#I have way more books than this on my tbr
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12 Books for 2024 (Japanese Edition)
You may have seen my post about the twelve books I read in 2023 (here), and I thought it would be fun to follow it up with a little tbr for 2024! Ideally, I'd like to read more than twelve books in 2024, but twelve is enough for now since I've got some series on this list that I'd like to either make some serious progress in or finish up completely. This list is in no particular order!
ć°çæäșș - æç°æČè¶éŠ: I read ăłăłăăäșșé by Murata a few years back and loved it, and this one has been high up on my tbr for a long time now. With how many people say they're completely traumatized by it, it sounds like the perfect book for me. The only reason I haven't read this yet is because I've hyped it up so much for myself.
çćœćŒ - æç°æČè¶éŠ: A short story collection by Murata? Sign me up ten times over. This one sounds weird and gruesome and right up my alley.
æŹăćźăăăšăăç«ăźè©± - ïżœïżœć·èä»: Another cat book, who can blame me? This was also touted as being perfect for book lovers, and I haven't heard a bad review yet.
ćŸèŒ©ăŻç«ă§ăă - ć€çźæŒ±çł: Keeping with the cat theme, this one I actually have planned in tandem with a challenge I have to read twelve big ass classics throughout the year. Between the sheer size of this and the fact that the text is so densely packed in, this book kinda scares me. I'm planning to read it in December of next year so that I have as much time as possible to prepare haha.
äžçăăç«ăæ¶ăăăȘă - ć·æć
æ°: Last cat book, I promise, but I had to keep them all together (it's actually not about cats, though). I've had this one for a long time and just picked it up on a whim. I've heard a bit of mixed reviews, but the premise sounds interesting enough, and it seems to be pretty popular.
ć棫ăźæăăæ°ćŒ - ć°ć·æŽć: This was one of the first books I bought in Japanese, so it's high time that I get it off my tbr. I've seen so many people love this, in and out of the language learning community. This author also has a bunch of other popular works, so I'd really like to jump into her books and experience the hype for myself.
ćçœ â æčăăȘă: I've seen a bit of buzz about this book in the language learning community, but what really convinced me on it was seeing people outside of language learners also enjoying it. It sounds dark and mildly depressing, and I'm hoping that it'll have some interesting commentary as well.
çŹăè - æçŽćł°: Somehow, I haven't read any queer literary fiction in Japanese yet, despite it being my favorite genre, so I'm so excited to jump into this one. For the life of me I can't remember where I heard about this, but I think it'll be one of my first reads in 2024.
ăă„ă©ă©ă©ïŒïŒ- æç°èŻæ: I used to be obsessed with the anime adaptation in middle school but never revisited the series out of fear that it wouldn't stand the test of time. After seeing a fellow language learner gush about the series, I decided to give it a shot, managed to find it at a local used bookstore, and snatched up the first volume. Don't let me down, nostalgia!
æăăăćœŒ - ćȘèŻăă: This is the second book in the çŸăăćœŒ series, and even though I'd like to read the third one next year as well, I'm just combining them. Seeing this series next to series like No. 6 and ăăăźæ
I'm really grateful to have a trilogy on my tbr haha.
No. 6 - ăăăźăă€ă: Saying that I would like to finish this series next year is a bit of a stretch, seeing as I have eight of ten volumes left, but I'd like to put a serious dent in it to be sure.
ăăăźæ
- æéšæČąæ”äž: This series is more of a read as I please type series for me, since there's not really any overarching plot. I'm also not racing to make progress, since there are over twenty volumes (and still going). I'm savoring this series and I'm okay with that.
#I have way more books than this on my tbr#and this doesn't even touch on manga#but its a start#these actually are ordered but less in priority order and more in similar books together#even if im the only one who knows what those similarities are#langblr#studyblr#booklr#bookblr#language learning#studyspo#polyglot#studying#æ„æŹèȘ#benkyou posting
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Unexpected horror unlocked: folks keep asking me to recommend books, often by tying them back to my own book in some way. I am now forced to to contend with queer historical maritime folktales being rather niche, alongside the fact that anytime someone asks me what books I have read recently my immediate response is "I have never seen a book in my life, what the fuck is a book"
#in my life#laughing at myself honestly#I mean this should not be so hard#and yet#I can think of quite a few queer historicals#and there are definitely lots of queer riffs on folktales#but I'm struggling to come up with books that are both#especially since I have been doing way more writing than reading the past few years#I have a few that sound really cool on my TBR that I'm looking forward to!
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Reading List 2023-2024 đ
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
The Song or Achilles - Madeline Miller
The Myth of the Wrong Body - Miquel Missé
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Remainder - Tom McCarthy
If We Were Villains - M. L. Rio
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
Bones and All - Camille DeAngelis
The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
Beyond Good and Evil - Friedrich Nietzsche
Diaries - Franz Kafka
Frankenstein - Mary Shelly
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Tales - H. P. Lovecraft
The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri
1984 - George Orwell
The Iliad and The Odyssey - Homer
Unnatural Causes - Dr Richard Shepherd
Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes - Eric LaRocca
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
The Trial of the Templars - Malcolm Barber
Foucault's Pendulum - Umberto Eco
Demian - Hermann Hesse
Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
The Atlas Six - Olivie Blake
Giovanni's Room - James Baldwin
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reids
Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo
Vita Nostra - Maryna & Serhiy Dyachenko
Pageboy: A Memoir - Elliot Page
Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut
The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodr Dostoevsky
(updated: 03/01/24)
#doing this for my own amusement more so than anything else#just thought it'd be fun to put it all down somewhere and periodically cross off whenever i finish another one#i want to see how far i get before the year is over#although going back to studies fall time is putting a serious hamper on things because now#time is spent reading cases or watching lectures or doing assessments instead...#technically the secret history was started last year but if i remember correctly i finished it this year#so thought I'd put it there for the sake of it#some of these are rereads too like gatsby or dorian gray#i'm debating whether or not to add 120 Days of Sodom by Maquis de Sade on here ...#a coworker suggested it to me but with the forewarning it's probably the most messed up piece of literature I'll ever come across#watch this list probably have more books added to it#no particular order to this list just the way books are stacked on the shelf so expect the currently reading to not go numerically#literature#reading#tbr list
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do you have any good shakespeare retelling book recs?
what a beautiful time to ask this, says guy who has left this ask collecting cobwebs in his inbox for months! because guess who has two thumbs and just finished queen goneril by erin shields! WHAT a fucking play, holy SHIT, this is some of the best characterization of the lear sisters that i've ever read and the exploration of womanhood as filtered through class + race + shitty families + political maneuvering is so so so good. also the things shields does with the og playtext... chef's fucking KISS
anyway, recency bias aside, i've been meaning to make a post about my favorite shakespeare retellings for a while, and i think i never actually did it because i wanted to make a lear retelling ranking list and then i never read some of the ones on my TBR. so whatever. the learlist will happen someday. here are my favorites in general. (here is my goodreads shelf for the retellings i've read, good and bad, and here is the shelf for the ones i have yet to read.)
in no particular order:
a thousand acres by jane smiley: outsold. epitome of what makes an effective retelling--a book that clearly has something to say about and to the original text, but that also isn't afraid to diverge, to exclude here and zoom in there. ungraciously, this is "lear on a farm" and it starts a little slow, but holy fucking shit, i can't do justice in a paragraph to the way this book unraveled me. one of the best books of all time mayhaps. also, introduced the edmund character by describing his ass. 10/10
the last true poets of the sea by julia drake: i don't read that much YA anymore but jesus fucking christ. books tailored for me specifically. twelfth night retelling about siblings + mental illness + being bisexual + love triangles that actually make sense (emotions are confusing!) instead of being contrived + beautiful description + excellent dialogue + THE MENTAL ILLNESS. books that made me start crying in zoom class in 2020
rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead by tom stoppard: kind of a cop-out answer because we all know this one. but that does not detract from how good it is. this is one of those plays, at least for me, that makes me think, "ohhhhhh, THIS is what theater can do. this is using its medium to the absolute utmost." it is so clever and it makes me want to cry. i think about "i don't know. it's the same sky" more often than i can say
american moor by keith hamilton cobb: not exactly a retelling, but a one-man play about a Black man auditioning for the lead role in Othello, tangling as he does with his relationship with shakespeare's work and cultural dominance. suuuuuch a good fucking play even beyond the analysis of othello (which is excellent); the language is so fucking incredible. everyone who likes shakespeare should read this.
teenage dick by mike lew: modern teenage richard iii; this one's more reimagining than retelling, because it diverges pretty sharply from the plot of richard iii, but god, it's so fucking fun. and upsetting! really upsetting also.
foul is fair by hannah capin: i will be so real. i read this in high school and some of the YA books i've revisited since did not hold up for me. so idk if i can tell you this is "good" with my full chest. but the pitch is "lady macbeth gets sexually assaulted at a party and decides to fucking kill the boys who did it" and i stayed up until like 1am to finish it because it was such a vicious gleaming wild ride
the stars undying by emery robin: does this count? hard to say, because it's just as much a retelling of roman history than shakespeare's antony and cleopatra (honestly, more, since it focuses on the era where caesar and cleopatra were lovers, which is before shakespeare's play). but i'm counting it anyway because it's bisexual space opera cleopatra and it's the best book i've read so far in 2024 and it's making me crazy and i'm writing a thesis on it < genuinely
peerless by jihae park: macbeth, but college applications, featuring asian macbeths (they're twin sisters >:3) who think their classmate has taken their place in their dream school because of affirmative action/DEI. this play is absolutely VICIOUS. it's macbeth x heathers. think it mirrors macbeth in faltering a little in its final stretch, but it still fucks hard
the wednesday wars by gary d. schmidt: okay, not a retelling; this is about a preteen boy in the 60s. but it's one of the best most genuine and heartwarming books i've ever read and it manages to be hilarious while also foregoing cheap slapstick punching-low humor for a hell of a lot of warmth and passion. and the main character interacts with shakespeare a lot as a running theme so i can justify putting it on this list. #evangelizing
of course, i would be remiss not to mention that @suits-of-woe / @mjulianwrites has written the best take on Two Gentlemen of Verona to ever exist, and i mean that quite seriously. unfortunately it hasn't been published yet so we'll all just have to prayer-circle about it. i would also be remiss not to take the opportunity to. uh. coughs. do a bit of casual self-promo. if you 1. have ocd 2. have gender or 3. think about malvolio a lot. boy do i have the novella for you
will definitely add to this when i read more retellings; feel free to drop recs in the tags/replies/reblogs/my askbox!
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will you please give us examples of resources to look at if we want to learn more about the concept of gender and maybe even transness in Medieval Europe? thanks!
whooooo boy right, there's a lot! I wanna start this by saying that I am very much not an expert, and I only have access to stuff I can find for free and the handful of books I can afford to buy second hand. Most of my research has been around gender as it relates to transness and GNC people. I am absolutely missing stuff, or have forgotten stuff, or simply lack the know-how to find stuff.
There's a few bits I've got on a TBR but haven't read yet - some I've included and some I haven't, depending on the source and how established it is.
Also: this is medieval Europe. The way pronouns are used to describe people don't really align with modern views of sex and gender. Also be aware of old-fashioned language use (for example, some texts talk about "hermaphrodites"). Remember that the way we talk about gender and trans identities is far different to how we even spoke about it 20 years ago.
So with that out of the way... I am chucking this under a read more, because it's long:
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GENDER
Medieval ideas around gender were different to how we now think about it. The Hippocratic view of gender saw gender as a sort of wet/dry, cold/hot spectrum upon which men were at one end and women the other (and in the middle were intersex people). The male body was seen as hot and dry, and the female as cold and wet. The cold, wetness is what made women try to seek out heat from guys. A lot comes down to humors rather than genitals - if you're hot and dry, that innately means you grow a penis, because the heat sorta forces it out. So the marker is that penis = man, but you only have that penis in the first place because of your hot, dry humor.
Some people believed the vagina was an inverted penis - as in, the penis turned outside in. Some schools of thought believed that both men and women produced "seed", and that both were needed for conception. These thoughts and ideas shifted around a lot.
The Hippocratic view shifted towards Aristotelian ideas around the 12th Century, where the male/female divide was a lot stronger. There were also surgeons throughout all these periods who sought to "correct" intersex genitalia with surgery (how little things change).
This podcast (I've linked to a transcript, because I have more time to read than listen to things) with Dr Eleanor Janega is super interesting. In fact, I'd recommend reading her whole blog, which is fascinating. She also has a book out (but I've not read it so I can't give a yay or nay on that one)
The Meanings of Sex Difference in the Middle Ages by Joan Cadden seems to be a good source on this, but I've not read it so I can't vouch for it 100%.
I've listed below some real people who could fit into our modern interpretation of transness, and the fact that all of these people were only "outed" when arrested or at their death makes me think that there were probably a lot more people at the time who would also fit into this category. It does feel (to me, a layman) that you could rock up in a new town and go "hello I'm Jeff the Man" and people would just accept that.
It's also important to note that the majority of sources I've found are about people we could define as trans men (FTM). I've only found one person who could be described as a trans woman. If anyone out there has more sources for trans women, I'd love to hear them - specifically in medieval Europe/England.
There's also a big discussion to be had around the idea of women dressing as men to achieve a goal. People love getting into arguments about it. My general rule is that if someone lived as X gender, and was forcibly outed against their will or at death, then I feel we can more safely assume that their experience maps more closely onto a trans narrative than it does one of a woman taking on the "disguise" of a man.
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TRANS & GNC ACADEMIA
Here's some of the sources I've been using that examine medievalism through a trans or trans-adjacent lens.
Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography, Alicia Spencer-Hall & Blake Gutt - a deep dive/collection of essays about medieval religious figures/saints through a trans lens, specifically about cross-dressing figures. Really fascinating, and available on open access.
How to be a Man, Though Female: Changing Sex in Medieval Romance, Angela Jane Weisl - goes into detail about medieval texts in which characters change their sex.
Transgender Genealogy in Tristan de Nanteuil, Blake Gutt - trans theory in the story Tristan de Nanteuil.
Trans Historical: Gender Plurality before the Modern, edited by Greta LaFleur, Masha Raskolnikov & Anna KĆosowska - A great big examination into trans history/gender. I desperately want this book.
Clothes Make the Man, Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe, Valerie R. Hotchkiss (book, no online source available) - Another look into women dressing as men and gender inversion.
The Shape of Sex, Leah DeVun (book) - A history of nonbinary sex, 200 - 1400BC. Not read this one yet but it's on my TBR.
In fact, I'd recommend all of Leah DeVun's work, which I'm currently making my way through. I'm currently reading Mapping the Borders of Sex.
The Third Gender and Aelfric's Lives of Saints, Rhonda L. McDaniel - An examination into the idea of a "third gender" in monastic life based around chastity and spiritualism
Erecting Sex: Hermaphrodites and the Medieval Science of Surgery, Leah DeVun - an essay about "corrective" surgery on intersex individuals in the 13th/14th centuries. (I've not fully read this one yet but the topic is relevant)
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TRANS FIGURES
Joseph/Hildegund (died 1188) - A monk who, upon his death, was discovered to have a vagina/breasts.
Eleanor Rykener (1394) - A (likely) trans sex worker arrested in 1394 (and another source that isn't wiki)
Katherina Hetzeldorfer (killed 1477) - An early record of a "woman" being executed for female sodomy. Katherina dressed and presented as a man, and some scholars read them as a trans man.
Marinos/Marina the Monk (5th Cent) - A monk who was born a woman and lived as a man in a monastery. Marinos was accused of getting a local innkeeper's daughter pregnant. Their "true sex" was discovered upon their death.
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ROMANCES* & GENDER
If you're interested in the idea of gender presentation and trans-adjacent stories, I very much recommend taking a look at some contemporary sources. I've tried to take a sort of neutral approach to pronouns for these descriptions, but it's hard to marry the medieval and modern ideas of sex and gender! The titles are all links.
*Romances here means Chivalric Romances: prose/verse narratives about chivalry, often with fantastic elements. Not, like, falling in love Romances.
Le Roman de Silence (13th Cent) - in order to ensure inheritance, a couple raise their daughter as a boy. The baby is called Silence/Silentius/Silentia. The poem features the forces of Nature and Nurture, who argue about Silence's "true" gender - Nature claims they're a girl, and Nurture claims they're a boy. Silence has a variety of adventures, largely referred to in the text as a man with he/him pronouns, and at the end their "true gender" is discovered and, as a woman, they marry the king.
Yde et Olive (15th Cent) - to avoid being married to their own father, Yde, a woman, disguises themselves as a man and becomes a knight. They end up in Rome, where the king marries them to their daughter, Olive. After a couple of weeks, Yde tells Olive about their "true gender", but the conversation is overheard. The King demands Yde bathe with him to prove they are a man. An angel intervenes and transforms Yde's body into that of a man.
Iphis and Ianthe (Greek/Roman myth, but also in Ovid's Metamorphois, which first came to England in the 15th Cent) - Telethusa is due to give birth, but her husband tells her that if the baby is a girl he'll have it killed. When she gives birth to a girl, she disguises the baby as a boy. Eventually, Iphis is engaged to Ianthe. (Incidentally, this is also a really early example of same-sex romance, as Iphis struggles with their love for Ianthe "as a woman"). Before the wedding, Iphis and Telethusa pray at the temple of Isis, who transforms Iphis into a man.
Tristan de Nanteuil (11th/12th Cent) - from the Chanson de geste, after his alleged death, Tristan's wife, Blanchandin/e, disguises themselves as a Knight. Clarinde, a sultan's daughter, falls in love with them. Blanchandin manages to hide their "true sex", but when Clarinde demands they bathe with her to prove they are a man they flee into the woods. There, they meet an angel who asks if they want to be transformed into a man. Blanchandin accepts and he is turned into a man for the rest of the poem. (Incidentally the angel gives him a giant cock. Yes, the text specifies this).
Le Livre de la mutation de fortune (1403) - written in the first person by Christine de Pizan, the poem describes how the narrator is transformed by Fortune into a man after the death of their husband during a storm at sea. They maintain that 13 years after the event, they are still living as a man. (They also mention Tiresias, a Greek mythological figure who was a man transformed into a woman for seven years).
Okay, for now - that's about all I can think of. Happy reading!
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I am so so in love with your writing- I genuinely forgot how much I prefer tumblr drabbles to published books sometimes because beautiful prose and deep emotion is a hill I will die on and you do it so beautifully!!
Just wanted to ask on your opinion with Logan being a little gentleman somewhere deep down (I mean he was raised in the 1800s)
Like, he curses and drinks and smokes like a sailor - but he'd still open a door for a lady or defend her against assholes, even if he'd spend the rest of the night trying to scare her off and hide that little streak of good manners
It's always swirled in my head but I just wondered if I'm the only one or if at least it's folie a deux âĄâĄ
I have been grinning over this ask, thank you so much!! same - my physical tbr has been piling up because Iâve been reading so much fic, and itâs so amazing to read this in reference to something I wrote. Thank you so so much đ„șđ
and anon, your mind!!! I LOVE this idea, there are definitely such gentlemanly moments about him - and it being something that connects him to when he was born is so sweet. like yes heâs might be a little short/grumpy, but the second someone is rude to you heâs there with a glare and a growled out âwatch it, bub.â
I wrote just a little something with your ideas, because you already nailed so many perfect examples - (like trying to scare her off after, thatâs so perfect! I would love to hear any more thoughts you have about this!) (and I love you use of folie a deux for this đ)
It takes you a little while to notice the small things.
How he keeps you close to the shops, when you walk together into town. Keeping himself between you and the busy streets. That second of hesitation when he beats you to the door, only to yank it open - step aside to let you pass through first.
Itâs like fitting together pieces of a puzzle, without the reference of the final image. Little moments, clicking into place.
It happens again, when you get into it at one of the stores.
The shopkeeper thinking he can push you around - make an extra buck - not knowing you're just as up-to-date on the hardware as he is. It takes no more than the change in your voice for Logan to be there. A guard dog at your shoulder, daring the man to try to hustle you again.
It leaves you sweet. Sideways glances thrown his way, as you head back to the Mansion. Your paper bag tucked under his arm - the way his eyes are so quick to slide from yours when you tell him, "thank you", muscles tensing beneath the hand that brushes his shoulder.
It slips from him at your touch, rumbled out between the sharp set of his teeth and brow.
"It was nothing. Don't mention it, sweetheart.â
A shift - the collar of his leather jacket turning up against the wind - blocking the lower half of his face from view. Still keeping you tucked to the side, where it's safe.
And you think you soften, a little further.
I am going to be thinking about this all week! Thank you, again! đ
#heâs smiling behind that collar btw đ#this was so cute! thank you!#logan howlett headcanon#anons#eupheme answers
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09|10|2024
My ability to stay focused still sucks, but it was better than yesterday. The chapter I worked on today was definitely a bit clearer than the previous so that helped. I need to implement more breaks during my study hours in order to actually be productive, so I'll figure out a way to do that in the next few days.
productivity list:
finished reading and annotating the first section of the book I am studying
read and annotated the first chapter of the second section of the book (the first half of this section is focusing on the military aspects and somehow I am finding them much easier to understand the the institutional stuff I have been studying so far, the second half is focusing on economy instead, and I am in fear)
duolingo
reorganized my tbr shelf
continued working on the sweater I am crocheting for my mom
#studyblr#studyinspo#uniblr#university#journaling#journal#productivity#studying#student life#knife gang#the---hermit#mine
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Boyfriend
summary: pranking Harry with the âcalling your husband boyfriendâ trend
warnings: none? light spanking, use of brat
pairing: husband!arry x wife!reader
âââââ ËïœĄâàšà§Ëâ ËïœĄâ ââââââ ËïœĄâàšà§Ëâ ËïœĄâ ââââââ ËïœĄâ
It was late into the afternoon
You were sprawled on the couch bundled up in your favorite sage blanket with the TV playing on low volume as background noise
You were scrolling mindlessly on TikTok when you came across a video of a women calling her husband boyfriend right in front of him and getting the funniest reaction, you were dying to do this to Harry and what better timing then to do it now that heâs been more at home since taking a mild break from touring and going to the studio here and there when he feels like it
You knew he was in the home library catching up on his tbr stack that you collecting for him whilst he was touring
It was a thing you did for one another
Grabbing books or nicknacks that you knew the other would enjoy
Earlier you asked if he was feeling hungry for anything and you both agreed on ordering in so you made your way towards the room he was in, your idea was to order food in front of him but in actually youâre just going to be on a fake call with the camera facing him
âBaby!â You called out as you entered âYes mâloveâ he hummed grabbing his bookmark and placing the book on the side wooden table that was next to him
âDid you want to get Chinese food for dinner tonight?â He smiled and nodded âYeah that sounds great, did you want me to called them?â shaking your head you pulled out your phone from your pocket âIll do it you just continuing readingâ you smiled widely and plopped down next to him on the small brown crouch with pink flowers printed all around it, you had picked it out together when you passed by a garage sale in your neighborhood
He looked at you suspiciously as he knew you didnât like making phone calls when it comes to ordering or phone calls in general since it freaked you out but this time he just decide to brush this off and picked up his book
In the middle of your fake order thatâs when the prank began
âYes, and my boyfriend would like to get the same thing except with fried rice for the second sideâ
Harry paused for a minute, not quite sure he heard you correctly but as he slowly started to register what you had said his eyebrow rose, his jaw was clench and he had a smirk rising up on his face
What was going through his head, you didnât know, but were you excited to see how this was going to play out? oh defiantly
âOkay perfect, thank you!â You âendedâ the call and founded Harry starring blankly at you
âYes?â You smiled and giggled âBoyfriend huh?â He had this dark look casted over his eyes that made you laugh even more âOh this is funny to youâ you covered your mouth as you smiled âI did nothing wrongâ he hummed and nodded before placing his book back down and wrapping his hands tightly around your ankles pulling you right to him, it was a small couch so you were dragged immediately to him
You screamed out laughing as he hovered above you, pushing down your arms to your side as he trapped your legs between his thighs to stop you from ever kicking
He flipped you around and you immediately screamed again âNo Harry Iâm sorry!â he ignored your pleases and continued, roughly he smacked your ass, part of you was happy you had clothes on so the impact didnât hurt as much but at the same time this man is stronger than you
âYouâre a bratâ he mumbled sitting back down âIt was funny admit itâ you crawled onto his lap and positions his face to look at you, he smiled and rolled his eyes, giving you a soft peck
âIâm your husband, understand? Have been for four years, not some fucking boyfriend anymoreâ he nuzzled his head towards your neck lightly pressing kisses âMm definitely canât post thisâ his head perked up âPost what?â you immediately slid off his lap and ran out of the room
âNothing!â
a/n: wasnât feeling it half way but enjoy! also Iâm taking request if anyone wants to suggest anything :)
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#hshq#married au#prank#x reader#harry styles imagine#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfiction
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reading update: september 2024
I'm turning in the reading roundup a little later than usual, but booooy not for lack of enthusiasm! September was such an interesting month for books, not least of all because you'll notice that things take a spooky turn towards the end of the month. in the name of whimsy I decided that October would be the perfect time to go on a themed reading kick and read through everything vaguely spooky, scary, or horror-related on my TBR, and then I thought, hey, why wait? Halloween is a state of mind, and I want to get spooked.
(have I been spooked yet? well... eh. but there's still time!)
my point being, if you want some creepy recs, hang tight because the October reading roundup is going to be great for you. in the meantime, here's what I read in September:
My Nemesis (Charmaine Craig, 2023) - cannot recommend this brief novel enough if you like very stylized prose about very insufferable people. Craig's protagonist is a memoirist who narrates her tale of woe exactly like she's writing a personal essay that's going to do numbers on twitter, intimate from a detached and analytical distance and giving the strong impression of a person who's made a living being intensely self-obsessed and can't quite manage to turn it off. it's a fascinating approach to a story about an emotionally overwhelming friendship destroying two marriages and ending in a woman's death, all without any actual adultery ever occurring. the narrator is consciously self-conscious, unreliable in the subtle and shifty way of someone trying to take exactly enough culpability to avoid being assigned more. it's a heavily interior novel, but Craig managed to keep me gasping with surprise here and there - the stomach-twisting reveal of why the narrator is actually telling her story, for one, as well as the revelation of the work within the novel that shares its name. if you like a tightly crafted character exercise, you're going to eat this up.
Raiders of the Lost Heart (Jo Segura, 2023) - this was the romance novel picked out via poll over on my patreon for September, and if I may be honest I was NOT excited! to my mind it was the dud of the group, the one amongst the four possibilities that I was most dreading. the garish cover, improbable plot summary, and blatant Indiana Jones of it all (the male love interest is literally named Ford) was a tremendous turn off, and you know what? I was wrong for that. Raiders ended up being one of the better romance novels I've read this year, and not JUST because I've been reading an endless parade of stinkers. the characters are largely free of manufactured drama and are instead believably and sympathetically rendered, with the female lead Corrie being a particular knockout; I would love to be her friend. the plot isn't nearly as cartoonish as the synopsis on the back of the book would have you believe, or at least most of it isn't; the silliness doesn't arrive until almost the very end, when Segura decides she needs some action movie stakes in here ASAP. and while the prose wasn't totally free of the genre's worst bullshit (stop reminding me that Ford's eyes are emerald, I beg), it was for the most part refreshingly no-nonsense. I wasn't even a chapter into this book when I found myself realizing I might really like it, and as of right now it's looking to claim the title of my favorite romance of 2024 in a landslide victory. having said that someone should be in thought crime prison for titling the sequel "Temple of Swoon."
Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 11 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Taylor Engel, 2022) - man you guys Dungeon Meshi is so fucking good. what the fuck. what the hell. it's so genuinely insane that Kui is still able to weave in elements of humor that feel so organic and natural to the characters at this absolutely dire point of the game, when all of my faves are actively in so much danger - largely FROM EACH OTHER - that I'm eating my fingers. christ. some of my students who are in an LGBT book club did Legends and Lattes last month and I just kept wanting to ask if anyone had read Dungeon Meshi for, you know, a very D&D-flavored story that's actually intensely interested in dissecting the tropes of the genre alongside race and class and xenophobia and the social rules of an adventurer heavy world but god. I couldn't. because it's not gay. like Senshi I just want to nourish the youngsters but I can't because it's not gay. please everyone for the love of god just read Dungeon Meshi.
The Most (Jessica Anthony, 2024) - I'm a simple man, and I added this tiny novel to my TBR based on a blurb that really gave me nothing but "a 60s housewife gets in the apartment complex's pool and refuses to get out and it freaks her husband right out." god forbid women do anything, right? anyway, at risk of showing my whole ass I think this is exactly the kind of "disaffected adultery and divorce" book that a lot of tumblr users claim to hate, and I fucking loved it. Anthony is a brilliantly sharp writer who paces her microcosmic drama perfectly, revealing everything at just the right moment like a practiced tour guide showing us around the shadowy corners of an aggressively ordinary marriage. I love adultery and I think this book in particular should be taught in writing courses. sue me.
Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir (Akwaeke Emezi, 2021) - I think this year I've reread more books than I have any other year of my adult life, and I'm so glad that I took time to revisit Emezi's memoir. it's genuinely like nothing else I've ever read, one of the boldest and bravest things I've ever read. Emezi's account of godhood, of coming to understand themself as a deity trapped in flesh, is absolutely unwavering, completely grounded in their certainty of their truth and proceeding from there without ever worrying about persuading others to believe them. Emezi is a storyteller's storyteller, and their story doesn't need anyone's approval. but while it can be challenging, I wouldn't call the book confrontational. quite the opposite; in many places it's achingly vulnerable, as Emezi guides you through an unabashed tour of the very worst of their heartbreak, trauma, and alienation, and the times they've nearly succeeded in taking their own life. but god, please don't think this memoir is unrelenting misery. Emezi also speaks so, SO powerfully of opulence, of love, of the dedication to their artistry ad unabashed acknowledgement that they are a peerless talent. Emezi talks about magic of writing in a way that makes me feel like I'm being engulfed in golden-white flames; they make me want to transform myself into the artist I want to be. once again: I am an Emezi stan first and a person second forever.
The Beginning and End of Rape: Confronting Sexual Violence in Native America (Sarah Deer, 2015) - listen, I'll be straight up with you: unless you're exorbitantly interested in rape law, alternatives to carceral "justice," and legalese, this is going to be a very dry read, and there are not enough narrative segments to make up for that. for my money, Deer provides a thorough overview of the difficulties faced by American tribal nations in exercising legal power to prosecute and punish cases of sexual violence, despite the staggering levels of violence experienced by women in many Native communities. I really admired the intensely tempered view that Deer (a member of the Mvskokoe nation) brings to her work, discussing the history of Native approaches to sexual violence without pretending precolonial North America was a feminist utopia and offering thoughtful criticism of proposed substitutions to imprisonment. while the rape laws of any one of the 574 federally recognized tribes in the occupied lands of the United States could be a book on its own and Deer is constrained by the need to cover as much territory as she can in the broadest strokes possible, this is a solid primer to an ongoing social, spiritual, and legal issue that too rarely receives attention outside of Native communities.
Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes (Erica LaRocca, 2022) - straight up I was only trying to read Things Have Gotten worse, LaRocca's somewhat infamous story of a lesbian relationship that goes extremely wrong extremely fast, but the only copy available through my library system came with two more of his short stories (the aforementioned Other Misfortunes). I'm going to save time on the two extra stories: one is an incomprehensible exercise in religious trauma and I did not like it, and the other one was silly because I, personally, simply would not get so trapped in a sense of social obligation that I let my neighbor do stupid riddles to be until I was in a guillotine. rip to that guy but I'm different. anyway, back to the star of the show. I made the mistake of browsing some other people's thoughts on Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and encountered a truly dizzying number of people whose takeaway seems to be that it's bad not for any stylistic reason but because it depicts two lesbians being in a relationship that's deranged and unhealthy, to which I say you should probably go watch Stephen Universe or something instead of looking for #goodrep in the horror short stories. christ. for my money, Things Have Gotten Worse is messy in the most delicious way, absolutely bonkers from start to finish. escalates pretty much instantly and refuses to let up for truly even a second. cannot believe the predatory mommy dom turns out to be the reasonable one in this dynamic, that one threw me for a loop. it's not incredible but god was I entertained.
Fledgling (Octavia E. Butler, 2005) - another reread, revisiting some of my favorite little freak vampires for the spooky season! although, honestly, the most spooky scary thing about Butler's vampires is probably that vampires look like an Aryan cult and some of them are turbo racist while the other ones insist that it's totally 100% impossible for vampires to be racist and the fact that this gets quite a lot of people killed, something that I'm sure is just a weird coincidence and not any kind of commentary that Butler was making on anything at all. what else is there to say? this is one of Butler's most elaborate explorations of inverted power dynamics, dropping codependent symbiotic sexy vampire polycule cults smack in the middle of the 21st century United States instead of on an alien planet or an apocalyptic wasteland just to really drive home how crazy this shit it. and it's delicious! I love it! what a deliciously different interpretation of vampirism. imagine the utopia we'd be living in if this was the vampire novel that had gotten big in 2005 instead of Twilight.
The Low, Low Woods (Carmen Maria Machado, Dani, and Tamra Bonvillain, 2020) - first I remembered that there are horror comics that I can include in my Octoberish reading, and then I remembered that creepy queen Carmen Maria Machado has published one with DC Comics' Black Label. The Low, Low Woods follows dirtbag teen lesbians Octavia and El in the burnt out coal mining town of Shudder to Think, a town where everyone knows that something's not quite right but no one can seem to leave. the story begins with El and Octavia waking up in a movie theater with no memory of a movie, realizing that they've lost time. the ensuing investigation takes them deep into the town's troubled history, and forces them to realize it's not just the supernatural preying on the town. I love creepy Appalachia and would definitely recommend this for any Old Gods of Appalachia fans, and I will say that so far this is the only one of the spooky reads to really get under my skin and give me a full-body shiver due to the sheer overwhelming awfulness of the implications Machado raises with the revelations in her story. I'm not usually one for trigger warnings in my little roundups, but I cannot emphasize enough that if you have a hard time reading about sexual violence, you'll probably want to skip this one.
The Icarus Girl (Helen Oyeyemi, 2005) - I've been meaning to get into Oyeyemi's large body of work (in part because Akwaeke Emezi speaks quite highly of her) and where better to start than with her debut novel? and why not now, since it was tagged as horror? ultimately I'd concede that the book is creepy but don't know if I'd quite consider myself horrified, and that's completely fine since it's an astonishing piece of prose regardless. writing a believable eight year old narrator of an adult novel is a tricky thing, but Oyeyemi pulls it off beautifully with protagonist Jessamy, effortlessly selling her as an insightful, anxious, and intelligent girl who's still utterly believable as a child. the Icarus Girl revels in the same kind of "powerless child" horror as Gaiman's Ocean at the End of the Lane, following the lonely Jessamy as she initially is befriended and then tormented by a mysterious and powerful little girl that she meets while visiting her mother's family in Nigeria. as her new friends gets increasingly malevolent and out of control, Jess struggles to account for the damage and to be taken seriously by her parents when she tries to explain what's wrong. Oyeyemi apparently wrote this book when she was only a teenager, and if she's been leveling up her craft with each subsequent novel then I have a lot of look forward to.
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Say hello to Triple Sec, out June 4, 2024 from Simon & Schuster! (Art by Petra Braun.)
Itâs queer! Itâs poly! Itâs cocktails!!! Official synopsis below the cut.
A jaded bartender is wooed by a charmingly quirky couple in this fresh and sizzling polyamorous rom-com, set in the exclusive world of high-end cocktail barsâfrom the acclaimed author of the âtender, decadent, and sparklingly funnyâ (Lana Harper, New York Times bestselling author) Chefâs Choice. As a bartender at Terror & Virtue, a swanky New York City cocktail lounge known for its romantic atmosphere and Insta-worthy drinks, Mel has witnessed plenty of disastrous dates. That, coupled with her own romantic life being in shambles, has Mel convinced love doesnât exist. Everything changes when Bebe walks into the bar. Sheâs beautiful, funny, knows her whiskeysâand is happily married to her partner, Kade. Melâs resigned to forget the whole thing, but Bebe makes her a unique offer: since she and Kade have an open marriage, sheâs interested in taking Mel on a date. What starts as a fun romp turns into a burgeoning relationship, and soon Mel is trying all sorts of things sheâd been avoiding, from grand romantic gestures to steamy exploits. Mel even gets the self-confidence to enter a cocktail competition that would make her dream of opening her own bar a reality. In the chaotic whirl of all these new experiences, Mel realizes there might be a spark between her and Kade, too. As Bebe, Kade, and Mel explore their connections, Mel begins to think that real love might be more expansive than she ever thought possible. With TJ Alexanderâs signature âwitty and insightful voice, complex characters, and full-throated celebration of the joy of queer communityâ (Ava Wilder, author of How to Fake It in Hollywood), Triple Sec is a passionate, thirst-quenching love story that will have you asking for another roundâŠor three.
You know the drill, folks!! I am asking/begging you to please spread the word and help me out. This book is a VERY different kind of romance and I am desperate for it to find its audience. Here are some ways you can help me:
Pre-order. I know, I know, June 4 is forever away but it really is the biggest thing. Pre-ordering is a gift to yourself and to authors who would really like to hit some kind of bestseller list some day. If you donât want to pre-order now, consider putting a note in your calendar to buy it on June 4?
Add the book to your GoodReads or Storygraph TBR.
Share my pinned posts on Instagram or tumblr.
Tell your local bookstore or library (or both!) to stock this book.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Next roundâs on me.
#my books#queer books#queer romance#f/f/nb#polyamory#poly romance#poly rep#tj alexander#romance novels#romcom
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đ€ reading challenge !
my tbr has officially gotten out of control. so hereâs what iâve decided to do about it.
Iâm doing a book buying ban, but with a twist. no new books until iâve read at least one book starting with each letter of the alphabet. this is a potential tbr - ill have to cheat a bit for some letters to make this work - but as a strong mood reader i may end up switching up which books. all that matters is one book per letter.
and as a mood reader, the hope is that i will end up reading even more than just the 26 before I accomplish the challenge đ«Ł
Iâll be using @ haylee.reads âs version of the challenge (over on instagram) so this will also include four bonus categories to round the number up to 30: number in the title, animal in the title, color in the title, and three word title.
and if it goes well, I might do a similar challenge at some point with her book bingo!!
Iâve wanted to do these reading challenges anyway, so i figured it might be a way to make a book buying ban a bit more fun !!
have you ever done any reading challenges?
#find me over on instagram @bookishfreedom for story updates#any recommendations on what to start with?#booklr#books#book#reading#mine#bookish#tbr#tbr list#beat the backlist#reading challenge#book buying ban#book buying ban challenge#abc challenge#abc reading challenge
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The Georgette Heyer Master List
Is it just me, or has Georgette Heyer kind of... gone away? Ten, maybe fifteen years ago, she was a name I'd hear quite often. Especially in the circles of science fiction and fantasy fandom that also overlapped with the avid readership of Jane Austen or Patrick O'Brian, she was often recommended as a sort of Austen methadone. Over at Tor.com, as it was then known, fantasy author Mari Ness did a whole season of reading through Heyer's voluminous back-catalogue. These days, even as romance writingâand especially Regency romance, the subgenre that Heyer arguably createdâhas gained enormous mainstream visibility, and as science fiction and fantasy romance has become its own wildly successful subgenre, Heyer seems to come up less and less. One might have expected the success of Bridgerton, for example, to inspire some film or TV adaptations of her books (it was, after all, the reason the Austen fanfic series Sanditon came back from being cancelled after its first season), but so far nothing.
This might be one of those cases where the answer is contained in the question. The reason fewer people are reading Heyer is that, although she more or less created Regency romance, there are so many people writing within it now that readers looking for something like Jane Austen, but not quite, have a lot of other options on offer. Which makes it easier to notice the problems with Heyer, or simply the ways in which her style has fallen out of fashion. There is no sex in her books (and no queerness, obviously), but there are poisonous sexual moresâall her heroes have had mistresses who are, quite obviously to them and everyone around them, not the sort of woman one marries, while her heroines, even at the moment of declaring their love to their HEA, feel obliged to "resist" any physical display of affection. Her books are rife with chauvinism, antisemitism, and most of all classism (and frankly, I think the only reason racism is absent is that everyone in these books is white), and while this is arguably more realistic than a lot of starry-eyed modern Regency romances, it is also a reflection of Heyer's own prejudices.
Still, I took in all those recommendations a decade or more ago, and while I may be slow I will usually get around to reading something if a lot of people tell me I should. In the last year I've ended up reading a lot of Heyerâmostly stuff I had in my enormous TBR, or found at a used bookstore, or at the local library, so there's not a lot of intentional choice happening here. I'm not here to say that Heyer is an overlooked gem. All those problems noted above are very much present in her writing, and in addition she has some favorite tropes that she goes back to again and againâin a mere twelve books, the plot strand in which one character is kidnapped across the channel to France, while another character pursues them, going deep into the logistics of finding them and catching them up, recurs a surprising number of times. But she's nevertheless a more interesting writer than I think is commonly acknowledged today, more likely to pay attention to the psychology of her characters (and not in the modern, sometimes quite exhausting, therapy-speak way), and more interested in her setting (Heyer also wrote historical fiction, and some of her romances shade into that genre). I dipped into some of Julia Quinn's Bridgerton novels this year as well, and I have to say, beyond the fact that Heyer is just a better writer, it's a bit more palatable to encounter nasty sexual politics in novels written in the 40s and 50s, than to have to accept that the implied threat of sexual violence is but a stepping stone to true love from a writer whose books were published only twenty years ago.
Below are some thoughts on the Heyer books I've read so far. I will add to them when and as I read new ones, though I think I will continue to leave the selection of those books to happenstance.
S-Tier
Cotillion (1953) - This is the first Heyer I ever read, and to an extent it has spoiled me for the rest of her writing by being such a high water mark. Kitty Charing has been informed by her guardian that she will be forced to marry one of his nephews, and instead decides to run off to the city to find her own match, with the help of gadabout Freddy. The two end up first pretending to be engaged, and then trying to throw Kitty in the path of eligible bachelors, while inevitably falling in love themselves. This is a great book first because it's extremely funny. Heyer had a great ear for the absurd slang of the fashionable London set, and gets a lot of mileage out of Kitty's cheerful refusal to let logic or common sense stop her, and Freddy's Regency himbo antics. More importantlyâand rather rarely for Heyer's writingâKitty and Freddy are true equals. They're both a bit silly and a lot sheltered, but also able to rise to the occasion when it's required, and they lock into each other's wavelength early in the novel and never let go. Inasmuch as they change each other, it's only in revealing that they are able to pull off audacious schemes when someone they care about needs them to, and you can imagine the two of them having a long, ridiculous partnership in crime for the rest of their lives.
Sylvester, or the Wicked Uncle (1957) - Informed that Lord Sylvester, who has a bad reputation that is only partly earned, is about to propose marriage to her, Phoebe runs off with her best friend Tom. When the two of them run into trouble on the road, they are rescued by none other than Sylvester, which throws him and Phoebe together for extended periods, with predictable results. This formatâolder, powerful man; younger, sheltered womanâis one that Heyer returns to quite often, but it works better here than in any other of her novels. Sylvester isn't cruel or a rake; he's arrogant and high-handed, though often with some justification (most of his bad reputation comes from his self-absorbed, thoughtless sister-in-law). Phoebe isn't a naif, but an intelligent woman with a hidden career as an author that she's quite devoted to. The two of them develop a compelling friendship long before they fall in love, rooted in the fact that they are often the smartest person in the room, and able to help each other steer a tricky situation towards calm waters. The twist that threatens their relationshipâbefore meeting him, Phoebe wrote a novel in which the villain was a thinly-veiled version of Sylvesterâis highly original, and the novel's final act, in which Sylvester must pursue Phoebe and his kidnapped nephew into France, is one of the most hilarious sequences I've ever read. By the time the two get together, it's obvious that they could only be happy with each other.
Good
False Colors (1963) - Returning from his diplomatic post abroad, Kit Fancot discovers that his twin brother Evelyn has disappeared, right before he was about to propose to Cressida Stavely. Persuaded by his mother to impersonate his twin for one night, Kit quickly finds himself hosting Cressida and a whole raft of other characters in his country home, while trying to keep up the charade and, of course, keep from falling in love with Cressida himself. This is a book that's interesting more for the background than the main romanceâKit and Cressida are quite sweet, but more because they're a point of calm amidst the chaos of all their relatives and friends. But it's that chaosâespecially Kit's mother, an airheaded inveterate gambler whom Kit nevertheless adoresâ that is the real source of the novel's fun. The fact that Kit and Cressida are able to put all the various crises around them to rest is what convinces you that they will be a good couple, but it's not their further adventures that you'd like to follow.
Charity Girl (1970) - While visiting relatives, Ashley Desford encounters Charity Steane, the penniless ward of a family who are mistreating her. When Ashley later finds Charity running away, he convinces her to let him try to find her a respectable situation, and places her with his childhood friend Henrietta Silverdale. In any other novel you'd expect Ashley and Charity to fall in love (and indeed this is what several characters in the novel assumeâwhen they're not assuming something more salacious). Instead, Ashley's efforts to untangle Charity's family situation, get the best of her odious relatives, and find a safe place for her are a method of throwing him in company with Henrietta, whom he has for years insisted is only a friend. It turns out that Ashley and Henrietta, having rebelled against their families' plan to marry them off at a too-young age, have been shame-facedly pretending that they haven't fallen in love for ten years, and it's only by becoming jointly responsible for Charity that they can work their way around this predicament. The stakes aren't particularly high, but the scenario is original enough (especially for Heyer) to make this a worthwhile read.
Interesting
These Old Shades (1926) - Infamous rake Justin Alastair encounters a runaway, LĂ©on, on the streets of Paris and takes him in as his page. It doesn't take long to realize that LĂ©on is actually LĂ©onie, but the untangling of her convoluted family historyâa tale of swapped babies, mistaken identities, and false heirsâis the business of much of the novel, during which, of course, Justin and LĂ©onie also fall in love. The potboiler plot is quite fun, as is LĂ©onie herselfâhaving pretended to be a boy for years, she is at once indifferent to the mores she's expected to adopt as a respectable young lady, and immediately won over by fancy clothes and balls, which allows her to triumph over opponents in both high and low society. But this can't quite get around the problem that Justin is twice LĂ©onie's age, and also a pretty bad person (the character previously appeared in The Black Moth (1921), where he was the villain, and a subplot in These Old Shades even throws Justin into the company a woman he had kidnapped in the previous book). Despite the force of LĂ©onie's argument that she actually wants to be with Justin, this is a book better enjoyed for its rollicking, adventurous middle than its romantic conclusion.
An Infamous Army (1937) - Heyer was simply mad for the Napoleonic wars, and this is one of several books she wrote set in and around them. As aristocrats and officers await the arrival of Napoleon's army in Brussels, Colonel Charles Audley encounters Lady Barbara Childe, a widow with a scandalous reputation. The two feel an instant, powerful attraction, but end up having to navigate Barbara's habit of playing games with her suitors, and Charles's impatience with them, before the battle of Waterloo erupts and forces them both to confront more pressing issues while also realizing the depth of their feelings for each other. It's nice to have a central couple who are older, more experienced people, but An Infamous Army steps away from Charles and Barbara quite often. Sometimes this is quite interestingâthe absurdity of 18th century warfare, with Wellington throwing balls for the who's who gathered in Brussels while everyone debates when to flee the cityâand at other points quite tediousâseveral subplots in which Charles's extended family play forgettable matchmaking games. In the end, however, Heyer's interest is in Waterloo itself, with the novel culminating in an 80-page, blow-by-blow description of the battle. This can sometimes be quite moving, when it captures the sheer extent of the carnage, or the confusion of individual officers. But mostly it's just descriptions of military tactics, which is not what I signed up for when I picked up a Regency romance. By the time Charles and Barbara find their way back to each other, you'll mostly be feeling exhausted rather than overjoyed.
A Civil Contract (1961) - Adam Deveril is called home from the peninsula by the news that his father, a viscount, has died, and that the family finances are in such dire straits that Adam may be forced to sell their ancestral estate. The only solution, Adam is quickly made to realize, is for him to marry rich, to which end he's introduced to Jenny Chawleigh, the daughter of a fantastically rich but boorish merchant. In most books we'd expect Adam and Jenny to fall in love, and it takes a while to realize that this is not going to happen. Adam continues to think wistfully about Julia, the woman he had been attached to before his finances made the idea of proposing to her impossible, and the narrative is at pains to point out that he doesn't feel any attraction towards Jenny. What A Civil Contract is about, instead, is class relations. The complicated push and pull between Adam and Jenny's father Jonathan as they negotiate one's social position, and the other's wealth; the delicate negotiations between Adam and Jenny as she learns to understand the importance of tradition to him, and he realizes that she is actually capable of being a great viscountess if he just trusts her a little. The whole thing is a lot more Edith Wharton than Jane Austen, with some great scenes in which Adam is torn between genuine appreciation of Jonathan's energy and intelligence, and disgust at his determination to tear down everything old and replace it with whatever is newest and most expensive. In the end, however, it's all a bit too bleak, and Heyer doesn't quite have the courage to let us sit with that. She tries to assure us that Adam and Jenny have found a genuine partner in each other, and that this, too, is a form of love, but this is not very convincing. In the hands of another author, A Civil Contract would have been the half-tragedy it actually is.
Meh
The Convenient Marriage (1934) - Intending to propose to the eldest Winwood sister, who is already in love with someone else, the Earl of Rule is persuaded, by her younger sister Horatia, to marry her instead. That's basically the storyâa marriage of convenience for both parties that turns into a romance. But while in other books Heyer has made a meal of this premise, The Convenient Marriage never convinces you of either its lovers being especially suited to each other, or the rather thin obstacles it places in their path. There are some interesting worldbuilding detailsâsome information about how the invitations to Almack's used to work, or about the mechanics and norms of duel-fighting. And towards the end, there are some good scenes in which Horatia has to outsmart a kidnapper, or her brother has to arrange a highway robbery to retrieve a stolen jewel that might destroy her reputation. But ultimately, the fact that this is all in service of a couple who aren't particularly engaging (and whose age differenceâ35 and 17âis hard to get over) makes the whole thing a bit of a slog.
Cousin Kate (1968) - Kate Malvern is at the end of her rope, having been chased off yet another governess position by an employer with wandering hands, when a long-lost aunt invites her to visit her country home. When Kate arrives, she soon realizes that her aunt Minerva plans to pressure her to marry her cousin Torquil, and that there are secrets in the estate and the family that are being kept from her. This is Heyer working in the Gothic mode, complete with an isolated great house, a young woman being manipulated and lied to, and a dreadful family secret. It's reasonably well done for what it is, but there were better authors than Heyer working in the Gothic modeâby 1968 you could have read something like Mary Stewart's The Ivy Tree (1961) or Nine Coaches Waiting (1958), both of which do much more interesting, innovative things with the Gothic form than Heyer is even attempting. Finally, there is the fact that the dark secret being kept from Kate has to do with mental illness, whose handling is as tragic and sensationalized as you might expect from this author and era.
Yikes
Devilâs Cub (1932) - The sequel to These Old Shades, this book centers on Justin and LĂ©onie's son Vidal, who has all of his parents' faults and none of their charms. After killing a man in a duel, he schemes to run off with a silly middle class girl, whom he of course feels no compunction about ruining. When her sister Mary takes her place, Vidal is shocked to realize that he has compromised a "respectable" woman, and tries to convince her to marry him. There are further twists, but none of them can get around the fact that the main character of this book is odious, and that the supposed love story between him and the girl he has kidnapped and ruined is highly unconvincing. Not helping matters is that an older LĂ©onie periodically appears to explain that her son has done nothing wrong and that marrying Mary will obviously be the best thing for him, which frankly feels too much like the voice of the author for comfort.
The Spanish Bride (1940) - Based on the real experiences of Captain Harry Smith and his Spanish war bride Juana, this is another novel deeply rooted in the minutiae of the Napoleonic wars, beginning on the peninsula and culminating, of course, in Waterloo. In itself this might simply be boring, but right off the bat we get a scene in which Harry and other officers stand back while their soldiers, enraged after the bloody siege of Badajoz, murder and rape their way through the town for several days. Harry's marriage to Juana is arranged in the wake of this atrocity as a means of protecting her, despite her being only fourteen years old. The rest of the novel is spent careening between detailed descriptions of various battles, and cutesy interludes between Harry and Juana as they settle into their marriageâHarry often exasperated by Juana's stubbornness and emotional outbursts (I don't know, man; if you didn't want a wife who behaves like a child, maybe you shouldn't have married a child); Juana almost slavishly devoted to him but also prone to jealousy and anxiety. (Harry Smith left copious journals so one assumes his side of the story is fairly realistic; Juana Smith's feelings on the whole matter are, as far as I know, lost to history.) The whole thing is alternately boring and gross.
The Grand Sophy (1950) - Charles Rivenhall is informed that his family will play host to their cousin Sophy, whose diplomat father is being sent abroad. Accustomed to keeping house for her father, Sophy quickly takes over the Rivenhall household, rearranging her cousins' financial and romantic lives while a stunned Charles is at first outraged, and then won over. This is a solid premise, but the execution is appalling. Sophy is a bulldozer who interferes in people's lives not because she cares about them but because she always thinks she knows better, and eventually she comes to feel more like a bully than a savior. That Charles is attracted to these qualities might be taken as a defensive trauma response (or, in the hands of a more open-minded author, a kinky tendency), but at no point did I even begin to believe that Sophy had any romantic interest in him (there are a number of Heyer characters who would make a lot more sense if they were queer, but Sophy, in particular, is so clearly a lesbian that the very idea of her happily married to a man breaks one's brain). Adding insult to injury is a lengthy sequence in which Sophy "defeats" an odious Jewish moneylenderâread, a collection of poisonous antisemitic stereotypes in human formâwhom her cousin has borrowed money from and who, completely unreasonably, expects to be paid back until Sophy threatens him with a gun. I will no doubt ruffle some feather by placing this bookâgenerally held to be one of Heyer's bestâso low, but reading it nearly put me off her for life.Â
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[ vol i | vol ii | vol iii | fic rec fridays ]
hi all! :D I have slowly but steadily been knocking things off of my tbr list, a few classics and a few newer fics, and they've been AMAZING! as per usual I wanted to share before the list gets too long for next time!
as always, please remember to leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed the fic or show support in other ways, and be kind! mind the tags and if you come across something you dislike, please kindly (and quietly) move on.
happy new year and happy reading y'all! <3
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? | @hgejfmw-hgejhsf | T+ | 5k
When the Legendary Balls-Out Bananas White House Trio New Year's Eve Party is interrupted by a security threat, Henry, Pez, Nora, June, and Alex find themselves locked in the White House library for their own protection with nothing but time, a few bottles of champagne, and some lighthearted conversation, until a single question threatens to change everything for Henry.
(+ read their first au fic here ahh!)
muscle memory | @dumbpeachjuice | E | 30k
It's been ten years since Alex was in London to stage a PR friendship with Henry after ruining the royal wedding. It's also been ten years since Alex dropped to his knees in front of Henry in a Kensington Palace kitchen. But now Henry's in the Hamptons for the summer, and who should he bump into? None other than Alex Claremont-Diaz, who happens to be working in New York all summer long.
You Are the Wave I Could Never Tame | bleedingballroomfloor | E | 12k
That should be it. Henry is doing his job; the pool is getting cleaned, and Alex shouldnât think anything more of it. Then why does he feel the slightest bit of disappointment when he walks back to the pool house and Henry isnât there? Or, the pool boy Henry AU that I couldn't stop thinking about until I wrote it.
if evil, why so cute? | @everwitch-magiks | E | 5k
Alexâs cat hates Alex, but loves Henry, the Bookstagram influencer whoâs on vacation in Alexâs quiet seaside town. And while Alex is pretty salty about his grumpy catâs inexplicable affection for a complete stranger, he must admit he can see the appeal; Henry is fucking gorgeous. Itâs why Alex follows him on Instagram in the first place. It's just, Alex had never thought heâd be officially introduced to Henry by his own goddamn cat. Or: Henry takes a two-week vacation to a seaside cabin with the intent to read a lot of books. Instead, he has a lot of sex.
Just like that | @myheartalivewrites | E | 10k
When Henry comes home from a date frustrated by the guyâs lack of expertise, Alex starts having thoughts. And then, because heâs Alex, he sticks his big foot in his even bigger mouth.
(@myheartalivewrites listen I fell down a rabbit hole ok and if I could rec your entire ao3 here I would -- OH WAIT I CAN)
In His Wildest Dreams | @myheartalivewrites | E | 11k
Set in and around the Henry bonus chapter, this is a story about Henry and Alexâs hectic schedules, family appearances etc. pulling them apart, and about what starts to happen between them, in the quiet of night: their sleeping bodies turning to each other, finding their sweet spots and opening up. And Alex and Henry learning a lot about each other in the process
Be Worthy Love, and Love Will Come | @sparklepocalypse | E | 30k
"For Christmas this year, all I would like is a best friend who doesnât mind too much that Iâm a prince. Most of my classmates poke fun because of who I am, or treat me like Iâm too special to be their friend. I want a best friend who knows me as much as my family does and still likes me. I know that you canât wrap a best friend up in a box and put it under the tree, but youâre magic so you know the best way to bring one." (Movieverse canon divergence; Prince Henry, age 8, writes to Father Christmas wishing for a best friend. A few weeks later, he finds one.)
A Picture on Your Corkboard | bleedingballroomfloor | M | 23k
It happens on a random morning in May when Alex, age fourteen, pads into the kitchen to greet his mother and steal a waffle from June's plate and sees a man sitting at their breakfast counter, reading a newspaper, a cup of coffee raised to his lips. Like he belongs. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. June doesn't seem to give the man a second thought. She merely flicks Alex on the forehead and takes back the waffle. Ellen isn't worrying, either. In fact, she's talking to him. Asking what his schedule is like. Making plans for dinner. Alex has never seen this man before in his life.
I want to mark my skin (it is paper thin) | @violetbaudelaire-quagmire | M | 10k
To:Â [email protected] From:Â [email protected] Subj: Tattoo Reference Attached: 1 file (orionsketch.jpg) Hello, Attached youâll find a line art drawing of the constellation Orion. The shoulder blade is the intended location. Best, H.J. Fox [OR: It's a Tattoo Shop AU!]
(Dil)Do It Yourself | @happiness-of-the-pursuit | E | 16k
âListen,â Nora starts, turning her body once more so that sheâs sitting sideways in the chair with her legs thrown across the armrest. âI did the math. Thereâs a 79% chance youâre gonna become a slut to the power of the prostate, and while weâre not dating anymore, itâs my duty as your fellow slutty bisexual to get this party started.â Or, when Nora drags Alex to a holiday dildo workshop, he doesnât expect to find someone to use it with.
just a figure of speech | @congee4lunch | E | 17k
âLike I said: Alphas really donât know how to fuck.â âAnd like I said,â Alex sets down his mug and steps closer to Henry. âI can fuck and I know how to fuck you so well, youâll see stars, baby.â [henry, an omega, hasnât had good sex in a long time. as his alpha roommate and friend, alex can help with that. in a totally platonic bro way, of course]
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saving some for next rec, I'll see you all then! enjoy, and remember to show support if you did! <3
xx
#my fic recs#fic recs#rwrb#red white and royal blue#firstprince#Alex x henry#RWRB fic#red white and royal blue fanfic#firstprince fic
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The HOTD AND MAGNIFICENT CENTURY CHARACTER COMPARISONS ARE NOT PASSING THE VIBE CHECK (in my opinion)
(Mostly talking about the shows. Not delving too much into books because I have not read the books yet. Itâs on my TBR. And I know certain details that happen in the books because of videos that talk about A song of ice and fire universe. And I am not delving too deep into the Ottoman Empire history)
Okay....Wow.
Like....wow. Where do I even begin?
Point 1: A quick one to get it out of the way. Viserys I and Suleiman being similar is the best one in regards to that they are so oblivious when it comes to their family and it goes straight over their heads.
They don't understand why their families can't get along even though it so fucking obvious why, and they had the power to put a stop to the infighting if they did the obvious thing. For Suleiman put a stop to the fratricide law to prevent his sons from being forced into killing each and stop their mothers from plotting against each other to save them. And for Viserys not getting married a second time or abdicated the throne while he was alive and give it to Rhaenyra.
They love their wives to death and when Hurrem and Aemma died Suleiman and Viserys souls died with them. They have complicated relationships with their children; they have obvious favorites that caused conflict within the family. Suleiman with Mehmed and Mihrimah. Viserys with Rhaenyra.
I get this comparison. I accept.
But give my man Suleiman more credit because he was a better leader, commanded respect, and always stood on business on every aspect. While Viserys was a little flaky and kind of wishy-washy especially with politics and governance; despite being a decent enough guy he was not a good ruler. While Suleiman is considered the greatest rulers of all time both in the show and in real life because he was decisive, smart, and ambitious.
In a fight/war Suleiman would have fucking obliterated Viserys (without the use of dragons of course). But if not pitted against each other I think they would have been good enough friends. (though I think they would have secretly thought each other was a little weird).
Point 2: The main ones that burned my biscuits.
Hurrem is more like Rhaenyra and I am willing to die on this hill.
People have the uptmost gall and audacity to say that Hurrem is Alicent Highttower coded.....DID WE WATCH THE SAME SHOWS?
Hurrem is so Targaryen coded. At the very least Martell or a little bit Baratheon coded.
Like people are getting caught up on the ONE aspect of Hurrem's character which is that she is a bad stepmom ( i love her but it is the truth) like Alicent since they are both trying to kill their step children to make way for their own biological children...but Hurrem is more than that. And reducing her to just that is a disservice to the core of her character.
Yes Rhaenyra and Mustafa were robbed of their thrones but they are so different with their values and morals. And their gender plays a huge part in that also.
Mustafa did not have to prove himself to anyone or was questioned of his capability of ruling because he is a man. If history played out in his favor, there would not have been huge shift in history. It would have been more of the same because like I said he is a man. Mustafa is not much of an underdog because he has all of the privileges that Rhaenerya does not have access to.
She is constantly having to prove herself and her worth because she is a woman. She is constantly doubted and her honor is always called into question because she does exactly what every man does.
Rhaenyra is willing to do things (blood and cheese) that honestly I don't think Mustafa would have done. And if they met they would have not liked each other.
Because Rhaenyra probably would have reminded him too much of Hurrem.
Hurrem and Rhaenyra are rebels that dance to the beat of their own drum. They are the ones that broke the mold of what is acceptable for women. They were the first to achieve a level that was thought impossible for a woman.
Rhaenyra is the first woman to be named rightful heir to the Iron Throne and first sole ruling Queen (even though sadly it was for a short time). As a character Rhaenyra was balling the fuck out (as she should!). She was arrogant, was not afraid to put someone in their place, larger than life, and she wanted power. She fought in a literal war! Under the right circumstances she would have been a great ruler. She did what thought was best for her and lived life on her terms. Which is something even real women can barely do.
Hurrem was the first slave to become a legal wife of a Sultan and helped create an entirely new title, Haseki Sultan, which is the chief consort of the emperor. Which is the second most power position for a woman underneath Valide sultan (Mother of the Sultan). Haseki Sultan had immense power and influence of the empire! That is a huge step! She began an entire era called the Sultante of Women! She trailblazed for other women to rise up and gain power. All because she stuck her neck out, stood her ground and refused to be walked all over. Hurrem was all or nothing and did not asked but demanded respect. She dared to reached for more despite the heavy risk. She's fiery, charismatic, brave, intelligent, vicious, altruistic, headstrong, complicated, and plays by her own rules not anyone else's. She fought tooth and nail for she wanted.
Sounds very Targaryen to me. Show version Hurrem even have prophetic dreams and has fire and dragon motifs for christ sake!
Rhaenyra and Hurrem were both betrayed, abandoned, and had to move mountains to get what they want while losing a great deal in the process. They don't follow rules that don't serve them and are unabashedly upfront. These two would have been great friends! Hurrem, Rhaenyra, Laena Velaryon and Daemon would have been the best group on fucking earth. They would probably taken over the world in style.
Alicent would not have liked Hurrem. Maybe would not be so hostile toward Hurrem, but still would not like Hurrem's rule-breaking ways and her confidence.
As the saying goes good girls barely make history.
Point 3: The "good girls" in question
Mahidveran is the one who's soooooo damn Alicent Hightower coded. Like they are pretty much the same except Mahidveran is more outwardly viscous.
This is team "I blindly follow rules that don't serve me then get mad when said rules don't serve me." They allow others to control their lives and understandably they became resentful for it, and rest in their victimhood mentality.
They hide behind other people because they cannot stand on their own two feet. They are so self-righteous and refuse to take accountability for the wrong they have done.
I will give Mahidveran props for standing up for herself and her son to Suleiman from time to time. While Alicent waited until the last possible moment to stand up to her father (which resulted in absolutely noting). And I will give Mahidhveran major points for being a more involved parent and did not raise a rapist, drunk, and pedo.
While Hurrem and Rhaenyra went against the staus quo, Mahidveran and Alicent IS the status quo. If there was no Hurrem, Mahidveran would have been just another Vahide Sultan we would not have known or cared about. Or if Mustafa died before becoming a Sultan she would have been just another concubine pushed to the side because she did not break the mold. Which is understandable because it is dangerous for a woman to act out if she does not have protection or leverage. I understand that not everyone has it in them go against the grain and that's okay. Same for Alicent, if Rhaenyra never existed and Alicent married Viserys and carried on having sons she probably would not made much of a impact because again she complies with the restrictive patriarchal view of femininity and cannot fathom living another way because the risk of societal backlash is too great and scary. And again not everyone is strong enough to not give a fuck what societal expectations.
However, my problem with women/female characters like this is that they do absolutely nothing for the progress of other women and do everything for the progress of men. Even for men who don't deserve it (cough Alicent). They help continue the cycle of men dominating over everyone and maintaining a status quo that keeps women disempowered and treated as property and pawns.
I am not saying Hurrem and Rhaeynera are perfect feminists or perfect women or even perfect people. I am not saying everything they did was for the betterment of women because let's be real it was probably not. But women who take hold of their agency and personhood, shows other women that there are alternative ways to live and you do not have stand for a society or system that mistreatments you. Being selfish is the most radical thing a woman can do, because selfish "wild" women shows the gaping cracks of patriarchy, if more women choose to be themselves and live on their own terms then the system would eventually fall completely apart.
Alicent and Mahidveran would have been great superficial friends. They hang and out exchange niceties. Mahidveran would tell Alicent everything she want to hear because that's the kind of friend Mahidveran is (look at Hattice, Shah and Fatma.) And I totally see Mahidveran trying to worm her way into a marriage alliance between Helaena and Mustafa...Which I wouldn't be mad at cus my sweet baby Helaena deserved someone who wouldn't hurt her and keep her safe.
Thank you for reading my Ted Talk. Sorry if its long and got way to philsophical I might make more posts on this because it is very interesting and obviously I have thoughts on this. I love these shows so much.
#magnificent century#hurrem sultan#mahidevran hatun#mahidevran sultan#hurrem x suleyman#sultan suleyman#sultan suleiman#house of the dragon#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hightower#hotd#game of thrones#fire and blood#king viserys#viserys targaryen
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doing a lil august reading wrap up because apparently i read 13 (!!) books. in chronological order (bolded are those i recommend):
city of stairs by robert jackson bennett: quite the interesting read. i think the character work in this one is a standout, as well as the world building. the good thing is i have no idea where this trilogy is going so it's exciting. the audiobook for the second book arrives in 2 weeks on my shelves on libby so I'll be reading the sequel soon
braiding sweetgrass by robin wall kimmerer: this one took me a whole entire year to read and finish lol. no comment. or maybe one comment: i think i'd have found this book a lot more eye opening if i had read it three years ago so right book wrong time i guess? i do recommend it i just think it didn't impact me as much as i thought it would
the blighted worlds by megan e. o'keefe: this one hit me like a truck!! i was so obsessed. it's a sci-fi space opera with an element of horror and an interesting romance sub-plot. basically everything i love lmao. i really do recommend this book it might actually be my fave of the month
sanctuary by ilona andrews: i have to stay up to date on all things kate daniels-related to this spin off was high on my tbr. it was a lot of fun but it petered out toward the end
where the dark stands still by a.b. poranek: a bit of a let down not gonna lie. the gist of my opinion is that it felt underdeveloped and in turn i felt under-interested in whatever was going on
shadows of self by brandon sanderson: once again i am begging the protagonists of this series to stop being aggravating
the fractured dark by megan e. o'keefe: continuing my obsession with the devoured worlds trilogy... unfortunately i have to wait on my libby hold to get the audiobook of the next one (i read with my eyeballs and listen at the same time to help with concentration)
the right to sex - feminism in the 21st century by amia srinivasan: i read this book because i know of two people who broke up with their significant other (one of them resulting in a divorce) after reading this book so i had to know what srinivasan had cooked in there and yeah she did cook.
the way of kings by brandon sanderson: just part of my re-read in preparation of the release of wind and truth in December. this month we tackle (again) words of radiance teehee
just for the summer by abby jimenez: womp womp womp. idk what it is with romance authors these days they're in a competition with themselves to portray the healthiest love stories but this one teetered on the wrong side of boring one too many times and the volume to therapy-speech in this one was staggering.
the ex vows by joyce jessica: twas a cute poolside read, it's nothing revolutionary but it was pleasant enough and it didn't make me roll my eyes like just for the summer jdkjgsk at least the love interest had a personality and a life... i mean it's fiction so it's not a life but it appeared as if he contained multitudes or something
funny story by emily henry: I'll go ahead and say it nobody writes a contemporary romance quite like miss henry because she's got the secret recipe for the right balance between heartfelt feelings and amusing situations + her dialogues feel a lot more natural than most (though if i had to nitpick she always has this side character who's a fountain of wisdom and gives you life-changing monologues but i guess such people exist out there)
the thief by megan whalen turner: the megans are really out in full force because this is another book written by a megan that i loved so much. yes half of this book is a fairly episodic journey across made-up countries, yes i ate it up, yes the second half is worth the wait (if you were out of patience, which i wasn't, bc i was having fun) and yes the plot twists are chef's kiss. "gen's ambitions are his own" is the perfect summary. everand has all the audiobooks so you know what I'm gonna do... that's right... listen and read at the same time
as an aside the tandem reads i do with both books and audiobooks happen only when i like the narrators. if i find a narrator i like i stick to them like glue because they're few and far between as far as my picky ass is concerned. i never do romance audiobooks they're the worst...
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2024 Book Review #55 â The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez
Introduction
The Spear Cuts Through Water was one of my favorite reads of last year, and Iâve been meaning to get around to Jimenezâ other work basically since I finished it. Months and months later, my TBR pile and the libraryâs hold queue cooperated and I finally got around to it. Of the two, you can definitely tell Birds is the debut novel, but despite the roughness I canât help feeling like it's also the one I prefer. I do have complaints (of which, more below), and the story certainly has issues with structure and allocation of wordcount, but this really is the rare book where I feel no compunctions whatsoever giving five stars.
Knowing myself, this isnât entirely unrelated to how fucking heartbreaking it is at points.
Synopsis
To brutally over-summarize, the book follows Nia, a starship captain hauling crops on a freight route from a âresource worldâ to Pelican Station, one of the great centers of human civilization and Allied Space. Due to the peculiarities of faster than light travel, the round trip that is for her and her crew experienced as a span of months is for the people at both endpoints an absence of fifteen years â a convenient way for her to keep making the same mistakes as far as personal connections and relationships go. On the last loop of the route before her contract is completed, she finds herself taking care of a mute, deeply traumatized young boy discovered miraculously unharmed by the locals in what seemed like a fiery wreck. The boy â at first nonverbal, inexplicably a musical savant, deeply traumatized and mysterious in a hundred different ways â finds his way into her heart to the point that even after they return to Pelican and heâs been turned over to the security services, she canât stop trying to find out what happened to him and making sure heâs alright.
Itâs at this point that the two of them come to the attention of Fumiko Nakajima, the Millennium Woman â designer of the five great stations at the heart of Allied Space, and (thanks to the magic of cryo-sleep and FTL time differentials) one of the last survivors of long-dead Earth. She sees in the boy the possibility of something miraculous â truly instant interstellar travel â and so hires Nia and a few reliable agents to take him into Fringe Space, safely out of view of any of her âfriends and colleaguesâ who might take a similar interest in him. For fifteen years. The story then reveals itself to be one of, basically, child-rearing and coming of age â at least until the moment where the childâs miraculous abilities really do reveal themselves, and all at once things get much, much deadlier.
Structure
The book is â not quite incoherent (the thesis is very clear), but certainly unfocused. At first I thought that was rather the point â the first three chapters are each incredibly effective, melancholic short stories in their own rights'; each leapfrogging into the perspective of a character whose actions or legacy shaped the previous, but with dramatically different casts, setting and plots. These are almost certainly the most aesthetically successful and artistically disciplined sections of the book, and as I read them I assumed it would continue in the same vein for the entire book.
It does not â the book settles very firmly into being the story of Nia and the boy who is later named Ahro. The middle of the book is an almost light-hearted coming of age story, spread across the years Ahro spends growing up in the Galactic fringe with his ragtag accidental family. The final act then dramatically shifts tone again, becoming largely about recovering from betrayal and the destruction of your life, and of striving in defiance of all sense and reason to reconnect with someone you love.
There are, then, three very different vibes here, and I canât say the shifts between them are handled with the most grace in the world. The book absolutely never stops experimenting with style either, shifting voice, perspective, level of detail, and even format (several chapters are relayed as diary entries) basically whenever the mood strikes it. It absolutely feels like an incredibly talented author showing off a bit beyond their limits â you can see the seams, the allocation of effort between the parts is...questionable, and there are a couple vital characters/subplots who just needed another chapter or two of focus â but itâs the sort of messiness that leaves me incredibly endeared.
Love, and its Discontents
Those first three chapters are essentially short stories connected by setting and a character or two â but most of all theyâre connected by theme. Each is, one way or another, the story of the protagonist falling in love â the sort of love that defines a life, that cuts you to the core whenever you remember it â and then having that love fail, leaving the lover damaged or lessened in a way that never quite heals.
Things do not stay quite so melancholic, but for a story whose whole climax is centered around the quite literally metaphysical and reality-shaking power of pure love this book has a bracingly tragic sensibility of it. Love is hopelessly one-sided, or turns rancid with resentment for just long enough to make sure it can never be restored again. Romances end in betrayal and murder, bonds both sororial and paternal in half-thoughtless abandonment, soul-deep friendships in vicious arguments and a severing of ties. Love, the book says, is deeply contingent and often more transitory than it seems â and if it isnât, that can do far more harm than good.
Nia as a protagonist has plenty of baggage about this. Sheâs introduced as a woman with deep abandonment issues â that is, she keeps abandoning people and then feeling bad about it (her ship is the Debby, after the kid sister who lived and died seeing her for a few days every fifteen years due to the time lag of interstellar shipping). She latches onto protecting and caring for Ahro almost more as an attempt at redemption for herself as anything about the boy himself, itâs only over time she really grows to love him as more than a talisman.
I canât say it was particularly well-spent time, but the book does something I love at least the idea of. Niaâs crew is introduced in the second chapter with a fair amount of detail and personality, each of them having little idiosyncrasies and distinguishing habits and virtues; one is a best friend she found stranded on a wrecked hulk and nursed back to health. The whole dynamic is that of the grumbling and bickering but affectionate found family crew youâve seen in a thousand other stories. So when she commits to spend up to fifteen years of her life taking care of Ahro on the galactic fringe in exchange for truly unbelievable amounts of money, she sits down with them, tells them the score, and asks them if they trust her enough to come with her.
And all but one of them say no, and never show up in the story again. Which is possibly the first time I have ever seen that kind of scene not end with re-commitment and affirmations of trust from at least most of the real characters that were asked.
This makes the whole found family situation with Nia, Ahro and (most of) the second crew that do spend years in the outskirts of âcivilizedâ space with them works for me far, far better than these things usually do. Because, unlike functionally every piece of fiction I can think of thatâs ever been promoted as being about found families, this one really does sell it as something precious and exceptional, rare and worth fighting to preserve.
It also gets all but three of the people involved killed, of course, and of those three oneâs permanently crippled and death would probably have been kinder for the second. The bookâs really big on stretching âbetter to have loved and lost than never to have loved at allâ to the absolute breaking point â right up to someone choosing not to die despite an existence of nothing but torture and pain just for the infinitesimal bit of hope and connection of a loved one singing through the prison bars.
The Banality of Evil
The villain of the piece is, without question, the monolithic and monopolistic Umbai Corporation, something between a neocolonialist conglomerate and a sovereign, expansionist empire in the classic sense with a few affectations from its earthborn roots (the specifics of the politics of Allied Space are vague and in any case more impressionistic than anything like a detailed speculative political economy). Which is kind of fascinating, in that it is specifically the Corporation as a corporate body that is the villain â agency and responsibility are spread across whole bodies of Allied nobility and corporate Judiciary officials, armored Yellowjacket thugs and career-minded techs and surgeons. Thereâs no CEO or President, no Board of Directors who set the agenda and bear ultimate responsibility â thereâs no face to it at all, really. Iâm fairly sure no agent of the company ever even appears twice. Which is just interesting on its own terms, given Umbai as an entity defines both the setting and the plot to dramatic degrees.
The world of the Vanished Birds is a horrifying dystopia in a hundred different ways, but until the very end of the book this just isnât really something any of the characters particularly care about. Itâs in the incidental details and the little asides in the exposition â that there is a great apparatus of censorship on every Allied world dedicated to controlling and slowing the rate of linguistic drift to ease the flow of time-shifted commerce, that the culture and economy of Umbai âResource Worldsâ are societies deliberately starved of information and culturally engineered to be easily managed and quiescent single-commodity resource exporters. Even in the distant past, Umbai and institutions like it used their control over the Ark Ships escaping earth to filter the species â denying berths to (among a great many other things) anyone of âproblematicâ politics or who seemed likely to be an economic burden.
Itâs a universe where this system seems to spread inevitably and irresistibly, everything valuable bought up and parceled out for the benefit of the systemâs functionaries diligent enough to save for occasional vacations, and the nobles and officials in the vaunted heights of far-off stations and City-Planets (the allegorical applicability is left as an exercise for the reader, a bit of restraint I did appreciate).
It is, again, not a system thatâs worth analyzing as a speculative political economy or technical exploration of neocolonialism either present or future â but itâs not trying to be, either. And it works very well at seeming like a real, functioning world that the characters are just trying to live in.
The Anthropocene
Going off where most of its wordcount is spent, Iâm not sure you could really call Birds climate fiction. But if someone was making that argument, Iâm not sure you have too much ground to stand on arguing you shouldnât either.
Fumikoâs first chapter, read as a stand-alone short story, absolutely is â the story of a love affair between genius savant designing the great orbital habitats which will sustain a lucky slice of humanity in the stars, and a talented but less world-shaping scientist doing what she can to lighten the burden of the remaining four fifths of the species being left behind upon the increasingly uninhabitable earth. This is where the bookâs title comes from â the gradual disappearance of the birds Fumiko loved as a child, even from the sanctuary trying so ferociously to preserve them.
The world presented in that chapter feels just barely familiar enough to be unsettling, a scarred and fortified world thatâs still on a clear and irreversible decline â which might be either chicken or egg to the fact that the commanding heights of government and industry have given up trying to save it entirely to focus on an escape to the stars.
For the rest of the book, environmental collapse isnât really a topic that much comes up â though the human shaping of and impact on the environment certainly does. Itâs just largely a matter of deliberate engineering.
There is, however, a very easy allegorical reading of the fact that on discovery of a way to travel instantaneously between stars, Umbai ruthlessly exploits and monopolizes it to attain unprecedented degrees of power and wealth as they reshape the entire galactic economy â all of galactic civilization, really â around the new technology. All without the slightest thought or care that this new technology is based on harvesting a specific and finite resource and their brave new world will collapse entirely without it. Omelas-child instead of oil but still â not exactly subtle, but I do appreciate the book restraining itself from directly and explicitly pointing it out.
Fumiko
The âmillennium womanâ is probably the most interesting single character in the book, and also almost certainly the biggest structural weakness in the whole thing. Which is annoying to me, personally. She simultaneously has some of the best chapters of the book and also ends up feeling like a ball being tossed around as the plot requires.
Her Methuselah existence is only vaguely justified and explained, and itâs entirely unclear just how exceptional she is (beyond the fact she isnât unique, anyway) â the story never even gestures to the existence of any of her peers beyond vague mentions of the Umbai executive class or Allied nobility. Sheâs an oligarch-savant with nigh-infinite resources and cadres of loyalists installed in every institution worth owning â until a single mistake is made and the powers that be unite in a perfectly coordinated strike to kill them all and leave her stranded in the torn up ruins of her private research colonies among the corpses of two thousand executed minions.
A character being ruthlessly crushed without warning or chance of contesting it by the powers that be rings more true when the character isnât one of them, I suppose? As it was, it felt like being dropped into the climax of a story without any of the rising action.
The effect is, I think, at least mostly intentional. The entire chapter is about Fumiko being so distracted with the failures of her memory and a complete preoccupation with her latest project (Ahro) that she cannot even pretend to remember or care about this whole vast infrastructure she has built up for her own advancement and curiosity, or the hundreds of followers who treat her as a living saint (to the point of not even remembering her friend, confidant and second in command until the moment before heâs executed for, in essence, her failing to consider the consequences of breaking a minionâs heart). The fact that thereâs a battlecruiser en route to bury everything sheâs built in napalm and she just forgot to do anything to prepare is actually very plausible. In which case, I just wish it had been ore dwelt upon and made a point of. Or just â it felt like she really needed another chapter or two from her POV before things go horribly wrong, I suppose?
Her chapters are very well-done and affecting, to be clear. And her mirrored character arc with Nia â both women who get a certain pleasure out of other people caring about and being more invested in them than they are in return, both dealing cosmically poorly with rejection, both forever decorating their life in half-conscious memory of someone they left behind â is both well done and compelling (Nia gets better, Fumikoâs story in an elaborate murder-suicide/terrorist attack).
Too Long; Didnât Read
Beautiful, emotionally affecting book. Very much a debut work from a talented author â experimenting and showing off a bit more than be supported, some fundamental structural weaknesses â but nothing I found detracted from the experience. Actually one of the quite rare books where sitting down and writing out a review has made me like it more rather than less.
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