#when do we think the due date will be
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
omegalerc · 5 days ago
Note
CHREGNANCY UPDATE MAYDAY MAYDAY CHREGNANCY UPDATE
Tumblr media
WAIT THE BUMP IS ACTUALLY LOOKING BIGGER .. INCREDIBLE STUFF HERE FOLKS
73 notes · View notes
Text
Halloween prompts year 2 day 10
Danny groaned, blearily raising his head from the nest of blankets and pillows he had made in his apartment. He had smelled something strange.
Something strong enough to wake him from his sleep. Danny got up and stumbled to the front door, cursing his luck for getting a fever so soon into his interdimentional road trip.
Peering out of his open doorway he saw a little kid shivering in the cold, badly hidden behind two trash cans in the mouth of an alley. Danny didn't think twice. In fact he didn't think at all. It wasn't uncommon for an Omega to smell a child who didn't have the scent of another Omega on them and immediately claim that child as thier own, and seeing as his home dimension had exclusively Omegas...let's just say there's a lot of drama in family court and a lot of laws pertaining to this.
So of course the next thing Danny knows is that the kid was bundled up inside his very soft and comfy makeshift nest before Danny passed out.
For the next week Danny had this mysterious fever and he acted like a parent on autopilot, barely conscious as he instinctually cared for the little boy. He made them food and cut them up into tiny bits to feed his baby and if it was handfoods like pizza rolls or sandwich triangles, Danny would hold him in his arms and rock his back and forth, humming softly as his child ate.
Eventually his heat ended (note that omegas from his world don't have heats, they don't have alphas and so they don't even know what a heat is) and Danny was very surprised he has a child in his house. But he and the baby are very emotionally attached to one another. When Danny asked what the little kids name was (and man this kid was little) the kid stared at him in the way little kids do before muttering the world "Clone" followed by what sounded suspiciously like a serial number.
Danny decided, nah. His kid now. Sucks to be the bioparent cause Danny doesn't wanna share.
Somewhere in the city, the bats were freaking out. They had raided a lab and discovered not only had one of them been cloned, but the clone had escaped and no one knew where it was. Cue panicked parental frenzy.
2K notes · View notes
faaun · 10 months ago
Text
pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
24 notes · View notes
genekies · 7 months ago
Text
tag vent
Tumblr media
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
13 notes · View notes
wizardnuke · 1 year ago
Text
thought about professor caleb a little too hard. laying on the floor
38 notes · View notes
m00ngbin · 9 months ago
Text
I want to be really obnoxious and tell people over and over that I just wrote over half of something I've been thinking about for like a week but I don't Actually want to be obnoxious so: i made something shortish and (hopefully) I'm going to publish it tomorrow/today or the day after and that's all I'm saying about it. That's it. Done. Over. Bye.
9 notes · View notes
thedreadvampy · 11 months ago
Text
another day another 2 hour despair sesh on the phone with my mum about Palestine
#red said#apparently the British Society of Friends won't allow an epistle that mentions 'the war in Gaza' in case it upsets 'the Jewish community'#literally MENTIONING THAT THERE IS A WAR#bc mum and the rest of the meeting agreed to remove reference to it starting on October 7th WHICH IT OBVIOUSLY DID NOT there are concerns#about Appearing Antisemitic. by MENTIONING THAT IT'S HAPPENING WITHOUT BLAMING KHAMAS#the justification. apparently. is that we're already on thin ice with The Jewish Community because of Quaker activities in Palestine#which have been largely to do with challenging apartheid and trying to help broker peace processes#so me and mum are both like. ok so are we pro Palestine or pro genocide as an organisation?#because if we think Genocide Is Bad then we should not be afraid to say We Think Genocide Is Bad#and we can also say We Think Antisemitism Is Bad because SHOCK FUCKING HORROR not all Jews represent the State of Israel#in fact basically none of them do#anyway whatever the fuck happened to plain speaking i wanna know#when in history have the faction of Quakers who wanted to never upset anyone been the drivers of change?#wasn't the Quakers going 'obviously we are anti slavery but we shouldn't SAY that in case we upset White People' who we remember positively#they're also changing dates on a lecture Corbyn was due to give in order to avoid accusations of antisemitism#to which i have GOT to ask. 5 months into a genocide and we're STILL giving credence to the idea that criticising Israel is antisemitism?#i will scream until my lungs pop
18 notes · View notes
misspickman · 1 year ago
Text
do we think that back during the timcassie tt03 period cassie told cissie anita and greta about this relatively illadvised relationship*
13 notes · View notes
neverendingford · 9 months ago
Text
.
#tag talk#fuck. I might just be a straight woman.#like. I like men. and the more I transition the more I vibe with binary womanhood.#sure I don't like getting shoved into restrictive femininity. but I vibe with womanhood as separate from femininity.#anyway. I might be straight. and In ten years it's very possible that being trans becomes a much less huge part of my life#because it will stop being something that I do and something that I wish for and simply something that I am#yeah yeah whatever hi my name is Reggie and I like men#I just. as much as I don't like certain restrictive gender roles I find myself slotting very comfortably into others#and I realize that my idea of gender and their roles was very much shaped by my female role models growing up#and a lot of the disconnect and distress when growing up was due to not being able to follow the path everyone else did.#all my girl friends were growing up into women and I was stuck on the man track.#and being gay was the closest I could get to being myself#but I'm closer than I've ever been before to being able to live my truth as myself#still not gonna shave my legs unless it's sometime in the future for a very specific event.#I like them fuzzy. they make me feel cool.#I like having some cultural masculinity still. I just don't want to be defined by it#talking about my binary trans experience is always a little weird because I'm aware of how binary I'm describing things#and I get that if my words were used to describe someone else's experience it might end up sounding hella transphobic#but these words are for me. they're my experience. they're my life not someone else's.#and this is how my identity works.#it's like how feminism protects the right of trad wives to be trad wives.#we just gotta recognize that just because one woman wants to be the designated dishwasher not every woman feels that way.#anyway. I might be dating a guy by this time next week. he's cool so far and we kinda got match-made by a mutual friend#we watched Redline tonight and it's hella good#he's really cool but I feel like I've got something to provide and to bring to the relationship. so we're still on peer-level I think.#which is new. usually I'm way ahead of the other person. maybe my fault for fishing in the bad fish barrel#the emotionally damaged and burdened fish barrel.
3 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
Note
Sohei 🤝 Kazama: Bad dads
who even IS a good dad in this series like who even is a dad that we can all look at and go 'now THATS a good dad right there'
9 notes · View notes
miodiodavinci · 1 year ago
Text
writing out my to-do list for the semester and feeling an overwhelming wave of terrified nausea like ohhhhh this is going to suck so so bad huh
#and i haven't even gotten to writing down the weekly responsibilities of my actual Internship yet#this is just the university and state deadlines ! ! ! !#(and not even all of them because my professors have not released all their due dates yet)#lads i think i am going to be crying and having many a panic attack this spring unless i can forcibly shift myself into a dissociative stat#that craves neither rest nor pleasure nor any other state beyond being hunched over a computer and writing for my life#(face in hands) i'll survive it for sure but. god.#the really frustrating thing is that the department that is supposed to be preparing me for The Big Test has.#created artificial deadlines for each component of The Big Test that. do not include the final component of The Big Test.#they really just said 'oh yeah and fit that last on in there somewhere when you get the chance :)'#'yes we plan for you to be ready to submit the second to last part within days of the submission deadline'#'but just remember to also fit in that last part somewhere'#'during your free time probably lol'#anyway skfdgjkhdf#i'll survive i'll survive#i have survived literally everything the education system has thrown at me thus far and none of it has resulted in physical harm#i am pushing the boundaries of my body's stress tolerance and that means that everything in the future#will be that much less stressful in comparison#just gotta get through it and then i never have to do it again . . . . . . . . . . . . . .#(unless i go back for my masters or something which i will. probably do at some point unfortunately.)#(this user is prone to suffering)
6 notes · View notes
faaun · 5 months ago
Text
ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
17 notes · View notes
movedtodykedvonte · 2 years ago
Note
what would’ve happened if any of the others did find spam back in the city, living on the streets
I like to think it depends who found him. Under cut cause it's a bit long.
If it was just Audi, I feel like he'd take Spam in and keep it between themselves. Audi was the most protective of Spam specifically and openly heartbroken about him being gone. He never recovered as I hc the mannequin is like its stand in cope doll. Audi would fear telling the other's would lead to them having another fight and Spamton running off again or worse them just fully refusing to talk to each other ever again in any capacity.
Audi acts like the two of them can just pretend it's the past and continue where they left off but Spam just isn't the same anymore. He's more paranoid, less trust and less loving than he was before, even when he was getting a swelled head as a big shot he was more caring. It would be nice for a while but it wouldn't last, Spamton wouldn't be able to get over the betryal and the belief it was gonna come crashing down again, especially cause Audi would possibly hide the fact that it just didn't tell the others about him. Maybe Spamton finds out, maybe it freaks him out as he begins to think Audi's part of it too, leaving suddenly and definitely leaving Audi more heartbroken than before. Though I feel like this time Audi mourns the loss better as he now knows Spam has the capacities to survive on his own...
If it was just Vidie I don't things would go so well. The thing with Vidie is it would still be her "Pop" era/persona. It isn't a different personality but a mindset based on bitterness and spite. The difference in the CDAP au is he's had time to cool off and replace that with guilt after the fountain closed and their success as adware didn't matter anymore to their continued existence. Vidie would be boastful and rude, terse in a way she couldn't have been previously as Spam was way out of her bracket as a Big Shot. Probs some inputs on how she's probably doing well enough to support the both of them with ease, a weird/insulting invitation to berate him more at his place and get Spam off the street.
Vidie still cares at this point but it's a bit clouded by envy, he wouldn't want him to suffer more than he clearly has been but she needs to feel like the roles are "fixed". After being insulted I doubt Spam would really want to be near her any longer, seeing his belief they don't care about him really as confirmed and probably mocking how she is still jealous of his past success before again disappearing into a crowd before Vidie could get another barb in. Vide would regret her lack of a filter.
If it was Banner it would go no where. No confrontation or interaction, to be honest, Banner would think they were halucenating. Banner's emotions towards the whole thing are/were very repressed, purposely avoiding thoughts about the fall out and Spam as much as they could despite how it weighed on them. Seeing Spamton, messed up and probably rooting in the garbage, would be seeing her worst fears for him actualized. If Spam saw her he'd possibly run, maybe just quickly get out of dodge as he would be too ashamed and angry to really talk.
Banner would want to follow but be unable to move, still debating if all this repression has finally drove them bonkers. By the time Banner would make a decision, Spamton would be long gone and Banner would pretend it was a guilt induced thing. She'd go outside less after it though...
If it was just Surv I really can't say how that would have gone. Of all the ads, Surv was the one actively looking for Spamton, determined to find him and probably the most worried in the CDAP au when he still wasn't found after the fountain closed. If he hadn't been found who knows how Surv's relationship with the other's would have faired, especially with Banner. Besides that, Surve finding him probably yeileds the best outcome. He's not letting Spamton go again, not so easily. If Spamton runs, he's gonna catch him, if he tries to argue his way out he's gonna listen and take any vitriol, they can work on it later. Surv wants him to be safe and secure and will do anything to have that feeling for Spamton actualized. This of course means it's Spamton's call in Surv's mind if he actually stays with Surv and Banner at all or long term.
I can't imagine at this point Spamton would agree to it, I can't imagine Surv forcing him to do anything but listen to the offer and his apology, whether he accepts either or not. He wouldn't and while Surv can't understand why he'd choose to stay on the street, he wouldn't push it, knowing it would just push Spam further away. He'd buy him a phone, make sure he's set for at least a bit with either supplies or whatever Spam wants and give him his number. Spamton would never pick up but at least it gives Surv hope he's still alive every time the phone calls go through, even if it's only the automated message at the end. Surv would spend more time at in the city and more importantly at home...
Any group combination would result in them forcibly taking him in and trying to figure out what in god's name happened to him and if they could fix it. It would be a lot harder for them to bond and rekindle what they had here than in the current fic because they can visibly see that Spamton has been through something terrible, and he's still actively going through it. He's still a broken little doll with a voice in his head damning his existence and free-will, every second of that is a reminder of how they left him to this fate alone... or at least how he had no one to fall back on when it happened. It's a lot more existential and I feel like they'd all be more at each other's throats for longer cause he's in pain, he blames them and won't/can't say much about it. Spam doesn't want to be there cause he no longer feels safe, loved or respected by them or anyone for that matter.
They can try all they want but it takes longer cause he has to figure out how to heal the way he is and they have to realize that they can't just coddle him to achieve that. It's realizing that things are way more different and having to take them as what they are before finding traces of what they were. Whether it ends with them asking Kris to do the fountain in the end or Spamton running off again really depends on if they can focus on him and not their own feelings for once unlike before. It would just need to play out in this scenario...
Truthfully, I doubt puppet Spamton would be easy to win over as he still is mainly focused on his neo plans. The static and otherworldly knowledge is still prevalent in his brain and it's a block that the other addisons wouldn't easily get through. To me, most healing needs to happen after neo or a case where neo is no longer an option and he is also forced to look for prior choices.
9 notes · View notes
ikyw-t · 1 year ago
Text
I do relate to olivia rodrigo in some ways for example I did have nightmares each week (every day for months) after that phone call in may (march). I fantasize (once every other blue moon) about a time where you're a little fucking sorry. except I do not hold my undying love (there is not even an iota of love, if there ever was) like a grudge and also I will never ever forgive bc you were indeed filled with vitriol. and unfortunately I also cannot let it go. it was six months (three years) of torture. I did NOT love you truly and I cannot laugh at the stupidity. I may have made some real big mistakes but you do indeed make the worst one look fine. like..............
#sorry i know this is cringe and something i should just journal about#ive just had a very shitty day and also kinda week#ive just been tired and lethargic for no clear reason for the past five days and it's very frustrating#bc i have homework due tomorrow that ive barely made any progress on#and i kinda rly need an A in this class to maintain my gpa. so if one bad week means i tank this assignment and get a B in this class#oh dread. unspeakable unsurmountable dread#also i went on a walk in the park w my mom which i haven't done in a bit and i just was unable to stop thinking#about my high school demon of a boyfriend who lives nearby. altho he literally never goes outside i sometimes get rly freaked out#and panicky that i might see him and have to deal with him again. like he did call (AND TEXT?!?🤢) me last march#and i was having nightmares for months after and feeling so paranoid that he might randomly show up at my house one day#bc that's the kind of shit he used to do regularly when we were dating to keep me from breaking up w him#and like ughhhhhhhhhh it just makes me so upset bc he literally would have the audacity.#it's just upsetting. i am soooo nonviolent as a person but when i think of him i suddenly feel not very nonviolent#again my apologies i know this should be journaled about instead. sorry u had to see all this#feel free not to read these tags like this is just for me. apologies.#while im here some other songs that make me think of him include would've could've should've. atw10 but only the terrible parts#uhh better by myself by hey violet is incredibly on the nose#also it's actually just a rly great song. also get out of my life by little hurt. okay im done now.#gonna go find something funny and cute to watch. maybe little witch academia.#sorry if u read all this 😵‍💫
4 notes · View notes
cluescorner · 2 years ago
Text
Bro as a Disabled girly who takes what would normally kill others/is actively harming me as medicine, the Baizhu story quest has destroyed me on an emotional level.
6 notes · View notes
orcelito · 6 months ago
Text
I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.
Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...
I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...
#speculation nation#just kinda remembering again how fickle it all was.#all the compliments... the 'i love you's... nearly 6 months of them...#dropped so suddenly for a days-long infatuation...#ultimately i guess it's for the best that this happened before i got Too deep into it.#unlike my ex from 2020. where i was literally living with him and genuinely contemplating eventual marriage.#the idea was floated vaguely of my recent ex and i living together next year if we were still together by then.#so if she's gonna be so shallow and selfish as to drop me just like that for a new 'love'...#going so far as to say she doesnt actually love me & every time she said it was just automatic impulse...#like. ouch.#adding in the fact that i admitted to her that i struggle with trust and abandonment issues#due to prior experiences with being dropped for being too difficult or having someone choose some1 else over me...#she promised that i was the only one she wanted to actually date... but then turned around out of nowhere and said she wanted to add one#but when i stood my ground and voiced my concern about her daying someone else given the obvious communication issues going on#(aka her standing me up without warning and ignoring me all day. which she said was bc she was too distracted by the person#she's in 'love' with. to the point where i just wasnt even a thought in her mind...)#(though i literally called her when she didnt show up to the time we agreed on. idk how she'd miss it. but oh well.)#anyways i was rightfully worried about it. and Thats when she ignored me again only to say she couldnt see us working out#bc there was no way of her feeling the same way with me that she does with Her...#frankly i think shes blinded by infatuation and is going to regret this later down the line.#throwing a good thing away for a passing fancy who's planning on moving away soon Anyways.#but. well. it's not my problem anymore is it? even if she begged for me back theres no way i would#after the absolute shitshow that's been the past day.#and it sucks bc i really did like her and spending time with her. but im glad it happened now. before i got too deep in it.#i'll give myself time to recover. focus on my interests again. and school.#and in a few months' time maybe i'll join the dating pool again. this time with a better idea of my wants and boundaries.#it really sucks to have 10 exes. it's kind of embarrassing. but with each one im learning more about myself.#in time maybe i'll find the person that's right for me. who wont drop me bc im too much of a hassle or bc someone else is better.#i have worth as a person. im not perfect but plenty of people do like me.#and i'll find the person who wants to stay with me for good. sometime. eventually.
1 note · View note