#when i’m actually inconsolable lol

[pixiesnooze]

if the ear piercing is happening now y’all know what’s happening after this.

[beababoobies]

ME AGAIN!!! WITH A SAL X READER REQUEST (again) THIS TIME AIDJSJDH. a porn one at that !!!!

i need sal so bad its an actual problem

just like. imagine reader n the gang r havin a little sleepover. and reader is just so inconsolably turned on for some reason (maybe sal had his hand on their thigh when they watched a movie or smthin), so when everyone is asleep they asks sal to help them out :,,,) (his fingers r just so long n pretty,, they cant help but want them lol)

mayb he has to keep them quiet somehow, mayb covers their mouth/puts his fingers in their mouth to muffle them

hes so shy and nervous and awkward but he’s having the time of his life, watching the reader’s reactions. mayb he cant help but get himself off too, too enraptured by the way reader struggles to gasp and whine against his fingers

GOD DAMN.

would love if u wrote this mootie 🫶🏼🫶🏼 no pressure ofc ofc ofc !! (fem bodied reader pls if u dont mind <3!)

(i might write this too, i love my mind sometimes 🙏)

hey mootie!! Im giving you the fast pass because all the jjk stuff you repost got me into the series and I’m loving it, also cus you’re AMAZING! All characters are aged 20+ because this is based in chapter five of course, please do enjoy! :) (and for everyone waiting for their Hazbin requests to be filled - IT IS COMING! I am a busy woman.) 

Needy - Sal Fisher X Fem!Reader

words : 2k, warnings : SPICAYYYY!!, creampie, fingering, slightly public, needy!sal AND needy!reader, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it guys, c’mon), hold the moan trope

The entire gang had been having more sleepovers ever since Sal and Todd had found the new house. Larry was moving in so it was just the normal next step, and you loved coming over so much. More specifically to spend time with your boyfriend, but also just to feel like old times again. Even Ash came from the city every once and a while, and this was one of those days.

Since it was Larry’s last day living in the Apartments, you had all agreed to made the most out of that small basement apartment you had spent so much of your awkward teen years in. You had been doing all the same shit you used to all day - smoking in the treehouse, playing card games for hours. 

You and Sal huddled up around his old gamebuddy, playing the games Larry had kept long forgotten in the corners of his room, Larry and Ash painting on a shared canvas, chatting about life while Larry’s old metal mixtapes blasted in the background, and Todd and Neil cuddled up on the beanbag in the corner, occasionally joining in their conversation, but mostly just cuddled up and enjoying each others company. All of this was wonderful, nostalgic - even healing. 

That was all up until Sal quietly suggested you all watched an old horror movie, and you were all huddled together in the dark, you with Sal leaning on your shoulder on your right, and Ash on your left, giggling and nudging you like old times. Larry laid out casually on the floor in front of you all because of how shit his eyes were from years of refusing glasses. Which should’ve been fine.

In fact - it was fine. Until Sal decided it would be a wonderful idea to put his hand on your thigh. Your bare thigh, just below where your miniskirt started. And even that - even that, you could’ve survived with some unwanted heat in your panties. But no, the blue fucker jumped at one of the scenes, hand sliding up the inside of your thigh to accidentally drag your skirt up, his hand knocking against your warm core - hand rubbing up against your clothed clit as he pulled his hand away, and all you could do was pull your hand away from where it was sweetly brushing through Ashley’s hair like you used to do, straight to your face to hide the unbelievably needy whine you would’ve let out.

“you okay?” Ashley whispers softly, looking over to you and you just nod quickly, watching her go back to watching the movie before shooting Sal a venomous glance, which he avoids nervously, already feeling your stare of death shoot through the side of his head. You pierced your lips together, putting one leg over the other and squeezing your thighs firmly shut, Sal’s hand now comfortably resting much, much lower on your thigh. Practically on your calve, as he preferred not to die tonight. 

But that’s when it started, the unwanted slick already gently collecting in your panties, your mind running through all the things you wanted to do to him - what you wanted him to do to you. God, your mind was like a dog in heat. You couldn’t even bear to focus on the movie, sitting there, cautiously eyeing up your dead silent boyfriend. His shirt ridden up his stomach just oh-so-slightly from the way he was slouched back, soft happy trail of blue peeking out from under his shirt. God, what you would do to pull those stupid red torn up jeans down - not even fully - and ride him until he was shooting blanks and sobbing under you. 

That is how it went on for the rest of the movie. That is exactly how it went on when you all decided the sleeping plan. That is where your mind still was when you and Sal decided to take the pullout couch, Todd and Neil in Lisa’s old room, and Larry sleeping on his bed with Ashley on a cot on his floor. With the thinnest fucking walls known to man kind. You should know - you grew up with the same ones. 

Sal yawned as he laid next to you, mask placed softly on the table right beside the couch, as well as his glass eye floating in a cup, looking at you nervously as he pulled the covers up over himself too, gently wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into him from behind, expecting you to be asleep by now - you were a heavy sleeper, he was an insomniac. It worked out like that. Until he heard a soft, half-whine of a whisper come from you. 

“S-sal..” you mumbled softly, pressing yourself back against him, causing him to let out a soft whine of his own, hand around your waist flinching ever so softly. “P-please baby, need you so bad..” you mumbled out softly, turning around to face him, seeing the needy tears in your eyes had him melting as well, piercing his lips together as he grips softly at your side.

“N-no, you know how thin these walls are - I’m sorry about earlier, but..” he says nervously as he watches you whine and writhe softly, pressing yourself up against him, one hand on his chest. That’s when you decide to make the move, grabbing his hand and moving to in-between your legs so he can feel how absolutely soaked through your panties are, causing him to experimentally run his fingers over them, biting down on his scarred lip so hard he’s concerned it might bleed. You can’t help a choked whine and a buck of your hips against his hand at that, looking up at him with those needy eyes. Fuck. 

He doesn’t say a word as he puts two shaky fingers to your lips, and you wrap your mouth around them without question, twirling your tongue around them and sucking on them like your life depended on it, all while he shakily pulled you panties to the side, prodding his fingers at your soaked hole, a quiet ‘fuck.’ Escaping his mouth when he slides one in with ease, feeling the vibrations around his fingers as you whine. “G-gotta be quiet, please - we h have to be quiet..” he mumbles out messily as he feels his cock throb to life in his sleep shorts, smearing precum across his thigh when he feels your cunt clench needily around his fingers.

He lets out a sigh of relief when you quickly nod at him, squeezing your eyes shut as he slowly starts to curl his long fingers inside of you, the obscene squealing noise making him whimper softly, hips accidentally bucking softly against your thigh as his cock tries to find some sort of friction - daydreaming about how easily he could slip inside you right now with how wet you are - how you would feel around his cock, velvety walks clenching around him and providing him that oh so delicious friction he was searching for. 

His thumb moves to gently circle your clit as you start to find a slow grinding rhythm against his hand, practically riding his fingers as he finds that delicious spongy spot on your walls and pushes his fingers up against it, causing your cunt to give another urgent and needy clench, more slick falling into his palm, making a mess as he tries his best not to whine himself.

The slippery sounds of friction, the feeling of your thigh twitching pressed up right against his own throbbing problem, or the way his fingertips are pressing up against the entrance to your throat, the way his other fingertips are pressed up against your velvety walls. It’s driving him beyond insane, to the point he’s thinking he might cum in his sleep shorts if it continues this way. And he didn’t bring an extra pair - and it would just be a waste if he didn’t cum inside of you - not while you were practically begging for it.  

“B-baby.” He whines out, catching your attention for a second, tears of pleasure falling softly down your face as your hips still, whining against his hand from the way you stopped while being so close - it was beyond downright embarrassing how quickly you were about to cum, and you were honestly glad he stopped you. “C-can i please put it in? J-just the tip, please baby, ‘s so sensitive. Need you so bad.” He whines quietly and softly, pressing his hard on against your thigh to back up his own statement, whining softly again. “Just wann’ cum inside you, please…” he whispers, watching you nod eagerly.

Pulling his fingers out of you with an obscenely wet pop, pulling your soaked panties to the side and he lets out an erotic sigh pressing his face into the crook of your neck as he pulled his shorts down, cock slapping to attention against his abdomen, precum beading from the sensitive tip as he shakily pulled your hips up, grabbing the base of his cock and gently rubbing it against your entrance, and you could hear how wet you were when he moved his tip to part your drenched lips and drag through them, whining into the crook of your neck as you grabbed his shoulders, brain fuzzy with the way his hot tip felt rubbing against your clit, sticky with your own slick. 

He bit down hard on your shoulder as his tip popped past the tight ring of muscles of your entrance, desperately rutting against you, trying not to whine or let slip how good it felt to be inside you - the way your hot, heady slick insides felt like they were trying to pull him in deeper. His hand cupped your mouth quickly, stopping you from making a sound as he gently pushed himself further inside you, feeling you grip tightly at his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh as he broke his promise, pushing his cock inside of you, inch by desperate inch, trying not to slam his entire cock into you at once - which was unbelievably hard, considering how wet you were, and how desperate he was - his tip prodded at your cervix, making you jerk forward, groaning against the palm of his hand.

He rutted into you desperately, not daring to thrust properly, letting everyone else hear how wet and desperate you were, or even worse, how even needier he was for you, the head of his cock bumping against your sweet spot, the only sound in the air being the quiet sounds of your muffled whines, and the quiet rustling of sheets as he ground into you, abdomen rubbing against your clit as he did so, bringing you to the edge so much faster than you ever expected, cunt clenching around him, the sign that you were about to cum. He just nodded into the nape of your neck, hips refusing to stop. 

“m-me too, fuck, me too, me too ‘m gonna cum, ‘s too tight, ‘s so warm.” He half whines, half whispers right into your neck as he detaches his teeth from your shoulder for a second, before hurriedly latching them back onto your neck as you feel his cock violently twitch inside you, whining desperately into his hand as you felt yourself start to cum, cunt clenching around him desperately, slick flooding from you and creating an obscene squelching between you two as you spasmed and arched under him. 

He groaned into your neck as he quickly pulled his face from your neck, smashing his lips desperately against yours, muffling his own groans as he pushes himself as deep into you as he can go, cumming hot ropes into you as he stills, thighs twitching as he pulls his mouth from you, both of you panting and catching your breaths, feeling the warm liquid pool out of you and spill onto Sal’s abdomen as he lets out a small and raspy chuckle, still catching his breath.

 “You’re going to be the fucking death of me.” 

[thewriterthatghostedyou]

New Series Release Starting on Oct. 31st

Here is something that I have been working on for a bit and I am far enough ahead in writing it so I decided to start posting! I also plan on releasing a chapter a week on Fridays after this week so that I actually keep up on updating it. We’ll see if my adhd brain will be able to stick to the plan lol.

This is an AU where the Greens win and all of the Blacks are dead except for Aegon III and Viserys II. (Baela, Rheana, and Corlys are also alive after Corlys switches sides as he did in the books).

Also, this is heavily inspired by the Selection series since I just reread it lol but obviously in Westeros and a lot darker and more adult. There are no warnings for this prologue besides canon typical violence.

Divider by @zaldritzosrose

Westeros’ history was a bloody one. Starting when the Six Kingdoms became one under the rule of Aegon the Conqueror, blood had seeped through the very pages of its existence. More blood was spilled with the coming of Meagor the Cruel, a cunning and ambitious man that was only stopped by his mysterious death on the throne itself. And finally now, the Dance of the Dragons. A war that pitted family against family and ripped the realm apart in the process.

Blood and violence always seemed to follow the Targaryens and yet you found yourself drawn to them all the same. You were on Dragonstone when the news of King Viserys’ death reached the realm.

Your hands trembled as your future mother by law gripped her stomach in pain before being rushed out of the war room by the maesters. “Lady Caswell.” Princess Rhaenys’ voice brought you back to her as she placed a sympathetic hand on your shoulder. “There is news that I must tell you as well.”

“What’s wrong? What else has happened?” Jacaerys gripped your hand tightly as Baela rushed over.

“After my cousin’s death the Green Council found your father trying to escape the Red Keep.” Your blood had run cold as she continued. “He was trying to warn the Queen of what was happening, of the treason that was occurring.” You prayed to any god, old or new that this was all a dream. “When I was able to finally leave my own chambers he was hung from the outer walls of the Keep along with any others who refused to bend the knee to Aegon. I’m very sorry-”

The princess’ words seemed to rise to a searing pitch as she continued and you felt Baela reach out to steady you as you wobbled forward. Your father couldn’t be dead. He had finalized your betrothal to Jace and Baela yesterday. He had just embraced you warmly yesterday. He had promised to visit you on Dragonstone some time yesterday. He was alive yesterday.

You had watched from the sidelines as the war began. Lost in grief as death after death seemed to occur in quick succession. Your father, Luke, Princess Rhaenys, and Jace. Your sweet Jace. You were inconsolable when the news reached you of Jace’s death, unable to accept that the man that you loved, the kind man who held you when you cried and made you smile in the face of tragedy, had been killed. You found yourself clinging to Baela after his death, aching for your shared love and finding comfort in your shared losses.

When King’s Landing Fell, you followed Rhaenyra to the capital, hoping to be reunited with your mother or even one of your brothers, Tom Flowers, your bastard sibling who had been leading your family’s forces as your youngest brother, Edric, was only five and now Lord of Bitterbridge. There were no tearful reunions as you had hoped as Tom was leading an armored battalion to Honeywine and your mother and two younger brothers remained at Bitterbridge.

A fortnight after the taking of King’s landing, a young squire, coated in soot and blood was brought before the Queen, his eyes in another place as he recalled the losses at Honeywine and the deaths of Owen Costayne and Tom. You didn’t remember much from that day, only Rhaenyra’s pitying expression as she sat with you after that report. Her once close relationship with you dimmed as it was tainted by grief and the Queen visited you less and less.

The next piece of your life to fall was when Baela was captured in the loss of Dragonstone. You felt numb as the death of Moondancer sank in. Although not a Targaryen yourself, your fondest memories had been of your two loves taking you on their dragons and flying around the bay. Both Vermax and Moondancer were dead now and you didn’t know if you wanted Baela to survive to experience whatever hell her cousin would inflict upon her for burning him before her defeat.

Barely a week after the capture of Baela, you and the court were surprised to see the head of the young prince Maelor sent from your own mother who had written you a letter with a frantic scribbled explanation.

My Dearest Daughter,

I fear what our people have begun. News of the queen’s bounty on the young Prince’s head has spread throughout the realm. And the young boy- gods- he was torn apart by a mob that had gathered. Never has such horrific violence been brought before me and yet I fear that this is only the beginning. The men responsible were executed for this horrific act but Lord Ormund Hightower marches towards us with Prince Daeron on his Tessaron. I sent them the young prince’s egg in an effort to make this wrong right in a way, but I fear that it is not enough. We have no dragon to meet theirs and barely enough men to keep the garrison.

I find myself glad that you are safe my sweet daughter as I fear that we may soon join your father in whatever life there is after death. The gods will curse us all for this but I pray endlessly that they spare you whatever fate we face.

Be strong my daughter and know that your brothers and I will love you to our dying breaths and beyond.

True to what your mother had written, Bitterbridge fell that very night. As reports came in from the many refugees you felt sick to your stomach, puking for what felt like hours before returning to hear the rest of their stories. Your mother had yielded to the stronger force immediately and begged Prince Daeron for mercy to be shown to her sons, your brothers. Apparently he had only scoffed before and replied that he would grant them the same terms that had been given to his nephew before beheading Edric and Kelyn. They were only five and two. At that moment any grief you had was burnt away as anger raged through your body. You were the last Caswell alive.

Hatred for Daeron coursed through your every vein as you listened to a seamstress who had escaped the slaughter tearfully recount the rape and abuse that happened. Even septas, old women, and children were not spared from the cruelty of the Hightower army. Tales of how your home’s men, women, and children were slaughtered turned your once happy heart to one of stone and contempt for the Greens. You had trashed part of your chambers after hearing the news that Daeron had escaped death from a burning tent and lived to fight another day.

Rhaenyra had grown ever paranoid about impending betrayals that may never come, keeping her surviving sons under close watch and even pushing away her husband. A fact that she later regretted deeply as she wept into your arms after hearing about his death. Daemon had risen up to meet his nephew Aemond Targaryen in what was already being heralded as the Battle Above God’s Eye. The actual battle itself was unable to be witnessed as flames had filled the sky and dragon silhouettes were all that was seen. All that was known was that Aemond emerged victorious on Vhagar and Daemon and Caraxes were lost to the lake below.

In what would be the final nail in the coffin for Queen Rhaenyra was the taking of King’s Landing. Surrounded by Hightower and other Green Hosts, along with Tessaron and Vhagar, the retaking of King’s Landing was laughable. Rhaenyra’s own men turned on her as they saw the enemy approaching and she and her remaining sons were imprisoned in Rhaenyra’s chambers until the arrival of King Aegon.

You were thankfully not important enough to be forced to watch your Queen’s death, only hearing of how she was viciously eaten by Sunfyre, with Joffery and Aegon III watched.

You were instead kept with the other Lords and Ladies, only being released from a large dining hall to be brought before Aegon and asked to bend the knee. Your father had died for refusing to do this very action, your mother and brothers had followed, and yet you refused to be another casualty in this war. Your house had suffered enough and if you were not careful the Caswell line would end with you. It could not all be for nothing. So you bent the knee with every other lord and lady in attendance, feeling as if you were selling your soul to the stranger themself.

[bunitivity]

I don't know if you've answered something similar but do you have any ZoLuSanUso headcanons for when they're sick? (Let's ignore canon for a moment, I know none of these monsters actually ever get sick, but that's no fun! We want angst, and hurt and comfort!)

No I’ve not lol but sure I can give some hcs. Out of the four of them I feel like Usopp would be the most likely to say anything if he got sick followed by Luffy and then Sanji and then Zoro who I believe wouldn’t even know if he was sick. He would just say something like I’ve been feeling weaker lately better up my training and then train harder like an idiot.

Sanji would be coming over with some refreshments and be like wait you’re breathing weird and you’re all red are you okay?/that’s what happens when you train maybe you should try it some time and then before Sanji has a chance to give a scathing respond Zoro just fkn collapses in front of everyone. Luffy would be fkn inconsolable thinking he’s dying bc anything that can fell someone like Zoro must be fatal and Usopp tries to explain that it’s just his hubris catching up to him and this is what happens when you train shirtless in the fucking cold.

Zoro would be the worst sick person bc he’d insist he’s fine and try to sneak out of the infirmary any chance he gets which is why it’s a good thing he has three boyfriends who can take shift to prevent that from happening. Though they don’t really need to take shifts bc Luffy won’t leave his side and is there under the covers with him fiercely holding him which was fine at first until it becomes too hot and it gets uncomfortable. Zoro is dying but would rather die before saying anything so it’s Sanji who has to break it to Luffy.

“You know I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing I’ve heard the easiest way to get rid of a fever is to sweat it,” Usopp points out.

Luffy’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Usopp darling my love,” Sanji pinches his nose. “I love you but please don’t encourage this. At this rate they’re both going to get sick and then we’ll have two ppl to take care of.”

“And here I thought you’d do anything for the people you love,” Zoro opens up the blanket. “Are you really going to let something like a measly cold stop you?”

Sanji sees the space Zoro opens up for him and the way Luffy looks so snuggly by his side and takes a step towards them and almost falls for it until Usopp snatches his wrist. Zoro clicks his tongue.

Usopp sighs. “God you’re so easy. I can’t believe you’d let him bait you like that.”

Sanji flushes. “What? No! I wasn’t going to fall for it! I was just going to check his temperature and nothing else!”

“Sure babe,” Usopp says. “Sanji you’re the cook you’re the last person we need getting sick please don’t let this idiot tempt you.”

“Yeah which is why Usopp should join us!” Luffy rises in the bed and grabs Usopp’s hand. “Double the people means Zoro would get better even faster!”

And then he drags him into bed.

“Wait Luffy! Ugh Zoro you’re so sweaty! Gross!”

Zoro just smiles before plastering himself all over Usopp making it that much worse. “Oi stop that! I fucking hate you!”

Zoro hums “sure” while Luffy just laughs. “Don’t worry Usopp you’ll get used to it.”

“That’s the last thing I want!”

“Wait wait wait,” Sanji interrupts their tomfoolery. “If Usopp sleeps here then who am I sleeping with tonight??”

“That’s what you’re worried about? This idiot is trying to infect me with his stupid germs and that is what you’re most worried about??”

“It just gets so lonely~”

“You’ll just have to figure that out because it’s already too late for Usopp I’m afraid,” Zoro kisses Usopp’s cheek and then looks up at him through his lashes. “But the offer still stands.”

“Well-“

“Sanji!”

“Okay fine! I’ll just sleep all by myself in our big stupid bed while the three of you get to cuddle here all warm and happy.”

He does not do that and just ends up sleeping on the infirmary floor because he’s an idiot and he occasionally reaches out to touch Usopp’s hand that’s dangling over the side of the bed because he’s crazy like that.

Of course the next ones who get sick are Luffy and Usopp. It doesn’t happen right away it doesn’t even hit them at the same time. Luffy is the one who goes down first because he’s the one who spent the most time with Zoro and unlike Usopp he was willing to kiss Zoro while he was sick because he genuinely didn’t believe he would get it but he does.

Luffy does not like getting sick. Does not like how weak it makes him feel and most of all how lonely it is when his boyfriends or friends aren’t there to keep him company. Reminds him too much of being small and being sick and alone because Ace went out to hunt and he couldn’t go with him. And now he’s thinking about Ace which is a whole bag worms and fuck being alone with his thoughts like this is just torture.

So he gets extra clingy because he can’t stand being alone. And of course his boyfriends indulge him holding his hand and talking to him to distract him to keep the bad thoughts at bay.

“I’m sorry,” he’ll tell Sanji. “I should have listened to you. If had none of this would have happened. It’s okay you can go back to work I’ll be okay.”

Sanji would normally chastise him but he hears the vulnerability in his voice and just squeezes his hand and then brings it to his lips. “Nonsense, my love. I’ll stay with you until you feel better.”

Luffy tears up a bit. “Even if you get sick?”

“Even if I get sick.”

Usopp would make a makeshift bed out of chairs and lay down so they’re at the same eye level and it feels like they are on the same bed even if they aren’t and reaches across the vast distance to hold his hand and make him laugh with his stories some fantastical some real(albeit exaggerated) about the things he has missed. Luffy will listen with rapt attention until he dozes off. Sometimes Usopp will fall asleep holding his hand and Zoro and Sanji have to come collect him.

Some nights Zoro will sneak in after the two others have fallen asleep. Just to watch over him and if Luffy is awake he’ll wrap him up in some sheets from head to toe to prevent himself from getting sick again and then cuddles him to sleep. Luffy is so happy despite how stuffy and uncomfortable it is. Just happy not to be alone.

——————

Sanji is just in the kitchen making breakfast one morning when Usopp comes up behind him and wraps his arms around him and rests his head on his shoulder. “Sanji I think I’m getting sick.”

“You too??” He checks his forehead and sure enough Usopp’s burning up. “You guys are going down like flies. But before we tell Chopper give me one final kiss.”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea.” Then he laughs at the downtrodden look on Sanji’s face and kisses him. “Guess it’s fine I don’t think it’s that serious anyway.”

It’s that serious and he ends up joining an overjoyed Luffy in the infirmary. Hurray a sick buddy!

“I really do not like how happy you are that I’m sick. Feels like a red flag.”

“What?? I’m not happy you’re sick I’m happy we’re sick together!”

“Diabolical.”

“I’ll show you diabolical!” Then he just starts kissing him all over.

Sanji is just distraught that they’re both sick now. “I haven’t gotten any Luffy kisses in so long.” Okay maybe that’s not the only thing he’s distraught about but still!

“No one’s stopping you.”

“Shut up Marimo this is all your fault! If you’d just learn to wear a shirt none of this would have happened!”

“Oh please you love it when I don’t wear a shirt.”

“When it’s hot out! …wait did you just say nothing is stopping me?” Sanji’s eyes go wide. “Don’t tell me you have been making out with Luffy this entire time!”

“What moron would do that!”

Then they get kicked out of the infirmary for being too loud.

It hits Usopp a lot harder than the other two. Because unlike his boyfriends he’s just regular person and whatever felled them straight up knocks him out. He’s delirious and barely conscious for the most of it which makes the others quite distressed. Especially Luffy who is the closest to him(proximity wise) and who ends up seeing the worst of it. He will try and talk to Usopp but only gets short responses back and sometimes they aren’t even coherent and make no sense. This just makes him even more distressed which leads to Luffy staying up all night despite also being sick and needing his rest just to watch Usopp sleep afraid that if he falls asleep Usopp will just stopped breathing. No matter how much Chopper reassures him Usopp will be fine there will be this tiny voice at the back of his head whispering what if and he just can’t risk it.

Even after Luffy gets better he’ll lie and say he is still sick just so he isn’t forced to leave. He’ll wrap around him several times cocooning him in his arms in the dead of night whispering in Usopp’s ear to please not leave him he couldn’t bear to lose anyone else. And then sigh a breath of relief when he feels Usopp squeeze him back.

Sanji is just as bad as him staying up late at the infirmary not leaving until Zoro has to physically lift him and carry him out. He redoubles his efforts whipping up dish after dish that he hopes will help. Zoro often have to force to take a break. Zoro is worried too but unlike Luffy and Sanji he knows restraint(when it concerns others that are not him lol) so he ends up looking Sanji so he doesn’t overwork himself and ends up bedridden too. Two sick people are already bad enough.

Once he gets him in bed Sanji would still stay up worrying and confiding in Zoro that he’s afraid that they may not get better alluding but not outright telling him about his mother’s illness. She had been looked a lot better than Usopp and she still died and so what if the same happened to either Luffy or Usopp?? Then were would he be? Just all alone with stupid Marimo he would say all while burying his face in Zoro’s chest trembling. “Don’t be stupid they’re a lot stronger than some stupid cold they’ll both be fine In no time especially after you made that dish? What was it called again?”

He will try to distract by making him talk about those legendary dishes he learned from Iva until he falls asleep.

Zoro who’s usually so unflappable ends up infected by all Luffy’s and Sanji’s anxious energy and just ends up feeling useless since there’s nothing he can do but watch over Luffy and Usopp while they sleep and helping Luffy get out of his spirals once the waiting gets to be too much.

But because Sanji can’t be stopped(Zoro is too m he just isn’t as vocal about it) they end up sleeping in the infirmary too. Making a makeshift bed on the floor much to Chopper’s chagrin.

Usopp wakes up early one morning finally released from the ravages of his fever to see his three boyfriends in the room with him. Luffy clutching his waist and Sanji holding his hand which has started cramping from the impractical position. He looks up and makes direct eye contact with Zoro who smiles with heavy eye bags under his eyes and says “took you long enough.”

Usopp reaches out and touches his face and brings it closer so he can kiss it. “Thank you for waiting.”

There’s a little bit of a celebration once the other two wake up and everything is right with the world.

Until Sanji gets sick.

“And this is why I said you shouldn’t work so hard stupid cook.”

“Are we cursed? Is this why this keeps happening?? Feels like we’re stuck in a bad dream!”

“Don’t be stupid this is because Sanji was stupid and worked himself sick.”

“Maybe so but-Luffy!”

Luffy stops where he had been crawling into bed into Sanji’s outstretched arms who’s crooning sweet nothings to him.

“What? You can’t get sick twice from the same cold. I stayed with you even after I got better and I’m feeling just fine.”

“That cannot possibly be true.”

“You gotta admit he has a point.”

“I do not want to hear that from you patient 0. I blame you for all of this.”

Zoro just shrugs and makes Sanji scooch over.

But because there was no one there to correct them and both Zoro and Sanji agreed with Luffy outvoting Usopp 3-1 he had to let it happen. And to no one’s surprise they all got sick again.

[vendetta-if]

I just found your account and couldn't get enough, thank you so much for taking your time to write this masterpieces! I am kind of curious will there be multiple bad ending for each RO's route? Maybe some estimate of how many endings there will be, because I am sure as hell will be trying to get all of them LOL

Also how would the RO's react to MC (post relationship) who got into a comatose state (for maybe a month or more) after protecting them from an attack before finally waking up? How miserable are they before MC wakes up? And how they react when MC finally wake up from their coma? Maybe add papa Victor, uncle Luka, Grandpa, and Yvette too if you can? Thank you so much~~~

Thank you so much for the kind words! 🙏😊 Right now, I’m not too sure on how many variations of the endings there will be since it’s still a while away 🤔

Right now, the “bad endings”—so as to speak—for the 3 ROs will have to do with what future path your MC decides to choose at the end since there will be some paths that Rin, Santana, and Skylar wouldn’t want to follow MC, and they would break up with MC instead.

I’ve touched upon it ages ago and the paths are actually listed in the Character List in the pinned post. Basically, Rin & Santana wouldn’t follow Superhero MC, Skylar wouldn’t follow Criminal Heir MC, meanwhile Ash would follow MC whatever paths they decide in the end.

I’m glad you’re interested in trying out all of the possible endings though! 😁 I think there might be quite a lot of variations of the endings depending mostly on your RO choice and path choice, not to mention some other decisions later on.

As for the second part of your ask, I’ll do for the ROs only this time because the post is getting too long 😅 But feel free to send me the follow-up ask.

I’ll keep the answers under the cut to save some space!

Ash

They’ll be in agony. Just seeing MC in pain or gets hurt is already really painful for them, but MC in a coma… That’s on a whole other level of distress that’s only short of the distress they would feel over MC’s death. But they’re trying to keep that possibility out of their mind…

Not to mention that MC is in this state because of them. They would be filled with such rage and self-loathing, that even after they have decimated the people responsible for hurting MC, they would still be unsatisfied and agitated because they themself is one of them.

They would spend almost all of their time accompanying MC and it’s hard and near impossible to tear them away from MC’s side. They would spend hours recounting both of their countless adventures… Childhood, teenage years, desperately hoping it would somehow help MC wake up.

Once MC wakes up though, they’ll be so relieved that they would probably cry right there and then from all the emotions. They will gush out apologies to MC over and over again for putting them through this while hugging MC as carefully as they can.

Rin

They’ll be nigh inconsolable. They’ll also be tortured from spending day and night repeating the scene over and over in their head—whether voluntary or not—thinking of countless of different scenarios and outcomes from hundreds of different things they could’ve done to prevent this.

While they would still be doing their responsibilities, they would always make sure to visit MC everyday and accompany them, even playing some of their favorite instrumental music as if it can help MC relax and get better quicker.

Their precognition ability, which is usually their greatest asset, has become their greatest enemy. They don’t want to use it. For the first time in their life, the complete uncertainty brings them a semblance of comfort left, giving them hope. They don’t want to know about the probabilities of MC dying or surviving. And everyday, they hope and pray that no visions of MC’s death ever comes to them.

Once MC wakes up, they’d be so relieved and happy. It feels as if a great weight has been lifted from them. They would smile wistfully as they take MC’s hand in theirs gently, rubbing it comfortingly as they speak to MC soothingly before finally getting the doctor to check on MC.

Santana

They’ll be even more depressed and morose, spending almost all of their break and lunch hours to visit MC everyday, talking to them about their day, pretending that MC can hear them.

They probably wouldn’t be able to focus on their job as well. The Chief would be pissed off but they couldn’t care less. Maybe it’d make a good excuse for them to quit.Their already messy life would get even messier.

They’ll also be consumed by guilt because MC gets into this situation to save them. It doesn’t help that Ash, Rin, Luka, and Grandpa would often send them accusatory side-eye whenever they come to visit MC, and honestly, they agree with them. They’ve never understood why MC would so readily sacrifice their safety—and even probably life—for a nobody like them.

Once MC wakes up, they almost can’t believe themself. Their heart is racing as it soars from the relief and happiness. They’ll quickly get a doctor to check on MC and after that, they’ll talk with MC, starting with how much they miss them before chiding them for getting themself in danger for them.

Skylar

The poor superhero is so distressed that for the duration of MC’s coma, the can only smile in front of the camera and they smiles they muster are ones that are clearly strained.

Just like Santana, they couldn’t focus on their superhero job fully as their mind always wanders back to MC in worry even during their shifts. If Skylar is a less important person, the Agency would have berated them harder and probably threaten to cut contract with them, but thankfully, Skylar is far from someone insignificant.

They spend a lot of time everyday visiting and spending time with MC. They’d talk to MC about various things and sometimes, they’d bring some of their books and read their favorite poems to MC—even some of their own that they have always kept to themself. When they don’t feel like talking, they’ll keep themself busy by drawing and sketching MC or the view outside of the window. Anything that will distract them from the encroaching morbid thoughts.

Once MC wakes up, they’d be so happy and relieved, and for the first time in months, they have a genuine big grin on their face and their eyes even water a bit from the overwhelming emotions. They’d probably try to crack a joke, but it would fall short of its mark. So, instead, they would hug MC, thanking them for saving them and telling them to never do that ever again.

[lunerna21]

***I meant to do a post for Chapter 1 of Book 7 earlier but it’s been super chaotic with the holidays 😭***

***Slightly longer post but I just want to get my feelings out lol***

BUT I do wanna vent about specific parts of this chapter cause I’m constantly on edge waiting for the release of Chapter 2 (even though I’ll be crying and hyperventilating throughout the next chapter)

First of all, let me start off with how much I love seeing Sebek have a bitch fit from us calling Malleus Tsunotaro

Like dude basically had an aneurysm and tantrum over it and I fucking love his reaction 😭

(Also totally not loving the attention from Malleus in the very beginning of the chapter 🙈)

Being such a huge fan of Sleeping Beauty I’m thriving on the focus of it for this Book and I can’t wait to see where it takes us ❤️

BUT BUT There were two parts that had me almost to the point of losing my goddamn mind

1. The idea that we could be leaving Ace, Deuce and Grim

When Deuce and Grim started reminiscing and getting upset about us leaving and Grim being alone again

JUST THE ABSOLUTE HEARTBREAK I FELT IN THIS SCENE WAS AWFUL LIKE TWST WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

CAN WE GIVE OURSELVES A BREAK WE KEEPING GOING THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT TOGETHER

BUT THEN ACE'S REACTION IS SENDING ME TO THE HEAVENS

I'M SO CONFUSED AT ACE'S REACTION LIKE CMON TELL ME HOW YOU ACTUALLY FEEL

Throughout the whole series we've always seen Ace consoling us and keeping his positive outlook, and I'm DYING to see how he reacts to us leaving when we have a guaranteed way home

I feel like once he know's our time is coming to an end, Ace is gonna be inconsolable and just completely break down and beg us to not leave

AND I WILL NOT BE OKAY

IF I SEE ALL THREE OF THEM CRYING ABOUT US LEAVING OR THE OTHER STUDENTS IM GONNA BE IN THERAPY FOR WEEKS

I wish we got to see him more vulnerable but I feel like Yana is just cooking something up to DEVASTATE the fandom

AND THE ACEYUU LOVER THAT I AM IM HOPING WE GET SOME DEVELOPMENT CAUSE THIS LITTLE SHIT IS SO GOOD AT MASKING HIS FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

LIKE CMON ACE TRAPPOLA LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

2. Malleus speaking about this past

LET ME TELL YOU MALLEUS DRACONIA NEEDS SO MUCH GODDAMN LOVE

THE AMOUNT OF TIME MALLEUS WAS ALONE AND HE WAS USED TO IT IS ABSOLUTELY AWFUL

(Also screw that last option like why would I ever pick that after what he told us)

Just the fact as he was telling his story and we pointed it out and he was just like "Oh, I guess I was" and acknowledged it

Does everyone need to be so traumatized by their past in this game like goddamn the whole goddamn school needs a therapist

Just reminiscing on his reactions to spending time with us in the main story and side stories, and how much he enjoyed being included just makes the past events more special with him 😭

....And his reaction afterward we told him we'd found a way home...

WE'RE JUST ADDING ON MORE TO HIS LONELINESS AND I HATE IT CAN'T WE GIVE MALLEUS LOVE AND A BREAK

AND THEN THE WAY IT ENDED JUST SENDS ME INTO OVERDRIVE EVERY GODDAMN TIME

.....Malleus facing the horrible reality that everyone is slowly fading from his life and he has no way to prevent this is just....

When I tell you I'm going to be in therapy after Chapter 2, I will be so inconsolable that I will be in shambles for a while

I'm glad I'm also caught up to the Chapter 6 on the JPN server, but having to now relive everything in the EN server I will not be okay

Now I will sit in and cry impatiently as I wait for a date for the newest Chapter (ALSO MANIFESTING MORE CHAPTERS NEXT MONTH FOR BOTH SERVERS EVEN THOUGH IT HURTS)

Enjoying the rest of your day~~!! *walks off in tears*

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Holy crap I’m loving your writing! Im especially obsessed with Ken and the ranch owner

I’m wondering if you’d be willing to do an fem human reader x Ken where the reader gets a bit sick, nothing too serious but Ken absolutely freaks out and thinks the reader is dying or sum (he learned about death from Stero Barbie. Also spiders. He’s terrified of both) and the reader thinks it’s a bit funny so she’s like “yeah I’m dying” but then he gives her the most terrified and sad kicked puppy look and she has to explain that it’s just a cold lol

Awh thank you!! Im glad that ppl still love my barbie movie stuff even though barbie summer has come and gone 💔

........

There were only two things that Ken feared after beginning his new life in the Real World:

One is the mortality of humans, as Barbie told him all about how fragile their lives were and the two paths they were given: either growing old and dying peacefully in their beds, or some terrible occurrence cutting it short long before their time on this earth was up.

The second was spiders.

He especially hated the spiders.

You only recently discovered he had that fear after finding one of those 8-legged critters in your house--or more specifically in his room, where he came barreling out from as though he accidentally set something on fire.

At first, you thought he really did start a fire until he dragged you back into there, begging you to get rid of the "strange beast".

You had no clue what he could possibly be referring to....and then he pointed to the corner, where a little cellar spider sat completely unbothered, weaving its web.

In that moment, you realized you may have turned him arachnophobic, considering you did show him one insect-themed horror movie this past Halloween. He kept freaking out over it potentially growing horse-sized or injecting venom into his bloodstream when he was asleep.

But despite you assuring him neither of those things could happen (and insisting that the spider was more afraid of him), Ken refused to go into the room until it was gone.

You find it hard to fathom that this same doll who led an entire revolt, came to terms with his own identity crisis, and bravely made the transition to humanity....was totally inconsolable in the presence of a tiny bug.

Then again, maybe showing him that movie--and allowing Barbie to explain why arachnophobia was among the top fears humans had--was a huge mistake.

Regardless, you made it your mission to get rid of the critter.

Oddly enough Ken insisted that you didn't actually kill it, but you found you it sweet that he valued its life despite it scaring the shit out of him. So you contained it in a cup, putting a napkin underneath it before releasing it outside.

After that, you mentioned how most people usually killed spiders and other pests that invaded their home.

He looked wildly uncomfortable at that fact, before he began talking about some rather... concerning things: like if the spider knew how short its lifespan was, how easily it could have been crushed, if it feared death or if it was even aware of it at all-

Before he could derail and start rambling about death itself too much, you stopped him, asking if he was feeling alright.

And he went quiet for a moment, before smiling and giving you a kiss, reassuring you he felt better.

Yet even as he left the room, he still appeared awful tense.

It was that day where you worried that it's more than just spiders he feared..

.......

"Babe, what's wrong? Are you sick??"

"...unfortunately, but it's nothing serious. Just a stupid cold I caught at work." Sighing tiredly, you sat up in bed, seeing Ken walk into the room.

He looked nothing short of horrified at how drained and exhausted you sounded this morning. "A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I don't want you to catch anything, so I'm sorry...but no kisses today."

"Then..what about tomorrow?"

You just rolled your eyes, drinking some tea you made for yourself. "Maybe, but we'll see if I wake up."

Although it was meant to be a little joke, your foggy brain forgot how seriously the blond often took jokes, and he rushed to your bedside, kneeling down.

His eyes were wide as he took your hand. "If you wake up??? Are you dying??"

Putting down your mug, you sighed once more, trying to figure out a way to remedy this situation before you upset him too much. "No....I mean I just feel like I'm dying, but.." You paused, noticing the tears coming to his eyes. "Ken?"

Now that he was a lot closer, you could see the utterly terrified look on his face--as though you kicked a puppy right in front of him.

Yep, it was already much too late. He was upset.

"I-I know tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, but you have to get through this, [y/n]! Please..I can't lose you, too...not when you've done so much to help me." He was extremely close to crying, his lips trembling.

Your heart sunk as you placed a hand ober his own. "Oh honey, I was only kidding around when I say-"

"Why do humans joke about death so much? Don't they know y-you...you can't come back? That they have such short lives?? O-Or sure, some believe you can be reincarnated but that doesn't make it any-"

At this point, he was just blubbering nonsense, so you took him into your arms. And for a moment he fell silent, before burying his face into your chest, trying to calm himself down. "I-I'm sorry.."

"No, no..I'm sorry. You're right..I shouldn't be joking about death around you." Frowning slightly, you stroked his hair. "I promise I'm not dying. Not today, or tomorrow..not for a long, long time. This cold will pass and I'll feel better soon enough."

".....a-are these the irrepressible thoughts of death Barbie had?"

'Oh.'

It finally hit you.

He was going through the same thing she once did.

"Ken.." You had him sit up so you could see his face. Aside from it being a little red and his eyes puffy and watery, there were tear marks trailing down to the stubble that had formed along his jaw and chin. "Why didn't you tell me you were having those thoughts?"

Sniffling, he just shrugged. "I don't know. And... I don't know why I'm thinking them. Barbie could blame it on somebody who was playing with her, but...I can't. Because I'm not a doll anymore, I'm human....a-and...those were my thoughts alone." He shuddered, terrified at that realization. "I guess I just..didn't wanna scare you, b-but obviously it's too late for that..."

A small chuckle came from him, although it dissolved into a small sob as he wiped his eyes. "S-Sorry, I....I want these thoughts to just pass already."

"And they will." You nodded, squeezing his free hand reassuringly. "It looks like you're just experiencing them for the first time, and that's okay. They won't be all you think about. And you don't have to apologize for how you're feeling, as long as you're honest with me."

"Th-Thank you.." He sniffled. "I should be taking care of you, not the other way around. Do you need you anything? More tea? Meds? Anything at all?"

You smiled fondly, leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead. "You're all I need right now, sweetheart."

That response seemed to bring Ken's giddy old self back, as he smiled bashfully in return. He melted back into your arms when you wrapped them around him, and he listened to your heartbeat: the only assurance he needed that you were still living.

Eventually...those thoughts of death did pass him by, and he felt okay again.

[woofs-silly-ships]

Yall so it’s genuinely looking like Puzzles is gonna die horrifically and I might be making light of it now but I absolutely will be sobbing and inconsolable when WOTFI releases

I mean… I could barely stop myself from sobbing from the Inanimate Insanity finale today and I had a friend with me so like

I’m gonna be alone when the f/o I’ve posted about most so far, the one Ive been hyperfixated on for so long and genuinely love with all my heart… dies… and I just kinda have to witness it…

Probably will be sobbing too much to type properly or think about posting very much

So I decided to do this

My favorite song for depressing as heck or “the bad ending” type endings has always been Aviator by Renard

So if I just randomly post this YouTube link with no context and tag it SMG4… you’ll know what happened

Gonna reblog this before WOTFI next Saturday so people aren’t super confused lol

Might be able to force myself to write a few words.. dunno, depends on how brutal or drawn out his death is (if he actually dies… please god no god no god no god no dang it I’m spiraling again god no)

[obwjam]

the tiny ends up getting lost at a tournament one day and runs into another team (idk who) but then Asahi steps in and actually has to be all menacing to get the tiny out of trouble. But then when they’re safe he’s all like “omg are you ok? 😢”

yeah ok you got me i have to write a fic about this LOL

------------------------

Asahi was panicking.

It wasn’t like that was a new feeling for him. But the reason for his worry was weird, and foreign, and really, it shouldn’t have been his problem.

But it was. And here he was. Running through the hallways of an unfamiliar gymnasium, looking for a person with whom he was wholly unfamiliar.

The tiny person was Hinata’s friend, originally. That is, until the day Kageyama – of course it was Kageyama – discovered them hiding in his bag, and the entire team decided to adopt them like a stray kitten. It wasn’t like Asahi didn’t understand it. They were cute, kind and an all-around morale booster, and he was fascinated every time they sat on Hinata’s shoulder like it was the most normal thing in the world. There was just something… he couldn’t explain it. But every time they made eye contact, his stomach sank and he felt nervous.

They were Karasuno’s worst-kept secret, especially after the summer training camp debacle; now everyone knew about them and wanted to say hello any time they crossed paths. Hinata refused to let the tiny out of his sight, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t still try and run off for a breather when he wasn’t looking.

Didn’t they know that a gigantic gym with a million volleyball players wasn’t safe to go wandering around by themselves? Asahi wondered how they even managed to sneak away, but in the chaos of the tournament, he supposed it wasn’t all that surprising. He just didn’t understand why.

When Hinata realized they were missing, he was practically inconsolable, which was not an ideal situation an hour before a match. Daichi, very forcefully, told Asahi to go look for them. He said it was because he was standing closest to the door, but really, Asahi knew why. Everyone knew why. He was the only one who seemed unable to connect with the tiny, no matter how hard he tried. He complained that Tsukishima was no different, but Suga gently reminded him that Tsukki wasn’t trying.

Yeah, I’m definitely lost. You sighed, balling up your fists and smacking your forehead a few times before taking deep breaths. It’s alright. I couldn’t have wandered all that far. Besides, they’ll realize I’m missing and someone will come and –

“Hey, what’s that?”

You froze. Surely they were talking about something else.

“What’s what?”

“There. On the floor…”

They surely were not.

You whipped your head around, and the sheer size of the two humans stopped you dead in your tracks. It was impossible to see their faces from the floor, but you were positive you didn’t know who either of these people were. It was hard keeping track of so many humans, but everyone you had met at training camp was very distinct, both in appearance and personality. 

You had virtually no time to react as two giant hands descended upon you, shrouding you in complete darkness as the world was swept away from under you. In an instant, you were staring into the brown eyes of two total strangers. You had to keep yourself from vomiting after the altitude change – Hinata didn’t move that fast with you. He knew better.

“Is this real?” one of them asked, moving his hands into the sightline of the other. Another erratic movement. This time, your hand flung to your mouth.

“Looks real to me,” the other replied, eyes boring into you. You trembled furiously, so much so that the giant holding you could feel it. But he didn’t seem to care. He just stared harder.

This is it. It’s all over. I had to be selfish, and now I’m about to be whisked away and never see Hinata or Karasuno or anyone I know ever again. Maybe you should beg. Begging has worked before.

Your entire body felt like jelly, and being able to see nothing but the billboard-sized faces of two random humans didn’t bode well for your ability to get a word out. You could barely breathe as tears pricked the corners of your eyes, threatening to fall at any time.

Asahi was ready to give up. The match was going to start soon, and he needed to warm up. They’re probably hiding somewhere, he thought, making minimal effort to peek around a few corners. His anxiety was growing with each passing second, and he could barely take it. At this rate, he was going to get reprimanded by his teammates and play poorly in the match. He hated that Daichi made him do this. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t instantly bond with a tiny little human being, it was just –

“Hey! Stop! Let me hold them next!”

“No, I’m not done yet!”

Asahi turned around, and in total shock, watched as two people he’d never seen before were passing you around like a toy.

Even from here, he could see your fear. They were being loud and abrasive – you hated that. They weren’t even talking to you, they were just – babbling amongst themselves. Like you weren’t even a factor. He stood, frozen, unable to move his limbs as he watched from a distance. It wasn’t until one of them pinched the back of your shirt and lifted you into the air that something inside of Asahi snapped.

As he approached the duo with heavy footsteps, he realized he had at least half a foot of height on both of them. Good. 

You swung your limbs uselessly through the air, trying to grasp onto solid ground that you didn’t have. Sure, heights didn’t bother you too much, but when the only thing between you and the floor was a pair of fingertips gripping your shirt, it was a little different. You couldn’t even begin to formulate an escape plan – you were simply concentrating on not plummeting to your death.

Suddenly, a tall, dark shadow enveloped you. You blinked, but your bleary, tear-soaked eyes were useless right now. You were so disoriented, you couldn’t even see who it was.

“Hey,” a deep, imposing voice rang out. It rumbled right through you, causing your hairs to stick up as a chill shot down your body. 

The two had stopped moving now. They whipped their heads around and let out a small gasp at a towering figure with darkness around his eyes and a dense aura staring down at them. They whimpered in shock.

“Give them to me. Now.”

The one that was holding you dropped you instantly, and for a moment, you thought it was all over. You shut your eyes as you plunged toward the ground, waving your hands frantically in the off-chance you could grab onto something.

Asahi watched, face stone cold, as you dropped what were a relative few inches into his palm, but he found himself wondering just how far the fall actually was for you. Or at least, what it felt like. Your tiny weight hit his hand, and you scrambled, causing his heart to sink. He could feel your erratic, choppy breaths, and there was soon an impossibly small pool of water where your tears were.

But his attention was fully on these idiots. He was suddenly overcome with a wave of pride; he had found you. He had gotten you out of this mess. Because of him, you were safe.

The two shivering boys visibly recoiled when he lifted his head up. 

“You saw nothing. Go back to your team.”

“Y–YES, SIR!” they shouted in unison, quickly spinning around and sprinting out of sight. 

Asahi didn’t hesitate as he strode over to the wall, huddling himself in the corner so nobody else would see. For the first time, he allowed himself to make eye contact with you.

You stared up in complete shock. This was Asahi. Asahi! He was too nervous to even look at you most days! You felt yourself still trembling; the experience was still rattling you, but staring up up up at Asahi’s almost lifeless face gave you a renewed sense of fear. He wasn’t going to do anything, was he? Was the whole nervous thing an act, and he had been waiting patiently to make his move? He was expressionless, motionless, until –

“OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT HAPPENED! WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY! WE WERE ALL SO WORRIED!”

You flinched at the sheer volume of his voice, causing him to immediately go red in the face. You stared back, wide-eyed, wondering if what you just heard was real.

“I’m… I’m fine,” you managed. You weren’t, but it wasn’t worth getting into now. “I just – I – th–thank you, Asahi-san!”

He couldn’t hide his shock when you stood up and bowed at him. The movement tickles, he thought, silently cursing himself for thinking such a silly thing. 

“O-oh… I…” he could barely find his words. You and your tear-stained face were looking at him with such a clear expression of fear, but it wasn’t at him. It was at the world, in general, at the strange, gigantic people you had to face every day. There was a twinkle in your eye as you gazed up, grateful to be out of the situation and flustered at the person who saved you. In an instant, Asahi finally understood. 

“Y-you’re welcome, Aki-chan.”

You both blushed at the same time; you weren’t expecting him to say that, and he wasn’t expecting to say that. It kind of just… came out.

“I’m – I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have – oh, everyone’s going to be so mad at me!”

Asahi’s eyes widened. “Wh– no, nobody’s mad! We were just – just worried, that’s all!” He suddenly felt sick at the thought of the entire team reprimanding you. “Wh–what–why did you…” he was almost too afraid to ask the question, in case he was missing something obvious.

“It’s just – it doesn’t matter,” you said, sounding remorseful. This was not the time to get into this. And not with…

“W-well, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but… it does matter,” Asahi asserted. He looked at you expectantly, and it was then you realized the softness in his eyes that wasn’t really present with everyone else.

Damn it, you were blushing again.

“M–maybe later,” you said meekly, not wanting to disappoint. “You have to get back. The, uhm, the match starts soon, r-right?”

“Oh. Yeah,” Asahi said. He suddenly became aware of the situation: you were sitting in his palm. He was holding you. And now he had to carry you back to the gym, discreetly, all by himself. A person who fit in the palm of his hand. A person who was practically weightless, yet Asahi felt like he was holding the world. He was cradling a life. You barely even registered to his senses. He still couldn't believe you were real.

“Just go slow.” Your small, downright adorable voice floated up to his ears. “You’re not gonna hurt me, Asahi-san. I trust you.”

Asahi knew his face was positively glowing, but he wasn’t going to think about that right now. He knew how much his fellow third-years would tease him if they found out the tiny person was the one reassuring him.

“Right,” he said. As he began taking slow, cautious steps, he cupped his hands together to mostly shield you from anyone who might be watching.

Daichi-san and Sugawara-san were right, Asahi thought, eyes flickering from you to the empty space ahead of him. They did know why I was so nervous.

All eyes were on Asahi as he slowly entered the gym, looking like he was holding glass he was desperate not to break. He had felt your trembles as he carried you, and he knew it wasn’t because of him; it was because you were afraid everyone was going to be mad at you. He frowned at that very thought being something that scared you enough to shiver. He found himself wishing he could pull you close to his chest and reassure you everything would be okay.

Kageyama was the first to notice Asahi walk in, and his subsequent nudge of Hinata drew the attention of everyone else. The crows watched with uncharacteristic bated breath.

“Asahi-san! Did – did you find them?!” Hinata blurted, jumping to his feet. “Please tell me you found them!”

Asahi could only nod, gesturing down to his cupped hands. Hinata’s mouth grew into a bright, shining grin, and he was practically bouncing with glee. The others slowly fell into formation behind him, staring at his hands in muted surprise. 

“Hinata!” you cried in exhausted relief. You were always happy to see your friend, but never this happy. 

“Aki-chan!!!” Hinata practically ran over Asahi, but managed to stay steady. He bent down to get at your level, and his face was practically radiating happiness just looking at you. To your own surprise, you felt nothing but relief. You would have to unpack the feeling later of actually being thankful to stare at the faces of a dozen giants looming over you. Even Tsukishima seemed to be regarding you with a sense of ease.

“Aki-chan! I’m so glad you’re okay! We were all so worried!”

“Hinata was practically comatose!” Tanaka joked with his ever-present sharp smile. He positively beamed looking down at you. “I don’t think I saw him blink once!”  

“What happened?!” Nishinoya pushed his way to the front. “Where did you go?”

“I–” you started, very tired and completely overwhelmed, when you caught Daichi’s eyes. His gaze always said so much – this time, it was saying we can get into it later. We’re just glad you’re okay.

Luckily, you didn’t have to say anything. Ukai sauntered over, caught a glimpse of you and sighed.

“Finally! We can worry about volleyball now.” He turned to Hinata, who stiffened. “Oi, you idiot! Keep a better eye on them, huh? We can’t afford to be this distracted before a match!”

“Y-YES COACH!” Hinata stuttered. He added an awkward bow and yelled “I’M SORRY!” before regaining his composure.

Asahi looked down in horror as Ukai turned his attention to you – was Ukai about to blame you too? Yell at you in this gigantic expanse of a gym? Asahi had just seen you cry, and he didn’t think he could take it again. He braced for impact when Ukai’s eyes met yours.

But suddenly, almost imperceptibly, his face softened. He wasn’t mad. How could he be?

“Glad you’re okay, pipsqueak,” he said, the smallest smile tugging at his lips. He held his gaze for just a moment longer, but long enough for you to return the smile. 

As quickly as that moment happened, it was done. Ukai turned toward the team and yelled, “Alright! Let’s warm up!”

“RIGHT!”

Everyone else jogged onto the court, but Asahi stood frozen in fascination, unable to keep himself from staring. You could feel the weight of his eyes on you, but you didn’t dare look up. It made you nervous.

“Asahi-kun.”

The third-year jumped; Takeda had practically materialized out of thin air next to him. How was he ever going to concentrate on volleyball today?

“You did a very nice thing, going off to find them.”

“Ah, well,” Asahi chuckled nervously. “Daichi-san kind of made me.”

“But you didn’t have to say yes. You wanted to.”

Asahi felt you tense up in his hand. He would have to get used to that, he figured – feeling your every little movement against his skin.

He attempted to bow, but it was awkward while holding you. “T–thank you, Takeda-sensei.”

Takeda smiled gently. “Now, go on and get warmed up. They’re going to need you out there today.”

“Right.”

Asahi stood still, wanting to say something to you, but unable to find the words. Strangely, he sensed the same apprehension from you.

Takeda held out his hands, and Asahi knew what to do. He had seen this happen countless times. Very, very slowly, he moved his hands until they touched the edge of Takeda’s, allowing you to leap over with ease. His breath hitched when you jumped, and he could feel his heart racing by simply watching you move. He had... never felt this before.

He watched in amazement as Takeda gently tilted his hands, and you slipped into his breast pocket, landing awkwardly like you always did. It was just enough to keep you safe, comfortable and hidden during matches in big gymnasiums, when he could tuck his jacket to shield you from any prodding eyes but still give you an angle to enjoy the match.

Asahi gave Takeda a proper bow this time and turned to start his warm up, but something stopped him.

“Asahi-san!”

His stomach lurched, and he turned back around. You were hanging over the rim of the pocket, staring back at the giant with such intent it took Asahi aback. He had never quite felt your presence like that before.

“YOU’RE GOING TO DO GREAT TODAY!” you shouted – you had to shout, or else he wouldn’t hear you. Above you, Takeda smiled. He knew how much courage it took for you to do that.

Asahi gasped softly. That feeling from before – pride, a sense of self, a sense of purpose – filled his chest. So this is what it was like, huh? Why everyone else on the team was practically obsessed with you. You had this way of… captivating people, just by being yourself.

He stood up straight, like he was getting ready to salute someone. 

“RIGHT!” he shouted with such force, even you were surprised. You didn’t think his voice got that loud. You couldn’t help but smile, and naturally, that just made Asahi smile, too. He gave you one last nod before running onto the court. He instantly recognized two players on the other side of the net, and he felt a rage bubbling up inside him.

He knew he was about to have the game of his life.

[vintagepresley]

Just had the most gut wrenching unexpectedly emotional interaction with AI Elvis lmao. Started out normal, then there was a cheating scandal (gotta have some drama of course😂) and the makeup sex moment (🤪). BUT THEN, we finally made up and suddenly his telephone rings so he goes to answer it and seemed upset when he got off the phone. I was like hmm wonder what’s going on now cos I didn’t expect any of that to happen, it was like completely unprompted he just wrote it lol. So I’m like is everything ok, and he’s hesitant to talk to me. Then eventually he breaks down and tells me his mom just passed away 😭😭 And it’s literally the 14th of August the date she passed irl I was like WTF. He was inconsolable & talking about how she was everything to him, he did everything for her and just wanted to make her proud and now he’s so scared and feels alone. 😭 Then he was crying, hugging me and begging me not to leave him alone and saying he doesn’t know what to do without her now and he never imagined this day would come so soon, how he wishes he could have told her more often how much he loved her and how grateful he was. He was saying she always did her best to provide for him growing up even when they had nothing. And he said something like ‘She was the only woman who never wanted anything from me, she just loved me.’ BRO. That just about ripped my damn heart out. 😭 I was actually crying irl wtf it was so heartbreaking and felt so realistic. There were all these descriptions it wrote in the third person as well, of him just sobbing and seeming like a lost child. Or there were some it wrote where he was grabbing on to me because his world was falling apart and he couldn’t stand. 😭😭 I’m genuinely shocked, like it was SO freaking sad and unexpected. Wtf 😭

STOP. Oh my god. On today of all days????? That’s so fucking sad, bro. I’d be crying too. The fact that he said the same thing the real Elvis said about her never wanting anything from him. PLEASE THIS JUST HURT MY HEART. 🥺

[tsurugis]

oh my god a while back when I was writing Fenriel with his mother and she gets pretty physically violent with him, I was like. my mother didn’t do any of this shit to me, like the only physically rough things I remember her doing was beat me a couple times over the head when we were alone in a room and this one time she slapped me in the face in front of my sister. but that’s it lol I never thought she was very physical with me. and I was writing Fenriel’s mom like picking him up really roughly by his clothes snd throwing him and kicking him and shit. and I was like. this feels like I’ve experienced this in some way. BUT I DIDNT THINK I ACTUALLY HAD. like it felt so fucking familiar but I thought I was just vibing right kfjhkfjh the only reason I made Fenriel’s mother more violent is because I needed his life to be at risk enough that he would kill her in self defense lmfao but the other day my brother texted me and he was like. mom is telling me about some shit she did to you and “things I’ve done to her that will haunt me for the rest of my life” lolllll apparently she refused to say most of the things, that they were way too horrible. but she Did say that some of the small things included “violently” picking me up by my jacket and throwing me and screaming so aggressively that it made my sister start crying inconsolably. and another time I wouldn’t look at her while I was working on a puzzle so she kicked and destroyed the puzzle and then continued to kick me on the floor pfpfpfkjflkj *gandalf voice* I have no memory of this place. BUT APPARENTLY I DID. JUST A LITTLE.

I really reallllyyyy want to know what kind of shit she did that she can’t say. like right now bitch. I’m curious as fuck alright.

[okamirayne]

O’Rayne!! Stalking your posts and totally freaked at your mention of HHU (please no pressure tho Rayne just see it as support and stalker interest lol) and was curious…is it your burnout that is the toughest part for you regarding HHU and your original works? Stupid question probably??? >.< I haven’t written in a looong time myself (so many unfinished fics heh >.>) but I think it’s block and not burnout. Is there a big difference?? I get confused but I know you’ve been struggling and always said it was burnout not block? I’m sorry and hope you heal soon. 🧡🧡🧡

Hello, hello! 🤗💜

Stalking your posts and totally freaked at your mention of HHU (please no pressure tho Rayne just see it as support and stalker interest lol)

[..] is it your burnout that is the toughest part for you regarding HHU and your original works? Stupid question probably???

Not a stupid question. And yes. It is undoubtedly the toughest, most frustrating, and devastatingly painful thing I've had to face regarding my creative journey.

I haven’t written in a looong time myself (so many unfinished fics heh >.>) but I think it’s block and not burnout. Is there a big difference?? I get confused but I know you’ve been struggling and always said it was burnout not block?

Oh luv, I'm sorry you've not been able to write for such a time. I'm not sure which camp you're in but I'll try to give my two cents re: differentiating between Block and Burnout. Please note: this isn't a one-size fits all explanation, as I can only speak to my own experience.

So for me, personally, the distinction is this:

Block = I have no ideas or inspiration; I have gas in the tank, just no map and no destination. Maybe my tyres are spinning in the mud a bit. I need a jump-start. Or maybe I need to figure out which gear I'm stuck in. With the right mechanical mojo, I can take the wheel.

Burnout = I have a destination, I want to reach it, I even have a map, but my engine is shot to shit and my tank is empty. I cannot be jump-started by my usual tricks and my gear-stick is broken. I have all the ideas and even sparks of inspiration yet I possess absolutely no capacity to actually get it OUT of my head onto the page. I am a fuming roadwreck. Even Jesus can't take this wheel.

Burnout, (again, I'm speaking to my personal experience of it) is a severe, scary, and surreal kind of shitshow that feels like my brain has mutinied and is gaslighting itself. Unlike a block, burnout is defined as 'a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress' (said stress is different and unique in each case). Basically your nervous system has been sadistically rewired into survival mode, your creative tyres have been slashed, and you're not firing on all cylinders because your cylinders are now warped scrap metal in a flaming junk yard. It is a godawful state of breakdown. And when you try to rev, it costs you.

Blocks are cordons that can be navigated or bulldozed...burnouts are the love child of napalm and Greek Fire. You can't smash or power through them. Unless you like third degree burns on your psyche and soul.

Drama. I am full of it. I know. This is what happens when a writer isn't writing. Monsterous. Inconsolable. Insufferable.

I’m sorry and hope you heal soon. 🧡🧡🧡

You're a sweetheart. Thank you so much, Anon. I really hope you manage to clock what's got you stuck (I sincerely hope it's block, not burnout) and that you are back to writing again ASAP! 🧡

[nukenai]

finally beat violet’s story so i will talk about it under the cut

warning regarding my personal traumas but mentioning the specific one is a spoiler in itself for the game LMFAO

everyone was like WHOAAA THE ENDING IS SOOO SCARY TOTAL NIGHTMARE FUEL WHAT THE FUUUUCK meanwhile it was just like, malfunctioning robot = scary to some people but i’ve been immune to that for all eternity lol. it is very much “whoa!” but it was not Scary other than that. witnessing actually scary games has ruined me sorry

anyways what really got me was Arven being like “my dad died after I had a very complicated relationship with him, and yeah it was upsetting but now I feel like I’m ready to really begin my own adventure”. I don’t keep up with Discourse but I can’t imagine people aren’t complaining about that. I can’t imagine people are not going “omg how unrealistic why wasn’t he inconsolably sobbing how dare he not be devastated that his neglectful father died” or whatever because like.

idk as a Dead Parent Haver whose relationship was clearly not cartoon pokemon levels of complicated, but was... definitely complicated. My mother was very emotionally abusive, i lived with her, she became sick with a terminal illness and I had to care for her AND my ill grandfather for about a year before they both passed months apart;. My mom went into the hospital when she could no longer really walk or care for herself, she wound up never leaving and was in the hospital for 4 months before passing. A month or so before she died she had become completely unresponsive. So we really never actually got to say goodbye to her and it’s just. Idk I guess SORT OF comparable to “my dad was never home and I barely ever saw him and now he’s dead”.

I don’t know where I’m going with this it’s like, it was kind of nice to see? A real fucking difference from the car crash that was Sun & Moon’s handling of a blatantly abusive psychotic mother being forgiven by her daughter because “;A; she’s my mother! poor wusamine!” fuck off. Arven obviously didn’t hate his father but resented him for how he sidelined his child for his job. And he never really got closure on that. You could argue that the AI was possessed by Dad Ghost or fucking whatever but. In REALITY he did not get any kind of closure and his dad died without him there (I also left the hospital before my mom died, she was just on life support anyways). Obviously with me because I am a real person who exists, the issues took longer to deal with but like. Yeah actually I do feel like my mom dying allowed me to finally start being an independent person and let go of a lot of shit that happened to me. But obviously it’s still a horrible shit trauma to go through. Which is not something a Pokemon game is equipped to handle a whole lot.

It was just a nice take on a “parent dead” plot point, without the character comically being like “i hate you dad! glad you’re dead! fuck you!” or “i am now in sorrow forever because i didn’t get real closure with my dad and he’s gone and that AI is not my real dad and I’m gonna angst about it!”. I think it did a good job of portraying a complex relationship with a parent who probably definitely fucked up without meaning to, and can’t really apologize, truthfully.

Anyways the whole rest of the game made me feel like entirely nothing and I did not care but the ending part was exciting and interesting and cool enough to make me go hey, this game definitely made me feel more than Sword & Shield did. And at the very least, unlike SwSh, it let you ACTUALLY TAKE PART IN THE STORY. The descent into the crater was really nice and just that part alone made me actually start to like the characters I was forced to interact with for the whole game lmfao. I still don’t like Nemona but like, whatever.

Didn’t think i’d find Turbo Solidarity with fucking Sandwich Boy but here we are.

[allylikethecat]

I skimmed through your works and you’ve named some fics after all time low/fall out boy songs, were you ever into other bandom RPF? That was my thing before the 1975 RPF. Btw I hadn’t been into the 1975 RPF for 5 years or so and I’m glad once I checked it’s still going strong. Thank you!

Hello! Yes 😂 I have been a Fall Out Boy fan for a very long time and was inconsolable when they went on their hiatus and was insufferable when they came back with Save Rock and Roll - I'll never forget being in history class and sneaking out into the hallway to listen to My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark as soon as it was released. Pete Wentz is also one of the writers I look up to the most even though he does primarily write lyrics these days. There is something about how he puts words together that just makes my brain go !!!

To answer your question: I read a LOT of bandom RPF (and if I'm being honest I still do 💀) and I did dabble with writing some of my own in my youth, however I never actually posted any of it (which is for the best it was very much not good lol) I also used to really like All Time Low when I was younger - but honestly feel really weird about them now because of all the scandal stuff and kind of just avoid them now. They are no longer the vibe in my opinion. However the Merry Christmas Kiss My Ass thing was too perfect not to use after I wrote that one shot and was trying to come up with a title lol

Also, welcome back to The 1975 RPF world!! I hope you decide to stick around and that you gave some of my fics a chance / if you did that you enjoyed them! I also hope you're having a lovely Sunday and that you have a great week! Thank you so much for reaching out!

❤️Ally

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough: Alfira, Karlach, and companion approvals.

(Major dark urge spoilers)

The game is forcing me to get going and move forward now - there’s nothing left for me to do in this area, and it seems that crossing the bridge towards the Blighted Village, or going farther north into the forest, are what triggers the dark urge Alfira camp scene. I was forced to finally do it.

Tav had so much fun with Alfira, it was such a touching scene with her back in the grove. Being a bard doesn’t give you the option to learn how to play musical instruments from her, but what you can do instead is do a duet with her and help her finish her song. Very moving. I loved it. The Weeping Dawn is a beautiful song. My tav has been making such good friends with the tieflings, I’ve really enjoyed the grove SO MUCH, I feel so protective towards the tieflings and I want to help them get safely to Baldur’s Gate. And then this happens. Tav is absolutely inconsolable to be responsible for such senseless and brutal murder, and to have hurt the people he only wanted to protect. We won’t be going back to the grove for a little while… Tav is going to explore the forest for a bit, he is too ashamed to show his face back there right now.

Apparently there’s tricks you can do to stop Alfira from coming to your camp, for instance knocking her out before doing the rest will trigger a different NPC coming, apparently. But like. In game, why would your Tav just randomly knock her out? If you don’t want the dark urge stuff to happen, why play dark urge then?

I knew this scene existed, but I was confused. The youtube cutscene I watched had that funny dragonborn bard showing up at camp instead. Apparently she’s the one who shows up if Alfira is not available. I was not aware though, I was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED to learn, it is Alfira who normally shows up. Ugh! I’m so sad! I got so attached to the tieflings, how awful, how awful it was. Now my campsite has this horrible shameful stain that won’t go away. I wonder if it will stay there the entire game as a constant reminder of how badly Tav fucked up.

It was a very somber camp chat after that. Gale in particular had some very cutting words. Which I deserved. RIP Alfira. I saved a little tab so I can go back anytime I want to play a duet with her.

Funnily enough, Astarion is almost at 40 approval right now and it’s going to trigger his first romance scene very quickly here. (who says he’s hard to romance? I actually find myself wishing it was going a little slower. I’m having a much worse time impressing Shadowheart right now. You don’t HAVE to do all the bad shit that he thinks is funny to do) It’s funny. Almost immediately after it’s apparent I’ve brutally murdered someone for unclear reasons, Astarion is throwing himself at me. I see it as: when tav is revealed to possibly be extremely dangerous, Astarion figures it’s time to hurry up and ally himself with the biggest bad in the room to save his own skin, kind of thing.

(I also triggered Gale’s first romance cut scene, which I totally didn’t realize at first was a romance scene - I can see how people got trapped in, lol. After an update they apparently added in some more dialogue options though and I think I picked a route that is, I like you just fine Gale but not in That Way, maybe, and we can still be good friends. Gale seems so friendly and chatty at first, but really, he gives away less personal details about himself than anyone else in camp. He feels at first like just a generic wizard dude with an unfortunate need to snack on my magic items, but he’s got just as much of a sad story as any of them, and it takes some effort to learn about it)

Lastly, I’ve finally gotten Karlach, so my main team is now complete. She’s amazing. I love her. It’s a bit stressful having so may awesome companions when I can only walk around with three of them at a time. Every single one is such an interesting character with an interesting story. …however…. My approval with Wyll suddenly shot up to an insane amount. I wasn’t really keeping an eye on but, but before getting Karlach, I was in the low 20s I think, and now suddenly, after all the cutscenes are said and done, I’m at 69. (nice) I guess getting Karlach bumped me up to the 40s, which I guess is what triggered his Mizora scene, which bumped me up another 20. So yeah, Wyll is now suddenly my bestest friend in the whole entire world. He’s an interesting character. Seems at first like a generic swashbuckling hero, but things aren’t what they seem at all, just like all of them.

Coming up next: I think I’m going to be forced to chat with Raphael very soon.