#on the table in the damn bookshop

[maccaccino]

where is my wife

Amazon review on this Morrow edition of "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett I found this morning that left me laughing in tears right from the title.

... Actually, in hindsight, having seen the ineffable divorce™️ of Season 2, the fact that the only thing left on the cover is his glass of wine makes me so sad. It's like Crowley, having now been through all that, has left his glass of wine in the bookshop and is refusing to come back since Aziraphale is gone. Muriel doesn't really want to touch what Crowley left in the hopes he will be back soon and maybe still want his glass of "whine", whatever that is. He seemed sad last time they saw him, so that's probably what they meant by "whine".

.... Wait a minute though, did Aziraphale write this review?!? "WHERE IS MY WIFE?" ?!?!?

Okay it's time to tag him, this has gone off the rails and so have I. @neil-gaiman please explain. Thank you. (Love your work, actually. But also... What is going on here.)

Update, not even 10 hours after I originally posted this: Neil himself liked the post. I'm freaking out a normal amount about it.

PS: here's a lil thank you post for all the notes I'm getting, holy hell!!!

[sanguineterrain]

tw kidnapped reader, reader is forced to be jason's companion/spouse. arranged marriage elements, i guess. knight au

jason todd is a soldier first. he's never been anything but.

he's the kingdom's best. the king is quite proud of his best soldier. his violent mercenary who's as loyal as they come. he's fantastic.

but he's been at war too long. the king knows this, and understands he must do something to help his best soldier adjust to life back home if he wants him to continue to fight. jason's a prized racehorse, but he gets skittish, moody. the nightmares don't help. what do you do to help a racehorse? you get it a goat to calm it down. so, the king gets his soldier a "goat" to soothe him: you.

you're perfect! you're perfect because you're just a commoner, in no way a threat to anyone, and completely ordinary. no one will miss you. but. but. jason met you once in town and lingers outside the bookshop you work at every time he comes home from battle. he never goes in. suddenly, you're no longer ordinary.

so months after jason's return, you're summoned by his majesty. you are the best match for his best soldier, he says, and that's that. they leave you in jason's cottage that's miles from the kingdom. you're given a tea that knocks you out cold, but that's just a precaution! there's no need to be afraid. the accompanying maid even pretties you up a bit, not that you need it.

and jason comes home to you, the lovely bookshop worker he's watched for forever. he promised himself he would be good; he wouldn't approach you and scare you with his awful scars or his growly voice. he knows soldiers are rough. he swore he'd only watch you for your safety, because you're so damn nice, too nice for this kingdom, and he doesn't want a flower like you to be crushed.

and what a flower you are, laying in his bed, beautiful and unmarred and sweet. you're in delicate nightwear, with a ribbon around your neck, like you're a present to unwrap. jason immediately feels sick. he can't do this. he can't keep you, be responsible for you. why would his king do this to you? to him?

he hovers over you for what feels like ages, watching your chest go up and down as you sleep. he's still in his armor, dirty from training. he should go bathe. he should sharpen his weapons. above all, he should not touch you.

and then you awaken. you take a deep breath and your eyes crack open. jason stumbles backward and nearly knocks over the nightstand. you watch him, confused and somewhat wary.

this hulking soldier almost falls over apologizing, cheeks flaming red. he hightails it out of his own room, and you don't see him for the rest of the night.

you fall asleep in his bed. in the morning, there's still no trace of him, save for a plate of crumbly bread and cheese and a mug of tea on the table nearby.

you wonder if you're a gift or a curse.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

You can call me babe...not just for the weekend | Conrad Fisher x Reader

Advent calendar day seven: Tis the damn season

Summary: You and Conrad explore a road you never did before when come back to your hometown for the holidays

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

Bundled in your warm coat and scarf, you walked down the streets of Boston with a cup of hot coffee in your right hand, looking for last minute presents while drinking in the feeling of home. Around you, the shops were adorned with twinkling holiday lights, painting a very different picture than in Los Angeles’s December. Especially with the light layers of snow all over the city. 

Although you loved living in Los Angeles, there was nothing better than a snow-y Christmas. 

You missed it the past two years. 

The faint scent of fresh fir and pine coming from the Christmas tree market at the end of the street brought a nostalgic smile to your lips. When you were little, your dad would let you pick a tree — which was always way too big for the living room.  

You entered the bookshop, browsing around for a possible novel to read during your vacation when your eyes caught a familiar face between the aisles. 

‘’Conrad?’’

Hearing his name, the brunet lifted his gaze. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. You. In Boston. 

‘’Hi,’’ he said, completely struck. 

You walked over to him, pausing your shopping, and Conrad put down the book he was holding. 

‘’I haven’t seen you in a while. It’s good to see you.’’ 

He had changed — grown — since you last saw him. His hair was a bit longer at the back and his jawline was sharper, but he still had that navy sweater he wore to every Christmas party at school. It has reindeers and snowflakes on it. 

‘’I just got here last night,’’ he explained, giving you a small smile that fell soon after, as if regretting it. ‘’I didn't know you were coming this Christmas.’’ 

‘’I was beginning to miss the snow,’’ you said, then took a sip of your coffee. ‘’How’s your mom?’’ 

Conrad was relieved for a conversation shifter. ‘’She’s great.’’ He smiled again. ‘’We’re hosting a massive Christmas dinner this year and, you know her, she went all out. She turned our house into a place that looks like it came straight from a cheesy Hallmark holiday movie.’’

A chuckle spilled from your lips. Susannah always loved holidays — 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas. She tended to go a bit overboard with the decorations, but she always prepared the most delicious feasts for her guests. Although she was no Martha Stewart, her dinner table was one for the magazines. 

‘’Did your dad put the big star at the top of the house? I couldn’t see it from my window last night.’’

‘’Eh, no.. He didn’t…’’ You could sense that Conrad was holding something back, something he didn’t know how to tell you.  ‘’Dad moved out last summer. He…’’ There was a short pause before he spilled the truth, having never said it out loud before. ‘’He cheated on my mom.’’ 

Your stomach sank and your heart ached for Susannah. You never would have taken Mr. Fisher for a cheater, but you can never really know someone.

‘’I’m sorry.’’

‘’Why for? You’re not the one who had an affair with his secretary,’’ Conrad said, clearly still pissed about the situation and resenting his dad. Getting a silence from you, Conrad took back his words. ‘’I should not have said that…’’

You shook your head. ‘’It’s okay,’’ you assured him. ‘’Is Jeremiah coming for the holidays? He’s in college now, right?’’ 

‘’Yeah. Him and Belly both go to Finch, so they are driving together tonight. Steven should get here tomorrow.’’

Steven. You hadn’t heard of him in a while. The last time you spoke to him was to congratulate him for getting into Princeton. The big news was the reason why you had changed his name for Princeton boy on your phone. It was a nod to one of your favorite movies — A Cinderella story.

A smile drew on your lips. ‘’Seems like everyone is back in town this year.’’ 

‘’Like the old days,’’ Conrad confirmed, his smile tighter than yours.

⁂

The second time you ran into one of the Fisher brothers, you were getting lunch by yourself at your old favorite café and typing a few lines for your next novel. Christmas chaos had started at home and writing was impossible with your mother’s holiday music blasting while she was working on tomorrow’s dinner. 

You heard him before you saw him. 

‘’Oh my god, am I seeing right?’’ 

You raised your head, recognizing the dark blond curls spilling from under his hat that just entered the café. He skipped the counter and went straight for your table, pulling you in for a hug.

‘’I can’t believe you’re here! It’s been so long,’’ Jeremiah said, his smile so big you would think he had won a trip to Cabo. 

You talked for a few minutes, catching up on small things, but he unfortunately couldn’t stay long as he was meeting with Belly to go Christmas shopping. You wished them good luck, the shopping malls likely chaotic forty-eight hours before Christmas. 

‘’Before I go, there’s a huge New Year party at Este’ house next week,’’ Jeremiah informed, fixing his jacket and grabbing his coffee from the table. ‘’Everyone is gonna be there. You should come.’’

It was kind of him to invite you, but you were hesitant. 

‘’I haven’t spoken to anyone since moving across the country, I doubt they’ll want me there…’’ 

Jeremiah tilted his head, giving you a look. ‘’Don’t say that. I’m sure someone will be interested in hearing about all of your celebrity friends. If you tell anyone you’ve met Ariana Grande in a restaurant, they’ll want to be best friends.’’ 

You shook your head. Of course he would mention Ariana Grande. The two of you used to sing her music in the car and have midnight release parties every time a new album came out. 

‘’I don’t have any celebrity friends to gossip about. And if I did, I would be a bad friend for gossiping about them at a party in my hometown.’’ 

⁂

A Hallmark holiday rom-com was playing on TV when you received a text from Conrad. His contact picture was a selfie of you and him at the beach in Cousins. You visited him for the 4th of July the summer before you parted ways to different colleges. 

From Conrad: Do you want to drive around and look at Christmas lights together?

A smile drew across your face. It was an old tradition from when you were kids. The two of you would walk around the neighborhood on the first night of Christmas break and look at all the decorated houses. You always looked forward to that special night. Then, when Conrad got his license, you broadened your itinerary to other neighborhoods and added hot chocolates and stolen holiday desserts from your respective houses to the tradition. 

You didn’t bother changing out of your pajamas, adding a sweater over your shirt and slipping on your boots before heading out. 

‘’Where’s your coat?’’ Conrad asked when you opened the passenger door and got in.

‘’We’re staying in the car, I don’t need it,’’ you replied, closing the door and pulling your seatbelt.

Conrad sighed and turned the heater higher. 

‘’I’m gonna be honest, I was surprised to get a text from you. I got the impression that you weren't as pleased to see me as I was yesterday.’’

‘’No. It wasn’t that,’’ he assured, taking his eyes off the road to look at you briefly. ‘’To me, it was unlikely that you would come to Boston again since your life is in Los Angeles now. I was just shocked to see you in town.’’ 

 A teasing smile curled on your face. ‘’Aw, you were starstruck by me?’’

‘’I didn't say starstruck…’’ Conrad protested, shaking his head as you twisted his words around.  

The conversation was quickly dropped, something massive and green catching your attention on your side of the street. ‘’Oh, look on my left, they dressed up their 50 feet skeleton in a Grinch costume!’’ 

⁂

‘’What are you doing here?’’ your mother asked, her arms crossed as swatched you in the kitchen making yourself a cup of tea on New Year’s eve, eyeing you with a mixture of disbelief and surprise.

You gave her a confused look, a teaspoon in one hand and a teabag dangling from the other. ‘’I’m on vacation… Mom, did you have too much eggnog or something?’’ 

‘’I mean, what are you doing at home on New Year’s eve? Don’t you have a party to go to? I’m sure your old friends missed you.’’

Letting out a sigh, you resumed preparing your tea, pouring hot water into the cup. ‘’Jeremiah invited me, but I don’t think I’m gonna be going. We can watch Ryan Seacrest’s Rockin New Year together—’’ 

Your mother leaned against the kitchen counter, a faint frown on her face. ‘’You should go. No twenty-year-old should stay at home on New Year’s eve,’’ she insisted, glancing at the clock on the wall. ‘’Is Conrad gonna be there?’’ 

You shrugged, stirring the tea. ‘’I don’t know.’’

She pointed at your cup. ‘’Give me that tea and get ready for that party.’’ 

⁂

Leave it to you to be overdressed at a small town New Year party. Since moving to Los Angeles, you had to level up to their standards of fashion, but now you were sticking out like a sore thumb in this suburban crowd.

You walked further into the house, trying to find familiar faces, but you didn’t recognize half of them. They must have recognized you by the sour look they gave you. You couldn’t tell if it was because of your dress or because they didn’t like that you were at the party.  You tried to ignore them. There was a reason you left town and it wasn’t only for bigger career opportunities. 

‘’Happy new year!’’ Belly greeted over the loud music, grinning excitedly with a red cup in her hand and a pair of ‘2024’ gold glasses on her face. She pulled you in a hug, giving you a better welcome than your old classmates. She held you at arm’s length, looking you up and down. ‘’Wow, that dress looks so good. It’s like a mirrorball.’’ 

You smiled and thanked her for the compliment. ‘’You don’t think it’s too much?’’ 

She shook her head. ‘’It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed,’’ she assured you, quoting Susannah. ‘’Come. Steven has been talking about you non-stop since Jeremiah told him you were in town and coming to the party.’’ Belly gave the boys a glance on the other side of the room, both talking by the windows, then pulled you through the sea of people. 

‘’There she is,’’ Steven exclaimed when seeing you approach, being the last of the group to see you. 

You pulled him in a short hug. ‘’Hey, Steven.’’ 

Seeing your empty hands, Jeremiah offered to get you a drink. He enumerated the small selection available in Este’s kitchen, but your attention was drawn away when you caught Conrad sitting with a couple of friends on the couches with a beer in hand. Your eyes lingered on him more than necessary. You couldn’t help it, he looked so handsome in a button up and sweater. 

‘’So, which one is going to be?’’ Jeremiah said, still waiting for your choice of drink.

As the night went on, you lost sight of him. You and Belly laughed while the boys did karaoke, duetting musicals and acing every song. Parties in Los Angeles were not as laid back. Everyone would have booed if someone had pulled out the karaoke machine. 

Steven was in the middle of an impressive solo when you caught Conrad heading outside to the balcony. You glanced at your friends, then back at the sliding door, and excused yourself to the bathroom. You came to the party in hopes to see him, you couldn’t not talk to him.

As you stepped onto the balcony, the cool night air enveloped you, causing goosebumps to rise on your barely covered skin. Even with tights, that dress was not approved for the winter chill. Trying to ignore the high chances of catching a cold, you walked up to Conrad, who was leaning against the railing, gazing at the illuminated neighborhood by himself.

‘’I’ve been looking for you,’’ you said, your voice breaking the silence. 

‘’Me?’’

You hummed, joining him in his gazing. ‘’Aren't you cold out here?’’ 

‘’No, not really.’’ He shifted his eyes to you, noticing the absence of a coat over your shoulders. ‘’You sure are cold.’’ 

You chuckled, rubbing your arms in a futile attempt to generate warmth. ‘’Maybe a little.’’

Without asking, Conrad pulled you closer, wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulders. ‘’Better?’’ 

You leaned into his side, a smile gracing your lips as the woodsy undertones of his cologne enveloped your senses with every breath. ‘’Better.’’ 

‘’How was your Christmas?’’ he asked.

‘’Great.’’ Your answer came across as cold, but it wasn’t intentional. ‘’Did Susannah make you wear matching Christmas sweaters again?’’

Conrad groaned, confirming that she did. ‘’She got us matching pajama bottoms too, this year. It’s horrendous.’’

‘’I’m sure you looked cute— that it was cute,’’ you quickly corrected. 

‘’I assure you, it was not,’’ Conrad denied, shaking his head at the memories. ‘’Mom put reindeer ears on Jeremiah’s head for the family portrait and I had a Santa hat.’’ 

You could totally imagine Conrad in a Santa hat and Christmas pajamas. 

‘’Conrad?’’ He hummed, waiting for you to continue. ‘’Do you ever think of us? The ‘us’ before I moved to California?’’ 

The two of you were very close since third grade, but once you moved to California, you got radio silence from Conrad. No texts. No phone calls. Nothing. 

‘’What do you mean?’’ 

You distanced yourself from him, preferring to be cold rather than close to someone who was playing fool. ‘’You know what I mean.’’

‘’You’re going back to L.A. in a couple of days. It doesn’t matter…’’ 

‘’It does!’’ you finally said, a mix of emotions coating your voice. ‘’I miss us. I miss us everyday, and after these past days, I don’t think I can go back to not speaking to you. I’m asking you one last time, Conrad, if you miss us too, please say it so we can stop acting like stupid teenagers and face what this is like adults.’’ 

Inside the house, you could hear people loudly counting down to midnight, meaning there wasn’t much time left. 

Talking about feelings was always difficult with Conrad. He preferred to bottle them and be miserable instead of facing them. 

‘’Of course I do,’’ he admitted with a rare vulnerability. ‘’No one matters more to me than you.’’

You didn’t hear the countdown reaching its end when you leaned up and pressed your lips against his, finally exploring the road untraveled by. You thought it would feel strange to cross the friendship line, but it wasn’t. It was easy and comfortable. 

Conrad pulled you back to him with a hand on the small of your back, the sequins of your dress scratching his skin. You wrapped your arms around his neck, as if you were scared he would break the kiss too soon or just…run.

When the kiss did break, Conrad didn’t run. He was smiling down at you as cheers roared from inside the house, the clock having struck midnight. 

‘’It almost doesn’t feel real,’’ you said, looking into his beautiful eyes. 

Conrad leaned down to kiss you again. ‘’How about now?’’ He had an ever present smile on his lips, the kind of smile that couldn’t be broken by anything. The kind of smile that was from pure happiness. 

Starting to feel too cold, the two of you headed back inside to grab your coat and leave. As you were maneuvering through the people, Jeremiah didn’t fail to notice Conrad’s hand holding yours. He elbowed Belly, who squealed excitedly.

—

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[dellalyra]

JUJUTSU KAISEN - Where do they take you on your first date?

A/N: pixie attempts headcanons.

N A N A M I

Nanami is definitely bringing you to dinner. It’s classic, timeless and tried and tested. He��ll pick a nice restaurant, not pretentious or obnoxious and very cosy - with good food. He’s showing up to pick you up with a simple bouquet of flowers, after dinner perhaps a stroll in the nearest park or he will walk you home.

G E T O

I feel like Geto is a coffee shop date guy. Simple but casual. He’ll show up with that damn smirk in a black oversized sweatshirt and pay for both your coffees. It’s just easy with him, there’s no airs or graces and god do you have fun. He leans over the table to wipe some foam from your lower lip and then licks said foam off his own thumb, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

G O J O

The most gorgeous little French patisserie, all soft colours and macarons and cream puff pastries. He’d feeding you little pastries the whole time and you don’t think you’ve ever seen such delight in a person’s eyes or laughed as much in your life. Neither of you want the date to be over, so it carries over into buying take home desserts and sitting on the balcony of his penthouse apartment, giggling as he manoeuvres you into his lap and you battle it out on Mario Kart.

M E G U M I

Bookshop. Don’t @ me on this. It’s cute, he has two hot chocolates in hand as he picks you up and then you stroll around the large bookshop picking up books to recommend each other, you end up buying one for the other to read. Before you part ways, you grip his scarf and pull his head down to your lips and kiss him gently and quickly.

“Bye, ‘Gumi.”

Adorable, he’s so blushy you might faint.

Y U U J I

ARCADE. He lets you win everything. Wins you 100 prizes and you’re following him around like he’s an excited puppy. He gets really excited because he wanted to show off so he decides to do just that by setting the record on the boxing machine. When the highest record lights and bells ring out he pulls you into his arms and spins you around and kisses you in a flurry of excitement. Seems shocked with himself when he sets you down, he goes to apologise but you just pull him to kiss you again.

C H O S O

Okay hear me out. The aquarium. He wouldn’t know really where to go so you suggest the aquarium, it’s one of your favourite places and you think he’d enjoy it. You have never seen anything sweeter than how enchanted he is by all the sea creatures, when you get to the rock pools and you can pick up starfish and other small animals he is so gentle with them you might just marry him then and there.

I N U M A K I

Talking isn’t his strong suit, for obvious reasons. So the cinema is perfect, he buys you both HUGE buckets of popcorn and then holds your hand or has his arm wrapped around your shoulders the whole film. He is so smooth and doesn’t need a word to do it. You go for milkshakes afterwards and giggle through text and sign language if you know it about whatever film you saw.

Y U U T A

The zoo. You both just wander around cooing over the animals or laughing at the silly things they do. If you pick up a silly animal hat then he will definitely wear it because the smile you give him could convince him the sky was yellow. He has a little picnic for you both to share on one of the sweet picnic benches together - full of your favourites that he had asked around to find out.

N O B A R A

Eh? Shopping.

M A K I

A hike is something I can definitely see her enjoying as a first date, it’s easy to find things to talk about on a date - it’s active so she’s still happy and it’s something you both enjoy doing - when you need a hand jumping a small stream, she’s taking your hand to balance your jump, “Atta girl.”

N O R I T O S H I

Escape room. No question.

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

The Fuck Up FINAL Chapter 6

Summary:  Bucky fucked up.  A few times.  Will his best friend ever be able to forgive him?

Warnings: language, smut, mentions of war, injury, pregnancy

Previous Chapter

Bucky unofficially moved in with Y/N that first week. He never slept at his parents’ house anymore, and moved almost all of his things over to her house. It wasn’t something they discussed, it was just assumed that he was staying. As Bucky started his retirement from the military he got a job at the local bookshop in the small town she lived in. Her income from the online company she worked for and the photography side business was enough to handle the bills by herself, but he wanted to contribute and make sure he was doing his part in providing what little he could outside of his military benefits.

They’d gotten into a routine, becoming the little family that he’d always dreamed of. Avi grew and his sweet personality started to shine through. Every day seemed like a celebration of some kind in Bucky’s mind. Avi’s first roll over, his first uncomplaining tummy time, his first word, his first stand, it all was cause for an announcement as his baby got stronger. His relationship with Y/N was slower and more intentional as they got to know each other in this new dynamic. After Avi’s first birthday Bucky felt like it was time to shoot his shot.

“Hey honey!” he called out as he got home.

“Hey!” she called back from the kitchen. He followed her voice and saw her cooking dinner as Avi was in the bouncer watching “Bluey” and kicking his legs frantically. The whole scene was so domestic, so wholesome, that he smiled widely as he walked over to Avi.

“Hey little man!” he greeted him. Avi turned to him and smiled, grunting and reaching his hands up for him. “Come here. Have you been good for Mama today?” Avi gurgled a response as Bucky picked him up and hugged him, kissing his cheek.

“He was great,” Y/N answered, turning to look at Bucky briefly before going back to the stove.

Bucky approached her and gave her a side hug and kissed her temple. “And how was your day?”

Y/N returned his side hug and squished Avi’s cheek before focusing on the pan in front of her. “It was alright. Got that big project finally done. If I don’t have to answer another email from that John dude again it will be a great day,” she said as she started plating the pasta dish she’d made.

“Ugh, John,” Bucky grumped as Avi made a noise. “Yeah, fuck John.”

“Buck!” Y/N slapped his arm. “Quit using grown up words in front of the baby!”

Bucky laughed as he moved away from her when she tried to swipe at him again. They all sat at the table and ate dinner, talking about their days and what was on the schedule coming up in the next week.

“What are you doing next Saturday?” Bucky asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Uh…nothing. Why?” Y/N asked, finishing her bite of food.

“Well, I may or may not have asked my parents to watch Avi that night,” he said, not looking at her.

Y/N’s eyes narrowed at him. “Okay?”

He then leaned forward on the table and looked at her. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

Y/N’s eyes widened, her eyebrows raising and a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “A date?” Bucky nodded. “You and me?” He nodded again, a smirk forming on his lips. She paused as she looked at him, her smile widening. “Yeah…okay.”

Bucky’s smirked deepened and he looked down at the table. “Awesome. Wear something comfy.”

A week later Bucky’s parents showed up to watch Avi. They shooed Bucky and Y/N out the door, shutting it firmly for good measure. “Jeez,” Y/N scoffed. “Well, where are you taking me, Buck?”

“The next town over,” Bucky said as he opened her passenger side car door for her. She got in and they drove off. After about 35 minutes of them talking he pulled up to a massage place.

“Oh my god,” Y/N sputtered as he helped her out of the car. “Is this a spa night?”

“Damn right,” Bucky replied, holding her hand and pulling her inside.

They were ushered into a room where they were given the run down of the couples package. When they were left alone Y/N turned to Bucky. “We’re going to get professional facials and massages, and then be left alone to…massage each other? What kind of massage place did you take us to?”

“The kind of place that believes in romance,” Bucky said, giving her a teasing look of looking taken aback. “Don’t you believe in romance?”

Y/N laughed at his affronted gaze. “Of course I do. This is just very romantic for a first date.”

“So you’re saying I have a chance at a second?” he leaned in, wiggling his eyebrows at her. She laughed again as the estheticians came in to start the facials.

Bucky had wanted a spa night for Y/N, but didn’t realize just how much she needed one until he heard all the sounds she made as they lay side by side on the tables getting the facials and massages. Her moans, groans, and whimpers were making him struggle to keep decency in front of his masseuse. When they were left alone with glasses of champagne after the couples massage they both sat up on their respective tables.

“God, that was good,” Y/N sighed as she stretched her legs and arms, holding the towel around her.

“Wasn’t it?” Bucky agreed as he kept a hold of his towel around his hips. He stood up to stretch as well and turned around to adjust the blanket on the table. When he did he heard a gasp behind him and looked at Y/N. She was staring at his back. He almost forgot about the scars from the shrapnel, and quickly turned back and sat so she couldn’t see them.

“Buck…” she stood and moved towards him. “What…?”

Bucky sighed as he let her come to him and she swerved around to see his back, her fingers softly running along one of the scars. “I’m fine, Y/N.” She looked at his face, her eyes starting to well up with tears. “Oh honey, no,” he reached up and cupped her cheek. “Seriously, I’m fine. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. I should have…I’m sorry,” he rubbed her cheek with his thumb, swiping an errant tear away.

“What happened?” Y/N said, her free hand now resting on his chest.

Bucky breathed deeply. “One of my guys stepped on a landmine.” Y/N’s eyes blinked rapidly to stop any more tears from falling, and she bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling. “It threw me and Steve, we were both hit with shrapnel. Two of our teammates were killed. It took two surgeries but they got it all out and I was healing by the time I got home,” he finished, and moved his hand from her face to her hand on his chest. “I’m okay. I should have told you…” he swallowed and looked away from her.

Y/N took her hand away from his chest and adjusted her towel tightly around her so she could use both hands. She stepped between his legs and reached up to cradle his face in her hands to make him look at her. She looked at him for a moment, then pulled him into a hug. She held his head against her chest and her hands wandered to run through his hair that had finally grown back out to the length she liked, massaged his neck and his shoulders, and skimmed lightly down his back, tracing the scars. Bucky accepted the embrace, tucking his face into her neck as she moved her hands, his fingers gripping the towel at her back. He felt her kiss the side of his head, then his cheek, then she moved his head back and started to kiss along his jawline.

Bucky’s eyes fluttered closed as she continued kissing his face. She kept narrowly missing his lips, driving him crazy with every pass. “You came home to me,” she murmured, her lips grazing his skin.

“I promised,” Bucky whispered back, his hands gripping her hips tightly. “You are my home, honey. Always have been.”

Y/N moved so her nose skimmed along his cheek, her breath fanning his face. “And you’ve always been mine.” Then she kissed him.

It was like their night together all over again. Her kiss felled the last wall of their friendship, and blasted his last shred of sanity. He kissed her back wildly, his hands pulling her against him as if he was afraid she’d disappear. It felt so right, predestined, predetermined, that they should be together sharing this moment. Then there was a knock at the door.

“Excuse me, Barnes couple? Your time is up!”

Y/N broke the kiss but didn’t move far, still holding Bucky’s face. He sighed loudly before clearing his throat. “Thank you, we’ll be out shortly!”

Y/N giggled, then briefly kissed him again. “It’s getting late, we should get home and relieve your parents.”

Bucky hung his head. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

After they got home and got Avi to sleep, Bucky entered Y/N’s room. She watched him as he slowly walked over to her. “Thank you for going out with me tonight.”

Y/N laughed and hugged him, looking up at him. “Thank you for the spa night. I really needed that.”

“You deserve it,” Bucky said seriously. “Can I take you out again?”

“Yes,” she said immediately. “I’d love that.”

“I feel like we’ve jumped a lot of steps,” Bucky laughed.

“We have. I already love you,” Y/N admitted, looking away and leaning her forehead against his chest, hiding her face.

Bucky’s heart felt like it could burst. “I’ve always loved you,” he admitted. He used his finger to lift her chin back up to look at him. “I love you, honey. I’m in love with you. You’re it for me.”

Y/N pulled back and laced her fingers into his hair, pulling him down so she could reach and kiss him. “You’re it for me.”

THE END

I hope y'all liked this one! I got a lot of comments on it being infuriating, which was great. Thank you for all the likes, comments, reblogs and follows! <3

[naomijoestar]

Risotto..... with a witch/wizard bestie... /platonic..........

Masterlist here <3

Yes……… I hope you enjoy <3 I tried my best so I hope this meets your expectations!

Risotto with a witch/wizard reader (platonic)

- Every morning, you and Risotto make your own brews—coffee for him and tea for you—in complete silence. It’s never awkward, he hands you sugar before you ask and you slide his mug over without looking up. It’s honestly sort of a routine that’s very comforting for the both of you, but neither would admit it

- Risotto is surprisingly willing to test out your experimental potions. He drinks them with a straight face, even when you know they taste like absolute death. The only time he broke was after drinking one that made his voice echo like he was in a cave. His only response? “…Never again.”

- On quiet evenings, the two of you sit together at the table: you enchanting small spell bags while Risotto mends his cloak or stitches up a new pouch for you. Sometimes, he’ll grumble about your messy stitches and grab the needle from you, fixing it with a precision that makes you wonder if he was a tailor in a past life

- Between his crows and your familiars, it’s a zoo whenever you hang out. The two of you have a running game: who can convince the crows to bring the weirdest “gift”? Risotto once won with a pack of male thongs, and you still can’t look at it without cracking up

- You suggested he add a touch of silver embroidery to his cape once, and now all his outfits have the most intricate metallic detailing. When you bring it up, he grunts and changes the subject, but you’ve definitely caught him eyeing one of your spell-enchanted cloaks for inspiration

- One of your experimental potions accidentally left Risotto with a faint sparkling aura for a full day. He was less than thrilled. “I look like a damn chandelier.” You teased him so much that day, only to find a glittery crow feather mysteriously tucked into your bag the next morning

- You drag him to antique bookshops all the time, searching for grimoires and rare spell books. He doesn’t complain, but he’s banned from one store after accidentally knocking over a whole shelf of books. You still laugh about it every time you walk by. “I don’t know why you still need my help; you’ve got magic for this.”

- Whenever Risotto goes on missions, you insist on giving him enchanted trinkets, like a charm that wards off angry badgers or a tiny bottle of “just-in-case” antidote. He acts like it’s ridiculous but never argues. One time, the badger charm actually came in handy, and you wouldn’t let him hear the end of it

- Whenever you animate objects to dance around the room, Risotto pretends to ignore it, but you’ve caught him being dragged into the chaos more than once. He has no rhythm, but there’s something hilarious about seeing a deadly assassin awkwardly slow dancing with a floating broom

- Risotto’s crows adore you and have started tattling on him. If he skips meals or pushes himself too hard, they come straight to you. You’ll show up at his door with food, and he’ll just glare at the birds perched on your shoulder. “You bribe them, don’t you?” You just grin as you shove the food into his hands

If you want anything fixed or added you can always message me!

If you enjoyed this make sure to check out my other posts, and if you’d like anything specific written for a jjba character/squad you can request it if my requests are open!

[innocentlymacabre]

DUE NORTH: VIGNETTES / 9

A cozy urban fantasy about two best friends who move to the pocket of eccentricity and magic that is Due North

Producing a knife from one of her jacket pockets, Alecia made a small, sharp cut in the packaging of one of the two, scooping up the pills before they could hit the ground. She crushed the edge of one of them and sucked on the produced powder, testing its strength and pocketing the rest.

“What? Still don’t think I’m good for it?”

“I don’t think you’re smart enough for it, J. Twice now you’ve been duped into bringing me candy. Not even the good kind. Ended up giving it away with meals at the diner both times.”

“Hey, twice in – shit, how long has it been? Whatever. Twice in however many years is still pretty damn good!” he protested.

“Yeah, well, I’d just like to make sure it’s not thrice. But yeah, you’re good for it this time.” She reached into another pocket and produced a wad of cash. Jasper took it with an exaggerated bow, Alecia’s response to which was to roll her eyes, and unloaded the two packages before closing the trunk and walking back to the driver’s seat.

“Fix that headlight, J,” Alecia called out. “Can’t count on me for light on your other routes.”

“Bye Alecia!” came the singsong reply as he sped off into the night.

↝✧↝

Berto, true to himself woke up well after noon. Bella, most untrue to herself, woke up even after him, having chosen to finish moving in after dinner the previous night. After a decidedly most undignified wake up, as Bella had so elegantly put it, Berto dragged the pair of them to a bookshop simply named Deluca’s. He raved about it the entire way there, claiming it was half the reason he moved to Due North at all.

Large glass double doors stood front and centre, opposite the canal that ran through the town. Small tables lined the two storefronts it occupied, its wonderfully comfortable light spilling out onto the pavement in front. Postcards hung from near invisible strings, each one unlike its neighbours, boasting fantastical narratives and landscapes dipping in and out of reality.

Overlapping scents floated around inside, books, new and old, mingling lively with fresh-baked cakes and pastries; the quietest music, soft around the edges, piggybacked on the aromas. Rows of books lined the front half of the store, some simply stacked on shelfs, some on painted carousels, others on platters hanging from the ceiling, and still other, ludicrously expensive ones, behind glass cases. The latter half boasted the most impressive patisserie either one of Berto or Bella had seen (“And I did a year in Paris!” Bella remarked). Lines of pastries, macaroons, puffs, breads, doughnuts, waffles, and more streaked down the enormous glass casing, leaving the two of them instantly famished, despite having eaten only half an hour ago.

Alia Deluca herself manned the counter, introducing herself proudly. It wasn’t arrogant pride, Berto noted silently, even though, looking around, she had every right to be. Rather, it was indulgent and her smile warm and welcoming, inviting you to enjoy with her.

Bella ordered a black coffee with a plain muffin and Berto, with a little more than a little difficulty, managed to ask for a strawberry tart and an iced coffee. Bella thought she glimpsed something vaguely bear-like in the kitchen while placing her order, but then kicked herself for making fun of someone’s body.

“Such a vanilla order,” Berto chided once they were seated. The sun was shining, a light breeze was blowing, and the riverbank glittered with fish merrily making their way about, so they took a table outside.

“What? Afraid I embarrassed you in front of your new little friend?”

“What?” Berto cried incredulously.

“Oh please, you could barely make it to the end of that order!”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he firmly negated, smiling slightly nonetheless.

Bella would have perhaps been less focused on teasing Berto if they had sat inside. For all the attention they spent on the bookshop itself, they had completely neglected the patrons, a mere glance at whom would have proved to be a rather useful introduction for the oncoming evening.

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[raz-writes-the-thing]

How about a Crowley x reader story (or it can be headcanons, whichever you prefer ♥️♥️) where the reader is a very emotional person, who cries and gets frustrated quite often, and Crowley is the person who’s there to comfort them. He’s basically their partner, confidante and protector all wrapped up in one.

Untitled Crowley x GN!Reader

Fluff/Comfort

Requests are: OPEN

Crowley knew humans were vulnerable. All those emotions God had inflicted them with. He had them too, of course, but he had never met a human with such volatile emotions as you. And there was the added bonus that Crowley had had six thousand years to understand them.

Or perhaps he had, but he hadn't felt for a human with such explosive emotions such as yourself in all his six thousand years of life on Earth.

So, when you knocked on his apartment door, frustrated as all Hell and ready to collapse into a puddle of tears, well- Crowley hadn't been ready for it per se, but he also wasn't necessarily unused to seeing you overwhelmed at the end of the day and needing some support.

"Oh," he grunts in surprise as you wrap your arms around him as soon as he opens the door. "Oh, dear, right- you alright, love?"

You sigh out a breath of relief as you feel his arms come up to wrap around you. He tuts comfortingly and rubs the top of your spine. You don't have to see his face to know that he's got his bottom lip stuck out in the way he always does when you're upset.

Crowley let you stand there for another few moments before pulling away to press a quick kiss to your forehead.

"Come on, then, darling. Out of the doorway."

He closes the door behind you, ushering you into the extremely minimalistic flat. You supposed you had better change that soon- though with the amount of time you both spent at the Bookshop, it probably didn't matter so much.

"Right- now, tell me then?"

You huff out a laugh at his straightforwardness. Crowley wasn't usually one to beat around the bush. Not with this, anyway. Other things, sure. But when it came to you unwinding or venting? Crowley knew you just needed to get right into the thick of it so you could move on to the next thing on the agenda.

He listened as you told him about your day. About all the frustrating and upsetting things that had happened to you. He nodded along and poured himself a glass of whiskey, setting himself down on his chair and gesturing for you to sit on the table in front of him, tips of your shoes brushing the rug underneath.

One dexterous hand reached out to pull your leg over the arm of his chair. "Mm- yes, well that does sound rather odd," he replied to you, setting his whiskey down so he could tug your shoe off- quickly followed by your sock. The feel of his fingers massaging into your tired feet had you interrupting your own story to let out a satisfied groan.

This, of course, made Crowley grin like nothing else, and after a moment, he pulled your other leg up to do the same. You continued, feeling mildly overwhelmed with the recount of a particularly upsetting thing a barista had said about you behind your back. Tears welled for a moment, and you sniffled quietly.

Crowley stopped his massage at once, shuffling forward in his seat to brush your cheek with his thumb. "Oh, come now, love. You know- well as I do, that isn't true." And if Crowley made a point to put that particular barista's information in the Books of the Damned down below, then that was just his own business, wasn’t it? You did, of course, notice the flash of anger in those snake's eyes. "They were probably just jealous of you."

You sniffed out a laugh and wiped the snot from your nose.

"Yeah, maybe," you replied, rolling your eyes. But you couldn't deny the little smile that pulled at your lips.

"Oh, there you are," he chuckled. "Knew that wouldn't take long. Too enamoured by my demonic charms, aren't you?" 

“You’d like to think so, wouldn’t you?” You replied, smile widening into a grin. Crowley downed the rest of his whiskey.

“Oh, I think I know so.” Crowley leaned forward even closer- close enough to feel his soft breath on your cheek. “In fact, I didn’t even have to Tempt you.” 

And, well, that there was the truth of it, wasn’t it? You had sought Crowley out on your own. Once he’d caught your attention, there was no going back. 

“Don’t play coy, love. We both know it’s true,” Crowley said softly, flitting his eyes down to your lips. It was barely another second before his lips were on yours, kissing you with such fervour that it took your breath away. 

He pulled away, nipping at your lip teasingly. 

“Right, then. Let’s get some food into you, Pet,” he said, giving your foot a comforting squeeze. “Aziraphale made scones. Never did get out of the habit of baking after lockdown.” 

You chuckled and hopped up from the table, following your Demon- and feeling much, much better than you had when you arrived.

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Found you

(A/N) My thought process writing this: Gets request: Fuck yeah! A Chishiya request! Thinks about it: Fuck, what do I write. Opens new page: Whatever, I'll just start. Reaches apartment: No smut, no smut, no smut. Reaches kitchen scene: Fuck it! Smut!

Also, this is eight word pages long, I might've went a bit overboard.

Pairing: Chishiya x Reader (no Y/N)

Warning: AiB stuff, smut

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.”

If anyone had been watching you for the past few minutes, they’d say that you were running for your life. Not that that’s not true. Your visa ran out today and you may have forgotten to keep an eye on time when you found yourself in your favorite bookshop, close to where you used to live. To be honest, who’s to blame you? Books? For free? As many as you want? Now that’s heaven.

Were your boyfriend there with you, he’d have laughed at your childish excitement when you realized that you could read as much as you wanted. But he would’ve also reminded you of the time and that you had somewhere to be. Damn, this… apocalypse or whatever was going on.

You followed the light through the streets until an apartment building became visible. You pushed yourself to run quicker and managed to cross the border of the game at what felt like the last second, almost crashing into two men. Thankfully, the short-haired one managed to catch you, before you either knocked both of them off their feet or faceplanted. Either one could have happened to be honest.

“Woah, you okay there?”

You looked up at the other man and tried to smile through the pain that was encompassing your lungs.

“Yeah…yeah. I-I don’t do…cardio.”

Your answer was interrupted by your panting, but at least it made the man smile.

“Me neither.”

The short-haired man agreed with his friend while chuckling. He kept his hand on your shoulder while you recovered from the exhaustion. The other man meanwhile, went and grabbed one of the phones off the table and handed it to you. The usual jingle came from its speakers while the camera scanned your face.

“Registration has closed. There is a total of 13 participants. The game will now commence.”

Another man approached your little group. He seemed confused and asked about the game and the world in general. As the long-haired man was about to explain it to the new man, his friend stopped him.

As your breathing had finally calmed down, you were about to speak up and explain the situation, but the familiar female voice, introducing the game, stopped you and the third man walked away.

“Difficulty, Five of Spades.”

The duo you’d met just now looked at each other confused.

“Spades means that it will be a physical game. You know, running, strength, all that jazz. The suit decided what kind of game it would be. Clubs means teamwork, Diamond means intelligence, and Spades means physical. Hearts is the worst one, all about betrayal. Better hope you never join one with your friends. Hearts games never end well.”

The two nodded, but before they could say anything, the female voice rang out again.

“Game is ‘Tag’. Rule. Avoid whoever is ‘it’.”

Confusion broke out among the participants, but you kept your focus on your phone, knowing that every information you’d get was important.

“Clear condition. Discover and touch the symbol hidden in one of the building’s rooms within the time limit. You clear the game when this objective is fulfilled. Time limit 20 minutes.”

You huff. That’s not a lot of time for a building with that many rooms. You glanced at some of your co-players. Many of them young, young enough at least to be of help. Or so you hoped.

“After twenty minutes, the time bomb hidden in the building will explode.”

Well, if that doesn’t motivate someone, then you don’t know what would.

Now that the rules and conditions were stated, everyone started to disperse. For a moment you considered staying with the two men, but ultimately decided against it. The group had to spread out to win this. So that’s what you did.

While most of the players decided to go to one of the upper floors, you thought you’d try your luck on one of the lower ones. You walked as quickly as you could without running until you hit a dead end. Good, that’s where you’d start. And all the while, you felt eyes on you.

“The game will now commence. The time limit is twenty minutes. Commence now.”

Without hesitation, you started, turning one doorknob after the other, hoping to end this game as quickly as possible. But it didn’t and before you knew it, shots rang through the night air. Out of instinct, you ducked, falling to your knees, before looking around.

“What the actual fuck.”

As soon as you were sure that you were not in immediate danger, you continued until you were done with your floor. But as you stood in front of the stairs leading up and down, you weren’t sure which direction to go.

That was until you heard the voice of the long-haired man.

“Everyone! He’s up here! Over here, he’s on the second level! He can’t see properly because of his mask! Tell us where he is if you see him, and let’s all look for the symbol!”

Fuck, second level. You hesitated again while you considered what to do next. But then a woman’s voice rang out, letting you know that it was safe to head to the second level since the killer was on the fourth one.

You continued, searching, letting the others know where the killer was, all while avoiding him. From time to time, you glanced at the phone, checking how much time was left. And it didn’t look good.

At that moment, you heard the long-haired man yell out that he needed help and that he found the symbol. You checked and realized you were on the other side of the apartment building and would never make it in time. Still, you started to run. You were one level above where the symbol was, when a jingle sounded from the phone, making you stop.

“Game cleared. Congratulations.”

A relieved sigh left your lips and you slumped against the nearest wall. You lived for another day.

While you were resting, you noticed the short-haired man walking up the stairs, and he was hurt.

“Hey, are you okay?”

He waved your concern off with a smile.

“Nothing I can’t handle. Have you seen my friend?”

You nod and tell him where you assume the man still is.

“Thanks.”

He hesitated before speaking again.

“Do you have somewhere to stay? If not, you could come with us.”

You shake your head with a smile and thank him, explaining that you have somewhere to stay. He nodded before taking his leave and searching for his friend. You decided to do the same. Take your leave, not search for his friend.

As you were walking down the front steps of the apartment building, a familiar voice stopped you.

“Found you.”

A quiet gasp escaped you as you realized who was standing behind you. You turned around, tears already gathering in your eyes.

“Chishiya.”

He smirked at you before opening his arms. You immediately rushed to him and threw your arms around his neck. He chuckled at your enthusiasm while pulling you closer to him.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

You pulled away slightly, grinning up at your boyfriend. He smiled back before leaning down to press his lips against yours. You melted against him, reciprocating the kiss. Too soon, Chishiya pulls back before cradling your face in his hands.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

You shake your head, smiling at him.

“I’m fine. What about you?”

He shakes his head as well, his eyes scanning your body for any kind of injury before sighing in relief and pressing his forehead against yours.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, love.”

You grinned and closed your eyes.

“Me too, Chi.”

The two of you stay like that for a few moments, before Chishiya pulls back and takes your hand.

“Where are you staying?”

“In our apartment. Felt wrong to go anywhere else.”

Chishiya nodded, thinking for a moment.

“Let’s go there for tonight, okay?”

You nodded and together you made your way through the city until you reached your apartment complex. Once there, you climbed the few floors until you reached the door to the apartment you shared before everything went to hell. You used your keys to open the door and let Chishiya in before closing and locking the door.

He took a few moments to look at the changes you’d made since everything happened. You’d moved the heavy couch that used to be in the living room, to the door, so that you could block it whenever you entered the apartment. You’d also used blankets and pillows to make a bed on the living room carpet. Chishiya frowned when he noticed that and turned to look at you.

“The…the bed felt too empty without you there.”

Your boyfriend immediately pulled you into a hug, apologizing.

“I should’ve looked for you again, every day, I am so sorry. I just…after I couldn’t find you the first day I’d been here, I hoped and convinced myself that you were not here. That you were safe.”

You were stunned.

“Chishiya…how long have you been here?”

He tensed under your touch before relaxing again.

“Too long. But I swear I checked if you were here. That’s the first thing I did when I arrived.”

You squeezed him tighter, burying your face in his neck.

“It’s okay, Chi. I believe you. And I only got here two weeks ago, there’s no way you could’ve known that.”

Chishiya nodded but continued to hold you tight for some time. You did the same, resting your head against his shoulder, relaxing in his hold. The two of you started gently swaying, making you giggle and Chishiya chuckle. It felt like back when everything was okay and he would come home after a long day at the hospital and sweep you off your feet to dance around the living room before you could object. Many dishes were burnt that way and many times you had to order takeout instead. But you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

After a few minutes, you pulled back to look at him, before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“Now, what are you in the mood for? Instant noodles, or…instant noodles?”

You pulled out of his embrace and walked to the kitchen, where you had set up a small gas stove, as well as canisters full of water and a few pots. Chishiya followed you chuckling, pressing his chest against your back and trapping you against the kitchen counter.

“Hm…I think I’m in the mood for something else completely.”

He started to trail kisses from your cheek to your shoulder and back up again. A shiver ran through you and you couldn’t help but press back against him. His breath ghosted your skin as he chuckled, his hands on your hips.

You turned to look at him and without hesitation, he hoisted you up and sat you down on the counter, standing between your open legs. You instantly leaned in and pressed your lips against his, pulling at the white jacket he was wearing, until it landed on the floor. His hands, which were placed on your hips, moved up and grabbed the hem of the t-shirt you were wearing and pulled it over your head, discarding it on the floor, somewhere behind himself.

Goosebumps erupted on your skin, as Chishiya’s finger trailed along your sides until they reached your bra. Instinctually, he reached back, but when he didn’t find a clasp, he broke the kiss for a second.

“Sport’s bra.”

Those two words were all you said, before pulling it over your head and throwing it behind Chishiya.

“Jesus fucking…”

His remark was broken by a low moan escaping his lips before he dove forward, lips wrapping around your left nipple. Your breath got caught in your throat at the sensation. Chishiya’s left hand left your hip and started playing with your right nipple as your fingers started to thread through and pull at his hair.

“Chishiya…”

Your pussy squeezed around nothing, making you whine. Chishiya pulled away from your chest and grinned at you.

“What do you need, love?”

You glared at his teasing, but when he thrust forward, giving you just a little bit of friction, another whine left your lips.

“You. Need you Shiya.”

He chuckled and dove in for another kiss. While his lips moved against yours, his hands found their way to your thighs and hoisted you up again. You squealed into the kiss in surprise and pulled away as you tightly wrapped your arms around Chishiya’s neck while he just chuckled and walked.

“Don’t worry, I won’t drop you.”

Right when he said that he loosened his grip on you and you squealed again as for a second it felt like he was indeed dropping you. Chishiya laughed at your reaction and continued walking towards your bedroom.

“Asshole.”

A slap on your ass forced a surprised yelp from your lips, but before you could say anything, you were flying through the air, before landing on your mattress. You bounced a few times, while Chishiya watched from the foot end, an adoring smile on his lips.

“You know, I love you, right?”

You finally stopped bouncing and looked up at your boyfriend, a soft smile on your lips.

“Come here, you idiot.”

His smile turned into a grin as he quickly crawled over you and reconnected your lips. While using one hand to keep his weight off of you, the other wandered down and started to pull at the hem of your sweatpants and panties. You quickly assisted him in getting rid of the offensive pieces of clothing, before you started pulling at his swim trunks, making him chuckle.

“Eager.”

You were about to insult him again, but his thumb rubbing small circles on your clit stopped you and instead, a moan escaped your lips, which were quickly sealed by your boyfriend’s. A few moments later two of his fingers started gently probing at your entrance before pushing inside. Your pussy squeezed down around them, bringing out the smug side of your boyfriend, who pulled away and smirked at you.

“Someone’s fucking nee-.”

You interrupted him.

“Shut up and fuck me already!”

You didn’t need to tell him twice, as he quickly got rid of the trunks and gave his cock a few lazy strokes, before positioning himself at your entrance.

“I don’t have a condom. Are you su-?”

“Chishiya!”

He took the queue and carefully started to ease his cock into your pulsing pussy, moaning at the feeling of you around him. He quickly started thrusting into you, hoisting your right leg up and over his shoulder to reach deeper. The new position caused his dick to drag over that soft spot inside you with every thrust, making you see stars.

It didn’t take long before you started to feel that familiar coil in your stomach and you reached up towards your boyfriend, not able to say anything.

“You close, love?”

You nooded vigourously.

“Yea, me too.”

He leaned down, pressing your right leg up to your chest, but you didn’t care as his lips connected with yours at the same time, his thumb returned to your clit. Within seconds you felt that coil snap as you came around your boyfriend.

A moan left Chishiya’s lips as your pussy kept squeezing him, until he came inside you, spilling his seed as deep as he could reach.

After a few steadying breaths, Chishiya wrapped an arm around your waist and rolled over, so that you were now laying on top of him. You were still panting, your eyes slowly closing. Feeling the sweat covered skin of your boyfriend underneath you and hearing his beating heart slowly coaxed you into a deep sleep.

As soon as Chishiya was sure you were asleep, he carefully pulled out of you and laid you down next to him. He rolled onto his side and watched you for a few moments, before pressing a gentle kiss against your forehead. With that, got to his feet and grabbed a towel, wetting it with the water from the kitchen, before he returned to you and carefully cleaned you up. After that, he quickly gathered all the pillows and blankets you had laid out on the living room and returned them to the bed, where he made sure you were comfortable, laying down beside you and gathering you in his arms.

He smiled as you instinctually moved closer to him, until you were practically laying on top of him again. A smile graced his lips as he pressed one more kiss to your forehead, before relaxing and closing his eyes, slowly falling asleep, three words leaving his lips before he was pulled under by sleep.

“I found you.”

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Alice in Borderland - Masterlist

[fangirlingalittletoohard]

Falling

Crowley has never been one for relationships. Neither have you. But when a meeting in your favourite Angel's bookshop leaves you both breathless, you might just allow yourselves to finally be loved.

Crowley x fem!reader

Use of y/n, dual perspective

Warnings: None! Crowley being an idiot xoxo

1,419 words

................................................................................................

Chapter 1

You sat curled up in an armchair, laptop balanced on your knees, fresh cup of tea steaming on the coffee table beside you as the rain drummed against the windows in your favourite spot to get some work done. You’d befriended Aziraphale months ago when you’d discovered his bookshop, which stocked so many beautiful and unique volumes that you couldn’t help but return multiple times a week. Eventually, you began to use the space to work, both you and Aziraphale providing quiet companionship to one another. You’d laughed at first when Aziraphale confessed that he was an Angel, believing him to be jesting as you so often did with one another. However, after much questioning (and many hours listening to his stories gathered over thousands of years of existence) you came to realise that his little quirks made sense for an other-worldly being and your friendship became even more dear to you. 

Tapping away at your keyboard as usual, you heard the little bell above the front door tinkle, signalling a customer. You didn’t look up, the appearance of a customer being nothing out of the ordinary, until something in the stranger’s voice as he greeted your friend stilled your fingers. He had marched over to Aziraphale’s desk, asserting in a low growl “Aziraphale, we have a problem. It’s…” His voice trailed off as he noticed the cease in the click of your fingers against your keyboard. You lifted your head to greet your friend’s guest, but words seemed to fail you as you gazed upon him. Tall, slender, slicked back red hair, dark sunglasses, and impeccably clad from head to toe in black. He was… well, he was gorgeous. 

~~~

Crowley forgot why he was angry. If he was honest, for a moment he couldn’t remember why he’d come to find Aziraphale. Hair nonchalantly pulled back out of your face, wide eyes, plump lips parted slightly, curves in all the places he liked them. He had taken many intimate partners over his thousands of years, but you were something entirely unique. Never had Crowley felt self-conscious before, but when your eyes met his, he was awfully aware of his arms. How did he usually stand? Surely his arms didn’t always feel this heavy and awkward? 

Thankfully, Aziraphale swooped in to his rescue. “Crowley, this is my dear friend [y/n]. [y/n], Crowley.”  “Pleasure.” Crowley murmured, his gaze never leaving yours. You smiled. Hell, Crowley swore it was the prettiest damn smile he had seen in his entire existence. 

~~~

“You had a problem?” You reminded, feeling your cheeks begin to heat up under his gaze. Despite standing across the room from you, his stare had you pinned to the chair, feeling as though he could see straight into your soul.  “A… Ah, yes! Aziraphale, I need to speak with you in private.” Crowley remembered, finally breaking eye contact and rushing your friend into the back room. 

You sat, fingers frozen above your keyboard, staring at the door Aziraphale and Crowley had just disappeared behind and let out a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding. You were a flirt. You loved to make people chase you and relished in their satisfaction when you finally gave them what they wanted. You loved a passionate fling that ended in fire. Rarely did anyone take your breath away quite like Crowley had in this very brief introduction. You wanted him. Badly. But something told you he was not the type to chase after a woman. You would have to change your approach. 

Just as you were resolving to lay your flirting on thick to ensure he knew what you wanted, the door to the back room flew open and Crowley marched out of the bookshop without so much as a glance in your direction. You sat dumbfounded, staring at the door swinging closed. Aziraphale hurried out of the back room, flustered. “Oh don’t mind Crowley. He’s not really a people person.” He apologised, punctuating the last two words with exaggerated bunny ears. 

“Is he… like you?” You asked, finally dragging your gaze away from the door and over to your friend.  “Yes. Well… sort of.” He replied, flipping distractedly through the pages of a large volume he was studying.  “Sort of?” You pressed. “He’s a Demon.” Aziraphale replied quietly.  “A Demon?” You asked incredulously, laughing a little. “As in, fallen Angel, lives in Hell kind of Demon?”  “Yes.” You stared at the Angel. You wouldn’t have believed him had you not already known all of the stories your friend had recounted to you. “Well, he only ever goes back to Hell reluctantly, but yes, he is a Demon.”  You were silent for a second, before thinking out loud, “I didn’t expect Demons to be so…” you struggled to find the most appropriate word, “pleasing to the eye.”  “They’re not all so…” he turned to face you, “attractive?” He tested. You blushed. Aziraphale opened his mouth to taunt, but you interjected, “not a word!” The Angel mimed zipping shut his mouth and turned back to his desk, stifling his giggle. 

~~~

Crowley returned to the bookshop almost daily. He would greet you, if you were there, with a curt nod of his head and a quick smirk, but couldn’t bring himself to talk more to you and it was frustrating him. Even worse, Aziraphale had noticed something was amiss. Crowley couldn’t blame him; he had visited the Angel’s bookshop more times in the past week than he had in the past year. 

“Spit it out Crowley, what’s going on with you?” Aziraphale asked after Crowley had slumped into your armchair with a huff one day when you weren’t there.  “Why would you think anything’s going on?” Crowley retorted sulkily. “You’re moping.”  “I don’t mope.” Crowley insisted, dramatically resting his elbow on the arm of the chair and dropping the side of his head to his hand. “What you are doing is the very definition of moping.” Aziraphale insisted. “And I think it has something to do with [y/n].”  “Why would it have anything to do with her? She’s not even here.” Crowley complained.  “Exactly.” Aziraphale observed, causing Crowley to huff. “You should ask her on a date. She would say yes, I think.”  “A date? I don’t date.” Crowley retorted.  “Court, wine and dine, whatever. Just take her out to dinner and get to know her. You’ll like her.”  “I don’t want to like her.” Crowley snapped. “Liking her is the issue.” “Ah,” Aziraphale sighed knowingly, irritating Crowley even further. He huffed and shot up out of the chair, beginning to pace around the bookshop.  “Liking people makes things too complicated. Feelings make things too complicated.” Crowley explained. “I don’t do complicated. I see someone attractive, I sleep with them a few times, then we part ways.” “It isn’t complicated when they like to in return.” Aziraphale advised. Crowley stopped his pacing suddenly. “She likes me too?” He asked. “Ah, well, I really shouldn’t…”  Crowley shot over to the Angel, whipping off his sunglasses and staring face-to-face with his friend, yellow eyes suddenly extremely serpent-like. “Angel, don’t torment me. Does she share these feelings.”  “Yes! Yes she does.” Aziraphale relented, slinking away from the demon as his pupils began to dilate again. 

~~~ 

You entered the bookshop and stopped in your tracks. The air felt electric, making your skin prickle. “[y/n]!” Aziraphale greeted, almost nervously, hurrying over to you and taking the laptop from under your arm.  “Is everything okay?” You asked cautiously, your eyes finally finding Crowley at the back of the shop. Aziraphale didn’t answer as Crowley turned and began to approach you. He stopped, so close to you that you could feel his body heat. His sunglasses were clutched in his hand, allowing you to see his eyes for the first time. They were unlike anything you had seen before, and you were mesmerised. Yellow-gold irises and serpent-like oval pupils gazed into your own eyes, causing your breath to catch in your throat.  “Would you join me for dinner this evening?” He asked quietly, the sultry growl in his voice making your stomach flip.  “I’d like that.” You replied softly, trying to conceal the smile that was tugging at the corners of your lips.  “I’ll pick you up at eight.” Crowley asserted, putting his sunglasses back on and striding out of the shop.  You stood in silence for a second before turning to Aziraphale. “He doesn’t know my address.” You stated.  “I’ll pass it on.” He replied with a smile. 

................................................................................................

chapter 2

[the-lost-girl-in-the-tardis]

A chance meeting.

(Aka I'm bored and messing about with ideas.)

The ninth Doctor.

Weeping Angels:

The bookshop is quiet this late in the day. Just shy of an hour before closing. Some patrons are muttering amongst themselves. Sometime to you to make their final purchases. Others begin to wrap up whatever they were doing on computers and laptops.

You hum to yourself as you check in books. Stacking them in the rolling cart to later be shelved. The dimly lit room is bathed in the red light of the setting sun. There is a comfortable warmth in the air. The last remainder of a warm summer day.

After a while you stand. Popping your back after having sat down in one spot for so long. You began directing the customers out. Wishing the regulars a good evening as they leave.

When the door bell chimes one last time you sigh. Flipping the open sign to close as you locked the door.

Silence. Save for the distant rumbling of cars and the howling dog.

You still had to clean up. Gathering bits of trash from people who couldn't see the clearly labeled trash can. You stacked coffee filters back up. Open a new container of tea. Made a note to buy more syrups and more creamer.

You began to hum to yourself again. Half mumbling the words to the Beatles Blackbirds as you swept.

"Take these broken wings and-" Youpaused. Your broom had hit something solid behind the curtain. The yellow straw curled around stone grey feet. You laid the broom against the wall.

Your fingers met the sun bleached blue curtains you hadn't remembered closing. Having opened up all the curtains and windows to let in a breeze. The bookshops ac had broken a week ago and David still hadn't found someone to fix it.

"What are you?" The words left you in a mumble. The curtain rings scrapped against the metal curtain rod when you drew the fabric back. What sat before you was an angel esque statue. It's hands were over its eyes.

Something about it felt off. An age old instinct inside you yelled. Raged against your new age brain. You reached your hand out despite this. Grazing your fingers against the back of the hand of the eerily warm statue. You shivered. Swallowed thickly.

With your hands now on your hips you huffed. Tutting your tongue as your grumbled. "David and his weird decor choices." No doubt he had hid the damn thing behind the curtain to spook you. It wouldn't be the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

You reached for the broom. Shivering as a soft breeze blew through the open window behind the statue.

It would just be your luck that you had to sneeze in that moment. Having forgotten to take you allergy pills that morning.

As you were wiping your nose with your handkerchief you just happened to glance up. Only to let out a curse and stumble back into an old bean bag. The statue had moved. Honest to god moved.

You shot to your feet. Eyes not moving from the statue as you walked backwards.

"Acho!" You and your luck. Maybe that's why you never won the lottery. The statue had moved again. A table sat between the two of you. The statue was grinning. Arm outstretched. Reaching towards you. You were close to panic. Hands shaking and palms sweating. You were cold despite the summer warmth.

You curse again when the lights began to flicker. A few bulbs in the children's section actually busting. Loud pops of glass had you flinching.

"I don't know what you are." You spoke. Reaching for a book left on the table. "But i'm not going to be that person who gets got in the first few minutes of a supernatural episode."

The book arced in the air. Smacking against the against the angel uselessly. The pages fluttered. Flew like confetti as the book exploded. More lights pooped. Slowly making its way towards the two of you.

You got the feeling that this thing liked your fear.

You began backing up again. Hands flailing behind you to guide your way. More lights burst. You hand meets the cold brass doorknob. You pushed the button to unlock it.

Nothing.

You tried again.

Nothing.

You jumped when you heard the whirring on the other side. Then the muttering of a man. Stupidly you looked away. Only to scream when the angel was right in front of you.

The door opened with a too cheerful "Ding!" And you fell into the arms of a man. The smell of leather heavy in your lungs.

"Hello!" The man spoke. His voice was accented.

"Hi." You spoke out quickly. Voice high with panic. Eyes still on the angel inside the book shop even as the man helped you to your feet. "You uh. You wouldn't happen to know what that thing is would you?" The man slammed the door closed and you got a proper look at him.

Leather jacket. Red shirt. Dark jeans. And a weird glowing pen in his hands. The sound of the whirring earlier obviously as he waved it around the door.

"That was a weeping angel. Quit lucky you." He pointed his pen at you before pocketing it. "I'm the Doctor by the way." He grinned.

"Y/n." You drew your name out as you spoke. A little more than confused. Both of you jumped when the door began to rattle.

"This is the part where we run. Come on!" The man, The Doctor. You'd ask Doctor who later. As it was it grabbed you hand and pulled. Leading you down the street as the world began to plunge into the night.

The Tenth Doctor:

Alien Invasion :

You had been painting when it happened. Sat out in an open meadow. Canvas only half filled. You wondered sometimes if it was still there. A burst of color in your otherwise greyed world.

The aliens had come without warning. Nothing save for the breaking of the atmosphere as their ships descended down to Earth.

You hadn't bothered to gather your things. Only turning and running before the behemoth of a creature could spot you.

Your truck had died over halfway through on the drive back. You later learned it was caused by an emp blast from the aliens. And so you ran.

It was late by the time you had gotten home. Both in the day and...

Still you could not think of it. Lest you make it more real. More tangible.

You chose to believe that they were ok despite the rumours surrounding the labour camps. You had been one of the few. The only who were outside those camps. The alien cities. Everyday was a fight for survival. Both against them and your fellow human.

As of right now though the squabbles have settled. At least amongst each other. Instead all of that fight was focused on one man who stood in the center of the room. Dimly illuminated by old oil lamps.

He called himself the Doctor and asked how he could get into the heart of The Capitol. The Aliens main base. A place that promised nothing but death.

"I have a friend there. Donna Noble. I need to get her out." There was a series of scoffs. Laughter. And uproar.

"Ya. You and everyone else here mate." A dark haired man spoke. You never bothered to learn his name. Or any others. To many people to lose to get attached. You had lost enough already.

You watched from your little corner in the room. Eyes fixated on the man as he tried to reason with someone. Any one in the room. There was something about him. They way he carried himself. When he circled his trenchcoat curled around his long legs. Brown eyes were darkened in the dim lighting. His lips were bit raw with worry. His shoulders tense.

"Please. Your the last group of people." Someone cut him off. The Doctor blew air out from his cheeks. Brows furrowed. He scowled. A type of anger you had never seen before flashed across his face. His mouth opened. Lips curled around teeth.

Until you stepped forward.

"I'll help." You told him. It wasn't some loud affair when you spoke. Quite the opposite. Your voice was quiet. Hoarse from lack of use. And when you moved closer to him Dian pulled at your sleeve. You shook her off. "I'll help." You spoke again. Wanting to clear away that look of disbelief from his face.

If it had been your family there. You would want help to.

.............

You were glad that you had helped him. Watching him interact with his friend. Donna had thanked you as well when it all settled down. At least now humankind will be able to re-build. Because of the Doctors efforts the Aliens had been driven away. Catapulted back into the skies where they had come from.

You had never met a man before that could instill so much fear with his name alone.

That left you here. Sitting well away from everyone as you sketched for the first time in a long time. Some skill had been left behind but the rest was still there.

You drew them. Happy. Smiling.

It hurt your very soul. Broke your heart. Even after all of this you still couldn't find them. And you had no one else to lean upon.

The pages darkened and his voice sounded in your ears. As did the sweet perfume you had first smelled as Donna sat beside you.

"What about you y/n? What are you going to do know that the earth is saved." You said nothing at the Doctors words. Merely shrugging your shoulders and closing the sketchbook before they could see what. Who you drew.

"Same thing I have been." You spoke quietly. Not looking at either of them as you looked over what had once been the Aliens Capitol. "Traveling. Moving." Alone.

You could see Donna look up at the Doctor from the corner of your eye. Such a kind and worried look on her face.

Then the Doctors hand on your shoulder. You look to see his face near yours as he bent down.

"Then how about traveling the universe? The stars? Lots more to draw than what's out here."

The Eleventh Doctor:

Crash Landing:

You are walking along the old graveled road to your home. Rocks crumbling underfoot as you go up the familiar trail. It's one you've taken for years now.

The air was cool and crisp. Sweet in your lungs as you breathed it in. In the distance you could hear the croaking of frogs. The chirping crickets. Here and there there was an owl. The sounds were comforting. Familiar.

Something was different about this walk though. Just. Have you ever walked into a room and it just felt different? Only to later learn that your friends or siblings had moved all the furniture a few inches to the left? That's what it felt like right now. That everything that you have seen for the last 15 years was moved a little to the left.

You took a step. Then paused. Ears straining to hear what you are no longer hearing.

The woods around you have fallen silent. No frogs, crickets. Nothing but the wind winding through the trees and the soft lapping of water on the shore from a nearby lake.

You turned on foot. Hand held light briefly lighting up the road, then the trees as you moved. You glanced up and into the sky. The moon was full and round. Almost bright enough that you didn't need the flashlight.

The air blew softly. Picking up with it the scent of wild flowers. It curled around you. Blowing around strands of hair and fluttering your open jacket.

You swallow thickly. Nervous. That was a new feeling on this road. This walk. Nervous. As if something was about to happen.

You stood on the spot for a few minutes. Eyes glancing about as you tried to find something tangible for this feeling. You drew in a breath. Held it. Then let it out.

!VAWHOMP!

You screamed when it came crashing through. It flung up wet earth and rock. Broke trees and it screamed. Yelled. A large blue box crashing and spinning into the Earth.

It landed some feet away and all you could do was close to hyperventilate. You body shook and your heart threatened to break your ribs with its rapid pounding.

The air was thick with the smell of freshly turned earth and wood. Normally it was comforting but.

The box made a noise.

"I... What?" You bag fell to the ground as you began to move. You almost fell into the trench it had made twice before you reached it.

The box made a wheeze.

You hand was on its side before you could think. Fingers running along the rough wood.

Curiosity got the better of you.

With some difficulty you clambered up on it. Skinning your knee in the process. After about a minute and some cursing and grumbling your were on it.

Police Call Box.

What was that?

Was that a door handle? It felt warm when you wrapped your hand around it. Pushing in did nothing. Pulling up on the other hand.

Smoke bellowed out when you opened it. It was thick and reeked of burnt motor oil. The door squealed on its hinges as it flopped to the other side. A bright light filtered through that smoke and for a moment you hoped that whatever you just breathed in wasn't toxic or radioactive.

Instead your lungs burned and you coughed. Hacking like that one time you had stupidly tried a cigarette when you were young. You waved a hand in front of your face trying to clear away some of the smoke. When it finally stopped bellowing out in thick clouds you stuck your head over the opening.

"How on gods green earth." You mumbled and leaned forward some more. Up an on your knees with your hands on the other side of the door way to brace you.

At a sideways view was the stranges thing you had ever seen. Some type of console you assumed a was in the center. Leading up to it was a walkway. At the end of the walkway was a man in a white shirt and suspenders. His face must have matched your own.

"How do you fit all of that in here?" The man shook his head. He was leaning on the consol thing. Rope in hand. He was coughing heavily every so often.

"How did you get up there?" He questioned back. You shrugged your shoulders.

"If you throw the rope I can catch it? There's a log out here I can tie it to." You offered. Questions can come later. And did you have a lot of them now.

[mimisempai]

Keep Reaching

Summary

Aziraphale is tired of stopping halfway. He's tired of half-smiles and broken gestures. He's tired of Crowley always being the one to make the move. Tonight he's decided to reach out and grab.

Notes

Aziraphale continues his journey to freedom...

On Ao3

Rating G -  1546 words

Returning from Maggie's, Aziraphale was surprised to find only Muriel in the bookshop and inquired, "What happened to Crowley?"

The other angel replied, "Well, he was taken against his will--"

"What?!"

"Well, it seems that Mr. Brown, Mutt, his spouse, Mr. Arnold and some of the other shopkeepers remembered how Crowley saved them on the night of the attack and took him out for a drink at the pub to thank him."

Aziraphale sighed with relief and thought that perhaps in the future he should teach Muriel to nuance their words to make them less ambiguous.

He asked them, "May I ask you to close the shop tonight?"

Muriel nodded enthusiastically, as they always did when given a responsibility.

Aziraphale thanked them and added, "Anyway, I'm just across the street at the Dirty Donkey if there's any trouble."

He walked to the pub and entered, not surprised to find it packed, especially at this time of day. He looked around for Crowley, and just as he caught sight of the unmistakable red hair, Mr. Brown spotted him and waved his arms to summon him to their side.

Aziraphale made his way through the crowd to a table where several of the shopkeepers were seated and waved to them. Then he glanced at Crowley, who was holding a glass of scotch and looked at him, saying softly, "Come on, angel, we've saved a seat for you.

Aziraphale had expected Crowley to be taciturn under the circumstances, but was surprised to find him in such a good mood. He sat down in the chair that had been vacated for him. Crowley moved closer and said in his ear, taking advantage of the ambient noise, "The liquor here is of good quality, it helps to put up with a few inconveniences."

Aziraphale chuckled softly, better understanding the demon's good mood. 

Crowley put his arm on the back of the angel's chair, making him realize how close they were, and then the demon continued, pushing a glass toward him with his other hand, "I took the liberty of ordering you a sherry." 

Aziraphale placed his hand on Crowley's and said softly, "Thank you, my dear, that's very thoughtful of you."

Realizing where they were, he almost immediately removed his hand from Crowley's and placed it on his knee.

He was embarrassed and kept his eyes down, inwardly admonishing himself for letting fear and guilt control his behavior once again.

When will he be able to let go?

When will he be able to take what he wants without second-guessing himself every time?

He thought of all the aborted smiles, all the barely made gestures, all the times he'd preferred to hold back rather than let go.

"It'd be funny if we both got it wrong, eh?"

Aziraphale turned his head toward Crawley and the demon chuckled as he continued, "If I did the good thing and you did the bad one."

Then he laughed, and Aziraphale couldn't help but laugh along with him.

Oh yes, it would be so funny if it were the like t-.

Then his laughter suddenly stopped and he lost his smile before he said, "No. It wouldn't be funny at all."

The demon lost his smile as well, and the rain came down, preventing them from continuing their conversation.

That didn't stop Aziraphale from listening to his heart and putting his wing over the demon's head to protect him.

**********

Aziraphale eyed the demon warily for a few seconds before extending his hand. The demon shook it, then said, "We'd be godfathers, sort of, overseeing his upbringing."

Then, leaning forward, he added, " We do it right, he won't be evil. Or good. He'll just be normal."

Aziraphale said in a tone of wonder as he watched, "It might work.

Then he added, "Godfathers. Well, I'll be damned." and laughed lightly.

The demon winked at him and said, "It's not that bad when you get used to it," and Aziraphale continued to laugh with him.

But once again, he lost his smile when he realized what he'd just said.

********

"I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides." 

Having said that, Beelzebub grabbed Gabriel's hand and they both stayed there, indifferent to the rest of the room.

Aziraphale didn't hear the reactions of the other people in the bookshop, as his only reflex was to reach for the demon. He put his hand on Crowley's arm in a spontaneous gesture.   

Witnessing Gabriel and Belzeebub's love in front of him, he was only aware of the emotions he felt at that moment and of the person who inspired them.

He didn't realize the threat to Nina and Maggie, and it wasn't until he lost his connection to Crowley that he came back to reality, his hand making one last gesture to hold the demon back as he forced his mind back to the present.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Crowley's hand, which had slipped over his under the table, intertwining its fingers with his own.

He looked up at the demon, who just nodded and smiled softly, as if to say everything was okay.

But Aziraphale felt a kind of unease. 

He couldn't put his finger on it, but the feeling stayed with him all evening, even as he talked and laughed with the others, his fingers and Crowley's still intertwined under the table.

He still felt that unease as he and the demon left the pub and crossed the street to the bookshop.

It wasn't until he and Crowley walked through the door that he realized where it all came from.

It was when he saw the exact spot where Crowley had first kissed him. Instinctively, he raised his hand to his lips.

"You idiot. We could have been...us."

Aziraphale turned away, refusing to see Crowley go, not noticing that the demon had returned, and it wasn't until he grabbed his coat and his lips were pressed to his that he realized what was happening.

He didn't know what to do. 

He didn't know who he was.

He didn't know where he was.

He only knew one thing: he didn't want to lose Crowley.

He didn't want to lose his connection to Crowley.

Once again, his body did what his mind was unwilling to do and he put his hands on Crowley's back.

Holding him against his body.

But it was too late.

Crowley was already pulling away.

Aziraphale's mind was back in control. Or the illusion of it.

And it was all over.

"Angel?"

Aziraphale turned to Crowley, who was looking at him worriedly.

Crowley who had first revealed his feelings.

Crowley who had kissed him, who had reached out.

Crowley who had held his hand moments before.

Always, always Crowley reaching out.

When Aziraphale was the one who stopped on the way.

He couldn't let them go on like this.

He had no reason to hold back anymore.

Driven by a compelling urge within him, he walked toward the demon and, placing his hands on his shoulders, grabbed the lapels of Crowley's jacket and pulled him toward him, pressing his lips to his own.

The demon froze for a split second before responding to the kiss and resting his hands on the angel's hips.

In that moment, Aziraphale stopped thinking, forgot everything that wasn't Crowley, everything that wasn't his hands on him, his lips against his, his breath mingling with his.

He grabbed and held nothing back.

His hands slid from the demon's shoulders to his hair, burying his fingers in it, pressing the demon's head against his own to deepen the kiss. Crowley obliged, and the kiss lingered until they were both out of breath.

A short time later, when they parted, Aziraphale had to hold onto the demon's shoulders for support, his legs giving out as he felt intoxicated, exhilarated by a sense of freedom he'd never felt before.

As he supported him, Crowley said softly, "Easy, angel..." then added, putting his arm around Aziraphale's shoulders, "Come on, let's sit down," pulling him toward the sofa.

They sat down and Crowley, turning to him, asked quietly, "What's gotten into you, angel? Not that it was unpleasant, far from it, but..."

Aziraphale shook his head and grabbed the demon's hand, saying urgently, "Because it's not fair. Because I can't have you holding out your hand all the time. I don't want to have to stop when I laugh or smile, I don't want to have to take my hand away from yours, I don't want to stop in the middle of whatever it is I feel like doing."

Crowley nodded and said quietly, "As long as you know it's not a competition and I'm not keeping score. As always, at your own pace. I know you want to change. I can see you changing. We both have so much to learn, so don't put any pressure on yourself. Okay, angel?"

He raised the angel's hand to his lips and planted a tender kiss there as Aziraphale slowly nodded.

Then the Angel, a new gleam in his eye, asked Crowley, "May I kiss you now?"

Crowley, with the same gleam in his eye, replied softly, opening his arms, "Take what's yours, angel."

And Aziraphale reached out and took.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : here (After season 2)

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 7

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Masterlist

"Ferran, is this allowed?"

"Not really" he shrugs. "But you aren't the first girl we are sneaking into the hotel, and won't be the last" he smirks.

"What if they see us?"

"I'll deal with that, don't worry."

"And what if he doesn't want to see me?"

"He will, Val. For the past month he's been looking like shit again, like when they made him play every game under the sun. But you should have seen his face on the bus on our way to the stadium. His smile. That was my Pepi."

"You need to stop calling him that, he doesn't like it."

"I know" Ferran winks. "And this is his room."

"How did you manage to get the key?"

"I can be very charming" he smiles.

"That charm didn't work on Luis Enrique's daughter, did it?" I chuckle.

"I had not missed your witty comments, Val. Anyway, go make yourself comfortable, he'll be here any moment now. And try to fix things before fucking. Or first fuck and then talk. I don't know, whatever works for you."

"Thank you, Ferran" I say, rolling my eyes. 

"My pleasure" he replies, taking my hand and kissing it like he always does before saying goodbye. "See you around, Val."

"Bye" I say, walking into the room. 

Just like his own back home, it is an organized mess. There are shoes on the floor, a towel thrown on a chair, a phone charger hanging from the bed's headboard… And a book on the bedside table. "Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban." 

"You've kept reading" I smile, touching its cover. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You spend hours traveling and in hotel rooms. Why don't you pick up a book instead of playing FIFA all the damn time?" 

"Because reading is boring."

"Not if you find a genre you enjoy. For example, what movies do you like watching?"

"Anything Marvel" Pedri says, his eyes fixed on the tv.

"Those are comics, you could read them."

"But if I've already watched the movies, what's the point?" 

"Sometimes, if not always, the books are better than the movies."

"Sure. And 5-0. That will be happening in real life very soon" he smirks.

"Militao and Alaba won't allow it" I reply, sticking out my tongue. "But that's not what we were talking about. What other movies do you like?"

"I don't know… Harry Potter?" he shrugs.

"Have you read the books?"

"They are for kids."

"Said the old man" I laugh.

"You know what I mean" he says, trying to tickle me. 

"Pedri, don't" I warn him, moving away from him. "But you've given me an idea."

"Tickling contest followed by sex?"

"No." 

"Then I'm not interested."

"We are gonna have our own movie and book club."

"What?"

"You'll read a book, then we'll watch the movie together, and then we'll discuss which one is better."

"You won't be reading with me?"

"If I have time, I will. I promise."

"Ok…"

"Do we have a deal, then?" I say, offering him my hand.

"We do" he replies, taking it and using it to pull me against him. 

"Pedri!" I laugh while he moves me until I am straddling him.

"Can we now have my tickling contest followed by sex?" he smirks. 

"We can skip the tickling" I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. "But tomorrow we are going to a bookshop and buying you the first Harry Potter book."

"Fine" he sighs. "Can I kiss you now?"

"You can… Pedri Potter" I laugh.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val?"

"Oh, shit" I say, coming back from my memory, the book falling from my hands. 

"What are you doing here? Who let you in?"

"Ferran" I say, standing up and leaving the book on the small table.

"Ferran, of course" he scoffs. "Was this his idea?"

"Kind of. I didn't want to sneak in, but I needed to talk with you, so" I shrug.

"Talk about what?"

"Us. Me. I want to explain everything to you."

"We can't talk while you are wearing that."

"What?"

"My shirt. I can't focus knowing that my name is on your back."

"Oh, sorry" I say, playing with the hem of the shirt. "I thought you would like it, but I can put on a jacket or something if it bothers you."

"It doesn't bother me, Val. Well, it does, but not in the way you are thinking."

"What?" I ask again, looking at him. 

"It bothers me because you don't know how many times I've pictured you wearing it. How many times I've imagined us fucking while you only have my shirt on. And now here you are" he says, slowly walking towards me. "In my mind you are always wearing the Barça one, but oh well."

"That will never happen" I reply, my voice shaking a bit. 

"I know" he says, getting closer. He's looking at me as if I was his prey, as if any moment now he will jump at me and devour me. And it is turning me on. Big time. 

"Then…" 

"Then we are gonna have to do something about this" he says, now just one step away from me. 

"About what?"

"Me wanting to fuck you."

"Aren't you still mad at me?"

"I am. I'm mad. Disappointed. Sad. Confused. And fucking hard, Val. I want to bend you down on that bed and make you scream of pleasure while I see my name on your back."

"Then do it" I hear myself saying.

"But you came here to talk."

"We can talk later." 

"You'll be too exhausted to talk after I'm done with you."

"Nothing like trying" I say, closing almost all the space between us, my heart feeling like it is about to explode inside my chest.

"Are you sure?" Pedri asks, arching one of those perfect eyebrows of his.

"I am. Are you sure you can do everything you are bragging about?" I tease him, moving until our noses are almost touching. "You kids like talking and then…"

"As if I had ever disappointed you" he laughs. "That was your ex, not me."

"There always is a first time for everything."

"Not with me, and not today. Definitely not today" he says before kissing me.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Morning" I yawn.

"Good morning" Pedri smiles.

"Have I ever told you that I love your smile?"

"You've said that you like it, but I think this is the first time you've said that you love it." 

"Well, I do. I love… fuck" I complain when I move. 

"Sore, uh?"

"Yes."

"I warned you."

"Shut… ouch!" I say when I try to hit him. 

"Do you need me to carry you to the bathroom or something?" he says with a teasing smile.

"I can do it myself, thank you" I reply, slowly moving to face him while trying really hard to not complain again.

"Are you sure you don't need my help?"

"I'm fine, Pedri. I've been this sore before."

"With whom?" he laughs. "I'm sure your ex never did what I can. Or made you feel the way I do."

"He didn't, no. But last year Emma convinced me to go to one of the classes she takes at the gym, and for the next four days I felt like this."

"So you are just out of practice, uh?" he smirks.

"I am, yes. A month of doing nothing, and look at me. I'm getting old" I sigh.

"You aren't old, Val" Pedri laughs. "And I can help with your fitness. Because I'm a professional athlete and all that."

"Of course" I laugh. "Anyway… Is it ok if we have that chat now?"

"Sure" he smiles.

"Ok" I say, taking a deep breath. "I've rehearsed this many times in my head, so let's hope I remember everything."

"There is no rush, take your time" he says, caressing my cheek.

"I have time, my plane doesn't leave until late in the afternoon. But yours?"

"That doesn't matter now, Val. Talk."

"Yes, ok. So, umm… I guess I should start from the beginning, right?"

"For example" he chuckles.

"So… Marc and I have basically known each other our whole lives. We went to the same school, same high school, same university… And I think I always had a crush on him. Like, I can't remember a moment before we started dating where I didn't think he was… perfect. He comes from a really good family, very posh to be honest. And he is charming, intelligent, super nice with everyone, handsome… The man every mother would like for their kid. And when we both were 15, he asked me out. We were in the same group of friends with Silvia and Isabel too, and half the girls in our high school were in love with him. But he chose me. The girl who didn't drink or partied, the one who knew Real Madrid's starting eleven by heart instead of how to do her makeup, the one who didn't dress fancy, the one who wasn't considered one of the hot girls but neither an ugly one. I was just… there. And he saw me."

"Because you have something, Val, I already told you. I still don't know what it is, but… It is there."

"Yeah, well, thank you" I smile, feeling my cheeks getting warm. "Anyway, after he asked me out we started dating, and that made many girls jealous, Isabel the first of them all. Looking at it now I can see that she bullied me for years, but back then I didn't understand what she truly meant with her comments."

"And Marc didn't do anything?"

"No, he didn't. I think he didn't notice either. Or that's what I want to believe" I shrug. "When we went to uni, Isabel was sent abroad, and during those years without her, everything was perfect. I had met new friends, I was loving what I was studying, and Marc and I were better than ever. But then we both finished our degrees, and everything changed." 

"Isabel came back?" 

"Among other things, yes. Even though we had just moved in together, I felt like our relationship wasn't going anywhere. Silvia had just met Pau for example, and I kept looking at them or some of our other friends and then at us, and something was missing. And then I found myself jobless. Marc had been offered a position on the bank where he had done his internship the moment it was over while I had nothing. I didn't know what to do, if I should keep studying or what. I even started having doubts about teaching, wondering if I had wasted my time and money on a career that I didn't truly like, on something that I wasn't made for. And seeing him thriving while I had all that in my head, wasn't helping our relationship."

"Did you ever tell him?"

"I tried, but he always was so busy…"

"And he didn't notice something was off with you?" Pedri asks, putting a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Never."

"What a shitty boyfriend, then."

"Yeah" I chuckle. "Thankfully everything started to change when I met Emma. Silvia had booked us a pottering lesson and she was there all alone, so we asked her to join us and we instantly connected. Back then she was working at an academy teaching extracurricular lessons with kids of different ages and that they were looking for people to cover for someone who had just retired. She asked me if I was interested, I said yes, and I suddenly found myself with a job and feeling alive again. It was as if all my doubts and fears had disappeared, as if I was me again. The only thing stopping me from moving on and enjoying myself again, was Marc."

"So you broke up with him."

"I did."

"How did he take it?"

"Really good. He said that we had made it to a point where we were more like flatmates sharing the same bed than boyfriend and girlfriend."

"But he never bothered to talk about it with you. He sounds like a bit of a coward, doesn't he?"

"He is, yes. After we broke up I moved in with Silvia, but I still wasn't feeling completely like myself. And then, the night at the opera happened."

"The night… I'm lost" Pedri says.

"Remember when I told you about the engagement party, that it was themed as a night at the opera?"

"Oh, yes."

"Well, six months after Marc and I broke up, he and Isabel were going on a date to the opera and sharing their first kiss." 

"Six months?" 

"Yep."

"He didn't waste his time, did he?"

"And neither did Isabel. The moment she found out we had broken up she was all over him. This was her chance and she wasn't gonna let it pass."

"And she didn't" he laughs.

"She did not, no. I was so angry when I found out. The person I had shared my life with for a decade was now dating the woman who had bullied me for years. And according to most of our friends, I didn't have the right to feel like that because I had been the one who had broken up with him."

"What?"

"Yeah" I sigh. "Anyway, a couple of years passed, I got used to them, dated some guys here and there and started to work at my current school, but I still couldn't let go of that anger, I couldn't close that chapter of my life. Then they announced their engagement, and I met you."

"And I made you forget."

"Exactly" I say, moving closer and caressing his cheek. "You were exactly what I needed to finally leave them in the past, to move on, to fully enjoy this new life I had started after breaking up with Marc. You made me forget about them and my anger, but also made me stop thinking that I was a failure because I had wasted the best years of my life with a man who didn't deserve me or because I wasn't getting married and having kids like everyone else. You were the key that closed that door, but also the one who allowed me to completely open the one of my new life. The life I wanted, one that was mine and no one else's."

"Then why didn't you tell me about Marc? Why didn't you tell me all this?"

"Because I was afraid, Pedri. Afraid of losing you because you are still young and knowing all this about me could scare you and make you run away. Afraid of opening up to someone again after everything I went through. Afraid because maybe telling you could open that door again and make me realize that I had been lying to myself, that he isn't in the past."

"And is he?" he says, wiping away a tear.

"He is. He definitely is, now I know it, 100%."

"Good. Because Val…" Pedri says, cupping my face and making me look him in the eyes. "I have feelings for you. I'm not sure about what they are exactly, at least not yet. I have never felt like this with any other girl I've been with, you know? But I do know that I want to be with you. And I want you to be able to trust me, to open up to me, to tell me everything and anything that worries you. I'm here for you, Valeria. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you" I smile between sobs. "But I like it better when you call me Val."

"What?"

"Marc always called me Valeria. Always. And I found it so annoying… Not even my mum calls me like that, only when she's angry with me."

"Ok" he laughs. "Then I will only call you Valeria when I'm angry with you."

"And during sex."

"What?" Pedri laughs again. "Is that some kink or something?"

"When you moan my name it turns me on" I smirk.

"Interesting" he smiles.

"Are we ok, then? Have we made up?"

"We have." 

"Thank God" I sigh.

"That much did you miss me?" 

"I did, yes. You can ask Silvia and Emma if you don't believe me. And before you say it… I missed everything about you. Not just the physical part."

"One would start to think that you've caught feelings, Miss Val" he says with a teasing smile.

"And one may not be wrong. But step by step, ok?"

"Step by step" he says before kissing me.

[caspianthegeek]

Nightingale May Prompt Two: Angels dining at the Ritz

The Bentley was not immune to the way Aziraphale’s hand traced over her dash as if in thank you as he climbed from the car at the Ritz. She hummed contentedly, ignoring the pleased humph from her demon as he hurried to the angel’s side. He had been excited tonight, her beloved, as he’d ushered the angel into the car. And Bentley was determined to find out why.

As she settled into her normal spot, she reached her senses to hear what was happening in the crowded restaurant. It was easy seeking out the two beloved auras. Yet so far, this meal seemed like any other. That was alright, she could wait.

A tug on her door forced her to hold them shut as she slammed the locks down.

“Damn it,” the man muttered. He was dressed in the dark hues her owner favored, but this shorter man was clearly not him. Brown hair snuck out from under his cap as he hurriedly dug into his bag and pulled out a lock-picking kit.

That simply would not do. Did he not know she had more important beings to focus on this evening? As the man tried to pick her locks she spared half of a thought to shifting them so they would be impossible to open as she tried to listen in on the angel at the table explaining something about Bookshop, her other beloved.

Perhaps the mention of Bookshop distracted her because a moment later the thief had her door open. With what would have been a sigh in a human, Bentley turned her radio up as loud as it would go.

Freddie’s voice blared through the car, causing the man to stumble backward. The words “I don't have no time for no monkey business” should echo in his head quite loudly if she’d got the volume correct. Bently primly shut her door and went back to her business. Crowley was pontificating about what wine to pair with dinner, that may be take a bit.

The thief hadn’t taken the hint and was back at the door again. She flicked her mirror, smacking him. This gave him at least a little pause where the deafening car radio-alarm had not, but a moment later he was back at it with the lock pick kit.

That was quite enough. Checking in on her two favorite breathing beings, Bentley confirmed they were still awaiting the main course and did some quick math. She knew every street in this town, and she had plenty of time. With a rev of her engine she threw the car door open.

Humans were not always the brightest, she reflected as the man greedily climbed into the seat. She wasn’t a monster and while she knew her regular passengers declined, humans did prefer seatbelts didn’t they?

If this one happened to tie the man’s hands down, there was no reason for him to touch her wheel as she pulled into traffic, already racing. Aziraphale had complained about doing a hundred miles per hour through central London, but he didn’t know that Bentley always slowed down just a smidgen for him. As she screeched to a halt in front of the police station and loosened the belt, the man scrambled from the car on his hands and knees.

A curious onlooker helped him to his feet as Bentley hurried back to her station, anxious to not miss anything important.

Crowley stood outside, arms crossed.

Fuck.

She had expected a brief lecture from the demon about driving unaccompanied. Instead, he leaned against her his lithe body pressed against the car door, “Didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Insulted, she revved her engine for a moment.

The demon chuckled as he rested a forehead against the cool glass of the window. “Good girl,” he whispered. She purred in response.

Aziraphale was not with him, she realized. With a quick check, she realized the angel was inside, feeling mildly worried.

Beyoncé’s voice rolled from her speakers “…put a ring on it…”

“Oi! Don’t you start getting involved,” the demon groaned. “I know, I will…eventually…”

Hopeless, that one was. She begrudgingly settled lower nestling into her spot once more.

“Don’t go judging me,” he grumbled. “Should get back though. You stay out of trouble.”

It was only half-heartedly that she let her senses fly once more, keeping a watch over her two beings. She daydreamed about what could be if they’d only allow it, she could have the angel visit her so much more often! In fact, she’d stopped paying attention at all by the time they returned.

That was until Crowley’s hands graced her wheel once more and she realized there, was, indeed a ring there. A piece of Aziraphale worn on her demon’s finger, clear as day to anyone who would notice.

If she was a bit joyful on the ride home, neither of them called her out on it.

[fitz-higgins]

Spring in New York often seemed to have two minds; when the sun peeked out from behind the clouds, it was fresh and sublime. And when it was in a dour disposition, it rained cats and dogs... which is exactly what Henry was dealing with now, his umbrella barely offering any shelter as he made his way in long, urgent strides towards the bookshop. An out-of-print work which he long been after was up for sale here and having seen it advertised in the papers at the breakfast table he shared with Monty, Henry's heart was set on obtaining it at last. Even if he had to walk out of the shop and once more into the heavy rain, at least he would head into it happier, albeit with his wallet significantly lighter.

Alas, his hopes were dashed almost from the moment he had stepped into the shop. "My apologies, sir, but another gentleman bought it not half an hour ago" was the bookseller's earnest reply. "He was most eager to purchase it, he was barely in here five minutes before he was off."

Perhaps Henry's deep disappointment was all too plain to see for the man quickly offered a possible solution. "Maybe I could connect you with the gentleman, Mr Higgins, at the very least. I can't say whether he'll be open to letting you borrow it, but it's worth a try. I have his address down somewhere..."

By now, Henry's mood was as dark as the storm clouds swirling about Manhattan. He was not one to sulk, but he felt damn near close to it, after getting drenched on his way to and from the university today and now this blow...

Listless, he watched the man jot down the address in his neat hand. '416 West 20th...' Wait! In an instant, Henry's face lit up.

"Thank you for your help, that's all I need for I do know the gentleman!" was all the bemused bookseller heard as Henry rushed out of the door, bounding into the pouring rain towards home and his wonderful husband who always knew how best to surprise him.

[qqueenofhades]

Feel like I just watched a parenthesis ao3 fic with Taylor Swift lyrics….

Look was this season's storyline mostly a mess? Yes it was. Did they fill a lot of time that they could have used more efficiently? Also yes. Did they leave us SUFFERING? DEFINITELY INDISPUTABLY YES.

But the rest of that shit was straight up angst/romance fanfic?!?!?! I mean?!?!?!

Angel Crowley/Aziraphale and Crowley before the creation

Validating the fandom headcanon that Crowley did in fact fall instantly in love in Eden, to the point he thinks that shielding someone from the rain and gazing into their eyes is the A+ number one way to get humans to fall in love

Also validating the fandom headcanon about Aziraphale finally realizing it in 1941

ALL THE MARRIED COUPLE BICKERING JESUS?!?!?!

THEY WERE INDISPUTABLY, INCREDIBLY, UNFATHOMABLY MARRIED

AZIRAPHALE JUST LIKE HONEY I AM DRIVING UP TO EDINBURGH IN YOUR OUR CAR AND CROWLEY BEING LIKE OKAY FINE BUT I AM STILL NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT

And CALLING AZIRAPHALE TO COMPLAIN THAT HE WAS MESSING WITH THE CAR WITHOUT PERMISSION

Crowley in the bookshop without his jacket AND WITHOUT HIS GLASSES (UNTIL THE LAST SCENE YOU KNOW)

Crowley rushing to Aziraphale's rescue with "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" blaring

The whole "how long have you been together/is the bookseller your side piece/do you have a husband because you're a walking gay disaster" scene with Crowley and Nina

The constant sitting at tables with candles! And roses!

EVERYONE IN THE BACKGROUND WAS QUEER??

JOB'S SASSY GAY SON! (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT EPISODE! I AM SUFFERING!)

THE MAGICIAN AND THEIR TRANS SPOUSE

THE RANDOM GUY WITH GRINDR ON HIS PHONE

NINA AND MAGGIE OBVS

THEY REALLY SAID "YES WE SEE SANDMAN S1 WAS VERY GAY AND IT MADE SOME BIGOTS UNHAPPY, LET'S DOUBLE DOWN, JUST MAKE IT MORE GAY FOR EVERYONE"

GOD BLESS

and of course THE LAST SCENE

WITH THE BIG DRAMATIC LOVE CONFESSION AND CROWLEY'S "I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND..." LIKE THEY HAD THAT MAN WHOLEASS PROPOSING I WAS NOT READY

FOLLOWED BY THE BIG DAMN KISS (TM)

and AZIRAPHALE THINKING THEY CAN BE TOGETHER IF THEY GO BACK TO HEAVEN AS ANGELS TOGETHER WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE LAST THING CROWLEY WANTS

"I NEED YOU"

AND THEN OF COURSE IT ALL GOES TERRIBLY WRONG BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DOES

SECOND ACT CLIFFHANGER MY BELOVED BELOATHED

wow there are a lot of capital letters in this huh

I regret nothing

man that whole Stupid Homosexuals Cannot Communicate And Get Themselves Into a World of Self-Inflicted Hurt Because They Are So Dumb really is my catnip huh

/takes deep breaths

We're all fine here now