#where he needs ppl who like him at all and good friends b4 anything

[melodicaprils]

oh my god im going to gp insane i NEED to hear your mal headcanons. (i dislike canon mal but i also dont like fanon mal and i have a very specific image of his character (i dont lile most fanon characters because people mischaracterize them so often :( (especially in all stars))) im begging you . headcanons for mike n co now ! !!! !! i hope i read your pinned post right i sometimes confuse what canon and fanon mean and use the terms in the opposite way

i loved total drama sm as a kid and seeing so many ppl still liking it and being fans is so awesome omg !!!! mike n co were probably my awakening to being a possible system but idk yet !!! but i might actually explode if i think about td too much sorry to ramble in uour asks i just think your cool :)

ask n u shall recieve!!!

ive gotten my headcanons after lots of thinking abt lines at 3am n going "bro... what if he didnt mean that..... omg i cracked the code......" n just silly thoughts

actually likes breakcore covers of classical music (he strikes me as a breakcore listener - breakcore is a music genre of rlly fastpaced drums n usually piano)

TRASH at baking. he will somehow burn anything he tries to make.

practices evil laughs in the mirror

so im a huge zoey x mal shipper, n a lot of my headcanons abt them include: mal being maybe a lil touchstarved, secretly rlly likes being lil spoon but would never admit it, n he actually tries to b a good person for his s/o (bc i always see ppl headcanon him as an abusive partner??????)

didnt actually want to "rule juvie" duncan was exaggerating since mal looked so threatening (n no1 knew how silly villain he is)

got into juvie for a rlly bad fight he won

actually cares abt his headmates (except for mike bc mike was the 1 that took away fronting privaleges) n made sure that they werent too hurt by the punishments (bc if he rlly wanted to punish them, he wouldnt choose stuff like "just... scupt a fish out of butter" or "sit around selling... uh..... skateboards" n wouldnt have left that glass of water for vito

HAS NEVER KILLED SOME1. idk where yall got those headcanons bc yeah he hurt some ppl on td but so did almost every contestant??? also ITS TOTAL DRAMA. U HAVE TO BETRAY PPL. cmon fandom..

he was the 1 who tried cutting his hair. mike tried to do smth cool w/ it n convince every1 he did

mal likes unsweetened uncaffinated bitter black coffee cuz he hates sweet stuff (hell maybe try a piece of cake that zoey i mean his s/o gives him)

is both persecutor n traumaholder (or protector n trauma holder if were going the mal redemption arc)

i think he n duncan would b friends n shoplift together

i like to think the reset button only put him in dormancy (im not a sys, but i think u cant just hit a button to delete all ur alters??) since he was also in a lighter dormancy from juvie to b4 tdroti

i think thats all of them! i agree on hating fanon (what the fandom believes in canon that is never stated) mal bc how did u get coldhearted psycopathic villain from a guy whos said "if i cant win fairly, ill just have to win... UNFAIRLY!!!!!! *evil laughing*"

also ty for thinking im cool ^_^

[raydaug]

I found Sayaka’s speech to Yumeko just b4 their gamble rlly funny bc she’s talking about how Yumeko is so terrible for driving ppl to desperation and having no other goal than her own entertainment when she’s obsessed with a woman who does the exact same for seemingly the no different reasons

I like this question a lot. There’s a lot to chew on here, so thank you. 

You are right, Yumeko and Kirari are very much two sides of the same coin.But just as the metaphor implies, even though they share a common starting point (gambling), they face out in opposite directions. 

Visually, Kirari and Yumeko seem to be playing on the Red and Blue Oni myth, with Yumeko’s primary color being red and her personality being very...passionate, and Kirari’s primary visual signifier being blue while also having and much cooler personality. 

However, at this point, I think it’s just a visual reference or a simple coincidence. For those unaware, the myth of the Red and Blue Oni is, extremely loosely, that a Red Oni (Japanese Demon) wanted to befriend some humans, but he couldn’t because they saw him as a monster. His friend, the Blue Oni, decides to help him by pretending to attack the village so the Red Oni can fight him off. It works and the humans accept the Red Oni, but he can no longer see his old friend the Blue Oni now because the humans are scared of him. 

While if you squint hard enough, you could potentially see some similarities in this tale between Kirari and Yumeko, and it’s not impossible that the story going forward shapes into something like the above, as things stand right now I don’t see too many similarities beyond the visual motifs of the characters. There is another famous dichotomy that Kirari and Yumeko mirror, and this one has much more textual support; 

God and Satan.

Yumeko as Satan fits neatly into the most modern depictions of the Christian Devil. Yumeko is a seducer. She’s disarmingly attractive, sweet and polite, and uses these aspects of herself to  tempt people into giving in to their base desires for her amusement. Hell, Kirari outright calls Yumeko a “snake in the garden.” (CORRECTION: only in the anime) This is a reference both to Yumeko’s name (Jabami means “snake eater”) as well as the Book of Genesis, when Eve is tempted Satan in the form of a snake into disobeying God’s edict and eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (keep in mind that this is a specifically Chrstian reading of Genesis, as the Devil as a singular embodiment of evil is not an idea that’s really present in the Torah). 

Kirari as God is much less obvious, but it’s still there if you are willing to dig a little.For starters, Japan, generally speaking, tends to view Christianity at best with curiosity and at worst with skepticism. There’s a tradition of portraying Chrstianity, or religions modeled after Christianity as the case may be, as evil or corrupt, primarily based on the rigid hierarchical structure of Christian Denominations (Catholicism in particular), which Shinto and Buddhism (the predominant religions of Japan, don’t really share. Kirari is at the head of Hyakkaou, her aquarium ,her Eden, with the student council as the enforcers of her will.

More specifically to Kirari though, Kirari seems to be riffing on the old theological and philosophical conundrum of the Problem of Evil. The Problem (or Question sometimes) of Evil is “if God is all good, all powerful, and all knowing, then why do bad things happen in the world?” The most common answer to this qandry is free will. God gave his creations free will and allows them to use it. 

This is the biggest and most important separation between Yumeko and Kirari. Yumeko pushes people to do things against their will for her own amusement. You can see this in her gamble with Mary where she boxes Mary into a corner but upping the stakes to a ridiculous level, or when she forced Manyuda to gamble with or, or with her second gamble with Yumemi when Yumemi was simply content to share the stage with Sumika but that wasn’t good enough for Yumeko. Yumeko is happy to be a nice, charming girl when you play along with her, but when you deny her her fun, she’ll drag you kicking and screaming back to the card table. 

In contrast, Kirari never makes people do things against their will and is a major advocate for people living according to their own desires. She sets up the games, explains the terms, but ultimately it’s the player’s choice if they choose to participate. We see this most clearly in the Tower of Doors arc. Kirari explains the terms of the gamble clearly and explicitly to Sayaka. She doesn’t ever withhold information, and she asks for Sayaka and Yumeko’s consent twice before starting the game, giving them both opportunities to back out if they didn’t want to continue. We see also in her conversation with Terano in Chapter 82 that she’s trying to push Terano to exercise her own free will instead of always prioritizing the needs of others over her own. 

Kirari gives people tools and watches what they do with them, while Yumeko pics up those tools and starts hitting everything she can with them. 

It is that distinction that I think Sayaka is calling out and how she can justify her attraction to and association with Kirari while viewing Yumeko with disdain. Kirari created something, a logical (if perverse) system that operates on cause and effect, input and output. Kirari doesn’t make people house pets. If you can pay your dues to the Student Council you never have to touch card or dice. And if you must gamble, Kirari isn’t forcing the student body to gamble more that they can afford and fall into debt. 

Yumeko in contrast is a force of destruction in the school. She upended the logical and orderly function of Hyakkaou and made one person a house pet and consigned another to a life plan for no other reason than her amusement. And that is arguably more monstrous than anything Kirari has done.

Akso, let me be abundantly clear: I AM NOT SAYING KIRARI AND YUMEKO ARE LITERALLY GOD AND THE DEVIL. Just that there is metaphor and allegory at play here.

[teamfreewill2pointo]

Transcript of End of the Road Special

Transcript of End of the Road Special. 

Please let me know if I made any errors in transcription. Twitter version Family Don’t End with Blood Transcription Winchester Mythology Transcription

Dabb: Ultimately, we came up with something that we're all very proud of Singer: You never know what the audience is going to like so we really tried to say "what would make us happy? Would we be satisfied with where we've taken them?"

The Carry On song was a guideline.

Singer: The myth of what these brothers were throughout 15 years... We didn't shy away from fatalism, but we wanted to be able to have it be kinda uplifting as well.

Dabb: If you're going to do something that feels like a complete arc, you have to kinda go back to the beginning of it (clips of them hunting vamps from s1 & 15.20) When it comes to Sam & Dean- it's all about getting back to, in some ways, these two guys on the road in this car.

Dabb: They've been doing this job for 15 years now. They've fought everyone from demons to vampires to God himself, but at the end of the day, they're still working guys, out there on the road & taking cases. We've tried to never lose sight of that.

Dabb: There are times when we've been wrapped up in our own mythology a little bit. We've always tried to get back to the basics, which are: these two guys, saving people, hunting things. 

Eugenie: I think we sort of knew generally what the ending would involve.

Eugenie: We might not have known the mechanics, but we sort of knew there would be a victorious, glorious sacrificial ending bc I think sacrifice is a big theme in the series.

For every great thing you do, a cost must be paid.

Singer: Andrew & I talked about it. We were in agreement pretty quickly... talked to the rest of the writing staff & let them know what we wanted to do and we were open to suggestions. And then we pretty much pitched it to Jared and Jensen.

Jensen talks about flying to LA. Jensen: So before we ever even started 15, we knew how the last portion of the story was going to go. We didn't know how we were going to get there, but we kinda knew the final- the finish line- we knew what... what that was going to look like.

Jared: I don't think there's ever been a season of SPN in 15 years where the way the writers thought the show would play out for that season- ended up being the way it played out And so we were aware of that. They told us here's what we're thinking, here's what happens to Castiel

Jared: In the finale, Dean dies & Sam lives on. And then we think they're going to meet up in heaven. 

I remember Jensen... just because I know him so well- he seemed to bristle a little bit.

Jensen: It was hard to hear then & it was hard to read now. Not because I didn't like it, not because I wished it had gone differently... I'm not adverse to it. I think it's a great ending. I'm proud to film it.

Singer: And we just aimed for that, you know, throughout the season. We knew where we were going.

Jensen: Reading it & knowing that... there's just a weight that is so much larger reading these scripts than I've ever experienced before. 

There's an emotional weight that these scripts are going to carry & these episodes are going to have that I don't think we've ever seen before.

Brad: [J2] were so young when all of this started. They brought to it such conviction & such commitment to the effort. 

That's one of the things that kept the show going for so many years... a show that was designed for very young guys, footloose & fancy free, & on the road…

Brad: To see these guys grow up b4 your eyes into- men, not boys any longer- was amazing. 

BABY Jared: Though the story does involve Sam & Dean chasing supernatural things, it really is a story about two brothers that love each other & ultimately will do anything for each other.

Jensen: There's really one person that gets it on the level that I get it, and that's Jared. Jared: I've never spent as much time with another human being as I have with Jensen Ackles. He will be my friend and brother forever. And I know that.

BABY Jensen: There's a lot of dynamics between the two brothers, there's a lot of history between them, there's a lot of banter between them... it's good stuff S15 Jensen: We had a partner in crime & we leaned on each other for, you know, for times when it was tough.

Jensen: But we also won together. We got to share the experience of success & the experience of getting picked up for another season. Watching these two characters go through what they're going through, when we're working 14 hours & it's 2-3 o’clock on a Sat morning and we're just now finishing filming out in the rain and mud and we gotta race to the airport to get on a plane because we've got a photoshoot in LA & we've gotta do on camera interviews and we gotta promote the show that we love so much that we were just in the mud & the rain filming hours before we're exhausted and it's like there's only one person that gets that right now. That gets how I feel and that's this guy standing next to me. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool to have somebody like that.

Brad: We knew it was going to be impossible to tie up every aspect of all of the cans of worms that we opened up. 

We did want to bring a proper ending to the guys, the guy's relationship.

Brad: Then of course we had this huge corner we painted ourselves into with the most powerful thing in the universe being the big bad of the season. We try and find a proper send off for Jack & for Cas. What to do w/ the boys & is that a together farewell or an individual?

It was just... lots of moving parts. 

Dabb: I give a lot of credit to Bobo who really was the one who started banging the drum early & often to ending the mythology in 19 and end the characters in 20.

Brad: You're battling God & battling God & you have this epic situation going on through the first 3/4 of the show & then what? You send off Dean in act 4? That just felt wrong. Eugenie: We had this obligation, it was really mandatory, that we tie up the mythic narrative and leave the final episode for the emotional resolution. I [was] more on the side of not wanting to best God. To have God change to be more like his creations. So there were philosophical arguments, but we always knew God's resolution was going to be a big ticket item.

Jensen: We'd started day 1 of the 2nd to last episode, 19. We were 1 day down on that episode & we were just about to start our 2nd day & we got the call that morning that we were not going to be coming in that day.

Jensen: So we figured ok, we'll figure out protocol, figure out what we need to do, & we'll just regroup, come back on Monday. As that day progressed, it was like- this looks like more of an apocalypse that is ascending upon us than just a bad cold.

They pulled the plug & they said everybody go home. 

Singer: Fortunately, we got assurance from both the studio & the network that one way or another we were gonna finish the series. That was comforting to us, but we didn't know when we were going to go back.

Eugenie: We didn't know what we were going back to... if this was the last time we would ever see the set. There was no plan. It was just get out of dodge. Dabb: When it first happened, we thought it would be a couple of weeks, maybe a month.

I had conversations w/WB where they expected everyone to be back shooting in June & then things got worse & pushed & pushed.

Eugenie: Slowly as we settled into that 4 or 5 month period, discussions were going on w/the studio, & the networks, & the actors. We knew there would be restrictions on what we were allowed to shoot, but finally, the mechanics were figured out. 

Singer: So they were ready to go pretty quickly, shooting in Van, where covid wasn't quite as virulent as it was [in LA].

Dabb: We were one of the first shows, one of the first WB shows to start back up. So in a way, we were kinda a guinea pig. But, in being that, I think everyone took it really seriously. We had 0 positive tests. Crew members weren't going out on the weekends.

They were like look, if I get sick, it hurts the whole show. That speaks to the family culture up there, where we've had so much of our crew for so long. Where J2 & Singer provide such great leadership.

Singer: When I was in prep for 20, I was basically in the office but couldn't go to the set. It was very odd for me not to be able to go to the set while I was in prep. 

Everybody just hung in there & did what they were supposed to do.

Brad: Then we were faced with the dilemma of having to rewrite a lot of the stuff bc of the pandemic bc of the limitations that we knew were going to come on the production.

Jensen: We were gearing up for, not only the end of that season, but the end of the series. There was a lot of big, big things written-packed- into those last two scripts.

Jared: At first, it was supposed to be a lot of our old cast from prior seasons in a Roadhouse with Kansas.

Everybody had already agreed. Kansas was going to be in Van. We were going to have dad there & mom there. Just probably 20 or 30 different actors & actresses who had been a part of the SPN's canon over the last 15 & a half years.

Jensen: It was scheduled to be the last day that we were going to film, so it was almost like rolling right into a nice wrap party on camera. 

Brad: The idea of flying a boatload of ppl up there to quarantine for 2 weeks so they could shoot for a day was making less & less sense.

Eugenie: How do we make this work? And while you're doing that, you also don't want to sacrifice the heart and soul of the project. 

So we came up with a reduced, much more intimate ending. It has been replaced by something equally magical & rewarding.

Singer: I felt an enormous responsibility in directing the finale of a show that's been on for 15 years. Andrew, when he saw the cut, he said some really nice things to me as to, you know, the way I handled the material.

Jensen: The scenes that were filmed on our last day on the sound stages were filled with the most emotion of the final episode. 

Singer: One of the really hard things was we're on another stage that wasn't the MoL stage & they started wrecking the MoL sets

They'd been working on this set and been apart of this- this family for just as long if not longer than the set's been around. I was like "it's really sad seeing this get taken down" and the other guy said, "I'm trying to hold back tears while I'm swinging this hammer."

Jared: As we start saying goodbye to characters, to locations, like it just seems like every day you would wake up and there would be some reason to cry. 

Misha: This is a show ultimately about love, & empathy, & caring, & I think that Castiel embodies that.

Misha: Half the crew was crying. It was really such a sweet, supporting environment to be in for the demise of a character that, of course, for me is really important. 

But it was so lovely to see that, you know, the folks that I'm- I'm working with were also there for Cas at that moment. 

Alex: To get to work with these caliber people & see your friends every day is really special & is not something that often happens in this business for this long. It's been definitely a topsy turvy last couple weeks here with us and the crew. 

Jared: Friday of the final full week was the big scene in the barn with the vampires where Dean suffers his fate. They did the first two days with the entire stunt team & the young boy actors. 

And then they cut it for Thursday night and they're like, okay, Friday, tomorrow, we’re starting the dialogue. Dean, you're on the post. Sam, you just cut off the last vampire's head.

That was the scene- that was where Supernatural was really encapsulated. 

Jensen: And then the next week we kind of had this- on the road encore get together filmmaking scenario that felt more like we made it & it was more pats on the back as opposed to tearful goodbyes. 

Dabb: In a weird way you can look at the 15 seasons is like Sam & Dean's emotional evolution. You know instead of therapy, they kill vampires, but other than that it's kind of the same & brings them both to a very good place. And a place where they can, as the song says, you know, lay their weary head to rest. 

This felt like the most honest & emotionally fulfilling episode for these characters to us. Jared: I got thinking about how Supernatural started & how the majority of times how I thought it should end. It started with Sam & Dean Winchester. I think it's proper that it ended with Sam & Dean Winchester together again. 

Jensen: When the cameras stop rolling & Bob yelled, “Cut!” and Bob yelled, “That’s a series wrap on Supernatural.” There was- a there was a loud cheer that echoed through that canyon we were filming in. I will- I will happily say that there were hugs that happened and that needed to happen. Those are people that I spent not just years with, but so much time with- it's like brothers in arms and so to put it to bed the way that we did felt really good and then felt good to hug some people, I'll tell you that much. Singer: I thanked everyone, but I wanted to really thank people who had been with us from the beginning and as I looked around, there were so many people who had been there from the beginning.

We really were a family. I always say about this show is one of the reasons that it was a success and is that it was not only about the Winchester family, but it was about the Supernatural family. 

Jared: So now that's all said and done, I guess I can look back at it and just be proud that I helped this show carry on and I'm really proud of the blood, sweat, and tears that I put in, and I feel like- I feel like that sacrifice was also maybe one of the things I learned from Sam, you know? Sam had to sacrifice a lot. So, I'm honored and flattered and grateful that I got to be a part of that journey.

Dabb: You're never going to have another show like this. You're never gonna have another experience like this. For a lot of different reasons, from how long it ran, from the family that the show became, from the amazing fans that we have. [Footage of us] From the emotional investment people can put in over 15 years of their lives. 

Some started watching this when they were in high school, when they were 15, they're 30 now, they might have kids. That's their- that's like half their life. They've been with this show. You're not gonna have that again. Shows just aren’t gonna run this long, especially genre shows, but I don't know that I'm ever gonna do anything else in my career that I'm gonna be more proud of than having been involved in this show. 

Jared: The things that stick out are just how important it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And keep on working and wake up every day and treat it like it could be your last and- and if you make it out the other side, you'll be happy and proud of what you did. 

Jensen: The crew had packed up, they had cleared the bridge, and they were all starting to, you know, load their trucks and get moving. And Jared and I just kind of hung back, and we just took a moment. I looked at him and I said, “I’m proud of us, man. I'm proud of what we've done.”

We know that that's the collective we, that is everyone that is involved, that is- you know from the top down. You know, for our portion, for what we contributed to this monster of the show, he and I reflected on that, and still able to see and smell the roses.

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

[angeltrapz]

SAW ask time 💚 wld love to hear abt chainshipping + Adam bein autistic— maybe like what Lar notices abt Adam’s stims, things he does for him/ways he helps when Adam needs it. Also for Eric/Adam, maybe any thoughts on Eric finally like.. realizing he’s got a special interest?? ik we’ve talked abt how hard he masks but bein around Adam (n Mallick) helps him relax abt that, so like maybe how does he react + what is th special interest? anything u wanna dish abt!

thank u it’s always SAW ask time in my heart <33

!!! I was just thinkin abt tht!!! our minds 💫

I think th first time he rly sees Adam stimming (i.e. flapping his hands) he’d be like “what’s that?” but not in a rude way - genuinely a tone of “I want 2 know more abt this thing, pls tell me” rather than anything anywhere near condescending/annoyed/mean-spirited like Adam has dealt w fr YEARS at this point. so he’s definitely put on edge a lil bit bc he can’t help it, maybe he starts to like wind down and force himself into quiet hands, but Lawrence is immediately like “no I wasn’t making fun of you!! u don’t have to stop doing it!” which kinda stops Adam short like. what r we doing here. usually when ppl ask me tht they’re also telling me 2 stop. finally Lawrence says “I was just wondering what kind of stim tht was,” like he didn’t almost (accidentally) uproot Adam’s whole shit + is currently Doing So Now by using actual terms tht Adam didn’t know he knew, n so he like takes a moment to absorb tht comment n then he’s like. “oh. it means I’m happy or excited?” and honestly? when Lawrence hears tht? he’s like “oh... so then you’re rly happy? 🥺” n it’s just like. a moment fr both of them lol. (Adam feels Much safer discussing things after tht too, in several ways. it definitely helps w building trust between them!!)

after that though Lawrence definitely takes notice of more things! he’s not afraid 2 ask questions, so tht’s smth tht’s rly good fr them - Lawrence being able to seek information (he also does his own reading + research) to better understand, n not in tht shitty mommy blogger “I know yr in there somewhere” way. he doesn’t want 2 change Adam. he wants a better grasp on wht Adam’s experiences r like so he can help n minimize stress abt certain things. fr Adam tht’s definitely like.. foreign territory, bc as u’ve mentioned b4 + my personal hc as well, his parents didn’t really care 2 get him formally diagnosed + even acted like there was No Way he cld be neurodivergent in any sense, so 2 have some1 who is interested n respectful is So important 2 him. (personal hc time: I hc Adam as both adhd AND autistic like me so there’s tht!!)

so like he takes notice of th way Adam likes 2 roll things btwn his fingers (shirt sleeves, shirt hems, hoodie drawstrings, blankets, soft fabrics he likes the texture of, etc.) n is just like Oh Idea. I like 2 think he gets Adam one of those bead lanyards (like this one, which I also have!) fr him to fidget w n he kind of presents it like “I thought maybe u wld like smth like this?” n honestly he’s a lil nervous abt what Adam is going 2 say. but Adam takes it n holds it fr a minute, rolling th beads n messing w th lanyard itself 2 kind of test it, n he just looks up n smiles n he’s like “I love this. u’ve been paying tht much attention??” n fr Lawrence it’s just like “yes? of course? bc I love u?” like it’s th simplest thing in th world n Adam’s just. Huh. no he does Not tear up, if Lawrence told u tht he’s lying. he’s just Rly not used 2 ppl who want 2 know more without wanting to “get inside his head” or belittle him fr it (ties into my hc tht fr th most part, Adam hasn’t rly had any Good friends...) so it takes a lil getting used to.

another thing!! Lawrence does is ask 2 listen 2 Adam infodump abt his special interests - esp photography!! like they do this thing where if it’s not too late at night by th time Lawrence comes home frm work, Lawrence will take a quick shower n then get into his pajamas n into bed (just fr some quiet quality time b4 they go to bed, bc he still tends 2 come home a bit late), n he’ll have Adam sit next 2 him n he’ll be like “what do u want to tell me?” bc tht’s another thing tht Adam was entirely unused 2 - having ppl who didn’t just tolerate his infodumping, they wanted to hear it. Lawrence might be th first person to not actually give him shit fr it/tell him he’s being annoying/shut him down completely. again, it takes Adam a lil bit to b fully comfortable w it, but once he is he adores having tht time to be excited abt things w another person! who he knows Wants to listen!! (if we’re going th route I personally like 2 think abt sometimes too, where Lawrence is autistic as well, I feel like they infodump back n forth abt photography n medical stuff. do either of them rly know what the other is saying? not rly. are they listening happily bc that’s their partner n it’s smth they’re excited abt? oh absolutely!)

I think Adam has a tendency to eat a lot of th same foods bc they’re safe n he knows he likes them/doesn’t mind their texture (which is a big issue w trying new foods fr him), which is smth tht Lawrence also takes note of and as such, he likes 2 make sure they’re regularly stocked up on at least some of tht stuff. it’s not even smth he tells Adam he’s doing, bc it’s rly tht simple 2 him - Adam likes these things n therefore we shld have them at th house - but fr Adam it’s just One Of Those Things, y’know?? he got so much shit as a kid fr being such a “picky eater” n got shit fr it as a teenager too bc “why don’t u ever try anything new??” was smth his friends/parents Loved 2 say. it’s th fact tht Lawrence rolls w it so easily, doesn’t poke or prod for reasons he eats th way he does, and doesn’t get upset w him fr it/try 2 force him into things he isn’t comfortable w. it means a lot to him, more than he’ll ever have words 2 say (but he does always kiss Lawrence’s cheek when he gets back frm th store n he sees some of his same foods, which is just as good). it’s loving tht he’s autistic because it’s a part of him, a fact, not despite or in spite of. tht’s what’s so nice n kind of healing abt it; feeling safe 2 express yrself as u are w a partner who u know u can trust. who maybe words questions a bit funny sometimes, completely unintentionally, not out of malice (where allistic Lawrence is concerned, anyway). Adam feels Safe, n tht means a lot 2 him.

as fr ways he helps him!! a big thing is tht Lawrence is observant, esp as they spend more n more time together. a lot of th time, even when it’s just th two of them alone, Adam might have trouble maintaining eye contact fr an extended period of time, n Lawrence might not know how much it Actually helps, but he doesn’t mind tht Adam doesn’t always look at his face when they’re talking. it’s smth tht takes a little getting used 2, but he was never shitty about it w Adam. the way he sees it is if it makes Adam more comfortable, why shld he get upset abt it? it’s not like he doesn’t know when Adam’s talking 2 him anyway, or tht he can’t tell if Adam is listening; Lawrence knows both of those things, so Adam not making eye contact isn’t a problem, y’know? it’s okay. n I rly don’t know if Lawrence is fully aware of how much Adam appreciates tht.

another thing is he’s patient + understanding when Adam is nonverbal, whether it be bc he’s having a shutdown/meltdown, sensory overload, or just plain Difficulty w speech. it kinda depends on what I’m writing at th time, but I feel like Adam might have picked up at least a lil bit of sign language here n there; mostly simple phrases tht get th point across. I like 2 think Lawrence learns what they mean so he can take tht stress off of Adam’s shoulders, but most times, Adam is just comfortable sitting in silence w someone he cares abt.

OH brief thing Lawrence is RLY good at helping w pressure stims. he gives amazing bear hugs n I feel like he’d also probably let Adam lay on him if they’re on th couch/in bed. I just Feel It.

-

OHH I think abt Eric finally developing a special interest now tht he feels more comfortable w doing so a lot. honestly I kind of rly like th idea tht his special interest might be info abt rats! it kind of hits him when he catches himself writing down lil facts (tht might not even be related to pet care!) in his notebook so he’ll remember them + always being excited 2 learn more n share what he’s learned. it makes Adam SO happy to see him being comfortable w tht aspect of himself, esp now that he’s safe to explore it w ppl who understand n who won’t discourage him/belittle him for it,, Mallick too of course, but Adam knows how much Eric struggled w tht kind of thing for such a long time so he’s just. Ah. 🥺🥺

like they’ll all b chilling on th couch (Eric, Mallick, n Adam) n Eric will have his head against Adam’s shoulder while his hand is on Mallick’s chest, who has HIS head in Eric’s lap w his legs dangling off th armrest, n he’ll be like “did u know tht when rats r happy, they grind their teeth together? it’s called bruxing n then sometimes their eyes move in their sockets rly fast while they’re doing it. tht’s called boggling.” n Adam will be smiling so wide when he says he didn’t know tht but it’s rly cool!! n then Mallick will start asking questions n he n Adam just listen while Eric infodumps fr probably th very first time since he was very very young, before it was masked out of him by his parents. n he finds tht he Doesn’t feel so bad abt it anymore, not when he’s around ppl who want him to be happy and want to see him be happy - esp ppl who encourage it n let him know it isn’t smth he has to hide/keep locked away. it’s hard 2 b ashamed of himself when Adam n Mallick r looking at him w genuine interest in their eyes n so so much love.

he might still like, slip back into masking behaviour every now n then, bc it’s something he’s still dealing w n learning 2 leave behind, but after he discovers his first special interest it gets a little easier, letting go of that way of life. it was smth he was forced into by adults who didn’t actually want th best for him like they said they did when they put him through “therapy,” but w partners he knows understand n who are even autistic themselves, Eric slowly learns 2 be more comfortable w it. it’s slow, but it’s progress. bit of a learning curve. he’ll get there.

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[knoxhq]

► ( rudy pankow & cis male ) according to the school’s records, knox drury is a 22-YEAR-OLD senior studying political science, and he lives over in moriarty. he is a gemini, so that must be why others describe him as dignified, humorous, cowardly and naive. when i see him, i’m reminded of walking into class an hour late with sunglasses on, the feeling of anticipation as you wait for a firework to fully blossom, the sound of party music leaking through the walls of a bathroom. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est. ) ◄

hello everyone !! so i won’t even lie to u guys, i am NERVOUS and it’s literally only bc this is the first group i’ve joined in so long like dfdhkjsfjad the last group i was in was almost a year ago but i ended up having to leave due to personal reasons and didn’t get to write so like !!! idk i’m excited !! anyways w that in mind, pls bARE with me bc i have like one (1) braincell and i forgot how to write intros. anyways enough of me rambling, lemme give you knox !!

also this is a bad intro pls dont judge me im trying 2 like. rewrite what i had b4 the storm took it out n like, i lost the braincell

basics. 

full name: knox hale drury.

nicknames: drury.

age: twenty two.

gender and pronouns: cis male and he/him

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: political science.

housing: moriarty.

backstory.

triggers: implied bullying, police and incarceration ( dw i didn’t make him jj 2.0 ).

nobody gets to pick their beginnings. it’s something that people tell knox all the time, hell, it’s plastered in every stupid coming of age movie, book, film, everything he’s ever seen. you don’t pick who your born into, you don’t pick who you get to be. and to an extent, he does think that this is true but he can’t help but wonder if maybe, if people could pick, if they’d pick differently. because he knows he certainly would pick differently.

it’s not that he even came from a bad home - hell no, he had the most loving family ever. his mother was a saint, a warm sensation bubbling up in his chest when he thinks about her warm cookies or the way she tried to still tuck him in even as a teenager. his father had his flaws, we all do, but he was a good and honest man. hardworking, he showed knox what that stupid american dream is that everyone likes to preach about. 

no, it had nothing to do with them but rather the overall opinion on him and his family. see, the drury’s weren’t well liked - they were seen as lowlives and as shady, the kind of people who you’d only go to if you wanted to get stabbed in the back. generations of drury’s fit this narrative but no, his father was determined to change that. and so was he, even if nobody around him seemed to want to give him a chance. 

knox would go throughout school with this name attached to him like a dagger to his throat - whisperings in the hallway of, “oh, my mom said the drury boy might be steal things if you let him over,” and other random, rude remarks. of course, the people that get close to him know better - they see him for who he really is.

that person is knox. he’s a golden light, often more selfless than the rich pricks who run that small town. he’d give his jacket or umbrella to people even if they didn’t ask if it just so happened to be raining outside, and despite the fact that his family didn’t have a lot, he’d still go out of his way to try to give when he could. 

he eventually graduated high school - one of the top people in his class due to his father’s encouragement, and after a lot of debate, settled on attending haddon university - miles away from that sweet, small little hometown he knew, but a fresh start where he didn’t have to work for anything. he could just go in being him, with nobody attaching a new narrative to him. it was what he wanted, what he dreamed of.

and he loved it. his first semester there was memorable as he found himself surrounded by new friends and people he even considered family. back home, however, things were slipping.

the drury family was never rich, ever by any means, but business was low. nobody wanted to go there, fearing that his father was just as shady as his grandfather. as things got worse, his father had to resort to other needs - stealing, lying about taxes, and doing everything he could to try to make it by. 

it finally caught up to him when knox came home for spring break - red and blue lights flashing outside as loud noises went on throughout the house, until finally someone swung knox’s door open and briefly blinded him with a flashlight, demanding to know where his father was. by the time knox got a grasp on the situation, his father was being rushed off in the back of a cop car. 

he plead guilty almost immediately and for the next few months, knox did school from home to stay with his mother. it was then that he switched his major from what had initially been just a vague, business degree to political science in hopes of going into law after getting that degree - a way of changing things, of helping people so they never got to that point. 

for now though, he’s gone back to haddon’s campus where he study’s away and occasionally finds himself slipping and partying, glasses always covering his eyes as he slinks back class, getting almost nO sleep every night.

study.

so i need u to know right now... knox is baby, FDSHJDFSHAJK

like he’s not by any means like he’s kinda a gross dude like, absolutely randomly burps n is like lol oops n shit, very little manners, will grab clothes off of the floor to put them on kind of man BUT LIKE as a whole ?? he means very well FDSJFAHJ he’s very gentle and will sit there and admire flowers on a bush and then get mad if u pick one bc ur hurting it like. he’s baby.

he also is very loyal to the ppl he’s friends w tbh like. damn he will never leave ur side

that also makes him kinda... super, actually, naive. you see, while knox is incredibly loyal, he often finds himself ignoring signs of toxicity for the sake of preserving a friendship - he fights for people who won’t fight for him, he lets people back in too easily, he just. he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any good.

regardless, he’s not easy to just... manipulate to an extent. while he’ll fall for you being innocent, you can’t ever try to make him think he’s something he’s not - he knows his intentions and he knows they’re usually pure and he’s not gonna fold for anyone if it comes down to him or them. 

bt like again he’s baby

like i dont think he ever gets mad but damn when he does its probs scary as shit like bc he nEVER gets mad !!! hes like. a golden retriever ig

if u cannot tell im trying really hard not to make him too much like jj bc i realize that might be a big thing ppl do n i dont think jj is baby bt like. knox? knox is baby DSFHJKFDHKJ 

he’s just. idk. he’s very protective and cares about his friends a lot and will walk you home even if you went to HIS place and like is always ready to give you a jacket if it’s raining and he’s just lowkey a big, kinda dumb at times, teddy bear and i think that’s valid tyvm 

wanted connections.

friends. — please. knox will lOVE ur muses just let him be their friend tyvm plus he’s a bit of a social butterfly now and i think he’d honestly have a lot of friends.

best friend. — i’m gonna keep this to one muse bc idk i think it’d be really cute if knox got to have his own like, ride or die where they care abt him as much as he cares about them and they’re always there for each other and like !!! that’s cute !!! also found family trope bc i think that is.. again, kyoot, ty

frienemies. — so these are always like, super fun to plot out and i think there’s a lot to work w here... like give me ppl who are happy that knox is loyal and would defend them but would push knox to the side n not do the same for him... also friendships where knox fucked up ?? where knox, despite his goodness, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and revealed a secret to their friend group bc u see he can kinda be a gossip fsjfdaskj. idk there’s a lot u can do n i’d love to brainstorm!

enemies. — pls. like. we can brainstorm this too so i dont just ramble but pLEASE?? please.

flings. — honestly romantic ships are not the point of rps but romantic flings and stuff can be really fun to plot and i love getting soft about them so like ?? idk dude lets fling it up n have muses date for two weeks n then break up like thats swexi, dramatic, 10/10

exes. — i mean this is kind of like flings but i have an idea... give me an ex of knox’s who really was like. everything knox wanted. hell, the two had a really good relationship - they were in love and etc etc gushy details but they ended up breaking up bc they just. they weren’t meant to be! as sad as it is like it was as simple as that! and then the angst comes in after they break up bc god they still love each other so much but they just aren’t meant to be and they see them with other people and oh it just hurts but like, bonus points if they manage to become good friends even after this !! (sidenote, idk i wouldn’t want this to be a full ship tht gets back together bc idk i think there’s a bittersweetness in stuff like this n its just. like. its ok !!! idk !!! )

roommates. — and they were roomates- fdshjkfdsahjk

other things. — honestly these are half assed plots but i’m down for anything !!! i’m still fleshing out knox a lil too bc i really did make him on the spot so pls bare w me :)

[classybeardbluebird]

Well i have something 2 say about the title of this particular ch 'REUNION OF CHILDHOOD FRIENDS' ..u see i am a MY SHIPPER ...so i might go ther a little ...so don't even think of bashing me×××× well when we talk about what ONS is all about?? What 1st comes 2 mind ...don't ans by telling humans vs vampires vs angels demons whatever....i am talking about imp value ..what is the most imp concept shown in ONS ...any guesses??? i know many of u have already deduced...yes it's the concept of FAMILY . This ppl 2 seek this miserable life ...2 cling 2 ther family no matter what cost is quite a imp focus in this story ....so this particular ch name hit me somewhere..i did not get it at 1st but now i noticed what it was ...the fact that its written CHILDHOOD FRIENDS kagami wrote childhood friends and not 'REUNION OF LOST FAMILY' or beloved/ precious family something like that ...sorry i am not really good with names so spare me so what i am trying 2 get at is if family is such a imp concept than why not add the word family over ther?? Why childhood friends??? Believe me takaya is really not trying 2 make mika and yuu relationship seem familiar love and if he is than he is doing a terrible job at it ....i mean 4 example mika birthday is 1st may whose birthstone is an gem with emerald green color and yuu's birthday 16th October who has 2 birthstone one of blue color and red color....which also leads 2 the possibility of soulmates ....now ppl listen this soulmates part is not from the view of a shipper or on a romantic basis u see the meaning of soulmates usually is of " someone who has a strong emotional bond with an individual it can be also in the sense of romantic or plantonic " but i would like 2 phrase it in a more twisted or deeper way ...yea i am twisted person so alt definition "soulmates is a very deep emotional bond between 2 individuals who have great sense of each others presence and always stick together no matter what , if they have each other 4 comfort they might no need 4 romance at all not from outside or even in between ....it varies .just physical contact is enough..it does not have 2 b intimate"....

I feel this is what Ashera meant by yuu's partner mika ...by seeing their closeness Ashera deduces that they r partner ....now ther was a part where even ferid called guren partner but their partnership is full of betrayals and gaining u can't possibly compare it 2 yuu and mika's partnership and here a demon called mika partner not yuu ...ashera who is now a part of yuu on seeing yuu's memories and feelings toward mika which made him conclude this partner thing and thus the above definition and as far as whose dependence is more bet mika and yuu and yuu and shinoa ...i bet mika and yuu ...u see mika is like the ultimate main sun 4 both yuu and shinoa ..i mean if mika was not ther 4 yuu would not have developed his feelings 4 family or adore his family the way he does it now and likeways would not have made shinoa feel that way and i even wonder how after getting thrown away from a car can keep mika acting like an angel and not feel any dread whatsoever who was mika's sun b4 yuu appeared? Any guesses? The hyakuya orphans? But they r younger than mika i wonder they can give a mental support like that ?..so coming back ....

Likeways after becoming a vamp mika found his sun as yuu well i believe yuu was his sun or hope even b4 that ...which is like a web chain

Mika( main sun) 《=》 yuu( sun) =》 shinoa

Well look at that i never thought that i will b brawling so much but how can anyone actually resist when it's my otp ....

I won't say that it's from a neutral view bcoz i believe it is not but i did gave analysis with canon materials which were provided but if u r unsatisfied then forgive me i am literally an amateur at this idk actually how 2 proceed with this kind of posts ...so if u want 2 add something about ur own opinion pls reblog it and write, my comment section will not be open and pls my hardest request 2 keep it parliamentary formal and not with rude comments ...

I might or will definitely post a theory about yuu and shinoa parallels and why they r a perfect match 4 each other is not a romantically implied one but how they stand 4 equal footing and what they want r quite similar ... u see i might need time becoz i am an imature amateur abt theories😭😭😥😥😥..i have a friend who will analyze this same concept but i believe it will b a more detailed one bcoz she is an experienced theorists ..she will do it in a more nice way than mine.....

So pls guys no rude comments bcoz i have faced it b4 and i was quite depressed but ig i have recovered from it and convince myself that this social messages r not at all imp and ignore them and no matter how many rude comments come it will not faze me i am mentally prepared but i rather not have such comments...so those who r thinking of spiting shit on me b4 u say anything let me say it b4 u " FUCK URSELF DUMBASSES".

That's all 4 this post ....thank u !!! I appreciate ur humble otherwises if u have any ...❤❤🤟🤟🤟love u all!!!

[wandering-bitch]

Notes for I Have Always Loved The Door (pt 1)

I Have Always Loved The Door is the Wen Qing/Mianmian fic that all the wlw wanted but canon could not in any way make happen 

This is part one of three, i’m sorry, but it is a 30k fic and i’ve never written anything this long. it’s like. six months of my life. annotations are gonna be longer, too.

What is this fic About? Uh. Lots. Mostly your relationship with your past and your future. making choices about what you carry with you into your life.

title is from Charly Bliss’ “Percolator” but like. the rest of the fic is in no way related to the song. Just the lyrics “I have always loved the door/but I will always love you more/I love metaphors” fit well for the wen qing mood

it is a fucking CRIME that wen qing died, and while i’m happy that luo qingyang got a happy ending with a soft man who just wants to make her happy, i think she deserves more. so i gave her a fancy job

i struggled with the outline for this so much until i realized that mianmian’s canon arc is partially about saying goodbye to your home/family because you no longer fit there + it’s not a great place anymore. and that’s so close 2 wen qing’s

so that drove a great part of the plot, and helped shape the youya/tuzai bit

ch 1

the first chapter is so funny and then nothing ever approaches it, i’m so sorry i got ur hopes up with the shennans TTnTT

i hate most of my writing after it’s up but i still like this chapter. wen qing being a doctor, nmj knowing his place, mianmian cursing loudly

“If you’ve been knuckles-deep in me, you can consider yourself a friend” i spend a lot of time in this fic trying to kill wen qing with Lesbianism, but honestly that’s just to make up for mianmian killing herself with lesbianism.

this was b4 i decided to care how i ended chapters haha

ch 2

i’m proud honestly of this fic alternating perspective, bc it forced me to learn to write more distinct voices. 

“are you eating enough red meat?” “in the unclean realm?” 

if i had 2 be in a Great Sect i would 100% want to be in the big sexy sword jock sect but unfortunately i’m a vegetarian

please think of me, an average-sized gay, with noodle arms, pushing away all the giant cooks and self-appointed nie aunties, who are trying to shove meat into my mouth

like you know how cats avoid the bath??? and their people are like “jesus fuck how is this 10 lb animal defeating me, i’m huge and strong and also have thumbs”??? that, except it’s an average sized sword gay fighting ten RIPPED aunties holding out beef

i do love the mianqing dynamic i created here and i’m not sure i kept it up but WHATEVER this is about annotations not about editing

mianmian: god FUCK the jin clan, the jin clan sux. wen qing: hmmmmmmmmmm

i think mianmian’s three older sisters might show up in a future work in the series

yeah, i fell in love with this au, there will be at least one epilogue.

ch 3

oh ho ho!!! it’s the beginning of Sword Content!!!

i watched so many videos of dao work vs jian work and then i ignored all of it!!!

by that i mean “there were only like two decent-quality videos on dao work that i found on youtube and i couldn’t study them hard enough to get what i wanted”

someone trying to correct your practice with boring, irrelevant suggestions??? it’s extremely likely, it’s happened to me multiple times, i straight up stopped practicing outside bc of it

please, men, i’m begging you. if you see me doing martial arts, rather than correcting me, ask “oh cool, what are you doing? ah, i do [this art]” and like. talk with me like i’m a human

not to be A Bitch but there is a 70% chance that i’ve actually studied more marital arts than you, on account of most ppl abandoning within a few years, and me practicing aikido for more than a fucking decade

god swinging a weapon full-speed at someone and stopping inches from their head??? a Fun Time

mianmian’s doing it as a big dick energy move

but in my school we just trusted each other to not fuck up.

im too gay to want any “”””homophobia””” or “””discovering you’re gay”””” or “””coming out”””” plots, i just wanna fast forward to the “”””i wanna kiss a girl””” bit

OH MAN i forgot wwx’s voice in wen qing’s head. 

“even after his death the yiling patriarch managed to annoy her” i love wen qing

ch 4

IT’S THE MEMORIAL DINNER CHAPTER

memorial dinners are an important part of my household’s mourning process sorry

“she waved her hand to indicate the entirety of his use of demonic cultivation, fall from grace, and mass murder” mood wen qing. fucking mood.

oh my god im rereading this and seeing where i misspelled shit ugh. sorry lwj

so sometimes i’m vague about food and that’s because the only food i can think of when i’m writing is pork. i just. can’t remember what other foods u can eat. pork and also buns (but meat buns) soup? never heard of her. chicken? what is that??? piles of vegetables??? no one eats that obviously

please remember that im vegetarian and not only do i not eat pork, what i do eat is piles of vegetables

ah yes!!! time for mianmian to say prisons are for burning!!!!

our girls are both radical leftists sorry not sorry

acab, reproductive rights, prisons are for burning, capitalism is an inherently exploitative system, unionize your workplace

“tip your servers well” -- wen qing

wwx, shouting from beyond the grave: GET SOME, GIRLS!!!

wwx’s ghost: do y’all need anything? snacks? water? a condom? ah, love you kids, you keep me young

oh i forgot “for my local radical,” i should make sure to keep using ‘my radical’ as a cute endearment for the wives

ch 5

awwwww yeahhhhhhh trauma dreamsssss

writing jin guangyao is so fun!! and stressful!!!

fun because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability, and that’s just a fun exercise

fun also because i Love a Bitch. 

stressful because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability. 

the bit where he threatens to expose wen qing and mentions specifically that nmj does not like being lied to??? took me several times to perfect and im still not happy!!! 

but i’m deeply proud of him sending the flame hairpiece, that’s some a+ innocent-looking menace right there, that’s the only thing on this planet i believe in anymore

i loved making up sect politics that weren’t specifically “let’s put up watchtowers” because i don’t think that happened while jgs was still alive

uh @ self why did i capitalize da-ge that’s so uncomfortable.

oh my god i just realized that jin guangyao has to watch his ex boyfriend/nie mingjue treat mianmian the way he used to be treated oh fuck

sorry i was not at all writing 3zun cinderella when i wrote this so i wasn’t in the habit of thinking about jgy being in pain and now???

get fukt jin guangyao

he 100% cries to lxc about this later

what’s that??? you say i keep writing overthinkers who are anxious and terrified of everything??? huh i’m not sure i agree and if even if you were right i’m not sure it means anything

“grumpy frog” mianmian mvp

god the flame hairpiece is one of like two whole good endings i did for this fic haha

next time: ch 6-10!!

[soupncrackwrs]

Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later



[idk-my-aesthetic]

isle kingdom au

so i’ve had this idea for an AU for a little while, but i don’t wanna actually write anything for it until i’m done w/ my current descendants wips, but i also wanna talk about it lol so ig im making a post? please send me asks about it i wanna talk about it.... anyway

**tw for child abuse and semi-graphic descriptions of violence.

basically the premise of the au is that even though he tried to get it passed at first, ben never went through with pulling the vks off the isle. he kept meaning too, but it just kept being pushed to the back of his list of priorities bc he was so busy w/ being king and never happened 

so bc of this, the core 4 stayed on the isle and never got off it. if you’ve read the stuff in my keep them close series u probably have a better idea of my hc of the isle, but the basics of it are that 1) most of the parents are really bad and abusive + the conditions are disgusting 2) none of the kids are really evil and 3) the vks are all kinda frenimes/rivals and will work together to keep eachother alive even if they act like they hate eachother or will even hurt eachother

so, in the ‘canon’ timeline before going to auradon the core 4 are a gang and slowly gaining power. they’re already the top of the vk gangs and are like gaining on some of the adult ones.

bc they never go to auradon, they just kinda keep doing what they already are and gain more and more power. but, as they gain power their parents start becoming afraid of them and acting like more abusive in attempts to keep the core 4 under their control 

ok bare w/ me for this next bit bc it’s gonna sound real ooc for like a sec then make sense

so, as they’re gaining power and their parents are haveing more and more trouble controlling them their parents are becoming more and more violent.

im not sure on the order yet, but basically cruella, jafar, eq, and malifacent all do something like really really bad to their respective kid, so one of the other core 4 kills them bc like. yeah. 

i have some vauge ideas of what each of them could have done and i don’t really know if i want to say them or even use them tbh bc they’re like.... bad, like real bad. which they kinda have to be, you know? bc like.... none of the core 4 would turn to killing if they didn’t have a real good reason, and their parents continuing the abuse that they always have woulden’t be enough, so the parents would have to do something really really bad for one of the others to justify killing them 

its important to mention that none of them kill their own parent. it’s always one of the other 4, im not sure who kills who just yet, but none of them kill their own parent. They’re saved from their parents by each other and they never really have any confrontation with their parents (which will change l8r 👀👀, let me explain)

Even tho they didn’t kill their own parents, everyone kinda assumed they did in order to take their places/gain power. A handful of their friends know the real story, but it’s mostly kept under wraps and it’s like general “knowledge” that they killed their parents for power. They’re not really hiding it or anything, I mean they did still each kill one of the 4 most powerful villains so it’s not like anyone is gonna be less afraid if they knew the truth. ppl just make assumptions and never really question them and they just let ppl think what they do

So bc their parents are dead and they let everyone assume they killed their own parent they very easily climb up the ranks and end up in charge of the isle bc atp they’re seen as the most ruthless/evil/powerful

So now that they’re in charge of the isle they start like..... actually making it a livable place. Ofc at first they try to make a version of Carlos’s machine to break the barrier, but they can’t get it to work so he just modifys it to steal magic from the barrair for them to use. (Another idea stolen from my keep them close series but like I like the idea lol)

And when I say they make it a livable place I mean they start doing stuff like building water purifiers, making like safe houses, establishing some kind of working economy, taking control of the barge drop offs and how everything is distributed, fixing broken electricity, etc etc

A lot of what they do is based off of Carlos’s machines and designs, which like obvi other ppl are helping him gather materials and for and build, since he has power bc he’s like one of the ppl in charge. And he like teaches other ppl how to do what he does and fix anything that goes wrong

Evie kinda puts herself in charge of setting up like medical centers + homes for kids and stuff. Also some kinda way to grow food. B4 they’re in charge nothing can really grow but they use the magic they steal from the barrier to make stuff grow. And evie can use it to make like lots of healing items and such

Jay ends up mostly in charge of like collecting and distribution of their recourses. At first like the barge is kinda a hugeeee problem to deal with bc ppl are fighting over the like moldy food and destroyed clothes and stuff. But eventually they get it organized and have stuff sent to the respective place it should, like clothes and scrap fabric are sent to a place that repairs and sells them, parts and electronics are sent to Carlos or his helpers, etc

Other minor vks like Celia, dizzy, the sea three, Diego, etc are all in this two but this is already really long so just know they’re like helping and like pretty high ranking/highly regarded. Send me an ask with questions please

Mal is kinda regarded as the ultimate leader/queen of the isle ig even though the other 3 have basically the same amount of power. Mostly bc her job ends up being keeping the adults who dislike them inline and keeping their power as heads of the isle

Most ppl are just kinda chill w/ them being in charge, especially a lot of the ppl who were banished for minor crimes. A few of the adult villains try to fight them and end up dead lol, and anyone caught doing especially bad things, like r*pe, hurting someone they shouldn’t have, being a child abuser, etc will end up killed by mal or one of the others. They don’t kill u for like every crime obviously only the like inexcusable ones. Stuff like stealing or mental illness or w/e they basically just help you work through

They’re aren’t any like real laws ig but they deal with issues as they go and give harsh punishments if needed. It serves to keep themselves seen as strong/evil/powerful despite all the good they do and helps keep others too afraid to challenge them. Like frollo isn’t going to challenge them if Ursula tried the same thing and got killed. (The fact that she abused uma and her siblings obviously had nothing to do with that,,,,,,,,,,,)

So yeah! They basically turned the isle into a inhabitable place in the years that they spent as its leaders, and it functions as its own kinda kingdom despite its harsh and confusing laws/rules

But we ain’t done yet, lol

Basically everything I’ve just explained is.... mostly backstory? Kinda? It’s the type of thing where you slowly find out about all this stuff while they actual story goes on, but I figured it’d be less confusing to explain it first :3

So the Actual story starts a few years after when Ben originally was supposed to take the vks off the isle. He, all the other princess/princes he want to school with, the core 4, the sea 3, etc are all in their mid to early 20s.

Auradon has basically no clue what’s the deal w/ the isle. They’re only interaction w/ them is through the like goblins that bring over the trash barges, but those guys are chill and basically don’t tell the aks anything lol.

So Ben is ruling his kingdom, and the core 4 are ruling their own, both sides are doing pretty well and ignoring each other, but then! All of a sudden there’s these sudden deaths/fires/some kinda terrorist attack on the outskirts of the kingdom.

I haven’t thought through this part too much, but basically he knows that they’re is some kinda threat, but he doesn’t know excatly what it is. All he does know is that the villain that is attacking is demanding to speak to the children of malifecent, jafar, cruella devil, and the evil queen.

He basically rounds up the heroes of those respective stories bc they’re all being threatened in some way or another. The mystery villain continues to do more damage and seems basically impossible to beat, and has given them a time limit b4 they’ll go and start destroying more

They discuss their options and decide their best plan is to go to the isle and convince them core 4 to help, bringing along the heroes and some of the main aks w/ them

Obviously it doesn’t go well bc they show up and mal basically has them arrested lmao

Again I have more in-depth ideas for this part but this post is already wayyyy to long so I’m trying to hurry and finish up

The talk, vks meet their respective heroes, everything is from ak/hero POV so as they explore the isle and talk to the core 4 and other vks they slowly find out about all ^^^ that stuff up there

The core 4 are eventually agree, and they go to face the villains only to find out its their parents who have been resurrected!!!! Fuck!!!!

Idk how or why just yet lmao but I will soon

Parents are obvi pissed, core 4 face their own parents and finally get like some kinda closer or smthn idk I feel like y’all get the gist

in the end auradon agknolages the isle as its own kingdom and the core 4 as its leaders and open trade/remove the barrier so the isle can continue to grow bc it’s been struggling due to lack of recourses

And that’s like the basic outline of my au! I wanna write it eventually but tbh I’m expecting eventually to be like 3 years from now bc of how much other stuff I have so for rn I’m just gonna blog about it. Obviously there’s a lot of other stuff/plots/emotional arcs etc I didn’t talk about bc like This Post Is So Long I’m So Sorry, So please please please send me asks/questions/comments/even your own ideas!!! Please. Everything about this will be tagged with “isle kingdom au” :3

[elftwink]

LUP and if you're cool with doing multiple, magnus, merle, and taako

i’m absolutely good to do multiple i love Having Opinions

LUP:

How I feel about this character: loml like IDEAL character god like not to show emotions i main but i cried when she was introduced and then she showed up and was just undeniably the coolest character on the podcast god BLESS

All the people I ship romantically with this character: lucretia or barry but like honestly to be honest with you. more w/lucretia and how much i even like barry and her relationship w/him is really more due to fan created content vs anything actually in the show, especially because literally we just dont hear anything about her feelings until they’re already together like griffin i get it its a big show theres a lot to cover but like. idk lup could have mentioned once that the feeling was mutual or something. this part should have been under unpopular opinion but whatever

My non-romantic OTP for this character: MAGNUS….. they r good friends

My unpopular opinion about this character: a tame opinion i have thats more just a hc is that i have is that she has a bob because she’s bisexual and also because chin-to-shoulder length hair is “just started transitioning and i need plausible deniability” culture and sometimes after that’s all done you’re like “this length isn’t bad as long as i properly cut and style it” and thats my proof. my other opinion is that i 100% honestly believe if she had switched places w/lucretia she would have done something similar and thats why she forgives lucretia so fast bc she understands the choice lucretia made. she would have executed it differently to be sure but like. same principle

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: interactions…… with lucretia….. more of them i am so starved ever since griffin said he wished we saw more of their friendship i have been in a pit of despair. give it to me

the rest are under a cut bc Long

TAAKO:

How I feel about this character: fucking superb you funky little wizard

All the people I ship romantically with this character: tbh mostly just kravitz. there are other ships im not against but honestly most other ships just sort of feel like….. like ppl just feel the need to ship taako w/every man to walk the earth and im over it, especially w/ppl he barely speaks to or to whom other members of the thb have better relationship dynamics

My non-romantic OTP for this character: ren!!!!!!! also davenport i feel like especially post canon they’re really close friends. also hurley. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: i DONT understand shipping him with sazed and i never have. for a long time i was CONVINCED there was going to be some brief mention of him being an ex or them being involved or even just of the relationship dyanmic being complicated or having a power imbalance favouring sazed or SOMETHING but literally all that happened was sazed got jealous and tried to poison taako. and like. idk was that backstory of watching 40 ppl die not traumatic enough for people? did we also need to add in that sazed was an abusive boyfriend? stop writing gay ppl suffering for entertainment

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i fucking lie awake at night thinking about what would have happened if taako fell under the thrall of the gaia sash and magnus and taako had to help him and hurley and sloane came back right away as dryads and joined the team. it haunts me. he failed that will save and i wanted CONSEQUENCES. also b4 anyone is like “they’re immune” prove it.

MAGNUS

How I feel about this character: Projection Central tbh like……. travis and magnus both are like uncanny valley like me. like so much like me that it is sometimes deeply uncomfortable. anyway i love magnus 

All the people I ship romantically with this character: julia obvs and also avi like… me and 4 other ppl for that one

My non-romantic OTP for this character: lucretia like…. team human. also 100% magnus lucretia and lup are the dream team in every single way they are great friends and they compliment each other really well change my mind

My unpopular opinion about this character: honestly. i think he should have taken the chalice like first of all it would have been dope for gameplay second of all i think every day about the way that would have affected his character

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: kravitz sidequest in suffering game like is arms outstretched cool? yes. do you know what would have been cooler? a fucking sidequest through the astral plane. we are denied plot points because magnus refuses to die…. unbelievable. also i wish we got to see more of him post canon like bc his finale was when he died we missed out

MERLE:

How I feel about this character: dilf

All the people I ship romantically with this character: davenport and like. kind of john i guess but not as much

My non-romantic OTP for this character: probably lucretia also…… its important to me that lucretia has friends. also like. i think post canon merle is one of the first people to forgive her and hes most like he was during tsc with obviously more growth and so they get along like old friends the quickest and the most. honestly i really do think merle is charming in a very specific merle way and he gets along with so many people so its like. honestly everyone. the man tried to be friends with the hunger like the compassion……. the care for other ppl… the commitment to joy…… i fucking love merle

My unpopular opinion about this character: DILF. THE TAZ FANDOM IS AFRAID OF THE TRUTH BUT IM NOT

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i always thought it was a weird choice to bring up merle’s arm during the chalice because it was played so much as a joke metatextually that it felt out of place next to the other two. especially knowing merle has backstory fodder too. i dont remember if they’d gotten to it yet. anyway i wish either they’d taken the arm thing more seriously the whole time or his option at the chalice was something else, i think the scene would have been more balanced. maybe it just felt out of place to deal with something we saw in game tho because the other two were backstory hooks. who knows.

then again griffin also brought up phandalin and they NEVER cared about that like it was always a joke so think partially it was griffin being like “CARE THESE ARE VERY SERIOUS THINGS THAT HAPPENED” so i guess thats fine. idk where im going with this. 

[leamen]

Reassurance

my friend met a friendly homeless guy the other night who showed him a community shelter and the idiot gives him acid as thanks even though the homeless guy was already clearly on other drugs and at the shelter the homeless guy blacked out and they kicked my friend out well they told him to come back a few hours later but my friend just ran away scared today a group of homeless guys went up to him at the park and said "well look who decided to show his face" he ran away he's been hearing things all day and a couple hours ago he told me he was hearing people talking about him as the killer bc he thinks he killed the homeless guy i really don't know if he's delusional or if something really really bad happened but he can't spend another night on the streets it's cold in montreal now i booked him a hotel room in the city and told him to rest up and we'll figure something out tomorrow and this fucking guy sends me a dick pic as a joke saying it was a selfie i'm sure he's just exhausted and delirious but i'm kind of upset he better be embarrased and apologize tomorrow morning i spent 300 dollars on his hotel bc he's in downtown i was so worried

lol he seems a funny guy the best he can do rn is get some good rest n food n water in him. hopefully getting his basic needs fulfilled will get the voices away how’d u two meet

we haven't met yet but i've known him on discord for a couple years he moved to montreal from alberta on my insistence he was depressed and his life was going nowhere and i felt the same living in new york until i moved to toronto i really opened up there and i thought him moving to montreal would be the same for him

did it end up worse?

but he ran out from his job last month yea couldn't pay rent and now he's homeless

wdym he ran out

he had a panic attack and stopped showing up

what was his job

at a restaurant i feel like an idiot when i moved to toronto i had at least a couple friends there and my mom knew people there i lived on couches my first month there and my friends helped me a lot but this guy went in totally alone i really should have known i feel really bad that's why i'm moving to montreal next month to help get him out of the mess i sent him in he thinks i'm being a good friend right now but fuck i'm really an idiot

so ur just gonna throw away everything u have in toronto?

i already did over a year ago when i lost my job in toronto and had to come back to new york at the start of the pandemic i lost all my friends way of life a lot of things important to me

cuz of the pandemic?

the pandemic

ah

i met a girl i loved very much and i watched our relationship crumble and turn bitter over the course of a year we should have broke up when i left i thought going back to school would help fill me with purpose but i just crumbled in school too and now i'm taking another gap year im just fucking everything up

no ur not. ur putting in as much effort as u can in one shitty situation after another whatever the outcome is, ur heart is in the right place eventually things will straighten out. there’s no changing the past, but u seem to have a lot of options ahead of u. u just gotta play ur hands right i’m glad u found sweetness when u did. it changed my life n i hope it’ll change urs

i dont know where my heart is i haven't been myself in over a year

from what i can tell ur an amazing person

u kno when someone u know is just out of it one day and not being themselves it's been like that for a really long time for me

i definitely know what ur talking ab the haze

i don't know who i am anymore i'm not good with words right now but i don't want to be who i used to be that version of me is too far away but i don't know who to become i can't describe it properly right now im just blabbering at this point im glad my friend didn't get mugged or arrested or worse i had a discord b4 but i tried to disconnect myself from anything to face my fear and to be totally alone but im back so i failed

u didn’t fail

the ppl in sweetness are nice

i tried that too n when i returned i was ashamed then i realized i had to accept those ppl into my life. i had to let them let me connect ya know ya know i haven’t known who i am for a long time as well. what helps me is getting into art, in whatever medium it may be. i personally chose conversation as my art form, hence the dream conversations in my story. just having a conversation whether it be with real ppl or made up ones that i write up helped me think ab myself i’m terrible at introspection and my own identity so i literally just ask ppl to describe me or what what they think of me lol ppl r always ready connect

i used to be the opposite i don't know myself anymore and im not really paying attention but i used to be so aware of my own state and attuned to subtleties i used to be really upbeat and happy go lucky but it's been so long since i've felt naturally like that i'm not sure if it's true for me to say that's the real me anymore maybe who i am now is the real me

i learned a long time ago that there’s no such thing as a “real me” the you before was the real u n the you now is also the real you. you are always you, it’s just that ppl change

what about personas and masks

ur going through a rough arc rn, but that doesn’t mean that it’s u forever

to me the true self is the one with nothing to hide you wrote about it in your story how you change a bit of yourself to everyone a different you tailored to different people but the most unchanged version of you i thought that was true self it's hard because i'm in a rough arc now but it's not the first time ive beat depression before and won but it feels like cancer it feels like remission is way harder to beat and it hurts the most to see your progress crumble and you go back to right where you started

definitely, but the fact that ur talking to me rn means that u haven’t been beaten yet letting it out to someone definitely helps a ton

[a different you tailored to different people] i believe those r all just different parts of one you

i wonder

because ppl can’t be one thing all the time. ppl r too complex for that it’s the ability to adapt and change that makes us human. knowing that things will always end up changing for u can be scary but it can also be comforting there’s always room for a new or a more

thanks for reminding me i already know this deep down inside but it's very deep down and i don't feel it there's a lot down there i'm not ready to face yet

as long as u know it’s down there n as long as you’ll get to it eventually, it’s ok to take ur time

i cant be taking my time not when i have so much time to make up for agh

just make sure ur not pushing urself too hard

sorry i think im just being difficult thank u i at least needed someone to talk to about what happened tn

no definitely not i very much enjoyed this conversation feel free to talk to me any time !

u as well

[angeltrapz]

saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

[roman-winter]

all of the sex+romance headcanons for ELI

holy FUCK that was a lot. HOPE U ENJOY IT BRUV.

🌟 What is my muse’s sexual/romantic orientation?

ANDREW-SEXUAL. but actually pan af.

💦 At what age did my muse lose their virginity?

he lost his virginity in high school sophomore year to one of the guys on the football team when he was a hot ass popular girl. and then he went on to sleep with most of the other guys on the team too, but also the girls on the cheer squad too

😘 Would my muse have sex on the first date?

for sure, and has many times in the past before he met andrew. if he wanted someone, he never really saw any reason to play coy or beat around the bush

😊 Would my muse ever ask someone on a date?

eli is the most straight up person ever, so when he was still dating around, he was almost always the person to do the asking.

👍 Does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?

he liked both, really, but he never had a problem being the one asking.

😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?

put a bat up his ass. but actually like there’s a big ass blood kink that emerges after the first murder happens. he loves him some wax play, and he’s also into other kinds of pain play, except for choking as i mentioned b4. he’s into vaguely public sex too, still, even now; mostly just sex in nontraditional places. but like he really just loves doing whatever andrew wants to do, and he’s pretty much open to trying anything at least once before saying he’s not into it

💬 When did my muse go on their first date?

his first date ever in high school he went to the movies with one of the guys on the football team, and it was a double date with another guy on the football team and one of the cheerleaders he was friends with. the date was find and ended well and he had a nice time, but then he ended up sleeping with the cheerleader a few weeks later so they were the real winners in that sitch

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?

at this point in life, his ideal date probably isn’t even much of a date at all, but more of like chilling with andrew in their lovely beautiful home with melody, making a nice dinner and then taking a bath together with any number of lush bath bombs. he does love going out for a nice dinner with andrew, and he’s also very into cute picnics in the park when it’s nice during the summer, but honestly he’s pretty lowkey especially now after so many years of being together. his ideal date is any date in which he’s around andrew

💗 Has my muse ever been in love?

YUP, HAS BEEN FOR ALMOST 30 YEARS AND STILL GOING STRONG. i think he probs had one or two relationships before andrew where he was in love with the other person, but he wasn’t really good at committing to relationships so they didn’t work out obviously

👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like?

you know, just the one that he’s had for nearly 30 years, no biggie.

👰 Would my muse ever get married?

i guess so…..

🌼 Would my muse prefer a big wedding or a small wedding?

the wedding that they had was completely perfect. nothing too big, surrounded by the people that they both loved, a celebration of their love. he wouldn’t have had it any other way tbh and he’s a big sap who still loves looking at the wedding pics and getting a little teary just thinking about how much he still loves andrew

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

a switch, but he does like being the dom with andrew, espeically since he’s a complete pushover in every day life when it comes to him, so it’s really fun to take charge and boss him around when they’re having sex

🏩 What was my muse’s first time like?

it was a little awkward, like most first times, and it was definitely at like a high school party in someone else’s parents bed. he had fun, though, and learned that he super loved giving head which is always good to know. def didn’t have an orgasm, which was kind of a disappointment to him because he’s def one of those people who had already perfected the art of giving himself an orgasm by that point. they dated for a little while, so things got better, but this is definitely the guy that led him to being like “well maybe i should check out girls” and then he was like THIS IS GREAT

🎆 Is my muse into monogamy?

he is so, so into monogamy, even though he never really thought he would be

💕 Would my muse ever be in a polyamorous relationship?

i think it’s def something he would’ve tried if the opportunity and the right people had come up, but it didn’t happen, and now he doesn’t want anyone but andrew, so probably not something he’s interested in anymore

🔥 Would my muse ever be up for a threesome?

100% yes. he HAS before. idk if it’s something that he would do now, unless it was a thing that was discussed at length with andrew and they were both completely in agreement about what it meant, but i don’t think it’s something he would suggest now, because andrew is more than enough for him

👮 Has my muse ever had sex in public?

YES. MANY TIMES. AND WOULD AGAIN. they luv their dangerous sex. half of the fun is the potential for getting caught, and eli is super super turned on by that possibility. i mean, they have perfected the art of the quickie mostly for public sex purposes

💔 What was my muse’s first heartbreak?

he’s only had one real heartbreak and it was with this girl he was dating senior year of high school. they were bffs before and then started dating right towards the end and it was going to be great and they were going to try to make a long distance open relationship work, but then she got really freaked out over eli moving to chicago for college and not being able to see him or anything and she broke it off like right before graduation. he was heartbroken for like weeks, and it took a while to get over, but now he’s glad it happened since it meant that he was more than ready for andrew when he showed up his sophomore year

💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?

literally everything that andrew is. mostly it has to do with supportiveness and willingness to listen, because eli is such an emotional and open person that really needs to be able to talk about things to feel okay. but literally at this point, if you asked him, he’d just say ANDREW

💋 How many people has my muse slept with?

A LOT OF PEOPLE. like definitely more than average, definitely double digits, but idk how many exactly bc i’m really bad at knowing how many is an excessive amount

👀 Is my muse the type to sleep around?

he was the type to sleep around before he met andrew, but then he slowly found himself having less and less desire to sleep with other people so he eventually stopped and just stuck with andrew. but before that he was like the damn queen of sleeping around, doing whatever he wanted when he wanted, and just having a great time doing it

👎 Would my muse ever cheat on their partner?

NEVER. he was all about free love before he met andrew, but now there’s no one he would ever want to sleep with besides him.

😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?

that first boyfriend that he had was definitely the worst in both regards, but mostly just because they were both inexperienced high school kids who were dating each other and sleeping with each other because that was what you did in high school and they were both popular so it made sense. it wasn’t horrible, but the sex definitely wasn’t fulfilling for eli, and the guy wasn’t very interesting

💲Would my muse ever date/marry/sleep with someone because they were rich?

nah, his fam is loaded anyway, and he’s way too much of a sap to ever successfully use someone for something like that.

👓 Would my muse ever lie for sex?

maybe he would lie and say he’ll hide all of the lemon bars from andrew if they don’t have a little morning fun, but he doesn’t mean it. he’s a horrible liar, it wouldn’t work.

👿 Would my muse ever blackmail someone into sex?

def not. even before andrew, it was all about doing exactly what you want, when you want. he wouldn’t make someone do something they didn’t want to EVER.

🎥 Who is my muse’s celebrity crush?

timothy olyphant he’s pretty damn obsessed with winona ryder and would probably melt if he ever saw her in person, like he’s been in love with her since the 80s. but also hugh jackman too.

🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

HE WOULDN’T CHEAT ON ANDREW, SO THE ANSWER IS ANDREW but he wants everyone to know that he’s sleeping with andrew sooooo

💍 Has my muse ever had a one-night stand?

he had a lot of one night stands his first year of college and he had a good time with them. he had a few more sophomore year, but then things changed when andrew came around and he got way less interested in that sort of thing, even if he tried to keep it going for a bit.

💝 Does my muse like Valentine’s Day?

eli fuckin LOVES valentine’s day, because he’s a big sap and loves doing things for andrew. any chance to be overly romantic is his favorite thing ever and so he’s one of those ppl who plans valentine’s day like weeks in advances. it’s not like a surprise thing usually, though, because he wants andrew to enjoy it as much as him, so i feel like it’s very much like a joint effort to decide what they wanna do, but then he throws in a bunch of cute surprises throughout the day, and probably leaves valentine’s on his desk in his classroom, or like has zeke deliver flowers to him and shit

💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it?

it’s a lot about the way he says things, how comfortable he feels teasing and joking around with andrew. the fact that he would drop everything to do something for him and do it gladly. being able to sit around with him in silence, no need for any words, just existing together without feeling the need for words. cooking andrew’s favorite things when he’s had a bad day or just seems a little off. buying his favorite lush things as a treat. always texting him when sunny brings in his lemon bars and setting aside a few for him, even though he would never eat them himself. just being completely unselfconscious about his feelings for him, telling other people his favorite things about andrew, and when he’s around his complete inability to keep his hands off of andrew, even just casual touches. HE JUST LOVES ANDREW SO FUCKIN MUCH.