#when it comes to socializing and it’s so cool that

[cosmosluckycharms]

Bug Like Angel

pt1

Lonesome Love

You're about a year old when you're dropped off at the manor by your mother, along with your birth certificate and important papers.

She never truly cared for you, so she just left. She couldn't care if she wanted to, she could barely afford you. You sometimes wonder how life would've been if she stayed and cared and hadn't dropped you off at your father's.

Bruce didn't believe he was your actual father, he thought it was someone trying to get money from him.

After some DNA tests, it was confirmed. You were his kid.

Ever since you were little, like most babies, you needed attention.

Unfortunately in a household like this, you believe you won't ever get what you want.

Your father, Bruce Wayne, never had time for you. Always on a mission.

You would try and come up to him and talk to him and try and get him to do stuff with you, like listening to music or anything, you wouldn't mind doing anything as long as it was with your father.

You tried to read fancy newspapers you didn't understand infront of Bruce to get his attention and make yourself look smarter than you are.

All he does is walk away

Tagging along behind him was Richard "Dick" Grayson. Who was supposed to be like an older brother to you.

You would always go up to him and show off, trying to look cool to him or talk to him in general.

It never really worked.

You joined gymnastics when you were 6 in the hopes of getting Dick to talk to you.

All he does is give you a "Good job birdie!" with a ruffle of your hair which you won't complain about since that's the most he's paid attention to you since you got here.

Alfred was the only one you saw and had actual conversations with. He wasn't around as often as he would like to, but he tried his best..!

You would try and join him in baking only for you to mess it up. You thought he would shoo you away but he taught you how to do it well! He wasn't always with you though, he had to go and help your father on his missions.

You feel like you shouldn't complain about the little to no amount of love. You could technically buy anything you wish for You can afford anything you want!

All the fancy clothes and all the toys you wanted! Even your room was huge!You try and stay positive through everything, everything gonna be fine.

When you were 7 years old, Jason Todd was brought into the manor.

You half expected him to brush you off like Dick and Bruce, but to your surprise, he interacted with you!

Despite the 4-year age difference, he and you were inseparable.

He read to you every night, he listened to whatever you said, even if it didn't make sense, he would play whatever with you, and he would even take you out for walks!

He told you all about his school and despite some of the complaints he had, you wanted to go to a real school so badly!

You wanted friends! You wanted to talk to others! After being homeschooled your whole life, you begged your father to please let you go to public school.

...He said no.

You were so sad! why won't he just let you go? After months and months of begging, he finally let you go to private school!

The uniform was itchy and stupid-looking and the people there were kinda rude but still! School!!

After a week or two, you were extremely popular due to your bubbly personality and your being a social butterfly!

You had so many friends, everyone at school liked you being high energy! You loved your elementary school! You were pretty smart too, you had passing grades without even trying! Even if it technically is just an addition...

You were popular with students and teachers! Everyone wanted to play tag with you and race you to the swings and hang on the monkey bars with you and-

Everything was just perfect!

Until it wasn't.

You were 9 when Jason Todd was killed by the Joker.

You sobbed when you realized he wasn't coming back. You hated the Joker. You couldn't understand why.

Why would he do that?whywhywhywhywhyehywhywhywhywhywhywhywh

You don't have anyone to help you. Sure your friends at school exist but they wouldn't understand, you're all children, and most of them have gone through similar things. They wouldnt care.

You cried and threw up so many times.

You just wanted your brother back.

You wanted him to read you a story one more time. To talk to you one more time. To play with him one more time. To see him one more time. justonemoretimepleasepleasepleaseplease

You stopped going to school for a while to mourn. It was 3 weeks before you came back.

You were 11 years old when a new robin was introduced

Tim Drake

You tried to talk to him, you did! It's just that he looked so mad whenever you tried to talk to him like you were interrupting even while just existing.

So you stopped. He made you so mad, what made him think he could just take over Jason's legacy?!

You both avoided each other like the plague. There isn't much to be said, other than how you wish you guys could get along.

You're 12 when Jason's back. He's now also avoiding you. You don't understand why. You guys were so close, what happened?

You didn't understand, you've tried so hard for all of them, so why couldn't they just see you for once?

You're done.

You can't do this anymore.

They took Damian in with open arms. Dick got close to him immediately. It feels like everywhere you look they're all together, as a family. You're so sad. You're so mad. You're so tired.

They never cared for you. You tried so hard for them. Perfect grades, multiple hobbies you hate besides one, but it's the one thing you can't get done correctly. Electric guitar.

You're done.

hi guys its me again this is highkey buns but like idk

idk when the next chapter is cominf out isigh BUTBUTBUT im still getting used to this so hi

[mecha-changeling]

I've done most of these in my current project.

Gold is worthless in Quiet Space, as is everything except time itself. Access to space and automation of labor kind of kill the concept of scarcity of goods entirely and well, that's it for economics as we know it. The Terran Protectorate's closest thing to a currency is a literal credit system that entitles you to X hours of the empire's industrial capacity.

I mean, time is fleeting...

Its a stellar Empire. Only one clock is 24 hour and it's Earth's. The odds of another planet having the same rotational speed is basically 0.

Again since most places in my setting are not on Earth and therefore axial tilts are different... and also most megastructures and space habs don't have seasons at all...

I've got a planet that rains diamonds. Okay sure I'm just borrowing it from reality but people can go there and do things.

Most planets have more than 1 moon, turns out.

One of the human Clann's homeorlds is a gas giant. It has rings. Several planets have orbital ring habitats, but I don't think that's what you meant.

I have this, but the world is uninhabitable without bleeding edge shield technology.

I've got the star roads. They're invisible, does that count? TLDR; they're a FTL system that pushes craft in them faster than light by using a spinoff of gravitational drive technology to sort of ripp off mass effect but instead of sling shots it's based on the US highway system.

The Runi use wood for some of their jewelry.

The Thymrai don't use anything for wedding band type signifiers of marriage. They use their words "We're one." or "I have my mate." and if you don't respect that they'll probably stab you because you're calling them a liar and that's fighting words in their culture.

The Glorin always make a new name from select syllables from both prior names when they wed. They're also nano-hiveminds with each individual having 3 bodies, so most of their scocial things are odd.

I have several robotic species which genuinely would not be able to grock the idea of bastardry. "But... they manufactured you. You are their creation. Circumstances are irrelevant."

Most of my aliens do not use binary sexes. Many of the monosex species don't have a concept of gender at all because WHY WOULD THEY?

The Glorin again. They discount other gods as gods because they know they're just extradimentional entities that live in hyperspace. Their god does not live in hyperspace and seems supernatural to other gods. She also dosn't do the normal god things, she shows up like your cool aunt coming back to town and will do things like make your whole species immune to cancer and call it a "bug fix".

Again, the Glorin's god. She's very lovecraftian in appearance unless she specifically takes on a humanoid form for whatever reason (but she'll complain the entire time about how painful it is to "scrunch up like this")

Given designer organisms are a thing for Terrans, I've got this one. Because many of them are reskined other critters! (I may work on this one later today)

Plot? You assume I worldbuild to tell a narrative? Lol! I'm that wierdo who worldbuilds as their main hobby and sometimes you get a story out of it because I got bored.

I've got this one. What? This is a science-fantasy setting. Not sci-fi. TLDR; you can get a journal that will tell you everything friends that have willingly touched the journal did yesterday. It resets every time you sleep and fills you in on the previous day with every reset. This is, in fact, communication. Its just not real time or intentional. Yes this thing can end friendships, but its popular with Terrans because Terran society is about authenticity in 4269 and if your best friend actually thinks you're lame you want to know so you can terminate the friendship and find someone else (also their whole family would shame them as being inauthentic is as big of a social taboo as incest is today).

Books don't exist anymore. All information you want is either a direct download to your brain, or a VR experience. So... Yeah I've got this covered. Its not even a "well I love old things, so I still read books!" type of deal. If you read a book someone would look at you with the same incredulity that you would look at someone trying to light their bong by rubbing two sticks together. You'd probably also alert Central to a mental health crisis.

Many species communicate by psionic or digital telepathy. But sign langauge dosn't exist outside of millitary applications anymore. Not because "screw deaf/mute people!" but because genetic engineering has eliminated those conditions entirly. No one is born with physical disadvantages anymore. And even if they were, they'd be able to have them removed for free any time after they turn 16 since medical technology can reshape your body howeaver you please and has hit the "IRL Korean MMO character creator" point of "no further development necessary". (Yes that is a cornerstone of Terran culture. Part of that "be authentic" deal is your expected to live in a body that is "you" rather than whatever you were born as.)

Most of my alien species are not omnivores.

Small fantasy worldbuilding elements you might want to think about:

A currency that isn’t gold-standard/having gold be as valuable as tin

A currency that runs entirely on a perishable resource, like cocoa beans

A clock that isn’t 24-hours

More or less than four seasons/seasons other than the ones we know

Fantastical weather patterns like irregular cloud formations, iridescent rain

Multiple moons/no moon

Planetary rings

A northern lights effect, but near the equator

Roads that aren’t brown or grey/black, like San Juan’s blue bricks

Jewelry beyond precious gems and metals

Marriage signifiers other than wedding bands

The husband taking the wife's name / newlyweds inventing a new surname upon marriage

No concept of virginity or bastardry

More than 2 genders/no concept of gender

Monotheism, but not creationism

Gods that don’t look like people

Domesticated pets that aren’t re-skinned dogs and cats

Some normalized supernatural element that has nothing to do with the plot

Magical communication that isn’t Fantasy Zoom

“Books” that aren’t bound or scrolls

A nonverbal means of communicating, like sign language

A race of people who are obligate carnivores/ vegetarians/ vegans/ pescatarians (not religious, biological imperative)

I’ve done about half of these myself in one WIP or another and a little detail here or there goes a long way in reminding the audience that this isn’t Kansas anymore.

[youngsadlesbian]

hi! i’ve been reading your works and they are so brilliant! one of ny fav authors in here! 🥹

i would like to request popular!wanda x popular!reader wherein they are known to be rivals when it comes to both academics and just, popularity and general. their parents are well-known and everyone assumes they despise eachother, because they feign to be so.

but they’re actually dating eachother. it’s just nice to see everyone worked up about them. and then one day, when wanda hears someone talking bad about reader, she reveals their relationship in the most affectionate way! 😆

thank you!

— 🍂

HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

pairing: wanda maximoff x reader

summary: for years, you and wanda maximoff have been rivals—battling for the top spot in academics, popularity, and everything in between. the entire school believes you despise each other, fueling the most talked-about feud in westview high history. but here’s the twist: you’re actually dating. and it's definitely fun keeping up with this lie.

a/n: thanks for the request and i'm sorry for any mistakes <3

word count: 956

warnings: fluff and kinda enemies to lovers.

Westview High had two reigning queens.

There was you—a household name, thanks to your influential parents and undeniable charm. Top of the class, president of multiple clubs, effortlessly cool. People either wanted to be you, date you, or just stay out of your way.

And then there was Wanda Maximoff.

Equally brilliant, equally popular, equally untouchable. Her mother was a renowned politician, her father a high-profile businessman. She dominated academics, ruled the social scene, and had a fan club that rivaled yours.

And the two of you?

You hated each other.

Or at least, that’s what everyone thought.

It was a feud so legendary that teachers sighed at the mention of your names. You were always neck and neck—fighting for valedictorian, student government president, even the coveted title of Homecoming Queen.

Students thrived off the drama.

Every eye-roll. Every sarcastic remark. Every competitive smirk in the hallways.

People ate it up.

Little did they know…

You were very much in love with Wanda Maximoff.

And had been for a while.

It started a year ago.

An accidental run-in at a party led to an argument that led to… well… a heated moment alone in an empty hallway.

One stolen kiss turned into another.

And another.

And suddenly, hating Wanda became loving her.

But the drama of your rivalry was too good to let go.

So, naturally, you both pretended to still hate each other.

It was perfect.

No one suspected a thing.

You’d exchange insults in class but secretly text each other under the table.

You’d have intense debates during school meetings and then make out in Wanda’s car afterward.

You were the ultimate power couple in disguise.

And you loved watching the school lose its mind over your “feud.”

\*/

Everything was going great—until one day, Wanda overheard something she did not like.

You had just walked into the school library, carrying your usual confidence. The rivalry was still going strong, and as per tradition, the minute you stepped inside, people started whispering.

Wanda sat at a table near the back, pretending to study, but her ears perked up when she heard two girls from the cheerleading squad whispering nearby.

"I don’t get why people like her so much," one of them muttered. "She’s so fake."

"Right?" the other scoffed. "Like, she just acts all perfect, but she’s probably super insecure. I bet she just uses her parents’ money to stay relevant."

Wanda’s blood boiled.

Excuse me?

Sure, she and you acted like enemies, but there was a big difference between playful rivalry and people actually talking down on you.

Wanda Maximoff had zero tolerance for anyone disrespecting her girlfriend.

And so, for the first time in a long time, she dropped the act.

"Excuse me," Wanda said, standing up.

The entire library froze.

Because Wanda never started public drama. That was your thing.

The cheerleaders looked startled. "Uh… hi, Wanda?"

Wanda’s voice was deadly calm. "I just wanted to make sure I heard you correctly."

The girls exchanged a look. "What—?"

"You think Y/N is fake?" Wanda raised an eyebrow. "That she only stays relevant because of her parents?"

You, still by the entrance, had no idea what was happening—until you noticed the way everyone suddenly turned to look at Wanda.

Oh no.

Wanda was doing something.

And that something was not planned.

You started walking toward her. "Wanda—"

She cut you off. "You know what’s funny?" Her voice was loud enough for everyone to hear. "You sit here, talking about Y/N, when you don’t even know her. Do you know how hard she works? How late she stays up studying? How much pressure she’s under?"

The girls gawked at her.

You?

You froze.

Because—

Was she—?

Wanda turned toward you, eyes burning with fury and something else entirely.

Affection.

Possession.

Love.

"You know what?" she continued, stepping toward you. "I’m tired of pretending."

And then—

In front of everyone—

She kissed you.

If you thought the school lost its mind over your rivalry—

This?

This was nuclear.

The library exploded.

People gasped.

Someone screamed.

A freshman fainted.

Your brain short-circuited.

And Wanda?

Wanda looked smug as hell.

She smirked against your lips before pulling back slightly, her voice teasing. "You gonna say something, baby?"

The whole school malfunctioned.

"Baby???"

Your enemies-to-lovers fantasy had just become the biggest scandal in Westview High history.

And honestly?

It was amazing.

\*/

The news spread like wildfire.

By lunchtime, your phones were blowing up.

"Is this a PR stunt???"

"HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING?"

"ARE WE IN A FANFICTION?"

Even your teachers looked shook.

But the best part?

The absolute best part?

You and Wanda just sat at your usual separate lunch tables—grinning at each other from across the cafeteria.

You took a sip of your drink.

She blew you a kiss.

Someone dropped their tray.

This was so much better than the rivalry.

Because now?

You were the school’s power couple.

And you loved every second of it.

By the end of the week, people adjusted.

The rivalry turned into an iconic romance.

Teachers sighed but secretly rooted for you.

The school paper ran a dramatic headline: "THE GREATEST LOVE STORY EVER TOLD?"

And you?

You walked down the halls hand-in-hand with Wanda Maximoff—owning it.

"You know," Wanda teased one day, leaning against your locker, "we could’ve just told people normally."

You smirked. "Where’s the fun in that?"

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "We are so dramatic."

"That’s why we work, babe."

And with that, you kissed her again—in front of everyone.

Because at the end of the day?

You and Wanda Maximoff weren’t just rivals.

You were legendary.

And now?

You were legendary together.

[ventique18]

Warning: a bit of a rant and more twst worship lol

Me: *glazes twst*

Someone: "well your point is invalid because this one specific character from an obscure game dresses in socially defined feminine clothes. Therefore joseimuke games in general are just as good as twst." (<- Referring to a game where there's literally just one crossdressing character)

Well good for him! 👍 Doesn't take away from the fact that Twisted Wonderland is one of the better games out there though, considering the majority of mainstream joseimuke and otome games out there that majority of the population plays-- ARE rigid when it comes to fashion expression.

Representation is important, yes, so it's very much appreciated for one such character to be present. But the thing is, twst takes it one step further by normalizing that most men in their universe don't assign gender to clothes and just wear whatever the fuck they want. I think that's more important than having one character as "unique" while everyone else is made from the same socially conforming mold.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. There are plenty of characters in twst that prefer to be traditional most of the time. But the good thing about that is that they will wear something outside of their usual preference when they need to. They don't find that weird.

And of course, there are also a lot of games out there as explorative as twst and that's great! Posts appreciating a game for doing something right while criticizing the genre in general just means that there're not enough titles that empower this idea. I think games are a good way to normalize the message that everyone should be allowed to wear what they want, and it's up to them, not society, to define beauty.

Men can be handsome and powerful while wearing makeup everyday; Vil and Malleus show us this. At the same time, you can be a woman who likes dresses but is stronger than anyone else, like how Maleanor presents herself. But that doesn't mean that women are required to pretty herself up; you can be a cool woman in a male dominated field, like Dylla Spade is.

Tldr while twst is not perfect, it's surprisingly excellent at breaking social norms and presenting how beautiful individual preferences are. There are other games good at this too, of course, but one look at popular games makes it obvious that we still have a long way to go. Twst being so open about this topic is a great step forward for the industry in general.

[imaginespazzi]

Alright so I slept on it, distracted myself and I have now cooled down considerably. Since I am no longer looking at the game through completely rage-filled glasses, I can vent coherent thoughts now.

LAYUPS

FUCKING LAYUPS

Listen losing games is always hard, but the sheer stupidity that lost us this game is hard to discern in words and really starts with layups. We make literally 3 more, and we would have won. The most simplest there is in basketball and we decided that we wanted to suck at it. And look you don't make every shot, of course you don't but HOW MANY FUCKING OPEN LAYUPS CAN A TEAM MISS?

Brief positive interlude, before I start yelling: KK ARNOLD I LOVE YOU. I am so proud of this girl. A true competitor from start to finish. Never fucking scared of the moment, always ready to do everything she can.

Aubrey Griffin is starting to look like herself again. She was so good last night and everything we're used to seeing. Just keep healing bbg, we're gonna need you real bad.

Sarah Strong, consistent queen as per always but she made that freshman mistake at the end and while it would be hypocritical not to acknowledge it, I really can't hold it against her because homegirl was the only starter locked in from start to finish and for some fucking reason we didn't go to her nearly enough in the second.

And now let's get to the venting

Jana El Alfy I cannot keep defending this. YOU ARE 6 FUCKING 5. Look I have had so much to say about her not getting the time she deserves but oh my fucking god, I don't know if I can defend this anymore. Missing easy ass layups, somehow letting people a feet shorter shoot over you like??? I cannot

Kaitlyn Chen girl what the fuck are you here for? Cardio. She pleasantly surprised for me exactly two games but nope, I was right the first time. There is absolutely no reason, other than a likely promise Geno made while recruiting her, for her to be starting over KK.

Ashlynn Shade, you are so lucky girlie that you play with Paige and Azzi and they also both had shitty as fuck nights that I will address in a second because girl, that's the only thing saving you from not being lashed out into oblivion on other social media sites right now. I have absolutely no idea she was ever in the game let alone how she was getting minutes over KK. Defense? Atrocious. Offense? MISSING WIDE OPEN LAYUPS AND THREES. No one pissed me off more this game than Ash because shit should've been easy for her and instead she missed every single chance she had.

Paige saw all those tweets manifesting her freshman year Tennessee performance by a bunch of people who don't know anything else about that game except for the magical shot at the end and voila, she performed exactly like that. Maybe worse. And don't worry friends, I'll be yelling at her coach in a second but the one thing I can't complain about today is that he didn't put the ball in her hands because he did and we saw it in the assists but she didn't play up to the mark at all. And for as much as her performance was a classic case of shots not falling, her shot selection was uncharacteristically bad last night.

Y'all know that look Paige talks about when it comes to Azzi? The soft one? I saw that look on her face immediately as soon as her first shot didn't go in. And I knew it especially when KC was wide open under the basket and Azzi somehow missed her, that she was most definitely in her head. But the worst thing is, that I actually think she almost got back in rhythm, almost got rid of that look, almost got out of her head, by the end of the 2nd with the sequence of FTs > deflection > 3 and then all of that went to shit because she picked up those two quick fouls. And then she never got back into it again, partially because of her own self, partially because this team still isn't doing enough to screen for her/run plays for her and partially because her coach was doing the most ridiculous subbing routine with her. Making her play the third with 3 fouls, then she finally hits a 3 at the end AND THAT'S WHEN HE BENCHES HER? Keeps her out of the game in first 5 minutes of the 4th, lets her lose any semblance of rhythm and then subs her in? I don't even know what to say.

Geno Auriemma WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU

This man had the audacity to sit in the press conference and blame every fucking thing on Paige when he, our hall of fucking fame coach, made the most costly mistake of this whole game with that dumb as fuck timeout. STUPID STUPID STUPID

And then of course the lineups and substitutions, ridiculous shit.

SIGH

The worst thing is, I don't think Tennessee beat us last night. We broke the press. We held them to 7-28 from 3. The boxscore has us beating them in so many places but at the end, we beat ourselves.

And it all comes down to the fact that maybe we just don't have the mentality.

Last night really drained a lot of optimism from me but these are my girls and the potential is infinite. I'm always gonna be rooting for them and little itty bitty hopeful part of me will always think we can win it all but I think, we're gonna need a lot of things to just miraculously go right.

[sohkrates]

The "Get Loud" TTRPG Bundle

About a month ago Charlie Hall, editor of tabletop games over at Polygon wrote an odd opinion piece. The gist of it was that since Wizards of the Coast is fumbling the bag with the release of the new edition of Dungeons & Dragons, now would be a great time for indie TTRPG makers to step up.

Above all, I feel it is imperative that indie designers realize that their window is rapidly closing. Rather than sitting in their own little corners of the internet and wringing their hands, creatives who want to thrive in the TTRPG space need to come together and fight for the recognition that they deserve. The dragon is knocked out for now, but it won’t be at rest forever. Only by building out a solid party, filled with individual contributors each possessing powerful skills, can they hope to one day face that dragon — or at least earn a place in the lair beside them.

This pissed off a lot of people. Including me. We aren't wringing our fucking hands out here, Chuck. We are loud about our games every hour of the goddamn day, and each time we encourage big media outlets like you to help, we see you wringing your hands about reader retention and clicks and all that horseshit.

We are not the cowards in this arrangement.

So as is my habit these days, I did some organizing about it.

I went through my list of games I've bought off itch and found my favourites, and my favourite designers. I contacted the ones I could (some of them didn't respond, said no, or I couldn't find ways to contact them) and put them together in a bundle. My friend Em did some art. I launched it on the 1st of February.

So far it has raised over $6,000. That's about $300 for each designer, depending on how they divvy up their cuts to itch, taxes, etc. That's money in the hands of indie TTRPG makers who aren't Wizards of the Coast. That's people being able to pay their bills and keep making games.

And not to mention it's 36 of my favourite games and 20 of my favourite game makers all in one place for the low low price of $20.

Being an indie creator is hard and thankless. We make things because we cannot help but be artists, and we are met largely with silence. We are expected to compete with companies who pay salaries to public relations people, who have marketing budgets and teams of artists, when all we have is a social media account, a mailing list, and the occasional crowdfunding campaign. 

We are not saved by these companies, but by other small indie groups. By sites like Rascal who make game announcements easy, and the people who make YouTube channels and podcasts who play and read our games and let their fans know we exist. We are saved by people, not companies.

So if you buy the bundle, if you post about it on social media, or your work’s Slack channel, or write the link on the wall of the bathroom in that cool queer dive bar you like, thank you.

We can’t keep doing this without you. 

[myrmica]

Heyy could we talk about the final scene at the end of season 4 with vitalasy asking the players if they had fun and to forget all their sufferings with each other and mapicc's whole "good job coming in second" thing because no one talks about and I feel like there's something to say about that moment simply because it's clear that no one wants to talk about it. During spokes livestream after the wormhole video was released where he explained a couple things the only thing he had to say about this moment was that it was "weird" and I agree it was weird but idk how to put it all into words and you're really amazing at articulating yourself so I'm just wondering what you thought of this moment? Especially after you pointed out that spoke refused to mention the whole vitalasy arc thing during his wormhole video.

YES!!!!! YES! I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO MUCH. i have talked about it before, but it was in the replies to a post so i doubt anyone really saw that. you can go read the full exchange if you want but here's the meat of what i said there, lightly edited for clarity:

it's like… how can you Not resonate with zam if you're sitting there watching all of that. you're squarely in zam's head, while vitalasy is much harder to access, more obfuscated from the viewer, has less pov time. AND zam is actively misrepresenting him to you while you're trying to understand him. hmm… it's like, zam and vitalasy are the two most socially otherized figures in s4. and zam takes a lot of things out on vitalasy, turns the way people treated him back against vitalasy. and he does it in a way where he positions himself as "victim" and vitalasy as "aggressor," it says so much to me that when zam is legitimately victimized earlier in the season everyone calls him a freak for reacting to it, acts like it's his fault, mocks him. but here, when zam instead victimizes vitalasy, he's socially rewarded for it. everyone else mocks vitalasy With him. and in the end, despite wormhole being zam's lowest point by far, he's the one standing together with the rest of the server while vitalasy and subz are singled out on the other side of the circle, alone. vitalasy stands there and goes (in effect) (paraphrasing/expounding here) "i'm happy with this conclusion. i got what i wanted. it's good for me that spoke took the frontman role, played the villain when i couldn't, because i didn't want to be what spoke is." and nobody LISTENS to that, they all just keep making fun of him, saying things like "he's just going to cry about subz," going "too bad you came in second!" when he is explicitly stating that this was what he wanted! acting like his methods are inherently lesser, like he's this duplicitous person, but what SPOKE did was COOL. so it's not about the exploits, is it? it's about vitalasy. it's about vitalasy being the target zam takes all of his anger out on, the thing that allows zam to access a kind of social acceptance by distancing himself from and rejecting what vitalasy is/represents. “not letting him be true to himself because the only cool thing is violence” is really what it comes down to. this is why it's so crazy to me that eclipse was pretty much textually a romantic relationship, in a world where the only way two people can touch each other is through violence. you can say "we all sleep in the same bed," but you can't Do that, you're limited by what the game represents. if you want it to represent other things, you have to start playing pretend about it. that's always true of minecraft, but it's particularly acute on a pvp server populated primarily by teenage boys. zam being afraid of this relationship where vitalasy is trying to talk things out and compromise with him and so retreating back into violence, trying to goad vitalasy into violence, putting it back on lifesteal terms, is inextricable from his problems with the exploits rendering lifesteal's "natural" form of gameplay obsolete.

^ now you might notice that this is a pretty emotionally intense reaction. I had just finished rewatching s4 and got awfully vitalasybrained about the whole thing. which was a markedly different experience from the first time i watched s4, and found zam’s perspective much easier to access, thus taking much of her view of the world as the truth. I stand by my points here for the most part, but there’s still more to say about it.

some of that is all the stuff i get into in that last post, about the differences between spoke and vitalasy, how they play off of each other/use each other to their own ends in s4, and how zam's function as a camera is just as responsible for the position vitalasy ends up in as zam is on any direct interpersonal level. you have… many layers… of things people don’t want to talk about…. don’t know how to talk about… or, don’t want to present as part of their curated narratives.

it’s taken me forever to post this ask (it was sent on jan 10th) because i have found it impossible to come up with a concise answer. there is a lot going on here. let’s start by looking at that scene itself, The Lifesteal SMP Grand Finale, 5:58:24 - 6:15:00:

[spoke jumps in the void and /ops vitalasy.] Mapicc: Spoke, we kinda need you man. We might need you now.  Leo: I don't know about this anymore. I liked it when Spoke was flying, not Vitalasy. [vitalasy /kills everyone, attempting to bring everyone to spawn. no one understands what he’s doing.] Mapicc: Guys, everybody leave the server, don't give Vitalasy, uhh–any satisfaction. (...) Mapicc: Did we really just let Vitalasy end it? Zam: Yeah, I'm not okay with that. (...) Mapicc: Spoke just dm'd me. He said "Vitalasy and Ash have begged me for months to give them the same power. They had equal part in the creation of the exploit, and I just had better timing than them. Let's just hope they do the best with what they have." Zam: So Vitalasy and Ash both have op now. We have nothing 'cause all our items came from Spoke, so. Also, all our echests were cleared, so. I think we're more than fucked if we stay. Mapicc: You know what's crazy? At the end of the day, after all the shit Spoke talks, he still trusted Vitalasy more than us. Zam: I–that's a good point. Yeah, 'cause–that–wow. That hurts. Yeah. He–wow. Mapicc: Mhm.

note the way spoke phrases this message. vitalasy failed to do what spoke did, and then he begged spoke for that same power. this particular wording will be repeated.

a question is also raised in this exchange: it is ostensibly true that spoke trusted vitalasy more than he trusted zam and mapicc, but can it really be said that spoke trusted vitalasy? how much did spoke trust vitalasy? what does trust even mean here? we know that parrot is the only person spoke truly prioritizes in season 4; parrot opposes spoke, but he is collaborated with. vitalasy collaborates with spoke, but…

Zam: We didn't even get a screenie with like, everyone by the void!

in the ensuing chaos, vitalasy interrupts what everyone thought was the server’s final moment. everyone just wants this whole thing to be over, zam especially wants this whole thing to be over. i don’t think there’s anything vitalasy could have done at this point that would have landed. spoke hung onto his power until this last possible moment, /op-ing vitalasy only when there was nothing left to be done. If vitalasy was trying to usurp or upstage spoke, he would have been thoroughly defeated by this.

Zam: [reading a chat message] Vitalasy, mr. "I don't want to be god" Yeah, what the fuck. That's such a switch up, this entire time he's been begging for power? That's crazy. [spoke logs back on and tells everyone to join live 4. he organizes this little meeting, says “let’s give subz and vitalasy space to give their thoughts.”]

and spoke’s continued presence here is fascinating. that moment where he jumps in the void feels like it should be an ending, passing the baton to vitalasy, but that isn’t what he does. he hovers, directing the conversation. that isn’t how you handle this if you trust him. but it isn’t just that; there’s nothing left for spoke to lose, it’s all over. so he must want to hear whatever it is he thinks vitalasy has to say. 

Vitalasy: Hey guys. How's it going. How'd you like it? Was it a little thrilling, I hope? Zam: Like what? Vitalasy: The end of the season? Zam: [unenthused] It was a... crazy fight. Pretty cool. Vitalasy: Did you have fun? Zam: I'd go far enough to say so, yeah. Vitalasy: Awesome. Then I couldn't have asked for more, actually. [Zam does the thing where you zoom in on your own face in F5, looking into the camera.] Zam: Mhm. Vitalasy: I mean as Spoke said, we've been kinda orchestrating the season. Um, from the very beginning. Since the very first day, we've had access to such items, or such exploits–if you guys have any questions we're down to answer them, now that the uh, season's over and stuff. Umm. Spoke: Yo, can we like, all meet up somewhere? [Spoke teleports all of the Lifesteal members to the swamp outside of spawn.] Spoke: I wanna hear the master plan again. Zam: Oh god. Mapicc: There is no master plan. Spoke: Let's hear it, let's hear it again. Vitalasy: What–I don't know what master plan you're talking about. Mapicc: Yeah, 'cause you didn't have one. Zam: What's going on, yeah, I'm confused. Vitalasy: I just wanted everyone to have fun on the server. I missed the good old–I still do. I think–[interrupted by clutch still being banned] Spoke: Alright, keep talking, keep talking. Keep the talk. Vitalasy: I–I don't have much to say besides, I really hope you all had fun. That–that's it. That's what this game's for, that's why we play on the server. We can stop crying, moping, coping over each other. [Zam looks into the camera again.] Mapicc: You do that harder than anyone. [there's a weird, awkward silence.] Spoke: So, the console just de-opped both of you. Vitalasy: Hm? Mapicc: Parrot's on. Before he turns the server off, or does something drastic, good–[interrupted by Clutch]–shut the fuck up–oh yeah okay, you guys go. Zam: No, let Mapicc talk. Please let Mapicc talk. Please. Mapicc: Before Parrot turns off the server, or does whatever, 'cause he just got de-opped from console, good job coming in second, Vitalasy. I hope you're really glad. Vitalasy: What do you mean? Spoke: Oh my god bro. Zam: That was deep. That was deep. Mapicc: You're talking, you keep saying "we." Like you've really accomplished anything here. You turned people against each other and you go "hey guys! I really hope you had fun!" as if you planned all of this. Spoke did everything! You–you had to beg him for operator.

vitalasy showing up at the end here is pure anti-climax, of course nobody is fucking with it. and he’s kind of turning the anti-climax into the point, about how all of this only matters because they behave as if it matters, how the game itself doesn’t matter, but the people you’re playing it with do. except everyone he’s playing with is mad at him (barring itzsubz, who might be mad at princezam.) It is in fact patently absurd to walk up to a bunch of people who have spent the past several months loudly not having fun and go, i hope you had fun!

some of them probably did have fun with wormhole. but they’re counting that as spoke’s victory, something vitalasy had nothing to do with, so they’re mad at him for acting like he did. spoke’s word choice pops up again.

and then vitalasy does this, which is even funnier, because it reinforces the angle mapicc is taking here, even though it’s the wrong angle:

Vitalasy: Like I wasn't the one who gave it to him? Spoke: WOAH! WHAT THE FUCK! [continues shouting, incomprehensibly] Vitalasy: Alright buddy, calm down, calm down. From the beginning, from the beginning. Spoke: Yeah, you wanna rephrase that? Mapicc: HOW OLD ARE YOU GUYS?

this is the thing with vitalasy. he doesn’t want to do what spoke did, but he does want recognition.

Zam: I don't get this, what the hell? Mapicc: You know where humanity would be if gods acted like this, bro? How are you guys gonna call yourselves gods, you're morons. All of you. Well, except for Zam. Zam has a brain.

(funniest mapicc quote of all time. ZAM HAS A BRAIN?)

Spoke: I wanna say–I want a verbal apology, whenever, after you explain the plan. Vitalasy: No, I mean, we've been working together from the start of it, we've always been talking, no matter what side we've been on. Clutch: But how come it felt like you were in the background of it? Vitalasy: I–I don't wanna take the front and center. I don't like doing the whole–  Mapicc: [so much crosstalk happening] You weren't front and center, Vitalasy. Vitalasy: Hm? Mapicc: You–You're not... you're nowhere near as calm and collected as you say you are. Clutch: But, what did you mean by "we would all be okay?" When I called you earlier today? Vitalasy: That's for later. Clutch: LATER WHEN? WHAT? Zam: What does that mean. What does that mean. What later? WHAT LATER? Clutch: THE SERVER'S DONE. Vitalasy: Yeah. Zam: What do you mean? What? Mapicc: He doesn't know what to say. He didn't have this planned out Zam: I feel like, yeah, I feel like you just missed everything and now you're trying to like, pull something. I don't know. Clutch: You just came in and /killed all of us, and just–  Vitalasy: I was just trying to bring us back to spawn here, but. Mapicc: I think arguing is pointless. I just wanna say again, Vitalasy, good job coming in second. 'Cause if–that's what you accomplished. Vitalasy: To what? Mapicc: To Spoke! To everybody! At the end of the day, you have never been in first place, Vitalasy. Vitalasy: Why do I need to be? Mapicc: And I think it's starting to get to you. I don't think you need to be, 'cause you clearly aren't. I think you want to be, and I don't think it's gonna happen. So, go ahead and explain to us your plan, but at the end, Spoke is what–Spoke is what actually made change.

he’s fine with the role he played in comparison to spoke for a number of reasons, and one of them is the fact that he will get his video in the end regardless of all of this; whether or not you win at lifesteal doesn’t really matter if the story you’ve decided to tell is about the glitch itself more than it is about lifesteal.

but his scheme was also never something that disregarded lifesteal, even if that was how it felt to everyone else. we know that vitalasy tried to be careful in his execution of the whole thing, to keep things from being revealed too early and destroying the stakes, wanted it to be fun for the players. he isn’t without blame in things playing out the way they did, but comparing vitalasy’s side of the story with spoke’s, it really looks like spoke was actively lying to vitalasy as he went against that part of his plan.

when vitalasy initially takes the “breaking the cycle” angle with zam, it’s a combination character move and attempt at damage control (the prison was never meant to be bedrock), not something that reflects his true motivations. vitalasy wanted the game to continue; vitalasy did all of this in the first place in large part because he was trying to fix it, to re-balance it. but those attempts fail, and he is effectively pushed out of the game, reaching a point where his only real option is to ban himself because nobody is playing with him anymore. 

despite all of this, in This Exploit changed Minecraft HISTORY... vitalasy glosses over any and all possible tensions between himself and spoke: 

Vitalasy: Project Wormhole officially began on January 21st 2023. Our mission: use the exploit to increase server activity and fun. We’d accomplish this in three ways: firstly, for the next five months, we’d use the exploit to keep balance on the server, as the reason people stopped playing was because of the mass disparity between powerful and weak players. Secondly, we’d use the exploit to give players a genuine feeling of having fun playing the game. And finally, we’d create a mystery on the server, hinting at a doomsday in which we would finally destroy the server in order to prove to Mojang that this glitch had catastrophic abilities.

It’s always, “we,” “our plan,” presenting the exploiters as a united front. what stands out most about this is that he, personally, would probably look better if he pinned it all on spoke, or ash for that matter. you have a scapegoat for everything going wrong, he’s right there! you could try to absolve yourself. you could at least frame it the way spoke frames you? but in the video, things only start going wrong when 3ht finds the vault, an outside party to the exploiters as a team. he highlights the use of replay, and glosses over the actual reasons 3ht went looking; not because they were engaging with vitalasy’s game as he intended it, solving the mystery he laid out, but because they wanted to prove that he was lying to zam. of course, the tradeoff for not throwing spoke under the bus is getting to claim spoke’s successes as his own successes. and for all intents and purposes, they are.

Vitalasy: Everything was going perfectly as planned. Every day we were revealing new items or mobs to the server. And every day, the players would log on to see what was new. (...) But just when we thought our plan was secured, on March 27th, a player named PlanetLord was looking to solve the mystery of where these items were coming from. While searching for answers, he used a mod that basically lets you X-ray, and found one of the barrel stashes in which Project Wormhole was supplying from.

when he presents his own goals as shared goals, that includes his intention to patch the glitch, even though spoke didn’t know that was his ultimate goal. something he does tell zam, the one who was supposed to stay in the dark about this whole thing until the end–a fact that complicates the trust question. vitalasy, spoke, and ash were all using the exploit to completely different ends. spoke and ash’s individual goals align much better with one another than either does with vitalasy’s interests. for ash’s part, he seems to be a pure opportunist in all of this. he ends his video with the events of early february and barely mentions the wormhole proper; all he wants is the power to get a little revenge and carry out his ego trip, so it makes sense that he isn’t bothered about getting /op in the end, or interested in competing with spoke.

you have spoke’s plan, the heavy lifting involved in manipulating parrot–we know vitalasy was involved in the planning, we’re shown footage of them discussing it in calls together, testing the sign that will change the time of day and secretly pull a /gamemode, etc. vitalasy isn’t the one executing any of this but he has a vested interest in spoke’s success, since all of his plans rest on it. you have vitalasy’s plan which, aside from the part spoke wasn’t aware of, is interested in the presentation of it all; how am i telling this story? how do we reveal things over time in a way that keeps the other players invested? we get very little information on spoke’s involvement in any of this, and it would be fair to assume these things weren’t his priority. spoke cared about balancing things during wormhole, but did he care before that? vitalasy still refers to it as “our” plan even when he does acknowledge that spoke and ash went against it, but does that reflect them actually being on the same page? something tells me they weren't. If it’s true that the balancing aspects of vitalasy’s plan largely came into play post-dupe-war, in response to dupe-war, spoke must have been committed to his own plan and his own set of priorities before vitalasy laid all of this out.

details aside, not knowing that vitalasy had an ulterior motive explains why spoke wouldn’t consider that vitalasy honestly wanted him to be the frontman, even though vitalasy explicitly told him as much; why do all of this, if you didn’t want something more? he just incorrectly assumes what it is vitalasy wants.

Vitalasy: I'm... confused. You support Spoke? Spoke's plan? Zam: Yes. Yeah, that's–like, yeah. Vitalasy: Cool. I'm fine with that–  LifestealAdmin: Yo guys, can I get a word? Zam: What's up LifestealAdmin, please say whatever you want. Please, feel free. LifestealAdmin: So, uh... [bans Vitalasy and Subz] I just banned them. [everyone laughs, and applauds] Mapicc: Vitalasy, good job coming in third! Spoke: Hold on, hold on, hold on, actually–actually hold on. Let's unban Vitalasy, let's unban Subz. I actually don't want beef. I actually don't want beef. (...) Okay, I don't want beef, so I wanna hear, what–what is the–what is like, the last thing you wanna do before the server moves on to season 5. Because obviously like, I don't–I don't know, like, Parrot doesn't typically like, /op the server. Mapicc: Spoke, I want you to close the wormhole. Zam: Oh yeah true, can you get rid of everyone? Yeah. Spoke: Hey, I kinda said like, uhh, 11:59 was the end of the civilization event. Mapicc: Spoke, I want you to close the wormhole. Me and Zam joined you for one reason and one reason only, and that was for people to lose the ability to play. If there is a bunch of people on right now, it is completely against what me and–  Vitalasy: Bruh, that was literally what I was doing. Spoke: I have a–okay, I can /ban @a... yeah, that could work. Vitalasy: Dog, I was literally banning all the new players. Spoke: Yeah, okay, my bad. [Spoke bans all of the new players, and Subz and Vitalasy, and LifestealAdmin.] Spoke: Whoopsies. LifestealAdmin, I'm so sorry. [he unbans them.] Spoke: Okay, final–final plan. Vitalasy, Subz. I–I just wanna hear it. Because, I think–uh, from my perspective–from my perspective of all of this, like, we both had an equal hand in discovering, like, the exploit. I mean, we've joined calls with the–the literal, like, creator of it, that has spent the past like, two years of their life like, learning about it, exploring it. And, I mean, we pushed the boundaries of it together. We took it from what was once just a little like–like, chat visual glitch, to an actual like, physical, game breaking glitch. And, I mean, I can–like–I can't thank you enough for that. But, I knew when I first found it–I–and when I first learned the possibilities of it, that only one could get op. Vitalasy: Yep. Spoke: Now, with that being said, I wanna hear your final goal with all of this.

let’s pivot for a second. here’s exactly what spoke has to say about this scene in complete wormhole breakdown, 57:40 - 1:02:10:

Spoke: The two things I have not explained so far is, the dynamics between the rest of the players, and Vitalasy and Subz. And Ashswag. Now I also removed this from the final cut, but this was originally going to be a major plot point in the video, and I still actually don't know the full truth of it, and that's why I removed it, because I still don't understand the full reality of it. Spoke:  But, I am honestly under the assumption that Vitalasy was working with Parrot in the finale. That may sound like a crazy conspiracy, and it probably is, 'cause I don't think he actually did, but I fully believed he did. (...) Yeah, I fully believed that–[reading a chat message] I mean Parrot asked Vitalasy to help? YES! YEAH, I REMEMBERED–yeah, okay, yeah. I also–so, during, when I first got op, like the days after, Vitalasy was constantly messaging me to also get op. And now, I’ll give him credit, like, Vitalasy was the reason why I even found the exploit in the first place, and was the person who got me in contact with Silicat, but the reason why I didn’t give him op, and I told him like, oh it’s just like a safety hazard you know, like I’ll make sure to give you guys op in the very end, like, that’s what I told him, and I told Ash the same thing, but Ash was more like, he was like “okay, I get that.” He’s like, “as long as you can give me the force, like, wands i’m fine with that.” So, Ash was really chill.  Spoke: But Vitalasy on the other hand–Vitalasy, because he, I also didn’t say this, but in May 1st, Parrot reveals to me that Vitalasy did, um, help him with the ban thing. And Vitalasy never told me about it! Vitalasy never told me that Parrot and him were like, working together. And when Parrot told me about this, I assumed it was just used to like, to convince me to stop working with them, but that’s where I realized later that, Parrot and Vitalasy were probably in cahoots. They were probably–what was probably happening was, Parrot was trying to get Vitalasy to get op, so that then I’d show him to like, the control room, he can see all my repeating command blocks, and then once he can remove all of that, he could take me off the server. And… I knew /op-ing vitalasy would probably be the one way I would get defeated. So, that’s why Vitalasy never got op, and there was a lot more points, especially after the vault was found, where I was definitely consider–considering leaving the team entirely, to focus on May 1st myself. But I knew if I left the team, then the exploit would get out there, Vitalasy–or, Parrot would learn the truth, and then it would just… not work. (...) Spoke: This was also where I /opped Vitalasy and like, Subz and Ash. But… I wasn’t really… I don’t even wanna talk about this. I’m kinda tired, I don’t really wanna talk about this. ‘Cause then, they started just like killing everybody and banning people and then this final convo happens where they… uh, I dunno. It’s weird. It’s a little–it’s weird. I don’t really like this. I–I even messaged Parrot to hop on LifestealAdmin and ban them. And he proceeded to do that and it was really funny.

so, what was spoke expecting in this moment? what did he want vitalasy to say? presumably, he was looking for a reveal. he wanted to be proven right, that he shouldn’t have trusted vitalasy, that it was never collaboration. the exploit is like a loaded gun on the table, neither spoke nor vitalasy can take the other out of the picture without destroying the chance to see their respective projects through, only vitalasy needs spoke, and past a certain point spoke really doesn’t need vitalasy (though again, where might he have been without someone else to take the fall?). but spoke correctly guesses that vitalasy isn't telling him everything, and he doesn’t understand that vitalasy requires his success in order to succeed himself, so he plays against him. you could in turn say that spoke is the one being played, but that’s the wrong way to look at it, we’ve been thinking on spoke’s terms here. vitalasy presents them as a united front.

Vitalasy: I mean, as I gained the powers more and more, from you, and from the barrels, and all that, I realized it's... not that fun. To have it all. To have /op? To have everything? There's no difference. It doesn't–it doesn't make the game any more fun, and– 

of course spoke has no idea what to do with this. "I don’t really like this. It was weird." yeah, i bet it was weird, mr. "and that feeling... was pretty cool." 

and it still leaves the question, if it isn’t fun, why did you want it so bad? for this? to make a point? to prove something to yourself, to try to prove something about yourself to everyone else? …to prove that you’re better than i am?

in this regard, vitalasy is a fundamental threat to his power. not just being–in spoke’s own words–the only thing that could have defeated him in the end, if he did get op and choose to use it against him, but–assuming his fears were unfounded–in the fact that spoke was wrong to consider vitalasy a threat. that vitalasy only earnestly wanted him to succeed, was really only playing at opposing him. that at the end of the day, vitalasy wanted something different from what spoke wanted. 

an extrapolation: you are working with him but you know, in the back of your mind, that you have to beat him to the finish line. you reveal the exploits earlier than he wants, knowing it will lessen his chances and aid your own. In the end, you discover that it was never even a race.

Zam: So why'd you do it?  Vitalasy: I never wanted, I never wanted to be the one to take down the server, to be the tyrant, or any of that.

this is where vitalasy fails to fully articulate himself. he dodges zam’s question entirely. how do you gain enough of that power to realize you didn’t want it, if you never wanted it in the first place? i think we’re all familiar with the defense mechanism which supposes a realization as having happened sooner than it really did, allowing you to have never been wrong in the first place. he’s a little more forthcoming in Season 4 Is Over!, 31:00:

Vitalasy: I realized like, a few things this season. One thing is like, I learned a bunch about myself. Like, and who I want to be for future seasons. Another thing was like, I remember end of season 3, I was like "oh my god, I've never been the bad guy. I've never like, tasted the feeling of being a villain. And... once we had exploits, and had everything, all the power in the world, it... it just felt like nothing. Hah. And I mean, luckily Spoke is the one to take it to the extreme. But you and I stayed pretty chill on this, and–  Subz: We did have every opportunity ever to do exactly what Spoke did. Vitalasy: Yeah, we literally had access to the same exact items to get operator as well, so like. Subz: Yep. Vitalasy: I don't know. That just says something to myself, about who I am. Like, I can't believe I did that. If I told myself like a year ago, in season 4 you're gonna get op, you're gonna have the ability to get op? I would have taken it and gone crazy. But here we are. Like, barely used it, up until the very end.  Subz: I guess we just don't like exploits. We're just anti-exploiters. Vitalasy: Nah–no, no, I think–I wanted–I always had the idea of like, only use exploits if other people are using a worse exploit, basically. And it's funny, I think I told you this, like... they, Baconwaffles–like, Solar Union, um... and the entire server was mad at us and targeted us for having an exploit. Even though we were using that exploit to defend ourselves, against larger exploits to come. Yet, here we are with the larger exploits. And because I–we had gotten rid of so much of it, we weren't able to help as much. Subz: It was too late. Vitalasy: I just think it's ironic, and it's–ahh... lesson learned, I guess. Subz: Lesson learned.

here vitalasy admits that he did set out to be the “tyrant.” he wanted to know how it felt, and he got his answer. everyone knows that he did, intuitively, because it was obvious–and he had (obliquely) admitted the same to zam, before.

but that still isn’t a complete explanation. during wormhole, vitalasy is still suffering from the strange results of his attempt to split his in-game and out-of-game motives down the middle. It allows him to say completely contradictory things–i set out to be the bad guy, but i was only ever using the exploits for good, in self defense!–and mean them on some level, even though to everyone else it reads as nothing but lies–but if this is all he has to offer in the end, what were the lies in service to? why did he do all of this? and he still can’t explain it even if he wanted to, because the video he did it all for isn’t out yet. he’s still trapped in the web of stupid problems he’s created for himself even as he’s trying to explain how much he learned from said problems, and how different it’s made him.

everyone involved understands, on some level, that whatever vitalasy was trying to do has already fallen apart, but he’s standing here acting like he’s won something. they don’t understand how spoke’s victory can also be his victory. they are misidentifying what it is that has failed, and they’re missing the fact that, though he could have never known going in, he needed it to fail more than he needed it to succeed. that this is a victory of its own.

while everything is still going to plan, spoke’s role as the one orchestrating the wormhole makes it possible for vitalasy to play a character who will fight against it, and once everything starts falling apart, spoke’s presence is what allows him to step back and ban himself and get excited for the wormhole despite it all. this means that even before he’s experienced the full consequences of having set himself up to play the villain and failing to follow through, he still tends towards framing himself as somehow justified/right/good. It’s just that it changes over time from something he thinks is serving a dramatic reveal into something he needs to be the truth. i don’t know how vitalasy expected the server to react to him, or to his character, or to the revelation of his character as a construct–we know he wanted it to be fun, wanted things to unfold in such a way where the spirit of the game remained intact, but the original trajectory of it all makes him look so much worse than his failures do; lying to zam the entire time, knowing that zam might betray in the end and stringing her along anyway. 

the way vitalasy describes it in that behind the scenes video, he’s describing the videos he wanted to make. in phase 5, in my video, i’ll explain everything. but when do the other players find out? would this moment, the end of the wormhole, have been that reveal for them? look, i had all of this power and i only used it for good. but now there’s nothing left to reveal. you gave it all away, and all that’s left is yourself.

vitalasy was already placed in a position where there was nothing he could do to convince anyone of anything, for reasons largely beyond anyone’s control. if he could have just committed to playing the villain, it might have fixed everything. It would have given the bedrock prison a purpose, at least. but he couldn’t, because it would require compromising his own needs. and even if he had, they still would have been mad at him–there was no winning. If there was no spoke figure there to keep the plan in motion, if it was just vitalasy, things would have been much worse. vitalasy would have been infinitely more trapped in that position and if he had still refused it, there would have been no finale to deliver some sort of payoff.

as such, spoke and ash revealing everything too early is the pivot point that simultaneously destroys everything and saves vitalasy, in a weird way. It forces him to be honest with zam, to have to try and make it work anyway. to be himself, instead of maintaining the character split. It makes sense that vitalasy isn’t mad about it. it had to happen. the trajectory he was on wasn’t working.

season 4 is lifesteal as a system working against itself. they're being held hostage by the audience, by the secrets that have to be kept from the audience, and by the fact that they are people trying to function on narrative rules. some of them are manipulating each other for real; some of them are backpedaling on that trajectory hard and not being believed, because of the true potential to be manipulated for real. no one can explain anything to each other, there’s no pre-negotiation, no trust, no one can ask for what they want. you might hope that, having reached the final moment of it all, this would stop being true. but it doesn’t. no one is able to articulate it. they just keep on talking past each other. vitalasy tries to articulate it, but he can’t get all the way there.

[LifestealAdmin whispers to Zam: I'm having a LOT of fun!!!! :) x4] Vitalasy: Anyways, I'm very glad that I could be, you know–that you could have taken that role for me. [silence, for a moment.] Mapicc: That said, what is the plan? Vitalasy: Ummm, Minecraft? Clutch: Let's have a minecraft party! Vitalasy: You guys can move on to the new server if you want, but personally? I'd just like to go fishing with my friends. There doesn't need to be some big ending, why don't we just play? How we want to play? Mapicc: Because it's already way far past fishing peacefully in Minecraft right now. Look around you. Zam: I don't–yeah, no, this place is so messed up. I don't know how you could try to stay here.  Vitalasy: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. You guys can move on. LifestealAdmin: Boys, boys, I'm gonna be honest bro, like, I just think everybody's rationale is dookie booty, see you next season, boys. [Everyone is banned. Zam laughs.] Mapicc: You know what Zam, does that count? I'll take that. Zam: Does that count? That does count, yeah.

vitalasy’s wormhole video is, as far as i know, the only video to include this scene at all. It’s the final piece of lifesteal footage shown, before vitalasy ends it talking about how he succeeded in getting the glitch patched. we get one line of dialogue from vitalasy, and then it cuts away–knowing, having seen it, that this is because there’s nothing else of it he could have included without calling the rest of the video into question. not just the parts that make himself look better, all of it. he would have to acknowledge the fact that he’s tying it all up in a bow and the bow doesn’t fit right.

Vitalasy: As players flooded the server I smiled with glee, knowing that this was not only about to be the end of the server, therefore forcing us all to make a new server and start fresh, but also the ending of Project Wormhole. I fought against the wormhole with the other players to make the event fair, but the doomsday continued as planned. As hours went by, totems were removed, hearts were taken, and effects were cleared, all to build up to the moment when we could finally /stop the server for good. But the more I fought against the wormhole, the more I found myself… not… having fun. While the players had a goal, to survive the wormhole event, because I knew everything, I didn’t really know what to do. I could have continued mindlessly going into battle against the wormhole, but at the time, that simply didn’t seem enjoyable. For so long I had hidden behind the curtains of my great project, and now watching it unfold, I had no role to play. So seeing my best friend next to me, just as lost as I was, for the first time in eleven months, I decided to put the wormhole project aside.  [cut to recording; the end of their confrontation with zam, decontextualized.] Vitalasy: Why don’t we just log off? Don’t you remember like, the good old days? Days of minecraft. Building, just… playing minecraft. [cut] Subz: why the hell does it matter what other people want. Or, not really like that but like– Vitalasy: No, I get what you mean. We are doing what we want for us. Subz: Yeah, yes, yes. That’s what I meant. [back to voiceover] Vitalasy: So we waited and watched, as the server we used to care about crumbled. Because in the end it didn’t matter, server or not. We learned what mattered most. That's why we made Project Wormhole; to end the server while bringing its players closer together. Us included.

that’s why we made project wormhole; to end the server while bringing its players closer together. us included. 

[PARROT STARED AT ME, AS HE REALIZED: I DIDN’T JUST EXPLOIT A GAME, I EXPLOITED A FRIENDSHIP I HAD BUILT OVER YEARS. VIDEO AFTER VIDEO, I LIED ABOUT THE EXPLOITS, I LIED ABOUT THE STORY, I LIED ABOUT THE NPPP TO ARTIFICIALLY CREATE HIS PURPOSE. I LIED TO THE VIEWERS, I LIED TO MY FRIENDS, I LIED TO GET TO THIS PLACE, THE ONE PLACE THAT WAS DEEMED IMPOSSIBLE. BUT THE TRUTH IS? THAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE ABUSED THE WORMHOLE. BUT NOBODY COULD HAVE DONE WHAT I HAD ACHIEVED.]

and spoke thinks, why did you forgive me? I thought you’d hate me for it. but you don’t.

princezam says: you aren’t allowed to forgive me. 

vitalasy thinks: i wish you would forgive me. I wish you would forgive yourself.

vitalasy and subz stand there after she leaves and they say, maybe it was only ever meant to be the two of us–vitalasy bookends this same scene, decontextualized, with the sentiment that he and subz were brought together through all of this.

….at what cost? what a hollow win condition. It wasn’t about that. 

we’re doing what we want for us. and it is selfish, by some measures. by zam’s measures, and maybe by everyone else’s too, what vitalasy does in season 4 is selfish. the wormhole is, on the parts of everyone involved, a scheme prioritizing their stories over everyone else's in true lifesteal fashion, declaring narrative control, orchestrating the shape of an entire season; a year of everyone’s lives. vitalasy could not end further from where he began: there is no climax to my story, there is no twist ending, there’s just me. he set it all up with the intention of there being those things, and in the videos where he can gain back distance and narrative control, maybe there is. but over the course of season 4 it all unravels, until it’s just him. and isn’t this the same lesson zam had to learn with eclipse? that you can’t compromise yourself? that you might end up in a situation and realize that it’s not what you want, and have to find a way to get yourself out of it. even an inelegant one. It isn’t just vitalasy creating a role that zam can’t fill, it’s zam doing it back at him, too, building on the framework until the whole thing collapses for both of them. how do you explain the realization that you don’t want what you thought you wanted, but that all of the time wasn’t wasted, because you had to go through it to get where you are now, even though you would never do it again? you don’t. tie it up in a bow.

a contradiction: the server isn’t what matters, the people are what matters, but we refuse to give it up–we’ll be back. and what’s with his fixation on the day one fishing spot, anyway? this juxtaposition where it can be both the site of the exploit’s discovery and the epitome of normal minecraft the way vitalasy talks about it, some sort of threshold. what would that moment have been without the exploit, is that the question? no, because vitalasy doesn’t regret doing it. he needed to do this, to learn from it. but now he’s done. why does vitalasy want to revisit that originary moment–a moment spent with the other exploiters? us included. why does he want to stay in the world, explore its ruins, build an ugly house, hang all of his sentimental items on the wall? vitalasy and subz talk about zam like they don’t want to remember her, and she’s absent from these final videos, but she gets hung on the wall too.

two years later, princezam says: i need to forgive myself through you.

the locus of tension in the final eclipse argument–part and parcel with the things people will refuse to talk about, moving forward–is on the fact that zam hates herself and what she’s done and the situation she’s found herself in, but she won’t actually do anything to make it better. it takes her two years afterwards to even begin to work it out. that scene is the climax of their personal stories in season 4 and it amounts to vitalasy, having been changed so dramatically in large part because of the effect zam had on him, running into the fact that she is rejecting that same kind of change in favor of taking her anger out on the world and with it, herself. she wants to leave it behind, and she wants to forget it happened. spoke, for his part, seems to take about the same amount of processing time on all of this that zam does.

this final scene is just a nail in a coffin. people talking past each other. at that moment in time, vitalasy and the rest of lifesteal rendered incapable of understanding each other.

Zam: I'll talk to Bacon about it. (...) Maybe I can talk to Mapicc about it. [pause] ugh, but then I'm scared that they're gonna be like–nah, cause like, I don't–I don't wanna talk to someone about it and then they'll just be like, yeah, no, Vitalasy was like, evil. And then it's like–cause like–everyone–everyone on the server at that point strongly believed that he was, right? I don't know.

how do you talk about that? first, you just don’t understand it. you cannot seem to grasp what he’s telling you, nothing to be done with it. later… maybe you would understand it. but it’s been so much time, and admitting you were wrong is really one of the hardest things in the world (and telling someone else that they were wrong might be harder still).

[ilovegyokeres]

do part 2 of Celebrity Crush with their dinner and then developing into a secret relationship, him posting her music/film, with her going to the stadium to watch him play and then the public becoming suspicious. it would be cool to have photos on IG of when they came out and maybe Kenan won a championship and she went to hug him on the field 😩 definitely a slow one with cute moments

The phone buzzed again. It was nearly midnight on your end, and you were sitting cross-legged on your couch, wrapped in a cozy blanket. The late-night calmness had settled over your apartment, but your mind was anything but calm.

You’d just finished a long day of work, but no matter how hard you tried, your thoughts kept drifting back to Kenan. His messages. The fact that you were actually talking to him. It had only been a few days since your Tonight Show interview aired, but in that time, your social media had exploded, and somehow, amidst all the chaos, he’d found his way into your DMs.

You had to admit: you were addicted to the conversations.

Kenan Yıldız: What time is it over there?

You smiled to yourself as you typed back.

You: Almost midnight. What about you?

Kenan Yıldız: Morning. Just got out of training.

The message was pretty standard, yet you couldn’t help but feel a little spark at the thought of him training hard on the other side of the world. You quickly typed:

You: Shouldn't you be, like… resting?

The reply came quickly, as if he had been waiting for it.

Kenan Yıldız: Shouldn't you be sleeping?

You laughed quietly to yourself. You had barely even realized how late it was.

You: Touché.

Another pause. You could feel your mind racing with a thousand thoughts, and you started typing again, trying to force your nerves into something else.

You: Can't sleep. Just one of those nights.

A few seconds passed, and you stared at the screen, the dots bouncing.

Kenan Yıldız: Same.

That was it. A simple message, but it held so much meaning. You wondered, for just a moment, if he was saying something more than just the words. The shared sentiment was clear. The more you thought about it, the more the weight of it sank in.

You wanted to say something, but before you could, his next message popped up.

Kenan Yıldız: Wanna call?

Your heart skipped.

A call? You hadn't expected that. Your thumb hovered over the screen for what felt like an eternity. Your breath hitched, and you suddenly realized how exposed you felt. It wasn’t just a regular conversation anymore. This was Kenan.

You tried to play it cool. You told yourself you didn’t need to jump into anything. But when you looked at your phone, the nervousness crept in. What if you said something dumb? What if you didn’t know what to say? The whole situation felt so… real now.

His next message made you hesitate even more:

Kenan Yıldız: Or we can just text. Whatever you want.

You swallowed hard. You had already come this far. You didn’t want to back out now. FaceTime—that was the next step, right? If you didn’t do it now, you might never get the chance again.

You: FaceTime.

Your fingers hit the send button before you could think better of it. And almost immediately, you regretted it. Was that too forward? Were you rushing things?

And then, your phone started to ring.

Your stomach flipped as you saw the name. Kenan Yıldız.

You took a deep breath, quickly smoothing out your hair and making sure you didn’t look like a total disaster before swiping to accept the call.

The screen flashed, and then there he was.

Kenan Yıldız. In your phone.

He was lying back against what looked like a bed, wearing a plain t-shirt, his hair a little messy from training. His eyes locked on yours, and for a moment, you both just stared at each other in silence.

You could feel the nerves creeping in, but you didn’t want to look away first.

“Hey,” he said, his voice surprisingly soft, almost like he’d been waiting for this moment too.

You swallowed, still trying to play it cool. “Hi.”

“Didn’t think you’d actually say yes,” he teased, the familiar smirk tugging at his lips.

You laughed awkwardly, running a hand through your hair. “Well, I figured… I couldn’t keep avoiding it.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Avoiding it? I wasn’t going to bite.”

“No, not that,” you rushed to clarify. “I just… I didn’t know if I was ready for an actual call, you know?”

He nodded, his expression softening slightly. “I get it. But you’re here now.”

There was a beat of silence, and you couldn’t help but feel the weight of it. Being on a call with someone you’d only ever seen on TV or social media was surreal. It felt different, but also more real than anything you’d done with him before.

“So,” he started, shifting a little to sit up. “What’s the deal with all the edits? I swear I’ve seen enough memes of me and you together to last a lifetime.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly plan on that going viral.”

“I saw the interview, and I’ll admit—I was flattered. Didn’t know I had that kind of effect.” His tone was playful, but there was something in his eyes that made it clear he wasn’t just joking.

You smiled, trying to ignore the warmth that spread across your cheeks. “You should be flattered. You’re Kenan Yıldız.”

He chuckled, but there was a noticeable softness in his voice when he spoke next. “But you’re you. I mean, I’ve been following your work for a while.”

You blinked, trying to process what he’d just said. He’d been following your work?

“You’ve been… following me?”

He looked away briefly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah. A fan of yours, actually.”

Your heart skipped.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” His smile widened, and he leaned forward slightly, as though he was trying to close the distance between you two, even though you were miles apart.

You tried not to get too caught up in the words, but you could feel the chemistry between you two now, even through a phone screen. It was subtle, but it was there.

“So,” he continued, “Tell me more about what you’re working on. What’s next for you?”

You shifted a little, feeling the nerves begin to melt away as you got into something familiar. “Well, I’m actually working on a new movie. It’s a bit of a drama, something I haven’t done before. So, there’s a lot of emotional range involved. It’s kind of scary, actually.”

“Sounds like something I’d watch.” His tone was light, but you could hear the genuine interest in his voice.

You couldn’t help but smile. “You’d watch a drama?”

“Depends. If you’re in it, I’d definitely watch.”

The compliment hung in the air, and your heart fluttered just a bit. It wasn’t just flattery. There was a realness to it that made you feel… seen.

“You’re making me blush,” you said, trying to keep things casual, but your cheeks betrayed you, and you could feel the heat creeping up.

Kenan noticed, of course. He grinned, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you. “Good.”

For a moment, you both just stayed there, looking at each other. The small talk had shifted to something more personal. Something that felt real.

It had been a few days since the FaceTime call with Kenan. You hadn’t stopped thinking about it. About him.

Every time you unlocked your phone, your fingers hovered over his name in your messages. You weren’t sure if you were overthinking things or if there was actually something there—something real—between you two.

Since that night, your conversations had been more frequent. It wasn’t just the occasional message here and there anymore. Now, he texted you throughout the day, sometimes just checking in, sometimes sending voice notes, sometimes teasing you about things you’d said on the call.

And the energy between you two had shifted.

The messages were still playful, but there was a new weight behind them.

Like earlier today:

Kenan Yıldız: What are you doing?

You: On set. You?

Kenan Yıldız: Bored. Waiting for training to start.

You: Wow, must be nice to just be bored in Italy.

Kenan Yıldız: Yeah, but you’re not here.

Your breath had caught at that last part. It had been so casual, so smooth, and yet it stuck with you the whole day.

And now, you were lying on your couch again, scrolling absentmindedly through your phone, waiting—though you didn’t want to admit it—for him to text.

Then, as if on cue, your phone buzzed.

Kenan Yıldız: Can I call you?

Your stomach flipped. You stared at the message for a second, fingers tightening around the phone. You wanted to answer immediately, but something about how casually he asked made your nerves spike.

Was this becoming… a thing?

You chewed on your lip before finally responding.

You: FaceTime or just a call?

His reply was immediate.

Kenan Yıldız: Your choice.

You hesitated for just a second before your fingers moved on their own.

You: FaceTime.

Not even a full second later, your phone started ringing. You took a deep breath before swiping to accept, and there he was—again.

Kenan was sitting on a couch, looking more relaxed than last time. His hair was slightly damp, probably from a shower, and he was wearing a simple hoodie. The second his face appeared on the screen, the corners of his lips tugged upward in a small smile.

“Hey,” he said.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “Hey.”

“You’re making this a habit,” he teased, shifting slightly.

You rolled your eyes. “I could say the same about you.”

He smirked. “I don’t mind.”

And just like that, the tension settled—familiar, warm, electric.

You tucked your legs beneath you and leaned back into the couch. “So, what’s up? Why the sudden call?”

Kenan shrugged. “I dunno. Just felt like talking to you.”

Your heart skipped a beat, but you tried to play it cool. “Bored again?”

“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “Just… I guess I got used to talking to you.”

You swallowed, the weight of those words settling in your chest. You were so not prepared for this level of honesty.

“Oh,” was all you managed to say.

Kenan tilted his head slightly, studying your reaction. “What?”

You shook your head quickly, trying to brush it off. “Nothing, just—didn’t expect that answer.”

“What did you expect?”

You let out a breathy laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe something about football or how you just wanted to annoy me?”

He chuckled, rubbing his jaw. “I mean, that too.”

You rolled your eyes, but there was no denying the warmth spreading through your chest.

There was a small pause before Kenan spoke again. “So, tell me something.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“I dunno. Something random. Something I don’t know about you yet.”

You hesitated for a second, then shrugged. “Okay. Um… I talk to myself when I’m trying to memorize lines.”

He smirked. “Like, full conversations?”

“Oh yeah,” you admitted. “I argue with myself sometimes too.”

Kenan laughed. “That’s kinda cute.”

You scoffed. “No, it’s not. It’s embarrassing.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s real. I like that.”

You blinked, caught off guard by how genuine he sounded.

Your voice was softer when you spoke next. “Okay. Your turn.”

He thought about it for a moment, then said, “I always listen to music before a match. The same song, every time.”

You leaned in slightly, intrigued. “What song?”

He hesitated. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Absolutely not.”

Kenan sighed dramatically, running a hand through his hair. “It’s… Superhero by Metro Boomin.”

You burst out laughing, and he groaned. “I knew it.”

“I’m sorry! It’s just—” You covered your mouth, trying to hold it in. “That’s so intense. Like, imagine your teammates just vibing and then there’s you, mentally preparing for war.”

Kenan smirked. “Exactly. Gotta lock in.”

You shook your head, still smiling. “That’s actually kinda cool.”

He looked at you for a second, then said, “You’re different when you’re comfortable.”

You blinked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

He tilted his head slightly. “You were nervous the first time we talked.”

You swallowed. “And now?”

Kenan’s gaze didn’t waver. “Now, you’re just you.”

For a moment, you just… looked at each other. The air between you was thick with something unspoken, something neither of you had fully addressed yet.

You cleared your throat, trying to shake it off. “I—um, I should probably sleep soon.”

Kenan smiled, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes. “Yeah. Don’t want to keep you up too late.”

You bit your lip, hesitating before you spoke again. “But… this was nice.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

Kenan leaned back against the couch, exhaling. “Guess I’ll have to call you again, then.”

You smirked. “Guess so.”

The silence stretched out again, neither of you willing to hang up first.

Finally, Kenan chuckled. “Alright. Goodnight, Y/N.”

Your heart fluttered at the way he said your name.

“Goodnight, Kenan.”

And when you finally ended the call, you were smiling like an idiot.

This was something.

And you weren’t sure where it was leading, but… you weren’t running from it anymore.

You told yourself you weren’t going to overthink it.

And yet, here you were, staring at your phone, overthinking it.

It had been almost two weeks since those late-night FaceTimes with Kenan, and things between you two had only gotten… more.

More texts. More calls. More teasing, inside jokes, little moments that felt like something real.

And yet, nothing had been said outright.

You weren’t sure how to define whatever this was—if it even needed defining. Maybe it was just two people enjoying each other’s company. Maybe it was more. Maybe—

Your phone buzzed.

Kenan Yıldız: What time is it over there?

A familiar smile tugged at your lips as you typed back.

You: Late. Again.

Kenan Yıldız: And you’re still awake?

You: And so are you.

Kenan Yıldız: Yeah, but I have a reason.

You raised an eyebrow, curious.

You: Oh? And what’s your reason?

The dots bounced for a second before his reply came.

Kenan Yıldız: You.

Your stomach flipped.

You blinked at the message, rereading it like maybe your tired eyes were playing tricks on you. But no—it was there. Clear as day.

You exhaled sharply, gripping your phone tighter. What were you supposed to even say to that?

The answer came before you could think too hard about it.

Kenan Yıldız: Wanna call?

You hesitated, but only for a second before you typed back.

You: FaceTime.

The call came immediately. You inhaled sharply before answering, and just like that—there he was.

Kenan was lying on his bed this time, hood up, dim lighting casting a soft glow around him. He looked comfortable, like he had nowhere else to be, no one else he wanted to talk to but you.

"Hey," he said, voice low, relaxed.

"Hey," you echoed, settling back against your pillow.

"You looked scared for a second," he teased.

You rolled your eyes. "I was just preparing myself for whatever dumb thing you were about to say."

He smirked. "And yet, you still picked FaceTime."

You huffed, but there was no real annoyance behind it. Just familiarity.

He adjusted slightly, resting his chin on his hand. "So… I’ve been thinking."

Your heart kicked up a little. "About?"

Kenan hesitated, then exhaled like he was debating something. And suddenly, the lighthearted teasing faded into something heavier.

"About us meeting."

Your breath caught.

You swallowed. "Oh."

Kenan studied your reaction, his gaze never leaving yours. "Do you want to?"

Your head spun. Not because you didn’t want to—but because now, it was real.

You had spent all this time talking, dancing around whatever this was, building something between the two of you that had been kept safely behind screens and text bubbles. But now? Now, he was saying it out loud.

And you had to answer.

You inhaled deeply, trying to play it cool. "Where would we even meet?"

He smiled slightly, like he was relieved you hadn’t immediately shut it down. "You tell me."

"You’re the one in Italy," you pointed out. "Kinda hard for you to just hop on a plane."

His expression didn’t change. "Not impossible, though."

You blinked. "You’d fly here?"

Kenan shrugged. "Or you could come to me."

You hesitated. "Kenan—"

"It makes sense," he interrupted, like he already knew you were about to argue. "I have training, matches… I can’t really leave. But you, you travel all the time anyway, right? And the paparazzi aren’t as crazy here as in the U.S."

Your lips pressed together. He had a point.

"You really want that?" you asked, quieter this time.

Kenan’s voice softened. "Yeah."

The way he said it—it wasn’t some casual, playful suggestion. It was intentional.

He really wanted you there.

Your chest tightened.

You bit your lip, hesitating for only a second before finally admitting, "I do too."

Kenan’s smile widened, but there was something softer behind it. Something real.

"Then let’s make it happen," he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

You took a shaky breath. "What would we even do?"

His eyes flickered with something amused. "Are you asking me on a date?"

Your face heated. "I—I didn’t say that!"

Kenan smirked. "You kinda did."

You groaned. "Oh my god, you’re insufferable."

"But you like me anyway."

You opened your mouth to argue—but… you didn’t. And Kenan noticed. His smirk deepened.

After a long pause, he leaned closer to the camera, eyes steady on yours. "Come to a game."

Your breath hitched.

Kenan continued, "Not publicly. No cameras. Just you. No one has to know."

Your heartbeat roared in your ears. "You want me to come to a match?"

"Yeah," he said, like it was obvious. "I want you there."

Something about the way he said it—so effortlessly, like it was the most natural thing in the world—made you feel something.

Like maybe, just maybe… this was more than just late-night conversations and teasing texts.

You swallowed. "And after?"

Kenan arched an eyebrow. "What about after?"

You hesitated, then, pushing past your nerves, said, "We should get dinner."

Kenan stilled for a second—then a slow, knowing smile spread across his face.

"Now who's asking who out?" he teased.

You rolled your eyes. "Take it or leave it, Yıldız."

His voice was lower when he answered, "I'll take it."

Your stomach flipped.

Silence stretched between you, heavy with something unspoken.

Then Kenan exhaled, leaning back against his pillow. "Guess I should start playing even better, huh?"

You smirked. "Oh, absolutely. I’ll be judging."

Kenan chuckled. "Noted."

For a moment, neither of you spoke. It was one of those rare comfortable silences—one that felt natural, like neither of you were in a rush to end the call.

Kenan was the one who broke it. "You're actually coming."

It wasn’t a question. More like a realization.

You smiled. "Yeah."

And for the first time, this—whatever this was—felt real.

[semipreciousgemstonejade]

A great point that is touched upon here is that ultimately this is a company and we are consumers. Like this post says, if we continue to pour our time and money into this game when they continue to push these predatory practices, they will only become worse.

I've said on the subreddit many times that what they're doing with Sylus affects every player, since we're all playing the same game. How does it make sense to paywall one and not the others? It doesn't. They absolutely will start doing that with the other characters and that process has already begun.

This isn't their only game, so this isn't their only revenue stream. They are also creating a AAA game for console, Ballad of Antara.

All this to say that they can afford to treat their consumers better. Why don't companies ever understand that the more they understand the target demographic and better they treat the consumer, the more money we will spend? People want high quality in exchange for brand loyalty.

Always remember how much power we hold... There is a reason that women are a target demographic for marketing strategies and not just for fashion and makeup. We aren't a monolith.

In simple terms, it’s because marketers think women are making most buying decisions. Research cited by Forbes suggests that women drive 70-80% of consumer purchasing decisions (source: Forbes), and more detailed research by Girl Power Marketing shows that this influence isn’t limited to the clichéd trifecta of household goods, cosmetics and clothes that modern media has taught us to associate with female shopping behaviour. (Source: Girlpower Marketing).

In total, experts think that women control over $31.8 trillion of worldwide spending (Source: Catalyst). And when you look at statistics like that, it's easy to see how a lot of marketers fall into the trap of assuming that they'll meet success if they start targeting women.

While there is some truth to the idea that women are household managers and the key decision makers in many business organisations, there's also an equally strong body of research to show that they are much more discerning than their male counterparts when it comes to engaging with digital marketing material.

https://www.redevolution.com/blog/why-do-marketers-target-females

The last part is a warning... We won't just continue to spend our money willy nilly. We will take our money elsewhere. There is talk of competition in the future...

I've seen a lot of the suggestions people have given in their surveys and honestly we're telling them how to make this game more engaging for us. If only they would listen. But as my mother says, "those who can't hear must feel". And since money talks, I guess hurting their revenue is the only way they'll understand.

Ultimately we all want this game to succeed, but not at our expense and using predatory practices.

And always remember, we give Papergames and Infold free marketing with all the things we write, draw, our video edits, YouTubers and social media accounts etc... Not to mention all the cool and extravagant things the CN whales do that promotes the game. Of course, no one asks anyone to do any of this, but it adds to the success of the game by bringing in more players.

No matter what I choose to do in the end — to pull or not to pull 😔 — I will, in solidarity with the CN kittens and the ongoing boycott, refrain from pulling within the first 3 days. I'll only log in on the first day and choose Sylus as my precise wish. That's it. And I will absolutely not spend real money. I have 0 plans to ever do so until Paperfold course corrects.

If you too wish to help with the boycott, then I urge you to do the same. You can still get the card you desire ofc but please wait until after 3 days or at least 24 hours have passed in that case.

For more info on the boycott, please check my pinned post or my hashtag justice for sylus. You can also take a look at this Reddit thread .

[windblume-wishes]

Ooh, the IEP/504 thing is really interesting! I’ve known what an IEP is for ages (always known lots of kids who had accommodations) and I personally strongly suspect/headcanon that Deuce has some sort of learning disability, but I’ve never thought about what an IEP for him might look like before.

Another student I think would probably require accommodations is Silver, due to his sleeping curse. What do you think an IEP for him might look like?

Hello, Dearie!

I’d definitely like to start off by saying thank you for your feedback and enjoying what I thought about Deuce! I’ve been sitting on that idea for a bit and finally thought I’d best share it now than never! Glad I did! Coming from experience, I can strongly say that Deuce would have a learning disability but that’s what is so cool about him, it shows the reality in TWST. This helps students who may feel uncomfortable with their own learning disabilities feel more comfortable and confident as they are seeing a character just like them walking in their shoes. Well done, Disney and Yana!

Without further ado, let’s dive into this!

For Silver, his situation is definitely one not many would come across but that does not mean it doesn’t happen. For starters I’d like to say that what he may require is actually the 504 Plan rather than the IEP, not saying he can’t have an IEP but if he gets one it will be for some small things.

Let’s refresh on what an IEP really is first:

Provides specialized instruction and services to help students access the curriculum

Includes annual goals and progress tracking

Requires a certified special education teacher or IEP case manager

Includes interventions like reading programs or speech therapy

Silver’s situation would technically fall under narcolepsy even if it’s technically a “curse” it still is narcolepsy in that sense so let’s dive into how this would work for him.

For Silver’s Plan:

More time on tests/quizzes. He is a sleepy guy, he needs to have some extra time to complete his work, whether it be within the class period itself or after school he should be given the accommodation to be able to do this.

Copy of the teacher’s notes. Silver is known to drift off in the middle of a lesson and will miss things, if he does he will require a teacher’s copy of the lesson for that day. This will help him complete his assignments and study.

Ability to turn in late work. This will allow him to catch up on his assignments that may be marked “M” or “Missing” in the grade book and may be bringing his grades down. If this accommodation is in place then he can be able to do his homework and turn it in late given his circumstances.

Be allowed to go to the nurse for rest. If needed, Silver should be able to go to the nurse to rest if his condition gets unbearable. If he raises his hand to say he needs to step out and tend to his situation he will be granted rest in the nurses office without question. - 30 minute nap breaks to manage his exhaustion.

Speech therapy. Silver struggles with certain social cues and understanding certain things so this will benefit him in the long run as he will learn to understand what is being said to him.

Be allowed the opportunity to work from his room. Silvers could work from his room at certain times of the day or on specific days to help with his exhaustion, sometimes being in a comfortable place may be helpful for him.

I feel like he would also require these goals for an IEP:

Understanding when to communicate needs to the teacher.

(Silvers seems to have a difficulty with this, he usually falls asleep before he can communicate.)

Understanding when to advocate for himself in classroom settings.

(Silvers definitely struggles with this in the story… so he will need to work on this in speech therapy by working through scenarios with the therapist.)

Nothing too fancy, these were just two I thought of at the top of my head.

Hope this was good, @ladylolalilly ! It really took a lot for me to dig into all of this and go through my notes~

- Windblume

[bandzboy]

i get out of my classes feeling like life is worth living and music is everything i swear

[gingerswagfreckles]

Well they caught him. If he wasn't the exact kind of person tumblr loves, the conspiracy theories about this being a random person being framed would have continued to spread. But he's an attractive 26 year old white man who was caught carrying a manifesto about corporate America and has an internet history that matches up with tumblr's general politics. So everyone is going to get excited about how he's a martyr and go back to acknowledging reality in that there isn't a conspiracy to frame the wrong guy.

The discussions over whether or not this man should be lionized as a hero are honestly not as relevant as the comfort with which people are going to drop the conspiracy theory they would have been fully committed to if this man's politics turned out to be nuts. The ease with which the userbase of this website switches between realities based on whether or not they confirm their biases is really alarming. I just hope people understand how weird it is to claim a random person is 100% going to be framed by the FBI on one day, and then drop that by the next day when it becomes clear that the person being "framed" is the exact kind of communist you had hoped.

[sysig]

Cards 👏 cards 👏 cards 👏 (Patreon)

[minothtime]

so we all agree franziska kay and ema made a groupchat after investigations 2 to which maya and seb were added later right

we can safely assume fender is that one uncle that loves uploading stuff to whatsapp status like boomer jokes and pictures of the sunset right

it's perfectly reasonable to infer edgeworth FINALLY got a second phone because using the same number/device for both work and personal life was starting to get impossible to manage right

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[micahs-chin-scar]

As much as I enjoy the idea of Micah rizzing up naive city girls with (highly exaggerated) epic tales of his cowboy adventures, I know in my heart from watching his painful flirting attempts with Mary-Beth and Abigail that most of his experience with women comes from working girls