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jamespotterthefirst · 5 years ago

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Drinks For Two

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 1,800 Warning: None Author’s Note: That premium scene from Book 1, Chapter 2 at the bar from Ethan’s POV

Catch up here.

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The raucous cacophony surrounding Ethan that evening at Donahue's is not enough distraction from his traitorous thoughts, much to his annoyance. Ordinarily, the small bar serves as his sanctuary, a blessed transitional space between the harsh demands of the job and the tranquility of home. On most nights, he prefers the place silent enough to enjoy his drink in numbing peace. Upon entering the place and seeing the crowd of intoxicated, uproarious interns, however, Ethan kisses that fantasy goodbye.

He decides to stay anyway because lord knows he needs a drink after the hell hole of a day he had. Ethan, ever the optimist, even finds a silver lining in hoping that the mindless, drunken chatter will keep him from reliving it. When that fails, the riotous noise is nothing but that: noise.

Ethan takes a swig of his drink, savoring the pleasant burn in his throat.

“I don't want your opportunities or your charity. I want my patient to get better.”

Memories of fiery, bright eyes flood him, unbidden.

“And if that's not everyone's priority at this hospital, I'd rather you fire me now.”

Righteous, impassioned anger had colored her face as she spat the words at him with a vehemence that had given him pause. And all after he had placed a precious learning opportunity on a silver platter for her taking? Who the hell did this intern think she was? The nerve, the gall, the idiotic insolence of that brash, silver-tongued, headstrong girl...

Ethan loses steam.

That passionate, fearless, intelligent and rather pretty girl.

A slew of less professional adjectives inundate his awareness before he can stop them. Inwardly groaning, he throws back another drink.

An eruption of cheers and wolf whistles mercifully pulls him from his thoughts. Ethan doesn't need to look to know it's coming from the surgical interns, the rowdiest of the bunch by default. Add to that scores of cheap alcohol and the galvanizing promise of competition a game of dart brings, and they are downright unbearable.

When he does spare them a glance, he is greeted by the sight of a burly, good-looking surgical intern dipping a brunette backwards before planting a scandalous kiss on her lips.

“Get it, Lahela!”

“Traitor!”

God, how Ethan hated PDA.

A whirl of green fabric and glossy brown hair is all Ethan sees as the recipient of the kiss straightens herself, slightly woozy and gripping Lahela’s muscular arms for dear life. It is only when she shifts on her feet that Ethan catches a glimpse of that distinctive smile— the very same he had seen all day, both in person and in his recollection. Lilac Allende, pretty face bright and eyes sparkling, grins at the surgical intern as he whispers something in her ear.

And then, like a stroke of lighting, her eyes meet Ethan’s for the briefest of moments.

Ethan glances away too quickly, his slight annoyance tapering into sheer irritation. His mood deteriorates when he finds his glass empty though he doesn't get the opportunity to order another because mere seconds later, he can see a hazy shape in forest green approaching.

Stubborn as ever, Ethan determinedly avoids gazing her way. He foolishly thinks this will be successful until she is right at his side and practically impossible to ignore. This, of course, does not escape her notice, officially deeming her the most frustrating person he's ever met.

“Something wrong, Dr. Ramsey?” she asks and he can practically hear the cheeky grin in her melodic voice.

As his eyes take in the full force of the outfit she is wearing, he mentally determines the only thing that is wrong are the thoughts the revealing number invites. He makes a conscious effort to keep his eyes on her face and not on the tortuous path her daring neckline sets. Ethan loses the battle for a millisecond because his eyes fall on the black, lacy contraption peeking from her blouse (if he can call it that), the sight a sweet kind of torture. Feeling like an absolute ass, he fixes his gaze on hers, convinced he can still salvage both of their dignities by saying something vague.

“Just noticing how… different you look out in the real world.”

Dr. Allende looks as though she doesn't believe him and she opens her mouth, perhaps to brashly tell him so. Luckily, Reggie slides over to their side of the bar.

“What'll it be?”

She becomes distracted by the question and Ethan privately thanks Reggie's impeccable timing. Dr. Allende pensively chews her lip as she contemplates his empty glass. Ethan pauses, promptly telling himself this is to humor her while also satisfying his own curiosity and not because of the vision that is her bottom lip, made swollen by the pressure of the bite.

“Scotches, neat,” she finally tells Reggie, with a confidence that almost earns her an impressed nod.

In their silence, Dr. Allende cuts him a look that is almost bashful, despite all the bravado she displays. Her posture is ramrod straight and Ethan can practically feel the nervous energy radiating from her. With a bolt, he realizes she is silently extending an olive branch. A truce from their previous encounter at Edenbrook.

“Why neat instead of on the rocks?” he asks, his own quiet way of accepting.

“The ice changes the flavor,” she returns at once, shoulders relaxing visibly.

“Right answer.”

A ghost of a smile escapes him and she takes this with evident satisfaction, returning it with a smug smirk of her own. The crowded, ebullient bar suddenly becomes stifling to Ethan as he holds her gaze. To make it worse, someone decides that is the best moment to play an Al Green song on the jukebox.

Reggie returns with their drinks, saving him again.

“You know I can't be bribed into favoring you, right?” Ethan keeps his face masterfully impassive, his voice expertly controlled as he says this, the first thing he could think of to deter from it all.

“I think you already favor me.”

God, she is good. That clever little quip is enough to inspire a quiet laugh from him, the sound almost foreign to his ears.

“You keep believing that,” he returns almost at once.

This, in turn, makes her match his laughter. Before he can squash it, Ethan feels a proud jolt of satisfaction at being the one to cause the sound.

Reggie returns, noticing their empty glasses. The loaded grin he flashes Ethan leaves no doubt the older man caught the exchange.

“Two specials,” Ethan says, ignoring this. “Thanks, Reggie.”

“Only for you, Ethan,” his old friend returns with a chuckle, his eyes moving over to Dr. Allende before he moves away to prepare his order.

She sends him a curious look. “You're on first-name terms with the bartender?”

“He's an old friend. I come here most nights.”

Ethan can see her considering the statement quietly. “You don't have anyone waiting at home?”

Ethan hesitates, marveling at her tone, easy and casual as though she was asking for the time. Shifting in his seat slightly, he consciously refuses to look for any meaning behind the question.

“I'll come here even when I do,” he responds after a long pause. “I need some buffer between the hospital and the world. An airlock.” Briefly, he thinks of Harper and the many arguments that became too constant in the last months of their relationship.

“Don't take the job home with you, Lilac.” He's not sure why he utters the advice, but it is gone from his lips before he can stop it. Vaguely, he realizes that is the first time he calls her by her first name.

Dr. Allende doesn't seem to notice. She considers him, biting the inside of her cheek. “I'll keep that in mind…” she says, “but you didn't answer my question.”

Ethan decides then that sharp perceptiveness will be his demise.

“No. Nobody waiting at home tonight.”

There is no reaction because his order arrives.

Grateful, Ethan offers her the dark liquid. “Here, try this.”

Dr. Allende accepts the drink wordlessly. She swirls it around in the glass before taking a careful sniff. Ethan almost rolls his eyes though he'd be lying if he said he wasn't amused. Seemingly satisfied, she downs more than half of it with spectacular skill.

“Well, how's it compare?” he prompts, unable to keep that insistent need to know what she is thinking at bay. The way she assesses the empty glass between his fingers, her jaw working as she collects her thoughts only adds to the allure.

She meets his eye with a grin. “That's amazing!”

When he finds no indication of dishonesty on her face, Ethan allows another wave of self-congratulatory smugness. “Either you're sucking up to me, or you've got surprisingly refined taste for an intern. ”

The lopsided quirk of her lips leaves him entirely too charmed for his liking. “I'm surprising in a lot of ways.”

“You'll have to prove that.”

The words are redundant for she had been doing just that from the very instant he met her.

Eyes locked on hers, he raises his glass. “To your intern year. In the hopes you don't completely blow everything you've worked your whole life for.”

Dr. Allende scrunches that freckle dusted nose of hers. “Morbid,” she comments, though not without a signature smile. “I like it.”

Their glasses meet, the clink of the crystal lost in the revelry around them.

An upbeat pop song he is too old and too prideful to know the name of booms through the speakers. It is met with approving cheers from the drunk crowd. Over the hubbub, the sound of her name reaches them.

“Lilac!”

It is from a group of interns at the other end of the bar. Ethan briefly recognizes the short, bubbly one as the intern who pulled him away from his furious rant earlier that day.

“Are we dancing or not?” she yells over the music.

Lilac turns to Ethan who only waves his hand dismissively, encouraging her to go. As she turns to join her friends, she halts, turning to consider him quietly.

For a wild moment, Ethan thinks she might ask him to dance. Drink in hand he selfishly considers what it would be to dance with her, bodies close and lost to the beat of the music. Where might her hands be on his body as they moved? Where would his be? He vanishes the thought with more determination than necessary, though the heat that flares from his neck to his face is impossible to ignore.

Perhaps realizing she is not quite so brave, Lilac shoots him one last smile and simply says, “Good night, Dr. Ramsey.”

“Good night, Dr. Allende.”

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Author’s Note: Who could have put the Al Green song? Hmm.

Thank you for reading!

At the risk of committing to an ambitious endeavor, I really want to do as many of these as possible. I think my next one will be from the Dolores chapter.

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@dulceghernandez | @lion-ess24 | @emotionalswift2 | @the-soot-sprite |

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #playchoices #my writing

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dimitribelikov · 4 years ago

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The Belikov Chronicles: Becoming a Mentor

✶ What if I rewrote different scenes but from Dimitri’s point of view? I have no idea if this is something people are interested in, but this was too fun not to write. Honestly, for all the times Rose is going on about what a god Dimitri is, it’s too amusing to imagine that he’s thinking he’s a total weirdo most of the time. ✶ trigger warnings : some adult language ✶ ship : none but hints of romitri I guess, as well as hints of Dimitri/Ivan ✶ notes : All dialogue is taken straight from Vampire Academy, chapter 2, written by Richelle Mead. The rest is mine.

✶✶✶

As the double doors opened and we walked into the commons, it seemed as though every set of eyes in the place turned on us. Ok, not much as us as they were on her. Rose Hathaway had been walking by my side, but clearly feeling the effects of scrutiny, she began to lag a little. It was certainly a cruel punishment to walk her though the throng of her peers, like dangling a piece of meat in a lion’s den. Headmistress Kirova had requested it, wanting to teach her and the Princess Vasilisa a bit of humility. Honestly, after the stunt they pulled, I couldn’t help but think a slice of humble pie would do them some good.

But my thoughts weren’t on the effects of a public, teenaged shaming. I was still thinking about the short conversation I’d had with Rose on the plane. Meeting her had exceeded my expectations. When I was tasked with apprehending Janine Hathaway’s daughter, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. Janine was a well respected guardian, one that I’ve had to honor of meeting on more than one occasion. Her work, the stories of her past, continue to inspire me, but if I’m being honest, she also terrifies me. Janine is someone not to be messed with, so naturally her daughter would seemingly follow suit.

From the moment Rose squared off with us, ready to take on a whole team of experienced guardians by herself, I knew she had her mother’s fighting spirit. But when I asked her about it, why she’d do such a thing when she was clearly outnumbered, she answered with such conviction that I couldn’t help but be taken aback. “Because I’m her guardian.”

She wasn’t of course. Not yet. But while I was supposed to be reprimanding her for such a foolish tactic, I couldn’t help but be impressed. Perhaps I even admired her. It wasn’t too long ago, after all, that I felt the same way about my own charge. I would have stood against armies of Strigoi by myself to defend Ivan, but in the end, not even that was enough.

Finally reaching our destination, I took up my stance in the back of the room, across from Alberta. The captain of the school’s guardians was another person I had admired. I mirrored her stance and unreadable expression, knowing my place. Being reduced to nothing more than furniture was a good chunk of life for a guardian. It wasn’t as bad as it sounded, though. Being ignored and overlooked meant you pick up on all sorts of things. I’ve always been curious about the world around me, so I had learned years ago how to take in every detail while standing as still as a statue.

The only move I made was when Rose shot up and yelled at the Headmistress in outrage. She was angry, but not threatening to I stayed in my spot, eyes trained on her. She was unruly, stubborn, and very reckless. Damn, I admired her spirit.

“I kept her safe!” she continued to yell. The dark curls of her glossy hair bounced against her back as she shook with anger. I wasn’t going to admit that she was pretty when mad, but... “I kept her safe when none of you could do it. I took her away to protect her. I did what I had to do. You certainly weren’t going to.”

I could feel the concern radiating from Alberta, but I actually had to work to keep a small smile from my face. Sure, the teenaged girl just insulted my own capabilities, but I didn’t take it personally. She had a point. Seeing the way she had thrown herself in front of Vasilisa to protect her from us back in Portland, I had no doubt that Rose truly believed she was protecting her. She needed guidance, though. Proper training. Her brash attitude made her jump to conclusions and solutions were way out of left field.

I ignored the voice in my head that told me how I wasn’t much different with Ivan before he’d died. Sure, I never took him out of school and fled the Moroi authorities, but I’d still concocted some pretty crazy schemes to keep him safe. He was my best friend after all. More than that. Ivan was everything and if there was a threat big enough, I didn’t entirely rule out the possibility that I’d have done exactly what Rose did. His death had sobered me, though. Tamed me from my more headstrong ways.

“You will be sent away as soon as possible.” It the Headmistress who had spoken. She was talking about Rose, of course. That was the exact opposite of what she needed. Didn’t Headmistress Kirova know who she was dealing with? The daughter of Janine Hathaway had too much potential to be wasted, especially with guardian numbers as abysmal as they were. The verbal sparring match that continued after that was intense. I followed every word between the two, and noted the look of sheer panic in the princess’s eyes. Those two couldn’t live without each other. If Vasilisa was my new charge, I had to keep her best interests a priority. This couldn’t stand. Surely Alberta would have an opinion? But she was remaining rooted the spot. The argument was getting more heated. Shit. I had to do something, to speak up or–

No, no, no, no. Furniture. You’re just a piece of furniture. I internally berated myself, biting my tongue. This doesn’t involve you. Stay out of it.

“They have a bond,” I said. And just like that, I dragged myself in the middle of something I had no business being in. Fuck it, I decided as all eyes turned on me. I kept my expression neutral as though my speaking was fueled by perfectly rational thoughts. I always hated being in the spotlight, so rather than deal with the whole room, I stared solely at Rose. There was something comforting about her, as though if anyone in the room could understand me, it was her. “Rose knows what Vasilisa is feeling. Don’t you Rose?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the headmistress look entirely startled by the claim. “No... that’s impossible. That hasn’t happened for centuries.”

Her doubt only encouraged me to continue as I felt a better handle over the situation. “It’s obvious,” I said. “I suspected it as soon as I started watching them.” My eyes were still locked on Rose’s. She was defiant and strong, and I couldn’t help but feel my own strength bolstered by her presence. Perhaps I was starting to come off as a creep, though, because she quickly looked away from me as Prince Victor gave this theory praise.

Turning my gaze onto Kirova, I continued. “The best guardians always had that bond. In the stories.” I added the last part, hoping that I didn’t somehow sound like a total loon. I technically wasn’t supposed to be talking at all, yet here I was, spouting of old myths straight from fairytales. But every word I said was the truth. I had seen it, and it was something that couldn’t be ignored.

“Stories that are centuries old! Surely you aren’t suggesting we let her stay at the Academy after everything she’s done?” Kirova countered.

I guess I am just a loon, after all. With nothing more to lose, I shrugged. “She might be wild and disrespectful but if she has potential–”

“Wild and disrespectful? Who the hell are you anyway? Outsourced help?” It was Rose who had interrupted and I wish I had a way to tell her to shut up. Couldn’t she see that I was the only one actually standing up for her? I suddenly thought of a few more adjectives to add to “wild and disrespectful”.

“Guardian Belikov is the princess’s guardian now. Her sanctioned guardian,” Kirova corrected. I know I wasn’t supposed to be on her side, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit triumphant.

That feeling fell immediately with Rose’s next words. “You got cheap foreign labor to protect Lissa?” Thank God I had mastered an unreadable expression, because if I could have thrown daggers at the novice, I would have. She knew nothing about me, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt by the statement.

Kirova threw her hands up as though her point had just been made. “You see?” she said, directed at me. “Completely undisciplined! All the psychic bonds and very raw potential in the world can’t make up for that. A guardian without discipline is worse than no guardian.”

I couldn’t disagree, which brought me back to my original point. Pushing my irritation over the insult aside, I knew I had to stand up for the guardian Rose could be. “So teach her discipline. Classes just started. Put her back in and get her training again.” Honestly, wasn’t that the whole point of school? If being undisciplined got students kicked out, there wouldn’t be any left.

“Impossible. She’ll still be hopelessly behind her peers.”

“No I won’t,” Rose finally spoke up. If she was standing up for herself in a rational manner, then surely we could sway Kirova to let her stay at the Academy by Vasilisa’s side.

“Then give her extra training sessions,” I quickly added, feeling victory within our reach. And just like that, the negotiation started. It was the first real hope I felt in this battle. We continued for a while and I could feel Alberta’s eyes on me the whole time. Surely there would be words when we were back in the guardian’s headquarters.

“Who’s going to put in the extra time?” Kirova sounded tired of the conversation and I knew I had my foothold. She was ready to accept, she just needed the logistics of it all hammered out. Just as I was feeling triumphant again, the rug was once again pulled out. “You?”

I froze. Me? Train Janine Hathaway’s daughter one on one? The princess needed her and I could respect that, but Rose was quickly becoming a thorn in my side with her harsh comments. The two of us alone together in a sparring ring would surely end in blood being drawing. “Well, that’s not what I–” I trailed off, feeling like a total idiot. I didn’t think this through at all.

“Yes. That’s what I thought.” Shit. Just like that, Kirova won.

My eyes fell on the two girls, and when I looked between them I saw... Ivan and me. For the hundredth time that day, my mind came back to my old friend. I loved him more than I could put into words. I would have died for him, but instead, it was the other way around. One day off, one day away from him, and disaster of the worst degree had struck. I could imagine with painful clarity how Rose would feel if anything were to happen to Vasilisa while she was sent away. Of course, I would make sure to never again lose a Moroi on my watch. No more day-off’s for me. But if Rose had no choice...

“Yes. I can mentor Rose.” I almost didn’t recognize my own voice as I spoke. The moment the words left my mouth, though, I knew I didn’t regret them. I made a vow, and Vasilisa was now in my care. I couldn’t hurt her chances by taking away someone she was bonded with. And Rose... Rose deserved a fighting chance. “I’ll give her extra sessions along with her normal ones.”

We agreed that Rose should still be punished for her actions in addition to the extra training. With words of encouragement from Victor and Vasilisa herself, Kirova finally caved. Yet I’d hardly call it a victory. I’d just traded in practically all my free time to train a wild and disrespectful girl. She was my responsibility now and as I held her gaze again, I had a feeling I had my work cut out for me.

#ᴏɴᴇ sʜᴏᴛ ✶ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴋᴏᴠ ᴄʜʀᴏɴɪᴄʟᴇs #dimitri belikov #vampire academy #rose hathaway #lissa dragomir #romitri #[ should I tag this as romitri? there's moments...

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malecsecretsanta · 4 years ago

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Merry Christmas, adaline-blooms!

For @adaline-blooms. Wishing my dear giftee a healthy and happy Christmas, and I hope you enjoy this gift!! <3

Read On AO3

*****

Chapter 1 - When You’re Feeling Weary

Alec is just making sure he’s mixed Magnus’ martini to his very stringent specifications when the man himself, looking entirely too put together to be feeling the supposed exhaustion Izzy’s text just warned him about, makes an entrance that has Alec eye-rolling in the fondest of ways.

Dressed in the all-black outfit with electric-blue accents that has to be Alec’s favourite, Magnus already has his attention, but the sultry neck-roll that he pairs so well with that heaving sigh guarantees it. Only before he can respond to this display of effortless sensuality, Magnus performs a well-timed heel-pivot and flops dramatically down onto the couch, with the limbs flung wide being a particularly nice touch.

Even by Magnus’ usual standards, that was impressive.

“Busy day, huh?” Alec asks, ambling over as he adds the obligatory olive. Trying, but largely failing, to keep a straight face.

“You could say that, Alexander,” comes the weary reply, followed by another sigh.

So adorable.

“Then perhaps this might help?” he enquires, holding out the drink and waiting for the reaction.

One glitter-rimmed eye cranks open. The smile is Alec’s reward.

“Well, it’s certainly a good start,” Magnus replies, eyebrows dancing as he somehow musters the energy to make it to a half-seated position, and swallows it down in one.

Okay.

“Another?”

With a wink, Magnus hands back the glass, and Alec is happy to comply. Grinning to himself as Magnus starts sniffing the air.

“Alexander, I know I may be hallucinating through sheer fatigue, but is that mouth-watering aroma I can smell coming from our kitchen, by any chance?”

More than a little offended but willing to forgive in the circumstances, Alec passes Magnus ‘liquid medicine number two’ and gallantly sees to the removal of his boots and coat.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been practicing. Hard.”

Magnus still looks unconvinced.

“Fine. Hold onto your drink,” he warns before hoisting his disbelieving husband over his shoulder, ignoring the shriek and the spills, and marches into the kitchen where he’s only marginally more gentle about depositing him on the countertop. “Now do you believe me?”

Shame-faced, Magnus nods. His wide eyes take in the organised chaos of Alec’s dinner preparations, which Alec hopes will produce the best eight-ounce steak Magnus has ever eaten. Well, at the loft, at least.

“My apologies for doubting you, Alexander. It was just, given how-”

Palm raised, Alec halts the unnecessary explanation mid-flow. He did have form in ruining meals, after all. But not this one.

“I get it,” Alec assures him. “But like I said, I’ve been practicing.”

Two strong legs hook around his hips and draw him closer until they’re trapping him against Magnus’ body. Magnus gives him a quizzical look. “How could you possibly have known that I would need exactly this today?”

“My rather concerned sister gave me a heads up about your heroic exploits at Croton Point about an hour before you came home, because she was worried you may be feeling the consequences of having dealt with a particularly stubborn horde of Kuri earlier. Hence why everything to restore your depleted magic is already in hand.”

Alec knows he looks pretty pleased with himself, but seeing how visibly touched that news makes this man in front of him is also a worthwhile cause to be happy, without a doubt.

Raising his half-empty glass, Magnus addresses his gratitude to the ceiling. “Thank you, darling Isabelle.” Then swiftly downs the contents, before winding those equally strong arms around Alec’s neck. “You, however, deserve something altogether different as a sign of my heartfelt thanks.”

Alec couldn’t agree more, gladly accepting the thoroughly gratifying kiss that puts fire in his blood as his due for being thoughtful.

“Consider that the first of many you’ll be receiving tonight,” Magnus promises, as his thumb traces the outline of Alec’s kiss-swollen lips.

It’s Alec’s turn to heave a deep sigh.

A playful Magnus is a powerful thing, but if he wants Magnus brimming with energy to get those kisses, he needs to flex his culinary muscles without delay.

Only when he explains this is he reluctantly released.

Supplying a third martini to a now doubly-thirsty Magnus, Alec then focuses entirely on his cooking. Dodging those grabby limbs isn’t easy though. Mostly because their remarkably-energetic owner is a mischievous little shit who is in the mood for games.

A mood that Alec is hopeless to stop, not that he really wants to, even as he plates up the medium rare triumph and pours another zinger of a cocktail. Mostly thanks to Magnus’ excessive pleasure-noises as he works his razor-sharp jaw to chew, extends that elegant throat to swallow, and uses that wicked tongue to lick his lips.

Who needs actual food when you can provide a feast, Alec muses, chin resting in his palm as he dreamily enjoys the multi-sensory feedback he’s getting from a very aware Magnus. Is there anything better than seeing this man happy? Alec doesn’t think so.

He’s so eager for his second thank you kiss that Magnus has barely had time to put down his knife and fork before Alec’s dragging his chair out so that he can straddle him, their giggles making it harder but neither’s complaining.

“You continue to surprise and energise me, Alexander,” remarks a husky-voiced Magnus when they come up for air. “That was delicious.”

Alec’s about to thank him with a kiss of his own, when he adds, “The steak wasn’t too shabby either,” and they’re off giggling again.

Alec doesn’t think he’ll ever not blush when Magnus compliments him, and trying to hide behind his hands only results in being called “all kinds of cute,” so he sucks up all the embarrassing-but-secretly-pleasing adjectives being thrown at him and tugs his tormentor in the direction of their bathroom for phase three of his recovery.

Once he’s plonked Magnus in a chair and plugged his nonsense with a fifth martini, Alec fills the lavish, claw-foot tub with water, adding the iridescent blend of unknown boosters that he knows has to be used sparingly else Magnus will be on a super-charged magic rush again for days to come.

Alec didn’t think his body, or their bed, could survive that again.

Or could they?

Magnus’ filthy laugh means he’s not the only one thinking dirty thoughts, but Alec hasn’t gone to all this trouble to have both of them wiped out at the end of it.

“Cut that out,” he warns, to no avail, as he pulls the menace to his unsteady feet and begins the ever-enjoyable task of ridding Magnus of his beautiful clothes.

Meanwhile, Magnus is taking every opportunity to derail his efforts with kisses here and caresses there, deaf to Alec’s admittedly half-hearted protestations when he starts to return the favour of undressing him. All of which makes it impossible not to reciprocate with eager touches of his own.

Alec tries one last time to be good, even as he’s stepping into the bubble-filled bath and pulling Magnus down to rest against him. “I’m supposed to be helping you get your energy back, Magnus, not encouraging you to spend more.”

Magnus gives a lazy shrug of his shoulders, even as his hands begin to wander. “Then we’ll just have to take things very, very slowly.”

Oh well. He tried.

Chapter 2 - When You’re Feeling Sad

Alec’s just signing off on what feels like his hundredth mission report of the day when a message from Magnus shows up on his phone.

Mind if we postpone tonight’s plans? Fancy a quiet evening instead

His hesitation is brief, even if he’s surprised Magnus wants to skip on their much-anticipated theatre trip.

Not at all. Everything okay?

This hesitation is longer.

Tell you when you get home x

That’s all the reason Alec needs to clear his desk and inform Underhill that he’s done for the day. He knows Magnus had clients today, but he hadn’t been worried about them. As he heads home, he’s left wondering what could’ve happened since their goodbye kiss after breakfast.

The loft is in near darkness when Alec arrives, save for a sliver of light that spills from the balcony door left ajar, and the mild concern that prompted him to return early is replaced with a heavier sense of foreboding as he makes his way out there.

Hunched over the balcony wall and nursing what looks to be at least a double whiskey, is how Alec finds Magnus, and although his face can’t be seen from this angle, everything about his posture radiates a sadness that worries him.

“Magnus? Are you okay?” he asks softly, somehow still unprepared for the sorrow that’s etched on his husband’s face when he turns around and slowly shakes his head.

In two strides, Alec’s there to gather him up in a comforting hug, giving Magnus all the time he needs to explain what’s made him upset.

“We lost a promising young warlock today,” Magnus begins, barely audible from where he’s burrowed into Alec’s chest. “Her name was Zoe. A girl Clary saved the night I met you, after her father was killed by Valentine.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Magnus. I think I remember that name though,” Alec tells him as he presses a kiss to Magnus’ forehead. “Wasn’t she the one you asked Tessa to train at the Spiral Labyrinth?”

Magnus nods, a smile at least present in his voice now. “That’s right. She always had her head in a book, hungry for information. Gifted with an eidetic memory and a talent for learning languages, she really did have a very bright future ahead of her, until....”

Alec waits as Magnus drags in a shaky breath before continuing.

“As Tessa explained it, Zoe had recently added tutoring to her list of accomplishments. Something I was aware of, but I wish now I’d taken the time to ask her about. In lieu of her late father, I’d always felt a certain parental responsibility towards her. Anyway. While she was there, at the home of the family who hired her, she collapsed. No warning, no complaints of feeling unwell. No chance of help.”

Alec’s hands try to soothe but he doesn’t interrupt, preferring to let Magnus work through his emotions.

“I-it’s just such a shock, Alexander. Such a waste. Tessa said they can’t be sure it’s not magic-related yet, but...I’m finding it hard to accept that she’s gone. That I’ll never get to witness everything she undoubtedly would’ve become.”

Untangling himself momentarily, Alec brings him over to the lounger where he plucks the whiskey from Magnus’ hand and sets it down on the nearby table before they move in sync to settle in that age old way of dispensing comfort, with Magnus curled up in Alec’s lap, his fingers combing through Magnus’ hair.

“Magnus, I can only imagine what you and Tessa must be feeling right now. Passing way before her time, and so suddenly? It’s tragic. But I’m here for you. In whatever way helps you the most.” He’d protect him from every loss, every hurt, if he could.

“This is already helping. Truly,” Magnus assures him, head resting against Alec’s chest in order to hear the heartbeat he’s frequently said helps to send him to sleep.

Alec hopes it does now, and allows the long, peaceful minutes to stretch, feeling the tension in Magnus’ body gradually ease. He’s about to suggest they lie down instead, when Magnus speaks.

“I’m sorry about cancelling our plans tonight. I hope you’re not too disappointed?” A hint of amusement colours Magnus’ question and so, Alec takes his cue.

“Me, look forward to a show? Have you met me?”

It makes Magnus chuckle, but it’s a tired one. A state that’s reflected in how long it takes those beautiful eyes, too weary for glamour, to find his, and that elegant hand to cup Alec’s cheek in that way that never fails to make him feel precious.

“I have, and I will never be as grateful for anything else in this life, Alexander.”

The barely-there kiss is so reverential that Magnus finds sleep before Alec’s able to voice words of his own, but he hopes Magnus already knows how thankful he is too.

Closing his eyes, Alec promises to make a point of telling him as soon as they both wake up.

Chapter 3 - When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

Alec’s not sure what’s initially responsible for disturbing his fathoms-deep slumber, but the muffled stream of expletives he hears in that very familiar voice definitely has his attention now.

Reaching out blindly for Magnus’ side of the bed in the forlorn hope that he’s mistaken, Alec groans when all his fingers encounter is cold silk. Opening his bleary eyes to confirm the distinct lack of Magnus in their bed, he tugs on a t-shirt and stifles a yawn as he sets about finding the errant husband who’d promised he “wouldn’t be much longer” hours ago.

He’s just stumbled into the dimly-lit corridor outside the bedroom when a series of kabooms, followed by what Alec can only assume is a heartfelt curse in some ancient tongue, brings him not only to the half-open doorway of the unusually-chaotic apothecary, but also fully to his senses.

Surrounded by various experiments and too engrossed in the energetic scolding of his own fisted hands to notice Alec’s arrival, is a wildly dishevelled Magnus, whose exhaustion is writ large on his handsomely expressive face.

Alec decides they're both in need of a hug.

Hitching his top over his nose so as not to inhale any of the sulphur-and-spice-scented smoke that’s fogging up the room, Alec ventures cautiously inside.

Doing his best to avoid bumping into the extra tables that are covered in a myriad of mixing bowls and mason jars, and the messy assortment of ingredients that are strewn in between them, Alec inadvertently startles his fragile husband with his sudden appearance, causing him to dislodge a cylinder of liquid that scorches a hole in the priceless Persian rug mere inches from their feet.

At which point, Magnus promptly bursts into tears and collapses in a graceless heap on the floor. Feeling terrible, Alec joins him there and holds him as he whispers abject apologies that barely make it through the racket of frustrated sobs, until finally, in between sniffles, he receives forgiveness in the form of a salt-stained kiss.

“Magnus, what are you doing in here? Whatever it is, surely it can wait until morning?” Alec asks, using the hem of his shirt to wipe the worst of the tear stains from Magnus’ face. Even smudged and saddened, he’s still easily the most beautiful man Alec’s ever seen.

“Loathe as I am to admit it, Alexander,” Magnus replies in between hiccups, “I’ve bitten off more than I can chew with my current list of client orders, and instead of rectifying this sooner, I shall now have to admit to them, and to myself, that my own hubris will result in them either being delayed or cancelled all together.”

Even his gulp is cute, Alec muses, before pondering the best way to go about saving Magnus’ hard-won reputation from the brink of destruction, preferably without the need for any humiliating apologies. Given the time constraints, he can only think of one.

“I’m assuming at least some of those orders need filling by tomorrow if you haven’t been able to sleep yet?”

Sheepishly, Magnus holds up six shaky fingers, and regardless of whether or not the answer had been that or six hundred, Alec was not about to see those orders fail. Not with so much at stake.

Getting to his feet and pulling Magnus up with him, Alec offers his suggestion as his hands make light work of straightening out Magnus’ robe and his hair.

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” A hopeful glint in those warm brown eyes almost distracts him. “I’m going to put some pants on and make us both a generous mug of strong, black coffee while you salvage what you can here, and then,” he chuckles, cupping Magnus’ eager face in his hands, “I will try my best to help prepare the ingredients you need, so you can then concentrate on whatever process is needed for each order.”

Concerned, Magnus grips Alec’s waist and asks, “But it will take at least two hours for all the distilling and blending to be done, and then there’s-”

“Uh-uh, none of that. Positive thoughts only, Mr Lightwood-Bane, you have a humble assistant that needs training, after all,” Alec counters, dropping an encouraging kiss that threatens to flare out of control until Alec takes a firm step backwards.

“We’re supposed to be working,” he warns, wagging his finger at his unrepentant mentor and backing carefully out of the room, much preferring the sound of Magnus’ laughter to the sound of his tears.

With the aid of caffeine to boost their concentration and a near constant supply of cheeky kisses and inappropriate booty grabs, along with a lot of hard graft, dawn finds them bone-tired but relieved that their joint sacrifice has paid off.

Now, with two orders already boxed and ready to go, three in the final stages of resting and one that just requires filtering every half hour, Alec finally feels confident enough in their ability to meet the delivery deadlines to insist that Magnus, a spent force at this stage, catches up on the sleep denied him earlier.

Magnus’ mumbled protests eventually peter out as he’s carried bridal-style to their bed and tucked beneath the sheets, his peaceful expression being all the reward Alec needs to see him through the final hours of his vigil.

Chapter 4 - When You’re Feeling Worried

Having arrived home sooner than expected from his weekend of intensive Portal Enhancement lectures in Stockholm, Magnus can’t deny he’s more than a little disappointed not to be greeted by a strong pair of arms and an enthusiastic pair of lips.

Especially when his reason for curtailing his professional obligations was so he could be here for Alec on the eve of his important meeting with fellow institute heads.

Proud as he is of Alec’s commitment to change, they both know there’ll be many who will try and resist his controversial proposal that they each create their own Downworld Cabinet without delay, in order to deliver on promises made to their counterparts. As he’d said many times, no change worth making was ever easy.

A deep sigh escapes him.

Just for one day, it would be nice to let the mantle of responsibility slip from their shoulders and have nothing but each other’s happiness to worry about, but Magnus will gladly take every day he can get with Alec and cherish it, whatever the challenges may be. And right now, the challenge is to discover the whereabouts of his husband.

Skype catch-ups and hastily-arranged phone sex are no substitute for enjoying the tangible presence of your biggest supporter and primary stress-reliver rolled into one.

Only stopping long enough to make sure his research papers are stored securely in the apothecary’s safe and his case is banished to the bedroom, Magnus portals to Alec’s office where he finds his very own sleeping beauty sprawled awkwardly across the couch, surrounded by pages of scribbled out presentation notes, cartons of barely touched food and a dozen or so coffee cups that have been drained of every drop.

Another deep sigh escapes him.

Heart full at seeing that much-missed face, youthful in its slumber, but feeling guilt over allowing himself to be persuaded that Alec’s preparations were all going well and his smiling reassurances were genuine, Magnus vows to do better in future and prepares to get Alec, and his proposal, back on track.

Shrugging off his coat and folding it over the least cluttered surface he can find, he locks the door behind him with a quiet flourish and soundproofs the room, because as far as Magnus is concerned, only he should be privy to those adorable little snores.

Unable to give into the overwhelming urge to wake Alec up with slow kisses, Magnus settles instead on burying his face in the soft, untidy curls that still smell of sandalwood, as he kneels down to better wrestle Alec’s heavy limbs into a more comfortable position.

Guessing that Alec probably hasn’t slept much in the last twenty-four hours, he decides to leave him be for a little longer and covers him in the cashmere blanket that Magnus insists on being kept here in case of emergency naps, reviving the fire with a flick of his wrist.

Rolling up his sleeves and allowing his gaze to sweep those handsome features one last time, he turns his attention to the task in hand.

In the absence of a conscious Alec to berate, Magnus grumbles his way through the clean up operation, aware most of his annoyance is aimed at himself for not being here to help, but also knowing that sometimes, their work has to come first. He wishes it didn’t.

Decluttering the desk, and lamenting how Alec always manages to look after everyone but himself, Magnus' annoyance at all the unnecessary edits Alec has made to his already-perfect speech evaporates. As he organises them into what he thinks was the original order, it’s too easy to picture how Alec’s self-doubt would’ve made him see flaws in his preparation that just weren’t there.

Oh, Alexander, I wish you’d told me how you were really feeling.

Wrinkling his nose up at the pungent leftovers and the dark circles staining the surface of the desk, he quickly gets rid of the rubbish, replacing the stagnant odours with the mouth-watering smell of baked goods and beverages from their favourite bakery.

If he places it right under Alec’s nose in the hopes it wakes him up, so what? Magnus has been separated from the beautiful man that’s so temptingly draped across the cushions for two very long days and nights, and he’s missed him dreadfully. Surely, Alec has had enough rest by now.

Toeing off his boots and climbing cat-like over Alec to wedge himself against the back of the cosy couch, Magnus carefully adjusts the blanket to cover both of them and snuggles in, breathing in the familiar scent of the man and feeling at home in every sense of the word.

Arms tighten around him on instinct and Magnus can’t suppress his smile when it’s followed by a sleepy, “That’s better.”

“Much better,” Magnus whispers, trailing soft kisses down the side of Alec’s throat that can be reached without disturbing him....too much.

Appreciative noises fill his ears and embolden him to seek out more skin, until Alec is finally roused to wakefulness and greeting Magnus with kisses of his own.

“I must say, this is a very, very nice surprise,” Alec informs him once he has Magnus securely settled on top of him.

“I’m very, very glad to hear it,” Magnus replies, finally content but unwilling to let things he’s worried about slide just yet. “Alec, listen,” he begins earnestly, “you have to tell me when-” before Alec interrupts.

“When things get on top of me? I know, Magnus, and I’ll do better next time. Really,” he sighs, eyes closing briefly before they urge him to believe his words. “I shouldn’t have tried to hide my stress. I should’ve been honest with you about how I was feeling about tomorrow.” Tipping his head towards the cleared space, he adds, ”Preferably, before it got to whatever that was.”

Believing him, Magnus plants a lasting thank you kiss on his cheek. “May I humbly suggest that those unnecessary changes you made to your excellent speech be forgotten?”

“Sure thing,” Alec quips, eager to show Magnus just how much he’s been missed. “It’s like I’ve told you before, I can’t think straight when you’re not around.”

Magnus hums in agreement. “And as I’ve told you before, I can’t do anything without thinking of you.”

Alec’s eyes are dancing with mischief as he quickly flips them over to start working on opening Magnus’ buttons.

“Then it’s clearly in both of our best interests to stay as close to each other as possible.”

“Clearly,” Magnus agrees, following suit.

Then finally, their reunion begins in earnest.

#adaline-blooms #malecsanta20 #*gifts20

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thewildeleven · 4 years ago

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This was written sometime around 2015. While there may still be solid advice on here, I have to admit there are some parts I would've written differently. I am posting it "as-is," with the original text preserved, because it might help some people pero tinatamad na ako mag-edit.

"Any advice you can give to get better at poetry?"

This question has been asked of me a handful of times (most recently on tumblr), and while I never really answered it in-depth, I thought I would write something about it, once and for all. I'm not an authority on the subject, but I like to think that I write decent poems. So this will just cover some basics, which I think will help those who want to get into writing poetry and actually get shit done.

1. Avoid cliché like the plague--

First off, let me start by saying that I believe avoiding cliché is one of the best ways that you can watch your writing stand out and grow. I also think avoiding it is like any other skill in that one needs practice to be good at it.

Of course, to avoid this pitfall, you will need to know what a cliché is. "My heart is full of love that it might burst" -- that's a cliché. "Your smile is calm; it brightens up my day" -- cliché. "I would give anything just to hold your hand," -- cliché. Hell, even the title of this item, "Avoid cliché like the plague," is a cliché. Basically any line, phrase, or thought that has the air of being overused is a cliché.

As a testament to how hard this bastard is to avoid, even up to this day, I still suffer from using cliché to convey thought. I mean, who wouldn't, right? They're easily understandable, and easily-relatable. I read many people who wrote that their love is like that of the Sun and Moon, or that love is a tragedy worth dying for and everyone should be Jack and Rose and Romeo and Juliet. It's a quick way to "connect" to an audience and appeal to already-familiar feelings that reside in them. It's ready-made.

It also tends to make your poetry as stale as cold pandesal on a rainy day.

I don't know about you, but reading about how a heart was broken the same way for a hundred times over just doesn't do it for me any more. Maybe on the first read it will be nice, even cute. On the second it will still be sweet. By the tenth or fifteenth, going through a heartbreak poem littered with cliché is such a slog that reading becomes quite a burden. You may think that your poem is unique, as such that you wrote it in a room all alone with all the feelings and emotions of a heartbroken human being, but there are others who do that, too.

And I'm not saying your feelings are faked and your experience are the same as others -- they are not, and that's the point. I'm sure they are genuine, so you need a better way to express them and prove that they are unique to you, and you need to distinguish them from the common rabble.

So how do you do this? How do you avoid it?

You stop.

No, really, I'm serious. You stop yourself from writing.

Once you recognize that your line is a cliché, you stop it before it takes root in the poem. You cut it out like the unwanted weed that it is.

Then, — here comes the harder part, the one that requires you to actually think — you plant a new one.

So when you write "Your smile is calm; it brightens up my day," you think, 'Stop. Cliché incoming.' This is where your imagination and creativity comes in (funny, I seem to remember poetry falls under "creative writing" huh). Perhaps this line could do better with something like,

"Your smile is the steady hovering of a blackbird's wing above aspen — an effortless glide, as reassuring as air."

I hope you agrre that this line already does a good job of expressing the calmness of the smile, how it affects the speaker, and all without that pesky cliché looming above one's writing!

2. Love concrete nouns, marry verbs, make friends with adjectives, and kill adverbs. (also, don't write riddles)--

So once you get the hang of dodging every cliché your brain throws at you, you will need to have a lot of new stock so that you can replace the unwanted ideas. It's like taking the garbage out. You. Will. Need. More. Nouns. And. Verbs. This cannot be understated.

[Okay, quick refresher: nouns are names of things, adjectives describe nouns, verbs are words that denote action, and adverbs (sort of) describe verbs.]

You need concrete nouns and verbs most because when I said that you need to express things in more unique ways, that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to be "deep" -- just varied ("the more, the merrier!"). It's actually better to keep your poetry as simple and as easy to understand, and what better way than to use concrete nouns and verbs?

Consider Margaret Atwood's "You Fit Into Me:"

You fit into me

like a hook into an eye

a fish hook

an open eye.

— Margaret Atwood, 1971

Atwood uses very simple words ("fit," "fish hook," "eye," "open" used as an adjective) to express the suffering of being in an unhealthy relationship; this imagery is what makes the poem powerful. They "fit" in such a hurtful, perhaps even sadistic way - who would want a fish hook in their open eye?

Now, if that poem was written like,

You said you love me / but I know this is not true / You always try to hurt me / Huhuhuhu

-- then I don't think it will be as popular as it is. I think the beauty of poetry is such that you're free to explore expression; that you can express yourself in ways you have never imagined before, and that discovery is pure joy.

Why concrete nouns and verbs, then? Because they are precise. Because they can easily evoke images and feelings as accurately as you want the poem to be. Remember how cliché are like that? Concrete nouns are easily relatable, too, without compromising the genuineness of your ideas. It also helps if you use more specific nouns. Don't write tree -- write "oak," or "linden." Don't say "flower,"-- say "carnation," or "chrysanthemum." Don't write "bird" -- write "robin," or "rook" (yay Sylvia Plath!). It adds more character and nuance.

Abstract nouns can be misinterpreted; when you write "love," or "sorrow," or "sadness," it means a lot of things to different people. But if you want to get your feelings across as precisely as you want, you use concrete nouns and verbs. When I write "Your love is a journey that always leaves me heavy," people can interpret it as a bunch of wildly different things. But when I write "Your love was such a journey, and I am the sleepless horse, dragging carriage," it gets a more specific point across. Everyone can imagine what a sleepless horse dragging a carriage feels like; you would not interpret the poem in any other way. Or, at least, not without the pitiful image of a very tired and thirsty horse -- which is how I, the writer, would like you to exactly imagine it (as such). Concrete nouns and verbs serve this purpose.

Why avoid adverbs? I won't ramble too long about this, as there are times that it really is unavoidable. I still use adverbs sometimes (can't help it if there's rhythm to consider).

Adverbs are words like "gently," "softly," "slowly" -- and to avoid them is just good practice in general, because adverbs are shortcuts. When I write "I wanted to touch her hair softly," I'm being lazy, shortcharging -- basically cheapening the experience. What the hell is "softly"? Readers need to know.

If you can, try weeding out adverbs in your writing. You'll find that you will stretch your mind in ways that can help you improve.

"My fingers shall be dandelions upon your hair, blooms caressing bright tresses worthy of such light and gentle innocence" -- that's how "softly" I wanted to touch her hair.

You may have noticed that in this part, I was all about getting your point across precisely. That's because most people, when new, think that poetry is all about being enigmatic. This is like me in the past, like using obscure words and writing "mysteriously" make for the best poems. No! It's actually the opposite-- it’s about letting your readers experience your emotions in a unique but very understandable way; it's a way of sharing with them the experience through phrases that would easily resonate with them!

Do not write like a riddle-maker -- if your reader scratches his head after reading your poem, then you have failed as an agent of expression.

Another point: does this mean that you have to expound and transform every single cliché and abstract idea into a concrete form that the reader can relate to? Maybe not entirely, but this decision I would leave to you as an artist — it's your call. This is poetry, after all, and you still have to consider rhythm and meter.

(I will not talk about meter and rhythm because those two are entirely different beasts and I can write volumes on them that won't fit with the general practical approach of this write-up. Although, one practical advice I could give is listen to a variety of music. Pop, hip-hop, waltz, jazz, ambient, and maybe even some metal -- those will help your head get a feel for rhythm).

3. Let it sit, and revise, revise, revise

By the time you think the poem is finished, you will get this uncontrollable urge to post it or publish it immediately (maybe in an online outlet like this one, Facebook). My advice is, don't. Just don't.

Let it sit for at least twenty-four hours, then read it again. I promise that you will see different patterns emerge; you'll find a better choice of words for a particular passage; better imagery; a better sequence; etc. Basically, you'll see your poem in a different light. Do not be afraid to experiment and revise!

You don't need to post them immediately; think of posting them in this barely new-born state as pre-maturity. They may be a bit okay, but you have to believe that they can still be better.

If at least twenty-four hours has passed and you really don't see anything you can change to make it better (of that, I'm highly doubtful), then that's the time you can say with confidence that the poem is done. You have said all you need to say. Nothing left out of that particular idea or theme anymore. Then okay, go. Post.

But like good food, poetry takes time. At least remember to let yours simmer.

4. A change of environment or writing implements will do you good

A lot of people probably exclusively write with laptops and/or phones. Maybe they use paper and pencil, too, but never for creative work (academic stuff, etc). But try it -- I know it sounds like pseudoscience or overly-emotional bull, but there is a certain… sublimity in writing with paper. There was this poem that I wrote ("Aokigahara") that was written on paper first and then transferred on laptop. It looked like this incomprehensible ramble of shit when it was first conceived, but it turned out decently — thanks mainly to the writing being a different experience than usual. Similarly, if you're one who always writes with paper-and-pen(cil), try writing a poem exclusively on a phone or computer, too! See how it turns out.

Also, this advice I would give with such pain in my heart because I don't like going out of my room, but — GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND GET SOME FRESH AIR YOU MEME-INFESTED FHFJASGFKAHASAHJAH

There.

5. Read a lot of poetry

Kailangan pa bang i-memorize 'to? Read, read, read. Aside from learning a lot, you will find that voices matter, and everyone's voice will help you grow. Read the classics. Read contemporary. Read beatnik stuff. Cry to "Ang Huling Tula Na Isusulat Ko Para Sa'yo" for the last time, decide that while it is a good spoken word piece we should not all emulate it because that will make for a homogeneous poetry community and that will suck balls because everyone will be crying and everyone will want to die. Then watch slam poetry. Admire people. Be inspired. Everyone's voice matters (except those who still cling to cliche because they neglected point number 1). Which brings me to my last point:

6. It is not a contest

If you feel bad when you think someone's writing is "better" than yours, or that you find yourself jealous at how some people use words better than you do, then you're not writing in the right attitude, (wo)man. It's that simple, you're simply not. I can't give further advice regarding this because a.) you will wallow in self-pity and self-deprecation no matter how much I tell you that this is not a contest and, b.) your poetry will always suck because they are written in the spirit of impressing other people and not entirely about expressing and creating stuff. You disgust me.

Heh, kidding aside, just get out of this hole. There's really not much I can say about it. Renew your mind. Transform your principles, change your attitude. Be inspired of others instead of being jealous. You'll find poetry to be one of the most sorrowful and the most joyful endeavor you will ever get into (not to mention the least expensive).

7. ALSO SEVEN DAMN I ALMOST FORGOT PLEASE ACCEPT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM YOU CRAPTARD DOLTS NO ONE IS PERFECT

Cheers~

#poetry #poem #advice

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the-mandalorian-clone-lover · 4 years ago

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Aces in Spaces Chapter 4

Me: *comes in from armor painting and sits at my computer for an hour trying to remember what I told myself I needed to do on it* *Remembers its Monday two hours later* SITHSPIT

SO here it is!!

Erica and Roman have been dating about two months now Roman has not been to the support group yet but that’s coming next!!

Tags: @rentskenobi @sunshinepascal @princessxkenobi @maybege @obaby-wan

If anyone wants to be added let me know!! :D (previous chapter links are at the end this time)

2 months dating

They’d met up at a local park for lunch today, Erica texted him saying she’d packed an extra sandwich if he wanted to join her for a walk, at Butch’s direction he’d offered to bring a blanket and a side (Butch also had to give him a crash course on picnic food, they had very different ideas, he’s hoping Cheetos are safe, though he grabbed an apple on the way out, because Erica likes the green ones, he knows because of a random ice breaker she’d done with the team when she’d joined). It turned out to be a great choice because she absolutely beamed when he’d gotten it out, mumbling a small ‘you remembered’ and he’d smiled, handing it over with a ‘of course I did’. Butch also managed to talk him into jeans again and despite how deeply he’d sighed at the suggestion, they are comfortable, he’ll, grudgingly, admit.

They’ve finished now and he stands and offers his arm to help her up, she’s tucking the bags away in her purse before she glances up and smiles. She takes it, standing next to him before reaching down to shake the blanket out, pausing a moment before swinging it around her shoulders like a cape. He chuckles but she simply shrugs at him.

“Capes are the best, and I’m cold anyway”

Now he wishes he’d brough that leather jacket Butch offered instead of sticking to a T-shirt.

He reaches to rub her arms over the blanket starting a slow up and down motion before pausing at her forearms, “I’d have brought a coat but I didn’t think of it being cold.”

She shrugs again “I run cold. Honestly, I can get cold under three blankets in the middle of July its wild.”

Despite the adjective she uses, her voice remains monotone and he laughs despite himself.

“Well maybe the walk you mentioned would help with that?”

She smiles, “Yeah”

They start off then, she takes his arm again, other hand clutching the blanket (though its so thin he doubt it helps much) and nudging him in the direction of a worn path that she explains is a circle around the park, this way they can loop back to the car in time to get her back to work. He asks about her work, how the older gentleman at the bookstore is doing, and he ends up hearing all about the man’s grandchildren, latest favorite book, and small cat that also graces the bookstore with her presence at times (he makes a mental note to see about cat-related Christmas presents for the man, he’s taking such good care of Erica after all). When they started seeing one another, Erica had suggested she take leave from the syndicate until the relationship was more settled (working for her boyfriend hadn’t seemed right to her) and Roman had agreed, feeling it created an imbalance that could be hard to work around in the future. Enter the kind elderly gentleman (who she said was also a family friend) who offered her a job at the bookstore and though they haven’t been together long, Roman knows she likes it there. Maybe more than she did working for him. He smiles at the thought, it brings an element of normality to their relationship, both having “normal” working hours (which is really him organizing his schedule to leave the most time for her) and planning their dates around them like any regular couple (as if he wasn’t rigging it, Butcher always adds).

“Oh look!!”

He startles at Erica’s exclamation and by the time he’s turned his head to her she’s slid from his arm and skittered away off the path, squatting down and gasping softly before reaching out to something he can’t see. Walking to her and pulling his jeans up slightly before bending he frowns, raising an eyebrow.

“Moss?”

“And the orange mushrooms!” She amends excitedly, pointing just beyond her treasured moss to the foot of a tree. She looks to him in wonder before taking in his confusion. “Here, you can’t just look at it.”

She takes a hold of his fingers and drags them down to brush against the moss, before whispering a hushed

“See?”

He frowns harder but doesn’t pull his hand away.

“It feels, nice.” He finally says, ‘Not as nice as you do’ his mind adds un-helpfully and he swallows it down. He’s decided quite firmly that if there’s any advances in their relationship to be made it will be mostly Erica who makes them, and then, only with clear consent, him.

She smiles softly, “I had a back injury in high school.” She starts, “I’d loose feeling all over without any warning, it was really unpredictable. Sometimes people could touch me and if I hadn’t seen them do it I’d have no way of knowing.” She takes a deep breath, eyes still on the moss. “Makes me really appreciate textures now that I can.” She reaches up to drag her hand along the bark of the tree, “Each little indent.” her hand drops to fan across the sparse grass, “Every individual blade.” Her eyes find their way back to his, sighing softly,

“I know it’s not for everyone.”

It does give him an out, but it’s not apologetic, and he likes that. That she has things she loves and refuses to be ashamed of them. He smiles, genuinely, and looks back at the moss. Brushing his fingers across before turning his hand and dragging his knuckles across it too.

“It really is nice. I’d never thought of it like that.”

She hums, nodding and taking a deep breath before standing slowly. “Should we head back?” Roman stands and nods to her, turning with her to come back the way they came, making another mental note to come back another day when they have more time.

They walk in silence this time and Roman can’t stop thinking. What would he do if he couldn’t feel anything? Or, by extension, anyone? It seems a horrible thing to endure and some how he feels privileged to be privy to this part of her past. It doesn’t necessarily explain anything, but it is a piece of the puzzle and he files it away for later. He’s pulled from his reverie by what sounds like a sharp gasp and a hand at his wrist, stopping immediately he turns, had he been wrong to ask Butcher to hang back? He finds Erica biting both her lips and looking at his arm, his own eyes fall to the connection point where her hand is now tightly clasped, before sliding back up to hers in question.

“Um” She starts, haltingly, eyes never leaving his wrist, “I-- I was trying to reachforyourhandandImissed”

The end leaves her mouth in a rush and he leans the slightest bit forward in confusion before his brain processes and he grins, sliding his arm up in her grasp and slotting their fingers together instead.

He holds their now connected hands up slightly, “Like this?” for some reason it comes out in a whisper.

Her eyes follow the movement before carrying on to his eyes and he realizes she’s released her hold on her lips, tongue darting out to soothe them before she’s nodding minutely, smile starting as she reaches her other hand to cover his.

“Yeah.”

He doesn’t let go the rest of the time they’re together, swinging their arms a little too enthusiastically, thumb brushing across her fingers every so often, squeezing her hand at random intervals, all in the quest to keep that smile on her face (though its shown no sign of fading since he started).

It’s when she gets out of the car to go back to work that she pauses, turning in the door to reach back into the car, extending a hand palm up and flexing her fingers slightly in request.

He obliges, placing his hand in hers, and she squeezes, smiling softly before breathing out a small, “Goodbye, Roman Stanton.”

“Goodbye Erica Justice.”

She smiles at her shoes at the use of her full name, squeezing again in farewell before she turns to close the door and nearly runs into Butch. He leans back, smiling at her before nodding kindly.

“Be seeing you Ms. Erica.”

She settles back into an easy smile and nods, placing a hand on his arm before turning to go into the bookstore, and somehow, Roman feels like everything’s changed forever.

*******************************

Chapter 3 Chapter 2 Chapter 1

#ewan mcgregor #asexual #aces in spaces #ace character #original characters #original fic #new chapter #did Roman just fall in love?#yes #yes he did

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skeletorific · 5 years ago

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DUUUUUUUDE I'd love to see your classpects for the boys, n compare them to my own personal hc!! I love godtier stuff, and imagining them in bright silly outfits is just👌

This was so fucking PEACEFUL to work on it was a delight to do so let’s do this. I’m doing extended zodiac signs too because i CAN. Also, putting this under a cut cause it got LONG

CLASSPECTING THE SKELEBROS

UT!Sans: True sign is Scormino, Sign of the Fatalist

So, a point by point breakdown

-Cerulean: something that immediately woke me up to Sans as a Cerulean was the idea of a “mask for every occasion”. Sans is not one thing to all people. He flips between personas, adjusting it a little for each encounter. This isn’t because he’s manipulative per se, but because he genuinely thinks it’ll just make things easier for everyone

-Prospit: Prospit repression yo. Not to mention he’s more go with the flow than he is “fuck the system”.

-Doom: Rather than explain this connection, I’m just gonna paste the description for Doombound, since its practically a textbook description of Sans himself

Those bound to the aspect of Doom are fate’s chosen sufferers. It may not sound like an overly pleasant aspect to be aligned with, but it does come along with great wisdom and empathy. The Doom-bound understand that misery loves company, and they are ready and willing to provide said company. The Doom-bound won’t fix you; they aren’t healers. They are commiserators, aware that sometimes the only thing you can do for a person is let them know that they are not alone in their suffering. They are not the advice friend-they’re the friend you go to when you need to vent about a rough day at work. They are not necessarily noble martyrs, either-the Doom-bound can become quite irate about their lot. At their best they are wise, kind, and non-judgemental. At their worst, bitter, resentful, and fatalistic.

This is a summary of Genocide route Sans so succinct it could’ve been written about him intentionally. I did consider time for him, but ultimately Time is an aspect defined by a struggle. Sans does not struggle against the oncoming fate. He buys it a drink and hopes it leaves as little damage as possible in its wake.

As far as class goes, I classpect him as a Mage of Doom. One who understands or understands through their aspect, and no one understands the coming storm quite like Sans does. Mages are also traditionally understood as suffering as a result of their knowledge of their aspect whether too much or too little. In a sense, Sans’ relationship with the Anomaly encompasses both.

UT!Papyrus: True sign is Aquius, sign of the Whimsical

-Violet: Violet signs are noted for their eccentricity and individuality. I have a harder time coming up with two adjectives more fitting than that for Papyrus. Additionally, they have a reputation for craving social interaction to the point of being clingy, which is also extremely fitting

-Prospit. Not much to add to this one beyond going with the flow and an aversion to going off the beaten path.

-Breath:The aspect of freedom, confidence, imagination, and fun. Something notable about Breath players is that they’re at their best when they let loose and be themselves. Papyrus can’t really be who he wants to be when he’s trying to play a role, of guard captain or human hunter. When he’s being authentic Papyrus though, he’s capable of inspiring hearts and minds.

I classpect Papyrus as a Sylph of Breath. Papyrus does both literal and metaphorical healing. If you get knocked out during your fight with him, he carries you back to his shed and nurses you back to health. Additionally, Papyrus reminds people that they are free to chase their dreams and their own potential. He tries to make the Player recall their better intentions. He pumps up Alphys, restoring her confidence that she’s lost over the years. He heals the relationship between the player and Undyne in order to liberate Undyne to be her more authentic self: a woman who just wants to help her people. Additionally, he is a key facet in liberating the Underground, restoring the sky to people who have been denied it for so long.

UF!Sans: True sign is Tauriborn, sign of the Covetous

-Bronze: Bronze just has that earthy quality I eat with a SPOON for Red. Additionally, they navigate that space between a genuine desire for stability and a tendency to stubbornly commit even when it hurts you. Additionally, there’s a hedonism associated with Bronze signs that feels very fitting.

-Derse: restless skepticism, a tendency to mistrust, and rebellion in the blood? Sounds like a skeleton who’s been living rent free in my head for long enough.

-Rage: There’s of course a very literal level to this. Red’s one of the angrier of the skelebros. Additionally, though, there’s a resentment of lies and false civilities. Red hates liars, hates convenient likes. He tends to play his own cards close to the chest, but resents it in other people. Additionally, there’s a burn it all down impulse that’s very present in him that resonates with this aspect.

I classpect Red as an Heir of Rage. I tend to understand Heir as one who is surrounded by their aspect, or surrounds other with their aspect. Red surrounds himself in a field of rage, and those who are the target of his wrath are too. Additionally, though, he inherits the positive aspects of wrath, the bullshit detector and the impulse towards seeking out the truth. Additionally heirs tend not to take a very intellectual approach to their aspect, because they don’t have to. They embody it unconsciously.

UF!Papyrus: I kind of went over this but for the sake of coherency: True sign is Saginius

-Indigos: in addition to having a rep for being the bastions of order, indigos tend to devote themselves entirely to their interest. They can be sociable, but have a tendency to not really consider other people’s emotions, leading to a lot of unintentional hurts. Edge has a cold abrasive personality at many points, but it’s rare that he intends to hurt the people closest to him. It just sort of happens to him.

-Prospit: Again, Edge doesn’t rebel. He works with the society cards he’s been dealt. His prospit associations are where he’s closest to his Tale self.

-Hope: Hope is the aspect, not just of optimism, but of order. Hope players have a very black and white approach to the world, and dedication to ideals that they see as higher than themselves. Both of these are to me very Edge qualities, even if he’s not the most sunshiney person. He has things he believes in strongly, and he doesn’t wave.

I classpect Edge as a Knight of Hope. He defends his aspect, defending his ideals and the things he chooses to dedicate himself, and defends with his aspect, using his internal compass as a bastion against doubt and misgivings. Additionally, Edge has an inherent lean towards protecting and working for others, even if at his most unhealthy point his ego can make him bossy.

US!Sans: Blue’s true sign is Arcer, sign of the Officer

-Burgundy: Rust signs tend to be characterized by an unbending determination. Its not that they’re immune to the bad things in the world, its simply that they tend to roll with the punches and try to make things work regardless. Blue is quick to trust and overly excitable, but a loyal friend and an imaginative companion. All of these are Rust characteristics.

-Prospit: Again, unwavering optimism and a loyal temperament.

-Blood: Blood is the aspect of relationships and mutual support. Blue is an extremely social creature, prone to doing his best work via inspiration. He invests strongly in the people around him, and has a hard time giving up on others. Blood can also be the aspect of sinking ships. They tend to latch on to things and people other’s might consider to be “lost causes” and stubbornly refuse to leave them behind. I tend to characterize Blue with a low level of anxiety, constantly afraid that the people around him are going to leave him behind if he’s not good enough. Peak Blood player.

I classpect Blue as a Page of Blood. Like I said, Blue’s “Sans” tendencies come out in his interactions with others. Like most pages, he has a very shakey grasp of his aspect. He genuinely has the ability to make people feel cared for and comfortable. He even has great potential to inspire others to do better. However, he’s still in the process of learning how to command his aspect effectively, sometimes vacillating between overloading people with interaction and at other times barely confiding his emotions in even the people he should be close with. As this potential unlocks, though, there’s no ceiling to all he might achieve.

US!Papyrus: Stretch’s true sign is Gemza, sign of the Shrewd

-Gold: Gold signs command intellectual prowess, quick wit, and reserved tendencies in a way Stretch has done his entire life. Something notable about goldbloods is they have a tendency to refuse to live up to their full potential. They find their niche and carve out their mark within it while letting the rest of their life functionally fade to the background as “unimportant”. Stretch is adept and knowledgeable in his areas of interest and finds it hard to give a shit about the rest. Despite this, he still hangs on to the goldblood’s usually innate likeability, albeit without much emotional vulnerability.

-Derse: While Stretch isn’t exactly a rebel, Derse has an association with skepticism and a desire for rationality that inherently resonates with him. One thing that also stood out to me is a tendency to develop a very self-effacing sense of humor as a cover, which is a VERY Stretch quality. He doesn’t quite have the repression for Prospit, nor will he let himself be put into boxes that don’t suit him.

-Mind: Mind players (and Stretch) are defined by a certain sense of fluidity. They don’t really feel compelled to develop a strong sense of self, preferring instead to react organically to how they think is best and most logical to the moment. Stretch is a creative and quick thinker, which combines with a very nasty FOMO and an aversion to simplicity. Absolute Mind Player Core.

His classpect is tricky, but I feel Witch of Mind is the most fitting for him. Witches are often characterized by having a more lackadaisical relationship with their aspect. They understand it intimately enough to know how to break it when it suits them. In addition to reason and choice, Mind is also the aspect of systems and rules (think Terezi’s justice core). Stretch is a quick study about systems, but doesn’t necessarily adhere himself to them. Whether its a game he’s playing, a puzzle he’s solving, or a person he’s interacting with, sometimes the best thing in the world is to dig in and study until you find the point that breaks the whole thing open.

SF!Sans: Black’s true sign is Cancen, sign of the Translucent

-Lime: Lime signs tends to be characterized by forceful and intense personalities, with intense emotions and a tendency to fixate on improvement. They can often be effective at inspiring people to follow their lead, but have difficult personalities to work with. All of this is extremely Black, with the proviso that I tend to characterize him as often needing to repress those intense emotions. He leans hard into his own anger, but often covers up his other extremes for the sake of their own safety.

-Derse: while Black has learned to cooperate with the world around him, he’s never not going to be looking for ways to get around it. He’s often sardonic, and is usually extremely slow to trust those around him. He may put on a front of being the Queen’s man through and through, but there’s a lot of Irons in the fire that he doesn’t feel the need to make public.

-Heart: As I said, I tend to characterize Black as struggling against strong emotions that even he barely understands. He has a very distinct and strong personality, as well as intensive emotions. In moments of stress, he’s prone to intense self-reflection. Where did he go wrong, where can he improve. Additionally Heart players have an association with identity constructing, frequently diffusing their personality into a variety of splinter selves in a form of elaborate “roleplaying”, which to me clicks nicely with Black’s bossy and aggro Royal Guard posturing.

Its because of this struggle against his own aspect that I classpect Black as a Rogue of Heart. Rogues often struggle to cope with their aspect, and may even begin to crave the opposite. Black at his core craves the rational thought and pure justice of the Mind aspect. However, the more they embrace their aspect, especially in service to others (being a passive class), the healthier they often end up being. If you’ve read my “Tyrant” fic, Black steals his and Rus’s performance of self to allow them the freedom to act and pass unnoticed by the guard. He represses his own emotions to give space to other people’s, and at his best can redistribute his own assurance with his purposes to the people around him, making him potentially an inspiring presence.

SF!Papyrus: Rus’ true sign is Capries, sign of the Bold

-Purple: purples have a tendency to dedicate themselves to causes or people they care about and work until they are either stopped or made incapable or working more, much as Rus works for his brother’s well-being. Additional points of resonance were a macabre sense of humor, a tendency to withdraw when upset, a sense of fatalism, and a tendency to dig in his heels even if its against his own best interest. Plus….Clown Rus sexy what can I say.

-Derse: like his brother, Rus is inherently skeptical of easy outs. Like many Derse dreamers, he’s a problem solver, even if it comes at great personal cost. Rus’s Derseness is also exemplified in his tendency to develop strong bonds of loyalty to other people….without ever really allowing himself to be vulnerable with those people. He has the perspective that his emotions don’t truly matter.

-Time: Honestly kind of surprised it took me this long to make one of the Lazybones a time player, but I think making Rus it was the right choice. Time players are often defined by a sense of struggle. Time players are seemingly incapable of taking things lying down. Even if they won’t fight for themselves (and Rus rarely ever will) they often have an internal moral code that makes them unable to be a bystander. Rus is lazy, he’s a fatalist, he has a hard time taking care of himself. But he’s unable to stop himself from acting, especially when it involves someone he cares about. Additionally, Rus has associations with death in his judge role, which he takes extremely seriously.

I debated making Rus another knight, but ultimately I feel Seer of Time fits him better. All the Sans derivatives are prone to a sort of restless curiosity about the world around them, and in Homestuck terms I see that as a desire to in some way sync up with their aspects. A Seer is one who invites understanding. Rus seeks to reckon with both the cycle of life and death and the wide variety of timestreams that are causing havoc in his world. Unlike the mage, he has a hard time accepting what he understands: Seers are in many cases notorious for resenting the idea of someone else controlling them. Still, he’s practically unable to stop himself from exploring further, continuing to pick and pick at the scab of his reality no matter how much it hurts.

#yes-virtualcollectorofpeace #undertale #underfell #underswap #swapfell #sans #papyrus #uf!sans #uf!papyrus #us!sans #us!papyrus #sf!sans #sf!papyrus #classpecting #extended zodiac #headcanon #long post

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jeanvaljean24601 · 5 years ago

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Ann Curry Talks ‘Chasing the Cure’ and Reporting in the Age of Coronavirus

It’s safe to say that “Chasing the Cure,” the acclaimed medical series that marked Ann Curry’s return to the small screen, is unlike anything else on television.

Over the course of each 90-minute episode, the TBS and TNT series used crowdsourcing and a network of doctors and specialists to try to solve various medical mysteries and help desperately ill patients suffering from undiagnosed diseases. The show asked viewers, as well as teams of physicians and experts, to come up with possible causes and treatments, and also offered up a global digital platform to facilitate an ongoing dialogue.

For Curry, best known for her stint on “Today,” it was particularly important that the program put the health and well-being of its subjects first, assisting them with getting access to care and treating their stories sensitively. Reviewers praised the program for its mixture of groundbreaking science and humanism. The series recently won a Critics Choice Real TV Award and could be an Emmy contender.

“Chasing the Cure’s” first season wrapped in October 2019, several months before the coronavirus upended life. Curry believes that COVID-19 makes the show’s mission to connect patients and healthcare providers more relevant than ever. She wants the sophomore season to focus on the search for a vaccine for the virus. She talked to Variety about journalism in the age of Trump, life after “Today,” and her reaction to “The Morning Show,” the Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Anniston drama that is set in a fictionalized morning newsroom that’s similar to the one Curry labored in for 15 years. x96 tv box

Were you concerned that a show like this was inadvertently exploiting desperately ill people instead of helping them?Absolutely, that was my first concern. There was no way that I was going to participate in something that exploited already vulnerable people. The best way to avoid doing that was to put the patient first. So we stressed finding a diagnosis and then finding ways to connect these patients to specialists. We also brought in a medical ethicist to guide us. Everything came back to accuracy and credibility and fairness.

What I find remarkable is that of the 26 patients whose stories we aired, 17 were diagnosed. Many of them had spent years suffering from an illness they could not name. That speaks to the power of television and of the internet. The technology is there to help people, but the medical community, as great as it is, has not fully harnessed it to connect the dots.

How did the medical system let people down?There are a lot of silos that block people’s access to good care and they include not having enough money and not living in a place in close proximity to the right doctors and specialists.

Your first season aired before the coronavirus pandemic. Will that change how you approach another season?

The pandemic has changed everything and suddenly what we proved we can do is in even higher demand — providing credible medical data without a political agenda and connecting people with top doctors and specialist. People want to be greater forces for good right now and we provide a platform that empowers them to do just that.

The pandemic has really sparked a lot of conversations with our producers about how we can use our storytelling skills to put a human face on a disease that we still don’t fully understand. We want to talk to the smartest minds in the world as they’re investigating this novel virus and to tell the story of their search for a vaccine in real time. We want to delve into the harsh realities that this pandemic exposes about our country, including the epidemic of poor care for minority communities. android tv box

You mentioned providing medical information without a “political agenda,” but the conversation around COVID-19 and safety precautions such as mask-wearing has become highly politicized. Has that surprised you?I’ve seen this before. This is what happened in the early years of climate change. I’ve also seen this in different ways when I’ve covered wars or genocides. That’s when you see doubts sown about the veracity of truth. People are so distrustful of our institutions and of our government that science and even morality can become politicized.

How should journalists respond to that challenge?

All you can do is strive to be trustworthy, to be credible, to be honest, and to tell the truth. I don’t think reporters should be fighting publicly with sources. There are organizations that can handle that. Journalists should just do their job. They should keep their head down and stay humble. This isn’t a job that makes you popular. Journalists have always been consider scum by politicians and presidents, even their own readers. I’m not a believer in “both side-ism.” There are certain stories that have no other side.

But let me tell you a story. My father and I would watch Walter Cronkite every night. Once in a while someone fill in for our beloved Walter. And that person would say a fact in a certain tone or they’d add an adjective and it would outrage my father. He’d shout, ‘stop telling me what to think.’ He didn’t want to be persuaded. That’s not our jobs as journalists and doing that kind of thing is disrespectful to readers and viewers. My one bias as a journalist is that our job is to illuminate and serve the public. We don’t serve the owners of a newspaper or the head of a network or the person who writes our checks or our sources. I think that’s the one acceptable bias to have for reporters.

Do you miss morning television? Would you ever return to a morning news program?I don’t miss the hours. I now recognize how much sleep I was missing. I do believe that television is a great connector. It can be an incredibly powerful medium for good. I’m always open to doing new things, so I wouldn’t close the door on [a morning show] entirely. But I want to believe that whatever job I do, I’m doing something useful. x96 max plus

Have you watched “The Morning Show”? I haven’t seen it and I purposely made that decision. I love Reese and Jennifer, I applaud their motivation in making the series and support their mission to tell the stories of women, but I just didn’t feel like I needed to watch it.

COVID-19 is touching so many people directly. Do you think that the pandemic will make people more empathetic and more sympathetic to people who live with illness and disease? I don’t know what the longterm impact will be. I don’t think it’s the last epidemic we’ll face, though hopefully it is the last pandemic we will face. I do hope there is an awakening, because we all get sick. It is not something foreign to me and it’s probably not an alien experience for you.

With “Chasing the Cure” we told some pretty painful stories — stories that could be hard to watch. But we weren’t trying to exploit suffering. We wanted to empower people and celebrate hero doctors, hero patients, and hero viewers.

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kagehinataboke · 6 years ago

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For the writing prompts challenge, can you please do Bakudeku, AU 20, situation 1, sentence 11? ^.^

of course dear! from the prompt list we have bakudeku, neighbors AU, standing in the rain, and “Please stop making me fall in love with you! I swear, every time I see your face, I fall in love all over again.” oooh i’m so ready huhu~ ^~^

*****

Izuku knew upon first meeting him that Bakugou Katsuki was trouble. He was constantly scowling, as if the universe personally offended him, and had the general look of a mafia crime boss. Izuku, in particular, seemed to be the object of his worldly spite. The day after he moved in, he brought Bakugou a plant as an introductory gift, and he literally chucked it over the balcony.

If he really hated him, though, he went about it in a weird way. Normally, one would avoid the person they disliked, but Bakugou seemed to hang around Izuku more often than not. When he returned from evening classes, the scowling blond would be leaning against the railing outside his door, smoking or glaring at passersby. As soon as they locked eyes, he would tilt his head with a scoff, say something along the lines of, “About time, nerd,” and disappear back into his own apartment.

If Izuku was honest with himself, it was almost like Bakugou had been waiting for him to get home safely. You wouldn’t do that for someone you hated, right? Then again, it was more of a nuisance than anything else. There was a collection of cigarette butts growing outside his door. Izuku thought he ought to tell Bakugou smoking was bad for him, but he was a bit afraid he’d get punched, or perhaps chucked off the balcony like that poor potted yucca.

It wasn’t that Bakugou was unapproachable. The more time Izuku spent around him, the more he realized that he wasn’t a dangerous or threatening person in the least. He may have had the outward appearance of a thug, but he had a secret soft side. Waiting up for Izuku every night, helping the old man who lived downstairs carry his groceries, and even picking up lost strays: Bakugou had done all of those things, yet he still scowled and cursed and permeated the air outside of Izuku’s apartment with the stifling scent of smoke. It seemed an impossible feat to crack his shell and get to know the real him.

The tiniest bit of progress he made was offering him an umbrella on a rainy day. Bakugou had been waiting at the edge of the overhang for a solid twenty minutes, glaring at the dark sky with a murderous expression. Izuku thought it would be a perfect opportunity to get in his good graces—even if he only had one umbrella.

“Bakugou-san, here.” He nudged the blond’s arm lightly with the handle, hoping his head wouldn’t get ripped off.

“What?” Bakugou glared at him, but he snatched the umbrella out of his hand anyway. “I didn’t ask you for this, damn shitty nerd,” he grumbled under his breath. “Whatever… Thanks, I guess.”

Izuku felt his lips twitch, but he knew that Bakugou would be angry if he smiled, so he turned around to retreat. “I forgot something. See you later.” He disappeared into his apartment, waiting anxiously with his back pressed against the door for a solid five minutes. When he poked his head out again, Bakugou was gone, along with his only umbrella.

* * *

Izuku had to walk home in the rain after class, but it didn’t dampen his spirits in the least. An umbrella didn’t seem like a big deal, but it meant a lot to him that Bakugou accepted it. Having a neighbor who hated you was unbearable, so it was a relief to know there was even the smallest bit of hope for them to become friends. Bakugou had a terrible attitude, sure, but he was a good guy.

There’s no doubt about it, actually, Izuku thought, pausing at the crosswalk. He’s definitely a good guy. Even if he threw my plant, he’s got a soft side. Maybe like… a German Shepard puppy?

Izuku cracked up a bit thinking about his face when he took the umbrella. He’d been blushing a little, hadn’t he? Was he secretly the tsundere type? His personality certainly fit the bill. German Shepard tsundere.

“Oi, Deku!”

“Huh?” Izuku frowned at the childish name. “Deku? Nobody’s called me that since elementary school.”

“Fuck. Look up, you damn moron!”

Bakugou was standing across the street, pointing accusingly from under Izuku’s umbrella. “You gave me your only umbrella, didn’t you?!”

Izuku opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He was still getting over the shock of being called Deku, and by such an unfriendly guy. Did Bakugou come after him because he knew he gave away his only umbrella? Was he really that nice?

The light turned green and Bakugou stormed across the street on a warpath. Seizing Izuku by the wrist, he pulled him under the umbrella, nearly against his chest. “Don’t you know walking in the rain will make you sick, you damn moron?”

“Uh… sorry,” was all Izuku could muster. “How’d you know?”

“I… saw you from the balcony.” Bakugou’s voice grew incredibly quiet and he quickly shoved the umbrella into Izuku’s hand. “Ugh, whatever! Take this shitty umbrella,” he growled, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “I’m going back now.”

“Wait!” Izuku caught him by the sleeve before he could run off, gulping when Bakugou’s sharp eyes bore into his. “Uh, I mean… you’ll catch a cold, too. Can’t we just walk together?”

When Bakugou didn’t immediately protest, Izuku went for the killing blow. “It’s hard for me to carry the umbrella with my bags… and you’re taller.”

He seemed like he would refuse, but with an irritated click of the tongue, Bakugou took the umbrella and slammed the crosswalk button. “Fine, but don’t crowd me.”

They waited for the pedestrian crossing in silence, listening to the rain beating lightly against the umbrella. Izuku thought it was strangely calming with Bakugou standing so close. If he shifted only slightly left, their shoulders would be touching. Somehow, it was incredibly warm. Izuku still couldn’t believe Bakugou had chased after him with the umbrella like that. He really was a tsundere.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” he said lightly, hoping Bakugou wouldn’t get frightened off. “I didn’t realize that was my only umbrella.” That was a lie, but it wasn’t like he knew that.

Bakugou clicked his tongue. “Yeah, whatever. The light’s green. Start walking or you’ll get drenched.”

“Hey, you don’t have to go so fast!” Izuku hurried to keep up with his quick pace, grabbing the umbrella just above Bakugou’s hand. “We’re not that far from home. Don’t leave me behind.”

“Gross,” Bakugou grumbled. “If you say it that way, it sounds like we live together.”

“That wouldn’t be so bad,” Izuku dismissed before he could fully think it through. “Ah, I mean… roommates aren’t so bad. We already live next door to each other. Hey, Bakugou-san— You’re going way too fast!”

Bakugou stopped a few feet ahead of him, knuckles white against the handle of the umbrella. “You… you’re infuriating. Are you doing this on purpose?”

“Huh?” Izuku hesitated, staring at the spot between Bakugou’s tensed shoulders. The umbrella looked ready to snap in half. “What… do you mean by that?”

“Dammit.” The umbrella clattered to the sidewalk, rippling the puddles of water collected there. Bakugou’s face was twisted into the most anguished expression Izuku had ever seen. “Stop it already… I can’t take this.”

“Stop what?” Izuku demanded, resisting the urge to retrieve the umbrella. It was going to blow away, but Bakugou’s gaze had him locked in place. “What did I do to you? Do you seriously hate me so much that we can’t even share an umbrella?! All I’ve done is be nice to you from the start!”

“Exactly!” Bakugou snapped, stomping his foot in a puddle hard enough to splash them both, voice lowering until it was nearly impossible to hear with the loud drone of the rain. “Stop being nice to me already. Don’t bring me a plant or give me your umbrella. Get pissed and ignore me like everyone else.” He gritted his teeth. “Just please… stop making me fall in love with you!”

The words hit Izuku like a bolt of lighting to the chest. ‘Love,’ he said. Not ‘hate,’ but ‘love.’ Bakugou Katsuki; obnoxious neighbor; chronic jerk; killer of yucca plants… was in love with him? He had to be dreaming. I’m nowhere other than a dream would he be standing in the rain, receiving a confession from his would-be enemy. All he could do was stand there and stare at his anguished expression. Against all odds, had his umbrella become the harbinger of change?

“I hate everything about you.” Oh: he wasn’t done yet. “I hate the way your stupid hair curls up, and the way you smile so kindly at everyone, and the way you diligently help people like they genuinely deserve it. I hate how you never miss a class even if you’re overworked, and how you think the best of everyone right from the start.” He wiped at his eyes furiously. “Who gave you the right to be so kind? Why can’t you just hate me, dammit?!”

Izuku couldn’t follow what he was saying in the least. “Are you saying… you were trying to get me to hate you?”

“Of course I was!” Bakugou exploded, tearing a hand through his wet hair roughly. “What sane person would throw a plant off a two-story balcony?! I thought it would scare you off, but you just kept smiling at me like an idiot!” He kicked a nearby con into the street. “Fuck! I kept trying to ignore you but I swear, every time I see your face, I fall in love all over again!”

Wait… so then, everything that he did… was to get me to dislike him? Izuku’s head hurt thinking about it. Seriously, though? Is he an elementary schooler?

Seemingly satisfied, Bakugou stooped down to pick up the umbrella. “I think you get the message now. Good. Just stay away from me—“

“I accept,” Izuku interrupted. His edgy expression was getting to be too much to handle. Izuku would have to add ‘childish’ to the list of adjectives that perfectly described Bakugou. Childish, angry, tsundere German Shepard.

“Huh?” Bakugou squinted at him in confusion. “You… Huh?”

“I said: I accept. That was a confession, right? So, my answer is yes.”

“Are you kidding?” The umbrella fell to Bakugou’s side uselessly. “Did you… did you not hear a damn word I just said, you bastard? I want you to stay the fuck away from—“

“You can’t really expect me to believe you after you said ‘I love you,’ right?”

Izuku took the umbrella from him, shaking out the gathered water. “Should we head back? It’s raining even harder.”

“Hey, wait just a fucking second!” Bakugou grabbed his wrist, but he quickly lost his nerve and released it again. “I… You… you aren’t serious, are you?”

“Dead serious.” Izuku raised the umbrella to cover them both, offering Bakugou his biggest grin. “Let’s go home.”

He couldn’t say he’d ever really thought of him in a romantic light, but if there was one thing Izuku knew for sure, it was that he really didn’t like being hated by Bakugou Katsuki.

#writing prompts #bakudeku #kagehinataboke #answered asks #writing practice #feel free to send me some numbers from the list guys!

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sigurdjarlson · 6 years ago

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@owmyeyeballs and here the answers to the questions you sent me :D

3) You want me to describe the one I love?” Diily murmured, dark blue eyes darting towards you and then the floor. “Very well.”

She leaned back in her seat, drumming her fingers on her thigh. “He is...a force of nature. Extraordinary. Very Intelligent. Especially considering his limited lifespan. He could even put some elven scholars to shame.”

Her eyes twinkle with amusement as she glances at you, “age is no guarantee of intelligence. Some elves are 25,000 years old and still haven’t learned a damn thing.”

She shook her head, directing herself back to the question at hand. “He’s brave. I’ve seen him charge into many situations without a single thought for himself, only those he wishes to save.

He’s a good man. One of the best. He gives and gives..but never takes.” She frowns a little, deep in thought, “Selfless. He’d do anything to save this world even give his own life.”

She hesitates briefly, unsure of how much you want to know but continues nonetheless.

“He is..funny. He makes me laugh. The Puns.” She laughs in genuine delight as she reminiscences, eyes shining a little brighter but her expression grew more serious as she continued on.

“There’s a sadness to him. Deep inside. He’s suffered much. He’s given everything he has and gotten little in return. I suspect he doesn’t think very highly of himself at all. Yet he does what he must.”

Trying to lighten the mood once more she smiled. “He’s..hmph. Cocky. I suspect it’s a front in some ways but if he’s aware of anything it’s his own power.”

She reaches down absentmindedly to run her fingers through the fur of the large cat laying at her feet. “And oh, he is powerful. As I said he’s a force of nature..and yet he hasn’t let that corrupt him. He could if he wished. Easily.

I doubt there are very many people who could stop him but..he doesn’t. Instead he uses his power to protect. To defend. To fight evil instead of join it.”

Her smile widens as she glances up at you. “He’s an amazing man. I’m lucky to know him and even luckier to..have his friendship. Should I go on?”

She continues on anyway, happy to have a chance to sing his praises.

“Ruggedly handsome...distinguished.” She said a little coyly as if there was some joke only she was aware of. “Silver hair. Blue eyes that would make any woman swoon. Hm..tall, for his kind. He’s short by kal’dorei standards. He’s a human like you, you see.”

She was vaguely aware of how obvious her description of Khadgar was but found she didn’t care. “Built. He’s strong but he’s a..little soft in the middle.” She purred with delight and added. “I love it. Hm...he has many scars..evidence of years of battle.” Her voice softens, eyes shining with affection. “evidence of his bravery and sacrifice. They only add to his beauty.”

She sighs softly, smiling to herself. “I haven’t seen him recently but..I would like to. Being with him is a special kind of heaven.

I hope you get to meet him someday..and thank you for listening. This has given me much to consider..”

—

7) Her brows furrow as she considers the my question. How would she describe herself? “Loyal. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for those I love. Hm...Kind.” She tilted her head slightly as she struggled to find another adjective that wasn’t negative or self-deprecating. “Honest. Unless I cannot afford to be.” She finishes finally.

I would describe her as compassionate, loving and extraordinarily strong.

13) Compassion for all things. Her parents were very kind and loving people and they instilled that in all of their children.

22) She doesn’t mind them. When Alaluria is upset sometimes she’ll call her “Ally.” She’s affectionately called Ladelia “Little Star” since she was born. Or she calls her “Delia.” For short. She frequently calls them “little sister” or “sister” because nelves are just like that

Along with others she’ll call Faelilia, Fae or Erlaina, Laina as an affectionate short hand. Sometimes she’ll call Khadgar “dalah’surfal.” Which is elven for “my love” if she’s feeling particularly sweet she may go for my darling or dear heart.

As for her? Erlaina used to call her kitten to her absolute embarrassment and mild-not-really-annoyance.

Jeanette will call her D. Which she kind of laughs off. She’s had “Dil” used before. She doesn’t mind either really. As long as it’s not derogatory she doesn’t mind most nicknames.

“Silly Diily” her dad would say that a lot when she was really little and it would make her giggle like mad :’)

#asks #ch: diily wintermoon #its always interesting to answer as them #my ocs

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dearlazerbunny · 6 years ago

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Business Deals

Pairings: Kylo x Reader

Genre/Rating: CEO!AU, Rated M for smut

Words: 5000

Summary: for the lovely @mauvemountains, who requested some CEO smut! It went on a little longer than I planned, but I loved this idea. I hope you enjoy, and happy birthday sweetie!!

“Oh goddamnit.” Kylo is at the hotel bar with a bourbon on the rocks when he spots trouble at the other end of the room. “Of course she’d be here.”

Armitage doesn’t even have to look up from his drink to know who he’s talking about. “I thought they were slated to speak at another conference.”

“They were, I double checked- I can’t have anything distracting me.” Despite his statement, his eyes wander over to you nevertheless. He takes in your tight black pencil skirt and grey blazer that hugs you in all the right places; how your hair falls over the side of your shoulder as you pull it free from its bun-

“Kylo! Get ahold of yourself!” Armitage hisses from across the table. “What would the investors think if they knew you were mooning over a rival company’s CEO?”

Kylo’s eyes snap back to his business partner. “You’re right, you’re right. As always.”

The redhead sighs. “You need to get a handle on this infatuation, Kylo. It’s beginning to run on the edge of childish.”

“What, and become a stone-hearted bastard like you?”

The other man takes a sip of his drink then bares his teeth in a grin. “Exactly. Much more efficient that way.”

Kylo wants to groan in annoyance but takes another pull from his glass to cover it up. He knows it’s childish, and ridiculous, and dangerous, and all sorts of other adjectives that should turn his heart away from you in an instant. But he can’t seem to get you out of his head. Ever since he’d seen you speak at an innovators conference- oh god, what was it, two years ago? Three?- he’s been completely taken in with your voice, the way you articulate your ideas, the cleverness with which you maneuver through the corporate world. He’d been a nobody then, just a hopeful wanting to make it big like those he idolized on stage. But since then, his own company has taken off- in direct competition with your company, of course. That pretty much crushed his dreams of ever getting anywhere near you for good.

“Go over the list of investors with me again.” He nods at Armitage’s black briefcase sitting beside him. This is the most important conference of the year, with hundreds of potential new clients and investors swarming the hotel- he can’t afford to lose his focus. Not now. Not when so much potential is at stake.

As much as he might want to.

“Glad to see you’ve come to your senses.” Armitage gives him a professional, approving tilt of the chin. “So the first and most promising group is Organa Tech…”

“Oh goddamnit.” You walk into the hotel bar pulling the pins out of your hair, wanting nothing more than a relaxing evening before your keynote speech to kick off the weeklong conference tomorrow. So much for that. “Of course he’d be here.”

Poe doesn’t even look up from the email he’s sending to ask who you’re talking about. “I saw they were on the roster.”

You stare at him. “And you didn’t tell me?!”

He sighs. “I was hoping you wouldn’t see him until after your speech tomorrow, so your head wouldn’t fly off your shoulders. You need to stay focused.”

He’s right, of course. But as you’re walking up to get the bartender’s attention, you can’t help but sneak a glance at the tall, suited, handsome man sitting in the booth across the room. Despite his size, his suits always fit him immaculately, and those curls are just begging you to run your hands through them-

Your train of thought is thankfully cut off by Poe pressing an ice cold glass into your hand. The cold shocks you back into reality, much to his amusement. “Are you going to be okay? I feel like this is getting out of hand.”

You glare at him. “Nothing shakes me Poe, remember? I’m a stone giant. I’m infallible.”

“Until he walks into the room.”

You resist the urge to smack him very unprofessionally on the arm. You hate it when he makes a jab at your silly crush on the other CEO. And believe me, you know it’s silly- and ridiculous, and dangerous- but you just can’t seem to avoid the overwhelming feelings that crash over you whenever you see him. Kylo Ren is the enemy, for god’s sake. When his business took off two years ago, your bottom line took a substantial hit. But when you first met him, he wasn’t any of that- just a newbie entrepreneur with big dreams and a cheap suit. Kind of like you, when you started out almost a decade ago. Maybe that’s why you were initially drawn to him. That, and his gorgeous brown eyes, and they way he’s incapable of keeping his feelings from running across his face despite his intimidating nature. So when you see him, he’s never a rival, never the competition. Just a hopeful who wants it all. That’s probably your problem. But you can’t get that image of him out of your head.

“Earth to Y/N.” Poe waves a hand in front of your face. He leads you to a seat on the exact opposite end of the room than the guy you’re mooning over, which probably isn’t a coincidence. “Seriously, you’ve got to stop this. If anyone ever finds out you’ve got the hots for this guy…”

“I know, I know. The gossip mongers would be all over it.” You sigh. “I just… can’t seem to help myself.”

“Ah, love that will never be.” He takes a long pull of his drink. “So sad, so tragic.”

“I hired you to be my assistant, not a damn poet.”

Poe grins. “Poe, poet. It does have a nice ring to it.”

“Shut the hell up.”

…

You breathe a sigh of relief as you walk off the stage to resounding applause. Your speech had gone off without a hitch, which almost surprised you given your extreme nerves about this being televised all over the globe. Luckily, your fears were unfounded. Poe claps you on the shoulder backstage with a winning smile on his face. “You did amazing!”

“Thanks.” You smile at him exhaustedly. After an hour of all eyes on you, your nice, quiet hotel room is sounding really good. “I’m just going to head back to my room for a bit…”

“Oh no you don’t.” He glances at his watch tucked into his sleeve. “You’ve got a reception to go to. Everyone is waiting to congratulate you.”

Damn. You try to put a little more energy into your step as you follow him down the corridor. “Sounds good.”

He glances at you. “I know it’s not what you want right now, but the exposure will be good for us.”

“You’re right, as always.” You straighten your suit jacket. “Let’s do this.”

The reception is being held in the same bar you had a drink in last night, but this time with nicely dressed waiters and waitresses circling around with trays full of decadent looking food and glasses full of bubbling champagne. A low murmur fills the room, no doubt talking of business deals and who’s outdoing who.

“I’m going to get a drink.” You nod to the bar as Poe snags a glass off a passing tray. “Try not to seduce as many girls as last time, hm?”

“Y/N, I’m shocked.” He holds a hand to his chest in mock hurt. “I am always the epitome of professional.”

You snort. “”Yeah, right. That’s why you slipped your business card onto that waitress’ tray.”

“Guilty.” He looks off in the direction of said waitress. “I’ll meet up with you tomorrow?”

“Eight o’clock sharp.” You nod. “Don’t have too much fun.”

“The same to you.”

“Please, I’m making the requisite rounds and going straight to bed.”

“All work and no play,” he says in a singsong voice.

You roll your eyes. “Goodbye, Poe.”

He salutes and heads off in the direction of the blonde. You sigh and take a sip of your drink. You knew these things were always full of scandalous hookups- seriously, it’s like nobody grew up past the tenth grade- but you’d never partaken in any of the, ahem, festivities. You’re above that- you have a job to do and that’s it.

“Ms. Y/L/N.” Someone speaks behind you in a low voice. “I just wanted to congratulate you on your speech.”

You put on your best polite smile and turn to face the speaker… only to come face to face with none other than Kylo Ren. You immediately falter. Come on, Y/N. Get ahold of yourself. “Th-thank you.” You take a drink to hopefully settle your nerves. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Then, because you apparently have no chill whatsoever, you quirk an eyebrow and add, “learn anything?”

He grins at you. “A thing or two, as always. I never fail to learn something from you.”

You blush at the complement, hoping he doesn’t notice. “And I look forward to your talk as well.” He’s slated to speak tomorrow at around noon. “Perhaps you’ll teach me a thing or two.”

“Doubtful.” He tosses a piece of black hair out of his eyes. “But thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Anytime.” You nod at his noticeably empty side. “Where’s the red-headed ghoul who’s always strapped to your side?”

He raises an eyebrow and surveys the bar. “Probably off schmoozing with a waiter somewhere.”

You’re surprised when a laugh bubbles out of your mouth- and at Ren’s reaction, who smiles at the sound. “Now why is it both our partners are always having more fun than we are?”

“Hm. Because we’re supposed to be the uptight, professional CEOs?”

“Makes you want to say fuck it all and move into a shack somewhere.”

Now it’s his turn to laugh. “I’ve had the same thought once or twice.”

“After only two years? And you’re already a burnout?” You tease. “I expected more from you, Ren.”

He looks a little surprised. “Wow, you know my name. Color me shocked.”

You blink. “You stole nearly a fifth of my sales in the first month you opened up shop. Of course I know your name.”

“Ah. And here I was hoping it would be for more amicable reasons.”

Now what in the world does he mean by that? He couldn’t… could he? No. that’s insane.

Unless…

“It was a pleasure talking to you.” You hold out your hand and he takes it, shaking it firmly. “I look forward to seeing you again.”

“Likewise.” He nods pleasantly at you and wanders off. You have half a mind to stop him, turn him around, and yank back that hotel room number you had probably not-so-subtly slipped into his palm. You tip your head back and swallow the rest of your glass in one swoop. He’ll probably think your crazy. Maybe laugh at you, probably most definitely laugh about it with Armitage. God, what if he tells someone else? You look around the bar, which sometimes feels like it’s full of people just waiting to take you down. What you did was beyond risky, and probably wouldn’t pay off in any sense of the word.

But if it did… a small shiver rolls down your spine. A girl can dream.

…

It isn’t until he gets back to his own room that Kylo finds a wadded up piece of paper in his pocket, with the name of a nearby hotel and room number written on it. Someone must’ve passed it off to him and he’d stuck it in his pocket unconsciously. But who? He thinks back over the evening. His hand was usually glued to a glass of champagne, which was giving him a lovely haze right about now.

The only person he’d shook hands with was you.

Wait… what?

Had you slipped him this? Was this your room? Was this an invitation?

It was probably just a mistake. He’s about to throw it in the wastebasket when he glances at it again. What if it wasn’t? It’d be pretty difficult to absentmindedly lose your reminder of what hotel you were in in someone else’s palm.

Did you… You couldn’t possibly think of him like he thinks about you. That’d be impossible. That’d be… absolutely unbelievable.

But what if-

Okay. Think of the pros and cons here. Cons: if he shows up at your door, it could have been a mistake. He’d probably look desperate, and she’d probably laugh at him. His dreams would probably be crushed once again.

Pros… well. They speak for themselves. A small shiver runs its way down his spine just thinking of the possibilities.

That’s it. Decision made.

“This is room 405. I need a taxi as quickly as possible.”

…

You’ve been pacing frantically in your room mulling over your decision for the better part of the night, stealing sips from the hotel minibar, when there’s a knock on the door.

Had you ordered room service? You didn’t think so. You uncover the peephole in the door and almost choke on your own breath when you see Ren standing there, hair mussed and wet and with a raincoat thrown over his shoulders like he left in a haste. Quickly, you unlatch the door and pull it open.

The two of you stand there blinking at each other for a minute. And then, stupidly, all you can think to say is, “you’re wet.”

A little half grin appears on his face. “That tends to happen when it’s raining outside.”

“Oh.” You hadn’t even noticed.

“So…” he shifts awkwardly, then pulls out what looks to be your note from his front pocket. “I need to know if this was a mistake or not.”

This is it. This is your chance to say oh, sorry, I must’ve lost it, so sorry you came all the way over here, say goodnight and shut the door in his face.

But hell, you’re tired of being responsible. And if he came all the way over here in a rainstorm, he must’ve had a damn good reason. So you look him square in the eye and say, “do you want to come in?”

He runs a hand through his wet hair, spraying droplets everywhere, and for one terrifying heartbeat you think he’s going to say no. But instead, you stand aside and he walks in, and you shut the door behind him.

Once he’s inside, some sense works its way into your brain and you toss him a clean towel from the bathroom. “Thanks.” He runs it over his hair in typical messy boy fashion and goddamn why is this man so attractive. He notices you staring. “Thinking about something?”

“Um.” Now’s your chance. Say something witty and sexy that’ll make him putty in your hands. Or something like that. “I think the wet hair works on you.”

Slowly, he raises an eyebrow. “Really.”

“Mhm.”

He takes off his coat, revealing the same suit he was wearing earlier. You hadn’t changed either, so you were still in your business dress. “So…”

All at once, you laugh, and cover your hands with your face. “I’m sorry. I have no idea what I’m doing here.”

Luckily, by the smile on his face, he seems to think your admission is cute. “Let’s start with, why am I here?”

“To… talk business deals?” You say weakly, not wanting to play the cards you’ve been holding close to your chest for three years now.

Then, wonder of wonders, he walks over to you and leans over so close you can smell the cologne on his neck and the bourbon on his breath. “I sincerely hope that’s a lie.”

“Yes,” you breathe, the combination of alcohol and closeness making for a heady combination.

“Excellent.” Giving you plenty of time to pull away, he slowly raises a hand to the back of your neck, sliding his hand under your hair. It’s… god, it’s good, and you haven’t even done anything yet. When you don’t back away, angles his head and puts his lips on yours in the gentlest of barely-there kisses.

That’s enough to strike a hunger in your belly. You kiss him back, but definitely not as softly as he kissed you. Grunting in surprise, he pulls you closer while you throw your arms around his neck, pushing yourself into him for all you’re worth. He feels strong, and angular, and exactly like someone you want all over you right this second.

He pulls away after a minute, breathing hard, and you run a hand through your hair, pushing it out of your face. “Sorry. Too much?”

“God, no. I’m just wondering why we haven’t done this sooner. How long have you…?”

You slide your hands down to his very well defined waist, tugging up at his shirt so your fingers can slip under the hem and dance their way across his skin. “For a very long time.”

“Damn,” he breathes, and you pull him down to kiss him again.

This time the both of you are rough and heedless, caution thrown to the wind. His teeth graze your bottom lip and when a whimper escapes your throat, he gently sucks it into his mouth and bites lightly, ratcheting your want up to 11. You return the favor by sliding your tongue into his mouth, which he gladly accepts. He tastes like bourbon and champagne, and the promise of something really, really excellent.

His hands have been wandering everywhere, but not quite where you want them. He hesitates at your breasts and your butt, not sure how far you want to take this. So you take his hands and place them firmly on your ass, giving it a squeeze, and break away just long enough to say, “Listen up, Ren, I did not invite you here to be cautious or to think of the consequences. Now, do you want me or not?”

“Fucking hell.” At first you think you’ve gone too far, but then he practically throws you onto the bed in the center of the room, climbing up on top of you and pressing long, wet kisses to the side of your neck. You tilt your head to allow easier access and wrap a hand around his head, finally giving in to the urge to play with it. Experimentally, you tug a bit on the ends, making him moan.

He sits up, straddling you at the hips, and pauses there just to look at you. You look so beautiful splayed out across the bed, face flushed, want clearly in your eyes. And of course, his vantage point couldn’t be better. He’s already hard, and he rolls his hips a little against yours while he works on the buttons of your blazer, then tugs the shirt you have on over your head.

He’s rewarded with the most gorgeous bra he’s ever seen, mauve and lacy and lookin sinful against your chest. “Fuck,” he mutters, and you smile.

“Like what you see?”

“I’ll like it better when it’s on the floor.”

Holding his gaze, you reach around the back and undo the clasp, casting it off to the side of the bed.

Your breasts are spectacular. Round and perky but with enough weight to them to make you want to feel them for all they’re worth. Without thinking, Kylo puts his mouth down on your left breast and swirls his tongue around the nipple, making you gasp and arch your back, hands squeezing his shoulders for all you’re worth as sparks of pleasure shoot down to exactly where you want them. He continues for a few minutes, sucking and tonguing one nipple and rolling the other between his fingertips, and good god you think you’re going to come right then and there-

Swiftly, he gets off the bed and begins tugging at your skirt, which you happily unzip from the side and let him pull down and off of you. Matching lacy panties are revealed against your creamy skin, and you can practically see the lust dripping off of him as he hooks a finger around the waistband and pulls them down towards your feet.

You should be anxious, or self conscious, being laid out bare like this, but he’s looking at you with such a worshipful gaze you can’t help but stretch a little bit, letting him see all your curves and what you have to offer. It feels good, to be wanted this much. His hands caress your stomach, running over your hips and back again, counting each rib that sticks out of your skin with his fingertips. You’re squirming desperately, trying to get some friction to offset the growing heat between your thighs, but it would seem Ren has a plan for that.

Slowly, his hands make their way down to your thighs, scratching at your ass lightly and he squeezes. “Spread those legs for me.” His voice is husky and low, and it sends a shiver right through you. Obediently, you do so, revealing your sex to him, already glistening with the thought of him touching you exactly how you like it.

He runs a finger from the top of your slit to just above your hole, and when you gasp he adds another, running them through your slick folds. “You’re so wet for me.”

“God, yes, Kylo-”

Abruptly, he kisses you long and hard. “Say my name again.”

“Kylo,” you breathe, and that seems to be his cue, because he pushes off of you, slides your hips down to the edge of the bed, and begins kissing the inside of your thighs, leaving little love bites here and there. “Oh, stars,” you groan, spreading your knees a little wider. He takes that as an invitation to begin swirling his tongue around your clit, which makes you buck your hips in surprise. “Fuck!”

He holds down your hips with both hands, tonguing your clit lightly, then harder and with more pressure, alternating patterns and pressure until you’re not sure which way is up anymore. Then, as if that weren’t enough, he slides one finger into you, then another. You’re so wet it doesn’t even hurt, and you instinctively clench around his fingers, trying to get more sensation out of the deal.

You can feel his grin as he continues sucking on your clit, fingers working in and out of you, slick with your wet. “Jesus, Kylo, I’m- I’m not going to last like this-!”

“Good.” He blows a small stream of air onto your clit, cold and good, before once more giving it a kiss. “It’s okay. You can let go.”

That does it. As his fingers curl to hit just the right spot, you rocket up to orgasm, putting your hands in his hair and tugging for all you’re worth. Stars explode behind your eyes and your breathing is erratic and heavy as he lightly gives you a few more kisses around your sex and on your thighs.

“Fuck.” You can’t do much more than lay on the bed and breathe, letting the sensations wash through you in waves. “I want you so bad.”

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this,” he murmurs, looking at your body loosely splayed on the bed like you haven’t a care in the world.

“Oh really?”

“Since the moment I met you.”

“Well, at lest we’re in agreement then.”

That stops him for a second and you whine at the loss of heat. “You’ve… wanted me?”

“Is that not obvious?” You sit up and begin tugging at his belt, letting it fall to the floor, and pop his button and fly until you can see the head of hip peeking out through his boxers. “What else do I need to do to prove it?”

He seems to be at a loss for words, which you have to admit, you very much enjoy. Grinning, you tug down his trousers and underwear in one swoop until his cock is free, already hard and waiting for you. “All this for me? I’m flattered.”

“God- can you just- please-” You hum as your take the head of his cock into your mouth, sucking lightly on the tip. “Ohhhh, fuck, fuck me.” His voice is practically guttural.

“All in good time, love.” You start at the base of his shaft and lick upwards, curling your tongue around his dick until it’s slick and you can use your hand as well as your mouth. Your tongue works the underside of him while your hand strokes him, head bobbing up and down as you take him into your mouth again and again. Your free hand wanders to his balls and gently plays with them until his knees are practically shaking.

“Stop, stop.” You pop off of him with a sinfully wet noise, and he groans. “I can’t last much longer.”

You lay back on the bed, back flat, knees in the air as you spread your legs once again. “Then come have me.”

He stares at you for just a moment before crawling up to meet you, slowly, like he doesn’t want to muss the sheets. You’re both breathing hard, and the air is thick and smells like sex. He pumps his hand around his cock once, twice, before lining up at your entrance and smoothly pushing into you.

You hiss, feeling him stretch you out so good. He’s hovering over you, like he doesn’t want to hurt you, but you pull him down until your stomachs are touching skin-to-skin. “I want all of you,” you whisper, and he groans before dragging himself back out of you and plunging back in.

It’s simultaneously sweet and rough. One moment he’ll be pounding in and out of you, the next he’ll be rocking his hips back and forth to where he’s fully inside you, filling you up so deep you can feel his entire length inside you. There’s lots of kisses, and some laughter, and a lot of noises that escape both of your mouths. You’ve never been super vocal, but with every thrust another noise of pleasure falls from your lips, and Kylo is eating it up, using your noises to guide himself on the best way of pleasuring you.

Simply put, it’s heaven, the two of you pressed to get her so sinfully perfect it’s like you were made to be there. You can feel his abs curling as he thrusts in and out of you, and your hands scramble for purchase on his back, trying to find some grip against this onslaught of sensation.

Your name falls off his lips like a symphony, so sweetly you wonder where he’s been all your life. Then with one final thrust, he’s coming apart inside you, shaking as he fills you with himself. After a few more minutes of him teasing your clit with his fingers, you fall over the edge once again, this time in his arms. He holds you as the stars return and then settle, leaving you humming with an energy you haven’t felt in years.

“Holy fuck,” he says softly, and your only response is to curl into him, head resting on his shoulder, lips pressed into his neck. He wraps his arm tighter around you protectively.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” you whisper.

He hums. “Can I… can I stay here?”

You smile against his skin. “I’d be offended if you didn’t.”

He sinks back into the bed like he’s been waiting to hear those words. “Good, because I’m not done with you yet.”

You press further into his side, soaking up his body heat. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” When you kiss again, it’s like a piece you didn’t know was missing is suddenly there right in front of you.

…

He does his speech in the same suit he wore yesterday, but no one seems to notice. Clapping loudly as he walks off the stage, you make a beeline for backstage, wanting nothing more than to just see him again. The events of last night keep playing through your mind, a mixture of sweetness and desperation that could only be categorized as love.

“Congratulations.” He smiles as he sees you, a technician taking the mic off his collar.

“Learn anything?”

“Maybe a thing or two.” You grin at him, going up to give him a kiss, which he eagerly returns.

“Oh, shit.” Another voice speaks from behind you and you both break away, only to find Poe and Armitage side by side looking at the two of you with a combination of pity and relief.

“Ha!” Poe pokes the redhead in the arm. “Told you it would happen here.”

Armitage sighs and pulls out his wallet, handing a crisp twenty dollar bill over to the beaming assistant. “I really needed you to hold out a little longer, Y/N,” he says dryly, which brings flames to your cheeks in a level of embarrassment you didn’t think was possible.

But Kylo wraps his arm around your shoulder and gives you a peck on your cheek, effectively calming your nerves. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. We all know you wanted to see this happen.”

“Guilty.” Armitage, the more reserved of the two, has a small smile on his face, while Poe looks like he’s about to break out into song and dance. “I happened to see that the both of you are free for several hours before your next event. Do with the time what you please.”

As the assistants wander away, an unlikely duo united in their bosses’ hopeless crushes, the two of you begin to giggle as you fall into his arms. You’ve never been happier in your life.

“My place or yours?”

You kiss him on the corner of his mouth. “Wherever you are, I’m there.”

#star wars #Star Wars fanfic #star wars request #requests #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #reader insert

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dreadhaus-literature · 6 years ago

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{Writing Research} Obsessives

It’s no secret I’ve got a love affair with obsession. I could dive into why that is, I’ve talked about it a few times before, but that’s not the purpose of this post. No, the purpose, the focus of this post, is to explore the nature of Obsessives, the different types there are, and to establish more of a clear cut style of obsession so that I can refer back to it for my own personal writing.

I’ve said before but I don’t often feel like I’m scratching the itch I have when I write about Obsessives. It never feels like enough, and I’m hoping the work I’m putting into this will help. Maybe it’s a sense of disorganization? I know what I want to portray, but there’s so much beneath the surface it’s like trying to fit the ocean in a paper cup. I’m constantly feeling like I’m missing things, like I’m not really conveying the desperation, the “I’ll die without you,” level of obsession that’s enjoyable for me to write and to experience as a reader. It’s important to me that I get this right. I may be writing it instead of experiencing it but I enjoy it in all capacities so it needs to be done correctly.

So let’s start with the basics.

What is an Obsessive?

An obsession is defined as “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind”. To expand on that, when I think of someone who is obsessively in love, that’s the base, the foundation. It’s a love that’s all consuming, so that even day to day interactions or routines are plagued with thoughts of the Obsessive’s desire--who I will, for the sake of clarity, be labeling “Beloved”.

I.E., an Obsessive has a Beloved, the person who is their fixation.

An Obsessive may or may not know the right way to love someone. Some are more self-aware than others, they’re aware their love might be perceived as wrong or that the lengths they’ve gone to achieve it is wrong, but that won’t stop them from obtaining their Beloved--at least, I won’t be stopping them. Some writers don’t write their Obsessives actually gaining their Beloved but I think that’s weak. This is fantasy, and it doesn’t need to be a healthy relationship. Some things that would be abuse in reality I will write about in a fantasy setting and I won’t be labeling it as abuse--don’t like it? Don’t read it. I enjoy what I enjoy and this is the only time during this entire piece that I’m going to address this.

One thing that I will be taking away from my Obsessives versus what they’re like in reality, is that in reality people who are obsessed or who stalk victims, nine times out of ten, will change their obsession if their victims moves away. I am writing Obsessives for a reason, so once they’ve got their sights on their Beloved, that’s not going to change. I liken it to a soulmate. The Obsessive is convinced, wholly and entirely, that their Beloved is the only one for them. It won’t change, no matter what. That’s part of the appeal, that there’s nothing that can change this person’s love of you. You never need to doubt or worry that a Obsessive will ever fall out out love with you; once they’ve fallen, that’s it. The only way the story will end is with the two of you together, in whatever context they can have you--and yes, I am including murder. If the only way they can have you is as a corpse, that’s how the story will end.

Before I dive into the different types of Obsessive I’ve categorized, I want to add one final note--I mentioned above that I will be writing “abusive” behavior that will not be considered abusive in my stories. To add onto that, I want it to be seen as a positive. Everything these Obsessives do is in the name of love for their Beloved and is not done to be abusive, hurtful, or mean. So if you see something, like controlling behavior, you need to step outside of reality if you find yourself questioning it or having a negative reaction to it. These aren’t being written to turn a reader off, they’re written for the opposite actually--this is meant to be enjoyed. So if you find yourself reading about these Obsessives and you’re turned off by an idea, try and ask yourself, “Are you looking at this from a reality standpoint? Are you taking this to be a negative?” Suspending disbelief is important in all types of fantasy, and that includes taboo relationships like Obsessives.

Remember, they love you. Forever and ever and ever. ♥

The Different Types of Obsessives

In my research of this particular personality trait, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are different types of Obsessives. No two are exactly alike, which bodes the question--what types are there?

I’ve broken my Obsessives down to the following eight types:

Manipulative

Possessive

Controlling

Delusional

Aggressive

Sadistic

Masochistic

Protective

This classification of Obsessives doesn’t mean a character can’t or won’t display other traits, or that they don’t fit into multiple classifications--a character may possess all Obsessive traits or fit into all classifications listed above. Really, the main purpose of splitting them up like this is just to help identify immediately what an Obsessive might do or be known for.

I.E., A Manipulative Obsessive could still also be a Sadistic and a Delusional but be classed as Manipulative because that is the first place they go to when presented with their Beloved and obstacles surrounding the potential relationship.

And don’t worry, the next section will explain these types in far more detail, so that you can kind of get a clearer understanding of where I’m coming from with these labels.

I’m a firm believer in that any character can be or do anything you want them to. If you’re keen on saying a specific character can’t or wouldn’t do something, that’s your personal hang-up, and I’m not here for it--in fact I’m here for the polar opposite, and I’ve kind of made it my mission statement to prove others wrong. I enjoy Obsessives, a lot, and so I like the thought that any character I like could be one. That’s also part of why I made this classification, because no two Obsessives are alike and that might be why you assume someone like Steve Rogers, for example, couldn’t be an Obsessive.

...Until you break down what an Obsessive actually is, and find that the Protective Obsessive fits him really well.

That’s the key here; you can have anything you want in fantasy, that’s the whole point of it, and that’s why I’m exploring these traits, these types of characters. So don’t be afraid to indulge and enjoy what’s being presented instead of telling yourself this is OOC or can’t be done. I’m here to tell you, you can make anything work if this is what you want.

It’s what I want, so here we are. ♥

Classification Descriptions

As promised, I’m going to start breaking down the description of the Obsessive classifications so it’s clear what each type is capable of or is known for. The purpose of breaking it down is so you can see that any character could be tipped to be an Obsessive--it doesn’t matter who they are, everyone has the potential to fit into these categories, because everyone is capable of anything, especially when it comes to love and the desperate need to keep it.

In each classification I’m going to cover:

Definition and Defining Adjectives

Typical Behavior

Types of Rules

Types of Punishments

Common Phrases

Danger Level

The danger level of Obsessives means the danger toward their Beloved and will range from Minor, Moderate, Considerable, and High. No Obsessive will come with a “no danger” label as at the root of obsession there is always a chance for danger to present itself. It’s only a question of how much and what each Obsessive’s trigger is. The danger level also does not mean if an Obsessive category is ranked “Minor” that a particular Obsessive may not be extremely dangerous.

I.E. - Protective Obsessives are ranked as “Minor” in terms of danger, but a Protective Obsessive within that category may be extremely dangerous. The classification itself is ranked lower as they are generally only dangerous to the outside world and not their Beloved, but that may vary depending on the particular Obsessive.

Danger levels are always reflective of the Obsessive’s danger toward their Beloved; any Obsessive should be considered dangerous to anyone who threatens their Beloved or their perceived happiness with their Beloved.

Period.

Manipulatives

Manipulation is defined as “the act of manipulating someone in a skillful manner,” or “the action of manipulating someone in a clever or unscrupulous way.” - It’s important to remember this when you’re taking a look at a Manipulative Obsessive. This is the foundation, the basis for what type of Obsessive they are

The two adjectives I would use to describe a Manipulative would be Lonely and Clingy

These two traits tend to exacerbate their behavior and they can also trigger their obsessive tendencies; for example, if their Beloved pays them the slightest hint of attention or affection, as it is a “fix” for their loneliness or calls to their clingyness

Manipulatives arguably contain or can contain all the other classifications easily, meaning you’re most likely to notice manipulative tendencies no matter what classification you’re looking at

They may also have a higher success rate of actually landing their Beloved, as their methods are somewhat hard to divert or spot

As you may expect, Manipulatives are known for emotionally manipulating their Beloved to gain their desired outcome--which is first and foremost always going to be landing their Beloved for themselves

Things are often posed as a question, to help it seem more reasonable, or to distract from what is actually being asked

I.E. - “Can you please stop going out with your friend so much? It isn’t safe and I’m worried about you, sweetheart. They can’t protect you like I can.”

Some Manipulatives may not know they are actually manipulating; if they’re also Delusional, for example, they will simply believe what they’re doing is for the best, no matter how it’s achieved

Others will know what they’re doing and won’t care, because in the end it’s about their Beloved and no matter what, as long as they’re safe and with the Obsessive...then it’s meant to be

This type of Obsessive will never see what they’re doing as wrong, whether they’re aware of their manipulation or not

Manipulatives will often ask questions that are not rhetorical, as they desire verbal confirmation of what they’re asking

Actions may speak louder than words but if their Beloved is unwilling, then they’ll take the words even if the actions don’t match

Manipulatives, it should also be noted, will be prone to doing things like bribery for affection

I.E. - They’ll take your phone or your laptop, or they’ll take a favorite stuffed animal, and they’ll give it back if you give them a kiss, or they’ll let you go outside if you tell them you love them

These Obsessives will put themselves in the Victim role, but not in the traditional way; meaning, if you refuse what they ask, they’re hurt by your rejection and they’re confused by it, as they’re only trying to help, to do what’s best for you

I.E. - “Why are you upset? I was trying to help you, honey.”

I.E. - “Can’t you see I’m doing this for us?”

They are not above using guilt to get what they want, be it affection or really anything from their Beloved

Manipulatives, it should be noted, never set out to genuinely make their Beloved feel bad or to actually make them sad or upset--that would devastate them, to be honest, as they feel what they’re doing is to make their Beloved happy

They are just desperate to make their Beloved happy and feel they know the best way to do so

In terms of rules, Manipulatives will most likely be known for enforcing rules that limit who their Beloved talks to and interacts with, where they go and with who, and if a Manipulative has a particular trigger (such as separation anxiety) that will most assuredly come with a rule

As far as punishments go, Manipulatives run the gammot of whether or not they’ll be strict or lenient, and it honestly varies depending on the particular Manipulative

Beloveds of Sadistic Manipulatives should be careful, as that will take the emotional manipulation up to a 10, alongside physical punishments like spanking or being gagged or restrained

Beloveds of Masochistic Manipulatives, alternatively, will have to deal with a Manipulative who mopes, pouts, or constantly seeks reassurance that they were doing the right thing--which may seem punishment enough for a Beloved who has to give of themself to make the Obsessive feel better

Common phrases of Manipulative Obsessives include:

“Don’t you love me anymore?”

“I’ll die without you. I mean it, I will.”

“Tell me what to do to make you love me?”

“You know you’re mine, don’t you?”

“It hurts me when you pull away from me like that, baby.”

“Is it really so hard to love me back?”

“If you give me a kiss, I’ll give you your phone back.”

“Can’t you say ‘I love you’? Just once? Please?”

Danger Level: Moderate

Possessive

Possessive is defined as “demanding someone's total attention and love.” - That’s the easiest way to learn what makes a Possessive Obsessive

The two adjectives I would use to describe a Possessive would be Insecure and Distrustful

Possessives are often just distrusting of the environment around their Beloved but it is worth noting if a Possessive is also a Manipulative, they may pose questions to try and get their Beloved to cut ties with someone they’re threatened by

I.E. - “You say you don’t love them more than me...but you hang out with them so much. Prove you love me more and delete them from your phone.”

Most Possessives will never outright accuse their Beloved of cheating, and if they do, they don’t mean it--it’s a tactic to get their Beloved to do what they want by guilt-tripping them

Possessives and Protectives are extremely similar Obsessives; they share a lot of the same traits--the difference really comes from how those traits manifest themselves, and that distinction is also what makes Possessives and Controlling Obsessives extremely similar

Possessives will be the most prone, alongside the Protectives, to insist upon living together with their Beloved as soon as they can convince them to do so--but make no mistake, they want it immediately

This comes from wanting to be able to control who is around their Beloved, and ensuring the Possessive gets the majority of their time

A Possessive will not be happy living separately from their Beloved, period

Possessives are also the most prone to stalking their Beloved, especially in the beginning stages of the relationship-- that’s very likely how the relationship began

The Beloved will likely not know how long the Possessive has been stalking them, unless the Possessive admits it--and if the Possessive also has Manipulative tendencies that itself may be a little white lie, depending on what the Possessive is trying to get out of their Beloved

Possessives are incredibly controlling, especially when it comes to the relationships their Beloved is allowed to have

If a Possessive is also Manipulative on top of Controlling, they may be exceptionally gifted at subverting their Beloved’s time and attention from other people in their Beloved’s life

If they aren’t Manipulative, they will simple demand attention--and expect to get it

“If I can’t have you, no one can.”

It’s not just a cutesy saying, it’s the truth; Possessives have jealousy issues and the more extreme they are, or if they’re pushed or can’t openly claim their Beloved, the more dangerous they’re going to be about it

Rules of Possessives are exactly what you would expect; they control who their Beloved talks to, for how long, where they go, and it’s extremely likely a Possessive will insist their Beloved does not go anywhere without them--and they’re likely not going to be allowed to go out with anyone without the Possessive present

Rules may vary from Possessive to Possessive, but you can pretty much be guaranteed it will always include controlling time and attention so that they get the majority of it. That’s always going to be the end goal

No matter how much attention they get, it is never going to be enough

Punishments from Possessives will likely always include some form of Marking; bruising, biting, cutting, burning, branding--you name it, if it leaves a mark, they’re going to be fine with it

The more Sadistic a Possessive, the deeper and more permanent these markings will be, and a true Sadistic Possessive will scar their Beloved to ensure their claim is respected

If a Possessive leans more toward the Protective side, their marks may not scar but they will be prominently displayed and there won’t be any covering them up--and you will not be out of their sight anytime soon

Common Phrases of Possessive Obsessives include:

“I love you.” (This is said often, multiple times a day, vocally or via text, whether their Beloved responds or reciprocates the feelings or not)

“You don’t get to leave me.”

“Stop talking to them so much.”

“Pay attention to me.”

“Where are you going? I’m coming with you or you’re not going.”

“If you don’t want them to die, you’ll stop talking to them.”

“Who are you talking to?”

“Tell me you love me more than them.”

“Don’t you dare think of leaving me. I love you.”

“You belong to me.”

“I feel so afraid when I see you with others. I won’t let them take you away from me.”

“If you don’t stop covering my marks, I’m going to start scarring you.”

“You think I’m jealous right now? Keep talking to them and see how much more jealous I can get.”

Danger Level: Considerable

Controlling

Controlling is defined as, “inclined to control others' behavior.” - That’s about as cut and dry as you can get when it comes to describing Controlling Obsessives

The two adjectives that most describe Controlling Obsessives are Domineering and Protective

Controlling and Possessive Obsessives are very similar and share a lot of the same traits, and while the same could be said of Controlling and Protectives, they way they go about things differ and that distinction is what’s important

Controlling Obsessives may best be descried as a mixture of Possessive and Protective, with the addition that they will go to extremes to secure their Beloved’s safety and attention

Controlling Obsessives also monopolize their Beloved’s time and who they spend it with, and this is both because of possessive tendencies and because they believe they know what’s best for their Beloved--even more than their Beloved would

Controlling Obsessives will isolate their Beloved from others if they feel threatened, and unlike some other Obsessives they won’t feel remorse for doing it, even if their Beloved gets upset or angry over it

They know what’s best--period

They will also use threats if they need to, to get a point across or to get the end result they want--but it’s never threats against their Beloved and they don’t see it as doing anything wrong

Controlling Obsessives tell. They don’t ask.

They will require constant access to their Beloved’s possessions and that does mean their phone, computer, social media; all to monitor who is in their Beloved’s life and what is being said to their Beloved

If they do not like someone or the way someone speaks to their Beloved, not only will they insist their Beloved cease contact but they’ll handle it themselves...and depending on the Obsessive, that may or may not involve loss of life

They are extremely jealous, of anyone and everyone, regardless of the reality of the relationship with their Beloved and at times it will bleed into paranoia and they will become fearful of losing their Beloved

When this happens, their threats will increase, and their Beloved will notice a ramp up in their overall Controlling behavior; they’ll lose access to other people and will have to spend all their time with their Obsessive until the feelings pass or are appeased

Controlling Obsessives set the same type of rules you would expect from a Possessive or Protective; limits on who their Beloved interacts with, where they go and with who, and there is a strict restriction on freedom.

It’s a pretty big deal if the Controlling Obsessive lets their Beloved do anything alone and I’d caution the Beloved against getting used to it

Broken rules will result in the same sort of punishments as Possessives or Protectives; marking, bondage/restriction, the loss of privileges like a phone or access to social media, etc.

It’s important to circle back to that Controlling Obsessives are not in this to hurt their Beloved; they simply know best and won’t listen to their Beloved or be swayed

Common Phrases of Controlling Obsessives include:

“Until you learn who really loves you, you’re staying here.”

“Better get used to giving me your phone when I ask for it, sweetheart.”

“Tell me you love me.”

“You aren’t wearing that out of the house unless I’m going with you.”

“I need you and you need me. Say it.”

“Do as I say or next time this’ll be worse.”

“Behave yourself.”

“I’m doing this for us.”

“What have I told you about talking to them? You’ll only have yourself to blame if something happens to them.”

“No, I’m not giving you your laptop back. If you want it, come sit on my lap and use it. Or be without it.”

“I don’t like it when you say things like that. Take it back.”

Danger Level: Moderate

Delusional

Delusional is defined as “a persistent, false psychotic belief regarding persons outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.“ - Are you noticing a pattern here? This is the perfect way to get your foot in the door with understanding a Delusional Obsessive

The two defining adjectives of a Delusional Obsessive would be Affectionate and Devoted

The first thing to understand about Delusionals is that they range a little on what they may believe. I maintain there are two types of Delusionals:

I.E. - Type A Delusionals believe they and their Beloved are soulmates but does not perpetuate the belief they are already in a relationship

I.E.- Type B Delusionals believe, no matter the evidence to the contrary (refer back to the definition) that their Beloved already loves them and is in a relationship with them

Because both Type A and Type B Delusionals have a “blind spot” when it comes to their Beloved, they may exhibit different levels of delusion, such as not understanding they fabricated an entire relationship, or they may exaggerate normal gestures as grand gestures of love

I.E. - A Type A Delusional may be aware they’re not currently in a relationship with their Beloved, but their Beloved smiled at them today and wished them a nice day, so that confirmed they’re soulmates and they’re destined to be together

To an outsider, the minor act of, “Hope you have a nice day!” is simply a polite gesture, but to the Delusional it’s far, far more than that.

Any show of kindness or affection is going to be off the scales important and just confirms what they already know to be true

Alternatively, a Type B Delusional will not understand they made up an entire relationship. It does not matter what evidence they’re given to the contrary, you could sit them down and explain it to them repeatedly and it will not penetrate that blind spot

Same as the sky is blue and the ocean is wet, their Beloved loves them and is in a relationship with them

It’s also important to note that Delusionals will not exhibit their delusional behavior in any other aspect of their life with the exception of their Beloved--who is essentially their trigger

Delusionals are both equally rare (Type B’s are exceedingly rare) and common (Type A’s are fairly commonplace) as a person may not know they’re Delusional until they encounter their Beloved, their trigger

Delusionals won’t understand or even register their Beloved’s lack of affection or their rejection

It isn’t that they don’t understand the word “No,’ it’s that their Beloved is just nervous!

No matter what evidence the Delusional is presented with it will not change their mind

A Type B Delusional, who already perceives themselves in a relationship with their Beloved will perceive any negative emotion or behavior from their Beloved as “nerves” or “shyness”

I.E. - You don’t want to kiss because you’re shy!

I.E. - You don’t want to move in together yet because you’re just a little scared!

This won’t deter them, however; they’ll either unknowingly manipulate to get what they want or will continually, patiently wear their Beloved down

A Type A Delusional, who believes their Beloved is their soulmate but hasn’t fabricated a relationship will be much the same way--patient, but unyielding

Any negative emotion or rejection will still be perceived as “nerves”, as finding a soulmate can be a scary experience!

Don’t worry, they’ll be there for you while you adjust to the idea of being together forever

Out of all the Obsessive types, Delusionals will have the most common rules that seem to encompass all Obsessives; they want your love and attention, and they won’t take kindly to anyone else trying to intrude

They won’t knowingly set these rules or behaviors, as Delusionals don’t see themselves as anything other than in the right, behaving as they should with their soulmate, but you’ll know if you cross a line

Punishments will depend heavily on the type of Delusional; if they’re heavy-handed they may be physical, including restraints or marking, but if they’re more into verbal punishments you may find yourself being guilted into giving up time with others to give your Obsessive what they need to feel better

Common Phrases of Delusional Obsessives include:

“I just wanted to show you how much I love you.”

“Don’t be shy, sweetheart! We love each other.”

“Why are you upset? You’re supposed to give your lover gifts.”

“Why aren’t you smiling? Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Why do you always lock your bedroom door? You can’t keep me out, silly girl/boy.”

“Where are you going? Can I come? Let me come with you.”

“It doesn’t matter where you go, what you do. I’ll always be able to find you. I will always find you.”

“We’re meant to be together, baby.”

“I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you.”

Danger Level: Considerable

One final note: Unlike the rest of the Obsessives, it’s important to note Delusionals pose an almost equal level threat between their Beloved and outsiders, as this is a psychotic condition that skews right from wrong. They never set out to actually hurt their Beloved, but the danger is present in that they may not understand the difference between right and wrong

Aggressive

Aggression is defined as “a forceful action or procedure (such as an unprovoked attack) especially when intended to dominate or master.” - It’s really important you pay close attention to these Obsessives...because they mean business

The two adjectives I use to describe Aggressives are Forceful and Demanding

Out of all the Obsessives, Aggressives could be argued to be the most dangerous overall as they are without a doubt the most bold

Everything regarding their Beloved amps them up to a 10 immediately, be it jealousy or the need to “protect” their Beloved from...everything

These Obsessives will say or do whatever they feel is best and while this may cause problems with their Beloved...it’ll be okay because they know best

Like Sadistic Obsessives, these Obsessives are heavy-handed and will not hesitate to strong-arm their way into their Beloved’s life, or strong-arm people out of it

As far as Aggressives are concerned, nothing is off-limits; they deserve to have access to their Beloved and they can and will do whatever they need to do to get it

If an Aggressive is stalking their Beloved, their Beloved will be aware it’s happening, because the Aggressive will be blatant about it

I.E. - Coming home to find notes in their home left by the Aggressive, or even finding the Aggressive still in their home

Anything that’s done will never actually be against their Beloved, of course...but any outsider straying too close to their Beloved better be damn careful

Aggressives will absolutely attack or kill (depending on the Aggressive) anyone who threatens their Beloved and/or their relationship with their Beloved

Despite their forceful nature, Aggressives really do love their Beloved and will treat them lovingly; even punishments that may result in the Aggressive turning on their Beloved will be done with love, as they believe they’re doing it for their Beloved

The only exception to this is that unlike Delusionals, if their Beloved continues to refuse them, fight them, or provoke their jealousy, Aggressives will make good on, “If I can’t have you, no one can.”

Aggressives also have the least control out of all Obsessives and their Beloved definitely needs to be careful and keep that in the back of their mind

When Aggressives say, “Forever,” ...they mean it

Rules will vary depending on the Aggressive, but considering every emotion they have with their Beloved is amped up so high, anything to do with jealousy or outsiders is going to be a no-no in their rulebook

Their Beloved can expect to watch their step and should expect controlling behavior, especially if the Aggressive feels threatened or is feeling particularly needy that day

Punishments are exactly what you’d expect from this type of Obsessive; they’re almost always physical and almost always of the bruising/scarring variety

Beloveds should not expect apologies, either, because this Obsessive loves you and is only doing this to prove it to you; if you’d behaved, this wouldn’t be happening, would it?

Common Phrases of Aggressive Obsessives include:

“If you’d stop making so much noise, I’ll stop being so rough. It’s just, you sound so fucking pretty when you cry, so I can’t...really help myself.”

“You belong to me. Test me or make me prove it and I’ll carve it into your perfect fucking skin.”

“Do not tell me no.”

“I’ll let you out when you tell me you love me.”

“You think you’ve seen me jealous? Oh, baby, you haven’t seen jealous. Not yet, anyway.”

“If you try to run away from me again I’m going to break your fucking legs, baby.”

“What did I tell you about talking to other people?”

“If you keep refusing to speak to me, I’m going to make it so you’ll never speak again.”

“If you look at them again, I’ll kill them and make you watch.”

“No, I won’t let go. Not until you say, ‘I love you,’ back.”

“If I can’t have you, no one will.”

Danger Level: High

Sadistic

Sadistic is defined as “taking pleasure in the infliction of pain, punishment, or humiliation on others.” - These Obsessives almost speak for themselves, really

The two defining adjectives for Sadistics shouldn’t surprise anyone; they’re Cruel and Selfish

Sadistic Obsessives, like Aggressives, toe a line when it comes to their Beloved and the extremes they’ll go for them--and like Aggressives they will cross it and they’ll enjoy it

Unlike some Obsessives, who may not enjoy when their Beloved shrinks back or seems uncomfortable, Sadistics bask in anything they can get

Negative reinforcement is still reinforcement as far as they’re concerned, because it means they’re getting to their Beloved and in the end, that’s all an Obsessive wants--attention

They will not listen to objections, the words, “No,” or “Stop,” and pleading will only excite them further

They also won’t necessarily see these negative actions as “harmful” to their Beloved, as their Beloved is theirs to do with as they please, to love as they please and this is how they love

Sadistics will likely have the most violent punishments out of all Obsessives, as they enjoy inflicting pain and seeing their Beloved suffer for rule-breaking

These Obsessives live for tears and begging, and they are extremely adept at getting what they want

Beloveds of Sadistic, Manipulative Obsessives should buckle up, as they’re in for a real rough time of it

Sadistics are the most prone to force--they will rape their Beloved, either for the enjoyment of humiliating their Beloved or because their Beloved keeps denying them

Denying a Sadistic only feeds their desire, like fanning flames. If you’re not careful, you’ll build them into a frenzy you’ll have trouble walking away from

It’s important to note that Sadistics’s interest won’t wane once they have their Beloved broken in

Expect the opposite; now they fully own their “toy” and can break them as much as they want and it’s akin to falling in love all over again

Sadistics are known for offering hope only to take it away, or with-holding things until their Beloved is reliant upon them for it, like food or personal belongings

Sadistics may enjoy either physical or emotional pain--or both

These Obsessives are no less loving than others, however, and are most prone to marking or branding their Beloved to prove this love and devotion

Their love is claiming and it definitely means forever

The more broken in a Beloved, the more scarred or submissive, the more in love the Sadistic, so fortunately or unfortunately for the Beloved, the more time spent with the Sadistic just means the more in love they’ll fall

Sadistics will set the same standard sort of rules for most Obsessives (controlling who their Beloved speaks to, where they go, who they’re with, etc), but be aware--they may set ridiculous rules or will not tell their Beloved all their rules in the hopes that their Beloved will step out of line and they’ll be able to punish them

Sadistics live for punishments

And as mentioned above, Sadistics are going to have the most violent punishments out of all Obsessives; they are going to come down hard and with intent to bruise, to mark, to scar, to rip and tear and they’re biting to break skin every single time

As Sadistics are not afraid to force, they are fine to prove their devotion to their Beloved through violent, painful means, and this can also include forced orgasm/milking, claiming their Beloved publicly or in front of someone the Sadistic is jealous of, or marking their Beloved in a way they cannot hope to hide

Common phrases of Sadistic Obsessives include:

“I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you’d only behave.”

“If you ever stop loving me, I’ll kill you who you love instead...and still take you back.”

“Stay still. I want your make-up perfect before I ruin it.”

“Beg. Beg me to stop.”

“This is why I punish you, baby. You have to learn.”

“What did I say about covering my marks? Do I need to make them permanent?”

“You’re just so fucking beautiful when you cry.”

“One day I’m going to kill you, sweetheart. For no other reason than you’re mine.”

“Call them. I’m going to fuck you while you’re on the phone with them so they know you’re mine.”

“You like when I hurt you, don’t you? Yes you do, I can feel how wet/hard you are.”

“M-I-N-E. Look, baby, carved right into your tummy. Now you’ll never forget.”

Danger Level: High

Masochistic

Masochistic is defined as “deriving sexual gratification from being subjected to physical pain or humiliation.” - Like Sadistics, these Obsessives mildly speak for themselves

The two defining adjectives of Masochistics are Desperate and Needy

This, straight away, paints a pretty clear picture of the type of Obsessive a Masochistic is; they are desperate for any sort of attention they can get from their Beloved...and I do mean any attention

Masochistic Obsessives are exactly what one might be expecting; they are the polar opposite of Sadistic Obsessives, and share very similar traits with Manipulatives

In keeping with being the opposite of Sadistics, Masochistics derive pleasure from their Beloved rejecting them or treating them poorly

Some Masochistics really get off on being humiliated by their Beloved--

I.E. - “Why would I ever be with someone like you?”

This may have to do with the Obsessive’s poor self-esteem, or it may simply be a sexual interest of theirs; this will depend on the individual Masochistic--but it’s always, always enjoyed

Others enjoy repeated rejections of any sort, almost taking them as acceptances because their Beloved is making them feel good

How could it not be a match made in heaven when their Beloved knows exactly how to treat them?

One parallel that Masochistics do share with Sadistics is that they’re completely fine with making their Beloved uncomfortable

Not only do they not mind if their Beloved is uncomfortable, but they’ll push their limit if they feel it will earn them either affection...or worse

Negative reinforcement may as well be positive for these Obsessives; their Beloved’s really will have a tough time because whether they’re sweet or mean, the Masochistic will enjoy it

Masochistics openly enjoy mistreatment of any sort; this includes physical or otherwise

Yes, that does mean striking these Obsessives or fighting them excites them further

There really is no wrong way to love these Obsessives...and no real way to reject them either

Like Sadistics, once their Beloved is theirs, the Masochistic Obsessive will simply evolve into a healthy S&M relationship with their Beloved

Masochistics will only grow more enamored when their Beloved gives in, as it feeds into their desperate and needy personalities, and really the end goal for them has always been their Beloved’s love and affection

Rules for Masochistics will be the same as you would expect for other Obsessives; Masochistics may be into pain of all sorts but they’re not going to tolerate someone else moving in on their Beloved, so you’ll still need to mind your P’s and Q’s around them

Depending on what other traits a Masochistic displays, they may be extra strict and controlling, and if they’re possessive they won’t hesitate to give you marks to match the ones they’ve given themselves in your honor

Punishments from Masochistics will be unique; if they have Sadistic or Controlling tendencies their Beloved should expect that to come out to play, but if they’re solely Masochistic, their Beloved will have to deal with an Obsessive who will harm themselves to prove a point

Self-harm and self-mutilation are done both as punishments to get their Beloved to behave, and also done as a reward for the Masochistic...sadly for their Beloved, it’s a win-win for the Obsessive

Common phrases of Masochistic Obsessives include:

“If you’re mad at me...If it will make you smile, you can hit me.”

“I love you so much it hurts.”

“It’s okay if you hate me. I still love you.”

“I like when you bite me when we kiss, sweetheart.”

“I carved your name into my arm. See how much I love you? Now I’m yours forever and the whole world will know it!”

“I’ll tell you I love you until my throat bleeds.”

“You can be mad at me, it’s okay, but I have to kiss you.”

“I just wanted to show you how much I love you.”

“I like when you tell me you hate me.”

“Fight me all you want. It feels good when you do.”

“No one will ever love you like I love you. I can prove it.”

Danger Level: Minor

Protective

Protective is defined as, “to cover or shield from injury, damage, or destruction.” - As with the other definitions, this is the best place to start when classifying Protectives

The two defining adjectives for Protectives are Caring and Possessive

The last of the Obsessives in the classification list may be the most common of them all--right alongside Possessives, whom they share great deal of traits with

However, unlike almost all the other Obsessive types, Protectives have clear lines they will never cross when it comes to their Beloved

Protectives’ entire stance as Obsessives comes from an overwhelming need to keep their Beloved safe, and while they will never endanger their Beloved as a result of that...they will exert control if they need to

As with Manipulatives, Protectives show many of the same common traits with the other Obsessive types, with the sole exception that they won’t go to extremes with anything to do with their Beloved’s health

First and foremost, their Beloved’s health and safety rank above everything else--and that does include their happiness, as Protectives are under the belief that they can’t be happy if they aren’t healthy and safe

With that being said, this also makes Protectives prone to kidnapping and confining their Beloved to a single room or the Obsessive’s home for their Beloved’s own “safety”

Some Protectives will ask their Beloved to move in with them and will only resort to kidnapping if their Beloved refuses the offer, but others will simply act on what they know is best, if they can’t get their Beloved to agree to move in immediately

Like Possessives, Protectives will not be happy, nor will they be able to function properly if they are living separately from their Beloved

They will obsessively stalk their Beloved, spending hours and hours of their day watching over them to ensure their safety, and will monitor their social media--this includes cloning their Beloved’s phone or stealing their laptop to maintain a constant, present vigil in their lives

Like most other Obsessives, Protectives do not see what they’re doing as wrong, no matter what evidence is given to them in the contrary

You are so small and weak, so fragile, you’re not safe in the world without them!

They love their Beloved and the world is a dangerous, scary place; they are terrified at the thought of something happening to you to the point it will give them nightmares

That’s why they need you close, so they can be reassured nothing will happen to you and you’ll be theirs forever

This fear can make the Protective extremely controlling and coupled with their possessive tendencies this can lead to a massive reduction in personal space and freedom

While it is true, Protectives will never hurt their Beloved...they will absolutely hurt or even kill others for their Beloved

The single, smallest slight against their Beloved will amp them up to a 100 real quick, and depending on the Protective, will result in anything ranging from the offender’s life being ruined publicly, financially, or simply snuffed out

Beloveds of Protectives will have to be extremely careful with their words, because something that may not have bothered them at all may sound like the end of the world to their Protective, and the following day the Beloved’s life may be down one person

Out of all the Obsessives, with the exception of Controlling Obsessives, Protectives are going to have the most rules, but they’ll be expressly clear about them

These rules will range from not leaving the house without them, a time limit where their Beloved must answer their text messages, who they’re allowed to text in the first place, requiring their phone location being turned on 24/7, being extremely strict with meal times and ensuring their Beloved is eating enough...etc.

Punishments from Protectives will be no less severe simply because of the Protective’s stance on never harming their Beloved--if their Beloved isn’t adhering to the rules being set, then they’re putting their own life at risk

Protectives won’t accept that, not even from their Beloved

Punishments will typically be non-physical, but a corrective spanking or a bondage restriction may come into play depending on what rules were broken

Punishments will usually be verbal corrections and the Protective will expect an apology, as they’re doing what they’re doing for their Beloved and they’re doing it out of love

Common phrases of Protective Obsessives include:

“I really don’t wanna hurt you, baby, so please don’t struggle.”

“I know you thought they were your friend but...I didn’t trust them. They had to go, I couldn’t let them hurt you, could I?”

“I’ll lock you up and throw away the goddamn key if you ever do something that dangerous ever again.”

“You will do what I say. It’s for your own good.”

“You know better than to leave the house without me, honey.”

“Be good for me, baby. I don’t want to have to see your tears again.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to you.”

“If they hurt you, they’re dead. You hear me, baby? Dead.”

“I just want us to be happy together. I can’t let anyone get in the way of that. You understand, don’t you?”

‘‘No, you can’t go back, baby. This is your home now. You’re safe here. You’ll see.”

“I’m doing this because I love you. You know that, don’t you? I love you so much.”

Danger Level: Minor

Conclusion

Could a post like this really have an end? Maybe conclusion isn’t the right word, because now that this door is open...there’s a whole world of possibilities waiting for me on the other side.

And I’m honestly so excited about that. This research was so much fun to do, and as I mentioned, my whole purpose for doing this was to be able to take anyone in FL and apply this to them, because it’s something I enjoy and believe should be enjoyed.

So where to go from here? Well, I already have a couple ideas; one, is to go through and list some examples in a follow-up post, listing different Family members that could suit each of these classifications, to provide further example of not only the application of this post, but that my model for these being able to suit anyone actually working.

I also opened the floor for Monica to add onto this as she saw fit, and that includes being able to send me names and requests, love--like you want to see Peter Parker as a Manipulative Obsessive. So if you have any requests or questions, love, you feel free to interact with this post as much as you want. I really want this to be the start of something, not the end of something, and I’m always happy to share everything with you! ♥

Keep an eye out for this to start making a more prominent appearance in my writing, too. Which, honestly, probably deserves the devil emoji because I have asked Bunny lots of questions about what she’s okay with and what she likes...so yeah.

Consider this door open and Mama’s about to start unleashing some demons.

#{theme} : writing research #{theme} : writing references

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rankakiu · 6 years ago

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Thoughts of the Droid: Dragon Ball Super: Broly (2019)

Hello, people of Tumblr! How does life treat you? As always, your friend Rankakiu hopes that very well. Finally, I had the opportunity to see "Dragon Ball Super: Broly", this being the first film I see in this 2019 in progress. Without further ado, let's give it.

Warning: NOT FREE SPOILERS. Read it at your own risk.

It's not the first time the iconic character of Broly has been used in the franchise. He had previously appeared in three films in the format of OVA: "Dragon Ball Z: Broly – The Legendary Super Saiyan", "Dragon Ball Z: Broly – Second Coming" and finally "Dragon Ball Z: Bio-Broly", being this third installment the most controversial because of its low quality. With the inclusion of the character in this recent installment, Broly has become part of the canon of the franchise, along with other characters of yesteryear like Bardock, Paragus, and Gogeta, in addition, to also add to the canon recent characters like Gine, the mother of Goku.

Entering already in full in the review, What do I think about the movie? Short answer: Good and entertaining. Now let's go into more details to analyze the movie properly.

Characters: Our favorite characters and we absolutely all know, returns. Along with old acquaintances, arrive new ones that are quite nice and charming, adjectives that describe very well Cheelai and Lemo, two characters that not only serve as comic relief, but also help Broly on several occasions, either teaching the Saiyan naive how the world works (or universe, as you want to see it), or saving it -literally- life. Highlight especially Cheelai. Her design is beautiful and her personality spreads enthusiasm, plus she will surely have a more important role in the future to help Broly control his enormous power. Most likely we will also see a future romance between these two characters.

Of course, I could not leave this review without talking about the main star of the film: Broly. Unlike his previous incarnation in which he was designated as a villain, here in this film he can be interpreted as a victim of circumstances. A being, in essence, innocent, born with the curse of having such an excessive power that is unable to control it. A young man who, given his null contact with other people and with the different worlds, do not know many things about life. It is a character that despite its tremendous power, is fragile in the deep and it helps the viewer sympathize with him. I emphasize this part to describe Paragus as a terrible father since he only saw his son as a powerful weapon to carry out his plans, and not as his son, his own blood. It is clear that Paragus did not change much the background he had in his first and last appearance. And in spite of everything, Broly loved his father and the proof of it is when he finds out about his death, he infuriates in such a way that he becomes a Super Saiyan.

Another striking aspect that I personally liked was that they showed Bardock's relationship with Gine and his son, Goku. Despite being a Saiyan, a being who is combative and ruthless by nature, proved to love his family, even when he has not expressed it so openly. Without a doubt, the farewell of Gine with her son was a very successful and moving scene.

History: Even though it is not perfect, it is quite acceptable. I loved that they showed us more about how the planet Vegeta was, along with some small views of their society, customs, and even their politics and technology. It feels a more complete world, but which still offers the possibility of being further explored thoroughly. The main conflict is presented in a direct and simple way, showing how the situations occurred, one after the other so that in the end the duel of the three Saiyan would end and that it would be justified. Something that I applaud is that in the end, they did not kill Broly and that even Goku is willing to help his new rival so that he controls his powers, which opens up more possibilities that the potential offered by this new reinvention of Broly be explored to fullness. Like I said, the story is not perfect, but it's solid enough to keep you entertained.

Animation: In the first minutes you notice a very sublime and beautifully cared for work, despite being limited animation. In general, the animation manages a very good standard throughout the film, being that the best strokes, drawings, and animation can be seen in many of the natural environments that are shown and specifically in the close-ups of the faces of the characters. However, not everything is honey over flakes, since there are several scenes that are badly drawn and in others, the stroke and animation are simply horrible. In the case that concerns us, the dance of fusion is the one that suffers the most from this problem.

Action: Something that has distinguished the franchise, is undoubtedly the action that manages in the fighting. This movie is not the exception. It is the action that we all know and love, where we see warriors exchange blows with such a huge force that pulverizes great mountains and completely changes the geography of the place of combat. Perhaps a negative point is that there are some sequences where the action goes too fast and does not allow much appreciation of the exchange of blows. It's dynamic and fast, yes; but it would be good to return a little the action of yesteryear, where you could appreciate for seconds how the blows were connected in the opponent, plus you could feel the strength and power of such blows. Another detail that I found negative is that in the final part of the fight, the action is too overwhelming and exaggerated, even by the standards established in the series. There is even the ridicule that by the excessive power of Broly and Gogeta, both fight for seconds in a kind of alternate dimension or fragmented reality. I hope that in future installments do not abuse much of the action in this way.

In conclusion, Dragon Ball Super: Broly, without being a masterpiece, is a good movie to pass the time and remember longing for this franchise. A good addition to the twenty films that exist in this mythical series. If you are a die-hard fan of the franchise and you liked the anime of Dragon Ball Super, you will undoubtedly love this movie. If on the other hand, you are a more demanding fan, the movie may not be to your liking. For my part, I would not hesitate to add it to my catalog of animated films. I give this movie 3 out of 5 Legendary Super Saiyans. A movie that shows that Dragon Ball still has a future ahead.

Greetings

Rankakiu

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #dragon ball super #dragon ball super: broly #movie #anime #son goku #vegeta #broly #legendary super saiyan #now broly is canon #also gogeta paragus bardock and gine #toei animation #thoughts #thoghts of the droid #review #opinion #rankakiu

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iamanartichoke · 6 years ago

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Do you have any tips for self editing? I have a serious lack of confidence when it comes to this. Help??

Ah, I am by no means an expert, so you can take my tips with a grain of salt, but I think the first and most important thing is to try to battle that lack of confidence. I’m not sure if this is what you mean, but sometimes when I am editing, I kind of cringe at what I’ve written and I’m like, ugh, this is total garbage, it’s embarrassing. And that mindset makes it kind of hard not only to edit what you’ve already written, but to continue writing new content. So, you have to try to ignore that voice of self-doubt (which is hard, and I don’t really have any advice for making it easier except to literally just “fake it till you make it” [even though I hate that expression, sorry >_

If you’re looking for more technical advice, I can give you a few examples of my own process. One thing I do is to keep an eye out for little quirks that I know I overuse in my writing, such as too many semicolons, or a certain word usage or phrasing that sounds repetitive, especially reading it back again after I’ve been on a roll. I try to figure out if there’s another way I can phrase the thing without losing the meaning of what I wanted to portray in the first place. I’m not sure if this makes sense, but, like, as an example, I noticed (after posting a snippet yesterday) that I had Thor roll his eyes and then Loki roll his eyes two sentences later. So I changed it to “Loki made a face” or something similar, so that way, I can still portray that he thinks Thor is a dumbass without repeating the exact phrasing that I’d already used for Thor thinking Loki is a dumbass. (They love each other, I swear.)

Also, I abuse Thesaurus.com a lot. If I’m reading over my stuff and realize that I used the word “agony” six times in one page, for example, I go to try to find another couple of words that will convey the same meaning. Then I try to see if I can use the new words in different forms (as an adjective instead of a noun, for example) or rearrange the sentence structure to accommodate the new words so that there’s enough variation to (hopefully) make the new words sounds natural rather than sounding like I abused Thesaurus.com. (I’m not sure how successful I am with this, if we’re going for complete transparency. I think most times I do okay, but sometimes after I’ve published the thing, I’ll go back and that one place where I plugged in something from Thesaurus.com just smacks me in the face and I’m like, well, that didn’t work out so well. So it might be a bit trial and error.)

Generally, I would also say it’s important to take your time. I am very well acquainted with that feeling of wanting to post something as soon as you’ve written it, for that sweet, sweet validation (which is totally fine) but, if you can, let the story/chapter/section sit for a day or two and come back to it with a pair of fresh eyes. It makes the editing process easier, because you’re not so bogged down after having just written the thing. I also suggest that you highlight or asterisk certain sentences where you’re aware you either want to edit or come back and take a closer look at it, if you don’t have the energy to edit it right this moment but you don’t want to ignore it, either. I do this when I’m skimming and kind of line editing, but I’ll highlight a section where I think I could use a bit more research, or I know I want a character to express something better, or maybe I want to add onto it, but just not right at that moment.

I know you asked about self editing, but it seems like the majority of fic writers use betas, for those little things we don’t always notice ourselves, even in revisions. The only reason I personally don’t use a beta is because I’m kind of weirdly a control freak about my writing and I have my own process and whatnot that doesn’t really fit with having a beta right now (but that could change in the future, who knows). (Edit: By this, I mean to say that if you feel it fits in your process, you can get a beta to help out where you might not feel as confident self-editing.)

Finally, remember that nothing you do has to be perfect, and that’s okay. You might miss things. You might think something sounds good after a revision, only to read it after it’s been published and think, yeah, I could have done that better. You might end up with plot holes (or even just little plot stumbles/tangles). That’s all completely fine. When I go back and reread parts of Sanctuary now, I feel like there is a ton that I should have better revised or that I might write completely differently now - but, a lot of people have told me that they really liked/enjoyed that story, and my worry over what I could have done better/different doesn’t take away from how much the readers liked it. I guarantee you that your readers aren’t noticing or judging - we are our own worst critics, after all. And I think this ties back to my first point, too - these are the things you can kind of remind yourself of when you’re feeling doubtful or unconfident in your abilities as a writer or even as an editor.

I … hope that somewhere in that babble you found something even a little helpful, lmao. Thank you for the ask and best of luck!!

#asks #charlotte replies #writing #writing tips #editing tips #revisions #editing #aliciarosefantasy

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mirhacreations · 6 years ago

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A Drop Of Petrichor~Review Blog

Since the day, I’ve finished reading #ADOP, i was thinking of writing a long review post for this masterpiece. First i thought of making a thread on twitter (which i’ll surely do later now :-p ), then i thought of making a hand written review but again dropped the idea because i my hand writing sucks :-(. So finally after dropping like 122344456 ideas, here i am with a review blog for a book which is so special & so close to my heart, the master piece by Aimmy, “A Drop Of Petrichor”.

A Drop Of Petrichor: This is a little introduction for those who don’t know what “ A Drop Of Petrichor” is. So, its a #wattpad, written by the amazingly talent Aiman aka Aims. A books which is so simple yet so beautiful & heart-warming. Read it for once & you can’t help but fall for the simplicity of this book. No exaggerating plots, no dramatic twists, no cheesy and filmy dialogues, no extraordinary romance, that’s what ADOP is. THE ONE & ONLY. <3 I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH. <3

ME TO ADOP:

COVER:

So first of all, let me appreciate this so feelsy & aesthetically beautiful cover, made by the writer herself. The soft & soothing blue coloring & the selection of such aesthetic pictures is what i call PERFECTION, and of course this is something only our very own writer can do.Aims is multi-talented ya’ll. <3 Claps Claps for Aims <3

Characters:

Rayyan Ahmed Khan(RAK): RAK,Someone who was happy living in his dark world, all alone.Allergic to words called “feelings”, “emotions”, “relationship” & above all “love”. But then he met her, and she make him do things, feel things which he never ever even imagined. The fact that he changed for her, just because he fell in love with her, fell her, fell deeply and then his transformation from the cynic RAK to the selfless Rayyan Ahmed Khan is something i live for. <3 Rayyan Ahmed Khan has my entire heart & words are literally not enough to describe how much i love him. <3 no matter how many books i’d read or i would read in future, you’ll be my forever favorite Rayyan. I Love You <3

“Rain was the cause of everything bad. It had always been”~Rayyan Ahmed Khan.

Noor Fatimah:

Noor, my baby, my jaan😭🤧❤️. Noor Fatimah is probably one of the most strongest & brave character i’ve ever read on #wattpad. Despite of the cruel game, her fate played with her, she remained strong & firm. Not that she didn’t break down, but she picked up her broken pieces and mend herself without the involvement of any so called HERO, which happen in every other story. she was her own hero and that was her biggest strength. My noor is precious & of course i love her as much as i love Rayyan. <3

“Rain was the cure. It has always been.”~Noor Fatimah

Haseeb & Abeer: Apart from RayNoor, Haseeb & Abeer are two characters, whom i literally ship so hard. The bonding they share was just so pure and heartwarming. Their cute talks and sweet gestures has my heart. <3 The scene where haseeb was talking about love with Rayyan and imagine that all he could associate with the word love was Abeer’s face. Abeer’s confession, his rejection and then his decision of giving them space to think abou their relationship is what which makes me fall more and more for them specially Haseeb. I’ll forever be thankful to you for writing these two cute and precious characters Aims. My Adorable Munchkins <3

“I LOVE YOU. ALWAYS HAVE. ALWAYS WILL.”

Mr. & Mrs. Khan: To be very honest, no matter how good these two character were, i’d never be able to forget what they did with my baby Ray :-( He deserved 10000000000% of their efforts but they didn’t even make 1% of effort for him. He wanted to leave them, live alone and they just let him do that. His whole childhood was ruined just because they were silent, they didn’t do anything to make him understand that he was not alone, that he has a family and their ignorance is what make him the cynic RAK. So no soft corner for them and i am not sorry for this at all. That’s it. Izma & Maheen: Two miserable yet strong & such impactful characters. I love the way you portrayed izma’s character. you didn’t make her all weak and miserable but you didn’t show her like all strong & emotionless after whatever happened to her. Andddd what to say about maheen? she is cute, sweet,adorable and my jaan. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HER. <3

Rohail & Zirwa: Two cute, sweet and such entertaining characters. Zirwa’s equation with Noor & Rohail’s equation with his siblings was just so soothing and adorable. Individually, they were so understanding, and entertaining & together they were so LIT. All my love to these babies. <3

Umar: A true men, a sweetheart. His love and respect for izma and maheen has my heart. I love the way he proposed izma and then waited for her patiently instead of forcing her to accept because she needed someone in her life.They deserve nothing but all the happiness and love and with each other they’ll surely get it. <3

Sarmad & Asim & Regina:

inke liye meri taraf sy bohat saari gaaliyan khud he farz kar lein.

And a very special mention to that girl who was just a distraction for RAK. Damn! I LOVE HER. <3

REVIEW:

One Word Review: MASTERPIECE.

Now lets come to the details: 😜 To be very honest, words are truly not enough to describe how much i love this book, my RayNoor & Aims’s writing skills. Starting from the little introduction, one thing or should i say one line that caught my attention and make me read this books in one was this line, “sometimes all the parched valley of heart needs is a drop of petrichor”. What an impactful line.

Aimsss.. how are you even this good with words? I CAN’T EVEN....

woiiii! ok! back to the review now. so when i started reading ADOP i thought it would be a typical story post noor’s marriage to that jerk. what my imaginary plot was that she would bumped in to him, he’d rescue her and eventually they both will fall in love but noor will keep pushing him away despite of loving him just because of her past. And then after like alot of drama, and some filmy tragic scenes they would end up together. shocked? stunned? well this was the shit i’d thought coz i am not Aims not even close. 😝😂 But no doubt that ADOP was totally different from my imaginary plot. RayNoor’s first meeting, then Noor’s stay at Ray’s home, Ray-Regina fiasco. All this was just a treat to read, so entertaining, so spicy. 😋

And then there ways parted, obviously on not so happy note and after that started the Rayyan’s realization phase, which is truly the most beautiful phase of this story. The way you’ve penned down his emotions, his feelings, his heart break and specially that realization scene at his mom’s place, PERFECTION. That’s what i call it girl. You are just amazing. its just so hard to find words that could describe how talented you are Aims. your way with words is just something else. I AM SPEECHLESS. (still i am writing this lengthy blog 😝😝😌😌😂😂) One more thing i want to add here is that Rayyan’s realization phase in ADOP reminds me of salaar and i couldn’t help think about that ghazal salaar used to listen. it just fitted so perfectly for RayNoor obviously in this phase only :-p

He realized, he tried his best to find her but couldn’t and whenever he cried for her, i cried along :-( And then when he’d almost lost all hopes of seeing her ever again, he bumped into her and how beautiful that scene was. <3

AND I DIED HERE!

From here, their journey start towards each other and how beautiful that journey was. The slow and steady progress of their relationship, the way noor slowly started trusting him, and finding her solace and safe cocoon in him was just so heart-warming and beautiful and their first hug damn. again i am at short of words. <3

Ok! now i won’t get into the details because it seems like i am leaking out the whole story here :-( Sorry :-( but i loved each and every single scene, from Rayyan’s proposal, to Noor’s acceptance, then their wedding and their relationship progress post wedding. I HEART EACH AND EVERY SINGLE SCENE. <3 They are just too precious for words. & I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THEM SOOOOOO DAMN MUCH. <3

Their bonding post marriage was just simply goals, each and every moments just make me fell more and more for them. Be it their cute banters, sarcastic talks, their little romantic moments, those nose kisses and their support for each other, everything was GOALS. JUST PERFECT <3

And not to forgot those little, sweet and precious moments of confessions:

woiiiiiii! i am so done with all the tareefs so here come some of my favorite dialogues from the book.

And the list goes on but i am ending this review here. Honestly, i still have so much to say, like i want to comment on every single line but i surely can’t do this being the lazy af. so bear with this chotu si koshish plz. FOR THE WRITER: Aims! I’ve said this many times, and i’ll say this again and again tht you are multi-talented. A single adjective is just not enough to describe or praise your talent. Stay same, stay happy and keep blessing us with your masterpieces. Sending lots of love & prayers for you <3

#adropofpetrichor adop wattpad aimmyb

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arco-pluris · 7 years ago

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Is there a specific gender for not knowing what your gender is at the time? I'm polygender but much of the time it feels "undefined" I guess..or too vague to ever tell maybe? Not sure gendervague doesn't equite fit as I don't have an idea of what the gender is at all. So it's more than vague I guess

Well I listed a lot. It took a too long post (69 genders).

Admasgender: A gender that refuses to be categorized and that is rooted in an indomitable, indefinable essence.

Anvisgender, Apagender, or Inersgender: Used to describe those who are too lazy/apathetic to care about their gender.

Anongender: A gender that is unknown to both yourself and others.

Apsconsugender: A gender identity that is a process of elimination. What it is–is unknown, but the person is able to define what it isn’t. A gender where you know what it isn’t, but not what it is. like the gender is hiding itself from you.

Angegender: A gender where you can’t describe it with any word but hatred or anger.

Antegender: A protean gender which has the potential to be anything, but is formless and motionless, and, therefore, does not manifest as any particular gender.

Abditusgender or Sectiogender: When you have a general idea of what your gender is but feel that it’s still hiding important factors from you, or that it’s slowly revealing itself to you but continues to keep some of itself hidden and you don’t know how to bring it about.

Arigender/Ariesgender: A complicated gender identity that you cannot explain or is very hard to explain. A gender that does not fit under any labels. An unfathomable gender. Based on the zodiac sign Aries.

Autogender: A gender experience that feels deeply personal to oneself but it too difficult to accurately describe with any other gender terms.

Cheshiric: A term used when your gender is confusing and can easily go invisible and appear out of nowhere. One can also say their gender is like a sort of vague riddle.

Cassgender: A gender identity where one feels that their gender is unimportant or is indifferent to the idea of gender.

Cryptogender or Gendercryptic: A gender one cannot discern, describe or define in human words because one is puzzled by it. It feels like it is and it isn’t there without following any particular pattern, sometimes even at the same time.

Concedogender: ‘When you cannot be defined as questioning because you no longer question, but you never reached a particular identity. You conceded and said “I’m okay with not finding out”.’

Circgender: A gender that feels so magical and grand you can’t describe it. Named after Circe, goddess of magic.

Collgender: A polygender identity where one experiences too many genders to be able to describe them all.

Cengender/Resgender: A gender that can be summed up as an unidentifiable, nondescript thing but manifests in hundreds of different genders that could be recognized and function as “girl” and /or ”boy” but is entirely dependent on the context.

Cosmicgender: A gender so vast and complex that you are only able to process a small bit of it at a time. Like viewing the night sky through a telescope, you cannot hope to see all of it at once, however, you may gain more knowledge about parts of it the longer you focus on one part. May contain any number of sub genders within it that may present themselves to you. It is infinite in its possibility. Name from the vast reaches of space filled with things we cannot begin to imagine.

Diagender: A single gender identity that exists, but not entirely on the gender spectrum and is difficult to locate or describe. (You should also know there is another, completely different gender identity that is also called diagender).

Echogender: When you have trouble understanding/experiencing gender so you attempt to understand your gender by mimicking the genders of those you are closest to/most often around.

Ectogender: A gender identity that is elusive, constantly out of one’s grasp, and/or hard to pin down.

Errgender: ‘A stray gender, one you can’t quite get a hold of (err- stray).‘

Foggender: A gender which is close to a certain gender, but cannot be directly pinpointed due to brainfog (a lack of concentration or wakefulness associated with ADHD, fibromyalgia, depression, etc.)

Gyragender/Gyaragender/Gendervex: When you have multiple genders but don’t understand any of them. Can be combined with relevant genders if you’re able to figure out some part of it. (Ex: if you’re gyragirl, you don’t understand your genders, but you know they have feminine qualities).

Genderstrange: ‘When you can’t pinpoint one word for your gender, but multiple terms almost fit.‘

Gendervoid or Voidgender: A gender identity defined by absence, a blank space or void where a gender might otherwise be. Sometimes synonymous with agender.

Genderweird: ‘A term used to describe those whose gender cannot be described by any existing label, or cannot be pinned down as such.’

Genderblank: ‘A sensation that one’s gender is indescribable, that there are no words to explain it.’

Gossagender: ‘A gender identity that is so weak it feels fragile or barely there.‘

Graygender: ‘Describes a person who is ambivalent about their gender identity/expression, but who identifies at least partially with a gender (defined or not) outside of the binary. They may experience a weak sense of gender, or have difficulty defining their gender, or just not be overly involved in gender as a concept.’

Gendereaux: ‘A feeling of being detached from the concept of gender, but simultaneously identifying with or encompassing many nonbinary experiences or identities.’

Genderhollow/genderempty: “a gender that is present, but is empty or hollow”.

Gender-free: Which does not define people in the basis of gender; in which gender is not present, or is insignificant or irrelevant to people’s lives and choices.

Gender+/Genderplus: A gender which fits many gender descriptors, but is actually just one complex and big gender. Since so many gender descriptors describe the gender, you pick the one you think represents it the best (or just an arbitrary one of your choice) and add “+” to show that it is described as that gender plus others.

Scorpigender: ‘A gender that is a mystery, and very difficult to understand. Lots of labels vaguely fit it, but almost none can fully describe it.’

Pendogender: Never being satisfied with your gender no matter how well it fits due to self-doubt, causing one to compulsively search and seek out something that fits even better. Gender perfectionism. For neurodivergent folks only, coined with people with anxiety disorders, OCD, and OCPD in mind.

Jellogender: ‘Where you only faintly feel a gender; it’s definitely present but you kind of have this vague, dissociated feeling with it, kind of like if you were to encase the gender in jello!! (`cause like it’s visible, but its kinda covered in stuff). Not to be confused with Jellygender.’

Levigender: ‘A lightweight, superficial gender you don’t feel very much; one you put on in a hurry.’

Vocigender: ‘A gender identity that feels weak or uncertain. Can be combined with relevant genders.’ (You can use vocinonbinary)

Skelogender: A gender that’s a big part of you and comes from deep inside, but is obscure and unknowable. A gender that’s unique to you- it’s you and while it’s probably not clear to others, it keeps you together.

Staticgender: A gender which can best be described as TV static; fuzzy and incomprehensible.

Pregender: A feeling that one’s gender is growing into, but not quite yet at, a particular gender.

Mathgender: A precise but complex gender that, the more you explore its intricacies, the more bizarre it becomes.

Seagender: A gender that is as deep and unknown as the ocean itself. It’s a gender that is mostly incomprehensible but slightly familiar in human terms.

Spectragender: A gender that is such a huge, complex, or confusing spectrum that you can’t begin to define it.

Supertaskgender: You are constantly finding smaller and smaller details about your gender, which is finite, but there are an infinite number of these details to discover.

Vapogender: A gender that sort of feels like smoke. One can see it and understand it on a shallow level but if one tried to go deeper it disappears, and one is left with no gender and only tiny wisps of the gender one thought it was.

Worldgender: Having multiple genders with such complex relationships and subgenders that it feels like the genders make up an entire world or planet together, each gender affecting the biomes and other features of this world/planet.

Mazeplexgender: A gender identity best described as a dense forest or maze which is easy to get lost in, and is hard to navigate through or pinpoint a specific location or gender. It may be unknown to the person if it’s even possible to navigate through this forest or maze to find any answers. Derived from the two words Maze, and Perplex.

Nongender: A gender that is most accurately described by what it isn’t, not by what it is.

Nullgender or Gendernull: Being without gender, but it is not agender or neutrois, a term for those to give a “tangibility” to the intangible thing that is their gender. - Undefinable, intangible, the uncreation of gender. Its taking everything everyone throws at you, saying male, female, pick one, pick this, pick that, and taking it in, only to expel it, poisonous crystals erupting from your skin, armor against those who don’t listen. A ‘I don’t want a label because labels don’t fit but they help shut people up sometimes, so here have a label’ gender label. A fall-back plan, a red herring to give people who can’t conceptualize the absence, void, nullification of gender. It is, and is not. All and none. Nonexistent but present.

Nymhs: A gender which exists but is ambiguous or undefined. To reduce ‘othering’ and increase accessibility to children in particular, this gender can be referred to using both the adjective form ‘nymhs’ (e.g. ‘I identify as nymhs’ or ‘a nymhs individual’) and the noun form of ‘nymh’ (e.g. ‘I’m a nymh’) in the same way one may say either ‘I identify as female’ or ‘I am a girl’.

Jupitergender: A gender that is so large and present, one is not quite sure what it is because it’s too big to see clearly, but it is definitely there and one knows that they’re definitely not cis.

Meergender: A gender that is deep and difficult to explore, reminiscent of a large body of water, while also being multi-faceted and can fit under multiple gender descriptors. Similar to ambimegender, cosmicgender, seagender and genderplus. From the Dutch words meerdere, meaning multiple, and meer, meaning lake.

Perigender: A gender identity that is not currently known, but is becoming clearer over time. A transitional identity; When you feel your gender is comparable to a certain gender, but is a non binary identity and not even partially that binary gender. You identify with not as a gender.

Offgender: A gender that closely represents/is most closely represented by another gender, but is not that gender. Can be likened to what the color off-white is to white for descriptive purposes.

Telegender: “A gender that one feels a disconnect from, almost to the point of not feeling it.“

Paragender: “A gender identity that is close to, but not exactly, a gender. For instance, someone who is a paraboy may feel that their gender is near to, but not quite male.”

Vaguegender or Gendervague: “A gender being mostly or around a certain gender (or mostly around a certain gender), but is only approximate on account of difficulty defining it due to one’s neurodivergence.“

Ventulian: A gender element which is not clearly defined. It may change in a way that is hard to keep up with, impossible to describe or understand, or simply be vague and fleeting in nature, but it is present.

Maringender: A term used to describe when part of one’s gender is identifiable but the other parts(s) is/are unidentifiable.

Pomogender: A gender where one denies or does not fit any labels for any particular gender. For example, someone who knows they’re not cis, but is not interested, or can’t specify what their gender(s) are.

Novigender: When your gender experience (or lack thereof) is complicated in such a way that it is difficult or impossible to fit into one word or term.

Nesciogender: A gender one is not completely sure of due to one’s neurotype disallowing a clear understanding of the concept, but has a vague sense of what it could be; i.e. nescioboy, nescioagender, etc.

Vosgender: A gender that feels wild and free one second, then confined and hidden the next.

Spikegender or Burstgender: A mostly undefined gender with intense momentary spikes of a specific gender, such as boy, girl, genderqueer, etc, that last a relatively short time and fade away.

Nebulagender: a multigender/xenogender identity, nebulagender individuals have many interconnected xenogenders that collectively form a multifaceted, expansive, and beautiful gender experience. May have fully defined genders, like stars that are formed within a nebula, as well as diffuse, vague, and partly/completely unidentifiable gender feelings that exist in between, like cosmic dust.

Vexgender: ‘When one’s gender is in the non-binary/agender spectrum, but pinpointing it beyond that is impossible because the individual does not understand the concept of gender. Not to be confused with Gendervex.’

Quoigender: someone who finds the concept of gender identity, or of existing gender words, to themself to be inaccessible, inapplicable & non-sensical; can mean someone for whom the experience of gender is confusing, someone who cannot tell if they experience gender or if what they experience is indeed gender; can be used instead of “questioning,” which indicates an ongoing search for a better term; quoigender instead indicates a troubled history with gender words/identities, and perhaps a frustration with searching, or finding such a search unhelpful; instead using quoigender as a more permanent, stable, unchanging, fixed point.

Xumgender: Never being satisfied with your gender due to constant self-doubt or identity issues, causing one to compulsively search and seek out something that fits as perfect as possible–to find “the gender” or “the one truth”–though one will never be found due to one’s neurotype, because words will never be able to describe it, and/or its own properties paradox itself. This frequent anxiety and doubt even causes this gender to feel imperfect to the individual.

@genderlist @uncommongenders @xenoqueer @ask-pride-color-schemes @nonbinarypastels @transgenderteensurvivalguide @neutrois @neuroqueer-gray @askagenderfluidandgenderflux @agenderhelp @xenoqueer @xeno-aligned @genderoftheday @genderqueerpositivity @genderfluidsupport @genderqueerplus @quoigender-positivity @quoigender @neurodivergent-crow

#apagenders #undefined genders #anonymous #gender list #nonbinary #gendervoid #gendernull #nullgender #agender #gendervague #neurogender #vaguegender #vague #genderfree #genderblind #genderneutral #long post

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