#where i can try to forget my brother hates me because i DIDN'T die

[insipid-drivel]

I think it's 20 total! 5 for the top and 5 for the bottom, and then 10 to make the long chain of them that goes around the centre! Good luck friend!

Thank you. I could see "10" among the instructions, but I couldn't tell if 10 meant just the chain around the middle, or if you needed 10 for the top and bottom too.

I just need something easy and simple like paper lanterns to make.

[talekinesis]

Random Gravity Falls Headcanons

Stan

This guy smokes to help deal with the stress of everything. He picked up the habit after he was kicked out by his father and hasn't quit since. He used to be a chainsmoker but after getting to look after the kids for the summer, he drastically cut back and is actually thinking of quitting altogether because he wants to be around long enough to watch Mabel and Dipper grow up

Actually a pretty decent cook, it's just baking he sucks at. With cooking you can sort of eyeball the ingredients and add more or less depending on your own personal taste, but with how strict baking is with its ingredients, he never really picked it up. He's only baked a cake twice in his life, once for his mom when he was a kid, with the help of Ford, and once for the kids' birthday (it was lopsided and runny and they decided to just go out for pancakes instead)

He can play the guitar really well. He had to teach himself how to play when he was young and homeless, playing for tips. He still has his original guitar and occasionally, on a good day, will get it out and play it. He played it once for Mabel, who, for once in her life, actually sat still and listened

Part of his daily routine is kicking gnomes out of the trash because they keep trying to eat leftovers. He just bats them off with a broom like they're raccoons

He grew up a huge mama's boy since she was the only supportive parent he had. After he got kicked out of the house, he called her from a pay phone a couple times to ask to come back home and to wish her a happy birthday. To this day he still makes it a point to get a cupcake on her birthday since he can't celebrate it with her, and sometimes he'll tell the kids stories about her, like how she would have loved Mabel since Mabel has all these different unique sweaters, and his ma used to collect different, big, unique earrings

Stan coaches Mabel in boxing, and actually helped her discover a passion for it, he attends all of her matches. He even taught her a couple illegal moves that she can't use in the ring but can use in real self defense

Even in his early 60s, he still thinks it's funny to bother Ford as if they were still kids. He'll randomly snatch his glasses off his face (forgetting that he also wears glasses and Ford can retaliate), he'll just start copying Ford and repeat what he says, he once even dressed up as Ford, but it didn't last very long because Ford wears a much smaller size of pants, and Stan has a bit of a gut on him. He changed after about five or ten minutes.

He's a die-hard fan of Chappell Roan

He's actually the more responsible of the Stan-Twins. He breaks laws sure, but he always makes sure everyone is fed and safe. He's like this close 🤏 to putting Ford and Mabel on leashes when they go out because they have a tendency to run off

"I'd like to make an announcement to the store, I lost someone." "Oh, did your kid run off?" "My 60 year old brother, yeah. No he doesn't have a cellphone."

Has a biological kid out there somewhere but the mom cut him off. I just think the scene where he said, "Scary movies are great, the girl cuddles up next to ya... next thing you know you gotta raise a kid.. And your life falls apart.." sounded too much like he was speaking from experience and not as a hypothetical. He wants so badly to be a dad though and regrets not keeping contact. (let me know if I should make an oc for this :] )

Ford

He can't eat doritos or any triangle shaped chip because one time Bill hid inside a chip bag just to startle him

It took him a while to adjust to this dimension's laws of physics. He was frustrated for a while that he couldn't just leave his coffee floating in the air. He broke three mugs and one of them was Stan's.

Despises pickles as if he held a personal grudge against them. He hates them an irrational amount, and even gets irritated with Stan for just having them in the house. He acts like a child about it too, arms crossed and everything. "Here, Poindexter, you want me to take the pickles off your sandwich? Like a child?" "Don't bother, the meal's ruined >:( "

He gets sucked into those soap operas that Stan watches, and will sometimes watch from the doorway or over his shoulder. He won't admit it, but Stan knows.

He lights his face on fire because he saw someone else do it in a different dimension where that was normal

Unlike Stan, he's actually amazing at baking (he likes to follow precise measurements and instructions) But sucks at cooking. Caught a pot of water on fire.

When he first discovered the shape shifter, he kept it as a pet because he found it cute, but ended up letting it go when he found out it had a human-like sentience and could speak. But for a while he raised it the same way Mabel raises Waddles, putting it in little shirts, hats, and just absolutely adoring it

Used to play 'Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons' with a group in college as the DM, and it was the first time he actually had a friend group. The other players loved the way he set things up

Doesn't like alchohol. At least from this dimension, he got used to alternate dimension alchohols that tasted way better, so when he came back to Earth everything tasted way too strong and almost like dirt to him so he just quit

Used to know a little banjo since Fiddleford taught him but forgot it while in other dimensions

Used to babysit Tate on occasion and sucked at it

He also used to babysit Shermie and *also* sucked at it. He'd have to pass him off to Stan if he got fussy or started crying since only Stan and their mom could calm him down

• Used to play David Bowie in his lab and would occasionally lip sync or dance to it. Even when traveling dimensions, he'd introduce David Bowie music to the people, creatures, and beings he met, until he lost the cassette tape and was devastated

Mabel

Allergic to chocolate and makes up for it by eating way too much of other candies. She still tries to eat it though because "Maybe I'm not allergic anymore," but Dipper has to stop her. Stan even makes it a point not to keep chocolate in the Shack when they visit because he knows Mabel is a heathen with little self preservation. It's not epi-pen bad, but it will burn and itch her throat and get her coughing (Ford will use chocolate substitutes when baking for her and Dipper)

She likes to tell people that she and Dipper were originally two of three, and that she ate their triplet in the womb to become stronger. This is not true.

She wants to be a big sister really bad and sometimes that comes out onto Dipper despite him only being 5 minutes younger, much to his dismay and protest

She found a passion for boxing after Stan taught her how, and even asked her parents to let her start doing it as a sport, which she got really into. Coincidentally, after she picked up boxing, Gideon suddenly left her alone completely. Future Headcanon: She grows up to box professionally and one day even faces Grenda in the ring, but there's obviously a mutual respect between them. They agreed ahead of time that if they ever had to face each other, neither of them would hold back and it would be a fair match. Even after there's a winner, they meet up afterward and go out for dinner with Candy, who posts their matches to social media. Waddles is her mascot.

Mabel makes even more friends when she returns home from Gravity Falls because she takes Waddles for walks on a leash and it's a pretty good conversation starter

She is convinced that if she eats all the ingredients for a cake, she'll have successfully made a cake in her stomach. Once again, Dipper has to physically stop her from doing this. Ford does too, the first time he heard her say this (through a mouthful of flour) he went, "That certainly is an interesting theory, Mabel, but no-"

Dipper

Let's get it out of the way, I really like the 'Trans Dipper' headcanon. It just fits really well and I, as a trans person, can relate to him a lot

I think he knows how to dance a little because his mom taught him and used to take him to 'Mother-Son' events

He secretly keeps a tally of how many times Mabel rolls herself out of bed because it always wakes him up but he also kind of thinks it's funny because she just sleeps through it. Even if they don't share rooms back at home, he can always here the distance "thunk" of his sister hitting the floor. The tally isn't a sheet of paper, it's a small notebook with multiple pages filled in

He sometimes gets the courage to try and roughhouse with Stan, who is always on board but purposely takes it easy on the kid because he's like "baby bird" fragile

Dipper was the one to break the news to his Grandpa Shermie that Stanley was still alive and Stanford was actually missing for 30 years with Stan taking his place, almost giving the poor man a heart attack. (Shermie ended up booking a flight to Gravity Falls to yell at his brothers in person because that's not a conversation you can have over the phone)

Dipper was the one to introduce Stan to Chappell Roan by accident, but now they listen to her if they're in the car together

his DD&MD character is a female orc fighter named Yotula and he got very excited to info-dump about her to Ford (who was equally as excited to listen)

Has an odd addiction to chocolate milk. He makes a glass of chocolate milk at least once a day. Twice if it's been a rough day. He actually gets a little upset if he misses his daily cup of chocolate milk, its just routine. Stan one time made an offhand joke that since Mabel's allergic, Dipper has to consume twice as much for the both of them, but Mabel took that seriously and now to her its just the truth.

[nandangel]

Chapter 1 - Who is Min Yoongi?

1019 words | mainlist

"People often say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. Perhaps that's why my iris is black." — Héctor Ridel.

Min Yoongi

January 1998

— Never forget your weapon, boy. You need that damn thing always close... In this line of work, it's essential. If you're caught without it, I guarantee you won't like what happens.

At five years old, Min Yoongi watched curiously as his father cleaned the shiny gun.

— What line of work, Dad? — he asked.

Yeong-su smiled. — Jeongyeon-pa, boy. This damn thing we're in.

— Oh.

Yoongi didn't fully understand what his father meant, not yet, at least. But he liked the weapon, just as he liked the red pocketknife his father had given him that morning.

— And remember to always follow the rules, Yoongi. Always.

August 2024

The Jeongyeon-pa has existed for many years, passed down from generation to generation. I assumed the responsibility of Don when I was eighteen, after my father was killed in an ambush by members of the Jopok, a rival mafia. Losing my father was an unbearable pain, especially after the loss of my mother to cancer. My father was my mentor; he taught me everything about how to be a good Don, to be fair, and earn the respect of everyone. I am known as Jeoseung Saja, the Death's Grim Reaper, not because I'm a psychopath or anything shit like that, but because I am deeply feared. And I'm proud of that because I know I'm fulfilling my role as Don.

My mafia offers protection in exchange for money to smaller mafias and is involved in arms smuggling, slot machines, and gambling houses spread across various parts of the world. I hate traitors, and those who dare betray me pay with their lives. For this reason, within my mafia, there are few whom I would risk my life to save. Despite mentioning at some point that I trust everyone, not all are worthy of my trust. I have six brothers who I consider true brothers because I know they would die for me, just as I would die for them. It may sound clichéd, but it's the plain truth.

New York is a decaying void, a vast dump where the defeated abandon their shattered dreams and try to move on. The sparkling lights that once shone have lost their luster, and that atmosphere of novelty and hope that once filled the air has long since disappeared. I can hardly remember the last time I was in New York, and honestly, since then, nothing has changed. Curiously, it used to be my favorite city, but Daegu is my home, and nothing and no one can change that.

My reason for being in New York isn't for fun, but for business. And, honestly, things here have been giving me a lot of headaches and irritation. Two months ago, Jung Hoseok, my financial manager responsible for overseeing the gang's money and ensuring that resources are available for our illegal operations, discovered a substantial diversion in our profits, especially from New York. At first, we thought it was an error from one of my men operating here, but Hoseok swore he had no idea what was happening. I trust the people around me, as everyone who enters the mafia earns my trust, which is not easy to achieve. However, the problem worsened when I was informed that some of my associates weren't receiving their shipments properly.

When Hoseok revealed who was behind the diversion, I was shocked. The Lexingtons had been serving my family for generations; my father always trusted Mr. Lexington to handle our transactions for our material in America. Knowing they were deceiving us behind our backs was an unforgivable betrayal, especially since my father had saved the Lexingtons from seeing their export and import empire destroyed on several occasions. I had to deal with this personally and clean up the mess in New York, as I knew many of my associates were turning against me.

Now, we're in the SUV. Namjoon is beside me, and Seokjin is in front, next to the driver, as we head to the building where we'll be staying during our time in New York. Namjoon is second-in-command, my right hand. He oversees the daily operations and has the authority to make important decisions on my behalf. I trust him completely. His father was also my father's underboss and was killed by the same people who killed mine. Seokjin, on the other hand, is a Caporegime and also a doctor, responsible for leading small groups within the mafia. He commands the soldiers and ensures my orders are carried out. His father was my father's Caporegime, but he's too old to continue in that role.

— Ross Lexington died in 2015. —  Namjoon comments, looking at the tablet in his hands. I stop drinking my whiskey and stare at him.

— Why didn't I know about this? — I ask, with a harsh tone.

— Nobody knew. — He responds, looking back at me. — I had to investigate. There's a lot of strange stuff in this story, and whoever hid it did a great job.

I knew Ross had an heir, but I remember he never mentioned whether it was a man or a woman. Over time, our relationship became strictly professional, especially after my father's death. Ross handled his responsibilities flawlessly, without raising any questions. No one who worked for the Lexingtons, not even my informant, warned me about Mr. Ross's death.

— Who's in charge of Lexington Corporation now? — Namjoon looks back at the tablet.

— Lauren Lexington, Ross's only daughter.

Namjoon tilts the tablet in my direction, and I see a picture of a redhead with medium curly hair, eyes as green as leaves, flashing a radiant smile while holding two cats: a white Angora and a gray, black, and white American Wirehair. I admit, the image of this woman, who might be stealing my money and turning my associates into enemies, sent a strange chill down my spine.

I smiled, because it was hard to believe that a cat lover was deceiving me.

— It's going to be a pleasure to meet her.

[hel-phoenyx]

New Year's Eve, part 15 (we're nearing March but shhhhh)

An ongoing story with @corneille-but-not-the-author and @soupedepates

I'm sat at my desk, like every days since forever. Cops don't get sick leav for emotional turmoil now, do they. Would be better if they did. Less sickos in the police.

Not even in the mood to be snarky. Amandine commented on how scarce my witty remarks (well, she called that insults and sarcasm) became, and the new one, Dal, I call him Dal, is looking at me weird. He kinda is the only one I talk to because he's the only one not mentioning this shitty rumor.

Job's getting hard. I have files after files to take care of now that Sigismund's on sick leave, Walpurgis told me that since I was the one patrolling with him the most this days I had to pick up the slack the most efficiently. Ha. Just try to shower me in work, I see you, bastard.

It worked the first few days. Took care of the investigation with the sect, talked with Iekaterina le Patriote, Found some leads, but nothing tangible. Then the work started to die down.

And I had no one to talk through the idle.

I open my Instagram. Hector has a new picture. It's him smiling with a giant hot chocolate (that man always had a sweet tooth), probably sitting on a stool since his head is at the same level as Tyr's. Tyr who is sticking his tongue at the camera with a bored expression, his prosthesis stuck in the middle finger.

He's wearing one of those silly shirts he always had on at some point. This one is saying "Autistic powered fuck machine". Way to give a message.

The caption reads "Since mister @/deepseadragon didnt want to go suit shopping with me I'm taking him out of his man cave to drink and he has no choice. Getting tattoos at my shop after that #diy #ifoneofmycolleaguestrytotouchhimiwillbite #nohiddenmeaningiswear". Hector, my man, you are so not subtle I am surprise he still hasn't realised you crush on him since literal middle school.

Well, this is Tyr we are talking about, are we ?

Something taps on my desk. It's Amandine. She's looking at me with her cold eyes. Again.

"Slacking off ?"

"Shut up."

"Wow. No insults this time. You really are unwell, huh ?"

I snarl.

"Why do you care ?"

Eye roll. What, really ?

"Not everyone is out to get you, Wolffsen."

She leaves with that. Right. Not everyone out to get me. Like I will believe that.

Why am I alone if it's the case ?

My phone rings. Oh, it's Idalia. Saying where I saw her the first time would get me immediate prison, people don't do well with blackblockers. But we kept in touch after that. Got her out of a few situations before Walpurgis thought I got too lenient with her. Saw her ex-wife and kid once, tired woman, scared child. Neither of them liked seeing a cop. Can understand that.

"Hey, my man, haven't seen you in events in a while. U good ?"

Sigh. Don't want to, but I should probably explain myself before I lose my "mole" card to her. She would rat me out to the whole group immediatly and guess who would get beaten up by former comrades, forget about the fact I'm giving them all the intel they need ?

"eeeeeeeh, bad couple of months and too tired to care. Still giving intel when I can dw"

"Yeah, got it. Need to vent ? what about your friend, the blonde giant you told me about ?"

"giving me the cold shoulder. did bullshit."

"Damn, tough. can lend you mine if you want."

That kid in political science that hates cops and right-wing politicians except for the future one he wants to fuck ? Met him on some barricades, didn't like him at all. He has the good ideas and actions but his personnality irates me.

I have a grim laugh. Not a damn chance.

"HA ! no."

"lmao I'm not listening to you. Have my own problems. But yk what, can give you the contact info of my therapist. Zuza says it's good when people are payed to hear your bullshit."

A therapist, huh...

May be a good idea, after all.

ironic I'll be the first Wolffsen to see a therapist. The older brothers would be so pissed. Then again, I am a cop, so even though I bring money on the table, and a good amount with that, they have their syrian pride. Can respect that. Can also respect being a disgrace in their eyes for anything I'll do. Always been singled out anyway.

Alright.

Let's look in searching for a therapist.

Later in the day Hector's second instagram post shows a tattoo design, a dragon curled against a leg, his head resting on the ankle. His professional account shows the same but with effects and without the second slide, a blonde man smiling for the first time since forever.

[desceros]

Okay I have something of a long post/ask/critical analysis of Symphony AU that I want to address. you're free to ignore it if I'm just spouting off insane copium. Or whatever you want to do with it lol. This is more about the turtles that about the Violist.

First I'm gonna talk about Donnie because he's arguably the easiest one to talk about. And take less time. He spent at the very least 15 years of his life knowing exactly five people, three brothers, his dad, and a bestie/pseudo big sister. They're all people who completely understand/grew up with him. And he's used to people adapting to his needs without having to say anything because he's, well, they're brother/son. Speaking from a purely canon standpoint in Rise you can see it, Raph refuses to tell Donnie they hate his gifts because it'll crush him. Stuff like that. Leo calling him a "weirdo" doesn't really mean much of anything considering he's Donnie's brother, and this is about pineapple on pizza.

This is all to say I see how Donnie just didn't bother communicating this was all for his touch experiment. As far as he's basically aware, she already knew. He wasn't going to read between the lines because he'd grown accustomed to the way his brothers, April, and dads act. Which, in hindsight, bit him in the ass because the violist literally doesn't know him aside from "purple turtle science man".

So. I get him. I get where he's coming from even if it ended up kinda fucking up the violist. That's all part of the learning curve of knowing people who don't already know who you are and whatever.

Now for Leo, maybe this is REALLY just me on my copium life support but I see where he's coming from too. Again, when you look at it from a canon lens I see where Leo is coming from. He's always been protective of his family, even more so than Raph at points. He didn't trust Big Mama immediately, even though the rest of his brothers did. He was perfectly willing and happy to DIE IN THE PRISON DIMENSION to keep his family safe. Like, let's not forget he, as well as the others, has a ton of unchecked trauma that he's definitely not willing to address to anyone. A decade of unaddressed trauma will do things to someone's psyche, intentionally or not. The guilt of almost killing his brothers has been festering inside him for over a decade now, this doesn't really seem entirely like a "my brother touches you and not me >:(" thing.

The way I see it Leo's acting out because he's actually just terrified of someone hurting his family again. It's definitely not okay, and it's condemnable. But as someone who's done some pretty fucked shit when I was dealing with my depression before meds, I've been Leo before. That man needs help, and fast.

We've also seen, from Symphony AU that he's mostly accepted the violist as part of the family now. The comments he makes about her being "Donnie's toy" are, again, things he seems to be saying to get a rise out of Donnie. We know he's been doing that for a while. And I wouldn't really put it past him for continuing to try and do it now that Donnie's not allowed to do his experiments anymore.

I had a way better way of wording this last night but I ended up watching TMNT 1987 instead but to summarize my thoughts, I sympathize with both Leo and Donnie and don't believe either of them are irredeemable monsters. If I'm somehow wrong about Leo and this is all just conduit to getting Donnie and the violist together then I'm gonna be so :(. Mafuyu Main Story chapter 14 even.

Or, again, maybe I'm just coping lol.

oh i'm all about symphony copium. breathe deep, anon-chan, hahahaha

aaaaand in true desceros fashion this got way too long so i'm tucking it under a cut. rolls eyes at myself soooooo hard

you're largely correct, though i will specify that for donnie it's not that he "didn't bother" to communicate what he thought was going on, so much as he thought he did.

i invite you-slash-everyone to read this passage from when the agreement was struck to see what i mean. i've removed all of viola-chan's thoughts and interpretations for you, and left you with just the core of the conversation, color-coded for clarity on who's speaking:

“We have… exhausted the limits of touching that I would perform with most people.”  [...] “…What do you mean?”  “I mean that all of the myriad mechanical touches I have experienced so far in my life, we’ve covered together. [...] I’ve become completely enured to them all, so long as you’re the one doing them. There is, of course, an obvious next step, but I wanted to discuss it before we begin.”  “To… touches you haven’t done?” [...] “Correct." [...] “I… don’t understand." [...] “I’m referring to more… intimate touches. We’ve… already been pushing at the boundary a bit, so I wanted to be very specific and clear." [...]

“I… take it you don’t scent your brothers.” “No, I don’t." [...] “Donnie, I—[...] I like you. You know that, right?”  “You aren’t very good at hiding it, no. [...] I, of course, like you as well, though I’d like to think that has been well demonstrated over our time together.”

[...]"…Intimate touches. [...] Like… what, petting? Kissing? Sex? What are we talking about, exactly?”  “All of it, ideally. [...] I’m quite curious to study how I’ll react, especially considering the whole touch aversion situation.” [...] “…Do… Do you wanna try it? [...] …Us, together, I mean?”  [...] “Really? With… With me?” [...] “Of course, I—[...]Donnie, I… of course. I’d be stupid to say no, right?” “Oh, that’s such a relief. [...] I’ve been making spreadsheets of things I’ve wanted to try for several days and wondering how best to bring it up, especially considering—well. It’s quite helpful that you did so yourself. Excellent work, consultant.” [...] “Well, I’d like to amend our agreement on how turtle time is going to go, from now on in light of all this, [...] We’re partners, now, so we have to take care of each other. [...]” “[...]Very well. If those are your terms for partnership, I accept.”

see how differently it reads without viola-chan's thoughts staining it? stripped of her thoughts, you can easily see where the miscommunication happened. other than a few incidental pieces of dialogue that don't affect the meaning of the convo, this is it.

in donnie's mind, he and viola-chan were very much on the same page. "partnership". "agreement". these are words that viola-chan uses. when he refers to spreadsheets, she just rolls with it. as far as he's concerned, they're talking about a scientific study here. he did communicate, and well. it's just... viola-chan put things there that he didn't. and that's not her fault, because at this point she hasn't picked up on how to communicate with donnie yet. and it's completely rational to assume, when discussing sex and romance and hearing someone say "i like you"--and then going on to kiss and have sex with that person--that it's a romantic relationship. as stated in the fic, my personal opinion (which to be clear, as someone who stands on death of the author, this *is* just my opinion) neither of them did the other ill. they literally just didn't know how to communicate yet. so i 100% agree with you on being able to see donnie's side of this. i have another long-ass ask somewhere in the meta tag discussing the lack of socializing specifically, if you're curious for more of my thoughts on that.

i also agree with you largely with the leo portion of your analysis. i... can't go into as much detail on his side of things, but rest assured that before everything is over, viola-chan and leo are going to have more than one conversation. and the two of them, despite everything, really do mesh well and talk about things, so it'll be a satisfying resolution, i think.

anyway WOW that got way too long but teal deer, i agree and love deep meta-analysis of my stuff so don't apologize in the slighest, yeehaw

[rocks-d-xerxes]

Dead Luffy AU

part _two_

Author notes

Soooo... Two posts in one time, in the same hour, some must be thinking, how can she write so fast? Well, it's cuz I write it in my note pad and then I put it here, except for the notes and small talks I do... Like this one.

Okay so this chapter is about how Ace would mourn after Luffy's death and how devastated he would be.

Summary

Marco drags Ace out of his bedroom after Ace slept for three whole day, that didn't bother Marco, what bothered him was that when he went to try and get Ace to wake up, Ace told Marco that wants to sleep forever. Marco panicked thinking that his brother will become suicidal if he keeps being this way, so he clutches Ace with his talones, flies to the nearest deserted island and drops Ace to the ground.

Marco: “Ace, stop being an idiot, everyone knows how hard it'll be for you to forget, or even heal for that matter! But you need to try! For Luffy's sake! He wouldn't have wanted you to be this way!”

This is how I imagine Ace replying.

“Tell me Marco, how do you want me to forget? When all my memories were written in his light? How do you want me to fight it? When he was the one that loved it? Loved my darkness, my hatred, my sadness, my anger, my existence, with every ounce of his soul and heart.

How do you want me to heal? when he was the one that filled my scared wounds with golden smiles, he filled them to the brim with the stars that came from his loving eyes that it made me forget what the scars looked like.

How do you want me to live? Knowing that he died keeping a promise I vowed. I told him I'll never die, yet I was going to, right then and there, just for his light to shine forever, how do you want me to live knowing he died to keep a life I did not cherish? to keep my heart alive? A heart that never learned nor knew how to love him back! A heart he helped me restore from my own darkness.

..... Tell me Marco, does the sun shine because of the flames surrounding it? Or does the flames shine because of the sun keeping them close to its heart? The sun merely reflects its light on the moon. Without it, the moon will stop shining, it'll never be warm again.

Tell me Marco, how much does the flames surrounding the sun have left? How much time do they have left to shine when the sun's heart has been extinguished. How many days can they stay in the darkness of the night? Alone? Blazing with the smallest amount of might they have left, just to have the moon shine over the stars? Just to give other people light? No... No... No

The answer is, no.

They won't shine for long enough, they won't be strong enough, they'll never reflect on the moon again, they'll never shine again.

The heart is dead... How can the veins still give blood? To who do they give it? Themselves? No, they were never taught to do that.

The sun taught them how to shine around its heart, and then left them alive to shine.. That's too cruel.. It's too cruel Marco

To give the flames so, so, so much love, all at once, to make them know the most beautiful type of love in the world in a few sweet sentences.. And to then.. Just.. Leave them to try and find something that can replace it? But I don't want anyone to replace it! I don't anyone to give me the same type of love Luffy gave me! I want Luffy to love me! I want him to be the one giving me that love!

You don't understand! He knows!..... He KNEW how much of an awful person I was! Yet he still smiled at me, yet he still called me brother! Yet he still kissed my forehead when asleep! He didn't stop putting my head on his chest when asleep to let me always remember his heartbeats! He let me love his heartbeats, and then made me sleep on them like they were the deepest part of the WHOLE ENTIRE SEA where no one will ever reach me! No one to make me see hate, no one to make me see anything other than his love..

It wasn't fair that he died, he was a child! My baby brother! he was KIND! He was GOOD! And they killed him!

Hey DIED.. Happy, cause he knew, he gave me love, he knew you'll take care of me..

How kind can he be? To die on a battlefield of strangers and death? And then claim them a family worthy of my happiness? HIS happiness? Our happiness?

It isn't fair, I still wanted to love him.. I wanted to love him more.. I don't wanna know what it feels like to not have his love.. Not to be love by him for the rest of my life..

He always looked so, so beautiful in red, that's why he always wore it, why did he have to die in red too? All of my happiest memories of him, are of him wearing red, how can I even enjoy those knowing that I'll always remember the fact that he died in red too, staining his hands, his hat, his lips..

Why between everything else in my life, this had to be the one of most tragedies in it, all at once.”

Ace's flames twisted and turned as Marco watched from below.. The island was sinking, the flames were eating the root of the island itself, he had never seen Ace create such a flame. It was dark, dark red with black marks surrounding it and twirling around the dark red parts of the flames. Ace was crying, his eyes shedding endless tears as his eyes seemed to be staring at the void in a disassociated manner.. Marco sighed, his heart broke for his brother as he started to fly closely to the sinking land of endless flames that couldn't be put down even by the sea water. Readying himself to pick Ace up and take him back to the Moby dick.

[evita-shelby]

They didn't know we were seeds

Chapter 16

Cw: grief, mentions of rage, prostitution, pedophilia

Heaven belongs to @call-sign-shark

@justrainandcoffee @emotionalcadaver @peakyswritings

She cleans the wounds in his hands and holds him as he mourns his niece.

Drunk with whiskey and grief, he is only a shell of the man she loves. He is broken, in ways hardly a few mentors have been. Not many survive it either, suicides were high amongst the victors even the careers for a reason.

Jack sleeps with her in her floor until the games are officially over. His room was too wrecked, and neither she nor Lyme could trust that he wouldn’t hurt himself in his pain.

Heaven wins on the third evening, with a staggering number of kills that thrill the Capitol.

Eva’s heard the eldest of Shelby’s brothers will be rewarded for his loyalty the same way Luca was rewarded with her. She can’t help but sympathize for the girl knowing she’ll have no choice but to join the roster or risk seeing her family die because of her.

You never win these things, you’re just stuck in the arena for the rest of your life, Eva thinks to herself as she holds Jack after his nightmares like she’s done these past three nights.

The morning after the games end, the avox assigned to Eva comes with Jack’s clothes and a note.

President Snow summons her before lunch, and she’d be a fool to even wonder why.

Jack had told her about that last argument with Gina where he had admitted to what they knew not to confirm. Nothing incriminating had been said, she knows for a fact what he told her in the gym hasn’t been reported and this life has made her into a good liar.

Eva is taken to a greenhouse, a beautiful thing filled to the brim with roses. It is a wonderland of colors and forms only the Capitol can have.

There are simple white roses like the ones Tigris had her wear. They don’t stand out here beyond being the favorites of Snow.

“I see you recognize them from your own games. My cousin knew what they meant to me and sought to hurt me.” He speaks as if they were more than master and servant.

“I inferred that by the way you hid it when you saw it on Dustin’s lapel…and by giving Jack the chance he needed to kill me.” Eva doesn’t play dumb, it’s not her way of playing these things. “Mistakes of your youth coming back to bite you, I supposed.”

She is dying to say Lucy Gray Baird coming back to haunt you. But she isn’t here for that, to play her card right now wouldn’t gain anything.

The words have him change the topic and get to it.

“Your unorthodox relationship with Iacobus has raised many concerns. Mr. Shelby believes as long as the rest of the districts hate District 2 we are in no danger.” Snow doesn’t beat around the bush, something Eva is thankful for.

There is a straightforwardness he shares with Tigris, only where it is comforting with her former Stylist it is deadly with him.

“People find it, what is the word, unpalatable. I killed his brother to win and named our child after him. Too macabre to inspire anything but disgust.” Eva grows brave enough to touch the white rose sporting shades of pink thanks to the acidity of its soil.

An unwanted flaw in the sea of perfection. Snow’s likely to prune it to keep it from destroying the image he portrays.

He'd prune them from existence if he knew what they were truly up to.

“Is that why you try to foster friendships between the tributes by those last day of training parties?”

Ah so that was part of it too! He couldn’t have someone show that the districts can unite for one goal. Heavensbee had said Jack and Eva being together were a threat to Snow’s order but could never be the symbol of the rebellion. The rebellion needed someone cleaner, a newer victor who didn’t have the blood of her lover’s brother in her hands.

“Started out as way to get Finnick and Annie one last date, but the children forget this is a punishment for their forbearers’ sins for a moment and sends them a little more relaxed into the arena with a hope maybe they will be the ones to go home.” Eva answers honestly, doesn’t have much to hide. “As you know humanely treated livestock produces tastier meat than its opposite. tributes who have hope and time to form alliances and even romances with fellow tributes produce better games, as you’ve seen.”

It is a disgusting thing to say, but makes Snow remember how much the Capitol loved Eva and Laurie’s ill-fated romance. There was even fanfiction about it, weird tales about her and him in their last days. Too many people had wanted them to fuck when they broke away from the rest of the career pack apparently.

The drama of friends going from fighting for each other to fighting each other gives ratings, star-crossed lovers dying to save the other or killing the other as well.

Jack’s pain and anguish had the Capitol bet against Heaven in hopes Marius could avenge the little girl on whose corpse he spread breadcrumbs on as was tradition in their district. They had lost their money, wept when Marius lost to the girl, but gave Eva the thing she needed to convince the President what she was doing was only her patriotic duty.

She hates herself for it.

“Your idea has merit; these past games have had higher ratings than their predecessors. I may be inclined to keep the practice for a price, Miss Smith.” Snow delicately cuts the rose she had touched and offers it to her.

“Some clients do not like women who have given birth.” Eva knows exactly what he wants. She was in high demand still, she was enigmatic and sexy, fond of revealing outfits and very well trained in fucking.

“They won’t be able to tell once the surgeons are done with you, dear.” He gives a smile as dangerous as snake oil, the blood on his sore tinging it like the nature he hides.

Snow knows Jack hates it and seeks to drive a wedge between them.

Smart man. Too bad it won’t work.

It’s a shit deal.

He tells her so and yet she comes home without a single hint of ever having nurtured their baby inside her.

Jack hates it, more than he hates how they cover up her freckles with makeup and make him wax off his body hair to fit their idea of beauty. Hates how his room had not a single sign that he had demolished it with his own fists and the metal floor lamp.

Laurie was the physical manifestation of their rebellion against Snow and his freak show, Eva’s ticket off the auction block and his reason for rebelling. His reason to live now.

To let herself be put back in that place for the sake of a fucking party for kids is a bad fucking deal. What if its not enough? What if Snow begins to demand more? What if one of those fuckers decides they want more than just some nights with her?

“I don’t need him to suspect anything about all this, they took Gina and will stop at nothing to take Laurie if we don’t dance to his tune.” Eva reminds him. “He knows we’re a threat, but if we do as he says he will believe he has won and fuck off for a while.”

Snow had taken Gina from him and knew Jack wouldn’t be able to handle Eva being forced to submit to anyone else. Jack had endured his fair share of torments with the people who bought him, he hated to see and even witness how people treated his Eva, his wife, like a fucking toy.

He’d kill them all if he could.

Perhaps that is what Snow wants, for Jack to lose what little restraint he has left and give them a reason to put him out of his misery like Titus from the last games.

Which is why they must run to 13 before Plutarch Heavensbee kills them all waiting for his fucking symbol. On the next shipment, he has to go with them, perfect the passage and see how he can get his family out here before Snow stops trusting Shelby.

It’s the only way.

[curious-l1ght]

I am now in the headspace where if I don't know your tumblr I will go through your blog.

My trust has just dissapeared.

Never thought I'd experience this. This is the shit that I see in those video essays, can't believe I've actually kind of experienced it.

Its always like: "Oh, that's terrible! I hope that never happens to me. I hope those victims/people who were hurt/people who went through it get better and find peace!"

So it gets worse. It gets really worse. This wasn't exactly supposed to be a vent but it all went downhill.

I talk about suicide and self harm in this.

I hate how she was the one who really got me into Doors. I hate how she was the first person I considered a friend. I hate how that inside joke is ruined now. I hate how she got me familiar with so many things. I hate how I felt bad for her. I hate the fact that I thought I felt like I could relate to her medically. I hate the fact that she was the one who I went to for help. I hate how I asked her for help when I was suicidal. I hate how I relied on her. I hate that I have so many memories with her in them. I hate how I thought we were best friends. I hate how manipulative she is. I hate how she hurt so many people. I hate her

I HATE HER SHITTY APOLOGIES. I HATE HOW THE "APOLOGY" SHE GAVE ME WAS MASSIVE AND FILLED WITH LIES AND MANIPULATION TACTICS. I HATE HOW SHE TRIED TO GUILT TRIP US. I HATE HOW SHE FAKED THINGS THAT PEOPLE GENUINELY SUFFER FROM. I FUCKING HATE HER AND I JUST WANT TO FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.

SHE KNOWS IM SUICIDAL. SHE KNOWS THAT I HAVE HURT MYSELF, DOESNT SHE?! SHE JUST FUCKING LOVES TO MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE. EVER SINCE LAST YEAR, EVERYTHING HAS BEEN RUINED. HEART SURGERY, CUDA PASSING AWAY, HIGHSCHOOL, IRL FRIENDS THAT HURT ME, GETTING TOLD IM MATURE FOR MY AGE, WANTING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF, LOSING MOTIVATION FOR EVERYTHING, LEARNING THE ONLY GOOD FRIENDS I HAVE ARE SUFFERING IN THEIR OWN WAYS AND ME WANTING TO HELP THEM BUT I CANT, AND NOW THIS?!

THATS ALL I COULD THINK OF! THERES PROBABLY MORE! I JUST WANT TO TEAR MYSELF APART AND KILL MYSELF BUT IM TOO FUCKING SCARED TO DIE. IF I DIDNT HAVE ALL OF THESE FEARS I CAN BET YOU ID BE GONE BY NOW.

I'm sorry that I have to rely on so many people in order to not lose it. I wish I didn't have to rely on everyone and make their day worse by bringing her up.

Just fucking leave us alone, selfish asshole.

This wasn't meant to be massive. It was just meant to be everything until I started saying how much I hate things.

I won't be killing myself any time soon. I can't do it because I know how many people would be devastated to see me gone. I had to experience my brother trying, and even though it wasn't successful, I'm still heartbroken from it. That was years ago, too.

Thank you to the people who have been helping me.

I will continue to help others and keep an eye out.

I will make sure people block her.

Just. Block. Her.

[jhrutvija]

People often ask me what it's like being me. They think I have some sort of superpowers and maybe I do but the weight of responsibility that comes with it is so heavy it weighs me down to the point I can feel my neck crushing. I will let u in on my secret I forget things little things ,sad things, happy things, major shit trauma things, I don't know its a curse or a blessing some say it's blessing because even after going through the most gut wrenching ,heart numbing situations I don't remember them at all ,just little bits and parts of it but I like to think it's curse because I want to remember exaxtly how I felt over who made me feel that way ,I want to keep record of every emotion I go through because trust me when u feel the most powerful sensation of lost and hurt its a punch in the gut when u only remember the feeling of hurt not the words that were responsible. So curse it is and this curse has been with me since I was child every time I felt inadequate or stupid or if some kid bullied me and I cried for hours I only remember how I felt in that moment not what the kid said or what his words were which made me cry or who made me feel inadequate or stupid. I don't remember those words only the sensations I'd gone through when it happened and then people assume I wasn't hurt with their words and when they ask which one the things they said did the hurting that is when I can't name them because I lost the memory or don't have any recollection of those exact specific words which hurt me so much I wanted to self harm for forgetting it.

Everyday is a struggle People think I am lazy for not doing my daily chores or if I forget tiny little details which a normal person wouldn't, now tell me how do I explain to u that it's all up in my brain chemistry that of I get signals over there to remember I'll remember every shit u tell me but if I get signals over to skip some details then I won't, it's not in my hand ,if it was I would live a  normal  life like every single one of u where there isn't a constant voice in my head  telling me how it's the world that hates me and I should just die and free the world of my stupidity 

So you people need to know it's something beyond my capacity to explain how it's like being me in short terms you'd die or kill yourself if you were me for just an hour but here I am still very much alive and very much breathing but barely but everything I am doing is happening on its own and I am trying to cope up with it but then if one day my brain shuts off and it decides it's all too much for me to handle and I give up ,don't come over my grave and whisper how it all happened when there were signs right in front of you but you just ignored them because I was too much to handle or it was a waste of time and energy trying ti explain every shit to me or how it's hard to constantly reassure how me being different is something you'd change rather than accept and love me for me the way I was born, don't go up to my parents on my funeral  asking what was the reason, when those reasons were screaming at you asking for help and you just neglected them right in front of my face,  don't go over to my brother asking if there is something you can do because you didn't do shit when it was needed the most, you were just too busy in your own stuff that u looked over my misery and probably laughed behind my back don't go over my grave where  my lifeless body lies and say I wish you were still here ,when in reality I was right there with you trying to understand your troubles,  helping you and so much in love with you that you ignored that I was struggling too I wanted  to give up too but you were so engrossed in your own self that u didn't even care to ask me that if I needed some help because I did I needed so much help but I was too ashamed to ask too guilty because I loved u so much and didn't feel like adding more of my dumb shit over the real ones of yours but guess whose was the real and deep one that it made u attend my funeral not over after living a long happy life like you'd promised me once but in the young youthful time where people discover themselves whilst living their life at, that I took my life just because there wasn't anyone here to listen how loud it had gotten in my head that I'd gone deaf and still could hear it over and over , the only way I'd find some peace was in my grave where it was cold I'd always loved cold It's the  heat i hated and finally I'd had something I'd loved to accompany me in that box where I'll lie down in peace ,so I guess in the end it all turned out good, you got rid of the girl who loved you like it was breathing who was too much for you to handle .I'd finally get to sleep in a sumber with no noise screeching in my head instead feeling chill cold and peace…………………

                ~ hrutvija

                                                                                                                   ~hrutvija 

[troublesjunkyard]

Trouble, I kinda feel like an asshole.

Over the time I've been on Tumblr, (almost a year) I've gotten quite a few asks (over multiple accounts) from random people asking me to donate money to them for whatever reason.

I usually just delete the asks and move on with life, but I'm starting to get really tired of them.

There's about a 50% chance that they are just trying to scam, and the other 50% of them are actually struggling and need the money.

But those random people who randomly select my ask box annoy me a lot.

Like, I get it, you're struggling, but so am I!

I can barely afford to take care of myself and you want me to donate money (that I don't have) to you?

I'm struggling just as much as you are but you don't see me randomly selecting askboxs to ask for donations.

Then again, I hate asking for help.

That's part of the reason I have such a hard time at school.

Because when it comes down to it, I feel like a burden when I ask for help; whether I'm asking for help with my math or something more important like a bad injury.

If I fell down a 10-foot hole and couldn't get out without help, I would probably die in that hole because I didn't want to ask someone for help because I would feel like I was an inconvenience and a burden.

Anyway, I got off-topic.

Do you think I'm an asshole for getting annoyed at the donation asks?

My worries come from the people who send asks and are actually struggling.

I probably shouldn't be so harsh about it, but as I stated, I'm struggling too.

Maybe not in the same way that they are, but struggling I am.

I want them to stop sending me those donation asks, and I feel horrible about it.

I don't know why either.

Maybe it's because I've seen firsthand with people struggling- my brother, Tylre, he was in a tough spot; he didn't have any money, and he had a toddler and an infant to take care of.

My mom took in Tylere, Shay, (his girlfriend) and their two kids.

She didn't ask him to pay her money for staying there.

My mom took in him and his family for free so that he could get a new job and save up to move out on his own again.

Tylre has moved back in and moved out at least 3 times since the first time he moved out after becoming an adult.

My brother Alex has moved back in and moved out 2 times since the first move out.

I've seen firsthand of people struggling; and not just any people but family members.

And my mom has always been there to help them, even when she herself is having a hard time.

...

Why do I feel so bad about this?

Why do I feel so bad about not wanting people to throw donation asks into my askbox?

Is it because I've seen firsthand of people struggling?

Or is it another reason entirely?

Oh.

See, I typed all this out, then checked my notifications.

When I clicked on your ask, I half expected it to delete all of this.

I wasn't actually expecting it to put me right back here with all of this still typed out after I hit post on your ask.

...

Oh well. :/

Hey Dakota, I still hope you're okay.

First of all, I can understand your struggle. It's hard to see if something is a scam or someone who really struggles. I always look up if this person is a vetted donation. At least it's what helps me with deciding.

Second of all, don't forget you're a minor. Some things are hard for you to manage or to help. You don't really own your own money.

And your family is struggling. You don't have the resources to help even if you want to help.

That don't makes you a bad person. Just because you can't donate doesn't mean that you don't care. So no, you're not an asshole.

You're feeling bad because you know how it is to be at the limit. At least it's how I see it in your text. You guilt tripping yourself.

Please look out for your mental health because I can read how this affects you... Talk if it gets too much. You know where to find me.

Take care and try to get some sleep

(^-^)/💜

[livia-dovehallow]

Hii! Can I ask what is your opinion of Grace right now?

Hi! Of course you can! (And as a forewarning, my use of "you" throughout this answer is in the general sense and not at all directed to you specifically, anon!)

I'll try to keep this spoiler-free, as this is an overall opinion throughout all the books.

At the start, I was generally indifferent to her, as she was really only around to further James's plot and I am not a fan of James (or the main love triangle at all. I despise love triangles).

But, once we started getting more of her separate from that toward the end of Chog and throughout ChoI, I think she's a seriously misunderstood character and people are quick to hate and spewing their hate all across the fandom and in the Grace Blackthorn tag.

No, Grace is not meant to be a perfect character. She is not even meant to be a good character (in terms of good v evil). She is purposely meant to parallel Estella from Great Expectations but offer her side of the story in addition to the other (which we don't get of Estella in Great Expectations. This isn't a spoiler for Great Expectations considering this book is literally almost 150+ years old.)

We're meant to see an admittedly toned-down depiction of a girl who has been seriously emotionally abused and neglected, had her beloved brother die horribly in her arms, and has no memory of her birth family--only of her sick, twisted adoptive mother. We're meant to see how she has felt she needed to do these things to survive. She's a sixteen/seventeen year old girl; we seriously cannot expect her to have the most seamless, foolproof decision making skills. We obviously know Tatiana does not have a seamless, foolproof decision making ability. You really expect me to think she taught Grace any?

Grace made bad choices. Grace hurt people. Are we meant to sympathize with her? Well, that's where it's reader's interpretation. But I certainly think she's not meant to be villainized. More of a morally gray character, who did both good and bad things to survive because she felt she had to.

Do we see her come to recognize the difference between those good and bad things at the end of Chain of Iron? Sure, we see the start of it. But we can't honestly expect her to make up for everything she did in a one week time span that is the break between Chain of Iron and Chain of Thorns.

Nor, do I think, are we meant to forgive her either. That's also reader's interpretation/choice. I'll leave that to you all to decide for yourselves once you read Chain of Thorns. Whether you think she got what she deserved or didn't is literally entirely reader's choice.

But I do get pretty annoyed when I see people use certain words, phrases, and descriptions of Grace. I think calling Grace a r*pist is beyond inappropriate. That's a serious thing to call someone. What she did to Matthew is definitely assault. But I think the fandom often forgets that r*pe is a serious, serious thing and is not something to be thrown around lightly or just because you hate a character. This is a terrible thing that happens to too many people and just throwing it around all the time like that isn't doing any favors to fellow fans who have experiences or triggers of it.

I certainly can tell you that there are many fans who feel as though they can identify with Grace because they, too, grew up with an abusive parent or felt pressured into doing things they didn't necessarily want to do because it was the only way they could see to survive. Not all victims of abuse are perfectly docile and innocent like I think many people like to believe. No two victims are the same. Some may grow up able to cope well. Others do not. Many, I'm sure, what stood exactly where Grace has--at a crossroads of survival instinct and recovery. Some have made bad choices themselves just as much as they've made good choices. Some more than others.

You all remember that I went to the Chain of Thorns tour. There was one fan who described this exact feeling of identifying with Grace because her own mother was abusive and neglectful. She said she never expected to see a character like Grace in a YA novel because of the dark undertones of that kind of experience. Like I mentioned earlier, it is an admittedly toned-down description since it is a YA book, but there is always someone out there who can identify with that character in one way or another.

Also, Grace is a fictional character. I have seen many of you who have said terrible things about Grace turn around and love the villains of other books who do terrible things, too. Is it because Grace is a girl? Is it because you may have found yourself a bit too in love with the fictional James Herondale? Whatever the reason, take a minute to reflect on why it is you feel the need to spew hate about a fictional character and threaten people whose opinions differ from yours.

I have had several people come to me on here, both in asks and in chats, telling me that for the longest time, they did not feel safe talking about Grace at all on any platform because they would be attacked in all directions for it. That is not how a fandom should be. That is not a fandom at all. That is a terribly isolating experience that someone who has sought comfort in these books or just simply enjoys a character should not have to be subjected to because you think your opinion is morally superior.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just sounding too much like a grandma when I say things like this because I know I'm of the older crowd of TSC fans but you're not cool just because you attack people online. Having a moral superiority complex does not make you cool. The world is not black and white. Things are not as simple and good and bad. And you certainly do not have a right to spew hateful, rude, abhorrent things to people who may think differently than you do.

An anon said this in a previous ask about Grace, and I fully agree: liking Grace doesn't mean you condone everything she did or approve of anything she did. It just means you like a fictional character, for whatever reasons.

I've fully moved off my indifferent opinion of Grace and have moved toward finding that I think her character is incredibly more complex than I ever really gave thought to before and I think she's terribly mistreated by fans. Whether I think she's mistreated by the narrative, too, well, you'll have to read my spoiler-filled answers to previous asks to find out.

But that is my extremely long, elaborative answer on my opinion of Grace, and I hope that answers your question, anon (or at least addresses what you wanted me to talk about)!

...

This is also a reminder to any new followers of mine (welcome!) that I am a legal adult. I am 23 years old, almost 24. If there are topics I discuss or write about that make you uncomfortable, you do not have to read them. You don't have to interact or engage with any of it at all. You're free to unfollow me if you ever feel uncomfortable. I will answer all kind/polite asks, whether they contain adult content or not, though I will always tag accordingly.

Anything I write that contains even a hint of adult content will always be tagged as such and I will not write any explicit content of under-age characters. (Since I mostly write about Gabrily, I tend to focus on their early years of marriage if a piece references adult concepts at all).

[kitkatwinchester]

OMG I'VE MISSED MY BOYS!! <3 <3

STILES'S AND ISAAC'S BANTER I CANNOT!! XD XD <3 <3

"I'm just saying--" "Isaac we are not going to torture her." "I meant scare her." "We are not going to psychologically torture her either!"

"Listen to the sounds around you." "Yep. Listen to the sounds around you." "Listen to the silence." "Just listening to the silence." "Okay, will you just let me handle this, Isaac? Please? I just, I have more experience with Banshees." "Yeah, and mental patients." *glares*

And let's not forget Stiles trying to explain away their situation by calling Meredith his girlfriend, only to have her call Isaac her type instead. ("Okay...Isaac can come too.") XD XD XD

I FREAKING LOVE THEM SO MUCH!! I HAVE MISSED THIS!!

I know that Daniel Sharman leaves the show after this season and I'm so sad about it, because I love him and his character so much and I'm really gonna miss him, but as long as they don't kill him (which I'm pretty sure they don't), it's okay I guess. But I am gonna miss him a LOT. Especially in moments like these lol.

That said, speaking of people who are gonna die...

One of the Argents is gonna die. Calling it right now. Allison and her dad just had a really sweet bonding moment, and she just told him she loves him, and is proud of him, and is "proud of us".

Which 100% means one of them is gonna die.

And you know what? I bet it's gonna be Allison.

I bet they're gonna kill Allison.

Which is ALL KINDS OF MESSED UP, but WHAT THE F*CK EVER I GUESS.

It hasn't happened yet, so I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.

Anyways, I'm gonna move on from that.

Can we talk about that scene between Scott and his dad?

I am so freaking glad that Rafael finally told him, and while I do think that Rafael has had SOME redemption from everything he's been doing--ESPECIALLY saving Noah's job--I totally understand why Scott went off on him, and I am honestly all here for it.

Because as far as Scott is concerned, the fact that his dad just up and left him and never came back into his life until now is a lot worse than a fall down the stairs. And I totally get where he's coming from.

I also totally understand why Melissa wanted him out of the house, and I understand why Void Stiles was trying to convince her that Scott would hate her for what happened, but he never would, because ultimately, it was still Rafael's decision to never be in his son's life, and that's on him, not on Melissa. Besides, Scott could never be mad at his mom, because she's literally one of the best moms in the world, and she's always been there for him, no matter what, and that type of love and loyalty matters to Scott more than anything else.

So I appreciate that Rafael finally came clean, but I also appreciate that Scott didn't forgive him, because I think that's justified. And that was a great freaking scene.

And now we have more answers, and we have even more of a team, and we can go save Lydia, and hopefully Noshiko won't somehow screw all of that up with whatever the h*ll she's planning to do next.

Let's go save Lydia.

(I JUST LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH!! Scott has such great brothers. XD <3)

P.S. We also f*cking love Coach trusting his students and tasing the f*ck out of Brunski so that they could get Meredith out of there. I love him. We're getting a lot of Coach love this episode. I approve. <3

[moonlightperseus]

I don't know how I didn't mention the Old Guard comics tbcfh, especially since I think I only watched the movie because of you. I completely understand not liking the art style (I didn't either) but they are honestly really good- (personally, I didn't like the movie at first (I hate movies in general and I think that's why) but then I read the comics and I was like "this is great actually this is perfect." And now I like the movie).

Image also did The Walking Dead Comics, I haven't read them and I don't watch the show but just generally that's a big name for them.

The Paper Girls comics are also very good, the show doesn't really follow them? Which isn't surprising but don't be surprised. (like the scene with Mac and her brother in the car from the show? I would die for that scene, but it doesn't exist in any way shape or form in the comics)

And Saga is definitely a different Genre, It's one of the most popular like ever (to the point my shitty bookstore sells the individual issues when they come out, which it never does, and even the workers were like "we sell these?") But that's more of a general "this is a good comic" rec then a "I think you specifically would enjoy this" rec so I understand.

And I also completely understand falling out of love with comics a little. Hopefully these help. I also constantly am like "maybe I don't like comics anymore. Maybe I'm done." And then I go feral for black canary and I'm like "...nevermind."

nonny! so sorry i meant to respond to this yesterday and then ended up crashing when i got home from work and have been busy w work again today.

(decided to put the rest under the cut bc i got a bit rambly as i tend to do lmao)

its not so much "falling out of love" with comics as it is "getting distracted by life/other things" i think i enjoy media like one might enjoy some really cool rocks and make a rock collection, i can sometimes forget some of my cool rocks in my collection when presented with a New Shiny Cool rock (is this a good metaphor? idk)

also omg i was the reason u watched the old guard? im so honored 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 ngl i do wish i could read the comics just for more content & also because they do genuinely seem GOOD i just. cant get past the art for some reason i cannot explain it i just. dont vibe with it. (maybe i could give tales through time a try bc im pretty sure that had a different art style??)

i did not entirely realize there were walking dead comics, but then again i barely got thru like 1 episode of walking dead when i tried, i remember noping out of trying the show after a graphic horse death?? i think? it's definitely not my speed, ngl i think zombie media kinda freaks me out a bit in general, though its more i think bc of my fear of being Chased/Hunted ? who knows lmao maybe its not that deep

also!! during my lunch break today i read the first comic in the new bop run and i am SO intrigued by it. as soon as sin was mentioned i was FULLY invested. i am SO curious why the amazons have her i need to know more! i know some hardcore comic fans can be touchy about bop lineup not including some of the core members but i think its always fun to mix it up a little plus this particular run doesnt seem to be erasing or dismissing dinah & babs' relationship which to me is the main thing (love dinahbabs, platonically & romantically) plus i just starting reading the 2000 batgirl run with cassandra cain so its fun seeing her in it, harley's always a hoot and i love her and dinah's general dynamic throughout comics (was it in the injustice world where that panel comes from of dinah & harley talking about motherhood??) and while im not super familar with big barda and i have never heard of zealot before im excited to learn more about them! also i loved the dinahollie interaction at the beginning <33 (i am a dinah multishipper first and foremost btw) and im fascinated by this particular bit with dinah's list of, badass heroes she knows but ruled out of recruiting for whatever reasons

the first side is Barbara, Vixen, Grace Choi, Huntress, Shiva, Selina, Talia, Cheshire. shiva through cheshire being extra scribbled out is so funny to me. other side is a little harder for me to figure out, theres Onyx(i think, had to google if there was even a dc character named onyx, which turns out there is!), almost positive the next one is Katana, and then possibly Manhunter? (kate spencer), Zatanna (which man. that would of been SO cool. i love zatanna. and black canary & zatanna bloodspell was SO good love their dynamic), the next one i got nothing for, all thats visible is "Black" with the other word hidden by dinah's hand, there are a lot of potentials though it kinda maybe looks like the second word starts with an A so after a brief google search maybe black alice??? is she even in the current dc universe? and then finally there's Fire/Ice, which, love that they are a unit not to be separated! i dont know a Whole lot about that duo but from what i do know i think they should be in lesbians with each other. i cannot wait for the next addition, thank you again for putting me on this run!

i think after i finish the 2000 batgirl run i will give injustice a try, and ive also discovered some other bop runs / one offs that im not entirely sure if i've read before that i may have to try out at some point bc i love women. im also sooo tempted to bring my physical comic collection back from my parents house when i go there this weekend and lowkey tempted to reread bombshells ajdslkjga. theres so many comics i would like to read why must there be adult responsibilities such as work.

anyways hope you're having a good day/past few days!! it was a delight seeing another message from you in my inbox!! 💖💖

[mosviqu]

IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH AND I HATE ALL OF THE THINGS I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ERA THEIR HARD WORK IS NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH WAHHH

i didn't even have the motivation to check out the last song from them ngl💔💔very sad about them but maybe i will like it after watching music shows lmao i wont give up (fully) on the 03liners💔 WAITTTT TRUE HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT INTAK WHAT THE HECK I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM (and same i saw that they are having a cb and i was like:o i forgot about u guys:o) AN AMAZING CREW!!!! also would selfishly add enhypen sunoo he is a lovely 03 liner as well🥹 (idk know mcnd☹️☹️ i heard like 2-3 of their songs but i never checked them out☹️ BUT IM HAPPY THERE IS AN 03 LINER IN THERE!!!)

IT IS IMPORTANT BUT IM STILL NOT SURE IF ITS 100% TRUE😭 i love keeho so much like that was the point where i was like yeah u are going to be my fav from here!! seeing the screenshots of it still makes me laugh so much

i can imagine that😭 my sister was in the exact same situation as u💀

IT WAS!!!! dino is lovely and i would love to see u being his body guard ngl🤣 I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DIDNT DO IT💔💔just such a big heartbreak💔💔ALSO TALKING ABOUT TREASURE DID U HEAR THE SNIPPET HE POSTED OF A SONG??? it sounds very great imo

I CAN SO RELATE TO THAT!!! english is so hard without english classes i never realized that till now💔 i only talk in english with my sister but it's a mess i even just struggle to put together sentences now😭 writing my replies takes so much brain cells from me so i always just pray that u will get what i'm trying to say even if it's not correct lmao🥸 RECORDING VLOGS IS SO MUCH FUN!! i did it for a while and it was so amazing so i recommend it only sent them to my bestie but it was actually so funny😭 THE BRITISH PEOPLE GOT US REAL HARD💔

(AHHH THANK U SO MUCH;-; I APPRECIATE IT!!! HANBIN!!! I HOPE U WILL HAVE MORE MOMENTS OVER HIM LMAO HE IS VERY GREAT😌 although be careful with asking me about zbone members cuz idk three of them;-; but working on it🤞 and u can tag me or message me ofc i dont mind🥹💕) (liebestraum anon🥳💕)

LITERALLYYYY i saw a tiktok where it compared all the other dances where its a member x woman (ten or baek) and it said "so this is okay, but this isnt?" showing enha and the comments were like "we are the problem" LMAO so at least they are self-aware.

no because i was really disappointed too >:(( but the title track still slaps i said what i said. watched them perform it too and they have cute bubbly vibes i am heartbroken for the lack of interest from my side. NO BC WHEN I STARTED BIASING INTAK AND REALISED HE WAS A 03 LINER I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. ((still am a jiung girlie at heart tho). i am really excited for their cb tho it sounds amazing!!! HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT SUNOO WHAT THE FUCK AAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY he's my fav 03 liner. ((there are actually 2 03 liners in mcnd but i forgot the other one LMAO i honestly cant remember their names anymore but i had a very short mcnd phase lol. all i know is that i'd die for minjae thats all)

i would honestly be a good bodyguard bc i have a lot of rage in me. like i could fully fight someone if i was mad enough LMAOO. everything for dino baby <3 I DID SEE THE SNIPPET I LOST MY SHIT LOWKEY HIGHKEY I AM SO EXCITED AAAAAAA

i mean english isnt really hard for me if we are talking abt writing and stuff but speaking out loud is more difficult if you don't regularly do it >:( dont worry we are on the same wavelength i always know what u mean w your replies AHAH sometimes i speak in eng w my roommate bc she is an english major (she only picked the major bc of me and then i ended up doing psychology so i owe her this bc her english isnt as good as mine) I USED TO RECORD VLOGS W MY BROTHER but we never posted them thank god. i'm still down to do it honestly its so fun LMAO

hanbin.......i looked up his name on tiktok once and now my fyp is filled with him and im so in love he's so cute and adorable and sweet like i saw clips of ppl giving him letters and how much he loves getting them and even asked if anyone has letters for him please zb1 fans give him letters!!!!!! no bc i only know ricky, hanbin, zhang hao and matthew :,) but the more i see them on my fyp the more i am convinced to stan once they debut like i legit debated on watching boys planet yesterday bc i lowkey like survival shows but when i found out the eps are 2 hours long i decided to just....not...do that...

also a small update on the tbz recs i did some progress and i really liked diamond life and survive the night :p i have like 11 songs left from the ones u recommended LMAO but yeah i loved those two

[chaya1117]

The Midnight Library By Matt Haig

So the first book I am going to talk about is one I just finished literally an hour ago and wanted to share because it really is a good book. I decided to read it because this amazing example of a human being....

decided to post this on twitter. Have I said how amazing he is? Well he is. As you can tell I'm a K-pop Stan among other things and he just happens to be my ULT Bias so I follow *cough* stalk *cough* him on pretty much everything and try to at least look at things he suggests. I'd never heard of the book and didn't even know if I could get it in english. Though I assumed I could with part of the title being in english in the photo. I went over to good old Amazon and found it for like 8$ on kindle. Life happened and here I am 2 weeks later having finally finished it so lets get to this book bloggy business. It starts out not so promising. The first sentence is literally....

"Nineteen years before she decided to die, Nora Seed sat in the warmth of the small library at Hazeldene School in the town of Bedford."

Well now.... this can only end badly I thought, but here we go anyway. obviously Jaebeom liked something about it to post it on his social media. Nora is at school playing chess with the librarian Mrs. Elm, a sweet old lady that seems to be the only one that understands Nora at this age. While they are playing chess the library phone rings and Mrs. Elm answers. Right away you know something is wrong. I forget when you find out what, but it's Nora's dad. He's had a heart attack and has died. I figured it was a dead parent or sibling only because that's the troupe everyone uses. *face palm*

The next chapter jumps ahead the Nineteen years and starts 27 hours before she decided to die. This and the following chapters show her crap life. How her mom died, she doesn't talk to the best friend anymore, her brother hates her for leaving the band just before they got their big deal, she left the fiancé days before their wedding, she has no money and was fired from her crap ass job that wasn't really letting her pay bills anyway, oh and her cat dies. So, she feels the best thing to do is take her life, no one needs her, no one would miss her, no one would be affected if she were gone. She takes a hand full of pills and passes out.

Next thing she knows she's in a library, well sort of. It's got shelves with lots of books but no one else, except her and Mrs. Elm, and all the books are green with one title "My Life". Why green? Maybe it's because it's the color of a lot of plant life and the books are all different versions of her life she could have had if she made one decision differently. I still have no clue.

So then she proceeds to go through life, after life, after life, seriously there are a lot and if you want to know then read the book. She sees what would happen if she made the deal with the band, if she married the fiancé, if she never took the job that fired her, if she did something else with her life besides studying psychology and even one where she's become a glaciologist. She meets a bunch of people, but never finds a life that is for her. Eventually though she gets sick of it. Nothing is ever right, then she picks a life where she said yes to a guy to have coffee.

On the outside it's the perfect life. She thinks she could stay there forever. On the inside, she feels like she's stealing someone else's life, which lets be real, she is. She's also sees that people in her original life have been affected without her being there and see's that just because she didn't see how others needed her at the time, they did.

She freaks out, goes back into the library and it's coming crashing and burning, literally, down around her and Mrs. Elm. Can she find her original life book, can she figure out how to stop dying so that can can go back to her root life? Who knows... well I do, but I'm not going to give it all away, so go read the thing and then tell me what you thought.

[starisenby]

VENT BELOW THE CUT

So uh yeah it really started around 5 I'd say but I doubt he actually was intentionally being bad but he'd actively wake me and my sister up at like 3 maybe 4 am and I was in kindergarten at the time and my sister is a year and a half older then me so she was in 1st or 2nd grade, now it was bad and he genuinely was trying to be nice but it took a turn for the worst when I was around I'd say 9 when this motherfucker CHEATED ON MY MOM WHO ONLY EVER DID HER BEST AND HAS BEEN THE BEST MOM I COULD ASK FOR WITH A COWORKER OF HIS, and she (my mom) found out about this and they argued and got divorced with split custody which fine but the worst part is that they'd argue at 2, 3 maybe 4 am. And so a little while afterwards he got a new girlfriend guess who it fucking was....

THE GIRL HE CHEATED ON MY MOM WITH. Now she's genuinely a great step-mom but still dude... things only got worse from there the thing is part of the split custody is that every day of every other week is me and my sister would go to his house from 3:30 - 6:30 and he'd just let me and my sister starve there I guess, he'd not tell us where food was or what food was there but just let us "figure it out™" and we didn't eat real dinner if your curious we ate snack food.

Now this next end has to get some context my step-mom had kids young her kids then had kids young leaving me and my sister as "aunts"(yuck) as kids....

So the oldest of my step-moms kids is my kinda step-sister more like aunt and she has five kids the oldest of them is about my age, yeah awkward.... he's very clearly favored by my dad I mean I'm not surprised my sister was his favorite beforehand she had the same interest in hockey after all, now adding on to this is that he'll let my step-nephew more like step-brother get a pass on stuff but as soon as I do it, I must be burned alive.... so yeah November 28th 2021 we had a HUGE argument that still sticks to me, wanna know what started it I had a stomachache. Yeah fucking seriously. Also something I forgot to mention is that every other weekend me and my sister would stay at my dad's. And the argument blew up and had my dad pretty much said "Just go to your mom's" now the thing is I wanted to make sure if he was for real and yes he was and then I texted my mom.... so when she got there I was in the garage ready to leave and so he said and I quote "what if I die tomorrow?" Yeah that stuck with me for a while, now you'd expect him to apologize within the next week nope. December 20th is when he "apologized" and said "can you start going over here again"...

Now next takes place in August 2021 I originally planned to go to a concert with my dad and sister but then got anxious and paranoid causing me to cancel and he basically said "your anxiety is fake shut up" because yes I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and OCD so like bro....

And then because this guy is just a genuine asshole, remember that bit about favoritism yeah guess who feels like they'll never be good enough and that if I was born a boy he'd like me even a little more and that if i was to kill myself he'd never even care, which then led me to want to self-harm that's right me... also the guy just constantly gaslights me so that's always fun, also I have those run-of-the-mill intrusive thoughts to just jump out windows or of roofs so yay...

Oh and i absolutely hate my body because I was AFAB and born with boobs that'd end up being rather round so as an enby it's great tbh

And let's not forget that he also called a video game character in his hockey game the f slur cause he lost..

Oh and the first end I'm pretty sure is what led to my god awful sleeping schedule that is borderline sleep deprivation