#when someone makes you happier than you've ever been in your entire life but the relationship is actively poisonous for both of you

[sneakypeddler]

just thought about clara and twelve and it ruined my whole day

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [10]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 4.5k

Trigger Warnings: graphic violence/torture, gore, implied mutilation

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 9 | Fic Masterlist | Part 11

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Wooyoung called out, entering the general's study with Jongho following closely behind, having been summoned to the estate.

Seonghwa looked up from his desk, "Ah yes, I heard you turned down the bonus incentive we offered. Why is that? Is there something else that you wish to have?"

Having encountered few who would refuse extra money, your husband found it hard to comprehend the private investigator's decision. Most people around him were usually drawn by the allure of his wealth or other associated benefits, which left him curious about Wooyoung's motives for declining the bonus. Surely, there was something specific he desired.

The younger man beamed, "My lord, I wasn't working so willingly for you because I wanted something more from you. Honestly, nothing makes me happier than being recognised by you! I just... okay, maybe there is one thing I really want."

Raising his brow, the general was not surprised by the sudden admission, "Go on, name it then."

With a cheeky grin, the investigator replied, "It's that you allow me to help you with whatever problems you have now!"

Your husband rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "What do you mean? I have no problems now; the worst is over."

"Really? Is that why you're here sulking alone instead of being with Lady Park? You clearly want to be near her, and yet, here you are, staying away from her because you haven't a clue how to face her after the traumatising ordeal you put her through yesterday."

That finally piqued Seonghwa's attention, prompting him to sit up straighter, though he attempted to maintain a nonchalant demeanour, "H-how did you figure that out?"

Without waiting for Wooyoung's response, he shook his head, "No, wait, actually, I don't want to know that. Just tell me... what should I do? I realise I haven't considered well enough what she went through, but I... I've never had to care for someone like this before, and I'm not really sure how to..."

The investigator offered an understanding smile, "My lord, the key to any relationship is communication. You need to talk to Lady Park. Ask her how she's feeling, and tell her you're sorry for what she went through. Avoiding each other won't solve anything; it will only create more distance between you two. You're her pillar of support now, and she needs to feel that you're there for her. You both deserve happiness, but it starts with open and honest communication."

Absorbing the advice, the general nodded thoughtfully, "You're right, Wooyoung. I appreciate your straightforwardness. I'll go talk to her and make things right."

Without hesitating, he sprang from his chair and made his way out of the study. The assistant and his friend couldn't contain their laughter, covering their mouths with their hands, but quickly composed themselves when Seonghwa glanced back at them, "Oh, and please, accept the bonus. You deserve it, especially after this."

Before Wooyoung could object, he had already exited the room and was rushing down the path toward the House of Lotus, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing his wife again.

He remembered how quiet you had been during the entire journey back home the day before, your gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. While you weren't overtly distant or cold to him, you seemed lost in thought throughout dinner. You excused yourself early, retiring to your quarters. The atmosphere carried an unspoken tension, making him hesitant to say anything for fear of your potential reaction.

Reflecting on it, he realised he should have assured you that things would be better from that point forward. Rather than maintaining a facade of normalcy, he regretted not breaking the silence and being there for you in that moment of unease.

His steps hesitated, and his breath deepened as you finally appeared in his line of sight, seated alone in the pavilion outside your room. Your lady etiquette books lay open beside you, but the faraway look in your eyes remained glued to the horizon beyond the lotus pond. For a moment, he stood there, appreciating your beauty, suddenly feeling thankful you looked nothing like your father.

However, as soon as you turned your head slightly and noticed him standing by the entrance, he blinked rapidly, feeling flustered. Gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and approached you.

Just go talk to her, you fool.

Seeing him approach, you closed the books and made room for him to sit in the small pavilion. He offered a warm smile, "Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you or anything."

Shaking your head, you returned a small smile, "No, not at all. I tried to study, but I just... I couldn't."

As he settled down beside you, reaching for your hand, you didn't flinch or pull away. He released a relieved breath and moved closer, "It's alright, you don't have to force yourself. I know you're probably upset with me. I... I'm sorry, my dear."

Lifting your head to meet his eyes, you furrowed your brows, "What? Why would I be upset with you?"

He winced, wondering if you were intentionally testing him to see if he knew what he did wrong. But then again, he knew you would never do anything like that. Sighing, he admitted, "Look, I know I should've thought things through better yesterday. I was so focused on wanting to punish your family for what they did, I forgot about how horrible it must have been for you to go back there and sit through all of that."

"I acknowledge it was a mistake. My intention was to give you a chance to confront your family by taking you to your old room. I didn't think it would affect you so badly. I realise now that it was a misguided decision, and I regret taking you back to that place. I'm a goddamned idiot."

His admission tugged at your heart, and you responded by placing a comforting hand over his.

"Seonghwa, you're not an idiot. I'm not upset with you," You assured him, "I've been quiet since the visit because I'm still processing the fact that my own father killed my mother. All this time, I believed she died from sickness. Now, I can't help but wonder how different my life would have been if only she were still alive. He took her away from me just like that, and for what? All for his own selfish reasons..."

"I just... I feel so—" Tears welled up in your eyes, and your voice broke, "I-I'm sorry..." You pulled your hands away from him, attempting to wipe your eyes, but he gently grasped your shoulders and turned you to face him.

"No, you need to stop apologising. You have every right to be sad, and I'm here to tell you that you never have to endure any more of the pain you're going through alone. I'm here for you, okay? From now on, I want you to lean on me whenever things get too unbearable. Can you do that?"

Feeling the genuine warmth in Seonghwa's tone and seeing the unmistakable care in his eyes, you finally broke down. The weight of the revelations, the pain of your father's actions, and the years of emotional torment spilt over, and you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. He pulled you close, cradling you in his arms as you sobbed against his shoulder.

Whispering comforting words into your ear, he pressed gentle kisses onto the top of your head. His touch was a soothing balm, providing the comfort and support you desperately needed in that moment. As you let out your emotions, he held you tighter.

The sound of your heart-wrenching cries only caused an uncomfortable squeeze in his heart. The general had never experienced this kind of ache before. Throughout his life, he had always believed that no one had a tougher life than he did. But then you came along, with your fragile form, managing to shake his entire world and alter his perspectives on life. All of a sudden, the notion of having someone to protect and care for didn't seem so repulsive, especially when it was you.

You slowly pulled back, staring up at him through your wet lashes, and offered a grateful smile, "Seonghwa, I want to thank you for doing all this for me. I never imagined someone caring enough to go through all that trouble. I promise, in return, I'll try my hardest to be a worthy wife for you."

He wiped away your tears tenderly and gazed into your eyes, "You don't need to prove anything, my love. You're already perfect, just as you are."

Your heart raced, and your eyes widened as you stuttered, "W-wait, what... what did you just call me?"

He stilled, realising the words that had slipped from his mouth before he softened. Leaning close, he pressed his forehead against yours, "My love."

Seonghwa's presence became almost intoxicating. Feeling him so close, as if with a mind of its own, your eyes slowly fluttered closed. He took that as permission to lean in further, and after what felt like an eternity, his lips touched yours in a soft and tentative kiss. When you didn't push him away, he bravely angled his head before pressing his lips firmly against yours.

Finally, our first kiss.

Pulling away after a while to catch your breath, you bit your lip shyly, "I-I'm sorry if I wasn't—"

He shook his head, "Don't worry, it's my first time kissing someone too," He admitted, struggling to take his eyes off your swollen lips. A soft smile played on his lips as he caressed your cheek with his thumb, "Can I..." He asked with half-lidded eyes, and you nodded breathlessly.

Without wasting another moment, he captured your lips in another loving kiss. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the warmth of each other's presence. His touch was gentle yet filled with a depth of emotion. As the kiss deepened, you felt a rush of emotions, a mix of vulnerability and passion.

Feeling the need for air, he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes met, and you could see the affection and sincerity in his gaze, "You're perfect." He whispered, his voice filled with tenderness, realising that kissing you might just be his new favourite thing to do from now onwards. The moment lingered, the air charged with newfound emotions. It was a beginning, a sweet promise of the love that had blossomed between you.

"Your Majesty, please—"

The King slammed his fists against the handle of his throne, causing the minister to gasp and lower his head. He shook like a leaf, awaiting his impending doom as the ruler declared, "I don't want to hear another word from you, Jang. You're a bloody disappointment. Actually, you're worse than that, you monster."

Kneeling beside your father were your stepmother and stepsisters, equally trembling. Pathetic tears rolled down their cheeks as they attempted to put on a pity show, hoping to move His Majesty's heart. However, their efforts did little to appease his rage. He scoffed in disbelief at their audacity to cry, considering all the despicable things they had done to you and your mother.

This marked the first time the four women had set foot in the palace, and little did they anticipate it would be under such circumstances. The visit might also be their only time here, as the imminent judgement from the King would decide their fate.

Seonghwa stood in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, an amused expression on his face. He left home that morning after a lingering kiss on your lips, feeling rejuvenated and determined. Choosing not to burden you with the details of today's assembly, he shielded you from further thoughts about your family.

Don't worry, my love. I'll make sure they suffer a punishment worse than death.

"I can't stand to look at you imbeciles for another moment longer. Let's get this over with already. Royal Secretary Choi, would you be so kind as to enlighten us with all of Minister Jang's crimes and his punishments?" said the King.

Stepping forward from his corner next to the throne, San bowed, "As you wish, Your Majesty," Tugging open the scroll in his hands, he began reading out loud, "Minister Jang has committed a total of five crimes. First, he committed adultery voluntarily, and for that, he will be whipped with eighty lashes. Second, he committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, he will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

Dread filled the minister as he gulped, anxiously listening to the secretary move on to the next section, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of his own daughter, an innocent citizen, he will be flogged thirty times. Next, for violating the code of ethics as a minister, which is to be a law-abiding citizen, he will be stripped of his title and flogged another twenty times."

As your father's hands trembled, he attempted to hold himself up by pressing his sweaty palms against the floor, breathing heavily as he awaited the final and most severe punishment. San continued, "And finally, for the murder of his first wife, an innocent citizen, he will be sentenced to permanent exile."

That's... it?

Feeling a sliver of hope, the old man let out a small sigh of relief. At least it wasn't death by beheading or arsenic poisoning as he had feared. Banishment seemed acceptable; he supposed he could still live a quiet life somewhere away from here. Bowing deeply, he cried, "Thank you, Your Majesty! Your grace is immeasurable!"

All the ministers and officials present quickly stole glances at Seonghwa, wondering if he would throw a fit and object to the punishment that was yet to be the heaviest one. However, they failed to discern his feelings, as there was only an unreadable smirk on his handsome face.

Lady Jang and her daughters trembled as they awaited their turn. With a nod from the King, the secretary continued, "Moving on, Lady Jang has committed a total of four crimes. First, she voluntarily committed adultery, and for that, she will be whipped eighty lashes. Second, she committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, she will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

She nodded to herself, seemingly already accepting her fate, as she listened, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, she will be flogged thirty times. And finally, for being an accomplice to the murder of the first Lady Jang, she will be sentenced to penal servitude for life."

Her eyes shot up immediately, finding it hard to accept that she would be separated from her husband. She had believed she, too, would be exiled along with him. But she quickly lowered her gaze as soon as she saw the glare the King had directed at her, as if daring her to complain about it.

Oh god, my life is over...

Noticing the King's patience wearing thin, San quickly concluded with the final sentencing, "Lastly, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, the three young misses of the Jang family will be flogged thirty times each and sentenced to penal servitude for a total of thirty years."

All three of the sisters' jaws fell slack at their punishment. After living luxurious lives like spoiled brats for so long, they were now expected to be servants, performing hard labour for three decades. All their dreams of getting married and leading comfortable lives were shattered. The prospect of finding suitors after serving their sentences seemed bleak. Their lives were forever ruined, and things would never be the same.

"Now that that's settled, remove these individuals from my sight, and see to it that they receive their physical punishments by today. I don't want their presence contaminating my palace walls any longer than necessary. Moving on to the next agenda, let us discuss who will stand in as the interim Minister of Military Affairs until we elect a new one." The ruler grumbled, waving his hands dismissively.

Seonghwa grinned smugly, relishing the way your father's face fell as he absorbed His Majesty's words. The King fully intended to drive the point home, reminding him that, no matter how much he believed he contributed to the nation, he, too, was just as disposable. Consider it emotional torment for further punishment, if you will.

As the members of the Jang family were forcefully pulled to their feet and guided toward the palace torture chamber where all punishments for criminals were administered, the general bowed deeply, "Your Majesty, forgive this humble subject for not feeling too well. Would it be possible for me to excuse myself from the remainder of today's assembly?"

With a knowing glint in his eyes, the King nodded, "Of course, my boy. Nothing matters more than your well-being. I'll have Royal Secretary Choi send you the minutes of today's meeting later on."

All eyes were fixed on your husband as he confidently exited the hall, wearing an excessively pleased expression, looking a little too content to be feeling unwell as he had claimed. It became evident to everyone that he was plotting something, a scheme that even His Majesty was privy to and had tacitly approved.

"P-please, have mercy!"

Screams reverberated within the dim and eerie confines of the torture chamber, a place the general once frequented during his duties of interrogating spies, war criminals, and suspicious individuals to maintain peace within the nation.

The familiar sounds of your family's agonising cries filled his ears, and he couldn't suppress the chuckle that escaped his lips as he entered, "Ah yes, music to my ears."

Upon his arrival, all the royal guards present swiftly bowed deeply and greeted Seonghwa with respect, "Good day, General Park!" They dared not continue until he gave them a nod, "Go on, don't let me stop you. I'm only here to enjoy the show."

"Yes, sir!" They chanted in unison. To many young soldiers and palace guards, he was akin to a god, an embodiment of success they aspired to achieve one day. Therefore, his mere presence motivated them to perform their duties with increased ruthlessness and precision.

Taking a seat in the centre of the room, your husband bit his lip with a smug expression, locking eyes with your father whose gaze reflected anguish. The elderly man lay face down on a wooden table, enduring lash after lash on his already bloody and battered back. His painful ordeal was far from over.

Whimpering, your father pleaded, "S-Seonghwa, I'm s-still your father-in-law! Please, at least show a little mercy to your wife's father!" Beside him, his wife nodded pathetically, sharing the same painful fate. Meanwhile, the three daughters stood frozen in a corner, wrists cuffed, awaiting their turn to face their beatings.

A devilish laughter escaped the general as he shot a menacing glare at the former minister, "Oh, I'm sorry, was that supposed to make things any better? I would show you mercy if only you had shown my wife any. You shouldn't have said anything, you fool," Turning to the guard in charge of whipping your father, your husband ordered, "Not hard enough, soldier. I want to see his skin tear."

"Yes, sir!" Striking with increased force, the lashes landed on the old man's back, inflicting wounds that would take months to heal. The continuous shrieks of pain only served to widen the smile on Seonghwa's face, "And to think you were thanking His Majesty for his grace; you've underestimated the severity of being whipped, haven't you? Did you really think you were going to walk out of here with a small bruise? Dream on."

"Oh, I can't wait for all of you to experience the wonders of flogging! It will be delightful, a punishment perfectly suited for your kind." The general sang, eyeing the three girls slyly.

They cowered under his intense gaze, suddenly regretting every action they took on the day of your visit. Perhaps if they hadn't attempted any of those, they might have gotten away with a lighter sentence. But there was no point dwelling on such thoughts now.

"Father! Mother!" The girls cried, witnessing their parents only now completing the first half of their punishment. Before they could continue their wailing, guards approached them, saying, "Quiet down! Worry about yourselves instead; it's your turn."

The former minister and his wife looked practically lifeless by the time the guards were finished with their hundred lashes each. The skin on their backs was completely torn open, blood gushing out relentlessly. They were nearly unconscious by the time the guards moved them to separate poles, where they would be beaten with a heavy stick all over their bodies.

Letting out a small yawn, Seonghwa signalled for them to prepare for the flogging. This would be entertaining to witness; most criminals barely survived this punishment by the time it concluded. He would relish the idea of them being left in critical conditions.

"Enjoy yourselves! Thirty times each for what you've all done to my wife – just the perfect amount to leave you halfway to hell. Don't worry; you'll wish you were dead by the end of this. But rest assured, we will keep you alive," Your husband exclaimed with a clap of his hands, "Now, I want you to think of all the things you've done to my wife as you endure this. Can we all do that?"

In the ensuing silence, the guards approached each family member, forcefully striking them with the heavy sticks in their hands. With just one hit, all of them began howling in pain, "Answer the general! Can you all do as you are told?!"

"Y-yes! Yes!" All five of them sobbed miserably, and the general beamed, "Fantastic! Now, let the official flogging begin! The first one does not count, alright? Consider it warm up!"

The insanity in his eyes was genuinely terrifying, and your family was once again reminded of his reputation. Suddenly, it all made sense. This was how it felt to be a victim of his cruelty. They never should have sent you to him; that was their biggest mistake, and nothing they do or say could ever change that now.

"Yes, sir!"

And so it began, the screams that now filled the room were even more piercing than the ones during the first round of whipping.

Approaching each family member one by one, Seonghwa smirked, "Remember all the times you starved her?" Jinjoo nodded in between shrieks, "Good. And you, recall all the times you insulted her and made her feel small?" Jinhee repeated her sister's actions, nodding furiously, "Very good. And you, remember all the times you did something wrong and blamed it on her so that she would take your punishments for you?"

Jinah cried, tears and snot running down her sweaty face, "I'm sorry!" He shook his head, "Will saying a useless sorry change anything? Nope. Hit her harder, soldier," With a grin of approval, he moved on to your stepmother, "And you, recall all the times you kept her locked up in that prison cell you call her room?" Not wanting to suffer like her eldest, she nodded aggressively, "Good."

Finally stopping in front of your father, he crossed his arms over his chest, "And you, remember all the times you laid your hands on her? Your own daughter?" The former minister nodded quickly but was not spared, "Good, hit him even harder so he never forgets how it feels."

"Twenty-nine, thirty." The beatings stopped for the four women, and they collapsed one by one onto the floor like rag dolls. Blood trickled from their noses and the corners of their lips, their bodies covered in countless bruises and open wounds, soaking their clothes red. And that is only what can be seen on the outside; who knew what fatal internal injuries they could be suffering from.

With his hands propped on his hips, Seonghwa took in the sight with satisfaction, "Very well, some of these scars should last you for life. Now, you look as bad as the way you'd left my wife. Actually, worse. But that's good. I'm very happy with the outcome. Guards, take them away and make sure to send them to places where they're known to treat their servants poorly."

The girls sobbed upon hearing that, "General, please, have mercy! We've already suffered enough!" Your husband scoffed, "Mercy? Have you not been paying attention this entire time? I'm not known for that. Get them out of my sight."

As the guards dragged the wailing women out, they cried for their husband and father. The former minister yelled, still taking his twenty additional beatings as he watched his wife and daughters go, "W-will you not at least let me say my final goodbyes to them?"

"Minister, please don't make me laugh. Did you also allow my wife and her poor mother a final goodbye?" The old man had nothing to say at that, grunts of pain escaping his lips as he tried to endure the remainder of his punishment despite feeling like all of his insides had been beaten to mush at this point. He didn't have to look down to know that he was soaked in blood; he could feel the sting on his wounds whenever the slightest bit of wind blew past.

Just a bit more, and I'm free.

« Preview of Part 11 »

"Forty-nine, fifty." Your father sighed in relief when the punishment finally ceased. Collapsing to the ground upon being untied, he stared blankly ahead, feeling pain throughout his entire body. Slowly but surely, he slipped into unconsciousness due to the loss of blood.

Unfortunately, his respite was short-lived. A bucket of dirty water was abruptly dumped over him, causing him to scream in agony as the injuries on his body stung intensely, bringing tears to his eyes.

"Did you think it was over?" His blood ran cold as he noticed he was now tied to a chair, unable to move. With most of the guards gone, only him and Seonghwa remained.

"What do you think you're doing, general? I've completed all my physical punishments; you're supposed to banish me now!" The old man croaked, his eyes widening in fear as he noticed the dagger in your husband's hand.

The general burst into laughter, "Oh, minister, you can be quite slow at times. Did you genuinely believe that His Majesty's decision not to sentence you to death was an act of kindness? Who do you think requested your exile?"

"Y-you—"

Seonghwa smirked, "Indeed, it was me. Killing you would have been too merciful. No, I want you to endure a life so filled with pain that you wish for death every single day. Now, after seeing how skilled you were at begging all day, I believe you'd make a very talented beggar. Do you know what would make you a successful beggar?"

Tears streaming down his face, your father shook his head hopelessly as your husband traced the blade against his skin before whispering, "One without limbs."

That was the most violence I have ever written HAHA I had to channel my inner Joker for Seonghwa's character. Anyway, I hope that was satisfying enough!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

Tag list (1/5): @huachengsbestie01 @evidive @weedforthoughtz @ssrnghwa @yunnieo @sunnyhokyu @lynnsqueendom @frobin4ever @chwesuh-imnida @thunderous-wolf @itstheghostofmypast @professormingisglasses @deltamoon666 @avantalem @famishalll @yungilia @soobiverse @joongified @scuzmunkie @http-gyu @mentoslol @atinyreads @angel-hyuckie @anxiousskylar @onedumbho3 @narashii @ddaeing @sanstreasure0305 @sohnfile @scarfac3 @dreamingofyeo @puppyminnnie @tinyteezer @vantediary @satsuri3su @mismatchfluffysocks @aliona124754 @bts-army380 @lilactangerine @atinyniki @pay13 @1117promises @xoxkii @st4rcig4r @hikarii02 @nescaffei @xdolls-crownx @ashrocker123 @skzline @minkiflwr @starssongs98 @baeksofty @skz1-4-3 @kawaiikels @madnpan @maoyueze @en-happiness @cheolliehugs @persnyako @startinystay @chngbnwf @fatspecimen @christinerose380 @stfu-rina @kyukyustar @taytayy178 @appleschre @brielle-in-the-galaxy

Tag list (cont.): see comment/reply section

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

Hi! If you are still taking requests, I'd love a head cannon with marrying the companions at the castle, and how they would feel? Thank you for considering this! ❤️

Marrying the Fo4 Companions at the Castle

➼ Word Count » 1.7k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Romantic ➼ A/N » I didn't add Codsworth because I couldn't stop thinking about Nate/Nora dying and then their spouse remarrying their butler. Felt too awkward😭

MacCready never imagined that he'd ever find someone who would love him as much as Lucy did and still know of his entire past. It makes him hopeful that Duncan could actually get a second partner to rely on in the future. He's never been too close with any of the Minutemen but, I imagine if he had to pick he'd choose them as his preferred faction. So, being married at the Castle wouldn't be an issue for him, but he'd get married just about anywhere as long as it meant you'd be the one he got to marry. It's one of the only times he doesn't intentionally pick a fight with Preston as he desperately wants his help with making him look his best. He knows he won't steer him wrong, since he's so close to you. He's so fidgety and nervous, but couldn't be more thrilled to devote the rest of his life to you.

Nick doesn't mind getting married at the Castle. If you'd asked him, he would've suggested the All Faiths Chapel, but in hindsight, the Castle seems a tad more appropriate for the two of you. Especially, when you consider that most of your loved ones are either already there or close enough in range to reach it safely. He cleans himself up quite nicely for the occasion, having Sturges help polish off his body's more visible aspects. He's a sucker for vintage weddings, and if you could somehow convince either Strong or a group of Minutemen soldiers to move one of those old cars into the venue, he'd consider proposing to you all over again.

Cait couldn’t care less where you two got married. She’s just glad that she’s going to marry you at all. Even if the Minutemen get on her nerves, she can’t help but find herself teary-eyed at the thought that you love her enough to even want to marry her. Even if it's almost certain that she's going to get into an argument of some sort with one of the faction members, she's still going to do her best to get along with everyone at the venue and make it fun for the both of you. She's never been a big fan of weddings and would prefer it if you only invited a small number of people, but besides that, she'll do her best to be as vulnerable with you as she possibly can on this day. Her being completely upfront and honest with you about how she feels is the least she could do after everything you've both been through together. It's the most emotional you have ever, and probably will ever see again.

There aren't many places at the Boston Airport that make sense to use for a venue so, Danse understands why the Castle is where you'd want to hold it. Even if they aren't Brotherhood, Danse still holds a lot of respect for the Minutemen soldiers and wouldn't mind playing nice if it meant making this day more memorable for you. He might even come to find that him and Sturges have a lot more in common than he initially thought. With them both being interested in power armor and whatnot. Danse is sorta like a puppy when it comes to these things, anywhere you want to go and anything you want to do, he's fully on board with. The location doesn't matter to him, as long as he's able to slip a ring on your finger. He's mainly just glad to be apart of your life in such a meaningful way and he hopes it'll stay that way for a long time to come.

Preston couldn't be happier to share this moment with you in a place he holds in such high regard. Especially since everyone he cares about is right here with you both in this moment. There’s nowhere more perfect in his mind and he’s overjoyed to be able to marry you despite the world being so tainted. It makes him that much more determined to defend the Commonwealth knowing that there are people like you still living in it. He does everything in his power to make the day go as smoothly as you could ever hope. He doesn't rest until the venue looks just as you described it to him, every little detail you dreamed about to him set in stone before your big day. Nothing is out of place, and he can't wait to see your expression when you see the effort he put into it all.

Piper had always been too enamored in her work to really consider a day when she'd get married to someone. She surprises herself when she agrees to commit herself to you for the rest of her life but, she supposes it's a welcomed one. The Castle would not have been her first choice when thinking of places to get married. If it were up to her, she would've picked somewhere on the coast. So, the two of you compromise and do it just outside the Castle on the sandy parts of the territory. She finds it to be much nicer on the outskirts, especially with the soft sound of the waves in the background. Nat makes the perfect flower girl for the occasion and she makes sure you're feeling more laid-back about the day rather than stressed. A light-hearted, casual wedding on the beach is all she could ever want.

Curie is so excited to wear a white dress! She’s read about this ritual before, but being able to partake in it is something she finds lovely! She couldn't care less where it happens, as long as the two of you can make it as accurate to the pre-war version as you can. She'll spend hours rambling to the Minutemen soldiers about all sorts of different topics out of being so nervous, but luckily for her, they're kind enough to just let her talk. Being able to experience something that holds such high importance to couples helps her to feel more human in her new body. There are so many different things she wants to do to further implement her as a person, and what better way to start than by getting married?

Strong doesn’t want to get married. It didn’t seem to work out all that well with Macbeth, so why would he want that for himself? Can’t you be a unit together without all your weird human rituals? Besides, there's no way anyone would ever get him into a classier outfit.

Hancock would’ve preferred to have married you in Goodneighbor since it's his home and everyone he planned to invite is there. But he's honestly so head over heels for you that he’d marry you in the glowing sea if that’s what you desired. He'll just ask to have two weddings instead of one, that way both of your 'families' can witness it without it being too much of a hassle. He's actually kinda glad your first wedding will be held at the Castle because he can't tie a tie to save his life, and Preston is way nicer about it than anyone in Goodneighbor would be. This way, he can learn and not be teased about it every time he walks into his own town, and Preston promises to keep his secret for him.

Deacon feels uncomfortable about getting married in front of everyone. He’d rather you go somewhere where it’s only you two and slide a ring on each other's fingers after saying your vows. No crowd, no long tradition. He's really nervous about the wedding, especially since it's being held in a place that means so much to you and to everyone else in the Minutemen. He wants to make this special, but his fear of being vulnerable is slowly killing him. He's so afraid that he'll get to the front of the makeshift alter and make a fool of himself. He's so shaky that you almost have to go over and ask how he's doing. He'll do it for you, just know he's having a few drinks beforehand to encourage his more charismatic side out of him. If that doesn't prove his love for you, I don't know what does.

X6-88 would hate it but would be surprisingly quiet about it for your sake. He thinks the Castle is disgusting, and he doesn’t particularly like the Minutemen, even if you are the general, but he wants this to be your day and so he’ll marry you where you want. The Institute would’ve been cleaner, and he could’ve arranged nicer decorations, but he supposes it doesn’t matter, as it’ll be him putting a ring on you either way. He can look forward to that, at least.

Old Longfellow would be pretty open about not wanting to get married there. He wants to compromise a little bit with you, as all of his closest friends are in Far Harbor and all of yours are in the Commonwealth. If anything he’d prefer to marry you in a place somewhere in the middle of those two places. You'll have to sit down with him and decide on a place that works for both of you and, if you can't find one, he has no issue just being with you. He's a firm believer in not needing to be married to prove your love for your partner. So, if that's how it ends up being, that's how it'll be.

Gage never imagined he’d ever get married, let alone at a Minutemen settlement. What were the odds? It’d take a lot of convincing to get Preston to agree to let you get married to a raider in the Castle. He gets slight flashbacks to Quincy at the thought of someone like him entering Minutemen territory so freely. But, as much as he disproves your relationship, he’ll let go of his grudge for the day so you two can get married. Security is amped up like crazy though. Gage personally doesn’t care where he gets married as long as it’s not in Nuka-World. The gang members aren’t too fond of the ritual and will begin to look down on both of you for participating in something so “classy”. It’s best if they don’t know.

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Ok, I just read your sweet yandere post and would like to add something.

I love the idea of like a mafia boss yandere or someone who is usually cruel (like maybe a Hades sort of character) but is an absolute sweet heart to their darling. One of my fave tropes

OOOOOOH I LOVE THIS TROPE! I have a character who's just like this actually, a total sweetheart to whoever he's with but has a very low tolerance for most other people.

Sorry, this is a long one lol

I'm gonna make headcanons now because you've inspired me lol.

(Banner/divider credit goes to @cafekitsune)!

Tw: Kidnapping, mentions of violence

Mafia boss! Charlie who is no stranger to violence. He's lived his entire life surrounded by it, in fact. Having a mafia boss for a father will do that to you, he guesses.

Mafia boss! Charlie who's spent his whole life working for the mafia, being trained to kill, smuggle, and deal ever since he was a child. He grew up living a life of crime, rising up the ranks (thanks to his father), before taking over as the boss when his father was killed by an unruly client.

Mafia boss! Charlie who's a cruel, ruthless man. He's killed dozens of people, injured many more, and runs his organization with an iron fist. He may be young, but he's learned enough to know that any show of trust, any display of kindness is a show of weakness, a show of vulnerability. He can't afford that, not when he's the head of the mafia, so he makes sure to make it so that no one will question or challenge his authority by any means necessary.

Mafia boss! Charlie who has very few real friends, keeping those he does have at an arm's length. He'd rather die than admit that he craves real relationships, that he desires to make genuine, true connections with others. But he can't, so he pushes his wants to the side, reminding himself that his only purpose is to keep his business running smoothly, nothing more.

Until he sees you, that is.

Mafia boss! Charlie who meets you out on a grocery run one day. Your interaction is nothing special, at least to you, but Charlie can't help but marvel at how easily you make conversation with him while ringing up his items, how seemingly unfazed you are by his snappy attitude and unapproachable appearance. It's been a long, long time since he's met anyone unafraid of him, and those people are usually rivals who are too cocky for their own good. So this, this is new. He knows it's stupid, he knows that your tiny interaction shouldn't have mattered much to someone like him, but he can't help but feel giddy about the connection he's sure he felt.

Mafia boss! Charlie who, against his better judgment, wastes no time in trying to find out who you are. It's not hard, he has an entire organization full of trained trackers, stalkers, and informants at his disposal, and by the end of the day, he has your full name, address, social media accounts, family tree, medical records, and much more safely in his welcoming hands. He knows this is a bit overkill considering he only met you today and your interaction lasted five minutes at most, but now that he has a taste of real human interaction, he's addicted. He needs more.

Mafia boss! Charlie who quickly becomes awestruck and obsessed with you. His whole life, he's been surrounded by the craftiest, cruelest, most violent people imaginable, so to see someone, especially someone as precious as you, live a completely normal life, naive to the dangers he faces everyday? It's captivating! Of course, he can't follow you all day, he is a mafia boss after all, but he has enough people following you around and recording your every move that he doesn't need to! He's never been happier to be who his is than now.

Mafia boss! Charlie who thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world. You're a sweet little thing, too gentle and too unaware of the dangers around you for your own good. He loves everything about you, no matter how weird or embarrassing. He's content to watch you carefully for a couple months, but as time goes on, his need to feel our touch, to talk to you, to see you face to face is too much. He needs you. He needs you NOW. It doesn't help that you're so vulnerable and weak compared to him, with no knowledge of weaponry or stealth to keep you safe. What if someone were to try and hurt you? Of course, his goons wouldn't let that happen, not if they wanted to keep their organs, but he would feel so much better if he could keep an eye on you personally. Not to mention, every mafia boss needs a spouse, and some of his higher ranking associates have been hinting that it's about time he found someone...

Mafia boss! Charlie who immediately starts planning your "transfer" to his house, meticulously drafting out every last detail to secure your safety. He chooses his best, most skilled employees to carry out his plan, only the best for his darling, and sends them out to bring you "home". That day you come home from work, completely unaware of the people in your apartment, completely unaware of the sleeping pills dumped into your water while you weren't looking.

Mafia boss! Charlie who's ecstatic to finally have you with him, to finally have someone to hold, to talk to, to love. He brings your unconscious body to your new room, laying you softly on the bed while instructing his employees to pack up all your belongings and bring them to him. He doesn't tie you down or chain you up, he has enough security measures in place to make sure you won't be able to escape. You won't even be able to leave your room without him being notified.

Mafia boss! Charlie who watches the camera in your room as you wake up for the first time in your new home, confused and disoriented. All of your stuff is here, but this is NOT your apartment. Where are you? He watches as you start to freak out, guilt flashing through him for the first time in his life. He doesn't want you to be scared, he just wants to keep you safe!

Mafia boss! Charlie who sends one of his gentler employees into your room to explain everything, too afraid of scaring you even further by showing up himself. He waits a few days before revealing himself to you, when your terror has calmed down and you've become more familiar with your surroundings. He kind of just stands there, unable to formulate a sentence, which is extremely unnerving to you. You've been told you're to be married to a highly respected and violent mafia boss, and here he is, just...staring. When he opens his mouth to speak, your surprised at how soft his voice is, calmly explaining to you that you're safe, you won't be hurt. He reaches out his hand to touch you, but recoils when you flinch, not wanting to push you.

Mafia boss! Charlie who does everything he can to make you more comfortable and less afraid of him, getting you anything and everything you've ever shown interest in, giving you as much space as you need, and letting you roam the rather large house freely. All you can't do is leave. He doesn't understand why you're still so scared, sure he's a criminal, but he promised he would never hurt you!

Mafia boss! Charlie who gets more desperate for your love as time goes on. He starts appearing in whatever room your in, softly talking to you about his day or about whatever you're doing, trying to get you to be more comfortable with him. Once you've gotten used to that, he starting slowly initiating physical contact, holding you in his arms like he's never going to let you go (because he won't). He tried his hardest not to push your boundaries, but eventually his need to be near you becomes too great. Rest assured though, he would never, ever dream of hurting you or purposely scaring you.

Mafia boss! Charlie who can't get enough of the feeling of your skin on his. He starts hugging/cuddling you whenever he can, holding you like you'll break if he presses too hard. He's always near you, cuddling up to you while telling you about how much he loves you, adoration shining in his eyes. He's the clingiest at night though, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you fall asleep, him watching over you until he succumbs to his own tiredness. And his kisses? They are the softest, fluffiest thing you've ever felt. He cannot get enough of your lips, and he always kisses you passionately, like you'll disappear once he separates from you. With how loving and gentle he is, it doesn't take long for you to start loving him back.

Mafia boss! Charlie who starts giving you more privileges the farther you fall into stockholm. He'll even start taking you out in public on dates once he thinks there's no chance of you trying to escape him. He'd be able to find you if you did, he has many, many connections, but he trusts you won't. He loves going out with you and doing normal, coupley things with you, it's a nice break from his usual, violent life.

Mafia boss! Charlie who is insanely protective of you, never leaving you alone in a room with anyone except for himself. He knows how dangerous it is to be associated with him and now that he has you, he refuses to let anything happen to you. Any rival who attempts to hurt, kill, or kidnap you is met with Charlie himself, who enacts the most brutal, torturous death he can possibly think of on them. Nobody will come close to hurting you, he'll make sure of it. But no matter what happens, he'll always make sure you're far, far away from the violence. He never wants to subject you to the horrors he's seen (and done).

Mafia boss! Charlie who feels awful the first time you hear him raise his voice. It wasn't at you of course, he would never, ever think of yelling at his darling, you just happened to be in the room when he was meeting with one of his associates. It's scary seeing him yell, threatening brutal acts of violence on his own employee, and for the first time you realize how different he is with others than he is with you. He's quick to shut the meeting down once he realizes you're there, spending the rest of the night apologizing to you and assuring you he would never speak to you like that. This'll be the first time he truly opens up about what his job is like and why he has to be as cruel as he is, trying to help you understand why he behaved the way he did. It's difficult for him to make himself vulnerable, but he'd gladly to it if it meant easing your mind. From then on, he makes absolute sure you aren't around whenever he has to take care of business. He refuses to let you see him like that ever again.

Mafia boss! Charlie who never lets you forget how much he needs you in his life. You're the only thing keeping him from devolving into insanity, he wouldn't know how to handle himself if you were gone. He'll give you everything and anything if you listen to him and stay by his side, so please... please don't try to leave him.

Not that you would be able to, anyway.

[sopebubbles]

Master List

Six

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: Yoongi and Hobi are going to give you (almost) everything you need to feel better.

Warnings: allusions to/descriptions of past abuse. Honestly this chapter is mostly fluff (by my standards of fluff). Yoongi is just 🫠

Wc: 8.5k ;)

A/n: if you've not read The Lore™️ I recommend that you do so. Also if you don't follow me and don't see my random posts, m/c is very smol, like probably under 5 foot.

Alpha smells so good, the tiny voice in your head preened, happier than she had sounded in years. Thank you, thank you, thank you, she chanted as you breathed deeper, and despite the fact that his arms were the only things you could feel, you felt more grounded in that moment than you had felt in days. Not that you would ever admit it. 

The moment was too brief for your omega's liking. It seemed before any time had passed at all that your bottom landed in a chair. You looked up at the alpha like he had just taken the air from your lungs as he pulled away from you. Wordlessly, he nudged the shoulder of a taller alpha, and the male moved into the empty chair beside him. 

"Yoongi, are you sure this is a good idea?" A voice asked. There was something familiar about it, and it might have been the pack alpha, Seokjin, but for the life of you, you couldn't take your eyes off the one who had carried you here. Yoongi. Yoongi smells like Tangerines, your inner voice cooed. 

"She'll be fine. She needs to eat now. So everyone will be on their best behavior," Yoongi said in his smooth, deep voice. "Aren't you hungry, princess?"

Vaguely, you were aware of your head nodding and the sound of someone choking to your left. Yoongi picked up a glass from beside the plate in front of you and filled it with orange juice from a glass pitcher. 

"Can you drink this for me, pup?" He offered you the glass and you took it with both hands, but even so you couldn't stop shaking, and a little splashed over the sides onto your hand. "That's okay," he assured you when your lips turned into a frown. The drink was removed from your hands, and they were quickly wiped clean. For the first time you looked around the table to see six pairs of eyes fixed solely on you. Startled, you began to draw away from Yoongi's touch, wanting to curl in on yourself and escape their view. 

"Don't you all have your own dinners to eat?" Yoongi reminded them with a subtle growl. Clinking utensils and murmured requests to pass dishes were their response. Once more, Yoongi gently guided your gaze back to him with a touch of his fingertips. "Just focus on me right now, alright pup? Let me hold your glass and just have a small drink. It will make you feel better in no time," he encouraged with a smile so soft you didn't know what you could do but obey. You let him press the glass carefully to your lips before he tilted it up. The tangy juice coated your tongue, more sour than sweet. It must have been freshly squeezed. It smelled like him. You gulped it down greedily and earned an even wider smile from your—the alpha. He drew the glass away and gave you a soft pat on the top of your head before he pulled his own chair closer to yours and finally sat. He spoke to the others for a few moments as dishes continued to circulate the table, but you didn't hear a word of it. Your consciousness seemed trained entirely on the features of his face, the way his soft pink lips moved as he talked and the slight pull that made him smile, his cute round nose and cat-like eyes. Pretty, pretty, pretty, the you that wasn't you chanted. 

Finally his attention was back on you and you had to focus on hearing the words he was saying when he looked at you again. He was holding a fork of scrambled eggs in your direction. You reached out for it but he took your hand and held it easily. 

"You're still shaking. Let me do it. Open." His voice was soft, but you knew it was a command, and you obeyed before it occurred to you to protest further. How strange to be fed by another person, but the gentle way he did it, without discomfort or clumsiness, suggested that this wasn't his first time. He watched attentively as you chewed and swallowed before he offered you another mouthful. 

"Do you want syrup?" He asked after you finished your eggs. You cocked your head at his question. "On your pancakes," he clarified. You still felt so fuzzy around the edges, whether it was because your blood sugar hadn't picked up yet or you were just out of it, you made no answer. 

"Everyone likes syrup, hyung," one of the others commented on your behalf. 

Yoongi nodded and poured syrup on top of the pancakes in front of him. He cut a triangular piece and lifted it in front of your face, giving you a raised eyebrow when you didn't immediately open your mouth. The instant he delivered the bite, your tongue exploded with a sweetness you had never tasted before. The moan that followed shocked everyone, including you. Your face heated with shame as they all laughed.

"I guess that was your first time," Jin said, smiling when you looked at him. "You'll never go back."

"Jin hyung insists on only real maple syrup," Yoongi told you, refocusing your attention with another fork full. 

You stared into his eyes briefly before you snatched the fork from his fingers and turned it around to push the food into his gaping mouth. "Eat," you said with a pout. The others erupted into cackling while Yoongi chewed slowly, his cheeks and ears turning from pink to deep red.

"I think she can handle it now, hyung," Jimin said, grinning from ear to ear. 

The alpha nodded shyly and pushed your plate closer to you before picking up his own fork. You continued eating on your own, quickly clearing your plate. You hadn't realized how hungry you actually were. When your plate was empty, you started to stand to leave them in peace, but Yoongi placed a hand on your lower thigh, using very little force to put you back in your seat.

"Stay," he ordered, turning your bones to jelly with one simple word. Before you knew what was happening, one of the taller alphas took your plate, giving you a boxy smile, and you could only whine after him. "Did you want more?" Yoongi asked, but you shook your head. It was the idea of an alpha cleaning up after you that filled you with dread. You should be doing that. But Yoongi wouldn't let you. Would you be punished for it later? You looked up at the alpha with bewilderment. 

Yoongi swallowed the last bite of his dinner and washed it down with juice. His hand moved from your leg to your hair and a shiver like you've never known rippled down your spine. He smiled. "You listen so well, pup," he told you softly. "Tae and Jimin will clean this up. Hobi has gone to run you a bath and then he will fix your bed. Does that sound alright?" 

Why was your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth? You'd barely been able to speak one word to him since you woke up to him hovering over you. You needed to protest because none of this was correct. It wasn't making any sense. But you couldn't argue because he made it sound right. You just nodded. He smiled once again before he stood and leaned over you like he was about to lift you up again. You squeaked, finally finding your voice. 

"Walk," you croaked. If you knew his face better you would be able to see the microscopic fall of his smile, but today you couldn't. He nodded and straightened, holding out a hand to help you out of your chair. You took it, surprised at finding yourself unable to pass up an opportunity to touch him again. You got to your feet shakily, but you were determined to walk yourself. He released your hand when you turned to walk back to your room, but your shoulders relaxed as soon as he placed his hands there, guiding you and keeping you steady as his warm palms pressed through your shirt. 

You walked through the bedroom toward the bathroom where the water was running. Hoseok shut it off and turned to you. 

"You have soap, shampoo, conditioner and towels. Do you need anything else?" He asked energetically. 

You raised a hand to your head shyly and cleared your throat before you could speak. "Do you have a brush?"

He didn't answer but simply rushed out of the room, leaving you alone with Yoongi once more. 

"Where are you going?" Jin asked as Hobi whizzed past him on his way to the stairs. 

"Pup needs a brush!" He answered, not changing his velocity. 

Jin sighed heavily. His husband had been uncharacteristically quiet at dinner and there's no doubt it had been because of you. No one knew what kind of black magic the alpha had worked on you to get you to comply, but he knew it affected Hobi that you listened to Yoongi and not him. Now the omega would do anything in his power to get you on his side, if only because he was a little bit of a control freak. That had never bothered Jin. Hobi was always the one with the plan and he was always followed happily along, ever since they were children, before stealing kisses and making future plans, which had been Hobi's ideas too. Jin had never seen anyone not do as his mate said, so had never seen him quite this desperate before. 

"Slow down, sweetheart," Jin admonished as the man came back down the stairs quickly, bearing his hairbrush. Hobi pecked a kiss onto Jin's cheek without slowing his steps too much. He followed to your room and hovered in the doorway as Hobi handed you the brush. 

"Is there anything else you need?" The omega asked when you took it. You shook your head meekly. 

Jin knew the look in Hobi's eyes, the particular curl of his fingers that said he wanted to do it for you. Probably, he wanted to take the brush from your hands and detangle your hair himself. Everyone had done a good job of not noticing during dinner because your presence had been so shocking, but you did look like a fucking disaster. Three days and nights of rolling around in bed, out of your mind, not bathing or taking care of yourself. You looked rough. Jin watched you turn and walk into the bathroom, looking at them as you closed the door as if you weren't certain they were really going to let you go in alone. Yoongi's hands also hovered uncertainly in the air. But they went limp when they heard the lock on the door click. 

"Should we have let her go in there alone?" Hobi asked Yoongi after a second, but the alpha was clearly wondering the same thing. 

"Guys, she might not know anything about being an omega, but I'm sure she has bathing down by now," Jin replied, stepping fully into the room now. 

"I guess," Hobi mumbled. "Quick, help me with the bed." 

Yoongi remained still, so Jin stepped around the bed to pull the fitted sheet from the mattress. He rolled it into a bundle and moved toward the door to take it to the laundry room, but Yoongi stopped him.

"I'll take it," he offered in a rough voice. Hoseok laughed, high and amused, more joyful than Jin had noticed in a few days. 

"You're not gonna make fun of him like you did Namjoon?" Jin asked, almost defensively. 

Hobi shook his head. "Oh, Jinnie, I think he's earned it, don't you?" Yoongi stood holding the sheets with a dopey smile. "He's not just being weird. He's taken a shine to the girl. How did you get her to listen to you, anyway?" 

Yoongi shrugged, his smile turning slightly smug. "I guess she just needed an alpha's touch."

"Whatever you say, hyung. Go take those to the laundry room," Hobi chuckled. "C'mon, Jinnie, help me make the bed." 

"What are you so happy about?" Jin asked abruptly as he helped tuck a new fitted sheet under the corner of the mattress. 

Hoseok smiled as he shook a fluffy blanket over the bed. "I'm going to build her a nest."

"But she doesn't nest," Jin grumbled. It had been one of the things that bothered Hoseok the most about you. He couldn't stop talking about it after he found out.

"She doesn't know how. I bet she's never had one decent nest in her whole life. But I make the best ones, so if I can just show her how nice it is, maybe she'll learn. Or at least maybe she'll be a little more comfortable tonight." He shrugged as he shuffled around the alpha, intent on his task. Jin knew that helping would only get in Hobi's way, so he simply pressed himself to the wall and watched.

"It's not like she deserves it," he mumbled as his mate built up a perimeter, "or will even appreciate it."

"How can you say that?" Hoseok asked, clearly offended. "Everyone deserves a soft nest to lay their head in."

Jin sighed. "I know, but she's been nothing but rotten to you, to all of us but especially you, since she got here."

Hoseok looked at him like he didn't know the man. Jin knew he was being uncharitable in his opinion of you. When you first arrived he was driven as mad as the rest of them by your sweet scent, but his head had since cleared and the way you upset his husband had changed you from an omega in need to a troublesome intruder in his mind, and he didn't feel much like being charitable.

"Jin, you can't hold that against her. She's broken. She doesn't know what she's doing."

"Don't say that about her," Yoongi interrupted. "She could hear you."

"And so what if she does? It's not like she's been particularly concerned about Hobi's feelings."

"Jin, please," Hobi cut him off. "I don't understand why you're lashing out like this."

"I don't like seeing you upset the way she made you yesterday," Jin admitted. 

Hobi stepped close to him and held the alpha's face in his hands. "Baby, I appreciate that you are sticking up for me, but you can't blame her for how she's acting. She's half out of her mind. We don't even know who she really is outside of the heat haze. Yesterday was as much my fault as it was hers. So don't be upset."

Jin closed his eyes as he deflated. "Fine. She can't use this one though," he declared, grabbing a blanket that he only moderately liked off the top of the pile Hobi was pulling from before walking out in a huff.

"Thank you," Yoongi said softly when the other alpha reached the stairs, "for giving her the benefit of the doubt."

"Pfft," Hobi replied as he continued adding soft material to the small nest he was building for you. "It's not for you."

"I know."

Hobi finished and stood with his hands on his hips, taking a moment to admire his work. "What's it to you, anyway? What's she to you?"

Yoongi shrugged, because he didn't yet have a good answer to give.

"She doesn't want an alpha. You understand that, right?" Something like understanding and maybe a bit of pity filled his gaze.

Yoongi nodded. "I know. But that doesn't mean that she doesn't need one. I think she just doesn't know what she needs," he argued, and the omega only hummed in agreement. Yoongi might have elaborated further, but you emerged from the bathroom a moment later with a towel wrapped around your hair, wearing the fresh t-shirt and shorts Hobi had left for you. If you had heard any of their conversation, you showed no sign of it. The alpha's eyes roamed over what little there was of you. Your small frame looked even smaller in his shirt. You were tiny even by omega standards. 

"What?" You asked when they both stood staring at you a moment too long. Yoongi could see you were a bit more yourself now. The color of your irises wasn't so lost  by the pits of your pupils anymore. He hated himself for wishing just a little bit to have you back in that soft state. What if you were about to kick them out?

Yoongi cleared his throat. "Are you feeling better?"

You averted your eyes from his dark stare and nodded. "Thank you." The alpha practically melted over the two softly spoken words. "What's this?" You asked, looking at the pile of blankets arranged on the mattress and then back at the two of them.

"I made you a nest. I thought it might help you sleep. Will you give it a try?" Hoseok asked, hopeful but shy. You swallowed, looking over the nest again, unsure. 

"It will be really good for you," Yoongi encouraged. He wanted to purr at the way he could see your hesitation fall away an inch. 

You tugged the towel from your hair and Hoseok took it immediately from your hands. He wanted more than anything to get at you with a brush and a blow dryer, but he knew that would definitely be too intimate for you. 

"How do I get in it?" You wondered. 

The two men smiled, and without thinking too much about it, Yoongi stepped forward and grasped you firmly around your rib cage. You kicked your feet a little in surprise, but it wasn't much of a protest. Hoseok pulled back one of the top blankets, and Yoongi deposited you directly into the center of the nest, where you let out a little 'oof.' You patted at the blankets all around you, looking smaller than ever surrounded by them. 

"You can adjust them however you like," Hoseok said nervously. 

You took a moment to feel the fabric under your fingers, enjoying the softness, and pulled the blanket on top of you. "I've never had a nest made by an omega before," you admitted quietly. Your eyes were already beginning to glaze over again, with tears or omega space, Yoongi wasn't sure. "This is so nice."

Hoseok's heart swelled, equal parts sorrow and pride. It was a travesty that you had never known an omega's touch, but if he would be the first, he would also be the best. His confidence rose, knowing no one else could do it better. 

"I knew you'd like it." He would thoroughly enjoy telling Jin just how wrong he had been. In response, you only nestled further into the blankets. "I guess you're probably tired. I'll let you get some rest and check on you in the morning," he told you, but he wasn't sure you were listening. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but he thought he heard the shortest of purrs come from the blankets. Hoseok turned to the door with a lingering look at you before he caught Yoongi standing beside your bed and looking at you fondly. "Yoongi hyung, are you coming?" He asked teasingly. 

Yoongi shook his head dazily. "No. I'm going to stay and watch over her."

"Yoongi," Hobi said, all teasing gone, his voice flat and serious.

The alpha turned to look at him just as seriously. "I promise I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to get in there with her or anything. I'm just not ready to leave her. What if something happens?" Hobi gave him a concerned frown. "I have to leave in a few hours for work anyway. Just give me a little while to make sure she's safe."

At that, Hobi walked back to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Alright, hyung. But let me get you a chair so you're not standing over her bed all night like a creep."

He went to the kitchen for a chair and set it by the door so that Yoongi could give you a little space and then let him be. Yoongi sat and watched the pile of blankets rustle for several minutes, listening happily to the broken little chirps and grumbles you made as you explored the nest. His scent fluffed around him, unintentionally at first, but then he hoped it would reach you and be a welcome addition to your cocoon. When it did reach you, your head emerged suddenly from beneath a thick blue blanket, hair ruffled and face red from rubbing it against the blankets. You met his eyes curiously. 

"I'm just going to stay here a little while," he told you gently. "If that's alright. I'll watch over you."

Your eyes didn't stray, but you rested your head on the edge of the nest and continued to watch him back. He fidgeted slightly under your gaze, not uncomfortably, but he wondered what you thought when you looked at him and he hoped it was good. He wondered which of the items Hobi had gathered for you was your favorite and if that would be a good courting gift for you. 

And yeah, he was getting ahead of himself, but he'd been done for since you first called him alpha three nights ago and the way you unexpectedly allowed him to take care of you and sealed his fate. Yoongi had never formally courted Hoseok. There had been gifts and dates, of course, but he already had three other alphas, and Yoongi had done his best to prove that he could be a valuable member to the whole pack, that he fit in right, rather than showing that he could provide and protect for an omega that already had everything he needed. It wasn't at all like he hoped it would be with you. Yoongi wanted you to be his omega. He would have to show you that he would move heaven and earth to make sure you never hurt again, and that you could have everything you'd ever been denied. After just the last few hours, Yoongi was ready to risk it all to give you just that.

"Do you want me to turn off the lights so you can sleep?" He asked when your eyelids closed heavily. At the sleepy nod of your head, he reached above him and flipped the switch, drowning you both in darkness.

It wasn't that late yet, so there was still plenty of activity in the house. In the living room, Jungkook and Taehyung played video games. Their laughter became much clearer to Yoongi now, but he could also hear Namjoon's deep voice as he told Jimin about something that happened at school. The alpha always valued Jimin's advice in particular when it came to his students. He could even hear Jin and Hobi's footsteps upstairs as the omega prepared the pack's nest. He liked to subtly tell each member where they would sleep that night based on the placement of their favorite pillows. Yoongi knew how he would frown when he set aside Yoongi's pillow. He sighed heavily, hoping with all of his being that the pack would let you stay, because letting you go didn't feel like a viable option, but losing the family he had built would break his heart. 

You were barely conscious and you could hardly breathe. And yet somehow it was better that way, better not to be entirely in your body when your alphas pushed your face into the mattress and took what they wanted with the excuse that you needed it too. 

"Omegas like you are only good for breeding. When you give us a pup, we won't have to do this so much."

At least heats were a little better than ruts.

You awoke in a panic, fighting desperately against the blankets smothering you. Sitting up to free yourself, you looked around as you caught your breath. You were alone. The chair by the door where Yoongi sat was empty now, but the door was open and light poured in from the room across the hall. Fearing that the suffocating nest would pull you back into your dreams, you scrambled gracelessly over the edge and toward the door.

You smelled leather, something between a new car smell and an old leather jacket. You had smelled it in the house before, but you hadn't assigned it to a face yet. You should have been paying more attention at dinner earlier, but you had been singularly focused on Yoongi; you couldn't have looked at the others if you'd wanted. As you stepped cautiously into the hallway, you noticed that the TV was on in the living room. When you looked in his direction you found Jungkook already looking at it. He didn't say anything, but his expression was curious, like he was waiting to see what you were about to do. So you turned away from him and took a few unsteady steps toward the other room. You clung to the door frame as you peered into the room. A tall alpha with broad shoulders and fluffy dark hair held back by a headband stood inside the room facing an easel. He looked ponderously at the half-done canvas in front of him, but he must have sensed you, because he whipped around suddenly to look at you. You leaned harder into the door post and he brushed at a lock of hair escaping his headband, getting paint on his face in the process.

"I'm Taehyung," he finally said after a long silent moment of staring at one another.

You nodded, figuring your name wasn't necessary. "Where's Yoongi?" Your voice came out in a rasp.

Taehyung's lips lifted into a boxy smile. "Yoongi hyung had to go to work."

You let out a soft oh. "What time is it?"

"It's after 3 am. So hyung might be home soon," Jungkook said from the hallway behind you. 

"What are you all doing up so late?"

"Oh. I had a nightmare, so I got up to paint a bit. Sorry if I bothered you. He said the pheromones would be good for you, but I know people find my scent overwhelming, so I didn't want to overdo it." Taehyung's smile faltered, and you didn't like that one bit.

"I think your scent is nice," you assured him with a shake of your head, and his smile returned instantly, maybe even brighter. 

"I told you, Tae," Jungkook added.

"I've seen her before," you interrupted the conversation the two men were having with their eyes. 

"Huh?" Taehyung asked, his eyebrows raising dramatically. 

You gestured to the small girl on the canvas behind him. Her arms were outstretched, palms up and her face raised to the sky. "I've seen her on a building downtown."

"Oh!" The apples of his cheeks reddened. "Yeah Hobi and Jin were not particularly impressed with that stunt. But I'm glad you recognized her."

"I pass by her a lot. I always wonder what she's waiting for."

Taehyung turned to look at the canvas, cocking his head to the side. "I never thought of her as waiting for something. I see her as just existing, free, taking it all in."

You shifted nervously. "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know anything about art."

He turned back to you quickly. "No! It's what you see that matters. I like your perspective. Art is about what you see."

You smiled half-heartedly at him. "I'm sorry for interrupting. I should go back to bed." 

"Do you need anything?" Jungkook asked when you briefly met his eyes as you turned back to the bedroom. You merely shook your head as you passed him. "Yoongi left you some water and a protein bar. He'd want you to have some before you go back to sleep," he added. 

You didn't answer but went straight through the dark room into the bathroom and shut the door. 

"Did I upset her?" You could hear Taehyung ask through the closed door. 

"I think it's alright, hyung. She's probably just tired. Take it from someone who has already fucked it up once," Jungkook assured him. 

"She seemed okay though." Whatever Jungkook's response was, you couldn't hear it. "Cute the way she asked for Yoongi hyung," Taehyung said, and both men snickered. Finally, Jungkook's steps retreated and only then did you go about your business. 

After you washed your hands, you exited the bathroom and went back to the bed. On the nightstand, Yoongi had left you a bottle of water, a protein bar, and two tangerines. You sat at the edge of the mattress and rolled one of the small orange orbs in your hands. When you brought it to your nose. Smells just like alpha, she purred and something in your shoulders relaxed involuntarily. You sliced the thin skin with your thumbnail and began to peel it. Tart juice squirted in your mouth, bringing an unexpected brightness to your mood that you would swear was just a rush from the natural sugar. You quickly peeled and ate the other one as well. You didn't truly have the appetite for the protein bar but…

Alpha wants us to eat it. So you unwrapped it and ate the whole thing in a few unthinking bites and drank half the bottle of water to wash it down. Satisfied that you had done enough, you finally crawled back into the cocoon of the nest.

Hoseok was so nice to give us this, your omega crooned. We should make one like this, please?

"We can't," you whispered back and you settled amongst the blankets. It was lovely, so soft and soothing against your skin. It made your body hum like you'd never known before. At the moment, you couldn't remember why this was wrong, but you knew you could never recreate it yourself. Hoseok was a perfect omega who did everything perfectly. No attempt you made could ever compare, so you could add that to the pile of reasons why you never would. You'd never top this.

You weren't really tired after the snack you just had, and you felt more clear-headed than you had in days. Your heat must have been coming to an end, and that thought brought you immense relief. Soon you'd be free of your intrusive thoughts and persistent needs, and you'd be able to leave and return this pack to the peace it deserved. You decided to enjoy this nest while you could and laid back listening to the distant tv. 

Sometime later, you heard Yoongi come home. There was some shuffling, shoes thudding on the hardwood floors where they were removed, keys clashing with others in a bowl. More shuffling and you could smell him at the bedroom door, which was still open. 

"How is everything?" You heard him whisper. 

"Fine," Jungkook replied. "She woke up a while ago, but I think she's back to sleep now."

You closed your eyes as Yoongi's soft, socked footsteps neared the bed. He stopped by the nightstand, and you heard the crinkle of a wrapper as he closed his fingers around it. His happy citrus scent settled on you and you tried to keep your breathing even.

Ask Alpha to stay, she whined. There's room in here for him.

You kept your fists around the blanket so you could resist reaching out for him. 

He doesn't want you or your filthy nest.

Yes he does! Not filthy!

You let out an involuntary whimper as the voices argued, and you could sense him shift in your direction. His hand reached out to you and skimmed the top of a blanket almost imperceptibly. 

"C'mon, hyung. You should go upstairs and get some rest," Jungkook called to him. He hesitated for a moment, but sighed and turned to pad away, out of your room, and you released your own breath. 

Even with three of his mates still snoozing in the nest, mornings always felt chaotic for Hobi. He always tried to get the men to eat something, at least a piece of toast for Namjoon to soak up the positively enormous tumbler of coffee he took with him every day to school. Jin was a little better about eating a full breakfast, if only to make Hobi worry less. Jimin was always harder to coax since he usually stayed in bed until the last possible second. He was incorrigible on this point, but his omega always made sure he left with a good lunch.

After the three of them were off to work, Hoseok got started on laundry, which there never seemed to be an end to. He didn't like to admit to being a stereotype but when Jin had gotten him the top of the line, heavy duty washer and dryer set last year for his birthday he actually almost cried from joy. The only thing that would have been nicer if he had brought home another omega instead. Jungkook had always been eager to help with chores before he entered the academy, but now Hobi mostly relied on Taehyung, who was a cheerful, if often inept, helper. Really, all of his packmates did their best to help with chores, but it never sat right with him, and deep down he knew that he was lacking something beyond an extra set of gentle hands. 

As if summoned by his thoughts, you appeared in the kitchen a few minutes after the house fell quiet. You picked up a sock that had fallen from the pile of clothes in his arms when he stopped short.

"Hey, good morning," he smiled at you. "Are you hungry? I can make you some breakfast."

You shook your head softly. "Can I help?"

He cocked his head to the side. "With what?"

"Um…I can fold laundry. Or I can clean. I'm a good cleaner."

He hummed and nodded for you to follow him to the couch, subtly sniffing the air around you as he passed. He could tell you were at the end of your cycle since your sweetness had diminished, replaced by a pleasant crispness, more fresh Granny Smith than gooey apple pie. He dumped the pile of clothes on the cushions in between you, and you immediately put your hands to work.

"You can just put them in piles by, like, type of clothing. Everyone wears each other's stuff for the most part, so there's no use in dividing it out." You nodded as he spoke. You sat for a few minutes in silence while you both worked and a pile of neatly folded t-shirts grew quickly on the ottoman in front of you. "Where did you learn to fold like that?" Hoseok asked, looking at the crisp, methodical way you folded the shirts. You did it quickly, but so perfectly that you must have had a lot of practice. You paused, your hands frozen where they carefully helt the fabric.

"Is it not okay?" You asked sheepishly.

"No, it's brilliant. I was just curious."

You cleared your throat and continued folding. "My former alpha was very particular. He was in the military for a long time, and he liked everything to be perfectly neat."

Hoseok tried to hide his cringe, not looking directly at you when he asked, "he was much older than you?"

You hid your face but nodded.

"You must be really good at ironing then?" He laughed, trying to get you both past the awkward moment, trying not to dwell on it in his own mind. He could digest that information later on his own.

"Oh, yeah, I'm great at it!" you smiled.

"You'll have to teach me your tricks. I'm terrible at it even though I've been doing Jin's shirts and Yoongi's uniforms for years. Now I have Jungkook's uniforms, too, but I just hate doing it so much."

You smiled up at him, and he recognized the gleam in your eye as the joy of being useful. "I can help you do them today." 

Hoseok smiled back, and you lapsed back into silence as you worked.

Around lunch time, Hobi's three sleepy pups trudged down the stairs, all fluffed and bleary eyed, as if it were still early morning. Yoongi led the line, but Taehyung and then Jungkook each ran into his back when he stopped at the bottom of the stairs, eyes locked on you where you were ironing his work clothes in the middle of the living room with Hoseok looking over your shoulder. 

"What's going on?" He asked in a rough, sleepy voice.

Hobi's smile gleamed at him. "Little pup is helping me with some chores."

"Did we wake you?" You asked, a tiny bit of fear visible in your eyes. 

Yoongi shook his head and raked a hand through his messy hair.

"Don't stare," Hoseok tisked. "Go sit and I'll get a pot of coffee and some food going. Do you want to join me in the kitchen after you finish this one?" He asked you and you nodded your head shyly, avoiding the men's gazes, before he walked away.

As difficult as it was to have the guys on different schedules all the time, there was something nice about days when Jungkook and Yoongi were at home and Hoseok could give them the attention that was sometimes hard to give when everyone was home. Yoongi was unusually quiet as he sat at the kitchen table. Normally he would be telling the omega about what calls he had made the night before or filling him in on the workplace drama that Hoseok ate up like a soap opera. Instead, he noticed the alpha's eyes glued to you no matter where you went. You clearly felt it too, because although you wouldn't look directly at him, your shoulders curled in as you moved around, following any instructions the older omega gave you. After a few minutes of this, he began to worry that maybe it wasn't just shyness that made you hide, but the fear that Yoongi might be a particular alpha. Hoseok could only guess what that might mean to you.

"Take that to Yoongi, please," he told you, handing you a plate full of eggs and sausage. 

After you set the plate on the table, Yoongi grabbed your wrist, gently but with authority. "Sit." 

Your ass was in the seat next to his the next second. 

"You need to eat, too," he instructed, shooting the briefest of glances at Hoseok. A second later a plate was also placed in front of you. Then Hoseok picked a grape out of the bowl of fruit in the middle of the table and threw it directly at Yoongi's forehead. 

"If you don't stop staring at her like you're going to eat her, I'm going to eat you," the omega threatened. 

Jungkook and Taehyung snickered over their food and Yoongi finally sat back in his chair. You both turned your attention to your meal and didn't look at each other again until you were finished. 

"I'll go take a nap, if that's okay?" You said when you'd cleared your plate.

"Of course," Hoseok nodded. "Leave your plate. I'll take care of it," he smiled, and you reluctantly did as you were told.

Yoongi's eyes tracked you back to the bedroom. After they heard the click of the door, Hoseok popped him with another grape.

"What the hell is your problem?"

Yoongi growled but there was no threat in it. "I want her to stay."

"That's not an answer. You're scaring the poor girl." He threw another grape.

Yoongi flicked it with his fingernail after it fell by his hand, as if it were the fruit assaulting him and not the man across the table. He sighed, "I'm just trying to look out for her. Can't you tell? Her heat is almost over, and then what will happen? Are we just going to throw her out to fend for herself?"

"Yoongi–"

"Please ask Jin to let her stay. I know he's not fond of her, but I'm begging you."

Hobi reached across the table to take the alpha's hand. "We can discuss it with him when he gets home."

Yoongi squeezed his fingers around the other man's hand and looked at him desperately. "I picked up a long shift tonight. I go in a four. But it doesn't matter because he'll listen to you more than me, anyway. You like her, don't you, Hobi?"

He couldn't help smiling at his packmate's emotion, but also because yes, he did. "Of course, sweetheart. We're still just getting to know her, but I like her. She was very sweet this morning. And no, I don't want to throw her out on the street. But it isn't only up to me and Jin. We have other packmates to consider as well."

Jungkook took his cue. "Of course, I want her to stay."

"Me, too," Taehyung agreed. "And Jimin will, too. Namjoon…will agree with whatever Jin decides." 

Hoseok rolled his eyes, even though it was true. "I'll talk to Jinnie when he gets home, but I don't think it will be all sunshine and roses if she stays," he warned, looking particularly at Taehyung. "She might not want to be around all you alphas. Not right away. We don't know how she'll act when she's normal versus during her heat."

"I don't mind if she doesn't care for us. I just want her to be safe," Yoongi mumbled into his food as he pushed it around his plate, earning him an endeared smile from Hoseok. 

"I don't mind either. It could be like having a sister! Never had one of those before," Taehyung mused. 

"Okay, okay. Finish your lunch and get cleaned up. You're smelling up my kitchen," Hobi teased.

When Jin came home, found his husband alone in the kitchen, having beaten Jimin and Namjoon home from work while Jungkook and Taehyung had gone to the gym, giving them a rare moment alone. The music playing loudly from the Bluetooth speaker in the living room allowed him to sneak up on the unsuspecting omega. Jin wrapped his arms around Hobi's waist and buried his face in the man's neck, leaving a kiss while taking a deep inhale. He melted a little more into his back as Hobi reached to turn down the volume. 

"You're in pre-heat, baby," Jin said against his warm skin. 

"I know," Hobi grinned. 

"Isn't that like a week early?"

Hobi nodded. "Yeah, I think our house guest might have triggered it to start a little early. It's not a big deal. I'll probably be there by morning."

"You should have told me so I could get my meetings for the rest of the week moved."

"Don't be silly. You don't have to move all your meetings," Hoseok hedged. 

"Since when? Of course I'm going to be here for your whole heat. That's my job, and my priority." Jin turned Hoseok around so that he could hold his face in his hands. "I'll let my secretary know  and she'll handle it. I won't miss a second."

"I don't need to be waited on hand and foot," Hobi blushed. 

"Of course you do. You're my prince," Jin said with a kiss to his forehead. 

"I was thinking maybe I should see what it's like…"

"What what's like, baby?"

"Struggling the way she did. To be alone…" Hoseok braced himself because he knew Jin wouldn't like the mere suggestion of it. 

"What? You don't want to have a knot during your heat?" Jin looked shocked. 

"No! No. It's not that I don't want it. I was just thinking how strange it would be. Forget I said anything. I must be getting a little muddled already." Hobi fidgeted under the alpha's eyes. 

"Don't worry, baby. The boys and I will get everything ready tonight. We're going to take good care of you like we always do," Jin assured him with a soft kiss to his lips. 

"I know."

"It will be strange, having two omegas in heat in the house," Jin commented, moving away slightly to pick at the bowl of fruit. 

"She's coming off it actually," Hoseok said softly. You told him you wanted to clean the bathroom you'd been using, but you might appear at any moment.

"Oh." Jin froze. "Oh. She'll be leaving then?"

"About that…"

"Hobi, don't look at me like that."

Hoseok took a step closer. "Baby, hear me out."

Jin took a deep breath and sighed. "Fine. I'm listening."

"She doesn't have anywhere to go."

"She does, actually."

"Don't interrupt me," Hoseok warned, and the alpha looked chastened. "She doesn't have somewhere good to go. Somewhere safe. She can stay here. We have the room and she isn't causing us any problems." Jin looked like he wasn't buying. "I've already talked to Yoongi, Kook and Tae, and they all want her to stay with us."

"What about Jimin and Namjoon?" 

"I haven't spoken to them about it specifically, but Jimin has already been trying to convince her that cohabitation is the right way to go, and this could be a good first step, since she's already here. And Namjoon will agree with whatever you think."

Jin smiled a little at that. Namjoon always deferred to Jin on pack matters, while Yoongi and Taehyung weren't afraid to debate. Not that Jin was the kind of alpha who demanded complete control. If anything he kept a rather light touch on power, seeing as how Hoseok was always the one who was really in control, in his opinion. Still, it was nice to get that kind of respect from one pack member. 

"Ultimately, it's your decision, pack alpha. It's your home," Hobi added, knowing how to butter him up.

"It's our home, but more importantly it's your home. I don't really care about her one way or another. What I care about is how she affects you. I don't want her being disrespectful and upsetting you." Jin brushed his fingers along Hobi's cheek and the omega could see in his dark brown eyes that he truly meant it. 

"I think that was all a big misunderstanding," Hobi said with a shake of his head. "We actually spent a lot of time together today and she was really sweet, and helpful. I like having another omega around. I like her." He pulled Jin close, going in for the kill with a light kiss in the lips.

Jin groaned. "What exactly are you asking me here? To court her? Or to let her crash for a few days? Because I don't think I can–"

"I'm not asking you to court her!" The omega answered quickly, not least because that was definitely a conversion he would have to have with Yoongi when the time was right, if it ever got that far. "Just let her stay until she's back on her feet," he proposed softly, not adding or until things change. 

Jin closed his eyes and breathed, "okay."

Hobi hugged him tight and smiled into his chest. "Thank you, alpha. You'll be glad in the end, when you stop thinking just of me, and the need to protect hits. You'll be glad you didn't toss her out."

Jim grumbled something unintelligible.

"Maybe we should use protection this time around," Hoseok said quietly. 

Jin pulled back quickly. "Why?"

"Just…plans might be changing…"

"You don't want to have pups anymore?" Hobi could see how deeply that truly hurt him. 

"That's not what I'm saying at all!" He assured his alpha. "I want pups with you more than anything. But things might take a while to settle and with someone new in the house…maybe we should wait."

Jin shook his head. "No. We've already been trying for over a year. I don't think it makes sense to miss an opportunity. If it's between us trying to have pups and her staying, then I change my answer."

Jin was shaking, and it scared Hobi deeply. Seokjin had always been very clear on his desire for pups and they had already waited so long in his view. He didn't blame Hobi for that, but it hadn't been easy so far. To have you present one more obstacle was more than the alpha could bear. Hoseok placed his hands on both sides of his face and rubbed soothing circles with his thumbs. 

"Okay. We'll try. I was just thinking out loud."

Jin's face fell at his lover's attempt to soothe him. "Wait. No. I'm not going to be the kind of alpha who forces you to have a pup when you're not ready. If you think it's better–"

"You're not forcing me." Hobi reached up on his toes to press their foreheads together. "I want to have your baby. You know how my brain just constantly works to shift things around. Every decision moves everything else around it. But you're right. We shouldn't miss the chance while we have it."

Jin's lips curled into a soft smile. "I love your brain. You make everything work for us, all the time. Don't know what we'd do without you."

"You won't have to," Hobi replied as he was pulled one again into a warm embrace where he stayed for several long moments. Until they heard you clear your throat. They pulled away to look at you.

"Sorry for interrupting," you said sheepishly. "I finished the bathroom. Would you like me to do the one upstairs?" You asked with a bucket in hand. 

"Absolutely not!" Hobi cried. "But you can help me with dinner."

"Of course!" You nodded and went to put the cleaning supplies back in the cupboard where you had found them before washing up. 

Jin sat at the kitchen table observing the two of you as you prepared a meal for the pack. He was surprised to see how you talked sweetly with his mate now, how he could even draw shy little smiles from you. Jimin and Namjoon came home, followed shortly after by Jungkook and Taehyung, and they all sat around the table while the two of you insisted you didn't need any extra hands.

"Y/n," Jin said your name simply to call your attention after he had seen enough. Your hands paused mid chop and you looked at him like a deer in the headlights. "I'm inviting you to stay here until you get yourself back on your feet. If you would like that," he offered, feeling a little sheepish.

You swallowed and looked from the pack alpha to the omega, who nodded encouragingly. "I…I wouldn't want to be inconvenient."

"You wouldn't be!" Hoseok insisted. "You take up no room at all. And you've been a huge help today." He hoped you understood how much he had enjoyed that and how grateful he was.

"But, I'm taking up Jungkook's bed, aren't I?"

Jungkook shook his head. "No. I'm sleeping in the nest, where I'm meant to be. You should stay," he added. 

"Oh. Well. Thanks. Can I think about it?" You hedged. 

Hoseok knew it was always a chance you would rebuff their offer, but he had hoped you wouldn't. Still, you weren't saying no. "Of course you can," he smiled.

A/n 2: please tell me what you thought of this chapter! What did you think of Jin? Aren't yoongi and taehyung the cutest things? I hope you were kicking your feet. Your comments/asks are my greatest motivator, and anon is on!

A/n 3: yes, Jin and Hobi are husbands, as in married in the Sapien way. During early integration, some politicians believed that encouraging Lykos to enter monogamous, legal marriages would discourage polygamous pack practices. They were wrong, but much like in our world, there are practical reasons to get married. Jin and Hobi married young, before they met any of the other pack members. None of the other pack members are married. Additionally in this universe there are no such things as mating marks or bonds, soulmates, etc. What Yoongi is feeling is much more your good old fashioned love at first sight combined with some very strong instincts. Please feel free to send an ask if you have any questions or thoughts!

Permanent taglist: @halesandy @burningupp-replies @lilacdreams-00 @minclangyyy @yonkimint @wholockian1 @cbgdoll @babycoffeefire @theatren3rd @bri-mal @armytwist @hwayne2294 @crish-mac @hey-itsmina @jikooksgirl19 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @lxvelyjiminie @marvelfamily3000 @borahae-reads @shadowyjellyfishfest @yoongiigolden  @staerryminimini @valhallawhispers @m4gg13-g

Taglist: @ellesalazar @rinkud @osakis-gf @scuzmunkie @queen-in-the-shadows @toughbook @zariaskz @chansbaybygirl @cryingpages @coralmusicblaze @alex--awesome--22 @singukieee @welcometomyworld13 @juju-227592 @bangtanflirt @wittyreader @nyrovieeie @welcome418 @guinhosletters @lifeistooshorttowasteyourtime @moon-cupcakes @passionandsuga @zvrjkb @m0v3m3ntsblog @kykyxstandler @writingwithmai @moocow778 @ladyalicesbookstore @yoonseokerist @deejay08 @momoasenthusiasticreader @littlestarstinyseven @bittersweetbaylee @irtiqa

[furiousgoldfish]

I'm going to sit down and try to explain this with patience, to everyone who still thinks calling out narcissistic abuse is 'ableist' or 'dehumanizing to the narcissists', and that abuse is something we're all equally capable of.

I don't think you understand what narcissistic abuse is, or how it differs from the other kinds of abuse. We can agree that all and any abuse is damaging, traumatic and scarring, but narcissistic abuse is so extremely pervasive, hidden, strategic and unbelievable, to the point where I can't honestly tell it's something any regular human would be capable of. And even more than this, the survivors of this particular type of abuse have found it extremely, extremely difficult to figure out they've been abused, even when they've been put through extreme, devastating, and absolutely dehumanizing scenarios. Realizing that your loved one is a narcissist requires your entire world to break down, and every piece of your heart shatters in the realization, and it takes months, even years to accept it.

The only way we can possibly figure it out is to connect the patterns. And patterns of the narcissistic abuse are focused on erasing one's own sense of self, one's perspective and ultimately, complete control over someone's emotions and behaviours. This is often done from early on, the grooming process starts at age zero, your value, worth and usefulness is determined by them, and you cannot wrangle yourself free from it on your own, not without someone confirming to you that you've been held captive, that your free will has been taken a long time ago.

Unfortunately, I have to give some examples, because I don't think it can be explained otherwise. When I was 2 years old, a narcissistic person found it a nuisance to watch over me, and they beat me up every time I disobeyed. I was a toddler. Then they proceeded to convince me that I was a demon, and would burn in hell regardless of what I do for the rest of my life. I've been brainwashed by this person to believe I was not a human being, had no human rights, that it was correct and regular for me to be locked up, beaten, and that it was my fault every single time, even when I did all that was asked of me. This person then had me comfort them after they would beat me, because it was a stressful experience for them. I wasn't allowed to cry. I would be beaten for making a face expression they didn't like. It was random and unexplainable.

Another narcissistic person created a game where they would give me wrong instructions for a task, then torture me when I did exactly as they instructed me to. It got to a point where I would beg them to tell me what to do correctly, and they would respond with a laughing 'you should be old enough to know this' and they would be even happier to beat me up and scream at me for getting it wrong. This person not only threatened to kill me regularly, but often made me believe I was in my last few seconds of life, putting me in position where I believed I was about to die. They forced me to work for them in unsafe conditions, heavy physical jobs, where I was not allowed to say I'm tired, not allowed to cry, and even after I'd do everything, they would still tell me I didn't deserve to eat. I was a child. I didn't think for a second I was being abused. I was already brainwashed to believe that everyone else had it worse, and that I was lucky.

I had no identity besides existing for them, I had no free will except to try and make myself into something they could use, and if I didn't do a good enough job, I'd be ostracized. They loved beating me, screaming at me and making me cry, and then they'd leave me in a room crying without being allowed to make any noise, while they laughed in the room next to me, as a family, loudly so I could hear what a great time they were having. They would treat other children gently in front of me in order to try and make me jealous. They would revise every part of what they did to me if I ever tried to bring it up. I wasn't allowed my own perspective, opinion, or complaint. I wasn't even allowed to remember the abuse correctly. I would be locked in a room and questioned and punished if my opinions weren't to their liking.

I don't believe this is something anyone is capable of doing. I don't believe anyone of us is capable of torturing a kid until the kid begs to be killed. I don't believe most of us are capable of erasing a child's point of view, their reality, their humanity to the point where the child is forced to live a life where they will either comply or be killed, and they will be tortured no matter what. This isn't a regular thing that a person can easily do.

Luckily, us who have been through this, have noticed that there is a specific pattern to their behaviour. That they use almost identical phrases with which their invoke guilt, fear and hopelessness. That they can go frighteningly fast from rage to laughter to acting hurt. That they enforce their will over ours with a specific type of terror that triggers both our survival instincts and our compassion and shame. That we've been groomed by them in an almost identical way - to not believe that we're allowed our own feelings, memories, opinions, point of view, or freedom. That we have learned to exist only to be an extension of them.

We also all noticed that we're all absolutely, beyond terrified of them, and that we don't feel we're allowed to say it, or think it. That we're taught by terror to keep believing that they're good people, that they do none of it on purpose, not even the most extreme, insane, egregious abuse. That they will go to any length, even committing more atrocities, to escape accountability. That they use tactics of darvo, gaslighting, double-bind, planting insecurities, triangulating, future faking, discarding, love bombing, mirroring, smear campaigns, projection, scapegoating, silencing, throwing tantrums, victim playing, like it's in their second nature. That they're genuinely, absolutely terrifying and almost unreal in how far they're capable of going. And most of all, that they are dangerous, and capable of completely turning another human being into their puppet, and never think for a second that it might be wrong. To them, we are nothing more but toys to manipulate, control, and discard. We are disposable. There is no limit to what they can do to us, because to them, we are not alive. They would do to us what normal people wouldn't do to a corpse. And they feel superior for it.

People abused by narcissists from early age are likely to develop the most complex and extreme disorders, complex ptsd and dissociative identity disorder being some of them, because that's what it takes to survive being a child and existing next to a narcissist. This means that small children need to be shattered in pieces in order to please the narcissist. Others that are very common are eating disorders, anxiety, depression, paranoia, avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, and compulsions to cater to everyone's needs, to the point of our own destruction. This is what they make of us, on purpose, in order for us to be of use to them. And they will forever insist it's their right.

When I'm saying the word 'narcissist', I am not referring to 'anyone diagnosed with npd', I am referring to a person who will do this to a child, and insist on doing it for the rest of the child's life. I am writing it because I don't want children to have to live like this forever. I am not aiming to dehumanize the narcissist, their actions show who they are, I am saying, be careful and aware that this person will dehumanize you. That you are disposable to them. That making you feel good in order for you to like them, is a game to them, and one they're very good at. That playing the victim at you and demanding justice, will easily manipulate you into standing against the victims of abuse and talking down to them for 'dehumanizing their abusers', and being 'ableist to the npd', after being tortured past the point of return by those people.

A lot of us are permanently damaged by what's been done to us. We are not asking for justice. We're not asking for revenge. We are asking to be safe. We're asking for this to stop. We're asking for children not to be left alone with people who are dangerous to this level. We're asking you to understand that a narcissist left alone with a child means a child in danger.

It's common to not be aware just how bad it can go, because we think that most humans know not to torture a child. We believe that nobody would do things to children that narcissists do. If you read the stories of the survivors, you'll find out what actually happens behind closed doors. The themes of torture, dehumanization, sexual abuse, brainwashing, violence, and extreme cruelty are common, even towards toddlers.

I need you to not attack those children when they grow up and say they no longer want to be around narcissists. I need you to understand that they know what they're talking about when they say it's not safe, that they want to be protected. The society already failed to protect them at their most vulnerable, and they had to make it alive by their wits alone. And now you won't even let them speak without attacking them? It's inexcusable.

If you want to know about the narcissists, read what their victims have gone through. Then make a judgment on whether we're allowed to speak, and whether it's worth warning others to hold caution. I've heard and read stories of narcissistic parents sex-trafficking their own child, holding them captive and locked up and convincing them it's right to do this, using brutal punishments to 'train' them into inhumane slave-like behaviour, keeping the children in state so terrified the children wished they were dead. And in all those cases, they still convinced the children to love their parents, and to never blame them for any kind of abuse. Yes, even in the sex-trafficking cases.

Fighting for those children to realize that they didn't deserve that, is the only correct thing to do. Fighting to help them realize they're in danger, and that they deserve safely, it's not only right but extremely necessary, it's what we all should be putting all of our energy into.

Wanting to keep others safe will never be wrong. Wanting to protect those who still have their identity, their sense of self, their undamaged humanity, their free will and their point of view, that's worth fighting for! And above all, those who already lost it all, need to be protected. We cannot allow for already badly wounded people to be dehumanized over and over again. Nobody deserves that.

[meownotgood]

family life / hayakawa aki

raising a family with your husband, aki.

pairing: hayakawa aki x gn!reader

genre: headcanons / fluff / domestic

note: this post is sfw, but this account contains nsfw content. please do not follow if you are a minor.

❥ Aki, would you ever consider starting a family with me? — When Aki first heard you ask him this, the two of you sat quietly at the dinner table, his face promptly flushed a warm shade of red. He hesitated for a moment, tapping his silverware idly against the table. You stare up at him expectantly, and with a deep breath, then a trip and stumble over his own words, Aki replies, I- I'd... Yeah. I'd consider it, yes, definitely. I would love to.

❥ Honestly, he's already considered the idea numerous times, he just never assumed it would actually end up coming to fruition. From the day he married you, and from the moment you took his last name, he thought he'd love to settle down with you, to raise a family and grow old alongside you. But, he assumed it was just wishful thinking, just a pleasant dream to fantasize of from time to time; how would someone like him ever be lucky enough to live that kind of life? 

❥ Well, it seems like he is that lucky, and when it comes to raising a family with his beloved, with you, he couldn't be any happier. 

❥ Aki would be lying if he tried to say he wasn't nervous — Actually, he tries his hardest to make you believe that he isn't, but you can see through him better than he thinks you can. In reality, he's terrified. He has no idea how he's supposed to raise a child, hell, he was hardly raised himself. What if he screws this up? What if he was never cut out for this, to be a father? 

❥ Thankfully, you're there to reassure him, to let him know that you're a team. The both of you can do this, together, and even if you mess up, everything will work out in the end. You know it will. And when he knows that you're there to help him, Aki feels a whole lot better. 

❥ Aki spends his free time reading parenting books to make sure he's prepared. He checked out every single one he could get his hands on at the library. During your late night conversations, he tells you some of the useful things he learned from them, too. You're not sure if they're all that necessary, but you can't help but admire his enthusiasm. 

❥ He quits smoking. Aki has been wanting to quit forever, honestly, but this was the final push he needed to never smoke another cigarette again.

❥ When it comes time, Aki helps you decorate your spare bedroom to perfection. You paint the walls together, Aki reaching up to get the spots you can't reach. You smear some paint on this focused face when he isn't paying attention. The both of you get distracted, until your faces, hands, and clothes end up covered in more paint than what you were able to get on the walls. Aki tugs you in by the waist, placing a deep, tender kiss on your lips, before softly whispering, I'm so excited, sweetheart. We're gonna make the best parents, I know it. 

❥ You and Aki pick out everything you need — A crib, blankets, stuffed animals, pacifiers. In the time since you've been married, you've become familiar with Aki's softer side, how his stoic act is just a facade. Nowhere else is it displayed more than here, when he helps you choose the absolute cutest items. Hey, sweetheart, which do you think they'll like more, the duckie or the kitty? 

❥ He spends hours putting together the crib, powering through the complicated set of instructions. He's so proud when he shows you how he finally managed to put it together, and when you fling your arms around him and tell him, It looks perfect, I love you, he's certain the struggle was worth it. 

❥ Aki also spends hours baby-proofing the entire house, to a degree so meticulous that you can't help but giggle. He hunts down every single outlet in the house and gives it a safety cover, he puts locks on each doorknob (even the cabinets), and he tests all the furniture in the house to make sure nothing will fall. You find his carefulness to be sweet, but after he's spent hours rearranging and stressing, you wrap your arms around his shoulders, place a quick kiss on his cheek, and tell him it's alright to take a break for now. 

❥ And when the day finally comes, when the two of you finally bring your baby home, Aki is sure he hasn't cried more than this in his entire life. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks tear-stained; he sticks to you like glue, adamantly refusing to leave you or his son's side, not even for a single second. 

❥ He's so damn happy, he can't even believe this is happening. Aki stares at your son like he holds the world in his itty bitty hands, like if Aki stops looking for even a moment, he'll wake up to discover this was all just a dream. Just one of his many fantasies that he replays in his head as he falls asleep holding you close. But, no, it's real, and it won't change, no matter how much he worries that it will. When Aki remembers this, he feels a huge wave of solace, and a steady, love-sick ache settled in his heart.

❥ You haven't stopped holding your baby since you've left, so when you're finally home and able to lower him into his crib, Aki is immediately wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. His tears soak your shoulder, his hands ball up your shirt, his little sniffles and sobs muffled as he buries his face into the crook of your neck. I'm so happy. I'm so, so happy for us. Aki pulls apart from you then, and his hand trembles when he brings it to your cheek. I think this is the best day of my life. 

❥ Things are a little rough at first, as the two of you struggle to get a handle on things. Truth is, despite the numerous parenting books and hours spent preparing, neither of you have any idea what you're doing. For the first week, Aki thinks he got a full five hours of sleep in total, or no, maybe four hours? He was so exhausted he could hardly remember. 

❥ The baby won't eat, then he won't sleep, then he cries and cries and neither of you have a clue why — Aki begins to think maybe he really isn't cut out for this. When the two of you lay in bed, the baby finally quieting for what feels like the first time in ages, Aki holds you close to himself. His voice is shaky and weak when he tells you how he's worried, how he's so scared because he has no idea what to do, and no-one to tell him. Do you think I'm doing something wrong? I really… I really don't wanna mess this up. I'm sorry. 

❥ He feels the stress melt from his shoulders when you rub his back with your palms, muttering sweet words of reassurance into his ear. Just the sound of your voice, the way you promise him that you'll be here with him every step of the way, I know the two of us can do this, Aki, it'll be okay — He didn't realize how tired he was until now, so it isn't long before your peaceful words lull him to sleep. 

❥ As things go on, everything gets easier and easier. Aki starts to get the hang of it, becoming more and more comfortable, learning techniques for every situation. He's figured out how to handle things on his own, so you can head to work while he stays home. You were a little nervous for him at first, but when you came home from work to see Aki sleeping peacefully with the baby in his arms, you felt all of your worries wash away. 

❥ There was one time, though, not too long after you took your baby home, where he happened to fall ill. The doctors told you it was nothing to worry about, that this is rather normal, and he should get better soon, but that didn't stop Aki from worrying his head off, nor from sleeping beside the crib every single night. 

❥ Your heart feels warm to see your husband fretting so much over your baby boy, but all of his worrying built up a bit of a bad habit. Your child started requiring that Aki sleep beside his crib every night if he's ever going to get any rest. 

❥ Aki keeps his hand stuck in between the bars, so your son can wrap his small hands around Aki's thumb. Allowing him to fall asleep like this seems to be the only way to get him to sleep soundly all night, so Aki props up a chair and makes himself comfortable. You can't remember how many times you came into the spare bedroom and wrapped a blanket around your sleeping husband's shoulders before your son was finally able to break the habit. 

❥ The two of you debated profusely over what your kid's first words would end up being, until one day, when you came home from work; Aki didn't even give you a chance to kick off your shoes, swiftly grabbing your hand and leading you into the hallway. He drags you to the spare bedroom, and with a warm grin tugging at his cheeks, he says, Look, sweetheart. Look at what I taught him to do. 

❥ Aki goes on to show you how he taught your kid to say his name — Your son reaches up, gesturing grabby hands at Aki before babbling his name, Aki!, until Aki finally picks him up. You give your husband a playful shove, pretending to be annoyed that it was his name your son ended up saying first, but honestly, the way he says it is so cute that you don't have the heart to be at all disappointed. 

❥ Although… Aki's teachings did end up causing one repercussion. Now, your son thinks Aki is synonymous with getting what he wants, so he tends to say it whenever and where-ever. Even when Aki isn't present, your son is gurgling his name, saying it when you give him his favorite toy, or crying it when he wants you to hold him. It's a little endearing, sure, but it takes longer than you expected for him to finally learn your name. 

❥ Aki has no problem taking care of your son by himself if you've had a long day and need to relax. He greets you with a kiss at the door, gently pulling your coat from your arms, massaging the tension from your shoulders beneath his hands. Long day, baby? I know, I ran you a hot bath, it should be ready in a few minutes. I'll take care of making dinner tonight, you just relax. 

❥ As your child grows, Aki mellows out, seeming to ditch any semblance of his old, stern persona in favor of a much sweeter one. You notice how he's a lot calmer, a lot more relaxed. However, even if he's a lot gentler now, he still speaks to his son a lot softer than he speaks to everyone else, his voice taking on a particular comforting tone, no matter the situation. Hm, you said you broke something? Oh, don't cry, it's alright. It was an accident, I'm not mad at you. We can clean it up together, okay? 

❥ Your son's particular sort of endearment with his father is probably because Aki tends to spoil him to high heaven, buying him anything and everything he could ever want, making him whatever his little heart desires for dinner, and taking him to wherever he says he wants to go. You don't even know what excursions they're taking at this point, you just come home from work to Aki and your son playing with manta ray stuffed animals, and Aki has to explain, Oh, we went to the aquarium today, sweetheart. I think rays are his favorite animal now, he seems to really like them.

❥ Aki always makes sure to carry around plenty of packages of candy and sticks of gum in his pocket to keep your son satisfied. His car is filled with coloring books, stickers, toys, and pretty much anything your son could ever ask for or need. 

❥ Although Aki is prepared for every situation, he's a worrier at heart, so he still tends to stress about anything related to your son — Is he gonna be okay to sleepover at his friend's house? I told him to call me if he needs me and I'll come pick him up right away. He has my number, he won't forget it, right? — You frequently have to remind Aki that it's okay, your son is capable of handling himself, so there's no need for him to fret so much. Just relax. 

❥ When you and Aki realize you haven't been able to get much time alone, you'll hire a babysitter, so that the two of you can go out and spend a nice date night together. And if your son ever happens to go to a friend's house, you can bet that you and Aki are going to make good use of the time you're able to spend home alone (well, if the two of you end up spending all that time just napping or doing chores, that's fine, too). 

❥ At first, Aki is extra worried when it comes time for your son's first day at school, but when he comes home with a huge smile on his face, excited to tell you and Aki about all the fun he had, Aki seems to loosen up rather quickly. 

❥ Aki makes packed lunches for your son every day, and puts his backpack on his shoulders before he walks out the door. When he comes home, Aki is seated beside him at the dinner table, helping him with his homework. Your son is always telling you about how his classmates are all jealous of his fancy lunches, how he always brags to them about how amazing of a dad Aki is. You laugh, ruffling his hair, before leaning down to say, You better make sure you tell your dad that. 

❥ Aki thinks he's always gonna love when his son calls him dad — He never imagined he'd get the opportunity to be a father, and to such an amazing son, at that. You and Aki are the most doting parents, bragging about how much you love your son to the point where other people might even find it annoying. Aki hardly cares, he feels so happy and unbelievably lucky, and he wants anyone and everyone to know it. 

❥ Whenever your kid brings home an art project from school, or a worksheet he did, Aki saves it. He saves literally everything to the point where your attic is overflowing from every sketch and every project your son has ever completed. And when your son draws a messy stick figure drawing of you, Aki, and him, Aki keeps it stuck to the fridge forever. 

❥ Mornings spent with your husband quickly become your favorite part of every day. You wake up to a soft kiss on the forehead, to Aki's arms wrapped snugly around you, and to him whispering into your ear, Good morning, love. Did you sleep well? 

❥ The two of you enjoy your time alone early in the morning, before your son has woken up for school. Aki brews you both some coffee, sipping it out of his "World's Best Dad mug" that your son bought him for his birthday. He makes sure to sneak in as many kisses to your lips as he can before it's finally time to fully start the morning. I'm gonna go wake him up, you can go back to bed if you'd like. I'll join you in just a bit, I promise. 

❥ Your nights together are a close contender for second favorite, though. You get some time to talk to Aki about your day, or just reminisce on things, like the way two nostalgic lovers always do. Aki absently runs his fingers through your hair, his voice heavy and tired as he teeters on the edge of falling asleep. I still remember when he couldn't even walk, and now he's running miles for his sports team every day. Mmm, it's been so long… Can you believe it, sweetheart?… Oh, are you asleep already? 

❥ Sometimes though, your son will tiptoe to you and Aki's shared bedroom, asking if he can sleep with you since he had a bad dream, and those nights, those nights are the best. Cuddled up with your whole family, enveloped in warmth and comfort — You can't help but savor this moment, and Aki can't help but wish it would never end.

❥ Aki takes holidays extremely seriously, always trying to make sure each one is the best it can be. He bakes homemade cakes for every birthday, decorating the top with frosting and numbered candles. He stays up until 2am wrapping presents from "Santa", but getting to eat the cookies you baked as a family the night before, and seeing the excited look on your son's face when he comes to the present-filled living room on Christmas morning makes it all worth it. 

❥ When your son has his baseball games, Aki is always screaming the loudest, cheering for him until his throat aches every time he hits a home run, before turning to you with an excited smile. Did you see that? He's doing so good, wow. I'm… I'm so proud. 

❥ And when he has his piano recitals, you and Aki are dressing up fancy, stopping at the store to buy a bouquet of flowers, and making sure you get seats in the very front row. You're sure at the end, you heard Aki clapping the loudest, too. 

❥ Aki feels fortunate to call you his family, and even if he worries sometimes, or even if he struggles, he's certain this life is how everything was meant to be. Everything flies by so fast, until days turn into months turn into years, and every day, Aki still thinks he's going to wake up from some sort of dream. Well, if this is a dream, it's certainly the best one he's ever had, and he hopes from the bottom of his heart to never awake from it.

❥ When you, Aki, and your son visit his families gravestone together, Aki has a bit of a somber expression on his face, his brows furrowed, as if he's lost in thought; you ask him if he's alright, and your son chimes in, saying something about how he seems like he's sad. Aki simply shakes his head, turning to you both with a faint, but warm smile. His cheeks are red from the cold, and wisps of icy breath are expelled from his mouth when he deeply sighs. I'm alright. I'm so, so grateful for you both, you know. You two are the only family I could ever need. 

[ddoxhan]

say that it's love

on a day when stars pour down, so precious and rare I'll listen to every word you say, especially when it's love

word count : 4.8k words

genre : fluff and a sprinkle of appreciation for the people around you; you've been planning to confess but end up failing and you finally realize plans don't work; florist!hanni x fem!reader (a year older than hanni); girlfriends for the win !

t/w : none :) mentions of murder but jokingly?? (i fr dk how to t/w stuff)

a/n : hello everyone ! i present to you the final chap for 'baby's breath and lemon candies' series :D i hope this was a good wrap up for the short series :) enjoy !

taglist : @keiji-jin

you've been telling yourself that you were going to confess to hanni. and that has been the seventh time you've told yourself that after making up your mind. thinking and imagining about it was the easy step of the plan, but as you try to move onto the next stage of actually carrying out the confession, you just can't find the right timing to do it. (or more like you were just second guessing everything and maybe, you misunderstood her actions and she doesn't actually like you)

your attempts to confess ended up futile. the first time was very ambitious, as you were overflowing with passion to make it the best (and last) confession hanni would ever receive in her entire life. but that passion was met with the 'closed' sign on blooming potion's front door. a small note in the owner's cute handwriting, indicated she had closed early for personal reasons. (you forgot that hanni told you she was going to close early that day for a high school reunion dinner)

and that fact made you feel a little disheartened as it meant that she was going to be meeting her acquaintances who might possibly take the initiative to hit on hanni. to be fair, she's so beautiful that if they were to find out she was still single, your chance would be out the window that very second. (in the near future, you will come to know that all this worry was all for nothing because this certain someone had already fallen down the rabbit hole of love so deep, and she's happier than ever to be there)

since your plans were technically ruined (by yourself), you trudged your way back to blue rain in hopes that your beloved bosses were still in the middle of cleaning up the cafe. lucky for you, they were and you offered to close together. chaewon and minju noticed that you were looking unusually down hence they invited to go for a drink at downtown. technically, you had nothing to do so why not take up the offer? (safe to say, those two had to carry you back to your place and throw you onto your bed cause you drank till you were wasted)

the following attempt had a small margin of success but you were being a coward during the walk back home with her. fidgeting with the bicycle handles, kicking the small pebbles by the road, looking up into the sky, you name it. you tried so hard to shake off the nervousness and fear of getting rejected if you were to confess at that very moment. and by the time you thought you were ready, hanni had already walked up to her doorstep, waving goodbye with that smile you love. (which had you waving back at her awkwardly, as if you weren't so close to shout across that you liked her. which you didn't because that wasn't the best way to confess, obviously)

many more attempts had similar outcomes — failure. you weren't sure why it would end up being bad timings, or your cowardice getting the better of you. or sometimes, the thought of the confession flew past your head because you were too busy admiring hanni as you adore the way she puckers her lips every now and then when she talks about something, and the way her eyes sparkle when it comes to a topic she is interested in. (you were a simp for her, and you loved every second of it)

"you know, just standing by that counter every day at 8 won't get you a girlfriend."

chaewon's voice broke your trance as you tried to figure what went wrong with the last time you tried to confess.

"and you say that because you confessed to minju-unnie on the third date."

"no, I'm saying that because your ass needs to get moving before someone else stumbles upon your crush and makes a move on her."

you slouched on the counter with your arms, running your hands through your hair in frustration.

"it's not that I don't try, unnie. I've been attempting to for the past seven times."

the older girl gave you a skeptical look before standing from her seat by the window, placing her book down next to her cup of iced tea. (it wasn't peak hour so the shop didn't have any customers for the time being, therefore chaewon took the opportunity to laze around as she sent minju out to deliver the online orders)

"I don't know how you've attempted the past seven times, but have you ever considered not planning ahead?"

you looked up from your slouched position to find her leaning against the counter, eyeing you from above before she made her way into the working station.

"I've known you for three years now, and I just know that you would plan things ahead, a little too much ahead."

all you could do was stay silent and chuckle awkwardly because whatever chaewon had said was undeniably true.

"you love things to be perfect, just like how you would want the confession to be the most special, wonderful and extravagant experience for hanni."

"but you missed out on the part where it needs to be heartfelt."

with that, something rang within you. the bell of realization. you realize you weren't able to bring yourself to confess or carry out that plan in your head as it made things artificial. telling hanni you liked her had to come from your heart, not your brain. (during these kind of times, you thank chaewon for not roasting your dumb ass)

"and with it being heartfelt, it can also be simple."

while the older had hit you with words of wisdom, she had already finished brewing up a fresh cup of ice americano for you. it was one of the easiest to make on the menu and also a staple drink for customers in this season of summer.

just like this cup of ice americano, your confession could be simple and straightforward. no public stunts, no sparkles and party poppers, no surprises that would ruin the mood. just you, yourself, would bring out the best confession that only both you and hanni would ever know.

chaewon could only chuckle at your face of astonishment and enlightenment from her words. if she were to be truthful, although she had confessed on her third date with minju, she had also struggled to confess a lot of times before saying sike by kissing her. she had long noticed her on campus before they had officially met through the arranged date. (therefore she was speaking from experience)

she handed you the cup of coffee before leaving to finish that book she left on the table. as you drank your dose of caffeine for the day, you were motivated to just let that confession come naturally, just like how your feelings for hanni fell upon you.

the day went by rather quickly compared to the previous days where you were racking your head over the confession. before you bid farewell to chaewon and minju after closing up, you felt the urge to throw those two into a bear hug, and you did.

"what's with the sudden affection? are you going to kill us and take over the shop?"

minju thought you were going through late puberty these days, so she just went with the flow of whatever you did. including squealing like a lovesick high school girl swooning over a hot guy, which wasn't too far from where instead, you were just squealing over how cute hanni looks when she's asleep. (you went over to blooming potion as usual to walk the florist home but was met with a breathtaking sight of her asleep on the counter. therefore you couldn't help but take approximately 100 photos of her before she woke up naturally)

"maybe, who knows?"

and your playful reply earned a smack on your back from chaewon. but you just laughed it off, knowing that she rolled her eyes at your antics.

"okay, I'm not going to kill you but I am going to thank you for always being here for me, like older sisters."

"you guys just know what to say and when to say it, and I just felt like I wanted to thank you for it."

chaewon and minju exchanged glances and soon tears filled their eyes as it was their turns to bring you into a bear hug.

"you're growing up so fast."

"our baby is so mature these days, I feel so sad."

"why the hell are you talking like you raised me or something?"

they actually do treat you like their baby, especially when minju is giving you butt pats and squishing your cheeks right now.

"technically we sort of did throughout university until we graduated, and we're still raising you through your uni days."

"alright moms, I think the affection session has ended, so I will get going."

as you squirm out of their tight grips, they each gave you a ruffle on your hair before they walked hand in hand towards the opposite direction. (those two act more like your parents than your actual ones)

when you turned around, the familiar sight of blooming potion filled your heart with warmth and love. the thought of being this in love with someone would have never crossed your mind even if just a year ago. it's about time you knew, maybe, you don't like her.

maybe, you love her.

"need help with that?"

the soft ring of the bell on the door accompanied with your voice was something hanni could never get tired off. instead, it was more than she can ever ask for to have you by her side every day as you two walked home. all the days throughout spring into summer this year was special to her. (when she turned over to her left, you came into sight, smiling at her, and that's when her day is complete)

"unnie, I'm pretty sure you're shorter than I am."

she whipped her head towards the sound of your voice while she was arranging some stocks on the top shelves. your offended face had her burst out in laughter but thankfully, she was careful enough up there to not drop anything.

"you're lucky I'm in a good mood today, so I'm letting you off the hook."

it's been months since you've met hanni and came over every evening to walk her home. you oh so naturally walked over to the counter to close the cashier, followed with cleaning up the flower remnants on the countertops.

"what put you in a good mood?"

hanni came down from the ladder before walking over to you by the countertops.

"I don't know, I just feel happy and all that. just not in a bad mood, I guess."

you actually didn't know why. perhaps, you woke up on the right side of the bed, the cafe didn't have any nasty customers with complicated orders, and chaewon wasn't roasting your ass for once. maybe all of these combined made you a better day than the rest, which were undeniably good days too. (you had a hunch that something good was going to happen but couldn't pinpoint on what it was exactly)

"then that calls for a celebration!"

seeing the girl being happy on your behalf, although it was something so trivial. it warmed your heart a little, reminded that you have someone who cherishes you more than yourself.

"for my good mood?"

"yup! we can head to town for this really good ramen place, and right opposite it is a bakery I've really wanted to try."

whenever hanni talked about food, especially bread, her face would literally light up. the next thing you know, you'll have her ramble on about what bread she's into right now and what new stores she's discovered. (you found it really adorable, very endearing as all you do whenever she does that is stare and nod because whatever she likes, you will also)

"sounds like you're eager to go more than I do."

you couldn't help but let a chuckle escape your lips as her cheeks are painted with a light shade of pink. her attempt to hide by turning around with her back facing you let you know you were bullseye. (not sure if it's because you two spend so much time together, her ears turn red when she's shy or embarrassed, just like you do)

"alright, let's close up real quick and head over. hope you don't mind my driving."

renting a car definitely wasn't within the budget. it simply amazes you every time when you find yourself doing the unimaginable for the love of your life.

"two bowls of regular pork bone soup ramen, with an agedashi tofu side. thank you."

the place was rather quiet, despite being in the always bustling town. you wonder how hanni had found such a place, and before you could even look over to ask her, it's as if she read your mind.

"actually, an old friend of mine owns this place. she's currently out right now so maybe later, I could introduce you to her."

"I haven't even asked you, yet you just know what goes on in my head."

"perks of spending time together every day? you know how much we talk throughout the walks and those calls."

"well that, I can't deny."

curiosity about this friend of hers occupied your mind, which had you shoot your question.

"who's this old friend by the way? high school acquaintaince?"

"mhm, we reconnected after losing contact with each other at the reunion dinner the other day."

a nod was your only answer, because what else could you have done? imagine being so young and already running a whole shop on your own, you could never. not when you're only a struggling university student. (to be honest, you were slightly jealous of this old friend of hers before coming to know that she was already dating someone)

before you could create the worst scenarios of hanni and her friend in your head, the food arrived quicker than you expected. maybe god was also trying to save you from unnecessary heartache and worry about those two because really, there was absolutely nothing to fret about.

you tried your best to tell yourself that, but you just couldn't shake off that feeling of uncertainty which began eating you up. rather than eating up the bowl of ramen in front of you. even the younger girl felt it in the air around you, constantly eyeing you as you looked troubled, contradicting the very reason why you were here.

"hanni?"

"jen!"

an unfamiliar voice uttering her name had your head shoot up so fast, you almost choked on that piece of meat that you were swallowing. your eyes followed hanni's movements before it stopped upon a figure a lot taller than her. that was when your head short-circuited before it proceeded to run on that energy drink you had earlier.

"why didn't you tell me you were gonna drop by?"

"it isn't a surprise anymore if I just tell you."

their banter seemed so natural that it made you feel a little out of place. but you kept a façade that you believed wasn't too easy to see through, that you were making this stranger who is an acquaintance of hanni, your competition. (as you relived these memories in a very near future, you wished to smash your head into a wall, hoping to get a wake-up call because you were an idiot for even thinking)

but that didn't last long as your date tiptoed to whisper into jen's ears with the latter bending down a little to match their height. you had no right to be fuming but you did, internally and discreetly. (however, that was when you didn't know that hanni had been asking for advice from jen about her extremely obvious crush on an extremely obvious someone. what she whispered was, 'that's the girl I like by the way, so don't do anything stupid')

the two walked back over to your table before jen flashed you an unsettling and mysterious smile that had some meaning behind it, offering her hand along.

"nice to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you from hanni."

"jennifer, or yunjin. if you prefer korean."

her glance over to the said girl earned her a smack before you stood up to accept the handshake politely.

"nice to meet you, yunjin. although she hasn't told me anything about you, I did hear that you own this place."

"yes I do, along with my girlfriend. I hope you like the food so far, they're century-old recipes passed down from my girlfriend's family so I can guarantee it'd be the best ramen you can have in town."

although yunjin was explaining about the restaurant, you blanked out after hearing the word 'girlfriend'. it would have been great if you could just dig up a hole instantly and bury yourself in it cause oh boy, why did you put yourself through so much agony only to find out this rival of yours wasn't even competing with you in the first place. it was as if you were putting up a fight with an inflatable balloon, if that made sense.

"are you okay?"

the concern laced in hanni's voice dragged you out of your daze.

"yeah, I'm fine. sorry about that, just had a little something going in my head. not the best first impression, I know."

"don't worry, we all have those times. I'll take my leave first, I hope you enjoy the rest of your dinner."

as yunjin excused herself to tend to the restaurant, the two of you resumed with your meals. hanni's eyes never left you the entire time which made you a little awkward before malfunctioning altogether. her undivided attention on you made you wary of everything you did, including the way you chewed on your food or how big each bite was. it was making your heart pound a little harder than usual, but the thought of that didn't cross her mind as she was genuinely worried that you might have been uncomfortable with something.

alas, she was put to ease when you started to regain that playful demeanor of yours towards the end of the meal. you also let your guard down a little when hanni gave yunjin and her girlfriend, kazuha, a hug before leaving the restaurant. the two owners were bigger lovebirds than you expected, ultimately letting out that breath you were holding unknowingly. (honey, loosen up because no one's gonna take your girlfriend away from you)

initially, you were to drive back after dinner and drop your date off before heading back to your place. but seeing how there probably won't be another chance like this (a car you meant) with her, here goes nothing.

"would you mind if we headed south to the beach?"

you suggestion was either a hit or miss, and you could tell hanni loved the idea from the way her eyes shimmered a little at the thought of the calming ambience and scent of the sea. (it's been a while since she visited and she had always loved the sea more than mountains. it oddly felt like home, and so did you)

"of course! after all, I'm not the one driving."

she tried to play off her excitement nonchalantly, earning a chuckle from you.

"alright, let's head off then."

"oh, and we can even have those pastries by the beach."

perhaps because it was a weekday, there weren't many people by the beach. and you weren't complaining as that meant peace and quiet from potential screaming children. (you don't despise kids, but sometimes they can really get on your nerves)

you used to come to the beach back in your hometown as a kid with your parents and sister. your mom would enjoy the sun under the parasol while your dad went to fetch some drinks from the nearby store. you and your sister would build sandcastles and occasionally fight over who made a better one. (your dad would usually be the mediator, critiquing both sandcastles as if they were one of his projects)

the visits slowly died down as you grew older and you were convinced that your sister studying overseas contributed to it. but you do agree that the beach visits need not be so often, especially when your parents were getting old. (it was much better when your mom started reconnecting with her school friends and your dad going for golf with his retiree partners, enjoying the personal time they finally have after you moved out too)

"there's a really nice gazebo over there."

hanni pointed over to the lone gazebo sitting in the middle of the sand. it was a really odd place to see one but you did not question further as she pulled you along. (it would have been nice if she gave you more time to grab the box of pastries cause you almost shook up everything in it)

"hanni, slow down! the pastries are gonna get ruined!"

sometimes, you wonder if she loved bread more than she loved you. that does not sound right. hey, as a friend. (but not for long)

"my pastries!"

she came into an instant halt, making you almost squashing your face against her shoulder. the halt was necessary, with you by the gazebo already. it was a lot more cozy than you had expected, still a little chilly from the night breezes but it was just nice.

you knew she was very impatient ever since you had mentioned the beach. from the way her fingers kept fiddling with the hem of her shirt and how she struggled to conceal a wide grin from being plastered across her face.

hanni couldn't even wait for you to take a seat next to her as she opens the box, revealing the pastries that you and her had chosen before having dinner. even after a bowl of ramen, she still had more space for dessert. (you know what they say, people have a second stomach for desserts and hanni was not an exception)

the food you had earlier was finally easing down from potential indigestion. so you decided to watch the way her cheeks are puffed up from being full with pastries, the way her hair fluttered along the wind, and that cream below her mouth. (you found it adorable which had you leave it there for a while before doing something about it)

"you got some cream there."

pointing at your own to show her, hanni's eyes bore into yours as she attempts to wipe it off. she misses by a margin before trying again, and fails to locate it.

the smile on your face never left while she struggled, rummaging your pocket for the packet of tissue you usually carry along with you. pulling a single piece out, you folded it properly before facing her.

suddenly, you felt yourself break down. not emotionally, rather physically. you know when you see something so entrancing and mesmerizing, you just stop doing whatever you did and changed your course of action according to the visual info? yeah, that was your exact response.

the moonlight cascading on hanni's face, how her eyes glisten, as if she was looking at a person she cherishes a lot. perhaps she does cherish you a lot. and the proximity between your faces was a lot to take in (at this very moment, there was only one thing in your mind, and it sounds absolutely amazing)

your hand holding that tissue dropped down as you dived in to kiss the cream off of hanni's skin. it was a quick peck, your upper lip lightly grazing her lower lip as you pulled back to see her frozen. (big doe eyes, stiff body, mouth agape. if someone happened to walk past at that timing, they would've thought she saw a ghost)

you didn't know where that immense courage came from, and you were pretty sure even hanni was taken aback by your bold move. usually, she would be the one giving you cheek kisses for walking her back.

the grin that was already sporting on her face was replaced with a wider one if possible, and a different one at that. something about it told you that she was more than okay with what you had did back there. and maybe, it caused something to click in your head, figuratively and perhaps literally as if a switch had flipped on.

.

.

.

'confess.'

this very thought caused the adrenaline to course through your system, driving you into an overdrive of emotions. feeling that this was the timing to do it, you take a deep breath as you opened your mouth.

"I like you."

did you already say it before you actually thought you were ready? but that didn't sound like your voice. by the time you had snapped back from your questions, you felt a pair of hands cupping your cheeks before pulling you in closer.

everything went by like a flash and before you could comprehend things properly, hanni's lips on yours was the only thing that mattered at that moment. you could feel chills run down your back before leaving a tingling feeling across your whole body, contradicting the warmth that filled your insides. you weren't making any sense with your descriptions but whatever. (it might have been because of the wind but you knew better that it was hardly cold on summer nights)

'so this is how kisses feel like,' as you thought to yourself. the quick peck wasn't quite similar with this. you could feel hanni's feelings in that kiss, as if she was trying to tell you that she had been in love with you ever since she met you. (technically she did, but it was that she took approximately a week after to admit)

the kiss didn't last very long, considering how you practically broke down as your hands not knowing where to go. if anything, you were sure you looked like an absolute idiot in love with the person right in front of you, which was perfectly accurate.

"so.. do you like me too?"

maybe something about kissing hanni had a certain effect on you as you proceed to nod to her affirmative question, totally forgetting how to make up words to answer her. in a simple conclusion, your brain crashed and automatically had 404 error windows popping up, like how it usually does when she gets too close to you.

"gosh why are you so cute."

the compliments didn't help either with your crimson cheeks as they soon spread through your entire face. the sight of you being embarrassed than ever created the urge for her to wrap you in her arms as she coos at you, which she gladly succumbed to.

although you hadn't said much since, the reciprocated hug consisted of a thousand words of reassurance that you felt the same for her, if not more. as you remained still, listening carefully to your heartbeat and breaths slowly matching hers, your heart swelled when you realized that you found someone to love and that someone loves you very dearly too.

"you know, actually."

hanni's voice pierced through your attention on the everlasting moment. she pulled away slightly from the embrace, yet still holding onto you, before gazing into your eyes and saying the words that you didn't know you wanted to hear from the person you have met accidentally in spring, which was your most hated season.

"I love you,"

"and I will for as long as you and I are here."

every moment spent with hanni felt like a dream, even now. countless times, you had felt that you weren't someone who deserves such an angel in your mundane days, but she reassures you that you are someone who's deserving of all the nice things that exists in the world. (which she hates about because you were more than deserving of love and warmth, and she had been ready to be the one who gave those to you for a long time)

your hearty laugh wasn't something she or anyone in particular got to hear often. it was as if you were content with whatever that life was, for the first time. for the first time that you received the love that you had always wanted. and also because hanni stole your confession right out of your hands.

"you know, that was kinda my line, but I'll let it slide because I am in a good mood today."

"but also because it's you. you're my only exception, pham hanni."

"if I can, I'll say it over and over again until you get tired of me."

.

"I love you,"

"like baby's breath and lemon candies."

previous | masterlist | next

[olivegardenhunter]

one thing that I find really really interesting is that in practically every scene where it's just jiraiya and tsunade alone, kishimoto very deliberately draws at least a panel of the two of them being completely silent in each other's companies, even refusing to look at each other.

when jiraiya got drinks with tsunade in og

when he got drinks with her before he left. notice that neither of them are making any eye contact, refusing to look at each other.

the iconic bench scene ofc

why this is important to me is cause I think it's an excellent way on kishi's part to show the dynamic and history between the two of them (and the sannin as a whole too). ((note this isn't a jiratsu post))

the few scenes we get of the two of them talking alone, you always get the impression that there's a secondary, entirely silent conversation going on in the background that only the two of them even know about. a conversation about all the things they cannot say. and he conveys that so well in these deliberate panels. you can SEE in their expressions, in the things that they do say when they choose to break the silence. there's so much between them, so much they yearn to say. and the weight of all of that, the depth of those feelings and emotions, is ultimately what makes them not say anything at all.

because you've known each other since you were SIX years old, you fought WARS together, this is a person you'd put your life on the line for without a second of hesitation. yet. there is a 20 year gap. you haven't spoken with each other for as long as you grew up together too. they've lived an entire lifetime together, but then an entire equally as long lifetime apart. they're the same person they've always been but yet... you can't really recognise the person in front of you. they both can see that they've become shells of the people they used to be. you both have gone through so much, and you know the the other person knows this. you know it so intimately, what things you can say, what things you can't. youre being so careful yet you both know there's this pretense going on.

there's so much left, yet so little. after all of that, what is there even left to be said? what CAN be said? they're already so intimately aware of what the other is thinking, there's nothing new, yet somehow, there's this gap. there's this emptiness that both know they can't really do anything about.

in the end, the sannin are a tragic trio. and kishi does an excellent job of showing this through their stories and histories, sure. but he does an even better job at showing it through their small interactions together. the way they always end up talking about the past, the attempt to bring up happier times (like tsunade trying to reminisce about their genin days as team hiruzen), yet how they ALWAYS come back to ultimately how they fell apart, and the world kept spinning, and all they can do is try to make sure the future doesn't make the same mistakes they did.

what can you even say to someone like that? it must've been so freeing, to have someone that understands them to such an extent. that would know them more than anyone else in the world ever could imagine. and yet. so suffocating. because they're a reminder. a reminder of what you used to be, a reminder of what could've been, a reminder of how everything went wrong, every single mistake you ever made. and so despite the person in front of you being the only person in the world that likely knows exactly how you're feeling, what you're going through, all your experiences, they're also somehow the last person you can ever speak to about any of it. because it becomes like a trap almost. they're constantly reminded of their pasts when they look at each other. how can you ever begin to move on with someone like that right in front of you?

once upon a time, they were the hope of konoha. they were the young shinobi, meant to bring in a new era of peace, meant to be the change. and they wholeheartedly believed this too. and then, to make it to 50, after everything they went through, and realising they were no better off than the generation before them. that everything they ever stood for, ever fought for, were all practically in vain. and how suddenly the people meant to be the change for the future can only hope to make sure there is still even a chance for change for the next generation.

really, what else are they meant to do around each other than continue their little dance or chess game and let the unspoken remain unspoken?

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: Backstage (Closer)

In which you're starting to wonder what Jungkooks intentions might be- and what yours could possibly turn into.

Tags/Warnings: Black Leopard Hybrid!Jungkook, Rockstar!Jungkook, Rusty Spotted Cat Hybrid!Reader, minor angst, major fluff, strangers to lovers, did I mention fluff, reader gets injured but only a bit, fainting, big cat kook, Dom!Kook, future smut

Additional Chapter Warnings: gym kook, sweaty kook, it's getting spicier

Length: mid

Additional Content: Intro, Cuddles

•●━━━━━━━━━━••♡••━━━━━━━━━━●•

Ever since meeting him in his Hotel, and finding out that back in Seoul, you both don't live that far apart, he's been craving your presence at all times it seems. He's eager to have you around, happier- so much so that even his bandmates notice a significant change in his attitude. While he used to be gloomy and rather upset about the upcoming hiatus the band had been planning, since Namjoons mate was close to giving birth to their first child, nowadays he seems happy about it.

"Not gonna meet your girl tonight?" Taehyung asks teasingly, as his bandmate packs his bag. He'd earlier told everyone that he'd be going to the gym after this last meetup, and with the entire band well aware of his newfound infatuation with you, they can't help but tease the youngest.

"Oh, she's gonna be there." Jungkook grins boyishly to himself as he zips up his bag. "We're gonna watch a movie at my place tonight, you know, see where things go." He shrugs, moving to get his jacket.

"Got one you've got to work for, huh?" Jimin jokes, and only now does Jungkook seem to realize how his words must've come across.

"I, no." He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. "I actually don't aim for that, really. She's cool to have around, you know? Cute, but easy, if that makes sense. She's real." He explains, getting a pat on the back from his bandleader Namjoon.

"Sounds like she fits you." He says. "Make sure to treat her right." He advises, and Jungkook nods eagerly, before walking off to his gym appointment.

He's in the middle of his warmup when you show up- your scent immediately hitting him as you walk through the door, quietly greeting his coach and then him as to not interrupt anything, rather opting to sit down on the sidelines where you assume his things where placed. "Look at you, taking things seriously all of a sudden." His coach teases, making the black leopard hybrid roll his eyes as he punches a bit harder.

You can't deny that seeing him work out like that has it's appeal.

You've always craved the presence of someone who's able to provide not only mental safety and comfort, but physical as well. Until now, you've always handled your life on your own- with no parents growing up, and no other support than your own in your life, you've started to really feel like you might never find a person you could trust in enough to make you feel like you don't have to worry about anything. But with Jungkook proudly displaying his strength like this, he more and more seems to become just that person you've been looking for-

Or maybe he always has been just that, and you've simply not found him yet.

You occasionally occupy yourself with your phone to check e-mails or look at messages, but still, time seems to pass by quickly as you watch him train. When he slides towards you on his knees, he ends up way closer than you've anticipated- noses almost touching, but he only grins impishly, making you slightly disappointed that he didn't lean in to kiss you in that moment.

All in due time, you tell yourself.

Instead, he gives you a bit more space, as he breathes heavily, grabbing his water bottle that's been standing right next to you. "You know what movie we wanna watch yet?" He asks between sips of water, and you shrug.

"We could watch Doctor strange? I've rented it a few days ago but I never watched it yet, and the time to watch is running out this weekend, so.." You say, and he nods, closing his almost empty bottle before putting it back.

"Sounds good to me!" He chirps, pushing back his hair. It's by now wildly curled from his sweat, and for some reason, you don't mind it one bit. "I'll go shower real quick and then we can get going, alright?" He asks, and you nod. It's then that he notices the size of your bag- and he can't help but ask, as to not get his hopes up for nothing. "You staying over?" He wonders, and you nod.

"I- thought? I mean, I can go home tonight as well if it's better.." You say, but he immediately jumps in.

"No no no that's cool, totally cool, I'd love for you to stay over!" He hurries out, before he realizes how that might've sounded. "Not for anything, you know, except if you'd like to? I mean that's alright with me too, but we totally don't have to!" He rambles, noticing how you seem both amused and a little bashful at his words. "You know what? I'm gonna go take a shower now, before I dig myself deeper." He says, making you laugh as he runs off to do just what he'd said.

You don't know why exactly; you've never been very interested in being sexual with any partner- but for some reason, you wouldn't even mind him becoming a bit bolder with you. And it's not (just) because he's visually attractive. It's most of all the fact that he doesn't push it whatsoever, rather always making sure that you're comfortable and okay with everything he does.

So later, in the car, you can't help but wonder-

How much can you tease him, until his patience runs out?

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic Pucci with prompt number 2 from deadlaughter's yandere prompt list!

Sure. You are an amnesiac similar to Weather/Wes so Pucci can keep you in the prison... you may have also been volatile with him in the past but... who's to say, right?

Prompt Here

Yandere! Enrico Pucci Prompt 2

"My love for you is a force that not even God can stop."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Brainwashing, Amnesia, Delusional behavior, Manipulation, Isolation, Pucci takes advantage of your amnesia, Dubious relationship.

You didn't belong here.

Not like you knew that, though. Pucci was careful to make sure you didn't. You two have indeed had some... falling out in the past, in his eyes you didn't need to remember.

Not only that, but Pucci enjoyed the idea of you needing him for guidance. He's always been quite the calm man as a priest. You are one of the few things Pucci enjoys... other than DIO and God.

Part of him knows he should feel bad for doing this to you. He's treating you like an oblivious bird in a cage. Forced to believe the narrative that you've killed someone... when Pucci merely lied to keep your presence close.

Well, you have killed people in the past... but that's not why you're here.

Despite being a priest, Pucci is good at lying. He even lies to the guards, saying you're meant to attend cathedral work with him during your sentence. He convinces the guards by saying you're well behaved... that Pucci will call if anything happens.

He never does, not when you keep looking up to him with curious gazes.

Pucci kept your discs hidden away where only he can find them, no doubt always on his person within his robes. He no doubt has a memory disc for you... but perhaps he even has a Stand Ability. You are no threat to him... just his prized bird in a birdcage.

Keeping you here is like... a fresh start. One where you two aren't fighting, where you aren't running. A new start where he can refresh the relationship between you.

This time he plans to make you love him willingly.

As though he's committed no sin, he captures your attention with charismatic words. The priest knows how to speak to people. It isn't hard for him to make you fond of him.

Everyone trusts a priest.

He doesn't care if using amnesia to keep you is wrong. Pucci believes you're both happier this way. He loves you... adores you... is obsessed with you...

Nothing could pull him from you... He'd do anything just to have you.

Such an obsession is a flaw in him. Desire is a poison that can distract him from achieving heaven. Yet he can't help it.

God could tell him to let you go... maybe even DIO...

Yet Pucci would still cling to you, wanting you to rely on him, even if it means making you only remember your name.

"My love for you is a force that not even God can stop." Pucci whispers to himself as you continue your duties in the cathedral. You're so cute when oblivious... completely unaware that the priest you trust has fabricated your entire life in this prison in a way no one else can.

You deserve to live your life at your home, when you were doing your usual life. You no doubt deserve a life before Pucci came along and got attached. You should be better off without him...

But Pucci is not better off without you.

You have no clue of his obsession or true feelings. He's no fool, he knows to wait for when the time is right. When you're most receptive to him... when you love him... he'll confess and officially make you his again.

However, until then, Pucci takes comfort in you being here with him. In a way... you're still his at this moment. You may not know it yet... but you are his.

You rely on him, he has your memories... and even before you came here he claimed you as his. Ever since he first saw you, a fellow compatriot of DIO... He couldn't get you out of his head. When DIO passed, Pucci proposed the idea of you being his.

You didn't agree, either fully loyal to DIO or wanting to separate yourself from anything involving him. Such an idea was admirable and understandable... but made Pucci frustrated. You two fought, you even tried to leave as you felt threatened... but in the end you became his.

Pucci can't help but release a fond sigh. You are defenseless without your memories and Stand. Just his cute little partner, no longer a deadly assassin whose loyalty was only to DIO at one point in time.

This is the second time Pucci has had to disarm someone close to him with his Stand... but in the end, he feels it's worth it.

This way... This way he can encourage you to give him a chance, to love him in a more secure environment....

He'll never have to share you if you only trust him... his plan has worked so far... you're his...

He'll do anything to keep you as his... to keep you both happy.

[wanderingblindly]

⭐star⭐  - dealer's choice to yap -- wiz

Bless you for enabling me and my urge to Yap constantly 💖💖 I think I wanna talk about on of my weird lestappen fics, I Know Your Name (But Not Who You Are).

This fic, though slightly less viewed, is genuinely one of my favorites I’ve ever written. I set out to capture a really specific sense of self-imposed loneliness, an aimless wandering in order to avoid feeling pulled back into your past, and I think I did that.

It’s a rare sentiment, but genuinely every scene in this is precious to me; I can’t pick a favorite on my own. So instead, I’ll pick some of my favorite lines to talk about:

And Max will win, as he always wins.  And Charles will pay, as he always pays.   And Max will smile at him, the smile that always makes the sun feel like it’s close enough to burn.   And the chocolate on his tongue, warmed by Max’s hand, will taste sweet. 

I love the rhythm of this line more than anything, and I think its impact is twofold. First, as a childhood flashback, I wanted the line to feel evocative of a children’s story — perhaps a nursery rhyme; when I read this aloud, I can almost hear it in a mother's voice, I can almost hear the sound of someone turning the thick page of a children’s picture book. Second, the easy flow of it mirrors how natural these events felt to past-Charles. It doesn’t need to be over explained or lingered on, because it just… is how it is. It’s a simple fact of life.

“I know it.” Max always sounded assured, like he alone controlled the universe. His destiny. And maybe he did, maybe that’s why he hated Charles so much on the track – because he took that from him.   Maybe that’s what made Charles special to him.  

This line is a favorite because of its characterization. It succinctly explains so much about the two of them: the inherent tension of Charles's being something of a disruptor in Max's life, Max being something stable and strong, etc. etc.

I also like that it establishes their personal relationship through the context of racing. There's something poignant about that to me.

“It’s ok.” Max says, like a moment from so long ago. A moment reversed, a moment outside the track, tucked behind his father’s van. A moment knee to knee, just like this. “It’s ok that you changed, Charles.” He’s whispering, the contrast to Charles’s outburst nearly painful – the intimacy even more obvious.  Max’s hands are still on his, holding him like he can’t bear to let go again.  “I didn’t want to.” Charles’s voice cracks, the honesty painful on this tongue. 

Listen, I have a lot of favorite lines, but I'll stop myself here.

I love this exchange because it feels like the thesis statement of the entire narrative; change is some inevitable thing, and sometimes it's done to you even when you don't want it.

Charles, in his mind, would have been happier still living in Monaco with Max, Arthur, and his parents. He would have been happier if nothing ever happened, if he still walked to the same stores and talked to the same people. And maybe that's true, maybe he would have been happy. But the fact that that reality couldn't happen, that's not something he has to blame himself for; it isn't some moral failing for life to sculpt you into a version of yourself you didn't expect.

The entire fic was Charles grappling with the idea that he'd been forced to become someone he never envisioned. And meeting Max again felt like trying to push together two halves of a different whole -- it was incongruous. I think, in this scene, it's Max trying to softly tell him that they can make a new whole -- that who they are now doesn't mean they can't have what they did then.

Idk it makes me soft. I like the dialogue too, very stylized and simple.

If you've made it this far, feel free to ask me about any of my fics :)

[coenloveshisbffpouty]

Don't change.

I tell you that all the time

The more I do the more I realize

That even if you change

I would love you through any change.

I think the reason I tell you not to change

Isn't because I don't want to see you grow

Or because I don't want to see you be happier

But because in a way I'm selfish and my love is all consuming only for you.

Even when you don't feel beautiful.

Even when you look into a mirror and never enjoy what you see.

Even though you try to avoid seeing yourself or your body.

I would do countless things to make you

In your eyes, where self-disdain may dwell, I'd trade gazes, that you might see yourself well.

So you could see yourself as perfectly as I do.

I've always been the type to talk and dissapear.

I've never clung onto anyone or keep friends.

It seems I always do something wrong.

It seems I always drive others away from me

It seems like I'm never good enough.

Not for others so definitely not for someone like you.

Someone who is so kind that they have no choice but to call theirself naive and stupid.

But being kind amidst a world so harsh isn't naive,weak, nor is it stupid.

I think it's one of the strongest things you can do.

Something I was never able to do.

After being hurt a few times I gave up on being kind

Maybe that's also why I never want you to be unkind and change.

I don't want you to be like me.

The beautiful words that you say were never made for someone like me.

The ways in which you miss me make me feel a warm embrace on my heart.

The ways in which you never call me it but I know deep down I'm your favourite makes me ache.

Ache to do anything to stay your favourite.

Because I've never been anyones favourite.

I've never been promised that someone would stay and they would actually stay.

I've never been told I don't have to try so hard as you always tell me.

I've never had a kind person like you in my life.

It's like you're everything good and I'm everything bad.

I only wish you were within my grasp,

For I would hold you with a firm locing grip and never let anyone even graze your kind heart.

I would never let anyone dirty your pure soul.

With you I never feel as though I'm not enough.

So I want you to feel the same way with me.

And maybe thats why, sometimes I get mad.

Seeing you talk to others as though their the best you've ever had.

I'm sorry for being so in love with you that I can't see anyone else.

But when I saw you nude for the first time although you were fully clothed.

I fell so hard, as autumn leaves do.

They fall slow and steady until they can't get back to where they once were anymore.

I saw you naked, but yet nothing physical.

Instead I saw just how deeply your affection goes.

I saw the things you were afraid to show others.

I saw everything that you hide as though they make you not feel human.

I saw everything that you thought anyone would hate that made me fall even harder.

I want to always be here for you and hold your hand,

vowing to love everything about you even if i dont understand.

You say you know love exists because you exist and you're full of it.

Your love is like, a reservoir full to the brim,

Overflowing, touching hearts not meant to swim.

Like me.

So much that everyday I crave you to tell me you love me and that you're doing well.

You're beautiful words and the kind things you do for I were never meant for a person like me.

I wonder how I ever had the dumb idea of falling for you when there are so many greater than me.

Youre everything good and I'm all that is bad.

This love of mine leaves me terribly sad.

The light in your eyes which makes me lose my sense of direction have such a distant glow

even when I feel like I'm so far away from you always left behind in your shadow.

Why did i ever choose a path so tough.

even when I know my love will never be enough.

You are a beautiful sunrise and I'm a dimming sunset.

My words are never good enough, nor are my actions, or my entire being.

Why did I have to love a love where you are everything good,

and I am everything bad?

Is that what you think I believe?

I don't think of that at all.

My love for you is not wasted

I feel more as if its for the better.

Because everyone who has once held you

Shattered you just a little bit.

So I want to show you truly that unconditional love exists.

And you are worthy of this love the same as everyone else.

Did you think you weren't?

Because of the bad things you think

Not only about life but also yourself?

You may declare yourself tainted

But my brush will always defy.

On a blank clanvas, I crafted a vision so sublime

Silk dark hair portraying, eyes that brightly shine.

Yet, this painting of mine merely scratches the surface,

For your heart is terribly sweet, with love so honest.

Complex thoughts in a mind which explores,

Feelings that resonate, sincere and yours.

In hues of emotion, my brush will always display,

A masterpiece of love, in every single way.

You can gaze upon my art

As much as you'd like.

It isn't just your physical beauty.

It's ineffable and it is true.

It isn't just physical for it is the essence of you.

Every chapter of your life is imperfect with blemishes.

But each blemish a chapter is a vital part.

Because we all have imperfections.

Some worse than others.

But no one blooms every moment of their time on earth.

Just like flowers we also sometimes may wither and dry up.

Just like the moons cycle we may have moments where we are dull and not bright.

But what is important is we will always to back to how we were.

Even if it sounds absurd.

I tell you not to change

But even you can't always remain the same.

My love for you is undying.

Not because my heart beats only for you

And not because all I think of is you.

But because you feel as though you're the other half of my soul.

My best friend

You and I are both aware.

I will die and so will you

But I write countless things

With you woven deep into my words.

Hoping that atleast one person remembers them.

So my love for you will never be forgotten.

If others love you with a grain, I would give you the entire dessert.

For a heart as kind of yours deserves no less.

Your love is a haven where I can be myself,

Wherever life takes us, it's where I belong.

So go ahead, dream big, chase your hearts desires,

For in my arms, you'll always have a home.

[lucifersresources]

pale waves // unwanted rp lyrics meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

lies.

you called it love but it never had that feeling.

you ripped out my heart.

do you feel happier yet?

do you say some things you regret?

i'm feeling better alone.

you messed me up.

can't take those stabs in the back.

i'm in over my head.

i'm so over you.

all your lies, they just caught up with you.

i'll forgive but i won't forget.

we all make mistakes but yours, i just can't shake.

unwanted.

you're so good at making me feel like nothing.

you're so good at making me feel unwanted.

my distorted view on us is starting to get too much.

you don't love anybody.

your silence fills the air.

why did you keep me hanging on?

i'd never fit your perfect life.

i'm nothing but a goodbye.

the hard way.

i could tell you were good at hiding your pain.

i saw your heartache.

i stayed away.

i didn't protect you.

i just assumed that you were okay.

i learnt the hard way.

you left us too soon.

they took all your power.

it's haunting me.

why does someone have to lose?

jealousy.

jealousy is haunting me.

so bad at biting my tongue.

wish you were mine.

don't mention any other name that doesn't sound like mine.

i'll never be replaced.

i satisfy.

i won't pretend and i won't apologise.

i gotta have you to myself.

why would i want anybody else?

you think i care at all?

you know you infect my soul.

i can't change your past.

alone.

i've heard a lot of things, you and your reputation.

it's the furthest thing from love.

go to hell.

i'd rather spend my entire lifetime alone.

you'd be an ultimate waste of time.

i feel your desperation.

will somebody put me out of my misery.

you've already come undone.

clean.

you're underneath my skin.

show me what i've been missing all of this time.

i just can't get enough.

you're the one drug that i don't want to get clean from.

is it too soon to say that i'm falling?

i can't get off of you.

i'm hooked.

i don't really care if it's my fault.

without you.

it's no fun to stay the same.

you get hurt, then you learn.

feels like a piece of me is missing.

i don't know how i'm supposed to feel.

you're not here anymore.

i'll learn to carry on without you.

all i have is these memories to get me through the night.

i fought my best but never won.

i tried to make you stay.

was there something i didn't say?

i survived somehow.

only problem.

you can call me naïve for hoping you would fix me.

i'm foolish to believe you could pick up the pieces.

there's nothing left.

maybe you're the only problem.

it's time to let you go.

i can't help but to think of you now.

every bad thing i would do, it was always with you.

the problem wasn't me, it was you.

you're so vain.

i'm gonna bring you down.

i've tried my best to bite my tongue.

i've listened to your shit for far too long.

you'll get what you deserve.

if you could, you'd go and marry yourself.

you're so vain.

when you open up your narcissistic mouth, all you do is let me down.

you think you're always right.

you think that you're perfect.

putting up with you was never ever worth it.

you're blinded by your own vanity.

reasons to live.

i'm gonna stay this way.

i hit rock bottom.

you picked me up when i was down on the floor.

you showed me how to love myself a little more.

how am i supposed to breathe when i feel this fucking weak?

you are the medicine to get me by.

you are the therapy to ease my mind.

you catch me every time.

numb.

i don't think i'm going anywhere.

i'm too numb to even care at all.

happiness is something i can't find.

there's gotta be something more than this.

i can't even run away.

act my age.

when did everything start falling apart?

where did all the time go?

thought those times would last forever.

better get my shit together now.

wish you were still around.

memories fade.

guess i'd better act my age.

nothing's making sense.

they say that youth is wasted on the young.

so sick (of missing you).

i'm so sick of missing you.

i don't know how we lost control.

you gave up on us.

without water, the flowers don't grow.

you didn't even notice me.

didn't know that you could be so fucking cruel to me.

it's not surprise that you just don't care.

you were never mine.

i tell myself that i'm getting better without you.

loving you is something that i don't wanna do.

[amazing-spiderling]

For the fic writer asks,

🌿how does creating make you feel?

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

<3

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Ahh... wow... well, sometimes during, a little stressed, ngl. That's probably why I enjoy working on projects with friends and sharing things so much- having someone to bounce ideas off of and work with helps take some of the pressure off, but I also don't want to let them down, so it keeps me engaged even when things get challenging. Then after a project gets shared/posted, there's an immediate sense of relief- like whew! I can take it easy for a day. (Or the, "nobody ever ask me for anything ever again" feeling haha). And over time, that relief turns to satisfaction, especially as I look back after a long time and thing, "Wow, yeah. I did that."

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I wrote a fic for a recent Metal Gear Solid zine called, "Dance Like You Want to Win", (an Evangelion reference I've been dying to use in an MGS fic for years). It was based on an idea I had for a story that was over a decade old, and I actually found part of my original draft collecting dust in the bottom of my google docs. I hadn't written for the fandom in a LONG time, and I was really worried about my characterization, the world-building, and having to write *action* scenes in a mission fic, neither of which are my forte. I was really worried people were going to read it and think I'd lost my touch.

But in the end, people liked it! I actually got compliments on the banter and overall, way more love than I was expecting, even some comments when I finally posted it to AO3. It felt like old times, and that really warmed my heart. <3

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

The story in question is "Kind of Cool" which is a mashup of sorts of two webcomics by Kieran Thompson, "This is the Worst Idea You've Ever Had" and "Cuanta Vida" which was a TF2 fancomic. I had to read over it, because I'd forgotten what it was about, honestly. XD

The TLDR is that two characters in TITWIYEH (a modern magic story) had a few familiar faces from Cuanta Vida (with names! and much happier fates), so I had two characters discussing their non-serious theory that linguistics professor Jordi Betrand was actually a French spy- the joke being that the man is so softspoken and gentle, he's clearly nothing of the sort. I did get a chuckle from myself at this

The young man shook his head again, running weary fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. "Nicole, Professor Jordi Bertrand has got to be the most unassuming and boring man on the entire planet. I doubt he's ever experienced anything more exciting than a birthday party in his entire life- and not even a surprise party! Like a regular one with invitations where everyone knows when and where to go."

A lot of the humor in this fic is reliant on people having read both comics... which explains why it has a whopping 2 kudos, but even after a decade, the easter eggs are still pinging in my brain, so I guess that means I hid some good ones. XD

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

Oh, gosh. Hm. Sometimes, I'm a big believer in "being the change you want to see in the world" when it comes to fandom and creative works. If you can't find the thing you want, make it- and that includes your own hype. If I want a story to get a little more attention, I might do some artwork for it (or commission some if I'm able) to hopefully pique people's interest. I might also do stuff like record podfics or something. But usually, the "next step" is to just move on to the next project and hope it gets a warmer reception.

I've found that trying to work too hard to cater to other people's wants just to get the reception I want doesn't always go to plan- or worse, I might get lots of comments and kudos, but it feels hollow because I feel like I'm being told, "you're really good at knowing what we will like" instead of "you are really good at writing and expressing this idea"- so over time, I've gotten a lot more comfortable making things for me. That way I'm guaranteed at least one person will like it, in the end. And even my "weird" fics are eventually found by people who appreciate them- and that really means a lot.

[gallyg]

Bus Line Blues

suicide, slurs, child abuse

Jake shoved me hard, and my face met concrete.

“Kill yourself, faggot!”

“Why are you so mean to me, Jake?” I barked out. “Why do you want me to kill myself so bad?”

Jake was reeling back to kick me while I was down, then stopped. He put his foot to the ground and his finger to his face. Hand to God, he said, “Hmmm...” out loud. “I guess it's because I'm planning on killing myself before the end of the school year.”

I raised my head to meet his gaze. For the first time, Jake was looking at me with a neutral expression. Before, I had only ever seen naked fury.

“What?” I asked.

His face scrunched. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, so like, my parents both treat me with undisguised contempt, yeah?”

“What do I have to do with that!?”

“I'm getting to that! But you're following me so far, right?”

I shrugged. I had no idea where the fuck he was going with this, but I really did want to know. “Yeah, okay.”

“So, being treated that way 10 hours a day isn't so bad. But when I'm home all day for the summer? That shit makes me want to kill myself. And recently I've been feeling like I'm at my breaking point. But see, I'm Catholic. I don't really know that I buy into everything the church says, but I'm definitely convinced that I'm going to Hell when I kill myself. Thing is, I genuinely believe that an eternity in a pit of sulfur might actually be preferable to the way my parents treat me, so I'm definitely gonna do it anyway! Now, here's the hitch. I'm shy around people I don't know. You may notice I'm a lone wolf bully. I've never had any goons to sick on you, have I?”

I shook my head.

“Anyway, we've known each other for a while. Not that we ever talked much, but we were in the same class in 1st, 2nd, and 4th grade. We worked on that presentation about Amerigo Vespucci together, remember?”

I nodded.

“Not saying we're friends or anything, but we have stuff we could talk about, a shared history. Nobody else in Hell would get the significance of Emily's show-and-tell on my sense of humor.”

I laughed, remembering how funny that show-and-tell was.

“So yeah, I figured if I could get you to kill yourself too, you'd go to Hell, and I'd have someone to talk to.”

“That's awful.” I slowly sat up, keeping my eyes on Jake. I took a deep breath and spoke earnestly. “Jake, you don't have to be alone in this world. We could be friends now, here. Maybe it wouldn't be perfect, but I could help you. We could talk to my parents and some teachers, see if we could do something about your parents.”

Jake smiled. “That's really nice of you to offer. There's a reason I used to like you.”

I furrowed my brow. “Used to?”

“Yeah. See, bullying you the last few years has required me to act like I hate you for the entire school day. I basically gave up all my other hobbies just to practice hating you. And you know what they say: if you wear a mask for long enough, then your face will be the mask face.”

“Do they say that?”

“Pretty sure. Either way, I have become the mask. I faked it, and now I've made it. The hatred is real, is what I mean. At this point, I'd actually be happier being in Hell watching you suffer for all eternity than I would be turning my life around and eventually claiming my reward in the Kingdom of Heaven.”

I started to get up. A kick to my shin knocked me back down. “Ah, what the fuck! You're a psychopath! I'm going to have my parents get a restraining order on you, or move, or something!”

“Hey, man! Don't do that! That'll just make this whole thing take longer. I can make you kill yourself from anywhere. I'll tell people that you've been bullying me this whole time, and I've actually been defending myself. And then when nobody believes me, I'll kill myself and leave a suicide note. It'll reiterate my story and provide evidence in the form of a montage of cherry-picked half-truths and a sprinkling of plausible-sounding lies. And I'll make sure to email my suicide note to the news and CC all of your friends and family in the email so that they all think you're an evil suicide-baiting piece of shit. The isolation will make you kill yourself, but that could take all semester! I can only work on this plan at school because I'm too busy getting beaten all day at home during the summer.”

I sighed. “Wanna just cut class and go jump off a bridge?”

Jake offered a hand. I took it, and he helped me up. Jake pulled me in for a half-hug. “I thought you'd never ask.”