#where are my fellow dark fiction lovers

[animangalover-writes]

Maybe I just don't visit the saw fandom enough anymore but I feel like I don't see a lot of really fucked up dark fiction in the tags anymore,it's mostly just talking about everyone's favorite characters now(which I love too, don't get me wrong). I miss it :(

("It" being the shared sadistic glee we all would get when someone would post something REALLY fucked up happening to a character)

If anyone has any dark saw blog recs, lmk!

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1

There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

Previous book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*

Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers

Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.

Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*

Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.

The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon

In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.

The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart

January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.

A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares

Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.

Bridge by Lauren Beukes

When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers

Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.

The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin

1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.

Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*

Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley

This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.

Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden

While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi

Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.

Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.

The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Remnant by Kate Genet

One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?

The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*

Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.

Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:

Survival Instincts by May Dawney

Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?

These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs

When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hello amazing blogger! I've been drowning in WIPs and rl chaos lately, and really need to take care of myself for a bit.

Do you mind doing a Daemon blurb where he tries to make her feel better with slow, intimate sex at noticing she's depressed?

Thank you, have a lovely day 💐

Lies Are Treason

Daemon Targaryen x Reader

Summary: The fire that drew your husband to you in the first place is now dwindling, and that was a serious problem.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Opens with violence, fem!reader, wife!reader, soft!daemon T_T i love him, reader is not having a nice time, smut (reader kinda cries mid fucking and gets emotional, praise kink, bratty!reader, cock warming, cream pie), typos, etc.

A/N: hello my lover <3 i give you kiss. i am honored that you reached out to me during a time like this. i often wonder what value my fanfics hold in the grand scheme of the world other than silencing the loud romance ideas i have with fictional men i will never meet T_T, but then i think about how reading and writing fanfics makes me feel happy, and so i only hope my brain farts do something similar for someone else yeah may the imaginary dick imma give you suffice to alleviate a fraction of your heavy thoughts HAHAAHAH

Daemon knew.

He felt it in the way he woke up earlier than his lover, the way he had to slow his pace as not to leave her behind, how he had to chose what she would wear, and now, how he had to look for her, since he'd no idea where she gone.

There was something wrong. Something was bothering his wife and someone somewhere was going to pay for it.

In this moment, it was your handmaiden who was quivering in fear with Dark Sister between her eyes.

"My lord," she wept, "I- I-"

"You are her helper, are you not?" Daemon seethed, stepping closer to the poor, innocent servant girl who had fallen on her hind, terrified by her master's cold accusations, "your job is to keep my lady wife in your sight and attend to her every need."

"My prince," she shudders, raising her hands, "the princess is not kept by anyone-" tears streak her face, "-you know this."

Daemon hums deeply, moving stray hair away from the girl's face with his blade, "and yet the fact that you do not know her whereabouts enrages me still."

"My prince!" a separate panicked voice calls.

"What?!" Daemon quips, not prying his eyes on his target.

"The guards say they've seen the princess in the dragon pit."

Daemon turns away from the quivering girl, to the other that was fighting to save her fellow servant, "and you understand that lying to me is treason."

Dark Sister is upon the other's neck now.

Daemon moves closer to her, annoyance and boredom lacing his expression, "if I find your information false, not only will I return fucking fed up, but I will have the head of the guards who muttered the nonsense to you."

Daemon watches her squirm underneath his weapon.

He raises his brows, "well? The guards names?"

"Oswald and James, your grace," she shudders, cheeks stained with tears.

Daemon pulls his sword away and tuts, "you better not be wrong."

One could only imagine the collective relief across the castle after Daemon made it to the pit and saw who he had been searching for all along.

I hear a deep sigh and turn over my shoulder.

"You know I nearly killed your handmaiden a few moments ago."

My hand that was stroking Caraxes' face stills as I look off to my husband who was walking over, "what? Why?!"

"Well," he starts, only continuing once he was next to me, stroking Caraxes all the same. His dragon snorts hotly in greeting as Daemon continues, "my wife had gone missing."

I don't even roll my eyes at him as I look away and mutter, "overreacting, as always." I gently stroke the scales beneath my palm, "you will apologize with tears.'

I only turn to Daemon when he grabs my hand. His face is tense and his grip on me is firm, "at least I'm in character."

I knit my brows at him, tilting my head, "are you saying I am not?"

I turn from Caraxes and walk backwards until I can lean against the creature's large body. Daemon does not release my hand and follows me as I do so.

"I am bossing you around, clearly," I state.

"Yet there is no grit to it," he retorts.

Before I could respond to what my husband told me, Caraxes, who had been lying on the ground, begins to rumble softly. He lift his head, shaking it before craning his neck to look at his master.

The two stare at each other, wordlessly communicating, then the dragon pulls his head back down and grunts.

When Daemon turns back to me, he sighs, muttering something softly in High Valyrian.

I attempt to decipher the words, "Caraxes is not feeling good?"

"No," Daemon retorts, reaching his hand out to my cheek, "it is you who is not feeling good."

I stare at the man who inches nearer up until our chests are pressed together. Unable to bare his gaze, I turn away and nudge Caraxes with my elbow, "snitch."

Daemon sighs, leaning down as his hands snake around me. His face finds its spot at the crook of my neck, and by the curve of my shoulder, he presses a kiss. He rubs his cheek against mine as he whines, "you think I do not already know?"

I feel disarmed by his words, so much so I shift my weight and lean fully against him, pressing my face on his shoulders as my hands cling on his sides, "I hoped you would continue to ignore it."

"Nothing was ignored," he pulls me closer to him, propping his chin on the top of my head, "a ridiculous thought really," he tightens his arms around me, "why do you think I agreed to letting you drink until you could not walk the other night?"

I hum, tilting my head up so I could brush my lips on his neck, "I thought you just wanted your wife to relive her youthful alcoholism."

He draws shapeless patterns on my back, "I knew you needed a release."

"Release he said," I chuckle, "ironic when I took in so much wine that my belly swelled like I was pregnant."

He does not respond to this.

A moment of silence passes after.

Daemon begins to rub my back and I feel like I could fall asleep in his arms. I close my eyes and pull away from him however, hands instinctively finding their way to my husbands shoulders.

His hands are firmly gripping on my sides as I feel him lean down and press his forehead against mine.

I rub my thumbs on the fabric of his clothing and simply savor his presence.

"Speak to me," he whispers like a plea.

I raise my chin, eyes still closed. I grab his face and kiss him; warmth envelopes me the moment I do so. His hands force me closer and his lips are hungrier than mine. When I pull away, he chases me with one last peck and places another on my cheek.

"I do not know what to tell you, Daemon," I mumble, finally opening my eyes.

Daemon pulls back, looking down at me with concern, as if trying to will words out of his mouth.

"I just... fell unlike myself, and even Caraxes seemed desperate about it." I brush his silver locks behind his ear as I mutter, "I don't know. I am nearly as bad at this as you are."

His hands catch my cheeks. He caresses the area before he slides his palms all the way back down to my waist. He gently rocks me against him, averting his eyes in contemplation. He kneads on my flesh as he decides, "then let me do something that I am good at."

He turns back to me as I link my fingers behind his nape, "and what are you good at, husband?"

"Releasing into my pretty wife as she cries out my name," he sighs as he bends to kiss my neck.

I moan when he nibbles my skin, "Daemon."

He responds by muttering my name as he pulls away. His eyes locks on mine, as if searching for permission.

I place a hand on his cheek and brush my thumb on his lips, "take me back to our quarters."

Without another word, he grabs the hand on his cheek and drags me away.

The very moment we are in our chambers, he closes the door and grabs me, attacking me with kisses like a man starved.

Daemon pushes me backwards, fingers nimbly making its way down the laces on the back of my dress, up until my calves hit the bed.

Before he pushes me on the mattress, he pulls my dress down, dropping to his knees. He kisses my sternum on the way as he works on getting me out of my clothing. I bite my lip as I look down at him.

I lightly comb my fingers on his scalp as he bites my thighs while urging me out of my dress.

"Daemon."

He looks up at me.

I grab his cheeks, as he stands. Once he is towering over me again, I begin to undo his own clothing, pulling him out of his tunic and sinking down to free him of his trousers. He doesn't grant me the courtesy of biting his thighs as he pulls away, kicking his pants off and grabs me, pushing me back on the bed.

He allows me to crawl up on my elbows until my head is on the pillows. He doesn't waste time and gets on top me, positioning himself in between my legs.

He hums in appreciation of the heat against him. He praises me in High Valyrian and grabs my thighs as he rubs against me, "so pretty and warm.

I groan at the feel of him grinding on my sensitive nub. He slows as he sinks down on my shoulder, peppering kisses all over my skin. I wrap my legs around him as I dig my fingers into the roots of his hair.

He props his hands to the side and bucks his hips against me. I whine, pressing my lips on any part of his skin that I can reach.

"Daemon," I mutter against him, "you feel so good."

He sucks on my skin then bites down, making my stomach flutter. He connects our lips together and squeezes my sides, "I'll make you feel better, my love."

After saying this, Daemon sheathes his hard length that was wet with my slick. I roll my eyes back at the feel of him stretching me out.

He grunts, thrusting shallowly, but then stills as he sings me praises, "so nice and ready for me, sweet girl."

"Always ready for you," I mewl, licking his lower lip before grazing it between my teeth.

Daemon rubs my sides as he moans at the feeling of my bites.

He begins to move against me, but he barely pulls out, as if fearing the loss of me. I bring my hands to his hips and dig my nails in, "more, more, more."

He shushes me, then clicks his tongue, "so impatient."

"Break me, Daemon," I mutter, helplessly, moving my hips in sync with his, "please, I need you to fuck me."

He hisses when I rip at his skin. He pushes his face against mine, forcing my cheeks on the pillow, "behave, little one. I will not be bullied by someone who squirms at the very feel of my touch."

I whine again at both his words and the feel of his mouth on my jaw. I half expect a punishing thrust to be had. When he does not relent his excruciatingly slow pace, I begin to beg, "Daemon, please, please, please! I want to-"

His hands forcing my wrists to the sides shut me up with a gasp.

Daemon hovers his face above mine, and I nearly choke at the sight of him, "I told you to behave."

He rolls his hips into me, still so leisurely but so deliciously that I cannot contain my moan. Yet it's not enough. I want him to ruin me.

I whine out his name again, "Daemon please."

He sighs at the sounds I make and pushes himself up on his arms, "you know better than anyone that no one can change my mind once its made."

I chew on my lips as I look up at him. My desperate need of him makes my eyes begin to water. My hands dart up to his cheeks as I complain, "I can change your mind, my love. Please, please."

Daemon's dark eyes take in my wanton figure. He leans into my pulse and kisses it, "the world has broken you enough," he draws out a long breath when I clench around him desperately.

When he curses in High Valyrian and he sinks back down against my face, I mistake it as defeat. I seal him against me tightly and nip at his neck. I find myself ceasing my nibbling when I hear him whisper against my ear, "just let me love you tonight, my dear. Let me show you how much you mean to me."

Daemon then, although still brutally slow, begins to thrust more thoroughly, pulling out farther and plunging deeper. The sensation has me reeling and my stomach begins to tense.

"My pretty wife," Daemon groans, rutting against me, "so lovely, so soft, and all mine."

My nails find his skin again, scratching all the way to the center of his back.

He moans sucking at my neck as he continues his ministrations.

"I would burn the whole world if that's what it took to mend your heart."

I moan his name in response, voice not ceasing as it draws out pleasured noises. I look to him, trying to find his face, but he's too lost in his movements and too snug against me.

I screw my eyes shut when he finally begins to quicken.

I squeal before I speak, "yes, Daemon," I grunt, "so good- like that- more."

He pants, hand coming up to my neck, "I would do anything for you," he kisses my jaw, "you know this, right?"

I whine as I nod, "yes, Daemon, yes, yes, yes, yes-"

"So, let me do this. Let me take care of you," he mutters, "do not withdraw from me again."

When I open my eyes and catch his gaze, my throat goes dry and my eyes begin to spill with water. I groan out his name in a manner I am so not sure of.

He kisses the tears that begin to fall down my face and snaps his hips quicker, "take solace in me the way I do you."

My voice is too preoccupied with whines that I do not get to reply.

The bed begins to squeak and knock on the wall at his ferosity.

Daemon seals my whimpers against his lips as pressure begins to build within me. My lashes, dampened with tears, begin to flutter at the feel of my husband. At the rate he was going, my release was swift and inevitable. He drags his lips up to my forehead, kissing my nose and eyelids tenderly as he does, juxtaposing the roughness of his severity in my core.

I come around him all at once, growling his name in pleasure, tensing tightly then turning into putty.

Daemon mutters my name as well, over and over, until I feel his hotness spread inside me. I nearly choke on my spit at the feel of his unrelenting snapping even after the fact.

Just when I think he will not stop, he begins to grow sloppy. I sigh as he eventually halts. By then, I am plainly aware of the feel of his seed overflowing, though he is still snug within me.

Although I am utterly boneless beneath him, I manage to tighten my limbs around frame, absolutely unwilling to free him from where he was. The last of his movement fade and I fell utterly spent of his love.

Daemon presses a kiss on my cheek, hands coming to my sides, "I am here, my love. I will not leave."

Without warning, my lips begin to quiver.

I am suddenly overcome with emotion. I begin to feel my throat and chest tighten as sadness creeps out of me, finally seeing its chance.

I force myself not to cry, but I am powerless when Daemon begins to hush me, "sweet girl, it'll be alright." I am broken by the time he repeats, "I am here."

I bring my hands to his shoulder blades and knead at the area, "I need you, Daemon. I can't be without you, ever. I love you so much."

He kisses me as he nods, "I know. I would go mad without you by my side," he kisses me again, drawing out a long breath before continuing, "I love you like I have not known love before."

He allows me to empty my sorrows against him, comforted by his mere presence in the silence.

Sobs beginning to die down, I turn to him and bring my palms to his cheeks. He lifts his head to look down upon me and brushes his nose against mine.

I repeat, as if I hadn't made myself clear, "I love you."

"I love you," he repeats not a second too late, then kisses my lips, "I love you so fucking much."

I nod rapidly, kissing every inch of his face, "thank you for this, my love," I sigh and readjust my legs around him, "I did not know I needed it."

The vibrations of his laughter cause me to whimper. He places a kiss on the top of my head, "spoiled brats hardly ever do."

"I'm not spoiled," I furrow my brows and pout, "you're the one who grew up..." I moan, "a prince."

His minute hip movements tease out another sound out of me.

I whine in protest, "Daemon, please, I can't."

He clicks his tongue, "see? Pretty girls like you should take what they are given graciously without complaints," he brushes his nose against me, "especially when it is a generous gift from her prince."

I release a sigh once he ends his torture.

"Still," Daemon smirks, "I could not bare to make my wife cry even more."

"You can make me cry, if you want," I mumble as I kiss his shoulder, "just let me stay like this for a while," I rub his back, "I like it when I'm full of you."

Daemon relaxes on top of me and I relish the weight of him.

"I like it when you're full of me too."

[irisbleufic]

Of all the current Devil’s Minion writers your playlist is the one I want to see. Do you have one? If not, are there particular songs you’ve been listening into to while you write? The vibe of your prose with them is hypnotizing like the short story about them in the books, it’s impressive, and does your music also inform this choice if at all?

Intense question, anon. Fourteen-year-old me fucking hyperventilated after reading the DM chapter in Queen of the Damned (me, on the floor of my bedroom at 3am because I don’t want to get caught reading this book, staring dazed at the ceiling; me, now, three weeks ago, sitting shellshocked on the sofa after watching S1 and S2 over two days as a binge; me, over two of those weeks following the binge, rereading the first half of the Chronicles and starting to see double, tilt the prism, see what happens when the narratives are overlaid and blurred), and it still feels like that. Likely my prose turning out the way it is in these stories is about 90% my giddy teenage self having access to my adult self’s writing experience to finally write this beloved pairing without fear of litigious letters (IYKYK, my fellow elder Millennials in the fandom). I don’t often love film and TV adaptations of my favorite books, but I adore this show. It’s flawlessly transformative; its improvements only make the resonances and overlaps that much more meaningful. No notes.

However, I have been listening to the same small handful of songs on repeat for 6 days as I write these pieces. I imagine they are affecting my sense of scansion at points; my writing life didn’t begin with fiction, it began with years of poetry before I ever tried prose. These tracks are as meaningful to me as poems as they are songs. It’s as good a starting point for a playlist as any; I’ll keep adding and put it together on Spotify at some point.

1. Vesuvius - Sufjan Stevens

Vesuvius, I am here

You are all I have

Fire of fire, I'm insecure

for it is all been made to plan

Though I know I will fail

I cannot be made to laugh

for in life as in death

I'd rather be burned

than be living in debt

This song was my entire first 72 hours of writing. I’m that Autistic weirdo who will listen to a single song on repeat for a month and think nothing of it. Villa of the Mysteries in Pompeii being the nexus point of their love story from beginning to end in QotD, this is everything to me; I was never going to be able to write about the show incarnation of them without integrating this location and this imagery in the most reverent love letter I know how. This is why my series title for these stories is Caldera. Volcanic crater blowout if ever I saw one; I ran with it.

2. I Forget Where We Were - Ben Howard

Hello love, my invincible friend; hello, love, the thistle and the burr. For you, I have so many words—and I, I forget where we were. I haven’t known this song for all that long in the grand scheme, but it found me via Spotify shuffle in 2022 right after something awful happened. The longing in this song hinges on one of the lovers in it waking up to something they’ve forgotten about their relationship, something precious, and I’m thrilled to finally have a fandom application for it.

3. Make You Better - The Decemberists

I sung you your twinges

I suffered you your tattle-tales

and when you broke sideways

I wanted you, I needed you, oh

to make me better

Oh, to make me better

But we're not so starry-eyed anymore

like the perfect paramour you were in your letters

And won't it all just come around to make you

let it all un-break you to the day that you met her

No excuse for this one; it does a great job of speaking for itself. Front-man Colin Meloy is one of my all-time favorite songwriters, and his work is frequently dark, creepy, and/or gothic enough in flavor that I could find a few more.

4. Song to the Siren - Elisabeth Fraser & This Mortal Coil

On the floating shipless oceans

I did all my best to smile

till your singing eyes and fingers

drew me loving to your isle

and you sang, “Sail to me,

sail to me, let me enfold you—

here I am, here I am,

waiting to hold you.”

This cover of Tim Buckley’s folk masterpiece completely transforms the vibe of the song, and in the kind of way you need for this pairing. This one is at responsible for the events and imagery in my “Still Life with Sunken Treasure.”

5. Hal - Yasmine Hamdan, Only Lovers Left Alive OST

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اطلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي شرّفي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وطلعت يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اتريحي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتلحلحي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وسمعت يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اتفرفشي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي قربي

لأ ما أقدرشي

فرشنا يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اقلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتجرأي

لأ مش ممكن

شلحنا يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اتغندريله

يا حبيبتي اتذوقيله

افهمي يا سيدي مش قادرة

وطبعا تقنعني مش واخدة

ايه يا عزيزة؟

ايه اللي إنتي عملاه ده؟

يا يا يا راجل يا هوه!

مش عيب عليك اختشي ونو

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اخلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتشخلعي

لأ مش ممكن

يا خيبتي يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اتبغددي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي جربي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وجينا يا ناس، غلبنا يا ناس

جينا يا ناس، غلبنا يا ناس

I don’t think the Arabic justified to the correct side when I copied this, but the translation is very easy to find. I don’t speak Arabic, but honestly the English translation is dull compared to the beauty of this language. If you haven’t watched Only Lovers Left Alive, what the hell are you even doing with your vampire-loving, monster-fucking life? All the tracks on it have the right vibe for DM, really.

[benkyoutobentou]

12 Books for 2024 (Japanese Edition)

You may have seen my post about the twelve books I read in 2023 (here), and I thought it would be fun to follow it up with a little tbr for 2024! Ideally, I'd like to read more than twelve books in 2024, but twelve is enough for now since I've got some series on this list that I'd like to either make some serious progress in or finish up completely. This list is in no particular order!

地球星人 - 村田沙耶香: I read コンビニ人間 by Murata a few years back and loved it, and this one has been high up on my tbr for a long time now. With how many people say they're completely traumatized by it, it sounds like the perfect book for me. The only reason I haven't read this yet is because I've hyped it up so much for myself.

生命式 - 村田沙耶香: A short story collection by Murata? Sign me up ten times over. This one sounds weird and gruesome and right up my alley.

本を守ろうとする猫の話 - 夏川草介: Another cat book, who can blame me? This was also touted as being perfect for book lovers, and I haven't heard a bad review yet.

吾輩は猫である - 夏目漱石: Keeping with the cat theme, this one I actually have planned in tandem with a challenge I have to read twelve big ass classics throughout the year. Between the sheer size of this and the fact that the text is so densely packed in, this book kinda scares me. I'm planning to read it in December of next year so that I have as much time as possible to prepare haha.

世界から猫が消えたなら - 川村元気: Last cat book, I promise, but I had to keep them all together (it's actually not about cats, though). I've had this one for a long time and just picked it up on a whim. I've heard a bit of mixed reviews, but the premise sounds interesting enough, and it seems to be pretty popular.

博士の愛した数式 - 小川洋子: This was one of the first books I bought in Japanese, so it's high time that I get it off my tbr. I've seen so many people love this, in and out of the language learning community. This author also has a bunch of other popular works, so I'd really like to jump into her books and experience the hype for myself.

告白 ‐ 湊かなえ: I've seen a bit of buzz about this book in the language learning community, but what really convinced me on it was seeing people outside of language learners also enjoying it. It sounds dark and mildly depressing, and I'm hoping that it'll have some interesting commentary as well.

独り舞 - 李琴峰: Somehow, I haven't read any queer literary fiction in Japanese yet, despite it being my favorite genre, so I'm so excited to jump into this one. For the life of me I can't remember where I heard about this, but I think it'll be one of my first reads in 2024.

デゥラララ！！- 成田良悟: I used to be obsessed with the anime adaptation in middle school but never revisited the series out of fear that it wouldn't stand the test of time. After seeing a fellow language learner gush about the series, I decided to give it a shot, managed to find it at a local used bookstore, and snatched up the first volume. Don't let me down, nostalgia!

憎らしい彼 - 凪良ゆう: This is the second book in the 美しい彼 series, and even though I'd like to read the third one next year as well, I'm just combining them. Seeing this series next to series like No. 6 and キノの旅 I'm really grateful to have a trilogy on my tbr haha.

No. 6 - あさのあつこ: Saying that I would like to finish this series next year is a bit of a stretch, seeing as I have eight of ten volumes left, but I'd like to put a serious dent in it to be sure.

キノの旅 - 時雨沢恵一: This series is more of a read as I please type series for me, since there's not really any overarching plot. I'm also not racing to make progress, since there are over twenty volumes (and still going). I'm savoring this series and I'm okay with that.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Writeblr Questionnaire

Thanks @illarian-rambling here, @paeliae-occasionally here, @willtheweaver here, @honeybewrites here, @urnumber1star here,

And @leahnardo-da-veggie here!

About You:

When did you start writing?

Genuinely I'm not sure, but I do have physical evidence that it's been a while. The first story I wrote was called "In the Dark." I was at the age where I drew several pictures with one color of marker with stick figures and my mom wrote the words for me. I'd say preschool-aged. I think I was three.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I am a person with a huge bias toward fantasy in the things I write and consume. However, I'm not picky with genres, it just happens to be a pattern. I really do love plenty of realistic fiction books. It just so happens that I have exactly one realistic fiction story in my WIP ideas. One. And even then, it needed a gimmick to be interesting for me to write. I have no interest in writing realistic fiction other than that. But I really do love plenty of realistic fiction books!

I want to write a mystery one day, but it'll have to be a fantasy mystery. I do love plenty of realistic fiction mystery books and shows and stuff. I could never write historical fiction, although that isn't a frequented genre to begin with.

Theme-wise, I couldn't say. I don't really care.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

Nope. I think people will make their own comparisons, but there's no one in particular I am trying to emulate. I'm just me.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

Sometimes I just write on the couch or at a random place at school, but I've been going to my desk a lot more. It's just in my room, I'm on a swivel chair, and my laptop is on top of it. Nothing special.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Read my old writing or my notes! I see stuff I forgot about or I get ideas from the details. Occasionally I'll check out a video or something if I'm truly stuck.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Uh, yes. Why do you think I set the "real world" in a middle-class intermediate school in the greater Houston area on a six-lane FM road with a Sonic, Walgreens, and apartment complex nearby? It's a lot easier to describe things that way. Everywhere else I have to make up a floor plan for interiors and use Google Maps for the surrounding scenery.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

A lot of queer and neurodivergent people. No, that does not surprise me. It me. It accident.

Friends-to-lovers is my most common romantic relationship, but there's also a lot of platonic and queerplatonic relationships.

Interpersonal relationships in general are huge themes of mine and appear in almost everything I write.

Since I write YA, there's a lot of coming of age.

None surprise me.

Your Characters:

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Oof that's hard. For TSP... I love talking about Carmen. She's such an asshole, but she's super interesting. I want to put her under a microscope and study her. She's a character I'm constantly thinking about. I like seeing why she does the things she does. She's developed into a character I originally didn't think much about, and now I can't stop! She's also funny. She doesn't mean to be, but she's so high-strung and angry that she is fun to write for.

For SOTL, it's Tierney. I have one chapter with him, but that doesn't matter. He's amazing and I love talking about him. He's a mess. He's a nerd. He's awkward. I love him.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Well, the characters closest to my age are Liam and George, and I think I'd be friends with them! Liam may occasionally get on my nerves in the debate side of him, but I think I'd get used to it, especially because his part of the grilled cheese debate is based on someone I actually know and am friends with.

I'm not sure about being friends with the kids, but I do hang out with plenty due to being an educator, and I remember how I was at that age. Out of everyone, Robbie and Akash feel like they'd perfectly fit into my friend group, which may be why I love writing them so much. Individually I think Gwen is the one I'd be most likely to get along with.

I haven't written enough of SOTL, but I'd get along with Jill. Also Ritchie and their group of friends.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Carmen, I'm so sorry, I would not like you. Gabriel also can get rude and boring. Noelle constantly mentioning her mom would get on my nerves, if I'm being honest. I feel like I could only take Parker in small doses, even if I really like Wade.

I'm not far enough in SOTL to make a decision except for the purposefully antagonistic characters.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

Well, TSP it really depends. Here are all the characters I think are worth mentioning for the entire series.

Originally based on someone I knew before developing a completely different personality: Lexi, Maddie, Ash, Gwen, Noelle, Rose, Kelsey, Carla, George, Hye-Jin, Atsila

They started out as someone completely different in previous drafts and then in the process of developing them I got attached: Jedi, Carmen

I created them for Draft Four as a love interests and then I got attached: Robbie, Akash

I created them in Draft Four to fill up the background: Liam, Ewan, Jazlyn, Wade, Parker, Tyler, Niri, Gabriel, Sam

I needed a name for a prominent figure and then I kept using it and they became important: Raissa

I needed characters for the AU didn't I?: Alex, Issa, CJ, Wendy

Background characters I had no intention of making important: Teo, Xitlali, Anathi

For SOTL, it's simple. Get a character from a fairy tale, nursery rhyme, fable, legend, other public domain work, etc and make them my own!

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Most of them are queer and neurodivergent. Most are in the 11-25 range given the demographic I write in.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

I want TSP and SOTL to both be in hand-drawn animation, so I imagine them like that. Western animation with anime inspiration like ATLA, Teen Titans, etc is what I typically imagine it in.

Your Writing:

What’s your reason for writing?

I love it!! And also I'd go insane. It's also why I write reviews and analyses of stuff. I've stayed up until 2 am before thinking thoughts on TV shows and I legit can't sleep until I've written an essay.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

I've gotten "oh I like this little detail" or "wow good dialogue" or "realistic friendship!!" And that always makes me happy.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I just want people to like my characters, is that too much to ask?

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I really like character building and details around their lives. I think I'm good at writing consistent characters because I've put so much work behind them.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Dialogue! So many people comment on the realism of my dialogue, and I really like that!

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

If it's at 1 am I think it's awful. When I read my old writing I cringe. Sometimes if I'm in a bad mood my self esteem plummets. But overall, when I look back, I see how far I've come. When I make a revision, even a small one, I smile because I know my writing is getting better. I just get excited about improvement!

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes because it helps me sleep. Were you not paying attention lol

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

No. I write for ME.

Tagging @mk-writes-stuff @elsie-writes @eccaiia @mysticstarlightduck @chauceryfairytales

+ ANYONE ELSE

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

SOTL intro

SOTL tag list (ask to be +/-): @illarian-rambling @katwritesshit @wyked-ao3

Under the cut are the blank questions put together for easy copy/paste

About You: When did you start writing? Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write? Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared? Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.) What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse? Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about? Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all? Your Characters: Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.) Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life? Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them? Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters. Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters? How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.) Your Writing: What’s your reason for writing? Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers? How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.) What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others? How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.) If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write? When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

[i-am-true-believer]

Hello sweet readers, my fellow fanfiction lovers. My late night scrollers, my mid day day dreamers, my sunrise few. I have a little hypothetical for you, so please bare with me, I promise theres a point to this. Imagine Tumblr is a very large building with many, many rooms. And when you walk in theres doors and hallways and different wings and branches. Rooms for different fanfictions, different tropes, different worlds, characters, universes. And there are some doors that are perfectly well kept. They look like they have never been touched. You can tell theres things there but those arent your rooms, not your doors. And there are others where the carpets are wearing in the front of them from a well trodden path. Where you can see that they're well-loved and well kept and behind those doors, are your comfort characters, waiting for you.

They wait for you there. They're so excited when they hear the front door open. They just know you're coming to them. They want to see how they'll fall in love. Or how you'll fall in love or how you'll meet again. They want to know the adventures you're going to have, the stories you're going to tell. They'll ask how your day was, what your fears are. They are ready and waiting for you. That's how I see Tumblr. I see the other readers and writers as fellow travelers in and out of doors. We pass each other, and we smile and wave. We may make a comment or two, but it's safe. Here it is the safest place we could be in. I don't know if everybody else uses Tumblr this way, but I feel like there's a lot of us. We come here looking for safety and comfort, acceptance and love, and things that we can't get from everyday life. So I just want you to know that every time you open those doors, your comfort character wakes up and is ready for you. They're waiting for you, and no matter what is going on in everyday life, they love you, and you are not alone.

You are worthy, you are important, you matter, and you are loved. If not by people in your everyday life, then by your comfort characters and by me. I adore you and I hope that you will do everything possible to stay. It's not a bad life, it's just a bad time right now. Things will get better. And no, it doesn't seem that way right now, but I was there. I was in that dark place and comfort characters were one of the only things that helped me, that kept me going. Please don't give up, we need you here. Your favorite author would realize when you stop reading or when you stop commenting, your readers would miss your writing.

I feel a need to keep doing these posts because i have a hope that each one helps at least one person and thats enough for me.

So I want you to take a deep breath, breathe in and out. Relax your shoulders, remove your tongue from where it's pressed to the roof of your mouth. Take a drink of water, and continue your scrolling.

You are important here. The world would be so much darker without you and I hope tomorrow is better than today. I hope you find the fan fiction you need. Whether it is enemies to lovers, found family, The one bed trope, A/B/O, whatever it is, I hope it helps. I hope you have a place to escape to and I hope you know you are safe here. If you need a friend, i am more than willing to be that friend I will listen. Tell me about your favorite fan fictions. Tell me about life, tell me about your family, tell me about anything you need. Enjoy your scrolling, dear one. I hope tonight or this morning or whenever youre reading this is better than yesterday. I hope this makes life a little easier. You matter. You are important You are loved.

Your comfort character believes in you and so do I, we will always believe in you, and I will always be a safe plan to land. From the very, very happy girl on tumblr who was once a very, very sad girl who thought the world Was a little too dark and a little too scary. Who almost gave up and who's so glad she didn't.

❤️💛True Believer ❤️💛

[crystalaris]

This was massively inspired by @novanitee

I have to say I loved a lot of your Yandere Moonknight stories and couldn’t help but wonder how a Yandere would react to someone who doesn’t want to leave and one who’s happy to stay. So if I’m being honest this was more for me, but I loved how it turned out. I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved your stories

Leaving Isn't an Option

Yandere Moonknight x OC

It's not so bad, being stuck here.

And 'stuck' is the right word.

I'm not really trapped, per say, just... encouraged to stay put.

Which is easy, it's not like I did anything else before. Go to work, pay the bills, cook, repeat.

Life was monotonous and very, very lonely.

I'm not sure when, where or even how I ended up in the world of Moon Knight. Or even the Marvel Universe. I didn't really get out much, didn't really have a reason to.

Just a boring and lonely existence.

Maybe it was wishing something would happen.

Maybe it was staring at the moon and quoting, "Second Star to the right and Straight on till Morning." Never really knowing if the star was my right or the moon's right because it's never been specified.

But something happened.

Something shifted.

I was no longer there, but here.

Which I understand makes absolutely no sense, but it happened without my knowledge and my days went on like normal.

I've never watched the news, it always felt misleading.

Never bothered with facebook, FarmVille had long since become boarding and redundant. Who waits 4 hours of real life time for one patch of strawberries to grow?

I wasnt going to spend five dollars on speed enhancers.

Never really called my parents, they finally got the kids out of their house? Why would they want to see me?

I've only ever talked to my fellow fan fiction writers and readers on Discord, but we all were focused on our mutual love for Undertale. So not really friend friends, but also not not friends.

Weird, believe me I know.

So absolutely no real reason to leave except for food and the extremely rare occasion for eating out.

I had no real reason to even suspect being on someone's radar.

I had never been and forever assumed I would never be.

Friends and acquaintances? Easy.

Family? Yeah, well you either have them or you don't.

Lovers? What's that? Can you eat it? ...Ew, on second thought don't answer that. Please.

So really, my life wasn't't anything special.

Or shouldn't have been anything special.

My life changed when I had decided I didn't want to cook that day. So I went to a Burger King next to a Starbucks. Simple.

Fill up on the fries and drink, have a burger for breakfast, all for a debatable price of 10 dollars.

Again nothing special.

A sit-down would be expensive and would remind me just how alone I was.

I guess I was pretty predictable, always going to the same places to eat or shop, but I never really noticed.

Never really cared.

Not until he, well I should really say 'they' , pointed it out. And they never pointed it out until they made sure I could never leave, which again I don't really mind.

I met them, him when I walked out the door accidentally spilling iced coke all over the poor guy.

Apologizing profusely, I had offered to buy him lunch as an apology, its not like I could buy the guy a new shirt.

I'm somewhat surprised I didn't recognize him to begin with, sure he looked familiar and his name was Steven, but what really should have sold it was the fact that Steven with a 'V' was Vegan.

Though I was more surprised that Burger King had vegan options, the impossible burger? Really?

I guess its in the name. Still, shocking, both the burger and my own stupidity.

But I liked him.

He was nice, well muscled, dark hair (that was my weakness, those cheating bastards) and polite.

Honestly, what wasn't there to love? We talked. A lot.

I was pretty thrilled when he shyly asked for my number. I thought 'Why not? It'd be nice to have a friend again.' And we traded phones, I never noticed him activate the tracking part of the phone.

I probably shouldn't have been so lazy and trusting (Jake has lectured me a lot on that, really that sweet worry wart) handing Steven my phone, in my defense I've never had to worry about that.

Steven once told me he finally understood why Marc and Jake had wanted to protect his innocence once they had met me.

Others probably would have been offended, me? I was honored and kissed him.

It was... nice, having someone to talk to, someone to text.

Someone I could just be me.

Steven would send these really cute or funny history bits, mostly Egyptian, sometimes complaining that gods can be annoyingly demanding.

Again, I should have noticed, but really would you notice? Or even care too? We all complain about god.

Looking back, I feel like my past self was one of those side characters on Doctor Who that never noticed aliens or the blue police box.

To be fair, its easier to notice things when they don't happen to you. Still makes me feel stupid though.

I never really found it odd that we kept meeting up when ever I was out shopping, passing it off as coincidence time and time again.

Sure there were times I felt someone watching, but every time there was no one following me.

Sure there was a feeling or two that made me glance over my shoulder a few times just to check, but then Steven would show up and it would stop.

Which was extremely relieving, having Steven by my side. After a while it turned stressful without Steven there to shop with. I tried not to, but calling him and asking if he'd like to shop together made the day that much better, that much less lonely.

It was on one such day, after feeling a piercing stare and finding nothing, that I ended up laying my head on his shoulder with a sigh of relief.

Of course I removed it with a shit load of apologies. But to my utter amazement, after he got over his shock, he just smiled and gently placed my head back on his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" I asked, again still a bit worried.

His smile was so gentle, so sweet, so warm, "Of course, luv." And placed his arm around my shoulder. Heaven could never have such forbidden fruit.

I, gladly, soaked up as much as I could.

Steven could be the nectar of the gods with his sweetness, he laughed quite happily when I told him that once, well it was a mumble, but still... true.

We didn't just shop together, I rather enjoyed inviting him over so he could teach me some vegan recipes.

Being with Steven made life, easier.

It was easier to breathe, to enjoy breathing again. I wasn't just moving through the motions of life, I was Living again.

I could actually look forward to tomorrow.

And when tomorrow came, Steven asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend.

I was flummoxed.

Me? Steven wanted me?

I didn't know it but Jake was rather close to fronting and yelling at me for daring to hurt sweet Steven, when I hadn't answered soon enough.

Tears had slowly fallen from my eyes and Steven nearly went into a panic seemingly about to apologize when I softly asked, "Me? Are you sure?"

It was the first time anyone had ever asked. Had ever looked at me.

His smile could have melted gold, easily shattering my shields, ones I never knew had surrounding my heart.

It burned, but somehow in a good way, still it was too much and I looked away.

He had to cup my cheeks in his hands, getting me to look at him. His thumb wiping away a stray tear, "I would love that, luv. Would you be willing to be mine?"

Choking back a sob, "No one... no one ever... ever... no one's ever wanted me."

I couldn't help leaning into his gentle touch, missing the frown that formed, but he quickly wiped it away from their face, "Not like that anyway. I've...I've had a few crushes, but nothing ever..."

I couldn't help looking into his eyes, practically begging for this to not be a dream, searching for even a hint of a lie.

I searched his face, soft and gentle, "Are...are you sure you want me?"

"Oh, baby girl of course we want you."

I wailed clutching him tighter as he leaned me on to his shoulder, as he shushed me rocking me back and forth, " I've got you, baby girl. Shhhh. We've got you. Shhh" years of pain, anguish, want flowed into those tears. "Let it out, mi amor. Let it all go."

I didn't leave his arms that night, or even that weekend. We refused to let go of each other. Sometimes the grips were tighter, or stronger but all it felt like was safety and home. I didn't want them to let go.

I was wanted.

I was happy for the first time in forever.

It nearly tore me apart watching them walk away, but I did have work in the morning.

Work had never been such a drag until then.

It physically hurt to be away from Steven, so I did the one thing I could think of. I went to the hardware store after work.

As much as it hurt not to ask Steven to come I wanted it to be a surprise, but like always I felt those eyes boring into me. It made me want to call Steven, but... but picturing his, hopefully, happy face? I could deal with the discomfort.

The feeling didn't stop, at least I think it didn't, I'm not sure when it did but the older clerk behind the counter had smiled when she saw my fidgeting, "Ah, someone special?"

I could only blush violently and nod my head nervously. Her smile widened, "What a lucky man." She reached behind the counter, and started running the machine.

"Well, ...he's my, my first... so..." my nerves were eating me alive, but it'd be worth it.

"Really?" She looked surprised as the lady looked me up and down, "When I'm glad. You seem like a sweet young lady." The clerk chittered on.

It was nearly ten minutes of constant chattering as the clerk milked me for information.

I didn't really want to brag, didn't want to jinx it, but it felt good to share.

It felt good to smile.

The clerk watched on with a warm smile of encouragement as I called my boyfriend, biting my bottom lip as she handed it over and I placed the small box into my pocket.

-click-

" 'Ello?"

Swallowing nervously, "Steven?'

"Luv?" He sounded a bit worried.

"Yeah, ah hi. I was wondering..." I couldn't stop tapping my fingers on my leg just to use some of my extra energy. Steven, sweet, sweet Steven just patiently hummed, "if you wouldn't mind coming over? Please."

Not even noticing the man walking away on the phone two isles down.

"Sure I wouldn't mind luv."

"Great" I squeaked before quickly repeating it in a more normal voice, " See you in a few"

"See you in a few, luv."

-click-

Letting out a large breath, I turned and thanked the clerk as I handed over the money with a smile on my face, "Thank you."

"No thank you for making this old lady's day. I wish you luck."

I couldn't hold back my chuckle, "And I wish you a good week of good customers."

That made her laugh as she handed me change, "Ah, I see, another fellow retailer?"

"Yeah, first few years of college were horrible."

"Say no more." She said with a smile on her face.

I returned it, "Again, thank you."

"It's no trouble, now go on, shoo!" She waved her hands, "you've got a boy to gift. Shoo!"

I laughed on my way out, feeling happy and hopeful.

A great day indeed.

It turned into an even better day when Steven opened the box to reveal my new extra house key.

I didn't see the kiss coming, "It's absolutely beautiful, baby girl."

Completely shocked, missing how his accent had dropped as I touched my lips a deep blush forming. "What? Baby girl, what is it?"

Looking up, I blushed deeper catching a glance of his lips before staring into those deep eyes, they were the same, yet they somehow held more.

"That- that was my first..." I squeaked.

"Oh, oh!" I never noticed as he held me closer, leading me into a hug as Steven glared daggers at the reflection.

(Jake was so proud, both at Marc's kiss and Stevens glare. His boys were growing a backbone!).

"I'm so sorry, luv!"

I couldn't help hugging him back, squeezing a bit before asking, "Could, could we... again?"

This made him smile as he leaned back and looked into my eyes with his warm, ice melting ones, "Sure."

The second one was warm and comforting, the third became ruff and deep and I couldn't help loving all of them, I felt wanted, I felt loved again.

This man was slowly becoming my entire world.

And everyday he would come over after work.

Everyday he would kiss me at least three times, each with there own flare, each with their own intensity and still I greedily accepted each and every one.

— — —

They, well Steven had been dating her for months, with Jake and Marc coming out on occasion. She never seemed to notice or if she did she brushed it off.

They loved her, they really did, but sometimes he wished she would notice. Wish she'd ask questions, it'd make it much easier to come clean.

Though Marc seemed to enjoy the lack of in his words, 'unnecessary' questions. Jake bemoaned the fact that she was so oblivious.

This may have started with an order from Khonshu, but it had become an obsession over time.

Layla was a strong woman and Marc had loved her in his own way. Marc's ex was strong alone, could easily, has easily fought confidently, side by side with Marc and Steven, but she and Jake clashed, each just as bull headed as the other, making a relationship a bit difficult with the three.

Plus Jake wasn't happy when Layla had smacked Marc across the face.

Marc had defended her saying he deserved it since he left, but Jake refused to let Layla be alone with Marc or Steven.

Deserved or not, if she did it once she would do it again and Jake refused to leave his boys defenseless.

He knew Marc and Steven wouldn't fight against Layla, Jake however...

So the three were just friends, while Jake only tolerates Layla for his boy's happiness. Sure they were sad at the end of the relationship, but Jake knew they deserved better. It's why he stayed as Khonshu's Avatar (and boy was that a shit show when he had dropped the beans, they forgave him and moved on. He really does love them.)

So when an order came to watch someone who doesn't belong in this world, all three went, each curious in their own way.

They would admit the woman was... ... ...boring?

Normal?

Well, she didn't seem like she was any different, but hey Harrow fell off the deep end why can't she?

So they watched and watched, it was an order, an easy order but an order none the less until Khonshu deemed her to be just another pathetic worm that no longer needed their attention.

They... didn't really stop.

They had noticed her schedule, had memorized it to the point they ended up following it subconsciously.

If anyone was to blame it was entirely the god's fault.

Steven thought she was sweet.

Marc noticed how lonely she felt.

Jake saw.

Saw how she was withering away, how she practically begged for protection.

Jake really liked how she seemed to sense them, liked how she trusted her instincts, weak as they were she still had them.

She was a walking contradiction in some ways.

She kept her head down and avoided people, avoided being seen, but they saw her.

They watched her.

They noticed how she seemed to hide and it flared all of their protective instincts.

Originally it was a way to pass time.

They didn't really need to work for money anymore, they had plenty and Khonshu had them take certain jobs, and if Jake could get some money out of it, then all the better.

Steven never really liked the 'blood' money, but Jake and Marc refuse to let Steven get stuck in retail or with another piece of trash boss again.

(Donna is still lucky to be alive, the two are still waiting for the perfect time. Its not murder if something just 'happens' right?)

But Steven didn't mind watching her, so they compromised.

Watching her for the day, and working with Khonshu at night (they slept when she went to work, no biggie).

At first it wasn't hard to leave for Khonshu's 'trips', but it became harder as time passed on.

Soon returning ended up as their priority and Khonshu could careless so long as the job was done.

Since Marc and Steven wanted the job done just as much to get back, Khonshu didn't really have any complaints, "Apparently even a worm has its uses."

He was dutifully ignored.

They wanted to get to know her, to be apart of her life.

And if she broke their heart? Well, Jake would take care of it.

All three had found something in her that they enjoyed.

For Steven, she was sweet (Hah! Told you guys so!) and so welcoming. She enjoyed listening to him and both genuinely enjoyed the documentaries that Marc and Jake became bored to death with. Even making a game of it at one point when she started explaining why one documentary was wrong, elaborating each point and encouraged him to do the same.

Marc, well Marc loved all the cuddles and how she showed that she cared (for Steven) making food and learning recipies together, always finding a way to touch. And just leaning on them in general.

It helped that she never pried or asked for more information. If she did and he said 'no' she dropped it unlike Layla, and would always remind him she was there if he wanted.

It was refreshing if Marc was being honest.

Jake rather enjoyed how she depended on him (them). She would tense up when they watched her from afar, like he said she had instincts.

He really liked when she started calling them every time she even felt remotely scared. Jake loved how she would lean on them for comfort and melt into their embrace after that first time.

It felt good to be needed in subtle ways.

She would ask for their opinions, but would also ask why instead of just obeying. He liked the little arguments, they were fun and unlike with Layla she didn't get violent when angry, just puffed out her tiny little cheeks, ardilla listada (chipmunk) he had called her and she responded with Qué?

"¿Asi que hablas espanol?"

"en inglés por favor"

He barked out a laugh and he loved the way her eyes sparked as she nailed the accent, all three were rather impressed.

"No."

"Sí"

"No"

"Sí!"

Jake, over all, enjoyed her spunk.

He did however nearly lose it when Steven asked her to be their girlfriend and she didn't respond, she nearly broke their hearts, but then it broke for another reason entirely.

She cried because nobody had wanted her.

And, well, that just sealed the deal, she wouldn't leave them, ever.

They'd never allow it.

If only they could get her home, right now.

...but even a starving predator is patient. So they settle for just holding her tightly in their arms, each taking their own turn, but refusing to let go.

Leaving was one of the hardest and yet the most satisfying things they have ever felt.

And Damn, it hurt to leave, but the way she refused to let them out of her sight, the way they could feel her eyes on them?

They had never walked so slow before, never looked back to her window so much. It was amazing to know she didn't want them to leave as much as they didn't want to leave.

So imagine their rage when she was late returning home from work.

Oh, they wouldn't have been worried (they were) since they followed her phone to the hardware store.

If she was mugged it'd be the last thing the asshole would ever know.

When it turned out she was the one to make a side trip, Oh they were pissed.

They loved her, but she should have, no needed to be home with them, she shouldn't have left! Job or no.

Jake wondered if it was too soon to dish out a bit of punishment. They really didn't like how the lady looked at their girl.

Jake did, however, settle a bit when he saw how she looked around and fingered her phone, the other two noticed as well and calmed down, just a bit.

It helped to know she was still thinking of them, still she needed to be at home.

They chose an isle that was close enough to hear them, but still had the perfect view of their girl. Tense shoulders relaxed as their discussion went on.

So imagine their surprise when they answered the call. When Steven met them and was handed a personal gift.

She was definitely forgiven.

And in a way, it allowed each of them to come out. To show themselves to her.

She eagerly accepted their affection and they couldn't be more thrilled.

She was their innocent bean.

———

An: how she came here and how it ends I leave that up to you. Personally I’m a sucker for happy endings

[jj-stay]

☪️Master list☪️ [prompt challenge list]

🌌 Welcome to the Eclipse of K-Pop Fan fiction! 🌌

Hey there, K-Pop enthusiasts! You've stumbled upon your new favorite spot in the vast universe of Tumblr — a sanctuary crafted for lovers of K-Pop fan fiction. Whether you're here to dive into the dramatic twists of idol life or enjoy a fluffy romance, my blog promises a little magic for everyone.

🎤 About This Blog:

Who's Featured? From BTS to BLACKPINK, EXO to TWICE, and every group in between — if they're lighting up the stage, they're likely to pop up here!

What's Inside? Dive into my meticulously crafted stories, where every K-Pop star can become your favorite character. Each post is a new doorway into the glitzy, heartfelt world of K-Pop through the lens of fanfiction.

Requests? Absolutely! Got a plot twist or a dream pairing in mind? Send it over! If it sparks inspiration, I'll spin it into a story.

Trigger Warnings & Themes: Every reader deserves a safe reading experience. Tags and warnings will accompany stories, ensuring you can choose content that feels right for you.

Word Count? From short sparks of inspiration to long, winding adventures — length is no barrier as long as the story calls for it.

🌑 Why You Should Linger in the Shadows: Relax in the dim glow of your screen, get lost in a plot twist, or engage with fellow fans. Whatever your reading style, there’s a dark nook here waiting for you. Peruse at your pleasure, interact with content you love, or shape the future stories with your requests.

🕶️ Join the Dark Side: Feel the pulse of K-Pop fanfiction like never before. Be part of a community that cherishes the thrilling, darker side of fandom. Let’s explore the night together with stories that intrigue, challenge, and captivate.

Are you ready to step into a world where K-Pop and shadowy narratives intertwine? Follow, read, and immerse yourself in the adventure!

☯️STRAY KIDS☯️

CHAN:

Cheeky Little Lover Boy:

you playfully tease Chan with kisses, sparking a lighthearted and loving exchange between you two.

tease;

chan introduces you to his industry friends but also teases you a bit when you get shy to meet your ult bias: niki - enhypen

REACTIONS:

S/O with ADHD/forgetful

walking out in an argument

🔯BTS 🔯

REACTIONS:

S/O who is not scared by scary things

[alpydk]

THINGS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT MY FELLOW WRITERS

this is a super fun tag prompt list, thanks @orangekittyenergy

tagging: @sofancydancy and @senualothbrok

Right, let's see how this goes.

Last book I read: Pride and Prejudice. Had never read it before but the whole Tim Downie cameo got me doing it. Then watched the BBC series with a friend and we swooned something major over Colin Firth. I've picked up some other books since then but just haven't found the motivation to get through them. Looking at Dark Tower book 5 as well for the last year...

Greatest literary inspiration: I'm honestly not sure. My partner is the real reader of the two of us. I've enjoyed Dark Tower, The Witcher Series (Honestly still in love with Cahir from them), and Leaves of Grass is my poetry go-to. But inspiration, going to be silly but the Hardcore series by Andy Remic (RIP), is such a great series of books. They're not the most literary genius type books but the action is cool, I love the characters. They make me want to write cool shit too.

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write:

Smut. Honestly, my abilities with writing smut are limited. I have no patience for flowery language (yeah I write poetry but I know what I mean.) but it means when it comes to writing my own smut it is very matter-of-fact and lacks what I'm looking for. I'm also very picky about my smut due to an annoying logical brain. If you say someone moves their arm and then they move something else I see that and if I can't follow it directly I'm just going to put it down.

You can recognise my writing by:

Lots of short prose-type sentences. I like the effect of repetition and I especially like writing in a more personal talking type way. I especially love to monologue so if anyone does recognise my writing it's probably from these things. I especially love writing anything angst, it's so therapeutic and I love being able to draw out emotions from other people. I can do this with sweet fluff stuff too but angst really is more enjoyable.

My most controversial take ( current fandom):

I hate the word folds. (Not fandom relations but still.) Makes me think of a packed ham sandwich.

Fandom-related though - Astarion fans can get pretty feral over their views of his character. I get it, Gale fans are the same but I've left groups over the rabidness.

Current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): Currently about a 4 but it can vary depending on the hour and the inspiration. I completed the Nana story and now feel a little lost as to what the next project will be. Ideas are escaping me.

Top three favourite tropes: The whole "enemy to lovers" thing. I mean this in a 2 people who argue and fall in love, not as in the real enemies to lovers.

Star-crossed lovers, especially if they really are both doomed. Astarion/Karlach if she is going to burn up. I love that tragic acceptance. Give me more of that.

I like a loveable rogue too. Hook from OUAT.

Share a random frustration: AU fiction losing characterisations. Once your fiction hits a point where you could replace the characters with any other from any other series I'm going to stop reading it. Great, you want X to be sub, but if he wouldn't actually act that way in canon, why are you even using him as a character? It's AU, fine but then make it OC or use another fandom. Don't force me to read through 13 chapters of semi-ok stuff just to destroy the characters so you can fulfil the soap opera-esque drama that gets you the hits. I get it's difficult but this is my pet peeve. Rant over...

[ivorytome]

Delving into the Depths: A Dark Academic Journey

Greetings, fellow scholars and seekers of knowledge,

Today marks the inception of a new endeavor, as I unveil my Tumblr account, a haven where the intricacies of literature, history, music, nostalgia, and personal opinions converge. Allow me to invite you on a dark academic journey, where the shadows of the past intertwine with the allure of the written word, accompanied by the haunting melodies of forgotten eras.

In the age of fleeting trends and shallow distractions, this realm offers solace to those who yearn for intellectual depth, contemplation, and a respite from the banality of the everyday. Here, we shall explore the vast expanse of human thought and experience, delving into the hidden corners of history and literature, unveiling forgotten narratives that whisper through the ages.

Literature, the mirror that reflects our collective soul, shall serve as our guide. We shall immerse ourselves in the works of long-gone masters, their ink-stained words seeping into our consciousness. From the chilling tales of Poe to the ethereal prose of Woolf, every page will lead us closer to the essence of the human condition. Together, we shall traverse the realms of fiction and non-fiction, discovering hidden gems and reevaluating revered classics.

History, that relentless teacher of the past, shall reveal its secrets to us. We shall unravel the intricacies of bygone eras, witnessing the rise and fall of empires, revolutions, and the enduring struggles of humanity. The echoes of forgotten battles and the whispers of long-dead leaders shall guide our understanding of the present, allowing us to reflect on the complexities of our own times.

But this journey is not limited to the written word alone. Music, the language of emotions, shall be our companion. From haunting classical compositions to the rebellious rhythms of rock 'n' roll, each note shall awaken forgotten sentiments and unlock hidden memories. Let us bask in the melodies that have shaped generations, transporting us to times long gone.

Nostalgia, that wistful longing for days past, shall be the thread that binds us. Together, we shall revisit the cherished relics of our collective memories, reminiscing about the toys, movies, and cultural artifacts that colored our lives. Through shared experiences, we shall celebrate the beauty of nostalgia, cherishing the moments that shaped us into who we are today.

Lastly, this domain shall be a platform for the expression of personal opinions. I encourage open dialogue and respectful debates, for it is through the exchange of ideas that our perspectives expand and evolve. Let us challenge one another, engaging in intellectual discourse that will leave no stone unturned.

So, my dear companions, join me as we embark on this journey through the labyrinthine corridors of knowledge and imagination. Together, we shall traverse the annals of literature, history, music, nostalgia, and opinions, shedding light on the hidden recesses of our shared human experience.

May this Tumblr account become a sanctuary for the curious souls, the lovers of intellectual pursuit, and the seekers of truth. Let our collective quest for knowledge be adorned with the darkness of academia, casting a captivating glow upon our path.

Yours in the pursuit of enlightenment .

@ivorytome

[miss-cincaide]

ⓘ 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒: this is a DARK NSFW, not a spoiler-free blog.

This means that those below 18, AKA minors, are UNWELCOME in this space. This is where I post NSFW, PWP, SMUT and similar content NOT suitable for youths, children or those under 18. 

Minors AND those uncomfortable with NSFW should head over to My Main mixed blog and BSD heavy blog. 

NO, if you block this account, you will NOT be blocking the SFW ones. So go enjoy those guilt-free (ish).

ⓘ Warnings! Not all content is everyones cup of tea. So please, read the warnings carefully. Also If you don’t like dark content, cursing, swearing, violence, SEX etc then- you’re on the wrong blog. So. just block me at this point. Back to the topic: please be respectful at all times. Any hate, disrespect, or derogatory comments will result in a block. Don’t like my content? Don’t spam my inbox about it- just block me and get on with your day.

ⓘ 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐃𝐍𝐈: if you lack basic common sense: Do I even need to list it all at this point? You know the drill (racist, homophobic, xenophobic, zionist, islamophobic, transphobic, shota(loli)con lovers + any other form of minor-adult relations, animal abusers, etc. I don’t wanna see or interact with this shit. Period.) If you cannot separate fiction from real life this place isn’t for you. kay? So see yourself out.

ⓘ WAYS TO GET Blocked?!: If you are a minor in an adult space, On a side note, WHO IS A MINOR? Anyone, below 18 years old. I don’t care that 16 is the new 18; I don’t care that you can fuck from 15 or are a heavy porn addict.I also technically don’t care that you read this shit, this isn’t about YOU. This is about MY comfort level and MY fics and fantasies that I make publicly available. Content BY ADULTS for ADULTS. 

If you detest self-shipping and hate on it or ‘x reader’ fics, dark fiction, enforce censorship on others (ME!), IGNORE MY RULES, or show similar disregard to a fellow writer, I will block you for both our sakes. 

Spam liking my posts (6+) without any other engagement, especially in a short period of time, is an annoyance to me and will likely to result in a ban. I may also ban people for simply not wanting to engage with them. You know if you’re one of them. 

ⓘ In addition: DO NOT claim, plagiarise, repost, translate into different languages, or feed my works into ai. Doing this will just result in a ban and, ultimately me hiding my works (again).  DO NOT spam my inbox wondering why I haven’t responded to a request. I get easily overwhelmed, I have other obligations, and I’m just crawling out of a hiatus etc etc.  DO NOT ask, demand or request SFW stuff ON THIS BLOG. That type of content has two blogs of their own! 

CONCERNING WRITING: ⓘ IT TAKES TIME: I am not a fic churning machine nor do I pump out stuff daily. This is a hobby for me in between classes, work, homelife etc. So fic updates WILL take time, and so WILL requests. I do not have a set schedule or consistency when writing, so I update whenever I have the time, wish and desire to. 

ⓘ THERE ARE THEMES I WON’T ENGAGE WITH: ❌Pedophilia/children-in-sexual-content/minor+adult pairings + Lolicon/shotacon and similar.       ❌ Vore, extensive and in-depth long gore, including wound fucking,  ❌Scat/Fecal kinks, Extreme piss, Vomit ❌ Improper animal treatment (abuse, slaughter, bestiality, FUCKING them-ewww wtf is wrong with you?! etc). ❌Do not call your prompt 'Dead dove'- the word makes me wretch, and the prompt is directly rejected even if I normally write in those themes.

ⓘ✔ THERE ARE THEMES I’M MEH ABOUT BUT MAY ENGAGE:  Breeding, plus beta/omega,  Rainbow kisses, Snowball play [Much of blood/Cum related],  Squirting, pissing, rimjobs  Prostituion  Somophilia (Consensual and Non-consensual) Cheating/ NTR Footjobs + Finger/hand play.

✔ THERE ARE THEMES I WILL ENGAGE WITH:  Vanilla sex/ Biting/Scratching/Marking/Hair pulling Orgy/Threesoms/Group/Sharing  Overstimulation/Edging/Facial & Oral Teasing including Lapdances, Stripping etc Dirty Talk/Sexting/ Begging/ Praise & Degradation/ Insults Brat taming/ Dumbification/Dacryphilia Dom/Sub scenes + Bondage/Shibari/ Restraints,/Toys/Roleplays or Costumes  Breath play/ Chasing-Running away/ CNC/ Dub Con and Non Con/ Aphorisiacs/Sex pollen,  Exhibitionism/ Public/ Cock warming

ABOUT REQUESTS AND ENGAGEMENT

ⓘCURRENTLY ALL REQUESTS ARE *CLOSED*

ⓘWHEN OPEN Send requests only via inbox, not direct messages: See below for Fandoms and Characters I write for: 

✔ Jujutsu Kaisen:  Megumi Fushiguro Ryomen Sukuna Nobara Kugisaki Yuji Itadori

✔ Bungou Stray Dogs:  Chuuya Nakahara  Osamu Dazai  Fyodor Dostoyevski  Atsuji Nakajima 

ⓘ So, like any writer, I take creative liberty with each and every prompt. So whenever you request something I use it as a guideline but often take the story in a completely different direction. So be warned that what you request may not follow the request/plot word-by-word (otherwise there's no point for me to write it!).

ⓘIF I cannot do your prompt for whatever reason AND it follows the rules, I will let you know. 

Additionally: 

Please DO!! COMMENT ON and  REBLOG my posts <3 it keeps me motivated to post and try out stuff. I AM NOT A FAN OF SPAM LIKES, repeated liking within a short period of time with no other engagement MAY be blocked.

Please DO!! Engage with me. DMS are the easiest way to get a hold of me and then asks. You need something quickly from me and it can’t wait a few hours? Reach out on my current Main account: Raven-Cincaide. I check it much more frequently! BUT I WILL eventually get back to you! If you’ve waited long, don’t hesitate to send me another message, it might be so that my phone app glitches and I need to log in through my PC to see your message.

Please DO!! Tag me in posts, challenges, random posts, games, and don’t hessitate to send me tiktok/youtube/insta links or similar through my ask. I might even type something out based on them ;)

|Main |Raven|Rules & Requests |Masterlist | Links 

All fics are unique works by © miss-cincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reworked/reposted/copied anywhere, please inform me!

[rawralittlerawr]

Kindle Vella Story Beginnings

Whispers: The United States of Christ

Dystopian, LGBTQ+ Fiction

Read the first three episodes for FREE!

The haunting story of the trials of a gay couple in 2028. Set in a dark and deeply divided America where love didn't win in 2015, leading to a devastating coup, and the end of democracy. 

Welcome to The United States of Christ!

A cautionary tale.

Meet the main character (the author of the journal entry in episode one: Dear Diary) in the first three episodes, who has thus far remained nameless. Some episodes will be in journal entry format, and some will be told in a format from the point of view of the main character and/or the main character's wife, Amora. Later on, there will be episodes with other characters' points of view.

Hello, fellow book lovers :) I'm still new to the KDP and Kindle Vella communities and would LOVE some interaction and feedback from my fellow community members and readers.

I recently finished the first three episodes of each of my two stories, so all six episodes are free to check out right now. I'm still working on the next few episodes of both, and hope to soon be able to drop a new episode a week for each story.

Here is a snippet from the journal entry in Episode One- "Dear Diary" and I won't lie, I cried as I wrote it. This story (I'm writing) feels personal, and timely, on so many levels. -April Washington (writing as Octavia Ambrose)

"When I found this notebook yesterday, I thought about that diary for the first time in years. I can’t help but wonder what may have happened to it after my parents were killed. It was in a tote of my childhood possessions in their attic, and the militia group that killed them is known for scavenging after their raids now. They leave behind a couple of their lowest-ranked members and some of the stronger men from the camps. 

The armed militia guards treat the men like slaves, forcing them to sort and salvage whatever they can while they themselves smoke or play cards and watch. 

Did they find my diary? If they did, did they toss it immediately, or did the guards read it out loud as entertainment? All I can imagine is them laughing as they slap each other on the back, mocking the young “sinner” who wrote it. 

That thought brings tears to my eyes. Maybe I’m silly. It’s just a diary. With one little secret. But it was mine! My secret to keep. My right to keep it or share it. Without fear. 

When I wrote that diary my secret wasn’t illegal. 

I guess it’s not the diary, but the reminder. 

Once upon a time, I was free. To live and love without fear."

“I think having a beautiful, brilliant black family

in the White House for eight years,

absolutely drove a lot of people crazy.”

-Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

Professor, Harvard University

“In the end, we will remember not the 

words of our enemies,

but the silence of our friends.”

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Alternate history/Alternate reality/Dystopian/LGBTQ+ fiction/ Cautionary tale/TW

[northern-passage]

Love your writing! I’ve played a few IFs and very few of them stand out in terms of quality: A compelling plot, three dimensional characters, an enjoyable MC, and relevant player choices. Yours is one of them!

Do you have any favorite IFs?

thank you so much!!

since i've started writing, i haven't really been reading IFs like i used to, and there are a lot of newer games that i haven't had the chance to play, and others that i've not had the time to catch up on. but here are some of my favorites, in no particular order:

god of the red mountain by @friendlybowlofsoup - i love this game so much. there is a lot of replayability here and i love the setting & the huge cast of characters. i could go on and on but honestly just go play it if you haven't!

diaspora by @diasporatheblog - another game with a lot of replayability and a lot of really interesting characters. the opening of this game has always stuck with me. also the game design itself is something i aspire to with tnp.

virtue's end (18+) by @crimsiswrites - my fellow monster hunter... another game where i really love the setting, and the worldbuilding with helvlings and their keepers. currently undergoing a rewrite, & i recommend checking out all the info on the blog before playing through the old demo.

project hadea (18+) by @nyehilismwriting - every time i read this game i get an uncontrollable urge to write sci-fi and watch alien. writing is very compelling and i love the alien designs, refreshing to actually see something... alien!!

scout: an apocalypse story by @anya-dev - i am behind on updates (sorry fake fan) but i love scout so much, one of the few games where i really love all of the companions, also we all know i am weak for friends to lovers.... i also really love apocalypse stories that feel... hopeful? and that are about community, rather than individual survival.

crosshollow foundations by @townofcrosshollow - i love the character creation in this one, and i love being an "observer" and guiding the characters in their choices. i've linked crosshollow's itch.io page here because jasper has a few other games that revolve around the universe of crosshollow.

snakeroot & walk with me by @cerberus-writes - cer has such a beautiful way with words... he knows this i scream about his writing all the time & i can't recommend them enough. snakeroot is a modern horror fantasy, another fellow monster hunter! walk with me is a bit different, with bitsy gameplay, where you take a walk and have a conversation with a god.

a tale of crowns (16+) by @ataleofcrowns - another game i am unfortunately not up to date on (i’m so sorry) but i did stay up super late reading the first three or four chapters all at once! a really great fantasy game with a refreshing setting and a really great cast of characters. also love the attention to detail and the small touches that go into personalizing the crown.

body count (18+) by @bodycountgame - oh this game is so fun, fun writing, fun characters, a fun premise! this is actually my favorite kind of modern horror, where a group of fun young adults are off to have a cute adventure or something but then... something terrible happens! murder! maybe an unexpected twist or two! also i love bad reality television so like... truly it’s perfect.

a limber love by @copperspines - ohh i love this game, i’ve played through for all seven endings and i just love speculative horror fiction like this. good atmosphere and i love the illustrations.

the spirited: origins by @yuveim - my other favorite kind of modern horror: ghost hunting!!! really good horror writing in this, and i’m excited to see how the relationships between all the characters unfold going forward, and how exactly we’re going to deal with the whole demon thing...

the exile (18+) by @exilethegame - another game where i really like the character customization and the worldbuilding, and no one should be surprised i like playing characters like the commander. this game has a lot of replayability and lots of secrets to uncover.

blood moon (18+) by @barbwritesstuff - werewolves, ghosts, and vampires, oh my! updates when the moon is full (yes i am behind on this one barb writes so fast it’s insane). a great cast, lots of choices and branching and replayability. werewolves are the superior supernatural love interest and i will die on this hill.

the goodfellows & creature’s cradle by @thecuriouseye - the goodfellows is so interesting, again the worldbuilding and lore in this one is just chef’s kiss!! dark fantasy with giant monsters and heavy consequences. creature’s cradle is a supernatural post-apocalyptic story with zombies, vampires, werewolves, and more. the current demo is short and sweet but i’m excited for more.

boundary pass by @boundarypass-if - as someone who has worked as both a park ranger and a forest ranger, this game really gets me. i love the kind of horror you can only experience when you’re alone out in the wilderness....

when it hungers (16+) by @roast-ifs - i love the setting of this one: fantasy 1910s. really cool species available for character customization, and some good horror writing. i love the team dynamic of the main cast, and how the main character struggles to find their place in it without their memories.

greenwarden by @fiddles-ifs - yet another fantasy horror game! modern setting this time. really interesting main character, with a past that seems to be haunting them... but right now there’s a mystery to be solved and a monster to track.

contrition by @nihilnovisubsole - i’ve recommended this one before but i really love it, the atmosphere, the writing, everything about it... it’s stuck with me and it’s a great read.

this is by no means a complete list of IFs i enjoy but hopefully there is something new for you in here that you like. i’m sure i’m forgetting some that i will curse myself for later... there’s a lot of talent in the IF community and there are a lot of new stories just getting started that i just haven’t had the time to read, but you can always browse my other games tag for newer intro posts as well.

[interact-if]

Day 2 of our Arab Heritage Month Featured Author Interviews, starting with Jaymee!

Jaymee, author of Lost Lambs.

You are an assassin of renown, a professional in the world of contract killing. Deadly, discreet, and experienced. Hired by a wealthy, mysterious client for your most peculiar job yet.

“Off the New England coast is a grand manor awaiting its first drop of blood. Attend the week-long banquet and kill all attending guests as instructed.”

The reason should not matter but still, you wonder - why all these people at once? Why the drama and effort of a banquet? Where is the host? And why are the servants, empty eyes and puppet smiles, watching you? Hidden like a wolf among sheep, you begin to suspect you may not be the only one or thing that stalks these gilded halls.

Read more about Lost Lambs here. Play the Demo here. Tags: Mystery.

[INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!]

Q1. Tell us about yourself and project(s)?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a big fan of all things dark and creepy in fiction. Hauntings, murder, vampires, the crushing dread that comes with being alive - I love reading and writing it! So, Lost Lambs was a pretty expected project for me. Set in the Gilded Age, Lost Lambs is basically a reverse whodunnit where you play as the mysterious killer. There was a video game that had a quest like this and it was so much fun, I just had to make my own version after discovering IF.

Q2. What excites you most about using interactive fiction? What are some of the biggest challenges?

All the different choices! All the different results! As a writer, I love seeing what different readers do. And then all the different ways I can have the story react to them. It’s exciting but also one of the biggest challenges, if not the biggest. Compared to a regular story, it can get overwhelming very fast - especially when you want to accommodate a large amount of play styles. Just having to accept I can’t include everything is a challenge itself.

Q3. Do you use your identity/heritage as inspiration? How is it reflected in your project?

It’s reflected the most in my characters and their overall themes, I think. Being Palestinian and Filipino in America, I grew up feeling torn between cultures. Many of my characters have experienced that. Even if it’s not completely the same, there’s usually an underlying theme of feeling like an outsider and what bridges we have to build or burn to overcome it and accept ourselves.

Q4. What aspect of your identity would you like to explore further in your project?

I don’t think Lost Lambs is a really good project for identity exploration lol. But in the future, I’d love to write something a little closer to home. Maybe something involving religion or folklore so I can pay tribute to the stories my family shared with me. It’d be interesting to see if I could tie that into modern times.

Q5. What is something about your project that you love or make you excited?

Not to sound like an edge lord but honestly, the more messed up, macabre aspects. Plus, I adore villain protagonists! There’s just so much potential for intrigue and heartbreak and moral crises. Lost Lambs is also absurd in a way that I find morbidly funny. Horror and comedy are so closely related and I enjoy balancing the grim tone with hints of humor.

Q6. What would you like to see more in interactive fiction/the IF community?

I’d love to see more authors explore their own identities! Writing is a great way to celebrate parts of yourself. And if it helps the writer connect then surely a few readers will also be able to connect. On a dumber note, I’m a sucker for every ex-option love interest. Give me the exes. Enemies to lovers? It’s alright. Lovers to enemies? I’ll take 100, please.

Q7. Do you have any advice for your fellow authors?

It’s going to sound like the most generic advice ever but Have Fun, first and foremost. And try not to pay attention to numbers whether it’s word count or followers. Just go wild! Get everything down onto a page, a napkin, the walls of your room, doesn’t matter. Give life to what you want to write before you kill it off. Don’t get too caught up in your own head before even starting because that can be the hardest part. Because once you’ve started, you can always come back to it later.

[sukirichi]

dutifully yours. [01]

Attached to the could’ve been’s of a promised happily ever after with the Crown Prince disguised under a scheme for power and greed, you are torn between choosing your happiness — or abandoning it to fulfill your duty as the future Queen.

→ unedited bcos i’m brave lazy. implied patriarchy. angst in future chapters. pure romance and fluff for now. royalty au. eventual smut. prince naoya !! i love him sm i could cry. this fic will break me, okay. naoya is close to canon but with my twist if that makes sense. drama in future chapters. oh and listen to this while reading <3

→ massive shoutout to my besties for always hyping me and helping me uwu, i present this token of prince naoya being an ideal husband okay cry cry i love him sm im crying. anyways pls enjoy bcos i poured my heart out to this and bcos i want more people in the naoya fucker club :>

one | next (to be posted)

Ever since the day your mother taught you how to read, you’ve had your nose buried in a book. Losing yourself in different worlds, swooning over fictional princes, and fantasizing for a love story ripped out of fairytale itself with such burning, passionate romance – you’d been through it all, dreamt of it all. And yet, you struggled to stop yourself from tugging at your dress.

The tight corset hadn’t even been the main focus of your worries, and neither was the heavy rivière resting on your collarbones.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” Beside you, your mother pursed her lips, fingers decorated with jewels stopping in their movements of fanning herself. The temperature hadn’t been particularly high inside the limousine that evening. You supposed it was the mere sight of you tugging and gulping audibly every now and then, gloved hands running over the hems of your collar.

You ducked your head down. “Sorry, Mother. I can’t help it.”

“Dear, your anxiety is written all over your face,” she sighed, turning your face to her as she cupped your cheeks. Smiling tenderly like a mother always did, your heart felt soothed even by the slightest bit. You wished she could keep holding you like this – like you were a fragile flower she was afraid of breaking; a fragile flower that needed more care handled than most. Tonight, however, you felt a hundred years older. Like you’d accidentally clicked on fast forward and got launched to the future. A future that seemed so unclear yet so...perfect. So right.

“How would the Prince fancy you if you’re sweating bullets like that? It’s not a good look for a marquess’ daughter.”

At the mention of the Crown Prince, your heart sank again. “My apologies, Mother. I’m just rather nervous. It’s the Crown Prince we’re talking about here.”

“He is quite the looker, isn’t he?” she giggled behind her fan, “Strong and handsome, as well.”

“My ladies. You are not fantasizing over the Crown Prince in my presence, are you?”

Crossing her leg over the other, your mother leaned forwards, elbows on her knees as she winked at your father. The marquess had his torso half twisted from the passenger seat, glaring playfully at your mother’s unabashed features. “It is of no seriousness, My Lord. I’m simply easing your daughter’s nerves.”

Your father sighed in worry. “What’s got you so worked up, child? You are beautiful. The Prince would be blind to not notice you.”

Each fibre in your body screamed in desperation for your father to be right. Tonight was not just any other night – the entire Kingdom, including noblewomen, foreign royals, and unwed daughters from honourable families had been invited to the Zen’in Castle for one purpose only: to find his Crown Prince a suitable wife, one that would be fit to be the next Queen as well. As the daughter of the marquess, you’d naturally received the invitation. It felt just like yesterday when the mail arrived and you’d cheered so much in joy the chickens went flying out of their coops, your horses galloping and whinnying at surprise, and now you here – minutes away from the palace where you were soon to be deemed worthy or unworthy to be beside His Highness.

With a shaky smile, you dug your nails into your thighs. “Well, we’ve only met once, Father. I doubt the Prince would remember me.”

“Just smile, darling. You will do great.”

To no one’s surprise, the Zen’in Castle brimmed with people and esteemed guests. Men and women danced with one another as muted chatters and chuckles blended in with the grand royal orchestra, everyone dressed to the nines and making you feel completely out of place.

The moment you’d been welcomed by the knights and led to the palace doors, your dress began to feel tighter than usual, your ribs clenching uncomfortably from the pressure. Your hands had not stopped trembling either, not even when you hid it behind your back and nodded at the people passing by. There were governor-generals, dukes, earls, professors and royal advisors and even families of the royal family’s inner circle of knights. Everyone looked like they belonged here. Chatting amongst one another over the finest of wines or discussing conspiracies on where the Kingdom of Zen’in would be in the next sixty years of the future King’s reign, no one here seemed to be out of place.

Everyone except you.

A warm hand was suddenly placed on the small of your back, making you gasp. Your mother’s smile was nothing short of warm as she held you close to her one last time, leaving a kiss on your forehead. You didn’t even realize how much you shook until she clasped her hands with yours. “Calm down, dear,” she reminded, “You’ll be on your own now. This is where we leave you since we’re not supposed to mingle with potential princesses.”

“Mother!” Your eyes widened in embarrassment. Looking around frantically, you bit your lip in fear someone must’ve heard.

Of course, while it would be no surprise most guests – if not all – hoped that their daughter would be the Crown Prince’s chosen fiancée, it still felt wrong to boldly assume such when you could barely keep up with the events of tonight.

However, your mother merely laughed. “I am proud of you, dear. Never forget that. It doesn’t matter whether you are chosen or not. We’re only here for formality and respect to the King and Queen’s demands.”

“You say that as if the Crown Prince really would not bother with me.”

“We didn’t mean that,” your father cut in, a flute of champagne already nested between his calloused fingers. Ever since you arrived, he’d been snatched away by fellow earls and barons, disappearing into the crowd for a ‘hearty conversation over one’s lands.’ You knew better than that, though. That statement always translated to which leader got to have more chances to wine and dine with the King, to which your family was ridiculously reminded of that you’d been stationed to the most faraway land where even hearing news from the royal papers was but a privilege.

“Just be yourself, alright? And enjoy the party. It’s about time you met with girls your own age and made some friends.”

“I – Father, wait!”

A slender young woman slithered to your side out of nowhere, her golden brown eyes following the silhouettes of your parents. It wasn’t long before they completely disappeared. Left alone with the stunning woman that was – for some reason – dressed in a plain black curve hugging dress too modest for tonight’s appropriateness, you took three steps away in caution. “You must be from way up North,” she noted, her head to the tipped to the side. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

God, was she beautiful. Long, thick eyelashes and short hair chopped in messy yet elegant curves, you struggled to hold her gaze. “Oh, yes, I come from the Terratian Borders. My family is stationed there under His Majesty’s orders.”

She hummed to herself. “The Terratian Borders are mostly forests and fields, no? The last time my family and I visited there, I came across the loveliest dandelions I’ve ever laid eyes on. Shame they died on the way back,” offering her hand – again, bare and empty with decorations yet still littered with faint scars and cuts – she beamed at you. “I’m Mai, by the way. Mai Zen’in.”

Zen’in?

Hands cupping your mouth, you bowed deep until your back ached. “Lady Mai!” you shut your eyes closed, unable to live with the shame. Mai Zen’in; one of the iconic twin pair from the extended Zen’in royal family, both a fashion icon and a legend for being a rumoured female knight. To have her in your presence was an honour. “My apologies for not recognizing you any sooner, Lady Mai!”

“Stand up, I’m not a royal,” she sniggered, “We’re just relatives of the actual monarch, but don’t let the family name fool you. The Crown Prince barely even acknowledges us being of the same blood.”

Albeit hesitant, you followed her gestures of making you stand up. You straightened your back and cleared your throat, fighting the urge to go haywire the moment his name was brought into the conversation. Not only would you be seeing Prince Naoya again in real life for the first time in years, but you’d also made acquaintances with his distant niece. However, his name was spoken with malice.

Frowning, you faced Lady Mai in all seriousness. “Prince Naoya? Why so?” Lady Mai looked at you like you’d grown two heads.

“He’s an ass, that’s why.”

“I-I don’t think he is,” you defended, “The Prince has been nothing but kind to me.”

“I didn’t know he was capable of kindness,” she muttered more so under her breath, low enough you were unsure whether you were supposed to hear it in the first place. Lady Mai then shook her head to herself before stealing a flute from a waiter passing by. Chucking it your way, her face turned dark and grim. “Take it as free advice: stay as far away from his as possible. The Crown Prince is nothing but good news.”

“Is it because he has lots of lovers?” you inquired with a small voice, “Uhm – well – It was an assumption. With a title and handsomeness like that, it would make sense everyone would want to be the Crown Prince’s lover.”

Lady Mai’s lip curled upwards. “Prince Naoya won’t bother with lovers. He is too occupied for that.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Heard from whom?”

“The Royal Declaration from His Majesty himself,” you said, “Was it not the purpose of this ball? To find worthy candidates to be the Crown Prince’s betrothed? His coronation is coming soon.”

“Right. I forgot today was technically a bridal market,” she scratched the edge of her brow, falling silent for a moment. Her eyes scanned the lively crowd for a brief moment – watching with you as everyone laughed and danced to their heart’s content – the grand final event of the routine personal dance with the Crown Prince himself slowly approaching to reality. “You are joining in the festivities, are you not? Later, when he arrives, he shall meet you.”

“I am obligated to as a noble bachelorette, though I doubt His Highness would even look my way. There are far richer noblewomen here and even daughters of duke that would be perfect as his wife. ”

“You may have a point for that,” she hummed to herself, unaware that her agreement to the Crown Prince not paying attention to you left a sting both in your ego and heart. Not that it lasted long, for Lady Mai was already tugged on the arm by another equally fiercely beautiful woman – her older twin, Maki Zen’in. Soon to be governon-general of the Kingdom.

Lady Mai smiled in apology. “I need to go now since I’m not a part of this event. But hey, if ever I come around to visit the Borders again, perhaps you could entertain me?”

“I would be honoured to, Lady Mai.”

“You are sweet and innocent,” it was her sister who spoke this time, glasses perched high on her nose that concealed the wariness of her gaze. “I hope the Crown Prince never gets to your routine.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s nothing; she was talking to herself. Maki does that a lot,” Lady Mai’s forced chuckles were barely heard from the music. “You enjoy the party now. Don’t drink too much lest you want to embarrass yourself in everyone’s eyes and be talk of the Kingdom. Prince Naoya would hate it if you took the attention away from him.”

“Oh, uhm...”

“It’s a joke, Lady Y/N. Relax.”

You bowed once more. “My apologies.”

“The dance is about to begin,” Maki tapped on your shoulder, making you look up right where her eyes zeroed in. And exactly in the middle of the grandiose hall, under the sparkling golden chandeliers where he made all the gold in the world look incomparable next to him, the Crown Prince stood in his fully glory. Blond hair with the ends stained of midnight gelled back to reveal his forehead, the Crown Prince’s beauty never failed to shine. Whether it be in the papers, in the tabloids, in the billboards that you passed on the way to the city, or from way back when you met him for the first time as a naive, innocent teen – Crown Prince Naoya came straight out of a magazine cover.

In the back of your head, you could hear either of the twins murmuring good luck. Maybe both of them had said it – you had no idea. All of your attention, all the sensibility and coherence of your state had been switched the next instant, as if your heart and soul was born for the sole purpose of being bewitched by your Crown Prince.

And as if feeling someone’s gaze on him, the Crown Prince’s eyes trailed over the crowd. Almost boredly, his sharp eyes bounced from one giggling woman to another, the ends of his lips smirking upwards for just the tiniest bit. It must’ve stroked his ego. Until his eyes connected with yours. The Crown Prince’s eyebrows knitted together. You had no idea how you looked in that moment, and quite frankly, you didn’t care. Because the Crown Prince was looking at you, and you were looking at him with hearts in your eyes along with your heart pulsing at the tip of your tongue.

“Let us begin,” his lips moved from the distance, “Play the music. I shall dance with my bride.”

The air shifted in a split second. Murmurs were thrown over the room, women and men alike turning pale. Even the orchestra was stunned from the Crown Prince’s entrance – and it hadn’t even been dramatic to his standards – yet the whole castle fell mum from just a few of his words. A few seconds later, the crowd recomposed itself, and the strings began to dance along with its bows.

You are pushed into the crowd. Nearly colliding into the arms of another, you quietly thank the masked man who was to be your first partner of the night.

All the men joining the dance floor dressed with the intention of making the Crown Prince shine. Prince Naoya stood out from the throng of white as per the colour code, his blood red uniform as both Prince with the  golden crest of the military leader pinned to his right breast. The other men meant to be filler partners until all the potential brides got to their designated three minutes with the Prince were all dressed in black, faces covered behind a plain black mask. None were allowed to talk. None were allowed to utter even a word, and so your partner pursed his lips in displeasure at your apology.

Whatever. You just had to wait a few more rounds before the song finished and transitioned into a new one; the song where you’d been informed would be your time alone with the Prince.

You’d been so lost in your head you barely breathed the entire dance. From partner to partner, you blanked. Your heart drummed so wildly in its cage it begged to come out, and strings of apologies were let out each time your masked partners grimaced for a brief second when their hands came in contact with your sweaty ones. Around you, all the lovely women smiled and danced graciously, mouths moving in unreadable conversations shared with the Crown Prince. Not once did you look at the six partners you’ve danced with. Not once did you worry about tripping on your own feet. Not once did you care that some of the masked men held you a little too roughly for your comfort. Your entire reason for existing in that moment was to witness the Crown Prince himself, mirroring his frown that got deeper and deeper with each woman retreating to the sea of people he’d rejected.

Not once did you even think about being one of them – the girls who’ve ducked their heads down as their parents comforted them over not being the chosen one, of bringing ‘dishonour’ to their families that the mighty Crown Prince had deemed them unworthy. Tears streamed down their faces until black ink followed afterwards, lips trembling from silent sobs.

Despite their broken prides – although there was that minority who simply sighed in relief after returning to their own families – no one would dare interrupt the Crown Prince’s dances.

All of these thoughts crossed your mind too late and at the exact time your masked partner pulled away from you, body half bent in a bow with his arm outstretched to the side. Following where he was gesturing at, your eyes met the Crown Prince’s tall and lean stature, a few blond fringes now fallen from his movements.

Even though a thin layer of sweat shone from his face, Prince Naoya remained ethereal.

And like a snake charmed by the musician’s seductive tone, your feet moved on its own. Fingers stretching until it met with the Crown Prince’s large and warm ones, you were now in front of him. With him. Holding him, touching him, meeting him eye for eye and realizing – gold. His eyes burned a deep shade of gold, elegantly rich and heartbreakingly stunning your heart ached.

Before you knew it, your hands began to tremble, feeling as if your body had been corded into a corset three sizes smaller. You could not breathe, and the Crown Prince took notice.

“You are stiff. Do I make you uncomfortable?” Good Saint. If only possible, you would’ve closed your eyes and basked in the deep warmth of his voice. It reverberated from deep within, breathed out with an air of natural authority and profound confidence it made your knees weak. As if sensing his effect on you (though for the wrong reasons, it seemed), Prince Naoya hummed to himself. “This routine shall last for a few minutes before I can let you go, I’m afraid.”

You instantly realized the implications of your silence. “N-not at all, Your Highness! I am honoured to be dancing with you.”

“There is no honour in a choreographed dance. Everyone will dance with me. It’s nothing special.”

Your heart fell. Prince Naoya not only sounded dejected, but detached as well. As if he found no pleasure or specialty in this event, at a time where he had every opportunity to meet his lover, and that this ball was merely a task to be checked off in his already long list of responsibilities. It wasn’t disappointment, per se, but rather melancholy that left a bitter taste in your mouth. Not because Prince Naoya held little to no regards for something you treasured, but because he sounded terribly alone. Like he was simply waiting for it to end out of discomfort.

“It’s special to me, Your Highness,” you blurted out faster than you could stop yourself. For a moment, you feared you may have offended him, but the Crown Prince only laughs.

And when he did – saint, when he laughed – his eyes crinkled into half moons, pearly whites flashing against the bright lights and his whole chest shook with amusement.

You’d never seen him smile this way before.

Prince Naoya’s laughter didn’t cease. Around you, your gut instincts told that people were now beginning to look; the Crown Prince’s deep rumbles of laughter sounded exquisitely like music as well, after all. “ Is it special to you because you are now dancing and within the Crown Prince’s proximity? As much as I presume how exhilarating it might be for those who mostly see me in the papers and in the tabloids, I assure you, dancing with your Prince is not an honour. Especially when you are all sent the invitations based on your status and not your worthy traits.”

“It’s special to me,” you mumbled, growing shy all of a sudden when the Crown Prince nodded at you to continue. “Because...because it reminds me of the first time we met.”

The Crown Prince hummed in amusement.

“We have met before?”

“Yes, Your Highness. I’m from the Terratian Borders – my father is a loyal servant of His Majesty. You visited the borders when you were eighteen and I was sixteen. Do you remember it, Your Highness? You stormed in my private library.”

Indeed, the young barely-out-of-his-teens Crown Prince barged into your home’s library years ago. You were not previously informed he and his parents would be visiting since they arrived wordlessly, so you were stuck in your chambers as usual, killing time if not for sleeping and tending to the animals. Perched on a ladder, you attempted to reach for a book on the upper shelf when your foot slipped beneath you. At the age of sixteen, you were dramatic enough to say your life flashed before your eyes. You would’ve screamed then had strong arms not appeared out of nowhere, the Crown Prince staring at you with wide, golden eyes as they were now, his breathy rasped as he asked, are you okay, my lady?

The mere recollection of that fateful memory had your cheeks warming in delight. “You were so charming and heroic back then. Even when I had no idea you were a royal, I would have still believed you to be princely,” you said rather absentmindedly, blinking once then twice at your words. “Of course, it’s understandable if you do not remember, Your Highness!”

“My apologies. I do not remember, though Terratia is a wonderful place. Such a shame I was not informed beforehand they had a lovely daughter.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” you cheered back, cheeks and jaw beginning to ache from how wide you were smiling. But could anyone blame you? You felt absolutely silly that you were a breath away from passing out minutes ago, and now here you were, dancing with the Crown Prince and sharing memories with him like it was a daily occurrence. The words it’s true love when you feel at peace with them suddenly rang back at your head from that latest romance novel you read, and you turned away, hoping the Crown Prince would not read your thoughts to your face. However, Prince Naoya’s lips pursed into a thin line, all traces of humour now disappeared. “I’m sorry – should I not have laughed?”

“No, I don’t mind,” he mused with his jaw locked tight, “I just haven’t seen anyone react that way before.”

“Like what?”

“Like my words meant the entire universe to them. I may dare even say you look terribly in love, though I cannot blame you on that one, can I?”

Prince Naoya shook his head the minute the words left his mouth. Forcing himself to believe it couldn’t be real, perhaps, you truly did not know anymore. Your only plan for tonight was to see the Crown Prince and get to live out your dream of seeing him once more even for just a brief moment before you travelled back home while he married another, and yet – “Your Highness, I’m in love with you. I have always been since the day we met.”

You could no longer stop the words. The voice at the back of your head begged you to shut up and not cause a scene, that your time had passed up and people were staring, yet you remained in his arms no matter how much you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole.

“Please do not misunderstand me, Your Highness. I did not come here to attempt to steal your heart and be your wife, though I will admit I have dreamt of meeting you again for so many moons. I...I only want to tell you this. That I love you and even though it was a brief moment, I think the love I’ve always read about felt real and possible for the first time in my life,” chuckling nervously, you gather to courage to face him, adoration shining for the Crown Prince stood shock still before you, however stunned he may be. “I love you, Your Highness. I love you. And to whoever lucky woman you choose to be your betrothed, I hope she takes care of you and showers you with all the affection you are deserving of. You would make a great King. So God help his Crown Prince, and may you lead us all into a better world.”

Prince Naoya did not budge a muscle. His eyes remained hard on yours, breath warm as his nostrils fumed. With each passing second that he did not speak, you grew restless and tugged your arm away from his hold with a disgraceful smile.

You’d truly crossed your line. The repercussions to be faced for this impoliteness would destroy your family’s honour. You had to leave. “Your Highness? The song has changed. It’s time to let go—”

The Crown Prince inched close enough until his hair tickled your cheeks, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine as he pulled you close, close enough that your lower bodies touched. Skin ablaze with heat, you dared not move an inch. “Do you mean it?” he demanded lowly, his fingers ghosting over your wrist to hold you in place. “Do you truly love me? Not for what I have, not for who I was born to be, but me as a person itself?”

Closing your eyes to shudder in a deep breath, you exhaled. “Of course, Your Highness. Even if you were not born as a Prince, I’m sure I would’ve still loved you in a different universe.”

“But I do not know you.”

“We don’t have to know each other, Your Highness, and we never will. Once you let me go, I’ll return to the shadows where I belong, and I will continue supporting you until the day of your coronation.”

“And if I refuse to let you go?” he clicked his tongue, “What will you do then?”

The Crown Prince’s spicy perfume must be an aphrodisiac or hypnotizer of sorts. Everything he did messed with your mind that it was too late – the music had stopped and people were no longer drinking or chatting. Everyone’s eyes were on you and the Crown Prince. You could only imagine how controversial this position must be; with his lips trailing dangerously close to that sensitive spot in your neck where you nearly moaned. You really needed to leave.

“P-people are looking, Your Highness. You do not want this affair with someone you won’t choose—”

“Who said I won’t choose you?” Finally, he pulled away. But Prince Naoya never once tore his gaze away from yours, nor did he allow you to look at anyone but him as he caresses your jaw so light and feathery you wondered if he was truly there.“Who said I haven’t laid my eyes on you the moment you walked in here? This ball is for naught because of you, Lady Y/N. I’ve already made my choice, and you helped me confirm it as soon as you danced with me.”

“Your Highness...”

“Look at me,” he ordered, your eyes flitting from his pinkish lips to his sharp nose and then to his fox-like gaze. Only this time, Prince Naoya was no longer harsh. “Don’t be scared.”

“But they’re looking.”

“You are with me, of course they’ll look,” he teased, “They wish to be you right now. But ignore them and dance one more time with me.”

It wasn’t like you had a choice, but did it matter? One nod from him was all it took before the orchestra fumbled back to their spots and a new song played, Ode of Moonlight Lovers, and the Crown Prince was guiding you back to where he had originally danced with you.

From the corners of your eyes, you caught a glimpse of your parents with their mouths gaped open; your father looking like he was on the verge of passing out. However, you felt nothing but joy, nothing but the adrenaline pumping through your veins as he danced and twirled you in his arms. When the music stopped and you were both panting for air with silly smiles on your face, it dawned on you that you were with the Prince. No, rather, it was only you and the Prince alone. Even in the sea of people whose faces began to blur, he prevailed crystal clear.

You could recognize him anywhere, find him everywhere.

Prince Naoya stepped impossibly closer until your chests touched, hearts beating as one. Cupping your jaw, he was near enough that he swallowed all your shaky breaths with a small, teasing smile like you both shared a secret the entire world could not know.

“Do I still make you nervous?”

Laughing, you nodded. “Yes, Your Highness. I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“It’s beloved now,” he corrected, face inching closer and closer to a point you could count the number of his lower lashes. “And what do lovers do to seal their union?”

“M-Marriage?”

“Close, but this is much better.”

If anyone were to tell you that you would have a love story ripped out straight from a fairytale, you would’ve laughed at their faces. You were no Cinderella, nor were you a goddess of beauty that could’ve possibly caught the Crown Prince’s eye. Yet, his soft lips were on yours, kissing you with as much passion you could only dream of that you cried.

Strong hands guiding the back of your waist, Prince Naoya dipped you lower to the ground – the grand of finish of his dance. He had chosen his bride.

The crowd cheered and rejoiced all around you, making you smile into the kiss. Fisting his collar to bring him closer to yours, your mouth burst into metaphorical fireworks as soon as his tongue mingled with yours for an experimental taste. He was bitter yet sweet; expensive wine resting on his tongue, yet a delicate vanilla sat heavily on his soft lips that molded with yours. It was a taste you could spend forever being addicted on. And you were crying, crying so much your chest ached and the Prince’s cheeks grew damp from yours. You’d dreamt of this for so long, too long now.

Prince Naoya slowly pulled you away, his thumb wiping the tears away from the pads of your cheeks with tenderness in his touch. However, the Prince was not satisfied. The crowd whooped as he leant down to kiss your forehead. “You are mine now, my princess.”

Looping his hands with yours, the Crown Prince led you out of the castle. The crowd parted naturally to make way for the new couple, and you were left staring at his broad back and the tuft of blond hair where you’d soon find out how soft it would be. Sending one last glance to your crying parents, you waved goodbye. You had no idea where the Crown Prince would take you but you were already bunching your dress up, heart completely filled with trust you did not question it. What mattered tonight and for the rest of your life was that it felt right. That it was him – your beloved Prince Naoya Zen’in and soon to be husband – that you’d follow through the moon and back.