the "Aliens!" meme of the Kirby fandom!) but it wouldn't be weird to see other societies/locations they've had an effect on. I always think back to the Black Market filled with Halcandran goods in that Galacta Knight light novel. There's so many worlds beyond what we've seen! (Or even other cultures that might have misused Ancient tech. Kind of reminds me of the theory that Magolor might not be from Halcandra at all, but just an opportunist.)
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Honestly, I think bringing back some of the old power-up concepts from the older games would be really cool! (Like KTA’s idea!) But hmm, I don't know if I specifically want another Robobot-focused game. (I mean, having a sequel after  such a long time might be fun, but I don’t want to go back to the HWC as villains. Maybe something involving Lightron? (...I think that’s the name of the company from FL. The ones that spell out HAL?)
Speaking of HAL, given how much they treasures their old & unused concepts, there's a better than average chance we might see them again! Although I wouldn't be surprised if Kirby wasn't the one riding them...!!
(I want to see Susie's Cat Secretary design and Hyness's more Owl-ly designs get reused as future characters, myself! If you buy into one of the unused Magolor's becoming Haltmann, it's not that far-fetched either!)
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One thing I love about the anime is how important they make Nightmare! I really like that they treat the game last bossses (...Okay, boss singular) with respect.
K-Kinda...
:thinks about short king Customer Service and that cursed video:
But I've always thought Nightmare could be something pretty cool. (Glad he came back in Super Kirby Clash! But even then, he mostly gets tossed around by D-Mind and the others. Well, I guess he IS pretty silly with that exaggerated chin of his and 2nd Edition D&D looking wizard hat!)
Oh, as for the "Wizard" thing, on a language note, I find it utterly fascinating that as opposed to "magic-using" characters like Marx and Magolor and Taranza, the "Wizard" in Nightmare Wizard is pronounced in English! It really distinguishes him, which is perhaps the reason I like to give him a greater sense of importance than he perhaps deserves.........
But he shares this “uses English in his name” with Drawcia Sorceress! I've always felt there was a connection between them, myself! (I recall a Twitter post somewhere that noted they both had a frame of VHS looking static in their animations? And that Eflilis did too?! Yeah... I think SOMETHING is up....)
But indeed, the anime and games have a strange little relationship to each other! Galaxia, as I recall, was brought into the games from the anime? Meta Knight’s sword didn’t have that distinctive design + the name until after it aired. 
I don't think Galaxia has much game lore, but we also have some other interesting swords in the games that we haven't seen much of since! Particularly the Rainbow Sword from DL2 and the Master Sword from Amazing Mirror! (I would love to see some update on ALL of them, myself! Maybe we can get a Meta Knight & Magical Sword focused game! The fact that we got to see Meta's old sword in FL means they're at least thinking about it!)
Is Wolfwrath the monster from Meta's backstory with... Garlude, is it? I guess I need to watch those episodes, as they seem to have affected a lot of people!
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lostacelonnie · 11 months ago
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Ah hell my bad i did get. Really busy & really tired the end of year holidays are busy & really draining. I am a sea person but im glad that resonates with non sea people too. People try & talk to you often there? I dont know a whole section of verb conjugation so im not sure how id do there. Fried bread & cinnamon sugar what a peak combination thank you churros. Same i need to pick up more spanish food recipes. Oh? Thats a good start actually. Knowing simple stuff like eggs or grilled cheese or uh. Chicken noodle soup are good baselines. I mean. Yeah same to a degree. I turn them on when im reading or walking/going places. Keeps me focused. Mag is good. Same with nightvale & alice isnt dead. Thats some solid luck kudos to everyone for not getting attacked by gulls. Id wonder about that too australia seems. Nice but very weird. Like their one prime minister who walked into the ocean & disappeared. Kudos to her for finding one she likes & gets along with enough to move there. Ah nothin like light hearted roasting among friends love that for you. Oh jeesh thats like my geometry teacher i had once. Dude would get distracted & then skip stuff he was supposed to help us learn. & still test us on it. Had a different math teacher help me sometimes because he was better at teaching. Hell yeah english teacher for the save. She sounds cool. I dont have time for meta so like. Why bother when if something works it works? Oh is honkai meta that hard? Do i need to focus on that on the way through the story? Oh thats way better like star rail having a pick your own on standard after x amount of pulls. What genshin's fate system could be if it was good. Hmm im not sure where even to start. I guess about himeko. Like her place in the story & what her story in hi3 is. Since i doubt its similar to in hsr. Hell she does have that vibe doesnt she? Chill piracy milf in a way. I hope she becomes playable. A thirty minite backstory? Must be a heck of a joke. Or because of all the polish nuance. Thanks! Ill have to see how she plays of course but personality wise she's good. Fontaine has killed it with interesting characters. Oh? Why the screen limit is it a doctors orders thing? & no worries about that life hit me hard so i understand. Ah thanks im getting to where gear matters a bit so ill need that luck. Need to up talents & such more though. Makes sense then but damn 4 pm as the other option? Both of those aren't super great. I live close to my work which is nice but i still have to wake up 2 hours before for early days because otherwise i wont wake i am not a morning person. 4 am? Hell mad respect for that i could never im barely a person some days at that hour i definitely wouldnt be. Oh nice congrats! On the exam & the history memes. At least your friends are becoming nerds with you. Important group activity. Im caught up on show & manga releases but i do need to read the spin off still when i can find it. Claire has protag rights to one name
AH ITS OK i just. Dont trust tumblr to function properly AJSKFJJH. but ah wishing you some time to chill soon. i understand tho since its the end of the first semester in my school so literally every teacher is trying to squeeze in as many tests as possible. yeah sjdkfkkskdf thats one thing everyone can agree on i suppose!! and it really is like that!! the stereotype about spanish people being seemingly All Extroverted is. much more true than i expected it to be. especially when compared to poland where everyone just more or less minds their own business. and not knowing the language that well proved to be less of an issue than i thought actually!! as in. i do Not speak spanish very well but through a series of trial and error combined with a lot of gesticulation i managed to communicate well enough. AND FOR REAL good lird. they were so right for that. and thanks!! i can more or less follow intermediate recipes so i can Survive more or less. and ahh thats fair, i unfortunately cant really listen to stuff outside my house as i only own headphones and not earphones and i dont like being Completely disconnected from the sound around me when im not at home. but very understandable. ANYWAY YEAH AUSTRALIA IS. A PLACE. i heard about that one prime minister yeah..... wild...... and yeah ajdkfjg me and my friends have been dissing each other for a Long time since i did the same thing in my previous school. always fun. AND AOUGH I FEEL YOU i have. a Lot of teachers like that. but eh im pretty decent at studying on my own [if i find the energy.....] so its managable. with math teachers too actually which is very funny bc last year we had this one teacher [we called her The Brick] who just. did not explain Anything just start doing exercises on the board and then be disappointed when we didnt understand anything. so obviously we were very happy to hear that were gonna have a different one EXCEPT??? SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COUNT???? LIKE GENUINELY SHE DOES SOMETHING ON THE BOARD THREE TIMES AND EACH TIME ITS SOLVED INCORRECTLY. IN A DIFFERENT WAY. ah well. but yes my english teacher is very epic. if nobody got me i know she got me can i get an amen. and exactly i agree with you!! as in. i like when theres a Big Number so i try to more or less build my chars but im not gonna wreck my sanity doing the same domain over and over again. the honkai meta however IS pretty hard so i try to keep up with that. but im much less excited for part 2 so when it drops im probs gonna focus on gearing the chars i already have instead of pulling the new ones since you can do anything with a good support and i have. pretty good supports [HERRSCHER OF TRUTH FOR THE WIN]. id generally recommend Not Completely Ignoring it yeah. tho i did and still managed to pull myself out, but it wasnt a pleasant experience [god. superstring dimension with ungeared teams. Augh.] so. yeah. AND RIGHT???? honkais meta may be painful but the gacha sure is not. I WILL GET INTO HIMEKOS STORY BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A SEC SO ILL JUST PUT IT UNDER A READMORE AND ALSO BEWARE OF VERY VERY VERY HEAVY SPOILERS. since im not exactly sure in what point of the story youre in. AND YEAH shes just. chillen. and the joke is [linguistic rant incoming] actually not That long [i just love hyperboles] although there is one joke that is Actually pretty hard to explain. anyway what i wanted to say is that she has ESSA which. first of all this is slang but its slightly outdated slang [which, of course, doesnt stop me from using it] and it just. well when you say someone has essa it means theyre like. chill in a cool way. cool in a chill way. but also essa itself can be used like. hm. for example if you manage to do sth, say, pass an exam, and you wanna say you did it and also it wasnt very hard?? you can just say NO I ESSA. its not quite translatable into english but needless to say i shall now begin using it. AND YEAH FR rare occurence where genshin made me actually care about male characters. as in. i love furina forever but neuvilette has actually proven to be someone i like as well.
[once again. tumblr forcing me to do a paragraph break] his autistic swag has captivated me. and yeah ajdfkgjsj as it turns out im both farsighted and have astigmatism so i should be limiting my computer usage...... its ok tho im trying to get into traditional art more and also studying is easier. so Its Joekay. ahhhhhh talents are such a pain to level up.... i just never have enough stuff for them seemingly. yeah my history classes have godawful times good lird. and we actually do less material bc of that since our teacher just refuses to do anything on the 6pm classes and just does twice the material in the monday block instead. i love my life. fair enough tbh, i picked up an ADDITIONAL 7am class bc its not mandatory and was close to disbanding but my classbestie really likes it so i joined to make it less likely to fall apart but ah. im regretting my decision. but at least the teacher is nice so. AND FOR REAL i do not understand where they get their energy from. or the dedication. ESPECIALLY for this godforsaken school. and ah thankies!!!! and good luck with catching up!!! i LOVE the manga sm omg...... im also very excited for the anime since the love scale arc is starting today and its my favorite........ big hype. and ah i started playing noita recently!!!! very fun i love games that are engineered to hurt me personally
ANYWAY. ONTO THE HIMEKO LORE
i Should mention that im not an expert on himeko lore BUT ill do my best hehehe. however i will reiterate that heavy spoilers ahead, especially for chapter 9.
SO himekos backstory is revealed in the alien space manga [which, admittedly, i read only because i found out shub niggurath appears by the end and i love niggurath] but it goes more or less like this. i wont go into detail about what Exactly happened because truth be told this is a pretty long manga and i simply do not have the motivation to do an Entire Summary but basically. when she was in university, her father, who was working for schicksal and also the host of an Actual Literal Alien kiiiiiind of went berserk [without her knowledge, of course] and welt had to Kill Him. which is pretty bad because they knew each other and were Kinda friends. anyway since her mother was already dead and she was infected with honkai at the time, this caused her to join schicksal! of course, the entire time kept in the dark about what exactly happened to her father. so when she was in schicksal, she was in the squad let by ragna lothbrok, who also ended up dying in action, and himeko ended up in saint freya. she also made bianka join schicksal! so anyway this is where we get to the main story. i wont go into chapter chiyou bc im gonna be honest i remember Nothing from chronicles. but she was kiana and the others from the main squad mentor, guiding them through their journey as valkyries. when kiana awoke as the herrscher of the void during the void arc, she was also Actively Dying from honkai poisoning [since valkyrie gear uses the honkai in it but she had pretty low natural resistance to it]. fu hua gives her an antidote that Could save her life but, during the final lesson, she uses it to temporarily seal the herrscher of the void so that kiana can live on. and dies in the process. i cry watching it to THIS DAY. but himeko remains as somewhat of an Afterlife Guide to the end of the series, appearing as flashbacks and visions in the chapter 11 ex cg, meteoric salvation, like an entire section of set tomorrow ablaze, everlasting flames, and graduation trip. to summarize, I LOVE HER AND WILL CRY ABOUT HER AGAIN. AOUGGGHH. she actually means so much to me you have no idea you have NO idea
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beauty-and-passion · 3 years ago
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What Eurovision 2021 taught us
1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)
Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.
We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.
But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:
The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.
The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.
On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.
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2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads
I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.
The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.
And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.
Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.
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3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision
Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?
Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.
Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.
The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.
So I want to give my full thank you to:
Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.
Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them
Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french
Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year
Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything
France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it
Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm
Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year
While my biggest biases go to:
Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.
Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!
Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!
Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.
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4. That we don't want Americans to play with us
For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.
I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.
And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.
And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.
And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.
The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.
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5. That we can lose like bosses
This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.
Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.
But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.
And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.
Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.
Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.
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6. That FUCK YOU JURY
Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.
The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.
I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.
Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.
And this year, the public's taste was flawless:
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Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.
There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.
Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.
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7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives
I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.
I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.
But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.
And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.
And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.
So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.
And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.
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8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)
The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.
And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.
Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.
And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.
And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.
Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.
What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.
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This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.
Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.
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9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners
It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.
The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.
The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.
But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.
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10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)
Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.
And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.
And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...
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stephspurs · 3 years ago
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A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction
Hi besties - here is part 6! We are officially halfway through this fic! Part 6 sees friendships blossom, situationships struggle, and cheeky intercontinental facetime chats! I hope you all are enjoying it as much as i am! I love hearing from you after you've read it! Love always, Steph xx
Part 6 | parte sesta
warnings; a couple of tugs on the heartstrings (in both the best and worst ways)
word count; 2301
writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.
next update; Friday 06/08 5pm AEST. Updates are three times/week (Monday, Wednesday & Friday)!
Tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex @obsesseds-world @abysshaven
link to fic masterlist here
Amelia had been back in Turin for a week or so, settling back into her city apartment had been more difficult than she anticipated as she was now alone for the first time in more than 2.5 months. It wasn’t very often, but sometimes she did miss the companionship of having a boyfriend. She missed someone to have breakfast with, to watch movies under the covers, to bring to official events. She still did all of these things, with a date, that was a friend, that sometimes maybe crept beyond the friendship zone and into the we shouldn’t be doing this but it feels so good zone.
Fede was someone that hung around Amelia like a fly to sugar. She enjoyed the attention most of the time. She appreciated his friendship, wisdom, talent and intellect. He could hold a conversation, talk to her about the arts, sell her the dream. She even didn’t mind it when they did cross that line a few times. Long afternoons and even longer nights spent wrapped up together in his bed sheets, her bathtub, his kitchen, her lounge room...you get the point. It was almost as though the two were in a committed relationship - committed being the operable word.
Fede wanted Amelia all to himself, and she was just that - available to him and for him whenever he wished, which was often. That’s what confused Amelia most, he didn’t want to label their situationship. He was happy to be ‘friends’ outside the four walls of their respective homes, but lovers when the curtains were drawn. She would maybe understand if he was elusive, always going out and on his phone but he wasn’t. He spent all of his time with her, there wouldn't have been enough hours left in the day if he separated those he spent with her from those he spent alone.
The Juventus players noticed this behaviour early on, seeing a noticeable difference in the way their number 33 paid attention to their tactical sessions. How he was turning up to the training centre early, with an extra piccolo for the english member of their coaching staff. Federico claimed he was helping Amelia brush up on her Italian, but having an Italian-born mother who insisted on sharing her culture with her kids, meant she was pretty much fluent in the language before arriving in Turin. His teammates weren’t stupid and neither was she.
This was the one area of her life where Amelia felt comfortable to go with the flow, she didn’t need to prepare or overthink anything to do with the charming Italian boy from Firenze. She let him take it at his own pace, she was in no need to rush. She let him take her home to meet his Nonna, she spent quality alone time with his dogs when he’s running late from training, and that’s a rare occasion being that it’s normally her there after him and he hangs back to drive them both home.
Everything was progressing at his pace, and the moment Amelia just asks for some clarification on the situation, he would get visibly stressed. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. And for a long time he could, he had Amelia's attention and affection at Juve, he even had it during their european campaign. At the end of the tournament, when they all broke up for their summer breaks, Fede conveniently waited until their final round in the shower, if you know what i mean, before pulling her into bed and having a heart to heart with her.
Amelia thought that she was finally getting the clarification that she was after, which in a way she did. Fede spoke whimsical words about how she makes him feel wanted and understood, and in turn he told her about the affects he knew he had on her. It was a conversation that would turn Shakespeare to a pile of rose petals. In the end, he told her that he wanted to continue what they had just how they had been doing it. And so, that's exactly how they left it. No labels. Friends outside of the four walls of their apartments. That was all Amelia needed to be able to enjoy her family holiday in Mykonos, guilt free, not missing the man that became the equivalent of her shadow.
The constant company she had in Mykonos compared to what she was experiencing in Turin made her more eager to return to work than she had previously. Of course, there are group chats and facetimes and phone calls throughout the days that kept her occupied, but she was missing the boys and her brother. Her friendship with Kyle was back to its old ways, memes being shared across the european continent, long phone calls to talk about their problems. Kyle knew all about the Fede x Amelia situation, Amelia having given him the sparknotes version over a wine filled zoom session one evening that same week. Their pre-seasons hadn’t gone back yet so they were able to indulge in a bit of vino, guilt free.
She was surprised about the constant contact, or lack thereof, that some of the boys had maintained with her. Ben Chilwell hadn’t once messaged or instagrammed the girl, despite being active in their group chats and liking her holiday pictures on instagram. He even made the rookie error of liking a picture so far down on her instagram, there was no way to explain his need for being there. She messaged him a couple times, assuming he just got busy with whatever he was doing, but there was radio silence on the other end.
A friendship she was surprised had blossomed so well, considering their flirtatious start to life, was with that of Jack Grealish and Tyrone Mings. There had been more facetimes than she could count between herself and the two villa boys. Whether it was Tyrone telling her about a book he had finished that he thought she would enjoy, or Jack asking her how to cook dinner, maybe even them both cooking dinner together - of course she had to have a later dinner to be able to do so, with the time difference and all...and there was no way Jack was going to be having dinner an hour early “athlete’s schedule an all tha ya’know” he would smirk down the camera, brummie accent on full display.
She met Tyrone through Jack, he facetimed the girl for outfit advice one night before going out with the tall defender and the pair hit it off. Both giving Jack the fashion advice he needed but didn’t want to hear (a Gucci two piece tracksuit set is never the answer). Tyrone immediately noticed a certain attention to detail being applied by his fellow number 10, to the tactics that were being put forward by the girl that was far too good at her job. His training was improving, his set pieces having a certain amount of flare. There was also a lack of attention being paid from Jack to other girls. Instead, much preferring to spend the evening at home watching the same netflix series as Amelia so that he could discuss it with her the next day, or better yet, at the same time.
As pre-season had commenced, Amelia had been applying the same tactics that she developed (and that obviously worked) throughout the European campaign to her Juventus club level. Having faith in the four men that were with her and the Azzurri to ensure that their other teammates were completing them accurately. It appears that her skill was widely recognised, having a few missed calls and voice messages left from English telephone numbers that she was yet to listen to. In all seriousness, she was nervous to listen to them. Worried that they would make her an offer she couldn’t refuse. A wise person once told her that you shouldn’t make any decisions whilst you're at the top of your happy, or the bottom of your sad. You should make important decisions when your life is at its constant. It's very easy to accept things that you wouldn’t normally when you're at the peak of your mood, just as easy as it is to forget the bigger picture when you're down. Who knew Kyle Walker was so wise.
“So, i’ve got a bit of a dilemma” She spoke down to her facetime camera one evening in early August.
“Hit me with it darlin’” Jack spoke back to her, getting his dinner utensils out so that they could cook together again. He didn’t like not being prepared for her tutorial, he got stressed if she added pepper and his pepper was still in his pantry. Each afternoon, when it was agreed upon what they would be cooking together that evening, she sent him a list of what he would need out on his bench to complete the meal.
“I’ve missed a few calls from English teleco numbers this last week or so”
“Ok? Do you think they’re scams? You’re beautiful Amelia but I don't think it's actually an Egyptian prince on the other end that wants to offer you 250k in exchange for your paypal info…”
“Ha ha very funny - that was one time ok and he wasn’t a Prince, he was claiming to be an investment banker and wanted to help me start up my portfolio-ANYWAY JACK I WAS 16! God just forget I even told you that story” Amelia barked down facetime, now pausing what she was doing to point at the British boy with her wooden spoon, the same way her mother would to her when she was being cheeky. All she was met with was boisterous laughter.
“Nah i’m only joking, continue with your story.”
“I began to listen to the start of one and it was a talent acquisition manager for one of the premier league clubs, offering me a job” Amelia said as she continued to stir her pasta. Tonight they were making penne arrabiata. She received no reply from the boy. Looking down to her camera to check the call was still active, she saw him looking at the camera with a serious expression.
“Are you going to tell me what the problem is before I start to get excited that you’re going to be living within driving distance from me? Oh god i’ve just realised - was it from Villa? You could be even closer than I imagined” Jack started to ramble, getting over excited with the prospect of being so close to the girl that he could physically hang out with her, instead of virtually.
“Jack calm down, I didn't listen long enough to find out what club he was from. I have 5 more just like it waiting in my inbox.”
“What's the problem then Mils?” Jack could see the girl had apprehension written all over her face.
“I’m just nervous that they're going to tell me everything I've always wanted to hear. That they’re going to make me an offer I can't refuse and I have to leave my life here.” Their pasta was ready to be dished up now, so the girl poured herself a glass of red wine and got herself comfy on her couch.
“Come on, play the messages and i’ll listen to them with you, be your voice of reason,” Jack offered the girl.
“I should probably call Tyrone, you’re just going to reject every club that isn’t Villa.” she laughed before switching facetime to her laptop, moving to the floor of her lounge room and resting her elbows on her coffee table. With the phone near the screen of her mac, she began to play the messages.
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“Hi Amelia, Shaun here from Newcastle United-” “As if you’d waste your talents at Newcastle”
“Jack! That's horrible! At least i know i already look good in the black and white striped kit”
“No, not happening. Next”
“Amelia, Hope you don’t mind but I got your number off of one of my players who knows you. Long story short, we have a position here are Arsenal” “Bloody Bukayo, needs to keep his silky mitts off ya”
“Jack, give it a rest or i’m calling Tyrone”
“Amelia White, Greg here from Aston Villa Football Club” “Get in Greggles!! That's it, stop listening, you’re taking this one”
“I need to listen to them all Jack”
“So, you’ll consider Villa?”
“I’ll consider all of them”
“You’d really go to Arsenal? Aren’t you a Spurs supporter? Shocking stuff”
“Ok maybe not all of them”
“Ciao Amelia, Mario here from Chelsea Football Club - I’ve heard nothing but good things about you. We could really use you here at Chelsea next season. Give me a call when you get a spare moment to discuss the opportunity”
“What? Nothing to say to this one, Jack?”
“Nah, sounds ok. You deserve to showcase your skills at a big club like Chelsea. And besides, you’ll have Jorginho there to look after you. Come on, next one”
“It’s the last one actually”
“Amelia, we’ve got a fantastic opportunity here at Manchester City for someone with your skill set. It would be a massive advantage to have your tactical insight to the game coupled alongside the fantastic leadership we’ve already got at the club”. “Holy shit, Pep called you himself? Kyle Walker really knows how to pull strings when he wants something”
“I am overwhelmed”
“Hey, you don’t need to make any decisions right now. Sleep on it, talk it over with your family. Speak to Jorgi, I know you’re close with him. And just let me know when you decide to pick Villa so i can start house huntin’ for ya”
“Night Jack, speak soon”
“Sleep tight darlin’, speak to ya tomorrow”
Part 7. | settima parte
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themaribatpit · 3 years ago
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Jasonette July Day 20: Then Perish
Written by: The Maribat Pit @jasonette-july-event​ Prompt: Then Perish (Part 1) Rating: M (violence, minor character deaths) A/N: We wanted to finish Jasonette July with a bang.  The second half will be posted tomorrow for the Saturday Challenge.  We’ve appreciated all your comments and kind words, we really do read every one. It genuinely means a lot to us and encourages us to continue writing together.  As a fandom you have been nothing but kind and supportive, and we enjoy bringing you fics great and small with a wide variety of genres, dynamics, and iterations.  Also blame DC fanboy for the memes in this fic. Marinette loved to travel, she had traveled all over the world from New York to Shanghai. Today, she traveled with her parents to Gotham City to visit her parents' friends, whom they had not seen in many years. Sabine was initially afraid to visit Gotham City, due to its crime rate and ever-growing list of criminals. Tom reassured his wife, saying that his big stature would scare any would-be criminal from harming them, that the trip would be short and they would visit Metropolis afterwards. Marinette wore the Ladybug Miraculous, just in case something were to happen. As the family got off the taxi at Park Row, everyone felt something was off. "Park Row really has...changed." Thomas muttered. Sabine held on to both her husband and her daughter, "I think we should leave." she said. Soon shadows began appearing around the corner, then came the yelling, and soon after came the gunshots. Thomas grabbed his wife and daughter and ran to find shelter from a hail of bullets. Marinette looked back to see many civilians, men, women and children caught in the middle of this gang war.  She needed to be a hero, her father could take care of her mother, she needed to save those in danger. She freed herself from her father's grasp and ran behind a corner, she whispered "spots on" and transformed into Ladybug. Diving and flipping across streaking bullets everywhere, she flung her yo-yo to drag any unfortunate bystanders into an abandoned building. While in a building with innocent civilians, she peeked her head out the window to see a monstrous man.  Wearing a blood red helmet and wielding two pistols, he systematically killed everyone before him. His flips and kicks were graceful yet brutal, the cries of pain and pleas for mercy made her shudder. She couldn't fight him, no, she was afraid to. It would be best to find her family, she did all she could and got bystanders to safety. She quietly transformed back into Marinette and went to look for her family. She ran back to where she last saw them, she scoured the streets shouting "Maman! Papa!" hoping that using her French would help her parents find and identify her. She soon ran into the Red Beast, as she began to turn and run back before she saw the two people at his feet. “<No, no no no, please god no.>” she whispered to herself, tears building in her eyes. There lay her parents, in a pool of their blood with bullet holes between their eyes. Marinette dropped to her knees, silently crying. The Red Hood either didn't see her, or chose to spare her and decided to walk away. Marinette ran to her parents, grabbing them both and shaking them. "<Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me>” she wept. Later, she was picked up by the GCPD. They escorted her on the flight back to Paris along with the remains of her parents. When she arrived, she was approached by the Aide Sociale à L'enfance (ASE).  They told her that she'll be staying at a nearby orphanage until after her parents' funeral. Then she would then be sent off to live with her only remaining relative, her Great-Uncle Wang in Shanghai. On the night before the funeral, Marinette was unable to sleep.  She curled her legs to her chest while she sat on the mattress.  She has spent the past few days researching the mysterious Red Hood, crime boss and self-proclaimed Prince of Gotham.  She read article after article of his meteoric rise to power, first conquering Black Mask, then The Penguin. Nightmares plagued her whenever she closed her eyes, she saw the Red Hood tower over her parent's lifeless bodies, covered in their blood. She was worried about being sent off to a foreign country tomorrow evening, while barely even speaking any Mandarin. All the while knowing that once she is on that flight to Shanghai, her parent's killer would without a doubt walk free. Morning comes, yet Marinette still thinks of what she should do. Could she really go to Shanghai to start her life anew, not knowing the language and allowing her parents’ killer to go on unpunished? At the funeral, while standing over her parents’ graves, she remained silent. The priest, ASE agents and her friends all came to pay their respects. Each of her friends approached her to give their sympathies, but she did not listen to a word they said. The Red Hood weighed heavily on her mind, and she made her fateful decision. To run, run and never look back. She had prepared a backpack containing the Miracle box with all the Miraculous, along with a few essential supplies and money. She turned into Multimouse to sneak on board a passenger aircraft to make her way to Gotham City.  Jason knew, better than Batman, that fighting crime sometimes meant getting your hands dirty.  What started as a petty squabble between two rival gangs grew into a bloodbath.  He missed Roy at times like these, Artemis and Bizarro were still missing, but he held out hope that they would one day return to this Earth. A teenage girl with an impressively sturdy yo-yo had burst onto the scene, trying to get civilians to safety.  He was a bit too preoccupied with the battle to get a good look at the girl.  Knowing Bruce, the next time he’d see her, she’d be under his wing.  Sadly, there were two civilians that neither of them could save, a large, burly looking man and a tiny woman.  The person who shot them with frightening accuracy had got away, moments later a teenage girl had arrived on the scene.  There was a brief flash of fear in her eyes when she saw him, and she would have just scurried away if only he hadn’t been at the very spot where her parents lay dead.  The girl was inconsolable as she fell to her knees and wept, pleading with them in French.  Red Hood walked away, thinking it would be best to leave her to grieve.  There wasn’t a whole lot he could say in English that would make her feel any better, never mind in French. He watched from a distance as the GCPD arrived to pick up the pieces, Red Hood watched from the shadows as police officers and an interpreter tried to get the girl’s side of the story.  From what he gathered, the girl’s name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng and her family owned a bakery in Paris.  Her next of kin was a relative in Shanghai, and it sounded like the best option for her would be to go and live there.   The plan was to ship her and her parents’ bodies back to Paris, and let child services take it from there.  He would have probably told her to get as far away from Gotham as possible, away from the clutches of a certain someone who was also orphaned in Crime Alley.  He saw her cradle what looked like a small pink doll to her face as she wept, before he turned and walked away. A week later, Jason had a break in the case.  This was all caused by some low-level members of the Falcone and Maroni families continuing their decades-old battle.  As far as everyone knew, the crime families swiftly executed the men responsible and went about their business.  Two crime families were unable to keep their lackeys in check, and now the people who weren’t lucky enough to be whisked away by Yo-Yo Girl, were now either dead or wishing they were.   He thought back to poor little Marinette, wondering where she was now. Bruce confronted him at the Iceberg lounge shortly after the incident, to which Jason explained that the perp had got away.   He had killed people before, and that wasn’t stopping anytime soon, after all it wasn’t that long ago that he tried to kill the Penguin.  “This may surprise you Bruce, but the Red Hood isn’t the only one who uses guns in Gotham '' he snapped.  There were some lines that even he did not cross, lines that he had drawn for himself. Judging by the accuracy of the gunshots, this was no accident.  Their daughter was probably starting a new life, probably on the other side of the world.  Still, he wished he could have said something to the girl, a simple “Hey, it’s gonna be all right” probably would have sufficed.  Little did he know that Marinette was making her return to Gotham City.  She would have her revenge on the Red Hood, and this time she had nothing to fear and nothing to lose. After her very uncomfortable 10 hour flight from Paris to Gotham City in the cargo hold, Multimouse quietly sneaked out of the crowded airport without alerting anyone. Marinette wandered around Chinatown, thinking of her next step. She was thinking about how she would have to go through the city with a fine tooth comb to search for a lead, likely starting small with his men in the streets.  Before she could put the earrings back in her backpack, Tikki begged her to reconsider what she was doing.  “Please Marinette, you need time to heal, to grieve,” she pleaded, but Marinette didn’t need the powers of healing, luck and creation. If and when she encountered the Red Hood, she wanted to bring him death, misfortune and destruction.  After all, that was exactly what he had brought her.  With a stroke of luck, she overheard someone getting a beatdown.  "You get your ass outta here, this is Red Hood's turf. If you wanna sell that shit, you gotta give the boss his cut."  Marinette whispered "Plagg, claws out" and transformed into Lady Noire, before sneaking up behind one of the Red Hood’s men. He released the person he was beating, and chased him out the alleyway.  She took this opportunity to swing her staff,  hitting the back of his neck and sending him face first into the ground. He immediately tried to stand up, as he stood on wobbly legs he took out his knife from his jacket. "Oh shit, Catwoman?!" he yelled. Lady Noire used her staff to sweep him off his feet and slammed her staff onto his face.  "Where is the Red Hood?" she growled.  "Screw you bitch!" the goon retorted. Lady Noire had a feeling that he wouldn’t tell her the location of the Red Hood, so she decided to try a different approach. "Fine then, why don't you give your boss this simple message…" Before she could finish her sentence, she heard the telltale click of a gun being loaded. She turned around and started spinning her staff, creating a grey shield to deflect the storm of bullets that were being fired at her.  She moved her hands at a rapid pace, and frantically pushed back against the hail of bullets.  As the bullet storm subsided she looked up and saw, up on the fire escape, was the Red Hood with an assault rifle. The Red Hood casually tossed his gun aside and asked "So, what's this message you have for me, Catwoman?" He gracefully did a forward flip and landed in a crouch.  "Wait a minute..." he said, the first thing he noticed was that this person was tiny, 4’11 or maybe 5’ on a good day. Her eyes were a bright acid green with dark slits like a real cat’s pupils.  "You're not Catwoman, you're too short to be her, for one thing.” he remarked “also she usually has a whip instead of a staff, who are you?" Lady Noire gritted her teeth, "You killed my family" she answered with a low growl. "Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down Kitten?" Red Hood's taunts made her snap.  She screamed "YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!" The Red Hood stared at her, as he crossed his arms.  "I don't even know who you are, what's your beef with me?" He asked, Lady Noire lunged at the Red Hood with her staff, she swung wildly to try and hit him.  He dodged most of her strikes with ease, “Is that the best you’ve got?  You’re gonna have to try harder than that.”  Where she might have lacked in skill, she made up for in determination.  She wasn’t pulling any punches, he had to give her that.  He caught the staff under his arm, and punched Lady Noire with his free arm.  As he went on the offensive, he slapped her staff aside, and came at her with a series of punches and kicks.   “So, what do you want Kitten? Money? Jewels? A very big ball of string?”  he joked.  “All I want is revenge,” she spluttered. “Get in line Kitten, you’re in the city that runs on vengeance” he retorted. Marinette was lucky that the suit gave her enhanced speed, strength and endurance. She always loved how the Lady Noire suit felt a lot lighter compared to the Ladybug suit. Though she shuddered to imagine what her opponent would do with this power.    He raised his leg to end his combination with a forceful downward kick, Lady Noire raised her staff up to a horizontal block to stop the kick. Upon contact with the kick, the staff split into two, and then Lady Noire launched into her counter attack. She was striking the Red Hood with a flurry of blows with both halves of her staff.  "Escrima sticks too? Looks like we have a Nightwing fan here” he smirked under the mask; this new girl was just full of surprises.  He brought his arms to the sides of his head in a defensive posture, blocking the onslaught of strikes from the escrima sticks.  Red Hood then grabbed Lady Noire by the back of her head, placing her in a Thai clinch. He launched a powerful knee to her face and sent her reeling back. He drew his pistols and fired a torrent of bullets at her. Lady Noire had to dodge, weave and use her staff to deflect incoming bullets. One bullet even grazed her cheek. She then pointed her staff at the Red Hood and extended it with so much force it slammed him against the wall of a nearby building. Without giving him any breathing room, she then retracted the staff. She launched herself towards him and then dropkicked his face straight into the wall. His helmet cracked against the tremendous pressure. "It's now or never” she thought, as she cast Cataclysm and swiped at one half of the Red Hood’s helmet. She saw the helmet dissolve and reveal the target beneath.  She noticed that underneath the helmet he wore a red domino mask, not unlike the one she usually wore.  She would have time to think about how overly dramatic that was later, as she used her other hand to pick up the knife on the ground that the other goon left behind.  She jumped on top of the Red Hood, “Now perish!” she cried out as she thrusted the blade towards the exposed part of his face. Red Hood recovered quickly and caught her hand holding the blade. As the two struggled for the knife, Lady Noire tried to swipe at him with Cataclysm again.  Suddenly, she felt the power of 50,000 volts coursing through her, as the Red Hood activated the taser hidden in his chest piece.  She powered through, running purely on anger, grief and adrenaline. She was only able to struggle for about a minute, before passing out from the pain.  Red Hood flipped Lady Noire’s unconscious body aside, before he took off his helmet to inspect the damage. "The hell?." he pondered, "So, indestructible staff that can do double duty as a shield, and the ability to disintegrate things with one touch. Let's find out who you really are."  He slowly stood up and looked down at her unconscious body. He tried to peel away her domino mask, yet it would not come off. He tugged on the mask, even to the point of lifting the unconscious girl off the ground. He released the mask, and let the body drop with a small thud.  The Red Hood began talking to himself "She either superglued the mask on or it’s something else. Considering all that she can do, I'd say 80% chance it's magic and 20% a lantern. Either way a 100% pain in my ass".  He heard a small beeping noise and gingerly lifted her hand up off the floor.  As it emitted black and green energy, he noticed that she had a ring on.  The beeping came from a small picture of a paw print, which was missing a few pads.  If she was a lantern, that ring was going to run out of charge any moment now.  He took out his phone and called the Iceberg Lounge. He requested that they send for a van to pick him up and his new guest.   He requested that the Su Sisters get her cleaned up and ready. He needed to find out who sent her and who she worked for. He took out the special handcuffs that Batman designed when dealing with metahumans. As he walked towards Lady Noire about to cuff her, he heard some more beeping, followed by a bright light surrounding her.  Her suit and mask disappeared, leaving behind a small girl in pastel pink clothes who was probably no older than 15 or 16.  Her long braid changed back into a couple of shoulder-length pigtails, and she had a pink backpack on her back.  Jason looked inside the bag, there were a few sets of clothes, a wallet and an antique Chinese jewelry box.  He wondered if that ring was just one of many tools in her arsenal.  Jason's eyes widened, he recognised her as the girl he saw a few weeks ago when the turf war in Crime Alley broke out.  "What’s she doing here?" he said to himself aloud, “ Idiot” he muttered. He remembered following the girl and her GCPD escort to make sure she boarded her flight back to Paris.  She was supposed to be with her remaining family. Yet she came back to, no, ran away to Gotham City.  All for revenge.  He checked her wallet and saw the name printed on it, he sighed, this just confirmed that she was the same girl. When she had her revenge, what would she do then?  He wasn’t the undisputed master of thinking things through, but even he thought she was a fool to come back here.  Gotham City didn’t have the best track record dealing with orphans.  He knew this from personal experience, but there was that time where many were rounded up and sent upstate to juvie, for the crime of trying to survive on the streets.  He would have been in the same position, had it not been for his own fateful encounter in Crime Alley. He shuddered to think what her other option would be in a place like Gotham City, becoming a Robin.  Part of the reason he wanted her out of Gotham was so that Bruce wouldn’t get any ideas about taking her in.  When the car arrived, he scooped up the girl in his arms and carried her towards it.  Marinette woke up with her heart beating frantically in her chest, the first thing she saw was a bright light.  She was dead, she had to be, the last thing she remembered was confronting the Red Hood and now he had killed her.  She slowly sat up, she looked down to find that someone had changed her clothes, she was wearing light blue pajamas.  She started to look around, to her left there was a large floor to ceiling window where she could see a city at night with bright twinkling lights.  On the table next to her was the Miracle box, she quickly grabbed the box and looked through it. She gave a sigh of relief when she saw that all the Miraculous she brought with her were still there.   Suddenly, Marinette heard someone clear their throat.  At the foot of the bed, stood a rather large woman who had a bundle of clothes in her hand.  Next to her was a blonde woman with pink highlights who had a tray of food. “Oh good, you’re finally awake” the large woman said gruffly, she set the clothes down on the edge of the bed.  The blonde girl set a tea tray down in front of her, along with a couple of pastries.  Marinette’s heart sank at the sight of the croissants, they reminded her of her parents and their bakery. “Eat up and get dressed, the boss wants to see you later” the blonde woman told her, before skipping to the larger woman’s side.  Just as the two were about to leave, Marinette piped up, “Um, where am I?” she asked, “Who is your boss?” “You’re in the Iceberg Lounge in Gotham City”, the large woman told her gruffly.  “The name’s Suzie, this is one of my sisters, Candy. Our boss is the owner.”  Marinette gave an awkward wave as they left, and Candy returned it with a more cheerful one.    She took a bite out of the croissant, it tasted cold and dry. However, if she was going to defeat the Red Hood, she’d need all her strength. She put Plagg’s ring back in the box and reached for Ladybug’s earrings; she needed a new tactic.  When Tikki appeared in front of her, she also quickly looked around the room before looking back at Marinette with a concerned look on her face. “I couldn’t do it,” Marinette explained “he managed to stop me and I ended up back here”. Tikki’s eyes were sympathetic as Marinette held her closer to her face, “Are you sure you still want to go through with this?” Tikki asked.  “For now, I have to get changed and go upstairs to meet the boss.  Maybe he’s the one who found me after the fight was over” Marinette theorized as she gave Tikki the cookie from the tray.  While Tikki quietly nibbled at it, Marinette stood up and walked over to the edge of the bed.  Inside the small bundle of clothes were a simple white blouse and black skirt. They were a little big, she would probably hem it if she had her sewing machine.    Moments later, a tall woman with dark hair led Marinette into the penthouse, a large room with a desk in the corner.   A tall man in a suit stood with his back towards the door, overlooking the sparkling city skyline.  She slowly stepped inside, looking around the room as she walked towards the man.  “Um hi, who are you?” Marinette asked as she apprehensively walked towards him.  She couldn’t help but feel small in that grand high-ceiling room. “I am the owner of the Iceberg Lounge,” he explained. “I guess the question I should be asking is…” he turned towards her and Marinette saw he had a domino mask over his eyes and a red half mask covering his nose and mouth, “who are you?” He threw something at her and she caught it.  She looked down and saw the Red Hood’s helmet, half of it looked as though someone tried to tear the metal open.  Then she remembered everything she had researched about the Red Hood, and the fight that took place not long after she arrived back in Gotham. “You…” she hissed. To be continued...
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dantelionwishes · 3 years ago
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imaginary knha fandom masterpost for my big four....................
from @the-moon18
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ok my mind is blank rn of out pure fear you jist caused to every single one of us but don't think your teachers are going to be spared from shit like deku////might or deku////zawa or sato's quirk being used in a lot of smut fanfics
GOODBYE IM LOOKING AWAY FROM THE TEACHER/STUDENT FICS dude fr 100% can see people using sato's quirk as a whole ass ao3 tag in itself like oh you wanna see a character get lewded? [slaps sato's tag] this thing can contain so much explicit fics on ao3 and art on rule 34 HAHSAHJHSHRJDFJ he would be the go-to top for rule 34 artists thirsting on their fav students.......sigh
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@smol-hibiscus BRO IVE GOTTEN SOME OF MY OCS WHITE WASHED IN THE PAST AS SOMEONE BROWN IM SHUDDERING HJFRJGHJHDFHH WHERE IS THEIR MELATONIN!!!!!!
hikari uwu soft girl ray im LOSING IT + say hello to makoto being the fic's prompt starter from her revealing someones secret leading to character A breakdown leading to character B following them and cheering them up following up with them probably adding the explicit tag on the fic following up with the entire cast probably ganging up on makoto forcing her to apologize + SATO WE ARE LOOKING AWAY + FUCK HAHHJDHRHJD THE OOPS HAHA!! SWITCHED TO MY MOTHER LANGUAGE WHILE IM SPEAKING TEEHEE
(but ok as someone who is trilingual that does happen sometimes but its not a "HAHA OH NO!! WHOOPSIE MY LANGUAGE HAHOHO" its more like a "fuck shit my bad uhm right the uh. english. whats the fuckin,,,,tip of my tongue word,,,")
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@gatortopia THE CHAT FICS IM LOSING MY MIND HAHSHAHHGHJRH I CAN SEE IT ALREADY MY MIND WOULD BREAK IF I HAD TO READ THT SHIT and maniac pixie dream GOBLIN IM YELLING HAHHRGRHJ can tell you that she does drag moa to do a bunch of stuff but I think you'd be surprised with how fun makoto is to hang out with without it being so fuckin chaotic or cringe
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@themostmagicalmoose HONESTLY....I JUST HAVE TO LOOK BACK TO 17 YEAR OLD ME TO SEE WHAT KIND OF HORRORS A BNHA FAN WOULD DO TO SATO <////3 uh oh watch out!! UNTOUCHED VILLAIN ARC BACKSTORY HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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@mousierat ive said it and will say it again: HES GOING TO BE AN ALMOST 100% EXPLICIT TAG ON AO3 AND RULE 34 its like the hentai mob character used to fuck random waifus but for knha
from @zedthebuggy
Sato: someone did mention the teacher X student with sato already, emboldened by his quirk, so there is that ofc, will not name anyone for pretty obvious reasons but it would definitely happen. gets the whole strict teacher persona given to him and literally nothing else outside of that hell universe. That's it, you're mean strict teacher now buh bye. "Sato's class is such a drag UGH he grades everything sOOoOOOo harshly </3"
everyone say hello to aizawa 2.0!! I WANT TO KEEP SAYING THAT HES A STRICT TEACHER BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HE IS NOT AIZAWA 2.0 I HAVE TO KEEP TRYING TO MAKE CONTENT THAT SHOWCASES HES NOT SCARY COS STRICT =/= SCARY TEACHER!!!!!! hes just a super responsible teacher who looks scary </3
makoto: Hyperactive, moody gamer girl who's way too touchy, gets any basic respect for personal space privileges revoked. Oh, and on those revoked privileges, no more they/them for you!! A shitty mean girl lesbian like Moa, and probably cheats on her for any moa x reader angst fics. So yeah, gets the fem grape boy treatment (forgot his name, don't care to think about it either)
IM YELLING AT THE NO MORE THEY/THEM AND THE FEM GRAPE BOY TREATMENT HJFHJRJHFD IM LOSING MY MIND ESPECIALLY AT THE CHEATS ON HER FOR THE MOA X READER FICS JHDGHJRHJHKFHFG IMAGINE MAKING EITHER OF THE CANON "ANGRY LESBIANS" BREAK UP WITH THE OTHER FOR THE SAKE OF A DIFFERENT SHIP OR X Y/N........watch the misinterpretation of makoto being open to confess she likes any girl/s into "GRAPE BOY 2.0"
miss me: Fandom does not like her uhhhhh.... just imagining the debates on if she's girl vs boy 🤢 and as with any disability, if it's not just memed on or an angst plot point, it is completely erased and irrelevant, :heart: :smile:. probably gets the hero version of queer coded villain treatment, and/or wouldn't be surprised by any Secretly the Villain fics with her.
THE DUDEBROS AND FUJOSHIS SAYING SHES A BOY I CAN SEE IT ARHGHHTHFGHJ "hes an okama which in japanese means hes a boy crossdressing as a girl!" "we love to see boys wearing skirts!!" "there's no way an anime would write a trans character!!" and im so sorry but there are ppl out there who would use her disability as a kink im literally looking away........AND FGHJHRJHJDF FROM HER VILLAIN BACKGROUND YIKESSSSSS LOOKING AWAY EVEN MORE I would love to discuss more but I dont have enough knowledge on queer coded villain treatment </3
hikari: PURE INNOCENT UWU GIRL!!!! NAGA GO AWAY!!!! LESBIANS GO HOME SHE'S HETEROSEXUAL!!!!!!!! LEAVE THE INNOCENT CINNAMON ROLL ALONE!!!!!! UwU~~~ probably gets shipped with Hoshizawa because i want to insert my oc here somewhere you still get red x blue, tall soft innocent beans, and two soft friends discovering the world and overcoming their flaws (severe anxiety little shy & autismbeing weird & sensitive) together very heterosexually!! a lot of soft profile themes with her everywhere. Literally just the purest sweetest softest uwu bean to protecc.
IM GONNA YELL UR ABSOLUTELY RIGHT IMAGINE PPL SAYING SHES HETEROSEXUAL COS SHES TURNING DOWN ALL THE GIRLS CONFESSING TO HER LIKE?!?!?!?? SHES BI-CURIOUS AND AROMANTIC!!!!! also I can see the love triangles forming twilight style she cannot choose which girl she wants and all her suitors fight </3 AND HELLO HOSHIZ HJFHRGHJFJD WOW RED/BLUE HET SHIP GO BRRRRR SWEET CINNAMON ROLL PROTECT HER!!!!
from an anon:
I-IMAGINE THE CENSORSHIP/EDITS THOUGH...sato and toshinori? GOOD TO SEE TWO BEST FRIENDS LIVING TOGETHER! :)
NOOOOO NOT THE CENSORSHIP THEY RLY SAID [HISTORIAN VOICE] THEY WERE TWO VERY GOOD FRIENDS
miss me? either given HYUGE HONKA HONKAS or turned into mr me, no in-between! perhaps given sexcy bikini top while at it
YOURE KILLING ME WITH THE HYUGE HONKA HONKAS DUDE TITS OUT TYPE CHARACTER WHETHER ITS FOR BIG BOOB DUDEBRO LOVERS OR FUJOSHI SISTERS WITH THEIR MALE PECS
MAKOTO YOU BEST HAND OVER THOSE THEY/THEM PRONOUNS RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME! also another pair of besties, this time with our resident sheep girl! kawaii!
AGAIN!! ANOTHER THEY/THEM GENDER THEFT CASE!! AND JUST TWO VERY GOOD FRIENDS TEEHEE GAL PALS!!
hikari?? dying?? no, no! she just faints from exertion, adds to her helpless uwu factor! also will you look at that - she's suddenly paler than her mom!
now IM DYING INSTEAD OF HIKARI IM GJFRHHFG FAINTING HGHJGJH hELPLESS UWU FACTOR HELPPPPPP PLS THE WHITEWASHING PALER THAN HER MOM IM CRYINGHJGHG PPL DEFENDING THAT HIKARI SHOULD GET HER SKIN COLOR FROM HER MOM INSTEAD OF HER DADDDD
from an anon:
did you ask for fandom slander for your ocs? no? TOO BAD /lh VERY, VERY BAD TAKES AHEAD! ( i feel like i've committed sacrilege )
sato? oh you know - his quirk would be his defining (only) trait and the amount of gross fics?? oh MAN 😶 they'd turn him into this creepy ass yandere mf?? IGNORE WHATEVER GOOD QUALITIES HE HAS, HE'S NOW UNHINGED HORNBALL WITH ONLY ONE PURPOSE: TO HUMP #1 baby daddy (derogatory) material for those fic writers i AM CRYING AS I TYPE THIS
IM FUCKING YELLING HE WOULD HE TOTALLY WOULD BE A YANDERE IM SO SORRY JGHRJHDFGHDJ IM HAVING FLASHBACKS TO BETA SATO NOOOOOOOOOOOO TEACHER WHO?????? SATO IS A HORNY POSSESSIVE YANDERE BASTARD WHOSE ONLY PURPOSE IS SO B R E E D
miss me? A DISABLED TRANS WOMAN FROM GERMANY. that's it. that's the character! that's how she introduces herself <3 (did i mention that she's trans and from germany?) get ready for heated discourse on how PROBLEMATIC it is to have DISABLED TRANS WOMAN be ex-villain??? (conveniently ignoring whatever character arc and growth she may have experienced, we all know any rep needs to be 100% 'good' or else you will be CANCELLED!!) discourse. discourse as far as my eyes can see.
WHATS THAT??? TRANS?? DISABLED?? FROM GERMANY WHERE THOSE VERY BAD PEOPLE ARE FROM?? AND SHE WAS A VILLAIN????? MY GOD!!!! SHES TOTALLY A VILLAIN HIJACKING UA!!!! WHOEVER KNOWS WHAT SHE HAS UP HER SLEEVE HER QUIRK MAY BE DODGING BUT GOD KNOWS SHE CANT DODGE THE HOT TAKES THE FANDOM HAS FOR HER
hikari? rich crybaby! uwufy her to the point where she's constantly trembling and sobbing and y/n reader has to protect and inspire her to become a hero! (family WHO, y/n is hikari's only motivation!!) she'd make for a WONDERFUL angst fodder to fuel SOMEONE ELSES story! die tragically so they could have their big moment - and generally be robbed of any agency and personality <3 (also 'is this a pigeon?' meme because she's just SO!sheltered!!)
PERSONALITY TRAIT? SHELTERED! TOTALLY DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE HER BABY HAND AND DRAG HER ALONG TO SHOW HER THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD COS SHES SUFFERED SO MUCH Y/N TAKE IT AWAY <3 SHE TOTALLY CANT BECOME A HERO HERSELF SHE HAS NO SORT OF CONFIDENCE SO SHE HAS TO RELY ON OTHERS TO PROTECT HER!!!! my god the amount of angsty death fics she would have too I--
makoto? oh, a pest! whether they would be adored (in a 'omg so random! xD' way) or despised ('MAKOTO IS AN ABUSIVE BULLY AND HERE'S WHY (READMORE)') it all boils down to how people would (mis)interpret her mischief! OBVIOUSLY MEAN SPIRITED!!! 'MAKOTO IS THE UA TRAITOR THEORY' SHE'S EVIL WHAT HERO WOULD NAME THEMSELVES 'VIRUS'!!! cue people hc that they were created by afo or some shit and will betray their friends <3
ABUSIVE BULLY GOODBYEEHFHJHJGRHJ THE WHOLE "OK AITO AND MITSUMI IS PROBLEMATIC BUT I THINK WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM AND ITS THE UNDERRATED MAKOTO IS ACTUALLY THE WORST WE SHOULD TALK ABT IT MORE!!!"
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awed-frog · 3 years ago
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Hi, genuinely asking here, since I kinda like your blog, but from the 2 english articles I found about the whole mila situation(it's a French issue, how is the rest of the world supposed to notice it if French people don't bother letting them know?) the uproar is about her being islamophobic af, not about her rightfully telling men to not hit on her or that she is a lesbian. Like, my French is rusty but none of the french articles even care about those parts. What are you going on about?
The uproar is that you have a right to be “Islamophobic” because freedom of speech protects blasphemy. Without this protection, we wouldn't have satirical newspapers, books like Harry Potter (which was officially branded a 'corruptive influence' by the former Pope) or anything Neil Gaiman wrote and mostly 90% of the movies we watch, not to mention random conversations, Halloween costumes, Carnival stuff and so on. I mean I'm guessing that during an ordinary day, you might enjoy an episode of Supernatural or Lucifer, or even watch a movie where two characters briefly discuss whether God is real, or what an asshole He is, and why He lets bad things happen. Next you might participate to an online or RL discussion about the same thing. Depending on your native language and whether swear words are usually about religion or not, you might even blaspheme out right - a stunned 'Porco Dio' when something doesn't go your way. You might scroll past, and 'like', posts that say Christianity fucked the world and deserves to be destroyed, or people insisting God is a woman, trans, a pink wombat. You may see or write angry posts about how all priests are pedophiles, or hiding pedophiles. You might make or enjoy memes about Biblical stuff like Cain and Abel, and reblog gifs from The Life of Brian or one of the thousand offensive jokes there are about Jesus and the 'Virgin' Mary (ahahhahah, poor cuck Joseph). And most likely, you do all of this without a second thought - you consider this a normal and unremarkable part of your life.
Well - it is a normal and unremarkable part of your life - in some Western countries, at least - because we fought the Church and its minions for literal centuries so they'd shut the fuck up and stop annoying and torturing and killing people. I mean in the US they have their own problems, but in Europe I'd say you could call about 70% of the population overt or covert Christianophobes - if such a term had any meaning - simply because they blaspheme every single day. Whether they consider themselves Christians or not, whether they've been baptized and married in a Church or not, on any given day they might dress up as a sexy nun or ironically hang a crucifix upside down or listen to 'empious' music (like all metal and most pop songs) or make a bad joke about a priest or watch a 'corrupted' movie or say they don't give a fuck about God (understood to be, the Christian God), because if He exists, than he's a fickle motherfucker.
What Mila said is not nice. She reacted in anger, she reacted badly, she's also a teen on social media so she's bound to do stupid things and make mistakes. Meanwhile, the thousands of mostly adult men who threatened her with violence are not doing something stupid or making a mistake. They're demanding what Muslims (in Europe, but also in their own countries) have been demanding more and more loudly: that we give them special treatment, suspend our freedom of speech and blasphemy laws, stop criticizing their religion - or fucking else. Because this is not a polite philosophical discussion over cupcakes. People get killed every day for 'disrespecting' Islam - most of them Muslims or ex-Muslims. Please remember Samuel Paty, the teacher who's literally been beheaded in the street for teaching a class that was on the curriculum, and that other teacher in Yorkshire who's been in hiding with his family for months - and will likely never teach again - because he's 'guilty' of the same crime.
(And tbh, 'disrespecting' Islam can be everything and anything. We always think about a certain kind of 'extreme' Charlie Hebdo humour, but there are lots of things that are forbidden depending on who's in charge. For instance, a famous (and devout) Algerian theologian, Saïd Djabelkhir, was recently sentenced to three years in jail for 'offenses' against Islam - for instance, he suggested the story of Noah's Ark could be a metaphor and not an event that truly happened. The horror.)
Legally speaking, 'respecting' someone's religion means the State can't forcibly close a church if people are peacefully practicing their faith. It doesn't mean every single one of us has to stop criticizing, making jokes, writing novels and fanfiction, and yeah - even yelling obscenities because we're all human and we do get angry from time to time - under literal pain of death.
Anyway if you want to learn more about this, I'd suggest you look for the tag 'ex muslim' here on tumblr or on reddit or Twitter. You'll get opinions much more informed than mine on all of this and why the right to blaspheme is so essential.
(Also for future reference, it's not people from country X who have to 'bother' letting the world know what's going on. Instead, you're supposed to have curious, inquisitive, unafraid media who also cover that 98.13% of the world that's not the United States.)
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lesbiancarat · 4 years ago
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i keep seeing a ton of comments on both the james corden and kelly clarkson performance about how 'shitty' the captions are and I'd like to explain why that is bc it seems like a lot of people genuinely don't know
the reason the captions are Like That is because they're closed captions (CC's), not subtitles. what's the difference? in america at least these are two different things, where closed captions are meant primarily for deaf and hard of hearing (HOH) english speakers in order to understand what's going on. subtitles on the other hand are translations of foreign languages or can also be used in cases of people who are speaking English but have a very heavy accent or dialect
closed captions rarely, if ever, include translations (unless the translation is already provided in the footage, for example with a voice over). closed captions for television programs in particular are often done live as the show is airing, and it is VERY difficult to do live translations. for one, TV closed captions are often done with a machine or a combination of machines and humans. machines certainly don't do the best job at translating (see google translate) and human captioners may not even know the language. even if they do, if you've ever seen live translations on vlive you'll know that they're often minutes behind and summarize or skip over large chunks of dialogue entirely
and then as far as I can tell they just upload those same live CC's to the youtube clip, they aren't done after the fact
since CC's are primarily for deaf or HOH english speakers, something like 'singing in korean' or 'singing in foreign language' provides about as much context as an English speaker who doesn't speak korean would get
of course it leaves out the context of any english lyrics within the song, and leaves out deaf and HOH korean speakers who would otherwise understand the lyrics, etc. its probably true that both hearing and deaf/HOH viewers might benefit from a translation of the lyrics, and CC's aren't always perfect. however, CC's do have a function and it's important to be respectful of that
if you would like to ask these shows for translations going forward please be aware of how you phrase it. its better to just say something along the lines of 'it would be great if you added a translation of the lyrics!', rather than making a meme or joke of the CC's that exist or saying they suck
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antarestyl · 3 years ago
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Got not tagged but saw this meme and wanted to do it :D
I tag @namekian-maoh and whoever else wanna try!
How many works do you have on AO3?
56 so far.
What’s your total AO3 word count?
600021 at this moment... damnit, I like nice and round numbers more XD
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
29 XD well, some are crossover and some are almost-the-same (especially with Video games where I often take multiple entires in a series into account and tag them accordingly)
As for my fandoms:
Video games: Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Among Us, Bowser's Fury, Deltarune, Don't Starve, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Final Fantasy XV, Luigi's Mansion, Mario & Luigi RPG, Monkey Island, Pikmin, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Odyssey, Super Paper Mario, Undertale, (+ AU of Undertale)
Comic/Cartoon/Manga/Anime: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh! (All Media Types), Homestuck, Gravity Falls, DCU (Comics), Booster Gold (Comics),  Blue Beetle (Comics)
Books/Movies/Divers: Harry Potter, Mystery Skulls Animated, Olsen-banden | The Olsen Gang (Movies), Ties of Lapis (Skyrim-AU),
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. PTA Sans and other glorious things       
73016 words, 3192 Kudos, so far my most successful work XD It’s still ongoing. Undertale Fanfic, Monster-on-the-Surface, True Pacifist Ending, PTA AU, SansxToriel in the Background, everybody is here, mostly happy, silly and only a small dose of angst from time to time. Later chapters with more story.
2. TrioBlasterSets AU - Six puppys and 3 flames                 
270813 word, 758 Kudos. I write this AU together with @namekian-maoh . Still ongoing. Undertale Baby-Blaster AU with some Underfell and Underswap thrown into it. Dadby, Badster, mostly family fluff and dealing with the experiment!gaster-blaster Background of 3 skeleton children. Also 3 flames who take care of them that have way more drama going on themselves than nessessary. Chapters are not in chronological order. Has a few Spin-offs too (including some NSFW oneshorts about the flames and their relationship ;) )
3. So I won't regret another day 
19214 words, 320 Kudos. Undertale Underfell AU, Underfell Sansby with some healthy relationships, the planning of a revolt against an insane king, monster still being monster and not really made for violence in an violent setting. If officially finished but I write new chapters when the fancy strikes me.
4. Grillby's                 
9894 words, 265 Kudos. Deltarune/Undertale fanfic with a Spin, named Plushyrune (aka Deltarune where eveything is the same, just with Sansby and Sans makes plushies). Started as just pure silly fluff, kinda got a plot now about the kids of Deltarune. Still ongoing, new chapter is 80% done ;)
5. Something old, something new... 
6579 words, 208 Kudos. Pure Post-Pacifist Surface Sansby fluff. Mostly from Grillby’s POV how they fall in love and be silly and in love. Still ongoing, haven’t really had to mojo to write more for it lately, but I WILL return at some point.
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I try to! I used to not comment on comments because I had this irrational feeling of “cheating the numbers” if I reply to comments but... screw that, I want to interact with people! So I try to answer any and all comments now :)
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Ufff, for me it’s a tie between The last chip  and Laughter in the Darkness. The Last Chip is a Yu-gi-Oh! Fanfic in a series of Kaiba spiraling downwards after the Manga/Anime ended and sets up the events of Dark Site of Dimensions. It ends pretty much with Kaiba ending up getting borderline suicidal in his Obsession with the Pharaoh.
Laughter in the Darkness is the Epilog I wrote for my Gravity Falls x Amnesia Crossover where Ford is pretty much an Amnesia-Protagonist and archives the very worst ending for himself. Mind the tags if you read this. It ends with Ford at the lowest possible point for himself and its open ended if he is going fully insane or if Bill Chiper really is still around. (and it’s not clear what outcome is the better one)
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Nah, not really. I am a chill writer in my own little corners of the fandom and most people leave me alone. I did get one “But Queer is a SLUR” comment way back in the day where it was still all “????” to say that out loud. But otherwise? Nah. I am not important enough for hate, lol.
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I have XD Not much thou. I wrote so far an mastubation scene with the one going down on himself heavily NOT BEING ALRIGHT while doing so XD Other than that I have 2 NSFW Undertale fics with some hot flame-on-flame action. I do like writing not-standard-sex (as in Sex that doesn’t requite human genitila) Otherwise I like to hint or describe feelings more than the act itself. More lime than lemon ;)
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. As I said, I am not important enough for that.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I had some ppl asking for permission to translate (which of course) but as far as I know there are no translations out there as of yet.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yeah, I am writing the TrioBlasterSet AU with @namekian-maoh I did Co-write some fics way back during my fanfiction.de time too but that’s a long time ago.
What’s your all time favorite ship?
I ship a lot and am a dirty multishipper XD I have to many ships to really call one out as my favorite.
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
TrioBlasterSets AU because there is always MORE to tell with this AU XD
What are your writing strengths?
I am the Queen of Worldbuilding and Crossovers baby!
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Only do it if you have a REALLY good reason for it AND if you have a good gasp on the language. Like, nothing takes me out of a fic faster than reading stuff in horrible German written by people who were to lazy to just copy/paste the word from google translate (my time in the Apollo Justice fandom has seriously scared me. It’s Fräulein, not Fraulein or Fraülein! Also you can’t just swap ei and ie around THOSE ARE DIFFERENT SOUNDS! als we have the letter ß it’s a shap s sound you can’t just use/not use it as you please!)
Also in 90% of all cases it’s just not nessessary. Write what you wanna write, TELL us it was said in a different language OR let the POV character just tell us their hear something said in an other language they couldn’t understand.
What I want to say is: Have some respect of the language you want to use!
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What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?
I THINK it was Harry Potter? IDK I wrote a cringy Star Trek Parodie when I was like 14 or so and those OCs went through a lot from that time on forward but Idk if that even counts XD
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What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?
The Game of Our Life It’s a series of Mario x Homestuck Fics I wrote before Undertale came along and swept me away XD I love all my fics of course but this one was the first really big one I finished on english and it was the one I am most proud of of the world-building. It has angst, it has lore, my writing style was just really developing there and I am just proud of it. (Also it’s very self-indulging so yeah XD love it a LOT)
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welcometomy20s · 3 years ago
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July 2, 2021
HoloServer Quarterly Report
Usada Constructions - Buy
To understand the current position of UsaKen, we must look to its history. At first, UsaKen was a joke, a riff on Majima Constructions, a potemkin company only existing to serve the whims of the founder and CEO. Pekora’s project was sophisticated and massive, her pranks simply legendary. But out of the blue, Moona enters. The mutual awkwardness worked in their favor, in fact this will be a prevailing theme, what might seem like a highly dysfunctional group, actually turns the whole thing into strength.
The Rabbit and Moon theme didn’t hurt them either, and the idea of Usada Construction as an actual entity enters the public consciousness, especially as a point of comparison to the fledgling Akukin Constructions… although it could be said that Akukin was the remnant of Hololive Resistance in some sense. This led to the initial expansion with the hiring of Coco and Kiara… but again this was more of a joke, a fleeting thought before UsaKen was about to come on its own.
It was the Akukin Relay that really set the ball rolling. Not only did we have the fortuitous event of Kanata accepting a position in UsaKen before finding out she did get a callback from Akukin, it spurred Pekora into focusing on Minecraft, especially her gaming plans were dirtied by corporate pressure. Pekora started small, with her misbehaving cannon and putting out her petty anger onto Noel, but soon Pekora unveiled her grand plan, Pekoland, and immediately set out to organize the company as a whole.
By now, the company was fairly-sized. It added Botan and eventually Towa into the mix, although Botan is still technically an affiliate and Towa first came with revenge, before using the company as an opportunity to learn how to be evil. Now the company measured seven strong, although they were quite disparate, having members from all three branches and across three generations. This was quickly noticed and a discord server was made in response, which led to another group project immediately after Pekoland, which was already a pretty big project. Combined with Coco’s final innovation, the Summer Festival became an even bigger project in the end.
And it would be odd to think this would end soon. There’s an actual structure to things now, people can communicate and build on ideas and the whole thing seems pretty democratic, even with its autocratic start. And Summer Festival brought UsaKen into the center of Hololive narrative. UsaKen is now the de facto face of HoloServer, and perhaps even Hololive itself. People look at the former loner as the master organizer. Things only look up from here, which is worrisome, but there’s enough in UsaKen that I’m less worried than usual. UsaKen will always come out stronger in the end.
Akukin Constructions - Buy
Meanwhile, Akukin completely collapsed. It felt like Aqua would return from her Apex marathon, but it turns out prior and prep for the solo concert meant a month break is what she needed, therefore Akukin was without a leader for one more month.
Lamy and Nene managed with their own projects, but the rest kind of fell apart. But the Summer Festival changed all that. Just as Akukin Relay signalled Pekora a restructuring was needed, Summer Festival meant Akukin had to show up. So, the skit continued. During the Akukin Relay arc, the mysterious yet feisty boss with two second-in-command who actually runs the thing scheming and fretting was a hit, with a hint of blackness in its blasted scaffoldings. Now, the blackness is very much apparent. Aqua cannot let the failing company go, and has become vicious. Considering Marine's past, this works to their favor. Lamy and Nene would be their own thing. Roboco and Mel would pop in now and again. As for Iofi and Aki… well, I’m not sure.
Choco, which I deemed the liaison for Shiranui, which has a contractual relationship with Akukin, now liaisons for Oozora Group as well. Choco might be the next important person just because of that connection factor. Akukin might be a contracting company now, although Aqua would not be happy about where they stand now.
Oozora Group - Hold
I know that Oozora Constructions, now Oozora Group, is not a publicly traded company anymore, but I still suggest holding onto that now-worthless piece of paper. The problem with Oozora Constructions was that its story went nowhere. Korone’s house was interesting, but it rarely had an ending, since it required Korone to cooperate and that’s usually an awkward thing at best. Her other projects were half-baked, and most importantly Subaru never really had that recognition. She wanted to build a company but others laughed at the prospect. So Rushia lost faith and moved to UsaKen. Oozora was tanking before it started to fly. But Matsuri took grace and joined Oozora, at which point it became a group. It’s not like Matsuri and Luna, the other employee, haven’t been together, and Subaru was called Matsuri by Sora, so why not?
In the last report, I said Matsuri is more like a government employee than a free agent, and indeed it seems Oozora Group now acts like a governmental organization, with building a police station being the first undertaking after restructuring. This is actually not bad. Public utilities are dearly needed in HoloServer anyways, and Subaru acting as a public servant removes the desperation in her actions that would make interactions much more friendly and interesting. By falling, Subaru might have turned a corner.
Tangent - Using an extended analogy, when the age of giant reptiles was wiped out by a meteorite, there were small survivors, which we now know as birds. So, it looks like Coco’s legacy would also be held by birds, holotoris to be exact. To explain why, let’s look at the current functional part of Coco. Coco is the bridge that connects East to the West, not just in terms of language, but also in culture and mores. In that way, holotoris nicely distributes this responsibility. Subaru might be the best JP member after Haachama in terms of English comprehension, and she is quite cognizant of recent foreign perspectives as well… so she could be a good future ambassador. For Reine, her Indonesian teaching stream reminds me of Coco’s early streams. And Kiara’s Holotalk has been the counterweight to Coco’s meme review since it started… Not to mention, these three are the most extroverted of their respective branches.
Shiranui-Elite Conglomerate - Hold
SEC is an organization of my own creation, but it’s a useful one, because it fits the current situation well. To sum up, Elite Construction was starting to fall apart as Minecraft activities waned, one of the replacements was GTA V, and the three major players were Miko, Flare and Suisei. Their collab together was probably the highlight of the last quarter and gave us a bright spot during a time of troubles.
As Minecraft activities increased, due to PekoLand and HoloID mall and Mel and Roboco popping in and out, the connection before was starting to bore out in Minecraft. Shiranui was originally a contracting company, working with Akukin for example. Therefore it had a family business type, indeed the only other employee was an honorary one given to Flare’s wife, Noel. But a series of interactions with Polka and Choco led to this master and apprentice relationship, which was a major hit.
Flare, pardon the pun, was always the black sheep of the Hololive Fantasy. While the other four have something to stand out and something to back the flash (Pekora draws with her laughter and manic behavior which is backed up by her earnest shyness, Rushia draws from her yandere metal screams which backed up by her sincerity and fragility, Noel draws with her upper assets and ASMR which is backed up by her erogaki silliness and her charming singing, and Marine draws from her horny nature which is backed up by her wit and almost motherly wiseness), Flare never really landed a character. Indeed, Flare is a straight man through and through. Not quite a tsukkomi like Subaru or Kanata at times, since there is not that retorting arrogance the two can exhibit, as people call, Flare was your comfy older sister...
But the Western audience and this Polka relationship changed that. In the West, the fatherly figure has more of a distinct and prominent role, and Flare can emulate this pretty well. A dad is grounded and serious, but can be silly and childish at times. But the silly and childishness does not undercut his serious nature… and that goes well with Flare (perhaps even more so than Calli, who is on a goofier side of things). Therefore Flare could finally breathe and express herself. And the introduction of Miko and Suisei brings the crew into full focus. They are reminiscent of early UsaKen, except while UsaKen was disparate, SEC most closely resembles… well, a D&D party. With your typical silly arguments and trials leading to growth and so on.
Adding Marine or even Nene might disturb this. Flare is fine with the size and I am too. It’s not like there are any real pickings left anyway. Shiranui-Elite conglomeration have a long journey ahead of them, but a brighter future that goes along with it too.
Haachama Construction - Sell (but buy Watasheep)
It was inevitable. Haachama/Haato thing was not going to be settled soon. Haato barely finished the Coexist arc, getting the Anno disease in the process. It was pretty clear that the Haato/Haachama thing became overblown and unfitting to what Hololive was now.
But this leaves us with Watame, and Watame is in an interesting position. Watame is between a lot of companies now. With Shiranui-Elite, she is part of the four heavenly lords, and as Watasheep, she does the delivery of Menya Botan and KFP, both part of UsaKen, who inadvertently cornered the fast-food business. And she is part of the 4th Gen, who has come much closer due to the departure of Coco.
Watame has always made the safe choice, she revolutionized the server with her excellent Janken machine, but it was Kanata who became the seller. Watame might choose to leave herself out, since her Minecraft streams are kind of meant to be relaxing. The reason she deliberately chose to level her field, instead of building the sign outwards like the rest of the signs. So, perhaps nothing comes of this…
OkaKoro Constructions & Shirakami Forestry - Buy
This wave of HoloServer was so large that even the rarer visitors felt a need to visit. Flare has reached out to Okayu, who has pointed out the reason for her absence was the loss of her basement and Korone has followed interest in the server as well.
Fubuki returned to finish her massive sakura tree, of course she acts alone, but she has been increasingly open to hiring people, but it’s not sure if this will become reality. Perhaps if Akukin finally dissolves, there would be enough workforce…
Kureiji Constructions - Buy
Ollie had a roller coaster of three months… Like a burnt fuse, Ollie has had several physical problems… that didn’t stop her from doing math streams (there are precedents Yashiro and Gwelu being good examples) and returning recently with late contributions to the Summer Festival. Reine has been helping on the side as well…
Free Agents - Sell
There is not much of this category anymore. Anya is the One who does not play Minecraft, in fact her demeanor is quite different from anyone else. Ayame not only has been gone from Minecraft, she has been gone, period. She really just returned to streaming after about three weeks? Risu is the only one remotely available, but she has the gene of OkaKoro, which does not induce work ethics in Minecraft, no matter how skilled she is. (Her roller coaster MLG is still one of my favorite clips)
Overall, 2021 Q2 was the best of times and the worst of times. There was a lot of big progress and a lot of setbacks as well. It’s a deeply uncomfortable but adventurous position, as it always has been for HoloServer and HoloPro as a whole. Next quarter will be further accomplishments and further challenges, and the company and the personalities and the audience will bear it through it all, as they always have.
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horreurific · 3 years ago
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calli bg notes dump pt 2
lets goooooo
okay so calli went to all girls private school! paid for by her paternal grandma and while her parents dont rlly get along with paternal grandparents they were like well ok. 1. bc its the south and parental respect is HUGEEE there i say this as someone with a ton of family from there and who lived there for 3-4 years. its still huge now so i imagine it was even more so back then. 2. they were like well it'll be a good education so why not let her pay for it
this is when calli rlyl started getting into languages, she already spoke mandarin at home with her mother, and obviously english but there would be language tutoring and clubs and calli was in ALL of them.
she'd come home like speaking in a different language and her parents would be like wtf.... she was always getting great grades in her language courses and always taking a bunch of them. she begged her grandma for tutoring for ones she wasnt able to learn at school and her grandma finally relented when she realised it'd look good to have such a "worldly and well learned granddaughter"
on her relationship with her maternal grandparents i don't wanna headcanon too much bc i know this is like the canon grandparents that r talked abt in game and my memory is shit so i dont wanna contradict any in game stuff on them but. so while paternal grandparents were also hyper present in her life these were the grandparents she felt more comfortable with and would be the ones they'd actually stay with for thanksgiving, xmas, etc.
funnily enough besides languages history courses and archaelogy type stuff wasn't rlly in calli's interests then, she was rlly into her english class and home ec because her paternal grandma kinda had it drilled into her that she should enjoy "feminine" subjects.
she actually wasn't even originally an archaelogy major at college i imagine she went for smth considered "traditional for women" at the time like a secretary degree or teacher etc and ended up sitting in on a history or archaelogy class and was like that meme where the bird eats the cracker and it's eyes get all sparkly.
and like came home that night and would NOT shut up abt how cool this class was and how she wished she could switch majors etc and her mom was like "why don't you just switch majors and be an archaelogist then?" and calli was like surprised pikachu face. u can do that???
so she does end up doing that after encouragement from her parents and maternal grandparents but when she does uhhh paternal grandparents. esp grandma r not happy. its like the whole "polite young women do not enter into traditionally masculine careers calliope. i thought you knew better than that" and probably some shitty comments abt her mother's influence etc.
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radramblog · 3 years ago
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Rating the letters of the alphabet
I feel like part of my style of comedy is just rambling about shit and making loose connections between things as part of an overall bit. I think. I’m no expert on myself, unfortunately.
The inspiration for the following absolute load of shite is trying to search Tiermaker for nothing. Like, no characters in the search bar. Didn’t come up with anything. Did a search for just a space. No dice. What about just a? Surely that’ll bring up everything with an A in the title. But it didn’t, and I was somewhat disappointed.
Then my head started writing bits about letters and that’s how we got here. This is probably really stupid, but maybe it’ll at least be fun. Wordplay is cool, though maybe not my strong suit? Anyway.
A: A is one of the two letters that’s also just a word, as you’ve just seen, giving it a necessary promotion in rank. Not a lot of things get to double up like that, though with the “an” ligature maybe it’s actually a double or nothing. But because of the confusing common connection crossing contexts for the character, it gets somewhat awkward to talk about the letter in conversation. An A, in my opinion, A does not get. 4/5.
B: B is also just a word letter but unlike A when you write it out you have to stick a few extra letters on to make it work, making it not as good. But B’s association with bees isn’t enough, because in the year of our lord, like, 2019 or something, it would become inextrixably linked with shite memes as the B emoji became king. And I just don’t respect that. It’s otherwise a fine letter, dragged down by its company. 2/5.
C: Oh come on now, the word doesn’t even have a C in it anymore! You can sea the see without any of our tertiary letter’s involvement whatsoever. Not to mention how its two main sounds are just copies from other letters wholesale. C must be confusing to non-english speakers, I’d imagine. C as a grade gets what C as a grade typically entails for many a schoolchild. 3/5.
D: It would be remiss of me not to give a sterling grade to the D. Why, none of us would be here without it. While many a youth may find the D to be quite a humourous subject, I assure you I’m taking it with the gravest of sincerity when I say the D has got to be one of the best letters of all.
And by D I mean deity, of course. Wait, what did you think I meant? 5/5.
E: The absolute absurdity that is the E meme elevates E efficiently enough to excel beyond many another vowel. However, it is also the single most common letter in the English language, going so far as to open the damn name. It’s to the point where someone made a point of writing an entire book without using it, and I think Gadsby is cool but mayhaps avoiding fifth uncial was a bit showy. I can’t help but mark it down for the sake of hipster cred. 3/5.
F: F is for Fuck. I like the word Fuck. F is for paying respects. I think the military-industrial complex has poisoned our cultural landscape to the point that a reference to one of its most prized productions’ awkward moments has become one of the most colloquially used meme letters in existence, And That’s Terrible. 3/5, I’m conflicted.
G: Man literally who the fuck cares about G. What is it even good for. Just an absolute waste of a letter, total shithouse. It’s NATO equivalent is Golf, the Worst Sport, too. Who asked for any of this? Just use a J instead, it’s cooler. 1/5.
H: I’ve seen “Hhh” used enough times in written forms of pornography to not consider it a Horny Letter. That and it, being short for Hentai, is often used to denote adult material in Japan. Basically what im saying is, I think this gets worse the less sex-positive you are. 6/9.
I: I think I’ve said enough about letter words already, but I is another high-tier one because like A I is just it’s own thing. It can also, however, be a bit confusing, looking just like an l a lot of the time, and having to constantly capitalise it is a pain in the ass. I also don’t have a particularly high opinion of myself, so a high opinion of I seems disingenuous. 3/5.
J: Clearly the best letter, hands down. I’m definitely not biased. There are so few letters as underappreciated by J- a fact many a person who’s had to do that “assign yourself an alliterative adjective” icebreaker game has had to reckon with. Because it appears to be a lot more popular with names than with words, and that just kind of sucks. 6/5.
K: K has in some circles managed to bump off its partner to become yet another letter word, though in a very informal abbreviated sense. However, when you’re looking into scientific fields, eventually said partner returns, having lost some weight on the trip down to absolute zero. This all makes complete sense in my head, and I’m sure is a lot less funny to anyone who doesn’t live there. 4/5.
L: I’d argue that L doesn’t cop its namesake. It’s a really useful letter, loads of words use it, especially in pairs, and my ADHD-brain thought it was fun to just say LLLLLLLLLLL for a bit while I was thinking about this so I guess that’s staying in now. Put me down as an L Lobbyist. 4/5.
M: Mmmmmm. M&Ms. But also it’s kind of a pain to write. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 3/5.
N: I’d like to fight whoever decided we should have two letters that sound so similar right bloody next to each other in the alphabet. Actually, who the fuck even decided the alphabet’s order to begin with? Maybe it should go M to N, that’ll bloody show you. 2/5.
O: Our fourth vowel, and perhaps one of the underappreciated ones. O is similarly a letter word, but a much more common one considering its use as an interjection. It’s also one half of a very powerful letter combo, as we’ll see. 4/5.
P: There’s the other half. Many a joke involves OP as a phrase, whether it mean overpowered or original poster, and the letters’ adjacency is a lovely bit of serendipity. Whenever I say P out loud, on its own, I have to resist the urge to do some incredibly shitty beatboxing, which may or may not be a good sign. 4/5.
Q: I was going to write some very harsh words about Q, and its dependency on U, but then I realised that that is probably hate speech against the disabled. It still sucks, though. 0/5.
R: R is the one I am most struggling to think of things to say about. R is another letter that’s just kinda there. I’m sure the Roberts and Rachels of the world would disagree with me, though. It’s also the name of a program that I know has traumatised a lot of young biologist wannabes, slapping us with a whole pile of maths and statistics when we just wanted to look at cool plants and shit. Or in my case, cool cells and shit. 2/5.
S: The most overrated consonant, but also the thing that makes plurals not a pain in the ass. However I’m going to lean towards giving S a positive rating, if only because it’s associated with snakesssss (and serpentine characters who can talk) and I like those. 3/5.
T: I don’t think T gets enough credit as one of the pillars of the English language. A lot of very common words feature it, and yet it feels like it never gets the same level of credit as big shots like S or half of the vowels. T is like the character actor of the alphabet, is basically what I’m saying. 4/5.
U: Ah, the letter Americans hate for some reason. I think this is actually commentary on the history of American politics. Because throughout history, America has been extremely selfish and self-centered, while attempting to present a positive image that people are finally seeing past. They only entered WWI and WWII when it was convenient for them, they started wars and initiated coups in even their allies for petty ideological reasons, and they’ve gone to war with several countries and funded wars with several others seeming just for shits and giggles. Because apparently if you’re not an American, then you’re not one of them, and that means they hate U. 4/5.
V: I actually think V is underrated. It’s a fun sound. That’s it, no joke here. It’s neat, I like it. 4/5.
W: This may come as a shock to you, but double-u over here is actually two Vs! unless you’re writing in cursive, but fuck cursive. The French actually have it right on this one, naming it double-v (pronounced doobleh-vay). Add in the fact that it’s literally just M upside down, and you’ve got a pretty shite letter. 1/5.
X: There’s a reason literally every “A is for Apple” thing you see made for kids uses Xylophone for X, and that’s because there are no commonly used words that start with it. Seriously, it’s all just scientific terms- I’d argue X-Ray is more common than Xylophone in common parlance, but also, who wants to explain imaging to a kid. It doesn’t even get a second page of words on Dictionary.com. X also has implications as a letter word, that I’d rather avoid at the moment. 2/5.
Y: Ah, Ygreck, everyone’s favourite “what the fuck, France?” moment. Between that and being sorta kinda not really a vowel, Y prompts its own question more often than I’d care to admit. 2/5.
Z: As a (technical) member of the generation associated with this letter- on the one hand, I’m sorry, on the other, y’all have it coming. The final letter of the alphabet, one of the other ones worth 10 in scrabble (and yet X isn’t???), and one we probably got pretty sick of in the early 00s when it was everywhere- ironically, when most of the generation was getting born. 2/5.
And that’s the lot of them. I hope this didn’t alienate any non-English speakers too hard. It’s probably fine.
Join me for more bullshit next time I have another stupid idea. I mean, tomorrow.
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megaderping · 5 years ago
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I’ve been thinking a lot about online fandom climates but specifically my experiences within the Undertale fandom and especially the Discord and Soundcloud communities. If there is one thing I’ve noticed in all that time, it’s... just how quickly negativity can spread and make others feel outraged as well. And how little communication and respect happens in these online spaces. For instance, one of the servers I’m a part of- it used to be commonplace for people to nitpick the HELL out of AUs and other fanworks. This led to this twisted sense of superiority and jealousy. People were outraged that the works they put so much time and care into were overshadowed by other works that they felt were less deserving. I, regrettably, fell into this habit, too, and for a long time I was just so... hostile and resentful toward certain AUs and Undertale fanworks. And on one hand, I get it. There are popular Undertale fanworks that do things that are... frankly uncomfortable. Misgendering Frisk/Chara/Napstablook/etc, killing off Alphys or Papyrus for shock value, uncomfortable ships etc, etc. To a lesser extent, some just have really bad writing or characterization. I understand wanting to vent about these things in a safe space rather than swarming the content creators- but my concern is that many of these servers are actually public or semi-public, and with a large userbase that kinda feeds into circular venting that can consume channels and leave spaces with an overall toxic atmosphere. Granted, I ALSO get that not every content creator has been polite in response to fan concerns. I have seen popular  creators actively mock people who politely raise issues to them. And I think that’s really in poor taste- I get being frustrated if someone comes to you saying this thing you worked on is uncomfortable/hurtful, but I think as long as they are NOT attacking, it’s important to have patience. People aren’t mind readers. Popularity doesn’t excuse folks from human decency, and I also think that fans of content creators should also just... not gang up on someone who maybe has a dissenting opinion on the thing they enjoy? Though I will say, there’s also a pretty serious problem of disrespect toward content creators, too. Consider how many people go to Youtube and reupload people’s art/animation without credit or consent. This is a HUGE problem in the Undertale AU community especially, but it doesn’t end there. People will argue a creator’s decisions. I see this a LOT with people who label their work’s Chara as nonbinary- there’s a VERY vocal part of the fanbase that INSISTS Chara must be female... which is really unpleasant (yes, I realize gender discourse goes both way and aggression is never cool but I see this particular example a LOT). Never mind the occasional entitlement.
One prominent issue I see is just... the expectation of a work to conform to popular headcanons/interpretations. When IF started releasing its dubs, people got angry because some of our casting choices were unconventional. But it’s not just a matter of voice interpretations. There are ideas within the fandom collective people just treat as Objective Canon. E.G. Gaster being lost to “the void” and forgotten, Toriel and Asgore NEEDING to get back together Post-Paci and especially in any timeline where one/both kids is saved (disregarding that Toriel has a right to keep boundaries), the assumption that every work will select certain dialogue choices that are popular when things like Places to Go exists and deserve exploration, too. But it’s not just that. Take the Undertoad AU- people have gotten SO angry and entitled over its character placements (especially Kammy as “Toriel”). They got hostile when the AU creators declared they aren’t directly using roles, and while I personally think the matter could’ve been handled more delicately toward the fans, I also sympathize in that it is an AU that has been disrespected by fans since its inception, and as a content creator, that can be so, SO exhausting. But it’s not just Utoad. Team Switched has gotten so much flak for not sticking to the original Underswap concepts. The ORIGINAL Underswap creators got so fed up with fans disregarding their comfort zones and drawing ships they did not approve of (and requested people not draw) that they up and deleted the blog and disowned the AU. I know it’s just fandom, but it’s just SO unfortunate when a content creator’s ideas aren’t respected. When a creator asks that people not create certain types of fan content or sets up certain boundaries. More than anything, people need to understand that we’re all just... people. And just ‘cause someone is popular doesn’t make them unapproachable. I know, personally, I’d MUCH rather someone come to me if they had a legitimate grievance with my work so I can understand and at the very least keep it in mind going forward- especially if it was hurtful. People make mistakes, and sometimes the social climates one grows up in means they still have a LOT of room to learn or they just might not be privy to implications behind a given idea. Or they’re just inexperienced. It’s why I HATED when the SC and Discord spheres would tear into people with less experience- folks who are still learning to create and don’t have the foundation or knowledge others have. Like, goodness. There was this one AU made by someone whose first language was NOT English, and everyone would meme the heck out of it instead of talking to the creator and giving constructive feedback. It’s one thing if a content creator refuses to take input and lashes out- at that point, it’s best to block/unfollow and move on. But it is SO important to remember that this is a fandom that is FULL of young people, and making a public mockery of their work can really discourage them from honing their skills. It’s just... cringe culture is really bad. And so is online bullying. And so often, that’s what happens. The UTSC community, for instance? Rampant with all manner of toxicity. Backlash towards anyone who dares mention the oversaturation of Megalovania styled tracks, mockery toward new composers, transphobia (good LORD I heard about some awful conduct in *that* regard), the idea that servers that have zero tolerance for edgy slurs are “too soft” (yes, the IF server won’t let you be racist/homophobic/transphobic edgelords. Human decency is kinda important). These things, of course, are just a universal part of fandom and especially public spaces. There will always be online toxicity. But I think it’s important to remember not to get too swept up on it. To step back sometimes and understand that there’s a point where you can’t force change and sometimes it’s better to block/unfollow and find something more positive to remind you of what you enjoy about fandom. Though as one final note, I think it is ABSOLUTELY important to watch out for younger fans because SO many fandom spaces have predators and abusers. When it reaches a point where someone is actively hurting others, then it is completely understandable to spread the word. But that should be saved for the people who are actually a danger and not the person giving a dissenting opinion on a character you enjoy.
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