#when it would have been so easy to just give truthful context. No reason to lie and then get mad.

[weakfleshwillingsoul]

if you knew all this why would you post this photo with such a deceiving caption designed to misinform? Where did you pull the word “protecting” from and what did you mean by it? and if youre so well versed then certainly you’ll know a significant portion of those “private grants and loans” came from a construction firm owned by the family of the former Lebanese prime minister Rafik Hariri. It was necessary for the restorers to seek federal permission to begin any restoration work, which was given to them not on the grounds of goodwill but in an attempt to salvage the past reputation of Lebanon as a minority-tolerant country. Both of those facts together negate your claim that the government had no part in the rebuilding of the synagogue. I don’t believe Jews were driven out of their homes by Israeli activity and I certainly don’t believe that the neglect and ruin of every last synagogue in Lebanon is the fault of Israel either - I’m inclined to think it’s due to the dwindling rights and safety of Lebanese Jews since WW2, during which span of time Jewish property was confiscated, ability to work was restricted, and expulsion of Jews from government positions took place. In the same decade that your news article insists that Jews experienced no harassment, several leaders of the miniature Jewish community were executed by Hezbollah. And yes, I would expect it to have no roof, seeing as a period of neglect of over three decades took place before anyone thought to restore it. But I suppose you’d rather I believe that Zionists would bomb an ancient synagogue with the deliberate intention to destroy it … sure. Nice try

As an aside note, I see now that you stole the image and title almost verbatim from a 6yr old reddit post … go figure. and I guess did not deem it important enough to do all that research before you uploaded it. Also, one source from the New York Times does not qualify as effective or credible research. Any academic could tell you that

Palestinian militants protecting the Maghen Abraham Synagogue in Beirut from attacks during the Lebanese Civil War. The synagogue stood from 1925 until the IDF bombed and destroyed it in 1982

[lighteyed]

can it be easy this once? / steve harrington

summary: steve accidentally gives a stupid answer to your honest question. (best friends with benefits pining idiots to lovers, fem!reader)

unedited we die like men & title from the alcott by the national ft taylor swift hehehe enjoy

It started as a means of comfort after Starcourt, when he was bloody and bruised up but you took him home and got closer, closer, closer, until it turned into a mess of blurred lines and panting breaths, lips swollen for reasons other than being hurt, for better reasons, reasons that brought forth safety and relief for the two of you. You both tend to hunger for such things. It’d been good, easy, for a bit there. Lately it’d felt like the intimacy was threatening to choke you. Like you’d never met a form of  closeness you didn’t cling to. And God, did it feel like you were clinging. Craving an unwarranted change. Was it so unwarranted? You weren’t sure, you could never tell.

    The air in his room is hot and sticky with summer, the ceiling fan providing the barest relief, your bare skin providing the slightest bit more. You stare all around his room, taking in all the stark traces of him, though in truth it doesn’t betray much, just as he attempts to. It’s a plain room, plaid walls, matching curtains, his desk messy and cluttered, all the dresser’s drawers slightly ajar like he spent a touch too long shuffling through all his clothes to determine which outfit would be best, which, knowing him in the way you do, he probably did. You knew he wasn’t as secure as he liked everyone to believe. Steve Harrington tried his best, but sometimes you saw right through him.

     Other times he was harder to read. It was probably purposeful, layers of protection built around himself. Don’t love anyone, don’t let anyone love you, and you won’t get hurt. People can only hurt you if you let them. Steve wasn’t letting anyone anymore. Definitely not his parents, definitely not Nancy Wheeler, definitely not random girls who would inevitably end up disappointed with him. He swore it all off. He was a hopeless romantic who never wanted to be in love again. You understood it for the most part. Or you attempted to. It was hard when you were halfway (maybe more than halfway) in love with the guy, in his bed most nights, in his company most days, acting like a couple without being an established couple because he was too hesitant and you were too gentle to be pushy.

    He nudges you lightly, naked chest peeking up from his covers, naked everything else kept firmly underneath. “You okay? You’re quiet.” He sits up so he’s level with you, and you avoid eye contact by leaning down toward the floor to grasp for the shirt he let you borrow, a faded Spider-Man one he insisted was from middle school. You didn’t entirely believe him, but maybe it was just funny, and kind of sweet, to picture Steve sleeping in a Spider-Man shirt and keeping it a secret just for himself. You pull the shirt on over your head, and before you can do it for yourself, he reaches for your hair and takes it out from where it’s caught under the shirt. The familiarity of it makes you flinch. You can have sex with him all you want but God forbid he’s the slightest bit loving outside of that. It confuses you, the softness in the touches that aren’t in bed with him. If he holds your hand in any context other than bringing you as into him as possible while he slips himself in and out, you lose all sense of normalcy between the two of you. You can’t be normal when he’s holding your hand and stroking your cheeks and being kind, soft, adoring Steve, without being your Steve.

     “I’m fine, I’m just…” You reach for your shorts at the end of the bed. Steve watches you get dressed with his eyebrows scrunched together, confused. You’re not usually in a rush to leave after you have sex. Not that he wants you to. He likes that you stay until day sinks into night and he drives you home and waits to repeat it all again. Waits to see you, generally. And it’s not sex every single time. You drag him to see whatever’s playing at the Hawk and he makes you sit with him at Family Video on slow days when it’s just him on the clock and a single tumbleweed blows through the store instead of any customers. He drives you just about anywhere you ask and he lets you put on any cassettes you want in his car even if he hates what’s playing. It’s nice, the friendship part of all of it. If you had to give everything else up and just keep the friendship you’d be willing. He’d be willing. You consider it. “Nothing, just tired, probably gonna head home,” you smile at him over your shoulder before pulling on your socks and it’s half-hearted and he knows it.

    “What? You can sleep here, you know that,” he waves a hand around the room, trying to catch your gaze, but you avoid his eyes again. Descending light slants in through the curtains and envelopes him in gold. He glows, he’s so pretty. His hair is messy from where you heatedly ran your hands through it, but it still looks nearly perfect. The fact that he always looks so good infuriates you.

    “No yeah, I know, I wanna like shower and stuff too, and I left my new book at home and I wanted to do some reading,” you bluff calmly, standing up from tangled bedsheets and roaming the room in search of your sneakers.

   “That Stephen King scary clown book? I’ll take you home and you can come back and read it here, so you don’t get scared,” and he knows you won’t get scared and that you love horror far more than he ever could but he just really, really doesn’t want to be alone. Why would you go when everything’s right here? His parents aren’t home and something about you leaving makes him antsy and desperate. When you still refuse to look at him he feels himself, his confidence, growing smaller and smaller. “Did I- did I do something?” He doesn’t mean for it to sound as pathetic as it does.

   You whip around to face him, finally, finally, and touch a hand to his face. Relief floods through him at the heat of your fingers. “No, of course not, it’s all me, okay? I’m all sweaty and awful.”

    “You look beautiful, I swear,” he squeezes your hand and you feel like you’re drowning. It’s hard to breathe, your chest tight. “Are you sure you’re okay? You can talk to me, it’s me.” He scoots closer, if that’s possible. “You’re one of my best friends, we tell each other everything.” You look up toward the ceiling, inwardly groaning. Best friend.

   “You do this with all your best friends?”  

    “Well, no, Robin wouldn’t touch me even if she didn’t like girls-“ He feels himself starting to grin, teasing smile lilting at his lips.

     “Steve!” You’re laughing a little and so is he as you push his arm back. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

    “What’d you mean, then?” He’s still smiling, that entrancing, deliberately pouty, lazy smile. Vaguely smirky. You don’t know if it’s deliberate, a ploy to distract you, con you into staying, make you less prone to saying what you want to say, but you press anyway, even though he’s making you want to lean forward and endlessly kiss the smirk off his mouth.

   “I just think, I don’t know… you’re not seeing anyone else, right?”

   “’Course not, why, you got other plans after this?” He grins again. You roll your eyes. He makes it so hard sometimes.

    “Steve,” you whine, “I’m so serious right now.���

    “Okay, okay. No, you’re the only one for me.” He means it. It’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard. “Are you seeing anyone else?” He asks you like it’s the easiest question in the world for him to ask but honestly he’s shitting his pants a little. He’s not sure what’d he say if you said yes, I am, and I think we should end this, which is where he’s assuming the conversation is going. You’ve got we shouldn’t do this anymore written all over you in his eyes and he’s steeling himself for the heartbreak.

     “Does it look like I am?”

     “Does it look like I am?” He repeats back, and he reaches for your hand in that too intimate way of his, takes it all careful and slow. “What’s this about?”

     “I just, I just think, that, you know, I’m not seeing anyone, and you’re not seeing anyone, but we’re sorta… seeing each other, yeah?” You gesture between the two of you. He nods. He’s staring at you very intensely, waiting for you to get your words out. He’s still waiting for you to say you think this whole thing has been a very bad mistake, a miscalculated judgement on your part, you should go back to the way things were, so he’s not expecting what comes out of you next. “Shouldn’t we be, like, official, then?”

     And instead of throwing up all the ways he so badly would love for that to happen, he chokes out, because he’s stupid and speechless, “Official?” And the way he says it, like it’s a curse when it’s only his disbelief that you’d want that with him after all this time, makes you immediately go into panic mode.

    He quite literally sees the way you lose any sense of confidence in your question and he immediately tries to take it back as you stand from his side and start trying to force your words back in your mouth, too. “Fuck, forget I said anything,” you mumble, spying your shoes shoved under his desk where you’d comfortably kicked them off. You hasten to put them on as Steve scrambles up from the bed and starts dressing, matching your frantic speed.

    “Hey, wait, that’s not what I- I didn’t mean it like that-“

     “It’s fine, Steve, I get it, I totally do, this isn’t that for you, it’s fine-“

      “It is, it is-“ but you’re not hearing him, your mind is already elsewhere. It’s in your own bed in the quiet, alone with your thoughts and not with him, mercifully not with him. You need this one mercy, “I’ll drive you home, babe, c’mon, I’ll explain everything, please-“

    “I got it, it’s fine, I’m fine, you don’t have to explain, okay? I got it,” and you don’t just walk out of his house and down the block to yours, you absolutely flee. You take Steve’s heart with you.

      He’s pacing the floor behind the register at Family Video three days and three shifts later, practically clawing at the walls of the place, and Robin is pulling her hair out at the sight of him in distress this way.

     “What did you do?” She finally breaks, flipping her magazine shut.

      “What? How do you know it was me?” He stops pacing. He hadn’t even noticed he was doing it.

       “You’ve had three shifts and she hasn’t visited one single time. She always visits. And I know I didn’t do anything wrong, because I never do anything wrong, so, what’d you do?” Robin places her hand under his chin and stares at him expectantly.

      He huffs, his hands on hips. “Maybe she did something, Robin, did you ever think of that?”

     “Definitely not,” Robin retorts, waiting for Steve to be serious.

      He deflates. “Okay, it was me.”

      “I know that, now continue.”

      “We were, you know,” he tilts his head down and raises his eyebrows and widens his eyes.

     “Having sex, sure,” Robin bobs her head. A customer in the nearest aisle frowns and shuffles toward a different section further away from the two of them.

     Steve shushes her. “I wasn’t trying to say it so loud.”

    “Having sex,” Robin repeats, louder this time, not bothering to fight back a laugh at Steve’s exasperated expression, “continue.”

      “Well, after that, she started asking if, if I was seeing anyone, which of course I’m not, because, you know, I’m into her, obviously, so I told her I wasn’t, and she said she wasn’t, so she said maybe we should be official.” Steve hesitates to say the rest of what happened. He still can’t believe all he could do when you said the words was repeat them back to you with that stupid look on his face instead of giving you the biggest, loudest declaration of love in a big, messy, pathetic, devoted way, the way he pictures himself when it comes to you, messy and pathetic and devoted, and he replays that moment back to himself all day long, thinking of everything else he could’ve said to make you understand.

    “That’s what you want, isn’t it? She’s all you talk about all day long, you want to be with her, don’t you?”

    “Of course I do!” He snaps, dragging a hand across his face. “But when she said it I just couldn’t get the words out and she got, she got so sad and she left without me being able to explain anything and she hasn’t answered the phone which, yes, I’ve been calling, and I don’t know how to do this.” He’d never been good at school but he knew he’d get a Grade A in Pitiful.

    “Do what? Tell a girl you love her? You’ve been in relationships before, Steve.”

    “I know, but…” he sighs. “I’m different now, like, it’s not as easy anymore, for me, and I- I don’t want her to get hurt, and I don’t want to get hurt, it’s like, everything used to be my fault, and I wasn’t as good as I could have been, and I don’t want to break anything, I don’t want it to get fucked up, because it’ll be my fault, and I can’t do that again. Not to her.” He swallows, the words harder to come by than he would care to admit. “I’m a little… I’m a little in love with her, I think.” This is said quietly. It frightens him to say it out loud. He’s gone over it in his head, those words, so few of them, but they say so much, and it’s scary. He hasn’t said them to someone in years. The last time he did he got so brutally hurt he thought he’d never recover. But he had. So why was it still so scary?

    “A little bit?” Robin teases, but it’s all love for him, truly.

    “Alright, a lot in love,” he concedes. He wants to get used to saying it. He wants to say it to you. For real. Loudly. “I still don’t know how to do this, though. Not anymore.”

   “Come on!” Robin gets up from her stool and places her hands on his shoulders. “You’re supposed to be Steve Harrington. You were using those…” she pauses for a beat and then, “charms,” the word is said with the smallest hint of sarcasm but she persists nonetheless, “on tons of girls in high school and at Scoops! Now whip them out again for our very nice friend that you sometimes go to town with!”

   “When did any of those charms,” he says it with a matching sarcastic tone, “work aside from when I was sixteen and an idiot?”

   “You might not be sixteen anymore but you’re still an idiot, if that helps.”

    “It doesn’t but thank you for the encouragement.”

    “I’m just saying!” She exclaims, throwing her hands up and returning back to her seat. “Putting yourself out there is always gonna be scary, but you can’t let that stop you. You’d actually be an idiot if you let that stop you. Are you just never gonna see her again? No, because you’d go insane. It’s not like what you did was all that bad anyway.”

    “You really think so?” He perks up a bit, needing that confirmation that he isn’t a totally awful and irredeemable person. It’s easy for him to fall headfirst into that spiral of thinking. It was a trap set with the most accessible, perfect bait and he somehow always found himself walking straight into it without stopping to think if he was being fair to himself.

    “You’ve both been in bad spots, you reacted the way you did and she reacted the way she did out of what was most likely panic and embarrassment. She’s definitely not even mad at you. Probably just, again, embarrassed. If you explain I think it’ll all be okay, Steve, I swear.” Robin can’t take much more of this conversation circling around, as much as she loves Steve and wants to be there for him, she would love him even more if he acted on his feelings and allowed himself some happiness for once.  “So do you think you can you, like, maybe go tell her so she can keep visiting us at work? I need more company than just you and Keith and these customers with no taste,” she complains, glaring at the closed door that hides Keith, in all his absolute glory. The customer from before hears her comment and storms out. Robin rolls her eyes.

    “Right, yeah, tell her I love her, tell my best friend I love her,” he frowns, nerves creeping up the back of his neck. “Maybe you could just call her first and ask-“

     “Steve! I am not meddling in your love life like that when you already know everything there is to know!” She throws her magazine at him. “She said she wants to be with you, go be with her!”

    “Alright, alright!” He waves his hands dismissively. He begins to pace again, this time his eyes held to the clock. Robin groans. There’s still three hours left of their shift.

     You’re in your room wallowing, or doing what’d you call attempting not to wallow but failing at it miserably. You haven’t touched a single page of your book, mostly content to just listen to sad records and more or less stare at the wall. It was stupid, you knew, to behave in such a way over some guy. But it didn’t feel like some guy. It was Steve, after all. It all felt deeper than just some guy. You two had been through a lot together, more than most people have been, and if you’d just ruined your friendship with someone you always felt safe, felt at home with, over feelings you couldn’t control and probably would be better off not having, you were going to need some serious therapy.

     It probably was silly of the two of you to start this thing up anyway, you reason, fighting back your urge to do any further crying into a pillow. You try to focus on painting your nails a nice shade of dark blue but it reminds you of Steve’s old Scoops uniform and of that night (and all that nights that followed) so you stop in the middle of your second thumb and grab nail polish remover and start scrubbing away at your finished right hand.

“Fuckin’ ridiculous,” you mutter, the cotton ball in your hand soaked through with blue and your nails discolored and muddy. “I am ridiculous,” you say to yourself, shaking off your wet hand. Your room is filled with the smell of acetone and disappointment. You think about lighting a candle when your doorbell rings. You debate answering it before it rings again. And then again. And again, more frenzied this time.

    You open the door to a distressed Steve. His cheeks are red and he’s breathing like he can’t anymore. He’s not the multi-star athlete he was in high school, he realizes in this moment. “Did you- did you just run here from work?” You ask him, but he’s already too close to you, not answering your question, gazing at you because simply looking isn’t enough and has never been enough. He is gazing. He is flush with adoration. It’s hard not to bloom under that radiance. He makes you want to forget everything and go back to plush lips on hot skin and the quiet contentment that came alongside being with him in those first few months. You back up a little into your doorway but he steps up to you, following your steps. “Where’s your car-“

    “Forget that for a sec,” he says, and you stop talking out of surprise. “Just, just tell me if we do this it’ll be okay, and we won’t be terrible for each other, and we’ll be good,” because he needs to hear it, even if it’s ridiculous and he’s jinxing it before it’s begun he needs to know you’re right there with him. “Like, just tell me it can be easy this once. If you broke my heart I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it. ‘Cause I love you. I do. And I want this.” And you get it. He’s letting you get it. He’s letting you all the way in. You realize, flustered and basking in it, that he’s the first one to say those words. That you hadn’t even said them when you posed your first question. But he’s saying them out loud and it’s brilliant and beautiful. He is beautiful.

    It makes you want to weep, the love that swells here, out in the open. “Fuck, Steve, what type of girl do you think I am, breaking the heart of the guy I’ve been in love with since he started sneaking into my bedroom?” He smiles. He glows. It’s so beautifully Steve. Maybe it can be easy.

    When he kisses you, he proves it: the ease, the tranquility. He is fervent and burning. Everything is urgent with Steve. Especially kissing. He captures every bit of you immediately. His touch is light when he urges you out of your doorway and into your living room so he can shut your front door and quit giving the neighbors what he’s sure is the show of a lifetime. It is for him, at least.

[mareastrorum]

I love villains, and I especially enjoy Brennan Lee Mulligan’s take on them. His version of Asmodeus in EXU Calamity and Downfall really highlights the reasons why.

A villain is the embodiment of the wrong conclusion. They aren’t always an antagonist; they aren’t necessarily meant to obstruct the protagonist of a story. Hell, they might even be helpful. Villains don’t even have to be evil, per se, they just have to be on the wrong path in the context of the story.

Asmodeus is a brilliant villain and as evil as it gets. He’s the Father of Lies, and he indulges in it deliciously. The lies are always half truths so that the protagonist fills in the blanks with assumptions and gets it wrong. He matches their energy to give them what they want to hear. He plays along with naivety and hope. He doesn’t take anything from people other than lives; they give the rest willingly because they want to believe him. Asmodeus finally reveals his deception when he has someone cornered because he wants them to know they did it to themselves. Asmodeus wants everyone he hurt to come to the realization that “I knew better and let this happen anyway.” He did it to Vespin Chloras, Zerxus Ilerez, and Sarenrae.

From EXU Calamity episode 4, after Zerxus realizes he’s been had:

Asmodeus is the embodiment of the desire to punish, and he’s the villain because he’s wrong. That mentality is rooted in hatred. He is convinced that everyone deserves eternal torment, and he wants everyone to agree with that conclusion.

The purpose of Asmodeus is that we shouldn’t inflict punishment based on some idea that the person deserved it. Yes, revenge and victory feel good. Yes, there are often valid reasons to be angry or defensive. Yes, we can come up with a reason to justify punishment. But hurting people because they deserve it is exactly what Asmodeus does. There is always a way to rationalize that someone deserves punishment—so the right answer is that this feeling cannot be a sufficient reason to do harm. That isn’t good enough.

It’s so easy to say “they deserve it” when we know the end result is that Aeor will be destroyed and the surviving legacy is ruins full of monsters. It feels good when we think people deserve to suffer and then we get to see it happen. It feels righteous.

Vespin Chloras deserved to be remembered as a traitor because he was arrogant enough to think he could replace Asmodeus—in an age where another mage already replaced the god of death and yet another mage created a machine that killed two primordials. Zerxus Ilerez deserved to be a thrall of Asmodeus because he chose to take up the mace and contributed to the problems that got him in that dilemma—because he so fervently believed that under all that hatred was a person who needed a chance to change his mind. Sarenrae deserved to lose her followers because she decided to trust the Father of Lies—because she loved her brother and offered him mercy.

It’s so easy to conclude that someone deserves pain. Asmodeus is here to remind us specifically that it’s not the right way to handle anything.

Asmodeus is also a rather effective villain because he is supposed to be irredeemable. Archetypal villains are wonderful tools for setting audience expectations. Whether Brennan plays that straight or decides to subvert it, there isn’t as much work needed to persuade us that Asmodeus is that evil or cruel. We already believe that he’s capable of doing the worst things imaginable. Toying with those expectations is a great storytelling exercise.

Asmodeus didn’t shock us in EXU Calamity because we didn’t expect him to be evil. He was shocking because he is such a skillful liar that we wanted to believe him. It would be such a satisfying story that a well-meaning paladin was the first person to show kindness to the Father of Lies and managed to atone him. Brennan’s portrayal made us want that subversion so badly even though we knew better. Asmodeus lured us into the same trap as the characters, and then we saw the outcome: punishment—because Asmodeus will use any reason to justify it and every opportunity to inflict it.

In Downfall, Brennan could have easily rationalized that the protagonists wouldn’t agree to the truce if Asmodeus was on the infiltration team. The audience would have absolutely found that plausible. He didn’t have to be here. The decision to include Asmodeus on the side of the protagonists gives us a heads up that the story will grapple with questions about punishment.

What do I need to see before I am justified in destroying a city with no survivors? Do I have to concern myself with bystanders? Do the fearful deserve to die for choosing to oppose me? Don’t they deserve it for creating such objectionable technology and magic? Don’t I deserve the chance to live without fear of those lesser than myself? Don’t they deserve to die for corrupting those I loved? Don’t they deserve it for being loved more than me?

Why isn’t hatred a good enough reason to hurt someone?

Again, villains are tools to highlight the wrong conclusions. Asmodeus is involved to highlight that the desire for punishment isn’t a sufficient reason to destroy Aeor. The other characters, villains or not, are here to show us what other justifications there might be. Their interactions are going to brush across these themes over and over again.

I fucking love villains, and no one plays a villain quite like Brennan does.

[minarisplaything]

Blackpink in Your Area (p1) ft. Jennie Kim

Pairing: Jennie Kim x Male!Reader Rating: Explicit / Mature Wordcount: 1.6k Summary: After her latest performance you find yourself sneaking backstage with your girlfriend.

AN: some context, this was made...god around the time of their first world tour? so writing wise it might not follow the same rhythm of my current stuff. but it's a personal fave i've had privately that i figure fuck it i might as well post it now. if you want to read a TWICE converted version of this chapter with Nayeon you can find it on my AFF profile but this is the OG never published version. Enjoy!

"Where are we going?"

"Ssh. Just come on!"

The accented voice leaves little room for argument as the owner's hand pulls you down another corridor. It seems with every turn you get further and further lost — which is likely the point. However, Jennie seems to know exactly where she is going, a small comfort at least. She pulls you down another tight passage then stops, pressing you against the cold wall. Instinctively you hold your breath before realizing you have no reason to — or at least you hope you don't.

"Jennie, you're acting like we're running from the cops," you speak, your voice a hushed whisper despite your previous reasoning.

"They might as well be the police," she responds, glancing back the way you came.

After another moment, she must be pleased that there is no one following you and turns to face you, a mischievous grin on her features. Without a word, she cups your face with her hands, bringing your lips down to meet hers in a slow, greedy kiss. Whatever concerns or confusion you had previously begin to fade away as your hands find their way around her. It has been so long since you had a moment together that you had forgotten how easy it was to melt into her embrace.

She pulls back, her nose brushing against yours. "If anyone saw us," even with your eyes closed, you can hear the relief and satisfaction in her voice. The kiss had the same effect on you. "This would be over and my career would be on the line," she places a kiss to your jaw as she speaks.

It is a bittersweet truth. What you have is masked in darkness and secrecy; not even the other members of her group know about you. If it were ever revealed to the public, not only would the fans and paparazzi eat you alive, dating is strictly against her company's rules. You always said that you would end things with her before you ever let that happen to her.

You feel her palm running over your cheek, your distressed thoughts likely showing on your face as your brow furrows. "Don't think about that now," she presses another kiss to your lips, then another and another; giving you plenty of time to notice just how soft and irresistible her lips are. By the fourth kiss, you are eagerly kissing her back, your hands sliding from her waist up her back, pulling her closer than you already were.

This time around your embrace is needier, hungrier; as if every second you were living on borrowed time. You feel her hands move from your cheek up into your hair, fingers running through and gripping at the short strands. Her teeth dig into your bottom lip, tugging on it while she peers up at you with those killer eyes of hers. The sight alone is enough to make your heart skip a beat.

"I need you," she says when she lets go, "Right here. Now."

As she speaks, one hand slides down from your hair, running over your chest and rubbing over your slacks. Her palm encourages the bulge that is growing there and you cannot deny that your arousal doesn't just come from her but the fact that at any moment you could be discovered. It is exhilarating in its own way. Adrenaline and lust are a dangerous concoction on any night but here with Jennie, it seems especially so.

You agree without a word, only giving a small nod of your head before you are spinning her around so her ass is jutting out to you while her hands splay against the opposite wall. She is still dressed in her stage outfit from the earlier performance, which doesn't help to subdue your eager hands in the least. She is stunning in every way, yet when she is on stage she still somehow seems to magnify that. Seeing the outfit just brings back memories of watching her earlier that night.

"Need some help there?" A teasing voice breaks you from your momentary recollection. Jennie is glancing over her shoulder at you, brunette hair partially masking her features. She has a vixen side to her and truth be told, you are used to her taking control and being in charge, but you also know that you cannot let this opportunity she is giving you go to waste.

In return, you offer her a smirk of your own, "Merely admiring the view." Though given your time and place, this is hardly the moment for appreciation.

You push her plaid skirt up, your hand dipping between her thighs. "You've soaked right through your training shorts, baby," you try to keep the arousal out of your voice, but the husky facade cracks just a bit. Jennie moans in response; the notion turns you on just as much as it does her clearly. "Just how long were you thinking about this?"

At first, it is a rhetorical question, but as your wrist snaps back and forth, fingers getting her off over her clothing, you find yourself eagerly waiting for an answer. Jennie does not give any; her breath comes out in quick hiccups. She leans further into the wall, her hips pressing out closer to you in obvious need. "Were you thinking about it during your performance?"

"Y-Yes..." she manages, her own hand reaching back to grip your wrist, refusing to let you stop. "When I saw you in the crowd — oh god."

You can tell she is going further and further down the rabbit hole. Her New Zealand accent becomes more pronounced the more aroused she gets. An astute observation you have made over your time together. It is not the only sign either; she is biting down on her plump bottom lip and her thighs are clenching deliciously around your hand.

Satisfied with her answer, you lean over her, your breath hot against the shell of her ear. "Baby, we don't have much time."

The idol takes a moment before she nods in response, her grip loosening on your hand. Your fingers deftly move from between her thighs to her waistband, pulling down her spanks to expose her to the night air. You make quick work of your pants buckle, or at least you try to. Your own eagerness causes your hands to fumble with it for a second before finally getting it undone and unzipped.

"Oh fuck..." Jennie moans loudly as you slide your length into her, and it is the most heavenly sound in existence. In any other time, you might've clasped one hand on her mouth to muffle the moans lest you be discovered, but in this moment, caution is thrown to the wind.

You can feel your cock swelling even further once you are inside her; the walls of her pussy clamping down on you. It takes you one thrust, then another before you are in to the hilt, a deep groan rumbling from your chest past your lips as you take a moment to revel in the sensation. That moment is all you allow yourself, however. Comparing it to the earlier kiss that had been the slow and eager first embrace; what comes next is pure hunger and lust.

Your hands grip her waist tighter as you pull out of her, hips snapping forward to meet hers. Another delicious moan reaches your ears as she lets her head fall back. Each thrust is harder and faster than the last, desperate to be with her and to have her coming undone in pleasure. Of course, to do that, you have to hold yourself together as well, and that is no easy task. "God, you feel so good."

The sound of skin slapping together begins to fill the space you have tucked into, mixing with the heavy breaths and moans that fill the air. You lean over her, one hand moving to turn her face towards you as your lips meet in a sloppy embrace. "I love seeing you like this. I want to make you feel this good all the time."

Jennie only moans in response, her mouth hanging open as she takes every inch of you. Your free hand moves from her waist to her chest; fondling her breast through her top. You have enough sense not to be so aggressive that you pop a button, but it is a tall task. The last thing you need is questions from the costume department.

"Fuck, right there," her hand reaches back, grabbing at your ass to force your cock back to hitting the same spot. Jennie is so used to being in control that you are almost tempted to deny her request. And maybe in a different time and place, you would have teased her for a bit before giving in. Now, however, you do not even have control over yourself, let alone strength to tease her. All you can do is what she asks of you. Hips move frantically to fulfill her desire, driving her closer and closer to the edge.

Her nails dig into your skin, and you can feel your own release coming as well. "I — I'm close!" you grunt in warning.

"Hold on, baby. Hold on, I'm almost there... almost...!" she goes quiet; her body tightening as her mouth falls open in a silent cry, her eyes shut tight as her orgasm runs through her. Fingers dig into the back of your neck as she comes, and it is just might've been the most beautiful thing you have witnessed since her last one. Jennie has never been the loudest when she comes undone, yet it is still enough for you to reach your breaking point.

"JENNIE?!"

Suddenly, a voice cries out, causing you to physically jump back, your cock springing free of Jennie's pussy, cum shooting in the air. When you look in the direction of the out crying voice, you are both aroused and horrified.

There stands Jennie's group-mate and best friend, Jisoo, her face coated in your cum.

"...Oh fuck..."

[iamnmbr3]

now i want to read a fanfic where Harry thinks it’s weird when he hears Dumbledore talking about Tom, and when other two also hear it from Harry, they also think it’s weird. And it leads them to be cautious of Dumbledore when he interacts with them.

Be the change you want to see!

Interestingly Harry might have thought this had it not been for the fact that by that point in the story he has very legitimate reasons to be biased against Tom. Voldemort murdered his parents and tried to kill him during his first year. And then he met diary!Tom...who also tried to kill him. Not to mention everything that went down in the graveyard in 4th year and Sirius's death at the Department of Mysteries. So Harry (and the readers) are primed to view the memories in a certain light and it's easy to ignore a lot of the larger context.

What might be really cool is if Harry had kept the diary longer and saw some of these memories from Tom's POV in the diary (and without the knowledge of who Tom actually was). Harry liked diary!Tom a lot - to the point that hilariously in the end of book 2 Tom keeps having to resort to increasingly pointed "ha ha I'm evil actually!" reveals until he finally gives up and just spells it out because Harry is so invested in the 'Tom and I are going to be best friends and save the day together' narrative that he refuses to notice any of Tom's subtler attempts at doing a dramatic reveal. Given that, if Harry had seen memories like Tom's first meeting with Dumbledore from Tom's POV he probably would've been pretty receptive to narratives suggesting that Dumbledore is not as trustworthy as he seems etc. That leads to an interesting question about how Harry would then react to discovering the truth (assuming he did and that the diary didn't possess him etc).

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Belos Redemption AU idea

When Belos learns about Jacob from Camilla, he simply comes to him and convinces him that although he has good intentions, people will rather see him as a laughing stock because of the way he acts. Sure, he did a good thing when he found out that some shape-shifting demon was pretending to be a little girl. I think in the real world everyone would have reported Vee to the police or somewhere else.

Jacob kind of has a reason to act like this. He encountered Eda in her Owl Beast form and probably got some trauma. So, what if no one believed him that he had met a real monster and taken a real photo, and so he started looking for people with similar cases and the first ones he found were conspiracy theorists? As he said, he found out the truth by watching a few MewTube videos. And it was quite easy for him to believe what they were saying, because he believed that they were telling the truth just as he did.

The result is a guy who wants to be understood so much that he doesn't think about the consequences. Philip explains to Jacob that the government would not like that he damaged a valuable specimen or that Mewtube would simply block his video with such violent content. And those few people who would have had time to watch his video would probably still not have believed that this is a real demon, and not computer graphics.

Jacob doesn't believe it at first, but Philip knows how to convince people. And in the end, Jacob is devastated. But Philip keeps talking. He tells Jacob that there is one Paranormal Investigator, a brilliant scientist with Ph.Ds, and Phillip can ask him if he needs another apprentice. That's how Jacob meets Stanford Pines and begs to take him on as an apprentice. Stanford is a little surprised, but agrees on the condition that Jacob tries his best. And he does. Jacob becomes Dipper's friend and respects him for having more real experience than Jacob. He is amazed by the stories that Dipper and Stanford tell him.

Ford calls Philip to tell him that Jacob is a pretty capable young man, and Philip is happy for both of them. He tells Vee about everything and she is even glad that Jacob is getting better. Like, of course he tried to dissect her, but damn, he had a pretty good reason and maybe later he would even apologize to her.

Luz, who heard this, says it would have been better if Phillip had beaten Jacob or scared him. Philip says she should go to the Reality Check camp next year. The design of the flyers is certainly not very good, but this place should help her. Vee agrees that the camp was good, not realizing that Philip is just reminding Luz that she also did things that people suffered from. Luz ironically regrets that they don't take old witch hunters to the camp and Phillip laughs.

He took Jacob’s training wand for his personal use, and Jacob was even happy to give it as he did not know how it functions. And by his actions, he also saved Jacob from being fired from the museum. The director personally thanked him for doing something with their slightly impressionable employee. Philip says that there is nothing better than helping another person get on the path to a better life.

For context, in case anyone needs it.

But anyway, AAAA, ANON, I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!

IT'S SO ENGAGING!!!

Love the backstory and depth that you gave Jacob!!!

(It's always so great to see people take a character that's viewed and treated in a one-note manner by both the show and fandom and making them INTERESTING!!!)

Also, JACOB REDEMPTION AU!!!

Love that as well! ❤️

You're gonna wanna see this, @talisman975.

[taylortruther]

I've been following the discourse on The Alcott, which I love, and I couldn't resist chiming in (long-time reader, first time sending an ask hehe). I agree a lot with everything that has been said, and even though The Alcott is canonically about Matt and his wife, I do think aspects of Taylor's dynamic with Joe towards the end inevitably bled into it.

In the song, The Alcott is a place sacred to the lovers bc it's where one of them runs off after a fight and the other one chases after them, and in the Alcott (could be a bar or cafe), they manage to reconcile. To me, "I get myself twisted in threads to meet you at The Alcott" is the charcater saying that he will do whatever is neccessary to meet his lover at this place of reconciliation in order to fix things after a fight, no matter how hard it might be, but in a way it's also the character saying that he will pick fights over silly things, as in having to do mental gymnastics ("get twisted in threads") to find something to fight over just to get the chance to meet her at the Alcott, bc even if the rs is going through a horrible rough patch where they're emotionally distanced from each other, causing a fight would force them to at least feel something towards the other and talk, and that is better than feeling nothing, even if the emotion is anger. He knows exactly where she will be bc that's where she retreats to when they fight ("I'd go to the corner in the back, where you'd always be"), and seeing her there reassures him that that's where she (and him) will continue to run to in the future: not away from each other, but to this place of reconciliation. She's "writing something about someone that used to be me [him]", which could be a way of saying that she's now writing about someone else that she might be falling in love with as she's falling out of love with him. However, to me it feels more like a reference to how in the last couple of years (see the Joe songs on Midnights) Taylor reverted to writing about the beginning of their rs, back when things were good and joyful, bc at the present things were very bad and she desperately wanted to get back to how good it once was; hence why she's writing about it. I agree that "the last thing you wanted" and "the first thing I do" is referring to saying "I love you"; the reason why it's the last thing she wants could be bc that's how he usually tries to fix his wrongs in an easy way and she's tired of him saying that but not actually making an effort with his actions, which I do think Joe was guilty of towards the end. Or, alternatively, it could be bc the charcater has fallen out of love with him and therefore doesn't want him to say "I love you" bc she can't truthfully say it back. "I tell you my problems, you tell me the truth" could also be in this context: he tries to apologize by telling her his issues, she tells him that the truth is she no longer loves him. In the context of Joever, however, imo it refers to Joe telling her all the problems he has with her excessive fame and the public attention on them that it implies etc, and Taylor being honest about how songwriting and performing are an essential part of who she is, and giving it up forever would be devastating to her. But that she would do it for him if it could save them.

The fact that he waits for her to look up makes me think that he's cautious bc she might still be angry and/or that he doesn't have the courage to initiate the apology, and instead waits for her to do it or tries figure out what to say that will earn her forgiveness. "How many times will I do this and you'll still believe?" shows that he knows he screwed up badly and has done so repeatedly, yet she still always forgives him bc that's how much she believes in their love and wants to fight for it. How long can the relationship withstand and survive his repeated offenses again and again though? (which goes back to "how long could we be a sad song till we were too far gone to bring back to life?").

"Tell me which side are you on" is very interesting in reference to the "you fire off missiles cos you hate yourself" in Renegade and the "I tried to be your bravest soldier, fighting in only your army, frontlines don't you ignore me" in YLM. She's saying "why are you fighting against me, when we're supposed to be fighting together? I'm not the enemy, I'm always on your side and fighting for you", yet he still (consciously or subconsciously) treated her like the enemy, blaming her for things that were completely out of her control and all the outside stuff that they thought was the cause of their rs problems, instead of being on her side and fighting for her too. He left her all alone on the frontlines and not only ignored her efforts but also contributed to the missiles fired her way. Will be very interesting if she further develops the Archer metaphor in TTPD, under the theme of "I had only arrows as defense from your angry missiles and your love bombs" or something akin.

"Have I become one of your problems?" seems like her conclusion to him telling her his problems: apparently, they all have to do with her/her career. Yet, she's clearly exhausted and drained by their fights, and desperately wants it to be easy for once, so she puts the blame on herself ("everything that's mine is a landmine"), knowing that her continued forgiveness and desire to love him could redeem and heal him but it could also very much enable him to keep hurting her ("did my love aid and abet you?").

Then, as the lovers sing "I'll ruin it all over for you" together, they're both accepting the blame for the fight equally, which is the ideal conflict resolution (but sadly, not at all how I think it went with Taylor and Joe towards the end).

The back and forth in the last chorus is particularly gut wrenching to me. In a way, it echos the desperate begging and pleading in the bridge of YLM, but in this case it's softer, more hopeful perhaps, and as you and anon said, it alludes to pain and pleasure (both emotional and sexual): she's telling him "go ahead, shit on my art and my job, rip it off me, set the terms and conditions you want ("read my sentence out loud"); anything to save our love" but there's also a darkness to this, where she would rather he use her for his own physical pleasure even when still mad at her bc that way he at least feels something for her, which is very 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 but it goes to back to how in the beginning of the song he says he will pick fights in order to at least make her feel something (anger/rage) towards him, instead of remaining in the coldness and disconnect in which they were before. Florence + The Machine's song "Dream Girl Evil" describes this type of dynamic very well imo (which is even more😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫), where sex is used as both a weapon during conflict and as a means of resolution. I do think this was the case with Taylor and Joe after their honeymoon phase (False God, Afterglow) and also towards the very end, hence the TTPD cover. During folkmore it seems like they had a couple of years where they learned to use their words to resolve arguments instead of resorting to sex, but unfortunately went back to that dynamic when the rs started to fall apart.

In this way, the metaphorical Alcott for Taylor and Joe was the bedroom ("you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis"): it became their sacred place of reconciliation. Their love, once a blessing, is now a curse, but a curse that she loves and cherishes bc it's theirs, it keeps them together, within this home (both physical and metaphorical) they have built together over the years; she sees no other option but loving him (as we know, Taylor thought she would die if she lost him). All of this is emulated in the beautiful yet vulnerable and almost sad way in which Taylor sings the last "back in love with you": in The Alcott, sacred place for the lovers, they reconcile and fall back in love with each other.

I didn't mean for this to turn into an essay but oh well 😅 those are my two (or twenty) cents. Would love to hear what you and the anons think! Also, I love reading your blog, your takes are brilliant :)

i don't have much to add, because i like just letting this interpretation just sit on its own! but i do love that your interpretation of the alcott being the bedroom fits in perfectly with the discussions we've been having the last 2-3 days.

other things i really liked here:

Will be very interesting if she further develops the Archer metaphor in TTPD, under the theme of "I had only arrows as defense from your angry missiles and your love bombs" or something akin.

me too!!! how will the combat theme she discusses so often evolve in ttpd?

also intrigued by this:

"Tell me which side are you on" is very interesting [...] She's saying "why are you fighting against me, when we're supposed to be fighting together? I'm not the enemy, I'm always on your side and fighting for you",

and:

Or, alternatively, it could be bc the charcater has fallen out of love with him and therefore doesn't want him to say "I love you" bc she can't truthfully say it back. "I tell you my problems, you tell me the truth" could also be in this context: he tries to apologize by telling her his issues, she tells him that the truth is she no longer loves him

this was my first take!

but what i've noticed is that everyone has a different opinion on which role taylor is occupying (the one going to the alcott and confessing, or the one receiving the confession.)

also, i feel the need to address this for the readers: no, we do not know which parts specifically that taylor wrote, and she did write this from the pov of matt berninger's wife. acknowledged!

[merakiui]

8) There’s so much to love about your writings!!! My gosh, I the characterization, the setting, the way you weave in details that utterly change with the ending once you recontextualize clues…

I also love how, depending on the context, the reader’s personality fits the situation and your readers are so relatable!!! They are all sympathetic to a degree and there is a reason why they are the way they are.

Plus, your ramblings are bite sized and easy to digest, which makes it all the more compelling and fun once you give us entire meals!

Also the themes? Symbolism? Pretty much everything you write has a purpose and I aspire to write like you!!!

9) Anything octatrio related! I’m not ready for TMDG, but I know it’s gonna be a blast!!! And your Azul thoughts (both planned sequels and future original thoughts) are always a treat!!! And let’s not forget about our cute, fluffy boy!!! (Give him more spotlight, I feel like he’s being neglect sometimes >.<)

3) Octatrio again, but with a special mention to Jade. I’ve taken inspiration from the way you’ve written him and have received positive feedback! Your Jade is so conniving and devious, but catch him at the right moment and he’ll be soft as his mushrooms he likes to forage! (It’s all an act, he’s acting cute just for you 0.0)

(ask game)

- - -

WAAAAAAAAA OMG OMG...... you're too nice. T_T I read your messages with such a happy smile omg omg omg... >w< thank you so much!!!!

I'm so glad you can enjoy all of those facets of my writing! I am a sucker for symbolism. It will have to be pried out of my hands before I ever stop putting lots of symbolism in my writing hehe. >:D and relatable readers!!! :o thank you for saying so! I always hope the reader's personality can be enjoyed in my fics. Their interactions with certain characters are so different depending on the type of reader, and I try to write a different sort of reader for each fic just to add more flavor to the plot. Like a reader who greatly dislikes the yandere (in the context of DRU or Love me Not) or a reader who is head over heels for the yandere (like in Azul thought 4). It's also just really fun to write a variety of varying personalities for each reader and to see which would clash/connect with the character's personality!

Hehehe I fear no one will be ready for the monster that is TMDG. ^^;;;; like Azul thought 4, it's a concept that plagued my brain so much that it compelled me to create a playlist for it and it has me looking up all manner of moray eel courtship to slyly add into the scenes. I'm very excited to share it with everyone! ^0^ it's quite a lengthy read, but I hope such a thing can be acceptable. orz

And my Azul thoughts omg!!! Thank you for liking them! Azul is my beloved muse. He's just so fun to write for. I put him in so many concepts and he never fails to entertain! And then there's our beloved Floyd... admittedly, he has been a little neglected as of late. Rightfully so! >:( he was too troublesome during his basketball card rate-up!! But he is always properly loved on the blog hehe. <3

AAAAAAA thank you for liking the way I write Jade!!!!! He is very devious and conniving; that is a good way to describe him! I love him a lot because he's an eerie menace and a danger to all, but beyond that he can be so incredibly soft at certain moments. Just like the mushrooms he loves so much as you wrote!!! Maybe it's an act, or maybe it's the truth. It's so hard to tell with him, but when he's being so soft and sweet how can you not feel so fluffy? Not to share yet another excerpt from TMDG, but he's so soft!!!!!!! This is an eel who is so unabashedly in love with you and he's just barely treading the line between friend and lover. I love writing him in this way. In my mind, you hold the leash and he is happily, pleasantly collared (for now hehehe).

[covered-in-kisses]

(gif by chacha125 on dA)

So I wanted to post this because, among other reasons, I find the possible implications of this so funny and interesting.

A more thorough explanation of everything under the cut, but TL;DR: Suki wants to avoid embarrassing Toph in front of everyone and only has a panicked moment to come up with something.

(This is kinda a cheesy move, but please reblog this because I really want to see people's thoughts on this. Also, feel free to use this as a prompt or inspiration for art or a fic or anything.)

So, anyone seeing this will likely know the context here, but let me give a quick summary. Toph, who can't swim, falls into the water. Sokka yells that he'll save her, but Suki jumps in first and saves her. Toph kisses her as thanks, thinking it's Sokka, Suki corrects her, Toph wants to drown in embarrassment.

Now the main "what if" regarding this scene (primarily due to Tokka shippers such as myself) is that Sokka jumps in instead of Suki. But this one is a much smaller change, yet offers just as much, if not more, potential plot divergence.

Toph misses the cheek and kisses her lips, leaving a mark. Suki still clarifies the situation and Toph is still embarrassed. (Suki and Toph don't notice or clean off the mark because, frankly, they have more important things going on.) They return to the crew on the shore and someone, really anyone, asks something along the lines of "what happened?" Suki and Toph get a little nervous thinking they saw the kiss, then Suki has a momentary panic attack upon seeing the lipstick and suddenly has a dilemma on her hands.

Already, this scenario is hilarious, but how it develops from there is what really tickles my brain. So what does Suki do?

A) Tell (mostly) the truth and say that Toph thought it was 'someone else.'

B) Say it was an accident in the churning waves.

C) Panic and say that she and Toph confessed to each other in order to save Toph from embarrassment.

All of these could be interesting, so let's explore them a little.

A) The "Truth"

"Well, she thought I was someone else, and she was so thankful, and... well..."

So this opens the most shipping doors because it could implant the question 'who did she think it was?' into everyone's minds. However, Sokka did yell out pretty clearly, so I'd say you'd have to change a bit more for this to go any other way than everyone figuring out that Toph likes Sokka. Of course, that's not necessarily a bad thing, since this would create some drama and put the ball firmly in Sokka's court.

B) It was the waves!

"Oh yeah, the sea is pretty rough. It happened to push her into me at just the right time and uh... Y'know..."

With this one, it's easy enough for everyone to just go 'if you say so' warily and move on, business as usual. However, with a close call in front of everyone like that, it's harder for this to get swept under the rug. Suki actively hid Toph's crush on her boyfriend(?) to save Toph's feelings. What now? How does Toph's dynamic with Suki change? Does Toph have two crushes now? Does Suki now feel inferior or less qualified to be with Sokka because Toph is actually traveling with him and is more powerful? I see this leading to more unspoken, slow-burn, internal strife.

C) Sorry Sokka...

"I- Y'see- It's like... We'remadlyinlove."

Silly? Yes. Hilarious? Yesser. Convoluted? It's the yessiest! There are any number of haphazard stories Suki could concoct on the spot. They've been romantic pen pals for years. They met on a diplomatic trip and hit it off. They had a stunning realization when they held each other just then. Whatever the story, the end result is the same; Suki is now fake-dating Toph.

With this one, it can evolve and change in any number of ways. It's my personal favorite if only for the comedy of it. Until the situation resolves (which can be a LONG ASS TIME) it's a situation rife with comedic, dramatic, and romantic potential.

Oh yeah, Tumblr has polls now. It's a poll now!

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Sicktember #23

Prompt: Coughing Fit

Fandom/OCs: Howl’s Moving Castle (Howl and Sophie)

Words: 980

Sicknario inspo: Getting kicked out of bed due to coughing from this post

Author’s comments/background: Yet another excellent prompt that just needed a little context and the right characters. This can either be the book or movie characters. I think it’s generic enough either way. Howl and Sophie were some of my first fictional “couple goals” and it gives me no end of pleasure to write silly domestic things for thim. As I proofread this, I realized I didn’t give Howl any dialogue though. I decided to leave it, especially since I think I matched the original author’s tone pretty well overall and didn’t want to ruin it. 

~~~***~~~

Howl had been sick for a week. In truth, that should be all the explanation that is necessary for those who know about Howl and Sophie and the moving castle, but this particular story was one Sophie would never forget. It began with Sophie, for her part, being heartily sick (no pun intended) of the wizard and his horrid cold. 

This cold of Howl’s had started with lots of sneezing, as his colds always did, because sneezing allowed him to act as dramatic and victimized as he liked while garnering plenty of sympathy in the meantime. Sophie was practiced at ignoring this part of his colds. Of course she made him soup and ensured he dressed warmly to ward off fever and kept him well supplied with the floppy white paper handkerchiefs he favored, but his dramatics didn't disturb her, and usually his sneezy colds were short-lived.

 Once in a while, though, these colds devolved, usually into miserable, achy, feverishness that compelled him to stay in bed for another week or more. This, too, Sophie could manage. Howl was an easy patient when he was actually sick, subdued and sleepy, though with no small amount of self-pity and attention seeking, and Sophie was overall happy to oblige, if for no other reason than to remind him that he wasn't dying and all would be well. 

In this memorable instance though, after a night spent by the seashore working on a delicate, powerful spell, Howl's sneezing became chesty, persistent coughing. Soon the cough was accompanied by a low-grade fever that came and went, leaving him restless and lethargic and shaky in turns. 

Howl wasn't robust at the best of times and tended toward the pale, slight side, so the frequent, wracking coughs drained him quickly. He walked around in a light-headed daze most of the day, but lying down only made him cough more unless he was propped up by an exact configuration of pillows that Sophie could never quite manage to replicate. He spent much of the day wandering around listlessly, clutching a mug of tea, the only thing that seemed to ease the spasms. 

Nighttime was the worst. Sophie usually loved sharing a bedroom with her whimsical, magical partner, but this cough had both of them at their wit's end. Once Howl was properly propped up, he fussed and moaned for a long time until he fell asleep, always either too hot or too cold (since his fever seemed to spike just as he was going to bed each night) and clearing his throat every moment. Finally he would fall asleep, and then Sophie could follow, but it seemed the moment she would shut her eyes, he would burst out into one of his nasty, hacking fits, waking them both so that they'd have to start the whole process over again. 

By the fourth night of this, Sophie had all but had it. When a coughing fit woke her yet again hardly an hour after she'd dropped off, Sophie sat up out of bed in a towering rage. "Why can't you just be quiet?! You're supposed to be this great wizard, yet you can't stop coughing for five minutes so I can sleep?! Go find some tea or tonic or a bag for your head for all I care, only be quiet and let me sleep!!"

Howl gave her a mournful, injured look. Without a word he slid out of bed (Was he wobbling from a fever or just playing it up?), pulled the coverlet off to trail it behind him, and made his sluggish way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. 

Sophie lay fuming for a few more minutes, but slowly her frustration began to leak away. With guilt she realized she'd been horribly unfair to Howl. He couldn't help being ghastly ill, even if he did play it up a bit. After a moment's pondering, she hopped up and quickly remade the bed with the soft blankets Howl favored, then scurried down the stairs after him. 

Howl was propped up in the chair beside the fire, the coverlet wrapped around him haphazardly. His eyes were closed but his mouth had a pinched look that told her he wasn't asleep. She moved to his side and caressed his cheek. His eyes flickered open to regard her warily. She was struck by how unwell he looked in the dancing firelight, pale and hollow-eyed, and she felt the heat of a fever under her hand. His chest and collar bones twitched with his silent, constant coughs. 

"Forgive me. I'm tired, but I can't imagine how you feel, since you're the one doing the coughing in the first place. Let's get you back to bed. You'll really catch your death if you try to sleep down here."

She grabbed him by the arm and hoisted him up, resting his arm across her shoulders. He let himself be led to bed silently, and she sensed his deep weariness (along with a good measure of pouting) as he half-sagged against her as they mounted the stairs. She tenderly helped him back into bed, propping him up and tucking him in with a pan of coals for his chills. 

Once he was settled and nearly asleep, she made her way back down the stairs, her own deep fatigue slowing her steps and making her clumsy. Shoving things aside willy-nilly, she revealed the cubby under the stairs where she'd slept for the first months she'd spent in Howl's castle, and her little bed with the straw mattress was just as she'd left it, no worse for wear other than the dust. She fell into its welcoming embrace as if it were made of the softest down. In the blessed silence, she was deeply asleep in moments as the crackling fire sang her a lullaby. 

[walleeli]

Matchup Exchange with @teardrop-scales

thank you for your patience!! This was super fun to write ahhh <3 (I apologize in advance for the... flowery language. I was possessed.)

I match you with… Argenti

Hear me out! (my reasoning)

I'm going to start with the most obvious, perhaps silly, but nonetheless cute and fun to me piece of reasoning… Argenti is an extremely cool and elegant name… Olympia is an equally cool and elegant name… it's like. Destiny. Argenti and Olympia… like that is gorgeous to me, powerful even (LOL)

Silver jewelry believers unite? a knight and an equestrian? The threads I'm weaving together are perhaps only loosely connected but I am seeing SO CLEAR A TAPESTRY HERE.

BUT this is so much deeper than enchanting names, aesthetic cohesion, and… thematically overlapping interests/ambitions/what have you uniting you.

There are similarities in the way you carry yourselves, your outlooks and approaches to the world, that I think make it easy for you to fall into step with each other. Mutual understanding, mutual respect. There is an element, here, of feeling that through the other, you are seeing yourself from the outside. A mirror of sorts. Imperfect, sure, but serving a truly important purpose:

In seeing pieces of yourself reflected, you are able to love and appreciate those traits and aspects without the framework of the self limiting your capacity for love. There is a lot of peace in that. And hope. You give love and you can receive love. Do you get what I'm saying?

There is a near immediate sense of belonging. An innate, shared understanding between the two of you. Twin stars in a shared sky. Two like roses in bloom in a garden.

ANYWAYS. BACK ON TRACK. The way you carry yourselves! Both giving off a first impression of being polite, kind, and understanding. With a certain gentleness, a sense of calm. The image amuses me so, of people getting beyond that first glance at you both only to discover that you've got a bit of bite to you, that you are quick and quippy and sassy… and that Argenti, besides being a true gentleman, is uh. For lack of a better word. Just like a deeply weird dude (said with a GREAT DEAL OF AFFECTION. I LOVE THAT GUY.) 

You both prioritize open mindedness. Your desires to understand and view the world compassionately are matched. 

Argenti, as we've observed in game, has a tendency to dive headfirst (and unthinkingly) into situations. Your ability to be practical and rational is a great balance to his direct approach.

To be clear, you probably aren't going to be able to talk him out of a reckless choice, but you WILL buy yourself a few moments to think of a way to get you both out of the situation should the need for escape arise. 

His ability to see beauty in things is a natural fit for your curious nature. Your desires to try new things, to learn, and to travel can't help but to grow in his presence. There is so much beauty, so much wonder in this world. You want to see and experience the fullness of it!

I am imagining you, in the context of HSR, as a cosmos traveler not unlike Argenti but for much different purposes. (This is the part where I make up your character's lore lol) You have always been fascinated by ancient histories, it only makes sense that you would explore the history of your own world. As you do, it isn't difficult for you to decipher that a history fictionologist has altered your planet's history. The where and when and how exactly is lost to you, and the desire to know the truth is what sets you sailing through the stars. This is the background on which my other headcanons will be sustained. 

Headcanons - How It Starts

It's exceedingly simple and endlessly complex. You're looking for a horse.

Your travels have led you to believe that there is a particular, rare breed of horse that carries in its memory, lost lore. (a pet project of the Aeon, Nous. Designed with intent to combat the workings of the Enigmata) Having had all other doors to finding your home planet's truth closed to you, you've no choice but to resort to finding the glorified, living history books you've read about and pray they have the answers you seek. 

You find a horse, and with the horse you find a man. He does not hesitate to eloquently, elegantly, elaborately, and immediately explain his own quest for information to you. He seeks Idrila. 

The two of you get to talking, you've always been fascinated by the Aeons, Idrila is a name that is familiar to you. And though you are unable to offer THEIR knight any information he has not himself already studied or unearthed, he appreciates that you are aware of the one he follows and that you are knowledgeable about THEM in addition. 

…In your distraction, trying to kindly assist the man as far as you are able, the horse saunters away. No real loss, you discover, when the man- Argenti informs you that that particular beast only held knowledge of lost varieties of butters and breads.

It is you who suggests the idea of tailing the creature. Horses move in herds. There may be hope in finding what it is the both of you are seeking yet. 

And so, you agree. For the time being, you will travel together. 

It doesn't take you long at all to come to the conclusion that Argenti is… odd. It is an observation made without judgement on your part, willing as ever to leave your perspective open, allowing room for his way of thinking. Though that doesn't mean you won't be coughing to cover the occasional little laugh when you turn to find him waxing poetic about the beauty of some object or another to the object itself. 

You've always had it in you to be respectful, appreciative even, of the world around you. But the extent to which he takes it is new for you. New and deeply fascinating. Argenti is unlike anyone you have ever met, you find yourself drawn to him because of it. 

Argenti finds himself drawn to you in turn. At first, it is only his usual and expected appreciation of the beauty of you. But time in your company is quick to change that. Argenti's life is a river. Flowing forward, set course. His single minded ambition, his pursuit of The Beauty his sole focus. And you… there is a vastness to you, a depth. Your attention is split in many directions but never divided, you give everything you have to everything you do. Your boundless compassion and understanding, your loyalty, your willingness to listen and compromise operating in tandem with your unwillingness to compromise yourself and core beliefs-to be treated poorly or see others treated poorly. 

If Argenti is a river, you are a sea of stars. A million little lights in the night. Illuminating what would otherwise be pitch dark. He will tell you so. 

Your relationship blooms like a flower in the spring. Naturally, easily, under the warmth of the sun.

Headcanons - Assorted

Argenti notices the little things. A facet of his ability to see beauty in most anything is that he is very detail oriented. You are not excluded from this. He is quick to make note of your insecurities but he will never call attention to them. He is quick with compliments, of course, applauding and encouraging you to step beyond your comfort zones. Always making a point to call out any efforts you make to challenge your negative self perceptions. 

Your relationship is fueled by your mutual respect for each other's pursuits and ability to communicate well and freely with each other. You will always feel listened to and heard. 

Argenti is appreciative of all sides of you. Whether that be the more publicly shared display of gentle kindness and the more private sass and snark. He's enamored with your wit and amused by your balancing of rationality and fun loving nature.

He finds himself easily invested in the things you care about, always eager to hear about your interests, the books you've been reading, the music you're listening to, the time you've spent out with friends, the latest developments in your studies. Yours is a life full of beauty he wants nothing more than to bask in. 

Headcanons - How It's Going

Your personal quests will not see you sharing a path for forever. In fact, you find your roads quick to diverge. But the separation is temporary. Somehow, in all the vastness of space, you find yourselves frequently colliding. The meetings are never planned, whether entirely by chance or by act of the divine, you find each other. Ever changing and always the same, falling into easy step with one another, discussing your presents on mission driven walks in the day. And sharing imaginings of a distant future, together, under cover of night. 

After your third intersection, the pair of you agree to exchange letters. Delivered by hand to each other at each of your unplanned meetings, to be read when you once more find you need to part. The ache of distance lessened with each stroke of ink on parchment. 

There is technology, of course, and you do exchange messages over text and tech when you are able, but for one as romantic as Argenti the physical act of writing, the hand delivery of a letter, is infinitely more special. It becomes something of a ritual, a routine, for the both of you. 

Your time together is always marked by tenderness. Gentle touches and soft words exchanged in your breeze fleeting moments in each other's company. Your relationship is a rose, petal delicate-his touch, your care-and thorn sharp-his lance, your wit. 

You would have it no other way.

Playlist - Garden of Gallicas

Diana by Priscilla Ahn

Never Look Away by Vienna Teng

Run For Roses by NMIXX

Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine

Novels by Rusty Clanton

Hopefully this is an enjoyable read!! Thank you so much for sharing and trading with me! <3

[bookofmirth]

Lele, I have a rambling though

We always have discussions about possibilities for SJM future books (especially acotar 5) and I always read interpretations that are done so very tastefully and with a lot of knowledge on text interpretation, book context and narratives

but the thing is… ppl always treat SJM as this super hiper mastermind and after HOFAS and how messy and not good it was (honestly it was terrible) … I’m a little afraid about acotar 5 and sjm choosing to go with the easiest way (which, for me, would be choosing Elriel - since with Gwyn she would have to treat her trauma her carefully and be more cautions on her narrative) and I don’t know if I see her doing it 😓

(Also… I would like to say as my last though of someone who is following her since 2018 - that SJM loves to write about powerful woman and the friendships between them and their bonds but to let the fandom be where it is today… young impressionable girls treating each other with such hostility and disrespect… I know she probably can’t say anything bc of contracts but man is a hard pillow to swallow that she “let” the fandom be where it is today… which is a horrible place.)

Anon, have some rambling thoughts of mine!!! hehehe

A big difference between acotar and hofas is how thoughtfully she generally treats the acotar characters. I've been thinking a lot about this the past few days and the main thing I dislike about hofas is how the plot and world building absolutely take over everything to the detriment of the characters. I cannot understate how much I dislike Bryce, and I've always pinpointed her lack of consistent values as the core reason why. hofas really, really emphasized that writing flaw. Not character flaw, but writing flaw.

People acting like sjm is some mastermind drives me crazy when we can see all the plot holes and inconsistencies and retcons. One of these days, someone should make a list of them. Anyway, she mentioned rereading the acotar series sometime last year, and I would bet you good money that she did so in order to see what she can use. She has said explicitly that she isn't great at world building and she has also said that she didn't plan the crossover until she was writing hosab. That means any connection we see between hofas and, for instance, acomaf, is a result of her going backwards to see what she can use. Not the other way around. She "planned" in the sense that she wrote really vague stuff in the first place so that she could use it how she wanted to later on. That has become really apparent to me with the crossover.

Like... for example, Mor's power is "truth". Vague as fuck, right? I would bet good money (again haha like I'm rich) that sjm didn't even know what that meant in acomaf other than "I need a reason for the mortal queens to trust Mor". And then she'll figure out the mechanics and technicalities later and the fandom will call her brilliant for it. *facepalm*

I don't see e*riel being easy at all. But that's all I will say about that hehe.

Gwyn's story aligns perfectly with what sjm has already been doing in acotar, with Rhys and Lucien, and to an extent Nesta. I don't have any concerns there because I think her strength is in her characterization. (CC is just... another beast.) There was an interview she did a while back where she talked about the movie Promising Young Woman and it really emphasized to me that sjm's particular brand of feminism revolves around gender and sex. This isn't a critique, just a statement of what I've observed. My point is that she is very aware of rape culture and has strong feelings about it and gives characters the space to heal on page, and so that's not really a concern of mine, especially in acotar.

To your final point, I got SO frustrated the other day in the group chat, @sabrinasam said it was the most frustrated she's ever seen me haha. I'm so tired of sjm and the publisher being coy about this!!!! But mostly, I am so, so sick of people in this fandom treating each other like shit just because they don't agree on ships. Like it's one thing to have notps and brotps and to be annoyed by or even hate certain characters. It's a completely different thing when people feel totally comfortable going out in public and treating other actual, real, human people like absolute garbage because of those feelings.

Azriel is never gonna lick your fucking home entertainment center!!! Get the fuck over it!!!!!!!!!

I don't think that sjm is at fault for this because I think that people are responsible for their own actions. I also fully believe that the people taking screenshots and mocking them publicly (of people who probably have them blocked anyway, fucking stalkers) or just outright attacking people on different platforms would be doing that exact same thing whether it was about sjm or not. Like you could just stick them in another fandom, and these people would act the same deplorable way.

Anyway. I'm fucking tired. I'm still excited for acotar5 and will continue that series and when I was doing a lil voice chat with my friends for hours last weekend it revived my enjoyment of acotar and ToG. The fandom just makes it a lot of work, trying to have fun.

[pilots-and-protons]

Since I am constantly seeing discourse about the subject (especially in regards to thoughts I've expressed in my fanfic), I want to explain my opinion on some things. But I'm going to ignore the crazy sci-fi and break it down into more a understandable context.

Imagine you have a co-worker. He's kind of a jerk and he's said some dumb shit, and you rightfully write him off for it. Unfortunately, your new friend is also his best friend, so the three of you kind of hang out sometimes. And you still work together. He's good at his job, but you think his personality leaves a lot to be desired. At best, you're acquaintances, at worst you're less-than-cordial colleagues.

Then you get into some trouble, are in a bad place, and he ends up unintentionally being on the receiving end of you spilling your guts about personal baggage. He can't relate exactly, but he makes sure you know that he sympathizes, and doesn't make fun of you or bring up how vulnerable you were. Your secret is safe with him, which seems counterintuitive to his character. He's actually rather nice throughout the whole incident. So okay, maybe your friend has a reason for liking this guy. After that you work together some more, the three of you, even collaborating on some big special project. You warm up to him (he's actually a lot nicer than he initially seemed, once he stops trying to pretend like he's hot shit).

You might even tentatively consider him a friend. Not a close friend, but a friend. You'll eat lunch together at work; he'd probably give you a ride if you needed one. But there's a difference between work friends and real friends. You've been treated pretty poorly by people in the past, and you're not just going to trust any random person for the really important stuff. Good friends, best friends would lend you their car. They'd bring you soup if you were sick, listen to your problems, keep your deepest secrets, take care of you - especially when you can't take care of yourself. He's also been watching you, trying to flirt and has subtly asked you out a couple times. You think this guy isn't so bad, but you don't trust him - not like that.

And then you're with some people at a gathering and suddenly, you've been drugged. Everything is hot and fuzzy and all you can think about is picking up someone and screwing their brains out. And there he is, your sort-of-a-friend. You spend the night throwing yourself at him - touching him, pushing him against the wall, practically trying to tear his clothes off. All you can think is why not? He's easy, he's got a reputation - and obviously you're not thinking clearly because of the drugs.

Except instead of hauling you off to some room, he pushes your hands away - says that you're sick, you need to go home. He calls you a cab, but when he sees the state you're in, he climbs in with you and tells the driver your address. You're trying to get into his lap, insisting that you want this, that whatever you've said before about his advances aren't true. You're so doped up and out of your mind, even you aren't sure if these are lies or the truth. And for a minute, he gives in when you kiss him - he's kissing you back. But he stops, despite your protests, despite the fact that things he's said have you sure that he wants what you're offering. Instead, he gets you home, makes sure you've got water and something for a hangover. He gets your shoes off so you're comfortable, but tucks you into bed fully-clothed. He calls your mutual friend to check up on you in the morning in case you're too sick and need help. Then he leaves.

How would that not change your perspective? This is someone you thought was only a surface level work friend, someone you weren't sure you could trust. Then he took care of you, kept you safe, made sure you were ok when you were vulnerable, and stopped you from doing something you'd regret. Suddenly this guy went from a "sure I'll spot you five bucks for a coffee" friend to, "let me hold you hair back and bring you tea while you're sick" friend.

That is how I see B'Elanna's view of Tom after "Blood Fever". I can't imagine a scenario like this that doesn't leave your perceptions of a person fundamentally changed - for the better. Yes, she was embarrassed, and yes it was a violating experience. But honestly, I would have thought that anger would be aimed more at Vorik (even if it wasn't his fault), because he's the one who forced all of this onto B'Elanna in the first place. And from what we know of B'Elanna's struggle with vulnerability, it makes more sense to me that her embarrassment would be aimed inward, because she tried to force herself on Tom and is constantly worried about the "Klingon" aspects of herself being "too much" for other people.

So yes, I stand by my headcanon that B'Elanna does have a "silver lining" takeaway from the whole fiasco - she sees Tom in a drastically different and better light, and appreciates what he did for her (for the latter, she even says as much at the end of the episode).

[castlebyersafterdark]

a few kinda not chill asks sent my way too a while back, about being disinterested or disappointed when fandom blogs get too personal and it just turned my stomach

Ok it might not be me, but ive definitely said this kind of thing to blogs before and i would like to come here now and explain myself and also apologise.

Firstly, context and tone being lost online. i understand it's easy to project and take things to heart that might not even have been about us! been there done that, all day long! but still, i'm sorry that i might have contributed to someone feeling bad because of that.

Secondly and more importantly, it probably was totally unnecessary for me to comment things like that in the first place. ive changed my habits so much in the past few months on this site, and feel so much better. it was wild in the midst of s4, then all the byler shit happening really made me act out in a way that i didnt care for at all. didnt even feel like me! i didnt do anything terrible, but i started to understand the slippery slope of how people end up catfishing and shit. it's the anonymity! you dont stop and think online. well, most don't. but i think you do, vinny. its one of the reasons i love your blog.

which leads me to point three. yes, you talk about personal stuff, but it's so charming and endearing, and never feels gratuitous or self-centred or wallowy. and so, even for someone like me who always wanted byler content more than personal stuff on other blogs, i had a realisation. not necessarily a kind or unkind one, but a truthful one: that being here is kind of like meeting people irl in many ways. some people you click with, others you don't. and that's ok. but in real life you can size people up and judge if you want to associate with them. no shade to those who don't compel you - its just part of being human and you walk away and don't befriend them.

but online is so weird - we can't see each other, don't know our ages or interests or anything except what we're told. so when people you perhaps thought were cool, suddenly turn their blog into something that starts to feel unsafe or just downright rubbish... or perhaps you realise theyre so very much younger than you and it's not exactly manageable to be chatting with them because you wouldn't have such a relationship irl... well, i guess its easy to feel tricked. and you can't see it coming like you might if you were physically associating with someone in person, or with mutual friends who give you perspective. i mean, i definitely shouldn't have interacted with so many younger people in this fandom so carelessly, but fandom can be unclear like that sometimes, when you're thrilling in a shared interest and forgetting how many different life experiences people are bringing to the same thing.

and yeah, i could probably have just walked away and not said anything. that's my bad. i was venting. (not about you, about others and you may have seen it and taken it to heart). so its a combo of internet enabling bad behaviour + the weirdness of invisible online connections, and my own lack of foresight.

but honestly vinny, never once have i felt annoyed by you. I've always loved your insights and personal life things... im drawn to the way you think and speak and it helps that you're self-aware, and seem honest and mature. in fact sometimes i feel a bit weirded out by just how much i love this blog. it feels like a real connection sometimes, even though its still invisible online. you have a real authorial voice, you are original and you are... well, you. what always annoyed me was when other byler blogs just became carbon copies of each other, complaining about the same shit (usually byler doubt) and then suddenly soapboxing about personal problems in a way that would have made me feel unsafe and stressed if i knew them irl.

not to say these bloggers were objectively bad, but just not my cup of tea. i didn't handle it well, i should have just scrolled on past. but i didnt and that was on me. not everyone can like everyone, and that's ok. that's normal. but i wouldnt want anyone to have that life lesson served to them in a bad-shaped box, and especially not by me.

so yeah. apologising in case i had a hand in making you feel that way by proxy. and i hope it can mean something that i don't ever think youre annoying. i genuinely love it here. i can't wait to stick it out with you until s5 drops! and i think i'll be more sad than i thought, because all our speculation and gossip will come to an end with the show.

Posting since you gave the go ahead 😌

This is just a silly fandom blog at the end of the day, but I do feel somewhat vulnerable at times. A lot. It can feel like sending a risky text over and over. I have this inability that once I allow myself to feel comfortable in a place, even an online setting, I do tend to get overly personal and insightful and vulnerable once the edge is tipped over. Slippery slope when you've been a person who's lifelong dealt with pretty severe anxiety and sensitivity, even while being pretty extroverted. Weird combo. I'm a mess! But it's ok.

Situations like this, me making an offhand comment, probably based on off hand comments not at all to do with me - stem from all that. And it's like oh god, mannn why are you like this!?! Chill out! And it's no one's fault - to anon sending this ask: based on how you're explaining and talking here, you may have been one I saw elsewhere that I took to heart but you definitely don't sound like those who sent unkind things over the summer. So it's ok 🥲🙏 We are all works in progress. I've gotten myself in to some situations online, mostly of mine own doing, but also not, and I guess as fun as I have on here and despite the rampant kindness - I'm always bracing for the worst. Because we've all seen what fandom can be like, what the internet can be like.

I feel you though, and anyone else who has their guards up. We can't help what does and does not resonate. I think I know what you mean by going to a space for one thing and then tonally it morphs into something different. I've seen that happen with blogs. And it's so hard because we're human, even if we want to be aloof and disconnected, there's always someone behind every post and page and blog and account (well, unless it's a bot haha), but we aren't going to click with most people and we aren't going to get to know most, either. And it's so much easier for everything to switch up like that online as opposed to knowing a person "in the real world." Without knowing the backstory, the reason. If there's any at all. And I think it's very human to feel some sort of way about these things. The person looking at the screen is just as real as the one one the other side, and there's this digital wall between all of us - connections can be beautiful here, but they can also be frustrating.

I'm really glad that even one person feels affected in a positive way by whatever it is I'm doing here, it really blows my mind when I read kind words. Not trying to sound facetious, it truly catches me off guard and it's always a pleasant reminder. I think that's why I get so anxious and nervous thinking anything I do here is upsetting or annoying or negative. Because I've been that negative presence online in the past and I don't want to be. It's actually kind of funny and sweet that you feel weirded out by liking it here so much, because I feel the same???? Breaking down the reality of being obsessed with a TV show is... kinda fucking weird??? But it's not gonna change for me. This is what I'm into and passionate about and it's sooooo damn cool that others are too and vibe in the way I'm vibing with it.

As always - thanks for hanging out. I'll be sticking around long after our speculation and gossip dies down, and I hope people still want to hang out even after it's over. I'll still keep posting and oversharing and being creative and yes, being annoying about a television show. ❤️

[chirpsythismorning]

I am glad that you mention that! Yes, Mike is both an action and words guy and it fits that he is the leader who gives support and love to those he loves, but I think you made a great point that Mike's monologue to El undermines what he said to Will in S2, and I feel like that's why people want his monologue to El to be a lie given the context... That's one of the reasons why I wonder how they're gonna deal with the monologue if they're going with the Byler route honestly

In reference to this post!

I think it is very hard to understand at this time because we don't have the full picture yet. Like when Vol. 2 dropped, we just didn't get it, with most bylers assuming after our first watch that it was all over. And even now a lot of bylers still have some resentment towards the monologue (some can't even rewatch it!), because they don't fully understand what the thought process was behind it. But in all honesty, it had to go down that way, and for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, they wanted to trick the majority of the audience by giving them what they want (thought they wanted), while also making a point to do it in the most unsatisfying way possible. In order for people to move on from Mike and El, they needed to get them to the highest point they could possibly be, on shaky ground that is doomed to fall, so that they can inevitably do just that, fail disastrously.

Once all the dust settles, there's no valid reason for them to go through all that again, as they've reached their highest and it didn't work out, meaning the story would fall flat if they even tried. (Dudebro fans on Tiktok are actually hilarious bc they're not milkvans or bylers, but they'll make jokes mocking a version of s5 that ends with another milkvan love confession... like... they're so close to the truth and they don't even realize it...)

It also makes an early s5 breakup very fitting, because they left things off at such a high stakes moment without resolving it.

And secondly, and arguably even more importantly, this had to happen for byler to be satisfying (which is important if they want the ending to be satisfying for overall rewatch). Byler wont be satisfying if El and Mike aren't explicitly over with no chance of return (especially with Will and El being practically siblings now). They needed to make it so people couldn't wonder what if, and now, they wont, because we know at their peak they were doomed to fail.

But like you said, how exactly do they plan to go from that monologue, which contradicted what Mike once said to Will, to essentially reversing it?

The quick and easy assumption is that Mike lied and so therefore he never contradicted what he said to Will, because everything he said back then in the shed was true, whereas everything he said in Surfer Boy was a lie...

The long and difficult assumption is that Mike is in a situation where miscommunication is going through the roof. His actions are being based upon misunderstandings and how he is dealing with said misunderstandings in his own head (much of which has been caused in part by his behavior, which was caused in part by his denial/repression) and trying to make choices that he thinks are right, based on what other people think/want/need in this high stakes moment.

Mike is not necessarily thinking of himself here, and so just from that fact alone he is being selfless. Just like Will giving his love disguised as El to help Mike (essentially lying), Mike is also sacrificing his true feelings because he is scared of hurting and losing El (essentially lying). And so although it's not right, it's also not wrong, because it's coming from a good place deep down. (support gay wrongs, am i right?!)

I don't think it's as easy as interpreting it as being a lie vs. truth though. Mike has said SOOO many times this season but the truth is when the real fact of the matter is, those truths he's mentioned often contradict, whether it be outright, or through assumption.

And so it can't all be the truth, at least not on the surface.

There is a necessity for closure on both the Mike and El front and also the Mike and Will front, to clear up those contradictions. Not just for the fans, but also for all three of the characters who are all lying, mostly as a result of miscommunication, meaning they might not have felt the need to lie if there wasn't so much miscommunication in the first place.

AKA what is the truth Oprah gif.

But I do think a number of things Mike said during his monologue, can constitute as the truth, by technicality, which means that even if it's sort of acknowledged later in the story that Mike's monologue was a lie, that doesn't mean there won't be a follow up to that, that resembles him revealing that it wasn't all lies, because he couldn't in good conscious lie in the first place.

Saying, I'm sorry I don't say it more isn't necessarily a lie. He is sorry and I'm sure he does wish he could have said it more... but it's also not the truth, not the whole truth. The problem is he never said it at all to El (once, when he thought she wasn't listening and visibly regretted it). So, he's not acknowledging the truth with that statement, he's instead sticking with a claim he made during their fight, when he low-key gaslighted El by saying I say it, which she countered with You can't even write it ,Mike (They're crazy for putting this line in here bc El already disagreed with Mike on it. Same w the superhero line. Meaning there's at least two things he said she outright didn't like... Yikes...).

It's going to take him acknowledging the falsehoods to admit to the truth hiding in there, but I do think both are one in the same at the end of the day.

Then, it will just be a matter of how they lay out Mike and Will's arcs related to their sexuality in s5.

Noah, in defense of the Duffer's writing for Will's arc in s4, said that once Will does come out, it will be really beautiful. I'm sure that was just him being confident in the Duffers on a basic level, but it also just makes me think about how this is all going to play out.

Is Will's sexuality something that could be revealed first to the others, either by Will himself somehow for some reason, or by Vecna without his control (not in support of Will being outed, but we all know it's a possibility).

I'm just curious about this, because are we going to be seeing Mike reacting to Will being revealed as gay? Or are they both going to find out their feelings for each other, and as a result it will just be obvious they both like boys and so there won't be much of a need to delve further than that?

I think what intrigues me about Will being the one who is revealed as gay in canon first, is because it's obviously highly anticipated, and he's only out to one character so far (Jonathan). And so that coming to a head at the forefront, coming full circle to s1, with everything that happened that first season related to his queer-coding, does feel like it has the capacity to be very satisfying if told that way.

But that would then mean we're also going to see Mike's reaction to that revelation...

And...

I think that's where the acknowledgment for him and his past behavior related to Will and the deterioration of their friendship over the years, is going to make Mike feel a little bit down on himself.

I don't think this means that Mike needs to avenge for his sins or whatever or that he's all wrong and Will's all right.

HOWEVER, I do think there's a chance that Mike could feel that way by the end of this ie. if/when Mike finds out Will is gay, maybe even also that he's in love with him (the painting was from him), only to be reminded of what he said in his monologue.... I just can't see Mike reacting all that positively to that, in regards to himself.

I do think that because of this, we are due for a conversation about the summer of 85, which they still haven't talked about, and maybe even a claim by Mike that because of his behavior over the last two years, he doesn't deserve Will (he'd again be agreeing with the ga saying Will deserves better).

BUT!!! Here's the thing.

Will gets it.

If anyone gets it, if anyone understands why someone might feel the responsibility to be who everyone expects them to be, it's Will.

It doesn't matter if the audience hates Mike because of his behavior over the seasons, because he too presumably feels at war with himself.

This also got me thinking about Heartstopper, a story about two queer characters going through different points in their journey, one gay/out of the closet and one bisexual/in the closet, and them dealing with that journey side by side, having to respect each other for both going at their own pace (You say go slow, I fall behind teas)

When Charlie and Nick kissed, only for Nick to run off upon hearing some of his friends nearby, in turn making Charlie insecure and heartbroken, it was still valid.

Yes it sucked that Charlie got hurt and that he's in this mindset of assuming Nick could never feel the same, based on those actions. Though, we're left in the dark for an episode, assuming the worst, we soon find out that Nick had his reasons.

He was scared.

And he explains that to Charlie, and he's emotional and he's still in the middle of trying to understand what he's going through.

And so even though he didn't have to do all this, he didn't have to apologize for being scared, he still is. He still feels like it's what Charlie deserves because he also does have feelings for him and understandably, can't in good conscious continue to pursue Charlie, without clearing the air.

Even despite this, even though Nick is convinced Charlie has every right turn him away after he low-key rejected him and made him feel insecure, Charlie doesn't.

Nick is looking at him confused and kind of bewildered, and Charlie just smiles at him with tears in his eyes all knowingly because HE. GETS. IT!

It also reminds me of the I didn't say it/You didn't have to, and the whole Leia and Han, I love you/I know... I feel like the moment it becomes obvious that Mike is in love with Will and they have a moment together, whether it be intense or quiet, we're going to be able to tell from the look in Will's eyes that he knows! Because that, in combination with all their moments over the seasons leading up to it, points to the fact that their love is something that doesn't need to be stated outright to be understood. They just feel it and they know, based on their actions.

And that all in turn makes Mike's monologue at the end of s4 that much more necessary, bc we'll be seeing Mike and Will contrast it beautifully by the end. They'll actually talk through things, looking in each others eyes, apologize where they feel they went wrong, listen, forgive, and understand as equals; a team!

Mike going through a mini discovery journey of his own in s5, based on that post I made and the whole Paladin oath redemption arc, seems very fitting based on the situation that's been laid out. Whether Mike is gay or bi or unlabeled is not something I think about definitively, because I think this coming of age journey for him in the final season will happen regardless of what queer label he identifies with.

But be clear, this doesn't mean I think Mike should feel obligated to apologize about the summer of 85. And yet, regardless, I do think that in some shape or form we're going to see him try to amend it. Because it's not that he has to do it, it's because he wants to do it.

I don't think Mike is this horrible character that has all this redeeming ahead of him. I do however think that his behavior over the seasons, based on him not wanting to accept himself for who he truly is, has in turn made Will insecure not only with his own feelings, but with their friendship.

While Mike's worrying a bunch about El, he's resorted to only showing care for her because that's all he can do, causing him to close off from Will all-together bc simply caring for Will is also not something he can do, causing Will to think Mike doesn't even simply care for him.

I do think the end of s4, specifically the monologue, set up a really solid start to s5 and how all three of these arcs in the bizarre love triangle are going to each exist on their own, overlap and finally be resolved in a way that will be shockingly satisfying to a lot of fans, despite it being unexpected.

Thanks for the ask anon!

[positivelybeastly]

hi! I'm the anon who sent the icebeast playlist ask. It was actually nice to get some actual context on what's been going on with Bobby and Hank to get them to this point- I'm reading chronologically right now and I'm still in the 60s, (though I have read some more scattered modern runs here and there) so my knowledge is limited. I love both characters quite a lot but i can definitely see why you're upset on Hank's behalf in those interactions :( . I'm not gonna defend Bobby here, because while even with my limited knowledge I can piece together some reasons for why Bobby responded the way he did and fucked that conversation up, there's no justification and he definitely needs to make it up to Hank. Thanks again for the context, I really and truly love seeing nuanced takes on character dynamics and sometimes that nuance gets messy when it comes to looking at what actually happened in the text as opposed to what one might have preferred to happen.

Oh, hey, hello there!

First off, I want to say - if anyone has a meme prompt that they want to send in, like this playlist meme, but they don't have an RP blog, you're still good to send things in on Anon! That's what Anon is for, precisely because you, my Anonymous friend, sent in the playlist ask, and now it's opened up a whole conversation and people are learning more about comic book characters who, let's face it, have SO MUCH history. SO MUCH.

Being able to just get the highlights or even an attempt at a throughline makes such a difference, honestly - it gives you a coherent story where you can go, okay, I want to see more of THAT, and that's when you can just go, hey, where can I read more of this storyline or this writing style or this character. Comics are so much more legible and easy to break into when you can pick a character or a dynamic or a storyline, and just go from there. It's still a massive problem, all these years on, and Marvel and DC don't make it easy with their confusing numbering systems and constant retcons.

With that said . . . hoo, you're starting off in the 60s? I am. Kinda sorry, friend, that is a rough time, I can only do so much Lee/Kirby X-Men before I just start breaking out into hives. When you get into the early 70s, and especially when Claremont takes over, though, man, you're in for a treat!

And it's also - I feel like it's really important for me to state my biases, because I am biased. I love Hank. I write him a lot. I've read . . . probably the lion's share of his comics. He's kind of a personal inspiration, in some ways, and he was really influential to me when I was a kid due to various body related issues.

So I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, and I maybe tend to side with him by default, but that's usually why I include the panels when I talk about these things, so that you can see them and have your own take on it, so you can see why I came to that interpretation. There's nothing I hate more than comic book fans who will tell you how a storyline or a character goes, and their back-up for it is, that's the way I remember it, and then you go and read it and it's completely fuckin' different. Fucking annoys the piss out of me.

And I want people to feel like they can argue with me! I love talking about messy character dynamics, and character who fuck up and make bad choices, because that's how life is and how people are, that's how I am and how you are. Especially since I know what and why Hank was feeling in a particular moment, why he needed Bobby so much and Bobby let him down, but I don't know where that sits in Bobby's story. Maybe I'm being harsher on him than I should be, and I welcome that discussion, that's a conversation worth having!

If I wasn't open to interpretation of these characters by other people, I would solely write fanfic - and, to be fair, I do - but I mostly roleplay, because I love the windows into the soul. I love the moments when characters click or don't, because it reveals essential truths, it hits you in the gut, it's fucking satisfying, man.

And honestly, there's so much about Hank's story that I wish had gone differently. So many character dynamics that have fallen by the wayside, that made them better - remember when Hank and Emma used to be best friends? Yeah! That used to be a thing! So getting to play that out here, with friends and talented roleplayers and talented roleplayer friends (lbr, these three things are the same thing) is just a joy.

Thank you for the asks, friend!