#when joy is lost
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CHAMPS TWO YEARS RUNNING!!
#OH MY GOD SHAKING THIS MONKEY OFF MY BACK#FUCKKKKK#i started this legitimately last year after they won and then took so long that a whole ton of players were traded#and i lost interest BUT IT HAUNTED ME#so when they won again i took it as a sign to drag the decrepit corpse back into the light#i cannot say this one sparked joy for me but im very glad its done#me from a year ago really did not set me from now up to succeed#but now it is done and i can delete the file and work on drawing a cityscape#im so excited#nhl#hockey art#florida panthers#my art#matthew tkachuk#aleksander barkov#brad marchand#sergei bobrovsky#sam bennett#sam reinhart#carter verhaeghe#ughghghhghgghhg
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You know, whenever I see the discussions around Jack Marston possibly getting drafted in world war one, I can't help but physically ache at the thought of it.
Jack Marston, born into a gang that honoured freedom above everything, forced to sacrifice everything he has left for war.
Jack Marston, a boy who read about knights and soldiers, now forced to become one in another fight he never asked for.
Jack Marston, raised to be away from a life of violence, but now the world has found a way to drag him back in.
No matter what happens, Jack would have to face a really tragic dilemma. Does he go to war and sacrifice the legacy of freedom he was raised with? The life his family died for? Or refuse and be labeled a criminal, putting his parents to shame and repeating the same cycle his father went through?
It just tragically mirrors the struggle he’s always had - trying to find his own identity outside the legacy of John Marston, and the violence that came with it. But he's being pulled back in, no matter what he chooses.
He was never made for the violence that shaped his parents' life.
#he's just a boy who loved books and animals and picking flowers and fishing he doesn't deserve to be a product of war again#it makes me cry thinking about it#he was a child full of joy and whimsy. then a young boy who preferred reading over hunting. then a young man who had just lost his parents#and he was all alone#and forced to make a choice that denies him his autonomy#watching jack lose his spark over the course of rdr2 and rdr1 as he grows up eats at me#and when people mistake him for his father in rdr1 I actually start sobbing#oh jack#i'm so sorry#mick squeaks#mick thinks#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption#rdr1#jack marston#john marston#abigail roberts#arthur morgan#red dead redemption community#red dead redemption 2 spoilers
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best friends forever
#i love when I go looking for them and find them together#its most times I go looking for them tbf but it still makes me happy every time#my heart dog and my heart cat ♥️ eachother#what more could I ask for#like sure. the world and my country are a goddamn mess. but not all hope is lost. goldfish and kovu exist.#kovu#ckcs#kovus face#joy is stored in the spaniel#kovu and goldfish#love is stored in the spaniel#fishface#cats and dogs
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Hi! Me again! So, just out of curiosity, would you happen to have a general floor plan or site plan of the overall waterpark and maybe the hotel? (I saw the floor plan for the hotel room and started wondering how the hotel connects to the waterpark). Also, are Sun and Moon only in charge of the waterpark portion?
@agent-darkfest you asked this question in May! I can’t believe it took me this long to actually illustrate a general layout but here it is!!!
Every room gets a waterpark view :D
“On either side of the atrium, connected to the lobby, there are corridors leading into the park’s resort rooms. From what you remember the resort circles half the park, sort of like a C-shape enclosing the front section.”
And to answer your other question, Sun and Moon are in charge of the entire resort and park! (but they did not when Waterspark Bay first opened)
#sometimes things don’t go as planned#but they work out for the better#waterpark au#I am very guilty of answering some asks late but Hey! I do eventually get to them#I remember being so excited when I first saw this ask and then went oh crap! I need the time to actually sit down and do this#for more references in the future I think it would be a cool idea to let people reblog with a dot/pin on the map and I#illustrate a sort of snapshot of what they would see standing there#world building yayyyyyy#thank you so much for the ask!#all the asks bring me so much joy it’s just finding the time to answer them how I want to#now you can’t blame y/n for getting a lil lost in the first chapter#crunch art#Waterspark bay#Waterspark bay au#dca au#Waterpark map drop
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#gotta be honest the inchident meme lost a lot of joy for me when I learned that the cameraman started filming#bc he was afraid jos was going to hit 14 year old Charles#edit: link to the interview in replies - I wasn’t remembering quite right#the videographer thought jos would hit SOMEONE but didn’t specify who#either option makes me feel so sad
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minfilia and thancred together again!! dont remind thancred that he's technically not the older brother anymore ok
#jupi art#ffxiv#minfilia warde#thancred waters#not ship#do nooooooot fucking come near me with that. okay.#i like them :'))))))) theyre familyyluyyy#theyre more affectionate/closer in my canon because they both feel awful abt the time they lost#both from (gestures) and also even before that from keeping a professional relationship for the scions#theres something wrong with both of their brains but NOT HERE! HERE THEY ARE HUGGING AND HAPPY!#thancred when he realizes having tank strength means he can pick minfilia up and spin her around#peace and lovve and joy and happiness and puppies and birdies. ok?
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their designs, their grief, their anger, kaibyakumon’s unexplored loneliness borne from wealth, kenji’s untouched survivor’s guilt, just them honest2god are too good for rhyme anima and might even be too good for hypmic LOL
#vee queued to fill the void#this is an unpopular opinion bc nobody but like 3 ppl care about them LOL#kenji being witness to it all akira and satoru’s sacrifice kaibyakumon’s descent into anger obsession and sickness#like the way he looked so relieved seeing kaibyakumon standing on his own and with purpose#kenji is so unexplored in that show it’s criminal LOL#like kaibyakumon treated scuro and chiaro as if they were akira and satoru but how did kenji feel about them????#and then kaibyakumon’s seiyuu is one of those on the point castings#he lost a friend to senseless violence and was somewhat public about his grief#after the anime ended he talked about how he related to his character’s anger#he also voices ranmaru in utapuri so when the collab happened he looked thrilled to be on stage under the hypmic name#that alone should warrant kaibyakumon coming back LOL#kaibyakumon didn’t know what to do with all his wealth and intellect until he channelled it into helping ppl get second chances#he went from throwing poolside college parties with plenty of alcohol to fostering a community#and it was probably his own second chance too until chuuoku took all of that away from him#and sent two of his prides and joys back in body bags HE DESERVED TO BE ANGRY AND MAKE THAT EVERYONES PROBLEM LMAO#what did kenji do before choosing to follow kaibyakumon????#i have questions but they don’t have the stage to develop like stage ocs do and i *clenches fist* want better for them lmao
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watching buffy the vampire slayer. i do not agree with season seven. what the fuck is this?
#i’m on episode 9#i said i was t gonna watch it#but i caved#actually what th fuck ?#what in the world is happening to spike#hard disagree#he would not have done that in season 6#xander should not have left anya#like WHY#bro#big fumble on joss whedon’s part#shows making a horrible last season so you don’t even want anymore#i heard he used his series finale idea for the end of season 5#like. i can tell#cause is this?#where is the joy?#this is like the arc the man from uncle went through in season 4 when it got so dark#and it’s like supernatural foreshadowing#what with them defeating the apocalypse in season 4#and then there are what? 11 more seasons?#give me a fucking break#poor spike#why would they do this to you#they re gelled his hair#but lost the leather?#don’t piss me off#buffy the vampire slayer#buffy summers#btvs season 7#btvs
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If you told me in 2012 that College Humor, Smosh, and a brand started by some dudes from Buzzfeed are some of the most diverse and inclusive places on the internet I would not have believed you
#don't come at me I know they're not perfect#but 2012 me couldn't imagine ANY streaming service where representation is abundant and casual#MULTIPLE queer people on a show without it being their whole thing? MULTIPLE POC in a show not based around them?#clips of ACOFAF got me into dropout and then I learned the joys of everything else they have#saw clips of Without A Recipe: The Totally Normal Season and was intrigued by them replacing scandal man with cartoon animals#Vic and Zac were on TNTL on Smosh and now I watch some of their content too#but the idea of 2012 me randomly selecting an episode and having at least one queer person who happens to be there#without it being the only reason they're there#yes I know it's dropout now#I think what gets me specifically is there's a ton of diverse and inclusive content on the internet#but usually it was created with that idea in mind#idk it's just surreal sometimes I remember reading College Humor articles in middle school and now I have a yearly subscription#I remember when Korra held Asami's hand and we all lost our minds#because that didn't happen! you didn't get hints like that unless it was queerbaiting!#by places on the internet I mean mainstream (to a certain definition) video content creators#do not cite fanfic/fandom/LJ/whatever at me I was there when it was written#dropout#smosh#2nd try#yes I said something#thought about this recently and I truly don't think my younger self would have understood
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Chat I just found out I might have to go ~2 weeks without adhd meds ;-;
Which means I have to ration out them now so I can survive my first month of college :'(
If you catch me crashing out or I'm low energy/barely interacting assume it's that 😭
#my post#im. dying why does life hate me so much#vent#kinda. in the tags mostly#im fucking. already stressed trying to prep for my fucking birthday#and im already anxious abt doing a class that has online meetings twicd a week. and my laptop. and my braces being a bitch. on top of genera#-generally feeling bad bc im barely doing chores AND self care AND general hobbies. and i kinda feel like shit bc ive forgotten most of my#old ocs/aus/etc and im feeling disconnected from my past self which. just makes the birthday shit even worse. things change too fast FUCK#and im really trying to be fucking brave. i swear. i. god im so tired of being me sometimes. its the same things that kick me again nd again#i want to see the world. i want to learn new things. i swear i do. i just...i cant. i cant its all so scary. i dont wanna#please can we go home. where i didnt have to be brave. where i could hide and cry and not feel weak for it. im so tired. how can i spread#joy and whimsy when every day feels so scary. when something hits me and fucks everything up. how can i be brave and thrive anymore? does#anyone know? i doubt it. i doubt it. but thats all ive ever wanted. please this time is supoosed to be for ME. at this rate im going to end#up hiding in my bedroom carefully nestling myself in my newly repaired laptop for my 21st birthday maybe even not that if it isnt fixed soon#plesse someone hold my hand and tell me itll be okay. it feels like im being drained of everything that makes me. me. everything but my fear#i am trying so hard to stand back up and fight for me but no ones fucking bringing me a chair and blanket!!! (irl not online. u r cool af)#they love me but they never give me a break. evn my friend is too much to handle now. i can barely keep myself afloat with my meds. how can#i posdibly not lose my mind without them? i am a barely contained implosion just wajting to burn the last of the rope. and then ill crash so#hard i may never return to college. i dont want this. please. i have warned you already and you saw what happened last time my laptop broke.#i may be strong enough to focus on the sun in the moment. but am i strong enough to keep focusing on it? i am already faltering. i have only#delayed the inevitable. is it? is it inevitable? i think it might be. if i dont break where i used to then life will dogpile me til i do.#at least i can spend most of tmrw marinating in that fact alongside therapy. at least i have that. i guess. i hate you doctor i hate that yo#-you canceled on us. on me. i hate you asl class i hate that ive lost so much without even starting the semester bc of you. i wish i never#chose that fucking class. i already was hesitant earlier snd maybe this is proof i shouldnt have done asl. msybe its a sign to give up. idk#sorry to everyone that sees this. i. am so tired and sorry if i dont engage as much as i used to. know that i miss you every day
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One Direction, not as a single unit, but as a concept. One Direction as those five boys, together or apart. In the same way John, Paul, George, and Ringo where each still a Beatle even after the band parted ways. One Direction, not only as a memory, but a present phenomena which lives on in each of those boys, in every song they write, in every melody they sing. One Direction never ended. It survives alongside the joy and success of its founders, the men who made it a reality, who continue to honor its legacy.
Appreciate always what we have left of our precious band, because it will never quite be over so long as any of those boys live.
#we never really lost one direction#they only time we truly lost a piece of it was when we lost Liam#and that's what we should truly be grieving#because at the end of the day the band has been on “haitus” for nine years now#but did it ever really fade away? their music still streams and their impact still lingers#and each of them are still producing music for us to enjoy#and we still have them to love and cherish#i think it's important to appreciate that#and to appreciate their joy also#their creative freedom#their careers together and apart#we've watched them grow before our eyes the past fifteen years and I think that's something to celebrate#as painful as it feels sometimes#because as we know the night changes but it will never change me and you#and that means that the love and the comfort we feel for those boys is still just as strong and real as it ever was#one direction#queue light up my world like nobody else#harry styles#zayn malik#liam payne#niall horan#louis tomlinson
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Oh okay I guess I'm thinking of Jawbreaker now- *slaps roof of stygimoloch* this dinobot can fit so much autism
#jawbreaker#jawbreaker malto#transformers#tfes#fanart#don't mind the fact that the colouring in is like a kid did it (or the lineart) this was just trying to learn the shapes of jb mostly#the power of 3d models- you can add so much detail that may or may not be necessary#good thing prime designs have helped me pick and choose what details to keep#well- after i get a rough shape in of course#hey do you think that when the maltos lost their emotional link their treatment of jb got worse because they stopped feeling his distress?#like they could only feel the joy at laughing at him without feeling bad about the 'cinnamon roll' they bully#and jb doesn't even get to tap into the joy anymore to try his best to laugh off his treatment :P#anyway jawbreaker should be allowed to smash something#something something he's not here but j'bam would be a great outlet i think#anyway- my son is here
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Guys hear me out


I yield my time
#Idk why but feel like Aika was probably a lot like sparkle cadet when she was younger and before she lost the joy in her job#idwbamg#aika idwtbamg#sparkle cadet#craig of the creek
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everything Dan said about labels in BIG was so extremely real and personal to me and people really gloss over a lot of it sometimes I need to talk about it more about it when I'm not exhausted
#he spent years trying to fit into one box or another and then he finally said ah fuck this lmfao#ppl really ignore the “basically” part of basically im gay and it's like you'll get crucified if you point out the nuance#which he himself has talked about so many times#idk why celebrating someone's gayness for what it is in its own esoteric way in their own words is some kind of erasure#i guess because of the issue of ppl calling him bi because they're stupid and don't know how labels work lmao#but that aside i love that he rly is just dan and he's comfortable with that#because it's so hard not fitting into a certain ideal#the part where he said he recognises labels are really important for a lot of people and that's very valid#but he just doesn't give a fuck lmfao like....... i felt that#i felt like him saying “being a man means nothing to me” and then talking about “you could call me she or put me in a dress i wouldn't gaf”#and then calling himself a formless blob or whatever#he literally is just dan whatever that means whatever labels most closely approximate that and there rly is something so powerful#in just not giving a fuck especially on the internet where everyone is so hyper obsessed with labeling everything#and like thinking it's weird for someone to just not really care that much about labels#i feel like so many people misunderstand what he was trying to say in that part idk#like based on the amount of dangender haters#he really just does not give a fuck i fear being a man means nothing to him even if he is one like he just doesn't care#and that's so powerful <3 to me#who up not fitting into a box and feeling lost and untethered because every label you could possibly use makes you feel uncomfortable#on some level#because even trying to be unlabeled is a label in and of itself#i need Dan's therapist's number i think they could fix me#he is just not a labels guy and i love him for that i think it's very powerful and valid when people find joy and solace in labels#but it's also powerful to me when people just don't care for labels at all hadfghgfjkllsfjl#and i think that gets overlooked a lot on the anti nuance website#i love seeing posts celebrating him for being gay gay homosexual gay but i also love seeing posts celebrating him for being a formless blob#he can contain multitudes#and we can celebrate all of that per his own words#without necessarily erasing part of him#i said i wasn't gonna talk about this and then reached the tag limit lmfao i have a PROBLEMMMMM
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Day 4738281984747477281020494922994728 of missing rosegarden
#i’m losing my mind#or I’ve already lost it#just like how Oscar has effectively lost ruby along with his sense of self#can you imagine oscar’s reaction…#when he sees her after however long they’ve been missing?#I bet everyone will be crying#and by everyone I mean EVERYONE including and especially me#if we don’t get that rg hug I’m going to riot#i just need them to see each other#and hug#and talk about their parallel and opposite experiences of having the weight of the world on their shoulders#and just be#like bro just let them have this one moment of uninterrupted joy so they can just hug and be happy and feel relief#i’m begging you crwby#don’t ask me if I’m okay because the answer is no and I haven’t been for a very long time#rwby rg#rosegarden#Rosegarden brain rot#rg brain rot#rwby rosegarden#ruby rose#oscar pine#greenlight volume 10#greenlight rwby volume 10#greenlightvolume10#rwby#rwby rosepine#crwby
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The other night at work my manager found a deli item in the freezer section and was venting about how people putting items in random places when they change their minds about buying them destroys products and wastes money, which is a valid thing to say, except she said "look at this sausage, its frozen rock solid" while holding the package up, and me & my coworker locked eyes, knowing that we were both thinking the exact same thing and having a mutual aneurysm trying not to say it and burst out laughing in front of the customer I was checking out
#as soon as the customer left i said 'me when-' and thats all i could get out before we both lost our minds#we are not immune to penis jokes#joy & whimsy
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