#when sex is the answer

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Labor & Oxytocin

Kali: (bursts through the front doors of the hospital) And this is precisely why I told Blake that she needed to give birth back home, not in some overpriced hospital a continent away.

Ghira: Kali, dearest, please, control yourself.

Willow: Kali, it was the safest option. You said yourself that you had plenty of complications giving birth to Blake.

Kali: And now I'm realizing that over 36 hours of labor is worse than having a few complications. (to the nurse) Blake Belladonna. Where is she.

Willow: Thirty-six hours?!?!

Jaune: Uh, Mrs. Belladonna! What a surprise! Really, truly, a pure shock. Um, unfortunately, even though you are her mother, I'm not allowed to disclose-

Willow: (cuts him off) No! You are bringing us all to Blake's room this instant. (glyph beowulf suddenly appears next to her) Unless you want a pack of beowolves to scour the hospital and we can find her ourselves.

Jaune: (sweats) Yes, Ma'am! Right away, Ma'am! This way, Ma'am! (quickly leads the three to Blake's room)

Blake: (panting and in discomfort as Yang escorts her around the room) This is absolute hell...

Yang: (rubbing soothing circles on Blake's lower back) I know, babe. I know. (kisses Blake's head)

Doctor: Good news. You're only six centimeters away.

Blake: (groans)

-Door bursts open to a very protective mother panther-

Kali: Where's the doctor fucking up my baby girl's labor?!

Blake/Yang: Mom?!/Kali?!

Doctor: Excuse me, Ma'am, but you can't be in here-

Kali: Don't care. What have you done to help my baby girl get the baby out?

Doctor: We have tried everything from walking laps, squats, and bouncing on the labor ball.

Willow: What about oxytocin? Have you tried that?

Nurse: It's written in Ms. Belladonna's file that she's allergic to synthetic oxytocin.

Kali: .....(to Willow) Oxytocin?

Willow: Pleasure hormone.

Kali: They synthesize that? Why? Her wife is right there. (points at Yang before turning to the doctor) Are you seriously saying that you never considered natural stimulation to help my daughter???

Doctor: Erm.... Excuse me?

Nurse: I... think she's referring to pleasuring the patient....

Blake: The patient is right here and can hear you! (groans)

Kali: There's no mistake that the gods put the g-spot in the birth canal. What gets the baby in will get the baby out.

Ghira: (mortified) Good lord....

Doctor: That's highly unorthodox-

Yang: Wait, I can just play with Blake's clit until she dilates?!

Kali: With climax. Ladies always come first.

Yang: Damn right they do.

Willow: It allows the most oxytocin to get into the bloodstream.

Ghira: kill me now....

Blake: That's it! Everyone, out! That goes for you (points to doctor) you (points to nurse) and definitely you (points to Ghira). (turns to Kali and Willow) Respectfully, because I don't want you to... you know...

Kali: Already gone, dear. (kisses Blake and Yang's foreheads before leaving the room, hauling a flabbergasted Ghira with her)

Willow: Best of luck, dears. (strokes their cheeks affectionately) I'll call Weiss and tell her to get here as fast as she can. That baby is going to be here before you know it. (grabs the doctor by the coat collar and drags him out of the room)

Nurse: (follows dutifully, leaving Blake and Yang alone)

Blake: Yang...

Yang: Yes, babe?

Blake: You know the drill. And if this doesn't work, I'm going to kill you.

Yang: (gently lifts Blake up and brings her to the hospital bed) I happen to have a 100% mission success rate. I don't intend on marring that now!

Two hours later, the Xiao-Long/Belladonna family welcomed a beautiful baby into the world. Ghira was still suffering. Kali could not have been prouder. Willow and Weiss squealed with delight. Ruby rand spaztically around the room. Qrow and Raven agreed that the baby was so ugly it was adorable. It was a great day.

[irenespring]

Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.

Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.

That poster must be having quite the experience.

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[archie-sunshine]

Not really a question but I wanted to say I appreciate the soft and tender intimacy you show in your work sometimes. Sex is weird and really scary to me personally because of past shit, so when I can just see something be done lovingly… it’s nice.. it makes me remember that’s it’s not so scary. Sorry if that’s sharing too much, I just like your art 

ok so this ask inspired me to go on a bit of a rant, NOT DIRECTED AT YOU, im really genuinely glad that my work helps to make sex seem more fun and less scary. that means a lot to me.

so much of the time sex is shown to be like. this serious, meaningful thing, when really sex is just. normal! just as normal as not having sex. it's as regular as feeding yourself, or pissin or scratchin an itch. And like the whole world(catholicism) has just made it out to be this TERRIFYING AND SINFUL ACT. This SCANDALIZING AND POLARIZING THING!! but really like. its a completely neutral action, the same as washing your hands or blowing your nose!!! its just our bodies doing something that they (for the most part and up to personal preference) were made to do!!

like idk, i might be a hedonist but i feel like people were more likely made to walk the earth fuckin nasty smoking pot and cooking animals over a big fire than they were to like. feel bad about themselves for their appearances. or work at starbucks.

but i digress!!! GENTLE AND CARING SEX IS COOL MORE THAT!

[miguelhugger2099]

Hello;) I don’t remember whether you said it or not, but what was Nerd!Miguel’s first sexual experience? It’s just that in my head he literally watches films with 18+ content and again takes the behavior model from the heroes film

In general? He’s only met his hand. He knows of sex, knows people do it, people jerk off but he was the one that was like….if i’m stressed I’ll tug one out yknow? But it wasn’t something he really actively looked for—his mind set somewhere else whether it be studies or the daily mundane. So he wasn’t really affected by the brain rot of porn.

He loses his V card to you, obviously (eventually). Think of it like his real sexual awakening came from you. At first he’s disgusted with himself, stroking himself to the thought of you. But he can’t help it! Your pants fit too well, shirt cut too low, smell more enticing. He’s pathetic when he does it, masturbating in his room with just the image of seeing you that day. Whining desperately, keeping his shirt up with his teeth, glasses skewed while bucking his hips in his fist.

When you first get together: the option of sex is now available. But because of his inexperience, he’s shy and isn’t really touchy just in case you don’t want him to touch you. He hasn’t delved too much in pornhub and none of it would matter anyway because he’s only attracted to you. So he does what any loser would do and that is research! He’s looking up forums, fanfiction, books he could buy, sneak a peek at your own bookshelf—anything that he could do and model himself after so you could enjoy yourself.

After all that, my Nerdy!Miguel ends up more on the worship/sub side :) He’s a pleaser with whatever you want him to do but sometimes just a bit he’ll go numb and dom you if he’s pushed too far. His personality is more reserved but he knows his strength and big build too! It’s only when he’s pushed too far or when he’s just extra needy. Either way!!! He’s clawing at the floorboards on his way towards you for a smidge of your attention !

[hungharrington]

thinking abt steve holding my hand during sex. the fact it’s literally canon still has me prancing around and giggling like a fiend

literally 🥹 if i think about it too much i actually go insane because it speaks so much on his character- esp when he’s like presented as ambiguous to whether he’s a good or bad guy at this point in the season!

but god he’s such a baby he just wants to hold hands while he makes you feel good :’) it probably means he’s a big softie and like loves to nudge his nose against yours, nuzzling against your own while he rolls his hips into yours expertly and then loves to swallow the little gasps you make with a kiss — loves loves loves asking you open your eyes, his lips scraping against your own, “show me your eyes, sweetheart,”, just so he can see them when he’s making you feel good, he just adores seeing how you look when you moan and come apart beneath him. definitely the type that loses it when you start whimpering “i love you’s” to him, his thrusts stuttering and then increasing in speed and force, spurred on by your words— his own whimpery i love you caught up in a searing kiss cos he can’t handle it at all— and whines loudly when he realises that your words and your hand holding his, the other curled into his hair so lovingly, is gonna tip him over the edge

[justanaromantic]

man literally what even is romantic attraction . is it just you see someone and you're like I want to kiss and hold hands w them . is that all it is ???? I'm pretty sure it's not but like . genuinely what is it . because I have no idea man .

[xxplastic-cubexx]

hiiii i know you said you're not very good with headcanons but maybe... just maybe.... since everyone is having a conversation about inappropriate use of mutations... you could give us a few nsft hcs.... please.....

you cant just ask me for my nsft hcs anon you knooww im not good at these.. but i was daydreamin during class this morning so you can have LIKE. SOME semblance of something. below the cut (╯▽╰ ;; )

i dont think i need to jot down roleplay is integral to their sex life but i will anyway. we'll double this review with bdsm/bondage Also being significant (if that not just being an extension of the Roleplay bit. or rather their roleplay is a part of their bdsm--)

charles is the more vocal one between the two of them (but im greedy and despite erik Trying to keep himself under control i imagine he gets a lil more vocal the closer he is to coming anyway...)

Speaking Of Inappropriate Use Of Mutations we already talked Extensively about erik's but how does the crowd feel about telepathic threesomes. its like an h2o molecule but horny. bonus points for scenarios where charles gets to watch himself fuck erik first-class-emma-frost style (Double Bonus Points who's to say movieverse!cherik couldnt have been inspod from that moment huh)

More Inappropriate Use Of Charles' Mutation charles can control how fast/hard erik rides/fucks him

when charles orgasms he (mostly) unintentionally causes erik's to feel more intense alongside his own (bonus points charles can negate the feelings of the refractory period if they're up for another immediate round)

strip chess. its even sexier because in chess sometimes it's the best strategy to sacrifice a piece to advance (the question now is is the objective to win the game or to get naked faster ... curious ... could be both and win in the psychological-warfare department or something...)

eriks a lot more tender than probably expected. i know hes a lover at heart .... (but he will be rougher if that's what charles is looking for that night)

Such Scenarios usually being on nights charles is collared and gets to be eriks 'pet' complete with liberal pulling of the collar and name calling (or is it 'petname' calling Please Laugh)

on that note aftercare is Extensive: they're triple and quadruple checking to make sure the other one's alright, especially if their powers were involved

[waitineedaname]

i love the bingge extra because it's like

the horror of realizing you're the dark universe version of yourself. the injustice of seeing this other version of yourself be happy and loved, seeing him be treated with such gentle tenderness from a person who only ever treated you with cruelty

bad sex.

[trashogram]

Sooooo tired of the idea that a character "following their heart for once 🥺" makes them a good person.

Anakin Skywalker's whole story is literally about that.

He chose love over his responsibility to the Jedi and the people in the universe and ended up killing the very woman he chose over everything and everyone else.

Rose Quartz's story is exactly the same. She followed her heart and escaped her abusive family but was too naïve to deal with and truly understand the consequences of her actions and it led to centuries of war, thousands of deaths, and her son blaming himself for things he wasn't even alive for.

Sometimes responsibility and duty DO come before love. Sometimes you DO have to make sacrifices for the greater good even if it destroys you. Because that is what a good person actually does. A good person puts others their own fucking daughter over themselves and wants to do right by them.

Yes, and at the very least the creators for both of those characters understood that the “following your heart” route for their respective characters would lead to tragedy. That was actually the whole point for Anakin and Rose.

Vivziepop appears to really believe Stolas is in the right for doing terrible things for the sake of his own selfish desires, and yet to make it justifiable to her audience she’s destroyed the story, the characters, and completely abandoned the worldbuilding in Helluva Boss, specifically the class system and commentary, so that Stolas comes out looking sympathetic. I can’t stand it and I can’t stand the thousands of misguided yet hostile fans that accept that BS.

[meirimerens]

I die everytime you make Artemy call Daniil Danya or make Daniil call Artemy Tyoma :´´) I love how you write them sm <3

Once They Get There i think it's cute. i think it's cute. okayyy i think it is. it takes [CHECKS NOTES] 95k words to get to the nickname level you gotta work for it but it's cute so i write it. peace and love on earth. THANK YOUUU 🫶🫶🫶 more to come um. eventually

[f-imaginings]

I have a genuine question being Aroace but I'm afraid to ask and my headcanon will go to waste.

But KMKY's Ford always seemed to be at least in some way the aroace look (being demi or gray that is), did you do it out of want, in the idea of looking, or is it just part of the character and you never thought of yourself in a sexuality for him?

I can definitely see Ford being ace!

I myself am demisexual so I definitely think some of that perspective leeched into how I write Ford. Because my own experience informed how I wrote him, little things like being kind of oblivious/frustrated when strangers flirt with him (the hand witch or the girl from college who worked in the aquarium with the legwarmers lmao) because they don't know him!!! So how dare they!!! Lmao, falling for Bill's mind first since it didn't really matter that he was a shape or a muse or whatever, the rest would work itself out, feeling seen and only crushing initially because it seemed like his mind was being appreciated first and foremost, and treating their sex life like an experiment/engaging with the kinks/power plays inherent rather than just going through the motions (because kink makes more sense sometimes than just some undefined biological urge that you're supposed to have but no one can explain it to you, yet it's perfectly understandable to go 'oh they like feeling powerless as a powerful being I understand that perfectly, now how can I get creative with it'.)

I definitely think he wanted romantic attention from Bill, and wanted to be valued romantically (hence going on a date with Susan and Cathy Crenshaw) but the idea of getting romantic attention from a stranger is unappealing (hence why he was so reluctant to go on the date with Susan) and wanted the sort of holistic acceptance that comes with ideas of romance (because then his polydactylism will be accepted along with his unique mind) but the traditional trappings of romantic relationships aren't that appealing (was worried that he would have to engage in gay culture/grow a moustache and have a makeover to be in this relationship ECT). Bill was great for him BC he accepted and actively sought out all of Ford's weirdness and the dark bits you're ashamed to show, and then got freaky with them lmao. And there's no way to cement a bond quicker than to show someone your most vulnerable parts and have them accept those things unconditionally. Turning shame into dependence right there. That truly is the no one knows you like I do trap, and that shit feels inescapable.

Because of my own experience I know that you can be demisexual and still have a preference for gender or looks, hence why he built the "flattering vessel" for Bill to not only be flattering by beauty standards in general but also subconsciously to be exactly what Ford found attractive. The kicker is that personality means more than good looks, so when Bill inhabited the body in a different way than Stanford expected but he still found his personality all the more fascinating because of it, that was probably what cinched his feelings BC he got to know more about Bill's weirdness and see how it matched his own.

I am giving you a big virtual hug anon BC no head canon is ever wasted, how you engage with a story you like is important and you deserve to feel seen and heard when you engage in content you like. If I can go some way towards making the fandom of this fic a safe welcoming place it's my privilege to do so as a writer!

[deadpanwalking]

what does punk mean in gay?

This is a great opportunity to remind everyone that I'm not amenable to followers who are mentally and/or physically under 18 years of age. I'm not holding your youth against you, but as things stand, I can barely produce enough breast milk to keep up with my cat's nutritional demands—it would be irresponsible to take in another child.

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

[lorelune]

jing yuan….lore…..

vic u get it. you GET IT. big lazy cat of a man who just wants you to be content and worry free... even better if you both can be content together. god.

[necrotic-nephilim]

i simply must know: what are your thoughts on jaydick?

!!! JayDick my beloved, man do i have thoughts. disclaimer that all of these thoughts will be pre-Flashpoint in basis unless stated otherwise just because that's the canon i like best.

to me. JayDick is one of the more incestual ships of Batcest. there's this desperate, driving want from Jason, to have Dick as an older brother. he and Dick never really got to be brothers, they were definitely friendly with each other when Jason was alive, but because of Dick's distance with Bruce, he never got the chance to bond with Jason. he always made sure Jason knew he could go to Dick for help, but beyond that Dick wasn't particularly emotionally available with Jason as Robin. but Jason held Dick in a high regard and wanted to be his brother, even saw himself as Dick's brother. when he came back from the dead, i think the illusion shattered for him, but he still clung to that want for something familial with Dick Grayson.

i've vaguely rambled about Nightwing: Brothers In Blood before, because i think that arc really shows a lot of Jason's true feelings about Dick. of everyone in the Batfamily, Jason cares for Dick the most and wants an honest relationship with Dick more than anyone. Dick is the big brother he never got to have.

meanwhile on Dick's side there's... well, apathy would be the kindest way to put it. i think Jason's death pulled a lot of violent anger out of Dick, but that anger was toward Bruce at moreso the concept of Jason's death than Jason as a person. because Dick never knew Jason that well. so there is this guilt on Dick's side, guilt that he couldn't have in some way prevented Jason's death, guilt he wasn't at the funeral, guilt he didn't do more to accept Jason and possible guide Jason to be a better Robin. this is Dick's mantle after all, so when the first person to wear it after him so violently dies in it, that's a mark on his record too. even if Dick didn't give Jason Robin, he still okayed it and gave it his blessing, so he carries that on his own back.

but when Jason comes back it's... well, messy. Dick openly says he kind of wishes Jason had died when he faced Bruce and the Joker, and he hesitates a bit when he needs to save Jason's life. during an arc of the Outsiders where Jason helps out with genuinely no ulterior motives, nothing nefarious, he just knows Black Lightning is innocent and wants to prove it, Dick still doesn't trust Jason and has no reason to be trusting him. i saw a post on here say that pre-Flashpoint!Dick would've agreed with what Bruce did to Jason during Gotham War (reprogramming him to have a fear response to adrenaline) and like... ngl i agree with it. Dick does *not* care for Jason and regards Jason with a lot of apprehension. and that's the fun.

because usually, in Batcest shipping that centers Jason, it's always the other person in the ship seeking out Jason, trying to bring him home, trying to domesticate/fix him, etc. but for JayDick, i think it's the opposite. Jason would try to be good for Dick, if he asked. Jason wants to be close to Dick, he's reaching out when he knows he shouldn't and doing it in the most fucked up ways sure, but he cares about Dick. we bring up "Jason asked Tim to be his Robin" a lot, but never "Jason also asked Dick to be his Robin". it's always going to be misguided and fucked up because Jason doesn't know how to handle this love he has for Dick, that's an echo of the person he used to be. a person Dick doesn't even *see* in him anyway. that shit is fun and fucked up.

i think the one interesting thing Rebirth did was that one Nightwing Annual where Dick calls Jason 'Robin' to snap him out of killing someone. because in the moment it was to remind Jason of who he was. which is the fun of it. when Dick pictures a kind, loving Jason, he pictures Robin, not Red Hood. that will always be the version of Jason that Dick loves the most. i don't think Dick believes Jason could ever be good enough to be redeemed, but if Dick Grayson loves anything, it's a passion project of trying to fix someone. if Jason came to Dick and tried to be good (without putting on the Nightwing suit-) i do think in the end, Dick would try to help him. Dick wouldn't believe in Jason, but he'd put an honest attempt into helping Jason try to be good. and that's where the relationship for them works the best for me, imo. Jason wants Dick to be his older brother. Dick is apprehensive but looking for pieces of the "old Jason" in this person he doesn't recognize. it's weird and fucked up and they make it work so well. it's really one of my favorite Batcest ships for exploring the incestual nature of brotherly love. it's the Cain Instinct if i've ever fucking seen it.

honestly you could sum this entire ship up as "Cain Instinct but they want to fuck each other after the fist fight" and i do think you would be correct. they say i love you with bloody fists. it's so fucking good man, i love these two.