#god i just [clenches fist] love mianmian

[wandering-bitch]

Chapters: 13/15 Fandom: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Luó "Mián Mián" Qīngyáng/Wēn Qíng Characters: Wēn Qíng, Luó "Mián Mián" Qīngyáng, Niè Míngjué, Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo, Niè Huáisāng Additional Tags: Slow Burn, some language, Minor Injuries, Secret Identity, luo "shit that was a double entendre" qingyang, wen "oh no im a lesbiab" qing, minor sect politics, gratuitous sword content, the 'violence' in the warnings is just some graphic surgery, Canon Compliant Summary:

Two months after the Second Battle of Nightless City, Wen Qing got a job at the hospital in Yangquan. If she had been willing to let her new identity “Huang Daiyu” be a cultivator, she would probably be running the clinic. As a regular medicore doctor, however, she was simply one of many. If anyone noticed that the fractures she set healed faster than normal, no one mentioned it. She was a largely forgettable doctor in a largely forgettable town.

At least she was, until Sect Leader Nie Mingjue barged into the hospital, holding an unconscious woman who was bleeding on the floor. “Give me your best doctor!” he bellowed. The head of the clinic pointed to Wen Qing, who gave herself one second to be surprised before taking control of the situation.

--

meet cute but the girl has her hand literally inside your stomach because you just woke up during surgery//meet cute but your hand is literally inside the girl's bleeding stomach wound because she woke up during surgery

[trensu]

Episode 27: The One where I Want to Punch Basically Every Sect Leader in the Face. Repeatedly. With a Chair.

And we start off back in the rain, AKA OUR ENDLESS TEARS

Wwx is like, do you remember our promise?

And lwj flashbacks TO THEIR LANTERN SCENE FROM THE ONE WHERE LWJ FINALLY SEES THE LIGHT

WE GET TO SEE LWJ’S PRECIOUS BABY FACE AS HE FALLS HEAD OVER HEELS IN THAT FLASHBACK

IT HURTS SO GOOD

Wwx: i wished to stand with justice and live without regrets. But tell me now, who’s strong, who’s weaker? Who’s right and who’s wrong?

Lwj: wei ying! 

Oh god, his voice! HE’S DISTRESSED

Wwx: is this the promise we pledged our lives to keep?

THEY BOTH LOOK SO HEARTBROKEN RN

Oh, look, lwj is doing the deathgrip of gay yearning on bichen again. We haven’t seen that in awhile AND I WISH WE WEREN’T SEEING IT NOW

Okay, but for real, how can lwj look so hurt here when the actor is literally doing nothing with his face??

I know i’ve mentioned that before, BUT C’MON, HOW?? HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK??

Wwx: my only regret is that i didn’t stop the jin clan who took living people as bait

I REGRET YOU NOT TAKING DOWN THE JIN CLAN TOO

WE COULD’VE AVOIDED SO MANY PROBLEMS IF WE’D JUST KILL OFF 90% OF THAT CLAN, OMG

And now wwx is all, i missed my chance to protect wen ning before so now i MUST leave to save him

BC WWX IS THE BEST MOST HONORABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD

Oh no

Oh noooo

He’s pulling out his demon flute. We’re gonna get THAT SCENE

Wwx: lan zhan, if i finally have to fight them, i’d prefer to fight with you

Wwx: if i am doomed to die, at least i can be killed by you. That would be worth it.

HE SAYS THAT BC HE TRUSTS VIRTUOUS LWJ TO STOP HIM IF HE REALLY IS IN THE WRONG

AND I AM SCREAMING IN PAIN RN

BC LOOK AT LWJ’S FACE

HE’S LISTENING TO HIS SOULMATE TELL HIM THAT HE WANTS HIS DEATH TO BE AT HIS HAND

Oh god, he’s doing the bichen deathgrip again

He tears his gaze away from wwx and turns to the side TO LET THEM ALL GO PAST

EYES LOWERED AS HIS HEART BREAKS INTO A MILLION PIECES

HE’S CRYING OH GOD HE’S CRYING

THERE ARE TEARS GOING DOWN HIS FACE, OH GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

HE DIDN’T EVEN CRY WHEN HIS HOME GOT BURNED AND HIS FAMILY WAS MISSING AND/OR DYING

And now he drops his umbrella to the ground AS HE TRIES TO DROWN HIMSELF IN THE RAIN

*HYSTERICAL SOBBING*

THEY PACKED ALL THAT HEARTBREAK INTO THE FIRST 6MIN OF THE EPISODE, WTF, SOMEBODY STAB ME

And after all that emotional torture we get Plot Stuff happening

Blah blah wwx at the burial mounds blah blah sect leader banquet blah blah

Ugh, gross, they’re letting the idiot sect leaders talk again

They’re all blah blah wwx is evil blah blah he murders ppl blah blah we hate him blah blah

SHUT UP YOU BUNCH OF WALKING HUMAN-RIGHTS-VIOLATIONS

This whole part here is so difficult to watch. They’re literally just trash-talking my PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY

Jc, lwj, and lxc look visibly uncomfortable with what’s going down and they kind of sort of tried to defend wwx but they didn’t present a united front or hold their ground

Instead they let yao and ouyang run their stupid mouths

Anyway

Here’s little itty bitty bits of almost wangxiantics in the middle of this mess

Jgs: yeah, jc, i know wwx is your trusted bro and all but idk if wwx actually respects your authority. Do something about it, maybe

Lwj: *subtly glares at jgs*

And then everyone joins in on dragging wwx’s name through the mud bc apparently that’s the hot new thing in the cultivator world

If you look closely while this is happening, you can see that lwj legit GRINDS HIS TEETH with how much he’s holding back. MY POOR BB HAVING TO SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO EVERYONE DISPARAGE HIS SOULMATE

Jgs: wwx totally doesn’t respect you, jc, my bro. Everyone here heard him say how much he thinks you suck or whatever

Lwj: No I didn’t.

OOOOH, LWJ IS ANGRY AS HELL

HE’S OUTRIGHT GLARING AT JGS 

Jgs: what??

Lwj: i never heard wei ying say that, nor did i see him disrespect clan leader jiang

HANGUANG-JUN I LOVE YOU, LOOK AT YOU DEFENDING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU 

And ugh, disgusting, jgy steps in to be all “oh, well, wwx said so many awful things that day, who can possibly remember the specifics?”

Lwj visibly swallows here, as if he’s choking back a response, and his lips are all pursed. 

HE’S FURIOUS. HE’S ROILING WITH IMPOTENT ANGER, WHICH IS THE WORST KIND OF ANGER, TBH

That’s all the wangxiantics we get from that terrible awful sect leader banquet

THOSE SECT LEADERS NEED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE

LIKE, A LOT

WITH A CHAIR

OR A TABLE

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME JUST TAKE BICHEN AND BEAT THEM ALL WITH IT

OR BETTER, YET, I’LL USE BAXIA. I WON’T EVEN CUT THEM UP. I’LL JUST BEAT THEM WITH THE BROAD PART

*ANGRY YELLING*

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute! 

This isn’t a wangxiantic

But it is an EPIC MOMENT that should be commemorated.

Because here we get…

*drum roll*

MIANMIAN BEING A BOSS

Jz: blah blah wwx kills our people indiscriminately blah blah

Mm: not indiscriminately

Mm: indiscriminate is not accurate

And everyone around her is like, confused and offended because they’re assholes

Mm: in this specific case, if the overseers did abuse the Wen prisoners and kill wen ning, then what wwx did was not “killing indiscriminately”

Ouyang: nah, the overseers said they never abused/killed anyone

Mm: OF COURSE THEY’D FUCKING SAY THAT. THEY DON’T WANT TO FACE PUNISHMENT, YOU IDIOT

(okay, she didn’t call him an idiot outright or swear, but it was totally there in her tone of voice and also ouyang is an idiot so there)

Mm: you all think you’re so smart and voice your opinions so loudly

Mm: I SECEDE FROM THIS BULLSHIT. FUCK THE JIN CLAN AND YOUR STUPID CLAN POLITICS

And she throws down her jin robes and mARCHES RIGHT OUT OF THAT SHITHOLE WITH HER HEAD HELD HIGH

MIANMIAN PLEASE MARRY ME

Lwj watches her do that and two seconds later follows her out bC HE RECOGNIZES BADASSERY WHEN HE SEES IT (and also she defended the love of his life)

And that badass moment ends

But the banquet of idiots keeps going

The jin clan needs to learn how to shut the fuck up

God, they just go on and on and on

Why are they torturing me like this

OH WAIT, WE’RE OUTSIDE THE BANQUET HALL NOW

We see lwj and mm standing together on a terrace, talking to each other

BUT WE DON’T GET TO HEAR WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER AND THAT HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY

WHAT DID THEY SAY

TELL MEEEEEEE

Oh, side note to let you all know this direct quote from nmj - “that girl really has a backbone.”

Okay nmj, i’m slightly less angry at you now. I won’t try to beat you with bichen or a table or a chair.

(but now i kinda wish mm would join the nie clan. I think she’d do well there and also i want to see her carry a gigantic saber)

We get some chitchat with the Official Bros™ but idc let’s move on 

(tho i do appreciate the look nmj gives jgy, like, HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME lolol)

Ooooh, now we’re getting lan fam time

ANGRY lan fam time, uh oh.

Lqr: lwj, have you regretted it? I didn’t punish you when you broke into the Forbidden Chamber bc i thought you’d self-reflect 

Lqr: you shouldn’t have gone to qiongqi way and let wwx go. Should you make one mistake after another?

And lwj is kneeling in front of him this whole time with a blank face

Lqr: what’s the use of getting you to memorize the Great Big Book of Lan Fam Rules?? Tell me, what is rule 52?

Lwj: No association with evil

He answers immediately and without any inflection to his voice.

Lqr: did you forget what happened to your father???

AND WE FINALLY GET A REACTION HERE

Lwj practically gasps and lifts his gaze to meet his uncle head-on

Lwj: my mother, she…!

Lqr: hold your tongue!

And just like that, lwj shuts down again; expression flat and gaze lowered

GOD, THIS CLAN HAS HURT HIM SO MUCH THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE

I MEAN, THEY MUST’VE, FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO JUST DISCONNECT LIKE THAT

THAT IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A NORMAL WELL-ADJUSTED PERSON

Basically the entire lan clan needs to go to therapy, like, STAT

Oh, i just noticed, lwj has his fists clenched at his sides. He’s clenching them hard, too. I think they’re trembling a bit, actually…

Lqr: i’ve been taking care of you since you were a kid; you’re like my son.i was strict bc i wanted you to stick to the right path and avoid your father’s tragedy

Lqr: that’s what i wanted to say to you. I hope you choose the right path. You may leave.

Lwj still bows respectfully before taking his leave

And i’m sure y’all are wondering, hey trensu, why did you make us endure that angry lan fam time that hurt us deep in our soul?? That wasn’t wangxiantic at all!

That’s where you're wrong, my friends!

It’s actually SUPER wangxiantic bc lqr kept drawing parallels to lwj’s dad the practically whole time

You know, the dad that married their mother who murdered some guy and had the whole world turn against her. 

(Sound familiar?)

The same mother that dad loved with his entire being and did what he could to keep her safe from the ramifications of her actions? By marrying her? And hiding her in the cloud recesses?

YEAH, HE’S EQUATING WANGXIAN WITH LWJ’S PARENTS’ TRAGIC ROMANCE

Bc, you know, that’s a totally hetero comparison to make lol

Oh, now we get to see our favorite Disaster Het be less of a disaster

We’re not going into detail here bc we’re not here for hetero shenanigans, yuck (actually, i’m apparently weak to Pining Idiots of all kinds bc this whole jzx/jyl scene is giving me tender feelings)

BUT

I do want to add that OMG FOR REAL LWJ AND JZX HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR LOVE LIVES, IT’S FANTASTIC

I NEED 10 MILLION FICS OF THEM COMMISERATING OVER THEIR SHARED DISASTER-NESS

Also, how the HELL did jzx end up being the one who was able to express his intentions clearly? He was all “please don’t go to the burial mounds, stay here with me so i can protect you from all who would want to hurt you”

DAMN IT LWJ, IF YOU’D JUST SAY THAT TO WWX, HE’S UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON. 

YOU CAN’T JUST BE ALL “COME TO GUSU” WITH NO EXPLANATION

Jzx accomplished this before you did, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

Huh, okay, i guess i did go into a bit of detail with that hetero nonsense. Oh well.

Now we’re at the burial mounds again with wwx

AND WE SEE A-YUAN PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIMEEEEE!!

ANY A-YUAN MOMENT IS BY DEFAULT A WANGXIANTIC, GUYS, TRUST ME.

AAHHHH, WE SEE A-YUAN DO THAT LEG-GRABBY THING HE DOES!!!

HE’S SO CUTE. TOO ADORABLE.

I LOVE YOU A-YUAN

Lol, wwx is all if you don’t let go i’ll plant you like a turnip

And a-yuan plops himself down in the dirt like YOUR THREATS DON’T WORK ON ME, OLD MAN, I LIKE BEING IN THE DIRT

Then he asks wwx for 3 elder brothers and 2 elder sisters, awwww. He thinks wwx can grow them in the garden (like cabbage patch kids!!!)

Plot stuff happens

Blah blah wwx and wq share moment blah blah jc shows up blah blah

Lol

Jc sees that glowing talisman door thing and is like THAT SIGN WON’T STOP ME BC I CAN’T READ

And then whips it down with zidian

Now we get some feelings-laden Yunmeng bros time

A-yuan shows up and leg-grabs jc and it’s ADORABLE

But jc yells at him bc he’s a JERK

Wwx scolds jc and then is a Dad to a-yuan: don’t put your hand in your mouth, you were just touching dirt!

Awww, we get to see jc fight back a smile at this! HE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE, I JUST KNOW IT.

Plot plot plot stuff happens

More plot stuff happens

And the episode ends with us still in the burial mounds with the yunmeng bros

And you know what, i’m just gonna focus on our BAMF mianmian moment bc quite frankly the rest of the episode either had me in tears of anguish or spitting mad. There was no inbetween. 

I’m gonna end up having blood pressure problems at this rate.

I’m too poor young to have blood pressure problems.

The Jin clan better pay for any medical bills I get because of them, I'm just saying

Return to Masterpost

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 14/?

MeetCute modern!AU [mianqing edition]: “Don’t Bother Looking Down”

[title is from the song “We Fell in Love in October” by Girl in Red]

[let me live vicariously through my baby girls ok?? let me have this]

*

Qingyang wishes she never moved in this damned country in the first place. Coach Nie followed her alright, so she should be fine and, really, she is thankful for this amazing opportunity. But now she kind of regrets giving up her Lanling citizenships in order to move back to her mother’s home country and fence for the Qishan national team. She understands the language to some extent, but the people there immediately notice her accent and they glare at her whenever she speaks.

Coach Nie moved country as well just to make a champion out of her and, although he respects her for the choice she made, Qingyang knows he misses Qinghe and the people he left behind.

Getting into the national team was nothing compared to the impossible task to fit in and live a normal life. Even her new teammates don’t talk to her unless it’s strictly necessary and they always speak in that quick dialect of theirs just to gossip behind her back. Some of the guys in the male team are actually friendly and manager Xiao Xingchen is always offering to help her with this or that. Meng Yao had to leave Lanling to make the team and even his mother is, coincidentally, from Nightless City just like hers. She doesn’t like Xue Yang: barely seventeen, never heard of manners in his life, but he’s a genius in his own way and Qingyang has a lot to learn from his swordsmanship. However, his younger step sister A-Qing is the loveliest girl and the foulest mouth on the planet whenever she begrudgingly cheers for him, so maybe Qingyang could, potentially, relax a bit and have some fun while training.

But no. Their respective teams captains are actually evil and want them to suffer through impossible training sessions just to let them bask in glory without doing much themselves. Wang Lingjiao especially hates Qingyang’s guts and does everything in her power to make her leave.

It’s not Qingyang’s fault if her disgusting boyfriend had tried to give her a lift home too many times already. She wouldn’t even accept a drink from Wen Chao, let alone a lift. But one day Qingyang has enough, honest to the gods she has.

So it’s with a hollow heart that she stumbles into a random library to check if they have something to consult for her anxiety... when she sees her.

The girl that lives above her in her new apartment complex with her Grandma and younger brother. The one who always scowls at her because she never gets the trash out in time. The one who their landlady refers to with the ever lovely title of “our little overachiever” and “med-school dropout” any chance she gets. The one who apparently went to Lanling University along with Qingyang’s cousin ZiXuan and was the top of their class. The one who always runs around with the child she babysits for the rich couple at the end of the street.

And fuck no, Luo Qingyang’s not gonna mess with that.

So when she readies herself for yet another awkward encounter with the angry looking woman, the last thing she expects is to be welcomed with a blinding smile.

“Welcome, how can I help you today?”

And if Qingyang has to rely on some forced pleasantries between retail worker and client just to experience some human connection... so be it. It may be sick to ask for kindness this way, but she’ll make do.

She has to.

[details underneath]

Wen Qing hates her job. Not because she hates books, although she’s not a great reader herself (save from poetry, but nobody needs to know that), but because her boss is the epitome of “welcoming host” and she’s suffering from a chronic case of resting bitch face and forcing smiles is the last thing she wants out of life.

She came back to Qishan to look after her grandma after she broke her femur and her brother Wen Ning is studying to become a teacher and the final exam is nearing. Wen Qing didn’t want him to drop out to look after their grandma, so she left her fancy scholarship behind and came back.

XiChen is her boss at the library and took her in after his brother WangJi asked him to: Wen Qing and A-Yuan are distant cousins, but she and her brother didn’t have a job by the time the child became an orphan and their grandma was too old to look after him; hence, WangJi and his husband Wei Ying adopted A-Yuan and didn’t want him to live separated from his original family, so they moved in Qishan and frequently meet with the Wen’s.

Wen Qing feels bad about dropping out of university, but she refuses to regret it since she’s more than happy to look after her grandma. ZiXuan is a pediatrician now and several years have passed since they were classmates and competing for grades, but he checks on her through video chats every once in a while.

(ZiXuan is -coincidentally- Qingyang’s cousin and they talk a lot more than what they used to do now that he’s married and his wife is waiting for their first child. Turns out, ZiXuan is a secret matchmaking mastermind now that he is happily married and has matured enough to want his dear ones to be happy as well. So he plants the seed of curiosity in Wen Qing’s head by talking about his “hot and exceptionally talented fencer cousin who could possibly bench press a grown man. have I mentioned she’s hot?”)

...

(“Ew, do you think your cousin is hot?” / “Hot as in... lesbian terms, you get me” / “No. I really don’t. I’m straight.” / “Sure Wen Qing. Sure.”)

...

Qingyang keeps going to the library after her practice, in full gear and with her hair messy and red cheeks just to see Wen Qing smile at her and being forced to be nice to her. She absolutely knows the other woman is forced to do so and so she annoys her with pleasantries and silly things, but she never outright flirts with her [the lesbian courtship prevents the subjects from using such direct and straight(pfffffft)forward ways of approach, obviously].

...

(“I’m so sorry for forgetting about the trash the other day” / “That’s [*clenches fists*] fine. Don’t worry about it” / “Will you forgive me, Miss Wen? Really? [*Qingyang used ‘Bambi eyes’. It’s very effective!*] / “Don’t worry, that’s fine [*Wen Qing wishes the ground could swallow her whole. The nerve!*])

...

Wei Ying obviously befriends Luo Qingyang: he has to. He’s never seen Wen Qing this flustered in his life and he needs something to entertain him while Lan Zhan is at work. So he meddles bc he’s a little shit, but we all love him for it anyway.

...

(“Did you make a library card yet or...?” / “I don’t want to give that woman my ID, she might call the police on me once she gets a hold on my name” / “You literally live in the same building” / “It’s a big building. And I always misplace the trash, I’m afraid she’ll call the police on me saying I’m actually hiding a corpse in my apartment. No thank you” / “It’s a library subscription, not a birth certificate for gods’ sake” / “I’m not risking it, Wei Ying” / “Then I’ll tell you what to do.......”)

The next day at the library...

(“I want to get a card” / [*internally screeching* “took you long enough, wasting my time”] “Name?” / “MianMian”)

...

Which is apparently the wrong thing to say, because Wen Qing loves poetry and goes ballistic for any reference she can pick in normal conversations. So when she hears ‘MianMian’ she immediately goes “Then my name is YuanDao” and it’s like a fucking switch has been pressed and now WEN QING IS THE ONE PURSUING but Qingyang doesn’t know anything about poetry and doesn’t know what to do. She’s created a butch monster who actually genuinely smiles at her now and that’s too powerful for a small femme like her holy fuck.

O_o

Additional content: Jiang Cheng goes to a million blind dates until he meets XiChen out of fucking nowhere and they move in together two days later + Meng Yao seduces Nie MingJue with hot fencing routines without even sparing a glance at the older man (his drive is focused only on the medal and... for NMJ that’s kind of hot) + Wen Ning is actually a heartthrob but he’s not interested and runs away from people actually swooning at his feet left and right + Xue Yang is not a criminal and only wants his sister to finally get the service dog of her dreams + Song Lan is a referee but he gets distracted by the Qishan team manager bc... boy is he fine

o_O

[I’m suffering. Can someone write this I do not have time to commit to my own writing and I don’t trust myself with the delivery.

I’m but a tiny prompt-machine help me D:]

*

[wandering-bitch]

Notes for I Have Always Loved The Door (pt 1)

I Have Always Loved The Door is the Wen Qing/Mianmian fic that all the wlw wanted but canon could not in any way make happen 

This is part one of three, i’m sorry, but it is a 30k fic and i’ve never written anything this long. it’s like. six months of my life. annotations are gonna be longer, too.

What is this fic About? Uh. Lots. Mostly your relationship with your past and your future. making choices about what you carry with you into your life.

title is from Charly Bliss’ “Percolator” but like. the rest of the fic is in no way related to the song. Just the lyrics “I have always loved the door/but I will always love you more/I love metaphors” fit well for the wen qing mood

it is a fucking CRIME that wen qing died, and while i’m happy that luo qingyang got a happy ending with a soft man who just wants to make her happy, i think she deserves more. so i gave her a fancy job

i struggled with the outline for this so much until i realized that mianmian’s canon arc is partially about saying goodbye to your home/family because you no longer fit there + it’s not a great place anymore. and that’s so close 2 wen qing’s

so that drove a great part of the plot, and helped shape the youya/tuzai bit

ch 1

the first chapter is so funny and then nothing ever approaches it, i’m so sorry i got ur hopes up with the shennans TTnTT

i hate most of my writing after it’s up but i still like this chapter. wen qing being a doctor, nmj knowing his place, mianmian cursing loudly

“If you’ve been knuckles-deep in me, you can consider yourself a friend” i spend a lot of time in this fic trying to kill wen qing with Lesbianism, but honestly that’s just to make up for mianmian killing herself with lesbianism.

this was b4 i decided to care how i ended chapters haha

ch 2

i’m proud honestly of this fic alternating perspective, bc it forced me to learn to write more distinct voices. 

“are you eating enough red meat?” “in the unclean realm?” 

if i had 2 be in a Great Sect i would 100% want to be in the big sexy sword jock sect but unfortunately i’m a vegetarian

please think of me, an average-sized gay, with noodle arms, pushing away all the giant cooks and self-appointed nie aunties, who are trying to shove meat into my mouth

like you know how cats avoid the bath??? and their people are like “jesus fuck how is this 10 lb animal defeating me, i’m huge and strong and also have thumbs”??? that, except it’s an average sized sword gay fighting ten RIPPED aunties holding out beef

i do love the mianqing dynamic i created here and i’m not sure i kept it up but WHATEVER this is about annotations not about editing

mianmian: god FUCK the jin clan, the jin clan sux. wen qing: hmmmmmmmmmm

i think mianmian’s three older sisters might show up in a future work in the series

yeah, i fell in love with this au, there will be at least one epilogue.

ch 3

oh ho ho!!! it’s the beginning of Sword Content!!!

i watched so many videos of dao work vs jian work and then i ignored all of it!!!

by that i mean “there were only like two decent-quality videos on dao work that i found on youtube and i couldn’t study them hard enough to get what i wanted”

someone trying to correct your practice with boring, irrelevant suggestions??? it’s extremely likely, it’s happened to me multiple times, i straight up stopped practicing outside bc of it

please, men, i’m begging you. if you see me doing martial arts, rather than correcting me, ask “oh cool, what are you doing? ah, i do [this art]” and like. talk with me like i’m a human

not to be A Bitch but there is a 70% chance that i’ve actually studied more marital arts than you, on account of most ppl abandoning within a few years, and me practicing aikido for more than a fucking decade

god swinging a weapon full-speed at someone and stopping inches from their head??? a Fun Time

mianmian’s doing it as a big dick energy move

but in my school we just trusted each other to not fuck up.

im too gay to want any “”””homophobia””” or “””discovering you’re gay”””” or “””coming out”””” plots, i just wanna fast forward to the “”””i wanna kiss a girl””” bit

OH MAN i forgot wwx’s voice in wen qing’s head. 

“even after his death the yiling patriarch managed to annoy her” i love wen qing

ch 4

IT’S THE MEMORIAL DINNER CHAPTER

memorial dinners are an important part of my household’s mourning process sorry

“she waved her hand to indicate the entirety of his use of demonic cultivation, fall from grace, and mass murder” mood wen qing. fucking mood.

oh my god im rereading this and seeing where i misspelled shit ugh. sorry lwj

so sometimes i’m vague about food and that’s because the only food i can think of when i’m writing is pork. i just. can’t remember what other foods u can eat. pork and also buns (but meat buns) soup? never heard of her. chicken? what is that??? piles of vegetables??? no one eats that obviously

please remember that im vegetarian and not only do i not eat pork, what i do eat is piles of vegetables

ah yes!!! time for mianmian to say prisons are for burning!!!!

our girls are both radical leftists sorry not sorry

acab, reproductive rights, prisons are for burning, capitalism is an inherently exploitative system, unionize your workplace

“tip your servers well” -- wen qing

wwx, shouting from beyond the grave: GET SOME, GIRLS!!!

wwx’s ghost: do y’all need anything? snacks? water? a condom? ah, love you kids, you keep me young

oh i forgot “for my local radical,” i should make sure to keep using ‘my radical’ as a cute endearment for the wives

ch 5

awwwww yeahhhhhhh trauma dreamsssss

writing jin guangyao is so fun!! and stressful!!!

fun because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability, and that’s just a fun exercise

fun also because i Love a Bitch. 

stressful because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability. 

the bit where he threatens to expose wen qing and mentions specifically that nmj does not like being lied to??? took me several times to perfect and im still not happy!!! 

but i’m deeply proud of him sending the flame hairpiece, that’s some a+ innocent-looking menace right there, that’s the only thing on this planet i believe in anymore

i loved making up sect politics that weren’t specifically “let’s put up watchtowers” because i don’t think that happened while jgs was still alive

uh @ self why did i capitalize da-ge that’s so uncomfortable.

oh my god i just realized that jin guangyao has to watch his ex boyfriend/nie mingjue treat mianmian the way he used to be treated oh fuck

sorry i was not at all writing 3zun cinderella when i wrote this so i wasn’t in the habit of thinking about jgy being in pain and now???

get fukt jin guangyao

he 100% cries to lxc about this later

what’s that??? you say i keep writing overthinkers who are anxious and terrified of everything??? huh i’m not sure i agree and if even if you were right i’m not sure it means anything

“grumpy frog” mianmian mvp

god the flame hairpiece is one of like two whole good endings i did for this fic haha

next time: ch 6-10!!

[wandering-bitch]

Annotations on I Have Always Loved The Door (pt 3)

I Have Always Loved The Door is my Mianmian/Wen Qing fic about reconciling with your past, growing into yourself, and also Swords. Here’s director’s commentary on the last third of the fic, chapters 11-15!

chapter 11: hahaha everything’s getting worse

my notes in the outline said “fatal journey happens, we cried, u know”

look im still not 100% over fatal journey. nie brothers nie brothers nie brothers!!!!

just realized we referred to jgy as meng yao??? probably because this is around when i started writing Falling in Love with Love (Again) which takes place b4 sunshot

however i will say that nmj calls him meng yao bc he’s being petty

ah yes the next jgy scene!!! i struggled with how to write his thinly veiled threat so it was clear it was a threat while also being perfectly innocuous. I think i managed here

honestly in this universe jin guangyao is going to try to murder wen qing and mianmian is gonna have to spend so much time protecting her.

“huang daiyu and dinner! my two favorite things!” mianmian why are u such a lesbian

im very sorry about nie mingjue burning nie huaisang’s art but it did happen in the novel and i love how much it hurts

“[nmj] stepped into her space, hand on baxia. wen qing had been glared at and threatened by many men in her life. she had stopped cowing to them years ago” im a little proud of this. the mental image of nmj stepping so close he has to crane his neck down to see her, assuming she’d move back. and wen qing staying put and glaring at him just as grumpily from like. right below his nose

ch 12: swords swords swords. 

mianmian’s pure joy at getting swords!!! my joy at writing swords!!!! people respecting mianmian!!!!

(mianmian Knows huang daiyu is a wen at this point bc she’s not a dang idiot, she knows whomst would fear their identity being leaked)

i casually said mianmian fucked jiang yanli for two reasons: one, because i’m just not interested in writing a character having a sexuality crisis and 2. because jiang yanli fucks.

say it with me kids: jiang yanli fucks.

i had such trouble figuring out what things the vice general of qinghe would need to do at this point haha

“i’m not a complete sword jock” 

“if you’re going to call me jie i’m going to use that authority to tell u what to do” “and if i didn’t call u jie” “then i’d use my authority as ur doctor”

ch 13: makin a choice 2 stay

this is around when i lost major steam writing this. i knew some of the things i wanted to touch on (the memorial banquet, a cute date, the reveal tm) but not the shape of the ending

however, writing the banquet scene helped me figure out part of it: wen qing finding that qinghe can be a place she belongs, even if she has to leave. ma lingzxin and xiang tengfei deciding “this is our doctor and if anything happened to her we would kill everyone in this room”

(honestly they join mianmian’s “keep jgy’s schemes away from the infirmary” team)

Mianmian Wants To Kiss Huang Daiyu 

ch 14 final date <3 <3 <3 <3 

sword content. look every time someone commented that they liked the sword content i became more powerful. i don’t think of myself as swayed by readers (for instance i did not change anything about nmj dying even tho ppl kept hoping and praying) but i AM easily swayed to add sword content

(im including unarmed content as sword content for the purpose of Emotional Sword Content)

im so incredibly fucking gay over the idea of owning a part of someone’s spiritual swords. like. i gotta get me a girl who will give me a part of her own swords.

again, youya means shoot/sprout and tuzai means slaughter. hence the visions.

ch 15 hey look it’s what we’ve been waiting for!!!

i don’t know i don’t know i really don’t know

nie huaisang would 100% have destroyed wen qing if she told him she didn’t use any cultivation to help nmj

BABIES

i don’t know much about the midwife but i do know they’re about 85 years old, spry as hell, grey as hell, and grumpy as hell. but their hands are always soft and gentle and they tell u exactly what they’re going to do. 

“he was bright red even after being wiped down and his face was more wrinkle than child” im not saying i based this on descriptions of me as an infant but. that is what i’m saying.

“if he’s red then why are they getting jaundice medicine” because i said so

the end of the fic sounds like this

thank u for coming on this journey with me, im a big gay who likes big gays.

this is the longest thing i’ve ever written. i keep saying that but. i straight up dropped out of college because writing things is hard. and while i’ve written a bunch bc i like to come up with stories and the like, i’ve only finished a handful of projects. this is one of them!!! so it’s gonna live in my soft gay heart for a while.