#where is my wife.

[jackelated]

Rolling all over the floor licking the walls chewing on my fingers scraping at my door pulling out my hair rocking in a ball screaming and crying and throwing up shaking bouncing off the walls dying

[stewy]

[cryptocism]

that half-blank, half-apocalyptic look

"i can b ur angle or yuor devil" etc etc "get a man who can do both" etc etc

obsessed with this vamp i think he should get to do whatever he wants forever

[petroglyphy]

theres gonna be more adventure time content what if i puked blood on pendleton's front porch

[inkedberries]

if any one of you missed me it's because i've been playing hades game nonstop since a month ago and there have been shown no signs of stopping as of yet i love my silly boys

[crsssie]

husband - professor!simon riley x professor!reader

Every now and then, Simon gets a student who doesn’t seem to get it past their skull that he’s happily married and not looking for a side chick or mistress.

He can usually tell in the first handful of classes, brow raised as they ask him to visit office hours, shirt peeking a little too low, smile a little too uncanny for his taste. He finds that typically as long as he plays uninterested and talk more about his wife, most of them learn to back down.

Now, occasionally, he gets a student who just doesn’t back down.

In those cases, he entertains the office hours, forcing you to stay back and lounge on the couch when they visit, extra affectionate with you when they walk in, ring on his finger extra polished and your matching one visible when you work.

You find it hilarious when you reach for his tea, lips around his straw as you continue to work on your research, drinking up the way his student’s eye twitches at his blatant displays of affection. You’re his “beloved” when the student walks in, and his “one and only” when they’re almost out of hearing range. You get a kiss when you walk him to class, and you peek into his class so much more to drop off drinks as long as the student doesn’t back down.

He refuses to hold an office hour with the student if you’re not available to hang around. He’d much rather be called a shitty professor than a shitty husband.

He can find another job. Not another you.

[pinacoladamatata]

The Dread Wolf's Heart...

"Where I am going is terrible"

"It won't be terrible if you're with me"

[chrispypapas]

he cant stop

text insp

[kodasea]

Melting

[wasyago]

tried to remember how to draw etho while the computer was on instead of doing important stuff ™

who lost their anime boy and where is my silly canadian...

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met

[pokeberry5]

i finished resolve and i love it sm ;-; i'm planning to go through and redraw some of my favorite moments, so i'll probably be posting these in batches. stay tuned

edit: next batch ; also adventures

i can't believe we got crossdressing in an ace attorney game. i love that the entire court keeps talking about how handsome ryuutaro is

what would we do without susato.

[marlenacantswim]

i'm pretty sure the moment i truly fell in love with lassiter as a character was when he casually and effortlessly talked himself into the potentiality of shooting a cat. during a conversation with his boss. after she'd called him into her office specifically because he discharges his firearm too often. "i would probably just fire a warning shot to make my point. it's really a field decision, i can't commit to it at this juncture" babygirl disrespectfully and lovingly what the actual fuck is wrong with you.

[yourlocalabomination]

So please pay attention, attention!

[maccaccino]

where is my wife

Amazon review on this Morrow edition of "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett I found this morning that left me laughing in tears right from the title.

... Actually, in hindsight, having seen the ineffable divorce™️ of Season 2, the fact that the only thing left on the cover is his glass of wine makes me so sad. It's like Crowley, having now been through all that, has left his glass of wine in the bookshop and is refusing to come back since Aziraphale is gone. Muriel doesn't really want to touch what Crowley left in the hopes he will be back soon and maybe still want his glass of "whine", whatever that is. He seemed sad last time they saw him, so that's probably what they meant by "whine".

.... Wait a minute though, did Aziraphale write this review?!? "WHERE IS MY WIFE?" ?!?!?

Okay it's time to tag him, this has gone off the rails and so have I. @neil-gaiman please explain. Thank you. (Love your work, actually. But also... What is going on here.)

Update, not even 10 hours after I originally posted this: Neil himself liked the post. I'm freaking out a normal amount about it.

PS: here's a lil thank you post for all the notes I'm getting, holy hell!!!

[maxedes]

between lewis downplaying their whole relationship on international tv & his sleep paralysis demon winning his fourth wdc, has anyone checked up on nico rosberg yet?