#where’s my angry hurt sexy dictator

[actuallysaiyan]

Could you do gohan and future trunks sfw alphabet and separate plz cause I don't want to bother ya

We’ll start with Gohan! He’s one of my favorites <3

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Gohan is insanely affectionate. He’s always going to dote on you and show you all the ways that he appreciates you. Whether it be him doing you little favors without you asking, or he’s giving you a back rub, or even sending you flowers, you can be assured that Gohan will not leave you guessing.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Gohan would absolutely be the best! He’s smart, funny, sweet and really cares about people...especially you. He would do anything to make sure you’re happy and healthy and safe...but also he would help tutor you if you needed it or he would even bake you cookies if you were feeling down.

The friendship would either start when he’s in high school and you’re there with him, or if you ever ended up going to one of the fighting tournaments.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Gohan adores cuddling. There’s nothing better than to curl up with you and read a good book or watch a great movie. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you in close and lets you lean your head on his shoulder. He’ll probably even play with your hair or give you a little back rub.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Gohan adores the idea of being able to settle down with you. He’s awesome with cooking and cleaning and doesn’t mind doing his fair share of it. He’ll make sure you’re both feeling needed and loved and that things are split down the middle.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I think this is something that Gohan would struggle with a lot. He hates the idea of hurting someone unnecessarily, so it would really hurt him as well if he had to end a relationship. He would try to do it as gently as he could, but he would be so heartbroken seeing you either go off angry and cold or very sad. It’s not easy on the poor boy.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He loves the idea of commitment. He saw how weird the relationship between his mother and father was, and he’d absolutely want to settle down and be with you forever if he was in love with you. It wouldn’t be super quick, but it wouldn’t take him too long if he realized that you are the one for him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Gohan is the king of being gentle. If he hugs you or touches you in anyway, he’s very receptive and knows exactly how much pressure to put. If you need a shoulder to cry on, he’s very gentle emotionally as well. He knows exactly what to say to make you feel better.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Gohan loves hugs! They are some of his favorite things in the whole world. He’ll hug you whenever he gets the chance. His hugs are like sunny days, warm and bright. He brings you into his arms and squeezes you tightly, rubbing your back and telling you how much he appreciates you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I think it would take a normal amount of time for him to say that. He’d have to get to know you well first, but once he realized you were the one, he would have no problem confessing. He might be a little flustered about it, but he’s not going to hide it for too long.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I’d love to say that he isn’t the kind of man that doesn’t get jealous, but sometimes that Saiyan pride gets in the way of things and he doesn’t like the way that guy/girl is looking at you or how that person is just a little too close for comfort. If he’s jealous, he won’t lash out. He’ll come wrap his arm around you and pull you in for a passionate kiss.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are so sexy. They are slow and passionate and he knows exactly what to do to make you melt. He loves kissing you on the lips or maybe even on the neck...if he’s feeling frisky, he loves to kiss in naughty places. Gohan enjoys being kissed on the lips and forehead. If he’s feeling frisky, he definitely enjoys being kissed on the chest or even in the erogenous zones.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Gohan is amazing around children. He’s patient, understanding and a very good role model. He’ll be a wonderful father to your children and will spoil them with lots of love.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He’ll let you sleep in while he gets up to make coffee and breakfast. When you awake, he’ll serve you breakfast and coffee while you both enjoy each other’s company. Then he’ll suggest a shower before you go off and run any errands you need to.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

After a good dinner, he’ll want to curl up on the couch with you and read a book or watch a tv show you both enjoy. If Gohan is feeling a little naughty, maybe he’ll want to have a little wild fun with you. When it’s time for bed, he’ll tuck you in and lie next to you, giving you a sweet kiss goodnight.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It would take a little time for him to open up a lot. He’s going to want to know you well before he tells you everything. It’ll start with little anecdotes and stories, then it’ll move to big secrets or revelations once he feels comfortable around you and trusts you a lot.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s definitely got the patience of the saint. He won’t anger very easily, but if something does rub him the wrong way or he sees injustices, he won’t be afraid to stand up for what’s right...even if that does mean beating up a criminal or two.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Gohan would remember everything about you, right down to how many moles you have on your body and your second favorite pizza place. You don’t have to worry with Gohan as your lover, he knows what you like and you don’t have to second guess whether or not he knows what to get you for your birthday or anniversary.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is definitely your first kiss. He was a little hesitant and flustered, so you approached him and leaned in. The moment your lips touched, it was like this electric shock hit you both at the same time. It was a very pleasant electric shock, and he kept feeling his lips tingle for hours later.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Gohan is very protective, but he knows you can handle your own. He would protect you either by defending your honor or maybe even beating someone up if they were hurting you physically. Gohan wouldn’t mind if you tried to protect him, but he doesn’t want you to get hurt at all.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’s definitely going to go all out for those kinds of things, but he doesn’t mind it if you’d like to plan some of the dates as well. The way he sees it, he just wants the both of you to have a good time having fun together and enjoying each other’s company.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Gohan sometimes gets really sucked into his work. He may be a little bit of a workaholic and forget to relax and rest sometimes.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He knows he looks pretty good, but he doesn’t concern himself too much with his looks. He’ll make sure he’s clean and smells good before coming to see you.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Gohan would definitely feel incomplete without you. You are the person who always cheers him on and makes him feel good about himself. People always tried to dictate his life, but you just want him to feel happy and fulfilled. You love him for who he is.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Gohan absolutely loves getting cute things as gifts. He doesn’t care if it’s food, plushies or flowers, he’s very into receiving cute gifts.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Gohan isn’t a fan of someone who wants to hurt others for their own personal gain. It’s just not something that interests him. He wants people to treat each other equally.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He loves to cling onto you, warming you up and making you feel safe. He might mumble a bit in his sleep, and he may have nightmares from time to time where you’ll have to comfort him.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 6x14 Page 23

Okay what episode do we have today?

Ah okay, a Regina centric. That’s cool.

Is that the same guard Snow stripped naked in 1x16? Whaaaat?! Just looked it up and it totally is! Awesome call back! I’m going to name him Jim.

Oh my God, she killed Jim!!

Wait, so this has to be after Heart of Darkness.

The terrified look on that woman’s face when Regina strokes her chin, looks at her longingly and tells her she loves her. Omg Regina was in love with this woman all along! It was never about Daniel. It was about Christina! I’m naming her Christina. 

They are my otp now.

How did Tinker Bell get out of neverland? Pan decides when people leave, and I doubt he’d let her leave just to pay a visit with the Evil Queen. But then and again maybe it was all part of his big plan.

Oh. Pixie dust doesn’t dictate who your true love is. It just shows you possibilities. That’s not what you said before, Tinker Bell!

Regina, we all know you spared her because she’s your ex-girlfriend.

Actually, this visit from Tinker Bell is odd because she doesn’t seem angry at all like when she, like, wanted to kill Regina in 3x03. How did she go from, “okay. I lost my wings because of you but it’s all cool. I just want my otp together.” to “I’m gonna f***ing drug you with pixie dust and rip your heart out!”?

Also, this is the Evil Queen I like to see. So cold, terrifying and breaking on the inside. I’m not a fan of the humorous one in 6x02. I wish Split Queen was more like this as well. Ah different writers and director. Interesting.

Split Queen: “…not some burlap-loving peasant who sleeps on dirt.” Wish Robin: “Excuse me, I sleep on hay.” Important distinction!

Snow’s so excited about the wedding, bless her.

Lol Zelena just drags Emma’s hand to look at her ring. My girl loves shiny things! And how could I forget, her otp is getting married! She is in heaven right now!

I love Emma just casually talking to Zelena like they’re gal pals at a sleepover. More of this please! 

I can see what sqers say about this scene. Regina really does look hurt by the notion of Emma getting married. There is no heterosexual reason for her to react like this unless she’s in love with Hook. I think this is the only time they hug. Man, I feel so bad for sqers because upon this rewatch I can really see where they are coming from with that interpretation. It’s definitely there. And then they hug because Emma’s getting married to someone else. I would be so upset if that was my otp. What am I talking about, I watched 10 seasons of Smallville as a hardcore Chloe x Clark shipper. I think this exact scenario played out and it freaking hurts! 

In other news, I am so in love with Snow. Have I mentioned that? I feel like I haven’t mentioned it in a while and it needs to be said. 

I’m also in love with David, in case you forgot. I want to join their marriage. Can I join their marriage? I’m joining their marriage. Emma, I’m your mummy now. Don’t think about the age difference too much. 

I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate already today. Can you tell? I feel so alive! I want to share my social security number and be freeee!! I am trying to block out my anxiety about having to move house again next friday. Yep, that’s right, 4th place in two years. I think I will write all of these high on chocolate.

What would happen if you cut your hair with those sheers? Or your garden bush? No, that is not a euphemism, you dirty bastards (affectionate). 

I haven’t had a haircut in 10 years. Holy cow! That’s why my afro is so big, it’s full of secrets. 

Nemo is your dad now, Hook. Even though I’m pretty sure he’s a lot younger than you. 

He called him “My boy.” hehe.

I remember when I thought Hook and Rumple had the same mother. That would have been quite the twist.

I thought that vase of flowers was a giant cauliflower. Did you know broccoli, cauliflower, cabbages, brussels sprouts and turnips are all related? I wonder what thanksgivings are like when they all get together. Probably not fun for them. 

See what I did there xD? 

Emma: “This is my fault. I’m the one who convinced you to bring him here. It’s on me.” Regina: “Emma, you don’t have anything to make up for. You were just trying to help.” Omg, this compared to when she told Emma she’d ruined her life because Emma saved Marian. The development. I really appreciate this change because I nearly lost it with Regina when that was her attitude. 

Screw it, I’m making bean enchiladas. Brb. I’ll save you some!

I’m back! They’re in the oven. Anyone wants the recipe hmu! They’re veggie! 

You just know Split Queen and Wish Robin have a sexy dungeon in their castle. They just do.

Enchanted ropes would have been useful in so many situations.

The enchiladas are ready! Repeat after me, Becky: “I will remember oven gloves this time, I will remember oven gloves this time.”

Robin is so into Split Queen. He wants her to live with him and everything, even though they just met.��

I don’t think that arrow would have taken her to Robin since it takes her to the thing she loves most. She can’t love someone she’s never met. We all know it would shoot Christina right in the ass. That’s true love biatches! Evil Peasant 5ever!

Oh snap! Emma found Hook looking at himself killing her grandfather??! I completely forgot about this!

Why does she say, “That’s David’s father”? Why doesn’t she say, “That’s my grandfather,” or “That’s my dad’s dad”? She hasn’t called her dad ‘David’ in years. It’s like she’s trying to separate herself from the victim as much as possible.

She’s not even a little bit upset he killed her dad’s dad? That that event caused her father so much pain? She’s just infuriated that he tried to burn his memory. I mean, yes, she should be angry about that but where’s the empathy for her dad at least? I didn’t know any of my grandfathers well but if I found out I was engaged to someone who did that I would be angry for my grandparent, angry for my parent and angry for myself. I’m just speechless that that’s all she cares about. It seems so out of character. But then and again Regina had her other grandad killed. 

And now he’s gonna leave because he rightfully got told off. Can’t say I’d offer the same thing but she said, “until you’re ready” not “you’ll never be ready”, dude. 

I think he’s just scared David will punch him in the face at this point. It’s the only explanation for doing the exact opposite thing Emma asked of him.

“Captain Hook is always welcome on the Nautilus.” More like welcome on the naughty list after that stunt.

She doesn’t want a man, Henry Sr. She just confessed her deep, passionate, sexual love for Christina like 20 minutes ago, remember? Sometimes I wonder why I bother. It’s not even subtext, dude. Get it together, man.

Why don’t they fight themselves with magic?

Her dad is so heartbroken the person Regina hates most is herself. 

That is really sad that the person she hates most his herself. I can relate.

Yes! Launch those apples at yourself! 

My conversations with myself be like-

Oh boy. This is too reminiscent of conversations with myself. Yes, I sword fight myself wearing a fancy black, cleavage-revealing dress in my head all the time. Only joking, I wear trilby hats. 

Oh okay. Now they’re tying each other up. I see what this is really about. I still haven’t bleached the “we do like it rough, don’t we Regina?” line from my mind. 

I suppose she did take back some of her own darkness. But I was hoping she would just merge herself back together. That would have been a really predictable outcome, but I just would have preferred it. 

This scene is so weird lol, but it helped me tremendously. I used to hate myself so, so much. You don’t even understand. It was like a violent hatred for myself for not fitting in and for every single little mistake I’d ever made. Then with a lot of self- healing and the help of this episode I began my journey into loving myself. I wrote on a sticky note “Love yourself. If the Evil Queen can do it, so can you.” and stuck it to my wall. Nothing I’ve done is comparable to what the Evil Queen has done and if she can learn to love herself, why can’t everyone else. Anyone who’s struggling with self-hatred, please take this episode to heart. You are worthy of love, most importantly from yourself. Any time you find yourself hating yourself just try to remember this scene and that the flipping Evil Queen of all people recognised the importance of self-love and didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought. She damn well gave herself a chance. I’ve heard a good technique is looking in the mirror and telling yourself what you love about you. Even if you’re not feeling it at first, you could get into the habit of it and your brain will start to accept those words as true. Because they are true.

Aww she sees the Charmings as her family. 

Regina: “it did give me hope when I needed it most, and that is just as important.” Oh my God, preach the word Regina! Regina is preaching with fire today! 

It’s like she’s having a therapy session with herself. I need to do that. I really do. Then I need to get actual therapy lol xD. But baby steps! 

Okay. A loophole as to how he can change Split Queen’s story. You know what, at this point I’ve learnt just to go with it.

Can Snow and Zelena be best friends? Please. It’s literally all I want in life. And to join Snowing’s marriage. I’m not asking for much. I’ll talk about it in self-therapy.

Henry’s got Gideon’s haircut now. He wants to be cool like his uncle.

I want to look at myself with the love and adoration Regina looks at herself with. We should all get to that point where we look like we’re about to intensely make out with ourselves when we look in the mirror. 

I know what they were doing with page 23. I just wish Split Queen had changed her outfit so it could have been exactly like the page illustration. But I don’t think it was meant to predict the future. It was just one of Isaac’s fanfictions, wasn’t it? Hmm. I think it was a mystery to him as well if I can remember correctly.

It’s nice that oq shippers got their ship in the end in one form.

Snow is just constantly high up to her eyeballs on hope, bless her. 

Emma needs a dog. She seems like such a dog person.

Also, that enchilada was yumilicious, if I do say so myself.

[xmanicpanicx]

Romanticized Things That Aren't Actually Romantic

1) The "shut up" kiss

It happens in more movies, TV shows, and novels than I can even count. One half of the couple (usually a woman or girl) will be talking, and the other person (usually a guy) will suddenly lay an ol’ sloppy one on her mouth. Often times, she’s rambling about her insecurities, so some people think it’s cute when he kisses her, symbolically laying her worries to rest. Don’t worry, hon! There’s nothing to be insecure about! He likes you! There are two big problems with this. The first is that when someone is speaking, you shouldn’t cut them off; best case scenario, it’s rude. Of course, people cut each other off all the time in conversation, so that’s different. But when a character interrupts another character’s speech to kiss them, they are essentially prioritizing their sexual desires over the other person’s need to express themselves. It’s an action that has an agenda. Everyone wants to be truly listened to when they speak. So if, for example, we have a female character babbling about her insecurities, the male character should hear her out, and then respond to what she says. There is plenty of romantic potential in words — even more than in kisses, in my opinion. His response could still be a kiss after she’s finished speaking (as long as it’s not a rattlesnake-strike type of kiss that doesn’t give her a choice). However, we still have another problem: the female character’s self-confidence shouldn’t be contingent upon the male character’s opinion of her. In other words, a kiss from a guy, no matter how much she loves him, will not and should not heal her negative perception of herself. Not healthy. Real people and characters should accept themselves on their own terms rather than on the approval of others.

Sometimes, the sudden kiss will come in the middle of a female character’s angry rant. The male character thinks she’s cute or sexy when she’s angry, which can be frustrating and patronizing for anyone who voices their anger because they want to be listened to and taken seriously. But regardless of why the character is talking, the other character should stop kissin’ and start listenin’.

2) Female double standards

Women and girls often feel really uncomfortable when men objectify them and make comments on their bodies, so they call these men out — and rightfully so. They also call male authors out for only describing women in terms of their bodies and giving them very little, if any, personality. Once again, rightfully so. Unfortunately, in real life and in literature, there is a double standard here. It’s one thing to write an erotic novel in which bodies of every gender are described in explicit detail and with an express purpose. But I’ve read novels without any sexual content that go into so much detail about guys’ looks. And these male characters are often not well-developed, either (think of the stereotypical jock with a hot bod and no brain). Authors — especially female authors, who are usually the ones perpetuating this — need to do better than this. If it's not okay to do that to girls, it's not okay to do that to guys, either. Also, what is up with that scene from The Notebook? The one where Rachel McAdams repeatedly slaps Ryan Gosling because he’s breaking up with her. How on Earth is that okay? The Notebook is widely considered to be a super-romantic movie, but there is nothing romantic about that scene, and it should be a deal-breaker for their relationship. If the tables were turned and Ryan Gosling slapped Rachel McAdams for breaking up with him, the entire plot of the movie would be different. It would be a thriller, a story about a woman trying to escape a scary ex. We would never root for the two of them to get back together.

3) Overly-metaphorical sex scenes

Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Would you like some crust and tomato sauce with all that cheese? So many novels shy away from the anatomical details and favor metaphors for how the sex makes the characters (or just the narrating character) feel. In theory, there is nothing wrong with this, but I personally tend to roll my eyes more often than not at the actual execution. The narrator will say something too dramatic, like “our bodies became one and the universe opened up before me.” Or “and then we were flying, soaring with and through one another.” Or something else that is just… not sexy. As far as being poetic, there isn’t anything special about those phrases, either. There is nothing wrong with describing sex as it really is. I realize that novels featuring sex that are aimed at young adults probably cannot describe things too explicitly, but there’s no need to replace dirty details with flowery language. Go for whatever sincerity you can in the situation. There are plenty of different emotions to mine and sensual details leading up to the actual sex that read more thrillingly than the sex scene itself. 

4)  Instalove

It's simply not as much fun to see characters fall for each other right away. And how could they possibly fall for each other right away, anyhow? Is it all about looks? If so, both characters are instantly less likable because they're shallow. And that's not real love, either. You need to actually know someone in order to feel a such a deep emotion for them.

It's also important to note that making the characters "love" each other at the outset of the story does not heighten the emotional stakes. It actually cheapens them. Because how can we take this so-called love seriously when we don't get to know, don't get to care about, the characters as individual people before they fall for each other?

Now, if we get to know each character and watch them get to know each other, and slowly fall for each other, that's much more rewarding.  It's character growth, and it's a whole process that we, as readers, get to experience vicariously though them.

This may just be a personal preference, but I think it's best to even avoid phrases like “my heartbeat skipped” or “my skin tingled when our hands brushed” in the beginning stages of the story. Even though the declarations of love and outright displays off affection may come later on, statements like these reveal instant attraction, which still isn't as rewarding as attraction that grows over time and through events.

5) Love interests being obsessed with each other

From approximately 2005-2015, YA literature saw a horde of books featuring teenage girls and boys who are everything to each other. I almost mean that literally. The first really popular book like this was Twilight, but it had a huge influence on everything in YA that came after, especially YA fantasy. How romantic, some people think, that hero lives for the heroine! And vice versa! Perfect! Meant to be! Everyone wishes they could have that one, true, perfect love! 

Listen. Go back to Britney Spears’s first album and play the song “Born to Make You Happy”: ”I don’t know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy.” Solid 90s bubblegum pop, but with unhealthy lyrics. An unhealthy mentality. Most of us are familiar with that heady, all-consuming feeling of falling in love, how it feels like that’s the best and happiest part of life as it’s happening. There’s nothing wrong with portraying that. It’s relatable. The glorification of it beyond all else is the problem. The hero and heroine have scares throughout the story during which they almost lose each other, and that brings to light just how strongly they feel each other, to the extreme that nothing matters except each other. Then, of course, they ultimately end up together, happily ever after, never having to part again. But in real life, people break up, or sometimes even die. People have no choice but to be apart from the person they loved so much from then on. And it’s devastating, but it’s not the end, even if it sometimes feels like it. That’s why it’s so important for books to give some indicator that there are other things that matter besides (and dare I say even more than) the one person the hero/heroine is in love with. The characters have to have some sense of self-love or resilience. They have to have other people they care about, or at least values/principles and goals. They have to be an actual person, not just a vessel filled to the brim with love for just one other person. Romanticizing a co-dependent relationship can be hope-crushing message, especially for teenagers who haven’t had enough time to grow, to weather the storm of life and toughen up and become wiser and more self-aware and self-confident. 

7) The super dominant male love interest 

Okay, I’m not trying to kink-shame anyone because I know there are people who absolutely love this trope. I want to say it’s fine, as long as it remains in Tropeland. But even if women want to keep these love interests solely within their fantasies, I do worry about the message it sends to men, if it makes them think that they can be abusive douchebags because women are into that. I already know of far too many men who think that women are only into assholes. 

Personally, I’ll never understand the appeal of a man, fictional or otherwise, who dictates what a woman should wear, her food choices, where they go and what they do for dates ALL THE TIME. And jealousy! Sure, jealousy indicates that someone cares, and it’s a normal human emotion, but I’ll never understand the appeal of a guy who gets so jealous, he won’t allow his girlfriend any freedom. I’ll never understand how cruel, disparaging words could ever be on the same sexiness level as dirty talk. And I really, really will never understand how a man physically harming a woman could be considered sexy. It’s weak and cowardly, hurting someone who doesn’t stand a chance of fighting back because they’re nowhere near as strong.

I get the appeal of a guy who sees a woman as his equal and isn’t afraid to spar with her, challenge her, and maybe even be a little bit rough with her, knowing that she can handle it. I see the appeal of a confident man who isn’t afraid to tell a woman what he wants. When his presence becomes legitimately threatening and completely selfish, that’s when I personally see a problem. But hey, to each their own.

[thephoenixdescendant]

I knew this would happen. I accidently deleted an ask. Thank god I took a screenshot of it before deleting it...🙏🙏🙏

Whoever asked this, I'm praying that they will see this post.

WORD COUNT: 2,824

Vert x Reader x Alternative Vert

You settled in handler corners about a year ago and made friends with the people who work at spectre motors. But, one day you became awestruck for the fact that you saw them coming out of a portal. That's when you knew what they really do. You have been nagging them to bring you with them but Vert refused. The reason why is because he's afraid you might get hurt and also, you tried to ride the saber the other day. But, what happened was you drove it to the maximum speed limit. And you crashed his car on a giant rock. You hit your head on the glass real hard and ever since then, he's been treating you like a kid. So, you kept annoying Vert to the point where he gave up and said yes. But he told you to not walk around the battle zone and instead, stay with Stanford.

You were with them on the training tracks watching the solar eclipse through those special glasses that allows you to look at the sun, until Sage announced through their coms that a stormshock was detected, with a warning. Those solar flares could damage their vehicles. Vert turned to you with a serious expression. "Don't get out of the reverb. If you do, then it'll be the last time I'm taking you to a battlezone". You nodded in agreement. You hopped on the reverb and they all took off.

"Stay double frosty guys. Sage said those solar flares could do nasty stuff to our instruments." Vert warned. "Solar activity peak level coinciding with portal entry" Sage announced through the coms as Stanford kept touching a button on the touch screen of his reverb. "Might explain why my rear axle telemetry a bit dodgy." Stanford said.

"Caution. Battlezone may also be affected."

Everyone got inside the portal and arrived on a planet that looks really fimiliar. Like the ones they show on science fiction movies. "Looks like a standard alien desert to me." Spinner said. "Everybody make some dust. Find me a key!" Vert said as he went to the other direction. "As soon as I find out what's wrong my axle. Catch up with you." Stanford parked his car on an area near a mountain. You got annoyed because you couldn't see the rest of the zone for a bit.

Stanford got out of the reverb with a socket wrench that he carries with him. He crossed your arms as you watched him open the bonet. "First rule of a manual servo repair. Never need one." Stanford started to twist and turn some of the parts with the socket wrench. You grunted in annoyance. "Hey Stan. Can I get out and watch the view. I wanna walk around a bit." You asked. "No. Vert told me to make sure your inside the Reverb at all cost." Stanford replied. Not looking in your direction. "Come on! I don't wanna sit here! I just wanna walk!!!" You whined. But, he just ignored you. You looked outside and sighed. Then you got an idea. "Hey stan. I'll make a promise to you if you let me out." You said. He looked at you, a brow raised. "What promise?" He asked. "If you let me out, I'll tell Grace how amazing you are! I know you like her and I'm sure she'll listen to me. That way, she'll ask you out!" You said, with a big smile. He rubbed his chin and thought about it for a second. A smile formed on his face. "Okay! You can come out!" He said. You felt really happy and when you got out of the reverb, you gave Stanford a big hug. "Thank you!!!" You said, before going to the other side, enjoying the view.

You kept walking around until you saw something coming from the distance. It looked like a gold chariot... And it was coming towards you. You ran to Stanford and hid behind him. He gasped when he saw one of his enemies right in front of him. He dropped his socket wrench as the mutant like creature aimed his crossbow at him.

"Go on then! What are you waiting for fang face?!" Stanford said with pure hate. "Even though you humans want to destroy my world, I cannot attack an unarmed man." Kalus said. Stanford looked at him, confused. "Who are you? And what have you done with Kalus?" Stanford asked. "And you, are not acting like a member of the evil battle force 5!" Kallus exclaimed. "Evil battle force 5?" You whispered. Stanford looked at you, indicating he was confused, just as you.

"Mount your vehicle and let us battle as honour dictates." Kalus said. Stanford took a step back, almost stepping on your feet. "Uhh.... One moment..." He said before he spoke through his com. "Guys! Kalus has me in his crosshairs, but he's being... Honourable. Please advice." "On our way!" Vert replied as he and the others went to where Stanford stood.

You saw the team coming towards them from the distance. The tension was relieved.

"Huh! Typical Battle Force 5. Refusing to choose the Vandal code to settle our differences like gentleman!" Kalus spat.

"A vandal gentleman? Huh! In what world?" Sherman asked. "Maybe in this world. Sage said the battlezone could be affected. Captain Kalus! Wait! Please." Vert stopped the Saber infront of him. You and Stanford quickly got inside the Reverb and he aimed the sonic canons at Kalus. "Captain Kalus!" Vert called as he got out, without bringing his double edged sword. Kalus aimed his crossbow at him. "I'd like to speak with you! I've come unarmed." He walked towards him. "Vert! We've got him surrounded. What are you doing?!" Agura questioned. "Playing a hunch I'm about to wish I never had. Cover me but stay back." Vert said. Kalus got out of his chariot. "What kind of trickery is this?!" He questioned. Vert held out his arm, motioning Stanford to turn off the sonic canons.

"You... Ordered your team to stay back..." Kalus said. "I did. So, where is yours?" Vert asked. "Ugh! You know very well what happened to them!" Kalus said before sniffing Vert's uniform. "Or do you?" Kalus got surprised of the scent Vert had. It wasn't the same scent he was fimiliar with.

"It's not Kalus!" Vert turned around to the team. "Uhh... How many talking lions with crossbows are there riding around in gold chariots?" Agura was confused. Zoom came and stopped the chopper beside the tangler. "Just did a flyby on the battle key!" He said before turning to Vert. Surprised to see Kalus standing next to him. "Whoa! And we're not whipping lion butt why?" "Somehow those solar flares must of connected us to a dimention exactly opposite our own." Sherman explained. You gasped in surprise. "Am I gonna see the opposite version of the team?" You thought. "With good Vandals! (Idk what word he said after that... lol)" Stanford said, confused and surprised at the same time. "So where's the rest of your team?" Vert asked. "My good friends Hatch, Xever and Crocomodo were elimimated... Long ago...." Kalus said sadly. His face drooped down. You looked at him with pity. "By who?" Vert asked. "By.... Them...." Kalus pointed to the distance, as he heard a team of cars racing towards them. The whole team looked at the distance and saw their opposites. "Those look just like our rides!" Sherman exclaimed. "Normally it's between me and that battle force 5. Which exists only to conquer peacefull worlds..." Kalus said.

"Well... Look what we have here?" The alternative vert's voice was heard through the com. You gasped at how his tone was so.... Evil... "They look like us, but they're so... Clean." "Not after I'm done with them." "I wanna smash them. Into teeny tiny bits!" "Wow Sherm! That was nearly a complete sentence!" "Oh, you boys are like soooo immature!" "Shut your traps. First we get the key. Then we play...." A fit of evil laughter sent chills down your spine. Anti-Vert noticed you sitting with Stanford. He looked at you and winked. "Uhhh...." You had no words to say. "Whoa. Doppleganger dudes really got their fight on!" Spinner said. "Can't let 'em get the key. What do you need Zoom?" Vert asked. "Battle key is in the side of a mini mountain. Gonna need Agura!" Zoom replied. "Nothings out of my reach!" Agura said. "Agura go for the key. Everyone else on defense. Let's go!" The team charged towards their opposites. They looked at each other in pure hate. You gripped on your seat because of how fast the Reverb was going.

"Looks like those goodie goodies are gonna get in our way!" Anti-Spinner said. "Split up. Take 'em one on one." Anti-Vert ordered. The Saber's blades collided with each other. Anti-Vert's blade scraped past the Saber. Vert grunted in anger.

Anti-Vert's Saber got near the Reverb and he came to your side of the car. "Hey sexy! He thinks he's better than me. Let me show you what I can do." He said before charging towards Vert's Saber. Vert got really angry when his alternarive self called you "sexy". God, he wanted to punch his anti-self's perfect teeth. "If you are trying to challenge me, you're doing a terrible mistake! I'm gonna kick your butt!" Vert said. "That will be in your dreams. The woman/man is mine!" Anti-Vert said. "No, mine!" Vert muttered. "She/he is mine!"

You were watching the entire thing. Each time Vert gets pushed back by his anti self, Anti-Vert has a grin on his face. He knows you are still watching the fight. But, you suddenly can't see them because the Reverb has gone away from them. "Stanford. Follow the girl/boy and try to wreck their Reverb." Anti-Vert said. "Consider it done!" He said. You saw Anti-Stanford following the Reverb really tightly. "Ohmygosh. Please go faster!" You said. "I am!" Stanford swerved the car left and right. Trying to avoid the sonic attacks. His anti self got to your side and you gasped when he made his car push the Reverb to the side. Both Stanford and his evil self pushed each other back and forth. "Coming here was a bad idea..." You regreted annoying Vert. This is what Vert has been warning you about. Something like this always happen. Suddenly, Anti-Stanford pushed his vehicle too hard on the Reverb. Causing the mirror on your side to break. Shards of glasses fell onto your arm. It's sharp sides grazed your skin. Causing a cut on the thin layer of skin. But enough to bleed. It stinged a little. "We'll get away from.... Me..." Stanford somehow managed to turn the Reverb, making it face his anti self. They both sonic blasted each other. Stanford and his anti self took the hit, causing the Reverb to be pushed back. You hit your head really hard on the back and on the side..... The glass shards cut the side of your cheek. It started to bleed and your head hurts fr om hitting the back too hard. "(Y/N)!!! You're bleeding!!!" Stanford gasped in horror. "I'm... I'm okay... Just go!" You said. The Reverb took off, leaving Anti-Stanford alone. You started to feel nauseous and a splitting headache took place. "I... I don't feel so good..." You said, covering your mouth. Trying not to vomit because of how the Reverb's movement is. "I'll take you somewhere that'll keep you safe!" Stanford said.

Stanford parked the Reverb on a small cave. A cave where it's not clearly seen. Both you and Stanford got out. You sat on the floor, leaning onto the wall, as Stanford inspected your injuries. "I don't have an emergency kit. Sorry about that..." Stanford apologized. "N-no it's okay." You said, as you took out your handkerchief from your pocket. You placed it on your cheek, hoping the bleeding will stop. "I should be the onr who's sorry. I shouldn't have come here." You said sadly. "It's okay (Y/N)." Stanford smiled. "You stay here. The Reverb is already damaged. If you're in it, then it'll cause more injuries to you. Our opposites won't find you." Stanford said as he got inside the Reverb. He disappeared into the distance and you sighed. "I shouldn't have come here..."

Vert and his anti-self kept pushing their vehicles on each other, causing a lot of damage. He chuckled. "You already know that soon, the woman/man that you have brought with you on your mission will be mine! I already know it. You're weak!" He said. "Not gonna happen!" Vert shouted. Then Anti-Vert saw the Reverb coming out from the side of a mountain, but you weren't there with him. "Are you sure Vert?" Anti-Vert asked before violenly pushing Vert's Saber with his blades. Vert's vehicle flipped over and Anti-Vert went to where Stanford came.

You started to feel lightheaded and your head was throbbing and you placed your hand on the back of your head. You felt warm liquid covering your palm. It was blood. You sighed, praying the team will come back to get you. You laid down and curled up like a ball, trying to fall asleep. After a few minutes, you heard a vehicle coming towards you. It sounded like the Saber. You felt relieved for Vert being here and you got up... Only to see his alternative self staring at you. He chuckled. "Are you trying to rest my love?" He asked. "I'm not your love! Leave me alone!" You said, as you stood up. "You don't know what I am capable of. I'm way better than the Vert from your homeworld." He said. "Oh no no no. You are just a freak. I don't like men like you!" You shouted. He looked at you with no emotion. He took a step towards you and you took a step back. "Me? A freak? Ha! You don't know me well dear." Vert said. "And you don't know me as well. I'm capable of fighting you off. I have a black belt in karate!" You exclaimed. Suddenly, Anti-Vert just burst out into laughter. "Do you really expect me to believe that?! You don't look like the type to be violent." He said. "Oh, But I am. Don't mess with me!" You said. He took a step forward and you lunged at him, ready to punch his face. But, he grabbed both of your wrist. "Hm... A black belt in karate, huh?" He said, mockingly. "I-I just went e-easy on you!" You said, as you tried to pull yourself out of his grip. But, he was too strong. "Don't even try. You're weak!" He said. You mentally slapped yourself from doing that stupid move. The amount of energy you took to get out of his grip made you feel as if the world was spinning around you. Your legs became weak and you almost fell down, but Anti-Vert caught you. He grazed his fingers on the cut on your cheek. "Looks like Stanford got a little harsh on you...". "I'm very sorry about that..." He suddenly pinned you against a wall.

He looked at how vulnerable you are. It didn't take long to smash his lips onto yours. You couldn't protest as your body felt like jelly. He stopped kissing you as you bit his tongue harshly. "Gah!" He hissed in pain. You fell down on the floor. "D-don't do i-it a-again...." You spoke. Your voice was weak. The blood from his tongue starts to drip down from his mouth. "I would love my woman/man to be a little more compliant. I don't mind playful biting.... But, not in a way it'll stop someone from kissing you..." He said. "Go... To... Hell!" You spat. He just laughed. "You will be under my control when I take you away from them!" He said, with a wicked smile.

"STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU SACK OF SH*T!!!" Someone shouted from the distance. You both looked at who it was. It was Vert. Your Vert. He ran towards his anti-self and kicked him in the guts. Anti-Vert grunted in pain. "You will seriously gonna regret doing that!" He said. "YOU WILL SERIOUSLY GONNA REGRET TAKING MY WOMAN/MAN AWAY FROM ME!!!!" Vert shouted. Then, both Vert and his alternative self started to have a fist fight. You couldn't move or speak, and you laid down almost unconscious.

Vert somehow beaten his anti-self down. He ran to you and picked you up. "You're bleeding!!!" He gasped as he felt the warm liquid from your head. He ran out of the cave and placed you inside the Reverb. "Get her/him home! Now!" He ordered. Stanford nodded and he took you to the hub. He went back to the Saber and looked at his anti-self. "You and I are gonna have a fight. With our vehicles..." He said.

Part 2 (Coming Soon)

[superfanficnatural]

The Choice Part 3

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Christian Grey x Reader 

Summary: Deciding to get over your crush on Dean, you find Christian, a mysterious billionaire that manages to split your heart into two. Finding out hidden truths, your decision becomes a hard one, who will you choose?

A/N: Here is part 3 guys, sorry it took me a while to write it! As always, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Angry and Possessive Dean, Jealous Dean, Slight Fluff.

Word Count: 2,052

Italics are thoughts

Masterpost

Waking up, you felt strong, warm arms wrapped around your waist, a leg rested over yours. It was the most peaceful and comfortable you had ever felt in your life: you never wanted to leave. You felt Dean’s breath brush up against the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. Turning in his arms, you noticed the soft and relaxed look on his face. He looked so beautiful, a contrast to his usual demeanor, steeled with lines across his forehead and adorning his eyes. You wished you could take a picture, never forgetting this moment, but his iron grip made getting out of the bed a struggle. You couldn’t help the slight chuckle that fell from your lips, of course he’s a cuddler. His eyes twitched and you felt horrible for waking him up, wanting to stay in this moment at least a bit longer. His arms squeezed you a bit tighter as he was waking up, causing a smile to erupt on your face.

He cracked open his eyes, the green color almost blinding you, “Morning, sweetheart.”

He was too adorable for you to even think about being annoyed with him, “Morning sleepyhead, sorry I woke you.”

“Waking up with you in my arms? Nothing could get better than this,” he grumbled, his morning voice deepening it further.

You smiled and gazed into his eyes, losing yourself in them. Before you knew it, he began to lean in, you doing the same, mesmerized. Your lips connected with his, moving in sync as if they were used to the action. Your heart swelled before reality hit you and you pushed away, falling off of the bed with the exaggerated amount of force you put into it. Getting back up, you risked a look at Dean, confusion and hurt written across his handsome features. A small part of you felt horrible and you struggled to keep yourself from going back into his arms.

“That was- that was a mistake, I’m sorry,” you rushed, practically running out of the room.

Dean’s POV

Waking up with Y/N in my arms was probably the best feeling I had ever felt in my entire life. I felt so complete, so at peace. Seeing her beautiful face right next to mine as I woke up made me realize that I didn’t want to wake up without her in my bed anymore. Her beauty caught me off guard and I couldn’t help but lean in, silently reveling in the fact that she leaned in too. The first taste of her nearly made me pass out. Her perfect lips finally touching mine, it put all of my wet dreams to shame. I felt so contemptuous, not wanting to break it. As if she had fully woken up, she pushed me off of her, falling off of the bed in the process. It hurt, knowing that she only reciprocated the kiss because her mind wasn’t as awake as her body was. I couldn’t help the broken look on my face as she looked back at me with shock in hers, running out of the room, shattering my heart in the process. 

Y/N’s POV

How could I let that happen? Idiot.

You were reprimanding yourself, furious that you let your body dictate your actions. What pissed you off even more was the fact that it was incredible, you had never felt that way with anyone before, even Christian. You sat down in your bed back at your room, torn between two men. How the hell am I supposed to choose between a rich sexy stranger, and the man I have loved for years that played with my feelings? After a few moments, you felt your phone buzz on the table next to your bed, the screen lighting up with a text. Reaching over to grab it, you saw that it was a text from Christian, your heart skipping a beat. 

“Morning beautiful, how are you doing today?” the text read.

Your smile reached the corners of your eyes, such a gentleman.

“Morning handsome, I’m doing great! How are you?”

His text came back in a manner of seconds, “Tired and annoyed, I’ve had several meetings with people who had no idea how to help run a company, better now talking to you.”

“Seems like you’re very busy, sure you got time to talk to me?”

“I’ll make time, if it’s for you.”

Damn, he knows just the right words to make a girl feel special. 

“By the way, where do you live? I forgot to ask earlier.”

You took a second to think of what to say before deciding that it was harmless, “Lebanon, Kansas.”

“I’ve been there a few times to scope out possible locations for some buildings, beautiful place. What do you live near?”

“Yeah, it really is. I’m near the Webster County Historical Museum. Huge difference to Seattle though,” you responded with an emoji with its tongue sticking out.

Hearing a knock on your door, you put your phone down, “Come in!”

Sam peeked his head in, “Hey, breakfast is gonna be ready in a bit,” he said softly.

“Alright, I’ll be there soon, thanks Sammy,” you replied with a soft smile, the big brute such a softy. 

“It’s Sam,” he muttered as he closed the door, coaxing a small chuckle from you. 

Looking back at your phone, “Eh, Seattle has it’s perks but it also means thousands of people know who I am so I can barely go out in public and relax.”

Typing back your response, “Can’t relate but I can see the appeal. Hey, I’m gonna go eat breakfast, I’ll talk to you soon?”

“I’ll be waiting, have a nice meal,” he finished.

Getting out of bed, you made your way over to the kitchen, the smell of bacon wafting out into the hallway making your mouth water. Walking in, you saw Dean in front of the stove, cooking scrambled eggs and bacon, the table already set with Sam sitting in his seat, looking at his phone for a case most likely. He looked over to you with a slightly hurt expression but attempted to mask it with a smile; but you knew him too well to know that it was a facade. You felt terrible, if only I hadn’t kissed him this wouldn’t have happened. You sat down in your normal seat, Dean coming up and putting breakfast on the table. Although there was a slightly awkward tension in the air, it still went fairly well, everyone falling into a conversation.

“I still can’t find any cases, it seems like we are free for a few days,” Sam chirped, turning off his phone.

“I’m not complaining,” you added, Dean nodding beside you.

Finishing up breakfast and clearing the table, you walked back to your room, Dean and Sam going their own ways. 

Pulling out your phone you opened up your text conversation with Christian, “Hey there, breakfast is finished up, you manage to get anything to eat today?”

As if he was waiting for your text, he responded immediately, “I managed to get a bit in this morning. Do you want to go out tomorrow? I would say on a date but... you know.”

You took a second to compose yourself, his bluntness both refreshing and surprising, refreshing because you had always wanted a man who knew what he wanted.

“I would love to, but I’m over a day’s drive from you, I don’t see how we could.”

“You leave that to me, just say yes, please.”

Your heart leaped in your throat, he really wants to see me. Although you were confused as to how you would hang out, you really wanted to see him again as well, “Yes.”

“Perfect, tomorrow at 5pm, meet me at the front of the museum.”

“Sounds great, can’t wait to see you,” you responded cooly but were freaking out on the inside to know that he put everything aside and is making the trip to you just to see you again.

“Me too. Hey, I gotta get back to this meeting. I’ll be seeing you soon, beautiful.” You held the phone tightly in your hand and silently squealed, your excitement for tomorrow astounding. 

Leaving your room to go to the library, Sam and Dean were already sitting down, Dean on his phone while Sam was dived into yet another book. 

“You never get tired of reading do you?” you asked, catching their attention.

“Shut up,” Sam grumbled while Dean grinned.

You sat down in one of the chairs and got comfortable, putting your feet up against the table, prompting a bitch face from Sam at which you innocently smiled at.

“Hey, I was thinking, since there are no cases, maybe tomorrow night we could have a movie night?” Dean asked with a slightly hopeful look on his face.

Movie night sounded amazing, although it was somewhat rare, everytime that you guys had one it was always super fun. It was one of the only times that all of you were able to truly bond together, like a family. Though, you always hoped that Dean wouldn’t see you as a sister in his family, more his lover. Already having set a date with Christian, you were torn on whether you should reschedule for another time and watch the movie with the boys. The deciding factor was that Christian was willing to come all the way out to you just to see you again, which managed to move your heart in ways you could never have imagined. Besides, we can just have movie night some other time.

You felt like shit for saying what you were about to say, “I uh- I have a... date tomorrow.”

Sam looked absolutely shocked while Dean looked angry, “A date?? With who?” Sam questioned.

“Remember that hunt in Seattle? Well, I met someone and we are hanging out tomorrow,” you replied warily. Dean’s jaw clenched and jealousy was written across his face.

“Seattle is a day’s drive away, how?” Sam persisted.

You sighed, “His name is Christian Grey.”

Sam gasped, “That billionaire? You’re seeing him? Well shit, Y/N, attagirl.”

You couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from your lips but when you saw Dean giving Sam a death stare, it quickly died out, Sam giving him a confused look in response. It was as if he remembered he wasn’t allowed to be jealous nor show Sam or you that he was, steeling his face and putting on yet another fake smile, “I hope you have fun,” he spat, getting out of his seat and making his way back to his room. Sam gave you a perplexed look at which you just shrugged and rolled your eyes, getting up and following Dean. I gotta see what the hell is going on with him.

You knocked on the door, “Dean? Can I come in?”

After a few seconds, you were about to knock again before you were stopped by a grumbled, “Come in.”

You opened the door and closed it behind you, seeing him standing next to his bed, his body facing you, a defeated yet slightly angry look on his face.

“What is going on with you?” you asked.

“Are you kidding me?!” he threw his arms up in the air, “You know exactly what’s going on,” he grounded out.

“No, actually I don’t. I’m not a mind reader Dean! Is this because I can’t make it to movie night?” you guessed.

“No of cours- fuck movie night!” he yelled out, making you take a step back.

“It’s because of that rich guy who’s stealing you from me!” he nearly screamed, his body inches away from yours, when the hell did he get so close?

You gasped, his admission rocking you to your core. Before you could respond, you found yourself pushed up against the door with his hands on either side of your head. His breathing was labored, face red with embarrassment with his mouth slightly open, the air ripping in and out of his mouth. You could feel the tension and possessiveness rolling off of him in waves, his scent along with it making your knees weak and your pupils to widen. 

“I’m not losing you to another man,” he growled before sealing his promise with a kiss.

Next Part

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee yet another cliffhanger, sorry y’all but this was too perfect to NOT cut it here.

The Choice Tag List: @fuckthis-and-fuckthat​ @spnfamily-j2​ @greenarrowhead​

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp​ @shadowsinger11​ @donnaintx​

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags: @akshi8278​

Female Reader Tags: @punof-agun​ @emoryhemsworth​

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 171

Chapter Summary - Tom and Danielle have an amorous morning after a very amorous night only to receive a scolding from Luke and a worried phone call from Sarah. Smut to start the chapter. 

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1 @black-ninja-blade

Tom clenched his teeth together, trying to stave off his orgasm just a little longer, but he failed. Danielle's body just felt too good around his and a moment later, his hot breath panting against her neck and shoulder, he groaned gutturally as he filled her, his hips stilling as his body begged to be as deep-seated in her as possible. He wanted to relax after his exertion but all he could think of was Danielle not getting to feel as he had, so he gently pulled himself out of her and brought his hand to her now seed-filled core, his fingers quickly continuing what he had startled.

He focused not only on her pleasure but on her face, the blissful look as she bit her lower lip and arched her back as she came closer to her peak. When she began to shudder slightly, he intensified his efforts, her fingers gripping his arm as she gasped.

“Come on, Darling.” He encouraged. “I can see you're nearly there.”

“Tom.” Her voice was almost pleading. When he stroked her expertly, long having learnt her more sensitive spots, she clenched her eyes shut, her bottom lip at risk of being punctured and fell over the edge of her pleasure. He continued his ministration into she pulled him to her, kissing him passionately as she panted slightly. “I fucking love you.” She smiled.

Tom chuckled against her lips. “I fucking love you too.” he pulled back slightly and lay to the side, rubbing his hand not covered in their combined releases through his hair. “Twice in less than twelve hours, not bad for a man my age.”

Danielle laughed in response. “Because you're practically geriatric, aren't you?” She groaned slightly. “I don't know what hurts more, my muscles from that it or my head.”

Tom had to agree. “Why did you allow me to drink so much?”

“You're a fully grown man, I'm not going to dictate what you can and can't do. Have some personal accountability. Besides, I was in no fit state to tell you what to do, I was fairly drunk too.” She rubbed her temples. “How angry is Luke?” She asked worriedly.

Tom checked his phone, sure enough, there was a message, or several, from Luke. He scanned through them. “I've made him madder in the past. Long story short, we're bold and he's not paid enough to deal with me.”

Danielle turned over and got comfortable again. “I've maintained that since the beginning.”

“He asked what size jeans are you, he will have some clothes sent over for us so we don't embarrass ourselves wearing our clothes from last night.”

“Can't we just get a cab from the back entrance?” Danielle suggested. “I can't believe we ended up getting a room in the hotel, I mean really; we live about four miles from here. You and whiskey are a terrible combination.”

Tom laughed, thinking of his amorous attention to her the night before. “Not helped in any manner by your choice of dress, or underwear, or the fact you were giving me that look all night.”

“And what look are your referring to, dare I ask?” Danielle scoffed.

“The ‘I’d rather see you without that suit on’, look.”

“Do you think that's what I was thinking? What makes you so sure? What's not to say I wasn't thinking 'Why is he wearing that ugly fucking suit, I can't believe I am being embarrassed like this’?” she asked with a grin.

“Because I know that look when you find me sexy.” He leant over her again, kissing her. “You know you found me sexy. And I know you did because you were staring at my ass and when you started on the whiskey, your hand was on it as much as mine were in yours.”

Danielle could only concede it was true. “We were worse than two horny teenagers.” She recalled Luke pulling Tom aside and all but throwing a keycard at him. A moment later, a pleased-looking Tom went to retrieve her and with the quickest of goodbyes to Luke, who was partially ushering them out the door of the function room the party was being hosted in, and they headed to the room they were now in the same building, having had fun the night before, somewhat tipsy to drunk, neither truly thinking of anything bar the fact they were both feeling incredibly amorous, and again not ten minutes ago. “I may regret nothing.” She leant up and kissed him again. “Tom…”

“I am not able that quickly, sadly.”

Danielle huffed a small laugh. “Actually, I was going to ask you if Luke got a deal with breakfast too or are we going to have to pay extra for that.” Tom laughed into her lips. “I am starving.”

“Full English?”

“Extra toast. And tea, loads of tea.”

“I will order that, you get a shower.” Tom kissed her again, only this time, nipping her lower lip slightly as he did.

“Am I that bad?”

“No, I just do not want to be stuck trying to force myself from this bed. Check-out is twelve and it is getting close to ten, so if we don’t get going soon, we’ll have no breakfast, be annoying the staff and at more risk of being seen.”

Danielle sighed. “Sadly, that is true. Hopefully, my food will be here when I get out. I have money in my purse, tip the waiter or waitress that brings our food.”

Tom nodded, grateful that she had brought her purse because the cab driver would need to be paid too. He watched her go into the bathroom, very much focusing on her naked ass as she went and thanking whatever grace had given him the woman he loved so much before he looked at his phone again and apologised to Luke once more for the night before and thanked him for his idea, stating playfully that at least it was his fiancée, and not some random fling, something Luke always feared would get his clients, male and female, bad reputations. Tom chuckled at the “small mercies” reply Luke gave him.

He called for room service and gave their orders, and waited for it, grateful that though they had been liberal with their drinking the night before, they had not gone too far. His head was slightly hazy and his stomach was somewhat off, but he had been through far worse. He knew of more than one occasion where the idea of intimacy the next morning was not even remotely possible, then again, he never felt as he did with Danielle. No other woman had him think of the distant future with them like this, marriage, family, all of that, he had thought of it, but not with the anxious excitement of what would come like Danielle did. The idea of marrying her being a mere six months away, it excited him no end. Six months seemed like nothing. The six months since he had asked her had flown by, now they were halfway through the year they had decided to hold the engagement for and he could not wait.

The beep of his phone made him think Luke had something more to say, so he checked the screen. He could only see a few words and frowned before unlocking it and ringing his sister back. “Sarah?”

“Is Danielle there?”

“What’s going on?”

“Is Danielle there?” His older sister repeated.

“She’s in the shower, what happened?”

“Mum fell and hurt her wrist, I am trying to tell her she needs to go to the hospital to get it checked, but she’s ignoring me. She did it last night and I swear, Tom, it’s swollen and purple now and I really think she needs to go and she is being stubborn. I sent a picture to Elle to see what she would say but she didn’t reply.”

“She’ll be another minute or so. The shower is off now.”

“Fuck me!” Came an exclamation from the bathroom.

“I think she got your picture.” Tom looked around to notice that indeed, Danielle’s phone was missing. She exited the bathroom with a haphazardly strewn towel over herself. “Yep, she saw it.”

“Is that Sarah?” Danielle did not even wait for Tom to do anything more than a nod, she grabbed the phone off him and placed it to her ear. “Sarah, she needs to get to the hospital now.”

“I said that.”

“Tell her if she doesn’t go willingly, I will ring the damn ambulance myself and I swear, I will delay this wedding a year minimum if she argues.”

Tom leant back slightly, startled by the ferocity in his fiancée’s voice, but also worried about her threat to his mother. “Hey!”

She put her hand over the microphone. “We’d get married secretly elsewhere without her knowing, we just wouldn’t have the big day.” She promised.

Satisfied, Tom nodded slightly. “She’s serious, Sarah.” He called out.

“Now, Mum. Did you hear that? Danielle will hold a wedding strike…..she’s getting her coat.”

“Good, we need a few hours before we can head. We were drinking last night. Once it is safe for us to get on the road, we’ll head your way. Get her to keep her hand straight and don’t let her have any meds.”

“Is it bad?” Sarah asked worriedly.

“I don’t know, I don’t have an x-ray or a degree in medicine but when I worked the ambulance, that would definitely be a potential fracture, if not a very nasty break.”

“Mum, only you could do this, I swear. Yakov, Mum broke her wrist.” There was silence for a moment before Sarah spoke again, but it was clear she was not speaking into the phone. “Yeah, well Danielle thinks she could have and I trust her more than Google, so…we are going. We’ll be back later….I don’t know, they will be here tonight apparently.” Her voice came through the receiver side of the phone again clearly. “We’ll keep you posted. Let us know when you are on the road.”

“We will.” Danielle promised. A moment later, there was a knock on the floor. She handed the phone to Tom who rushed to the bathroom and put on her dress quickly from the night before, hoping the room was not too obvious as to their going’s on not too long ago. She gave the waitress a ten-pound tip and a polite smile, taking the tray off her at the door and thanking her, closing the door swiftly after.

She placed the tray on the bed and organised everything. A few minutes later, a slightly peaky looking Tom came out of the bathroom. “I am not going to be able to drive today. I am too old for this.”

Danielle handed him a mug of coffee, which he took immediately. “I think it will be at least six before I can trust myself behind a wheel, I’ll eat, hydrate and allow what alcohol is in my system to start processing, then I’ll see. We’ll see how things go. You’re Mam is going to be there ‘til late, so we will keep an eye on things. If it is broken, she’s in overnight.” She indicated to the food. “Eat up, we forgot the dogs haven’t been out the bathroom or anything.”

Fear filled Tom as he realised she was right. He walked over and began to eat, hoping the dogs would be able to hold it. “Cab?”

“When we are ready to go, they’ll have one in seconds in this part of town.” Danielle urged.

[theamberwriter]

Movie Night Mix Up[Billy Hargrove]

[ PART TWO ]

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Word Count: 3018

Warning: Cursing

Max had been getting suspicious lately. Billy wasn't as pissy as usual. And you had been hanging around a lot. Not that you knew she knew you had been. But she'd caught you sneaking through Billy's bedroom window one too many times to be a coincidence.

Max knew better than to flat out ask Billy what was going on. But she didn't know if you knew her. You didn't really have a reason to. Even if you did hang out with Steve a lot. You tended to leave when all the kids came around. 

Today was one of those days, you hung out in Scoops Ahoy for no real reason. Other than to bug Steve. Along with Robin, who you'd recently become good friends with. An irritating child, you'd heard Steve scold as Erica, was pulling her third round of samples. An abuse of power really.

You sat glaring out into the mall. You were so bored. But Steve and Robin were working. And Billy was at work. And it seemed like you were the only one in Hawkins who didn't find a job! Not like you would do much with Billy other than take a drive or watch TV. Still, it was nice to be around him. 

You'd been dating in secret for a few months. You hadn't gotten up the guts to tell Steve yet. You knew he'd have a fit. He hated Billy, and honestly, your boyfriend wasn't a huge fan of him either. But you'd put your foot down when you started officially dating. Billy was not going to dictate your friendships. To which he retorted about not stopping him from flirting with the town moms at the pool. You supposed he figured that would get you to give, but you didn't.

Honestly, the whole situation was kind of strange. You both played it by ear really. Neither quite having the guts to announce the relationship. You wanted to, but you hadn't convinced Billy. Not yet.

"Steve!" shouted a voice, jostling you out of your stupor.

"What do you want?" Steve groaned. 

"Erica, I think you've had enough," said the voice you recognized as Lucas.

"You ain't the boss of me," she retorted. "I want to try the fudge swirl."

You glanced back to see Robin roll her eyes, but get a little sample anyway. Then you caught the eyes of Max, who was staring at you. She knew, didn't she? Goosebumps raised across your skin, and you shot up out of your seat.

"I'll see you later, Stevie!" you called, awkwardly backing out of the shop. "Movie night tonight, my place! Bring Robin!"

You ran farther into the mall until you couldn't see the Scoops Ahoy sign. You weren't sure how much longer you could keep this up. If Max was catching on, it was only a matter of time before she told the others. And then - Steve. What were you going to do? Billy wasn't going to be happy.

Max hated that you always ran away. She couldn't figure out what it was. You'd hung around with them before. Before Steve and Billy graduated. When she was still new, and trying to figure this whole 'Upside Down' thing out. She'd heard the others whisper occasionally about missing you. Then Steve would utter out a pitiful, me too.

Something had changed. And Max was going to figure out what.

"Right, movie night!" Steve had called weakly back. His grin fading quickly. He slumped onto the counter, face in his palms. "Honestly don't know why they bother anymore. Not like they're ever around for anything."

"Maybe we can help," offered Max. This was just the opportunity she’d needed.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Right, and how are you gonna do that?"

Mike jumped in then, "I mean, [Name]'s been acting weird. Maybe we can figure out why. We can snoop in on your movie night. Poke around a little, see if we can find anything."

Lucas nodded. "Maybe Eleven can use her powers to spy on them."

"We are not using El." Mike sent a sharp look at him.

"Okay. Sorry." Lucas held up his hands. "I was just saying."

"I dunno," Steve mused, "I don't want to seem like I don't trust [Name]..."

"You're never going to figure it out if you don't do anything," said Robin, finally free of Erica.

Steve hesitated then sighed. "Fine. But you're in and out. [Name] can't know I let you do this."

You wandered around the mall some before deciding to head home. What were you going to do? You couldn't have Steve find out before you were ready to tell him. Though you should've told him in the first place. You paced anxiously around your room. Watching as the clock ticked down.

Six o'clock came faster than you'd hoped. Steve and Robin were going to be at your house at any minute. You just had to act natural. You'd gotten out snacks, made popcorn, and rewound the VHS you'd rented. Now you were sat nervously on the couch.

You screamed as Steve's voice came from behind you. "So what's on the roster tonight?"

"Steve, what the hell?" you panted, twisting to see your friends behind you. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"Thought we'd surprise you," he said with a smile. Then produced a quart carton. "We brought ice cream. I'll go get spoons."

"We nicked it from one of the freezers at work," Robin said, sitting beside you. "They won't miss it."

Steve crept lightly to the kitchen. Banging around a drawer or two, so you didn’t get suspicious, before going to the back door. There stood the kids. He eased it open for them, careful not to make any noise. The group came gently stepped into the kitchen.

"Remember - you're in and out. You were never here," Steve whispered, then pointed down the back hallway. He grabbed three spoons, going back to sit with you on the sofa.

"Should we be doing this?" Will asked as they made their way up the stairs.

"[Name] used to hang out with us all the time. Then they just - stopped," Mike said, "Don't you want to know why?" 

"But who says we're even going to find anything?" Will landed on a creaky step, causing a whole group pause. But all they heard was the movie. So they continued.

"Well then at least we tried, right?" Dustin asked. There were quiet whispers of agreement.

Max had a feeling they were going to find something. She just wasn't sure what yet. They split into groups, looking around the four upper rooms. Luckily enough, Max found your room. El was attached to her side.

"There's got to be something in here," Max muttered. "[Name] has been coming to my house a lot so -"

"Max," El said, pointing to something on your desk.

Max peered over her shoulder. Call me if you want your book back - Billy was scrawled on a piece of paper beside a number. It was next to your desk phone. The writing was nearly worn off, the creases of the paper soft. It'd been opened and closed a lot. There were little hearts drawn in blue pen. Along with this jerk better answer written in small script on the bottom.

"So [Name] does know Billy…" murmured Max. "Let's see if there's anything else."

Although El was hesitant, they did shuffle through your things. Random papers, clothes, books, scattered shoes - nothing interesting. Not until they looked under your bed. Max pulled out a box. From Billy was scribble across the top.

Inside was an empty chocolate box, a couple cards, a dried flower, a small stuffed animal, and a few other little things. Max knew immediately what this meant. She'd been right all along. But she didn't know how to feel about it.

"They're dating," Max said, showing the box to the guys. "[Name] and Billy are dating."

"Cool now we know," said Mike.

Dustin reached for the box, "Are you serious? We gotta tell Steve."

"No." Max shook her head, pulling the box away. "If [Name] didn't tell Steve, there's gotta be a reason."

"Yeah," groaned Lucas. "Like Billy is a big jerk."

Max glanced around the group.“But -”

"Friends don't lie, Max," said El, giving her a meaningful look.

Mike nodded. "He deserves to know."

Max deliberated silently, the box gripped tight in her hands. Then nodded, "Yeah, fine. We'll tell Steve."

"Uh, guys," Will said, coming from one of the rooms. "I don't think we'll have to."

"What do you mean?" Max's heart leaped.

Will's face was distraught. "Billy is here."

"Shit, we gotta go," rushed Lucas, heading towards the stairs.

Max caught his arm. "No, if we leave now he'll see us. We have to wait."

You about jumped out of your skin when there was a knock on your door. It was a little after seven. You weren't expecting anyone. You shoved off the couch, saying you'd be back. Your stomach dropped as you opened the door.

"Shit!" you hissed, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind you. “What’re you doing here?”

Billy was there on your stoop. Trying to pose in some sort of sexy way, with that smile that made your stomach tingle. He was smelling nice, looking good - and totally unexpected. You glanced around, making sure no one was around. He seemed surprised at your reaction.

"Thought you'd be happy to see me," he said, "You ready to go?"

"Go?" you panicked, "go where?"

Billy's face fell. "I was taking you to see that movie -"

You ran a hand through your hair. "I thought that was tomorrow!"

Billy sighed, rubbing his eyes with his finger. "What day is it?"

"It's Monday," you nearly shouted, Billy cursed under his breath. He’d gotten the days mixed up. "Movie Monday with Robin and -"

"Harrington…" growled Billy, glaring behind you.

"Yes," you groaned. "I've been reminding you for months that Mondays are -"

"Months?" that was Steve's voice. And it was cold and angry and hurt.

You tensed up, your stomach growing cold. Your heart raced painfully, blood rushing deafeningly past your eardrums. This was not good. You turned to find Steve and Robin in the doorway. Steve was pissed, and Robin looked like she was trying not to laugh. You were royally fucked.

"Steve, I -" you started. Billy pulled you toward him, holding you close. Glancing at him, you feared the hatred in his eyes. 

Steve's glare went between you and Billy. "When were you going to tell me? Once you two were off on your honeymoon!! What the hell are you even thinking?!"

You tugged against Billy's steel grip. You were going to have bruises. "Steve, I can explain!" 

"Don't bother, glad to know he's more important," he spat, then slammed the door. You pounded on it with your fists. "Go away!"

"You're in my house!" you cried, "Can't we talk about this?"

"So you can what?" yelled Steve, ripping open the door. "Lie to me some more?"

“Easy there, Harrington,” Billy warned. You elbowed him and shook your head.

You groaned loudly, your throat becoming thick as you choked back tears. "This is why I didn't tell you! This is why we kept us a secret. Because I knew you'd have a problem with this!"

"So now I'm the problem?! I'm pretty sure you're dating the problem!" Steve gestured to Billy as he stepped forward.

Billy tensed behind you. You wedged yourself between the two. "Behave, both of you! For God's sake!"

Tears brimmed over and down your cheeks. Frustration, anger, despair - this was why you'd wanted to pull Steve aside and tell him. Talk to him about it.  Anything but this, this was the worst way to find out. You jumped off the side of the small porch, into the flowerbed. Then stormed off around the house.

“Where the hell are you going?” Steve yelled; Billy snapped something at him.

"Oh shit," groaned Dustin as you spotted the group. They were hiding in the backyard. The box was still in Max’s hands. She tried to hide it.

You sniffled. "What the hell are you all doing here?"

Dustin paused. "Well I, uh -"

You spied the Billy Box in Max’s hands and gasped. "Were you in my house?! Did Steve put you up to this?!" 

Nobody spoke. But guilt and panic were evident on their faces. Your chest ached, realizing that he really didn’t trust you. He didn’t trust you enough to wait for you to tell him what was going on. It hurt more that he didn’t come out and ask about it. You would’ve told him.

"No, I did," Max said, stepping forward. She held the box out to you. "I - I've seen you climb out of Billy's window. A lot. So I thought we'd come and -"

"You don't have to cover for him, Max. It's okay. Billy and I are dating, so - surprise. I'm sorry, guys." You took the box and sank to the ground. "I should've told you. But I was scared. We were scared."

"Why?" Max asked, sitting beside you. Everyone sat where they were.

You wiped your eyes. "Your stepdad isn't the nicest. Billy was afraid, somehow, someway, he'd end up taking his frustration with Billy out on me instead. And you know Billy doesn't have the best reputation. I didn't want to tell anyone yet, because I knew I'd lose people over it. Girl friends who wanted him, and guy friends who hated him. My family is always griping about the Hargrove Boy. And Steve, God Steve - I was so scared of losing him. But I did anyway, cause I'm a fucking idiot…I should've just said something. Billy and I have been dating for eight months, ya know. Well before we even graduated. Fuck, I'm so stupid…he's not going to forgive me for this one. And Billy…"

There was a hand on your shoulder, and someone sat near to you. You were overtaken by the scent of cologne. You looked up to see Billy, no black eyes in sight. He gave you a small smile, leaning his forehead to yours.

"I'm not going anywhere," he breathed. "I'm the screw-up. The hell are all these kids doing here anyway?"

You shook your head a little. "This was my fault. If we were keeping it a secret, I should've told Steve, at least. Then he wouldn’t have had to tell them to spy on me. And I'm sorry…" You looked over at the cluster of teens. "I ignored you guys. It was stupid. I shouldn't have done that. I was just so worried about slipping. Then you would say something to Steve…"

"It's okay, [Name]," said Dustin, "I totally get it. My girlfriend, Shelly -"

"I think what Dustin's trying to say," Lucas interrupted, rolling his eyes. "Is that we forgive you."

You smiled. "Thanks, Stevie won't."

"I might." You flinched, turning to find Steve wandering slowly into the backyard. "If you stop calling me Stevie. It always did drive me crazy."

"Steve." You got part of the way up, but he sat on your other side. So you lowered yourself back to the ground. You could feel the tension coming from either side of you.

Steve glared at your boyfriend. "If he makes you happy, I don't wanna get in the way of that. I'm still pissed that you didn't tell me. - but I don't think I would've told me either. I’m sorry about sending them in. I guess, I just got tired of waiting for you to talk about what was up."

Steve took your hand, which caused Billy tense up. He grumbled under his breath, but you elbowed him. 

"I'm still your friend," Steve assured. "I promise. But tell me next time you're secretly dating someone. This was honestly the worst way -"

"If Billy hadn't gotten the dates mixed up," you gritted out, shooting a glare at him over your shoulder. He shrugged sheepishly. "Then I've would've told you differently."

“How’d you two meet anyway?” Steve nodded to the box in your lap. “And what’s that?”

Heat filled your cheeks as Billy leaned in and tapped the box lid. “What is that, doll face?”

Steve grumbled at the pet name but you didn’t pay it any mind. You sighed. “I let Billy borrow one of my textbooks when we were in school. He said that if I wanted it back, that I’d have to call him. I put it off until I couldn’t anymore. So I called him, and we sort of - hit it off. We agreed to keep it a secret until the time was right. I didn’t think it would be this long. I’ve kept everything he gave me in this box.”

Billy chuckled, kissing your cheek.  “Didn’t know you were so sentimental.”

You puffed out air, “Yeah, well…”

"You nerds gonna come finish this movie or what?" Robin called out the back door. You'd honestly forgotten she was there.

"Yeah," you called, "we're coming. Get another bowl of popcorn going!"

You stood as Robin disappeared back into the house. You pulled Steve to his feet and held out a hand to Billy. You clutched the box and Billy’s hand, heading for the house. 

"You kids coming, or you plan on hanging out here all night?" you asked, nodding towards the door. They couldn't scramble to their feet and in the door fast enough. You caught Max's arm, though, pulling her aside. "Hey, Max, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I mean, I am dating your brother. I should've said something, I hope you can forgive me."

"Yeah, I’m sorry about going through your stuff," Max said, hugging you. You hugged her back. "Just don't get married in secret too. I want to be in your wedding."

You laughed, then the two of you headed in. Billy and Steve moved awkwardly around each other. Glaring when they thought the other wasn't looking. You rolled your eyes, going to the couch next to Robin. The kids kicked the guys to the floor. Billy leaned against your knees. And Steve sat leaning against the far arm of the couch.

You were really going to have to work on their friendship. But at least you were forgiven. Now there was just everyone else to tell.

[cottoncanb]

Tired

Hey babies, here’s something angsty for you :) Should I make a continuation to this that’s a reconciliation? Let me know.

Synopsis: The one in which Y/N is tired of being treated like an option.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Profanity

Enjoy it and tell me what you liked.

Love you all xx

———————————————————————

What started off the chain reaction was something small; he forgot to come home for dinner. It seemed like something small but with his having missed out on so any things; dinners, dates, movies or just coming home. The anger you had toward Zion had subsided weeks ago, now you were just hurt and disappointed.

He had come home from tour; he’d been gone six months and had been home for two weeks. In the two weeks he was home, you could count on one hand how any times you had seen him. At first you thought it was normal that he would want to spend time with his friends, he hadn’t seen them in months and needed to catch up with them, unwind and relax. But as you saw him less and less, you began to wonder why you weren’t a priority. Why is it that he can skip a studio session to go to a party but whines and throws a tantrum when you ask him to reschedule a studio session because you want to go one a date with him.

“I can’t shift my schedule around because you want me to sit on a couch and watch a movie with you,” he said in a strained voice. He ran his hands through his hair and tugged on the blonde strands.

You stood like a wounded puppy, eyes trained on the eggshell coloured tiles in your kitchen, focusing on each crack to sop the hurt from showing on your face.

“If you say it like that it just sounds silly. I just want to spend some time with you Z,” you said tentatively. You didn’t want him to explode like he had previously at your simple request.

“You know we’re working on an album. You know how hard the writing process is. You know I can’t take breaks but here you are asking me to jeopardise my career.”

You felt you face twist at his accusation but didn’t react because you were tired; tired of trying to make time for someone who clearly didn’t want to spend time with you. With his last words, you weakly nod your head and retreat to your shared bedroom and take refuge in your bed. You weren’t going to cry over this because this wasn’t worth your tears. If he won’t spend time with you, you’ll spend time with you and find others who will. Two can play that game.

Two weeks passed since his rejection and the two of you have barely spoken. You see each other when you wake up, when he leaves for work and when either of you comes home. At the end of the day either of you come home, share a solemn greeting with the other and say they’re tired before going to sleep; either this or one is asleep before the other comes home. You’re normally the first to come home.

He came home late in the night, smelling like alcohol and weed. Sometimes you think your mind is playing tricks on you when you catch a whiff of a female scent. But he wouldn’t cheat on you right? This was Zion, if there’s a problem he’d address it and not beat around the bush and play hide and seek with you. At this point, you didn’t know because this felt a lot like hide and seek.

Eventually, you get tired of the games and decide to be the mature one and try one more time to ask you partner if he wants to spend some time together tonight. You had a rough idea of what you wanted the evening to look like but the overview was romantic. Sensual music, good food, candles and intimacy. You were going to go and buy a whole new outfit, get your hair done and buy a sexy lingerie set.

To you surprise, when you asked Zion he agreed to the idea. You hadn’t meant to let the gasp of surprise escape your lips but you did anyways. You saw his eyes light up as well at the idea of spending time with his girl. Before he left the house he leaned down and pressed a kiss on your lips, you smiled into it and he did too before parting and pressing a kiss on your forehead and walking out of the door.

You decided to take the day off of your responsibilities and put your all into what would be the perfect evening. You de sure to go get your hair and nails done. Afterwards you did around the mall looking for the perfect outfit and lingerie. When you stumbled upon the outfit you couldn’t help but to squeal in excitement. An hour later you found the lingerie and made your way to your apartment to cook Zion's favourite dish and desert.

The two of you agreed to meet at seven so you started to get ready at five. You took a long bath and got yourself cleaned up and smelling like a dream. You did your makeup and got dressed; applauding yourself as you walked past the mirror because you looked like the heavens had hand delivered you to earth.

As seven came you sat on the couch and fidgeted nervously. You weren’t sure why you were nervous. Maybe it was the fact that you really missed hi and to finally have him all to yourself was making you feel emotions for him you hadn’t felt for a really long time. They came crashing down on you and you get jittery.

Eight came and you sat in the same spot with your phone in hand, contemplating calling him.

Nine came and went with your first glass of wine in hand.

Ten came with anger.

Eleven came with hurt and disappointment.

At midnight you sat facing the door when he finally stumbled in, the scent of weed and alcohol followed him closely. You felt the anger start to bubble again. He took his shoes off and walked to the kitchen, stopping once he saw the set table and food on the now cold stove. He let his head hang low for a moment before he walked over to the stove and lifter the lid of a pot to inhale the delicious scent of your cooking. He set the lid back quietly and walked out of this kitchen.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself? Or am I going to hear the same excuses I’ve heard the other five times you’ve pulled this bullshit stunt?”

Your voice startled him, your tone sharp and icy as you wanted him to heart the pain he had caused yet again. You were tired of taking his shit and being treated like an option. Enough was enough.

“Can we not do this right now? I’m sorry, I know I fucked up. Let’s go to bed.”

“No. You don’t get to dictate how I feel anymore Zion. I’m tired of dealing with your half-assed effort in this relationship.”

“Half-assed?” he tutted before sucking his teeth and rolling his eyes. “I don’t nag you every day; I let you have your space. I don’t bitch and whine when you do something I don’t like or when something doesn’t go my way. So watch what you’re saying there.” He begins to lose his temper. He doesn’t know why he’s lost it, he’s the one who missed the date, he’s the one who came late but he won’t let you win this. He’s going to have the last word.

“I cannot believe you have the nerve to get mad at me. I didn’t forget my date with my girlfriend. I didn’t disrespect my girlfriend. I haven’t been avoiding you. I haven’t been an absolute ass. I haven’t made my girlfriend feel like shit,” you say as your voice begins to rise with each downfall of his you listed.

“Why are you still on this? I told you were working on the new album. Besides it’s not like I’m missing anything when I don’t come home,” he said as he gestures at your attire. You had changed into sweatpants and an oversized shirt because you became annoyed at the tight dress and uncomfortable shoes. All for someone who didn’t give two shits about the effort you put into things.

He knew that was a low blow but he couldn’t stop himself from spewing hurtful things at you.

You felt the impact of his words in your chest, it felt like a punch. You take steps closer to him until he’s a few inches away from you.

“You have a lot of nerve Caleb Zion Kuwonu. A shit load of it. Fuck you. I’m tired of your shit.”

“I’m tired of your shit too. Are you going to do something about it?” He knew you wouldn’t do anything because you two had had countless fights that only ended with you between the sheets and making love. He didn’t know this tie was different. He didn’t know the truth behind your words. You were tired.

You glared at him before moving past hi and to your shared bedroom. You heard his footsteps moving quickly behind yours.

“Don’t you dare follow me.”

His footsteps continues but you paid him no mind as you pulled out a duffle bag and grabbed whatever you could so you could leave and get as far away from this stranger as possible. This wasn’t the Zion you fell in love with. As you worked your way around your- now his- room, you saw him standing stiff as it dawned on him, finally, that this wasn’t like previous times where you two would fight and make up.

“Wait, why do you have a bag? Why are you packing? Where are you going?”

You let out a sigh as you continued getting your overnight bag ready.

“Hey, wait. Look at me. You can’t leave. We can talk this out,” he said as he grabbed your arms and made you face him. The face the he met made him grimace, your stare cold and hard. You moved yourself out of his grip and walked to the bathroom.

He followed close behind you and closed the door. Turning to face an angry you.

“Come on, baby, talk to me.”

“What, so now I’m baby? Get out of my way.”

“You’ve always been my baby, don’t say that.

“No. I haven’t. I lost that title when you stopped caring for me. When you stopped looking at me the way you used to. When you stopped asking me how my day was. When you stopped loving me.”

“What, what? What do you mean stoppe-? I love you now and forever,” he said as he took cautious steps toward you but all you did is step further away from him.

“No. You don’t. When you love someone, you tell them you do. You tell them they’re beautiful, you give them the reassurance and the validation. You let them know that you care and you don’t care Zion,” you say and your voice cracks as you say his name.

You feel your eyes begin to well with tears as you look hi in the eyes. This is when the wall he had built up began to crumble. Seeing you exposed to him like this made his heart clench because he finally saw how much hurt and ain he had you experiencing.

“But I do love you...” he says weakly. He doesn’t know what else to say to help his case. He feels so strongly for you that he doesn’t know how to put it into words so he tries to communicate it with actions. He grabs your face with his two hands and kisses you with so much passion and emotion that he hopes you feel. He is, however, met with your stiff lips. You don’t kiss him back but instead shove him off of you.

“No. Not this time. I don’t feel like dealing with you right now. I am tired of feeling like I’m not good enough. Like I will always come, not second, but third to you. I’m tired of you putting your friends and having fun before me. I’m tired of looking in the mirror and beating myself up for not interesting you anymore. I’m tired of waking up with a heavy heart because you don’t know how to act right.”

As you speak, Zion blubbers protests to your words. He didn’t know he made you feel this way. You’re the most beautiful thing in the world to him. He loved you more than he loved himself. He had just been stressed because he couldn’t get one lyric down that fir the vision and sound of the album. He was frustrated and took it out on you. This was unfair he know. You didn’t even know he was struggling and yet still he went out of his way to treat you like shit.

“I’m leaving. Call me when you have your mind figured out. Or just don’t. I don’t care anymore.”

You moved past him and out of the bathroom, then out of the bedroom and finally out of the house while he stood shocked. His mouth went dry and his heart beat was deafeningly loud.

What had he done?

[gansey-just-gansey]

Punk History 101 Part Fourteen

Blue had to admit to herself that she did clean up well. She was in another dress, one that her cousin Orla had sent her back in freshman year. It was slightly inappropriate, black and tight, with geometric shapes cut out strategically, but it was by far the nicest piece of clothing Blue owned. She balanced it out with innocent flats and very minimal makeup. The silver hoops were back this time as well.

She met Adam by the door where he was waiting for her in his best suit, the one he took her to prom in. He looked her over appreciatively. “You look amazing,” he said with a kiss on her cheek.

“You're looking pretty good tonight, too,” she responded, adjusting the small purse on her shoulder. “Where's Ronan?”

A knock sounded just as she asked and Adam opened the door to reveal Ronan, also dressed up in a nice suit. “Hey,” he said softly. His eyes raked down Adam's body slowly before Adam stepped forward for a chaste kiss. Well, chaste for them. Adam was kissing his way across the little bit of the tattoo that hooked out from Ronan's collar before Blue cleared her throat. Ronan's eyes snapped up to her. “Damn, maggot, look at you. Gansey's going to lose his shit.”

“Thanks.” Blue rolled her eyes. “Are we all ready to go?”

“I think so, Gansey's already at the gallery, told me to have you text him when we got there. HE had to go in early for opening night.”

They piled into the BMW and made the drive across town to the building the school had rented out for the gallery. It was was decorated with fairy lights and a sign outside advertised that it was an open house event by the college.

Blue was just texting Gansey as they stepped into the building when strong arms wrapped around her from behind. “Give me one good reason I shouldn't say fuck it, take you home, and bend you over my couch right now,” Gansey growled, pressing his face into her neck. Adam and Ronan laughed and left to do a lap around the room to give them a little privacy.

Blue smirked and reached up to pat Gansey's perfectly styled hair. “Blink 182. Also, because you got a whole section of this gallery dedicated to you. You didn't just get one piece in, you got your entire project on display. That's something to be proud of.”

“I'm also rather proud of the noises I can draw out of you with just my fingers, wouldn't you prefer to see that?” A shiver ran up Blue's spine.

“I sure would,” a voice said right beside them. Gansey jumped slightly but made no move to let Blue go as Henry laughed and held out two flutes of champagne. Blue blushed and gratefully accepted one of the glasses as an excuse to look anywhere but the two boys. Gansey waved his off and Henry kept it for himself. “I just came from your section, Gansey boy. Stunning as expected. Of course the subject made it easy to enjoy as well.” He winked at Blue and her flush crept down to her neck and chest.

“Thanks,” she murmured, taking a healthy gulp of the champagne.

“Thank you, Henry,” Gansey said, straightening up as his eyes fell on something in the crowd.

Blue stood on tiptoes to find what he was looking at, but didn't find anything of interest. Adam and Ronan were kissing in a corner, of course, but Blue didn't see anyone else recognizable. Then she finally found Gansey's project on the far wall. It was made of small prints of some of the pictures he'd taken, surrounding an extremely large print of Blue smoking in Gansey's lap. There were three people standing in front of it, and they were what held Gansey's attention.

“Excuse us. We'll see you before you leave?” Blue told Henry, the last part coming out like a question.

“I'm actually leaving now, but I'm sure I'll see you soon. Let me know how the rest of the night goes.” He tipped his champagne glass into Blue's, filling it back up and wandered off.

“Come on, there are people I want to introduce you to,” Gansey said, pulling Blue's hand to guide her through the crowd towards his project section.

“Dick!” the man in front of Gansey's project boomed.

Blue looked around, trying to find who had offended the man enough for him to start yelling names.

“Hello, Dad,” Gansey replied.

Blue looked up in surprise. “Dick?” she mouthed at him. Gansey just shook his head at her. She pressed her lips together to stop the laughter from escaping. Dick was going to get an earful tonight. Then her brain caught up to his answer. “Dad?”

“Yes, Blue, this is my mom and dad and my sister, Helen. Everybody, this is Blue, my girlfriend,” he said proudly, wrapping one arm around her again.

“It's lovely to meet you,” his mother said, stepping forward to hug her.

“Thank you, you too,” Blue said, shaking hands with Gansey's father and sister.

“So, is this you, Blue?” Helen asked, tipping her drink towards the large picture of Blue smoking.

“Helen...,” Gansey said in warning.

“It's fine,” Blue waved him off. The champagne was making her braver than she might have normally been while meeting her boyfriend's family for the first time. “Yes, it's me.” Gansey's mother smiled politely and looked away from Blue and his father was looking anywhere but the main picture.

“So you're a smoker then,” Helen pushed.

“Helen,” Gansey barked.

“She said it was fine,” she smiled sweetly at Gansey.

“Yes, I'm a smoker,” Blue said, draining the last of her drink.

“Hasn't Dick here given you a long spiel about the dangers of smoking yet?”

“He has,” Blue met Helen's eyes. “But I'm not one to let others dictate what I do with my life. I know it's a bad habit but,” she shrugged,” it relaxes me. I'll probably try to quit again after I graduate and things are less hectic.”

“That's a good plan,” Gansey agreed, pressing his lips to the top of her hair.

“Well, it's a top notch project, with quite a beautiful subject, if you don't mind my saying,” Gansey's father said.

“Indeed,” Gansey's mother nodded along. “You simply must come by for dinner sometime.”

“Of course, I'd love to,” Blue agreed easily, taking another flute of champagne from a passing server.

“Well, we will take our leave now, we're quite proud of you, son,” Gansey Sr. dropped a hand on Gansey Jr.'s shoulder. “Don't be a stranger.”

“Bye, I'll see you soon,” Gansey called after them. As soon as they were out of earshot, Gansey turned to her. “Sorry about that. I probably should've given you some warning.”

“It's okay. They seem...,” Blue trailed off.

“Pretentious?”

“I was going to go with nice but yeah, a little.” She laughed.

Gansey laughed with her and pulled her closer. “So it's nearly the end of the semester.”

“Yeah...?” Blue looked up at him. He was strangely serious now.

“Have you given any more thought to... you know, moving in with me?” his voice cracked on the last word.

She had actually, since she and Gansey had made up, but she still wasn't sure she wanted to. What if he did something like this again and she had no escape? “I don't know if it's a good idea....”

“Please? I swear I will never hurt you again. And if I do, you can have the room and I'll be the one to leave the apartment, not you. You never have to worry about this happening again,” he pleaded, guessing her thoughts.

“I don't know, Gansey.”

He sighed dramatically. “You'll warm up to the idea. I'll get Henry to harass you until you agree,” he teased, skimming his nose along her jawline.

Henry....

“Gansey, I have to tell you something.”

“Hmmmm?” he hummed, a finger replacing his nose along the line it was running so he could lean down and kiss her neck gently.

“It's about Henry.” He added a little suction at the base of her neck. “And me.”

Gansey pulled back to look at her. “What about you and Henry?” he asked quizzically.

“While we were broken up, actually the night I came to talk to you when I was drunk, I sort of... kissed Henry.” Gansey's eyes grew perceptibly darker. “Well not kissed, but kind of started to. I was drunk and he didn't let it go too far, said he was there to convince me to talk to you. But I tried to and if you want us all to move in together, I think you should know,” she rushed the words out before Gansey could get too angry.

“You kissed Cheng?” he rumbled. “Is that what he meant that night when he said he couldn't do me like that?”

“Yes. Well kind of. Really all I did was lick his lip but then he stopped me and-”

Gansey held a hand up to stop her. “We're leaving.” He grabbed her hand and started to lead her through the mass of people. “I have an idea.”

“What idea? You didn't talk to Ronan and Adam, and don't you have to be here to talk to people about your project?” she tried as he all but dragged her out.

“I'll talk to them later and I can come again tomorrow.” He looked down at her with an odd look in his eyes. They looked... hungry? “Or next weekend. Whenever. Right now, we're going to meet Henry at our place.”

He pulled out his phone to text Henry as they made their way to the Pig. Blue felt her stomach drop and she sat in silence the whole ride back to the apartment, picking at her finger nails nervously. Henry's car was already parked in the lot when they arrived, having had a head start to campus.

He was leaning against the wall across from Gansey's door when they exited the elevator. Henry looked up with a smile that dropped into confusion when he caught the looks on their faces. “What's up?”

Gansey said nothing and unlocked the door to let them in. He gently shut the door. “Tell me everything,” he demanded.

“Well, we were at Cabeswater,” Blue began. “Henry found me there and we started dancing. I was really drunk and mad and- I'm sorry.”

Henry looked between her and Gansey with wide eyes, having figured out what they were talking about. “It didn't mean anything, Gansey. She wasn't with it.”

“You were dancing and then what?” Gansey pressed. He was playing with his lip rings now, something he usually only did when Blue did something particularly sexy. What?

“Then he asked me to go outside so we could talk. He wanted me to talk to you again but I was so mad at you that I- I tried to kiss him. I just hugged him and licked his lip and then he told me about the gallery spot. That's all that happened, I swear,” Blue said, silently willing him to understand.

“That's it?”

“That's it,” Henry agreed.

“You must have some sort of feelings toward him if you were willing to kiss him.”

“No, it didn't mean anything!” Blue repeated Henry.

“I know you, Blue, you wouldn't kiss him if you didn't feel anything for him. And Henry, I know you like Blue, you've been talking about how hot she is and flirting with her since you met her,” Gansey insisted. Henry opened his mouth to defend them again, but Gansey cut him off, his voice slow and deep. “Kiss her.”

[sighingsiren-tales]

ZODIAC MEN

So, I haven’t really said it much here but I have been healing from something terrible and this was my way of healing. I love astrology and this is something that I may start permanently in addition to the fan fiction I write here. I hope you enjoy it~Kae

*Note, this is from the perspective of a Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Mercury, Virgo Venus and Rising and Scorpio Mars. (I’m a female) 

ARIES

❌My middle school boyfriend. Ha, you still hit me up and tell me i look cute and how we’re gonna have kids from time to time, maybe even flirt with me here and there. can’t say i don’t like it the attention but that ship sailed long ago. Funny, a definite goofball, popular after his insecurity phase was over. 

❌one of the first guys i fucked in college. lol you were fun, fun as hell. you were always easy going, funny and matched my energy relatively well but you were most definitely a fuckboy (sorry) you just liked pussy and women too much for us to ever work, assuming you even wanted us to work. You still tried to hit on me when i had a boyfriend (who was your roommate) and when you had a girlfriend. Bold as hell and he was h u g e.

❌ah, one of the few of your kind that I actually like on campus. loud personality but actually very timid. always asks me how to seduce people and tells me that I get what i want relatively easy. a ball of insecurities and emotion. learn your value king and get over that. 

TAURUS

❌over emotional man child lmao sorry. you want someone to be your mother and hold your hand and i can honestly say no one has hurt me like you have. too self absorbed, needs reassurance, can’t be himself. drinks and smokes too much. navy dude.

❌one of my self proclaimed brothers. he’s a bit of a hard ass and a commitmentphobe but he has a big heart and truly acts like a second dad haha. i love him as a friend. caring, soft, funny, protective asf (especially of me), won’t let me walk back to my dorm alone. 

❌my little brother. a pain in my ass. acts tough and hard, uses a lot of slang. needs attention and reassurance often. loves hard but can be annoying. told me he cared about me when i ran away. needs a healthier way to show his emotions. we butt heads a lot as kids. stubborn as hell. love you though kid 

❌ahh, this one (he’s a cusp kid, 4/20 hehe blaze it). honestly a super hero. so caring and sweet but also kinky and your handprint is kinda still on my ass. i had a crush on you before you did. honest, respectful, loveeessssss his mom, has a lot of female friends (which makes me a bit jealous). anime buddy. patient, protective, a bit of a temper (it’s kinda hot), the best kind of man. can get me to open up but strengthen me at the same time?? my superman, the only man i don’t mind being vulnerable to. reminds me of an anime character. a warrior with a heart of g

GEMINI

 ❌fun while it lasted and i’m pretty sure i was your flavor of the month and you were mine as well. you were funny, and meshed with my energy well. didn’t last long in bed tho😬 your laugh was contagious. really good dancer. can’t hold a relationship for your LIFE. not good with emotions, a free spirit. kinda wishy washy. didn’t like it when i avoided hanging out. 

❌quiet, had an intimidating presence. everyone thought you were scary but you were funny, logical and very headstrong. strong silent type. always opened up with me but no one else. has a “lone wolf mentality” strongest man i know. made me happy with who i am, gave the best advice. unmovable, easy going. the one i stay with at all family functions. a big chunk of my heart. love you big bro.

CANCER

 ❌absolute trash lmao. always attracted drama and stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. ultimate instigator. i think you just need a diary and a xanax. everyone said you tried to break up me and my (then) boyfriend?? cute but annoying. an acquired taste (and that’s me being nice)

❌my little baby brother. the sweetest thing upon planet earth. always asks me if i’m okay, comes to me when he’s sad and cried when i told him i was leaving for college. tells me he loves my hair and nails and always protects his big sis. always excited to see me. so smart, a damn genius actually. amazing with technology. i love you so much little man.

LEO

 ❌ahh my first love. so caring, tender, sweet but had too many scars and wounds for us to heal together. we made so many mistakes with one another but you were always trying to be my own personal naruto and, for a while, you were. and for those few months you were my everything. kept me going when i wanted to die. kissed my scars all the time. always bought me food. loved to spoil me. had a temper and hid his emotions. put everyone before himself too much. things ended bad and our egos clashed. i hurt you. i’m sorry. the last words we said to each other were good bye and i love you. 

❌someone at college who wants to fuck me lmao. always hugs me really tight, stares me down in a way where i know he’s undressing me mentally. says love is bullshit but wants a happy ending and i know it. also also, you’re not fucking me lmao.

VIRGO

 ❌my summertime coworker. a party animal, mentally resilient and smart as all hell. we fooled around once lmao but it never got far. funny as fuck. never spoke about what he had going on but i know he was hurting. a perfectionist, a scammer. 

❌sweet in a weird kinda of way. always asks if i’m okay. always asks if i need something, always willing to help. trusts me to make my own decisions and encourages me to think for myself and watch my back. hard working, quiet with bit of a hardshell. never lets anything dictate who he is. love you uncle. 

LIBRA

❌my distant friends ex; wishy washy. not very good with commitment. really cute room and good fashion sense. pretty lips; respectful and honest fuck boy. made a move on me once after a party once. pops in and out of my life. 

❌invited me to a gala once. loved the attention of having me on my arm. hated my ex. smoked weed a lot, easy going and soft spoken. never got angry, went along with anything. probably in jail or in some legal trouble right now.

SCORPIO

❌you wanna fuck me. lol i know you do and you’ve made it clear as the only thing you want me for. came up to my room and tried to barge in after i told you not to. kinda creepy. quiet. doesn’t say much. always seemingly where i am. in my same major, soooo tall, soft spoke voice. 

❌oh boy. obsessive. possessive, jealous. we were good friends. then you fell in love with me. i didn’t think of you that way. you told me it was okay and then began to blow up my phone with messages, text my friends to ask where i was and blow up on me when i said we needed space and cursed me out. safe to say we don’t talk anymore. when i blocked you, you emailed me an apology and asked my friend to tell me you’re sorry and give me your letter. overthinks a lot. always needs to be in the know and/or control. consuming. reallll timid and unconfident. weed addict. total beta male.

❌you’re sexy. i’ll give you that. and you’re smart. you pop and out of my life. easy going. sweet. quiet, distant and a little annoying with your wishy washyness. i took your virginity 😬 lmao yikes. always around a group of females. nice hair, always played in mine. really funny and the times where you matched my energy it was magic. 

SAGITTARIUS

❌lol uh i knew you in high school. went to harvard. super super attractive, very competitive and very funny. had a pretty chill vibe. i wanted to kiss you. had perfect teeth, the valedictorian of the class before me. 

❌a hardass, lol. sees things like they’re black and white. has a funny side, hilariousssss but in a mean kind of way. doesn’t show much emotions but you know he cares. blunt. caring in his own way. took me to get my first tattoo. affectionate in a awkward pat back type of way. when he sees me sad, he helps best he can although that’s not always in the best of ways. helped me get through my grammy’s death. my dad. 

CAPRICORN

 ❌ah the fwb that turned into my boyfriend. we should’ve never happened. i care for you but a relationship was a bad idea. we started based off sex. was fucking a lot of girls when when with me (9 of them lmao yikes 😬) aloof, funny, dorky, another anime buddy. thinks he knows everything, thinks he’s a god (literally), an emotional baby when it comes down to it. made me his reason and told me he loved me. i regret telling you i loved you too. gas s god complex and wants things to come to him with minimal effort. 

❌ahh, you always had a thing for me. you and everyone else told me. held my umbrella for me while we walked in the rain. told me i was perfect, always promised that you’d marry me. pop in my life from time to time. down with anything. 

AQUARIUS

❌ ahhh the forbidden fruit. distant, friendly, charming, a liar. very sexual, always complimented me and once told me he loved me(yikes). really cute, made me feel special, has been trying to get me for yrs. not sure if it’s just sex or if it’s more but not giving myself the chance to be hurt and find out. sometimes i wonder what we could’ve been but the drama attached to your back makes me think otherwise. i still think of you from time to time. great kisser. 

PISCES 

❌my self proclaimed older brother. really knowledgeable, wise, sweet, loves his girlfriend with all his heart. encourages me to open up. supports me the best way i need, not always want lol. funny, a meme lord, hilarious in a subtle way. knows he’s that bitch. has almost all female friends but still retains his masculinity perfectly stronger than he lets on. an absolute blessing. helped me learn to love who i was and to be open to living others.

❌a wanna be gangster. lmao wants to fuck me but not happening. a big ball of unsorted through emotions. needs to get over his toxic masculinity but soft, caring. a big ass baby. unfaithful and childish. needs to learn his self worth within himself. daddy issues.

[cieloxcnco]

yo te haré mía (cnco) - ch6

Chapter 6

Words: 3,500+

Warnings: little suggestive sexy stuff, nothing too awful. but God knows i’m not the best judge.

A/N: pretty major note- first person point of view was pissing me off. I’m gonna go back into the other chapters and slowly change it to narration, but I couldn’t say as much in the story with it only being told through Isabella’s eyes, so I’m going to switch it to basic third person now. I hope that’s not too confusing.

chapter 1 is here chapter 2 is here chapter 3 is here chapter 4 is here chapter 5 is here if you need to catch up.

The electricity of her climax sent tremors through her, clutching his body against hers as he also let go. He dug his teeth into Isa’s shoulder, groaning her name as his body shook. Nothing existed to them in this moment but her, him, and the way that being alone with him made her feel. She was beautiful, she was loved, she was everything. This together was perfect. And in a moment, once the high washed away with the waves of her orgasm, the anxiety returned and tied the knots in the pit of her stomach even tighter. The way her head was tossed on the pillow, the first sight when she opened her eyes was a photograph of her and her husband on their wedding day, and here she was betraying him and having sex with his best friend and bandmate. Catching his breath, Chris had collapsed on the bed beside her, so she spooned against him so she was facing away from him. Used to cuddling after being so intimate, his arm wrapped about her waist and pulled her into him, kissing the back of her head. “Te amo, preciosa.” “Yo también te amo,” she whispered, hoping he couldn’t hear her voice cracking. She moved her face against to wipe the escaped tear on the pillowcase. “¿Mi amor?” he asked quietly, knowingly. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing. I just missed you.” Isa shrugged and tried to wiggle herself so she was closer against him, her eyes still transfixed on her wedding photo. “It’s probably my hormones just being weird.” “Amor,” he insisted, “be honest. Please.” He knew her better than she knew herself and, to a degree, she hated that. She moreover was scared of it because it made her wonder if he could see the divide in her head and her heart. She took a deep calming breath and slowly exhaled, choked by the whimper that came out of her throat. And she admitted everything. “...The feelings I have for you scare me. I'm so in love with you - I never knew I could feel like this. But I love him too... He's been there for me through everything. He's loved me when I haven't deserved it... And how would I be able to hurt him by saying after I've created a life and a family with him that it doesn't matter because I'm in love with someone else?” The tears flowed freely now. She couldn’t have stopped them if she tried. “All I've ever done is make foolish choices and hurt people. And with him, that was supposed to change. How is that fair?” She gasped out again. “I love him. I do. I promised him forever… I just never expected…you…" He stroked her hair and trailed his fingertips over her collar. “I understand, mi amor. But… you could just talk to him.” Isabella scoffed. “Talk to him and say what? ‘You know, Zabdiel, all the effort that you've put into loving me and trying to make us work when I've been dragging you down and driving you insane was useless. We got married in a rush because I was pregnant but we grew up and said we loved each other so we just built our family to try to make us work, but guess what? I'm in love with someone else to the point that I don't know if I can be with you anymore. Oh, and on top of all that, it's one of your best friends. Hope you don't mind.’ Yeah, I’m sure that would go over really well.” He sighed and his arm around her went lax. “I know. And I don’t want my selfishness to dictate your emotions but… I just want to have our family, too. I can’t see my life with anyone but you by my side. ” It was difficult for her to speak clearly through the crying she still wouldn’t let him see. “I know, and that’s the other half of it... My feelings for you are so strong and I love you so much- how am I going to look at you and say I don't want to try because I'm scared?” He reached for her hand, tracing the pads of his fingers over hers. She shivered at that slight touch alone. “I'm scared of hurting a great man and my family, that I'm scared that you'll change your mind when you find out what it's really like being with me, that you'll leave and I'll have lost everything because I gambled when I'm safe where I am now?” He would have had a retort if she hadn’t been so upset. He would have countered that she wasn’t safe where she was because she was having an affair, that she would be better off leaving and being with him. But seeing her crying, he could only try to calm her. “You could never lose me. I love you too much. Whatever happens between us, with any of this, you’re stuck with me.” He hugged her tightly against his body for emphasis. “Like glue.” Through the lessened tears came a single giggle. “You’re stupid,” she laughed, taking his hand off her belly and kissing his wrist. She then bit her lip. There was one way to just get this emotion blocked out of her mind. “I love you,” he murmured, kissing the crown of her head again. “Now, come. No llores más. No te preocupes.” She arched her back and ground her hips back against his. “Make me stop thinking about it, Papi.” She could hear the pleasured exhale that left his lips and felt his growing desire return. “¿Estás segura?” “Fuck me til I forget about it, baby,” she begged, moaning at the thought. He gulped and, with concerted effort, pushed her backside away from his groin. “Que no.” She stopped in surprise. “What?” He sat up in bed, looking down at her sadly. “You do this sometimes and it worries me.” She turned over, looking up at him with her head on his stomach. “What are you talking about?” He shook his head. “When you don’t want to deal with your feelings, you turn off the emotional and revert to the physical. You can’t do that all the time. You have to let yourself feel.” She shut her eyes to try and block out what he was saying. But again, it was the truth because he knew her better than she knew herself. His apple watch vibrated with an alert that once he viewed it made him shift to move off the bed. “I should get going. I will talk to you tonight. But please think about what we discussed.” She nodded but turned back over; the idea of him getting dressed and leaving was too much to take. They never knew when this time now might have to be the last time, so each walk out of the door was possibly a gone and goodbye. She could only wallow in her usual sadness for a moment before she knew she had to sit up and get dressed. Her mother would be dropping Joaquin off from their morning in the park soon and she couldn’t be this sobbing mess in front of her son. She picked her clothes up from the floor and gingerly put them back on, facing away from him as she did. If she caught his gaze again, she was afraid she would shatter. Seeing she had put her wall back up, he sighed again, “I love you. I love you more than you could ever understand.” Ignoring her imposed distance, he walked to where she sat and cupped her face in his hands so he could kiss her forehead before he left. And he might have meant it low enough so she wouldn’t hear, but she caught his whisper before he shut the bedroom door behind him. “I love you enough to let you go and lose you if that’s what you really want.”

-

Christopher shut his own bedroom door behind him once he returned home, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses when he saw his blonde publicity stunt sitting on the bed in unnecessarily revealing negligee. Krista tucked her legs up against her chest and hugged her knees against her tightly. “Thought you’d be back earlier. You have a good day?” she prodded gently. “Sí,” he replied flatly, chucking his sweatshirt into the laundry basket in the corner of the room and setting his sunglasses atop the dresser. “More work in the studio?” she asked, gnawing on her lower lip. “Not today,” he said through an exhale, shedding all of his clothes except his boxers. “I’m only trying to make civil conversation with you, amor,” she said softly. “Don’t call me that,” he seethed. Her eyes widened in surprise, but it wasn’t the first time she had heard that. “I’m sorry,” she offered. “I’m trying.” “Too hard,” he growled. Only when he rid his torso of his undershirt did she note the red marks across his back indicative of a woman having passionately raked her nails across his skin. “You were with her, weren’t you?” He didn’t bother with an answer this time, only a nod. Her lower lip quivered beneath her teeth. “You keep saying you’ll stop but you don’t. You love her, don’t you?” His nod this time was shorter, his body more tense as he stalked off to the bathroom. “Why can you love her and not me?” she whispered, but sure he heard when he stopped in his tracks. His tongue prodded the side of his cheeks in search of the proper answer, but he didn’t need to think for long. “Because she doesn’t need me. You depend on me for your fame. You use me. You don’t care about me.” “If she cared about you the way you think she does, you two would be together,” she hissed. He shut the bathroom door behind him and left her alone. And her worried frown turned into a sly grin- she’d hit a nerve because she was right. The other woman may have won the battle of the night, but she’d lose the war.

-

Isa kissed Joaquin’s temple as his breathing slowed and his eyelashes fluttered with the start of a dream. “Finalmente,” She heard Zabdiel whisper behind her from the doorframe. Isa immediately stiffened her shoulders at the thought. “Really? All he did today was wonder when papi was going to come home to play like he promised.” He groaned at the instant confrontation. “Nena, it was a lot at the studio today.” She wasn’t angry enough to let her tongue slip and say that she knew the band wasn’t working today because one of the other members was in their bed. Zabdiel had been working a lot on production, maybe he’d been there with the technicians alone? She excused him in her mind, but it did nothing to lower her fury. Their son’s heart was hurting over another broken word. “Tranquila,” he whispered, catching her wrist as she moved to walk past him. “Don’t wake him,” she growled lowly. “It took so long to get him to calm down.” “I’m sorry,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers, pulling her arms to rest around his neck. “What took you so long?” she asked, trying not to choke up. “You promised him, Zabdiel.” “I was there with Carlos and we got dinner. We lost track of time. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you,” he breathed into her ear. Catching the whiskey aroma of his exhale, it was no longer a secret as to why he and his brother hadn’t been aware of the passing hours. She was trying not to whine and sound defeated. “You’re a father and a husband, Zabdiel. You’re gone more often than not and you wonder why we’re left wanting. You only are home when it’s convenient for you, but we need you.” “I need you too,” he murmured, turning them so that he was facing the wall and backing me against it. She could tell now by his demeanor that he was no longer focused on their discussion and more on their physical proximity. “Zabdiel,” she said sharply. “Mi amor,” he groaned, leaning against her so she was pressed to the wall and his growing hardness was rubbing between her legs. “Zabdiel,” she protested. “No.” “You don’t want to let me have you?” he whispered, flicking the tip of his tongue along the shell of her ear. Her palms against the planes of his chest, Isa shoved him back enough to give her space to meet his shocked stare. “This isn't how you should have me,” she hissed. “Being married to me isn’t just about sex when it’s convenient. It’s more than showing me off on a red carpet as an accessory. It’s loving me and having me at your side, caring about the family we’ve made… The way you act lately makes me wonder if you really even care about me to stay married… Do you even still love me?” His stare grew more confused. “What are you talking about? You’re my wife.” She shook her head adamantly, biting her lip. “That isn’t what I asked you. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything.” His fingertip trailed down over her jawline, aligning the angle of their faces to kiss her. “I promised you forever.” He leaned in but she turned so his mouth pressed to her cheek. “That doesn’t necessarily mean anything either.” He stepped back and kept his eyes locked on hers, trying to find the answer before she could say it. “What are you doing? What are you saying?” She scoffed, whispering almost to herself, “You haven’t once now been able to say you love me.” She brushed her hair behind her ear and focused her stare on their shoes. “Maybe you don’t anymore… Maybe it’s time to let this go.”

-

Zabdiel wasn’t on the top of his game anywhere near ready for a performance, but here they stood. “Mangulicious,” Clara called, trying to coax a smile from him. “Listo?” “I guess,” he said slowly, adjusting the tuning of his guitar more than necessary. Maybe his fingers just needed focus. “Are you okay, principe?” she cooed, rolling her hand over his shoulder. He shrugged and walked his fingers over the frets, playing short chords. He wasn’t going to admit to her that last night he’d basically been propositioned an end to his marriage, lost himself in alcohol-fueled emotional tears, and slept the very little that he did in a guest bedroom to give space and settling time to the idea Isa had introduced. “It’s easy- only about twenty fans who won the chance to sit in on the interview about the new music. You’ll do a few of the songs to give them the chance to hear it, but it’s simple and you guys are prepared with the acoustic harmonizing on the new stuff. You’re going to have an amazing show. No te preocupes, tesoro,” she encouraged. Erick and Chris were in the corner of the room, having taken over the band’s instagram live and were making faces while singing to their followers. Joel and Richard were admiring the crowd from the side of the curtain without peeking enough to be seen. Aaliyah was poking Miguel’s cheeks to make him burst into fits of giggles and Jasmyn sat with Kaja, pouring over maternity magazines. All had smiles on their faces, save for him. “I’m trying not to… I’m just tired,” he excused. No sooner did the words leave his mouth that Clara shouted over the commotion for Renato to bring over a coffee. “Will Isa be here soon? She and Joaquin being here should make you feel better.” He shook his head. “Isa is in the press pit taking pictures. Joaquin is with Renato.” Clara turned and saw that Zabdiel’s mini-me was the one running over an iced coffee for his father. “Here, Papi,” he said, beaming. ���Gracias, mijo,” Zabdiel whispered, kissing Joaquin’s forehead. “Oye, asere,” Erick shouted, racing up behind and clapping his hand on Zabdiel’s back. “Christopher asked us a favor. I know we’re doing a few new songs, but he wants to do a classic one we didn’t have on the setlist, if we could do it acoustically tonight anyway.” Zabdiel noted where Erick had written the track name near the end of the scheduling and nodded. “That’s fine.” “Pues, están listos. Vamos,” he said with a wide smile. With the introduction of the radio deejay, the band moved to wooden barstools centerstage, Erick and Zabdiel dragging their guitars with them. The interview went smoothly, the fans lost their minds over the new sample songs from the album, and then Christopher abruptly stopped the entire flow. “Elena,” he said coquettishly at the deejay, “If it’s okay, I know we have a song that is a favorite of our fans we’d like to bring back today. I know how much it means to so many.” He stared down the camera in Isabella’s hands, and that left no doubt about the implications. And with the first chords coming from the boys’ guitars, her heart fell from her chest to the pit of her stomach. “Duele cien veces más que si se hundiera un clavo, en mi piel cada vez que veo tu foto y aun estas con el - no aprendí aceptar que seas de otro," Erick sang lowly. Chris gripped his microphone stand tightly, his eyes never leaving the lens of the camera his love was hiding behind. Erick continued to sing, but Christopher mouthed the words clearly intended for her. “Yo no entiendo, si al final quieres estar aquí, por que insistes en quedarte allí.” “Y es que dudo que el en verdad te ame como yo,” Zabdiel followed, and her chest siezed up. He didn’t understand the truth he was singing and how her veins were almost afire with guilt and pain. “Y es que no me creo que en otro lugar eras más feliz de lo que fuiste aqui.” She lowered her camera for a moment to wipe the tear away from her eye with the heel of her palm. It was the only moment Christopher’s eyes left hers, possibly unable to look at the hurt he’d just caused. “Si falle me arrepentí de rodillas ante ti- Pero sabes que no te mentí cuando dije-“ Even with it then being Erick’s verse, Christopher echoed him lowly, sure to hold onto her gaze as he did it. “Nadie te amará como yo a ti te amo, nadie te amará.” Their fan-faces were in full effect during the meet and greet session. Their smiles were ever present, taking pictures and giving hugs to all the girls who had been so wild upon hearing their music. Joaquin and Aaliyah poked their heads out from behind the curtains and waited until all the fans were done before they jumped in for a picture of their own. Though it was not long until Richard picked up both children and handed them to an unsuspecting and confused Joel. Richard chuckled, saying simply, “Practice, man.” Today, even with the reality of paparazzi outside, Zabdiel had an excuse not to hold Isabella’s hand as they exited the studio together. He busied himself with walking Joaquin safely across the parking lot, strapping him into his carseat, and taking over to drive them home. Isa quietly scanned through the photographs she’d taken, deleting a few similar ones so it wasn’t so blatantly obvious that her camera had been focused on one member more than the rest. Zabdiel was silent when they returned to their house. Joaquin ran off to play, Isa went to make dinner, and he sat quietly in his studio room. Usually to get into the musically creative mindset, he would pick up his guitar and start humming to himself, tapping drum beats on the guitar’s hollow body, plucking short notes he could later assign to a new song. But he made no noise, save the slight movement of his fingers when they tapped along his knee. He probably had to be that quiet because his thoughts were screaming so loudly. But the one thought he could not escape as much as he tried to fight it- maybe I was right. He removed his cell phone from his pocket and set it on the ledge of the piano meant for sheet music. Setting it on the front facing camera, he opened instagram and set to record a story he could publish for his fans. They loved when he posted covers. They didn’t need to know he was singing it because his heart related. He knew his English was not his strength, especially in song, and he may have stumbled over the lyrics, but he strummed along to James Bay’s familiar melody. “If this is all we’re living for, why are we doing it anymore? I used to recognize myself- it’s funny how reflections change. When we’re becoming something else, I think it’s time to walk away.”

-

Hope you guys liked it. I’m sorry I stomped on your hearts a little. Just remember, things happen, but things can also change.

Feedback is always appreciated.

chapter 7 is here

[youngdeathnotice]

magic

The gulf, friendship, and blackberries are what magic is made of, I think at age seven. My friend and I laugh as we collect the berries, competing to see who could get more. We both know we won't count but, perhaps it's the picking that matters, not the winning. Neither of us would ever admit to it but, the time spent together was more important, more meaningful, more magic than the winning. I almost tell them so yet, I glance over and see their mother stealing some from my basket when they think I'm not looking. I move it to the otherside of me for now. She was meant to supervise and referee to make things fair. The competition never mattered but now a fire in my soul made it important.

We go to the beach later on. Maybe not the same day, maybe not the same year. I was still young. I was still innocent. I was still naive. We were still magic. The sea -the big, magical, blue sea- was a cold shock to me. The freezing droplets splashed against my thigh as we rushed in to explore the unknown, to explore the magic. We ran in, hand and hand as usual, when an abrupt momentum corrupted our wonderous ecstasy. Our time together felt like a drug rush.

"No longer will you hold hands," their mother sneered, "boys and girls don't hold hands." My spirits were crushed. This slammed us both into sobriety so quickly an addict would be envious, or killed. I couldn't comprehend what was so supposedly sinful, so perverse, so shameful, about holding hands with your best friend. The act, once out of platonic love, was now reduced to an implied romantic act. We were too young to understand. The act was only for romance, and outside of the princess movies we watched while snuggling, we had never witnessed romance. My parent's were far less affectionate than us, and his mother was a single mother. Yet they dictated how much affection, love, intimacy, and care we could show for each other. We were too young to understand.

I loved him more than I loved any of my other friends. But it wasn't romantic. It never will be, I can now confirm. It never got the chance to develop into that, though I highly doubt it would have. Our stolen glances were with silly faces, not with puppy love eyes. When we cuddled on the couch, limbs wrapped like the gnarly oak tree we loved to climb, it was because it was comfortable and safe. We thrived from the way we could be vulnerable without being judged. Our holding hands was like a brother and sister. Though we were from the South, it wasn't a romantic type of love. When I looked at him, I saw a fellow warrior. We protected each other fiercely and equally. We shared love but, of course, it was only platonic. I stole a look to see if his heart was as crushed as mine. His faced revealed confusion and hurt.

I found myself feeling forced to grow up a little after that. We soon weren't allowed to share beds together during our sleepovers. Eventually beds turned to rooms, which disapointed us both. We couldn't stay up watching silly Cartoon Network Shows until 5 am anymore. The thrill of hanging out together was destroyed. What once made us feel like warriors, fierce and always together, now morphed us into corruptable smutty prisoners. We were supervised as such. Even our playtime was to be done in the livingroom, not the bedroom. If we went outside, the pool was off limits unless an adult was with us. None of my female friends had the same rules. The woods, the lovely safespot we once played in, we once danced in, we once innocently loved in, was now strictly banned. Our last summer blackberry-picking was the one where his mother first ruined the magic. At age seven, our parents had made our friendship a crime, not a blessing. At first, we'd sometimes fall asleep in the living room together. That was a mistake we never made again. The magic of our friendship was fading so quickly it no longer felt real. How was I, how were we, supposed to believe in magic, in friendship, in love if the person who possessed all of that was being forced away from me.

As we grew, my home was no longer his. His weekend-long sleepovers became day-long visits, which became hour-long visits. Eventually they disapeared. We were lucky to see each other once a month. When I suggested him coming over, my mom had already invited over a female friend of mine. I now wonder how many of those "surprise plans" were actually "last minute rescues." I cared for my female friends but my time with them broke my heart. All they talked of was him. It ached to hear about him when I rarely saw him. I never could relate, as all they did was talk of how cute his hair was, of how sexy his jaw was, of how handsome he was. I never had really looked at him. I always saw his personality, not him. I usually ended up angry at them, not out of jealously or possession, but, because of the way they seemed to only care about his aesthetic. He never deserved to be reduced to simply a ken doll. Only a year later, I began to familarize with the feeling, from his friends, his mother, and strangers. By twelve, I learned to respond with a glare. By fifteen, I shyed away. At seventeen, I repond with a middle finger and a rant. I'm usually silenced.

At age nine was the first time we heard the cursed words which destroyed what little vulnerablity and intimacy we still shared. I cant wait till theyre older, they'll be the cutest little couple. they'll be the cutest little couple. The words still echo through my mind to this day, causing me to wish I was in the multiverse where we had never suffered through overhearing that cursed statement. Now I know the magic would have faded anyway. In this life, it's forced on us that boys and girls can't be friends. When Harry Met Sally, Friends, My Best Friend's Wedding, and Zach and Miri Make A Porno all reinforce the idea that eventually our magic would be forced away. Now I wish it hadn't been so early. Our parents may have meant to only strip away our magic, but they also ransacked us of our innocence.

Our friendship was reduced to nothing. All that it was to our parents was pre-dating. An automatic husband. All I was, at the age of nine, was a housewife-in-training. It was dirty to platonically share love, yet praised to romantically share it. Not even were we double didgets and our fate was being planned by our parents. The damned word ruined the best friendship I had ever had. My love for him still existed, though eight years later I cannot tell you his favorite color. I cannot tell you how he's doing in school, or his opinions on gay rights. No longer do I know him. The presumption that we'dd be a couple turned us into strangers. The presumption that we shared romantic love robbed us of our friendship. The presumption that I'd be his wife, not his fighting warrior stole away our magic.

I can't speak for him, as I lack means of contacting him. I deleted his number after a year of not talking. I haven't had a friendship like that with a boy since. If I have, I've dated them, whether I wished to or not. I hope he's never made a girl feel like she's "friendzoned" him. I hope he misses my friendship. I hope he still thinks of me as magic. If any of it was true, it would be magic.

[kivaember]

(This is just PWP. Yup. Just some good ol’ PWP. Enjoy!) 

Fifteen minutes into a Kugane ‘diplomatic function’ as Aymeric’s plus one Aza hit his limit.

His partner was off schmoozing, a necessary evil that left Aza unsupervised at the buffet table and alone amidst a sea of far too interested strangers. After enduring the horribly familiar Hingan décor, music and chatter, and having to evade no less than twenty attempts to be pulled into uncomfortable conversations (interrogations) with cunning diplomats and socialites alike, Aza decided to do a tactical retreat with a plate full of cake underneath the buffet table. The table was draped in a long, thick tablecloth that brushed against the polished floor, so Aza felt no shame in huddling underneath it like a child the moment no one was looking in his direction.

I thought I could handle this, he thought glumly as he nibbled on a very sweet dumpling thing he didn’t recognise. The hall this function was hosted in just screamed UPPER CLASS HINGAN and it made every fibre in his body try to recoil into another dimension. The sights, the sounds, even the smells, all combined into an awful, terrible echo that made his throat clench and his stomach turn. Aymeric had told him he didn’t have to come, that he’d understand if he rejected the invite, but Aza had stubbornly dug in his heels and boldly declared that he’d be fine, and… well…

Guess he was still a cowardly weakling, when it came down to it.

Aza licked the powdered sugar off his fingers, deciding that the upside to cowering under a buffet table meant he didn’t have to worry about being all polite and well-behaved. Tataru had all but manhandled him into his current clothes – the Scion shirt, jacket and trousers she made him all those years ago, recently tailored so it hugged every curve of his body attractively. It caught Aymeric’s attention, Aza had to practically shoo him away to go socialise when they arrived his partner had been that fixated on him, but it also caught everyone else’s attention, which did absolutely nothing for his shot nerves.

He spent a very comfortable ten minutes just lounging under the buffet table, slowly demolishing his pile of treats whilst turning half an ear to the conversations filtering, muffled but audible, through the heavy tablecloth. Something about being round food had people chatting with open candidness, and he picked up a few useful titbits that he could pass along to Aymeric and the Scions later. Speaking of…

He perked when he heard a snatch of his partner’s name, and, picking up his plate of food, he ungracefully but silently butt-shuffled further down the table until he was sat in the perfect spot to eavesdrop;

“-ch a handsome face!” a woman’s voice gushed in Doman Hingan. Her words were a little slurred, “I could stare at those eyelashes of his all day. They are fatally attractive! And that mouth. Ohhh, I just want to nibble his bottom lip…”

“Don’t forget his voice,” another woman sighed, “It’s so orgasmic. Could you imagine how he must sound, if he murmurs your name in the throes of passion…?”

“Oh, I bet he would purr!”

The women giggled, and Aza couldn’t help but grin a little. There was always a smug, pleased feeling that kindled in him whenever he caught people extolling Aymeric’s physical virtues. His partner was very attractive and sexy, unfairly so at times, and it was Aza’s honest opinion that Aymeric deserved to be swooned over and admired by all and sundry – from a very respectable distance, of course. Aymeric was wholly his, only ever had eyes for him, so Aza was perfectly content with the gaggle of admirers that giggled and ogled in his wake.

 He continued to munch on his cake, listening to the women (raunchily) espouse Aymeric’s attractiveness and hypothesised sexual prowess before they wandered off, laughing a little tipsily. Aza made a mental note to tell Aymeric that it was apparently ‘common knowledge’ that he had a eight ilm dick and the flexibility of an acrobat, if only because he knew he would get an absolute kick out of it.

Another ten minutes passed, and Aza was contemplating resurfacing long enough to replenish his dwindling cake supply when another conversation further along piqued his interest. He bum-shuffled closer.

“-rson to weaponise sex appeal,” a man was growling in curt Imperial Garlean. Something about it sounded familiar, but Aza couldn’t place a name or a face to the voice.

“You have to admit, it is effective,” a woman murmured in accented Garlean. Aza didn’t recognise the dialect, “With a face like that, it’s no wonder he relies on charm and seduction to lure and hold the fence-sitting Kuganites. They are weak against pretty things.”

“It just seems so shallow,” the man muttered, “Aye, he’s clever by half, but if he’s just flashy looks, then what threat is he, really?”

“What threat?” the woman laughed harshly, “He led a successful coup and acted, however brief, as a benevolent dictator. I think it’s safe to assume he is dangerous, politically, especially if his own government exiled him to Kugane of all places. He’s not just pretty smiles and flirty glances.”

“I heard the Scions led the coup,” the man said irritably, “With that ‘Warrior of Light’ of theirs. Perhaps those ‘pretty smiles’ of his secured their support? It’s said that he bends over for that Eikon-Slayer on a regular basis, which, fair trade, correct? Spread your legs for that saviour of savages and get a City State in return.”

“Careful,” the woman whispered, “Remember your surroundings.”

“Fuck my surroundings,” the man angry-whispered, “Are we seriously ignoring the fact that Ishgard sent the Eikon-Slayer’s fucktoy as an envoy? Are they mocking us with that? That manwhore spreads his legs for that fucking monster, and we’re meant to make nice-”

The pair walked away, still angrily whispering to each other. Aza frowned, a little unsettled about that. Did the Garleans really think Aymeric as nothing more than ‘the guy our greatest enemy fucks’? That was so… insulting. Aymeric was dangerous in his own rights, and it rubbed his fur all wrong to imagine anyone calling him a manwhore. How fucking rude.

Aza made a mental note to break into the Garlean Consulate and take a shit in their swimming pool again. That always pissed them off.

The party crawled on after that. People continued to gossip and whisper to each other over the finger foods the buffet table offered, but none of it held Aza’s interest for long. Stuffed full of cake, bored and drowsy, Aza ended up sprawling on his back under the table, eyes closed as he dozed fitfully. Around him the chatter rose and fell like an undulating wave, and it made things… okay. It was like a comforting drone of white noise, buzzing dully and making him slowly relax, fraction by fraction, until…

“Ah, so this is where you disappeared to.”

Until Aymeric’s voice drifted over him. Oh?

“Aym…?” he mumbled sleepily, squinting his eyes open. It took him a moment, but he spotted his partner kneeling half under the table, the tablecloth lifted over his head so that the bright, loud colours of the hall silhouetted him. Aza could still see Aymeric’s face though, smiling at him with a gentle softness that had his heart do something embarrassingly squishy and probably fatal.

“You’re going to hurt your back, sleeping there,” Aymeric chided him quietly, but he scooted under the table and let the cloth flutter back down behind him. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, Aymeric just barely fit under the table, but Aza didn’t mind as he reluctantly sat up – only to be immediately pulled into a very firm, but very welcome hug.

“My back s’fine,” Aza half-yawned into Aymeric’s shoulder, squirming enough to seat himself comfortably in his partner’s lap, his thighs bracketing Aymeric’s waist, his knees pressed against the floor. Ah, yes, much comfier than the hard, unyielding floor. Lovely, “Mmm, s’time t’go?”

“Almost,” Aymeric rested his chin atop of his head, and Aza’s ear twitched when his partner’s warm breaths tickled it, “Another hour and it will be polite to leave. Did you spend the whole party here, love?”

“Mmhm,” Aza hummed, “I ate a whole cake to myself and eavesdropped on people.”

Aymeric’s laughter rumbled deep in his chest. It was intoxicating to listen to, “Overhear anything interesting?”

“Lotsa people think you’re sexy,” Aza said shamelessly, turning his head a fraction to let his lips brush over the column of Aymeric’s throat, “S’common knowledge your dick’s eight ilms, by the way.”

“What- oh, goodness,” Aymeric let out a very unflattering snort, “Eight ilms? That’s not an attractive size.”

“Yeah,” Aza agreed drowsily, “No way you’d fit in me at eight.”

“Oh, really…?” Aymeric made a very playful, mischievous noise then, “Mouth or…?”

“Both,” Aza nipped at his throat, smiling when Aymeric swallowed thickly in response, “I’m only small, y’know.”

“Not where it counts-”

Aza pointedly bounced in Aymeric’s lap, smirking when his partner stuttered to a choked halt when Aza jostled against a very sensitive spot. Aymeric’s arms tightened around him, briefly, and Aza oh so innocently nuzzled the crook of his neck, his hands pressing lightly against Aymeric’s shoulder blades in an equally innocent cuddle.

“Aza,” Aymeric finally murmured, his voice a little hoarse, “That was mean.”  

“Don’t know what you mean,” Aza purred mischievously, “I was just adjusting myself.”

“Adjusting,” Aymeric muttered, only to groan when Aza bounced again – well, more like enthusiastically rolled his hips, pressing intimately and firmly close as he drew out the friction. Aza could feel his partner react almost instantly, and feeling that was, goodness, made his belly clench so hard and hot he almost moaned.

“Gods,” Aymeric’s sounded delightfully breathless and strained, “In public? You little deviant…”

“Technically,” Aza purred, just to be a little shit, and gently kissed a messy line along the column of Aymeric’s throat as he murmured; “We’re under a table, out of view, that just so happens to be in public. So, if we’re quiet, and subtle, we can…mm, spend the hour nicely…”

Aymeric made a short, huffing noise at that, which very quickly transitioned into the sweetest hiccupping moan Aza ever heard, barely stifled when Aza started to slowly, yet firmly grind against him. Aymeric’s fingers curled into the back of his shirt, wrinkling it, before slowly, sliding down until he was cupping his firm buttocks, coaxing him to grind that little bit harder, closer…

There was something so fucking delightful at feeling his partner stiffen against him, grinding and rocking against that firm bulge until Aza was panting shallowly from the intoxicating friction between them. Aymeric’s fingers dug hard into the meat of his ass, forcing him to keep a relentless hard, fast pace between them. Aza muffled his groan into the crook of his partner’s neck, trembling to the very tip of his tail as Aymeric panted out the quietest yet most obscene moan into his ear. Fucking hell.

This was spiralling faster than Aza thought. It was just the effect Aymeric had on him, though. Moment he touched him, moment Aymeric held him like this, panted like that, moaned and grunted and humped against him like some rutting beast, all restraint just went flying out of the window. But, while Aza could get away with suspicious stains on his trouser front because he was well known to be slovenly, Aymeric… well, he’d have to give goodbyes soon and to do that with potential cum stains…

Honestly, Aza deserved a fucking medal for having the capacity for some level of critical thinking at that point. With a whine, he forced himself to stop, to pull away – Aymeric, with a strained noise, let him go, his hands stroking from his ass over the tops of his thighs. His partner’s face was so temptingly flushed, eyes dark, his expression so… fuck, that look should be illegal.

“Aza…?” he murmured.  

“Sorry, babe,” Aza said breathlessly, scooting off Aymeric’s lap, but immediately bending low, his hands smoothing over the insides of his partner’s thighs and pushing them apart, “I wanna – can I, with my mouth…?”

“I should say no,” Aymeric muttered even as he started spreading his legs for him, leaning back on his hands and politely holding still as Aza’s hands fumbled at his belt, “But Gods, I don’t care for propriety right now. Yes, you can use your mouth.”

Aza laughed huskily, pulling the belt loose and gently thumbing the button open. Despite their earlier franticness, he was careful and slow as he nudged Aymeric’s trousers and underclothes down his hips a few ilms, coaxing out his firm, hot arousal and gently, teasingly so, pressed a kiss to the very tip of it.

Aymeric drew in a very sharp, long breath.

“Remember…” Aza mumbled, lips brushing against the tip of his partner’s cock, “You need to be quiet, okay? Get too loud and…”

“I’ll be quiet,” Aymeric said, his tone openly strained. Aza looked up at him from beneath his eyelashes, studied his partner’s flushed, aroused face, the way he was biting his bottom lip in anticipation, body tense and almost trembling from the force of it, the way his hips shivered beneath his palms… Aza very carefully committed that to memory.

“We’ll see~” Aza purred, planting his palms firmly on Aymeric’s hips and pressed another kiss to the tip. He drew in a deep, long breath through his nose, scenting his partner’s musk before, slowly, he parted his lips and lowered his head – carefully, gently, making sure not to accidentally scrape his sharp fangs over the sensitive organ.

Aymeric’s breathing picked up sharply – but he was quiet. Aza’s ears pricked forwards, alert, drinking in the sound of people moving around their table, chatting and oblivious to them, oblivious to Aymeric trembling, flushed and panting and eager, and Gods, it was fantastic. Aza made a soft noise as he took as much as he could, Aymeric hitting the back of his throat and making him swallow thickly before he choked.  

“Nh-” A short, bitten off gasp. Aymeric’s fingers clenched hard in his hair, but not painfully, and Aza exhaled slowly as he pulled back… then bobbed his head low, taking in a little bit more now, pull back, down, more, pull back, down, more… again, and again, until…

Until Aza’s nose pressed into the dark curls at the base of Aymeric’s cock, breathing in the thick smell of musk, swallowing thick around the arousal hot and heavy against his tongue, feeling Aymeric tremble so violently beneath his hands he thought he was going to come undone at the seams. Aymeric was panting so short and fast, each exhale shuddering enough it was almost a moan, almost the beginnings of his name, almost a whimper, a whine, a beg.

Well damn. Aza kind of wanted to hear those things, but that would ruin the quiet rule, won’t it?

Aza pulled back, gently rubbing his hands over Aymeric’s tense, shivering thighs. He dragged it out, until his lips were kissing his partner’s very tip, lapping up the precum beading there. Aymeric groaned something too low and quiet for him to understand, his trembling fingers stroking through his hair until Aza was purring happily.

“Good so far?” he rumbled softly, blowing on the damp arousal and grinning when a shiver went right up Aymeric’s thighs at that.

“V-Very,” Aymeric breathed, and dug his fingers just behind Aza’s ears, rubbing just enough to make Aza melt, “Feel as if my ribs will break, trying to be quiet, but-”

Aza dipped his head and wrapped his lips around his partner’s cock again, delighted to hear Aymeric stutter to a panting moan. He loved surprising him like that, loved making his cool, calm demeanour melt away into this flustered, eager and wanton man. Aza shifted his hands from his thighs to his hips, gently coaxing a very slow, careful rhythm as he began to bob his head, Aymeric’s fingers curled tight into his hair, urging him lower…

Really, it was fucking great Aymeric wasn’t the eight ilms those drunk ladies giggled over. Aza could barely swallow what he had now, the back of his throat beginning to feel raw, his jaw aching as he let his partner fuck his mouth with barely controlled thrusts. But as uncomfortable as it was, Aza fucking loved it too, hearing and feeling Aymeric gasp and tremble and slowly, slowly, slowly tense and shudder and-

“Ahh, Az-nh…” Aymeric’s voice was so strained, struggling to stay as quiet as a breath, that Aza burned the sound of it to memory for a lonely night, “I’m, v-very close, t-to…”

Aza dug his fingers into Aymeric’s hips, to let him know he heard. Normally Aza would pull away and finish him with his hand, but since the point of this was to maintain complete cleanliness, Aza boldly bobbed his head low, swallowed Aymeric whole and pulled back just enough, throat relaxing-

Aymeric made the most perfect and obscene whine-moan right in the back of his throat before he came with a violent shudder.

“Mm-” Aza grunted when his mouth was suddenly filled with hot cum, pinning his partner’s hips down as he determinedly swallowed and sucked and panted around the twitching cock in his mouth until it was over. When it was, he pulled away with an obscene wet noise, licking his lips to catch what he missed, which was… a lot. Hey, he was messier than Aymeric, okay?

“Gods,” Aymeric muttered, and Aza looked up from where he was still half-sprawled in his lap to see his partner giving him a heavy-lidded, satisfied look, his cheeks flushed and mouth curved into a little half-smile that had Aza’s belly go all hot and tight, “You got it everywhere, love.”

“You got it everywhere,” Aza rasped, giving up and just wiping his face with his sleeve. Sorry, Tataru, “I’m not a master cumeater like you, pervert.”

Aymeric chuckled quietly, and gently pulled at him, coaxing him upright. Aza did so with some huffing and grumbling, and kindly tucked Aymeric back into his trousers once he sat comfortably in his lap.

“Is your throat sore?” Aymeric murmured softly, leaning in to lick up a spot of cum Aza had missed at the corner of his mouth. Aza shivered to the very tip of his tail at feeling that, letting out some weird, breathy grunt without meaning to, “I didn’t mean to be rough with you, love.”

“S’cuz you’re too big as it is,” Aza mock-grumbled, relaxing when Aymeric just pressed light, fluttering kisses against his mouth, cheeks, jaw, even nuzzling him like some giant, over-affectionate cat, “You weren’t rough. Never are, babe.”

“Hmm…” Aymeric rested his chin atop of his head again, arms tight around him, “Do you want me to…?”

“Nah,” Aza nosed his partner’s throat, breathing in the mingling scent of fading aftershave, wine and light sweat. It was a very nice smell, “I can wait until we’re home.”

His own arousal had faded, and while his pulse was still fluttery, while he could feel the stirrings of interest clench low in his belly, Aza could definitely wait. After that near silent blowjob, Aza kinda wanted to be a little loud, sore throat or not. Maybe even have Aymeric be a little ‘rough’ for once, fucking him hard into the bed and… Aza forced his mind elsewhere, when he felt his trousers tighten too much at the naughty fantasy.

“If you want,” Aymeric kissed his temple, politely ignoring the erection he could no doubt feel pressing against his hip, “Well, love, it might be a bit too early to be considered polite, but shall we make our goodbyes?”

“You mean, you make your goodbyes, and I’ll get the taste of cum out of my mouth with another plate of cake?” Aza corrected cheekily, “Sounds good to me.”

Laughter rumbled in Aymeric’s chest, warm and lovely, “Fine, fine. Gods, I still can’t believe we did that.”

Aymeric left, not too long after that, though Aza had to practically pry him off with a crowbar. His partner got so clingy and affectionate after sex, which was great normally, but not when Aza was eager and impatient to leave. He distracted himself with some more cake, kindly handed down to him by Aymeric when his partner ungracefully left their little table safe haven.

You know, if this was how all the diplomatic functions in Kugane went, Aza could see himself starting to like them. Granted, he may start being known as the weirdo hermit who huddles under the buffet table, stuffing his face with cake, but if it involved some cheeky stuff too… well, he might start getting comfortable enough to accompany Aymeric with his schmoozing.

Maybe find those rude Garleans from before and be absolutely fucking obnoxious to them.

Feeling pleased, and excited, and happy, Aza waited for Aymeric by having his cake and eating it too.

[dontshootmespence]

My Asinine Brother

A/N: An anon request for a JJ x Reader fic where the reader is Spencer’s older sister. One day when Spencer visits his sister’s apartment, he sees JJ and his sister cuddled up on the couch after a long night of steaminess and he is shocked and a bit angry that they’re dating. The team then talks Spencer down from his freakout and he accepts their relationship. This is AU-ish in that it’s around season 5-6 and Will is not in the picture.

                                                              ----

There really was nothing like walking around your apartment in an oversized t-shirt and panties with your sexy ass girlfriend who was walking around in the same after a long night of steamy sex.

As Spencer Reid’s older sister, it was a given that you’d eventually meet the team. Given how Spencer talked about them, you’d expected to like them, but you hadn’t expected love to blossom, no less with one of his best friends. “Do you want to split some Ben and Jerry’s?”

“Is it chocolate chip cookie dough?” She asked. Her face was tinged with redness from the last few hours of steaminess, so you figured it was time for a cool down and eagerly nodded, desperately wanting to down all of the ice cream. 

After grabbing the pint and two spoons from the drawer, you ran over to the couch and hopped over, plopping down next to her and placing a kiss on her cheek. “God, I love chocolate chip cookie dough,” she said, her mouth full of deliciousness. “It’s my absolute favorite.”

“Honestly, I’ll take nearly any Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, but yea.” 

It didn’t take long for the two of you to finish off the pint and snuggle up together for warmth, your head nestled into her lap. You could’ve fallen asleep as she raked her hands through your hair, twirling it around her delicate fingertips as both of you mindlessly took in whatever you’d left on the tv. Frankly, it was just nice to cuddle up together after a long, uninterrupted night together. 

Nearly an hour passed when you heard a key in the lock. Quickly, you pulled out your cellphone to see that your brother had in fact texted to ask if he could steal his favorite sweatshirt back. “Dammit, it’s Spencer.”

“He doesn’t know about us yet,” JJ hissed.

Nodding, you called out to Spencer to say you’d bring his sweatshirt before running inside to grab it. But it was too late. Spencer walked in to see JJ sitting on the couch. “JJ? What are you doing here?”

“Here’s your sweatshirt,” you said as you walked out unable to hide the fact that you were wearing a scant amount of clothing with a beautiful blonde sharing your couch. “Do you ever sleep?”

“Insomnia.” It was almost comedic how Spencer did a double, triple and then quadruple take between the two of you before it clicked. “You’re dating?!”

“Gee, what gave you that idea, Spence?” You asked sarcastically. “Was it the fact that JJ is over at my place at midnight, the fact that both of us are wearing little more than oversized t-shirts, a little of both?”

You figured he’d be surprised, but he loved you and you knew he loved JJ, so why would he be happy about it? But he wasn’t. Shock plagued his face, a slight hint of anger brewing behind his eyes. “JJ, how could you be dating my older sister? Why? I mean...” He started shaking his head, seemingly trying to banish the image from his head. “After everything that’s happened this past year, why would you bring my sister into this? How could you?”

Spencer was the best little brother anyone could possibly ask for, but that didn’t stop him from being the typical pain-in-the-ass little brother every once in a while. “Excuse me,” you said, stepping in between you both. “One, you don’t get to decide who I date. Every. Two, JJ didn’t ask me out, I asked her out, so she didn’t ‘bring me into’ anything.”

“Y/N, you know how insane our jobs are!” He yelled, still not getting it. “I told you what happened with our boss right?” Of course he had. You’d been helping him through it. This was just overprotective Spencer being overprotective Spencer.

Nodding, you placed your hands on his shoulders. “Yes, Spence. Don’t be a sarcastic pain in the ass. What happened with Hotch and his wife was absolutely, undeniably, unequivocally tragic, but I refuse to let your jobs stand in the way of me experiencing happiness. Sure, could something happen related to your jobs that hurts me? Sure. But I could also walk off the sidewalk tomorrow and get hit by a bus. I refuse to let some circumstance, some bad guy, or you dictate my life.” You poked him in the chest before crossing your arms over your own.

“Foyet wasn’t some bad guy. He shot Haley in the back of the head while Hotch listened to it. He barely got there in time to save his son...just...why?” You really did get it; you understood where he was coming from. Although it had been nearly a year, everyone was still pretty raw over the loss of Hotch’s wife, and as your brother, you expected him to be worried about you even more so than he normally was, but you weren’t going to stop living life because of it. 

Without thinking, you blurted out. “Why? Why would I get involved with someone on your team? Because you don’t choose who you love Spencer? Are you saying that if you find someone you love, you’re not going to let them in because they could get hurt?” 

He was stumped, stuttering as he tried to figure out where to go with this.

“You love me?” You heard from behind you.

Uhhhhhhhhh...yea, as a matter of fact, you did.

“Yea, Jayge. I kinda love you a lot.”

Though she’d been hesitant to say anything while you were trying to knock some sense into Spencer, she replied. “I love you too.”

“Great!” Spencer spun around and grabbed his sweatshirt before walking toward the door. “I-I-I don’t even know how to respond.”

Rolling your eyes, you blurted out before he left. “Spencer, you may be my brother, but you’d run my life. I love you, more than most people, but get over it.”

And with that he left.

“So how do you think he’s gonna be at work?” She asked.

It had been 10 minutes since he walked into the apartment, but you were exhausted and fell backward onto the couch. “Oh he’s going to be a pain in the ass, I assure you. Eventually, he’ll get over it though.”

“This is going to suck,” she laughed. “But you’re worth it. And I really do love you too.”

                                                             ----

Although you didn’t work at the BAU, you heard through JJ over the next couple of days just how much of an ass your brother could be when he was trying to protect someone. He meant well, but goddammit...Spence - you ass.

“Spence, I don’t know what to tell you,” JJ exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m in love with your sister. Either be happy for us and learn that you can’t keep her safe forever from everything, or don’t, keep doing this, and lose the connection you have with her, the closest relationship you have, because you’re being a stubborn ass.”

Storming out of the room, JJ huffed and puffed, leaving Spencer speechless. That didn’t happen a lot. Basically, Spencer stuttered over his words in two situations - when he was crushing on someone, and when he knew he was wrong and didn’t want to admit it. “Reid, what are you doing?” Morgan asked.

“After everything this team has been through, JJ is dating my sister - one of the people I love most in the world. If something happens to her because of her connection to this team, I’m-”

Rossi came up behind him and clasped his shoulder. “Something could already happen to Y/N because of her connection to this team through you. Her dating JJ doesn’t put her in any more danger than she was already in.” 

“I didn’t think of that.”

“Because as much as you are an amazing little brother, son and friend, you are hot-headed when it comes to protecting them,” Hotch said. He could see in Spencer’s eyes that he was thinking of Haley in this situation. “You didn’t think about that because you didn’t think.”

“Uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh,” Spencer groaned. “Dammit.”

Emily bent to hug Spencer who was now sitting at the round table. “Do you love your sister?”

“Of course, I do.”

“Do you love JJ?”

“Of course, I do.”

“Then that’s all you need to know. You, and the rest of us, protect them as best as we can.”

Spencer pulled his head out of his hands and stared blankly forward. “I have to apologize to them, don’t I?”

“I’d say so,” Garcia laughed.

“Dammit...I hate being wrong.”

                                                            ----

Knock. Knock.

“Who is it?” You asked as JJ and yourself sat down to dinner.

“Spencer.”

Rolling your eyes, you didn’t budge from your place in the kitchen. “Are you here to tell us why we shouldn’t be together again?”

JJ’s mouth dropped open when he replied. “No, I’m here to apologize.”

“Oh shit.” Placing your dish down onto the table, you opened the door and invited him in. “This is amazing. Please, go ahead.”

Spencer smirked, playfully hitting you in the arm before pulling you in for a hug. “I’m sorry. To both of you,” he said to JJ. “This job puts me on edge, and the idea of you getting hurt because of it makes me sick, but as the team pointed out...that could already happen because of me.”

“And you’re supposed to be a genius,” you laughed.

“Shut up.”

JJ walked over and wrapped her arms around Spencer’s neck. “I promise you that I want to keep her safe just as much as you do. I love her, Spence.”

He kissed the top of her head an sighed. “I can tell.”

After hugging you both and apologizing again, he pulled away, his eyes suddenly dawning with recognition. “The other night...when I was here...you two had just...”

“Finished having sex?” You asked, nodding your head. “Yea.”

Spencer practically shivered, chuckling as he turned to leave the apartment. “You know what...I gotta go!”

@coveofmemories @jamiemelyn @sexualemobitch @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @rmmalta @lukeassmanalvez @yoinkpeter @the-slytherin-ice-queen @marvelfanlife @amarislestrange @obsessed5sosfreak @sonhadoraativa @1enchantedfantasy1 @ace-and-rosey @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @offbrandcursewords @entelechysymphony @milkandcookies528 @pugs-cats-bb-8 @davidr0ssi @sarahkay-19 @tarciau

[myheartbeatskids]

Candy, I ain't gonna let anyone kill you or hurt you

It even Isabella.

You want to die? You need to commit real suicide on your own.

ANYTIME you feel threatened, tell me like always and I promise I'm make sure you're safe.

YES there are still bad cops out. Yes. I know this. I'm trying to do that best I can as fast as I can to get them all arrested.

It's just a little slow. Take your normal precautions and everything is fine.

You are and will be as safe as any of my kids.

Baby Girl, I got a bad mom. I got bad genes. I got a shit ton of kids although my mom punched me straight in the face and broke my nose and said she wasn't having nigger grandbabies. I know where I come from. This was in front of of their daddy that raises them. I come from a bad pwrson..my poor Annabelle got hit with gramma and her dad's genes.

Story, the point of life is.

We aren't all bad. Not at all.

Isabella has her bad days. I have had mine. Sometimes we grow up sooner than later or not at all. Sometimes we regress sometimes we dont.

No one is gonna hurt any kid of Jesse's just cause they're Jesse's.

I gave him money, Chandler, because I knew you were in the womb. I gave him money to help him change and to stop his attacks on me.

So. The point is my darling, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to allow anyone to. I have always protected you from day one.

I know how Jesse is. But you also know me. The real me. So never worry.

My mom is everyday being abusive still. My ex husband not so much but even still, I'm not going to allow him to get away with hurting her.

My mom will die. I hope my ex, too. But whatever. As long as he's punished. Even just public shame in Alamogordo or whatever. As long as he leaves her alone, he's fine.

But how can my daughter know what he did to her and know hes running the streets? That is not okay. He nearly killed her more than once and sexually abused her and punched me on the face knock out when I caught him. Obviously I can't protect her in certain times. I did the best I can.

Just as I did with all my kids.

I wished that my mom be in God's hands and murdered by his own. That can still happen. But I was overruled by popular vote to expedite the 3 months I allowed. Which I do thank God for.

(Candy: 3 months. You gave her three months so I have at least that much, too.

Me: what the Hell have you done?!?!?!

Candy: nothing I'm just like you is all.

***I usually take the worst case scenario and apply it to myself. That way just in case I'm in trouble I know how much trouble I can be in. But we all laughed cause I was all "what the Hell have you done??!" Like Jesus Christ Candy I love you but oh my god you're freaking out!!! But I got her)

So. I don't tell Denise's story. I know it. But more I just try to make sure I memorize it over and over for facts. One day when she's dead and she can no longer throw her joy for hurting me in my face, I will write it. It will be one of the most horrific stories you will read. And yes she is still running around pretending to me be and yes she does know my current secrets because she is an evil dictator and spy. Just like I always say, say "Denise shut up and go away"

Then pray. Pray God takes her into his hands and away from you and ask for peace and justice.

It seriously and honestly works. It can take ten minutes but go move your body around, wash dishes, something while God removes her from your personal space and she will disappear

Then before you know it, couple hours later, you will realize that she had been gone and you forgot about her. And then she appears.

Pray again. You get answered faster This time.

You don't even have to be nice just a simple:

God, get her the Hell away from me!

And guess what? It works on me, too. For me and on me.

Guess what else? These horrible people are alive and have to be murdered because they want an eye for an eye. They want us to have to do to them what rhey have done to us. They want us to commit acts they know we dam them for so they can turn to us and say we are hypocrites.

I'm not sorry: killing a loving husband and two innocent infants and killing the person that killed them is two completely different things. And it's not just revenge. It's self defense of the entire planet. To keep others safe.

**********~~~~~~~~~~~♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤☆

Yes we can pray. And like I just said about Denise we have to do it over and over. I don't get fucking paid to baby sit her. The FBI does. And they do the best they can. Sometimes I can't pray I'm busy or I can't breathe or my heart is messed up and I cant. So they pray for me or distract her or whatever. It's not like we didn't ask God to respect us and not have to kill her. We do. Everyday.

So like I said, I will never allow a good person to die on my watch.

I have saved horrible beings lives. Most of the people I have told about (I have not been told about so I can't tell about everyone) I have saved their lives each at least once. Physically from death. Even Alexis Dejoria. So believe me. It's not just some random sniper shooting. This is real. With inches and inches of paperwork.

I'll tell the truth. Sometimes i question. Sometimes I feel bad. But the only thing I tell myself and for me it is the most calming thing in the entire world, for me. Is that:

They have years and years of investigation, proof, evidence. Some decades of proof of who these people are.

So while sometimes, even i, feel like maybe this is wrong. Maybe this is playing god, I know when I die and I have to face the real God or whatever word you want to use to explain the force which keeps us on Earth. I will say "you didn't fix the paperwork. You didn't give the fucking manual correctly. You didn't edit it. What the Hell was i supposed to do?!?!" And I also take in the fact that maybe I tell people how to kill and/or torture these truly bad people, I did not do it. The people with the paperwork chose to do it.

I question the executioner. Everytime. I know them. I know why they do it. They love me. They love God (science is still God). They love theirselves. They love their soon to be dead.

They make sure they know that they will die. They will be physically tortured until they are completely dead. They are asked to sign a DNR order. IF the refuse to sign the paperwork, then the guards will make sure they do not do anything to cause immediate death that they cannot stop a person from dying from.

They get counseling. They get the choice, a month or less of physical torture that equals what they did to someone else or a life in prison.

Others do just escape and steal food that is not quite healthy. Because it's an eye for an eye. So they learn that you cannot steal. If you steal you're hurting someone thus they get hurt. But also they do get food dropped by helicopter that is healthy. Although is limited in calories (about 900 per day)

I have already said all of this. But I'm are that it was overlooked by many due to shock.

This last one that had kidnapped Annabelle. She did end up paralyzed. Then yesterday was woken from her coma. She was put into a medical coma. So. She did sign a DNR after she was paralyzed (with the pen in her mouth). But it was what she wanted for me. She "joked" about my radio frequency ablation to cause me to be paralyzed and even storm in and do it herself or demand it to be done while my doctor was held at gun point. So. That's what happened to her. I did not know this. I only knew who she was. Not even as my daughter's kidnapper. Just as someone just like my mom who was into incest with her sons and husband. That's all I knew. I remembered her. I knew her disgusting character. I didn't find out until yesterday she was the one that kidnapped my kid or that she was even in a coma.

So I am kept in the loop but I do not create it although I do make suggestions. Like she had AB+ Blood so I was all let her donate it while she's alive - all of it. They don't have to listen but they do. That's a rather boring death but it is quick and they did do what they needed to do to keep her basically have a good painless death.

She couldn't feel anything anyways. So when she watched all of her organs be harvested from her body, in hopes that maybe God will give her a good life after death, she could be proud and hopeful. (This was her choice to occur. She signed she wanted this procedure)

And the people medically working on her, actually wanted that. They're good people. They really are. They talk to them step by step. Ask them if they are okay. Sometimes it's all really caring and when it's admitted there is suffering the medical guard just says "Good. Remember who the real victim is and remember you deserve this for doing it to someone else"

So just be good and the best you do for others will be returned.

#karma which by the way. Matt tried to piss me off this morning by making me depressed and hurting my feelings and life and making me angry so that he could take some cool angry photos. That shit blew up in his face and all i did was make him laugh and look sexy. Totally what he did NOT want. So don't fuck with me.

*i did eventually help him get to what he needed to be at but he struggled for real. And then I had to go to sleep so Mark J.R. Knew where to take him cause I told him. So.

Yeah. I'm the nicest person in the world but your karma does matter.

[starvinbohemian]

The T2 screenplay is trying to kill me. And since I’m rife with feels, I’m going to do a deep dive into John Hodge’s screenplay with my Mark/Simon shipper goggles firmly in place. (Although, I didn’t really need the goggles, because it’s all right there.) 

Interestingly, their relationship is both better and worse in the screenplay than it was in the film, with some interesting changes along the way. In a way, the script is less romantic about them and their relationship than the film ultimately became.  

Of course, the highlight: 

Veronika (in her own language): You know nothing. You understand nothing. You are quite clearly so in love with one another that I feel almost awkward even in your presence. Why do you pretend to hate each other so much when all you want is to be together? Instead of looking at me why don’t you just take your clothes off and get on with it.

Another:

Simon sits on a bench at the edge of a park. Looking this way and that, he does not hear Renton approach.

Renton: Brought him with you, have you?

Simon: I didn’t know.

Renton glares at him. There is no question of believing a single word of Simon’s bullshit. 

Simon: OK... OK... I may have, you know... heard something. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it--

Renton: May have heard something!

Simon: All right-- fuck it, I knew! I knew he was out. And I could have served you up to him on a plate any time I wanted to!

Renton: And I’m sure you were going to!

Simon: Yes! Yes, I was! I was looking forward to it!

Renton: I ought to fucking kill you.

They sit in hostile silence, each inwardly deciding whether to kiss or kill the other.

And another:

Renton and Simon are in old-married-couple mode. They are watching a film-- could be anything, an old Van Damme movie, a black-and-white classic, a documentary. There are cardboard pizza boxes, bottles of lager. They converse lazily while watching the film.

This is typical of John Hodge, who usually offers suggestions for what the characters are watching or listening to but with a big ‘eh whatever you want’ attached, which I like to think is because he’s so used to working with Danny Boyle by this point that he knows Danny will have stronger opinions about media choices than he will. Completely my own headcanon, but still.

They’re talking about Spud wanting to publish his stories-- the scene will later be chopped and moved to the end of the movie-- and Simon is feeling so comfortable that he answers his phone “cheerfully” without checking the caller ID. Simon. It’s Begbie, and we get to see Simon do some more of his dance to keep Begbie off Mark’s trail, adding to Begbie’s later accusation that Simon was stringing him along.

And:

Spud: Are you going to see Simon?

Renton affects to have barely considered the matter.

Renton: Simon? Uh... I don’t know... he’s probably busy...

Spud: Naw, you got see old Simon.

Renton: You know how it is-- time goes by--

Spud: -- be gutted not to see you.

Renton: --He and I, you know how it was, we sorted of drifted apart...

[This calls back to the original novel, where Mark and Simon are pretty explicitly done with each other by the end of the book: “He thinks about Sick Boy, and all the things they went through together. They had shared some good times, some awful times, but they had shared them. Sick Boy would recoup the cash; he was a born exploiter. It was the betrayal. He could see Sick Boy’s more-hurt-than-angry expression already. However, they had been drifting apart for years now. Their mutual antagonism, once a joke, a performance for the benefit of others, had slowly become, through being ritualised in that way, a mundane reality. It was better this way, Renton thought.”]

Spud: You and Simon was like that.

Checkmate.

Renton: Yeah. Like that.

Interesting, the “Your blood runs in my veins, Mark!” line was originally after Simon’s angry outburst at Mark for looking at his watch during Simon’s pitch/walk down memory lane, as opposed to before, which I think adds more emotional weight to the line because it’s said out of anger instead of emotional manipulation and therefore feels more “real.”

And I like this bit at the end: 

A beat. There is nothing to say. Renton and Simon look at one another. The feud is over. Simon starts the car.     

I’m glad the less romantic bits were either cut or softened for the film. Obviously lol. Because the script has a more cynical take on their relationship:

Renton: I look out on the world and I see strangers. And you... you are the... you have the distinction of being-- I don’t know... the least unfamiliar-- that’s it.

Simon: It’s better than nothing.

One of my favorite small bits in the movie was when Mark reassures Simon that his flat isn’t too messy, because it felt like a reminder that, underneath it all, they really are friends. But in the screenplay, it’s with an ulterior motive (the lack of which is precisely why I liked it in the film). The motive being Veronika of course: 

Simon: It’s not a mess, is it?

Renton sees no reason to correct his rival’s failings.

Renton: No. No, it’s just masculine.

The portrayals of the apartment and Simon in general in the film vs. the script are also interesting. The apartment looked fine to me in the film, and Simon as fastidious as ever with his nice clothes and attention paid to his personal appearance (bleaching his hair, straightening his cuffs, usually seen in his nice suits, etc.). Whereas, in the script, he’s described as fairly slovenly. He’s repeatedly introduced in scenes as slouching around in his “underwear,” and his apartment as “the most disgustingly untidy, food-and-booze-container strewn bachelor pit imaginable. Dirty laundry, sticky floors, nightmare kitchen, crusty bathroom.” That doesn’t feel like Simon to me, either in the movies or the books. I’m wondering if Miller and/or Boyle agreed with me and ignored those bits in the script, because the apartment never looks too messy to me, and even while in his “underwear,” Simon is wearing a sexy black tank top that matches his well-fitting black sweatpants. Vain, always.

Another interesting character bit: before Mark and Simon go into the Orangemen bar, the script describes Simon taking off a crucifix necklace he was wearing and handing it to Veronika, suggesting that he’s actually Catholic? I don’t remember that being a “Simon thing” from the books, and it definitely wasn’t in the first movie. After a re-watch of the scene, I noticed that you can see Miller reaching up to take off the necklace hidden beneath his shirt just as the script dictates, but the cut jumps ahead a few seconds before you ever see the necklace. You can also see the gold chain of the crucifix in other scenes when Simon’s being casual in his black tank top, but the cross part is hidden under the shirt. I wonder at both the inclusion and the exclusion.  

I think it’s pretty clear that Simon more or less gives up his plan of revenge against Mark (or at least temporarily forgets about it) after Mark returns to him and is finally honest with him. After all, whether he admits it to himself or not, what Simon really wants is to have Mark back. And he has him by that point, and I don’t think there’s any suggestion that Simon was planning to give him up until old habits assert themselves at the end and he plans to run off with Veronika and the money (and I really question whether he would have gone through with that, given the opportunity). I also don’t think that the film ever suggests that Simon is doing anything with Begbie other than protecting Mark. (I recall it being more nebulous in the book.) Another favorite moment of mine is when Simon tries to shield Mark even when Begbie aims a rifle at them. If that isn’t the height of love for Simon, I don’t know what is. Simon does save Mark from hanging to death in the script as he does in the film, but he doesn’t rush to do so and his first instinct is to try to save himself:

Simon: Frank, I can explain.

Begbie: You knew. Stringing me along, so you were.

Simon is moving towards Begbie, hoping to leave Renton isolated.

Simon: Honestly, please--

And suddenly Begbie strikes him across the side of the head with a tool he held in his hand.

I don’t really have to explain why I dislike that lol. Kinda dampens the bromance through-line when one of the romantic leads attempts to betray the other to save their own skin at the eleventh hour. Simon only comes across as protective in the film. I cannot stress enough that Simon, snake that he is, attempts to shield Mark with his own body. That’s not in the script.

On another note, the Trainspotting ladies get a bit short-changed. Gail lost a few scenes, including a good one with Mark, and it’s made clear that she still loves Spud and that they’re still technically married. I have an even stronger appreciation for Anjela Nedyalkova’s acting, because Veronika comes off as really flat and two-dimensional on the page without the charm she brings to the role. Poor Diane was a much bigger part of the movie, and the loss of her subplot with Mark is borderline criminal. She comes to his rescue more than once. You see the strength of her character, their unspoken bond, and you really get the tragedy of it that these two missed their shot:

Diane: I’m not stopping you. I’m not here for that. I’ll solve your problems and I’ll pick up the pieces and bring you in out of the cold, but I’m not going to stop you making a fool of yourself. That’s up to you.

Renton: Do you ever wonder--

Diane: No. I don’t.

Renton: I do. If you and me... if things had been different...

Diane: No, Mark: if you’d been different.

FEELS. But going back to Mark and Simon...

The through-line of the movie is their relationship, their bond. In the end, you see that they didn’t lose everything, because they still have each other. Finally have each other, thanks to Veronika removing the “opportunity” for betrayal. The temptations and trials are over, and they’re together in “old married couple mode.” When all of their characters are having their “moments” of reconciliation at the end of the film, Spud goes to Gail. Mark goes to his father. Simon thinks about Mark and the good times when they were children. For him, it was always about Mark. In the published script, Simon doesn’t think about Mark. He just dwells on the loss of his “dream” of the sauna and a future with Veronika. I prefer the movie ending.