#when the people being targeted with that behavior Are the freaks in question and it is actually very extremely normalized to act like that

[mosnet]

that post about eggs and anti-intellectualism makes me mad because if op made it about politics it could be a more potent analogy i think, but people don't know how to cook eggs because of a "lack of curiosity" or laziness that's just repackaging ableism again. sometimes people are just cognitively disabled and can't learn vital life skills thru googling them

[eskymoos]

Levi Ackerman As a Romantic Partner

Headcanons by Eskimos

Levi Ackerman is the Captain of the scouts.

Of course he will have high expectations of you. His eyes are always on the target and his strength never fails. However, he knows to keep you close during every mission. Regardless of whether his behavior betrays it, his heart beats for you. Levi would sooner put himself under a guillotine blade than let anything or anybody hurt you.

He's also the type to hold a long speech to you about how you're using your ODM gear wrong and then, when you finally get the chance to shine, he will fly past you and slash three titans at once. Is he doing it for the safety of everybody or just to impress you? That remains a mystery.

Levi Ackerman is Humanity's Strongest soldier.

He doesn't crow about his strength. Nobody questions it because it's a fact. What's more, you've seen both sides of the coin. Levi implements harsh, disciplinary methods on young, delinquent soldiers. Sometimes he even punishes them physically. You might catch the Captain in the hallway dragging somebody like a ragdoll by their hair or kicking the back of their knee to trip them and the next moment you're in his office doing your work alongside him while his fingers rest in your hair. The same fingers that just tormented somebody tangle in your hair and mess it affectionately. You know how to find comfort in his cold presence. In fact, you know he would turn the Earth inside out if something were to happen to you.

Levi Ackerman is a member of the exiled Ackerman clan.

Levi is many things and definitely not proud of his origins. He knows a thing or two about how the Ackerman clan came to be and why it's so despised. The only reason he chooses to associate himself with the name is because it reminds him of the first person he ever truly loved- his mother. Or, well, that used to be the explanation before you stepped into his life. Now he daydreams about making you an Ackerman. His partner until death does you apart. In his eyes, the shame is all gone because you're his other half and he would happily make that bond eternal.

Levi Ackerman is a hyper ultra mega clean freak.

His room? Spotless? His office? Shining clean.

Hygiene is a thing he will never ever overlook (his past can explain that mania). There's nothing more enjoyable than a deep clean and a fresh start.

However, there's a secret he will never tell anybody. Your disorganization and chaotic, aimless persona holds some charm that he never expected to find in the first place. Yes, he certaintly won't be encouraging a filthy work space but you being the polar opposite can give him butterflies and gradually drive him mad. Before you know it, his entire mind is a mess because of you and you don't even suspect a thing.

If you're a clean freak like him, then you're undeniably the soulmate he yearns for. Levi's obsession can only grow deeper if he sees a reflection of his own ideas in you.

Levi Ackerman is a murder weapon.

Having been recruited from a young age to serve Erwin, Levi is very much used to the blood bath that comes with his job. He is ruthless from the core of his beating heart. If justice stands behind violence, then he won't mind being the bad guy even if it ruins an innocent life.

Things are not so black and white behind closed doors. If you're the lucky person who owns his heart and soul, you will have the honor of receiving limitless amount of devotion from the depths of his eyes. His touch will always be gentle and his words- thoughtful. He will always be a shoulder to cry on and a shelter to stand under.

Even during more intimate moments, his focus will be entirely on you and the gentleness of his actions will make your head spin.

''Deep breaths, come on.''

''Eyes on me.''

''That's it. Just like that.''

Levi Ackerman is human. More human than people think.

There are days when things just get too much. And when the world is too loud and all burdens weigh on his shoulders, he will find you and keep you close.

Levi is confirmed to be a very emotional character. Even his silence speaks volumes when he sits beside you, arms and legs crossed and his head resting on your shoulder. He will relish you and worship these bits of tranquility that he rarely gets.

Levi Ackerman is an insomniac.

His nights are a hellish loop. Memories, work, plan-making, strategies. The man doesn't have it easy. You are the antidote for all his problems. When you sleep near him, even if you've passed out in his office, he will observe you and take care of you to the best of his capabilities. The sight of a loved one being at peace heals all his scars and suddenly he feels like he is dreaming.

''Huh-- Levi, are you alright?''

''Go to sleep,'' he'd murmur, looking into your tired eyes. ''I am here. Sleep.''

And it's true. He is always there. He always will be.

Levi Ackerman is short.

And he wishes there was a way to change that. It's an insecurity he can't mask so easily but it doesn't affect him too strongly. Truth is, building a healthy relationship with you will only fuel his desire to demonstrate other good traits. For example, if you're struggling to reach something he will walk behind you and position his cold, slender hands on your waist just to lift you up and help out. He's short, yes, but outstandingly intelligent.

Levi Ackerman? He is like no other.

[listentoace]

This will freak you out

... or at least I hope it does. Yes, I know most of the stuff I post on here is just kinky and horny talk and that's totally fine. By now, thousands of users have found their way to my blog and I'm very grateful for the support. I know I don't share much about myself, but the following will be about a more personal matter. I work in IT, or more specifically, with data. Lots of data. Being into data science, I am hyper-aware of the constant collecting and aggregating of user data. I know it's somewhat common knowledge that you're being tracked, but I want to take this opportunity to point out how bad the situation is and why privacy matters. I'll try to keep it as easy to follow as possible, so please bare with me!

The Trackers

Right now, you're on Tumblr. As you are reading this, your app connects to over a dozen servers that are not from Tumblr itself. They are from companies like Google, Amazon, Yahoo, but also lesser known companies such as Adjust and Moat. Within a single day, the Tumblr App sends about 5.000 tracking requests to the aforementioned and more companies, sharing your personal data. That's once every 15-20 seconds, regardless of whether you have the app opened or not. While I can't say exactly what data is being shared, it is likely that this is personal information that can be utilized to assume your opinions, target ads, or predict future behavior, as these are ways how companies will ultimately make money. Depending on what permissions you have granted the Tumblr app, it might also scan your gallery, your entire file system, access your call history, or your camera and microphone. By granting this permission, you are essentially giving Tumblr the keys to your phone on a complete "just trust me, bro"-basis. To me personally, that sounds scary.

But why do you use Tumblr yourself, then?

Very good and fair question! I actually am conflicted regarding using Tumblr, but I have put several security measures into place to minimize tracking potential as much as possible. While Tumblr can still see when I go online, read all the messages I send to others, know what content I view, like, comment on, and otherwise engage with, that is about it. Tumblr cannot acces my general file system, it cannot remotely access my camera and microphone, and even all the aforementioned trackers are blocked. I'll go more into this later.

"So what, I've got nothing to hide."

It's great that you think that! That's just what the big tech companies want you to believe. But answer me this: have you ever found it uncomfortable when a person next to you was reading all your texts, looking at your gallery, and just generally kept an eye on what you do on your phone at all times? Well, if a single person doing that is bothering you, how much worse must it be to know that several companies with thousands of employees spy on you for a living? Yes, they have seen your nudes, your breakup texts, your hours of Whatsapp calls with your best friend. It's literally a Big Brother Dystopia.

"Why would they be interested in me?"

I bet you have heard about the Cambridge Analytica (CA) scandal from 2018. Just to summarize: a data analytics company CA worked closely together with Facebook to target adds specifically tailored to users to manipulate them into voting for Donald Trump as President. If you are asking how specific this could be, just look at this demonstration by Signal, where their ads are extremely specific to a point where probably only a few thousand if not only hundreds of people would fit the description and just those exact people saw their ad.

"You got this ad because you're a newlywed pilates instructor and you're cartoon crazy. This ad used your location to see you're in La Jolla. You're into parenting blogs and thinking about LGBTQ adoption."

Facebook took it down within hours. But imagine you seeing this ad of a random company knowing this much and lots more about you. Note that Instagram and WhatsApp belong to Facebook/Meta, so even if you're not using Facebook directly, you're still being watched just as closely.

Knowing exactly what you like, dislike, fear, and love, strong emotions can be triggered for political or financial gain. You're into sustainability? Buy this product and we will retrieve one pound of plastic from the ocean! You are conservative and maybe slightly racist? Immigrants are taking over more and more healthcare jobs! You are scared by a possible nuclear war? Vote us for safety and peace!

This is how Cambridge Analytica managed to pull in millions of voters in the US and manipulate the election in a way that Donald Trump wouldn't have won without their manipulation. This is literally a threat to democracy. And as you know, my allegiance is to the Republic, to Democracy!

You might be aware of how right-wing and extremist parties all around the western world use very polarizing and emotional topics in their campaigns and are doing very well on social media. Often much better than more centered, leftist, or conservative parties, who tend to polarize less. This is not a coincidence. Not only is this because of customized, targeted content, but it's also because strong emotions generate more attention

Doom Scrolling & Dopamine

Social Media has had decades to perfect their dopamine lottery. The algorithms know exactly what you are into, no matter how much of a niche it might be. A good, user-oriented algorithm would show you a few posts, the best ones of the day, and then simply say "well, that's been all the good stuff. Wanna see the rest anyways?". But that's not how it works, is it? When opening an app like Instagram, TikTok, Tumblr, etc., you usually immediately land on a recent top-post. This is to give you the instant gratification and that sweet hit of dopamine.

Have you ever noticed how you had to scroll a bit before you got a post again that you really loved? That's by design. The mix of top-posts and mediocre ones is on purpose, to keep you waiting for more. You never know when the next super funny TikTok will come by. All you know is that it might be the next one. In-between top-posts, you're met with mediocre garbage and an add or two and just before it gets too boring, you hit gold again. The constant release of much higher than normal amounts of dopamine make your brain temporarily lose touch with what levels are normal. Why is it that you feel drained and tired after scrolling through social media for a few hours, even though you've done nothing but sitting around? You didn't think hard, you didn't move much, so what is it? It is the dopamine-rollercoaster that is mentally straining you. And there are tens of thousands of highly trained software engineers and corporate executives designing their platforms to keep you scrolling for as long as possible. If that little chiming sound increases your screen time by as little as 2%, it will be added. It is designed to suck your life away, chain your eyeballs to the content they want you to see, just so they can literally sell you to anyone who has the cash. You need that new gadget, visiting this country is an absolute must, this new sports competition is amazing, definitely vote for this cool party. Trust them. They know what you want. You don't know anything about them, but they know everything about you.

"What do I do now?"

Well, it is unlikely that you'll stop using social media at all. I mean, even I am still here. But there are things you can and should do for your mental and financial health, and for your own safety and protection against manipulation. Here is a list of things you should consider

Limiting social media to only a few apps you actually use and are interested in

Spend no more than 2 hours on social media per day

Meet friends irl instead of only texting

Stop sharing personal information. It is not illegal to enter false names, birthdays, etc into random sign-up forms! Protect your children as well!

Use privacy- & user-oriented platforms, such as Signal instead of WhatsApp, or Mastodon instead of Twitter. They finance themselves through volunteers and donations instead of by selling your data and lifetime to any buyer

Use privacy-oriented frontends (the visual interface and application you interact with), such as NewPipe or FreeTube instead of YouTube. You also won't be seeing any ads there

Don't buy anything impulsively. Take a week or two to think about whether you really need and want it.

Check facts, do your own research, use multiple sources, be critical

And in case you're interested in what I use:

I'm have an Android phone running /e/OS and a total of 5 computers/servers which run Linux and a Windows laptop for work. My phone block any trackers, fakes my GPS location (not VPN/IP) to where I am in Barcelona. All devices have a 24/7 encrypted VPN connection. I don't have WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or even a Google account. For personal use I have Signal, Element (Discord alternative), and Proton Mail. That's it. Every website or platform I have an account on has it's own, unique, single-use email, a randomized password and 2FA whenever possible. I use KeePass as my password manager, encrypted with a password, key file, and hardware key. I enter false data into any random form, use hardened Firefox browsers to resist fingerprinting and tracking, and back up all my data at home on a hard drive instead of using a cloud service. (Yes, there is much more)

For my content, I use Tumblr and a semi-active Discord account, Reddit accounts are banned.

For my professional life, I am forced to use Microsoft Teams and Outlook, yet I only use those on my work computer & phone.

Privacy = Freedom

Yes, I know my measures are far beyond average, but I wanted to present an example and hopefully inspire some of you to take back your online freedom and privacy! Because that's what it is! Privacy is Freedom!

I hope this inspired you and please ask any questions in the comments! This truly is a topic that means a lot to me so thank you for reading all the way through it. Please reblog to further share this important topic and encourage others to protect themselves!

- Ace

[killersnarl]

okokok as someone who is starting to collect facts to write a 9fic, i have a question

you've mentioned he sounds like corpsehusband a while back, if i remember correctly

would 9 do the iconic "whaddup baby" line if asked, for shits and giggles?

// yes cause tbh that’s just how he talks normally, he talks super casual no matter who he’s talking too. only exception is his weird biblical monologues when he’s being a freak

i have all this stuff linked in the carrd and i think ive posted this before, but i compiled some nine writing info for my friends a while back and i figured it could be useful to you guys if you haven’t seen it already :3 under the cut (there’s also my list of nine mannerisms i posted a little while ago, and i posted some notes on his accent if it’s ever relevant lol)

i think part of the difficulty that comes with writing nine is due to his characteristic unpredictability. that’s why he’s so fickle to deal with, as a character and as a person. his characterization is complex. even though he’s unpredictable in behavior, there’s some things integral to his personality that can probably help figure out what he’s going to do. the hard part is, to other people, he’s an enigma.

something you’ll find in nines behavior along the line is that it’s contradictory. humans are contradictory. he doesn’t know what he wants.

he’s very nice, i can say that. as long as you’re not a target, he’s a sweetheart. he’s nice even if he’s terrorizing you, sometimes. if they know what he is, a lot of people will have a very hard time with his attitude. they seem to think it’s all a ruse, a trap, but the truth is he’s just being honest. he doesn’t care enough to be a dick. he doesn’t care about you enough to be rude to you. being mean takes energy away from him. it’s much easier for him to be politely apathetic. it’s in his nature to be kind to others, even in his own twisted way. he shows basic regards to everyone without being super enthusiastic.

part of that shows in how he treats employees in places, i think. he rarely ever causes trouble in stores, unless it happens to be a place of target practice. he always pays for things, leaves tips, he’s not very partial to stealing. that being said, he definitely gets things for free a lot of the time. he’s huge and scary.

nine is pretty chipper for someone who hates himself and his life and thinks he’s a horrible person (he is). you’ll barely ever catch him moping around. he only mopes when he’s alone and even then he doesn’t do it much, he hates moping. he’s in constant emotional (and physical) pain and he has been for so long to the point that comfort makes him uncomfortable. he’s extremely comfortable in his suffering. he pushes away things he likes, people he likes, because he’s not used to feeling that happiness, and he doesn’t want to feel that happiness.

he’s hypocritical about it too. he hates happiness and being unhappy makes him happy. sometimes he’ll make himself happy on purpose just to make himself uncomfortable. it’s a paradox.

he does take time to entertain himself sometimes, even though he hates admitting it. he usually doesn’t even realize it’s making him happy, which is why he immediately stops what he’s doing when it finally comes to him. he’ll stick around with people if he can, people that he likes watching. he likes watching how people behave, making comments about it, irritating them about it. that’s just his way of making friends. tell him about your interests, life story, favorite memories. he loves hearing about other people because it means there’s less space for him to fill up about himself.

he doesn’t like talking about himself. if asked, he’s usually pretty cryptic. he puts his whole life simply, more simple than it is. simple so you won’t ask questions. simple so he doesn’t have to think about it too hard. some people would probably see this as being humble, and he is humble, humble to the point of hatred.

he hates himself very thoroughly but that doesn’t stop him from making jokes. he’s a flirt, as everyone knows. very into teasing people about having crushes on him (which works, because they either do or they will.) people might take this as self confidence or arrogance, it’s anything but. he just likes reactions.

i think a lot of people might see him as careless. and he is, at least a little bit. he’s not careless as in sloppy, but careless as in nonchalant. he’s extremely nonchalant. some people might even find it annoying. nothing spooks him, nothing worries him, nothing excites him. nothing you know about, at least, nothing you’ll ever know about. he’s always calm and casual, and he never wipes that lazy smile off his face.

nine likes feigning things. not because he’s dishonest, but because he likes making jokes, he likes being entertaining. you’ll never really scare him, but he’ll give you a delayed gasp and hand over his heart just to irritate you. you’ll never really make him angry, but he’ll give you a sudden outburst if he thinks you need to be scared back into your place, and quickly laugh when you jump. it never seems like he’s being serious. he’s always joking, he’s always lighthearted. you’ll know when he’s being serious.

something that was a LOT more apparent when he was an older teenager, he can be protective. he’s very aware that most people are weaker than him, he’s been aware of that for a while now, and he’s learned to take advantage of that. when he was younger he was almost like a communal bodyguard. wherever he was, nine was the protector of whoever was there, and they all knew that. he used to equally see himself as a protector and a punisher, but now he’s just a punisher. at least he thinks so. now protection is somewhat of a habit. he’ll put himself between you and a stranger, block someone off with an arm, tell you to walk on the inside of him on the sidewalk, make you walk close in front of him in unfamiliar places.

[ask-thebrothers-kaiba]

which one tends to reinforce the importance of not bottling things up?

[ Oh, this one makes me excited for some reason!

If we're solely basing this question on where I believe my muses to be, then let's dig a little further into where I'm placing them.

Canonically, Seto and Mokuba are adopted at ages 10 and ~6, respectively. I currently have Seto in the range of 20-30 (verse-dependent), and Mokuba sitting at 16-26 (also verse-dependent). That's where I stand with my personal lore, so let's say for the sake of this parenting ask, Seto is nearing his thirties and Mokuba is in his upper twenties. Makes sense for them, I think - I feel Mokuba would be more open to starting a family sooner than Seto might. Both of them are serious about this topic, but they express it in slightly different ways. This isn't the experience of ALL children, I know, but many kids experience bottling up their emotions by using anger as a cover and pushing the people they love away. That's where these ideas are flowing from. If you have a more specific idea in mind, I'm always open to suggestions!

My ideas are as follows:

MOKUBA is very uncomfortable with the idea of his child bottling up or forcing their feelings down. When he notices this behavior, he immediately starts to worry to the point he'd panic if he didn't keep himself together, because "Where is this coming from? Am I not doing enough? Have I failed them as a father? Why do they feel like they can't open up to me?". Much too familiar. Like Seto, he feels entirely responsible for this, even if it has nothing at all to do with him. He would have to settle his fears in his own mind first, perhaps with the help of his partner and a conversation with Seto about how to handle the situation, before bringing it up gently with the child. Mokuba knew if he freaked out about it, they'd never speak with him, so he holds back his anxiety for this rather-uncomfortable conversation. Ultimately, though, uncomfortable conversations were worth having, and he is successful in finding out what's going on and how he can help. Mokuba would knock on their bedroom door and wait for approval to enter - he would ask to sit next to them, and place a gentle hand on their shoulder even when they refuse to look at him. He takes a deep breath before speaking. "Hey. I know you're going through something, and I don't know what it is, but you know I'm here for you, right? I'm never going to judge you for how you feel or make you face anything you aren't ready to face... But you're still my baby, and I want to make sure you're okay. I want to do everything in my power to help you, and that means I'm not going to leave you alone. I mean, I will for a little while if you need me to, but... I'm here. Always. I love you."

SETO finds himself deeply frustrated and acutely guilty when he's met with his child's cold shoulder and cross attitude after what seemed to be a minor disagreement between them. Evidently something much deeper was going on that he hadn't caught onto in the moment. Part of him felt wounded; he had tried so hard not to reach this point with them and it happened anyway, and another, now more tender part of him wondered if he'd genetically predisposed them to this way of being - or perhaps he just wasn't trying hard enough to escape that part of himself. Perhaps it was a trait self-evident on him, like a scent that continues to linger long after a mess has been wiped away. Even in a longstanding, committed relationship Seto finds himself unable to communicate freely to his partner about concerns that directly targeted himself as the problem (from his perspective, anyway; it couldn't possibly be the child simply going through their own motions, it had to be his fault somehow. He knew this would happen.). For all the work Seto had done to self-improve and do better by others, he maintained the position that if he ever truly became the source of his loves'* pain, he would take on those burdens fully, and corrective action would quickly follow suit. Seto would ultimately keep these thoughts to himself, his partner would notice and respect his boundaries, but they'd know what this was about. After some deliberation, Seto would meet his child where they stood - he would get on their level, take their hand if they wanted, and he would be direct: "Tell me what's going on in that brain of yours. If it's my fault, I need to know. I love you, and I'm prepared to fix whatever I broke. Don't keep your feelings to yourself. Talk to me." There was no way on this earth he would allow his own child to end up the way he did, no way he would allow himself to fail them the way he'd failed Mokuba, and he'd make damn sure to take any action necessary to ensure his child lives a happier, healthier life than he and Mokuba ever had.

*"Loves" referring to the people Seto deeply cares about, not just romantic loves. ]

[vanoilette]

— 𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 , smutshot.

premise; Butters has been acting odd lately, and has been avoiding practically all of his friends, so you get up the courage. Pushing away the growing concerns and visiting him. But things don’t exactly go as planned.

disclaimers; nsfw, hand to genital contact (reader recieving), swearing, descriptions of blood

authors note; this is an old request i never got to im so sorryyy

readers pronouns; none mentioned.

You and Butters have been friends for - practically, ever. And he’s always been quite the talker. Especially around you. Though, its almost as if he’s been avoiding you as of late. And his lack of social interaction with others too had been rather concerning, if not one of your concerns. He hadn’t been getting out much during the day either which again, was not like him at all.

Butters had not even been talking to the boys, also meaning Cartman had no one gullible to target for his ridicule and “pranks”, tracing back to now him just being even more of an asshole than usual.

With the sudden change of behavior in the usually bright blonde boy, it looked you were the only one who had took notice in this. That said a lot about peoples observations. He always did so much yet got so little respect and recognition for it. Though you shook of the thought, getting through the rest of the day silently planning how to approach the matter.

Once you finally got your things in order, packing up as the class was dismissed. You headed out, hearing the echoes of your feet hit the ground through out the large cold halls that was your school. The place had been feeling more eerie lately, and you weren’t exactly sure why. Moving forward with your thoughts, which was all you were left alone with at the moment. You exited the tall building with a huff, revealing your warm aura to the cold air outside, snow covering the ground, sidewalk, most things around.

The doors closed behind you, your chest moving up and down slowly, your eyes still filled with concern, this was not like Butters at all. This wasn’t some grounding cause he had barely been to school. That was even more surprising that his parents had been okay with that.

Your gaze moved, facing the burgundy-colored house that was in front of you, the eerie aura was not just at school, it was even at his house too. It just felt as if someone was watching you, ready to pounce. Again: you shrugged off the feeling, going up to knock on the door.

The warmth that was your hand hit the door, your knuckles hitting the frame gently, looking around for a brief moment, before turning your head back up to the door. Rustling was heard from inside the house, then footsteps. The lights were on. Mumbling too.

The whole situation was kinda freaky, and you were feeling more and more uncomfortable by the minute. Second even, you were getting impatient as well. So you spoke, slightly more audible than you may have needed to be. “Butters, Are you home?” You questioned, nervously tapping your fingers against each other.

On the other end, Butters was absolutely freaking. He should’ve known this would happen, but he didn’t think anyone would notice his disappearance, then again. You always were much more observant when it came to him, his only real friend.

“A-ah shit..” he cursed under his breath, stumbling around his living room. Which would be clear and in view, but he had the curtains drawn. He really, really wanted to open the door. But he felt if he did, he’d basically pounce on you. He didn’t even know what was going on with him.

In the end, it was just too much pressure. He caved in and opened the door with a look of complete bloodlust in his eyes, and he was practically drooling with a thirst for a blood. His eyes widened and yours did too. “.. whoa dude.” You choked out, his eyes held some instability behind them, and he looked a bit dazed as he stared back at you.

“.. Hi.” Was all he replied, he felt his self control slipping more and more he stared at you, both with some sort of intent, but also .. another sort of intent. Another type of desire filled him and he wasn’t completely sure why, his breath slightly trembled as he took a breath.

Your shoulders tensed up at the look he held on his face, but you quickly regained your composure. ignoring the feeling. “I just .. uh, why haven’t you been around? You’ve been avoiding me; and everyone else.” After subsiding the feeling, you still stood the ground, holding your head high. Expecting an answer, but to no avail. Instead, all you earned was a so familiar yet cold sensation touch your arm. It was Butters. He gripped your arm and yanked you inside. Shutting the door and breathing against your neck as he leaned against you. This was so unlike Butters. And you had no idea how to deal with this situation. But you weren’t not .. not enjoying this, even a little bit, it sounded weird.

His horse breaths had caused a heat to pool to your core, squeezing your thighs together as a shiver went down your spine, feeling the frigid air that was his breath hit the side of your neck. Though it was certainly a surprise when you felt Butters unexpectedly sharp canines sink into your neck, causing you to wince and gasp quietly in pain, “Holy shit.” That was all you had to say about this, and your eyes were glued to him as his face was buried into your neck, and he wrapped arms around your waist tightly, bringing your closer to him as he held you as if you were a porcelain doll of some sorts, with such delicate fingers, he rubbed your back. The moment would be pretty intimate if he wasn’t sucking blood out of you right now - which with your thought process, you hadn’t seemed to realize until just right this second.

He whined, the taste he had craved, the one he had longed for, so long. He licked up whatever excess left the two fresh holes, cleaning up every. single. drip. It was truly hard to believe this was the same shy boy who got as nervous for just holding a girls, yet here he was. Practically grinding against your thigh as he held you close. Breathing in your scent. Before leaving a trail of gentle kisses along your collarbone and the side of your neck. And the lower part of your neck, his hand went down to your nether regions which caused a slight whimper to slip from in between your lips.

Butters seemed rather impatient, and seemed to lack functional thinking at the moment, so he practically pulled down your bottoms as his other hand gripped your thigh, the other started working on you.

For you, you were in heaven, the pleasure was overwhelming, and it was all happening so fast. But you weren’t complaining, your brain turned into mush as your hips involuntarily moved against nothing, feeling desperate, you rubbed your thighs together, He seemed to notice this. Though didn’t stop you, he was much more focused on other things, still placing gentle pecks onto your neck. He felt a lot more stable, in a way now that he had finally gotten the taste he’d longed for so long.

Who knew you just wanting to check up on him would’ve turned into, this.

[wickedsrest-rp]

Name: Hazel Braum Species: Human (Non-powered) Occupation: Crime Scene Photographer Age: 22 Years Old Played By: Lulu Face Claim: Ashley Moore

"If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you."

TW: Domestic abuse, homelessness, grooming, substance abuse, overdose

Hazel’s childhood wasn’t an easy one. Coming from a young mom and an emotionally underdeveloped father, she got to see grown-up problems firsthand at a young age. Screaming matches and household items being thrown around, the girl knew when to hide by sensing the mood in the environment. When she was thirteen years old her parents decided to permanently split, and although the endless nights of fights in the background had stopped, her new life came with couch hopping with her mom. Soon, social services got involved and sent Hazel to live with her father despite her mother’s worries about his abusive behaviors in the past.

Hazel had always been terrified of her father, for good reason. It seemed like every time he was around something bad happened, and her time living with him was no different. They argued over banalities like what she wore to school or if a boy had left a message for her on the phone. He was constantly putting her down verbally, making horrible comments about her mental capabilities and appearance, the same way he used to with her mom. Hazel started to spend less time at the house and more time outside, which came with bad influences making their way into her life.

Although she never stopped meeting with her mom, an ache never stopped in Hazel’s heart for her. The feeling of helplessness drained her emotionally, and no matter how much her mom reassured her, nothing ever took the guilt pains away. At sixteen, Hazel started making some money by venturing into the streets, all of which she gave to her mom, trying to help her out of the homelessness cycle. However, despite being on the other end of it, this didn’t sit right with her. She sat down with Hazel’s father demanding he used a harsher hand on Hazel so she would stop turning to shady businesses, which only resulted in more rebellious behavior from her.

Time went by and not even her mother’s memory would make Hazel’s head turn. At eighteen she met a man that introduced her to the fast life of partying, drugs, and sex with the promise that he would help her mom come out of the streets. With time, the target started getting blurry and she got lost in the middle of it.

One night at one of those events her new boyfriend was famous for hosting, Hazel went into the bathroom with a group of people and didn’t make it out. Those she was with freaked out and left her body in the tub to be found, which was later on into the night by her boyfriend. With a dead girlfriend in a house full of illicit activity, he made the choice to dump her body twenty miles out of the city in a forest on the side of the highway, hoping it would never be found and linked to him.

One year later, Hazel awoke in the middle of a workday, with no recollection as to how she got there, and ever since then she’s been trying to find an answer to her many questions: what is she doing in Wicked’s Rest? How did she get there? And most importantly, who is she and what’s her story.

Character Facts:

Personality: Observant, optimistic, resourceful, anxious, conflicted, gullible

She’s originally from Baltimore and that’s where she was when she died. Although she has no clue as to how or why she’s in Wicked’s Rest, she believes she’s in town for a reason she has yet to discover.

She’s been fascinated with photography ever since she came across a digital camera in her parent’s house at around eight years old. She would take pictures of the backyard, afternoons at the park with her childhood friends, and even her mom cooking. She thinks this is an old part of herself that came through when she signed up for the fastest photography job she could find when she first got to Wicked’s Rest.

She thinks she doesn’t remember at least a year of her life after getting brought back. She has an idea of how long it’s been by looking at some paperwork from her job where her name started to get mentioned around six months back.

She’s usually quiet but her mind is going a hundred miles per hour. Hazel used to be outgoing with a fearless personality, but she’s a shell of what she used to be now. She’s constantly questioning reality and if it’s really happening. Ever since she came back she’s turned into a very observant person, but part of it is due to how scared she is most of the time.

[drawingconclusions]

HELLO AGAIN

It seems every time I considered getting back on here to post, something else would come up in current events that I wanted to pause & evaluate first. But it's well past time to ruffle some feathers again.

Before beginning, I believe people should get a glimpse of how the government uses taxpayer money. I've previously talked about the overreach of various agencies in my Parameters of Government posts, and their unbelievable behavior continues. Since my last major post on this subject, I recall how I was testing a new light, and within minutes the military helicopter showed up (characterized by low pitch rotors) to see what was going on and shortly afterwards the law enforcement helicopter came around as well (marked by a much higher pitched sound). Sometimes the powers that be freak out when I have an extended phone conversation in Spanish, and if I receive an ordered package in the mail, it's all hands on deck with military radar planes trailing me, etc.! And it's pretty clear they're using some types of audio surveillance, as one night the dishwasher rack slipped out of place noisily, and within moments the military helicopter showed up to conduct their typical surveillance. I could go on and on, but here's just a snippet of the interesting behavior of one of the government surveillance planes on the evening of October 5, 2023. I decided to jot down the time of every fly-by they conducted over the span of three hours. Sure, I had purposely set my clock a few minutes fast that day, but I think you get the idea: 8:07pm 8:10pm 8:13pm 8:16pm 8:19pm 8:24pm 8:27pm 8:29pm 8:32pm 9:22pm 9:33pm 9:40pm 9:43pm 9:46pm 9:54pm 10:00pm 10:04pm 10:06pm 10:08pm 10:10pm 10:13pm 10:15pm 10:17pm 10:18pm 10:20pm 10:22pm 10:25pm 10:26pm 10:29pm 10:32pm 10:34pm 10:36pm 10:38pm 10:46pm 10:49pm 10:52pm 10:54pm 11:00pm 11:07pm

I had no idea the U.S. government feels so threatened by retro fashions! (…which I happened to be working on that evening.) You'll notice there are a few gaps in the surveillance plane's fly-by intervals. I chalk it up to ever-crucial donut runs by the law enforcement involved. They have to stay carb-loaded while spying on America's citizenry!

But on a more serious note, I find it interesting how for years I've warned about how left-leaning partisans have entrenched themselves in almost every aspect of government. These partisan activists despise Constitutionally-protected rights such as freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom of the press (..speaking of which, there used to be a time in America when the rights of journalists were respected. But now a questionable judge is demanding that a true journalist like Catherine Herridge reveal her sources for a past story, at the risk of being fined $5,000 per day for violating such an order. What gives?!) And yet the status quo has continued unchanged, even when Republicans are elected to local, state, or national positions. In the past year, we've seen some Republicans huffing & puffing about the targeted criminal prosecutions against former President Trump, exclaiming that if the "deep state" can do it to him, they can do it to us. All of a sudden, it's a crucial concern. Well, just to inform you, a lot of citizens here in America have already been experiencing the authoritarian reach of government for years now. Several years.

Listen, any reasonable person can recognize that many of the prosecutions against Trump are politically motivated attempts to smear and stymie him in an election year, especially when some infamous Democrats could be charged with the same accusations and yet they remain unscathed. But Ron DeSantis was right. Trump didn't clean out the deep state when he was in office, he didn't fire Fauci, etc.,. Maybe one of the reasons Republicans keep losing at the ballot box is because often voters don't see much of an eventual difference between Republicans and Democrats (..cue Republican Governor Mike DeWine). Once some conservatives rise to power, they morph into a substance with a queasy consistency, easily manipulated and often choosing the path of least resistance.

Again, I'm not looking for a rescue here. I'm sure that for the time being, local police, FBI, military, etc. will continue their behavior and will continue wasting untold millions of dollars. Perhaps one day I'll submit hundreds of Freedom of Information Requests and make all their names public. Or maybe I'll publish an illustrated scrapbook depicting all their antics in full-color and rhyming verse. But my point is, people are looking for candidates who will truly bring about positive change for their families, their neighborhoods, and for this country. Would Nikki Haley truly effect such change? I'm not convinced she would. What about President Biden? We've already seen his administration's obsession with promoting a woke agenda, their love of open borders which continues to allow fentanyl to stream into our neighborhoods, and their botched foreign policy strategies across the board. (Is it any wonder the Biden administration seems intent on appearing to "buy" votes with their insistence on doling out loan forgiveness subsidies?) And what about Trump? Can he be presidential on a consistent basis and would he truly seek the benefit of the people or is he becoming consumed by bitterness & thoughts of revenge? Is anyone out there up to the task of really leading America with no thought for personal gain and advancement?

[dzpenumbra]

3/28/23

Welp, sleep is still fucked. Got another 5 hours of sleep, more nightmares, about my family this time. Distance brings a clarity - both consciously and subconsciously - that... is haunting and upsetting, but helps put my life into perspective.

I'm sure this is actually a pretty common phenomenon I've encountered. Where you're raised in an unhealthy environment, but pretty much all of the people you end up around either have the same kind of family problems or "worse"? I don't know if that's the right way to put it. Like... there was this odd comfort... I guess sorta complacency... in that my family was "normal", or even "above par". And I would downplay, overlook and normalize so many extremely unhealthy behaviors since I saw those traits in other families as well. It makes me question whether I even... at a personal level... even found the ways I was treated "wrong" or "unfair". My memory doesn't really go back that far with clarity. Since I was branded the "rebel", I'm guessing I definitely did, and I likely made it very vocally clear that I did not approve of how things were being run. But that ended very quickly.

It just really depresses me, it takes the wind out of my sails. It makes the world around look so fucking dark. I see people yelling at dogs right in their face and scolding them for not doing anything wrong - which was a theme in the dream - and... children as well. I see people just being really... aggressive towards people they claim to appreciate and support, the second they don't get what they want. I see people using each other like objects constantly. I see zombie-like addicts everywhere. It overwhelms me, it makes it hard to look past.

Maybe I just keep looking in the wrong places, I guess. Or maybe when you walk into a room and there are 10 nice people and one gigantic tiger with blood dripping from its fangs, you... kinda remember the tiger and not the nice people. Unfortunately.

I keep getting distracted with tangential thoughts, I guess sleep deprivation is kinda fucking with me a bit. That hasn't happened since I used to get high and write. Speaking of... I'm thinking of taking my tincture tonight in a low dose to try to help with sleep. That said... the last time I got high before bed was with the tincture, and I woke up halfway through a sleep cycle and started freaking out because I was like... peaking. That's why I liked smoking, it lasts like half the duration, so if I don't get like... full sleep, I don't wake up and start freaking out because I'm still high. So... obviously I still have some hesitations. But for fuck's sake, it's literally the only thing I have and that shit was some of the best sleep I've ever gotten.

Anxiety. That's the big one. Depression is creeping up, yeah, it's there. But anxiety is fucking... it's getting me. And the big bad wolf, as I've said so many times... is the fear of Fear. The fear of Fear itself. I'm afraid that I'm going to get afraid and something bad is going to happen because of that. The extra layer is like an emotional feedback loop that stops me from even looking at what bad I think is going to happen. It's annoying as fuck. Like... sensation = fear, target of sensation = ...fear. Yep, confirmed that this is a bad thing, empirically accurate that this should be avoided. It's like a fucking cheat code for anxiety to get past my confirmation checks. And what big bad thing am I trying to prevent? Emotional distress, I guess? Reliving trauma? Waking nightmare kinda shit? That's about it. Like I'm not already going through that... XD

But my weed freakouts can really be that bad. They can really be that freaky. And I don't really have any viable tools for bringing myself out of them, and I have to ride them out alone, so... I ended up deciding not smoking while going through all the shit I'm going through was better than risking some horror movie-level freakout. My brain is really good at storytelling, I love stories, imagery, symbolism, stuff like that. That whole artist thing. When Phobos gets his hands on that steering wheel, it gets pretty fucking spooky pretty quick. I've had more than a few moments of feeling literal apocalyptic doom, both on a personal scale and a global scale. And that feeling... just gonna be brave enough to say... I'm not a fan, personally. Not my favorite way to spend a Tuesday morning at 8AM after 4 days of sleeping like shit.

I actually got to bed at a decent hour last night, and woke up... around 8. I journaled my dream (yay! <pats self on back>), noticed the light was... not afternoon light out my windows... tried to fall back asleep for a little bit but it just... wasn't really happening. So I just got up. After yoga and chilling for a bit, I ended up napping in the comfy chair for about 2 more hours, but I was still exhausted the rest of the day. So... skatepark got called off. BUT. I called the health center, and left a message with a receptionist for their supervisor for my doctor transfer, got the gears turning on that. I set up my power bill autopay. I learned how to edit the config files for the desire path mod and turned off the "path repair" function that I think was fucking up the path forming. I ordered a new mouse and keyboard because my mouse has been acting all fucky... that mouse is too damn small anyway and has been fucking up my right wrist for years now. And my keyboard is some cheap thing that came with a Dell PC back in like... I honestly don't know, it's so old that the keys and place where my right wrist touch the keyboard are glossy and smooth from erosion. At least 10 years old, I'd say. It was a good investment.

I washed my sheets and towels. I got groceries delivered. I took my recycling up to the second floor and took my trash out. I cooked a pizza. I did more desire path runs, up to 50 runs total now.

So even though it was a rough day and I was running on fumes, I got a ton done. And... I don't even feel good about it. Because I'm really depressed. -_-

My therapist said something really interesting, that I'm sure I've shared before, but it definitely bears repeating. All mental health disorders derive from a natural function that, when in order, is beneficial - anxiety, ocd, even schizotypal disorders and shit - but the one that serves no beneficial purpose from an evolutionary standpoint... is depression. Depression is just like you sucking the life out of yourself. It just beats you up, says cruel things to you and takes things away from you. Like a fucking schoolyard bully.

I want to treat myself. And... I did. I got ice cream, and snickers ice cream bars. I'm just...

Okay, I'm gonna level here. And I shared this with my sister-in-law and she like... kinda mocked me? A bit? Which was actually kinda rude and insensitive, but like... I guess she had a bad day at work or something, whatever. But I... have always had very good "metabolism". Whatever it was. Most likely trauma and stress and cigarettes and constantly tensing muscles and regularly unknowingly putting myself into ketosis through only eating one or two meals a day. A combination of all the above, most likely. But I've always been slender and somewhat toned. More on the underweight side, not a lot of muscle mass, but... yeah. Skinny. And now... ever since I got off meds and quit smoking? I've started to actually put on weight for the first time in my life, in my mid-30's. In my ass and my sides and stomach. (That's where my sister-in-law mocked me, like "oh boo hoo, some of us have struggled with that our entire lives..") And... I feel inept, honestly. It just completely blindsided me. Like the doctors weighed me when I was in the office a few months ago and I was just like... blown away at the number they said. I'm getting my core strength back which is good, but... to get back to the point of all this... for the first time in my life I'm actually trying to be very mindful of my diet. And my only real... vices... left are culinary vices. Sugar being the most vile of them all.

Let's be real here. When you look at it on paper, for someone who gets addicted to habits, but has no real problems breaking biophysical addictions (trust me, I've done my fair share of detoxing)... would it be worse or better for my indulgence of choice to be sugar rather than wine? In all honesty? I really don't know anymore. I just... struggle to drink without smokes to accompany it, honestly. Something about the really wet mouth-feel, and then the swaying buzz of smoking while drinking on a porch or a leaning against a wall or collapsing into a comfortable chair or something. That combination I really do miss. Drinking a cider and leaning against my handrail on my deck in the pitch dark at night, and smoking a cigarette and listening to the crickets chorus and the frogs croak. But it just doesn't hit the same without the smoke. And that... upsets me. Because... quitting smoking was one of my greatest uncelebrated accomplishments. It's been about a year and 4 months now.

So now, I have about 1/4 oz of weed that... if I smoke it... there's like a 65% chance I'm going to start spiraling into panic attacks. Alone, with no one to talk me down. I can get booze, but all booze does is make me want to smoke cigarettes. I can get cigarettes, but I smoked them for about 18 years and... I don't know, I think I feel better without them. And, given those choices? I've been going with fuckin ice cream, dogg. Chocolate chip cookies and chocolate milkshakes and vanilla sundaes and shit like that. In winter/early spring, my most difficult months, I have started to indulge in that regularly. But, if it makes it any better, by the time summer hits... I tend to be outdoors every single day exercising and lean towards eating much healthier.

So yeah, depression management has been tough. Video games are usually my go-to to scratch that itch, but... Valheim has been feeling a bit grindy. Minecraft is literally work, running back and forth, screenshotting, lining up screenshots, then tracing the paths... it's fucking work. Like, literally, it's an art project. Per Aspera... kinda took a backseat. It, too, got more grindy than fun, but I might revisit it. So... Session has come back out, and it scratched the itch a little bit today.

So, yeah... since I kicked some fuckin ass today, I'm going to get another ice cream bar, because fuck it. And I want to keep this sleep momentum, so I'm going to head to bed promptly. Fingers crossed for the skatepark tomorrow!

[valiantxunion]

Yuri couldn’t hold back the laugh as both younger versions of himself practically took a turn to step in and tear into Leblanc. Judging by how badly he hated the knights back when he was younger, he really couldn’t blame them for their behavior and it made it that much funnier when Leblanc flinched back, almost defensively. Placing a hand on his hip, Yuri shot a cocky grin over to Leblanc. “Well, you heard the kids. Run along now. I’m sure the Commandant isn’t paying you to come and bug me every time I come into town.”

Leblanc was, understandably, caught off guard by all of this as he blinked a few times, even moving to rub gloved hands over his eyes as he glanced over the adult, the teen, the child and then back to the adult. “...Perhaps not. But I FIRMLY believe he would be VERY interested to know why there are currently two of you?! Or… Three?” He looks down to the youngest for a moment, eyes darting back to the adult and then back. Okay, he definitely saw the resemblance. “Explain this madness, Yuri–!!”

“Alright, alright, just settle down! You're freaking them out and people are gonna start staring.” Yuri quickly waved Leblanc down, trying to stop the man from causing a scene. As much as he would have loved to watch his younger selves dig into Leblanc some more, he decided to put a stop to everything before it got a bit out of hand. “It’s fine, you two. I know he doesn’t seem like it but he’s one of the better ones.”

Leblanc sputtered, shooting a quick glare to Yuri. “PARDON ME?!”

Yuri simply continued. “His captain is a good friend of mine. They’re not the kind of knights that would treat someone with prejudice. Mostly. I seem to be the exception.” Despite the fact that he’s admitting to being targeted by Leblanc, it’s clear that he doesn’t seem to harbor much anger towards the knight. If anything, he seems rather amused.

Then, with a softening grin, he turns fully to both Yuris, moving to pat the teen on the shoulder and to ruffle the youngest’s hair. “I know it’s hard to believe but the knights aren’t so bad anymore. I know you're worried but I'm not going to let anyone hurt you guys. There are still a few useless ones and even fewer bad ones but the new Commandant is working to weed them out. He’s making this place better. Not just for the Noble and Public Quarter, but for the Lower Quarter too.”

Yuri smiles fondly as he assures them, knowing that if they knew, they would likely be more at ease. Maybe even proud. They should be! Yuri couldn’t even imagine how he would feel if he learned that young, grumpy little Flynn Scifo had soared so high into the ranks in such a little time. But he was also a little worried about telling them at the same time. Would there be repercussions if he explained? What questions would follow after? Yuri was never good at this kind of thing.

“Aren’t you going to explain what’s going on?” Leblanc asked as he finally lowered his tone, having probably realized that running around yelling his head off was probably freaking out the kids. “What is this? Surely you haven’t had two younger brothers this entire time!”

“No, though I wish it were that simple. They just kinda… appeared today. I haven’t been with them for too long myself. We were just sending a letter to Rita and investigating the area before you came in shouting like a crazy person.” Yuri crossed his arms, watching as Leblanc grimaced slightly at that.

“...I deeply apologize for that.” Leblanc muttered, directing it more towards the children rather than at Yuri himself. “Well, will you be reporting this to the Commandant as well? I'm sure he'd like to hear that you're back in town and would also like to know about... this situation.”

Yuri’s face immediately falls, looking rather uncertain. “... I dunno about that one…”

The youngest nodded at Yuri's question. "Uh-huh. Everything was normal and then when I came back from the slope, everything got all weird..." He gave Repede a pat on the head as he looked around, trying to find something familiar when they reached the top. It looked... different now. "This isn't what this area looked like when I came down from it..." Similar, but not... quite the same.

As the teen checked around by visuals, it was the same for him. Same area overall, but things were slightly different here and there. "Yeah... I don't recognize some stuff up here though, so I'm pretty sure this isn't either of our Public Quarter... I would recognize it from his since that would be my past, and it doesn't look like that either." New people that weren't here when he was up here earlier, too. Definitely none of the others from the orphanage, either.

At least to the teen, it seemed more likely that the slope was just the location of the event and probably wasn't the actual cause. Whatever it was he assumed wasn't the slope's fault, but that someone or something had caused it to happen in that spot. Not a coincidence, but not a natural cause either.

When the knight stopped by though, knowing their name no less, the two of them froze uncomfortably. Since this was from their eldest self's time, he wouldn't have meant them and it made sense that a knight wouldn't just know the full name of a random citizen of the Lower Quarter, but hearing them be called after like that still made them tense up. It was almost wild to them how calmly Yuri handled it.

For just the moment of Yuri trying to block them, they were grateful. It may not have been for the same reason, but being noticed by knights at all was usually bad news. Neither of them had good experiences for the most part. Some good knights here and there in the bunch, but they were rare. This one was also... loud and... could have minded his own business, surely.

But then the colorful orange soldier looked at them and was staring. Of course the child was the first to react in disgust, as opposed to his uncomfortably confused teen self. "...Why is there an old man knight staring at us like that?" It was even a little creepy how familiar he was acting with a citizen! So it was either this or just being an asshole? What on earth was in a knight's job description?!

While the youngest of them was focused more on the knight himself, the teen was more confused by how casual his older self acted. How he seemed to know the commandant personally. Why would this man stop Yuri specifically of all people wandering around this area? Plenty of people were loitering. That was... kind of allowed in this area. Who was he to stop a particular person?

Not that he wasn't used to it, and knights always seemed to look down on people just from being from the Lower Quarter. He just... couldn't figure out why the vibe wasn't exactly like that. It was still uncomfortable for him at least, but if the adult of them wasn't looking to wring the neck of the man, Yuri would try to just stay calm and not throw him the dirtiest look he could manage.

Unfortunately the teen's voice wasn't far off from their adult self's... so if the man's eyes could actually fall out of his head, they might. Well, maybe not so unfortunately. Then maybe he would stop giving the boys this look. "Can you get out of our way now? We're in the middle of discussing something. I'm sure you have some business to take care of somewhere or another. Maybe check on the Lower Quarter for a change and make sure they're healthy."

He didn't know this knight, but he was a knight plain and simple. As much as he wanted to bury his feelings about them, it was a bit difficult when one had run right up to them and stopped Yuri in his tracks. Surely there were better things he could be doing and fulfilling an actual duty of his.

[skin-slave]

Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.

Grooming Can Look Like:

1. "Is that your real name? I don't really like to call people by their usernames."

Asking for personal information right away - It gives a false sense of intimacy and can be used later to threaten or blackmail.

2. "I see you like Band. My parents hate them. 😂 Do your parents know your music tastes?"

Segueing quickly into private life, sometimes asking invasive questions about home, friends, family, etc - It tells them whether or not a person is isolated, unhappy, self-destructive, unsupervised, etc. The more vulnerable a person is, the more successful grooming can be.

3. "I like your fan art. Do you do nsfw? Nothing crazy, just flirty..."

Bringing up sexuality or other adult subjects in a general way - It pushes the person's boundaries gently, getting them to talk about nsfw things in a way that feels nonthreatening.

4. "That post made a good point. I would never guess you're 14. You're really mature and well-spoken."

Describing the person as mature, smart, wise, resourceful, street-smart, etc - It's flattering, and it gives the illusion of equality and respect in their interactions.

5. "People hate what they don't understand. You're just so unique. I get it."

Reinforcing that the person is unique, misunderstood, above others, etc - It increases isolation and forms a sense of dependance on the groomer.

6. "Omg look at this guy's outfit! It's so hot! You know, you could totally rock something like this!"

Sexualizing the person in flattering ways - It feels like a compliment and edges farther past typical boundaries, normalizing more and more sexual interactions.

7. "That guy was out of line. 😤 I couldn't help it, I messaged him and told him if he doesn't leave you alone I'll doxx him. He won't be back. He knows I'll do it. Please don't be mad, I just hate when people mess with my friends... "

Defending the person, often inappropriately - It's a show of devotion to the person, a display of the potential for aggression that serves to nudge boundaries, and can be used to threaten or coerce later.

8. "I'm totally with you on Ship X. It's so bigoted to break up Ship Y like that. We ought to try to get those freaks banned."

Creating an other to unify against, often inappropriately - It creates a sense of intimacy and serves as a way to push boundaries by encouraging inappropriate behavior.

9. "Idk why you let her waste ur time. U don't need phoneys like that. You have me!!! 😂"

Discouraging competing relationships - It increases isolation, vulnerability and dependence.

10. "Listen, don't worry about your phone bill. I got it. Sent it thru your Kofi, plus a little extra. You deserve it."

Giving gifts, money, or paying bills - It creates a sense of intimacy, and possibly financial dependence. And it can be used as a source of guilt.

11. "Where are you??? Tell whoever you're with that I miss my bff!!!!!"

Checking in, keeping tabs, tracking or asking for updates - It diverts the person's attention onto the groomer, interrupts their social life to further isolate, and creates a pattern of guilt and responsibility for the groomer's feelings.

12. "I can't believe you'd abandon me like this. You know I have depression. Are you trying to make me suicidal? The least you could do is give me a couple weeks to find a new therapist. I'm gonna need one now."

Threatening to harm themselves, or implying that they might if contact ends - It plays on that sense of guilt and responsibility and can be used long after abuse has happened, to prevent disclosure.

Grooming doesn't happen by accident. By definition, it's deliberate. When someone begins grooming, they have already decided to abuse. From that point on, interaction has one goal. It creates a situation where the person being targeted has conflicting emotions about what's happening, no one they trust to give advice, and no way to break out without being the bad guy.

The setup - the grooming behaviors themselves - vary. One abuser might use many approaches, and might even change methods if a target isn't receptive. I think we can all agree that guilt-tripping and displays of aggression aren't healthy under any circumstances, but many common behaviors are things that can happen outside of grooming, in other contexts, and be ok. (An old friend might give generous gifts purely out of friendship, but someone who's practically a stranger, giving generous gifts, acting like an old friend, is potentially predatory.) That's why it can be so hard to see. We can't simply ban their tools or latch onto keywords. There are no elements that are always present. There's no set pattern. There are few flags that are always red. It's not that simple.

The only reliable and realistic way to keep vulnerable ppl safe is to teach them to recognize potential grooming by looking at the entirety of the situation, to trust their feelings, and to speak up.

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

may 28, 2021 2:30 p.m. newcrest counseling center

(tw for violence mention)

[grant] i guess, um...on a related note…

[margot] yes! what are you thinking?

[grant] every time i've talked to her since the night she first told me about all this has been a disaster. we’ve tried talking about it or just talking to each other and...it’s a hot mess.

[margot] in what way?

[grant] just the way she treats me. i already mentioned it earlier but she got mad when i expressed being upset after she broke the news to me. since then, it’s like she’s chasing me around trying to catch me in a conversation to force me to change my mind about things. she's very aggressive about it and acts like she wants me to just gloss over everything and forget it all happened.

[margot] what happened the first time when you were expressing your feelings?

[grant] i don't want to relive the whole thing but let's just say that i told her i was not happy with her and couldn't believe what she did. then i asked if i could leave to be alone for a while and she got, like, outrageously angry.

[grant] and then she, um...she hit me.

[margot] she assaulted you?

[grant] yes.

[grant] she apologized later. and i guess she seemed upset with herself over it. i don’t remember. i blocked it out. a lot of it. i remember everything up to her hitting me and then everything is super fuzzy after that.

[grant] but an apology isn’t really enough. like no, you hit me. and not only did you hit me but you did that totally with the full knowledge that i was physically abused as a child. that shit was targeted. she knew it would freak me out! sorry doesn’t cut it, even if she did feel bad, and it doesn't even matter because her apology was still, you know, like she was trying to convince me to forget it. you know, there’s a reason i refused to break up with her until it got to be too much. i was afraid of her.

[grant] but that’s a different thing. i stood up myself in the end so whatever. i brought this up because i don’t know, i guess because i feel like i didn't get any decent answers out of her ever but i'm also really not sure why she’s acting like this. i've never seen her like this at all. she can be mean but not like this. this is different. i don't understand the cheating and i don't understand all this.

[margot] i think you may have answered your own question.

[margot] it’s very possible she’s actually upset with herself about the cheating and is lashing out to protect herself. and maybe she’s also desperately trying to save the relationship, even if her approach is deeply disturbing. but no matter what her reasoning is, it will never excuse her behavior and i'm horrified to hear she resorted to physical violence. that’s terrible and i am so sorry you experienced that.

[margot] is she still living with you? because–

[grant] i don’t think she’d do it again, if you’re worried about my safety. i really don’t. she’s done some crazy stuff recently but i just can’t see her doing that a second time. she won’t do it after i stood up to her. i know she acted that way because she knows i'm a pushover and she guessed she could get her way with me. i think i proved her wrong.

[grant] but for now, she is still at the house. she said she’d be gone in a few weeks once she got things taken care of. i know if i told like 99% of my friends and family that i didn’t kick her out, they’d think i was delusional, but i'm just not that kind of person. maybe that’s me being a literal doormat in the end anyway but i don’t know. it would be cruel to do that. so what if she’s treated me like shit the last two weeks? i'm not going to stoop to the same level or act like her or whatever. i'm not going to throw her out of the house when she doesn’t have anywhere to go and kind of doesn’t know a single person here in the state of michigan who isn’t my relative or my friend. her people are in another country. she’d be homeless or in a hotel and that’s…

[grant] you know, i still love her. that’s probably obvious. i do love her. i love her enough that i'm completely heartbroken over our relationship even though she’s done everything in the world to run me off. she fucked me over, ruined our relationship all by herself...but i still love her. i didn’t propose to her for nothing. i didn’t get excited about our future and about moving in together for nothing. loving her was something i wanted. and i know enough about her to believe she’s not an evil person. i have zero empathy for my mom but i have it for päivi because i know what the better side of her is like. i also think this version of her right now isn’t her at all. i don’t know what it is but it isn’t her. and, um, sue me, i guess, but i'm not trying to give people a real taste of their own medicine. i want her out of my life immediately so i can heal and move on with life the best i can but i don’t want to ruin her life or hurt her.

[grant] and i'm sure this sounds like i'm completely spineless and a raging idiot and you’d probably disagree with me for saying all this but this is what me making my own decisions looks like. i do want her gone. i will never forgive her. i'm not making excuses for her or letting her get away with cheating and mistreatment. i'm still afraid of her and i don't even know if i can explain how much it hurts to have been betrayed like this. but for my own sake, i'm being as cordial as possible. i don’t want to see her, i don’t want to talk to her, but yelling at her and cutting her out was enough. it doesn’t bring me any joy to lash out at her or get revenge. i just want this to end.

[bannanafanta]

My opinion is still the same. They're using the exact damn information as was used in the previous doc (actually less, leaving out parts) that were used to defend Bug and Java previously. It repeats the same claims, doesn't show how anything was forced, makes Murciè for real look worse in all honesty.

Same freaking talking points just twisted to somehow fit their narrative. All it does is more clearly state that this kid who was doing nsfw shit, shows them as being aggressive towards their "fps" needing to follow their nsfw account, showing aggressions towards anyone who didn't believe them, ect.

I see no asking for pictures of this person, no sexual comments directed towards the minor themselves, they keep referencing vc chats that NEITHER party provided with a "just trust me bro" explanation. There's no threats of "well if you don't do this then I'm gonna [generic threat idk expose you online?]", and the original doc (made by Java/Bug - available to the entire public) shows more chat logs than this one.

-

All that was added to this doc was Bug and Java liking comments that supported them on their Tiktok and Bug's original statements about being angry that someone they thought was their friend was calling them a p*do along with other things. Bug didn't curse, was logical in their explanation, and of all things was telling the truth.

And even their new thread was an apology for allowing someone who's literally one year away from being an adult be allowed to express their interests in adult subjects through their ocs and share adult art. Then for Java there was a single comment about pulling someone's tie being used as 'proof', and a censored picture from Murciè which could of been a literal meme for all I know.

All of these people despite being so close in age are all still teenagers and probably still live with their parents. They's gonna act like teenagers, they's gonna get mad at each other and make impulsive decisions. But that's no damn excuse to call someone a p*do and all this other shit.

-

THE ONLY HARRASSMENT that was happening was from those 6 accounts trying to make fun of a serious allegation. It was completely distasteful, and had there been evidence of an actual predatory offence here, they could have been jailed for making those accounts.

Everything else they was calling harassment was people not believing the 'trust me bro' explanations w/ no evidence. They was asking questions and Murciè was crying wolf over it.

-

Let's not forget that Murciè is the same person who send literal S*lf H*rm to someone who was defending their own opinions, and was trying to get Murciè's side of the story (trying to get him to show some level of proof that showed Java/Bug targeting them with sexual comments. AKA directing sexual comments or making passes at Murciè themselves). Also the SH wasn't even theirs, it was someone else's/fake.

There's also this:

Which this was posted 20 days before they even asked anyone about following or even making the account.

Idk how they's even allowed to try using their mental illness as an excuse either when's they's supposed to be on meds for that. FR if I went around acting like some privileged asshole and used my autism as an excuse, ya'll know damn well people be tearing me to shreds or laughing about how weak of a damn excuse that is.

@artsybug0 please just cut off people at this point, because if they can't see it, it's hopeless for them. Ain't ya'lls faults that some people got the IQ of a toaster strudel. Just don't ever think that being 17 is old enough to make NSFW bc they's your friend, ppl with fr stab you in the back calling you a p*do over anything.

And if you and Java wanna use this thread to help you (if you think it will help) then you two go right ahead.

-

I don't see any predatory behavior, I see one pushy teenager (Murciè) trying to tear down two artists cause they was mad over something. All I see is ONE artist allowing someone a year from being an adult engage on talking about NSFW topics regarding fictional characters with them. And that was shown BY THE ARTIST in question and admitted by the artist, and they apologized for it.

Murciè started the conversations, Murciè was using all caps basically screaming for attention these artists to follow the NSFW account they were already planning on making before asking them, and they literally backhanded themselves in the face by saying they was getting prayed on and was being pressured.

There was no coercement, there was no sexual comments, questions, or statements were ever directed towards Murciè.

Please read the doc on mine and javas side of the accusations. We recommend you read it in the google doc app and on mobile for the best quality.

[doberbutts]

-very much a white anon-

I initially didn't question all the.... vitriol... surrounding RoP. I stopped watching jrrt adaptations after the 1st hobbit movie. The hobbit was one of my favourite books as a kid - mum read it to me when I was 5 - and I didn't care for the 'money grab' as I saw it in splitting that short book into 3 movies. And I didn't like the depiction of the elves.

ANYway. Thank you, you made me question and realize that I had just accepted other people's opinions on RoP without questioning their motives. I'm still not going to watch it... but that's because I don't want to, not because I think its... evil or whatever. I will not be ridiculing anyone who watches it/wants to watch it/loves it/likes it/etc.

Just because something isn't for me, doesn't mean it isn't for anyone. I can see myself in other shows that have received review bombing and targeted hate -white but marginalized in other ways- so I will not watch RoP but do my best to support those who do. heck I'd even help someone pirate it if they wanted me to.

you deserve better than to be someone I learn about freaking race in a tv show from - came for the dog content after all. but thank you for being right. like. all the time.

Believe it or not there was vitriol for LOTR and the Hobbit too but not nearly to this level for... some reason...

Anyway, truly, if you don't want to watch it then don't watch it. But if you don't want to watch it specifically because of the vitriol? Then personally I think you should experience something before you decide you don't like it. Because you shouldn't let other people decide for you what's okay to like or not like, and because you should make your own decisions rather than allow others to have that influence over you.

Especially when it's because of some hate campaign stirred up by the worst of society because there was a marginalized character on screen for 5 minutes.

Really at this point I am inherently suspicious of vitriolic hate from something someone hasn't experienced yet, and calls for review-bombing while also saying to boycott, and hideous amounts of nitpicking and faultfinding when there's plenty of flawed media to go around. No one has to like anything. But this particular behavior is a common go-to for those who want to have a tantrum rather than because they want to actually engage in a good-faith analysis.

Also I'm only right probably 50% of the time I just feel Very Strongly about things.

[wickedsrest-rp]

Name: Lilian Ballard Species: Medium (Exorcist) Occupation: Cashier at the Bread Cemetery / Exorcist Age: 27 Years Old Played By: Addie Face Claim: Moon Ga-Young

"Sometimes you have to be the monster of a few people’s stories to be the hero in others. It’s just how it is."

TW: Emotional abuse, domestic abuse

Lilian Ballard was the next in a long line of celebrated exorcists, a fact that her father, Jacob, seemed to drill into her head since she was big enough to understand the words he was saying. Her twin, Jonas, wasn't going to be one, though. It had taken her a long time to understand that, especially with how gentle he was with ghosts. How they listened to him and even talked to him. She always thought it was magical and wondered why they wouldn't speak to her. 

She tried to tell her dad, but she didn't really have the words to convey her meaning. He thought she was talking metaphorically - or, more likely, she wanted to be like her twin, even if he couldn't understand that. It took him seeing one scream in her face and her not so much flinching back to realize that she wasn't just mirroring Jonas. Then he realized Lil never talked to the ghosts or responded to their questions. Instead, she always looked to him to tell her when to begin the exorcism. 

Like her twin, Lil was fundamentally different from her siblings- a disappointment. However, unlike Jonas, Lil didn't escape his careful training. After all, hearing the dead was helpful in mediums but not exorcists. She didn't need to know what they were saying to her. Further, as she started to succeed in her studies, he realized maybe she could transfer into a demonologist - hiding that she couldn't hear what was happening. She would need to give up on the dearly departed and train away from the family. 

He never really considered what Lil wanted to go into that equation. June, though, saw her daughter in a different light. How her youngest daughter would stand resolutely between Jonas and the outside world when it got too much. She was attentive to her siblings and the other kids she thought were being bullied. How she tried her hardest to fit in, not quite knowing how to do so but eager to talk to others. Although Lil could be so brave, she didn't have the resolution that you would need to fight demons. She was too temperamental, prone to anger and over-protectiveness that would only lead her to fights that she couldn't hope to win. Lil kept shielding Jonas from the information, not letting their father tell him - instead getting loud and abrasive so he would yell about her behavior instead of telling Jonas. Still, although Lil seemed to hide it well, any time Jacob talked about Lil going away as soon as she turned eighteen, she freaked out.

After all, Lil knew that as soon as she left, she couldn't take her twin with her or anyone else. None of her family would know where she was, and she'd be truly alone. Something she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to do. So, with the help of June, Lil told Jacob that she wasn't going to do it. Instead, she was going to stay in town, and continue being a ghost exorcist.

Their father, however, had a different idea. Lil never quite understood how he had done it. Still, after convincing her that they were back to their normal after the talk - a rapid acceptance that Lil only understood in hindsight- he brought her into another exorcism. For what it was worth, Lil didn't know the ghosts weren't poltergeists as she carefully exorcized them. She didn't hear them screaming for her to stop. She didn't know the fallout that would happen - how her once clean record blackened as Jacob turned her in. How she targeted spirits.  How the card she'd worked hard to get was cut in front of her while she tried to explain she couldn't hear the ghosts - something that they didn't believe. Lil saw him smirking after, telling her that her reputation was ruined and that she might as well be a demonologist. That continuing as an exorcist would do nothing but destroy the rest of her life as she would always be seen as a reaper - exorcizing both spirits and poltergeists indiscriminately. No one would ever trust her once they knew what she had done. Once she turned eighteen, he would send her off to become a demonologist, and she would stop disobeying him. 

On the car ride home, Lil was resolute that she wouldn't do what Jacob wanted and started a plan to get away from him. To show him that she wouldn't do what he wanted. She was sure that he would stop all of this if she wasn't around, and maybe they would have some sort of peace. She just needed to disappear from their hometown for a while, so he calmed down on this stupid idea. Still, how much better would it be if she was alone anyway? 

So, with a twinge of guilt, Lil asked Jonas to leave with her. Without hesitating, Jonas agreed, and while furious at the beginning, over time, their father seemed to accept that Lil had outsmarted him (or, more realistically, was more trouble than it was worth). Soon, although strained, Lil would take jobs from him across the country, still furious at what he had done to her reputation. Now, most of the jobs she took were dubious at best – that most exorcists wouldn’t take. She took all of them, knowing that her reputation was one of dealing with any kind of ghost. 

Still, for the next ten years, she was happy on the road. That was until recently. Lil hadn't accounted for the fact that the Ballard’s always seemed to bring about tragedy. First, it was Blue, a Barghest who attached herself to Jonas. Then, Lil got the call that their family was gone, all of them disappearing from their hometown in a night. Now, with Jonas and Blue in tow, Lil has returned to the town, trying to find out what happened - and most importantly, how to get her family back.

Character Facts:

Personality: Persistent, amiable, heroic, judgmental, reckless, stubborn, over-protective, angry, trustworthy 

Although Lil can see ghosts and sense them she can’t hear them which causes a lot of frustration on both sides. She tends to pretend she can hear them though relying on Jonas to sign to her what they are saying. 

Since Lil has been blacklisted from the Ghostbusters, she is weary of working with other exorcists and tends to push them away. She’s pretty bitter about it, but if it came down to it she’d help. 

Lil is trying to find her missing siblings and is often in weird areas trying to find clues. 

Lil knows a lot of languages both dead and still spoken, however she relies on Latin rituals for her exorcisms. Notably she can be seen signing ASL words as she talks, mostly out of habit. 

Lil doesn’t mind helping supernatural folks, and often will perform exorcisms / modify exorcisms to properly help them. 

[choco-exe]

the one where tsukishima and sakusa go too far with teasing their crush

anonymous asks:  Hiiiiii I LOVE ur writing, and I was wondering if I could request the haikyuu boys (whoever u think fits best) who constantly tease (borderline insult) their crush, who one day just breaks down from their harsh words and say to them something along the lines of “why do you hate me?”, and how the the haikyuu boys react to that. If possible, end with something fluffy 🥺? (Like a confession) TYSMMM ❤️❤️

a/n: hello! aww im glad you do :D wait i just realized you said to have the boys react to their crush saying why do you hate me- fuuuuu- ahem please forgive me for not reading the ask correctly ;w; i hope you still enjoy, nevertheless! and why did i write these long-

tw: mentions of self hate, kind of toxic behavior from sakusa

𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 . . .  🖉

  ☾ he’s gonna be meaner the more he likes you   ☾ like if he’s only realized he developed a crush on you, he’d treat you the same, but if it’s been weeks and you haven’t picked up the hint, he’s gonna be treating you like trash   ☾ you find him staring down at you with a dead eye stare   ☾ “what’s up, kei?” “you’re so short you look like a toddler” “..i’m the average height for a high schooler though-”   ☾ his comments about your height never got to you, but then he started to target other regions of yourself   ☾ like he’d give a rude remark about a low score you got on the quiz, or how you always look dead inside well he isn’t wrong   ☾ whenever he said something negative about you, you just shot back a counter and brushed it off   ☾ after a month of this going on, though, his words started to sting a bit   ☾ “hey kei-” “can’t you stay quiet for one second? it’s like you blab out words every chance you get”   ☾ imagine your surprise, since it was unusual of him to comment about you talking   ☾ and one of your biggest insecurities is being annoying to others; you knew you tend to ramble about things, and a nagging voice in the back of your mind was always telling you about how people around you would get fed up with it   ☾ did tsukki mean to say it like that? of course not; he was meaning to have a bit of humor in his statement   ☾ he just said it in such an annoyed tone and way that it made it seem like he was bothered by you talking   ☾ “..sorry, kei. my mind wandered for a bit..”   ☾ you figured that he just had a bad day, and you were over it after a full night of sleep i could really use that   ☾ the voice inside your head grew louder, however, and tsukishima’s comments didn’t help at all   ☾ “stop bothering me about the homework; cant you see i’m busy? ugh, fine, take my notes if you’re that stupid-”   ☾ “if you want attention, listen to this playlist. it should satisfy your longing for voices; i need to study for a test now”   ☾ it got to the point where your mind was yelling at you about being a nuisance, and the final piece you needed to break just so happened to be during a practice match..

“You did great, blocking them all, Tsukki!” You exclaimed, flashing him a grin as you pass him his water bottle and towel. In all honesty, you were forcing your smile so hard, it began to hurt your jaw. “I could’ve blocked better if someone wasn’t screaming the whole time,” the middle blocker said, wiping sweat off his forehead. You had been passing out water bottles to the other players, but you stopped dead in your tracks when his words hit your ears. “Y/N-chan..?” Shimizu asked worriedly, eyeing your expression that Tsukishima couldn’t see. The said blonde took off his goggled to switch them out with his regular glasses. “It was just a practice match; getting hyped up wasn’t exactly the brightest idea your mind conjured up.” Putting his glasses on after wiping the lenses, he looked down at you to see your tear ducts brimming with your sadness. “..huh..?” You touched your face as a tear slid down your cheek. The other club members looked at you in concern. “Ah- don’t worry, everyone..” You wave your hands frantically as Daichi and Sugawara stare disapprovingly at Tsukishima. “It’s nothing to worry about. I’m just gonna.. step outside for a bit.” You forced another smile out onto your face, then quickly scampered out of the gym. The silence was so thick, you could slice it with a sword. Four-Eyes clearly didn’t expect you to be that emotional over his statement, as his face was filled with a small mixture of concern and confusion. He ran after you, shoving his things in his hands to Yamaguchi and leaving the rest of the team shocked into standing still. You had fled to a nearby bench, where you collapsed onto and shoved your face into your hands, desperately trying to stop your tears from shedding. How stupid, you thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Look what you did; you made the team worry about you, and they’re all going to resent you the moment they find out the reason behind your crying. “Y/N.” Jolted out of your thoughts, you looked up to find Tsukishima staring down at you with an unreadable expression. Almost immediately, your face became flooded with streams of tears. You quickly looked down at your lap, fidgeting with your hands. “I-I’m sorry for talking so much, Tsukki, I’ll try to keep my thoughts to myself-” “Shut up, Y/N.” He interrupted. You sighed and calmed your breathing. “This is what I’m talking about, Tsukishima.” You muttered, putting your face in your hands once again. “I’m just a pest to everyone; anyone I encounter will automatically hate me-” “Stop insulting yourself, dammit.” The middle blocker clenched his fists in anger. “You aren’t a nuisance, and you most definitely aren’t one to be hated on- I know I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but did it really affect you that much-” You slowly took your face out of your hands to see the blonde crouching, staring up at you. “'Did it really affect you that much?’ What do you think?! God, it really seems like you don’t consider my feelings at all, Tsukishima! I’ve been suspecting that you hate me, but why-?!” Said boy quickly clasped your hands in his, surprising you greatly. His usual expressionless face was morphed into one in a slight panic. “It’s because I like you, idiot!” Taking a moment to process his words, your whole face flushed a scarlet-red. “What?” The tips of Tsukishima’s ears were dusted with a soft coral-pink hue. “You heard me. I won’t repeat myself.” He averted his eyes from yours, squeezing your hands in nervousness. “I-” You were internally melting inside; who would’ve thought the salty beanpole would like someone like you? “But you would always push me to the side! Telling me you were busy and such!” Tsukishima stared at you like you were the biggest dumbass in the world. “I gave you my notes because I knew you didn’t have the energy to take them in class, and the playlist was a collection of songs I thought would suit you. Are you that dense?” “Who are you calling dense?!” You replied hastily. “And for your information, I haven’t given you my answer yet! Let go of my hands, and I’ll tell you, okay?” The middle blocker leaned in close to your face with his dead eye gaze. “It’s an agreement or disagreement, Y/N. What is your response?” You leaned back into the bench, but Tsukishima followed with your movements. “Um- I-” Your words crossed with each other, the lack of personal space making your head spin. “Yes?” Satisfied, the lamppost removed his hands from yours and flicked your forehead. “Simple as that, shortcake. If you want to freeze to death outside, that’s fine by me.” He began to walk back to the gym. “Wha- I’m not short!” You exclaimed, running after the four-eyes. “Also, I’m not the one who’s been sweating profusely for the past hour, so speak for yourself!” Tsukishima gently smiled as he heard you rapidly firing back at his comment. Looks like she’s back to her usual self. 𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚜𝚊 . . .  🖉

  ✤ obviously he’s gonna be commenting about your hygiene 24/7   ✤ the fact that he’s developed a crush on you doesn’t help, either; it means that you should be extra clean if he were to date you   ✤ and of course he has to remind you almost every hour of the day; whether it be by text or in person   ✤ now, you didn’t mind him checking up on you every couple of days, but every hour??   ✤ you’re convinced that sakusa has had some sort of trauma in the past, fighting with germs ever since he was a child okay not really.. unless?   ✤ he doesn’t even do this to the other people he’s acquainted with; you’ve asked koromi about it, and he says sakusa just sprays him with holy water a disinfecting solution    ✤ now you’re confused as to why you’re getting special treatment from him, when you two aren’t as close as him and his cousin   ✤ so you personally went to his class to ask him about it   ✤ “hey kiyoomi, why do you remind me to be clean every hour that you’re awake?” “because you shouldn’t have a single germ on you.” “but it’s literally the same message every time; at least make it seem more interesting” “cleaning yourself should be simple, not complicated”   ✤ you got fed up with it as another week went by, which is understandable, since this clean freak was spamming your phone hour after hour without missing a single text   ✤ the fact that sakusa was willing to put effort into reminding you about your hygiene was kind of sweet, but the same message every. single. damn. time. was annoying you like hell   ✤ and when you tell him to stop and that you already know how to get rid of germs, he gave you a disgusted look   ✤ this had to be one of the most nasty expressions he had ever made, because you stood paralyzed to the floor   ✤ “i have been reminding you for your own good, y/n. why don’t you just appreciate what i do for you, instead of complain about it?”   ✤ your mouth stayed shut, your tongue feeling as though it was glued to the top of your mouth �� ✤ “don’t mention anything like this again”   ✤ you meekly nodded, and he strolled out the classroom   ✤ the moment he was gone, you collapsed onto the floor out of fear, shivering as you replayed the scene again and again in your head   ✤ the main question that circled your head was: why was he acting so controlling?   ✤ the night after, you texted sakusa, and asked him to meet up with you at your favorite spot   ✤ surprisingly, he complied. and you were waiting for awhile by the time he got there..

“Sakusa, hi!” You greeted your friend with a small but warm smile. The ace frowned; it was unlike you to call him by his last name. In fact, it had been months since you’ve said his name with such coldness in your voice. “..why did you call me out here?” He questioned in a low tone. Your eyes grew dark as you thought about what to say to him. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday. I feel as though we need to.” Sakusa’s own eyes narrowed as you spoke each word. “Are you still going to complain about my reminders to you?” Shaking your head, you stared at your feet while hugging your arms to your chest. “Of course not, I heard what you told me to do. I just.. wanted to know why you got so angry, is all.” The jet-black haired boy stared down at you, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to remember what specifically happened the day before. “I don’t know what you’re remembering, Y/N, but I wasn’t angry in the slightest. Are you sure you aren’t thinking of another memory of yours?” Your head snaps up when he said that he wasn’t angry. “Yes, I’m very sure.” You firmly say. “Maybe you don’t think you seemed angry, but you were downright furious. It was.. kind of terrifying.” “Are you saying I was out of control yesterday?” “No, just..” You subconsciously hugged your arms tighter to your body, trying to make yourself as small as possible. “..intimidating.” Sakusa tilted his head, his eyes narrowing. You found him intimidating? Just from a little conversation that happened because of you’re questioning ways? “I’m tired, and I’m sure you are, too,” you continued, not catching on that your friend was becoming annoyed with your talking. “Which is why I want to end this quickly. Sakusa, I have a life, too. As much as I appreciate what you do for me, I can take care of myself without your help-” “You’re repeating the same words you stated yesterday, just in different phrasing.” The germaphobe harshly cut in. “I said this once, but I will say it again, for your sake. I am doing this for your own good-” “-and I know what’s good for me and what isn’t, Sakusa!” You exclaimed, your arms no longer crossed. “I can make my own decisions! I’m not some dumb little kid you have to look after-” “Y/N-” “-so just drop this already! It doesn’t help anyone; it doesn’t help me, it doesn’t help you-” “Y/N.” Sakusa lost all patience. He towered over you, his hands clenched tightly into fists. You slightly shrink at his actions, your arms up in defense. The ace didn’t seem to notice your fear as he took a step forward. “You are crawling with so many germs, I can practically see them all over you. You are in no condition to be deciding on your hygiene, when you can’t even rid of the many dirt particles covering your skin.” He took another step forward, and you step back, unsure of what to do. Sakusa broke out of his anger when he heard a slight sob leave your lips. “Why do you hate me so much, Sakusa?!” You asked, pain laced into your voice. “I’m perfectly capable of not being dirty, can’t you see?! Why can’t you just leave me alone-” You used your sleeves to start wiping the tears away, although they doubled to replace the ones you removed. The ace hesitantly enveloped you in a hug, making you break down even more. “Sakusa- no- you’re gonna get germs on you-” You stammered, resisting the temptation to bury your face into his chest. “..I made you cry. I need to pay the consequences.” Said boy murmured, rubbing shapes onto your back. You continued to cry for a good 5 minutes, before slowly pushing him away. “..thank you.” You sniffled. “I know consequences has nothing to do with that. Why did you-?” “I like you, Y/N.” He cut you off, making your eyes widen. “The reason why I’d been constantly reminding you to wash up is because I thought I should date someone who was clean to the touch. That was wrong of me, so very wrong. I apologize, and it’s fine if you reject-” You shut him up with a kiss to his mask. “Are you traumatized yet?” You asked, trying to crack a smile. “That’s my revenge from yesterday.” Sakusa blinked multiple times before realizing what you did. “..I guess I deserved that. So is that a yes..?” You broke out into a beautiful, radiant smile this time, the moonlight making you glow even more than you already were. “Of course, Kiyoomi!”