#when you say -this doesnt even make sense- remember that i know that too and yet here i am thinking about it

[sonknuxadow]

i get a bit confused when people say so//namy was canon in sonic boom.... like idk much about the games side of sonic boom so maybe theres something im missing here but ive seen the entire tv show (which is the only aspect of boom that most people care about if we're being honest here) at least 4 or 5 times over and they most certainly were not dating what are you talking about

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

hang on are cougars like panthers

[linipik]

I called it tumblr artist sins , but it is more in the judgemental way than unforgivable wrongdoing, lol. Still, this has been very enlightening so far! i would love to get more opinions.

okay, but what do you consider just plain annoying from an artist on here?

not "what makes you outrage or unfollw them forever", just... annoying enough to stop interacting with their posts in the long run.

reblogs are appreciated since my own blog has a limited reach. Thanks!

[neostellarjpg]

inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

[iloveboysinred]

Jealous sex with Nanami would heal me

Bub i wanna get on board with u on this but…

I js feel like Nanamin doesnt get jealous fr? Or at least very rarely does.

Which is why, *clears throat* when he does get jealous its hard to tell if you didnt know your husband like the back of your hand(maybe even more than that)

It was supposed to be a peaceful Saturday. It really was! You and Nanami had woken up early to start the day off slow. Starting your morning off with a small breakfast platter, two cups of coffee with expresso to wake you up a bit and some sleepy morning sex in the shower. Everything was perfect, no worries about work, no annoying coworkers (gojo) and especially no lives to be saved— at least, not on your day off.

So imagine Kento’s surprise when you pull yourself out of his arms, and lean over him to pick up your phone and accept the call that’s been buzzing non stop on the nightstand. He purses his lips as you converse with whoever is on the phone--still leaning over him, mind you— before hanging up with an enthusiastic “okay, see you soon!” And getting up from the bed, taking your warmth with you as you started putting on clothes, much to his dismay.

“Who was on the phone, honey?” He sat up as you paced around the room, putting on a simple t-shirt and leggings and even styling your hair. Who was coming over that you needed to style your hair? And why did you seem so excited?

“Just an old friend from college. You remember Enzo right?” He did not. “He’s in town and wanted to stop by. He was my only friend in college, you know.” He nodded in understanding, seeing you excited like this was cute. Even though he really wanted today to be just the two of you, he felt satisfied seeing that cheerful bounce in your step.

And thats what he kept telling himself, even when this Enzo got a little too touchy for his taste. Even when he couldn’t keep his eyes on your face, sleazily raking up and down your body as he comments on how well you’ve “filled out”. He watched as you obliviously ate up the compliment, giggling and chit chatting with Enzo.

Kento wasn’t really the type to blow up in anger. He has always kept himself cordial, well-mannered and polite. But when Enzo exceeded the unspoken touch limit he had set in his head, he just had to say something.

“I’d appreciate it if you kept your hands off of my spouse. Enzo” and the look he gave Kento appeared as if he just noticed Kento was even there, only fueling the disdain in his stomach. “I think its getting quite late. It’s impolite to overstay your welcome. Feel free to see yourself out.” You gaped at him in shock. “Ken!” “No- its okay. It’s almost sunset. I should go.” Hmm. At least Enzo had enough sense to know a displeased husband when he saw one. Once he was gone it felt like a weight was lifted off of him. But then there was you, crossing your arms with a displeased look on your face.

“That was rude.” You gritted, eyeing him as he came closer to you. “What has gotten into you? That was so unlike you!” Nanami still said nothing, his warmth now radiating as he closed the distance between you, his fingers tilting your chin up to face him. “I’m sorry, my love.” He sighed, his warm, brown eyes studying your face. “But he was getting too comfortable putting his hands all over you. It seems now that i should correct that indiscretion.”

Kento’s definition of “correction” was to take you right there on the sofa, not even making it to the bedroom before he had you splayed out so nicely for him, love bites littering your arms, neck and chest. He rocked into you with purpose, making sure to stuff you full of him from the inside out.

He was thorough, making sure to fuck you nicely just how you liked it, his chiseled muscles straining as he folded you almost in half, his head tucked away in your neck, littering your skin with more pretty red marks and teeth marks. He felt petty satisfaction as you moaned into the otherwise quiet living room, his hands had gone places Enzo would never touch.

“Augh! K-ken!!” It was his name you were moaning. “Mmmh augh! s-so good!” It was his dick you were squeezing the life out of. His his his his. Never Enzo’s.

“You’re mine, sweetheart” he grunted, leaning forward to press a hot, sloppy kiss to your lips, his hips slowing to a grind, making sure you kept at least half the mind to hear his words. “That little friend of yours will never have you the way i do.”

This got a little long but yeaaaah 😏 nanami can do whatever he wants to me

[sxeraphfic]

Sub bottom Donnie Darko HCs ? :0

TW/NSFW - SUB DONNIE DARKO HCS 

thank you for the ask!

I've decided to put this into different sections: general submissive hcs first, sub bottom hcs and the other section will be sub top! Read whatever one you prefer ♥️ 

 GENERAL SUBMISSIVE HCS 

Donnie isn't a bratty submissive, I can imagine him being VERY well behaved when it comes to you.

Occasionally he’ll make some offhanded snarky comment, but you know he's only doing it for a reaction. He shuts his mouth as quickly as he opens it. 

Donnie is extremely praise motivated, he thrives off of being told when he's doing things well, when he's being a good boy, how he good he feels etc

Likes to be cuddled/pet/pampered

As for degradation it depends on the day, sometimes he kind of gets off on the fact that he's inherently a little weird and outcast-y 

But if you start practically verbally abusing him it may secretly scare him a little, he likes to be humiliated, not verbally assaulted.

Speaking of that, yes he has a humiliation kink, call him needy or pathetic and it'll drive him insane. 

Also messing around with him in public despite his outward annoyance will turn him the fuck on and probably give him a hard on, hence the humiliation kink.  

He enjoys it when you put your fingers in his mouth 

I can't lie bro has some beautiful doe eyes you bet he's gonna be giving you that. Look. he has (ifykyk) 

Probs has a secret mommy kink that you’ll have to fight to get out of him

As for physical harm he isn't a hardcore masochist or even close,  but he can enjoy a light slap, pinching, biting..maybe even some light crotch stepping.

but if you start beating the shit out of him he's not going to find it sexy at all, keep the violence tolerable! 

I said this before in the general but he has some weird kinks 

Although i don't think body worship is weird at all he takes it to a different level 

if you leave any of your clothing near him and you so happen to forget it he may smell it and jack off with it later 

doesnt mind a little choking

Hey, I said what I said. You gotta remember he's a bit of a freak.  

Absolutely a headgiver, he loves feeling you control his pace

SUB BOTTOM DONNIE HCS 

I think initially Donnie would take some time before admitting that he wants to bottom, assuming you're in a relationship w him around that time period it's important to note acceptance of that kind of thing was very limited

However since he trusts you he’ll eventually confide in you.  

Donnie wouldn't want you to be extra rough with him, well maybe sometimes he wouldn't mind if he was really in the mood. But he prefers normal paced fucking.

If you happen to be more fem presenting i think he would get off on the contrast of someone feminine railing him. Not necessary ofc but just a note 

That being said, if you are more masculine presenting he's gonna find that sexy too. Hes soooo bisexual i know his repressed ass will be screaming if he's getting touched by another masculine person 

Stroke his dick while you fuck him he wants it sooo bad 

I think he’d be most comfortable w/ doggy style and spooning

SUB TOP DONNIE HCS 

Def into cockwarming, in the sense that he's not allowed to move but is forced to feel the pressure of his dick inside of you for however long you decide to keep him like that.  

Controlled orgasm. Need I say less? He likes you to tell him when he's allowed to cum when fucking you

Edging is apart of that too, he likes when hes just about to cum and then you tell him to stop fucking you

NEEDS PERMISSION for everything 

Thigh fucking as a treat since he looooves your thighs

he likes it if you praise or degrade him as he fucks you

let him go a lil crazy with you every once and awhile as a treat

Thank you for reading!

[brick-van-dyke]

You save shit for arguments?? Get a life lmao who does that...

Basic sources still would take a while to read through unless you want a need abstract summary of all my points compiled into one.

I really find that hard to believe since, again, you think sources can just be read in five seconds as if they're half a page and you'd know. Sure I can skim, maybe find a few for you but really? Again? Online arguments don't educate, they just throw weight around and doing that regularly is... so crazy to me??

Anyway yeah, I don't really believe you. At the very least, it makes me wonder about bias in the university, which I guess isn't unheard of with the privatisation of them these days and if it's in certain places I know there is suppression of certain content but??

Look, I'm currently studying so sure I'll admit I'm not a PHD professor in everything we're talking about but the idea of "oh just show me the saved sources you have on this" is so crazy. I'm on my damn phone and just here to say maybe grouping all Jews as Zionists is bad, but hey since you and the person commenting agree on that point, what is there to correct? You both are polar ends of the "all Jews are Zionists" idea and agree. Congrats, you're both equally antisemetic.

dear jumblr: STOP LOOKING DOWN ON AND CONDESCENDING TO CONVERTS.

this includes saying “ofc converts don’t notice antisemitism.” or “they’re a convert, they don’t know any better.”

i really don’t think a lot of you realize how many converts don’t reveal they are converts because of this kind of behavior. my own patrilineal convert parent refuses to publicly, not because they are excluded, but because of the condescension. the way converts are basically patted on the head even if they have ancestry, are patrilineal, were raised in a jewish environment, etc. or have none of these at all.

if converts are equals to you, treat them that way. most gerim learned more during their process than many of us learn in hebrew school, let alone what most secular “born” jews learn throughout their lives. so yes, converts DO spot antisemitism. they DO know things. and there isn’t an excuse for them to be bigoted, to spread lies about our people, or to side with our enemies or to otherwise harm their community. just like there isn’t an excuse for any other jew to do so.

you are not being open minded or accepting thinking and talking this way. you are actually engaging in exclusion and separation. you’re looking down on converts instead of treating them like they have equal standing.

if a convert doesnt know something or does display bad behavior? call them in instead of making excuses for them. treat them like equals, because that is what they are.

[iknowyuu]

helloooo i was wondering if you could do a fanfic where the reader is clumsy please? like girl is so clumsy that even sieun gotta hold her mf hand so she doesnt fall like damnn... BUT YEA i hope this is a good idea 😕anyways i hope u have a good day, remember to not overwork yourself much okay? <33

kdrama! sieun x reader

// read req! around 1k words

note: shaki my fave. this ask is probably a year old LMFAOO, pero espero que disfrutas anyway !!!

daily click to help palestine and other important causes!

any outsider who happened to be looking into your life- whatever god that’s out there, whatever mysterious force that’s looking, controlling you like you were a sim had to be getting a laugh. in fact, they had to have been steadily laughing for at least a year now.

and for god’s sake, “ouch!” is not your favorite word!!

these thoughts ran through your head just as you bumped into the doorframe as you were attempting to enter your classroom. none of your classmates even looked up at the noise. they were all so used to your clumsiness that it became a daily routine. it was like a little warning that there was ten minutes left before class.

you make your way to your seat, pouting with your arms crossed. you don’t blink or move, even as the boy who sat beside you placed an ice pack on your desk. “thank you.” you mumble begrudgingly, placing it on your elbow.

sieun was like that, too— well, not the never-ending confusion in your balance as well as perception, causing you to constantly trip over invisible matter (air). it’s the consistency. every time you walked home from school together, you would trip over a pebble. every time the two of you were in the lunch line, you’d drop your money, trying to count exact change. i think you get the idea; he was like you in a sense that he expected it.

at lunch, you would constantly complain to sieun about it, telling him the amount of bruises or cuts you'd gotten that day. "sieunnnn," you'd draw out through your attractive pouty lips, sitting down at your usual table, waiting for suho and young-yi to arrive. "look at the paper cut i got. you'd think that my skin would've developed a thicker skin after the amount of times i've nearly died," you say dramatically. "it's so annoying.." you sigh, absentmindedly grabbing a hand of his, playing with his fingers. you sit next to him, placing an arm on the table, and laying your head on your arm, staring up at him.

he didn't say anything, only staring at the way you played with his fingers. he tried not to pay attention to the way you gave him butterflies, and from the way he only gets it from your touch. "it's so unfair. how come this never happens to you.." you ask dejectedly, bringing his fingers towards your lips. "or suho... or young-yi.." you mumble, kissing each of the pads of his fingers, before teasingly blowing at his pinky.

he snatched his hand from you embarrassedly, looking away with a deep blush on his face. "its your fault. you need to pay more attention where you're going."

you scoff. "my fault? are you serious? you know, i was never like this before i met you." you sat up. "it's your fault. maybe if you stopped looking at me with those eyes, stopped hanging around me, stopped looking so cute, and stopped living in my mind i'd be able to finally live my life pain-free." you say, heaving a heavy sigh just as you spotted your friends walking towards the table. the words that had just left your mouth instantly left your consciousness when you waved at them, giggling at the stupid face suho was making.

sieun, though, did not move. instead, he sat there, blushing and thinking.

yes, it's true. ever since the big-eyed introvert entered your life, you suddenly became less and less aware of your surroundings, yet more and more aware of the way sieun's hair would stick up in certain places after you ruffled it. or, even how the tip of his ears would light up red after you complimented him.

he didn't pay you (or anyone else) any mind at all when he was a school-obsessed nerd, but now that he has a social life for once, he was beginning to realize that you only treat him like this. you did not kiss the tips of suho's fingers, nor did you hold the waist of young-yi. it was only him.

these thoughts plagued his mind as the school day came and went, and as per usual, the two of you were walking home together. the sunset was just approaching, and the whole city was bathed in a golden hue, reflecting off of every surface to be found. the two of you walked side by side.

"sorry."

"what?" you turned to look at sieun with curiosity. "sorry for what?"

"for being the one who distracts you all the time. you always get hurt because of me." he says, looking down at the ground as the two of you continue walking.

"sieun.. i was just jo-" he interrupted you, "i should take responsibility for my actions." he said, boldly grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him, just narrowly saving you from bumping your shoulder into a pole.

"o-oh." you say. for once, you were the one who was embarrassed. it didn't last long though, as you giggled softly you interlaced your fingers with his. you miss the way he squeezes your hand, looking away with a faint smile on his face.

"it's about time." you whisper, looking down with a smile that was the opposite of his. noticeable and wide.

[mamayura]

Okay, yeah, I genuinely think that we will once again go back to this time period after the season 5 finale and before season 6

There are too many crucial things the special either left out or even contradicts with information we get in the last scenes of season 5 which takes place right before the new school year, whereas the special is right BEFORE the summer break. In France that break is 3 months, but even if it's not that real life number, then its was still the summer break and we obviously still need answers to unanswered questions.

Let's start with the most obvious thing:

1. How did Cerise get the Butterfly

We didn't see when or how Cerise got the Butterfly Miraculous and what on EARTH she did in the Agreste Mansion if she supposedly didn't watch the last battle and therefore SOMEHOW still doesn't know who Ladybug is.

Say "it's bad writing" all you want, but not explaining that AT ALL is a new level of neglectful. They didnt had to have her be there for almost the entire end battle. And SOME explanation is due to HOW she got the Butterfly.

Especially because

2. We never saw Marinette looking for it

At the end of season 5 Marinette explains that she turned into Aquabug and looked for the Butterfly, but couldn't find it.

I know its easy now to just say "Marinette is lying through her teeth", but this is something where it makes no sense for it to be a lie. A moment like this HAD to have happened, and I think it was hinted at in the special:

I think THIS is where her searching as Aquabug must have taken place, too, and it's why she afterwards runs crying to Nathalie.

It must have because right afterwards Marinette holds the press conference where she already states that the Butterfly is lost. AND Marinette at no point in the special is shocked or confused about the Butterfly being gone. We never get the moment of Marinette realising she forgot to look for the Butterfly and then her not finding it.

The special just smoothly transitions into her already knowing it's gone and not being surprised when it's already somehow in a villain's hand.

Combine this with us not having seen what Cerise did in the Mansion and how she even got the Butterfly, then yeah, I'm fully convinced that we'll be coming back to this, even if it's maybe gonna be in season 7 bc the show is frustrating like that.

Then of course:

3. Cerise's wish

We never got an explanation what her wish was. We know it was fundamentally changing the course of this time-line, threatening to end this one and creating a new one, but that doesnt mean you can just write it off as "Cerise wanted to nuke reality"

Cause Alix explicitly says that its not THAT dramatic. This wasn't Chat Blanc who almost wiped out all of reality. So Cerise's wish must have been something big, but not reality-shattering.

I would even go so far and say that the point of her using the wish was for the story to already get through with that for her character right away because she won't be after the wish in the show proper the way Gabriel was. That she had to realize that she cant just use the shortcut, because she's supposed to put her head into it and try to accomplish her goal herself. That this is what changed history, her using a shortcut. So her plan from here onwards will show us what she wished for.

---

As of right now, I would even make the argument that Gabriel's wish actually caused Cerise to loose her memory and this was her attempt at getting it back hence why she freaked out the way she did in the end.

Cause remember, she has known for ALL OF SEASON 5 that Gabriel was Monarque. Him being dead should not be the disqualifying factor here. She already KNOWS that. And it makes no sense that she didnt find out who Ladybug is in the Mansion.

So what I've already speculated for a year now is that Gabriel's vague wording of his wish will be the deciding factor here.

Because Gimmie is an individual, too, like all the Kwamis. The all-mighty personification of Reality and yet they're not allowed to actually be part of reality besides for the wish-granting (which Gimmie COMPLAINT about) and even there in their eyes people are asking for a mere grain of sand of the vast potential of Gimmie's power:

Meaning in short: I'm pretty sure we're dealing with genie logic now and Gimmie (aka God, I guess) used Gabriel's AMATEUR mistake of wishing something in the vaguest way possible (Gabriel, you fucking MORON!) and used the massive wiggle room to flex their power a bit and change reality into what they think is fun and interesting to watch play out.

Cause that's what Genie logic is. A genie doesnt fuck people over for no reason. A genie is an ancient and all-mighty being that's locked away, can't use its magic freely, and is dependent on the puny, young, and stupid humans who cant ever see the forest for the trees. Of course they grow bitter and deceitful to be able to live out any individuality and freedom in their awful prison.

Plus, I also find it the fitting route for the show to go that in the end we have to understand and help the abused Kwamis and powerful, but enslaved entities of nature, too. Gimmie is not wrong for being pissed and bitter about their awful prison, we just need to find a better way so Gimmie doesnt do shit like that anymore because of their exclusion in the reality THEY PERSONIFY

4. We never saw Marinette give Adrien back his amok rings

This even contradicts information we got at the end of season 5:

Adrien EXPLICITLY says that when Ladybug gave him his rings, she that this and that. But we SEE her saying it to him but not giving him his rings. So this doesn't check out. Adrien getting his rings is one of the most important moments too that just like the other ones was just skipped past with not so pretty implications.

Not to beat a dead horse, but people are really underplaying the head-fuckery Marinette is doing to Adrien with her STATED INTENTION of changing his memory to something better she decides for him, and especially when this isn't the first time she did this.

Sorry to break it to you guys, but it was already established in "Pretention" that Marinette's go-to solution is telling Adrien lies to make him believe his abuse isn't real and Gabriel is better then he is:

The scene has both Marinette and Adrien acknowledge that Gabriel is being controlling and doesn't allow Adrien his free time anymore so he can't see Marinette anymore. But once Adrien is sad about not being able to stop his father, Marinette does a 180 claiming that his father totally changed and allows him all the freedom he needs. Which he objectively DOESNT and she just pointed that out, too.

This is not some out of character thing Marinette is only now tragically being "abused" into doing by a dead Gabriel. She already did this before. This is nothing new. Its now just taken to a new level.

Combine this with Marinette being the second biggest liar in Miraculous (check out Flightfoot's post about it for more details) and how much she's for example still burring and isolating Chat Noir in lies and secrets so she doesn't feel uncomfortable in what she continues doing to him, even in the special when she just leaves him to believe his absence caused the death of an innocent man who's son is now an orphan

People are really too willing to keep ignoring or downplaying that lying, secret keeping and twisting the truth to her needs has already long become Marinette's default way of doing things.

No, she isn't ill-intentioned, but what Marinette does is incredibly harmful. You dont HAVE to be ill-intentioned to be able to genuinely hurt a person in a way that crosses the line. This is one of Miraculous' worst messages yet through Marinette herself. Saying "I meant well" automatically means the damage doesn't get to count because you felt bad for having done the bad thing so it actually getting to be BAD would be "mean" to YOU.

You can be toxic and hurting someone without meaning to or being "evil". That's why victims end up stuck in such relationships, it's because the person harming them is a 3 dimensional individual. And right now Marinette is pretty much borderlining doing just that and has shown the same tendencies long before the finale and special. This isn't new and was already harmful back then.

And PLEASE stop getting hung up on word definitions. You sound just like an abuse apologist who talks their or a friend's way out of accountability by a damn technicality bc you dont wanna face that you or a person you like can do a genuinely bad thing with no way around it. That it's not just some vague theoretical OTHER person who can do it, but a person in your life.

Now this of course doesn't mean that Marinette is an irredeemable monster (I literally just said that she's a 3 dimensional individual and not il'intentioned) but here is to hope that these ugly sides of Marinette will FINALLY be held to proper standards, so we can finally move past them.

Cause the way this end scene now reads is that after 3 months of summer break Adrien has started to seriously suppress his memories of the finale the way Marinette did in "Derision" because of all the insane trauma and loss he experienced. If Marinette suppressing her memories in "Derision" is valid, I dont wanna hear shit that what Adrien was put through "wasnt bad enough to warrent it". He lost his home bc his father send him away as punishment (yes, sending your child away means the child doesnt get to be in their home. DUH), he was seperated from his girlfriend and friends for what was supposed to at least a year, he had no idea if he would see Nathalie again because of her worsening sickness, his father was sick too, he has no choice whatsoever in his future, and he had nightmares of nuking the world blasted in his brain while being locked and watched in a white cell to be forced into submitting to control.

If Marinette suppressing her memory because she was bullied by Chloe is valid, then dont you dare imply that this isnt. By the end of the summer Adrien's memories could easily have been like a pile of playdoo and Marinette is out here spinning a web of lies that gives her validation in having done the "right" thing because he takes it and smiles.

By all mean, Cerise has all the dirt on Gabriel ever since "Revelation" and now the finale too. Let's just hope that the situation at hand will be taken care of properly instead of insisting that the situation doesnt exist at all. Cause that's not helping anyone.

Marinette's IS an opportunistic comfort liar and maybe if people would stop acting like that makes you a 1 dimensional demon we could actually acknowledge how realistic it is for Marinette to have continued changing how Adrien remembers things here so he's "happier" and Marinette herself can keep telling herself the same lies until she believes it too. Because Marinette does that a lot. It doesn't make her evil, but this is what happens when a person only gets free passes and isn't actually asked to work on themselves:

They get worse and so are the consequences of their actions on other people. Just like it should be with anybody else, it takes A LOT to actually cross the point of no return, but you cant just say "I'm a complex human being, so it can never be me". Cause that's actually the quickest way for you to end up acting in a way that no one should have to forgive you for. No matter the good intentions.

I've come to accept the solid likelihood that now Marinette and Cerise have switched roles in their established dynamic. Now Cerise is going to try and out the liar and Marinette will continue lying to cover herself.

Cause you also have to remember that Marinette just left the new villain with every other information in the notebook. She just took out her name, that's it. It is now unfortunately very likely that we'll get the dynamic from Ladybug and Chrysalis (if that's still her name) that Cerise will publicly try and reveal Ladybug's lies but Marinette will just assumes that this person can reveal the truth however she likes and Marinette as Ladybug will just claim something else everytime because she knows that most people will blindly believe Ladybug as authority and greatest hero ever.

Dont act like this hasnt been consistently built up for the last two seasons now of how Marinette uses her position of power. This is not out of nowhere and even the special only goes further in that direction with that "Only Ladybug will hold the truth and decide for the world what it is" speech.

You do you, but I will not ignore what I'm seeing. I'll instead try and figure out how there can be a happy ending despite of this being the direction of the show.

[axellis]

good morning im politely requesting people look at my post abt how the ancients see each other

under the cut some closeups + a ton of additional thoughts

hollyberry + golden cheese are also part of the crew of 'thinking pv is a bit naive', but he's also the most emotionally intelligent out of all of them and incredibly empathetic and thats something they both respect a whole lot .

dark cacao on the flipside can see how much of a mental toll being empathetic can be

white lily seems to have the most "whole" thought of pv - which would make sense, she's been with him the longest and has seen every facet that is pv. but even still her worries that he's too trusting of her are eating away at her thoughts- as such a pv shapeshifter made of her subconscious Would be way more naive .

in my head white lily's pv would be the last shapeshifter and in order to tell the difference between them white lily would ask if he ever doubted her . the real pv would say that he definitely struggled and had been lost and confused- but ultimately trusts her above all else . vs the shapeshifter who would just say "no I'd never doubt you" .

i didnt have room for it but i think dark cacao also recognizes hollyberrys seriousness . if you get drunk with someone enough times you'll start to piece together the really vulnerable moments you had with eachother . i think hollyberry and dark cacao have the closest relationship and im not saying this because im in love with both of them

golden cheese has a bit of a recollection issue and you can see that with hollyberry + cacao the most. golden cheese reminisces a Lot and that affects how she remembers the othera . hollyberrys is a bit of a trickier thing but in this instance golden cheese doesnt remember the braids. she knows hollyberry has a different outfit than before but doesn't pay it much mind

you might have noticed the pattern at this point of pure vanilla having a bit of a cutesy interpretation of all the ancients. he loves his friends so much that he has a bit of a harder time being critical of them. he thinks dark cacaos seriousness/grumpiness is endearing. to be honest its partly an inverse of shadow milks interpretation of the ancients (simple and positive vs simple and negative) but that wasnt entirely intentional. just interesting to notate now that im thinking of it

hollyberrys dark cacao is a bit of an inverse also to what i was talking about with dark cacaos hollyberry . shes seen the sweeter more heartfelt side of dark cacao and that shines through to her

if it wasnt for the outfit + hair, golden cheese's dark cacao would have probably been the last shape shifter standing

and i will stand by the dragon cacao headcanon till the day i die

golden cheese's was fun to think about bc of the little details that are different between the different shapeshifters- specifically in the neck area (bc thays the only portion you guys get to see) . dark cacaos is a bit more of a hanbok style, white lily has a turtleneck thing kind of happening, etc etc. i think pure vanilla has the most accurate idea of what she looks like .

i think white lilys interestingly enough would be the last one standing because i honestly dont think her golden cheese would even be talking with her :(( so we'd only really find out the difference when white lily's gc is forced to talk to her . white lily thinks that gc hates her and wants her gone but golden cheese's feelings are wayy wayyy more complicated. golden cheese doesn't want white lily gone she Is glad that she's back but its also hard. everything she loves is gone right now . but she's going to find a way to get it back- and if white lily can help than maybe that'll rekindle their relationship.

the cuteification beam still reaches for white lily despite how much pv knows her . i doubt this would help with white lilys feelings that pv is being naive bc shes looking at a shapeshifter based off of pvs subconscious and that subconscious is showing so mucy nostalgia it probably hurts

hollyberry in the past probably really babied white lily + pure vanilla because she Knows theyre not eating . shes observant as hell and will always demand they have at least one bite of something in order to figure out if they're Really "not hungry".

the last one would probably land on golden cheese's bc again . her feelings are complicated and as such her subconscious would showcase that multifaceted issue of "knowing this is your friend and also knowing your friend is responsible for your kingdoms destruction".

[weirdmageddon]

why i think aradia and john work so well

(with some stuff i’ve been wanting to yap about for ages)

have you guys ever given arajohn / johnradia (idk if its popular enough to even have a standardized ship name) any thought …? i know it seems kind of out of left field. i’ve considered it and i think its. really really good. i have a bunch of thoughts to unpack. come join me. and maybe grab a snack or something because i didn’t realize how much i'd actually have to say about this

(fantastic art by skeletood)

the other day i made a tweet that did rather well where i said, “john and aradia shouldve talked more. its so simple but i like how she actually earnestly answers his questions. so many characters in this comic are so mean to john for just wanting to know more give him a break”

putting it out there now im not big about shipping for the sake of shipping. there needs to be real chemistry. i need to sense that as a reason why two characters would potentially be a good influence on each other. i never knew why i was always so obstinate about this because it’s fictional and not materially hurting anyone, but i think it might be because i’m not sure how to justify it or explain it if not.

i strongly believe john and aradia would have had it made out for them if circumstances allowed it. (what i mean by “ship” or “johnradia” extends to any kind of interpersonal dynamic, even if just a good friendship. it doesnt even have to be romantic, just some sort of dynamic with them.)

unfortunately aradia originally committed herself to staying out of trolling the kids over their timelines, so john and aradia never talked until year 3 on the ship in the dream bubbles but they never had a truly proper one-on-one without outside meddling. i think if john knew aradia better and her story beforehand, she had more time to explain herself and her history, he wouldnt have been unsettled. and also of course if his experience with the trolls didn’t suck so bad because he already had expectations for how antagonizing most of them were.

i found people’s sentiments about johnradia elsewhere too. i remembered that they were both on the song art for ascend, and searched ao3 to see how many fics have been written to gauge how substaintial it’s been in the homestuck fandom. only 17 of them turned up. but the people who do talk about it are either curious about it or really do like it, and that interested me.

clearly it’s pretty niche character relationship to be depicted in any fanwork and i can understand why. despite being so small, from what ive seen it seems universally agreed upon to be nice. i haven’t seen a single person object to it. what ive seen falls into two categories: “wow i didnt think about this before but i actually dig it” or “(starving) finally some good fucking food”

the pattern im seeing is that people think it’s “random”, but i disagree. there is something there substantiating it even if they’re unable to articulate it.

the fanfic these comments are from is chronology of wind. that fic is really, really good, and sadly unfinished. i have more abstract reasons to believe why aradia and john would be good in theory, so actually seeing someone else actually make something with them helped me read it in action, to get a more tangible feel of the dynamic beyond what we have in canon.

i wouldn’t normally make claims about a relationship with regard to homestuck canon by looking at their relationship in a fanfic, because i think you all know by now i am very nitpicky about accurate characterization, and it does not go unnoticed by me when people get it right because for some reason it feels like a one in a million thing (even though it really shouldn’t be?). so this was a special case. the tone was completely consistent with canon. this fic is so in-character i’d basically consider it an extension of canon. to me it’s like they took the same characters and plopped them into this scenario to see how they’d interact. guys… i love that stuff so much. i love fanfiction or fanworks that depict realistic extensions of canon and stays true to the energy and tone of the source, but deepens it. there isn’t enough of it imo. i want to see more of it.

anyway, what i read of their conversations in that fic basically aligned with what i was thinking in my head about what i’d expect it to be like. i was able to compare how aradia and john talked to how aradia and the other characters interacted, their comparative attitudes towards each other—how they’re treated by others compared to how they treat each other.

have you noticed john and aradia’s communication values are both based on sincerity, being in the proper know, treating people fairly, and thanklessly taking on the necessary work that “must be done” in order to have what they really want — a good time that feels meaningful? and they accomplish this without any adjustment in how they talk to each other.

john is always subtly (or not-so-subtly) asking the people around him to answer him soberly and to the point so he knows whats going on and what that means for what his options are. he needs to know to what end he will be applying his absurd energetic drive into making shit happen. aradia honors his time before john can even become uncomfortable with the amount of time being eaten up by conversation. contrast this with rose, who seems to go on for a while with prose-like conversational adornments. in dire situations that need rapid explanation and definitive answers so he knows what to do, this is really the last thing he needs. aradia doesnt waste john’s time. she answers all his questions, and does it politely to boot. his time talking to her doesn't feel wasted.

john's impatience with this sort of nonsense is also why i can’t see something like dirkjohn working out, for example. to me it feels like @entropicbias also deeply understands this on some level because i literally couldn’t have demonstrated what i mean by it any better myself than that. i'm gonna have to to hit him up about how much i genuinely respect that like tbh hes one of the few i absolutely trust to handle writing and depicting these characters in situations and their interpersonal dynamics. and also care about doing their characterization justice as much as me.

of course people are still entitled to like whatever they like, ship whatever they want to. i dont care. but i just don’t think it would work from the perspective of the minds of the canon characters, how they generally think and approach situations. and i can already tell people might ask me how do i know this? what makes me an expert? i’m not more than anyone else is (although i have been called a "characterization expert" from my friends), but i do know that i can pick up on the energetic chemistry between people, including characters, honestly precognitively, without even thinking? like if it’s stiff or tense or awkward, if people aren’t free to express themselves uninhibitedly, if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. i can sense this almost instantly. it’s something that’s a visceral feeling in my body i cant express and i have to rationalize it after the fact. like i’m doing now in fact writing this big analysis.

> listen to me talk about my special interest boy

for the next section to make sense, you probably want to read this post. i initially started writing it within this post to explain but there was so much brewing i had to explain the context that it turned into something i wanted to post on its own terms.

> okaaaaaayyyyy i read all that

thank you, really. my main point is using the conceptual tools provided by this system to expIain why aradia and john feel nice together and why i’ve seen people positively perceive the idea of a relationship between them even if it seems “random”.

framing them in this system, it wouldn’t be random! there’s a good reason they seem to fit nicely. this is because john and aradia have complementary forms of information metabolism. information metabolism is talked about in this section.

Jung’s psychic types are the types of cognition, or intelligence. But it would probably be easiest to call them types of IM [information metabolism], since the main difference between the types of people lies in their exchange of information with the external world.

Aushra Augusta, Commentary on Jung’s Typology and Introduction to Information Metabolism

aradia megido’s type of information metabolism (otherwise known as a TIM) is LII. john egbert’s TIM is ESE.

aradia and john’s types are duals. you can read more about what that entails here. in theory, their interactions would reflect the duality dynamic. reading chronology of wind, that one really in-character fic that explored their dynamic made me excited because they do!

michael pierce gave an overview of his impression of the characteristics of this intertype dynamic. despite only rough knowledge in socionics while he wrote this, his understanding of duality was spot on to me from my experience and others and i wanted to share it here. (fittingly, i believe he is also LII.)

Now we have the famous duality relationship: in a nutshell, this role is characterized by two traits: 1) a very close psychological distance or intimacy, and 2) a great ease of interacting with each other. It is sometimes described how meeting one's dual can be the event of a lifetime, because it inspires aspects in each party's character that they had never expressed before: the pair may even drop out of society for a time in order to focus on just each other, and to explore themselves through interaction with each other. The curious thing in this relationship is that these parties are rather different in outlook, and when they are not actually interacting as potential friends it's probably more likely for them to dislike or mistrust each other because of how different they are. […] However, when they are able to interact normally, it is a strange and wonderful discovery to realize that the interaction is unexpectedly smooth and invigorating. It's hard for people to describe, but as I understand it: while both parties recognize their differences on the surface, these differences are created by a root structure that coincides perfectly with each other, so that the differences on the surface are entirely complementary and cause no friction at all.

it’s also meaningful to consider that the structure of my own psyche is LII as well. so i’ve got a bit of a bias towards aradia and john.. not in the sense that what i actually say about them is personally biased, but that the bias is moreso my personal attention to people and characters of these two types in particular to see how my own experiences are reflected in them. i really do feel of a reflection of my own thought and work process in aradia and in the more abstract sense she is like an extension of myself. when people say they like aradia as a character i get secondhand joy from that because shares certain specific traits with me. of course i am still my own person though.

these are some of the most apt profiles i've found for these types at a glance. again, think about these characters as you read these descriptions. [from here (ESE / LII)]

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert) - john

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on socializing and guiding social situations and interactions so that the people involved can have fun and enjoy themselves. ESEs are typically in the middle of what is happening socially and know about the latest events and what people think and feel about them. They are skilled at bringing people together in fun and interesting ways and making everyone feel actively involved. Their friends know them as people who love life and feel most at home in social situations surrounded by other fun people. In their pursuit of fun-oriented and stimulating social interactions, ESEs typically neglect to structure their own thought processes and views in a way that would help them know exactly what they think and why. They are receptive to others’ attempts to help them introduce more structure and logical consistency in their life and thinking processes. They gravitate most to people who open up to fun and emotional interaction easily, yet are also skilled at systematizing thoughts and views and explaining ideological matters.

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert) - aradia

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on logical, structured thought and generating true assertions and views. LIIs are typically strict thinkers who are concerned that everything fits together in a logical way. They are skilled at understanding, generating, and criticizing logical arguments and instilling their views in the people around them. Their friends know them as people with well-organized thoughts and opinions who know what they think and can elucidate their ideas to others. In their pursuit of logical understanding, LIIs typically neglect their external social interactions and activities that would help them lighten up and experience a connection with other people. They are receptive to others’ attempts to create these fun and lighthearted situations for them. They gravitate most to people who are interested in their opinions and understanding of things, but are also skilled at organizing social interactions and creating a sense of emotional unity.

ive recently consciously experienced the feeling of duality for the first time since i've been communicating with my mom's high school classmate, and it is definitely a real thing. i even remember mom pointing out she noticed when we were all talking on the phone over a year ago that i perked up whenever he said stuff. here is how i explained it:

its bonkers how only once i experience something for myself i’m able to explain in detail what makes it so great based on what my impressions about it were because i tend to have a peculiar way of describing the qualities of an experience. my specialty is deep precision in my analogies for what it’s like. so now i can tell you how conversations with your dual feel… heres the status report. it’s weightless. its so strange. like the topic conversation stretches into infinity that you can pick right back up at any time. it’s hazy and unfocused but still pleasant (unless you’re particularly self-conscious and need to unlearn hiding your true self). but the best parts of it come when you have a specific issue or insecurity that comes with being your most natural self that the world seems to misunderstand about you, or just not give you what you don't even know you’ve been looking for. i think you might mutually intimidate each other at first because you're lowkey both expecting to be made fun of for your inadequacy with certain types of information that the other is nuanced with (and you’re not), but it never comes. you don't feel like what your dual wants in life is wrong. your dual seems so talented in all the ways you hope to shine but you’re always unsure of. for the introvert (me) wishing they felt their own active presence as an object (Se, Ne, Te, Fe) like the extravert does. for the extravert, wishing they felt their own relationships with other objects (Si, Ni, Ti, Fi) like the introvert does. any other intertype relationship (ITR) vs. duality is like the difference between 99% and 100% totality of a solar eclipse, except it’s the level of understanding with another person, like the eclipsing of your own information metabolism with theirs. of course there are other things that influence how well your relationship with this person goes, but i am talking strictly about when it comes to basic communication, the level of understanding you share. sometimes it might feel like you dont have much to talk about or the topic is unfocused, because you two ARE opposites in many ways after all, especially at a glance (domain of interests usually come with specific macroelements. theories about thought structures—like socionics, for instance—are in the domain of intuition, while physical interests and experiences are in the domain of sensorics.) i’m LII in the NT club (researchers) and my dual ESE in the SF club (social-communicative). so they’re constantly providing you with information from their own niche in life that you may be entirely unfamiliar with, but for some reason still interests and relaxes you to hear. you might not feel like you have a lot to say about the topic since but you are fully amazed by this person’s activity. it also makes you feel more sure of yourself and more confident that people truly appreciate and need your natural abilities.

> let’s break it down

here’s some lightly modified descriptions of the information blocks in LII and ESE's information metabolism models from pyatnitsky so you can get an overarching impression of how their type contributes to the informational sphere. i added some of my own adjustments and borrowed some sentences from stratiyevskaya's descriptions. additionally, you can click on the name of the block for an explanation of the role it plays.

i put about a week’s work into these collages but my goal with them was to actually show where i think these information blocks are most pertinent in these characters specifically and where they apply so it’s not just some abstract thing, just as supplementary examples as needed. (for the meaning of these information elements individually you can refer to cysia’s document.)

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert)

EGO (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Analytical thinking. They are well aware of the interrelationships of some objects or phenomena with others, and what laws are in effect or not in effect. On the basis of a comprehensive analysis, they put forward insights about the global essence of specific objects and phenomena, their possibilities. They acutely charge the situation with potential energy. For every situation, there is an archetype.

Super-EGO (-Fi? -> -Se!). Normative ideas about relationships between people and ways to get out of unpleasant ethical situations. Understands ethics as founded on the principles of fairness; to do to one side of the equation that you do to the other. Volitional manifestations in order to protect their living space are carried out only on the basis of personal experience. Because of the limited opportunities to fight back, they react painfully to attempts of any interference in his life. Does not respond to any arbitrary crudeness or volitional pressuring. Does not compromise goals, stubbornly clings to them. Avoids direct confrontation if possible, would rather talk civilly and earnestly. Uses their naturally strong sense of the conditioning of objects over time to avoid collisions with their material interests. Due to this, they may appear as someone with very little weaknesses.

Super-ID (+Fe -> +Si?) Attracts information about a good mood, a specific positive state, or a feeling. They would like to think that they can eliminate serious inconveniences, make the environment around them more comfortable. This skill needs to be evaluated. They are unconsciously activated when there is a need to make the environment more comfortable, which should lead to a better state, raise the mood at least in the immediate environment. In friendly, comfortable, and informal company, their cool exterior thaws and they start lighting up with joviality.

ID (+Te! → +Ni?). Has developed guidelines and methods that relate to specific practical activities, technological effectiveness, and resource use. Spontaneously feels the correct allocation of resources over time, which allows them to effectively solve tasks at an unhurried pace. This pace is deeply rational in nature.

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert)

EGO (+Fe! -> +Si?). Perception of the world is fundamentally emotional. Feels the emotional atmosphere well in any situation, knows the relevance of the way of expression, the place and weight (importance) of the internal state in each situation. Flexible approach to solving problems of managing and expressing emotions. They show bright emotionality both negative and positive. Creatively produces around themself comfort, coziness, conveniently arranges space, surrounds others with beautiful things, changing thereby the general condition and mood. Usually opinionated about their tastes.

(wow i really went all out on that this one that tumblr wont even display it in full resolution, so here. john just has so many more lines to choose from, sorry!)

Super-EGO (+Te! -> +Ni?). Practical and technological thinking is tightly based on acquired knowledge and patterns of solving similar problems. Methods of business activity in both general and specific areas are selected based on the opinion of reputable sources, or adjusted to one of the mastered templates. Predicting specific changes in the sphere of their interests is carried out only on the basis of personal experience. He is not able to compare his own method of forecasting with others, so he is sensitive to criticism of poor timing or deadlines, does not like situations that feel like a waste of his time; he is lost in connection with negative events. Guided by purely personal experience, he chooses specific times and deadlines for various tasks with a normative understanding of business activity in general.

Super-ID (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Attracts information about the order, specific logical relationships in the field of activity or interests. Needs someone to suggest specific ways to make connections between phenomena, patterns, and rules. Tries to be reasonable himself, even though he knows that this is not characteristic of him. Sometimes he openly talks of his actions that were poorly reasoned through, as if inviting other people to laugh at his thoughtlessness. The ordering and systematization of thought opens up a new way of understanding of events that are happening around him, as well as new prospects, potential, and capabilities. He likes to think that he understands the essence of a situation and lights up with new ideas. This skill needs to be evaluated. It is unconsciously activated when it is necessary to create order, clear consistency and clarity on a particular issue, especially if their abilities are recognized.

ID (-Fi? -> -Se!). Involuntarily keeps track of communications in their social circle. Without hesitation, they use a variety of ways to establish and maintain relationships that have been developed in his personal practice. Good relationships are important for personal inner confidence in a situation. To prevent unfavorable relationships, they are inclined, often without even realizing it, to act with pressure, forcing a showdown, forcing the partner to change the relationship for the better. Frequently demonstrates his resoluteness, persistence, and purposefulness, as if proposing his behavior as a model for imitation. Usually tells in much detail what obstacles were created before him, and how he overcame them, what he was told in response, and what he replied with, and so on and in the like.

(full res)

you might be able to see already how they would complement each other's thought process nicely. here are some descriptions of what the communication between these types is like:

+Fe! : program function of ESE and dual-seeking function of LII

The ESE periodically tells emotionally charged "program" function stories, telling of how somebody has acted and what they have done. The main orientation of ESE's leading ethical program is: "No one should be offended." The LII carefully listens to these statements, and, demonstrating a full understanding of these issues, develops logical basis for them, e.g. in calm persuasive voice he explains how the ESE has acted justly and fairly. The effusion of turbulent emotions coming from the ESE is counterbalanced by their absorption by the LII, who breaks them down into fragments by asking clarifying questions of the ESE.

-Ti? : dual-seeking function of ESE and program function of LII

The ESE is tuned to accepting information when it's relayed in clear logical form. He issues requests for logical explanations delivered from a point of view of generalized rules underpinning specific life events, which he receives from the LII, who delivers clear unambiguous interpretations, places the dots over all "i's", and demonstrates good understanding of problems that are of concern to the ESE. Not receiving information of this kind, the ESE begins making demands of those around him to be "intelligent" and understand the reasons of his actions.

-Ne! : activating function of ESE and creative function of LII

The ESE feels uncomfortable if he doesn't extend his help to people who are in need of it. His subconscious orientation is: "care and guard the talented", be kind and attentive towards other people. The LII usually meets such criteria by proving in action his aptitude at uncovering hidden capabilities, winning trust, passing on the knowledge. The ESE creates supportive conditions for people who are capable but lacking in assertive "push-through" qualities, among whom the LII finds himself, and a special work regime that protects such individuals from overloads on sensing functions. Newly discovered possibilities inspire and promote the pragmatic and business-oriented activities of the ESE. He can support a new undertaking or initiative with an enormous amount of energy and enthusiasm, light up by new ideas. Only the LII is able to, even having a vague general notion about the subject, construct a developed theory or idea of any issue. This theory shows to be promising in the process of its concrete application within its field.

+Si? : creative function of ESE and activating function of LII

LII tries to take care of their well-being, but may gravitate towards demonstrative asceticism, exhaust himself with work, studies, or exercise. The ESE periodically takes care of creating an environment that "charges" the LII with pleasant sensations: a reception of guests, a good meal, a visit to a theater or a concert, an interesting trip, and so on. At the same time the ESE takes pleasure in this himself.

+Te! : role function of ESE and observing function of LII

The role function of the ESE manifests as business-oriented activity and initiative, supplying interesting information, provision with material assistance to those who are in need, general restlessness and fussy busyness. This function is normative, i.e. the ESE seeks to comply with the norms and accepted ways of doing things. The nuancing of the understanding of these norms, i.e. introduction of activities that go beyond them, is possible only by considering LII's advice and recommendations. The LII serves as a director of this function, adjusting its workings by advocating the necessity of practical application of some beneficial ideas, rejection of useless though spectacular ideas, and the need to ensure standards of life not below average by rejection of equalization.

+Ni? : vulnerable function of ESE and demonstrative function of LII

The ESE poorly feels the flow of time, both physical, which manifests as running late and poor distribution of his strengths over time, and historical, which manifests as poor ability to anticipate consequences of actions and tendency for traditional ways of solving problems. The ESE finds it difficult to make radical choices. The LII fully takes this aspect onto his shoulders. He has an unconscious ability to distribute activities in time, thereby avoiding work stress and overloads, and is capable of making a radical choice. The LII is able to calmly wait and in the necessary moment get to work when the wasteful fussiness of the ESE reaches its critical point.

-Fi? : ignoring function of ESE and role function of LII

On this function the ESE gives advice and makes demands concerning the creation of appropriate psychological distances in form of proper behavior, courtesy and politeness, denouncing rudeness and boorishness. In this manner, the ESE adjusts LII's role function, which in itself contains a set of large psychological distances: a sullen stubborn look, unsociability, etc. With such fine-tuning it becomes easier for the LII to come into contact with people, whereby he becomes more animated, resolves many of his ethical problems that previously frightened him, gains greater insight into human relationships and a more accurate understanding as to whose side to take in situations of conflict.

-Se! : demonstrative function of ESE and vulnerable function of LII

The LII finds it very difficult to exert pressure on other people from his own will and initiative, especially in cases when he needs to attain something for himself. He finds this difficult to do - to press ahead in certain situations, to gather all the required paperwork, to stand in lines and queues, to petition for his own interests, even the ones that are of vital importance to him. He finds it difficult to push a person away, to sharply refuse someone, to quarrel loudly and defend his rights, to put an end to relations that have exhausted themselves. The ESE doesn't directly affect this function, i.e. he doesn't verbally criticize and teach the LII on this aspect, but takes over its functioning completely. The ESE exerts a constant, sometimes intrusive and imposing pressure on other people if there is a need to achieve something, to defend justice and demand fair treatment, to protect interests of those who are close and dear to him. The ESE goes to the right jurisdictions, inspires people around him and directs them towards work and purposeful activity, keeps up a high pace of life himself, and breaks off relations with those who don't deserve trust.

and some miscellaneous excerpts from literature i liked a lot. (i can't remember the sources i used since i've been working on this on and off, for the past week and i was just spilling things onto the post. i think stratiyevskaya?):

Mood - that’s what matters in this dyad - emotions and feelings. Anything that suppresses and overshadows good mood is considered unethical in this dyad and is strongly condemned.

The ESE does not allow the LII to limit him in the possibilities of consuming the amount of pleasures and joys, which he considers to be necessary and sufficient. Fortunately, both partners in the dyad - LII and ESE - are obstinate and unyielding. Both are demanding, unwilling (and not allowing anyone else) to lower the bar of their requirements, unable to give in and make concessions (especially in anything that is of principle for themselves). Both know how to make their partner reckon with their interests and insist on the fulfillment of their demands.

LII is impressed by the emotional generosity of ESE and his spiritual responsiveness. All this finds the deepest understanding in LII, since he is tuned to the same priorities and values. For his part, ESE admires the ability of LII to speak clearly and definitely on every issue. ESE is struck by the harmony of the reasoning of LII, the amazing clarity, accuracy and laconicism of his statements. To ESE it seems that for LII, there is nothing incomprehensible in this world; he can give a comprehensive explanation on every issue. And everything that ESE thought about before is gradually being built into a definite and clear system of views, which he can now very freely and naturally present. Confusion and chaos in his worldview gradually gives way to a stable logical order, as if someone patient and careful was sorting all his thoughts into shelves. Such clarity inspires and activates ESE; he begins to see some prospects for himself, new opportunities. His energy and activity, in addition to emotional and ethical expression, also receives sensory realization: ESE begins to take care of LII and carefully looks after him. If LII is a colleague with whom ESE is especially pleasant to communicate with, he begins to treat him with something tasty, homemade; will make some small, but beautiful and necessary gift (for example: new cologne or a warm scarf).

> okay that's great and all but when are we talking about john and aradia specifically?

yes, that was the point of this post. i just had to build all that up first so i could walk you through my thoughts in a fully substantiated way.

considering chronology of wind again, john doesnt realize it but he needs aradias frankness and insight. even if she’s unable to explicate on vague things, she states the reason why instead of making him feel stupid (it would create a doomed timeline) but thats all john needs to hear. she is self-effacing and only tells him the truth, and we know other people can take advantage of john’s suggestibility in this way. aradia tells john who is or isnt trustworthy, what actions would be useful/necessary and which ones wont, without any selfish personal motive a la vriska or terezi.

^ (juuuust the record my nitpicky ass doesn’t agree with the truth of the classpect interpretation on behalf of the author in the last bit BUT that is beside the point here. the point is that she is answering john’s question in a way that is meaningful for him)

aradia doesnt realize it but she needs john’s friendy goofiness to brighten her up because she is surrounded by people who antagonize her when she’s literally not even trying to get under anyones skin. everybody gets frustrated at her “spooky nonsense” because theyre afraid of their own mortality, basically telling her to put a lid on it because thinking about hard truths makes THEM personally uncomfortable. but to her it’s always just been a fact of life. plugging your ears to reality is ignorance, but at the same time that doesn’t mean there’s no meaning in anything. she wants to help people see this and she dedicates herself to becoming a psychopomp for the deceased and earnestly trying to make people feel emotionally and physically comfortable in their situation through exploring their memories.

john isn’t hostile towards her. by being herself she is immediately able to earn john’s trust when they initially talk. this is also true in canon; the one time they talked when john initially comes up to her, saying “can i ask you something? seem reasonable, and pretty nice.” unfortunately he asked her the one question she didn’t have much to say about, and i can’t blame him for expecting all the troll girls to be basically insane at that point. but i don’t think aradia is insane. yes she is odd, but i think it’s evident that she has a good head on her shoulders with knowledge of the way the universe around her works, and in the end wants to simply bask in watching it play out. i think she deserves to get childishly excited about it, especially considering she was dead for most of her developmental years.

aside from getting his answers answered, john shows curiosity about her and her species and even care about her well-being and state. this naturally comes from their conversation’s ebb and flow. aradia tells this straightforwardly, without bells and whistles and without trying to trick him, unlike the other trolls who seem keen on well..trolling him.. and providing him with unclear answers to those sorts things. maybe aside from vriska, but she did have a little bit of an attitude about it wherein her and john’s dynamic felt uneven or off-rhythm, with a large psychological distance. it’s a different feeling with aradia, however. they exchange information on the same rhythm and so are able to achieve a closer psychological distance in communication.

there are no judgments coming from aradia about john being “stupid”. she doesn’t underestimate him. it’s not just that john wants to understand (although he does), but he needs to understand what he is doing. aradia compliments john about the traits he possesses that allow him to be effective. i guess in a way i’m doing the same thing with john right now.

john is so mobile and strung along by being the action hero going from place to place as a can-do deliveryboy that he never has time to reflect on his losses, think through them, and accept them.

literally who else is more qualified in all of homestuck than aradia for talking to john about these things?

on top of all of this, they have objectively significant connections beyond just mutual self-realization in a way i think could've been fleshed out. there is potential here.

for a story, i can think of a way that a conversation between them could plausibly happen using the systems established in homestuck's mythology. in canon, we see that john never met aradia until year 3 on the golden battleship in the dream bubbles when he goes to sleep.

but john still dreamt out in the furthest ring. that means during those 3 years it was possible for john to have had a dream with her in it, or at least aradiabot. i know john didn't know aradia's name beforehand but let's just explore the possibility that they could have had met before that. remember that all these aradiabots were once this person.

aradia had obtained john's crosbytop, his dads hat, and his wallet quite a while before their sgrub session. theres your entry

imagine john seeing that

memories of dear old dad get stirred up through the link of seeing those items

the dream bubble transforms

john is forced to stand in his memories and explore grief and the meaning of life with aradia

physically being in the space around him would definitely help john reflect easier i think because it will force him to actually exist within the space and talk to someone, taking some time out for this. he wanted to know if anything could've been done or if he was just too late to save them. i know aradia would be able help him slow down and introspect. don't forget the opportunities created by the properties of these spaces that are glubbed out in the furthest ring by the horrorterrors that meld the labyrinthine time and space of their surroundings to the memories of the people and finding others through common points in memory. i would imagine that objects known by multiple people would provide a common point in memory to bring them together.

The bubbles allow the players of Sburb/Sgrub who have lost a life to continue dreaming. The reality constructed in the bubbles is a combination of the memories of everyone inside the bubble accessible to any who has learned the bubble's nature. According to Aradia, it would be quite difficult to exit a bubble to get into a new one, however someone inside a bubble can travel to another one through common points in memory, taking their own memories with them to be integrated into the new bubble. These memories mix and combine, but in general, no new memories are created. Additionally, the bubbles store the consciousness of a player who has lost their dream selves and their original selves, making them double as a form of afterlife; the player is then capable of accessing the memory of anyone else who has gained access to the bubbles. Living players, who have lost or become their dream selves, appear in the dream bubbles when they are asleep. It is in this fashion that the bubbles can be used as meeting places between the dead and the living; even those from alternate universes and doomed timelines can be found in a bubble. Furthermore, in addition to memories, the bubbles can to some extent reflect the thoughts of a player. Beyond that, the bubbles can also behave similarly to Skaia's clouds, showing things that are in some way relevant to the player - such as when coin-flip Dave saw alpha Dave grieving over Bro's corpse - something he was not aware of before being shown it by a bubble.

physically reflect the thoughts of the player…… rubs hands

john and aradia share points in memory related to those objects, and to top it all of they are directly related to john's dad on the same day he died, while aradia grew up with them as bizarre alien artifacts from an archeological dig. the memories are more emotionally charged for john, and i think that distinction would probably be relevant to them both.

to be honest i think after speaking with him for a bit she would readily tell john that she regrets not talking to the kids from the universe her team created sooner before she died, but is glad that she can in the afterlife. in canon, alpha aradia told a doomed dave, "i think its absurd i never introduced myself to you in all that time i spent moping around the lab. guess i wasnt in a very good mood".

now not all the aradiabots would know who john is, because the trolls only found out about the humans once they created the genesis frog and hid out in the lab in the veil from jack who infiltrated their session. the aradiabot in the lab was the last one that survived. so if any one of them would know who john is, it would be the aradiabot that exploded. aradia's dream self ascended to god tier in jack noir's rampage on trolls' derse and took those memories with her which we can assume is what made the last aradiabot explode. its known that any original copy that dies when another rises up becomes a ghost and lives on in the dream bubbles, which would include her. a doomed aradiabot we see in the comic, which was the one that originally landed to alternia in the past, becomes more lighthearted after she dies, a bit more like her alive counterpart.

oh yeah, and the more obvious surface-level connections to top it off? ghostbusters? john ain't afraid of no ghost girl. john would be genuinely interested in what aradia living as a ghost irl on her planet and not as a gaming abstraction in the furthest ring would be like. i imagine she would be able to explain the subjective experience and that she had to prototype herself into the kernelsprite order for her server player to see her. there's also no way john hasn't seen a movie as classic as indiana jones and judging from her poster i can imagine he probably thinks it's sweet that aradia's strife specibus whipkind is a reflection of her own personal tastes, interests and hobbies.

so yeah i've just been chewing on all of this and thinking about it but i know i needed to just get this out there somehow. obviously since i spent two weeks putting this post together i'd be happy to hear your thoughts

[penkura]

Hey there my lovely penguin lover,

I hope you will like my idea. I would love to see a scenario where penguin has a fever or something like that and y/n takes care of him. And maybe he has a fever dream and is confessing his feelings for y/n and because he is delulu in this moment maybe he thinks its a dream and kiss her or something like that and the next day he doesnt remember anything anymore. Y/n is flustered af and shachi (maybe the Rest of the crew) is teasing him because they knew that he might done something.

Does this make any sense? Anyway i hope you will like this idea. Many love to you and twke care of yourself.

Omggg hiiii fellow Penguin lover, your fics make me so happy to see them omg.

I loved this request sm, but I had to break it into two parts! I didn't want it to be too long and wanted to make sure I hit everything, but here's part one! I'll have part two posted soon and tag you in it of course!! :)

Normally you wouldn’t mind being left behind while the rest of your crew took off to visit and scope out the most recent island you’ve surfaced it, your captain Law giving you all a reprieve to have a small break and stretch your legs. You’d go into town with Ikkaku, or Shachi and Penguin, sometimes Bepo, and start to find where you could restock anything that was needed, before reporting to Law and him letting you go do as you pleased. Ikkaku was likely to drag you into all the stores to find new clothes and the like, Penguin would always look out for a bookstore to take you to, and Shachi and Bepo would find a place for all of you to have a meal together before you returned to the Polar Tang. That’s under normal circumstances though.

Today, you’d rather be out and in the sun, but you’ve been enlisted to take care of the bedridden Penguin. He’d suddenly come down with a fever the day before, your captain believing it to be stress, it didn’t seem to be viral or anything like that. Penguin had likely overworked himself, something he’d become prone to doing lately for some reason, you’ve even told him to relax numerous times, somethings could wait until a bit later to be done, but he’d quickly brush you off with a smile and run off to whatever was next.

“What a sorry state you’ve gotten yourself into, Penguin,” you hum while watching him, a damp washcloth covering from his forehead down over his eyes while he tried to breathe easily, “I told you all of that stuff could wait, or I could’ve helped you…”

Penguin has been out of it for hours now. He’s woken up a few times, almost in delusion from his fever, once thinking he was in the ocean outside the submarine and another time believing there were aliens hiding in the ship. Law tried to keep him asleep longer with a light sedative, that was before the alien dream that woke him in complete terror. He only calmed down enough to go back to bed when you started talking to him, promising him everything was fine, and he let you walk him back to his bed. Law requested you stay behind today, it seemed like Penguin was only going to stay calm with you around, but he’d send Shachi or Ikkaku back later to give you a break.

Now, he’s been completely calm and sleeping the last couple of hours, it makes you happy to see him finally relaxing. You do wonder how on earth it was only you who could calm him down, not even Shachi was able to convince him to lay back down after the second fever dream. Your red-haired friend snickered a bit, saying something along the lines of “as if you don’t know”, but you really don’t, you’re still confused by it. Ikkaku had wished you good luck when she left, a smile on her face that told her she was thinking about your crush on Penguin, and how you now had alone time with him, even though he’s sick in bed.

You flip through a magazine Ikkaku let you borrow for a few minutes, before you hear Penguin start to stir, moving to take the washcloth of his face before you move to stop it.

“Hey, wait, you still need that, Penguin,” grabbing his hand to stop him, you realize the washcloth isn’t cool anymore, he must be warming up again, “Let me get this wet again, lay back down.”

Penguin barely recognizes that its you taking care of him, his fever is making everything foggy in his head, its like he’s not really there. But he believes he must be dreaming again, there’s no way you, who he’s been absolutely enthralled and in love with the last three years, was taking care of him. Its another fever dream, right? Right, it must be Ikkaku taking care of him this time, the fever is just making him think it’s you. He sits up and tries to focus on your back, still convinced it’s just Ikkaku taking care of him, and just starts talking.

“Hey…Ikka…you think she’ll…hate me?”

“What’re you talking about? Who would hate you?”

“[Y/N]…will she hate me?”

Once you have the washcloth wet again, you bring it over to Penguin and start pressing it against his forehead, tilting your head in confusion in the process.

“Why would I—she hate you?”

“Cause I…I love her so much…but haven’t told her…”

Stopping, your face feels flush, and your heart picks up, not having expected that from Penguin. Ikkaku has never told you that Penguin has feelings for you, let alone that he’s in love with you. She’s never giving you even a hint that he might like you back, even with you constantly swooning over him secretly. She seemed to have a smile every time you did, always telling you to just go down the hall and tell him, it had been four years for heaven’s sake, its about time some kind of romance happened on this submarine!

“I…what?”

“You’re a girl…how do I tell her?”

At least he can’t tell that it’s actually you he’s talking to, the fever is really doing its work on him. He really thinks he’s talking to Ikkaku, you wonder how many times they’ve gone back and forth about this, if he’s asking about it now.

“Just,” you take a deep breath and try to make him lay down, but he’s still much stronger than you even bedridden with a high fever, he doesn’t budge, “Just tell her, Penguin…I’m sure it’ll go well.”

“But how?”

“I don’t know!” Penguin relents just a bit and leans back a little when you push him, but he still stares you with those half-lidded blue eyes, its so hard for him to make out that it’s you still. “Just…tell her! Go up to her and say, ‘I love you’ and see what happens!”

He quiets, looking like he might be thinking even though he really should be laying down, before nodding and speaking again, like he’s practicing and has done so with Ikkaku multiple times. He has, you just don’t know right now, Ikkaku tells you this later down the line when you bring this day up to her.

“Okay…[Y/N]…?”

“Y-Yeah, Penguin?” you swallow, still wondering if this is actually happening or if you’re having a fever dream now. It can’t be real; it just can’t be. There’s no way Penguin loves you back, just no way.

“I…” His fever is hitting him again, he really should be laying down, but he doesn’t realize he’s doing this, “I…love you, [Y/N].”

You think he’s passing out when he starts to lean towards you but realize he’s not when he quickly kisses you, being actually passing out and his forehead hits your shoulder. He’s still burning up, from the fever or embarrassment you’re not sure, but now that he’s back asleep, you’re able to push him back to laying down again. Placing the washcloth back on his forehead, you don’t stay in the room and instead leave, quietly closing the door behind you while your face burns out of your own embarrassment and you finally take a real breath again.

That didn’t just happen. That DIDN’T just happen. He’s delusional because of the fever, right. Of course he is, he thought we were being invaded earlier. He didn’t know what he was doing.

“Hey, [Y/N], you go—”

You scream when Shachi places a hand on your shoulder and tries to ask what’s going on, making him scream too because you scared him just as badly as he scared you.

“What’d you scream for?!”

“You scared me!!”

“Well why were you so lost in your head?!”

“Because--!” You cut yourself off because you don’t really want to tell Shachi what happened, even when he gives you a concerned look before you start running towards your and Ikkaku’s room. “Nothing happened! I’m going to my room!!”

Shachi tries to stop you, but you’re gone too quickly. Now he’s starting to think you have a fever that’s making you crazy too, before he goes into the room Penguin’s been resting in and hears him mumbling something in his sleep about you. Most of the crew knows about Penguin’s crush on you, making Shachi wonder if his best friend’s fever induced state made him do something he shouldn’t have, or wasn’t really ready to.

“What the hell did you do, Pen?”

[bahrtofane]

promises under the stars - jude pov

Jude never meant to replace you. But that's how it ended up isn't it. There's no one to blame but himself, no one behind each and every decision that now has him standing at the end of an aisle, waiting for his bride. A bride that isn't you. 

highly highly recommend reading this fic first. or else it kinda doesnt make a whole lot of sense on its own. then come back here. this is kinda like a part 2? kinda

shout out to this anon for this idea ! hope you like it

word count - 2.1K+

watch it - well angst, yet again. pregnancy talks the works. sorry if i used ur name for his wife xoxo. enjooyyy

p.s. - shout out to @anadiasmount for the inspo to create the image at the end ! go read all her stuff yall so good

—————-

He thinks the moment it all comes crumbling down is when he gets word of you getting mobbed. After you've just been to Madrid with him. And he can't do anything about it but send security and hope it doesn't get out of hand. 

He expects you to give up right then and there, curse him and wish for him to have nothing to do with your life again. But you don't. You can never bring yourself to blame him. To hate him.

Then comes your whole family suing him for something completely out of his control. Fresh after your father has threatened him, this is just what they need to come after him legally. 

It's okay because they don't win. Of course they don't. How stupid do you have to be to try and sue for going on vacation for someone you love. He wants to call you every step of the way. But his lawyer warns against it. So he doesn't. And you’re left in the dark.

Do you even know that they've tried to sue?

He can guess what you're thinking. He knows you too well. You think this is him taking an exit from his life. He doesn't want it to be this way. Maybe its for the best after all he finds himself thinking. Back to the thoughts of letting you go for your good as much as his. 

But like most things in life, things get muddy. 

He spends his time in a whirlwind of emotions, all leading back to you. He can not go more than an hour without you in his mind. 

Even if his texting habits dont show it, he wants to talk to you every second of every day. Do you remember when he would call you to complain about the mundane. When he stubbed his toe, or drank out of his mind, pressing his nose against the screen trying to feel you against him. 

Things have changed. He’s no longer the same youthful Jude with a penchant for recklessness. Taking day trips to see you, skirting around paparazzi and your families just to have a moment together.

He misses you, but he’s scared to reach out again. So he remains silent and an onlooker to your life. 

Funny isn't it. World class player with more money than he knows what to do with is scared to text you in fear of what your families will say or do. 

And yet, he can’t stay away for long can he. His resolve breaks on your birthday. Months and years have gone by. Legal cases are drawn out go figure. And he's been so busy with games every few days and events he can never say no too. When he gets home his bones ache, only finding the strength to clean himself up and go to bed. 

When he calls you he realizes maybe it's too late. That waiting for things to blow over have left a gap in your time together. He knows nothing but memories. Your life eludes him. He tries to go back truly, but seeing your story while you're out with friends, smiling- actually smiling. He thinks he better not intrude. 

His mother isn't helping one bit. She's come to the conclusion that the only way to move on and get your family off his back for good is to just move on. Find a “nice sensible girl” she says, smiling.  

Jude doesn't want to. It makes him sick. Kicking and screaming the whole way about it. It’s not a bad idea in theory. Pretend to date someone. Your family gets off his back his family of yours boom you can be happy together again. 

So he can learn who you are again. Find a way into your life. Do you still tilt your head when you're confused? He needs to get back to you. He can't let someone like you leave. He doesn’t just love you, he’s fascinated with the person you’ve grown into. 

The thought of you with anyone else makes him sick. He still loves you, and he makes himself believe that the same is true. 

If only right.

He meets Kaylie in the dead of winter. At a sponsorship event that he completely forgets about and shows up an hour late to. He looks around trying to find his agent but before he can even say his usual rounds of hellos he spots his mother standing with a blonde who clutches her necklace to her chest while she laughs.

This is the start of his own nightmare.

He comes back around when he knows he has to. After taking his sweet time talking to everyone. He tries to look for help to get out of the encounter but it's already too late. His mother is flagging him down. So he walks over, already sweating. 

His mother all but pushes them together. 

“What a couple you two are.” she beams, hands clasped together. 

He gives a tight lipped smile and tries to wiggle his way out the awkward slew of introductions Kaylie gives of herself. But his mother gives him a look, grabbing into his arm and making stand and listen. 

There's a look in his mothers eye, he knows what it means. This is the woman that's supposed to replace you. He feels sick. 

——-

Along the way he thinks that maybe this is what's best for him. For you. 

His family all love Kaylie. And she's sweet enough.

Nothing like you, dragging him into different clubs while you linked arms to get ice cream at the same time.

He finds it hard to keep up with her. Her life is fast paced, more so than his. Every time he calls she's in a different country it seems, catching flights and going to fancy resorts.

You never minded a quiet night in. Its what you loved, being able to exist with him. 

Most of all she doesnt know him. She knows Jude Bellingham. The player, the figure, the celebrity. She doesn't know that he has a bad habit of touching his ears when he's nervous, how his eyes go wide at praise and teasing. How without a hundred reminders and alarms he truly would be late for everything. You always helped getting him to things on time.

When you were both awkward pre teens struggling to make sense of the world, you’d stop by his house to make sure he wouldn’t miss the bus. Sitting next to him on the beaten leather seats, and spitting facts you learned the day before. 

He always listened. He still would today. 

He doesn't think Kaylie’s noticed anything about him. She spends most of their time together taking pictures and flaunting him around. He pretends it doesn't bother him. Is the peace even worth it at this point?

She doesn't know how much he loves making little daisy chains, how much he loved putting them in your hair when you were kids. You’d throw a fit, but he never missed the look in your eyes when his fingers would swoop down to settle them gently. 

Kaylie is beautiful. But she's not beautiful like you. She may have an expensive taste for clothes that allows her to put together a stunning outfit for any occasion, cleavage on display while she pouts her lips and bats her eyelashes for a kiss. Kisses he never gives her. He can't. Not when he knows you wait for him. 

Sure she's great by the average man's standards. But she's not lovely like you. You could be in a trash bag and he'd still think you're the most gorgeous person on the planet. 

He thinks this whole Kaylie thing will blow over, that he'll be able to get back to you. 

And he tells her this. 

He goes through the motions, just to shut everyone up. 

Sitting her down when his mother isn’t around, “I don't love you. I will never be okay. I'm only here to get my mom off my back.”

And she laughs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “Okay Judey whatever you say,” bracelets clanking together.

The name makes him want to hurl. “Get out of my house.”

Kaylie has got it in her head that she's here to stay. They've gotten into screaming matches because she's gotten her hands on the spare key and spends her days lounging in his house while he's away. They're not even officially dating by any means. 

And he keeps finding her in his bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. Giggling and acting coy. He's losing his patience and losing it fast. 

“Why did you give her the key.” Jude storms into his mothers house. 

She's making tea, swirling a spoon in her mug,”she's your woman isn't she. She needs one.”

“No. She's not my woman and you know that. Everyone that.”

She set the spoon down in the sink, going over to where Jude stands.

“Jude. you need to focus on what's good for you. And she wasn't good. You should be lucky that they didn't win the case. I went and told them about Kaylie and how wonderful she is. Be thankful. “

He's losing his mind. He needs to talk to you. 

He gets the chance when he's back in his hometown. And he sees you. He doesn’t think he could ever miss you, not even in a crowd. A rush of people stop him from running right to you. So instead he texts you. For the first time in ages. 

Was nice seeing you.

He hopes you can read between the lines, that you still know him well enough to understand what he really means. 

I still see you. 

For Jude is a coward. 

——

You dont reply. He forces himself to go back to what hes been forced to know.

Kaylie is all over him, hands roaming his body. There are days when he gives in. Sharing a bed with her as a cruel demented way to find some sort of release from everything that goes on around him.  The look on her face after its all set and done makes him genuinely want to punch something. A look of arrogance, like she's won something. 

And to top it all off he's been called up for England. His life gets even busier, if possible. Trying to keep up with it all proves to be grueling.

But light comes in the form of you. In the form of a single text.

Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.

You're proud of him? You watched him? 

The words bring him to near sobs, the light of his phone illuminating his hotel room while hes getting changed into his pjs. It's completely dark, his personal preference. And hes so happy he would fly the damn plane himself to see you. 

Before he can even think of a reply Kaylie tells him she's pregnant. Barging into his room with a little white box in hand. He thinks is some sort of congratulations for the game. Tacky card, maybe a watch. 

When he opens it, his world comes to a halt. Its a single pregnancy test.

He wants to cry. He's too young to be having kids let alone with her. It makes no sense to him. He always used protection the handful of times they did sleep together. Each time he'd only cry in the shower trying to scrub off her smell and the feeling of her touch off of him. She's only a distraction he tells himself. Too late for those words now.

It feels so wrong, so so wrong. He was supposed to be waiting for you and here he is sleeping with another woman. Who's now pregnant. He wants to vomit. 

He's in too deep now. And he can't be a deadbeat dad. 

Thoughts of you get pushed back to his mind while he scrambles to deal with the consequences of his own actions. 

When they get back to Madrid, his mother doesnt let him off easy. Screaming at him till he thinks he's popped an eardrum. And yet there's a gleam in her eyes like she's happy it all worked out this way. Doting on Kaylie and rubbing her belly (that's not even close to showing yet), and calling herself grandma already. 

The next step is obvious. He has to marry her and make it work.

So he does. An impromptu wedding that happens so fast he doesn't even hear the congratulations from everyone. He doesn't know how to break it to you so instead he posts on instagram and tries to figure out what his life has become. 

Jude is nearing 25. He has a kid on the way. He's married. He hates his wife. He hate himself.  Can you ever forgive him?

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

Big fan of the idea that Victor THOUGHT he gave his number to Yuuri and that's why he was so jilted at first (on account of he thought he got played then ghosted), and then the next morning he's scrolling through his phone and realizes he doesn't have Yuuri's number and promptly realizes that oh shit no he didn't, that was someone ELSE he gave his number to, he misremembered!

Like, he didn't check before then because he wanted Yuuri to contact him first in an attempt at being coy, overthought it and got depressed ala 'omg he doesnt wanna talk to me after all wtf that bitch q0q', and then takes Yuuri's rendition of Stammi Vicino as just that. "....This is it. THIS IS THE SIGN. I've waited months for this!! Maybe he's just phone shy!!! Fuck it. Two tickets to Japan for me and my dog, pls!!!!"

And THAT'S why we go from "I have gold medals in negging too!!"

(BULLYING HIM. MEAN TO HIM. This is exactly what you say to a guy you barely know who you're trying to seduce yep yep)

to, "So...... who's my competition for your hand in marriage? How straight are you? I promise I won't judge you if you've been with a woman before, I have too!"

(I love how he just lights up the second Yuuri's like 'no, no girlfriends atm' lmaoooo)

Like maybe he was all touchy feely and "lets sleep together Yuuri!" in an 'I'm willing to put this aside to be with you' thing? But maybe after he had that little crying jag after Yuuri flipped, it prompted him to check his assumptions/that thing he'd been taking for granted as 'obvious' the past few months because none of this makes sense...

And realizes whoops he fucked up, cus he warms up, like. SO fast.

Also

I think that would make this reaction even funnier than it already is lol

"Not only did we not exchange numbers like I thought we did buT HE WAS BLACK OUT DRUNK THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?!??!?!?!? Holy hell what must he have been thinking this whole year. Oh my God. I can't believe this. I have fumbled this seduction on so many levels how tf am I engaged I can never tell anyone about this ever for as long as I live. I especially can't tell Chris, after all that bitching I did about getting ghosted he'll RUIN me."

And speaking of Chris, this could explain why he's so catty too about Yuuri 'keeping Victor to himself' and 'sinning'. His bestie retired to coach the asshole who ghosted him? Seriously?? Before Chris could even beat Victor to gold??? Nah hon. Who wouldn't be protective in that situation even if the bridges there are 'mended' so to speak? And then be forced to let it go when he sees first hand how close they really are and how happy Victor is because of Yuuri?

The second Chris discovers what the shit happened he's never gonna let Victor live it down, nope lmao That's going in the Best Man speech.

Speaking as a person with a terrible memory who has to do the 'did I remember to take my pills? Yes, I did. I recall that I did. ...No wait, no I didn't I'm thinking of yesterday' daily, I think this is a possibility!!

[kookidough]

analysing vance hopper because he lives in my head 24/7 !

tw for like. literally everything the black phone covers!!!!!!

also there's some special effects gore rather far down in the post idk just i feel like i should warn you just in case

okay so before anyones like "but bee!!!! he only had 6 minutes of screen time in a 102 minute long movie!!!!! he was only on screen for 5.8% of the movie!!!!!" and to that i say i Know it was a real tragedy so a lot of this will be built on personal interpretation and subtext and stuff said behind the scenes and whatnot

so firstly i wanna rot about what his childhood/upbringing might've been like..... i havent quite decided on something definitive but i think we can take one look at his character and realise that is glaringly obvious he had a bad childhood, in one interview the actor that plays him (brady hepner) says "the background i had set up for vance is that the reason he was the way he was is his home life was fairly difficult, you know maybe his dad was either not there for him or he wasn't supportive, maybe he was fairly abusive, and so that creates a hair trigger sense of rage in vance" hair trigger meaning his patience is literally as thin as a strand of hair it does Not take a lot for him to snap

there more to it after that which i'll get into soon but yea thats the gist of it it's clear he had absent/neglectful/abusive parents and that would certainly contribute to why he's so angry all the time, maybe acting so explosive was the only way to get his parents' attention, either good or bad, so he just internalised that. obviously rage and anger issues like vance's lead to violence (not in all cases but in his case it does) and i think a neglectful and abusive upbringing would obviously expose him to more violence than a normal childhood would, therefore normalising it and desensitising him to it, whether he's seeing it play out in his own home and/or on television or something like that (because i doubt his parents would be the kind to monitor what content he's viewing)

i feel like he has little control over his life and that only adds to his anger, which in his case leads to a fight when his buttons are pushed too many times. i think he probably takes great pride in being the toughest in town and whatnot and winning fights and being perceived as strong and scary is good to him and helps him regain control/power, something he doesnt have at home. the rest of the quote from the interview i mentioned earlier states "this pinball machine could have been the only thing that he has in his heart that's like, good, like 'holy cow i did this, i set the score,' so when someone comes along and messes it up for him, it takes away the only thing that he has. i think that that's when he switches to a 'now you're gonna pay for that'"

similar to what i said about fighting, the pinball machine and his high score is something he has control over and its an important part of his reputation/image like. hes literally pinball vance ! and the whole thing about that high score being the "only thing he has in his heart that's good" implies that hes. well. pretty shit at everything else, which is pretty much canon if you remember that gwen said vance was held back twice in school. makes me think that while he's not the brightest in school he's certainly street smart

moving onto ermmmmm him getting kidnapped era because im sure youre wondering "well bee if he's so street smart then why did he get kidnapped" so may i raise two theories (this is. literally all i got and its not even concrete, me and my friend gray (@staggersz) tried to figure out how this could even happen and this is the most plausible thing we've got. so shoutout to him real quick he has had to deal with me being unnormal about vance for like a year and a half thanks king couldnt have done all this without my rotting buddy)

so either he got taken by surprise (most likely option) or vance's trust was gained first via getting given quarters at the pinball machine and small talk and shit like that but this is unlikely because i feel like it'd take a loooooong time for someone like vance to trust a some random stranger adult man when he clearly has issues with trusting and respecting people older than him and people with authority (e.g. cops, his parents, or school officials) so yea being taken by surprise would probably be the most realistic option, i always see people on tiktok being like "how did the grabber kidnap vance hes so strong!!!!" dude its a 15 year old boy against like. a 45 year old man who's already claimed two lives its really not gonna be a fair fight here

before i get into the next part i wanna quickly address a theory i absolutely Hate and it is so easily disproven and that is the theory that vance is the grabber's son or is related to him in some other way and i see it Far too often on tiktok and i HATE it. from what ive seen this all stems from his dream sequence where he kicks open the fence to albert's house and, presumably, goes inside after being dropped off by the police after the grab n go fight. idk if some people just straight up didnt realise this but clearly in real life he is going to his Own House??? in the dream it's only albert's house because this is how he chooses to show gwen the house she's trying to find her brother in, the house that he himself was killed in??? i hate the theory i hate it sm

the dream sequence itself is interesting though as the ghosts seem to only be able to conjure up what theyve seen in real life (like how bruce can picture the outside of the house and show that to gwen but the house number is all flipped and not right beause he doesnt know it) so vance being able to picture the house and the number and the gate and every detail would imply that hes seen it before, but im going to explain that away as either he got out once before like with finney's failed escape attempt, or the house is most likely on the route he walks to school or the grab n go or something and he hasnt actually been there prior to being kidnapped

mini rant over now onto being kidnapped i guess, so i used the missing posters to try and estimate a timeline of how long each ghost boy would've been in the basement for (although the missing posters are notoriously unreliable for details such as looks/height/age/etc, the dates seem to all line up). so we know the order is griffin, billy, vance, bruce, robin, finney, right?? if we use the poster date then billy was taken on may 4th, 1976, a month and two days after griffin was taken (april 2nd 1976). vance was taken on september 23rd 1977, almost a full year later (stay with me im going somewhere with this), and after that bruce was taken on july 18th 1978, again almost a full year later

its established in the movie that the grabber stalks his victims before he takes them (canon because we literally see the van watching finney and gwen as they walk home from school early on in the movie) but we dont know how long he does this for since griffin/billy and robin/finney were taken such short distances apart and then the others were taken such long distances apart, also it's possible he could stalk his next victim while the previous one is still alive, etc etc lots of confusing factors, but if i've done the maths right then the absolute maximum time vance could've spent down there is 9 months and 25 days, or 298 days, so erm . let that sink in !

howeverrrr in the movie gwen states that vance went missing "last spring" and september is definitely not in spring, meaning he could've been down there for a year or even longer. an explanation or excuse i could think of for the movie and the missing poster saying different things (other than the missing posters being known for some areas being wildly inaccurate) is that maybe he was taken in spring but wasnt labelled as officially missing until september, when he was properly linked to griffin and billy's similar disappearances and the mysterious grabber? i can imagine it'd be very easy for law enforcement, especially in the 70s, to dismiss someone like vance as a runaway until they get solid evidence that he was taken. idk though thats just my personal excuse / angsty headcanon for the difference in information

not sure what exactly killed him but we do hear from vance himself that "he took his time with me" so it was probably blood loss from a variety of injuries, if we look at him in his ghost scenes we can see his hair is absolutely covered in blood which indicates head injury, he clearly has a broken nose and bruising around his eyes as a result of it, he has these deep cuts on his abdomen area (apologies for the image quality but i believe they're like. sfx pieces you would wear under clothing)

and he also has just like. minor bruising (like the fingerprints on his arm) and other random blood splatters on his face and neck (assuming the blood down his neck comes from wherever he was bleeding on his head) so Yeah overall very unpleasant way to die obviously

okay now the part thats actually in the movie and it only took me 13 paragraphs to get here: vance as a ghost!! first thing i wanna point out is appearance wise i just want to say that when he's a ghost he's missing his choker and that fact Pains me. anyway personality-wise i feel like being violently murdered has, understandably, kicked his rage up to like. the highest level it could possibly go. he's insanely snarky and downright rude to finney on the phone, showing no empathy to the fact that finney is literally in the exact situation he was in

i feel like the whole "this is the nightmare end of your pathetic little life" and "if you knew what you had coming, you'd be fucking terrified" thing is definitely to scare finney on purpose and to get him to do something, vance might as well have just told him he's never going home cuz thats how it came across LMAOO, it is startling though because vance is clearly speaking from experience, that he was literally fucking terrified, and he is warning finney in his own weird way

the thing i think sets vance apart from the other ghosts is that while he does help finney, he does it for a different reason than they do. the other ghosts want finney to escape, to get out, to be free, to live, but personally i dont think vance cares about that. the only thing he wants is for albert shaw to be dead, for someone to seek vengeance, to do what vance couldn't. vance doesn't care if it's bruce or robin or finney or whatever boy could've come after that, he doesnt care as long as that man gets what he deserves after what he put vance through, and i see this through the scene at the end of vance's call where finney thanks him for his help and vance says, and i quote, "helping you? this isn't about you, fuck him! and apologies for being repetitive but to me it just literally proves that to vance, this isnt about finney or his escape, its just about revenge

we dont get to find out what happens to the ghosts once the credits have rolled, and i dont think we quite know enough about tbp's version of ghosts to guess what theyre up to, but i have a few theories :3 maybe theyre no longer bound to those two houses and they can now go anywhere they want in town? or maybe since their shared goal of stopping albert has been achieved, the ghosts can finally pass on to whatever is waiting for them next. i dont think vance would be content to pass on that quickly or easily as anger lingers, but i hope he'd be able to let go of it eventually, and hey we might find out in the sequel. i pray it mentions him cuz i will just die if it doesnt

sometimes, ok thats a lie, frequently i think about an au where he survived or escaped or whatever but ohhhh boy this post is already a train wreck so that au would deserve its own essay of a post :3 if u actually genuinely read this far then Wtf thanks for reading the ramblings of an absolute madman, only pure delusion could get like 20 paragraphs about a guy with 6 minutes screentime but hey thats how i roll, thanks again to my pal gray for letting me rot and thank u to my other pal ana for also enduring all this rot

hope u enjoyed my interpretation of vance hopper im going to crawl in a hole now and probably brainrot some more, thanks again for ur time :3

[gold-rhine]

finally had time to play archon quest, and it was really good! SPOILERS for 5.1.

the obvious standout was the war section, it really surprised me bc i dont remember invasion even in like srs business games like dai, bg3, wotr, etc that had so effectively impacted the fear, tragedy, hectic battlefield, feeling helpless at the scale of it. maybe mass effect 3, but they ruined it in other ways.

usually its like. there are groups of enemies all around the map, the npcs are running around and you save them, yeah there are a lot of corpses, but it doesnt feel that meaningful bc there are corpses around all the time anyway in these kinds of games, and you just move from one group of enemies to another, clearing the map. if there are checks of where you went first to see who survives, it can be even worse bc then you will have players make very specific step by step checklists and find any exploits that detail which is the optimal order of doing things so you save whoever you want, with best loot. so it ends up feeling very detached, bc you sit there with wiki open on another screen, weighing costs and benefits. even if you don't, the usual reload and the set events and *how* players moves around the map give much sense of control, you know you can get best outcome if you wanted and you have your priorities.

but here, first of all, you have an option to choose where to move, but it will move time, so you can't just clear the entire map. and the fact that the "missions" do not have playable characters you already know at stake and instead have npcs you don't know at the beginning ends up working better, at least for me, bc choosing where to go next is not just benefit analysis bc you get best loot or get to save your pookie. instead its a choice between options which are equal to you as a player, so it feels like making personal decision instead of just optimizing in-game strats. and so then when you see the missions you didn't go to turn dead or even go here and everyone is already gone, it just hits different. so the lack of prior information or any worldstate checks ended up working much better, at least for me, to make this an emotional decision instead of rational calculation, and so it affects emotions first.

how they used UI to subvert expectations is also insane, like you see that stat screen of percentages of abyss corruption and so on and you're like oh, i know how it works, its bad now, but i will be clearing the map and it will get better :) and then it keeps getting WORSE and WORSE, instead of doing lil completionist clear of all "!" marks on the map, they go dead, map gets swallowed by the abyss fog, it really feels like chaotic dashing between whatever points left and feeling relief when you see at least *someone* survived at the next one. incredible use of the medium in a way only video games can accomplish to build dread and anxiety.

special shoutout to paimoin's voice actress, i was always saying its not her fault paimon is annoying, its direction, and now she *finally* was given material to work with and she fucking CRUSHED it. like, when we find a baby saurian who is a sole survivor hiding, with corpses of its family all around, and paimon tries to cheer it up and direct it to the safety, her voice is tangibly wavering and filled with tears, but she's trying to keep it together bc she needs to encourage baby saurian, despite knowing we don't have time to stay with him and so we don't now if he'll survive?? insane. brilliant performance. and then when we fly next to the canopy tried, visibly overtaken by abyss, and paimon cries out, a single shuddering cry, half-choked and distressed, instead of going "oh no, it looks like abyss has taken over canopy tribe! thats bad!" like writers usually have her talk. and then when after a pause she quietly says that this war might be too much for paimon, and traveler encourages her and she rallies back, like that lil scene made me like paimon and believe in their friendship more than literal years of her incessant yapping and looking into camera going "we're the bestest friends!"

but also the fact that you can get to know the NPCs you managed to save, and meet them again, they have their own lil storylines, their own optional checks which are not forced on you, but if you do manage to help them , you get to meet them back in safety and it feels so good, gives players enough feeling of agency that your actions DO matter. very good handling of scales, the grand country wide invasion swallowing entire map in despair vs personal, individual level victories. you save whoever you can and every life is equally precious.