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thorniest-rose · 4 years ago

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reddie halloween prompt #6 pumpkin

Eddie had lived in denial for a long time. It was a denial that had clung to him since he’d been a little boy. Never letting himself get dirty. Being scared of falling ill. Not letting his eyes linger too much on the handsome men he saw in the pharmacy or at the grocery store. And never letting himself enjoy food. Because food meant gluttony. It meant allergies and intolerances. It meant turning out like his mother, who he watched grow bigger and rounder every year.

He spent years like that, not letting himself enjoy anything. Convincing himself he was so frail that all he could eat were egg whites and leafy greens or the leanest chicken with a plate of boiled vegetables. No gluten. No sugar. Hardly any fats or carbs. For more than 20 years he was as austere as a Puritan. And he told himself it was for the best.

Until Richie, that was. Until they had finally defeated the clown.

Things started to change then. Slowly at first but surely. Eddie left his sham of a marriage; he came out of the closet; he admitted to Richie one night, as the two of them shared a bowl of ice cream by Richie's swimming pool, that he was in love with him. And then, after he let himself try a slice of challah one day at a coffee shop downtown, toasted gently and spread with honey, Eddie let himself fall.

First, Eddie made banana bread using some old, overripe bananas on their kitchen table. Then he baked chewy oatmeal cookies one morning after he’d served up their overnight oats. Before Eddie knew it, he was cooking up a storm: he ordered cookbooks, watched videos, bookmarked blogs. And he started to love the act of cooking. Looked forward to planning out their meals and going grocery shopping. There were fluffy ricotta pancakes in the morning; a cheese and spinach quiche with salad in the afternoon, chicken thighs baked in white wine, olive oil and parmigiano reggiano in the evening. And then, teasingly, a silky mousse or sliver of cheesecake.

Richie, who had the biggest appetite out of anyone Eddie had ever known, scarfed down everything Eddie made as quickly as a dog. He'd been happy to see Eddie enjoy food more and actively encouraged his cooking.

What Eddie hadn't expected was how sexy Richie had found it. How he watched Eddie cook with his blue eyes lit up with some kind of mischief. Sometimes coming up behind him so he could trail his hands over Eddie’s hips as he cooked, snaking a hand around his chest to tweak a nipple through his t-shirt, or to press the flat of his palm to Eddie’s lower stomach in a vaguely territorial touch that had Eddie half-panting as he stirred.

Eddie always kicked Richie out eventually, swatting him away with a wooden spoon or elbowing him in the stomach. But it didn't stop Eddie from growing ruby-cheeked or getting hard in his pants. Something Richie definitely noticed as he chuckled and said, "You feeling okay there, baby?"

Which is probably why he should have seen this coming. Not that he thought it would happen that morning, as he prepared a homemade pumpkin pie for the first time. That he’d end up pushed up against the counter in their spacious, airy kitchen with Richie's jeans shoved down his thighs and his cock balls deep inside Eddie's ass.

The pie looks good. Eddie had completed the crust, and he’s busy with the filling: mixing eggs, spices and fresh pumpkin purée in a bowl. Or at least he was trying to. Because Richie’s cock was nudging his prostate, and every time Eddie tried to focus on what he was doing, Richie would tilt his hips slightly and brush up against his sweet spot.

Richie had spent the whole time cooing into his ear, telling him what a good boy he was, as he stroked Eddie's hips like he was a skittish, easily frightened domestic pet.

The whisk clatters to the counter as Eddie lets out a high-pitched moan.

“I can’t do it,” he says, his head hanging down between his shoulders.

Richie leans in and swipes his tongue against the bare skin at his feverish nape.

“I think you can,” he says. “Come on, baby, you’re doing so well.”

Richie hadn’t fucked him that morning like he usually did, making the excuse that he had an important Zoom meeting. That he had to get ready for some presentation with the big suits about the future of his show. Eddie had said okay, that made sense, but he couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed as Richie kissed him on the cheek and disappeared out the room.

But it turns out this was why. Richie had been saving it for this.

Eddie tries not to moan at how deep Richie is inside him. There’s nothing between them, not even a layer of latex, and it’s almost too much. Richie’s cock is stretching him wide - with a shiver, he can imagine how obscene his hole must look around Richie’s cock - and on each small thrust into him, Eddie can feel Richie’s balls brush against his thighs.

“I hate you,” he mutters as his arms tremble, hands clenched so hard around the edge of the counter that they're porcelain white.

Richie tsks against his neck. “That’s not a very nice thing to say to your finance, is it? When he takes such good care of you.”

Eddie laughs, and it sounds manic. “Is this what you think taking care of me looks like?”

He expects a joke, or a witty retort. Instead what he gets is Richie’s fingers tightening to a bone-bruising grip on his hips. Eddie would cry out, goes to, except Richie shoots out a hand and shoves three thick fingers into Eddie’s mouth, stifling the sound.

With an edge of steel Richie says, “Why don’t you stop talking back and do as you’re told?”

Eddie starts to say “okay”, only he can’t, not with Richie’s fingers in his mouth, how they press down his tongue. So he nods his head as much as he can to get the point across. He’ll make the pie. He’ll be good.

“That's better,” Richie says.

He pushes his fingers deeper into Eddie’s mouth, getting them wet to the knuckle, the force of it making Eddie gag. It feels like a warning. That Eddie better be good because he's not in the mood to play. Then he pulls them out as fast as he’d pushed them in, bringing them back to Eddie's hip.

"Go on then," he says, but this time there's the hint of a laugh in his voice. Like he finds humiliating Eddie like this funny.

Eddie feels winded, the corners of his mouth feel bruised, but he picks up the whisk again and starts swirling the filling. It’s not as fast as he’d usually do it, but it’s the best he can do. Behind him, Richie starts to pick up the pace a little, pulling out and pushing his cock deeper into Eddie’s needy, clenching hole. He hits his prostate again, making him arch back against the tall line of Richie’s body.

“R-Richie, I can’t,” he says, on the verge of dropping the whisk again. Of abandoning the pie and begging Richie to fuck him.

But he knows that won't do.

From behind him Richie says, “Why don’t you shut the fuck up? I thought you could be good? Do you want me to pull out?”

Eddie shakes his head. He doesn't. Even though it was maddening: the torturous, slow push of Richie’s cock inside him, the feeling of his zipper rubbing up against his ass, the drip of precome at the end of Eddie’s dick where he’d grown flushed and hard against the counter. But the thought of Richie pulling out and leaving him there while he went to the bedroom to jerk off was even worse. He has a thought of Richie coming all over their bedsheets, of wasting his come instead of depositing it deep inside Eddie where it belonged, and he almost whines.

“No Richie, I want it so bad, please. Please don’t pull out,” he begs, in a voice he doesn’t even recognise. Something high and wanton. A voice he didn’t even know he could make until Richie laid him down on his bed one night all those months ago and pushed inside him for the first time.

“Beautiful boy,” Richie says sweetly. “Finish it, come on,” he murmurs.

So Eddie does. As Richie continues his slow, tormenting pace, Eddie finishes whisking the filling and lifts the bowl with shaky fingers so he can pour it into the pastry shell. He almost drops it, but manages to right the bowl at the last second. Afterwards he stares at it: the beautiful, flaky, butter pastry crust with its autumnal filling, and that floaty feeling of satisfaction comes over him. He’d done good. He did exactly as Richie told him.

“I’ve done it, Richie,” he sighs, his voice sounding faraway. “I’ve finished the pie.”

He melts when Richie kisses him on the side of his neck, scraping his teeth over his pulse point where it jumps rapidly.

“I knew you could do it, Eddie, I knew you could make me happy.”

And Richie rewards him for it. With one hand he pulls Eddie’s hips back and with the other he pushes Eddie’s cheek down against the counter until Eddie's bent at an obscene angle. At a fuckable angle, Eddie thinks with a shiver. But that’s the last coherent thought he has for a long time because a moment later Richie’s pulling out until just the tip of his dick is spearing Eddie open, and then he does what Eddie’s wanted all this time. He shoves back inside, the squelch of the lube pornographically loud in their quiet kitchen, and he rails him hard, letting that hidden, ferocious side come out.

It’s the hardest fuck Eddie’s had in days, and fuck it feels so good, his ass bouncing off Richie’s sharp hips on every thrust, Richie's cock punching his tiny hole open, and the low-pitched growl coming from Richie’s throat making his dick drool at the tip.

It's something he can't believe he's denied himself for so long.

"I kind of want to eat this pumpkin pie out of you," Richie suddenly says. "Would you let me do that? Just finger it inside of your dumb cunt and then eat it out of you?"

And it shouldn't sound hot. It should sound ridiculous. But it doesn't stop Eddie from crying out or his balls drawing up.

"I'm going to-"

He cuts off on a high whine as Richie reaches around and grabs him in warning.

"You better not. Not until I say."

Eddie nods, and Richie starts fucking him again, hammering his prostate on every push inside him, muttering so filthy it makes Eddie flush all the way down to his chest.

And when Richie finally tells him to come he does, clenching around him until he shoots sticky white all over the counter.

“Good boy,” Richie says as he pulls his cock out to smear the sticky head against the sore skin at his hole, making Eddie quiver. “Now let's go for that money shot. How much do you think you can make Daddy come?"

And Eddie, with gusto, shows him.

#halloween reddie #reddie #reddie drabbles #minors dni #d/s #dom/sub #tw food #tw eating #tw daddy kink #tw food kink #dom richie #sub eddie #tw feminization

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jiminrings · 4 years ago

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I'll show you~ Can I please get a drabble of Yoongi as a roommate? Because I think that'd be an amazing IDEA- like srsly, he'd be the one to tell u to wake him early for his work stuff and then get grumpy in the morning and refuse to even moVE out of the bed and u have to bribe him with something to wake him up for hiS WORK. And he will most likely say "no" to any chores in the house but still do aLL of them nonetheless. aND though he hates hugs on occasions he might even ask for cuddles???

across the living room

pairing: yoongi x y/n

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: you’re yoongi’s alarm clock, he aLWAYS acts that you’d be the bane of his existence, and his cooking actually tastes good if he wakes up early enough for it!!

notes: thank u so much for ur request baby i have nevEr written something so fast ever in my life because i was so :’’)

yoongi isn’t necessarily a bad roommate

of course nOt!!

because bad is relative and everyone has different variations of a bad roomie

he wasn’t messy or anything like that

it’s just the occasional clutter that he’d clean up himself

he isn’t rude either

well okay “rude” is aLSO relative

just because yoongi could be a little condescending most times

like when yOU do the grocery shopping and the first thing he’d do is look through the bags with some certain hums of approval

nice nice you picked the kimchi that wasn’t on sale because it was gonna expire the very next week like what you did with the last time

your picking and judgement for carton eggs are actually improving!!!

yoongi once called you an idiot for not smelling the carton of eggs first and in your defense you were in a hURRY

ok but he do be right they did stink the last time

hmmmm decent snacks

“why did you get this milk? i already told you to buy the other brand!! it has like a difference of three dollars and gOd if you’re short on it then ask me for it”

can that be called rude and condescending <3

or after yoongi’s milk tirade, he then goes picking at the other groceries you’ve gotten

you got less greens this time because if you’re being honest you’re getting sICK of seeing spinach and celery all the damn time

you’re the one who mostly cooks anyways and yoongi still insists that you use them

you could have a bagel for breakfast and hE’D PUT SPINACH ON IT

you’re getting a bit fed up with the color green nowadays so you got more fruits than vegetables!! frozen berries and yogurt are the superior match!!

there’s the “too-sweet diabetes are you trying to kill yourself y/n look at the nutrition fACTS” cereal

the “we have an obsessive amount of chocolate-covered almonds. stop it already. i’ll throw this out i’m not even kidding” almonds

the “why did you buy three boxes they’re all the same thing it’s not even delicious anyway” mozzarella sticks

the “this tastes like cardboard i swear why won’t you just get the individual ingredients that i told you to” cake mix

and of course

the “why did you buy tampons already? napkins, also?? it’s not even your period yet” tam-

wait a minute

... h-hold on

did yoongi really just

you must have froze and he must have noticed too because well that’s a surprise you’re nOt huffing with his digs

“you knOW my cycle???”

he doesn’t really know why it’s such a big deal that he shrugs at your pointless question and just continues piling on the cupboards

“yeah, don’t you?”

b-but

wHAT

“i don’t even tell you wHEN i get my period!! why do you know that??”

“you don’t need to tell me, stupid.”

ok rude

but seconds of all hOW does he know

you can’t even talk about yourself to yoongi or even tell him how your day went because he’s just.,.,.

yoongi could sense the internal meltdown in your head and he just chuckles because you’re entirely clueless

or maybe he’s just extremely observant of you without even noticing

there’s a pile of paper bags that the two of you keep because rECYCLING <3

and he always sees atleast one or two disappearing from the pile when you have your period because you’re nOt just gonna discard it to the communal trash can

you’re not a monster!!!

the snacks go by a little more quickly this time

you’re a little mORE demanding but just a little

like when yoongi has the news on when you eat dinner and you’re side-eyeing him

ok he’s already turned the volume down

you still look irritated at him

“.... y’want me to change the channel?”

lol and you have a zit somewhere on your face that yoongi could point out but he chooses not to

instead he just leaves around his box of pimple patches lying somewhere and you dOn’t scold him for that and you know what

maybe you’ll stick some to your face you deserve it ok

it’s affirmative that you’re rEALLY shocked to how yoongi explained all this to you effortlessly

“i bought them because it was a buy one take one deal :((“

that’s all he could hear from you as you mumble under your breath because now you’re just speechless

wow

your roommate cares about you,,,,

MIN YOONGI CARES ABOUT YOU :D

care may be a little bit of a reach from observing but it’s okay you dOn’t care lol they’re probably synonyms anyway

there’s good days!!!

those are probably your happiest days when yoongi initiates a conversation with you that doesn’t involve him intentionally pissing you off

or when you can make him laugh and he looks like the most adorable being EVER you swear

you tried taking pictures of him but he has a radar for it and he immediately holds out his hand to reach out for your phone and effectively cover him

that’s all you have

pictures with yoongi’s hand on focus and him blurred in the background

adjusting to yoongi’s rhythm always varies because well he dOes vary

there’s days when he completely deadpans at you for no apparent reason at all

or when you just need someone to squeal with!!

like that time you got the highest score at an exam that was claimed to be difficult and you were jumping up and down while trying to shake up yoongi

and he looked annoyed for some reason and him not sharing your sentiment,, probably even hating it,, already put a dampener in your mood :((

or that time you went on an angry monologue of why he won’t contribute to doing the chores and how you do everything

from sweeping the floors and doing the dishes and taking out the trash and even cooking!!!

you even fold the clothes and you can’t even remember how yoongi managed to convince you to fold his clothes too

with that he just pursed his lips before putting his attention back to his phone

“no.”

unbeknownst to you though, yoongi does his share of chores more evidently this time around

most times he just does his part when you’re in your room and lately he’s been slacking

ok i’ll help you out i guess ://

sometimes you just want to do nice things for yoongi okay

there’s already a set routine that you follow and adapated to for his sake

you now wake up at four in the morning for hIM and that just depends if he’d wake up within the next thirty minutes

the first actual “friend” unlike roommate intercation you had was yoongi telling you to go knock on his door early in the morning

absolutely dON’T stop knocking until he wakes up and opens the door

sure his four in the morning compared to you staying in is a much much mUch earlier time

but it’s okay because it’s for yoongi! :D

the first time you did that? yoongi raised his voice at you because wHY ARE YOU KNOCKING ON MY DOOR???

“b-but you told me to!!”

“oh. right. thanks.”

lmao he kinda simmered down after that and you took this job to heart

you have now evolved into cooking breakfast BEFORE knocking on his door

you just care for yoongi perhaps

but you won’t delve into elaborating that just yet

today’s breakfast was waffles!!

but they’re special waffles of course!! kinda like a s’mores situation in between the two

little marshmallows that you put in your ice cream and in your drinks and within two seconds they shrivel up into nothingness

crushed biscuits that resemble graham and maybe it would be easier if you just buy graham crackers itself lol

of cOurse some chocolate chips!!

they’re leftovers from when you decided to buy a big bag of them

and yoongi asked you on wHy the hell did you buy these in this huge quantity

“i’ll melt them because i aLSO got those silicone molds on sale!! including the stars and the seashells!!”

“you do know that these are solid... and you’ll melt them into liquid... only for them to be in the same way you bought them in..... just in a different shape....”

“oh my gOd yoongi just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting!! fine then, i’ll split these with jimin instead”

“did you even ask if i wanted them in the first place???”

anyways besides those waffles lol

you also made dalgona :D instead of yoongi’s preferred dark black coffee :D

you tasted his one time and it tasted like death and liver and charcoal all at the same time

this is a GOOD morning okay??

last night you couldn’t sleep that well because you had a thought

a really, intricate, awe-forming thought

there’s such a thing called work husbands, right??

do apartment husbands exist

lol of course if your husband does live in the same apartment as you do

you’re probably making a reach and yoongi doesn’t care about you in the same way that you do for him

but it just makes you think :((

these things that you’re doing, with and for him....

they’re things that you do with your boyfriend ya know

you’re essentially a couple if you think about it further

you’re under the same roof and you do things together and well

the only thing missing is the aCTUAL commitment itself

this was why it’s a good morning

jimin, your friend that’s just down at the end of the hall, managed to convince you to try and hINT atleast that you like yoongi

to be clear

you’ve only known jimin for three weeks and you feel like you’ve done much more progress with him than you ever did with yoongi for five months

it was when he asked you for your notes and you told him that lol you had nONE and the both of you just laughed for like five minutes straight

yoongi still won’t buy that story no matter how much you tell him that it’s true

with his hunch he thinks you’re actually fuck buddies with jimin because you’ve been sneaking off at night right when he closes his door and tHAT’S when you go to jimin’s room

to be also clear

ok yes you might like yoongi

perhaps a whole ton as what you decide because he’s been effectively plaguing your mind and your senses

and the oNLY reason you’ve been going to jimin’s is to talk to him and freak out on what you should do

because you know that yoongi is a sensible person and if u give him even the slightesy whiff of a hint that you like him, he’ll catch on instantly!!!

at the same time it’s like.... so be it....

yeah if yoongi doesn’t return your feelings then you’ll completely understand

things would be awkward for awhile aha

and if yoongi decides to move out because of you? no problem yOU’RE the one who’s gonna move out and let yoongi keep the apartment

jimin’s roommate is leaving soon anyway

see? you’re already equipped for rejection!!!!

aha that’s not necessarily a bad thing but it IS a heartbreaking concept

but here you are

so whipped to the point that you might just cave and put everything in a tray so you could set it on yoongi’s bed

that does seem to be the case because you’re knocking and knocking and he wON’T answer

this is an important day for him anyways because he gets his evaluation today!! and you can’t have him late and hungry and sad now can you

“yOONGI ARE YOU-“

“god, why do you have to be so loud??”

“i told you-“

wait a second

that voice doesn’t belong to yoongi

and the person in front of you, most certainly, isn’t yoongi.

oh that’s nice

she’s wearing yoongi’s shirt from the night before

you don’t recall someone else being in your apartment because after all, you and yoongi are the only roommates

and that yoongi doesn’t even have any visitors

it takes a second for you to connect the dots at hand

it’s okay :)

it’s cool!

this way you’re already heartbroken without prolonging it and bringing it upon yourself

it was bound to happen anyway

yoongi was more than a handsome and skilled and capable man and someone like him wouldn’t stay single for perhaps forever

“o-oh, sorry. uhm help yourself to breakfast, or uhm go back to bed, i guess. if you could just, w-wake up yoongs? i think he has something important at work today, oR well atleast he told me so.”

holy fuck

that was a mess

you’re a mess

there’s no need for confrontation or researching or anything like that because there is absolutely no reason for it lol

you’re a mere roommate to yoongi and you’re just acting like it.

he finds you weird these days

you’re not... bothering him

you’re not trying to linger around or pester him with your usual presence

you only come out when you’re going out for class or for work or for something else he can’t even imagine

which was weird

because yoongi oddly enough misses the white noise you provide

he knocked at your door yesterday and he wasn’t really sure on what to say so he panicked and said “aren’t you supposed to vacuum today?”

which is actually true!!!!

you just got the vacuum and your..,., earphones???

and put them in????

wait shouldn’t this be the time that you try to talk over the vacuum and ineffectively yell as you try to make conversation with him???

this time you’re just silent and probably enjoying the music that’s playing and yoongi couldn’t be anymore confused

he goes to his room when you vacuum but this time he stayed just because he wanted to test the waters ok

he didn’t put his feet up so you could vacuum underneath

he just got one tap on his calf and he wordlessly complies aND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHY HE DID IT SO EASILY

he was supposed to bicker with you :(((

did he... do something??

well he didn’t forget to take the trash out and made sure not to flood the showers this time

fuck it fine that’s IT

he even cooked dinner tonight and he knocked at your door and those are two rare occurrences in the sAME sentence

“y/n, don’t make me regret doing this.”

that’s an empty threat ok he really just wanted to cook for himself and coincidentially made enough for another portion for you

or atleast that’s what he convinces himself

yoongi reaches the end of his wick and he’s about to look for one of your hairpins and pick at your lock

one thing he hasn’t taken into account is that oh,,, your door’s open

there wasn’t really a reaction when your door creaks but there is one but it’s from hIM

because you’re bundled in your comforter and you look different and that’s when he presses his hand to your forehead and you’re tOO HOT

“why didn’t you tell me that you have a fever??”

there’s no room for him to enunciate him being upset because he’s worriedly getting you things to nurse you back to health ok

there’s the wet towels and the water and the medicine!!!

there’s him checking underneath your comforter and you dOn’t have any socks on so he’s getting that alright

yoongi’s third most-prized possession probably is his gravity blanket he spent a pretty penny on and here he is,,, carrying it over to you so you’d be more comfortable — the food he just made you but maybe he should make some soup for you to easily digest

yoongi just felt pure panic seeing you like this ok

you running a fever and being the complete opposite of bubbly but won’t take shit atleAst 5/7 times from him and would argue with him to hell and back

were you starting to get sick the days before so that’s why you were distant??

or was it the other way around

there’s this utmost feeling of concern looming in yoongi’s chest and he even tried clutching at his chest because what iS this

he almost forgot that you’re sleeping and that you barely talked to him at all despite helping you out of his own accord

“you’re here but you’re not yOu!!!”

god he’s just so frustrated because he isn’t used to this and frankly he’ll never be

yoongi’s chewing on his inner cheek and he knits his brows trying to figure wHAT happened, his index finger poking and tracing at your hand that’s laid snugly on your pillow

“you’re already here but why do i keep missing you?”

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softbiker · 5 years ago

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Steve Rogers Oneshot

Warnings: maybe a bad word or two? I forget, sorry

Summary: If it’s green, it’s healthy. Nobody tell Steve otherwise.

Word count: ~2k (oops my hand slipped)

A/N: This was supposed to be a very short drabble based on a conversation I had with @kentuckybarnes last night...and then I don’t know this happened. Anyways! This is a little gift for @nacho-bucky , who deserves all the extra whip; the story features her character Agent 41, as well as a brief appearance by @kentuckybarnes Agent 28! A “reader” character may or may not make an appearance ;) Enjoy!

He hasn’t said so out loud - not yet - but Steve is really proud of her. She’s been doing really great this time around. Really, really great.

After last year’s health kick ended (sometime around the holidays, even the heroes stop caring), everyone’s diets slid back to a state of normal that was…somewhat shy of their (read: Steve’s) original goals. Sugary cereals and waffles dripping in syrup and butter; everyone having their own pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer; Sam and 41 insisting on an extensive comparison of all available delivery pizza, often side-by-side taste tests that led to multiple pizzas devoured each night.

Steve gave them a warning this time, 4 weeks in advance. It would be hard to jump right in and change their habits on January 1, since they’d be up late partying the night before, and then of course there were the holiday leftovers, etc etc. So he’d give them some time to mentally prepare.

“Mark your calendars, guys,” he warned, eyebrows arched, Captain Six-Pack posed in the community kitchen. “We’re cleaning up this kitchen - starting February 1st.”

A month of healthy eating - but he picked the shortest month, so he was going easy on them, right?

Like before, he had worried a little about their agent with the biggest sweet tooth. Poor thing, 41 had nearly had a breakdown last time, and Steve thought she might hate him forever. It was probably a close call. But she made it through the first time around, and February is only 28 days anyway. Well, 29 this year.

She took it like a champ. Met his announcement with quirked brows and an amused glance in Clint’s direction, but no more wailing and gnashing of teeth than the rest of the team. Bucky had watched them over his steaming mug of coffee, secret smile around his mouth.

“You know,” 28 piped up from across the island. “It might be a good idea to cut back on caffeine, too. It is an addictive substance.”

Bucky’s eyes had twitched, big knuckles flexing as his hand tightened on the mug.

“Come back with a warrant,” he grumbled. 41 giggled behind her hand and patted his shoulder. Steve just rolled his eyes.

Fast forward a few weeks, just over halfway through this little challenge, and he has to admit that she’s really leaned into the healthy lifestyle. More so than last time; in fact, she’s the one in the kitchen, night after night, iPad poised with a healthy recipe from Pinterest. Everything she’s made has been damn good - he always goes back for seconds. And she’s the first to volunteer to go for grocery runs for the team, dashing off to Whole Foods and the farmer’s market, a triumphant return with a beaming smile and arms full of lush, colorful produce.

Feeling accomplished, and not a little proud of his leadership skills, Steve decides they’ve earned a little treat. Just a little one.

Modern coffee and Steve Rogers have struck a deal - he’ll pipe down about price margins and inflation, as long as they continue to deliver strong, kick-you-in-the-teeth flavor. He loves a mean cup of joe, bitingly bitter, with only the occasional splash of milk to soften the harsh taste in his mouth. Coffee was scarce during the war, desperate rationing pared down the drink to little more than brown water, drunk from a helmet while he crouched down next to Buck in a foxhole. He’ll dig a little further in his wallet for something stronger than that.

He’s familiar with the Starbucks down the block from the tower, having stopped in several times after runs with Bucky and Sam; they haven’t been in a while - a part of his health initiative includes less eating out and more making their own food and drinks. But it’s just coffee. And coffee has plenty of health benefits - he was just reading an article this morning about studies on the preventative effects of caffeine in dementia patients. Not that his brain cells are likely to be affected, but still.

Coffee it is.

41’s eyes light up when they walk in the door, a chorus of “Hello!” and “Welcome to Starbucks!” greeting them from behind the bar. She can smell the syrup in the air, blenders whirring double chocolatey chip frappuccinos with extra mocha drizzle and - what did the menu say? A…caramel ribbon crunch? Yum.

Steve Rogers is a purist in terms of coffee. The concept of frappuccinos and white chocolate mochas makes him want to roll his eyes a little. But he doesn’t make the rules - and hey, the people who invented this are raking in profits, so it looks like they’ve got the right idea.

Clint’s got his arms around 41 from behind, his chin propped on top of the beanie he knitted her, both of them swaying a little as they glance over the menu. Steve knows Clint is a coffee-addict, too - he’ll probably order straight espresso. 41 loves her lattes, the sweet-flavored ones of course, but she’s done so well cutting out sugar. He trusts her. She’ll be fine.

It’s just the three of them, with a list of coffee orders to bring back for the team. The cafe doesn’t seem too busy, so he doesn’t feel like an asshole when he shuffles up to the register, pulling up the list on his phone.

“Be with you in just a second, okay?”

His head pops up and he notices her standing there, smiling over her shoulder as she preps a new batch of coffee to brew. He nods, a little smile - “sure” - and slides one hand in his pocket while she finishes. She’s efficient and fast, measuring the grounds into the basket, sliding the urn into place and pressing the right button. He notices the way her hair swings, twisted up into a big butterfly clip at the back of her head, the ends falling like a ponytail, longer strands hanging next to her face.

And then she’s twisting back around and popping up at the register, a nose-scrunching smile and a “What can I get started for you today?”

Blink.

“Um, I’ve got a list-” He fumbles for his phone again. “Sorry, it’s quite a few drinks.”

“Sure, that’s fine,” she nods. Smile still curling up her cheeks - he can’t quite tell if she’s wearing makeup or if that glow is just natural.

“O-okay,” he clears his throat, swipes at the notes app on his phone. “So first, a tall dry cappuccino with an extra shot-”

He gets through Sam, Bucky, Nat, Wanda, and 28’s orders, before sliding his phone back in his pocket, puffing a harsh breath past his lips.

“What else can I get for ya?” The barista leans a hip against the counter, tilting her head, smiling eyes still watching him. There’s just something about that look - like she’s in on a joke and he’s still waiting for the punchline.

“For me…uh,” he shrugs, falling back on a standby. “An Americano, with a little bit of milk and cinnamon, please.”

That makes her smile deepen, and he would really love to be let in on the joke, but she just nods and repeats the drink, tapping the buttons on her screen.

“Okay - anything else?”

“Oh, and whatever they’re having.”

Over his shoulder, he nods Clint and 41 forward, their hands linked as they slide up to the register. With a smile and a quick greeting, Clint goes for a triple shot, double cupped, one Stevia. Pretty standard - whenever he’s not sharing sweets with his sweetheart, Clint tends towards strong flavors. For Christmas, 41 bought him a bag of something called Death Wish coffee - he brewed it all within a week.

When it’s her turn, 41 grins at the girl behind the counter, standard sweet and friendly. She leans close to the register and tilts her eyebrow as she orders.

“I’ll have a spinach milkshake,” she hums. “Venti, please. Oh! With extra whip.”

Spinach milkshake, huh? Steve’s ears prick up, a little bubble of pride floating up in his chest. He knew if she just gave it her best shot, she’d get used to it.

The barista grins back at her, and Steve does not at all notice the dimple in her cheek.

“You got it, girl,” she winks.

Steve pays, leaving a generous tip in the jar by the register, as the girl flits away from the computer to help prep their drinks herself. She smiles and chats with 41 over the espresso machines, her hands wicked fast between steaming milk and pulling espresso, lining up the finished drinks in the little cardboard tray at the end of the bar. Under her apron, she’s wearing a pair of baggy overalls and for a moment a memory sweeps up in him - factory girls and borrowed boots and rolled up sleeves. A victory smile, that’s for sure. Standing next to Clint at the counter, he pretends not to watch.

She’s got the trays loaded up, all except one, and turns around to the counter behind her, pouring cold milk and some kind of green powder into a blender. Must be 41’s drink - she’s busied herself at the counter writing everyone’s names on the tops of their cups, adorned with little hearts. Characteristically cute.

The blender whirs loudly, and as she reaches for a cup and lid the barista meets his eyes over the machines. It startles him, that guilty thump in his ribs, like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t. Her smile stays glued in place as she turns back to the blender, fetching the pitcher and neatly filling the cup with the creamy, green drink, before dropping the pitcher in the sink to rinse. She flips the metal canister in her hand, shaking it a few times, before swirling up a veritable mountain of whipped cream on top.

Steve sighs one of his long-suffering sighs, his eyes flitting up to the ceiling before he catches the look of excitement on 41’s face, already peeling the wrapper from a straw as the pretty barista snaps the plastic lid over the cup. Well…what can some whipped cream really hurt? At least it’s a healthy drink…she called it a ‘spinach milkshake’ and he has no idea what the ingredients would be in that, but the bright green color has him sold on some marginal health benefits. She’s earned a little dollop of cream.

“Here you go, babe,” the barista grins as she hands over the drink to an eager 41, who immediately scoops her finger under the dome lid and pops a little whipped cream into her mouth.

“Mmmm,” she smiles, dreamy. “You did great.”

“Oh, thanks,” the girl laughs back, now wiping down her counters with a rag, cleaning up any of her milk and coffee spills.

“Seriously,” 41 insists, between slurps through her straw. “You’re, like, my new favorite person.”

“Hey, now,” Clint hip-checks her as he reaches around to grab the drink carriers. He offers the barista a smile. “Thanks, kid, it looks great.”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” she insists, sliding away her steaming pitchers and milk jugs.

They’re turning to leave, all drinks accounted for, and the girl gives Steve one last smile as she turns to restock the cups next to the espresso machines. He sips his Americano - good, bold, perfect combination of milk and cinnamon.

“Steve?” 41 is slurping at her…spinach thing, Clint holding the door open with his back, hands occupied with the drink trays. Steve licks his lips.

“Excuse me, miss?” Starbucks employees have their names on their aprons, right? He remembers that being a thing.

She turns back, bright-eyed, expectant.

“Yes, Captain?” The smile twitches at the corners of her mouth. “Anything else I can help you with?”

He opens his mouth, starts to say yes, not surprised she recognized him but willing to hope-

His eyes slide down to the top of her apron, corners adorned with colorful, cute little pins, black name tag fixed to the top left corner. A neat cursive scroll spells the word ‘Fourteen’ in stark white chalk.

Oh.

His mouth shuts.

41 gives an exuberant wave as she grabs his elbow and all but drags him out the door. The grip around his drink tightens when he almost stumbles over her behind him.

“Thanks, see you next time!” 41 grins.

Without breaking his gaze, the barista leans against the counter and winks, waving her fingers at them.

Maybe he should give one of those spinach milkshakes a try.

#steve rogers oneshot #steve rogers imagine #agent 41 #agent 28 #steve rogers fic

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wayward-mikaelson · 4 years ago

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Come Back pt 7

Word Count: 3323

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Characters: Dean, Sam, Cas (Mentioned), and Reader

About: A month after the Reader and Sam slept together, the Reader tries to make it work with Dean who knows something is up but still tries anyways. But all the Reader can think about is Sam. During that time the brothers go on hunting trip and while they hunt the Reader and Sam can’t stop talking. The morning after they comes back, the reader is welcomed by something unexpected.

Warnings: Language, Unplanned Pregnancy, and Fantasizing

A/N: I am taking requests as soon as this next part is over! So send them in!

Tag List: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @squirrelnotsam��

The next month is hard and almost a blur.

As I knew it already, the next morning I wake up feeling just fine. There isn't a shred of guilt or conviction of sleeping with Sam. I lay there in bed thinking about all of it over and over again. The way his hands felt on my bare skin. The way he looked at me when thrusted inside of me. The way our bodies felt against each other. It will forever be embedded into my mind.

I get up and get dressed into something comfortable. When I open the door, there stand Dean in jeans and a t-shirt. The same thing he wore yesterday and what he was wearing while sleeping when I went to peek on him after my 'shower' with Sam.

"Hey," I say catching my breath. "What's up?" My heart races as Dean looks me up and down. I may not feel guilty for having sex with is brother but I surely didn't want him to find out if it isn't through me first. Good thing I got dressed too, Sam let me take his flannel when i saw that my shirt was wet.

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to get a quick breakfast and work on Baby with me this before it gets too hot," He says brushing his hair back. Damn that was hot too.

"Um, sure," I say closing my door behind myself.

"Perfect," Dean smiles and leans in and kisses my cheek. "Let me shower up and we will be on our way. I do wish you could join me though and help me get those hard to reach places." With that he walks away. He probably thinks I'll follow him or that I'll say screw and have sex with im. Not going to happen. One, I had sex with Sam last night. Two, I'm still confused as fuck as to what my feelings for both Winchester brothers are. Finally, three, he must think me stupid or desperate.

I make my way to the kitchen and see Sam already up and dressed and making a smoothie. I have some dirty thoughts about the smoothie and where it all could go so he could lick it all up. If Dean weren't here I would jump onto that real quick, but I remember Sam's words from last night. He's going to wait until I make up my mind.

"Morning," I say standing next to him handing him the spinach.

Sam takes the spinach and smiles. "Morning," He lets his hand brush mine. The movement leaves a trail of goosebumps and a small shiver runs down my spine. "No regerts?" His voice is in a hush tone. "Cause I don't." Sam's takes a step behind me and leans his face down to where I feel his breath on my neck. "In fact, I had a dream where we continued to my room. Sadly, I woke to a hard dick with nowhere to put it in. So I had to take care of myself."

I begin to feel hot and wet. I bite my lip an turn to face Sam whose face is just inches from mine. "I can see how that can be problematic," I whisper as I slowly run my fingertips up his arm. "And no," I then start to trail them down his chest to the waistband of his pants. Sam shifts his legs around. That alone makes me even more wet and the longing for him more urgent. "I don't have any regrets about last night."

Sam senses what I am felling. He lifts his hands and brushes loose strands of hair behind your ear. "Don't get too excited," he whispers. "Unless you want Dean to walk in on us. Cause I can bend you over the counter and get deep inside you."

I smirk and step aside. "You're right," I grab a glass and get some water. "Speaking of Dean, he's taking me to breakfast and we will be working on the impala. To be honest, I don't know how to feel about it."

The rest of the day is a full blown blur. Sam kept busy with some reading while Dean and I worked on the Impala. I have a hard time focusing on helping Dean that I tell Dean that i need to take a break . He offers to come with me and I tell him he should stay and continue on the impala. He nods and continues working.

As I am about to leave Sam spots me. He wonders where I'm going and decides he wants to tag along. I know I should say no because I am actually enjoying my time with Dean and wanted a break to think. How can I think when the younger attractive Winchester is sitting next to me in the car?

Once at the gas station, I go in and tell Sam to just stay put. As I'm grabbing beer and snacks, I see her. The ginger bitch that makes me want throttle her. But I don't because I know I am no better than her. She notices me and stares me up and down. Her look is pure hatred. I ball my fist and move on. She isn't even worth.

Back in the car I pull out the two mini bottles of Captain Morgan and shoot them back. I almost never shoot back straight rum without mixing it. The burn of the alcohol coats my throat and I start to feel the buzz. Sam watches and take the keys from me.

"Hey," I say tossing the bottles in the back.

"Nope," Sam is already out and motioning me to the passenger seat. "I'm not going to let you drive after you just downed those. Are you okay?" He starts the car and before I answer the ginger walks out and I stare at her as she walks away. I envision of me pull her to the back alley behind the gas station and putting the fear of God into her. Sam notices and pulls the car out of the parking lot before I act on my thoughts.

"Do you think I should confront Dean about what he did? Or should I see if he tells me?" I ask once we were on the road. I am starting to feel the effects of the rum. "Or we can pull over and have some really hot sex. I'm pretty felxible."

Sam laughs. "YN," He says. "I am super tempted but I won't. One, you're buzzed and I don't take advantage of buzzed beautiful women. Two, we need to get something you to soak up the alcohol. Finally three, I do think you should confront Dean about it when you're ready and right now, honey, you are not ready."

Sam goes through a drives thru and orders me a giant hamburger and fries. Once I'm done eating it and chugged the water he got, I start to feel better and less buzzed. "Thanks for coming with me," I rest my hand on Sams leg. He takes my hand and holds it there.

"Me too," He says kissing my hand and letting it go.

When we get back to the bunker, Dean has the impala parked up front. He's putting a few bags into the trunk. Dean must have found a case or someone called him about something. This will be perfect time to just stay behind and think.

"Hey, I was wondering where you went," Dean says as Sam gets out of the car.

"Yeah, I insisted on going with YN," Sam says pulling out the three bags. "Good thing too, She decided she just wanted to down two mini bottles of rum."

"Just because?" Dean asks.

"Just because," Sam says. I sigh knowing that Sam has my back.

Sam passes Dean who grabs his arm. "Is that pie?" He points to the bag and looks at me.

"Yep," I make my way and take the bag. "But it looks like you're headed out somewhere so you'll have to wait until you're back to have some fun with it."

Dean rolls his eyes and follows both Sam and I inside. "About that," Dean keeps following the pie. "Jody called and said she thinks that she has a vamp problem and wants some back up."

I nod. "Well in that case, "I hand him the pie. "Share with Jody and the girls. I will be staying back to relax."

Dean closes the gap between the two of us and pulls my face towards his. His lips were soft gentle. "Don't get to freaky while I'm gone," and he walks out the bunker.

Sam is looking at me. "It looks like he's trying." Sam sounds sad but he walks up to you and set the bags on the library table. He runs his hands on the table probably thinking of the night before. "But the look you give says you don't want to."

I shake my head. "I don't know, Sammy," my voice is quiet. "We shared something last night that I never felt with him." I look down and lick my lips thinking back to that spark that I felt with Sam and how safe I felt with him. Dean may make me orgasm two times but, I never felt that spark with him.

"Help me pack a bag," Sam says taking my hand and pulling me to his room. I am extremely confused why he wants me to help him pack a bag but, the moment we get to the doorway of his room, he spins around and pulls me into a soft kiss. Now, I understand. I smile against his lips and then pull away. "I wanted my lips to be the last thing you feel."

The boys left shortly after that.

I spend the next week reading and studying some of ancient books in the bunker. Something that Sam and I had in common. Something Dean and I didn't. When I'm not reading I am baking. I bake a few pies, breads, and muffins. When I'm not baking I am shopping at the local farmers market. Something that Dean would be confused at because I love fast food as well.

When I'm not doing any of those things, I am laying down in my bed either watching a pointless show on Netflix or staring at the ceiling. Thinking of ways to confront Dean about that ginger chick. But nothing good comes from it. Everything I think about leads to an argument or me leaving. But I can't do that to Sam. Not since I'm falling in love with him.

By the end of the week, while I am soaking in an herb bath to relax my muscles, I get a text from Sam. I dry my hands and pick up my phone that is laying on the ground.

Sam: Hey, some good news and bad news. What do you want first?

YN: Bad news.

Sam: We won't be home for at least another week or two. That nest was part of two other nests. One nest is in Michigan and the other is in Illinois. Shouldn't take too long. How are you holding up?

YN: I'm doing well. Just soaking in a nice warm bath.

Sam: If my brother weren't next to me I would ask for a picture.

YN: Oh stop it! I miss you. These books are boring without you here.

Sam: I miss you too, YN. I should probably go, Dean just gave me a side glance. I don't need him getting upset. Especially during a hunt.

YN: If he asks, Tell him I baked some goodies to donate to the nursing home here in town.

Sam: On it.

I set my phone back down on the ground. That wasn't the first time Sam texted during that week. Sam always made sure to check in once a day where as Dean, he barely did so when he tried to sext the other night, I couldn't do it. Nothing he did or said or sent turned me on. But this simple exchange with Sam makes me long for him even more. I can already feel his hands on my skin, trailing it inch by in. It's in this moment that I realize that I am done with Dean Winchester.

Over the next few weeks. I do the same things. I read, I bake to donate to shelters or nursery homes, and go shopping at the farmers market. I text the boys every now and then. They call if they have something they need looked up and they can't do it.

By the end of the third week that they are gone, I start to feel sick. Massive headaches, body aches, extreme tiredness, and then not to mention I'm always hungry. Every morning feels like I've been hit by bus. I even sleep most of the days and snack on crackers and ginger ale. The night that the boys are supposed to return, I text them saying I wasn't feeling well and that they were more than welcome to eating the baked goods I made.

The morning after the boys get back, I wake feeling one hundred perfect. Finally, I think to myself, I beat whatever virus wanted to kill me. I get up and dressed for the day. I am starving as I make my way to the kitchen. I see both boys are awake. Dean is at the stove making eggs and bacon. The smell hits me like a bag of bricks. I feel my stomach turn and in the next minute I am rushing to the bathroom with my hand over my mouth.

"YN," I hear Sam call after me.

I ignore him as I slide into the bathroom on my knees and let whatever wants to come up, out. And it doesn't stop. I am fully aware of Sam coming in and pulling back my hair and just being there. By the time I'm finish, Sam hands me a towel. I lean back and bury my face into the towel.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks rubbing my back. The action feel super nice and I try and focus on that.

"I think so," I mumble into the towel.

I never puke unless I've over done with alcohol. Which I didn't. I am a super light drinker most of the time and these last few weeks I rarely drank. I think long and hard when it hits me. My stomach turns again and I drop the towel and am back to hacking up stomach acid. Sam is back to holding back my hair until I'm done.

"I'm going to shower," I rest a hand on Sams knee when the realization becomes stronger as to why I'm hacking my guys out.

"Okay," Sam rubs my back again. "I'll head out to the store to get you something to help settle your stomach." Sam gets up and walks out the door, closing the door behind him.

I get up as fast as my stomach will let me and turn the shower on. I open the bottom of the sink and dig through my stash of tampons for the hidden tests. I learned with sleeping with Dean that he's really good at convincing me not to use a condom or the pull out method. And me being stupid, never bought birth control either. So far, I never needed a test until now. I rip open the one test I do find and sit back on the toilet. When I'm done, I cap the test and set it on the counter and get into the shower. I need to have proof that I actually showered.

The water feels amazing on my skin and my stomach starts to feel better. I focus on other things than the test I took but I can't. I quickly wash my body and brush my teeth before getting out. I dry off and get dressed. I close my eyes and say a little prayer. Whatever the results are, I will figure it all out.

PREGNANT

The words stare right up at me and I feel a little dizzy. "Okay," I whisper. "It's okay. You know who the father is. You know everything will be alright." There's a knock at the door. You stash the test back into my pants pocket and open the door. It's Dean, he's got a worried look on his face.

"Sam said you were hacking your guts away in here before leaving to get stuff for you," he says. I can detect a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Yeah," I slip on out of the bathroom. "Can we talk before he gets back?" I ask.

Dean and I walk to the library. The test is poking my side and thigh as I walk. We sit at the table I can see that Dean was aware of what I was planning on saying. He was smart like that.

"I cheated on you," He blurts out before I can get a word out. "The night that we got back and found out that the blade the shifter used on you was poisoned and Cas had a hard time healing her, I thought I was going to loose you. So I went to the bar and got drunk and next thing I knew I was walking up next to some ginger. I did it again a few times. Then Cas saw signs of you improving and I felt really guilty. I told Sam and he begged me to tell you but all I wanted to do was forget."

I sat back and with nothing to say. I had this whole thing planned out. Pregnant or not. Dean continues, "I feel you start to pull away after you woke up and I guess you found out. Then that day you went out with Sam to get beer and stuff, I was jealous and started to have some doubt. I started to hope that maybe going hunting with just Sam would fix that and we would be close again but then I saw you guys kiss. That's when I knew I lost you. I'm an Asshole for what I did"

I look down at the table. There is guilt rising up to the surface. I knew in the back of mind I needed to leave the boys. Leave and never return. But about about the baby? I shake my head and pull out the test and sit it in the table. Dean sees it and before he could talk I speak.

"No, you're not the father," I pick up the test and just stare at the big bold words that tell me that I'm going to be sober for nine freaking months.

"When?" Dean doesn't sound upset. Sad but not upset.

"The night that we got back from the burger place. Sam told me about the ginger." I look up at Dean who's nodding. "Then Sam and I had sex." Literally steamy hot shower sex.

"Okay," Dean gets up and storms out of the bunker, slamming the door behind him making me flinch.

The hormones start to make themselves known. The tears start to form in the corner or my eyes. I'm not sad for what happened. I still don't regret that night with Sam. I wipe a few away and notice Sam standing at the bottom of the stairs. He sets the bag in his hand on the table and before he could get to me, I slide the test over to him. He sees it and picks it up.

"Are you sure?" He asks. I hear worry in his voice but I see a glint of happiness his eyes. I nod and wipe a few more tears aside. Why couldn't they stop? Sam walks up to me and pulls me from the chair. He brushes a hair back behind my ears and cups my cheek. "We got this," he says, "Everything will be just fine."

Sam presses his lips to mine. I smile against his lips and knew that he speaks the truth.

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scientificallygay838 · 4 years ago

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TW: Eating disorder, eating disorder relapse, body checks (no nudity, just fat)

Hey guys. I don't typically post text posts, I'm not looking for any help or advice, I honestly just need to vent. So here goes nothing.

My mom has always made comments about my weight, but I didn’t really realize it until I was around 15. I had been told I was a healthy weight, but she always had some snide remark about my weight. Slowly, I began to see myself as fat, all I saw was fat; fat thighs, fat arms, fat stomach, fat, fat, fat. The comment that really pushed me to anorexia was “What the HELL have you been eating to gain so much fucking weight, fatass?!” After that, I forced myself to eat less and less each day and exercise more and more. I went down to two meals, then one, and at my worst I'd go for days without eating much more than a protein bar if that. The most I’d ever eat in one day is 3 tiny meals, usually half of a bagel with cream cheese at 6 for breakfast, a halo orange at 10:30 for my morning snack, a small container of spinach and cherry tomatoes at noon for lunch, a small gala apple at 14:30 for my afternoon snack, and a veggie burger without a bun at 18:00 for dinner. Usually though, I'd just eat a protein bar after my morning run, and just drink water and gatorade, and *maybe* a diet soda. I spent all my time in my room. Instead of sitting around I'd exercise. I’d exercise for an hour, then take a rest break for a half hour, then repeat. I had an extensive workout of 100 jumping jacks, 100 squats, 100 sit ups, 100 crunches, 100 burpees, 100 push ups, 10 30 second planks, and a 2 hour jog. I did this every morning and evening without fail. As time went on, my health had begun to slowly get worse. I was constantly dizzy, tired all the time, my period was gone, had been for months, I was always cold, my head was always pounding, I sometimes woke up with bruises, and I started to pass out during my free time after my workouts. I knew I was not doing well, but I just wanted to be skinny, I wanted to make my mother proud. All I had ever wanted in life at that time was her love and approval, and I was starting to earn it. I ended up getting so bad, I landed myself in an RTF (residential treatment facility) to get help. I went in at 79.3 lbs. I could barely walk, I couldnt even stand up without nearly passing out. I realize now that I was dying. In the beginning, it was hard. A staff had to push me in a wheelchair; I was fed through a tube; I got in quite a few restraints because I tried to rip out my feeding tube. Every time they brought out the tube, I was thrown into a panic attack, sometimes so bad I entirely blacked out and was told I got so violent they had to lock me in the "quiet room" as they called it, until I had calmed down and regained my senses. I wasnt doing well mentally or physically. Even though my body was recovering, my mind was not. Every time I saw the numbers on the scale rise in the first 5 months there, I broke down sobbing uncontrollably. Close to my 6th month there, I had hit 127 lbs. When I saw that number, I didn't cry. I didnt feel anything, actually. I actually felt hopeful, I felt that I'd be able to be happy with my body again. When I met with my therapist, I told her about this, and she was overjoyed. I was finally able to eat at least 2 meals a day without feeling any anxiety or self hatred.

I was in recovery for about a year, but now that's all down the drain. I'm heavily restricting, fasting, counting calories, meal planning, and weighing myself more frequently, exactly how I was when I first developed the disorder. I dont want to get as bad as I once was, but I was happiest with myself at 105, and hopefully, I can get there again, because I honestly miss it. I miss having prominent collarbones, hipbones, ribs, cheekbones, and spine. I miss being able to touch my pinky and thumb around my wrist and still have extra room. I miss having a flat stomach, one that caves in when I lay down, one that I could get a belly button piercing and it actually look good. I miss feeling hot, honestly, I really do. I think the worst part about my ed is that all these people in my life just wanna help and after almost 4 years I can’t even help myself. It’s so much harder to get rid of an eating disorder than most people realize. When I hear stories of people like me being told to just "eat a burger" I get really pissed off. Its not as simple as eating more, you also have to think about the potential anxiety/panic attacks, impulsive exercising, and quite a few other things depending on the person. Honestly, after a while, it becomes so normal that you don’t even realize your disordered eating. The sad thing is, my disorder started developing because of my mother (who I was recently told has both anorexia and bulimia) shoving her own insecurities and self hatred on me, a young, impressionable teen at the time of the initial onset. Anyway, if you've read this far, I appreciate you taking the time to read this long ass post. I love you all, stay safe❤

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hamburgerhelpersotherhand · 5 years ago

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Almost Fate P1

Forty Quinn x Reader

Warnings: Death of a textbook, I wrote a swear and drinking.

Notes: This was requested. Honestly, you can just skip to any of the ~ if you’re not interested in me dragging the story. I like Forty but I also get carried away.

You started your morning off poorly.

For one, your alarm clock had failed to go off. For what reason? You didn’t know. All you did know was that you were late for your class.

You grabbed your bag, stuffed some important-looking papers in and shoved your text book on top of it all. The zipper had become stuck but you continued your rush throughout your dorm-room anyway.

Your legs felt sore as you ran across the campus to reach your classroom. Luck was definitely not on your side as you found the door locked.

You knew this was a risk. Your professor locks the door after attendance because they’re an asshole.

No—no, no... it’s not their fault. This is your fault. You always made it to class by the skin of your teeth; it was about time you’d learn your lesson and, hopefully in the future, realize you have to wake up at a decent time.

With the end of the semester fast approaching and no other classes left in your day, you thought: “I should probably finish my homework.” Having something to hand in next class could help with today’s late incident.

But as you swung your bag over to peer inside, your textbook in-turn swings itself into the nearest and dirtiest puddle you could imagine.

You stand there for a moment as the water seeps into the pages of the textbook.

You just stand there. And stare.

Did that really just happen?

After a moment or so to recollect yourself and calm the fire burning beneath your skin, you grab the textbook like a bear catching some salmon. But, you know, with your very-much-human hands.

Despite it all, you remain calm on the outside. Your heart is racing as you shake the textbook, wanting to get as much water off of it as possible. It’s becoming tedious.

Lucky for you, you know how to remedy this particular situation, so you dump the textbook into the nearest trash bin.

You secure your bag on your shoulder, take a deep breath, and make your way back to your dormitory.

In the room, you find nothing has changed since you rushed out. Your duvet is nowhere in sight, you left scattered papers on the floor, and a pile of dirty shirts sits on the end of your bed.

Oh how you miss the days you lived with your mother.

Beep Beep.

Oh. You’re also pleasantly surprised to find your phone still on your nightstand. Without wasting any more time, you drop your bag and make your way to your phone.

The notification reads:

<F/N>

Meet us at Jerry’s!! @ 7 pm

Jerry’s? What the hell is Jerry’s? You prod your friend a little more, trying to get your hands on an address.

The greatest thing to happen thus far? An instant reply with a place to be. Thank god for that.

A party seems like the best place to get your mind off of things, but you feel hesitant and wonder if studying whatever papers you shoved into your bag seemed like a smarter choice...

Oh well! Seeing your girlfriends is more appealing anyway.

You’re lost.

After the taxi dropped you off at the wrong address, you had to search for it on foot yourself.

You walked around with your phone out, searching for this apartment building... but this street had none.

Did your friend really just give you the wrong address? How could you be so stupid as to not double-check?

Yoink!

Some stranger with a baseball cap decides to run by. They’re fast as they grab your purse along the way and you find yourself spinning before hitting the ground hard. Your phone slips out of your grasp and slides across the pavement.

“HEY!” You shout towards the already disappearing figure. And there goes your keys and wallet.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK! This is fine.

You’re accepting that this just happened, despite how angry you fucking are at this very moment.

You stand up, brush the dirt off your skirt and make your way to your phone.

You regret picking it up because you’re now faced with broken glass and a barely readable screen.

Going home now is ridiculous, but there’s no way you’re rubbing fingers on this device to try and get to this stupid party.

There’s a glowing sign in your vicinity that catches your attention.

You step through the doors of the building with the glowing sign, which so happened to be a very clean looking bar, and made your way to the bartender with a mission.

You pat the wooden counter with your hand. “Do you have a landline I can use?”

“No, sorry.” He replies.

Damn it.

You check your pockets. Or, well... you don’t have pockets, but you do have a secret hiding spot.

Your hand slips into your bra and you find yourself with 2 dollars.

“What can I get with this?” You ask as you sit down at a stool. You’ve clearly never been in a bar before.

The bartender looks you up and down before reluctantly turning around.

“Come here often?” An unfamiliar voice slips into the scene.

You turn your head to the right and smile. “Only when I need to make a call.”

“You don’t have a phone?”

You drop the broken device onto the counter. “Not anymore.”

“I guess that eliminates asking for your number then.” He takes a sip of his drink.

You force a laugh and shake your head. “Funny.”

A glass of water is set in front of you. You can’t help but sigh. Pitiful.

The stranger signals something to the bartender, but you don’t pay it any attention. You’re already taking your glass of water to one of the booths, not forgetting the broken phone.

The stranger finishes his drink with a swig.

The booth is soft and you’re now the most comfortable you’ve been all day.

The water is room temperature, but who really cares anymore? Definitely not you.

“Heyy!” The stranger from before makes his way into your booth. He sets down two identical drinks. “Here’s a drink. Because I’m such a sweetheart, it’s on me.” He’s smiling innocently.

Has this guy ever heard of personal space?

You take a moment to look at him before saying what’s on your mind. “I appreciate the gesture, really. But I don’t even know you.”

“The name’s Forty!” He instantly replies. “Now you have to say your name, as goes a normal greeting.”

“Oh, is that how it works?” You’re being sarcastic now, bordering on playful with your smile.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. I have talked to a lot of people before.” And so is he.

“My name is Y/N.” You look down at the drink in front of you and then back into his eyes.

“I didn’t put anything in it, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He states. “Ask the bartender if you still doubt this pretty face.” Now he’s exaggerating a frown.

You have to admit, he’s got an interesting aura to him and you can’t help but drag your drink closer to yourself.

Forty smiles happily and rests his cheek on his fist.

“So, Y/N. What brings you to this particular bar on this particular night?” He asks.

“Well, Forty. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had.” For this, you’re gonna need a couple more drinks.

Time is going by quickly, but you’re too dissociated with the world around you to notice. Realistically, it was probably only 11 pm at night, but you wouldn’t know.

Forty was fun to talk to. You two chatted it up with some drinks, talking about your day and eventually talking about Forty’s day.

“I started off my morning like any other... rolling off my bed and probably bitching about it.” You couldn’t help but subtly laugh. Forty was the type to appreciate it, though. He made these remarks purposefully. “Then I got myself some—“

“Green juice? That stuff you mentioned liking earlier?” You continue for him.

“Yes, exactly. Wow, we’re already thinking alike.” He gazes at you for a moment before continuing. “Green juice. Yeah, I get myself some green juice to start off. Breakfast was kind of lame, I think I had something with spinach in it.”

You take a sip of your drink as you lazily watch him.

“Then I made my way to the whole foods store as it opened for the day. Without me, the place would totally fall apart.” He’s sounding very confident about his position there. “My sister works there too. She’s like an aspiring chef.”

“That’s cool.” Your head is becoming heavier and heavier as he speaks.

“Then I called my dad, hoping he’d pick up. Took me about 7 tries but he eventually did.” That confidence he had is starting to slip. “Didn’t like the proposal I had for my next project.”

You can tell he’s feeling hurt, but you can barely hold your head up. “It’s gonna be.. okay.” You eventually manage to mumble out.

Forty is watching you intently. He seems perfectly fine, no swaying of the head or sleepiness in his eyes. The only indicator that he’s been drinking is his slightly slurred speech.

Oh! What’s that? That’s a weird feeling. Forty has his hand on your knee, but you only really felt it when it started to slide itself up.

“Y/N.” He’s eyeing you now. “Do you believe in fate?”

You don’t reply. Well, more like you can’t reply. You’ve had one too many drinks and your mouth feels numb.

“I think...” He scoots closer. “I think it’s fate that lead us here.”

“I... don’t know.” You finally reply to his question.

“You don’t have any money, am I right? I mean, you said it yourself, that guy with the baseball cap took your purse.”

You’re being silent again.

Forty takes out folded up money and slides some onto the table. “It’s yours.” He states.

This feels wrong... but you really do need the money, now that your wallet was stolen. Getting yourself a new textbook and phone flips through your mind and taking the money doesn’t feel all that bad anymore. You reach out to pick it up. Before you can, he slides it back to himself.

“Ah, ah. But I want something in return.” He’s got a playful look in his eye and a shit eating grin. You’re feeling uneasy again.

“Kiss me.”

Is that it? You’ve kissed before, it’s hardly your first one... but intimacy means something to you. What does it mean for him?

You force your head up and straighten your back. Your vision blurs for a moment, but that’s hardly important right now. “Okay.”

Forty is still grinning and waiting. None of you pull a move and he can’t help but wander his eyes across you. “Are you going to do it?”

Oh, he expected you to engage? Okay... you can do this.

You lean forward slowly, trying not to stir your brain any more than you already have. He’s very still, only his eyes are moving along with you. One of your hands balances itself onto the table while the other hangs onto the booth’s seat. You’re leaning forward, getting closer.

Forty seems amused by your drunken state and naturally begins to lean in as well.

Your lips softly touch, but not much other happens.

You pull away from him and he happily boops your nose with his finger. “You’re a cute one.”

If your face wasn’t already flushed, it definitely is now.

“Do you need a ride home?” He suddenly asks innocently. “This place closes soon. I have a driver who could bring you home.”

You smile along with him. “That would be nice... Th-Thank you.”

Forty brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face before leaning in and giving you another peck on the lips. You didn’t pull away, so he continued.

You couldn’t quite tell how you felt over the situation, but you let it happen anyway. All you really felt was tired.

He suddenly gets a text message, halting his kisses and checks his phone. “Rides here. Raincheck?”

He wanted to see you again? Oddly enough, despite only meeting him that night, you were flattered and looking forward to it. “That sounds like a plan.”

You both get up and get ready to leave. You were kind enough to bring your empty glasses to the bartender, but Forty had to help you the entire way. Gravity seemed to be working extra hard tonight.

Forty helped you outside as you stumbled around like a child learning to walk. He imitated your awful drunken stance, but you took it lightly.

You both laughed at yourselves on your way to the car.

#forty quinn #forty quinn x reader #you #x reader #reader #fanfiction #love quinn #joe goldberg

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vgdemy · 5 years ago

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@gallagherintro here we f*cking go!

⌠ olivia holt, 22, cis female, she/her ⌡

welcome to gallagher academy, victoria grace demy! originally hailing from metz, france, they were exposed to too much during the protest, and the academy is now in charge of their safe care. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (short blond hair, missoma jewelry, and white nail polish). when it’s the (cancer)’s birthday on 06/20/1997, on the bad nights they request their creamy spinach parmesan orzo from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re safe in witness protection.

here's a timeline-slash-broad strokes biography of vg's life:

vg's mother, a then 19-year-old jeanette beymer, promised her parents she'd go back home to chicago and go to college after spending the summer in france after graduating high school. she never did that. jeanette stayed and worked to support herself, all to live her parisienne dream.

jeanette met vg's father robert wise, a fellow american traveler, at a student bar in lyon, and spent one night together before parting ways. that night they made vg, unbeknownst to either of them. once jeanette realized she was pregnant, robert had already gone back to the us, and jeanette chose not to tell robert of his child. instead, she carried on with her life in france as a single mom-to-be.

this was all a bad idea, of course, considering jeannette's parents insisted she come home, and she refused, as one does. she promised them she'd make it work. not the kind to abandon their daughter, jeannette's parents offered financial support, which gave her mother naming rights—hence victoria grace.

jeanette settled in metz, where life was peaceful and worked 16-hour days to support her little family. thankfully, jeanette had friends (and an elderly, maternal landlady) who helped her raise victoria grace. somehow, jeanette made it all work.

of course, little vg would often ask her mom where her dad is, and the only thing she's ever heard is, "he's just not with our family." for the most part, that worked.

fortunately, a 25-year-old jeanette met a 27-year-old rené demy at a company party where rené was an old friend of a colleague. one thing led to another, and four years later, they were married.

rené formally adopted vg at 16 years old. vg adored her new (and seemingly only) father. he encouraged her to pursue artistic endeavors until she found her place in music. who knew that vg was a songbird?

the warm and happy household cultivated by her parents molded her into a passionate, empathetic, and joy-loving person, even when it's to the detriment of her productivity. but such is the life of a quasi-parisienne-but-also-an-american-girl-next-door, no?

growing up, vg wasn't much of a troublemaker than a girl prioritizing the pursuit of happiness. she was everyone's friend and, often, a fleeting lover. there's no questioning that vg had love to give, and through the years, she could've won a medal running a figurative marathon in search of that someone who could keep her heart. where she thrived in performing and making people smile, she failed in monogamous relationships. terribly. how did her mom make it look so easy?

by her late teens, vg had already labeled herself a lovelorn singer, because with passion comes a dramatic personality, and the only thing keeping her from becoming a chore of a person is her self-awareness. yes, she's bad at love, driving, and basic math, but she's quick-witted, is a fast learner when the topic interests her, and can sing better than anyone within a 25-mile radius (she thinks).

vg's pursuit of happiness couldn't have stopped in france—she would've never let it happen. as much as jeannette didn't want history to repeat itself, after vg graduated, she allowed her to travel all over europe to find whatever it was she was looking for. but once again, unlike her mother, instead of her finding her true love, vg collected sad songs and credit card debt. maybe it was time for a new scene and a new continent altogether.

i'll add more to this absurd novel once i flesh out how she got to where she is now, but for the time being, she followed suit what the other wp kids did that landed them in gallagher.

other information:

she formally goes by grace, and only close friends call her vg. it's a much more fun nickname in france than it is anywhere else.

she learned how to speak english by watching american television growing up, thanks to her nbc-loving mother.

she's visited the us a handful of times over the years. she loves american fast food, and she stands by that no matter what.

her fragrance of choice is le labo another 13, but in the summer, it's lush sikkim girls. they're nearly the same scents, but still.

she's an arachnophobe, stemming from a spider leaping onto her face when she was 7 back in her mom's old apartment. she's thoroughly unimpressed by spider-man as a result.

her first kiss was with a boy named georges when she was 14, which was also the first time she realized boys could be mean because georges permanently avoided her after they kissed.

she's never had a serious, long-term relationship before (despite her fruitful attempts), which led her to develop a minor inferiority complex, which she hides well.

she's good at making fruit bongs. apple bongs, coconut bongs, pineapple bongs—you need to get creative when your friend accidentally breaks your first bong.

she's trying to kick her cigarette smoking habit because she knows it's not doing her voice any favors, but she can't quit because of its convenience. fruit bongs take time to make.

wanted connections:

honest 2 god close friends — because she needs ‘em (chaotic good gang rise up!)

blunt buddies! — because when you’re traumatized you gotta hit that blunt

tutor — i assume she needs one. don’t ask me why (would also be great for her to have someone to pester about gallagher and an enabler because she wants to sneak around and go to places where she shouldn’t, but that can be a separate connection)

enemy — why not? someone hate on vg. as a treat

unrequited crush — let me show you a concrete example of vg’s dummy thot heart by letting her have a crush on you and she gets rejected

uh i don’t want to get presumptuous with romantic relationships because she’s a new girl but if anyone wants to be vg’s affectionate friend/casual hookup/adorable booty call/genuine romantic interest i’m down like chinatown

again, more to be added when i can think of it. also, hmu at my discord: tin#0697 🤍

#gallagher:intro #this is LONG #about

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years ago

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it’s a very, very mad world.

Making a survey because I have no internet access! mixeberryvodka 1) If you had to make a six hour cross-country journey, would you rather take the train, fly or drive? How come? Fly. I don’t do well with long car rides. However, it could be fun if we stopped along the way to see things and whatnot. And I was with a fun group of people. 2) How long do your earphones tend to last before the connection goes and you have to replace them? My earphones last a long time. For the price I sure as hell hope so. 3) If you could dye your hair any colour in the world, assuming it would look perfect with your colouring, what would you pick and why? I’ve been dyeing my hair red for the past 5 years. I plan to keep doing that. 4) Are you a fan of musicals? If you are, what ones have you seen live and which ones would you like to see? Yeah, some. The only one I saw live was The Phantom of the Opera. 5) If money was no object, and you could go on a two-week vacation with one other person, who would you take, where would you go and what would you get upto? I’d take my mom. Ideally, we’d go to a few different places and do as much as we can. I’m not sure where exactly at the moment.

6) Are you someone who needs to have time alone? Yessss, definitely. I need time to myself to just relax, recharge, and do my own thing. Socializing is very draining. I don’t have a social life anymore, but I remember what it’s like. ha. And some people can just be really draining. 7) What’s your opinion on couples who do literally everything together? Are you like that, or is that like one of your worst nightmares? I mean obviously you should spend time together and have things you enjoy doing together, but I think you also need your own time and a life outside of just each other. 8) Have you ever had to give up something you were addicted to? Did you actually succeed? Well, I’m definitely a caffeine addict and I used to drink soda and coffee everyday. However, almost 3 years I stopped drinking soda (apart from the bit I drink whenever I take my medicine because I have to crush pills and soda is the easiest thing for me to take it with). I didn’t have to give up, though. I actually wasn’t even trying to. It honestly just happened for whatever reason. A lot has changed with my appetite and things like that, so I think it has to do with that. 9) Does your favourite food vary depending on your mood or on the time of year or anything? Like I just mentioned, my appetite and eating habits and such has changed a lot these past few years. I go through phases where I’m really into something for awhile. For the past few months it’s been Wingstop. Prior to the self-quarantine really going to effect and now the state lockdown, I was getting it like 4 to 5 times a week. Now I’m just doing once a week. My brother works near one, so whatever day I choose to have it I make sure it’s when my brother has to work since he’s already out that way. 10) Do you know anyone whose views/opinions are the complete opposite of yours? Do you find it hard to get on with them as a result, or can you generally ignore it and find something else to talk about? Yeah, it’s like that with different people on different things. It’s fine, we don’t have heated arguments about it. We express our opinions with each other and we just hear each other out. We can agree to disagree or perhaps something one of us says changes our perspective on something. Or we just don’t talk about it at all. It really depends on what the issue we have opposing views is about. You don’t have to agree with someone on everything. Different views and opinions are interesting. Like I said, it really just depends. Some things are obviously going to be an issue and in those cases it’s just not going to work. 11) Have you ever had to work (or study) with someone that you really didn’t get along with? How did you deal with it (ignoring them, being nice, etc.)? Nah. I didn’t enjoy group projects in general for the most part, but it wasn’t because I didn’t get along with the group. I just found group projects to be more stressful and annoying. 12) Have you ever had any problems with your wisdom teeth, or have they been taken out already? I had them taken out quite awhile ago. 13) Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it? Oh man. I’d have a really hard time losing either my sight, taste, or smell. That would be devastating. 14) Do you ever listen to CDs anymore? I just use Spotify on my phone for music. I haven’t bought or listened to an actual CD in several years. 15) What’s your favourite type of fast food? Is it something you eat a lot or do you try and limit it? I really haven’t been into fast food for the past several months. I used to love it. Some of ya’ll might remember my Taco Bell obsession I had for awhile. :X 16) Do you find your mood changes when you’re hungry or tired? Does eating or sleeping automatically cure your of a bad mood? Hangry is very much a real emotion. Eating or sleeping will help if that’s contributing to my bad mood. However, I’m a moody, irritable person in general, so being hungry or tired isn’t always the reason. It usually isn’t. They certainly can add to it, though. 17) When you see cute animals, do you just wanna pick them up and cuddle them or fuss them? If it’s a doggo. Wild animals can be cute and adorable, but I definitely wouldn’t want to go near them and “fuss them”, ha. 18) What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into? Did you make up with that person or did you end up losing them over it? One that came to mind happened when I was a freshman in high school with my group of friends at the time, but it’s something that I still find myself thinking about now and then. I have regrets regarding that situation. It was so stupid and handled all wrong. I lost an awesome group of friends because it. 19) Do you find yourself using people as footrests and pillows if you’re sat next to them? No. 20) Have you ever gotten really bad travel sickness? Has this put you off travelling or going by certain modes of transport in case it happens again? I don’t do well with long car rides. 21) What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely? 22) If it was a case of prostitution or being evicted from your home, which option would you pick (assuming you’d tried everything else to make money first)? Fortunately, I’d have other options. 23) What would go into your ideal sandwich? Do you eat that often or is a treat for you? I love wheat or white bread with bologna, sharp cheddar cheese, mayo, and spinach or cracked pepper turkey and salami with sharp cheddar cheese and mayo. A pickle and a dipping bowl with olive oil on the side for both. 24) In general do you prefer modern art or more traditional art? Or do you really not care? I can appreciate all different styles. A beautiful piece of art is a beautiful piece of art. 25) If you want (or don’t want) kids, is this something you’ve always known or have you changed your mind as you’ve grown up? I’ve known I didn’t want kids for a long time. 26) Do you believe “once a criminal, always a criminal” or do you think that people can really change and become better? It’s definitely possible. 27) Have you ever read a quote or a poem and really connected with it? Yeah, there’s numerous quotes and lyrics that I relate and connect with. 28) What’s something that really puts you off a person (bad hygiene, whatever)? Are you willing to look past that in order to get to know them properly? Arrogance and ignorance, and no. If you're an asshole, I will not overlook it. I will overlook you. <<< Yes! 29) Are you into piercings and tattoos? If not, do you judge people who are, and vice versa? I’m not into them really, but no I don’t care if other people are. I will say if we’re talking about dating preferences, however, I wouldn’t mind a couple piercings and some tattoos, but I’m really not into a lot of either one. And I’m reallyyyy not into face tatts. 30) What’s your opinion on places like Seaworld? Do you think keeping whales and dolphins in such small enclosures is cruel or a necessary evil? It’s way too cramped and they’re treated terribly. I’ve actually never been into Seaworld ever since I was a kid because I’ve always had this fear of killer whales.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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skinniplease · 6 years ago

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I’m fucking sick

So here’s my story.

When I was 13 my family and I were visiting my family in California (in July). They were all weighing themselves and told me to step on. I was 5’0 tall and the scale read 135 lbs. My step mom exclaimed that I was too heavy and needed to lose weight. I cried myself to sleep that night and starved myself the entire next day. The next night I got drunk. The day after that, I barely ate. The week went on with me barely eating.

When we came home I went vegetarian in some attempt to lose weight. (The moral reasons came after.) I also stopped eating breakfast and lunch and would only eat small amounts at dinner time. Because I was vegetarian, I was able to make my own meals instead of eating my family’s greasy food. Almost everyday I ate a sandwich with smashed avocado and chickpeas in place of mayo with red peppers, spinach, tomatoes, and a vegan jalapeño cheese. I wasn’t vegan at the time but I wanted to cut out some fats so I didn’t eat very much dairy. In two months I went from 135 to 108.

I started school again that September (14 years old). My classmates were shocked at my size. My xs yoga pants were a little baggy. My ex boyfriend asked me if I was sick. Like seriously sick. He thought I had cancer.

I didn’t like looking sick but I did like being skinny. I made it a goal to slowly put some weight on. It took me 6 months to get to 112 lbs and I stayed there for about two years. During this time I still didn’t eat breakfast, I only ate lunch like 2x a week. For dinner I lived off of mac n cheese and blueberry waffles. If I ate too much and felt guilty, I puked. All of my lunch money went to weed, booze, and shrooms (16 years old). Blueberry waffles were my munchies. Then I got caught with weed in my moms house. I got in a lot of trouble and wasn’t allowed to be home alone. I started to eat more fruits which then made me put on more weight but I didn’t try to stop it. I wasn’t happy about it but I just managed it. I maintained 125 for a while. My parents made me go to the gym with them 6 days a week because they wouldn’t leave me at home. I worked out for 1 1/2 hours 6 days a week. 3 days a week I also did an hour long yoga class before my workout. My weight dropped to 118 but I was very toned and thin. I looked great.

When they finally let me be alone after 9 months of being grounded, I started smoking cigarettes. When I didn’t have them, I ate a ton. They curbed my appetite. (My weight went back up to 125.)Every morning before school I made myself an iced coffee and left my house with enough time for me to drive around for 20-30 minutes before school so I could smoke and just relax. That stopped when I totaled my car doing exactly that (17 years old).

I had just started dating my (current) boyfriend a month before. Within a year I gained 30 pounds. I went back to eating meat and we ate A LOT of junk food. In year two I gained another 30 pounds before I really noticed how big I’d gotten. One day I weighed myself and saw I was now 186 lbs. Holy shit how did that happen? That was December of 2017 (19 years old).

I knew I needed to lose weight but I was terrified I’d relapse into my eating disorders so I put it off. Finally after 3 months, I decided I’d try but I knew I needed to be very careful so I didn’t slip. I lost 10 pounds. Then I went to visit my family in Cali again and literally ALL they cooked all two weeks was fried food. I ate everything in moderation but still felt like shit. When I came back home after 16 days, I had gained 6 lbs back. I gave up.

From March to September of 2018 I tried SO many diets. None of them worked well enough for me. All of my friends were encouraging me to lose weight but didn’t understand how dangerous that was, even though I told them all about my past. After failing to lose weight so many times I started to feel like maybe there was something else going on. My thyroid gland was swollen so I started to think maybe it just couldn’t happen for me and gave up. In October I was at my grandparents house and decided to step on the scale. I was 184 lbs. FUCK! Why did I let myself get back here?!

The next two days while I was there I ate around 800 cals and logged them all. The rest of the week, under 600 cals. I couldn’t stand the thought of being that weight anymore so I just gave in. In one week I dropped 6 lbs. It was mostly water weight. After that first week I maintained for 10 days and that really fucked me up. The next week I dropped another 3 lbs and thought my plateau was over. Nope, there it goes again for 7 days. Since then I’ve been losing in 1 lb incriminates every 3-4 days. I now switch up my calorie intake. Monday’s and Tuesday’s I eat around 1,000-1,200 and the rest of the week I eat under 800. Wednesday’s are kinda hard for me for a lot of reasons so I pretty much always go over on Wednesday’s ):

Sunday night of this week I started a fast. I was aiming for 24 hours but by the time I knew it, I was at 36. So I thought I’d try to stretch it to 48. Tuesday morning I woke up in a sweat because I couldn’t figure out how to lie to my boyfriend about not eating that day. We always go out to eat on tuesdays. I spent 6 hours curled in a ball on the couch panicking waiting for him to wake up. Then when we left, he kept asking if I was okay because I wouldn’t make eye contact and I seemed off. I told him I didn’t want to talk about it. I was trying to stop the war in my head about breaking my fast at 40 hours. I felt like such a failure but I knew if I didn’t break it, he’d catch on.

Yesterday, I ate a low calorie breakfast and an hour later binged on a bunch of junk. 15 minutes later I felt like shit about myself and saw a photo of 5 lbs of fat and ran to the bathroom to puke. I don’t want that. Why’d I binge? I ate 800 calories in 10 minutes. Wtf. So I purged until it physically hurt to do it anymore. I’m sure I didn’t get it all though. I felt so much better. About 6 hours later, I had dinner and then binged AGAIN. So I immediately said I was going to take a shower and turned on the water and purged again. I tried to be quiet but I couldn’t so I had to stop halfway through. I feel like shit because I couldn’t even do that right.

When I got out of the shower he asked me “were you coughing up a lung in there?”

“Yeah”

“Yeah every now and then I heard *makes choking noise* and thought dang I hope she’s not getting sick in there”

I couldn’t look him in the eye and I got in bed. I feel so shitty about lying.

Now I’m afraid to eat anywhere other than home in case I feel the urge to throw up. I don’t want to deal with bulimia again. Anorexia is bad enough as it is. My relapse yesterday is really fucking me up. Puking isn’t fun and it doesn’t feel good but it felt good to lose control for a minute and then rid my body of it. It made me feel like I gained back some control.

But now I’m scared to eat anything simply because I don’t want to make myself feel guilty and purge. I don’t know what to do.

Also, it’s pretty fucking sad I’ve been dealing with this off and on and at different extremes since I was 13 years old. I’m fucking 20 now. I thought I recovered in late high school but looking back, I’m not sure I did...

#ana #anorexia #mia #bulimia #eating disorders #ednoz #thinspo #weightloss #binge #purge #restricting #don't binge #anorexic #bulimic

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bubblegumfiles · 6 years ago

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Let’s Begin

It’s May 1, 2019 and I am 15 things that I would rather not be.

Uneducated

Working Part-Time

Financially Poor

In Debt

Anxious

Depressed

Unkempt

Reclusive

Unorganized

Lacking Self-esteem

Monolingual (mostly)

Living in a city I don’t love

Unpublished

Passive

Fat

Today, after work at 3am before I had the chance to change my mind, I decided to try tackling these issues by choosing one thing I felt I had the most control over and the ability to pursue starting immediately. Being fat.

There are many people who struggle with their weight but I feel that I’m one of the more fortunate ones.

Being this large isn’t due to an underlying medical issue (as far as I know)

Being this large hasn’t created a medical issue (diabetes, high blood pressure, etc)

So I figured weight and my health in general would be a good starting point, mostly because I can’t shake the notion that if I try more of a clean eating lifestyle that it would lessen the severity of my anxiety and depression, which would potentially keep my brain from actively encouraging self termination. A good detoxing from the chemical laden foods that I regularly consume could really end up providing, at best, mental relief and at worse, dropped pounds. And let’s face it, that’s definitely a win/win. I probably shouldn’t have stopped taking my medicine and I wouldn’t encourage anyone else to do so, but maybe if this goes well, I won’t need to start again. Or possibly start at a lower dose and only one med.

I’m not a cook and have basically survived off of microwavables and fast food. Fortunately Seeds Of Change foresaw my inability to cook brown rice and created a “fast food” package that helped me to pull off this spur of the moment decision. While my portions were horrible today, I did manage to clock in under the 1,500 calorie recommendation for women attempting to lose weight and I kept it nutritious as far as I can tell. I’m a little concerned about what I’ll eat when I leave work though, since I only got enough food to make it through today. Maybe some spinach leaves to make salad with? I’ll see. I’m going to try to avoid certain foods for now until I can be trusted to keep the intake moderate. I started a list using knowledge that was already floating around in my brain but I plan on researching more to iron of the finer details and come up with something feasible and possible to maintain over time.

I attempted to go to the gym close to the time I’m due at work with the plan to shower and go to work from there. That didn’t pan out because the treadmills were being serviced and were out of order. The original plan was to do 30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 on the weight machines. With all of the cardio machines being out of service I panicked and left the gym, clueless about what to do so close to work time and ended up not exercising at all. I will definitely have to come up with things to do when the gym isn’t accessible. This isn’t a problem I want to have. Maybe walking or jogging in a nearby park? I’ll see how that goes if the machines are down again. I am mildly comforted by the fact that my job requires me to walk around the entire 4-5 hours that I’m there, but I’m not sure if it can count as exercise.

I would like to be proud that I started today, that I jumped in and didn’t give my thoughts time to catch up to me and find a reason to keep pushing it off until tomorrow, but I honestly can’t. Whether it be my mind working against me or there being some truth to the thought that I don’t deserve to praise myself just yet, I don’t know. But I do feel that we collectively tend to celebrate too early, which makes us feel we can take a break or treat ourselves and end up having unnecessary setbacks. I don’t want to celebrate too soon. Even if it is said that the hardest part of anything is getting started, I can’t shake the feeling that with this particular journey, the hardest part is yet to come.

I chose to start this journey on an upswing so I’m not sure what’ll happen when the pendulum shifts in the other direction. If I’m right, though, it won’t be as bad as it usually is and hopefully I’ll have enough momentum to swing back up on the other side.

This is my last ditch effort at staying alive I guess, with a bit of hope that I’ll finally start living. There are so many things to unpack, but I think it’ll be worth it. It has to be.

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hommart · 6 years ago

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14-Day Fast Fat Loss Guide

I recently stopped by the new house of an ol' college buddy to meet his fiance and new baby boy. He's getting married in 5 months time and we had to have a serious chat.

You see, he's gained 25 pounds since birth of his son. He really fell off the wagon. But he's taken the first and most important step by admitting things have to change and so we sat around for over 2 hours in his backyard on a beautiful day and hammered out this plan.

I could have wrote a 5-month plan, but I wanted to fast-track his results - and YOUR results - because research shows people who start losing fat quickly get better long-term fat loss results as well.

So here's your complete 14-day FAST-TRACK guide to fat loss (if you like it, please forward it to a friend or print them off a copy too):

Day 1 - Stop Everything to Plan, Shop, & Prepare This Meal Plan

I hope you're reading this on Sunday, because I want you to plan, shop, and prepare today. If it's Monday, skip your workout and do this instead - its THAT important.

And I don't just mean planning what you are going to eat for dinner. I mean planning what you are going to eat for every meal for the next 2 weeks.

Don't tell me that's too hard. After all, most people with lean physiques stick to a relatively similar diet for 90% of their meals and then enjoy a random cheat/reward meal 10% of the time.

So your schedule might go like this:

Breakfast - 2 eggs, 1 slice rye toast, 1 apple, Green Tea, fish oil

Snack - 1oz raw almonds, 1 pear, Green Tea

Lunch - Grilled chicken/salmon or black bean salad with spinach, onion, peppers, mushrooms, etc., 1 banana or bowl of cherries, 2 cups unsweetened iced tea with lime or lemon

Snack - Unlimited raw vegetables and hummus

Dinner - Protein and vegetables and fruit...so this could be a small piece of steak, chicken, or fish, along with your favorite vegetables, and a bowl of your favorite fruit.

Or it could be the veggie dinner I had last Monday of quinoa with red pepper-cashew sauce and avocado wrapped in kale leaves.

Or it could be wild rice with beans and avocado and salsa.

That schedule won't change much, with the exception of a slight variation in your main course at dinner, right? And then once per week schedule a meal of your favorite food.

Everyone can stick to this plan for 14 days, and this tip alone will help you lose 5-12 pounds of fat in just 2 weeks. And this is also how you'll need to eat for the rest of your life. It's not hard, it just requires a little practice. Keep at it and never, EVER give up.

Alright, so to review, here's your 3-step guide to Day 1.

i) Plan your meals. ii) Shop for the food. iii) Prepare the food (cut everything up, put in the proper trays, cook food if necessary, and get it all packed up for work)

In addition to planning out all of your meals, you must also start keeping a food journal (you could do it online too), because studies show that keeping a food journal will help you lose fat faster.

Next, make sure you do 60 minutes of activity today AND take a "before" photo along with your weight, body fat (if possible), and measurements of your waist, hips, arms, and thighs. Continue to weigh yourself every other day, as research shows that frequent check-ins lead to greater weight loss.

Day 2 - Attend An "Online Fat Loss & Fitness Seminar"

You must set EVERY workout and activity session as an appointment with yourself that you must keep - just like a doctor's visit. Let nothing, except real emergencies, come between you and your workouts.

Today you're going to do a short, burst exercise workout.

Now if you are currently using long, slow, boring cardio to lose f at, stop that bad habit immediately and switch to short, burst workouts.

If you need to learn more about short, burst workouts, go to YouTube and search for interval workouts. While you are there, look up my "Diet vs. Exercise" video series to see why diet is much more effective for fat loss than cardio.

If you are a beginner, please start conservatively. But if you have been working out for a while, the next 3 weeks are your time to step your workouts up a notch.

Day 3 - Write Your Way to Fat Loss

First, you must schedule 60 minutes of easy to moderate activity. I'll talk about that in a second, but you can do anything from a 60 minute walk, a yoga session, a light bodyweight and stretching session, an hour of playing with your kids, or playing an easy game of your favorite sport. Don't go too hard, but stay active.

You must also carve out 30 minutes to sit down and write out 3 short term goals and 3 long term goals. Write down EXACTLY what you want to accomplish in these 14 days. After that, write down what you want to accomplish in the following 90 days.

Once you've done that, you're going to prepare a contract with yourself promising to take the steps necessary to achieve these goals. Sign the contract and review it everyday to keep you on track.

Day 4 - Recruiting Day

Today's another short burst workout. Make sure you are using a professionally designed structured and proven fat loss workout, rather than just "winging it" or using long slow cardio for fat loss.

You'll also spend time today recruiting for these 3 components of your fat loss social support team:

- Nutrition buddy - Workout partner - Fat loss forum accountability buddies

Research shows that recording your nutrition in a food journal and having someone review your meals increases your chance of losing fat.

Another study found that if you workout with a partner who is losing fat, then you'll have a greater chance of losing fat as well.

And finally, a third study found that the more often subjects checked in to an online fat loss forum, the more likely they were to lose a lot of fat.

Get your team together and you'll get more results - faster.

Day 5 - The 60 Minute Solution

Why am I telling you to get 60-minutes of activity on your off days?

Well, to be honest, I do NOT expect you to burn massive amounts of fat with easy, off-day activity.

However, every minute you spend moving, you are NOT snacking! I know the biggest problem you will have is your diet. So instead of snacking in front of the computer or TV, spend your free time away from food. That's the simple secret to the 60 minute solution.

So get 60 minutes of activity on Day 5.

Day 6 - The Challenge

Your 3rd workout needs to be a challenge workout so that you can improve your performance each week. In fact, you should set at least one personal best in each workout. If you improve your performance, your physique will improve as well.

Day 7 - Diet Check-In and Reward Meal

Congratulations, you've made it through 7 amazing days of fat burning. Today you're going to double check your nutrition plan by reviewing your food journal.

If you haven't already done so, eliminate all liquid calories and replace with water and Green Tea.

If you need to learn more about nutrition, start using the free service called Fitday.com. It will help you track your calories.

And if you're really struggling to avoid night eating, try this tip. Place a small mirror on your fridge door. Research shows that subjects consumed fewer calories when they did this because it will remind you to make smarter choices.

Finally, as a reward for all of your hard work, you can treat yourself to your favorite meal. But that doesn't mean gorging. It simply means having a normal meal of your favorite foods to give you a mental break from your plan. When the meal is over, don't go back for seconds. Get right back on the 14-day plan instead.

Days 7 & 8 are also 60 minute off-day activity days.

Day 8 - Review your goals.

It's no good to write your goals down and then forget them. Review them at least weekly, if not daily. Heck, carry them around in your pocket and look at them at every meal.

As you workout, visualize yourself reaching your goals. Believe in yourself, keep a positive attitude, stay motivated and you'll continue to make fast fat loss progress every day.

This will also be another great day to plan, shop, and prepare.

Day 9 - Take It to Another Level

Week one was great, but with only 5 days left it is time for you to step it up again. This time I want you to hire a trainer for just one session to make sure you are doing all the exercises correctly and training as hard as you can (safely, of course).

Add this trainer to your support team. And by the way, a good trainer should be able to estimate your body fat better than any of those "fat scales" you can buy at a store...so get them to check that too.

Day 10 - Plan Your Next Shopping Trip

Today is another 60 minutes of off-day activity, and you'll also work on improving your nutrition even more. What I want you to do is focus on eating more from the Fat Loss Foundation.

The 3 components of my Simple Nutrition Fat Loss Foundation are raw fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Research shows that eating more of these 3 foods will help you lose weight better than a diet that is low in fruits, vegetables and nuts.

Make an effort to eat one new fruit, vegetable, and nut each week during your between meal snacks.

If you aren't already eating grapefruit, try one today and see how it helps fill you up (because it contains a lot of soluble fiber called pectin). Add a new vegetable - such as broccoli, cauliflower, or asparagus - to your dinner. And try walnuts or pecans instead of almonds at your morning break.

Slowly but surely increase the fiber in your diet until you hit the recommended amount of 35 grams per day.

And I hope this goes without saying, but you should have eliminated all foods that contain added sugar. That is one the simplest yet most effective nutrition changes you can make.

Day 11 - Recruit Again

Add a new member into your social support team, such as a new workout partner or healthy-eating partner. This will add strength to your commitment. If possible, join a transformation contest online, or start one among your friends or co-workers.

But when you do that, keep in mind that you want to help other people succeed. The more you can help others lose fat, the more you will help yourself as you share what's working with your friends and they show you their fat loss secrets too. Stay positive, and you'll build a powerful fat loss team.

Today is also another fat loss workout day, so give it your best.

Day 12 - Check-In Time

Today you'll re-measure your weight, body fat, and measurements. Take a look in the mirror to compare yourself against your before photo to see big changes that will motivate you to stay strong.

I also want you to start thinking about getting a tan. Yes, I said getting a tan. Why? Because simply adding a little bit of color to your body can make you look leaner. There's a reason all those models in supplement ads are tanned, you know.

Finally, if there is a "big day" at the end of the 14-days, make sure you try on the outfit you are going to wear to double-check that it is going to look great on you.

Make sure you do this check-in either before your 60 minutes of activity or a few hours after so that exercise does not mess-up the numbers.

Day 13 - Mental Performance Review

Write down all obstacles that are still in your way of success, and then brainstorm 2 solutions to overcome each. Get some help from your social support team on this. The more you and your team share solutions, the more fat you - and everyone else - will lose.

For example, you might come up with rules like, "No eating in the car" to help cut down on bad food choices. Someone else might suggest "brush your teeth after dinner to avoid night-time snacking". Those are simple yet powerful tips to keep you on the fast-track to fat loss.

Follow up this positive session with your best TT workout yet!

Day 14 - Review, Plan, & Prepare

Congrats on making so many powerful changes in just 2 short weeks.

By now, you'll probably have lost 5-12 pounds of fat and just as importantly, you'll have developed proven, life-long fat burning habits that will be easy for you to stick to forever.

Keep this weight loss train moving by reviewing your original goals. Next, do your planning, shopping, and preparing for another week, and get ready for even more fat loss.

Enjoy your 14-day results and celebrate with a reward meal (and show off your firmer, leaner body at the big event too!).

Wishing you success!

Please email me with your success story in 14 days (or sooner!).

Craig Ballantyne is a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist and writes for Men's Health and Oxygen magazines. His trademarked Turbulence Training for Fat Loss have helped thousands of men and women with weight loss and fat burning in less than 45 minutes three times per week. Turbulence Training for Fat Loss workouts help you burn fat without long, slow cardio sessions or fancy equipment. Craig's bodyweight workouts for fat loss help you lose fat without any equipment at all.

You have permission to publish this article in your web sites, ezines or electronic publication, as long as the piece is used in its entirety including the resource box, all hyperlinks (HTML clickable) and references and copyright info.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Craig_Ballantyne/23799

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14-Day Fast Fat Loss Guide fast fat loss, fat loss via 1verybetterof http://bit.ly/2rOYsxj

#fast fat loss #fat loss

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healthwomeninfo · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on Health Womens

New Post has been published on http://health-womens.com/troubled-by-cellulite-try-these-expert-tips-11/

Troubled By Cellulite? Try These Expert Tips!

youtube

Many look for ways to get rid of their cellulite and aren’t sure where to start. Read on for smart tips that will help you can do about cellulite.

If you’re having a hard time ridding your body of cellulite, cardio exercise might help you. If you’re exercising and focus on cellulite areas with some cardiovascular moves, you are going to notice a difference as time goes on. Try aerobic exercise to get rid of cellulite in problem areas.

TIP! Try doing cardio to get rid of cellulite. If you incorporate cardio exercises into your exercise plan and target your trouble spots that have cellulite, then noticeable results will appear in no time.

Exercising and targeting the areas most impacted by cellulite can help you see results later on. Try to bike or run to get rid of cellulite on the buttocks, thighs, and thighs rid of all the unwanted cellulite.

Diet may be the key to losing your cellulite. Make sure that you eat a lot of veggies and vegetables. These foods impart an alkaline ash which help you rid your skin looks. Juicing is a great way to get the amount of fruits and vegetables that you need.

Improving your diet can help eliminate the appearance of cellulite. Eat lots of fresh produce. They leave behind an alkaline ash that will help you to start looking your best. Juicing is a fun way to meet the daily serving you need.

Green Tea

Green tea is also great option to battle cellulite. Green tea contains some helpful ingredients that help your body in breaking down fatty pockets. This will mean that you will have less cellulite. You could also use green tea in capsule form to make it more potent.

Plastic surgery should only be a last resort for getting rid of your cellulite. It can be dangerous, though. You should get surgery only if you have seen no improvement from everything else you have tried.

TIP! If nothing helps your cellulite, consider plastic surgery as a last and final resort. It is dangerous and there are much safer ways to reduce the appearance of cellulite.

Plastic surgery should only be a last resort for getting rid of cellulite.It can be unsafe and there are plenty of safer ways to reduce how much you can see your cellulite. You should only get surgery if you’ve attempted all the things you could think of and haven’t had any luck.

Try not to get stressed out. Stress can be a big contributor to cellulite. Do some yoga or meditate to relieve stress.Go for lengthy walks that are long and relaxing. Find a stress reliever that’s right for you, then get enough sleep nightly.

Eat healthy foods, omega-3 oils and drink a lot of water during the day. Why is this so important? Hydrated bodies show less dimpling. When your body is properly hydrated, your skin “plumps” making those dimples harder to see. It’s a simple way to get rid of cellulite.

Water can help when you want to fight cellulite. Your skin becomes more supple when you drink a result.

You must understand that cellulite alone does not unhealthy weight or lazy just because you have cellulite. Most women, even famous people, and you can’t really do too much to rid yourself of it. Don’t make yourself feel bad if you have a condition that most women deal with.

Pay attention to your diet when fighting cellulite. Foods rich in lecithin help diminish cellulite. Spinach, peanuts and lettuce are examples of foods with a lot of lecithin. Do not eat fast foods and junk foods during the day.

TIP! Eating proper nutrition can greatly prevent and reduce cellulite. Foods with lecithin can bust cellulite particularly well.

You can hide the cellulite you already have by tanning. Tanning won’t remove cellulite, but it minimizes the appearance of it. Although exposing yourself to the sun is not ideal, a self-tanning cream or spray tan can be effective.Just pay close attention to these products and know how you’re going to be applying the product.

Are you looking for long-lasting results that may actually help your cellulite? A massage can make things look tight like they once did before you dealt with cellulite. Whether you ask your significant other to give you a massage or you go visit a spa, the results will last for a while.

You need to keep your stress levels under control. Stress is one of the factors that can cause cellulite. Cortisol is a result of stress, which means your body stores more fat than it should. It also makes your skin thinner. Consider meditation or yoga. Take a walk around the block. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it is something that you enjoy and helps you relax.

There are cellulite-targeting creams available for purchase that minimize the number of dimpling. Nivea and various other companies sell products available.

Try to massage if you have trouble areas. If you are able to massage your cellulite areas a few times daily, it can start to decrease.

Make your own anti-cellulite cream using brown sugar, olive oil, and coffee grounds. First, oil your skin up, then lather on the coffee and sugar. Scrub and massage this in a bit before rinsing it off using warm water. This will moisturize and help prevent cellulite.

TIP! Build your very own cream with natural ingredients like coffee grounds, brown sugar and olive oil. First, oil up your skin, then apply the sugar and coffee on top.

If you have a cellulite problem, consider how much salt goes into your diet. Look for salt that has reduced sodium, or better yet try sea salt. It actually tastes even better than the real thing!

You probably now know that it requires solid information and useful advice to begin a winning battle against cellulite. You do not need to put up with cellulite and let it take over. Use the information above to prevent and eliminate cellulite.

You must understand that cellulite alone does not necessarily evidence an unhealthy weight or lifestyle. Most women, including celebrities, have cellulite. Don’t feel unattractive for an issue that many struggle with.

#green tea #Cellulite

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adventureswithtyntyn · 6 years ago

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****25 mile week****

I’m just over here chipping away at these miles! This injury is weird it flares up at random times. Some days weights feel good, other time they feel horrible. Sometimes I can run without tingling & other times it’s so present. BUT we had some small victories this week. In the past I hadn’t been able to do this one piriformis stretch because my left side was so tight & muscles would spasm. But this week I was able to! I also was able to run 7 miles, run a tempo run & walk 25,000-31,000 steps a day! So I count those as victories:) it’s September & im just going to continue putting in work this week. I’m trying to focus on more strength & cross training this week. This week is crazy busy, so it’s definitely going to be hard to fit everything in, but I’m making it a priority.

9/1-(strength) Ah it’s the first day of September! I slept like a baby last night 🤩 It was so nice to be in my room again! Then I woke up & it was really gross out, but I wanted to go to my gym at home so my mom & I quickly made our way there in the rain. Before the gym I had a baby yogurt bowl for breakfast that was basically just cereal.

Anyway I had planned to do strength & then swim for a little BUT guess what?! We got to the gym & swim team was going on & we were in a bit of a rush😂 So no swimming today, I’ll just have to come back tomorrow! Anyway I did a 40 minute strength workout. I know I didn’t take a complete rest day this week, because I moved my schedule all around & I really wanted to get a strength workout in. I did take today off running though so that’s something😂 Anyway I did 20 minutes of weights for my arms, 20 minutes of lower body/core & then inclined walking for 1 mile. I felt a lot better today than yesterday when I attempted strength. It just goes to show you that sometimes switching your workout around is better. As for tingling I actually felt pretty good during this workout. I was even able to do some squats! Post workout we had about 15 minutes at home before my haircut😂 So I legit just changed, ate a rice cake with yogurt & we drove to the haircut place.

When I got home I made a smoothie bowl & ate more cereal. Since there’s different types of cereal at home I just had to eat basically four servings of it todah😂 I need to stop tbh. I am fully addicted to cereal. Anyway my smoothie had berries, yogurt & spinach in it! It was quite good. Then I read my book because I never get time to read. So sometimes it’s nice to just lay in bed and read :) Then I went on a long walk (while listening to Sara Bareilles) because I basically sat for most of the day. Then my family came over for a birthday dinner celebration! We had all my favorite foods for dinner! Chicken Parmesan, salad, corn & pasta!!

For my birthday desert we had cake & fro yoooo! It was so good, but I got so full real fast. I totally overate tonight at my family birthday dinner. This always happens at our family dinner😂 Like it’s bad I have a total food baby & feel pretty sick right now. These things happen. There ended up being a horrible storm at night so I didn’t sleep good at all. I also had really bad heart buRn:( So eating all those foods really wasn’t good for me...

Snacks: rice cake with yogurt & berries, chips & salsa, desert

Today I’m thankful for my family & a new decade

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sizzlingpenguincollector · 6 years ago

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Fear Factor: Season 3: Episode 1: Part 2

In a dark, wooded area, our four remaining contestants walked the path, knowing the second stunt will have to involve something mental or nasty. "I pretty confident with whatever they might throw at me. I don't really care if I have to be covered in bugs or eat them." Nazz said.

"There is nothing that can gross me out or scare me. I know we might have to eat something gross. If it's part of a animal or a whole bug, I'll eat it for 50 grand." Daphne said.

"I'm usually a picky eater. I don't really like spinach. But I'll eat whatever I can to move onto the next round. I just wish Daphne won't trash talk so much like she did yesterday." Timmy said.

"I think my biggest threat has to be Timmy. We're basically the same age and he did really good with the first stunt. I'm not worried about eating anything. I can handle it." Todd said.

They made their way to Joe, sitting near a roaring camp fire, roasting a hot dog. "How are you guys doing?" Joe asked them.

"Good." They all replied.

"What's with the hot dog?" Nazz asked.

"Good question Nazz. Obviously, we're going to have a little wienie roast." The kids smiled. They ate hot dogs all the time. But, as always on Fear Factor, there's a catch. "But, we're gonna do this Fear Factor style."

"You mean we're not gonna eat hot dogs?" Todd asked.

"No." Joe put the hot dog away. "You'll gonna be eating one of these." He then pulled out a plate containing the different kind of wienies. They were all grossed out by them.

"Eww...What are those?" Nazz asked.

"Those are the real penises of a Elk, Deer, Water Buffalo, and Bull." Joe explained. "We're gonna play a little matching game." He then showed an array of rocks. "You're gonna flip over these rocks. They each have the animal of the penises. Say, if you match two water buffaloes, that's the penis you'll have to eat. You'll have 5 minutes to eat the deer and elk, ten minutes for the water buffalo and bull."

"Can we have marshmallows after we do this?" Daphne asked.

"Actually, yes. But if you throw up, not eat it fast enough, or you're too afraid to do this, you'll be eliminated. One more thing, I can not tell you which one tastes better or worse." Joe said. "We have randomly selected who gets to go first and Timmy, you are lucky number one."

"Just to be clear, I'm sort of a picky eater. But, I'll try this." Timmy said.

"Well, alright. Let's mix these up." Joe then mixed the rocks around. "Alright. Flip them one at a time." Timmy flipped one rock. "That's a deer." He then flipped another rock. "Bull."

"I do not want the bull!" Timmy said as he flipped over another rock.

"Elk." Joe said. Timmy then flipped over another rock and frowned as he looked at it. "Two bulls."

"Oh well. Bring it to me."

Joe then puts the bull penis on the roasting stick. "Alright Timmy. Just roast it over the fire." Timmy started roasting his weenie. He then puts it on a plate. "Alright. You have ten minutes to eat the bull penis."

"Can he just shove it down?" Todd asked.

"Trust me. You do not want to underestimate the time it takes to eat something disgusting." Joe replied.

Timmy took one look at his weenie. "Well, I guess I lived a full life." He then took one small bite. To Timmy's surprise, it actually tasted good. "Hey! This is not half bad!" He then took another bite. He made it look easy.

"EWW!" The other players and Joe said. How could a ten year old boy like it?

"This is so sick!" Todd said as Timmy was halfway through his penis.

Joe just laughed. "Ladies and dudes, I wanna welcome you all to the bottom of the barrel!"

"How can he even taste it?" Daphne asked.

Timmy was clearly enjoying his weenie. With one last bite, he knew he was in for the final day.

"Alright. Nice job Timmy. You're in for tomorrow." Joe said.

"I just want to apologize to most of my friends and animal lovers back at Dimmsdale." Timmy said.

"It's cool. I'm sure they'll understand." Joe said. "So Nazz, it's your turn. You ready?"

"I guess so." Nazz said with a nervous smile.

"OK. Let's mix them up." Joe then mixed up the rocks.

"I hope you get the water buffalo, Blondie." Daphne said.

"Daphne. You still trash talking? You got rid of Francine. Now Nazz?"

"Please be a deer." Nazz hoped as she flipped over the first rock and breathed a sigh of relief as she saw a deer. She then flipped over another rock.

"Two deers! Here we go!" Joe put the deer penis on the stick and handed it to Nazz. "Get it nice and hot." Nazz roasted her weenie over the fire. "OK. You have 5 minutes to eat your deer penis. Good luck."

"Well, here goes nothing." Nazz said as she took a bite.

"It's so nasty, isn't it?" Daphne taunted. "You can feel yourself gagging."

"Don't listen to her Nazz!" Todd said.

"That's right. Just push through. Big bites." Joe encouraged.

Daphne was still trying to taunt her, but despite that, Nazz finished her deer weenie in the allotted 5 minutes. "Nice job Nazz. You're in for tomorrow. And Daphne, what goes around comes around. You ready?"

"Before I do this, Scooby, please forgive me. This has nothing to do with you." Daphne said to the camera as Joe shuffled the rocks. Daphne flipped a rock and got a water buffalo. Then, she flipped over another and got an elk.

"Daphne, have you ever heard of Karma?" Joe taunted. Daphne held her breath as she flipped over another rock and frowned as she saw the result. "Water buffalo! Daphne, I heard you got bad gag reflexes. So, not good for you."

Daphne then turned white. She knew if she didn't eat her weenie in 10 minutes, she would be going home. "Let's just get it over with."

"OK. Roast it." Joe handed Daphne the stick with the buffalo penis so she could roast it. After getting it hot, Daphne set it on a plate. "OK. You have 10 minutes to eat your water buffalo penis. If you spit it up, you must put it back in or you'll be eliminated. Go."

Daphne started eating her weenie but felt herself gagging with each bit. "Ha! Feels good, don't it?" Todd taunted.

"Don't listen to them." Joe encouraged. "If you need to vomit..." Joe then pulled out a bucket. "We have the Fear Factor chuck bucket."

Timmy looked at Daphne's eyes. "She's crying." Timmy taunted as he saw tears streaming down Daphne's face.

Despite everyone's taunts, Daphne did the best she could and slowly ate her weenie. "Come on! Push through. You got five minutes!" Joe said.

Daphne was almost done with her weenie when she felt herself ready to throw up. Luckily, she swallowed the last of it. "I'm done! I'm done!" Daphne yelled.

"Man Daphne, you were trash talking Nazz and Francine. And you were almost ready to throw up. Karma sucks, doesn't it?"

"You know what? It doesn't matter. I did it. And now I'm through for tomorrow!"

"Alright Todd, since we got an elk left, you have no choice."

"Let's get it over with." Todd said as Joe handed him his weenie.

"Alright. Get it nice and hot." Todd roasted his weenie.

"Come on dude. Surely it'll taste as good as the bull." Timmy said.

Todd looked at his elk penis. "I lived a good life." Todd took a bite and smiled. "It tastes like chicken."

Daphne and Nazz gagged at that. "You sure know how to kill a mood, brat." Joe commented.

Todd was halfway done with his weenie. "See? It's not that bad." Timmy said.

Todd took one more bite and swallowed. "Done." Todd said.

"Man...How did that taste?" Joe said, impressed.

"Well to be honest, it was like goo. You know, like lard. Luckily I was able to get it down. It was actually pretty tasty though." Todd said.

"Can we have those marshmallows now?" Nazz asked.

Joe handed them sticks with marshmallows on them. "Here you go. You earned them. And you all move on to the final day. And are responisble for making 10 million people watching at home. As soon as you're done with your marshmallows, we'll get out of here and see what tomorrow has in store for you."

The kids savored their marshmallows, not knowing what the final day had in store for them.

#fear factor #cartoon #scooby doo #ed edd n eddy #the fairly oddparents #the replacements

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