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your-name-is-jim · 1 year ago

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What a Kirk/Spock shipper sees in a Kirk/Female-Love-Interest story [PART 2/2]

Part 1 <- Please read Part 1 first. Part 2 won't make sense otherwise!

This panel is absolutely AMAZING and you all deserved to see it :D

So, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Laura just proposed.

As you can see, Jim is panicking not sure what to answer, so the first thing he does is calling his two best friends. There are so many things going on here; I'll try to mention everything I care about!

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

This is an important part of this comic: apparently, in this story Starfleet isn't encouraging relationships between officers with a different rank. I know it's sort of implied in canon too, but it's not always clear if it's actually against regulations or if it's fine when the ranks are close.

As a K/S shipper, this detail just gives me an in-universe reason why Jim and Spock aren't considering dating each other in this story: a commander can't probably have a relationship with a captain. I mean, we already know from canon TOS that Jim avoids relationships with the members of his crew, so this just adds a layer to a potential forbidden love story between them. Yeah, I know this isn't what this comic is trying to do, but what can I say? Fans don't stop shipping something just because they learn it's not allowed in-universe… if anything, they can find it more exciting! :D

"We could teach at the Academy. Mind you, she laughed at that idea."

Oh, wait. Jim actually talked to Laura about their possible future together! It looks like he's thinking about them as teachers at Starfleet Academy. Hmm… this sounds familiar:

2277 — Accepts appointment to Academy faculty, moves into San Francisco apartment

This is from Kirk's biography in Star Trek official website. Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan, Jim accepts a job at the Academy. We see it at the start of the second movie, after Saavik takes the Kobayashi Maru test.

Wait, who's the other teacher here? :D

Okay, okay, in that era Jim is an admiral and Spock is a captain, so their ranks are still different, but except for that… They both teach at the Academy. And it's literally what Jim proposed to his love interest Laura in the comic! With my Kirk/Spock goggles on, what I read in that panel is "If Laura and I got married, we could both do this thing that I'm totally going to do with Spock in the future." LOL

Did the comic creators notice the parallel? Probably not. However, we K/S shippers have special skills for finding accidental implications about our ship everywhere, so here it is :)

"Your thoughts, please, Mr. Spock."

I said I had a lot to say about that single panel, so of course I can't skip the last line! A human woman has just proposed to Jim, and what does Jim do? He asks for Spock's opinion. This says a lot about Jim and Spock's friendship, and it's very sweet on Jim's part, but it also makes me think about Jim's love life. What about Jim and Laura's romantic feelings for each other? Does Jim want to spend the rest of his life with her? Perhaps the reason they don't talk about it (not even with Bones!) is that it's implied that Jim loves her and she loves him, even if they never say it. However, I still think it's interesting that Jim's discussion on the matter is mostly "logical".

Anyway, I swear I won't post every single panel of this comic, but Spock's reply is an absolute gem you all must see:

"I AM SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT OF JAMES T. KIRK."

(dkjflsdjlkdjglk brb losing my mind again)

Ahem. Okay, Spock. Noted. Also, wow, nice make up. Did I say that the art in this comic is great? Good.

"I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I find interesting his use of "equal status" instead of the more specific "equal rank". Status makes me think less of their official position in Starfleet, and more of how two people actually see each other. It's not just about Laura and Jim being both captains; it's about them seeing each other as equals.

Anyway, Jim jokes about Bones and Spock finally agreeing about something, and the conversation continues.

Jim's best friends are both encouraging him to marry Laura. In this panel, I zoomed in on Bones because his words are especially interesting. Based on everything we've seen so far, it looks like having a romantic partner when you're in Starfleet is a pain in the ass in general in this comic; however, Bones is pointing out that for the first time, Jim has someone who really understands. Of course, that's because she's a Starfleet captain too.

About Spock, I won't share the entire conversation, but I just want to say that as a K/S shipper who likes to think Spock is secretly in love with Jim in this era, I find his dialogue where he's supporting Jim's relationship with Laura totally reasonable. It's important to remember that this comic takes place close to the end of the five-year mission. We know that Spock is going to run away after that, trying to erase all his emotions in Gol. So, in this specific part of his story, I find pretty in character that he'd tell Jim to find happiness with someone else. That's what he'd do, regardless of his own feelings.

So, Jim knows his two best friends think he should say "yes" to Laura. What happens next?

During a mission, Jim meets his ex Carol Marcus. She is surprised to find out that Jim is considering settling down. This is not completely related to this analysis, so I won't post it, but I found interesting that Carol knows about every single woman Jim dated before he became captain (the only one she doesn't name is Ruth), and she even says "And that woman in 1930, what was her name?" Just… how the hell does she know? LMAO

At least Jim hasn't told her about Miramanee and Rayna (well, technically he doesn't even remember the latter), but seriously, Carol does know a lot about Jim's private life, even if it's clear she doesn't want her or their son to be part of it. (Not really related to this plot, but in case you're confused about the timeline: David is a child in this era; however, he doesn't appear in this story.)

Anyway, this is what she eventually tells him:

So, I like to think that Carol is genuinely trying to help Jim here, because the spiteful ex girlfriend is another thing I don't really want to see in 2020. I want to think that the creators meant well; however, what happens in the story is that, despite Jim not seeing himself outside the captain's chair, and despite his best friends telling him to marry the captain that is just like him… Jim keeps thinking about Carol's words.

He knows from Starfleet that he's going to be promoted to admiral the moment he reaches Earth. What is interesting here is that Jim could refuse the promotion and be a captain with Laura. This is definitely a different situation from everything else I've seen before. It's obvious to anyone who has watched TOS movies that Jim is not happy as an admiral. He didn't really want to be one. He doesn't want to be one in this comic series either (you can see it explored in Star Trek: Year Five main story). However, thanks to The Motion Picture, we also know that he will accept promotion at the end of his five-year mission. This isn't a canon divergence story: the writers can't really change any major event, so they have to work with what canon offers.

What I find interesting is that in this 2020 comic, Jim finds himself in the opposite situation he is in Gene Roddenberry's The Motion Picture novelization from 1979. In Roddenberry's novel, it's mentioned briefly that Jim starts a relationship on Earth with a vice-admiral, a woman that was basically asked to use her charm to keep Jim grounded. Jim could refuse promotion, but he finds himself lost, without his ship, without Spock, and eventually without Bones. So he tries to convince himself that a life as an admiral with a perfect woman by his side will be good for him (it will not; Jim himself will realize a year later that his lover was an "Enterprise-surrogate").

Now, I understand trying to write something fresher and more modern in this Valentine's Day special, but I confess that I find a little hard to believe that Jim would accept a promotion as admiral if the alternative was keeping both a starship AND a wife. Also, let's not forget that Spock and Bones are both telling him to choose the married captain life. So, while I totally get from a writer's point of view that if you can't change canon, you have to work with what you have, I'm also not sure that Carol reminding Jim that he's always wanted to challenge himself is enough to make him doubt everything.

I guess I can sort of see that as part of a bigger problem: Jim knows he can't be a captain for life; during his first date with Laura, as we saw in Part 1 of my analysis, he talks about it.

"I've been thinking lately about whether I could ever stop being a Starfleet captain. Whether I could ever want to. A friend of mine talks about 'infinite diversity'. That applies to the Federation, too. But here I am, only built for one thing."

So, Jim knows he has probably avoided the subject for too long. Carol is forcing him to think about it. And, more implicitly, we could say Spock and his IDIC philosophy are also making him think, even if it's not what Spock would have expected. After all, Spock told Jim to marry Laura (in the comic), and he'll tell him that being a starship captain is his "first, best destiny" (in The Wrath of Khan).

Anyway, Jim eventually decides to meet Laura and talk to her about his personal concerns. First of all, we find out that the two of them haven't called each other for six weeks. Laura is still waiting for Jim's answer, and she didn't want to call him. If you ask me, their lack of communication is yet another a big clue that perhaps getting married is not a great idea.

Well, now Jim is at least trying to talk to her.

Aaand that's how she breaks up with him.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. I mean, in a sense, Jim doesn't say "I decided to be an admiral instead of marrying you", but Laura definitely sees it that way. I think he was genuinely looking for help, but that just proves that Laura isn't the right person for him. Why marrying someone you can't communicate with? They are such a great team as captains, but it looks like that doesn't apply to their relationship. I pointed out other clues in the previous parts, and now we got this. It's interesting to see that Jim in this comic can have a normal conversation about his future with Spock, Bones, and even Carol Marcus, but not with the person he's supposed to build a future with. Unless something changes between them, it can't work out.

Anyway, this isn't the end.

A year later, when Jim is an admiral on Earth, there's a sudden emergency. A miniature black hole appears out of the deep structure of the universe (don't blame me for the science, I'm literally quoting the comic LOL) and it's attracted to Earth gravity. Short story: they're all going to die, but fortunately the Drake (Laura's ship) can cause an anti-matter implosion that will shunt the black hole outside their reality. Unfortunately, that also means the Drake will have to go inside the black hole. Laura evacuates her crew and asks Admiral Kirk to give her the order to proceed. Reluctantly, Jim tells her that he knows she'll do it, and he gives the order.

Now, please appreciate The Motion Picture aesthetic:

Okay, I know I could have chosen a panel with Jim and Laura, since this is literally their love story, but I did say this analysis was going to be biased, so here is Laura with her two closest friends instead; they would never let her risk her life alone! <3 They are very obviously meant to be a parallel to what Spock and Bones are to Jim, which is very cute to see. Now, Laura, listen to me: I know the three of you have different ranks, but you may die in a few seconds… And I just think that the few times your friends appear in this comic, you have a lot of chemistry with them, sooo maybe you should forget about Jim and just smooch one of them, or both… just saying :)

Ahem. Anyway, after Laura and her girlfriends disappear into the void, there's another timeskip. This time it's 15 years.

Oh, damn.

I said in the premise of this analysis that one of the reasons I decided to read this comic despite shipping Kirk/Spock is that, in my headcanon, Kirk and Spock get together after The Motion Picture. Until this point, this comic hasn't really gone against my headcanon. I can genuinely believe that Jim had another girlfriend during his five-year mission; it's not a big deal. Unfortunately for me, this comic has its last part taking place around The Final Frontier era. Dammit.

Well, it's just one comic. I read until this point; it'd be illogical not to read until the end, right? Nah, it's not logic. It's human curiosity. I know I won't like it, but I still want to see it.

Also, if there's something that I really don't want to see in modern media anymore, is female characters dying just to make male characters suffer. I can accept that in TOS show because it was made in the 1960s, but even TOS movies got better about it! Characters like Saavik and Gillian can have their own lives without having to die for a man's pain. It's not a coincidence that the writers had to kill Spock to make Jim suffer. Without digressing too much, I just wanted to say that K/S bias aside, I went into this comic hoping to read something different from another dead woman for Jim. I'm very glad that, at least about this, the comic creators didn't disappoint me!

So, in this story, it's been 15 years since Laura's disappearance (actually, it should be more, but I'll try not to nitpick, despite being the trekkies' favorite hobby :D). Anyway, the one with the whales The Voyage Home happened, and Jim is not an admiral anymore. He's happy to have a starship again, but he hasn't stopped questioning his life decisions.

We can also see that, 15 years later, he's reading the book Laura liked.

HOLD IT! WAIT WAIT WAIT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WHAT THE--

*inhales deeply*

(Friendly reminder to myself that what is obvious to me may not be obvious to everyone else, so I need to explain. Fine. I'll try.)

The screenshots I posted are from The Wrath of Khan, right after Spock's funeral. What Jim is doing there is reading the end of the book that Spock gave him for his birthday. He's mourning Spock.

In the comic panel, Jim has a new pair of glasses, because it takes place a little later in the timeline. But, except for that…

It's the same scene.

The same fucking scene.

I mean, come on! I can't even post the "they're the same picture" meme, because it's not funny if they're literally the same picture! Even the bookmark is the same!

The comic creators literally took a canon scene about Jim reading Spock's book after Spock is gone, and they redrew it with Jim reading Laura's book after Laura is gone. In a Valentine's Day special. Where Laura is Jim's love interest. They made a romantic scene with Jim and a woman that was originally about Jim and Spock.

(Brb, I'm going to chew a pillow until I calm down.)

So. Well. If you wondered why I thought there was something about Kirk/Spock in this comic… you have your answer. Perhaps the artist didn't think anything about it. I certainly do.

And I guess someone could say, "But Jim is still reading Laura's book 15 years later! That's true love!" Why yes, he's not reading Spock's book 15 years later, because he didn't stay without Spock for 15 years; he risked everything and lost all the most important things in his life to save Spock's soul.

Anyway, back to the comic. Starfleet receives a signal from the edge of Federation space. It's the Drake. Laura and her friends are alive.

Jim and Laura have a reunion after a long separation. Since they're both captains now, Jim thinks they are given a second chance.

Oh, whoops.

It's her turn now. It looks like being away for 15 years has changed her (as you can expect, honestly), and she's now glad to become an admiral. In this comic, that means Jim can't marry her. So, this is how the story ends:

So. Um.

This isn't a bad ending, but I also wouldn't exactly call it a happy ending. It's certainly not a happily ever after story. I'd call it open, maybe hopeful? Honestly, pretty much what I'd expect from a love story between an original character and Jim, so I can't say the writing is disappointing about that.

On the other hand, I can't personally imagine middle-aged Jim being so eager to start a romance again with someone he hasn't seen in 15 years who broke up with him 16 years ago. Perhaps he felt guilty about Laura's disappearance because if he had married her, they would have been part of a colonization fleet somewhere else and the incident wouldn't have happened the same way? Maybe. Personally, I would have found more believable an ending where Jim asks her to have dinner together or go for a walk, and then something romantic happening as they get to know each other again. But I can see why the creators wanted to bring up the marriage proposal again, just to close the circle. The comic is just 32 pages, so they did what they could.

"Unless there's someone else." "Not so much. I've been really busy."

Busy with what? Oh, right: Spock's death, Spock's body on Genesis, Spock's rebirth on Vulcan, the time travel (okay, that one wasn't 100% Spock-related), Spock's brother… Honestly, just say there's been a lot of Spock in your life, Jim, because that's the truth :)

On a more serious note, I guess that dialogue could mean that Jim has someone, but "he's been too busy" to do anything serious with them. However, as a K/S monoshipper I don't really like the idea of Jim being in an open relationship with Spock, so Jim's character in the entire scene in the end is just a big NOPE for me. Sorry.

That said, I found very interesting that in a few panels they show very clearly the "captain" rank on Jim and Laura's shoulders, to point out that it's the same. They can't be together forever, but they can have fun for a few days as captains. Because of that, I went back to the start of the last timeskip, just to check out something:

Fascinating.

This is a pretty detailed panel, where you can see the ranks on the shoulders of Jim's friends; the colors of their pins are also pretty good, close to the ones in the movies… except for Spock's.

Oh, please. Did you really expect me not to pay attention to this? :)

Captain Kirk and Captain Spock.

And unlike Laura, this is what they are until the end! The end of a very long life! Generations? What's Generations? Spock will eventually become an ambassador, but that's just a different job. How did Spock himself put it earlier in this comic?

"I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk. And I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Did the comic creators just play themselves? I don't know, I'm quoting their own story here! LOL

And what about Jim's words from the same scene? :D

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

Partners. Of equal rank. Working together.

That's literally what Kirk and Spock are since the end of The Voyage Home! Without an expiration date!

The comic creators made a big deal in their universe about relationships being better between two captains, and how good Jim and Laura may have been for each other if they had married as captains; and now they can't have their happily ever after because Laura is going to be an admiral… But even if the comic tries to hide it, we know there is a captain in Jim's life. And to make things better, Jim lost his admiral rank to bring him back. Listen, I'm a huge Old Married Kirk/Spock fan, so there's no way anything can make me forget that in the last TOS movies they're both captains. And there's no way I can forget that Jim risked his entire career (and everything else!) for Spock, and that's literally why he's not an admiral anymore.

This is almost ironic in this Valentine's Day comic. If it hadn't been for Spock, Jim would have still been an admiral, and he could have married Laura. Whoops. Too bad.

Speaking of admirals, I didn't notice it at first, but there's also something about this line Laura says in the last panel I posted…

"And don't you dare 'Admiral' me."

Ah, yes, a typical thing you tell someone you're planning to have sex with. Right, Laura? Agreed :)

Honestly, at this point I should just stop checking this comic, because I wonder if I'd just end up finding a Kirk/Spock version of every Kirk/Laura Rhone line LOL

By the way, I have other thoughts to share now that the story is over, but there's one more thing first. Do you remember the last panels of the comic? Middle-aged Jim and Laura kiss; END.

Okay. After that, the comic has a picture of the cover, with Jim and Laura kissing when they're younger.

And then it has this:

dklsfjlskjflskjlksjlkdlkgjdlfgsnfjekniuwanf LISTEN, HOW--

Just how am I even supposed to say anything that makes sense about this…??? I'm just… I can't…

Okay. So. We're talking about a Valentine's Day comic. It makes sense for it to include a cute Valentine card. I also get that Spock's iconic line has become so mainstream that it can be quoted out of context. And you can make parodies.

But… But… A Star Trek TOS fan can't really forget the original context of "I have been and always shall be your friend"? Someone could just not think about it, I guess… But, well, I know that at least I can't forget that this is literally Spock's line to Jim rewritten in a romantic Valentine's Day version. I can't possibly NOT think about it!

And I know it's very possible that the people who worked on the comic story weren't even aware of this extra, but the fact that I'm seeing this after reading about Jim Kirk's romance without happily ever after… Jim kisses a woman he can't stay with forever, and then there's Spock's "I have been and always shall be your Valentine". It's just so fucking funny. I can't. If I was feeling a little down after seeing middle-aged Jim wanting to marry Laura, now I'm laughing again. Thanks, Spock's silly Valentine card. I needed it! :D

Anyway, what did I say about this comic taking things originally created for Kirk and Spock's relationship and making them romantic when they're not about them? I can believe that sometimes it's a coincidence, but this card? Please… In a sense, this is the perfect ending.

---

Conclusions.

I started this comic with a question: in 2020, how do you write a story about TOS Kirk falling in love? I wanted to see this attempt. Overall, I think the creators did what they could. Laura is different from every other woman in Jim's life; they didn't kill her off, and they also didn't force a happy ending. I think they did a good job with the canon limitations they had, especially in 32 pages.

Do I believe that Laura could have been a good match for Jim in different circumstances?

As a temporary girlfriend? Yes.

As a lifelong partner? No.

Of course, I'm aware my answer is biased, but I can try to be a little more "logical" about it.

First of all, I think that the comic itself supports my interpretation: of course, like in every story, different people are going to see different things; however, as I already pointed out, Jim and Laura never say that they love each other, and before the marriage proposal their relationship is pretty casual.

In The Original Series, Jim isn't lucky when it comes to romance because the women he falls in love with can't really understand his nature as a space explorer. Sometimes they can, like in Carol's case, and that's why they break up with him. Laura is the opposite, because she's just like Jim. But here is the thing: I think Laura is too much like him.

What would have happened if Jim had accepted to marry her at the end of the five-year mission? They would have been both captains. On different ships, though. Sure, they could have been part of the same colonization fleet, as Jim says in the comic, and maybe it would have worked for a while. However, would they really have seen each other as much as Jim needs?

I don't know about Laura, but we see multiple times in canon that behind his mask as a starship captain, Jim is definitely more lonely than what someone may think.

First of all, don't get me wrong: in these screenshots from The Naked Time, Jim is single, so of course his attraction to Janice Rand is related to that. It's not the same situation he'd be in if he were married to Laura. Early in the series, he has thoughts about his yeoman exactly because he doesn't have anyone else. Contrary to his fame as a womanizer, TOS Jim in canon always has one woman at a time in his mind, never more.

So, why am I sharing those lines? To show that when Jim is always inside the Enterprise, he does feel lonely. He needs a romantic partner's physical touch. However, we also know that Jim does not want a relationship with one of his subordinates, so Janice Rand and the rest of his crew are off limits.

Laura is good for him because she's part of Starfleet, and not a subordinate. But is that really enough? From what I've seen in the comic, no. At the end of the day, it looks to me that Jim and Laura don't really know how to plan a future together. Perhaps it's because they're so similar, but they don't really think of themselves as a couple, especially Laura. There's Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Laura Rhone; they both love their ships, so they should get married? That's not how it works.

Their relationship is casual. Jim doesn't want to define it. Are they friends with benefits? Are they in an open relationship? Either way, when Laura decides to marry him, she asks around if Jim has someone else, and only after that she asks him. Jim, on the other hand, doesn't talk to her for six weeks after her proposal. He talks to Spock and Bones immediately, but not to her. He even talks to Carol first.

Then, when Jim finally tries to talk to her about his problems, she doesn't listen. Their lack of communication is the cause of their break up.

16 years later, what we see is even worse. It's obvious that Laura has just different priorities. Maybe it's because of what happened to her lost in space, but I'm not sure. If they had married at the end of the five-year mission, would have Laura always refused a promotion to admiral? Would she have tried to get a promotion with Jim? Based on what we see in this comic, it doesn't look likely to me.

Now, as I said, different people are going to see different things, so I'm sure that someone really invested in this romance can imagine that Jim and Laura are really meant to be, and they can get their happy ending after their retirement, or in other ways. However, I admit that Jim and Laura's huge communication issues make hard to me to picture a long happy relationship between them. They should both try to get better, but in those 32 pages there was no hint towards that direction.

There's another thing that makes really hard to find any love interest for Jim as a plausible "happily ever after" option: the stakes. I know that it's just a single comic, so the creators had to focus on a few things; however, I couldn't help but notice that Jim and Laura never really save each other from dangerous situations. They work together as a team, and Jim watches Laura disappearing into the void, but does he do anything about it? Does he try to reach her inside her ship before she disappears into the black hole? Does he try to bring her back from the void? No, he doesn't.

In TOS show and movies, Jim Kirk risks so much for his crew and his ship that a Star Trek fan can't believe that a new woman is the love of his life, unless Jim is willing to do for her everything he does for his friends. And honestly, after The Search for Spock… how can he even come close to do that?

And it's not just about Jim's actions. There's his language too. At the start of the third movie, Jim refers to Spock as "the noblest part of myself". What could he say about a love interest that is as deep as this?

Let's be honest here: the reason it's so hard to write a story about Jim Kirk's true love is that the real love story for him has already been written. You may not see it romantically, but Kirk and Spock's story is absolutely a love story. And when a character has someone he loves so deeply, it's not easy to convince the audience that he could have someone new to love as deeply. In Jim's case, the combination of his personality and his canon life makes it almost impossible.

Anyway, before I end up not so accidentally turning this analysis into a complete Kirk/Spock ship manifesto, I'm just going to mention one silly thing about the Valentine's Day comic. Please, don't take it too seriously, I'm half-joking :)

So, there are two kiss scenes in the story: one when Jim and Laura start to spend a lot of free time together, and one in the last panel. Well, I can't believe Jim isn't holding Laura's shoulders when he kisses her! That's just the basis of the way Jim kisses women! D:

Different Star Trek characters kiss in different ways; it fits their personalities. And because the rest of my TOS posts are probably too gay for these gifs, I'm dropping them as references here:

Sorry, but if Jim Kirk doesn't grab someone's shoulders before a kiss, it just kills my immersion! :P

Okay, a little more seriously: Jim doesn't always kiss women the same way; however, his "shoulder grab" is common enough that you definitely notice it if you pay attention. Because of that, I think it would have been nice to include it in the Valentine's Day comic.

After reading this comic, what kind of person would I consider perfect for Jim?

Well, my answer is obvious. However, I'll try to elaborate.

First of all, this story definitely convinced me even more that Jim can only be really happy with another Starfleet officer (or at least someone who's been deeply involved with Starfleet). He also needs someone who understands him as a space explorer, without trying to keep him grounded. And someone very smart, of course. These are all traits Laura has. But they're just the basis.

I don't think Jim needs someone in command of their own ship as a lifelong partner. As I said before, I can't really imagine it working out. Another starship captain would have their own goals and their own ambitions; that doesn't mean Jim shouldn't marry someone with specific plans for their own career, but I think these plans should keep the two of them close, not on different ships. Jim needs his partner physically at his side; if he could be happy in a long-distance relationship, I believe we would have seen at least one working out in canon. But it's never the case. Working on different starships from the same fleet would be a little better, but in my opinion not enough, unless it's for a short period of time.

And there's also the matter of his partner's personality. Jim is a natural leader; that's why he's so good at his job. I don't think he needs a similar kind of leader as romantic partner. This is just my personal opinion, but I believe they would just fight about everything they disagree about. I think he needs someone calmer in his life, not someone who'd encourage emotional outbursts.

More importantly, he absolutely needs someone he can communicate with. If he can't talk to his partner about everything important, they're not the right person for him. That doesn't mean they can't have disagreements or miscommunication issues, of course, but they shouldn't happen all the time, and Jim and his partner should be able to talk about them and make up.

In conclusion: someone at his side on his ship, smart, calm, trustworthy :)

Now, I know what some of you are thinking about: what about the "no relationships with subordinates" personal rule Jim has? How can Jim be in a relationship with Spock (or anyone else on the Enterprise) if he's everyone's superior officer? Well, first of all, I already said that after The Voyage Home, Jim and Spock are both captains. And before that… I think that Spock in the comic phrased it the right way. Jim can find his happiness with someone of "equal status". I think it's pretty clear, in my opinion, that Janice Rand and Spock aren't the same kind of subordinates to Jim. Just think about it: which members of the Enterprise call their captain "Jim"? Bones, Spock and (occasionally) Scotty. These are the three people I believe are "equals" in private to Jim, no matter their ranks when they're on duty. Because of that, a relationship between Jim and Spock could work pretty well.

By the way, another thing the Valentine's Day comic made me think about is that in TOS movies, Jim sort of does with Spock pretty much everything he does with Laura in this story. Not the same way, of course, but does it matter? Spock is his own person, he's not Jim's copy. That doesn't mean he can't indulge Jim, have fun himself… and try to stop Jim from doing dangerous things "for fun", as an old spouse would :)

Okay, perhaps throwing each other into the water doesn't count as dancing, but it's so much better :D

In conclusion, this is the way I can read the Valentine's Day comic as a Kirk/Spock shipper:

Jim mentions Spock on his first date with a woman.

Jim questions his life choices as he thinks about Spock and IDIC philosophy.

Jim does with Laura everything we see him doing in TOS show, except for playing chess (just the thing he does with Spock).

Jim says Laura and him are a good team in Starfleet because they had a lot of sex (is that true about other people he works well with??)

There haven't been many ladies or gentlemen in Jim's life because he's busy (not because he's not into men, apparently).

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together." Good for your future with Spock, Jim!

If Jim and Laura got married, they could both teach at Starfleet Academy, something Jim is totally going to do with Spock someday.

Mister "I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk" Spock.

Also, Mister "I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness" Spock, which is actual foreshadowing of his own future status with Jim.

Hey, look at Jim reading a book that reminds him of his lost love! I wonder where I've seen LITERALLY THE SAME PICTURE???

"Don't 'Admiral' me". This is totally not similar to what Jim tells Spock in The Voyage Home, of course.

Hey, we're both captains now! Just for a few days, but isn't that great? I wonder if anyone else is a captain now, and forever? :D

"I have been and always shall be your Valentine". Totally not a Kirk/Spock line, I don't know what you're talking about! :)

Okay, okay, that's all.

As a Kirk/Spock shipper, I won't deny that I'm a little jealous of this Valentine's Day special comic, because I wish we could get something with amazing art like this where Jim is in love with Spock. On the other hand, Star Trek: Year Five comic series has a few scenes about Jim & Spock's friendship that I really liked. Platonic, sure, but good enough for my K/S goggles!

Thank you so much for reading this post until the end! I hope you enjoyed my analysis! Live long and prosper!

#star trek analysis #star trek: year five #star trek: year five valentine's day special #star trek comics #james t. kirk #laura rhone #spirk #star trek tos #star trek the original series #k/s #kirk x spock #space husbands #my gifs

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fandom-flight · 1 year ago

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I'm about halfway through Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint,and I'm really impressed with how it practically bleeds with themes of storytelling and our relationship with stories as humans. There's the obvious stuff, like how the main character's whole shtick is being a reader with "bookmark" and "fourth wall" abilities, but as of about chapter like 240, I've never stopped tangibly feeling how much ORV seems to want to explore the concept of stories (and not just in the sense of the novel's world where stories are like a kind of power, though that is kind of part of it). I ended up having a lot of roving thoughts, so more under the cut

Specifically what I mean by this is that almost every aspect of the world building and the plot has some kind of commentary on how people relate to stories. The constellations, for example, are very clearly kind of meant to be audience stand ins, especially in the beginning. They're watching the stories of our main characters on stream much the same way that we the readers are watching the story of ORV on our devices in the real world, and oftentimes their reactions to the events mimic our reactions from the outside– they cringe when characters do embarrassing things, they ship characters with chemistry, they hold their breath when things gets tense, and feel genuinely sad and heartbroken when bad things happen to the characters in their show. It's through their financial support that some of these stories can continue to be told, kind of the same way that fans' monetary contributions to artists enables their art to continue being made. Kim Dokja even calls out how the tables have turned early on in the series, that he used to be the one watching them through a screen, and now the situation is totally reversed. The constellations also kind of mimic the negative effect that the audience can have on art– sometimes artists have to bend to the will of their supporters even when it goes against their desired direction for their own art because that's what pulls in the money, and the way that incarnations and dokkaebi have to listen to the will of their sponsors feels like a very on the nose parallel for this. ORV sets up both the constellations and Kim Dokja as content consumers who have a love of stories in common in order to make a statement about how loving stories is universal, while simultaneously laying groundwork to make statements about the line between reader and narrative. Another thing that Kim Dokja has in common with the constellations is that both he and they are increasingly brought to the boundary of the fourth wall as the series progresses. In the same way Kim Dokja starts to realize that he IS part of the story now, and that the people he previously just saw as characters are actually real human beings that he has emotional attachments to, the constellations also start becoming characters who appear in the story and impact it directly, rather than being detached observers. This process of becoming a part of the story after being emotionally invested in it is naturally not something that literally happens to people in real life, but readers wanting to insert themselves into a narrative they love is something very human. I mean, fanfiction is incredibly popular because a lot of us humans can't just leave media that we love alone, we keep thinking about it, we want to expand on it, change it, and sometimes even insert ourselves into it. Historically, myths have had many different versions circulate over time, with some cultures borrowing figures from others and literary giants creating characters of their own (or even versions of themselves *cough Dante cough*) to insert into these legends.

In addition to the very human desire to become a part of the stories we love, ORV also calls out how humans are are kind of enamored with certain themes, and that we show this by having these themes appear in various legends the world over. Realms of death, myths of resurrection, tales of slaying supernatural evils, all of these things are shown to be so universal that constellations sometimes have copyright disputes over them. The fact that the constellations that appear in ORV are so varied is another place where ORV proves to be a love letter to storytelling. The author has such a diverse collection of gods and historical figures that I can't help but see their love for stories as something so strong that it transcended culture and nationality. Furthermore, the fact that constellations obtain their status from how widespread their stories are feeds into the theme of people being stories, which is another interesting angle to look at the relationship between people and stories. ORV has characters literally say "people are stories" out loud, and Han Sooyoung references the philosophy that people only truly die when they've been forgotten, but there isn't a single second where I really stop feeling like this holds true for everyone in the book (and not just because souls being stories and people needing stories to live ends up being part of the worldbuilding). The idea is that our stories give us value, both intrisinsically and extrinsically. ORV represents this literally, as the notoriety of a story actually makes people stronger, and also stories can be used as currency or food to some people. Even on a scale lower than the constellations, the reputations of characters and the rumors of their incredible deeds can increase their value to outsiders, the same way that a person's reputation in the real world can affect their job prospects and social connections (this is a little more obvious and would happen in any story, but I think that the mythologizing of the ORV characters in their own universe is meant to exemplify the effect of a person's stories on their perceived value).

The theme of people being stories also extends to a related but still separate (I think) theme of everyone being the protagonist of their own story. Kim Dokja begins ORV by talking about how much Yoo Sangah feels like a protagonist. She has all the qualities that a main character should have, and Kim Dokja feels like he could never match that, despite the fact that he clearly wants to be a protagonist really badly. He wants to be cool, special, and confident, but it's not until the scenarios start and he starts being able to use skills in a way unique to him that he starts realizing that maybe he can be a protagonist too. And again, this is a theme that ORV just constantly exudes– Kim Dokja often explicitly talks about how everyone is living their own life and being their own person. When he sees Yoo Sangah and Lee Hyunsung for the first time after the intermediate dokkaebi Paul separates them following the golden thrones destruction, he's impressed by their growth while he wasn't looking, and we the audience are reminded that these people learn and progress as the center of their own world. When Kim Dokja is separated from his friends after the Dark Castle arc and hears what they've been up to, he muses about how, even without him, the world continues to turn, scenarios continue to run, and people continue to live. It very much helps that the author of ORV gives every side character a vibrant and memorable personality so that we can better empathize with them as their own people with their own lives, even though they might not get as much screentime. Characters who we do not think to care much about are shown to have significant development while the main character isn't with them. Kim Namwoon matures into a calmer, happier person in the Underworld long after I forgot he existed. Han Myungoh went from bring an insufferable nepotism baby to being a determined and loving father who is willing to be an ally. The author constantly reminds us that Kim Dokja isn't the only one in this world who is a protagonist with a story worth telling, and in a way, it kind of feels like they're also telling the readers that, not only are we the main characters of our lives, but we also can never forget that the people around us are protagonists of their stories as well.

In short, ORV uses just about every character and storyline to convey that humans may love to consume the stories of others, but we can't forget that we're also writing our own stories by living them. Humans are made up of the stories they love, the ones they write themselves, and the ones they put a part of themselves into, and I just get the sense that the author has a lot of feelings about stories and how important they are to us as a species in every sentence they write. I'm definitely curious to see how the story ends because I can't imagine how the author will conclude the series when making a statement about this theme seems so important, but anything that would be a satisfying conclusion to the story would really be counterproductive to making that statement. As a reader, I want a definitive "and they lived happily ever after after solving the story's problems," but since the author actually has Kim Dokja muse on how "he never felt satisfied by 'and they lived happily ever after'," I kind of can't imagine that that's how this series will end? Because it doesn't sound like the author was ever completely satisfied with those endings either. But I also don't think ORV is meant to be a tragedy, so I'm excited to see where things go!

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv spoilers

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coolhorse · 1 year ago

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Christian pure spy. History and characterisation the essay.

not usually what i post here but hey. I am presenting almost everything available on christian pure spy and the major 2 eras of his characterisaiton and their influences/his powers/ all that kind of thing. This is the most comprehensive cps thing out there.

incredibly long post warning.

the beginning. tumblr user mit-332 (23 may 2012)

^^ very relevant to tumblr’s general perception of CBS also. Was pretty different to kekas videos. (here is the post link)

As an avid sniperspy shipper, mit-332 built cps as a counterpart to cbs, this is why the pair compliment eachother like they do, and why the first piece of art of him is with cbs. The shippability is the point here. That is why he exists. the first art of him ever is ship art.

First image by (x) created one day after the freak was first posted. other are by tumblr user star-bbee and are also some of the first fanart of the freak. Despite the first image being created literally the day after his introduction, and the post specifying he is not a man of religion. we already have angel/demon imagery!

other early fanart. here is the credit (X) (X)

tumblr/deviantart user uberchain also began making sfm posters of him at this time.

(x) (x) (x)

he was always paired with cbs, which is to be expected. and typically he is seen in a non combat role, or being his sidekick/ally and looking out for him. he is the kinder of the pair and a parallel to cbs. none of this will change.

2. DW VS TK VS CBS (21 SEPT 2013)

Christian pure spys first video appearance and where most of his characterisation comes from. and a personal favourite freak series of mine. (x) (x) this may also be the first time christian brutal sniper has been shown as a christian. I havent been able to find anything that predates this series to depict him in this specific way.

in the linked image, witchy does not credit mit-332 as the creator of christian pure spy. he says the creator is unknown. Which i think is important to remember when it comes to how he writes cps.

Basically in this series he is working alongside cbs to kill demon witchy who is a demon and satans daughter. A lot of his characterisation seems to be inspired by the helsing anime. the series is lemurfot and witchy collab but looking at their individual works outside of the collaboration, I assume witchy was behind the script so I will refer to him as the writer. it lines up entirely with how he makes and writes his machinima and lemurfot says in the video that witchy did most of it.

In DW VS TK VS CBS the pair are religious and christian pure spy uses bible themed powers to attack and remove demons from the world.

He takes his job as a demon hunter very seriously, and typically is very calm and gets straight to the point. He views demons as things which he needs to remove from the world and takes care in doing so as painlessly as possible. while not a pascifist he disagrees with harming people, but is not above threatening them. he plays off of brutal, often grounding him and being 'the voice of reason', his seriousness and detatchment to his job is a purposeful direct contrast to him. and despite their arguments they work together and seeming have been for quite a while.

Christian pure spy aims to kill demons painlessly and quickly. Not liking to make them feel pain or suffer. This causes conflict between the two. but they are still partners. in this iteraton he also says he likes to be called "father pure" but it never comes up again.

His powers are introduced in this. his abilities need to recharge after use, and too much use of his magic at once can stop it from working. when he introduces himself and states his ability to "turn off the body" which he later uses, it basically just knocks someone out. He can create portals, locate items (cbs' knife), use some kind of forcefield attack to throw people back, he can teleport his weapons and himself, he also has a restoration ability as well as general 'bible powers'. he is agile but not superhuman.

3: The rest of it.

to my knowlege there has been no more major videos containing him, he has had a few cameos but nothing dw vs tk vs cbs level. the freak fortress wiki says he may appear in lost in nightmares but the only similarities he has to the black spy in the video is that they are both religious spies. one of the wikis also mentions him as weak to lava, i do not know where this comes from, there is no real mention of this. He is mostly depicted as a human, so sure he would be weak to it but theres no source or explaination.

the idea about christian pure spy being a resurrected red/blu spy has never come up beyond the original post. in christian brutal sniper origins (x) (the video referenced in the original post) cbs is a red sniper is kidnapped/tortured/killed and he comes back to life and becomes cbs and seeks revenge, and the red spy from the previous videos becomes gentlespy. christian pure spy may have been intended to have had a similar backstory. but regardless, he never got one and this version of his character seemed to be abandoned and left out immediately after it was posted.

tdlr; watch dw vs tk vs cbs and check out the linked artists. its great fun.

#i wrote this in one sitting. so i may have left things out but i dont think i did. thoughts? these are like ALL the major cps events #freak fortress #christian pure spy #tf2 freakshow

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lamonnaie · 1 year ago

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bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

Thanks for the tag @fiercynn !! This is a really lovely idea :)

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself hi i'm mars, i use she/her pronouns, i live in australia and i've been into thai/asian bl for a little over a year now. i mostly just lurk and mass rb on tumblr lol, but i'd definitely like to get to know more people !!

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? I was actually trying to track down the exact date recently (i failed), but i watched it for the first time around mid-september 2022, ended up binging it in a day and been a part of the fandom since

favorite ship(s) patpran <3

favorite character(s) pat !! he's one of my favourite characters from any media ever. I just love how selfless he is and how he transforms through the show, and how bright he is but knows when to stand his ground. i could wax poetics about him fr <3

favorite episode(s) Whenever i watch/rewatch bad buddy i tend to binge it so i can never distinguish betweens episodes lol. In general, ep 12 is definitely one of my favs because i feel like it ties things up nicely and i like seeing them happy :) i can probably give a better answer for favourite scene...

favorite scene(s) ...which is why it's great that this is the next question!

In no particular order: the staircase proposal scene, the bus stop roleplaying scene, the post-curtain bench hand holding scene (specifically that one face pat/ohm makes which imo is the single most most heartbreaking frame in the entire show), the ep 12 post-credits scene (wait was it actually post-credits, i don't remember ajksdjf), the screaming on the rocks at the zero-waste village scene, and the rooftop kiss (ofc)

Basically i just like to see them happy (most of the time) :)

one thing you would change about the show if you could the whole making-it-up-to-wai arc was not it for me. WHY was pran the one apologising and going after him??? still makes me mad to this day, but i think i'd have a lot more animosity towards wai if ep 12 didn't exist (also all the wai redemption arcs in fanfics have made me warm up to him :P)

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? ahhh so many!! joy of stanning a show that's finished is that it stays going through fanworks, but also now there's too many that i absolutely adore to remember in the moment, sp here's some:

we both know you're my only dream (fic) by @fiercynn: one of my favourite fics ever that i constantly go back and reread whenever i'm having a bad day (or not)

yield strength (fic) by @dulosis: the physics analogies do something to my brain /pos

10 things i hate about you (fic) by @nobodynobodyno: this one's so cute and i reread it all the time

this fmv to tujh mein rab dikhta hai by @transpat: desi moots, iykyk. but fr this holds such a special place in my heart, the lyrics are so patpran and the editing and clip choice is just *chef's kiss*

this fmv to dandelions: IT'S SO GOOD. all the parallels, the dialogue overlaying is just perfect, and the TRANSITIONS (the one at 1:28 especially)

every single one of @hereforlou's art: i'm literally obsessed, i don't always see everything on my dash so i'll literally check their tumblr every couple days. is this stalker behaviour? possibly, but if you've seen their art i think you'd understand.

Also special mention to this one gifset of the staircase proposal scene which was my first ever exposure to bad buddy, it made me watch the show to begin with, but i didn't rb it when i first saw it so now it's lost to the times 😭😭

I have an insane amount of fanfic i wanted to put here but for the sake of length of this post, i restrained myself ajskdjf

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? i do not (yet 👀)

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) pretty much every fmv/edit that i've rewatched a couple times set to a song will make me thing of bbs lol, so some are tujh mein rab dikhta hai and dandelions from above, emily by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler because of this amazing fic, and gorgeous by Taylor Swift because of this gorgeous edit (y'all please go watch it it's amazing).

idk anything else you want us to know? It's the perfect timing for this because these are my nails right now ):)

honestly not super sure who of my mutuals are bbs moots so i'm just gonna tag some people, feel free to ignore this if you've already been tagged/don't want to do it! :)

@nobodynobodyno @dropthedemiurge @justafriend-ql @cornflowershade @hometothecanyonmoon @7nessasaryevils

If you see this and you want to do it, this is is me tagging you as well !!

#bad buddy #bad buddy fandom meme #bad buddy the series #me #lamonnaie stuff

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imminent-danger-came · 2 years ago

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Your analysis is delicious and thank you for enabling my bitching. We are holding hands.

Your point about the samadhi fire is so right! Like if Red Son got it, it would have to be a completely different arc, everything would have to change. Unrelated but I think Mei, MK, and Red Son all simultaneously being foils of each other is very interesting

TBH I could go on for even more paragraphs about my many problems with how Mei's treated by the fandom so here's some petty complaints I left out of the first ask:

Her getting hypersexualised in a lot of fanart

Her struggles with the samadhi fire only getting used as angst-fuel for other characters and never for herself

Fans only ever addressing misogyny when it's about someone disliking a ship shes in.

She gets compared to Willow from TOH like a lot? I don't know why???

(this one is hyperspecific and very petty) Multiple Youtube vids about LMK that only bring up Mei to talk about how the ship her with Red Son (while making fun of other ships simultaneously for sooome reason...)

girl is canonically into MCR. thats not a complaint i just dont see people talk about it

and thats not even going into how the fandom treats female villains :P

Anyways Mei deserves a gun and LBD and Spider Queen deserve the world

Mei, MK, and Red Son all simultaneously being foils of each other is SUPER interesting. I just talked about Mei and MK as well as Mei and Red Son parallels, and like it SLAPS. I should delve into MK and Red Son parallels, but that's for another time.

On the topic of Mei being compared to Willow, I think it's because they're both green girl characters who are considered "tough"? It's a very vague archetype—but, I think fandom in general likes to put characters into these nebulous categories. Each character gets sanded down to like 3 base traits and everyone calls it good. It's genuinely maddening.

And personally, I don't really ship anyone in LMK (excluding Freenoodles), so the amount of ship art I see and the way ships predominate is very off-putting for me. I think that's mainly because none of the actual show really focuses on romantic relationships (one of it's virtues, I'm an MK is aroace truther), but to each their own. Shipping is super fun, and I totally get it. However, when it gets to the point where no other relationships/dynamics are really focused on, especially on a show so focused on friendship, it just feels off. It feels even MORE off when the only time you discuss the main female lead is to ship her with Red Son.

AND LOL THE FEMALE VILLAINS. MY POOR GIRLS. I don't think I've ever come across a post about Spider Queen (though her henchmans get a lot of love), and really it's a shame. That girl was doomed by the narrative, and BOY was she doomed by the narrative with MK. Granted she's been dead for 2 seasons, but I STILL see Sandy and Huntsman art, so idk. It honestly feels like the misogyny.

Lady Bone Demon and I are best friends and I love her so much. Truly one of the most villains of all time. "No staff and no backup—so, your plan is to fist fight a child?" OH MY GOD SHE'S SO ICONIC. That AND she has fucked up parallels to MK (sorry my boy foils just about every character in this show, he's a reflection), what is there not to love?

She TRIED to go about helping the world the "right" way, attempting to lead someone with real power to be better (as shown in the 3x11 flashback, but on god that scene parallels her whole relationship with spider queen), and IT DIDN'T WORK. So then she tried to "help" the world by starting with a clean slate, and that didn't work. And then you realize that she was doomed by the narrative just as much as anyone else. I'm fucking obsessed with her. Seriously, the "to pain" scene has been in my head for 5 straight months. I'll never stop yelling about it.

I've been listening to Lady Hell by Dirt Poor Robins on repeat thinking about LBD, and I can't help but rotate her in my mind. She captivates me.

#100% forgot Mei was into MCR good for her #asks #imp tag #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk mei #lmk lbd #lmk lady bone demon #lmk spider queen

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brokentoasterrr · 2 years ago

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ok listen this has been on my mind for DAYS now so i’m going to shout it into the void and we’ll see what happens.

i have a note on my phone that says “exclude tags ao3” where i have written down every single tag i don’t want to see when i scroll through my favorite ship tags. this means that i don’t see what i deem gross on my feed, because every time i go scrollin’ i make the choice to curate my online experience.

the ONLY time i have ever reported a work on ao3, it was because there was a fic rated teen with tags that were clearly explicit. i didn’t want to read it, i didn’t want to leave a comment on content i wasn’t going to read, so i reported it for the sole purpose of the creator getting a little nudge so they could rate it appropriately.

the amount of posts i see about content being reported because it contains a squick of someone’s is BAFFLING to me. it’s insane that people feel the need to censor content that presumably wasn’t meant for you anyway. you cannot go online expecting the world of fandom bending over backwards to make sure that you’re safe, because guess what! the internet isn’t an inherently safe space! in order for it to be a safe space, you need to curate your own online experience, and if you’re not mature enough to do that, you should not be online. if you cannot see a piece of fiction or art or video edit without feeling squicked, grossed out, angry, or even triggered, then you have to ensure that you do not see it again. not reporting content that is “problematic” or inappropriate or offensive.

and on that note, fiction is allowed to be problematic. it’s fiction. it is not real. i have read fics containing infidelity, age gaps, murder, drug abuse, what have you, and it does not reflect on me as a person, or what i do during my time offline. i have written violent, disgusting fics; fics containing drug abuse, toxic, abusive relationships, but never in my life would i want to embody or experience what i write. i don’t want to bang a married, muscular silver fox as someone who’s much younger, but reading it? why the fuck not, it’s not about me.

i absolutely do not want to read underage stuff, or incest, or mpreg. it’s stuff that i personally think is disgusting and, to some degree, problematic (incest and underage, to be precise, i find very problematic—the rest is just personal preference). in order to avoid it, i filter those tags out. what one person thinks or feels about one certain topic should not affect other people wanting to read/write it.

the lack of nuance i see in younger people when it comes to fandom and content is frankly insane. they seem to draw such a large parallel between the fictional world and the real world, to the point where they’re incapable of seeing and understanding that the two are not one and the same. you can like a character who killed a bunch of people, write fics about it and explore who they are and why they are the way they are, without agreeing with their actions, beliefs, and values. (coincidentally, the same people who despise problematic content like graphic violence or non-con, will also take the murder character and make it into an uwu smol soft boy who just suffered trauma so its ok he’s doing this loki regulus barty crouch jr need i continue but we don’t have to unpack all of that right now)

sometimes it’s fun to be a problematic little rascal and that’s okay, because the outlet isn’t real. the fic isn’t real. it doesn’t reflect on any personal feelings, desires, beliefs, etc etc etc. the art isn’t real. if it feels too real to you, then????? don’t consume it??????? you can’t watch hannibal and then write to the show producers telling them that they’re horrible people because the show about cannibalism and murder contains just that, when you could’ve just stopped watching hannibal and done something else instead.

curate your own online experience.

#fandom rant #fandom disk horse #fandom discourse #anti anti #proship #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #anti ship #anti proship #antiship

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s-aprua · 2 years ago

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//kaveh character story spoilers

tldr: kaveh has so much angst and I love him for that. babygirl is suffering (I am suffering with him) (also some sucrose parallels bc I'm sucrose's no.1 fan and also some flavors of haikaveh angst)

Foreword

this is honestly just the word dump I threw together bc I couldn't sleep, thinking about angsty kaveh art and how he may now be my second fav character

what's not to love about a man so filled with angst, so riddled with guilt and unable to escape the ghosts of his past? who believes everyone can reach the same heights if they work together, but unable to let others see his own weaknesses? who hates loneliness, but would suffer through it for the happiness of others? wishing to attain the pinnacle of his craft, even if he has to give up everything to see it through? a man who wishes to love everyone around him, but is unable to accept any for himself?

Idealism

ok this is the sucrose part and it is kinda a stretch but I like both of them very much and my target audience is always me, I do what I want

kaveh designs with practicality and artistry in mind, unwilling to give either up, to the point that when he finally gets to create something that he can go all out on both fronts on, he is willing to give up his home to see it through (even then he still owes dori for helping him find the project). when he works with others, he tries to help others keep up because there shouldn't be a gap between "geniuses" and those who aren't, even of it means more work for himself. sucrose is so intent on bioalchemy because of a childhood promise to reach a mythical domain from a fairytale with her ex-friends, both of which have moved on (one literally never returns to mondstadt, one breaking off their friendship after a domestic tragedy). regardless, she still works to achieve the paradise they wished to see as the only way she can make good on that promise. even now she hopes beyond hope that if she can create the wonderland from that fairytale, her friends will return. neither of them have accepted their reality; kaveh's idealism alone isn't enough to fund the construction of a palace, carrying extra burdens wasn't enough to bridge the gap between alhaitham and him and their fellow researchers; sucrose's friends are unlikely to return if she is even able to create that paradise in the first place

(bonus: not gonna type an essay for this one, but there's just something about the way they have lost people but don't let others know it hurt them; kaveh pretending it was fine when his mom left, sucrose never mentioning her friends or the wonderland to anyone)

Alhaitham

I have been typing on mobile and frankly the word vomit and angst have quite thoroughly rotted my brain, sorry if this no longer makes sense

god these two are so. the whole opposites thing they have going on. yes ok shipping them is cool, I get it (roommates, bickering like they're married, opposites attract, etc) but like. imagine this. they both care about each other, ever since their akademiya days, but they express it differently; kaveh with his whole "I wanna help people unconditionally, but if you help me, I will return the favor even if I suffer for it" vs alhaitham with his "I don't care what other people think, I do what I want (and I want you to stop making yourself suffer, why won't you let me just help you)" (ok yeah I made that last part up, pretty sure that wasn't quite how it went) and because of this and on account of how stubborn they both are, neither of them are able to ever see eye to eye again. they eventually come to tolerate each other but they'll never be able to be what they once were; after all, their relationship as built on a foundation of sand. kaveh's mom had just left him, and he had heard about a genius new student; maybe someone who could fill a bit of the loneliness in him. they were perpendicular lines, different from the start, only intersecting once, and bount to drift down different paths

opposites angst aside though, an alternate flavor of angst: alhaitham tries to show care/affection for kaveh, but kaveh with his paranoia of abandonment and fear of loving and getting hurt again, rejects him (if anyone has heard 'namonaki kanjyou' by usotsuki, yea).

that's all I have for that one I am tired and the brainrot is getting harder to fight off

#and I'm home #see you tomorrow #rambles #genshin #genshin impact #genshin kaveh #kaveh #sucrose #alhaitham #i was supposed to do stuff today #but instead i have been going sketch delete repeat #needed to get this out even if getting it out doesnt help #theres also some other stuff i couldn't find a way to add #namely the 2 madoka character songs #the kyoko and sayaka one literally titled #and the madoka one #where she fake smiles as she waves goodbye (idk i wasn't paying attention to the lyrics)#also again apologies for any spelling or formatting things i am on moblie and have typed for an hour

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caendtowntrash · 2 years ago

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More Marx? (Annoyed Groan)

It’s another one of these! Spoilers for the January Endtown Update just as a forewarning.

In my other Marx rant I went over a good amount of Marx but I feel the newest updates to Endtown really drive it home how horrific Marx is and how damaging his presence is on this story and how cruel a god entity he is just via context alone. I think I need to appropriately break it down so people can really grasp this with both hands rather than be dazzled by fancy art and faded memory.

More under the cut!

Marx is basically the creator, the author if you will, of the Endtown world. He chooses worlds which are slotted for destruction and manipulates the circumstances within them to seed a new sandbox for him to play around in. Multiple sandboxes even!

During the Ship Arc it’s revealed that the parallel worlds to Endtown’s world are dead. Nobody survives the apocalypse, which typically is caused by resource squabbling. Marx, horrible god that he is, sets up Endtowns in these worlds that shelter and preserve humanity which we see during the post-mortem Flask epilogue and again in Holly’s flashback where she and Doc Chase are sent to Endtown. He also gives Apex (Topsiders) means to survive the resultant Armageddon as well as evidenced by Amesworth’s Exposition segment of the Eden Arc:

Marx left his ‘clue’ about what was happening to the world and tampered with the biosuit’s plastics which allowed the Topsiders to persist when they would have all transformed or perished. This makes him responsible for the Topsider’s existence and their genocidal rampage on the mutated (grexed) humans. Now the cause of the mutations were revealed to be due to some thinning of reality’s walls which allow a completely unrelated universe, not parallel but cosmologically distant to this one, collide and infect it in a way where people turn into cartoon animals. This may, perhaps, be seen as a kind of accident if you are so inclined to believe so. Like a boulder crushing a sparrow’s nest it’s an act of nature the occupants never would have foresaw or anticipated until doom was upon them. But what if I told you that there was a man who pushed the boulder in the first place? Enter a brief but incredibly damning comment made by Dr. Amesworth in a quiet aside during the Exposition segment:

Isn’t this a really curious thing for her to say? Almost as if Marx chose the nature of what the universe collision was. Which, if you think about it, might be actually true. Marx has been shown to accomplish anything and has not faced something that actually stands as a challenge to his skills or will and expresses nothing but fawning adoration for Cardoodles. We have from his own admission that he’s been manipulating Wally’s ‘story’ to serve the purpose of feeding him to Eye and ultimately combining his soul with Cracked Cat and that he’s done this countless times. He’s admitted in this most recent update that he’s watched or been aware of Duffy committing suicide ‘8 million times’ but only now supposedly thought to stop him. And why?

Marx seems to have this happen where his outreach for characters not named Wally are curious larks rather than anything in his rigid five billion step plan to whatever endgoal he’s looking for with his sandbox. This happened much earlier for Flask too.

And in fact ONLY seems to happen when he’s ‘curious’ if that really is earnest and not another lie to get the circumstances of what he wants to happen, happen. He’s a master manipulator after all, privy to countless permutations of how a situation will go and pulling the strings accordingly. He doesn’t save Holly because the Ship reveals what her ‘deal’ was and deems her too fundamentally broken to fix (even though there could be opportunities to fix her, I feel like Marx cared more about Holly fixing Wally and getting him out of Endtown rather than Holly’s own wellbeing and orchestrated Milk Trial to break her fundamentally). He doesn’t save Walt because he knows exactly what happened with Walt, there’s no mystery to his actions because it’s a perfectly understood progression. How tragic but not anything he has to deal with, people die every day! And he doesn’t save Heather because, uhmmm...

He just doesn’t okay????????????? Endtown’s served its purpose! Who cares about the innocent people left behind in there, it’s fine and dandy to pull some parlor tricks like making your eyes bleed to scare the fascist you put in office or make a sad pose as Walt disappears from existence, maybe the audience will forget you’re actually the reason this all happened and give you a pass for not intervening when you did it for Wally and now Duffy. If the characters are not serving Cracked Cat’s ascension then they’re disposable. It might be neat to see what new thing can twist the story around for Marx’s point of view but each ‘tweak’ is fundamentally not important to his main goal. If something affects the main goal, like Holly, he’d gladly throw them in the garbage. And he has every right to do this in his eyes. Why? Because he made the world. Everyone’s lives were forfeit to his whims the second he ‘saved’ them from an apocalypse. Nobody in Endtown is supposed to be alive, absolutely nobody. So if this world was supposed to die he can do anything to it, can’t he? He can cross a cartoon universe over the one he’s chosen, make the inhabitants change into cartoons. Why? How else can he make the Cracked Cat he wants to see?

#Endtown #aaron marx

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kocch · 2 years ago

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I posted 2,106 times in 2022

That's 748 more posts than 2021!

103 posts created (5%)

2,003 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@magentamee

@onstoryladders

@spacepearl

@will80sbyers

I tagged 2,073 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#byler - 467 posts

#heartstopper - 313 posts

#fanart - 312 posts

#stranger things - 308 posts

#art - 159 posts

#will byers - 81 posts

#mike wheeler - 70 posts

#personal - 58 posts

#about me - 50 posts

#heartstopper cast - 48 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#will agrees quietly. “but you found me mike when i thought i was lost forever” he raises a hand to touch mike’s cheek stroking his skin with

My Top Posts in 2022:

byler listening to music together!! for the doodle requests

thank youu!! byler listening to smalltown boy and being cute boyfriends!!!

ask me a byler doodle

134 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

See the full post

171 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

bylerweek 3: blue and yellow

ok but this is the best prompt for having a crossover: byler x hearstopper

239 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

bylerweek 2: fake dating

will byers is back to hawkins and he is turning heads!! breaking hearts!!! mike suggests that they start dating, so will won’t be the center of the attention anymore (something he can’t handle well).... the arrangement is a great one, and will and mike keep saying it’s just temporary, a trick of some sort, but the party don’t believe it for a sec

299 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

when I say that Will being canonically gay in stranger things is the biggest proof we need for byler it’s not simply because we know he is gay and that’s it - there is context that comes from being in fandoms for something like 12 yrs or more.

first of all, I’ve started watching ST because of people talking about will and byler on twitter (in july), as a person who barely knew anything about it (I didn’t even know mike and el were a couple, so I was super surprised they decided to make it romantic in s1 when I didn’t really feel like it would happen).

i was a sherlock fan who shipped sherlock/john. i’ve shipped non-canon couples for a long time (fandom spaces are queer spaces a lot of times). i know what it feels like to read things from a text that could imply things - a text that could be queercoded, depending on interpretation. i know what it feels like to have fun with fanon and ship things that are potentially there, but not textually canon (like steddie or ronance, imo). it’s fun and it’s mostly harmless, until the writers decide to use it as queerbait to make their fandom stay with them for a long time because they’re rooting for their queer ship (i think supernatural is the worst example of this, as they confirmed the one-sided love and then killed the queer character and sent him to hell LMAOOO). those are milking the fandoms, knowing the strongest core of a fandom is the hardcore ones (many queers) and not the casual public.

i’m a big fan of hannibal, yuuri!! on ice and she-ra, three shows that are mostly queercoded until they aren’t (and they confirm the queer ship to be canon). i swear, people CAN tell. you can see when there is a creator and writer and team who truly wants to tell a queer story/relationship, even when they can’t show it openly (like hannibal or yoi). as a person of the community myself, i’ve been able to tell it was canon. it’s different from fans just shipping things, or queerbaiting, there is care and intention and writing and parallels and romantic framing and so many things that make you see that it is there.

(now, for byler i hope it’s different. every straight couple in ST has at least one kiss and i think byler HAS to have at least one (dramatic, passionate, show-stopping) kiss because it would be totally unfair if they don’t. they have to be totally and utterly canon)

what is different about byler and stranger things, compared to sherlock or other shows for the straights?

it’s will being canonically gay. bbc sherlock would never do that. bbc sherlock would mock feelings. he would laugh about love. he would probably be even a bit homophobic, just for the sake of it.

and it’s not just will being canonically gay, it’s his love for mike being canon. i’m sure other people have said it, but will’s love for mike is NOT JUST A CRUSH. it’s not ridiculed. sure, it’s used to forward a straight ship (that is sinking), but the story is not finished yet and i want to believe that byler is endgame and the writing in s4 was meant to 1) leave things uncomplete and unseattled between mike and will, between lies and non-confessed feelings; and will being in the middle of a relationship that is sinking. 2) mike responding to will’s feelings of love and to no one else, not even el begging for him to say he loves her. 3) making EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS feel sorry for will. cry for will. pity will. root for will. root for GAY WILL. (people who think he is straight and he loves el don’t count, those are morons)

will’s love for mike is LOVE in capital letters. it is not a crush. it’s never treated as something to laugh about, or something like a one-sided crush like Dustin’s crush for Max or Steve’s crush for Robin, those feelings are clearly more superficial and you can see that they’re not gonna happen from miles away. will’s love is A LOVE THAT MOVES MOUNTAINS. it’s totally romantic. deeply rooted. it’s like those loves you can see between jancy or lumax or even more jopper in s4, a love that saves one another, that makes people do crazy things, a love that is inherently part of the character, that makes them FEEL and DO and LIVE and you can’t imagine them not being in love with that person.

these writers know how to write that type of love. each canon ship they made (even s1/2 milkvan in some ways), i’ve loved it. they know what they’re doing, how to make it feel like it’s true love even without writing grand love confessions or making them kiss every other episode. it’s in THE NARRATIVE, the things the characters do and say and imply.

and even more, about byler... something i wrote in a fic i’ll never finish but imo it’s the biggest point we can take away from will’s love and confession in s4. WILL SEES MIKE. will sees mike for who he is and loves him anyways. he sees the best and worst in him and still loves him and knows him and grounds him to reality and tells Mike how he could be the best version of himself, pushing him to fight for it (you are the heart). will’s love is ancient and deep, it’s a love that we don’t even know when it started, it’s always been there, it’s always been part of will (and part of mike, because it IS MUTUAL). it’s like breathing. like the sun every morning, it’s just there. it’s not going away. it’s not even a choice, at this point, there is an helplessness in the love will feels - it’s too big and too much for him he would love to run away from it, but still he can’t deny his heart.

and that’s why i think byler is endgame. because will is canonically gay, and he is in love, and no one is making fun of him for that. his love for mike is serious, profound, romantic, genuine. it makes you cry and root for him. it’s LOVE. the strongest of forces. and every byler scene is made with care. it’s never taken lightly, not even their fights, they always matter. there is no mocking in there. no sneer. it’s treated genuinely. almost like the creators are telling you: “look here, look at them, it matters. it matters to them and it should matter to you. there is something serious brewing here, and it is romantic love”

474 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #my longest tag being a quote from the byler fic i am currently writing HAHAH #the stats clearly confirm that my obsession with ST and especially byler got out of hand frhbfrjfhr #also never been much of an original post person but since i posted some byler fanarts i got some notes and new mutuals :')) nice #about me

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writing-for-life · 10 months ago

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Sorry, this is probably gonna turn into a long rant, but I’m in the mood at the moment. So don’t read if rants aren’t your thing…

Only a few days ago, someone actually commented on one of Neil’s posts:

“Male characters are written better and have interesting complex relationships with other male characters. We need more complex female characters we can relate to and root for!!”

If that were a general call to reflect, I’d be all for it. But they seriously gave that as the reason for the lack of m/f and f/f ships. They basically said it’s the creator’s fault they’re only able to ship m/m! In a post that talked about the Sandman (amongst other things)! The one comic/show with really no lack of interesting women and queer folks. And yet, we have to pick the two arguably (!, you’re free to disagree) most straight-leaning guys out of the bunch and ship them. I mean, it doesn’t surprise me, it’s just what fandom does predictably, and at this point, I don’t think it’ll ever change.

And I’d even be fine with that, but on above justification, I honestly call bullshit. YOU write fanfic! YOU choose to read it because you want to read about two guys, and that would honestly be okay (some needed reflection from time to time notwithstanding) if you stopped making these ridiculous excuses.

If I wanted to draw a parallel: Yaoi is not Bara for a reason. It’s written by (usually straight) women for (usually straight) women. One of the guys is always feminised. I mean, just look at some of the fan-art, read the dynamics of the stories, it’s so obvious I don’t even know where to start. The whole purpose is for a woman to project on a guy and turn a “gay” relationship—heteronormative. Honestly, if they were at least honest about it, but this “queer-positive, subversive™️ feminist shipping agenda” BS just really makes me want to vomit at this point.

I generally don’t ship at all because shipping simply doesn’t interest me. But I started to ship show!ConstantDream out of spite (and I swear if Constantine were still a guy, it would have been a bigger ship than the one that shan’t be named). You know why? Because I want the people who say “but that’d be a straight relationship” to STFU. She’s been established as bi with a meaningful wLw relationship. It’s the bi-erasure crap I’ve been dealing with all my life. People automatically assume I’m straight, when a m/f relationship with one (or two bi) partner(s) is, and always will be, queer. And my partner is straight, but our relationship is not and never will be anything but queer. The shit we both have to put up with to this very day needs no further explanation. I was in a civil partnership with a woman before. I’m not “curious” or “questioning”, or “really just into guys and need to find the right one to never look at a woman again.” He’s not interested in a “hot threesome with two girls” *winkwinknudgenudge*. I happen to be attracted to both men and women, and whom I have long term relationships with depends on the person, not their gender. And I’m honestly so tired of it all and just feel like, “Yeah, that’s the reason why I, the militant non-shipper, want bi Jo and Dream to be a thing.” So us bi folks actually get some representation at some point that doesn’t turn us straight OR gay and just, for once, gets who and what we are.

I’m too deep into my OC fic at the moment, but apart from the Rachel x Jo one shot, I honestly want to write a Morpheus x Jo fic at some point because out of all the canon characters, she makes me feel seen. The only thing that has put me off so far is how deeply I’d need to get into that whole demon business (unless it’s just a one-shot), and I’m honestly not sure if that’s my thing as a writer, and it scares me a bit.

But yeah: The f/f rare pair fic (established in canon though) that doesn’t involve Dream: 41 hits. OFC x Dream: Well over 5,000 (and that’s nothing in the grand scheme of things because it’s an OC fic, plus it’s not PwP. Yet, it quite clearly shows what we’re talking about here).

But to the people who complain that there are “no interesting female characters and that’s why I have to ship m/m”: In the Sandman, that’s a blatant lie, but there’s always the option to write your own if you can’t find the dynamics you like. You can make it so if you don’t find in canon what you’re looking for. I often don’t either because I usually can’t get over what doesn’t make it work in canon (if it did, they would be an item, but that’s just the way my warped brain operates). And that’s okay, it’s a personal thing, everyone’s different, and it’s not about telling people what they should or shouldn’t like. What annoys me is the thinly disguised inverted misogyny dressed up as “being progressive”. If they were looking for real women who are interesting, there are enough in canon (but they deny they even exist). Or they could write their own if they feel they need different relationship dynamics. But they aren’t looking for real women who are strong yet vulnerable. Who aren’t just the walking trope of either the perpetually weak bunny who willingly submits, or the boss babe who has everything under control, including the guy she’s pegging (of course). They aren’t looking for messy, for flaws and deep humanity, for fucking up spectacularly but also trying. For wanting and being allowed to want for themselves. For wanting to support while also being supported. For having their own life and liking it while also hating it and finding a way through. In one word: Being real (and I’m aware that fiction is often wishful thinking, so maybe that’s the problem?).

They are just looking for two hot guys. And that’s fine, but then please don’t engage in this ridiculous charade. These pretend justifications really get on my nerves. Just own up to the fact that you want to see two guys fuck because you get more of what you’re hot for. *That* would be less inwardly misogynistic than this “feminist” BS in the quote at the start of this post. And that crap is everywhere, and every time I read it, I honestly see red (as one might have gathered). It’s not progressive. It throws us back decades, and I’m well and truly old enough to remember. And yes, I do feel like a broken record at this point because I’ve said all of this before.

Also, and on the topic of metas: I see it every time I write one about the women: The interest is so noticeably lower that you just have to assume people don’t even follow any tags apart from “those ones”. And it’s self-perpetuating because at some point, you just feel like, “Why am I even writing them? I spend time on this that I scarcely have, why even bother if no one cares?” Add to that I’ve been an absolute simp for Morpheus since I was a teenager, and I sometimes really think, “Why not just write about him, it’s so much easier because no one gives a shit about the rest anyway.” It is immensely frustrating. And don’t get me started on posts in general, be they art or meta: Art that isn’t Dream, the one who shan’t be named or a combo of the two is never as interesting to people. Posts that so clearly aren’t about the ship (I mean, people should know by now I don’t ship, and especially not “that one”), and yet, they have to make them about the ship. To the extent that I have to retrospectively, passive-aggressively retag that for once, this isn’t about them riding off into the sunset together, and for once, you could actually read what I’ve written instead of just going for the headline or projecting what you want to see onto what I’ve written. Metas that make my position (and that’s all it is) so very clear, and yet, people pretend I said exactly the opposite of what I said so they can keep on existing in their bubble.

I want everyone to enjoy what they’re enjoying. But the juggernaut already dominates 90% of fandom. It’s on ALL main tags, you can’t “just filter it”. So for once, leave us our 10% (and I’m being generous here) without making them all about what you like as well. I don’t comment on your stuff because I have no desire to make it about me and what I like. I don’t even see it if you have tagged it properly (alas, people don’t). It’s sad enough to make us feel like what we prefer doesn’t matter half of the time (because by extension that means: We, as that part of fandom, don’t really matter either), be that in general or during fandom events. But at least don’t try to steamroll whatever juggernaut-free zone there is left and claim it for yourself as well, because then I honestly start to lose the plot.

It also needs to be said that I have mutuals I love dearly who ship the thing, and they don’t engage in any of this crap and haven’t completely lost their ability to reflect. But from time to time, the shit just clogs the drain because there’s so much of it at once, and I need to clean out the pipe. Sorry (but also not sorry) that happened here…

As an actual irl dyke, a certified Lesbian, I fuck with the m/f Sandman crowd, the Morphienne and the CocoRose and the Cocoluce, the Dreamuse folks a million times before I'd fuck with any person who puts out or reblogs one post about how Lucienne and/or Rose and/or Gault is a Lesbian/Bi Icon Yaaas Queen Work Slay and then proceeds to give the other 99% of their attention to the same two or three dudes and those pairs over and over and clearly has no deeper thought or real interest in the personality relationships or inner lives of these ladies.

#fandom misogyny #personal wank #skip if that’s not your thing

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chainofclovers · 3 years ago

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Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts

I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed

If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.

I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.

(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)

Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).

And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.

I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.

I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.

The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.

Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)

I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.

While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.

(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)

Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.

KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.

I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.

I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.

As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?

#ted lasso #ted lasso s2 spoilers #meta by me #ted lasso 2x8 #a lesbian watches ted lasso #cw: suicide mention #cw: alcohol abuse mention

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princessamericachavez · 3 years ago

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YES HELLO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT FJORESTER HEART TO HEART?

THE WAY IT PARALLELED THE JELLYFISH TALK??

Fjord following Jester into trouble and momentarily doubting but eventually being like “I don’t care” because he would follow her anywhere even against his best sense

Both of them sitting there, looking out at the night ocean... like they did on a ship so long ago when Jester first opened up about her sadness.

And now she’s volunteering some of it again:

“Look, you have to see the moon from up here [...] This is where I used to come when, you know, I lived here and I didn’t really any friends. And I would dream about leaving the city and look out in the ocean and think about all the places I could go.”

Sigh

*breathes in*

SCREAMS

guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys

omg remember

“And then I don't know what. I want to explore the world. I want to see the lands we haven't seen. I want to find the things that people are scared of and solve them or do whatever anyone else needs to do. But-- I hope she's a part of that.”

I AM STILL SCREAMING I SWEAR

Anyway, we are just getting started but look at Fjord’s faces through this bit

Because that’s when he realizes that maybe... just maybe... Jester might want the same thing he does... maybe

And then, what does he do?

He diverts attention to something funny: her drawing dicks on the tower. Why? Because Jester is talking about something sad and Fjord wants nothing more than to cheer her up.

And then, wishfully, Jester brings up one thing that I’ve been thinking about ever since we found out these two coast kids had been in Nicodranas for years without knowing each other.

“I wonder if I was ever sitting up here and saw your ship go by even knowing”

“I bet”

Invisible String_Taylor Swift.mp3

okay but also

PLEASE GUYS

if any of you have any art skills and wants to give me that poetic image of younger Fjord and Jester, each looking up wishfully... she’s lonely and young and on top of that tall tower looking at the life she craves to live and Fjord is looking at the city full of homes like he’s never had and they are unaware that they are looking at each other’s future??

GUYS PLEASE C’MON

ok ok ok moving on so Fjord....

he brings up Vandran... awkwardly... nervous... stuttering about the whoel thing...

and his voice suggests that his optimism in Eisselcross was a front put to keep the others calm.

And then he says the magic words:

“Would you come with me?”

“Of course!”

Like he has to ask, please. Like she hasn’t followed him everywhere since the very first day they met. Like she wouldn’t follow him to the ends of the earth just like he has followed him through plunging falls and vertiginous heights above volcanos.

Still Fjord, deep down still that insecure kid who faked a whole personality for months, tries to give her an out.

“I don’t know if being on the sea is of any interest to you or if you want to stay in Nicodranas because you can now and I would totally understand.”

BOI HE JUST TOLD YOU THIS IS HER LIFE LONG DREAM

LITERALLY

STOP FREAKING OUT

“There’s... That is my favorite place to be. I love it out there.”

THE WAY SHE LOOKS OUT WITH JUST AS MUCH LONGING

“And I feel like there’s so much that we could see and share... Besides fucking Darktow is out there and we spent less that one day on it... That can’t stand”

LOOK AT THEM

THEY ARE SUCH A MESS AND SO CHAOTIC AND THEY ARE BOTH SO CURIOUS AND EXCITED FOR NEW ADVENTURES

Also, does his tone talking about that remind anyone else to the way he talked about the possibility of finding treasure to make Marion even fancier before she meets Jester’s father again???

Because I really feel like that’s the same mood.

The same longing for more while trying to make her laugh.

“I would love to go out there with you. I would love to meet Vandran.”

“We could make this our port.”

“We could make this our port”

“WE COULD MAKE THIS OUR PORT”

(sidenote this line alone could’ve sent me spiraling before they were canon... and still kinda does)

excuse me while i scream for the next ten minutes

And then Fjord drops the hint that he wants to still deal with some stuff in Port Damali

ONE SHOT WHEN TRAVIS

GIMME THAT ONE SHOT

YOU WANT IT

I WANT IT

WE ALL WANT IT

UKOTOA WANTS IT

I WANNA MEET SABIAN AND GO TO DARKTOW AND GO TO PORT DAMALI

PLEASE

“But... this city really is beautiful”

YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY IT LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT

AND YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY IT LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOU SAID THE JELLYFISH WERE BEAUTIFUL TRAVIS

AND YET HE DID

“There’s always a home for us here”

hey hey hey hey remember that Tarot reading and Fjord’s future card being “home/the traveler”??????

BECAUSE i do

IF I MADE A DRINKING GAME WITH SHOTS EVERY TIME THIS CONVERSATION had a throw back for the campaign I WOULD END UP LIKE VETH

“Or... maybe we could... you know... get our- our own place”

THE LOOK OF A WOMAN WHO JUST REALIZED THIS MAN WANTS TO MARRY HER (in paper graph again)

im sorry but the rest of the cast’s faces are too good to let out

And then Jester gets SO EXCITED THAT SHE CAN’T EVEN SPEAK

because this boy

this man

this man she loves

he wants to spend his life with her

this isn’t just a “come have adventures and fun with me” proposition

this is a “spend your life with me proposition”

and while she can’t talk of course Fjord panics

much like she did after the “i love you”

because these idiots are really made for eachother and still stumbling through their own confusing feelings for each other even after so long as friends and they are so afraid of screwing it up

But when finally she speaks, when Jester says “yes”... her tone isn’t just a “yes”... THAT YES SOUNDS LIKE AN “I DO”

And they are both so nervous and happy okay?

And then

OKAY LISTEN STRAIGHT OUR OF A ROMCOM

He looks at her

and she meets his gaze

and they both look down blushing

and then she looks at him first

and he meets her gaze

and they don’t look down this time, this time is steady... because they both know they love each other

“I’m really glad that everything happened the way it did”

“Yeah, me too.”

Good and bad. Tumbles and crushes and heartbreaks and deaths and tears and fights and laughter and adventures and doubts and confusion and longing and pining and protecting each other and fighting together and falling and rising and catching each other and healing each other and looking out for each other because it all lead to this... to this moment where they are together and so sure that they are loved and cherished and that this is where they want to be and there’s so much more in their future to look forward to

And Jester snuggles up to him and Travis does the tiniest move to show how he leans against her that just DESTROYS me

and of course Fjord needs to make a joke then, to lighten the mood, because these two disasters are friends first and foremost and is in their chaos that they understand each other

and they have so many adventures ahead

i love them so much you guys

im going to miss them so bad

i love them

oh god

#fjorester #fjord #jester lavorre #critical role #cr spoilers #ONE LAST OF THESE FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE?

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laismoura-art · 4 months ago

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Ok, I'm gonna answer from bottom to top!

I'm so glad you asked about Khameleon cause I did have some ideas for her!

The main idea is that Tanya sort of adopted her as her younger sister and it's Khameleon's dream to become an Umgadi just like Tanya, but she's too young and can't join in just yet, but Tanya highly encourages her and tells her stories about other warriors, Li Mei is the one she talks about the most (she's gotta hype up her teacher), she doesn't talk much about the her training cause that's against the rules!

And I could definitely add Skarlet (there's always space for more girls❤️)

I was thinking in keep her "born as experiment made for evil purposes" origin going on, she would be made by Shang Tsung (I'll probably keep him as this constant antagonist that always sends his minions but never fights the heroes directly), secretly ordered by Shao, his goal was to make a warrior that would infiltrate the Umgadi and kill the royal family!

In the end, Skarlet didn't turn out as expected, she's lost and confused and now everyone thinks she's going mad and that she's a monster and need to be stopped!

But of course the girls will eventually realise she's the victim and will help her out!

---

I was a bit nervous about Jade and the Osh-Tekk bit, but I'm happy you liked!!💚

The idea of having Delia being a deity with a different name for the Osh-Tekk came from a religion of my country, the Candomblé, you can trace a parallel between their Orixás and the catholic Saints and I think that's awesome!

And since we are talking about the Osh-Tekk

Please, I CAN'T be alone on this ship! (I know I am ;-;)

When I was reading the comics (and didn't know D'Vorah was a traitor) I honestly thought they were cute! (And you cannot convince me Kotal didn't totally have a crush on her!)

I definitely want to have Jade begrudgingly agreeing to help D'Vorah on a mission because that would make Kotal happy!🤭💕

---

Ok, I'll give the credits where they're due, I didn't draw the tattoos, there's a feature on Ibispaint where artists submit some of their art to be used by other artists, it's a pretty cool and helpful feat! And I'm still glad you liked the result!

But I DID draw the pixie cut and I'm PROUD of it! It does fit her, doesn't it?👀🩷

happy you liked Tanya too! I liked that MK1 gave her braids cause I love drawing braids!!💛

---

After all this I suppose you can tell I'd LOVE to see/make an animated show of the Umgadi Girls! It would be so awesome to have them going on adventures, exploring Outworld and learning more about the different cultures and themselves! (I'm having a lot of plot ideas, right now)👀❤️

I grew up watching Teen Titans and later got into Voltron, so I ADORE a good show with a cute found family team! (I also watched Winx, but I gotta confess I was more of a W.I.T.C.H gal🤭)

Gays, gals and non-binary pals, the time has come, presenting:

°◇The Umgadi Girls!◇°

The Umgadi leader, Li Mei, was given the task of turning these four young women into true Umgadi warriors and, in the process, help them achieve their own personal goals!

Now let me ramble a bit (a lot) about their designs!

Li Mei wears a typical Umgadi outfit, the only thing is that I gave her her classic bandana but now adorned with silver to resemble other Umgadi hairpieces!

For the rest of the girls, I gave them the same outfit as Khameleon as I believe this outfit is for those on a lower rank.

🗡 For Suchin, I gave her bangs cause I think they give her a meaner look. The tattoos all over her are lilies, a common symbol of redemption and a nod to her family's history!

She seeks to learn more about her family's roots in Outworld (Seido) and gather more skills to become a better vigilante for Thailand!

🌺 For Harumi, I gave her a messy pixie cut cause I thought it would reflect well her "too much energy" personality! She also has a lot of flower tattoos all over her, to represent important people in her life, she has one for her parents, for her grandparents, for Cetrion and Kuai too! And of course, they are a nod to her clan!

She seeks to fulfil the Shirai tradition of becoming an Umgadi and earn her place as next Grandmistress of the Order of Cetrion!

Now, I find it interesting how much sun Tanya has on her design, from her Union of Light Skin to her powers, and even her golden colour palette adds to it!

And it had me thinking, Tanya is the best example of an Umgadi we have, so her design speaks not only about her, but also about the Umgadi as a whole.

So what if Delia is a Sun Goddess?

She's already "The Lady of Flame" it wouldn't be too wild if she became the Goddess of Flame, and what bigger flame we have than the sun?

@rasta-bot once said she could be a blacksmith Goddess that creates holy weapons, now imagine if she uses the sun as a forge!

Now you must be wondering why doesn't Li Mei have any sun motif on her? Or why Jade doesn't have a face paint?

🔆 My idea is that Tanya is not from Sun Do, but from another city in Edenia, and was raised by a different group of Umgadi with their own worshiping rituals (which include the face paint).

She was sent to Sun Do after proving herself to be the best of her group, now if she succeeds here, she gets the to perform her duties in Sun Do, closer to the Matrons Superior, serving the royal family itself and more importantly, being among the best of the best!

She seeks to become the best Umgadi warrior to ever exist and be remembered as such!

🍃Now, Jade is not from Sun Do either, she's a countess and her family is ally of the Osh-Tekk people and (thanks to her absent parents) she spent most of her life among the Osh-Tekk.

they also worship the Sun Goddess (though they call her by other name) and it was through them that Jade started to learn more about Delia and ended noticing some sort of mysterious connection with the Goddess, and thus came the wish to become an Umgadi. She decided to train in Sun Do to be closer to the Matrons Superior and find some answers.

She seeks to learn what is exactly her connection with Delia!

For her design, she has the sun tattoo (given by the Osh-Tekk) and her jewelleries are supposed to resemble Aztec (therefore Osh-Tekk) jewellery!

They are all gifts from Kotal, they are old friends and he likes to gift her stuff. Though it would be convenient for both their parents for them to marry, they never liked each other that way (plus, Jade is pretty sure he has a thing going on with that to-be Kytinn leader from the Arnyek island, she doesn't like D'Vorah one bit, but trusts her friends judgement...)

Oh yeah, and the Edenians have pointy ears too because I said so :P

Aaaaaaaaand that's it for now, folks!! :D

Questions and suggestions are very welcomed, I really want to make this AU grow!

An special thanks to all my girlies for being always so supportive to my ideas!💕 @mikka-minns @thedragonholder @madamealtruist @orbitinytheworld @rasta-bot @meme099 @moody-bloos

#Suchin has severe MKX!Tanya vibes zjsnasjakz #<- SHE HAS!! omg that was so not intentional😅#it's such a nice AU #<- thank you🥹💕#umgadi girls au

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jaskierswolf · 3 years ago

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One Day More

Another for Bards week in @thepassifloradiscord. One fic left after this! This one comes with art by the most wonderful @dama-art

Rating: T Ship: Jaskilion CW: None?

Art - AO3

Jaskier was jealous, but honestly who could blame him. One day a portal just tears through Kaer Morhen, which, by the way, shouldn’t have even been possible, and out tumbles the most gorgeous man that Jaskier had ever seen. He was dressed in fine burgundy silk with a matching hat, a long heron’s feather flopping to the floor as the man crashed through.

Dandelion, aka, Julian Alfred Pankratz, aka, Jaskier.

It was all very confusing. This man was him and yet they were hardly alike, both bards, both friends of Geralt of Rivia, but that was where the similarities ended. Dandelion was taller than him, slender and long-limbed. He bore a startling resemblance to the elves with cheekbones that could cut glass and stunning gorgeous cornflower blue eyes, but it was his hair that Jaskier was most jealous of. It fell in soft curly waves past his shoulders, shining and golden like the sun. Jaskier had been considering growing his hair out for a few years now but he’d never quite had the courage. Seeing Dandelion now though, gods… he was so beautiful.

Jaskier had always loved long hair. He found the motion of brushing long hair very comforting and he delighted in creating intricate braids, soft strands of hair between his fingers pulling and weaving until there was a beautiful design left to marvel at. He’d been over the moon when Geralt had first let Jaskier wash his hair but Dandelion’s hair was something else entirely. Unlike Geralt, the troubadour actually looked after his hair. It was in perfect condition and Jaskier wanted to touch.

Dandelion was chattering away to the witchers over dinner, telling them stories of his own Geralt of Rivia. Lambert found the whole situation hysterical, much to Geralt’s displeasure. Eskel was poking Dandelion for more information with well timed questions. Vesemir seemed more interested in how a parallel universe would affect theirs than the poet and his friends. Jaskier… well Jaskier was completely distracted and he gazed at Dandelion pathetically, both full of envy, and completely in love, but what was a bard supposed to do? Sitting on his hands, Jaskier had to stop himself from reaching out and catching one of those gorgeous curls in his fingers, watching the way the firelight bounced and shone off the soft strands.

He sighed dramatically, moving so his arms were crossed on the table and he was able to rest his chin on the sleeves of his doublet. It was a pretty doublet, soft turquoise and decorated with buttercups. It wasn’t as pretty as Dandelion’s though.

Fuck he was smitten already.

“Jaskier, my dear, are you alright?” Dandelion asked with a tilt of his hand and a dazzling smile that made Jaskier want to sing.

“Hmm?”

Dandelion let out an ethereal melodic laugh that put Jaskier’s songs to shame. “Dear me, you really have spent far too much time with your Geralt.”

Geralt snorted and took a sip of his White Gull. “He’s persistent.”

Jaskier stuck his tongue out at Geralt and shot him a mock glare. There was no real heat behind Geralt’s words but it would be nice if he could say something kind once in a while. “Stop your complaining, witcher. You’d be lost without me.”

“Hmm,” was all Geralt said in response.

Dandelion gave another beautiful laugh, making the butterflies in Jaskier’s stomach dance again. “Look at you both, like peas in a pod,” the poet cooed, shaking his head in quiet disbelief. The movement made his curls flurry around his head and Jaskier couldn’t stop the soft whimper that escaped his lips.

“Dearest Melitele, you’re beautiful…” he sighed helplessly. Dandelion’s eyes sparkled with mirth as he caught Jaskier’s gaze.

“Oh you charmer, flattering will get you everywhere, bard,” Dandelion winked, his tongue flicking out between his lips.

“I love your hair,” Jaskier stammered, encouraged by Dandelion’s easy flirtations. He could practically feel Geralt’s eyes rolling but he ignored him. “it’s like… a waterfall of gold?”

Geralt snorted next to him and he dug his elbow into Geralt’s side without looking at him. Dandelion just raised an eyebrow at him, smirking and clearly amused by Jaskier’s pitiful attempts at flirting.

“I’d love to braid it, if you’d let me?” Jaskier asked, not wanting to lose the chance.

Dandelion tilted his head and rested his chin on his hand, the other dancing in the air with an elegant flourish. “If I let you braid my hair, darling, will you let me kiss you?”

Jaskier squeaked, his cheeks heating up and he just stammered wordlessly in response. Oh gods, he was so screwed. As if reading Jaskier’s thoughts, Lambert laughed loudly and slapped Dandelion on the back.

“I think that’s a yes, Dandelion.”

Dandelion smiled sweetly, making Jaskier melt. He was putty in Dandelion’s hand, which was completely unfair. “Well then, sweetheart,” the poet purred. “Meet me in my room after dinner, and we shall see what happens.”

Jaskier had never eaten dinner so quickly. Normally, he liked to savour his food, enjoy the flavours dancing on his tongue but he was desperate. He needed to get his hands on Dandelion hair like he needed the air they breathed. With delight he noted that Dandelion was also eating at a quicker pace than he had the night before. When they were both finished, well before the other occupants in the room, Dandelion extended his hand to Jaskier, long lutist fingers that made Jaskier weak at the knees. He’d always had a thing for his fellow bards and Dandelion was no exception.

“Coming?” Dandelion asked.

Jaskier practically fell out of his seat, stumbling over the edge of the bench. “Oh fucking bollocks!” he swore, pain shooting through his shins. That would leave a nasty bruise in the morning. “Oh for mother of… I’m sorry, yes. I’m coming.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Lambert called after them as they left the room followed by a soft thump. “Oi!”

In unison, Jaskier and Dandelion laughed as they laced their fingers together, making their way through the dimly lit corridors. “It’s so similar and yet so different,” Dandelion sighed wistfully.

Turning to face Dandelion, Jaskier already had some witty joke on the tip of his tongue, but his mouth snapped shut when he saw the sad smile on the troubadour’s lips. It was only by biting his tongue that he managed to stay silent. As thrilled as Jaskier was to have Dandelion here with them, the poet was alone and without his friends from his world.

It left a bitterness in Jaskier’s heart. Dandelion couldn’t stay with them, they didn’t even know how long they would have. He squeezed the poet’s hand. “We’ll get you home.”

Dandelion blinked, a fake bright smile suddenly lighting up the room, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Jaskier might not be Dandelion but they were alike enough that he could see right through the mask. It was one he often wore himself. No one liked a sad bard after all. “Right, yes, of course!” he trilled and tugged at Jaskier’s hand, pulling them faster towards Dandelion’s room.

Jaskier let it go. A cornered bard never ended well, Dandelion would probably end up running from him and neither of them really wanted that. They might not have long together so he was determined to make the most of what he had.

When they got to Dandelion’s room the poet pulled off his doublet, and placed his hat on the dresser. Jaskier not so subtlety checked him out. It was the least put together Jaskier had ever seen from him, and he was not complaining. Dandelion pushed the sleeves of his chemise up to his elbows revealing nicely toned forearms, covered in fine hair, not nearly as dark as Jaskier’s. As Dandelion crawled onto the bed, giving Jaskier a fine view of his arse, he turned to face Jaskier.

“Stop ogling and get on the bed, darling,” Dandelion said softly, rolling his eyes with a fond smile.

Jaskier wasted no time pulling off his own doublet. Luckily the room was kept warm by a roaring fire in the hearth. The bed was covered in furs that were soft under Jaskier fingers as he moved to sit behind the poet. Dandelion reached across the bedside table to grab his comb and passed it to Jaskier, their fingers brushing as the comb switched hands.

“Thank you, my dear,” Jaskier whispered, not wanting to break the growing tension that was starting to burn in the room.

Dandelion hummed an unfamiliar tune as Jaskier began to brush his hair. The curls were looser than they had been at the start of the day. The poet must have naturally straight hair so Jaskier didn’t feel too bad about brushing out the gentle waves. It was as soft as he’d imagined, feeling utterly luxurious under his finger tips. He was completely in awe. How was this man so perfect?

After a few minutes of brushing Dandelion’s hair wordlessly he began to join in with Dandelion’s singing, adding a harmony that ran below the poet’s angelic tenor. Once he was done with the comb, he placed it on the bed next to them and started to gather up strands of long blond hair. His tongue flicked out between his lips as he concentrated. The braid had to be perfect, just like the poet himself. Dandelion’s song morphed into something sweeter and Jaskier adapted his harmony flawlessly. It pleased him, knowing that they could improvise together so fluently. He supposed they really were two sides of a coin. Different and yet the same.

The braids ran along either side of Dandelion’s hair and wrapped around at the back of his head, leaving half his hair loose. It wasn’t dissimilar to Geralt’s preferred hairstyle, but a lot more elegant, something befitting a bard. Jaskier swallowed, unable to form words. He gently squeezed the poet’s shoulder to let him know that he was done. Dandelion turned around with a look of pure adoration on his face.

And oh dearest Melitele, if he’d been elf-like in beauty before, it was nothing to how he looked now, gods…

“You look beautiful, darling,” Jaskier said breathlessly.

Dandelion laughed and cupped Jaskier’s cheek. He leant into the touch, a warm feeling in his chest that seemed to make the entire world seem a little brighter. “You already said that,” Dandelion teased.

“Beautiful, radiant, ethereal, fucking gorgeous…” Jaskier listed off, he sounded pathetic but he didn’t care. He was a bard in love - he was allowed to be pathetic.

“Hmm… and now for my end of the deal,” Dandelion’s thumb brushed along Jaskier’s lips, blue eyes burning in their intensity.

Jaskier’s eyes fluttered shut as Dandelion leaned forward to kiss him. The kiss was like embers in the fire, warm but not burning, soft, comforting, a glowing light in the dark. Jaskier’s hand reached for Dandelion’s on the furs. Their fingers laced together the moment they touched and gods he felt like his entire world was spinning, melting away until the only thing left was this unbelievably perfect man in front of him.

When they pulled apart, he whimpered. It was over too soon. He wanted more, he wanted, needed, yearned.

“Hey?” Dandelion’s voice was softer than the furs that line the bed, and his thumb ran along Jaskier’s cheek.

Jaskier swallowed and his eyes opened. Only then did he realise that he was crying. It would explain the lump in his throat and the ache in his heart. Dandelion couldn’t stay. It wasn’t unusual for Jaskier to fall in love with those who could only be with him for a limited time, if that, but this one stung more than any of those. He felt this incredible connection to the poet that was greater than anything he’d felt before, and it was doomed from the start.

“I wish you could stay,” he whined, his voice cracking and thick with emotion, staring down at their linked hands.

“I…”

“No. No no no… don’t say anything. I know you can’t, I wouldn’t want to keep you from your world. You’d only grow to resent me,” he finally met Dandelion’s gaze. “but… I will miss you terribly.”

Dandelion nodded. “I understand, but we have tonight, maybe even tomorrow and the next?”

“Kiss me again?” Jaskier asked, giving the poet a sad smile, the world around them still blurred from his tears.

“Always, my dear,” Dandelion breathed before closing the gap between them once more.

#the witcher #jaskilion #jaskier x dandelion #jaskier pankratz #julian alfred pankratz #dandelion #wolfie's witcher writing

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