#when i say i was absolutely DEVASTATED by this video………………

[driesdales]

all access – ducks night at angel stadium (or: watch jamie get bullied into pitching first)

[whumpy-wyrms]

it’s 3am and i’ve spent the past few hours drawing a bunch of doodles of me and anton hanging out together like we’re the bestest of friends because it’s my art and i can draw whatever i want forever

[elix8r]

Monkey Bars (sjy) Part 1

Part 2 

PAIRING: jake sim x fem!reader

GENRES: smut, fluff, crack, college au, frat au, enemies to lovers, exes to lovers, fwb, angst

WARNINGS (for this part): jake and Y/N being mean to each other (jake’s actually a menace), profanity, underage drinking, Jake does Beomgyu SO DIRTY like justice for my mans, intimate photos/video being seen by unwanted eyes, harassment (mostly verbal but it’s pretty upsetting), invasion of privacy, slut shaming, panic attack, jake seriously being an ass, mentions of stds, mean dom!jake, sub!reader, unprotected sex, oral sex (m recieving), face fucking, fingering, filming during sex, mirror sex, dumbification, humiliation

SUMMARY: Jake Sim was like the epitome of the perfect fourth-grade boyfriend. He had it all – being a year older automatically put him on the cool list (which in turn also boosted your popularity), genuinely kind, and very cute. But then, the earth-shattering truth that he was a two-timing cheater hit you like a ton of bricks. You caught him red-handed, holding another girl's hand and it devastated you beyond measure. So of course, in your nine-year-old mind, there was only one deserving punishment – a forceful push off the monkey bars during recess, resulting in a broken arm. 

And so, the battle lines were drawn. You and Jake became sworn enemies, a feud that carried on even into college. You saw him as a total fuckboy who always knew how to get under your skin, while he saw you as a snobby bitch who thought she was better than everyone else. But fate, in its twisted sense of humor, had other plans. Out of a class brimming with a hundred other possibilities, it was Jake who ended up being your assigned partner. 

Clearly, the world had favorites and you weren’t on that list.

WORD COUNT: 18.4k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This took so long and I def struggled writing it compared to pink whitney but i think it mostly has to do with how different they are! I’m not sure how long the next part will be but I definitely think it’ll be in the double digits cause I still have so many scenes planned out so hopefully it won’t take too long lol also i’m sure you guys will have stuff to say about jake by the end of this part cause he highkey sucks so i’m excited to see what you guys have to say lol but guys seriously thank you smmmm for all the love i hope this doesn’t disappoint and I would love to hear feedback!! thank you thank you everyone 🫶

THE FRAT DIARIES MASTERLIST

GLOSSARY

You couldn’t help but label anyone who told you to rush as absolute monsters, and in this case, it's your own mother and older sisters donning the monstrous roles. The three of them were all former sorority sisters, passing down the torch of tradition to you as the youngest. Initially, you were all in and ready to dive into the frenzy, but soon enough, the harsh reality hit you like a ton of bricks. Going through recruitment wasn't a walk in the park; it required nerves of steel. You found yourself having to socialize with over a hundred girls just during the past week, and man, it was driving you to the edge. Your sanity was slipping away, and you couldn't shake the feeling that this whole ordeal might be straight-up violating your very essence as a human being.

Lucky for you, today marked the last day of recruitment before bid day—the day you'd finally sprint towards your new home, liberating yourself from what seemed like a never-ending torment.

"Can you believe that there's a possibility that we might become sisters tomorrow?" Wonyoung, your lifelong best friend since diapers, now your roommate and potential sorority sister, couldn't contain her emotions at the thought. Despite your mixed feelings about the whole process, you were grateful to have your partner in crime by your side through it all. The possibility of ending up in the same house together overly excited you.

"I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we're on the same brainwave when we submit our rankings." Alpha Epsilon Sigma was the only house in your schedules that the two of you had in common. It would be the sole path that would unite you under the same letters.

"I mean, you're practically at the top of AES' wishlist with your legacy status and connections through your sisters. I'm just hoping they like me as much as I like them," Wonyoung's face twisted with a mix of anticipation and apprehension, aware of the intricate politics surrounding her position.

To a certain extent, she had a point. However, your family made sure to stress to you the importance of choosing based on your own desires, rather than succumbing to their influence. "Don't stress too much. And as cliché as it sounds, I promise we’ll end up where we’re meant to be." Your words seemed to offer a glimmer of reassurance, soothing her worries.

"Thanks, girl." She pulled you in for a tight hug before bouncing off her seat. "Well, my first party's about to start, and I don’t want to be late so I’m gonna head out right now. Good luck with your last two houses today, and I'll catch you back at the dorms!" With a wave, your roommate dashed off, leaving you with your thoughts.

The next day arrived, and as you opened your envelope, there was no surprise when you saw a bid from Alpha Epsilon Sigma staring back at you. Choosing had proven to be more difficult than expected, given your initial bias going into recruitment, but you were pleasantly surprised by the outcome. However, it was clear that your heart had already made its decision. And it seemed that Wonyoung knew it too, judging by the ecstatic shrieks emanating from beside you.

"I got AES! We’re sisters!" She practically tackled you with joy, and both of you jumped around in sheer excitement over your matching outcomes.

"See? I told you not to worry." It was a challenge to contain your excitement as you joined the other girls who had received bids from your sorority, eagerly making your way towards the house. The realization that this would be your home for the next four years was simply unbelievable.

Greek Row was bustling with energy, each house boasting its own unique theme. Yet, your eyes were drawn to one in particular. The house you had visited throughout the past week seemed transformed, barely recognizable amidst the sea of red and pink enveloping its pristine white exterior. Massive heart-shaped balloons floated in the air as a gigantic banner cleverly proclaimed, "All You Need AES Love," took center stage. You could also spot your sorority’s letters standing big and proud decorated with pink and red hearts all over. Members of the previous classes dotted the lawn, each holding custom-made heart signs to warmly welcome the new members. Among the crowd, it was easy to spot Winter, the girl who had rushed you all throughout the week. She bounced up and down, hoping to catch your attention, and you couldn't help but smile as you spotted your name signed beautifully on the sign that she was holding up. 

"Y/N!" She squealed with delight, enveloping you in a tight hug. "I just knew you'd be an AES girl the moment you walked through our door on that first day!"

Bid day was living up to your expectation as you were having an absolute blast. Every person you had met so far welcomed you with open arms, and the festivities showed no signs of slowing down. The music pumped, and the atmosphere was electric. It was clear that choosing AES was the best decision you could have made.

It was no surprise that as soon as it turned dark outside, everyone started ushering the new members to a frat house. Epsilon Nu offered to host the girls of AES and you were beyond excited to meet the frat. While you were no stranger to frat parties, you were new to EpNu as the only houses you’ve previously been to were Beta Tau Sigma and Nu Chi Tau due to your sisters. But the stories you’ve heard about EpNu made your hopes high about the boys. Rumor was that they knew how to have a good time and they were apparently all smoking hot. 

While their house couldn’t compare to the grand mansion your sorority claimed to be home, but you were surprised. It was honestly not as shabby as you thought it would be and while it could be the effects of both the alcohol in your system and the light show that was throwing you off, you had to say this was the nicest frat house you had been in. So far, you had nothing to complain about. 

As Waka Flocka's "No Hands" reverberated through the pulsating house, your body instinctively moved to the infectious rhythm, the alcohol adding to the blissful sway. Suddenly, a strong arm snaked around your shoulders, and the intoxicating scent of cologne filled your senses. Your body melded snugly with theirs before they leaned in, whispering into your ear.

"What's your name?" His voice jolted you, instantly recognizable and sobering. Slowly, you turned your head to face him.

Jake fucking Sim. 

Out of all the people in the world, of course, it was him. The realization seemed to mirror his own sentiment, evident from the annoyance etched across his face. Disgusted, you pushed him away, eager to distance yourself from his unwanted proximity.

"Oh, fuck no. Fuck off," you shot him a withering look, brushing at your shoulders as if trying to wipe away any remnants of his presence.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" His question only served to reinforce your belief in his sheer stupidity. You rolled your eyes, mustering up the patience to respond.

"Really, Jake? Why do you think you dumbass?" The realization hit you that Epsilon Nu was the frat Jake belonged to, instantly eroding any remaining respect you might have had for the house.

"No way you got a bid from AES," he exclaimed incredulously, disbelief radiating from his eyes. "Only hot and cool girls go AES, and obviously, you're neither."

"You've clearly become even dumber since high school 'cause it seems like you've forgotten that I'm a triple legacy," you emphasized, feeling your blood pressure rise with every passing second of the encounter.

"Whatever, get away from me," he retorted, his face still contorted with disdain, prompting a scoff to escape your lips.

"You're the one who came over to me, you asshole." With that, the two of you abruptly turned away from each other, stomping off in opposite directions, each eager to put distance between yourselves. The excitement and joy that had previously filled bid day were now replaced by a sour mood.

Leave it to Jake to ruin everything.

Jake Sim had always been a familiar presence in your life. Your parents had a long-standing friendship, even before you were born as both your mothers were AES sisters back in the day. As a child, it was no surprise that you developed a crush on him. Not only was he kind and fun to be around, but he also had an undeniable charm that made your cheeks flush with a rosy blush. So when Jake asked you to be his girlfriend with a candy ring on the first day of fourth grade, you eagerly accepted without hesitation.

The initial weeks of being Jake Sim's girlfriend were filled with happiness and excitement. Everyone was envious of you for landing one of the most popular guys in the grade above. Holding hands during recess and sharing your first kiss felt like pure bliss. But as they say, good things often come to an end. And for you, that end came crashing down when you witnessed a devastating sight that shattered your world.

There he was, on the swings, holding hands with an older girl from his grade. Your heart sank, and the weight of betrayal was almost unbearable. Overwhelmed with sadness and anger, you found yourself sobbing uncontrollably, seeking solace from your teacher, who ultimately had to call your mother to pick you up from school.

The following day, you arrived at school with tear-stained eyes and a fire burning within you. Jake Sim was going to face the consequences of his actions, and you were determined to make him pay. During recess, you spotted him on the monkey bars with that other girl, and something inside you snapped. Without thinking, you approached him from behind and pushed him off, the red haze of anger clouding your vision.

The sound of cries echoed through the air as Jake landed with a thud, clutching his arm in pain. It was an instant and unfortunate consequence of your impulsive act. However, instead of deterring him, the pain seemed to fuel his own retaliation. In a matter of seconds, he tackled you down, causing you to scrape your knees and get a bloody nose in the process. Parents were called, hospital visits were made, and the aftermath left a lasting scar on both of you.

Jake blamed you entirely for his inability to play soccer for two months, and your favorite dress was ruined, stained with blood and forever unwearable. Despite your parents' continued friendship and the physical proximity that remained between you and Jake, the damage inflicted upon your relationship was irreparable. Resentment grew, and any shared feeling between you two was one of animosity.So it would be no surprise that you spent the next couple of days before classes started holed in your dorm room not wanting to risk coming across him. 

The previous year had been a period of bliss for you, as Jake had finally graduated, leaving you to enjoy your senior year without the worry of him ruining anything good in your life. When you received acceptance into HybeU, your dream school and your parents’ alma mater, you knew Jake was already a student there. However, the opportunity was too precious to pass up, and you were determined to not let him deter you from pursuing your dreams once again. Besides, the campus was vast, and the chances of running into him seemed unlikely. Little did you know, fate had other plans in store for you.

As you walked into your first class on the opening day of the semester, you couldn't help but notice a familiar figure entering the room. It didn't take long for him to spot you either, evident from the loud groans that escaped his lips. He was accompanied by an attractive guy, presumably one of his fraternity brothers. As your eyes met, a mutual eye roll ensued, and Jake wasted no time in turning to his friend, whispering animatedly while gesturing in your direction. It was all too typical of him.

However, due to the large size of your Relationship 101: College Edition class, with approximately two hundred students, you assumed that there would be no reason for the two of you to interact. If you both sat on opposite sides of the room, it would almost feel as if he wasn't even a part of the class. However, once again, it seemed that you were about to be proven severely wrong.

"As mentioned in the syllabus, this class will be graded based on attendance and the end-of-semester group project. If you attend class and adhere to the project rubric, it will be an easy A. However, even a slight deviation from those requirements will result in a poor grade. The groups for the project will now be assigned, and there will be no changes allowed," Professor Choi explained, exuding both kindness and firmness. Her instructions were clear, and you were determined to follow them to the letter.

You listened attentively as she began calling out the names of your classmates, letting people know who they would be working with for the next couple of months. The atmosphere in the room was filled with anticipation and curiosity.

"Y/N L/N and Jake Sim," Professor Choi announced. Your head snapped up, momentarily thinking you had misheard her. Groans erupted from the other side of the room once again, accompanied by laughter from Jake's friend. The whole class turned around, perplexed by the commotion that was previously missing when the names of all the other pairs were called out.

"Is there an issue here?" Professor Choi's confusion mirrored the reaction of the class as she addressed Jake.

"Uhm, kind of... I mean, I'd just prefer not working with her," Jake's blunt response triggered snickers from the class, leaving you feeling embarrassed as you felt heat rise to your cheeks.

Professor Choi's face turned stern, clearly unamused with his attitude. "Well, as I said, you will be stuck with the partner I have assigned you. It would be better for both of you to resolve whatever is going on quickly, as it would be most beneficial for your grades."

Her response silenced Jake, and both of you nodded in agreement. With that, she resumed calling out names, but the classmates continued to whisper, clearly entertained by what had just unfolded.

"So, what's up with you and him?" The girl next to you nudged you, curiosity gleaming in her big, bright eyes. Her pink hair added a vibrant touch to her friendly appearance.

You debated whether to reveal the history between you and Jake to a stranger, but she seemed harmless, so you decided to share. "Well, Jake and I have known each other our whole lives. We had a falling out when we were young, and it has lasted until now," you explained, adopting a nonchalant tone to downplay the significance of the situation.

She seemed genuinely interested, urging you to continue. "Wait, what happened?"

Letting out a sigh, you continued, "We dated in elementary school, but I caught him cheating on me so I broke his arm."

Her unexpected burst of laughter caught you off guard. "You're still beefing over something that happened before neither of you even knew how to do algebra?" You frowned slightly, annoyed that she didn't seem to take it as seriously as you had hoped.

"Well, it's not just that!" you quickly defended yourself. "After I broke his arm for cheating on me, he made it his mission to ruin my life. All through middle school and high school, I felt like I was living in a nightmare cause of him. We genuinely hate each other, which is why it's so frustrating that we now have to be partners. It's a serious issue, and if I could I would even drop the class because I don't trust him with my grade, and I can't handle being around him for a whole semester."

The pink-haired girl quickly realized the severity of the situation as she listened to your impassioned rant. "Oh, wow, this is actually a big deal. Damn, Professor Choi really set you up."

"Yeah, I'm fucked," you sighed, feeling the weight of stress settling in. Dropping the class wasn't much of an option, considering it was a requirement for your major.

"Well, if it helps, I want you to know that I'm fully on your side. Fuck that Jake guy. I mean, who even cheats? Just cause you’re a kid doesn’t excuse you’re actions!" she declared passionately, her sincerity shining through. Her words brought a smile to your face.

"Oh, wait, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Lily!" she exclaimed, extending her hand.

"Thanks, Lily. I'm Y/N, and it's nice to meet you," you responded, reciprocating the handshake. "Maybe you'll be the one who helps me maintain my sanity throughout this class," you added, half-joking and half-serious. Nonetheless, you genuinely appreciated the connection and friendship forming between you.

Throughout the rest of the class, you and Lily chatted, getting to know each other better. You discovered that she was also involved in Greek Life, a member of Nu Mu Chi, and a first-year student like yourself. The shared similarities made the conversation flow effortlessly, and you even exchanged numbers and Instagrams. Engrossed in your newfound friendship, you almost forgot about your problem. Keyword: almost.

Almost a week had passed since the first day of classes, and it was already Thursday. Fortunately, you hadn't run into Jake throughout that time. You knew that sooner or later, you would have to interact with him, but you had no issue with pushing it until the very last moment. However, you couldn't deny that the project seemed like it would take a great deal of time. Professor Choi had revealed on Wednesday that it would entail each group turning in a project that was over one of the topics she had picked out and listed on a Google Doc. She gave students a lot of freedom, allowing the project to be presented through various means like movies, websites, podcasts, or anything else the group wanted. 

If you had been lucky enough to have a different partner, you would have been fully invested in this assignment, as you enjoyed showcasing your creativity through different outlets. Unfortunately, this class, due to circumstances and the partnership with Jake, was turning out to be your most challenging, even more so than physics. On the bright side, your other friends seemed to have a much better first week than you did, with nothing but good things to say about school so far.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Wonyoung asked, curling her hair at her desk, looking like a doll. In contrast, you were lounging on your lofted bed, wearing pajamas and glasses, engrossed in one of the Harry Potter movies while working on an assignment.

"Oh yeah, I'm good. I don't think I want to go to EpNu anytime soon," you replied, barely lifting your gaze from the movie.

She sighed. "You know, you shouldn't let Jake ruin everything for you. It was like this all throughout high school. Aren't you tired of it? Just come with me and the girls. We'll be with you the whole time, and you won't even remember that he was there." Her words were convincing, and EpNu's back-to-school party was known to be one of the best. However, your mind was set as you shook your head at her offer.

"I'm fine seriously. You girls go have fun. Text me if you need me to come get you anytime," you assured her, focusing your attention back on the assignment. 

Wonyoung nodded, giving up on trying to convince you any further. "You look amazing. Take your shot with that cute pledge you were telling me about!" You teased her, causing her to blush before she headed out.

It was late into the night, and you were watching the last Harry Potter movie of the franchise when you received a call from Wonyoung. It seemed like she had decided to take up on your offer.

However, when you answered the call, the voice on the other end wasn't the one you were expecting.

"Hey, is this Y/N?" The male voice was barely audible over the deafening music in the background. You immediately became alert upon hearing the unfamiliar voice.

"Yes, it is. Is Wonyoung okay?" You quickly asked, getting up to put on your sweatshirt and shoes, ready to go and help your friend.

"I'm Jungwon, and I'm with Wonyoung right now. She's had a lot to drink, and I think she needs to go home. She keeps murmuring your name, so I thought you would be my best bet." By now, you were already outside your dorm, hurrying to your car, worried about your best friend.

"Okay, I'm heading there right now. Jungwon, can you keep her company until I get there?" Wonyoung had always been bad with her alcohol, and you had hoped she would pace herself, but it seemed like she hadn't.

"Yeah, of course. I'll see if I can get her a glass of water to help her sober up," you could hear the concern in his voice through the music, and you were relieved that she wasn't alone.

You reached the house in record time, and from the outside, the party looked like absolute chaos, with a massive crowd inside. At the door, a tall boy stood manning the door, almost like a guard dog for the frat. You barely spared him a glance though, as you were focused on your mission, not knowing where to start inside the massive house. Your attempts to call Wonyoung went unanswered, indicating that her phone was likely dead.

As you weaved through the sweaty bodies, you finally spotted a familiar face. Winter was lounging on one of the couches with a group of sisters and unfamiliar faces.

"Winter!" You rushed over to her.

"Oh my god, you're here!" Winter, clearly having had a few drinks, was even more energetic than usual. She pulled you into a hug before turning to introduce you to everyone.

"Everyone, meet Y/N! She was my rush crush! I love her so much; she's like a little me!" Winter still hadn't let you go, and everyone greeted you. While you appreciated her enthusiasm in making you feel welcome, you were more focused on finding your friend than meeting new people.

"Hey, nice to meet you all," you greeted them briefly, lacking the energy they were exuding. "Has anyone seen Wonyoung? She's my best friend, and I'm here to pick her up. She's tall, pretty, and has long hair," you gestured with your hand, indicating her approximate height. "I think she was with Jungwon?" You hoped that providing this additional information might jog their memories, but they shook their heads.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I haven't seen her since she came up to the main level with Jungwon. Oh! Maybe Jake will know! Jake, come over here!" Winter called out, spotting a familiar figure. You wanted to object, but you decided to prioritize finding your friend over your issues with Jake.

As Winter enthusiastically waved at him, Jake noticed your presence and briefly squinted his eyes annoyed you were here before turning back to Winter. "What's up?"

"Y/N here is looking for her bestie Wonyoung, who was last seen with Jungwon. I was wondering if you knew where they might be?" Winter explained. 

You could tell he was retracing his memory as it took him a second before responding. "Oh, actually, I might know where they are." He didn't wait for you to follow, immediately turning and walking in a direction. You quickened your pace to keep up with his longer strides.

He headed towards what you remembered as the kitchen, and you were correct, seeing a group of people surrounding a box of pizza and various alcohol stashes. However, Jake continued walking past them, toward a door located at the back. Without hesitation, you followed him, entering what seemed like a secondary kitchen. The room contained drink machines, pantry shelves and an industrial sized refrigerator that made you wonder what it held, but the room itself was dark and empty. Both you and Jake appeared surprised by this unexpected outcome. They weren't here.

"I thought they'd be here," Jake softly murmured, turning to you. Upon closer observation, you noticed that he, too, seemed slightly intoxicated and possibly high, with bloodshot eyes.

Letting out a frustrated huff, you expressed your displeasure at the wasted time. "Well, clearly they aren't. Can you think of anywhere else they might be?"

He took a moment to ponder, and with your patience wearing thin, you were about to walk out when you noticed a flicker in his eyes. Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist and swiftly led you back to the main room. Confusion washed over you, as physical interactions with Jake were rare. Nevertheless, you followed his lead as he pulled you up the stairs, realizing that he was likely taking you to Jungwon's room. It dawned on you that checking there should have been your first instinct.

The room you arrived at was down a corridor, and without bothering to knock, Jake barged in.

His intuition had been correct, as you spotted two figures inside. One was hunched over a trashcan, vomiting, while the other held their hair back.

"Oh, fuck, Wonyoung!" You quickly rushed to your friend's side, ready to help her in her vulnerable state.

"Oh, thank god you're here," Jungwon let out a sigh of relief. It dawned on you that this was the first time you were meeting the boy your friend had been eyeing since they met at the party on bid day.

"Yeah, sorry it took so long. We couldn't find you guys, but thanks for being here with her," you quickly thanked him.

Wonyoung seemed to have stopped throwing up and quieted down. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and turned to you, slurring your name. "Y/N?"

"Yeah, Won, I'm here. Let's get you home," you said, attempting to help her up. However, her lanky body proved difficult to move.

You had momentarily forgotten about Jake, but you were quickly reminded of his presence as he reached out to assist you and Jungwon in lifting your friend.

"Here, let us handle her. You should probably make sure she has everything," he suggested. Following his advice, you spotted her phone on the side of what appeared to be Jungwon's desk. Your assumption was correct; it was out of battery.

The boys carefully guided Wonyoung down the stairs, and you could hear her softly murmuring nonsensically. You were certain your friend would be embarrassed by this situation when she woke up the next morning, but that was a problem for later.

As the four of you reached your car, you opened the back seat while Jungwon took charge of ensuring Wonyoung got in safely and buckled up.

You turned to Jake and, though reluctant, couldn't help but admit that you would have never found her without his help. "Thanks, Jake."

Jake seemed unaccustomed to hearing your gratitude and brushed it off quickly. "It's fine. Anyone would have done the same," he responded, his tone almost shy. Before you could make any further comments, the car door slammed shut.

"Hey, can you have her text me in the morning so I know she's okay?" Jungwon's concern was still evident, and you mentally noted your approval of the boy your friend seemed interested in. He seemed to be one of the good ones.

"Yes, of course. Seriously, Jungwon, thanks so much for taking care of her. It was nice to meet you," you said before getting into the car.

"Nice to meet you too, Y/N. Drive safe and good night!" Jungwon bid farewell as you drove off. Through the rearview window, you thought you spotted Jake giving you a small wave, but you decided to brush it off as your eyes deceiving you. 

Your assumptions proved correct as the next morning, while you were in the midst of getting ready for class, your roommate woke up. To your surprise, she remembered much more than you had anticipated, and she was clearly horrified by her actions.

"What if he never talks to me ever again?" Wonyoung groaned, her head buried underneath her pillow. However, you highly doubted that outcome, considering how genuinely worried and caring Jungwon had been last night. It was clear that he was just as smitten with her as she was with him.

"Stop being stupid. Just text him, and it'll be fine," you assured her, relaying Jungwon's request from the previous night. With a spritz of perfume, you finally felt ready to head to class. You assumed your friend, who was still sulking in bed, planned on skipping. However, you had no choice but to attend, as your Relationship 101 class had mandatory attendance.

You liked to arrive early to class, so it was a surprise to see a figure sitting in the seat you usually occupied when you walked in. Jake, who was notorious for being late or arriving just on time, being here so early was highly unusual. He wore a cozy-looking hoodie and appeared tired, likely due to the party. Feeling skeptical, you cautiously approached your usual desk, mindful of Jake's presence.

As if sensing your arrival, Jake turned his head towards you the moment you reached your desk. He seemed to be nursing a mild hangover, squinting slightly at the change in lighting.

"Good morning, Y/N," he greeted you. It took you a moment to process his words, considering it had been a while since he had greeted you, let alone said anything that wasn't an insult.

Not letting your guard down, you replied with a curt greeting before settling into the seat beside him. Just as you were about to ask him why he was in your seat, he beat you to it.

"I know you're probably wondering why I'm in your seat, but I thought about it yesterday after you left and figured it would actually help us get a good grade in this class if we worked together, like Professor Choi mentioned. Since it's a required course for my major and it doesn't seem like we can convince her to assign us, different partners, we'll have to suck it up," he explains, his voice lacking its usual cockiness and sounding surprisingly sincere. This newfound maturity in Jake catches you off guard.

"Same here. It's required for my major too," you respond, realizing that he might be in the same department as you. What would be the chances? "And yeah, I expected us to have this conversation eventually, but I didn't think it would be today, especially since it's only the end of the first week of classes. Honestly, I didn’t even think you’d care about this that much."

"Well, contrary to what you might believe, I actually take my grades seriously, and I'd rather start now and aim for a good grade than procrastinate and fail," he retorts, sounding annoyed by your comment. "Besides, the more work we finish quickly, the less time we'll have to spend with each other."

His words made sense, and you couldn’t really argue against them. "Yeah... I guess you're right. I can't afford to fail this class either. But if we keep getting on each other's nerves and fighting like we usually do, I don't see how we'll get anything done."

"Are you really so prideful that you can't put your ego aside for an hour to work with me? It's literally about your grade," Jake's tone was starting to irritate you as he made it seem like you were the sole instigator in your rocky relationship.

"Fuck you, Jake. Clearly, I'm not the only one with ego issues since you've willingly participated in our fights as well," you retorted, rolling your eyes. For a moment, the two of you sat in silence, neither willing to speak, fearing that it would escalate the situation further.

Finally, you sighed and gave in, realizing that Jake had no intention of breaking the silence. "How about this? We dedicate a few hours each week to working on this project and during that time, we promise to genuinely try to work together—for the sake of our grade. Outside of those hours, we can go back to how we usually are and not interact at all."

For the first time in a long while, Jake seemed to have no comeback for your suggestion. It even actually appeared to look as if he was considering it as he slowly nodded his head. "Okay, fine. I guess I can do that."

“Glad we could come to an agreement, now can you go back to your seat? Our agreement doesn’t extend over to us being seatmates.” 

The two of you had agreed to meet at the library the following Wednesday, and as you expected, Jake was running late. It was already thirty minutes past 7, and you were seething with anger. As you started packing up your belongings, preparing to leave, you heard heavy footsteps approaching from behind.

"Hey," Jake said nonchalantly as he sat down in front of you. His casual attitude made your eye twitch. Didn't he realize that you had been waiting for him for half an hour?

"Hey? That's all you've got to say? You're 30 minutes late!" Frustration surged within you, pushing you closer to your boiling point.

He simply shrugged. "Sorry, I guess." His lackadaisical response caused you to stand up from your seat in anger.

"You do realize that I have other things to do, right? You literally just wasted my time! You're so fucking selfish. You could've at least texted me. Whatever, I can't do this with you," you fumed, turning around to leave the desk.

But before you could make your escape, you felt a hand grabbing your wrist, preventing you from leaving. 

"Wait, Y/N, stop. Practice ran late, and I came straight here without checking my phone. Seriously, I'm sorry," he explained, his hand still wrapped around your wrist.

Sighing, you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to calm down your anger before responding.  You were only letting it slide as he seemed genuine. "Fine, just please don't let it happen again, or at least send me a text. I'll let it slide this once because I don't want to start our sessions on a bad note."

Jake nodded, and you put down your bag, taking a seat again.

"So, have you thought about what you want to do? I checked the topic list, and there are a couple that I think we could consider. The hookup culture topic seems the most fun and interesting though, especially because there's a section on Greek Life. Since we're both involved, I was thinking that we could maybe provide a more nuanced perspective," Jake suggested. It didn't surprise you that he was interested in that particular topic, given his reputation as a serial playboy. He probably had a PhD in hookup culture with the number of girls he had been involved with. However, the subset of Greek Life did intrigue you too, as it would allow you to draw from personal experience.

"I haven't gone through the list yet, but that does sound interesting," you quickly pulled up the document and realized that this topic would probably the most entertaining to research. 

"Yeah, I'm fine with us choosing that. Maybe we can do a podcast, as it would be an easy way to voice our opinions and share examples from our personal lives." Jake nodded, liking your suggestion. He was quite a talker so he had no problems with having to record a couple of episodes.

"Sounds good to me. We can start researching now and create a solid outline to determine how many episodes we'll need to cover everything thoroughly. The campus radio station has equipment that students can borrow, so we don't have to worry about that," Jake suggested.

Both of you immediately began your research by accessing the library database and looking up relevant articles and books on the chosen topic.

"What's your major? You mentioned earlier that this class is a requirement for you, and it is for me too. I was curious," you decide to finally ask the question that had been on your mind since last Friday. 

"I'm majoring in Human Development and Family Sciences and I’m in pre-nursing. Ultimately, I want to become a nurse, specializing in pediatrics. So I thought this major would be a good fit," Jake replied. His choice of major was unexpected, considering you had assumed he would be more of a business bro like the majority of fraternity members tended to be.

"Damn, that's not at all what I was expecting. I'm actually in the same major, although I'm more inclined towards becoming a family therapist," you shared. It was a surprise to both of you that you were pursuing the same field of study. Perhaps you and Jake had more in common than either of you had initially thought.

"What classes are you taking right now?" Jake continued the conversation, clearly invested.

"Other than this one, I'm taking Human Geography, English Literature, and Intro to Physics," you replied, noticing Jake's interest piquing at the mention of the last class.

"You're taking physics? How are you liking it? I took that last year and I'm currently in the seminar class for it. It's definitely one of my favorite classes," Jake shared, surprising you with his nonchalant tone and genuine enthusiasm.

"You like physics? Why?" you asked, genuinely curious and somewhat taken aback. His passion for the subject seemed almost foreign to you.

"I don’t know, It's just something I enjoy. I mean I've always found it fascinating. I liked it even in high school," Jake explained, his enthusiasm evident. It became clear that he had a genuine love for physics, and you couldn't help but feel a tinge of envy, considering your struggles with the subject.

"Wanna do my homework for me then? I think I'm going to fail," you joked, expecting a dismissive response. To your surprise though, Jake seemed to be genuinely considering your offer.

"I mean, yeah, I could probably help you. Who's your professor? I had Professor Song last year," Jake offered, surprising you once again. You had been seeking help from anyone willing, but finding someone competent enough to assist you and go over the subject was proving to be a challenge, as it seemed physics was universally disliked.

"I have Professor Song too, but you're joking, right?" You were desperate enough to consider getting help from Jake, but it seemed almost too good to be true.

"No, I'm serious, I promise. I think I ended that class with an A last year," Jake assured you, displaying a side of himself that contradicted any preconceived notions you had about him.

"Okay, yeah, that would actually be so much help. Thanks," you expressed your gratitude, and with a nod from Jake, the two of you resumed working on the project.

What was happening? Within just an hour, you not only had a civil conversation with Jake, but he had even offered to help you with your schoolwork. However, this didn't mean that the two of you would suddenly become best friends. After all, a decade-long feud couldn't be resolved with a single conversation.

Every week since that Wednesday, you and Jake had agreed to meet up once a week to work on the project and for him to provide you with tutoring. You had to admit that this schedule was working quite well, although it still presented challenges. You and Jake would bicker more often than not, and his talent for getting on your nerves hadn't disappeared. However, your relationship with him was nowhere near as tumultuous as it had been for most of your life. In fact, you had even decided to attend the mixer that your sorority was organizing with EpNu tonight.

"And he even brought me coffee to my first class today! He's perfect," Wonyoung gushed, practically melting as she recounted what Jungwon had done for her. Ever since the party at EpNu, Wonyoung's relationship with Jungwon had been progressing, as she had even met his parents a couple of days ago and it seemed like they were on the verge of making it official. It warmed your heart to see her so happy.

"That's adorable! I can't believe you found such a great guy, especially considering he's a frat boy," Yujin, your sorority sister and next-door neighbor, commented while searching for her misplaced vape that she always seemed to be losing.

"It's behind the futon, Yujin," you helped her out before turning back to Wonyoung. "Yeah, seriously, Won, I'm glad he's treating you well. And if he ever does anything wrong, he probably knows that I'll give him a good beating or something, but it's still sweet."

"Yeah, I can't wait to see him tonight. Honestly, I'm just happy that you've overcome your fear of EpNu and decided to join us. I mean, we've been to mixers with other houses before, but trust me, they don't compare to EpNu. There's just something different about them," Wonyoung expressed her excitement. 

An '80s Aspen-themed mixer between AES and EpNu was happening tonight, and even though you had sworn to never attend any event involving Jake's fraternity, your improved relationship with him during the past month working on the project made you reconsider. Outside of your study sessions, you still had to restrain yourself from getting into fights with him, but your tolerance for him seemed to have made an improvement, even if it was minuscule. Besides, the theme sounded too fun to pass up. 

"Wonyoung, you're just biased because of your lover boy. But I do have to admit, they really do go all out. No wonder they're top tier here. And let's not forget about all the hot boys. I mean, Y/N, remember when you almost fainted a couple of weeks ago when you saw Heeseung at Starbucks? I swear she was drooling like a dog in heat," Yujin chimed in, playfully teasing you. You rolled your eyes at her remark, but she had a point so you let it slide as you accepted the shooter she handed your way. There was no denying that you really did have a hard time breathing for awhile after seeing EpNu’s president while getting your coffee. 

One of the boys from the frat offered to pick you guys up from the dorms, so you and the girls headed downstairs in your neon ski outfits, making a quick stop to pick up another one of your sisters, Yuna, who lived on the floor below.

Beomgyu, as expected from EpNu, was incredibly attractive, and he drove a Tesla. So you had no problem accepting the passenger seat.

"Hey, I don't think we've met yet. I'm Beomgyu," the boy turned to you with a smile.

He was so cute that you almost forgot to respond, but you managed to introduce yourself. "Hey Beomgyu, nice to meet you, and thanks for picking us up. I'm Y/N." He shook your hand and flashed another smile before heading towards the house.

Your phone buzzed, and when you checked it, Wonyoung had sent you a text. "Seems like you have a good chance of getting lucky tonight ;) He's cute, and you're into older guys, so it sounds like a perfect match." 

You rolled your eyes in amusement. You definitely weren’t opposed to what she was suggesting. 

The house was noticeably different from your last visit, as it seemed less chaotic. The interior was adorned with fake snow and blue decorations, and everyone was dressed according to the theme. You couldn't help but be impressed by the level of dedication EpNu had shown, surpassing any other fraternity on campus.

Wonyoung quickly separated from the group bidding everyone a goodbye, before running off eager to find Jungwon. As she ran away, Beomgyu turned to you before offering you a drink. You, of course, accepted.  

"You've probably been to the kitchen before, but let me share a secret with you," Beomgyu said, guiding you past the kitchen towards a familiar door at the back. "You probably haven’t been here before, but this is where we usually stash the good stuff that we don't want to share with everyone else."

You remembered the back room where you and Jake had searched for Wonyoung and Jungwon, and like last time, it was empty. "Actually, Jake showed me this room last time I was here, but he never mentioned this was where you boys stored all the good stuff."

"Wait, why were you guys back here then if not for the drinks?" Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows.

"We were looking for Wonyoung and Jungwon," you explained.

"Oh, okay," he replied, not entirely convinced but choosing to brush it off. Beomgyu opened the industrial-sized fridge, revealing it to be fully stocked with drinks.

Your eyes lit up with excitement, prompting Beomgyu to laugh. "Go ahead, take your pick." You didn't need any further encouragement as you reached for a peach High Noon, thrilled to see your favorite (and very overpriced) drink available.

"Thanks, this is awesome! High Noons are my favorite, but I rarely go out and buy them cause I just can't justify spending $10 on a four-pack," you remarked. Beomgyu laughed at your reasoning while also grabbing the same drink before leading you back out.

It seemed like your entire sorority had decided to attend the mixer, as you noticed sisters constantly arriving through the front door. While mingling with others in the main room, you met numerous new people. 

The tall boy you had seen at the door on your previous visit turned out to be a pledge named Niki, who greeted you warmly with a hug. You could tell he was already plastered. You were also introduced to Sunghoon, a brother you had actually known of as his striking looks had garnered much talk amongst your sisters. However, you decided to keep your distance from him after simple introductions due to the rumors of his alleged knack for getting people pregnant (Winter’s friend?). Getting pregnant in college was definitely not on your bucket list so it was better to be safe than sorry. And, of course, you were officially introduced to the EpNu president, who once again left you feeling a bit lightheaded with how hot he was. Fortunately, the alcohol in your system had loosened your nerves enough for you to at least exchange names. 

Throughout the night, you and Beomgyu got significantly closer since he seemed to stick by your side, occasionally whispering things that made you laugh while wrapping his arms around your waist. Perhaps Wonyoung was right — it seemed like you had a decent chance with the older boy.

While you were enjoying yourself, from the other side of the room Jake was in a sour mood as he was sporting a frown. He had a rough time at practice and Jay had been talking his ear off all night. Jake loved his brother but wished more than anything that he would go bother Ningning instead. He wasn't in the mood to entertain Jay's chatter. As his eyes scanned the room, Jake's attention was quickly drawn to you and Beomgyu, who appeared to be getting quite close. He didn't even know that you knew each other, but for some reason, the sight bothered him deepening his frown. When he saw Beomgyu's lips meet yours, he found himself speed-walking in your direction before he could even stop himself.

"Hey, Y/N, can I talk to you about something?" Jake's familiar voice interrupted, causing you and Beomgyu to separate. You shot Jake a glare, annoyed that he was once again ruining something for you. However, his face was sporting an unfamiliar serious expression that caught your attention.

"Uh, yeah, okay. I'll come find you after, Beomgyu," you said, turning to the boy you had just been kissing before following Jake. He led you towards the hidden room at the back of the kitchen.

As expected, the room was empty, and Jake faced you with a serious look in his eyes. "You know Beomgyu has chlamydia, right?"

Those words made your jaw drop, and your eyes widened as any previous effects from the alcohol vanished. "What?" you practically screamed, struggling to comprehend what he had just said.

"Uh, yeah, I probably have no place telling you that, but I thought you should know though, especially since it seemed to be getting pretty heated between you two," Jake said, avoiding eye contact as guilt washed over him. Beomgyu didn't actually have chlamydia and he was silently praying that his friend would never find out about what he told you. He knew he was an asshole for lying about something like this but he was convinced that his reasons justified his actions. 

Jake and Beomgyu were like two peas in a pod, and Jake knew him better than anyone. They were essentially the same person, boasting the highest body count among their brothers. Jake was well aware of how Beomgyu treated girls, and despite his lingering resentment towards you, he felt it would be cruel to let you become just another conquest for Beomgyu.

You were still in shock for a few seconds, as all thoughts of Beomgyu instantly vanished from your mind. Would he have continued with you and never mentioned his condition if Jake hadn't interrupted? The disdain you had for Jake earlier was now replaced with a deep sense of gratitude towards your childhood enemy. 

It took you a moment to find your voice. "Jake..." Your words trailed off, as you were still shaken by the realization of what could have happened that night. In that moment, you knew there was only one appropriate response.

A hug from you was the last thing Jake expected, and he stood frozen, unsure of how to react. The last time you had hugged him was back in fourth grade when you were dating, and his body seemed to have forgotten how to respond to physical touch from you. It felt like an eternity before you finally pulled away.

“Thanks, Jake seriously, I know we’ve never had a good relationship but this semester is slowly showing me that maybe I’ve judged you too harshly,” and hearing these words from you left Jake blushing the rest of the night. 

However, this wouldn’t last as Monday rolled around and the second he stepped into class, he was met with the sight of your furious self storming towards him, with Beomgyu by your side. Oh God, he was fucked.

You spent the rest of Friday night sticking close to your friends, hoping to avoid Beomgyu for the remainder of the evening. When Saturday came around, you found yourself recounting the events of the previous night to Winter (who you were now pretty sure was going to be your big), when she took you out on a lunch date. As you shared the story, Winter's eyes widened with surprise.

"Wait, hold on. What?" Winter's eyes bulged as she struggled to comprehend what you were telling her. Beomgyu was a good friend of hers and they ran in similar circles, so she was utterly perplexed by what she was hearing.

"Yeah, I know, isn’t it so fucked up? I mean, he must have known that we were likely going to hook up, or at least that I was down. The fact that he didn't mention anything and continued to initiate things is insane to me. I may have hated Jake for most of my life, but at least he's not the kind of jerk who would let me sleep with someone who has an STD." You were still heated about the situation and continued to rant, unaware that Winter's surprise stemmed from something else.

"Y/N, hold on. I don't think Beomgyu has chlamydia." Your words came to a halt in the middle of your sentence. What?

"He's a really close friend of mine, and if any of us knew he had something as significant as an STD, it would have spread among our group. Sure, he's a whore, but he's also careful and would never engage in a sex without disclosing that information, he’s not that much of an asshole. I'm really confused now." The confusion on your face mirrored Winter's words.

"Was Jake just mistaken, then? Or maybe Beomgyu only told Jake because it's not something you'd be eager to share with everyone," you pondered, but Winter shook her head, dismissing both possibilities.

"Let me call Beomgyu right now to confirm because I truly don't think this is true." You agreed, realizing that the only way to clarify the situation was to speak directly with Beomgyu.

As soon as Winter posed the question to Beomgyu, you could almost sense the offense in his voice as he vehemently denied it.

"Wait, wait, wait. Jake told you this? Is that why he pulled you aside last night, and then you avoided me like the plague?" The three of you were now embarked on a mission to uncover what might have prompted Jake to share this information, considering Beomgyu was one of his close friends.

"Maybe he just didn't want you two to be together because he hates Y/N and doesn't want his friend involved with her?" By now, the phone call transitioned to a Facetime video, and you could see Beomgyu shaking his head in frustration.

"Then why the fuck would he make up something about me and not about her? I mean, I didn't even know who she was until last night, hell, I didn’t even know they knew each other until Y/N told me that Jake had already shown her the private kitchen!" Beomgyu was practically seething at this point, but Winter turned her attention to you.

"Jake showed you the backroom kitchen?" Winter's question (that she practically screamed out) caught you off guard, as you struggled to see its relevance to the situation. "That's where the EpNu boys take girls to hook up!" Ah, now it all made sense.

"Wait, what?" Confusion overwhelmed you. "I swear, I didn't do anything with him! I would never! Wait, then why did you take me back there?" Beomgyu's face flushed red as your question was now directed towards him.

"Well, uh, I mean, I didn't actually take you there to, like, do anything with you. It was just to give you a drink and maybe plant a seed in your head so that we'd go back for more drinks and, you know, maybe something would happen then?" Winter rolled her eyes at her friend's explanation. It was all too typical of Beomgyu's behavior, but that was the least of everyone’s problems right now. 

"Okay, whatever, that's beside the point. Why did Jake take you there then?" Winter redirected the conversation, refocusing everyone's attention on the problem at hand.

"To find Wonyoung and Jungwon! Oh my god, is that why you looked like you didn’t believe me when I told you that yesterday?" Beomgyu nodded while Winter let out a sigh.

"Y/N, do you think there's any possibility that Jake likes you? Maybe he got jealous seeing you with Beomgyu and told you this lie in the hopes that you would stay away?" Beomgyu gasped dramatically as if Winter had just uncovered the truth. 

Your reaction, however, was quite different, as you shrieked in disbelief. "No way!" The idea that Jake had orchestrated this entire situation out of jealousy seemed far-fetched to you. There was absolutely no way.

Little did you know though, Winter had actually cracked the code. Jake's actions were indeed driven by jealousy, even though he himself was unaware of the true motives behind his behavior.

And now, here he was, facing the consequences of his actions. You and Beomgyu had (quite literally) dragged him into an empty classroom next door, and he felt like a child being caught in trouble by his parents.

"Explain," Beomgyu's stern voice was all Jake needed to hear to understand the gravity of the situation.

"I'm sorry!" Jake's inability to handle pressure became evident once again, as a single glare from you made him crumble. "I just saw you two together and thought it would be a terrible match. I mean, seriously, bro, out of all people, her?" He realized he was only digging himself deeper by insulting you.

"I mean, come on! She's like the absolute worst! The actual devil incarnate, and I can't have my best mate being involved with her!" Jake's attempts at persuasion fell flat, as neither you nor Beomgyu were buying any of his bullshit.

"Then why did you make up a lie about me instead of her?" Beomgyu's frustration reached its peak, leaving Jake spluttering, unable to come up with a satisfactory answer.

It became clear that both you and Beomgyu were done with Jake. Beomgyu finally put an end to his blubbering. "Dude, just stop. If you were interested in her, you should have just told me. I would have respected the bro code and backed off. But what you did was beyond fucked up, man. I don't even know if I want to see you around anymore, at least not for a while. Just stay away and try not to fuck things up even more. This could have gone so bad for me." With that, Beomgyu stormed off, not sparing Jake a single glance.

Meanwhile, you remained behind, still looking at Jake, but with a different expression in your eyes. It was disappointment that he saw, and it made Jake feel sick to his core. "I've always known you were a shit person ever since you cheated on me as a kid, but this time you've crossed the line. Don't bother trying to talk to me ever again." With those words, you followed after Beomgyu, leaving Jake to sit alone, grappling with the repercussions of his actions.

You weren't joking about not wanting to see him, as Jake waited for hours at your usual spot in the library, hoping against hope that you would show up. But there was no sign of you. The drive back to his fraternity house was filled with silence, as regret coursed through him. Jake couldn't wrap his head around his own actions. The flimsy excuse he had concocted while lying to you now seemed utterly nonsensical, and shame engulfed him.

The dynamics within EpNu were strained as well. Everyone was well aware of the situation and how Jake had betrayed one of his closest friends and brothers. He could sense the judgment radiating from the pledges, which only amplified his feelings of patheticness. 

"It's going to take some time, but I know Beomgyu's not cruel enough to ice you out forever. Personally, I would have probably beaten the shit out of you, but I guess Beomgyu's a much better person than I am," Jay nonchalantly remarked while engrossed in playing Animal Crossing on his Switch. 

Sunghoon kicked the chair that Jay was occupying, rolling his eyes at his friend's lack of sincerity. "You're not helping him. Look, you're only making him more depressed," Sunghoon nudged the back of Jay's chair once again, gesturing toward Jake's huddled figure underneath his comforter. "Jake, dude, you just have to rip the bandaid off and apologize. Sincerely."

Sunghoon's words struck a chord with Jake. He hadn't properly apologized yet, as neither you nor Beomgyu had given him the opportunity to do so. But he had to keep trying.

The lack of response from Jake's bundled-up figure made Sunghoon sigh. He had been moping like this for hours, and Sunghoon was growing tired of it. Jay, though seemingly less concerned, also still cared about his best friend.

Out of nowhere, Jake felt his emotional support comforter being yanked away from his body, and then he was forcefully dragged off his bed. While his bed wasn't that high, the impact of hitting the floor still hurt quite a bit.

"What the fuck!" he yelled at the instigator. However, Sunghoon remained unfazed and continued in his attempts to lift Jake, who showed no intention of getting up from the floor.

"Jesus, why are you so heavy? You're not even that tall," Sunghoon remarked, making Jake whip his head around in annoyance at the taller boy’s jab.

"Get off of me, dude. Let me be. I deserve to be on the floor like the trash I am. Pure basura," Jake moped, continuing to resist Sunghoon's efforts, which showed no signs of relenting.

Suddenly, another pair of arms joined in, as Jay decided to step in and help Sunghoon. The sound of bodies hitting the floor and yells filled the hallway as the three of them engaged in a wrestling match. Unfortunately for Jake, he was fighting a losing battle against two taller and gym-obsessed individuals. After a brief struggle, they easily dragged him towards a specific door.

"Leave me alone! Go bother your girlfriends or something! Seriously, stop!" Jake's pleas fell on deaf ears as Jay held him down and covered his mouth, while Sunghoon knocked on the door with urgency.

They had intentionally dragged him all the way to the other side of the house, where Beomgyu and Taehyun's room was located.

The moment the door swung open and Beomgyu and Taehyun saw the scene before them, it was immediately slammed shut. Undeterred, Sunghoon continued knocking, persistently and loudly.

"Go away!" someone shouted from the other side of the door, but Sunghoon refused to give up, intensifying his knocking.

"We're going to stay here until one of you opens the door!" Jay yelled back, still holding Jake down, who was desperately trying to squirm free.

Once again, the door was yanked open, but this time it wasn't instantly shut. "What do you want?" Taehyun's intimidating glare sent shivers down Jake's spine. In contrast to his cute appearance, Taehyun was definitely someone Jake didn’t want to mess with.

“He’s got something to say to your friend,” and with this, Sunghoon barged into their room pushing Taehyun aside which allowed for Jay to push Jake inside as he also followed suit and shut the door behind him. 

Whilst the room itself wasn’t that small when it housed two people, with five grown boys in it though, it was becoming uncomfortable, especially with the stare Taehyun was continuing to give him. Beomgyu seemed to be looking anywhere but at him, obviously still pissed, and Sunghoon elbowed Jake in an attempt to get him to start talking.

“Ahem well, uh uhm so uh well,” Jake’s stuttering instantly got Jay groaning in what seemed to be a mixture of disappointment and embarrassment at his friend’s lack of poise.

“Jesus Christ, just get out,” this was the first time they had heard Beomgyu’s voice and he was clearly annoyed that Jake had gone against his wishes of wanting to be left alone.

This however seemed to get Jake to finally compose his thoughts and actually speak. “Wait, wait, wait. Just hear me out.” 

Silence filled the room for a couple of seconds before Beomgyu finally let out a sigh signaling for Jake to continue. 

"Okay, to start off, Beomgyu, I want to apologize sincerely. I understand that this might not mean much to you at the moment, and I don't expect you to forgive me right away, if ever. But I believe this is the least you deserve. I truly am sorry. You're one of my close friends, and I have no excuse for my actions. I keep replaying that night in my mind, searching for a reasonable explanation, but I can't find one. You were right, Beomgyu. If this had become public knowledge, it could have had serious consequences for you, and I deeply regret putting you in that situation." Jake maintained eye contact with Beomgyu, his voice reflecting his sincerity.

"I want you to understand that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, even if it means giving you the space and time you need. You should know that you mean a lot to me, and I appreciate you hearing me out today." The room fell silent as everyone's gaze turned to Beomgyu, waiting for his response.

Time seemed to stretch endlessly for Jake until Beomgyu finally spoke. "You're right. I can't forgive you right away because what you did was seriously fucked up. However, I appreciate your apology. It shows that you regret your actions and that our friendship still matters to you."

Though he hadn't completely reconciled with his friend, Jake felt a sense of victory. Prior to today, he hadn't even been able to approach Beomgyu, let alone have a conversation with him. He would take whatever progress he could get. He was genuinely committed to working hard to restore the trust between them.

With a nod, he stood up and made his way towards the door, his two friends following closely behind. However, just as he was about to leave, he heard his name being called.

"If you genuinely can't understand why you did what you did, then you're even more oblivious than I gave you credit for. Think about what I told you the last time we spoke; it might provide some clarity." Jake was well aware of what Beomgyu was alluding to, but he struggled to come to terms with the harsh reality.

Had he really betrayed his friend for a girl? Even worse, not just any girl, but you?

This newfound revelation continued to haunt Jake in the following weeks. It didn’t help that, reaching out to you proved to be a much more challenging task compared to Beomgyu. Unlike Beomgyu, who lived with him, you were not in close proximity. Since the last time he saw you, you had blocked him on all platforms, and whenever he attempted to approach you, you (along with your friends) never gave him the slightest chance to speak. As time passed, he found himself gradually losing his sanity and sleep over you. He couldn’t understand how he could go from hating you all his life to suddenly developing a crush on you within a couple months. Like there was no explanation behind it and that was putting him in misery.  

"Ugh, that creep showed up again, but I told him to fuck off," Lily remarked with a hint of annoyance as you got to your usual seat. Ever since that first day, you had become close with Lily, and after confiding in her about what had happened, she became fiercely protective of you. She acted like a guard dog, ready to bite at any moment, scaring Jake away whenever he tried to approach you in class.

You rolled your eyes in response to Jake's persistence. "I thought he would have given up by now."

Before Lily could reply, Professor Choi's voice cut through the conversation.

"I assume everyone remembered to submit your project proposal papers by last night?" Professor Choi's words caused you to audibly gasp, drawing the attention of a few heads.

Unfortunately, you had completely forgotten about the deadline, and judging by Jake's reaction from across the room, it seemed he had too. Dealing with Physics on your own since you had let go of your previous tutor had kept you busy. Although you had performed well on the test for that class the previous day, you had compromised your grade in this particular assignment, and you felt like crying.

The next  hour, you tuned out Professor Choi's lecture, feeling down as you hurriedly wrote up the proposal in hopes to submit it, even though it would likely be graded as late. You knew your grade would still suffer but it was better than a zero.

Just then, your phone buzzed next to you. It was a message from Winter. "Jake wants me to ask if you turned in the project proposal."

You huffed, realizing that you couldn't solely blame Jake for not submitting the project proposal since you hadn't done so either. As it was a group project, you shared the responsibility, but you still felt annoyed that it meant you would likely have to confront him face to face about it.

It took you quite a while to gather the courage and suppress your pride before finally getting out of your car and arriving at the EpNu house. In the daylight, the house appeared entirely different, and you felt a sense of intimidation, especially since you came alone. Standing in front of the door, you contemplated whether to knock or simply enter when the door suddenly swung open, relieving you of your dilemma.

"Oh, hello? I didn't realize someone was at the door. How can I help you?" The boy who greeted you seemed familiar, but you couldn't recall his name.

He had an angelic look about him, which caught you off guard as he appeared quite different from the typical EpNu boys. Don't get it wrong, he was undoubtedly handsome, but compared to the likes of Jake, Jay, Heeseung, and even Niki, he exuded an almost innocent aura.

"Um, I was just wondering if Jake is here?" you asked timidly, feeling a bit embarrassed about your question.

The boy smiled angelically again and pointed upwards. "Yeah, Jake hyung is in his room. It's the first one on the left. Oh, by the way, I'm Sunoo! Nice to meet you. I think I've seen you before. Are you an AES?"

"Thanks, and yes, I am! Nice to meet you, Sunoo. I'm Y/N," you replied, unable to hide your delight. His friendly demeanor helped alleviate your previous nervousness.

"Of course! I have to go to class now, but hopefully, I'll see you around again!" Sunoo waved before departing.

As you made your way in the direction he had indicated, you noticed that the house was surprisingly quiet. Finding Jake's room wasn't difficult, and you said a little prayer before mustering up the courage to knock on the door.

It took a while before you could hear any movement from inside the room, and after a couple of seconds, the door finally swung open.

Jake's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of you standing there. You were the last person he expected to find at his door.

"Hey, Y/N. Uh, what are you doing here?" Jake asked, clearly confused but still letting you in.

"I submitted a terribly written and rushed proposal that I wrote during class, hoping it would be enough to atleast get us some points. I think we need to discuss what we're going to do with the project," you explained, taking note of the slight messiness of Jake's room, with some clothes scattered on the floor. It seemed he had a roommate who was currently out, and the room’s layout seemed similar to Jungwon's room.

"Oh yeah, thanks so much for doing that. Sorry that I forgot too and yeah, I think we should work on it together again. But, Y/N, can I just start by—" Jake began, but you interrupted him.

"Jake, just stop. I'm not interested in hearing you out. I don't plan on being friends with you, and I'm only here because we're assigned to work as partners. I think it would be best if we changed our plan and just created a website or something. It might be the easiest option, allowing us to work on it separately. Let's split the work in half and focus on our respective parts, so we don't have to meet up," you stated firmly, noticing the dissatisfaction on Jake's face.

"No, that's fucking stupid. If we don't work together, how will it be cohesive? We've already received one bad grade for the project; we need to make the final product good enough to compensate for the proposal," Jake retorted, causing you to frown.

"Well, sorry, but I really don't want to have to see you. I know I'm being stubborn right now, but can you blame me for not wanting to work on this with you? Besides, I admit I'm also responsible for forgetting about the proposal, but if you were so concerned about our grade, then why didn't you take care of it and submit it on time then?" Your voice started to rise as the conversation heated up. As usual, you and Jake couldn't seem to agree on anything.

"I don't know! I'm sorry, I just assumed you had already turned it in or something. But seriously, you're being absolutely ridiculous. Just get over it! It's just one project, and we only have like two and a half months left. There's something seriously wrong with you if you can't handle working with me on a project that determines our whole grade for the class!" Both you and Jake were now yelling loudly, and unbeknownst to both of you, the distance between you was narrowing.

"You just assumed I would take care of it? What the hell, Jake? And I did try to work with you. In fact, we were working pretty well until you decided to fuck everything up by lying! Jake, you're being so selfish—" You were abruptly cut off as Jake's lips met yours.

Amidst his anger, all Jake could think about was how hot you looked, with your furrowed eyebrows and wide eyes. The next thing he knew, he was leaning forward, connecting your lips together. As he fully realized what he was doing, he didn't back away; instead, he deepened the kiss. A small part of him knew that he had been fantasizing about this moment for weeks by now.

You, on the other hand, was extremely caught off guard and frozen for a few seconds. But as you felt the warmth and softness of his lips, you began to respond, gradually easing into the kiss. Hesitant movements transformed into more assertive actions, as your teeth clashed and your mouths opened wider.

Obviously, this was not at all how you expected your visit with Jake to unfold. If it were a few months ago, you would have slapped Jake for pulling something like this, but right now, something within you made the anger dissipate, replaced by an unexpected desire for your childhood ex-boyfriend.

Jake's hands found their way to your waist, where a sliver of skin was showing and you couldn't help but let out a soft moan into the kiss as you felt his hands slowly caressing up your skin. His fingers traced the bottom of your bra hesitating, almost as if he was asking for permission to go further and you responded by leaning further into his frame fully giving him consent. 

Your lips detached for a quick second to take off your shirt and bra before reconnecting with the same fervor as before. Jake couldn’t believe how soft you felt under his fingers as he roamed his hands all over your breasts before testing the waters out by softly rubbing your nipples with his thumb.

Your head shoots backward in pleasure which Jake took advantage of as he leaned down to mark your exposed neck. His hands were now working their way down your body, and you shivered as you felt his fingertips trailing lower and lower. This time he didn’t wait for you as you felt him quickly yank your pants down along with your underwear the second he reached them.

You could see Jake sporting a familiar smirk as he observed your bare body. 

“Fuck, Y/N. Look at yourself, you look like a slut. I mean you’re already wet and I’ve barely done anything.” Jake proceeded to whip you around making you face the sliding closet mirror that was located on the other side of the room. 

His words filled you with humiliation yet you couldn’t help but find yourself getting wetter at the scene you were met with. His hand had snaked up to your neck, holding you in a way that made you look directly at yourself in the mirror, and his other hand was making its way to your core. 

His fingers slowly rubbed at your clit before entering you with no warning. His finger was thicker than your own that you were usually used to, inciting you to lean into his frame, having a hard time keeping yourself up with the amount of pleasure you were feeling. Jake’s observation seemed to be correct as you seemed to be sopping wet with the squelching noises that could be heard as he moved his finger in and out of you. 

His hand on your neck had become tighter and you could feel how hard he was becoming from behind you. “Please Jake…” You begged, wanting more.

“Please what?” He chuckled at your desperation. “You want another finger?” Once again, without hesitation, he added another digit inside of you cutting off any sound coming from within you. His fingers moved at a fast pace and your hands moved to be on top of his as if it would give you stability. The scene in the mirror looked like something out of a porno and Jake almost wanted to stop and reach for his phone to capture this moment.

You felt incredibly full and you couldn’t even imagine how his dick would feel if this was how you felt with just his fingers. You couldn’t tell if you were feeling lightheaded from his hand wrapped around your throat or from his fingers deftly moving inside your core, but either way, you could feel yourself being close. 

“I’m almost there, please,” you whimpered out feeling his thumb moving harshly against your clit whilst his fingers quickened to bring you to your release. 

Something inside you snapped, and suddenly, you lost all control over your body. It's as if a surge of electricity coursed through you, blinding your senses and the only thing you could do was moan. Just before you collapsed to the ground, Jake swiftly caught you, preventing the fall. Your eyes remained shut, taken by the overwhelming pleasure that washed over you. 

He withdraws his fingers, slick with your essence, and raised them towards your face. "Open," he instructed, and without a moment's hesitation, you complied, parting your lips as he slid his fingers into your mouth.

The lewd sight in the mirror of you sucking his fingers only fueled his growing impatience. Unable to wait any longer, he swiftly spun you around and forcefully threw you onto his bed.

As he hovered above you, Jake assumed an aura reminiscent of a predator closing in on its prey. In this particular scenario, you found yourself willingly embracing the role of the prey, ready to be devoured by him.

Jake finally started to take off his clothes, and you couldn’t help but feel your entire body becoming hot at the sight. There was no denying how incredibly attractive Jake Sim was, and your mind went into overdrive as you eagerly observed his body. His toned figure was no surprise as he was an athlete but what took you aback the most was his dick. 

No wonder he walked around like he owned the world. With a dick like his, you couldn’t blame him. He was the biggest you’d ever seen as he seemed to reach his mid-thigh with a thickness your mind could barely comprehend, and you were almost skeptical that he would even fit in you. It was pink with prominent veins and glistened as precum covered his tip. You couldn’t help but admire how pretty his dick looked as it stood proudly in front of you. 

“Holy shit Jake…” You gaped with an almost concerned look on your face and this causes him to smirk at your response. Nearly every person that he had been with had given him the same reaction and he didn’t mind at all, as it boasted his ego to a new extreme. 

“Fuck, you’re so big,” your mouth watered as you watched Jake giving himself a couple of pumps before moving to hover over you.

“Yeah, think you can take it, princess?” You quickly nodded eyes locked with his, determined to take all of him in you.

You could feel him moving his hips closer to yours as his tip slowly moved against your entrance, teasing you. "Well, considering how fussy you always are about everything, I'm not really sure you'd be able to handle it," he further teased, flashing a mischievous grin. He pretended to ponder the idea of whether to insert himself in you or not, leaving you on the brink of exasperation as you let out an exaggerated whine. Despite, still being sensitive from cumming earlier, you couldn’t care less as the only thing on your mind was having him in you. 

“Jake please, I need you in me right now,” you were on the verge of crying out of frustration and it felt like forever before he finally gave in to your wishes. 

He plunged his entire length into you without pause and you could only gasp while latching your hands to his biceps. The stretch was foreign and painful, yet you wanted more. You were right, as the fullness you were currently feeling was incomparable to before, in fact, it was nothing you’d ever felt before in your life. And when Jake started to move inside you, once again not giving you time to adjust to him, you seemed to lose all control of your body. 

You were incredibly warm and it was almost painful how tight you were gripping him. “Fuck, Y/N, you’re so tight. You sure you’re not a virgin?” All you could do was shake your head unable to fully form words barely comprehending him.

His pace quickened and he couldn’t help but groan at the sight of your cum from earlier coating white all around his cock. You felt like you were perfectly made to fit him and if he could, he would want to spend the rest of his life impaled in you. 

Your eyes started to well with tears. It almost felt like too much as your sensitivity from your previous orgasm lingered yet Jake was ruthless, rutting in and out of you without giving you time to even breathe. Your moans and whines along with his grunts progressively got louder and by now, neither of you could hold them back and you were sure his neighbors could audibly hear everything that was going on inside his room.

“Mmh Jake, so good. So fucking good,” you whimper while latching your nails to his back needing to hold on to something. His name seemed to be the only thing roaming in your mind. 

Sweat was dripping from him as his eyebrows scrunched indicating how concentrated he was in the act. He was determined to make you cum again and when he spotted a stream of tears escaping from your eyes, he couldn’t help but tease you. “Thought you said you could handle it? You’re moaning like a fucking slut. Does it feel that good?” 

You failed to answer him too engrossed in how he was making you feel and this causes the smirk on his face to widen. “Not able to talk back now, huh? Fucking dumb slut.” 

If he was speaking to you like this anywhere else, you would have instantly bit back, yet under him it was as if you lost all autonomy, unable to produce any words. You indeed were being fucked dumb. You shook your head as tears continued to roll down your cheeks, feeling humiliated at his words, yet you felt yourself tightening your grip on his dick indicating how turned on you actually were by his words.

“So close, so so close,” you’re finally able to pant out tightening your grip on him, holding onto him as if your life depended on it. You could also feel Jake being close as his grip on you tightened and breathing became more erratic.  

And with a harsh pinch that Jake gave you on your clit, you came. Hitting you much more intensely than before, the impact of your orgasm was overwhelming, causing your eyes to roll back and a sharp gasp to escape your lips. In the heat of the moment, you bit down hard on your lip, feeling a metallic tang as the taste of blood instantly filled your mouth. 

Jake continued to thrust in you, pace getting sloppier as he felt himself getting closer at just the sight of you cumming. He grunted one last time before unloading himself in you and dropping his weight on top of you, yet too tired, you didn’t attempt to push him off. In fact, it felt as if all the energy had been drained from your body as the next thing you knew, you found yourself slowly waking up in a dark room, obvious that it was nighttime. The two of you must have passed out afterwards, as Jake laid sound asleep next to you, oblivious to your awakening, his snores filling the air.

The weight of your actions crashed down on you with a sudden and overwhelming force. You had just slept with Jake, your sworn enemy, and a wave of shame washed over you. You struggled to comprehend how you allowed yourself to succumb to such a situation, and a desperate urge to escape consumed you.

You ran to your car as if your life depended on it, desperate to leave the scene behind. Nausea churned in your stomach, almost having to pull your car aside a couple of times, and the very thought of what transpired hours earlier filled you with regret. Sure, you were all for fucking him earlier, but now all those emotions had transformed into self-disgust. 

“Wonyoung, just kill me now and take me out of my misery!” You begged your roommate, the humiliation evident in your voice. Back at your dorm, your roommate had anxiously awaited your return as you had missed all her calls, unaware of the events that had unfolded. With a heavy heart, you recounted the details, laying bare the truth of what had taken place, adding to your own misery and shame.

Unfortunately, your best friend seemed far too amused by your distress. "Aha, I knew it! All that 'hate' between you two was just unresolved sexual tension! It took you long enough," she giggled, plopping herself down on your bed while you buried your face in your pillow.

"What the fuck, Won? You're not helping," you cried out, feeling a sense of betrayal at her lack of empathy regarding the utter seriousness of the situation.

"Hey, why are you so upset? It was consensual, and he's hot as fuck, so what's the problem? Oh my god! Was he bad? Or did he have a micropenis? Remember when I hooked up with that guy who had one? It was terrifying." If you could see her face, you'd laugh at her genuine concern. However, you were in no laughing mood as it was almost painful to admit to her that none of her worries were relevant. The soreness between your legs that made it hard for you to walk up to your dorm and marks on your neck that looked as if you were attacked proved that point all too well. 

"No, it wasn't any of that. Ugh, I hate to admit it, but that was probably the best sex I've had in a while. I mean, he was huge, like porn-star level big, and his hands... the way they wrapped around my neck-" You caught yourself, realizing you're about to divulge more explicit details. It dawned on you that you had nothing but positive things to say about your sexual encounter with Jake.

Wonyoung's eyes widened, a devilish grin spreading across her face. "Oh my god, Y/N! Keep going! I want to hear all the juicy details!"

"No! Geez, Won, I don't ask you to tell me about everything you do with Jungwon, so stop being weird!" While clearly not offended by her, you definitely were slightly concerned by how invested your roommate seemed to be in your sexcapade.

"Oh, are you interested? Because I'm more than willing to share. I mean, he was here yesterday while you were in class, and we-" You cut her off, making a sound of surprise at her confession.

"Here? In our room?" Your eyes widened.

"Yeah, where else do you think we go?" Her nonchalant tone sharply contrasted with your own. "Don't worry, babe. We've never touched your stuff, except for that one time we made out against your bed, but we moved to mine before we actually did the dirty deed," she casually confessed which you were sure she was doing on purpose to mess with you. You let out a high-pitched squeal at the revelation, quite disturbed.

"Oh my God, I'm crashing at Yujin's tonight! I don't think I can sleep here knowing what you just told me." You hastily grabbed your pillow and made your way out, fully determined to spend the night next door with your other friend.

"Sweet dreams, babe! Love you lots!" Wonyoung's voice trailed off as you made your hasty exit.

The next time you had your Relationship 101 class, you found yourself nervously sweating, unsure of how things would unfold between you and Jake.

"Hey, Y/N! Do you think we can meet up later after my practice to work on the project? Sunoo told me earlier that the library was closed because of a burst pipe, but we can meet at the house if you're available," Jake popped out of nowhere before suggesting. It was nowhere near any of the scenarios you had imagined in your head.

The way he addressed you, as if nothing had happened between the two of you a few days ago, left you utterly flabbergasted. You stared at him in disbelief before managing to utter a response.

"Wait, uh, what?" It was all you could muster, feeling yourself get hot at just the sight of him out of embarrassment (and maybe a little horniness).

"Yeah, he told me something went wrong on the second floor, and it messed up the entire pipe system. The library will unfortunately be closed indefinitely. I hope none of the books got soaked; that would be terrible," Jake genuinely expressed his concern for the library, completely oblivious to your astonishment.

"Um, yeah, I guess that works for me," you meekly replied, trying to match his nonchalant tone. If he wasn't going to bring it up, you figured there was no reason for you to do so either.

"Okay, bet! See you later!" He then walked away, leaving you to still process everything that had just happened.

Feeling just as nervous as last time, you approached the EpNu house but you figured that it would be better to get over with it so without hesitation, you opened the door and stepped inside.

However, this time, you noticed that there were a few people around, and the sound of activity came from the kitchen. As you closed the door behind you, Jay popped his head out from the kitchen door, wearing a smile as if he had been expecting you.

"Hey, Y/N!" You weren't particularly close to Jay, but you knew he was one of Jake's best friends, along with Sunghoon. You also knew he was dating Ningning, one of the older girls you had become close with, so his friendly greeting didn't seem out of place.

"Hey, Jay! How have you been? Ningning mentioned how Mrs. Jung caught you trying to sneak in. I hope she didn't give you too hard of a time." Your house mom had a keen eye for things, and it was rare for anything to escape her.

"Yeah, she literally popped out of nowhere and scared the crap out of me. Sunghoon told me the back door wouldn't be guarded as there were no cameras there, but it seems Mrs. Jung caught on that people were using it because she found me as soon as I got in. But that won't stop me," he shrugged. You had laughed when you first heard the story, and it was still amusing to hear how Jay had been caught.

"Well, do you want a slider? I made a bunch because the guys were complaining about not having any food." You were never one to turn down food so you nodded without hesitation.

He handed you a plate with four mouthwatering sliders. "Here, take two for Jake as well. He was wanting one earlier." The fact that Jay knew exactly who you were here for caught you off guard for a moment, but then you remembered that he was Jake's closest friend so you brushed it off.

"Sure thing! Thanks so much for this they look so good, and better luck next time with Mrs. Jung!" you said, bidding Jay farewell before making your way up the stairs toward the familiar room.

You knocked twice, and the door swung open instantly, as if Jake had been eagerly awaiting your arrival. He greeted you with a wide smile, and his eyes lit up with excitement when you handed him the plate of food.

"Oh hell yeah, Jay’s a fucking legend for this!" Jake exclaimed, grabbing a slider from the plate before passing it back to you. You followed suit, taking one for yourself. Jake's assessment was spot on because the moment the food touched your taste buds, you couldn't help but gasp at how good it was.

"Holy shit, this is amazing!" you exclaimed, and Jake chuckled at your reaction.

"Yeah, Jay is probably the best cook in the house, after the actual cooks, of course. He's always willing to make something for us. Last week, he made steaks for me and a few of the guys, and it tasted like it came straight from a fancy restaurant," Jake boasted, clearly proud of his friend's talent.

"Wow, you guys are seriously lucky. This is unbelievably good," you said, reaching for another slider while silently making a mental note to ask Jay for the recipe later.

"Yeah, he's awesome. Next time he cooks something, I'll make sure he saves you a plate," Jake offered, surprising you with his kindness. It felt strange to see him being so nice to you. Maybe Wonyoung was onto something. Perhaps fucking had somehow repaired the relationship between the two of you.

Whatever it was, must have worked its magic again as you once again found yourself in a similar predicament as before. It was unclear how working on the project had escalated to you kneeling on the floor in front of Jake, but neither of you complained. 

“Fuck, look at you. So pretty, all on your knees for me.” Jake mused while you looked up at him with wide eyes as your lips wrapped around the tip of his dick. 

You could feel his hand resting on the back of your head, slowly guiding you down his length, and once he reached the back of your throat, you could feel your gag reflex kicking in. Undeterred by his size, you started to bob at a slow pace, but once you saw Jake’s response, you felt yourself becoming more determined to make him feel good.

“Shit, you really are a slut aren’t you? Look at you taking everything I’m giving you.” Jake’s hands had now made a makeshift ponytail as he was dragging you up and down his dick with more force than before. You were now basically choking on his cock, yet he seemed to be overtaken by the pleasure to give you any respite.  

Tears and spit rolled down your face as you tried to keep up with his pace. Your nose was hitting his pelvis as you were now fully taking his entire length down your throat. His abuse of your throat was making you beyond wet and you reached between your legs, desperate to get yourself off. However, Jake seemed unamused with your act as he harshly yanked your hair back, forcing you off his dick and facing up at him. 

“Dumb bitch, you thought you were going to get away with that, didn’t you. Don’t even think about touching yourself, the only way you’re cumming tonight is on my cock.” You whimpered aroused by how roughly he was treating you. 

You meekly nod with tears still rolling down your face before he gives your face a couple of taps. “Good girl.” He then pushes you back on his length and continues going back to fucking your face.  

Ever since you two first fucked, Jake had been going back in his mind and replaying everything from how you looked in the mirror with his fingers stuffed inside of you to how you looked under him and all he could think about was how he had missed out on capturing those glorious sights. He wanted to be able to go back and take a look at them, forever treasuring those images without them getting hazy in his memory. He, of course, wasn’t going to be making the same mistake twice so while he was pistoning his hip in and out of you, he reached over next to him and grabbed his phone.

From your peripheral, you could see Jake holding something and when you looked up, you were met with the back camera of his phone. Was he videoing you? 

At the realization, you once again found yourself fighting the urge to touch yourself. Just the thought of having your dirty acts documented had you going frenzy. Deciding to put on a show, you tried your best to keep your eyes open to look directly into the camera while exaggerating your gags. 

Jake moaned loudly before abruptly pulling you off his length. You always had an inkling that Jake was a freak, and continued to prove your assumptions correct as he took ahold of his dick to start smothering your face with it. Your already messy face was now covered all over in the mixture of his precum and spit and it was an absolute filthy picture, and he loved every second of it. You giggled while biting your lip at just imagining how you probably looked from his screen. He continued to tap his length on your face and he couldn’t help but admit how the view from his phone was absolutely pornographic. 

After having a bit of fun dragging himself all over your face, making sure that you were covered in him, before he took hold of your hair again and pushed you back down his dick. He gave you no time to recover as he resumed his fast pace. Jake could feel himself already getting close and when you moved your hands to fondle his balls, an instant reaction was triggered out of him.

“Fuck, I’m cumming,” Jake grunted before pushing you all the way down and holding you there, leaving you to struggle with the lack of air. You could feel him spurting himself in your mouth as he kept you in place until he finished. Cum was spilling out from side of your mouth while your eyes were bloodshot from the lack of oxygen. 

“Don’t swallow yet, open up,” he instructed and you obliged by opening your mouth wide, looking absolutely filthy with his load inside your mouth. By now, the cum that leaked along with your spit had flowed down to your breasts and Jake groaned again at the sight before moving the camera closer to you to get a good shot of everything. 

“Swallow,” and once again you followed his instruction without hesitation before opening your mouth again to show that you had done exactly what he had instructed you to do. 

This dynamic between you and Jake was surprisingly working well, and it was no wonder that you found yourselves having sex regularly. Strangely enough, it seemed to have a positive effect on your overall relationship, as the two of you were no longer as antagonistic towards each other as before. In fact, you had been diligently working on your project together and were almost finished, which was quite unexpected considering there were still three weeks left until the deadline. He also resumed being your physics tutor, which you were very much grateful for. Despite its unconventional nature, sex seemed to be working like a miracle for the both of you.

"So, how are things going with Jake?" Winter asked from your bed munching on some trail mix your mom had sent back with you while you were unpacking. 

You had just returned from Thanksgiving break, during which most of your time was spent hanging out with your sisters and fucking Jake. You were surprised that no one had caught on to the two of you sneaking off for a quickie in the bathroom during the joint family Thanksgiving dinner, but you certainly weren't complaining. After all, the last thing you wanted was for anyone from either one of your families to find out about the true nature of your newfound amicability.

"What do you mean?" you replied, acting oblivious to Winter's question. 

Winter had been extremely skeptical when she first found out about your "situationship" through her roommate, who had learned about it from Wonyoung. Winter, being close friends with Jake, knew his reputation with girls. He was a serial heartbreaker who frankly had a track record of being a dick to girls, and as your big, she was naturally concerned about your well-being. Despite your assurances that the relationship between you and Jake was strictly physical, Winter remained unconvinced. In fact, she even went as far as threatening Jake (and his best friends, much to their girlfriends' dismay, and his little, Niki, who she claimed were collateral) with a baseball bat aimed between his legs. Needless to say, by the end of the night, everyone was in agreement with Winter's wishes. 

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Are you two still friends with benefits or whatever you guys are doing?" Winter probed, her concern evident in her tone.

You didn't respond immediately, pretending to be occupied with putting away your makeup. In reality, you were deep in thought, trying to figure out how to articulate your answer. It was difficult to classify your relationship with Jake as friends with benefits since you weren't even really friends to begin with.

"Well, yeah, I guess... It's more like acquaintances with benefits, if you want to put a label on it," you finally replied, sensing Winter's lingering disapproval.

"You know I love you, right? I'm sorry if I sound annoying, but I just don't like what's going on. Trust me, I care about Jake, and he's been a great friend to me, but his history with girls is terrible. And let's not forget how he's treated you throughout your life! I just don't want him to use you and leave you hurt. Why can't you two just date? Maybe that would give more weight to your relationship and ensure he's serious about this," Winter's concerns echoed the sentiments she had expressed repeatedly since learning about your relationship.

"No way, that's a terrible idea. We don't even like each other in that way, let alone enough to be actual friends. Plus, he doesn’t have to be serious about this cause there are no feelings involved. Just trust me, Winter. I've got it under control. Don't worry about me," you assured her, unaware that your big's intuition had been spot on. Little did you know that this would mark the beginning of the end.

While frat parties were usually your go-to on weekends, you and your friends were not opposed to hitting up the downtown bars. They offered a different atmosphere compared to house parties, with a more diverse crowd and a wider selection of drinks. Truth be told, there were times when you even preferred the bar scene.

Paradoxx was the hotspot for most undergrads at HybeU, aside from Greek Row, and that's where you found yourself, a few shots deep with your friends. You decided to invite your seatmate, Lily, to join you, and Wonyoung brought along her boyfriend, who in turn brought Niki, Jake's little. Surprisingly, the five of you hit it off remarkably well, dancing and enjoying your drinks.

"Y/N, honestly, when Jungwon first told me we were going out with you, I never expected you to be this fun. Jake kept talking about how you were snobby and had a stick up your ass, but damn, you're actually so much fun," Niki giggled, clearly intoxicated (he was definitely a lightweight despite his height). You couldn't help but laugh at his confession. It was typical of Jake to badmouth you, but you were glad to prove him wrong.

"Aww, thanks, Niki! Honestly, I had no idea what to expect from you just because you are Jake's little, but I'm really glad Jungwon brought you along. We should all definitely go out like this again!" As soon as your words reached his ears, Niki engulfed you in a tight hug, albeit a slightly suffocating one. You had heard from Beomgyu that Niki was probably their most chaotic pledge, and while you could certainly see why, given how unhinged he seemed to be, but you didn't expect him to be such a sweetheart.

"Here you go!" You heard Lily say as she ran up to you while handing you a shot. Wonyoung and Jungwon also trailed behind her holding matching shots in their hands with an extra for Niki. Jungwon had offered to get a round for everyone, and the other two joined in to help carry them back.

With a collective clinking of shot cups, everyone toasted before throwing the tequila back. The familiar burn of the alcohol wasn't exactly pleasant, but in your tipsy state, you couldn't care less.

In contrast to Niki, Jungwon didn't seem as intoxicated. He had his arms wrapped around Wonyoung from behind, wearing the biggest smile you had ever seen. The two of them swayed to the pulsating beat of the bar, and you and Lily couldn't help but coo at their adorableness. Just as Jungwon was about to speak, three strangers abruptly pushed their way into your friend group, interrupting the moment.

"Hey, are you Y/N?" The tallest of the three asked with a smirk on his face. The other two behind him wore similar expressions, making you feel uneasy. Despite your discomfort, you replied.

"Yeah I am, um, sorry, do we know each other?" You and your friends shared confused looks, as none of you seemed to recognize them. However, the three individuals seemed to light up upon confirming their assumption.

"Fuck, me and the boys here are huge fans of your work, man. You're a legend. Daeho over here has been raving about how you should seriously consider going professional." While their words sounded like compliments, their smirks gave off a mocking vibe. Besides, you had no idea what they were talking about, and their presence was making you increasingly uncomfortable. It didn't help that all three of them appeared completely plastered, struggling to maintain their balance.

As always, Wonyoung’s protective nature regarding you kicked in as she spoke up addressing them assertively. "What are you talking about?"

"You know, her little short films!" The three of them erupted into laughter, as if the boy had just cracked the funniest joke ever.

"Wait a minute, I know you guys. You're on the soccer team, right?" Jungwon furrowed his eyebrows, recognizing the three boys who were still recovering from their fit of laughter. Niki also seemed to be putting together where he remembered them from.

"Yup, we are. Who are you?" They asked, but before Jungwon could respond, they redirected their attention back to you. "Why are you acting so shy now? Hey, we're your biggest fans. Shouldn't you be doing something for us? How about a show?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" You finally snapped, annoyed by their presence.

"Why are you playing dumb? Fuck, you really are a dumb slut, aren't you?" Their words instantly took your breath away. Those were the exact words Jake would use during sex. How did they know?

"Whoa, what the fuck, dude!" Niki intervened, pushing them away from you. The rest of your friends reacted similarly, raising their voices in shock and disbelief at the derogatory comments directed at you.

One of them pushed back against Niki before speaking again. "Don't touch me, you fucker. Besides, it's not like we said anything that wasn't true. You two EpNu boys, right? There's no way you don't know what we're talking about. I bet you guys have some of the exclusives, right? Come on, what did Jake show you guys? Share with the class! Was she on her knees or taking it from behind?" The boys continued their taunting, and it became clear to everyone in your group what they were insinuating. 

The room suddenly felt suffocating, and you felt a wave of sickness wash over you. Panic gripped you, and you knew you were on the verge of a panic attack. Desperate to escape, you bolted out of the bar, needing to get away immediately. The thought that Jake had been showing intimate videos of the two of you to others was unbearable. It was a betrayal beyond words. Despite the tumultuous nature of your relationship with Jake, this crossed a line that was incomprehensible to you. It was even more than cruel; it was devastating.

Wonyoung and Lily quickly followed behind you, reaching out to comfort you in your hyperventilating state, attempting to calm you down. However, their comforting words were drowned out by your overwhelming despair. All you could do was cry, confronted with the devastating reality of what had transpired. Winter had been right all along. You were utterly broken, beyond repair, because you had trusted Jake, and you should have listened to her. Now you were left to face the consequences.

TAGLIST: @hsgwrld @matchawhip @chiefturtlebonkghost @bolliwon @cha0thicpisces @chaechae-23 @softiehee @jeonjieun17  @emikisses​ @ctlvrsworld​  @starryeyedbabey​ @yunjardi​ @hyunjinekoma​ @jaeyunflix​ @txtispeng 

UNABLE TO TAG: @bellebear @yur1a1  

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Part one

Previously; You heard Eddie say that you weren't his type, you're devastated and decide to distance yourself, Eddie notices this and realises how much he misses you...and how much he likes you 💞

Part two warnings, Eddie making a fool of himself, the boy has a serious crush. Mutual pining, idiots to lovers.

💞💌

Now that Eddie has noticed you, it's like he can't stop. He looks out for you in the hallways, secretly hoping that you'll talk to him like you used to.

"Dude, would you go and speak to her instead of gawking at her like an idiot" Gareth snaps, Eddie throws him a dark look and looks away from you.

You're chatting to Robin animatedly and you're just mesmerising. You never opened up like that around Eddie, he's worried he's unknowingly made you nervous around him.

Gareth mentioned about the crush you had on him, was that still the case? He's frustrated because he wants to talk to you, but he feels flustered and unsure what to say.

A rarity for him according to the rest of Hellfire. Assholes. They were right though, he could run his mouth about Jason and his band of buttheads, talk for hours about D&D and heavy metal.

But how is he feeling right now around you? Well this was different. He could be shy if he was attracted to someone but he always knew what to say, even if it was some inane babbling.

Around you though he drew a blank, babbled and blushed much to the rest of the gang's amusement. Fuck they would never let their fierce dungeon master forget that you turned him to absolute mush.

If he could have one proper conversation with you before the week is out then he would be a happy man.

Seeing you being so open around Steve doesn't help either, envy claws at his insides and he feels irrationality jealous of Steve Harrington.

Gareth takes pity on Eddie's failing to talk to you and mentions about the drawings you had done for Hellfire.

"She's really good dude, maybe you could start the conversation with that" this perks Eddie up and he decides to just go for it and speak to you.

He walks over to you as you're chatting to Robin as Eddie approaches you peer up at him and smile. "Oh hi Eddie"

"Uh, hi sweetheart, Gareth says you had some drawings for Hellfire. Would you like to show me them. If you want?" He asks you. Crosses his fingers behind his back.

To his delight you agree. "Sure, I was meant to show you a little while back but uh I was busy, I'd love to show you" he gestures to you to follow him and the two of you head to the drama room where Hellfire is hosted.

Carefully you lay out your drawings on the table, you feel like your whole body is buzzing with nerves as he leans over you to take a look. His fingers caress over the drawings and he lets out a soft gasp of surprise.

Your drawings are amazing and he tells you and you beam at him, pleased that he likes them. Eddie pauses as he shifts one of the pictures away and his eyes widen, "Is that me?" he takes in the photo and you move it away mortified.

The drawing was of Eddie as the Dungeon Master but exaggerated with certain D&D elements and bats that represented one of his tattoos.

"That's an incredible drawing sweetheart" you duck your head to avoid his gaze, that familiar shyness you feel around him, coming back tenfold.

"Thanks" you murmur and you swear your heart might beat out of its chest when he moves closer to you, his breath almost tickles your neck.

"Can I keep this?" He asks and you nod feeling delighted that he likes it so much. You're still confused why he's talking to you so intently and with interest now but you put it out of your mind.

Maybe the two of you could at least be friends? It might help you finally get over him. It wasn't a foolproof plan and you could end up falling even more for him but it was worth a shot.

...

To your surprise Eddie comes over to chat to you all week at school and in Family Video, sometimes you feel like he's making excuses just to talk to you. "Someone's got a crush" Robin teases and Steve doesn't look happy as you help Robin unpack new stock.

"Took him long enough to realise it" you shake your head and ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the thought of Eddie liking you. It couldn't be true though could it?

"He doesn't, he's just interested in my drawings" you explain and you feel the brief hope you had slipping away.

"Yeah...that's totally why he's staring at you like a lovesick puppy, your drawings" Robin subtly nods over to Eddie who nearly knocks several videos over when you catch his eye. There's a sweet goofy grin on his face and a pink tingle to his cheeks.

You had never seen Eddie blush before, he was usually so confident, the blush was endearing. Wait why was he blushing? Surely it couldn't be because of you could it?

No don't be silly. He likes Megan, you're not his type. "He doesn't have a crush on me" you shake your head refusing to believe it.

Robin brightens then gently nudges you to the front of the counter. "Well, he's coming this way, so..." You smile as Eddie walks over to you and is quiet for a few seconds before he blurts out the question he's been dying to speak to you in private.

Curious at what he's going to say, you decide to take your break a little early since the store is quiet for now, you follow him outside and can't help notice how jittery he is. Why was he nervous? Did you make him nervous? The thought was a tiny bit thrilling.

Eddie seems to be struggling with what to say, you wait patiently as he takes a deep breath then it all comes out in a mumbled rush.

"Sorry, what was that Eddie?" you move closer to him, confused at what he's saying, it was all jumbled and quiet. He flushes a little bit then steels himself instantly looking determined.

"Gareth said you had a crush on me and I'm wondering if that's still true?" He blurts out and you freeze. Ah shit.

"Does it matter? You don't like me that way, I'm not your type" you wince at the sadness that colours your tone.

"You're wrong" his voice turns impossibly soft and you stare at him puzzled. You heard him say that you weren't his type.

"I heard what you said to Gareth and you were hoping Megan noticed you" you point out to him, he blushes and nods, not denying it.

"Yeah I was a dumbass, when you weren't around I missed you like crazy and realised how much I really do like you and I'm not interested in Megan, not anymore" Unbelievable, you shake your head torn between amusement and being completely stunned.

"You sure do take your time Eddie Munson" you eventually reply to him and he gives you a heartmelting smile and on an impulse you kiss his cheek, then at that moment Steve yells that your break is almost done. Great, just great.

Picking up your bag, you wave goodbye to Eddie and rush to get back inside, Eddie touches his cheek where you kissed it and a big smile breaks across his face. He's dazed and happy for a few seconds, then he comes to. "Hey, princess. Will you let me take you on a date sometime?" He yells over to you.

You peer up at Eddie through your lashes, "Sure...definitely sometime" you smile at him then turn away, try to control the fact you want to squeal out loud. You're trying to act cool and nonchalant.

Eddie who has no compunction about expressing how he feels practically struts his way back to his van. You stifle a giggle and know the sometime date will be soon, very soon.

❤️🫶

[randoimago]

It must’ve just not gone through then! I wanted to request headcanons for Kenma, Oikawa, Iwaizumj and nishinoya finding themselves in a “there’s only one bed” trope with their crush. Thank you!!

Fandom: Haikyuu

Character(s): Iwaizumi, Kenma, Oikawa, Nishinoya

Note(s): While I love the "only one bed" trope, they are all teenagers so sharing a bed with Reader feels a bit weird. I took a more comedic approach to this.

Iwaizumi

Immediately picks up the hotel's phone to ask how there was a mix up with the room.

Yes, he's a teenage boy and there's a voice in the back of his mind that's going crazy at the idea of sharing a bed with you. But he also knows that your parents and his own parents would kill him if they knew you two shared a bed.

If there really is no solution to the bed situation then Iwa will sigh and let you take the bed. He will glare and not let you say anything to protest. He's ended up having to share a room with Oikawa before, that's way worse than the couch that he'll sleep on tonight.

Kenma

Barely even noticed as his head is in his PSP and he's playing Monster Hunter. It's the easiest way to ignore the fact that his heart is racing that you're sharing a room with him.

When you bring up the situation, Kenma sighs and glances up to see the bed. "I'll sleep on the floor," he tells you and you don't get to protest as he's already finding a comfy spot.

In all honesty, he's most likely pulling an all nighter to play his video games. Don't worry, he'll put headphones on so he doesn't wake you up.

Nishinoya

Oh he is thanking every god he can think of for this opportunity. Immediately clears his throat when he sees the bed and gives you a bright smile.

"Don't worry, Reader, I'll keep you warm." Says it like it's his absolute pleasure to be so close to you and making it obvious that he is more than happy for cuddles.

You'd be the one that goes to Ukai and mention the situation because you're both highschool kids and you're not about to share a bed with him. Nishinoya is devastated.

Oikawa

A shit-eating grin is on his face as soon as he hears you're both sharing a room. He's just ready to annoy you and flirt and talk about how great he is.

And then you both enter the room and there's only one bed. It's definitely a bit of a problem. Oikawa might like you, but he also likes his beauty sleep and hogging the bed, which he can't do if you're there.

So he tells you that you can take the bed first, he's going to stay up late memorizing the opponent team's strategies from practices he's viewed. And then when he's ready for bed, he's kicking you to the couch.

[imtryingbuck]

Oh, He Cheated

~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Reader walks in on her boyfriend cheating then confessions are made

Word count: 919

Warnings: angst? fluff? ima say both, idk. stds are mentioned, swearing, somebody gets punched, and I think that’s it – oh a protective bucky

Masterlist

Walking into your apartment, you come to a halt. You hear noises of pleasure. Looking into your bedroom you see your boyfriend of 3 years having sex with your best friend. You should be devastated of the betrayal, but you simply can’t however you do have to stifle that booming laughter from clawing its way out. You just walk back out the door quietly shutting the door and head back to the tower. 

You work for Tony as an “assistant” more like you get paid a ridiculous amount of money just to make sure Tony eats and drinks and not sleep in his lab. Curtsy of Pepper. Both look at you as their daughter which is great as you don’t have a good relationship with your parents. You absolutely adore them and the team. They are your family. 

Speaking of family, they’re all sat in the common room talking about something you can’t quite hear. Sam’s the first one to see you, smiling wildly he then looks confused. “What you doing here sugar mama”.

“Yeah thought you headed home”. Comes the voice of your red headed friend Natasha.

“Oh yeah um I walked in on Joe fucking Stacey in my bed so thought I’d come back here, didn’t want to disturb their romp”. You say it like it’s nothing, and if you’re completely honest it’s true. It doesn’t bother you that your boyfriend is sleeping with your best friend.

It’s not the first time he cheated, it happened once and he told you afterwards apparently the guilt got to him. That was a lie, the other woman found out about you so she blackmailed him to tell you. Ever the fool you forgave him he promised not to do it again. You found out about him and Stacey two months ago when Stacey gave you her phone to look through a photo of you two and that’s when you found the videos of them going at it. Then that night whilst he was passed out next to you, you went through his phone to look at his messages between them, they’d been sleeping together for 3 months, he needed his needs to be met and ever the desperate mess she is she let herself be the other woman. You had been busy everyday with the team rebuilding the tower after the latest attack so naturally sex was the last thing on your mind. At first it hurt because she’s been your friend since you were little and you were very much in love with him but now you find it funny. Funny because she told you three months ago she had STDs. He obviously doesn’t know. And that’s why it’s hilarious.

You tell your family this, they’re angry. But you told them you didn’t care anymore the only reason why you was still with him was because of the lease of your apartment. You told them that every time you saw him you wanted to laugh. And that it didn’t matter anyway as you was in love with someone else.

Tony being Tony had already got in touch with your apartment manager to get you off the lease then an hour later you’re back at your apartment with your family behind you. Walking in you see Stacey still there, she smiles at you but you don’t give the gesture back. “Hey boo I just got here wanted to see if you wanted to g-“ her sentence is cut off by Natasha slamming her into the wall. Nats never been a fan. Joe stands frozen looking confused as everyone starts packing your stuff for you, he pathetically attempts to talk to you but gets cut off by Buckys metal fist to his mouth. The team don’t even bat an eye to it but you’re slightly taken back by the punch.

“You ever go near her again or even look at her I will kill you. Try and talk to her I will kill you. Do you understand?” Bucky growls “do you understand”. He shakes Joe by his shirt.

“Yes yes I understand!” He then looks at you “baby what’s this about” he spits the blood out of his mouth.

You look around checking your stuff is gone before you step over to him and Bucky. “If I was you I’d get yourself checked, she’s riddled with stds” Nudging you head in the direction of your now ex best friend. “Oh also the moans she was letting out an hour ago was fake. Your little pecker isn’t great. Ok bye bye” You laugh as you hook your arm with Bucks left one and all of you take your leave. 

Later that night you’re on the rooftop admiring the view when you hear someone clearing their throat behind you. 

“Hey I didn’t mean to startle you” 

“You didn’t Buck” 

“So I um who’s the person you’re in love with?” 

“You” Why did you just admit that god damn it now he’s goin-

He kisses you. The kind of kiss that’s full of love and passion the kind that takes the wind out of you. “I’m in love with you too”. His voice is raspy before you can speak he’s talking again “will you go on a date with me?” You can’t vocalise your reply so you nod enthusiastically.

Tony finds you both the next morning curled up asleep on the couch, covering the two of you with a blanket he had in his hand he can’t help the smile on his face. 

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[ash5monster01]

Piano Man

Chapter Two - If I Only Had the Words (to Tell You) 🎶

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, mentions of heartbreak, abandonment issues, emotional vulnerability, heart ache, established relationship

Summary: You and Steve have been dating for nearly 6 months, all of which he’s enjoyed. Yet it has been exactly a year since Nancy told him he was bullshit. So even though he desperately wants to tell you he loves you he’s afraid you might say he’s bullshit too.

word count: 2k

One ←→ Three

Masterlist

Fall 1985

But I only have these arms to hold you

It’s a dark Fall night. The house smelling of popcorn you had popped earlier to watch during a movie. Halloween decorations had been plastered all over Steve’s home, a home that hadn’t been decorated for any holiday in a very long time. You had changed that though, changed him. You made not only this home full, but his heart. Which is why Steve lies beside you in his bed absolutely hating himself for not being able to tell you how he feels. How much he loves you, how much you had saved him these last six months.

You had been there for it all. Cheering in the stands when he graduated, taking your lunch break to visit him everyday at Scoops Ahoy, not getting jelous of his newfound friendship with Robin, taking care of him when the monsters returned and the mall burned down, and even helping him and Robin get hired at the video store where you had worked this entire time. Everytime he thought you'd leave, somehow you were still there, and he appreciated you for every bit of it. So why the hell couldn't he say it?

He knew why. He knew because everytime he looked at the plastic Halloween decorations filling his home he was brought right back to Tina's Halloween party. Right back to that very bathroom where the only girl he ever loved looked into his eyes and told him he was bullshit. It had been a year but he still remembered how devastated he was, how his heart felt as she ripped it straight from his chest. The look in her eyes was seared into his memory, devoid of any emotion but distate blazing in them. He couldn't relive that, wouldn't relive that. Especially with you.

He may have loved Nancy but with you it was different. With you, he knew you were going to be the one. The one person handcrafted specifically for him. A soul designed to match his own in a large and lonely world. Somehow he had found you and now he wouldn't do anything to risk it, he would guarantee it. It had hurt when Nancy said she didn't love him but if you did. Well that would kill him.

"What kind of candy do the kids like?" you ask in the dark bedroom, voice overlapping that of Billy Joel's from the cassette player. You're My Home played softly throughout the room and you wished Steve knew that was how you felt about him. That until now you were pretty sure you had nowhere to belong and now you belonged to him.

"Why do you ask?” Steve hums, hands reaching to run through your hair. He lived for nights like this, where you just laid here with legs tangled together and talked about things practically meaningless.

"Well I want to make them happy, I know how much they love Halloween. Dustin hasn't shut up about it all week and I want something to cheer Mike up. I know how badly they wanted to dress up as The Goonies but with Will and El gone they can't" you tell Steve, hand lacing with his own under the covers. Steve smiles softly at you and how much you care for the very kids he had taken under his own wing.

"I don't know what kind of candy they like, I'm sure whatever is fine. As for Mike, tell him we can be Andy and Brand. Maybe I can convince Robin to be Data or something" Steve tells you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The image of Robin in the Data costume meant for Will makes you giggle and Steve is pulling you closer, chest brushing against your own.

"You'd give up our Grease costume for that?" you ask, knowing how excited he was to be Danny Zuko and wear his leather jacket.

"Yeah but don't tell them that. They'll get big heads" Steve grumbles, practically hearing Dustin tease him about how much he loves all of them. You giggle against him and Steve warms over, feeling those very words sitting heavy on his chest. If only he had the words to tell you. He knew you were waiting, wondering why he hadn't said them. If you only had time to understand why he struggled with it so much. Everyone he ever loved left, if he said these words outloud he couldn't risk you leaving him too.

"You're the best Stevie" you tell him, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his nose. Steve hums in delight, not allowing you to back away as he pulls you to his lips and kisses you quickly. He knows you love him, you only said things like that to replace those very words. If he would just say it your response would have been 'I love you Stevie'. Instead he gets broad statements that he has slowly come to despise.

"Yeah, yeah, best babysitter ever" he mumbles and you giggle because even though he pretends to hate it you know how much he loves it. How much he loves those kids. If he didn't he wouldn't spend time with them. One of those very kids was his ex girlfriend’s brother and he never let any of those things stop him. He was always there for them.

"Only the best can handle six kids at a time" you tell him and Steve searches your eyes, loving how when you look at them they’re filled with adoration instead of hate. He knows not saying anything won't change your feelings and you will carry on loving him without it. He just couldn't bring himself to say it, the urge never there even though he was practically dying inside to tell you. He wished you knew how hard it is to say.

Sometimes when he finds himself even close he feels silly. I love you seemed too simple to portray the love he had for you. It was so basic, a word your heard on the radio over and over again. Every song as simple as the last. How unoriginal were his words when the radio repeats them every single day? Even with his love for Billy Joel he figures he'll never find a song to sing you. One that perfectly depicted exactly how he felt about you. He doesn't want to sing those tired words again, words he wasted on people who never loved him back.

“You ever think about having kids?” Steve asks, leaning back into the pillow and staring at his ceiling. You admire the soft tufts of his hair on his chest, the way his bicep flexes as he reaches to tuck his hand under his head. He’s so handsome and it should scare you that your boyfriend of only six months has suddenly asked you about having kids and yet you don’t seem to mind.

“All the time” you tell him earnestly, snuggling into his side and grazing your fingers along his sternum, grinning when he shivers from your touch.

“I want to have a whole bunch, make me feel better about being an only child” Steve says, his hand pressed to your back slowly sliding up and into your hair.

“What do you mean, make you feel better?” you ask, lifting your head to glance at the boys face as he continues to be deep in thought.

“I was a lonely kid, my parents never really cared to pay any attention and without any siblings or cousins I was left to my own devices. I think it’s half the reason I was such an asshole in high school” he says, almost wincing at the thought of how many people he had treated like shit over the years just to guarantee he wouldn’t be all alone.

“You were protecting yourself” you say, understanding exactly what he means and Steve nods, eyes glancing down at your form.

“I want my kids to have built in friends and even better, present parents” he tells you and suddenly you find yourself wanting nothing more than to have kids with the boy beside you.

“You’ll be the best Dad Steve, I just know it” you tell him and there are those words again, sitting on his tongue and begging to escape but he just can’t seem to let them go. He hates himself for it, looking away before you see the regret in his eyes.

“I hope so, I just wish my Grandpa was still around to see it” he says, thinking of the only person in his life who ever really liked him for him when he was growing up. The man who had heaven sent you straight to him when he needed you the most.

“He is, don’t you worry about that Stevie” you tell him, eyes fluttering close as you listen to cassette playing in the room. The boombox clicked, indicating the start of a new song. Worse Comes to Worst slowly filling the room.

“Oh worse comes to worst. I’ll get along” you start singing the melody into the dark night air, the fall breeze fluttering in from the window and brushing against the curtains.

“I don’t know how, but sometimes - I can be strong” Steve starts singing along with you and suddenly your both giggling into the night, sharing a love for one another and a love for Billy Joel. The very man that had brought you two together.

“Do you ever get sick of listening to him?” Steve asks and you know he’s asking you about Billy Joel. You shake your head softly against his chest, gazing into those hazel eyes.

“No, he reminds me of you. Makes me feel close to you no matter where I am. Yet I suppose that’s exactly how he makes you feel about your Grandpa” you say, voice humming along the boys ribs.

“Yeah but now he reminds me of you too” Steve admits and you smile before leaning up and capturing his lips in your own. When you had approached the sad boy in the record store you never would have imagined it would bring you here.

"I'm gonna try and sleep" you tell the boy, snuggling closer and allowing your heavy eyelids to close. Steve smiles softly and presses another kiss to your forehead. He knows life goes on and tonight will soon be gone. Another missed opportunity to tell you exactly how he feels. His wished he had the words to tell you but instead he only has his arms to hold you, pulling you closer into him. It's really all you can ask of any man, to be held with such love even if he won't say it.

"Goodnight Rosy" he mutters, 'I love you' he says in his head. He knows disappointment swells in your chest, having been by his side for six months and waiting to know exactly how he felt about you. The only noise in the dark room now is the voice of Billy Joel and your soft breathing. He pulls you close, relishing in the feeling of having you in his arms. When he’s sure you’re asleep he tells you.

"I love you Rosy, I really do. Just please don't give up on me, I promise I want to say it. You deserve to know just how much I adore you but every person I've ever loved has left me. I know you won't but I need time for my head to catch up with my heart. Until then, if I only had the words to tell you..."

Taglist: @slvtforstve @keerygal @goosy-goose @livsters @blckburd @loveshotzz @ohwauwdoritos @superblysubpar @southereads @amataadriana @violet2022 @mxrcjqckspnchqsc @madaboutjoe @thunderstomp-and-tequila @justdamnpeachy @micheledawn1975 @fangfatale @kingstevesgf @eddiesguitarskills @palmtreesx3 @momospeaches47 @pbs-theundeadmaggot @notlilyyyy @xuimhao @lianna75 @lvjmel @sadbitchfangirl @halflifejess @starkleila

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Severance is eldritch horror. Dylan meets his son, and, in the blink of an eye, he's back to his outie self and is incapable of coming back at will. Can you imagine that? All you've know your entire life is work. All you know about yourself is what your job is. Then, suddenly, you're aware that you're a father. Your son comes into a closet---your closet, with clothes you've never worn but belong to you. You bought them. You're seeing your style and preferences for the first time. Your son is so happy to see you that he wraps you in a hug. You don't know what his name is. You don't know that you have more children. You don't remember any of them being born. You only know that this boy is your son because he calls you "daddy". And then you're gone. He's gone. You wake up in your office with absolutely no way of going back.

Helly wants to leave. She learns that she's the daughter and heiress to the man/company who is keeping her trapped. Her chance of escaping rests entirely on her outies willingness to let her go. This is never going to happen. Her power rests in the hands of a woman who is her but also not her. She is enslaved to herself. All she has to do is go outside and say "I don't want this anymore" and she will be free! The moment she steps outside, she loses every desire to do that. The person she is when she's outside does not want to do that. She watches a video of herself where she tells herself "you are not [a person]". The person she was when she sat down to record it and the person she was when she watched it are somehow entirely different and entirely the same. She tries to hang herself in order to hurt the version of herself who made that video. I'd like to take a second to talk about the eldritch horror of being an outie, too. Imagine being outie Helly. Imagine walking into work and bring perfectly okay. The next thing you know, you've hung yourself and are actively suffocating. You have no way of saving yourself. Your innie self made sure of that. You are in the process of dying and you don't remember why.

Burt retires from his job. Burt, who has just started to fall in love, is ripped away from the man he loves because of... Well, himself. His outie has decided to retire, and Burt has no choice but to follow him. He is him. Except he's not. Except he is. Except he's not because the man who has decided to retire is married. In Burt's retirement video, his outie states that he's aware that someone is making his innie very happy. He knows that it's another man. That's incredibly scary? Imagine having no memory of the last eight hours but being able to feel the effects that they have on you? Imagine going into work in whatever mood, and then leaving in an elated one and having no concrete idea as to why. Imagine being faithfully married and knowing that there's a part of your day where you don't know that you're married. You have absolutely zero control over whether you cheat on your husband. You do cheat on your husband! You are not aware of his existence while you're living as your innie. You have no clue how devastated you've left the man you're cheating on your husband with. You have no clue why he's banging on your door in the middle of the night. You don't know him. Even without your memories, you can feel how happy he makes you. Your husband is holding you while he bangs on the door.

Mark saves Helly from suicide. He's forced to leave work. If Burt is anything to go by then Mark, the outie, is suddenly extremely distressed and crying while having no idea as to why. He walked into work okay and left with tears on his cheeks. Suddenly, innie mark is at a party. He sees people who he knows but has never met before. He has no idea the woman standing in front of him is his sister. He sees a photo of a woman that all the people in the outside world believe to be dead. He works with this woman. She's alive! He has the power to change the lives of the people outside. He's gone in the flick of a switch. Outie mark doesn't remember shouting "she's alive". He doesn't know why everyone is staring at him funny. He doesn't know that his wife is not dead. He doesn't know that the person he's trying so hard to forget is his co-worker.

Irving. Poor Irving. The man he loves is taken away from him. They will never see each other again. Even if they do, they will not know each other. The man he loves gets to live the rest of his life without the knowledge that he ever even met Irving. Irving has to walk into work every day and mourn the loss of a man who will never come back. This man is not dead. He's just not himself. Except he is. Except he's not. Except he kinda is dead. Without work, your innie is effectively dead. Your innie and outie are two completely different people. Irving used to follow all the rules. Who knew that the heart of a rebel is born from the broken pieces of a good man's? Irving gets a chance to find the man he loves. He finds him embracing another man. This does not deter him. He throws his weight at the door and starts banging on it.

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

How about reader, who is a seasoned gamer, invites Gaz to play something like Valorant or Fortnite etc. She says "dw it took me a while to get good too" but he picks it up stupid quick. He spends the rest of the time enjoying winding her up more than the actual game.

absolutely absolutely. gaz can and should get away with everything.

1,833 words / lucky number 13

...

"Gaz... you know most people play video games to escape their responsibilities."

"So you've told me." Gaz's voice crackles over your headset.

You're staring at your screen, watching as he confirms his character selection in the game's lobby. "You're absolutely sure you want to play tank?" you ask him.

He locks in his character, and it appears in the pregame lobby: a bald-headed, square-jawed guy with a muscular build and heavy armor.

"Positive. You're playing healer, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm playing tank. Pocket me."

"You've never even played this game. We'll both get obliterated."

"Come on. How hard can it be? Shoot, use ability, reset. I take the damage; you heal me; I dish it back out; we win; you thank me for carrying you as always. It's just like our usual game."

"Repeat that last one. I think your mic cut out on account of the bullshit."

"You don't think I can keep the heat off you?"

"I don't need you to keep the heat off me. I just want you to have fun and not die in the first five seconds of the round," you tell him. He did buy this game specifically to play it with you. After a totally reasonable amount of prodding on your part. It's been your go-to for weeks.

"Then pocket me and I won't die. I'm not having fun if I'm not in the thick of it. You know me."

"Fine. For one game."

"Bet," Gaz says, sounding smug about it. "I'm not gonna disappoint."

During that first game, he's getting his bearings. But he takes to it rather intuitively, especially with your help over voice chat. His tactical skills are whip-sharp as always. As you pocket him, you focus your character's abilities on keeping Gaz alive. But you switch to upping his damage output when you realize he's holding down a choke point by himself, taking on enemies and laying out a field of fire for your team. It's impressive, considering this is his first time playing the game.

When an enemy sneaks up on you, his pocket healer, he disposes of them with slightly more prejudice.

"You're pretty good at this," you tell him, scanning the results screen. "I mean, maybe mid-tier if you were on your own."

"Mid-tier?" he says, a little affronted. "It's called being adaptable. Not that you'd know. Hundreds of hours in this game and you're mid-tier support at best."

You cross your arms, leaning back in your computer chair. "Because I don't play support. You know what? I'm switching to DPS. See what you carry without me patching your ass up every ten seconds."

Back in the lobby, you select your main. Gaz eyes the character with a bit of respect. "A rogue, huh? You must think you're pretty good. Gonna need a lot more healing."

"Only if I get hit."

"I could sponge that damage right up for you. Keep you nice and safe."

You scoff. "Won't need it."

"Let's see."

In the next round, you weave in and out of combat, gleefully dodging attacks and landing devastating blows before you disappear. Your bread and butter. Meanwhile, Gaz does--at worst--an admirable job tanking. Still, when you look back and see enemies surrounding him, it's clear he could use an assist.

You double back and flank two of the enemies on him, picking them both off one by one. But before you can gloat, his voice in your headset interrupts you.

"Good kills, baby."

That's not the reaction you wanted. It immediately ticks you off. "I know."

He chuckles and takes down another enemy. He's tunneling in on the fight now that you've got him back on his feet, but clearly he still has time to talk to you. "Can't take a compliment."

The face that he's purposely pushing your buttons just irritates you more.

The next few games, he makes himself indispensable as a tank. It should be a good thing, but he keeps getting in your way specifically. You'd swear it's on purpose. He tanks hits for you and then acts like you'd lose the game without him. His cockiness is insufferable. Worse--you can't ignore how deftly he's scaling the difficulty curve here. He's holding the attention of the enemy players, keeping them away from you while you deal the damage. And you'd never admit it, but the way he's holding aggro is saving your ass.

You shouldn't need him to do that, though. You tell yourself the only reason you're not playing better is because he's forcing you to maneuver around him.

Then he offs the enemy rogue right as you're finishing her off. You swear into the mic. "Gaz, come on! You stole my kill."

"I'm giving my little rogue the help she needs. Besides, you know it's not about getting the most kills. It's about the team's collective score," he teases, and you have to remind yourself it's just a game.

It's like he can tell exactly what to do to piss you off in record time after that. Bossing you around, telling you to take this point or make that kill. He even pipes up once to remind you it'd be a good time to use your ult. You open your mouth to tell him it's not ready yet, but to your chagrin, you glance down and realize it is. Somehow he's keeping track? Unreal.

You're a little impressed about that one, but you'd never tell him. In your defense, he's distracting you with all this banter and teasing. He's making it hard to focus.

"No backseat gaming," you tell him.

"Wouldn't have to backseat game if you played better."

"I would be playing better if you weren't crowding me!" You sigh out your nose. "You're only doing this to get a rise out of me. Micromanaging me. I swear you get off on it."

"You're giving me too many opportunities to obsess over you." He sounds smirky.

The way he says it makes something in your lower stomach flip. You lose focus for half a second--long enough for the enemy rogue to slip past Gaz and smack you.

Gaz slams into her with his shield to stun her, then spins around and uses his special to deal more damage. That last hit downs her. You don't even have a chance to react.

His voice in your headset is smug still. "Like I said."

"Fine. Thanks."

"You can thank me by not dying again."

After the game, you sit back in your chair, arms crossed. "You sure talk a lot of shit."

"Am I?" You hear him grinning. "I hoped you'd give me a little more attitude than that."

"Oh, I know. You're not subtle."

"Neither are you. You get riled up so easy."

"You want me to fight you? Because it sounds like you'd rather me just roll over and bite the damn curb."

"No, you want that. You're a masochist."

"Thank you."

"It isn't a compliment."

"I know. Keep bullying me," you snark into your mic.

It's hard to resist teasing you when you say stuff like that. "Okay," he says, his tone turning playful. He leans back, crosses his legs, and situates himself in his chair. The game's results screen idles on his monitor, forgotten. "You've gotta stop making it so easy for me, though."

"I get that a lot."

"I'm sure you do, sweetheart."

"Ooh, are we doing condescension now?"

"I've been condescending to you since minute one. I can turn it up if it's not obvious enough."

"Keep going and I'll get off."

"Off voice chat, you mean?"

You smirk. "No."

He smiles, rolling his shoulders back. "I can absolutely be more condescending to you if that's what your incompetent little heart desires."

You laugh. "You were just waiting to bring that one out, weren't you?"

"I've got several of them tucked away just in case you got mouthy, But let's be honest--you're always mouthy."

"You're one to talk. You talked hella trash that last match."

"Only because I had to pull your ass out of the line of fire all the time. If you were better, I wouldn't have to. You're giving me ammunition, here."

"I just think it's telling that you play tank."

"Are you saying I'm compensating for something?"

"You said it. Not me."

He rolls his eyes, smirking. "You want to talk about projecting? You're the masochist, and you play a rogue? The one class known for being fragile? You're putting a target on your own back. What does that say about you?"

"Better than a tank main," you quip.

"I'm taking all the hits so you can DPS your way to getting play of the game. Makes me sound proper generous."

You examine your nails. "Makes you sound like a control freak."

"Why don't you look me in the eye and say that? Turn on your cam."

Your grin widens. "Gaz, please. If I turned my webcam on every time some guy online asked me to, I'd never have time to play."

He leans forward, lowering his voice. "Who says I'm kidding? Come on, baby. Give me eye contact. Look me in the eye and tell me I'm a control freak."

"Nope." You know he hates that you're not budging.

"Why? Aren't you decent?"

"More like I have Cheeto dust all over my hands."

"Doubt that."

"It's true."

"Come on. Prove it."

"See? Control freak."

"Fine, I'm a control freak--withyou. But you like it, don't you?"

"Oh, I love when you order me around. I love knowing exactly what you want me to do so I can avoid doing it forever."

He sits back in his chair and stares through his screen. It's not like he's never seen your face before. You've posted a selfie or two in shared chats. But he's never seen you cozied up in your pajamas. Or in a cute little robe. Or maybe a big t-shirt, the soft kind. Like he wears.

Yeah, he's realizing he's down bad. Worse than he thought.

"You wanna make the next round more interesting, then?" he asks.

You arch a brow, propping your sock-covered feet up on your desk. "Like how?"

"You lose, you turn on your camera, obviously."

You snicker. "I don't know what you think I get up to on a Friday night, but you're gonna be sorely disappointed." You pop another Cheeto in your mouth, knowing he'll hear it crunch.

Gaz laces his fingers behind his head. "I've already curbed my expectations. Bet you're sitting around in sweats and a hoodie with some anime character on it." Not that the thought of that isn't appealing. He suspects you don't let many people see you that way.

"You're... uh..." You look down at what you're wearing. "Not far off, actually."

"I know, baby. I've seen your Discord handle."

"So what if I win?"

"Then I won't tell anyone how hard you got stomped these last few rounds. And trust me, I'd be telling everyone. It's embarrassing how much of a load you were. Don't take that the wrong way, though--by all means, just sit there looking cute while I carry this next game."

"Oh, you're on."

Gaz grins, leaning forward. "Yeah, we'll see how cocky you are when I put you back in your place."

You pull your chair back up to your desk, hands poised over your mouse and keyboard. "Promises, promises."

Gaz readies up, too. "Don't worry, baby. I'll keep my word. But once I humble you, you're gonna regret ever doubting me."

...

more Gaz / masterlist tag

[batmanschmatman]

Book Rec: Coming Out Under Fire, by Allan Bérubé

Occasionally I see some discourse on Tumblr from folks in the HBO War fandom or different historical/history adjacent fandoms about how there weren’t that many members of the queer community involved in WWII, and I’d really like to point them and everyone else with an interest in queer history to this wonderful book. Originally published in 1990, Coming Out Under Fire gets into all the different ways queer folks DID participate in the war. It’s from an American perspective, so if you’re looking for other Allied experiences, unfortunately there won’t be much here for you, but it’s exceptionally well researched, and crucially a lot of the content comes from interviews with surviving servicemembers. There’s also a documentary based on the book, which came out a few years later and includes video interviews with some of the folks included in the text.

One of Bérubé’s main points in his introduction – and for writing the book in the first place – is the American government, history textbooks, Hollywood, etc. is able to paint the WWII-era military as an almost entirely straight military force because many queer people who participated in the war effort were silenced during their lifetimes, and were unable or unwilling to reveal their true identities. Some of this was from societal pressure – the post war period saw a huge surge in homophobic rhetoric and persecution in the name of fighting Communism, not to mention the ever present heteronormative pressure to get married and have kids – but also because so many queer veterans died during the AIDS epidemic. Bérubé was inspired to preserve the voices of those who were still with us and shed a light on some of the folks we lost. (Note that this was also an intensely personal issue for Bérubé, who lost friends and his partner to AIDS and thus saw first hand how devastating this was to the community in terms of robbing us of our loved ones, friends, elders, and history itself.)

In the book, Bérubé makes the point over and over again that queer people were involved at basically every level in the American military during the war. There’s stories about guys lying when asked “Do you like girls?” during enlistment, lesbians in the Women’s Army Corps being brought to trial for fraternizing, drag shows in POW camps and in reserve, front line combat veterans discussing losing romantic partners to enemy fire or coming out to foxhole buddies, who were supportive allies rather than hateful. One of my favorite stories that’s always stuck out to me is a guy who came home and decided to come out to his elderly mother, who was fully accepting and supportive of her son’s sexuality. I see so many people speaking in absolutes that there’s NO WAY you could come out to your family and be accepted in the past, and while that was certainly true for so many people, it’s also not an absolute truth.

Please note I am NOT giving blanket permission to make assumptions about real-life people’s sexualities or identities, nor am I saying Band of Brothers fics where half the company is dating each other are historically accurate, but it’s really sad to see folks on here (unknowingly, hopefully) perpetuating the myth that there really weren’t that many queer folks in the military during WWII. We were there, we just couldn’t be out the way we might have liked to be. After the war, the Red Scare, societal pressure, and a literal epidemic silenced countless members of the community about their time in the service. There’s no way to know how many people who fought on Guadalcanal or worked at stateside bases or sorted mail in France were queer, but it’s a lot more than you were led to believe.

As a member of the community and a historian (brief resume: MA in Public History, BA in American History, have published stuff and created exhibits for dozens of museums), I just want to remind folks that we have always been here, and our lives weren’t always miserable and tragic when we came out to people or decided to live as authentically as we could get away with. It’s not completely historically inaccurate to write fic or original fiction where your queer characters can come out to their families and not be shunned, or live with their partners and not be immediately murdered. Being queer wasn’t invented at Stonewall.

[simplydnp]

idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen react to you ignoring them for your dog

requested by @cinnamoroxie : "svt w an s/o that has a super hyper golden doodle.. and svt gets jealous cuz you’re giving more attention to the dog than to him"

masterlist

seungcheol

whiny, so so whiny. gets jealous instantly. the moment your dog pads into the room and your eyes are no longer on him, he's demanding your attention back and pouting and looking all sad. is acting like a puppy himself, actually. doesn't even care if your puppy is the cutest thing in the entire world because he's meant to be your cutest puppy.

jeonghan

goes all "hey >:(((" when he sees that you're not paying attention to him, but then he looks behind him to see the dog and he's all "!!! so cute!!!" coos over your dog for like ten minutes but when you end up paying more attention to it rather than him he's all "hey >:(((" again bc yeah your doggo is pretty but he's pretty too???

joshua

your dog doesn't even come over to you, it goes over to joshua. you're not paying attention to what shua says purely because your puppy just looks so comfortable in shua's arms as if he was the one to own your pup. joshua acts like nothing is wrong at all tho, n keeps pouting telling you to look at him while he's talking :(((

junhui

just starts ignoring you in favour of cooing over your dog too. your dog had come in at some point while you'd been together in the living room, but an hour later and the pup has been getting a little wriggly and you've been distracted. so, in return, junhui baby talks to your dog constantly and pretends you don't exist until you're laughing and pouting for him to look at you too

hoshi

he's devastated. heart broken. "you love a dog more than you love me????" begrudgingly admits that your doggo is cute but he's still cute too so why don't you coo over him :(( "okay be honest if i were a tiger and not a person would you still love a dog more? yes??? but i'd be a tiger!!"

wonwoo

you purposefully start ignoring him when your dog walks into the living room, but wonwoo just stays completely silent until you finally look up to look at him. he's just smiling at you, so softly, watching you play with your dog. goes "i never knew you had a dog 😊" so sweetly like he didn't even know you were plotting against him bc he just thinks you're so cute

woozi

sits there twiddling his thumbs when you start ignoring him favour of humouring your hyper puppy, but when you smile and apologise for cutting him off he just grins and asks if he can pet your dog too ^^

minghao

he doesn't mind your dog, in fact he loves your dog, but now you've started ignoring him in favour of petting it and so he's a little upset. and petty, so he ends up regaling your dog with his life stories instead of you, and so now he's the one ignoring you in favour of your dog instead

mingyu

you don't have a dog wym it's just him. he's your dog. nonono you don't own an actual puppy, he's your puppy. your dog scratches against the door whining to be let in and join your conversation and he just goes "what dog :|". doesn't let you use your dog as a jealousy ploy bc he is your dog okay

dokyeom

doesn't even care pls bro is ignoring you first. your mother comes back into the house from walking your dog while he's staying over and he immediately has tunnel vision for the adorable little puppy alone. you don't even exist to him anymore, he's just cooing at the adorable puppy for the rest of the time he's there. promises to come back again very soon. for your dog, that is.

seungkwan

gets offended for all of five seconds when you stop talking when your dog comes into the room but then you show him your dog and he's just absolutely enamoured by the adorable puppy, cooing and asking you a million questions ranging from how old your dog is to whether he's allowed to steal it

vernon

you get distracted when your dog starts whining for your attention and stop listening to him talking but he doesn't even care bc he's just smiling and taking a video of you cooing over your puppy bc he's never seen you baby talk anyone or anything like that before and it's adorable

chan

ends up just playing with your dog with you fr. doesn't even register that you ended up ignoring him bc honestly if he was you then he'd definitely also ignore you to play with such a hyper and adorable puppy. you still try to ignore him to make him jealous but it doesn't work bc your dog ends up loving chan more than u so they're both ignoring you instead

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[artiststarme]

Eddie Saves Steve's Birthday

Part 2 of the "The Party Forgets Steve's Birthday" fic! I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Eddie felt awful, in fact, he’d never felt worse. He would rather go back to the Upside Down and get torn into by bats again than have to hear Steve say that the Party only cared about him as the babysitter. He couldn’t think of anyone more deserving of a big birthday celebration than Steve and instead he was working a long shift at Family Video alone without any acknowledgement of his birthday from the kids. It wasn’t fair. 

He used to think Steve had everything. He was the cool jock, rich kid with rich parents, huge house, and tons of friends. Eddie never could have imagined then that Steve was just another lonely kid with absent parents and friends that forgot about his birthday. Even now, they were both part of the same group that had literally risked their lives to save them from the creepy-crawlies in the Upside Down and no one paid enough attention to realize it was Steve’s birthday. 

Just thinking about the defeated look on Steve’s face made Eddie’s heart stutter in grief. He didn’t care what it took, he was going to fix this. But to do that, he was going to need Wayne. 

By the time Eddie got home from his talk with Steve and the minor freakout he had in the back of his van, Wayne was getting ready to leave for work. That just wouldn’t do. So Eddie did the one thing that always worked for him and threw his arms around his uncle in a restrictive embrace. 

“Uncle Wayne, I need your help. It’s absolutely urgent, life-threatening, you could say. I need you and if you don’t help me, I will die.”

Wayne was far too used to his dramatics to fall for that. He patted Eddie’s back before trying to gently pry himself free. “Kid, my shift starts in an hour, I gotta get goin’.”

“No, I’m serious, I really need your help. Everyone forgot Steve’s birthday today! He’s devastated, I’m horrified, Robin is on a date, and the kids are unhelpful! I need you!” Eddie broke out his most potent puppy dog eyes and blinked up at his uncle. 

Wayne sighed. “I’ll tell Craig I have a stomach bug. What do you need me to do?”

“Steve gets off work at ten tonight. I need you to distract him towards the end of his shift and get him to come back here. Kidnap him if you have to, that’s what the Chief does and it always seems to work.”

“Kidnap him? Eds-” Wayne started but Eddie cut him off. 

“Please! I have to steal a camera from Jonathan, break into the Harrington house, and bribe the bakers into giving me a cake. I don’t have time to force Steve to come over too.”

“Now wait a minute, all of that sounds criminal. Eddie-” Wayne sounded the most alarmed that he ever has but Eddie took it in stride. 

“Wayne. He said he hasn’t celebrated his birthday in years, literal years. And considering you have a birthday every year, that’s a lot of birthdays that he’s spent alone. So we have to get him here by any means necessary and show the pretty bastard that we love him. Okay?”

Wayne looked at him for a long time but eventually he gave a little nod. “What time should I head out?”

~*~*~*~

Steve wasn’t used to seeing Wayne around town and he had never once come into Family Video. So when the bell rang and swung open to reveal a stressed Wayne Munson, he didn’t really know what to think. Wayne looked around the store slightly before walking directly up to the counter. 

Steve nodded at him and narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Um hey, Mr. Munson. Welcome to Family Video, how can I help you?”

Wayne scratched a hand through his beard before humming. “You, uh, you have any good recommendations?”

“You want to hear about my recommendations? Really?” Steve looked at him, flabbergasted. No one had ever cared to ask what he watched. 

“‘Course, that’s why I asked. What do you like to watch? Anything good?”

“Have you seen Back to the Future? It was a little hard to understand because he actually goes back to the past and I think he wanted to bang his mom, it was really confusing. It’s a good one but I’m not sure if it’s really good or if I only liked it because I was super high.”

Wayne nodded at him, not even phased at his enthused rambling. “That does sound interestin’. Any other ones?”

“Oh my god, yes! Have you seen Clue? Tim Curry is in that one, he’s the guy from the Rocky Horror Picture Show that has the nice legs. He shows less leg in this one but oh, you should see Miss Scarlet. It’s truly the best of both worlds, Mr. Munson, let me tell you-”

If this was the best his night got on his birthday, Steve would be content. Wayne was listening to him rant about his current favorite movies with rapt attention and kept asking questions in the appropriate places to keep the conversation going. Steve couldn’t even remember the last time someone actually wanted to listen to him talk. The Munsons always managed to surprise him in the best way possible. What could get better than this?

~*~*~*~

With Wayne on Steve Duty, Eddie had more than enough time to coerce Jonathan into letting him borrow a camera, sneak through Loch Nora to collect some of Steve’s favorite tapes, and guilt-trip the bakery ladies into giving him a cake on short notice.  

After assuring Jonathan that he wasn’t trying to record a sex tape with any of his equipment, he lent him a small Polaroid (he didn’t trust the odd request from Eddie so there was no way in hell he was letting him borrow a tape recorder). Eddie didn’t argue though. He just needed something to commemorate Steve’s first birthday in the family and a Polaroid would do just that. 

The trip to the bakery though took longer than anticipated. Florence, the owner of Flo’s Baked Goods, was not in a generous mood at 4 PM on a Tuesday. Luckily, Eddie was known for being very persuasive which worked in his favor. 

“Florence, come on. Do me a favor, please?” He asked with his most woeful puppy dog eyes.  

“Edward, I told you already, you need to place an order ahead of time.”

“Florence, my dear, I didn’t anticipate my grandma to die! I didn’t have time to place an order and I need a cake for her funeral tonight. Please Flo? For me?” His lip wobbled slightly as if tears were close to follow. He needed to pull out all of his stops to get that cake. 

She sighed in exasperation. “I can give you a small one, alright? And you’re not getting extras, I actually have orders to work on.”

“That’s okay! Thanks Flo, I appreciate it and so will St- my dead grandmother. May she rest in peace.”

That worked out great! Sure, Eddie had to make an extra stop at the grocery store for some red frosting to write Steve’s name on it but the smile on his face would be well worth it. Or rather a pitying grimace. 

Unfortunately, Eddie was not a baker or a designer by any means. So the red lettering on the cake turned into a drippy mess that looked more like a crime scene than a birthday cake. He also didn’t have great space management. Instead of making the font smaller to fit on the cake, Eddie largely wrote “BIRTH STEVE” and couldn’t fit anything else. Eager to make the best of the situation, he threw some colorful sprinkles on there to liven things up. Ah, Steve would love it. 

The situation only got more complicated when he went to pick up Steve’s favorite movies from his house. Eddie parked his van in the driveway and picked the lock to the front door. Steve was at work, his parents weren’t home (not that they would have let him in if they were), and the emergency key under the doormat wasn’t there so he had to take drastic measures. 

He grabbed a few of the movies in Steve’s room that he knew were his favorite that he didn’t have at the trailer. Fast Times, Back to the Future, Clue, The Breakfast Club, Teen Wolf, basically everything that Eddie hated but he was willing to watch anything for Steve. He grabbed a few cassettes too in case they decided to listen to music instead. All of the tapes were disappointingly mediocre and Eddie made a mental note to introduce him to some real music. After that, Steve would never listen to fucking Tears for Fears ever again. Or Wham!, the bane of his existence. 

What Eddie had neglected to consider was how the nosey neighbors would react to seeing a random van in the Harrington driveway and a random kid messing with the front door. He should’ve expected the cops to come. He opened the front door to the barrel of Hopper’s gun.

“Son of a bitch, Chief! What the hell are you waving that around for?!” Eddie exclaimed, dropping his small duffel bag and throwing his hands in the air. 

“What the hell? Munson?” Admittedly, Hopper had shown up at a bad time. Eddie was lugging a duffel bag out of the Harrington house to his hastily parked van in a neighborhood he definitely didn’t belong in.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he told him quickly. 

“It looks like you’re robbing the Harrington’s place,” Hopper said deadpan.

“Well, I’m not!”

“What are you doing then?” Hopper asked him sarcastically. 

“I’m not robbing him! I’m trying to save Steve’s birthday. I was just getting some supplies.” Eddie explained hurriedly.

“It’s Steve’s birthday today?”

“Yep and he’s going to be pissed if he has to come bail me out of jail because you arrested me. Think about that,” Eddie said, pointing an accusing finger at him. Wayne and Steve would both be pissed if he got arrested again. 

“That doesn’t explain why you’re stealing his stuff,” Hopper stated in confusion.  

“I’m throwing him a little party back at my place, we’re having a movie night so I had to get his favorite movies. I don’t have this teen drama shit. But Steve does and I’m trying to give him a nice night.”

Hopper just looked at him blankly.

“So can I go? I know you don’t want to break Stevie’s heart by arresting me on his birthday and don’t you want to get home to your family this lovely Tuesday evening? Who needs the extra hassle of detaining little ole me?”

“Goddammit Munson, just get out of here. You’re making the neighbors antsy. And don’t do this again.” Hopper warned him before walking over to his cruiser. 

“Copy that, Chief! Keep protecting the people or whatever the fuck your pledge is. Have a nice night!” And then he was off again. 

~*~*~*~

Steve must’ve talked about his favorite movies for hours before he realized it was time to close and Wayne was still there. “Um, Mr. Munson? I’m sorry, you probably had things to do today and I wasted all your time ranting at you. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be, kid. It was nice hearing from you. Say, I’m sure Eddie would want to hear about some of those movies too. Could you come over tonight and tell us some more about ‘em?” Wayne offered. 

Steve could tell a pity offer when he saw one though. “No, that’s okay. I can tell him another time. I have to start closing if you want me to check you out?”

Wayne sighed and made direct eye contact with him. “Listen kid, I know today’s your birthday and you aren’t spending it alone. So, you can either follow me back to the trailer or I’m gonna kidnap you and drag you there. You got me?”

Steve just looked at him in shock. What was up with older father figures trying to kidnap him? Was there something on his face that told them, ‘hey, I’m a good target for kidnapping, take me’? Was Wayne in kahoots with Hopper because this trend was getting a bit ridiculous.

“Wayne-”

“Nope, Eddie wants you there and I want you there. What are you going to do instead? If you have a good excuse, I’ll leave right now and break that boy’s heart.” Wayne looked at him expectantly. When it became apparent that Steve wasn’t going to say anything, he nodded. “Good, I’ll see you at the trailer. Drive safe.”

What the hell? Was that how age twenty was going to be? Confusing and full of ups and downs? Jesus Christ. 

Steve finished closing the store quickly and made his way to Forest Hills. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on today but if they wanted to spend time with him, he wasn’t going to turn them down. The Munsons were some of his most favorite people and it’s not like there was a long list of people that wanted him around. 

As soon as he opened the door to the trailer, everything made a little bit more sense. There were party streamers hanging from the walls, the most gruesome cake he had ever seen sitting on the table, and birthday hats on top of a beaming Eddie and an indifferent Wayne. Tears filled Steve’s eyes as he laughed. He couldn’t believe that they’d done all of that for him.

“Happy birthday, Stevie! I love you!” Eddie yelled, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips and pulling him into a bruising hug. 

Wayne patted his shoulder a bit awkwardly and murmured, “I love you too kid but I ain’t kissin’ ya.”

Steve could hardly even speak through the rush of happiness he was feeling. Eddie had found a way to make his birthday special again. He’d cared enough to spend his day organizing a nice night for Steve to feel loved again, to feel happy on his special day. Sure, not everything was fixed and there was still a small amount of hurt that the kids and Robin hadn’t done anything. But he had Eddie and Wayne and they were all he really needed. He finally had a family and he couldn’t be any happier. Eddie was right, ‘86 truly was a great year. 

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[balkanradfem]

The story of a broken christmas toilet

So the first thing that happened to me on the christmas morning, is I went to the bathroom, and toilet didn't work - no water. Weirded out by this, I opened up the water tank, and the water poured in as soon as I messed with the floatie. I thought this fixed it, only to realize minutes later, that the toilet is now leaking water.

I've never fixed the toilet before, especially not a leaking one, opening up the tank and peering inside was the height of my knowledge. But, I was ready to figure it out. I tried to mess with the parts that were leaking and make them tighter, only to immediately make it leak worse. Panicked, I quickly found the valve that shuts down the water in the bathroom. Now the toilet doesn't leak, but I also can't use the shower or the basin.

Looking at more youtube videos, I concluded that the valve that lets water into the tank, has loosened and broken inside, and there was no fixing it, I'd have to buy a spare part. But as it was christmas, all stores were closed, and would be closed for tomorrow as well.

I had some wrenches I acquired while fixing my own bike, and none of them were big enough to dismantle the tank, but comparing the size, I could tell which sizes I did need. I would ask a friend if she could lend me the right tools, but as my friend wouldn't be visiting for a few days, I had to make do with a non-functional bathroom.

Luckily I love the old methods of washing - using a sponge to bubble up and then pouring heated water from a jug to rinse, that is a very gentle way to experience warm water. I would sometimes wash that way just to not have to use the boiler - because it's a great energy saver.

Anyway, my friend brought the tools to me, and I set on to dismantle the tank. She stood outside the bathroom saying 'I don't know anything about toilets', too intimidated to join in. But I wasn't having it, I called her in to look because, armed with my youtube knowledge, I recognized the broken part, and now knew for sure what I had to replace.

That afternoon, I headed to a hardware store, and since it way my first time there, I asked an employee if he could get me that exact part - I had the original with me. He told me they were 'all the same' and handed me the cheapest one. I pointed out it was important for the brass part to be the same width - and he said it was.

So I bought it, and upon installing it in my toilet, the toilet was now leaking from the outside, where the new part was fixed into the wall pipe. I got confused, dismantled it and put it back together a few times, but nothing worked, it only leaked worse each and every time. Devastated, I went to check how others were doing it, and if I maybe lost a part, or forgot to do something, or had to play with the pressure more, or maybe my arms weren't strong enough. But every other person was fastening it in the exact same way, I wasn't doing anything wrong.

I dismantled the thing again, and compared the new and the original part. The metal part that goes into the wall pipe seemed the same width, and I had to stare really long to notice, but there was the tiniest, millimeter difference in how big the waves in it were. Pissed, I went back to the store, to ask the employee if they had any correct replacement parts, and he had absolutely no idea, so I asked him to unpack multiple ones until I found the exact same size I was looking for. I had to go through the lengthy and annoying process of exchanging the part, but once I got home, I put it together in 20 seconds.

And it worked. My toilet works again. I can now fix toilets. Self-assigned plumber.

I had to do a lot of following my instincts and believing that I can notice what is wrong, and when someone who is supposed to be more expert than me, is giving me false info. Most of this was just about confidence! It is absolutely no-brainer to fasten one pipe to the other if they're the correct size, any kid could do it if shown even once.

If I can do this, even without prior knowledge or tools, with other people giving me negative amounts of help, then anyone can! Any house-repair we usually think m*n can do, are just putting puzzles together, created to be simple and intuitive, and we are very well equipped for it, all it takes is confidence and curiosity in how it works.

[sweetlike-h0ney17]

An open letter to @tiredandlonelymuse

Dear Ash,

Let me first begin by saying I love you and I’m sorry. Like many of your fans, I’ve been trying to find the words to articulate how devastated I am to learn of the intense feelings of loneliness, betrayal, and heartbreak that you’ve shared with us. It wouldn’t be right for me to claim I know exactly how you feel, because I can only imagine the pressure you’ve been under, especially these past two years as you’ve had to navigate your career and life-altering health battles. But one thing I can say without a doubt in my mind is that even if it might not feel this way now, there are millions of people who are cheering you on, praying for you, sending you wishes of good health and happiness, and wanting to see you thrive. Life has thrown you the most grueling and incredibly unfair obstacles, yet you still remain a beacon of hope for so many of us.

If you decide that his era is truly the end because it’s something you don’t love anymore, don’t have the energy for, etc. I understand. I can only imagine the physical and emotional toll that fame takes on a person. And I will hold close with me forever the memories of all the good times, the interactions that show how much you truly care about your fans, and the life lessons you’ve taught me. I have cautiously reminded myself for years now that what you have built won’t last forever, but the thought of it being cut short because of other people’s cruelty, unkindness, and lack of empathy absolutely guts me. The people who truly care about you always will — it’s not conditional. I know the weeds feel like they are all-consuming, but they are few and far between fields of flowers that extend for miles and miles.

It would be unfair of me to ask you to keep going for the sake of your fans — like you have pointed out, you are a real person with real feelings, not a character in a music video. Instead I’m here to reach out a hand and remind you that you are not alone in this. We have gone through many battles together, and this may be the toughest one yet, but your support system is here to catch you when you fall. Uplift you on the good days and the bad days. Cherish your art and remind you why you so graciously continue to share it with us. I could go on and on about the ways in which you have instilled strength in me over the years, as I’m sure millions more could too. All the letters we’ve written, the concerts we’ve attended — all because we know that you are made of some kind of stardust, and your presence in this world has meaning; the lives you have touched are forever changed for the better.

If you read this, let it be a reminder of how loved you are. I speak for myself and countless others when I tell you that I’m here to stay and have no plans on going anywhere. Because the bond you have curated in this community is unbreakable. As we approach this new era, I hope you don’t ever, ever forget how proud I am of you.

With all the love and gratitude in the world,

Lelia 💜

[heavenlycloud]

dream a little dream: yunjin x fem! reader ✧°🍒‧｡°

request: hi! It says that soft hours are open and I just had a thought from watching the LE SSERAFIM x Dream Academy Video where the fimmies surprised the contestants. Imagine being the 6th member of LE SSERAFIM and being in a relationship with yunjin and you both are smiling happily and holding hands while greeting the contestants, and then once you all leave some of the contestants are like “omg the way they look at each other, they’re definitely dating” or something of that sort LOL 🩷

a/n: ok so funny story i read this and then wrote it all whilst being sleep deprived and slightly delirious…so i lowkey mixed up the details but i can go back and rewrite it if you’re not satisfied (this is why i need sleep and why i need to stop trying to write from memory cuz i can’t do it).

Becoming an idol had been your dream since you were 14 years old as a freshman in high school. one of your friends showed you their favorite girl groups and you were immediately sucked into the world of kpop. as you went through high school and entered university your hope of making your dream come true slowly dwindled. companies were starting to debut girls younger and younger which you didn’t think gave you much of a chance at 18 years old. that was until you got an email from someone about submitting an audition for a new girl group that would form under HYBE in the next year. at first you thought it was a scam, but after doing a deep dive on the internet you realized it was more real than fake. you submitted the audition with little hope knowing that you’d practically ‘aged out’ of the trainee age range, on top of the fact that you hadn’t been singing or dancing since infancy like every idol seemed to have done. so it was a huge surprise when you got an email back 8 weeks later confirming that you passed the audition. by some miracle you’d convinced your parents to let you go to Korea to become a trainee under HYBE with the hopes of debut. truthfully, they only said yes knowing that you’d probably be sent back home after 6 months…and your university credits were valid for the next 10 years so you could pick up where you left off. 

Much like your parents assumed, you were sent back home, but instead of after 6 months, it was after 2 years. you gave everything you could to the trainee program but in the end you didn’t make the final cut due to “not having the look the group needed”. you were heartbroken to leave your new friends, the seven girls who were supposed to make HYBE’s new girl group. the three younger girls that had become like your little sisters, the two older girls that were like your older sisters, and the one same aged girl who was your best friend…maybe a little more. on your last day in the company you laughed while saying your final goodbyes, clinging onto your girls in a huddle as you tried to have a positive outlook on a shitty situation. when you got back home you were devastated to say the least. for the first few weeks you only cried and wished things had worked in your favor, until one day you refused to wallow in your sorrows any longer. 

you made a promise that you’d see them again, that you’d see her again and laying around crying all day wasn’t going to make that happen. so, you began practicing again using the techniques and lessons you’d learned over your 2 year long trainee experience. when the audition announcement came out this time around you didn’t hesitate to apply to the same company that let you go a year ago. given how hard you worked, it was absolutely no surprise when you found out HYBE wanted you back in their trainee program. at this point your parents didn’t bother refusing once again knowing university would be there if you ended up coming back home again. however, with the way you’d been training yourself it wasn’t looking like that would be an option. honestly you didn’t know if your driving force was to prove to yourself or to the people that sent you home that you had what it takes, but regardless you were ready this time. by the end of the first mission it was clear to the judges, trainers, and other contestants that you were certainly a force to be reckoned with. you’d only ever heard praises and slight critiques that could be fixed immediately from your trainers and judges. 

the eighteen of you all filed into the practice room and filled the seats as you sat in front of the screen that was presumably going to show your second mission. you sat between lara and sophia holding both of their hands as you anxiously watched the screen in front of you. their grips on your hand tightened when they saw the members of le sserafim appear, reacting to the Dream Academy trailer. squeals and screams filled the room as everyone shared their shock but you only laughed, finding it funny that this was the way they were seeing you again for the first time since you left. lara shook your hand and told you, “i swear if we ever meet them, i’m asking them to dance fearless with you.” a bunch of the other girls around you oohed and agreed before putting their attention back on the monitor. at some point you completely zoned out, only coming back to when you heard eunchae say, “the second ANTIFRAGILE team members are “Iliya, Karlee, Samara, Megan, and Y/N.” you leaned forward and looked at them with a big smile, nodding in agreement over your excitement to be teamed together. 

the five of you sat on the floor of the practice room and started talking about the song choice, karlee starting off with explaining how she wanted this song more. you all nodded in agreement and the other girls chimed in talking about their worries and what they were most excited for. after a moment the conversation stopped and all eyes were on you, “what?” your teammates laughed at you and you admitted, “i mean like…i’m not that nervous guys. i’ve done this performance in the shower a bunch so i meannnn…plus if i flop yunjin called me pretty so-” the girls around you fell over laughing and karlee pointed out, “dude she literally knows you.” in return you playfully glared and held your hand out, “can you let me have my moment?” megan and samara laughed even harder while iliya covered her face though her giggles. you all divided up your parts evenly, you getting kazhua’s part because of the leg extension, and megan insisting yours looked better when you couldn’t tell much of a difference. 

Throughout the practices you were given the dance leadership role which you tried to avoid but it was inevitable given your trainee history. there were little to no breaks, an incredible amount of jet lag, and a time crunch of only a few days before your performance. the pressure was certainly there and you could feel it especially with the weight of being an ex- HYBE trainee and the leader of your group. hours passed with you all in the practice room, your trainer comforting iliya as she cried out of stress and exhaustion combined with her own self doubt. you patted her shoulder and told her, “it’s okay…i cried yesterday in the shower and almost drowned in my tears and the shower water because i breathed through my nose.” the younger girl couldn’t help but laugh and you did too seeing the smile return to her face. 

*meanwhile*

“We’re watching them react to us watching their trailer and mission announcement.” chaewon and yunjin explained to their members in their van. the girls huddled around the ipad and a smile tugged at all of their faces when they saw you amongst your teammates. they watched closely, listening to all of your members speak their worries until it was your turn to talk which caused all of them to laugh, especially your banter with karlee. yunjin murmured, “i didn’t know i missed her this much.” chaewon side eyed her discreetly while eunchae and kazuha stifled a laugh. they then sent chaewon inside the practice room to pose as a staff member to record a tiktok for you and the rest of the contestants. when you all were in line you noticed how she was more covered than the rest of the staff members in the room. you narrowed your eyes, and then it was your turn aside Manon. when you made it to the front you just knew, but you only smiled and danced, the only person who also knew was chaewon herself when you winked. 

chaewon pulled off her mask and hood, “surprise!” the other girls screamed in excitement, only getting louder when the other idols walked in soon after. you ended up with marquise clinging to your side with her hands over her face. yunjin then started speaking in english, “we heard you all were practicing our songs right?” they all nodded and she added, “we’re so excited to see you guys, it’s crazy that we’re meeting you in this practice room. yunjin asked the contestants, “did you all expect it?” the girls overlapped one another with refusing responses to which the black haired girl responded, “we thought it’d be obvious…so we were like we should prank you.” the girls once again reacted with laughing and squeals which yunjin took the opportunity to make louder, “wait i think i know all of your names though.” 

Everyone straightened out into a more clear line and yunjin looked down the line and asked, “Iliya, right?” your teammate nodded and yunjin continued, “and Ezrela. Sophia, Emily, Celeste, Karlee, Marquise, Y/N-” there was a difference in her tone when she said your name, a different smile on her face, until you deadpanned, “No.” there was a second of complete silence before you burst out laughing and said, “no i’m kidding i’m sorry. do your thing.” yunjin and her members all laughed too, chaewon immediately mimicking you quietly, “no.” the black haired girl then said, “she always does this.” your teammates all laughed and nodded in agreement earning a satisfied smile from you. yunjin continued, “sorry ok- um Y/N, Megan, Brooklyn, Lara, Lexie, Samara, Daniela, Manon, Mei, aaaand Ua. Aaaand Nayoung, Yoonchae. Right?”   everyone cheered and clapped and she explained, “because i see you guys so much on like TikTok, YouTube, and everything!” you all turned into each other giggling and smiling until it was time to perform for the girls with your mission teams. 

Your team went first, you gathering your girls into a small huddle and telling them quietly, “just relax. we got this. alright come on, eat it up?” your teammates said in unison, “no dinner!” you laughed at the phrase you taught them on the first day, still using it now. while performing you had your nerves, especially knowing that the idols in front of you had seen your practice videos, one of which included you crying, something they’d never seen in the two years they knew you. while performing you kept your eyes on your old friends, primarily the one who still held a piece of your heart. the hours of practicing and endless stretching to get kazuha’s leg extension perfect paid off when you saw the look on all five of their faces when you did the move. 

Iliya stood beside you as you were between her and samara while le sserafim gave you all feedback as two teams. chaewon pointed out samara, praising her for the eye contact she made opposed to looking into the mirror, a common mistake amongst trainees during evaluations. kazuha looked at you and said, “y/n, your leg extension was so good! honestly you could just take my place next time we perform because you were that good.” you laughed and thanked her, sending a fond smile her way, the same one that always brought her comfort after long practices. samara tickled your leg and you playfully swatted her hand away, making her giggle quietly. when you thought one of the girls would now talk to the two teams as a whole, yunjin turned her attention to you. yunjin looked you dead in the eye, pulling a smile onto your previously stoic face. she told you, “y/n. i know from the practice videos you were worried about being leader, looking at everything to the smallest detail. but everything you did for your teammates paid off because you’re perfe- your team was perfect.” everyone in the room ouuuuu-ed which made you cover your face in slight embarrassment, yunjin doing the same. she then added, “and karlee i know you weren’t feeling well but you literally killed it…and team A, you guys chose your name right because you slayed.” the four girls burst into laughter and you all thanked the girls for their feedback before heading back to your seats, not before you sent a wink yunjin’s way which she instinctively made a heart with her hands back to you. when you sat back down you were sandwiched between lara and megan, both of whom whispered together, “you’re perfecttttt” then made the same hearts with their hands to you that yunjin did. you playfully scoffed and hoped they couldn’t feel your body getting hot with embarrassment as they teased you. 

after everyone finished their performances you all had the chance to ask the girls for anything you wanted to know. you were the first to raise your hand, “i think a big worry of us, as in all 19 of us is that we are now in a place where this is competition. all of us want to do well individually but even more than that we want one another to succeed so we can make it to the end together. it’s a given that the group won’t be 19 members. so knowing that eventually we will be sending home many of our best friends, sisters, soulmates… or whatever- like what can we do or tell ourselves so we don’t end up just dwelling on that fact? how can we keep going after dealing with that over and over?”  yunjin nodded in understanding and responded genuinely,  “wow that is a big question. there is like a motto that i live by where i just try my best to believe that everything happens for a reason. you all met for a reason, and you’re together for a reason…and i think goodbyes are unfortunately inevitable-” it was at this point that you realized she was staring directly at you. yunjin caught herself staring and looked away as she continued, “ but i think that is part of growing. and just the fact that you all collectively have this kind of worry is very touching and i kind of like teared up a little inside because it’s very hard to meet people who both support you while also maintaining your own individual driving force. i think it’s just kind of making every experience and opportunity…it’s important to continue rooting each other on. i think that’s the best way to keep going forward just knowing you know-” again her eyes found yours, “just knowing that even if you’re not together one day you will end up seeing each other again.” now there was a smile on her face as she looked at you, looking away to make it less obvious, “that’s what happened to me actually. I had practiced for quite a few years but after debuting and working my best in the end we came full circle and they were also doing their best so in the end we met.” she looked back at only you, “just take this time and make as many memories and relationships as you can. don’t be afraid of the pain that comes with having to let someone go because you can use that to get to where you want to be.” she paused then spoke as if you were the only other one in the room, “because look where we are now y/n.” you nodded and the four idols around yunjin ouuuu-ed making the rest of the contestants giggle. eunchae quietly remarked, “this just got really personal…” everyone laughed as yunjin slapped her leg lightly and brooklyn beside you started poking your side. 

a few seats down from you sophia spoke up, “i should have went before y/n because my question is gonna sound unserious…chaewon, how do you like blink on the beat in Antifragile because every time i do it i look like i got a bug in my eye?” everyone erupted into laughter and sophia added, “i’m so serious guys i look so dumb doing it!” which only made everyone laugh harder. chaewon stood up and danced the specific part before motioning for sophia do to it with her, then by herself. the idol praised your friend, “yes! you got it!” everyone clapped and sophia ran happily back to her seat with her face a light shade of pink. ezrela raised her hand, “so in your choreographies you all do a lot of like hand holding, and so like…how do you all not miss each others hands?” the idols in front of you all laughed and eunchae explained, we just have to trust each other like you go up i go down. we talk about it like that in advance and you have to hold the hands tight. even if one hand slips off, the others should hold them tight to prevent the accident.” ezrela nodded in understanding and laughed while thanking eunchae for her reply. 

right when you thought everyone was going to be done asking questions, lara raised her hand, “i have a request but you all can say no.” all five idols looked at her intently and your friend asked, “can you dance to fearless with y/n?” all of your teammates immediately cheered and your old friends looked at each other with smiles. they agreed and despite you refusing, yunjin stood up and pulled you over, engulfing you in a hug first. kazuha took off her heels and joined you her members on the floor. your friends were all giggling along, especially when they noticed yunjin had her hand slipped into yours, fingers intertwined. meanwhile the idols looked at you and you asked, “second chorus to the end? the debut formations?” they nodded and chaewon said, “from 겁이 난 없지, 없지” you nodded and found your place and let the music play. from this part of the song you were in the center, a smile on your face nobody had seen on you thus far. during the refrain everyone of your teammates saw the way yunjin looked up at you while she faced them, like you were the only girl in the world. the six of you danced to the end and when the song stopped everyone clapped and the five girls pulled you into a long and tight hug. when you all parted each of them hugged you individually, sakura first. 

the eldest told you with a fond smile, “i’m so proud of you y/n. i can’t wait for your debut.” kazuha spoke up next, “i’m wishing for your debut, unnie.” chaewon squeezed you tightly, “i’m so happy to know you didn’t give up. i’m so proud of you y/n.” eunchae pulled you into a hug, “i missed you so much unnie. i’m happy we got to see each other like this.” yunjin was last, and she mumbled into your shoulder, “come see me tonight?” you murmured back quietly, “mhm.” she grinned as she pulled away while you tried to hide the look of joy from your face. everyone thanked le sserafim and said their goodbyes before you all got a quick break, mostly for cameras to be moved and reset. the second you were alone with manon, your closest friend, she asked all knowing, “so when are you seeing her?” you tried to play it off but she knew you too well already, so you caved, “tonight.”