#when i was in the states as a kid i was on the local girls soccer team every fall and spring
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cinematicnomad · 7 months ago
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1, 3, and 8 for the fun things to be asked
001. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are? rather than just link you to my other answer, i will provide more (non-trauamtic) defining facets of my life: 1) my parents being almost 40 by the time they had me (38 and 39 respectively); 2) not getting my drivers license until i was 23 (follow this experience through the tag #kat learns to drive); and 3) my school in germany only having a mixed gender soccer team when i moved there in 4th grade
003. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of? i feel like this is more difficult to just limit myself to 3. here's 3 random ones off the top of my head: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, apollo 13, and the cutting edge.
008. any reacquiring dreams? unfortunately i don't, so i WILL be linking to my original answer here :)
ask fun questions!
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pinolitas · 1 year ago
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my mom watches too much news it makes her so negative and anxious yesterday I said I was going to the library and she's like "they closed them the other day cause of a bomb threat" I say Im going to the spa and she's like "they just closed one down that was actually a prostitution ring" girl stfuuuuuu like growing up that's all she ever said was shit like that like I'm going to the movies somewhere and she's like "oh there was a shooting over there" girl where has there NOT been a shooting I'm soooooooo shut up idc idc idcccc
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eideticmemory · 2 months ago
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LATE NIGHT TALKING | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER
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The best man and maid of honor hooking up? How cliche!!
Word Count: 8k
Warning/Includes: Ridiculous amounts of flirting. Very “omg just fuck him and get it over with” vibes. The wedding of a fictional couple that I got way too invested in! Smut! Named after this song because I was listening to it when I got the request lmao.
Shout out to Matthew for literally being in someone’s wedding while I was writing this. I love you, baby ❤️
Hattie Welsh is a city girl. She was born and raised downtown where she would walk herself to school during the week and had a route for maximum weekend shopping. An only child to two parents, a dad who stayed home when it was Not the norm, she got anything and everything she ever wanted. Her dad would meet her on the front porch with her bike after school and they'd cruise around the neighborhood. On weekends, all three of them would take the 10 minute drive to the local park where they'd bike the same 8 miles every Saturday. At the end of the trail was an ice cream shop. Birthday cake was her favorite. She'd get three scoops in a cone but her dad would always end up finishing the last scoop for her.
It was memories like these that inspired Hattie to use her business degree to open an outdoor supply company. She named it after her parents. Alan & Eva's Co-op. It started very local. But Hattie was always good with promotion. She had an excellent marketing team and connections formed around the state. A year into business and Alan & Eva had three locations.
With this sudden growth, Hattie had to seek out more intensive financial advisement and she requested the services of LF Corporation - financial consultants of companies like North Face and REI.
This is how she met Cole Briggs.
Cole was sent to meet with Alan & Eva's CEO. He knew her name, he knew her qualifications, he knew the context of their meeting. He did not know how gorgeous she was so he was immediately caught off guard. His palms were sweaty by the time they shook hands.
"Oh, wow!" he remarked as he saw the bike mounted on her wall. "A Schwinn? I had the same one as a kid but in green!"
"Oh my gosh, yes! That's actually my childhood bike!" she beamed. She leaned over her desk with a bright smile. "I've kinda outgrown it."
He laughed, "I grew up in Pullen Park neighborhood so my friends and I would ride the trail at-"
"Warren park?" she gasped. "My parents and I used to go every weekend, still do!"
"No way! Where-where are your parents?"
"Downtown, near the natural science museum."
"Ah, yeah, yeah. We didn't get downtown often but we would occasionally have family dinner nights at Kaleidoscope."
"Oh, we love kaleidoscope. The lobster-"
'Mac and cheese! Are you kidding? I can inhale it in one bite. Sometimes my dad would pick it up for me on the way home.”
She cackled. She looked at him lovesick. "How have we never met?"
"What high school did you go to?"
"Hollis. You?"
"Ah, okay. I went to the Day School."
"Ooh, fancy pants."
Blush crept over his face and flustered, he set out his briefcase and took a deep breath. "So you're looking into financial assistance for all three locations?"
She stared at him for a moment, "That's right."
And that was it.
Immediately after Cole left the room, she called you. Her best friend, her confidant, her person. You had your hands busy at work so you tucked the phone between your ear and shoulder, “Hello?"
"[y /n]! Hi, you busy?"
"Uh, a little. But I can chat. What's up?"
"I think I just met my husband."
You paused. "Okay, I'm not busy."
Cole proposed while they were on a hike. A week before, he had asked for your blessing. He said, "You'll be the first one she calls so I just didn't want you to be surprised."
Though, when she facetimed you to show you the diamond rock, you still pretended to be surprised.
A formal ask to be her maid of honor was completely unnecessary. You were born to do it. Who else would it be? Still, she made you the cutest basket, filled with perfume, a travel mug, some candles, some candy. You happily accepted.
And happily planned her engagement party and bridal shower and bachelorette party. You got the dress she wanted you to wear. And when the weekend finally arrived, you traveled nearly an hour into the country to get to the wedding venue.
10 acres of privately owned land sequestered down a dirt road. The ceremony site was a simple platform with an arbor placed in front of rows of benches. Surrounded by trees. Hiding right beside it is a wooden home designated for the newlyweds. The reception site is about a mile away, covered by a tent. There is a garden of roses and daisies. Further down the property is a large barn with rows of tents. It is absolutely everything Cole and Hattie wanted. It is so them.
You help set up for the rehearsal dinner. The parents of the bride and groom have arrived. Your friends and fellow bridesmaids are mingling with the groomsmen. Hattie would be so much more stressed without Opal. Opal is a an older woman, short but strong and a prolific wedding planner. She ushers the men around like pieces on a chess board and directs the caterers without so much as a glance.
As you chat with the happy couple, she calls, "Cole." It's not exactly friendly. She marches up and takes a firm hold of his arm.
"Yes, ma'am?" Cole shakes and Hattie glances over at you with a small smirk. You have to contain your laughter.
"Where is the best man? We are way behind schedule and losing daylight."
"I know. I know. I'm sorry. He had to fly in but last I heard he was on the road from the airport."
"Okay, can I get an ETA on that?"
"I, uh...I don't... have one."
"Babe!" Hattie whines.
"Hey, I'm sorry! Look," he glances at all three of you, intimidated by your pressed faces. "T'll give him a call."
"Wonderful idea," Opal watches closely as he steps away, his phone in his hand, quickly pressed to his ear. She turns away from Hattie, mumbling,
"You update me on that, okay?"
"Yes, Opal," she nods and turns to you with a huff.
You giggle, "Are you sure this guy's real?"
"Oh, I'm sure."
"Okay, well," you throw your hands up in a shrug, "Can't we just start without him? It's hot and we're supposed to be eating already."
"No, we can't. It throws off the flow of the ceremony. Plus, Cole really wants him here."
"Mhm and where is this guy coming from again?"
"Matthew."
"Huh?"
"His name is Matthew."
"Okay. Where is Matthew coming from?"
"New York. I told you he's an actor."
"Yes, yes," you roll your eyes. "Surprised he could find time in his busy schedule to come to his friend's wedding."
"He loves Cole. Cole loves him. More than me, I think. They've known each other forever."
'Mhm. Quick question, does Matthew know Cole's getting married tomorrow?"
She shakes her head and laughs, beaming at Cole as he walks back over. "Hi, baby. Did you talk to him?"
"Uh...no..." he feels bad saying it. "But! I'm sure he'll be here any second."
"Cole!" it's a shriek from the distance that instantly silences the crowd. The crunching of leaves under hurried feet, rustling through the trees, "Cole! I'm here! I'm here!"
"See?" Cole says to Hattie with the brightest smile. "I told you, I told you! Matthew!" he waves.
And out of the trees comes what you can only describe as a colorful slenderman. He's tall and dressed in a sage suit, in accordance with the dress code. He nearly trips coming down the steps but he catches himself, just in time, stumbling over on the tip of his toes. The center of attention, pulling all eyes towards his entrance, which you think would annoy the bride and groom. But no, you look at them and they're just delighted. Grinning ear to ear, Cole's arms outstretched to catch Matthew in a great, big hug.
"Oh, man!" Matthew huffs. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. My flight got delayed and then I couldn't get a rental and then I got lost, I'm so sorry!" he instantly releases Cole to give Hattie a kiss on the cheek and a hug, "I'm so sorry, please don't kick me out of your wedding."
Hattie cackles, “Oh, we could never!”
You watch as his expression transfers from guilt to a sweet smile. You watch him rub your best friend's back and give her one final squeeze before his eyes cut up and accidentally meet your gaze. He couldn't help but wonder where the pretty sandals and pretty dress would lead, but once he sees your face, he can't look away. He stands up tall and takes a small step around Hattie just to get to you. "Hi," he holds out his hand.
"Hi," you smile and your hand fits in his like a glove. You only take a second to memorize the features of his face, the tip of his nose, the stubble on his chin, the light in his eyes. But it feels like an eternity.
Behind him, Hattie and Cole watch the spark catch flame. She nudges his arm and they look at each other with knowing smiles. Cole nods, "Uh, Matthew, this is Hattie's best friend and maid of honor, [y/n]. [y/n], this is my best friend and best man, Matthew."
"ly/n]." Matthew says breathlessly. "Hi."
"Matthew. Hello, nice to meet you."
"Now," he slyly puts his hand over yours to keep it in place. "That is maid of honor, right? Not matron?"
You giggle, "Yes. I'm completely and totally unwed."
"Good, good. Excellent. Love to hear it."
You giggle, again, and it's the most ridiculous sound. Cole and Hattie could not enjoy the show any more. "You two will actually be walking down the aisle together," Hattie says.
"Oh, wow," Matthew exclaims. "Had I known that, I would've been here way sooner."
"So not funny, dude," Cole shakes his head but you think it's hilarious.
"You're laughing?" Opal's voice cuts the laughter short. "The sun is setting, the food is getting cold and you're laughing?"
"Sorry, Opal," Cole frowns. "This is Matthew, the-"
"Matthew, [y/n], I need you two right here," she interrupts and with a hand on Matthew's shoulder, she gently pushes him to the side. She pushes him directly into you and it's almost instinct for his hands to take hold of your waist. Just as much so for your palms to fall on his chest.
"Oh no," he whispers. "This is... terrible."
You laugh and take a step back but he holds onto to your wrist, places your hand around his bicep as he faces forward.
"You feel at home being directed all over the place?" you ask, anxiously straightening out your dress.
"Um, actually I prefer to do the directing."
"Oh, have you considered wedding planning?"
"I offered to plan for these guys but they turned me down. I mean, what the fuck?"
"Well, I think that would've required you to be on time. Early even."
"Oh, then I'm out."
You cackle, a lot louder than you mean to, and once again here's Opal. "You two need to switch sides."
"Hm?"
"Switch."
"Oh."
You feel Matthew's hand linger on your back as you step around him, your hand instantly latching onto his opposite arm.
"We're so good at this," you shrug.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, right? Right? You'd think she'd cut us some slack."
Despite all the fuss leading up to it, the ceremony rehearsal itself is only 10 minutes at most. You and Matthew are the last to make your entrance and it is an odd feeling to separate. He stands on the opposite side of the arbor and as the flower girl practices her walk, he catches your eyes and mouths: miss you.
"Wonderful!" Opal cheers. It's the first time you've seen her smile all night. Once Cole and Hattie have finally taken their places right in the center. "Absolutely wonderful. Now, if everyone will head over to the reception hall for dinner. There is a lukewarm meal awaiting you all," and she cuts her eyes at Matthew.
"Again, Opal, so sorry about that," he shakes his head. You seem to be the only one who finds it funny.
Hattie gives Cole one big kiss and turns to you, "How weird was that? Me walking down the aisle? Did I look stupid?"
You take her hands in yours, shaking your head, "You looked beautiful. It's gonna be beautiful."
She shrieks, a long "eeeek!" of excitement that ripples amongst you and your friends. The group steps down from the platform, followed closely by the groom and his party. Matthew takes the opportunity to grab Cole's arm and whisper, "How long have you known [y/n]?”
"Uh, pretty much as long as I've known my fiancée." he laughs.
"And you were... what? Just hiding her from me? Not cool."
"You were hardly in the proper condition for someone like [y/n]. She's, uh, how do I say? Very grown up. Very focused, like her best friend.”
"And now? What condition am I in now?"
"The kind of condition where...I literally had no choice but to let you meet her?"
"Fuck off," Matthew shoves him and Cole stumbles with a cocky laugh.
"Sooooo," Hattie says as she interlocks your arms. She notices you looking back and she knows exactly who you're looking for. "Little lady?"
"Yes, little miss?"
"What do you think of Matthew?"
Your stomach flips at the sound of his name. "What do you mean?"
"Don't do that."
"What? What are you talking about?"
“This was you the whole rehearsal.." she sticks her finger between her teeth and mocks your giggle, "Tee-hee. Oh, tee-hee-hee-hee.”
"I was not!"
"Oh, but you were. You're quite smitten."
"I am not!"
"He's smitten with you, too."
"Whatever," you roll your eyes. But after a brief pause, you ask, "You think so?"
Clink-clink-clink.
You watch as Hattie rises from her seat, her doting fiancé standing beside her, to give a toast. You look up at her and it's not until this moment that you realize she's getting married. Not when she tried on her dress, not when she did a practice run down the aisle. Here. Now. With Cole's arm around her waist.
"Thank you all so much for being here. We're so grateful to have all our closest friends and family by our sides through this crazy weekend. I know some of you traveled very far and some of you are probably wondering when this whole thing will just be over but," she laughs along with the crowd. "Soon. Very soon. Thank you all for being readers in our little fairytale. Particularly these people sitting up here beside us, I know my friends have gotten an earful about Cole over the years."
"What did she say?" Cole interrupts, jokingly cutting his head towards all of you which earns him a burst of laughter.
"Seriously. Thank you all. Tomorrow wouldn't be possible without you and we can't imagine any other way. So…" she raises her glass glass and, because she's the bride and everyone must obey, everyone raises theirs as well. She looks Cole right in the eye and gives him that same lovesick smile she gave them the day they met. You glance away for only a moment and Matthew is looking at you the same way.
You tilt your head at him, furrow your eyebrows.
"To you," Hattie says. "To me. To us. Cheers."
"Cheers!" you toast, looking directly at Matthew who raises his glass to you, you alone, before taking a sip.
At the end of the night, the bride and groom are meant to retire to their respective areas. Cole and his groomsmen have a cabin on the other side of the property. Hattie and the girls have reign of the barn and an array of tents just in case they're feeling particularly outdoorsy. Yet, when the time comes, you and your friends sit on the barn's porch and watch Hattie and Cole embrace each other for a long time.
"I change my mind," she tells him. "We should just spend the night together. Let's go to our tree house."
He giggles and gives her a gentle kiss, "Ah, you just wanna get in my pants."
"So?"
A cackle now, "Goodnight, future wife. I love you."
"Noooo!"
"I love you!"
"I love you!"
Hattie waits until he's out of sight, and even then, she stands there and wishes for him to come back.
"H! Come on, honey," your friend calls to her. "It's late. Big day tomorrow!"
So she reluctantly walks up the stairs and begins the process of unwinding. It's not easy. Every second something pops into her mind and she hops up, ready to spring into action. It's a group effort to reel her in. Eventually, it's just you and her, lying in a cozy bed and she can barely keep her eyes open. She's trying though.
"Okay," you sigh. "I should probably get going. You gonna be alright?"
She nods, "I'm getting married..."
You grin, "Yes, ma'am. You are. So you need to get some rest," you kiss her forehead and rise out of bed, groaning as you straighten yourself up. "You need anything?”
"Mm-mm," she shakes her head. "I'm okay. See you in the morning."
"See you in the morning."
You're one of the few who chose to rough it in a tent for the night. There's a small heater and a platform bed. It's not a whole lot but the bedding is comfortable. You snuggle in and despite all your exhaustion, you spend the next chunk of time scrolling on your phone. When you hear a faint knock on the scaffolding of your tent, you’re suddenly hyperaware of the fact that you're in the middle of the woods. Alone. Quite a distance between you and the next tent. You sit up slowly, unsure if your mind is playing tricks on you. You take timid steps towards the opening and flinch as a shadow passes by.
You hesitantly pull down the zipper and when you see Matthew wondering around, you breathe a sigh of relief. “Fuck, dude. You scared the crap out of me."
"I'm so sorry," he instantly returns and lowers himself down to your level. "I didn't mean to."
"Um..you do know this is the bridal side of the property, right?"
"Mhm. I was looking for you."
"Me?"
"Mhm. Wanna go for a walk?"
"A walk?"
"Yeah, with me?"
"With you?"
"Okay, just assume I mean everything I say from now on."
You giggle, "I just met you a few hours ago...you want me to walk some random trail with you in the middle of the night?"
"All true, yes."
You tilt your head at him, "Fine. Okay."
"Don't sound too excited."
You turn around briefly to grab a hoodie. You throw it on and step out of the opening, taking Matthew's hand as you step off the platform. He takes your hand and he doesn't let go. He'd hate to lose you in the dark.
“So,” he says as you start down the trail. Your face is gently illuminated by the lights along the pathway and he can’t stop staring. “How do you know Hattie?”
“Technically high school, but I think we were separated at birth.”
He chuckles, “Best friends, huh?”
“Oh, best friends. Went to college together, too. Lived together for a while, didn’t kill each other.”
“That’s rare.”
“I know. I don’t see her nearly as often as I’d like but that’s my girl. How do you know Cole?”
“Drama camp.”
You stop in your tracks, stop both of you in your tracks. Still, Matthew doesn’t let go of your hand. “Drama camp?”
“Yes? You didn’t know Cole was a theater kid?”
You continue walking but your face is absolutely flabbergasted. “Cole? Finance bro Cole? A theatre kid? You’re fucking with me.”
“Oh, I am not. He was quite good actually,” he laughs. “He could’ve been a star.”
“Wow…” you shake your head. “Wow. You think you know someone.”
“And then you find out he was in a summer production of Fiddler on the Roof.”
You stop again. You feel like you could fall to your knees. “Matthew. Please. Please tell me there are pictures.”
“My mom recorded the whole thing, there’s a cassette tape somewhere.”
“Oh my god!” you cackle. “You’ll have to show me.”
“Fly out to Vegas with me at the end of the weekend. I’ll show you all the good stuff.”
“Oh. You’re planning on taking me to your hometown already? To meet your mom and everything?”
“You can meet my mom, you can meet my dad, you can meet my stepparents, you can meet my sister, my brother, her husband, his wife, my nephews.”
“Woah!”
“Oh, they’d love you.”
“I just wanna see Fiddler on the Roof!”
You’re not sure how long you stay out with him. The trail lights make it seem like no time has passed at all. You fill the air with so much chatter that it’s a shock when you loop around to the barn. As you near your tent, Matthew’s steps grow smaller. Slower, following close behind you with your hand still tight in his.
“Well,” he sighs. “Thank you for accompanying me. I was scared to walk alone.”
“Oh, is that why you invited me?”
“I just thought I’d get lost by myself. Needed backup.”
“Mhm,” you nod. “You do seem quite helpless.”
“You have no idea.”
You giggle and as you step up to your tent, you’re not ready to go inside just yet. So you turn to him and he is dangerously close to you. You can feel the heat radiating from his chest.
“Well, I had a nice time,” you smile. “Thank you.”
“Thank you.”
It’s going to happen. You raise yourself on your toes. He takes a firm hold of your forearms. His nose touches yours. Then you hear the sharp sound of a zipper slashing open. You both flinch and look over to see your friend, poking her head of wild hair out the opening of her tent.
You bashfully step away from Matthew, crossing your arms. “Hi, Gina.”
Gina squints, yawning, “[y/n]?” She rubs her tired eyes and looks at you. Then at Matthew. Then you. Then Matthew. “Uh…what the hell are you two doing?” she smirks.
“Nothing,” you tell her. “Go back to sleep.”
She looks at you. Then Matthew. Then you. You. And she ducks her head back in.
You chuckle shyly and shake your head. Moment’s gone but he still looks pretty under the moonlight.
“It’s late,” you whisper. “I need my beauty sleep.”
He scoffs, “To get even more beautiful?” he shakes his head jokingly as he backs away. “[y/n], that’s just greedy.”
You laugh, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Oh, yes. You will,” he waves as he walks away. Blowing you a kiss, “Goodnight, [y/n].”
You wait until he's out of sight, and even then, you stand there and wish for him to come back.
“Ahhhh!” Hattie screams once you rise in the morning. You step into the barn, groggy and sluggish, but when you see her rushing towards you, you can’t help but smile. “Hi! Good morning!”
“Good morning, beautiful bride!” you give her a tight hug.
“We’re having a little breakfast. Here’s your mimosa.”
You glance down at the glass, taking it from her hesitantly, “It’s eight in the morning?”
“Hey, everyone has to do what I say today!”
“Okay, okay,” you take a quick sip and she beams, sitting down beside you at the table.
You fill your plate with food and seamlessly fall in conversation. None of it about the wedding, ironically. You have the rest of the day for that. Right now, in this moment, it’s gossip. It’s silly. It’s so relaxing that you don’t even realized you’ve finished your mimosa.
“I thought it was pretty cozy,” Gina shrugs. “Not sure what [y/n] thinks but then again she was out with Matthew all night.”
There is an immediate halt. Forks hitting the plate, a stunned silence falling over the room and all eyes on you.
“You were?” Hattie gasps.
You stutter, “It…wasn’t…all night. We-we just went for a walk.”
“Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?” a friend chimes in.
“We went for an actual walk!” you exclaim. “It was nothing.”
“Ohhhh, yeah,” Gina laughs. “It sure looked like nothing when I caught you two making out.”
Instant gasps.
“We did not make out!” you insist. “We didn’t even kiss!”
“H, how do u feel about making this wedding a joint thing?”
You look down, picking at your food as your face burns red and Hattie is just grinning at you.
Across the way, Cole receives a text from his bride, saying: Ask your friend wtf he was doing last night
Cole raises his eyebrows and spots Matthew shaving in the bathroom mirror. He slyly walks in and crosses his arms. He tries his best to be nonchalant, leaning back against the wall, eyeing Matthew in the mirror, “So. You have a good night?”
Matthew furrows his brows at him, “Yeah? Bed was comfortable.”
“Mhm. And…you didn’t…didn’t sneak off anywhere?”
Matthew completely turns his body around, “You and the wife talking about me?”
“My wife and her wife are talking about you, I think.”
He can’t help but smile to himself, “Well…cool…”
Cole laughs, “What’s the plan here, dude?”
“The plan is…to see [y/n] again as soon as humanly possible.”
Cole shakes his head, breaking a smile, “You do know that this is my wedding, right?”
Matthew laughs as he pats his face clean, “Yeah but…I don’t know, I was kinda thinking we could make it a joint thing?”
Once everyone’s hair and makeup is done, it’s silly to you that you have to pretend to do it all for photos. The makeup artist holds her brush to your full glam face just so the photographer can take a shot and it takes everything in you not to laugh. But it’s what the bride wants. You and the girls get into your dresses. You twirl and giggle like a game of dress up. Until Opal announces Hattie’s entrance. Then suddenly it’s very real.
Hattie walks downstairs in her gown, a ballgown specifically. Poofy, but not too big, a corset holding up her breasts, a diamond necklace on her chest to match her earrings. Her hair is put up and curled. Her makeup is done to perfection.
Oh. She is just perfect.
It moves everyone to a fit of squeals but you clasp your hands over your mouth and just stare at her. You go to wipe the tears from your eyes but remember your makeup so you fan your face. She laughs as she walks directly to you and takes you a tight hug. The photographer captures your sobbing face in all it’s glory. Hattie will frame that one for sure.
When Hattie’s dad comes around to escort her to the ceremony site, you take her hands in yours.
“It’s not too late,” you tell her. “We can still run.”
She laughs. “You know…I thought I might for a second there but…nah, I don’t wanna. I wanna marry him.”
You have to shake your head to keep from crying, “Okay. Okay, then let’s get you fucking hitched.”
Guest have arrived. Each chair is full and the forest around them is positively buzzing with excitement. The florals accentuate the atmosphere beautifully and now all that’s missing is the blushing bride.
You walk down the pathway with your friends, each of you holding up your dresses to protect them from the dirt. Your dress is by far the shiniest. Though all of yours are a variation of green patterns, yours is solid and laced with golden glitter tulle. The maid of honor must stand out. Matthew catches sight of you immediately but not just because you’re the maid of honor, not just because you’re shiny. But because it’s you.
And you look amazing.
It’s like everyone and everything around you fades away. Like he’s watching you walk towards him in slow motion. Your hair flowing in the wind, your lips stretching out into a smile just for him. When you step up to him, he has to take a moment because you just smell so good.
“Wowww,” he breathes out. “Look at you.”
You blush, “Look at me? Look at you!” you don’t even think about it, you just touch his clean shaven face. Run your knuckles over the smooth skin and he revels in it, closing his eyes for just a second. “You clean up nice.”
“Thank you. I only do it when absolutely necessary.”
You laugh and lean into him a bit, totally fixated until you notice the other bridesmaids watching you both from the sidelines. You cut your eyes at them and take a step back. You’re grateful when Opal comes in with her iron fist, arranging you all in order and demanding you stay there.
The music starts, you take a deep breath. You gave Matthew’s arm a squeeze, “You remember anything from rehearsal?”
“Nope, not at all. Just winging it.”
There is not much to say about the ceremony itself except that everyone - everyone - is in tears by the end. It is only thirty minutes but after it all, Cole and Hattie are married and nothing has ever felt so right.
Matthew links your arms as you make your exit behind the newlyweds and you can help but laugh at the tears staining his cheeks. You grin as you wipe them away with your thumb.
Pictures.
So many fucking pictures. So many poses. So many arrangements. So many beautiful backdrops to stand in front of and smile and live in awe of the bride and groom. Eventually, Cole and Hattie go off to take their own portraits and unsurprisingly, you wind up eating a plate of hors d'oeuvres with Matthew.
“You know her?” he asks you, nodding his head towards a guest who stays seated, fanning herself with her wedding program.
“Yeah, that’s Mia. We went to college with her.”
“It’s, like, not that hot out here, right? Am I crazy?”
“Asshole,” you swat his arm. “She’s pregnant.”
“Oh…oh. Oh, she is?”
“Yes!” you giggle. “You just can’t tell because she chose the poofiest dress to wear today.”
“Oopsie,” he cringes. “Hey, is that something you might consider?”
“Hm?”
“Getting pregnant?”
You nearly choke on your bite of food but promptly clear your throat, “What the fuck? Is that a threat?”
“No. No, it’s an offer,” he grins.
You shake your head at him, ducking your hesd down so he can’t see your heated face. Your smile. “You have your speech prepared?" you ask him.
"Speech?"
"Uh, yeah. Your best man speech?"
"I was supposed to write a speech?" he exclaims.
Your jaw drops in shock and horror and you're dangerously close to scolding him until you see a smirk form on his face.
'That's not funny!"
"Of course I have a speech. You think I'm nuts?"
"Yes!"
"I have a speech prepared that is going to bring absolutely everyone in attendance to tears. They might as well go ahead and pass out the tissues now."
"Oh, real confident there, huh?"
"My speech is gonna kick your speech's ass."
You cackle, "It's not a contest, you freak. We're declaring our love for our best friends and their new spouse!"
"Sounds like you're nervous. Sounds like you can't take the heat."
"What heat? You know what? I'm not doing this with you. I'm gonna deliver my speech and as long as Hattie loves it, I'm content."
He nods, “…bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk."
"Stop it!"
"[y/n]!” you hear from behind you and you whip your head around. Hattie is running up to you, dress lifted, feet fast. "[y/n]!"
You run right to her, catching her in your arms as you collide, "What? What is it? What's wrong? What are you doing? You're supposed to be getting ready for your grand entrance!"
She huffs, catching her breath, "I know. I will. I am, whew..." she catches her breath. "I just had to tell you," she pants. "I just got fucked in my wedding dress!"
"Oh!" you cover your mouth to conceal your burst of laughter. "Oh my god! I thought this was a classy party!"
"Well, we wrote it into the schedule. We even finished with three minutes to spare. Both of us!"
"Oh my god!" you repeat, hunching over in laughter as she runs off.
You and Matthew hadn’t prepared anything especially elaborate for your reception entrance. But the DJ makes the best man and maid of honor sound like such a big deal that you have to do something. Anything. And utimately, he just ends up twirling you around in front of him. Your dress flows through the air, this wide smile on your face and he so casually wraps his arms around you to prevent you from tripping in your heels.
Seriously. Could you two make it any more obvious?
Cole and Hattie are greeted with an uproar of applause and cheers, the photographer right in their faces, an outpour of love coming from all around them. You clap your hands incessantly and right in your ear is Matthew cheering, his hands on your waist, your back against his chest like it’s no big deal.
You sit down to eat with your friends and it’s one big round table of alcohol, gushing, yelling and laughter. Matthew’s called up to give his speech and he makes sure to walk by you on his way up. “Watch and learn,” he whispers.
You shake your head, roll your eyes, but you’re watching him. You’re watching the way he instantly takes control of the room and radiates this light under the night sky. You’ve got to give it to him. It’s a good speech. From beginning to end, it’s captivating. The emotional cadence in his voice ripples across the room and there is actually, literally a box of tissues being passed around.
He’s applauded by every guest and he immediately runs up to Cole and Hattie to give them a tight hug. He walks over to you and holds the microphone out for you, “Beat that.”
You eye him as he walks off and the giddy smile on your face quickly disappears when you make eye contact with Gina. She pinches her fingers and knocks her hands together, puckering her lips and making kissing sounds.
“Stop it,” you whisper.
You’re not as used to the spotlight as Matthew so when you stand up in front of everyone, you freeze for a moment. You struggle to get the words out. It’s not a contest, but you’re already losing. So you look at Hattie, the one person you are doing all of this for. It makes it a lot easier to just, speak your truth, “Hi. I’m [y/n] and Hattie is my very best friend.”
Hattie’s a mess instantly.
That’s the fun part about being the bride’s best friend. You know all the best parts of her relationship. You also know all the worst parts but those don’t need to be spoken today. You know how it’s made her happier, stronger, glow in a way she never thought possible. You know better than anyone that this is where she’s meant to be and who she’s meant to be here with.
She can hardly wait one second after you finish to run up to you and give you a big hug. She squeezes you so tightly that you think she’ll never, ever let you go. You escort her back to the sweethearts table and throw a smug look towards Matthew’s way. He puts his hands up in surrender. You win.
After a while, when the grandparents and kids have left and the hour for the fun adults has arrived, you’re just buzzed enough to dance. And you do. You let Hattie shake her ass on you a bit and for a while, you’re just girls again. No one’s wife, no one’s employee. Just girls. It wears you. You take a seat just to down the rest of your wine and catch your breath.
“You all danced out?” Matthew asks as he approaches you. He holds out his hand, “Or you got one more left in you?”
You tilt your head, drunkenly smirking at him, “I think I can squeeze you in.”
“Yeah?” he pulls you to your feet and into his arms. “Squeeze me into where?”
You giggle. You shamelessly fall into his chest, “Take me to the dancefloor.”
He does, he lead you right to the center. He puts his hands on the small of your back and cradles your hand against his chest. He breathes in the scent of your hair and sighs.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do once I have to part from you tomorrow.”
“Just put me in your pocket,” you whisper. “Take me to the big city.”
He chuckles, pulls you closer, putting your bodies flush together. “I will, in a heartbeat. Just say the word.”
You grin. You stare into those beautiful eyes of his and inhale the center of his chest and exhale with a soft hum, “The word.”
He smiles. You smile. You take a look around and then you two make your exit.
Off to the side, the bride and groom are slow dancing. The rest of the world has faded away. Though their feet are a bit uncoordinated, everything feels properly in place.
“Sooo,” Hattie puts her nose to his. “You’re thinking the same thing I am, right?”
“Thaaaat we have three more minutes of fun time? You wanna go now?”
She cackles, “No! About Matthew and [y/n].”
“Ohhh, right. Them. You were right. I owe you five bucks.”
“Mhm. For the rest of your life.”
He smiles softly, rubbing her back. He looks around the area and furrows his eyebrows, “Where…are Matthew and [y/n]?”
Hattie giggles, singing, “I know where they are.”
“No…” Cole gasps. “No…you think?”
She shakes her head at him. Sweet, dumb Cole. “Oh you are just so cute!” she kisses his nose.
In the solitude of your tent, Matthew stands behind you and slowly unzips your dress. He plants soft kisses on each spot of your skin as it’s revealed and you hum under your breath at the gentle contact. His hands latch onto the thin straps and pull them over your shoulders. He kisses your neck and runs his hands over your chest as he pushes the dress down your body. All that’s left of you is a strapless bra and seamless panties that he sticks his hands in. You step out of them and turn to face him.
You touch his face and look at him with these hooded eyes, smiling softly as you push his jacket off of his shoulders. You undo the buttons on his shirt and touch all over his exposed chest. He nuzzles his nose into yours as you take off his pants and he falls back on the tiny bed, letting you pull them off his legs.
He stretches out his legs but his feet hang off the edge so he bends his knees, “I don’t think I fit,” he chuckles.
You grin as you casually straddle his lap, running your hands over his arms. “We’ll just have to make you fit,” you whisper.
He gives you the faintest little whimper, leaning in to you with his mouth open. And just like you had meant to last night, finally, you kiss him. You kiss him. You touch his tongue to yours and place your hand on his throat, engulfing his entire mouth in yours. Both of you release these deep, guttural moans and Matthew gasps as you roll your hips on him.
He grips onto your waist, readjusts to get the right angle and you can feel him getting hard between your legs. It's almost juvenile, the way you both get so hot from dry humping. The way your mouths are so hungry that there's no coordination.
There's moments where you go in for his lips and catch his cheek instead and he pushes his face into yours so quickly that he only catches your bottom lip. He goes to grab your hair to keep you in place but he doesn't want to mess it up so he holds the back of your neck. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, take a tight grip of his hair and lean your entire body on his. There, the friction is perfect and you moan directly into his mouth.
Matthew shifts his focus to your jaw, gently nibbling on the skin from your ear to your neck as he unhooks your bra. You whine quietly, rocking your hips against him and leaning your head back to expose your throat. He wants to fucking bite you. He has the quickest impulse to sink his teeth into you but he doesn’t want to leave a mark so his hands land harshly on your ass as he groans in your ear. You gasp, your back arching and you think: fuck this.
You put your hand on his chest and push him back on the bed. He lets you but he whimpers. He wants to be kissing you. Needs to be kissing you. He looks up at you with wide eyes, his jaw dropping when you free his cock from his briefs. He licks his lips, nodding, begging, “Mm…mhm, mhm, mhm, mhm.”
You giggle at him, but that giggle is cut quickly by the ease in which his cock slides into you. You both gasp and he catches you as you fall into his arms. You feel just as good as he thought you would. Better. Even better. You watch his eyes roll to the back of his head and you try to kiss but your mouth are wide open. It’s mainly just heaving breathing and teeth on teeth.
He takes full advantage of the angle in his knees, keeps his hands on your ass to spread you open and push all the way into you. He likes the sound you make so he does it again. Again. Pulling all the way, pushing all the way in. Again, a little deeper. Again, a little harder. Harder and harder until you’re squeaking against each other’s lips uncontrollably, the one thing that’s louder than the sound of his skin slapping into yours.
He looks into your hooded eyes and begs, “Kiss me.”
So you do. You kiss him with a sloppy mouth and once again, there’s no coordination. You’re rocking around the tiny bed so carelessly that it might break. But even then, you wouldn’t stop. It’s hard to breathe. It’s hard to think. You just push yourself back on his cock, meeting him at just the right time that you’re entire body twitches violently.
“N-not…fuck…” you stutter against his lips. “Not…gonna…last…long…like this…mm, fuck.”
And he grins, delighted at the thought of getting you off. So quickly, so easily. Still, he pleads, “Oh…” he bucks his hips up into you. “Can’t we just…m-make it last forever? P-please…please, please, please…”
You shut him up with another kiss. You grab onto his hair and grind on him eagerly, chasing your high for what feels exactly like forever. The way the tension builds first in your thighs and then your belly and radiates throughout your entire body, you can hardly comprehend it. You tighten your grip on his hair and breathe out, “Matthew.”
“[y/n],” he breathes out and it sounds so helpless that you can only reply with a whimper. You increase your speed, your rhythm becomes sloppy but Matthew is rock solid. He cups your face in his hands and repeats, “[y/n].”
“O-oh, fuck. Oh…god…” you latch onto his wrists. You can’t take it anymore, “Mm…” and you come on his cock with a loud and visceral moan straight from the back of your throat. The way your pussy tightens around him has him matching your volume and the kiss you give him is so dirty that he will taste it for weeks.
He doesn’t stop. He fucks you through it until your body is all but convulsing. He only stops to prevent himself from coming inside of you, instead raising your hips to shoot his load all over his stomach. His knees tense up and tighten against you as the weakest groans escape his lips. You hum softly to yourself and you lower yourself down the mattress, licking the mess off his stomach as you make your way back to his lips. He’s stunned but rewards you with a kiss. He wishes the kiss could last forever. He tries his best to make it so.
But you crash on his chest, panting loudly and allowing your body to finally relax. Your head rises and falls with every heavy breath he takes.
“Let’s get married,” he huffs and you laugh, sitting up to look at him. “No?”
“Mm-mm,” you shake your head.
“Ugh…worth a shot.”
It’s so peaceful. A calm after a storm - a hurricane. Until your phone illuminates the dark space and you reach over his body to check the text. It’s from Hattie -
As soon as youre both done, my husband and i would like to make our outro! :)
“Oh, shit!” you exclaim and that’s all Matthew needs to hear.
You both hop up at lightening speed. You somehow get dressed even quicker. You rush out of the tent, nearly tripping over your feet, hand in hand.
“Wait,” Matthew says and when you pause to look at him, he fixes the clip in your hair and then he gives you a kiss. You look back at him with a smile as you run back to the reception.
You catch Hattie and Cole just in time. They are already lined up and ready to go when you two reappear. Matthew grabs Cole’s shoulder and laments, “Sorry about that, dude. I-I got caught up. Sorry.”
“Oh yeah,” Cole smirks as he keeps walking. “I can tell. Your jacket’s on inside out.”
After Matthew remedies that, you two casually clap and cheer as the newlyweds walk through the crowd of excitement. They promptly load themselves up on a golf cart and you watch them disappear into the night.
Matthew sighs, turning to you, “So…I guess our jobs are done for the night.”
You sigh in return, shrugging, “I guess so.”
“You gonna be lonely in that tent tonight?”
“God...” you shake your head. “I hope not.”
And that night, you are far, far from lonely in that tent.
You wake up together. Matthew made himself fit in that bed once again. You get dressed together. You both clean up the tent and step out together. And once again, there’s Gina, catching you in the act. She doesn’t say anything. But when she walks past you two, the tiny smile on her face says it all.
Back at the reception site, Hattie and Cole serve a light breakfast and deliver a toast that is short and sweet. Blah blah blah, thank you all for coming. Blah blah blah, we love you so much. Blah blah blah, we have a plane to Cabo to catch. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!
They go around to say their goodbyes and while Cole is distracted, Hattie intentionally saves you for last. She gives you a long hug, “Missed you last night.”
“Yeah, uh…” you blush. “I am so sorry about that.”
“Oh no, don’t be,” she gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. “It all went according to plan.”
“To-“ you stutter. “Hattie Jane Welsh…”
“Aht-aht!” she grins as she walks away from you to join her husband. She flashes her rings, “Hattie Jane Briggs. I already changed it on instagram and facebook!”
You jaw is dropped in absolute shock and you can’t pick it up. In fact, your mouth is still wide open when Matthew approaches you.
“So, pretty lady, what are you doing after this?” he asks.
“Got a train to catch back home.”
“Oh, a train? How far is the drive?”
“About an hour.”
“I have an hour…” he says. “And a rental car.”
A sweet smile spreads across your face. He mirrors it right back to you. You take hold of your suitcase, step over to him, stand straight up and wrap your hand around his bicep. You’ve had a lot of practice.
“Okay,” you nod. “Let’s go.”
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martiniluvr · 9 months ago
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I need Dick Grayson with a breeding kink so bad. Hed see you with some kids at some wayne family event and the moment your hone hes jumping you. Whimpering about how bad he needs to fill you up 🙏🙏
started levitating and speaking in tongues when I read this…..it’s like ur inside my head🧎🏽‍♀️
holy spirit took over so it’s longer than anticipated oops hope y’all enjoy 🫶
18+ minors dni
warnings: breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, dick grayson going feral
★・・・★・・・★・・・★
you and dick grayson had just attended a wayne foundation fundraiser for the development of a local school, where he had witnessed for the first time how you interact with children. he watched as you chatted with the little guests of honour and laughed at their silly jokes, and how one of the smallest girls in the group shyly approached you to ask about your princess dress, as she called it. you engaged with each of the kids so naturally that his mind instinctively wandered to what it would be like to see you with his children someday.
he brought the idea up on the car ride home to gauge your reaction. “I mean, think about it,” he said. “a mini-me. or a mini-you—teaching them to ride a bike, or something. going to recitals. I don’t know.” a fond smile ghosted over him.
you laughed, surprised by his words. “that’s sweet, grayson,” you said. “I think you’d make a great dad.” he glanced at you expectantly.
“but…?”
“but,” you continued, “we’d have to make the kids first, you know. it takes time.” hearing that made him pause for a moment.
“oh, yeah. right,” he murmured. he hadn’t thought about that part—the process of getting you pregnant. you didn’t notice the way his jaw tensed, or how his knuckles whitened around the the steering wheel, or even the sudden tightness in his suit pants. the engine roared as he sped up, his sole focus on getting you home.
★・・・★・・・★・・・★
you can barely recall what happened between him parking the car and you ending up on his bed. all you know is that your gala clothes are strewn across the floor, your legs are being pressed open against you, and dick’s starving mouth is on your soaking pussy, sucking desperately. his ministrations are impatient and disorganised, not at all like the dick you’re used to. what’s gotten into him?
beneath him, his cock aches as he ruts against the mattress, precum leaking onto his stomach. he’s already worked you to two generous orgasms despite his state of desperation. unable to wait any longer, he crawls his way back up your body until his cock is flush against your wet folds, his strong hands keeping your thighs wide open and pressed back so he has a full view of your sex.
your jaw falls slack as he gradually plunges into you until his length disappears in your walls. he’s deeper than usual, and your hand lurches to push him back. he intercepts your wrist instantly, pinning it down next to you.
“c’mon, baby, you can take it,” he coos hoarsely, his breathing ragged as his eyes travel your body. “feel that, baby. feel how deep I’m going. it’s intense, huh?” he leans down closer to you, pressing his body onto the back of your thighs as he fucks you slowly. “try to relax, pretty girl. this is the best way for me to fill you up, okay?” realisation hits you as he says the words. so that’s what this is about.
his thrusts speed up, and he feels you tighten with each intrusion. “fuck…you trying to squeeze it out of me? that’s how bad you want it, huh?” his smirk is arrogant, but it wavers as your walls spasm around him again, a lewd whine slipping through your lips. dick watches as your needy pussy grips his length and pulls him back in, practically begging to be filled. his moans grow louder as he drills into you, the pressure in his lower abdomen building quickly.
you’re taken by the primal way he’s is fucking you tonight. you’ve never experienced this side of him—messy, greedy, filthy—and it’s truly a sight to behold. the way his sweat-sheened muscles strain with each thrust sends another rush of wetness through you, and you feel it pooling around dick’s length.
“I wanna fuck a baby into you, pretty girl,” he keens, more to himself than to you; “wanna see you take it all.” his eyes screw shut in pleasure, feeling the way your walls contract around him; you’re almost delirious from the sensation of him pounding into you, and it’s driving him over the edge. his breathing is irregular when he speaks; “I’m gonna fill this little pussy up—that’s what you want, huh, baby? you want me to cum inside you?”
“yeah—yes,” you gasp, your voice barely above a squeak, “cum inside me, dick, please!”
as you say the words, you feel his cock twitch, and his strokes grow sloppy; he whines into you when he climaxes, burying his face into the crook of your neck as his hips buck. you hear him moan your name as he finishes, and his movements slowly come to a halt. breathlessly, you hold him in place, your arms clinging to his shoulders in an attempt to preserve the feeling of him buried inside you like this, with his breath fanning across your neck.
after a moment, dick sits back up and pulls out of you slowly, his length ringed in both your fluids. his face is frozen in admiration as he watches his load dripping out of you and sliding down your ass. he reaches down and smears the liquid over your folds before pushing it back into your sensitive entrance with his thumb, not intending to waste a drop.
“fuck…you take it so well, baby,” he breathes as he leans back down to kiss you feverishly. he then holds his thumb to your mouth, and you suck it clean, staring up into his blue eyes through your lashes. a loving expression settles on his features as he runs the pad of his thumb along your jaw, and your belly tenses at the feeling of him still dripping out of you while your legs relax by his sides.
“y’know,” he says after a beat, a teasing smile on his lips. “I hear it takes a while for this kind of thing to stick. we’re probably gonna have to do this a few more times.”
“alright, grayson,” you laugh, your fingers absently running through his hair. “but you’re washing the sheets.” he cracks a playful grin and rests his forehead against yours.
“deal,” he murmurs, kissing you again.
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summercomfort · 11 months ago
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in my pursuit of ever-increasingly niche comics, I drew a 13 page comic about Tape v Hurley, a court case about Chinese-American school segregation in 1885. The rest of the pages are after the readmore, as well as on AO3 here. More obsure Chinese American court case comics are there, as well.
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Historical Notes
Mary and Joseph Tape were not born in America, but their names and identities were very much formed in America. Joseph Tape was born Jeu Dip in Guangdong, China, immigrated the America when he was twelve, and spent his teenage years working as a house servant in an Irish household. Mary arrived in America at the age of eleven, and was found and raised as Mary McGladery in a Protestant orphanage as the only Chinese child amongst ~80 children. Both Mary and Jeu spent their formative years amongst White Christian families, so when Jeu Dip and Mary married in 1875, little wonder that Jeu picked the English name of Joseph Tape -- Joseph to match with Mary, and the German last name Tape as a nod to his former name of Dip.
The Tape family lived about 14 blocks outside of Chinatown, in a primarily white neighborhood. They dressed in Western clothing, spoke English at home, and Mamie grew up playing with non-Chinese kids. Naturally, they wanted their children to attend the local elementary school, a mere 3 blocks from their home. The principal, Ms. Hurley, denied her entrance, claiming that she was “filthy and diseased.” At the time, there was no public school option for Chinese children -- the 1870 state law stipulated separate schools for “African and Indian children” only, not Chinese. The Tape family, with the help of the Chinese Six Companies, their church, and the Chinese consulate, decided to sue, claiming that the 1880 California school code guaranteed everyone a right to public education and that this was a violation of the 14th Amendment.
They won.
But this was 1885, three years after the passage of the Chinese Exclusion Act and six years before Plessy v Ferguson. Regardless of what the California Supreme Court might decide, public sentiment was on the side of the San Francisco school district. Determined to keep out this “invasion of Mongol barbarism”, the California State Legislature passed a law permitting separate schools for Chinese children, which then allowed Principal Hurley to reject Mamie Tape once more.
While Mamie was rejected from the Spring Valley Elementary School for being Chinese, she also had a hard time fitting in to the Chinese public school. The Chinese merchants saw Western education as something primarily for boys. (Their girl children learned from their mothers at home.) Mamie, a girl dressed in Western clothes, would have stood out like a sore thumb. The final panel of the comic was based on a photo from three years later, and even then, Mamie was the only girl.
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Places where I fudged the history: Frank, Mamie’s younger brother, was actually six years old and should have been more present in the comic, but I wante to keep the focus on Mamie and Mary. Also, Mamie had actually shown up to her first day of school in Western clothes. An earlier draft of the comic had a separate arc involving Mamie feeling rejected at school and Mary buying her some Chinese clothes, but that got too long and complicated.
Much of this was drawn from Mae Ngai’s book about the Tape family and their experiences as 2nd and 3rd generation Chinese Americans, titled “The Lucky Ones.”
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Here is Mary Tape's letter to the San Francisco School Board, 1885:
1769 Green Street. San Francisco, April 8, 1885. To the Board of Education - Dear Sirs: I see that you are going to make all sorts of excuses to keep my child out off the Public schools. Dear sirs, Will you please to tell me! Is it a disgrace to be Born a Chinese? Didn’t God make us all!!! What right have you to bar my children out of the school because she is a chinese Decend. They is no other worldly reason that you could keep her out, except that. I suppose, you all goes to churches on Sundays! Do you call that a Christian act to compell my little children to go so far to a school that is made in purpose for them. My children don’t dress like the other Chinese. They look just as phunny amongst them as the Chinese dress in Chinese look amongst you Caucasians. Besides, if I had any wish to send them to a chinese school I could have sent them two years ago without going to all this trouble. You have expended a lot of the Public money foolishly, all because ofa one poor little Child. Her playmates is all Caucasians ever since she could toddle around. If she is good enough to play with them! Then is she not good enough to be in the same room and studie with them? You had better come and see for yourselves. See if the Tape’s is not same as other Caucasians, except in features. It seems no matter how a Chinese may live and dress so long as you know they Chinese. Then they are hated as one. There is not any right or justice for them. You have seen my husband and child. You told him it wasn’t Mamie Tape you object to. If it were not Mamie Tape you object to, then why didn’t you let her attend the school nearest her home! Instead of first making one pre tense Then another pretense of some kind to keep her out? It seems to me Mr. Moulder has a grudge against this Eight-year-old Mamie Tape. I know they is no other child I mean Chinese child! care to go to your public Chinese school. May you Mr. Moulder, never be persecuted like the way you have persecuted little Mamie Tape. Mamie Tape will never attend any of the Chinese schools of your making! Never!!! I will let the world see sir What justice there is When it is govern by the Race prejudice men! Just because she is of the Chinese decend, not because she don’t dress like you because she does. Just because she is descended of Chinese parents I guess she is more of a American then a good many of you that is going to prewent her being Educated. Mrs. M. Tape
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rafesaddiction · 1 year ago
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It's not cheating when he's your stepbrother – Rafe Cameron x Reader
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Summary: You lie about your first kiss. Will you lie about your first time too?
You are Rafe's stepsister, just graduated from boarding school and here for the summer holidays before you'll leave for college. You and Rafe used to be close, but that changed, years ago. Now he is distant and mean, and something else happens when you have your first boyfriend. A nice guy, a sweet guy, nothing like Rafe.
Concept: stepsiblings, first time, just the tip
Warnings: mdni! – smut, noncon/dubcon, rough sex, p in v, loss of virginity (virgin!reader), fingering, stepcest, violence, slapping, manhandling, mentions of child abuse (ward physically and emotionally abusing rafe), cheating (reader cheating on boyfriend), name calling (rafe calls reader slut and whore), angst, dark!rafe, mean!rafe, this starts off kinda sweet but gets quite dark.
When reading this, please do so at your own discretion. Keep in mind, this is just a work of fiction.
Word count: 9.0k (holy fuck! how did that happen?)
tagging @ashy-kit since you asked. I hope you'll like this.
“Wait! Was that actually your first kiss? Oh my god! It was!”
Sarah stared at you with large eyes, then covered her mouth, laughing. You just smiled, shrugged, and averted your gaze, feeling heat in your cheeks. It was a bit embarrassing that your younger stepsister had more experience with boys than you did. The reason for that might have been that you had gone to an all-girls boarding school practically your whole life. But truth was, if anything, away from parents, kids had even more opportunities at boarding school to gain sexual experience, be it with other students, local boys, or even teachers. You knew that a lot of your classmates did much more than just kiss when sneaking out at night. But you weren't the type to sneak out at night. You were the type to get your first kiss at 18 after graduating from said boarding school.
“Tell us more,” Wheezie insisted. She sat next to you on the couch, cross-legged, looking at you, eager to hear your story. You smiled at your little stepsister. You two had grown closer over the past years, with Wheezie discovering the internet and thus being able to chat with you even when you were hundreds of miles away at school.
“Denny is quite a good kisser though. You’re lucky, he was your first,” Sarah said, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the coffee table in front of her.
You knew that Sarah had hooked up with Denny. So you had, of course, told her when he had asked you out. Sarah was totally okay with it, she even encouraged you to text him back, when he texted you. Denny hadn't been her boyfriend, just one of her hook-ups, ages ago. And as of now, Sarah was too happily in love with her pogue boyfriend to be jealous at all. It was kind of a forbidden romance, Wheezie had told you all about it, but Sarah herself also liked to share, she loved talking about her boyfriend and his pogue friends and their way of living. And you liked to listen to her exciting stories or when she complained about her father or brother. You liked that you were kind of close, even though you only spent the summer and Christmas holidays at Tannyhill.
Your mother had you at a very young age and you were practically raised by your grandma. When your mother married Ward Cameron, you were old enough to be send off to one of the most prestigious boarding schools in the country. The school was in another state, but could as well have been on another continent. Your mother didn't want to have you in her new life, she already had three new kids to look after. Ward wouldn’t have minded, he made sure you knew that you were as much a daughter to him as Sarah and Wheezie. He showed his affection by paying for your expensive education. Now that you had graduated from high school, you were supposed to spend the summer before going to an ivy league school with your family in the Outer Banks.
“Did you close your eyes? Did you feel butterflies? Did he do the neck grab?” Wheezie kept shooting one question after the other and you felt your face must have been glowing. You looked away, trying to think of what to answer, when your eyes met a pair of intense blue eyes, staring at you from across the room.
Rafe, your older stepbrother, stood in the hallway, looking at you. And for some reason, you felt that damn heat had reached your ears. You quickly looked away, turning to Sarah, who was telling Wheezie that she shouldn't base her expectations on tiktoks and fanfics.
The kiss happened the night before at a kook party. You had been texting and hanging out with Denny for about two weeks. He was your age, he was charming, smart, the former captain of the football team. He was actually so good that he got a scholarship to play at a college team. Not that he would have needed the scholarship to go to college, his parents were one of the wealthiest kook families on the island. Almost as rich and influential as the Camerons. Of course, you knew Denny before, the island was small and he was one of your stepbrother's friends. But this whole thing with him only started about two weeks ago when you quite literally ran into him at the country club. He insisted on buying you another drink even though you were the one who spilled your drink on him. He texted you later, he got your number from Sarah, and, since Sarah was encouraging you, you texted back and agreed to go on a date with him. You had been on four dates already: dinner, a trip to the beach, another dinner, and a date on his family's yacht, when you went to the party with him the previous night. And then it just happened. He kissed you outside the house where the party was. It was a starry night and the kiss was nice. And after, he took your hand and walked inside with you and you smiled, as you felt the warmth of his hand around yours.
“I'll get us some fresh popcorn, then we can start the movie, okay?” You grabbed the half-empty bowl and got up from the couch, while your stepsisters were in some serious discussion about some actor from a show you had never heard of.
You left the living room and walked past Rafe, who didn't seem to have moved an inch. You didn't look up at him when you spoke to him.
“You wanna join us and watch a movie with us? It's Wheezie's choice tonight, so I guess it's whatever is trending on netflix at the moment,” you said and were about to head for the kitchen, when suddenly his hand wrapped around your arm. You stopped and looked up at him, gasping.
Rafe leaned down to you, and you felt his hand gripping tighter around your arm. You winced and were about to say something, when you met his eyes. Dark blue orbs staring at you, so very close to you.
“Why did you lie?”
You frowned in confusion.
“Why did you lie and say that that was your first kiss?”
You just gazed up at him. And despite the heat in your face, you felt a shiver running down your spine.
You parted your lips, wanting to say something, but he cut you off.
“I hate liars.”
And then he let go off you, turned around and just left, and you felt your heart beating in your chest, so rapidly, so loudly, your stepsisters in the other room must have heard it. You stepped back from the door, your back pressing against the wall, as you tried to compose yourself.
He was right. That kiss wasn't your first kiss.
Your first kiss happened with Rafe when you were 15 and he was 17.
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It was right after Christmas. Before New Year's Eve. It was late at night and you decided to have a hot chocolate before going to sleep. You met Rafe in the kitchen, standing at the open fridge, rummaging it for some leftovers from dinner. He was wearing that ridiculous Christmas sweater with the reindeer over his sleeping shorts. You couldn't help but giggle at the sight of him. He was already tall then, not as tall as he was now, but much taller than you. He was lean, less bulky. He was a boy still and he grinned like one, when he turned to look at you.
“What's so funny? You laughing at me?”
“Nothing, nothing,” you shook your head, grinning, “Sven.”
You squealed and giggled when Rafe launched a tickle-attack on you.
It used to be so easy around him. He was always sweet, sometimes teasing, but always in a sweet way. He was protective and you felt safe with him. You were closer then, and it was just easy to be yourself with him.
You got into a real tickle fight with him, chasing each other around the kitchen, as he finally got you.
“Stop, stop, stop! I surrender!” You said, out of breath. Your cheeks hurting from laughing so hard.
He stopped tickling you, but his hands still rested on your sides, and he stood very close in front of you. Your own hands clutching that ridiculous sweater of his. He looked down at you. His hair disheveled, his cheeks flushed, his chest heaving, his lips parted. He didn't laugh or grin and your own laughing had stopped too. All you heard was your rapid heartbeat and both of you panting.
And his hand touched your cheek. You felt a little spark, but instead of withdrawing, you leaned into his touch. Your lips parted as he leaned closer. His face so close, you could hardly make out his features, so you closed your eyes, and breathed in. And it was his scent that filled your lungs, before you felt his lips on yours. And that contact sent a wave of some yet unknown sensation through your body, and you felt it everywhere, felt it in your fingertips that grabbed the sweater. Felt it in your toes as you stood on them to meet Rafe's lips. Felt it on your skin, where he touched you, felt it under your skin. Felt it coursing through your veins.
A distant sound, and Rafe suddenly broke the kiss. In a state of daze you opened your eyes and moved them to what Rafe was staring at. Or to who.
Ward was standing in the door to the kitchen. His presence towering both of you. You shuddered and jumped away from Rafe.
You slowly walked backwards, your heart racing, sudden fear being the dominant emotion. But when Ward came closer, his attention wasn't focused on you. He hardly seemed to notice that you were even there. He glared at his son, glared at Rafe who just stood there, as if he was paralyzed by fear, unable to move.
You didn't wait for what happened, you chose flight and ran past Ward, ran up to your room, locking the door. You heard no screaming, no yelling, though you had expected as much. When half way up the stairs, you had heard a thud, and then something banging heavily, like a chair falling to the ground.
The next morning, you didn't see Rafe at the breakfast table. You saw your stepfather, who was smiling and being his relaxed self as ever. Only he avoided directly looking at you.
You saw Rafe later in the afternoon. You wanted to talk to him, say something, but you didn't know what. And when you saw the bruise under his eye, you had no words left.
Four days later you left to return to school. And when you came back during spring break, things were different, very different. Rafe no longer smiled at you, never laughed when you were around. When he didn't avoid you, he glared at you. And there was something so dark in his blue eyes that it made you shudder and sob at night.
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“But you have to come!” Sarah pushed out her lower lip and looked at you with her big brown eyes, pleadingly, practically begging you to come with you to the party that evening.
“I want to spend time with my favorite older sibling and I want you to meet my friends. Besides, what do you want to do here, huh? Your boyfriend is on a family trip in the Bahamas and you can't seriously want to spend another evening binge-watching The Summer I Turned Pretty with Wheezie. Come on! Pleaaase.” Sarah's pouting went up another level and she made actual puppy eyes.
You didn't mind spending another evening with Wheezie and listening to her endless monologs on why she would always choose Jeremiah over Conrad, over any guy really.
You sighed. “But I don't have anything to –”
“To wear?” Sarah interrupted you and grabbed your hand. “Come on, you can pick whatever you want from my closet.”
You sighed in defeat, but smiled, as you followed your stepsister into her bedroom.
You didn't end up with choosing anything from her closet, but she picked out an outfit for you. And Sarah had great taste and you didn't complain. She selected a light summer dress for you, fitting for a casual party at the beach. You liked how the fabric felt on your skin and how the cut accented your curves without revealing too much. The skirt was a bit shorter than what you'd usually wore, but it was the middle of summer and you were on the island and not in the city.
When looking at the mirror, you smiled at the young woman smiling at you. You touched the golden necklace you were wearing. A gift from Denny. When he gave it to you the other day, you were surprised. Wasn't it a bit early for such costly gifts? But he insisted on you taking it and he was so happy when he put it around your neck. The pendant was a green stone, it was a bit heavy, but it looked nice. You really appreciated the gesture. And you really appreciated how your boyfriend treated you. He was okay with taking things slow. He never pushed you and in these past weeks, you had never done more than holding hands. You hadn't even kissed again. – Something you wouldn't tell your sister, for a reason you didn't quite know yourself.
You enjoyed yourself a lot at the party. Sarah's friends were easy to get along with, especially JJ. You just met him like an hour ago and he had already made you laugh more than you had in the whole past month or even year. But talking with Pope was also nice, he knew a lot and you liked listening to him. You also liked watching how these two boys got into a playfight about something stupid. You didn't mind that Sarah left you with the pogues as she and John B wanted to spend some time alone.
“Now, c'mon. Dance with me, big-city girl,” JJ pointed at you, then bent his finger to indicate that you should follow him. You laughed and shook your head. He then tried to catch you with an imaginary lasso.
“You’d better go, before he does his full-on cowboy impression, and talking in that accent, and believe me, you don't wanna hear that. No one wants to hear that,” Pope told you, leaning closer to you, and then taking your cup, so you could go and join JJ at the bonfire.
You couldn't deny that the cheap beer you had been drinking had made you a bit tipsy and somehow loosened you up a bit. But mainly, you just felt comfortable in the presence of Sarah's friends that had quickly become your friends too. And you weren't the only ones dancing by the fire. Other people also danced to the music coming from someone's speakers.
JJ took your hand and twirled you around, made an effort at imitating some dance moves that looked very elaborated. It was fun, you felt a permanent grin on your cheeks, glowing with the heat from the nearby fire, the booze and the excitement. You felt free, not thinking about anything at all. Not even thinking about the way you moved, but you just did. You felt the music, felt the joy of being young and careless – and you suddenly felt something hard that you bumped into, while twirling around.
“Sorry,” you muttered and looked up, as two hands grabbed your arms.
And you looked into the angry face of your stepbrother.
You froze, just for a moment. Then you tried to get away, but Rafe only held you closer, like pulling you into a tight embrace, and for an instant you thought that he might want to dance with you. But he didn't.
“Hey!” JJ's voice behind you made your head spin around.
“Let her go!” The blond boy stood a couple of feet away, his hands clenched into fists. His whole body seemed tensed up and he glared at Rafe. JJ looked so different from how he had looked a minute ago. All that carelessness, all his smiles gone.
You felt Rafe tense up too, as his hands tightened their grip around your arms, making you wince in pain.
“JJ,” he said his name through clenched teeth as if it was an insult.
The two boys stared at each other, the tension between them was palpable. People had gathered around them, but you didn't actually take notice of them. You looked at JJ, tried to tell him not to do anything stupid, but his eyes were fixed on Rafe. You looked at Rafe. You gave up freeing yourself from his iron grip.
“Please,” you pleaded, unsure what else to say. Your voice too soft, too weak anyway. You felt cold all of a sudden, and very sober.
And then everything happened just so fast.
JJ must have stepped closer, because the next moment, Rafe pushed you behind his own body as he lunged forward to hit JJ. When he moved his arm back, his elbow hit you at your chin and you, no longer held by him, stumbled and fell to the sandy ground. But neither Rafe nor JJ took notice. When you looked up, you saw them throwing fists at each other. Their bodies colliding, this was another kind of dance. You were shocked to see such fierce violence, both of them seemingly fighting with the intend to end the other.
You were shaking and only now noticed that you had started to cry. You cried and yelled and pleaded them to stop.
Fortunately, some guys stepped in, pulling the fighting boys apart.
Rafe angrily shrugged off the guy who was holding him, while two others held JJ, who fiercely, but in vain fought to free himself.
“Rafe!” You screamed his name, and that made him stop, made him turn his head towards you, still sitting on the ground, tears running down your face.
Rafe's eyes were dark and the look on his face was unlike anything you had ever witnessed. You flinched as he came closer, suddenly so afraid of your own stepbrother. He frowned at your reaction, but proceeded. He grabbed your arm, made you cry out in pain, pulled you to your feet. And when you tried to get away, because every cell in your body told you to run, he caught you, wrapping his arms around you from behind, picking you up like you weighed nothing, held you in both his arms. Your feet kicking the air, your fists trying to hit him, you were screaming, but he easily carried you away. And no one stopped him.
Through teary eyes you saw JJ being held by the two guys while a third one punched his face, and yet he fought, tried to get away, looking at you, looking at Rafe, who carried you away, carried you from the beach to his car.
He opened the door and tossed you onto the passenger seat. You let out a groan, as something hit your back. As soon as Rafe let go off you, you tried to get up, get out, but Rafe pushed you back into the seat.
“Let me go! Just let me go!” Your hands tried to shove him out of the way.
He caught one of your wrists, twisted it in his grip, as he reached over you to fasten the seatbelt.
You whined and gave up fighting as you knew he was too strong and you had no chance against him at all.
“Please just let me go. Why are you like this?” You pleaded between sobs.
“Why am I like this?!” Rafe yelled at you and his hand shot forward to grasp your chin, pressing so hard, you feared he would crush your jaw.
“You acting like a goddamn slut messing around with a fucking pogue!”
You flinched at each word he yelled at you, his face closer and closer. His eyes so wild, his whole expression just fuming with rage, directed at you.
“I did not,” you tried to defend yourself.
“You're a fucking LIAR!”
You flinched, and when you closed your eyes, a stream of tears ran down your cheeks.
“No,” you tried again, but he cut you short.
“You think I'm stupid?” He tilted his head, frowning, his eyes small as he glared at you in disbelief. “You think I don't know what's going on? You fucking that pogue. You’re a whore. Just like Sarah. All my sisters are goddamn sluts fucking those filthy pogues. And what does that make me look like, huh? Thought about that? Thought about what it means for your family? Your free-spirited fucking lifestyle? How does that look on dad, huh? Have you ever thought about anyone but yourself? Ever thought about the consequences of what you're doing?”
You gazed at him, taken aback by his accusations, not understanding what had gotten into him.
His eyes moved down from your face to your chest, which rose and fell under your agitated breathing.
His hand slowly let go of your chin, moved down your neck. You held your breath as you felt the pressure on your throat. His tongue flicked out, wetting his lips. His hand moved down further, his palm pressing hard onto the necklace’s pendant. You winced as you felt the hard stone digging into your skin.
“My own sister. Dressed like a whore. Fucking a pogue.” His voice was now calmer, darker, and it made you shiver.
“But, Rafe,” you sobbed, your hands tentatively reaching for his arm. “I did not do anything, I swear.”
The back of his hand hit your cheek so hard, your head flew to the side and it hit the headrest of the driver's seat.
You stared at him in shock, eyes widened, lips parted, pressing your hand to your throbbing cheek.
You couldn't believe what just happened.
But instead of apologizing or saying anything that would explain what he just did, Rafe just kept looking at you, his eyes on your trembling body. You noticed only now that your dress had slipped up, revealing a bit of your underwear. You quickly reached down to pull the fabric to cover as much of your legs as possible.
You looked up as you heard him scoff.
Shaking his head, moving his lips as if talking, talking to himself, he pushed himself back from the door, slammed it shut and walked around the car to get into the driver's seat.
You shifted as far away from him as you could, pressing your shoulder against the window, but you did not try to get out. You did not try to stop him when he started the engine. You did not yell or scream or rage. You just sat there, quietly sobbing as he drove you back to Tannyhill.
And Rafe didn't say anything, didn't even look at you when he parked the car in the driveway. He didn't look back when he got into the house, just left the front door open after he went inside.
You followed, slowly, your body still shaking with sobs. Your face hurt. The throbbing had become a sharp pain by now.
You got inside the house, it was dark, your parents and your little sister fast asleep.
You waited at the top of the stairs, until you heard the door of Rafe's bedroom shut, then you ran into your own room, locked the door behind you and crawled under the covers of your bed.
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You didn't tell anyone what had happened that night with Rafe in the car.
Of course, Sarah knew about the fight between Rafe and JJ, and the day after she asked you, if you were okay. She even asked you if she should come over. But you said, you were okay and she should stay at John B's, you might come over later too. Sarah liked that idea, she was totally excited about it. You were talking over the phone, no video, so you didn't have to fake a smile. But you liked just listening when she talked with you about John B and the pogues. Their treasure hunting, their fishing trips, how she was learning to surf. It was nice to hear that your stepsister was so happy. It made you forget your own situation for a while.
Truth was, you weren't quite sure what that situation was.
The next days you tried your best to avoid your stepbrother, which wasn't too hard. He seemed to be out or asleep most of the time. So you were able to spend some time with Wheezie, preferably outside the house, somewhere you'd know you wouldn't accidentally run into Rafe, like that ice-cream parlor or the waffle house that sold these literally gigantic waffles with pink marshmallows. You even went to the mainland to a funfair with your little stepsister. Wheezie didn't notice the bruises on your face. You did quite a good job covering them up with your make up.
Since your boyfriend was still away with his family, you spent the nights either watching movies with Wheezie, helping her make tiktoks, or just in your room, reading a book.
You closed the book you had been reading for the past hours. Yawning, you looked at your phone. It was almost 3 a.m. You needed to use the bathroom. You sat on the edge of the bed, hesitating. Usually you would go down the corridor to get to the bathroom Sarah and Wheezie were sharing. But it was the middle of the night and you didn't want Wheezie to wake up. Besides, Rafe hadn't come home that night, so he wouldn't hear you.
You left your room and went to the bathroom. Pushing open the unlocked door, you stepped inside and froze. The light was on and you should have taken your time and listened when you had been outside. The water of the rain shower was running. And Rafe was standing under the shower. His back to you. The water raining down on his body, his naked body. The open shower offered you a complete view. His hair was wet, sticking to his head. Drops of water gracing his broad shoulders. Trails of water running down his back, accentuating the contours of his well-defined muscles. Water running down his lower back, over the curves of his butt, down his legs. He shifted slightly, his legs parting just a bit. Your eyes darted up, and you saw how he turned his head, turned it towards you. And looked at you. Water drops caught in his lashes, as he gazed at you. And his body moved and he was about to turn around completely, when you finally woke up from your frozen state and swiftly turned around and left the bathroom as fast as you could.
When you were inside your room, you were shaking. Your back pressed against the back of your door. You were panting, so loudly, it was embarrassing. You covered your mouth with both your hands. Your legs felt weak, like they would give in, but at the same time you felt something else, a very different, very unknown sensation. Something that had started as a tickling sensation and was now a throbbing, between your legs. You pressed them as closely together as you could. But it wouldn't stop. All your previous sleepiness gone, it seemed like all your senses were fully awake and heightened.
You heard a door open and close. You tried to focus and listen, between the sounds of your own rapid heartbeat. You heard footsteps on the corridor. Slow and heavy. They came closer and stopped. In front of your door. Right behind you. You pressed the palm of one of your hands against the wood. And you stopped breathing. Your mind racing. Trying to remember if you had locked your door.
It was still, completely still apart from your own heavy breathing, muffled by your own hand.
Then you heard footsteps again and another door, open and close.
And you still couldn't move.
When you finally made it to your bed, after checking if you indeed had locked your door, you didn't find real sleep for the rest of the night. Again and again you woke up, hearing the dripping sound of water or raspy breathing close to your ear.
You must have fallen asleep at some point, because when you opened your eyes next, the sun was shining right into your face and it was almost noon. You groaned as you turned in your bed. It was unusual for you to get up this late. You got dressed, wearing a sweater and your jeans shorts. It was most probably too hot outside for wearing a sweater, but with the air conditioning working, it was a bit chilly inside.
You went to the kitchen to get some coffee and something to eat to finally start the day. On your way downstairs, you heard Wheezie's and your mother's voice from another room. You figured that at this time of the day, the kitchen would be empty. Except it wasn't.
You stopped in the doorway when you saw Rafe. His back turned towards you, wearing a loose t-shirt and grey sweatpants, Rafe was standing at the coffeemaker.
Involuntarily, you let out a gasp, which he must have heard, because his head turned around. His eyes met yours. Just for a brief moment, then he turned his attention back to the machine in front of him. He didn't say anything, but you could have sworn that you saw a tiny smirk curling up the corners of his lips.
You took a deep breath. Something inside you told you to just go and run upstairs, lock yourself in your room. But your feet started moving and you walked to the fridge. It didn't seem as if Rafe even cared that you were in the same room with him. So you supposed that he had resumed his usual stance of just ignoring you. Besides, you still heard your sister's voice from the living room close by. Even Rafe wouldn't dare to do anything with his family, with his little sister so close by.
You went about grabbing something to eat and making yourself a coffee, while Rafe was doing the same quietly. You didn't look at him, just heard him move about and saw his frame from the corner of your eyes.
Your hands rested on the edge of the counter, fingers curling, your weight shifted to one foot, the other foot rubbed over your calf, feeling the warm woolen fabric of the sock, you were deeply in thought, while waiting for the coffeemaker to finish the program for your cappuccino.
“You're done with the staring?”
That dark voice directly behind you made you flinch and you lost your balance, tipping to the side, you almost fell – if it hadn't been for a strong hand catching you. And even when you were standing securely on both feet again, that hand didn't let go off your waist.
You felt your chest widen with the deep breath you took.
Rafe's body was so close to yours, you could feel the heat radiating from it. You could feel his muscles move as he leaned down to you, his chest pressing against your back.
“So, did you like what you saw? Last night? You left in such a rush. What were you doing in your room? Lying in your bed, thinking about my cock, touching yourself?” His lips grazed your ear as he whispered those words that made you involuntarily shiver, despite the heat you felt under your sweater.
You turned your head to look at him, when you felt something poking at your back.
Your lips parted and you felt them quiver as his face moved closer. His breath caressing your face, his eyes holding yours as his lips hovered over your mouth. Your breathing hitched as you felt his other hand move up to reach for your face.
“Finally you're up!” Wheezie's voice made you gasp. You felt pure heat rushing to your head.
Rafe’s hand – a second ago almost brushing your cheekbone – reached up to the cupboard above your head, taking out a glass. He walked to the fridge to take out the orange juice and pour some into the glass.
You grabbed the mug from under the coffeemaker, turned around and lifted it to your lips even though the contents were still too hot to drink. Your sleeves covered your wrists and you held the mug with both your hands, holding onto it like a lifeline. You nodded at Wheezie and tried to offer her a smile while your whole body was trembling.
Rafe had downed the orange juice and was pouring himself another glass, when Wheezie came over, snatched that newly filled glass from his hands and turned towards you while taking a sip.
“I needed your help with that tiktok,” she said and her accusing tone made you feel guilty, even though you couldn't remember having promised her to help her.
“I'm sorry,” you muttered. “We can do it now?” You offered.
Wheezie exhaled dramatically.
“Now is too late. We're about to leave.” Wheezie looked at you with her dark eyes, pouting. “But you could come and we can make it on the ferry,” she asked sweetly all of a sudden and took another sip from the orange juice.
Rafe, obviously having decided that he was still thirsty, had stepped closer and took out another glass from the kitchen cupboard above your head. His arm brushing your hair as he did so. And you felt goosebumps crawling over your skin, spreading on your neck.
Your eyes darted up and you noticed that Rafe's eyes traveled to your neck, and that look felt more intense than any touch and caused another shiver.
“You cold? Are you sick? Is that why you slept in?” Wheezie sounded seriously concerned now.
That shiver must have been visible. You cursed your own body for reacting so intensely and so weirdly to your stepbrother's presence.
“No, no, don't worry, Wheezie. I'm fine. I just spent the whole night reading.”
You heard a scoff coming from Rafe, but didn't look.
“Oh, that book with the dragons? You need to tell me all about it!”
“I will,” you smiled, and it was a real smile. You loved your little sister's enthusiasm.
“But not today. Denny is coming back from his family trip and we're meeting this afternoon.”
Wheezie's lips formed a disappointed ‘O', but then she nodded and took more sips from her glass.
“You're spending a lot of time with that boy lately,” Ward had entered the kitchen, and he offered you a warm smile. “You should invite him over for dinner, so we can officially meet.”
“Oh, my god, dad. You sound like a total patriarch,” Wheezie rolled her eyes.
“I do? Now the patriarch tells you to get in the car, Wheezie, we're already late,” Ward tilted his head and looked at his youngest daughter with warmth in his eyes.
Wheezie rolled her eyes again, muttered an annoyed “Fine,” put her glass down on the counter next to you, hugged you as if she was about to leave for months. When she let go, she turned towards her brother standing by the fridge.
“Bye, Rafe. Thanks for the juice,” she said, twirled around and literally danced out of the kitchen, as Rafe mumbled his reply.
You noticed how his stance had changed completely, his shoulders were drawn up, he was looking down. He seemed more tense ever since his father had come into the kitchen.
“If you don't find it too patriarchy of me, I’d like to get to know the boy that my daughter spends so much time with.”
“No, of course, that would be nice. I’ll ask him,” you quickly replied and smiled at your stepfather. You couldn't deny it, it always made you feel sort of happy when Ward casually called you his daughter, making no difference between you and his biological daughters.
“Now that's settled then,” he said. “Enjoy your date.”
“Thanks,” you took a sip from your cappuccino, which was now cool enough to drink.
Ward gave you another smile, before turning his attention toward his son.
“I asked you to drop off the crates at the site by 2.”
“I – I will. I'm on it,” Rafe gazed at his father who frowned at him.
“That's what you always say.”
“But I will.”
“It's a simple task, Rafe. If you can't even do that –“
“No, I said I will!” Rafe straightened up, took a step closer to his father, his body tensing up, you noticed.
“Honey? We need to get going,” your mother looked through the kitchen door.
“You have a nice day with Denny, sweetheart,” she addressed you, before just frowning at Rafe and leaving.
Before Ward also left, he smiled at you again – this time, the smile was a bit strained, you noticed.
He shot a less than friendly look at his son.
“For a change, just don't disappoint me again.”
When your parents had left, you remained in the kitchen and there was a strange silence.
You looked at Rafe, he was biting his nails.
“You okay?” Your voice soft, full of real concern.
He turned his face towards you, glared at you.
“Shut up!” You flinched as he yelled at you and then stormed out of the kitchen.
You let out a shaky breath after he had left. You weren't hungry anymore, so you just emptied the remains of your cappuccino into the sink and went upstairs.
Wrapped in a towel after taking a long hot shower in your sisters' bathroom, you returned to your room, only to find Rafe standing at your bed, looking at the clothes you had picked out to wear.
He held up the top you had put on the bed.
“You gonna wear that to your date?” He tilted his head, looking at you, his eyes slightly narrowed.
“Give that back,” you tried to snatch it from his hand, but Rafe's reflexes were better and he held it up, out of reach. Still you tried to get a hold of it, reaching up with one arm, while you held the towel close to your chest with your other hand, feeling it loosen from the quick movement.
Rafe looked down at you, just with his eyes, and there was a glint in them, and the corners of his mouth curled up into a smirk.
You frowned and held both your arms now in front of your chest, clutching the towel.
The tip of his tongue flicked out and wetted his lips. As if it was some reflex, you bit your own lips, and he chuckled in response. You only now realized that his body was so close to yours that you felt that vibration in your own body.
“You want to seduce him? Want him to fuck you?”
“Why are you so –” You looked up at his face and tried to step back when you felt the edge of the bed hitting the back of your legs and stopping your movement.
“So what?” He bowed his head down and his piercing blue eyes stared at you.
“Mean,” you said.
“You like it, don't you?” He tilted his head to the side and that grin on his lips changed.
“No,” you said quickly and as firmly as you managed to.
“No what?” He mocked you.
You looked at him, your brows furrowed. Still holding the towel with both hands, you tried to push at his chest with your elbow to get some distance between you two.
“I like you better when you're not mean,” you said, no longer looking up, but your eyes on his chest that you were trying to push away.
“That so?” His voice was lower than before and you lifted your gaze to see his eyebrows raised. “Like when?”
“Like when you were nice.”
"What is nice, hm?”
You felt a heat crawling under your skin and lowered your gaze.
His fingers under your chin tilted up your head, made you look at him again. His thumb brushed along your bottom lip.
“This nice?” His voice a raspy whisper.
The sudden softness of his touch made you shiver.
Your lips parted and you drew in a sharp breath as he leaned down.
“This?” His voice so low, you could hardly hear it, but feel it so intensely, as his lips moved close to yours. And you could taste his breath, taste the coffee and the orange juice and him.
You held your breath and his lips grazed the corner of your mouth. You closed your eyes. Exhaling through your mouth, you felt that trembling growing. Your legs suddenly unsteady. But you didn't fall. His arm wrapped around you and held you close to his body as he slowly lowered you on the bed.
His lips were so incredibly soft as they covered your face with tender kisses. His body was hovering over yours as you lay on your back. You felt its warmth, but not its weight.
His hand touched your face, his long fingers caressed your neck, brushed over your shoulders, leaving a trail of goosebumps on your heated skin. His mouth traveled over your cheekbone to your ear. His breath made you gasp and whimper as the tip of his nose touched that spot you didn't know was so sensitive. Slowly and without any resistance from you, he uncurled your fingers that were wrapped around the towel. He guided one of your hands to his shoulder, and your fingers, like they had their own will, grasped at it, held onto him, as your body arched and a moan escaped your lips when his mouth found the sensitive skin on your neck. His big hand cupped your now exposed breast, kneading it, fumbling it, no longer touching softly. His knee pushed between your legs, parting them. And you felt the pressure at your core as your hips rose to meet him.
Your breathing, slow and loud, was all that could be heard in the room. And then the soft sucking sounds of his lips on your neck, leaving a mark.
Both your hands were on him now. The one hand at his shoulder, grabbing so hard, it was shaking. Your other hand touching his back. The lightest pull from you and he rocked his hips against yours, making you gasp and open your eyes in surprise as you felt his hard length urging against your thigh. Being completely inexperienced, you couldn't quite judge whether it was normal that it was so huge. And your mind was cloudy with all those unknown sensations that you were unable to tell whether this was right when you felt his fingers rub along your folds, when they parted them and pushed inside you.
You tensed up, cried out, as you clenched around the intruding digit. Your hands no longer pulling Rafe closer but trying to push him up, like pushing at an unmovable rock.
You whined as his finger pushed deeper, your face turning to the side, away from him as a tear ran down your cheek. He let out a hissing sound, his mouth close to your neck. His finger remained inside of you but stopped moving further. You already felt so incredibly full. His lips started moving over your skin. He kissed your chin, kissed your cheek, licked at your tears.
“No,” your voice a hoarse whisper, your hand balled into a fist, pressing at his shoulder uselessly, in vain trying to push him off you.
“No,” you said again and that word turned into a moan as you felt something pressing against your most sensitive spot. His thumb rubbed your pearl and your traitorous body reacted by shivering. And your legs parted further. He moved them up, made them bent, giving him room. His finger curled inside you. Your body convulsed. You opened your eyes, but you couldn't see anything clear. You felt your body heating up, sweat covering it. Your hands clutching at Rafe's shirt as you made those noises that didn't sound like coming from you. But they came from you. From something deep inside you. Something Rafe had just started to awake. You bit your lips to make those sounds stop as you felt that throbbing at your core with Rafe's fingers caressing, pushing, rubbing, pinching, curling, thrusting.
His other hand gripped your chin, turned your head and you looked up at him, just for a second, before his lips met yours and he claimed your mouth in a kiss that was nothing like the one you remembered from all those years ago, that tender kiss. This kiss was hungry and fierce, and intoxicating. Your mouth opened for his tongue. He claimed it. And when it pushed inside you, it felt like it was your own hunger. You felt like you were starving as he was devouring you.
Wide-eyed, your face burning with heat, your body aching with an unknown need, you gazed up at him when he broke the kiss, lifting his body, no longer touching you. But you still felt him, felt him on you, felt him inside of you, tasted him in your mouth. He had let go off you for a moment to take off his shirt and his sweatpants.
He was completely naked when he hovered above you, resting on his hands pressed into mattress on either side of you. The muscles in his arms tense and hard. Everything about him was hard. Solid like a rock. He was kneeling between your legs. Your body shaking, shivering as if you were cold when you felt that sweat covering it and that wetness between your legs. You were so much the opposite of him, in every way. You felt it so much at that moment when he just looked down at you. Something in his eyes so harsh that it made you shudder and close your eyes. You shook your head and stopped when his hand touched your face and held it. You opened your eyes. His face only inches away from yours.
“I'm gonna be gentle, alright? I'm gonna be nice.” His lips brushed yours in a tender kiss and your body arched up, despite your hands being balled up into fists and your arms pressed close to your chest as if you were trying to shield yourself.
You felt a movement, felt the bed tilt. And when you opened your eyes, you saw him kneeling in front of you, touching his hard cock, pumping it.
You gasped at the sight. It was even bigger than you had thought from what you had felt earlier. It was too big.
“Just the tip, alright? I won't push it all in. I know you're too delicate,” he said as if he had read your mind – or just saw the fear in your eyes.
He leaned down to kiss you and whisper at your lips.
“Just the tip, I promise. You will like it.”
As if proving his point, your hips moved up on their own and a hot shiver made you moan as his fingers touched your needy core. A smile appeared on his face, not quite a smirk, but you weren't sure anymore what you saw, what you felt, what you wanted. All reason was clouded and still, you knew that this was wrong.
You closed your eyes as he lifted one of your legs.
“Look at me,” his voice dark and so low, you felt a tingling at the back of your neck.
You obeyed and opened your eyes. Your arms were still pressed against your heaving chest, but it was easy for him to move them and place your hands on his shoulders as he lowered himself onto you.
“Look at me,” he said again and your eyes were fixed on his face, watching his features, seeing that little smile, that glint in his eyes, seeing his mouth open, and his face contort the moment his tip parted your folds. At first it felt slick and smooth and then suddenly so painfully rough. The thick tip was stretching you unbearably wide. Your legs automatically pressed against his body, desperately trying to close and shut out the intruder. He pushed them apart and you screamed, screamed out loud at the top of your lungs as he pushed inside you. Too deep, too hard, too rough, too fast.
Waves and waves of stinging pain rushing threw your body, making it convulse and shake, making you whimper and whine, you felt like you were being torn apart. You pushed at his shoulders, pressed at his chest, but his hips kept moving, rocking hard against you. Urging his hard length into you.
“So good,” he muttered between strained breaths. “So tight,” he panted. “All mine,” he growled.
His movements so rough and relentless, he seemed lost in his own pleasure. His eyes fixed on you, but not really seeing you, he seemed like he had forgotten all about you, your part in this, your existence.
“Rafe!” You screamed his name, screamed it at his face, screamed it so loud, your throat hurt.
His eyes flickered and he looked at you, really looked at you. And something changed in his features. For the briefest of moments, he paused, leaned down to kiss your lips, whispering something you didn't understand. And then you felt his fingertip touching that spot his thumb had teased before. Only now it wasn't teasing any longer. You didn't know how or why he knew exactly what to do, but that touch, that movement with his fingertip was all your body needed, all it craved for that moment. Your mouth opened wide as you moaned, then just gasped. The back of your head pressing into the mattress, your eyes rolling back. Your fingernails digging into Rafe's tense muscles at his back, as you were pulling him closer, ever closer, when that pain all of a sudden turned into pleasure, a painful, hot pleasure that left you in a state of rapture. Your body bending, trembling, shaking, as Rafe fucked you through your first ever orgasm.
You heard him groan, an animalistic sound. You felt your walls tensing up in waves and clenching so hard around him, making his thrusts only more ruthless, more forceful, as he took you, took all of you. And as the rush of your fierce high faded, you felt him so intensely. Felt him pushing inside you, filling you, feeling you, breathing on you, touching you, holding you, kissing you – it was like he was melting into you, when all of a sudden he stopped his movements, gazed down at you with hazy eyes, his features tensing up for a moment, and the next, the absolute opposite: all soft and lovingly, so sweet. He lowered his body onto yours and you felt his heavy panting syncing with yours. He kissed your face, breathless. Kissed your lips and after pushing into you a few more times, he pulled out and rolled his body off yours.
You kept lying on your back, next to him. Your legs still apart, knees bent. And you felt the cool breeze from the air-conditioning on your heated body, covered in a film of sweat, yours and his. And between your legs, you felt another kind of throbbing. And something sticky dripping out of you. You shut your legs and winced, rolling on your side, you turned away from him. It was as if reality hit you hard, and despite the fact that you still hadn't composed your breathing, despite the fact that your body wanted to remain in that blissful state, you felt a sudden wave of shame and guilt and something else that hurt even more, even deeper than the burning pain at your core.
At the touch of his hand, you flinched. You didn't want to, but your body curled up and you moved away from him, when in fact, you wanted nothing more than for him to hold you, to tell you that it was alright. That everything was exactly how it should be. That you were safe. With him.
Instead, you felt the bed tilt and you heard him get up and put on his clothes.
You moved your head so you could look up at him, look at him through teary eyes.
He stood in front of the bed, looking down at you. For a moment he seemed to hesitate, as if he wanted to lie down again. Then his features hardened. A frown appeared on his brow. His hands balled into fists, his jaws clenched.
“Now you can lie about that too. When your boyfriend fucks you tonight, you can lie and say it is you first time.” His voice so cold, so hard, it took the air out of your lungs.
And you only exhaled when he had left your room and the door shut behind him and you cried and sobbed and wept.
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a/n: this was kinda intense. Much darker than my recent fics. And so long. But I didn't want to rush it. I needed to write it as it is. I still hope you liked reading it. Reblogs, comments and likes are very much appreciated. btw, it's my birthday today.
xx
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orionremastered · 8 months ago
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Hybrid/shapeshifter golden tiger reader as a vigilante with batfam? I really love your writing :0
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They're so PRETTY how did I not know they existed before???? Also I love shifter fics bc who doesn't
Masterlist
Part Two
Golden
Being a shifter is bad in this day and age, at least until the shifter is mature enough to shift on command. Before then, young shifters can shift with any strong emotion, especially negative ones like anger and fear.
Most shifters mature when they turn into adults, which means they're either taught to become temporary psychopaths or are homeschooled until they're mature enough.
You, like many shifters, were the latter. Now that you're in university and studying biology, living in your own apartment states away from your parents, you're free. So incredibly free.
Free to be you, free to talk to people who interest you, and free to fight the lowly criminals of Goth- wait, what?
It was an accident, you swear. You couldn't bear to hear that poor little girl's blood-curdling screams (you hadn't understood what the phrase meant before, but you sure do now) any longer, so you shifted and almost, but not quite, mauled the man to death.
"Pretty kitty!" she had called you, and from then on you vowed to look after the young kids of Gotham, especially when going to and coming from school as well as at night (if you weren't studying). Sometimes you simply lay in the bushes of a park and watched over the kids as they played on the playground.
They remained your main focus (though you did save others, you mostly watched over the young children) even when the press got wind of the golden tiger shifter vigilante. "Golden" is what they called you, and it was certainly better than other names the press had given vigilantes before.
The local bat population had gotten word of your existence beforehand and had tried to even just get a glimpse of you, but you were too quick. After the press got wind, they amped up their efforts.
You've decidedly had enough of your studying and walked out of your apartment, climbing into the window of an ashy-smelling abandoned building, the charcoal staining your fingers as you moved into the dark to shift.
One could guess what happened to the building, but it didn't have anything to do with a golden tiger climbing out its window on a cool early spring night, the snow thawing slower than usual. There weren't many people on the streets at this hour which you were glad for.
You take your normal route today, going through the less fortunate neighbourhoods where kids are most commonly found. Slushy snow drenches your paws in cold water as you leap onto the next roof and climb down the stairs on the side of the building.
There's a bundle of blankets placed gently into a plastic bucket. You nudge the bundle with your nose gently and when the wailing begins you huff. Another abandoned baby; it's the third one this month. A mother you can't afford a child or is scared for the child's safety when it comes to the father.
Your teeth close around the bucket and you begin carrying the baby to the hospital in Crime Alley, a long trek from where you picked the baby up.
You hear something. Whispers. Your ears rotate to find the source of the sound which would be impossible for a human to hear.
"That's the tiger?"
"No shit," the second voice hisses, much older than the first. "What else could it be? A cow?"
"Whatever," the first one replies. "What do we do? Think that's a baby?"
"Probably. I say we take the baby and bring it to the hospital."
You turn your head to where the sound is coming from, impeccable vision allowing you to see Robin and Red Hood perched on a building above you.
"What about the- how good is a tiger's hearing?"
You do trust these vigilantes but not more than you trust yourself. You flick your tail and continue walking, a few corners from the hospital. The sound of their grappling hooks as the vigilantes follow you are only able to annoy you.
There's the hospital, just at the end of the street. You take no more than two steps before Red Hood steps out in front of you. You aren't surprised as you could hear him the entire time.
"Can I have the baby?" He asks, hand outstretched as he gestures for you to hand it over.
Your eyes narrow and you turn to see Robin behind you.
"It'll be easier for me to get it to the hospital," he explains. "They won't react calmly to a tiger carrying a baby."
He had an unfortunately valid point. The other times where you'd brought a baby into a facility, people freaked out.
Reluctantly, you gently place the bucket on the cold pavement and step back, letting the vigilante pick it up.
As Red Hood takes the baby to the hospital, you turn fully to face Robin. He's short and you reach up to the start of his ribcage.
"You're not an easy tiger to locate," he says. "It takes a few idiots."
You make a sound akin to a laugh, turn your head and vanish into the alleyway beside you.
Robin curses himself for not getting to pat the tiger. He'll be damned if his siblings get to first.
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inbabylontheywept · 4 months ago
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your life stories are always so interesting so i shall poke a stick into the cage and ask for more. do you have any fun stories of near death experiences? personally i choked on a lifesaver as a child and could not breathe
personally? not really. ive got a pretty decent hospital story though.
see, my grandpa was in charge of the easter pageant in my state. its a big mormon thing, a lot of other churches come because its just good easter worship. anyway, in part of the pageant, theres a pony for jesus and mary to ride around on. technically supposed to be a donkey, but ponys are just so much more photogenic. anyway this happened when my little sister was going through her little-girl-pony phase, so this was so major-league shit to her. so much so that my grandpa, who i still miss so much, brought this pony to our house so she could ride it.
my little brother? he also wanted to ride it. and i didnt really want to ride it, but they were both so small someone kind of needed to hold those two onboard, and i was the lighest person capable of doing so, (didnt want to overload the pony) so i went on the back too.
and it was a stellar time until the donkey went under a tree, then my little sister hit her head on a branch and fell left, and her fall took my little brother out because he was holding onto her, and both of them took me out, so we all fell off the pony, but me with 2 kids on my left arm.
god blessed me with a third elbow that day.
here are the things that followed after the Miracle of the Third Elbow
my autistic dad came outside to check on me. id broken my arm the year before, so i knew what it was, and i knew what it felt like, so i was able to pretty clearly go "yeah, dad, i broke my arm." and he was able to go "whew. yeah. thats like, harry potter broken." and i was able to say "yeah. yeah it hurts pretty bad." and he said "oh, yeah, definitely. that looks horrible." and then i basically said something like "hopital" and he was like "right" and then we left. my memory after that gets weird.
i can remember driving up main street, and seeing this guy dancing. like, full on dancing down the street. and i asked my dad about why that guy was dancing, and he said that man was a schizophrenic, and he was medicated, but the medication had just made it so that his voices told him to dance instead of hurt himself. now he danced all the time. i should clarify that my dad worked in the ER so he knew a lot of the local homeless on a life-story kind of level. my dads a good guy.
i can remember sitting in the waiting room with a magician that had sliced his right hand open pretty bad while cooking. he was trying his best to keep us entertained with his cards, but because he was doing all his tricks left handed, he'd mess them up sometimes and it was actually kind of more fun to watch than just him in expert mode. another good guy. very friendly, but visibly repulsed by my arm.
i can remember being in a bed, and a nurse coming up to me and saying that they could give me some painkillers, which i was super stoked about, but the IV from the painkillers basically required being stabbed with a needle as thick around as a pencil. she recomended saying the alphabet backwards when she put the needle in, and i said i didn't know how, and then she stuck in the needle in. over 4 seconds i was able to go from z to c, a feat i have never since been able to replicate.
after the painkillers, i watched a tv show called Jackie Chan Adventures, which was an animated cartoon with an animated Jackie Chan, voiced by the real Jackie Chan, solving mysteries. i actually assumed that whole thing was a hallucination until i was an adult, and i was describing it to my wife, and she was like "no, that actually happened." which was funny to happen to me, because when me and her started dating, she just kind of dropped how awesome it was that obama was the first muslim president, and i was like what, no hes an episcopalian, and it turns out that her dad, who sucks for many reasons, had told her that obama was a muslim, and she was sweet enough to believe that, and also to just be like oh, neat, our president is black and a muslim, we are truly moving forward as a counry." i love her so much.
no memories of it after that. not even sure when i got home. just a straight up weird time.
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jobean12-blog · 1 year ago
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Perfect Kind of Trouble
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Word Count: 4,566
Summary: You’re new to the neighborhood and you’ve landed a great job bartending at one of the local spots. So far it’s been a good change and things are going smoothly, that is, until Bucky Barnes, the neighborhood’s most eligible bachelor, walks into your bar and sets his sights on you. 
Author’s Note: I love the idea of Bucky chasing after a girl who gives him a run for his money! Hope you enjoy! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Dividers by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy!🥰
Warnings: Lots of fluff, flirting, tension, Bucky might be a bit possessive but in a good way and he definitely goes for what he wants and that’s you, some sass in there, Bucky is protective too :) and Nat is the best wingman ever! 
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“Oh my god, he’s here.”
You stop drying the glass in your hand and go stiff, side eyeing your friend Nat.
“Who Nat?”
She doesn’t answer and instead slides closer to you, leaning her head toward your ear.
“Bucky Barnes.”
“Who?” you ask again, starting to crane your neck to look.
“Don’t!” she snaps then instantly softens her tone. “Just meet me in the back in two minutes and don’t make it look suspicious.”
You give her a tiny nod and go back to your work on the glasses but you can feel the hairs at the back of your neck stand on end. You can feel his stare.
“Ok. What the hell is up with you?” you ask when you shut the door to the back room.
She’s pacing back and forth and it’s making you nervous but when she meets your eyes you relax slightly at the smile on her face.
“Bucky Barnes,” she repeats.
“Yeah? And? I have no idea who that is!”
“Of course you don’t!” she muses. “You wouldn’t know because you only moved here a few weeks ago.”
“Righttt…so, who is he?”
“Just the perfect man.”
“How do you know?”
“Everyone knows.”
You quirk your brow and cross your arms over your chest.
“Well, everyone who lives in the neighborhood,” she laughs.
“If he’s so perfect I’m sure he’s married with two point five kids, a dog and a house with a white picket fence.”
“There are no white picket fences in Brooklyn babe,” she says. “And you’d think that but he’s been a bachelor for as long as we know him.”
“Then he’s probably a player and an asshole!” you state.
“I mean sure, all the women, and men, talk about how hot he is and how much they want a shot and boy do they try but as far as I know he doesn’t date.”
“I don’t get it,” you say.
“Me neither!” she agrees. “But he hasn’t been at this bar in forever…”
“Maybe he wanted a change of scenery?” you say with a shrug.
“OR MAYBEEEEEEEE,” she starts, her grin growing. “He heard there’s a new girl in town and he’s here to see you!”
“You’re insane! And he sounds like a player to me.” you huff. “I’m going back to work. Come on, you have to point him out to me. I at least want a look.”
“I won’t need to. You’ll know who he is…”
At her wistful tone you roll your eyes, pushing open the door and walking out with determined steps.
When you hit the bar you discreetly scan the seats. You don’t see anyone that stands out, mostly just the usual crew that shows up on a Saturday night for four-dollar drafts.
A customer calls you over and you head in his direction with a smile. You’re just greeting him and taking his order when you feel that familiar heat at your back, your skin tingling.
Once you’ve got the drink order you turn toward the bar only to lock eyes with the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. It momentarily stops you in your tracks and if it weren’t for Nat lightly bumping your shoulder and whispering, “told ya so,” you would stay rooted to the spot to stare.
Instead you blink several times and look away, trying to remember what drink you’re supposed to make.
When you’ve finished making it you deliver it to the customer and try to take another peek down the bar.
“I’m not taking his drink order,” Nat singsongs when she comes to stand beside you. “That’s all you.”
Your mouth falls open and you give her a glare with narrowed eyes. She just smiles brightly and sashays to the other end of the bar to take another order.
With a huff of annoyance you square your shoulders and turn toward Bucky. As you approach him his eyes light up with his smile.
“Hi, what can I get you?”
He returns your greeting and sticks his hand out.
“I’m James Barnes but you can call me Bucky.”
You wipe your hand on the towel at your side and shake his. The shock of electricity at his touch doesn’t seem to be one sided when you feel the slight squeeze from his hand. You introduce yourself, hoping you don’t come off as confused at his direct attention.
“Apparently you’re rather popular around here?”
It comes out as a question and he chuckles.
“Don’t believe anything you’ve heard,” he says with a wink.
“So what about a drink?” you ask, focusing on doing your job.
He orders and before he can say more you rush off to fix his drink. You drop it off with nothing more than a smile and move toward the next person who calls for your help.
As you’re making your next few drinks you notice Nat chatting with Bucky and you can’t help but wonder what they’re saying.
You move back and forth behind the bar, trying to ignore the feel of Bucky’s eyes, but he finally catches your attention and waves you down.
“Another?” you ask.
“Sure doll, thanks.”
While you’re pouring his drink he tries to keep you engaged.
“So Nat told me you’re new to town?”
“Yeah, moved here at the end of last month.”
“Do you like bartending better here in the city?” he asks.
You look down at the bar and scold with a single name.
“Nat.”
Bucky leans in. “Don’t be mad. She’s just trying to help me out.”
You lean in too, elbows on the bar and your head tilted his way.
“You usually need help? From what I’ve heard you can have your pick of anyone.”
At the slight scrunch of your nose he can tell you’re not saying it with a positive tone.
“Not my style. I’m pickier and right now, I need all the help I can get because I think I’m in real danger of striking out.”
His eyes drop to your lips and when they turn up every so slightly he relaxes.
“What is your type?” you ask. “Maybe I can help you out too.”
He scans you slowly and the proceeds to describe you perfectly, the tension building in the inches between you with his every word.
You steel yourself and lift your chin. “Does that usually work?”
“It’s not a line. Meant every word doll face.”
“Do you use these endearments on all the girls? I bet they love it.”
“Nuh uh,” he answers adamantly.
You nod, looking completely unconvinced.
Nat reappears at your side. “You have no idea how much I hate to interrupt this, but I need three long island iced teas at table four or they’re gonna have a hissy fit.”
You straighten yourself. “Oh sorry! Of course. I’m on it.”
You’re busy for the next forty-five minutes but Bucky never leaves his spot and every time you meet his eyes they are heavy with intention as they follow your every move. You can feel them, the heat singing every inch of your skin.
At least two women have approached him at the bar but they both walked away after a few minutes of mundane conversation and lack of interest on his part.
As much as you hate to admit it you can’t help but steal glances at him too, though you try to keep them quick and subtle.
He’s broad shouldered in the tight tee shirt he’s wearing, his biceps on full display under the stretch of the fabric and his dark hair is loose at his shoulders. His full lips are framed by a dark scruff that also covers his cheeks and is peppered with patches of gray.
Your fingers mindlessly caress the glass you’re holding before you catch yourself and look away.
You drop off another glass of whiskey with a smile and he nurses it, shooting you a cocky half smirk when he catches you staring at him. It’s like the intense silence is some sort of foreplay.
Feeling his gaze along your skin, drinking you in and driving you wild, you do your best to keep up with orders.
When things start to slow down and customers go home, you finally make your way back toward Bucky, drawn to him, despite your best efforts.
“Couldn’t avoid me anymore?”
“I wasn’t really…”
The words taper off at the sharp lift of his eyebrow.
“Sorry,” you mutter.
“Apology accepted,” he smirks. “So, do you have plans when you get off?”
You don’t answer, instead fiddling with his now empty glass. He lays his hand on the bar, his fingers just an inch form yours.
“Are you really gonna ignore my question doll?” he chuckles.
His fingers slide closer and he brushes his thumb over your knuckles, gauging your reaction. You giggle at his second question and his eyes drop to your mouth as he licks his own lips.
You’re almost lost in the bubble but then the world outside comes roaring back into focus when you hear Nat yell “last call.”
“Work…I still have to work.”
His lips part on an exhale but he let’s you go.
You rush around the bar first, clearing glasses and debris before heading over to one of the tables where three guys sit in conversation.
Distracted, you lean over the table, trying not to interrupt them. But the blonde closest to you runs the back of his hand up your arm.
It makes you cringe.
“Hi there,” he says.
“Hey,” you answer coolly, shifting away from him.
One of the blonde’s friend gives you an apologetic look, scolding Rob before he hands you one of the empty glasses that’s far out of reach. You reach for it and as soon as your fingers wrap around it, Rob grabs your hips and yanks you into his lap.
You drop the glass to the floor and it shatters before you push against his chest, loudly yelling, “what the hell?”
Rob starts to speak but you’re suddenly lifted in the air and whirled around then planted gently on your feet behind Bucky’s broad back.
Bucky now has Rob’s tee shirt fisted in one hand as he gets in his face.
The bar goes silent and the next thing you hear is the low growl of Bucky’s order. “Don’t touch.”
Bucky slowly lowers Rob’s feet to the floor, keeping a careful eye on him. His eyes narrow a split second before Rob bellows, “motherfucker!”
The asshole rears back and punches Bucky clean in the jaw.
You gaps in horrified shock, but Bucky grins, his tongue peeking out to test his lip and you can’t help how your eyes linger there.
“You threw the first punch shithead,” Bucky says before winding back and punching Rob in the gut.
All the guys now rush toward their friend, muttering curses at him as they drag him to his feet and eye Bucky warily.
The owner of the bar, and your boss, Barry, comes over and gets in their faces. “Get out and don’t come back!”
They drag their belligerent friend out as quickly as they can, apologizing to you, or maybe Bucky, the whole way.
“What just happened?” you ask, your voice quiet.
Bucky steps close to you, his knuckles brushing over your cheek, light as a feather.
“Are you okay?”
His eyes are filled with emotions. Worry, fury, fear, and tenderness.
“I think so. That was just…crazy.”
Nat wraps her arm around your shoulders comfortingly. “Let’s go get Bucky some ice, ok?”
You glance down at Bucky’s hand, puffy and red.
“Oh no,” you say, gently taking his hand in yours.
He smiles. “It’s fine. Been there, done that.”
You watch him go back and sit at the bar, most of the other customers now cleared out. When you come back out with the ice and ointment your gentle, “you okay?” pulls him from his musings.
“Yeah, no big deal. As long as you’re okay?”
You sit next to him, resting his hand on your thigh and carefully pressing the ice to his knuckles. He stares at his hand on your skin.
“I don’t know if okay is how I would describe how I’m feeling right now…that was…”
Your words trail off when you can’t find a suitable label for the last ten minutes.
“Sexy?” he suggests, deadpan.
Your jaw drops open in offense.
“What? NO!”
He breaks and his lips spread wide in a grin.
You deflate and bump his shoulder, not trying to hide your own smile.
“Seriously though,” you say, shaking your head. “You didn’t have to…why did you do that?”
He looks at you evenly, his voice soft. “Look I’m not some crazy guy who goes around lookin’ to beat people up doll face. But you shouldn’t have to put up with shit like that. I’m sure that wasn’t the first time that piece of shit has pulled a stunt like that, but hopefully next time, he’ll have some decency and sense before laying hands on a woman without an explicit invitation.”
“Well in that case…that’s pretty nice.”
He scoffs with a lopsided smile and his eyes drop to your lips; his hand still pressed to your thigh. His head tilts and he leans in slightly, watching your lips part. He curls his fingers around your thigh but winces at the pull on his knuckles.
You see it and pull back, looking down at his hand.
“Let me get you fixed up.”
Once you have him bandaged up he whispers, “thanks,” still staring at his hand held in yours.
“You ready to go, or do you need to close up first?”
His question is light.
“Go where?”
“Out with me. Ice cream? A walk? Anything you want.”
“It’s the middle of the night. I’m not going anywhere but home.”
“Or we could go to the twenty-four-hour deli on the corner and get ice cream sandwiches then I’ll take you to the roof of my building and we can watch the sunrise.”
Your light touch traces along the calluses on his fingertips.
“Are you usually this friendly to everyone who is new to the neighborhood?” you ask behind a sly smile.
“Not at all doll. Only for you. You’re special.”
Your jaw goes rigid and your eyes narrow. “You can stop whatever game you’re playing.”
You pull back, releasing his hand and starting to put the first aid kit back together.
“What just happened? I’m not playing games,” he says, keeping his voice steady. “But I’m sorry if I said something wrong.”
“It’s fine. I need to go help Nat close up.”
You stand and walk to the door, your head held high. He’s not going to fool you with his sweet words.
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The next evening is slow so you spend most of it helping Nat stock the bar and clean. The hours pass by and nothing exciting happens letting your thoughts wander to Bucky. Then, as if on cue, the door opens, and you automatically look over to see who the latest customer is.
Bucky fills the doorway.
Your breath hitches and you can’t look away. He’s more dressed up tonight. A dark button down opened at the collar and dark jeans that are tight across his thick thighs.
You can’t help but think he’s here to meet someone for a date. The jealousy that surges through you is surprising and infuriating. That is, until he walks up to the bar and sits down. Right in front of you.
“Hey, doll.”
“Hey, Bucky.”
“What can I get you?” you start. “Or are you waiting for someone?”
“Yep,” he says, popping the p. “What time’s your break?”
“Oh,” you breath out. “Um…I don’t really get a long one…”
You start to wipe down the bar aimlessly, remaining quiet while you wait. You can feel him watching you, his eyes tracking your every movement.
He calls over Nat and asks, “can I get two of the special for tonight, please?”
He’s speaking to Nat but looking at you, daring you to disagree.
When you stay quiet, the corners of his mouth lift ever so slightly, victory lighting up his eyes.
“If you want to take it to-go for later, that’s fine. But I thought it’d be nice to have dinner together and figured ya wouldn’t want to go out with me after I fucked up last night.”
“So dinner while I’m supposed to be working is a better option?” you shoot back.
He cringes, despite the lack of heat in your accusation then sighs defeatedly.
“I’m trying here. I want to get to know you better. I promise my intentions are good.”
You stare, getting lost in his beautiful eyes before you scan the rest of his face. He seems more vulnerable now and you want to believe him.
Nat comes back with two plates of steaming food and sets them down.
You give in and unwrap the silverware, digging into a bite of baked potato.
“Mmm,” you moan around the taste.
He freezes with his own bite halfway to his mouth, and mutters under his breath. “Are you trying to kill me?”
You fall into easy conversation about what he does for work, how you like living in the city and everything in between.
After you explain why you moved, spilling the truth between bites, he replies with, “I’m glad you picked Brooklyn.”
His fingers slide over yours and the touch is full of heat. His eyes follow the movement and his jaw tightens. He threads his fingers through yours, holding your hand across the bar.
When he meets your eyes, his are hooded and dark. “How about that ice cream tonight with a roof top view doll?”
The ‘yes’ is on the tip of your tongue as your body leans over the bar, but then you remember that you want more than just a fling and even though he said his intentions are good you can’t help but wonder why a guy like him is still single. You’re not looking for a fling.
You untangle your fingers from his, pulling back.
“Thank you, Bucky. Really. But…”
He nods, not letting you finish before he reaches into his back pocket and sets down some cash to cover the dinners.
“See ya soon doll.”
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The bar is closed on Mondays but Tuesday has you running beers up and down the bar for game night. Bucky’s back. Same time, same seat.
“You need a break doll? Something to eat?” Bucky asks before he takes a sip of beer.
He sets it down as he waits for your answer, studying you intently.
You grab a French fry from his plate and wave it around before bringing it to your lips. He grins wolfishly, catching your wrist in his hand and before you know what’s happening, he’s snagged the fry from between your fingers with his teeth. His tongue snakes out to the lick the salt from your fingertips, then he chews with a self-satisfied smile.
“I’ll let you have the rest,” he says, holding one up to your lips.
You tentatively lean forward, watching him warily in case he tries to pull it away, then chomp down.
“Just let me know when you want more,” he croons.
You continue to work, constantly aware of Bucky and the way he never takes his eyes off you. You check on him regularly, engaging in some deep conversation even with the little time you have.
As your shift nears its end he calls you over.
“Ice cream and rooftop tonight?” he asks, setting money down on the bar to pay for his food and drinks.
“I can’t tonight.”
He smiles. “No worries doll face. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
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The next night comes quickly, your tired feet aching from marching back and forth between the bar and the pool tables since it’s half price games tonight.
It’s getting late, and despite your best efforts, you can’t help but wonder where Bucky is. Maybe the last time you turned him down was the final straw. You feel a deep twinge of disappointment at the idea.
The door opens, and you look over, your eyes filled with hope, but it’s just some random couple.
You’re stomach grumbles and you realize you’ve had dinner with Bucky the last few nights and now that it’s late and he hasn’t shown you haven’t eaten.
Checking that everyone has full glasses you wipe your hands and head for the kitchen, hoping to snag something to eat.
The chef, Suzanne, greets you warmly. You ask her for a bowl of the soup and she hums in agreement, yelling out for Charlie.
A guy you’ve never seen before pops around the corner.
“Hey, I’m Charlie, the sometimes kitchen help,” he explains holding out his hand.
“Nice to meet you Charlie.”
You give him your name and tell him you’re the new bartender.
His face changes instantly, eyes going wide and his brows shooting up to his hairline. He pulls his hand back quickly.
He’s still smiling but he seems guarded all of a sudden.
“You forgot to mention the most important part…Bucky’s girl.”
“What?” you say incredulously. “I’m not Bucky’s girl! We’re just friends. He just stops by for dinner and a drink!”
You know it’s more than that. Charlie nods like he knows it’s more than that.
“Sure, whatever you say. But no offense, I’m gonna take his word for it. I’ve never seen him do anything like this before. It has the whole neighborhood talkin’.”
With that he disappears, only reappearing a few moments later with your soup, then he runs off again.
You inhale the soup, not wanting to leave Nat alone and rush back to the bar to check the drink orders.
Nat slides up next to you. “Those drinks for table six?”
You don’t answer her, instead filling her in on what happened in the kitchen.
“Charlie said I’m ‘Bucky’s girl.’ I’m not his girl. What does that even mean?”
“Aw that’s sweet! He’s never said anything like that before and I would know. Been living here my whole life.”
“No it’s not!”
“I think it’s sorta romantic,” she says wistfully. “He’s all in, claiming you far and wide when you haven’t even realized what’s right in front of your face!”
She punctuates the last words of her sentence as she stares you down.
“What’s right in front of my face?” you ask, unwilling to concede that it might be the tiniest bit sweet…in a cave man sort of way.
“He’s here,” Nat whispers, but it’s more of squeal.
You turn toward the door, your whole face lighting up even though you’re still mad at the claim he made. The door is closed, Bucky no where in sight.
Nat’s finger is suddenly in your face. “That! You want to see him. You like him coming here to see you too. Shit, when was the last time someone made this much of an effort for a date!”
She throws her hands up! “Just go out with the man!”
“You mean have sex with him?” you bite out, not forgetting about her earlier warnings.
“Either or, maybe both! What could it hurt?”
“Me!” you say defensively.
Nat’s expression softens. “I think maybe I gave you the wrong idea about him…” she fumbles. “What I really mean is I think maybe we all had the wrong idea about him.”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugs with a heavy sigh. “Bucky is man. A hot as fuck man,” she teases. “And he does have a reputation…but only because everyone wishes they could get a piece of him. I really don’t remember the last girl he went out with. So either he’s really quiet about it, but if you haven’t noticed in this neighborhood everyone is up everyone else’s ass, or he hasn’t really dated.”
Nat eyes you carefully, curiously.
“Oh shit,” you mumble, laying your face in your hands. “I do want to go out with him, but I’m scared…have you seen him?”
Nat grins. “Oh yes. I have and…”
“He’s gorgeous. Like drop dead gorgeous,” you finish for her.
“Exactly,” she agrees happily, a dreamy look on her face.
You swat at her shoulder, getting her attention and gesturing to yourself.
“What? You look amazing!” she says. “It’s not like he hasn’t seen you at work before.”
“You don’t think is just a thing because I’m the new girl in the neighborhood?”
“Do people do things like that where you’re from?” she asks. “And no!” she finishes, shaking her head.
Just as her words sink in your heart sinks with them.
“Doesn’t matter anyway. I blew it, he’s not here tonight.”
“Yes he is.”
The door opens and when you look over, it’s him.
Finally!
The air charges across the space between you and you know something has changed and when his eyes meet yours it’s almost as if he knows it too. He nods toward the door, silently asking if you’re ready for that date.
“Hey Nat, you think if I ask Barry to let me off early…”
“I swear if he says no I’ll kick him in the balls myself,” Nat screeches.
You rush back to the office and find Barry sitting behind his desk. Your question rushes out and he holds up a hand to stop you before you even finish.
“Go,” is all he says, but the smile he gives you reaches his eyes.
You cross the room to Bucky, his eyes wandering over you with possessive heat and unguarded want.
When you’re standing right in front of him, your toes touching, he asks, “you ready?”
Your lips lift ever so slightly and when his large hand cups your cheek your eyelashes flutter closed. His motions are slow, teasingly so, but he’s giving you time to stop him. He bends down, letting his intentions be quite clear.
He kisses the corner of your mouth then brushes his lips over yours, so lightly, you can feel his breath. You sigh into him and his hands slide over your curves and down to your waist, his grip tightening.
Nat let’s out a cheer, effectively interrupting the moment but you can’t help but smile at her excitement.
Bucky doesn’t let go of you, his hand sliding into yours as he pulls you out the door and onto the street.
“Hey,” he says soothingly.
“Hi,” you say, tucking your chin.
His fingers press under and he lifts your eyes. “You good?”
He waits patiently for you to formulate a reply.
“I just…I’m not sure…what you expect.”
“Anything, doll. I want to know you, spend time with you.”
Dropping his voice lower and bringing his lips to the shell of your ear, he whispers, “kiss you again…for real this time.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Okay,” he agrees, his voice heavy with intention as he takes you in his arms again and drags you into his chest.
Your lips meet, tender and soft at first but as your fingers dance up his arms and grip his biceps, he growls and takes it deeper.
You moan into his mouth, working your hands higher into the hair that brushes his shoulders.
“Fuck,” he groans when he feels you give his hair a little tug.
He pulls back and you chase him for one last kiss which he happily obliges in.
“I promised you ice cream and a roof top sunrise,” he murmurs. “And I keep my promises doll.”
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@book-dragon-13  @sebstanwhore @late-to-the-party-81 @goldylions @laineyreads @randomfandompenguin @lookiamtrying @beccablogsthings @justkinsey @hallecarey1 @blackwidownat2814 @flordeamatista @buckysdollforlife​
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mickandmusings · 6 months ago
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i. true blue
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part one of the 'hangman & honey' series!
summary: The summer he turned nine, Jake was convinced he'd spend it like any other summer: riding his bike down dirt roads with all the other kids, lending a helping hand on the family farm, and brushing up on his backyard football. His life hits a tailspin when a new family moves into the house just down the road, leading him to a friendship and feelings he never saw coming.
word count: 4.5k
warnings: cute childhood friends to lovers, small sections of angst, tragic backstories and southern traditions. primarily self indulgent. this is written by someone from the most southern small town imaginable, so it's written with love as an ode to my own hometown, enjoy. <3
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In the great state of Texas, just a few hours south of Austin, sits a small town called Haven. It was a fitting name for a town so picturesque-miles and miles of endless farmland, stunning sunsets and sunrises, and the beauty of the state's flora and fauna. However, in all it's Southern small-town glory, it was home to little else. There was the hub of activity 'downtown'-the one school system, a family-owned restaurant, a convenience store, the First Baptist Church of Haven, and a hair salon. On the outskirts of Haven sat a large patch of barbed-wire fenced farmland, one that spanned most of the remaining parts of the small town, more than the eye could see. It was large enough to have its own unpaved road-Seresin Farm Road-and was home to only one house, the Seresin family house.
The Seresin family had owned the land long before the turn of the century, and had been passed down from generation to generation ever since. The Seresin's owned much of Haven to begin with, their farmland excluded. Most of the businesses rented their buildings from Jacob Seresin Sr., with the exception of the school system and the church. Despite their seemingly looming hand of ownership, you'd never know they held power at all. Mrs. Janet Seresin-first lady of the Seresin estate-was known as the town egg lady, always more than happy to pass out dozens of Styrofoam cartons free of charge. She held the unofficial prize of having the best homemade ice cream in all of Haven, and anyone in the small town would attest. Jacob Seresin Sr.-head of the Seresin farm and Janet's husband-was regarded in the same warm fashion. You could find him driving up and down the main street in his trusty red farm truck, often loaded with feed or some kind of good necessary to keep his place up and running. He'd stop and talk to anyone and everyone, literally everyone, he knew. He had been the one to help nearly everyone in his community rebuild after natural disasters, always willing to help someone in need, never asking for anything in return. The Seresin's were Haven's unofficial first family, leaders of sorts, in the small town.
Their son, Jacob Seresin Jr., was elusive and a topic nearly everyone knew to avoid. He had been raised on the family farm, attended the local school, lived and breathed the same life as everyone else, but found himself itching for more. He quickly fell into trouble with the local law, and with a last name like Seresin, he got away with mostly everything, which, perhaps, was his greatest downfall. He had gotten his high school girlfriend-a sweet local girl named Georgia Joann Smith-pregnant their senior year. When she broke the news, he'd taken off in his truck to Kentucky, where it was rumored he still was, looking for something he could never find. Nine months later, Jacob Thomas Seresin III, or 'Jake' as he preferred, was born, healthy, all ten fingers and toes. Just hours after birth, his mother fell gravely ill, and made her own swift exit in death. She left behind only one thing-her son. Jacob Sr. and Janet took him in with no questions asked, raising him as any grandparent would. Jake, luckily, seemed to inherit more of his mother than his father. His blonde hair gleamed in the Texas sun, turning almost gold in the heat-filled summers. His green eyes held his kindness-a sharp contrast to his father's dark brown eyes that seemed to only hold his anger. Jake bore Georgia's gentle soul, her wide smile and her witty personality, she lived on in Jake entirely. So when the new family moved into the empty house at the end of Seresin Farm Road, Janet had zero hesitations in sending Jake down to welcome their new neighbors to Haven. She'd spent the entire morning making homemade bread, having to occasionally swat away Jake's hands from the counter or tell him to completely get out of the kitchen while the loaves cooled. After lunch, she handed him a well-wrapped loaf and gave him instructions to take it to the newcomers, which Jake did without complaint. He'd placed the bread into the metal basket attached to his royal blue bike, trekking down their long and winding driveway. When he'd arrived nearly ten minutes later, he had parked his bike on the edge of the lawn, against a towering oak tree. He made a point to kick the dirt off his shoes, not wanting to track it onto the seemingly freshly painted, white wrap-around porch. He lifts his first to wrap against the door, one with a glass cut-out, much different than the screen door on his farmhouse. He fixed his windswept hair in the reflection of the window, remembering Granny's words of always looking well put together when meeting new people. The door's lock clicked, and when Jake looked up to see the man or lady of the house, he instead had to look down, finding a girl who couldn't be much younger than him. Her eyes were wide as they stared up at him, hair pushed out of her face with colorful butterfly shaped clips. Her eyes were captivating, and all of Jake's intended Southern charm had flown out the window. She smiles shyly at Jake, wondering why this stranger was on her porch.
"Uh, this is for you-or,uh-your parents," his arm extends the bread as he stammered. "My Granny made it, we live at the farm on the end of the road, we-uh, she-wanted to invite you to the neighborhood. I'm Jake."
Jake stuck out a clammy hand for her to shake, and winced internally. His Pawpaw would be reprimanding him if he saw this-it wasn't polite to make a lady shake your hand. Shaking hands was for business deals, and Jake had just shook her hand like she'd bought his show heifer. Jake's mind was clouded for a reason he couldn't explain, and he wasn't thinking straight. The girl blushed and smiled slightly.
"I'm Honey," her voice was quiet but pronounced. "That's not actually my name, but everyone calls me Honey, so, you can call me Honey. Um, is your house the one with the big magnolia tree in the front?"
Jake nodded quickly. Her eyes widened, shimmering with something Jake couldn't make out. Quietness settled over them before Honey spoke again.
"Is that your bike?" Honey points at his bike leaning against the tree.
"Yeah! Most kids ride their bikes everywhere here."
"C-Could I ride with you, maybe?" Her voice was suddenly shy, no longer meeting Jake's eyes. "It's just summer and I-I don't know anyone yet and-"
"Yes!" Jake cut her off, and mentally scolded himself, but as Honey flashed him a wide smile he couldn't find himself caring. She tossed the bread on the table just inside the door, slid on her purple jelly sandals and shut the door behind her. She led Jake to the empty garage, only full of empty moving boxes and a bright yellow bike. As she led them out of the garage and towards the edge of the yard, Jake's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her.
"Shouldn't you let your momma know you left, leave her a note or somethin'?"
Honey's eyes cut to her feet, her smile fading.
"She won't care, I'll be back before she will. S-She's a nurse, works the night shift at the old folks home in the next town over."
Jake nodded but said nothing, pedaling off on his own bike to lead her back down to his farm.
From that moment on, Jake and Honey were practically inseparable. The entire summer was spent with a blue bike parked next to a yellow one, swimming in the creek behind Jake's house, and running around the farm with nothing but their imagination and makeshift stick swords. Jake's Border Collie, John Wayne, became a frightening dragon of their imagination, and Honey taught Jake how to make flower crowns from the wildflowers in the fields. Janet had grown fond of looking out her front window to see Honey sitting next to Jake under her magnolia tree, reading her Boxcar Children book as much as she could with Jake chattering next to her. Even when Jake was busy with his farm chores, Honey would sit placidly under the tree, enjoying the occasional breeze as she read her book of the week. After the long summer, Jacob Sr. had started referring to it as "Honey's tree," and he'd laugh to himself every time he saw the girl sitting quietly under it. Both Janet and Jacob Sr. loved having the sweet but shy girl around, especially when they found out that she spent most of her time alone in that house down the road. On the last night before summer ended, Jake and Honey sat under the tree, swatting at mosquitoes as the Texas sun set. Jake looked over at Honey, who had finally put her book down, and asked:
"Why do you like this tree so much?"
She smiled a smile that Jake knew to be half-hearted and brought her knees to her chest, her chin resting on her kneecaps.
"It reminds me of home."
Honey had moved from her tiny town in Mississippi that summer, and she often talked of her home there, the friends and family she'd left behind, how her mother had left when her grandmother died, looking for a fresh start.
"My Gram had a tree like this in her yard, and she'd babysit me when Mom worked," Honey's eyes rested on the ground, where she was picking grass from the ground around her bare feet. "She'd read to me a lot, and it was my favorite place in the world. Sometimes when I read here it sort of feels like I never left."
Jake simply nodded, thinking of the mother he'd only met in pictures, and the grandparents he wouldn't trade for the world's richest man. Neither of them spoke a word about the statement she made, but they understood what it meant to both of them. Even at age nine, Jake was in love with the girl next door, even if he didn't know it yet. From the first year they met and every year after, Jake and Honey found themselves under the magnolia blossoms. Well, almost every year...
As the budding teens entered into their freshman year at Haven High School, the differences between their personalities became more apparent than ever. Jake was the ideal all-American southern boy: athletic, outgoing, someone who guys high-fived in the hallway, and one that girls would be late to class just to get a glimpse of. Jake was never one to let the attention get to his head, at least not too much. Sure, he enjoyed the feeling of being liked, and, sure, he could be cocky at times, but he was never the one to bully those completely different from him. Someone like Honey. Honey had always been quiet, shy by nature, and the very definition of an advanced student. She was beloved by her teachers, but not as well received by her classmates. With a town as small as Haven, it was either incredibly easy or incredibly hard to make friends, and for Honey, it seemed to be the latter. It wasn't as if Honey was perpetually odd-she wasn't homely or weird, just quiet. Jake was the only one who knew about her boisterous laugh that could be prompted with his corny jokes, or her wild streak, like sneaking into his bedroom window after she and her mother got into yet another fight.
At the beginning of the school year, she spent her breaks talking to Jake, and she sat next to him at lunch. He'd let her ramble about her current read, and he'd talk about yesterday's football practice. She'd leave with the promise to come around for dinner, Mrs. Janet was making her favorite. However, when football season started, and Jake had made an infamous saving play at one of the first few games, he had peaked in popularity. Honey found herself on the outside of his swarm of new friends, listening to him talk to his football buddies while the girls that followed shot her sympathetic or lethal glances. She'd ignored it at first, simply enjoying her paperback until Jake could spare himself a minute to talk to her. Eventually, the bell would sound before she even got the chance to say 'hello' to him, and, with her heart suddenly heavy, she'd make her way to class. The routine lasted for weeks and she'd find herself waiting by the phone, figuring Jake would call her after football practice, but she'd only be greeted with silence through the night. After the second week of no contact, she decided to leave Jake and his new friends to their own devices, opting to sit in the library for breaks, taking her lunch in the empty courtyard. It was like Jake hadn't noticed her absence at all, at least in her mind, but Jacob Sr. and Janet noticed immediately. They had missed her bright aura that lit up their farmhouse, watching as she greeted the dogs as she parked her now lilac bike in the driveway. Janet missed her companionship as Honey would watch her sew patches onto Jacob Sr. and Jake's clothes, and her husband missed catching up with her over dinner. The only time they'd see her anymore would be on Friday nights, at Jake's games. She'd sit in the bleachers with them, decked out in her navy blue and gold, watching intently as the boys in jerseys made their way up and down the field. At the end of the game, she'd say her goodbyes before Jake would find his grandparents and they wouldn't see her until the following Friday. In typical grandparent fashion, Janet had assumed Jake had done something. Her grandson was kind, gentlemanly, but he also had a sharp tongue and a big head, which he sometimes used in malice. So, over dinner one Thursday, Janet finally dipped her toes into the water.
"Maybe you should talk to Honey after the game tomorrow, she always seems to slip away before you two get to catch up."
Jake's eyebrows furrowed as he wiped his mouth, looking up at his grandmother.
"Honey? At a football game? Granny, I don't really think that's her scene. She hates when we have a pep rally at school, I don't think she's going to a football game voluntarily."
Jacob Sr. and Janet give each other a knowing look across the table.
"How blind are ya, son?" Jacob Sr.'s voice is accusatory.
Jake looks up from his plate, looking over at his grandfather with a confused look.
"She's been at every game this season, Jake," his grandmother's voice speaks, much softer than her husbands. "She sits next to us in the stands. When was the last time you two talked? Just the two of you?"
Jake scoffs at his grandmother's accusation, his head shaking as he tried to wrack his brain for the last time he'd talked to his best friend.
"Maybe a week or so ago, I-I can't remember."
"That's a damn shame," Jacob Sr.'s voice grumbled. "She's a sweet girl, smart too. I know she doesn't run the same circles as you and your new buddies, but she's a good friend Jake, and you're treatin' her as if she doesn't exist. She still comes to all of those games. I'm not tellin' you what to do, but maybe give her a call, and pray to the Lord above that she wants to talk to your dumb ass."
Jake's heart sank as he carried out his nightly farm chores that night, thinking of how he had treated Honey. He knew what the other girls in the group said about her, how she was 'quiet' and 'weird,' often making comments that were completely false or disrespectful. Jake always shut the comments down, but found himself not bothering to talk to the one person who had always been there for him. Was it his fear of his new friends thinking he was weird? Did he think he wouldn't be surrounded by his football buddies if they saw him talking to someone like Honey? As Jake shut the barn door, he sighed, deciding he didn't care about either. Honey had been his friend for years, long before high school or popularity, or stupid teenage rules. She'd never changed, she was still the girl he fell in love with all those years ago. That night, as he sat by the phone thinking of what to say, he'd heard the faintest knock on his door. He figured it was his Granny coming to tell him goodnight, so he made quick work of making his way to the door and flinging it open. Instead of his grandmother, Honey stood in front of him. She held an algebra textbook in her arms, her eyes never meeting his, her arms crossed protectively. Her eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot, tear streaks staining her cheeks. She'd been crying, and Jake knew Honey all too well, her tears had nothing to do with the algebra assignment. Something had happened to her.
"Uh, hey, I-I know it's late, and I didn't want to bother you, but I've been workin' on this stupid algebra assignment for three hours, and i-it's not making a lick of sense. You-You're the only person I know who could help me, so if you could just show me how to do one, I'll be out of your hair. I know you have a game tomorrow, and you should really sleep-"
Honey was rambling, picking the skin around her fingernails, she was nervous. It shattered his heart in his chest, he could never remember a time when she was nervous around him.
"No, no, you're fine, Honey. C'mere."
He opened the door wide for her to come in. She nodded in thanks, hovering awkwardly in the space between his bed and his desk. Any other time she'd plop herself down on his plaid comforter, all but curling into the sheets and falling asleep. Now, she didn't know what to do. She hadn't spoken to him in weeks, and he was different now. He wasn't just Jake, her Jake, he was Jake Seresin, up and coming star of their hometown football team, someone that a person like her should avoid in the hallway, someone that shouldn't even be talking to her.
He pushed the chair of his desk out for her, figuring she'd feel more comfortable there. She laid her textbook and notebook out flat, opening the book to the dozens of equations she couldn't make out. Honey was incredibly smart, but as her math classes advanced, she found herself staring at her own notes in utter confusion.
"Um, so, this is on polynomials," she started. "But I couldn't even tell you what a fuckin' polynomial is and I'm starting to lose my mind."
Jake quickly noted the physical manifestation of her worry-her hair messy with the way she had been running her hands through it, the chipped nail polish on her nails, and her chewing on her bottom lip. His heart ached, how had he not noticed her struggling? They were in the same class, she sat two chairs in front of him.
"Honey, I'm sorry."
She didn't even spare him a look.
"It's not your fault I'm stupid, Jake."
Jake took her arm in a light hold, turning her to look at him.
"I'm not talkin' about algebra, and you're not stupid, first of all. You're one of the smartest people I know. I'm talkin' about the way I've been actin'. It's not fair to you, I've been an ass. I've been ignoring you at school, treatin' you as if you aren't even there. You've come to all my games and I didn't even know. Thanks for that, by the way, but, I mean it, Honey. I'm sorry."
Honey shrugs, her face sprouting a faint pink blush.
"'S fine, people grow up, move on. You don't have to apologize for leaving me for people more like-minded. I get it, I don't necessarily fit the mold of your new friend group. It's okay. They seem to really like you though, and you seem happy. Plus Sam is...she's pretty. I get why you wouldn't want me hanging around."
"Sam?" Jake's voice was confused. Sam was a cheerleader, and she was friends with the girlfriends of his teammates. They had a passing conversation from time to time, but they weren't dating. "What're you talkin' about?"
Honey's brow furrowed, tapping her pencil's eraser against her book.
"Sam Vance told me like the third or fourth week of school that you were together, around the same time we stopped talking. I just assumed that was why you didn't want to talk anymore. It's sort of the reason I've kept my distance."
Jake's blood boiled, he was not dating Sam Vance. She was heinously mean, even to her own 'friends.'
"Honey," Jake started, his eyes full of sympathy, his flash of anger flickering. "I'm not dating her, not by a long shot. I don't know why she lied to you, I've never said more than a few sentences to one another, she's...mean. She's vicious, I'm sorry."
Honey's head only shook in a nonchalant manner. She was good at this, pushing people away, Jake had noticed it over the years. After years of practically raising herself, those she loved either abandoning her or leaving her in death, she expected everyone to leave. Honey herself knew that someday Jake would leave her, just like everyone else, so when he pulled away, she didn't bother trying to stop it, no matter how it hurt.
"Stop that. I know what I did was shitty, and it seemed like I didn't want you there, but this isn't me dumping you off, Honey. I swear. And I know something's wrong, you're not crying because of a homework assignment. If it's because of what happened between us, I'll do anythin' to make it up to you-"
Honey's bottom lip trembles, her eyes lining with tears as she shakes her head. She looks up at Jake, pain clouding her usually kind eyes.
"You don't have to worry about me, Jake."
"No I don't," he stated honestly. "I want to, Honey. You're my best friend, and you're hurtin'. You may not need me, but I want to help you. I know I haven't been a good friend, the worst actually, but talk to me, please."
Honey looks at her lap, bringing her knees to her chest in an action of protection Jake was familiar with-every time she has to get vulnerable, it's her defensive action, as if curling up in a ball would save her from hurt.
"For what it's worth," Honey started, her voice small and quiet. "I really don't understand polynomials, like, at all. But you're right, it's more than that." She pauses and takes a deep breath, Jake's heart shattering. Her inability to speak freely, the bags under her eyes, her nervous habit at the forefront-he'd never seen her so tired, so heavy.
"About a week ago, I came home and all of my mom's stuff was gone. I mean, all of it, her bedroom was completely empty. She left a note on the kitchen table." Her eyes focus on the Cowboys poster on the back of Jake's door, her eyes dulling. "She decided to move in with her boyfriend, and he-he doesn't even know she has a child, so she left the house for me. Which is fine, we never got along anyway, it's just been...lonely. She pays the bills and leaves money, so it's not like I'm fending for myself, but, it just really sucks she doesn't really care about me. I guess it shouldn't, but-" She pauses, eyes dazed out, silent tears running down her cheeks. "Sorry for the soapbox, I just, it all is piling up, and now I'm crying over polynomials." She laughs dryly. "Just, God I've missed you, Jake. I sort of pushed myself away from you because I thought you'd found people you'd rather spend your time with. I'm nothing like you interest wise, and-"
"Stop putting yourself down, I won't stand for it." Jake looks at her as she laughs in a quiet manner, hands wiping away her silent tears. Jake moves directly in front of her, making eye contact. "I mean it. You're ten times cooler than any of them. Most of the guys on the team, pretty laid back, cool, but all they ever want to talk about is football and how hot so-and-so is, and their girlfriends? Worse, by a thousand, at least most of them. I'd like to think I'm not that shallow, right?"
Jake Seresin was a lot of things, but shallow was not one of them.
"Please hang out with me tomorrow? I'll have Granny pick you up for school. You and I are going to talk until the bell rings, you've got to catch me up on that Scarlett girl in that book you were reading last time we talked. I'm sitting with you at lunch because Granny made me promise to bring you lunch, and you gotta catch me up on last week's Dawson's Creek episode. Then I'll see you at the game, and we can swing by The Burger Basket, you, me, burgers, fries, a strawberry shake for you and a chocolate one for me."
Honey laughed, nodding her head, her heart warming as she heard Jake ask for the things she thought he found annoying-her ranting about the books she was reading, or the TV shows she was watching. She wiped her tears, standing and hugging the blonde boy who knew her better than herself sometimes. Her chest felt lighter, it felt good to be known so incredibly well. He squeezed her tight before she let go. (Jake never, ever, let go first.) She sits back in the desk chair, sliding in next to Jake, her head falling on his shoulder.
"So," she spoke after a moment of silence. "Polynomials?"
Jake chuckles.
"Let's make a deal, Hon. I explain to you how to solve these equations, and you explain to me what the hell Shakespeare is talking about in those English assignments for Mrs. Elmer's class?"
Honey laughs, she and Jake were both good students, but in two very different subjects.
"You've got yourself a deal, J."
Jake smirks, taking the pencil that sat in the crevice of the book, his scratchy handwriting across her paper as he attempted to explain. In a matter of minutes, Honey began to understand, a smile forming as she grasped the concepts. Jake's green eyes met hers in the light of his desk lamp, glimmering, and the breath in his chest catches, his heart hammering. His palms sweat around the pencil and he can't look away from her.
"You alright, Seresin?" Honey's voice is laced with humor, and it snaps him out of his trance.
"Y-Yeah."
Jake had lied, he had just realized, for the first time since Jake had known Honey, he was beginning to see her as something more than just his best friend. When he looked at Honey, he noticed something he'd never noticed before, she was beautiful.
-
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evermoredeluxe · 4 months ago
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How Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour Took Over the Entire World
By Chris Willman
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By Alissa Gao for Variety
On the morning that Taylor Swift’s “Eras Tour” is about to begin a three-night stand in Dublin, the older gentleman taking charge of my passport at airport customs has clearly had his fill of Swifties, probably processing them by the hundreds already today. When I reveal myself to be one too — despite being arguably the wrong gender, inarguably old and lacking a telltale “Lover” mascara star over my right eye — his disdain is palpable. Suddenly, I’m getting way more screening questions than anyone not on a watch list should. “What do you like about her?” he sneers, peering up over specs.
This is probably the wrong time for me to point out Swift’s Irish heritage, or to assert that she is this generation’s James Joyce. (The original king of the Easter eggs, right?) I wouldn’t really go that far — I’m only on record as doing my best to certify her as this century’s Beatles. Trying to figure out how to answer him, the past 18 years of extolling Swift in print flash before my eyes. I end up murmuring the bare minimum: “Um, her songwriting.” This seems to disturb him further. He snaps back: “Aren’t they all the same song” — a slight pause, and I know what’s coming next — “about her breakups?” Then, abruptly, he stamps me through, sparing me a detour to Interpol for more grilling.
In the cab into town, the driver is blasting a local talk-radio personality sharing his dismay about the fans of an awful superstar taking over his country. The host reads an email sent in from a hater who says, “A year ago, when tickets went on sale, my partner and I made a reservation to take our kids out of the country this Friday morning. … Thank you for creating a safe space with your show.” I start to wonder if Swift might have met her match at the Cliffs of Moher.
But from my drop-off forward, the next three days are like living in a Swift-topia. The mile and a half to Aviva Stadium each night is like Disneyland when it shuts its doors early for an affinity group. Whether stopping in the pubs or walking through the charming neighborhood of Victorian brick homes adjoining the fancy new stadium, there’s that warm feeling of people who are united by one quality: They are all super in touch with their feelings — or else they wouldn’t be Swift fans. And they all are happy to stop on the street or over pints to talk about poetical expression. (Well, except for the occasional taciturn, invariably straight young male who has signified his supportive-plus-one status by wearing a jersey bearing the name of Swift’s Super Bowl beau, Travis Kelce.)
So it is that I end up chatting with a middle-aged gay man in a sequin-covered shirt whose female companion whispers to me, while he steps away to trade friendship bracelets with a 10-year-old girl and her mum, that Swift’s music just helped him through a difficult breakup. The girl then runs off to trade her homemade bracelets with a pair of high-helmeted Dublin policemen loaded up to their own elbows with friendship swag — unexpected accessories for long arms of the law.
All the stories about American Swifties swarming overseas to catch “The Eras Tour” turn out to be true: You couldn’t swing a neon golf club around here without hitting a Yank. Approximately one out of every five fans I approach is visiting from the States — and the jubilation they’re feeling about the night’s impending concert is compounded by the fact that nearly all of them financed a European vacation and a concert ticket for roughly the same amount they would have paid on a secondary ticketing site for a typical four-figure ticket to one of last year’s predatorily repriced U.S. shows.
Remember the venerable stereotype of the Ugly Americans, brusquely trampling over refined Europeans in their travels? Thanks to Taylor Swift, who has a gift for laying out global welcome mats, this is the summer of the Spangly American.
At the stadium on night one, just down the row from me are a group of millennials from New Jersey, several in glam unitards inspired by the “Lover” or “1989” portions of the career-spanning show and looking like they were costumed by Swift’s own designer, with fake jewel-encrusted microphones to match. I ask how many hours went into perfecting these nearly pro-grade outfits.
“About 80 hours for mine,” says Megan McLaughlin. “Hers probably longer,” she adds, nodding toward one of her sisters, Margo Steinberg. “She knows all the glues and the best gems.” Indeed, confirms Steinberg, “I was working on mine since January. And, yes, I did quit my job to finish it!” She adds, when I ask if she cares to share any secrets to a particularly good look, “You have to use the B-7000 glue.” (A third sister, Amelia McLaughlin, admits she resorted to buying her spangly dress off Etsy — “I was doing a PhD, but I had to match these girls’ enthusiasm” — while a fourth, Carolyn McLaughlin, skipped the glitter and went for a red dress that matches Swift’s from the “I Bet You Think About Me” video.)
Certainly, there is an element of cosplay to many of the fans’ outfits. Some have seen footage of the new segment Swift added to the tour beginning in April 2024 — devoted to her most recent album, the 31-song “Tortured Poets Department” — and have managed to manufacture gowns that look like they’re made of paper and feature lyric excerpts printed on them in script, à la Swift’s custom-made Vivienne Westwood dress. I meet a group of American women who became friends as literature majors in college who have “Tortured Poets”-themed outfits, one duplicating the Westwood dress and the other with handmade printouts of the latest album’s lyrics pinned all over her black dress, as if she were literally pulling pages out of Swift’s playbook.
It’s the devotion to lyrics, even more than glitter, that is most impressive about the bespoke outfits fans have concocted for the occasion. There are scores and scores of Swifties wearing homemade T-shirts — sometimes singular, sometimes matching with a friend, like walking Burma-Shave signs. Some of the messages are obvious, like the dozens of laddies wearing “It’s me, hi, I’m the husband/boyfriend/father, it’s me” shirts. (Bet that seemed really original at one time.) But a lot of them refer to more obscure songs or stanzas, as if every nearby street or stadium loge section is full of human Easter eggs, begging to be unpacked. It’s hard to think of any other superstar in the history of stadium tours who could have inspired as much fan-crafted clothing rooted in the power of words.
Combos of middle-aged mothers and their teen or 20-something daughters abound; some of them have seized on Swift’s mentions of her own mother, Andrea, to come up with their T-shirt ideas. On Lansdowne Road, I talk to a mum whose red-on-black shirt says, “Had to listen to all this drama,” accompanied by a daughter bearing the legend, “And here’s to my mama.” (This is a reference to Swift’s song “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.”)
Later, in a stadium Guinness line, I chat up a pair of thirsty locals, the daughter’s shirt reading “I call my mom, she said …,” with the mom’s shirt completing the thought: “It was for the best.” (Damn it, I had to Google to recall that’s from a “1989” Vault track that came out last year.) I ask the daughter if she had to explain to her mom what she was wearing. “She’s 52,” she replies. “I don’t think she knows.”
Age is really no guarantor of not getting it — the popular #SwiftieOver50 hashtag on X proves that. Although outnumbered, plenty of older people are unaccompanied by a minor, or by anyone who has been a minor in the past 20 years. I approach a middle-aged couple, Jean Sebastian Conley and Natasha Gagne, again bidden by their matching shirts — “Who’s Taylor Swift?” and “Who’s Travis Kelce?” They turn out to be French Canadians who found their 206-euro SRO tickets to be a steal compared with the extravagant resale prices they briefly considered back home after being shut out of the initial on-sale. I ask what attracted them to Swift since, unlike so many others here, they didn’t grow up with her.
“I really fell in love with her with the ‘Folklore’ album,” Conley says, referring to her low-key Grammy-winning album recorded during the early months of the pandemic. “I think different audiences and older audiences found her through that and ‘Evermore’ because they were more singer-songwriter, a little bit rougher indie music, and that’s what we like most. So that’s how I got hooked.” For her part, Gagne says, “I like everything she represents. And when she redid all her masters, that’s where I thought she was a lady boss.”
It’s a reminder that, for however many mini-narratives Swift packs into the three hours and 20 minutes of an “Eras” show, there are really four or five years of backstory that feed into the audience’s shared awareness. When she sings the ominous ballad “My Tears Ricochet,” accompanied by a coven of stone-faced dancers, at least some fans will understand it as a distant reflection of her very public feelings about the men she considers her business bêtes noires, Scooter Braun and Scott Borchetta, who bought and sold (respectively) the rights to her first six albums, spawning much vitriol as well as four “Taylor’s Version” rerecorded albums to date.
When the dancers put their grins back on, Swift plays an ebullient excerpt of a very recent “Poets” bonus track, “So High School,” which every person in the crowd will know is inspired by Kelce. There are some breakup songs of recent vintage too — yes, Mr. Customs Man! — like “The Smallest Man in the World,” which may or may not have cost Matty Healy, the 1975 frontman and former Swift paramour, a night of sleep.
The whole tour is themed around not just the newer records but the rerecordings that have made every older album in her catalog feel improbably fresh. It was, quite possibly, the single most baller move in the history of the record industry … and led to the career-retrospective concept for what is already unquestionably the biggest tour in the history of popular music.
Any discussion of the charms of fandom isn’t meant to forestall discussion of “The Eras Tour” as big business. The numbers are fuzzy because Swift’s camp does not release grosses from her shows, unlike nearly every other artist at the stadium or arena level. Even when the tour wraps after 20 months on Dec. 8 in Vancouver, it seems likely those numbers will continue to be guarded with a zeal on par with the government of North Korea’s. Many industry experts believe the gross will approach or even surpass $2 billion.
What is known for certain — even without a confirmation from Swift World — is that she broke the all-time tour-gross figure when she hit the $1 billion mark, whenever exactly that might have been. The two trade publications that specialize in the touring industry have slightly differing estimates: Billboard calculated a cumulative gross of approximately $900 million when she took a break at the end of 2023, figuring that she would crack $1 billion shortly into the tour’s resumption in April, while Pollstar estimated that she had passed $1 billion by the conclusion of last year. Any way you guesstimate it, Swift took less than a year to break the previous record of $939.1 million, which Elton John grossed with his “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” tour across nearly three years of shows.
One source close to the production said early in the “Eras Tour” era that her average gross each night is $14 million. Others believe that is a highly conservative estimate, with a possible total that on at least some nights edges closer to $17 million. One remarkable aspect is that this does not include the revenue from any inflated resale tickets — which, as anyone who has tried to get tickets through Vivid Seats or StubHub knows, mostly have gone for several times their face value. It was little publicized, but Swift had “dynamic pricing” turned off for her ticket sales, possibly to avoid the controversies Bruce Springsteen encountered when the face value on some of his tickets leaped to the four-figure range upon their first sale. Swift left money on the table by not participating in the scalping of her own tickets, which had an average price of around $230 and topped out at $499, excepting VIP packages, which zenithed at $899 — all well short of what some other superstars ask nowadays. Of course, neither Argentina nor anyone at Wembley Stadium ahead of Swift’s opening night performance in June will be crying for her when she’s in reach of $2 billion without the resale inflation … not to mention the hundreds of millions of dollars in merch.
(This is extraordinary also because Swift hasn’t done any press to promote the tour, except for when she was selected as Time Magazine’s Person of the Year in December. But she doesn’t need to — the tour is constantly being celebrated on social media with every outfit change. And it’s also become so huge, it’s featured more A-list sightings than the Oscars, from Julia Roberts to Tom Cruise to Stevie Nicks, who had the surprise song “You’re on Your Own, Kid” dedicated to her in Dublin.)
Benson Boone, whose “Beautiful Things” is the most-streamed song of 2024 in the U.S. and the world, says he felt dwarfed when performing as the opening act at one of Swift’s seven shows at London’s Wembley Stadium. He has forever committed to memory the exact attendance figure he was given for the night: “89,497,” he says. “Just her stage alone is bigger than anything I’ve ever seen — 300 feet of it!” he says. “I took in every moment. It was cool for me to experience another artist’s world and learn from it. I want to work that hard and be the captain of my ship.”
Although it’s maddening to a media that likes official box office reports and can’t get them, it’s easy to see the wisdom in not flaunting those figures if you’re a superstar artist who counts on being seen as relatable. Swift certainly is proud of breaking records — she posted a tweet when “The Tortured Poets Department” spent its first 12 weeks at No. 1 on the album chart, one of only three albums in history to do so. But she’d rather count fan impressions than dollars. By the same token, she doesn’t publicize or confirm acts of generosity that leak out, like the sizable food-bank donations she makes in every city she tours, or the $100,000 bonuses that the tour’s 50 truck drivers reportedly got for Christmas.
An addendum to all this is how the “Eras Tour” film — released last fall, less than halfway through the actual tour — grossed just over $180 million domestically and $261 million globally, beating the records set by Justin Bieber’s concert film in the U.S. and Michael Jackson’s globally. Massive big-screen spoilers only heightened, rather than diminished, resale demand for the shows yet to come on the 152-date tour and helped precipitate the movement among Americans to head overseas, to make up for the supply found sorely lacking at home.
“She is the torchbearer for the live industry,” says Andy Gensler, editor of Pollstar. “It’s nothing we’ve ever seen before, and it’ll be a long time before we see it again. Her timing was exquisite: The pandemic created this yearning and hunger for live entertainment like nothing else in our history, so she couldn’t have picked a better time to go out.” Pollstar called last year a “historic golden age” for touring, as the top 100 global tours collectively surpassed $9 billion — up 46% from 2022 — with Swift obviously contributing a significant chunk of that total. (This year, the trade reports that overall tour attendance is down, with flat grosses, representing a slight reckoning for the live industry that, obviously, isn’t impacting “Eras.”)
“What my partners and I talk a lot about is how it’s one thing to have a big tour in North America. It’s another thing to have an equally big tour wherever you are in the world and to do doubles and triples in these markets,” says Bernie Cahill, an Activist founding partner and manager of acts including the Grateful Dead and the Lumineers. “It’s an anomaly. It’s not normal. And don’t forget, you’re going into what I call asymmetric venues, which are venues that are not really built for music; these are venues that are built for football games or soccer games and can be very challenging to do music. And they get it right every time — Louis Messina [Swift’s tour promoter since her earliest days] and his team are world-class.” But for all that globe-trotting, he notes, “there are some artists that you see do a show and you know they don’t even know what city they’re in. I always feel like Taylor knows exactly where she is. She has a relationship with that city or that market and those fans and she’s connected to them in ways that are very authentic, that you can’t fake.”
The one big snafu in the rollout of “The Eras Tour” occurred in November 2022 when the Ticketmaster system melted down after too many North American dates went on sale at once, causing thousands of fans to experience long delays. The on-sale broke the all-time record for tickets sold in a single day at 2 million, but it also nearly broke the world’s largest ticketing platform. Swift herself was Teflon in this situation, as the blame fell on a ticketing system not capable of handling so much of the Swift-loving world at once. And although most of the problems people have with Ticketmaster are different from what fans faced in the “Eras Tour” debacle — mainly, hidden fees and monopolistic practices — it could have big legislative consequences anyway. Dean Budnick, co-author of “Ticket Masters: The Rise of the Concert Industry and How the Public Got Scalped,” believes that the Swift hullabaloo was the main catalyst for Congress enacting reform. “There’s no question that perhaps there’s gonna be some meaningful change in ticketing as a result of what people experienced with that on-sale.”
That sense Cahill spoke about of the singer making it clear to an audience she knows exactly where she’s at is in full force in Dublin. Swift introduces the “Folklore”/”Evermore” segment by suggesting that she had a spiritual locale in mind when she started writing that more intimate material, locked in during the first part of the pandemic. “It keeps me up at night all year long: Which era is the most Irish?” she half-jokes to the crowd. “I’m gonna make a case for it being ‘Folklore’ … This album’s imaginary world had a whole aesthetic — like I lived in this cabin in a really green, nature-y, moss-covered landscape. You see where I’m going?… Another thing that I think makes it more Irish than the other eras is, ‘Folklore’ was all about storytelling. And I know you hear this a lot, but you guys are naturally gifted storytellers, right?”
Later on, Swift will cement the local connection by playing, as a “secret” surprise acoustic song, “Sweet Nothing.” She doesn’t have to give the crowd any explanation for that: From the first notes, Irish Swifties will immediately recall that the lyrics reference to the coastal town of Wicklow. The real cherry on top of the show for locals at any international Eras Tour stop, though, comes with a customized moment each night during “We Are Never Getting Back Together” when the spotlight is put on backing dancer Kameron Saunders for a couple of seconds, as he blurts out something locally appropriate, and cheeky. One night in Dublin, it’s the Irish catchphrase “the neck of ye!”; on another, he yells out “pog mo thoin,” meaning “kiss my ass!”; the massive, knowing laugh that inside joke gets makes it clear this isn’t entirely an audience of American tourists after all.
But the basic theatrics and emotional currents remain consistent from show to show. If Swift is surprisingly reticent to make her “Eras Tour” numbers public, that may be, in part, her desire to keep the focus primarily on a personal fan connection. Music industry veterans are taken aback by Swift’s ability to be giant and intimate onstage. “She’s a master marketer of herself — and she is not afraid to be vulnerable to her fans,” says Michele Bernstein, who runs a consultancy that works with stars like Drake. Bernstein could almost be quoting the lyrics of “Mastermind,” where Swift describes herself in almost comically omniscient terms, then dives into a bridge about how no one would play with her as a little girl.
People like my guardian of the customs gate may complain about Swift’s songs centering on her romantic splits, but that subject matter magnifies her own insecurities and weaknesses, expressed in genuinely eccentric wordplay, in ways that keep the audience in thrall to someone they perceive as a humble underdog as well as a veritable cage fighter. She could do a $10 billion tour someday and still keep the crowd enraptured by how she measures up to, or rallies to exceed, the smallest man — or men, or Kardashians — in the world.
This plays out in the “Eras” show in all sorts of symbolic ways, like the new segment in the “Tortured Poets” section where she seems to have fainted from the vapors of failed romance. Dancers in tuxedos try to revive her while a swing version of “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” plays over the PA. A pair of women dressed as nurses fit her with what looks like a majorette’s uniform — or, with all its off-white stripes, is it really meant to resemble a straitjacket? The resemblance is probably not coincidental. Swift fans know there’s nothing like a mad woman.
The most exhilarating moment that has been added to the show this year has her gliding down the ramp on a platform, appearing to anyone at floor level like she is levitating like the witch she makes herself out to be in “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” Taylor Swift: She was Agatha all along!
Yes, there is much to unpack. But in Dublin and in every other city where “Eras” has alighted, there is also pure inspiration for those who maybe haven’t always felt like they’ve had a voice, whether it’s her LGBTQ+ fan base or, well, women. It’s a modern transmutation of Beatlemania in which Swift manages to be all four Fabs, and a mirror, as well as object, of that gaze. You don’t have to be a woman to experience the explosion of pure female joy that takes place on a mass scale at an “Eras” gig, but for men, it doesn’t hurt to have a healthy sense of where you might sit on the female spectrum.
Outside Aviva Stadium, two young Londoners have formed their own two-woman straight-gay alliance: One is wearing a shirt with the hand- drawn words “You’re obsessive and crazy,” and the other’s shirt has the phrase “You’re gay,” each with an arrow pointing to the other. This echoes the original lyrics to Swift’s 2006 oldie “Picture to Burn,” which was rerecorded after some were offended by “gay” as a possible teen epithet. “I am obsessive and crazy, and she is gay,” laughs Zoe Gibson, pointing to her friend, India Day. “We want to bring back the original lyrics. We never found them homophobic — we want to reclaim it.” Day adds, “We’ve listened to her since we were 4 years old, so obviously there’s the nostalgia factor. But for me, she speaks on quite a lot of issues like gay rights and feminism, and all of her songs perfectly sum up the experience of being a woman.”
Some of the shirts are apropos for Pride Month. Seeing a boy of no older than 15 or 16 wearing a homemade “But Daddy I Love Him” shirt (the title of a “Tortured Poets” fan favorite), it’s easy to imagine some courage was required to don that apparel. Along the same lines, I spot any number of women making their own statement in shirts with the modified exclamation “But Daddy I Love Her.”
Gay or straight, 6 years old or 60-something, female or just female-allied, the crowd inside gets its sway on early in the show, with the arrival of the gentle, waltz-time “Lover.” It’s not one of the big set-pieces of this nonstop Broadway-style production — the spotlight is just on Swift and her acoustic guitar — but it might be the one where the entire audience feels like it’s at a four-minute campfire. No wicked witchiness here, just winsomeness.
Down on the floor, I’m seeing what amounts to a Taylor Swift mosh pit: gangs of two or three or five young women, ignoring the fact that Swift herself is just yards away from them on the ramp. They’re singing and acting out every last line to each other, as if the superstar isn’t even towering right over them. A waste of their euros? Hardly. Swift will capture their full attention again as the show proceeds, but in the moment, she isn’t just a superstar — she might be the world’s greatest community organizer.
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undead-supernova · 10 days ago
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Chapter 2 - Series Masterlist
pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader
plot: you and Eddie decide you're both showing up. grab some beer, bowl. let that melted cheese on your nachos bring you to a state of vulnerability.
wc: 6k
cw: bickering, smoking, bowling, and alcohol consumption
fic title reference: We Are Going To Be Friends by The White Stripes
I Saw the TV Glow was a big inspiration for this chapter. I don't know how to explain that. They couldn't be more opposite storylines. It did spark this idea so I still have to shout it out. And I listened to the soundtrack while writing it! Beautiful.
p.s. if you havent seen I Saw the TV Glow, you totally should. it's a very important story about queerness and one of the best movies to be released this year. anyways don't think about that right now. instead, go ahead and read this chapter that I'm very proud of. watch the movie after.
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There once was a boy who made your impressionable heart swell. He was the class clown, the certified It Boy of your middle school class. Not a jock by any stretch of the imagination, all lanky and desperate for just a touch of peach fuzz on his upper lip. But he was charming. And funny. And cute.
He made the girls giggle and twirl their hair, imitating the exaggerations of television. They would wear makeup to school, always quick to pass around tubes of lip gloss as soon as they left their mothers’ cars. 
You, however, stayed true to yourself. You tried the natural approach, quite certain that he would like you if you didn’t act like the other girls. Sure, he never looked your way. He never gave you a second thought. But, for some reason, that meant something to you.
The day you were assigned a seat next to him in English, he’d forgotten his book. This was your shot. This was your moment. So you offered to share yours, heads huddled together to peer down at the pages of Catcher in the Rye. Your heart was pounding in your ears, shutting out the teacher completely.
After class, he’d thanked you. Asked for your name. Told you it was really pretty. Then he asked for your help on his next paper.
And you said yes immediately, a larva without the protection of a chrysalis.
You agonized over his papers, noting that he wasn’t necessarily the best writer or all that smart, but it was him. He trusted you with his words and that meant he could trust you with his heart. At some point.
Until the end of eighth grade when he invited you to meet him on the playground, behind a large oak tree that the kids used as cover to make out. You’d approached slowly, wearing the lipstick you’d stolen from the local pharmacy.
But when you peered around, you were drenched in spoiled milk. Milk. 
A chorus of laughter sounded and you watched in horror as your crush grinned at you like you were entertainment.
His friend handed him a five dollar bill and they ran off.
That was all you were worth.
After that, you thought you knew what hurt was. What it was like to learn your lesson and never allow yourself the ability to fall into something like that again. An unrequited crush. But that was before high school, where the boys got more clever in their humiliation. Fake love notes, getting handsy at dances before calling you a freak. 
You swore never to let a boy you liked be mean to you again. You meant it.
But never once did you believe it.
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It’s just a bowling alley, you thought. Spending one night with him won’t kill me.
The parking lot was nearly deserted, outside of a few Hondas and a gray Chevy Astro. Two of the street lamps were blown out, the remaining three dulled by the fierce January chill. 
You wondered if Eddie would even show up. Maybe this was his prank, one with Ashton Kutcher as an accomplice waiting around in an alley and snickering to themselves. You’d believe it. He was devious enough to make it happen.
It would be a joke for the ages, after you’d applied makeup and spent time working on your hair. You’d put on something casual but seemingly more put together, a deep brown long-sleeved shirt, leaving the first two buttons popped. Layered on top was a cropped, dark green jacket with a hood. You’d settled for dark blue jeans and Converse, sure, but the muted nude pink lipstick you pathetically checked in the sun visor was a step above your usual stupidity.
But Eddie had been insistent about this and it hurt to admit it, but you believed him. In your hardest of hearts, you trusted his word. It was aggravating.
The clock struck seven and you gave yourself one last deep breath before you got out of your car and made your way to the entrance. 
Lanesman was a frequent spot for you, a solitary activity that gave you an excuse to revert to your childhood. After you’d moved back and took this job, you found yourself gravitating towards what used to bring you joy. Bowling with the kid bumpers apparently did the trick.
Working at a high school made you realize that growing up didn’t mean forgetting. It didn’t mean an automatic erasure of what used to soothe your blues. If anything, it reinforced your need for that promise of safety.
The lobby was beige and dull, walls smattered in faded neon paint that hadn’t been updated since your youth. A miserable looking teenager stood at the concession stand, frustratedly trying to get the popcorn to pop. 
As you scanned further, you felt something shock your system as you saw Eddie standing there, waving at you with his plethora of rings twinkling in a fluorescent haze.
He looked nice tonight, with a black Henley, jeans, and Converse that mirrored yours. He started towards you, leaving you to notice the top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned. A hint of black could be spotted underneath, a wave of embarrassment washing over you as you wondered what tattoos he hid underneath.
But the thing that got you was his hair.
You’d never seen it down before, couldn’t even estimate how long you thought it would be. It hung in wavy curtains around his face and draped onto his shoulders. This was something you hadn’t seen coming. And here he was, sidling up to you.
“You’re early,” you started.
“Yeah, well,” he replied with a shrug. “I’m honestly shocked you showed up.”
“Yes, it seems that we are both in a state of shock.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “You’ll have to trust me eventually, you know.”
“We’ll see about that,” you shot back, shaking your head.
He snorted. “Alright, well. I’ll get the shoes if you get the beer.”
“I can do that,” you agreed before giving him your shoe size.
Eddie lifted his fingers and shot you with finger guns. “Always believed in you.”
He winked. 
Frustration flooded your system as he held your gaze for a moment too long. “I’m leaving now,” you murmured before walking away.
“You do that.”
Yeah, I will, you thought. Dickhead.
You made your way to the counter where that poor kid held up a finger as he attempted to fix the popcorn machine. The sounds of the arcade in the other room projected into the concession area, electronic sounds and buzzers trying to lure children in. As if there were any here in the first place. 
Eventually you ordered, getting a pitcher of beer and nachos. As you waited for the cheese machine to whirl back to life, you found your eyes wandering over towards the shoe hut. 
Eddie was laughing at something the kid said before taking two pairs of shoes and heading towards the back where the lanes were. Those areas were covered in blue wallpaper with pink squiggles, glowing neon in the rotating lights. He faded into the glow, dropping the shoes onto the table. 
You wondered why he’d gotten here early, going so far as to avoid the observation once you’d acknowledged it. This wasn’t even including his attitude being much more reserved than usual. He didn’t mock you once in that entire interaction. 
The night was still young, though.
When you walked over, Eddie’s eyes lit up at the sight of goodies in your arms.
“Beer and nachos?” he asked.
“Got a problem with nachos?”
Eddie grabbed a chip, drenching it in as much cheese as he could. “No, but you will after I eat all of them,” he said before tossing it into his mouth.
“Of course you’d never leave me any,” you commented as you set down the cups, beer, and nachos next to the shoes. 
He swallowed before shaking his head. “You know I can just get us some more, right?”
You shrugged off your coat, tossing it over his. “So that you can eat all of those, too?”
“These are some harsh accusations.”
“They’re hunches,” you countered, crossing your arms over your chest.
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Come on. Tonight’s supposed to be about starting over, remember?”
You knew he was right. This was supposed to be a truce. Where was your can-do attitude? 
You took a deep breath before saying, “Yeah, okay. Sure. Yes. Starting over.”
Eddie smiled at you before throwing out his hand. “Hi, I’m Eddie Munson. Nice to meet you.”
You stared down at his hand. “We’re doing this?”
His smile widened. “We are.”
“Okay, fine.” You introduced yourself before taking his hand in yours. Shaking it, you added, “It’s nice to meet you.”
“What do you do for work?”
You snorted. “Uh, I’m a freshman English teacher at South Jefferson High School.”
He gave you a surprised expression. “You’re serious?”
“Uh, yeah?” you asked, confused.
He placed his free hand on his chest. “I’m a freshman English teacher at South Jefferson High School.” 
That was when you realized what was going on. What Eddie was attempting to do. You were really starting over. And if he was animated about this bit then, fuck it, you could be, too. 
Enthusiastically, you exclaimed, “What? That’s crazy!”
Eddie grinned, sparking something inside you. “Isn’t it?”
“How come I’ve never seen you around before?” you asked, fully playing along now.
“I don’t know! I’m in room 11A.”
You gasped. “I’m in 14A.”
“This is so bizarre.”
“I know. Small world, huh?”
In the silence that followed, you became aware of pressure that remained against your palm. The forgotten sensation that had your eyes lowering to your hand. They were joined, warmth being passed back and forth as your playful exchange came to a close. It felt like you couldn’t breathe.
So, you let go.
“Wanna bowl?” you asked, still feeling hazy. “With…me?”
Eddie coughed before sticking his hands in his back pockets. “Absolutely. Though, I have to warn you that I have the bumpers up.”
You smiled. “That’s the only way to play.”
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Eddie won the first round. 
However, much to his dismay, you won the second.
It involved a lot of groans, snorts, and retreats to the beer pitcher in between turns. Overall, it was a pretty civil affair which surprised Eddie. He wondered how you felt about it.
The two of you now sat on top of the joint tables, having gone through a second pitcher of beer and demolished another helping of nachos. There’d only been one or two lanes taken up since you started, the room still in near silence outside of “I Wanna Love You” by Akon and Snoop Dogg playing over the crackled speakers. 
You sat close to one another, mirroring each other. Both you and Eddie were hunched over, feet planted on the chair in front. But as the conversation continued, you were turning closer to one another. The distance didn’t really feel like distance anymore.
Eddie was finishing off his final sip of beer when you suggested, “What if we did honesty hour?”
He glanced over at you, slowly lowering his cup. “What, like ask each other questions?”
“Yeah, and the other person has to answer. Nonegotiable.”
That was rather brave of you. And bold. You avoided any and all sense of trying to understand him. Not once did you ask him a question that wasn’t drenched in kerosene. Plus, what did you know about honesty? You grew defensive at any hint of curiosity and hostile when he reiterated whatever you told him. Could this really be considered progress or just a chance to seem like the good guy?
“Oh, I don’t know if you could handle your own game,” he challenged.
“What!” you exclaimed, lifting your hands.
He shook his head, unable to believe you were seriously that shocked. “You always have this look in your eye,” he said, wiggling his fingers in your face.
“What look?” you asked, slapping his hand away.
“Like you’re withholding information.”
One of your eyebrows twitched. “Is it wrong for me to keep some things to myself?” you argued, a forced chuckle leaving your lips. “I don’t need to tell you every thought in my head.”
“Why not?” “Because you make fun of everything I do!”
Eddie shook his head again, your irony bordering on comical. “You get mad at everything I do. Why do you get to be all high and mighty about it?”
“Because at least I keep my opinions to myself.”
“You make your opinions very clear, actually.” You rolled your eyes. “Okay, so are we gonna start or what? I don’t wanna do this if you’re gonna keep getting defensive.”
You let out a small groan. “Okay, yes. Fine.”
“We’ll start off easy, okay?” You nodded. “What was your favorite part of Napoleon Dynamite?”
You chuckled, catching him off guard. Then you smiled and an unexpected ease filled his chest. “Oh, most definitely Napoleon test tasting the milk.”
“It’s so nasty,” he agreed, feeling a laugh escape him. “Almost as good as the part when he watches Pedro ride his bike and asks if he can too and—”
“And he breaks the ramp!” you finished for him.
He nodded emphatically. “Yes, exactly!”
“I loved it. It was really funny.”
“What can I say? I have good taste.”
“You have one point,” you told him, holding up your pointer finger. “One.”
He shrugged. “That’s one more than yesterday.”
“Guess that means it’s my turn to ask a question?”
“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “I think I have a few more.”
“What? I came up with the idea.”
“Yes, but you always dodge answering anything honestly.”
“As if you don’t say anything other than,” you lowered your voice, “Oh, look at me. I’m so cool. You’re just jealous ‘cause I’m just so cool.”
Eddie snorted. “And what do you think you do?” He raised the pitch of his voice. “What? How dare you! Stop that! Ugh. I could never.”
“Yeah, okay,” you agreed. “I do sound like that.”
“Finally rolling an eighteen for once.”
You paused. Eddie watched as you looked down. “Did you just…” you trailed, eyes slowly coming back up to meet his. “Did you just make a Dungeons and Dragons reference?”
“Maybe.”
A loud chortle flew through the air as you exclaimed, “Oh my god! You’re a nerd!”
He rolled his eyes. “Nerd? Really? Are we in high school?” You gave him a playful shrug. “The fact that you know the rules means you’re just as big of a nerd as I am.”
“Exactly!” you exclaimed. “It’s not a bad thing. It just feels like. Well. I don’t know. I guess, to me, it feels like you’re a real human being now.”
“That’s because you have forgotten to ask me anything about myself.” You opened your mouth, but he beat you to the punch. “Which you can do after I ask mine.”
“Okay, fine,” you replied with a huff.
“Do you actually enjoy teaching at SJ?”
“Of course I do,” you said too quickly, eyes narrowing.
Eddie shook his head. “Defensive. I really am asking. It’s not a trap.”
“Fine, fine,” you agreed, holding up your hands. “I enjoy what I’ve started doing. I mean, I don’t think I’ve made the impact that I’ve wanted to, which was why getting the opportunity to do this full-time was really exciting.”
“Do you think this’ll be a long term thing? Teaching here?”
“I hope so. Maybe not forever, but I want to right now. I think I owe it to these kids who’re already in such a vulnerable phase in their lives. It keeps getting scarier out in the world. The least I can do is try to help make it easier with the small pocket of time I have in their lives.”
“That’s really sweet,” Eddie whispered, and he meant it.
“Oh, thanks,” you whispered back. “I mean it.”
“Does your family live around here? Or your, uh, boyfriend.” He panicked when you raised an eyebrow. “Or girlfriend. I, uh, I don’t judge.”
Shaking your head, you said, “No, my family isn’t around. I haven’t seen them in over a year. I moved back and then they moved across the country. Besides, we barely call. We’re all bad at using the phone. I write them sometimes, but it’s usually attached to cheesy holiday cards.” You looked down at your cup. “And no. I don’t have a partner of any kind at the moment.”
“Interesting,” he said.
“Do you?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Do I what?”
“Do you have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend?”
Eddie almost said, “Why do you wanna know?” But you were making real progress for once. He couldn’t fuck it up now. Not when your eyes were returning to his, brave and unafraid now.
“I do not,” he answered. “I don’t have a partner of any kind right now.”
“And your family?”
It was his turn to cower away. “Yikes,” he whispered, planting a goofy expression on his face to soften the blow. “Uh, yeah. My dad’s in jail and my mom passed when I was a kid. My uncle lived around here but he actually met a nice guy so now they pose as roommates in Ohio.”
“What’s in Ohio?”
That was your answer? To everything he just said, giving you the basics of a fucked up childhood, the only thing you had to respond with was a question about what state his uncle and his boyfriend settled on?
“Dave, I guess,” he replied, studying your lack of expression. You let out a hum and nodded. “Does that not, like, weird you out?”
“What part exactly?”
“My parents.”
You shook your head. “No, not really.”
“Hm.”
“Do you want me to be weirded out?”
“No, I…” Eddie trailed before taking a deep breath. “I’d prefer if you didn’t.”
You nodded. “Then you’ll be absolutely ecstatic to know that I am far from being weirded out.”
“Incredible,” he said lightly, trying to force out a laugh. He sobered up quickly when you gave him a closed-lip smile. “Last question.”
“Hit me.”
Do you really hate me?
He blinked. “Would you go outside with me and share a cigarette?”
“Yeah,” you replied. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
So you climbed off the tables, grabbing your jackets and heading back out the front door. Eddie had been eyeing your appearance all night, especially the lipstick you’d donned. You never wore lipstick at work and you hadn’t the last few times he saw you around the city. Why now?
If only asking questions didn’t get him annihilated. 
“I’ve actually decided I want my own,” you said, turning toward him.
“Of course you do.” Your breaths fogged together as you chuckled. “Are you finally gonna try a Marlboro Red?”
Your smile bordered on mischief as you pointed your thumb at the parking lot. “I mean, I have a pack of Newports in my car. I could always go get them.”
Eddie shook his head, slipping his pack out of his jacket. “Nah, I don’t trust you to come back.”
Snapping, you said, “Damn. You foiled my epic evil plan.”
“I see right through you.”
“You sure do.”
Eddie held out a lone cigarette for you to take. You gave him a small smile before plucking it from his fingers and sliding it between your teeth. He tried handing you the lighter but you shook your head.
“You’re not gonna light it for me?” you asked around the cigarette. “Some manners you’ve got.”
With only a snort as a response, Eddie lit both of your cigarettes at the same time. The smoke swirled through the air, mimicking a blanket of snow you were sure to get in the next few weeks.
The banter between you was nice. Eddie had made his peace with the constant back and forth, but nothing felt better than this. The two of you being civil and, if not friends, friendly. Your scowl had faded, leaving behind your gentler expressions. If he didn’t find you beautiful before, there was something almost explosive about what he saw now.
He wondered what it was like to grow up so wondrous. What kind of kid you were and whether you experienced the atrocities that he had in high school. What did you turn into after, when you could grasp at the sleeves of freedom? Did your fingers ever slip?
You bent down to stub out the cigarette before tossing it in the trash can next to the door. Eddie watched you, wondering how he could keep you from leaving. Sure, you probably weren’t thinking about leaving. But. Still.
He needed more time with you. He needed more time to understand you. And if you were to walk away from here tonight without divulging those details, he thought he’d explode. Especially when you’d be back as coworkers the following week.
So, he got an idea.
“We should go to the little arcade inside.”
“Why, so I can beat your ass?”
“Woah there!” Eddie exclaimed. “Trash talk. I like it.”
You took a step towards the door, watching as he flicked his cigarette out onto the pavement. “Guess you’re rubbing off on me.”
Before you could pull any further, Eddie was taking the handle from you. “I should do it more often,” he replied, gesturing for you to walk through.
“It’s only ‘cause I’m a little tipsy.”
“You didn’t have to drink the beer. I mean, it is kinda shitty.”
You shrugged. “I’ve been having fun. Sue me.”
“Then you’ll be excited to know that the arcade is the final showdown.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah, think about it. I won the first round. You won the second, right?” You nodded. “So who is the winner?”
“We could tie and practice good sportsmanship.”
“What’s the fun in that?”
You giggled. You fucking giggled.
It jolted him. It wasn’t lightning, but rather the shock of static electricity on an unforgiven doorknob. 
“You’re right,” you said with a shrug.
God, he really fucking liked you.
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“We’ll play three rounds,” Eddie started, fiddling with the coins in his hands. “First are Galaga and Target Terror. And then, for our final showdown? The claw machine.”
“The claw machine is rigged,” you argued. “We’ll both lose.”
“Yeah, with that attitude.” You snorted. “You can’t know if you don’t try.”
Instead of whipping up some witty comeback, you trudged over to the dusty Galaga machine, noting that one of the coin slots was shattered.
Eddie came to stand next to you, plopping a coin in your palm before you thrusted it into the unbroken slot and took off.
One thing you’d failed to mention up until this point was how shitty you were at any and all arcade games. You’d once thought Galaga was your favorite, something you gravitated towards as a kid. The flashes of neon against the black, with only specks of color to create the illusion of a night sky. It always drew you in, the feeling that you were escaping somewhere outside yourself. Outside of the reality— 
“Oh, come on, really?” you exclaimed as you failed. 
“You’re just smashing the keys,” Eddie groaned.
You shot him a look. “But that’s what you’re supposed to do!”
“Well,” he started, bumping your hip with his. “Doesn’t matter now ‘cause you’re dead. Officially. Time for you to scoot over. Come on.”
Reluctantly, you switched places. 
And, boy, were you immediately intimidated.
Eddie was a whiz, all calm and collected as he focused on the screen like his life depended on it. His fingers stretched, skillfully defending space from the countless hoards of aliens and other creatures that dared to cross his path. 
He finally died at the low low score of 140,820. 
“What the fuck?” you muttered as he took a step back and grinned at you.
“So that’s, what, two points now for me and one for you?”
You tried to suppress your glare. “Good job,” you said through your teeth.
Eddie gave you a bow. “Why, thank you. Sometimes it pays off to be a nerd.”
It wasn’t that you were a sore loser. But you were with a sore winner. Now it was time to get your revenge. How you would do that was beyond you, but you had to try.
“Come on,” you told him.
Your next destination was the Target Terror, taking the red gun before he even approached. For good measure, you turned and pretended to shoot him. Eddie let out a dramatic gasp before clutching his chest and falling to the floor.
Laughter tumbled out of you without any thought, made boisterous when he twitched and kept making the stupidest noises you’d ever heard before finally playing dead.
“Bravo,” you complimented.
Like a flattened cartoon character, he regenerated and sprung back up to his feet. 
“I’m a natural, I know,” he responded, sliding coins in for you both.
“Yeah, you should be the next drama teacher.”
He grabbed the blue gun. “I actually think I’d kick ass at it.”
He didn’t sound like he was joking.
As you went to shoot the start button, you couldn’t help but look over at Eddie. He was checking out the gun and deciding on his hand placement as if that mattered. But you were thinking about something else.
Eddie was a good guy, wasn’t he? Take away his revolting arrogance and inability to keep his mouth shut and you could see a person underneath. His ambition mirrored yours and maybe, just maybe, his heart had been in the right place all along. Maybe there was more to him that you wanted to learn.
You wanted to be his friend.
Eddie caught your eye, pausing to look up at you. “What?” he asked. “You waiting on me?”
“Um.” You made yourself look back at the screen. “Yeah, I want to win fair and you’re taking too long. So. Uh. Let’s play.”
Without another word, you shot the first level and the two of you were off, trying to kill as many bad guys as you could. Though, they were kinda lame, just some guys in hoodies and sunglasses. A few of them were women which you appreciated, but they were the only ones who seemed like they had any real backstories. 
You tried not to sneak a glance over at Eddie’s score, but you couldn’t help it. You were winning. He seemed to be struggling, glancing over at you every so often. His frustrated looks sat in your peripheral, leaving you with a shit eating grin on your face as you took your sweet time. 
“What the hell,” he said when it hit game over.
You pretended to blow smoke off of your plastic gun before putting it back. “You were just smashing the trigger,” you said. “So, that’s, what? Two points for me, two for you?”
Eddie sighed. “Guess I deserved that one.”
You smirked. 
The claw machine was the final destination, lined in yellow and emitting a neon glow. Turning to look at Eddie, you saw the neon illuminating his dark eyes which were solely on you. 
You nearly did a double take, suddenly overwhelmed by the exposure.
“What?” you asked.
“What?” he retorted, smirking.
“You’re staring at me.”
“Maybe I am.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause you’re really pretty.”
Your gut twisted again. “You think I’m pretty?”
“Yeah, of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?’
“I feel like you look at me as some, I don’t know, clownish hag or something.”
“Clownish hag?” he repeated.
“Or something.”
Eddie laughed. “You’re just saying that because that’s how you see me.”
“You think that I think you’re a clownish hag?”
“Isn’t that why you’re so annoyed by me?”
“No, I’m annoyed by you because your goal in life is to make mine miserable.”
“Sure, yeah. Let’s go with that.” You rolled your eyes. “So how do you see me then? Hm?” “I mean, a guy like you already knows how pretty he is. I don’t think I have to be the one to tell you that.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Pretty, huh?”
“What?” you asked, blinking.
“You think I’m pretty, too.”
“Objectively, yes.”
“Objectively,” he repeated, snorting.
“You can’t deny it.”
“Only if you don’t deny finding me pretty.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Alright. Come on.” He gestured towards the machine. “Go ahead and try.”
Your eyes lingered on him for possibly a second too long before you returned your attention to the claw machine. Hitting the start button, you moved the claw around the box. You were sure this was going to fail. There was no other way for this to go.
Eddie called me pretty.
It was a rigged system. You give them your money, left with the unspoken contract that this was a game of chance. You paid for what you got in the end. No take backs. No refunds. What you ended up with was what you ended up with. There was no return to the way things were before you gave away something so special. 
Eddie called me pretty.
But in the end, there really was nothing left to lose. So, you slammed your hand down on the button.
Eddie called me pretty.
Slowly, the claw extended and fell against a small tiger plushie. It clamped down on its head before slowly rising. You gasped as it stayed secure and moved towards the safety box inside. Then, the claw opened.
And you won.
Almost simultaneously, you and Eddie erupted in shrieks, jumping up and down as you stared at the machine in disbelief. 
“Oh my god!” you exclaimed.
His eyes sparkled. “You did it!” 
“I know! That was crazy!”
Eddie laughed and gave you a high five. “That was amazing.”
You shrugged. “I’m the best, what can I say?”
“Can’t disagree with you there, sweetheart.”
You felt your eyes widen, mirroring the same exact movement now coming from him. 
Sweetheart.
Of all the names you’d been given from crushes, part-time lovers, and partners, never had you heard the word sweetheart.
It sent a wave of bubbles to your gut before floating up, up, up and into your throat. You tried to clear it, but nothing could get it out. Eddie held your stare, seemingly unable to make a comment. Unable to call you out for what you surely knew he knew despite you not really knowing for yourself. 
What was happening?
“Eddie?”
You heard him take a sharp inhale as his name left your lips. It was the first time you’d uttered it out loud. To yourself. To someone else.
To him.
“Can I ask you something?”
He nodded, slowly. “Anything.”
You could feel yourself unraveling. “Do you really want to be my friend?” you whispered.
Eddie’s expression softened. “Of course I do.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Yes.” He didn’t even blink.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
The catch in your throat was enough.
Eddie’s hands lifted, fingers slowly curling around your cheeks before bringing your lips to his. 
It was the meteor you never saw coming. A gentle kind of impact. It’s intense and explosive, but there’s safety. Somehow, Eddie’s the reason why. 
He was gone too quickly, not giving you enough time to process why he was making you feel this way. But his eyes met yours and suddenly he was the breathless one.
“Uh, sorry,” he said, taking slow blinks.
You didn’t know what to say. Too many questions were caught in your throat. Was this manipulation? Was this real? And if it was, did that mean he liked you? Did that mean that you liked him?
But Eddie began to take a step back and it angered you to no end.
“Don’t you dare,” you grumbled, grabbing onto that stupid open collar of his. “Come here.” You pulled him back toward you, connecting your lips once more.
The trance fixed itself, your brain struck with neon pixels of excitement, of bewilderment. There was this need to completely consume him. To take his breath as your own so that you may understand who he is and what makes this so different.
You knew you’d never be the same after this ended.
Eddie was quick to reverse the roles, turning you around pulling you to the other side of the claw machine, hiding you both. You had no problem shoving him against the wall, both hands on his chest now. 
He broke through your arms, reaching for your jaw once more and dragging you closer. As if that were possible. As if there was any space left between your bodies. 
It wasn’t desire. It was necessity.
Your fingers locked around his hips, digging your fingernails as hard as you could. It was instinctual, like there was no other way this could go.
He let out a deep moan, sounding more like a growl than anything else. It sprung you further as you pressed your hips against his. You found friction and chased it without hesitation. 
Hands moved down to your neck, squeezing ever so lightly.
Your goosebumps rose like static electricity. 
But then someone cleared their throat. Loudly.
You jumped away, turning to find the kid from the counter. “Uh, yeah, hi. Please stop making out in the arcade.”
“Oh, sorry,” you said.
All he did was shrug and walk away.
Slowly, your heart slowed down and you dared yourself to look back at Eddie, his pink lips coated in your lipstick.
His eyes were already on yours, but you could see little flickers to your lips. It restarted that pumping, pushing you to take a step forward.
So did he.
His hand found your elbow and drew you forward.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
“That was…” he trailed.
“It was what?” you asked, feeling dread pool in your stomach.
He paused. Too long, your thoughts echoed. Too long.
And that’s when it finally hit you.
Eddie hadn’t given you a second glance before the book club debacle started. There was no indication of interest or intrigue, settling on December as the start date of his ventures. December, when it was finalized that the two of you would be sponsoring together. 
He’d come into the break room for lunch. He had to know you’d be in there, had to know already that you were co-sponsors. Why else would he try to rile you up? Why else would he try to befriend you?
He was tricking you.
This had been his plan all along. 
He was trying to get you to forget all about the book club. He was trying to take it for himself. You knew he’d certainly read enough books to know how to do it. 
This was what men did. They got you alone, vulnerable, and then stabbed you in the back. Their games were always the same. 
You’d grown up, but you were still just as naive as you were at eleven. Fifteen. Nineteen. Twenty-five.
“What am I doing?” you wondered out loud, glancing at him one last time before you turned and walked towards your coat and purse.
Eddie didn’t follow you.
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Once more, you smoothed the wrinkles in your white button down and red floral skirt. Your heel-clad feet ached as you leaned against the desk at the head of the room. Next to you was Eddie, back to his bun and waiter uniform. He stood a few feet away, but you were more than conscious of his presence.
It was cumbersome, lighting your skin on fire as you gave fake smiles to every student filing into your classroom at three-ten in the afternoon. The tension was palpable, found in the awkward silence that rested between the two of you.
One by one, the students sat down and made small talk with their friends. They laughed and giggled, eyes flickering over to you two every so often.
But at three-fifteen, you heard Eddie clear his throat.
“We’re going to start by re-introducing ourselves,” he started.
You both said your names.
You couldn’t help but glance over at Eddie, watching as he did the same.
Quickly averting your gaze, you took a quick breath and looked back at the kids.
“So,” you said. “Who wants to go first?”
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requested tagging: @anukulee, @twihard28, @doorlesscub00, @whisperingwillowxox, @ubiquitous-corvids, @kellsck
thank you to @littlexdeaths for her dividers :')
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cutielando · 5 months ago
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Hi! So I'm a one-to-one teacher and it's. . . A lot. Especially the extra work once school hours are actually over and sometimes (all the time) it gets very overwhelming and I cried over it last week so if you could write something to do with this and a very concerned boyfriend!Oscar I would be eternally grateful! Maybe he comes home in the early hours from a race to find reader still awake and planning lessons? Grazie grazie! 🫶
teacher things | o.p.
my masterlist
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Ever since you were a little girl, you had always dreamed of becoming a teacher. You loved kids, especially interacting with them and teaching them all kinds of new things.
It was safe to say that becoming a teacher had been your greatest accomplishment. 
Oscar had supported you from the first time you told him about your aspirations, being with you every step of the way when things got hard and you needed a shoulder to cry on.
And even though there was nothing you would rather be doing in life, you were so tired. It felt like every waking moment was spent either in school, or hunched over your desk at home, planning the days ahead and grading papers.
You were exhausted, the dark bags under your eyes a statement to support that claim. 
You had kept Oscar in the dark of your state for a couple of weeks, knowing that his focus would be completely thrown off balance if you had just mentioned how busy you had been and how little sleep you had got. 
But now, Oscar was coming home for the summer break, and you knew you couldn’t hide anything from him anymore. Even up until then, you were almost certain he had figured out something was bothering you, but chose not to say anything until he came home and got a good look at you.
The last time you had talked to Oscar was before he boarded his flight, which had been more than four hours ago. You hadn’t even felt the time tick by, too engrossed in your work to even look at the clock.
Oscar had been worried the entire flight back home. He had felt something was wrong every time you two spoke on the phone. He knew how dedicated you were to your job and how much you loved it, but he also knew how much stress you were under and how easily you got lost in the amount of work that you had. 
Which is precisely why he knew he would find you in a dire situation when he got home. Knowing that, he decided to stop by a few places before he got home to buy some things to cheer you up.
Firstly, he stopped by your favorite restaurant and bought you your favorite meal, knowing you had probably been skipping meals more than he would have liked. After that, he stopped at a candy shop and bought some candy to indulge your sweet tooth, something that always helped you concentrate. His last stop was at the local flower shop right down the street from your apartment, buying you a big bouquet of your favorite flowers.
Arms full, he unlocked the front door and silently made his way into the apartment, not surprised when he noticed all of the lights turned off except for the one in the living room where you preferred to work.
He sighed, deciding to put everything in the kitchen and take care of you first. 
With silent steps, he slowly walked towards the living room, making sure not to startle you. You always completely zoned out when you were working and got spooked easily, which is not something Oscar wanted to add to your plate.
Thankfully, you hadn’t been working in that particular moment, only resting your head in your hands and massaging your scalp in order to help soothe the headache you had been supporting for 2 hours now.
“Babe?” Oscar softly called out, smiling sadly once he heard you hum, but not raise your head. 
He stopped right next to your chair, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. He leaned down, planting a kiss on the top of your head, an action which finally prompted you to raise your head and look at your boyfriend.
Oscar had been readying himself for the sight he was bound to see when he got home, but it was even worse than what he had imagined. Your eyes were red and puffy, the bags under your eyes worse than he had ever seen them, your hair was tied in a very messy bun, but the most alarming thing to him was your wobbly lip and your eyes filled with tears threatening to escape.
“Whoa, what’s wrong?” he asked, crouching down in front of you and taking your face in his hands. 
You didn’t say anything, not trusting your voice not to break as soon as you opened your mouth. Instead, you let yourself fall into his arms, burying your face into his neck and inhaling the scent you had missed so much while he was away, the tears you had been pushing down for weeks finally coming to light.
Oscar wrapped his arms around you, squeezing your waist and pressing kisses to your neck. He didn’t say anything, figured there wouldn’t be anything he could say that would make you feel better in that moment. He realized you just needed to get everything out of your system, all the feelings you had been pushing down because you had been so busy to even let yourself feel the stress you had been subjecting yourself to.
Gradually, your sobs began to quiet down and your tears stopped running down your cheeks. It felt so good to finally get everything off of your chest, the tears that had longed so much to finally be let free.
You slowly pulled away from Oscar, wiping your tears with the sleeves of the hoodie you had stolen from his closet.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, not wanting to pressure you into talking about what was on your mind if you didn’t want to.
You thought about it for a moment before you sighed and hung your head.
“I’m just so tired. The kids at school have been more tiring than usual, the principal is being a bitch to the entire staff, I have so much stuff to organize and prepare and papers to grade and I feel like I can’t do everything and it’s just too much” you vented, sighing in relief at the end as the weight had finally lifted from your shoulders.
Oscar smiled sympathetically, knowing how passionate you were about your job, but how demanding and tiring it could get at times.
“What can I do to make you feel better?” he asked, bringing a hand to cup your cheek and rub soothing motions on your skin with his thumb.
You thought about it for a moment, but there was only one thing that came to mind.
“Cuddles?”
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strezzedanddeprezzed · 1 year ago
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Just saw a post asking moms what they would do if they had 10 hours of free time and all the responses were like this:
Get a full 8 hours of sleep.
Eat a hot meal for once.
Watch TV without kids screaming in the background.
Do my hair.
Get a pedi and a mani.
Take a long shower and do a full skin care routine with no interruptions.
Run errands.
Y’all need to think long and hard before you decide to ever have kids. Every time someone describes what having kids is like it sounds awful. They always try to save themselves by saying ‘but my kids bring me the most joy in the world’.
Maybe this post is harsh, but as a woman having kids just seems like a punishment. I hear so many stories about women losing their identity when they have kids and having no free time, but where are these stories from men??? Men never ever make posts about not being able to eat a full and proper meal because they have to take care of their kid. Men never post about ‘finding themselves after fatherhood’. 
It’s so sad because this was a post on a local fb group, and I know a lot of those girls were my age. 
We really need to steer women away from having kids before they’re 30. Women need to get a degree, find a career they like, go on a round trip to Europe, get a hobby they like, move to a different state, date around, and do so much more before they even think about having kids.
Maybe it’s just because I live in a small town, but it makes no sense to have a kid before you even leave your hometown. It’s very depressing and I hear so many ‘what ifs’ or ‘maybe if i never had kids I would’ve...’ from mothers it’s sad. Growing up my mother always said if she didn't have kids or get married so young she would’ve gone back to Germany and she would’ve been a psychologist/author. She would’ve finished that novel she always wanted to write. She would've gotten so many degrees she wouldn’t know what to do with all of them. She would’ve learned a bunch of different languages.
I never heard anything like that from my father. 
I know this will never reach the women I’m trying to reach, but if you’ve ever considered having kids young DO NOT. If you ever find yourself unexpectedly pregnant consider what you’ll actually be losing when you become a mom. 
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justlookfrightened · 2 months ago
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Warm greeting
Filling a prompt from @shygryf: Tater and Bitty are papped and speculation abounds (can be pre or post cup)
Jack laughed when he first saw it.
He was at the St. Martins’ house, having a cup of coffee with Marty and Thirdy, listening to the girls play in the den while Gabrielle was at work, wondering what it would be like to have a house and a couple of kids.
He’d never really thought about that, not before this summer. Now, though, he was out of the closet — could never go back in the closet — and Bitty had been living with him since May, and it was … delightful.
Sure, it had been an adjustment. The condo felt crowded sometimes, with all of Bitty’s things everywhere, but that had gotten better when Tater had finally given up the guest room and taken his 6’4” body back to his own condo, and then, a couple of weeks later, back to Russia to see his family.
And sometimes Bitty chattered on, usually about nothing, or about baking, when Jack was craving silence.
But they’d gotten better at communicating what they needed when they needed it, and Jack had found his thoughts turning to a future that maybe … just maybe … included a family. With Bitty, who was already so good with kids. Marty and Thirdy’s kids all loved him.
He should really talk to Bitty about it before he got carried away. They’d never talked about having kids. Why would they? Bitty was so young, only a few years from being a kid himself. He still had two years of school to finish before they could even think about getting married.
Or maybe … Jack had known other players who married women who were still in college. It worked, they said, because the academic year roughly matched the hockey season, so they were busy at the same time.
Jack also knew a lot of players who got divorced after a few years.
“Earth to Jack.” 
Marty was waving his phone in front of Jack’s face, trying to call him out of his daydream.
“Looks like Tater got back okay,” Marty said, once he had Jack’s attention.
The phone showed a picture of Tater at the airport in Boston, arms wrapped around Bitty and lifting him into the air. It was from a local news site, and noted that training camp was around the corner.
The sheer joy that Jack read on Bitty’s face made him laugh.
“Yeah,” Jack said. “I had a meeting with my agent this morning, so Bits went down to pick him up. I know he was a little worried.”
“Tater?” Thirdy asked.
“No, Bitty,” Jack said. “Well, he said Tater was worried, too, but … I didn’t see it.”
“About what?” Marty asked.
“About Tater going back to Russia,” Jack said. “After the Cup. Or, I mean, after I kissed Bitty. Because people knew Tater was staying with me … staying with us … and the way Russia has been cracking down on gay people. That’s why Tater didn’t do a statement in support of us or anything.”
Tater had wanted to, Jack knew. Bitty had talked him out of it, after a long phone call to his old skating coach in Georgia, who apparently still knew people in Russia. She didn’t actually know Tater’s family, but Bitty said they had friends in common.
“Figure skating’s a small world,” Bitty had explained. “Even smaller than hockey.”
“I was surprised by that,” Marty said. “I never thought he’d be homophobic.”
“No, he’s not,” Jack said. “But his mother and sister are still in Russia, and he wanted to see them, and he was already staying with me. So he decided to have his Cup day there, like it was important for him to bring it home to them, and then work on getting things in place for his mother and his sister to move here this year. He just found out last week that their visas were approved.”
Jack didn’t say how much work had gone on behind the scenes, with George, with his American mother, with the U.S. State Department to make sure that Tater’s closest relatives would be admitted.
The next time Jack saw the picture, it was on the phone Bitty was holding out across the breakfast bar while Jack did the dinner dishes that evening.
Tater had come for dinner, full of plans to look for a place for his family to live in Providence, to have everything ready when they arrived. 
“They’re not going to live with you?” Jack asked. 
“No, no,” Tater said. “Me, I’m keeping my bachelor pad. Anyone I date, they need to get along with my mama, yes, but not over the breakfast table. You understand?”
He left, wiped out from traveling, as soon as the meal was over. Bitty was sitting at the counter and scrolling through his phone when he sat up, eyebrows at his hairline, and said, “Really?!?”
Now the picture was on what Jack recognized as a gossip site, and the caption underneath said, “Moving on? The man seen greeting Providence Falconer Alexei Mashkov at Logan Airport sure looks a lot like Eric Bittle, who Jack Zimmerman said was his boyfriend after kissing him on the ice following the Falconers’ Stanley Cup win. But Zimmermann and Bittle haven’t been seen in public together for weeks. Did Mashkov steal this puck bunny away from his teammate?”
Jack almost dropped the plate he was holding.
“Puck bunny? Osti de tabarnak!”
He set the plate down and took the phone from Bitty to read it again, saying as he did so, “I’m calling my lawyer. I’ll get them to take it down.”
But his phone was already ringing.
Shitty.
“What the fuck, brah!” Shitty started. “Did you see —”
“We saw,” Jack confirmed. “I’m calling my lawyer. Puck bunny?”
If Jack was furious, Bitty was incandescent with rage.
“How could they do this!?! This could ruin everything! I have to call Tater.”
Bitty tugged his phone out of Jack’s grip and looked at the post again. 
“After everything Tater did all summer to smooth everything over. I mean, maybe I shouldn’t have hugged him, but I was so glad he made it back okay … and I didn’t even see anyone with a camera. Fuck, it’s my fault. What if his family can’t come anymore?”
Bitty was almost wailing now. Jack knew he was upset — Bitty didn’t usually use casual profanity like that — and he knew that he shouldn’t call Tater in that state.
“It’ll be okay,” Jack said. “You really think the Russian government looks at trashy gossip sites from Boston?”
“You really think they don’t?” Bitty retorted. “And I don’t know what your lawyer’s gonna do.”
“Tell them to take down the caption?” Jack said. “Sue them for defamation?”
“For what? Implying that I broke up with you and started dating Tater?” Bitty scoffed. “I love you, but the media law class I took last year — you know, for my blog? — I don’t think that’s actually defamatory.”
“Puck bunny?” Jack said in disbelief. “I mean, I saw the photo before, but it was one of the news channels talking about training camp. I didn’t think anything of it.”
“Once again, you might see the caption as derogatory, but … they’re gonna say it was intended to be humorous. And we were in public, so no expectation of privacy. I hate it as much as you do, Jack, but you know they can take photos on public property.”
That, in fact, was why Bitty and Jack had not been seen in public together for weeks. Bitty had had a minor breakdown over not even being able to go to the grocery store without photos ending up online.
“But they still might take it down if they get a call from a lawyer,” Jack pointed out. 
“Yeah,” Bitty acknowledged. “They might. I’m just kicking myself for not being more careful. I’ll call Tater.”
Jack went to the closet he called his office to call the lawyer while Bitty called Tater.
“Tater? I’m sorry to bother you — I know you’re exhausted,” Bitty started.
“I’m fine,” Tater said. “You need something? Forget something?”
“No — I, um, I have to give you some bad news,” Bitty said.
“You alright?” Tater asked. “Jack’s alright?”
“No, we’re fine. It’s, well. It’s that there was a picture taken. Of us. On the sidewalk at airport.”
“Yes?” Tater said, sounding a little mystified. “I saw the photo hours ago. You look very cute. I look very strong.”
“Well, yes, but some other place posted it, and the caption makes it sound like you ‘n’ me … like we’re dating,” Bitty finally managed to say.
“Okay?” Tater said. “I know that is not true. You know that is not true. I’m sure Jack knows it is not true.”
“But what about … you don’t think it will cause problems for your mother?”
“Mama? No,” Tater laughed. “Mama — she told the people in Russia that she needed to come to the U.S. to — how to say — set me straight. That I was forgetting the ways she taught me and she and my sister must come so I remember.”
Tater paused.
“Don’t worry, she can’t wait to meet you! She just said that so they would let her come here. I saw the photographer and I thought the picture might help, yes?”
Bitty thunked his head gently on the kitchen counter.
“Tater, are you sure about this?”
“Of course I am sure!”
There was another pause.
“They called you puck bunny!” Tater shouted.
“Just saw it, huh?” Bitty asked.
“They should not say that about you!”
“Yeah, Tater, Jack is on that. As long as you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, Little B. Going to bed. Maybe tomorrow you, me and Jack all go out together?”
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wutheringmights · 8 months ago
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After I finished reading The Epic of Gilgamesh today, I entered a fugue state where I sat down and read the entirety of Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce.
On the record, I have had a lifelong love and adoration for Pierce's Tortall books. I first read the Song of the Lioness quartet when I was 11, and they rewrote my brain. I love them so much. I reread them and the other Tortall books on a semi-frequent schedule.
It's been a while since I reread any of the Alanna books, if only because my sister took our shared copies when she moved out. I've been meaning to buy my own set for a long while now but haven't been able to justify the purchase. The other week, I just so happened to find the first two volumes at my local indie bookstore. I bought them immediately, as well as ordered the third and fourth book. (And discovered that the store owner knows me by name-- when I went to pick up my order, she saw me and said, Hi Frankie! I got your books over here.) (I may be spending too much money there.)
So I have been in a bit of an emotional rut these past few weeks. Work sucks. Life stinks. The temptation to run off to Tortall and curl up in the fantasy story that captivated me as a kid has never been stronger.
Ergo, I ran off to read the first book as soon as I could.
If you're looking for any critique of this book, series, or Tortall in general, I will never give it. Sure, it's problematic and dated, and in many ways imperfect, but someone else can list out all of its issues. They're all perfect to me.
Anyway, the book. I should say something about this book in particular.
One thing I appreciate about Pierce's writing is how she handles school settings in fantasy. Learning and training is so mundane. All of her heroines have to work hard and put in extra hours of study in order to improve, much less keep up with their peers. It's so normal that it circles around to being weirdly refreshing.
Also, there is still no other fantasy author who handles period talk and birth control the way Pierce does. We make fun of the trope of fantasy birth control nowadays, but I rarely see it presented as it is here: as a part of normal puberty lessons and given long before sex is in the girl's radar. And even today with the glut of YA fantasy stories out there, I still have yet to see menstruation be portrayed as frequently or as bluntly as Pierce writes it.
There was a period of time publishers really tried to push the Tortall books as straight YA, which doesn't work for that reason alone. You gotta market them to middle schoolers. They're the ones just starting puberty talks, and getting scenes like this is so good for their brains.
Moving on: I fucking love these characters. Alanna was an icon of brash, temperamental heroines that have shaped my taste to this day. I love how even in the first book, Jon is kinda shitty. I adore George Cooper. Talk about a taste maker the way this man sets a standard.
I just can't be coherent when it comes to any Tortall books. I have no thoughts. Head empty. I am going to binge the rest of this series as quickly as I can before my library book comes in. Then normal book content will resume.
Before I go, I need to talk about the book covers.
Growing up, my sister and I had these covers:
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Which, god. I love them. The black is striking. The art is incredible. Alanna looks so good. They were the perfect pocket-size too. I was going to buy the same edition for my copies, but instead I got the 40th anniversary reprints:
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Not bad at all! These books have had some seriously bad covers, and these look great! Very anime, which will appeal to the 11 year olds who need to have their socks rocked by this series.
But, man. I really miss those black covers. One day I will splurge and buy a second set of them just so that I can stare at the art.
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