#when it comes to other people. you can spread awareness and set boundaries in your personal life! but thats about it tbh

[kaleidescopeghost]

There's also a huge difference between exploring things like disasters, toxic relationships, xyz crime, and other generally negative stuff

And like. Non-critical support and consumption of media that perpetuates harmful ideas and propaganda, which in turn Will influence the way people behave and what they believe.

But those are two very different things and because one group of people decides not to engage with media critically doesn't mean you need to monitor and control the interests of others. Yes there's shit we need to watch out for, yes there are horrible stories that are written by fucked up people. Your job is to make sure you know how to separate Those stories from stories that are an exercise in imagination or exploration of a hypothetical fucked up situation, even if the story is graphic or disturbing or What Have You.

This has been a PSA.

[jmdbjk]

Jungkook telling it like it is...

He did tell Spotify that he'd use the blanket they gave him. Just not the way they probably thought he would: Jungkook's glossy black marble floor shows his bare feet prints on it and he used his Spotify blanket to clean the floor. He says he'll have to always wear socks or slippers. I can see him leaving a pile of toe socks at the door just for him to put on when he's in that room...

He says he briefly and unseriously considered quitting the business to be a full time cook. (JK, you can't do that, you have to make enough money to pay for the utilities and property taxes on your new fortress...) But that's his introvert kicking in, the routine, the comfort zone, the way his job holds his interest enough to make him want to keep doing it. But he is aware and he knows this about himself and knows he has to return to his "spot" as he called it.

He seems to accept the fact his place of residence is going to be known by the fans just like many other aspects of his life such as details of his military service. He seems to take it in stride but he also sets boundaries by asking fans to not come to his house and do not send packages, not only to his house but to his army base. He explains why, that he cannot accept them and that packages containing food are restricted. He clearly instructs to send letters to the company.

How do people know where he lives? Here's the answer, or at least part of it:

We all know if you spend time on Youtube the algorithm will feed you videos and channels similar to what you've watched. If you are restrained enough to limit your viewing to only BangtanTV I applaud you. But if you watch anything else, youtube will serve you similar. We all know that through the anecdotes of Armys talking about being flooded with edited, slo-mo shipping videos.

Personally, I like watching youtube channels that show walking tours of Seoul. The city captured my attention and I've learned so much about it. But because of this interest I have in Seoul and Korea, more "walking tour" and Korean travel type channels are suggested to me. Some are better than others. Some are actually run by K-Army. I am very interested in K-Armys' perspective about life in Seoul so I watch. We get to see the birthday cafe events and such that I'm probably never going to experience.

Inevitably one of these channels is going to walk by the members' homes... because they are Army and can. Streets are public. And this is how other people find out where the members live. The videos show that none of the homes are accessible. They are all behind walls and gates. None of the videos show hoards of fans congregated in front of the homes. The only place you ever see that is in front of the Hybe building.

Yes, it is controversial knowing these things but it is also one of those things that is almost unavoidable. What do I do with the information I gain by watching? Nothing. I satisfy my curiosity and move on.

Jungkook knows we are curious. He knows with his position in life there are things he cannot control and he's aware of it. It's pointless for him to pretend he isn't aware of this. That's why he sets boundaries. And he's very kind about it when he does set boundaries.

Are there bad actors out there who will take advantage of the knowledge? Of course. But that's on them. Are there people who will post every detail they learn? Of course. That's how the information spreads to other social media platforms.

Anyway... the Weverse translations are sort of skimming over what he says. There's a little bit of nuance being left out sometimes.

The Weverse English subs say "We'd sing it every day while taking showers." But Jungkook more accurately said: "We always sing together while taking a shower." (begins at 1:00:00)

The Weverse English subs say "Recently, with Jimin, now during our clean up time I finished up in the kitchen and came back up we talked a lot about music and we'd always be humming (he hums) and I'd go far away and sing songs (he gestures away from him). I'll try to practice more when I have time." But more accurately he said: "So these days I'm with Jimin and now when its personal maintenance time I go upstairs after finishing kitchen work. We talk a lot about singing and we're humming along to each other all the time (he hums) like that and we go far away and sing and stuff (he gestures away from him). I'll practice more in my spare time." (begins at 36:48)

The Weverse English subs say "I've been doing well with Jimin in my military life. I've been well." More accurately he said: "I'm/we are working hard and doing well in military life together with Jiminie-hyung. I'm doing well." (at 8:18)

He showed us his entertainment room, he clearly states he can't show us the upstairs but he does not give a reason why but as he talks he explains he has not "organized" his house. Maybe he won't show it because he doesn't want to or maybe he won't show it because in his opinion, its a mess right now. Regardless, its his choice what he wants to show us and we are privileged when he does so. I'd bet that at some point, we'll see his kitchen because he's Jungkook.

He talked about his job as a cook in the Army. He said he prepares many Korean dishes and they are either boiled or braised. He mentions that they cannot grill food. He says its not easy making large amounts of food. He says he does his best to make them tasty. I've noticed on the timeline the accounts that post military menus that on most days, meals include stews and soups so he is definitely learning how to cook a wide variety of dishes.

He sang about 30 songs including several off Golden. He sounded really good singing Standing Next to You, in fact, his off the cuff live singing of all the songs from his album was pretty exquisite even if he didn't sing most of the songs to the end.

He spoke with a slight reverence regarding only singing BTS songs with the rest of the members. It gave me the impression he knows it will be a special moment for them as well as us.

He picked at his lip, bit his cuticles, touched his lips, scratched his head under his beanie and yawned many times before finally telling us good night. Until we see you again soon, Kookie! Be safe and keep practicing with Jimin!

[eighth-house-tarot]

Pick a Card:

Full Moon in Gemini

how to pick a card and disclaimers

Here are some messages for you this full moon <3

Pile 1 / Pile 2 / Pile 3

spread: Biddy Tarot Full Moon spread and ritual // decks: Rider Waite tarot, Find Your Purpose by Jess Sanders

Pile 1

What have you created and manifested since the new moon? High Priestess - You've finally decided to listen to yourself. Hooray! You've decided it's better to trust yourself and clean up any mistakes you might make, rather than using other people's opinions to make decisions about your life. And you're absolutely right! The world will not crack in 2 when you make a mistake, and you are perfectly capable of righting them when they happen. This is important because it gives your power back to yourself, and people can't take advantage of you. Annnnnd, I got a feeling you've been dealing with some fuck ass bullshit lately. That bullshit will no longer impact you the same way, because you set boundaries. I just want to give you a around of applause for that. It's hard to do, but makes life way easier. You've found peace and confidence. Where are you now? 6 of Pentacles - You're a generous person, and you've been giving back what you've received from the good nature of others. These people you're grateful for could have been online creators or people from your real life. Express your gratitude to them, because what goes around comes around. You're in a great energy for volunteering, so I highly recommend you join a mutual aid group, get more involved in yours, or help start one (no matter how small - a group of 4-5 people supporting each other is stronger than 1!). Whatever kind of help you're inspired to give, give it. Also, read the strawberry chapter of Braiding Sweetgrass. What is coming into your conscious awareness? Ace of Swords - With the peace you now have, you finally have clarity of mind. Anxiety, stress, and worry literally makes us sick. I feel like you had a head injury, or a bad case of brain fog (from hormonal imbalance, long covid, or something else). Sure, you'll start to get new ideas and breakthroughs. But the most exciting part is the feeling like your brain is finally working again! Keep up the meditation, journaling, exercise (make it fun), and good nights sleep - your new neurological results will be able to become your new normal. What is no longer serving you? 3 of Cups Reversed - I got a feeling you've had a lot of awful people around you who say some of the nastiest gossip about you and each other. While I believe you've set boundaries, I don't think you've cut things off. This is just a general reading, trust your judgement before my own. For most people reading this: these people add nothing but misery to your life, they're toxic and poison the good around you. Leave them. Leave the group chat. Report and block them. Their attacks are just DARVO. Grey rock them whenever you have to interact. Giving them nothing will make them eventually leave you alone. Cut. Them. Off. <- If that felt like a relief to hear, do that. If that doesn't feel right to you, then start learning how to set stronger boundaries, and prepare yourself for when you will need to set them. How can you release and let go of those energies? 7 of Pentacles - Journal and reflect on the good times with these people. What made them good? What was fun? What brought you joy? What made you confident? Give thanks to those moments. The moments taught you what to seek in new relationships, as you meet healthy people. Sometimes a healthy person doesn't have the sense of humor you like, or interests, or habits. And that's okay! You can now make a list of what to seek in relationships beyond "trust, honesty, kindness, loyalty" (aka, the bare minimums for any functional relationship). I heard the phrase in my mind "don't let sour fruits spoil what you've gained". I haven't heard that before, but maybe you have? I think it means a couple things. 1.) let the negativity stay in the past, don't bring it in your present 2.) you can remember the lessons without ruminating on your pain 3.) do NOT let these people destroy your new found confidence, peace, and empowerment.

What additional sources are available to you as you let go? Judgement Reversed - YYou're either open to or actively seeking spiritual guidance right now. Make sure you learn about how to protect yourself from cults / high control groups (these can form outside of religion too btw) before you embark on this journey. Trust yourself, and also learn to protect yourself. Anyway, I personally think you'd resonate and connect with someone like Jiddu Krishnamurti. His most famous quote is: In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself. There are videos of his talks he gave in the 1980's available on YouTube, and he also wrote books.

Quote The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. - Amelia Earhart Affirmation I am unafraid to take action. Journal What is one thing that I can do today that I have been putting off?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

Pile 2

What have you created and manifested since the new moon? Chariot Reversed - You've been "spinning your wheels in the mud" going no where and getting very tired doing it. Out of this frustration, you're forced to stop hyper focusing on the details, and see the forest for the trees. You're now looking at the whole situation, not just the frustrating thing. This is giving you an opportunity to realize solutions to try. The main lesson you've manifested right now is learning you can't force a solution to work. It kinda sucks to learn, but also not really. Now you'll no longer exhaust yourself. Hell yeah! You're not stuck, there's another way. Instead of punishing yourself for what you think are failures, pat yourself on the back for your efforts.

Where are you now? 3 of Wands Reversed - Ultimately, you've been feeling lost, small, and unqualified. But are those facts, or feelings? When you reflect on this, put yourself in the 3rd person. This helps stop shitty beliefs from impacting our reflection. No matter what, you wouldn't have accomplished what you've done if that were true. If there's an area you're weak in, you can learn and strengthen it. This isn't the end, and don't go back to where you came from. Find a mentor, and break down your goals into the tiniest of baby steps possible. In this moment, in this process, you're learning and growing so much.

What is coming into your conscious awareness? 4 of Swords - You're learning that you've been pushing yourself too hard for too long, and you need a good night's sleep. You need deep rest and relaxation. It will clear your mind and help you accomplish your goals. But don't rest for your goals. Rest for you. You need to disengage from the constant music, podcasts, audiobooks, and noise machines. Let go of social media for a while (like, 2 weeks minimum), scrolling is not rest. Pause gaming. Start slow in your restful silence journey. On day 1, sit with yourself, doing nothing for 1 minute. Day 2 = 2 minutes, Day 3 = 3 min. Day 4 could be 4 min or 8 min. Day 10 could be 10 min or 20 min. You'll be shocked at how much this gives you. Don't record yourself in this silence, don't do it for social media. This is your time for you, it's sacred. This practice will help you evaluate how to bring balance into your life, so you can do what you want.

What is no longer serving you? 4 of Cups - You've been ignoring your needs as you ruminate and hyper focus. You need to eat! Go piss girl! Drink water! Take your meds and supplements! Take breaks from your work, it doesn't need your 24hr attention! Stop shutting people out because you feel overwhelmed, it's actually making things worse - you don't have to have long conversations, just send 1 text, send something. Let them know you care, they might be feeling like you don't. Let go of your apathy, disillusionment, and disappointment with the life - you think know everything is bad and awful. All you're basing that off if is what you see - but you see only a fraction of the whole. Learn a new, HEALTHY coping mechanism. Face your responsibilities head on once you let all this go. You'll finally feel momentum and progress. You'll feel more alive, and maybe like you're flying.

How can you release and let go of those energies? Knight of Cups Reversed - Reign your emotions back in from the maladaptive daydreams you keep floating off into. What you're imagining isn't real, but your emotions are, and so are the physiological effects of those emotions. And so are the impacts this has on your life. Escapism is so so addictive, and it's time to learn what healthy daydreaming looks like. You also have a tendency to put very high expectations on the things that you want, and when they don't exist in the way that you hoped, the come-down from that high feels like everything is crashing and burning. Good news is, it's not crashing and burning! It's just not what you imagined. Sometimes a thing being different doesn't mean it's worse or better - it just is. So let it be and give it a chance. I also think you've been guilt tripping yourself over all the things you haven't accomplished yet. That guilt isn't helping you get anywhere, that bitch is your opp. It's okay that you feel guilt (we all do), but like every emotion, we have to let it flow though us. Don't hold onto it because you feel like you need it in order to do better. Punishment never helped anyone grow.

What resources are available to you as you let go? King of Cups Reversed - Look for leaders in the fields of psychology and trauma healing, so you can learn to give yourself compassion as you heal. Dr. Gabor Mate could be very helpful to you. Learn about how to find self help books that are actually helpful. There are a lot of self help scammers out there, so be mindful of that. Also, fuck Better Help. If you're looking for a therapist, or have one already, ask them what they know about Compassionate Inquiry.

Quote Don't give into your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart. - Paulo Coelho Affirmation I listen when my heart guides me. Journal When have I listened to my fears over my heart? What can I learn from those experiences?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

Pile 3

What have you created and manifested since the new moon? 10 of Wands Reversed - You have finally released burdens that are not yours to carry. You now know that you are not the only one who can carry that load (even though you can, it was never your responsibility). The people around you you've been supporting can, and should take care of their responsibilities - it's the only way they're gonna grow. You feel lighter, like a free bird. Exhale and fly. Where are you now? The Devil - Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? asked Black Phillip, and you said Yes! You are indulging in the things you have long denied yourself. You're eating good, having fun, surrounded by luxuries, and having great sex. Be careful not to go too far into your hedonism though. Breaking the bank, accidentally starting a new addiction, avoiding all of your responsibilities, and putting your health at risk aren't fun. Don't let the pendulum swing all the way to the other side just because you finally released the extreme restraint you've been putting on yourself. The opposite side also has a loss of agency (as we see with Thomasin in the VVitch - driven to either die for reasons she didn't cause, or live without a soul, she chose to live. But she doesn't chose to fly in the end, she's pulled into the sky. She can't fly because she doesn't have agency over her life anymore). With your new boundaries, there will always be time for fun. And don't worry that you're putting your needs to the side again when you go back to tending to your responsibilites - they actually let you keep your agency and freedom. Anyway, go back to having fun and defying gravity. What is coming into your conscious awareness? Page of Cups - You're realizing your emotional needs, your inner child, and your sense of silliness and fun. Life is so much better this way. You're new to this, and it'll be a journey to ease into this. Give yourself that chance. Whenever you feel too old to try something, or not cool enough, that's when you gotta triple dog dare yourself into trying it just once. Also, our values don’t have to be burdensome. Some people value hard work, but often times in the way that’s like a punishment because they’ve been conditioned to hate themselves. Having fun is a legitimate value. What is no longer serving you? Strength - You don't have to be strong for others. The only thing you "have" to do is show others how to be strong. Be their teacher. They can't learn if you're doing it for them. Give yourself the gift of inner strength so you can have patience with these people throughout this transition process. Also allow for a little impulsivity in your routines, maybe they don't have to be so strict to achieve the same goal. How can you release and let go of those energies? 6 of Cups Reversed - You've been living in the past, in the sense that you think the beliefs you were taught growing up are universal truths (even if you know they're not, you're operating like they are). They're just what you were taught back then, that's all. Ask in the present moment: what reality are these beliefs creating? Is it the reality you want? Is it a reality that brings you joy, peace, a lightness of spirit, and laughter? If it feels right to, try forgiving those who taught you these beliefs - if it feels harmful to yourself to forgive them, then do radical acceptance instead. And, you don't need to keep revisiting the same painful moments you ruminate on - you already know what's there. Now, go play. I'm serious, go do something silly and fun. We're all gonna die anyway, give life a chance to be fun. Give yourself a chance to be fun.

What resources are available to you as you let go? The World - I don't know if it's because the Wicked soundtrack is so deeply stuck in my head as I write this, but I see a stage. I think you should audition for theater, do a recital, play in a concert, or even just do karaoke. Get on stage, feel the magic of performing, and soak in the applause. I googled a quote because I really wasn't sure if this vision in my head was actually a message for you, or because I wasn't focused. I found this quote is from Shakespeare (the stage imagery makes more sense now): All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, [...]

Quote Ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer. Affirmation I am guided by what I value most. Journal What are my top five values?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

[evanpeterswifeyyy]

This is going to be my last post about the stalker situation because some people are (thankfully, and rightfully) deleting their posts about it:

I need you all to understand that the majority of you getting your information was from Twitter and not only Twitter, but Twitter accounts that were NOT Amanda/ Evvieandme.

That was your first mistake.

Can Twitter be a reliable source? Sometimes. But you seriously need to do your own research.

Especially when it comes to serious accusations and topics like this.

Unfortunately we live in a world now where anyone can say and fake whatever they like and post it as truth, and others will spread it and believe it. It’s why it’s so important in situations like this you don’t take things at face value.

I understand wanting justice and to do the right thing, but if you’re worried how you may look posting about something when you can’t prove it’s validity, don’t say anything until further and CLEAR evidence is given.

You are not obligated to make a statement or spread awareness.

Keep that in mind.

If we had used our critical thinking skills here, you would have noticed immediately that nothing she did was out of the norm for a hardcore fan. Are there fans in the EP fandom and any fandom that are crazy and push boundaries they shouldn’t? Absolutely.

But the fact that you were are all so hung up on a woman who was just a superfan, who seems to have only met Evan in the most professional and appropriate of settings except for one time, that you created an entire campaign to run her off the internet in less than 24 hours instead of talking about idk—Rosa or all the people making hate accounts harassing his girlfriend Natalie on multiple platforms? Or the fact there was/ is a Twitter account roleplaying as if they are actually Evan himself? That’s actual insanity.

And I hate the “well what about this?!” when it comes to activism statements, but what Amanda did wasn’t anything wrong. At least, not anything outside of the norm for celebritty culture—especially pertaining to Evan. So it doesn’t fit that.

Should she have taken the photo? Probably not.

Is it weird she sat next to Evan? In a situation where there are more open seats in the terminal, I’d say yeah, a little.

Does it make her a stalker? No.

And for those of you who aren’t aware yet.

No. Going to public sets and meet and greets is not stalking. People do it all the time for many other celebrities and no one is calling them out for it. Just because she takes as many opportunities as she can to meet Evan does not make her a stalker, it makes her a fan. If you’re a fan of Evan and you had the opportunities she did, I can guarantee you would have done the same.

I genuinely don’t care if this makes anyone upset, just like any other of my drama/ discussion and discourse posts. If you’re uspet with me saying this, you are the problem (and probably need to log off for a day or two. Delete a social media app maybe.)

Glad people have finally caught up to the reality of this, and EVERYONE who posted about her being a “stalker” owes Amanda an apology.

[kangaracha]

hey do that tag game and tag zom mom

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ♥️

sent: december 16th 2022. once again, i am the queen of finding old posts. and you all said i should tag things so i can find them later, ha.

---

'NEVERMORE' we all knew would come out on top. this is THE brainworm. the piece de resistance. the swansong except i'm not quitting or dying when it's done. hopefully. i haven't told anyone but i'm very aware this could blow out to 200 or 300k if i finish it, and it's. i just love it. unfettered creativity etc. Nevermore is based on the stray kids cinematic universe, the music videos and performances that all connect to tell a story, but even if you don't know stray kids, i think you can read it - it's about a group of boys (a band? a group of musicians?) stumbling into another world that is made of music and controlled by a strict government, and their journey back home to their own time and place, and the things that are left in their wake. it's huge and it's long and it's the first time i've reached 70k and still felt like i have a hand on all the plot lines without leaving plot holes in my wake.

'The Gone And The Gathered' is a zombies fic set in an au where zombietown is treated as an internment camp by Seabrook, also based on ghettos/concentration camps from WW2. Zombies are used to run the power plant and supply electricity and water to Seabrook and have never left the town; werewolves are known wild entities, and some have been captured as they are Useful in maintenance in the power plant. The story follows teenaged Wanda and Zoey through a series of discoveries about their world and the ripple effect this has on Zombietown and the world beyond the walls that they have never seen - and it's about staying quiet and accepting your lot in life, or daring to strike out and create a better future for yourself and your people, even if it might mean sacrificing yourself.

'Turn Your Back On Mother Nature' is a MCU Eternals fic, focused on Druig and Makkari. It contains five canon compliant scenes that, given my own director's cut, I would have added to the movie - not meant to change anything, but just meant to complement the plot and the character's own individual storylines and give more depth and meaning. I feel like I really excel at working within the boundaries given by a certain media and it's one of the main things that keeps me coming back to the challenge of writing fanfiction, and I'm so proud of the job that I did on this - it's well written, my character work really stands out, and I thought the scenes really worked to capture each idea I was trying to express. mwah good job roo.

'To Go Beyond Your Borders' is my pokemon comfort fic. It follows Angie, the champion of Sinnoh but also a disgraced public figure, and a journey of self-discovery as she runs away to Galar to compete in the Gym Challenge there. I started writing this in my depression/anxiety era, and in a lot of roundabout ways a lot of the themes/Angie's struggles are based on challenges I've faced in the last few years, so this fic is. Really cool, and something I keep coming back to as I really like the story I built for it. If more mature pokemon journeys is something you're interested in, this is the fic for you - and the composition of it, with social media interlaced with traditional storytelling, is so fun, I love doing it and coming up with the different bits and where they'll make the most impact. This is just so fun to work on and more people should read it so I make it more of a priority cause seeing this finished one day is going to make me so happy.

'if only we knew (the things we know)' and it's sequel, 'and the chasm grows', two of my long zombies stand-alones, are the fics i always think of first when asked what writing I'm most proud of. The themes are big - death, and knowing that you're going to die soon (cancer related themes, though this isn't about cancer), and facing down the idea of genocide of your entire race. They're very dark, as they have to be, and they're very hopeless, and whenever the odd reader comes along they tell me that they cried, and yet I think I managed to find a little bit of warmth in each, the strings of community and family and comfort that hold on until the very end. I specifically recommend the final scene of chasms, which i wrote in a blinding flash of inspiration and will never be able to recreate - it sticks with me even now, and while I can't remember certain other scenes from these fics, I will never forget that ending, and the way it made me as the writer feel when i finished and looked back on it.

[safehavenpositivity]

LEARNING HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

We’ve all heard it before; “Love yourself first.” It sounds cliché and easier said than done, but the truth is, it’s more important than ever before to put ourselves first. When we choose to put ourselves first, we have more capacity to share our love and support with others.

At first, it can feel strange and even a bit selfish to focus on yourself and make your own needs a priority. It is important to understand that loving yourself first is the cornerstone of your mental and emotional health. It means respecting your needs and values and being aware of when they are not being met. When you take the time to look inward and figure out what makes you feel nurtured, fulfilled and happy, you are in a better place to form meaningful and healthy relationships with others.

Most of us have an ingrained sense that we need to constantly be working on improving and developing our external world—to keep up with social norms and to make sure that our needs are taken care of by other people. However, focusing exclusively on our external environment can often come at the expense of taking care of our own internal needs. This can leave us feeling depleted, unhappy, and vulnerable.

When we choose to love ourselves first, we can show up for the world with our full presence and creativity. Taking time to practice self-love helps us get to know our internal world, make more informed decisions, set boundaries that honor our values and build our emotional resilience. All of these things can help us stay strong in the face of life’s ups and downs.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that the only person you will always be with is yourself. You deserve your own love and acceptance, no matter what. So be gentle with yourself and focus on creating a space of understanding and support. As cliché as it sounds, it’s true—loving yourself first will put you in the best place to spread that love around.

[lizchillsworld]

Hathor/ Venusian

Origin: Venus

Mission:

 Carrying all of the characteristics of Hathor, Venusian starseeds are here to usher in all forms of love, namely unconditional love. Effectively, this is their collective soul mission aka what they will do together as a soul family on Earth. Their capacity to hold and spread love is unrivaled.

Appearance: 

Many articles report Venusians as six to sixteen feet tall, slender beings with white or blonde hair, blue eyes, coveted facial features, with a mythical, ancient look. A starseed will pick a body based upon agreed soul contracts, its past life lessons, energetic aura as well as its level of consciousness. A Venusian starseed can be thin, fat, tall, short, blonde, brunette, white, black, mixed race, and have dark eyes just as much as light. There are no set features per se. The only common Earth feature I’ve seen across Venusian starseeds is the size of the eyes. Venusians tend to have wide-set, owl-like eyes. Huge, but they carry a warm and gentle energy behind them.

Traits: 

YOU ARE INCREDIBLY LOVING BUT KNOW WHEN BOUNDARIES NEED TO BE PUT IN PLACE.--- Speaking of that polarity, Venusian starseeds are some of the biggest givers on this planet. They hold a great deal of compassion, but they also know when it’s being taken advantage of. They can reign in that love and joy just as quickly as they gave it, though this is often unwillingly, either through being hurt or worrying about being hurt again.

YOU’RE EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE. — Venusians are skilled body language readers. You can read people like an open book, and notice when something is wrong with someone else even when they say they’re fine.You are very sensitive and empathic in comparison to other people on Earth.

YOU STRUGGLE TO TRUST HUMANS— You’ve suffered a lot of pain and trauma in the past because of how other people have treated you.You’re also hyper-aware of how malicious and cruel humans can be to one-another and so you have a hard time letting new people get close to you.

YOU HAVE A SIDE YOU RARELY SHOW OTHERS—-Venusians are very enigmatic. They’re the dreamers and believers, and with that comes an incredible depth to their soul.You have a side to you that you rarely open up to others, either from a fear of ‘being too much’ or ‘not being enough’. It might feel as though you’re wearing a mask at times.

MENTALLY, YOU’RE VERY POLARIZED—You can sometimes fall into the trap of black and white, all or nothing thinking. Perfectionism springs to mind. At times, you might wonder if there’s something wrong with you, that’s how extreme this line of thinking can feel. 

YOU’RE VERY PASSIONATE— You’re very curious, and when something interests you, you go all out to discover more about it. You likely have multiple projects on the go at once. Your eyes light up when you talk about your interests and passions, and other people notice it. Some may even envy your level of enthusiasm. 

YOU’RE VERY JOYOUS BUT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK—This is an interesting sign, and one I’m seeing more frequently amongst Venusian starseeds. Venusians are some of the most playful, fun-loving souls you’ll ever come to meet, and yet often they’re worried about how they will be perceived if others were to see the ‘real’ them.

WHEN OTHERS CROSS YOU, THEY’RE GONE FOR GOOD— Out of all the starseed types, Venusians are perhaps the most emotionally sensitive, though this isn’t a bad thing. They know their own divine power and know when it’s time to walk away from an unjust relationship or connection. Once someone has crossed them (often many times), they decide to leave for good. I will add that this is an awakened starseed trait. A soul who is yet to acknowledge their true potential might struggle with this conflict.

YOU VALUE YOUR INNER WORLD MORE THAN THE OUTER— For Venusian starseeds their inner world is rich and full of possibility. They value growth, healing, and embarking on a soulful journey. You spend a good amount of time in reflection, deeply reflecting upon your lived experiences and potential future.

YOU HAVE AN INCREDIBLE CONNECTION WITH THE UNIVERSE— You’re very connected with the inner workings of the universe. You feel as though you and the universe are ‘one’. Never truly separated. You have an unbreakable connection with your spirit guides or soul family, even if you’re not sure who is truly guiding you. You just know there is someone or something guiding you forward on your life’s journey. 

 YOU’RE INTERESTED IN ANCIENT EGYPT — The scriptures, megalithic structures, and old mythology. Ancient Egypt holds a special place in your heart, even if you’re not sure why.You love the intricacies and mysteries that surround this ancient civilization. You might also find yourself drawn to the stories of Lemuria and Atlantis too.

YOU’RE AN OLD SOUL— You feel as though you’ve lived here many times before. You are very mature and wise for your age, likely much wiser than people of the same age. You have an inquisitive, curious mind, can see the bigger picture, and prioritize truth and wisdom over superficial possessions. 

YOU’RE DRAWN TO ALTERNATIVE HEALING MODALITIES— Similar to Pleiadian and Arcturian starseeds, Venusians are incredibly gifted divine healers.You might be drawn to sound and music healing, as well as journaling, reiki, and crystal therapy. You have a naturally soothing presence. 

YOU FEEL DRAWN TO BEAUTY— Venusian starseeds have a tendency to mask reality and everything that seems ugly or displeasing as a way to preserve beauty and harmony in their lives. They notice the magic in the simple things in life, seeing beauty where others wouldn’t.

YOU LOVE EVERYTHING METAPHYSICAL— You have a deep thirst for knowledge, and love discovering new information in the fields of astrology, astronomy, and metaphysics. You’re drawn to the unexplainable and know that there’s more to this world than meets the eye.

YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT MUSIC— Venusian starseeds use music as a form of escapism. Music speaks to their soul in ways other people can’t. You use the lyrics of a song to express how you’re feeling.You might even notice some lyrics stand out more at certain times, as though the universe is directly answering your questions.

YOU HAVE A STRONG CONNECTION TO NATURE, ANIMALS & THE PLANET— You’re a spirit that is grounded by the energy of mother nature. You have a deep love for the animals and the environment, wishing you could help somehow. You might dream of living a life that’s connected to nature, rather than in bustling cities. 

 DREAMS ARE INTENSE— Dreams seem very vivid and real to you (almost too real). For many Venusian starseeds, their dream world is made up of many energetic downloads from their guides. Symbols, colors, numbers, synchronicities – you might experience it all. Whilst the messages might not make sense at first, you come to realize over time that it’s the universe speaking with you. It might even feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience. 

OTHER SIGNS MIGHT INCLUDE;

A draw to Venus in particular

A need to embark on a journey of growth and expansion

A deep desire to complete a mission on Earth, even if they’re not sure what that mission is

Natural healer

Hard time committing to one partner or building long-lasting relationships.

Venusian starseeds are what I call ‘reflectors’. Their energy is magnificently bright and their aura is like a shining beacon on a dark winter’s night. Because of their sensuality, light, and joyous nature, they act like a giant mirror to most people, reflecting back what they chose not to see. This triggers all sorts of unhealed wounds within others; jealousy, envy, greed, hatred.  All of which are usually unjust emotions, but then again, the human mind is never truly rational. It’s why I always say ‘you may not be liked, but at least you’re being true to you’. Never dim your light just to fit in with the dimness of others

Because of their magnetic aura, Venusians tend to attract a lot of narcissistic and manipulative people.

May struggle with self-criticism, judgment, and low self-worth.

When things go wrong, Venusians tend to either bottle their feelings or shame themselves, believing they could have done better. This is caused by a mismatch in soul origin energy. In their original dimension, everything was effortless, manifestations were instantaneous. In a world where everything is heavy, dense, and slow, Venusians may struggle to understand that they’re not in full control of every outcome.

Venusians struggle with conflict and knowing how to handle it without feeling low.

[forthegoodofamerica]

Mental Health Awareness: Steps to Make a Difference

Mental health is a crucial aspect of our overall well-being, yet it often receives less attention than physical health. Awareness about mental health issues has grown in recent years, but many people still struggle to understand the importance of mental health and how to discuss it openly. This blog will explore practical steps we can all take to make a difference in raising mental health awareness and fostering a supportive environment.

Understanding Mental Health

Mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, shaping our interactions with others and the decisions we make. Issues such as anxiety, depression, and stress can significantly impact our quality of life, making it crucial to recognize the signs and seek help when needed.

Increasing awareness of mental health issues is essential for reducing stigma and encouraging individuals to reach out for support. This begins with understanding that mental health affects everyone, regardless of age, gender, or background.

Steps to Raise Awareness

1. Open Conversations

One of the most effective ways to promote mental health awareness is to engage in open conversations. Discussing mental health with friends, family, or colleagues helps normalize the subject. Sharing experiences and stories can foster understanding and encourage others to speak up about their struggles.

Creating supportive environments at home, school, or work can lead to more people feeling comfortable discussing their feelings and seeking help. It’s essential to listen thoughtfully and avoid judgment, making others feel validated in their experiences.

2. Educate Yourself and Others

Education plays a vital role in breaking down misconceptions about mental health. Consider reading books, attending workshops, or looking up reliable resources on the topic. Understanding various mental health disorders, their symptoms, and treatment options can empower you to help others.

You can also share this knowledge with your community. Hosting informational sessions or sharing articles on social media can further spread awareness, providing valuable insights into mental health issues.

3. Support Mental Health Initiatives

Many organizations and initiatives aim to promote mental health awareness. Supporting these efforts can make a big difference. Consider volunteering your time or donating to organizations that focus on mental health education and support.

Participating in local mental health awareness events or campaigns shows solidarity with those affected and helps bring the conversation to the forefront. When communities come together, they can advocate for better resources and access to mental health services.

4. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Promoting healthy coping mechanisms can help individuals manage stress and emotions effectively. Activities such as exercise, mindfulness, and creative expression through art or writing can greatly benefit mental health.

Encouraging friends and family to engage in self-care practices can foster resilience in the face of challenges. Discussing the importance of balance in life, including taking breaks and setting boundaries, is essential for maintaining good mental health.

The Role of Media in Mental Health Awareness

Media plays a significant role in shaping public perceptions of mental health. Responsible reporting on mental health issues can create awareness and empathy. However, sensationalized portrayals often perpetuate stigma.

Supporting media that highlights diverse mental health experiences can help shift perspectives. Engaging with platforms like George Magazine, which addresses mental health topics among other important issues, can provide valuable insights and foster informed discussions.

Get Your Free Copy of George Magazine

To stay updated on vital topics like mental health, sign up for a free copy of George Magazine. The magazine offers insightful articles and discussions that promote awareness and understanding. Join our community today by visiting George Magazine.

Why George Magazine?

George Magazine focuses on various issues, including mental health, social justice, and culture. By signing up, you will gain access to articles that explore different perspectives on pressing topics. This connection promotes awareness and encourages critical thinking. Remember, this is not a subscription offer; we just want to share valuable information with you.

To see more on this topic, check out Issue 22, where you can find thoughtful discussions about mental health and more.

Encouraging a Supportive Community

Being mindful of mental health issues is essential for creating supportive environments. When individuals feel safe discussing their challenges, it leads to healthier relationships and communities. Together, we can foster a culture of openness and understanding, ensuring that mental health becomes a priority for everyone.

From initiating conversations to supporting mental health initiatives, each step taken can bring us closer to a society where mental health is openly discussed and prioritized. Remember, raising awareness is a collective effort that benefits everyone.

Stay connected and informed on mental health and other important topics by signing up for your free copy of George Magazine at George Magazine.

[yuvaap]

How to Deal with Jealous People: A Comprehensive Guide

Dealing with jealousy can be challenging, especially when it comes from people in our personal or professional lives. Jealousy can lead to negativity, strained relationships, and even affect our overall well-being. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore effective strategies to handle jealous people and maintain a positive mindset. Whether it's dealing with jealous friends, coworkers, or family members, these tips will help you navigate through difficult situations with grace and confidence.

Understanding Jealousy

What Causes Jealousy?

Jealousy often stems from feelings of insecurity or a fear of losing something valuable. It can manifest in various forms, such as envy, resentment, or possessiveness. By understanding the root causes of jealousy, you can approach the situation with empathy and compassion.

Recognizing Jealous Behavior

Identifying signs of jealousy is crucial to effectively dealing with it. Some common behaviours include constant comparison, passive-aggressive comments, undermining achievements, or spreading rumours. Being aware of these indicators will enable you to address the issue promptly.

Strategies to Deal with Jealous People

Cultivate Self-Confidence

One of the most effective ways to deal with jealous people is to build your own self-confidence. When you are secure in your abilities and achievements, the impact of others' jealousy diminishes. Focus on your strengths, set goals, and celebrate your accomplishments to boost your self-esteem.

Respond with Empathy and Understanding

Rather than reacting negatively to jealous individuals, practice empathy. Try to understand their perspective and the underlying reasons for their jealousy. Responding with kindness and compassion can help defuse tense situations and encourage open communication.

Set Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries is essential when dealing with jealous people. Communicate your limits and expectations firmly but respectfully. By doing so, you can protect your own emotional well-being and maintain healthy relationships.

Avoid Feeding into the Jealousy

Jealousy thrives on attention and validation. Refrain from engaging in negative conversations or fueling the jealousy further. Instead, focus on positive interactions and redirect the conversation towards constructive topics.

Surround Yourself with a Supportive Network

Building a strong support system can help counteract the effects of jealousy. create a support system by surrounding yourself with people who always encourage and uplift you.  Their positivity and understanding will provide a balanced perspective and help you navigate challenging situations.

Practicing Self-Care

Prioritize Your Well-being

Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial when dealing with jealous people. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Try to maintain a healthy lifestyle by regularly exercising, eating a balanced meal, and getting quality sleep.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

In some cases, dealing with intense jealousy might require professional guidance. A therapist or counsellor can provide valuable insights and help you develop effective coping strategies. Don't hesitate to seek assistance if you feel overwhelmed or unable to handle the situation on your own.

Conclusion:

Dealing with jealous people can be challenging, but by understanding the underlying causes, employing effective strategies, and prioritising self-care, you can navigate these situations successfully. Remember, it's important to maintain a positive mindset and focus on your personal growth and well-being. By implementing these techniques, you can rise above the negativity and maintain healthy relationships while dealing with jealous people in your life.By following this comprehensive guide on how to deal with jealous people, you will gain the confidence and resilience necessary to handle these situations with grace and compassion.

SOURCE: How to Deal with Jealous People

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 16

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 16

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3100 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost…

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9   Part 10   Part 11   Part 12   Part 13   Part 14  Part 15

gif credit: @benbarnxs

Part 16

You were straddling Billy, riding him, your hips undulating atop his body. His fingers tightly gripped your waist, getting ready to take charge so you were underneath him, but you refused to submit. Instead you grabbed his hands and pinned it above his head. As you hovered above him, he arched up to kiss you but you shifted back, instead staring down at him intently. He growled at you before he rolled over unexpectedly, taking you along with him.

As he thrust into you, harder and rougher each time, you began to slide off the bed. In your new position, you caught sight of Adam on the floor. His corpse was wrapped up in a rug, only his head sticking out-

“Hey.” Billy pulled you up so you were now sitting across his lap, facing him. “Look at me. Only me.”

Only a few seconds ago he was biting you as you clawed at him, both of you desperate to possess each other. Your movements had been savage, animalistic even, but now Billy was kissing you languidly, his hand brushing the back of your hair while the other settled on the small of your back. You were directing the rhythm of the thrusts now, setting a slower pace so you could fully enjoy the feel of his cock stretching your insides oh-so-tantalizingly. Your forehead braced against his, you closed your eyes and lost yourself to the flood of emotions that overcame you.

***

It was after midnight. Billy had come home with you and both of you were in bed, you nestled against him while he spooned you from behind. Even though you were tired, you couldn’t sleep. Your brain was working overtime processing everything that happened in the last few hours. He stirred next to you, dropping a tender kiss on your bare shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” he murmured. You may have been fully alert but he sounded absolutely exhausted.

“Are you sure they’ll be thorough with the cleaning?”

“Yeah.” Throwing his arm over you, he covered your hand with his. “These guys are not amateurs. They know what they’re doing. There won’t be any traces of us left in that room.”

“And Adam’s body-”

“Will be disposed of.”

“But how do you know you can trust these guys? What’s stopping them from blackmailing-”

“’cause money talks, babe. That crew is very well paid.” He squeezed your palm. “I’ve used them in the past. No trouble yet.”

With his military career you were already aware of his violent past, but you also sensed he had a long hit list aside from that. When he’d realized your plans for Adam, he hadn’t been remotely shocked at the idea of you killing another person. In fact, as you stabbed Adam repeatedly, Billy had looked at you with such pride and reverence that it had left you breathless.

“What we did tonight, you know what that means, don’t you?”

His voice brought you out of your reverie. You exhaled a deep breath, drawing circles on his palm. “That we’re bad people.”

“No, we’re survivors. We take down anyone who gets in our way.”

“He didn’t come after you,” you reminded him. “You didn’t have to get involved.”

He turned you around to face him. “Nobody threatens you and gets to live after that.”

Your heart pounded in your chest. When he looked at you with such intensity, you were almost ready to believe anything.

He cradled your face, his thumb caressing your bottom lip. “We’re connected now. Forever. Because of tonight.”

You didn’t understand how his words could evoke such conflicting emotions within you. On one hand your stomach fluttered with excitement, he was saying things you’d wanted to hear for a long time, but then there was the fear. Doubt. Uncertainty. You forced a smile, hoping some levity would lighten the situation. “You make it sound like we’re married or something.”

Disgust flooded over his face. “Fuck, no. Marriages end. One day you’re bragging about being in love, next it’s all over. It’s not based on anything real. But we are.” He reached for your hand, which was resting on the pillow between you and him, and intertwined his fingers through yours. “I saw you tonight, the real you. And you saw me. No pretenses, no boundaries. And you didn’t run. You didn’t even flinch.”

“Neither did you.” You lifted your eyebrow. “You were rock hard.”

“I always am around you.”

His words made the heat rise in your cheeks, which he noticed right away. Giving you a teasing smile, he leaned in closer to give you a peck on the cheek. “Are you blushing?”

“Shut up.”

Billy’s eyes remained locked on you, simply staring at you with sleepy eyes. “I don’t like who I was when I thought I lost you. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t work. Every time I closed my eyes I imagined you fucking this other guy, kissing him. Even the thought of you talking to him made me want to burn it all down.”

Your heart ached at how tired he looked. Scooting closer, you started massaging his forehead. When he closed his eyes, you dropped a gentle kiss on each of his eyelids, the beauty mark just below his right eye, before snuggling him tightly in your arms. “Sleep, Billy.”

“You’ll be here when I wake up?” he murmured drowsily.

You smiled. “It is my apartment.”

He didn’t respond, already fast asleep. You tried to do the same but couldn’t; there were too many thoughts running around in your brain. You had assumed you’d feel guilty about taking a life; you didn’t. You remembered the vicious, contemptuous anger in Adam’s eyes when he’d held you at gunpoint, and how he’d threatened to kill others in your team, and all you felt was relief. Relief that he was dead and no longer a danger to you.

Billy stirred next to you, drawing your attention. You reached out to hold him, your touch feather-light so as not to wake him up. He looked calm and peaceful, unlike the haunted and distraught way he appeared earlier in the hotel room. It was still hard to digest that he’d been so unhinged at the thought of losing you. But the thing that resonated with you the most was that he hadn’t been able to hurt you despite all of the anger he’d felt. Growing up the way you had, you were always on alert for things to turn violent at any moment. One wrong comment or an innocent gesture - hell even a lone pair of sock on the floor - had the potential to trigger your father’s temper and turn things violent. During those moments his rage was uncontrollable, and as a result you always worried about how people reacted when they were furious. The fact that Billy hadn’t hit you even though he’d been completely enraged made you realize you were physically safe with him.

Maybe emotionally as well. For so long you’d had difficulty believing he could reciprocate your feelings yet you couldn’t ignore how devastated he’d been. Nor could you rationalize away his emotions. It still felt surreal but he did truly care about you, and the thought filled you with warmth and made your heart soar with happiness.

You brushed your lips against his, hoping Billy’s comforting presence next to you would help you relax. However, fifteen minutes later sleep still alluded you. Eventually you decided to do something useful and work instead. Carefully sliding out of bed so you didn’t disturb him, you tip-toed out of the bedroom. Immediately you felt the soreness in your body, an after effect of the rough sex you had with Billy in the hotel room earlier. Grabbing a nearby throw, you were soon nestled in your favourite spot on the chaise lounge, working away on your laptop.

An hour later you heard footsteps behind you and you turned around to find Billy yawning, clad in boxers, his hair all ruffled.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” he grumbled.

You scooted over to give him space to sit on the chaise but he seemed to have other ideas in mind as he took a seat behind you. You found yourself settled between his legs, your back nestled against his chest, as he caressed down the length of your arms.

“I couldn’t sleep. Figured I might as well do something useful.”

“What corporate shit are you working on?” he teased, playfully grabbing your laptop to look at your screen. You smacked his arm right away, shutting the screen and pushing the laptop away.

Billy purposely rubbed his face against the base of your neck and you started giggling at the sensation of his prickly beard on your bare skin. “Stop,” you whined. “It tickles.” you squealed loudly, trying to jump out of his arms but he held you in a tight grip.

Finally he stopped, and as you struggled to catch your breath, you slapped his arm playfully. “You’re such a jerk.”

He chuckled, hugging you tightly from behind. “That’s for ignoring all my calls since Tuesday.”

“I’m still not unblocking your number,” you retorted. His beard scraped along your shoulder, making you squeal again. “Okay, fine. Sorry!”

“Swear that you’re not gonna block me again.”

You turned around in his arms, resting on your knees as your arms looped around his neck. Smiling down at him, you nuzzled your nose with his. “Swear that you won’t act like an asshole again.”

“Can’t really do that.”

“Exactly.” He tucked your hair behind your ear. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the tender affection on his face, the warmth of his gaze spreading slow, languid heat throughout your body. “You should go back to bed. You still look tired.”

“I’ve had a rough week.”

You pouted your lips. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Want to make it up to me?” he asked, cocking his eyebrow at you.

”How? By sucking you off?” you teased, running your fingers through his hair.

“Move in with me.”

Your hands stilled on him, finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden. At first you thought he was joking but the solemn expression on his face made you realize otherwise. You moved away, putting much needed distance between the two of you.

“That’s not funny, Billy.”

Maintaining a rigid posture on the chaise lounge, he shrugged his shoulders. “Not meant to be. I’m dead serious.”

“You know that’s ridiculous, right?”

“Why? ‘cause I wanna keep you safe?”

“The threat is gone. I took care of it.”

“We took care of it,” he said pointedly. “A threat which you didn’t even tell me about.”

“I explained that to you already.” Feeling defensive, you started pacing the floor. “You promised you’d have your guy stop tailing me.”

“Sure. As soon as I know you’re not gonna keep things from me again. You moving in will help with that.”

“So if I don’t move in, you’ll have me followed 24/7?” Anger surged through you, you were so furious you wanted to scream. “That’s fucking blackmail.”

“Relax. No need to be so dramatic about it.”

You grabbed the closest cushion you had and flung it at him, enraged by his patronising tone. “We barely know each other-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he interjected, finally moving to stand up. His eyes were pitch black, his jaw clenched. “You and I killed someone tonight! You took my hand, my knife, and we stabbed the bastard in the heart with it, together. We fucked while he drew his last breath and now you’re feeding me this bullshit?” He stormed towards you. “No! I’ve seen your darkness and you’ve seen mine. There’s no one else in this world that knows us better than we know each other.”

You shook your head, flabbergasted by his reaction. “This is insane. I can’t move in with you. We haven’t even gone out on a real date because you said I was boring!”

“If you believe that then you really are a fucking idiot!”

You stiffened, his words ringing in your ear. Fucking idiot. Something your father used to call you repeatedly, his tone full of hate and vitriol when he lashed out at you. It started with a fucking idiot then spiralled into bitch and whore and everything else hurtful under the sun. You swore to yourself you’d never accept being spoken to like that by another person yet here you were, being insulted again by someone who was supposed to care about you.

You retreated back from Billy, careful to keep your distance from him, and leveled him with a cold glance. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again.” 

Your voice may have been deceptively calm but there was a storm brewing inside you. You desperately needed some space. As you moved away from Billy and headed to the kitchen, he tried to block your path but you immediately pushed him away. “Don’t touch me!”

You quickly sidestepped past him and entered the kitchen, heading for the cabinet where you kept your bottle of whiskey. Pouring yourself a glass, you slowly sipped the liquid to soothe your frayed nerves and forget the memories Billy had just unleashed in you.

***

Even as the words left his mouth, Billy knew he’d made a mistake. He regretted what he said instantly, even more so when he realized how much the words had stung you. The last thing he wanted was to cause you pain but he couldn’t seem to help himself. The more he tried to hold on to you the more you slipped through his fingers.

After giving you a few minutes to calm down, he entered the kitchen behind you. You were standing in the opposite corner, drinking the hard stuff, which further signalled how shaken you were. Billy knew Scotch wasn’t something you enjoyed, you only drank it when you were messed up.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I shouldn’t have said that. It won’t happen again. I swear.”

You didn’t acknowledge him, and it hurt like hell.

“When I think about you pulling away from me, it makes me lose my mind.” He swallowed audibly, desperately trying to get through to you. “I’m all in when it comes to us but it feels like you always have one foot out the door.” He took hesitant steps towards you while your eyes still remained on the countertop, refusing to meet his gaze. “I keep fucking up but I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just can’t lose you, Y/N.”

“I’m not built like you, Billy,” you finally spoke, turning to look at him. “I have doubts. I’m constantly dealing with insecurities. It takes me time to trust people, and I just can’t rush into things head-on.”

“And I’m someone who hustles. I go after everything I want with guns blazing. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have Anvil.”

“But I’m not a thing, Billy. I’m a person, and you can’t push me into doing stuff I’m not ready for.”

He exhaled a resigned sigh. “I know. It’s ‘cause I get paranoid when it comes to you. You’re a closed book and you never tell me anything.” His eyes scanned yours, his stomach clenched with anxiety. “I don’t even know how you feel about me.” It was the first time he’d voiced that thought, something he didn’t even realize he felt until this very moment. You wanted him, that he knew, and you’d even confessed you loved him once but he didn’t really believe in that bullshit. What mattered to him was if you needed him as much as he did you. The idea of not having you in his life drove him insane, but did you feel the same way? He didn’t think so and it bothered the fuck out of him.

You set your glass down on the counter before reaching out to cradle his face, your soulful eyes meeting his emotional gaze. “I want to be with you, Billy. I like you so much that it scares me.”

Your words brought with them a tidal wave of relief that swept over him like a calm breeze. It was like he could breathe again. He pulled you close, his forehead against yours as he simply held you. “Don’t be scared, babe. I don’t bite.”

“That is a complete fucking lie,” you retorted. “I still have the marks from earlier to prove it.” Your smile faded again as you held his stare. “But I need you to be patient with me. You can’t bully me or get mad if I don’t want to rush into things.”

He nodded his head. “I won’t.”

“I’ve only ever had myself to rely on. And the thought of trusting you? Relying on you? It scares the hell out of me. Because there’s always a voice in my head that’s reminding me I need to go back to being alone when we end things.”

“I need to kill that voice.”

You chuckled, reaching out to loop your arms behind his back. “It shuts up eventually. It did in the hotel room when I saw how fucked up you were without me. That’s when it sunk in you actually do like me.”

“It took you that long to believe it?”

You gave him a sad smile. “Yeah. You did tell me I was boring.”

He groaned right away, regret washing over him. He should never have said those fucking words to you. “You’re not boring. You’re smart. And hot.” He kissed your left cheek. “And sweet. And funny. And mine.” Then the right cheek. “And when you lecture me about cybersecurity, I get so hard.”

“Whatever. You’re the one who wanted to know more about the topic,” you grumbled.

He grinned, giving you a tender peck on the lips. “I can listen to you talk for hours and hours-“

“Shut up.” You pressed your palm over his mouth.

Wrapping his arms around you, he lifted you off the ground and started carrying you back to the bedroom. “Forever actually, if you’re naked.”

“Not once have I lectured you naked.”

He dropped you on the bed. “Yeah, exactly. Time you start.” He jumped into bed, rubbing his beard on your face again as you started squealing.

A few minutes later you were both panting for air, staring up at the ceiling. “Just to make it clear, I’m not moving in,” you huffed through laboured breaths.

He turned to look at you, smirking. “Fine, but I’m taking you out tonight. Proper date and all.”

The most beautiful smile graced your face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You were a ray of sunshine beaming up at him and Billy’s heart felt so full he worried it would explode. If he could, he’d freeze this moment forever.

Part 17

A/N - As always, your wonderful feedback is what keeps me inspired to write and post consistently. I was initially nervous about this chapter because the characters experience a gamut of emotions but it was necessary. I hope you like and enjoy this chapter. Feedback, as always, is very much appreciated and feeds my soul :)

Tag list:

@yourfavoritefruitybitch @voyevoda-thejoy @adreamemporium @queenmalhinewahine @gubleryum @galaxyjane @xceafh@maralisa124@tomhollandisabae @daybleedsintonightfa11 @lil-baby-nor @all-art-is-quite-useless @tanyaherondale @nashibirne @dour-trash @thetallassgirl @athenamikaelson @agent-jbarnes @primadonnasdream @aleksanderwh0r3 @elisemockingbird @nihilismworld @archisur@nemesis729 @lysawayne@kaqua @ladyblablabla @lemasonda@advictedtohim @24-martie @tarkanelima-blog @shinebrightlikeafanbase @krystal-clear1 @damalseer@dontjinx-it@darkishx @wanderlusting-about-life @thatguppienamedbae @happypepperdog @bat-revival @sassygirl25 @consulting–heroes @the-celestial-kitsune @mackaywhore @ablxssm @competitive-dust @red-head011 @exo-1204 @sunsetenigma @millieb-3199 @chatnain @licensedcheek @tinkertailor1212 @vertesalope @safetyhtom @acourtofglassandroses @eliwinchester-barnes @finnismyoriginalsin @weallhaveadestiny @beananacake @beauty-and-the-beast97 @smurfelle @fire-treasure-iii @charly-0 @kestrafagnor @pigwidgeonxo @damagelove @allegra-writes @pensandthings @jad3djay @batshitbarnes @kashimayuki @secretsthathauntus @odetostep @awesome-eccia @mackaywhore @stories-you-wont-hear @vvsdiamond28 @supernaturalcat7 @arieltwvdtohamflash @iknownoqueenbutthequeeninme​​    @devs-stufff @ticosas @moodacheeks @myakai13 @carlywhomever @fvckthisbxtchup @its-evita-here @papapapadumb @talesfrommycell @bat-luna-cat @fific7 @elluvians @dailydoseofchoices @everythinghappens-love @papapapadumb @mylife-love-and-other-things @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @ancientbeing10 @natty2245 @stuckysavedmylive @kasslucilfer @simp-for-ben-barners @originaldeputycalzoneegg @bdffkierenwalker @kimoranelson03 @sadbi-hours @haushinka27  @haushinka27    @caylaxwrites   @extraneousred​   @agentmstark​   @crazywitchkitty​   @its-an-idea-not-a-blog  @partypoison00    @fictional-hooman​   @hoglady   @helnicks    @luckyfreakfishpeach   @chiquitita18   @rachlovesactors  @icecream50055    @doloreschanal​   @lupinsfavslytherin​    @swthxrry    @wanderlusting-about-life   @dreamer7black  @leahnicole1219 @superawesomegeek @weallhaveadestiny   @toxicenough @tiiffanym  @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind @cap-just-said-language​

[videogamefandomdump]

This is a personal comment I want to make about the game Your Boyfriend.

Setting aside what is happening with the creator of the game, Fuboo (that's another can of worms that I'm not gonna open here) I want to give my personal interpretation of the events that happen in the game (well, what we know of it so far)

I think this game is doing kind of a good job showing what happens when you have a dangerous stalker. Wanna know why?

By the third day, it doesn't matter if you've been kind to Peter or not, if you told him to stay away or if you let him live with you, he will kill someone, and then threaten /hurt / kidnap you.

And that's a good thing to show. Because if the nice route showed him being harmless and kind it wouldn't have the same impact.

If you meet someone like him in real life, the only way to get out of it is to get help as soon as possible because, as you can see in the game, things can spiral down pretty fast.

No matter what you do, Peter is a dangerous person, he's been stalking you for quite a while, invading your personal space, and will not hesitate to hurt you. Because he doesn't want you to be happy, he just wants you.

And you can't change him with your love. He doesn't want to listen to you and it's NOT your duty to try either. Even with all the goodness in your heart, you owe him nothing.

Think of it this way. You know he's a yandere. You know he'll do bad things to you/ your friends. So you think that giving him what he wants will get you the good ending.

A person demands that you make them happy at the expense of your safety/health/friends so you may think that giving them what they want will be enough to keep them at bay.

But when the time comes and they set an unreasonable rule like "You can't go there I don't like you talking to x person" or "I'm going to incapacitate you mentally/phisically so you depend on me and you can't leave me" what are you gonna do?? At that point they're already in a position to hurt you and they will!

A person that doesn't respect your boundaries will feel entitled to break all of them and they'll make you feel guilty for even having them in the first place.

The fact that Peter is somewhat aware he's in a game will probably affect the story, if the game will ever be finished, but it doesn't really matter for the point I'm trying to make here.

So far I've seen the YB fandom being welcoming and kind, with lots of artists and writers that this game helped to inspire. That's great! We're still in fiction territory and no one is really getting stalked/threatened, this is all a fun What If scenario that's fun to explore. I've seen pieces of fanfictions where Peter's dangerous tendencies are toned down and he's just your clingy jealous dorky awkward boyfriend, and I've seen others where he's a creepy dangerous maniac. Nothing new under the sun, just like many other fandoms.

The thing I want to make clear though is that while having fun we must not forget the fact that Canon Peter is a bad person. He does horrible things. He tries to seem kind and cute, and boi he is good at it, but it's all a lie. The moment you two are alone he immediately tries to get what he wants without even thinking about asking.

He doesn't care about your feelings.

Is this game about all of this? Idk, nah, it may as well be anothe Doki Doki Literature Club in the end. I'm not saying this is the key to understand the entire game. I'm just rambling about something I think is important to say. Have fun, this is a game, don't hate on people over it. Since I saw the trailer for this game I had this thought and I wanted to share it. I hope I didn't offend anyone, I just think that it's neat that this game could help spread awareness about something that could happen to anyone.

Ok, the post is over. It was a lot and not very coherent, I know. I was kind of afraid of writing this but.. heh, let's give it a shot. I'll be glad to hear your opinions, if you think I'm wrong about something or if you agree. Also forgive me if I made a grammatical error I am dumb.

I know it's not that deep, but the ground was soft and I had a shovel.

Edit: just wanted to add one more thing, sorry ^-^' it's been a while and my personal view has evolved

Yes we can see YB does care about your feelings, but only as long as it's convenient for him. He wants you to be happy With Him, but if you're not it's not like he's gonna accomodate you or anything. Yes he'll be a good boyfriend if you play along, but the moment you try to distance yourself he suddently doesn't see the problem in hurting you phisically & emotionally.

That's why I said he doesn't love you, despite love being an integral part of being a yandere, because I personally see it as an obsessive infatuation and don't like to use the word love for it. I really should have said that before >_>

So, if someone cares about you only when it benefits them, do they actually care at all? Well it's like a spectrum, and by talking about it in binary "Yes or No" I've been a little too strict. Emotions are complicated. I personally say we are dangerously towards the No. But.

Regardless of how much someone like this cares about you, my point is that you still don't owe them anything. Their feelings are not your responsability.

[valtsv]

Yeah I know what you feel I see stories popping up every so often about people saying horrible things in twitch streamers chat and they do nothing to stop it and I’m like I’d have a nervous breakdown if there was so much racism in my chat and then at the same time I see people that Stan creators and I’m like shit even if the creator doesn’t turn out to be horrible it’s still like almost a cult but the creator didn’t even want to make one. No need to answer this ask just wanted you to know others have a similar opinion on the situation

yeah. the issue with addressing parasocial relationships

is that they're extremely complicated to discuss, because everyone involved in them past the point where boundaries get blurred and ignored is in some way a victim because they're not healthy for anyone. and anything you do as a content creator feeds into them. and no matter what you say or do some people will continue doing things you've said you're uncomfortable with because it doesn't match up with the version of you they've formed a relationship with in their heads. or to get a reaction out of you because the possibility of receiving your attention, no matter how realistic, is a major part of what fuels a parasocial relationship. (which is not me saying content creators shouldn't address things like racism and other forms of bigotry in their fanbases, but there's only so much they can do and even if they try to block or ban as many people as possible to discourage them there's always some people who'll slip past because there's just too much for one person or even a team of mods to keep up with 24/7).

and at the same time content creators do use these relationships to make money through fan meetups, selling merch, random interactions online, etc. which in a way can't be helped because that's how they make their careers but does arguably exploit people who've fallen off the parasocial deep end and need help and support getting out of that mindset. but also any creator with a platform cannot bear responsibility for or offer support to every single person who claims to be a fan of them and in fact could cause more harm than good by feeding into that desire for attention.

parasocial relationships can drive people to do increasingly desperate and unreasonable things in pursuit of that (entirely human, but often unreasonable and unhealthy in parasocial relationships) need to receive validation, which is unfortunately just the nature of online spaces to develop because we all post and interact with each other at least partly to receive the validation of other people liking our content and, by extension, especially in parasocial relationships, us.

i'm speaking from experience. i used to be addicted to receiving validation online (and i am a former addict, so i don't make that comparison without understanding the implications) because there is a high that comes with seeing the numbers of likes and shares and positive comments on your content go up and it is possible to get addicted to that rush. i did, and it took me the better part of a year after realizing how negatively it was affecting my life and therapy - no, i'm not kidding - to start to make progress and no longer be obsessed with pleasing strangers online who know very little about me and don't really care about me even if they think they do (and this is not in any way an attack on my followers, i'm sure many of you are good, kind, helpful people, but at the same time the concept of me that exists in your minds and you care about is a parasocial one.)

this is even harder if you're a content creator who has a career online. i don't make any money from posting on tumblr. so it doesn't matter if i produce less content or don't consistently interact with the people who follow me for that content. but if you do, it's not easy to step away from that and try to recover from and distance yourself from parasocial relationships and set boundaries when your whole career relies partly on them. even if it gets to a point where, like me, they're harming your wellbeing. it took me months of obsessively checking my social media and follower count and having panic attacks when i couldn't or my activity dropped, struggling to sleep and having anxiety attacks because i couldn't think of enough fun new content to share, struggling in classes and at work because my attention was elsewhere, and feeling despair to the point of having depressive episodes brought on by people saying hurtful things about me or criticizing me about things that weren't my fault and i couldn't control, before i even considered that i needed to do something about the parasocial hell i'd dug myself into. and i don't make a single cent. if i did, it would have been a lot harder. maybe even impossible.

this is really just a ramble with no conclusion but it just frustrates me and makes me really sad that parasocial relationships can cause so much lasting harm to people, both content creators and their fans, and there's not really any solution except seeking therapy one day and hopefully being able to heal from the damage. although i do think talking more openly about and spreading awareness of parasocial relationships would also help people find support and think more carefully about how they interact with people and consume content online (without ruining the fun!).

[ddarker-dreams]

Yandere Behavior / Childe.

→ Yandere MBTI type: CAHL.

“Let’s just say that the nicer you are, the better off you’ll be with me. Pretend if you must. Whatever it takes, sweetie. I want to see you put the effort in. You’ll do that for me, won’t you?” 

Cruel / Reverent 

Childe fluctuates heavily between the two, with a slight leaning towards cruel. A lot of how he acts when you’re around will depend on you. On times where you’re being agreeable, or at the very least watching your tongue, he can make for almost pleasant company. He’s talkative and engaging with his conversations. There’s still that constant fear in the back of your mind that something might set him off, but it takes a lot to truly get underneath his skin. 

He tells you upfront that you’ll get what you make from this. Childe thinks himself fair — he’s not some monster that derives pleasure solely from harming you, he says — he could treat you well. Like royalty, even. All you need to do is be open to his advances. Easy, right? He sure seems to think so. This is a person who has, essentially, been acting his entire life. So he believes you can do the same. 

You can quickly tell that he wreaks of self-entitlement. Rarely has the 11th Harbinger experienced adamant refusal. The Fatui underneath him bend to his every whim, even those in superior positions to Childe often come around once he’s spoken with them enough. There’s something inherently frustrating about how you refuse to do the same. He’s poured far more time, resources, and dedication into his pursuit of you; where is his return? He won’t come outright and say he expects things until you’re too involved to get out. 

Aware / Delusional

Childe prefers to look at things realistically. There’s little time to explore possibilities and have introspective revelations, he wants concrete results. That’s why, for all his whimsy, he takes a standard approach to “romancing” you. He commits to what’s supposed to work. Flirting, complimenting, taking you on grandiose dates (on his dime, naturally), everything that’s supposed to work in this situation. He knows that you’re not nearly as invested in him as he is in you. Childe sees that more like a roadblock to overcome, not a sign that he should quit and respect your boundaries. 

In a way, there’s something more sinister about the fact he knows he makes you uncomfortable. It’s a nice power rush. He doesn’t want to push his luck, but he can’t deny how cute it is when you try not to upset him due to his reputation and affiliation. As a Harbinger that frequently interacts with the public, he understands how others might perceive him, and how this inevitably would spread to you. Childe also knows how he’s gotten people to come around before. You’re just... an indefinite work in progress. 

While he thinks it’s endearing that you’re cognizant of potentially upsetting him, he doesn’t want you to be a shivering little thing that shrinks away in his presence. That’s why he puts some effort into appearing harmless. Childe doesn’t want to lose the edge of respect you have for him — no matter how begrudging it may be — so he doesn’t infantilize himself either. He goes for the happy medium. Doing small things to humanize himself in your eyes, while still maintaining the fact that you shouldn’t try to cross him.

Manipulative / Honest

Childe sits between being manipulative and honest most days. He’s the type to play a devil’s advocate bit about how lying by omission isn’t really lying, he’s just simply picking and choosing what you need to know! That’s how he phrases it, at least. He’s only a thin margin over on the honest side because he makes his intentions with you known right away. There’s no mistaking that he’s pursuing a romantic relationship with you, he makes it clear enough that even the densest person would realize it. 

That’s not to say he isn’t manipulative. Childe thinks that the best approach here is to lay out his expectations so there’s no misunderstanding on your part, hell, he’ll even let you pitch some things you want (if you’re not in hot water with him). Sure, it might hurt his pride that he has to buy your affection, but he sees it as a means to an end. If that’s what it takes, then so be it. He’ll tell you outright that you can use him all you want. Of course, with the addition that you’ll be playing with fire, all said in a strikingly lighthearted manner for such a dark statement.

It’s all about establishing the supposed “give and take”. He’s a member of the Fatui, a businessman in some regards, someone who knows how to weave through debts. You’ll realize a little too late that he’s taking far more than he’s giving. However, by then, you’ll be too involved with him to do anything about it. Thus ensues the guilt-tripping and mildly threatening language. Hey, you agreed to this, didn’t you? What’s with the change of heart? You aren’t seriously thinking about breaking off a deal with a Fatui Harbinger, are you?

Strict / Lenient 

This is another factor that depends heavily on you. He worms his way into lenient over strict just due to how less kidnapping happy he is comparison to other yanderes. As he’ll readily describe, he likes “Seeing you in your natural environment”, a weird way of saying you can continue living your life on some conditions. This is upped even more so if you have a close relationship with your family, he’s got a soft spot for that. You might find this but a great deal of pressure on you. His rules are flippant and almost inane, to the point you can’t help but wonder if he’s setting you up to fail. Childe swears he’s not. Believe him if you want. 

There’s just something so exciting about how you’re constantly looking over your shoulder! Aw, you just flinched when a guy tried to talk to you. Cute. You must be constantly thinking about him. There won’t be a second in your life that goes by without Childe’s demands echoing in your mind. He doesn’t just leave you to your own devices, you’re constantly under surveillance, something he doesn’t even try to hide. He’s got the resources available to keep tabs on you and readily uses them. His favorite is popping up unexpectedly and sticking to your side all day though, nothing beats it. 

Kidnapping isn’t entirely off the table though. Childe would just really prefer if it didn’t come to that since it limits the entertaining situations he’d get to see you in. He kind of dangles it over your head like a punishment in waiting should you act out. Honestly, there’s a good chance that you might move in with him “willingly” just to catch a break. It’s anxiety-inducing to juggle living your daily life all the while adhering to his expectations. Childe is playing the long con; he intends to chip away at your resistance piece by piece. 

[sweetbunnykook]

Hey so I know you’ve just come back from a long break and you have so so many asks to get through but I just wanted to say that your work is actually changing my life.

So a few months ago at work, we got this temporarily promoted coworker who only slotted in to my level because we were so understaffed. I’m nice to the kid because he seems shy with the other women in my department, and we’re closest in age and both fluent in English. He warms up quickly and then the weirdest thing happens. We pass by each other and he flashes a smile and smt in me is reminded of OY JK. Not kook himself, but specifically OY jk. At this point he hasn’t done anything alarming, but there’s a gut alarm going off in me and I cannot shake the image of OY jk out. After that, I’m still friendly, but I stay on high alert, dropping discouraging hints when I can, and avoiding hanging out with him alone.

Then, like two days later, things start escalating like crazy. He finds my number from the company payroll and texts me constantly, expecting me to respond immediately and accusing me of being angry at him when I don’t respond for ten minutes. He offers to do things for me but then turns around and guilt trips me with it, and gets crazy mood swings whenever he senses me “rejecting” him in any way. Ofc I’m terrified and frustrated, but I also want to stay professional and give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s just immature and lonely. I also just tend to take the path of least resistance, so normally I would just pretend everything’s fine and placate him more to avoid upsetting him.

BUT because he set off some OY alarm in me, I was like “ok I have to shut this shit down fast before I get in the habit of shifting my boundaries for him.” And persisted with setting boundaries and letting my friends know what was going on, so that if anything happened, police would know where to search. I managed to keep things professional while never being somewhere alone with him, and blocked his ass fast after his time in our department was over.

I know that when we explore taboo/toxic/dubcon/noncon themes in literature/art it can be hard to toe that line of exploration and condoning that behavior. Most women who write about and consume these themes have been victimized by it before, so I always saw it as a way to heal and take control back, to spread awareness and highlight these red flags while being completely safe. Still, there’s a stigma about all the media in these genres encouraging and condoning toxic, abusive behavior. Even for authors who know they are intending the exact opposite, with creative work, there’s always going to be some anxiety about not being able to control how others interpret your work and your intentions. So I just wanted to let you know that your work—how vividly you’re able to capture OY jk and the others in all their flaws, idiosyncrasies, subtle and overt manipulations, intentions, and mindsets—has given me the ability to instinctively spot red flags much quicker, and the determination to not let myself get trapped in them again.

I still love your fucked up characters and I’ll still joke about wanting an attentive bf like OY jk on hard days, but I know better irl. I just thought it might be worth something to you to know that you’re one of the authors who can explore these themes in a way that keeps their readers safer, instead of grooming them to fall for these traps. I seriously don’t know when this super oddly specific OY jk alert system got installed in me, but I’m very thankful for it. Thanks for keeping me safe, and I hope the people you choose to keep in your life are doing the same for you ❤️

I have read this ask in my inbox many times and I can finally answer. Thank you so much for supporting OY and also for recognizing that my stories are purely fantasy. In real life, these situations are extremely dangerous to the point that it can become often times life-threatening. I can't say enough how proud I am of you for recognizing the red flags and cutting this man off immediately. This is the kind of impact every writer hopes to have on their readers.

Thank you so much for sharing, for your insight, and your understanding of how dark stories are useful for women like us. I hope you are staying safe!

[thedevilsdom]

making 5000 year old virgin levi cum in his pants is SUCH a mood. a concept even. sitting on his lap and “accidentally” grinding down against him... acting all shocked and surprised when he cums and starts crying and apologizing, then casually reaching into his boxers and running your fingers through his cum and shushing him by making him clean them up... or just cooing about how much of a messy little boy he is and teasingly stroking him and overstimulating him until he’s huffing and trying to muffle his moans into your shoulder... OR not even responding at all and ending the night as if you never noticed, and he can’t help but get himself off later to the shame and humiliation and desire for u he’s left sitting alone with... so many options

ok here we fuckin go

- Leviathan/Female Reader, ~3k words, Possibly going to be continued as a multi-chap fic

Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Leviathan’s desire to show someone his interests overruled his nervousness and embarrassment every time. He couldn’t find it in himself to care about personal space or boundaries once he got you in his lap, watching as he played his game.

He’s not even really paying attention to you. You can easily tell without even looking that his eyes are flitting across the screen, tracking and locking on to whatever target he’s picked next before his fingers hurriedly press the keys on his keyboard to execute whatever super-special-mega-power-move-combo he’s got planned. Not that you’re complaining. The bright colors of the screen and the gameplay are entertaining enough, plus it’s cute to see Levi all wrapped up in his interests like this. You know that he could stand to have more people around to indulge him like you are now. It’d probably do wonders for his self esteem.

You split your time between looking at the screen, at your D.D.D, and at him. He’s dressed so casually, a graphic t-shirt and a pair of pale gray sweatpants, and a pair of Mononoke Land socks on his feet. It’s endearing how he moves underneath you, tensing up in stressful points in the match, sometimes bouncing his leg or wiggling his toes. You’re not even sure that he knows he’s doing any of it.

He wraps up his match, ending it in a close victory, but a victory nonetheless, just as he’d done in the past three matches you’d sat through. You hear him sigh and flop back against the backrest of his chair, pulling his headphones down to rest around his neck. His spreads his fingers then forms a fist a few times, stretching between matches before he queues up for another. You take the lull in activity as an opportunity, your hand reaching down and stroking the outside of his thigh lightly, just to grab is attention, and he jumps in surprise underneath you.

“Heh, sorry,” You giggle, turning a little so that you can look back and see him, “I just wanted to say thank you for showing me this stuff, it’s pretty fun.”

You swear something short circuits in his head. His eyes are wide, you see his snake-like pupils dilate for a moment before returning to normal, his cheeks are immediately filled with red, his hands twitch uselessly above his keyboard. His eyes dart away from you, lips parting as he stutters out nonsense.

“Wh- I- Um- I- Y-You? Th-thank you- uh- you can play, if you want. I can queue you up for a quick play match and- um- you can play.” He says with a nervous shiver to his voice. You give him a bright, eager smile that stops his heart for just a second,

“Sure! I’ll see if I can do any of the stuff you can, though I dunno if I’ll be that good.” You tell him, watching as he clicks and sets up the queue for a quick play match for you. Your words only make him tense and heat up more.

“Oh, well, uh, that’s- I mean, that’s true, but I-I’m sure you’ll do fine!” He squeaks. You lean forward in the chair, getting your hands situated on the keyboard and mouse, getting ready for the game. Just as you think you might’ve figured out where to put your fingers, you suddenly feel Leviathan’s hand on yours,

“If you lift your palm up like this and curl your fingers a little, it makes it easier to press a different key, if you need to.” He explains. Marveling at the way he so easily maneuvers your hand into a better position, you realize that when he’s in the little realm of his interests, his nervousness just melts away. Though, you don’t bring it up, because you know that if you do, he’ll just be reduced to a stammering mess again. Instead, you give him a nod and a smile, getting ready for the game.

As the screen lights up with the ‘game found!’ screen, Leviathan puts his headphones over your head and leans over your shoulder to watch you play. You can tell that as you rapidly mash buttons and try your best to aim, there are several moments where he wants to backseat-game, but he bites his tongue and doesn’t criticize. As you play you alternate between being just a few inches from the screen, to leaning back against Levi’s chest, to almost standing up from the chair, all thinking that it’d give you a better aim.

Levi, on the other hand, was having a hard time controlling himself. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. He’s seen this kind of scenario in so many hentai before, but he doesn’t exactly want to start taking advice from those, especially when the approval of the person he’s got a crush on is on the line. He’s just hoping that the headphones and sounds of the game are enough to hide his pathetic little whimpers as you unknowingly grind on his erect cocks. He’d never been so turned on by just a little pressure before. It’s getting harder and harder for him to think rationally, but he does know that the combination of him being in sweatpants, plus his ‘double-trouble’ issue, means that it’s going to be nearly impossible for you to not notice if he tries to shoo you out of the room.

Truth be told, you’re already well aware of the situation you’ve wound up in. You could feel something stiff pressing into your ass since the second you’d really started playing, and every little movement on your part has been intentional. You revel in every time Levi tenses up, or when his breath hitches, and in the confused floating of his hands as he tries to figure out where to put them.

When the match concludes with a draw, you let out a defeated sigh and lean back against his chest. His whole body goes rigid.

“Aww,” You huff, dropping your head back against his shoulder. “Do you wanna play? Or should I stay in control?” Your warm breath ghosts across his neck and makes him shiver. He’s struggling to keep from shifting into his demon form, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can last-

With just a little rock of your hips, you make him come undone.

He offers up a deliciously shaky gasp and his hips twitch involuntarily under your own, pushing his stiffness against your ass as sticky cum floods his boxers. You feel him shiver and shudder under you, pathetic little whines being torn from his throat, despite his attempts to keep them in. Finally, with a miserable little sob, his hips drop back down into the chair.

You don’t say a word as you stand up. Just to have his heart leap into his throat, you stay still for a second or two. He doesn’t say anything, still holding on to the hope that maybe you didn’t notice, though, that would be impossible.

His heart stops when you turn around.

Your eyes trail up and down his body. He’s pushed back into his seat, like he’d be able to disappear into it if he tried hard enough. His demon form is out, horns poking the headrest and tail flowing out through a gap in the armrest. His hands are in little fists, pulled up to his chest, and his legs are squeezed shut. Between them, at the crux, is a huge dark spot. If it weren’t for his vocal reaction, you honestly would’ve assumed he’d wet himself, based on the size of the stain alone. You glance up to his face. His eyes are wide, pupils dilated and locked onto you, and his mouth looks like he’s trying to form words, only to give up halfway through. He looks shocked and hurt.

“I’m sorry!” He chokes out just as you were about to speak. “I’m sorry I’m a gr-gross, yucky otaku who can’t-can’t control himself and I-I-I!” His eyes fill with tears, darting around the room as he panics, trying to figure out if he wants you to stay or leave.

“Shh, Levi,” You purr, leaning down over him and touching the waistband of his pants with a finger, “May I?” Eyes looking up at him through your eyelashes.

“It-I- It’s a- a… I’m not… Not normal,” He mumbles, “Down there.”

“Oh?” To his surprise, you don’t sound disgusted or repulsed, you sound intrigued.

“You- you uh, you can, if you want.” Conceding, Levi knows that he wants this, especially if his still aching tent is anything to go by.

“Yeah, but do you, Levi?” You ask, pulling your hands back for a moment, completely willing to either give him a second to think or to turn you away, but he nearly cuts you off with an energetic nod of his head,

“Yes! I-I do want it, I want you to touch me there.” He whines.

“Good boy.”

With a smile, you hook your fingers around the waistband of his pants, pulling them down first. Underneath them is a pair of black boxers, so saturated with cum that they cling to his skin. He flushes impossibly darker, but you only give him an encouraging, pleased grin. Offering a second for him to collect himself, you hold off for just a moment before you continue, slowly taking hold of his waistband and peeling the cloth from him, pulling it down his thighs.

Your eyes are glued to his body as you reveal what he meant when he said not normal. You’d say that that is one hundred percent correct. Coming from a near reptilian vertical slit is a pair of dicks, both distinctly inhuman. They’re ridged, and a dark blue at the shaft, fading into an indigo at the tips, both absolutely dripping with cum. You pause for a moment and Levi immediately starts spiraling,

“I knew you’d think it’s weird! F-forget this, just go, you don’t have to do an-nnMPH?!”

He’s shut up by you swiping up some of his cum on your fingers and pressing them past his lips. The pads of your fingers press down on his tongue, but you don’t force them any more inside, giving him the chance to pull away- which he doesn’t take. Instead, his eyes flutter shut, tongue laving across your fingers and nursing his own cum off of them.

“There’s my good boy,” You offer a docile smile. “Poor thing just couldn’t stop himself from cumming in his boxers, hm? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you wanted this to happen.” You take your fingers back and scoop up some more cum to feed him. In the in between, he mutters,

“N-no, I didn’t want it to happen this way, but…” Levi’s voice trails off, but you can put two and two together.

“Oh? You’ve thought about me touching you like this before?” That lights a fire inside you. “You’ve thought about being my good little boy? I always did think you’d make a good boy for me, Levi.”

“Y-You thought about- about me? Like that!?” He sounds absolutely shocked, and you giggle. “Um! I’ve uh, always- always been i-into you… Since, like, forever ago…”

That’s a confession, you suppose.

“I’ve been ‘into you’ too, Levi.” You push your dripping fingers into his mouth again. “You’re so cute, and I love seeing you get so excited about the stuff you like. I just wish you weren’t so down on yourself.” The backs of your fingers on your free hand stroke up the length of his lower cock, “I’m gonna keep calling you my good boy until you realize that that’s what you are.”

He swallows around you fingers, nodding gently so as to not shake them away. Levi gives pathetic little whimpers around your digits, suckling on them until they’re clean once again. The hand not in his mouth drifts down to his cocks, gently holding them both and slowly starting to stroke them.

“A- Ah!” He squeaks, hips twitching up into your touch. He’s so responsive, with his wide eyes and little sounds, it’s adorable. “That’s! It’s- you’re t-touching my- hhahn!”

“You have such cute reactions,” You purr, “All from me just rubbing your cocks a little bit. Has anyone ever made you feel good like this before, Levi?” You don’t necessarily tell it how it is, because you’re pretty sure that if you outright asked him if he was a virgin, or if you said ‘hasn’t anyone ever jerked you off besides yourself?’ Leviathan would pass out. Luckily though, he doesn’t, and he responds with a mute shake of his head, ‘no’.

With a couple more slow strokes, he gasps, finally allowing his hands to reach out and touch you. They wrap limply around your shoulders, pulling you down and him up, as he nuzzles into your neck to hide his face. The second his heated skin makes contact with your own he shivers.

“Fuck, you’re- I can- you smell really good…” He murmurs against you, “You smell like- like you.”

“You’ve paid attention to what I smell like, Levi?” You see a very clear opportunity to tease him, and of course you take it. “Have you thought about it? Thought about stealing my clothes out of the laundry? You already admitted that you’ve thought of me touching you, there’s no point in hiding.”

“Y-You, uh, it- I- I thought about- hnnn-“ He arches his back and pushes his face further against your neck, “Thought about t-taking your- your shirts and putting them over, uh, over my body pillows,” Leviathan’s voice is an adorable little whine. His confession only makes you want to make him break more. “And I thought about…” He trails off the last part of that sentence.

“What did you think about, Levia-chan?” Hand not stopping on his cock, your voice is a low, sultry purr.

“Y-Your- your underwear… Wanted to- press it against my- ‘n sm- agh! I can’t say it!” He shakes his head, his body shivering. He’s wracked with tremors like a little puppy learning how to walk, it’s cute.

“You wanted to smell my underwear, baby?” Your other hand pets the back of his head for a moment. “What if I take them off right now and press them up against your face? Smother you with them?

He whines, high pitched and reedy. You feel soft lips press against your neck as he gently peppers it with kisses, not really sure what to do but desperate to show you how grateful he is for this. You can feel his fangs ghost over your skin, a threat that he doesn’t even make, and his tongue darting out to lap at your neck. The vibrations of his moans and the heated huffs of breath against you draw out a warm coursing of arousal down your spine.

“Just-! Just like that, your hand is so s-soft, it feels so good, don’t stop, please, don’t stop!” He babbles, interrupted by moans and quick kisses and kitten licks to your skin.

“Is my little Leviathan gonna cum all over my hands?” Deciding not to be too cruel, when he nods his head and whines, you don’t stop jerking him off. “Good, good boy. I want you to cum for me.”

His hips fuck into your hand uncontrollably, rutting and desperate as you feel his thighs quake and his lip tremble against the nape of your neck. His hands grasp blindly at your back, holding onto you as he fucks your fist. His breath hitches again and again, half said segments of words falling from his lips until you hear him go silent for just a split second-

Then he wails.

Leviathan’s voice is high and broken and needy as he finally hits his orgasm, cum spilling out between you, gushing and flooding your hand as his hips shakily thrust forward, fucking his cum into your fist. He hiccups and sobs, riding out his orgasm before slumping back into his seat, though still keeping his head nuzzled into your neck.

Only you don’t stop. Tormenting him with the pleasure filled pain of overstimulation, you keep stroking your cum slicked fist on his cocks. He gasps,

“Ah-hah?! I-I already-! I just came, why’re you- hhah!” Leviathan’s whole body trembles, hips twitching, out of his control. You hum, your movements and tone almost bored, as though you were doing anything other than getting an extremely reactive demon off. “Too much, too much! It- it h-hurts!” Tears spill down his cheeks while he sobs. “Pl-please, pleasepleaseplease-!”

“Please what, Levi?” You’re surprise that he isn’t trying to get away from you, instead mostly staying put while his hips twitch. “Do you want me to stop? All you have to do is ask.”

“Nnn-no! no, no, it’s- ghh- it’s a lot, but- fuck,” All the words he tries to get out are ruined by the tremble in his voice and the rattling of his sobs that shake his whole body. “Gonna cum again, pleeeease, can I c-cum again?”

“Take whatever you need, baby.”

That’s all the permission he needs. He falls headlong into another orgasm, crying and sobbing into your shoulder as the intense pleasure overtakes him and dots swim in his vision, more cum pouring out of his cocks and dirtying your hand.

You- ever caring and careful- let him calm down against you. Leviathan shakes and trembles, breath hitching against your shoulder as hot tears roll down his flushed cheeks.

“You okay, baby boy?” You say, keeping any teasing out of your voice. He mumbles out a little response and nods shyly against you. “Good, take all the time you need, that was really intense.”

With a few deep breaths, he calms down enough to pull away, wiping at his face with the sleeves of his jacket. Just when he thought he might be able to face you, his eyes drift down and he spots the flood of cum that he’d produced.

“You did so good for me,” You lean forward and press your cum soaked fingers to his lips again, letting him suckle on them, giving him something to do.

“I didn’t do anything.” He mumbles.

“Of course you did,” Your fingers press down gently on his tongue, admonishing him, “You and your body are both so honest with me, thank you for letting me play with you, Levi.” He just sighs around your fingers.

You stay in his room for a little while afterwards, resuming your hanging out as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened, once you’d both gotten cleaned up. Watching anime and playing video games until it was late in the night, and only then did you bid Levi goodnight and head off to your own room, wondering how this night was going to affect things between the two of you.

[hel-awaits]

Compiled List of Elder Futhark Runes and Their Meanings.

A list of runes and their meanings that I compiled from watching EVERY video in the runic series by Arith Harger. All credit goes to him and his youtube channel.

Fehu ᚠ: Power, luck, fortune, cattle, feminine, fire, life, new beginnings, nourishment, comfort, luck (Norse positive energy,)sexual energy.

Inverted: failure, loss, greed, bad luck, infertility, negativity, loss of a loved one. 

Uruz ᚢ: Aurochs (giant bull,) strength, health, endurance, vigor, persistence, courage, male, rage, warrior spirit. Thor(his uncontrollable rage,) unconscious power, fury resourceful, manifestation. Tread lightly with power. New beginnings, change, growth. Your true self and getting to know you. Overcoming your wild nature. Healing, inverted: weakness, physical and mental fatigue, health issues, see a doctor. Change your lifestyle. Your own power used against you. 

Thurisaz ᚦ: Chaos, destruction, defense, strength, protecting without strategy but with rage. Boundaries. Know your limits. There are barriers you'll overcome later. Potential risks. Snakes. People betraying you. Regenerating, fertilization, breaking barriers. Inverted: Sexual and menstrual problems. Take no action. Possible trap. 

Ansuz ᚨ: Odin, creation, breath, intelligence, communication, speech, poetry. Reversed: Miscommunication. Unable to be heard. 

Raido ᚱ: Journey, other worldly or physically. The need to find the right path. Reaching a goal. Evolution, sleipnir, spiritual journey, shamanic sacrifice. Prepare for journeys.

Inverted: Don't take the advice of others, think for yourself. Feeling stuck. Accept the inevitable. Trouble will pass. 

Kaunaz ᚲ: Torch, intellect, knowledge, power, ancestral knowledge, creation, self control, inner strength, will to create, magic, energy, passion, lust, vitality, protection. Heimdallr, warmth, friendship, love, 

Inverted: Lost love, friendship, destruction. 

Gebo ×: Giving, taking, trade, gift for a gift, sacrifice, gift from the gods, gift from Odin, give to the poor, compensation, give with an open heart, be yourself, soon feel honor bound to help but don't help TOO much. 

Wunjo ᚹ: Joy, hope, harmony, happiness, family, kinfolk, attraction, like mindedness, favor from the gods, will to live, fulfilling life, good news, relationships will work. Finding yourself. 

Inverted: Be guarded emotionally, use logic. Sadness, fear. Be patient. 

Haglaz ᚺ ᚻ: Hail, violent change, long term good, inevitable, bad news, catastrophe, destruction in life, chaos, obstacles that can't be overcome. Disruption, fate, heed the warning, ymir, norns, harsh cold, unpredictable weather, your limitations, the unexpected, harmony, death. Rethink plans. Hope. 

Naudiz ᚾ:  Need, necessity, hard times are coming/here, poor life choices in the past, take action, limitations, constraint, obstacles, learning through necessity, control negative emotions, recognize limitations.

Isa ᛁ: Ice, focus, self preservation, concentration, self control, being in control of our ego, facing harsh reality, self reliance, aware of our existence, our own hidden power, will, defense against our emotions, pulling ourselves from the darkness, emotional fragility.

Jera ᛃ: Year, end of the cycle, reap what you sew, cyclical actions, you’ll be becoming greater, reward for honorable actions, when life is tough...dig deep and stay strong, favorable moment, harvest.

Eihwaz ᛇ: Yew, gaining spiritual knowledge by going up and down the world tree, learning rune mysteries of life and death, sharing knowledge. Trees: apple yew and ash. Connection between realities, life from death, circle of life, past growing into the future, mysteries of death, hidden secrets, movement towards enlightenment. Set yourself free of the fear of death, Yggdrasil. 

Pertho ᛈ: The unknown, interacting with fate and the norns, the web of the wyrd, Norns, events yet to happen, having to guess due to lack of knowledge, limitations beyond your control, free from worry, let the universe decide, good omens, joy, stagnation that you can turn to your advantage. 

Algiz ᛉ :  Elk/moose, protection, higher self, connection to the gods, listening and being attentive to that which is beyond the physical world, awakening, spiritual defense, cosmic stags eating at the needles of Yggdrasil, being in contact with the divine, human life reaching for the divine.

Sowilo ᛋ:  Sun positive, success, light, strength to move forward, guidance, hope, knowing our own power and strength, faith in ourselves and the choices we’ve made, the seat of the soul.

Tiwaz ᛏ:  Justice, sacrifice, balance, wisdom from a higher state of rationality, self sacrifice for the well being of the whole, something bigger than you, the greater good, denial of selfish actions, righteousness, rationality, victory, faith, fairness, empathy, no justice without empathy and rationality, spiritual warrior, honor, bravery, 

Berkano ᛒ: Birch goddess, growth of the self, rebirth, change, end of a cycle, throw away what no longer has a purpose, life and renewal, (mental and spiritual) let go of old mentalities, Female (blossoming of the true self), motherhood, let go of the past, be happy, taking care of life.

Ehwaz ᛖ:  Horse, team work, trust, solidarity, common goal, cooperation, unity, friendship, finding real value in friendship, harmonious connection, movement, journey, travel, wild inner self, hunger for change, filgia, relationship between body and spirit, rational and magical, shaman.

Mannaz. ᛗ: Higher reasoning, mankind, true essence of the human, divine spark in the structure of human intelligence, thought and memory, the difference between the human spirit and everything else, cycle of everything, connection of the anima and animus, male and female consciousness (trans?) balance between conscious and the subconscious, the memories of the ancestors.

Laguz ᛚ: Water, fluidity of life, the ocean, lakes, waterfalls, the underworld, afterlife, movement, voyages, source of life, fluid water, beginnings, evolutionary process, primordial life, origins, cyclical existence, wisdom, history of mankind, instinct, psychological power, depths of our conscious, what lies buried in our mind, collective wisdom. 

Yngwaz ᛝ: Earth god, fruitful attributes in male sexuality, agriculture, growth, male growth, masculine magic, break social rules towards gender, opportunity for men to come in contact with the supernatural, male spirituality, male potential, male role in the origin and continuation of life, gestation of male abilities, peace, wealth.

Othala ᛟ:  Homeland, ancestral roots, evolution, leave a legacy, learn, spreading knowledge, individual growth, wisdom, reach out and help people reach wisdom, better world through knowledge spreading, property, right to shelter, family, protection, finding your roots, creating a safe space for others, respect peace, hope, hearth cult.

Dagaz ᛞ: Dawn, day, light, end of a cycle and beginning of a new era. Creation, birth, life, development, experiences. Settling down, rest, coming home, our roots are deeper than the illusion of identity. Our true roots of the mind. New cycle, rebirth, a new hope.