#when i say spiritual i mean it im not being weird

[plutonianeris]

pick a pile: how you secretly intimidate others ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️

♱☾pile one☽

“don’t call me baby! im not your baby!”

you intimidate others with your individuality. There’s something about you that’s very weird or kind of quirky. not in the “oh im not like other gwurls 🤪” cringey way. but rather you’re kind of blunt even when you don’t mean to be other people might think that what you say is too harsh or direct. This seems to be some thing that might throw off men as well but at the same time it’s also make some desire you. That free spirit can be seen as something that other people want in their life but it’s not always with the best intentions. It’s kind of like they want you to fulfill something for them. Kind of like to conquer you in a way. But it seems like that literally never happens because instead, you’re literally a tower moment for other people in their lives.

Just by being you, you unconsciously force other people to reflect on certain things in their life. you guys people specifically to reflect on their insecurities, and also their childhood. You could find that people, especially women project onto you. they could look at you and mumble under their breath or too each other like “what the fuck is their problem” or talk about how you think you “know it all”

it seems like people are just really intimidated by your knowledge and what you have to share with other people. you might have some Aquarius placements. Whether what you share with others is topics about religion or spirituality or “taboo” subjects, other people could be thrown off by your words, while at the same time secretly want to hear more.

this pile, gave off a lot of scorpio and/or aries and/ or libra & taurus energy and 8th house/ pluto aspects energy. when I asked about qualities people associate with you I got “ regeneration, suspicion, passion, beautiful, art, experimentation, intelligent, creativity, wisdom.” 🕯️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile two☽

“no, I’m killing boys.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you can rise from the ashes and transform completely after going through super traumatic shit. The way you seem to be able to recover from stuff that can be straight out of someone’s nightmare and manage to come out on top is inspiring but also it makes other people feel insecure. pile two, other people seem to think that you somehow just “get lucky” when something really good happens to you. People might think that you didn’t have to work that hard for it. They could secretly send you evil eye and think oh I wish that would’ve happened to me instead..

shit I’m not gonna lie I feel in awe and a little shook reading these cards describing your energy. you are literally an alchemist. You transform everything you touch and you transform after every experience with a lot of grace and harmony. lmfaoo the quote from “what? like its hard” from legally blonde popped up. The thing is that it actually is hard but you’ve been doing it for so long. There’s no other way for you to really function. You manage to continuously strengthen your spirituality over and over again.

and there’s a certain element of privacy that you also keep when it comes to your home life and the space you live in and also in regards to what you’re even thinking. It kind of leaves people in constant speculation of who you are what you actually do or where you even live. but this privacy seems necessary to you, sacred to you actually. Your personality, ego, and the way you view yourself are in a constant state of fluctuation. But never in a way that ends up being super detrimental to you. even when you “mess up” you learn something and get better.

you are someone that is very strong and I don’t wanna say that like in a corny “omg ur saiuuir strong u went through so much :(“ pity way. I literally mean just a very unique kind of perseverance within your spirit where time after time you just can’t be knocked down. And other people wonder about that, but they’re not even close to being able to dissect it & that intimidates them.

You could be someone that has a lot of 12th house or fourth house placements, as well as Jupiter, Sagittarius, or Pluto prominent in the chart. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “independent, knowledgeable, transformation, roots, subconscious, potential, hope” 🔐

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile three☽

“how do you feel about yourself now stupid motherfucker? you couldve had some pussy.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you run shit. You have a very straightforward and innovative, and out of the box solution for many of the obstacles you face in life. Similar to pile 2 there is resentment in response to the way you succeed. But when it comes to you it’s more because of the way you do things. people might think “oh it’s not fair that they did it that way and won..” but in reality, you have a unique power being able to bounce back really fast from shit. you don’t mind being someone brand new every single day or changing your habits or routines, or the way you connect with people were your resources very quickly.

In fact, you’re constantly flowing in these spaces of rebirth and attatchment and security. and that intimidate people because they wonder well how is it possible that you’re changing your character and your appearance and your own self all the time and YOU dont care if people label it as a fake or weird. Like I’m not gonna lie this piles giving off someone who has such a range of random aesthetics that ppl r like seeing u as someone who dresses up or is wearing a costume when in reality you just feel transformed by your experiences so frequently.

its giving “im not the person who i was yesterday” so don’t try it today energy. it intimidates people that you’re not ashamed of changing your mind and being like “ well actually I used to like that and now I don’t like it anymore, so can you please respect the boundaries I set up now.”

you TRUST yourself. and not only does that intimidate people but it also makes them MAD. chiron aka trauma, wounds, healing, pain etc popped up, so it doesn’t mean that all your life you had this confidence or ability to listen to yourself and your intuition. If anything you suffered a lot and had a period of time (especially in childhood) were you were taught to not listen to yourself or your intuition. where you were told that if you showed leadership and willpower, and if you used your anger and embraces your anger, that bad things would happen.

But then, finally, you did and you realized that you get so much more from life when you show people how to treat you from the start. And other people want to be able to do that. And you securely inspire them to do that but it’s also a mixture of envy as well thats included in those feelings toward you. oh well. protect your peace! you could be someone that has aries, first house, 8th house and 2nd house placements. 888 also popped up if that has any significance to you. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “secure, possessive, leader, warrior, loyal.”⚖️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

© plutonianeris 🕷

[sideblogdotjpeg]

feeling like. ep 60 was such a fantastic arc finale battle ep. and auugh. like so many things. LIKE .

the slow build up of tension over the ep felt really good and perfect, as it escalates from alexandrite being silly and goofy to. gargantuan cyberflesh horror. and how the dice were UNCANNILY perfect for it all. like. the nat 1 vs nat 20 roll for the town and suddenly the entire mood shifts and the stakes are so much realer, and personal. followed up by the nat 20 for the town! followed up by TWO callie crits and her dealing 130 DAMAGE like each turn!!!! like!!!!! AUGH... the. just the beats of it all was soo good and.

tying to that .. the character moments for this ep were so good !!! every character got their moment to shine in the battle. already discussed callie absolutely whomping fucking ass, but of course the smaller moments as well. offering to go and defend calders town. seeing the faewild sky and "i think i needed to leave to become worthy of it" - like and as the culmination of callies arc. from someone who was so scared and running away to. staying, standing, fighting, protecting. AND ITS GOOD.

then of course theres calder. i mean also the . ARC. of the only thing he wanted was not to be overprotected. wanting to be useful - like his brothers, people who had strength and value in the eyes of their people, big enough to defend their town. and he has come all the way here. he changes the tides of the battlefield in the town - and he does it with the attachments of his friends and the love of his family. and like... god. really crystalising his ethos in a way that is foiled so well against gowan. gowan who was too proud to ask for help. vs "i cant do it without you" "but damn does it feel good when your friends have your back" ... !!!! AYYEARGH. like. hes becoming the protector of his home! but maybe now, his home is so much bigger than the ice knife, and hes not fighting alone .... YOU KNOW.

AND SOL!!!!! sol to my knowledge only deals 30 damage this battle but. as a resident sol enjoyer i !!! am VERY MUCH CLAPPING AND CHEERING!! at the deeply supportive role he took on for this fight. like hes the first to get the ice knife away from alexandrite, he gives callie an extra smite, silvery barbs.... ! like the short rest realisation of how different the battle wouldve gone without that silvery barbs is .... ! SO ITS GOOD. and at the end that he was the one to get the final blow on alexandrite and it was for swag is ...

and! that part was obviously a joke! as is the entire "keep em guessing haha alexandrite cant predict what were doing!!!" thing. HOWEVER. relistening to the ezry arc, and their first interaction w alexandrite as we now know her ... i just. REALLY feel like this is the spiritual successor to "were duck team and were messy and were friends and we do everything together and we absolutely suck shit all day long and all night baby". theyre so fucking stupid is the thing. and theyre messy and stupid and constantly saying things that are weird and make no sense and completely and utterly baffling .... and thats DUCK TEAM!!! (theres also a point here where im overreading somewhat. but the part about Keepin em Guessin... one could POSSIBLY argue it interacts in a MAYBE DEEPLY INTERESTIGN WAY with . the idea of the calculated certainty of the AI, the calm and cold prediction of the diviners, and the wild freedom of the peregrines. idk!!! maybe!!! maybe you cld even say that what lies at the heart of duck team is their messiness and outofplaceness and love and care and refusal of the tragedy!!! even!! maybe!! but YEAH. lol random XD ! keep em guessin!)

also the thing that made me write all this which is like. ! the final victory lap scene is just. so wonderfully cathartic, esp with how tense this entire arc has been. its just. fuck yeah we won and all our friends and family are here and safe and riding on mammoths!!! i mean. FUCKING ALBINS BACK!!!! GREGORS HERE AND KICKIN ASS!!! THE MA GOBLIN BRIGADE!!! A WIN. and ... that bit of callie just sitting on the roof playing a guitar as she stares into the fae wild sky is ... its good.. its good..

and all that is maybe. half the reasons why ep 60 is so good. i didnt even get around to talking about the fucking EMILY AXFORD SONG WHICH IVE BEEN PLAYING NONSTOP ALL DAY SO. yeah. so i like this ep i guess

[esoteriamaya]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT 2.

If you want to know about your gifts, talents and skills you should check out your sidereal chart as each planet holds a lot of detail on the mind-spirit-body connection. It shows a lot of your personal power from each planet and sign and how they all fully come together to make you, you.

Capricorns are naturals at the occult. They hold a lot of deep knowledge about how this world works and they express the duality of it very well. Most think that capricorns are built on just the law and while they are, they know that their are rules that can be broken. Capricorns are an interesting bunch, they know just how to be successful in anything that they do. Getting closer to the higher ups because they just that 'it' factor of being the boss. They dont 'kiss ass' per say, they just know how to play the game. And another thing about the game, capricorns know thats what we live in. So to play the game, they learn to become the chess master.

5th house scorpios can make anything interesting in this house. Games with them can be slightly taboo. Could have a lot of sex partners. hidden secrets around children, their love life and the type of games they like to play. An observation ive seen with scorpio 5th housers is that BDSM and weird kinks/cosplay could be a thing.

5th house uranus will have some pretty interesting kids. Will Smith has this placement for example. People with this placement are gonna have to understand that their children are going to be a totally different version of them and thats okay. Unique individuals, they can create fun and new games for people. You could be the next person to make a new board game or something a long those lines. Video games? New toys? Theres a business mindset here that needs to be touched on with these placement holders. You guys can really create new, whimsical worlds for people to enjoy!

Neptune in the 8th, spiritual realms open up to these individuals. They do not sleep. No I mean literally, their dreams take them to new dimensions all the time and they come back finding out new information from these worlds. Even their waking life is like a dream, connecting it all together. May be prone to getting psychosis due to the consistent stimulation to their third eye. Its a wild ride for these kids, if you have a friend with this placement gon' head and check on them.

10th house Saturns & Jupiter placements have self mastery written all in their chart. Whatever it is they came out to do its been done before in many other lives. If you believe in past lives, then im talking to you.

10 house jupiter individuals are natural geniuses finding their way through life. They focus heavy on community and love to learn more about how they can help them, what they can bring to the table etc.

Mars in the 8th house is a strong placement for jealousy to occur. These individuals know what they want when they want it. Highly passionate in nature, they most create a routine where their energy can be tapped into on a daily or they'll suffer burn out. Or worse, become a sex maniac. All your energy can not go to sex, it has to go to something that sustain you. Whats your purpose? goals? get into it. thats where most of it HAS to go to.

Venus 6th house need routine to be in order. Some chaos here and there but not too much in your day to day. Your minds needs to follow your passions and purpose in order to feel stable. Focus on something that makes you pay close attention to detail. Something that forces you to take your time.

People with this placement normally have the cutest pets :) and they get the most compliments all of the time.

[krchar]

Some thoughts on Himerish and Trial of the Oracle

Ok so it's weird that I hardly post anything and now I go with this, but these thoughts are for some reason so pressing to me these days! And this feels like the right space.

tldr: i love 4th arc, I like Himerish's development, but after rereading last week I have some surprising ambivalence about how his warrior identity goes with his previously implied nature - or at least to my view of the character - happy to know anyone's thoughts on that!

Firstly I want to state that I love the stories, and mostly the first 4 arcs! This is just a thought on one character development...

So I belong among the fans of 4th arc, definitely, and I think that most people who have some soft spot for Himerish/Oracle, started to feel so throughout this arc (although I know some did before it was cool!). I always loved that story, that he was confronted with such a downfall, the dramatic almost mythical story of regaining his identity is so awesome, i liked that he cooperated with the guardians as a person, that he realized he was too removed from the world after all the time...

Last week I got this sudden fanfic inspiration (it's cringe, but I struggle to be creative for years, so my 7 pages are a huge cheery win!) and so I reread the story... and it's so great, but I have some odd feelings about some parts..

I think it is mostly about him being a warrior.

So. The first notion that felt off was in the issues from his coming to earth to the fight of Phobos + Cedric, when I suddenly felt like what is his almost never leaving resting bitchface? There are some really nice mentor moments, but most of the time he seems strangely annoyed without specific reason. Now in the previous arcs, he was not very popular, for he was indeed a terrible pr*ck, intentionally in arc 3, possibly intentionally in the previous ones ( but i don't know that, his behaviour always seemed to be somehow explained or something, even if the reader didnt have to buy it..) but what i did like was his serenity and at times his appearance of a lightness of heart that calmed everyone.. (that is, in moments when he wasn't a pr*ck) suddenly here Himerish is a dynamic warrior, always angry fighting etc etc - like he was serene and wise only because he was an oracle and it was his function, and not that he was chosen to be an oracle, because he was such in his nature in the first place, which i would like much better.

But! In the flashback with Endarno, that is, to my mind, exactly what Endarno implies! H. is a fighter in a war here and E. saves his life saying he senses a great power in H. and that he should act on it - then in the following flashbacks it's like H. went and became a cool martial arts master... and it just feels sort of... why...

(note: i presume that the flashbacks went in this order, bc E. calls Himerish "young asha (tribe name)")

my problem may be that I am not as much into warrior trope, as Im into powerful spiritual being trope... and also im probably too much of a hippie

But the first flashback actually looks like there would be more beyond! Endarno literally goes against his own commander, as H. is from the enemy tribe and is a captive to be executed. And it is said that E. already had doubts, even though he was a great warrior, bc his boss was very cruel, but it is meeting Himerish that gives him the final motivation to stand against the meaningless bloodshed! Implying that H. has definitely a hippie vibe... and H. also gives this impression, bc he's so serene and passive when they aim to kill him (although that may be some basiliadian feature dunno..) but.. then he goes to be just a better fighter.. like don't they have any other kind of spiritual power in Basiliade than becoming a cool warrior??

I mean, I liked Orube-Luba flashbacks very much, where Luba was the wise warrior mentor and it was cool. But we don't get anything like that with Himerish, right? He's just shown to have been really cool at fighting. Yarr is just really crazy about him as his former master, as if he was truly a different kind of being, but there is no word then about him being also a spiritual mentor.. maybe it is just not shown, but then - why not?

when i saw the first flashback, i sort of thought it would have been better, if H. was actually a hippie in his heart - maybe even against the custom of Basiliade. He said E. helped him a lot - so couldn't it be that this young guy who fights like everyone else does, then realizes he could just stop doing that and work out his inner spirit and power that has the nature of peace and connection, instead of fighting? I really really doubt that the Kandrakar council would have gone like - this guy is cool with sword, let's make him oracle. He must have had some other power before and I'm kind of sorry that they didn't work with it somehow... I'm also not so much into his warrior attire hehe

Now to go a full circle, I associate this type of wisdom actually with his nice and light-hearted mode and not so much with angry fighter mode.. he was angry before when something bad happened to Kandrakar, but that was different, then when he couldnt admit his mistakes, that was foreshadowing of his downfall, but his fighting mode was just so strange to me.. what's with the sword, do some magic and restore the peace of Kandrakar after your return, bc the peace and stability and light powers are your nature and not just your politcal function..

then again i admit that while i didn't like much what they did to his character in the following arcs, i could understand his departure.. so the described reason seemed like all his change was to nothing, for he again just didnt listen to anyone despite his former promises, but i could see another reason in line with arc 4, and that is actually his change, he became too human (or whatever species he is) and maybe it was even difficult for him to return to the position - bc this is literally shown at the end of arc 4 when he's contemplating before being reinstated.. and i like that.. cause im kinda very much into spiritual beings becoming human tropes.. or like generally emotionally repressed people rediscovering life..

Well, I get that some people really like warrior trope, so no hate, fandom is a free space yeah! Anyway, these were my thoughts, Im impressed you scrolled this deep, thank you! Tell me your thoughts on this pls Im happy to find more people to discuss witch to an unhealthy level! As a bonus, my two favourite memes/fanarts about H.'s earthly clothes:

(source: https://tuherrus.tumblr.com/post/189587505767/oookay-heres-a-witch-art-dump-im-gonna)

(source: https://www.deviantart.com/rukietta89/art/Shopping-with-Orube-97101177)

EDIT: ok i posted this like half an hour ago, but i got a sudden feeling that i was not entirely fair, so i want to say that i also feel that his conective and calming spirit shows up in those really nice mentor moments towards the guardians, although that doesn't go really against my original interpretation/headcanon - he was a confused young boy with a talent, now he's a mature, more steady guy with a talent, regaining understanding of life in 4th arc, which, ideally, would make him even more sensitive and calming, and that would be cool

[moonpool-system]

i want to vent a little. If it's ok. Im a person with tulpa. Who was in tulpamancy-community for almost ten years, passively looking and reading many blogs. And it's bizzare for me how people see headmates/alters in DID/OSDD same as their source??? Like...

I just were in a community and did read, spoke with so many people with tulpas who are always so different from source! There was hosts with same character as a tulpa, and oh gosh how they were different and how much they did change (esp when you read blog pists like. Ten years old)! The only similarity always was name and looks (tho even these both changed for many).

And it's just so bizzare for me how many systems experience weird attention to certain fictives, because... Some people really do think they're same and related to source that much?..

Idk. In russian speaking community i don't really see trend of people expecting tulpas to be like sources, the opposite is the norm. Tulpas! The "i want to spoil and hug this character so i will create them from scratch".

Even there it's wide known fact that they're aren't their source. Heck, they sometimes even change identity to be completely sepatate from source, and even don't want to use tulpa labels. (the "i was there long before you forced and knew about tulpamancy" happens often.) And how wide-spread this experience is among OSDD and DID systems makes me kinda... Uh, feel weird? Like, im a crazy? Im i treating them as source and don't notice? Is there people who can't comprehend it, so many, and i never saw them? Uh... It's so confusing. Thank you for reading.

Hey, so this is Akira, Persona 5. I'm a source LOVING fictive, for me whenever people ask me about source things it's ridiculously affirming to my identity and who I am. I'm a traumagenic alter in a (P-)DID system, but I'm also a representation of our spiritual past life, so I'm also alterhuman in that way. I'm here to say, basically, every fictive is different. The tulpamancy community is very specifically focused on giving your tulpa agency and making sure they're not conforming to your expectations of them, and since they're being created over time with a base instead of appearing here (almost) all at once in one way or another, it only makes sense you'll find source separated tulpas all over the place. Our tulpa Badeline is the same, she's still herself but she's very different from source now. But if you look into the soulbonding community, you'll find it to be much more focused on fictives' sources and oftentimes how to handle living as a soulbond and grapple with your memories.

I've only been using spiritual sources as an example, but regardless of your origin, how connected you feel to your sourceself or source memories you are is your choice. I mean, otherkin and other alterhumans aren't hurting anyone by being connected to their source, so why should there be an assumption that it hurts us? It depends on the fictive. Our three golden rules are this: treat them like a person, don't ask questions that'd be invasive if it happened to the body, and go by their individual judgement for what's ok.

[kodachromantic]

wrote some braindump abt the hawthorne timeline last night cause when you think about it there are a lot of questions and ideas to put in. idek what happened but all of a sudden dahlia became a very interesting character to me (iris too but dahlia is just kinda surprising)

huge mega spoilers for aa3, also large and likely boring so uhh read more

thinking abt dahlia and how weird things are in the beginning of her timeline before things actually start happening and im trying to think of how to fill the gaps. what age were they taken away by their father? isn't it crazy how the family relation is kinda sorta glossed over for all of this?? mia and dahlia are COUSINS, BRO, FUCKING COUSINS AND PEARL IS HER SISTER LIKE!!!!! BITCH!!!!! there's a 4yr age gap between d/i and mia. were misty and morgan somewhat estranged maybe?? we know morgan lived in fey manor, but was that just bc she was maya's caretaker or would she have lived there regardless? did she leave once the master title was given to misty and then moved back in later? mia could be young enough with some leeway for them to have been taken when they were toddlers and have no memories (if they lived in different houses or something).

dahlia thought morgan abandoned them bc they had little/no power but that brings up a question of when can you tell of one's spiritual power? i feel like it makes sense to just say, you can't tell that young, thats just the reasoning dahlia came up with or maybe what her father told her. age here depends on how many memories you want them to have of kurain & morgan, if any--maybe 2-4 y/o so mia would be 8 at most.

how long did iris live with dahlia and their dad? how old were they when their father remarried? i'd kinda put this at around 8-10 years old just as a feeling. how long was iris around until she was taken away? did bikini know her origin? did she speak to morgan? oh god imagine bikini alerting morgan and morgan is either pregnant with pearl or just had her and rejects iris coming back in a cruel twist of fate (i think im using that right? lol) bc although morgan didn't abandon them bc of their lack of spiritual power, she now doesn't want iris back because of it

okay 14 years old now, post fake kidnapping. wiki says valerie found dahlia and took care of her. so dahlia was considered legally dead bc terry was arrested for her murder. i think i forgot valerie forged all the melissa foster documents and just assumed dahlia did those herself or even just didn't have documents?? i mean it says "unable to get her original papers" so i didnt think of valerie making any new ones. and then post/during fawles trial, she's just given her info back? i mean edgeworth knew who she was. nothing really happened?? it was just, yep that stuff was weird but here's ur id back. do u think her dad thought she was dead, did he believe in the story or knew it was fake? do u think he gave a shit??? does dahlia live with valerie afterwards? she was 18 at the time of the fake kidnapping, so 18-22 years old taking care of her (valerie died at 23, dahlia would be 18 when valerie turns 22)? or did she go back home to her dad like "whoopsies" and her dad just does not care i dont even know what happened to the diamond after. i guess the two were able to pawn it and get the money that way rather than from the dad and that's how valerie looked after dahlia?? either they lived together or valerie set up dahlia with a living space and sent her money or she just lived independently with valerie checking in. it feels vaguely like ema like "who took care of this child and where did they live"

the idea of valerie taking care of dahlia and somewhat being that parental figure for her but it's too late for dahlia for that sort of kindness to change her path. she was also probably too close in age so dahlia would be like "whatever bitch" as you can tell dahlia & iris have become very interesting characters to me over the past few days lmfao

wait thinking on it maybe dahlia did know they were cousins. she knew morgan was her mom, she saw the last name fey and mia's magatama, thats not hard to put together

------

thats the end of what i wrote lol, i've been trying to write a comic idea out for the past couple days in the evenings abt dahlia and iris and i kept getting into roadblocks, first just the idea of writing and how daunting/hard it is, but then later the timeline and how it'd work and if my ideas for it even fit. so i had an idea for them to talk about their father briefly but then remembered dahlia jumped off the damn bridge & melissa foster and it got me down a rabbit hole. so now i'm either going to rethink that section or just plow through like fuck it and maybe change my idea for the timeline at a later date. who knows if it'll even be made w the pace im going lmfao!!!

i do like that bikini/morgan interaction tho i think i'll try and make that. if anyone reads this at all first of all hi teehee second of all if you want to do that idea literally feel free i wouldnt be upset in the slightest. lil egotistical of me to assume someone would want to tho LOL

[mousemilf]

half baked rambling time. i feel like the element people mean by "soul" wrt art when they call ai art "soulless" is like. the minuscule amount of content that comes from the inevitable small decisions taking place in any handmade image. that is to say that like, in an otherwise contentless piece you can glean a tiny amount of meaning from decisions the artist made about markmaking. a similarly contentless ai-generated image obviously lacks this element just due to the nature of its creation. but i feel like this element is not nearly as important in actually good art that contains other, more substantial content, and the problem is probably that the majority of people are used to seeing extremely contentless "art" where that element of decision making is the only meaningful thing taking place in a piece that says nothing besides "look at this cool/pretty image."

i think this ties back to the weird way we treat certain forms of "art" as innately more sacred than other human activities and the way we view "artists" as like spiritual mediums possessed by an ineffable spirit of creativity or whatever but like. a decorated room or a playlist can sometimes communicate a much more coherent aesthetic sensibility or direct meaning than a bad painting. and by bad i do not mean like technically lacking but contentless i know im saying that word a lot but idk what else to call it.

anyway i think a lot of the whole thing about ai "art" traces back to people viewing too many really bad "art" images and being unable to recognize that the only interesting thing going on with them is markmaking choices and the technical skill of the artist. im saying this as someone who went to art school and copies reference images as my day job. there is nothing particularly special about creating images and a lot of what we're talking about when we say "art" is barely anything beyond that. unfortunately.

[kebriones]

hi! i saw your tag about not using "hellenismos" to denote modern hellenic pagan practice. could you elaborate why? google is not very helpful im afraid, and i saw a lot of non-Greek people use the terminology very loosely. id appreciate your explanation if you care to give one, and sorry for your time if you dont want to explain :)

have a good day either way!

Hi!

Okay so, I need to start by saying that I'm not like....super serious about this, personally, because I think people can use whatever words they want, I just know it bothers a lot of greek people, it's slightly jarring to see, and it's just in my opinion not the best term to use. I know it's wide spread, I don't have any delusions that it can change at this point, but it's still a little pet peeve of mine.

The main thing is that hellenismos/hellenism as a greek word is used by greeks to describe the whole of our culture, or, on occasion, both the culture and the people. So seeing it used to describe hellenic paganism/polytheism is kinda off putting, if only because it means something else to us, and i know many greeks who don't like the use of it as describing spiritual/religious practices, and many who don't know about these things but i guarantee they will still find it weird. And it's in my opinion an unnecessary term, when hellenic polytheism/ paganism exist and work much better.

That's the main argument i have.

Now some other stuff:

Hellenism was used by emperor julian in the 300s CE to describe the old greek/pagan religion and even that, it's more of an assumption from the context/choice of translation if my understanding of the source material is right, which might not be because I'm not an expert in any way in these things. If it was actually referring to the religion, we must still understand that before that, we don't have any similar use of the term, nor was it widespread somehow afterwards. It's very recently that it started being used to describe hellenic polytheism, well after it had started being used by greeks to define themselves, if my understanding is correct and I'm not missing historical info.

Now take this with a grain of salt but

I have seen people mention the term being promoted/ used by the YSEE (you might find them mentioned as the council) which is absolutely not an organization i think you should support or listen to in any way. I'm not going to go into detail for that, and I don't know to what extent they have contributed to the spreading of hellenism used as a term for their religion but I have seen them use it a lot. If i manage to find more info on that i will update the post, but i had to mention it because i really, strongly recommend that everyone stays very far away from them.

Hope that helped somehow. Basically the word means something else for us greeks and it's kinda weird to see it used as the name for hellenic polytheism and truly unnecessary.

[httpiastri]

okay this is a really long ask again bc i cannot shut up so it’s spirituality first then a lot on paul and pee at the end

but NO WAY YOU LIKED NICKELODEON TOO OMG THAT USED TO ALSO BE MY ROUTINE AFTER SCJOOL like id get home and do everything i needed to do just so i could watch victorious, the thundermans, and more and it’s crazy that you have so many experiences surrounding nickelodeon omgomg AND THE FACT THAT YOU DREAMT OF IT?? ive always had dreams that foreshadowed many many events in my life, especially significant events, sometimes months or years before they would happen but sometimes it happens to me with silly little things too and i believe that it happened to you too omg

things like that have happened to me for as long as i can remember so i’m always asking if it’s intuition or me manifesting it and like… could be both tbh

although my intuition has always been crazy strong and i’ve never ignored it even once and it has paid off really well but then again, manifestation is basically just the belief that your thoughts create your reality, simple as that. if you believe it to be true, then it’s true, so sometimes i wonder if my intuition is just a reflection of what i believe to be true, and that in turn is what ends up manifesting? if that makes sense.

and you saying, “it's such a weird coincidence that's not rlly a coincidence....” ?? I AGREE?? 100% because you go about life with people and youre like omg we both did this in this year? and we were in the same place during this time? and we know so many people mutually? and we just dismiss it all as a coincidence until youre like… wait bc how many coincidences until it’s not a coincidence, yk? i feel like the way you put it is like the perfect way of describing everything

(and if paul does end up winning the feature race then… 🤭🤭) but speaking of paul… i find it so odd that the same thing happened in both F3 and F2?? with the win being snatched away at the last moment 🤧🤧 like the worst part is i can’t even be mad about paul not getting his win, like i’m def gutted for him but franco also won it fair and square (i don’t think he passed the track limits, from what i saw anyway) and so it just sucks that things like this happen but im also!! so incredibly proud of franco because i understand what it must mean for him to be the first Argentinean F2 race winner like he’s literally made history within those few seconds but i have no doubt paul’s going to be driving with incredible intensity tomorrow (this is unrelated but at the start of the season idk why i used to be a little afraid of how harsh (…?) he’d become in terms of his driving style… like sometimes i’d feel like it was almost a little dangerous, especially when there were a few conflicts with kimi and i used to be worried that paul might’ve been taking out some anger onto kimi and it used to worry me a bit but i think……. it’s better now? i really really hope so because conflict scares me so bad and especially since no one knows if kimi and paul are still friends, and even they aren’t, you can’t really blame paul because kimi really got two major things that mattered to paul but also idk i think i’m rambling atp but i hope that even if he drives madly tomorrow, it isn’t at the cost of the safety of any of the drivers on track, including him)

but i was actually heartbroken over pepe though 😕😕 i can’t imagine being in his position, probably hoping to get a fresh start after the break and doing so well in between only for this to happen… and like with the way they replayed the incident in the race it looked like he was in the wrong but i rewatched it and it seemed mutual?? so idk why he was the only one who received a penalty for it but like ive also been in positions where i just became a little out of sync with things i usually excel at, and idk how to word it properly but i have a feeling he’s probably experiencing it rn which sucks 😓😓 i hate that feeling so much because you just feel so icky and everything seems so disjointed and im just wishing the best for him tbh, especially since i think it’s pretty clear that he holds himself up to really high standards, and even when he’s in a position someone else might be more than happy with, he’s just not satisfied with it…?

i NEED for pepe to be happy again with race results for once like it’s really all ive been asking for recently

- 🪷

paul and pee, my loves 🥰 sjdkfhdj sorry i had to

but omfg you saying that about nickelodeon, that's so crazy !!!! dreams are such a cool thing, i used to dream like every night but now it's rarely ever.... wish i had more clear examples of stuff ive dreamed about happening irl because i have a very strong feeling that it has happened at least a couple of times? but i can't come up with a single example rn?? 😭

that's also really cool!! and yes i think it makes sense, it's a very interesting thought. i always feel like my intuition is strong when it's about like little silly things, like "how many stones are under this cup", but im thinking like... what if i do trust my intuition way more than i remember, maybe i just haven't acknowledged it or really recognized that that's what im doing? im definitely gonna be more open-minded when it comes to my intuition and kinda try to see what happens 🤭

YES YES exactly!! how many coincidences until it's not a coincidence????????? because when i talk to people about stuff like this, most of them are just "yeah weird coincidence lol" but when does it become something bigger? it's v v v interesting, i personally don't think there have to be a lot of them to actually maybe be something more...

also kinda off topic but also not?? i dont want this to become a religious thing because idk how you feel about that, but i used to be kinda christian when i was younger just because i refused to believe that i just "happened" to land on this planet at this time as a human being. like you're telling me that the universe has been a thing for billions and billions of years, and that it's infinitely large, and i just happen to be a living human here right now?????? there's just no way. like rn idk if i would say that im religious but i believe that there's a reason that im here right now. i believe that there's something or someone (or whatever) kinda making up the world or guiding things, or something, and that's why i don't really see a lot of things as coincidences? like a lot of the time i say "it's a sign 😁" when there are "coincidences" and people think im joking but im usually at least a bit serious on the inside lol. idk if you get what im saying? if any part of this was okay to understand?? but yeah basically people around me have always looked at me weirdly for believing in spiritual stuff etc, so ive tried to hide and repress it but you're waking up all of these emotions in me and i just 😭

i think i jinxed paul win by talking too much about it... the times when ive been right haven't rlly been intentional so i think i shouldn't have shared this with everyone 😭 welp... but yes that's very odd!! and just like franco having his maiden f3 win in the imola sprint two years ago? and now maiden f2 win in the sprint?? 😦 and for example baku is an interesting circuit, ollie taking his maiden f2 win there in the sprint and then winning the feature too, and what happened at the same track two years earlier?? juri vips took his maiden f2 win in a sprint and then won the feature aswell..... an estonian driver in a hitech, will we see the same this year in baku?????????? (or do we have to wait until next year bcs so far it's been every other year? 😭)

yeah im super happy for franco too, i also think it was just a great move 🤭 but omg i totally see what you mean about paul and his driving style.... ive been so worried that he's gonna crash into kimi and just 😭 like yk what he wrote in his insta channel thing? about "i would've won the race if antonelli didn't do his wonder kid thing and ruin my race" after melbourne 😭 he's so so cocky istg (ALSO OMG did you see the clip from the press conference yesterday abt beating most of the big names in the championship??? 😶) but i still love him loads. but yeah i too feel more safe with him on the track, maybe especially since he has turned out to be doing better than i (and probs him too) expected and now he doesn't wanna ruin this lol. but yeah he must have such a complicated relationship with kimi, they used to be cute friends but it's very understandable to feel conflicted when kimi got everything paul should've had 😭

we were heartbroken yesterday already, but today... after this race...... i didn't even focus on all of the replays tbh because i was watching an hour late and in the car, but :(( even if it was his fault, that's not fair 💔 sdjfhdkfj. but yes gosh i agree with everything you're saying, he's so calm and cool off the track but so competitive and like a sore loser (this isn't exactly what i mean but english doesn't have a word for the swedish term im thinking of) in a good way? not in the way that he blames other people incessantly when he loses, but more that he hates it and blames himself and needs to do it better the next time. so this weekend.... 🥲 but yes yes i relate to that feeling too.... it feels so common in sports to do really well one week and the next you're like "?? what's going on????" :(((( and y e s you're so right about him holding himself up to really high standards 🥲 so painful to see

but uh yeah he will do well in monaco, i trust it!! it will happen!!!!!!!

[bigmack2go]

Continuing my parents guides

As allways: if you are a parent, DO NOT use these. Im begging you save your child the embarrassment. This is only for educational purposes and so you know what we are talking about when we use these.

That being said imma teach u the months to you now. Dont u dare interupt me i know u know the months. But u dont. So stfu. (Haha did u do ur homework? Do u know what stfu means?)

Okay lets go

So January is new starts and shit thats not something that only we do

February is honestly nothing special. Maybe we make fun of it being short like we do woth our friends but even that isnt very common

Now march, march is where the fun begins. March is when caesar was murdered. We usually have a bunch of phineas and ferb memes. Its also womens month.

In april spiritual people, religious people etc often do what imma simplify to you as „recharge“. Theres also a whole lot of complaints about the weather so theres that.

I honestly dont think may has anything special but i have adhd so i might be forgetting smt major rn lmao

June. Listen, we love june. June is the month of the ✨guh-guh-guh-gaAYS✨. (June is pridemonth)

And in july we complain that companies only use pride month for promo.

August. Im gonna be honest im not really objective on this bc its my birthday in august so thats sortof the only thing august stand for to me lmao. Its summer tho, i can say that

Ooo the embers… this is gona be great

September usually gets roasted for being bisexual(?) in september the most people get cancelled (2024 is an exception prolly)

Oktober is the month of creativity. Its not actually lmao i just said that. Because in October we usually make a bunch of art challanges (or other challanges for each day. And then we put „tober“ at the end and tadaa. Inktober! Costober! Fotober! And all that. That originally began bc well obv october is helloween month right? Right. So they did this thing called spooktober. Which can be each of those, it just has to be scary yk? And because America is weird and they do halloween wrong (/hj) they just don’t always use the spook and instead make whatever tober. (This whole explanation was a joke. Pls dont cancel me) and then theres hell week

Now hold your horses and settle your seatbelts for november cuz dis gon be a hell of a ride. It’s honestly actually not that much. Its just one thing but you’re gonne be a little disturbed after it. So november is NNN which is short for No Nut November. Boys chllange themselves to not masturbate or do anything sexual for that whole month. I have no idea where that came from so dont kick me. Its not my fault. Anyway youre gonna see a whole lot of people setting their profile pictures to eggs. Now ik i said its only one thing but see- it is one thing. The eggs are related to that. A whole egg means they still havent „lost“ nnn. A broken egg signals people in comentsections to pay respect to their fallen brother/the fallen soldier (youre gonna find some of both brother and soldier) also when i said we love the tembers its because some people make variations of this in september oktober and December too. Idek

December is basically just Christmas.

ByyEEE

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: csa, incest, emotional abuse, self harm, medical issues.

looking for advice.

tl;dr, i think my mother sexually abused me, but im confused and uncertain what to call it, and wondering how i could bring it up to my therapist. also, for anatomical context, im a 20yo nonbinary person who was assigned female at birth & my mother is a cisgender woman.

hi. i don’t really know how to start this so im sorry but im just gonna launch right in. basically, my mother did some things to me as a child that made me extremely uncomfortable, and which have definitely caused some trauma. this all occurred from since i was very young up until i was about 13. she watched me shower naked even when i was expressing discomfort to the point of tears, had me shower with her when i was too old and uncomfortable about it, often touched my genitals and put (non-medical) creams on and in them for "health reasons", would penetrate my vagina with her fingers during those sessions, and was naked around me all the time. when my dad would be away on trips, she would make me sleep in her bed with her while she was naked and make me hug her, and would ask me to sleep naked/with less clothes on too, but i always refused this. again, i told her how uncomfortable it made but it didn’t matter to her.

these experiences affected me pretty negatively - i have nightmares about being raped or a friend being raped, or about trying to escape a rapist. sometimes ive gotten so terrified of being assaulted, i would do illogical stuff like hanging crystals over my bed for "protection" (despite usually not believing in spiritual things - everyone’s beliefs are valid of course, but personally it’s not something i believe in) or block my door with shoes (which ultimately could be pushed out of the way so it wasn’t that effective, but again it was based more on fear than logic). i get really scared and shaky when someone touches me. i get flashback sensations where it feels like im being touched in private areas. i don’t even like to think about sex, though im not sure if that’s because of trauma or if im maybe just asexual.

the issue is, i don’t know if any of that counts as actual sexual abuse because i don’t know if she got any sexual pleasure out of it. yes, it affected me, and yes, shes a bad person in many other ways - but that doesn’t mean that she was intentionally sexually assaulting me.

she has emotionally abused me pretty severely throughout my entire life. most of it is just the usual stuff - calling me names, slurs, and swear words, telling me im worthless or a waste, threatening me, saying no one wants me and no one will ever believe me, etc. but there’s a few things that stand out in relation to her possible csa of me.

1) she definitely uses "health reasons" and medical stuff as an excuse for emotional abuse, so it would make sense for her to use it as an excuse for csa. for example, some of her emotional abuse involved taking me to a doctor and making me get a blood test because i was "behaving badly" and she decided that there must be something medically wrong with me for me to behave this way, so i had to get blood drawn to run tests. the tests came back perfectly fine. 2) she used to seemingly get some sort of pleasure out of watching me self harm. i used to hit and punch myself to the point of bruising, often using a piece of wood to make it worse, and she would just watch and laugh. she’d make comments about how i was crazy and how everyone would eventually find out that i was insane. in a weird way, those comments kind of encouraged me to hurt myself worse… i guess since she was so flippant about it, or because they made me hate myself more. anyway, i don’t know what she got out of all that, but it made her smile and laugh to see me hurt, so maybe she really does get some kind of strange pleasure out of messing with me, im not sure. 3) she often used me as a bit of a personal therapist, even when i was 6 or possibly younger, so it’s possible that she would just use me as a replacement for her husband when he wasn’t home. i’ve always felt like im no more than a belonging to her, an object that serves a purpose but should never have feelings of its own. she’s told me many times that she wanted a child so she would have someone to "talk at", and she’s admitted that she would get mad at me as an outlet for grief when her own mother died. if she used me for sexual/romantic reasons, it wouldn’t totally be out of character.

on the other hand, im sure it could be explained in a more innocent way. maybe she did touch me for health reasons. and she probably just didn’t care about my discomfort/fear/etc related to the showering and nakedness. it’s more likely that she simply didn’t care about my emotions, rather than her getting sexual pleasure from it. maybe it was just another part of her emotional abuse, except with weird physical contact and the violation of sexual boundaries, cause she really messed with me psychologically.

so is it still sexual abuse if the violation of boundaries and non-consensual touching of private areas wasn’t necessarily due to her being some kind of pedophile, but rather just not really caring or whatever? what even counts as sexual abuse/assault when it’s a woman doing it to another afab person? how can i explain it to my therapist when it’s all very complicated and unclear in my own head?

thank you for reading. hope you’re doing well.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been through.

I don't think that a perpetrator must derive sexual gratification in order for it to be considered sexual abuse, because intent isn't more important than impact. Sometimes genitals need to be touched for medical reasons, but it sounds like it was used as an excuse here. Even if it were "accidental" which by the repeated nature of these situations it seems otherwise, what still transpired was SA. I think also what you mentioned about the additional emotional abuse strengthens the argument that she knew what she was doing. There's no explanation for watching you shower or showering with you at an older age where this wasn't necessary. There's no explanation for being made to sleep naked with her. There's no explanation for her ignoring you expressing your discomfort with all of this. It's ultimately up to you how to name your experiences, but you can call this SA, CSA, or incest if any feel fitting to you.

I'm glad to hear that you have a therapist you can talk to about this. However you feel comfortable explaining this to your therapist is okay. You don't have to have a concise narrative, it's okay to explain it in whatever way makes most sense to you, and your therapist can explore certain parts more in order to get a more comprehensive understanding.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[dancingisdangerouss]

Okay so writing this I’m not fully here atm so forgive me if this is weird, but can I request some headcanons of any of the EH characters comforting you after losing your best friend if possible? Just lost mine so Im craving some comfort- 🤪💀

Oh god I’m so, so sorry to hear that. Of course dear, I’ll do my best with the ones I know. I’m sorry for your loss, love (not sure if you mean by death or by losing the friendship itself, but grieving is involved in both. People forget sometimes that grief comes in a lot of different ways). It’s never easy losing someone you love.

Al:

He’s not the best comfort, namely because he doesn’t fully grasp the concept of loss. Judging from his reaction when he killed Max, he’s obviously upset but still kind of just like “oh no! Anyway…”

But he tries. He certainly wouldn’t want to lose you/have you taken from him. I headcanon that he and Max did also have a rocky relationship with some bitterness attached there, so that’s also a factor in him seeming so cold about his death.

He doesn’t like seeing you upset unless it’s something he caused (and even then, only if it was intentional). So he won’t really know what to say to offer comfort, but would definitely be a physical comfort.

Just like, letting you lay with your head in his lap while he strokes your hair, wiping or kissing your tears and massaging your shoulders. Holding you to his chest, silent as he lets you sob and talk about it. Even if he has nothing to say, he’ll listen attentively.

He’s…he’s also selfish. We know this. So I’m sure he’d somehow manage to eventually turn it into something to benefit him, like encouraging you to cuddle and cockwarm him on the couch, or indulging himself by going down on you because “it’ll help you feel better.” He’s an ass. 🙄

Ernst Toller:

Ernst would be incredibly sympathetic to your pain. He knows what it is to lose someone you love, and he’s dealt with existential questions and self-doubt.

He would offer spiritual comfort if that would be something beneficial to you, but he’s not the type of person to force beliefs on you if you’re not religious.

Ernst would be there for you in whatever way he can be, whether that be to be a listening ear, to offer words of wisdom/advice/comfort, or to just gently hold you in his arms while you cry.

Just a major softie.

Paul (Valley of violence):

There’s not as much known about his character, but we know he’s loved and lost, and no longer feels worthy of love or affection.

We saw how hard he took it when he lost his best friend. He would understand your pain, and feel comfortable opening up to you about his own, as well as his past.

Basically a support group/therapy session wherein you’re both getting mutual support for the things you’ve endured. Maybe even just sharing fond memories of those you’ve lost, then sharing a drink and watching the sun setting.

Arthur:

Arthur is wise (not beyond his years tho, he’s old lmao). He may not be empathetic, but he is very discerning, and would know exactly what words to say to make you feel better.

It’s always hard to tell with Arthur when he’s being genuine or not. Sometimes, I think he’s so deeply rooted in his own facade of himself that even he doesn’t know when he’s being sincere. So he’ll coo at you and be loving and soft and sweet, but you will never truly know what he’s really feeling.

Arthur does of course care for you, but his way of caring may look different from other people. He knows what “care” looks like and will emulate it, holding and rocking you in his arms, brushing a hand through your hair, etc. But it’s hollow love.

However—you sometimes catch him showing his own way of caring, keeping a consistent eye on you everywhere you go, ensuring you’re eating enough/sleeping enough/etc.

He may not have much compassion toward the dead (he shot our baby in cold blood and admitted to Khonshu he enjoyed doling out his punishments), but he doesn’t like seeing you in pain, so he does what he can to offer comfort, both in fake and earnest ways.

[abyssalpriest]

I think.... I really needed to make peace with that game and reconnect with him and remember him as first and foremost being the Day Sky to me like at the same time... I guess it's a No Shit Dei situation, Leviathan is a damn world-widely worshiped spirit he knows what he's doing he is ancient but like

I can't.... Explain in words how much of myself and my will to do spirit work and my stability and trust in myself was lost when I broke up w my ex, figuring out the little cult he had started surrounding this game I won't mention by name was...... A fucking cult and a section of a larger organised cult that he purposely kept me isolated from for Cult Reasons ie he purposely isolated members of his religious followings from each other in order to stop them piecing shit together and like.... Look. It was a cult.

I... Was so ready, when I worked with that game as a basis for my spirituality, to be insane. To be mad, to be on the border of humanity and the spiritual, to say weird shit. My power is partially in the sky and partially in madness and partially in the eldritch (one day I'll find a name for this since I don't like lovecraft and fiction-based connotations for myself, because surprise surprise due to aforementioned cult reasons that's a bit of a sensitive thing), that's me, the intersection of the day and the madness of communion with knowledge and God and the deep and dark tendril-based watery depths.... and I associated the eldritch with my abusive cult leader ex and the madness of the time was all me spouting his cult ideas and things that explicitly were made up to a larger audience, and the sky..... I felt like I was a piece of shit and I was so disconnected from so much of myself that I couldn't be a part of the sky. Today marks a change

I'm allowed to be batshit insane and still know what I am talking about. I'm allowed to be eldritch and not inherently be a danger to people. I am (a part of) the overarching Day Sky which always takes up huge swathes of space and has a presence and is liminal and transcendental and undefined - and also is neutral and doesn't rule over incarnated Earth nor is it more important than Earth, the sky and the earth are eternal equal lovers with different skills and strengths and techniques but remain in love. The sky is allowed to exist in neutrality. I'm so sick of existing in discourse online where one team has to be righteous and therefore deserves power over the wicked and the other side is wicked and therefore must be punished... I'm sick of microanalysing every little thing I do because it gets completely in the way of what spirit work is. For fucks sake man I'm able to sit here discussing views on human sacrifice with gods where we're allowed to have very different views without judgement, I'm allowed to say woah but it's a human life and they're allowed to say yes but you eat animals, can't we eat you? And no one witch hunts anyone, we can debate.... And we talk (unrelatedly) how I want to consume because I am a living being and a growing spirit that hungers, and does that mean I'm ready to be consumed? When the hunt turns on me will I be ready to be eaten alive? having intellectual conversations on these topics with ancient nature spirits.... Enlightening. Mind-blowing. Completely new ways of seeing the world and then completely new ways of seeing what I'm seeing... Meanwhile back on this plane if I say the wrong word that I didn't know was bad I'm expected to lie down and take it when I'm hunted for sports, not because we admit we're all animals who want to enforce order but because Im a disgusting beast....

I can finally admit I am gentle by force of will because I do not wish to harm people, I do everything I can to stick to my morals and be gentle, I am simply existing, doing my job, spreading information which is by itself neutral - not even teaching, just leaving my records of my Tantric evolving journey into awakening to my true self for others to see as a curiosity.... I'm tired of That Game I Mentioned (or the version of it my ex taught me) and the cult I was in surrounding said game colouring my vision and I am tired of not embodying the part of nature I have been since before discourse was a thing because; despite the fact I know I cry if I offend people let alone actively hurt them, I am listening eternally for every other humans opinions on what I am doing before I do anything. But I do not work for humans. Why have I been so upset day in day out about every little wrong thing I do, every off phrasing of sentences, tearing apart everything I am and do and hating it because it's all marred with hurtful clumsy problematic takes and uneducated opinions and dangerous ideas? Why am I paranoid about hurting people to the point of wringing dry all my experiences of all their character and nuance? I do not work for humans.

I am allowed to make mistakes and mess up and I will correct myself. I need to trust that. I need to trust that most people will just tell me if I do something that's a social faux pas and just talk it out with me... And as my Lord said, I need to acknowledge that I work for him, a spirit to whom humans have been sacrificed and many have lost their lives - but also because of whom we are here today and who watches over us and loves us actively and constructively and teaches us things that progress our civilisation forward. I work for something that is beyond what our human minds can wrap around and confine into human morality and discourse... And I work for him as in I don't just bow to him but channel him, he possesses me, I am one of his vessels, my eyes are his eyes whenever he wants them. He comes round to eat my food, to read my messages to friends, to give opinions, to rearrange my furniture, there is increasingly less and less divide between us....... Which means I have to be ready to transcend past human imposed barriers on thought and progress. And that means I, a part of the Day Sky, need to trust my Lord, and I have learned.... That I can. And I want to. I'm ready to trust again. Accidentally just highlighted the text from need to trust my Lord to the end of the last sentence and it was highlighted in day sky blue lmfao. Thank you. I will.

[circulars-reasoning]

So just going through the process of creating an alter makes it automatically fit the definition of a thoughtform, regardless of how much time is spent or trauma influences.

i think you can be a thoughtform and be traumagenic, or influenced by trauma when being formed. they aren't mutually exclusive, they're labels for experiences

If just thinking about something really hard created a thoughtform, then most writers are also practicing this; what becomes the difference between a very active imagination and created thoughtforms?

have you ever heard of the "soulbonding" community? many writers experience some form of thoughtform creation, it's just whether the thoughtform and the creator want to see it as anything more than just an active imagination, or if they want to be considered a system (or if the thoughtform / soulbond ends up becoming more sentient on their own and autonomous, at least in a sense)

(by the way, i am aware that some soulbonders are spiritual but not all are, and most still start that connection with the thoughtform / soulbond / create them through things like roleplay and storytelling, which could be mistaken for someone having just an overactive imagination instead of forming a sentient autonomous headmate / thoughtform)

This was on r/Tulpas, but everyone here said she would be one.

i think that could just be bias because you're talking about a created headmate in the community that calls created headmates tulpas. of course you saying "i intentionally created a headmate" would make them go "oh yeah, that sounds like making a tulpa" regardless if debra would fit the literal "textbook" definition. and also, you're on r/tulpas, this is the western community, not the buddhist community, the definitions would differ too.

Is it common for people to misgender thoughtforms by referring to them as “it”?

i think this is because they're referring to the whole concept of 'the being you created' and not of debra as a separate being / person. it's still weird and im judging them but i do not think it's intentionally transphobic / misgendering in a sense.

Addressing your points:

Then how does that make a thoughtform different from, say, an OC part in a CDD system, or a programmed alter? They're willfully created as well, so what's the delineation? If there isn't one, then the thoughtform community is suddenly open to a lot of people like me, meaning I can speak out about tulpamancy being appropriation (that was one of the big points of asking, honestly, was the amount of people telling me I couldn't speak up because I didn't have thoughtforms).

I've heard of the soulbonding community, but haven't looked at all into it. I will also say, as a writer, my imagination is very different from my parts, created or not.

I was looking into Western Tulpamancy to see if it did actually have any relation to the Buddhist practice; I had been told in the past that to have a Tulpa (in western tulpamancy) you had to follow certain buddhist practices. These individuals made it clear that wasn't the case. If going to the community and asking if I have a tulpa results in a resounding yes, despite the fact that I do not believe Debra to be a tulpa and despite the fact that I lacked any knowledge on Tibetan Buddhism at the time of her creation, then clearly, Tulpamancy is not this Special Thing That Needs A Special Name like some of these racists have been claiming.

I don't think it's intentional misgendering, but it was still misgendering, which is weird.

Thanks for your insights!

[papirouge]

I think it's weird that that Irish guy compared women reading erotica to men watching porn, when a more apt comparison would be men reading hentai. Like both written erotica and hentai are bad for the soul, but don't have any victims outside of the reader and writer (out of their own will, but victims in a way). None of these have actors drugged up so they can perform very humilliating acts and risking STDs, pregnancy and UTI.

Plus I hate when people try to equalize what men and women go through. Like, most people who watch porn are men (including some Christian ones, lets be honest here), and porn its literally catered to their fantasies. It's messed up when women stumble upon porn too because they are being fed degrading male fantasies that they might think its normal het sex, and might feel pressured to perform (many girls already admit to this). But then, I guess het porn is so depraved and male centered that somehow womens most watched category is lesbian porn (most of them being straight women). I think its weird he points out to porn with no women involved, because while that its true and bad in itself, het and lesbian porn are far more popular than gay porn. Like this are just facts that can be looked up.

Not to mention that most degrading and horrible acts are performed on the woman, and when its on the male its the bottom in gay porn. They are usually the ones getting choked, spit on, having semen thrown on their faces or being forced to swallow it, being the receiver on anal, having proplapses, being fisted on the vagina or anus, and so on. Its all based on violence and simply focuses on male pleasure. No gentle caressing for the women, or comfortable digital sex, or cunnilingus. Not that Im saying these things shoiuld be included, all porn should be erradicated, but the viewer watching this might expect their sex life to go the same way.

Also, I think its weird this same guy who wants to paint men and women on the same light as culprits on the sex industry, does not care to mention or see women who watch porn as victims and how it affects their self esteem and sex life, only the poor men and their ED and lack of motivation and incel tendencies.

This dude is sooooo corny and annoying ; he really think he's a Nice guy just because he's against post and agrees prostitution is a form of rape. Big deal. Congratulations for doing the bare minimum I guess?

And he won't make the comparaison with hentai bc the imbalance of male vs female consumption would be even more glaring. Hentai is an industry entirely dedicated to male. There's no female hentai author. Female author making drawn porn are either doing yaoi or yuri (although yuri made by women is closer to erotica than porn - you can easily clock yuri made by men because it's very male gaze-y). And you'll notice that either in yaoi or yuri, are the protagonist dehumanized like in hentai. Yaoi is infamous for sloppy toxic 'love' relationship, but there's still a storyline (tbh some yaoi characters can address interesting/deep issues such as repressed homosexuality, late blooming, etc.). In hentai, the female is treated like a sexual OBJECT with no substance whatsoever. I always said japanese male author were some of the worst are writing female characters and I stand by this word. Most iconic female manga characters were written by women. Period.

Even erotica isn't as bad as porn in male representation: men aren't reduced as "holes" to be "f*cked", and degraded into sex objects to be disposed of.... So even if we can agree exposing yourself to sexual content is ALWAYS spiritually damaging, the fact he removed any of that nuance to his statement lumping porn and erotica together was highly suspicious....

I mean the simple fact he lost his tits the moment people (bc I wasn't the only one) told him porn and erotica didn't have the same impact is everything you need to now about how his statement wasn't about acknowledging the damage of erotica, but rather equalizing male & female consumption of sex as an "entertainment", because men collectively have an extremely hard time to take accountability without trying to rub it onto women.

Remember that post I made a while ago saying some good Christian men on Tumblr pretended caring about radfem calling pro life and tradfem "pickme" and how "misogynist it was, and me pointing out that they actually didn't care about misogynist slurs directed at women, but pretended to do so to diss other women? Because when men defend women it's only to shove under the bus other women. That's precisely what he did there. That irish guy did the same by pretending caring about female consuming erotica...but what's interesting, is that to defend his shitty take, he suddenly got like "we don't speak enough about MALE victim of porn consumption ". See what he did there? He ultimately outed himself by straight up admitting he did all of this because of the poor male victims of porn consumption. Interestingly, in none of his posts he extended the same compassion for women who are reading erotica and who, following his own logic, are victims too. He ultimately only shown himself dragging women down to assimilate them to male pattern mediocrity (disingenuously lumping erotica as something as much damaging as the IRL porn industry), and elevate young boys as victims. Typical.

[writingbrainrot]

Hey. Allow me to introduce myself

Member in a system (i dislike roles but i'd technically be a reluctant host)

Neurodiverse af, disabled af and qpoc af

Body is 25*

I need a body double to start writing again ;__;

We prefer discord cus pluralkit but also just easier to have all communication in one place

We suck at replying on other platforms

If you are 22-30 and want to write together and also talk about blorbos and you're accepting of someone saying "hey saying that hurts me, could you not?" And capable of saying it back when you're hurt then lesgo 👉😊👉

(Aka im ok with people making honest mistakes but not wanting to fix them and grow, that just doesn't work with where i am in life atm)

If you identify as conservative, right-wing, anarchist or communist (USSR definition, not US's weird definition that just means empathy=communist) person then please do not message me. Biological family are survivors of the genocides done by soviet so let's just spare us all the pain and not interact/gen

What we write if that's important:

We're self-published and write as diverse stories as possible, in whatever genre we feel like (the main one tends to be slice of life though) that are meant to be accessible to people currently experiencing brainfog aka what we needed and still need/lh

Potential cons of knowing us/dealbreakers depending on who you are:

•Strongly opinionated on the opinions we have solidified based on the best info we can access. Examples:

"don't be a dick, if you are being one, fix that" or "human rights are not up for negotiation" or "genocide bad regardless of who it is done on" (surprised how often i have to state these/gen) but also ones that seem silly and yet i feel strongly about like "having problematic faves". Loving barbie/disney/veggietales while wholly rejecting the companies. Trying to see things in a more nuanced way etc etc

•i'm both spiritual and scientific

•body eats meat cus traditions and health

•may disappear from time to time for a few days up to a week cus crashes happen despite our best efforts

•c-ptsd but like.... i think that's a given on this site/lh

•We're also not good people. Not the worst but not good people, we're just people.

•so many special interests, obscene amount because of above c-ptsd/masking

•oh also if you're drawn to talk to me but currently think you're NT.... you may discover you relate to me a bit too much and realise you were less NT and more ND than you thought. Many a friends have discovered their diagnoses solely by us sharing our symptoms so like, if you don't want a/another diagnosis, steer clear?/lh

•learning to unmask so we get more and more "blunt" every week

•we also like to talk, v social and we will penguin pebble because sending things to friends is fun ^__^

•when triggered, our communication dramatically gets worse and more frantic (i think this is normal but at this point i'm not sure anymore)

Fave quotes:

"Let the world we dream about be the one we live in now"

"What would you take from a burning building?

Anyone can answer that, the fire"

"I feel weak

You've never looked stronger"

"Tu fui, ego eris"

"Fortuna favet fortibus"