#when adolins like 12 and renarins like 8

[isdalinarhot]

fic idea. ive started writing it but i wanna make sure i can commit to it before posting it anywhere. basically the gist of it is. sadeas dies and then immediately afterward goes back in time to blackthorn days after he and dalinar hook up for the first time. and he has all his memories of the last 50 years but he is in the body of himself as an 18 year old and so hes like i can use this foreknowledge to assassinate dalinar once alethkar is unified. hehehehe #schemes. anyway dalinar is like haha we should get married and sadeas, seeing a perfect opportunity to get close to him to Fucking Kill Him, is like yeah actually we Should get married. And So They Get Married

and then the rest of the fic is. well from sadeas's perspective hes finding more depths to dalinar than he first percieved due to being around him in contexts other than Battle and Bar and Sex and like, keeps on making excuses for himself as to why hes not fucking assassinating dalinar and hes like almighty fucking storm it im going soft. and he is dragged kicking and screaming onto dalinar's side for most dalinar things. maybe he falls in love i havent decided yet how im gonna do that in a way that feels natural and in character to sadeas. meanwhile dalinar (a romantic at heart) is living in domestic murdery matrimonial bliss and is like im so lucky :) like he is living out the typical fluff slowburn fanfic life in between the guilt complexes and the addictions and all that nonsense but sadeas keeps on finding himself in increasingly soft fluffy domestic circumstances and is internally like ????? WHAT IS HAPPENING ????????????

and it would alternate chapters between sadeas pov and dalinar pov and the dalinar pov chapters are all like wow i love my husband 🥰 fluff schlock and the sadeas pov chapters are sadeas slowly going through de-piece-of-shit-ification over the course of thirty years while absolutely confused about it the whole time

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters in the Hunger Games

As requested by @sweetteaanddragons :)

I haven't read or watched Hunger Games, but I've picked up enough through cultural osmosis...I hope. They're kids in an arena fighting to the death, right? And it's a media circus? And there are 12 districts? And they're poor? I think I got it! Anyway, let's stick Cosmere characters in that arena and see how they do!

By the way, for the most part I'm imagining these characters in their own separate hunger games, not all together, just because I didn't want to imagine all of my blorbos killing each other.

1. Kaladin

After a kid who looks just like Tien literally dies in Kaladin's arms (note: all of the kids look exactly like Tien so far as Kaladin is concerned), Kaladin realizes that the Hunger Games are about kids dying, not about kids surviving. He decides that he has to save everyone, and quickly builds a coalition with the other tributes. They all die anyway and Kaladin wins.

He's not happy about it.

2. Shallan

Sadly, Shallan dies while trying unsuccessfully to convince a stick to become fire. Technically, I think this means the stick wins, but they give the award to some kid instead, for some reason.

3. Adolin

Adolin was doing really well until FOUR other tributes all decided to gang up on him. Even then, he fought like an uncaged tiger and very nearly survived. Nearly. (Hey, uh, most characters die in Hunger Games, right?)

4. Vin

Vin slices through the competition like a vengeful god. Emphasis on vengeful. And god. She barely even lets herself get distracted by the weird love triangle between that guy who wants to make the world better and the one who wants to burn it all down. She's too busy, like, killing everyone.

5. Zane

Zane thinks it's pretty swell to be in this killing arena killing people. What isn't swell is that Vin isn't into him, even AFTER their romantic killing spree. What gives? Anyway. Vin kills him.

6. Elend

Elend has a lot of thoughts about the sociological implications of the games. He does not have a lot of thoughts about how to sharpen a stick into a crude spear and ram it through someone's chest. (Is that what happens in the Hunger Games?) Regardless, I don't think he makes it long... Sorry, Elend.

7. Spook

Spook is a wraith. No one ever sees him coming. Or sees him at all. He keeps receiving supplies and weapons from a mysterious benefactor. At one point he starts wearing a handkerchief over his eyes and killing people by sound alone. I don't really see him winning, tbh (sorry Spook), but he is definitely a crowd favorite who makes it super far.

8. Szeth

"To kill innocent children for the amusement of distant viewers blackens my soul with a stain that shall never be removed. Oh, how I hate this. Oh, how I hate this senseless, senseless killing," Szeth thinks to himself as he constructs an unnecessarily elaborate death trap that kills his opponents horribly. "No one suffers like me," Szeth thinks, over all of the screaming.

9. Renarin

Hey remember when Renarin killed a Thunderclast mostly off-screen? Plus he has future sight. If they've got their powers in this game, then Radiant Renarin is probably taking it all. If not, well...let's not go there.

10. Vivenna

After her sister is sent as a tribute in Vivenna's place, Vivenna enters the Hunger Games anyway, determined to somehow put a stop to them. For example, she takes all the food she can find and hides it in one place so that it will be safe for everyone. She figures out how to predict supply drops to ensure that she always gets to them first. While convinced that she is the Hunger Games Breaker, she is actually the season's most notorious villain and eventually everyone bands together to kill her. Sorry, Vivenna.

11. Kelsier

Kelsier wins the hearts of viewers everywhere, mostly due to his determination to keep smiling no matter what horrors he must survive. He's, like, really good at killing people also. The Survivor, people call him. But when he is shockingly cut down and killed, his death galvanizes a rebellion against, uh, President Snow? Is that the big bad? Anyway. There's a religion about him now.

12. Ann

Oh, Ann. So excited to shoot guns. (Do they have guns?) So excited to shoot bows and arrows maybe. But she can't shoot worth a damn. She has a splendid time and hits no one. And, well, she does not win.

13. Cord

Frankly, Cord wants to win and bring glory and money (?) back home to her people, who desperately need it. I'm assuming the districts get stuff if their person wins. Cord is in it to win it. And she's awfully good with that bow and arrow...

14. Lift

Man, I don't want Lift to be in the Hunger Games! Lift thinks killing is lazy and boring! Sure, she'd be great at hiding in trees and getting food, but I definitely do not see Lift actually being able to kill anyone. Is that allowed? Will she be disqualified?

15. Tress

Tress looks at the Death Arena Whose Purpose Is Death and says, "But is anyone gonna Make Friends about it" and doesn't wait for an answer. Somehow, by the end, basically everyone IS friends. Except for that one person who really did want to kill. But she and Tress went off together and only Tress returned. So.

Basically, Tress's influence ruins the Hunger Games that year. Nobody wants the Friendship Games.

[nevertheless-moving]

STORMLIGHT ARCHIVE AU MASTERLIST

List will be updated with links if/when AUs develop For my Star Wars AU Masterlist: Please See Here As always, people are more than welcome to play with any of these ideas! just please link back to me so I can see! Seriously if you want to write stuff in any form with ideas from any of these aus I will love you forever! 1 to 20: Words of Radiance AUS 21 to 30: Non Words of Radiance AUs (note: these might also be WOR AUs) 31 to 40: Post Winds and Truth Wild Speculation (that may or may not also be a WOR AU)

1 to 20 Words of Radiance AUS

[EDIT, Previous #1 Now #28]

2. High oath Hesina willshaper aus. This is actually many many AUs because the "Mom??" Reveal is great in all contexts. Concept, WOK Era Outline, Brief Fanfic

3. Renarin asks Kaladin for help with radiant stuff during WOR. Secret training. Everyone thinks they're fucking. Chapter 1 and Outline/Meta

4. Elhokar drunk orders kaladin to bedchambers, begs for help keeping away nighmare creatures. Kaladin nearly kills him before scary spren realization, then goes into serious radiant mode when syl gets ambiguously concerned. Everyone thinks they're fucking.[Note: I might be too easily entertained by this trope]. Kaladin is deeply pained by this but also has  people saving thing and really doesnt want to reveal the radiant thing to the whole camp. Earlier third oath. Eventual fucking optional, see above au, except with a bit more pity than vibeing for option a.

5. Crack. AUs 3, 4, and 9 at same time so people just think Kaladin is the Kholin Rhysadium. Bridge 4 offers government overthrow if he's being pressured. kaladin assures them that's not it. Now people keep trying to high five him. Kaladin with head in hands while Moash snarks over his shoulder "you know when i said fuck the lighteyed i didn't -" Kaladin definitely asexual in this one.

6. Hesina and lirin come to shattered planes, shocked/thrilled/emotional to find kaladin. Bridge 4 desperately trying to get approval of [bugs bunny meme our] parents. Lirin reluctantly adopting renarin who wants to learn about healing now for some reason. Blackthorn surgeon mutual loathing/ jealousy son swap hilarity. Lirin is having a time. 

7. Kaladin wasn’t on guard duty the night of szeth arrival. Still warned by syl about assassin, but has to dead sprint while glowing to get across camp fast enough, soft reveal to anyone outside. Only barely figures out wall running on the way over to crash in window just in time. Szeth freaks out and runs away after very short, mildly anticlimatic interaction. And now Kaladin has to deal with Everyone.

8. Kaladin further along in powers during initial szeth fight. Battle of champions degrading to slap fight when they run out of stormlight and get stuck on the plains. Concept/ Ask, Funny Severed Leg

9. Manufactured rumors about adolin/ kaladin. Effective political mudslinging for most of WOR. Shallan plays up things about her relationship with Jasnah to be a more appealing beard. [Previous #9 Is Now #33]

10. Kaladin has a meltdown in prison, breaks out of his cell. Just a little bit more stormlight...Shouts of alarm. Aaah glowing Assassin in white! Kaladin panics more. Adolin handles the situation like a champ. Kaladin maybe briefly kidnaps him.

11. Nale goes after kaladin instead of lift. Ohhh so many thoughts for parallels.

12. Syl immediately dive bombs pattern when kaladin and shallan meet. Really early radiant reveal but just to each other. Kaladin does not trust her but doesn't want to reveal his own status so just watches her super intensely...since she's also constantly watching him too, yes, this gets misinterpreted. See au 3 through 5 but more discreet. Veil is the one draggng him from the barracks for late night 'training sessions' [these are actually training sessions but veil flirts outrageously with kaladin when anyones in earshot. So.] that distracts things a bit.

13. Adolin, suspicious after the Assassin in White fight, was secretly following kaladin at night. Sees him step off a ledge into a chasm (I just reread the section and was like?! You glanced over your shoulder once?!). Adolin spends the whole night stewing in regret, anger, grief, guilt (I was there. I could have yelled. Should have done something. I didn't realize...I didn't know. I didn't know anything). Next morning Kaladin is on guard duty and adolin flips his shit, suddenly remembering that the whole reason he was suspicious of this guy was because he inexplicably survived a several hundred foot drop.

14. Kaladin barely manages to hold it together just long enough to out himself as radiant right after prison. Part One, Part two

15. Kaladin does NOT hold it together after getting arrested.

16. Kaladin swears third oath early. Next few weeks involve a lot of hiding glowing bridgeman squire antics and gaslighting people about kaladin's intermittently light eyes.

17. In the initial confrontation with Szeth, Kaladin pushes a bit harder about the radiants being back, Szeth spirals a bit more, crashing realization that he isn't truthless...

17a.  Earlier radiant reveal: szeth surrenders the honor blade and then immediately collapses into the ground. Kaladin drags him and the blade upstairs. Has to reveal himself now because 1) kaladin what the fuck how and 2) the assassin is mumbling about radiants. 17b ANGST: szeth surrenders the honor blade and immediately kills himself with kaladin's weapons. Kaladin takes honorblade, collapses on way back because it's draining his stormlight, maybe messing with sylbond. When he wakes up hes injured, surrounded by lighteyes and a handful of his men...handles it badly because Very Specific Shardblade Winning Trauma. Crazy two nickles moment. Downside: cries a lot in front of people he'd rather not have cried in front of. Upside: dalinar believes him about amaram now. Public windrunner powers, but obscured Radiant reveal because glowing assassin sword is very clearly granting magic powers. Weird interactions of honorblade bond and nahel bond. Lot of interesting fallout from Dalinar having his very own Mystical Assassin now.

18. Kaladin sends Syl to spy on the 'horneater princess', one sided radiant discovery. When she sends pattern to spy on bridgeboy, he somehow notices. Shallan does not handle it well. 

19. Something something people put together all the impossible stuff Kaladin's done with all the impossible stuff the Blackthorn did as a youth, combined with one of bridge four drunkenly talking about their best theories for the Captains 'mysterious backstory,' combined with Dalinar literally calling Kaladin son and seemingly overnight the warcamps are convinced that Kaladin is Dalinar's bastard child.

20. (COLLABORATIVE with @gnecrognomicon) Instead of being thrown in prison, Elhokar orders Kaladin be strung up for the Stormfather's judgement. Part One, Part Two

21 to 30 Non Words of Radiance AUs

22. Way of kings au where the beggars of alethkar are rounded up for the war effort. Jezrian, of course, ends up on bridge four.

23. Kaladin time travel au to way of kings only the transition is a bit like a spren going through the cognitive to material realm transfer. Not all there. Heartwarming bridge four bonding slightly to the left - sure the mans crazy but he just looks so...disappointed when we dont help with the injured, and he shares his food like an idiot. How does someone seven foot tall and stronger than a chull make axehound pup eyes. We're not following him though. He's not our lead - holy heralds balls is he glowing??  Bit more of a symbol than a friend, but a symbol that you take turns holding at night because he has such bad nightmares and also hes clingy. 

24. COLLABORATIVE / stone soup with @sweetteaanddragons : adolin and kaladin time travel to way of kings. Kaldin brooding about how to escape AND save all his men AND the world until adolin barges in and buys everyone. 

'Thank the almighty,' Kaladin thought with almost painful relief, watching Adolin argue haughtily with a growing swarm of Thadeus's lighteyes. 'I never thought I'd actually appreciate having a rich friend.' He would, of course, rather die than admit this. "I had it handled," he growled, when the two finally managed to speak inconspicuously, each weaving amongst a thousand confused former bridgeman, speaking quietly with several, until they were able to meet in the middle with reasonable subtlety, all things considered. "That's great, Kal," Adolin said cheerfully, clearly not buying a word. "Say, how would you feel about doing some, you know..." He waved a hand, earning a raised eyebrow from Kaladin. "Glowy stuff for my Father," his voice dropped from a subtle hush to a slightly conspicuous whisper. "So he doesn't disinherit me. I did not have permission for this."  Both pairs of eyes flicked to the side, the Blackthorn's towering figure approaching like a Stormwall. "Uh. Sooner rather than later perhaps."

26. Oathbringer/row au. Adolin doesn’t kill sadeus. Mostly just excuse to dunk on Sadeus for trading one (1) shardblade for mythical warrior who can make his own shardblade. oh look more of your former slaves are glowing now. and THEY make shardblades too!

27. Elhokar and Kaladin time travel from Elhokar's death in oathbringer to way of kings. Part one, Part Two

27B. Elhokar solo time travels back from Oathbringer death to Way of Kings

28. Moash tells kaladin about beef with elokhar early. This derails the entire plot of the series. [EDIT, This au was previously #1, before I abruptly realized it was WOK, Not WOR]

31 to 40 Post Winds and Truth Wild Speculation

31. Szeth kaladin pity fuck time travel au words of radiance. Bridge four roasts the shit out of kaladin. Kaladin is doing everything in his power to avoid implying "knowledge of future" which makes the timeline of their relationship deeply confusing.

32. Szeth kaladin time travel au post book 5, they get their memories back in the high storm right before canon first meeting. Szeth sort of stumbles in, halfheartedly attempting a confused assassination.

33. [EDIT: Previously AU Number 9] Kaladin time travel back to wor, book 5 gone wrong. Deeply terrifying from outsider pov. Captain of the Kholin guard, bridgefour leader, is suddenly Full fourth oath windrunner talking about how humans are the voidbringers, they actually need to support the parshendi in bringing one last controlled desolation, and then kill the heralds and also god. Don't worry not our god. Different god. Our god is already dead. If someone else travels back with him then it swings around to a lil bit funny.

34. Post winds and truth, pre sunlit man, crossover with the twilight of mistborn era 2 (i think the cosmere timeline could make sense but if not, oh well). Kaladin gets a boon from his god(s). Requests to learn more about mental health. Has to go to another planet to do so, because mental health research on Roshar sucks. Scadrial's god seems (relatively) friendly and their planet has developed antidepressants AND wellness seminars. Shenanigans with Very Old Wax and the gang.

35. Jasnah, Dalinar, and Renarin (surviving Kholin Radiants) travel from End of World to right after Gavilar's death. Crack. Outline

All of the above (plus other fandoms if you keep scrolling back) will be tagged with 'my au' The above, plus my canon stormlight and other cosmere meta, technically canon compliant fanfic drabbles, or other things that i've written but don't fit in an au will be tagged 'nevertheless cosmere'

[boundingfeather]

Finished Elantris! Don't have any pithy comments but I did want to share this: my list of cosmere siblings ranked from best to worst. Incomplete as I haven't read Mistborn Era 2, Warbreaker, or Tress yet, I'll update it when I do.

1. Adolin and Renarin - obviously

2. Kaladin and Tien - also obviously

3. Kiin's children - so originally they were gonna be 4 but then the twist about Adien happened and I realized: 5 years and the two 10 year olds NEVER said shit about their brother being Elantrian. Do you know how big of a fucking narc 10 year Olds are? Those kids must have really loved their brother. A++ 10/10 family

4. Beldre and The Citizen - generally look out for each other as long as one of them isn't possessed by Ruin. Upon reflection even IF one is possessed by Ruin

5. The Davar siblings - they love each other its just...boy their family is dysfunctional

6. Jasnah and Elhokar - more distant but hey, they still like each other

7. Elend and Zane - literally never met and by their own admission do not hate each other so

8. Kelsier and Marsh - put here but I'm literally expecting them to try to kill each other at some point

9. Kiin and Eventeo - so uh...dont know exactly what the fuck's going on there but it ain't GOOD

10. Venli and Eshonai - care for each other but probably would be best if they stayed far apart

(10.5 Raoden and Eton - my man got cut from the final book so he doesn't count but if he did they'd go here)

11. Gavilar and Dalinar - fucked up!

12: Vin and Reen - Really fucked up!

[swamp-spirit]

rRules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I was tagged by @wufflesvetinari, and I love this kind of stuff. You should def check out her stuff too

Also, I chose two sentences for a lot of these, because it turns out the way I write first lines makes first sentences really boring. Also, a lot of these are still ongoing, the date is just when started.

Most Recent -> Least Recent

1. Children of Baltigo - One Piece Fanfic The boy had been broken when Dragon pulled him from the water. 

2. Unnamed - One Piece Fanfic Garp never carried many marks.  Most people were covered in marks as children, possible futures that faded as they chose a path, leaving only the marks that would someday burn into tattoos.

3. Swear on Our Name - One Piece Fanfic A lot of people told Luffy he had no self control, which he thought was pretty unfair.

4. Conflict Resolution via Brawling and Stickers - Collab My Hero Academia Fanfic It’s like seeing a ghost.

5. Augury - My Hero Academia Fanfic “Oh, the Put Your Hands Up is starting! I’ll just put that on for you!”

6. Write it Like Valley - My Hero Academia Fanfic Toshinori knew that Mr. Hirose had probably been dreading this meeting as much as he had. He wished he was petty enough for that to be comforting.

7. American Villain - My Hero Academia Fanfic (oops all OCs) If Holly had to pick the best thing to happen to her villainous career, it would have to be box karaoke.

8. Unnamed - Original Prose Nobody at Twilight was a waiter, not really. Everyone was a writer or an actress or a dancer who just hadn't quite gotten their big break and just happened to be, at the moment, waiting tables.

9. Left to Rot - Original Comic Fade in to young Vanya trying to shake their mother awake. Y!Vanya - Mom? Mom? There’s a lady beside my bed.

10. Three Down (One to Go) - Harry Potter Fanfic The war felt far away at the Potter's. There was a fire lit, warm food, and an atmosphere so calm that even after weeks of fear and horror, 

11. Cut Teeth - Original Prose I told myself the things I did in my dreams didn't reflect who I was.

12. Weak Blood - Stormlight Archive Fanfic Adolin rode slowly so Renarin could keep up. It wasn't that Renarin was bad with horses, but it came naturally to Adolin in the way so many things did.

13. Rethe - Original Comic  [The story opens in the desert on a sunny morning. There are bright carriages pulled by large birds, a giant lizard crawling on the ground, and people walking together. Rous stands alone outside a carriage. He looks about twelve and has finely embroidered clothes and short hair.]

14. Untitled - Original Prose At this time of day, Richard L. Albrit preferred to be in his office, in a clean suit with a competent staff and maybe a glass of whiskey.  Still, as unusual as it was to find himself in dirty trousers, feet buried in the sand, one could not say he was out of his element.

Conclusions: -Quarantine gave me a rare disease where I only write fanfic for shounen manga. (combined with the creative burnout I went through after writing a heterosexual romance visual novel for work three months in a row last summer) -I tend to do a short, simple lead in sentence with a second sentence giving context. -Despite being a dialogue heavy author, I pretty much never open with dialogue. -I need to open on action more than thinking. I tend to open comics on particularly mundane moments.

My favorites are probably 7 and 14. They both set up something slightly jarring.

Anyone who thinks this would be more fun than stressful should do it, but let’s tag: @19catsncounting, @fic-pickyourpoison, @man-destroyer, @renarinkholin, @kogiopsis, @ladyknightradiant

[braaaaain]

I posted 349 times in 2021

35 posts created (10%)

314 posts reblogged (90%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 9.0 posts.

I added 86 tags in 2021

#cosmere - 19 posts

#brandon sanderson - 19 posts

#the stormlight archive - 9 posts

#stormlight archive - 8 posts

#mistborn - 7 posts

#row spoilers - 6 posts

#stormlight - 6 posts

#rhythm of war - 5 posts

#politics - 4 posts

#mistborn spoilers - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#and it's revealing how much the left has been infiltrated by reactionaries who want to hur marginalized people

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Okay, Cosmere Fandom IS Best Fandom and every other fandom should be jelous of our comparatively healthy relationship with our author and stuff, but it does have flaws we need to discuss.

Chief among them is our inability to distinguish text from Word of Brandon and WoB from our own assumptions an theories. This sounds nitpicky but I'm not taking about the weird stuff about hemalurgy that Coppermind presents as fact; I mean we convince ourselves that the representation stronger than it is and give to much credit to Branderson.

Yeah, he's proven pretty reliable when he comes to delivering thoughtful narratives about marginalized people (he has delivered on his promise to show Jasnah as Ace) but, I don't know, until he does we just sound like Rowling stans defending her portrayal of Dumbledore. I personally have have turned a friend off to stormlight by trying to recommend it to a friend looking for Bi rep in fantasy by being like "this character is hinted at being bi in the books and the author confirmed it in a tweet".

So, let's get get this out of the way, Shallan is not canonically bi. No, a vague joke by an alter who doesn't even exist anymore doesn't count, but he might go into how she "incorporated" that into herself now. Adolin and Kaladin aren't bi in cannon or WoB, Brandy just said they'd be open to a polycule with Shallan if Kaladin wasn't a prude about it. Renarin/Rlain isn't Word of Brandon, it's Accidental Word of Brandon's Assistant, though, yes, it does seem like it'll be cannon soon.

Again, this IS the best fandom and Samberson is VERY good about this kinda thing but, if we want to grow this fandom, we need to demonstrate that we DON'T laud him for things he hasn't done (yet) and would hold him accountable if he pulled some Fantastic Beasts nonsense.

24 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 22:10:13 GMT

#4

Listening to Robert Evans talk about how he likely only avoided right wing radicalization thanks to being pulled into some of the rare early online communities where women were common is an experience. I owe a lot to Deviant Art and the Lemon Demon Forums.

33 notes • Posted 2021-02-24 02:13:18 GMT

#3

Nothing is funnier than watching people live blog RoW and seeing them get to Taravangian's last conversation with Szeth. Watching them explode, thinking that this is the most infuriating part of the book when the Thaidakar reveal is waiting a few chapters away is an invigorating experience.

45 notes • Posted 2021-01-12 01:34:15 GMT

#2

The Knights Radiant personality test is basically the Hogwarts House sorter except it tells you what kind of therapy you need.

222 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 16:25:36 GMT

#1

Cosmere fans when taking about a character who overthrew a tyrant, punched God, and saved the world: I wish this asshole bastard would finish dying already.

410 notes • Posted 2021-02-19 03:19:58 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters: Should They Be At The Club?

As I think I've mentioned, I write these lists a couple months in advance, usually. So I don't know if the great "They should be at the club!" meme is still going strong, or if people will see this and be all, "Bah! That's SO 2023!" But eh.

So anyway, should Cosmere characters be at the club?

1. Dalinar

Dalinar should not be at the club. Dalinar would not understand the club, and he would not like the club.

2. Sadeas

Weirdly, I think Sadeas would understand the club better than Dalinar would, but he still should not be there. Sadeas's presence would make the club worse, no matter how fashionable he is.

3. Tress

Tress was only eighteen! She should have been at the club, although the club would probably be less exciting than her life at sea.

4. MeLaan

MeLaann is only, uh, thousands of years old (I think) but she should ABSOLUTELY be at the club. She would love the club, and the club would love her too.

5. Rlain

Has Rlain ever NOT been having a tough time? He deserves a wild night at the club with Renarin, and I'm sticking with that.

6. Vivenna

Vivenna was only twenty-two when she was supposed to be sent to marry the god-king. Yes, she should have been at the club instead. She would hate it, though. She would hate it so much.

7. Painter

Painter should get to be at a club lurking in a corner, drinking vodka on the rocks because it sounds tough and wishing it didn't taste so much like rubbing alcohol.

8. Hoid

Hoid should not be at the club. He's very old and also, no one at the club would be able to hear what he was saying and that would make Hoid sad.

9. Demoux

Demoux was in his early twenties when Kelsier's rebellion was going on. He 100% should have been at the club instead. He's named after a friend of Brandon's and Brandon said he'd survive and "get a girl" apparently and those are both things that can happen at a club.

10. Lift

Lift should not be at the club. Isn't she like 13? That's too young for the club.

11. Kaladin

Kaladin should be at the club. Adolin will have to drag him there, though, and he will spend much of the time looking glowery.

12. Ulaam

Ulaam should not go to the club because drunk people cannot consent to giving up their body parts (even after death) and Ulaam knows that and it would make him sad to see all of those beautiful elbows or what-not and not even be able to ASK for them.

13. Sebarial

Sebarial should not be at the club--he should be home drinking with Palona. He would own clubs, though, if he could.

14. Hrathen

Hrathen should not be at the club. He would definitely kill the vibe.

15. Szeth

Szeth is like 35 years old. He should not be at the club. He should be wrapped in a warm blanket and placed somewhere quiet, peaceful.

16. Moash

Yes--at any point in the narrative you can look at what Moash is going through and say, "Would it be better for him to be at the club right now?" and the answer is always yes.

[cosmerelists]

Kaladin asks: “Would you still love me if I was a cremling?”

“Would you still love me if I was a worm”  is a meme. But on Roshar, of course, they’d ask the question using cremlings, not worms. So let’s say that Kaladin asked his friends this very important question. How would they reply?

1. Adolin

Adolin: Sure, I don’t see why not!

Adolin: Can I give you a tiny, cremling-sized sword?

Adolin: It’d be pretty cute!

2. Renarin

Renarin: [considering]

Renarin: Yes, I believe so.

Renarin: So long as I knew it was you, I don’t see why my view of you would change.

Adolin: ...now I feel a little bad about my flippant cremling-sword answer.

Renarin: Nah, that would be cute.

3. Shallan

Shallan: Oooh, so you’d be a cremling with human intelligence?

Shallan: I could make you a shalebark habitat, and then have you describe the symbiotic relationship from the cremling perspective!

Shallan: Plus, you could tell me about what tastes good, whether you feel artistic...

Kaladin: I’m not sure I like the glint in your eye...

Shallan: I might love you more.

4. Moash

Moash: “Just a cremling” they’d say. “We can definitely kill him now.”

Moash: But no.

Moash: I know you’d still be unkillable.

Moash: You’d be the most overpowered radiant cremling ever.

Kaladin: Is that a yes, or...?

5. Teft

Teft: Of course, lad. 

Teft: Shouldn’t be too hard to find some way for me to become a cremling too.

Kaladin: Uh...you don’t need to be a cremling in this thought experiment.

Teft: I’m your lieutenant, aren’t I? 

6. Zahel

Zahel: No.

Zahel: Toss you out. Let nature take its course.

Kaladin: You, uh, know it’s still me, right? Just in cremling-shape?

Zahel: I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

7. Rlain

Rlain: Hmmm....yes.

Rlain: In fact, I think I would love you more.

Rlain: You’d finally have a shell!

8. Navani & Dalinar

Navani: Of course we would. I’ll even make you a little glyph board to crawl over to tell me all of your cremling thoughts.

Navani: Perhaps you could write the first book from the cremling perspective.

Navani: Men write now, so all bets are off.

Dalinar: But you are not allowed to call your book The Way of Cremlings. I will not allow it.

Navani: Dalinar, please! The man’s a cremling!

Kaladin: ...I feel like you guys might be making fun of me.

9. Lirin & Hesina

Hesina: You know I would, Kaladin.

Hesina: I’d give you a nice cremling habitat with a nice high rock for you to sit on.

Kaladin: Thanks, mom.

Lirin: At the very least, you’d take care of wounded cremlings, right?

Kaladin: D-Dad?!

Lirin: Gotta do something with your cremling life.

10. Lewshi

Lewshi: I would continue to respect you as a warrior.

Lewshi: However, I do not think we could duel anymore.

Kaladin: You don’t think?

Lewshi: Well, I know not to make assumptions when it comes to you.

11. Rock

Rock: ...

Rock: Tell me this. Are you the delicious type of cremling?

Kaladin: Y-You’d eat me?!

Rock: ...

Rock: Think of the fine stew!

Kaladin: NO

12. Syl

Syl: ...

Syl: ...

Syl: ...

Kaladin: Uh, are you okay, Syl?

Syl: (whispering) Tiny, glowing cremling with a sword!

Syl: S-So cute!

Adolin: That’s what I was saying!

Kaladin: ...

Kaladin: Why did I think this was a good idea?

[cosmerelists]

Top 12 Sanderson RAFOs that Haunt Me

[SPOILERS! For Stormlight and Mistborn (both eras) especially]

"RAFO" = "Read and Find Out," AKA, a question that Sanderson says may be answered in a future book. Here, then, are Sanderson's "Read and Find Out" answers that most haunt me...insofar as I'm desperate to know how the answers will play out in the future!

(I'll link to @onlycosmere or the Coppermind for the sources!)

#12: Where is Design in Lost Metal?

Whenever Hoid appears in a book chronologically later than Stormlight 4, we all freak out if Design is somehow not there. There was (seemingly) no Design in Tress and no Design in Lost Metal. Someone asked about the Lost Metal and got RAFO'd (here). Sanderson's response of "oooh, excellent question" makes me especially curious. Like, does something happen to Design? Or is Design some sort of object that we don't realize is Design? So curious!

#11: Is Spook still alive?

Someone asked if Spook is still alive, and Sanderson RAFO'd it (here). I'll admit; I'm mostly curious about this because I'm curious about Kelsier and how he drew Spook into his terrible (?) schemes. And it's always interesting when those characters from early books come back. I wouldn't mind seeing Spook around again!

#10: Taravangian's Perfect Day

Someone asked if anything else of note happened on Taravangian's Perfect Day, and Sanderson said yes (!) and then RAFO'd the details (here). I can't even begin to guess what this might refer to, but it feels pretty important. I wonder what it means!

#9: Valor Will Be Mentioned in Stormlight 5

Well, name-dropped anyway (here). Valor is one of the few remaining shards we don't know much about, so I'm curious as to what we'll learn about her in Stormlight 5 and in what context she'll be name-dropped. I'm not as curious as I should be, I guess, because I frankly can't keep all of the shards straight. But it'll still be cool!

#8: Renarin's Detective Skills

Somebody asked if Renarin figured out on his own that Adolin killed Sadeas, and Sanderson gave it a "partial RAFO" (here). I really hope we find out more about this, maybe when Renarin is the flashback character. I want to know how he knew, and what he did with that knowledge. More Renarin overall, tbh!

#7: Hoid Dated a Dragon

Hoid dated a dragon once; it's canon (here). But which one? That we're still waiting to see! I'll admit; I'm curious.

#6 Were Glys and Tumi Dead-Eyes?

Someone asked if Glys & Tumi were dead-eyes before Sja-anat got to them (here). Sanderson RAFO'd it and said it was a good question (!!). That doesn't mean the theory is true, of course, but it means it COULD be true! And if dead-eyes can be restored by Sja-anat, then........is there hope for Maya???

#5: Missing Yellow From Pinter Ink

Someone asked Sanderson about the hion colors, and how blue and magenta are printer colors, and how yellow is missing. Sanderson indicated that this was exactly as he had planned and RAFO'd the missing yellow "ink" (here). Later, Sanderson explained a bit more that if there were a third Hion line, it would be yellow, and hinted that there was a reason it was missing (here). Sanderson has elsewhere indicated that "yin yang" type investiture is a Cosmere-wide phenomenon...which means...what? That there should be another magic outside of the dichotomy? That it's missing? Just from the hions or from all magic systems? Does this have something to do with aethers as the non-Adonalsium magic type?

I'm not smart enough with Cosmere science to know, but I AM very curious!

#4: If Kelsier and Moash Meet

When asked what would happen if Kelsier and Moash meet, Sanderson RAFO'd it (here). Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that they will meet, of course...but it means they COULD. And now I want it--I want it so much! #Let-Moash-join-the-Ghostbloods-as-Kelsier's-righthand-man-2024

#3: Ask Me About July 18

I think much of the fandom is aware of this RAFO, where Sanderson tweeted that we should all remind him to talk more about the important scene that he wrote for Stormlight 5 on July 18 (here). Like everyone, I am desperate to know what scene he is talking about. The Odium duel? Renarin and Rlain getting together?? Szeth and Kaladin petting a baby sheep while they talk about their feelings??? It could be anything!

#2: Rat skulls glow on Threnody?!

People who pay attention to my every comment on this blog may know that Threnody is my favorite Cosmere planet, and so I was definitely interested to see this RAFO, where Sanderson said that...rat skulls glow on Threnody for a reason?? (here) Not only did he say that they glow for a good reason, but he also "laugh[ed] gleefully" apparently. I am so curious...and so alarmed.

#1: Hoid Drinking Perfume Will Be Relevant

But the "RAFO" that most haunts me is from way back in 2016 (here), when someone asked why Hoid was drinking perfume in Bands of Mourning...and Sanderson RAFO'd it, saying that he planned to delve into it one day. D-Delve into WHAT exactly? How could it possibly be Cosmere-relevant that Hoid was drinking perfume? Is it about where he got it? Is there a perfume-drinking-based magic system??

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN

[cosmerelists]

Interviewing My Wife about the Cosmere

My wife has not read any Sanderson. However, she DOES listen to me babble about it at all hours, and she does follow this blog. So I thought I’d see what she’s picked up via osmosis about the Cosmere.

Question 1: “What are five things you are sure are true about the Cosmere?”

“Kaladin is very hot and invented therapy!”

“Jasnah is hot.”

“Dalinar is very smoofy and I like him and Navani.”

“Steris is you: she likes lists and is organized and awesome and my favorite.”

“Kaladin’s dad is a jerk and I hate him.”

Question 2: “What is the difference between men & women on Roshar?”

“Men don’t read and women are cooler.”

Question 3: “What is Rlain?”

“That’s the crab guy.”

Question 4: “What is Renarin?”

“He’s the one who leaps off of walls and has a crush on the crab guy.”

Question 5: “Who is Kelsier?”

“He’s the evil guy who is wishy-washy about being evil.”

Question 6: “Who is Vin?”

“The bad-ass lady. I don’t remember what she does but only that she is bad ass about it.”

Question 7: “Can you tell me the plot of any book?”

“The first one: Kaladin is with a bridge company that pushes bridges somehow and they all die apparently.”

Question 8: “Can you tell me about any magic system?”

“They eat metal because it gives them power but they can only use certain ones unless they are the avatar ones but that is rare. There are also ones that have spikes and get taken over by a god. Even though a spike is like having metal inside you so it seems like those are the same.”

Question 9: “Who is Hoid?”

“Hoid is the one who wears Hawaiian shirts and is kinda a dingy but he is always there. Does he even do anything cool? And somehow he got with Jasnah which boggles me.”

Question 10: “Which character is in Fortnite?”

“Uh.....Kelsier?”

Question 11: “What are spren?”

“Spren are like sword fairies and sometimes they get sad and scream.”

Question 12: “Who is Szeth?”

“I got nothing. Is he from Mistborn?”

Question 13: “How did Dalinar’s brother die?”

“I don’t remember. Killed by a lady probably? One of the badass ones. Did Navani kill him?”

Question 14: “How did Kaladin get out of the bridge crews?”

“He saved Adolin and everyone else died.”

Question 15: “Has Shallan ever killed anyone?”

“Yes. Killed her mom and dad.”

Question 16: “Has Adolin ever killed anyone?”

“Probably! He’s a duelist! (off my expression) They aren’t duels to the death?”

Question 17: “Has Navani killed anyone?”

“She  killed the crab lady that she was making logic-sex-brain looks at.”

Question 18: “Has Renarin killed anyone?”

“Probably not. He just likes to fall off buildings.”

Question 19: “Why is there a war between the ‘crabs’ and the humans?”

“The crabs don’t like the magic thing. Like when Navani and the crab lady were trying to figure it out.”

Question 20: “How did Dalinar’s wife die?”

“He set them all on fire.” 

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere characters had mundane hobbies...

And by “mundane” I just mean “non-extreme” (aka, no base jumping, no paragliding); we’re talking, like, doing puzzles or going for a pleasant hike. If all these hobbies existed and Cosmere characters weren’t busy fending for their lives all the time, what might they get up to?

1. Szeth: Frisbee golf

We already know that Szeth is great at paintball; I just feel like he’d be weirdly good at frisbee golf as well.

2. Renarin: Speed Rubik’s Cube

Renarin likes to fiddle and have something for his hands to do--I think solving a Rubik’s Cube would be fun for him. And I threw in “speed” (aka, trying to do it as fast as possible) because Renarin loves to jump into things wholeheartedly.

3. Kaladin: Indoor Rock Climbing

Kaladin has already gone rock climbing in two books--he makes his own rock wall in the chasms in Book 1 and climbs down Urithiru in Book 4. He even knows that he should be using “rock dust” for his hands. I think some nice, non-extreme, indoor rock climbing would be good for Kaladin. Bonus: he’s not afraid of heights!

4. Shai: Stamp Collecting

(I’m sorry)

5. Eshonai: Hiking

Eshonai loves to go out into the woods and explore, see new places and people and things. I can see her getting into hiking.

6. Raoden: Coding

Before he even had powers, Raoden already liked to memorize Aons--and from what I understand, AonDor is basically coding. 

7. Tien: Rock Collecting

I mean, this is literally just canon. I have to imagine that he’d also enjoy whittling since that is again, simply canon. 

8. Shallan: Crochet

Okay, so Shallan does already have hobbies in canon: like drawing, for example. But I think she’d also enjoy crochet--all those patterns coming together, her Spren humming excitedly...

9. Adolin: Sewing

Even while trapped in Shadesmar, Adolin is able to sew himself a new outfit. If he had time and materials, he could definitely make some cool clothing. 

10. Mare: Gardening

I mean, she loves flowers. If she were alive when her planet could support flowers, I think she’d love to grow some.

11. Sixth of the Dusk: Birdwatching

If he wasn’t, you know, desperately trying to survive at all times, I feel like Sixth of the Dusk might enjoy some nice, relaxed birdwatching. 

12. Wax: Puzzling

Normally Wax is putting together the pieces of deadly mysteries that will impact the fate of his planet. Maybe he’d find it a nice change of pace to just put together colorful cardboard instead!

13. Rysn: Extreme Couponing

Listen, Rysn once leapt off of a cliff to talk to a god to make a deal. Clipping coupons would at least have the advantage of being safer than that, no matter how “extreme” she gets.

14. Rlain: Amateur Radio

Amateur radio tends to use morse code, which is a form of communication Rlain might find comfortingly rhythmic. Plus, amateur radio lets you connect with people, but no one can see you or judge you for being a crab person. 

15. Vin: Parkour

Even without powers, I can see Vin running across buildings and climbing things she’s not supposed to climb. I think she’d have a good time.

16. Jasnah: Crossword puzzles

Yes, I am basically calling Jasnah a nerd here, but also, I think she’d probably really like crossword puzzles--knowing things, understanding obscure trivia, solving puzzles that aren’t about the end of the world...

17. Dalinar: Tunnelling

I dunno if this is just a Reddit phenomenon, but apparently some people just really like to dig long tunnels underground? And Dalinar sure had a great time digging out that latrine that one time. Perhaps that was a sign that his true love is burrowing deep, deep underground.

18. Taravangian: Fantasy Football

I don’t know a whole lot about Fantasy Football, but I believe it involves creating your own imaginary team of players and then using their actual, real-life performance to get points. So you have to be good at predicting how people will act, skilled at long-term planning, and have a deep desire to win. It’s like Taravangian’s diagram, only nobody (hopefully) dies!

[cosmerelists]

Who They’d Date in Stardew Valley: Stormlight Edition

If the Stormlight characters played Stardew Valley, which NPC would they choose to date? 1.  Adolin: Dates Leah

Adolin: Something about the red hair...the artistry...the bisexuality...

Adolin: Oh wow! I’m just dating Shallan in the game!

Adolin: ...awesome. 

2. Hesina: Dates Harvey

Hesina: I just can’t resist a small-town doctor!

Hesina: This one charges for medical care, though. 

Lirin: T-The monster!

Hesina: Great mustache, though.

3. Rlain: Dates Sam

Rlain: Of all the NPCs, Sam is the most musical.

4. Renarin: Dates Sam

Renarin: Y-Yeah, guys who know rhythms are the best, aren’t they, Rlain?

5. Veil: Dates Haley

Veil: Like I said. I like dumb women.

6. Shallan: Dates Elliot

Shallan: Such a fascinating deconstruction of gender roles!

Shallan: He writes! Plays music! Has long hair!

Shallan: He’s basically a hot ardent!

Kabsal: 👀

Shallan: No.

7. Taravangian: Dates Shane

Taravangian: It is the only logical choice.

Taravangian: Early birthday, easy loved gifts, perfect for dancing with at the first Flower Dance.

Taravangian: Anyone who does ANY planning would choose Shane!

8. Nale: Dates Krobus

Nale: The only character with a dependable schedule and no questionable activities.

Lift: Doesn’t he just sit in the sewer all day?

Nale: Dependable.

9. Rock: Dates Abigail

Rock: Ha! Like I could resist someone who literally eats rocks!

10. Tien: Dates Sebastian

Tien: He likes hunting frogs!

Tien: I think we’d get along great.

Tien: Frogs are basically lurgs, right?

11. Moash: Dates Alex

Moash: An accomplished athlete. Trains to be stronger. Knows the pain of familial loss...

Lopen: Is the only character who goes shirtless!

Moash: ...shut up.

12. Szeth: Dates Emily

Szeth: Finally. Someone who treats rocks as sacred.

13. Jasnah: Dates Penny

Jasnah: If I were to waste time in this game, I would clearly choose the scholar who spends the most time in the library. 

14. Kaladin: Dates everyone

Kaladin: Wait...there’s a dating mechanic?

Kaladin: Syl told me the bouquets were symbols of friendship!

15. Dalinar: Dates nobody

Dalinar: I do not believe it would be right to date someone else when I am married to Navani.

Navani: Dalinar...it is literally a game.

Stormfather: No, no, I’m with Dalinar on this one.

16. Navani: Dates Maru

Navani: I don’t know...something about this scientist woman who occasionally makes things explode...

17. Gavilar: Dates the Wizard

Gavilar: Secret, arcane power? Yes please.

Navani: That’s not even a datable character!

Gavilar: Bah! Like I wouldn’t mod.