#when i get you oswald cobblepot

[dontbadgerme2233]

He just couldn't handle anyone knowing he listens to Dolly Parton. That's it, isn't it?!?!?

[mysecretwindowuniverse]

Nygmobblepot Text Meme

[notsocasualenjoyer]

for headcannon day my headcannon is that selina was so girl suffering after the second to last ep.

like i know she just lost it when bruce left. i could talk on and on about the betrayal and i could draw so so many comics because i felt for that girl. he LEFT her. ALONE.

(this is not saying that selina is weak and helpless, no she is the girlboss ever, but i cant help myself when it comes to gotham angst yall know i cant)

[justcallmeemily]

I'm in the deepest pits of pain from season 3 of the Gotham tv show and I haven't even gotten to the most painful parts yet.

I thought I'd be able to handle it after knowing what happens (not fully, just enough) and knowing everything will be okay.

Thought I'd be able to watch all 5 seasons then go read fanfiction to fill the eventual hole in my heart but it's not easy.

GOD what a fool I have been. Why can't my evil gay men be happy. WHY can't ANY gay men be happy for that matter.

[starryoak]

I wasn’t trying to miss the point here, I’m deeply sorry that it came across that way, but aren’t the show writers of the Harley Quinn show, Patrick Schumacker and Justin Halpern, themselves Jewish? That isn’t to say that it isn’t a deeply antisemitic decision that shouldn’t have been made, but I feel like that itself ties into the point that I thought I was articulating? The point I was trying to make pretty much was what you are saying, and I’m very sorry that it didn’t come across correctly as that is entirely on me, I tend to be very bad at articulating my thoughts in a way other people understand, and I tend to put my foot in my mouth often as a result. What I was trying to say was very much what you did; that it’s context of the character and changes you want to make themselves that make the impulse problematic or not, and that I find that unfortunate and sad, because oftentimes the impulse comes from a place of wanting to see yourself in fiction, without any malice, from people, often children, who are trying to make things that they think are better and more progressive, even if they very obviously aren’t.

That there’s a difference when it comes from adults who should know better what is and isn’t an appropriate thing to do, like in your example from the Harley Quinn show, but that the impulse of wanting to be seen and reflected in media you like is something I think everyone feels, and deserve to have an outlet for, even if they’re not in the places that people end up putting them in.

Moving this out of the tags just in case you don’t see them; I recognize that the primary problem is white fans decontextualizing things that should not be decontextualized. But what I was trying to articulate is that a huge part of the problem is that this impulse I think is one that most everyone feels and tends to indulge in; “What if this character I care deeply about was more like me”

It’s simply that white fans tend to be the ones who either don’t have any context for what is appropriate to change or not, or like in this case deliberately ignore when it’s inappropriate because they find that inconvenient for projection. It does end up being white fans being the problem. It’s simply that it’s slightly more complicated by the fact that part of why it happens for younger fans is that they are simply doing something they see everyone else do, and are just ignorant to the reasons why that is deeply inappropriate in these circumstances.

And obviously that needs to change. I just am unsure of how to get it to change without posts like these talking about why this can be deeply inappropriate response. I was just thinking that acknowledging why it happens is necessary to getting those who are ignorant to understand why it’s wrong in some cases; to understand why it can be right in other cases coming from other people.

[sunflowerrosewood]

He Has a Nightmare HC~ Gotham Boys

Author's Note: Since my other account @cheekyredwillow got deleted. I am adding some of my favorite fanfictions to this account and revamping this one with new ones. I hope to make an actual list of fandoms I am still a fan of! NO requests for the time being.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of killing, nothing too graphic.

~~~

Jim Gordon 

~Jim has dealt with so much shit

~Between going after villains to dealing with the PD

~So when you two fell asleep one night

~He had a nightmare you were killed by multiple Gotham villains

~You don't notice he has a nightmare until you feel cold

~When Jim is sitting in the kitchen nursing something to drink

~But not facing the bedroom

~You have to come up from behind

~And hug him tight

~He will probably jump 

~But he melts in your embrace 

~He wont tell you want happened

~But he will allow to be vulnerable 

~And allow you to just mumble in a sleepy voice all the reasons you love him

Edward Nygma

~Edward didn't have nightmares often

~But seemed to have them after being in Arkham

~Then escaping to home

~You would only know when you heard him arguing with himself

~That he shouldn't wake you up

~That this makes him useless

~As you could hear him mutter these things

~Pull him down to the bed

~So you can cuddle into him

~And promise that you'll always be there

~Both sides will melt

~And he'll tell you about the nightmare 

~So you'll understand his pain

Oswald Cobblepot 

~Oswald had nightmares often

~And you usually knew

~The reason is that he talked in his sleep and would hold onto you tight

~You would feel his hands tighten

~And whimpers fall out of his lips

~You’ll probably have to wake him up

~Just to let him know that he is not alone

~He will be sweaty and his heart racing

~But as long as you kiss his lips

~And squeeze his hand

~Oswald will calm down

~Go get a washcloth to help him cool off

~And intertwine your hands before you fall back asleep

Jonathan Crane

~Nightmares plague his head all the time

~And it isn’t because it is his fault

~It usually has to do with his father

~And another person that you will know when he wakes up

~Because he gets as far away from you

~He is shaking in fear 

~It’s usually when he does not consume himself in fear

~But appears in his nightmare

~Allow him to slowly calm down on his own

~He’ll immediately climb back into bed 

~Because he needs to feel you by his side

~Usually he falls asleep slowly after

Jervis Tech

~Jervis usually has nightmares that his Alice runs away

~You ran away because he harms you

~Jervis is one of the ones who will wake you up

~Just to make sure you are real

~And still loves him

~Before you get tired again, you’ll notice the fear in his eyes

~Whisper to him how much you love him

~And kiss his cheek 

~Before cuddling into his chest which calms him down

Victor Zsasz

~Victor wont show he has nightmares 

~You usually know when you wake up

~And he’s sitting in the shared bathroom just staring

~No emotions are shown

~But you know what is going on

~So you’ll have to go in

~And kneel where you look up at him

~He won't say anything

~He’ll just pull you into his lap

~And holds you tight 

~Just the silent of the night is going to be heard

~Victor will pick you up and bring you back to bed

~Usually it takes just that before the two of you fall asleep

~Victor will probably mention his nightmare later on in the week

~When he is ready

Jeremiah Valeska

~Even after the spray, Jeremiah still gets nightmares

~It happens to be about him almost killing you

~And he’ll wake up to you being sound asleep

~He’ll touch your arm

~And sigh 

~Usually you know something happened because he’ll be in the lab

~Bent over

~And probably throwing things in anger

~When you ask him what’s wrong

~You’ll see the anger turn to worry

~An emotion you do not see often

~And Jeremiah will walk over to you to hold you tight

~Demanding you wont leave him

~Even though you never thought that way

~It’s feeling you near him that causes him to want to go back to bed with you

Jerome Valeska

~Jerome did not have nightmares too often

~He was awake in the middle of the night usually

~But when he did fall asleep and had nightmares

~He was similar to Oswald by holding you tighter against him

~But you would still be asleep 

~Until you feel him kissing your face and neck while rubbing your hip

~When you slowly wake up, Jerome will kiss you lips and grin

~Usually you wouldn’t ask much

~Until you watch his grin falter

~That’s when you touch his face

~And kiss him softly till Jerome makes you fall back into his chest

~Once the two of you hit the bed, he’ll still be rubbing your arms or hips

~But you’ll hear him yawn

~He falls asleep pretty quick

[i-smoke-chapstick]

Can I just have a small bit of headcanons or a Drabble on your pick of multi Gotham boys and their hands? Like I dunno if this is weird or not but kinda like just a dive down on what their hands feel like, who’s are soft and who’s are rough, who has vein hands, who has calloused hands. Just that kind of stuff please?🙏🤭🥺 (reason being of a specific hand edit I saw on tiktok 💀, also don’t feel obligated to do this if you don’t wanna. I completely understand.)

'FLESH, [hand! hcs]

-GOTHAM!VILLAINS X READER-

⋆ Characters ↬ Oswald Cobblepot, Victor Zsasz, Jonathan Crane

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; gotham villains and how they use their hands on reader ;)

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!villains x female reader. Not pure porn but smut. Suggestive. Might be the most vanilla thing i've written? but I love this request so much and I AM A SLUT for these men. Canon typical violence for Victor, Oswald getting a little rough ;)

𝛰𝑆𝑊𝐴𝐿𝐷 𝐶𝛰𝐵𝐵𝐿𝐸𝑃𝛰𝑇

♫ “This is just my way of unleashing the feelings deep inside of me.” Flesh by Simon Curtis

I know what you're thinking.

Oswald's hands? Out of every Gotham man I could've chosen???

YES. YES OSWALD'S HANDS. Have you seen this mans HANDS? Whether they are on a knife, or in those red gloves, or if he's leaning forward on them? All predatory like...

Not to mention...the VEINS. In almost every scene I've seen of this man? His hands are VEINY. Skinny bird man is not living up to that penguin stereotype, especially not in the earlier seasons.

God- just the way he stirs the wine glass or glass of brandy. Yeah. He's thinking and wishing it was your thighs he was holding, staring into the golden swirls.

The man has some issues with being nervous during sex, but when he lets loose he lets LOOSE. And he becomes feral, desperate, grinding and PAWING for every part of you he can kiss and hold and worship.

C'mon. We see the way he grips that cane of his. The way he holds the custom made knife. The way he gets his knuckles all bloody from hitting Fish or doing his own dirty work in season 1.

Also...going back to those red gloves of his. Could you imagine? Him making you grind yourself into the palm of his hand, watching you, mesmerized at the feeling of skin on leather.

He just wants to watch you writhe from pleasure. His little true love all needy for him and his hands. Gah.

He's so flustered, by the way, if you tell him you like his hands. He's sputtering, and asking why, but that little cheeky (and villainous mastermind) part of him is making a note to use them even more.

"You-," He says with a bit of an unbelieving smile, brows furrowed, voice wavering before his face turns to a look of complete shock, "You want me to what?"

Don't get him wrong, he's listening intently to your wishes, he just looks like he's seen a ghost at your vulgarity. He's not used to being wanted.

𝑉𝐼𝐶𝑇𝛰𝑅 𝑍𝑆𝐴𝑆𝑍

♫ “You can dominate the game 'cause I'm tough / This spark of black that I seem to love.” Flesh by Simon Curtis

This man might have the most iconic hands out of EVERYONE on this list.

I mean, c'mon now. When you think of leather-clad knuckle-less gloves, who do you think of?

The man, the myth, the legend himself. Victor Zsasz has the hands of a working man and he likes to use them.

These are the same hands he carries his guns in, the same trigger finger that will pump inside you while you mewl around him.

In all seriousness, though, he LOVES his hands too. They are his favorite part of his body. Without his hands, what would he be able to do? He's skilled with them. Pleasuring you with them is no different.

They are slightly calloused from the sharp edges of the guns he holds, but he's learned to use his gloves to protect them. Regardless, the old scars and marks from when he was just a boy playing with a tec-9 still remain.

Also, he canonically wears rings when we first see him in the show. Yeah, he's using that to his advantage.

You'll feel the cold metal as he drags a finger along your spine, watching you shiver. He'll do that lazy side-smirk, breathing heavily as he watches you arch up into him just from a touch.

Don't tell him you love his hands. Please, for the sake of the zsaszettes having to suffer a total EGO trip. He's taking it in stride.

But if you do happen to mention it...he's bragging about it.

Every time he gets complimented on a nice shot, he's bring you up.

I can imagine him holding someone hostage, whether its Jim or someone else. He notices them staring at the gun in his hand, full of fear, and he'll look flattered.

"Oh? Are you staring at my hands? Sorry, I'm taken." He's mentioning, off-hand, to the rando he's kidnapped. It doesn't matter if the hostage is a full on 50 year old man. "My girlfriend says she loves my hands. Y'know, life's work, and all that."

𝐽𝛰𝑁𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑁 𝐶𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐸

♫ “This is not the way into my heart, into my head. / Into my brain, into none of the above.” Flesh by Simon Curtis

Okay, maybe i’m just a monster fucker, but HEAR ME OUT!!

Uncut nails behind those talons of his on his costume. On or off.

Sometimes, he’ll be fully clothed, drawing scratch-marks into your skin, lowly humming in pleasure. That little spark of fear in your eyes when he draaaaaags down just right makes him go crazy.

He can’t help it. You’re his armeggedon, his muse, his savior all in one. The remedy to his madness…and you get all worked up from just a touch. It strokes his ego, like Victor, but he’s quieter about it.

Dirt beneath his fingernails, callouses and blisters from working with those damned poisons. He’s suffered a chemical burn or two, and you’ll see the small circle scars on his knuckles.

You’re like his personal test subject. He likes to study you- watch your expressions when he glides his nails down your skin, almost touching you- but not quite.

Surprisingly a tease when he finds out. He’s nonchalant. He won’t let you see the sheer arousal simmering beneath the surface.

But boy, it’s there. His heavy breathing. It affects him just as much as it effects you. The chill down your back, the shivers left in his wake. He takes his time edging playing with you.

You might need to ask him to cut them lowkey because they can be kinda painful when he’s fingering you. Or…if you’re into that little sting of pain while his tongue massages your clit through his mask.

He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, it’s filthy.

“There you go, little mouse. You like it, don’t you?” He pauses, in thought, while you grind for friction like a cat in heat against his finger tips. “I wonder…where I should sink my claws into you next?”

That damned deep voice of his…the subtle curl of his fingers inside you. Before you know it, he’s pumping in and out, trying to elicit the most vulgar reactions from you. He can’t help it. For a man who prides himself on control…he looses it all when he’s with you.

[bejeweledraven]

call it what you want

All the drama queens taking swings All the jokers dressin' up as kings They fade to nothin' when I look at him

relationship headcanons with the gotham villains

parrings: oswald cobblepot x gn!reader, ed nygma x gn!reader, victor zsasz x gn!reader, jerome valeska x gn!reader, jeremiah valeska x gn!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst

warnings: mentions of criminal activity, mentions of toxic and unhealthy behaviors in romantic relationships/mentions of unhealthy relationships

requested?: yes

request: anon: can i request general relationship hc with oswald cobblepot, ed nygma, victor zsasz, jerome valeska and jeremiah valeska with a gn reader

song prompt: call it what you want by taylor swift

word count: 1392

oswald cobblepot:

first and foremost his love language is 100% gift giving

it would be both subtle and dramatic

subtle, because he would never ask directly; he'd listen

was there something you were talking about currently? or maybe something you've wanted forever? he would pick up on the slightest mention of it

but like i said, it would also be dramatic

an artist you've been listening to lately? he'll make sure you have every possible record on vinyl and cd, concert tickets, merch

a car that you've dreamed of for years? in your driveway, with every possible upgrade

growing up he didn't have much, so he wanted to make sure someone that he cares about never feels like that

although he's not really the one for physical intimacy, there are some small gestures he really loves

great example are forehead kisses - long evenings after tiring days, right by the fire places

he might not be huge with PDA, but everyone knows that you're involved with each other, making you untouchable

and when i say everyone, i mean everyone; his enemies, his allies, his staff

his worst fear is someone hurting you to hurt him; makes him extremely protective, making sure you're safe 24/7

your relationship is the definition of "private, but not secret"

ed nygma:

although the pre and post riddler ed might have fair share of differences when it comes to dating, there's definitely a lot of similarities

for example, for ed you're always the number one priority, not matter what

the pre-riddler ed would cancel any plans for you (not that he had loads of those anyways lol)

it would take one phone call from you for him to drop everything and meet you somewhere

if ed liked you, he would have the hardest time telling you; even if you were involved with someone else, he would be your shoulder to cry on, no matter how much it broke his heart

once you got together he would need regular reassuring of how much he means to you

would be a combination of his own insecurities and how highly he thinks of you

both before and after you start dating, you smiling in his direction would be enough to make his day

post-riddler is much more confident, cares significantly less of what people think of him

but even given all of his confidence, his old insecurities still get the best of him

he would get very jealous at times

whenever he would suspect you could have feelings for someone else (which is a conclusion he makes way too rapidly) he would feel like the awkward and practically invisible technician working at the police station all over again

takes a ton of reassuring to for him to seem confident again- because deep down he will always feel like that to an extent

being his partner means being his best friend- it's such a special connection

he relies on your support so so much

although it took him a while to learn to come to you with his issues, you're definitely the best support system he's ever had, and he makes sure you know how much that means to him

victor zsasz:

one word: TEASING

so so so much teasing

oddly enough, this might be the healthiest relationship on the list

he has an understanding of personal space and time

i mean don't get it wrong: he WILL show up unannounced in your living room in the middle of the night on a random tuesday, just chilling on the couch because "he missed you"

but if there is ever a situation where you tell him that you need space and time alone, he just respects it

he has a very laid back attitude towards you, but if the situation requires he will act very quick to protect you; whether you disapprove of his methods or not

even though like i said he gives you space and time if needed, he has his subtle ways of knowing whether you're staying safe and out of trouble

i can for sure see him with a fellow assassin, even, or maybe especially, working for a rival gang

business is business, and he doesn't see a reason why it should interfere with his personal life after work

and the constant competition is kind of fun and exciting to him, which is ironic, given the line of work

one time you were ordered by your bosses to take each other out, and for shits and giggles you even pretended to attempt it, but gave up easily just cause you couldn't take one another and this whole situation seriously

overall it's a very playful relationship of equal time teasing and strong sense of protection, on both sides

jerome valeska:

the best word to describe the relationship with this man is 'rollercoaster'

with the highest of highs and lowest of lows

good moments make you feel on top of the worlds and bad moments make your stomach drop

no two days are the same with this guy

no surprise that he is very obsessive

the second he saw you and was utterly and completely fixated on you and you only

it was obsession at first sight for sure (bonus points if you met at arkham)

and you can't really blame yourself, he was very charming

just something completely captivating about him

although his attention is all over the place, he would make sure to always have a good look at you, even with the corner of his eye

he just needs you around 24/7

the respect for personal space and time? yeah don't really count on that

at a certain point there's some sort of addiction formed, where you can't really function without him either

say what you want about jerome, but his energy is absolutely infectious and sometimes you just need someone who will make you feel like you're on top of the world

another thing about him is that his obsessive sense of protection mostly extends to guarding you from the GCPD, but not really to a basic sense of safety

he will take you with him to all of his most dangerous heists, because he doesn't want you 'missing out on all the fun'

he regularly finds places to break into in the middle of the night, like theme parks and big malls, and just goes CRAZY

he is there to make any absurd wish of yours come true

if during the time where everyone just assumed he was dead you moved on with your life and god forbid found happiness with someone else- he is changing that the second he's back

jeremiah valeska:

the jeremiah before the transformation was paranoid about absolutely everything

including your safety, mostly because of jerome

his childhood made him put up this shield around him and it wasn't easy to let you into his life - but once he did he shielded you even more than he ever did for himself

if it was up to him, you'd never leave his super-secure home/facility, because he's that worried

and many times he's begged you do to so

out of sheer sense of protectiveness over you

but staying in a windowless bunker is not really easy for many people

and he knows that he can't really argue you on that, so all he has left is worrying until you're back

you always were back, and he had to fight the urge to beg you not to ever leave again

the post-transformation jeremiah is also insanely protective- with the added effect of more confidence is slight obsessiveness

his obsessiveness would be much more subtle than one that his brother displayed - jeremiah would just always know where you are and who you're with

he would go to actual insane measures to protect you; he'd burn entire cities if it meant keeping you safe

both before and after the transformation he's not really the best at communicating his feelings, but his way of making up for it is acts of service - subtle before transformation and less subtle after the transformation

oddly enough, he also became a lot more openly romantic than before, with grand, dramatic gestures

not that he wasn't romantic before; just in a lot more shy and delicate way

one thing never changed - how much keeping you safe meant to him

[gilverrwrites]

YAY PENGUIN FISCS!! Can you please do something soft and fluffy with Ozzie! Maybe he's feeling a insecure about their age difference and she makes him feel bettere? thankyou

Guys My Age

Pairing: Oswald Cobblepot/GN!Reader

Rating: Mature

Words: 561

AN: Yes! Yes, I can! I wanna give this man so much loving! 🖤💜

Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Request Info

Content: Fluff, insecurities, (mild) sexual themes, age gap, implied nudity.

Please Remember: You can, and you will.

Deep, steady breathing fills the room as you lay together. Ozzie ran hot, so the silky sheets beneath you served two purposes: to feel luxurious and to stay cool under his heated skin.

Speaking of, once you rolled onto your side, you couldn’t help but run your splayed fingers over him. Enjoying the warmth of his body as you trace the roundness of his belly, then his chest, twirling your fingers in and out of his dark body hair.

Oz grins lopsidedly, exposing his wicked golden teeth. You grin back, enjoying the quiet moment together. 

“I’m gonna go get us something to clean up with.” You lean in close, nuzzling your nose against his before delivering a kiss to his lips, one which he greedily accepts. “Do you need me to get you anything else?”

His hand finds its way to yours, holding it to his chest, keeping you in place. “Don’t you worry about getting up, sweetheart. You let Oz look after you.”

The mattress shuffles under your combined weights as Oz attempts to sit up. Stubbornly, you refuse to move, using your hand to keep him down. It's sweet, the way he always wants to look after you, but sometimes you wish he’d let you do the little things for him without dispute, if only so you could show him how much you appreciate the ‘royal treatment’.

“Come on, Ozzie. Your brace is already off.” You try to sound stern, even narrowing your eyes in a half-hearted glare. “I won’t take long.”

Unwilling to verbally admit defeat, he releases your hand, lips pulling into a begrudging pout as he settles back onto the comforter.

True to your word, it’s barely a minute before you return to the room, climb back on the bed and begin patting him down with a small towel.

“I must have done something real good in a past life to deserve you, darlin’.” When you look up at him, he’s watching you intently; his eyes are tender, admiring, but the remainder of his face lacks any real warmth. 

“Or maybe I was really bad.” You flirt. All clean, you discard the towel at the end of the bed and place yourself close by his side, supporting yourself with one arm to allow you a full view of his face and body.

“Oh, you’re bad, alright.” A smile returns to his lips, his chest shakes under a small chuckle, but it's short-lived. “Seriously though, what are you doing, wasting yourself on an old man like me?”

“Wasting myself? Ozzie… That’s nonsense.” The skin of his scarred cheek feels soft to the touch. “You know I adore you. There’s nobody else I’d rather be with.”

“You’re sweet, baby.” He replies, turning his head, inhaling your scent and placing a chaste kiss on your palm.

“I’m sweet on you, Ozzie.” You coo, turning his head back, allowing you the clearance to lean down and lay your own kiss on his lips. “Besides, nobody else has ever, or could ever, make me feel the way you do.”

From beneath you, he snakes his arms around your waist and tugs, causing you to fall flat onto him. Strong fingers massage the curve of your spin. “How I managed to get a thing like you to fall for me is beyond me, but I sure as hell ain’t lettin’ you go.”

[odiesdayoff]

Kinktober: Jonathan Crane

Pair: Jonathan Crane x fem!reader

Summary: Gotham's more of a nightmare than it used to be and Crane has his sights on you.

Warnings: On the tin. NON-CON (Kidnapping/Restraints/Leashes/Collars/Breeding)

You poured a fresh whiskey into a short glass over ice cubes, then pushed it to another faceless man sitting at the bar. Lights were flashing and the music was a bit too loud for your liking, but money was money and the protection that the job gave you was probably the only reason you were still a free woman.

The knock on the counter brought you from your serving-induced stupor. Oswald Cobblepot. “Hey, sweetheart. Need you to work a double tonight.” He pushed aside the man drinking the whiskey.

“Tonight? Isn’t Stacey scheduled after me?” You washed the shaker cup and placed it upside down to dry. As much as you needed the money, you’d much rather get home before it got too dark and monumentally more dangerous for you.

He sighed, reaching over the counter and pouring some of the whiskey into a free glass. “Got collared. Don’t know when or if she’ll come back.” Of course, the number one reason for the girls leaving the job. Two weeks ago, the bar staff and performers totaled 50. It was now 27.

You instinctively pursed your lips and took a deep breath. The thought of what she might’ve been going through was bad enough, but the reality was the truly horrifying part. Your freedom was slightly stealth, but mostly luck. “By who?”

“Firefly. I should have you all escorted home before these schlemiels steal all my girls.” He finished his drink and slammed it against the counter. “Eh, too much money.”

A few more men sat around the bar while he walked away. Of course he was not one to waste his money on something that actually protects his staff. Too busy spending it on drops and whatever other drugs that he can sell to his customers.  Asshole. 

Acts as if he doesn’t have a girl collared in his house. You’ve seen her once or twice. She’s pretty, but it was clear that he did a number on her before parading her around the club. “What the hell is wrong with this city?” One of the men finally asked as you handed him a dry martini.

“What isn’t wrong with it?” You grumbled under your breath, starting on the Manhattan for another one of the men. 

They laugh, a bit too loud. Clearly, this wasn’t the first bar they’d been to tonight. “No, seriously. Got mugged twice and we’ve only been here two days. All the women are on fucking leashes. Or people fucking out in the open.” He took a long sip of his drink, looking around at the debauchery still happening around the bar.

“You know how most cities have a hero? Ours was killed. Chaos ensued.” You mixed the drink, shaking the bottle. “Basically, they made a whole set of rules that give absolute control to those who fought Batman. Territory, people…you get it.”

The day that the Batman died was something you’d never forget, as if it was your life stopped at that moment the news broadcast was shown on every screen in the city. Nobody thought the Joker would be able to do it. Both Batman and the Joker were natural enemies, bound never to end their feud. 

Some say it was a mistake. But the second it happened, he had his plan to create chaos and eventually, everyone else followed suit. Just as his (somewhat) partner in crime, Harley Quinn, was planning on leaving him, he locked her onto him. With the same collar she used for her pets.

He let all of the inmates of Arkham escape, taught them the new rules, and everybody else had to play catch up or try to get out of the city as fast as possible. Especially after the mayor fell. Bella Reál was ambushed in her office by the newly escaped Riddler. Nobody has seen her since.

It felt like the shift lasted forever, but you appreciated the extra tips from the more drunken customers wishing they could fuck you and knowing they couldn’t. It was raining when you stepped outside, through the back where nobody could see. You threw your hood over your head and ran in the direction of your apartment.

It was well known that it was more dangerous than normal for a woman to be out at night. More likely to get caught by a man with a little bit of power under his belt. You were cutting through the alley right outside of your apartment when someone grabbed your arm.

The man yanked you back and pushed you against the wall. “Well, well, well. It’s been a while since I saw a free woman that was this gorgeous.”

His face was familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Your panicked state overrides facial recognition. “Who the fuck do you think you are? I have nothing to give you.”

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head as if you told a joke. “Let me tell you a bit about me. I fought the Bat more than you can imagine, which gives me more than enough of a right to pin you down and take what I want." His hand cupped your cheek and a finger glided across your quivering lips. "I pride myself as a man with class, so I'm going to take you home, give you a nice meal, then I'm going to shove my dick in you."

You fought against him, though he barely showed his struggle to keep you still. "You're really going to make me do this?" He rolled his eyes and reached into the briefcase-like bag around his shoulder. He pulled out a small leather collar, swiftly bringing it over your head and slipping it onto your neck.

The tightness of the collar restricted your breathing enough to stop you from struggling to save air and he wrapped the connecting leather strap around his hand. "There you go. Now you're on a leash. Happy?"

You spat at him. "No! I'm not fucking happy!"

He tugged at the leash, effectively pulling you to the black car that waited on the curb right outside of the alleyway's opening. You wondered how long he'd been preparing for this moment. How long he knew who you were.

~~

In the defense of Jonathan Crane, he did try to give you a nice dinner. The man cuffed you to a chair and made small talk as he cooked, then fed the meal to you. Of course, you refused it. Nothing could get you to accept this life, no matter how legal it was now.

His rough hands dragged you from the chair to the neatly made bed and he pushed you on your stomach, climbing on top of you.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be, slut." He whispered hoarsely into your ear as he pulled the clothes from your body. The fabric of his pants dragged against your skin and the outline of his erection was unavoidable. "Get on your fucking hands and knees."

You had no choice but to obey, afraid of whatever he could do. Other than the obvious. He teased your opening with his leaking tip, then pushed into you without warning. His groans of pleasure drowned out the whimpers and cries coming from you.

He wasted no time in fucking you, taking what he wanted as he called it. His thrusts were hard and full of need. When was the last time he'd done something like this with someone else? Had he ever?

He wrapped the leash around his hand and pulled so that your head was up and facing the headboard. You choked, not that he showed any concern. "Bet you're used to this, huh? Leaving that club every day?"

He slapped your ass with his free hand. "Those days are over. You'll be my little housewife. Cook my meals. Wet my cock. Have my children."

He sped up, desperately chasing his high. He whimpered and laid his chest against your back, pushing himself as far as he possibly could. That's when you felt it. That overwhelming warmth inside of you that you knew could only be one thing.

"Don't think it's over now. Still have to make sure it sticks."

[fetish4juggalos]

Bed time with Gotham villans

I haven’t posted anything recently and thought in light of 2023 coming to a start I’d post something for the new year even though we’re 6 months into it :3

I apologize in advance for both grammatical errors and spelling errors:)

Oswald Cobblepot

I can imagine oswald being a very wild sleeper. Like the kind that can go to sleep on the opposite side of the bed and end up with their leg over you with their arms wrapped around you

Probably has alot of night terrors specially about his mom and dad. Loud random screams in the middle of the night will be a common occurrence for you

Goes to sleep in a full pajama set with night cap and slippers:)

Blanket hog all the way, constantly kicking you in the back, cuddling into you, ect.

Though he's probably not the best to sleep with hes definitely got the nicest bed. Like im talking king sized with silk pillow cases, and sheets with a ridiculous thread count

I imagine him having some long ass night routine or some weird night ritual he follows before bed

He's the last to get into bed and the first to fall asleep

Likes a warm glass of milk (or a lukewarm glass of alcohol) before bed because he's old fashioned

Refuses to go to sleep without you and will wait till the early hours of the morning and late hours of night for you to come to bed

Edward Nygma (pre-riddler)

Ed unsurprisingly is very pleasant to sleep with

He’s not a very calm sleeper but he isn't like incredibly wild either. Maybe a arm or leg thrown over the edge of the bed but thats about it

Has the occasional night terrors but besides that is otherwise peaceful 

Sleeps in relatively normal sleep attire. Plain shirt with pajama pants mostly

Really basic white male night time routine. shower, brush teeth, wash face and head to bed

He has a decent sleep schedule with only the occasional sleep insomnia

Likes to spend a little time playing video games or solving puzzles before bed

Edward Nygma (post-riddler)

Sleeps a lot less then pre-riddler ed

When he does sleep it’s only for a few hours and tends to have nightmares in between periods of rest

He’s not one to initiate cuddling during bed time but he won’t stop you from cuddling up next him

Will at times sleep on the couch or wherever he ends up falling asleep. Mostly up to you to make sure he gets a healthy amount of rest

Over thinks greatly before bed and ends up circling the room on a tangent or whenever an idea strikes

Sometimes breaks into your apartment just to sleep next to you or will show up and pass out on your couch

Talks and mumbles in his sleep

Victor Zsasz

Victor rarely sleeps but will lay in bed just to be next to you for a few hours before his next job

Sleeps in mostly just boxers since he takes a shower directly before he goes to bed but on off days he’ll throw on a t-shirt and lay in bed with you

Calm sleeper surprisingly

It takes a specific type of man to be able to kill someone then come home and sleep peacefully

He’s a quiet sleeper which is also why he makes such a god assassin as noise suppression is a huge part of his job

You always fall asleep first and he likes to just stare at you for long periods of time

Half drunken water bottles and glasses on the night stand at all times

I feel like he would have some kind of lengthy skin care routine before bed

Likes cuddling especially if he’s the little spoon

Wakes up at ungodly early hours of the morning

Blanket hog but just to be annoying and so that way you’ll sleep closer to him

Only really sleeps if you’re sleeping with him as he doesn’t really sleep as much as most people and probably only rests his eyes for a few hours at a time

Jervis Tetch

Jervis is very affectionate when it comes to bed time. He loves cuddling, holding you, kissing you ect.

I imagine his bed is incredibly comfortable with many multi-colored and textured throws, quilts, and blankets covering the bed. Probably decorative pillows as well in many colors and shapes

Full pajama sleep attire. Button up sleep shirt, pants, slippers, and a night hat similar to Oswald

He likes reading to you or being read bedtime stories. His current favorite (aside from obviously alice in wonderland) is the wizard of Oz

A warm glass of milk or tea before bed is essential and he always makes some before bed

Jervis is a bit of a wild sleeper but for the most part stays in one spot on the bed only kneeing you a few times and stirring in his sleep

He runs warm so he doesn’t take up a whole lot of blanket but during the summer he ends up drenched in sweat blanket or not

Wild bed head since his curls are hard to tame at times

Stays up late so he falls asleep first since he’s always exhausted and sleep deprived

Wokenup in a cold sweat a few times from the occasional nightmares relating to his sister but all he needs is you to pull him back into reality

Talks to you until he falls asleep to help him get some energy out and clear his mind. He talks to you about anything and everything until he begins to drift off

Jerome Valeska

Jerome is an incredibly wild sleeper. So much so to the point where no matter what position or side of the bed he’s on he’ll end up on the opposite side in a completely different position

Throws the blanket off and on going from hogging it to throwing it on the floor

He runs hot so his sleep attire is mostly him without a shirt and a pair of tattered pajama pants or just boxers

He doesn’t really have a night time routine to speak of or a steady schedule

Normally it’s just whenever he’s tired and wherever he’s at that determine what his sleep is going to be like and how long it lasts

He’s a big cuddler at first but because he’s such a wild sleeper he’ll probably end up letting go of you and turning to the opposite side of the bed

He’ll wake up in a bad mood if he’s not sleeping with you next to him or in his arms in the morning tho even if it’s entirely his fault

He’s a brat so it takes forever to coax him into going to bed. Plus he’s stubborn so even when you get him into bed he’ll do everything in his power to annoy you or to not fall asleep

He talks a lot in his sleep normally it’s laughter or it’s him mumbling on about his mother and the trauma he received

He has nightmares but they don’t wake him up only increase his tossing and turning and sleep talk

I feel like he sleep walks at times when he’s not knocked completely out and I can image you’ve had to bring him back to bed a few times

[sigmalaussene]

Top ten weird ways Oswald Cobbepot gets called in Gotham

As I was rewatching Gotham, I decided to write down every name that people in the show canonically call Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin. It was a wild ride. Please enjoy

10. "Funny looking fellow"

(season one)

We start with a simple one. This isn't even an insult, it's just a fact. He is, indeed, a funny looking fellow. I'm pretty sure they say it more than once too.

9. "The Dapper Gangland Kingpin"

(season two)

This one it's just silly, especially since it was written on a newspaper. Just... that's weird ? Idk it's silly it makes me chuckle

8. "Yellow rat snitch"

(season one)

We start getting a little weirder. Why a rat? And, more importantly, why yellow???

7. "Stupid lame birdbrain"

(season four)

Just so mean. Especially since this scene it's his dumb husband making a room full of people chant it

6. "Golden goose"

(season one)

Right back to season one and it's incredible dialogue. This one is particularly amazing thanks to Oswald's reply to it, which was, of course: "Honk honk". I can't even start to describe that scene. It's a classic.

5. "Beaky nosed freak"

(season five)

Definitely the best nickname the last season had to offer. Like, you know that moment when a guy kills your bestfriend/girlfriend and you call him the silliest name you can think of? This is one of those times.

4. "Scaley faced bitch"

(season one)

This is the first one in the show, directly from the first episode. I am a firm supporter of calling men bitches when they deserve it, and he did, so I wholeheartedly approve this message. Adding the scaley face part just makes it more poetic.

3. "Sad little breadhead"

(season two)

This one from never fails. Imagine it delivered with the most condicending tone in the world. Just amazing. Makes me laugh every time.

2. "Fruitcake leprechaun"

(season two)

This. This is the one that started it all. It was thinking about this one that I decided that this rewatch I was gonna write down all the nicknames. I dont know if it has something to do with english not being my first language, so I don't have the background of the word "fruitcake" used as an homophobic remark, but this name is one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life.

1. "Limping little chickenbutt second banana"

(season one)

This couldn't not be on the first place. I am obsessed with the writers of this show, i want to get inside their brains. Because like what does it mean? How did they come up with this? I need to know every thought that crossed their mind for them to write this. This is art. This is poetry. Incredible. Amazing. Absolutely insane. Kudos to the actor who played Maroni because if they gave me that line I wouldn't be able to say it with a straight face.

Bonus:

(For the fans, he is also called "the only thing Nygma cares about". Just... you know, in case you forgot)

Some recurrent nicknames are: "Pengy", "Ozzie", "freak", "cockroach", "punk", bird related names (bird/birdman, feathered friend, chicken, turkey...) and "little"/"tiny" followed by almost anything (man, friend, dirtbag, bastard, creep, twerp, freak, weasel...)

Edit: i realize i didn't mention "Major Crumblepot" and that's on me sorry guys

His haircut is described as "disco vampire hair" at one point (another classic)

He is also called "specimen", which is really funny, and "dewdropper"?? for some reason I don't remember but it was in my notes and I couldn't ignore it lmao

[zahri-melitor]

I want to go on more about The Boy Wonder #3, because it’s just really on top of aspects of the Tim and Damian problem without taking sides or getting aggressive.

Damian’s failing in it is that he is so ready to misread Tim’s intentions that he doesn’t stop to think that Tim is equally undercover like he is and overlooks what he knows about Tim’s skillset. (Someone here is jamming your signal, Damian? What a mystery who that could be)

Tim’s failing in it is that he doesn’t bother to explain the plan to Damian, doesn’t expect Damian to listen to him and follow his lead, and he doesn’t trust that Damian won’t betray him, so he plans around him.

BOTH of their plans don’t consider the other as active participants, but Tim’s is able to adapt on the fly to take into account Damian’s actions, while Damian with a lot less experience in team environments cannot.

I can tell you feel bad about killing that guy. But do you feel bad because you hurt someone...or because you were punished for it? Do you only feel bad because you got found out?

And yeah, that’s the thing with early Damian.

Tim’s mistrust is completely understandable. Even as he grants Damian grace - “I know you feel guilty about it” - he points out he doesn’t know the reason for the guilt and that also has meaning to Tim, because he doesn’t know if the growth associated with the regret has happened.

Damian's actions that Tim sees do fall into this valley of 'why are you guilty'. Whereas Dick and Bruce both see Damian's growth and attempts to make amends, Damian's prickly enough that Tim largely does NOT see that and instead gets Damian who doesn't trust him, who reads the worst intentions into Tim's actions...and so Tim does the same.

They even out! You can see it on page in places! But 'doing the right thing because someone else wants you to' and 'doing the right thing because YOU want to' are two different steps, and we watch Damian go through both, and early on he is definitely not yet at appreciable self motivation.

And when Damian does demonstrate this growth for Tim in the story:

You stuck with doing what was right, even when it was hard. I appreciate it.

He acknowledges it and takes it into account!

And look part of the misunderstanding here is definitely that Tim doesn't slow down and explain his plans to Damian. He's used to working with Bruce or Dick where he wouldn't need to, he's also had bad responses when he's explained to Damian before, so he treats him as an obstacle or a spoiler in the mix that he plans around and uses as a distraction but doesn't bother to explain his actions to.

(Also Damian is just. so young. in this. He can't tell that Tim's playing along to let people tell him the information he wants)

Just an hour ago, the prince had seen this same brother abuse his gifts for personal gain...hadn't he? And yet here he was, setting that aside to join the prince in doing what was right. A reminder you could indeed start wrong and course-correct. It's never too late to act better.

If he had inspired his brother toward such a change, maybe he could live up to his father's expectations after all.

Ahahahahaha Damian. Baby. Tim was schmoozing Oswald Cobblepot and Lex Luthor and Veronica Cale for a purpose! Tim does not think they are good people to work with! He was trying to get information out of them! He needs to know what they're up to for the family company! Tim is not going to trust Luthor or Cale!!!

And yet baby Damian here is still telling himself a parable that he saw growth in Tim so he can also live up to that growth. He 'inspired' Tim.

Character centred storytelling at its most hilarious. But also quite sweet - because it's just another level of 'the problem between Tim and Damian is they misread each other and exist in the other's blindspots', so the resolution STILL having Damian with that giant blindspot but working it through in his head to put Tim into a slightly better light is actually a creative and interesting way to approach the growth.

Also funny. SO funny.

[finniestoncrane]

Finnie you know who this is (I wish they let you send asks from a side account 😭😭). ANYWAY soooo per our discussion, I would like to request 2022 Ozzie being a gentle Dom but specifically focusing on his fingers. 👀👀 The coldness of his rings contrasting the warmth of readers body, how he may tease them until they say "please" and then he's willing to do anything for them.

Also if it could be plus size reader, that would be fantastic uwu. 💙💙

Two Fingers

Farrell!Penguin x Fem!Reader, word count: 1.75k fingers fingers fingers fingers fingers i am going insane over this request bug and it cheered me up immensely while i was writing it at my desk BUT it kinda got away from me lmao i hope reader was plus sized enough, i always forget to describe reader because i spent so long training myself not to lol 💜🐧 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: teasing, fingering, nipple play, gentle dom ozzie

"Two fingers of scotch, sweetheart."

You stopped in your tracks, arms on either side of you, pushing you up from the cushion. Looking over to Oswald's desk, you caught his eye, and he smiled towards you.

"If you're getting up to go to the bar."

"Oh! I wasn't actually. I was getting up to come over and see you."

You stood up from the sofa in the corner of Oswald's office, your perch, as he called it. The place you sat most evenings, waiting for him to finish up his work. When you reached him, you jutted your hip out and rested against the edge of the desk, laying your palm delicately against the lapel of his suit jacket.

"I thought that maybe you'd be better comforted by a warm touch, than a stiff drink. Besides, with the day you've had? Do you really think two fingers'll be enough?"

He grinned, gold tooth catching in the light, twinkling in sync with his eyes as a mischievous sparkled in them.

"Two fingers is always enough."

You fed into the flirting, encouraging it with your smile and batting your eyelashes at him. Running the edge of the lapel between your fingers, you stared at his lips, biting softly at your own as you held back the embarrassing, excited giggle that threatened to escape you. In an attempt to maintain composure, you took a deep breath, exhaling with a sultry sigh, and shifted ever so slightly closer to him.

"Is that so?"

"Oh yeah, you'd be surprised at what two fingers can accomplish. Or, rather, toots, you'd be amazed at what I can do with two fingers."

No longer able to suppress the glee in the giggle you let out, you practically jumped at the way he spoke to you. Low, growling, so incredibly attractive. You were moving closer to him, now on the same side of the desk as Oswald. He turned in his chair, resting his palms on the widest part of your hips. His fingers tickled delicately over the surface of your protrusions and curves as he moved his hands up and down your sides, guiding you with him as he turned his chair back around to face the desk. He let his touch linger as you settled into your new position, sandwiched between his body, still seated, and the desk, which you rested against.

You stood still, your legs between Oswald's which were spread wide apart to give you space. The way he looked up at you made you feel like a work of art, gazed on from people smaller than you, people down on the ground. People who were trying to get to the same level as you, reaching for the pedestal that Oswald sat you on.

"Ok then, what can you do with two fingers then, Mr Cobblepot?"

It drove him wild when you teased him, even more so when you added an air of faux formality to it.

"A lotta things! Sign checks, make business deals, command my empire. Which way will Cesar Cobblepot's thumb fall, y'know?"

"Impressive. That's all business though, what about something more personal?"

Oswald let his hands drop down the back of your thighs, swooping round to the front where he lifted the hem of your skirt, just enough to expose your knees and let his thumbs graze over them.

"Well, I can hold open a door for my beautiful princess. I can summon a waiter over to take her order. I can send her a message to cheer-"

"The way you type, you only use one finger. And you do it with your nose pressed all the way right up to the screen."

You smiled, satisfied to get a gentle dig in. He raised his hands to his heart, mimicking some sort of fake pain your words had caused him before throwing his arms out to the sides.

"Listen, you forget I'm an old man! And I don't quite need glasses yet, sugar. Let me have that one."

You placed your hand on his cheek, your own eyes now boring into his deep, dark brown irises, making a note of the creases and lines that branched out from the corners of his heavy lids, the ones that shifted in different ways depending on what kind of smile he gave you.

"Ok, what else then?"

"Lemme think... Oh! I can do this."

He brought two fingers to your bottom lip, pushing on it gently until they parted and your mouth opened. Oswald stroked at the velvet skin, watching it tremble slightly at his touch, the sudden crossing from verbal flirting to physical shocking you in an entirely pleasant way.

"I can surprise you with just two fingers, huh? Make you speechless?"

You nodded, a small sound at the back of your throat cut short as he moved his fingers further back on your lips. Watching you carefully, keeping an eye out for any subtle, or obvious, signs of disagreement with his movements, he pressed those two large, thick fingers into your mouth. Laying them flat on your tongue. Licking his own lips as you pressed the muscle flat out against your chin, drool forming and spilling onto your face.

"I can show you who's boss too."

Oswald brought his hand to your cheek, rough fingertips grazing gently over your flushed skin, tingling at the tiny, soft hairs that stood on end as he brushed past, electrifying them. His digits continued, skipping over the shell of your ear, catching a loose strand of hair in the process and pushing it back, threading it into place.

"I can keep you neat and tidy, lookin' perfect."

His walked the digits down your front, sweeping them to the side of your body and pressing them into your plush curves, watching your plump skin fold under his pressure, indenting with the soft force, and pushing back out again into the soft curves he admired so much.

But as gentle as he was, he turned the other way completely, looping two fingers in the gap between your top button and the next one, tugging sharp on your shirt and bursting it open.

"Or, I can make a mess of you."

He tugged again, another button popping open with the strength of just his fingers, until your shirt had exposed your bra completely. He dipped two into the cup and pulled it down, revealing your breast, your nipple hardening as he grazed his fingertips over it.

Oswald drew a circle around your nipple, watching your skin shiver despite flushing with heat. Pinching you, teasing your nipple out and pulling your breast with it, he smiled as your breath became heavier, chest rising and falling against his grip. Once he let go, he began flicking his finger over the nipple, tickling you, teasing you, and you could barely hold back from asking for more.

"What else? What else can you do?"

"You wanna know? You gotta ask nicely, sugar."

"Please, Ozzie. Please show me."

Quicker than you thought possible, Oswald had his two fingers gliding up your thigh, pressing into the skin, watching the way your thickness dimpled under him. And then he had them under the hem of your skirt, both of them pressed together and rubbing your desperate pussy over your underwear.

Your body reacted immediately, grinding into him, keening and whining for more, satisfied with his two fingers, but needing them closer to you, to feel them on your skin. And sensing this, he pulled your panties to the side, letting his digits stroke against your swollen lips, spreading them apart and closing them around your clit.

As you bucked up towards him, he rolled the sensitive bud between his fingertips, biting down on his lip as he watched the way you held your breath, letting it go in long, trembling sighs when you couldn't hold it any longer. Those two fingers, now coated in your slick, coaxing your arousal on their own with ease. Forcing you to buck your hips towards him as you silently, but not subtly, asked for more.

And he obliged, letting his fingers slide between your lips and inside of you. Thick, strong, pulsing as he explored you, beginning to fuck you with them as you felt the definite threat of orgasm burn inside of you. He pressed further, the sharp cool of his rings as they came into contact with your skin serving as a delicious change in texture, one that made you mutter some expletive much to Oswald's amusement.

He rotated his wrist, fingers deep in you, down to the knuckles, hooked and tapping at the exact right spot to have you almost doubling over. It took so much effort to keep yourself balanced as you felt those two digits, manicured nails, polished rings, the hair close to the knuckles, now covered in your slick as he pumped them in and out to a purposeful beat. If you hadn't had something to concentrate on, like not falling, you knew you would have cum long ago.

The edge of the desk felt like it could snap under your white knuckle grip as you clung to it, your whines growing into moans, which gave way to a desperate scream as you reached your climax, clenching around Oswald's fingers as he spoke to you, endless praise, notes of admiration, 'good girls' being let out in a steady rhythm as he saw you through every ounce of pleasure.

With a shuddering breath and a soft whimper, you let the last vibrations of your orgasm roll over you, collapsing against the desk and steadying yourself on wobbling legs.

"See, what'd I tell ya?"

Your chest heaved as you caught your breath, body settling down post-orgasm, muscles relaxing, fingers untensing. You'd been hoping for such a tremendous example of what he was capable of, even though you already knew very well, and of course, being Oswald Cobblepot, he had delivered.

Watching him with hazy vision and half-lidded eyes you took in his every move. The slow, precise way he produced the napkin from under his empty whisky glass, running his two fingers along the flat of it before licking the last of your slick from them, a low moan rumbling in his chest at your taste.

Catching your eye, the lustful gaze with which you focused on him, he winked, offering you another of his knowing, mischievous grins.

"Two fingers, two of my fingers, are all you need, sweetheart."

[yourlocaldcbitxh]

How Gotham characters would react to Trump winning the election (for shots and giggles)

A/N: this is me coping, as well as running through how the hell we can survive this

Warnings: Cheeto man and this is also short so no gifs

~~

Oswald Cobblepot

The economy is gonna be so fucked

And as a pretty logical business man himself he looks at trump and goes “what the fuck is he?”

Convinced he’s not human

Gay man and a disabled person

So obviously doesn’t like him and is determined to keep the people he loves safe (little crime lord has a heart)

~~

Edward Nygma

Is being like me and is so surprised that people can be that mother fucking dumb

Him and riddler are just sitting there like “what the fuck”

They don’t kill people unless premeditated so it’s like… so strange for them to see “good people” putting this bitch in charge

Won’t necessarily comfort anyone loved ones but will shit talk trump

Barbara Kean

Never have you seen a woman more mad than when staring at that screen when they announced it

Chucking glasses and screaming and cussing people out

Takes her rights very seriously and will gut anyone who tries to ruin that

Is actually trying to figure out if she can do something about it

Jerome Valeska

His literal entire thing is non conformity so you think he’s gonna like a guy who wants that white picket fence shit?

Hell no

Riots

Riots galore

Will shoot anyone who says anything about the people he cares about if they’re gay and shit

Gets 10 times more intense in his crimes

Jeremiah Valeska

Don’t know honestly

Cause in one case he’s a woman manipulating son of a bitch

But he also is non conforming

So I think he’d be indifferent

Victor Zsasz

Planning his next hit

Will not tolerate that bullshit

Is sad when he can’t

He’s pan sexual so he’s like, directly affected so he’s as pissed as the rest of us

Though he had no hope in the world so he was disappointed anyway

will protect his loved ones

[ask-maxie-boy]

Goonion's Ghoul (Part 3) [dp x dc]

(A/N we switching the official name of the goonion to The First Universal Henchmans' Union. Just makes sense, thank y'all for the advice)

(Parts 1 & 2: here) (Part 4: here)

"Before we begin, I'd just like to clarify a few things. Mainly, can I ask for your preferred name?"

"Is that a joke?"

"Well, I figured it would professional to come out and call you Mr. Cobblepot, but seeing as we're talking about a... certain aspect of your enterprises, I wasn't sure you wanted your legal name in the records. The Union takes confidentiality very seriously."

Oswald Cobblepot looked down at the scrawny boy in front of him. This was the guy that had Eddie shaking in his boots? He tapped the ashes off his cigarette into the ashtray, and scoffed. "Doesn't matter to me, as long as you remember who you're talking to before you open your mouth."

"Of course! As you wish, Mr. Penguin."

There it was. That smile just a bit too wide, just like Riddler had said. Oswald Cobblepot wasn't an amateur, he wouldn't let something like that throw him off balance. "Alright, kid, lets cut to the chase. Whats this all about a Union?"

"Oh, Mr. Penguin, I had thought you heard! The First Universal Henchmans' Union is a recently formed collective of working class freelance goons, henchmen, and grunts of all different colors."

"Hweh! And what do I care if a bunch of simpletons wanna have a party together?"

The kid's head tilted, a sickening crack! ringing through the room. Just for a second, its eyes seemed to glow.

When you deal with bats for so long, little things like that don't sway you.

"If they're so little to you in your mind, then surely anything they might ask of you shouldn't be that hard to swallow?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop, as the thing's face tried to imitate inquisitiveness.

Good. The Penguin likes it cold.

"You can toss away the whole intimidation shtick, boy. I didn't get to be where I was by bending over to every ignoramus who thinks they can get me to do what they want."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you start to pay more attention to little expressions. The way the shadows suddenly fall onto the boy's blue-eyed, black haired face as he tilts his head downward makes The Penguin's flinch, just for a moment.

"I promise you sir, the Goonion is a very real, and very serious organization."

Cobblepot sneers, cigarette holder angling upward, as he taps his umbrella on the ground. "I pay my people well. My lounge is up to code, too. You don't have a damn thing on me, and here you are trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Well listen here, boy, you don't run an operation like this in Gotham without knowing fear. Fear is watching every shadow, looking for the pin pricks of light. Fear is the cracking of bones in the room over as you know the jig's up. Fear is watching Gotham's shadow spawn appear from the darkness, promising the only thing he wont do is kill you. You're way out of your league if you think I'll bend to such a cheap trick."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you learn to keep your eyes open. You keep track of exits, you look for little disturbances, keep your ears ready for even the softest sound.

You pay attention to that little voice that says you're being watched.

"Mr Penguin, do I need to remind you just who these 'simpletons' are? They're the men who carry your goods to and from your lounge. They're the ones who rig up the Riddler's bombs, traffic weapons in and out of the city. What happens when deals go south, when plans are canceled partway though?"

When you deal with Bats for so long, you watch the shadows. They practically live in them, entering and exiting like they're made from the stuff. Anything that might give away their position.

The shadows are dancing. Pulsing with something even darker than Gotham. He swears he can hear the sound of a bat gently hitting someone's hand. Distant laughter, not natural, almost forced.

"You know, Mr. Penguin, The Joker is easily one of our worst offenders. One of his more interesting complaints is the lack of security in regards to chemicals. See, he doesn't really care much if there's missing inventory, or what happens after his plan, as long as there's enough for what he needs." A vial flutters between its fingers, eyes almost bored as a forked tongue slides between sharpened teeth. "I wonder, where does it all go?

Eyes, green as emerald and as bright as the sun burn into Ozwald's. A grin stretches wider, wider, quite literally from one ear to the next filled with jagged teeth. "Do you want to find out?"

...~☆~...

"...My... smoking habits."

"Yeah, honestly. Its like you said. Most of your stuff is up to board, and your workers are fairly happy. Its mainly just an issue for henches with asthma, though secondhand smoke isn't something most people enjoy."

"You did all that over my cigarettes?!"

"its fairly understood that the Iceberg Lounge is not a smoke-free area, so you can do as you please there, but when it comes to abandoned warehouses or other places of business, we ask you please refrain from smoking."

"I can't believe this."

"For what its worth, the goons understand its part of your whole outfit, and are willing to compromise. We have a list of alternatives that visibly resemble a lit cigarette, and will fit in your holder, but wont actually release any smoke..."

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