#when i mentioned to my friend how good i think brennan is at playing mean girls in general she went

[dramaqueer-commie]

im so glad the intrepid heroes addressed the fact that Kalina is a hot villain bc omg

idk what it is about these sassy mean girl villains but Kalina and Aelwyn Abernant have a special place in my heart

the scene in hell where Riz is taking every precaution and Kalina goes "man, kid. i got you rattled!" *chefs kiss*

its so cool, a villain going "are you scared of me? why are you so scared? anyway, im gonna kill you"

shes just so *evil* and enjoys it so much and thats absolutely perfect

and Aelwyn is the same, she *loves* being mean and sarcastic and doing fucked up and ill-advised shit. and she still loves being evil even when shes not evil anymore. thats just her personal spark

there are a lot of hot women villains but so many of them are so obviously made to be hot to men, and in a way thats not *really* threatening bc shes a woman. we need more of *this* kind! just really, really evil women, that are hot bc of it

acoc spoiler:

and i just realized Calroy Cruller falls into that same category too. like the scene where he stabs Amathar is absolutely heartbreaking and hurt my soul, but it was just *so* perfect! like OF COURSE this guy thats so kind and helpful and the Kings closest friend is a traitor. its just so perfectly EvilTM and i think thats just it

honorary mention of the amazing improv that goes into all of these characters. like when Kristen scratches Kalina and she goes "can I scratch you? I have before..." absolutely perfect timing and.... yeah, i love hating her

[utilitycaster]

oh PLEASE elaborate on your thoughts about why people say Brenann's hogging the spotlight after you're back from work 👀

This is actually a very long answer, because morning me is someone with the bright sun shining behind her and a full cup or four of coffee who does not think of the consequences of her actions, so it's below a cut.

I think the first reason is something best described as cultural but in a very specific way. Like...the bulk of actual players we talk about are people who have, just by default, spent a lot of time in a handful of cities in the US where there's a significant entertainment industry presence, and for D20 they've specifically been comedians. I say this to set a particular scene: I almost never get it when people think the cast of an actual play show is angry at each other, or that people are being too pushy or that the humor is off. I suspect this might be cultural; I am from the urban Northeastern US and my mom grew up in Los Angeles and I have three siblings, and so a lot of what people clock as aggression or unkindness reads to me as simply banter or straightforwardness or decisiveness, all of which I see as very positive things. I mean obviously there is a such thing as inappropriate humor, bigotry and jokes at the expense of other groups and so forth, but most of what I see in actual play I watch/listen to is just, as NADDPod puts it, taking your friends to the raspberry patch. It's good-humored teasing. Anyway I think Brennan is very willing to engage with that banter and that decisiveness (and like, he spent a lot of formative time in New York City which I'm sure is an influence) and I think that reads to people who are uncomfortable with it as aggression.

Someone who took more linguistic anthropology or sociology than I could probably explain this better but it's just like...as a person I find the rapid-fire and heated but good natured heckling on D20, or Sam's satirical ad reads, or bold moves in any D&D game, or the arguments on NADDPod D&D court to be very normal and enjoyable, and I find hesitation and hedging and uncertainty and "are you sure?" and endless check-ins to be very negative and anxiety-inducing and draining.

With that said I don't think Brennan is particularly egregious (Evan Kelmp is the one case where I think this is a valid criticism, but even then I didn't find him an ungenerous player, merely one who by design was going to occupy a certain position) so I think that brings me to the really delicate part of this conversation.

I've mentioned this in the past but I think a lot of the actual play fandom on Tumblr suffers pretty severely from what's been labeled "the soft bigotry of low expectations." I've been vocal quite specifically when it comes to misogyny and how the agency of the women of the cast is treated as true only when convenient, because I feel that as a woman I'm able to actually speak on those terms, but I think it's true across the board. Essentially, this means that the bar is (often unconsciously) set lower, or people overly applaud, to a perhaps even condescending degree, people from minority or underrepresented groups. It is not, to be clear, having DEI programs or helping people be in something (in this case...popular actual play) in the first place and acknowledging structural inequalities that might make the path more difficult; it's instead assuming that once they get there they'll never be quite as good, or being surprised when they are. I think the most classic example is the overuse of the word "eloquent" to describe Black speakers, as it often comes with this connotation that being well-spoken is something the person providing the compliment didn't expect. You know, if you're an adult with no significant cognitive or physical disabilities and someone compliments you for tying your shoes, it's pretty fucking insulting. That's what we're talking about here.

The way this manifests in the fandom is that there's really no room to provide criticisms that are not motivated by bigotry. I'm a critic by nature, and there's a general veneer of obnoxious insistence on positivity across the board in this and many fandoms, but, as I've said many times before (and to be fair it's getting better) the pushback people receive for completely valid criticisms of Marisha is intense. I've mentioned that I've had issues with story pacing for Brennan, Matt, and Aabria as DMs at different points, and the backlash for Aabria was the strongest even though the criticism was by no means the harshest. There is a certain degree of nonstop fawning that at times occurs that doesn't actually permit engaging with characters or discussing the actual strengths of the actors, and which often wraps around into something insulting; see the "Emily, breaker of DMs" nonsense that's finally getting called out. Because it's not a compliment! Part of why Emily is such a good player is that she is immensely collaborative and makes characters who will help with party composition, and she self-identifies as a big fan of DMs, and treating her (or like, anyone) as a perfect force of nature rather than a thinking person who makes decisions, some of which are good and some of which are bad, is not praise! It's not praise to exclude someone from valid criticism; it's treating them as lesser, to do so.

For a number of reasons I am a person who is not generally stopped by this, but a lot of people understandably aren't, or are deterred even by that more general need for nothing but praise...except constant praise starts to become meaningless, and more importantly, people sometimes have negative feelings about a show! Maybe a character they liked died, or their predictions didn't come true, or their ship didn't happen, or they're just not very interested in a specific plot. But it's impossible to actually pick apart what isn't working for them, because there's this environment where, if you start asking questions, the answer might be "I don't like the choice a player who is a woman, or nonwhite, or queer, made, and how it weighs upon the story." And so, and this is where I am treading so lightly, I don't think the issue in the fandom or TTRPG is "oh the poor straight white men in D&D", because that's obviously fucking ridiculous, but I do think that if you block off any criticism of anyone else, it lands somewhere, and it's often not actually justified.

The example I actually have in mind more often is Sam Riegel. I've made some pretty harsh criticism of Sam and some of his characters in the past, but it has always been very much about his choices. But every single time I've gotten some weird (and uh...very uncomfortable, frankly) venting about Sam's sense of humor. I have never really focused on his sense of humor as the problem. I like it. I find it extremely relatable. At the risk of using the bigotry script again, Sam is, in fact, of the same ethnicity and region of the US as I am (ie, northeast US Ashkenazi Jewish) and when people act like his humor is discomfiting it's like a neon sign that to me reads "I HAVE NEVER MET SOMEONE FROM YOUR CULTURE," which on the one hand, not necessarily their fault, but on the other, does not feel great to have someone on anon venting to you while this sign is staring you in the face.

But that is a different point - my point is that I feel like there's this...seething magma of discontent sometimes, that has built up because there is an attitude that criticism is to be avoided at nearly all costs. And when it must be vented, there are only a small handful of acceptable targets (ie, the cis straight white men, although among the CR and D20 casts, Taliesin and Zac both get a decent amount of this despite Taliesin not being straight and Zac not being white), so the criticisms that come out are often excessive for the infraction (Brennan, a famously wordy guy playing a literal college of eloquence bard, turns into "Brennan is a spotlight hog" despite him being a player who is enthusiastically yes-anding everyone at the table), flat-out misdirected (my criticisms of Sam's mechanics are treated as an invitation to talk about a dislike of Sam's jokes) or just straight up bile (I am quite frankly never forgetting the somehow popular post that said Travis was too stupid to play a druid; it really was a breaking point where I said oh this positivity is all fake as hell, huh.) And eventually these criticisms become the "safe" and "accepted" ones in the fandom. Which is also bad because like, at this point, those three examples are to me just signals of someone saying "I'm not happy but it might not necessarily be at all related to this." And it is possible that someone might genuinely not enjoy Sam's sense of humor, or think Brennan is hogging the spotlight (though I disagree), but I struggle to believe them because these are just the well-worn codes, devoid of their actual meaning. I also think it's notable these all squarely blame people and not just like, "I don't vibe with this choice and no one is specifically at fault" but that's also a whole other post.

This is of course not to say that there isn't also actual bigotry within the fandom; looking at that person who freaked out about Utkarsh wearing a sweatshirt and not having an encyclopedic knowledge of the divine soul sorcerer class, or the person who called Deni$e unpleasant and abusive in the main tag, rather than simply saying their characters were not for them. Nor does it mean that you can't have criticisms of Brennan, or any of the many white guys in Actual Play, because my point is that thoughtful criticism based on what's onscreen is what I live for, and no one is exempt. But I think most if not all people saying this about Brennan are mad about something else in the Ravening War.

[elijahkelly]

6/30/2023

I don’t know.

It’s been 3 days since I took my Prozac and I’m starting to be able to tell.  Champagne (my cat) was scratching at my door and it made me mad so I threw my tv remote across the room.  I regretted it as soon as the remote left my fingers.  Thankfully it just hit the wall, but I was embarrassed that I got so angry.

Dylan.  Where do I start?  I guess I’ll start by saying this.

I’m scared to admit that it feels like there are cracks in our relationship, because it feels like once you acknowledge those cracks, that’s when everything collapses.  But I’m seeing the cracks.  And they’re fissuring.

Dylan has lost trust in me.  He’s constantly on my case about what I’m doing on my phone, who I’m talking to, etc.  He sees a name on my phone that he doesn’t recognize and suddenly I’m being bombarded about who it is and where they’re from.  He makes jokes about me having hoes in my phone, despite how much I tell him it makes me uncomfortable.

Dylan literally went from wanting to propose to me in LA to going through my phone while I’m sleeping and running background checks on everyone I talk to.  What’s going on?

Before I talk about this next part, I need to give some backstory about a character.  His name is Brennan.  Brennan is a fellow gay, and he got a job at Sanderson a few months after I did.  He worked the front desk with me and Dylan, and over that time, he and Dylan became friends.  His abrasive personality and crude humor wasn’t appealing to me, so we’re “friends” I guess? But not as close as he and Dylan are.  Eventually, Brennan quit his job at the front desk and transitioned over to working in our fitness department as a spin instructor.  Dylan trained him to teach spin, and he went on to become Dylan’s boss in the department, which gave them something else to bond over.  During shifts where I was the manager on duty and Dylan was working with me, Brennan would come up to the front desk to bother us.  By “bother us,” I mean he would come over and talk to Dylan, mess around with Dylan, make jokes with Dylan, beat up on Dylan, make tiktoks with Dylan, you name it.  All while I’m sitting there, just watching.  I’ve told Dylan on multiple occasions that I am not Brennan’s biggest fan, but for some reason Dylan keeps him around.

Last night.  Dylan and I went with some friends to a bingo night hosted by Trinity Devine, a drag queen and friend of ours.  While we were there, Brennan showed up.  He was already pretty drunk, and he brought the guy he had been seeing.  He came and said hi to everyone at our table, of course not forgetting to give Dylan a big hug.  Then he got around to me and I was waiting on him to say hi to me, when he goes “are you just gonna pretend you don’t like me, Eli?”  I really wanted to tell him I’m not pretending, but I just played it off.  Anyways, throughout the night, he progressively got more drunk.  He kept coming up and hugging on Dylan, play wrestling with him, tickling him, etc.  All while I’m sitting right there and the guy he brought was at the next table over.  I made eye contact with Sav and she just widened her eyes at me, kinda like a “what the fuck is going on” look.  It was uncomfortable.

I don’t know what’s going on with me and Dylan.  I don’t know why we’re suddenly so hellbent on hurting each other.  I want to go back to when we were good and everything felt okay.  Because this does not feel okay.

Hopefully things will change soon.  Dylan got a GA position for Housing, and this position requires him to stay in a building on campus.  So in a couple weeks, he’ll be moving out of my apartment.  It’ll be sad not seeing him all the time, but I think that’s why we’ve been so toxic to one another.  Not to mention he will also have to leave his job at Sanderson, so we won’t work together anymore either.  Having some time apart will be much needed.  Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Let me set this straight.  I love Dylan with my entire capacity.  Nothing in this goddamn world is gonna take him away from me except for Death themselves.  Relationships are not perfect, not even the best ones.  Dylan is my best friend and he will be in my life for the rest of it if I can help it.  We’re allowed to have cracks, we’re allowed to struggle, we’re allowed to have our moments.  There is purity and love between us that can’t be stifled.  No relationship is perfect.  Relationships are fabricated for media to look perfect but that isn’t real.  Real relationships have grit, stakes, growth, disputes, mistakes, trials, and change.

We will be okay.

We can get through this.

[thevalleyisjolly]

Hi there! If you feel up to it, would you be willing to expand a bit more on the idea of white creators creating poc characters who are ‘internally white’, especially in a post-racialized or racism-free setting & how to avoid it? It’s something I’m very concerned about but I haven’t encountered a lot of info about it outside of stories set in real world settings. Thanks & have a good day!

Hey, thanks for asking, anon!  It’s a pretty nuanced topic, and different people will have different takes on it.  I’ll share my thoughts on it, but do keep in mind that other people of colour may have different thoughts on the matter, and this is by no means definitive!  These are things I’ve observed through research, trial and error, my own experiences, or just learning from other writers.

The first thing I guess I want to clarify is that I personally am not opposed to a society without racism in fiction.  It’s exhausting and frankly boring when the only stories that characters of colour get are about racism!  So it’s a relief sometimes to just get to see characters of colour exist in a story without dealing with racism.  That being said, I feel like a lot of the time when creators establish their settings as “post-racial,” they avoid racism but they also avoid race altogether.  Not aesthetically -they may have a few or even many characters with dark skin- but the way the characters act and talk and relate to the world are “race-less” (which tends to end up as default white American/British or whatever place the creator comes from).  Which I have complicated thoughts on, but the most obvious thing that springs to mind is how such an approach implies (deliberately or not) that racism is all there is to the way POC navigate the world.  It’s definitely a significant factor, particularly for POC in Western countries, but it’s not the only thing!  There’s so much more to our experiences than just racial discrimination, and it’s a shame that a lot of “post-racial” or “racism-free” settings seem to overlook that in their eagerness to not have racism (or race) in their stories.

A quick go-to question I ask when I look at characters of colour written/played by white creators is: if this was a story or transcript I was reading, with no art or actors or what have you, would I be able to tell that this character is a character of colour?  How does the creator signal to the audience that this is a character of colour?  A lot of the time, this signal stops after the physical description - “X has dark skin” and then that’s all!  (We will not discuss the issue of racial stereotypes in depth, but it should be clear that those are absolutely the wrong way to indicate a character of colour).

This expands to a wider issue of using dark skin as a be-all-end-all indication of diversity, which is what I mean by “aesthetic” characters of colour (I used the term “internally white” originally but upon further reflection, it has some very loaded implications, many of which I’m personally familiar with, so I apologize for the usage).  Yes, the character may not “look” white, but how do they interact with the world?  Where do they come from?  What is their background, their family?  A note: this can be challenging with diaspora stories in the real world and people being disconnected (forcibly or otherwise) from their heritage (in which case, those are definitely stories that outsiders should not tell).  So let’s look at fantasy.  Even the most original writer in the world bases their world building off existing things in the real world.  So what cultures are you basing your races off of?  If you have a dark skinned character in your fantasy story, what are the real world inspirations and equivalents that you drew from, and how do you acknowledge that in a respectful, non-stereotyped way?

(Gonna quickly digress here and say that there are already so many stories about characters of colour disconnected from their heritage because ‘They didn’t grow up around other people from that culture’ or ‘They moved somewhere else and grew up in that dominant culture’ or ‘It just wasn’t important to them growing up’ and so on.  These are valid stories, and important to many people!  But when told by (usually) white creators, they’re also used, intentionally or not, as a sort of cop-out to avoid having to research or think about the character’s ethnicity and how that influences who they are.  So another point of advice: avoid always situating characters outside of their heritage.  Once or twice explored with enough nuance and it can be an interesting narrative, all the time and it starts being a problem)

Another thing I want to clarify at this point is that it’s a contentious issue about whether creators should tell stories that aren’t theirs, and different people will have different opinions.  For me personally, I definitely don’t think it’s inherently bad for creators to have diverse characters in their work, and no creator can live every experience there is.  That being said, there are caveats for how such characters are handled.  For me personally, I follow a few rules of thumb which are:

Is this story one that is appropriate for this creator to tell?  Some experiences are unique and lived with a meaningful or complex history and context behind them and the people to whom those experiences belong do not want outsiders to tell those stories.

To what extent is the creator telling this story?  Is it something mentioned as part of the narrative but not significantly explored or developed upon?  Does it form a core part of the story or character?  There are some stories that translate across cultures and it’s (tentatively) ok to explore more in depth, like immigration or intergenerational differences.  There are some stories that don’t, and shouldn’t be explored in detail (or even at all) by people outside those cultures.

How is the creator approaching this story and the people who live it?  To what extent have they done their research?  What discussions have they had with sensitivity consultants/readers?  What kind of respect are they bringing to their work?  Do they default to stereotypes and folk knowledge when they reach the limits of their research?  How do they respond to feedback or criticism when audiences point things that they will inevitably get wrong?

Going back to the “race-less” point, I think that creators need to be careful that they’re (respectfully) portraying characters of colour as obvious persons of colour.  With a very definite ‘no’ on stereotyping, of course, so that’s where the research comes in (which should comprise of more than a ten minute Google search).  If your setting is in the real world, what is the background your character comes from and how might that influence the way they act or talk or see the world?  If your setting is in a fantasy world, same question!  Obviously, avoid depicting things which are closed/exclusive to that culture (such as religious beliefs, practices, etc) and again, avoid stereotyping (which I cannot stress enough), but think about how characters might live their lives and experience the world differently based on the culture or the background they come from.

As an example of a POC character written/played well by a white person, I personally like Jackson Wei and Cindy Wong from Dimension 20’s The Unsleeping City, an urban fantasy D&D campaign.  Jackson and Cindy are NPCs played by the DM, Brennan Lee Mulligan, who did a good job acknowledging their ethnicity without resorting to stereotypes and while giving them their own unique characters and personalities.  The first time he acted as Cindy, I leapt up from my chair because she was exactly like so many old Chinese aunties and grandmothers I’ve met.  The way Jackson and Cindy speak and act and think is very Chinese (without being stereotyped), but at the same time, there’s more to their characters than being Chinese, they have unique and important roles in the story that have nothing to do with their ethnicity.  So it’s obvious that they’re people of colour, that they’re Chinese, but at the same time, the DM isn’t overstepping and trying to tell stories that aren’t his to tell.  All while not having the characters face any racism, as so many “post-racialized” settings aim for, because there are quite enough stories about that!

There a couple factors that contribute to the positive example I gave above.  The DM is particularly conscientious about representation and doing his research (not to say that he never messes up, but he puts in a lot more effort than the average creator), and the show also works with a lot of sensitivity consultants.  Which takes me to the next point - the best way to portray characters of colour in your story is to interact with people from that community.  Make some new friends, reach out to people!  Consume media by creators of colour!  In my experience so far, the most authentic Chinese characters have almost universally been created/written/played by Chinese creators.  Read books, listen to podcasts, watch shows created by people of colour.  Apart from supporting marginalized creators, you also start to pick up how people from that culture or heritage see themselves and the world, what kind of stories they have to tell, and just as importantly, what kind of stories they want being told or shared.  In other words, the best way to portray an authentic character of colour that is more than just the colour of their skin is to learn from actual people of colour (without, of course, treating them just as a resource and, of course, with proper credit and acknowledgement).

Most importantly, this isn’t easy, and you will absolutely make mistakes.  I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that you will mess up.  No matter how well researched you are, how much respect you have for other cultures, how earnestly you want to do this right, you will at some point do something that makes your POC audience uncomfortable or even offends them.  Then, your responsibility comes with your response.  Yes, you’ve done something wrong.  How do you respond to the people who are hurt or disappointed?  Do you ignore them, or double down on your words, or try to defend yourself?  Just as importantly, what are you planning to do about it in the future?  If you have a second chance, what are you going to do differently?  You will make mistakes at some point.  So what are you going to do about them?  That, I think, is an even more important question than “How can I do this right?”  You may or may not portray something accurately, but when you get something wrong, how are you going to respond?

Essentially, it all comes down to your responsibility as a creator.  As a creator, you have a responsibility to do your due diligence in research, to remain respectful to your work and to your audience, and to be careful and conscientious about how you choose to create things.  It’s not about getting things absolutely perfect or being the most socially conscious creator out there, it’s about recognizing your responsibilities as a creator with a platform, no matter how big or small, and taking responsibility for your work. 

In summary:

Research, research, research

Avoid the obvious no-no’s (stereotypes, tokenization, fetishization, straight up stealing from other cultures, etc) and think critically about what creative choices you’re making and why

Do what you’re doing now, and reach out to people (who have put themselves out there as a resource).  There are tons of resources out there by people of colour, reach out when you’re not sure about something or would like some advice!

Responsibility, responsibility, responsibility

Thank you for reaching out!  Good luck with your work!

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 1

The Case of the The Pernicious Party  

Hello, hello, hello! It’s been a hot second but your resident D20 recapper is back to tackle the newest season: Mice and Murder! Y’all had to know I wasn’t gonna sit out the murder mystery, are you kidding me???

I might be playing around with the format a bit in the coming weeks to make sure I have the best possible system for keeping track of possible clues, suspects, and theories as we untangle whatever web Brennan weaves for us this season so don’t be surprised if things change a little. 

Anyway, without further ado, onto our mystery!

Summary

In case you missed it, this season takes place in an alternate, Zootopia/Wind in the Willows-esque universe where all the characters are animals but history seems to have happened in more or less the same way--for example there was still a King Charles but he was a King Charles Spaniel (cute Brennan). Our story specifically takes place in the English village of Tufting Meadows.  

We start with Katie’s character--Gangie Green (Weasel/Thief Rogue) in the graveyard of the Anglican Chapel (Our Lady of Prayerful Paws). Gangie, we learn, is an orphan who was kicked out of the orphanage at some point for thievery. Obviously, he’s not reformed of the habit because he is here to do some graverobbing. On a nat 20 (that Katie hilariously doesn’t notice even though her total is like a 29) Gangie can see through the window of the rectory that there is a weeping window inside--Catherine McCabbage who is being (dubiously) tended to by Raph’s character, Vicar Ian Prescott (Owl/Bard, College of Eloquence). 

Ian comes from a line of men of the cloth but he’s not exactly the best speaker despite his subclass. He’s doing his best though! The widow’s husband (Conor McCabbage) died at the local mill in what has been declared an accident but she suspects foul play. She’s been hearing his voice on the wind and wants Ian’s professional opinion on whether this could be a sign from God or if her husband might be speaking to her from beyond the grave or something like that. Ian gives a very muddled and not very comforting answer but seems pretty sure that something sketchy did in fact happen. Then, he sees a crack of lightning outside which illuminates the graveyard where he gets a glimpse of Gangie. 

He goes to check it out (and Gangie fully has an elderly goat he’s dug up slung over his shoulder) but “gravedigger” is his legit job so Ian decides to assume whatever’s going on is legit and not ask too many questions. He goes back to the widow (who, before she leaves, says that maybe sometimes people need to work on God’s behalf) while Gangie takes the body Loam Hall (a massive manor, built into a hill).

We cut to the next day and our next two characters! 

At 22B Hamsted Street in a pretty well appointed home are Ally and Grant’s characters. First up, we have Lars Vandenchomp (Huge ass Doberman/Battlemaster Fighter) who is so tough looking but also so Swedish sounding--it’s A Lot (so, incredibly on brand for Ally). Lars is security for Grant’s character Sylvester Cross (Fox/Inquisitive Rogue) who is a kinda (to use Grant’s word) “foppish” Sherlock Holmes type. He was hired by Squire William Thornwall Brockhollow to figure out what happened with Conor McCabbage (and clear him of negligence in running the mill) but he couldn’t find any evidence of any funny business, making this the only case he’s never cracked. He’s not as young or popular as he once was so this is, understandably, bumming him out. He’s even more bummed out when he realizes that William has invited him to his 60th birthday party that’s happening that night (as kind of a prop to show that he did his part in trying to solve the mystery) and Lars has already RSVP’d yes. He grudgingly agrees to go as it’s one of those asks that’s really more of a veiled demand but decides to pull the money he was paid from the bank first so he can return it and really stick it to the guy.

Finally, we cut to our last set of PCs who are on their way to Tufting Meadows via a very luxurious train. Inside are Sam and Rekha’s characters! Sam is Buckster $ Boyd (Peccary which is like a small boar/Mastermind Rouge) a Texan Oil Tycoon who acts exactly how you’d expect a Texan Oil Pig to act. Yes, you pronounce the dollar sign as “dollar sign” (even though as we find out later his middle name is Cassius so it’s like Cash which I think is super cool). With him is Rekha’s character, Daisy D'umpstaire (Raccoon/Assassin (???) Rogue another American (from South Carolina) though it seems she’s My Fair Lady’d herself into an upper class socialite (her last name was previously Dumpster). They’re traveling with their accountant, an Armadillo named Armond who seems kinda skittish and concerned about their travel expenses but Buck tells him that to make money you gotta spend money and they’re gonna make a *ton* of money on this trip. They’re also so so mean to him for absolutely no reason. 

When the train stops, they’re greeted by Templeton Padhop (a frog, natch) who is the chauffeur of Loan Hall, sent to fetch them. A wheel on his car is broken so he joins in on the Armond abuse immediately and has Armond roll into an Armadillo ball and replace it. Poor guy. When they show up they're greeted by a footman--a pug in a bowler hat named Milo Snout.

Meanwhile, Lars and Sly (Oh, Sly fox, I see what you did there Grant) are similarly greeted by another footman--a lizard named Basil Baskins. On a 23 perception check, Lars sees that Jeremy “Jez” Brockhollow is inside (the son of William who is a badger btw) and also clocks Gangie (who they know as a career criminal who disappeared like a year ago). Gangie doesn’t notice Lars though. 

Ian, who is also invited, shows up at about the same time as Sly but very quickly, the conversation is taken over by Lucretia “Lucy” Brockhollow, William’s older, eccentric sister who immediately gets into it with Lars about astrology and the occult (she thinks bad stuff is happening because of a curse let loose when Sly’s old rival--a rabbit named Fletcher Cottonbottom who is the son of his former employer--opened an Egyptian tomb). They’re thick as thieves right away because Ally is a nonsense magnet. And not like a regular magnet, one of those big electromagnets. 

Daisy and Buck spot William’s kids--the aforementioned Jez and his older sister Constance--along with their husbands Dr. Corbin Magpie (Constance’s and obv a magpie and a doctor) and Osmond Sheffield (Jez’s who is a Ram and a lawyer). Daisy is too stuck in her conversation with a truly unhinged squirrel (Lady Eugenia Bristlebrush who clearly does not know she’s in a murder mystery because she just keeps talking about how much she hates and wants to kill everyone) to hear what’s going on but she indicates the conversation to Buck who is able to eavesdrop and hear that they’re lamenting that Catherine--the widow--RSVP’d no which is gonna look really bad, like they didn’t invite her (bad PR). 

Buck, introducing himself as a business partner of William, eases into a conversation with the husbands which their respective spouses also join into and we learn that Buck's dad was British and a friend of Willian’s. Buck bonds with Jez (who is a bit of a dilettante) really quickly since Buck is ready to go drinks-wise immediately (and there’s a stellar pun about the “American [Drinking] Constitution''). Through the window, Buck notices Gangie outside getting his attention. 

At the same time, Ian is going from party guest to party guest, giving out the penances he forgot to earlier at church (as one does). We see him talking to the Lord and Lady Bramble (a cow and hedgehog, respectively) and while she wants to pray her way out of situations without doing any legwork, he wants to buy his way out and gives Ian 250 pounds. A frustrating but financially lucrative conversation.  

Buck goes outside to talk to Gangie who has a list of names of the bodies he’s been collecting. We’re not told what Buck is doing but it seems that this list is extremely valuable to him in some way. Gangie (who Buck keeps calling Gangly, to his annoyance) pays him handsomely (like, with a 50% tip) for the list (and Gangie gives him the real list, despite Brennan saying he didn’t have to). We also learn that Gangie has allegedly been getting the orders from someone in Loa Hall and they flow from William himself.

Matilda Molesly (a mole and the head maid) invites Gangie to come in from the rain--she’s the only person who’s been consistently nice to him and he agrees to come in for tea and scones. 

Everyone is ushered together by the butler (because of course there’s a butler--he’s quite literally a fancy rat named Thomas Gilfoyle) and William gives a speech where he wishes Conor well and kinda highlights that he did hire Sly to solve the case in a “Hey, I did my bit don’t blame me” kind of way. He also makes a 150k pound donation to the church (and Ian thought 250 was good) and tells his daughter not to read the praise he got for it from the cardinal when she mentions it (I wonder if that was choreographed). Sly interrupts the speech to “magnanimously” give his money back, to William’s annoyance. Buck notices that Lawrence Longfoot (a nouveau rich, rabbit photographer) takes a pic of the scene but with Sly in the foreground and William in the background. 

Then, a few things happen at once (in a very cinematic way):

As the camera flashes, Mrs. Molesly drops her tray, eyes hurt by the light. Lady Calliope Fawnbrooke (Deer, Matron of the Arts) helps her up.

In the moment of dark, after the flash goes away, the butler disappears. 

Buck thinks he sees a shape through the window, out in the rain. 

A cheer goes up for Sly for returning the money but all Sly can focus on is one figure he recognizes in the back of the room. Daisy, who is downing her drink and not cheering for him. He downs his as well, and looks at her until she breaks the stare and leaves the room. 

And this episode doesn’t end with a dead body like I thought, but with a flashback to a younger Sylvester, 12 years ago when he first met Daisy.

PC INTERPERSONAL DRAMA Y’ALL!!! Get HYPED! 

Case Notes

Here is a compilation of all the characters (PCs and NPCs introduced in this episode). 

Sly mentions that Ignatius Cottonbottom faked his own death as a part of some scheme which seems like a backstory point that might come back later--we now know that there exists a way to convincingly fake your own death in this world. 

Sly walks with a walking stick because of some “mysterious accident” but we’re jumping into a flashback next week so it looks like we might find out about it pretty soon. 

Sly also mentions he used to be the personal physician to the elder Cottonbottom so those are skills he has. I wonder if that’ll be useful to this healer-less party. I wonder if cleric was even an option in this world which seems to be low to no magic. It would explain by Ian is a bad and not a cleric. 

Lars has a military background which I wanted to mention in case it becomes relevant later. 

And Dr. Magpie grew up poor and still acts it a bit even though he married a very rich woman. Brennan uses the very good line, “He forces his body into the shape of an apology”

This might be a really deep cut reference but did anyone else here was the old Britcom “Keeping Up Appearances”? Cause I was getting serious Bouquet/Bucket energy from Daisy. 

This is an all College Humor season and it shows. The energy of 6 (7 if you count Brennan) top notch comedians sparking off of each other, trying to one up each other is off the charts. Some of the best bits this episode:

“When God closes every door but one, you go through the door that is open.” followed by “I’m an owl by the way.”

“Time is money, here’s both” from Buck re his inscribed gold pocket watch--everyone at the table loved that so much and they’re right. 

Armond going from being a third to a fourth wheel. 

And the names--I already shouted out a ton on the main recap but also a rat butler (like Rhett Butler) and naming the mouse Cat(therine). Can’t forget Gangie Green/gangrene from Katie. Also points to Ally for the data stealing Eel Musk which broke Brennan a little. 

I know we just went through this with Crown of Candy but what are these animals eating? Like, in Zootopia there were only mammals so we can assume the carnivores are eating like birds and fish but there are sentient birds here. I know this isn’t important. I’m not trying to do a CinemaSins gotcha. I just wonder, you know?

Y’all were waiting for all the lights to go out during that speech and then come back on and there’d be a body too, right?

If Brennan makes the bad guy a chicken or a duck or something so he can make a “fowl play” joke, he is cordially invited to catch these hands. 

I have been waiting for Raph and Katie to do D20 forever. Their specific brand of nonsense on Rank Room was always amazing. 

I love love love that Grant and Rekha are the PCs that have ~a past~ because they are so funny together. If you haven’t seen their episode of Game Changers, you absolutely must (it’s also a murder mystery actually!). 

[scims-stuff]

right ik that this is a tma/mechs acc and so i don’t really talk abt cr on here but there’s a few problems i’ve been seeing in the fandom after the finale, and i wanna address them

SPOILERS FOR CAMPAIGN 2 EP 141

To preface this: I am a gay trans man, keep that in mind because I think that it provides perspective for a few things I’m about to say. Also I am not going to address any of the gripes people may have with white people playing woc or any stereotypes Beau may fall into because I’m white and not a lesbian, so it is not my place to have a huge opinion on it.

1) Matt confirming on twitter that some npcs are trans is fine

It is not always appropriate or necessary to outright mention someone is trans if it is not directly relevant to their life or how we view the character. Stealth trans people exist irl, and it’s weird to describe someone as trans (unless the pcs knew the person prior to their intro) as it implies that trans people are inherently different (in terms of gender) than cis people (why would you specify someone is trans but never do that with cis characters?).

For example: Yussa is described as looking old, even for an elf. Putting him at definitely over 500 years old. He most likely transitioned magically hundreds of years before he met the nien, there would be no reason to bring it up. Also, he is shown to be a reserved person, it would be out of character for him to tell them anyway.

To me it’s technically not dumbledoring them. Dumbledores relationship with Grindelwald was technically relevant to the plot/his character in the main series, what’s in an npcs pants isn’t.

Also I don’t want to see any comparison with Brennan Lee Mulligan, dimesion 20 and critical role are very different, with different moods, expectations, and most likely ways of transitioning. They may have hrt in modern New York, but they probably rely on magic a bit more in Xandria.

I admit, it may not be the best rep out there, but I think it’s good there wasn’t any transphobia or coming out story lines because they’re usually not handled the best by cis creators.

Trans people feel free continue a respectful conversation about this with me, cis people I don’t care.

2) Please god chill it with how shadowgast ended up

Not all relationships need a dramatic love confession. The way Liam implied that Essek and Caleb were romantically involved at one point but ended up as friends (both due to lifespan and, personal headcanon here, maybe a lack of romantic compatibility) was perfectly clear. This is why we pay attention in literature class.

They both care for each other in a unique and deep way but that doesn’t mean it has to end in romance, there’s a value in deep platonic love. Also, at one point Essek did say that he wasn’t really interested in romance at all.

Additionally, it was an epilogue scene so Liam would want to focus on the important stuff to do with Caleb’s character (burning the time travel room and visiting his parents graves), because, surprise, Caleb is more than who he cares for romantically and he is still bi no matter who he ends up with.

Remember y’all, it’s pride month, Liam and Matt may not see your posts complaining about the lack of gratuitous romance and the fact that Caleb was apparently not good bi rep because he didn’t end up with anyone, but your bi and aro friends and followers will.

3) THIS IS NOT THE LAST TIME WE ARE GONNA SEE THE MIGHTY NEIN

Although I was definitely not in the fandom when they were released, we have 5 canon Vox Machina one shots.

Considering how much the fandom has grown since then, we are very likely to get the same amount, if not more.

So just hold it with the “we never got [insert thing here]” for a bit. I’m personally a bit sad they never got the basilisk oil for Pumat, but hey that’s a good oneshot idea.

In conclusion- chill

EDIT: Essek is canonically demi

[conservativetranny]

2020 blog update

Hello. No idea if any of you ‘remember’ me but I do seem to have a fair few followers on here. I managed to access the login information for this account and it is safe to say this blog is dead. I denounce everything I stood for on this stupid shit. 

I’m writing this because it’s what the blog deserves. Not looking to be dramatic, not looking for sympathy, in fact I think i’ll get a bit of backlash for this but bring it on. 

The past and the present- a summary

I had this blog when I was 14, unfortunately way too young to have a social media presence (one which carried any responsibility like this one anyway). No matter what age I said I was, no matter how I portrayed myself or how you, my followers interpreted me, I was a sad young trans guy desperately hoping to look big, cool, masculine and stoic, and that manifested in the most toxic way possible. 

I’m 17 now, still very very young, and after developments in my life, especially pursuing my medical transition and becoming happy within myself, I no longer hold such toxic beliefs as I once did. I am happier with myself and no longer feel the need to sacrifice others’ dignity, respect, and unfortunately sometimes on this blog, privacy, for my own. I was a very insecure, stubborn, and ignorant teenager, who dealt with a lot of denial. I’m not blaming the way I treated people online on other factors, but of course external factors came into play. I was dealing with bullying and insecurity, with parental problems, and with loneliness and depression. I seeked some sort of community, and I wanted to push myself away from the ‘weak’ trans community (the way I viewed it at the time). I wasn’t in denial personally, with the fact that I was trans (being gay is a different story- I was in complete denial with the fact that I’m gay), more just with the way other people viewed me (I will expand on this). I could elaborate on the way in which I viewed other people and the way that projected onto my conduction online, but it is a complex and confusing story. I have completely changed my viewpoint on trans ‘discourse’, I am open minded, I am close friends with people I would have turned my ignorant nose up at years ago. I am so proud to say that I am a completely different person now. I grow every day, it seems, and I can assure that I will never return to this ignorant mindset.

Growth

With experience, I have grown too. Obviously, from 14-17 i have become more mature. I have different experiences now as well, for example, I don’t bind often at all really anymore, because its more comfortable and can sometimes make me more dysphoric to know I am binding. I’m bringing this up because I bet you back when I was active on this blog, I would’ve laughed at the more mature, tolerant me, and probably went on a tyrade about how I was a fake trans guy or less of a man for not binding. I often wonder what ‘old me’ would think of ‘new me’. Now obviously, three years isn’t a hell of a big difference, but to a 17 come 18 year old it is. I understand I am not an adult yet, but I’ve always taken pride in conducting myself with a sense of maturity and articulacy, and for this post and platform especially I feel it is appropriate.

The Truscum Mindset

Back when I ran this blog, I was in an echo chamber of like minded people, which didn’t help my ideological development. I watched youtubers like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah, who I thought gave me a balanced, moderate, and fair opinion which is clear is not the case. Back then I would’ve scoffed at the idea of Blaire and Kalvin and other similar people as being radical or a gateway, but I urge you, if you feel you are slipping to obsession with those ideologies, to seek to widen your opinions and associations. I understand it’s a fairly niche discourse topic, but for me it opened a wider rabbit hole into the alt right. From wanting to fit into the lgbt and wider communities as a masculine male, this opened up the black hole of the alt right, I browsed (now deleted) subreddits and 4chan boards, and forums that put me in a very negative and dangerous place. If you’d like me to make a post elaborating on this, I am more than happy to, but this post is to address conservativetranny.

Denial and owning up to responsibility

Back in 2017/18, I was very much in denial of certain aspects of myself, especially my sexuality. I am gay. I thought that this was, and especially as a trans guy, a demasculating quality. I still deal with those feelings sometimes, as a lot of young gay guys do, but thankfully it does not manifest itself as toxic as it once did. I just wanted to portray myself online as how I thought I wanted to be viewed-I didn’t want to be viewed like ‘any other trans guy’. I wanted to be different, but now I can appreciate individuality and I can also embrace being trans as well.

I used to think that having alt views was the coolest thing ever, which contributed to my slip into the alt right, something on which I’ll elaborate on in later posts. I am now an advocate for deradicalisation, and being rational, truly rational. I’m also an advocate for maturity and owning up to your mistakes.

I have hurt people, especially in my personal life, throughout my time as a stupid, thoughtless immature teenager and i am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for that. I now respect the hell out of those people and unfortunately, but definitely rightfully so, they have lost their respect for me. I don’t blame them, because as I said, up until very recently I was a horrible, toxic person. With maturity, in the past half a year I have been able to own up to my mistakes and I am now taking responsibility for that. No excuses, because I was a shitty person. Of course there is a line between excuses and justification, and I hope those which are reading this can distinguish and appreciate this difference.

Self Hatred and Truscum

Back when I ran this blog, it was very easy to tell I was self hating. Everything I wrote on here, pretty much, was hateful except for the odd two posts that were about something unrelated to my ideology. I was extremely dysphoric and in a bad place when I wrote these things and certainly projected my insecurities onto others. I wanted to find a community of different thinking people that would accept me, and this community was certainly the wrong turn. I had a feeling that it was wrong at the time, but I was too naive and cowardly to own up to it and seek a way out. I kind of just naturally fell out of it, a a lot of things happened in my personal life in late 2018 that forced me out of trans discourse and into much more toxic places like the alt right and true crime fandoms, and I think I’ve only recently ‘found myself’ in the past year or so. I might make a post on self growth on the future as I intend to keep this blog to elaborate and voice my opinions on deradicalisation and highlight the importance of owning up and self awareness.

Don’t fall into the rabbithole

I’m not too acquainted with trans discourse anymore, so I’m out of the loop on this one, but I’d imagine that there’s still ‘transmed vs tucute’ ideas. Kalvin Garrah’s community comes to mind, I haven’t watched his videos ‘as a fan’, if that makes sense, for a while now but I am aware he has a large fanbase of young trans teens that were in a similar mindset to where I was back when I ran this blog. I would love for this post to reach his opposers and supporters for that matter, as a means to show them that they don’t have to fall into this cycle of hate which can be very damaging. I used to be an avid fan of Kalvin, and Blaire White, amongst others. I watched exclusively their content alone and formed my opinions around theirs. If you’re doing that now, I urge you to consider other people when you do. Think about the people like Brennan Beckwith, people who were severely impacted and hurt by hateful rhetoric. Those people are human too, and with maturity you will learn that people with different experiences and views are, at the end of the day, the same as you, and they have feelings as well .I’m going to make a post in the future about Kalvin Garrah, certainly, but maybe Blaire White as well.

Why now?

You may be wondering why this post is being made now of all times, and that is a question that has every right to be asked. I feel as if this timing is right because I finally possess the level of maturity needed to own up to my mistakes and tell you that I was wrong and it was certainly wrong to post those opinions and mistakes online for all to see, and put people in my real life on blast like I did.

I had completely forgotten about this blog, and forgot about the rude and ignorant words I had written towards the people in my real life, until chance had it that I was in contact with one of the people mentioned in this post. [https://conservativetranny.tumblr.com/post/169351517511/no-one-pretends-to-be-trans]

I’m not going to go into the nuances of the conversation we had, but it turns out they had, for a while and definitely rightfully so been hurt by the fact that I had mentioned them, by name, in this post. And while I’d of course still like to keep these people anonymous and will not sacrifice their anonymity in order to tell a story or ‘save myself’, this post is quite funny to read back on as I am good friends with the people referred to as ‘P’ and ‘Shadow’ now.

This is the end of this post, as I feel I have said everything I have wanted to say regarding my previous conduct on this blog. I’m going to change my name on this blog and my bio as I do intend on further posts in the future. I’m not sure how many people, if any, this post will reach, but I’m satisfied I have written this anyway. I certainly do plan on writing future posts but I’m not exactly sure how to formulate them. But thank you so much for reading this far, and if you have, I appreciate it.

[morninkim]

Favourite PCs from dimension 20?

OKAY LEMME DIG DEEP

For simplicity I'll go with one per season just so I don't end up writing whole essays on everyone in the entire show

Fantasy High -

Figueroth Faeth - god I love Fig so much, the way she goes from angsty bad girl teen who's acting out and trying too hard bc she feels scorned by her circumstances and the fact that her life was upended by The Sudden Realisation Of Her Infernal Heritage to legitimately caring and introspective friend who works to better how she presents herself to those around her is one of my favourite parts of Fantasy High + Figayda owns my entire soul (bonus shoutout to Figaydadaine bc I thought about it the other week and Adaine having to come to grips with realising that what she feels when Fig and Ayda kiss or something is, in fact, not only jealousy but jealousy TWICE is very good and compelling and I just think that Adaine Abernant is an ace lesbian)

Escape from the Bloodkeep -

Leiland - YES I'm a lesbian YES I'm a Matt Mercer simp we exist, the way he plays Leiland in Bloodkeep is so well done and I love the concept of someone so devoted that it blinds them to their true worth and they end up defining themself by how useful they are to the subject of their devotion, so much so that it's detrimental to their own mental health. Until they are eventually faced with a situation where they no longer have anyone to please and have to reconcile with the fact that they have worth beyond what they mean to others and also BECAUSE they mean things to others. Also I think that he and Markus should kiss, Matt and Ify should come back to do a oneshot w Brennan that is just that I'll fund it myself

The Unsleeping City -

Sofia Lee/Bicicleta - GOD THE VERY PEAK OF CHOSEN ONE NARRATIVES. She's so fucking DRIVEN and love her so much. The scene where she chooses herself is so fucking good and i've mentioned before that I love that it happened in the same episode as Ricky's big chosen one moment bc just like I love the Pete/Kingston dichotomy I'll NEVER be over the Ricky/Sofia dichotomy of "Man chosen by those who came before him" vs "Woman chosen by no others but herself" + Monk/Warlock is a Very Good combo and Emily Axford deserves the world also. YES IM A SIMP FOR EMILY CHARACTERS IM ENTITLED TO BE. Anyway Sofia's the only one of the main cast who doesn't have any real cosmic obligation to do good in the context of those 17 episodes but she does it anyway and I love her for it

Tiny Heist -

Either Agnes or Bean - first off I love Jess Ross and Griffin McElroy in general, they're both incredibly funny and so great. Agnes' reveal of the fact that she's dying is so heartbreaking and the fact that the Heist is her last hurrah is so cool and sexy of her, we love a morally dubious facewoman. Bean is a delight, the fact that Griffin said "hell yeah" one time and then it became the Watermelon Dojo's motto?? Incredible. He also leads to some of the most resourceful and fun moments in the show just bc of having such WACK Monk abilities in a heist setting which is SO GOOD. I might be misremembering things bc I truthfully have only watched TH once but y'know

A Crown of Candy -

AMETHAR. FUCKING AMETHAR.

He's so fucking good and Lou plays him so perfectly and just,,, the way he talks about his experiences playing Amethar in AP is so interesting to listen to bc you can ABSOLUTELY feel the imperfect dad mindset shining through his performance. The way he's the king who never wanted to be king, the way he's a father who's trying to do what's right by not only his daughters and his family, but his kingdom as well, even if he sometimes doesn't know what that is. I'll never forget the heartbreak I felt as Brennan was playing out the excommunication scene and you can see and hear Lou's pained "No"s as he goes on and.......I love Lou Wilson and I love Amethar so fucking much,,,,, truly if push had come to shove and he'd actually died sacrificing himself to stop his daughters from killing each other, I don't think I'd have ever recovered. There's something about parents who sincerely try their best but never really succeed to the fullest that get to me real hard

I haven't seen Pirates of Leviathan yet bc I was waiting for it to all come out before watching it but I anticipate I'll probably love Jack, Bob or Myrtle (leaning toward Myrtle bc aah hot monster lady.......)

[silentlsworld]

The Quarantine in the Year Pt. 2

Hello everyone! Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has read pt. 1 of The Quarantine in the Year! I appreciate your likes, reblogs and comments dearly :) I’m awaiting an invite to set up my AO3 profile to post more frequently there but until then, I thought I’d share a pt. 2 

Disclaimer: Once again, I don’t own any of the original Bones characters, that’s all HH. The only thing that is mine is my imagination. 

A/N: I’m trying to bounce between all our beloved character’s lives and capture them as accurately and in character as I can. I really hope you like pt. 2 and feel free to leave advice, ideas in the comments <3 

-------------------

Cam sighed as she walked into the living room. She could hear her sons’ laughter as well as her husbands. The thought of her family eased her worked up nerves. She loved the little family she had created. Though Michelle was now in training at Quantico which meant a busy schedule, she still came home time to time. Well, before the world went up in flames, she would frequently come home and bond with her brothers, play with, help them with school and get to know them. 

The boys had even settled in amazingly. Granted, it took some time for all three of them to get used to the home and it had shocked them that would all be able to stay together so that made the first few mornings emotional when they saw each other at breakfast. All in all, they had become quite the little family and the boys had such a great impact on her and Arastoo’s lives.

“Isaiah! Yeah! Do it!” Tyler encouraged.

“Wait boys! I-I-don’t think-” Arastoo’s voice was drowned out as a ‘pop-pop’ was heard.

Running to see if anyone was hurt, Cam stopped short staring at the mini volcano that was sitting on her very expensive chenille rug and had just recently erupted.

“What-What is going on?”

Model airplanes and Hum Vs sat scattered around the floor along with mini soldiers lined up ready for battle. Isaiah sat with his arms covered in a mixture of red and orange food dye and Tyler had it in his hair. Cameron sat to the other side finishing up another Hum V model with a goofy grin on his face twinning the one on his father’s. Arastoo beamed at his boys. The fact that he had not one but three sons to play with and experiment with gave him so much joy.

“THAT WAS AWESOME!” he laughed out.

“Oh really, guess we know who’s going to clean my rug.” Cam muttered before shaking her head. She turned and walked away into the kitchen to grab a wine, a beer, a double scotch, anything to keep her mind off her rug that would more than likely stain and the fact that all four of her boys had the same maturity level. 

“Hey Dad, is Mom angry?” Tyler asked a little worried he’d upset his mom.

“She’s probably only a little upset. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go talk to her.”

“Quarantine really has had her on edge huh Dad.” Cameron contributed.

“Yeah, you got that right son. I’ll be back. In the meantime, how about we try to focus on building the boats instead of testing if the volcano works?” Arastoo stood up and walked into the kitchen and found Cam leaning over the counter, head bowed and body tense.

“Hey, Cam. Babe talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Sniffling Cam looked up, “Felicia. She-she-”

“Hey, it’s okay. Calm down. I’m right here.” Arastoo reassured her and rubbed his hands up and down her back the way she loved. She had once told him that if she was ever upset beyond words, that helped her to calm down. Cam looked up and smiled at her husband before taking a deep breath continuing.

“Geor-George called me. He said that Felicia was at work. You know how instead of having everyone work at home, her office decided to take shifts. Well, it was her week and apparently someone in the office failed to tell them that-that-”

“Oh no. Cam…”

“She’s tested positive Arastoo. George said that he had to rush her to the hospital. It-it-it’s not looking good right now. The doctors are doing what they can, but they told George that the next twenty-four hours could be life or death for her.” Cam broke at that point and turned to bury her face in Arastoo’s chest. Not knowing what else to do, Arastoo held his wife with everything in him.

“Shhh. Cam breathe my love. It’ll be okay. She has to be. In Allah’s name she will be.”

“You-you-you can’t know for sure Arastoo and we-we were just starting to have a really great-really great relationship.” Cam hiccupped.

“Yes, I can Cam. Trust me. Felicia is a fighter. She’ll be okay.”

“Mom? Are you okay?” Isaiah poked his head into the kitchen followed by Tyler and Cameron.

“We’re sorry that we erupted the volcano over the rug. We’ll clean it up.” Tyler offered.

“Oh boys. It’s not you I’m upset at. Come over here.”

The boys walked over to their Mom and engulfed her in one big hug. Cam closed her eyes holding her boys to her. She never thought she would ever become a mother and then Michelle came into her and she was beyond grateful and once again thought that would be it. But then, she married Arastoo and worried he would be upset at her not wanting to get pregnant but then he mentioned adoption and she was on board especially when Brennan had connected them with a foster care facility in Mississippi which connected them to their three boys. She held them to her like her life depending on it and right now, the strength and reassurance of family was what she needed most.

------------------

Back at the Booth-Brennan household…

Booth could hear his son’s giggles and what sounded like Christine muttering to herself. He opened and his eyes went wide, and he had to try his best to not laugh at the sight in front of him. Hank had apparently gotten hold of the baby powder he had bought yesterday and stored in the bathroom cabinet. Even though he and Christine were already eight and eleven years old respectively, Brenna still purchased baby powder for them regularly to use after showers and baths. It helped them stay fresh and prevented chaffing which was always a plus. Hank had other ideas of its use though. The two entire jumbo containers had exploded over Christine’s room. Her floor was drenched in powder and Hank was currently in it making a snow angel. Christine had powder stacked on top of her head that looked like it had been dolloped there like whip cream on a cupcake. He chuckled involuntarily.

“Dad! Look! I made Christmas!” Hank shouted from his spot on the floor. He was drenched in it and looked like Casper the friendly ghost.

“DAD!” Christine whined.

“Okay-okay-okay!” Booth chuckled again. Bones would have lost it and blown her top he thought.

“It’s not funny Dad! This is like the third time this week Hank’s come in here and wreaked havoc.” Christine stared at her father indignantly. A stare she had inherited from her mother and it didn’t help that she had the same blue eyes. Just before lockdown, Angela had come over with Katherine and Brennan and Christine and they had a girl’s day lounging around the house. 

There had been a lull in cases for the FBI-Jeffersonian duo and so the women decided to take the day off together. It was then Angela had offered to cut Christine’s hair giving the little girl bangs. She looked so much like her Mom did when she first returned from Maluku and was the splitting image of Temperance Brennan right now as she stood with her hands on her hips, lips pouting, and eyes narrowed.

“Okay. Hank, why did you want to make Christmas?” Booth tried to reason with his son.

“Because I’m bored and Christmas time means fun in the snow and then Auntie Angela and Uncle Hodgy comes over and we get together with the whole family and go see the lights and then-and then we won’t be stuck in the house by ourselves.”

Booth sighed. He had figured Hank’s restlessness was because of being in quarantine but they couldn’t help it. When the news had broke that the virus had spread across the country, he and Aubrey as SSAs had made the executive decision to leave the division under Aubrey’s control so Booth could be home with his family. He had offered to consult with Aubrey virtually if needed along with Brennan. Brennan had immediately decided that she would stay with her children at home. Jessica and the other interns would keep the lab running on their quarantine schedule. Brennan would consult with them virtually as needed and would grade their papers, supervise their dissertations and identifications from home.

Though taking classes virtually, Christine and Hank visibly missed routine. Hank especially missed going to school and running around interacting with his friends. With nowhere to really release his energy, Christine had been on the receiving end for the past four months.

A/N: And scene... sorry to leave it on a lil cliffhanger but I promise more will be coming and what FF writer would I be if I didn’t leave cliffhangers <3 

[killian-whump]

I know you don't know the answer but I have to vent. I love Colin as a human being but it's hard to find his characters likeable. I mean, he really loves jerk characters and I can't connect with them. I love watching him in interviews & panels. I think he's a lovely man but why does he have to play that kind of characters always? I was happy to know he'll play Gordon Cooper in TRS but it seems he's playing him as a jerk, too. It gets very frustrating. I want him to play a nice guy for a change!

Hey, Nonny. Nah, I don’t mind some venting, as long as it’s fair. And yeah, Colin does like playing bad guys. And yeah, that kind of character’s not always gonna be everybody’s favorite.

BUT... you’re not being totally fair here, Nonny. For starters, he doesn’t always play jerks. Let’s have a quick Jerk roll call (role call? haha, see what I did there? I’ll be here all week year forever)...

Not Jerks: Rowe, Peter Sheerin (look, I will NOT tolerate any accusations of jerkiness about my precious gay disaster son, not even from Colin himself), Jamie, Conor Elliott, Young Security Guard, Duke Phillip, Ben, Michael Kovak, Unnamed Lumberjack Florist, Brennan Sullivan, Douxie Casparan.

In fact, all of these individuals are precious and should be protected at all costs. Like, I will actually CUT YOU if you speak ill of any of them.

Jerks: Brendan, Mark, Professor Harrison, Preacher Peter, JJ Sneed.

And it should be noted that Brendan is really just a creepy idiot in a clusterfuck of a situation who will likely spend the rest of his young life in prison as someone’s bitch, and Preacher Peter is like the poster child for why CPS exists in the first place and he should’ve been protected at all costs before he not only lost the plot, but also forgot what page he was on in the book or even how to read, omg, my poor disaster son T_T

(FYI: I left off all of the roles we’ve been unable to see for ourselves (including Gordo Cooper)... and I also left off Hook, because he arguably belongs on either both lists or neither list - and I chose neither because it’s easier.)

See, out of the 16 eligible characters, only 5 of them are jerks. So no, he doesn’t always play jerks. He only plays jerks roughly 31% of the time. Granted, you can still vent all you like about how you wish he’d play MORE nice guys and LESS jerks, but it’s totally unfair to say he only plays jerks. It’s simply not true!

Furthermore, you mentioned his characters being unlikeable... and I gotta say, I actually do like Mark, Peter, and JJ. In fact, they’re some of my favorite characters of Colin’s! Brendan’s a creepy little fuck, though, and Harrison just plain sucks. There’s no helping that XD

NOW for my next issue with the fairness of your venting here...

Gordo Cooper was a real person. He isn’t a character, and Colin isn’t “playing him as a jerk”. Gordo was just a guy. He was a guy who did wonderful things and a guy who made mistakes, as well - and Colin is portraying him as accurately as he can, and as accurately as the writing/directing allows for him to. And no, Gordo’s personal life and the mistakes he may have made in it (which are entirely subjective - we’re not talking murder or rape or anything criminal here) DO NOT negate the role he played in the advancement of air and space travel or his accomplishments as part of the Mercury and Gemini projects. And I’m willing to bet that, as long as TRS doesn’t end up being a total smear campaign out of nowhere (doubt it), Gordo doesn’t belong on the “Jerk” list above.

Now my last point here goes back to what I said in the beginning. It’s actually a perfectly valid complaint to have that you don’t like some of the characters Colin has played and you wish he’d stick to ones you DO like. I’m certainly not gonna tell you that you’re wrong about that, because they’re your feelings and of course you’re entitled to them.

But the thing is, there’s nothing you can DO about it. Now, I don’t know if you’re religious or not, or what you consider yourself, but I’ve always been fond of that serenity prayer the Christians have: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." That is some good shit right there, whether you believe in god(s) or not. And when it comes to the roles a specific actor takes (or passes on), that is 100% firmly in the “things I cannot change” camp.

And seeing as you can’t change it... Well, what’s the point in stressing about it? If you like Colin as a person, you can continue to do so. You don’t HAVE to watch all of his work. There’s lots of actors who I enjoy as people and haven’t seen all of their work. Or even most of their work. I just think they’re good people and I support them in a general sense. Watch what you like, enjoy what you like, support what you like, and skip out on whatever you don’t.

And as for Colin’s personal preferences... Well, you can’t change those, either - and you shouldn’t even want to. I mean, he’s entitled to like whatever he likes, and he should be encouraged to pursue the kinds of roles he likes and to have the kind of career HE can look back on and be happy with. He’s the one behind the steering wheel, my friend - as fans, we’re just going along for the ride! If you’re enjoying that ride and want to cheer him on, then do so. If you’re not enjoying it anymore, then get out and find another car to ride in that you DO enjoy! Fandom should be FUN, not frustrating!

[brightsun-and-darkmidnight]

Changes to Find the Middle

TITLE: Changes to Find the Middle

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Oneshot

AUTHOR: brightsun-and-darkmidnight

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki helping you through a new medication regimen.

+

Image meeting Loki at the really "good/high" end of a mental illness (like bipolar).

RATING:  Teen

NOTES/WARNINGS: Mental health. Bipolar disorder. Manic to depression. Sexual relationship. Mentions of sex but no explicit content. Character not being herself. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Please be careful and take care of yourself. This might be a little triggering due to what I know of Bipolar disorder. Extreme highs (hypomania) and extreme lows (depression) are shown in this but thankfully this has a happy ending I wish everyone could experience in real life. Mental health is so important and People who have mental health issues often can not control themselves due to a chemical imbalance or traumatic experience in their life. Their behavior is often NOT their fault. Seek professional help if needed.

Song Muses: (Addicted by Saving Able) (You don't know by Katelyn Tarver) (Rescue Me by Onerepublic) (Inner demons by Julia Brennan) (Paralyzed by NF)

My Ao3: brightsun_and_darkmidnight

LENGTH: 2,413

*FINALLY..Read the warnings. Once you agree you can handle it...

 ~ ~ ENJOY  ~ ~

"How has your energy been? You look good."

I sat down enthusiastically in front of the doctor's desk, "really good! I have the energy to catch up with things now that a couldn't even think about doing a few months ago."

"That's very good. Are you hanging out with your friends again? I remember our last visit you said you missed them."

"Yeah I took your advice and told them. Only two of my friends are close now but they took me out of my house occasionally and I am feeling more confident with myself because of them."

"I am happy to hear that." The doctor smiled at me.

I talked really fast because my doctor needed to hear more, "Their friends got me into one of Stark's parties and it was… amazing. I met this new guy actually."

"You guys do anything fun?"

"We met at the party and things really sparked. Like REALLY sparked and we see eachother everyday." I did not leave the suggestive tone out of my voice.

"That's good. Go on dates?"

Excitement lit in me at the thought of all the amazing sex we had… but other than the few drinks he bought me and the takeout dinner… 

The doctor glanced at me, their look shifted… something shifted and I already knew what was wrong.

"Umm… well.." I rubbed my thigh out of nerves just THINKING about it. Just the thought of the gynecology appointment for STI testing I should get done. I cleared my throat as I awkwardly answered, "there's more… action going on than casual conversations." 

My face flushed with heat when they asked,

"You mean sexual intercourse?"

I nodded my head. 

I knew. Everyone that actually knew "normal" me… All of us KNEW I never have sex with anyone until a month a serious dating, at least. The type of dating where discussions were deeper things than food, half watched movies, and how our outward appearances looked naked. I never sexted when I couldn't actually meet the other.

The doctor carefully asked the famous question, "Have you used protection?"

I tried to laugh but it came out broken. "No. Once again I felt invincible, overconfident, and had the sex drive of a rabbit."

The doctor started to discuss my sleep that was nonexistent. Then the amount of food consumption that was high and all I have been eating was cheap takeout. I haven't been eating like my usual self who tried to keep eating healthy. Even through depression I ate frozen fruit. It was on my list every time when I absolutely had to drag myself to the store to get necessities. I explained how I have been the person who, "helps everyone out with extreme unrealistic enthusiasm" as I always said to be annoying during my normal window of mind set.

I went to the store to pick up my prescription for a mood stabilizer. I went home and as much as I REALLY wanted to answer the phone when seeing Loki's name. I just didn't. I forced the thought from my mind of...a really pleasure filled night. My body filled with the desire to be touched by another's body.

The phone stopped ringing and so did my sinful thoughts.

As usual there was no voicemail.

In normal circumstances there should have been one, with a declaration of loving longing or a stupid question in a way to just get me to get back in contact.

I stared at my phone. My mind was at war and the part fueled by my bodily behavior was winning. It became a game in my head that was unfavorably tipped towards my body's desire. He texted me if he could come to my place and the game was over. I hid the medication in the cupboard after taking my first dose.

I woke in an odd way… something was different.

I groaned as I moved and felt the bed still warm under my body. I opened my eyes as I inhaled at a similar scent. I was unsure if I was glad he was gone or upset he seemed to have just left. He usually stayed till I woke. I felt the sensation between my legs and knew I needed to make a gynecologist appointment before I had to go to work, praying I could get in after my shift tomorrow.

I made the appointment but it was not for a few days and Loki kept in contact. However I worked on letting him go slowly with not responding immediately and was to the point of making sure not to respond to him unless there were so many number of attempts to contact me.

I stared at my phone as a new text message appeared.

Loki asked a simple question, "Are you ok?"

I laughed and laughed till I could no longer bare to do it.

It WAS a simple question but no one ever wanted the real answer. No one wanted the burdens of another placed on their shoulders from SMALL talk. The truth was deeper and more time consuming than anyone could predict. So I sent the simple one worded lie and left my phone alone again, but silenced it.

It was a while before I checked my phone due to falling asleep to the discovery channel.

I was fully prepared for no new notifications.

I was surprised to see 2 new messages.

I wanted to throw the phone before I looked but the idea was squashed by excitement and curiosity.

Both of the messages from Loki.

"Do you want to meet up?"

Hour after the last message, "talk tomorrow. Goodnight."

I didn't answer back because my stomach tightened in an odd way. I was used to feeling good about a God wanting me but now...

I used positive self talk to encourage myself to not give in on my final day before my tests but that coping skill is easily the hardest to master. I found myself open the chat with him, start to type something arousing and had to delete it. I was pissing myself off. I hated the stage between "normal me" and "ill me" because my mind was constantly at war.

I decided to ultimately block Loki's number in an attempt to stop contact.

My test results came back that I was still healthy and relief washed over me..

Eventually those supposed friends stopped talking to me as they usually did because I was not "fun" anymore.

I was becoming my "normal" self again, thus putting in the efforts of a healthy schedule again.

However, the loneliness from staying in by myself. Not having anyone to talk to. Ofcourse, I had my coworkers that have always openly laughed at poor tastes of mental health jokes. I was losing interest in everything because, "why should I care" and "what's the point?"

I had to look presentable for work so while I was "public eye" ready, I did my shopping then. By the time I got home on the days of the extremely scarce necessity shopping, I was exhausted but my body was wide awake. I would toss and turn trying to sleep but it would not welcome me.

Then other times, I put the cold stuff away and went straight to bed without getting anything to consume. I would often cry myself to sleep, then wake too tired to do anything. 

On days off I would lay in bed and do nothing until the desire to use the toilet became too strong.

I would weep and mourn my favorite past times. Not actually my interests and hobbies but how much I could not will myself to just do them. I left the discovery channel play on the TV just for the sake of something familiar. When a little fact I knew would be mentioned it was like a smoldering campfire was stirred. 

A little life breathed into me from time to time and due to the doctor's recommendation, I got back into therapy again. It helped but the talks were hard and seemed to weigh heavily on me more once I was home. There are skills I should be using and strategic tips to get things done. However, sometimes I just could not pull the will into my grasp to participate in the knowledge of a healthy lifestyle.

My phone rang with an unknown number. I answered it due to expecting a response from my doctor.

"How have you been?"

I knew that voice… but I could not pinpoint it.

I answered, "I'm ok. But who is this?"

"Loki."

"Oh…" I scrambled for words but nothing came. How was I supposed to explain this to him, my current state in everything and the fact I blocked his number?

"Are you home?"

"I was just about to leave." It was a lie. 

A damn terrible lie. I had no plans of removing myself from my couch. It had everything I needed in arms reach because it was essentially my comfort fort now.

The doorbell rang and I was extremely tempted to act like I was not home but the person on the other end of the phone knew.

I sighed with dread ringing in my chest much like the damned sound of company at my door insistent on not giving up.

I opened the door slightly to see Loki standing there.

His eyes met mine.

"You do not seem ok." Echoed from my phone before he ended the call.

I looked past Loki because while it might have once been excitement, I felt anything but that currently.

I tried to push my words out louder than a whisper, "What are you doing here?"

"I have been trying to contact you.. more regularly as of recently."

"I have no intention of being a booty call anymore."

His eyebrows scrunched and he blinked.

I went to shut the door as I said, "goodbye Loki."

Loki's hand shot out and kept the door opened. "You were never."

I huffed in annoyance as hope rose slightly in my chest. Then the doubts from depression took that hope and buried it 20 feet further than before. Tears pricked my eyes after the past hour of seeming to be gone and dried.

Loki's face was of concern when he asked, "may I come in?"

My face felt like it contorted into pure agony as I tried to hide the sob erupting from my aching heart. I tried to swallow the huge lump in my throat but it caused further pain. Then finally from the pain that emitted from deep within me, the tears fell.

I was in the hurricane of emotion from having a visitor.

Joy from not being alone then, to the horror of having to explain.

There was too much to explain... My reason for treating him so vastly different since we met. My emotional state. All my emotions. My appearance of myself and my house. The medication on the counter that had purpose. My illness and why once again I was crying harder. Trying to explain what was WRONG with me and why I needed the medication.

Loki sat beside me at the messy and cluttered kitchen table.

"What do you mean you were 'too good' at the time we met?"

I sniffed but still had to wipe my nose. "It's a symptom of bipolar disorder. I can literally feel too good at some points of my life. I had unbelievable amounts of confidence and optimism. It's called hypomania. That's not who I am. I am much-MUCH more responsible than getting drunk and having unprotected sexual intercourse with someone I know nothing about on an intellectual level."

I watched Loki's tongue swipe his lips as they pressed together and eyebrows scrunched again in thought.

Finally he spoke, "Your vast knowledgeable facts from our FIRST conversation have been playing on that TV throughout our conversation. I can see several things that show your bright mind. The very mind I fell for."

My eyes glanced at him once again. "My knowledge does not change. Just the optimism, focus, and desire for it."

Things seemed to be clicking in Loki's mind. He looked at the medications once again and did not take his eyes off of them. "If you continue your treatment, you will be what you deem normal?"

A small smile pulled my lips as a puff of air escaped from my amusement. "Yes. What I deem as normal. Not anyone else meaning I will be back to my healthy self... If I could remember to take my medicine."

"I am going to help you because I want to see the happy medium that you keep mentioning. It seems that I have seen you at all of your worst moments." He gave me a side glance with a smile pulling at his lips, "I assume there is something I must like out of your normal."

I began to smile but a frown quickly placed it. "There is no telling when I will be normal again."

Gold shimmered over my medication.

"Perhaps now it will become easier to stay on your medication regimen."

I grabbed a bottle and examined it once there was no longer gold around it. "What did you do?"

"I will know where these containers are and be able to move them. I will also know when you open them." He got the spare phone out of his pocket, "should I not be able to contact you again through phone, I will simply move these containers to you."

I felt a little happier as I teased, "I guess simply blocking your number is not going to work anymore?"

Loki smiled, "There are plenty of other numbers I could use."

Loki did help me. There had to be a little adjustment to his plan of keeping track of my medicine. He bought a specific little container made for sorting pills into daily doses. He would help me fill the daily spots for medication and he put another enchantment on that one as well. 

Everyday he would come to my place and help with things that needed to be done. He would compliment me when I needed it. He would hold me when medication would make me drowsy. He would urge me to eat when I did not want to. He helped me make healthier choices when I wanted to devour the whole house.

He actually took me to nice restaurants when I felt decent enough to get out.

He would always know everything about my medication and with him being able to literally hold it in my face at any point in the day… well there was no longer the option to forget.

Loki was the constant supply of water to my thirst for knowledge. Due to that type of relationship we really connected. Like really connected. We talked about everything to varying levels of importance and on both ends were voicemails with ridiculous ways to entice the other to call back.

Sometimes I would purposely ignore his calls just to see what the next stupid thing would be left in my mailbox… I listened to the recent one just left on my phone a minute ago.

"I know your games by now, so call me back. ...My declarations of love can wait until you tell me what sweet thing I am craving. I am at the store, so do hurry up before I decide to buy 5 of everything in the candy isle." There was a faint sound of the typical background noise in a store. "Please hurry… I fear I am going to need a bigger cart."

[wolfwhiteflowers]

fandom wank..stans and forumz..#spoilers

i keep posting of these things. I guess I keep messing it up. We’re human. ok.

im just all fed up with it. im tired of it. but hey it’s hiatus and i think it’s fine for now. Just gotta ignore the fandom wank or those stans/twitter(seriously twitter is the worst place to see the wank). really i don’t need the fandom that much ukno. just do stuff I enjoy. Just be me. Nice shippers are still around. The crappy shippers/stans are a few and loud.

I think there’s something with the two forums going on...with the C0nnie spoilers and shippers. It’s really weird.

first of all, i know people saying they’re stans like it’s a super fan and positive way. But really stans of somethings/someone, those stans are so annoying. I don’t think stans are a good thing. Or people who generalize and single out things of their fave and then trash others..is not cool. Most “shipwars” are about the shippers/grudges on the shippers. I don’t understand why some stans treat their faves like gods when eh their human/fictional. I also feel like I don’t know this fan. It reminds me of the show Bones, when Brennan’s cousin (sis) identity was like all about what and who Benjamin Franklin is. Um yeah I ..gotta stay away from twitter.

Sharing is caring. No one said you have to be a fan of one ship or one character. Generalizing a group of shippers will not make peace; u gonna make more fights. Block the crappy immature ones. It’s a story. Characters grow, writers may fail or have something great in plan. It’s not a game; a character doesn’t win/out-fame the world. It’s an ensemble show/Hollywood business. Anyway I’m tired of people shitting others when they don’t know them really. Sigh ..it just sucks. I like C ship and R ship but I can’t interact/talk anyone cos not a lot of people are fan of both ships or fan/openminded/not shitting of everyone. (but I guess that’s how fandom works.) Funny thing on the forum, if I wanna talk about R ship, the shippers don’t wanna see it.. or something. They’re thinking like stans already. They’re all generalizing or so. Idk.  The haters going wtf and the whole “liking post” thing ..kinda like some popularity drama. It all goes awkward. I mean for me it’s awkward to see it and don’t wanna join along the discussion. There’s the whole hive mind thing going/generalizing. I stg (twitter) drama is so weird and immature. It’s like a gang fight but like it’s story and everyone’s get their focus. (seriously i was talking about R ship on the forum and hoping it goes well and the other R shipper(this person is always rude btw) assumes I was being a fake and sarcastic. That sucks. And some fans have really bad anger issues..like I worry about them as humans ..they need to let it go. You don’t have to argue..be fools. Sometimes my hopes for a story or a ship doesn’t always come out the way I wanted and I just deal with it and move on. )

ok so idk some R stans are like must be d-con shippers or think C shippers are all the bad things when sldkfjlsj it’s just dumb competitive fighting and vs. Just stop. Why are people always wanna a win an argument. (be cocky and play victim). ugh wtf. Seriously I see both sides of those shippers and these people all are similar in their beliefs/politics irl.  Anyway, so I just think don’t get to invested in fandom/friends. Everyone got a list of different ships. 

And I think forums are like easily to get upset at. Everyone’s reading ur comment, people tend to want to argue/debate every little thing, and mods like no that’s off topic go here. Ugh. lol So eh forums.. Anyway ..so I’m just saying if ya wanna vent go to twitter or tumblr. idk. 

```````````````````````````````````````````````````

Anyway I noticed T$DF is ukno anti Carol/Caryl most of the time. Most antis go there. And there’s the zone forum which is very pro Caryl forum. It’s like T$DF is missing out the C fans of the fandom and therefore missing some info. It’s weird. So when we’re getting more info that LR isn’t in s10B that much, the fans from the zone or/and, others who are thinking logically,(like they want facts and spoilers and not being shippy/biased), were getting frustrated that T$DF isn’t really saying that C*nnie isn’t in 10B that much. Usually people would put her in the death watch as in 50/50 way. Rosita was already talked about and stuff because of the actress’s show, but not C0nnie? So in a way, it’s like T$DF is being in denial or biased. I guess it is but still nothing really confirmed about C0nnie’s fate, and the spoilery fans already know in their heads that it’s 50/50 with her fate. So when the other fans and Carol fans who are just wanting to bring C0nnie’s fate up (in a logical way I’m assuming) because ep 8 and 9 are coming soon and to warn others I guess, but T$DF and antis don’t wanna hear it and assume the other fans (mostly Carol fans out about) are being petty and bringing it up because of the D ship, etc. When it’s like T$DF are being emotional about it and like being in denial. Yeah I also think the fans discussing in the death thread..it’s gonna be a rough thread to read in no matter what. People are gonna speculate ur fave will die. But *some people who said it, doesn’t mean they think they WANT that character to die. Some people are thinking with facts and spoilers about it and speculating ur fave will die. But whatever, I guess it’s depends on the group on the forum and how everyone treat each other. I think some fans from T$DF, who are C0nnie fans, already got info in mind and so it’s up to them to decide what to do with it. I don’t wanna keep mentioning it or bringing drama. They already know what’s up so, ok.

For me, I want to know the spoilery facts and keep it logically. Rip the bandaid. Being in denial isn’t gonna be good in the long run and for the fans. 

BTW, C0nnie was like 70% dead (with the Zone’s spoiler) but now with that reviewer’s tweet hinting? at Bowl’s filming summary post, and T$DF can’t confirm(doesn’t know it) the spoiler that Zone had. I guess it’s stuck in 50/50. so ok whatever. 

I’m gotta say a character dying in the mid season is the worst, I realized. It’s easy to fall into that trap of hoping and wishing for the fave to make it out. I’m glad Carol isn’t part of this death theory so far. I guess forums tend to be biased because of like what the group is like. 

[branlovestowrite]

The Decoy Groom (4/5): A CS Fanfic

Hello friends!  Apologies again for the delay! This has been a really busy time personally, and I haven't had much time to devote to writing. Here is part 4. No guarantees, but I will try to get the final installment up by the end of next week.

This is my CS AU loosely (very loosely) based on the movie The Decoy Bride (starring Kelly MacDonald and David Tennant; it’s super cute and highly recommended). Brennan Jones is in this story, and, as it’s a no-magic AU, Tim Omundson will be playing that role.

Title: The Decoy Groom

Rating: M for chapters 1, 2, and 4. Chapter 3 is rated E for smut.

Summary: After a failed turn as a musician in Los Angeles, Killian Jones has returned to his home: Storybrooke Island, a remote, tiny island off the coast of Maine. Emma Swan is a famous actress that just wants one day out of the spotlight so she can get married. Storybrooke Island, just two miles long and accessible only by ferry, seems like the answer to her prayers. But will she really be able to keep her nuptials a private affair? And can Killian find the solace he craves when there’s a world-famous actress in town?

Need to catch up? Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Also on AO3

__________ __________ __________ __________ __________ 

Emma huffed in annoyance as she walked away from the lighthouse. Fortunately, Storybrooke Island being so tiny made it very easy to navigate. She knew that, as long as she followed the main road, she’d be at Granny’s soon. She kept to the grassy shoulder, cursing her bare feet. She was going to have the world’s best pedicure as soon as she got back to LA. 

  The pants Killian gave her sagged on her hips. She’d tied the drawstring as tight as she could, but she still feared for their ability to hold. The shirt he’d given her was likewise enormous, her figure swimming within it. She was sure that she looked like a wild person, storming along the side of the road with her bare feet, baggy clothes, and sex hair.

  Shit. She had sex hair. Of course she did. Before his girlfriend walked in, Killian had given her the best orgasm of her life. She very vividly remembered thrashing her head against the bedspread as he’d tended to her. The man had an extremely talented tongue. A small part of her wished the girlfriend hadn’t walked in so soon, so Emma could have seen what else he could do.

  But she immediately cursed herself at the thought. Killian was in a relationship. He’d cheated on his (very young) girlfriend, who’d sounded genuinely hurt when she’d found them together like that. Less than 24 hours ago, Emma had learned of her own fiance’s infidelity, and now she was helping another man do the same. She felt utterly wretched. How could Zelena have gone along with Walsh when she was fully aware that he was attached to, marrying, even, another woman? Just the thought that she’d caused pain for this Ruby was eating Emma from the inside out.

Were all men like this? Were the cynical anecdotes calling all men dogs speaking the truth? No, that couldn’t be the case. Her friend and lawyer David Nolan was the perfect example that there were good, honest men in the world. He loved his wife, Mary Margaret, with everything in him, and doted on her and their two children, Leo and Ava. David would never, not in a million years, cheat on Mary Margaret or do anything to hurt his family. Emma knew that without a doubt.

  So yes, there were good men in the world, but unfortunately Emma had a talent for finding the rotten ones. She stomped along the road, uncaring now if anyone saw her. Let her come upon Sidney Glass now. She’d strike a pose for him in all her crazy glory. Let it make all the papers. She didn’t care anymore.

  As she continued her trek, passing by a few houses set along the main road, she heard footsteps behind her, and turned to see Killian catching up.

  “Swan! Please, wait.”

  “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say!”

  “But, Emma, please, I need to explain.”

  “Explain what?! How you willingly cheated on your adolescent girlfriend? What’s the matter? Get tired of spending time with a youngin’ and wanted to experience something with someone your own age?”

  “Damn infuriating woman!” Killian yelled before she could continue her tirade. “Ruby is NOT my girlfriend!”

  Emma stared at him, unable to think of a coherent response. Killian was huffing, out of breath like he’d run to catch up with her. After a drawn-out silence, she finally spoke up. “She’s not?”

  “No!” His face twisted in an expression of disgust. “I’ve known her since she was very little. She’s like a sister to me in many ways. I could NEVER be with her in that way.”

  “Then what the hell was going on back there? Because that wasn’t how a sister speaks to a brother.”

  “She is very young, and I think she's trying to make a point of owning her sexuality. She made a pass at me yesterday, and I failed to let her down properly. I led her to think I was more open to participating in those…” here he waved his hand in the air in front of his face, “…activities with her than I actually am.”

  “So you see her as a sister, but she doesn’t see you as a brother?”

  “Precisely.”

  Emma was dumbfounded. The emotional turmoil of the day had reared up once more, and she felt the stirrings of tears in her cheeks and nose. “So… you aren’t dating her?”

  “No, Emma. Please believe me. I would never cheat on someone I was with. That’s not the kind of man I am or want to be. Being a man of honor is one of the most important things to me.”

  “Honor… right. So… I suppose my actions weren’t very honorable, were they? Seducing you like I did and then using you to make myself feel better.” Damnit! She promised herself not to be self-pitying, but there it was.

  “Swan, please don’t feel bad. What we did, before Ruby walked in, was incredible. The most amazing experience of my life.” Killian paused, appearing to be deciding something, before he grabbed her hand in his and squeezed it gently. “I am truly sorry you were given the wrong impression, and that my thoughtless actions led to that.”

  Emma pulled his hand closer and held it against her chest, closing her eyes and breathing in his masculine scent. He smelled so good, woodsy with a hint of ocean air. For a brief moment, standing with this man she felt an unexplainable connection to, she had a strong longing for home. A longing fiercer than she'd ever felt before. Visions flashed in her mind of settling down in this very island. Living a quiet life, away from the press. Sidney wouldn't stay here forever. What if she stayed after he left? 

  Killian stepped in closer, tentatively wrapping his other arm around her waist. "What are you thinking of?"

  "What was it like, growing up on this island?"

  "Um… dull at times, most certainly, but also quite idyllic. Life here moves at a different pace."

  "What's your favorite memory?"

   He paused for a moment, considering. "I remember trips to the farmer's market on the mainland with Angie. It was an all day affair. She'd get us boys up early and we'd take the ferry over. We'd go to the market with her and load up on produce and sometimes fresh meats and cheeses. I loved sampling all the different wares from the vendors. After we were done there, she'd take us boys to the library and let us spend an hour picking out books to bring back with us. We'd ride the ferry back and show dad all our acquisitions. After mine and Liam's lackluster upbringing, it was quite nice to have so much… normalcy."

  Emma sighed deeply, picturing herself in the same situation. "That would be lovely." She opened her eyes to meet his gaze. "Maybe it's all the insane events of the last day, but I can't help but think about how nice it would be to hide away from all the craziness here."

  "Are you saying you'd want to… stay?"

  "I don't know," she answered honestly. "I have friends and responsibilities in LA, but this seems like such a nice refuge."

  __________ __________ __________ __________ __________

Killian felt his heart speed up in his chest at the thought of Emma staying.He stood in awe of her, still beautiful even as she stood there in baggy clothes with messy hair. He'd treasure a chance to court her properly, and his mind ran away with visions of taking her a proper date.

  Footsteps in the gravel road burst their bubble. The land sloped in just such a way that they could not see the person presently cresting the hill. In a rush Killian recalled why he was running to warn Emma.

  "Swan, I don't know how, but there are more reporters on the island. Ruby mentioned it, and I came to warn you."

  Her face paled in response. "Oh god… a minute ago I was ready to take on Sidney, but I don't think I could do it anymore. At least not dressed like this!"

  Taking stock of their surrounding, Killian spotted a small house sitting by the side of the road. He pointed to it. "That home there is vacant. Go hide in it."

  "Won't it be locked?"

  "No one locks their doors here."

  She eyed him warily, but turned to do as he instructed. Killian followed, seeing her safely inside the home before turning to face their intruder.

  Brennan Jones crested the hill, smiling when he saw his son.

  “Killian!” he called out. “Great news!”

  Killian stayed by the side of the house Emma was hiding in and waited for his father to approach. “What’s up, Dad?”

  “I just made an easy $5,000, and I’ve got a chance for another twenty grand!”

  Eyeing his father wearily, Killian asked “How?”

  “I called my old friend Sidney Glass last night and told him what you told me about Emma Swan being on the island. He paid me five grand off the bat and told me he’d give me a cut of whatever he gets for selling his pictures. He said he could easily get a hundred grand for it, and that would mean twenty for me!”

  Killian gaped at his father. “You… what? How do you even know Sidney Glass?”

  “We worked together for a bit when I first came to the States, before I met Angie and moved here. I knew he was a journalist, so when you told me that last night, I gave him a call.”

  “I…dad… I can’t believe you! I told you last night to leave her alone! Why would you do this?”

  Brennan looked at his son as if he’d sired a moron. “Because Sidney is paying me,” he replied, drawing his words out slowly.

  “Dad, if you need money, I could’ve helped you get some. We’d have figured it out. You didn’t need to sell out that poor woman in the process.”

  “What’s going on with you? I figured you’d be happy for me.”

  “Well I’m bloody well not! Why the hell did you need that money anyway?”

  Seeming to finally comprehend the fact that Killian was angry with him, Brennan struck back. “Because I need to get the hell off this island!” he yelled in response.

  “What?” Killian asked, the flames in his belly instantly receding as he registered the pain in his father’s voice.

  “I need to get away!” Brennan cried, choking on his tears. “I only moved here because Angie wanted to. I see her everywhere I look. I can’t stand it anymore. I’m going to sell the house and move to the mainland, back to a city.”

  “Dad,” Killian said, at a loss for words. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his father. He knew Brennan was having a hard time dealing with Angie’s death, but he’d never known how much pain the other man was in.

  “I miss her,” Brennan choked into his son’s shoulder.

  Killian patted his father’s back. Movement from one of the windows caught his eye, and he saw Emma peeking out from behind the curtain. It appeared she’d heard everything, and looked just as conflicted as he felt.

  When Brennan seemed to run out of tears, Killian released him. “Why don’t you go back to the house, dad? I need to take care of something with Ruby, and then I’ll head home and we can figure this out. We don’t need to sell out Emma Swan to get you what you want.”

  “Okay,” Brennan said with a hiccup. “I’ll see you there. Fish sandwiches or stew for dinner?”

  Killian cracked a smile. “How about burgers, at Granny’s? My treat.”

  “Alright son. I’ll see you later.”

  Brennan stepped away, walking more slowly toward his house than he’d been before encountering his son. Killian breathed a deep sigh before turning toward the door to the house and knocking briefly.

  __________ __________ __________ __________ __________

Emma opened the door to a very anxious Killian.

  “Swan… I am so sorry. I truly had no idea my father even knew Sidney Glass, and if I’d had an idea of what he was going to do, I would have told you straightaway.”

  “I believe you,” Emma replied, calmly. 

  “How much did you hear?” he asked, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

  “Everything.” She stared at him across the threshold. “You’re really sure we’re okay to squat in this house? I find it hard to believe no one lives here.”

  “I can guarantee you that no one does,” Killian replied, gesturing toward the covered furniture in the living room. “The previous owner died last year, and people aren’t exactly clamoring to move to the island.”

  “But the house still has electricity. Wouldn’t that have been shut off with no one paying the bill?”

  “The electricity for the island comes from a generator. The residents have a collective that they pay into each month to maintain it. I’d imagine everyone just increased their contribution when Mrs. White died. It’s not like anyone was in the house to use it.” He sighed and slumped into a covered chair. “Anyway, we’ll be fine to stay here for today.”

  “Okay, good. I wonder if I can wait out those reporters.”

  “Would you like me to fetch Elsa and bring her here?”

  Emma felt her face relax for the first time that day. “Would you?”

  “Of course, love. I feel terrible about what my dad did.”

  “It’s not your fault. This entire day has been such a disaster.”

  “Even so, I wish I could go back to yesterday and stop him from placing that phone call.”

  Emma breathed slowly, unsure how to respond. They stood for a moment, in awkward silence, and she felt an overwhelming urge to kiss the man. At the same time, her cheeks began to flare, reflecting the shame she felt at having so wantonly seduced him. She snuck a peak at his face and recognized the same play of emotions on Killian’s face. They both opened their mouths at the same time to speak, then both closed their lips. Just when she thought she would scream from the discomfort of the situation, Killian broke the tension.

  “Bloody hell… I want to kiss you so badly.”

  __________ __________ __________ __________ __________

Emma gasped at his words, and Killian almost took that as permission to step forward and capture her mouth with his own. He imagined her moaning as he wrapped his lips around her pout, sucking gently. In contrast to their earlier actions, he would keep the kiss soft, tenderly tracing first her upper then her lower lip with his tongue. He pictured her tilting her head, allowing him to deepen the kiss, and him threading a hand through her hair, gently cupping the back of her head. Her hands would slide around his neck and onto his shoulder blades, scrambling for purchase. Killian’s other hand would slide down to her hip, pulling her body into his own.

  “Killian… Killian… Are you there?”

  He startled back to awareness, staring at the siren before him. He’d never had an experience like there, where he drifted off fantasizing about a woman. “Sorry love. You were saying?”

  Emma grimaced, and he felt a tiny pang that he was making her repeat something unpleasant. “I was saying that I don’t think…” she sighed heavily before continuing. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to repeat what we did earlier. At least not today. I need to take some time to get my head on straight. This last day has been insane. It wouldn’t be fair to you if I jumped into something new before getting myself settled.”

  The pang in his chest expanded to a full-blown heartache. Although her words made complete sense, Killian couldn’t help feeling rejected. When would he ever see her again once she left the island? It’s not like he could follow her back to LA and show up on her doorstep. Considering all her struggles with the press, her home was no doubt behind a veritable fortress of security measures.

  He cleared his throat and looked at his shoes. “Of course. I understand. Should I go and fetch Elsa now?”

  “Um… yes, please.” He turned to open the door. She spoke again as he was reaching for the handle. “Killian?”

  There was traitorous flutter of hope in his heart. “Yes, love?”

  She opened her mouth to say something, then thought better of it. Just as he’d determined to turn again and continue on his new mission, she decided what to say. “Thank you. For… for everything. These last 24 hours have been excruciating, but you have been my port in the storm.”

  Killian closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. After living on an island for most of his life, and spending his formative years working on a fishing boat, the fact that she used a nautical metaphor touched him. It spoke to how well matched they were, making her rejection sting more. 

  “I am glad to have had a chance to help you.”

  He turned before she could say anything else and walked away from the house, toward the Inn, where he expected Elsa to be. The walk felt like it took mere seconds, barely giving him any time to clear the tears swimming in his eyes.

  Stepping up to Granny’s, he encountered a bigger crowd than he’d ever seen in the diner, even during the tourist season. Every table was full, including the three wrought-iron tables on the porch. Granny appeared behind the counter as he walked in. 

  “There you are! Your dad was asking where you’d got to today.” 

  Killian walked around the bar to face her, noting that the bar itself was also brimming with people. “What’s all this?”

  “Reporters!” Granny said, not bothering to hide her disgust, though, by the looks of it, she was going to have a record-setting day for sales. “They’re all here camping out because they think some damn actress is staying on the island!”

  “Emma Swan! We go’ a tip that she’d be here and there’d be a ‘ell of a story!” Chimed in one man, slumping over the bar top, his head resting in his hands lazily.

  Killian looked questioningly to Granny, but she only grunted in annoyance before refilling the man’s beer. Having been dismissed, Killian continued toward the back of the diner. Most of the patrons would assume he was visiting the restroom, but he took a turn at the last second and ascended the back stairs toward the Inn.

  Once upstairs, he knocked on the door to the room he knew Elsa was staying in.

  From the other side of the door, he heard her yell “Go the fuck away you vultures, or I will sue your ass so hard that your grandchildren will still be paying your debts!”

  “It’s me,” he hissed. “Killian Jones.”

  Elsa cracked the door and peered out, before finally opening it entirely and letting him enter. “Thank God. Where’s Emma. Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. She’s safe. We found a house that she’s hiding in.”

  “Thank the Lord.”

  “Why are all these people here? I wouldn’t think Sidney Glass would be the kind of man to share a story.”

  “Fucking Walsh tipped them off. I’m sure this is part of his plan to punish Emma for wising up to his bullshit.”

  “That bastard,” Killian growled in response. “What are you going to do?”

  “I have a plan. Can you get me to Emma?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay good,” Elsa replied, picking up a leather duffel. 

  “What’s in there?”

  “A change of clothes and some makeup and hair supplies. I’d imagine Emma is in need of freshening up, and she’ll want to look her best for the next phase of the plan.”

  “Which is?”

  “I’ll tell you on the way. Let’s go.”

  __________ __________ __________ __________ __________

Emma could do nothing but pace the length of the small living room while she awaited Killian’s return. Her stomach grumbled, and she realized with a pang that she hadn’t eaten anything all day. In vain she looked through the pantry and cabinets of the kitchen, but found nothing to eat.

  As she was closing the last cabinet, she heard the front door to the house open, and her heart jumped into her throat. She eyed the back door, preparing to bolt again, when she heard Elsa’s voice.

  “Emma?!”

  Relief flooded her body, and she turned to embrace her friend.

  “Oh! You’re okay!” Elsa cooed, hugging her tighter. “I was so worried!”

  Emma couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m okay, Els. I’m okay.”

  “Good.” Elsa replied. “Today has gone to utter shit.”

  “I know. Killian told me about all the reporters. I know now how Sidney got here, but I have no idea how they knew about it.”

  “Wait… you know who tipped off Sidney?”

  Emma looked up to see Killian over Elsa’s shoulder. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Erm… my dad, he… he knew Sidney from when they were young. He called and let Glass know Emma was here after I mentioned to him last night that I thought I saw her.”

  Elsa rounded on the man. “You what?! Did you know about this all along?!”

  “No! No! I swear, I had no clue.” 

  “He’s telling the truth, Els.”

  Elsa looked at her incredulously, so Emma recounted what she’d overheard Brennan Jones say to his son. Elsa still looked wary once she’d finished, but seemed pacified.

  “Okay, we can work with that.” She paused, and Emma could see the wheels turning in her friend’s head. 

  “What are you planning?”

  Squaring her shoulders, Elsa turned to fully face Emma. “It’s time for you to stop running. Even without Killian’s dad interfering, Walsh sold you out. It’s time to expose him for the piece of shit he is.”

  “How do you propose to do that?” Killian asked.

  She looked at him slyly. “With you.”

  “Pardon?”

  “Your dad wants money to buy a house somewhere off the island, right? We will pay you enough money to buy a house cash if you will agree to pretend to be Emma’s husband for one year.”

  “What?” Emma asked, panic lacing her tone.

  “We’re gonna get you cleaned up, walk right up to the diner, and have a press conference.”

__________ __________ __________ __________ __________

@artistic-writer @bubblegum1425 @captainkillianswanjones @fairytaleprincessatlast @flslp87@gingerchangeling@hollyethecurious @hookswan25 @initiala@jonirobinson64 @kday426 @kingofmyheart14 @kmomof4@kymbersmith-90 @laschatzi @nerdyhuntress @nikkiemms@objectsatsleepstayatsleep @princesseslikepirates @resident-of-storybrooke @searchingwardrobes @sherlockianwhovian@shireness-says @snidgetsafan @snowbellewells @teamhook@thejacketandthehook @thejollyroger-writer @thislassishooked@welllpthisishappening @winterbythesea @winterbaby89@wingedlioness @withheartfulloflove @wyntereyez

[light-and-heartful]

Am I the only one who thinks the Graphic Novels for the Amazing World of Gumball that are written by Megan Brennan are WAY better than the cartoon it was based off of?

granted I’ve only seen the first two (via readscomicsonline.to), but at least the full stories on here are more wholesome, actually have well-meanings, wholesomeness and good lessons, unlike the TV Show & Comic Series that is uses way too much edge humor & cruelty for their stories

and I say the ones written by Megan Brennan, cause she knows what Gumball is supposed to be like, I mean when I saw the series I thought this was I was going to expect from the series, not meme-filled, mean-spirited crap that the TV Show is known for now

I’d say the one nitpick with I have with it (and the comics for that matter) is that they try to put Anais & Nicole too high on a pestital to a point where they don't have any reprecutions to their actions & make it seem that they're always right while Gumball, Darwin & even Ritchard still get punished in over-the-top ways & always getting the one blamed for it, but still they’re wholesome and has good morals to them, and that’s definitely better than what the show has to it 

I just love it

also I had this idea for Cheat Code being adapted into a TV movie of where these changes happen,

when Gumball & Darwin try to think how they can get the other students to join the science fair after they ruined the game for them, Gumball decides to give the other students the cheat code, so they’ll all be on equal turf the next time they battle, but only if the other students promise to sign up for the Science Fair, and it works, until the next day when the other students decide to fight as a group with their powered up Monsters against Gumball & Darwin (kind of like the Horde Battles in “Pokemon X&Y” but in multiplayer form) to get back at them for destroying their original save files for their games, but after a fight scene inside the game where the powered up Sparky is fighting against all the students other monsters [also I’d like to mention that all the scenes where the Monster Fight Friends monsters are fighting (including the final mech battle) are all animated in a fluent epic anime style kind of like what happened in the episode “The Fury”], eventually Sparky wins, and after a fakeout where it seems the other students games broke again & they are about to pummel Gumball & Darwin but it turns out it just turned off after the battle was over when they turned back on again & assumes that because they’re the same level there was little damage to them this time, all the students are cool with Gumball & Darwin now (as they say it as they start to battle eachother) and everything seems fine since they got everyone to sign on for the science fair & it’s been three days so they’re not grounded anymore, but then the scene where they’re in class with Penny and as they’re being dismissed from their class, Anais comes to Gumball & Darwin saying they’re too busy fighting with their monsters to do anything in the Science Fair Meeting, to a point where Mr. Small is irritated by this, so she yells at the two then goes to tell Nicole that they snuck the game out of them during their grounding, and as Gumball & Darwin hold her down, the power from the previous fight got not only gets Sparky out of the game but all the other monsters from the other students’ games (without them knowing thinking the batteries on them are dead) as well, and the there is a big battle with Gumball, Darwin, and Anais to stop the monsters (with it being Gumball & Darwin going on their own first to stop it after Anais and Penny are crossed with them, but when Anais sighs and says “I leave them for two days with cheat code to get my trophy and they just screw it up as usual” Penny just gives a blank stare, then an angry >:( face with a slow turn, with the scene ending with Anais saying “What?”, and then it cuts to the two boys heading out at first with their water guns, some matches, bags of dirt, and electrical cords, and does well until they run out & they’re smacked all the way across the town with Anais coming to get them literally off the ground, and sort of apologizing to Gumball & Darwin saying that she let the hope of winning causing the problem, and when Darwin asks if you figured that on your own, Anais saying yep, and then it cuts to a flashback where Penny as a Wolf chewing Anais’s leg as she scream) with three transforming mechs (kind of like the ones from the Dexter’s Laboratory episode “Last but not Beast”) to fight the other monsters that combine together into a bigger robot to fight Sparky, all made by Anais for the Science Fair [& they’d still have Gumball & Darwin (on the ground after damaging both their mechs leaving them on the ground & watch and feel guilty about the whole thing as Anais is about to take a spirit ball-esc attack to the face) apologizing to Sparky about forcing him to fight and getting him powered down to his original self, the other students still wanting to do the science fair (because of the old passing fads things that happens in cartoons) and ends with the three of them not being grounded anymore and Gumball & Darwin getting to play with Sparky], also Anais gets grounded Extra-Grounded as well as Gumball & Darwin when the two of them tell Nicole about the whole incident (including how Anais gave them the cheat code in order to win the trophy) as Anais is getting out of the trashed mech suit since she was was just as much as to blame as Gumaball & Darwin for sharing a cheat code that can crash other people’s games & summon destructive monsters onto the world all to win a Trophy, also the opening credits is a parody of the original Pokemon intro with Pokemon characters, and the end credits have cute animation of Sparky playing around with toys and such, enjoying himself

do you think that would be good?

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 4

The Case of the Puzzling Painting 

Welcome back to Loam Hall where our Sylvan Sleuths are still hanging out in a room with a dead body. When we left off, Gangie had been snooping into Sly’s conversation about Fletcher Cottonbottom and now, he uses his Criminal Contacts feature to see what he knows, if anything, about a recent return. With a 26 he knows that his family used to be well respected but after the whole business with the insurance fraud and Sly busting it, the family kind of fell out of favor. So Fletcher was in a weird position where he was rich and a part of high society and had enough dirt on everyone to get them to do things for him but couldn’t actually show his face because he was disgraced. Gangie also knows that it’s rumored that Fletcher’s weapons running scheme was actually a front for moving art. 

With regard to more recent news about Fletcher, Gangie was never in direct contact with him but he knows that 3-4 years ago, his most trusted henchmen started going missing--people attributed it to some kind of “Cottonbottom Curse” and that rumor is part of why Gangie decided to get out of dodge in the first place.

Buck does an insight check on the rest of the PCs and, with an 18, doesn’t clock anyone there as especially suspicious (Lars isn’t there but like..it’s Lars). Ian tries to give Squire Badger his last rites but ends up pulling the knife out, putting it back in, flapping blood everywhere with his feathers, and sending Constance into a badger rage. Buck tries to help smooth over things, claiming his big screw up was a new style of avant garde church ritual (Ian appreciates the support--who ministers to the ministers, you know?) and in the process sees his knife for the first time. Which, you know. He obviously suspected before but never nice to see.

While this is going on, Daisy sneaks off to try and check on the secret door and everyone sees her do it/eventually follows her but we’ll get back to her once we check in with Lars who is en route to the kitchen. Once in the hallway, they do a perception check and, on a 15, there are 3 doors and Ally gets to pick one. There’s a kitchen where Gilfoyle is talking to a group, a door where someone is crying behind it, and a door where they can hear nothing. Ally, the galaxy brained genius, goes for the quiet door. That’s the money door and with their ears pressed against the door, they can hear Edwina and Carolyn--the two mice maids that overheard Buck’s conversation with the Badger--whispering about what happened there and wondering if they should pay back the money they were paid to by Buck.

Gilfoyle walks out and sees Lars snooping but on a Nat 20 deception check, Lars is able to play dumb and skate by suspiciousness. Also, with a dirty 20 perception check, when the mice maids leave, Lars sees that they’ve been stealing silverware. 

OK, back to Daisy who is getting to the séance room as quickly as possible. She has two rounds before people catch up to her so she’s trying to make the most of it by Investigating the painting she noticed was bolted to the wall earlier. She first rolls an 11, getting no new information. This is so frustrating to her. She’s good at this dammit! But being around Sly is rattling her terribly. She has feelings for him--strong ones. But she isn’t herself around him. How can she be with him if he makes her so unlike herself? Her introspection is enough to earn her advantage from Brennan on her second roll and boom! 25! Daisy is back. 

With that roll, she notices that the eyes in the painting actually move and can be used as a spying post on the other side. Then Sly runs in and they start bickering immediately. Daisy throws a crystal ball at him and absolutely brains him on a nat 20--the first combat roll of this very RP oriented season. 

Buck and Ian are still in the room with the body for the moment and Buck asks Ian about the first few names on the list Gangie gave him. There were a bunch of members of the Burrows family--a working class family that all died of a consumptive illness. And then the Diggories who died in a carriage accident. The connecting thread? All badgers. Buck then zooms away to follow Daisy, Ian follows, and Lars, seeing them as they leave the kitchens, also follows. 

So all the PCs are in the séance room now and they kinda have the sense of, “OK y’all, we’re all screwed but we’re al screwed together so we better throw our lot in with each other and start working together so we don’t die because no one else here is on our side.” Buck proposes an alliance and they all agree to share info. Sly asks about Buck’s knife and Buck admits it’s his but says he didn’t do it. Sly believes him--not because he wouldn’t do it but because he has no motive (that he knows about anyway. Buck doesn’t spill about the contract). 

Gangie shares the list of names from before with the whole group.It’s like half badgers and then some other critters (full list here). Sly doesn’t share any of his secret info Grant got texted. Daisy and Buck don’t share about the key (though Sly you’ll remember sat her steal it). Buck does however mention his suspicion about the fact that Gilfoyle wasn’t around when Squire Badger gave his speech and Daisy does the same about the fact that he said he would call the cops but the cops haven’t arrived yet. Lar’s remembers that Jez’s husband is gunning for at seat in parliament and wonders if this is related somehow. Daisy mentions the eyes in the painting and everyone is like way to bury the lede dude! Especially when they’ve just all spilled their secrets. Everyone checks on the painting and with a 25 Gangie can intuit that this is probably used to spy on rich people when they’re mid-séance and vulnerable and spilling secrets (which he doesn’t share but Daisy comes to a similar conclusion on her own). Buck on a 23 can smell ledgers (idk how but the DM said so and I’m reporting it) and guesses that that’s where the Squire’s real office is which means that’s probably where the contract he needs to find and destroy is too. 

 The group makes a list of their loose ends which are what’s on the other side of the painting, what’s up with Fletcher, and the smell of ozone. Plus Ian remembers that the date on the bust in the study is wrong and shares with the class. 

Lars tries to get to the other side of the room by ripping the painting off the hinges with a very impressive 26 but there is fully a wall behind it and the noise brings Gilfoyle, Harding, and the Badger kids running. Lars notes that in the stone behind the painting it says “⅓”  and then hurriedly puts the painting back. Daisy thinks that might refer to a secret third floor or basement accessible by the elevator (but my first thought was that there were 2 other spying paintings in the house somewhere).

Everyone in the room hears the Gilfoyle and co. coming and try to act natural. There is a group stealth check that they all tank so heavily that all the suspicious staff and kids need to do to suss them out is roll above a 5.

AND THEY ROLL A TWO. 

With that, Lucretia appears, totally buys that they’re doing very important spiritual work in there, and in fact guards the door for them. They use the privacy bought by their very vigilant sentry to plan their next steps. Sly, Daisy, and Ian will check out the study while they rest of them check out the elevator. As they exit, Lucretia asks if they got the answers they needed out of the spirits.

Oh yes, says Daisy, echoing Lucretia’s nonsense prediction from last episode. Either something good or bad might happen. Either way, I’m excited! 

Case Notes

How baller of a player move is it to say a line so poignant that the DM is forced to let you roll with advantage? I have been on the other side of that as the DM and it’s so great. MAD respect to Rekha for that. AND THEN THE DICE COOPERATED. You simply love to see it. 

The other best Rekha line is Daisy to Sly upon being called out about stealing the key in his normal, coy, quippy way: You saw me bitch.

Shout out to Grant also for being constantly on as Sly. The guy is on point always. Impeccable.

I am SO SO SO happy Daisy and Sly are on the same mission team. If I was friends with either of them I’d be like, “This is a toxic relationship, they make you too crazy.” But as an outside viewer I want them to be within crystal ball throwing distance always.  

The question I’m sure we’re all asking: Is Brennan enough of a minx to invoke the butler did it trope? I know everyone at the table is thinking it even if none of them have said it outright. I figured the reason the cops haven’t showed up yet was the storm but who knows?

Two pieces of housekeeping, only Buck and Gangie know what the room behind the painting is with their high rolls and, after the bit of passing it back and forth with Buck, Daisy has the key. 

I really can’t do the bit about Gangie’s mom justice. I wish there was a comedy Emmy for actual play DnD shows so D20 could get the accolades it deserves just for that bit. 

Brennan indicated that the conversation between the mice maids was the most interesting info (Gilfoyle convo to staff was too public to be juicy/they could get the info from one of the many gathered staff people and crying is info on its own--though I am curious about who the crying person was) but I’m wondering what he meant by that. Because the fact that Buck paid them might be interesting if Buck did it. But we know he didn’t. Is it the fact that they were in the room at all? Again, info that the party knows if not Lars specifically.  The fact that they were stealing silverware? What’s Brennan’s game here?

[bonesloveeverandemilyanddavid]

Emily Deschanel On Season 4 Of Animal Kingdom and the Legacy of Bones

Bones star Emily Deschanel tracked down criminals as forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan on the Fox series. Now Deschanel, 42, plays Angela, a drug addict who cozies up to the Cody family in season four of TNT’s crime drama Animal Kingdom (May 28).

You spent 12 seasons upholding the law on Bones. What’s it like now to be on the other side?

It’s a lot of fun. I have two sons [Henry, 7, and Calvin, 3] and they love playing bad guys a lot of times. There’s something about human nature that makes you enjoy doing it. But the fun part about it is to see it from the character’s perspective, like, why are they doing these things?

I don’t think anyone sets out to be evil or do bad things. Maybe a few people do, but they have reasons why they do what they do and they probably think that they’re doing something for a good reason. So, that’s what’s been really fun, to see from this character’s perspective why she’s doing certain things. It’s been unclear as we’ve been working how bad she is, what she’s up to, and what is she scheming?

 Who is Angela?

She’s basically a family friend. She’s a recovering heroin addict who just got out of prison. She said she went to prison for breaking and entering, but you never know what to believe exactly.

What are scenes like with Ellen Barkin, the head of the Cody family?

I’m a huge fan. What an amazingly talented actor and strong female. We get to battle. It’s fun to do rehearsals with her. We’re at odds, so there are times where her character [Smurf] is throwing things to get me out of the room.

When Bones wrapped, what was it that you wanted most to do?

At the end of 12 seasons, I was just run ragged. I wanted to sleep for months and spend time with my kids. I was able to calm down, get healthy, get better. I’m on my road to being healthy and finding balance in my life.

You and your sister, Zooey, acted together on Bones. Any future plans to work together?

We talk about it all the time. I don’t know about acting together, but we are talking about working together in different ways. So that’s definitely on the table.

 How much of Angela’s plan do you know?

I’ve come back in to infiltrate. I want to get in there but it’s unclear exactly what I’m after. Angela was the best friend of Ellen Barkin’s character’s dead daughter, so she plays a family friend, essentially. She’s been around the family since they were really young. She was the drug buddy of the daughter who died of a heroin overdose. So she is not met with open arms at the Cody house.

She decides to seduce one of the brothers to get in there. She has a lot of affection for J, because he was Angela’s best friend’s son and, in her mind, she helped raise him. It probably means that she would have him shoot her up and then they’d watch cartoons together. But in her mind, she helped raise him. She was his auntie, so to speak, because his mother had been estranged from the family for many years when she died.

You had your own TV family for 12 years. What was it like to slide into a new show, where the cast had already been together for three seasons?

It’s a totally different thing, but they’ve been very welcoming. I, obviously, love working with Ellen, and every other actor’s been so warm, sweet and very inclusive. I mostly have worked with Shawn Hatosy, who’s just lovely, and I work with Finn Cole, who plays J. They’ve all been so great. I’ve also done quick scenes with some of the other characters, too, and they’re really lovely. I feel very welcome there.

It’s a totally different thing. It feels weird to come in but this is exactly the kind of job that I wanted to find, where I’m not working every day, because I did that for 12 years and I didn’t get to see my kids very much. Hence, I took two years off, so I could spend time with them.

But it’s a funny job. I worked yesterday and I don’t come back until next week, and then I’ll probably have more in the next episode. Each episode is different. Also, it’s weird because I’m used to seeing the crew every day and being around the same people, where you have a sure hand. So it’s different, but I love new experiences and new situations, so it’s been a lot of fun.

You said you took two years off to spend time with your kids, so were you looking to come back or was it just this role that appealed to you?

I just had mentioned to my representative, who was very patient with me—because I’ve not been interested in jobs and I’ve been saying no for a long time. I said, “Get me a four-episode arc on a show. That’s what I want to do. I don’t want to move to Romania for nine months.”

So pretty soon after I said that, this came up. It’s more than four episodes. I come in in the second episode and I’m in most of the season for the rest of the 13 episodes. So it’s definitely more than I initially wanted to do. These are the things I wanted: I didn’t want to go far away. I wanted to be coming into something. I wanted to be a guest star. I didn’t want to sign a contract and have to show up all the time. And I wanted to play a completely different character on something totally different, and that’s exactly what this was. It’s almost like I manifested it to happen. Not to get all The Secret on you—I’m not even somebody who believes in that stuff, but it was kind of amazing that it just happened.

­­Like you said, I was on the “right” side of the law and now I’m on the other side of the law and it’s a lot of fun. I played a character; literally her name was Temperance, which means sobriety, essentially. And now I’m playing a heroin addict. I’m having a real fun time diving into the character and figuring out what makes her tick and where she’s coming from. I love human behavior and, of course, I have compassion for any character I play, so I love coming in with that perspective.

When you look back at Bones, what do you hope its legacy will be?

I think that there’s been lots of shows that came before Bones that certainly inspired our show and certainly have their place in television: from The X-Files to Moonlighting. I think that Bones is unique for its tone. I think at that time, crime shows took themselves pretty seriously and we had a lighter tone. The creator of the show, Hart Hanson, liked to call it a “crime-edy.”

I think that it was uniquely balanced with drama and comedy. Within one scene, we would go from dramatic to comedic. I think that it also had such a strong group of characters played by strong actors, who were like a family, with Booth [David Boreanaz] and Brennan being at the core of that and their relationship.

I always look at things from a feminist perspective, and I love that we never shied away from the fact that my character made more money than Booth and I had a bigger office than him. All the women had bigger, nicer offices than the men on that show, and my character was a strong, smart woman who was not shying away from that. She would be the first to tell you that she was a genius, and I just loved that.

I don’t know where it falls and what thing will be the main thing that it will be remembered for, but I think that those are the things that made it unique in the landscape of television at that time.

One thing that I know is you’re always very involved in is animal rights. What are you currently working on?

I’m very involved with Farm Sanctuary, which is the largest farm animal sanctuary in the country. The organization not only houses animals that have been saved from factory farming, but it educates people about factory farming; the realities of it. It also works to advocate for those animals through laws and different campaigns, and it provides people with experiences with these animals.

Right now they have two places where you can come and visit animals. One’s outside of Los Angeles in Acton, California, which is like 45 minutes outside of Los Angeles. And then we have Watkins Glen, which is absolutely stunning, outside of New York City in the Finger Lakes area.

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