#when you suggest to them that maybe killing all of your political enemies/'the bad people' to make society better is literally fascism

[lord-squiggletits]

Yeah I was on a discord where they talked about TFO and they hated Orion for his acts accusing of not caring about D-16. I decided to go after that.

People have such a hate boner for OP it's wild, literally what is this constant dehumanization where D/Megatron's feelings are valid and he's allowed to go as batshit as he wants, but if OP ever questions him at all or god forbid is hurt by someone who's supposed to be his friend it's just the worst? This fandom hates an Optimus whose life doesn't revolve around Megatron which basically means they hate all versions of Optimus unless they can turn him into Megatron's trophy husband/soft cute uwu boyfriend

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Greg Sargent at TNR:

Mark Robinson, the extremist GOP nominee for governor in North Carolina, appeared to endorse political violence in a bizarre and extended rant he delivered on June 30 in a small-town church. “Some folks need killing!” Robinson, the state’s lieutenant governor, shouted during a roughly half-hour-long speech in Lake Church in the tiny town of White Lake, in the southeast corner of the state. “It’s time for somebody to say it. It’s not a matter of vengeance. It’s not a matter of being mean or spiteful. It’s a matter of necessity!” Robinson’s call for the “killing” of “some folks” came during an extended diatribe in which he attacked an extraordinary assortment of enemies. These ranged from “people who have evil intent” to “wicked people” to those doing things like “torturing and murdering and raping” to socialists and Communists. He also invoked those supposedly undermining America’s founding ideals and leftists allegedly persecuting conservatives by canceling them and doxxing them online.

In all this, Robinson appeared to endorse lethal violence against these unnamed enemies, particularly on the left, though he wasn’t exactly clear on which “folks” are the ones who “need killing.” Robinson, a self-described “MAGA Republican,” has a long history of wildly radical and unhinged moments. He has linked homosexuality to pedophilia, called for the arrest of trans women, pushed hallucinogenic antisemitic conspiracy theories, endorsed the vile “birther” conspiracy about Barack Obama, described Michelle Obama as a man, hinted at the need to violently oppose federal law enforcement and the government, and posted memes mocking and denying the brutal, violent assault on Nancy Pelosi’s husband, among many other things. [...]

Here’s what Robinson said (bold mine):

[We now find ourselves struggling with people who have evil intent. You know, there’s a time when we used to meet evil on the battlefield, and guess what we did to it? We killed it! … When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, what did we do? We flew to Japan! And we killed the Japanese Army and Navy! … We didn’t argue and capitulate and talk about, well, maybe we shouldn’t fight the Nazis that hard. No, they’re bad. Kill them. Some liberal somewhere is going to say that sounds awful. Too bad. Get mad at me if you want to. Some folks need killing! It’s time for somebody to say it. It’s not a matter of vengeance. It’s not a matter of being mean or spiteful. It’s a matter of necessity! When you have wicked people doing wicked things, torturing and murdering and raping. It’s time to call out, uh, those guys in green and go have them handled. Or those boys in blue and have them go handle it.… We need to start handling our business again.… Don’t you feel it slipping away? … The further we start sliding into making 1776 a distant memory and the tenets of socialism and communism start coming into clearer focus. They’re watching us. They’re listening to us. They’re tracking us. They get mad at you. They cancel you. They dox you. They kick you off social media. They come in and close down your business. Folks, it’s happening … because we have forgotten who we are.]

Robinson might try to argue that he only meant that our enemies during World War II—and torturers and murderers and rapists today—deserve “killing.” But the sum total of his remarks plainly suggests otherwise. He seemed to analogize the need to kill World War II enemies to the need to kill enemies in the present, enemies who harbor “evil intent,” enemies conservatives are struggling against “now.”

[...] This tendency on the right to invoke an infinitely hallucinogenic and malleable leftist enemy to justify in advance the political violence that the right itself wants to unleash on its enemies is a near-daily occurrence. Another ripe example came just this week from Kevin Roberts, president of the Heritage Foundation, the brain trust behind Project 2025’s radical blueprint for MAGA authoritarian rule under a second Trump presidency.

North Carolina Lt. Gov. and Gubernatorial nominee Mark Robinson (R) cannot go a day without embarrassing the Tarheel state.

[ramonag-if]

First of all I'm sorry if this question was very rude and i'm sorry if i insult you (i didn't mean to) and sorry if my question make you uncomfortable too.

1. I was read what you said about high combat or warriors MC, i feel like MC will alway become bloodthirsty warriors no matter what (i know violence shouldn't happen no matter what but it just feel weird to me) so i wonder it that possible to play as Noble warriors MC who have high moral code, alway protect other people and not kill if not necessary or they will alway become bloodthirsty warriors? Also Can MC become foot soldiers in game?

2. Will duel between two leaders or two warriors in battlefield going to happen? If it happen can MC duel with enemy too?

3. What do you mean you bad at writing fight scenes? Your fight scenes was Awesome! I really like rescue prisoner scene. But i think high combat MC you can add MC to have faster senses than other MC (not like high politics MC who can know what going on or high leadership MC who can make fast decisions to lead the other i feel like high combat MC going to have fast reaction when something happen) and maybe they was the first one who can notice when something or someone be suspicious. (Sorry if you know it already)

4. What did RO feel about MC who have sweet tooth? If MC eat sweets they going to become happy MC for day.

Sorry if i being rude to you and thank you from answer my question.

No need to apologise 😊

There's actually no path that forces a player to become a bloodthirsty warrior. If you want to avoid violence apart from self-defence, you will always have a choice to avoid it. So rest assured, you can complete the game without killing a single soul.

It's a lot more complicated than Irus vs Virion. There will be a lot of variation in the final chapters based on what you choose to do. You can choose to stick with certain characters; if you do that, you might miss out on the final 'boss fight'. But yes, there will be an option to take down Virion depending on specific variables and choices.

Thank you for these suggestions! I will definitely be returning when I start edits to adjust and add more to the combat scenes. I still hate combat so much and writing them gives me anxiety 😂 My ideal version of combat is through manipulation and poisoning, so I'm very much a non-confrontational IF gamer.

The ROs don't care much for what the MC eats, as long as they're happy. Irus and Elora would buy the MC sweets. Oren would probably make the MC something sweet and Anu would just rifle through the MC's belongings for something sweet 😂

[mymaleficaria]

mthedm ---> mymaleficaria

Hi gang! I've had this blog since high school, but somewhere in college it fell into disuse and disrepair. I've been itching to get back on here, as a space on the internet that's not...ya know *gestures at the Twitter-sized elephant in the room*. But I also wanted to go in with a fresh coat of paint and reintroduce myself to y'all, maybe even make some new friends (or enemies. That could be hot.) A lot has changed!

Wait, why do I follow you?

Statistically, you followed me because of Wolf 359! I was big into podcasts back in the day, WTNV, Wolf 359, all those. I also wrote some Wolf 359 fics and was semi-active on the discord. Still fondly remember the show and might reblog fanart once in awhile, but it's not the direction this blog's going to go, so feel free to unfollow if what up I'm to now isn't your jam.

What's this blog about now?

Wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy? Frankly, I'm ADHD as fuck, so that'll vary by the day, but I have a few fandoms (do we still say fandoms in the year of our lord 2023???) that I've been into lately.

Dimension 20: I started watching D20 a little less than a year ago, and it entirely took over my life. It's just a series that's so robustly funny, wonderfully told, and never fails to make me smile. I'm especially fond of ACOC and Fantasy High.

Dracula Daily: I'm in this shit for the long haul! I think Lucy and Mina should kiss, but that's neither here nor there.

Game of Thrones/HotD: This show ended in a trash fire, but it literally lives in my head rent free. The political intrigue, the drama. Ugh. I'm a targ girlie through and through, so I've been eating up HotD, though it's nowhere near as good imo. Am also currently reading the 1st ASOIAF book.

YA lit/Whatever I'm reading/watching: I've read almost 50 books this year so far, and am frankly, insane. Bonus points for queer reads! Not many people to talk about books to irl, so might ramble about them on here instead. Also watch a lot of random TV drama and some anime.

Writing: I'm a fanfic writer, and a fiction writer in general, so I'll post stuff about writing--complaints, story snippets, link to my fics, etc! Headcanons and all will be found here. I've also copyedited before, which is like writing but if you get even more nitpicky about it.

Personal/Whatever the hell I feel like/My D&D Games: Life happens and sometimes you want to scream into the void. Ramblings, jokes, whatever. I transed my gender in the past few years and sometimes I'm mad about it! I also just graduated college! Madness! I play a lot of TTRPGs, and I'm usually on brainrot for one of my characters at any given time.

Why's your new username that?

One of my favorite book series is The Scholomance by Naomi Novik, and in the series, Maleficaria are the horrifying monsters that threaten to kill the students every day, and what is tumblr if not a place full of vile, evil beings? Plus, it means you all can call me Mal.

Anything else?

Nope! Other than to feel free to drop me a line and say hello, especially if you want to scream about D20. I'm p alone in this brainrot irl, so I'm pretty much always down to talk about the Bad Kids... especially Adaine and Fabian. I'm also always down to take fic suggestions in my asks! This show genuinely lifts me up when I'm down, so sharing it with people is one of my favorite things.

My fics (shortlist):

In Sweetness, There is Violence: Angsty ACOC one-shot about if Ruby had made a different choice in the finale. Obligatory Caramelinda Caramelinda-ing.

the words i speak are wildfires: A HOTD one-shot I intended to be smut, that ended up instead being more like a romantic sapphic moment of healing between Alicent and Rhaenyra. What can I say? I like childhood friends to enemies to lovers.

Stay Stellar: An unfinished (and, very likely, discontinued) 15-chapter high school AU for Wolf 359 that I wrote with an old friend. Featuring some truly crazy shenanigans, a lot of embarrassing Kepcobi moments, and a surprising amount of theatre.

[smiletimeisrunningout]

"Absolutely," Emma said softly, accepting that he needed her to stop - of course she'd always respect that, but she hoped that in this case, maybe not now but someday, Benjamin Tallmadge would think about it and feel that it was right, that it wasn't his weight to carry. She got up after he did, taking one last bite of food, and hoped that before saying goodbye they'd have to chance to talk alone one more time, and he'd have a sweeter memory of her than their last conversation.

But while she had hoped she could get a day of rest after reuniting with general Washington, she realized while the men made their plans that she couldn't, because while sending out other teams as a distraction was great, she wasn't sure De Francy would reach France. "May I, general?" she asked in a moment of silence, and George - whom she had called as such in private, sadly not around the Major - gave her a gentlemanly 'of course'. "I can take the papers to France. I can leave all by myself and people will hardly suspect a woman to be doing anything of importance alone, and I'll speak to Luis-to the king in person once there. If anyone does stop me and has bad intentions, you know I can take them," she touched the sword at her side, glancing at the only other men she could see from her position, Lieutenant Brewster, who had an intrigued smile on his face. That was encouraging, at least. "It's what I do. I just need a map because I have no idea of where I'm going." "Princess, the dangers you'd face taking off on your own..." he was searching for words that wouldn't offend her, and she took the opening. "If the British capture me, all I have to do is show my seal and they'll apologize for interrupting my journey, maybe even escort me, in fact." "It's not my enemy that concerns me, it's yours." The easy smile on her face faded instantly, and somehow she already knew. "What?" she managed to grit out, rage filling her chest.

"I was hoping to talk to you about this matter in private later, but I worry it may be too late. There has been an attack... not too far from here, people have been executed and the... manner in which the executions were carried suggests that those are your enemies, attempting to gain your attention. I invite you to stay until the situation has been resolved." The way he spoke, no specific location, told Emma that if he was skipping details it was only because he did remember her and her father well, and knew she'd jump on the first horse. "Hearts or heads?" He understood immediately, which had Emma tensing up even more, and quietly answered: "Hearts." "Grandmother, then," she was using all her self-control to keep her tone calm, but it was all she could do, she was sure no one there doubted she was about to pull a muscle from anger alone, "And in the unlikely case they get to kill me after I leave, I'd have been murdered while supposedly under your care, which could cause you trouble." "That's not-" "It's not the only reason you wish for me to stay, but it's the only reason for me not to go look for them now. I came to help, the last thing I want is to do more damage. So I will stay put. I will write my parents and let them know I'm not under your watch anymore and I'm going on my own mission, and only when I get a confirm that they have read the letter... then I will go after them." "But you'll be welcome to stay if you change your mind, or to be escorted to the nearest port," he could only offer back, but she doubted he believed he could convince her not to risk her neck. She was going to die from an explosion of her heart if she didn't go outside. "Thank you. I clearly am in no position to help anymore so I'll leave you all to your plans. I need rest after the long ride." She didn't, she needed to punch something. Emma forced another smile, "I'll take my leave." He nodded and there was a small polite goodbye before she left quickly.

Of course George had planned for her staying, she already had a tent, seemingly with more commodities than other women at camp had been given since one of the men there was meant to guard her and informed her that more women would be sent to help her personally. Politics, he had to keep the princess at least more comfortable than a camp follower, especially since said princess had already told him in private that she meant to send supplies. But she didn't need the special treatment, she needed to keep busy so she wouldn't go out there and avenge those deaths. She had made her temporary guard - Officer Gold, James to her now - spill details about the massacre and was even more furious, but she had to behave. So she had punched her own trunk, nearly breaking her hand. And then had spent the next five minutes trying not to make a sound over that, and the next fifteen arranging the place, taking some of her things out of the trunk, and looking for ink and parchment. And the next ten trying to come up with a letter while pacing around the tent and considering punching the trunk again because bruises aside she had felt better for a bit. The next, better, idea, was to pile up crates and sacks so she could make them into a target and stab it. She was all alone there, and forced to wait, and those were the two things she hated most.

Death just happens.

The words, though perhaps simplified, cut deep into Ben’s defenses and stung. For far too long, he’d tormented himself with the thought that if he’d only tried harder, or if he hadn’t been the one to encourage Hale and Samuel to enlist, then they would still be here. Not blaming himself had never been an option. And now, with Emma’s hand on his arm and his chin tucked in towards his chest, Ben had never felt more selfish, more arrogant for upholding such inflated self-importance.

"Everything they have done before their death matters. They mattered, just like we’ll matter to someone else, and that’s all we can strive for.”

Something deep inside crumpled, much akin to a landslide of rocks within his chest, and unable to fight back against the current, Ben ducked his face into his hands and slid his palms over his eyes, momentarily blacking out his vision. “I don’t wish to discuss this,” he whispered. Stubbornly, he didn’t want there to be a rhyme or reason for his pain – all he knew was that he wanted it; to serve as a sobering reminder for all the ways he’d failed. “I understand what you’re trying to say, but please…no more.”

He wasn’t ready. With Hale in the ground two years prior, and his own brother barely tossed out at sea, the wounds ran far too deep to gloss over with a simple, “Death happens.” And although Ben knew that wasn’t Emma’s message at all, he couldn’t bear to dwell beyond his own self-erected punishments.

Grateful when Emma spoke of her own kingdom, he nodded and slowly lifted his head. “Yes, I’ll come find you,” he promised. “I can’t guarantee you’ll be any good at shooting, but I can try and train you.” Here, he offered what he hoped to be a convincing smile. It felt shaky, painful, and he was quick to look away.

“And I’m one for fairness, if I poke at you all day, the least you get to do is to insult me, isn’t it? But for your information, when you do decide to court me, I much prefer compliments.”

No longer able to feign high spirits, Ben rose from his perch and moved away from her, heading over toward his horse, Artillery, who was languidly grazing through the grass. “We should set off,” he announced. “The sun will be fully out before long, and that will assuredly slow us down, should it get too hot.” Re-adjusting Artillery’s saddle, he exhaled and stroked her neck. “Ready all your belongings. I don’t intend to stop until we arrive at Middlebrook.”

[bard-llama]

The Taint of the Common Man (Meve/Reynard/Gascon)

Okay, so I finally tried to play Thronebreaker again and it turned out that my comptuer/steam/whatever had actually kept my save!!! So I didn’t have to start over, which was good, because the beginning was kinda boring, which is why it took me so long to continue. But it’s also kinda bad, because now I do not remember anything about Gascon’s introduction beyond “they fought, Meve won and threatened to hang him next time”. Which like... I could probably make it work, but knowing the details seems important for writing Meve’s feelings and reactions to Gascon. 

Anyway, this is a continuation of the thoughts that this lovely post inspired, and because I’m me, those thoughts grew a plot. Both the link and the rest of the story involve a VERY dubcon/noncon premise, so please engage only if you can. Also, spoilers for Chapter 1 of Thronebreaker (aka major plot things that happen once you reach Lyria’s capital).

Okay, once again: HUGE WARNING for Dubcon/Noncon stuff. Like, it’s how the story starts and it’s gonna be something dealt with through the whole story. My idea is basically a story that starts with Meve losing EVERYTHING, and then, through her quest to reclaim her throne, she learns how to be a better queen to ALL of her people, not just the noblemen. End game is intended to be Meve/Reynard/Gascon, but tbh, idk how they get there. Like, at first, Meve and Reynard hate Gascon A LOT, so they have to learn to love him and that takes time.

I’m kinda still learning about these characters as I think this through, so apologies if you find them ooc or if I contradict canon (without meaning to. Sometimes i do it gladly lol)

So we start with Meve returning to the Lyrian castle, only to find that her son and the Council of Peers (read: ruling council that advises the monarch and consists entirely of peerage aka nobility) have betrayed her and surrendered to Nilfgaard. She’s thrown in a dungeon and though her son orders that she is not to be harmed, she knows enough about reality to know they’d never let her live. 

She’s on guard, waiting for the guards to come and kill her - only when footsteps approach, it’s not the guards at all, but the fucking Duke of Dogs, the leader of the Strays of Spalla, a gang of bandits that plague merchant caravans and noblemen alike. Gascon, the proclaimed Duke of Dogs, opens the cell door and steps in and tells Meve that he’s freeing her, because the Council of Peers used him and his men and he can’t abide betrayal. But there’s one condition - Meve has to ask him, all nice and polite-like.

Meve, of course, refuses, because she’s nothing if not prideful. So Gascon closes the cell door and leans back against it and says something like, “guess we won’t be leaving, then. Unless, of course, you’d prefer to do something else on your knees,” or some sort of implication like that that makes it clear he’s suggesting that she blow him in exchange for release. And Meve is furious and her pride cuts at her, but dammit, she has no hope of freeing Lyria from Nilfgaard’s grasp while stuck in here. So she goes to her knees. And Gascon is surprised - from his view, she could’ve just begged him??? - but like... the QUEEN is on her KNEES for HIM, a (decidedly un)common bandit who she’d threatened to hang not a week prior. 

Also, I think there’s also a part of Gascon that blames Meve for the massacre of his family. According to the wiki, the year before King Reginald (Meve’s husband) died, Gascon’s family revolted against the king and were soundly squashed, with Gascon at a mere 8 years old the only one to survive. From there, he fell in with the Strays of Spalla and eventually became their leader. Remember this bit, ‘cause I’m definitely gonna come back to it. But anyway, Gascon doesn’t like Meve. He’s doing this because it’s the right thing to do and a little because having the queen indebted to him feels awfully good. Also, Meve is good with her mouth.

So good, in fact, that she drives him crazy, taking him to the edge and teasing him and teasing him and teasing him until his legs are shaking and the cell door is all that’s holding him up. I don’t think he actually begs, because his men are around the cell watching this, but he has to bite his lip hard to keep from doing so.

For Meve, there are many complicated feelings happening. On the one hand, this is humiliating and degrading and it’s shameful that she’s fallen so far as to be forced to service a fucking bandit and even worse that his men are SEEING this happen.

On the other hand... look, Meve was widowed 8 years ago. Somewhere in there (or before?), she comes to love and trust Reynard - who her husband, upon his deathbed, told her that he alone could be trusted. But she hasn’t made a move, because it wouldn’t be appropriate and she doesn’t want to ruin things between them. 

Point is, it’s been 8 years since she’s had sex and she has had cause to desire some sex. Queens can probably get amazing sex toys, but like, an actual cock? it’s been AGES since she’s been able to play with one and she kind of missed it. 

Additionally, in an effort to combat her shame and humiliation, she decides to flip the script on them. Gascon wants her to blow him? Fine, she’ll blow him so well that he utterly falls apart. And maybe she’s a little of practice, but Gascon is young anyway, he probably doesn’t even know better lmao. (But later, she’s oddly grateful that she had this chance for ‘practice’ before it actually mattered)

Eventually, she lets Gascon come - or maybe he uses his grip on her hair to pull her onto him? (She may decide to make it a good blowjob, but that doesn’t mean he’s earned deepthroating) - and the Strays, who have gone from hooting and hollering over the queen’s humiliation to flushed and aroused at the skillful way she destroyed their boss, let them out of the cell. 

Next, they go to the city jail to release Reynard, who was arrested as soon as the coup happened because everyone knows that Reynard’s loyalty to the crown is absolute. Reynard is sitting against the wall and he smiles brightly at the sight of her, so Meve strides into the cell to unshackle him. So of course Gascon, who now stands in front of the door once more, suggests something like, “such faithful loyalty deserves ample reward, does it not?”

And Meve is conflicted. Because AGAIN, the Strays of Spalla are watching them and Gascon is trying elicit sexual favours from her. But also, it’s Reynard. She’s wondered for so long what Reynard’s cock would be like and how he would treat her. And, she justifies to herself, she was already forced to give a piece of filth like Gascon a blowjob. Reynard most certainly deserved better.

So she orders him to stand and goes to her knees and is almost eager to get him in her mouth. And Reynard is caught entirely off guard here, because he was ready to skewer Gascon for the mere suggestion, and then she’s ACTUALLY DOING IT!!! And it’s not like she’s alone in having thought about it, but he always assumed that he would be the one on his knees. So for her to do so... he’s awed and a little horrified that he is party to degrading his queen in this way. And also aroused. REALLY fucking aroused, because Meve is on her knees for him! And unlike Gascon, he has earned deepthroating. Fortunately, he’s already leaning against the wall, so he doesn’t collapse. 

If Gascon hadn’t had the most intense orgasm of his life like 10 minutes previously, he’d definitely try to see if he could join in, even though they really don’t have the time for that sort of thing. But suffice it to say, Gascon remembers each and every moment Meve spent on her knees vividly.

Reynard comes (and Gascon is reluctantly pleased to have a companion in the wait-you-want-me-to-fight-after-how-hard-I-came!? club) and they all leave the dungeons - and get found by a patrol of guards. They have to fight their way out and Meve thinks Gascon managed to slip away - right up until he comes to their aid with his whole crew. With Gascon’s help, their motley crew flees the capital of Lyria (largely by traveling thru the sewers).

That night, they set up camp somewhere and instead of the royal supplies she’s used to, all they have is whatever the Strays of Spalla had, which means stolen and/or threadbare, ‘cause they’re not exactly living the high life. And Meve knows she should get some rest, but she can’t stop thinking about what happened in the prison(s) and she decides that, as long as Reynard was willing, why shouldn’t she pursue the man she loved? 

So she goes to the mess tent and it’s predictably full of drunken soldiers - well, drunken warriors. This rabble didn’t deserve to be called soldiers - and clusters of people playing dice and cards. She spots Reynard at one of the card tables - but sitting across from him is none other than the motherfucking Duke of Dogs. Half-formed plans to kiss Reynard drown under the flood of fury she feels and she summons Reynard to her, ignoring Gascon, who definitely tries to flirt with her. At this moment, she has VERY conflicted feelings about Gascon and most of them are negative. But also, they need him. She is very much aware that his men are the only reason she has any chance at all of taking back her home.

Anyway, Meve confronts Reynard, who explains that he doesn’t trust Gascon as far as he can throw him and whatever mischief Gascon is up to, whatever he thinks he can gain from helping them, Reynard is ready for the doublecross. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer is very much his philosophy, compounded by the way he has learned not to reveal - well, much at all. People probably find him very... is softspoken the word? Not like he speaks soft, but like, he doesn’t say a lot. He learned to keep his mouth shut after he managed to survive insulting the king, so he plays things pretty close to his chest and people find it hard to guess what he’s thinking. 

Gascon, for his part, is helping Meve because it’s the right thing to do (and a little because again, queen indebted to you? Very handy). He’s probably aware that Reynard doesn’t like him, even if Reynard acts friendly enough? Like, literally Reynard is so loyal to Meve that he was imprisoned and she was sure of his fealty. And Gascon has found ways to rationalize what he did i.e. raping Meve - she could’ve just begged! She had a choice! - but even though Reynard got a blowjob out of it, I’m sure Gascon would assume that Reynard would want him dead for the blowjob that he got.

I don’t precisely know what Reynard and Gascon’s relationship is like during this, tbh. I think it’ll be Meve’s POV, so she may have a limited view, but I think it’s definitely complicated. Made worse, of course, by both Meve and Reynard beginning to see the redeeming qualities in Gascon. But that comes later.

For now, Meve accepts Reynard’s explanation and knowing that he would do anything to protect her soothes some of the ruffled feathers from a very trying day. So she decides to subtly ask him something like, “come to my tent?” that like, isn’t blatant ‘cause they’re surrounded by drunk men, but also is pretty clear. And Reynard’s eyes widen and it hurts so much to do, but he tells her no. She’s had an intense fucking day - betrayed by her son and court, imprisoned, forced to give multiple blowjobs and work with lowly bandits and shit. Like, she’s been through a lot and he knows that she’s not able to be in her right mind. So he says no, part of him hoping that if she actually means it, she’ll try again in the morning.

But what Meve hears is no, not interested. Which makes this the third time today that she gets to be humiliated in front of the fucking Strays of Spalla, because not only is the man she loves rejecting her, but like... is he rejecting her because she’s tainted now? How is she supposed to interpret him enjoying a blowjob from her one hour and rejecting her advances the next? 

And the taint... I think that’ll be a theme in this fic (thus the title). Like, at the height of her power before the fall, Meve was “pure” - which in this case means firmly assured that she was right in everything, as she was always destined to be. There’s no questioning of the world order or if she’s qualified to lead. She simply knows that she is.

But now she’s been betrayed, her nobility and her title ripped from her grasp. And not only that, but she’s demeaned herself with a common thug! She even says it in the game - “look how far we’ve fallen, to be surrounded by peasants and deserters and bandits”. For her, this entire situation is almost like “being common” is reaching for her, trying to pull her in, and she wants to resist, because she’s always been taught that the nobles are BETTER than the common people. But as she works with her army of thugs and commoners, she starts to learn that poor people are people too (gee, who’da thunk it?)

That journey takes time, though, and we’re barely at the start of it! 

So, Meve gets rejected. She’s hurt and humiliated and at the moment doesn’t have a kind word for ANYBODY. She maybe cries herself to sleep and hates herself for being weak.

Then morning comes and she has her regular strategy meeting with Reynard, as she did every morning. And it’s awkward and Reynard is as silent as usual, always so deliberate about every word that leaves his mouth. And she wants to ask, but yesterday’s humiliation was enough. She can’t repeat it.

So even though they SHOULD’VE gotten together, they fail to, because Meve is stubborn and prideful and Reynard is closelipped and proper. And Meve kind of hates even the sight of Gascon, but since he IS the leader of the army that is currently only at her disposal because of him, she invites him to join the strategy meetings every morning. If Gascon helps provide a buffer between her and Reynard, so much the better.

Okay, I don’t actually know how everyone ACTUALLY gets together, BUT as they travel through the countryside of Lyria towards the Aedirnian border, a couple of important things happen.

1) Meve sees the real conditions of the people living in her realm. Even in areas that the lords had reported prosperous, people were starving and dying. She starts to learn that these are her people too.

2) Meve and Reynard get to know Gascon. Not just over their strategy meetings, but as they observe him and the Strays of Spalla they (Meve especially) begin to realize that their judgements were all wrong. Because yes, the Strays of Spalla are bandits. They steal from wealthy merchants and even wealthier nobles. That had always been enough to know before.

But now they come to know that that stolen food and blankets and supplies and coin went to the starving peasants in these lands. Hell, most of the Strays are from these areas. These are their people, even if Meve hasn’t figured out that they’re hers too.

Anyway, idk how they get together or how the story ends - is it with them getting together? Getting to Vengerberg to ask for help to reclaim their home? Ousting Villem and taking Lyria back? idk, I haven’t even gotten that far in the game yet lol.

So yeah, here’s a very long synopsis of a story that manages to have almost no porn and lots of angst, despite being inspired by a purely porny post lmao.

[scaredysap]

Hi sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask your opinion on the way Mingjue sometimes is characterized. Idk it bugs me soO bad when some people narrow him down to the -aggresive for no reason- guy when I just don't see it? Ofc he's flawed and is often harsh, his condition making it worse, but mostly he's had pretty valid reasons to react the way he has with everything JGY did.

Despite that, he's sometimes painted like the bad guy while Jgy like the poor little mew mew who happened to kill someone here and there...

I just think it's unfair because he's just? A nice guy when it comes down to it? Like he cares about common people, tries to do the right thing even if he sometimes fails, feels one thing and cries

Idk maybe I'm biased because he's one of my faves. I'd love to hear what you think on this though 👀💞

Ah, the dilemma of Big Bad Da-ge, my age old enemy. Now I see you mentioning him crying so I'm going to assume you come from/are referring to The Untamed canon. In which case: yeah, absolutely, I do not see the interpretation of Nie Mingjue as someone who is just always aggressive and angry for no reason.

The first time we meet him he istantaneously raises the self esteem of half the younger generation by complimenting them, then he casts fair judgement on Xue Yang in favour of keeping him imprisoned until he confesses where the Yin Iron is and also clearly trusts Meng Yao to keep this very important prisoner where he needs to be. So from the get-go we see a leader who is well loved by his people and outsiders and willing to listen when others point out good strategic decisions. AND later he also Lan Xichen in the middle of a war despite the fact that he refuses to tell NMJ who the spy is.

Now, when does NMJ start getting angry consistently? After finding one of his closest advisors frigging stab one of his own allies with a smile on his face. and then said advisor goes on to act as a secret spy and kill some more of NMJ's men. and then he gets promoted. you can see why that would rub someone the wrong way.

So Jin Guangyao isn't in a good light as far as NMJ is concerned and then the guy goes and consistlently keeps up the meek and diligent, harmless facade that NMJ has already seen through. And it gets on NMJ's nerves because deep down he is a straight-forward man, he probably doesn't appreciate JGY pretending like it's all bygones. And this is also when he starts having signs of qi deviation, to the point where LXC gets concerned and suggests playing a secret song of feeling to stave off his death. In novel canon I think JGY started by playing the right song and switched to the corrupted one later but in CQL he was always playing Turmoil, out to kill NMJ, even before the Stairs Incident.

All of this to say: I think boiling NMJ down to a dull, angry man is doing a great disservice to both him and the relationship he has with JGY. It is undeniable that NMJ tends to miss the intricacies of politics and societal pressure that JGY suffers from, mostly due to the fact that being sect heir and naturally talented, NMJ never had to deal with that sort of behavior. It is definitely a fault but not one that I think makes murdering him a warranted reaction.

I think if LXC errs too much on the side of assuming people are good, NMJ errs on assuming that people are fair. That if you just explain the situation, if you just work hard enough, you will be recognised. That if you told your tyrannical father why keeping a mass murderer like XY alive is a bad idea, said father would give you a fair shot at explaining and listen.

By the end of his life, NMJ could not have been in a good enough mental state to really think clearly so in CQL!canon I don't really hold his kicking JGY against him. I need to re-read the novel but that situation is different.

I am absolutely biased, I won't deny it. But in the end the thing that makes me believe that despite everything NMJ really was a good man not entirely controlled by his anger, is the fact that Nie Huaisang did everything he did to avenge him and give him peace. It was the filial thing to do but I don't think you go that far to avenge someone who was always looking down on people for not meeting his standards and raging all the time.

[dat-carovieh]

Got some interpretation on Hank’s character that got prompted by some discussion on Discord about the stickers on Hank’s work desk. They all seem to somehow send a message about some boomer guy who is racist about androids, hates his ex-wife, is in general a grumpy asshole who is a prick to everyone. But is he really and if not, how do you explain the stickers?

So, let’s first have a look at who Hank interacts with throughout the game to see if he really is a grumpy prick like the stickers suggest. We will get to the stickers later. I will not include Connor for now, because I think that has been talked about a lot also this post is already a novel. But let’s talk about side characters.

We have of course his co-workers. Most memorable is probably Gavin. He clearly doesn’t like Gavin and Gavin clearly doesn’t like him. Gavin is pretty shitty to Hank, despite Hank being his superior. So I think Hank calling Gavin an asshole and not being friendly with him makes sense. How about other co-workers, we don’t see a lot. I can only think of Ben and Chris. They seem to be respecting each other. In Partners Hank arrives, gets greeted by Ben, has a polite conversation about what happened, Ben teases him a little, Hank does not get rude about it, maybe a bit grumpy, but well he’s annoyed about his new partner. He than walks around the crime scene and asks questions. When he talks, he is polite to the person he talks to. He talks to Chris in public enemy (Please excuse if I forget instances, I have played the game a couple of times, but my brain isn’t perfect) He enters, he makes a joke, in my opinion it’s funny and in no way rude, he’s annoyed with the FBI, yeah but I think that’s normal. He asks Chris questions, listens to him, polite conversation, they seem to clearly respect each other and have a good and professional relationship. Later Hank is clearly really affected by what happened to Chris, no matter if he got killed or not.

Jeffrey is a little harder. They do yell at each other, it’s not really pretty, there are clearly issues between them. They go way back and I can imagine they butt heads a lot because Jeffrey is disappointed in Hank for letting himself go and giving in to his depression and alcoholism. I can imagine he had tried to help Hank and he resisted a lot, Hank seems like the type. So there is a lot of tension that comes out between them.

I mentioned the FBI earlier, so clearly, we have to talk about Perkins, THAT MOTHER FUCKER. Yeah, I hate him, he’s an asshole, Hank thinks the same. But honestly Perkins was super rude from the beginning. Chris introduced them and instead of a “Hello” or whatever his first words were “What is that” about Connor. Yeah, fuck off Perkins. Hank has actually been really polite with him there, if you take in the circumstances.

Let’s move to the Eden Club. Who does he interact here? Ben, briefly, polite professional, he calls Gavin an asshole, when he’s not there, he doesn’t really say anything to Gavin when they’re in the same room, despite Gavin being a little shit again. Eden Club owner? He’s polite as he questions him, he does mention that he likes his dog more and more the more he learns about humans, which honestly, if you look at why he says that, understandable. Then the Traci, this is easily missed, I only saw it on my fourth playthrough, he is trying to gently let her down and it’s incredibly adorable. The guy who supposedly absolutely hates Androids and thinks they’re just machines tries to not hurt this android sexworker’s feelings even though he believes she doesn’t even have feelings.

We see a little bit of his private life at Chicken Feed where he meets Pedro, a guy who apparently gives him questionable betting advice and last time Hank apparently lost quite a bit of money with Pedro’s advice. But he’s not mad. He mentions it but he is quickly convinced to bet again and he’s in general super friendly to Pedro. Gary, the guy who owns Chicken Feed, him and Hank also seem to have a good relationship. Someone who wouldn’t want to interact with humans and who is annoyed by them (like me sometimes) wouldn’t actually built a connection to the guy you buy your food from. I’m talking from personal experience here. Yes, I’m always friendly to service workers I interact with but I don’t really say more than greeting, thanking, wishing a good day and anything important for whatever I’m buying. Hank clearly knows him better and talks to him. Jimmy is less clear but the way he says to him “Wonders of technology, make it double” it seems like they know each other, they chat on occasion. And I think that extends to other Service workers. He would be friendly at the grocery store when something doesn’t work out r at the restaurant when getting the wrong dish. You know like millennials are, because he is a millennial.

That we go to Kamski. I’m not sure why he seems nervous while talking to Chloe because I’m pretty sure with all his experience he doesn’t get nervous in front of a pretty woman, that seems like it would be really bad for the job. I don’t know what’s with this, maybe cause she’s an android and he’s not sure how to interact with her? But he is very polite to her, greets her and asks for Kamski. Despite her being an android, he supposedly hates. He is less polite to Kamski, but he’s a little shit, who honestly is wilfully withholding information from the police, which is a crime, but he’s rich so I guess he gets away with it.

 So, what about the Stickers than? Let’s have a look at the Stickers and see what we have.

I’m just gonna list what we see there, so you don’t have to get through my grainy screenshots and also, it’s accessible for screenreaders.

We have three categories, let’s start with anti Android: -“We don’t bleed the same color” -a blue triangle, crossed out, underneath it says: “No more androids”

That’s it, only two, we know he doesn’t like androids but like mentioned before he is still really polite to them, well his relationship with Connor is starting bumpy and based on player choices might get bumpier. But what is it, he hates? He doesn't like androids in their non-deviated state because of what humans want them to be, he hates that humans basically built human shaped slaves. And honestly, I kinda get it. Connor shoots the Tracis? Hank likes Connor less. Hank shoots Chloe, Hank is mad. Connor spares them? Hank tells him he did the right thing. Connor asked him why he didn’t want him to chase Kara across the highway and the first thing he says is “You could have died” before he remembers he’s supposed to hate androids. Yes, he gives positive feedback when Connor shoots the kitchen android but he was actively threatening all of their lifes.

Next, we have a sticker mentioning an ex-wife, only one. It says: “If I wanted to be ignored I’d talk to my ex-wife” There is something else there but it’s blocked by another sticker.

Seems like classical boomer humour “Haha I hate my ex-wife” or it’s ironic. There is no other instance of an ex-wife being mentioned. For all we know, he might have never been married. Hell he might be gay. Cole might have been adopted. The sticker might be ironic. Or he got it from somewhere and just sticked it on or he did it very shortly after the breakup when he was pretty mad.

Third are the grumpy ones. We have more from them. -“If you’re not a bartender, go away!” twice -“How is my driving? Call: 1-555-IDONTCARE” twice -I’m not grumpy. I just don’t like you.” -“Warning, to avoid injury, don’t tell me how to do my job” -“If you have a complaint, please do to hell.” -“Happy people make me sick”

This screams edgy millennial to me. Also the fact he has stickers twice seems like he just got them somewhere and slapped them on because he found them funny. He didn’t buy them specifically.

The bartender ones? Don’t we all like to make fun of our mental illnesses? He knows he’s an alcoholic, might as well make fun about it. The ones about driving? Wouldn’t you stick them on your car? Why is this in the office? Because they’re stupid but somehow funny, just slap them on there. I’m not grumpy? I would totally say that as well. And I believe people told them he’s grumpy so he probably saw this as fitting. I have to admit I don’t have a specific interpretation to telling him hoe to do his job and the complaint one. The one about happy people? This man is heavily depressed, that’s a coping mechanism, it’s again making fun of your own mental illness. But yes, all in all they boil down to edgy millennial.

 I’m well aware that this is probably not what David Cage intended but to be honest I don’t care what David Cage intended. He tried to push boomer Hank on us with these stickers but the Hank we got was different. I don’t know if that’s Clancy’s doing or if this is just another plothole. But that is my interpretation of Hank, nobody asked for.

Anyway, I love Hank and I’m making it everyone’s problem.

[crispmarshmallow]

If you're still taking fic ideas, I *need* Satine & Anakin BroTP!! How about: while she's on a diplomatic trip to Coruscant, Anakin is surprised to find out something rather un-duchess-like about Satine. Genre is author's choice: humor, angst, action, whatever you want!

Okay, so I started by answering your ask and then it started taking a life of its own. I had to stop myself from making it even longer. I hope you like it. It took a long time to come up with. And so sorry for such a late reply.

i.

Anakin is playing Sabaac with the Duchess of Mandalore. Satine Kryzé.

Or rather Anakin is losing spectacularly at Sabaac against the Duchess of Mandalore.

He doesn’t even know how he ended up doing this. Actually, he does. However, it is the last thing that he thought he would end up doing.

It started with Obi-Wan - on behalf of the Council - interrupting his patrols upon the Resolute around the Outer Rim to inform him that he is to return to Coruscant with the Duchess in tow. Senator Organa and Padmé are hosting an event for the refugees on both sides of the War and the Duchess is to be an esteemed attendee.

Anakin - ever the obedient Jedi Knight - informed Obi-Wan that he would do as told. However, not without getting in a cheeky quip or two of his own. His former Master had ended the transmission with a highly unimpressed glare.

Anakin might have said something along the lines of I’ll make sure your girlfriend makes it to the Coruscant - safe and sound.

After which he left the Resolute under the charge of Yularen and Ahsoka and made for Mandalore on the Twilight. He picked up the Duchess and her Guard. And set course for Coruscant.

He joined her in the lounging area of the ship, and tried to come up with something to say.

Anakin wanted to know the Duchess better. It bothered him that he didn’t.

The Duchess Satine is an important person to Obi-Wan - even if he denies it. And Obi-Wan is beyond important to Anakin.

So he feels that he should know the woman that captured Obi-Wan’s heart. After all, Obi-Wan knows Padmé very well.

He wanted to know what was beneath all the righteousness and pacifism and politics.

However, Anakin has never really been talented when it comes to conversations with women that are not Padmé or women that don’t violently dismantle battle droids for a living.

He cleared his throat. “I’m afraid I’m not much company, your highness.” He couldn’t help adding, “Obi-Wan has always been better at this sort of thing.” He sneaks a glance at Satine. Oh, he didn't know her well enough to know how she would take that.

He was pleasantly surprised to find that she seemed to be fighting a small smile at his comment. “Please, Master Skywalker. You overestimate Obi-Wan’s skills.” She put down the datapad she had been scrolling through. “Had the Jedi Master been here, I do believe we would have devolved into one of our shouting matches..”

Anakin let out a laugh. Yes, that did sound about right. He had witnessed one of those on the Cornet. And to be fair, that had been the highlight of that particular mission - Obi-Wan and Satine trying to act as though they don’t want to do unspeakable things to each other by shouting at each other.

“In his defense, Obi-Wan only does that with you.” He tried and failed to keep out the suggestiveness out of his word.

“I’m sure.” Satine looked amused, and Anakin knew that she knew what he was doing.

He continued. “Obi-Wan does not lose his cool easily.” He gestured to himself. “I would know.”

“I can imagine that you were a menace to raise, Master Skywalker.”

He grinned. He had been.

Satine looked thoughtful for a moment. “However, I do remember Senator Amidala mentioning that you are often her Jedi protector.”

Anakin froze. Yes. He made sure of that.

“What do you do to keep her company?”

Uh. Anakin’s mind froze. He could improvise when he faced death, but otherwise, he was really bad at it. Satine would not want to know what he and Padmé got up to in their free time if she had a clue.

“We..” His eyes fell onto the box of Sabaac cards that were under the lounge table. He and Ahsoka and Obi-Wan often played it to kill time. He doesn’t know how the tradition began, but it was something they did for fun. Fun is in short supply these days. “We play Sabaac.”

Satine looked at him funnily before asking. “Sabaac?”

Anakin nodded. Maybe too eagerly.

Her eyes fell on the box of Sabaac cards, and her eyes lit up with mischievousness.

“I don’t see why we shouldn’t do the same.”

Anakin blanched. The Duchess played Sabaac?

ii.

And that is how he found himself losing to her.

She played and she played well.

Anakin thinks he should take a few notes as he loses yet another round.

Satine does not hide behind a mask of indifference like Obi-Wan - who admittedly Anakin has never won against - she is a lot like Anakin truthfully. Loathe he may admit it - just smarter.

She tries to intimidate her opponents, and it often works. She always looks so confident that it is unnerving. However, she does not let emotion take over. She does not panic like Anakin does from time to time.

“You’re far too good at this game, Duchess. Are you cheating somehow?”

Satine laughs. “And I would have thought Obi-Wan taught you how to play better.”

Anakin shrugs. “Obi-Wan didn’t teach me.”

“Padmé then?”

Force, no. He sighs. “I learned it on Tatooine.”

She looks surprised. “You’re from Tatooine?”

Anakin wishes he hadn’t brought that up. It brings back bad memories. It brings back the rage. He nods, clenching his jaw.

Satine must have noticed because she tries to steer the topic away from his home planet, but he knows that she is curious. A lot of people are curious about his past.

However, Anakin does not want the Duchess to mistake his reluctance to speak of it as weakness so he divulges a little bit more.

“I watched and learned from the pilots that dropped by at the shop I used to work at.”

Work. Satine must have caught on what he meant. Anakin was brought to the Temple as a child, and he must have been a child when he worked. And often children on Tatooine worked because they had no choice but.

She doesn’t look away. She just slightly deflates at the mention. “I learned it from my sister a long time ago. She learned it from who knows where.” Something in her voice sounds wistful as she speaks of her sister.

They continue their game. At first, it is as if a shadow has been cast upon them. Shadows from their pasts. Nonetheless, they slowly come out of it.

Anakin tries desperately to win. He has always won except against Obi-Wan and he wants to keep it that way if he can help it. Defeating Obi-Wan, Anakin is never sure if he’ll get that good.

They know each other inside and out, but Obi-Wan is not rash like Anakin.

He doesn’t hold back his whining as Satine wins and wins.

She lets loose as they go round by round. She laughs. She smirks. She even curses eloquently under her breath whenever Anakin does catch a rare win.

Anakin wonders if this is who Obi-Wan fell for. He thinks he would understand better if it was.

Unsurprisingly, and to Anakin’s chagrin, Satine wins. She gleefully gathers Anakin’s stack of chips. Her eyes twinkled from the win.

“I remain to be undefeated by anyone when it comes to Sabaac.”

Anakin scowls, though it slowly turns into a smirk. “I would like to see you try playing against Obi-Wan.”

“Oh. I have played against Master Kenobi.” Satine smirks right back at him. “Who do you think taught him?”

iii.

Anakin Skywalker is an interesting person.

Satine thinks as she and he make their way to enter the banquet hall. Apparently, the Jedi Knight had been invited too. Something about being the face of the Republican effort.

She had wanted to get to know him better. Obi-Wan has practically raised the boy and she wanted to see what he had grown up to be.

She knows that Skywalker resorts to unsavory measures when dealing with conflict. He has little regard for the lives of those on the enemy side. She had witnessed that on the Cornet. And she still has a lot to say about it.

However, she decides she quite likes him. He is nice company even if he denies so.

He is a decent Sabaac player too. Just no match for Satine.

It has been ages since she has even played the game. She thinks the last time was with Bo - before everything collapsed upon the two.

She had enjoyed herself during those hours upon the Twilight. And lately, Satine has enjoyed very little - with the Republic and CIS trying to coax her into picking a side, and the Death Watch gaining momentum within her system.

She finally let herself breathe a little. She wonders if Anakin has the same effect on Obi-Wan. The Jedi Master sometimes forgot to look after his own well-being. He had made a habit of it long ago. Maybe he had been born with it.

She shakes off these thoughts as they enter the banquet hall that is full of Senators and Generals and anyone of import. She knows better than to let her mind linger on Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin and Satine had made straight for the ball once they landed, having prepared themselves for their appearance upon the Twilight.

“Duchess Satine!” Bail Organa comes rushing to the pair of them, taking Satine’s hand into his and pressing a light kiss on it. She smiles.

“Senator Organa. It is truly a beautiful event that you have organized and for a very noble cause.”

“We do what we can, Duchess.” He says modestly. He turns his attention to Anakin. “Master Skywalker. We are glad that you could make it.”

Anakin nods his head. “As the Duchess said, it is for a noble cause.”

Satine and Bail continue to exchange pleasantries as Anakin stays quiet beside her - his eyes seem to be scanning the crowd. They continue to do so after Bail leaves and Satine and Anakin venture further into the gathering.

However, they do stop when the Senator Amidala joins them.

“Satine. You made it.” She says as she embraces her tightly. Satine does not often show such affection in public, but she has a soft spot for the Senator. She is a good friend.

“Of course, I did.”

Padmé turns to Anakin, and Satine sees the way her eyes soften - how they seem to glean with something Satine knows better than to name.

“General Skywalker. It is always good to see you.”

He bows. His eyes are as soft as Padmé’s. “And to see you, milady.”

Satine has to suppress a snort. Who does Anakin think he is fooling?

They fall into conversation after that. She does not miss how the eyes of the Senator and Jedi keep seeking each other out.

Satine grabs a glass of champagne from a serving droid. “Oh, and Padmé, do tell me when you are free. I would love to test your skills in Sabaac.”

She sees Anakin stiffen beside her. Padmé regards Satine in confusion. “Satine. I must disappoint you, but I do not even know how to play Sabaac.”

Satine has to hide her sly smile behind her glass as her eyes dart towards Skywalker who has an expression of a child caught doing something he should not be doing.

“Is that so?”

Before Anakin can fumble for an explanation, Senator Chuchi drops by and pulls Satine away. Once she is free, she finds Anakin and Padmé standing a few feet away from her, whispering to each other without looking suspicious as much as possible.

Padmé has an expression of amusement and exasperation and worry.

Satine wonders what Padmé expected. Anakin is the last thing from subtle from what she has seen. She had noticed the way Anakin blushed and fumbled for words when she mentioned Padmé on the Twilight. And she saw the way he was grappling for an explanation when his eyes fell on the Sabaac cards under the table.

Satine is not a politician for nothing. She has not survived this long for nothing.

She continues to study them from afar. She wonders if that was what she and Obi-Wan looked like when they were young and in love.

As if her thoughts conjured the very being, her eyes fall onto Kenobi who is speaking to Senator Mothma.

As if sensing her gaze, he whips his head to her direction. His eyes softened at the sight of her. She is sure hers did the same. She raises her glass in acknowledgment and he smiles at her.

She hesitates before she makes up her mind. After seeing Anakin and Padmé look so content with each other by their side, she decides that she can let herself have that for a short moment or two.

She walks towards Obi-Wan. He notices and excuses himself from the Senator of Chandrilla and makes his own way to her.

“Duchess.” He says, bending to press a kiss on her hand, letting his lips linger a second too long.

“Master Kenobi.” She says, her lips settling into a smile.

“I hope Anakin did not trouble you on your trip here.”

She chuckles. “Of course not.” She pauses before adding. “It is a fine young man that you have raised, Obi-Wan.” She isn’t lying either.

Obi-Wan’s eyes gleam with pride. She knows he is trying hard to hide it, but she knows that Obi-Wan is proud of the man that Anakin Skywalker has become.

“I try.” He simply answers.

Her eyes travel back to Anakin and Padmé. Skywalker has seemed to drag Amidala onto the dance floor - holding her a little too close to be deemed innocent.

“I think that Senator Amidala would agree with me.” She doesn’t hide her smile this time. She sneaks a glance at Obi-Wan. He has his eyes on the pair too.

“A little too much of you ask me.” He is trying to restrain his own smile.

She wonders if Obi-Wan sees them in the young pair.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Obi-Wan nervously wipes his palms on his robes before offering her his own hand.

“Can I interest the Duchess with a dance?”

Satine looks at his hand for a few moments.

She and Obi-Wan made their choices years ago. However, who could blame them for letting themselves have these little moments?

She puts her hand in his.

And then Anakin proceeds to adopt Satine into his list of favorite people and so he joins Obi-Wan on his mission to Mandalore. Both of them save Satine and Anakin proceeds to beat the shit out of Maul for going after her and Obi-Wan. Maul lets it slip that Palpatine is a Sith Lord in hops of saving his life. And thus, Anakin and Obi-Wan and Satine and Padmé and Ahsoka and the 501st and 212th proceed to kick Palpatine’s ass out of existence.

[drwcn]

Not to bring up the distasteful teenager memory of Twilight LMAO, but yall remember that part of the story where it is revealed after Rosalie turns into a vampire she goes and devours every single one of the men who r*ped her.

Fierce Corpse!Qin Su coming for Jin Guangshan’s life.

JIGGY was always looking for ways to make a fierce corpse wasn’t he? Well consider this.

Madam Qin confronts JGY, but it was already too late. Qin Su was already pregnant. JGY, being the dumbest smart person, realized he has fucked up, but what to do? It’s not like he can tell Madam Qin he knocked up his own sister accidentally. Unknowing of this, Madam Qin then went to Qin Su to tell her the truth. Surely even if that degenerate won’t stop this marriage, once Qin Su finds out they are related, she wouldn’t go through with it.

Well, little did Madam Qin expect, once Qin Su finds out, she’s so overcome with disgust she takes her own life (canon compliant, I think? idk what that episode was about to be honest. I always assumed Jiggy drugged her to keep her quiet, but Qin Su was the one to take her own life. Jin Rusong is at best a ball of cells at this stage and abortion is a staple trope of cdrama don’t @ me. I take no criticisms.)

Well shit, now Qin Su is half a step away from death. Jiggy discovers this first, and is like O.O oh feck, but also... opportunity????  He recruits evil gremlin extraordinaire Xue Yang, and beginner’s luck takes them to a successful resurrection.

*cue Mary Shelly shaking her head from beyond the grave or... in the future....technically.*

Qin Su is rightfully like wtf JGY, but Jiggy is like aight sis i know you’re mad, but hey now that everyone knows what’s the deal here, I think we have a common enemy: Jin Guangslut. Should we kill him or should we kill him?

Xue Yang: yo so .... you still gonna get married or what?

Qin Su: if you even think about getting married i swear to god -

JGY: ....okay, how about “fake” marry. Once dear old Dad is dead, we can...idk have an amicable separation. I can even set you up on a date with a guy I know in the fierce corpse community. His sister is still in my basement come to think of it -

QS: what

JGY: what

QS: you are a fucking nutjob, Jiggy, you know that? I can’t believe I was attracted to you.

JGY: first of all that’s hurtful, but... hey at least you didn’t insult my mother.

QS: why would i? our mothers are innocent. *deep sigh* okay fine, how should we kill JGS, I vote for castration. Also *points to the black veins on her paste-y complexion* this is gonna be a problem.

XY: *quirk an eye brow* realllly starting to see the family resemblance now. Don’t worry I got make up to cover that up. Also gotta find you some blush, so you don’t look so ... undead.

~

JGY “so we get prostitutes -”

QS “No. Jiggy, I’m sensing some internalized classism. Let’s just sic Xue Yang on him and be done with it.”

JGY “....you were less bossy before.”

QS “I was also less dead before. Also, Xue Yang doesn’t mind, do you dear?”

XY *eating the candied pastries QS got him* “Nah, not at all, jiejie. I can wear a dress and get dolled up if you want, but I want silk and the dress needs to be tailored. Bespoke. *points to his plate* These are great. Do you have more?”

JGY: *facepalm* what have done.

QS: created a fierce corpse you can’t control. Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it brother?

~

QS “I feel bad for Chifeng-zun. If I had to sit and watch you and Lan Xichen make eyes at each other over the guqin day in and day out....”

JGY “Oi, you’re not even my real wife.”

QS “Doesn’t mean I can’t nag you. Also, you have an issue, you know. You can’t just murder your way to the top.”

JGY “I wasn’t -”

QS “Save it. If you give Xue Yang enough candy, he’ll tell you anything.”

JGY “NMJ is a problem. He disrespects -”

QS “You think maybe the reason he thinks you’re a untrustworthy little shit is because you are...an untrustworthy little shit? Also he’s always violent and aggressive towards you...yeah ‘cause you’ve been playing Terrible Temper Tango on repeat for weeks.”

JGY “.....................” *well sis does have a point, maybe i should re-evaluate my strategy “Then what do you suggest I do?”

QS:  I believe Xue Yang calls it “when it doubt, fuck it out.” 

JGY: ...............................you two need to stop hanging out together. 

~

Jin Guangyao and Qin Su spend many nights in the secret chamber plotting together. Apparently the Jin crazy can both be inherited and developed. Qin Su decides her second life is rather nice, and having power is nice too, but she’d rather have some friends. 

*Jiggy and Qin Su’s Ten Step Plan to Un-Fuck the Cultivation World*

Aka Jiggy’s illegal but necessary emergency U-Turn. 

Step 1: Start playing some nice music ffs, and maybe when NMJ is in a better mood, the venerated Triad can be the venerated Triad. ;) 

Step 2: start treating MXY better. He could be useful as a loyal brother. 

Step 3:  Sic him on Nie Huaisang. They seem like they could do well together. Also, the easiest way to get through to NMJ is through his little brother.  

Step 4:  Make Jin Guangshan disappear.

Step 5: Speaking of little brothers, they’re gonna have to eventually deal with Lan Wangji. Even Qin Su’s 78 year old grandma with cataract can see he’s just a liiiiittle hung up on Wei Wuxian, who is unfortunately....dead. 

”How do you suppose we fix this particular problem?” 

”Isn’t there some cultivator prisoner found guilty punishable by death in your single minded cleansing of your political enemies?” 

"Of course. Go on I’m listening, mei-mei.” 

”So while you were off being shady, I did some research. There is a spell. I think a potential trade off could be made if we bargain right. Their soul, which was forfeit anyway, in exchange for a lifetime of protection and financial stability for their families.” 

“>:) dear sister, where have you been all my life I’ll never know.” 

Qin Sun, “Just make sure they’re not too hard on the eye. Lan Wangji doesn’t seem to be the shallow type but one never knows.” 

Step 5: Jiang Wanyin needs an emotional laxative like... last year. Look into resurrecting Jiang Yanli. Once she’s alive, all that Yunmeng Bullshit will resolve, and you will also have a Lotus Pier forever grateful for Jin Guangyao and Qin Su’s kindness. If that doesn’t work...idk get Jiang Wanyin a dog. 

“Okay, hooow are you going to get a woman to give up her soul to -”

“Can we fierce corpse her? Wei Wuxian had a bunch of undead ladies hanging around right?” 

“........worth looking into.” 

Step 6:  Jin Zixuan. Yikes -

JGY “I didn’t kill Jin Zixuan. Wei Wuxian did.” (note: CQL washed WWX of any responsibility for the deaths of others by making it so that the Song of Turmoil caused him to lose control. This, in fact, is not what is written in book canon. WWX did lose control by himself without external influence. I can cherry pick the plot points I want to keep.) 

QS “..........but you sent him to his death.” 

JGY “..........”

QS *Deep sigh* “Who can we throw under the bus this time for Jin Zixuan’s death, Jigs? Someone that won’t be missed...got it. Su She.” 

JGY “He’s loyal to me, he’s an ally -” 

QS “Listen here, once you resurrect Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian, you will have the eternal gratitude of Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan. Who gives a shit about Su Minshan that simpering turd.” 

JGY: True. *he’s understood by now that he could get rid of those who would talk shit, belittle, and disrespect him...but he could always do more with a couple of important influential people who would spread words of his goodness. Stubborn righteous cultivators like the Jiangs, Nies and Lans.* “Also Jin Zixuan’ll be an undead, not able to inherit. We’re safe.” 

QS: “Exactly.” 

Xue Yang: eating candy......... *eye roll* 

Step 7: Because Step 6 didn’t work out, forget about Jin Zixuan. 

JGY: “you know... maybe Jin Zixuan moved on.” 

QS: “Would explain why we couldn’t call his soul back the way we called back Jiang-gu’niang.” Qin Su glances back at Jiang Yanli’s soul-infused clay body in the process of being reanimated (lifted this idea straight from Inuyasha - ahem- kikyo.) “It’s probably better this way. I don’t like the thought of sharing the control of Lanling Jin with more people.” 

JGY:  “Ah, blood of my blood you are indeed.”

Step 8:  Reveal Jin Guangshan’s evil deeds. Once they kill Dear Ol’ Dad, they can just blame EVERYTHING on him and have him be the disgrace of the entire cultivation world, and them the unfortunate children left to do his bidding and trying the best they could to salvage what they can from his trail of ruins.

Step 9: Reunite Wen Ning and Wen Qing. Lie. Blame it all on Jin Guangshan who is too dead to argue in his own defense. If Jiang Wanyin finds out about Wen Qing...well, information gets around. 

JGY “So about that Date.” 

Qin Su: “Yes I distinctively remember you promising me eligible young men of the Fierce Corpse Community.” 

JGY: >:) I’m here to make good on my words. 

Step 10: Reap the benefits of a world restored. 

[dilly-oh]

Three Strikes

    “Listen up, team,” Captain Yamato says, his face deathly serious, “we are going to murder these guys. They are going to be sent home in body-bags. They’re the enemy, and we’re gonna slaughter them.”

    Kakashi glances over at the other team. They look like a bunch of sweaty highschool kids, same as them, though their baseball uniforms look like they’ve seen better days. Or months. Two messy brown-haired boys are passing around a joint, a douchey-looking kid with silver hair is blatantly screwing around on his phone, and another is straight up sleeping on the bench. Their Captain is facing them, hands on his hips as he tries to rouse his teammates, ponytail bouncing at the effort. It seems a lost cause, just like their chances of winning.

    “Even their parents aren’t going to be able to identify their remains.”

    Yamato’s doing that thing again where he gets too serious and starts creeping everyone out. Kakashi looks over at Coach Minato to see if he’s going to put a stop to this, but he’s too busy giggling and sexting his wife to notice. As usual.

    “Kakashi, we’re counting on your pitches to really massacre them, got it?” Yamato fixes him with that soul-killing stare, all blank and dead-eyed.

    “Mmm,” Kakashi hums noncommittally, his lower face hidden behind his catcher’s mitt. He finds the smell comforting. Also, Asuma is sitting next to him, and reeks of a nauseating combination of B.O., cigarette smoke and Kurenai’s perfume. As if they’re fooling anyone by claiming to be ‘just friends’. 

    “Can we hurry this up?” Genma cuts in, snapping his gum. “I have a hot date in, like, two hours.” 

    “I’m sitting right here,” Raido states. “You’re so fucking embarrassing.”

    “Love you too, babe.”

    “Where the hell is Gai?” Asuma asks, glancing around.

    “He ate too many protein bars again. He’s in the can.”

    Kakashi can’t wait for this to be over so he can go home and chill with the dogs. All eight of them. He makes a mental reminder to pick up some more Milkbones on the way home. 

    The thing is, Kakashi is damn good at baseball, even though he loathes it. He’d drop it in a heartbeat and spend all his free time playing CoD, except his father insists he play a sport to ‘round out his resume’. As if his straight A’s since Kindergarten and 160 IQ wasn’t enough. Kakashi’s pitches are precise, powerful, and virtually unstoppable. The ball almost seems to move as if he controls it himself. He strikes everyone out with 99.9% accuracy, able to analyze an opponent in a single glance and determine their weaknesses. It’s the reason their team has made it so far, despite his teammate’s determined efforts to goof off. 

    The two coaches finally get their shit together and shake hands (the other coach is an elderly man who winks at Asuma for some reason, who groans). The game begins, and Kakashi takes his place on the pitcher’s mound, rolling the ball soothingly around in his hand. The other team’s Captain is up first. After adjusting his ponytail under his helmet, he walks to the plate, taps the ground with his bat, and looks up at Kakashi just as he winds up to throw.

    He’s a nerdy looking kid with gangly arms, a scar over the bridge of his nose, and a determined scowl on his face. 

    He’s the most gorgeous thing Kakashi’s ever seen. 

    The ball slips off his fingers, goes spinning off in a corkscrew, and clocks a drink right out of a bystander’s hand. Soda sprays everywhere, thoroughly coating a good portion of the meager crowd. 

    “Foul!” the umpire cries. The boy blinks in surprise, then squares up again, bat waving tauntingly. Kakashi gets another ball and winds up.

    This time his ball hits a car in the parking lot, the burglar alarm wailing away. The car’s owner wails even louder.

    “Foul!” 

    Kakashi throws another foul. And another. 

    “Ball!”

    The boy walks. He glances at Kakashi as he trots by him, confused. Kakashi keeps his eyes on the ground, cursing inwardly.

    This will not happen again.

    It happens again.

    And again.

    And again. 

    It’s not so bad when the boy’s on second base, because then he’s directly behind Kakashi and out of his line of sight. But when he’s on first or third, he can see him out of the corner of his eye, and his gaze is naturally drawn to him, concentration wavering. It’s even worse when he’s on the bench, because then Kakashi can see him in his natural state, smiling and chatting amicably with his teammates. 

    But nothing compares to when he’s up to the plate, standing ready for the pitch. The intensity of those deep brown eyes is staggering, making his legs weak. He walks each time, Kakashi’s near-perfect pitches always spinning out of control and destroying something of value. He’s just glad he’s hit mostly inanimate objects and not people. 

    After several innings of this, Captain Yamato has had enough, and he calls a time-out, dragging Kakashi to the side of the dugout for a polite chat. 

    “Kakashi, the fuck is going on? You’re throwing the damn game! Literally!”

    “I’m sorry,” Kakashi mumbles, miserable. “I...I don’t know-”

    “Are you feeling alright?” Captain Minato has decided to finally do his job and actually act like a Coach, walking over to join them.

    “M’fine.” Kakashi shakes his head, hiding his face behind his glove. “It’s just...I keep getting...distracted.” Yamato sputters indignantly, but Minato’s studying him, a thoughtful look on his face. He glances over at the other team, and Kakashi’s traitorous eyes follow, latching onto the boy, who is busy scolding his teammates again, cheeks flushed with frustration. Kakashi’s ears start to burn. Minato chuckles and he hurriedly snaps his gaze back.

   “...I think I see what the problem is.” He pats Kakashi’s shoulder with a knowing grin. “Listen, Kakashi...why don’t you sit this one out? Just...relax and enjoy the view.”

    It feels like Kakashi’s ears are going to burn down to nubs.

    “What?! He can’t sit out, we need him! How else are we going to bathe in their blood?”

    “Bathe in their- what? Christ, Yamato, it’s just a game. Calm down. Are we going to have to have another talk?”

    Kakashi drags his feet back to the bench and plonks himself down. The others glance over at him in concern. 

    “What’s up, Kakashi?” Genma asks. “Constipated?”

    “Gai, give him some of your protein bars.” Raido elbows the other boy in the gut, who groans. 

    Nevermind, they’re just idiots. Kakashi cowers behind his mitt in shame. 

    The game continues, and his teammates manage to do remarkably well without him. Gai makes a surprisingly good substitute pitcher, although he screams “Dynamic Pitch!!” every time he throws the ball until Coach Minato tells him to cut it out. Asuma is jacked enough that he can hit a home-run every time he connects, and Kakashi is pretty sure the other team is terrified of Yamato and his intimidating stare. The game makes a quick turnaround, and in the blink of an eye, they’ve won. He’s been staring nonstop at the boy, too, so that might have something to do with the quick win. 

    Everyone cheers and high-fives while Kakashi quickly grabs his stuff, shoves it in his duffle, and scuttles off towards the bus. Coach Minato is suddenly next to him, blocking his way. 

    “Why don’t you go say hi?” he suggests, nodding his head at the other team.

    Kakashi can’t think of anything more horrible.

    “This was an away game,” Minato reminds him. “You might never see him again.”

    ...Dammit. 

    Dropping his bag in the dirt, Kakashi forces himself to turn around and walk robotically towards the boy, who is just wrapping up a speech to his teammates about how they’re still winners for doing their best, but no-one’s really listening. He turns away from them, shaking his head in exasperation, and blinks in surprise as Kakashi stops in front of him. He’s even cuter up close. Kakashi keeps his eyes on the ground to keep from being blinded. 

    “...Hi.”

    “Uh. Hey.” The boy regards him warily. “You alright out there? The Coach made you sit down.”

    “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” Kakashi pauses long enough for the silence to turn painfully awkward. “I’m Kakashi, by the way.” 

    “Iruka.” God, even his name is cute. Kakashi scrambles to think of something to talk about. 

    “So, um. Do you...like baseball?”

    “Not really, no,” Iruka answers. “I’d rather be home playing CoD, to tell the truth.”

    “Oh my God, me too,” Kakashi slumps over, awash with relief. “Have you seen the latest updates? They have a new map that-”

    The next five minutes are incomprehensible gibberish to everyone but them as they debate the best maps, guns, and loadouts.

    “Iruka, let’s go!” a voice calls impatiently from the parking lot. 

    “Yeah, yeah, just a minute,” he calls back, waving at his teammates. Kakashi’s stomach tightens. 

    This is it. His last chance. 

    “Hey, uh...” He takes a deep breath. “You wanna...hang out sometime?” 

    Iruka stares back at him blankly. 

    “I live, like, twenty miles away from you.”

    “Oh.” Kakashi blinks. “Right. Sorry.” He feels like a complete idiot. Here he was, thinking he actually had a chance-

    “Here’s my phone number. Message me so I can friend you and we’ll play later.”

    ...Then again, maybe he did.

    They exchange numbers, Kakashi happily adding a dolphin emoji after Iruka’s name. 

    “So is this a friend thing, or a boyfriend thing?” Iruka asks, blunt as can be. Kakashi just gapes at him, wide-eyed in horror. His face feels like it’s on fire, and he desperately wishes he’d brought his glove to hide behind.

    “...Only...if you want it to be,” he croaks out. Iruka stares at him a beat longer, then breaks out into a blinding grin. 

    “Yeah, sure, why not. You were pretty cute out there, spazzing out every time I was up to bat. I’m surprised you didn’t hit a bird.”

    Oh my God. He knew. Oh my GOD. 

    “I have to warn you, though...” Iruka went on, grinning cheekily, “three strikes, and you’re out.”

    Kakashi has never been more in love.

(Written for @kakairu-fest, Week 1 Prompt: Summer Sports)

[occasionalstorytelling]

Summary: A short drabble in which Bucky thinks about the time in his life when he COULD have just run up on a stranger, beat them up, and take what he wanted. Life with HYDRA was very different than life after deprogramming.

Read it here:

“Let’s take the shield, Sam. Let’s take the shield and do this ourselves.”

Sam had been trying to sleep. Sam needed so much sleep. Pretty much everyone except for Bucky needed so much sleep, at least in comparison to Bucky. Bucky didn’t need much sleep at all. Sam shifted then, and sat up to look at Bucky. “We can’t just run up on the man, beat him up, and take it.”

He was wrong. Bucky could do it. Walker didn’t even look that tough. It wasn’t like it would have been hard.

“Don’t you remember what happened the last time we stole it?” Sam asked.

“Maybe,” Bucky said. Of course he did. He remembered everything.

It wasn’t that Bucky missed HYDRA, it really wasn’t. He’d never go back. He’d never want to go back. Even just thinking about it made his skin crawl…but he didn’t have the luxury of a broken long term memory to hide behind anymore. He remembered everything, and he remembered that there was a brief time when life had felt like magic.

The whole beginning of it was bad, for a lot of reasons. From the amputation-without-painkillers on, it was a shitty, shitty time. HYDRA spent hours, days, weeks breaking him and molding him into the Winter Soldier, and everyone knew that was what was happening. There wasn’t a tech around who didn’t know the latest details of a particular Soldier trigger, there wasn’t a HYDRA goon who was afraid of him, because they all knew what was being done to him. Soldier was as likely to get a pat on the back as he was to get kicked in the face, and it could have come from anyone.

People get old, and then they die. Everyone except for Bucky, at least. Slowly, the techs disappeared and were replaced with new ones, one that didn’t know as much. HYDRA was very concerned with its secrets, after all, and the details that allowed for controlling the Winter Soldier was a big secret. HYDRA goons stopped laughing at Soldier and started giving him a wider berth. Techs got jumpy if Soldier even so much as twitched. A few people still knew the main triggers, but their visits were few and far between.

It was much nicer to be feared than it was to be tortured.

It wasn’t that Bucky had liked anything HYDRA had done to him or for him, but…he remembered how it was after the higher ups decided Soldier was HYDRA’s most valuable asset. All of a sudden, no more sitting alone in damp and uncomfortable cells, now it was constant surveillance in rooms that actually had places to sit. Mission debriefs started including painkillers and muscle relaxants, and it sucked that that was Soldier’s standard for “comfort,” but at the time, it was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. They fed him, and it was like he was a fancy purebred guard dog—if he didn’t eat, they coaxed and pleaded and somehow found better food and brought it to him. Soldier was valuable, and the higher ups wanted him safe. And the techs didn’t know the triggers anymore.

There was a mission, early on, when Soldier damaged his ankle. Returning to the base, he all but collapsed. He couldn’t stop himself from falling, and one of the goons thought Soldier was trying to attack him. Everything after that was colored with electricity and triggers and punishment. HYDRA had been a single unit, and every single person there was invested in breaking Soldier.

Years later, there was another mission, where Soldier had waited for days in a particular spot, waiting for the target to appear, when a goon had fumbled the delivery at the last moment and the target got away. Soldier had turned away from the gun, expecting a punishment for failure, but instead, the goon cowered. Like he thought Soldier was going to hurt him. Soldier wanted to hurt him; that goon had interfered with a mission. But no matter how long he waited, there was no punishment for failure. Soldier began to get a sense of the new rules. He wondered how many people even remembered the punishments anymore.

Once, on a debrief, they shocked Soldier so hard he remembered a boy with blonde hair getting beat up in an alley. Bucky hated this memory of a memory. Soldier went crazy (well, crazier than usual) and killed three techs and five goons. Soldier came back to himself when one of the higher ups came to fix the problem. Soldier pressed himself into a corner, and even though he was muzzled, he begged not to be punished. Killing a non-target had been a particularly bad offense when they were first training him. Through the muzzle, he went unheard. Soldier almost went into cardiac arrest, he was so scared.

The higher up looked around. He lightly kicked one of the bodies. He left, without punishing Soldier. Later, Soldier learned that it was the techs who had been threatened with punishment—it was the techs who were at fault for the murders, not Soldier. Soldier could kill anyone wanted. Everyone (except Solider) was replaceable, and HYDRA’s most valuable asset was to be kept alive, active, and happy. Things got really good for Soldier after that.

Solider learned to speak up on missions, after that. A goon would try to suggest a plan, and Soldier would (politely) explain why it wouldn’t work, and if the goon pressed harder, Soldier pressed back. Soldier hit a goon across the face, with the metal arm, too. He took seven bullets to the back in retaliation. The goon who had fired on him never appeared again.

When Soldier walked through the hall, people got out of the way. Even in his weakest, most vulnerable states, people tiptoed, they were careful around him. There was yelling in the lab one day and Soldier screamed at the overstimulation and everyone went deadly silent. It was amazing.

Soldier was valuable. If he could’ve asked for anything, he would have gotten it. HYDRA loved him, and they did their best to show it. Sometimes, goons were even offered to Soldier, as a way to blow off some steam for Soldier, as a punishment for the goons. As if Soldier was an angry volcano to which the people made sacrifices. Soldier beat the victims into the ground and imagined they were people who deserved it, even though Soldier always had trouble keeping track of exactly who that was. The techs would clean the blood off his hands and seem grateful just to be alive, that Soldier’s wrath wasn’t turned on them. When they bound Soldier, or put him on ice, it was totally different than it had been at the beginning—they weren’t putting away a toy, they were restraining a dangerous creature. Soldier liked being dangerous, he liked when the HYDRA techs were afraid of him.

It was hard not to think about it, sometimes. Bucky could still remember how that had felt.

Being a good guy was hard. Objectively speaking, things were more difficult when you cared who lived and died, when your goal was defense rather than attack. Being Soldier had been easy. Being deprogrammed-Bucky was hard.

He’d visited Pepper after Tony’s funeral, trying to make amends. Pepper had let him in her house, and offered him coffee. They talked for a long time. Bucky wished she’d been there before, when he’d really needed a buffer between him and Tony. Pepper showed Bucky the house. Her and Tony’s child, Morgan, was watching a movie in the living room.

It was some new Disney thing. Bucky remembered when Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs first came out in the 1930s, but now Disney was huge, a household name. This movie wasn’t animated like Bucky remembered. It was about famous Disney villains’ kids, Pepper explained. On the screen, a girl with white hair looked at the camera with wide, green eyes.

“Don’t you ever miss screaming at people and making them run away from you?” she asked.

Bucky froze. The boy in the movie told her that no, he didn’t miss that, why would any normal person miss doing extreme violence on their enemies—Pepper was saying something.

“It’s a cute movie,” Pepper laughed.

“Yeah,” Bucky said. He swallowed. His throat felt dry and horrible. He excused himself, he was sorry, but he had to leave, he had to get home. That night, he almost threw up, kneeling over the toilet on the cold bathroom floor. He didn’t miss HYDRA, he didn’t miss killing people, he didn’t miss making people scared…

There were plenty of people who were still scared of him, anyway. Bucky took deep breaths and managed to stand up. This was yet another thing that he would not explain to his therapist. He didn’t miss HYDRA, that was true. He didn’t want to kill or hurt anyone ever again, also true. But did he miss the days when he felt more in control, like the only thing that mattered was his physical strength, and problems were “how hard do I hit” and not “how much money do I have for groceries this month” and “how do I talk to people” and stuff like that? He had to admit, things were hard now. Sometimes, he did miss when things were easy.

“I’ll help you in case you forgot. Sharon was branded enemy of the state, and Steve and I were on the run for two years,” Sam said.

Bucky wanted to roll his eyes. Sam was so great at listing things that had happened, but had conveniently forgotten that Bucky had spent a good chunk of that time frozen in Wakanda, voluntarily suffering over a year of nonstop nightmares while Shuri tried to figure out how to deprogram him. What Bucky wouldn’t have given just to be on the run.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna live the rest of my life la vida loca,” Sam was saying.

Again, Bucky held back the urge to eye-roll or make a sarcastic comment. What did Sam think Bucky’s life was like, anyway? Maybe living on the run would be an upgrade from the dark apartment with no bed or anything. There had been that farmers’ market with the good plums in Romania…actually, Bucky couldn’t go back there. That was where the SWAT team had tried to kidnap him after the UN thing, and rule number one of being on the run was no going back to where you’d already been…but there’d be other farmers’ markets.

“We just got our ass handed to us by super soldiers, and we got nothing,” Sam sighed.

Bucky suddenly had a bad idea. There was another super solider out there…Isaiah was still around. Sam would like to meet Isaiah, Bucky was sure of it.

“Not entirely true,” Bucky said. “There’s someone you should meet.”

[vashak]

Different worlds: Ash (1)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Originally posted on 3 June 2019 in Turkish here.

Previously, I wrote about what I thought of Ash’s father and now it’s time to delve into what kind of damage James caused to Ash’s mental state.

Content/trigger warning: This meta discusses child sexual abuse.

James Callenreese is a bad parent in every sense of the word, but unlike the Cape Cod police, he’s not so degenerate as to claim that a 7-year-old boy seduced his abuser. And Ash knows that his father doesn’t blame him for getting raped. This allows him to be confident in the knowledge that what his abusers were doing to him is wrong and that it’s not his own fault. That’s why Ash never takes the responsibility of the abuse he endured upon himself. Consequently, he never thinks that he “deserved” to be raped.

Ash: They’re no different from each other. One does it is a cheap hotel stinking of piss and the other under a down quilt. That’s about it, really. 

Their eyes… are all empty. There’s nothing in there. It’s like you’re peeking into an empty dark room… Their eyes all look the same. And they all say the same thing… That I asked for it!

One day, I will make them pay for what they did!

Blanca (thinking): Fear and rage… When rage conquers fear, he turns into a cruel demonic beast…

Ash: Are you gonna tell baldy about this?

However, there is another incident that affected Ash just as much as getting raped and that is his first murder. Like I mentioned here, the adults who were responsible for Ash’s safety failed to protect him, and so Ash took matters into his own hands and killed his abuser to put an end to what he was doing to him. Obviously, 8-year-old Ash was the victim in this case and couldn’t be held responsible in any way for the killing. But his words to Eiji in the following scene tells us that he holds himself fully responsible.

What I mean is, whatever the reason, Ash simply admits to killing a person. He talks about this incident only once and only to Eiji with no “but”s or “because”s scattered in-between, just the facts. Why is this important? Because Ash thinks that he lost his innocence at that age when he killed his baseball coach and that his life took an irreversible turn as a result.

The official English version took some liberties with the translation in this scene. Here’s a more direct translation of what Ash says: I’m scared of myself. To think that I killed Shorter… I don’t even know how many people I killed until now. And I feel nothing. Nothing…

It is in this scene that we witness just how traumatic killing is for Ash. He’s crying because he came to realise that he’s slowly losing his human side. Deep down Ash feels like he has to pay for all the lives he took regardless of the circumstances. So he doesn’t think it’s even possible for him to lead a different, a more “normal” life, because he doesn’t see himself worthy of one in the first place.

I believe James is the root cause of why Ash came in with this toxic mindset. If there’s anything that caused Ash to get hurt more than his father’s negligence, it is his helplessness that Ash seems to forgive him for. Perhaps James didn’t blame his son for getting raped or told him that he deserved it, but we know that he called him a troublemaker.

I have this headcanon that I think kind of goes along with the canon… Maybe? Here it goes:  James is overwhelmed with all the horrible stuff that happened to his son and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He feels helpless and frustrated, and yells at Ash saying things like “Why does trouble always find you?” and “It’s as if you were born with a streak of bad luck.” And little Ash takes his father’s thoughtless rambling to heart.

Then, as we know, Ash is swept up in a life of crime and violence where he has to play by its relentless rules to survive another day. He suffers through all kinds of cruelty and abuse. He kills to defend himself and the members of his gang. But then, these killings for self-defence slowly become mass murders as we see with the “vendetta” with Arthur’s gang.

Contrary to Arthur, Ash has no desire to gain power and become a crime lord. He doesn’t see people around him as rivals or makes it his life’s ambition to destroy them. Ash only hunts because he is being hunted. Gang politics concern him only because he feels responsible for the safety of his gang members. Ash doesn’t want this kind of life. But we shouldn’t forget that Ash never knew a different kind of life, because he was never allowed to live differently. And Ash knows very well that he’s already in it too deep, so he thinks he’s condemned to live this life whether he wants it or not.

Naturally, this is a very destructive mindset. Eiji realizes early on that Ash has been caught up in this vicious cycle and tries to free him. He tells Ash, “You’re not a leopard. You can change your fate,” and later offers, “Come to Japan with me. You can do anything you want there.” Whenever Eiji suggests these possibilities Ash is always surprised at first. Like it’s simply inconceivable for him that another person would offer to guide him with only his well-being in mind. But these possibilities seem too far away to Ash. That’s why he smiles bitterly whenever Eiji brings up this conversation, but at the same time, he never outright rejects what Eiji is suggesting. Although it may seem like he’s doing that because he doesn’t want to hurt Eiji’s feelings, I feel like Ash actually allows himself to dream in those moments.

We all know the answer to the question “Why did Ash become so attached to Eiji?” To summarize, it’s because Eiji, being an outsider to Ash’s world, saw him as a person, as a friend who is around the same age as him, and because Eiji gave Ash a part of himself without expecting anything in return. Without realising, Eiji is calling out to the remnants of humanity in Ash. Eiji, who is often associated with birds and flying throughout the story, symbolizes freedom for Ash. So the fact that Ash grew so attached to Eiji actually reveals his desire to set his soul free, break with his past and seek atonement.

But the events that follow don’t align with Eiji’s wishful thinking at all. Trouble keeps following Ash and gradually threatens Eiji too. Ash realises after a while that Eiji is not only in danger but is directly being targeted by Ash’s enemies. And Eiji getting shot in the end is a cruel wake-up call for Ash. 

As the lyrics of RED suggest, at that point Ash confronts with the “fact” that he was the reason Eiji almost died because he was too “selfish” to let him go (I don’t think that’s a fact nor that Ash was being selfish, but I assume that’s what Ash thought, so I put those words in quotes). And Blanca is not helping the situation at all.

If James is the reason why Ash thinks he will never be able to live a better life, Blanca is the one who literally engrained this mindset in Ash. Why? Different from all those assholes like Golzine who see Ash as a wild and beautiful beast or a disposable toy to be sold and used, Blanca is someone who Ash trusts and even he thinks it’s impossible for Ash to lead a normal life.  (likely triggered by what happened in his own past). When Blanca first appears in the story, he tells Ash that “a rabbit and a lynx can never be friends.” Their world is different from ours, he means to say, which is exactly the opposite of all the things that Eiji was trying to make Ash believe.

On the other hand, Blanca understands Ash. That’s why he takes him to the hospital where Eiji is being treated so that Ash can say “sayonara” to him before the final showdown with the enemy. Seeing Eiji lying unconscious on the hospital bed is like a slap in the face for Ash. He’s once again confronted with how close he came to losing the most important person to him. So to keep Eiji safe, Ash decides never to see him again and he tells Blanca so later when they meet in Central Park. His monologue here reveals Ash’s inner turmoil between his desire to cling to the feelings Eiji sparked in him and his conviction that he’s not worthy of it at all.

Thinking of the story of Banana Fish as a whole, and especially the ending, it seems clear which side won…

…right?

Read the next part of the meta here.

[chanyeolyh]

aight i’m gonna have to request that none of you look really hard at this account because it is -75% finished and it’s ugly and that’s just not my aesthetic, i swear. i’m stella and i am always late for everything and if you cannot accept that as who i am then... honestly i understand i'm tired of my shit, too. i'm bring this charismatic asshole, chanyeol, to everyone. he's difficult and it's okay if you want to fight him, i understand. message me or like this if you want to plot and i'll come knocking at your inbox door!

* — ⌜ kang1, yoon jeonghan ⌟  ↝  has anyone else seen the kang heir walking around the hill lately ? their name is CHANYEOL and they are the kang’s oldest child. they’re twenty-four and currently a graduate student and paralegal, making their parents proud, i would hope. i heard they can be very playful but lately they’ve been quite manipulative. don’t tell anyone, but someone told me he’s just like his mother. i wonder if that’s true ?

trigger warning: mention of death

∽ to be quite honest chanyeol is the time to taunt you while your parents aren’t looking and get you in trouble while smirking and sticking his tongue out behind your parents back. he’s that bad kid that parents love and compare their children to. doesn’t really really have a reason for being two-faced. blame it on his mother, after all he learnt from the most two-faced person of all. ∽ grew up with a great father (who was kinda absent in his life??? usually busy??? but chanyeol loved his dad and understood) and a not so great mother who crushed him under her expectations. kinda feel like he had it worse growing up, because at first he was the shining star and then after his younger sibling was born, he was deemed a disappointment and the other sibling was promoted for shining star. chanyeol understands. he was better and naturally talented. chanyeol was the type who had to work hard to be acknowledged. thought he’d love no longer being under his mother’s thumb, but turns out he’s a normal kid and still craved his momma’s love and attention. ∽ surprisingly, and probably to his mother’s disappointment, he’s never hated or envied any of his siblings??? even if he was no longer the favorite and his mother had pretty much written him off as “no longer the best”, he freakin’ loves his little buddies and honestly views them as the best things that happened to him??? give him big brother of the year award, will 100% kill for his siblings. ∽ do not get him wrong, he knows just how twisted he can be and is… he hates being compared to his mother, but he’s more like her than he’d ever care to admit, and he blamed her for trying to mold him into a mini her. literally was told that no one in the world mattered except himself, and people were obstacles he had to climb over and use. ∽ does his best to make sure his siblings do not end up like himself or his mother because his own dynamic is toxic and bad and being a manipulative son of a bitch is the last thing he’d want them to be. a little hypocritical because he will adamantly insist they not do something and then turn around and do it himself, but he’s already tainted so he doesn’t see it as a big deal. ∽ siblings can do no wrong in his eyes??? don’t talk bad about him or he’ll make your life hell. king of spreading rumors, but usually has a good reason as to why he’s spreading them… for furthering his own goals or revenge. yep. good fantastic reasons. ∽ the death of his father kinda made him worse??? his father was always telling him not to do this, to consider other people, etc. but he doesn’t have that influence any more and his mom??? she plays so dirty??? silently at war with her, but damn do they look like a perfect mother - son out in the public eye. his mother was probably indifferent toward him at first, however since he’s been snooping around she’s also trying to bring him down. unfortunately for her, he’s a better snake than she is. ∽ the local polite thinks he’s a bad son, however, because he straight up accused her of doing something fishy but all they saw was a heartbroken woman sobbing loudly about losing her husband. they were old and quick to jump to a damsel’s defense, so the case is closed but he’ll pry it back open with his teeth if that’s what it takes. ∽ was going to pursue a career in music (in fact graduate with a degree in music), however now he’s interested in law. doesn’t plan to be a prosecutor, however being a paralegal has its perks and he’s learnt a lot. working to become a private investigator because as long as he doesn’t get caught, he can be as dirty as he wants. ∽ has his own place, but depending on where his siblings are located (if they also live alone/with him/with their mother), he often stays at the family home to be closer to his siblings. might be a dad bit paranoid something might happen to them. but behind closed doors, his mother has begun to threaten him and the easiest way to attack would be his beloved siblings. doesn’t have a fear that their lives are in danger, but wouldn’t put it past her to try and turn them against him??? ∽ actually really likes investigating things and the prosecutor he’s a paralegal for really let’s him be hands on so he’s learnt what he can’t do, what he can do and what he can’t do but can so long as he doesn’t get caught. ∽ honestly, chanyeol is a snarky and sarcastic guy, but it’s not hard for him to make friends either??? somehow charming and affable, but it’s really hard to know whether or not to take him seriously??? also have to be mad careful what you say around him, he's very interested in drama and he will spread things around if it benefits him or he simply does not like you. :) ∽ naturally flirtatious but 95% of the time he’s just trying to have fun and doesn’t really mean anything. noncommittal af. has had maybe one or two serious relationships and in those he either broke someone’s heart or someone broke his. and yet his bedroom is a revolving door so. honestly hooks up with people as a stress reliever but at least he’s up front about it, if you catch feelings it’s not on him; he’s surprisingly against leading someone he’s sleeping with on. unfortunately, he is not against leading someone he's not sleeping with on. ∽ surprisingly playful??? likes laughing at others??? really likes riling others up, if you give him a good reaction you’re just gonna be a target for him. usually not malicious, it’s just entertaining for him. ∽ veryveryvery private. he’ll ask a hundred questions about your personal life, but his lips are sealed in regards his. cryptic af and also very flippant??? his mind can change on a dime??? ∽ confrontational??? kinda??? but more as a source of entertainment… he’s got issues. ∽ very fake. very much a chameleon in that he changes colors to fit any situation. a pathological liar, kinda??? lies a lot. ∽ kinda just a bad guy. but it’s because he has hard time opening up to others and being vulnerable??? his mom really messed him up so he’s a less put together version of her. less lethal as well, as in he’s actually capable of loving and caring about others. 

give me enemies. people who can't stand him and people he can't stand. did he start a rumor about your muse? can't stand his fake persona? someone who got in trouble as a kid or teenager? couldn't stand your parents constantly compared you to saint chanyeol? maybe he's jealous of your muse for some reason? called him out on his mommy issues and struck a nerve so now he's trying to get back at you?

give me an ex best friend who everyone was like, "if you see one, the other isn't too far behind" and then one year they were at each others throats??? why??? what happened??? no one knows, but everyone knows it had to be big.

there's a rumor going around that you're dating. ironic because the two don't even get along??? but he loves getting under your skin so he's feeding the flames and subtly suggesting that the rumor isn't baseless.

need a convincing fake boyfriend??? chanyeol volunteers for tribute, but you owe him one. :)

a best friend or two??? "chanyeol your a son of a bitch, but that's okay", you can see past the grime and know he has a heart of... well, not gold, but it's shiny! that bestie who goes out and gets drunk with him and listens to him wax poetic about his piano. probably one of few who know he actually really did love the piano.

someone who thinks he's crazy for quietly investigating his own mother??? probably doesn't have all the details on his family life, and because you're taking such a "noble" approach he can't stand you. 

general friends??? ride or dies??? partner's in crime??? friends only when drunk, anything but when sober??? soft friends he must protect??? a squad of manipulative assholes???

he doesn't do relationships and that's probably because you broke his heart. :(

absolutely no one is surprised he broke your heart, everyone told you he was bad news but you didn't listen. what happened??? do feelings linger??? or just bitterness??? does he feel bad or not???

friends with benefits. no strings attached so it's all cool. or maybe you're getting attached??? or, what the hell, he's getting attached???

you two fist fought once. and you'll do it again.

someone who wants to help him with his investigation??? honestly, he might show it, but it'd mean so much to him.

aspiring pianist or just a curious hobbyist who is bugging him to help them learn how to play??? for some reason, he just can't say no.

someone very unlikely that he has a crush on??? no one would guess he'd ever fall for this person and even he's super confused??? 

people with cute, innocent crushes on him. he'll either think it's really cute or he's about to tease the hell out of you if he finds out.

an ex, but it's complicated??? they keep coming back to each other and then swear it won't happen again. 

a childhood friend who misses the sweet boy he used to be??? chan's very uncomfortable around them because they remind him of a better version of himself and he doesn't think he can ever go back to that.

need a rumor spread about someone??? go to chan. i will literally have him spread it in threads.

rivals!!! for any reason. 

a good influence that is soft and nice to him and brings out his sincere smiles!!!

you dislike one of his siblings and he's just Not about that??? or maybe he likes you but you hate his sibling(s) so he's conflicted??? to be friends or not to be???

idk really anything

i'll make a sexy list of sexily written plots when i get this mess of a blog under control

i'll also do a stats and bio pages

forgive me i am slow and lazy

[angieschiffahoi]

apart from scylla hating the military for killing her parents, it seems like she hates humans for a separate reason? do you think they had a part to play in ratting them out to the military or that the spree brainwashed her into thinking the humans were bad

When we started to get a full picture of who the Spree were, I was really hoping their actions were based on (misled) political statements and not sentiments of hate towards another people sharing their territory.

It was an option I considered, of course, because humans were obviously the direct reason witches were persecuted in the proto-modern era through Europe & the New World, but also the indirect reason they kept being persecuted after the Accords (this time turning witches themselves into guard dogs). I can see how the Spree would believe humans were the root of all their problems, but I felt their acts of terrorism were more similar to symbolic killings carried on by a domestic terrorist group invested in a social/political conflict, which would target exactly who the military was tried to protect; a statement to threaten the stability of the Accords and discredit the efficency of a military system based on a slave-like draft in complete denial of basic human rights, body agency & freedom. 

I did not want the Spree’s reasons (and Scylla’s in particular) to be born of hatred of another group, because it’s a complicated issue to deal with correctly and I feel like, by just saying “they hate them”, it diminishes the message the Spree is trying to send. “I hate them so I kill them” is way less powerful than “I don’t hate them, but I kill them anyway because they are a necessary sacrifice in a war where you send our children to fight your battles”. 

Of course, terrorism is always wrong whatever the cause, but the message of unhinged hate (which is not expanded upon but taken for granted) impoverishes a battle that could’ve been ideologically right: it doesn’t give you a real morally gray enemy; this way the Spree feels like a normal big bad who’s just driven by extreme emotions instead of logic (which is way more scary, in my opinion). 

Now, to Scylla. I feel like her distrust of humans comes from the fact that she was probably born into the dodger life. Both her parents were dodgers and we don’t know if they didn’t say the words or just deserted later. But since both of them weren’t in the military anymore or never were in the military, it makes sense that she has never really lead a normal life. When you spend your life running, it’s easy to antagonize a common enemy and it’s easy to antagonize a common enemy that is different. A common enemy that isn’t historically prone to sharing spaces with different people and tend to be the first to be antagonistic.

Humans, if we look at them this way, for the Spree and the dodgers are the perfect scapegoat (even if on different levels). 

So, I think she was already prone to dislike or hate humans, but, as I’ve said before, the Spree seems to work like a cult in a way. A very peculiar cult, because it follows an historically, politically and economically rooted ideology but the “actual group” is scattered and seemingly has no “one leader” to follow; it has cells, armories... but it doesn’t look like it has a centralized power (as far as we know). I think (or hope) there is an element of, if not full on brainwashing, indoctrination. This comes from the words she used when she was being interrogated (“the final war between humans and witches”), which sound like indoctrination and not her own reflection. 

In conclusion, I’d say Scylla’s hate for humans does stem from her own experience (not a single event, but her whole life in contact with humans, who were maybe not always so nice), but the Spree’s ideology does play a big part in her going to extremes and acting on this hate in a such a massive way. 

But I wouldn’t absolutely rule out that she also blames them, directly (like you were suggesting) or indirectly, for the killing of her parents. It is undeniable that humans played a role in her parents killing (even if not necessarily firsthand), so I can understand why she’d hate them.

But I personally don’t like this revelation. 

[mistymark]

the one with the keycard.

jung jaehyun x reader // 2.9k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which the heater breaks in the hotel room and y/n is really cold. like really cold.

warnings; fluff at the end, mild angst (?), they just hate each other tbh, too much eye rolling, PROFANITY CHILDREN LOOK AWAY

requested; y u p // “Hi i really liked your enemies to lovers fic of yuta if u find some time can u pls do the same with jaehyun him being the lead cos hes my man hahaha:( thanks in advance ^^”

notes; I rlly love bed sharing aus omg // I actually read through it !!! so its Mildly edited !!!

“Don’t do this,” you begged Doyoung, eyeing the second hotel keycard that he was strategically holding by his side, away from you. 

He tried to hand you the other keycard again, the hotel room number matching the one on the door beside you, “It’ll be good for you two. Maybe you’ll actually be able to get along after this.”

When you huffed at him, blowing your hair out of your face in the process, he rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand, placing the keycard into it and closing your fingers around it. “I hate you, you know,” you pouted at him as he started making his way down the hall.

He held up his hands in defeat, “Look, I didn’t allocate rooms. I just lost rock paper scissors.” So they planned this, you thought. Devils.

When he disappeared into his room, that he shared with Johnny, you looked around; all the other guys had already entered their shared rooms and you wondered who would be willing to swap.

[18:32] y/n: any1 want to become the loml and switch rooms with me :)))

[18:33] mark: no

[18:33] jungwoo: no

[18:33] donghyuck: lmao

[18:33] donghyuck: also no

You rolled your eyes as the messages continued from the rest of the group and opened the door using the keycard Doyoung had forced you to take.

“What the hell!” You were startled by the deep voice you were greeted with, its loudness immediately shocking you, freezing you in place as you watched Jaehyun quickly throw his shirt over his head. When you finally looked away, down at the floor, you let the door shut behind you as you dragged your suitcase into the room, letting it rest against the wall of the small corridor. “I was changing,” his tone is still slightly aggressive.

“Sorry,” you mumble, not really sorry at all. He watched you for a moment before looking back down at his suitcase on the bed and zipping it back up, walking over to you to place it beside yours, almost pushing up against you in order to fit it between the table and your own case.

“So,” he starts, looking up and down your body obviously. He’s still way too close for your liking, having not yet stepped away after putting his suitcase down, “they weren’t kidding.”

“Unfortunately,” you deadpan, making your way to the bed Jaehyun had previously been standing at the edge of and dumping your stuff on it.

“Maybe someone will switch with- Hey!” He jutted his chin up at you from where he was standing in the entryway of the bathroom.

“What?” You raise your eyebrow at him, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

He points at the bed you were now happily plopping yourself down on the end of, “That’s my bed.”

“Oh, really?” You narrow your eyes at him as you dramatically turn from side to side, looking for something. “Because I don’t see your name on it.”

He cocks his head to the side at you, his face serious, “I had my stuff on it.”

You smile cheerily, telling him in a sing-song voice that, “Well, now my stuff is on it.”

Jaehyun just turns from you, already heading into the bathroom, “I’m gonna shower before we leave.” He pokes his head around the door, “Don’t come in.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you furrow your brows at him in disgust, rolling your eyes when he shuts the door, a little too loudly.

The restaurant Johnny had picked out for dinner was conveniently located beside your hotel, and somehow you had managed to finish your hair and makeup at the same time Jaehyun had finished showering and dressing.

“Put the heater on before you leave,” you say, not looking at him as you step out of the room, slipping your keycard into your clutch, your jacket sitting securely in the crook of your arm.

“Do it yourself,” he makes his way towards you, flipping open his wallet to make sure he had his own keycard. You don’t say anything and let the door close between you, opting to make your way to the elevators instead.

Looking up from his wallet, he realises you’ve already left and his jaw sets in frustration, begrudgingly turning on the heater before reopening the door and following you to the elevators.

You try to minimise your reaction when you realise he’s walking to the elevator at the exact moment it arrives, and without even hiding it you press the ‘close doors’ button, a smirk on your face.

He fixes his gaze on you as he slips between the metal doors, the two of you silently agreeing not to talk the entire ride down to the lobby. Instead, you stand in silence, facing the mirrored doors. It’s the first time you’ve properly been able to see what he’s wearing, having refused to give him the satisfaction of catching you staring back in your shared room.

He has a jacket hung over his arm, and the fact that you’re doing the same thing annoys you slightly. The white shirt he’s wearing is unbuttoned, but tucked into his black pants. You noticed he hadn’t bothered styling his hair, focusing mostly on his clothes and occasionally applying random products to his face in the mirror in the bathroom. Yet, still, his hair looked perfect. It made you mad how good he looked with such little effort.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he smirks, his eyes flitting to yours in the dirty reflection of the elevator door.

“So original,” you deadpan, stepping out of the elevator as it arrives at the lobby. You can see Doyoung and Johnny making their way out of the hotel ahead of you. They must have caught the elevator just before us, you thought.

Due to his longer legs, Jaehyun easily overtakes you, not even sparing you a glance as he paces his way towards the doors. Narrowing your eyes at his retreating figure, you quicken your pace, huffing as you get to the revolving door at the same time as him, pushing on the glass and forcing yourself out before him as soon as the gap is wide enough. 

You end up ahead of him, briskly walking towards the restaurant, unable to see the smug smirk that’s taken over his face as he jogs to catch up to you, “Trying to beat me? How childish, y/n.”

“I just don’t want to be late,” you lie, looking in your purse for your phone, having forgotten to put on your watch before leaving the room.

He reaches the door before you still and opens it widely, waiting for you with a grin. You quirk an eyebrow at him as you go to walk inside, before he salutes you, slipping in ahead and allowing the door to shut in your face.

You glare at him as he laughs, immediately catching the attention of the waitress at the front desk and asking her where Johnny’s table was. She eagerly smiles at him, already entranced by his godly looks - did you really just say that? - and shows him to the table. You huff as you wrench the door open and stalk after them, following Jaehyun to the table.

When you arrive, you’re greeted with hello’s from Johnny, Doyoung and Taeyong, who had already arrived. Jaehyun turned around as soon as they called your name, and offered you a smile, a challenging sparkle in his eye, “Oh, y/n! How nice of you to join us.”

You smiled when Johnny elbowed him in the side, and hung your jacket off the chair at the other end of the table from where Jaehyun was sitting. You smile warmly at Johnny, “Lovely restaurant choice, Johnny Suh. Shouldn't have expected anything less.”

You engage in polite conversation with Johnny and Taeyong, as Doyoung and Jaehyun converse at the opposite end of the table. When the rest arrive, almost all together nearly five minutes later, you order food, opting to purchase a bunch of share plates. While you wait for the food, you laugh with Donghyuck when Mark rants about how much he hates rooming with Donghyuck. “I’d switch with you, but we both snore so,” Mark shrugs, his eyes sympathetic.

You laugh, “No, it’s okay. Rooming with Jaehyun isn’t so bad.”

Hearing you say his name immediately catches Jaehyun’s attention, and his eyes are intense as he tries to work out what you had said, not hearing anything other than his name from the other side of the long table. You narrow your eyes at him, and he does the same before looking back at Jungwoo, his eyes immediately softening at the smiling boy, his smile sweet. Part of you would kill to have him look at you the same way. No, it wouldn't, you correct yourself.

When the food arrives, perfectly timed to be served together on a wheeled cart, there’s chaos as everyone tries to get what they want, until Taeyong suggests everyone moves to where their favourite foods are. You stay seated, your favourite dish sitting right in front of you, and you pout as Mark gets up to go sit on the other side of Johnny.

“What? There’s pizza,” he grins, the seat beside you now vacant.

You could tell who replaced him immediately by the smell of his cologne, which you had watched him apply at the desk in your hotel room.

“What are you doing?” You look at him, and he doesn’t miss the mixture of concern and surprise in your eyes.

“I like this,” he states simply and holds up the bowl right beside him, eagerly scooping the food onto his plate with his chopsticks.

You both talked to the other people beside you rather than each other, the dinner continuing with only a few glares and profanities. You can feel one of your shoes slipping off your ankle and you reach down to fasten it, your foot accidentally slipping off your knee when you lose grip of the strap, kicking the table leg quite harshly.

You hiss and grab the toe of your shoe at the same time Jaehyun groans in pain, his hand immediately reaching under the table to rub his leg. Needless to say, you hadn’t kicked the table’s leg, but rather Jaehyun’s. 

“What the fuck, y/n,” he says through gritted teeth, obviously still in pain.

“Sorry, my foot slipped,” you stutter, your eyes wide in shock.

He nudges your knee with his, his jaw set, “Oops. Accident.”

Johnny, who’s sitting beside him, grips his arm, “Dude. Just drop it. She probably didn’t mean it.”

“Probably,” he mutters, going back to eating, purposefully not looking at you.

After dinner and dessert and a walk around the streets of the city, abandoned at this time of night, you all decide to call it a night, walking back through the lobby doors of your hotel.

“Remember, we have to be up early tomorrow to head to the airport, since it’s an early flight,” Doyoung looks pointedly at Donghyuck. “No staying up late.”

You hear Donghyuck mutter to Mark, “He knows I don’t give a shit what he says, right?”

“You better fucking fall asleep or I’m gonna kill you,” Mark hisses back, and you try to contain your laughter as they both try to hold back their own, with Donghyuck failing miserably.

The elevators are slightly too crowded with all of you, so you opt to catch the second elevator with Donghyuck and Mark, joking with them about how Donghyuck won’t fall asleep until almost 5am. You don’t even realise Jaehyun is still standing with you that you're almost surprised to see him standing outside your door when you say goodnight to the youngest members of your group.

He doesn’t say anything as he opens the door for you, and you’re immediately met with a cool breeze, making you shiver, “What the-”

“I told you to turn on the heater,” you immediately turn to Jaehyun, narrowing your eyes accusingly.

“I did,” he spits back, walking into the room to look at the control panel. You follow him and nudge him lightly to make him move. He looks down at you with a slight frown but moves nonetheless. He flicks the switch that changes the heater from ‘cool’ to ‘heat’, the button now useless. “It’s broken.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” you spit, immediately moving to the desk and picking up the phone, searching the directory for the number of the front desk.

“No one’s going to pick up,” he shrugs, opting to switch off the ‘heater’ so it won't continue blowing out cold air.

You turn to him and open you mouth to reply, but he beats you to it, “Y/n, it’s almost midnight. They’ll all have gone home already.”

You exhale, realising he’s right and letting your arm drop the phone back into its place. “Fine. Um,” you look helplessly at the open suitcase on your bed, all your clothes more suited to hot weather than cold.

You both change silently, alternating bathroom usage to prepare for bed, and from the heated bathroom, you run from the open door to your bed, diving under the covers and shivering slightly.

From his bed, you hear him mumble sleepily, “Can you turn the light off, please?” You reach out and turn off the light above your bed, the light in the bathroom still on. “Y/n. The light.”

“It’s the bathroom light, gimme a sec,” you huff and throw the covers back, slipping off the bed and walking to the bathroom. Jaehyun had been in the bathroom before you, so you hadn’t turned on the light, and that meant that now you were trying to look for the switch.

“Y/n,” you hear Jaehyun say. When he doesn’t get a response, he sits up in his bed, turning around to search for you. Rolling his eyes at your stupidity, he gets up and walks to the set of switches beside the door, flicking off the light to the bathroom.

“God?” You whisper, and he feels his lips twitch up in the corners at the funny comment, before suppressing it.

“Well, me,” he says from outside the bathroom, “But same thing, I guess.” He smiles; he can practically hear you rolling your eyes at his comment.

When you walk out of the bathroom, your bed is closest so you easily find it, hugging yourself to preserve what little heat you have. There’s a small thud and the sound of Jaehyun groaning again, and you cant help but giggle at him.

“Right where you kicked me, too,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun,” you make a point of saying goodnight, subtly telling him to shut up.

“Whatever, y/n,” you hear the rustling of the sheets as he gets into bed.

Hours later, you can’t tell exactly what time it is, but you woke up because you were just so cold. You’d put on extra layers before bed, but it felt as though the temperature had actually decreased since you’d first gone to sleep.

You wriggle around under the covers, trying to pull the duvet over your neck tightly, before huffing and kicking the covers off you. You stood up and grabbed the duvet from the bed, rustling slightly as you wrapped yourself in it, forming a white bedsheet burrito. You threw yourself onto the bed and tried to get comfortable again.

You had already closed your eyes, waiting for sleep to consume you again, when you felt your teeth chattering once again. You were surprised to hear the sound of rustling of sheets from the other bed, and a short huff as Jaehyun stood up. He’d only gone to sleep in a pair of sweatpants and a black tank top, but he seemingly had no issue with facing the frigid winds of your hotel room.

You assumed he had just needed to go to the bathroom, but you could just make out his figure as he picked you up, the sheets wrapped around you falling as he threw you onto his bed. You let out a small yelp before appreciating the warmth of his bed. You were shocked when he climbed in beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you against him. You felt your eyes widen, “J-Jaehyun-”

“Just shut up and sleep,” he mumbled, his eyes already closing, and his head leant down slightly so that his cheek rested against the top of your head.

You were surprised by how easily you became comfortable with him; the guy you had fought with, argued with, raced against, rolled your eyes at. The guy that hated your guts was now sleeping in the same bed as you. And you actually enjoyed it. You were sure now, Jaehyun was hot in every sense of the word, his body heat easily warming you, his natural scent encasing you, his thumb rubbing comforting circles on your arm was the only sign he hadn’t fallen asleep yet.

“You’re not so bad, Jung Jaehyun,” you mumbled against his chest, your hand playing with the fabric of his shirt in the dark. Even through the material, you could feel his stomach tense at your touch.

“What did I just say, y/n,” he replied, his other hand reaching to his stomach to rest on top of yours, stilling your movements. When you let your hand fall limp, he didn’t remove his hand, and it was a shame it was dark and you couldn’t see the smile of contentment that had made its way onto his face as he fell asleep with you in his arms.