#when he was a kid he LOVED watching cycling. and from EVERYTHING you can possibly say about cycling he starts with NBA..

[lunaticamic]

find yourself a sports nerd. really

[chahnniesroom]

to have and to hold

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: you don't think there's anything chan can do to make you love him more. chan continues to prove you wrong.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lots of fluff!!

a/n: sorry it has been so long since i posted! i have been wanting to write this since that ep of return of superman where chan and felix took care of rowoon, it was so so sweet. also i'm so sorry but i did not edit this at all

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

“Do you think you’d ever want to have kids?” 

Your question breaks through the quiet dialogue of the show that you and Chan are watching. Behind you, you feel Chan freeze before he forces himself to relax and continue fiddling with your fingers.

Chan hesitates for a moment longer before answering.

“I don’t know,” he says, slowly and carefully. “I think that I’d want to eventually, but right now? Being an idol- It would be difficult. I mean, for anyone it’s hard, but especially with this career…”

“Do you like children?” you ask, curious even though you can anticipate his answer.

“Yes.” This time he replies immediately, although his voice is still cautious. He releases your hands from his hold and gently nudges your shoulders so that you twist to look at him. “Y/n- Do- Are you-”

“What?” you stare at him, not sure why he suddenly seems so worried.

“Are you pregnant?” he asks gently. “It’s fine if you are! We can totally work things out and I will 100% support you the whole time-”

“Oh!” You smack yourself in the forehead. “No! Definitely not! I was just thinking.” 

“Ah.” Chan slumps against the back of the couch, this time he’s actually relaxed. “Just thinking or- what brought this on?”

“I’m sorry,” you say hurriedly. “That must have been out of nowhere for you. No, it’s because my older sister’s wedding anniversary is coming up, the first one since she’s had a kid, so I wanted to let her go out without having to worry. I was wondering if you wanted to help me babysit?”

“I see,” Chan says, sounding relieved. “Your sister. Yes, I haven’t met Doyun yet, right? I’d love to help you take care of him.”

—

Your sister is delighted that you’ve offered to take Doyun for an evening and you quickly coordinate with Chan what day would work best. It’s not possible to babysit on your sister’s actual anniversary due to Chan’s schedules, but your availabilities line up on a Friday night the weekend after.

Chan is nervous leading up to it, which you find absolutely adorable. When you look over his shoulder one night, curious what he’s focusing so intently on, you find him scrolling through articles on interacting with babies as well as tips on baby-proofing an apartment.

Before your sister arrives, you work with Chan for a few hours transforming the open area of your apartment, placing pillows and draping blankets over sharp corners and making sure to keep any small objects out of reach. 

When the doorbell rings, Chan panics, popping his head out of the kitchen from where he’s been trying to figure out a way to prevent Doyun from being able to open the cabinets.

“We're not ready!” he says, eyes wide.

“What do you want to do, keep them waiting outside until you finish?” you joke, then pause when it looks like Chan is actually considering it. “Don't worry, I'll go let my sister in and you keep working on that. We'll be watching Doyunnie the whole time, so even if you can't work that out, it's fine.”

Your sister doesn't stay for very long. She hands Doyun off to you and assures both you and Chan that your place looks safe for a baby. After going through everything that is packed in the massive diaper bag that she’s leaving with you, she heads back home to get ready for her dinner.

Doyun has a short attention span and cycles between playing with a stuffed animal, a ball, some plastic fruits and vegetables, and toy trains within the first hour. He is so adorable that you and Chan don't mind how much energy is required to keep him occupied. Luckily he's a fairly easygoing baby and hasn't fussed at all, although it did take a while for him to warm up to the two of you.

He's comfortable now, especially since Chan has started to spin the two of them around, hands firmly gripping Doyun’s torso. Doyun absolutely loves it, shrieking in excitement with his eyes crinkling. Even after a few minutes of the same thing, he never grows bored, just as thrilled everytime that Chan lifts him above his head. Although Doyun isn’t very heavy yet, after 15 minutes there’s sweat visible on Chan’s forehead and he’s starting to get out of breath.

“How about we take a bit of a break? Do you want to read?” Chan sits Doyun down against some pillows and rummages through the bag that your sister packed, finding some of the books that she included.

Chan hands the books over and although Doyun accepts both of them, he throws them aside and instead clumsily reaches up towards Chan, clearly asking to be picked up again. Chan pretends to groan and complain as he lifts Doyun back up.

“Aww,” you coo. “He really likes you.”

“And I really like him,” Chan says, spinning Doyun around. “I just wish I hadn’t gone to the gym earlier today, I didn’t realise what a workout this would be!”

Eventually Doyun grows tired, no longer begging Chan to continue. This time when Chan settles him on the ground, he just looks around curiously before crawling up to Chan and grabbing at his curls.

“He’s so small,” Chan marvels. “Look at his little fingers!”

He reaches out towards Doyun, who immediately wraps his hand around Chan’s index finger and pulls it towards his mouth.

It's comical to see the difference in size between their hands and Chan visibly melts, allowing Doyun to gum at his fingers, quickly covering them in a sheen of saliva.

“Are you hungry Doyunnie?” Chan asks. “It’s almost time for dinner, let’s see what your auntie prepared for us.”

By the time Doyun is set up in a high chair with a bib on, you’ve finished cooking. Dinner for Doyun is simple, consisting of steamed vegetables, tofu, rolled omelette, rice, and a bit of fruit. You’ve also used the same ingredients plus a few additions to make kimchi stew for you and Chan.

Chan is distracted the whole meal, prioritising feeding Doyun and wiping his face clean in between bites over eating his own food. It's a futile effort since Doyun seems more interested in smearing the food around rather than getting it into his mouth.

When you're finished with your food, you switch spots with Chan and coax Doyun into eating the last few bites he has left while Chan scarfs down his own meal. 

After dinner, you carry Doyun into the bathroom and start filling the bathtub with a shallow layer of warm water. He watches with wide eyes as you add bubble bath that changes the colour of the water to a deep blue and creates a thick cover of bubbles. After washing the dishes and wiping down the kitchen, Chan joins the both of you just as you’re rinsing suds out of Doyun’s hair.

Cleaned and dressed in a fuzzy onesie with tiny bear ears poking out from the hood, Doyun struggles to stay awake for the rest of the evening. It’s obvious that he’s tired, he’s starting to get cranky and his blinks get longer and longer, but he stubbornly continues to play. After his third time nodding off while slotting plastic shapes into a cube, Chan picks him up and walks him around the room, rocking him slightly while humming a melody that you can’t recognize.

When your sister comes to pick up Doyun, he's sprawled out on Chan’s chest, deeply asleep. A line of drool drops from his open mouth to form a wet spot on Chan’s shirt, but Chan doesn’t seem to mind, staring at Doyun with stars in his eyes.

That night, right when you're about to fall asleep, Chan speaks up. His arms are wrapped around you and you can feel his breath against the back of your neck. 

“I think,” he says quietly. “I think I want kids. Not now, I still have the same concerns as before, but in the future? I want it.”

“You did so well with Doyunnie, it looked so natural,” you agree. “I think you would be a great dad.”

“Only if you’re there by my side,” he corrects.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

Hi zeta! So I received a notification today that I was ovulating and had a thought. Husband/Ceo!Cheol checking your phone as you received and notification that you were ovulating. Like my man would go crazy and be at it like the fucking rabbits.

(sorry why is this so long)

tw: dom!seungcheol, sub!reader (fem), marriage!au, unpotected sex (pls stay safe), breeding kink, mentions of kids and pregnancy, praise, use of petnames, daddy and mommy kink (they want to be actual parents), mating press, spanking, oral (f rec), cockwarming - minors dni.

@gyuwoncheol tagging her bcs she helped me to her own demise

"Babe?"

"Yes darling?"

"You have a new notification!" Seungcheol yells from the other end of the living room.

"I'll check it later, thanks!" You yell back, trying to make yourself heard through the noise of the kitchen mixer.

Seungcheol is a man who values your privacy and would never attempt the petty snooping around on your phone.

But how could he miss the bright notification of your cycle tracking app saying that you're ovulating?

He turns his head to your direction and looks at the shape of your body standing in front of the counter and his mind races at the thought of you bearing his kids and having them run around your legs in the future.

And it makes him want to fuck you until he has made sure you're pregnant.

He gets up from the couch and walks up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder.

"You sure love back hugs, don't you?" You let out a small laugh.

"How can I not when I have such a pretty wife?" He hums.

"Oh, I see how it is." You turn off the mixer and turn around to face him. "Come on, out with it, big guy."

"What? Can't I just compliment my wife because I feel like it?" He pouts his lips.

"Seungcheol, you never compliment me without any reason."

"I was just thinking...."

"I knew it."

"I haven't even said anything yet!" He complains.

"Oh my God, just say it!"

"I was thinking how pretty you'd look with a belly full of our kids."

Your eyes widen with shock at your husband's blunt words. It's true that you've discussed the possibility of widening your family with Seungcheol and you know he would be the most silly and doting dad ever. But the way he looks at you and his hands tighten on your body makes you feel a tad bit jittery (in a very good way).

"Did you just think of that, or...?"

"Your tracking app said you're ovulating and I can't get it out of my damn head." Seungcheol groans.

"You checked my phone?!"

"I didn't unlock it! It was right beside me and I just saw the pop-up on the screen!"

"And that made you worked up already?" You deadpan.

"God, you have no idea." He drops his head on your shoulder and rolls his hips against you.

"You're incorrigible." You hug him with a light chuckle.

You feel his lips stretching in a grin and he throws you over his shoulder with one swift motion, carrying you to the bedroom. You complain all the way, but he just slaps your ass and puts you down on the mattress, your legs hanging from the edge of the bed.

"I am indeed incorrigible, darling." Seungcheol strips himself down to bare skin and purposefully climbs over you to grab a pillow and place it under your lower back.

"I'll do everything in my power," he hooks his fingers in the hem of your sweats and drags them away from your legs, "to get your pretty pussy," he removes your cotton panties to reveal your cunt, "full of my cum until you physically can't take more inside you."

"C-Cheol-" You watch your husband kneel on the foot of the bed, ready to use his tongue on you.

"Talk to me, darling. Tell me what you want."

"Fuck, I want your kids so bad." You moan and spread your legs, putting your hands under your knees to pull them on your sides.

"That's what I thought too." He smirks and leans down to press a kiss on your clit, followed by full-bodied swipes of his wet muscle from your puffy bud of nerves to your hole, waiting for your pussy to drip just enough to get messy.

"You're so perfect, you know that?" He brings your legs on your chest and puts your ankles on his shoulders, the head of his cock dragging over your pussy. "Perfect wife, with a perfect pussy." He whispers and slides his shaft inside you, stealing your moans with his mouth.

You let yourself get lost in the feeling of his pillowy lips, all while his cock is battering up your cunt. Your leg muscles tense up from being stretched out to their limits, but you don't want to switch up positions.

"Sweet, sweet fucking cunt, all ready to keep my cum safe." Seungcheol groans wildly on your lips, "Want to make you a mommy so bad."

"Fuck, I want you to be a daddy, Cheol, ah!" You throw your head back on the bed, watching your husband plow his hips in you relentlessly, his bottom lip caught between his pearly whites.

"W-Want a pretty little girl, w-with your eyes and lips, wanna treat her like a princess."

"And a rowdy little b-boy, so you c-can play g-games with him." You stammer over your words, but you get the message across.

"Fuck, I love you so much, darling." Seungcheol moans airily and plants his hands beside your head, rutting in you like a madman, sweat dripping down his body and a few drops landing on your chest.

"Cheol, I'm c-close." You sob.

"Me too, baby. Just a little more, please." He begs you to hold out.

You do as he says and you cum undone underneath him, his thick cock pulsing until he has emptied himself inside your cunt, not daring to pull away from you.

A few seconds of silence pass and none of you has moved yet. Your pussy clenches around his cock ever so slightly and you whimper, your legs falling limp on the bed.

"Even your pussy wants more, babe." Seungcheol chuckles and moves his cock inside you, bringing himself back to full hardness.

"You mean you've got more to give?" You pant.

"For you? Always."

[crazylittlejester]

I know that there is this whole thing about Wild being Twilight’s descendant, and while I have nothing against it, what if Wild is Warriors’s descendant? I’m color coding since the topic kind of jumps a bit so it’s (hopefully) easier to understand.

Hear me out. I saw this one post about Warriors’s era being before Wild’s and it all makes sense as to why there are stuff from each timeline in Wild’s era because of the War Across the Ages. It also mentioned how Zelda’s blessing to Wild with all of the Champions watching also added evidence to the idea. It said that their theory was that Warriors has another adventure after LU and he’s the hero that first fights the Calamity and that’s when all of the Guardians and Divine Beasts were made.

Now for my theory of Wild being Warriors’s descendant. It all starts out with Warriors’s kid that looks up to the captain and decides to be a knight and protect Hyrule like how he did, then a cycle starts and it leads all the way to Wild following his father’s footsteps to being a knight. It could also be as to how Wild was named Link as one of their heroic ancestors. But ultimately after Wild’s death, he forgets everything. He doesn’t fully remember why he decided to be a knight other than Flora mentioning following his father’s footsteps.

Then, imagine when Wild and Warriors meet. They’re both knights, so that’s something that they find that they have in common, and so that’s something they first use as an ice breaker. Then it could lead to Link remembering some stuff about his background, so he mentions to Warriors how there’s a long line of knights in his family because of the hero before him, but they don’t exactly know who is before Wild just yet.

But also, what if they don’t ever realize that they’re related until after the LU adventure? Just one day Wild and Flora find some information that was hidden that Wild’s line of knights came because of Warriors. But Warriors has to figure that out by seeing it happen. His second adventure with Ganon happens, the Divine Beasts and Guardians are made. He has to live with the fact that what was made to help him killed one of his brothers. Then, the captain is also there to see the cycle start; his kid looking up to him so much that they become a knight, then their kid does the same, then so on. Warriors puts two and two together and is hit with the realization and he can do nothing to share a similar bond with Wild as Time did with Twilight. That it was too late to give Wild the gift of getting to feel what it was like to have his past family back.

I’m so sorry if this is incoherent.

kissing you on the forehead anon i love you thank you for color coding mwah /p

this is so interesting and so so devastating, and while I don’t headcanon Wild is descended from any of em, I’m lowkey obsessed with this this is depressing in the best way possible /pos. this is SO fucking tragic 😭

ALSO WARS REALIZING TOO LATE?? ABSOLUTELY CRIMINAL. I LOVE IT.

[thestartax]

Armin Arlert x Reader

Synopsis: you’ve been in Marley for a couple months now , you’re finally seeing Armin again

Tropes: long hug, eye contact, pre-existing relationships, yes the lowercase is intentional, first person pronouns because it’s you

i’ve been in marley for a couple of months now. i’ve only risked contact with eren once. he made me promise to not ruin this mission, he said he had everything in place to make it work. still, i didn’t love the idea that he was bringing everyone here to, very suddenly, bring ruination upon this town.

i’ve seen children running around. families, friends, relationships. the eldians have formed a community, everyone on the eldian side of the gate knows one another. they’re a family. to think that eren intends to destroy this town of eldians—not even the marleyans—even if they will be there these are still eldian homes he will destroy. it makes me nauseous to think about it.

reiner is here. he has a cousin who he treats more like a sister. she has a band of friends. they all want nothing more than to prove they’re good eldians and kill everyone back on paradis which, i’ll admit, makes me more than a little violent when i think about it for too long. but i always remind myself that this is all they’ve been taught, it’s all they know. i remember my boyfriend is back on paradis and the feelings of violence come back but then i see this girl and her own personal blonde and i have to remind myself once again. it’s an endless cycle.

i haven’t been able to come into contact with eren again—it’s too much of a risk, as he continuously reminds me. but i’ve been watching, very closely, from the sides. he’s been talking to that little blonde reiner’s cousin/sister is going to be stuck to for the rest of her life—assuming they both survive this. it makes me nervous seeing eren with him but i don’t think he’d go out of his way to hurt the boy so i’ve yet to intervene.

on the day i know eren intends to ruin these people’s lives—worse than they have already been ruined—i’m anxious beyond repair, i’ll just have to sit with it. even if this goes perfectly we’re still sure to lose some of our own and kill entire families on this mission. i’m nauseous again.

eren convinces the boy—falco to bring reiner to him. i sit just out of range of the explosion eren will surely set off when he transforms. i can’t hear them but i know what’s being said. eren’s revealing himself, reiner is scared out of his mind, and falco is shocked. i just hope that when he does transform that falco will be okay. he’s a good kid.

some long haired blonde man who’s very clearly important to all of these people is giving some speech about killing the island devils on paradis when eren finally transforms, decimates half of the people gathered together, and then eats said man. this, of course, causes the actual war hammer titan to make herself known. there is something of a fight between them but really eren just gets his ass handed to him by being skewered a few times. but that doesn’t stop reinforcements from coming.

i can hear the odm gear zipping by. i know my friends are here. it makes me smile but then it makes me nervous. i would prefer they all be out of harm's way—eren hasn’t allowed that. so we’re all fighting for our lives in unknown territory. the goal is to spare as many of our own lives as possible, capture zeke, and get eren out of here alive.

honestly, we look like we’re going to lose. they have the war hammer titan, the jaw titan, the beast titan, and the cart titan. if zeke were actually against us we’d surely be dead. but still, it looks mildly bleak. but i know what our power play is. i know what eren will have forced them to do. forced him to do. even though knows he hates it. even though he knows it goes against everything he believes in.

i see it in the distance. i hear it everywhere. i can almost feel it in the air. the explosion. i know what it is. i know who it is.

without thinking, i take off running towards the blast. i’m zipping around on my odm gear, reaching maximum speeds. i’m weaving through and around all the buildings and straight to the port.

by the time i get there, everything is decimated. things still shine with the light of a burned-out fire. these people were scorched and all of the land in a five-mile radius is crushed. there will be no survivors. no one will live through this if they’re not dead already. no one but the boy who caused it.

he’s just ripped himself from the nape of his titan's neck when my feet hit the ground. i stand before his titan, the size of a small bug from where he sits atop it. i look up at him, overcome with emotion and frozen in place.

when he looks down and spots me i can feel his eyes. i can feel his gaze upon me. it warms me everywhere his eyes travel. he’s slowly registering it’s me, he doesn’t believe it yet. he doesn’t want to get his hopes up if it’s not me and instead someone who’s about to shoot at him.

i smile despite myself, feeling my eyes pool with tears. i don’t try to blink them back like i usually would. he knows me then.

he inhales sharply and in the next moment he’s zipping down from his titans body and towards me. “y/n!”

i laugh helplessly and dart towards him. we’re running at each other with all we have, really. i’ve never run faster. this is the new record. i thought i was fast getting here. this beats that by a long shot. i can see him. he’s 100 feet away from me. 80 feet. 50. he’s so close, how could i not run as fast as i possibly can? 20 feet. then 10.

as soon as i can see every cut and bruise on his face, his titan marks, the blue of his eyes—it’s like as soon as i see him it’s like i leave battle mode. it doesn’t matter that we’ve both been fighting for our lives out here. we’ve nearly won now. we’re going to leave with only a few casualties of our own, eren, & the war hammer titan. it will be successful as long as we continue as we have been. my resolve dies and we’re just so close now. i’m jumping over charred corpses & rubble from the destroyed town. i’m running as fast i can to my favorite blonde. “armin!” i choke out, suddenly so close to sobbing i can feel the tears falling.

i’m sure it’s jarring to see me like this. usually so stoic and unmoved in the fast of terror or tragedy, reduced to a puddle of tears at the sight of a boy i’ve loved all my life.

his breath hitches again and when we embrace it’s with such equal force we stand completely still, absorbing each other's energy. we’re panting and holding each other like the contact is the only thing that allows us to breathe. one of my arms is wrapped around his neck, hooking it in the bend of my elbow while my other hand is pushed into the hair at the back of his head. he’s holding me so tightly around the waist that he’s nearly lifting me off the ground—i’m on my tiptoes.

i squeeze my eyes shut and take shaky breaths to stop myself from crying. i’m surely shaking in his arms, not to say that he’s not shaking too—because he is. i just can’t stop.

“armin, armin, armin,” i whisper it again and again like a chant and a promise.

i can feel his heart beat against my own chest. our hearts are working to match the other's pace. our breathing synchronizes, our hearts beat as one, it’s like we’re one being.

he pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes before wiping away my tears. his own eyes are filled with so much emotion it almost brings my tears back. he closes his eyes and leans our foreheads together.

i reach up and cup his face in my hands. he opens his eyes and does the same to me. when our eyes meet and hold contact i can’t help but let out a weak, wet laugh. my thumbs gently trace over his titan marks with a feather-like touch. the only sound is of our breath & the ocean behind us at the port. “hi,” i say without thinking.

he laughs quietly, “hi.”

for a long moment, we stay like that. wrapped up in each other and the moment. i’ve gone soft around the edges, i’m no longer alert and sharp. i don’t know exactly where the sound comes from when i hear it—and that makes me nervous.

it’s a voice that calls for us. it makes me pull armin to me, holding him tightly, shielding him. i look around to pinpoint where this voice is coming from. it makes me uneasy to be on a battlefield but feel so at home just because i’m in his presence. it makes me nervous to not be so sharp, so prepared, so ready.

finally, i spot jean. he’s off in the distance. we can’t quite hear him but it’s easy to make out the waving arm that tells us to get to him quickly. he’s not very calm about it.

i relax a little, happy it’s a friend who requires an answer to their call versus someone with a gun. my hold on armin doesn’t loosen much. he sighs against my neck, he’s relieved too.

“i think it’s about time to catch our ride home,” armin says softly.

i nod against his shoulder where i rest my forehead. i smile a little. “i’ve been missing home… missing you.”

he slides his hand up from its place on my back to the back of my neck. “you won’t have to miss me again. we won’t be apart again.”

“that’s wishful thinking,” i joke sadly.

he doesn’t say anything because he knows i’m right. he just pulls away and takes my hand. when he starts to lead us over to jean i quickly use our joined hands to pull him back to me. i put my hand on the back of his neck—mostly to steady myself and then lean on my tiptoes to kiss him. it’s long and emotional but really that’s all it is—emotional. there’s no deeper meaning behind it, no lust. it’s just something that says, “i’m so happy to have you back. never leave me again. i love you more than anything. let me keep loving you.”

when i pull away i simply take the lead in walking and pull him along behind me—he’s still a little dazed for the time being but he snaps out of it quickly enough. we walk together to jean. i’m sure we’re supposed to be in a hurry, i know this airship will leave without us, but we can’t seem to make ourselves run.

when we get to our friend he shoots armin a look i don’t quite understand but he says nothing of our joined hands, which i appreciate. he doesn’t hesitate to remind us that if we don’t make it to the rooftop rendezvous spot we will not be going home. on that very blunt note, the three of us book it to the roof.

armin’s hand is soft and warm in mine. he’s like home for me. he’s safety and happiness personified. he’s always been there. he’s been the love of my life since the moment i laid eyes on him and i don’t ever intend to take my eyes off of him now. not again. he and i are in it for the long haul… assuming we all survive this.

[waywardluvr]

Hi! Can I request a jamie drysdale fic based on the song wish you were sober by Conan Grey?

wish you were sober // jamie drysdale

pairing: jamie drysdale x reader

word count: 2.8k

warnings: alcohol/drinking, idk ooc jamie ig

a/n: didn’t know who you wanted to be the drunk one so i assumed you wanted jamie

a/n 2: i didn’t go back and really edit this so excuse any mistakes pls

This party's shit, wish we could dip

Go anywhere but here

Please don't drink more beer

I'ma crawl outta the window now

'Cause I don't like anyone around

Kinda hope you're followin' me out

But this is definitely not my crowd

You used to love this. The parties, the drinking until you made decisions that you would regret in the morning but laugh about later, the meeting a new stranger every night and flirting with no intention of anything real or lasting. But now you hated this. The music was too loud and the people were louder. The heat from bodies cramped together dancing and making out made it hard to breathe.

“It’ll just be us and a couple of the guys.” That’s what Jamie had said and you were fine with that, you were looking forward to it.

Honestly you should’ve known better. You should’ve figured it out when he insisted on taking your car, saying it was more comfortable. Looking back you were mad at yourself for being so naive.

When he pulled up to the house you knew you couldn’t drink even if you wanted to. Someone had to drive home because he wouldn’t be able to, he was never able to be the one who drove home after nights like this. You looked down at the cup in your hand, just water. 

You wanted to leave more than anything. You didn’t care where you went you just didn’t want to be at this stupid party. Maybe tonight would be the night that he would want to leave just as much as you did. Maybe he was having a horrible time and wanted to go home and just put on some cheesy movie until you both fell asleep. You needed to find him.

You scanned the crowd from the corner you had decided to stay in, looking for him. You knew exactly where he’d be but a small part of you wanted to believe tonight was different so you still searched everywhere but there. Finally you gave in and looked at where the liquor was. You felt any hope you had of him wanting to leave slip away. There he was, grabbing another beer.

“Jamie, please don’t,” you whispered. “Just put it back down.” You were begging that somehow he would magically hear you. 

You knew that you’d never make it over in time to stop him so you were praying that maybe he had just enough sense to stop himself. But he didn’t. Your heart deflated as you watched his lips make contact with the bottle. You had to look away before your heart broke anymore. 

You scanned the crowd again. Each new face you looked at was a complete stranger. You needed to leave. You knew none of these people and few that you did know were scattered everywhere, hidden in the sea of people who were all drinking, smoking, and dancing. If you were doing the same you’d probably want to stay. But you weren’t.

Nineteen, but you act twenty-five now

Knees weak, but you talk pretty fly, wow

Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed

Take me where the music ain't too loud

Trade drinks, but you don't even know her

You tried to think back to when this whole cycle started. It was never like this before, so what was the turning point? You didn’t want to admit that getting drafted was the turning point but if you were being honest with yourself, you knew that’s exactly when everything changed, when he changed. You loved that he was getting to live his dreams but hated that the cost of that was losing himself. He was a kid thrown into a world of screaming fans and constant requests for pictures and autographs and he felt like he had to act a certain way in order to make it. 

You were at your limit for the night and you had to leave and get as far away from this party as possible. You let out a deep breath, preparing yourself to push through the crowd. It was now or never. 

You entered the crowd. You tried to be soft and polite at the beginning. Saying excuse me and waiting for people to move out of your way on their own. A few people stepped aside and let you pass, but most didn’t, they were too caught up in their own little worlds. The nice way wasn’t going to work. 

“Get out of my way,” you yelled repeatedly as you forcefully pushed people out of the way, not caring that they were gross and sweaty. You could hear, “Fuck you” or “What the fuck?”, being yelled in a never ending cycle with the occasional, “Bitch,” to spice things up. You couldn’t have cared less about their words or feelings, all you cared about was getting the hell out of there. 

When you made it out of the crowd you could finally breathe again. You raised one hand to your chest as the other ran through your hair and sighed. You looked up and there he was. His back was facing towards you and it was almost like he was permanently attached to the bar where the alcohol was set up. 

You walked up to him and softly tapped his arm to get his attention. He turned with the biggest smile on his face. He shouted your name in glee.

“There you are!” He exclaimed and pulled you in for a hug. He reeked of alcohol, it was too much for you to handle, you had to pull away. “I missed you.” He pouted when you looked up at him.

“Yeah I missed you too,” you muttered. You watched as he turned to grab something and turned back with a cup in his hand.

“You wanna drink?” He held his hand out and his words were slurring together. You looked at the cup then back to Jamie’s face.

“I can’t drink anything,” you sighed.

“Why not?” 

“Because someone has to drive home,” you were trying your hardest not to snap. 

“Right, right,” his eyes glanced down at the cup before he quickly downed it. You wanted to scream. He tried to go back to his beer but you grabbed it from him and placed it out of his reached. “Hey, I wasn’t done with that!”

“Can we please go home?” You asked as you stopped him from trying to get another drink. 

You wanted to give him an opportunity to show that he was still somewhat himself again. He said nothing but his eyes looked at something behind you. You watched as Jamie stopped a random girl that was walking by.

“Can I have that?” He pointed at her cup. The girl giggled and nodded before handing it over. “Thanks,” Jamie smirked then winked, his drunk confidence taking over.

Your jaw dropped in disbelief as Jamie went to take a sip of the random drink. This was a new all time low. You raised your hand and smacked the cup out of his grip before he could. You watched as the liquid landed on some poor boy just trying to get a beer. You whispered a small apology. You turned to look at Jamie and saw that he was laughing at what just happened. 

He wasn’t himself, he was completely and utterly wasted. You were once again going to have to drag him out of a party. You grabbed Jamie’s elbow and pushed past the girl and pushed through the crowd like you did before, much more forcefully this time. 

“I don’t want to leave,” you could hear him whine as you made it outside. You finally stopped at the sidewalk. 

“I know you don’t but you have to,” you sighed and turned to him. When you looked at him you could see that he was still adamant about staying. “Jamie please,” you whispered, practically on your knees begging. You watched as his eyes scanned your face for awhile.

“Okay,” he finally agreed.

Save me 'til the party is over

Kiss me in the seat of your Rover

Real sweet, but I wish you were sober

The alcohol hadn’t completely hit yet so he could still somewhat walk on his own, only needing a little bit of help. When you made it to your car you let out a breath of relief. You went to open the passenger door and watched as he stumbled his way towards you. 

“Come on let’s get you buckled up,” you helped him climb his way into the car. You felt like a mother taking care of her child right now and you hated it. 

“You’re my best friend, you know that right?” He asked as you got him sat. 

It was starting. Most nights Jamie would run off at the beginning of the night, completely abandoning you. It was only afterwards that he finally acknowledged you, and tonight was one of those night.

“Yes, I know. You’re my best friend too,” you smiled, trying to just go along with his drunk rambling. 

He hummed, feeling satisfied and happy that he was also your best friend. You grabbed the seatbelt and leaned over to buckle it. You felt his lips kiss your cheek. It was sloppy and wet. The first time this happened you felt butterflies and your body felt like it was on fire. Now it was just another one of his drunken habits. 

“That was really sweet,” you said as you checked the seatbelt one last time.

When you pulled away to shut the door you saw that he had a big goofy smile on his face.

All of this would mean something if he was sober, and you wished more than anything that he was.

Trip down the road, walking you home

You kiss me at your door

Jamie spent most of the drive talking, you couldn’t understand him half of the time but it kept him occupied so you just let him continue. When you pulled into the driveway you took a moment to prepare yourself. 

This part was always hard. The alcohol had caught up with him. He was a mess who could barely walk on his own. Having to help a drunk, 180lbs, hockey player walk to his room never got easier, even if you’ve done it almost 100 times. For now you wanted to just focus on getting him to the front door. You walked over to unbuckle him. 

“Okay I’m gonna need your help, okay? You said as you helped him out. “Put your arm over my shoulder,” you instructed. He nodded his head and dramatically threw his arm over your shoulder. You let out one last breath.

Slowly, and wobbly, you made it to the door. You turned your head up at Jamie. His eyes were lidded and he was softly humming to himself. If you hadn’t seen this a million times before you would be laughing and smiling and finding this adorable.

“Lean against that wall so I can unlock the door.” You place him back against the wall and watched as he slid down. You let out a small groan, before unlocking the door. You pushed it open the turned back to Jamie. “Come on let’s get you back up.” You exasperated. 

When he was standing up and leaning against the wall again, you took a moment to collect yourself. You leaned your forehead on his shoulder and felt a tear slip out. You gained your composure before going to look at him again. Jamie took this as an opportunity to quickly give you a kiss. Like the kiss on the cheek earlier, it was sloppy and wet but now it was like you could taste every drink he had drank that night. You pulled away quickly and felt another tear fall. You knew that Jamie wanted to say something but you started to move him before he could.

You kicked the door closed with your foot once you were inside. You looked at the stairs, this was always the difficult part. You readjusted Jamie’s arm and your hold on him. You walked to the stairs and stopped. 

“Lean against the railing for me, just a little bit,” you ordered.

“Yes ma’am,” Jamie saluted playfully. 

“We’re gonna go one step at a time and we’re gonna do it slowly.” 

Pullin' me close, beg me, "Stay over"

But I'm over this roller-coaster

I'ma crawl outta the window now

Getting good at saying, "Gotta bounce"

You kicked open his bedroom door and quickly made it over to his bed. You sat him down and took a moment to regain some strength to keep going. Once you felt okay enough to continue you kneeled down in front of him.

“At least take me to dinner first,” he joked. You just scoffed before taking his shoes off. You walked over to his dresser and grabbed a random pair of sweats and a random shirt. 

“Put this on.” You tossed him the clothes. You left before you started to undress. 

You walked to the kitchen to get water and some medicine for when he woke up. You leaned against the counter and let out a frustrated sob. Tears you had been trying to hold back started to fall. No, you couldn’t cry yet, you had to make sure he was situated. You splashed some cold water on your face and grabbed the pain medicine and water, grabbing extra for Trevor who obviously wasn’t home yet.

When you returned he was sitting on his bed again. You set down the water and medicine on his nightstand before turning to him

“Stay,” he said softly and he grabbed your hand and pulled you to stand in between his legs. He leaned his head against your stomach and your hands went to run through his hair. 

This was the part you hated the most. The part where he asks, sometimes begs, you to stay. The part where it feels like he’s completely sober and himself again. But he wasn’t and you couldn’t stay, you never did, no matter how much you want to. 

“I can’t,” you whispered. You gently pulled his head away to look at his face. Knowing that when you saw his face you’d be brought back to reality because his face showed that he was still wasted. You sighed and helped him lay down. You could see he wasn’t happy with your response. “I can come over another night, I have a big test that I have to study for. Not all of us can be professional hockey players,” you forced an excuse and simple joke out of your mouth. 

“I think you could make it in the big leagues. You always give Trevor and I a run for our money,” he smiled as he settled into his bed. You smiled softly and watched his eyes close. 

You always stayed until he fell asleep just to make sure he was okay. When you heard his breathing even out and soft snores you knew you could go. You walked out and quietly shut the door behind you. When you were halfway down the stairs Trevor walked in. You raised an eyebrow at him and crossed your arms.

“Uber, I promise.” He held his hands up, already knowing what you were about to ask. Satisfied with his words you continued.

“I set out some water and meds for you. They’re on the counter,” you said when you reached the bottom of the stairs.

“You’re literally a saint,” he smiled as he hugged you. You softly laughed before pulling away. When Trevor saw your face up close his smile dropped. “Is he…” He trailed off. You looked back towards his room. 

“Yeah,” you whispered. “Can you just text me later and tell me how he’s doing?” You walked to the door. 

“Yeah,” he whispered. 

“Goodnight Trevor,” you smiled as you walked out. 

Honestly, you always let me down

When you got in your car you just sat there for a moment. This was exhausting, life draining almost. You leaned your head against your steering wheel and finally let out the sobs and tears you had been holding in.

You couldn’t wait to get home. You couldn’t wait to take a warm shower and wash the night off of you. You couldn’t wait to lay down in bed and sleep for an entire day. And as much as you hated it, you couldn’t wait to see him again.

He would be himself the next you saw him and it would feel like everything was okay. 

“I’m never drinking that much again!” Is what he’s going to say and stupidly you’re going to hope that this time is he was being honest.

But deep, deep down you knew he wasn’t. You knew he was going to do this again and again because he always did. He always let you down in the end.

[kindheart525]

I've been hinting at Ell and Giorno having a lot of kids, but it's about time you all get to see what those little critters look like! After lots of deliberation and planning, here they are!

A bit about their personalities:

Linguina - Although all of her siblings are extremely accomplished, she set the tone for the family as the eldest child. Long, nimble, and beautiful, she’s a natural as a gymnast and widely beloved too, by both her family and her country. She’s got a bit of that “first grandchild” special treatment, getting fawned over by the older folks when she comes home for holidays. They’re all very proud of her accomplishments but she has to remind them that she hasn’t actually beat any world records, though she has come close.

Pim II AKA “Beef” - Named after his Grandaddy and affectionately called "Pimmy" by his family, but he goes by "Beef" in his career and friendships as that reflects his personality and athletic skill better. He had to adjust his athletic goals upon the loss of his legs when he was younger, but that turned out for the better as the paratriathlon is where he really shines. Swimming, hand-cycling, and wheelchair racing all in one go take a lot of endurance, but he has what it takes and makes sure everyone knows it.

Yarnug - She’s got a love for rhythm and moving to the music, even though her style isn’t very…on beat. Her style of breakdancing hasn’t evolved much from the days of forcing her parents to watch her wriggle around on the ground as a kid, but she enjoys it anyway. She’s not good at what she does but isn’t part of sportsmanship enjoying what you do? And she does, so she’s halfway there at least. Nobody is sure how she keeps getting accepted into international competitions but she does, essentially failing her way to the top.

Fetch - As small in stature as his Grandfather, Fetch doesn’t meet the height requirements for most athletic activities, and trying to keep up requires more energy than it’s worth. He still has a deep appreciation for sports so he’s found his niche in dog agility training! Even if he can’t run fast enough, his dogs can do it for him and win lots of prizes. However, he has a very inconvenient name for the profession, as the judges or competitors calling him by name makes all the dogs go crazy over a hopeful game of “fetch.”

Goosebumps - Born without eyes and not much of a talker, Goose can be off-putting to many when he’s off the mountain. Even if his eyes can’t see, his big ears can certainly hear everything. Who knows what juicy gossip or dark secrets he’s picked up and is now storing quietly in his brain for the right moment? Those who love him know that he’s just laser-focused on his goals and doesn’t like to waste time. He’s efficient as a person and in his career in blind skiing, aiming to get to the finish line with as few errors as possible.

Izz - Although her long legs would suggest otherwise, she grew up feeling very small. With only a few short months to enjoy the youngest child status due to a rare superfetation situation, she grew up feeling like the attention was on everyone but her. Although she was born without arms and thus never had to go through any adjustment process, she didn’t feel as talented as Beef or Goose and thought she would never find her niche. Thanks to her family’s encouragement she did find her home in para-archery, and now embraces the “weird” parts of herself as tools to get her to the target.

Tiff - Piff’s identical twin. She’s an energetic and playful gal, with a witty sense of humor much like her parents. She’s a skilled fencer and an excellent multitasker, as she can carry on full conversations while sparring without breaking her focus. Her sense of humor veers into teasing and she loves it when her opponents pick on her back, though to her disappointment some of them are killjoys. She continues to be very sociable outside of her athletic activities and can make any mundane activity fun. Plus, she is very academically intelligent and might have chosen a more brainy career if it weren’t for her passion for fencing.

Piff - Tiff’s identical twin. She’s a beefcake like her Daddy and could have been well suited for a career in weightlifting or the likes, but that’s the opposite of her style. She prefers a life of beauty and grace over brute strength, so she chose figure skating as her path. While skating in itself requires a lot of strength, the main focus is dazzling audiences with her sparkly dresses and pretty pirouettes as she glides across the ice. She doesn’t care that some think she doesn’t fit the “look” of a figure skater and instead strives to change their minds about what “pretty” can look like.

Pii - Like his older brother Fetch, Pii also has an unfortunate name but he’s got it even worse. Just say that name out loud. He grew up being called Pissboy by classmates and siblings alike, but rather than trying to change his name and shed that legacy, he’s come to embrace it. You can’t hurt him with a name like Pissboy when he already calls himself that. He’s got a good sense of humor and likes to laugh at himself. Aside from that, he’s a champion in the bowling alley, effortlessly hitting strike after strike as if life is a rigged video game.

Rook - Unlike their siblings, they aren’t keen on the physical nature of athletics, but they have a large brain (literally) and sharp intellect that make them accomplished in their own right. Along with getting straight As in their classes, they’re a champion at chess and have lots of accolades to prove it. They have an eye for strategy that allows them to not only outsmart their opponents but also hold their own against nine older siblings. Not that there’s too much conflict, as they all understand that a World Chess Championship trophy is as valuable as an Olympic or Paralympic medal.

[o-wise-corvid]

Maul takes statements a little too literally because Sidious had a habit of making “offhand” ones that turned out to be extremely literal. Like “it will only be a little skin off your back” would mean carving a piece of flesh off Maul’s back while being told if he moved or made a sound, they’d start again on a completely new area until he could “complete the mission”.

You don’t come out of being raised like that for as long as you can remember and be a regular person mentally. If he didn’t take it all at face value, he’d never have survived. If he didn’t follow instructions to the letter, there would be pain worse than what he was already in.

In canon, and AU’s that include this, most healthy moment he ever had was realizing that it wasn’t that he was unworthy of Sidious’ approval, but that Sidious was unworthy of his adoration. In canon, he decided to make it Sidious’ problem however he possibly could. Killing Anakin was his best shot. And he got Ahsoka instead.

Kenobi was just an outlet for all the pain and hurt and jealousy that all this breeds inside a person’s soul. Kenobi was why he failed right? Right?! He had to be. And when Maul discovered Kenobi had someone that loved him, truly loved him… they had to be dealt with. And that’s why Satine had to die. How could he let the man who’d taken everything from him have the thing that Maul so desperately CRAVES? Simply put, Maul couldn’t.

Maul’s full, ultimately, of love. But he’s been beaten and twisted and broken so many times that when it comes to showing it, it’s also broken. “I was told to do this by a person I love and if I love them, I do it to the letter, because if I don’t, I must not love them so maybe they’ll love me if I do it perfectly.” All he wants in the end, is someone to please love him back. But he doesn’t believe he deserves it. Because no one ever has. Which in turn leads to “If I don’t show how much I hurt, it isn’t real but I deserve it all anyway, so who cares?”

So when I write for a Maul who’s endured Sidious and come out the other side, whether in an AU where he gave up being a Sith or Sidious was killed, you get a very tired, very lonely man. He’s free of some things, having possibly realized that Kenobi was just a scared kid who’d watched his father-figure die and who else wouldn’t have gone after Maul after seeing that? It was all Sidious. He might meet someone he likes. A partner or perhaps a younger person he realizes he has paternal instincts toward. But then, he comes to love them. And one day they tell him to just GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE. They mean it for an hour or so. A couple days max.

But Maul doesn’t understand that. It’s not their fault. And it’s not his either. So when they realize Maul’s not even in the same building, but is in fact waiting at the nearest spaceport with the cheapest shuttle across the galaxy in mind, it’s liable to make them panic. Because chances are, they don’t even remember what they said to him. If he ends up failing either in this or some other regard, brought back because of whatever reason, it frequently leads to quiet self harm because he failed and failure means punishment.

It doesn’t matter whoever he’s with all but begs him to not do this, not leave them. Maul doesn’t believe it. Even if he agrees just to get whoever it is to calm down. Because it feels so good. To be wanted. To be clung to. If it’s true, it’s going to have to hurt. Things that feel this good… they simply don’t happen to Maul. So they’re obviously lies.

This mental cycle is breakable. But it’s going to take a long time and a whole lot of effort. Which is why Maul isn’t easy to love or for just anyone to attempt to try to. He’s damaged. Horribly. And you’re going to get hurt trying to heal that. One should accept that not all of it will be healed. One should accept that he’s going to misunderstand. And if someone really does love him? They’re going to have to try anyway.

[himbo-in-limbo]

[Glamrock Bonnie fluffy headcanons n stuff!] 💙🐰

Just some random stuff of him with his s/o idk I'm rambling

This guy is such a cuddle bug

He needs to be touching you in some way since physical touch is his love language!

If you pet him his foot will do a lil stomp out of excitement, it's uncommon but it has happened b4

Even when y'all are standing around he'll just have his arm over you or around you, he just likes to hold you 🥰

He gives you kisses at random times and it'll always catch you off guard

Bc he likes to make you flustered hehe

If you happen to have tattoos he just loves looking at them and admiring the artwork

He's a baby girl so he def wants to sit on your lap or just have his leg on you

If he's his robotic self that might not be possible 😭 tho he wishes he could be carried like a bride

He'll settle for just leaning into you if y'all hug so brace yourself

If you also happen to know how to play an instrument he would be so happy n he'll definitely want to have a jam session with you

If you somehow also play the guitar he's gonna have heart eyes watching you play

Tbh I feel like he'll have such a weakness for you if you can sing too

He just loves people who can sing like

Man wants to be serenaded

Aww then when y'all have a jam session he'll play a tune and y'all can duet

if physical touch ain't your tune all the time he can totally just chill on the side

He just wants to be close to you is all!

Make overs are also fun for him!

Tho he usually just dose the eye liner he's open to you doing whatever to him!

He'll rock anything tbh

If y'all cuddle to nap he's cool with being the little or big spoon!

Tho you'll wake up to find yourself flushed to his chest and his leg over you

If you cry he cry's

An endless endearing cycle of cry

I feel like all of the animatronics are programmed to calm crying kids down so...

I feel like he'd be good at making you feel better

His go to method is just to make you laugh

If that doesn't work n if you let him he'll just hug you from behind n hope it helps

His ears will flop on your head 🥺♥️ aww

Tell him he pretty n he's a happy bunny

He is a bit of a jock so he would definitely flex to impress you on occasion

Especially when he scores another strike in bowling 🙄

If you can somehow beat him in a bowling match he's gonna be so impressed

Like finally a worthy rival

He can go all out now!

You probably didn't beat him after that but it's amazing you were able to win one at all

He still thinks about that loss once in a while 💀

Even then he gives you hugs n kisses to make up for your losses

Honestly u can't stay mad at him he's just to cute

Since he's a bit of an athlete if your into it he would definitely work out with you! He'll be super encouraging and spot you if you plan to lift that day!

Don't even worry about pre workout he's already making the smoothies n everything

I do think he's an active guy so if you like to run he'll always be up for it

He's a bit competitive so don't race him 😭

N when y'all have had your fun for the day all he wants to do is just chill with you on the couch n watch something till the both of y'all knock out

With him laying on your chest 💕

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Have you maybe read the All for the Game series? There is a character named Andrew Minyard (he also has a wiki page if you want to know more). I apologize in advance if the way I describe him sounds inappropriate but I will try to shorten it as much as possible to get to the question.He was a foster kid with a traumatic experiences and ended up on antidepressants, which mainly cause him to have two behaviors - mania and indifference/emptiness. He also always wears black bands on his wrists that cover scars and hide knives that he carries with him everywhere from traumas. When someone touches him unexpectedly, he immediately reacts with aggression even using those knives. My question is what if Spider in Cabin was like that? How would it affect his relationships with Norm, Sully and above all Quaritch and his attitude after the kidnapping?

I honestly had never heard of this series before. I looked it up and I’m kinda obsessed with all the reviews saying, this is the worst series I’ve ever read, I’ve read it nine times. Love that energy. I watched a two hour breakdown of the entire series and while I can say this will never be a series I can get into - I don’t care for sports, mafia stories or romance- but that breakdown was really entertaining and I’ve had a rough past few weeks so I really needed that. So thank you.

Putting a trigger warning on this one because the series mentioned features self harm, sexual assault, abuse, murder so read at your own risk.

The knives up the sleeve thing is a little much for me. Maybe he keeps a pocket knife in his backpack or something but having knives up your sleeve at all times is just a little unrealistic for me. But I can see anyone becoming super depressed and defensive after all the trauma a character like Andrew from All for the Game goes through. So applying that to Spider I can see him being much more aggressive towards others, more withdrawn. He dresses like a total punk ass just to scare others away. All black everything, even dyed his hair. Gauges in his ears, a bull ring in his nose, even a few tattoos he got in basements from tattoo guns bought off Amazon. His nails are painted black but they’re always chipped and jagged looking from Spider chewing on them out of nervous habit. If he’s in the mood he’ll wear eyeliner too. Classmates whisper that he gives school shooters vibes but Spider doesn’t care. He’d never ever do something so horrible. He just wants to be left alone.

Norm feels incredibly guilty over Spider’s transformation over the years. The kid used to be so sweet and energetic. Now he’s tense all the time, like a tightly coiled spring, ready to jump at any second. Spider won’t tell him what happened to bring on the change. Norm has put him in therapy multiple times but Spider never speaks. When he caught Spider self harming he flipped and took Spider to the hospital where they put him in the mental hospital for weeks. Spider never forgave Norm for that. The nurses at the hospital were nice enough but Spider just found their treatment to be patronizing and demeaning. His loss of freedom and personal autonomy drove him nuts to the point where when he finally lied his way out, the old him was completely dead. 

The Sully parents are very patient with him. They understand that Spider has been hurt so they’re very calm when Spider lashes out. The patients only angers him more though because now he feels guilty but also scared that they’re just lying so he’ll drop his defenses. Then they’ll show their real colors just like everyone else. So it’s not a good time for him. He wants to trust them but he just can’t and it angers him that he can’t so he lashes out more and the cycle just repeats and intensifies. Spider is on good terms with the Sully kids. They keep Spider out of most trouble. Him and Lo’ak still smoke weed together but other than that they all just have fun together. Spider never opens up to them though. And sometimes when they’re all having fun he sees the light in there eyes, how unburdened they are and it fills him with rage that he can’t be like that. To his friends it seems like the mood swing comes out of no where. Kiri is the best at bringing him back.

When it comes to meds I’ll admit I’m out of my depth for that one. I’ve done cognitive restructuring therapy for my depression, anxiety and A.D.H.D and that’s worked really well for me so I’ve never been medicated. My friends and people I’ve known that do need to be medicated actually tell me they love it and hate going off their meds. So I’m just not going to touch the going on/off meds thing because I don’t think I can write that in a realistic way. Sorry if that lets you down.

Quaritch would be working to snatch his son back as quickly as possible. He’s called the cops for and on Spider more times than he can count. He called police when his son was being abused by foster parents. He called them when a kid Spider was hanging around with had hard drugs on him that he and Spider were planning on doing later that day. That kid got five years in prison while Spider just got stood up. Quaritch called police for house parties, when Spider was out at four in the morning bumming around with rough people, when his son was hanging out at the skate park drinking in broad daylight. And it never did any good. His son was still on a bad path. So it was up to him to correct it.

When he kidnaps Spider and brings him back to the cabin Quaritch keeps him unconscious longer. He buzzes off his son’s dyed hair, strips the paint off his nails and files them so they’re neat and square. He cleans Spider’s face of any makeup and takes out Spider’s piercings, even has Ja reconstruct Spider’s earlobes so they’re no longer stretched. And then he starts the first round of Spider’s tattoo and scar removal. Quaritch bought at home lasers for both. The tattoos are easy. They’re all shitty and stupid in his opinion. Spider will thank him one day for getting rid of them. But those scars littering his son’s arms. It hurts his heart seeing how much damage his poor boy has done to himself. Quaritch looks forward to erasing it all and giving his son the life he deserves.

When Spider wakes up he’s horrified. Not just at the situation but at the forced changes to his appearance. He touches his throbbing ears, his fingers meeting with stitches. The breeze on his head and lack of weight tells him his hair has been cut off. When he runs a hand over it his stomach drops, utterly disgusted by the bristly feeling. His nails are perfectly manicured and his skin feels like it’s on fire in places, especially on his arms. His father is sitting there watching him. Spider lets out a guttural, terrified scream, “what did you do to me!”

Quaritch brushes him off. “Stop bein’ dramatic. You look like a respectable young man now. Not some horrible gutter punk….”

“Fuck you! What is this! What have you done!”

“Somethin’ I should’ve done a long time ago. I did my best to parent y’a from afar. I called the cops on shit foster parents. I called the cops when you were up to no good. But it didn’t help y’a. So I’m savin’ y’a….”

Spider scoffs, “saving me? You’re the reason I’m like this!”

Again Quaritch waves him off. “The system that stole you from me is why you’re like this. You wanna be tough. You wanna look scary. But I can see right through y’a kiddo. You’re just a scared little boy. A poor abused pup, lashing out at everyone and everything. But your home now. All y’a need is a firm hand, a lot of love and time to heal. That’s what I’m gonna give you.”

The words hit Spider hard. It sounds almost nice. But this shit is also crazy. He’s still in shock and hasn’t had time to process. “You’re nuts.”

“Nope. I’m just your father. Now let’s talk rules…”

“Get fucked!” Spider jumps up from his spot. He tries to punch Quaritch but the ex marine effortlessly grabs his wrist , spinning him around to pin his hands behind his back. Then he pulls his son into his arms and hugs him close, resting his chin on top of Spider’s head even as the boy fights wildly for release. Quaritch shhh’s him rocking Spider a little. Spider feels like he can’t breathe. A hold like this has always been a precursor to pain. “Let go of me!”

“No,” if anything his father holds him tighter, “it’s okay. You’re safe now. Everything is going to be okay.”

“You’re a lier! You crazy rat bastard! Let me go! Let me go!” But he doesn’t. Absolute panic takes over as he readies himself for what’s to come. The breakdown that ensues is so intense that Spider barely remembers it but there’s lots of screaming, thrashing and heavy sobbing. Quaritch calmly holds him through it all.

Spider eventually calms when nothing bad happens. His breath is evening out and he feels all hollowed out inside as his dad wipes the tears from his face. He strokes his cheek saying, “there y’a go. Let it out. That’s my boy. My poor sweet boy.” Spider doesn’t even know what to do with himself when Quaritch finally lets go. He just sits on the bed, staring off into the distance dead eyed while his dad gets him water and a snack.

The next day Quaritch explains rules and expectations. Spider’s got some of his typical thorniness back but he just doesn’t feel like himself anymore. He looks in the mirror and can’t even recognize the sad eyed boy looking back at him. Did he always seem that broken? He didn’t think so but in his state he can admit that he always felt that way no matter what front he put on. Now his appearance really matched who he is inside. He absolutely detests it. He also can’t stand that his father saw him so emotionally vulnerable. It feels like the man has blackmail on him now. A weakness he can exploit. Because of it Spider keeps lashing out. Quaritch doesn’t placate him like the nurses at the hospital. He also doesn’t show him the same kind of patient understanding that the Sully’s did. Instead he’s got clap backs that are so biting they shut Spider right up or punishments like loss of privileges and time out in his room. Spider deep down prefers it this way. It sucks sure but it also feels normal. Quaritch doesn’t treat him like he’s this fragile, scary thing. He’s just a regular smart ass teen reaping pretty average consequences for his actions. It’s way more dignifying than the alternatives.

A big struggle though is when Spider is due for a tattoo/scar removal session. He one, can’t stand being that close to anybody. Two he just doesn’t want to lose them. But Quaritch made it pretty clear that it wasn’t a choice and that they could either do it the easy way or the hard way. Spider always picks the hard way. There’s a huge fight until Quaritch can wrestle his son into a chair then straps him down. Spider screams the entire time the laser is going. Does it hurt? Sure, but not as bad as you’d think from the boy’s reaction. Quaritch never says anything. He’ll just pat Spider on the head as he finishes one tattoo then moves on to the next. It’s the scar removal that’s the hardest for both of them. Quaritch softly traces the marks with his fingers, his heart breaking. It doesn’t matter how many times he sees them, the thought of the sweet little boy that used to giggle and smile over everything, growing up to do this to himself is just devastating. Spider wants to cry at the touch but holds it down. He’s so uncomfortable and embarrassed. “What was going through your head when you did this to yourself,” Quaritch asks, so gently that Spider’s breath hitches.

He doesn’t want to answer. He’s never answered this question when asked it in therapy. But the look in his father’s eyes is nothing but caring and concern. It makes something break in him. “I didn’t want to feel anymore.”

“Feel what?”

Spider’s breath hitches again and he just knows the tears will fall. “Alone. Unwanted. Like I was the scum of the earth. Like I deserved it…” he burst into tears.

Quaritch strokes his hair “Miles. Miles look at me.” Spider does. He’s never made such strong eye contact before and it’s intense. “You only deserve the best in life. And you were never alone. I was always watchin’ over y’a. Because I love you. More than anything else. To me you’re the most precious thing in whole wide world.” Spider’s sobbing. It’s a lot to hear. His dad kisses his temple then sets to work getting rid of Spider’s scars.

Spider is despondent over the next few weeks. His entire perception of himself has been shattered. Quaritch keeps him busy, taking him on nature walks, having him help in the garden, talking with him as he does chores, and helping him with homework. Quaritch also encourages Spider to get back into his hobbies. Spider’s depression made him way less interested in making art, or trying music. He just didn’t have the energy for it. But Quaritch will make him sit in front of his easel and set a timer. At first it was only for five minutes. Spider only had to work for five minutes then he could be done if he wanted. By the time those five minutes where up he’d felt like he’d barely started and wanted to keep going. The time steadily started to raise, going from five minutes, to ten, to fifteen. Quaritch caps it at half an hour so the work session doesn’t seem too daunting. He doesn’t want to give Spider a reason to want to stop. The task always seems like a lot at first but Spider always gets into it going well past his time limit. Quaritch uses the same technique on Spider when he gives him a guitar. Quaritch knew his son wanted to learn how to play before the depression hit and also has read a lit bit on music therapy so he figured it be a good fit. Just like with his art Spider gets into learning the instrument, the time flying by.

Aside from keeping Spider active Quaritch works on Spider’s aversion to touch. At first a simple pat on the back has Spider nearly biting his head off. But Quaritch doesn’t stop. He’s always giving Spider pats on the back or shoulder, and ruffling his hair. It makes Spider uncomfortable at first. He lashes out each time, screaming and throwing things at his father, actually wanting the man to retaliate. But he never does. He never says anything about it actually. He’ll just pickup whatever mess Spider made then go about his day. And then hours later Quaritch will touch Spider again, receiving just a little less of a reaction than he did last time. It takes months but eventually Quaritch can hug Spider without him screaming and fighting. His son just goes a little ridged at first before relaxing into his arms.

By the six month mark Spider, more commonly known now as Miles jr, feels like a completely different person. He can’t even remember what he used to look like. His ears are all healed with barely any scarring, his tattoos are pretty much gone and the scars on his arms are really faded. His hair has grown out, soft blond curls framing his face. His skin is tanned from being outside so often. He looks more like the boy next door, not the intimidating teen he used to see in the mirror. But he still feels hollow inside. Not nearly as much as he used to. It’s in the quiet moments when he’s alone or not doing anything that the emptiness that used to be such a constant for him starts to flood back in. Luckily his auntie Z brings him a therapy dog named Cupcake. The border collie is constantly by his side. She sleeps at the foot of his bed. If Spider starts getting panicky she’ll jump up and give him a hug if he’s standing or lays on top of him if he’s sitting down. Spider loves her so much. He takes really good care of her too, taking her on multiple walks a day, playing with her and brushing her coat until it shines.

By the year mark Spider has improved a lot. Is he 100%? Not by a long shot. Depression as deep as his takes years of therapy to fully recover from. It’s hard for him to envision a future for himself. He still has some bad days where old feelings creep it. But he’s better. Not as empty feeling inside. He’ll be walking in the woods with his dad and dog, the sunlight will warm his face, the breeze ruffle his hair, and the surrounding nature is just so incredibly beautiful that it makes his soul feel light. An absentminded smile will grace his face. His dad will see it and grin, giving him a side hug. In moments like that everything feels like it will be alright for him.

Quaritch has floated the idea of finding a place closer to civilization. He wants Spider to be able to go to school, socialize, and make friends. He’s not worried about Spider being recognized. His son looks completely different from the boy he brought home. But Spider refuses. He’s comfortable in the cabin. He likes the seclusion, the peace and the quiet. He doesn’t want to leave any time soon.

So those are my thoughts. Hope you enjoyed!

[princess-of-the-corner]

enji todoroki has always struck me as a guy whose father was super ridiculously orphan beating kitten drowning levels abusive and he was like 'as long as i dont do that then i cant possibly be doing child abuse' which is. Incorrect.

yeah nah yeah nah yeah! it's

Okay so like. Canon. Canon gives us VERY little on Enji's parents other than his father's death and how that effected him. Though yes the effect does imply that he loved his father.

But I do think the 'I'm not a fucking monster so clearly I'm not awful?". Both in general because he'd have basic knowledge of abuse existing, but also he's seen Hell through his job.

In Road to Hell, the way I wrote his father is that Enji is very much repeating the cycle of abuse because he doesn't realize the things that happened were 'wrong', and is very much exactly like his father.

like like like

I'm going on a tangent because I really like the OCs I made for Enji's parents and I'm using the excuse to info dump on the dynamic sorry hold on

So! Enji's Parents!

I did give them names in Road to Hell. Rin and Homura. I have little tidbits about them that I love. High school sweethearts. They wanted multiple kids. Homura planned to start a bakery. Rin's Quirk is a mutation I've talked about before, giving him horns and a tail, while Homura's was to be able to heat things up(not full fire but temperature change). So on and so forth.

Things went sideways because Homura died due to complications when Enji was born.

Rin was now a single father. Only his own income and a newborn to take care of. So he blew through his savings to be able to take care of Enji himself the first few years.

But this resulted in kinda. Making Enji grow up a little too fast in some ways. By the time he was about five or six, Enji was already able to do things like walk himself home from school and make dinner. Rin was always working to earn back what he'd lost, so there were a lot of 'daddy calls to say he picked up an extra shift' days, where Enji would have dinner alone and go to bed.

Rin was also physically abusive in a... .I don't want to say 'subtle' way. But he wasn't just some asshole smacking the kid around for no reason. Enji had to do something 'bad', and punishment was physical harm. While Enji was a pretty good kid, he was still a kid. He'd break a rule here and there. Sometimes small like 'don't eat on the couch you eat at the table', or sometimes bigger like skipping school to see a movie. Rin very much loved him and would also be kind to him otherwise.

at the same time, Rin was very much traumatized by the whole 'his wife died' thing. Which was unintentionally used to guilt trip Enji. "She died so you could live, so you'd better be something great".

Ofc Rin also dies when Enji is in middle school. Which gives its own trauma.

all of this is stuff I have Enji repeating with his own kids.

When Rei's in the hospital, he doesn't see anything 'weird' about Fuyumi stepping up and taking on Rei's housewife duties and making dinner for the family and other such things. He was far younger when he had to do the same after all.

While Enji might not see the need to get physical over smaller rule breaking that timeout or grounding can deal with, bigger things will 'deserve' physicality.

and yeah the obvious: taking his own traumas and projecting it on his kid(s) hoping that their existence will make everything worth it/fix everything.

There's other factors too. Like Enji not seeing much issue with Toya and Fuyumi being left to watch over Natsuo and Shoto because he was often babysitting the neighbor kids or keeping an eye on the various foster siblings that rotated through.

Speaking of we can swing to the whole 'there are people who are way fucking worse' thing.

Because yeah the handful of temporary foster siblings that rolled through were the first tangible experience of the more horrific abuse. Not just 'physical harm as punishment'(which is still abuse but gets seen differently). But he knew kids whose parents would get drunk and kick the shit out of them and cause far more damage than just a bruise. Parents who didn't at least provide food for the kid to make themselves dinner even if they could cook. Not to mention worse horrors like sexual abuse!

Then there's things that Enji would see on the job. It might not be often, but he does run across horrific family situations. For example, everything with Hawks.

You also have a different example of abuse with Rei. Her parents weren't physically abusive, but they treated her as an object rather than a person.

So Enji looks at all these examples of shitty parenting. Then looks at his own kids who are, in comparison, well taken care of? Nothing looks wrong! That's totally the same normal and happy childhood he had! Even better actually because he has way too much fucking money and the kids have siblings for company!

(I do low-key have a scene written where he's talking with Midnight and just kind of like "..... I think I had a bad childhood." and girl is like 'Yeah I know.")

[futuremrscameron]

https://www.tumblr.com/futuremrscameron/773247130308657152/foxy-and-pope-are-really-each-others-foils-hold

Could you expand on this (if you haven’t already ofc) bc I could see pope having a bit of secret hero worship of foxy bc she’s essentially what his parents would want for him - a black kid that made it out of the cut through her intellect. I would assume apprehension of her and her motives would probably take precedent till she distances herself from the Camerons.

But foxy is interesting bc though she “made it out” like pope is expected to, the class and race discrepancies within the obx universe is so steep that even she is still a bit at the whim of the kooks that she comes into contact with. She lowkey reminds me of the pet to threat phenomenon that a lot of black women face in the work place. Also I see them being parallels in the sense that both seem to be stuck in a cycle with people they care for but will never fully get them. This is probably more for foxy bc she’s never gonna really be “one of them” despite her proximity to ward. While I do think the pogues genuinely love pope (and now he has Cleo), there’s always going to be a fundamental disconnect with him being a poor black kid. Roxy’s case is a mind fuck bc she’s likely filling a pseudo daughter role with ward and then a psychosexual role with rafe bc he’s… rafe.

It must be so insidious watching rafe melt that cross down for her as someone that’s been in pope’s position. Everyone always focuses in on the jj/rafe beef but rafe seems to have an almost pathological need to humble pope. Hell, though it wasn’t under altruistic motives, even Ward was side eyeing rafe for melting what was something special. I feel like people over look that piece bc it would lead to the uncomfortable convo of like hmm why does rafe act so weird with pope (and by extension kie). Lowkey can’t even blame them bc the show doesn’t even go there fully.

*tangent but I wish we got more about what pope would’ve done if this whole treasure hunt didn’t derail things. We get the scholarship piece and we get that running gag in s1 of him wanting to be a coroner/interested in death. That’s a pretty niche profession and his parents seem like very practical people, like how did he come to that? But that immediately gets dropped and only seemed to be played for laughs/to drive home he’s a bit weird. I would’ve loved for that to be tied to the cross. Possibly a supernatural element of him feeling connected but not knowing just yet*

Anyway I’m sorry this is long 💀 just my two cents ❤️☝🏽

i talk about rafe's anti-blackness and how he treats pope and kiara here and here

(so glad you asked, i've been meaning to follow up on this)

foxy is a "success story", she's the first in her family to finish college and for the heywards she's proof that smart black kids can "make it out" if they work hard. bobby and cara are always telling pope that he should be more like her, pope hates when his parents do this but he does thinks she's cool. "anomaly" is the best way to describe how pope views foxy, she's successful and living the life that most in the cut can only dream of but she looks miserable.

whenever he sees her in the cut while she's visiting her family she looks so happy but in figure eight she seems cold and distant like she's wearing a mask of indifference to hide the anger and grief she feels. the figure eight residents and the camerons aren't special she's met hundreds if not thousands like them her whole life so their comments on her intelligence, appearance, and qualifications don't bother her as much.

she gets more homesick as the seasons go on but like pope she feels like she can't "fail" because it would spit in the face of everything their families have sacrificed for them. she sees herself in pope and wants to stop him from repeating her mistakes so she unofficially takes him under her wing. they both know the hard truth that it doesn't matter they never truly "make it out", it's a change of scenery (and economic status) with the same problems. sure they're not struggling to make ends meet anymore but they're still the other™️

her relationship with the camerons is all over the place; hostile (rose/rafe), sexual harassment (rafe), emotionally manipulative (ward), mutual understanding (sarah), babysitter (wheezie)

rose sees her as a threat and thinks she's full of herself. rafe, i go into depth about how his brand of white guy treats black women they're attracted to here and he's lucky they're not coworkers cause he'd be reported to HR. he's not hostile like rose is, constantly (turning her nose up at her and questioning her qualifications) but he doesn't invade her space, give unwanted compliments, and remind her of her position when she "steps out of line". he also sees her as extra competition for ward's affection which fucks with him almost as bad as sarah getting all his attention cause she's an "outsider".

ward has treated her like a psuedo daughter since she started working for him. he's the type of white boss to say he sees potential in her and blur professional boundaries but the moment she undermines him or surpasses him here comes the strict no nonsense boss and cold distance (i know some people don't think ward is a master manipulator, just a father trying his best but i call bullshit he knows what he's doing, basically pitted all his kids against each other for his love and affection) sorry for the tangent. even when foxy seems to finally be free from their grasp when she quits, they still find a way to drag her back in (trying to stop rafe from melting the cross, helping an injured ward)

rafe melting the cross down was probably the most racist thing he did in that show, tied with hate criming pope. she's been helping pope with the legal aspects of finding and reclaiming the pope so when she finds foxy feels responsible even though she tried to stop him and it acts as her final straw. she's especially broken up about it cause she knows pope was doing this for his family/ancestors, it's about keeping their memory alive and making sure they're not written out of history not for thr money or recognition. in this universe she's the one to tell pope and tells him she will defend him in court if he kills him and gets caught.

"rafe seems to have an almost pathological need to humble pope"

his beef with pope is purely racist despite what others (white rafe fans) want you to believe. he jumped pope for no damn reason, if he really wanted to get revenge for topper he would've beat up jj, pope had nothing to do with it and i don't think rafe is emotionally intelligent enough to hurt pope to get to jj (emotionally/mentally). literally told him to stay on his side of the island and to know his place, whether the creators and writers realize it or not.

he was late to the hunt for the cross but it is not a coincidence that he and pope were after the same thing at the same time (i believe the writers knew what they were doing to some extent) and when he later melts it down sure it was to spite his dad and prove his worth to him but he was also glad to get one up on pope you can't tell me it wasn't. he knew at that point that the cross was a historical artifact and rightfully belongs to pope and his family.

the writers don't care enough about the black characters to even consider the implication of melting a cross that belongs to a black family. i truly believe their knowledge of racial dynamics maxes at "racism bad." no thoughts about the many microagressions from rafe or what it means to have the camerons live on a plantation so i don't expect them to understand or care about pope's character and why he wants that scholarship so bad (feels he needs to get out but suffocating under the pressure) or explore his home life or interests or drives or the xenophobia directed at cleo by that random kook guy in s4

(sorry i was all over the place i hope i answered this to your satisfaction i really loved this ask)

[strawberriesinmoominvalley]

strawberriesinmoominvalley's marvel masterpost:

hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night

an eighteen year old natasha defects to shield after clint takes the one shot he didn't, and finds the family she didn't think she deserved to have. a happy au where the world is saved (eventually), cycles are broken and there is something to be said about the power of friendship (possibly) being real

you have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve (and i have always buried them deep beneath the ground)

He needed to just kill her and finish the job. But something in his gut was telling him not to. That something else was going on.

He prepared to shoot, and stopped, before putting his bow down, sighing. Coulson was going to kill him, even if she didn’t.

“Look. I’m going to give you another option. Come back with me. Join SHIELD.”

OR clint's one shot he doesn't take, and what becomes of it

(can be read as a standalone)

look at the wonderful mess that we made

He wasn’t hers; not really.

Natasha wasn’t stupid. She could never have children, and was never meant to be a parent. The Red Room had made sure of that. But they’d had Peter for almost three years now, living on an isolated farm Fury had let them have. It was off the books, away from everything and everyone. It was a safe place to have a child who should stay as far away from the fighting as possible.

OR what happens when natasha and clint adopt a kid they find during a hydra raid

(can be read as a standalone)

falling doesn't feel so bad when i know you've fallen this way too

It was nice to essentially be rid of HYDRA. As much as she loved destroying Nazis, it was good to bring this mission to a close, to get rid of an organisation capable of so much terror.

The mythological hydra wasn’t impossible to kill, and neither had this one been.

OR they've finally taken down hydra, after years of near-constant raids. all natasha and clint have to worry about is going to stark's party and going home to their kid.

but when ultron goes wrong, and they're forced into a fight with a robot and two enhanced teenagers, where are they meant to turn? is it truly possible to get peace in their time, or are they fighting an indestructible force?

and will they all make it out alive?

you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

The first day was awkward.

Dealing with ex-HYDRA kids was not Natasha’s first rodeo. She’d helped Peter - hell, she’d been brought up in the Red Room. She understood how fucked up things like that could make you. But Pietro and Wanda were different to Peter - they were avoidant to touch, checking for exits in every room they entered.

OR wanda and pietro learn they finally have a home, and are loved. the farm family gains two new members

it's the living that's hard

He joined her as she dangled her legs off the ledge, the metal cold even through his pyjamas. “Why are we out here?”

“I used to climb fire escapes when I was younger,” Wanda said, watching the skyline, at the lights from the buildings washing them both in a faint glow. “It was a good way to get quiet. When I was very little my Mama would take me out on the one outside my house when I didn’t sleep. It was scary because we never knew if there was going to be an air strike. But we never knew, and even though it was more dangerous than staying inside, it was worth it.”

Peter considered this for a while, before turning to face Wanda. “You didn’t have to share that tradition with me. Thank you.”

“She wouldn’t want me to be sad,” Wanda replied, a soft sadness in her voice. “They always tried their best for us, my parents. They’d be happy I have a family now.”

OR small moments from the family as they make their new life in new york

what happens now? do we have another go? (do we bow out and take our separate roads?)

Wanda struggled as she lifted the explosion surrounding Rumlow up, her body shaking. She’d almost made it high enough when her focus slipped and she let go of the explosion, taking out the entirety of a floor of a building.

Natasha could hear screams around her but she scanned for Pietro, finding him staring at Wanda. He glanced at Nat, shock on his face.

“Get your sister to the plane. Now.”

OR due to the incident at lagos, the sokovia accords are created. natasha and clint don't know what path to take, which one will keep their family safe. everyone has different opinions and the time of the avengers may come to a close

but what happens when the signing of the accords is attacked and bucky is blamed? was it really steve's best friend, now the winter soldier? and why does there seem to be more than one supersoldier running around vienna?

there are two of us on the run

Natasha was going to be a Widow. Her Mommy was going to die. Her baby sister was becoming a Widow. She couldn’t do this again.

Yelena swerved the plane sideways, spinning them around in the air. The force jerked everyone, and Yelena felt the seatbelt cut into her neck. She pressed the accelerator, flying them back the way they came.

OR yelena was the big sister, eleven years old and four years of the red room under her belt. natasha was six, her only memories full of ohio and the fake family they had. yelena had always been the harsher one, doing anything to keep natasha safe. in a split-second decision, she changes their course from cuba, taking natasha as they run from their past.

but the past has a funny way of catching up with you, doesn't it?

i will look for you as the sun rises higher

She hadn’t meant to do it. She really really hadn’t.

The breath was knocked out of her lungs as the gun fired again, her finger accidentally pressing the trigger. She screamed, throwing the gun away as fast as she could.

And-

She didn’t mean to. She really didn’t, and she didn’t know what to do-

OR children make mistakes and accidents happen. when your children are widows, accidents tend to be more fatal

you'll change your name or change your mind, and leave this fucked up place behind (but i'll know, i'll know)

Natasha promised that she’d do anything for Yelena and protect her forever. And Yelena knew that was true, because Nattie had always protected her. She always would. Plus, you couldn’t break a promise.

Nothing bad would happen to her if she was with her big sister.

OR natasha and yelena stopped being sisters after she let them go back to the red room. natasha just never thought to tell yelena that

blow a kiss, fire a gun (we all need someone to lean on)

The shower was icy cold as she stepped under the spray, her body flinching instinctively. The water ran red and only then did she let herself cry, scrubbing at herself with the soap.

The child had been six. The same age as Yelena when they were taken. In that moment, when she’d slit the boy’s throat and blood had sprayed everywhere, she saw her baby sister staring back at her.

OR moments of natasha washing off blood, and how she realises she's not alone

we are the reckless, we are the wild youth (chasing visions of our futures)

By the time Peter was nine, he was very aware that he wasn’t like the other kids. He asked May about it and she said he was autistic, which wasn’t a bad thing, it just meant he saw the world differently. Peter wasn’t sure he fully agreed, because if it wasn’t a bad thing why wouldn’t anyone be his friend?

Then Tony Stark became Iron Man and Peter had never been more excited in his life.

Tony Stark made technology and was a superhero! Ben helped him get lots of books from the library because he decided he was going to be an engineer and a scientist and a superhero all at once too.

OR peter's never spoken, which is fine by him, even if he desperately wants to fit in. his life is fine and he's going to be an engineer-scientist-superhero just like tony stark!

then his uncle ben dies and it's his fault. may makes him promise not to be a superhero. so his plans kinda fall apart until he gets powers.

because really, it would be dumb if he didn't help people?

he couldn't save ben. maybe he could save everyone else

if i could start again a million miles away (i would keep myself, i would find a way)

Being different in the Red Room wasn’t allowed. In fact, it got you killed.

Natasha had always helped her when she didn’t understand things, when kids would laugh at her for being unable to tie her laces, or for only talking about My Little Pony. She wouldn’t tease her, just patiently help her learn the skill (or do it for her, if Yelena was being honest). She’d always play with her and make sure she understood what was going on.

And now she was alone. The first time Yelena tripped because she couldn’t do up her laces she was hit around the face so hard the world spun.

She learned fast after that. You are not enough. Yelena is weird and different and that is bad.

OR moments of yelena's life of growing up up in the red room whilst being autistic, plus all the things that came later

i try to memorise and identify but it's all getting foggy

she says "i am real and you are not"

“What is going on?” she demanded, pulling the photo of the two of them out of her pocket. “You send me this and a bag of vials with no context? What’s going on?”

Yelena shoved past her, putting space between them before she folded her arms. “Why are you so angry today? I thought you were my sister. Fuck you, Dreykov.”

Natasha paused. “Today?”

OR when natasha goes to yelena after receiving her package, things don't go quite as she expected. natasha just wishes yelena would trust her. yelena just wishes natasha was there.

you're free to have everything you can see (all that you want from me)

Yelena didn’t protest, even though the idea of seeing him made her want to scream, to throw up, to run and run until she died. Because Ohio had been the only thing she knew was real for years, even though their little family was fake. Natasha was different, their mom was dead. Alexei had surrendered them to the Red Room. He’d broken Yelena, shattered her into the pieces she called herself.

Natasha deserved better than Yelena, so Yelena would be the perfect sister.

OR yelena really doesn't want to see alexei again. she also doesn't want natasha to leave - because that's going to happen. she just knows it

[dramarants]

trying to come to terms with the bewildering final 10 minutes of tteotm:

first and foremost, undeniably, the technical and narrative execution this ep was choppy, weirdly paced, ambiguous (not in a cool OE way, just literally hard to follow - how are we in the tomb, why is she back in devil bride attire, where did the scale in the last shots come from, why did qingyu's fucking hair need to turn blond, pang yizhi what did you finally understand cuz I sure as hell don't??) and left a lot of loose threads. with all the build up to his sacrifice, you want some sort of twist or surprise but nothing comes. the ending is so abrupt and this is always and forever gonna leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

the last eps especially emphasized legacy and, with li susu returning as a goddess, I must assume the immortal realm learned the truth about ttj's sacrifices and believed it. ttj gets his roses.

I'm gonna pretend ttj explained the zhaoyou situation to her too

in fact if we're in imaginary land jiwu grew the fuck up and, upon realizing the depth of ttj's friendship in spite of everything, becomes riddled in guilt for a while and fiercely protects ttj's memory

a child!! literally how to carry a legacy and memories into future generations

ttj's destiny was to suffer and resent the world + give up his body and soul to carry out the devil god's will

instead, he embraced the light, learned to cherish the world, bore other's resentment in his final trial (strength that I sure as hell don't have! even saving jiwu from himself!) he remained in control of himself, choosing to sacrifice his body to stop the devil god's plans

the love was there and for once, to break a cycle of pain and sin, overcome the consequences in the mortal world, for ttj and lss, it was fucking enough!

by destroying the evil bone in his final moments he prevents the devil god from ever returning, truly the world's savior

his death was mostly on his own terms, with purpose he didn't have before

saving a part of his divine essence in the scale to continue to protect susu was a full circle moment

in fact ttj embodies mingye in a ridiculous number of ways by the end, from his actions to his values down to his clothes, yet another way to stick it to the devil god fate

he looks at peace in his last shot during the battle and in the scale

they had to cut scenes and therefore couldn't elaborate on the post all-in-distress world

or dedicate the 30s it takes to show him regrow from the scale or something lbfad style 🤧

it seems like he could hear susu when she was speaking to the kid? so he can follow his wife and daughter's lives knowing he's loved and respected until his return that I am headcanoning??

by being in the scale, he keeps his promise to stay by her side forever and accompany her in moving forward through parenthood and the ordinary life he dreamed of

in fact ttj never has to defend himself or put up with bs again, his fight is over and he gets to watch a harmonious world that he and susu made possible

susu my girl, having faith in him and understanding everything immediately and wishing to meet him again

bearing the cross of the only living god and continuing, again, their legacy, protecting their love and the world

she was ready to die with him!! like!! fuck till death do us part I'll share your burden let's embrace and face the end together!! a sparkle bathed version of ttj trying to die with her in ep 29!!

nothing can come between them anymore they fricking ensured that

plus them in the heavenly realm, the only two gods existing, removed from the world and basking in that moment where the devil god no longer exists and it isn't a dream 😭

the tomb scene was so heartbreaking in the good way

these characters have been on such an incredible, unhinged journey and looking back, there's so much more to unpack and appreciate

ugh it's not a bad ending cuz it's sad, I mean how many of us predicted he'd die for the greater good a long time back, it's just the way it ultimately played out was... somehow disappointing

but you know what I enjoyed the path here so much and can imagine their path ahead enough to forgive it and continue loving tantai jin and li susu and tteotm overall anyway

[loomiebin]

Hello!! I was curious, if you’re willing to share: how did you become a Christian, or why do you believe in God? I know it’s a super deep topic, and I understand if you don’t want to answer. I’m personally trying to figure out what I believe in, and I don’t see a lot of Christians on tumblr. So I was curious! Thank you :)

I’m actually glad this was sent in. It gives me a chance to share why in the first place I came to God and why I love him.

I’m gonna start from the beginning if that’s alright? This may or may not be lengthy. So please bear with me, dear Anon. (Edit- IT IS- IM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN WHY- I hope you’re able to at least pick at it over the day if you don’t read it in one go so it doesn’t seem like so much. :,) ))

I was a kid when I was first introduced to God. Now some people have an introduction to him at some point in their lives, whether they grew up with going to church or with their parents or grandparents- maybe friends or other family members. For me, I didn’t personally have a relationship with God or go to church as a kid. I didn’t really KNOW Jesus or God. Just kinda knew the basics is that GOD is God and created the whole universe and I guess some of the well known teachings of like “Don’t kill, don’t steal, etc.” in the Bible, right? I was below the age of 10. As far as I can remember.-

I recall one day I was playing hide and seek in the living room with my brother. Funnily enough there was actually a program on tv talking about Jesus (was a cartoon if I remember right.) but I wasn’t watching or paying attention to it. It was just playing in the background basically while I hid behind the couch while my brother was looking for me, I was curled up and covering my mouth trying to stop my giggles. Then all of a sudden, I’m being completely honest as crazy as it sounds.- There was a sudden silence- like everything was muffled. You know the best way I can possibly describe it? Think of how you go underwater and you can probably hear muffled talking or chirping or noises outside of it, but not entirely. That’s what it was like. It was like it incased me and I remember hearing loud(not yelling.) and clear,

“*IRL name*, Be good.” And then just a few seconds later that muffled noise vanished. As a kid I didn’t know who told me that, who it was- matter of fact I didn’t think much about it. It wasn’t until I was OLDER that I figured out it was actually Jesus talking to me. Mind you, I was a kid who barely knew anything about him. I certainly wasn’t reading a bible at that age when it happened nor did I pray, or attend church. Yet he still called out to me- even though he knew ME, I still had yet to even know who HE was. That was my first time really experiencing God without even realizing it was him.

I was also a kid who ended up having problems. Mental issues mainly- even today I still struggle a bit- I have a bad habit of overthinking to the point where it’s led me to multiple mental breakdowns through my teen years till being a young adult now (18) but as of recently turning 19 things have definitely gotten better BY FAR. And these issues started all the way back since first grade. But stating this is important as it’s gonna tie in to what I’m gonna get into next.

Since these mental issues started when I was young- blaming myself for things that no one blamed me for, picking on myself for no good reason. I would cry myself to sleep without anyone knowing for years- although it was apparent to my mom as time went on how my smile and me, myself- weren’t the same. The thoughts I dealt with when I was younger would ‘evolve’ into different things. What I thought and struggled with back then, once it wasn’t an issue anymore and I overcame it, then a new thought would come up and take its place, starting that cycle all over again and making me cry myself to sleep and continue that self-deprecation and suicidal thoughts of obviously, thinking I’d be better off dead. Now I never committed self harm until I was 11-12. I was in an online relationship I shouldn’t have been in and both me and that person weren’t ok- and it just ended up being a mess that caused me to head into depression and what made me start cutting in the first place. (I’d like to state I do NOT blame this person at all anymore- even though younger me did years ago. But God healed me of the hate in my heart towards them- All of it’s in the past and we were both young and again…just not ok.)

There came a day when I was 12-13 and my mom saw the scars and fresh cuts on my wrist that I didn’t think of hiding. I was handing her a paper when she saw them and grabbed ahold of my wrists. She started to question me and crying- not understanding why I did what I did. I don’t exactly remember what I told her- but I do remember what she told me- and this is very important for what I’m gonna point on further down the line and what also saved my life. She said “Promise me right now, you’ll never cut yourself again or try to kill yourself.” And she told me to promise or swear to God that I’d never do it again. So I did swear/promise to God I wouldn’t.

I was trying to be ‘sneaky’ and cut where she wouldn’t see. My thighs. But that only lasted less than a week before I stopped completely after we had that conversation (about promising not to do that stuff anymore) But I was still depressed- hurting and aching. I just wasn’t ok.

I was also a homeschooled kid. Been since I finished second grade-

(we didn’t have a car) and just 2-3 years ago (maybe even longer) we had finally gotten a car for a year or less and after finally getting one, it literally went out on us for no reason/out of the blue some months later. Point is- I was also a home hermit. Rarely left the house and was usually cooped up in my room most days- if not that then maybe I was at my grandmas/cousins (they lived on the same property 5 minutes give or take from where we lived.) but all I knew was close family. Had no IRL friends but some online ones- but obviously they come and go. Never really a lasting connection to say the least. So this lead to me having really bad socially anxiety growing up, along with not interacting with people outside of immediate family basically. I had social anxiety till I was 16.

Now, I never prayed for it to go away (and by this point I did have a relationship with God.) but I knew my mom did after she confessed to me how she would pray on my behalf and ask God to take away my social anxiety- she was scared because she was wondering how I was gonna make it out there in the world and get a job or take care of myself as I was getting older and it was just that bad. Anyway, one day she pulls over to Walgreens and asked me to get down and get a couple items for her. So I steeled myself and mentally prepared myself saying it was going to be ok, stop worrying so much, and just generally calming myself down and reminding myself it was again, going to be ok.

I got down off the car and grabbed a cart, walking in and going down an aisle. I walked past a woman and suddenly, it hit me. I feel normal. There’s no anxiety or fear- no panic- I feel…fine. Peaceful. There was no feeling of it anymore at ALL. I literally thought “So this it’s what it’s like to be normal?” Because it really sunk in. God right then and there that day when I was 16, and had gotten down at Walgreens, took away my social anxiety. And I’ve never had it again. I give God all the Praise and glory. That WAS him- because socially anxiety doesn’t just magically disappear like that and it was an answered prayer for my ma.

And one day- when I was 16-17 another thing happened. I would almost ALWAYS cry when I looked in the mirror when I went into the bathroom. Staring at myself and feeling grossed out and hating myself for years. I thought I was so ugly…and unlovable as well. I just hated me. And that was for a long time- I hated even taking pictures and would always put up a hand, turn away or cover my face. But God again, one day, when I walked into the bathroom (this wasn’t something I prayed for either- and I’m not sure my ma knew about this but I don’t think she did.) I looked in the mirror and I didn’t cry. I looked and I loved who I saw. I thought she was beautiful. She was pretty. She wasn’t ugly or gross. No, she was just fine. And I’ve never been upset with myself like that ever since. I don’t HATE myself anymore- God removed the self-hatred in my heart towards myself and now I love myself. In a non-egotistical way of course. Nothing like “I’m all that”/ “I’m better than you/Better looking/etc-“ no, no- not like that at all. I just didn’t hate the way I looked or who I was. I loved me! And I’m so happy with my features. Just wished I took better care of my skin, lol. So thank Jesus for that. He also showed me I am valuable and loved- through his word as I continued to get closer to him and realizing it, along with how he took care of me in these ways. Not to say my family didn’t love me or anything- but I always questioned it or doubted it in ways because my head was just not ok. But Jesus broke through to me to show me his love and that I am loved.

And the times I went through a lot of mental distress unknowingly to my family members, and even knowingly, Jesus was the one who helped me. Praying to him, and he answered. (Along with getting into the word and seeking what/remembering what he said) He gave me a peace, a hope and joy nothing and no one else could or can. And that’s not a temporary thing, that’s an ALWAYS and FOREVER thing. He was the one who stuck with me through thick and thin on those dark nights, getting me through those hard, hard bad days. Because they were NOT easy to handle or deal with. He took away my depression, giving me hope in my future as the Bible quite literally says:

Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

And so God did. He really, really genuinely did for me. And here goes that thing I was mentioning earlier about that promise I made him and my ma.

When I was around 17 give or take, I had a particular bad mental battle going on. And in the end, I genuinely gave up because I thought I had let God go. (Like renouncing him or something) and I always mentally told God I didn’t mean those thoughts and would repent and apologize. But that day, I thought I said something unforgivably to God and had just had enough and wanted to end it all. I mean, how could I say something so awful and horrible to him when he did all that he did for me? Gotten me through so much? And it was just a final string of giving up and it just snapped. I was done. So after deciding that on a car ride home after getting ice cream with my family from checkers, I was quiet the whole ride home and went straight to my room. It felt like everything was just done for me. That this was it. So after a bit I think I was called downstairs or had to use the bathroom and went down, and when I tell you I felt like there was a nasty storm in my head and it was such a strong feeling. I was just saying how I was going to end myself, that tonight was the night and I didn’t care what the consequences were or how anyone would care in the end. I just wanted to GO. Final. But the suddenly, as crazy as it sounds, it felt like a division in my head. Like someone put up a wall straight down the middle in my head. The best way I think I can describe it is like crashing waves against a clear wall. It’s muffled but also still loud enough to hear those ‘thuds’. Just like those thoughts that were raging going on about how I was going to kill Myself-(it was genuine. I really was. Even while I was depressed it had never gotten like that once.) and then Suddenly you have that one side of my head that was empty. QUIET. And I know it was the Holy Spirit giving me the chance to wait. And really think about what I was doing. And on that clear side of my head I had time to think. And then I was suddenly reminded of the promise I made to God years ago about not cutting or killing myself. As soon as I had remembered that, it’s like the thoughts just died down, and they were vanished almost instantly. The urge to kill myself was gone and everything just felt ok again. God knew what was going to happen and stopped it. Death was not for me that day- or suicide. It’s not from God nor would God want that for anyone at all. I don’t what this to come off like “I’m special.” Because no, I’m not. I’m a nobody, that knows a somebody (Jesus) and he helped me in my time of need. As he does to all those that reach out to him.

God also healed me of a huge kidney stone. Doctors said I had to have surgery most likely (I was in so much pain it wasn’t even funny until they gave me pain killers😭-) but just wanted to see if I’d somehow pass it at home. If I couldn’t, then I’d have to come back and get it removed there at the hospital. (Which was the most likely case since even they weren’t sure id he able to-) Point is, while waiting for results (since they weren’t sure what was wrong with me before they figured it out) my ma called my grandma and told her what was going on and they said a prayer over me saying for the kidney stone to go away, that I wouldn’t have to pass it or for it to turn to grains of sand. So I got released sometime later, with the news I mentioned above and they also gave me some cone thing to take home and pee the kidney stone into- and guess what? Next day no pain. Nothing passed. And I wanna say I remember seeing some small pieces of what could be resembled to sand in it- not a lot, just an extremely small amount that I almost didn’t notice. And when I went to get checked because I didn’t pass it, they said it was like I never even had a kidney stone. Gone just like that.

And listen, this is just a few testimonies of MY experiences. This does NOT account for what Jesus has done for my mother and the rest of my family. Because he’s done a LOT. And I’m not exaggerating or making any of this up. From the bottom of my heart, I mean all of this so genuinely and sincerely.

God has saved me, delivered me, healed me, and given me-

Joy like nothing and no one else ever has. Peace, LOVE- goodness, once you KNOW HIS love, nothing can compare with anyone else’s. I’m telling you that so seriously as well. It’s so incomprehensible and so deep and so much, feeling his presence and knowing that love he has for you- you can’t help but fall into tears and sob. In a a good way because this has happened to me and others I know.

He’s saved me from depression, anxiety, social anxiety, given me confidence when I had none- like so much that I’m just- NOT the same person I was before. He’s made me more loving, he’s made me more patient, he’s made me more kind. Whatever piece of those things I had, he MAGNIFIED IT. But it wasn’t a lot with me, all that goodness in me was instilled by him. He taught me and showed me how to love and love right. Not my way, his way. Any goodness I have in me is because of him.

I had anger and hatred. I hated people- all you heard were stories about how awful people were and etc. So it made me hate them. but he actually brought me to LOVE. And LOVE people. He’s healed me emotionally. Gotten me through so much- and he’s shown me he’s known me better than I know myself. And even the Bible clarifies that since it states how he knows all the hairs on our head (paraphrasing-) and how we were fearfully and wonderfully made. He knitted us in our mother’s wombs. So yes, he knows me better than ME. Like dang-

He’s healed me mentally, and physically.

Yes, I still have some problems. But IM A LONG WAY from where and who I used to be. It’s easier to handle those overthinking thoughts- especially when I remember scripture to shut those thoughts up or prayer. And just reminding myself of what he’s done for me or even spoken to me about. He’s always present and he’s always been my help in need. He says he’s our rock- and sure enough, he’s definitely been mine. He says he’s our fortress, our firm foundation, and he has been for me and my family. I have reasons to believe in God. To TRUST him and have fallen in love with him, being in a relationship- not religion- and coming to love him because I’ve learned and spent time with him to know him personally. You can’t beat a relationship with God once you get to personally know him. Once you get a taste of his goodness, you just can’t help but run back and get more. Not using him!- but you realize that he’s just IT. You don’t need something else to fill that empty void in your heart and you come to find out once letting Jesus in and letting him do his thing and take care of you, that HE’S ALL YOU NEED. People look left and right for something, ANYTHING to fill them, and that loneliness or to give them peace, or love, or joy that’s so temporary and even those things once they think they find them do not last…it’s because Jesus is the answer. I’ve tried to go back to old ways and found NONE of them satisfy me or make me feel like they actually bring me a genuine, lasting, permanent joy or peace. You won’t be able to head back to any old ways, or if you do, it’ll be SUCH a big difference on how they make you feel, and how Jesus does. You won’t be able to deny it.

He’s also shown me mercy and grace I never deserved. I did (just as everyone has and I am no exception) have done things I’ve regretted or weren’t good. I am by no means a saint. But I’m just a flawed person trying her best with Jesus by her side. His grace and mercy getting me through daily, along with his love and the forgiveness we receive through him because of what he did on the cross. I’m not a perfect person- I can’t ever be nor anyone that follows Jesus. That’s only when you get to heaven so hiccups and scraping knees (stumbling and falling) are inevitable in your walk with Jesus. But what matters is you get back up, keep trying and moving forward with HIM. Not staying down and walking away. Don’t let anyone lie to you by thinking they’re the perfect Christian or person. We all have bad days and are human.

He’s really good. I just hope that when you read this, and hoping you’ll read it all the way through that just maybe you’ll consider getting to know him personally. He’s worth it, completely. Not trying to force it down your throat though! Jesus wants nothing more than a willing heart, a heart that opens up to him and wants to let him in. Not where you feel forced to.

I believe without a doubt in my heart all that Jesus has done on that cross for me, and you, and everyone else in the world. I believe he was risen 3 days later after he was crucified on the cross and he IS alive and living today. I have too much in my life that points to the fact he IS real, he IS very much present and his like nothing and no one I’ve ever had in my life before or could ever compare to.

He’s a father, a friend, a savior, a comforter and counselor. All he wants is to talk to you, and just wants a relationship with you.

[semi-imaginary-place]

end of ffxv thoughts

i sort of piecemeal watched the ending of ffxv so i finally sat down and watched the while thing through and some thoughts from the last 1/3 of the game

magic universe ending protozoa. This is bullshit. I get that they wanted to go scifi but it doesn't work. Imagine if maleria caused the sun to go out. They should have just made it magic. Curses were used to explain diseases anyways and magic engineering is already established in this setting. It can just be a magic infectious disease instead of having magic daemon protozoa and then they tied the magic protozoa to the world ending destruction of light like huh thats not how protozoa work. Like you could just say daemons and daemonic energy itself is infectious. Eh I suppose this isnt the worst i'm coming around to it. Like if you go the protozoa route how does the oracle bloodline stop it and why does lunafreya and ravus dying accelerate it (probably ardyn's doing) but it leaves more questions.

So in the final fight ardyn is weakened enough his physical body is destroyed but he still could come back from the rainbow realm. Ardyn kinda obsessed with noctis ngl

Which brings me to the next point presummably Noctis needs the power of the previous Lucis kings to get rid of Ardun for good but I thought that was what the 10 years was for to attune to the ring's power but then there's the cutscene of all the kings joining the ring. Did that really have to take 10 years? It feels more that the writers wanted a timeskip. I should go look up an explanation. Edit ah timeskip was crystal power.

Liked episode prompto gotta love an existential crisis. I am confused whether from prompto's monologue whether he knew he was an mt clone or not because he was saying as a kid he was afraid of people knowing. I should look that up. also did he meet luna before noctis? im unclear on the timeline. i looked things up. part of what confused me about the clone reveal was that the MTs seemed to be robotic when damaged or cut apart. the clones weren't directly put into the armor suits there were used as food to cultivate the black stuff which was then processed into the cores powering MTs. idk how much consciousness was retained but prompto seems to believe so.

Gotta say i really respect tabata. He was dumped into the worst case scenario, development hell project that had been dragging on and accumulating detritus for a decade, engine changes, concept changes, nomura, like late stage director change wow what a mess. I think tabata resigned after the project too. And yet ffxv managed to pull itself together in the end. Despite one if the worst development cycles in history xv still managed to have a better story than xvi. It shouldn't really be controversial to but monarchy iant a good government system so I'm a hard sell on return of the rightful king and divine right of kings type stories, ffxv did pretty good.

Also let me say maybe its the acearo but i cant be the only one who keeps forgetting lunafreya is the love interest they really feel like close childhood friends more than romanic interests. But I didn't hate it, it was fine.

just a thought. if after the darkening all of crown city moved to lestallum how is that possible. insomia looked like a major metropolis like hyper urban the population has got to be over 1 million maybe even 10 million or more and lestallum looks like a mid sized city maybe 0.5 million (possibly smaller) no way they absorbed that many people not to mention from other areas.

why was lunafreya in insomnia in the beginning of the game anyways

brotherhood huh i thought prompto and noctis met in highschool. actually if prompto was part of some lucis military operation how'd he end up living a normal childhood. oh the dog prompto helped pryna that's how they met. interesting contrast between prompto being presented as the "normal" one in the group and then he's actually super special i don't know if i like it. also not everything needs to connect back to noct and luna like prompto could have decided on weightloss and an image change on his own or be cause he wanted acceptance by his classmates. so prompto just shove his way into noctis's life after stalking him for like 7 years. eh anime's pretty bad it's on part with other videogame animes which all tend to be pretty bad or mid at best. it relies on tropes as a cheap easy way to tell a story with out doing any of the ground work to develope a narrative. eh it explains some plot things i suppose

kingsglaive: luna what are you doing just standing there while regis is trying to buy you time. drautos.. wasn't that the traitor guy. if so why did he send crowe to her death if the hairpin is bugged. presumably niflhiem wanted the tracker on lunafreya. the hairpin ending up with her through nyx is coincidence. multiple problems would have been solved giving lunafreya or nyx a gun. my dude why is you only long/mid range weapon a knife. plot armor really is the best armor drautos/glauca really shrugs off the entirely of regis's security detail, cladudis and regis but can barely get up from ring blast. why are the giant golems only activating now after the king has died (edit: oh that's the old wall they were talking about. it's not a wall). oh the car broke down i was like why are you all standing in the street, you're going to walk to altissia?? that's literally 40 times slower than driving. not sure why she ditched libertus beside to fit the game.

is it weird that i like the movie more than the game. movie is an action film to the background of a political drama with is exactly in my lane same reason i liked ff12. game is a bros roadtrip which is fun but isn't quite as exciting. kingsglaive also retains that urban fantasy setting that was core to versus xiii. kinda tropey action movie wise and as a movie maybe 8/10 but that's better than any other videogame movie i've ever seen in the last 20 years.

also i figured out why regis' model was bothering me, his beard isn't as neat as you'd expect. I guessing it's a 3d modeling thing because i sometimes see the same problem with animal fur just took me a while to connect the dots. regis' beard is kinda scraggly where as if you look at the beards of most high profile men they tend to be more neatly shaven (which by the way is a lot of work maintaining a good looking beard is more work then shaving every day because you still have to shave like every other day or but this time you have to actually groom it instead of taking it all off). i also still think the lucis crown looks stupid

ngl pocket edition looks super charming reminds me of bravely default i might like it more than the full game. idk why they bothered to remake all the models and assets this whole project seems like a waste of resources but it caters to my specific niche audience. i guess squeenix had too much fxiv money to burn.