#when you have the time to rest and recharge knowing you are safe

[trashlie]

Manifesting Stalkyoo~

Just to get it out of the way: PLEASE KNOW THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN! I don’t want anyone to take this in a weird way or like it’s some ridiculous demand I’m making lmao. I’ve just been having a delightful time talking to other Stalkyoo shippers and just romanticizing silly things we want to see so again: THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! I know fandom has been weird about shipping stuff because of the... ugly past lol so I feel a weird need to remind people that my shipping is just secondary enjoyment of ILY and that I will continue to love and read ILY wherever it goes. 

With that out of the way lol please also note there are spoilers all the way up to 224, so if you don’t FP episodes, this post is not safe for you! (unless you like spoilers. i don’t judge people, I like spoilers, too) 

Look, I’m not good at writing fanfiction. I’d love to, but I always feel like it’s difficult for me to portray characters the way the original writer does. I think about it, every now and then, dabble in a little idea, something I might like to see, before the storyline plays out in a different way, but I just never trust myself, so this is about the closest I ever get to that. And even still, I think of these little musings, these silly little “oh I’d love to see ______” very inline with fanfiction, wherein I acknowledge that what I’m hoping for or imagining is very likely to not happen. It’s just the fun of exploring story and the what-if’s and little AU tangents where ONE little thing tweaks. 

For me, the fun of shipping is just playing with those character dynamics, which is another reason fic is so difficult for me - I enjoy my pairings, my characters, within their circumstances. That’s not to say AU fics are unfathomable to me (I LOVE THEM), but more so that it’s hard to write something knowing that I don’t know everything, that quimchee will pull out a surprise and I’ll be like oh my god I should have realized! And again, I guess that’s where musing is fun. You get to play out those little what if’s for yourself, get to imagine a scenario that probably will never come to pass. That’s the fun of fic + canon, to me! Not once has quimchee done something with her characters and their story that really surprised me in an “oh i don’t like this” kind of way. I can say “Oh I’d love to see xyz scenario play out” but when instead abc plays out, I’m not mad. 

I also fully admit that I tend to compartmentalize my shipping thoughts and whims separately from my general commentary, and I guess for the previously mentioned reasons: this fandom has an ugly, nasty past with shipping and even still, there are a lot of people who demand romance from ILY and don’t seem to care about the actual story at play or even weirder, seem to think that it detracts from the romance they think should be happening???? (”when is she going to choose one of the brothers it’s been so many years and episodes waaaah) And I guess, yeah, I get a little self-conscious, because (and this is feels so embarrassing to actually word) I acknowledge a lot of people read my commentary and my opinions! And I’m so happy for that, I love being so communal with everyone! But I do get worried someone is going to take something out of context and be like “omg can you believe she’s one of those weirdo romance demanders” or something lmao, hence this weird long useless diatribe. But yeah, basically, I’ve been talking with people lately and god just thinking about my shippy feels and how much I love the current story - one step forward, three steps back; the struggles to open up; the struggles to deal with feelings in the face of much heavier, scarier elements; etc. etc.

Sometimes you just wake up and you’re like: I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT STALKYOO so you do it because you have a birdbrain and you know is screaming afljkfkjafkjakfjaf LMAO 

If you’re reading this, chances are you aren’t new to my blog so you’ve probably read the likes of my Foundations of Stalkyoo, Why I Ship Stalkyoo, and Further Thoughts on Stalkyoo (I just never shut up huh) posts, so I’ll try not to like, completely repeat everything but if it happens well. It can’t helped, can it? lol 

Anyway something I’ve been talking and thus thinking a lot about is where we stand with Stalkyoo, now that we are getting more confirmation of actual budding feelings. I always reiterate that anything can change, but I also like to remind myself that something quimchee has said in the past (and this is loosely paraphrased) is that whenever it does come to a pairing, it will be made obvious before it gets there, because this is NOT a primarily romance-focused story which means there aren’t as many storylines that deal with just the will-they/won’t-they and the likes, and I think likewise, there won’t be a real love triangle the way most fans tend to think of them. So often a love triangle gets boiled down to someone being torn between two people for whatever reason and i just don’t get the sense we’ll be seeing that? Thus, I do feel like we might well be moving into a territory where we will see some kinds of scenes setting up, or maybe better put, enabling the possibility of a relationship between Shinae and Nol? 

But first. I always say I don’t really try to predict things because I’m always proven wrong, but I still like to try for fun lol, just because that’s part of the joy of reading an on-going story, I think! I’ve waffled a lot on it, but I still feel like when we reach our big time skip (not the first one taking us to graduation, but rather the one that jumps us a few years ahead), there has to be a REASON. Narratively it’s hard to imagine what that reason might be beyond the likelihood that we’ll see our three main characters on separate paths. It’s the only thing that makes sense, because otherwise you end up with a lot of story happening off page, right? If Shinae were to go to Japan with Kousuke, we’d end up missing their reconciliation and Kousuke earning her trust (or if it were to go the opposite, becoming cold acquaintances). Thus, I think Kousuke will go to Japan, but Shinae will take Rand’s advice begrudgingly and take up Yui on her “offer, while Nol will probably go to college abroad. He wasn’t denied admission to Oxford - it’s just not guaranteed there will be a spot for him. 

I know people take umbrage with the idea of Shinae taking up Yui’s offer, but hear me out. I don’t think it’s meant to turn Shinae into some kind of conniving, cunning person in the likes of Yui, as much as just introduce her to this world, give her a better understanding of how people in this society and business work and thus, start to get an idea of how Yui works. While I don’t think it’s easy to ever be one step ahead of Yui, I do think developing an understanding of her world helps to at least defend herself from Yui - start to see traps in advance and how to avoid them, find ways to evade her clutches, that kind of thing. I do think the idea of Yui holding that over Shinae’s head is terrifying and it’s feels more dangerous than going to Japan with Kousuke, BUT again, the idea is that she would become better equipped to defend herself and fight back. 

Of course, I don’t think Shinae in this moment is prepared to make that choice, and it may be a choice that comes after Yujing’s big scoop is revealed. Perhaps realizing how much more dangerous and powerful Yui (and the Kims) is would make her see what Rand was trying to tell her. I think she hasn’t fully figured out just what is going on with Yui and Rand, either - why would he be pushing her against his wife? But I think the information Yujing has compiled could help her see that bigger picture. If someone like Rand has spent twenty-five years struggling in this battle with her, how could Shinae ever hope to stand against her with even less understanding, with no sense of WHO Yui is or what makes her tick. 

The thing about this that I always struggle with is: how would Nol regard that? We know he feels vehemently about Alyssa idolizing Yui and taking advantage of her connection to the Hiraharas - and yet he stayed with her, knowing that she benefits from him (but that he does, as well). Would he feel the same, if he found out who was enabling Shinae to go to school? Would they talk about it, since Shinae knows how he feels about it? Would he be able to understand, when even he himself doesn’t seem to realize that his father finds himself trapped by the Hiraharas? That’s... stuff I can’t try to predict, because I think everything is possible. 

I promise I’ll get to that a little more.

The narrative benefit of separating the main characters is, of course, that first off, no major development happens where we can’t watch it. Sure, they’ll go about their lives and things will happen, but I don’t expect it to be major things that would make us go WAIT WHAT?! Otherwise, what brings us back itnto the story after time passes? For a long time my idea was that they’d all go their separate ways and maybe even their relationships would be a little damaged, so that when they come back into each others’ lives, part of the story is recovering that, reconciling with the past and maybe finding new futures together. 

Especially regarding Nol and Shinae, I’d wondered if we would see him leave without reconciling with his friends, and that we’d see him and Shinae meet again after some years and Shinae would have to contend with their unresolved past, with feelings she never had a chance to really identify, let alone explore, and the aching beauty of having to figure out who each other after now that they’ve grown and changed, and if there is room in each others’ lives for one another, if they fit in with who they’ve become. And don’t get me wrong - i do like that kind of bittersweet ache, haunted by the ghosts of what never came to be, having to relearn each other. But the more I’ve talked about this (especially a lot with @bittrbuttr, the more I realized that’s not exactly what I want with them. 

Like, it’s good and achey, it really pulls at your heartstrings. But I think that better suits an actual romance story, where the focus of the story and plot is on those feelings and untangling them, on finding their ways back to each other. I don’t think that’s the story of ILY, though. 

I keep dancing around my point and I apologize, but we all know I’m nothing if not circuitous and I promise we’ll get there! 

Here’s the thing: we know that Nol and Shinae are not in the space to become romantically involved. The feelings are there. They are drawn to each other, we know Nol finds comfort and peace in Shinae and that he always struggles to really push her away. We know that Shinae cares so deeply about him that no matter how much he hurts her, she still wants to try, she still wants to be there for him. I find the hope-tinged pain of 223 really poignant in that way - she wanted to SEE HIM, in a moment that was so special, she wanted to share that joy and get a glimpse at who he REALLY is, and he was unable to do that for her. But still she hopes for the best, still she intends to keep trying, to be as persistent as he was, even if she has to find a different approach. 

They are so important to each other, and I’m hoping that might be a catalyst? 

I understand what Nol’s struggle is. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable, to feel weak, especially when those parts of him have been used against him the last 6 years of his life. He is full of so much self-loathing and isn’t comfortable with his own weakness and vulnerability, thus he can’t show it to Shinae, he doesn’t want her to see him like that. He’d rather let her think he just doesn’t need to see what exists between them, that he doesn’t need to see her indulging because it’s enough to just bring her joy - and that itself hurts enough! But I want him to at least be honest about it - tell her that you don’t want her to see that part of you. Will it change things? Probably not significantly, but it puts her one step closer to understanding doesn’t it? 

And so the thinking is - or rather, the hope - is that maybe Nol will realize this? 

We see some of it in 224. Upon Dieter’s arrival, instead of a hey welcome back or anything, it’s an immediate “Did you bump into Yoo?” and when Dieter reassures him that she’s fine, it’s just stuffy, he knows a. it’s not fine and b. he feels bad. I think he felt that regret immediately, when he noted that she’s angry and he took off the blindfold and she wasn’t there. Nol is so used to pushing people away, it’s his first line of defense, but when it works? When he succeeds at driving that wedge? Again it’s that battle of will vs want - he thinks that pushing her away is the right thing to do for her sake, but he doesn’t ACTUALLY want it. 

It’s so difficult to go back to how things used to be having gotten a taste of something better. It’s so difficult to push out everyone when you’ve allowed yourself to indulge in being loved and cared about, and and I think that’s what Nol’s biggest hurdle is. 

Don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot of hurdles with him lol and clearing one doesn’t exactly make the others any easier to clear. But something we’ve seen from Shinae and that I think the story has tried to impress upon is that things are easier when we aren’t alone. Burdens shared are burdens that weigh a little less. We’ve Shinae and her father talking about being a team - about sharing that burden so it’s not so hard for just one of them and distributing that burden more easily. We’ve seen it in Shinae opening up about her problems with her friends, her insecurities that made her doubt her friendships. Her realization that as scary as situation as her sister breaking into her home was, it was made more bearable with a ragtag group of goofs who will protect her. 

Nol needs to learn to share that burden. He’s spent so long treating himself like an island, he hasn’t had the opportunity to remember that it’s easier to endure something when you aren’t exhausted from shouldering that burden all by yourself. There is strength in numbers. He’s been so run ragged from just trying to endure, trying to get by, trying to survive and how is he to ever fight back against Yui when he’s exhausted just from treading waters? 

I mean, ultimately Nol needs to learn to love himself, but I think it’s easier to tackle allowing others to love him, first. Allowing himself to share the burden, to show those weaknesses and let people have his back. Be able to slump over and know that someone will help keep you standing, you know? And maybe through that, he can find it in him to start loving himself. Of course, he has other problems he needs to address; in order to love himself, he has to forgive himself, and I hope that Yujing’s article can help in that area. I’m sure he carries the guilt of his mother’s alleged suicide, and maybe he was even made to believe that. It wouldn’t surprise me if the time he spent in the mental facility only served to make him feel worse about his existence, made  him believe he was the root cause of the bad. Maybe even, like Nana, he had an argument with his mother before he death and felt that if they hadn’t argued, maybe she would never have made that choice?

Clearly that’s still a little complicated for us to fully dig into, but as horrible as learning that maybe her death was not a choice she made is to learn (I cannot imagine having made this peace with someone I loved reaching a point so dark they made that choice, only to find out that it was, possibly, murder. How do you deal with that? What do you do with all that new grief, that new anguish?), I think maybe, if he learned that she didn’t choose that, it might help free him from his shackles of guilt. 

But I think until he can learn to forgive himself, until he can make that peace, couldn’t letting people love him help? Wouldn’t it be better for him to move forward knowing that he has people who will not only defend him, but who can ease the weight of his burdens? 

As dramatic as Nol and Shinae separating on these rocky grounds, unable to fully reconcile, makes for a good, dramatic romance, I think it’s much better for Nol to move on as a team. To let himself rely on others isn’t something he can learn over night, of course, but isn’t it better for him to enter a scary phase of his life knowing that there ARE people who he can talk to about it? There ARE people he can eventually let see those weak parts of him? 

So my ultimate hope for Nol’s extension is that in that time, he and Shinae find that peace after all. I still can’t help but feel like the three-day-extension is significant, because why else include it, if it was to pass without event? Especially because, depending on how it works (is it 3 additional days INCLUDING the 22nd or 3 days extra, beginning the 23rd?) we’ll hit the holidays. That just feels... too significant, right? 

I want Nol to grapple with his feelings, let his fear take over a little. Is he really as ready to lose Shinae as he tries to be? He seemed to regret hurting her, hanging his head after Dieter reassured him she was fine, even though she refuses to come back in to the room. And I can’t help but feel like it’s significant that she’s still lingering in the waiting room. My thinking is that Nana will get involved - she knows that Nol is upset about someone, she knows other friends have been watching over him, she knows there’s a friend who isn’t coming back in. She can read him well, so it’s not like it’s difficult to read that maybe they had a fight, that he was brusque and brushed her off the way he tries to do even to Nana. Will she go out there to see who this friend is? Will they talk? I feel like they HAVE to - not just because the fandom has waited for it, but because I think Nana can probably glean that Shinae (”Yoo” lol) must be someone important, if he’s acting like that. 

And look. Did Nana see the blush? *I* saw the blush, I’m not getting over that. I’m sorry but he lmao pushed her away, regretted hurting her, and he’s still getting flustered because he pictured her mouth. BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYY. YOU’RE A MESS. 

I don’t expect her to fully intervene in like, trying to make things happen way lmao I think it’s more like... Nana knows better than anyone that Nol is a difficult person to love. I say this with affection, because it’s true. He pushes people away, he deflects from himself, he never opens up, it’s hard to read what’s going on in his head. And Nana also knows of the darkness that looms. She was right there when he pleaded guilty, concerned about his reasoning. She’s listened to him talk about how maybe everything would be better if he didn’t exist. She knows that the darkness has a strong grip on him. So who better than her to encourage Shinae, to thank her for her patience and tenacity, for sticking with Nol even with the way he acts? I’d like to see a little bit of that comfort between them, some reassurance that Shinae is, in fact, making the right choice. She oscillates so wildly between her extreme emotions; sadness and melancholy that caring is not enough and how it sometimes comes out as anger when she can’t find a better way to channel it. We know she doesn’t really regret planning that birthday celebration - she’s just hurt. And I think it would be a big help to have Nana tell her how much it means to see Nol with friends who care about him despite how prickly and difficult he is, how she worries about him and is glad there are people who care about him. I think it would really encourage Shinae that her resolve is right - that she just has to find another way to approach him, that it’s worth the effort. 

And at that same time, yes, I want Nol’s fear to kick his ass. I want him to realize he faces the very real reality of losing someone who cares so much about him, who is willing to put up with him because of how much she cares and how special she is to him - and that she wants him to see it, too. I want him to fear losing the comfort and peace she brings him. I want him to have to finally face head on his want vs what he thinks he deserves, and see what a future without someone like her is like. Can he bear to return to that kind of loneliness? Can he bear losing her concern? How it feels for her to take notice of him, to probe, to listen? 

Like, at the risk of getting really corny and dramatic, that’s what it comes down to. I don’t want Nol to come back in a few years and decide he’s ready to face all of that. I want him to move on from this point knowing he’s not alone. I want him to be able to face prison knowing that he’s not so alone, that there is someone who will always be there to support him. I think that’s what makes the most sense. Leaving on their current circumstances works great if it’s a romance and that’s the main story - but making up, talking, being honest? That makes more sense for THIS story, where Nol starts to grow NOW, where he starts to make those important steps that will help him find his way to healing, and more important, that will help him face the forces that taunt and haunt him.

He doesn’t have to be completely honest with Shinae, because I don’t think he’s ready. I don’t think he’ll tell her that his mother took her life, and that he believes it’s his fault. But I think it would be enough to tell her the truth he couldn’t stay to her face - that he doesn’t want her to see him like that, that it’s still hard for him to open up that way, that it’s still SCARY - but that he doesn’t want to push her away, that he’s sorry he keeps hurting her. We could even go more dramatic with a callback to the hospital scene - that he’s sorry he isn’t good enough and is undeserving of her (AND LET HER REASSURE HIM THAT’S NOT TRUE THAT HE IS). BUT JUST. IDK I WANT HIM TO FACE IT. ADMIT IT.

He doesn’t have to tell her he likes her. That’s fine. Just reiterate what she means to him! One moment he’s telling her she’s special to him, that he cares about her, next moment he’s telling her it’s okay he doesn’t have to look he’s fine like this. STOP JERKING HER AROUND ;~; lmao like don’t get me wrong. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

But I also want to see them move into our time skips with a sense of understanding and peace, you know? I don’t want want Nol to face his fears alone anymore. I want him to let someone stand by his side. I want him to accept how good it feels to rest on her shoulder and know that it’s okay, she’s there.

I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY I JUST. I WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO FIND T HAT STRENGTH IN EACH OTHER, TO BE STRONGER TOGETHER. 

And to call back to my earlier point lmao I like to think if they get to that point, then maybe he would understand, if Shinae accepts Yui’s offer. Maybe he would see how it’s different from Alyssa, that Shinae made a choice to protect herself, that it’s not about the idolatry, it’s not a self-serving choice, but one that protects her and enables her to fight back. Knowing that they are on the same side, that Shinae isn’t a doe-eyed naïve girl about to be taken advantage of again, but one who wants to fight back against the people who hurt her and others like her. 

We’re about halfway to 3/5 of the way into this story, and I think that’s a good point for Shinae and Nol to join forces. 

AndlookthisiscompletelydaydreamingbutiftherewasaChristmaskissIwouldcertainlynotobject

PLEASE I JUUUUUUUUUST i want to see them on the same page, I want to see them moving forward TOGETHER. I don’t want Nol to keep walking on his own. I don’t want him to just accept Shinae at his side, either; I want him to CHOOSE to let her choose his side. ;A; 

GOD. PLS. BARKS AT THE MOON I’m just ready for them to bE A TEAM I’M READY FOR NOL TO BE SELFISH AND TO GO AFTER WHAT HE WANTS I WANT HIM TO CHOOSE COMFORT AND SECURITY OVER PUNISHMENT I WANT HIM TO REALIZE THERE IS STRENGTH IN COMPANIONSHIP. I know being close to him puts her at risk - but he needs to see that no matter what, she’s at risk, and isn’t it better if she’s in danger with someone who can help, than to be all alone with it? I WANT HIM TO FACE THAT FEAR OF HIS AND FIND THAT MAYBE HIS DESIRE, HIS WANT, HIS NEEDS ARE EVEN BIGGER. That it’s better to find peace with her than spend the whole time afraid. Isn’t that the thing? He’s always afraid - afraid of someone else getting hurt, afraid of another opportunity being stolen away, afraid of the next time Yui will find a way to hurt him. BUT TO BE ABLE TO FIND COMFORT WITH SHINAE? 

Please. Just open up - be honest!!!!!!! But most importantly APOLOGIZE. Apologize for hurting her, apologize for pushing her away.

I realize, based on what she said on the hospital roof, that maybe he won’t make that choice, that maybe her persistence has to be a long game, that she does have to wait for him to forget to put the mask back on.

But wouldn’t it be so nice if he chose to move forward with her, instead of alone, to face their nightmare and battles together? ;~; 

[smoft-demons]

MC needs some extra love

_______

You’re having an off day. Your demons have asked to make sure nothing’s actually wrong, just to be safe, but they’ve seen you like this a few times before. They understand. You’re just feeling down for no particular reason. Just sad and low energy. Extra tired.

Nothing happened, no one hurt you, nothing’s wrong… you just woke up in a low mood. Because it simply be like that sometimes. You just… need some extra affection today. No reason. It’s okay, they’re not judging. They’ll do what they can to cheer you up a little—they love you, you know. They want to see you smile at least once today.

_______

Lucifer:

When Lucifer notices your mood, he softens towards you a lot. He asks if anything is wrong first of course—they all do—but once he learns that there’s nothing he needs to correct and no one he needs to punish on your behalf, he just softens. He treats you more gently than usual.

He expects you’ll get fed up entertaining all his brothers, with their endless chaotic energy. So he invites you to hide out with him in his office. You are invited to just sit with him and read, or put on some music, or play a game on your DDD, or just rest… or whatever it is that will help.

He’ll even let you curl up in his lap and cuddle with him if that’s what you want. That cheers him up too.

He quietly redistributes the most taxing of your chores for today amongst the seven of them, to give you time to recharge.

You’ll find Levi and Beel doing the dishes for you when it’s your turn, or if you’re supposed to make dinner you’ll find that Mammon and Asmo have already ordered everyone takeout, and they’re already in the middle of setting it all out on the table. You won’t have to do a thing! If you were supposed to clean up a common space in the house, it’ll already be done by some of your assorted pact partners. You might even find sticky notes placed amongst your homework in Lucifer’s, Satan’s, and Belphie’s handwriting, suggesting edits and books titles to check for better information, and pointing out any parts in your work that are particularly well done.

When you check your DDD later, you see that Lucifer had instructed his brothers to take on what they can from you to make your life easier today. He was not planning on letting you know that, clearly—because he sent that in the brothers group chat. You only know because Karasu’s spy feature showed you.

His support is shown in all these soft, quiet details. Peaceful moments. Simple, but unmistakable reminders of how loved you are. It’s okay if you don’t smile today, even though he would like you too. He will verbally remind you that loves you anyway.

_______

Mammon:

Mammon’s first instinct, of course, is retail therapy. He offers to take you shopping. He’ll even pay for your stuff! He doesn’t mind if it makes you happy!

You appreciate that very much—and maybe you’d be happy to take him up on that if you were sad for a reason, but… you just have no spare energy. Just thinking about going out exhausts you more. You’d have to deal with looking at things! And forming opinions, and deciding on stuff to buy! There’s crowds and cashiers and bright lights and just… stuff outside! You can’t, you just can’t. You have no energy and you can’t.

The first time Mammon sees you like this, he’s confused. You don’t wanna go out? You don’t want any new stuff?? He sure hasn’t felt like that before!

He puts effort into figuring out what will actually help cheer you up instead. He’s considerate that way.

He tries taking you for a long drive. He tries taking tasks off your to-do list. He tries trailing after you all day to keep you company, holding your hand, chattering all day so you can’t hear your thoughts, staying quiet so you don’t get overstimulated. He cycles through every possible approach over the months, on every random day you happen to wake up like this.

It’s all greatly appreciated—and hey, some of his ideas work better than the rest! You feel loved and cared for regardless. It’s impossible to miss how much he adores you.

Eventually though, he strikes gold!

That particular day, he had been telling you a stupid joke every time he ran into you, in an attempt to make you smile. He gets a weak grin for his troubles just about halfway through the day. He beams at you triumphantly at that, impulsively scooping you up for a hug and repeatedly kissing the top of your head, and—aha! THERE’S the smile he was looking for!

From that point on, he knows what to do!

The next time you wake up in this mood, he takes the first opportunity to give you a playfully over the top show of affection. Over the course of the day, he keeps doing it!

He runs into you in the hallway between classes, he (gently) aggressively ruffles your hair as he passes you. He finds you aimlessly walking through the house, you immediately get snatched into his arms for a nice long squeeze. You sit with him as he’s scrolling through devilgram, he sets it aside for a moment to squish your cheeks between his hands and cover your forehead and nose with loud, playful kisses. You go up to him and request attention? You get kiss attacked, and he won’t let up until you crack a smile!

Your brain hurts, he says, echoing your very first explanation. It’s okay though, he says. He’ll kiss it better, he says.

He is MORE than happy to completely discard the tsundere façade to lean into this… over-the-top affectionate silliness, as long as it continues to make you laugh and smile like that.

He won’t admit it, but… this is more honest. This is much closer to who he is at heart than his usual behaviour is. Try as he might, he can’t hide how much he cares to save his life.

The realest aspect of Mammon is not the dumbass, not the money-grubber, not the uncaring cool guy that he pretends to be… no, it’s the goofy dork who loves you SO much that he’d go to any amount of effort to cheer you up.

He’s damn good at it too! HE was put in charge of your well-being for a reason! He’s the best big brother/guardian/friend/pact partner ever, and you’re his to take care of. He’s not letting HIS human go without smiling once for a whole day! You’re the sole member of his family he can openly dote on, and dammit, he will!

_______

Levi:

Levi’s go-to is, of course, distracting you with media. He tries games first, but if you’re too low-energy for that, he gets it. He tries anime, movies, shows, videos, manga, whatever you seem to respond best to.

You’ll notice a theme of letting others help, confiding in friends, opening up to people. There are repeated instances of characters asking for support from the rest of the cast and then being helped and taken care of. Lots of power of friendship stories, lots of hurt/comfort and “it’s rotten work” “not to me, not if it’s you” and team-as-family.

Maybe, just maaaybe, he’s trying to tell you something!

He relaxes when you explain that you just woke up like this, sometimes this just happens and it’s no one’s fault, there’s no problem, he doesn’t have to worry about you. He gets that! Sometimes he wakes up like that too. It does happen!

But… you’re his player two! He wants to worry about you!

So he takes care of you the way he wishes someone would take care of him when he gets like that. Gives you the extra love he knows first-hand that you need right now. He lets you choose the entertainment, he holds your hand, and mirrors what you do to self-soothe.

If you wanna lie on the floor and stare at his jellyfish decorations, he’s right next to you. If you wanna tell Henry how you’re feeling, he’s right there with you doing the same so you don’t have to feel self-conscious. If you’re stimming, he will too. That one makes him happy as well! If you wanna burrow into a pile of blankets and plushies like a hognose snake, he totally gets it and will also do that. He does that anyway sometimes, just because it’s comfy.

There’s not a hint of judgement from Levi. Ever. He gets it.

When you guys HAVE to leave his room, like for meals and such, he lends you his headphones. So you don’t get overstimulated from all the noise his brothers make. He never goes far from you, either. He always stays close enough that you can reach for him if you want to.

After dinner, when you’re tired and done with trying to act normal (not that even one of your demons is fooled), Levi brings you back to his room. He asks if you have any requests, anything you want to do, anything he can do to help you. If you know what you need, he’ll just do it. If you don’t, he’ll offer comfort in some form that makes sense to him. He understands that all you really need is some extra love when you’re like this, so he’s not at a loss. He gets it, he feels the same way sometimes, he can do that!

You end up curled up in his lap, hiding your face in his shoulder as he watches an anime you’ve both seen before at a low volume. Familiar and comforting. He’s happy to just sit and chill with you until you feel like you’ve recharged enough. He knows you’d do the same for him.

_______

Satan:

Satan’s instinct, once he learns what’s going on, is to bring you to the quiet spot outside where the stray cats he has befriended gather and then plonk the chillest one in your lap.

Cats are perfect fluffy little warm purring bundles of free therapy, after all. How could you not be recharged by this?

He’s not wrong, the cat definitely helps. It is in fact a perfect creature.

But… well, you don’t bother to spend the energy on saying so, but being outside isn’t really helping. You cringe at every loud noise. The wind ruffling your clothes every so often is annoying you. You’re sitting on concrete and it’s making you cold. The streetlights feel particularly aggressive to your eyes today. Very stabby. There are smells outside! No one wants that!

You love the cats, but Satan is giving them all his attention and you’re getting just a little bit jealous. You as well are giving the cat in your lap all your attention, and—as stupid as you feel about it—you’re getting a little bit jealous about that too. You want attention too! All the cat has to do is be cute and soft and it can have all the petting and cuddling it wants! As it deserves, yes, but… don’t you as well, though..?

You try to push that feeling away and just pet the cat. The cat did nothing wrong, you still love it, you’re supposed to be feeling MORE recharged from this! Not… whatever it is you do feel. At the end of the day you still enjoy petting the cat and you don’t want it to leave. That’s still true and that’s what matters, you tell yourself.

Eventually the cat decides it’s had enough petting for now, and gets up. Satan checks on you, fully expecting you to be thoroughly cheered up! Instead he sees you staring forlornly at your hands, mostly zoned out. Confused, he asks if you’re okay.

You nod once, giving him a hollow smile.

Now he’s concerned. He takes a minute to finish petting the cats surrounding him—noting the hint of jealousy in your eyes as you observe him—then comes to sit on the concrete stair next to you.

He gently points out that he knows you well enough to detect a lie. Especially an unconvincing lie like that. You give a noncommittal hum in reply. That’s all you have the energy for.

He wraps an arm around your shoulders, letting you slump against his side. Your head leans against his shoulder. His other arm comes up to stroke your head for a moment, then drops down again to take your hand.

In a small, tired voice, you thank him. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze in reply.

Eventually he adjusts you so he can hold you more comfortably. Every so often he kisses the top of your head, or rubs your shoulder, or squeezes your hand, or says something quietly to you. Pointing out a interesting leaf shape, telling you something inconsequential about his day, prompting you to look when one of the cats does something cute, reminding you that he loves you and it’s okay to feel like this. That he enjoys your company no matter what mood you’re in.

This helps a lot more. Eventually you have enough energy to reply to him in full sentences! He’s visibly relieved at that. Still, he continues to hold you.

It’s after this point that a different cat comes up to you. It sniffs your shoelace then rubs itself against your leg. It flops over your shoe, stretching adorably with its little paws reaching up. It looks up at you all wide-eyed and cute, and finally you give a short puff of a laugh. Satan feels it more than hears it, but still!! He feels successful!

You pet this cat as it stands up and sniffs at your free hand. You look at it with a little smile. There’s a bit more soul in this smile, to Satan’s relief.

Later, as the two of you are leaving, he slips the cat a treat and whispers a thank you to it. Then he takes your hand again and leads you back home.

(He makes a mental note to himself for next time: pet the sad human first!! Then go see the cats!)

_______

Asmo:

Asmo notices that you’re having one of those days today, and he rushes to spoil you. Like Mammon, his first instinct is to take you shopping—but specifically for clothes and makeup and skincare products. Stuff that would cheer him up.

But you’re tired, and he understands that. It’s okay, he still knows what to do!

Asmo brings you into his room. You curl up in a sad, tired lump on his bed. He lets you chill there while he gathers up the stuff he wants.

He returns to you with his arms full of stuff! Nail polish, face masks, a hairbrush, moisturizer and hair oil, etc etc. Stuff for taking care of you.

He makes a point of only doing stuff that doesn’t sting at all. No plucking eyebrows or messing with your cuticles or anything like that. Just the stuff that feels nice.

Asmo quietly chatters about people he knows and stuff he’s used and whatever the latest gossip he’s heard is. Not even really to inform you this time, because he knows you’re probably not gonna remember much when you’re like this, but more to provide you with a constant, grounding backdrop of his familiar voice.

He speaks softly to you as he wipes your face with cleanser and then proceeds with his skincare process. He gently brushes your hair, spending twice as long as necessary just because it feels nice. He insists you don’t bother to move as he sits next to you and paints your nails.

At some point he runs out of stuff to do, so he ends up just brushing over your face with a clean makeup brush. No product on it at all, he’s just doing it to make you relax, because it’s soft and it feels nice. It’s meditative, honestly. For both of you.

He spends a good long while doing that.

He finishes up and lies down next to you. He pulls you into a cuddle. You offer to return the favour for him. Do his skincare and hair and nails and stuff for him, spoil him back—because he deserves the best.

For the first time ever, he declines. He shushes you and holds you tighter. This is the only situation in which he would ever refuse that!

He says you’re more than welcome to return the favour tomorrow if you like, but for now he just wants you to rest. He did all that for you to get you in this relaxed state you’re in right now, don’t get up and un-relax yourself so fast! Keep your brain turned off! It’s good for you sometimes!

… yes, Asmo is surprised by his own selflessness too—more surprised than you are by now, knowing him. He’s always been selfless for your sake since you first became his friend. It still surprises him though.

_______

Beel:

Beel is your best guy for validation. For quiet, thoughtful, unwavering support. He’s a lot more insightful than he’s often given credit for. He’s one of the best people in this family in terms of emotional intelligence, no question about it.

He knows just what to do. He observes you as the day goes on, taking the first opportunity to pull you aside and check on you without any others around. Just to make absolutely sure there’s nothing else going on.

His voice is soft, his hands are gentle, and he puts effort into understanding you. You’re family, he loves you so much! So of course he would.

He’ll share his food with you of course—both because he wants you to know that he loves you that much, and because he’s trying to remove a task from your to-do list. You don’t have to think about getting food and preparing it and any of that if he just. Does it for you. You can spend your very limited energy elsewhere.

He’ll take you with him on his routine walk, just so you can have a change of scenery and an opportunity to chat uninterrupted.

He listens to you complain about being outside with his characteristic placid sympathy—a combination that would be a bit contradictory if it came from anyone else, but somehow makes perfect sense for Beel. It’s soothing. Reassuring, somehow. He helps a lot, just by being himself.

When you inevitably run out of energy—much quicker than you usually do, but you expected that—he offers to carry you. Or rather, he automatically goes to do it on muscle memory, because that’s just what he does with tired loved ones (Belphie usually). He catches himself and realizes he should ask first in this case. Just to make sure. He’s considerate like that.

You are very tired… and you want contact. So of course you accept the offer. How could you refuse when he offers so earnestly?

He walks in measured, consistent steps as he carries you. The sway of his movement is deliberately relaxing. He’s trying to lull you into a meditative haze, or maybe put you to sleep. Either is good, he thinks.

The warmth of him makes the… everything about being outside when you’re feeling this way a lot more tolerable. The sounds of his footsteps, his breaths, his heartbeat… all of that drowns out the background noise just enough. Your face is pressed into his jacket, so the streetlights don’t stab your eyes and all the distressingly inconsistent outside smells are entirely covered by the spices-aromatics-soap scent of Beel. It’s a smell you know very well, and the familiarity of it is grounding.

Everything about him is grounding, really. He really did know exactly what to do.

At the end of the day… it’s okay if you don’t smile. He would like you to, of course, but he will meet you where you’re at. Anyway, it’s more important to him that you feel like it’s safe to show however it is you actually feel around him. He understands the amount of trust that takes, and he’s honoured by it. Nothing is more important to him than that trust.

So, you don’t have to smile. It’s okay.

Don’t be strong, he tells you. There’s no need, for now. Just let him. Rest, lean on his strength—he’s got more than enough for both of you. He’s got you. He’s not going anywhere.

_______

Belphie:

Oh, you’re tired? A bit sad, a bit grouchy? Damn. Looks like even HE has more energy than you today. That’s not something he sees often! Well, that’s fine. He knows what to do.

It’s straight to baby jail with you!

In his arms, that is. In bed, surrounded by his best pillows, covered by the least warm heavy blanket he has, so you won’t overheat but will still feel nice and covered.

He positions you so you’re facing each other, with your head tucked under his chin. So you have room to comfortably breathe and talk, but your face is still as covered as possible so you won’t be bothered by any lights.

Emotional intelligence may not be Belphie’s strong suit, but he is observant and he understands exhaustion. This may not exactly be the usual kind of exhaustion, but still! There’s no demon better equipped to understand what’s going on with you right now, just by nature.

He’s totally fine with cuddling you in silence if you don’t feel like talking. That really works for him, actually, because it allows him to nap.

Not that he doesn’t WANT to listen to you. He does. He’d be happy to. But he gets it if you don’t wanna bother with that. It’s okay.

He will, however, delay taking a nap until you doze off first. He just wants to make sure you’re okay. He’s not about to just fall asleep and abandon you if you still need attention.

If you’re not falling asleep very fast, he will help. Not with magic, surprisingly. He’s being more… gentle, he supposes, than that in this situation.

He talks quietly about nothing important. The soft drone of his voice, kept consistent and deliberately soporific, melts into your brain like butter, slowing it way down. Blocking everything else out. Gradually turning it off. One hand rubs your back slowly, almost as if to match the rhythm of his voice.

It’s so relaxing. You feel like you could stay like this forever and never want to move, you’re that comfortable.

Belphie knows what he’s doing.

It works really well! He makes sure you feel loved and cared for, then makes sure you get some extra rest. Mental and physical recharging.

Of course, you wake up feeling a lot better. Maybe not entirely back to your normal self yet, but definitely better. How could you not?

You’re a lot less tired after you’ve slept, and less sad too… so he’s succeeded—but you’re still not smiling!

He can fix that, right?

He lets you get up and stretch first, of course. He does the same. Before you leave the room though, he wraps you up in another hug.

He pulls back to examine your face after a minute or two.

Hmm… you look comfy, but still no smile! He can’t have that! So he hugs you tightly again, but this time his fingers start to lightly poke and brush over your sides. He’s trying to force you to smile by tickling you. He’s not gonna do too much, he’s not trying to overwhelm you. He stops as soon as you crack a smile.

There we go, he says as he gives you one last gentle squeeze. That was all he wanted, he tells you.

He doesn’t let go of you for long, over the rest of the day. Always holding your hand, giving you random hugs, draping himself over your shoulders—but without making you take all his weight for once, because he knows you’re still kinda tired. Enough of it to be soothing, but no more. Just so you don’t get lonely. He doesn’t want you to get all sad again.

If you do get sad again though, it’s okay. He will squish the sadness out of you all over again, as many times as you need. He doesn’t mind.

_______

[2amriize]

˚⟡˖ cuddling with RIIZE

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist genre fluff pairing bf!riize x reader

ᯓ★ SHOTARO

Shotaro had spent the entire day out, as he had been rehearsing all day. You had the day off, so you stayed at home, enjoying some time to yourself. When Shotaro got home, you were already in bed, half asleep, as it was past dinnertime when he arrived.

While you were lying on your side, you felt his arms wrap around you, his body pressing against yours. His head rested on your shoulder, and you opened your eyes slightly.

"Did you just get home, baby? How was rehearsal? Did you have dinner...? Do you want me to make you something? I can…"

"Shhh... Don’t worry, I just want to hold you for a bit. I'll eat something later. You can go back to sleep, honey."

He whispered near your ear as he pulled you closer, caressing your hips while both of you closed your eyes. It felt so good to be in his arms that you quickly drifted back to sleep.

ᯓ★ EUNSEOK

It had been a really long day. Well, not just a day, but an entire week. It was Friday, and you had worked more hours than usual that week. You hardly had any time to rest, and you hadn’t even had the chance to see Eunseok, so you were really looking forward to spending Friday night with him.

When you arrived at his place, Eunseok greeted you with open arms and a smile, leaving a soft kiss on your lips. Still hugging, he led you to the sofa, where you both lay down. He knew perfectly well how exhausted you were, so he kept holding you, covering both of you with a blanket.

“It’s been tough, hasn’t it, princess?” he whispered, gently stroking your hair.

Your faces were only a few inches apart as you looked at each other. After a few seconds, you rested your head on his chest while he continued to stroke your hair, putting on a gameplay video on the TV.

ᯓ★ SUNGCHAN

You and Sungchan were training at the gym. It was quite late at night, which was your favorite time to go since there were usually very few people, but that day, the gym was completely empty.

When Sungchan finished his last set, he walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

"Sungchan, I’m all sweaty..."

"So what? I am too. I don’t care, I need to recharge."

He said, resting his head on top of yours, closing his eyes a bit. You smiled, looking at him through the mirror, gently caressing his arms as he tightened his grip on you. You leaned your head against his arms, continuing to stroke him, feeling him relax too much.

"Sungchan, you're going to fall asleep."

Hearing you, he opened his eyes, which looked a little tired, and glanced at you, confused.

"Let’s go home, baby, your caresses have relaxed me too much..."

ᯓ★ WONBIN

You had lunch plans with Wonbin, and you went to a sushi restaurant you both loved. After eating, you had planned to visit a beautiful park you had recently found, but suddenly the sky filled with clouds, and it started raining heavily.

Wonbin didn’t want your date to end there, so he suggested heading back to his place to watch a movie. Once you arrived, you noticed that Wonbin couldn’t stop yawning. You knew he had had a tiring week, so it wasn’t surprising that he was exhausted.

“How about we take a nap?”

Wonbin’s eyes lit up when he heard you, and in less than a second, both of you were lying in bed. Wonbin loved cuddling with you, resting his head on your chest, as his favorite thing was when you stroked his hair.

And that’s what you did. While he gently ran his fingers over your stomach, hugging you, you slowly stroked his hair, just the way he liked it. He fell asleep faster than you expected, which you found so adorable that you considered taking a picture.

ᯓ★ SEUNGHAN

Seunghan loved being cuddled up with you. He loved being physically close to you at any moment, in any place. He just loved having you in his arms. It reassured him to know you were safe and with him.

You also loved how Seunghan held you, always leaving kisses on your cheeks and looking at you with that cat-like smile you adored.

But there was one particular cuddling moment that was your favorite, and he couldn’t deny it. It was the aftercare moment. Sometimes you thought Seunghan was too sweet to be real. He always made sure you were okay and comfortable, staying wrapped around you for as long as you needed.

He loved softly caressing your body, leaving kisses on your neck and fixing your hair. He could spend hours looking at you and telling you how beautiful you were and how much he loved you. But he always ended up falling asleep after making sure you were comfortable and well.

ᯓ★ SOHEE

You and Sohee both loved video games, but what you loved more was playing video games together. Recently, you had bought a two-player multiplayer story mode game for the PlayStation, and you both had become hooked.

But it wasn’t just playing games with your boyfriend that you enjoyed, it was the way you played together. It’s worth mentioning that Sohee wasn’t usually very touchy most of the time, but when you were playing video games, he always let you sit between his legs while he hugged you.

You loved lying with your head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around you, it was so comfortable. And every time you cleared a level, he’d plant a kiss on your cheek with a big smile, which you found incredibly sweet.

ᯓ★ ANTON

Cuddling with Anton was like a dream. Everyone knew how tall Anton was, but you really felt how big his torso was whenever you hugged him or he hugged you.

It wasn’t uncommon for Anton to be hugging you, as he loved physical contact, especially with you. Most of the time when you were together, Anton would be giving you a back hug while you played with his hands.

But you had a favorite cuddling moment with Anton. It usually happened when you got home after dinner and spent the night together. Tired, Anton would always lie down on the bed, and when you saw him, you’d lie down on top of him. His arms would always wrap around your entire back, pressing you against his body while you both smiled at each other.

You would often stay like that for a while, playing with his hair or gently stroking his face as you talked or shared a few kisses before resting your head on his chest.

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist

taglist: @regularsuh @gacktsa @totheseok @kkumistars @taroddori

@enhacolor @ladylilith @electric-hearts @astrobymarwa @layluv123 @sunflowers1610 @nctrawberries

[cazshmere]

Advice & Support for the Moon Signs 🫂

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER : Just a little reminder that you're doing great, even when it doesn't feel like it. Life can be tough, but you’re tougher, and the storm will pass. You are so deeply loved, just as you are, and it's perfectly okay to take a step back when you need to. Give yourself permission to rest, to breathe, and to simply be. You’re not alone—there’s a world of support around you, even in the quiet moments. Hold on, because better days are coming, and until then, know that you’re wrapped in warmth, care, and endless encouragement. You've got this!🩵🫂

🩵 Aries Moon

1. You don’t need to prove yourself to anybody. You are absolutely loved just the way you are.

2. Learn to balance your need for independence with the importance of meaningful connections.

3. Don’t let impulsiveness lead you to make decisions that you may regret later. Take time before you react and to think things through.

4. Embrace your natural leadership qualities, but remember to consider the needs of others too.

5. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. You don’t always have to do everything on your own.

🩵 Taurus Moon

1. It’s okay to stay in your comfort zone at times. Don’t feel ashamed for taking some time for yourself.

2. It's okay to hold back from sharing your viewpoint at times, especially if you're not fully convinced of it yourself. Try to remain open to other perspectives and avoid being too fixed in your opinions.

3. Appreciate the beauty in the small things around you. It’s the little moments that make life rich.

4. Don’t let the fear of change keep you from evolving. Growth often requires stepping into the unknown.

5. Prioritize self-care and surround yourself with things that bring you peace and comfort.

🩵 Gemini Moon

1. Your thoughts are not who you are. Don’t define yourself based on them; you are so much more. Learn to separate yourself from your thoughts.

2. Stay curious and open to learning new things, but don’t overwhelm yourself with too many interests at once.

3. Take time to connect with your inner self, beyond the constant stream of thoughts.

4. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, but remember that listening is just as important as talking.

5. Cultivate deeper relationships by sharing your thoughts and ideas with those who truly understand you.

🩵 Cancer Moon

1. It’s okay to put your needs ahead of others. You deserve the same amount of love and care that you give to others.

2. Create a safe emotional space for yourself, where you can retreat and recharge.

3. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions. It’s okay to be vulnerable with those you trust.

4. Build a supportive network of loved ones who appreciate your nurturing nature.

5. Trust your instincts when it comes to people. Your intuition is a powerful guide.

🩵 Leo Moon

1. You don’t need anyone’s approval; you are the amazing just the way you are, it might not be easy to accept this but trust me it is GENUINELY true.

2. Shine brightly and embrace your unique talents, but remember that true confidence comes from within.

3. Don’t be afraid to take the spotlight, but also allow others to shine beside you.

4. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and celebrate your successes.

5. Remember that your self-worth is not tied to external validation. You are worthy just as you are.

🩵 Virgo Moon

1. Take a breather. Let’s count down together : 5…4…3...2...1... okay now that you’re back to the present here it goes, you have nothing to worry about and everything around you is already fine or will get better soon, don’t loose hope. When you do feel anxious, try grounding methods and focus on the present.

2. Embrace the beauty in imperfection. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved and appreciated.

3. Practice self-compassion and don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned.

4. Find healthy outlets for your analytical mind, like journaling or creative projects.

5. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to do everything on your own.

🩵 Libra Moon

1. You don’t have to be nice to everyone. It’s okay to stand up to people who treat you poorly.

2. Seek balance in your relationships, but don’t sacrifice your own needs to keep the peace.

3. Surround yourself with people who make you feel calm and balanced as it is better for your mental wellbeing.

4. Don’t be afraid to make decisions, even if it means disappointing others. Your happiness matters too.

5. Cultivate meaningful connections that bring joy and balance into your life.

🩵 Scorpio Moon

1. I know it’s hard to be vulnerable and truly express yourself to others, but you need an outlet for your emotions. Try journaling or recording a voice memo to let yourself fully feel your emotions.

2. Embrace your depth and intensity—yes, you feel emotions more deeply than most, and there's nothing to be afraid of. It’s genuinely beautiful. Experiencing emotions at such a profound level is a gift, but be mindful not to let it overwhelm you.

3. Trust yourself to handle whatever challenges come your way. You are stronger than you think.

4. Don’t be afraid to let others in. True connections are formed when you allow yourself to be seen.

5. Remember that healing takes time. Be patient with yourself as you work through your emotions.

🩵 Sagittarius Moon

1. It’s okay to cry without immediately having to laugh afterward. Crying is just as beautiful as laughing, so please remember to let yourself feel your emotions.

2. Embrace your adventurous spirit, but remember that it’s okay to slow down and rest when needed.

3. Don’t be afraid to explore new perspectives and ideas. Growth comes from expanding your horizons.

4. Cultivate optimism, but also allow yourself to process difficult emotions without brushing them aside.

5. Surround yourself with people who share your enthusiasm for life and support your dreams.

🩵 Capricorn Moon

1. You don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations but your own. In the end, it’s what you want and you feel that matters. If something isn’t bringing you happiness, don’t force yourself to go through with it.

2. Focus on building a solid foundation for your future, but remember to enjoy the present moment.

3. Don’t let the pressure to succeed weigh you down. Take time to relax and recharge.

4. Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and support your goals.

5. Trust in your abilities and know that your hard work will pay off in time.

🩵 Aquarius Moon

1. Your feelings shouldn’t be shoved under a rug. It’s okay to feel; emotions are natural and an integral part of being human. Don’t be ashamed to vent to others.

2. Embrace your uniqueness and don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd.

3. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who appreciate your vision and ideas.

4. Don’t let the fear of vulnerability keep you from forming deep connections. You deserve meaningful relationships.

5. Remember that it’s okay to change your mind and evolve. Growth is a lifelong journey.

🩵 Pisces Moon

1. Sometimes people take advantage of your caring personality. Don’t let your guard down easily, and be very careful with those around you. As a Pisces Moon, you can sense energies, and energy never lies.

2. Embrace your sensitivity as a strength, but also set boundaries to protect your energy.

3. Don’t be afraid to dream big, but stay grounded in reality to make those dreams come true.

4. Cultivate a spiritual practice that helps you connect with your inner self and find peace.

5. Surround yourself with people who understand and appreciate your compassionate nature.

banner/pic credits @/ecojinri

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[pinkanonwrites]

HANDS-ON LEARNING

Read 'Handle With Care' here!

Rodimus/Human Reader, NSFW, First Contact AU, AFAB Reader, GN Pronouns, G/T, Experimental Sex, Fingering, Oral (Receiving)

Since this is a First Contact fic, dialogue that is both bold and italicized are words that both the reader and Rodimus understand.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

Of all the ideas you'd had over the course of your life, this had to be one of the worst.

Granted, it wasn't as bad as trying to follow the blinking light into the woods after your car broke down, only to end up abducted by aliens. But it was pretty high up there.

But between said abduction and your ensuing rescue by the gigantic alien robots and the spaceship they called home, you hadn't exactly had a lot of time to yourself. And after days melted into weeks and you eventually began to lose track of how long it had been since you had been plucked from Earth, you were starting to get a little… wound up.

Most days were spent in between the massive metal fingers of a robot that you were pretty sure was named Rodimus as he shuttled you from room to room and presented you to his fellow crew members like a first-grader showing off their new pet hamster. But despite the glaring communication barrier and the ever-present threat of being squashed under foot, Rodimus was very careful with you. He made sure you were safe and comfortable, never picked you up without letting you know ahead of time, and did his best to communicate simple thoughts and ideas with you through hilarious, size-difference charades. It could be a little awkward sometimes, but he was nice! It was nice.

And then, about a week ago, Rodimus accidentally made you cum so hard you almost blacked out. And you couldn't stop thinking about it.

But honestly, how were you supposed to stop thinking about it? Sure, it was an accident, (or you were pretty sure it was, at least. Giant robot charades isn't always a perfect system) but it was an accident that refused to leave your mind. When Rodimus would lay on his big slab of metal to sleep, or recharge his batteries, or whatever it was that giant robots did at bedtime, you'd be lying awake in the little habitat he'd built for you out of his desk craving the sensation of sitting on the world's best and most attentive washing machine and letting the vibrations spark stars behind your eyelids.

So maybe it was a bit stupid, and horny, and frankly desperate to search out that feeling again from a guy four times your size who could crush you in his hand like a grape if he ever wanted to. But God damn if it wouldn't be worth it.

So that's how you found yourself in the position you are now. Naked, sprawled back against the surface of the desk with one of Rodimus's massive hands cradling your upper body, and a giant finger from the other tracing up the inner curve of your thigh. He seemed almost enchanted by the way your goosebumps rippled to the surface beneath his touch, letting out a pleased, mechanical warble.

He seemed to adore your softness compared to the rigid metal of his own skin, as Rodimus liked to squish you quite a bit. Never enough to hurt, just enough to feel the warm press of your skin between the joints of his fingers and hands, or to drag a curious fingertip down your cheek. But there was a particular meekness with the way he touched you right now, like he was only just realizing how easy it would be for him to hurt you. It was painfully sweet, and if you weren't absolutely aching for something more right now you may have been content to let him continue his gentle fondling.

"C'mon, big guy." You murmured instead, resting your hand around his wrist and pulling him up closer to the apex of your thighs. He let out a soft, surprised revving sound at your boldness, glancing at your face a few times before finally pressing the top of his finger up between your thighs, lying flush against your folds. If you had to compare the sensation, you'd say the feeling of leaning a little too far forward on a motorcycle seat was similar. It was warm, rumbling, pressing up against all the right places, but not quite enough to get you anywhere you really wanted. Still, you couldn't stifle your shaky moan, and that seemed to really get him going.

"Yes?..." He all but purred, one of the few words you had actually managed to learn between the two of you. The pointed chevron of his brow seemed to quirk up a bit on one side as he glanced down at his thick finger between your legs before back up to your gaze.

"Yes. It's good, I just… want more." You knew he couldn't understand your words, but the slow roll of your hips and the slick coating of your arousal over his knuckle seemed to get the message across just fine. He rocked his finger up against you, wet with your drooling heat as the jut of the joint slid up and over your clit again, and again, and again. Still slow, yes, but almost painfully good. Your hips jerked towards the sensation and he cooed, engine rumbling louder to course vibrations up through your aching cunt.

He murmured your name, or the best that he could approximate in his echoey, mechanical trill. From the hand cradling your upper body his massive thumb slid forward, dragging along the curve of your jaw and down to the jut of your collarbone with a delicate curiosity. Panting, you let yourself melt into his touch, rolling your hips against his other hand and shuddering at every other press that seemed to hit just the right spot. Fuck, this was good. Better than good, you felt like your brain was going to melt out of your ears, molten heat pooling low in your stomach as a pleasant buzz of arousal seemed to crawl through your muscles and out to the tips of your fingers and toes. It was probably way too early to be cumming, but you'd been pent-up for far too long already and the relentless vibrations only pushed you higher and higher, a rubber band threatening to snap as you gasped and shuddered and tossed your head back against Rodimus's enormous metal palm.

It was all you could do to keep your feet from kicking out as your orgasm washed over you, the aching clench of your cunt around nothing making you whine as his fingers slowed to a lazy, comfortable stroking. You blinked blearily up at him, a look of incredibly sly pride on his face as you went limp and content in his palm.

"Fuck, Rodimus." You groaned. It startled you, the sheer volume of his engine's snarl in response to your simple, fucked-out sigh of his name. But more surprising was the sudden press of two blunt fingers against your messy hole, slippery with your own arousal as they tried to work their way into you. "W-Wait! Rodimus, fuck, it's not gonna fi-MMGH!?"

With a wet pop, the tips of his two massive fingers slipped into your still-twitching cunt, stretching you wider than you'd ever been before. Even one of his fingers was more than big enough for you, but he somehow fit two? Your entire body trembled as you flopped back, slave to the impossible stretch and press of unrelenting metal against your most sensitive spots. Whimpers and groans were forced from your body with each minute flex and press of his fingers deeper, deeper, scraping spots you could never reach with your own two hands and stuffing you so full you felt like you couldn't breathe in properly. The heat that had only just receded was building again, impossibly quick, a tingling jolt underneath your skin that made the muscles of your legs twitch and kick outside of your own control as your mind struggled between spearing yourself further on this impossible stretch or wriggling helplessly away.

He was talking again, an incomprehensible clutter of mechanized boops and whirrs that you only barely managed to process in your pleasure-drunk mind. Then, with a sudden rush of motion and swoop of your stomach with the G-force, you were cradled off of the table with his free hand and held up to his face. There was a glow to his cheeks, a bead of liquid trailing down the side of his helmet as he gazed down at you. Robots could blush? And sweat? Apparently this one could, a gush of warm heat rolling over your body as he huffed, mouth hanging slightly open. Behind his giant teeth you could see a peek of a silver-grey tongue, a rippling smooth expanse of rubber and metal-mesh that crept towards you until Rodimus dragged it oh-so-carefully up the length of your cunt.

"FUCK!" You wailed, hands scrabbling for purchase against the joints and bends of Rodimus's hand as he swept his massive tongue between your folds. He let out a low, growling groan at the taste, burying his face between your thighs as he stroked and massaged your pulsing clit with the tip of his tongue. His fingers kept working, curling up towards your stomach on each thrust as you sobbed, abandoning your grip on his hand to clutch to the yellow chevron on his brow like your life depended on it. Your head was swimming, buzzing so intensely with heat that you could barely form a thought beyond the deep, impending well of your next orgasm. It pulsed from so deeply within you, a relentless wall of pleasure rushing towards you faster than you could prepare yourself for. All you could do was cling desperately to Rodimus's brow and hold on for the ride, sobbing and gasping and shivering as it crept ever higher, warmth blossoming out from your cunt and crawling across your shaky frame as pleasure exploded behind your eyelids. You wailed his name again, barely comprehensible, as each press of his fingers forced a gush of slick from your quivering hole and spattered into his giant palm. As quickly as it came his tongue swept it gently away, fingers slowing and letting out a low, melodic hum as your wails and moans trailed off into soft, sniffly whimpers. Finally, finally, after what felt like an eternity but couldn't have been more than a minute at most, he began to lower you carefully back down onto the desk, thumb rubbing a tear from your cheek as he pulled his fingers from your puffy, overworked cunt.

He cooed your name again, cradling your body in both palms. "Good?" He murmured, warmth from his metal palms seeping directly into your sweaty skin and aching muscles. You heaved another shaky breath, unable to form words so you instead shot the giant mech a wavering thumbs-up. In any other scenario that may have been a cripplingly embarrassing response to what was possibly the best orgasm of your life, but it pulled a beaming smile to Rodimus's face regardless.

In a few minutes the tacky feel of slick and sweat and robot saliva drying on your skin would begin to border on intolerable, and you knew you'd eventually have to rise to fawn-like legs and stumble to clean yourself up. But for now you were more than happy to lay sprawled in your giant companion's grasp.

Hell, maybe he'd even help you take a bath, too. After all, it's not like you had anything left to hide.

[waldau-archived]

hand in mine — lee seokmin | 1,550 words | fluff

slightly inspired by my friend and their partner, i didn't know it was possible for two people to be so in love :') here's just...dk being sappy. sappy dk.

gender neutral reader. warnings: bonus pov?

dokyeom swears you're like a portable human charger.

when he's away, whether it's because he's still in practice or because he's on tour or even when he's at his parents' place, a single phone call from you is enough to lift his spirits to get him through the rest of the day. weekends spent at each other's places together are almost enough to convince him to just become an apartment hermit.

it's been true for ages — and it's true again, tonight.

or it will be, if you'll stop talking to one kim mingyu.

dokyeom's getting antsier the longer you stand there talking to mingyu, nodding along to something he's telling you. can't it wait till tomorrow? doesn't mingyu see he's in dire need of recharging?

now he knows mingyu's not telepathic, but somehow the younger man realizes dokyeom's staring at the two of you, so he finishes whatever he's saying with a nod towards where dokyeom's sitting. you follow his gaze and smile when you see dokyeom, who swears his heart melts a little, right there.

but then you stop to greet joshua, chatting with him for a minute (a whole minute, in this economy?) before you're standing right next to dokyeom.

he stretches his arms out to you. you bend down, letting him wrap himself around you the best he can. it's good, but it's not enough. he lets go only to tug at your hand. "sit down."

you look around. "there's no place, kyeomie. i don't mind standing."

he frowns at you. "i mind. you can sit in my lap."

you give him a look. "in front of your friends? i'd rather not."

dokyeom pouts. "they're your friends, too."

"of course i know that, baby. but they don't ever stop teasing us, do they?"

"ugh. they'll make fun of me, not you. please?"

you run a hand through his hair. "i don't want them to make fun of you, either."

he huffs. "fine. c'mere," he mumbles, scooting to give you some more space. you go willingly this time, settling yourself into the minimal space next to him. it's not easy when there's already thirteen of them in a room, but he manages to nudge chan away to give you some more space.

"hi," you whisper, letting him throw his hand around your shoulder to pull you closer. "missed you today."

dokyeom pulls back to look at you. he feels almost shy to have all your attention on him, silly as it sounds. "just today?" he asks, grinning when you roll your eyes. "you got here safely?"

you nod, leaning up to press a kiss to his nose. "perfectly. there was way lesser traffic than i expected."

"good."

you snuggle into dokyeom's side, stretching your legs out next to his. this is always his favourite place to be — because he can have your words be all for his ears only.

but then he frowns when he sees your outfit — a shirt and a pair of shorts. he takes off his jacket and drapes it across your legs despite your protests.

"you should've worn something warmer," he frowns. you're never good with the cold, and you're not going to be comfortable with the way more than half the members need the air conditioning to be switched on at all times.

"i was almost ready to go to bed, kyeomie," you explain, adjusting the jacket on yourself nonetheless. "i wouldn't be here if shua didn't call me. thank you, though. how was your day?"

dokyeom sighs. he doesn't want to talk about his day when he's been living through it for the entirety of...well, the day, but he has to say something for you. "not...the best," he concedes, resting his head on your shoulder.

"do you want to go home soon?" you ask, your hand finding his, tracing random patterns on his skin. the tingles help ground him.

he shrugs. "i don't know."

it's true, as much as he hates it. he doesn't want to leave because it'll end up breaking up the party — it always so happens that the first person to leave is the catalyst for most others to start wrapping things up, unwittingly. he doesn't want to be a party pooper, but at the same time, he's had a long day. it's like he's been aware of every single second he's been awake, and it's exhausting.

"okay," you say simply. "let's stay for a while more. it's not like we're in a rush. and i know how hard you worked today."

dokyeom closes his eyes at that. he knows he's done well, today being one of those days where he's genuinely looking for the end, but hearing it from you makes it much better. "yeah?"

"yeah," you affirm, hand rising to comb gently through his hair again, left open now that he's discarded his beanie. "i love you, kyeom. so much. it's still hard to put it into words sometimes."

he snuggles a bit more into you at that, slightly satisfied when seungkwan chucks a piece of popcorn at him from the bed, telling you both to stop being so cheesy. he feels even better when you throw it back at seungkwan, letting out a triumphant ha! when it hits him on the knee.

he loves you.

there's no bottom to that endless truth. he's somewhat loved you ever since he first saw you, drawn to the way your sense of humour was so close to his, and the somewhat turned into a definitely the more he got to know you.

dokyeom isn't half of anything — he's all of himself, lee seokmin, content with the way he is except for a few gripes here and there, but you complete him in a way he didn't know any person could.

he's not worried about you leaving him — there's no way either of you are letting that happen. it's more about not knowing who he is without you, now that your lives are so intertwined.

"stop," you mumble, your grip on his hair tightening slightly.

"stop what?"

"thinking. about whatever you are. i told you i love you and i'm not going anywhere."

the haze he's in almost clears a bit at that. "how did you— i didn't—"

"you always get so pensive when you're tired, did you know? i should record you some time. it's like there's a philosopher hidden inside you."

pensive? when he's tired?

"i love you normally," he blurts out, scared at the insinuation that he thinks about how much you mean to him only when he's vulnerable like this.

you're not saying anything back, though. you're just smiling at him.

"what," he asks, breaths a bit shallow.

"i know," you press, hand lifting his to show the ring that sits on his fourth finger. "i love you normally, too."

dokyeom lets out a chuckle. he still can't believe it's possible to love someone this much.

"now let me get you home and help you get some sleep, okay?" you ask, punctuating your question with a tug to his chin. "the others will understand."

as if you have to ask him. he'll go wherever you take him, no questions asked.

joshua can see the change in dokyeom's eyes the moment you walk into the room.

the conversation doesn't stop; mingyu and jun are still arguing about how mingyu should stop taking inspiration from jeonghan when it comes to board games and cheating. jeonghan has a proud smile on his face. wonwoo and minghao have zoned out entirely, too busy with their phones to acknowledge the little fight going on. the others are busy eating or ordering more food or arguing about which movie to watch next.

there's just one person missing from the chaos.

dokyeom's sitting on the floor under the window, entirely in his own world, constantly checking his phone and looking at the door, shutting his eyes for a minute before repeating his actions.

joshua would've poked fun at him if he didn't know how tired dokyeom already was today. a particularly tiring day, especially with a comeback practice they'd just gotten back from, and a going seventeen shoot in which dokyeom had been on the losing team. even though he doesn't like to show it, joshua knows dokyeom is somewhat upset over not winning.

but the moment you walk into the room, it's like a switch has been flipped. dokyeom sits up straighter, the neutral expression on his face morphing into a tired but real smile. he holds his hands out to you and pouts when you stop to greet all the other members first, shaking hands with them or giving them a quick side hug.

joshua pulls you close with ease. "thanks for making it here on such short notice."

"are you seriously thanking me for that?"

"i mean...he really needs to see you. today hasn't been his day."

you look over at your husband for a moment. "i could tell. his texts were pretty dry."

"right? now go get your lover boy. he's been moping all evening long."

you wrinkle your nose at the term, just like he expected you to, but you nod and make your way to dokyeom.

joshua turns away when dokyeom gives you a dopey, lovesick grin. he'll let the teasing go for tonight.

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae

[reverie-starlight]

{peace - atsumu}

would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

putting this down as fem!reader, only because there are some specific nicknames I wanted to use (pretty girl, sweet girl, etc) no physical descriptions though!!

very soft fluff, like disgustingly soft. this is loosely based on one of my absolute favourite songs <3

“I feel so safe with you…” you mumble one night while resting against his chest.

it’s been a busy evening- going to one of his games and then to your work party immediately after. needless to say, the both of you are very tired. so tired that when you got home an hour ago, just past midnight. he had to help you get your pyjamas on and drag you to the bathroom before you flopped into bed and cuddled close to one another. you’ve been recharging with each other and focusing on some quality time you missed out on during the day.

atsumu feels his heart squeeze at the sound of your sleepy voice, soft and quiet and matching the persona you often take on when you’re exhausted.

he sighs in content and strokes the cheek not pressed against his chest with his thumb. slow and gentle. “yeah, pretty girl?”

you nod a little, nuzzling further into his skin. “you’re so peaceful.”

he freezes a little out of pure shock.

atsumu has never considered himself a peaceful person.

he’s seen his fans online lovingly describe him as chaotic, heard his teammates refer to him as energetic and sometimes hard to keep up with. he’s gotten abrasive, overexcited, intense… and what’s more, the lifestyle that comes with being a pro athlete is anything less than peaceful to begin with.

he still doesn’t see those as inherently bad qualities, even now that he’s older and doesn’t let his ego run the show anymore.

however he’s got it stuck in his mind that he could never give you peace. would it be enough for you? would you stay with him ten years down the line, even with all the flaws that he believes he is? he’s not easy to love, he knows it, but is he enough to make you stay?

and then sometimes you say things like that, making him question everything, things that change his own perception of himself.

“peaceful, huh? weren’t ya running your mouth this morning calling me a freak for putting my milk in before my cereal?” he tries to joke.

you giggle a little and he holds you tighter out of adoration. “well you still are, but you’re also very peaceful.”

he’s silent for a moment but he can’t help but ask, “how do ya figure?”

you do your best to word it properly. he loves the way your face scrunches up as you think of what to say. “I always feel so calm around you. more calm than I’ve ever felt around anyone else. and so extremely safe. I can be myself with you and I don’t have to worry about anything when you’re around because I know you’ll be there to help me if something does happen.”

he doesn’t know what to say, but you solve that issue for the both of you with what you say next.

“you offer me a special type of peace I didn’t think was possible, ‘tsum. you’re my angel.”

you make it seem so simple, like there’s nothing in the world that could ever dispute it.

he can’t stop his eyes from welling with tears. he’s always been an emotional person- he knows, he’s been berated for it since childhood, both teased and defended against others by osamu for it. he wears his heart on his sleeve and it wasn’t until meeting you that he considered it an admirable quality. he feels things deeply, and this hits him deeper than anything else ever has.

but you’re just as emotional as he is, so when you look up and notice him trying not to cry, you immediately tear up too. “don’t cry,” you sniffle, trying to wipe his tears while a few run down your own face. “I love you so much, atsumu.”

he sniffles as well, voice thick and full of love. “I love you, too, baby. how’d I end up with such a sweet girl, huh?”

you shake your head. “I’m not, I’m just telling the truth.”

he laughs through his tears. “and being sweet while doin’ it.”

he presses kisses to your forehead, mumbling small thank you’s against your skin. “for the record, I feel the exact same about you. my angel.”

you crawl up a bit so you could be face to face with him. you kiss him properly and taste the saltiness of your mixed tears.

“I didn’t think I could ever offer that to anyone. I’m not used to hearing it, so I stopped believin’ it.”

your heart breaks a little but you’re quick to reassure him. “well believe me. you offer me more than I deserve.”

“that’s not true,” he’s always so quick to defend you. “you deserve way more than I could ever give you.”

you smile a little bashfully and then pull a face he recognizes as the one you make when you’re trying not to yawn. “alright, sweetheart, we should get some sleep.”

he strokes your cheek and gently rolls you off of him so your head rests against your pillow. he chuckles when you immediately choose to rest it against his chest again instead. he loosely wraps an arm around your waist and kisses the top of your head.

you listen to his heartbeat and drift off. your breathing evens out almost immediately and atsumu thinks back to a time when you used to struggle to sleep around him.

he smiles to himself, wiping the last of his tears and whispers something you just barely manage to catch before sleep fully pulls you under.

“sweet dreams, baby. I love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

peace is one of my favourite songs ever, I very much relate to it. and I think atsumu would too. I wrote this at like 1 am so if there’s mistakes, or if it seems very all over the place, blame it on sleep deprivation and devastating brain rot for the boy </3

hope you enjoyed :)

some tags :3

@emmyrosee @dira333 @luvring

[wileys-russo]

This Video if Alexia has fic potential!!

All Alexia wants to do is get home to her sick girlfriend or something

Or she’s had a bad day and her girlfriend is the only one who can make it better

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8j3CBaG/

that video makes me so sad like? she's a human being. no hello, no how are you, just posing for a photo and wanting things signed without any sort of decency. she's way too nice

exhaustion II a.putellas

alexia exhaled deeply as she pulled into her parking outside of her building complex, and yet it had never felt less like hers as she immediately noticed the small huddle of teenagers clearly expecting her arrival.

her cupra hardly unrecognizable she watched as the first young boy noticed it, elbowing his friends and pointing out her car with an excited smile, the others all catching on quite quickly as they hovered by the curb clearly eagerly awaiting alexia to join them.

alexia was grateful to and for the fans, after all without them the sport would hardly be as successful or meaningful as it was, and without their cheers and screams of encouragement and support and seeing her jersey number and name littered through the stands the game would not be half as enjoyable.

but she was tired, no, alexia was exhausted.

it seemed lately everyone had needed something from her. take, take, take, never giving, alexia always the giver. and she was now running on empty, drained to the max and burnt out but still expected to push forward and be strong, continue to give, give and give.

she was la reina after all, captain for club and country, fearless leader, ballon d'or winner. when all she really wanted was to be left alone, given time to recharge and rest and refuel. and she knew that the only place she could ever settle and feel safe enough to let down her walls to do this was with you.

you who would right now be upstairs in her apartment, more than likely in her clothes, waiting to cook her dinner, waiting on alexia to return where the catalan superstar knew you would have your arms open and awaiting for her to melt into, always knowing exactly what she needed even sometimes before alexia herself had figured it out.

as much as she was your most fierce protector, happily sending an filthy stare toward anyone who dared look at you funny, hand sitting firmly on the small of your back anytime you were walking in crowds, large hands covering your face to block out the flashes of paparazzi as they crashed yet another date night.

right now she wanted nothing more than to drown herself in your love and adoration, to just sink into you and feel your arms wrap around her, to let down her walls and open herself up entirely to you as you held her.

no matter if you played together at barcelona to you she was just alexia, ale, nothing more and nothing less. gone would be the pressures of her formal titles, and that was exactly what alexia needed right now.

not to be seen as la reina, or captain, not a spokeswoman or a champion or leader. not a well to be used and run dry, just a superstar athlete who everyone could take from as if she had everything to give and nothing to gain, but just for tonight alexia needed to be just yours, same as she needed the constant assurance that you were hers.

she has just finished up a meeting with her lawyer, running the statement from the girls through to him before they went public with it. she had tried to hint if mapi or someone else would attend the meeting instead but she was already nominated, pushed that as la reina and the captain it would mean the most if she brought the statement forward.

she didn't have the heart to say no, saying no was not something that had ever come easy to alexia.

she would never ever let herself be walked over, however when it came to feeling like she was letting anyone she cared for down, especially her friends and team mates, there wasn't a word harder to say than just those simple two letters.

the same could be said for right now as alexia opened her door and slowly arose out of her seat, locking the car after her and shuffling her way across the road. plastering a tired smile on her face she couldn't say no to the excited group of teenagers awaiting her to join them.

taking photo after photo, signing jerseys and posters and boots, give, give, give.

eventually once she had made her rounds ensuring everyone gained something from her did she step away, leaving them to their excited chatter and beaming smiles as she slipped inside her complex, shoulders sagging as the gate clicked behind her and she knew she was out of sight.

she wanted to sprint to you but her feet could only drag slowly into her building and toward the elevator, heavy and holding her back as if she was locked up in chains, exhaustion wrapping its hand around her throat squeezing tighter and tighter with each painful step.

things only grew worse as she stepped into the elevator, hurriedly followed by a couple of her neighbors who of course wanted to make small talk. again it was take, take and take.

alexia detested small talk with a repulsed passion, it burned her at every cell, each word like a small needle prick to her skin.

it was unnecessary, insincere and a waste of time. especially when silence could be so comforting, so rewarding, alexia craved the peace and quiet brought with it.

but again unable to say no she chatted about the weather they were having, flashing a polite small and forcing a fake laugh at a poorly timed joke about the mans porcelain skin and his crushing inability to tan.

finally, painstakingly slow, alexia reached her floor. again flashing a polite smile and stepping out of the elevator, now hurrying to her door, fumbling around with the keys in her pocket.

alexia huffed as she turned her key in the lock and the door jammed, the blonde ramming it with her shoulder a few times before it popped open with a click and she made a mental note to flag it with the building manager tomorrow.

she was quickly greeted by a small ball of fluff hauling herself at her legs and with a tired smile alexia bent down to scoop her up, cooing affectionately and pressing a kiss to the back of nala's head, placing her back down on the floor.

the midfielders body deflated a little with each step as she searched the apartment for you, small signs scattering each room that you were here.

your shoes by the door neatly stacked next to hers, a half drank mug of coffee sitting stone cold on the counter, washed up plate and fork by the sink, your favorite hoodie draped over the back of the sofa and the tv left on.

but alas alexia struggled to actually find you, each fleeting second without success slowly dragging her deeper and deeper into the gaping chasm of exhaustion she was teetering on the edge of falling into, her whole body screaming out for a reprise, for you.

stepping into the bedroom alexia released a shaky breath she hadn't even realised she'd been holding in, hearing the shower running in her ensuite and your playlist slowly filtering out from behind the closed door.

with a pained and tired sigh the blondes legs gave out and she flopped backwards into her bed, fists gripping the soft white linen her eyes started to droop. feeling nala jump up beside her and curl into her side alexia lifted one hand, fingers stroking through the soft tanned fur.

a few moments later she heard the bathroom door click open and she was wide awake, jolting upright as her hazel orbs met yours. "hola amor." you greeted her with an alluringly soft smile, towel drying your damp hair as alexia's own lips curled upward at the way your accent creeped through in your spanish.

it had improved significantly since you'd signed with and moved to barcelona two years ago from england. when alexia first met you you'd struggled to even say hello.

now with a lot of help and lessons you understood most things almost perfectly but still struggled with your own diction, your girlfriend often speaking to you in her native tongue as you'd reply in english, especially when you were tired.

but that didn't matter.

even if the two of you could never understand one another again with words you didn't need them to communicate with one another. forcing alexia to do a love languages quiz with you one night after training your top result was quality time and alexia's was physical touch, meaning you seldom needed words to express your love and care for one another.

which is exactly why alexia didn't need to say a single word for you to instantly sense something wasn't quite right with the midfielder.

the moment you stepped within arms reach the older girl had grabbed you with an air of desperation, toned arms wrapping tightly around your torso with an iron clap grip, tugging you to stand in between her legs as she pulled you impossibly close.

her head came to rest on your stomach as she sat on the bed while you stood. "ale." you called softly, running a hand fondly through her freshly dyed blonde hair, feeling her body sag into yours with a tired hum.

"what's the matter baby?" you asked quietly, nails scratching at her scalp, feeling her sigh into your stomach and simply shake her head. so respecting that she clearly needed this you stayed stood there, her grip on you never loosening as you played with her hair.

"hey, ale." you nudged her gently after awhile, the girls chin resting on your chest as her hazel eyes looked up at you, and your heart panged to recognize just how utterly shattered she looked.

"come." you grabbed her hands, slowly wrenching them from where they remained locked around your waist, intertwining your fingers and tugging at her, nodding your head toward the door.

"bebé, estoy cansada." (baby, i'm tired) the taller girl frowned, a slight pout tugging at her lips making you melt to see her normally sharp and stone faced features soften.

"i know, come." you repeated, pulling at her again as she pushed herself to her feet with a small sigh, allowing you to guide her out of the bedroom and toward the living room. "sit." you ordered, pushing her down onto the sofa and once again gently wrenching her hands off you as she attempted to pull you down with her.

"hey i missed you." the older girl frowned, lips now curling downward into a proper pout making you melt, seeing the normally so confident and strong girl be so vulnerable and soft with you.

"volveré bien." (i'll be back right) you promised sincerely, eyebrows furrowing slightly at the chuckle the words rewarded you from your girlfriend. "ya vuelvo bien." (i'll be right back) alexia corrected with a smile making you roll your eyes. "you know what i meant." you pushed her shoulder lightly and dipped your head, pecking her lips sweetly and darting away before she could grab at you again.

leaving her for a moment you busied yourself grabbing out what you needed, hearing your girlfriend flick through channels trying to find something to watch. though it seemed her patience had ran thin today as only moments later you felt her press herself against you.

"bebita, apresúrate." (baby girl, hurry) the midfielder mumbled grumpily, her chin coming to rest on your shoulder as her arms wrapped tightly round your stomach and she lazily kissed at your jaw. her large hands slipped up her jersey which hung down just above your knees, stroking lovingly at the bare skin of your toned stomach making your breath hitch slightly, which didn't go unnoticed.

"ale, stop." you whispered softly, feeling her press your body against the counter as her hands slipped higher to fondle at your chest.

"but i promised you before i left this morning." the taller girl rasped quietly in her thick accent, quirking an eyebrow as you turned in her hold and again shook your head, grabbing and removing her hands from beneath your top.

your girlfriend was referring to when the two of you needed to stop certain activities as she was reminded by her alarm to leave for a meeting this morning, of course before she was able to finish having her way with you after you'd already helped her out.

"you don't owe me anything you're exhausted. let me take care of you for once, please?" you spoke softly and with so much obvious concern for her that the blonde captains knees almost buckled at the wave of love for you which washed over her.

"amor de mi vida." (love of my life) alexia whispered, lips attaching to your forehead as she hugged you tightly, allowing her gratitude to flow from her body to yours, the two of you just standing there for a moment soaking it in.

"five more minutes and i'm done." you promised softly and tried to peel her off of you to no avail, the taller girl clinging on tightly with further inpatient grumbles, tucking her nose into your neck, warm breathe tickling your skin.

with a shake of your head you continued with what you were doing, only with the blonde tanned catalan now sticking to you like glue. a few minutes later and you were done, having grabbed out all of the girls favourite snacks, arranging them in intricate patterns on a plate.

"hey." you nudged at alexia, her face pressed into the back of your shoulder blade, her head lifting and face softening seeing the simple but sweet gesture.

"thank you mi amor.” alexia rasped out gently, kissing your cheek a few times before unwrapping herself, grabbing the plate in one hand and you in the other as the two of you made your way back to the sofa.

"no." you shook your head as she tried to sit down first, pushing her aside gently and assuming her normal position, patting the space in between your legs.

placing the plate of food on the coffee table alexia wasted no time laying her body down in the empty gap you'd left her, legs intertwined with yours and her back pressed up against your front, your hands winding round her to hold onto her tightly as her own settled on your bare thighs with a loving squeeze

"i love you." you promised softly, the older girl echoing the words back sincerely as she craned her head back, puckering her lips expectantly as you softly kissed her.

no more words needing to be said the two of you just laid there holding one another, a spanish soap opera which was your girlfriends guilty pleasure playing quietly on the tv as late afternoon briskly turned into early evening.

a few episodes later and the blonde shifted, rolling her body around so she was laid on her front, shuffling down a little so her head rested on your stomach and her arms snuck up the sides of your top, craving nothing more than the feeling of her skin to be pressed against yours in any capacity she could seek.

your hands moved to tangle in her mane of blonde hair, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, feeling her exhale deeply as her body sank even further into yours.

alexia's arms wound tighter around your smaller form, hands pressing into the small of your back, tracing circles against the warm skin as your legs remained entangled with one another.

no words exchanged between the two of you the comfort purely physical, you watched on with a loving and tender gaze as the girl gave up her fight against sleep, eyes eventually slamming closed, finally able to rest and recharge as she so desperately needed.

[r0-boat]

ZZZ Various(Male/Female) Headcannons

How they give physical affection+cuddling

Back at it again I wanted to do one for Wise but you know I might as well do both of them

With: Belle, Wise, Von Lycaon, Zhu Yuan, Anton, Seth, and Ceaser

Wise

At first glance you would think Wise wouldn't be much of a cuddler And you would be half right. However as soon as he drifts off out of consciousness He will somehow always find His arms wrapped around you like a teddy bear. Prefers to be the big spoon, He admits when he has his arm around you It feels like he's keeping you safe. When You are in his arms He feels like you won't run away and cause trouble.

Other than that, Wise usually wouldn't be the one to ask to hold you, but he would gladly do it if you cuddled up to him. His favorite seems to be you laying on his chest while He crosses your back, rubbing his palm up and down, occasionally burying his face into your hair.

First having you in his lap anyway to wrap his arms around you, wrapping his arms around you well his hands are free to do work or do whatever he needs to do. He's gotten pretty good at multitasking giving you attention and working from all your pestering/affectionate.

Belle

She needs her daily hug and kiss. That's how she recharges her energy.

She'll get so pouty if you don't let her sit on your lap while she plays games. Honestly she'll just randomly sit on your lap no matter what. She'll just walk by and plop right onto your leg or when she sees you she'll give you a shit eating grin patting your leg expecting you to sit down in hers.

She'll have all this space on a bed but won't even use it because she'll be sandwiched against you. No matter how much or little space she has, she will be slotted against you somehow. Don't ever ever talk to her about how clingy she is because then she'll be sad and be ignoring you for the rest of the night clutching a pillow.

Von Lycaon

Honestly, he is not a cuddler and probably wouldn't know how to show affection physically. Since how he shows his affection is acts of service. It would take him a bit, but he's a quick learner and determined to show you how much he loves you physically.

You'll be a rewarded however, contrary to how his hard muscles look He's actually quite soft and fluffy like your favorite blanket and he's warm too. Clinging to him you'll fall asleep in minutes.

Lycaon thinks you cuddling up to him is the cutest thing he's ever seen He should have started cuddling you ages ago. Who knew he was missing out on such cuteness. He thinks of you like a little kitten snuggling against him small and curled up; arms wrapped around his arm nuzzling into his fur. He has a picture on his phone of one of the times you fell asleep on him and it is now his lock screen.

Zhu Yuan

Very nervous when it comes to physical affection, So she just lets you lay on her which she doesn't mind since she likes gently touching your face, massaging your shoulders gently or twirling your hair with her finger. She makes a great pillow (hehe)

In fact she loves it so much that she gets a little jealous, when you're cuddling up to other things, her face red and her eyebrows furrowed her lips flat as she imagines, removing whatever it is that's receiving your attention and slide right in it's place. But you look so cute she could never act out on these thoughts.

Every time the two of you cuddle or hold hands or any physical affection She can't help but kiss you in some way. On the lips or cheek but her favorite place to do it as own your forehead or head (especially if you're shorter than her)

Anton

Sorry I just simply don't believe that Anton isn't a huge cuddly teddy bear. Real Bros cuddle and give affection to their homies. Unlike Zhu Yuan Who overthinks about the 'right way' therefore claims she doesn't know how to cuddle, Your feelings come from the heart, You don't have to understand how to do it Your body just knows what it wants. That's his explanation anyway.

Anton is a pretty touchy guy putting his arm around you scooting you closer to him holding you close, putting you in his lap, pressing his body against you. Anton wants to be as close to you as possible to the point of touching.

Even in his sleep he will always gravitate toward you wrapping you in a tight bear hug his muscles threatening to squeeze the life and love out of you. Good luck, getting up to go to the bathroom or grabbing a drink of water when this huge cuddling monster of muscle is holding you hostage.

Seth

Follows you around like a lost puppy until he gets attention. He feels nervous about asking you for a kiss a hug maybe even some cuddles. Eventually he'll give in his knee to have you in his arm to strong. Seth would wrap his arms around you and mutter if you're okay with him holding you.

He acts like he doesn't like when you touch his ears and tail and stroke his cheek. The moment you stop, he pouts like a baby. He totally doesn't like when you call him cute either so stop it!

The moment is head hits your body he is out like a light. You're so warm and comfortable and when you stroke his back or his head it feels so good. He's gotten so used to it but sometimes he'll need to hear your voice when he needs to go to sleep so he'll call you every night he'll tell you good night and that he loves you before going to bed. If you're cuddling with him he will lay his entire body against you nuzzling his nose into your shoulder taking in your sense before drifting off.

Ceaser

She's usually pretty casual with physical affection if it's platonic but if it's a partner it's different. Her heart starts racing and her palms get sweaty and she starts to shake. All the scenes from her favorite romance movies and books start to fill her head.

She knows she should just be herself and be brave and just go up hold your hand hug you maybe perhaps kiss you? But honestly it's easier said than done.

The way you make Caesar blush and act like an idiot, Its not fair! But it's not like she doesn't like it. The fluttery feeling in her stomach adrenaline pumping into her veins causing her to finally act as she slowly dips her hand to intertwine her fingers. It'll take her a while to get used to physical affection but it's not like she doesn't want it.

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗶'𝗺 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻 as an exchange student who's not a party animal

𝟭. study day by day ( 🪴 )

i am a big procrastinator and when it comes to exams, too often i have left it to the last minute and pulled all-nighters to get high grades, but due to the spanish school system, which includes many more partial exams and midterms than italy (actually there aren't any in italy at all) i will be "forced" to change this tendency of mine, the goal is to study the lessons on the very same day so as to have a greater margin for revision that will allow me to secure my knowledge.

𝟮. allow time to rest/recharge ( 🔌 )

i once read a sentence: "if you have two minutes to do something, it will take you two minutes, but if you have two hours, it will take you the whole two hours". concentrating for a few hours a day, but in an effective and meaningful way is perhaps my biggest dream, this year i will do my best to limit the hours of study and dedicate time to rest and tourist activities that my year in spain will reserve for me (parties and hangouts included).

𝟯. learning a new language ( ⭐ )

i don't speak spanish at all, but i understand it very well. studying and living here for a whole year will definitely help me develop my linguistic/grammatical knowledge to start a deeper study of the language. the more languages ​​you know, the better.

𝟰. get out of my comfort zone ( 🦋 )

as an introvert, i often find myself, especially during stressful times, retreating to my room, wrapped in the comfort of my favorite books and series. the real challenge will be to abandon the safe place for the unknown and finally embrace the idea that the unknown is beautiful, that it has breathtaking sunrises and sunsets, and that any scars that might come from it are as precious as diamonds.

𝟱. being proud of myself ( 🍋 )

realizing that i'm doing well, that the me from a year ago who was afraid of failing the university entrance exam has not only now completed her first year of architecture with excellent results, but now lives alone in a foreign country. a year ago i would never have believed it, so i should be proud of it, and not fear that i'm not enough. there is a lot to improve, but celebrating victories is equally important as aiming for the top.

[tiamathh]

What Sin do you Need?

Note: Hi!! Repost of an Old PAC hope you enjoy, like/reblog and comment if you do~ take what resonates leave what doesn't and please don't steal my work! Also follow my 18+ readings acc @xoxotiamathh (no minors pls!)

Masterlist <3

Pile 1: Greed

Strive for more, thirst for more, it may seem like greed is bad but a little bit never hurt anyone. You're limiting yourself a lot of the times because you refuse to let yourself want more. What's holding you back? Is it your past? Moving on from the past is important and will help you achieve the great heights you're meant to.

Be greedy for a better life, stand up for yourself and the life you want because if you don't start now than when will you? Greed isn't all about money and material objects, sometimes it's about oneself and what they want, what their ideal life is both socially and emotionally.

Pile 2: Gluttony

This might be a sensitive topic for some and I completely understand that so feel free to pick another pile and take care <3 TW// weight mention, ED, body shaming, starving, anorexia

Pile 2 I'll start off with this, I'm so so sorry if you've been through instances in your life where people have been rather unkind to you regarding your weight and looks, but please know they're all wrong. You don't need to starve yourself; you're doing so well just as you are. Instagram diets and diet suppressants are not what you or your body needs. You need proper nutrition, and healthy meals give you just that. I'm not telling you to be over indulgent of course not but keeping yourself from nutrition is doing more harm than good. For some of you, you've had run-ins with eating disorders, do what's good for your body, mind and soul, delicious food from different cultures will bring a lot of flavour, expand your palette. (Also, for some of you, stop being such picky eaters! Try new things!)

Take care pile 2 and stay safe <3

Pile 3: Sloth

GET REST PLEASE (sorry for screaming). Constantly working and burning the midnight oil and sleep, rest, take a pause. Inactivity isn't always laziness or negative sometimes you need to give yourself space to breathe and sit with your thoughts and feelings.

You're human after all, you need rest and relaxation to recharge. Or maybe you're running from something and distracting yourself by constantly working. You don't need to always work to prove your worth. Don't overwork yourself.

Pile 4: Wrath

Anger can be therapeutic, feel it. Anger can help you set boundaries, and establish your self-worth. A lot of people have probably hurt you before and taken advantage of your kindness, or calm demeanour but don't let them do that. Fearing conflict will not resolve anything, getting angry isn't bad especially when you have been wronged several times by the same people. We've always seen anger be a force for change, so use it in a way where you can change things about your life that you don't like and don't approve of.

Don't let people walk all over you, don't take the route of toxic positivity, your negative feelings are there to help you grow and are just as important for your overall development.

Pile 5: Envy

Have you guys heard of benign envy? I have, an exhausting amount to be honest and what I've learnt is it genuinely helps push you forward in life. It can often be bitter but it can lead you to work harder or be more determined towards achieving your goals. It can positively influence our attitudes towards life and help bring in good changes to your routine that will help you grow. And although it's said envy is rooted in low self- esteem, all that's needed is an abundance mindset to make it work in your favour. If you feel that pang of envy now and then that's not bad, use it as a driving force for to grow more in your own individualistic way because you may have been afraid to in the past. If you envy someone's style (this is coming through strongly) or their way of life, try to manifest and work hard towards making that your reality rather than wallowing in envy and self-pity.

Pile 6: Lust

Here I feel that lust is being talked about in terms of the self, not solely in a sexual manner but also in terms of desire. Pile 6, you need to understand that you are desirable and hot and stunning. If you feel sexual fantasies there's nothing wrong with that, it is a part of your human experience embrace it. There's nothing wrong or dirty about it, it helps you explore yourself more imo. You are sexy don't overindulge and sexualise yourself for others, external validation will not bring you the satisfaction you want, it needs to come from within.

Pile 7: Pride

Guys, pile 7, my loves, pride is not bad. Especially when it comes to the work you do, I feel like this is my artistic pile. Authentic pride is important to the integrity of your work, getting happy, feeling proud, getting satisfaction from an art piece or a written piece after putting in hours, days, weeks of effort should not make you feel guilty. Don't let people tell you that your head is too big or anything like that, it's not. Your pride will help you maintain your standards in everyday life, don't lower your standards for anything or anyone, you're too good for that. I would go as far as to say pride is one of the most important feelings/emotions but be careful to not let it turn into an inflated ego.

All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!

P.S. this is one of my favourite PACs I've ever done 🩷

[genderfluid-insomniac]

Can you do Harbinger Headcannons for a reader who has a hard time with being social and recharges by being held? For example: they get overwhelmed after being out and about all day but have a very hard time asking to be held because they don't have the energy to communicate it. (Oddly specific but it's what I deal with)

A/N: I chose these by generating random numbers 1 through 11 and then choosing said harbinger by their rank. It’s purely by luck and I’m happy that Scaramouche and Arlecchino randomly got picked.

Also I had a very hard time finding anything about Pulcinella’s personality or what he’s like since we only saw him in the winter's interlude so if you’re reading this from the future and I’m wrong then I’m sorry. I tried my best.

Harbinger headcanons for a reader who has a hard time with being social and recharges by being held

Scaramouche

- Isn’t thrilled with physical affection but he does understand having your social battery being drained so you both compromised so no one would be uncomfortable and you got to lay your head on his lap while he ran his hands through your hair until you were ready to interact with others. Sometimes he also used your want to escape and get away from social gatherings because he doesn’t like them on a good day.

- Eventually he does come around and grow more relaxed about the whole thing, going as far as to hold you in more ways that you’re both comfortable in and have tea brought for the both of you. You will have to specify if you want a sweeter tea because he’s having his bitter as usual.

Sandrone

- Sandrone completely understands and often has her mechanical puppet use it’s hands to shield her from others so she’s “alone” in a sense. She is debating on making a hollow chamber in it’s chest so a person can rest in there comfortably and safely. You’re treated no different and if you aren’t sitting with her or on some part of the puppet (which almost never happens unless she’s in a harbinger meeting or called to see the Tsaritsa).

- You’ll never hear complaints or declines from her and you quickly taken somewhere else to recharge in her arms like how her mechanical puppet shields her with her arms or simply moving to another room. She’ll take you in her arms and let you rest against her chest, running a hand through your hair and cuddling with you in the hollow warm chamber if you ask.

Childe

- If it were any other person then he’d say pushing your limits is how you should live however this is someone he deeply cares about and knows that when you speak up about needing to be alone and recharge you mean it. You’re always a priority to him and fighting is a second but if he has harbinger work then he’ll do his best to cuddle with you till you’re alright. Childe will bring you along if he has easy missions that he thinks won’t injure you and make sure that you can be comfy but also safe while he balances you and his work.

- He is the best at cuddling and sis very attentive however once he’s has you in his arms you’re staying there for at least an hour or too. So I hope you don’t have anything important soon because even when your social battery is charged he’s going to be very happy with snuggling with his lover and being able to not think about work for once.

Arlecchino

- At first you’re scared to ask her at all since she’s very intimidating but since she’s very observant and perceptive it’s only a matter of time before she’ll talk to you about it. Arlecchino is very loving and soft when it involves you and she’d do anything for you. Pretty much anything that doesn’t break her rules. When you tug on her sleeve and discreetly glance at her with a tired shy expression the knave will excuse herself from the public conversation she’s having. You’ll be lead to an empty room hand in hand and placed on her lap as she runs her fingers through your hair or drawing circles on the top of your hand while you recharge.

- You both made a sign for when you feel like this and she respects it without any question and when she put the pieces together she cupped your face with no judgement at all in her expression. Kissing you softly and resting her forehead on yours. “Try to not be scared of telling me your worries or wishes because I love you no matter what, darling. Now do you want a signal to let me know or would you rather be held now and think about it later?”

Pulcinella

- You don’t need to ask him because he’s going to insist that you never need to ask for permission about anything that’s bothering you or making you uncomfortable and simply guiding you to a small empty room so you can recharge with him. He can also almost know when you’re running low on your social battery if he’s with you and ask you, normally he’s right 99% of the time. If he needs to do harbinger work then he will work on some of it but you’ll be sitting next to him in a hug or leaning your head on his shoulder.

- He’s rarely called for on missions and so you don’t interact much with anyone but him but when you do it’s usually for galas and formal events that makes it hard to sneak away to get away from socializing. He makes it work though, easily slipping out of the conversation he’s in and making an excuse of an agent calling for an urgent message while guiding you to a small isolated part of the room where almost no one can see the both of you. You cozy up to him and he’ll talk you quietly about meaningly topic if you want to be distracted or remain silent if you want it to be quiet.

[haikyu-mp4]

The art of flirting

word count; 1583 – f!reader

Everyone else on Kamomedai’s volleyball team would probably say that their second-year manager’s relationship with Hoshiumi Korai was very flirty. However, you and Korai saw it more as a rivalry. You would always be bickering back and forth, throwing insults and annoying comments at each other like it was breathing. Being a manager was truly rewarding, but you and the one-man army simply couldn’t get along.

When Korai stepped out of the locker room, very ready to get on the bus back so he could rest, he saw you. His eyes always found you, even if the room was filled with other people. You were there to make sure all the boys came safely out of the locker room and went in the direction of the bus instead of wandering off.

Korai automatically scoffs and adjusts his bag up on his shoulder. “What a difficult job you have,” he said sarcastically, raising a brow as he walked over to look at the notepad you were writing on. You jumped slightly at his sudden presence and looked up, but Korai was surprised when you first met his eyes and then looked up at his hair. And to top it off, you blushed. It looked sweet on your soft skin, making the boy a bit dazed even though he was frowning.

You were flustered because he wore his hair down after a shower.

“It would’ve been easy if I didn’t have to look at your ugly face all the time,” you said, but it sounded much less annoyed than usual. The warm colour on your face made you much less convincing.

“Good one, tomato face,” he said back and rolled his eyes, stepping past you towards the doors. You looked at him over your shoulder, mentally beating yourself up at how ridiculous that was while also getting another good look at him because when did Hoshiumi get so handsome?

The short boy sat down in the bus seat beside Hirugami with a heavy sigh. His friend raised an eyebrow. “I assume you met y/n on your way out?” he asked rhetorically, amused with how he crossed his arms stubbornly.

“She’s so freaking annoying, looked at my undone hair and suddenly acted all bothered,” he grumbled, making faces at the seat in front of him from thinking about it.

Hirugami almost got annoyed with how oblivious his friend could be. Obviously, you two found each other attractive and refused to admit it. After all this time, you finally revealed a crack in your resolve, yet all Korai saw was a challenge. “Probably thought you looked hot,” he said casually, looking out the window where you followed the last players out the door, laughing at something one of them said.

Korai was looking as well, but his eyes widened at Hirugami’s theory. Now his cheeks were even redder than yours were earlier as he grumbled something under his breath and turned away, staring at the floor instead. “What do you know anyways...”

However, there was no denying – despite your continuous attempts – how the atmosphere changed around you two after that. Perhaps even you two could admit it was flirty now, as you laughed at his missed serve during practice and he came over to playfully punch your upper arm and mess up your hair before going back to the practice game. There was always a light air of laughter around you now that wasn’t there before, a discreet way to tell the other please, don’t stop giving me your attention!

Who could blame him for never doing his hair after showering anymore to watch your red cheeks and smile at you before going home for the day? All so he could be recharged for another day of foolery knowing he still had your attention.

And who could blame you for targeting his height with your teasing just so he would come closer to you and make you repeat it to his face? All so you could bat your eyelashes and then push him away while the others gaped at how much differently he reacted when you did it.

Hirugami wasn’t sure which one was more frustrating, before or now. Because both of you were still too stubborn to admit your feelings first. Will he intervene? No! Maybe... Most definitely.

He started with his best friend. Korai was telling him about some observations from their last match at lunch when Hirugami very obviously diverted his attention elsewhere. Korai followed his gaze and found you, smiling and laughing with your friends like you always do. With a small tsk, he turned back around quickly. “Am I boring you?” he asked with the usual attitude.

“Think that guy likes her?” Korai had to ignore how frustrating it was to have a question answered with a question in favour of turning back to where you were. Hirugami smiled at the shift in Korai’s expression.

Korai never took the time to look at your friends, not when he could be looking at you. So he hadn’t really noticed how some of your friends were guys and one of them was leaning particularly close at the moment. It shouldn’t annoy him, because he totally doesn’t like you like that, but it did. “I don’t care.” he insisted, but it wasn’t very convincing when he didn’t stop staring.

Hirugami let out a fake dramatic sigh, spooning another portion of rice into his mouth. “Doesn’t matter, I heard that she likes someone in the volleyball club anyways,” he said as if it was just a throwaway line. Of course, it wasn’t just that to Korai, whose neck looked like it could have snapped from how quickly he turned back to his friend. He was squinting, as if trying to spot any hints of a lie on his face.

“Whatever.” Hirugami’s job was done here, now he just had to talk to you. Unless Korai got to you first, that is. His friend wasn’t exactly known as a patient guy.

The middle blocker passed by you in the hallway on the way to the volleyball club, and he thought fate might be with him. “Y/n, wait up!” he said and fell into step with you while you smiled at him. “Korai was looking for you earlier.”

“He was?” you asked, making Hirugami smile even more.

“Think he wanted to ask you something,” he added casually, and he could swear you walked with a spring in your step now.

You stood beside Korai while they had a break, giving him his water bottle last and wondering what he had wanted to ask you earlier. “So what’s up?” you asked, making him look at you with a raised eyebrow. That was unusually civil of you.

“Nothing, weirdo,” he answered. Maybe Hirugami shouldn’t have intervened…

“Oh, okay,” you said, suddenly looking oddly dejected. Part of you was embarrassed at the hope you had felt when you heard he wanted to talk to you. You’re supposed to deny any feelings, but it was getting more and more difficult every day. Korai was facing the court but didn’t stop looking at you in the corner of his eyes.

Silence fell over you as you tried to think of something else to do, but the other managers were already hard at work. “You look good with your hair like that,” Korai said, making you look at him quite stunned, but he was already jogging back out on the court as the coach blew the whistle.

It made you dizzy. You were thinking constantly about how confusing Korai was today. Did you do something wrong? Did you do something right?

Once again, Korai didn’t style his hair after practice, looking for your attention on his way out of the locker room. He walked over to you while you were gathering your stuff to leave. “Who is it?”

You stop your movement of trying to fit the stupid shoes in your bag, slowly turning your head to look at the boy you wished wasn’t so handsome. “Who’s the dumbest person in this room? I’m looking right at him.” you quipped. It wasn’t a very good insult, but it was all you could manage in your state of attraction mixed with confusion.

“Ha ha. No, who do you like on the team?” he said, or more like insisted. You straightened up and a blush covered your cheeks the way he liked, but he was looking at you with such a deep frown that you felt nervous.

“I like all of you. Even though you’re a bit of a turd sometimes,” you answered childishly.

“You should like me more.” It was a confusing statement, and now you were both just staring at each other as if trying to decipher what the other one was thinking.

“Why?” you finally asked, nose scrunching as you gained some attitude back.

“Because I like you more. It’s only fair,” he said like it wasn’t a confession. It was.

“Fine, then I like you more,” you said stubbornly. If Hirugami saw your matching frowns right now, he would probably laugh.

“Good.”

“Great.” And then Korai couldn’t take it anymore. Curse you and your sweet red cheeks. He put his hands on the sides of your face, thumbs rubbing over the soft skin, and the second he saw how your expression softened, he pulled you in for a kiss.

Fortunately, Hirugami didn’t miss this part. He chuckled under his breath and shook his head before leaving the gym. “Finally.”

masterlist

[just-a-ghost00]

What blessing is coming your way?

Group 1

5 of pentacles, 10 of swords, Black Numen, Hanged man back of the deck

A period of isolation is coming for you. You may lose relationships, resources or situations that mattered to you and feel really sad about it. You may consider this as a betrayal or as life abandoning you. But the reality is that these changes and endings are important for you to shift your perspective and slow your roll. There were things you were not seeing or overlooking and in order for you to get back to light and clarity, the Universe is momentarily putting you in the dark. This is a blessing in disguise. And I know, how scary and depressing that sounds. Believe me I've been there. This will be a cleasing time for you. Things and people that were no longer serving you or were detrimental to your well being and progress will leave your life without you even having to lift a finger. Once you are able to understand why this is happening in your life and see past the darkness and confusion that surrounds this phase, you will then progress significantly and quickly go back to a better state of mind, a better way of living. This is likely to take a lot of time and patience. And I know how hard it may sound but I want you to know you are more than capable of overcoming this challenge. I send my best wishes and positive vibes to you with the hope that it will protect you and carry you through this trying time of your life. Remember that you are not alone and that your emotions and opinions matter. If you are having a hard time, feel free to contact any professional if you feel the need to. I am also ready to read your messages if you don't know who to turn to. I can't promise you that I will solve all your problems but I can tell you that I will do my best in providing a safe place for you to release your sadness and worries.

Group 2

The Fool, 3 of swords, 4 of wands, back of the deck ace of wands

After a heartbreak or a separation of some kind, whether this is relating to family, romance or business, you will be starting anew as a new partnership is coming your way. You may have a hard time trusting this at first, as memories of the past are still fresh in your heart. But you will take the opportunity nontheless and choose to move forward with a new positive mindset. This partnership may inspire you to get out of your comfort zone and overcome certain fears. It might be a bit challenging but your optimism and ambition will be your best tools in this situation. As the 4 of wands often represents the home and committed relationships, this may speak about the renewal of vows or of a contract. You are given a second chance to prove your worth and work on a clean slate. You will be supported in this journey by a feminine figure. Spirit animals may also be present to protect you and provide you with guidance. Especially the wolf spirit. You may have to travel or make a significant change in what you bring to the table. This may particularly concern your creativity and your ideas. You may feel inspiredto use your passions and creative skills as a fuel to progress further on your path. You are encouraged to keep an open mind and find support and inspiration by your loved ones and/or cowerkers. Though this may be intimidating, you will be more and more satisfied with this blessing the Universe is sending your way. When it comes to romantic relationships, you may feel a renewal of your desire and attraction for your partner.

Group 3

4 of swords, 3 of cups, Hanged man, back of the deck 4 of wands

The blessing coming your way is healing. Especially through friendships and siblings. You will be granted a period of rest to be able to focus on your needs, spend quality time with your loved ones and recharge your batteries. You could be spending a lot of time at home. If you're in a romantic relationship, your connection may be going through a very calm phase. You are feeling comfortable in the presence of your partner and the pace has slowed down. Some of you may get engaged during this period of time. You may be celebrating the healing of a disease. Your focus will be on your home and your center, as well as the relationships that matter the most to you. Your loved ones will be fully supporting you during this period of your life. If you are feeling a bit confused or uncertain, they will help you gain perspective on what is troubling you. Your blessing is the slowing of time to enable you to build solid foundations and restore your balance. I asked for further information as I wasn't getting much from your cards. You got the Queen of wands. You will be glowing up and also empowered during this period of your life. Though it may feel like not much is happening, a lot of changes are slowly but surely taking place for you.

[dira333]

Choose yourself too - Itoshi Rin x Reader

Note: Soulmarks only appear after you pick/choose each other

requested by @shoulmate

"Do you have a soulmark?"

"I will not answer that."

Someone in the back of the room, someone groans.

His PR Manager rolls his eyes so hard they might get stuck that way but Rin hasn't made it this far in his career by being a people pleaser.

"With all due respect," the impertinent interviewer starts again, "Your relationship status has been vague at best for the last years. Your fans are longing for information and we feel that they deserve-"

"They deserve it?" Rin's looking at her now, hopes his eyes portray every single drop of hatred he feels for this woman. "Do you have a soulmark?"

"That's- That's private!" She rushes to defend herself.

"Ah, so you do understand that term? I will not answer that question and that's that. I'm here to play soccer not to answer questions about whether or not I'm still available. Which I'm not."

"I'm still single," Bachira pipes in from his left, directing all attention back to him. The tension in the room dissipates within moments of him chattering away.

-x-

"Long day?" You ask when he steps inside your shared apartment.

"You have no idea," Rin answers, letting his temple sink against your shoulder for a moment. He can feel himself recharge from touch alone.

"Watched your interview," you mumble, your breath moving the hairs in the nape of his neck. He shivers and your hand finds the spot, circling warm and safe over his exposed skin. You always know what he needs. He wishes he could say the same about himself.

From down the hallway, a gurgling sound alerts his attention.

"Go," you tell him, stepping aside to let him through, "Dinner's ready in ten."

-

"Hey little monster," he greets as he pushes the door fully open. His daughter's lying on her back, turquoise eyes locked on the mobile above her head, the little soccer balls dancing in the air. She waves her hands when he lifts her out of her bed and drools on his shirt with a confidence Isagi could only wish for.

"How are we feeling today?" Rin asks the little monster, chuckling when she almost hits him in the nose, "That great? Amazing. Mom's made dinner, you're hungry?"

She farts and he's quietly laughing now at her antics.

"What did I do to deserve you?" He asks her quietly when she's managed to grasp his thumb, sucking on it as if she's hoping for milk.

I tickles a little where he can feel her first teeth coming out. It tingles when she gnaws on the tiny soulmark. He has only one. Yet.

-x-

His head is resting heavy in your lap, his daughter sleeping soundly on his chest.

It could be a perfect evening if not for his restless mind.

Rin lifts his left hand, looks at the tiny mark on his thumb. It's a monster, the same oddly shaped lump he would draw as a child. He knows it resembles his daughter because he knows he chose her. Ever since the day he knew she existed.

"Do you want me to check again?" You ask. Your voice is soft and he can hear your book close, can feel your hand find its way into his hair. "Maybe I missed it last time..."

"I'm sure you didn't." He says even though it hurts him. Because he chose you, years ago and every day since, has even the ring to prove it, yet there's no sign of the mark he longs for the most.

But you have one, oddly placed on your chest, just a little left of your heart, the color of his eyes.

"Rin," you whisper, leaning down to press a kiss against his temple, "I know you love me. I don't need a spot on your skin to prove it to me. Although I think it would only be fair if it appeared on your ass or something similarly pathetic."

He can feel his lips quirk up into a smile. That's the effect only you can have on him. And your daughter, but that's just genetics at play.

"Maybe," you hum, "You need to choose yourself too. Accept yourself for who you are."

-x-

It takes him one more year, a heavy loss and therapy, but Rin makes it.

He can look into the mirror now without hesitation, can look at his flaws and his strengths and say, as honest as he's ever been: "This is me. I like me the way I am. But I'm still improving. Just watch me."

"Boop," his daughter makes in the bathtub, pressing her finger against his abdomen. She laughs, mouth wide open. "Boop," she makes again.

He picks her up and cradles her against his chest, filled with warmth and happiness, especially when you fall into their laughter.

"Hey," you suddenly say, "Did you notice that?"

"Huh?" He asks, lowering the little monster back into the warm water. "What do you mean?"

"You've got a spot there." You point to where he'd just been booped.

There, in the color of your eyes, is a soulmark.

[revelboo]

ARRRRRGHHH I love your sunstreaker and sideswipe stuff!!! Is this a series you’re going to be interested in continuing?

And you mentioned in the first fic that sideswipe consumed human media, so how aware are the autobots of humans sentience/sapience??

Oh, he knows humans are sentient. He just doesn’t care. For now, I’m pretty much passively continuing most of these. I need to write a part two for Cliffjumper, update IDW Megs, and the Lost Light stuff.

Can’t Finish What You Started Pt 6

IDW Sunstreaker x Reader, Sideswipe x Reader

• When Sunstreaker recharges, he returns to Kaon. Remembers the smell of rust, lubricant, and energon as he fights through the crowds of bigger bots. Getting jostled as he uses his body as a battering ram, a shield. Behind him, Sides clings to his hand, asking him to slow down. Not understanding that he can’t. They’re drawing too much attention again, but he’d wanted to stay in their current place just a bit longer. The abandoned building he’d found has several good exit routes, it’s harder for them to be pinned down. It’s safe, but once they start getting noticed, that safety falls away under his peds. Knows that if they are noticed, they’ll end up dragged into the mines by the enforcers. And knows what happens to the weak, the young there.

• The rasp of metal on metal has you lifting your head, tiredly watching Sunstreaker move around in his recharge and wondering if they dream. They must for him to restlessly shift like that. Almost like he’s gripped by a nightmare. Sideswipe had dropped you on Sunstreaker’s berth near his head and just left you. Watching the big, yellow Autobot’s head turn, a whisper of unease lifts through you. Because he might accidentally swat you off the berth, but also because whatever he’s fighting is taking a toll on him. You shouldn’t care, but it hurts your heart all the same. What do giant, alien robots have to fear? Standing, you approach him cautiously. Seeing a flash of his bared denta, as he vents slowly. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you sigh. This isn’t your problem, you’re being held against your will by him and his twin, but you still reach out and lay a hand against his jaw. And feeling like a complete fool, start humming the kidnapping jerk a lullaby.

• Venting sharply, he’s aware of a soft sound, of something warm against the side of his helm. It takes a moment to understand its Sideswipe’s pet leaning against him, humming softly. Like you’re trying to soothe him. Keeping his optics shuttered, he tries to shrug off the last vestiges of the dream. Hating the fear still tightly wrapped about his spark. That Sunstreaker is long gone, he’d had to grow up quickly, do things he’s not proud of to survive and, more importantly, ensure Sideswipe survived. It shouldn’t bother him anymore, but that soft humming eases the tension. And he tries to remember if anyone has ever tried to take care of him like this. Worried over him like you are even if he doesn’t need or want your pity. “Why aren’t you resting?”

• The soft question takes you by surprise and you fall silent. How long has he been awake? Listening to you humming to him like he’s a child needing comfort. Face flushing, you’re just glad he can’t see you where you’re sitting against him. “Do you guys dream?”

• “What kind of a question is that?” Growling under his breath, he huffs at the feel of you shifting against his helm. Hating that he doesn’t mind you there.

• Rolling your eyes as you wrap your arms around yourself, you resist the urge to rap against him with your knuckles, because there’s no telling how badly he’d take it. “I’m sorry, but you’re the giant, horror movie alien, how should I know if you dream.” When he just huffs, you glance up at the profile of his face. “Want to talk about it?”

• Primus, help him. “Not really.” What could you possibly understand about his life? About that fear he still wakes up with even after so much time has passed. Of being hungry and never knowing how long it’ll be before he can find enough energon for him and Sides. Always afraid. Always angry at how unfair it is. He doesn’t regret becoming an Autobot, doesn’t agree with how much to an extreme Megatron took his rebellion, but what he can never say out loud is that Megatron wasn’t wrong. The senate needed to be overthrown, that corruption running too deep to be cut out. What could you possibly understand about any of that?

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