#when i first heard mandarin’s voice

[gotta-winwin]

going seventeen 2020 <> svtsideout

masterlist | cyana's masterlist

word count: 1.8k italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin a/n: omg?? what is this?? a second update for yours truly?? got this as a request and inspiration came flying - enjoy a nice cooldown for all the angst last update!

"Hold on, hold on." Cyana had to calm them down as they started filming. "I still don't really understand what the point of today's content is."

Vernon laughed, pulling her aside to repeat the rules to her but this time in English. "We're basically doing activities while the staff tell us what emotion we have to do everything in. Like the movie Inside Out."

"Ahhhh~" Cyana nodded in understanding. "Okay. Sounds-" She frowned. "Sounds kinda silly."

"That's basically what Going Seventeen is." Vernon patted her on the back before leading her to join the group again. "Get used to it!" He shot her a thumbs-up, smiling wide when she returned a unimpressed stare.

"Wow." Dino marvelled, bringing attention to Cyana and Vernon's exchange all of a sudden. "When did Cyana get so much attitude?"

"She's always been sassy." Mingyu corrected, poking at Cyana. "Seventeen's princess~" He teased.

Cyana swatted his finger away, pointing at the staff. "Shouldn't we be filming today's content, guys?"

[staff sends seventeen's princess thanks]

"Ahh~ look at her being so professional." Hoshi teased. "She's right though."

"We've been working nonstop recently..." Dino exclaimed, bringing the spotlight onto himself. Cyana watched from next to Vernon as Dino began to introduce the premise. "...except Seungkwan."

"Seungkwan isn't here today." Hoshi repeated.

"I heard..." Jeonghan started. "...we're inside Seungkwan right now."

As the others exclaimed excitedly, Cyana grew confused, repeating Jeonghan's words under her breath, thinking she must've heard him wrong. "Inside...Seungkwan?" She asked Vernon.

Vernon nodded. "Yeah," he gestured around the room. "We're inside him right now."

She made a face. "That sounds kinda wrong."

"We're his emotions." He corrected, laughing at her disgusted reaction.

"Oh~" She nodded, finally getting it.

[HAPPY MODE ON]

Everyone started laughing almost at once, leaving Cyana confused, but joining in nevertheless. Pausing in between bouts of forced laughter, she smacked Vernon's shoulder. "What on earth is going on?"

Vernon could only shake his head, looking just as pained as he pretended to laugh. Jeonghan suddenly began to shake Cyana, encouraging her to laugh harder.

"HA. HA. HAHAHAHA." Cyana yelled out, right into Jeonghan's face.

Jeonghan fell back in harsh laughter, real this time.

"Wowww." She couldn't help to gawk at how high the rock climbing course was. She grabbed a helmet, putting it on as she continued to stare at the sheer size of the place. "This is amazing."

"Their shoulders are too wide to fit through." Mingyu's voice cut through her amazement.

She turned, giggling when she saw Wonwoo and the others, unable to cross through the pillars.

"Hoshi wants to go first." Dino pushed Hoshi towards the center. "C'mon."

[RAGE MODE ON]

The place suddenly exploded in shouts of anger, surprising Cyana who was had been talking to Jun seconds ago. She jumped in fright, letting out a harsh breath when she realized the mood had changed. She watched as the others 'fought' and couldn't help but gape at how insane they all were.

"Wow. So this is you guys during Going Seventeen." She couldn't help be a little intimidated. "I see..."

Jun snorted, breaking character upon seeing Cyana's revelation.

Mingyu pushed Jeonghan, flinging the guy several steps towards where Cyana and Jun stood, near the back. Cyana's mouth dropped at the sheer strength of Mingyu. She couldn't wrap her head around how quickly they could adapt to anger as such docile and kind people.

Jun nudged her. "You try."

She frowned. Walking up to DK, she tried imitating the gangsters for those Korean dramas she had been watching. "Who are you?" She asked aggressively, widening her stance and knocking up against DK.

The boy only burst into laughter at the sight.

"Cyana's only cute when she gets mad." Joshua said, still maintaining an aggressive tone although he was fighting not to smile.

[SAD MODE ON]

This time Cyana was ready. She had seen the cue from the staff first, immediately burying her face into Joshua's shirt pretending to cry. A little taken aback, Joshua patted her back and pretended to cry as well. She was glad her face was away from the camera or she would've died with embarrassment.

Joshua leaving her once it was his turn, she sat next to Wonwoo and gave him a tiny smile. She felt comforted he too wasn't really down to be acting so hard.

"He's so skillful." She heard Dino wail out, her shoulders now shaking with laughter instead of pretend tears.

Joshua came down, only greeted by a jealous and tearful Dino, who complimented him with wailing tones. "You're so skillful. Are there a lot of mountains in LA?"

Cyana couldn't help but snort, hand flying out to grab Wonwoo's. It isn't missed by the camera, the awkward parting they had and the little side-eye they both gave each other when the other wasn't looking.

"Jump, Wonwoo!" Jeonghan yelled from his spot on the ground.

Cyana craned her neck up, watching as the boy prepared himself and jumped across. "Wowww." She said quietly. "He looks like a koala, the way he's hanging onto the sack."

Wonwoo's cheeks turned pink at her comment as he was lowered down.

DK was next, his legs visibly shaking as he climbed up.

"DK butt sexy!" Mingyu yelled out after him, prompting DK to move his hips, resulting in both cheers and groans from the others.

"Ya- Mingyu." Woozi chided. "There's a girl here."

Mingyu glanced at Cyana with red ears. Jun shielded her eyes as DK continued his climb up. Once he had reached the top, Jun let his hand down and Cyana could see how scared DK was.

"DK jump!" The others called. "You won't actually fall!"

"DK." Cyana cupped her hands around her mouth to yell. "Jump or the cookies I made back home aren't yours!"

DK looked down at her, cringing at the height. "No!" He yelled back. "That's not fair!"

"Jump!" She yelled, cheering the loudest when he did.

--

"I think I'm going to pass out." Mingyu mumbled, as he looked down at the sheer height he was at. "Why did I agree to this?"

"Mingyu!" Dino yelled up. "If you don't jump you have to call me hyung!"

"Hyung!" Mingyu yelled down. Cyana let out a loud laugh at his blatant cry of defeat. "Hyung!"

"Me too!" She yelled up at him. "Call me Noona!"

Mingyu fixed her with a stare. "Ah~ No thank you."

She pouted. "Then jump."

Mingyu looked at the sack, as if gauging an opponent.

"You can do it!" Hoshi yelled. "Mingyu!"

Cyana was both surprised he did jump and a little sad she didn't get to hear him call her noona. She sighed. "It would've been so funny."

[TIMID MODE ON]

Cyana rolled a basketball across the floor towards Dino. "So we don't get hurt." She gave him a sweet smile, making him smile back.

"Guys, get over here." Seungcheol waved them over to where the group stood.

"Let's divide our teams by odd and even?" Wonwoo suggested, his tone meek and timid to match the current mood. Everyone nodded, splitting off into separate sides of the basketball court. Sensing Cyana's confusion, Wonwoo clarified for the girl. "Based on your place in the group age ranking. You're number 14 so you're with the evens."

She nodded gratefully, moving to join Jeonghan and her other teammates.

[game start!]

Seungcheol threw the jump ball rather timidly, as Hoshi slapped it over Vernon's head and close to Cyana. She swiftly grabbed the ball, taking aim and shooting the ball into the net with a clean swish.

"Wow, you're good?" Vernon exclaimed, although it sounded more like a question.

"Played a bit when I was younger." She shrugged, passing the ball to Jun and jogging alongside him.

The game continued, Cyana surprising everyone as she scored goal after goal. The other team was still catching up though, and Cyana could feel herself getting sucked into the competitiveness of the game.

[EXCITED MODE ON]

"Finally!" She yelled out. "Timid is no way to play a game."

She watched, amused at the ruckus the boys were causing at the other end of the court, as DK threw the ball into Hoshi's knees. Taking over, Cyana dribbled towards the hoop, letting out a frustrated groan when Mingyu came up to block her.

"This isn't fair!" She yelled out, trying to pass him. "You're a wall!" She does her best to body check him, slamming her shoulder into his chest. He doesn't move an inch. "Mingyu!" She whined, passing the ball to an awaiting Minghao.

"That hurt." Mingyu whined back, rubbing his chest. "You're all bone. Owwww~"

[SAD MODE ON]

As the game progressed, Cyana got in a couple more goals, managing to stay far away from Mingyu. He was the only one able to guard her, as she sped past the others or merely moved gracefully through them.

"I want to win." Dino cried out, his face morphing into a sad one.

Catching on, Cyana matched his tone and expression. "I'm so sad I'm doing sooo well."

Dino frowned. "It's not fair. You're using your experience against us."

[experience > svt]

Before Cyana can retaliate, a loud thud and sounds of laughter echoed from the other end of the court. Cyana moved away from the bodies blocking her view, realizing Seungcheol had slipped and lost his shoe in the process.

"I didn't swear!" Seungcheol tried excusing himself as he got up. "I said shoes- not sh-"

"You were really good at basketball." Joshua marvelled, as they had finished the game and were now sitting down for snacks. "I was really shocked."

She blushed under the praise. "I played a lot in LA. The weather was always good so I was always at the park."

"You should play with Seungkwan sometime." He offered, reminding her Seungkwan also liked basketball. "He can introduce you to NCT's Chenle. They play together sometimes."

She nodded. "That sounds-"

The sound of Minghao yelling cut her train of thought, leaving her speechless. "Who asked for Cola?" He yelled out, the sheer volume and strength of his voice stunning the girl.

"Wow." She gaped again, turning to Joshua. "I didn't even know Hao had a set of lungs that could do that."

Joshua bit back a smile, trying to stay in character and on theme. "We're all loud when we want to be." He informed her.

She narrowed her eyes at him, not quite believing him. "Even Wonwoo and Woozi?"

"Even Wonwoo and Woozi." He agreed.

"Even you?" She pressed again. "I've never seen you mad or loud at all."

Hoshi turned around to face them, having overheard their conversation. "Joshua's pure insanity. He just hides it well."

Cyana muffled a giggle behind her sleeve. She watched as the others continued to yell, the amount of attitude in one room overwhelming her. She glanced at the camera, mouthing "I want to go home."

[overstimulated by loudness]

a/n: first gose episode! requests are open if you want to see cyana in other gose episodes - so far gose series will be request only so be sure to send one!

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream when you're learning their native language. 

Mark Lee

"Babe what is this?" Mark asked and as you turned around, you saw him holding the Korean textbook that you bought a few weeks ago. You became quiet for a second then proceeds to snatch it away from his hands. You reason out that you're trying (TRYING!) to learn Korean and while you're a blushing mess of how embarrassing it was, Mark found it endearing.

Huang Renjun

You and Renjun are enjoying a movie, cuddling and just enjoying being with each other when your phone suddenly rang, a familiar ringtone that indicates that it's time for your daily Mandarin lessons OUTLOUD. You and Renjun stared at each other, and you looked away first embarrassed. "You're learning Mandarin? that's kinda sweet you know that?" Renjun said with an astonished tone.

Lee Jeno

While looking for something, Jeno found a thick notebook on your drawer. As he picked it up, he noticed that it's full of handwritten hangul symbols. He scrolls through it and realized that the notebook's almost full. So when you entered the room and saw your boyfriend holding the notebook, you were frozen. "Your handwriting looks cute," Jeno smiles at you. "Also you made some small mistakes." then proceeds to correct your mistakes. (nicely of course!)

Lee Donghyuck

The first thing Haechan saw when he went to your place was that you're busy in your laptop, even writing notes on your notebook. He thought that you're taking an online class from your uni so he lets you be, but you repeated a sentence that caught his attention. He couldn't help but chuckle when you attempt to say another sentence with a heavy accent. After you finished the online class, Haechan repeated the sentence you said earlier, making you slap his shoulders lightly.

Na Jaemin

"Babe I'm home!" Jaemin shouts, dropping his bag on the couch. He wonders why you're not responding to him, especially when he knows that you replied to his text earlier. Jaemin decided to go to your room and as he opened it, he saw you focused on your phone. You're repeating some phrases while typing it on your phone. Jaemin approaches you and looks at your phone. "Oh, you're learning hangul? I didn't know!" he said, smiling ear to ear.

Zhong Chenle

"I'm here," Chenle types and seconds later, he sends it to you. He looks around and the area doesn't look sketchy, but it's not located on the busiest street of the area. A few minutes later, he saw you leaving the building, smiling widely as you hugged him. "So, what's with here?" he asked curiously. "Oh, it's a learning center for Mandarin!" you said. Chenle became quiet for a second but only chuckles, "you can just ask me to teach you, you know that?"

Park Jisung

"What are you reading?" You were startled when you heard a familiar deep voice. "Jisung! you're here!" you smiled, trying to hide the book from him, but your boyfriend was quick to snatch it away from you. "You're learning hangul?" he asked, scanning the book. You could only say yes, embarrassed because Jisung caught you. "You know this one's not great for beginners," he pointed out, even recommending you other books that are more beginner-friendly.

[cheezeybread]

Could I request headcanons for Scarabia + Pomefiore where they overhear their lover speaking in their native language with is neither japanese or english? Maybe they're cussing, maybe just talking to themselves, maybe singing, whatever. Here are the characters + some language samples:

Jamil - bangla: https://youtube.com/shorts/WF2LbzJDzD4?si=11V-UicSCLv8vySx

Kalim - mandarin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iUCZgObUDg&t=106s

Rook - egyptian arabic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsz0ou4VX2g

Vil - swahili: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tpol4TKeJ14

Epel - welsh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufKf4eORcKA

So sorry it took me a while to get around to this request, I've had it gathering dust in my drafts as I brainstormed ideas for it, hehe!

︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚

Jamil Viper

Jamil's first introduction to your language was when you burned yourself in the Scarabia kitchen. Touching a hot pot before he could warn you that it contained boiling soup, you cried out a foreign phrase to him

"Hauar pola!" You screamed, one hand clamping over your injured palm, applying pressure as you glared at the pot "Magir Puth!"

Despite his fretting noises as he grabbed the nearest first aid kit (of course with Kalim, Jamil had made sure there was a pack in every room) and fixed your hand, Jamil had to hide his laughter. He had just assumed that you were making up gibberish like Kalim used to do as a kid- gibberish to take place of curse words.

Once you explained to him that it was indeed an actual curse, in your mother tongue, he was a bit shocked. You mean you didn't originally speak what you were speaking now??

He'll definitely ask you to teach him some words in Bangla- mainly curse words, but if he can get his hands on a book for the language, he'll attempt to learn some "sweeter" words to use with you, if only to get a little bit closer to you...or make you feel closer to home.

Kalim Al-Asim

He's no stranger to different languages! Being in a merchant family, knowing many different languages was essential to business, and Kalim has had so many tutors teaching him so many languages- he's not entirely fluent in all of them since he never gets a chance to speak them, but he knows all the basics to have a simple conversation

He probably knew that you didn't originally speak the current language that you did in Twisted Wonderland, but hadn't really heard you speak in this "Mandarin" before.

But one day, while prepping for a party, he took a small break to ask you to show him a new dance- he wasn't particularly set on what sort of dance you showed him, he just wanted some new moves to use while dancing at the party.

To his utter delight, you grabbed his hands and tried to teach him a little dance that went to an old song you heard in your childhood- of course, since your song didn't really exist in this world, you had to hum and sing it out loud.

He's definitely going to insist that you not only teach him the song, but that you start giving him lessons on your language! He figures it'll be fun to converse to you in Mandarin, allowing the two of you to have conversations in secret, where no one else knows what you guys are talking about!

Rook Hunt

Ooh, la la!

He's going to run into you whilst you're in the library after class! You were sitting at one of the tables, half-closed eyes scanning over a textbook. Of course, you hadn't been getting too much sleep recently, so it was hard for you to actually read and digest the information you were supposed to. Which led to you mumbling to yourself instead in Egyptian Araibic under your breath.

Of course, Rook doesn't greet you at first, preferring to stay back and listen to your voice for a little while longer. He enjoys the cadence of it, the highs and lows of every word...it is truly beautiful for a language, is it not?

Once he helps you get to bed and can speak to you after a good night's rest, Rook inquires as to what you were saying earlier.

To hearing you say that you spoke a different language than this one, he was flabbergasted, but intrigued.

"Read me a poem in your own words, dear, in your mother tongue! Speak your mind, call me curses, list out your errand runs, just allow me to hear you speak once more!"

He's...strange. But he enjoys the foreign language very much

Vil Shoenheit

Hearing you sing to yourself while having a spa day with Vil left him speechless, for once in his life.

He had left you alone in the bathroom to soak in the warm, bubbling water, assuring you that he would be right back once he found a certain brand of oil that he suspected Rook had mistook as his.

Once he came back to the bathroom, your words sounded so...alluring. It made his hips sway with the beat you put out with a fist slapping the side of the porcelain tub. It was rather catchy, and he couldn't help but smile as he nodded his head to your tune.

"Oh, such a wonderful language, what is it?"

He's so genuinely curious about it all, and enjoys listening to you speak about it all- how you grew up, how you felt about your culture and language itself.

And don't worry, he'll be asking you to sing to him a lot more heheh

Epel Felmier

Another curser! Aah!

Epel absolutely loves the sounds coming out of your mouth as you lose your temper and let loose at another student bothering you in the courtyard, but curbs his excitement until he properly threatens the student with a good lickin' if he doesn't scoot out!

I'm not gonna lie, Epel seems like he'd speak Welsh if he weren't in Twisted Wonderland- it just seems to fit his character so well.

And, of course, he's going to ask you to teach him all of the swear you know, so that Epel can voice his grievances against Vil and some teachers without them being able to get mad at him (because, of course, Welsh isn't technically an existant language in Twisted Wonderland, soooooo the teachers/Vil can't prove it even exists unless you become a tattle-tail, hehe!)

Once he has his fun with cursing, Epel will try his best to learn some simple words/phrases from you so he can pass you secret notes in class and talk to you in private. He's...not the best at learning a new language, so be patient with him, but he's trying his hardest!

︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚

[rinaforpages]

how (not) to survive academic invalidation

park gunwook x reader

hahahha...

using the american hs system bcs wow! im american... (i half wrote this at the end of last school yr so)

warnings: swearing, self-deprecation (obv), yn hits themself, angst with a bit of fluff at the end, reader is actually smart but surrounds themself with geniuses.

2.6k words

________________________________

# 1 dont compare yourself

"junior year kicks everyones ass." you wanted to kick whoever said that ass. not only was the school work kicking your ass, your friends and classmates seemed to be doing just fine.

they were working on ap chemistry minus laura and gunwook who were working on ap environmental science, and you, who took neither of those classes, felt extremely out of place, doing your ap us history homework.

"whats species richness again?" laura asked gunwook, who quickly answered her question. you looked up, planning to ask the soon-to-be early graduate a question, only to see him helping sarah with a chemistry problem.

you weren't like them and you despised that. your friends were top of the class, an average of a 4.4 gpa, an early graduate (and first in the 2024 class overall) and there you sat with your measly 3.75. they were in 3-4 ap classes, and you sat there, struggling through your 2. (in your defense, ap lang and apush are the two hardest aps juniors could take).

you didnt excel in any way shape or form. they had just about an a in every class (minus ryan in french, who had a b), and a b was your most common grade.

a good 10 minutes later you had finished struggling through apush, you moved on to mandarin. you were the only one who took mandarin, everyone else opting for french. the characters jumbled your brain as your friends spoke in french, seemingly coming easy to them.

you heard footsteps walk by, and ricky laid a hand on your shoulder, looking over. "thats wrong." he said simply. the french kids careened their necks to look at you. he grabbed your pencil and wrote the right character, then walked away. you hummed as you circled the characters you didnt know, opting to ask zhang hao over bothering ricky again.

"you ok over there?" gunwook asked. you scowled.

"i dont understand why there are so many idioms! im losing my goddamn mind." parker laughed, mumbling that you chose the language. you couldnt (or didnt want to) voice your doubts as you thought you could.

as they focused their attention on their homework again, you waved over zhang hao, who hanbin had asked to help cut fruits for you and your friends. he set down a plate in front of you, then sat down.

"what does 开夜车 mean zhang hao please im gonna kill myself." he laughed as hanbin looked up, extremely concerned.

"you know 熬夜, right?" you nodded "so its kind of like that but youre doing work. it literally means burn the midnight oil" you thanked him as he patted your head, pulling the plate of fruit away from your friends and toward you, gunwook making a sound of discontent.

you sighed, packing up your bag at a text from your oldest brother. he was home from his masters program in germany, apparently, and was now waiting outside the dorm. you loved your older brothers, you really did, but they were so much smarter than you ever will be. the oldest graduated magna cum laude from mit, now achieving an accelerated masters for mechanical engineering, and the younger was attending harvard for premed, both completely full ride.

your friends, finally re-noticing you, looked up. "where are you going?" gunwook asked, shushing yujin.

"brothers here," you mumbled, not wanting to wreck your self-esteem any more than you had. sarah pouted, but nodded, whipping out her phone. gunwook opened his mouth, but then quickly closed it. "bye hao, thanks for the help. bye, hanbin and jiwoong!" the three oldest members waved back, hanbin hugging you as you walked by. when you got in your fathers' car that your brother was driving, you spilled your guts.

# 2 dont fall behind

at some point, your motivation fell through. all you wanted to do was lie down and stare at the ceiling all day. sadly though, education laws (and school rules) prevailed.

as you trudged up the stairs from last lunch to pre-calculus, you cursed the architects of the three-floor building and whoever required you to go to school.

two of your friends—laura and ryan—had junior priv, which meant they left early. sarah and coral (who had missed the study session) were in ap chem, and gunwook left for a shoot. without your friends to motivate you to work harder, you felt there was nothing left for you to do.

you had fallen asleep in mandarin earlier that day, so why were you still exhausted?

quick answer: you had stayed up late finishing your apush bonus points.

actual answer: you had no motivation to do anything.

you were falling behind on homework: what used to be doing homework as soon as you got home turned into doing it right before class. a teacher had approached your freshman-year english teacher about it, the one teacher who you could talk easily to. yujin was standing right there; they mustve not have realized you two knew each other.

ricky and zhang hao had invited you over for a cdrama binge session. (ricky said "itll help you" in his texts.) but yujin quickly pulled you aside.

"youre falling behind?" he asked, pointedly. you sighed, nodded, opening your mouth to reply as gunwook walked by, asking what you were doing.

"nothin! ricky and hao invited me over." the words rushed out, and they were so not convincing, but gunwook shrugged and moved to sit down beside ricky and gyuvin. you hushed yujin and walked over and sat down beside hao. gunwook stared at you.

"come here." he motioned, shoving ricky off the couch. you hesitated as you made eye contact ricky, but eventually, there were only so many thumps against the couch you could take. "see? more comfortable over here" you hit him, and he let out a yelp.

"do you have much homework, yn?" taerae asked, setting down a bowl of popcorn.

"only a couple of classes," you replied, shoving a kernel in your mouth.

matthew laughed, "the usual suspects, im guessing?" you nodded. gunwook threw a (toned) arm around you as the two chinese members debated the drama.

"how much have you done? its sunday." gunwook asked, lightly, rubbing circles on your arm with his thumb.

"i can do it all tonight and tomorrow." you sighed, the sentence reminding you of where you are in school. gunwook hummed.

"make sure you get sleep, though. you need sleep, its not healthy if you dont." fuck. you were in deep shit in two ways. you were falling deeper into your rut, and you were falling deeper in love with your childhood best friend.

# 3 dont be too hard on yourself

...was easier said than done. your mind cursed you every time you got a bad grade. you wondered what was the point: you werent good enough to get into the likes of yale, or any of your colleges for that matter.

you had long since fallen off the ladder. it had injured you your 8th-grade year, and every attempt to climb back to where you were or any pushing from a 3rd party proved futile, as you only slipped and fell back down again.

the sat was fast approaching, and every practice test you did was never where you wanted them to be. every stupid math problem you got wrong brought a punch to your head. you had called gunwook, only realizing when he didnt pick up that he was in a shoot. panicked, you hung up before the voicemail. when he called you back (10 times with his members also calling you), you opted to ignore it. it was getting late, anyhow, and you had to go in early for apush in the morning.

apush lab made you want to kill yourself. sarah sat next to you, but everything always seemed to favor her. the quizzes, the teacher. it was unfair, really. american history was supposed to be your thing. so why were you struggling? after lab, sarah asked you what was wrong. "gunwook had called us in a panic because you didn't pick up." you shook your head, lying through your teeth.

"i had a question, but then passed the fuck out like 5 minutes later." sarah laughed and nodded, saying she was glad you got proper sleep, mumbling something about the aforementioned friend. when you asked, she waved you off, the man himself standing outside your classroom. he swung an arm around you as sarah walked in the opposite direction to her next class. he asked you the same thing. you lied to him too, but he looked less convinced. he didnt press you further, though, as you two began to walk down the stairs to your creative writing workshop—a senior elective you had begged your guidance counselor to take. gunwook took it to fill spots in his schedule.

the teacher loved him. as did everyone. you wondered if you could ever experience that. your oldest friend was everything you weren't and it was a point of contention inside your mind. you cursed yourself that you were nothing like him. gunwook nudged you in the middle of class when you were given an opportunity to work, asking what was wrong.

"i know thats not why you called me and then didn't pick up. you're also in your head right now." he pointed out, softly. you hummed, scribbling down something in your notebook.

"i just... i had a question but it was stupid. i figured it out." he looked at you pointedly, a look that told you to tell him the truth. "seriously! im ok!" he nodded, grabbing your hand for a squeeze.

# 4 do your best

you were nervous. ok nervous was an understatement. you rocked from heel to toe as you awaited the announcement that the doors were open. your friends chattered nervously around you. for them, this was the first time they were taking the sat. this was your second. you had gotten a 1340 on your first try—nowhere near where you wanted it to be. your brothers had gotten 1600 and 1590, respectively.

you were on call with all your friends the night before, gunwook coaching you guys through certain questions. he had texted you, (only you, but you didnt know that) wishing you luck. ricky and zhang hao had wished you luck as well.

everything seemed like bricks in your bag. it was only a couple of things—a computer, for the digital sat, a pencil, a calculator, a water bottle, and a banana. but it felt like you had hundreds of textbooks in your bag for no reason at all.

the doors swung open, and you rushed up to your assigned room. the setup was a blur, and the reading section seemed to be so too. during the break, your friends voiced similar opinions. then, during math, you began to struggle. somewhere along the way, though, gunwook popped into your head. you dont know if it was   because you wanted to make him proud, or you didnt want to disappoint your oldest friend and crush, but it worked. you powered through module 1 and 2, module 2 being the toughest one by far.

when the results came back two weeks later, you waited with baited breath as your friends skipped class with you to check all of your scores. gunwook held your hand as you refreshed the page.

"i dont want to look." you said, hiding your face in his chest.

"ill look for you." he mumbled into your hair, scrolling down. you felt him smile into the crown of your head, "i knew you could do it, sweetheart." you looked, and a big glaring 1590 stared back at you.

"wook!! holy shit a 1590!!" you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight.

# 5 talk about it

you sat with your friends and the members as you awaited gunwook's family's arrival. gunwook smiled from his seat on the gymnasium floor, holding up his phone. almost on instinct, you all checked your own.

wook🩵: this'll be you guys next year. ill be up there watching you all.

sarah burst in to tears. laura full on sobbed, and ryan and carols eyes were brimming with tears. as you read the text again and again, you got a separate text.

wook🩵: i'm proud of you y'know? i saw you struggling a bit at the end there but you made it through. i love you, yn. im glad to call you my friend.

i love you i love you i-

"hey yn sweetheart!" gunwooks mom sat next to you. his brother waved, and his father gave you a curt nod.

"hi. you guys must be excited." his mom laughed, nodding, then shoving your shoulder.

"im more excited about something else." you opened your mouth to ask her what, but the ceremony started

giving gunwook his graduation flowers made him blush. he shook his head. "do you not like them, wook? i thought theyre your favorites." he shook his head again, dropping the flowers into his mom's hands, grabbing your face.

"you are clueless, yknow that? i gave you so many hints. everyone knows." when you asked him what he meant, "yn, you didnt think id notice you putting yourself down? you know i cant fucking stand that. sorry mom. it kills me that the love if my life doesnt realize how fucking amazing they are, and it kills me that they dont realize that im in love with them." at this point, you dont know what you were doing. because gunwook was confessing to you that he both likes you and that he knows about your self-deprication. so now, surrounded by friends and seniors, gunwooks family and members, you kissed him.

it wasnt like anything you had imagined. your first kiss, you mean. peering seniors were waved off by shouts from matthew and gunwooks brother—both burly enough that even the biggest varsity football players would shrink away.

gunwook smiled on your lips as your friends cheered amongst themselves. you heard a loud "闭嘴!" from zhang hao to what you presume was ricky chatting with the senior mandarin class. when you broke off, gasping for air, gunwook tore off his graduation gown, pushing it onto his poor unsuspecting leader. he grabbed your arm, and the two of you sprinted as fast as you could.

out the gymnasium doors, out back by the cafeteria, through the back-woods path. he stopped when he was sure no one would follow him.

"so whats going on? with the whole." he gestured to your head. you knew what he meant, so you nodded. you told him everything, how you compared yourself to everyone, especially your friends and brothers, you were falling behind, your motivation was close to 0, and you never really believed that you could do it. he was quiet for a while. you knew he was trying to find the right words.

you wanted to cry, or throw up, probably both. it felt like the trees and the birds and your boyfriend? were judging you. but gunwook just apologized, for not noticing sooner, for not knowing how to help. you shook your head, tears threatening to fall, but he shook his too.

"no, no, im your best friend, yn, i need to be here for you. im serious, you have people to rely on, you dont have to shoulder this all by yourself." the tears threatening to fall were not a threat anymore, and the dam broke. gunwook grabbed the back of your head, pulling you into a hug.

—

mandarin guide:

开夜车: kai ye che, lit. burn the midnight oil

熬夜: ao ye, stay up late

闭嘴: bi zui, shut up/close your mouth

[ellesthots]

Fateful Beginnings

XVIII. “indebted”

parts: previous / next

plot: employed as the resident Gazette journalist, your first night at City Hall leaves you panicked and reeling from a last-minute confession from Bruce.

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader

cw: 18+, bribery, panic attack, mental institution

words: 3.3k

Mar had taken you to Nordstrom to peruse the sale rack for appropriate journalist attire. You'd settled on a black long-sleeve mini dress; you'd wanted to go midi, but she had insisted you be more risqué. "You don't have to hide your femininity to be professional." Now you were wearing it with matching pointed toe heels—with less heel than your old ones. The press lanyard dangled around your neck nearly obscured by hair that had taken you all evening to curl; the rain was hellish, weighing down your roots and frizzing out the lengths. Paparazzi waited and for a moment you stalled to wonder why they were here; that was until they started shouting "BRUCE WAYNE?!" and racing past you. You stopped in your tracks, and all you could hear was the pounding of your heartbeat against your eardrums. Fuck. He's here already. The hectic, giddy flashes blurred your vision and created floating black specks as you made your way up the stairway. It felt... weird being at the beginning of it all. Like a bad omen. You walked to the appetizers to see if Rai was working it, but it was some random catering company with bland, pompous snacks. Caviar, Oyster and a billion other things you couldn't name.

As much as you wanted to wipe him from your mind, it was impossible to not know when Bruce Wayne entered the building. Everyone inside gasped under their breath and turned like he was a shark in the water, like cat to mouse, predator to prey. It would have taken you too much brainpower—you wanted to spend precisely none on him—to figure out who was hunting who. You grabbed some champagne and tried not to bump into any of the frail, callous rich people. As you surveyed the room (making sure to glide your eyes right past him) you noticed a few upgrades; the foyer housed fresh paint, a new rug, and an ice sculpture. You squinted your eyes to no avail trying to figure out what it was supposed to resemble.

On your gaze's loop you locked eyes with the man of the hour. Your cheeks stung with angry, embarrassed heat and you spun to grab an oyster. Anything to look busy. Anything at all. Excited voices became a passing buzz in your ear as you hyperfocused on the food in your hand. Slimy.

"You may enter now." A man in black pants and a crisp linen shirt opened the door to something vaguely resembling a conference room that vaguely resembled a dystopian art gallery. It didn't quite fit right in your mind, which sent the visceral reminder of loneliness down your gut. You made your way quickly toward the room, foregoing thoughts of where he might or might not be. A mantra pinged between your ears: I will not talk to him. I will ignore him.

Oh how bitterly inferior you were to the actions of Bruce Wayne. You smelled him before you heard him, a musky, clean detergent scent; he smelled just like he did back at Wayne Tower. Only now it was dancing with some... grapefruit? Mandarin? You held back a laugh at the thought of him shuddering whilst spraying cologne.

You were already laughing. He didn't want to see you here. When he walked in he thought it couldn't be you—you hated it here—but when you turned it was immediate. Panic lurched in his chest; you weren't supposed to be here. The word 'destruction' banged around his skull. The badge around your neck alluded to him not being able to avoid you for very long, so much to his chagrin he thought he'd brave the storm and break the ice. "Didn't expect to see you here." Dancing around it. Would you do the same?

You wanted to test his limits, see how he would react if you refused to be on your best behavior, so you resorted to fronting a rude persona. "I'd say the same but..." You gave him a once-over. The Dior stitched into his breast pocket nearly rolled your eyes to the back of their sockets, but you were in public, and he was Bruce Wayne—every room orbited around him. This wasn't the place to make a bad first impression, so you slapped a grin on your face that showed your teeth. "When it strikes midnight is your Dior gonna fall off? Fairy godmother on speed dial?" You lowered your voice a bit so no one would think twice about your conversation. You hid a wince; fuck. That first part had sounded weird. He looked down and put his hands in his pockets, huffing out exasperation. You know. You know. You know. He thought about telling you he didn't like this, to reassure you he did not enjoy the facade, but: he didn't owe you anything and you owed nothing to him. Mutually assured destruction, he thought, even though it didn't help him in the slightest. He didn't need to reveal truths to you, you were more or less even.

"Nice to see you again." He sensed your nerves and tried to soothe them, (were they because you planned to make a surprise announcement this evening?) but it wasn't coming off well. He stared at you with a tight-lipped grin to meet your squinted stare. So the schtick applies to me, too. He turned around to head toward the strange conference room and you stopped yourself from trying to 'trip' again, only holding back so Dr. Vry didn't steal the badge and send you home with no income. He scooted a few people over and took a seat at the front of the huge table. A few of the paparazzi tried to sneak inside but the man in the linen reached for something on his belt and they took off outside. Does this dude have a gun? Is this because of Prince Bruce?

"Welcome everyone." A man with spectacles and a gray suit stood to the direct left of Bruce, and he clapped his hands at the end of everything he said. It might have been frustrating if Bruce wasn't dominating that bandwidth. "Tonight marks the first City Hall meeting of 2024 after our summer interlude." He leaned in while saying it which got some chuckles from the other rich people. You took a quick note. First meeting since summer break.

"And this year we have a new member of the City Hall Board! Mr. Wayne, would you?" The man bowed to Bruce and he rose from his seat with a quick, polite wave. You shook your head and got your pen ready, knowing Dr. Vry would be salivating over whatever he was about to say now and later. You were able to get a good look at him from this perspective; his hair was maybe a bit lighter, much like at graduation, though his suit had become more tailored since then. "Good evening everyone, it's a pleasure to be here in this new capacity. I look a bit less green." He mimed looking down at his suit, and everyone started howling with laughter. Holy shit. You thought about passing out in a puddle of your own vomit. Is he the same human being? He continued, nodding off the rest of the laughs. "I look forward to meeting all of you and getting to know you better as time goes on. I'm excited to collaborate and invest in Gotham City. Thank you."

Everyone clapped like he'd just won an Oscar. He studiosly notated while the other members took turns introducing themselves. You scribbled down as many names and positions as possible with a plan to commit them to memory before next week's meeting. Someone named Fox, a woman named Laurie, a man named Larry...

At the end of the brutally long introduction the man nearest to Bruce, the head honcho, introduced himself. Miguel Convoy - interim mayor. Interim mayor? Mr. Convoy heaved a deep sigh (too deep) and performed condolences for Bella Reál's recent admission to Arkham Asylum. "Miss Reál, as you are well aware, began showing some symptoms of serious mental decline mid-July. The new mayor's elections are coming up this November, and on such short notice we only have a few candidates announced to be running. These include Sebastian Hady, Marian Grange, and Lincoln March. In the following weeks they will make appearances at these meetings, so make sure to give them a warm welcome."

Sebastian Hady, Marian Grange. Lincoln March. - mayoral election, November.

The rest of the meeting was wholly uneventful, with a bunch of meaningless small talk among the bourgeoisie. You made sure to write down everything, however, as Bruce was writing a novel of notes in a small journal. I can't know less than him. He'd never let me hear the end of it. When the meeting adjourned and people began filing out, you set a reminder on your phone to research the candidates for interview prep.

You waited for Bruce to walk past to catch a glimpse of what he'd written, but when he passed... christ. Your teeth ground against your heavy steps as you rushed to reach him. Heat flushed your cheeks and you grabbed his forearm to get his attention. He snapped around and restrained a startle response when he noticed it was you. "So you didn't write anything?" You couldn't stop the gall soaking your tone. "Just scribbles?" Maybe being rude to him wasn't a front, maybe it came naturally with how insufferable the man was.

He hid a laugh—well, he thought he did, but it must have appeared somewhere because you reacted to it immediately. You wrestled with what to say next bogged down by already saying too much. In the meantime he blinked at you, his stare unwavering from your shifting eyes. You had a conviction he'd done that—only written scribbles and wavy lines—to fuck with you, but with little evidence besides a hunch you decided to let it go. If he wanted to get some little jabs in, fine. You did know life-ruining information about him, after all.

He was disappointed you didn't follow the glint in your eye. During the meeting he'd anticipated a showdown, maybe even you snatching his notebook and ripping out a few pages. In his defense he had taken some notes, but quickly devolved to scribbling when he'd caught you glancing in his periphery. He thought it might get under your skin a little, just like you did with your eyes plastered to him. He always felt like your eyes were glued to him, even when you were thousands of miles away; it was a permanent side-effect of being found out. Was it so wrong to want you to share his dread?

"Have you heard of any of these candidates?" You were thumbing through your notes, which looked...impeccable to Bruce. He shook his head. "Too short notice."

"I'm sure you're soo busy." You flipped the spiral shut and held it at your side. He flashed back to when his notebook fell in front of Alfred, his face slipping, and your brows knit together. "It's not just a jab, c'mon." You paused as he looked just behind your shoulder, eyes beginning to glaze. Huh. Weird. You cleared your throat. "With all your, Dior stuff?" God, it took so much effort to act like his activities were of any importance to greater society. It didn't help that you'd had to avoid dozens of behind the scenes clips and photos from his latest shoot on every corner of the internet the past week. Still, your heart felt a bit bruised at the prospect of hurting his feelings for some damn reason. "Hello? Bruce?"

That startled him back. He'd forgotten you used his first name after the nearly three-month reprieve. "They were only announced this afternoon."

You stood there, your skin withering from the dryness of his conversation. Men. The very second your shoulders shifted to move toward the exit he vocalized. "What made you come back here?"

You stared blankly at him. You were a bit offended at how blunt he was being, and decided to be blunt back. "Money."

He was confused. "I thought—" he stopped himself, but you weren't letting him off. "What?"

"Nothing."

You stepped toward him. "It's something."

He wanted to step back, but refused the urge. "It doesn't matter."

"Then why aren't you telling me?"

How obvious was it that he had paid for your mom's medical bills? You saw him thinking and jumped on it. "What? Why do you think I don't need money?"

God, it was maddening not knowing how much you knew; where was the line between speculation and trying to catch him in a lie? You flustered him. "I don't think about money." Ooh, that was not the way to go. You wore your feelings on your sleeve, and his chest cinched when he noticed you scowl.

You refused to let up, feeling your limbs light up with tingles. "What were you going to say?"

He felt scolded, but you weren't scolding; Alfred scolded, sometimes, in an attempt to fulfill a parental role. The problem was he did have things he was going to say and you were picking up on it. The problem was that no one ever called him out in broad daylight. You didn't appease. He winced. "I thought paying your parent's debt would—”

"I knew it!" Bitterness and appreciation dueled in your chest. Your heart raced as the reality of it set in and Mar entered your mind with bright, pulsing letters: S T A L K E R. "How did you, what," He didn't know your family, he didn't know your last name, even. You felt naked.

"Mr. Wayne!" Mr. Convoy (what a rich name) stole Bruce's attention. The edges of your vision swirled and you stepped back to abate the wooziness. STALKER. STALKER. STALKER. STALKER. It was only a handful of seconds before Bruce apologized and asked to excuse himself, which you barely heard over the ringing in your ears. He shot a quick look at you before walking down the hallway towards the restroom. Begrudgingly you followed him this time, feeling forcibly tied to his ankles, and the second he was out of earshot he turned toward you, eyes darting across your face. "You left your phone in Alfred's study. It was open. I only looked at what I needed to." His hands were gripped tightly together, the folds of his fingers beginning to turn white.

You paused so long he nearly spoke again, but you shoved shaky, frustrated words from behind your teeth. "But you didn't need to." You felt shockingly affected; you'd suspected it was Bruce, but had apparently successfully deluded yourself into believing it was God himself, or an accident, or Alfred had accidentally seen some texts and it captured his old, kind heart. Bruce wasn't kind, meaning this wasn't kind. Your fingers went cold and the tips began to tingle—fuck, you felt like you owed him something again, him saying it reopening the guilt you'd tried desperately to disappear.

Bruce felt trapped. Your eyes had glazed over a minute ago; he felt like you were miles away. You were right. He didn't need to. "I thought it would help." He scrambled for anything else to say but came up short. You leaving to Pluto was exceptionally distressing and rendered him nearly incapacitated.

"I didn't ask for any favors,"

"I'm sorry." He stood there feeling foolish. Naked. Uniquely stuck.

A thought sunk down to your gut and nestled into the feeling of guilt. "Was it a bribe?"

His eyes flashed and he shook his head vigorously. "No." He saw you glance over your shoulder towards the paparazzi trying to lean inside for a photo and moved his back to them. You shifted uncomfortably. This vulnerability felt exploitive; you felt small.  Standing by the Burj Khalifa made you feel deeply insignificant. That fear came back again, tenfold. He noticed the shift, and he hated it. You were lost in your own head, spiraling again about how alone you were in the world, how much more alone you were going to be so soon, especially if she got the placebo, what Walter would do once she left, what you would do once Walter left, if you'd ever see them again, if this was the only shot you got, and if so, what the hell were you doing here in a city that hated you, in a city you hated; your life was being wasted with so little of hers left, there wasn't enough time, they could get in a car crash this minute, last minute, your phone could ring any moment, Bruce could be planning your demise—

You only noticed you were having a panic attack when Bruce gently grabbed your wrist. You only realized you'd been shaking when you felt his steadiness. You stared at his hand for a brief, still moment before ripping it away. You sniffed back a tear threatening to burst containment and turned wide, only making it a step before your shoulder slammed into a man's walking to the restroom. The collision caused the tear to slide down your cheek and you collapsed to your knees. A high-pitched sob slipped out and you bolted to the bathroom, into a stall, and pushed your back against the metal door right as the weeping started.

The man glared at the WOMEN'S bathroom sign as if he was thinking about following you. He intercepted. "How are you? I'm Bruce Wayne." Another plastered smile and Ken handshake. The man's eyes lit up and he rushed to take Bruce's hand, shaking it about ten times before Bruce slipped his hand back into his pant pocket. He pretended to laugh at the man's jokes, made small talk about the upcoming election, the usual suspects. Bruce knew what waiting might be twisted as, but the man's initial step toward you left him on edge. A few people stared at him as they exited, then leaned in to whisper something to their partners. He rubbed his head and mentioned a small headache coming on, saying he needed to be on his way. He leaned his head back against the rough white wall and shut his eyes after the man finished lingering, crossing his hands around his chest with a leg up for balance. Your reaction had been an oversight. Maybe you were right, again. What's the value of a dollar?

You popped out of the bathroom quicker than he'd anticipated and he startled when you flung the door wide. A small wash of humor at having unsettled him rapidly devolved to sourness. He'd been leafing through various solutions to your bribery claim, but everything felt hollow like the slick tear troughs under your eyes. He grasped for anything to ease the tension, for once even if it wasn't fully thought through. "Let me at least give you a ride."

You stared at him with your nose huffed up. Unshed tears pleaded to be freed. This dress was a silk blend, and you could hear just how heavy the rain was. You nodded curtly, afraid to say no, but thanking yourself for remembering to move your taser to your clutch. You'd get him to drop you off at a fake location, throwing him off your scent for where you actually lived. He nodded back. "I'll meet you around back."

[inevitablysomber-dark]

The Price of Sucess 5

Dark! Peter Parker x Clementine! Reader

Summary: Clementine has fought tooth and nail to achieve her dream of attending a prestigious university. Balancing her demanding workload, a suffocating home life, and financial strain, she’ll do whatever it takes to stay afloat. Enter Peter Parker: wealthy, charming, and unexpectedly fixated on her. When he offers a proposition that could solve all her problems, Clementine reluctantly agrees—unaware she’s stepping into a carefully constructed trap. What begins as a transactional relationship spirals into something far darker as Peter’s true intentions come to light.

Warnings: This story contains dark themes, including manipulation, psychological and emotional abuse, unhealthy relationships, non-consensual elements, obsessive behavior, gaslighting, loss of autonomy, familial neglect, and power imbalances. Please read at your own discretion.

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto

My knees pressed firmly into the mattress, toes flexed against the sheets as I anchored myself, rising and sinking in a steady rhythm. The burn in my legs was merciless, spreading with each controlled movement, but I embraced it. My hands gripped his thighs behind me for support as I leaned back, arching my body. The pull in my ankles and the ache deep in my core blurred into something intoxicating. Every rise brought me closer, my breaths stuttering, my muscles tightening as I gave in to the momentum, chasing that blissful peak.

Peter’s hands clutched at my hips, grounding me, pushing up every time I sank down. My whimpers tangled with his low grunts, building into a crescendo that finally shattered, a vivid burst of feeling. I collapsed against his chest, the two of us melting together as we came down, chests heaving, drenched in sweat.

“Wow,” he breathed, voice thick with exhaustion and awe. “You’re so perfect, you know that?”

A tired chuckle escaped me. I rolled off him and reached for my phone, still tethered to the charger. I’d heard it buzz earlier, but I was too preoccupied to care. The screen lit up with a series of texts.

Mandarin Hey loser, are you dead? Mom says you haven’t been home in a few days.

I scowled and replied before I could stop myself.

Me: Do you care?

Her response came quicker than I expected.

Mandarin: If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have texted.

I stared at the message for a moment before shutting off the screen. It’d been a few days since I took refuge at Peter’s place, and I hadn’t said a word to my parents or Mandarin. I wasn’t sure why she cared, but for once, silence felt like power.

These last few days with Peter had been...easy. For the first time in months, maybe years, I wasn’t carrying the weight of my family’s expectations or my endless to-do lists. I felt lighter, more like myself, and yet completely unlike myself. Nikki and Carrot had no idea I’d been staying with him. We hung out a once or twice since the frat party, but neither of them asked where I’d been, so I didn’t volunteer the information.

Peter, to his credit, hadn’t said a word either. But the way he looked at me on campus, like he couldn’t wait to pounce, spoke volumes. And when I came over at night, he did exactly that.

I was less stressed, less miserable, and more rested than I’d been since starting university. I could get used to this. I wanted to get used to this. But I knew I couldn’t.

Another text buzzed. I sighed and looked at the screen.

Mandarin: Dad called contractors to fix the leak in the basement. Mom wants your stuff out of the living room ASAP.

I groaned out loud.

“What’s wrong?” Peter asked softly.

I looked up to find him watching me, his eyes filled with concern.

“It’s nothing,” I muttered, sliding the phone face-down onto the nightstand.

“Hey, hey,” he said, sitting up and pulling me back into his arms. He nudged his nose against my cheek, planting a soft kiss just under my ear. “You can talk to me.”

I let out a slow breath, resting my head against his shoulder. “I think I have to go home tonight.”

“What? Why?” His voice sharpened with something that sounded almost like panic.

“They fixed the basement,” I said flatly. “And now my mom wants me to move my stuff out of the living room. Ill have to go tonight, so I guess this is our last day in paradise together.”

Peter pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes. “So what, you’re just going to move back into that health hazard? With all the mold and God-knows-what-else?”

I stayed quiet.

During the short time I’d been here, I’d vented to Peter about my living situation more than I meant to. The way my parents dismissed me. The way Mandarin got everything handed to her. The utter unfairness of it all. I didn’t want his pity, but having someone listen, really listen, had felt like a weight off my shoulders.

A low rumble of thunder echoed outside, followed by a quick flash of lightning that lit up the bedroom. I glanced at the window before standing, more comfortable with my nudity as I stretched. “It’s not like I want to go back,” I admitted, “but what choice do I have?”

Peter watched me with an unreadable expression as I gathered up my things and headed toward the bathroom. “What choice do you have?” he repeated under his breath, his tone quiet but sharp.

I paused in the doorway, looking back at him. His brows furrowed, concern clouding his face.

“Don’t worry about it, Peter. I’ll figure it out,” I said before slipping into the bathroom.

As I closed the door, I leaned against it for a second, staring at the sleek tile floor. My reflection stared back at me from the mirror across the room.

I shook off my thoughts and stepped into the shower, trying to focus on the here and now. Peter had been more of a safe haven than I ever expected, but deep down, I knew it couldn’t last.

Moments into my shower, I heard the bathroom door creak open. My heart skipped for a second before the shower curtain shifted, and there stood Peter, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. His hair was a mess, strands falling over his forehead, and the boyish charm he carried so effortlessly was impossible to ignore.

“Mind if I join?” he asked, his tone casual, but the glint in his eyes told a different story.

I smirked, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t see why not.”

What followed was another blur of heat and steam—more stolen kisses, hands exploring skin, and water cascading down our bodies as if trying to wash away whatever had brought us together in the first place. By the time we were finished, my legs were jelly, and Peter looked annoyingly satisfied with himself.

Wrapped in a fluffy towel, I padded into his bedroom and rummaged through the shopping bags neatly tucked away in his closet. Another bonus to staying with Peter: Gerald had apparently decided to stock the closet with clothes for me “just in case.” I wasn’t sure how I felt about being preemptively prepared for, but as I sifted through the luxury brands, Gucci, Chanel, Versace, I couldn’t bring myself to complain.

I tugged on a soft, oversized sweater and paired it with sleek leggings, all while Peter leaned against the closet door, arms crossed and a towel slung low around his waist. I could feel his eyes on me, a quiet intensity that made me pause mid-motion.

“What?” I asked, turning to face him.

He shrugged, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Nothing.”

“Then why are you staring at me like that?”

He hesitated for a moment, like he was choosing his words carefully. “Why don’t you stay with me?”

I blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

“Stay here,” he said, unfolding his arms and stepping closer. “You don’t have to go back to that place. To them.”

“Peter…” I started, but he cut me off, his voice gentle.

“Listen, I know you think you can handle it, and you can. But you don’t have to. Not alone, anyway.”

I sighed, gripping the hem of the sweater. “It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” he pressed. “I have plenty of space, you’re already comfortable here, and I like having you around. Just think about it.”

The way he looked at me then, earnest and almost vulnerable, made me falter. For a moment, I considered it. The thought of not having to go back home, to the moldy basement, to Mandarin’s smug glances and my parents’ indifference, was tempting.

But as much as I wanted the escape, something in my gut held me back.

“I’ll think about it,” I finally said, hoping it would satisfy him for now.

Peter smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “That’s all I’m asking.”

As he turned to grab clothes for himself, I exhaled, the air feeling heavier in my lungs. Deep down, I knew this was dangerous, not just staying here, but everything. Peter, his kindness, the luxury, the temporary reprieve from reality… it was all too good to be true.

Peter insisted on dropping me off at school.

Up until now, he’d been fine letting me walk, which I didn’t mind. What used to be an hour-and-a-half commute had turned into a 20-minute stroll, 25 if I stopped by the coffee shop. But this time, he insisted, even going so far as to have the valet park his car right outside 10 minutes before we left the building.

I relented, mostly because I figured he’d miss me. After all, this was my last day at his place. I’d packed up my books and grabbed the rest of my stuff that had been left behind in Nikki’s car, making sure to leave Peter’s tablet on his desk. I had no intention of coming back that evening.

The drive to school took less than five minutes, and Peter pulled right up to the main entrance. It was almost obnoxious how easy everything was when you had money.

“See you,” Peter said, shooting me a grin as I climbed out. “You’re welcome back anytime.”

“Bye,” I mumbled quickly, shutting the door behind me before he could say anything else.

Unfortunately, Carrot was there too—standing by the steps, eyes wide as she watched me step out of Peter’s luxury car.

“Uh, you’re here early,” I said, trying to deflect as I made a beeline toward her.

“Yeah,” she replied, still staring at the car. “I thought I’d keep you company at the library before our session today.”

“Right,” I muttered, gripping her arm and steering her away from the crowd of eyes I could feel burning into me.

Behind me, I heard Peter’s an obnoxious beep. I glanced back to see him waving with that same smirk plastered on his face. Carrot waved shyly in return.

“That’s Peter Parker,” she whispered, her voice low, as if saying his name out loud would make this moment any more surreal.

“Yep,” I said curtly.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as we crossed the threshold into the library. “Why were you in his car?”

“He gave me a ride,” I replied nonchalantly, placing my bag under the librarian station.

Carrot didn’t buy it. “Why?”

I turned to face her, keeping my expression calm. “Because I slept over at his place last night. Actually for the last few nights.”

Her jaw dropped. “Wait—what?”

I could already feel Magda, the school librarian, eyeing us like a hawk circling prey, so I grabbed a stack of returns and motioned for Carrot to follow me deeper into the shelves.

“Have you been staying there since the party?” she whispered urgently, trailing after me like she was piecing together a murder mystery. “That was a week ago!”

“Friday was the party,” I said, sliding a book back onto the shelf. “It’s Wednesday. It hasn’t been a week yet—just a few days.” I corrected

Carrot gasped, her hands flying to her mouth in shock. “Does Nikki know?”

I paused, glancing over at her puppy-dog expression. She looked so betrayed, as if I’d been keeping the country’s deepest secrets from her.

“No one knows, Carrot,” I said softly.

Her voice dropped even lower, like she was afraid someone might overhear us. “Why are you keeping it a secret?”

I shrugged, sliding another book onto the shelf. “I’m not. It’s just… no one asked.”

“How are we supposed to ask if we don’t know anything?” she said, exasperated.

I didn’t have a good answer for that. I stayed quiet, focusing on the books in front of me.

“Unless…” Carrot hesitated, her voice tinged with concern. “Unless you don’t want anyone to know?”

“It was only meant to be temporary,” I admitted, finally turning to face her. “Today’s my last day there. I’m going home tonight.”

She blinked at me, like she wasn’t sure whether to believe me or not. I tried to smile, but just saying the words made my stomach twist in knots.

Home.

Just the idea of it made me want to barf.

Look," I turned to Carrot, pausing to glance over my shoulder as I organized the stack of returns. “I didn’t mean to hold this back from you.”

She hovered nearby, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I get it,” she said quietly, her tone softer now. “It’s just… I didn’t expect it.”

I sighed, carefully placing another book on the shelf. “Yeah. Same here.”

“You should tell Nikki, though,” Carrot added after a beat, tucking her hands into the sleeves of her sweater. “I think she’d want to know.”

“I will,” I promised with a small smile.

Carrot nodded, seemingly satisfied, and turned to find herself a quiet spot in the library to wait for me. She’d told me earlier her brother was picking her up after our tutoring session, but for now, she was content to kill time and keep me company, at least from a distance.

I slipped back into the rhythm of my work, shelving returns, helping a student find a reference book, and manning the circulation desk. It wasn’t glamorous, but I liked the predictable routine of it. It gave me something solid to focus on when everything else felt like it was teetering on the edge.

As the hours crawled by, the weather shifted. What had started as a soft drizzle outside gradually transformed into a relentless downpour, the sound of heavy rain pounding against the library windows. By the time my shift ended, the storm had grown fierce, the wind howling like it had something to prove.

I grabbed my bag and met Carrot by one of the tables she’d claimed. She had her nose buried in a novel, but when she saw me approach, she snapped it shut and stood up.

“All done?” she asked, slinging her backpack over one shoulder.

“Yep. You ready for your session?”

She nodded, following me to the study area.

Our tutoring session passed quickly, filled with quiet concentration and the occasional question. Carrot worked hard, as always, but she seemed distracted, stealing glances toward the windows every time thunder cracked. By the time we packed up, the rain outside had turned the campus walkways into rivers, the gutters overflowing under the relentless downpour.

Carrot pulled up the hood of her jacket as we stepped outside, her shoes already soaked from the puddles. “This weather is ridiculous,” she muttered.

I adjusted my bag over my shoulder, tugging my own hoodie tighter around my head. “Tell me about it.”

We reached the bus stop near the edge of campus, where the wind whipped at our clothes and the rain pelted sideways beneath the shelter’s overhang.

“Do you need a ride home?” Carrot asked suddenly, looking up at me with concern. “My brother should be here soon. You don’t have to wait out here like this.”

I shook my head, forcing a small smile. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“You sure?” She frowned, her eyes scanning my face. “You’ll get sick if you stand out here too long.”

“I’ll be okay,” I reassured her, though the damp chill was already sinking into my bones.

She studied me for a moment longer, clearly not convinced, but before she could argue, her brother’s car appeared, headlights cutting through the storm.

“That’s him,” she said, pulling her hood tighter. “Text me when you get home, okay? Promise?”

“Promise,” I said, waving her off.

I watched as she ran to the car, hopping inside quickly to escape the rain. Her brother pulled away moments later, leaving me alone at the bus stop.

I sighed, shifting my weight as the wind whipped through the empty streets, carrying the sharp chill of the storm, and of course the bus was late.

Home was waiting for me, but I lingered under the shelter, staring out at the rain. For a brief moment, I let myself wish I was anywhere else.

When the bus finally arrived, my stomach sank like a stone. I was dreading going home, and no amount of deep breathing or distraction could shake the heavy feeling that had taken up residence in my chest. I did my best to keep it together, trying not to fall apart in this very public setting. Once I reached the stop closest to my house, I stepped off and began the slow, reluctant walk through my neighborhood.

As my house came into view, I immediately noticed the porch was cluttered with a pile of stuff. For a brief moment, I thought maybe Mom was renovating another room. But as I got closer, the pit in my stomach grew heavier. The items weren’t random. They were familiar.

Too familiar.

By the time I reached the walkway, it hit me like a freight train: all my things, everything I owned, were stacked haphazardly on the porch, soaked through by the storm. The rain fell steadily, each drop a mockery of my life. I froze, staring at the heap of drenched belongings, my mind spinning to catch up with the sight in front of me.

I felt a bitter laugh bubbling in my throat, but it never came. Was this some sort of cosmic joke? First, I lost half my stuff to the basement flood. Now, the universe had decided to make an encore performance and drown the rest of my life on the porch.

It took a moment for the anger to arrive. The initial shock had to move aside to make room for it.

“What the fuck?” I muttered under my breath, rushing toward the pile in a desperate attempt to salvage something—anything. My voice grew louder as the realization set in. “What the fuck?!”

I yanked a box open and found my laptop buried underneath. The waterlogged device practically dripped as I pulled it out. When I opened it, water spilled out, short-circuiting any hope I had left of saving it. A choked noise escaped me, somewhere between a scream and a groan, before I threw the laptop to the ground in a fit of rage. It landed with a hollow crack, splitting in half but not shattering as I’d hoped.

All my things were ruined.

The anger boiled over, spilling into my movements as I dug through the pile. I began sorting through everything with a mix of fury and despair, tossing anything salvageable into a smaller pile while angrily hurling the ruined items aside. A soaked pillow, ruined. My textbooks, swollen and illegible. Clothes that reeked of damp and mildew, unsalvageable. The more I sorted, the more useless it all seemed. My life felt like it was disintegrating before my eyes, one piece at a time.

Then I stopped. My hands froze mid-motion, and I let the rain wash over me as the reality sank in. I couldn’t keep doing this. There was nothing left for me here, no room, no respect, no support.

Peter’s words echoed in my mind, unbidden but steady: “Why don’t you just stay with me?”

I glanced at my phone, the rainwater smudging the screen as I pulled it out of my pocket. My hands trembled as I scrolled through my contacts, stopping at Peter’s name. For a moment, I just stared at it, debating whether to press call.

This wasn’t the life I wanted. It wasn’t the path I had envisioned for myself. But right now, it felt like the only choice I had left.

Forcing down the anger clawing at my chest, I pulled out my phone and dialed Peter’s number. The line barely ringing before he picked up.

“Hey,” he said, his voice warm and casual, like he’d been waiting for me to call. “What’s up?”

“How soon can you pick me up?” My voice was calm, but my grip on the phone tightened as I stared at the mess in front of me.

There was a brief pause on his end. “Tonight?”

“Yeah,” I said firmly. “Tonight.”

“Send me the address,” he said without hesitation. “I’ll be there, as soon as I can.”

Hanging up, I leaned against a porch pillar, my mind racing. For once, I didn’t care what my parents thought or what Mandarin would say. I wasn’t going to spend another night pretending everything was fine.

Taking a deep breath, I sent Peter the address and headed inside to the kitchen to find some plastic bags to pack what little I could salvage. The house was quiet; everyone was likely in their rooms, blissfully unaware of how much my life was unraveling. 

ifteen minutes later, I had a single garbage bag ready to go. I sat down on a porch chair, soaked from the rain, waiting for Peter.

The door creaked open behind me, and Mandarin waddled out, one hand on her swollen belly and the other clutching the doorframe for support. She surveyed the mess of my things strewn across the porch.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” she started, her voice dripping with fake regret. “Mom insisted it would be fine out here. Didn’t think it’d rain this hard.”

I ignored her.

“It’s okay, though,” she added, rubbing her belly with a satisfied smile. “Can’t have it too crowded for Junior here.”

“Right,” I said flatly. Deciding I wasn’t in the mood to let her get away with this, I added, “Funny how Junior’s daddy couldn’t even find a way to shelter his own kid. Instead, he shoves his little cumbucket into her parents’ house.”

Mandarin froze, her expression faltering. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me,” I said, standing and crossing my arms. “Who’s the father, Mandarin?”

“I—I told you,” she stammered, her voice rising defensively. “It was a one-night stand.”

“Bullshit.” I took a step closer. “I don’t know what ninth circle of hell your baby daddy is from for you to lie about him like this, but I’m onto your shit.”

Her lips pressed into a thin line, her eyes narrowing as she tried to keep her composure. “You must think you’re so smart, huh?”

“I don’t think—I know,” I snapped. “And I know that if I dig deep enough, I’ll figure out who he is. And when I do? I’m blasting it everywhere, turd for brains.”

Mandarin’s frown deepened, and for a split second, there was a flicker of fear in her eyes. “You’ll never figure it out,” she said, her voice quieter now. “He won’t let you.”

“Why? Because he’s married?” I asked, my tone sharp and sarcastic.

Her silence told me everything. Her shocked expression, the way her mouth fell open just slightly, was all the confirmation I needed.

“Oh, you’re such a conniving bitch,” I muttered, more to myself than to her.

“What?!” she shrieked, her voice high-pitched and panicked.

“Fuck, Mandarin,” I said, shaking my head. “I always thought you were spoiled and selfish, but this? This is on another level.”

“I didn’t say anything!” she hissed, her eyes darting around like a trapped animal. She was looking for an escape or maybe for someone to come to her rescue.

“What the hell are you looking for?” I yelled, throwing my hands up.

“Shut up!” she whispered harshly, her voice trembling. “Someone will hear you.”

“You’re just terrible all around,” I said, disgusted.

“Girls, what’s going on out there?” Mom’s voice rang from inside the house.

“Nothing!” we both said in unison, Mandarin’s voice cracking under the strain. She turned back to me, her face pale.

“He’s not married,” she whispered urgently.

“But he’s something close to married, isn’t he?” I shot back.

Her guilty expression was answer enough.

“When I blow this up,” I said, lowering my voice to a cold, even tone, “I’m going to make sure I have all the evidence I need. I don’t need to go to Mom and Dad with some half-baked theory. Especially since it looks like you have no intention of stopping.”

“Clementine, please,” she begged, her voice breaking.

“Fuck you,” I said, stepping closer, my voice dripping with venom.

“Clementine, you don’t understand, he’s not someone you can mess with.”

“Oh, he sounds real important,” I sneered. “Does he have a lot of money?”

“Clementine!” she screeched, tears streaming down her face.

“What’s going on out here?” Mom’s voice cut through the air again, this time accompanied by the sound of footsteps. Dad followed closely behind her, his expression stern.

Mandarin immediately started crying harder, throwing herself into Mom’s arms. Dad turned his sharp gaze on me. “What did you do to her, Clementine?”

I said nothing, just stared back at him, the anger still burning in my chest.

I heard a honk and turned my head to see Peter's car idling at the curb. The trunk popped open, and Peter stepped out, making his way toward the porch.

“Peter?” Mandarin said, her tear-streaked face scrunching in confusion before her eyes widened with recognition.

Peter’s approach was casual, like this was an everyday occurrence. “Oh, hey, Mandarin,” he said with a friendly smile. “I didn’t know you lived here.”

“Um, excuse me, young man?” my mother cut in, her tone sharp and full of suspicion. “Who are you?”

Peter extended a hand toward her, undeterred by the frostiness in her voice. “I’m Peter Parker. Nice to meet you.”

My mother ignored his outstretched hand, her expression cold. I gave Mandarin one last glance before grabbing my bag and heading toward Peter’s car.

Peter quickly intercepted, taking the garbage bag from my hands. I noticed my broken laptop already in his other hand. “I’ve got it,” he said softly, his tone grounding me in the moment.

“Where are you going, young lady?” my father demanded, confusion flickering across his face.

“I’m leaving,” I said flatly, stepping off the porch. “There’s no room for me here, and I’ve found somewhere that is.”

“Oh, you’re just being dramatic,” my mother said dismissively, still clutching a tearful Mandarin in her arms like she was some tragic victim.

“You think you can get by without us?” my father barked, his voice rising.

I stopped in my tracks and turned back to face them, making sure they saw the resolve in my expression. “I’ve gotten this far without your help,” I said firmly. “I’m in school, I’m working, and I’m building a future for myself. So, yeah, I think I can manage.”

“Don’t be a brat,” my father snapped, his eyes narrowing.

Peter closed the trunk and moved to the driver’s seat, giving me a reassuring nod as I made my way to his car.

“Don’t come crawling back!” my father yelled after me.

I paused, turning my head just enough to deliver one final blow. “Enjoy your favorite whore daughter,” I shot back, my voice cold.

“Clementine!” my mother shouted, her voice cracking with indignation.

Peter was already at the passenger door, holding it open for me. He gave my family a polite wave before I slid into the seat.

As we drove off, I glanced out the window one last time. My parents stood frozen on the porch, their shocked faces a mixture of disbelief and anger. Mandarin’s face, tear-streaked and desperate, only made me scoff. She looked pathetic, clutching her belly as though she were the victim in all this.

I turned my gaze forward, leaving them—and everything they represented—behind me. Whatever was ahead couldn’t possibly be worse than what I was leaving behind. For the first time in a long time, I felt the faintest flicker of hope.

"How do you know Mandarin?" I asked, suspicion creeping into my tone.

Peter glanced at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road. "She’s one of Pepper’s friends."

I stayed quiet, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Whenever Tony throws a party, she usually tags alongside her," he added with a shrug, his tone casual.

I nodded slowly, digesting the information. "Right." A thought popped into my head, and I decided to press further. "By the way, do you know who got her pregnant?" I asked, my voice carefully neutral. "I figure it had to be someone in those upper circles you run in, right?"

Peter shrugged again, his expression unreadable. "I only ever see her with the other girls or Pepper. If she’s been seeing someone, she’s keeping it under wraps."

I sighed, leaning back against the seat. The more I thought about it, the more tiring the whole ordeal seemed. At the height of my anger, uncovering Mandarin’s baby daddy had felt like a mission, a way to expose her for the spoiled, manipulative brat she was. But now, the idea of digging into her secrets felt like more trouble than it was worth.

The exhaustion of the day weighed on me heavily, my eyelids growing heavier with every passing second. Before I knew it, I was slumped against the passenger seat, the hum of the car lulling me to sleep.

Dreams of blurry shapes and strange, oblong figures swirled in my mind, distant and incomprehensible. Somewhere in the haze of sleep, I could feel the tension of the day melting away, replaced by a fleeting sense of peace. For now, at least, I didn’t have to think about Mandarin, my parents, or anything else that had been weighing me down.

[dakimiauw]

I can really imagine Iso being the type of boyfriend who would cuddle with Gn!reader while being the most gentle ever after a mission. Either comforting reader or taking care of them

HE WOULD BE SO GENTLE UHHA EBWVWNQNQ QJQNQQH QQK Q UGHHH 😞😞😞

(This is my first time writing a fic in full English, please remember that english is not my first language and Iso might be a little OOC because of my headcannons. Please notify me of any mistake!)

˚₊‧꒰ა Bad Days. » Iso x GN.ᐟreader. ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

౨ৎ It all started at the day’s end, when Y/N got into their dormitory, getting into fresh clothes and when they finally got all done and relaxed out of their combat suit, a knock at the door could be heard, and that, made Y/N sigh. “How can I help?” They said as they opened the door, looking up straight to Iso, their partner who only opened his arms as reader fell in for a hug. “Just came to check up on you, Brim said it was tough.” His voice was just so so soothing it made you relax in his arms, and then everything was warm and you slept in his arms.

Y/N woke up kind of sweaty and with the ‘where am I?’ kind of face, until they saw Iso’s body close to theirs, he was warm and his face was neutral, his eyes closed but still, his hands were massaging Y/N’s sore body, while murmuring comfort and praise words in mandarin, which made Y/N smile and blush, while snuggling more into his chest to sleep some more.

[insert-witty-user-name-here]

WIP Wednesday

Hello, it’s me- the angst fairy- back again with something needlessly angsty. I was reminded recently about a scene I’d deleted from an old fic of mine. No regrets about deleting, it was the right decision, but I was sad to cut it. B-15 deserves more character analysis. So sharing it now.

Tagging just a few folks who I don’t think will mind the angst but anyone else who sees this and wants to participate in sharing their art or writing- please do! 💚 (And please tag me in your posts so I don’t miss it) @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @lgwilt @dewdropreader

Deleted scene from a fic where Mobius is trying to ignore his trauma but the memories of those he’s pruned keep on coming. B-15 helps him through it. (I noticed on B-15’s Funko Pop that she tracked her kills on her helmet and decided, as I do, there’s an angsty story there.)

Verity stopped and opened a small door to their left, pulling Mobius inside an empty room.

“I thought you said we were running late to another meeting?”

“There’s no meeting,” she said. “Just looked like you needed a break from the briefing. Take a minute.”

Mobius nodded and let his head fall against the door behind him, relishing the feeling of cool metal against his skin. It was quiet. There were no glaring lights, no beeping machines, no questions he didn’t know the answer to. Mobius took a few steady breaths until the headache pounding in his head subsided. He opened his eyes to find Verity watching him closely.

“Thanks,” Mobius said, pushing himself from the door and straightening his tie. “I feel better. Don’t tell Loki he was right. He warned me that a meeting on numerical code methodology for new timelines would put me to sleep.”

He turned to share a laugh with Verity but her face didn’t show any amusement. Instead, she looked concerned.

“I don’t think this was as simple as you falling asleep in a meeting,” she said carefully.

Mobius stilled. He had hoped his episodes weren’t noticeable but he should have known he wouldn’t be able to keep them from Verity. She was smart. It’s why he named her Deputy Director.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked after a few moments of silence.

Flashes of a park on a sunny day, a couple laughing, a timestick in his hand, a scream of terror, and a case file— variants eliminated— sped through Mobius’ mind before they were gone.

“No… I don’t remember what I was thinking about,” Mobius answered honestly. It was probably for the best he didn’t remember.

Verity frowned. “You shouldn’t repress your memories.”

Mobius slumped back against the door with a groan. She was right. While they still didn’t quite understand what the TVA had done to them, they were beginning to understand how they could heal their broken minds. Mobius knew the steps a TVA worker should take when they felt their memories resurface —he’d help write the protocol— but it was time consuming. For an organization that existed outside time, Mobius sure felt they were constantly running out of it. He didn’t have time to practice the techniques he’d taught others.

“There are too many cases that need my attention right now,” Mobius said.

“You need to offload some of those. I keep telling you-”

“I know, I know. I will. I just need to get through this Mandarin case first.”

“And then?” Verity pressed.

“And then I’ll take a few days off and sort through some of this… stuff.

Verity gave a disbelieving huff.

“I will.”

A heavy silence fell between the two agents and Mobius looked at the room around them. They were in one of the storage rooms that used to hold confiscated variants’ possessions. Without the stolen artifacts filling the shelves, the room seemed hollow. Purposeless. Mobius didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it in the reallocation.

“You’re not the only one who’s struggling,” Verity whispered. Her voice was soft, so soft that even in the silence of the abandoned room Mobius hardly heard her. At first, he wasn’t sure she intended to speak the words out loud.

“That’s how I knew you were having an episode,” she continued, twiddling with the cufflinks on her new suit in an uncharacteristic show of nerves. “I get these… headaches sometimes. Everything blurs together and I can’t remember where or when I am. It’s like I’m lost in my memories or, no, it’s like I’m trapped… trapped by him again… like we never escaped.”

Verity clenched her eyes shut with a sharp inhale of breath as if she were trapped inside a memory right now and Mobius reached out, taking her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. He knew how terrifying it was to be stuck in your memories, to feel like you were back under his control. They may have defeated He Who Remains but he was still here. He always would be. There was no amount of running they could do to escape him entirely. It made Mobius feel weak. He hated thinking Verity felt the same.

“Did you know I used to track kills on my helmet?” Verity asked.

Mobius nodded. He remembered. His memories might be splintered but he remembered enough. He remembered what they were a part of.

“I hated that thing,” she scowled. “I hated that number printed on the side. The paint was fresh when I started but sometimes I swore I could see the etchings of another number. The number of whoever I replaced when they were deemed ineffective. I wondered how long it would be before they replaced me.

“I thought if I marked my helmet as my own, if I made it look different, I would feel better. They wouldn’t paint over it so easy. I thought if I pruned more than anyone else, I could prove to the Timekeepers that I was better than everyone else in my unit. That I would feel useful, good, like what I was doing mattered but-” Verity’s voice cracked and Mobius squeezed her hand tighter. “I only ever felt more angry. So, I pruned more hoping that feeling would go away. It never did. It just kept getting worse and worse and worse until…” Verity trailed off.

“Until Sylvie,” Mobius finished.

“Until Sylvie,” Verity agreed, wiping her eyes and pulling back with a soft smile on her face. “Sylvie showed me everything I lost and suddenly it all made sense. I knew why I hated that number. I knew why I woke up furious at the world, looking to punish anyone who got in my way. It’s because that number wasn’t my name. Who they made me wasn’t me.

“They took everything from us and while we can’t travel back in time and change what was done, we can change our future. We have the opportunity to fight for something we believe in now. Sylvie and Loki gave us that.”

Warmth spread through Mobius as the mention of Loki’s name. He looked down at the ring on his left hand and smiled, running his finger along the band again. He would never understand how he’d gotten so lucky; he would do everything in his power to be the man Loki believed him to be.

“You gave us this opportunity too,” Verity added. “When we burnt down our old TVA, you built a new one and you didn’t dictate a new purpose but rather showed us what a new purpose could be. We chose to follow you. We choose this life. And…” Mobius felt Verity give his hands a gentle squeeze. “You don’t need to carry it alone. We want to help you.”

Mobius carefully untangled his hands from Verity’s and took a step backwards. “I know.”

“Good,” Verity nodded with an air of finality. “At least let Loki help you. I don’t know what’s going on between you two but he’s started helping me with my cases.”

Mobius snorted. He could only imagine how that was going.

“It’s not funny, Mobius. He’s driving me nuts. You need to let him return to smothering you otherwise I might just send him to the Void without his TemPad.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Mobius chuckled at Verity’s hollow threat. “I’ll talk to him. Now, come on. I think we both deserve a little treat after all this. Let’s see what Processing confiscated today.”

Verity hesitated. “Mobius, I don’t care how many different variations you force me to try, I’m not going to like any timeline’s Josta.”

“What?? After all that talk about hope and change. One day I am going to find you a Josta you like. But no, I actually wasn’t talking about Josta this time. I heard Processing just got back with a case full of strawberry margarita mix. If that interests you.”

Verity’s face lit up in a brilliant smile. “Now, you’re speaking my language. Lead the way, Director. Josta aside, I’ll follow you anywhere.”

I’ll follow you anywhere.

Mobius’ steps faltered as he swallowed over the lump of fear in his throat at the words. Verity and the entire TVA would follow him. They were depending on him to show them the way, to fix things and Mobius couldn’t let them down. He wouldn’t.

Okay, I’ll write something fluffy and cute for next time. I promise I do know how to write sweet things 😅

[libellule-ao3]

✨️Hello @starry-slithers !✨️

I’m your Secret Santa, and to wish you a 🎄Merry Christmas🎄!

I was delighted to get to know you, as well as Avania and Cariad. Here is a ficlet focused on Avania. I hope you enjoy it and that it adds a touch of magic to this festive season. Wishing you a wonderful end of the year!

Your Secret Santa/Libellule-ao3. 🎅

I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank @dwightschrute11 and @ladyofsappho for this lovely initiative and their organisation!💖

Dividers:A/N: @anitalenia

The soft flicker of candlelight painted golden waves across the living room walls, as if the sea itself had spilled into the house. To five-year-old Avania, it wasn’t a room anymore—it was the deck of a ship, and she was the brave captain.

Somewhere in this vast, magical world, a treasure awaited her: a single tangerine. Her first mission was clear—find it. Only then could she claim her prize.

Concentration creased her forehead. Her parents had told her that, in order to receive her Christmas present, she first had to find a tangerine.

Just one.

And they had hidden it.

Avania loved tangerines. They were one of those rare, precious fruits that only appeared during the festive season, like a promise of sweetness in the midst of the rigours of winter. She still remembered last year, the explosion of sweet aromas on her tongue, the sticky juice on her fingers and the delicious smell when her mum placed the peel on the corner of the stove. But this year, one mandarin wasn't enough. No! It had to be found. It was a treasure hunt, and Avania had every intention of winning.

‘Look everywhere,’ her mother had said with a smile. ‘You have to earn a treasure.’

Her father had added, looking up from his newspaper: ‘And don't forget to explore every nook and cranny.’

Avania had nodded, a determined look on her face.

She straightened up and looked around the room. A tangerine... It wasn't big, but it couldn't just disappear! Surely her parents had found a clever hiding place?

With a quick step, she headed for the kitchen. She opened the drawers one by one, her little hands groping their way to the bottom. She also inspected the cupboards and looked under the furniture, her tongue protruding from her lips as she concentrated. To no avail. Her heart beat a little faster with each empty space.

‘A good sailor never gives up,’ she repeated to herself, as if to give herself courage.

But a little voice, lurking deep inside her, whispered that she might fail. What if the tangerine was so well hidden that she could never find it? And what if her parents couldn’t remember where they had put it? That already happened once with Dad’s “safely stored” glasses.

She shook her head. No, it couldn't be.

A sweet smell wafted through the air, a subtle clue that Avania forced herself to follow. She sniffed the air like a puppy sniffing a treat, her little nostrils twitching, until she was back in the living room. There, on the windowsill behind the curtain, an orange glow caught her eye. She approached it with bated breath, only to realise with disappointment that it was the reflection of a copper jug. Avania sighed in frustration as Dad looked on, interrupting his newspaper reading.

She spun around, staring at the decorated Christmas tree that was beginning to spread its needles across the carpet. Paper-cut garlands her brother had made, painted pine cones and a cardboard star stood proudly.

Nothing like a tangerine.

Yet... Avania approached and bent down, inspecting the low branches. Nothing there either. Then she opened the large wood box, which she almost fell into by leaning too far.

Then she heard a laugh behind her.

‘The best treasures are where no-one would ever set foot,’ said Papa, with a mischievous smile on his lips.

Avania frowned. Her eyes shifted from the fireplace to the entrance, where her mother’s coat was hanging. Carefully placed on a small table nearby, her gaze settled on her mother’s fur muff, the one she used to keep her hands warm during outings. It seemed almost to invite curiosity. Avania approached it with small, hesitant steps, her heart pounding wildly. She cautiously reached out and slipped her fingers into the muff. She felt something round, cool, and soft. Carefully, she grasped the object and slowly pulled it out, revealing a mandarin, shining like a miniature sun, its scent filling the air around her.

‘I've found it!’ she shouted triumphantly.

Her parents applauded. Her mother approached, a tender gleam in her eyes.

‘Well done! But your journey doesn't end here. Come and see your present.’

Avania went ahead of her parents to her stocking hanging on the wall, clutching her tangerine to her chest like a priceless treasure. Carefully, the little girl removed the strange object that was distorting it and placed it on the table. It was a varnished wooden box topped by a circular glass dial where fine hands seemed to dance around elegantly engraved numerals.

‘What is it?’ she asked, fascinated.

Her father crouched down beside her, a proud smile on his face.

‘It's a barometer,’ he explained. ‘It measures air pressure to predict the weather. Sailors use it to avoid storms.’

Avania's eyes lit up. A sailor's object? She couldn't believe her ears. She dreamt of the sea, of its mysteries, of ships sailing off into the distance, where secret treasures were waiting to be discovered.

‘Wait a minute,’ added her father with a knowing smile, ’to see if the needle is moving, you sometimes have to give it a little tap.’

He gently tapped the glass with the tip of his forefinger, and the needle oscillated and stabilised at another indication: ‘fine weather’.

Avania felt a wave of pride wash over her. She tapped the glass in turn, imitating her father, and watched the needle move. She didn't fully understand it yet, but she knew it was a treasure. More than a gift, it was a promise. A promise of distant horizons and adventures to come.

For a five-year-old girl, this was starting her greatest quest.

A/N: English is not my native language, so please forgive any possible mistakes.

[digitalstardust]

TFP Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee and Arcee with a human s/o that likes to sing

Hi everyone! I know that I said I would post Part 2 of Wildest Dreams this week, but I'm not sure when I would finish it since I have a TON of work to finish, so I'll see do I get around to finish it at all.

There are a couple of songs that I will mention and the links' below! There are some in Chinese and Korean, so if you want the translation you can search it up or ask me for them :)

Enjoy!

Notes: Fluff, fluff, gender neutral reader

TEAM PRIME

Optimus Prime

Optimus has a pretty nice voice so I would say he used to sing before the war.

He was relatively shocked to find out that you sang too.

He found out one day when you and the humans were having fun and goofing around. Miko was trying to sing a song in Mandarin and the kids were covering their ears due to the limited Mandarin words she could speak.

You took that as a chance and took over for her, not missing a single word and reaching every high note.

That left them speechless and left you with a very red face.

After that, he would silently with you would sing all the time.

You can't blame him, honestly, since he has a love for music too.

I think the music on Cybertron is quite different from Earth, so he would love to listen to you sing.

He doesn't care if you sing well or not, he just loves your voice.

His favorite song would probably be 'Something just like this' because it somewhat reminds him of the life he had when he was a clerk in the Iacon Hall of Records.

He would probably ask you to sing for him when he's feeling down.

He would also sing for you when you don't feel well or is feeling sad, and honestly that man has the voice of a god.

You are the only one he sings to, so don't abuse that privilege.

"I've been reading tales of old, the legends and the myths..."

Ratchet

This man... He is the complete opposite of Optimus Prime.

He would pretend he hates your singing because it 'disturbs him' but he actually looks forward to listening to your voice.

He discovered that you loved to sing when he heard you singing when working one day.

He grumbled and asked if you could stop because it was disrupting his work and when you didn't stop, he went over to see what was going on.

It turns out you had headphones in and couldn't hear him, still singing to whatever song you were singing to.

He secretly enjoyed your singing and was somewhat disappointed when you stopped.

But of course he said 'Thank Primus' or something along those lines.

He would pretend to hate your voice so much that you actually believed it and stopped singing.

Once he saw you crying in one of the vents (how did you get there?) and was surprised when you said you were crying because of how unconfident you felt whenever you sang.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that he was the reason you felt unconfident.

He immediately apologized and reassured you that you have a beautiful singing voice.

Honestly... That's just the way he is. A pretty nice guy pretending to be a jerk for some reason.

He hates to admit that he wants to hear you sing, but you usually know what he wants and sings for him.

His favorite song would be '白月光与朱砂痣', because it's the song you sang when he first discovered your beautiful voice. Even though he doesn't completely understand the lyrics, it sounds peaceful and soothing.

"白月光在照耀 你才想起她的好..."

Bumblebee

This boy is the most supporting boyfriend anyone could ever have. You are lucky to have him. Do not break his heart or you would be seeing me tonight.

He's young. Like really young. He was born into the war so he has little time where he could actually let loose and be a child, despite him always acting like one.

He has this certain pressure on him to be mature and a warrior, so he has never had a peaceful life.

He loves music on Earth, especially hype music. He would be the type that hates classical music since it's too boring.

A Kpop fan. A huge one. He would be listening to Kpop 24/7, and I'd say that his favorite band is Stray Kids (because who doesn't love them)

He would be the type that doesn't go out of his way to learn a song or a certain dance but just jumps to the rhythm and hums to the music.

He discovered your singing voice when you were singing to a tune under your breath when you heard the song coming from his speakers.

Needless to say he asked you to sing it again and again.

He would watch all the MVs and try to dance along (and breaking stuff in the process)

His favorite song would be 'Zoo', indefinitely. He loves the beat and the rhythm, and it makes him feel alive. It makes him want to jump up and dance, so it would be a bad choice for music when he's driving.

"Head to toe, cool like a lion, CEO, boss like a bison..."

Arcee

I feel like she wouldn't like songs that are too noisy because they actually disturb her (unlike a certain person mentioned above) but she wouldn't like songs that are way too quiet.

She would listen to classical music when trying to focus or work, but overall she would like to listen to songs that aren't too boring but aren't too hype.

I think she would be a great singer but decides not to because she needs to focus on whatever she's doing, same when she was back on Cybertron.

If she's a good singer, then she would be an even better dancer.

She's really agile and quick on her feet (unlike me lmao) and she could hear the beat in music 10 times faster than anyone else and can come up with dances for every song.

She used to be a dance teacher as a part-time back at Cybertron and was good at it. Why do you think she can do cartwheels, backflips and splits without a second thought? She was either a gymnast or dancer and I'm saying dancer.

She would somewhat be like Ratchet, not going to admit she loves your voice but not going to say she hates it too.

She discovered your love for singing when Miko was learning a new song to dance and sing to when you popped in.

Since she was Japanese, it was a bit hard for her to learn something in Korean, despite them being similar (I'm saying this because I have that difficulty too, but for those that don't have this problem correct me pls).

You popped in and taught her how to pronounce the words correctly and proceeding to sing the song yourself.

She was pleasantly surprised, to say the least.

I think her favorite song would be Chandelier by Sia, because it sounds really nice and she just loves the song for some reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I might make a second part with the rest of Team Prime or the Decepticons, but we'll see. I was going to make a full Team Prime for this one, but I didn't have enough time.

Songs are below:

Something Just Like This (Optimus):

白月光与朱砂痣 (Ratchet)：

Zoo (Bumblebee):

Chandelier (Arcee):

This wasn't good, I know but it was an idea I had and I wanted to finish it before I lost motivation :(

See you next week!

[gotta-winwin]

2020 <> the art of doing nothing

masterlist | cyana's masterlist

word count: 2.4k TW: angst, comfort, fluff (the holy trinity), panic attack, drinking of alcohol italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin a/n: idk why vernon's been like living in my mind 24/7 recently...here are some moments between cyana and vernon scattered throughout 2019 - early 2020!

ONE:

The first time Cyana had been present for one of Seventeen's infamous party nights, it had only been two weeks since her introduction to the team.

She had stared, openmouthed at the chaos, wondering what the hell she had gotten herself into.

"Random game! What game! GAME START!"

Throwing back another shot, she came to the realization that she would need to be hammered to keep up with their sheer energy.

From the other side of the room, Vernon sat with his arms languidly over Joshua's shoulders. He nursed his glass of soju, his movements slow and groggy. The recent lack of sleep was catching up to him. Roaming his eyes across the room, he noticed Cyana, sitting awkwardly to the side, her own eyes scanning the room like she was looking for an escape.

"I'll be back." He yelled over the noise into Joshua's ear, standing up when the older boy nodded.

"Yo." He walked over to where she sat, sitting down next to her, jolting her out of a daze.

She gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Hi, Vernon." Her voice was barely eligible over Dino's karaoke rap.

It only took one glance at Cyana for Vernon to tell that she was begging for an escape.

"You wanna get out of here?" He winced as he heard his words, realizing he sounded like one of those cliche bar guys. "I mean- let's go somewhere quieter." That didn't sound much better.

Thankfully, Cyana understood what he was trying to offer. Nodding, she motioned for him to lead the way, following him past a semi-drunk Hoshi twerking and out into the hallway.

"We should've warned you how insane our gatherings can get." He looked at her sheepishly as they entered his bedroom.

Still a little dazed from all the noise, Cyana could only hum, her concentration snatched away by the little trinkets in Vernon's room. Walking up to his shelf, she carefully inspected a mini-figure. "R2-D2?" She asked, pointing at it.

Vernon nodded. "A fan gave it to me."

He watched as she traced her finger across the shelves, inspecting all of his various figurines and collectables like they were prized jewels. He couldn't help but let a goofy grin shine across his face, thinking about how much she resembled a curious kitten in the current situation.

"If you ever need an escape again," He reminded her suddenly. "just let me know. I'm always down to ditch the others."

She turned away from his collections and faced him, a teasing smile on her face. "You just hate the noise as much as I do."

Vernon shrugged, admitting she was right. "Still. Win win situation."

TWO:

Cyana could swear Hansol Vernon Chwe had to be from outer space.

"What are you doing?" She asked him incredulously, stepping into his room to grab the coat she had forgotten.

He poked his head out from under his bed. "What?"

"Why are you under your bed?" She wondered, crouching down to get a better look. "You know beds are for lying on top of, right?"

He had the audacity to shoot her a judgy side-eye. "Of course I know that, I wasn't born yesterday."

She snorted. "Says the guy under the bed."

"I finally watched that show from Bridgerton, y'know the Queen Charlotte one. I wanted to know what being under the bed felt like."

Cyana couldn't help but let out a tiny awe at the revelation. Screw Vernon and his tendency to make the weirdest habits endearing. Getting on the ground, she poked his side. "Move over."

Shuffling to make room, Vernon's smile widened as Cyana squeezed herself under the bed to join him.

"It's just musty." Cyana said after a pause, scrunching her nose. "When was the last time you vacuumed under here?"

He turned his head to face her, jaw dropping with mock offense. "That's mean."

Cyana ignored him, staring at the bottom of the bed in silence. She had to begrudgingly admit that it was kind of nice, seeing the world from a different perspective. Lying under the bed felt like a weird, very cramped hug.

"It's nice, isn't it." Vernon's voice broke through the silence.

She hummed. "My mind's all silent for the first time in weeks."

"It's a little weird though."

She finally stopped training her eyes on the wooden supports to look at him, realizing he had already been looking at her. "You're a little weird."

He made a funny face. "What does that say about you? You're the one who joined me."

She shrugged. "We can be weird together."

"Okay."

Joshua stood outside the room, every fibre of his body concentrating on eavesdropping into their conversation. He had walked in to borrow Vernon's charger, only to find the two kids hiding under the bed. Letting out a huff of both disbelief and amusement, he shook his head. This was literally only something Cyana and Vernon would be up to.

THREE:

"Is Ana hiding in here?"

Vernon's voice echoed loudly through the Boohan apartment, reaching the ears of its residents, who were busy making dinner in the kitchen.

"Is that Vernon?" Seungkwan questioned, scooping a spoon-full of soup for Cyana to taste test. He blew gently to cool it before feeding her.

Cyana shot a thumbs up to Jeonghan, who was busy tending to the other dishes still on the stove. "Soup's great." She twisted her neck to call towards Vernon's voice. "We're in the kitchen!"

A couple seconds later, Vernon's dark brown hair peaked through the doorway as he walked in. "'Sup."

Seungkwan cornered him with yet another spoonful of soup.

"How'd you even get in?" Jeonghan wondered, a little miffed by the way Vernon so casually sauntered into an apartment that wasn't his.

Vernon choked down the soup, spluttering at the heat. Seungkwan hadn't shown him the same kindness of letting the soup cool that he had shown to Cyana. Answering through pants of pain, his eyes watered as he looked at Jeonghan. "I got a key from Boo."

Seungkwan threw his hands up in defence. "I gave it to him like one time for emergencies." Glancing at Vernon, he added, "Why are you even here?" They had assumed they had the night (and Cyana) to themselves.

Vernon looked a bit sheepish. "I kinda wanted to borrow Cyana for awhile."

"No." Seungkwan and Jeonghan's response was instant.

Jeonghan glared at Vernon, food on the stove long forgotten. "You guys at the main dorm literally had her for the past two weeks. Tonight is a Boohanana night."

"You guys can have her tomorrow night." Vernon offered.

Seungkwan rolled his eyes, cutting in. "Mingyu already called dibs for tomorrow night."

Cyana watched the conversation, her mouth open in disbelief. "I'm not some package!?" She protested indignantly. "What do you mean Mingyu called dibs?"

The boys traded knowing glances.

"What?" Cyana pestered, bewildered at the sight. "Wait- have you guys been moving me around on some schedule I don't know of?"

Neither boy could meet her gaze, each of them staring at some spot along the wall.

"Well-" Jeonghan looked at her sheepishly. "A lot of people have been complaining that they don't get enough time with you, and that the main dorm residents are hogging all your attention."

"So," Seungkwan continued for the older boy. "we thought you could just take turns sleeping over-"

"We have a separate groupchat to decide whose turn it is." Vernon couldn't take the push and pull the others were doing, cutting in to spill everything all at once. "Just so it's fair."

Cyana stared open-mouthed at the news. "What." She was more surprised she hadn't even realized she was being moved from apartment to apartment, following some kind of decided schedule. She frowned. "You know you guys could've just asked, right?"

"Cheol kept complaining he'd never see you- cause he's too much of a coward to ask." Jeonghan threw his friend under the bus, smirking.

Cyana couldn't help but snort out a laugh. "Sounds like him."

Suddenly remembering why Vernon was even here in the first place, Cyana turned to face him, pushing Jeonghan and Seungkwan gently back towards the stove before the food could burn. "What'd you want to borrow me for, Nonnie?"

"Kinda in the mood to do nothing." Vernon told her, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You wanna join?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You came all the way over to ask if I want to do nothing?"

She supposed it was very Vernon of him when he just simply nodded.

"Well.. how does one do nothing?" She asked him, genuinely curious.

He gave her a lazy shrug. "We can just sit. And do nothing."

Laughing at the absurdity, she nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the living room. Plopping both of them down on the couch, she gestured to him with a wave of her hand. "Okay. Let's do absolutely nothing."

He shot her a silly grin. "You're the best."

FOUR:

Filming for her second vlog episode was exhausting Cyana. The concept was simple enough: spend 24 hrs on vlog, periodically switching members to spend time with. It had been something Pledis staff had assigned her to do, seeing how fans wanted to see more of her dynamic with the boys.

"This is going to be the most boring vlog ever." Cyana grumbled, face-planted in Vernon's bed. "Literally all I do in my spare time is nap or watch shows."

Vernon hummed, relating to her dilemma. "Just plan some activities. Like- take Wonwoo to the arcade or something."

Rolling over onto her back, she blinked up at Vernon. The boy flashed her a smile, flopping next to her.

"You're so smart." She mumbled, patting his chest lovingly. "What do you want to do for your segment?"

She watched his eyebrows furrow, the question sending him into thought.

"I think we should just nap."

She looked at him blankly. "I don't think fans would enjoy that."

"Or we can go catch a movie."

She sat up, rejuvenated by the thought of it. "That actually sounds fun." For two people who loved films, they hadn't found the time in between tour and schedules to actually catch a movie together.

"Wait- but wouldn't fans just get like two hours of silence while we watch a movie? Can we even film in a theatre?"

Cyana frowned, realizing he was offering up good questions. "We can catch a movie and then film us talking about it while eating? Or we can walk around after."

Vernon raised a lazy hand up and flashed her a thumbs up. "You just get me."

Cyana laughed, lying back down. She enjoyed spending her lazy days lounging with Vernon, doing absolutely nothing and just recharging next to him.

"I know they all say Dino and I are twins, but I think we might have been separated at birth or something."

"Yeah, like I was thrown to New York and you were dropped in Vancouver."

FIVE:

It was four in the morning when Vernon awoke to a knock on his bedroom door.

Sitting up from his bed, bleary-eyed and still barely conscious, he watched as a small figure stepped into his room, shutting the door behind them.

He squinted at the intruder. "Ana?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes and falling back into bed. "It's too early."

"Vernon."

It was the sound of her voice that woke him up, like a cold bucket of ice water was dumped down his back. The way she said his name sounded more like a plea, a cry for help and it made Vernon sit bolt-upright in bed.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, just now aware that everyone was still sleeping.

Cyana crawled onto his bed and sat a little ways away from him. "I can't breathe."

It was only then did he realize the girl was clutching her chest, heaving in the midst of what looked to be a panic attack. He would've caught it sooner, had it not been for the darkness of the room.

Shuffling closer, his hands hovered over her as he panicked, unsure what to do. "What happened? Are you having a panic attack? Do you need something? What can I do?" A flurry of questions spilled from his mouth as he tried desperately to calm his own breathing. Two panicking people would only add to the chaos.

Cyana could only stay seated, trying to rein in her emotions. She hadn't accounted for this to happen - she thought her nightmares had finally began to leave her alone - but she'd woken up in a cold sweat, a hand clamped over her mouth to stop herself from screaming and waking everyone up.

Vernon could see her doing mental gymnastics inside her head. Getting up, he grabbed his laptop, switching on a random Disney movie. He had seen some tiktok about classic Disney movies being good for calming down kids - albeit Cyana was not a kid and was having a panic attack - but it was the best he could do at the moment.

Setting his laptop down on the bed in front of her, he shuffled closer and pulled her shivering frame into his arms. "I'm no good at this." He mumbled into her hair, silently asking for her to forgive his lack of knowledge. "You'd probably be better off knocking on Shua's door."

"Joshua would've made it a big deal." Her voice barely qualified as a whisper. "Everyone would have."

Vernon hummed, getting it. Cyana had came to him knowing he wouldn't freak out like the others.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked after a bout of silence, as he felt her breathing steady. "Is it about what happened in LA?

She stiffened in his arms at the mention of the city. "Yeah," was all she said.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Cyana shook her head, clutching onto him tighter. Vernon felt as if she was holding onto him in fear that he'd let her go.

"Okay. We don't have to talk about it." He looked down at her, taking notice that she seemed to be concentrated on the movie playing - or at least, pretending to be.

It took awhile, but both the movie and Vernon's silent support calmed Cyana down. The waters receded in her mind and she could close her eyes without seeing the faces in her nightmare.

She had padded out her room and into the hallway, desperately searching for someone- anyone to remind her that she was in Seoul and not in LA. She had knocked on Vernon's door knowing he wouldn't pester her for answers, that he would offer his company in silence- that he would understand the last thing she wanted was someone worrying over her.

Vernon let her recuperate in silence, not once breaking the comforting hold he had around her. The pieces were piecing together in his mind about the mystery in LA and he didn't enjoy the picture he was beginning to see.

a/n: sooo...can you guys tell i'm setting the stage for something big („• ֊ •„)

[featheredclover]

Carmine Veils

Chapter Two

Also on Wattpad

Chapter one < > Chapter three

Manorama sat in her wicker chair, a pitcher of buttermilk by her side to give her solace in the heat.

After today’s lesson she had retired to her chambers overlooking the field, where the girls still remained. Her eyes scrutinised the scene that lay in front of her.

While she couldn’t accuse her students of being distracted, there was something different about them today. As if they were performing to impress.

Manorama hadn’t been so oblivious of the young guard’s good looks and charisma. She knew it affected the girls. But it was her Khushi who bothered her.

While others simpered, laughed and even teased the guard, Khushi had retreated into a quiet shell. She simply did her lessons without any of her usual amusing interruptions. Manorama continued to look on to put a finger on the reason behind it.

—————

“ Does China have a lot of amusing entertainment? “

“ It does. It offers a lot to do as soon as the sun sets” Arnav replied with a wink.

And Lavanya laughed huskily, trailing her eyes all over his form.

She has been guilty of doing that a lot today, thought Khushi grudgingly as she sat under the shade looking at her friend sizing up her bodyguard.

“ Can you speak China language? “ Payal asked, completely ignorant of the hostile look Khushi sent her way.

Arnav laughed. “ It’s called mandarin, and yes I can speak it “

Lavanya chimed in“Can you say something in man-da-rin ? Something beautiful?”

Arnav paused. He bent his head. Khushi couldn’t bring herself to look away. And then just for a moment, a moment she might have imagined it herself, he locked his eyes with her, before turning back to his rapt audience.

“ On one condition “ he smiled in that mysterious manner “ you won’t ask me for what it means”.

Payal whined at him for being unfair. Lavanya merely nodded, glancing at Khushi subtly.

“ Ni de gongzhu hen piaoliang ”

It wasn’t the first time Khushi admitted to herself how undeniably attractive Arnav was. But she couldn’t help the gush of emotion which rushed through her, when he said something in a language she couldn’t understand and yet it felt as if he had whispered it into her ear.

Her thoughts were violently interrupted by the sight of Lavanya holding Arnav’s hand . She was saying something to him, but Khushi could hardly hear over the blood rushing to her ears.

She stood up. Uncomfortable with the feeling. Of course she knew what jealousy was. The last time she had felt it in full force was when Payal and Lavanya had sat on the beautiful wooden horse her father had got made for her. They had been 5 back then. But now, what justified her feeling this way? Lavanya and Arnav could get married for all she cared.Ignoring a pinch she felt at that thought , she quickly turned around and ran towards the cluster of trees, which had always been her place of solace.

As she ran faster, she could hear her name being called. But she didn’t pay it any heed. That man was uprooting her world and she just couldn’t allow it.

————————

“ Rajkumari “

She heard him and yet something in her didn’t let her stop. She let her feet take her away from him, away from the imprint of Lavanya’s hand on his. She chided herself then.

I don’t care. She chanted desperately.

“ Khushi !“

His voice struck like thunder to her whole being. But there was no respite as in the next moment he managed to grab her wrist, spin her around and pressed her against himself.

While she was breathless, her eyes fluttering, struggling to not look away from him, he stared at her without a word.

His eyes appeared black this close, and Khushi felt they looked even more beautiful now. Her eyes trailed down his nose, and settled on his lips.

She wanted him to smile at that moment. She wanted him to do something with his lips at that desperate moment. But she saw his throat bob up and down, and in the next moment, she felt his warmth leave her.

He stepped back till a distance he probably deemed respectable.

“ Rajkumari, please tell me if you wish to go somewhere. Maharaj has entrusted me with your life and I can never break that trust. “

She felt the earlier rage pick up its hymn again. She felt strangely rejected. Despair coursed through her and she gritted out

“Arnav, I am capable of keeping myself alive. You can go back to whom you want. Maharaj won’t know about this. Let me have this afternoon by myself.”

A frown appeared between his brows.

“ I never doubted your capability. But your father knows that the situation is far worse than you imagine it to be. I cannot let you be alone and that is my duty. “ he paused

“ I am where I want to be “ he said as his eyes bore into her.

She sighed in defeat.

* Crunch *

Khushi grabbed her bow and arrow, poised it towards the sound. But Arnav was faster, for he was standing before her.

The man didn’t wait a second and a stream of arrows rushed by them. With Arnav blocking her from sight completely, she could only hear the crack of arrows being broken.

Before she knew it, it was over. She looked ahead and she saw the man, who now lay dead.

She heard a groan and turned swiftly towards, Arnav who was clutching his forearm. His lips were pursed. His sleeve was blood soaked. He turned to her and asked her softly,

“ Tum theek ho? “

And that’s when Khushi realised that it’s futile to deny what this man made her feel.

Tagging: @arshifiesta @phuljari @hand-picked-star

>>Chapter three

PS : “ Ni de gongzhu hen piaoliang ” translates to "Your princess is beautiful"

@jalebi-weds-bluetooth @barshifan @andli @shiyaravi @muttonthings @msbhagirathi @sankititaliya @thenainitaldisaster @thedupattaknowswhatsup @chutkiandchotte @laad-governess @laadgovernors @laadgovernorandsankadevi @leila1 @bitchy-bi-trash @hi-this-is-permabanned @arshispyaar @minpdnim @thedustyshehnai @bigfatreader @arshiradio @simplycurlz @scorpio-smiles @bengudill @enchantingfunthing @nhhhha1111

( Please let me know if you want to be added/ removed from the tag list )

[kuuverse]

success story + picture proof(improved art skills in a day, cancelled exams, + more).

ART SKILLS

Okay, so I'm working on a webtoon project and so I started drawing a thumbnail image for it. I was really unhappy with how it turned out, and I felt that my art looked tacky and unpolished. So basically, I just decided; no, I can draw very well and in my desired way(which is inspired by a twitter artist I admire), and I felt it as fact and left it. Then I picked up my pen and started drawing again.

The change was instant, but the dates below are within the time difference of a day because of course, art takes time, and I had to sleep in between. What I did was very simple, and I did not robotically affirm or listen to any subliminals or anything, I only simply assumed it as fact and it reflected back instantly.

BEFORE

You can see how the lines and colouring is more unpolished.

AFTER

The lines are cleaner and more detailed, and the composition of the piece itself improved.

DATE PROOF(via Discord)

CANCELLED EXAMS

I had a math test coming up when I first heard of the novel Undine, and I discovered a Piano & Flute sonata that accompanied it. I am both a Pianist and a Flautist, and I had grown so fascinated with the novel itself that when I heard the piece(sneakily during a Mandarin class), I was like, I need to play this right now. But I remembered my Math test scheduled for that week's Thursday, and I was like, I don't have the time. But then as I bitched about it to my friends, I instantly remembered about the law and was like, you know what? I have time. I didn't care how I had time, I just assumed I had the time to learn the piece I wanted to. Then instantly, my math teacher posted a google classroom announcement, the test had been pushed back to next week's Monday!

DATE PROOF

Teleported my Mother out of the house?

This one... I can't provide picture proof other than my shock when it happened because huh? Anyways, in my apartment the shower is connected to my parent's bedroom, where my mom's always in on her computer doing who knows what. I love to sing, and I love to sing in the shower because it always clears up my throat and even though my Mother praises me for it, it gets really awkward and embarrassing when I'm practicing or attempting a hard song and my voice falters? Well so I got home, okay. I knew my mom was inside her room because the bedroom door was closed and I heard her loudly talk on the phone to a coworker. I sat down to have a quick snack in the living room which is where the only exit of this apartment is and I saw her come out of her room to say hello to me and went back in. This is only in the span of 10 minutes from when I came home from school and when I went to take a shower. I came across a song I liked and I was like, wouldn't it be nice if I had privacy in the bathroom so I could sing? Okay, then I went to take a shower. My mom... was not in her room and the door was wide open. I ran to my dad and was like, where's mom? He was like, didn't you know she left?

EXPENSIVE COSPLAY

Okay, I've been BEGGING my dad to buy me cosplay for this one enstars character for a year. He always said no, and then this year it was sometime September and my friends were talking about dressing up for Halloween. I was like, I want to dress up as Ritsu. I didn't think anything of, "My dad always said no to my cosplay though," I just went, well, "I want to dress up as Ritsu so I shall."

That was it! I asked him in a text, can I have this? He didn't respond btw he ghosted me... then a few days later he asked for my measurements. I'm wearing the cosplay right now at school!

Photo of when I first got it!

TAYLOR SWIFT PIANO SHEET MUSIC

This one is unintentional. I don't even know how it manifested but you know, I went to the music store to check out some guitars because I wanted to start learning, and then I got sidetracked by the Pianos. Previously a while ago, I wanted to learn some of her songs on the Piano, and most of the sheet music got copyrighted. I guess somewhere there I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I have it. I forgot about it, that's for sure. But then as I was messing around on some of the cheaper Pianos, my dad spotted they were selling her sheet music, and without really asking he just bought it for me.

sc from my instagram archive

MANIFESTED A TEACHER ABSENT FROM SCHOOL

This one happened today!!! I was just feeling a bit tired and I wanted a lesson off where I didn't have to worry about a teacher and when I went to the next period, I realised the teacher wasn't in school and the lesson was self study time!

OTHER SUCCESSES

I'm 17 now, and I had been barely 150cm for a while. I've tried growing taller for years with subliminals, nothing happened, the doctors said I couldn't but... I grew! A few centimeters, my ideal height is 156cm and I'm around 154 right now? I also lost a lot of weight starting from May of this year, and I started growing taller around the start of October! Also the other day, I was in a sort of 'tutoring' session(it wasn't really tuition? but I don't know what else to call it) and I was so tired and I wanted to draw, and instead of waiting for a break I was like fuck it, I'm going to draw anyways and reached for my iPad. Then suddenly as I touched it, the teacher announced a break! Also, in my 4D I'm well respected and lowkey worshipped and I noticed when I went out last week, strangers were so oddly nice to me and people turned their heads to look at me? They'd do nice gestures for me when before everyone would just ignore me the way I used to want.

Anyways, that's it for my post! I sat down a lot and pondered and listened to Edward Art's lectures every night. Manifesting is really easy, and so long as you realise the 3D doesn't matter... it doesn't exist and to just focus on your 4D, then you already have your dream life. There's no point throwing rocks at the 3D hoping it'll change, like with how you can't kill the snake because it doesn't exist, you just have to become indifferent to it and persistent in your 4D.

[cookeybg]

Unexpected Cohabitation a JonDami fic

I'm back! Sorry for the delay. You know how it is, when it rains it pours and all that. Here's the next chapter. I couldn't get it the way I wanted but I hope it isn't too bad. It is a short chapter though so I hope you enjoy!

Title: Unexpected Cohabitation

Main Characters: Jonathan Kent and Damian Wayne (some of the others show up too, the list is too long)

Eventual relationship: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne (my fave)

Stuff to know: No capes, reverse robins, high school AU, no smut, no Brucie Wayne, I know nothing about sports but it will show up, (aaand I think that's it, will add more if it comes up)

[Here's my table of contents]

Part 1 - Chapter 5

“Thank you, Alfred.” Damian said. “You are welcome, Master Damian.” Alfred replied. Jon took a sip of his strawberry juice while he watched Alfred the butler, because the Wayne’s had an actual butler, go down the table refilling the cups for the rest of the children. They were nearly done with the most awkward dinner Jon had ever had and he was ready to go home and bury himself in his blanket for the weekend. The entire time he had sat listening to Conner, who sat to his left, chattering with Tim, who sat across from him, about school and TV shows. The three others on Tim’s right would add to their conversation every once in a while. Jon on the other hand couldn’t even taste his fancy food because Damian’s judgy green eyes would lock on to Jon too often to be comfortable. A servant came in with a food cart filled with what Jon hoped was dessert. Alfred, the butler (Jon wasn’t sure if he could get used to that), fussed over the dessert and gave a nod to the waiter who proceeded announce what they were about to eat. Jon heard nothing. He could feel green orbs burn the side of his face and he tried his best to ignore it. Not being able to take it anymore he stared back, blue locked on to green, green narrowed and blue briefly looked away only to look back and see an infuriating smirk grace Damian’s stupidly handsome face. Jon could feel his face heat up, with a frown he took another sip of his drink and by the grace of whatever god, a waiter came by to collect the last of his dinner and the pointless decorative plate that the real plate had been placed on. Another waiter placed his dessert in front of him telling him to enjoy. Jon stared down at what looked like a baseball sized, round, piece of chocolate. It had two pieces of chocolate spiral ribbon casually leaning on it and gold leaf on top. Next to it lay three slices of what looked like mandarin oranges. He heard a noise and looked up to see that Damian had cracked the chocolate ball with his spoon and the inside had ice cream. When he looked around he noticed that the rest of the table had done the same. “Jon, it taste just like those Cutties oranges!” Conner exclaimed. Jon smiled and broke the chocolate shell with his spoon, it made a satisfying cracking sound and Jon dug in. It really was good and he smiled in contentment. When he looked up, he noticed Damian looking away. Did Damian think he was dumb because he hadn’t figured out what had been in front of him? It wasn’t his fault he had been distracted while the Chef had been explaining their meal. Jon grumbled finishing the delicious meal.

“Kids! We have both good news and bad news to announce!” Clark’s voice was a volume louder than it normally would have been, but Jon could see the flush on his cheeks caused by the wine he kept on drinking. “Tell them the good news first!” Lois was no different since Bruce and Talia kept filling their wine glasses throughout dinner. Clark nodded and looked back at the rest of the table and gave his patented Kent smile. “We won the bid for the house we went to look at during summer break!” “No way!” Conner and Jon yelled at the same time. “The bad news is, it’s not move in ready yet.” Lois said making an exaggerated pout. “But the good news is, instead of renewing the contract for the apartment, the Bruce and Talia have offered their home while we finalize all the paperwork!” There were shocked exclamation throughout the table but none as loud as Jon’s, “What!” “Tt, father, has your adoption habit expanded to include a whole family?” Damian said, throwing his napkin on his plate, leaning back and crossing his arms. He scowled at both his parents but his fiery glare landed on Bruce. “Damian.” Talia admonished. “Now, son, you can think of this as a sleepover with one of your friends.” Bruce patted Damian’s head. “He is not my friend!” Damian hissed swatting Bruce’s hand away. “I think it will be fun!” Dick popped out of nowhere and latched onto Damian’s waist, hanging awkwardly onto him. “Richard, these aren’t good table manners.” Damian sighed as he adjusted Dick to sit properly on his lap. “You were slouching!” Dick smiled happily and Bruce ruffled his dark locks as well. “I think it’ll be fun too.” Jason and Cassandra had snuck up to stand behind Damian’s chair and Jason gave Jon a mischievous grin, while Cassandra nodded agreeably. “I can show you my gaming set up.” Tim told Conner. “It’s settled then.” Clark said. “Wait,” Jon’s voice cracked when he yelled, making him blush, but he continued, “hold on! W-when is this happening?” “Next week. It gives us plenty of time to pack and put things in storage.” Lois said. Jon leaned back dumbfounded. He looked over at Damian in dismay. Damian was fixing Dick’s hair while his stayed ruffled. Jon was not looking forward to this.

FYI: They did not drink and drive, they took a Lyft home.

[britt-kageryuu]

Morning Day 2

First | PREV | Next

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They woke up fairly early, but they were caught up with people taking up the bathrooms across their rooms. The each took turns washing up, then fighting over space in front of the mirror getting their makeup looking good.

Donnie was getting their costume on, they were forced to do the interviews in the morning and early noon, so they decided on a version of a Senkuu Ishigami cosplay. This would be a different level of torture, but it was his agreement to have Mikey on M&G. The they would switch with April for the interviews.

Leo was going to be in the Artist Alley helping with the table until Dontron and Miguel switched. For the day he was dressed up like his Usagi, though he couldn't bring a sword because weapon checks can be a hassle. He wasn't looking forward to being stuck in the booth later.

Mikey volunteered to grab breakfast since he wasn't in a rush to get ready. He grabbed a couple breakfast pizzas, burritos, and a little something for lunch later. Hs also double checked everything Leo would need to take to the table for the day. And warn him not to do anything stupid.

Raph would be wandering around, he heard about a couple panels/workshops that sounded interesting, and was looking forward to shopping around. Though he wasn't going to be dressed up today, he was wearing some of their merch, and a Star Warrior jacket.

After everyone who was going in right now was gathered, they left to tap in for the day, and Donnie was getting Shelldon in a little costume, and River took over for Shelldon.

~▪~▪~▪~▪~▪~▪~

🧡

Mikey finished his breakfast while setting up his model, along with messing with what would appear on screen ar the booth, mainly just made the background a paintable surface for him to mess with while talking to guests.

The first number of people to walk past the holoscreen at the booth were watching him draw his Mandarin Paints logo while asking for pictures or just asking questions.

A bit more into the morning Mikey showed off some of his dance skills with some guests, and was having fun drawing random stuff for people walking past.

Up until someone decided to question his Psychology Degree... It was not pretty, and many people had to just stop and watch the trainwreck of a smackdown Mikey delivered.

At least he didn't unleash the full Wrath of Dr. Delicate Touch on the poor fool, just Dr. Disappointed.

💙

Leo wasn't having a terrible time, but so many people kept asking were Mikey was, and it wasn't annoying so much as a bit irritating to repeatedly say 'He stayed up very late to get some restock in, and we let him sleep in.'

One upside was just chatting with CJ when no one was asking to buy something. CJ had been traveling solo more recently, and it was nice to catch up and hear some of the stories CJ had about were he went.

The most interesting thing from the morning was some high and mighty artist tried to claim Leo stole their work, and was selling it. Leo let them yell and complain, while recording them, claiming they saw specifically Leo steal their stuff, and demanded to have 'their work'be returned with compensation.

Leo loved to look on this persons face when Leo calmly and loud enough for the eavesdroppers to hear, "Hey, listen, I get that you might be jealous of the art on sale at this table, but I got some news for ya. This ain't my table. I'm not the artist for this table, nor am I an artist in general, my baby brother is though." Leo could barely keep the smugness out of his voice, "And I sure as hell don't need to steal your work. So why claim you saw ME supposedly steal Your work Hmm?"

The person had realized they were in trouble, and tried to run, but they didn't get far before Con Security got them, Leo gladly handed over a copy of the video for evidence against the troublemaker.

Some parts of social media were going wild with this for days, and that Artists reputation was probably never going to recover. Especially not after possible legal stuff was brought up when mentioned.

💜

Donnie wasn't having the worst time with doing interviews, though they were getting stopped more for getting his picture than anyone wanting to give an interview.

Even if all Donnie planned to ask was, 'what's your day job?', since that was a fairly popular thing to ask when at events, if only for the slight shock value of hearing someone in Realistic Armour say they were a software engineer or something.

Though they also wanted to add in, 'Well I'm a tech engineer, but got dragged into this ridiculousness for a sponsorship deal.' at least once, but again not many want to stop to answer questions on how they're liking the Con.

Though they did end up having a delightful discussion on how data management wasn't taken very seriously, with a person in a fluffy dragon fur suit.

The switch off time couldn't have gotten there any sooner.

❤

Raph was having a pretty great morning.

There had been a panel for one of his favorite shows, and they had the creators there, and the voice actress for Raphs favorite characters.

Then he got on a call with Star while walking around the Dealers Hall, picked up a gift or two for her, she liked this one series that was older and harder to find now.

But he wondered how he didn't see the Build Your Own Plush booth before, the line was long, but worth it.

Though some people recognized him from yesterday, and wanted to ask how strong Raph was. So there's now some pictures of him flexing while multiple people hang on his arms, and a few of him carrying one or more people.

And he thankfully still had time to get to the workshop he wanted to check out. They were going to show how to crochet some simple videogame enemies, and looked like fun.

-------------------

Masterpost

I'm gonna stagger posting a bit, because I want to be sure I like how I wrote things out, especially since I'm still having a bit of trouble figuring watch to write the guys doing on their own.

Which is part of why I split these up in to like Morning and Afternoon posts.

Also if it isn't obvious I can't really write out drama without rushing it a bit, if only because I forget about pacing things out when I want to get to the resolution.

[badtastebettermusic]

How To Single-Handedly Launch People Into The C-Pop Stratosphere

Psycho by Jun

Genre: C-Pop (Mandopop?) (might be considered K-Pop)

Written by: BuildingOwner, Glenn, Jun, and PonyZhang (DreamNotes)

---

psycho, a 2023 single, was jun's (of kpop boygroup seventeen) solo debut, and boy did he deliver. first off, i love that he did the singing in mandarin instead of korean. it's not immediately obvious, (and this may have actually been due to the nature of his song vs svt songs as opposed to simply being in mandarin vs korean) but his voice was way deeper and more gravelly than it usually is, and i fall apart at the mere mention of deep voices.

i think his voice is generally deeper in mandarin than in korean, but i don't watch enough seventeen content to know that for a fact.

also, i felt like the mandarin really leant itself to the vibe of the song, as the way that words flow in mandarin has a different vibe to it than the way that korean words flow together. it would've been a different song in korean, and i'm glad it was in mandarin.

the grammar structure of mandarin and korean are different, which led to also some great emphasis on some of the lyrics that would've been lost had they done it in korean. i don't have great specific examples because i don't know korean and my mandarin is basic at best but trust i've heard enough of both languages to make these distinctions.

like questions words (who, how, etc) happen at the end of a sentence in korean, but in mandarin they can happen closer towards the beginning so when jun in the outro puts emphasis on the "shei" (who) in "who's the weirdo in someone else's eyes?" it happens at the beginning, which flows. if that emphasis had been at the end of the lyric it would not have flowed that nicely, imo.

that was a long sidebar, but genuinely because of the way that this song sounded in comparison to how songs in korean sound, i got way more interested in cpop and songs sung in mandarin, which led to a low-level wayv obsession since they were the most easily accessible cpop i could find and then led to a desperate wish for more chinese singers to put songs on spotify with at least translated titles so i can have an easier time finding more of them. there's only so much my youtube recommended can do.

cpop also has a slightly different vibe to kpop and other pop genres. there's generally more intensity of grandeur in the lyrics and vocal tone, and i'd say that traditional chinese instruments feature more heavily in cpop than traditional korean instruments feature in kpop, although i've seen a decent amount of traditional instruments in both genres.

back to psycho, the lyrics talk a lot about being considered a weirdo by society and about being forced to embrace that kind of identity ("don't think it's surprising, both you and I exist as freaks/don't fool yourself into thinking you're an exception" as well as "don't fool yourself anymore, psycho")

jun uses such intense inflection in his singing that i would almost call it voice acting. he's acting a character of someone disillusioned by society and the vocal tone reflects that--it's a bit dead inside, with a humorous lilt to it like a movie villain that knows he's about to win. very joker-about-to-kill-robin vibes. there are moments where his tone is low and hypnotizing, and moments where he's full of anger and his voice becomes raspier. it's addicting to listen to.

the dance is also excellent. even if you only looked at his face the whole time it would've been it's own performance. the dance frequently calls for jun draw attention to different facial features like having him hook his fingers to pull the sides of his mouth to look joker-ish or to have his hand cover his face so you focus on his eyes, which have no light to them throughout the performance. he also has this excellent sadistic smile used in only the correct moments throughout his performance.

the dance also has a lot of moments where he's contorting his body to either stretch out fully or to shrink in, and the dichotomy of these movements, especially when they're done right after each other, serve to throw you off and unsettle you. this is especially visible when they are used in sequence with other distorting movements, like with the hand twisting move in the chorus or the jerky head rotation right before the second verse. there's never a comfortable moment visually and that discomfort serves the song extremely well

but the highlight of this song to me is the backtrack. featuring the lowest octaves of a piano and a bass drum (i think?) as well as some kind of bell/ringing instrument that had some really interesting horror-style tones, used alongside some creepy sound effects that included breathing and whispering as well as some rattling noises. altogether it created the same kind of dread and anticipation you feel watching scary movies.

fans of seventeen's heavier or more eerie songs (spell, fear, hoshi's spider) are likely already fans of this one. if you like soundtracks to horror movies this might speak to you as well. it's got a similar vibe to witch by xikers and at parts it reminds me of criminal or sexuality by taemin. it's a pretty unique song but it's really amazing.

(also this song coming out at the same time his drama came out with my girl zhang miao yi from when i fly towards you? diabolical advertising with that one i was extremely jun-obsessed for like two months)