#where they come in and say ‘it’s nazing time’

[the-scouts-codex]

This takes place during the "Glorious Masquerade"event. This can be read as a one shot or even a full length work. Each part connects and can be its own beginning. I hope you all enjoy these.

The second one is Deuce. The first was Epel (Which can be read there if you click on his name)

Word count: 1570

Um…May I have this next dance!?

Deuce was flushing red as the roses back at Heartslabyul. He hadn't realized that he asked the Prefect to dance so aggressively. Some other students that heard him were laughing at him. Even worse, Riddle saw him and had a look of disappointment on his face. So much for that advice he just got. 

“You had one job, Deuce,” Deuce thought. “Way to go, thunder head!” Ace’s voice rang in his head.  There was no way he would dance with him now. He made an utter fool of himself. The song was perfect and the time was right and he just blew with his cruddy way of asking to dance. If he he was more-

“Yes.” 

Deuce’s derailing train wreck thoughts stopped when he heard the Prefect's faint reply. “Y-You said yes?” Deuce asked again for clarification. 

Renmu nodded. “Hai. I would like to dance.”

Deuce reluctantly held his hand out for Renmu to take and once he did, he led him to a less populated area of the lecture hall. The song wasn’t a slow ballroom dance song, no it was more of a waltz. Deuce was thankful for the dance lessons their upperclassmen gave them. At least he wasn’t making a fool of himself…yet. Their dance started with Deuce bowing at Renmu then Renmu back at him. Renmu placed his arms on Deuce’s and their dance began. 

“Uh, thanks for dancing with me.” Deuce stammered, in the midst of their spin. “I-I didn’t think you would want to.” 

“Naze desu ka?” Renmu asked. 

Deuce stammered. “I mean, I kinda made a fool of myself just now when I asked you. It wasn't cool or gentlemen-like at all. Ace would have laughed his head off if he were here.” 

“That’s because Ace is a jerk…” Renmu mumbled. 

Deuce barked out a laugh. His lopsided grin coming back to his face. “Yeah, he is. It’s a good thing he got left behind.” 

Their dance continued, stepping in three quarter time with the music. Renmu could see some of the other Night Raven boys. Riddle was caught in a waltz with Che’nya. Renmu chuckled and nodded his head in their direction. Deuce looked behind himself and began laughing too. 

“Poor Riddle.” Renmu said softly. 

“Yeah,” Deuce mumbled. “You know Che’nya is probably poking fun at him as they dance. From what I hear, Che’nya loves to play tricks on people.”

Deuce led them into a few spins. Everyone around them was in sync. It was mesmerizing to those that watched from the sidelines but to Renmu and Deuce, it was just a swirling blur of colors. Capes, capelet's, and cloaks, fluttered and danced around them. Dancing like this with Deuce made Renmu realize how tall he was compared to him. He was only a head taller but like this, leading their dance, dressed like a gentleman, Deuce looked the prim and proper student he strives to be. 

Deuce stumbled with their last turn and bumped into another pair of Royal Sword dancers. The two exchanged a brief apology before picking up where they left off. 

Deuce Sighed. “Sorry about that, Perfect. Of course I got dizzy from all the spinning…” 

“Daijoubu desu,” Renmu muttered. 

“But that was so uncool and embarrassing. I-I want to look cool for once…” Deuce mumbled. 

“But you already do to me.” Renmu replied. “You don’t always have to prove it.” 

Deuce wasn’t expecting to hear that from the Prefect. He honestly thought that he saw him as a silly klutz that couldn’t keep his anger in check and sucked at school. He never knew that the Prefect already saw him and the person he strives to be.

“Demo, I like you just the way you are, Decue. Flaws and all. Were…how did you put it…”Dogs”?” 

Deuce couldn’t help but laugh at Renmu using that term. He didn't think he picked up on him saying that, then again, he used it all the time. It sounded silly when he said it though, so unsure and uncertain.

“Man, you sound silly when you say it like that.” Deuce said finally calming down. “But yeah, you my dog, Renmu and don’t you forget it.” 

“I won't,” Came Renmu’s reply. 

With every third step they took. They made an elevated step; raising one side up and swaying. The pattern was easy to follow, nothing too complicated. Three steps, rise and sway, rotate, and repeat. Three steps, rise and sway, rotate, and repeat. Three steps, rise and sway, rotate, and repeat. It was easy to get lost in the methodical mindless rhythm of the dance. It became automatic, doing the steps and listening to the music. Renmu felt blissful peace. He was so at peace that he hadn’t realized that he had closed his eyes. Deuce just watched the Prefect. He enjoyed seeing him so happy, despite what they had been through. Not just about what happened yesterday but since day one. He wanted to make the best of it for Renmu now that he was here. 

“Say, Renmu…” Deuce spoke out softly.

Renmu opened his eyes. “Hai?”

“So uh, I hope this little incident doesn't change your view on traveling to other places in this world.”

Renmu cocked his head in confusion.”Why would it? We’ve been through worse…”

Deuce shrugged awkwardly, “I-I don’t know. It’s just-Just wasn't sure if this whole “Rollo” thing was gonna make you not want to potentially come home with me…one day…”

“O-Oh, you mean your home country?” Renmu asked for clarification. 

Deuce nodded. “Like my hometown and stuff. I want you to see it all one day. Me and you. Well, of course Grim too and-and watch me become a Magic Officer!”

“One day?” Renmu thought to himself. Those words brought him joy yet sorrow. One day, he would leave this school and whatever happens to him after that would still be a mystery. One day, he would end up going back home, to his world, and never see them again. If he had a choice on what to do about “One day”, he would choose the latter. One day, he would travel all of Twisted Wonderland with his friends. One day, he would go home with Deuce and see him become an officer.

“And maybe we can come back here too and-” 

Renmu couldn’t help but laugh at Deuce’s eagerness to want to do many things with him. “Gomen ne, lets just go one day at a time, yeah? Who knows what more trouble we will get into.”

Deuce laughed too. “Yeah, we have gotten into a lot since we enrolled in NRC. But a lot of it is kinda fun…” 

Renmu nodded, “Yeah, it is.” 

They went back to the methodical mindless rhythm of the dance.  With every third step they took. they made an elevated step; raising one side up and swaying. The pattern was easy to follow, nothing too complicated. Three steps, rise and sway, rotate, and repeat. Three steps, rise and sway, rotate, and repeat. Three steps, rise and sway, rotate, and repeat. It became automatic, doing the steps and listening to the music. Everyone around them was in sync. It was mesmerizing, it was a swirling blur of colors, capes, capelet's, and cloaks, fluttered and danced around them. 

Their dance came to an end as the song finished. Everyone took a step back and bowed at their partners. The lecture hall erupted in a round of applause. It was a lot louder since they ended up more into the center of the hall by the end of their dance.

Deuce smiled brightly. “Thanks for dancing with me, Prefect!” 

“Zenzen daijoubu da ya. We’re dogs after all.” 

Deuce laughed and nudged Renmu on the shoulder. “Yeah, we’re dogs. See ya, dog.” 

Renmu watched the card soldier disappear off into the crowd. He was probably going to find Riddle to tell him about his success in dancing. Renmu took that moment to scoot his way out of the middle of the floor and to a less populated area. He should probably find his fur ball of a friend soon since he shouldn’t be left alone. Then again, nothing was on fire so he should be fine, right? 

Renmu was contemplating what he should do when a soft voice broke him out of his mini dilemma.

“Prefect.”

Renmu turned around to find Silver this time with a not so happy green haired freshman at his side.

“O-Oh, is there something wrong?”

“Oh no, nothing is wrong.” Silver replied to Sebeks dismay. “Sebek over here needs to ask you something.”

Renmu looked at Sebek whose face was a tad flushed. He looked like he was conflicted about something. Better yet, he looked nervous. He was fidgeting and grumbling to himself. That was something Renmu never saw Sebek do. He was normally overly confident and bold.

“Is there something wro-”

“Nothing is wrong!” Sebek shouted. “Silver, I can handle this myself!” 

“Are you sure?” Silver asked. “Malleus said I should make sure you ask nicely.” 

Sebek growled. “Of course I can! You’re ruining it Silver so just go back to His Majesty!”

Renmu was confused on why they were fighting and what it had to do with him. He was getting ready to ask what was all of this even about until Sebek took a breath and faced him, eyes determined, lips curled into that angry looking scowl he always had,  and yelled…

Thanks for reading the second part. Can you guess who might be next?

Sebek is here.

[tokiro07]

A while ago I saw you did a top 5 list of Favorite Shonen Jump girls in ongoing series. Is it possible to do a part 2 of that on maybe a top 10 Shonen Jump girls on series that already concluded? I suggest a top 10 since obviously there are way more concluded series.

You sure know the way to my heart: asking me to make an itemized list of things I like!

Anonymity Requested (Cipher Academy): I'm sure you knew this one was coming since @wickedsick so RUDELY kept me from including her last time! A real nasty woman, easily one of the most interesting characters to read in Jump. Losing Cipher Academy meant losing her, and my heart aches every day

Youka Naze (Medaka Box): Speaking of nasty women...I did previously put her below Nienami on my Top 10 Medaka Box characters list, but the criteria for these lists just feels different, and Naze is undeniably more of a "Best Girl" for me than Nienami

Himiko Toga (My Hero Academia): We love a bisexual polyamorous queen, and her character arc was a strong motivator for keeping me reading even after my interest in the series had started to wane. I don't love how her story ended, but I'm hesitant to say I hated it either

Chrome Dokuro (Reborn!): Akira Amano's crowning achievement in narrative fumbling - easily had the most fascinating character premise in the entire series which inherently lent itself to a potentially great character arc that resulted in her doing absolutely nothing of import ever. Still, I can't resent Chrome for how she was mishandled, so I love her all the same

Nao Okiba (Martial Master Asumi): I went in biased towards MMA thanks to Hinomaru Zumou, but Okiba's design and personality both immediately locked me in. She's easily the part I miss most, even beyond the lost potential for more Hinomaru callbacks. That said, Hanagasaki definitely gave her a run for her money...

Ikumi Mito OR Rindou Kobayashi (Shokugeki no Soma): For the life of me I can't decide which of these two I like more - I like Nikumi's characterization a lot better, but Rindou's design is just so good. Gun to my head, I think I'd go with the character I like more over the design I like more, but Rindou's got enough personality that I can't just unilaterally drop her from the rankings

Mitsuri Kanroji (Kimetsu no Yaiba): I've cooled down a lot on Demon Slayer in the years since it ended, and unfortunately my feelings for Kanroji have gone with it, but I still feel great fondness for her when I see art or merch of her

Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck (Bleach): Purely an aesthetic attraction, she looks like if Monet were a centaur instead of a harpy. Legit, I can't remember a single thing about her personality outside of her child form, but she's a green speargirl, you think I'm not going to love her???

Melk II (Toriko): A nostalgia pick; I got into Toriko at a time where I would read a series' Wikipedia and TVTropes pages in their entireties before getting into it, so naturally I got Melk's gender reveal spoiled for me, and I got SUPER endeared to her. I thought she was going to be a major recurring character, which sadly turned out not to be true, but now she represents an aspect of my personality and past that I'd long since forgotten, so those feelings of attachment came rushing back the moment I saw her name again

Terra/Chi-Chan (Earthchild): Say what you will about Earthchild as a story, Terra's design is fantastic - the imagery of a God who holds the Earth in her mouth as a lollipop has stuck with me ever since she first showed up, and her blue hair highlighted to look like the rippling waters of the ocean is simply gorgeous. I also just found her pretty intimidating as an omnipotent antagonist, like if Medaka Box's Ajimu were actively aggressive. I think if Hideo Shinkai had baked in a bit more variety to his world, he could have drawn out Terra's role as an antagonist in a lot of super interesting ways, and i hope he gets a chance to show off his design sense like this again in the future

This list went a lot differently than I thought it was going to when I saw the ask, and I had an absolute blast writing it! Thanks for giving me an excuse to revisit some old faves!

[snowdust64]

Wish with Clematis – romaji and English translation

Original lyrics: Kiyoura Natsumi Translation and romanization by Snowdust64 ========== This is a line-for-line translation. Implied pronouns are in brackets with my best guesses… these lyrics were quite vague, so interpret them liberally. Additional translation notes at the end. ==========

kudake chitta yume no kakera   hiroi atsume furatsuku karada   moteamashita   oroka mono

Gathering up the fragments of shattered dreams A fool with a feeble body that held on to too much

‘ittai nani ga warui to iu no?’ mugen no meikyū   sama yotte iradachi sae kakusezu sugaru   aware na yoru

‘What exactly is wrong?’ Wandering, lost, in an infinite labyrinth Clinging on, not even hiding [my] irritation, it’s a pitiful night

monogatari no yukue o shirinagara ochiteku

Knowing where the story is going [I] fall

buzama na kokoro   kakimushitte sakendemo   sakendemo sekai no hate ni   hitorikiri sukuwaretai   bukkowashite

Clawing at this pathetic heart Though [I] scream and scream [I’m] alone at the edge of the world Wanting to be saved, destroy it all

gyakuten geki no fināre o tsukami toru no wa onore darou niramitsuketa   nibīro no sora ketsubetsu no toki

A finale of grand reversal The one to seize it will be [my]self Stared at by the dull sky It’s time to bid farewell

junjō butta aijō sae utomashikute naze ka giman no uzu ni   sainamareteku kayowai kohitsuji yo

Even innocent-appearing affections are unpleasant Somehow [I’m] tormented by swirling deceptions A weak little lamb

furimukeba hohoemu shinigami ga temaneku nanimokamo nakushite mo mamorubeki yume datta

If [I] turn around, a smiling grim reaper beckons Even if [I] lost everything It was a dream that had to be protected

kōya ni tachi   te wo nobashita agaite mo   agaite mo ikitsugi mo dekinai hodo ni itoshikute kienaide

Standing in the chaotic wilderness, [I] reached out Though [I] struggle and struggle So much that [I] can’t even breathe [You’re] so dear, don’t disappear *

uragirimono no ikikata o erabi toru no wa onore darou kogasu mune ga itamu hodo ni ikiteiru ki ga shita

A traitor’s way of life The one who chose to take that on was [my]self So much that even this burnt-out heart ached ** [I] felt alive

buzama na kokoro   kakimushitte sakende mo   saken demo sekai no hate ni   hitorikiri sukuwaretai   bukkowashite

Clawing at this pathetic heart Though [I] scream and scream [I’m] alone at the edge of the world Wanting to be saved, destroy it all

gyakuten geki no fināre o tsukami toru no wa onore darou niramitsuketa nibīro no sora ketsubetsu no toki

A finale of grand reversal The one to seize it will be [my]self Stared at by the dull sky It’s time to bid farewell

genkai nante shiranaide sanzan ai   tsukihanashite genjō iji o bukkowashite

Without knowing the limit Push away all the love *** Destroy the status quo

===== Translation notes =====

*  Ah, the challenges of translating implied pronouns! This entire song is not even clearly in first-person, because no explicit first-person pronouns appeared at any point. It was extra hard to decide how to phrase this line. I was split between ‘you’ and ‘it’ because the subject could easily be something instead of someone.

**  If I understood the wording here, it’s more accurate to say this person’s heart is not burnt-out yet, but in the process of burning out. (Yes, the metaphor in Japanese is also about burning, like by fire.)

***  I translated ‘sanzan ai’ as ‘all the love,’ but it implies different forms or episodes of love. To give an example, this person could be rejecting all the different forms of love that would come from family vs. romantic partners vs. friends, etc.

Delving into the title – “クレマチスの祈り” (kuremachisu no inori). If it were up to me, I would have translated it as “Wish of the Clematis” or “Clematis’ Prayer” or something in between. But anyway –

Clematis are a group of flowering plants with climbing vines. I did a quick search to see if there was any culturally-specific symbolism for clematis in Japan. The common phrase that seemed most relevant was "精神の美" (seishin no bi) meaning 'beauty of the spirit.' A gardening website explained that this refers to how the plant produces large flowers despite its thin vines.

I grew up around a lot of plants, so here is a bit of my personal take too: With the right environment, clematis can literally climb to the top of whatever you give them. So, even though the lyrics are pretty dark, I think the title adds an air of strength and perseverance to this song. Just my thoughts.

Thanks for reading!

[artillatron]

Gundam Iron-Blooded Orphans

Character thoughts below

Iron-Blooded Orphans is a story with a lot of contradictions, and so far it seems like it's asking difficult questions, but unlike other series there are some questions that just don't have good answers.

Mikazuki - I know he's a protagonist, but I really would like to have seen more about him. I like the archetype of the hollow shell willing to do anything to repay the life that was saved, but we don't get much more about what lead to that alleyway, or how he and Orga came to meet, was it in that moment? Before that? How long? Cool character, and I especially like his limit breaking having physical consequences, which serves to show his determination and give consequence to Orga's actions.

Orga - A man who pushes limits, then gets in over his head before he knows it and dies to his own hubris. I find it fascinating to try and pinpoint where exactly he went wrong, because he has rationale but by the end we realize he's in too deep, and I especially like that he tries offering himself as a sacrifice, but is rebuked because he isn't the only one responsible for their situation, and the very same parts of him that got them from Mars to Earth in the first place is also the reason they end up hunted, like many things in the series I feel goes with the theme of double edged swords.

Biscuit - My man, I saw someone say he was the voice of reason for Tekkadan, and maybe he was. As the only one to ever really challenge Orga, once he's out of the picture Orga immediately becomes more reckless. There were so many unnecessary losses in the assault on the city, and Biscuit would never have allowed them to go in with that kind of plan. Their ultimate tactic does work, but only out of attrition and desperation do they succeed. That's where you start to see the blind faith in Orga cut both ways, it does let them hold on and win, but so many would have survived from that point and further if Biscuit was there. Perhaps even more, because Biscuit could have been leading the earth branch and certainly would have identified issues immediately, unlike Takaki, who although was thrust into it, was not prepared to lead.

Kudelia - A good foil to Orga, someone who continues to fight using peace, and who looks at the path she takes to the future. What will it take to make that future as good as it can be? There are shorter paths, but as Orga is warned, making more enemies to take the shortest path isn't the smartest choice. I do not understand her whole thing with Mikazuki and Atra though, that was just kind of a mess.

Mcgillis - The representation of power, and how it cannot come from a single man. Despite his training, ruthlessness, skill, and getting a legendary gundam, he can't win. He loses to Gaelio, who isn't alone because of Ein, and Rustal's forces decimate him. Despite everything, one man cannot hold power alone.

Naze - Really cool guy, loves women, does his best to be a mentor.

Amida - One of the few times I can remember a wife guy having a wife who clearly loves him in the same way, beautiful and talented and a queen.

Rustal - The bad guy, then the "good" guy, but never a good guy. He was only forced into a democracy at the end because of Mcgillis' actions, but I get the feeling he would have tried to become a dictator under different circumstances. SOB for using Julietta, Iok, and Gaelio like that.

Merribit - I was always frustrated with her choice to stay, and especially to not speak up at the end of season 1. She does care about Tekkadan, but she feels like another variation on the failure of adults in the series, she should have stopped them, should have at least tried, but can't bring herself to say anything. Perhaps out of pity, but without a voice to rein in Orga, it leads to the youngest cheering Mikazuki tearing apart Carta, witnessing violence beyond their years, and seeking single minded vengeance, which is the cause of nearly all members that die overall. Iok - Fuck that guy, the galaxy's dumbest soldier, got his own people slaughtered, was a coward and a tool the whole series, deserved even worse than what he got.

[bubblingbeebles]

gundam IBO aka my problems with mari okada

i finished gundam IBO, tried to figure out why it felt so wrong, and only afterwards found out it was written by mari okada and honestly that explains so much.

if she somehow reads this post i’m sorry but here is my thesis about mari okada: all of her works have the same two problems:

1 - they set up a situation that will pull on your heartstrings, but then pull so much harder than was narratively justified that it breaks immersion and ruins the impact

2 - they have weirdly-romanticized ideas about romance, basically where a character falls for some idea that a person represents rather than the person themself, while also usually either (a) being heteronormative and/or steeped in tropey gender roles (b) ignoring perfectly good (less idolizing) chemistry between a different pairing

spoiler zone under the cut.

first of all, disclaimer: the other okada works i’ve seen that i’m comparing to are anohana, nakitai neko, maquia, and toradora. i found the first two to be insufferable, textbook examples of both problems. i liked maquia because i think it got the heartstring pull right, perhaps as a fluke, and avoided problem 2 by being about motherhood instead of romance. i tolerate toradora because, despite the annoying harem, it at least subverted problem 2 in the end by ending with the pairing that has actual chemistry.

IBO, i also find to be textbook examples of both problems, and both problems boil down to the fact that the show never really graduates from the toxic orga-mika-flashback ideology (”keep fighting until we reach the promised land“)

problem 1 basically comes down to how dark the ending is, how much they all lose in the end. the show presents an oppressive system - not just evil individuals - and so many ways our protags could have beat that system, but ultimately makes each one fail either through chance or through character flaw, and like, that’s not just crushing as a story beat, that’s crushing on the meta level of what makes a good story. the show could have been about cashing out with a peaceful life (i.e. not pursue the “king of mars” dream), but no. the show could have been about refusing to let the ends justify the means (i.e. refuse to partner with char chocolate mcgillis), but no. the show could have been about political reform and postwar quality of life (i.e. give any screentime to kudelia’s s2 business exploits), but no. in each case the orga-mika ideology blinded them to everything but to fight. the show set up from the very beginning to have them outgrow that ideology, and then spectacularly failed to deliver.

back on the object level, a more obvious example of problem 1 is just the string of named character killings. in season 1, biscuit’s death had meaningful narrative consequences. in season 2, i predicted naze would die after being politically maneuvered into some corner, which would have been narratively satisfying... if they payoff had been anything other than “now more characters will die with increasingly little justification”. we get the same exact story beat with takaki/aston, with akihiro/lafter, with yamagi/shino, and ultimately with orga. i’m not saying “war produces senseless deaths en masse” is a bad moral, i’m saying that repeating the same exact setup four times robs that moral of its emotional impact.

anyways, on to problem 2: atra and kudelia.

i should be happy about our girls getting a happy end where they’re literally married! i really should! the thing is..! the whole framing around it is stained with authorial intent so deeply that even this literal gay marriage is somehow heteronormative.

in short: the on-screen pretense of their relationship dramatically fails the bechdel test. (whatever happens off screen, the camera lens matters.)

in long: atra and kudelia explicitly talk about their respective relationships to mikazuki in that exact mari-okada-weirdly-romanticized way (”when a girl is crying, a boy should console her”), whereas their relationship to each other is, while obvious, unstated so explicitly as that, and i think that - because of okada’s track record - you need to do some heavy death-of-the-author-ing if you want to claim that they, in character, realize they have romantic chemistry on their own. moreover, as i wrote before i saw s2:

when she was jealous of kudelia about mikazuki, and then all it took was 1 poly adult role model to instantly break her out of that, was such a moment. i hope she meets a gay person and has the same moment again and then (becomes an adult and then) they date

...this of course never happens(*), and so, literally married as they are, occam’s razor says that in character, the only role model they have remains naze’s harem, where women can only be connected romantically indirectly via a guy -- in their case, the memory of a deceased emotional blank slate of a guy, as newly embodied in akatsuki -- and thus they are together because that indirection makes them platonic family (which is a powerful theme of the show in its own right, so it naturally completes the logic here).

(*worse yet: the only on-screen-text-canon gay character, yamagi, is heavily tokenized and brutally bury-your-gays-ed, and i find this actively harms the case, because it sets the precedent that if it was gay, they could have been explicit about it.)

if okada sensei had just spent 5 seconds of screen time for one of them to say “you know, what we have with each other is also romantic, isn’t it”, it would have been an amazing subversion of her own trope, but no. i can’t ignore the author here even if, underneath the metatext, their chemistry and their happy end are undeniable.

and that, i suppose, is why i am so eager about witch from mercury, even if its politics are even more incoherent than ever. it at least gives us - not just the queerness - but the queer-normativity we deserve in storytelling.

[fantasyinvader]

It just kinda hit me that Mika’s story comes full circle at the end. First episode, he was sent out to die while his shitty commanders can retreat (before Orga uno-reverse betrays them), only to die while fighting when the rest of Tekkadan retreats. But you look at what Tekkadan has become.

Orga ousted the old management of CGS in order to prevent them from sending the kids under his command into high risk scenarios, only for Orga himself putting them into those scenarios as time went on. Orga would join forces with McGillis in order to become “king of Mars” without even knowing what the plan was, and just before he died he realized he should have focused on getting his men to their happy ending SAFELY rather than ASAP.It was this same “get there quick” attitude that alienated Tekkadan from the rest of the mafia organization they joined and got Naze killed. Orga also keep recruiting kids, telling them they could leave if they wanted to while ignoring that most of them are escaping crushing poverty just like Orga did. The reasons why kids say they join up is a list of push factors for child soldier recruitment, why the UN views it as an act of exploitation rather than the benevolence IBO paints it as. 

Combine this with Mikazuki’s own arc. The kid had his own dreams and ambitions, and in the first season would take the initiative into pursuing them when offered. Pay attention to him in the second season and he’s stopped doing that. His studies have fallen behind despite not having anything else to do on base due to his disabilities, and is less enthusiastic about going to the Sakura farm. When he’s unable to pursue them anymore, he’s happy because he viewed them as an unwanted distraction from helping Orga. Meanwhile, Barbatos becomes more monstrous looking while Mikazuki focuses on something else he finds enjoyment in. Killing.

Combine this with Akihiro’s arc where he tosses aside mercy and begins killing kids. Combine this with Shino going from calling out hail Mary’s as suicide and questioning who would do such a thing to him doing such a thing and dying. Add Eugene going from someone who is antagonistic to Orga and his leadership to saying he goes along with what Orga says because it makes things easier for Orga. Or Biscuit, originally joining CGS to provide for his family only to put Tekkadan above them. Twice, and each time his sisters lost a brother.

Mikazuki holding the line stops being this heroic last stand because of what he’s trying to protect. He and his friends lived long enough to se themselves become the villains, and he’s just following the last orders Orga gave him.

[katieaiko]

I’m studying to be a Japanese translator. (And Proofreader)

I wasn’t sure where I should post this, since I’ve been almost exclusively an art blog for a while now. I hope no one will mind this too much. As much as I love art, I would also like to have some backup plans and not rely too heavily on art to make an income.

This is something I’ve wanted to do seriously for a while, but I was never sure how to go about it, and have been trying to learn on my own time using whatever online dictionaries, videos, etc. that I can find. I’ve always been good at English grammar, but never really had anything to apply that to. Even If I’m not good enough to be the main translator, I would love to be an editor/proofreader.

I want to preface that this is not a word-for-word translation. I was trying to compromise between a literal translation and what flowed better in English. Although there are a few lines that I’m not confident on and would love another opinion on. I would love to at least be a step above Google Translate, so hopefully I’ve accomplished that!

This is a song that I’ve translated exclusively from Romaji. I couldn’t find any kanji translations, so I used Jisho and Google to make one myself. Any suggestions or corrections in the comments would be greatly appreciated!

Under the Sea, Kingdom Hearts II ver. (English)

The seaweed next-door seems greener to you

but going up to land would be a big mistake!

just have a good look around you, right here on the ocean floor

what a splendid world we have here! What more could you wish for?

It’s wonderful! Under the sea!

Darling, believe what I have to say!

Up there, all they do is work from dawn until evening

down here we’re lucky, the whole time we’re playing

Under the sea!

Down here, all the fish are happy

frolicking with the waves

up there, the fish are unhappy

in their small little fishtanks

but you see, they’ve still got it better

someday, someone will get hungry

and soon they’ll be on the plate! Uh oh!

It’s wonderful! Under the sea!

No one’s gonna use a knife or frypan on us!

up there we’re ingredients to cook

down here we’ve got no worries at all! 

Everyday is delightful!

Under the sea! (it’s wonderful!)

Under the sea! (it’s wonderful!)

Singing and dancing, everyone’s happy

it’s a great feeling! (feeling so good, good, good!)

the various fish play their instruments

That’s why that is! You get it now?

Under the sea!

Over there’s a flute

right here’s a harp

The base line’s looking sharp

the brass is nice and the drums are all good

Just swing with the rhythm

You can do it if you just try! Come one! Get into the rhythm and sing along~

Do without those troubles of yours and let’s live it up!

Way to go! Yahoo~

Under the sea! (it’s wonderful)

Under the sea! (it’s wonderful)

This bright beguine rhythm is just for me (just for us)

humans got sand and more sand, we’ve got a stylish jazz band!

The snazzy Jazzman is always in session! It’s wonderful!

The cute dancers are shaking their frills! It’s wonderful!

we’re happy to choose the wild

that’s why it’s the best out in the ocean

nothings beats the sea life here!

Under the sea~

ANDA ZA SHII (Romaji)

(Under the Sea, Kingdom Hearts II ver.)

Tonari no kaisou wa aoku mieru sa

riku ni yuku no wa ooki na machigai

mawari wo mite goran kono umi no soko

nante suteki na sakai sa kore ijou nani wo nozomu?

Subarashii!  ANDA SA SHII~

DAARIN watashi no iu koto shinjite!

acchi ja hataraku dake asa kara ban made

kocchi ja zutto asonde RAKII

ANDA ZA SHII~

Koko dewa minna HAPPII

nami to tawamure

acchi dewa ANHAPPII

semai suisou de

dakedo ne mata mashi

itsuka dareka ga harapeko ni nattara

sugu sara no ue (yadane!)

Subarashii! ANDA ZA SHII~

dare mo houchou FURAIPAN tsukawanai!

acchi ja ryouri no neta

kocchi ja nobinobi to

mainichi ga tanoshii yo!

ANDA ZA SHII! (subarashii)

ANDA ZA SHII! (subarashii)

Utatte odotte minna HAPPII

kimochi ii (kimochi ii ii ii)

Ironna sakana-tachi kanaderu ongaku

sore wa naze? wakaru naze?

ANDA ZA SHII!

Acchi ja FURUTO

kocchi ja HAAPO

ano BESSU RAINU wa kimatteru

BURASSU mo NAISU DORAMMU mo GUUDO

SUWINGU no RIZUMU

yareba dekiru no sa hora RIZUMU ni notte utaou

muzukashii koto wa nuki iki ni kimeyou!

(Iizo!) (Yahoo!)

ANDA ZA SHII! (subarashii!)

ANDA ZA SHII! (subarashii!)

akarui BIGIN no RIZUMU watashi no tame! (minna no tame)

ningen ni wa suna SANDO minna wa iki na JAZZU BANDO!

iki na JAZZU MAN itsumo SESSHAN subarashii!

WAIRUDO ni kimete HAPPII dakara saikou umi no soko

koko wa saikou umi no kurashi

ANDA ZA SHII~

アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ(Kanji)

(Under the Sea, Kingdom Hearts II ver.)

隣の海藻は  青く見えるさ

陸に行くのは  大きいな間違い

回りを見てごらん  この海のそこ

何て素敵な世界だ  これ 以上 何を望む

素晴らしい  アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ

ダーリーン 私の言うこと信じて

あっちじゃ働くだけ  朝から晩まで

こっちじゃずっと  遊んで  ラッキー

アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ

ここではみんな  ハッピー

波と戯れ

あっちで は  アンハッピー

狭い水槽で

だけどね  またまし

いつか誰かが  はらぺこに成ったら

すぐ皿の上  (やだね)

素晴らしい  アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ

誰も包丁フライ・パ ン使わない

あっちじゃ料理のね��

こっちじゃ  のびのびと

毎日が楽しいよ

アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ (素晴らしい)

アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ (素晴らしい)

歌って踊って みんな ハッピー

気持ちいい ( 気持ちいい   いい   いい)

色んな魚たち  奏でる音楽

それはなぜ   分かるなぜ

アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ

こっちじゃフルト

あっちじゃハーポ

あのベッスライヌは決まってる

ブラッスもナイスドラムもグード

スヰングのリズム

やれば出来るのさ ほら  リズムに乗って  歌おう

難しいことは抜き  生きに決めよ

( いいぞ) ( ヤホー)

アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ (素晴らしい)

アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ (素晴らしい)

明るいビギン のリズム私のため  (みんなのため)

人間には砂サンド   みんなは 粋なジャッズ・バンド

粋なジャッズマンいつもセッシャン   素晴らしい

かわいダンサフリル 揺れて   素晴らしい

ワイルドに 決めてハッピー

だから最高 海のそこ

ここは最高 海の暮らし

アンダ ・ ザ ・ シイ

[supergenial]

[translation+lyrics] 俯瞰ショウルーム by 鈴葉ユミ

Well Suzuha Yumi did say recently she wants to be perceived as a mysterious lady, and so she put out this song that seems to be about someone reliving their murder, over and over, and over again. Ok. Cool. Lyrics down below and see you all next time!

--------------------------------------

俯瞰ショウルーム (Fukan Showroom, Overviewed Shoowroom)

nandomo toi kakete wa kie kawaranai keshiki wa yukkuri to kuchiteku -tasukete todokanai koe-

My unending question fades Even the static landscape slowly decays -A cry for help that will not reach anyone-

nandomo kurikaesu kyou wo aa mata hajime kara yarinaoshiteru

How many times must we redo this day Ah, it's starting all over again

nando sou tashikametatte sa kono hewa ni 「kyou」wa konain dayo

Yet no matter how many times I try -Today- will simply not come to this room

akumade yubikiri gurashi wareta garasu no fuchi de tsutaeru ai wo tada mite hoshikute kowareyuku sono mama

To the bitter end, left with no recourse Trying to convey this love through the broken glass of fate I just want to see you but it keeps tearing up into pieces

aoi hako ni tsumerareteru eien wo nozoku oku tooku aseta gozen reiji akai denkyuu ga itsumademo mawari tsutsukeru netsu retsu nashita kage hitotsu funde

Forever laying in this blue box Everything beyond it fades away at midnight This red light bulb is always spinning around As the pieces line up, that shadow steps out

kondo wa chigau ketsumatsu wo byou kizumi no sentaku iki ga dekinai

This time it might not end the same way and yet once again I can’t breathe by the end

nando mou kurikaeshitakke tadoritsukenai endorooru

How many times must we go over this will the ending credits never roll for me?

akumade sorasenu shiin iya na kioku no surikae dake jouzu de tada waratte hoshikute muku na me wa utsurou

Unable to look away from this scene to part from this memory I just want you to laugh Yet these innocent wishes go ungranted

shiroi heya de mawatteru firumu tsugihagi darake no memo te wo nobasu gozen niji kuroi shimi darake no shinario yakusha wa hitori futari ki ga furete waku aditariumu

A film covers this white room it gets patched up in memos at 2am A truly somber scenario Where the one, now two protagonists go mad as the auditorium heats up

sepia no sora ni shizumu mikaiketsu no eizou sou kyou mo utsuru shikakui butai wa mou omoi dasenai shiawase naze are? ame furi kage wa kyou mo mata fuete

An unrealized imagery sinking into the sepia skies That's the play within this stage once again today I can no longer remember happiness, why? As the rain pours, the shadows creep once again

[kuroosweakness]

Even more facts about 🐾 anon:

- Idk why but positive words hurt me the most, like when someone says I’m their favorite person in the world only to not mean what they said actually makes me cry a little, but what makes me the most sad is knowing when someone is there for me that I can tell everything in the world too. Just them hugging me makes me feel that.

- I got into anime bc one of my past fav youtubers was into it and so I watched it. I basically started w the YouTube starter pack but actually started w magical girl animes (like Tokyo mew mew (the one she watched) and glitter force) then I drifted to miss kobayashi’s dragon maid to shonen animes

- No thoughts, head empty

- My music taste is probably the average anime tiktoker, like I listen to everything but reverbed and slowed Or in Lo-fi like, Lemon Boy and Me and My Husband but my favorite song to listen to in reverb is Daisy

- I kin music, like it might be weird idc but I do like the beats that are happy but also unsettling? I kin those. Like Not Allowed by tv girl? The part that goes “ALL BY YOURSELF, SITTING ALONE. I HOPE WE’RE STILL FRIENDS YEAH I HOPE YOU DONT MIND” and just loops is the best part to me. “Kaiwa ga tsuzukanai na? Naze da dou shite da? Aho ka?” From to prob the rest of the song of Pretty cvnt by sewerslvt idk I haven’t listened to the full song lmao but the actual meaning of the lyrics don’t matter tho so just know I probably don’t rlly care to look up w that means so it doesn’t ruin it for me ;-;

- I’m a extrovert (:OOO OMG THOSE EXIST) yeah I exist 😩 it’s real easy for me to walk up to someone and start talking since I’m really open about myself and don’t bother to hide things... (except the stuff like y’know... reading fanfics cuz no sane person is gonna go to a random person like “I LIKE READING FANFICTION!” Like I’d probably scared of u now if I was a normie.

- I don’t like being told I’m wrong if I know for a fact I’m right. Like if I say the sky is green and you say the sky is blue I’ll be perfectly fine with that but if you question my intelligence in levels other than that like for a fact from an anime I really like and call me out for being dumb bc I said one thing wrong for example I say “kuroos fav food is grilled salted-mackerel pike” or “itadori’s type are girls like jennifer Lawrence and I find that funny” and you say “no thats stupid” I’m going to call you and scream at you or fight you on sight next time I see you there are no other options. Jk I’ll only threaten you w those and never do it bc I prob love u too much and just give you facts from a easy google search

- Bruh people need to love themselves more like how will you ever love other people if you don’t know how to love yourself? You should always love yourself first before learning to love others because why would you wanna spend your life hating yourself? You’re gonna be with yourself for the rest of your life, even when you’re dead when you really think about it.

- My sleep schedule is chaotic

- I view myself as a good person, but on a chart of chaotic good to lawful evil, I’m probably the most neutral person you’ll ever meet. And I’m genuinely like that. I abide by my own laws. The government doesn’t tell me what’s wrong but neither am I truly against it. I don’t do things like steal but I’ll run in the halls to get to where I need to go or be on my phone during class (most likely with permission because I’m always reading on my phone) that’s why I’m my hero academia and shows the have good and evil bro wtf? Imma be in the middle. I truly think myself as someone you can trust to keep a secret and help when needed but I won’t spy for you on the other group and rat you out. First person that asks I’ll prob help if it’s not hurting someone (most likely bc I’m prob naive and the way you word something like let’s say you asked me to go to a bank to make a deposit or something and now all a sudden come out with money bags like HUHHHHHHHHH? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING A DEPOSIT NOT MAKING AN ILLEGAL WITHDRAWERY WITH ALL THEIR MONEYYYY? (Like my friends and I literally joke about this.) Now all a sudden I’m a getaway driver cause god knows I can’t trust the police with my life😩😩 tfw someone makes you rob a back w/o you knowing✊😔)

- Ayo idc what you do with your life I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, like people trying to peer pressure me into idk let’s say smoking, LIKE BRO I HAVE ASTHMA, IDC HOW GOOD IT MAKE YOU FEEL, ILL LITERALLY DIE IF I DO THAT WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TRICK ME INTO IT

- I’ve tasted alcohol (REALLY IT WAS ON ACCIDENT I WAS AT CHURCH AND ACCIDENTALLY CHOSE THE WINE INSTEAD OF GRAPE JUICE) before and I will now say I’ll never drink it because that’s the nastiest drink I’ve ever drunken in life

- One of my favorite songs are Love Taste by Moe Shop

- My favorite Pokémon game is prob ultra sun and moon

- don’t ask why I decided to watch every Pokémon movie and play every Pokémon game from X and Y and up (I found a friend that has platinum and am playing it but it’s also the first time ive really lost a Pokémon battle and idk that just started something like how dare you win over ME? THE MAIN CHARACTER? YOU NPC, I HAVE THE AUDACITY TO E N D YOU RIGHT NOW)

- first things first, u seem such like a fun person to be around! 

- i get that, kind words definitely hits :’ you’re very lucky to have people like that in your life, and that person is very very lucky to have you in their life! 

- ohhh okay okay i’m assuming you fell into the anime hole too :D 

- me too, me too. no thoughts, just staying in bed with suna by ur side 

- ur music taste!! ✨

- i’m listening to “not allowed” right now and now i feel like skateboarding...you’re right, it’s very happy but also unsettling :) 

- an extrovert, okay okayy while i don’t understand extroverts, i’m very thankful for extroverts’ existence :)) 

omg i remember people talking about how they “used” to read fanfiction and i was sitting there like 👀 yeah i still do ...and now not only do i read, but also write- 

- ahhhh being told ur wrong when u know ur right is such an awkward place to be 😭i’m glad u stand up for urself though! usually, i just nod like okay, ig 

- i- it’s a lot harder said than done to love ourselves :’) especially when there are so many reasons we believe not to. but self love is the MOST IMPORTANT LOVE! 

- not to sound like a parent lmao but try to maintain a good sleeping schedule! it’ll benefit u in many many factors, especially in the future! <3 

- okay okayy u seem like a really interesting person,  i was very amused while reading that paragraph  :))

- i- yes, health > everything else 

- make sure to choose grape juice next time :’) !! 

- i’m listening to it right now hehe 

- pokemon!!! my childhood was full of pokemon ahhh 

- u definitely know a lot more about pokemon than i do, okay okay, the main character always wins ;) 

[xianglingslesbian]

okay so since it’s izuki’s birthday let’s... analyse his character songs and what they say about him! i’ve been wanting to do this post for awhile, and what better day than today?

(shut up, i am not obsessed)

(okay maybe i’m a little obsessed but i mean LOOK AT HIM)

first up is kitakore which you can listen to here!! kitakore is really just a fun hammy song with tons of puns (literally. every line is a pun. it can feel like a punch to the gut. kitakore!). BUT there are still a couple of impactful lines!

Uzagararete mo yamerarenai (English: Even if I get on your nerves, I can’t stop)

i honestly think that this line attests to izuki being neurodivergent in some way. as the amazing Timb @natureismynature​ expanded on in her fic (which you can read here), izuki’s puns could be a form of verbal stimming that helps calm him down. it’s one of my favourite headcanons that he’s autistic and/or ADHD (the latter being projection, tbh), because yay for neurodivergent characters~

kitakore is sung with a quick tempo and a peppy beat, which adds to the whole relaxed vibe of the song. this is something you could sit and listen to while chilling on the beach, or while scrolling through memes on your phone. it also showcases the VA’s ability to bring out the light edge that’s ever-present in dear izuki’s voice!! nojima’s voice is strong and clear throughout, never faltering as he rattles off pun after pun in time with the music. really perfect for izuki and his love of dajare!

next we have tatta hitotsu no hibi which you can listen to here and. oh. this song really hits you in the meow meow after the playful 2010s boy band sound of kitakore. GOD it just says so much about the kind of person izuki is???

Betsu ni fukan shitai wake ja nai sa / yoyuu mo nai Onaji kurai tomadou kedo / Aah~ (English: It’s not that I want a bird’s-eye view / I don’t have any time to spare But that means I might lose my way in equal measure / Aah~)

izuki’s eyes see too much, sometimes. but if he didn’t have them, he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the rest - even with how much he practices - and that HURTS. 

Hagayusa ha tokidoki / mawari mo makikonde Atarashii chikara wo umidasu (English: There were times I got everyone else caught up in my impatience As I tried to invent new strength in myself)

he’s constantly trying to find something, anything, just to stay on the others’ level. and sometimes he pushes too hard and goes too far but... to him, in the end, all that matters is flying to the top with seirin. he doesn’t want to be a burden - in izuki’s eyes, to be a burden to seirin is the worst imaginable thing.

Itsuka nanimokamo ga omoidebanashi ni natte Natsukashii oretachi ga iru ne Ureshikatta koto bakari ja naku tatte Hoka ni ha kangaerarenai / tatta hitotsu no hibi datta Sou omoeru ki ga suru / ima no zutto mirai de (English: Someday, all of this will be nothing but memories And there we’ll be, fondly reminiscing about them They might not all be happy memories But I can’t imagine them any other way / those irreplaceable days I have a feeling that’s what I’ll think, someday way off in the future)  

this. just... the sheer fucking wisdom of this...??? keep in mind this kid is literally 17. but these lines so highlight the aspects of izuki’s personality that i love most - his unerring resilience and his ability to look towards the future without wanting to be stuck in the past or present - something i struggle a LOT with. izuki’s always got his head raised, never down, and that’s gorgeous.

tatta hitotsu is very different from kitakore in terms of sound, tempo and range. it’s sung at a lower, softer tone, and is much slower. the background music, while itself soothing and beautiful, truly only serves to accentuate the VA’s voice as he guides you through izuki’s character. the song is smooth, and its more sober tone is perfect for the wisdom izuki’s dropping! nojima’s voice is low but firm; he effortlessly dances across every note, stringing together something that’s heartfelt and gorgeous. the lower pitch really brings out what izuki’s like when he gets serious - calm, but firm and unwavering.

last but not least, challenger spirit (the hyuuizu duet), which you can listen to here!! i love this song so much because tbh it reminds me of everything i love about hyuuizu. 

Dual: Oretachi ha chousensha datte / nando demo omoishirou Sonotabi tsuyoku natte kita kara (English: We are the challengers / Let’s never forget that Remembering that fact has helped us grow stronger)

both of them are always pushing each other. they remind each other what it is that they’ve come this far. they have a unique connection, and don’t need to say half the things that others would have to, in order to understand each other!

H: Kuyashisa nara norikoeta / senpai no iji darou I: Shimeshita ijou ni kurai tsuite kureta yo na (English: H: Our regrets? We’ve overcome them / That’s our will as senpai I: They’ve exceeded our expectations and risen to the challenge)

Yume mitaku tookatta yo na Demo naze ka shinjirareta n da Kono chiimu de miru mirai wo Okujou de chikatta mirai wo (English: Dual: Just like a dream, it seemed so distant But somehow, we could believe In the future we see with this team In the future we swore on the roof)

here we see how they both are consistently on the same wavelength. that’s why that final pass happened so perfectly - because it was hyuuga, who izuki had known for so long, loved for so long (read that however you want). because it was hyuuga, and their effortless chemistry made it possible. perhaps i’m overreaching, but... i love them so much.

coming to the song itself - it has a strong beat, but also melodic. like the perfect blend of kitakore and tatta hitotsu! the drum work in the background is truly fantastic. re: the singing, the gentleness within hosoya’s voice jumps out here, whereas nojima dominates the duet. nojima’s voice comes out firmer and stronger, and hosoya is more melodic and goes with the flow. i think their voices blend beautifully - the juxtaposition of izuki’s clear, powerful voice with hyuuga’s gentler, smoother one is just perfect! it also embodies their friendship: though hyuuga seems to be the overpowering presence, they share equal parts, and there are areas where izuki takes charge as seen in this song.

(okay maybe i’m reading too much into it but can you blame me i love them)

and with that we come to the end of this little rant!! hope it made sense haha

[mikumanogi-blog]

2017-03-05 “Stagnation” Kubo Shiori Blog #7

Is there anybody who thought “today is Kubo’s blog day?”!

It’s Shiori’s blog~ (I didn’t make you wait did I…)

I thought I would try changing up my usual introduction.

 Hello everyone, Thank you for work hard again today. I’m Nogizaka46 3rd generation member Kubo Shiori.

My hair is curled.

The other day something fortunate happened.

When the makeup artist was finished hair spraying my hair the can (big size) was empty. The last person that giant can of hair spray was used on was… me. Isn’t that lucky? It rarely happens (‘._.`)

Hehehe

 First off, I want to look back at what has happened recently. Thank you so much for the 5th Year Anniversary Birthday Live.

Hito ha naze hashiru no ka?

Tsuyogaru tsubomi,

Hane Kioku,

Harujion ga suku koro,

Shiori kumo ni note,

Hause!

The 3rd generation members all stood on that stage while considering the significance behind why we were given these songs to perform.

The emotions and the scenery I had from that stage is something I will never forget for as long as I live. More than anything, seeing all the 3rd generation member towels, pen light colors surprised me...I was overjoyed. I’m a very fortunate person. Thank you.

We also did a recording for the 3rd generation song 「sanbanme no kaze」off the 17th single. Surprise…and joyfulness… (You’re probably thinking that those are the only two emotions I have, I do have a lot of other ones…) At any rate this is something I’m thankful for. The wonderful lyrics and melody, this song will forever by important to me.

I was also nervous because this was my first time doing a PV shoot, but I thought that each shoot was done with care. I received the help of many people and as my first ever shoot I was able to make it an extremely meaningful experience. Thank you very much. I want to see all my fans again. Please wait for me.  (TL note: I am assuming this is for the individual PV’s and not the music video PV)

And now… Q&A time!!!

Because I wasn’t able to do a Q&A on my previous blog I will also be answering questions asked for that blog (‘._.`)

·         Which do you like more sweet or spicy?

I like food. Recently I’ve been enjoying sweet foods!

·         Are you good or bad at physical exercise?

You probably thought I was bad at physical exercise didn’t youuu~ but that not true at all! I’m average. This year on my first sports test I was awarded an A rank!

·         Do you cook? What food is your specialty?

I may look like I do and I doo~ It makes me happy to hear my family say “delicious” after they finish eating my food.

My specialty food is…it’s hard to say, when I was younger it used to be omurice (‘._.`)

Currently my specialty is probably a type of sweet… I’m always making sweets.

·         In your middle school club, what was the toughest club activity?

Most likely the stairway dash (‘._.`) I was always sore the next day. After that was the zoo warm up (‘._.`) Duck, Bear, Seal, crocodile, , , nostalgic memories (‘._.`)

·         What are some events made a lasting impression for you from Nogizaka under construction?

There are a lot of events but, Hori Miona’s「ikimana onna」line from her version of Wakatsuki Yumi’s Hashi kun was funny! (TL note: you can find an ENG sub version on YouTube).

Speaking of Miona san, at the concert she came to talk with me. She also put up a picture of me on her blog…thank you so much. Yamazaki Rena also posted one on her blog. Thank you very much (‘._.`)

(TL Note: Kubo and Rennachi & Kubo and Miona)

Honestly, I feel shy when meeting new people, when the senior members came to talk to me, I got tongue tied. I feel guilty… I wonder if that’s why people may think things like “Kubo is hard to approach isn’t she” I’ll continue to reflect upon my weakness from the shadows.

I honestly couldn’t speak. I also have a quiet voice… Ever since I was born I’ve been a lost cause…Despite my flaws the senior members are still nice to me. I want to talk more with the senior members about various things but because of my personality it’s probably won’t be enjoyable for them…My personality is something I need to change (‘._.`)

·         I burned myself…

Are you alright!?!? Please make sure to treat it properly so it doesn’t leave a scar (‘._.`) Pain, pain go away~ While I was saying that I um… also burned myself (‘._.`) I was half asleep and I…burned my neck with a hair iron… out of all the places it could’ve been why in such an obvious spot…I will reflect upon this mistake.

·         Are there times where you are picky or obsessed about your fashion?

Umm… well, I wear what I like without fussing over the brand. Recently I’ve been liking unique clothing~ Heading into spring I’ve been buying yellow and pink colored clothes. Renka told me “You’ve become more stylish lately” I’ve decided I want to wear more and more different types of western style clothing. I’ll do my best!

·         Can you see the towels and penlights from the stage?

Of course I can see them! Every time I spot one it makes me happy. I have some good news! Because my eyesight has gotten worse my contact lens strength has gone up, this means that I can spot everyone even easier than before! Allllright, from one end to the other I’ll find you all!

·         Show me a picture of you with twin tails!

Sure, here you go!

I knew it was no gooood!

Oh no, my hair is covered by my hood and the picture is bluury isn’t it~

…I’m sorry. Self-reflection. Self-reflection.

 ·         Why were you crying together with Nakada Kana san in the dressing room?

On a silent Friday, my name was brought up by Nakada Kana san. Thank you very much (‘._.`)

First of all, she did not make me cry!!! There is a reason for why I was crying… The first time we started practicing for Principle was a time where I had anxiety over how things would turn out going forward. Then Kana san came and talked with me… we talked a lot about her personal stories from her Principle performance and the future. The details are already….. I’m crying. I wonder if I can become stronger…Can I really keep at it…What should I do…. These are the insecurities I showed in front of my amazing superior. (‘._.`) I am extremely grateful to Kana san (‘._.`) Thank you very much.

 ·         Are you someone that eats a lot?

Yes I am! One of my favorite phrases is, I want to eat____. Just the other day, for lunch, I ate bread, rice and beef stew. For dinner I ate 30 gyozas. After that I had waffles and strawberry daifuku. Oh I also had ice cream. I have a bottomless stomach. (from the title of my blog two blogs ago ‘There is no limit’)

·         Do you like bread?

I do!!!! For a while I was addicted to bread crusts, and I ate them plain. I would eat them while waiting for practice to start!

 ·         What is something you’ve been addicted to lately?

Yogurt with soy flour on top!!! I’ve been way too addicted this pairing. I could put roasted soybean flour on anything.

 ·         Favorite ice cream flavor?

Matcha!! After that is Soy flour!! Eastern style ice cream flavors are ◎ but as expected I can’t choose between them (‘._.`)

For this blog I am going to end the Q&A here!!! I’ll being doing it again in the future!

 What been going on recently? Speaking of which, I’m going to start with some of my worries. My shyness has gone too far, so far that I’ve had troubles taking pictures with other members. However, I know that a lot of fans are waiting and saying “post pictures with the other members!”… For my fans I plucked up the courage and I took my first ever three-person selfie since joining Nogizaka46.

This should be a commemorative picture. Miichan, ririan, Tsuki Taro san. Thank you so much. I hope we continue to get along. 

(TL note: I’m not sure what 月太郎 (tsuki taro) means. After some research I found that 太郎月(taro dzuki) mean first moon of the new year, so she might just be calling herself a newbie).

Next, in Manatsu san’s blog, she was asked about which member she would want to be her little sister… In her answer she wrote about me…Thank you so much, Manatsu san is so kind. On the day of the 5th Year Anniversary Birthday Live I apologized to Manatsu saying “I’m really sorry for doing ‘zukkyun’ in Girl’s Rule during Principle” and Manatsu san said “no no, it’s completely fine! If anything, I’m glad that you did! Thank you so much!” Manatsu san is so kind isn’t she (‘._.`) Thank you so much for being nice to someone like me.

Guess what, guess what, Because I I was completely sold out for the handshake event another time slot has been added. Thank you very much! I am very, very, very, VERY happy… For everyone that will come see me I’ll make sure to give you a good time.

“I’ll never be able to forget this! I want to go again! I’m cheering for you!” I’ll do my best to give you these kinds of feelings. More than anything let’s enjoy ourselves. I’m really excited to talk to everyone! I wonder if I’ll see the people I met at the meet and greet again? I’ll be waiting for you!!

 Today, for the first time in a while something happy and enjoyable happened. I was also able to make unforgettable memories.

 There’s so much I want to say but this blog has already gone on for so long… I have been told before that I really like photography and I really do. That’s why when everyone gets a hold of the new magazine I’m in I hope to bring enough interest for them to say “wow who is this girl?” I’m making sure to not slack off in order to be the kind of person that stands out in a crowd.  

Just because you work hard doesn’t mean everything is going to turn out the way you want it to, but if you don’t put in the work then it definitely won’t.

I don’t want to be someone who is all talk and no action. I want to be someone that even though they say big things they can make them into reality. Yet even though I say that I don’t have enough confidence to talk about my own dreams. I’m a coward. I will change. I will change even more.

 In the last blog I received a lot of comments giving me advice and so I based my writing for this blog on that. The opinions that I saw most in the comments were “don’t be so stiff! Relax a bit!” Thank you very much. That’s why I decided to try and make a more relaaaaxed blog this time. What do you think?

Finally one last question from the comments!

·         Out of all the 3rd generation members, which member pretends to remember something the fastest?

That person is Tamami! Wow! Tomorrow is Tamami’s blog! Make sure to give it a read!!!

Kubo will write again.

(In Minachan’s blog I was temporarily recruited for a group called Nabepa (Nabe party). It doesn’t look like we can meet up often… Maybe we should try recruiting. What do you think would be good? The members are Tamami, Minachan and Ayati, and me.)

(TL Note: Minachan is Umezawa Minami)

Kubo Shiori

https://blog.nogizaka46.com/third/2017/03/037204.php

(TL note: trying to find a good translation for a blog title was difficult, the word used in japanese is 渋滞 which can mean either ‘congestion’ ‘delay’ or ‘stagnation’, I decided to go with stagnation because after reading this blog I got the impression that she feels like her growth as a person has become a little stagnant) 

[yridenergyridenergy]

Dir en grey - Otaru GoldStone 09/28/2019 live report

1. Zetsuentai

2. Aka

3. Downfall

4. Devote My Life

5. Rubbish Heap

6. Merciless Cult

7. Keigaku no yoku

8. Celebrate Empty Howls

9. Ningen wo Kaburu

10. Keibetsu to hajimari

11. Values of Madness

12. Ranunculus

13. The World of Mercy

Encore

1. Fukai

2. Followers

3. Gaika, chinmoku ga nemuru koro

4. THE DEEPER VILENESS

5. Utafumi

What a night. Otaru Gold Stone is small, we were around 500 in it but the stage was low, the sound was too loud for some instruments depending on where you were in the venue, and holy hell I thought moshpits were forbidden here in Japan. We kept getting pushed and pushing, and someone we got closer everytime, so apparently people in the centre were getting squashed out toward the sides?!

This live report will be even more Kyo-centric than usual, because I could only crane my neck and stand on my toes among that wall of fans to concentrate on one member. But Toshiya seemed stern at first but as the show progressed, he came foth and enjoyed the crowd, even though he never fully cracked a smile. He encouragedthe audience though and appeared to approve of our reactions in general. He was just as entranced with his bass, turning his head upward during Ranunculus. As for Die, his vest really matches Kaoru's custom guitar. His long hair kept blowing in the wind and he would flip it occasionally. In one of the first few songs, he was staring at his side of the crowd with a grave expression but raised his chin a couple of times as if to say: "Oh yeah? That's it?" Kaoru I think remained very serious the whole time except that, at the end, he stayed the longest and really enjoyed the night. Shinya, all I could notice was that he rumbled away like there was no tomorrow at his heavy drums during The World of Mercy, he was in his own universe.

Kyo has a full pectorals tattoo! I doubt it is completely new, but it was definitely news to me. I have no idea what it is, it looked like the marks on a leopard's fur at first but it looks more complex, almost as if it's supposed to be the shadows of the skeleton inside his chest? And on his right side of his neck, it really looks like the drawing from Junji Ito, with the conjoined heads - the hair of a woman stretching toward something in the back. Just below his chin, it looked like a bunch of vertical lines only. He is going full on yakuza for sure.

He came on stage wearing a matching suit: both top and bottom were black with sparse big white feathers. The vest looked like it had a flap, like a short cape behind the neck, because at some point he crouched to give a growl or something and a piece of fabric came to cover his should, but it could not possible have been the lower ends of the vest itself... The dress shirt he had underneath was classic black, and he had a black tie. After three songs or so, he loosened it and also undid the first couple of buttons at the top. Near the end of the main setlist, more buttons had been undone and that's how we were able to see his chest, wide enough to see his nipples.

His hair! With the stripes of the feathers, the formal clothing, his styled hair and the smudged lipstick, he looked almost nazi-esque. This hairstyle is so close to the Tabula Rasa/In Situ one! I am so glad that I witnessed it in person! I guess, to describe it, it almost looks like Levi's hairstyle from Attack on Titan, but he styled the left side toward the back of his head. After sweating though, it was even more awesome and resembling!

He smoked twice or three times during the show. For the first instance, its scent came to my senses before I could see it, during the pause. He tried to do the iiiiiii high-pitched sound in Downfall (?) while having the cigarette on the corner of his mouth: that failed. Later, he was holding his cigarette with his two middle fingers, giving us the horns/fox sign he is now known for!

Aka was more dramatic than I remember it being. Kyo looped his mic cord around his neck twice and caressed it into a hanging string. I think it was during that song that he was dancing like a maniacal pantomime a lot too.

At the very beginning of Rubbish Heap, Kyo cones to the forefront of the stage next to his stand and he holds his fist up in the air for the first 'Fist!' of the song and he has that very obvious facial expression like "Come on guys, here's what I want you to do! Come on, you can do it, go!" which you would use for a child. And yet, what do the majority of the fans do? Still hands...

I cannot remember which song it was exactly, but Kyo started by hitting his forehead repetitively with the mic, and then the chest/heart, and again with the head. It might have been Ranunculus, because I remember that the sound of the hits came just before the circus-like sound and he was singing about kokoro. Doing it right before those sounds was nice, like a preclude, it made sense altogether.

Ranunculus was at least if not more intense than usual. I think that it was during it that Kyo clawed at his dress shirt's sleeve on his left arm, then brought his wrist to his mouth and actively bit it. Had his teeth been any sharper, he would have undoubtedly drawn blood.

After Ranunculus was The World of Mercy. In the transition between the two, Kyo spoke to himself, asking 'Naze?' (why) often, and he then began The World of Mercy fucking depressed, sad and desperate. The end of the song was very beautiful with the simple idea of blasting white light from behind the stage while he chants 'The World of Mercy', it really looked more angelic.

When singing about the game of life and repeating game ('yuugi'), Kyo kept tracing a large circle with his arm fully extended, strenghtening the never-ending nature of this foolishness/challenge.

When doing the return after the break in The World of Mercy, since there are no instruments at first, he yells the 'Jou ni-' with his mic near his hip.

People don't understand the intensity of tge part after 'sekai de' yet.

By the way, the stage just has a large poster of the The Insulated World cover, with fingers on each side. No movies at all this time.

In Keigaku no yoku, Kyo definitely changed that last sentence to 'ore-', but the part he adds after sounded more like 'watashi...'. He also changed or added an 'omae no' something to one of the songs, but it wasn't to make a compliment...

In the encore, Kyo came back wearing black jeans with ripped knees and a D.E.G. shirt without sleeves. The image was identical to the sticker they are currently selling in the goods, so perhaps this design will be used for the T-shirt sold in the USA, Mexico and Europe?

Kyo is such an amazing rocker. I believe that it was during Gaika chinmoku that he did that headbang, where he needs to lean his left hand on his thigh because of how heavy it gets, you know? Ugh. Really the total opposite of sukekiyo's feminine songs. He's so good all around.

As always I am probably forgetting stuff. I will try to draw some of my memories though.

[eng-hypnosismic]

[TL]  JPN/ROM/ENG T.D.D LEGEND

T.D.D LEGEND by The Dirty Dawg Music: Kohei by SIMONSAYZ and R・O・N Lyrics: Kohei by SIMONSAYZ Arrangement: R・O・N

Yo Come on!

The Dirty Dawg is in da house, Yo! Give it up for MC Brothers

The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Hey! The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Ho!

最高最上級のチャンピオン Saikou saijoukyuu no chanpion The greatest, best of the best champions

始めようか今夜のFunky lesson one Hajime you ka konya no Funky lesson one Let’s get started, tonight’s Funky lesson one

M-I-C容赦なくぶっ放すWord M-I-C youshanaku buppanasu Word M-I-C One word to kill them all

吠えてみせろ!この現状に！ Hoete misero! Kono genjou ni! Let me hear you bark! As you are!

適当にかませよHey show me! Tekitou ni kamase yo Hey show me! Now’s the time to bite, Hey show me!

易々引き下がってくれるなBoy Yasuyasu hikisagattekureruna Boy Don’t back down so easily, Boy

ステージ立つなら覚悟みせなオイ！ Suteeji tatsu nara kakugo mise na oi! If you’re gonna stand on the stage, show me your resolve, oi!

"知らねぇ"とか言わせないぜ “Shiranee” to ka iwasenai ze You can’t say things like “I dunno”

The Dirty Dawg

いくぞ！Hardcore! Ikuzo! Hardcore! Let’s go! Hardcore!

Ha? 準備いいか？ Ha? Junbi ii ka? Ha? You ready?

完璧だ！聞きな！誰にもの言ってんだ？ Kanpeki da! Kikina! Dare ni mo no ittenda? Perfect! Listen up! Who do you think you’re talking to?

ウォーミングアップできてるぜこの拳は Woomingu appu dekiteru ze kono kobushi wa I’m warming up my fist

俺の前に立つならタイマンだ Ore no mae ni tatsu nara taimanda If you stand in front of me, we’re going one-on-one

度胸のある��つYeah快感だ! Dokyou no aru yatsu Yeah kaikan da! Guys who got the guts, Yeah, feels good!

暴言？いやNo joking! Bougen? Iya No joking! All bark? Nah, no joking!

コーキングで埋めてやっから今すぐ置いてけその残金 Kookingu de umete yakkara ima sugu oiteke sono zankin I’ll plug it up with caulking unless yoou hurry up and put your money where your mouth is [1]

帰ってきたぜThe Dirty Dawg from underground Kaette kita ze The Dirty Dawg from underground Coming up, The Dirty Dawg from underground

テッペン取るからEverybody jump around!! Teppen toru kara Everybody jump around!! We’re headed to the top, Everybody jump around

The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Hey! The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Ho!

T.D.D a.k.a レジェンド! T.D.D a.k.a rejendo! T.D.D a.k.a Legend!

手をあげな！声あげな！ Te wo agena! Koe agena! Put your hands up! Get your voices up!

The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Hey! The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Ho!

最高最上級のチャンピオン Saikou saijoukyuu no chanpion The greatest, best of the best champions

準備いいかい？Don’t Freak Out! Junbii ii kai? Don’t Freak Out! Are you ready? Don’t Freak Out!

Yeah, yeah

C’mon! 騒げpeople C'mon! Sawage people C'mon! Make some noise, people

最高最上級のチャンピオン Saikou saijoukyuu no chanpion The greatest, best of the best champions

行くぞ！ Ikuzo! Let's go!

“勝者”とは裏腹に“負傷者” “Shousha” to wa urahara ni “fushousha” There are the “victors,” and then, the “injured”

なぜ勝てない戦するチャレンジャー？ Naze katenai ikusa suru charenjaa? Why fight a war you can’t win, challenger?

“慈悲”“熱い意思”持った“医師” “Jihi” “atsui ishi” motta “ishi” A “doctor” of “mercy” and “ardent intention”

そう私がレアなThe Dirty Dawg因子 Sou watashi ga reana The Dirty Dawg inshi Yes, I am the rare factor of The Dirty Dawg

ノリが悪いとか言わせない Nori ga warui to ka iwasenai Say not things like “I won’t be swayed”

自分は自分の世界あるんでね Jibun wa jibun no sekai arun de ne You are in your own world

無駄に吠えることはそうしたくない Muda ni hoeru koto wa soushitakunai I’d rather not waste my breath

何があっても Soただ Go my way Nani ga atte mo So tada Go my way Whatever may come, so I’ll simply go my way

いやいや盛り上がりにマジ欠けてない？ Iya iya moriagari ni maji kaketenai? No, no, you’re seriously not pumped?

やる気ないならそのマイク渡してくれない？ Yaruki nai nara sono maiku watashitekurenai? If you’re not feeling it, then hand over that mic, won’t you?

難しいことは後にして Muzukashii koto wa ato ni shite Do the hard stuff later

So楽しもう Let it go Party people さわげ So tanoshi mou Let it go Party people sawage So let’s have fun! Let it go! Party people make some noise!

easy R! easy R! Call my nameお姉さんら easy R! easy R! Call my name onee-sanra easy R! easy R! Call my name, Onee-sans!

ピンク色のそのワンポイントファッションが Pinku iro no sono wan pointo fasshon ga That all-pink fashion is

本当いいね！いいね！かわいーね！ Honto ii ne! Ii ne! Kawaii ne! Really good! So good! So cute!

僕のLove lyric届けたいね！ Boku no Love lyric todoketai ne! I hope my love lyrics reach you!

The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Hey! The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Ho!

T.D.D a.k.a レジェンド! T.D.D a.k.a rejendo! T.D.D a.k.a Legend!

手をあげな！声あげな！ Te wo agena! Koe agena! Put your hands up! Get your voices up!

The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Hey! The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Ho!

最高最上級のチャンピオン Saikou saijoukyuu no chanpion The greatest, best of the best champions

準備いいかい？Don’t Freak Out! Junbii ii kai? Don’t Freak Out! Are you ready? Don’t Freak Out!

Yeah Boy...

C'monさわげ! People (Hey Ho) C'mon sawage! People (Hey Ho) C'mon, make some noise, people! (Hey Ho)

最高最上級のチャンピオン Saikou saijoukyuu no chanpion The greatest, best of the best champions

準備いいかい？(Hey) Don’t Freak Out! (Ho) Junbii ii kai? (Hey) Don’t Freak Out! (Ho) Are you ready? (Hey) Don’t Freak Out! (Ho)

Uh huh That's right, that's right Word up Yo!

ダレの番だ Dare no ban da? Whose turn is it?

お前の番だ？ Omae no ban da? I’nt it yours?

いや、ちがうって Iya, chigautte Nah, can’t be!

みんなの番だ Minna no ban da It’s everyone’s turn.

おめーらの番だ C’mon 1 2 3… Here we go Omeera no ban da C’mon 1 2 3… Here we go It’s you guys’ turn. C’mon, 1, 2, 3... Here we go

Everybody say T.D.D！(T.D.D!)

Yo! 手をあげな空に(空に) Yo! Te wo agena sora ni (sora ni) Yo! Put your hands up to the sky (To the sky)

Everybody say T.D.D！(T.D.D!)

Yo! Hip Hop感じろ共に(Once again) Yo! Hip Hop kanjiro tomo ni (Once again) Yo! Feel the hip hop together (Once again)

Everybody say T.D.D！(T.D.D!)

ついてきな僕らに(俺らに) Tsuitekina bokura ni (orera ni) Come along with us (With us)

Everybody say T.D.D！(T.D.D!)

皆の愛刻もう心に(Hey Ho) Mina no ai kiza mou kokoro ni (Hey Ho) We’ll carve love into everyone’s hearts (Hey Ho)

(Ladies and gentlemen, here comes our superhero of this new era!)

そろそろ本気出しちゃうけど大丈夫？ Sorosoro honki dashichau kedo daijoubu? I’mma go all out, is that okay?

おさわがせしますよ Osawagase shimasu yo Apologies for the interference.

マジで来ねと後悔するぞ Maji de kone to koukai suru zo Seriously, you’ll regret it if you don’t come.

俺らDirty Dawgいっちょかますぜ！ Orera Dirty Dawg iccho kamasuze! We’re The Dirty Dawg. Come at us!

The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Hey! The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Ho!

T.D.D a.k.a レジェンド! T.D.D a.k.a rejendo! T.D.D a.k.a Legend!

手をあげな！声あげな！ Te wo agena! Koe agena! Put your hands up! Get your voices up!

The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Hey! The Dirty Dawg ain’t nothing afraid of, Ho!

最高最上級のチャンピオン Saikou saijoukyuu no chanpion The greatest, best of the best champions

準備いいかい？Don’t Freak Out! Junbii ii kai? Don’t Freak Out! Are you ready? Don’t Freak Out!

「喰うか喰われるか」この新時代！ “Kuu ka kuwareru ka” kono shinjidai! This is the era of “eat or be eaten!”

決して顧みることはできない！ Keshite kaerimiru koto wa dekinai! You can’t ever look back!

Soヒプノシスマイク　究極の Vibe So hipunoshisumaiku kyuukyoku no Vibe So Hypnosis Mic, the ultimate Vibe

レッドゾーンまで響かせろ！(Hey) Reddozoon made hibikasero! (Hey) Resound ‘til the red zone! (Hey)

「百戦錬磨 4MC! “Hyakusenrenma 4MC! “The veteran 4MC!

行く手塞げば容赦なし！」 Yukute fusageba yousha nashi!” If you’re in the way, you’ll get no mercy!”

そう覚悟はいいかい？ついてこれるかな？ Sou kakugo ii kai? Tsuite koreru kana? Alright, have you made up your mind? Can you follow us?

脳内Hardcoreテッペン取るぜ(Hey) Nounai Hardcore teppen toru ze (Hey) A hardcore mind, we’re taking the top

「喰うか喰われるか」この新時代！ “Kuu ka kuwareru ka” kono shinjidai! This is the era of “eat or be eaten!”

SoヒプノシスマイクおまえらのVibe So hipunoshisumaiku omaera no Vibe So Hypnosis Mic, with you guys' Vibe

ここまでもっと届かせろ！(Hey) Koko made motto tokokasero! (Hey) Bring more of that here! (Hey)

「百戦錬磨 4MC! “Hyakusenrenma 4MC! “The veteran 4MC!

行く手塞げば容赦なし！」 Yukute fusageba yousha nashi!” If you’re in the way, you’ll get no mercy!”

そう覚悟はいいかい？ついてこれるかな？ Sou kakugo ii kai? Tsuite koreru kana? Alright, have you made up your mind? Can you follow us?

いくぜみんな声あげろ！(Hey) Ikuze minna koe agero! (Hey) Let’s go, everybody, raise your voices! (Hey)

(It's the meeting of the new society)

Aw, yeah

------------

translation notes. [1] Put your money where your mouth is. Samatoki works for a loan shark, thus this line gets a double meaning!

[nico-no-talk]

Psychological Analysis #1.3

Mikami Ryouta

I’ll admit it, Mikami’s analysis will get a bit heavy cause it involves his issue with women and he has every right to be this way and I will go ahead and say this that this boy needs to seek therapy for this issue in some way or form because it is gonna have to go into the world and deal with women. Let’s start.

Mikami is a drop-dead gorgeous, hottie who hates women with a passion.

He is a very skilled fighter and does struggle in school with his grades and such, possible due to how he gained his extreme hatred of women. If you piss him off enough, he will react violently and be raised in a dojo so that’s where he got his skills. Like Shiro, nothing is said much about his interest and likes either, other than his main dislike/hatred: women. The author has already declared him as a gynophobe which means fear of women. 

Diagnosis Part 1

I’m going to be splitting into 2 parts for a bit. It’s already canon that Mikami is afraid of women, but none from his family (thank god). But I am going to go ahead and rip the bandaid off and say he might have some variation of PTSD (will discuss the possible development of it in background). During the Cafe Competition Arc,

Mina, Shiro, and Mikami were hired to be bodyguards for the cafe they went to in chapter 2. After they caught the culprit, the guy started to act like someone from Mikami’s past, which resulted in a violent reaction from Mikami himself and attacked the stalker.

This shows that obsessive behavior for someone else is one of Mikami’s triggers and causes him to want to fight the demons away. The other obvious trigger for him is women, especially ones who deem him attractive which causes him to verbally abuse them in order to get them away from him.

As I said before, Shiro and Mikami’s issues with women are similar BUT Mikami is a lot more severe than Shiro’s and a lot more violent. They are not one in the same, but the same variation of anxiety towards them, but the levels differ greatly. 

Canon Background (I will not provide photos in this section since this one is a good chunk of Mikami and it’ll only be longer if I do add photos to this one)

Shiro grew up with 3 older sisters and one younger sister, making him the only son in his family.

During his middle school days, not hating women, a lot of the guys were jealous of his face and the girls loved him. His best friend, Taki, fell in love at first sight of a girl from another school, Tsukishima. While Taki was asking her on a date, Mikami and her eyes met. On the day of the date, she left Taki after 10 minutes and went straight to Mikami’s house, saying how it should’ve been just them two but concluded that he was just shy, then left. Mikami was left wondering how she knew where he lived. Next day after school, Tsukishima was waiting there and ran to Mikami first, breaking Taki’s heart even more. Soon, almost every single day, Tsukishima had waited for Mikami to hang out and ignore Taki completely. Soon, Taki heard a rumor that Mikami and Tsukishima are dating and just decided to cancel with him last minute. Mikami started to dwell on the fact that Taki has been avoiding him lately and remembering the day the two became best friends. The memory trip ended by Tsukishima putting her number in Mikami’s phone, saying it’s weird that she doesn’t have his number yet despite being his girlfriend. Mikami rejects this delusion of hers and she just laughed, saying that he’s teasing her. He keeps rejecting her delusions and confesses on Taki’s behalf that the one interested in her is Taki, not him. She straight up insults Taki and says that Mikami does love her and says that Mikami used Taki to be with her, saying how he only belongs to her. He pushes her away and threatens her due to the fact that she insulted Taki. The next day, everyone already was giving him the cold shoulder and soon ran off from the school, running into Tsukishima’s friends, telling him to go to hell. He kept running then ran into Tsukishima herself. Her plan is that since she’s unable to have him, she decided that it’s best that he’s hated by everyone. She starts faking that she’s in pain, and in came Taki. Mikami tried to explain what's going on to him, but Taki won’t listen to reason so Mikami just ran away, wallowing in pain from being disowned as Taki’s friend and that some stranger ruined his life, simply because he wasn’t interested in her. 

Diagnosis Part 2

Time to dive more into this. I’m going to be continuing Mikami’s possible PTSD but this time with the now explained backstory of his. During the time we were given this story, Mikami had been kidnapped by an old friend of Tsukishima’s who believes that if she brings Mikami back, then her and Tsukishima will be able to be friends again.

I would like to point out that this friend started to look like Tsukishima, with the difference that this new person has freckles instead.

Mikami fully believed that Tsukishima appeared before him and almost had a panic attack, but was told by ‘her’ that she promised to leave him alone but then got tazed in the process by this girl.

I believed that girls with long black hair in twintails are one of his triggers, but that doesn’t seem to be the case since two of his sister’s has long black hair,

with the youngest keeping them in twintails,

so he might’ve been able to get over it thanks to his sisters. He most definitely kept his distance from everyone when he moved to his current school to get away from his hometown and kept his distance away from the other boys, even from Shiro and Mina at the start. But when Shiro stood up for him, admitting that he struggles talking to women,

Mikami must’ve started to grow a dependence on Shiro cause he kind of sees his old self in him: a middle school boy who’s somewhat shy around girls. The fact is that Mikami’s violent tendencies come from women who start to show attraction from him, he immediately starts being rude and threatens them to get away from him. He has grown to fear women because of Tsukishima. Tsukishima ruined a single life simply because he rejected her. This part shows how men aren’t the only stalkers out there who can’t take no for an answer, there are women as well who are just as bad as men. Mikami must’ve grown depressed during this time as well since he also lost his closest friend in the process, but possibly was able to recover thanks to his sisters, who all deeply cared about him, and probably grew even more care for him since what happened.

Mikami’s Relationships

It’s pretty obvious that Mikami is a major tsundere 

and cares a lot about his friends. As I already explained, he deeply cares about Shiro the most and just cares about Mina as much, but Mikami thinks that a lot of Mina’s ideas are stupid and shouldn’t be brought to life but if Shiro gives a vaild point, Mikami will agree to do it.

I kind of already explained his relationship with the others so this part is kinda pointless other than saying that he is a tsundere.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, I am in no way certified to give these diagnoses, after all, I’m just a guy on the web who enjoys over-analyzing everything (not). Dadadadan was one of those manga that I read for the chemistry between all of the characters. (another example being Naze Da Naitou aka Why Naitou pls give me volume 3 translations) My top favorite being Mina and Shiro has my least favorite but all 3 of them are still good boys and deserve the world! The series ended with another dilemma involving a woman, so it ended in classic Dadadadan fashion.

Do I believe my diagnoses are correct? No way in hell, but I do believe that some characters are coded to fit a certain role. (i.e shiro being the feminie-appearing shy one, mina being the otaku-2-D-only one, and mikami being the hot-head hot guy who hates women) But this series took those description of them and answered why they became this way, but only 2 of which we got a proper explanation for, while Mina’s is just he isn’t interested in anything else but 2-D. Thank you for reading this really long post! I ended writing much longer than I planned to! Sweet Dreams!

Part 1

Part 2

[starrattlerofprydain]

If anyone is interested, my fellow friend dagga19 from Deviant Art managed to translate some of Roxas’s story from the Character Files. Here’s what she has so far:

Since I haven't seen anyone translate Roxas's story from the KH Character Files book, I thought the fandom might appreciate my help.

Note: I am French, and neither English nor Japanese are my mother tongue, but I've played the Japanese version of the KH games^^ I'll do my best to come up with the most accurate translation. :)

Also, I don't have the book, I just translated from the photos @tuskactone kindly shared with us on Twitter. But there are some blurry parts I can't read , so I will only translate the sentences I can properly read, to avoid another "love/hair" confusion lol.

I will also give you the romaji (phonetic) versions, for those who would like to know how things are said exactly in Japanese. :)

The sentences between [ ] are quotes from the game. And XX= Blurry kanjis I can't read. I don't want to give an approximate translation so I'll honestly admit when I can't read a part. Here we go:

ROXAS STORY: I remember you. (Part 1)

Ore no natsu yasumi wa ato 7 kan de owaru.

[Kondou no kyuuka, 3 nin de umi ni ikanai ka ?]

Dare ka ni sou iwareta kioku wa atta.

3nin... 3nin te ittai dare nandarou. Ore wa subete wo wasureteita. Sora no kao ni tatta toki, omoidashitanda.

Ore wa zenbu omoidashita to omoteta. Demo hontou wa omoi dasete nakatanda ... sugoku daiji na koto wo.

TR: Only 7 days and then my summer vacation is over.

" On our next day off, why don't the three of us go to the beach?"

I remember being told that by someone. The 3 of us ... Who are the "3" ? . I had forgotten everything. When I faced Sora, I remembered that.

I thought I had remembered eveything. But actually, there was "something really important" I didn't remember.

(Note: The words "sugoku daiji na koto " are exactly those he says in Xion's death scene.)

(The next part is full of kanjis I can't read , but Roxas basically explains that at the time when he first joined the Organization, there were many things he didn't understand, and that he had just learned from Axel what summer vacation meant. He also explains how he and Axel went after every mission on the top of the Clocktower to eat Sea Salt Ice creams together, and that he saw Hayner and the others.)

[Ima no kodomo tachi wa natsuyasumi...iya, natsuyasumi wa mo choi saki ka]

[Natsuyasumi ? Nanda sore ?]

[30 nichi kurai kyuuka ga tsuzuku, ningen no otanoshimi]

TR: " The kids here are on summer vacation, nah, summer vacation comes a bit later "

"Summer vacation? What's that?"

"It's the humans ' s enjoyment, a break/vacation that lasts 30 days."

Kou iu koto wo hanasu toki, Axel ni wa ningen datta koro no kioku ga atte, ore ni wa sono kioku ga zenzen nai no ga fushigi te, taihen datta.

TR: When he talked about those things, Axel had his memories of when he was a human. I didn't have any of those memories , it was strange, and dreadful.

[Ma hotondo wa tomodachi to asonde owaru na. tomodachi to isshou ni asobu no wa tanoshii, Nobody ni natte kara wasureteta na, sonna no]

Axel ni wa, ningen datta koro, tomodachi ga ita te koto nandarou? Ore no tomodachi wa Axel dake datta to ore wa omoteita, demo ore wa omoi dashitanda.

TR: " Well, just by the time you play with your friends, it's over. Playing with friends is fun. I had forgotten that since I've become a Nobody."

That means when Axel was a human, he had friends, right? My only friend was Axel, or so I thought, but I remembered.

Ano toki, ore wa Kikan wo nukeru tsumori datta

[Kimeta no ka?]

Axel no XX kake ni mo ore wa ashi wo tomenakatta. Axel no koto mo shinjirarenakunatte ita kara da.

[Naze Keyblade ga ore wo eranda no ka, sore wo shiritainda]

[Kikan ni hamukau no ka yo !? Kikan wo teki ni mawashitara iki nokorenai zo!]

TR: At that time, I wanted to leave the Organization.

"Your mind's made up?"

I didn't stop at Axel's XX. Because I couldn't trust Axel anymore.

"Why did the Keyblade choose me? I have to know."

"You're gonna turn on the Organization? If you make them your enemies, you won't survive !"

Xnda Axel ni ore wa yoyaku ashi wo tometa. [Dare mo kanashimanai sa]

TR: I finally stopped by XX Axel.

"No one will be sad" (="No one would miss me ")

So XX te ore wa X ki Xmeru. Demo ikisaki nante nakatta. Doko ni ikeba ii no ka wakaranai mama ni ore ga tadori tsuita no wa itsumo no tokeijou da.

TR: And after I said that, I left (?) But I had no destination. Without knowing where to go, I ended up on the usual clocktower.

Soko ni yatte kita no wa, ore ga zutto wasureteita onna no ko, Xion.

[Roxas, kore ga Sora da yo.]

TR: The one who came there was the girl I had forgotten for so long... Xion.

"Roxas, this is Sora."

Part 2 coming soon! :)

[fallencomrade-a]

@xiongsi.     »     злючка.

          “  𝐃𝐎 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃?  —————  it would have been easier to work alone;  she had requested       (  DEMANDED  )  it,  but 𝓯𝓾𝓻𝔂 had  𝚘 𝚝 𝚑 𝚎 𝚛  plans.    &&    IT WAS FOOLISH,  given their HISTORY.   zofia feared 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆;      &&      what 𝕕𝕚𝕕 frighten her lied 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 within bucky barnes:        𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐑.   glazkov was  (  𝖎𝖘  )  hellbent on eliminating her;   &&  he employed HYDRA several times  ——  requesting that they send their 𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓫𝓮𝓼𝓽 to do the job.    what the 𝚁𝚄𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙰𝙽 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝚏̲𝚊̲𝚒̲𝚕̲𝚎̲𝚍̲ to realize was that HE had created someone   (  𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 THING  )   whose survival instincts were untenable    (  𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔩  );    && she would do       a n y t h i n g to ensure viability     ————————      𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒇 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒚.

𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐓;      surely,     THIS is what he 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭      ———      someone that could stare death in the eye  &&  tell it to go fuck itself.   𝐁𝐔𝐓,   𝐎𝐇   ——————   how 𝚞̲𝚗̲𝚏̲𝚘̲𝚛̲𝚝̲𝚞̲𝚗̲𝚊̲𝚝̲𝚎̲ for him:  𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐘𝐃𝐑𝐀’𝐒 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑷𝑯𝒀 𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑰𝑵 could  best her;    though he certainly did try   ——   &&   it would ALMOST be 𝚕̲𝚊̲𝚞̲𝚐̲𝚑̲𝚊̲𝚋̲𝚕̲𝚎̲ if it were not for the f a c t that he 𝓷𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝔂 succeeded.  

          𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒚𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒚𝒆    (  𝕥𝕠𝕠𝕥𝕙 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕒 𝕥𝕠𝕠𝕥𝕙  ):    it is not  𝚛 𝚎 𝚟 𝚎 𝚗 𝚐 𝚎  she seeks,    but 𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. she is not confined to her 𝚐̲𝚛̲𝚒̲𝚎̲𝚟̲𝚊̲𝚗̲𝚌̲𝚎̲𝚜̲     —     𝒘𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔;     though her 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 is wearing THIN,  “ я бы сделал больше если бы ты не всегда был в моей заднице при каждом удоб��ом случае.  ”     FIST𝖈𝖑𝖚𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 at the chest of her 𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕪;    an 𝓪𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓹𝓽  s h o v e sends him stumbling back    ————    “  wait!please.  ”           𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆;           𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 in her 𝚑̲𝚎̲𝚊̲𝚛̲𝚝̲.      it does not 𝚖̲𝚊̲𝚝̲𝚝̲𝚎̲𝚛̲ how LOUD he screams    —    𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕤:    𝙸𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝚄𝙴𝙻.      &&    if he were  SMART  …  he would keep his 𝓶𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓱 𝓼𝓱𝓾𝓽,  “  𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏. 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆.  ”  

𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖆 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖙𝖔 𝖇𝖊 𝖒𝖆𝖉𝖊 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖜𝖔;     odea is fully informed of her secrets   —————   &&    it      is  𝚍 𝚊 𝚗 𝚐 𝚎 𝚛 𝚘 𝚞 𝚜.  SHIELD knows nothing of nøkk; 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 what has been released by NATO   && not even 𝚝̲𝚑̲𝚎̲𝚒̲𝚛̲ files have on record that 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 are the 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏.          𝐈𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘; 𝓹𝓾𝓫𝓵𝓲𝓬 𝓼𝓪𝓯𝓮𝓽𝔂   &&   she CANNOT allow herself to be 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝.  truthfully,   had james not shown up when   he did, odea would be 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊 than another 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢     &&     she was 𝕊𝕆 ℂ𝕃𝕆𝕊𝔼     ——     𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒇𝒖𝒍.  &&  𝐍𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊�� 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐃𝐎𝐆 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇.  

          𝙸𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙰 𝙼𝚈𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚈 how they even found out about him  ———  it makes her 𝚠̲𝚘̲𝚗̲𝚍̲𝚎̲𝚛̲ who LED them on this trail;     𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖊 was clearly trying to oust her    &&      she 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒕 that the 𝕄𝕆ℝ𝕆ℕ in front of her would use himself as bait 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓻,             “  naze anata wa koko ni iru nodesu ka?  ”    𝖋𝖚𝖑𝖑-𝖋𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖉;  she NEVER sways eye contact   &&   she 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 to 𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚎𝚍𝚐𝚎 the  m i l i t a n t𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖 lurking over her shoulder despite how 𝒊𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 it is,  “  soreha glazkov,  kare shitte iru.  ”

                “  kare wa nani o shitte imasu ka?  ”                   “  anata ga iru koto nokku.  ”                   “  soshite seikō wa anata no nochi ni kuru SHIELD to kankei shite imasu?  ”                   “  kare wa watashi ga anata ni sorera o michibikanakattara watashinokazoku o korosu to itta.  ”                   “  otōsan ga inai jikanda to omoimasu ka?  ”  

           “  𝐍𝐎!  𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄; i won’t sa  ——  wrist twitching, 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚔; whether he spoke     up or not,   he was 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲.   glazkov is NOT one to leave 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤   &&   would have d i s p o s e d     of him the 𝚜̲𝚎̲𝚌̲𝚘̲𝚗̲𝚍̲ he stopped being of 𝒖𝒔𝒆.   at least she spared him some  𝚖 𝚎 𝚛 𝚌 𝚢;   it would have been a  𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓪 𝓵𝓸𝓽 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓮 if it were ANYONE else.  &&  though it were a split second decision,   there is no guilt       (  ONLY RELIEF  ).  gun lowered   —   at least  now,  this bought her 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 to find him before SHIELD did.

    &&  𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍;     𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘,  𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄.

                “  𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆.  ”  

    𝘋𝘖 𝘐 𝘓𝘖𝘖𝘒 𝘋𝘐𝘚𝘛𝘙𝘈𝘊𝘛𝘌𝘋 ?

     ❛   —— no.  ❜   he  responds  stiffly  from  the  shadows,  pausing  for  a  beat ...   before  taking  a  jab  of  his  own  -  one  that  he  knows  will  leave  a  deep  impression,           especially  coming  from  the  mouth  of  THE  WINTER  SOLDIER.       ❛   you  look  COMPROMISED.  ❜        a  minute  flicker  of  dark  brows,  daring  her  to  disagree  with  his  assessment.  

     THEY SHARE MANY SIMILARITIES.    that  much  is  undeniable.   man - made  WEAPONS  forced  to  do  terrible  things  in  order  to  survive  ;;  BRUTALLY  trained  &&  used  for  the  benefit  of  others.  he  does  not  know  her  entire  history,  but  he  has  obtained  enough  that  he  can  at  least  paint  a  picture.      theirs  is  a  very  common  story   ;;   not  the  first  in  history  to  be  used,  abused  and  weaponized  -  and  certainly  not  the  last.  they  are  good  at  what  they  do  and  what  they  do  is  UGLY,  but  neither  he  nor  bozák  are  the  types  to  flinch  at  what  they  once  were  or  who  they  are  now.            they  have  long  since  accepted  the  garishness  of  their  own  reflections  and  do  not  look  for  PITY  in  the  faces  or  company  of  others.  they  are  both  capable.    they  are  both  useful,  their  talents  highly  sought  after.   &&  they  are  both  very,  very  DANGEROUS.     

     the  difference  that  separate  them  however  places  them  on  two  completely  different  playing  fields.  she  runs  HOT,  as  if  birthed  from  the  magma  of  earth’s  core.   churning,  burning  lava  -  set  to  ERUPT  at  any  notice,   by  even  the  slightest  tectonic  shift.     &&  they  used  to  call  him  VOLATILE.    hydra  had  no  clue.         she  is  governed  by  her  emotions,  regardless  of  her  determination  to  appear  as  if  she  is  anything  but.    it  oozes  from  her  -  this  ignited  INSTABILITY.     anger.  impatience.  arrogance.  contention.  she  simmers  &&  boils  beneath  the  might  of  her  emotions.           ————   where  as  he  is  as  cold  as  ICE.    his  emotions  are  muted,   STAGNATED   -   d i s t a n t .      logic  bests  opinion.     caution  overtakes  curiosity.  ORDER  conquers  chaos.     bozák  may  be  efficient  and  frighteningly  talented,  but  she  is  also  sloppy  and  loud    &&    her  inability  of  self  -  restraint  makes  her  predictable.           her  entire  presence  SCREAMS.  

     THIS MISSION WAS DOOMED FROM THE VERY START   -   the  moment  she  was  assigned  to  it,  and  bucky  is  starting  to  think  that  fury  knew  it  would  end  up  just  like  this,  or  at  least  had  anticipated  that  it  might.  aggravation  rolls  through  him  like  a  storm,  chest  tightening  with  irritation.    it  lives  &&  thrives  inside  of  him,  but  the  only  visible  indication  of  its  existence  is  a  heaving,  heavy  sigh.   when  he  gives  his  debrief,  he  is  going  to  make  a  number  of  things  very  clear  to  the  director.         the  first  and  most  important :  don’t  waste  his  time  on  pointless  missions.  whatever  test  he  is  orchestrating,  barnes  wants  no  part  in  it.  he  can  play  whatever  games  he  wants,  so  long  as  they  do  not  involve  him  or  his  skills.  he  is  a  good  asset  and  a  talented  soldier,  non - existent  to  the  world  with  very  gray  morals.    he  has  very  little  to  complain  about  and  makes  very  few  demands    ;;    he  does  not  consider  himself  to  be  a  very  complicated  person,    but  he  does  not  like  his  time  or  his  energy  or  his  talents  wasted  on  things  that  do  not  concern  him.            

     the  second ?    his  opinion  of  ZOFIA  BOZÁK.     &&  boy,  does  he  have  a  lot  to  say.     the  first  and  foremost  being  that  bozák  is  the  definition  of  a  LIABILITY.          not  only  is  she  not  worth  the  effort  to  keep  on  active  duty  but  she  is  also  a  THREAT  to  every  mission.   she  is  incapable  of  following  orders,  incapable  of  listening  or  working  together  as  a  team.      she  is  sneaky,  slippery  and  self - serving  -  with  missions  of  her  own.  &&  she  is  very  obviously  hiding  something  from  them.  any  resources  granted  to  her  would  only  be  wasted  because  she  would  only  use  them  for  her  own  self   -   gain  and  not  for  the  benefit  of  the  mission.  any  mission  assigned  to  her  would  be  compromised  because  she  has  her  own  objectives  and  if  the  two  did  not  coincide,       she  would  very  clearly  secure  her  own  over  theirs.      he  would  strongly  advise  that  fury  cut  his  loses  and  move  on ...       the  only  reason  barnes  can  postulate  that  fury  keeps  this  girl  around  is  because  having  her  as  an  enemy  is  more  dangerous.           ——  but  enemies  can  be  eliminated.    &&  liabilities  should  be  removed,  without  hesitation. 

    there  is  obviously  a  piece  of  this  puzzle  he  is  missing.  something  bozák  knows  that  fury  does  not.  something  fury  knows  and  is  keeping  secret  from  everyone.  either  way,  james  is  in  the  oust  on  both  sides,  kept  in  the  dark  while  both  attempt  to  pull  &&  pluck  at  his  strings.  he  does  not  have  the  time  nor  the  patience  for  this.  he  ABHORS  mind  games  and  understandably  so.  given  his  past,  he  thought  fury  might  give  him  a  fucking  break.  maybe  this  is  the  other  man’s  idea  of  retaliation,  for  the  attempt  on  his  life.  he  does  not  want  to  jump  through  hoops.  he  wants  to  complete  his  missions.  that  should  be  enough  of  an  incentive  for  fury  to  utilize  his  talents  appropriately  and  not  waste  his  time.   he  will  make  it  clear  though,  upon  his  return.   this  is  the  first  and  last  time  he  is  to  be  paired  together  with  this  particular  agent.     THEY DO NOT MESH WELL.

     she  bites  back  at  him  with  her  vulgar  tongue,  but  the  barb  fails  to  pull  a  reaction  from  the  cold  man,  his  composure  maintained.    the  soldier  stares,  unimpressed  &&  bored  by  the  melodrama.   his  previous  assumption  has  proven  accurate.  he  was  smart  to  mistrust  her  and  her  intentions.  if  he  had  arrived  when  he  was  supposed  to,  odea  would  already  be  dead.  it  is  apparent  in  the  VIOLENCE  of  her  handling.  the  female  had  no  intention  of  questioning  their  target.  so,  the  question  stems  -  why  is  she  so  desperate  to  secure  his  silence ?  what  does  this  man  know  that  she  wants  to  keep  hidden ?  there  is  a  flare  of  curiosity,  he  must  admit  -  but  it  is  muted  like  every  other  emotion  trapped  inside  of  him  and  it  is  not  strong  enough  for  him  to  pursue.               finally,  they  have  reached  their  mission  objective.   secure  odea.   radio  contact.   rendezvous  and  debrief.      from  here,  it  is  all  so  very  simple.  they  are  so  close  to  mission  completion ...       

     𝙶𝙻𝙰𝚉𝙺𝙾𝚅...    it  produces  a  reaction.   brows  dip,  furrowing  with  thought  -  eyes  flickering  down  to  the  concrete  floor  in  tandem.     for  a  half  second,  he  becomes  distracted  as  mind  chases  after  that  name,  which  echoes  across  the  dark  outer  edges  of  his  subconscious.      a  memory  exists  -  one  attached  to  that  name  -  and  it  is  not  a  happy  one.        somewhere  beneath  the  ice  and  blood,  there  runs  a  link  which  connects  glazkov  with  the  winter  soldier.          he  knows  it  is  there,  somewhere  inside  his  head,  painting  his  GRISLY  past,    but  his  mind  is  too  DAMAGED  to  bridge  the  gaps  and  too  weak  to  grab  hold  and  pull  it  into  the  light.    his  throat  tightens,  choking.    breath  held,  burning  in  his  lungs.  aside  from  the  minuscule  shifting  of  his  focus,  his  composure  does  not  break.  he  has  perfected  this  art,  of  STOICISM   -   and  over  the  years  had  learned  to  use  it  to  his  advantage.    hydra  believed  him  to  be  empty - headed  -  the  wipes  rendering  him  BRAINDEAD  -  and  thus  were  careless  with  their  words.  so  many  people  brimming  with  arrogance,    enjoying  the  sound  of  their  own  voice.               there  is  great  opportunity  in  silence,  in  ANONYMITY.    to  simply  listen  could  prove  to  be  the  most  dangerous  &&  greatest  weapon.    

     despite  his  composure,   there  is  an  undeniable  lick  of  panic  and  heightening  frustration.   he  hates  this  feeling  -  suddenly  exposed  to  the  pitfalls  of  his  own  mind,   his  own  memories  -  knowing  that  the  answers  he  needs  exist  somewhere  inside  his  own  head,   but  being  unable  to  recover  them ...    it  will  take  time  and  tremendous  effort  to  pluck  each  one  free  from  the  barbed  wire  tangled  around  his  mind,  james  knows  this.     he  understands  the  way  his  damaged  brain  works  and  why  it  behaves  the  fucked  up  way  it  does,  but  understanding  does  not  ease  frustration.             too  many  things  which  exist  in  his  past,    too  many  things  he  does  not  know  about  ...         and  it  always  leaves  him  feeling  exposed  &&  vulnerable.  he  repeats  the  name  inside  his  mind,  commits  it  to  memory  and  makes  note  to  follow  up  on  it  later.  for  now,  there  is  nothing  he  can  do  but  grit  his  teeth  and  maintain  composure.

     with  aggrieved  realization,  barnes  recognizes  that  glazkov  and  bozák  are  connected ...   and  this  is  disagreeable  because  if  there  exists  a  link  between  glazkov  and  the  winter  soldier,  there  is  a  potential  that  a  link  also  exists  connecting  himself  to  bozák.     &&  god,  he  hopes  not.      he  wants  to  be  rid  of  bozak’s  story.  he  FEARS  he  may  have  just  fallen  deeper  into  it ... 

     their  target  is  dead  seconds  later,  the  gunshot  muffled  in  part  to  her  silencer.  it  does  not  soften  the  sound  of  odea’s  heavy  body  smacking  against  the  ground.      ——  he  feels  the  pull,  the  sickening  tug  of  TIME.          the  chain  of  events  which  lead  him  from  then  to  here ...          carefully  planned  outcomes  violently  shifted,  the  future  shaped  by  hands  which  are  not  his  own.  deviation  from  the  expected  and  now ...  the  FALLOUT.          for  a  moment,  the  soldier  is  as  still  as  DEATH  itself,  eyes  as  dark  and  as  treacherous  as  the  ABYSS  -  boring  into  her.    she  is  quick  to  dismiss  his  anger,  brushing  him  off  with  a  child’s  pretension  and  some  poorly  fabricated  rebuttal  which  they  both  know  is  a  complete  LIE.   she  pretends  like  it  does  not  matter ...       cavalier  when  she  is  knows  how  IMPORTANT  mission  objectives  are  to  him.  he  does  not  expect  her  to  care,  of  course  not  -  but  the  least  she  can  do  is  SPARE  HIM the  piteous,  lazy  attempts  at  commentary  ...  he  does  not  need  her  MOCKERY.   it  does  little  to  quell  the  heat  of  his  temper.        &&  he  does  have  one.        she  should  pray  she  never  unleashes  it ... 

     BLOOD  POOLS  across  the  floor,   stretching  from  the  bullet  wound,   odea’s  brain  matter  and  skull  fragments  scattered  around  his  head  like  a  macabre  halo.  dying  before  their  eyes,  the  intel  they  were  sent  here  to  retrieve.   he  does  not  move.   he  does  not  breath.      she  has  come  here  to  do  what  she  aimed  to  do  from  the  very  start  and  now  that  she  is  done,            zofia  disregards  him  and  her  act  of  DEFIANCE  with  a  contemptuous  side  glance.  as  she  turns  to  leave,  barnes’  eyes  slide  away  from  her  and  onto  the  corpse  of  odea  instead.   

     so  many  people  brimming  with  arrogance,  enjoying  the  sound  of  their  own  voice.     there  is  great  opportunity  in  silence,  in  ANONYMITY.   to  simply  listen  could  prove  to  be  the  most  dangerous  && greatest  weapon.     

     he  does  not  allow  her  to  get  far.      

    ❛  NøKK.  ❜   the  name  echoes  off  the  walls,  LOUD  against  the  sudden  silence.  &&  for  the  first  time  that  night,  it  is  his  opportunity  to  sound  pretentious.  they  both  know,  if  nothing  else  -  even  if  she  did  manage  to  silence  odea,  cutting  them  off  from  obtaining  the  information  shield  was  after  -  he  was  still  able  to  gather  this  one,  small  piece  of  intel.    at  the  moment,  james  is  unaware  how  VITAL  the  single  piece  of  information  is,   but  he  has  it  now    -    and  he  will  use  it  as  a  weapon  if  he  needs  to.   flinty  eyes  flicker  away  from  odea  and  land  like  knives  between  her  shoulder blades.       there  is  a  flicker  of  curiosity  which  rumbles  softly  inside  of  him,  but  more  than  anything  -  it  is  IRRITATION  that  fuels  him.  ANGER  incited  by  mission  failure.  he  wants  to  shake  her  the  same  way  she  has  shaken  him  ;;  wants  to  dig  into  her  skin  just  as  she  has  slithered  beneath  his  own.  he  wants  to  make  her  PAY.  this  single  name,  NøKK  is  his  way  of  doing  so.  

     HE  DIDN’T  HAVE  ANYTHING.       funny.       eyes  return  to  the  corpse  at  his  feet  and  for  the  first  time,  the  GHOST  takes  a  step  out  into  the  light,     side  -  stepping  and  circling  around  the  dead  man.  he  makes  the  comment,  sounding  pleasantly  conversational.    ❛  seems  like  he  had  more  than  perhaps  even  fury  presumed ...  ❜      his  boot  comes  forward,  pressing  against  odea’s  shoulder,  kicking  him  over  onto  his  back.  barnes  stares  down  at  glossed  over,  dead  eyes  -  unperturbed.       

    he  fires  his  question,  and  hopes  it  shatters  through  her  like  a  bullet.  

          ❛  WHO  IS  NøKK ?  ❜        eyes  flash  dangerous,  from  corpse  to  agent.