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#where is the support group i need help!!!
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exceeded caution part 2
first time for everything
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series masterlist
a/n: heyy y’all!! so this is part 2 of exceeded caution. a lot of it follows the actual movie because i needed set-up for ghostface. there’s still a lot of interaction between the reader + sam & tara but some of it is from the first 30 minutes of scream vi essentially.
warnings: violence (gun usage, knife usage), cursing. he/him pronouns for ghostface.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
a few days ago, sam was nowhere near the forefront of your mind. you had stayed with the group as they navigated their way through accepting that ghostface might be back.
you hadn't spoken to tara much, you felt like you wouldn't be any help to her. she didn't need her ex-girlfriend that she only dated out of convenience around her constantly.
instead, the other carpenter sister started to find solace in your presence.
you found yourself over quite a bit, you noticed that they valued strength in numbers. you even all set a rotation between the group for who would cook that week.
during your week to cook, sam insisted on joining you when grocery shopping. as you promised her that she wouldn't be alone, she mentally promised you the same thing.
"it's just a simple beef stroganoff recipe, sam. you really don't have to come." you smiled sheepishly as you pulled up outside her apartment, she was hopping into your passenger seat.
"ghostface won't let a grocery store stop him from taking lives." sam was firm in her words, you sighed in defeat and drove off towards the shops that were only a couple minutes away from her place. you wanted her to feel safe still.
she pushed the cart while you took ingredients off the shelves, mumbling to yourself as you chucked them in the cart.
"tara used to say your food was amazing. where did you learn to cook?" she asked you, you looked away from your list to smile at her.
"my mom, she's amazing at cooking. she gave up her career to support my dad and become a fulltime housewife." you explained. "i used to help her cook all the time."
"that's pretty cool. i find myself never having the time for new foods. i should probably get on that."
"i can teach you some. or make some for you, i like cooking for people." you shrugged, taking another ingredient off the shelves.
sam would normally decline if you were anyone else, but she felt the urge to accept.
"sure. that would be nice." she nodded at you.
sam had enjoyed you being around more often and getting to know you outside of tara. she even found herself calling you a friend.
or rather, she tried to keep it at friend. she was trying to hide the fact that she felt a pull to you, she didn't know how to explain it. although, one thing was sure, there was an element of guilt to it.
she wasn’t the only one feeling guilty. you felt almost dirty with how much you thought of sam. because of the frequency of your contact, you found yourself wanting to see her more.
was this against some form of girl code that you shouldn’t want to hang out with your ex’s sister?
“um… how are you?” she could see that you were nervous to ask her that. “i know you probably get asked that all the time but i never ask… and i want to know.”
“that’s fine. i figured you would get curious. you always seem to be.” sam commented.
“is curiosity bad?” you teased a little, noting her phrasing.
“no! not at all.” she perked up, shaking her head.
“don’t worry sam, i’m joking.” you realised that the carpenter sisters weren’t used to bantering with someone they weren’t extremely close to— or someone they didn’t love.
“right.” she bit her lip. “but no? it’s not bad at all.” she chuckled. “but i’m… not okay?”
you nodded, respecting her answer and silently thanking her for being honest.
“i hoped that we would escape this when we moved. and i’ve been doing everything to protect tara but it didn’t end for sidney prescott— so i assume that it won’t end for us.” she scratched her brow, the stress getting to her. “i’m sorry you got involved.”
“it’s okay, sam. i knew what i was getting into when i dated tara.” you nodded. “if it happened again, i already knew i’d stick around.”
“that’s admirable.”
you felt your heart clench a little when she said that. nobody had ever told you that your desire to stick around was admirable. you always got “clingy” or “overbearing.” that was the first time you’d ever gotten a compliment on it.
“oh! um… thank you.” you stuttered out, a blush flooding your cheeks. you knew that sam meant it too, she wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better. she was genuinely saying it.
“it’s true.” it was.
you tried to push your flustered down into the depths of your mind as you struggled to reach the top shelf with the last of your ingredients. you were definitely taller than tara— everyone was. but not tall enough to face this eight layered shelf.
sam was.
sam was taller. and she made that perfectly clear when she basically pressed up behind you to grab this damn dijon mustard for you.
oh no… oh no… you had to stop those thoughts. you had turned around too quickly, basically coming chest to chest with the girl. she didn’t seem to mind— and you refused to mind.
you had never been this close to her before. your eyes trailed over all her features, taking them in. she looked just like tara… maybe that’s whats got your heart beating at the speed of light.
but she wasn’t tara. no, she was sam. and you found that to be what sealed the deal for you.
you found her pretty.
you remained silent as you finished off the last of the ingredient collection. you walked over to the self check-out, scanning the items as the blush continued to make its presence known as sam hovered.
you shuffled some things around in your pocket to try and find your card but before you knew it, sam was paying for your groceries.
“what—“ you tried to protest but the transaction had gone through already.
sam didn’t know what overcame her.
it was her way of taking care of you.
it was even her way of apologising to you.
"sam, you didn't have to do that." you shook your head at her.
"my treat, i didn't get to cook for everyone so this is my way of contributing." she shook you off. you knew that was a lie because mindy sent you a photo of meals you missed, one being sam's.
there was no undoing it now. you sighed and reached for the bags, but sam was one step ahead of you, grabbing them and walking out of the store.
you wished you could wash the blush off with soap.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
when you arrived for dinner with your groceries. everyone was already at the carpenter’s apartment. they were spread out across the entire floor, conversing with each other.
you got to cooking almost immediately, knowing that everyone had potentially been there for a while. sam left your side to talk to quinn.
you kept feeling eyes on you.
the shorter carpenter sister was talking to mindy when she felt her attention turn away from her and onto you. she watched you cook, she actually always loved your cooking.
she loved when you would make a dinner catered just to her. she actually missed how lively the kitchen used to be when you were in it. you were even dancing around now, your headphones tucked over your ear.
she smiled a little at how you shook your waist to the music. everyone knew not to bother you so you could get it done quicker.
but tara wanted to bother you. she wanted to approach you and say something, anything to break the silence.
you were friends before everything went down. she thought that maybe she could at least salvage that, that would be her way to redemption.
mindy kept talking and talking before cutting herself off suddenly, realising that tara was no longer paying attention.
“tara, don’t.” mindy said, disappointment clear in her tone. “this is something you need to give time to.”
“there’s been a lot of time.” tara muttered, glaring at mindy.
“you can’t just break her heart and expect her to let you back in so quickly.” mindy held her shoulder back.
“i know it won’t be quick, but i have to try.” tara said through her teeth, pulling her shoulder out of mindy’s grasp and starting to make her way towards you.
tara stopped on her heels when she saw her sister already take your attention. she thought that she’d better not interrupt you.
“whatcha listening to?” sam asked you, her arms crossed over her chest.
you pulled your headphones back a little.
“sloppy jane.” you said.
“sloppy jane? what kind of name is that?!” sam laughed.
“she’s cool! i promise!” you raised your hands up in defense. you took your headphones off your head, you gently placed them on sam. your hands nicking strands of her long hair before you pulled them away.
she held eye contact with her as her head bobbed to the music, you matched the bobbing, knowing which part of the song she was on.
a smile formed on her face while you two were in sync. your eyes started to crinkle up with a smile as your hair started getting in your face when you headbanged. she joined you until the kitchen was filled with laughter.
“okay… okay. i see it now. she has a good sound.” sam agreed with you, placing the headphones back on you but leaving an ear open.
“thank you.” you chuckled, moving the beef strips into the bowl you intended to serve it in.
“this smells soooo good.” sam practically moaned out, you laughed at the noise she made.
“well, you’re gonna have to wait like everyone else!” you teased.
she groaned and rolled her eyes. you liked seeing her loosen up a bit more, you were grateful she was getting more comfortable around you.
as you two laughed, tara stared on.
she remembered when she was in sam’s place. she even felt herself grow jealous at her sister. why did she ever think that what she was doing to you was okay? your heart was gold and tara thought she had turned it dark— she realised your golden heart’s integrity never faltered. you were still just as good.
she was cruel and she broke your heart. she didn’t think she would regret it— until she suddenly felt all that guilt wash over her. was she regretting it?
you enlisted sam to help you bring all your dishes to the table.
“beef stroganoff, pasta, and rice. choose your carb to go with it and enjoy!” you presented your meal to the group.
everyone admired your work and sat down at the table. you ended up sitting beside mindy who talked your ear off about some pottery class that she and anika took.
you glanced over at sam first, her eyes meeting yours during her conversation with ethan. you two exchanged heartfelt smiles, you had a good day because of each other.
then you looked at tara, who was already looking at you. her first serving was practically gone. you knew that she loved one thing about you, and it was your cooking. she held a sadness behind those eyes, you saw into it, but you had your doubts that it was sadness.
when you noticed her plate, you felt yourself flash her a smile too. she returned it, it was shy but still genuine. her plate was cleaned up just seconds after everyone served themselves.
crumbs of you, tara would take. she cherished that smile you gave to her, even if it was forced or accidental. it filled her brain.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
washing up had to be done, you wanted do it yourself, saying how you were on a roll from cooking that you wanted to do the cleaning too.
sam was about to speak up but suddenly, tara found her voice.
“i’ll help!” she said, chirping up. everyone looked at her with confusion. they didn’t expect that she would do that for you.
“oh… okay!” you said, making your way over to the kitchen.
you scrubbed the plates and handed them to her to dry. it was a good system that worked.
“you did well with dinner today. your cooking is always good.” tara smiled at you.
“thank you, tara. i appreciate it.” your lips pressed into a thin line.
“i just wanted to say that.” she put the plates onto the drying rack. “we haven’t spoken in a while.”
“i know. i just wanted to give you space. i felt like i wasn’t much help to you ever. and i felt like i wouldn’t be much help now.” you confessed. “but i want to stick around, i would be a pretty shit person if i didn’t.”
she felt horrible that you thought that you wouldn’t be help. in fact, there were some nights that tara found herself longing for you.
“we were friends before this, do you think we’d be able to get back to that?” she asked, searching your face for hope. but all she saw was doubt.
“maybe, tara.” you turned to her, handing her the last of the dishes. you saw the dejected look on her face and sighed. you wanted to go back to that too, you missed the tara that was a good friend to you. “but we can try.”
tara’s face lit up, a bit of shock also hidden between the lines. “okay! yeah… let’s try.” she put the dish away and held her hand out, you chuckled but you shook it.
what you failed to see was your maybe friend’s sister staring at you both from the living room, her jaw tightened as tara touched you.
sam zoned back into the conversation, realising that the show they were watching was long gone and replaced by the news again.
there was another death.
sam erupted in her anger, suddenly storming into the kitchen, grabbing the sharpest knife that she owned.
you had no idea what just happened, tara followed her sister back to the living room, the commotion having everyone sit up.
“sam! slow down!” tara yelled after her sister, you joined them after putting the dishes away. “can we please think about this before you decide to abandon my college education?!”
you couldn’t blame sam for wanting to leave. this was something that she just wanted to escape. as much as you would be upset, you would understand. you’d help, even.
you would help them pack up if it meant they were away from everything. you were prepared to never speak of the carpenter sisters again, in hopes that they would never have to go through this again.
“this can’t just be a coincidence, tara!” sam yelled back at her. today was the day where you saw the genetic stubbornness displayed by the carpenter sisters.
“quinn, can you please call your dad?!” tara asked their roommate, quinn immediately nodded. you could tell she didn’t want to get yelled at by sam but it was a reasonable point of action.
ring!!!
everyone flinched. you didn’t. it was just a phone ringing to you, but to everyone else, it was so much more.
sam’s phone blared on the table, she walked over only to see that it was gale weathers, she declined the call without a doubt.
you watched as quinn travelled across the room, telling sam that her father wanted to speak to her. you heard the muffled voice of mr. bailey from where you were standing.
“okay, thank you. i’ll be right there.” sam hung up. “he wants me down at the station.”
“i’ll drive you.” you said, grabbing your keys. “i live close to the station.”
“you shouldn’t have to—“ you cut sam off.
“no. i will. no man left behind, remember?” you said, firm in your decision. sam sighed but nodded.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
you, sam, and tara made it out the door and started to walk to your car.
suddenly, sam’s phone rang again. the two girls stopped when they saw the name displayed on the screen.
richie kirsch.
richie? you recognized that name. you huddled closer to the sisters, closing your eyes to rack your memory for where you knew that name.
no. wait.
it couldn’t be. he was dead, wasn’t he?
“don’t pick that up.” tara said, looking up at sam.
sam hesitated, but it could be important. these calls were life or death for them. she picked up.
you looked at your surroundings. you suddenly felt so exposed, like anything could happen to you now that you weren’t in the comforts of your own home— or anyone’s home.
“who is this?” sam asked into the phone. you couldn’t hear the responses, only sam’s facial expressions changing as time went on.
her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes changed. you saw woodsboro glaze her pupils, you knew she was thinking back to her life before the city. everything was resurfacing.
“i want you to think long and hard about whether or not you wanna do this because the last two people that fucked with us ended up dead.” she said, planting her feet down with determination.
your eyes started to tear away from sam, not absorbing the conversation.
bad gut feeling.
you had to stop ignoring those.
“you better watch your back, asshole.” sam said.
and tara yelled.
a cloaked figure sporting a ghostface mask suddenly grabbed tara, you sprung into action. tara elbowed the figure and you shoved him into the bike rack.
“go!” you said, running just behind the two sisters.
“there!” sam redirected you into a little corner store. you stood with your front to the door while the girls yelled at the cashier to help them, starting a fight with someone in line.
suddenly ghostface walked in.
you backed up into sam, pushing her backwards a little bit while one of the customers stood tall in front of the infamous killer.
you watched as ghostface drove their knife into the man, multiple times.
you gasped, your hand flying to your mouth. you had never seen anyone get killed before. you thought ghostface had specific targets, this wasn’t just an ordinary killer, this killer wasn’t afraid to take any life that stood in his way.
you turned around and the three of you flooded into the back of the store as the clerk wielded his gun.
when the first gunshot rang, sam’s arm flew to cover you as chips flew everywhere. tara was crouched just beside the two of you.
suddenly, there was a second gunshot. but only after you heard the clerk start begging for his life.
you tried to stay quiet, you didn’t realise where parts of your body were. you had a hand on sam’s abdomen, bunching her shirt into your fist. you were terrified, you had never gone through this before. you couldn’t imagine what sam & tara were feeling.
you couldn’t move— or else he would know where you were.
the corner store was quiet, it was like a cruel game of cat and mouse. you heard crunching as the sound of boots got closer to you.
all three of you rounded the corner to avoid detection. sam hid behind a freezer while you and tara hid behind the shelving. you saw sam’s eyes flicker to a can on the ground and you knew what she was trying to say.
carefully, you reached out and picked the can off the floor. it was disgusting and sticky. was this what they had to result to when defending themselves? putting themselves in disgusting situations? you felt twisted picturing them going through this once— now twice.
you threw the can across the corner store, hearing boots walk in the other direction. it was a successful distraction. the three of you started crawling towards the exit.
when you heard the boots stop moving again, you paused. sam leaned forward, you could tell that she could see a lot clearer than you. she slowly inched towards the shelving, then she suddenly shoved it with her shoulder, knocking it down.
god, she was strong.
had she been training herself to get stronger? in case this happened again?
the three of you hauled ass to the exit, being met with cop cars and their sirens.
the three of you were escorted into the cars. the sisters rode in one while you went in the other. you fidgeted with your fingers. then it was daunting on you.
baby’s first ghostface attack.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
you sat in an interrogation room at the precinct. the walls were closing in on you.
you had been close to death before. you remember when you and your parents got into that gnarly car accident that had you coming out with several broken bones and whiplash. you cradled your arm, feeling the after-effects of the worst injury you sustained.
but this wasn't a car t-boning yours. this was a killer.
and you felt like death was kissing your cheek.
you didn't know where sam and tara were, you assumed a different interrogation room. you were waiting for ages, you thought that maybe someone was attending to them first.
you sat in silence for about ten more minutes, trying to decompress the situation.
the lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing detective bailey. you had met quinn's dad in passing, never really speaking to him.
"mr. bailey. how are you?" you asked him, sitting up in your chair. you noticed he had files in his hand. this was going to take longer than you wanted.
"i'm good. thank you... how are you doing? you weren't around for woodsboro, i'm sure it's a bit of a shock to be involved now." straight into it.
"a bit is an understatement, sir." you let out a dry chuckle. "i'm assuming you're going to be asking me more than just 'how are you' though..."
"i'm sorry. i know you're probably tired." he sighed, you nodded. you were trying to hold back a yawn.
"it's fine."
he sat down across from you, opening the file and putting its contents in front of you.
"you're the newest addition to the group, quinn has talked about you. i know you and tara had a past relationship. were you frequently in and out of their apartment?" he asked.
"yeah... tara and i were together for a bit. i usually visited her and i also hang out with mindy and chad, so yes, i was frequently at theirs." you nodded, you often found that honesty was the best policy with these things.
"i know that your relationship with her ended badly." he stated, you scoffed.
"surely a bad break-up isn't enough motivation to go on these killing sprees, right?" you asked, a bit offended.
"sometimes it might just be."
"did you have access to sam carpenter's belongings?" he followed up. what did sam's stuff have to do with this?
"um... no. not really. i never really interacted with sam until ghostface was rumored to resurface. and even then, i don't really have that access." you crossed your arms across your chest, your eyes scanning the photos on the desk. you spotted a photo of sam's license, bloodied and dumped at the scene of the crime.
someone was trying to frame her.
"we found sam's license next to the body."
"well she was with me all day. we went grocery shopping and i cooked everyone dinner." you quickly jumped at the chance to defend her. "tara was there too."
mr. bailey nodded at you confirming their alibi.
"sam said the same thing." he reassured you. he leaned in a bit closer to you. "although, i'd be cautious about those sisters. especially sam. i wouldn't get too close."
your brows furrowed in frustration.
"i'm sure i have nothing to worry about. they're good people." you didn't want to speak any further on the matter.
you hated that the thought of either of them being responsible for these deaths even crossed the detective's mind. he was supposed to be helping them.
two knocks against the door turned the detective's attention to another officer walking into the room.
"the fbi is here." the officer said. detective bailey looked confused.
"the fbi? where?" he stood up then turned to you. "you're free to go. i think sam and tara are waiting for you."
you stood from your seat and followed him, making your way over to the two dark-haired sisters. tara was the first to spot you, nudging sam until she turned around.
you sped up, you didn't know what it was. you just had to make sure she was real.
you wrapped your arms around sam. you felt her tense up out of shock but return the gesture.
"i'm sorry." you apologised for the sudden hug.
"it's okay." sam smiled warmly.
you turned to tara and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly.
tara's eyes met yours. those pleading doe eyes, they wanted more than just a squeeze on the shoulder. she wished she was sam in that moment.
"i'm really glad you two are okay." you cleared your throat. sam smiled at you, even if it was forced, it was nice to see.
you heard two voices chatting just a little bit aways from you. sam started moving towards them, you and tara followed behind.
"kirby?" she spoke, getting the attention of a blonde woman.
"hey sam." kirby replied, moving to hug sam as well.
"do you know each other?" bailey asked.
"yeah... we went to woodsboro high together. she was a senior when i was a freshman." sam clarified. you studied the woman in front of you.
all you could say was that she looked cool. she was an fbi agent that had been monitoring the sisters for a little while. you realised that this had been the kirby involved with the killings too. they shared a very unique experience between each other.
you stayed behind sam while they conversed. kirby was handed the mask that was left at the scene. the mask used in the 2011 killings. kirby lifted her shirt to show the scar that charlie walker gave her.
sam looked uncomfortable. she realised then that this was bigger than just a killing spree, they were trying to send a message.
kirby proposed you all worked together but sam interjected, not giving her the chance to finish.
"we're getting out of town." she pushed through kirby and detective bailey.
"i'm sorry, that's not possible. you're both persons of interest. all three of you are." bailey warned.
"are you serious?" tara stepped forward, the growing frustration evident in her voice.
"he's right." kirby confirmed. "but if we work together-"
"we're going." sam basically barked an order at you and tara.
"my car's back at your place." you said. sam nodded. a small part of her brain was happy that you would be around after that.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
when the three of you made your way out of the precinct, you had never seen so many cameras before. reporters swarmed the three of you, immediately asking sam questions like if she had an alibi or if tara felt safe with her sister.
they didn't pay you any mind, how could they? you were fresh meat to the group, they didn't care about your story. luckily, it allowed you to mercilessly shove them back, helping make space for sam and tara to walk through the flood.
you found yourself holding onto sam's waist, pulling her towards the open spots you've created with your body pushing against the reporters.
"gale weathers." a voice sounded out in the crowd, causing the sisters to stop in their tracks. you knew that name too, it felt like an endless revision on who was who, if you had studied well enough. "do you ladies think that you're the reason that the ghostface killer has come to the big apple?" she asked.
you saw it in sam. she snapped. she'd had a long night, she nearly lost her life. she nearly lost her sister. and her... friend.
she swung with her fist out.
"sam!" you exclaimed as gale ducked, avoiding the punch. you pulled sam's waist back, you knew she didn't need another video of her going viral. she put her hands over yours, allowing you to hold her back. you had to admit, it felt nice knowing you had a bit of pull on her.
although, you failed to account for the shorter carpenter sister. you failed to catch her pulling her elbow back and swinging at gale with a force of her own.
you jumped at the noise made by the contact and had to hold back a laugh at gale's shocked face. sam cracked a smile, she couldn't help herself.
"stay away from us." tara spat at gale.
you two turned to walk towards a cab that was parked outside the station. you pushed sam slightly by her waist, hoping she wouldn't turn back around.
but gale weathers just had to say something.
"are you two seriously still mad about what happened?"
"you wrote a book. about them." she didn't expect you to say anything. she didn't know who you were or what you were to the carpenters. she looked at you as if you were irrelevant, like another body that ghostface could dispose of just to raise the numbers.
"and who are you?" she asked, a snark in her voice.
"doesn't matter. you took advantage of them. of the fact that they lost their friends, they nearly lost each other." you shook your head. "i remember you, from tara's stories."
tara watched you fight back. how could you still do that after she hurt you? you were full of surprises. she had never seen your tongue so laced with venom before.
"you lost someone too. dewey... if someone kept shoving that down your throat, how would you feel?" you asked, glaring her way as sam and tara entered the cab. gale's stance shifted, she was uncomfortable with a stranger knowing so much information about her personal life. but then again, she put the carpenter sisters' life out there for the whole world to see.
"i remember your book too. you called sam unstable, you painted her in the worst light possible. and i thought you had been through enough with her to know that that's not true." you turned back to the two girls, opening the door to the back of the cab for them.
sam's face was unreadable as she hopped into the car. she stared at the back of your head, or more like the back of your seat. you stood up for her, breaking your kind and golden-hearted demeanour. she was worried that being in this situation would change you for the worst.
you sat in silence after telling the driver where to go. leaning back into your seat, you tried to keep your eyes open. you hadn't gotten any sleep since last night, your time divided between the carpenter residence and the station.
there was so little to say and yet so many words were jumbled in your brain.
when you arrived at the carpenter's apartment, you yawned as you exited the cab. sam caught you do so and stopped you before you could unlock your car. her hand covered yours, gripping it in her own.
"you should rest here for a little bit. you're too tired to drive." she said, looking down at you. you wanted to get home and sleep in your own bed but you knew she was right.
you put your car keys away and walked upstairs with them.
tara immediately made a beeline for the bathroom. she always showered after coming home, she couldn't go a day without smelling like vanilla.
sam put pillows and blankets down on their couch and walked into her room, coming back out with some clothes.
"you can change into these for now, you might as well make yourself comfortable. and you can sleep for as long as you want." she said, you took the clothes and nodded at her.
she sat down on the couch and pulled the blanket up slightly to cover herself, you grabbed the blanket to stop her.
"what are you doing? i'll take the couch." you said, furrowing your brows.
"no. you'll take my bed." she looked up at you from the couch.
"it's your damn bed, sam." you didn't mean to sound so ill-mannered but the tiredness was getting the best of you.
"i know. so i'll do with it as i please." you know it was just her trying to show that she cared. "so you're taking it."
you sighed sharply, you were about to take a massive risk.
"share it with me." you said, holding your ground. you didn't want to kick sam out of her own bed.
she saw the determination on your face. you two were going to sit here and bicker if she didn't give in now. she nodded, standing up and making her way back to her room.
you changed into sam's clothes, her scent wafting as the shirt fell over your figure. then you cracked the door open enough to slip yourself into her room.
just as you entered sam's room, tara came out of the bathroom. she had the look of a shattered woman on her face, you should have been going into her room. she should have offered first.
you shut the door behind you, walking towards the bed where sam was sitting. you spotted her nursing her hand, spotting a deep cut from crawling on glass at the bodega.
"sam, you should've gotten that taken care of." you scolded her a little, walking to her bathroom and grabbing a medkit you knew was there. tara had told you that she put one in every bathroom.
you knelt in front of sam, unpacking the kit to grab the antiseptic and a bandage.
"it's fine, it's only a cut." she protested.
"if ghostface doesn't get you, an infected cut will. and i think that's extremely embarrassing." you tried to make light of it, your exhaustion washing over you. "this'll hurt."
you dabbed the antiseptic into sam's cut. she hissed at the sting. but the sight in front of her was better. you, in her clothes, patching her up. this was probably the worst time for her to form a crush, and probably the worst person to form it on. her sister's ex-girlfriend, who was now involved in the ghostface killings. but your soft features, your concern for her, it was hard to resist you.
she chalked it up to exhaustion, maybe this crush would fade away when she was in her right mind.
but when you situated yourself next to her in bed, your respectful nature forcing you to leave ample space so you two weren't touching each other, she hoped that she would one day earn the honour of closing that gap.
as she closed her eyes, she listened in to your soft breathing. and even when you accidentally ended up shoulder to shoulder in bed,
sam refused to move.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
author's journal okay i actually spent way too much time on this chapter, i had to write out the first 30 minutes of scream vi with a reader insert so it was a little bit more cohesive with the storyline. i don't know how i feel about this one chapter in particular but i'm starting to see the vision for the rest of the series teehee. i promise it wont just be the whole movie written down but it'll definitely have canon events. next chapter is most likely going to be non-canon as much as possible just cause this is a romance fic at the end of the day.
also this is the song i intended for the reader to be listening to with sam
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svt-rosalie · 1 day
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hi!! i was just wondering if you could go more in depth about yoongi and rosie’s relationship? they are such a sweet sibling duo and i’d love to read more about them!
. . . ♡ YOOJI ! ? 🐡 TIMELINE ★ ゚๑
ׁ ׅ ୨ ❪ relationships! ❫ ୧ ⊹ ࣪
© 2024 , svt-rosalie rosalie masterlist!
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you're in the first sentence of this
non-stopping page, my brightest dream
rainbow, nct dream
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2013-2014 / Where It All Started.
Rosalie had attended a BTS fansign in 2013, when she got some free time after training
She loved meeting all the boys but her favorite was Yoongi
He was confused when she confessed that statement towards, yet she explained that his attitude and rapping skills drew her in and she’s excited to see what they become
She hoped they would make it big and all their dreams would come true
Rosie also confessed that she was training too at Pledis and hoped one day he could see her on stage and cheer her on like she does him
Their interaction was short but memorable
Yoongi spoke about her to his company and asked if they could get in contact with hers to see if it would be allowed for her to visit back and forth for training purposes
Pledis was skeptical, not wanting a trainee of theirs to get into a scandal before they even made a debut, but as long as their meetings were supervised then it was fine
(As if a 13 year old girl is thinking of anything other then school and her training?? Shut the fuck up Pledis)
The big brother roll set in very quickly for Yoongi
The two would spend time together with Yoongi teaching her skills with writing music and helping her rap even though she knew she wanted to be a singer
Knowing how to rap wasn’t a bad skill, as Yoongi would say
Every single time they would work together Rosalie took in every word Yoongi said like he hung the moon in the sky
Again — Rosalie was a fan of Yoongi and all the other members of BTS. So, it was crazy for her to be in the same room as the boy, gaining tips and tricks from him even though he was still a rookie
She just knew though that he and his member would be something one day, and she’d be right their supporting them!
2015-2018 / Debut, and More
After months of training and putting her blood, sweat and tears into everything that she does
Rosalie finally debuts
She hadn’t told a single soul that her groups first music video would be out on May 26 that year
Not even Yoongi, it was suppose to be a surprise
And surprised he was
Yoongi didn’t find out until Seventeen had a stage on the same day as BTS at the same place ( author note, i know run by bts was released in april 2015 so i feel like their schedules might have overlap but im not sure, so we are going to pretend they did!)
BTS has been busy that year, changing their concept and figuring out what said group was going to be with their newest comeback ‘Run’ — so Yoongi didn’t really have the chance to ask Rosalie many questions other then
‘How are you doing?’ ‘Are you eating correctly?’ ‘Is anyone being mean to you?’ ect ect
So it definitely threw the older boy off when the (at the time) 5’6 girl comes running at him and yelling “I debuted! I debuted! Aren’t you happy?”
Yoongi was very excited for her even if he didn’t show it well
Rosie knew though
She knew that he was proud and little scared for her as well in his eyes.
Eyes tell.
Yoongi and Rosie cheered each other on silently and behind the scenes
The older boy would send her flowers and words of encouragement when she had a showcase she’s was nervous to perform for or when she needed some uplifting words
Rosalie would show him pictures of her pulling his photos cards and would subtly promote BTS whenever she could.
The kpop community found out of their friendship when Yoongi released his solo mixtape under the name Agust D and they had a collab named ‘So Far Away’
Fans were surprised but at the same time not really that surprised, if that makes sense?
Everyone saw the subtly of their friendship, a senior and junior.
But it was more of older brother and younger sister.
Yoongi even though he would encourage her and give her advice, he still teased her.
They took the world by storm again when posting a photo together on BTS twitter with the caption “annoying little sister.”
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Since 2017 they’ve became known to the world as the nations favorite siblings
Even though they aren’t related!
2020-Present / A Lifetime Friendship
The continued to have a strong bond throughout the years
They released many collabs together such as the song Eight on Rosalie’s first solo album, People Pt.2 on Yoongi’s Second mixtape
The public loved and hold on to every interaction they have
Rosalie’s parents think of Yoongi as a son they dreamed for
Yes, they love their two daughters but having son wouldn’t be so bad
At least that’s what Rosie’s mother says every time the older boy visits
Rosalie calls Yoongi any chance she gets
You know how their are some girls that call their mom or dad when they are in the car or getting ready, that’s Rosalie with Yoongi
Constantly.
The amount of youtube complications made for Yoongi and Rosie’s friendship
Clips resurface every year such as . . .
A clip from one of Rosie’s vlog of her and Yoongi going strawberry picking and then Rosie forcing the boy to bake a strawberry cake from the fruit they picked that day
Or Yoongi being recorded supporting Rosie at her Solo debut showcase in Seoul
Clips of Rosalie’s collection go BTS album collection right next to her SEVENTEEN ones, she likes to show off the photo cards she collect
(She’s one of us guys)
The two have never argued, disagreements yes, but they never get angry with each other
Rosalie is so happy she has someone like Yoongi in her life and Yoongi feels the exact same.
Twin flames, the two will stick by each others side till the very end
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author note — this sucks, i’m sorry
taglist — @angie-x3 @alixnsuperstxr @allthings-fandoms @peachyaeger @sakufilms @aysxldea @swagcandyfun @wonwooz1 @s4nsmoon @seolarzone @miyx-amour @novwonia @marissa-11 @magicsoyeon @skzfairies @btskzfav @vhsdolly @vlbi @iamawkwardandshy
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genderqueerdykes · 8 hours
Note
So recently I’ve been getting into the punk culture, but I can’t dress punk or listen to punk music because I have adhd and it triggers my sensory issues. Do I have to wear punk clothes or listen to punk music to be considered punk? How “punk” do I have to look or act to be considered punk?
good question!
fortunately there's no dress codes or anything like that for the community. most punks don't really even dress punk- a lot of people who behave in very punk ways wear plain clothes. many librarians, food kitchen workers, homeless outreach workers, social workers, and other people are punk and dress just as plain as anyone around them
punk is in the behavior and the beliefs- if you behave in a way where you actively break down oppressive structures that we participate in on a daily basis and learn to accept and help our communities and the people who are most heavily affected by that oppression (people of color, mentally ill people, neurodivergent people, addicts, homeless people, sex workers, intersex people, trans people, poor people), you are fitting the part
i also don't listen to a lot of punk music due to sensory issues from autism, so don't feel too bad. i did listen to quite a bit when i was living in a house venue, but it's not something i seek out on my own due to my sensory problems with sound. it's not necessary to be into the punk music scene unless that's something you actively want to participate in and enjoy. many people are just in the punk music scene and that's totally okay. some people really enjoy that, and some don't. artists will express in what ways they see fit, and others will focus their attention elsewhere. there are many ways to be punk
the only way to not be punk is to be a nazi, cop, or other type of fascist- being racist, queerphobic, ableist, intersexist and their enablers is also a great way to not be punk.
many punks are punk in the sense where they do their best to be their for their local community, provide resources and aid where possible, teach others to unlearn racism, queerphobia, ableism and other forms of internalized oppression, and generally try to provide a helping hand to whoever may need it. many punks hand out water and snacks to homeless people in their area. many punks are nurses. many punks work in social services to help disabled and homeless people. many punks dedicate their time to helping the environment, learning how to sustainably garden and take care of the earth while doing so, compost, and other ways to provide sustainable, responsibly and ethically sourced foods
there are punks all around us, even if they're not dressed in battle jackets and ripped jeans with chains and spikes and patches and pins. sometimes a punk is the person standing on the sidewalk in a T-shirt and jeans smoking a cigarette, but you'll never be able to guess or tell just by looking that they spend hours out of their week participating in protests and writing anarchist zines. much like any other group of people there's no way to tell if someone is punk just by looking at them or gauging their interests- it's about how they behave and how they treat people around them
dismantling structures that are designed to keep marginalized and targeted people down is what the punk community is about. you don't have to be an activist, either- as long as you take the time to learn how to treat demonized and outcasted people with decency and respect, and how to support your community in whatever ways you can, you're doing what you're supposed to do. you don't have to volunteer or spend hours handing out resources to people in need. but what is important is to refuse to participate in holding down people who cause no harm who are just trying to live their lives
hope that helps! feel free to ask any more questions you may have
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stusbunker · 1 day
Text
Spotless: Cambiare
Chapter Thirty Five
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Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader
Other characters: Both bands and crew, Madison, Alice and Max Miller, Cas' brother Jimmy mentioned, Alastair
Word Count: 3241
Warnings, etc: Mutual pining, still unbeta'd, drinking and mild drug use, smoking cigarettes , Kevin is still a shit and we love him for it, fundraiser fluff, first show in Vegas then somebody shows up to ruin Dean's winning streak. SAFE House is a real organization, but all information about them in this fic is fictional, including locations, organizers and fundraiser protocols.
Series Masterlist
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The desert sun shined down, even in mid-March, you were grateful for sunglasses as you walked across the parking lot of the furniture store that was hosting the fundraiser. Part of the core principles of SAFE House and organizations like it was its discretion, so nothing that night was taking place near the actual houses where families escaping domestic violence resided. The main office was tucked into a back corner of a row of single story businesses and also a good distance away.
Behind you was the band in ball caps and sunglasses, Bobby and Annie, while Benny, Cesar, Jesse and Chief followed behind. Charlie and the rest of the crew were setting up at the venue for the following nights’ performances. Victor and SPS had other plans for the night before their Vegas debut, but that was understandable. Plus, they sent their support both in person and via social media.
Alice Miller, the Director of Outreach, met you at the registration booth and gave you a bundle of volunteer badges and tickets for the food stands as well as a map of the grounds. 
“We are so grateful for you being here and helping spread the word. We’ve barely been able to get away from the phones since you mentioned the event on the radio this morning. We’re expecting a record breaking year for the carnival.”
Careful to not seem too unsurprised, you downplayed what you expected to be a very busy night. “It’s the least we could do. Now— where did you want the band?”
“Max?” Alice called a younger man over. “Max is my stepson, and he’s in charge of volunteer assignments. While I’ll be around, Max will be able to answer any questions better than I would.”
The guy seemed a little awkward, but he also seemed to at least recognize who he was talking to. “Alright, guys, glad to have you. I have the band assigned two two hour long stints at the Dunk Tank, the Photo Booth, and the Face Painting stand. Your call on if you stick to one station or switch it up. I’ll leave the list with your publicist. Breaks are expected, but please let somebody know when you need one so we can make the swap as seamless as possible. Your team members are welcome to participate, or just stand guard, but please remember we are as low contact as possible with crowd control.”
You had clocked a good chunk of guys you suspected to be plain clothed police officers donning security vests at the next table. You kept your thoughts to yourself on that matter, as long as the families and participants were safe, you were happy.
“Thanks, Max. I gave them the spiel on the ride over. Can we get some group shots with you and the other employees before we get into our stations?”
“Of course, give me ten minutes and we can get everyone together. I’ll give you a walkie, too, just in case. Though we don’t have enough for everyone.”
“Understood.”
You gave him a firm nod and clipped the communicator to your back pocket. He ducked out of the small tent, while you stepped back towards the group you came with, so the line of other volunteers behind you could get signed in. You glanced down the clipboard with the empty blocks of scheduled time at each of the stations. 
Kevin and Dean were on you in an instant.
“Please put me anywhere but the face painting. I can’t draw for shit,” Kevin begged.
“Sam either, don’t do it, Trouble. It will be a mess,” Dean warned.
“Okay, well, Dunk Tank is going to have to be an all or last stint because nobody is going to be able to pose for pictures or do face-painting when they’re soaked to the bone,” you reasoned out loud.
You turned and spoke louder. “Alright, Pam and Annie, let’s have you do the face painting. If nothing else you can just do exaggerated makeup looks.”
“Sounds good to me,” Annie said. While Pam sort of cocked her head and considered if this was the best course of action.
“Lee and Sam are getting the Photobooth first, if you get bored or overwhelmed we’ll swap you guys for the Dunk Tank. But what we really need are hecklers, and I think these two assholes would be best for the job.” You gestured to Dean and Kevin, the two devils over your shoulders.
“You know there are easier ways to see me with my shirt off,” Dean murmured, but didn’t argue with his assignment.
You turned and looked up at him, your reflection shining back at you in his sunglasses, which only made you more defensive. “If I wanted to sell skin, I’d send Sam over there first. But just for that, you’re booked all night. Happy chafing, Dean-o.”
Kevin cackled. “She just pwned you so bad!”
“Shut up, Kevin,” you and Dean said at the same time.
You tried to see if Dean had just been teasing, but your annoyance and curiosity were short lived when Bobby walked up and took the envelope of lanyards out of your grip, and started handing them out.
Somewhere beyond the entrance and registration booths a megaphone sounded, gathering everyone together for the pictures you requested and a quick information session.
The carnival was scheduled from four to nine, hitting the afterschool and afterwork crowds, but still reasonable for a weekday. Even in Vegas, locals had normal schedules most of the time. You took turns with the SAFE House’s media director taking pictures and gesturing people into position. Carefully you had them frame the band, Annie, Alice and the rest of the board in varying shots of size and distance. You should have brought a real camera, but your phone would have to make due for this event. There were over fifty people volunteering in addition to the security team. And every one of them was smiling at you, it was infectious.
It was going to be a good night.
You patrolled the grounds, gathering pictures of the band at their different booths in various poses and levels of embarrassment. Dean was the first one in the water and once he sunk, the crowd went nuts. His line snaked around the Fun House and back towards the Port-o-Potties. 
Kevin had more success heckling Dean than those throwing at his target, but he, too, was drenched before long. It only added to the care-free atmosphere. Even though you knew Dean would have paid a pretty penny to be the one tossing balls in Kevin’s direction himself.
Sam and Lee started off pretty stiff with the Photo Booth, but once a group of preschoolers busted out the feather boas and other accessories, they caved like a house of cards. Neither man could deny kids, especially ones that might have been hurt at some point in their young lives, so they turned up the charm and silliness and had everyone in stitches before they took their dinner break.
Pamela and Annie had the quietest station. It was rather amusing, and a little surreal, that round after round of kids waited in line, picked out their designs, and sat still for the whole process before their parents, guardians, or grandparents recognized Annie Hawkins as the artist behind the butterflies or dragons now at their sides.
Pamela’s entire being screamed rockstar or badass. But as the drummer of the band, she was the least known by name, which never seemed to bother her. No, her confidence was unique in that it was a genuine, god-given, lack of shame. Something you had envied for a long time. So when only a handful of people asked for her picture along with her creations, she didn’t bat an eye. She just winked at the kids as they went about their nights and waved.
By nightfall, the crowd had reached capacity. The sounds of the various rides and games were constant and the bright lights kept the area surveyable. However, the temperature started to drop and the Dunk Tanks themselves weren’t well lit, which equated to Kevin and Dean’s station beginning to lose some of its luster. 
“Okay! Let’s see what you got! Come on folks— this is for a great cause!” Kevin spouted.
“Freezing my nuts off of here! Hey big guy, think you could dunk me?”
You stage whispered, “this is a family event— keep your flirting to your own time!”
“Har-har!” Dean mock laughed.
You took another picture, but your flash really wasn’t the best with the Fun House lights offsetting it. Dean was dunked again and you asked Max over the walkie if you could end the line. It was a little after eight at night and between the cooler night air and the remaining people waiting, they deserved to see the finish line. 
After a few seconds, you got permission to send Benny and Jesse to curtail new customers, “yeah, okay. We’ll start closing up those stations first, ease out of the night.”
You texted Bobby to start warming up the bus before making your way through the crowd to let the rest of the team know to wrap it up. Sam and Lee actually were already closed up, their tent had been packed up and they just sat sipping on flat beer from the one kiosk with a liquor license. Annie and Pamela had turned into more of a selfie and autograph booth then a face painting stand, but no one seemed to mind. 
“We’ve got the all clear, meet at the bus in ten,” you let them know. Casually, you headed back to the Dunk Tanks to ensure the soggy bottom boys weren’t mobbed once they were back on solid ground.
Cesar, brilliant man that he was, showed up with a pair of fleece blankets from the bus just as the final set of balls were handed to Benny and Jesse. You grinned at him in gratitude, but had to film the final dunks for prosperity’s sake. 
“Come on Benny! Let ‘im have it!” you bellowed as the head roadie wound up.
Jesse immediately sent Kevin into the depths, forfeiting the remaining two throws, and letting his husband help the smaller man off the platform and into a blanket.
Benny missed the first two balls, which Dean was not going to let him live it down. “Oh, he’s on the ropes! Look he’s not gonna make it, I should just climb down. That blanket is a-calling to me!”
“Just shut your trap, will ya?” Benny muttered.
“Make me, big boy!”
“Does he always flirt when he’s nervous?” you asked, knowing full well it was being recorded.
“Nah, darlin’. He’s showboating. He only flirts like this to make up for something.”
“Oh yeah? What am I making up for Benny? Cuz your aim is the only thing lacking here!”
With movie magic precision, Benny sank Dean on his last throw. The remaining crowd erupted and you scanned the area before sneaking closer to get Dean’s grumpy face as he crawled out of the tank and down the ladder.
“About time!” He called over his shoulder before Cesar could wrap him up too. Crouched over and shivering, Dean grinned for the camera before you hit the stop button on the video. Everyone laughed and joked while Dean and Kevin tried to dry off. After gathering their hats, phones, wallets, and socks and shoes, everyone left for the parking lot and the bus back to the Strip and the hotel.
You stopped at the entrance, dropped off the walkie talkie and your lanyards with Max’s crew. You made your way across the parking lot to the corner that Bobby had claimed for the bus, turning on your notifications for the first time all night. It was going to be a long night of scrolling and posting, but it was a good kind of busy to be.
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The bass pulsed through the amps and across the floor, like an omniscient earthquake. You felt the heat from the stage effects across your skin. Pamela was taking the end of A Reaper’s Offering and taking over for her solo. The lights dimmed along the edge of the stage and everything focused on her. You felt the buzz of an incoming message on your hip from the walkie, but you couldn’t hear a single word.
“There she goes!” Dean rumbled somewhere amongst the shadows. The crowd responded then hushed itself just as quickly, awe-inspired.
Charlie has so much more at her disposal in this set up and she used everything she could to empathize the epicness of Pamela’s prowess, each drum was focused by its own color light. Pamela kept Charlie on her toes as she hopped from one to another, sometimes hitting three or four at a time. It was mesmerizing.
Your voice was hoarse already and still you screamed as she ramped it up to the big finale. Even in the wing off stage, you couldn’t hear yourself over the racing beat.
Lee whistled with two fingers in his mouth, shrill and celebratory. And still Pamela rocked on.
Sam slid down his E string, pulsing beneath her. You noticed how the others drifted back into position, four more measures and Kevin joined in. As the notes blended together Pamela pulled back, like a band of horses behind well-worn reins. 
“Lead the way, Pammy!” Dean broke the spell and Pamela thumped into a familiar opening.
They weren’t stopping and slowing down for Vegas. ‘Abandon All Hope’ was left out of the first night’s setlist and the suggestive ‘Twigs and Twine’ swapped in instead. If you had to bet, ‘Brother’s Keeper’ wasn’t going to be featured either. And you were right, instead they played ‘Give Me My Ax’ for Lee to completely annihilate.
Charlie dropped the lights on them as Dean finished ‘Not Mine’ and the crowd did not stop for a full five minutes. You felt like you were tethered to a comet, soaring and burning alongside those brighter than you could ever hope to be.
The encores flew by and SPS joined them on stage, bowing and waving and blowing kisses to the insatiable masses. You knew the venue had photographers in the pit and along the box seats, but you couldn’t wait to get your hands on some fan shots. This was a show banners and websites were made of, raw and glistening.
Everyone descended the stage and flooded the wing you were occupying. The moment Dean’s eyes caught yours, his entire face changed and you both went to each other. Unthinking, two magnets across the mess of stagehands and band members just as he bent down to grab you into a hug, you hesitated, feeling unseen eyes in the upper levels.
You grabbed his elbow and drew him in further into the belly of backstage.
“What’s up?” Dean’s face was worried now.
“Nothing, just didn’t want somebody to see us.”
Dean’s brow pinched and he sighed, but stayed at your side. “How was it? Have fun?!”
You rolled your eyes. “I think I’m as sweaty as you are!”
“Well, I’m gonna hit the dressing room. If you need a shirt, I’ve got extra. Because there’s no way we’re stopping soon. Those high rollers ain’t seen nothing like the Winchesters in a hot minute.”
“Fine! But I’m capping you at 50k for the night, young man. Somebody has got to rein you in, especially since Jimmy isn’t on retainer anymore.”
“Ugh! Well, we’ll see about that.” Dean winked and threw his arm over your shoulder and walked you both to the pandemonium that was the dressing room.
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You were very careful while out with the band to stay on the vertical side of inebriation. It was equal parts fear of embarrassing yourself and fear of losing control of one or more of the band. After Dean and Cas’ explosion in Chicago last spring, you rarely mixed substances, especially while somewhere as heavily monitored as Vegas.
A little No Doz and a side of vodka and tonic would carry you most of the night. If nothing got too crazy. Eventually, you’d snag a cigarette, but casino-hopping would have to wait. Dean was on a roll, literally.
Dice in theory was an easy game. The tables with all the Pass and Don’t Pass bet bullshit made Craps hard for you to follow, especially when you were too busy keeping an eye on everyone. Madison and Sam were getting handsy at a Blackjack Table. Pam had found her machine for the night and was racking up a nice total with just penny slots. While taking shots of whiskey in stunning regularity.
Lee and Dean were both rolling dice, but the tables faced the opposite direction and you were almost certain one or both of them were trying to hustle somebody. The house always won, but sometimes people got cocky and they thought these cornfed boys from Nebraska were easy prey. It was fun to watch.
If nerve wracking.
Dean’s eyes danced over his dice, everyone gathered held their breath as the dealer called out the victory. Dean jumped up, punched the air, and crowed with abandon. He was untouchable in his brilliance. It made something inside you shiver. Sometimes you forgot he was real.
“Alright, time to head out!” Dean decided, gathering his chips and heading to the teller line to cash out. You nodded to the rest of the band, with an annoyed eye roll from Pamela, but everyone followed suit. Benny and the Chief had drawn straws for that night’s detail, which meant Jesse and Cesar would have your backs the following night. It still felt weird to be Tiny and Bela-less, but it was also one less thing for you to keep track of.
The crowds outside of Cesar’s Palace were full of tourists as you stepped back out onto the strip. A rush of waiting photographers gravitated to your group the second Sam’s head cleared the exit. Fucking Sasquatch was too easy to spot.
“Guys! Fantastic show tonight!”
“Dean! Dean! Where’s Bela? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, huh?”
“Pamela! Lee! Are you guys back together? Will we see another Vegas wedding from you two?”
“Sam! Who’s the lucky lady?”
Everyone ignored them the best you could, keeping your heads down and letting Benny hold them off.
“There he is! The coward has returned!” A nasally voice made its way through the chaos and Dean stopped in his tracks. You dropped back and tried to drag him forward, while ignoring the jeers from the other paps. 
“That’s a good girl, follow your mommy. Don’t want to get left behind,” the voice said senselessly.
“Dean?” you said, nerves dialed up to eleven.
Dean shook his head and scanned the crowd until he spotted a cameraless, beady-eyed face. “Benny! Keep that fucker away from us,” Dean yelled as he about-faced and took the group in a different direction. Benny fell back and stepped up to the taller creep, clearly making a point of starting a conversation as the other paps scrambled to keep up with you.
Dean dragged you and Pam by the wrists, keeping you at his sides until he decided you were in the clear outside the next stop. You had no idea who that guy was. After twenty minutes, Benny finally caught up with you guys and something in his eyes told you it wasn’t over.
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Tagging:
@deans-spinster-witch
@mrswhozeewhatsis
@cosicas-cuquis
@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like
@suckitands33
@ladysparkles78
@deans-baby-momma
@stoneyggirl2
@sassy-pelican
@leigh70
@globetrotter28
@winharry
@lastactiontricia
@rockhoochie
@brightlilith
@coldhearted93
@djs8891
@beautiful-places-blog
@n-o-p-e-never
@spxideyver
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so a second article has hit the da fandom and i'm in the part of the "this is genuinely so disappointing i'm considering not actually preordering/playing on release". i'm sure i'll come to terms with it and still get it but this really has been such a blow to my sheer enthusiasm that is like...incredible really for me as a fan invested in this franchise for over a decade to put me (and others) so low lmao
(under a cut bc it got stupidly long, a cookie if you read all of it)
one of the big "reasons" i've seen parroted by the fandom and the justification from the devs is (paraphrasing) you're in the north and all of these major decisions are in the south, which is frankly, stupid? sure, the choices of the divine wouldn't matter too much (if the circles are disbanded or not, for example) but the divine choice itself, should matter? the throne of ferelden? orlais??? these are major characters!
whoever is the sitting ruler of ferelden, regardless of the choice, has obv, lived through a blight not 20 some odd years prior. so one could imagine they would be invested in this, you know, double blight is going on and would like to help or help for their country? given the fact one of the last of the two archdemon prisons is canonly within ferelden!! marketing has also started the blight has spread across thedas, so one would think the current world leaders would be supporting or at least looking to the group seemingly working on stopping the blight. but i guess not since it's not a choice.
even setting aside the lore and plot significance of the majority of choices, even if it truly did not matter, you can say the exact same for choices within dai itself, however the devs knew the desire to have that impact + fan service, even minor, still superseded lore and plot significance. the hof letter and mentions by their romance partner is clearly fan service (since tbh i doubt leliana or morrigan would willingly talk about their partner themselves) but it was also telling you, the player, where your mc was. another example is there is no impact who the sitting king of orzammar is, but the game still mentions in a codex the consequences of that choice, even if the anvil was kept or not in ambient dialogue.
these and many more mattered, not in a world shaping way, but to tell you, the player, yes you played in this world and here's the acknowledgement of it, thank you. i didn't need to decide the fate of the world to enjoy leliana talking about my warden or varric supporting templars because my hawke did, because it still felt like i mattered, that yes this is a world i changed, even in a small way, that i lived in it.
and they removed all of that.
like, hell it was even a good way to "check-in" in choices and characters without dedicating entire plot beats to them! the epilogue for a non-divine!romanced leliana heavily implies she and the warden are still doing their own things but meeting up when hey can. that aside the cure? the fucking cure??? did they find it? did they share it with the other wardens? was it suppressed? the other members of the inquisition were invested in stopping solas, what about them? since you are literally going to their turf, is dorian, josephine, isabela, and even bull okay? is zevran or fenris going to be ignored? fenris had a whole comic about him!
the only way i can take this is being told to no longer be invested in previous material, even material leading up to this game. even if i know that's not really the truth, it really feels that way.
i don't even like the excuse for getting newbies into the series, because, well, dai did that fine WITH returning characters and overall plots lol? there's a loss of some context and dai itself had writing flaws with this method, but it did show you could have both returning and new players work fine, and not alienate said new players despite it being the 3rd game.
speaking of dai, why bother making the choices so endgame linear if they wouldn't of even mattered? why no matter your choice of divine, another group rises up to oppose her? why have the grey wardens going quiet and possibly on the brink of civil war, exiled or no? i had assumed at the time the bottlenecking was future proofing to create less variables, and i guess i was wrong since there are no more variables lol!
i'm genuinely not sure what they truly thought would be the reaction, given they are still trying to pull returning players via the marketing? like. varric, harding, morrigan returning, the focus on the grey wardens as a group (and likely why davrin gets such a spotlight) are all indications for returning players. fuck even solas, no matter what you feel about him, is a returning npc! to resolve his plot!!!
i never truly believed we would see big huge cameos, i did expect the divine, those who live in the north, but otherwise simple codex entries or letters if anything.
but to have.......nothing? be left with nothing? burns.
i do mean this completely honestly: what is the point of investing myself, my time, my money, hell even just interest in this series anymore? without the impact of previous games (or a better lore reason, such as a longer timeskip than 5 fucking years since the last dlc) then this is your run of the mill rpg with better writing than most, but that's all it'd really have. i didn't fully play or get into the series because of the decisions carrying over, but it sure as fuck kept me and others coming back. if this is the norm going forward past da4 then well, might as well pick any other rpg series.
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crazylittlejester · 2 days
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Hey hey hey you should talk about your blorbos
YOURE SO RIGHT MAJOR THANKS FOR ENABLING ME >:)
I’ve talked a lot about Wars today I think so I’ll yap about Time because he is ALSO my special guy and I like yapping
(All of this is gonna be my headcanons/interpretations/how I write him, also my bad for spelling mistakes or if this is incoherent)
I feel like Time is a very complicated character who isn’t either the perfect stoic leader nor the crazy little gremlin, but something perfectly in between. I don’t think leading comes naturally to him at all, he’s doing an okay job, I mean no one’s died so far /j and his age and life experience makes him more likely to be listened to and respected, but I don’t think he’s perfect leader material. He’s a bit awkward and unsure, and yeah he’s got just as much information as the rest of ‘em do so he’s not really at an advantage. I wouldn’t say he’s COMPLETELY in over his head but I’m sure he’s had more than a few moments where he’s had to pinch the bridge of his nose and ask himself how on earth he wound up in this position. He’s not TRYING to be the group dad, but some of the younger ones kinda view him that way because he really does care about them all and he’s a safe person to go to
I’ve definitely yapped about this before but I hc he definitely gets overstimulated by the others sometimes. Him vs Wind and their polar opposite sensory issues is a fun thing to mess with in writing because I know Wind is the kid who struggles to sit still and everything is going so so fast for him all the time, it’s all very go go go go go and when he’s moving and yapping at light speed past Time who’s going through the mental equivalent of realizing the wheels on your bike are going faster than the pedals and you need to break or you’ll crash, it doesn’t end very well. Time is autistic to me, and while I think he’s higher support needs than say, Warriors, because he was a bit quiet and weird as a kid he just kinda got written off as odd and different and in HIS mind he thinks society overwhelms him so much because he grew up in the woods where any time he got overstimulated he could just walk off and get some space. Nature is comforting to him it helps him calm down so he can regulate himself again so if you stuck him in a city for long periods of time he wouldn’t do too hot. Also with him being autistic I think his facial expressions and voice can be quite flat at times. It takes more EXTREME emotions before you can see/hear them from him
I also hc that since he was a growing kid putting those masks on all the time and changing his body around so much it SERIOUSLY took a toll on him and his body is fairly loosely held together. He has a lot of chronic pain and very easily dislocates his hips and shoulders
ALSO I DUNNO WHAT THE ACTUAL THING WITH HIS EYE IS, BUT I HC HIS WHITE EYE IS GLASS. It’s not just that he can’t see out of it, it ain’t there. And the scar on his face is pretty deep and makes it difficult at times to move that side
THANKS FOR ENABLING MEEEE
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roxiestranger19 · 3 days
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OBX 4 PREDICTIONS
hello only probably like 2 people are gonna see this but I gotta get these thoughts out of my head. My predictions for OBX4!!! (this is mainly gonna be about JJ and Jiara because they’re my favorite)
JJ focused season finally! He’s been my favorite character from day 1 and i’m so glad that there’s hopefully gonna be more of him this season. It looks promising from the trailer but who knows.
JJ AND KIARA!!! Yall im so excited for them to finally be together. All im asking for is one kiss in good lighting and it looks like we’ll get it.
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This scene specifically has me screaming and kicking my feet already.
On the topic of jiara i think the writers are gonna make them go through everything in the book. Between Kies parents to JJs dad potentially coming back to jjs impulsivity in general.
3) This leads me to my next point on how i think the season is gonna go in terms of Jiara. In the first couple episodes i think we’re gonna rewind to the 18 month time jump and finally see them together and see them doing all the normal couple shit and it’s gonna be beautiful and wonderful. Hopefully we’ll see how they support each other through their parent drama, mainly kies.
Then I think they’re going to either get in a fight or break up whenever JJ starts being really impulsive with the money like we saw in the trailer. I also think this is where Luke’s gonna come in if he does make an appearance. I think Luke is gonna guilt JJ into giving him money and JJs gonna come to some agreement with him. JJs either gonna not tell kie about it and it’s gonna cause a blowup when she inevitably does find out or she’s gonna know from the beginning and advise JJ not to help Luke but he does it anyway. This is gonna go back to the self sabotaging topics from season 3 and how JJ just can’t realize that his dad is a piece of shit and Kies gonna give him the ultimatum of either her or his dad which he’s then not gonna be able to choose.
If Luke isn’t the reason for a Jiara fight then I believe it will be because of his impulsivity with his life and the money. We saw in season 3 that JJ is willing to sacrifice himself for the good of the group and that’s where the dirt bike racing is gonna come in along with gambling and betting the money. (Bonus points if someone tells him “you’re just like your dad”) This is the point that I feel has the strongest amount of evidence because in the teaser we saw the races and JJ and John Bs conversation on how they have everything to lose now. We also know from the trailer that JJ spent the last of their money so he feels the need to earn it all back himself in the fastest way possible which would be betting on winning the race. Also if Rafe is his competition this is more reason for him to bet everything on the race. I’m gonna guess he does not win the race which is then why they agreed to take on the black beard case.
This then brings us up to date after the 18 month time jump to the ceremony and my previous reasons for Jiara fighting would check out with why JJ and Kie were being so awkward at the ceremony.
Anyways JJ is gonna kinda take the lead with the case because again, he feels like he owes it to the rest of the group since he spent the last of their money and/or gambled it away. He also might think that this could win kiara back although that most likely won’t be the case since all kie wants is for JJ to realize that he matters and she loves him no matter what he has or doesn’t have.
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I think that this scene is gonna be Kie explaining these things to JJ. Also as much as i want this scene to be full Jiara lovey dovey steamy shit, i don’t think that will be the case. I actually would be just as happy if this was a “there was only one bed” trope because the rest of the pogues are coupled off and who knows maybe this will lead to a kiss or cute cuddling moment, either way i’ll be happy.
I think that the rest of the season will be filled with angst and tension from JJ and Kie because they clearly are obsessed with each other and can’t just turn off their feelings. I think this will be way more interesting than if they stayed coupled up all season because their whole relationship is fiery banter and let’s face it, John B and Sarah’s relationship is boring compared to Jiara because there’s no drama or fire. Also think about all the protective JJ moments we can get from this especially the scuba scene?! Or when it comes to Rafe. We saw in the teaser that JJ punches Rafe with Kiara in the background. Plus with them “supposed” to be broken up or fighting, but unable to stay away from each other both internally and externally bc everyone else in the group is paired together, we’re gonna get a bit of “forbidden romance” and longing looks and jealousy and tension galore which is gonna make every scene with them together electric. I have no idea how their relationship is gonna end up at the end of the season but i hope they’ll be back at where they were at the beginning during the time jump.
4) In terms of the ending and the other bits and pieces i honestly have no idea where it’s gonna end. I want to say they win and solve the blackbeard case but they have a pretty bad track record with that. Also depending on how many more seasons the show has left is a big component in this. I don’t think the show could go past a fifth season. Also don’t know where the scenes with JJ breaking windows and destroying things fits in. It appears to be in the OBX but who knows.Living for those moments though. this is probably another reason why Jiara breaks up. Could have to do with Rage and Topper or his dad but i have no idea. Maybe Barry is coming for him because JJ did steal from him and Barry used to sell to Luke.
5) Rafe and Topper
don’t have a single clue how they’re gonna fit into this after the 18month time jump. We only really saw them in the OBX or at the bike race. I guess there’s potential for them wanting to get in on the blackbeard case but i don’t really see it tbh. I’m guessing they’re gonna have a separate plot from the pogues or it’s just gonna be slightly related through sarah or something.
6) THE BOMB Here are my different guesses for what this could mean.
JJ dies. this seems to be what everyone thinks but i really don’t see this happening. i don’t think Rudy hates OBX as much as everyone thinks he does i think he just gets caught at the wrong times and everyone reads into it. If they do write him off though i will never forgive them it literally wouldn’t make sense it would destroy me. and it better be a damn good death and be actually really sole crushing and good writing. giving jj a good death would be the least they can do if they choose to go this.
JJ and Kie break up. As i said before i actually think this would make sense for them but i do think it would come to a shock to many people hence them saying that a “bomb is gonna drop on them”
Luke comes back. Again like i said this is pretty likely especially since there’s a leaked picture with luke and JJ in it. In terms of it having huge effects on Jiara, this depends on JJs decisions.
JJs mom. Maybe he suddenly figures out a way to find her or something else i literally have no idea
Rafe and Kiara. Can’t see kiara cheating on JJ. Maybe we finally get to see what happened during kies kook year. Don’t see how that would affect Jiara now though.
Kies parents. Might’ve had more of an impact on their relationship during the 18months but i can’t imagine that’s the reason for something blowing up between them after that since they don’t care about their opinion
time for my really crazy theories
pregnancy. kie getting pregnant would be a bomb. don’t imagine the writers doing this because it’s just not that type of show but it would make things interesting. especially if she finds out while they’re broken up or fighting, it would add a lot more tension and jj would be a lot more protective of her.
Luke and Anna. in season 2 luke mentions something about knowing anna. Always thought that was an interesting point. Maybe they had something going on in high school and when JJ and Kie figure that out if kinda deters them and makes them question a lot. idk these are crazy.
jj and sarah share a mom. always liked this theory. think it has possibility but very unlikely. don’t think this would relate to the plot very much or impact Jiara.
anyways that is all. If you read all the way through this i appreciate you.
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Humbly here to request my weekly sentences :)
🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️ I am SO intrigued by this idea
YAY!
45 for 🧟:
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“It looked like a singular flashlight,” Maddie explains. 
“Maybe it’s just someone looking around,” Hen says. 
Because she hopes. Because she worries about the alternative. Because she needs for there not to be a threat to her son.
“Right, yeah,” Maddie nods. “Like a scavenger. Or a traveler. I’ve been there.”
“We don’t know,” Bobby decides. “And we’re not going to panic until we do. A handful of us can go scouting tomorrow.”
Hen is almost certain that includes her. Good. She’ll make sure Karen stays behind with Denny, where it’s safe. 
“Sounds like a plan,” Karen says. 
“I’ll take the first stakeout shift,” Bobby announces.
“I’ll join you,” Athena offers. 
“I appreciate that,” Bobby replies. 
And that’s that. It’s settled. They have a plan. 
Having a plan always makes Hen feel better. Not totally better, but less bad. The worst is being in a predicament and not knowing what next move to make. At least this isn’t that. Yet. 
But, still… Hen would be lying if she said she gets much sleep that night. 
September 8th, 2018
Denny is overflowing with joy in the morning. A few days of playing with boys his own age and he’s pretty much descended into being a total rascal. But compared to a child that only had adults for company and seemed a bit too old for his age, Hen will take a bit of  mischief and silliness any day. 
“What if something terrible happens?” Hen asks her wife quietly as they get ready for the day. “Denny is finally getting to be a normal kid.”
“I don’t know if this is normal,” Karen says, looking across the room to where Denny and Christopher are playing Connect 4. “But, yeah… I know. I can’t stop thinking, Eddie left his kid here. He trusted Maddie and all of us. Now what if when he gets back…”
God, Hen hadn’t even considered that. 
“I hope they get back soon,” Hen mumbles. “We could use numbers and weapons on our side, just in case.”
---
60 for ❄️:
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Basically, Eddie can’t be blamed for any of this. He’s free of guilt. He didn’t mean to… Well, do anything. 
Really, all he wanted to do was be less of a fucking mess. 
i.
“I think group therapy would benefit you,” Frank says, one session in late June. 
Christopher is still gone and Gerrard is still captain and life still pretty much sucks. Every day just feels like an endless loop of fucking shit. 
“You firing me, Frank?” Eddie asks. “Took you longer than expected, actually.”
Eddie’s been doing that a lot lately. The whole sarcasm thing. More than usual. And not just to Frank. He’s even begun to make tiny, biting comments in Buck’s direction. Which is completely unfair of him because all Buck is doing is supporting him. Just… Well, sometimes Eddie doesn’t know what else to say when… When things are brought up. 
Frank smiles patiently. “I think group therapy would benefit you, in addition to our sessions together.”
Eddie blinks. “Twice the amount of therapy? Extra people? I don’t know.”
Frank nods. “Yeah, it’s not most people’s favorite idea at first. But the feedback is usually pretty good.”
“Why would I need a group?” Eddie asks. “These problems… They’re pretty specific to me.”
Though, if Frank can point him in the direction of a support group for people who have encountered eerie clones of their dead spouses, Eddie will shut his damn mouth and get going. If this is a recurring thing for people, that’s just insane. Eddie will gladly join that class action lawsuit against god or the universe or whatever Buck would interpret it as. 
“Not all of what we’ve talked about is specific to you, Eddie,” Frank says. “A lot of people struggle with-”
“But isn’t everything with Chris and Kim and all that the most pressing thing?” Eddie interrupts. “That’s what I need to solve first.”
“It all helps, Eddie. We’ve talked about this. You being in a better, more open and accepting place with yourself? That will help with the rest.”
Eddie groans a little. It all sounds so counterintuitive. Even though Eddie knows he’s probably right. Why should he get to work on accepting and loving himself, when the consequences of his actions are still hurting his son? Keeping him away from home? He shouldn’t get to be happy right now. 
But the thing is, Eddie made a promise. To Buck, first. The night Christopher left. More than that, though, to himself. He’s going to trust the process. Therapy. The whole nine yards. He’s not going to let this destroy him. 
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lunar-years · 4 months
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Future RoyJamieKeeley fostering a slightly older child out of a bad situation :) actually something that can be sooo personal :)
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backpackingspace · 2 months
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How does one even go about having feelings about escaping being murdered?
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annachum · 1 year
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I can totally see, in Loki series, other Sigyn variants in tow be doing whatever they can to help 616! Sigyn to heal from abuse from 616! Loki once they know what 616! Sigyn been through ( and it's HORRIFYING )
After all 616! Sigyn been through, SHE NEEDS IT
Some more things about the Sigyn Variant support group :
. Look, 616! Sigyn defo needs a CHUNK of therapy from those other Sigyn variants over abuse from 616! Loki
. Classic! Sigyn is all like, ' Dear, I don't even understand WHY you even married that monster. My Loki is many things but he won't treat me THAT abysmally. '
616! Sigyn :.....I sometimes ask myself the same thing as I FINALLY killed him.
. MCU!Sigyn : If I were you I'd definitely kill that monster on the spot
616! Sigyn : I sometimes wish I have such a courage as you have then!
. Eventually Sigyn tells Loki about 616! Sigyn and 616! Loki
. Loki definitely is disgusted by 616! Loki and feels bad about 616! Sigyn
. Loki : I'm sorry but WHY treat someone who is loyal and sweet to you in such an abysmal way? That is absurd, even by my standards
Sigyn : Luckily you do have a heart, deep down, unlike that MONGREL
Loki : I deeply respect and support what you are trying to do, dear. * kisses Sigyn on the forehead *
Sigyn : * smiles and blushes * It's the least I can do, dear. She may be a variant of me, but NO WOMAN should ever go through such horrors.
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artificialcats · 5 months
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oglegoggle · 10 months
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I’m stressed by my work schedule. Thankfully I get paid on Friday and can hopefully deal with the speeding ticket issue. I know my dearest friend is also stressed by their work schedule. I feel so distant from them. I want to spend time with them and do activities with them in the evenings when they get home from work but they’re usually more interested in playing video games or staring at the internet than actively engaging with me. I had brought up to them that I feel distant from them and they said they’re trying to distance from me so it’ll hurt less when I leave in a few weeks. It… was an emotionally confusing response, like why did they ask me to stay longer if they’re just going to distance from me? I feel stuck in a place where I’m desperately trying to connect with someone I care very dearly for and like they want to connect with me but just can’t, doesn’t want me to go despite knowing that they can’t be present in my life the way I need. I kinda feel like my brain is being ripped in half again. I hope that things will be easier when their work schedule lightens up. But just the same I don’t quite know how to handle the growing stress of my own work schedule when I don’t even really want to be here where I increasingly feel ignored. The ambient sounds of the city stress me. The grinding gears of capitalism stress me. The long work hours and irregular schedule that doesn’t respect the one fucking day of the week I requested to always have off stresses me. I want so much to be out in the woods again. I stay because of them. I would stay as long as they want me to. But I just wish they would act like they actually want to spend time with me if they want me to stay.
#this is goggles#autism continues to make me feel like I’m trapped in a glass bubble#where I desperately want to connect with the world around me but can’t#I’m charming and fun and kind and intelligent and interesting and helpful#I am a well liked person but I just can’t quite feel integrated with those around me#I reflect upon the trans support group the other night when I had asked about dating tips and everyone said to use the internet#and I just don’t jive with the internet as much as I used to#it actively makes me feel more distant from others not more connected#like I want to live somewhere with shitty to no internet service again#it legitimately forced the people around me to actively engage in meaningful fun activities not just staring at rectangles all the time#I’m so tired of staring at rectangles I want to cook by the fire and do sports and play games and make art and build things and snuggle#I want to feel human and I want to be with other humans#I want to love and be loved in return#why do I repeatedly get super attached to people who are too broken and skittish to love?#I’m so tired. I want to go to Washington. I hope that I’ll find what I need there.#I mean I hoped I would in Wyoming and I did not. I hoped I would in California and I did not. I hoped I would in Oklahoma and I did not.#I really wonder if I ever really will find someplace that is gentle on me and I feel loved and integrated with the community#I desperately hope so. I’m so tired of being an outsider.
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mars-ipan · 10 months
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ohh my brother’s healing ;v;
#tagging this as#marzivents#bc it’s kinda personal#but. i think i’ve mentioned once or twice that my brother fell into that youtube alpha male ‘self help’ bullshit a few years ago#and my whole family has been trying so hard to help him out of it#he was the target audience. cishet white dude with autism that’s always made him feel outcasted#so he fell headlong into it#i never loved him any less (he’s my brother we’re closer than anyone else) but it’s hard to watch someone you love go down that rabbithole#but since starting college he’s been questioning that stuff more and more#and we just had a conversation in the family group chat where he’s flat out saying he thinks he fell for nihilistic bullshit#and how it makes him feel like he’ll never be able to belong#and he wants to stop feeling like that#and i’m so so fucking proud of him.#he described it as a mental virus. said it’d probably take a while for him to ‘get better’. which i believe#but the fact that he’s decided he wants to ‘get better’ from it is such a big step#and i am so happy for him. i can’t wait to see him be happy with himself#now i gotta support him. i always have but it’s more important now than ever#he needs to know that he’s loved and i will not hesitate to let him know that he will always belong#and that if the world isn’t built for him then fuck it.#he can build his own#GOD i’m so proud of him. i’m so so proud of him#i’m like. actually crying happy tears about it. i am so overjoyed for him
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wrecking · 1 year
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i love my friends and family and support network but i'm not gonna lie i have ended up with some glaring missing spots in it and i'm so afraid of reaching out to new people that i'm just kinda resigning myself to figuring it out all by myself lol
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cutearose · 2 years
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okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for
#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help#so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track#n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all#i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone#but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement#i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past#i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired#i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them#bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant#my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip#especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all#but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me#but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn#but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap#posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public#i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this#n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway#n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me#i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point#idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway#like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff#these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help#i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help#love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao#anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.
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