#when the past comes crashing
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librathefangirl · 2 years ago
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When the Past Comes Crashing
ao3 (Chapter 1/7; 2k+)
A seemingly easy mission quickly goes awry for the Seven Deadly Sins, forcing them to make some critical decisions that sets off an unexpected set of events. At the same time, a long-buried secret comes back to haunt Meliodas with a 3,000-year-old call for revenge. Written for @amonthofwhump's March Trope-A-Thon!
Okay, so a little run-down about this AU/timeline: This goes off-canon back in the First Holy War and Meliodas’ betrayal against the demons. The details of how exactly, you’ll find out through the story (as it’s a vital part of the plot).
As for the present-time timeline, it’s canon-divergent in the way that Meliodas actually killed Fraudrin back in Danafor. This means Dreyfus was never possessed, Zaratras was never killed, and the Sins were never framed. Elizabeth’s relationship with Meliodas is of course also affected by this as she never had to search for the Sins with him. Instead, she grew up with him as the captain of the Seven Deadly Sins and a Holy Knight of Liones. As for the Sins’ current dynamic, it’s mostly like how it was in Prisoners of the Sky, except only Merlin and Gowther (who has regained his memories) know about Meliodas being a demon.
Chapter Prompts: Day 1 – Environmental; Rockslide/Building Collapse.
Read on ao3 or under the cut!
“You’re worried about me?” Meliodas teased when Drole lingered behind. Gloxinia and Elizabeth had already flown ahead. Gloxinia had held onto Elizabeth’s hand, as if he was afraid that she would circle back given the chance. Maybe she would have. They had all been even less excited about the plan than usual. Elizabeth had been downright against it.
Drole sighed deeply, “I’m worried you’re not taking this seriously.”
“Come on, when am I not serious?” Meliodas questioned, flying up to the giant’s eye-level. Drole just gave him a look, causing Meliodas to roll his eyes. “I’ve got this.”
“If it were up to Elizabeth, you wouldn’t be doing this at all.”
“Well, Ellie’s a worrier,” Meliodas smiled. He then sighed when he only got the same apprehensive look. “The plan hasn’t changed.”
“Maybe it should,” Drole suggested. Meliodas crossed his arms over his chest, avoiding his gaze.
“We’ve been over this. I’m not abandoning him.”
“I know,” Drole acknowledged. “And we’re not asking you to.”
“Then you’re just going to have to trust me!”
“We do,” Drole promised. Meliodas felt his defensiveness falter. His hands dropped to his sides. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t worry about you.”
A small smile passed over Meliodas’ face, “We’re all taking risks here.”
“Not all of us are betraying the Demon King right under his nose,” Drole pointed out. Meliodas hummed at that.
“That’s true,” he admitted. “But we don’t have a lot of options here. Unless you honestly think we can count on Ludociel to end this war peacefully.”
Drole sighed again, “Just be careful.”
“I will,” Meliodas promised. He hesitated as he was about to fly away, glancing over his shoulder towards the spot the others had disappeared. “Look after Elizabeth for me.”
Drole nodded his head, “We’ll see you soon.”
– 3,000 years later –
“So, what exactly is this mission again?” Ban asked, glancing up at the towering building with an almost bored expression.
The massive house was like something from a horror story. It somehow looked simultaneously both sturdy and ready to collapse at any moment. Meliodas eyed the mountain behind it critically. He didn’t like the way it was more or less hanging out over the building. If something were to happen to the mountain, the building would be buried instantly.
“Ghost hunting,” Meliodas then exclaimed, throwing Ban a bright grin. Ban just rose his eyebrows at him as King groaned beside them.
“Captain,” King protested.
Merlin shook her head, “Nobody said anything about ghosts.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Meliodas muttered, waving his hand at her as they came to a stop before the house. “But that’s what they were all implying. Spooky hauntings.”
“The village down the hill has been subjected to a series of… mysterious incidents,” Merlin explained. “Nobody could give a proper explanation on what exactly happened, but it has the whole village crying ghosts and monsters. They’re all blaming this house, apparently. Even the knights are scared to go near it.”
“Wimps,” Ban snorted. “So, they sent us instead.”
“Yup!” Meliodas nodded his head, still grinning. “So, now we have to go in and make sure there are no vengeful ghosts haunting the village.”
Meliodas tilted his head, regarding the house. There was something about it that seemed off. Okay, there was a lot about this that seemed off. But there was something particular about the house he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something that, despite his jokes, made him want to send the others away. Unfortunately, he knew they wouldn’t accept that without a proper reason. One he didn’t have yet. Because ‘a bad feeling’ definitely wouldn’t work.
“And Diane and the others stayed back because…?” King asked. Meliodas noticed but didn’t point out his choice of wording. It wasn’t like King was subtle about his crush on Diane, and right now, Meliodas was happy for the distraction. Something to shake the unease feeling. Meliodas shrugged his shoulders casually as he explained.
“To guard the village against whatever we anger of course!” King rolled his eyes, and Meliodas gestured towards the mountain. “And that looks about ready to collapse. If there is a rockslide, Diane and Escanor will be able to protect the village, and Gowther can help with an eventual evacuation.”
“Well, at least you’ve thought this one through, Captain.”
“So, we gonna go in?” Ban questioned, sending a teasing grin in King’s direction. “Or you wanna admit that you’re scared~?”
“I am not-”
“Okay!” Meliodas cut off, before an argument could break out. “Let’s go. The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get a drink instead!”
– X –
“Found any vengeful ghosts?” Meliodas asked as Merlin stepped up beside him. They’d all split up once inside the house to cover all the rooms faster.
Merlin sighed, shaking her head at him again, “You’re enjoying this too much.”
Meliodas glanced at her, tilting his head at her tone; “You’re saying you believe the villagers?”
“There are no ghosts here,” Merlin muttered, glaring at him for even making her say it aloud. “Those people don’t know what they’re talking about, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something here. There’s magical residue all over the place.”
“Yeah,” Meliodas agreed, his smile dropping. “I felt that too. Haven’t seen anything that can cause any ghost-blamed incidents though.”
“No. I haven’t either,” Merlin said as Meliodas rubbed at a spot on the floorboards with his foot. He glanced at her again. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her shoulder raised; she looked as tense as she sounded.
“But you found something?” Meliodas guessed, frowning at the pattern underneath the dust. It looked familiar… Merlin hesitated for a moment before she shook her head.
“One of the rooms was completely destroyed,” Merlin explained. “What I felt there was… familiar in a way it shouldn’t be.”
Meliodas looked up from the floor, “What do you mean?”
“It felt like miasma.”
“No,” Meliodas muttered. He crossed his own arms, shifting from foot to foot. “It can’t be. Miasma doesn’t occur naturally in this realm.”
“Which explains the rotten wood in the room,” Merlin pointed out. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s the only explanation I have. That room has been exposed to pure miasma.”
“That isn’t possible,” Meliodas protested again, unconsciously grabbing hold of the dragon handle. “The demons have been sealed off from this realm for millennia. You know that.”
“I do,” Merlin acknowledged. “But you know there have been demons who have slipped out before. The Fairy King’s Forest, Danafor-”
“That was different! Fraudrin is dead, and there is no way a Red Demon could set a trap like this.”
Merlin raised an eyebrow at him, “You think this is a trap?”
“You don’t?” Meliodas questioned. “I wasn’t sure at first, but, something about this place always felt wrong. In a way, it didn’t feel wrong.”
“Like miasma.”
“Exactly. And, I mean, just look around! There’s nothing in this house. Yet the villagers are being plagued by something unseen and unknown? And no other knights will even step foot in this place. Meaning we had to come here. Then there’s the miasma, apparently, and…” Meliodas glanced down at the floor again, but before he could continue, the entire building shook violently. A loud, startling crack sounded from outside.
Meliodas and Merlin shared a knowing look, as Meliodas let out a muttered curse.
“The mountain,” Merlin agreed. Meliodas gaze flickered to the floor again before meeting her gaze.
“Whatever is going on, we can figure it out later. We need to get the others and get out before that mountain buries us.”
– X –
As they all made it to the door, Meliodas had the feeling this natural disaster happening outside wasn’t so natural after all. Just like these ghost incidents wasn’t so ghost related. Someone had wanted them specifically to come here – had wanted him to come here. That much was clear. He didn’t know who or what or even why, but there was at least one demon involved. A fact that only made this whole situation worse.
Meliodas lingered behind as the other exited the house. Given King’s shout as he looked behind the house, they didn’t have much time.
“Merlin.” Meliodas stopped her before she could join King and Ban. She turned to him with a troubled frown. Her voice was tense as she spoke.
“We need to leave.”
“I know,” Meliodas said, but then shook his head. He rubbed his foot on the floor again, pushing away the layers of dust until she could see the carved pattern. The same pattern that had been in the other room – possibly every room. Logically, he knew it ran through the entire house. Merlin let out a loud curse as she recognized it.
“Yeah,” Meliodas agreed, his mouth twisting into a humorless smile. He reached out one hand towards the door and let his fingers push against the invisible force field there – design to keep demons and demons only from crossing. “This was definitely a trap.”
“But who-”
“There’s no time,” Meliodas cut her off. The ground was shaking with worsening tremors. “You have to get the others away from here. Keep the village safe.”
“Meliodas…” Merlin’s voice trailed off as he reached out his sword towards her. The dragon handle trembled in his hands. Ever since Danafor he had never let it out of his sight. Not even once. Until now. Merlin swallowed.
“What if…” she was stalling. They both knew it. She was no more eager to take the sword than he was to give it to her. They both realized what that meant. Only one of them was leaving this house today. Her gaze flickered back to the floor, but Meliodas shook his head. Ban and King shouted at them frantically from outside. They were out of time. Soon those two would just settle for dragging them out by force if necessary. It wouldn’t work of course, and Meliodas had no plan to have them here when their time really did run out. Big rocks were already crashing down around the house.
“You know as well as I do that not even you can undo or overpower that barrier. Not before it is already too late. I can’t leave. So, I need you to take this. You’re the only one I trust with it. Take it and get the others away.” His words were a strange mix of ordering and pleading. Tears shone in his eyes. “You know I will be fine. Take it and get them to safety.”
Reluctantly, Merlin took the sword from Meliodas’ hand. The sound of the crashing rocks almost deafening now. Before she left, she looked him straight in the eyes, “Don’t die.”
Meliodas gave her a shaky smile. Then she snapped her fingers, teleporting Ban, King, and herself down into the village. Away from harm, and away from Meliodas.
Meliodas exhaled slowly. The others were safe. The key was safe. That was all that mattered. He closed his eyes, calling every inch of his magic to him. He extended his wings behind him. Anything that could help as the mountain collapsed over him.
It wasn’t enough.
– 3,000 years ago –
Elizabeth was fluttering. Gloxinia didn’t have a better way to describe it. She was pacing back and forth, her feet barely even touching the ground. She wrung her hands together anxiously as she muttered to herself. Gloxinia would have said she looked like a wreck, but she looked like she had for the past few days.
“You’re back!” she cried out as soon as she saw them. Then she threw a glance over her shoulder, her expression darkening instantly. It seemed like her day with Ludociel had been less than pleasant. Not that Gloxinia was surprised. For all his power, the archangel was very far down on the list of people Gloxinia would willingly spend his free time with.
“What-” Elizabeth cut off herself, giving them a tight smile. Gloxinia nodded his head. This was not a conversation to have around nosy assholes. He shared a glance with Drole. If he was honest, he didn’t want to have this conversation at all. Gloxinia wanted to just erase these past hours and go back to living in blissful unawareness.
Once they’d made it far away to be unheard and undisturbed, Elizabeth spun around.
“So? What happened?” she immediately asked. “Oh, I wished I could have come with you!”
She faltered when she met their gazes. Oh, God. Gloxinia didn’t want to do this. Not when she was looking at them like that. He could see the worry in her eyes go from fearing the what ifs to something a lot more concrete; a realization that something actually had gone wrong. Gloxinia really wished he could prove her wrong.
“What is it?” she asked, her voice a mere whisper. Drole glanced off to the side, but when he spoke, he met her gaze. His steady calm barely hiding his own worry.
“He wasn’t there.”
Gloxinia could see the exact moment that Elizabeth processed the words. Her world shattering.
“… what?”
“It doesn’t have to mean something’s wrong!” Gloxinia hurriedly added. The words sounded false even to his own ears. Elizabeth shook her head, a few tears falling from her eyes as she pressed a hand to her mouth.
“No, it- he wouldn’t- Mel would have let us know!” Elizabeth stammered. She was right. Of course she was right. If Gloxinia had actually believed his own words, the worry wouldn’t have felt like a rock in his stomach.
“Okay, yeah, something is wrong,” he admitted shakily. “But it doesn’t have to mean the worst-case scenario.”
It was the same floundering attempts at comfort he’d been giving himself for hours by now.
“Which is?” Elizabeth asked. They all knew it – but she seemed to need to hear it.
“Worst-case,” Gloxinia said, reluctantly letting the idea form in his mind. “The Demon King knows.”
Elizabeth nodded her head, more tears rolling down her cheeks as she suppressed a sob.
“But it doesn’t have to be worst case,” Gloxinia tried again.
“He’s right,” Drole spoke up. “For all we know, this is to keep his cover. A precaution to not be discovered.”
“That’s still not a good thing, is it?” Elizabeth said shakily. Neither Gloxinia nor Drole answered her. They didn’t need to. All three already knew the answer. No matter the reason, Meliodas not showing up as planned meant that something had gone wrong. Just like they had all feared ever since they started this whole thing.
– 3,000 years later –
When Meliodas came to, it was painfully, slowly, and briefly. It wasn’t to the darkness underneath half a mountain. It was to a ray of the setting sun in his face. It was to a shadow towering above him. It was to the realization that something was horrible wrong before the darkness took over again.
To Be Continued…
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nancywheeeler · 2 years ago
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hopeless time loop. the way out isn’t to save everyone. the way out isn’t to save even one person. the way out isn’t to change anything. the way out is accepting how it happened the first time is how it always will be. that’s how you acted, that’s how they acted, that’s how you would have acted every time if you weren’t given the curse of hindsight. the way out is accepting you can’t fix the past; you can only forgive yourself for it.
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swordsonnet · 2 years ago
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the most annoying thing about me/cfs is that it's more like 10 different illnesses in a trenchcoat. i'll wake up with a new symptom and be like "oh okay, guess that's what we're doing today"
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ebonytails · 5 months ago
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sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.
The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.
You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.
I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN
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itspileofgoodthings · 29 days ago
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adult wins, adult anxieties and fears and frozenness.
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apollo-just-ice · 4 months ago
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The funniest and saddest thing perhaps is how captivated I have been by Skaði/Njörðr lately…
Yeah. Njörðr from Feh and his… presumably existing wife that isn’t even in Feh in any shape way or form atm.
I mean I’ve taken what can be learnt from Norse mythology and have made her into my own character, basically, but still…
I am working on a fic rn but man. Who is gonna get this except me? It’s crazy. But I am having fun with it soooooo. Hopefully that’ll be enough <3
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iniziare · 4 months ago
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Tag drop: Jingliu
#[ jingliu. ] and so i wield my blade to the very end. until the 'stars' have been cut down from the sky. this oath: i will never forsake.#[ jingliu: ic. ] trapped in childhood nightmares; she tore off a spread of black silk from the edge of her skirt and covered her eyes.#[ jingliu: inquiries. ] ice waves as sharp as knives spreading like transient flowers in the air. freezing all and everyone they contact.#[ jingliu: countenance. ] when you live to be a thousand years. each day is carrying the weight of a mountain through an interminable maze.#[ jingliu: introspection. ] why do you wield a sword? / this is like asking a poet why they wrote poems. this is the only way for me.#[ jingliu: meta. ] this sword in my hand... naught but a needle compared with the heavenly bodies. how can i use it to cut open a star?#[ jingliu: etc. ] to the xianzhou; i am but an abandoned pawn: a wandering swordmaster.#[ jingliu: the sword. ] if there comes a day that the quivers run empty; and starskiffs crash… who will protect you and i then; or the xian#[ jingliu: florephemeral sword. ] a sword: 3 feet; 7 inches in length. weighing nothing. and it glowed as if a sliver of moonlight.#[ jingliu: shattered sword. ] a sword: 5 feet in length. weighing 3000 catties. unyielding: mirroring the defiance; hubris of its creator.#[ jingliu: cangchang. ] . when devoured; we had to face the truth that our lives were but a grain of sand in the river of time.#[ jingliu: hcq. ] their faces still linger before my eyes like a bygone dream. yet dreams will eventually fade. like clouds from the sky.#[ jingliu: memories. ] given the choice between staring at the abyss with a troubled mind and marching blindly: i choose the latter.#[ jingliu: the mara. ] do you know how to deal with the mara-struck? the answer is: there is no difference. The sword pierces the body and#[ jingliu: jing yuan. ] in an endless night; there is nothing closer than the bright moon. always hanging in the sky.#[ jingliu: imbibitor lunae. ] even after your rebirth. your techniques haven't changed a bit. / when i move it's like… / … like you never f#[ jingliu: baiheng. ] the things that we said and did together have all been shrouded in a layer of mist. a mist i cannot see through.#[ jingliu: yingxing. ] some are born with unparalleled foresight; intelligence; but make the ill-advised choices at destiny's crossroads.#[ jingliu: blade. ] that broken sword... you don't want to let go of the past. do you; blade?#[ jingliu: yanqing. ] that move was a token of my appreciation; young man. we were fated to meet this day and in days to come.#[ jingliu: v. youth. ] you can use this to vanquish those that took everything from us.#[ jingliu: v. sword champion. ] she knows it all. swords are a part of her body: the intake and release of her breath as she walks.#[ jingliu: v. traitor. ] and i will suffer my eternal punishment. that is the only way to keep the memory of the pain from fading away.#[ jingliu: v. present. ] whether it be you or I; or the generals of the reignbow arbiter. we are all just pawns in a game of the gods.#tag drop
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crescentfool · 1 year ago
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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.
i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.
heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."
knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.
it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.
i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!
i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!
#lizzy speaks#hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023#but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me#so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s#it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything#and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are#all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it#for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet'#and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient-#kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an-#instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.'#like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space#and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i#some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues-#our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol#but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard-#of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works#i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things.#in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive'#but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity'#...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people!#who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish!#thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories!#and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more#it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly!#ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves#as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like#wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!
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asinglesock · 2 months ago
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I slept so much today AND we're falling back tomorrow so I get even more time to sleep AND I'm only working at caregiving job this month so my work is going to be contained to regular business hours <3 <3 <3
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hotsugarbyglassanimals · 11 days ago
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it's probably the sunnier weather that's doing stuff to my brain to make me more optimistic but it's so interesting having a brain that craves a lot of self-fulfillment to the point where I can move past some hang-ups around perfection by going "oh I really wanna do that though" and then I do it well because researching how to do it right is also a rewarding part of the process
#it comes with the double edged sword of dropping projects as soon as they become a bit more involved/difficult#or when they don't feel fulfilling#but maybe it's better to take a break and come back to something with new knowledge ?#maybe it's good that my brain has a built in 'if it sucks hit da bricks' function ?#i just wish that i had more stamina for these things when they start lacking intrinsic rewards#it just feels like compared to my other family members i lose steam very very quickly and since we all have the same disorder i should be-#- 'just as capable'... but honest to god my under-activity feels SO severe#it honestly feels like compared to others my threshold for mental exhaustion is half the normal benchmark it should be#you know how there were studies done that found that 4 hours is the maximum amount of time people can work before a decline in efficiency?#i swear to god when the activity is something i have no internal reward for it takes 1-2 hours for that decline to start. and my brain -#- crashes HARD. my eyes start to glaze over. i start forgetting how to speak. my brain starts acting like it's 2-3 am and that i need to -#- sleep. i don't push myself not because i coddle myself but because i perform WAY worse. my work becomes unintelligible#or if it's some other kind of task (such as cleaning) my brain desperately tries to take shortcuts in order to get it done#i am trying to avoid a situation where i have to fix up the shitty job i did after the fact!#it's just kind of crazy to me how this is viewed as laziness LOL 'you did a bad job!' because i was pushed past my limit!#not to mention... i get burned out for DAYS if i push myself too hard. i am trying to conserve my efficiency#if you want me to do a better job... i need more time. and trust me: i'll do an excellent job if you let me rest#i am a very smart and capable person who cares about doing a good job - and i have a fine eye for smaller details as well#the trade-off here is i'll need some time to find joy and fulfillment somewhere else for a little bit while i rest. let me excel ok?#idk where this high self esteem came from other than like. realizing i wrote an entire research proposal in such short time#while receiving positive feedback with very few notes for improvement. i just sat down an added another section today based on -#-feedback and realized like 'wait. i know what i'm doing and i probably care about this far more than the average classmate'#i've been having a lot of thoughts lately and i sort of want to get to the bottom of how i have a difficult time coping w/ burnout#and i also want to figure out how to offset the costs of the stuff i need to do... it's a process
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librathefangirl · 2 years ago
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“Brother!” Meliodas froze at Zeldris’ voice. His legs locked up, keeping him in place in the empty hallway against his wishes. All he really wanted to do was run away. Away from the throne room, away from his father, away from the whole fucking Demon Realm. But he couldn’t bring himself to just walk away from Zeldris. Not now, when he could feel his presence so close, his fingers brushing through the air at Meliodas’ back – reaching out but not quite reaching.
I have officially started writing on the next chapter of When the Past Comes Crashing again! Yay! (Not being able to write has been hell 😭 But like this story has 2-3 timelines. It requires focus 😅)
Still got a bit to write before it'll get posted, but in the meantime have this little sneak peek that tells you absolutely nothing. Also, Zeldris makes his debut in this chapter!
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melto · 10 months ago
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my birthday week is like a fight for my fucking life.
#like i dont like my birthday bc i dont like attention and also bc the fact i am still alive when i never planned to be is so heavy#which makes it feel like all of a sudden i have a timer and i need to kiilllmyself#but mostly. The biggest issue is i think of my exbest friend bc it was our week always even if they treated me horrible#and i would just go along with whatever they wanted even if i hated it and i just think about them think about them think about them#and i dont want them in my life but i will talk myself into missing them#and feel guilty like its my fault like i deserved everything they did to me like i should never be allowed to move past it#and then i get so embarassed over how i let them rule my life and ruin so much for me and made me break away from people i care about#but then its like im so lonely at least they were always there even if they hated me#even if they wanted me to be so miserable even if they just wanted to know they would always have someone to push around#And i still have trouble when it comes to food im still scared of opening up to people im still scared of my friends of buying new clothes#somehow everything they said to and about me was true even though none of it is and it hurt me and ruined so much#but i must have deserved it. they were supposed to know me best. and i never have known myself#so everything they had said about me has been true for so long.#every time i have the thought that i miss them i think i need to crash my car#every year it gets better every week it is easier but its been so bad recently its been so bad i feel like pieces of me are falling apart#i dont want to manifest this year it being bad bc its just starting to get easier after my total depressive state but god#im looking at are they made for me years ago and i want to rip it apart but i cant every time i try i almost throw up.#i think im going to throw up right now.#deeply pathetic.#news with isaac
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greghatecrimes · 10 months ago
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also p.s. if i'm quiet for a few days it's nothing personal. i'm probably just resting. moving & new job & new place & getting out of crappy situation really sucked the spoons outta me
about + tag list + pinned post here
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selfcarecap · 4 months ago
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I watched Inside Out (1) last week and I’ve only ever watched it once before which was when I was like 10 and it was out in the cinema but rewatching it made me realise I genuinely have Bing Bong trauma 💀💀💀💀 I kept crying every time he showed up and when it happened I actually cried soooo hard I’ve never cried like that about a film and I cry at every film
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yaminerua · 4 months ago
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My brother was watching some home videos from around 2005 and anything from around that time is such a mixed bag of emotions for me when I watch them.
Like a lot of the videos have me at peak obnoxious cringe but like as embarrassing and kind of A Lot as I was then I can’t bring myself to actually dislike or hate that kid bc like. 2003-2006 were some of the roughest years of my life like every day I’d wake up literally terrified of how that day would end. My short-lived diary of early 2006 is full of lines like “won’t get sleep tonight, probably, but you know why” and I do… Oh I do…
so like. I see those videos of this loud kid being weird and feral and being Super Extra about the things they love and I just. I love you. I love you I love you I love you. You were going through awful traumatising shit every day and those things you loved were the only lifeline you had in the world. You were a strong kid and i wish I was half as strong now as you were then but I also wish we never had to find that strength in us to survive in the first place.
I can’t ever hate that version of me. Cos that kid is the only reason I’m still here at all and I only wish I could reach back through time and give them the big hug they needed that no-one else was giving them.
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debushit · 7 months ago
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ok i have a dumb question for usamericans, do you not have health insurance after you retire?
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