#when I think of it that way I get so grossed out

[toxycodone]

mouthwashing characters and their icks

ship. tulpar crew x reader

content. sfwish, just annoying things about our faves, some are romantic and some are general.

Captain Curly

Wildly empathetic. Like to a point where it’s annoying. Like yes, you get it. It’s sad to see an animal on the side of the road. But this is the second dog this week and it’s bit him twice. (He also falls for like. Fake homeless scams. Omg.)

I think he had an era where he had a cat that fucking hated him and never ever left under the guest room bed and terrorized his guests but he didn’t have the heart to get rid of it. 💀

He always ends up playing devil’s advocate without trying. Like when you’re complaining about someone at work or some bitch who cut you off in traffic, Curly’s like “maybe they had a bad day!” or something.

He just…never lets you just wallow in your misery when you need to. When he starts with his “look on the bright side!” stuff it makes your eyes roll back into your skull.

Is soooooo fucking conflict avoidant he’d rather just take shit on the chin then ever speak his mind about things with you. It gets so bad bc he’s bottling all this crap up and getting kinda catty. Because he won’t just grow up and tell you what his problem is.

Comes home in his dirty ass shoes and tracks mud all over the house. I mean he’ll swiffer it up like the housewife he is but it’s annoying.

Doesn’t clean his hands before touching your phone (or his own) before eating,. U get a greasy screen.

Jimmy is an asshole to you and Curly just goes “now now, Jim…” It won’t be until Jimmy does something like. Really bad. That Curly decides to put his foot down and enforce boundaries with that man. You witness this dude literally use your man as a doormat way too often.

If you make him choose. He would probably choose Jim unless push really came to shove…..

GIRLS FLIRT WITH HIM IN PUBLIC AND HES TOO ‘AWKWARD’ TO SAY “I’m taken…” so he just flaunts in the attention. In reality he just…likes the attention but doesn’t want to admit it to himself. (He’s loyal don’t get me wrong but this is annoying)

Thinks big romantic public gestures are cute. Whether that is an ick or not is up to you.

Jimmy

GOES THROUGH YOUR PHONE WHEN YOU’RE ASLEEP OR IN THE BATHROOM. And when you catch him he’s doesn’t even bother to make a good excuses “just wanted to check something.” Okay??? What?? If you go through his phone he will legit tackle you for it back (he isn’t even cheating he’s just pathetically bitchless and friendless. His last text was to his dealer and bro didn’t even respond.)

Will leave your important messages on read. It’s like he has read receipts on just to spite you.

Aggressively questions you out of the blue on who you know and hang out with as if it isn’t the same fucking people each time.

Really horny when he’s drunk and tries to seduce you but has terrible whiskey dick.

Terrible morning breath. Rank. Disgusting. Also all his clothes have the faint scent of stale cigarette smoke. Along with his carpet. And furniture. His walls are probably off-white too.

World’s dirtiest bathroom it’s literally so gross. He leaves his stubble in/around the sink after shaving with an electric razor real fast before work.

Has probably kissed you and then asked you what you last ate with a grimace 💔

Your friends hate him. Your family hates him. Your landlord hates him. And he hates them back.

You’ve had to bail him out of jail before. The officer on duty just gives you a pitied look when he sees you walk in and say you’re bailing him of all people out.

Pretty sure he has threatened to kill himself if you leave him multiple times but lashes out at you when you’re sweet to him at the most random times.

Anya

Stealing this from @l1v1ngd3dgrrl but Anya has the DUMBEST. LAUGH. Like she has a cutesy laugh until she’s finally not thinking and she laugh so hard she snorts. So loud.

Refuses to file down her nails so she accidentally scratches you all the time.

Definitely has an ex she’s still friends with that makes you lowkey question what is going on between them bc they’re obviously still into her and she doesn’t see it.

She silently judges and you can see it on her face when she has something to say but then she goes “it’s nothing!!!” And refuses to say it. (However, this does make her the best gossiper and she can be a total mean girl and tear apart bitches you hate on secret.)

Lowkey tries to psychoanalyze you when you’re venting to her like girl. I am not your homework.

Thinks it’s her responsibility to “fix you” for some reason. Takes you being depressed, angry, etc a little too personally.

Never watches the movies or shows you recommend you have sit her down and watch it w her. And she will. Be distracted by stuff on her phone.

Avid Mitski fan. And Nora Jones. Just an air of sad girl and longing to her that goes soooo crazy.

Big fan of ugly sweaters and tacky matching outfits….but has the audacity to make comments on your style.

Daisuke

“This one’s for you!” *Misses*. In public. In front of your friends. Need I say more.

Uses your hair products in the shower and your soap and your nice shaving oil without asking. :/

This is moreso in the beginning of the relationship but. I see this persisting that he’s constantly looking to you for approval for things. Has a really difficult time making decisions on his own, too. He’s looking to you for guidance on stuff,

Unironically thinks Dutch ovening you is funny.

Your friends all think he’s mid and although he’s sweet. You’re way outta his league. You’re dating down.

Has more skin care products than he can ever use. He’s a total product junkie.

GACHA GAME WHALE. Has definitely borrowed money for a ten pull in genshin 💔

Has cried out of frustration over Fortnite before (he was in a bad place. Okay.)

Cannot keep a job for the life of him. The only solid career he lands is like. Bobarista. But goddamn he’s good at it.

Has. Forgotten your anniversary/birthday/etc. before. and probably almost threw up out of guilt.

Swansea

Does the dad cold start every morning. Hacking. Coughing. Spitting up in the sink. It’s gross.

When he takes a shit he’s stuck in the bathroom for like half an hour at least. It’s always oddly humid and gross if you go in after him.

Chews with his mouth open.

Walks around shirtless only in underwear and will proudly fart whenever he needs to and it’s loud as fuck.

His kids lowkey hate him tbh. 💀 they have a better relationship as adults but man. Rocky fucking childhood.

Nothing ever really makes him satisfied or truly happy so you’re stuck in this weird limbo on if he actually gives a shit about you or not.

Rolls his eyes at you. When you can plainly sees he has suuuuch an attitude problem it’s crazy.

Definitely has asked for a manager in your presence over something minuscule (you wanted to die)

[dollracha]

𐙚 i want it ⋆  h.js  x fem! reader

pairing: han jisung x inexperienced! reader genre: smut warnings: swearing ⋆ slight corruption kink ⋆ needy han ⋆ slight perv!han ⋆ sorta dubcon ⋆ reader is called “baby” (several times) & “my girl” (once) ⋆ non penetrative sex ⋆ munch jisung ⋆ dialogue heavy wc: 707 synopsis: you both promised to take it slow, but jisung struggles to keep his word, and you certainly don't mind. author's note: been thinking about this for days this is so incredibly self indulgent its not funny. this is not beta read. this is barely proofread. i'm just a whore.

© dollracha do not copy reupload or repost.

“fuck, ‘m sorry, baby.” jisung whines into your neck as he ruts his cock against your wet panties. he’s got one hand wrapped tightly around his cock, the other gripping your hip hard enough to bruise. you’ve both soaked your panties, his precum and the wetness from your pussy make it almost uncomfortably sticky.

“god, ‘m so fuckin’... gross.” he rambles, pulling himself up to spit on his cock. he watches it slide off the side of his tip and down your ass. “making a mess of your poor pussy just to get myself off.”

“hannie…” your moan has him rolling his eyes back. you can’t remember how you ended up beneath him, just that you didn’t want it to stop yet. It wasn’t enough. and yet you were trying to find it in you to tell him to slow down, it’s what you wanted after all. to take it slow, wait until ‘the right time’ for your first time with jisung. that went out the window the moment he started feeling you up today.

“i know… said i'd keep my pretty girl all pure for a little longer.”

but jisung’s cock throbs at the sight of you all defiled. your hair is a mess from when he shoved you down on the bed and had his hands all up in it when he kissed you earlier. your makeup is smudged, mascara messy from the way tears well up in your eyes and spill when his cockhead rubs against your clit just right. your lipstick blurs around your lips from the sloppy kisses you shared. he begged you not to wear a bra this morning when you got dressed, it made your tits even easier for him to access. all he had to do was pull down your little tank top and they were all his. your skirt is pushed up, soft tummy peeking out. and your pussy, so wet for him already and he’s still one layer away. 

“look at you… so nasty f’me.”

“can i take off your panties? please, baby?” jisung stops rutting against your clothed pussy and gives a couple hard taps against your clit. “know it’s dirty, baby. but it’ll feel good, okay?”

all you want at this point is to feel good–screw everything else–so you nod and lift your hips so he can slide your panties off your legs.

You try to shut your legs but jisung is quicker. both of his hands keep your thighs open. “let me see that pretty pussy, don’t hide it from me.” he’s quick to spit on it again, and this time you can’t help the high pitched moan that escapes your lips. 

“did your exes ever spit on it, baby?”

you shake your head, hands coming to cover your flushed face. nobody’s ever touched you like jisung has. you’re not a virgin… you're just unexperienced. very unexperienced.

“like it?” he asks and you don’t respond. is it wrong to say you liked it? it’s gross, you think. it’s so so gross… but is it wrong?

warm saliva hits your pussy again, this time you can feel jisung’s breath on you. 

“do you like it when i spit on your pussy, baby?”

“... yes…” you respond, and finally pry your arms away from your face. jisung’s laying down on the bed, hands pressed against your thighs to keep them open. he can’t decide whether to look at your pussy or your eyes. he settles on your eyes. 

“fuck…” jisung whispers. his eyes fall back to your pussy with a smile. he licks his lips and lets his head fall against the blankets.

“ji?” you reach for his hand, and as soon as he feels your hand on his he’s grasping it, and raising his head up to kiss your knuckles. 

“i know you wanna take it slow… but please, please can i eat you out, baby? ‘s all i want.”

jisung agreed to take it slow, but he's got you half dressed and soaking your bed. maybe you should be mad, but god, the pleasure jisung was giving you was addicting. you weren’t afraid to give yourself away to him at this point.

“i want it.” you nod, and jisung kisses your hand again.

“gotta give my girl what she wants then, yeah?”

© dollracha do not copy reupload or repost.

[yesmissnyx]

I brought this up in a reply, but I wanted to make a post about it because it's an important aspect of kink and self-expression in general:

When you're by yourself, you don't have to mask.

You don't have to censor yourself. You don't have to imagine what others would think if they were there right now.

You can do whatever harmless weird, horny, gross, silly stuff you want.

Experiment with doing things that you'd never do in front of another person. Experiment with things that you'd love to do with another person, if only you weren't scared. Wear what you want when nobody can see you. Say what you want, out loud, when nobody can hear you. Watch, play and listen to whatever you want.

Nobody will know, unless you tell them!

Thought crimes aren't real.

Life is so much better and so much more fun when you slowly transform the critic in your head into a voice that goes, "Hey, wouldn't it be fun/sexy/cool if I [did X thing]? I should try it."

You don't have to feel shame over what you do when you're enjoying your own company!

Maybe you'll hate it or get the ick after trying it, but then you've learned something about yourself and you don't have to try it again. Laugh about it, if you can. Open yourself up to new experiences with the knowledge that you'll be fine even if something makes you uncomfortable.

It gets easier the more you do it. I promise.

Life is way too short to not even give yourself the opportunity to do something you might love. There are enough judgmental assholes out there who would love to tear you down. You don't need to be one for yourself 💕

[shinra-makonoid]

Okay I don't specifically agree with OP's post but???

This is just homophobia. Most gay people don't look at two hetero kissing and feel like they're watching tomatoes rotting, and they're still very gay. Having an adverse reaction to two people kissing isn't a sexuality, it's a phobia. You were never used to as a child seeing two guys kissing, you might have had a specific conditioning that led you to think it's bad/gross, and so now you feel that. Most gay people have been conditioned to see hetero kissing, it's the norm, and therefore don't really see any problem with that.

Yes, most men are raised to be homophobic. That's not a sexuality. I get extremely distressed and grossed out when I see mushrooms, because I am phobic of them. Normal people don't feel that way towards mushrooms. Normal people don't feel that way towards men kissing.

Sexuality is being sexually aroused by people. It has nothing to do with distaste/phobia, which is probably cultural in majority. If you're not sexually aroused by men, you're not attracted to men.

The post itself says:

The study even uses the word "stress" and talks about socialized disgust:

so strange to me that some people aren't bisexual

[cuntlips42]

jj maybank x bsf!reader *·˚

trying to relax on a 100 degree day in kildare is just about as hard as it sounds. the air is thick and humid in your lungs as you inhale, and the slippery slope of your back dribbles with sweat, soaking through your top and making it stick uncomfortably close to your skin. the sky is roamed by huge flies flitting erratically, bumping into your body and every so often, flying into your eyes and nose searching for moisture. annoyingly, each of your frustrated swats are doing absolutely nothing to deter them.

you’re attention gets grabbed by a small commotion coming from a table a few feet in front of you. a group of 3 kook girls sitting together, one now standing, moaning and groaning about how her now, iced tea-stained shirt, is ruined and 'absolutely unsalvageable'. her two just as kooky friends sit pliantly at the sticky white outdoor table, watching in disdain, sending derogatory glares to the young waitress.

you've seen her before - she's a pogue girl who lives a few houses down from you and has been in a few of your classes over the years. she also works at the wreck with kie, apparently unluckily for her.

she's a sweet girl. jess? wait no, joana?

j...something flutters hurriedly around the table with her mouth agape, attempting to somehow mend her collision with the customer that ended up with the kook girl covered in peach iced tea. you can't help but feel bad for the waitress, sure the kook is now sticky and probably a little gross, but it was obviously an accident, and from the way she's blabbering on, you'd think the girl just shot her puppy or something.

"oh god! i'm so, so, so sorry! here, let me-let me help you!" the waitress reaches for the cloth she placed on the table where the 3 girls are sat, before turning back to the kook and attempting to wipe off the excess drink that is now dripping from just about every surface on the top half of the girl's body. before the fabric can touch her, the kook slaps the cloth out of the girl’s hand.

"don't fuckin' touch me with that dirty rag! jesus christ - what is wrong with you? are you fucked in the head?" she scoffs slightly, ringing out her skirt before turning her head back to the two girls who sit quietly behind her "all those fucking dirty pogue diseases must've finally gone to your brain if you think i’m letting you come anywhere near me. clean this up before i step on glass and cut myself."

the girls behind her laugh loudly at her comment, and the pogue seems as if she’s on the verge of tears, probably from a mix of embarrassment and plain offense. sympathy claws at your throat as you watch the girl swallow and lean down to pick up the shards of glass from the smashed drink. you draw your eyes to the window of the wreck, eyeing your friends laughing joyously from a table inside. you were only supposed to duck out for a minute to answer a phone call from your mom - leaving the rest of the pogues sat inside feasting on whatever kie managed to convince her dad to feed you. you don’t usually get involved in altercations with kooks - being taught from a very young age that that is a fight you rarely ever win, but watching the girl half-hazardly scoop shards of glass into the cloth she once had thrown over her shoulder, you find your feet dragging you towards the scene.

as you reach down and start helping the girl shovel glass into the rag, her head snaps to you with a momentarily shocked expression, before giving you a soft, watery smile in recognition that you tried to return. you couldn’t help but feel bad for the girl - it was obvious that she found this whole situation mortifying, and in particular kook fashion, the girl just had to make it a bigger deal then it was.

the door to the wreck flies open, kiara tumbling through the door, apron still wrapped around her waist despite her shift ending an hour ago. she looks to where you were once perched against the wall, eyebrows furrowing when her eyes zero in on you and the girl knelt gingerly beside you, calling out your name in questioning “-julie? you guys okay?”

julie…..right.

“yeah –  we’re ok! just broken glass.” julie croaks out in response. you turn back to your friend, raising your palm above your brows to shield your eyes from the afternoon sun, trying your best to give her a look that somehow translates to ‘not really all good- might need help’. her eyes widen a millimetre, before she looks over your shoulder, lips pressed together in slight concern at the sight of the kooks.

“do you mind getting us a broom?” you ask simply, voice soft yet carrying.

kiara glances back over your shoulder again, seemingly debating leaving you alone, before giving you a short nod in response and swiftly turning and running back into the restaurant. for a moment you forgot about them, but the kooks manage to make themselves known, laughing between themselves, legs kicked up onto the table, muttering about how "the rats obviously stick together" and giggling and gasping afterwards like the girl who said it was an original comedic genius.

jesus.

involuntarily, you choke out a scoff, attention still drawn to the shards of glass splayed along the ground.

“something funny, pogue?” you stiffen slightly, eyes flitting back up to the table, meeting the gaze of the blonde, slightly less iced tea soaked girl who’s glaring at you, one eyebrow cocked and a freshly manicured fingernail tapping against the tabletop. she says nothing, waiting for a response from you.

you spare a glance at the girl beside you, her head down and hands shaking slightly as tears well up in her eyes, and your heart breaks slightly. not wanting to accelerate things, you mutter out a soft “no”, the word tasting sour on your tongue, but you know better than to initiate a fight with a kook. plus- you’re main focus is just getting julie away from these crazies. she definitely deserves a break after this.

seemingly satisfied with your answer, the girl responds curtly “clean up the mess and then go away and get me a new drink.” she spits, eyes tearing away from yours to glare at the girl next to you. “it’s bad enough this idiot poured the first one all over me.”

your brows furrow in disbelief and words start tumbling out your mouth, against your better judgement, “jesus- do you have to be so rude all the time? it was obviously an accident, and she’s already apologised.” you crawl to your feet, standing level with the girl leaning against the table. the kook’s eyes narrow, nostril’s flaring in anger.

oh fuck.

her voice is loud and high pitched when she starts speaking again, stomping towards you, causing you to step back. “who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that?”

the loud commotion draws the attention of some customers in the wreck- your friends included. you see them push through the door in the corner of your eye, kie in tow with a broom in hand, before they come to stand behind you supportively, ready to step in if necessary. john b’s eyebrows are furrowed, obviously confused by the situation and how you, of all people, managed to end up in it, pope is seemingly already stressed, hands splayed on his head above his ‘heywards’ cap, and jj has his hands in his pockets and a smirk playing at his lips. of fucking course.

the kook steps towards you again, getting in your face. julie stumbles sideways at the movement, still knelt down in an attempt to make herself small.

a sickening smirk graces the girls features, a lightbulb practically lighting up above her head, making your stomach twist. she grasps a strand of your hair between her hands, and you swallow before your yanking your body out of her touch.

jesus, pull it together.

the kook spares a glance to the gathering crowd behind you, smirk widening before she turns back to you “i don’t know why you think you can talk to me like that you know, - i’ve heard about you.. where you come from.. and i’m not talking about the cut.” your brows furrow in confusion – what is she talking about?

“i've heard that your mommy.. used to have a lot of fun back in the day" she cuts herself off with a malicious giggle, looking briefly over your shoulder to the 3 boys stood a few feet behind you. your teeth grit at the obvious implication. “guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree” she turns behind her to meet the chuckles of the two girls sat behind her. your face heats in embarrassment, and you feel your body light up with anger. how dare she?

when the girl turns back to face you, probably to utter another 'clever' remark, her face instead meets your fist.

she yelps pathetically, falling to the ground, hands instantly covering her face. gasps sound out from behind you, as well as a few whoops and hollers from what you're guessing are your friends. the 2 girls quickly jump to their feet, rushing over to the girl now rolling on the ground in pain, cupping her nose, crying and mumbling about how you’re a “crazy fucking pogue!”

pain stings through your knuckles, travelling through your veins to the base of your hand, your mouth agape a silent groan. holy shit that hurt!

it’s pretty much common knowledge that getting punched in the face would hurt, but nobody ever talks about how much it hurts punching someone in the face – and they definitely should, it would’ve impacted your decision.

the girls start frantically screaming, begging someone to help their friend amongst cries of how psycho you are. your feet are stuck in place and you're holding your wrist in the other hand, mouth agape in pain, when someone suddenly wraps their arms around your waist, yanking you in the air and chucking you over his shoulder, pulling you away from the scene as the bloody-nosed kook stands to her feet and starts screaming along with the other girls. “aaalright i think that’s enough for you girly - time to flee!” a goofy smile graces your face despite yourself at the sound of the familiar voice, and you start giggling in realisation of the fact that you just punched someone in the face – and god did it feel fucking good.

you get carried to the twinkie, bouncing over jj’s shoulder watching in awe as your friends bound away from the scene you inadvertently caused. the blonde boy quickly yanks you back over his shoulder, sitting you messily in the back of the van, before john b starts quickly speeding away from the wreck in response to the ‘go go go go’ echoing from the backseat. kie’s the first to speak, turning her body to take in your smile and already bruising knuckles incredulously from the passenger seat besides john b. “what the fuck? i can’t believe you just did that.” at the sight of your cheeky grin, her own lips curve up and her eyes crinkle at the force. “you really need to stop hanging around jj- he’s obviously a bad influence.” she looks to the boy next to you, giving him a fake glare. he just flips her off, making her roll her eyes and turn back to face the road.

you gulp, eyes wide “was it really that bad?” you begin to feel a little guilty, looking around the group for a response.

the aforementioned boy only throws his arm around your shoulder from his seat beside yours, a proud aura radiating off of him. “nah- you’re good, baby. she deserved that shit. you’re like our very own lil’ boxer” he playfully starts squaring up, fists raised, making you laugh and knock his shoulder with your own.

“i think i’m all punched out, actually. nobody told me it hurts so bad.” you wince, looking down at your knuckles and flexing them slowly, making pain spread out throughout your palm.

“well you basically slam chunks of cartilage and bone with your fist, it’s going to hurt like hell. plus, it looks like you hit her pretty hard. her nose was bleeding- i actually think you broke it.” pope offers, his gaze soft in attempt to comfort you from his seat across from you and jj.

you look up at him in shock, eyebrows shooting up to your hairline and you exhale quickly “hopefully she doesn’t try and hunt me down or somethin’ - i am not paying for her nose job.” jj chuckles besides you, grabbing your sore hand to look over your knuckles.

“you’ll be fine, babe- especially with that fiery right hook of yours, damn.” you feel your cheeks heat a touch at the pet name- it’s not unusual, and yet it still makes your lashes flutter and your chest tighten.

“yeah. besides, she should be grateful, she needed a nose job anyway. now she’s got an excuse.” john b mumbles from the driver’s seat, eyes still trained on the road. kie gasps in disbelief, hitting him in the shoulder. pope snorts, causing the brunette to break, smiling widely at the boy in the driver’s seat. john b smiles smugly, clearly proud of his comment, before using his fingers to mime out a large nose near his face, earning another shove from kiara, before shooting you a wink in the rearview mirror. you can’t help but laugh happily, subconsciously leaning into jj’s side as he strokes his fingers over your sore knuckles.

please send asks! id love to chat w you!! *·˚

[hw4-l1z]

I really liked “things dom!m!reader does that turn sub! LeeKnow on” can you please make a similar one about Han or seungmin

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"Things you do that turn him on"

Sub!Jisung x Dom!m!reader

Cw: gross boy sung// sweat licking// manhandling// quite a bit of sweat talk ngl sorry// slightly toxic reader// aggressive reader// choking// pain kink// humiliation// mentions of readers body being muscular// size kink???

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When you're angry

God he loves when you get mad

Not annoyed or upset or slightly pissed off. No

I mean FURIOUS.

When you can FEEL the anger radiating off you

When you snap at people or even go as far as getting into a fight

Slamming doors, throwing things, that aggressive tone of voice, the scowl, the clenched jaw

He shouldn't find your aggression so hot but he can't help it

He knows it's a toxic trait of yours and he shouldn't be with someone like that

But you look too hot

He'll just stare with lust filled eyes

And once your both alone he'd ask you to take it out on him

He wants you to choke him till he feels like his brains gonna pop out his skull

He wants you to slam him against the wall and have your way with him

He wants you to hurt him and leave marks

And you'll do just that

When you're sweaty

I'm a big believer in gross sung soooo

Just after a heavy workout you're absolutely DRENCHED in sweat

It's dripping down from your neck all the way down your naked torso until it stops at your waistband

He just watched each bead of sweat and gulps

He wants to lick it SO bad

He's almost drooling

His mouth is watering just thinking about the salty taste

He'd drag you to the bathrooms before you wipe the sweat off you and clean it up himself

Dropping to his knees and desperately licking your stomach

You love your gross boy

When you 'bully' him

You're a very playful person

And you like to annoy, push and poke fun into him

But what you don't know is that he gets off at the humiliation

Pointing at him and laughing for something he said

Telling others about it and getting them to laugh at him with you

Or even when you jokingly try to trip him or when you gently push him into a bush

He loves being manhandled by you

So when you grab him and put him in a headlock he tries his best not to moan out loud

He just enjoys being pushed, pulled, grabbed and hit by you

When you wear his clothes

Now the things is...

You're much bigger than him (which drives ji insane as it is)

But his clothes are always very oversized anyways

But they fit you almost perfectly and by perfectly I mean they're slightly tight around your body

So when you wear his shirts you can see...alot

Your muscular chest is perfectly outlined and you can see a faint print of your abs

You wear them to work out sometimes so by the time your back home they're drenched

Which as I said...sungie is gross and would go crazy over this

Of course he still washes them much to his disappointment but there's always a slight smell of you remaining

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[ruruumin]

the challenge.

₊˚ ᗢ itoshi rin x gn! reader.

⤷ a fighter and a lover all the same.

rin always marches to the beat of his own drum. he learned that if he wanted something, he needed to take it for himself. whether it be first pickings on his team to the foods he wanted to eat that day, everything needed to be within his control. it always had to be him. no one else. it must be his hands because without that sense of security, he is lost and aimless in a world that intends on drowning him.

its a monster he continues to feed with each and every goal. it satisfies a sick desire of clawing his way to the top. the same kind that has him waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, reaching out with arms raised, thinking to himself: how much longer until i can’t do it anymore? what leg will be pulled next that could cripple his career, what anger-dincued rage will put him into a red card that penalizes his career? for someone who says he’ll do everything himself, he yearns for the presence of someone else. 

but he keeps pushing himself, time and time again. unless there was a sore in his leg that had him wincing in pain every time he sat, he wasn’t training hard enough. until the gruesome memory of one winter night remains at the back of his head, he will continue on this lonesome journey, walking, running, sprinting to the end until his legs are nothing but stubs he has sanded down to the bone. 

he wholeheartedly believed no one existed for him. no one to hold him when he claims the world cup for himself. no one to hold him when his bedroom is too frigid to be hospitable. he can chase after sae for as many years as time allows, but is there anyone chasing after him, telling him that he’s the best they’ve ever gotten? he wants someone to fuel his ego the same way sae has with his adoring fans. he wants someone to at the very least care about him. the unlikeable, cruel and frozen side of him makes him believe, that no matter what life throws at him, he will be the most unlovable man in the world. and that no amount of chocolate and tears on valentines day can make him feel otherwise.

and yet theres you.

so perfectly raw and beautiful it destroys him inside. hes falling apart by the seams every time you pull him back into your arms, squeezing his body like an orange before he bursts in liquid tears. the love you hold for him is so fiery he can imagine himself as a candle, wings melting underneath the radiant beams you pour over him like a waterfall.

he knows he is cruel. it makes him want to rip his heart out every time you look up at him with those glistening eyes, full of unfiltered emotions that he’s yet to understand. but his words are always stuck on the tip of his tongue, so arguments happen more than he likes them to. despite this, underneath all the hesitance and gross feelings he shoves down his throat, you’ll always find a way to finish his sentences. you finish what he has started. you continue to dig the hole he’s made, even when it feels like he has given up. 

“you don’t get to push me away,” he remembers you saying. you pulled down on his collar with enough force to permanently crinkle his shirt. 

he loves your eyes because of what shines through. with a face of determination he imagines himself having on the pitch, you’re clutching onto him like hes the wishing star on your tree, the final piece, your one and only. you wanted him, not sae, not isagi, not anyone else on that awful team, he was the only one you wanted to see win. and god, what else could he do but stare back at you, tongue dry and lips curling upwards with admiration? 

he shouts and you scream back. he bites and you bite him back. that is the relationship rin wants most of all, for someone to knock him down to his knees, to ground him back to reality so he doesn’t drown in the darkness of his mind. he needs someone who isn’t afraid of getting hurt, isn’t scared of a little blood and bruises, and most of all: pull him down with a rope and tell him, theres no one else i want but you.

because he wants a fighter. someone who would die with him if he just asked nicely. someone he could depend on with his entire life and soul. and if you could, would you wait for him, after he has sailed through every island and conquered challenges foreign to man? would you unweave your threads just to keep him within reach? can you continue to dream of him, even when he’s far away, trying to beat every man senseless in a stupid game all set up by ego? 

"you’ll win," you whisper, raising your hand, you touch his cheek. the warmth of your palm makes him want to pull away, searing from the heat that beckons him forth, "you’ll come back to me, you always will," a kiss shoots him into cloud nine, and i’ll be here waiting. 

and there he goes. shooting off into the stars, ready to come back to you a hero you would bask in your warmth and love. for a boy who has dreamt of being the villain of every man’s journey, for once in his life, he felt as if he had his own story to tell. he could burn up and die here, on the field surrounded by men who wanted nothing more but to devour him like the wolves they are, but he has a reason to keep coming home, wounds and all. 

so you’re here waiting for love, ready to fall in love with him, over and over again, even if he thinks he has changed as a man, you’re waiting.

[gooobraghhh]

This is sincere, even if it may not come off that way

I’ve been engaging in gender fuckery for many years, and I’ve never felt even remotely comfortable with my body in a sexual way- I have never had an orgasm mostly due to dysphoria and feeling disgusting when touching myself or thinking about sex, but I’ve been stalking your blog for several weeks and it has helped my relationship with myself leaps and bounds, and I’m thinking pretty heavily about maybe going on some dates and putting myself out there.

As I’ve been doing my ✨self reflection ✨ I was feeling really gross about exploring my sexuality via porn bc most of what I was finding within the realm of trans people (esp trans people with my genitals) felt super fetishy and as though trans folk are nothing more than sex objects, and while you do an AMAZING job of making me feel like a sex object (I a way I never thought I could aka in a positive way), it’s really clear that you think of your fiancé and the other people you interact with and talk about as people.

(Also- im only a few months younger than you and it’s cray cray to me that you’re engaged- it really makes me feel like there is hope for me and for other trans people who might be a little bit later bloomers- I hope you have the best engagement and if you want to get married I hope your marriage is even better)

🫶🫶

This is so so so sweet to hear. So much trans porn has just horrible vibes and I really wanted to make some stuff that was validating and I’m glad that’s come across and helped people feel more comfortable sexually. Hope dating goes well for you and definitely don’t compare your relationship to mine, I happened to be very successful with a guy I met at age 11 which is not going to be true for most people.

You’ll find someone though and make sure not to settle. I’m not with my fiancé because he’s the first trans person I saw or something. I’m with him because he’s the only person I’ve ever met that I feel like actually knows everything about me, good, bad, ugly, and loves and appreciates me for all of those things. I’m with him because he has helped through every struggle I’ve dealt with for years and years always making me feel better the best he can and not getting jaded. There’s just something that clicks when you realize you’re with a person who truly loves you for you and vis versa. Sorry for sappy side tangent but I just want trans people to experience feeling sincerely loved since that’s hard to come by for us usually. You’ll find someone like that but you definitely have to put yourself out there to do it.

[kathleenkatmary]

I will say it over and over again until I have no voice to say it with... FRAMING. MATTERS.

EDIT: Okay, I'm going to expand on this because I remembered that there have been multiple times when I've said this that someone truly did not know what I'm talking about.

Framing matters. The way a narrative frames a character and their actions matters. In so many different ways. It matters to the message the writers are trying to send. It matter to the message that is actually sent. It matter to what the character and their actions end up meaning or representing with in the narrative. And it matters to how the audience perceives and feels about the character.

Obviously, that last bit is what matters here. The way a character and their actions are framed within the narrative can be consistent with the things they do and say, or it can be inconsistent with the things they do and say. And Spike and Xander actually serve as a really good demonstration of this. As has already been pointed out, when Spike does something bad and toxic and fucked up, more often than not it's framed as such. Yes, from pretty early on he was written to be far more complex than just the unambiguous bad guy, and from season 4 on in particular he's given an arc that gives him more and more chances to do good things and to do the right thing, and for increasingly less selfish reasons. But the narrative never treats those things as some sort of get out of jail free card that frames everything he does as good and not selfish. His toxic bullshit is still framed as toxic bullshit. Are there a few moments here and there where things he does aren't appropriately framed? Sure, probably. But you're going to find that in a pretty much any show, because no show is perfect.

Xander, on the other hand, is pretty regularly (as the poster above says, at least 50% of the time) framed in a way that is not consistent with the way he behaves. Not only is he framed as the loveable loser harmless best friend, he's also more than once framed in ways that treat him doing the literal bare minimum of not being a horrible person as though he's some kind of ultimate good guy hero (him not taking advantage of Buffy when she was under the love spell and the way he's treated for that is a great example) or that treat his really gross and toxic ideas and attitudes as being completely correct (the bullshit he spouted when Riley gave Buffy the ultimatum). Even when his attitudes or behavior is framed appropriately, it's usually stuff that's brushed off pretty easily, even when it has dire consequences (like him not telling Buffy that Willow was going to do the spell to give Angel his soul back).

Now, of course, framing isn't the only thing that determines how an audience will react to characters. For one thing, there are plenty of instances of fans just going crazy over characters who are framed as being heroes or desirable romantic leads even though that framing is inconsistent with how they actually behave and the things they actually do. And there are plenty of other things that go into how an audience reacts to a character. There are certain character traits, from aspects of their personality to just bits of their design, that will make a character more appealing. Especially when it comes to online audiences.

So yeah, Spike as a character hitting a lot of those "fandom favorite" boxes almost certainly contributes to people favoring him to at least some extent. But I think the framing really is the big thing here that makes people so much more likely to favor Spike, and so much more likely to call out Xander. The narrative is pretty regularly calling out Spike. His behavior is weird and creepy and the narrative points that out regularly. So it's not really something the fandom needs to do. Going online and being like "so, Spike kidnapping Buffy, tying her up, and telling her he's going to kill his ex girlfriend in front of her to prove his love is so creepy and toxic, right?" isn't really necessary because... yeah. The narrative knows it, and therefor so does the vast majority of the audience. But with Xander that is not something the narrative usually does. When he, for example, condescendingly corrects Anya, the narrative doesn't treat that critically, it treats it as a funny thing that Xander is probably right to do. When he agrees with everything Riley said when he gave Buffy that ultimatum and treats Buffy like she's the problem in that relationship, it doesn't frame him as wrong, or as projecting so many of his own issues with women and with Buffy in particular onto the situation. He's framed as the man talking sense into Buffy. So it does fall on the audience to call it out, and to call the show out for not doing it.

Like I said, inconsistent framing isn't something that an audience always notices, but with a show like Buffy, where a lot of - really, I would even say most of - the characters are usually appropriately framed, and where you do have an instance of a guy's creepy, toxic behavior appropriately framed, I think that makes it easier for viewers to clock it when there's a character that isn't being appropriately framed. Even if viewers doing consciously realize it's why they're reacting negatively to a character. Personally, I think that's also at least part of the reason a lot of people don't react well to Riley. It's not because he's 'boring' or because they ship Buffy with someone else and he 'gets in the way', or whatever. At least, not completely. I really think the way his character was framed, especially in season 5, was often not really in line with what was actually happening with the character, and people could feel that.

Are there Spike fans who just completely ignore it all, ignore the framing and all the shitty, creepy, toxic shit Spike has done so that they can feel like they're allowed to like him 'guilt free', or so they can engage with the character completely uncritically? Sure. Of course. Any character with any amount of fanbase is going to have people who do that. It's just a part of fandom. And I'm not going to act like Spike doesn't check a lot of boxes of typical "fandom favorite" types, and that is going to make people more likely to be drawn to him as a character. But there's a lot of critical analysis of Buffy that happens, even just in online fandom spaces, analysis that goes far deeper than just that kind of more surface level fandom engagement. And even then, so much of what you see is incredibly critical of Xander and the way he's written while being much more favorable to Spike and the way he's written. That's not just fangirls ignoring the bad stuff their fav does while dogpiling on another character. That's people recognizing the problems with Xander's writing and the very stark difference in the framing between Xander and Spike.

At the end of the day, fictional characters are not real people. The way they're written and how audiences react to them is about a lot more than just the way a character behaves and the things they say and do. There's a lot more that goes into it, and framing is a big part of it.

ok I’m only on season 5 but can someone explain to me how Xander is the universally hated one for, from what I can tell, some bad choices and worse jokes, while Spike, the fandom’s babygirl and beloved heartthrob, literally stalks Buffy, holds her captive, and then commissions a robot version of her when it’s made clear he’ll never have her. like someone please explain it because the math is not mathing.

[genderqueerdykes]

Hey hello! this is probably a weird ask but I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma? when I've heard stuff like "you might gain weight going on T" it's been giving me nothing but joy for the future. Like I actively Want To Get Bigger? I'm really skinny now, and have been all my life, and I keep getting comments from people being like "woahh you're so thin I wish I was as skinny as you" and like. I feel bad for wanting to be larger? I know fat people face a LOT of problems and discrimination due to their size, and it's not like I'm not aware of that, but I'm worried this is some weird fetishizing thing I need to unpack. me wanting to be fat that is, and loving the idea of gaining weight on T. like, going from skinny hairless girl > fat hairy man is something I really really want, and is basically a transition goal atp. But I haven't said anything about this bc I'm worried this is disrespectful to fat folk or just downright gross?? idk

that is not fetishizing, you're okay, you should never be made to feel bad for wanting to be bigger, i'm so sorry people are treating you that way

they are objectifying your body and i am so sorry. your body is yours, not theirs. the thing a lot of people don't want to accept is that some people genuinely want to be larger, chubby, fat, and so on. some people genuinely want to be a weight that's higher than what's considered "normal" and that's genuinely not a problem. like i don't get how people don't understand that someone's weight impacts them and them alone. and no it doesn't impact their doctors, because doctors need to be open to working with all body types

people are so possessive and weird about body weight. people feel so entitled to each others' bodies that they will take someone else's weight gain personally. as if it's an affront to them. (or are they upset because this affects whether or not they're attracted to you...?) even people who claim to be fat liberation will get pissed off at people who want to gain weight on purpose. there's nothing wrong with gaining weight on purpose. it's not going to inherently cause health problems for you, and if it does, you can tackle that when it comes. but people are so weirdly possessive of others' bodies. like. i don't think this behavior comes from a standpoint of concern for that person's health.

we are so fucked up about weight that i genuinely think that when they see a well fed fat person they get pissed off because that can't be them. that person is too concerned about dieting and losing weight and toning up and cutting back calories and going without and skipping meals and ignoring cravings. like. it's a projection of how that person feels about their own weight. their taking out their issues about not being able to eat what they want and be the size they want. so much of this comes from internalized fatphobia. most people who get pissed off when fat people enjoy being fat and enjoy eating are people who desperately want to be able to eat what they want, too, but get mad when they see someone who's doing it because they just don't have the courage. a lot of the time it's jealousy

also keep in mind that a lot of people actually like being "overweight" "obese" and so on because they have issues with disordered eating, gastrointestinal issues, anxiety, personality disorders, cancer, chronic illness, or anything else that might lead someone to struggle to keep on weight. for some people, being fat is actually safer.

a lot of people who go on T do so with the goal in mind to be a big fat hairy guy. i was already fat, but i that was my goal as well. i wanted to stay fat. i wanted to add some muscle and then stay fat, which is what i'm doing. so many other trans guys want this. i'm sure many will speak up on this post!

anyways, i'm sorry people have made you feel like that. it's your body you get to choose what weight you feel the most comfortable at. ive never been bothered by my weight. i don't feel held back by it. this is just the weight ive been for almost my entire life. i don't care if the way i look offends someone else, i'm the one who sees me all day long, not them. i'm gonna look the way i want for me, not for anyone else. good luck anon, feel free to come back any time. you are allowed to do whatever you want with your body

[oopsiedaisiesbaby]

I personally think when it comes to AUs we need more bitch Gale. Like him being so repressed and deprived and so far in the closet and in denial about it that when he first meets John and has such an instant attraction to him that it both terrifies and angers him and so he brings it all out on poor John and is just an absolute CUNT to him for no apparent reason to anyone on the outside. But John being John LIKES it and just eggs it on and asks for more.

Like I’m imagining they first meet at a coffee shop or something (modern day) and the instant John first lays eyes on Gale he just knows he has to have him, WILL have him, is just thinking “MINE. HAVE TO MAKE HIM MINE.” And when he realizes that it’s going to be a near impossible task, it only makes him that more determined and dedicated and makes it all even hotter, makes Gale even more desirable to him. John’s always loved a challenge, and boy is Gale one.

I’m imagining John just walks up to him and starts flirting obnoxiously right off the bat, using all the cheesiest most cliche lines imaginable like taps him on the shoulder where he’s in line for his coffee and Gale turns around and John goes, “Did it hurt?” and Gale just looks at him confused with his brows furrowed and goes “Huh?” And John has the stupidest smile on his face when he answers “When you fell down from Heaven” and Gale doesn’t think he’s ever rolled his eyes so hard but he also can’t help himself from blushing and also why wasn’t that a huge turnoff for him and instead it has butterflies fluttering and heat pulsing deep in his belly?

Gale has been hit on by men before of course, but he’s managed to avoid it for the most part and when it does happen it’s usually by much older creepy middle aged men that just make him feel super uncomfortable, nothing like how he’s feeling right now with John.

“Does that usually work for you? You usually get laid with that line?” He asks John in an unimpressed tone. “I don’t know, I’ve never tried to before. Is it working?” John replies, still with that stupid ass smirk on his face. Gale wants to either smack it off or kiss it off, he can’t decide which. Gale scoffs in response and says “In your fucking dreams.” “Oh in my dreams we’re far past this stage already, sweetheart. We’re definitely not talking much, or standing, that’s for sure.” Gale makes an exaggerated gagging noise in his throat, trying to cover up how his flush has gotten even redder. “Gross. You’re a pervert.” “Only for you, baby.”

And it just keeps going but Gale can’t seem to make himself walk away or actually tell John to get lost. And maybe John buys him his coffee despite his protests and then says he can pay him back by sitting with him as he drinks it, and Gale pretends to be annoyed about it and like it’s a huge chore to be asked to do so. And as they sit together John is even more obnoxious, nauseatingly flirting and hitting on Gale and Gale has no idea how to handle him but he doesn’t let it show, he’s a stone cold bitch on the outside or as much as he can make himself be.

He doesn’t want John to think he’s enjoying this too much so after John makes a sexual innuendo about Gale’s mouth and lips he snaps something like “There’s no way your cock is as big as you clearly think it is with the way you’re talking” and John is taken aback for a second because he didn’t realize this man with the face of an angel could have so much bite in him but he quickly recovers and gets a huge smile on his face because oh boy, he’s gonna be a handful and so much fun. “Jesus Christ, the mouth on you, baby. What other surprises are you hiding, huh?” And Gale bites back again, actually getting angry now because why does John find this all so funny and cute? “I’m never gonna let you fuck me. You’re NEVER gonna fuck me. Understand?” And John is like “Is that what you think I’m trying to do?” And Gale sits back and crosses his arms across his chest, scoffs and rolls his eyes and looks away from John. “Clearly.” And then turns back to look at John with venom piercing in his eyes, and John realizes that he’s actually angry. VERY angry. “And it’s never. gonna. fucking. happen.” And John just laughs and says “We’ll see about that, sweet cheeks.” Which just has Gale fuming even harder. Now he’s red in the face from anger as well as embarrassment and arousal.

And then somehow they keep running into each other (John probably has his schedule memorized at some point) or John is able to get Gale’s name and number and refuses to give up and keeps pursuing him despite Gale being nothing but cold and mean to him. Except when he’s not. And John knows, KNOWS he wants it just as badly. But John loves the challenge, the game, the push and pull, the hot and cold, the mixed signals, the teasing, the chase of it all, gets off on it, and secretly (or not as secretly as he thinks) so does Gale.

And of course somehow it ends up with them months later with John fucking Gale silly, making him come and cry on his cock (and Gale will deny that ever happened). The first time they fuck Gale still refuses to admit he wants it, still calling John a pervert, an idiot, etc. between moans and claiming his cock is definitely not big enough to even feel inside of him while he’s stuffed full to the brim and his voice is shaking and breathy with it.

First paragraph in and I'm already hooked 🤣 Let 👏 Gale 👏 Be 👏 a 👏 Bitch 👏 2025 👏 But also just the thought of him being so repressed that the intensity of his attraction makes him decide to hate John on sight is 😘 And OF COURSE John likes it, he pushes harder and harder because he wants Gale to be even cuntier 🙌

But also, the added layer of John being instantly in love but falling even harder because he knows he's gonna have to work for it 😍 Gale being confusedly attracted to John's bull shit is everything, I think it would make him lean into "must be mean and push him away so he can't hurt me" vibe even harder because not only does he not want to be attracted to a man but he sure as hell doesn't want to be attracted to one with pickup lines like THAT lol

John’s persistence would both annoy but endear Gale and I think that would make him even more mad… I just love it 🥰 I love the coffee shop meet ugly but this would also work so so so well with them being roommates in basic, the forced proximity and interacting just ahhh❤️

And of course it ends in sex where they're still trying to talk shit but it just gets them off even harder, they're soulmates like that 😉🤣

[mikewheelerswatch]

my biggest byler hc is that not only did mike call will while he was away but he did ALOT.

prior to this right after he left i think maybe he sent a letter to will a signed it love mike. then he got a letter from el signed the same thing and goes shit i shouldnt have done that thats gay.

anyways he calls him a lot like multiple times a day for months. but due to the fact that vecna was trying to cause issues, the line would always go to busy or voice mail. but after a bit, the phone would connect for a few seconds or something and then hang up.

the one time when mike actually got a person on the phone, its jonathan and he says that will is busy and cant talk right now.

and mike thinks that he's ignoring him and is super hurt by it.

he cant send letters bc letter gate and gay but he ends up sending one that says something along the lines of

lol i keep trying to call u and i keep missing you. so please be by the phone on this date at this time.

and this letter gets lost or stolen in the mail. but he sends it along with a letter to el and el responds to her letter so mike assumes that will must not want to talk to him. that he has new friends and has forgotten about him or thinks hes annoying or wtv. so he stops calling. but he keeps writing letters and stores them in a shoe box in his closet under a bunch of stuff so no one will find it. and every letter is adressed and has a stamp on it. 100% ready to send. and if hes writing a letter to el and will, wills letter gets the stamp even though he knows he'll never send it.

the day of the scheduled call, will doesnt pick up. mike goes upstairs and pulls out the box and just fuckin looses it and completely crashes out and starts kicking it or wtv. and general break down stuff. and he thinks that will must have gotten werided out or grossed out by the way he signed it and he ruined everything

anyways thats why he's weird at the airport

This is def my favorite so far

[love-takes-work]

coworker apparently thinks Garnet is Harley Quinn

A very old funny interaction with clueless coworker (whose name is blacked out in the blue rectangles), in screencaps from my social media when it happened.

And just for context, this dude just could not talk his way out of a wet paper bag. I'm sure it's partially just awkwardness (which I have never minded at all), but a lot of it was this really gross disrespectful PROMPTING that he would do in all of his interactions with me. He'd say something with no context, something we'd never spoken about, and expect me to "catch on." (Examples: "So! Any news?" "About what?" "Well weren't we waiting for an ANSWER on that?" "On what?" [scoffing, snuffling, shaking his head exaggeratedly, sighing and walking away]. Or he'd drop a paper on my desk. I'd ask him what it was. He'd wordlessly POINT at it. I'd ask him again what it is. He'd pick it up, sighing aggressively, rattle it around, and say "YOU left this in the COPIER!!" I had not left it in the copier and it was not mine. He would then holler about how is HE supposed to know that and stomp away, and then someone else would come looking for their papers in the copier and they'd be confused why I had them.) He did NOT do this with my boss or most of the other people we worked with. Just me. I guess because I'm the office blonde and usually the only woman in the room.

Anyway, he was in the top 10 of annoying people I've worked with and here is an irritating story.

And then another one a long-ass time later:

Transcript:

Pic 1:

There's no way he's a real person. C'mon, life, quit foolin' around here.

[Redacted] came up to my desk and said he wanted to ask me a question, and then hesitantly hemmed and hawed his way through false starts that sounded like "I was wondering . . . um last night . . . I was thinking . . . there was this thing. . . . So, do you know Amy . . . Quinn?"

I do not know Amy Quinn.

He seemed surprised.

Then he begins explaining that she's in some movie and he thought I liked her.

Sorry, no.

Pic 2:

But then he elaborates. "Amy" is one of the characters in a movie he's just seen and he thought I was a fan of the character and wanted me to know that he liked the movie. And further elaboration made it clear that he . . . was actually talking about Harley Quinn.

(I haven't seen any movies with her in them, but yeah, I know who she is.)

I asked why he thought I had a connection with her and he was like "isn't that her on your cup?"

****Fuuuuuuuuuuck I am so offended****

[Image of Harley Quinn next to coffee mug featuring Garnet of Steven Universe. They do not at all resemble one another, but both wear bodysuits featuring a red leg and a black leg.]

Pic 3:

You gotta be kidding me!!

[redacted] just came over and told me he saw something that he'd been meaning to tell me regarding my cartoon stuff. He fumbled verbally repeating himself and then concluded he didn't remember what it was and would come back.

Then he came back with "I remembered!!" and explained to me that he gets comic book-related events bulletins in his email and a comic store I live nowhere near is having a signing with a comic book writer I've never heard of. He was baffled that I didn't recognize the name because he thought I was "into comics." When I told him I have very niche interests in comics, he elaborated that it was something he thought I was specifically into. Several trips round and round the blunder wheel yielded the information that it was a writer for Harley Quinn comics.

This shit again.

He thinks I like Harley Quinn even though I have never read or watched a single thing about this character. He believes Garnet is Harley Quinn and I can't get him to stop misunderstanding.

[foryoufics]

Fake Flowers

Authors Note: Sorry I haven't written in a while. Anyway, I'm almost finished watching The Trunk and I've always liked this trope. Hoping I can stick to making this a series and I must've been gone a while because Tumblr now has a button for read more so wow.

Summary: Basically fake! couple trope. You are trying for a fresh start and wanting to put your past behind you, what better way to do that than uprooting to a new country and getting a fake husband?

Warnings: angst, cussing, talk of adult themes

"Jungguk, could you come to my office please?" "Yeah, sure. I just ended one contract not two days ago, this can't be another one already," Jungkook answers with an exasperated sigh. "What can I say? You're the most popular one here, I'll brief you and then you need to go and meet her. Hey, maybe this will spice things up, this one is American, that doesn't happen often, huh? That's exciting"

"That doesn't happen often, why? I mean how? Do I have to relocate? I never agreed-"

"Aish, I know, I know, no. You don't have to relocate. This client recently moved here-"

"Again, why? Let me guess, she's obviously got money, but, she wants to hire me because she thinks I'm exotic or something?"

"I don't know her intentions. You know we don't ask those sorts of things. She only said she wanted to hire the best, and said she wanted someone popular and mentioned that she needed someone who was up for the task so obviously I went with you. Are you coming?"

"Up for the task? Oh great...one of those," he sighs again, "yeah, I'm on the way up in the elevator now ....," he hangs up and walks into the office

"Another happy marriage-," his boss smiles, "that's the what....ninth one? You've been with us for nine years-"

Jungkook simply allows his face to speak his emotions for him and holds his hand out for the folder

"Come on, don't be like that when you-"

"I won't," Jungkook moves his fingers in the 'give it over' motion and chews his lip ring to read the contents of the manilla folder in his hand; chewing as his eyes scan the file. It was the usual client folder, a photo of you at the top, your name, age, "where's the rest of it?" He looks up and asks

"That's it," he shrugs, "that's all she would give us, her name and age, wouldn't give us anything else but she was paying more than necessary and seemed desperate so I stopped asking questions. She said she would meet you immediately, she was hungry"

His eyes blink a few times and brows scrunch in confusion, "just her name and age? That's it? And she was hungry?"

His boss shrugs again, "yeah, said she wanted something warm because it was freezing, I suggested the place we went to last week; that was about," he looks at the time, "30 minutes ago, she said she would wait up there and give me time to brief you when you got here"

"Seriously, what does she do? Why is she hiring me?"

"Ask her that yourself, she's your wife as of now for the next year"

"Who-who-what-who-what girl just up and leaves her country and moves to another one and hires a fake husband? How long has she been here?"

"Dude, I don't know. You ask her; at least she's your age this time and not a old lady, she's only months older than you. Go on"

"Alright ," Jungkook pushes himself up and leaves to come meet you

You were easy to spot so he looks for a second, you were quite short for a 27 year old and you were currently shoving three fourths of a donut into your mouth. Gross. Charming Jungkook, you're working, you're just tired, it's just a job

He rubs his hand over his face, gives his shoulders a shake it off and takes a deep breath before coming over and greeting you. "Annyeonghaseyo"

You look up and see him bowing to you and that smile takes your breath away, you will yourself to return the smile and bow back. "Hi.....Y/N," you offer him a handshake after you wipe your hands on a napkin which he accepts. He sits so you sigh in relief internally that he can speak English. "You speak English, I'm relieved...."

"Yes, do you...speak Korean? When I said hello you responded"

"No, I'm sorry. I know I'm an asshole but I do want to try and learn. I also don't expect you to speak English if you don't want to by the way," you assure him because you're sure you both sense the awkwardness

"Thankyou...," he seems shocked, "I don't mind, we will need to communicate so if it makes things easier. So....I know your name, I'm uh....I'm Jungguk"

"Nice to meet you," you say and smile honestly, "Thankyou for doing that and agreeing to do this, I appreciate it-"

"It's my job, I was wanting to ask you some things. Your uh...your file ...it only had your name, your age and your photo, so.....well....what do you do? I mean you have to do something to be able to move and hire someone at my service, and, why? I mean why are you hiring me? What are your intentions? What made you do it? If we have to do this, we should know something about each other...."

"You speak English really well huh?....." You chuckle and fidget with your straw, twirling it around in your drink and looking at it, "well.....I don't do anything, I'm starting over and fresh, so I gave you all the info needed. My intentions," you shrug, "I am by myself in a foreign place and I don't know the language or anything; when you said hello, hello is sort of universal and it's one of the few words I do know-by the way, I understand why you bow and I'm honored but it really isn't necessary to bow to me. You aren't below me and I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I don't have any intentions really, it would be nice if you could teach me the language and I would pay you but you don't have to. You don't have to do anything." You shrug again

"I don't understand," he looks very lost, "I don't have to do anything?"

You she your head, "No. I was briefed by that guy, I believe he runs your company, on your protocol and you don't have to sleep in the bed with me, you don't even have to live in a home with me--"

"So....why did you hire me? What do I have to do then?"

"All I ask is maybe we can eat together sometimes I guess," you shrug, "and if you want to, the teaching me"

"So you are paying all that money, just to have a possible tutor and a pretend....friend?"

"Yeah, pretty much," you nod and laugh, "sound good? Besides he told me you just got divorced from your last client yesterday so you have to be exhausted"

There's silence as he is so stunned and confused for a long moment which you take to try your soup and end up slurping a bit which causes him to look over at you, scratching his head and he giggles, "Is it good? I won't take it"

"What?" You ask and realize, "oh sorry, I thought that was polite to do here if you thought something was good and I didn't want to be rude and offend anyone. I'm already being stared at...it's the opposite-I don't really like soup but it's freezing, it's nice and warm-Im sorry-," you stammer fearing you had offended him

"No need to be sorry. Alright well you have to have some type of rule or expectations for me?" He sees the goosebumps on your skin and hesitantly eyes everyone, he notices what you mean that a few people are staring at you. "Here," he takes off his coat and wraps it around you.

"Uhm....t-thankyou, you don't have to, I'm sure it's embarrassing-no rules or expectations, only that you honor the contract to do it for a year, I only ask that-"

"We can talk about it in a bit, finish eating....your sweater is very thin"

You nod and eat, it's silent even after when he leaves with you and you start walking towards your apartment as the snow falls. You didn't mind much, you were distracted by the pretty lights.

"oh, I'm so sorry, thankyou," you take his jacket off from around yourself and hand it back when you notice him shivering; you insisted when you left the restaurant. He resisted but only agreed when he noticed a street salesman selling scarves and hats. He took your hand and brought you over to it, put a scarf around your neck, a hat on your head, and then held up gloves. You shook your head to say no thankyou to them as you reached for your cash to hand him but he pushed your hand back down and paid the man. "It's freezing, you will need a better coat....," he finally speaks to you after clearing his throat, all that had been done in awkward silence with no words between the two of you

"Thankyou Jungguk, you really didn't have to do that..."

"I don't want you getting sick, I would do that for anyone.....can't have my wife out in this weather like that," he tries to smile and puts one hand in his pants pocket, then you both look at your feet as you stroll the sidewalk only speaking every so often when he asks something

"......what do you mean you don't have any rules or expectations?"

"what do you mean?"

"well....you said you basically just want a friend and tutor so, are we seeing other people? Things like that, our boundaries ...."

"Yes, you are free to see whoever you'd like and do whatever you please, whenever you like. You don't have to actually pretend to be my husband as the protocol says for image sake," you chuckle, "you seem so sweet, I wouldn't want to embarrass you like that. It's as simple as this, just pretend to enjoy my company during meals eve-no, just have a meal with me every now and then, it doesn't have to be often either, and you can just be yourself and do it for a year, that's all. I won't even speak if you don't want me to if you're having a day that isn't good, I will do the same and just be there for you too. That's literally all, I don't expect anything else. You're a free human being and a free man."

"I am.... flabbergasted.... alright....well, you've said that twice now"

"Said what twice?" You look up at him to meet his eyes

"That do it for a year, I mean I will, that's what the contracts last for, but, I did notice that in your file, you signed that if we didn't do the year that you wouldn't expect any alimony or anything"

"oh yeah, I don't"

"So.....you don't expect that? To be able to make it for a year? Noone ever would sign that but you not only signed it, you added that clause"

"I know," you say simply and nod, "I wanted you to know that," you shrug, "I expect nothing and I'm not forcing you into anything, I wanted you to be comfortable-" you feel him take your hand to hold it and realize it's to guide you across a street, ".......your hands are frozen, you should have let me get the gloves.......," he looks hurt, like he genuinely cares; you aren't sure how to respond, so you don't for a moment. "Jungguk, I told you, you don't have to d-"

"I told you, I would do it for anyone...."

"......I believe you.....thankyou.....please, don't worry. So.....do we have a deal? I mean....will you do it?"

"Which one? I don't think I could do both"

"Oh," you gulp, okay, that's disappointing, "That's alright," you smile, "You don't have to do either, my apartment is just up here, I'm sure you're exhausted. Thankyou for meeting to speak with me, walking me home and buying me the scarf and hat," you say being completely genuine and bow, walking ahead up the slope

"Wait, Y/N," you hear him catch up, "I was kidding, ofcourse, I can do both. Honestly, I am exhausted so thankyou," he laughs

"Oh, thankyou," you smile in relief and then remember something and try to avoid letting him see your teeth. "Actually, we-....we're already at your place and it actually is freezing, do you mind if I stay the night?"

"Yeah, yeah, ofcourse, I'd hate to send you walking back in this frigid cold. Come in," you show him inside. "Make yourself at home-you didn't eat, are you hungry? I'm not the best cook but I've got a few things, I could give it a shot"

"No thankyou, I ate before....," he sits on the couch

"Okay, well if you change your mind you're welcome to it"

"Thankyou.....so for the tutoring, how is three times a week?"

"That sounds great," you nod, "thankyou so much again and how much would I owe you?"

"You're already paying me, don't worry about it-"

"Tell me if you change your mind-"

"Why do you sound like you have to pay me just for my presence like just talking to you?"

"I-," you're caught off guard by the question and accurate read he had, "well, this is your work and want you to get your worth," you try to clear your throat

"I do. You wouldn't have to pay me if we just met naturally, right? Just pretend that's what's happening"

"I'm sorry, I don't know if I can, I don't know if I'm comfortable with that....," you say honestly

".....well, your age was in the file, we're the same year; when is your birthday? That's usually basic info on clients files"

"......I-it's in-....the calendar year," you give the most believable laugh you can muster but it doesn't fool him

"..... alright, I can't make you tell me, but, that would be a meal we shouldn't skip....I know it's months before mine.....mine is September 1st....," he looks at you and waits for a response

"September 1st, thankyou I'll make note to remember so we can have a meal," you smile and sit across opposite of him

"So what about you? You have been doing this for nine years, you're, I hope it's okay for me to be candid and honest, you are absolutely visual perfection and you're the definition of gentleman, so why aren't you really hitched?"

He blushes dark as one of Marilyn Monroe's lipsticks and rubs his neck, "thank you-"

"Oh come on, you have to be used to being told that"

"Still doesn't make it less flattering," he chuckles, "When I was younger, I needed money and then....really, I don't know.....I guess ....I felt like I was sort of....helping people," he shrugs, "so I'm a Virgo....you?"

"Nice try," you smirk and chuckle

"Give me something~"

"Alright....it's...."

"Yeah?"

"A star sign....that's not Leo"

"Aish~," he throws his head back

"Good night Jungguk, there is a room I've had made for you," you stand to go to your room

"Made for me?"

You turn to see his brow raised

"Yes, I told you I wanted you to be comfortable and didn't expect anything, you don't have to follow that protocol, I won't tell your boss"

"Wait, so you really didn-you had a room made for me?"

"Yes," you repeat, now you're the one who is baffled by his being confused

"You renovated and had a entire room added to your flat and furnished just for me so I wouldn't have to share with you if I didn't want to?"

"Pretty much, night. Sweet dreams," you smile

"Yeah....uhm thankyou....good night"

[autisticfaun420]

More on HSN autism and poop I guess

My most popular post by far is my one about my struggle with fecal smearing not sure why. I guess I’ll give you guys a follow up cause I want to talk more about incontinence and how it has affected my life. Sorry new to tumblr and I don’t remember what tags to use so OCD people can filter so I hope this intro is enough of a trigger warning.

I’m gonna be blunt about it, what’s worse then smearing though is just being in public stuck in a shitty diaper really for a couple reasons. I can’t stop myself from having bowel accidents in public, and when I’m having them too I *look* like I’m having one, I can’t stop my legs from squatting like a little kid and there’s often an accompanying sound to go with it. I wish I could say this in a nicer way but I basically go from the tolerable quirky R word to the ew so disgusting R word real fast. People go from smiling at me at least to going to openly degrading me and making comments like I’m not in the room. People get bothered real fast, I can’t blame them it smells bad but it doesn’t change the fact on how I feel inside once I became old enough to realize this was going on. It’s hard for my parents and caregivers to find a place in public to change me and it’s often impossible. The restaurants I eat at, the places so visit, are all dependent on me having a single room bathroom because a proper adult changing station is a pipe dream.

God forbid I have a diaper blowout (where poop goes up the back and out the diaper), then whatever small amount empathy people have goes quickly out the window. I used to like taking the bus with my dad, I can’t do it anymore. I had one blowout on the bus and people acted like their life was in danger “ew ew ew oh my god the r word shit everywhere ew” from someone not even close to where I was sitting, people telling my dad how my mom should of handled her pregnancy, I learned what an abortion was that day. People become blunt when they are mildly inconvenienced with a bad smell and they think it gives them a right to dehumanize someone. I know it’s disgusting but maybe there’s something wrong with me but I don’t think the reaction warrants it. Not when I’ve been at people’s houses and the dog shits everywhere and people go aww he’s just a little guy to the dog. I wish I got that kind of reaction as an autistic child, infantilization is at least better then telling me I should have never been born.

I wanted to write more but sorry I’m crying now. I guess I’ll end it on a positive note. I mentioned in a previous post how one of my high school friends, who grew up with little brothers and cousins, had no problems changing me so we could hang out. I’m not saying that’s an accommodation I expect anyone at all to make for me who’s not a parent or a caregiver getting paid for it, but the fact that he never acted grossed out when cleaning me healed something in me. I would be so embarrassed shitting myself in front of my “cool” neurotypical friends, I would be tearing up and I opened up about it and how embarrassing it is and he basically told me fuck the haters and it’s not something I can control. I didn’t ask for it. A part of me believed I was doing on purpose and carried guilt and guilt leads to meltdowns and smearing incidents. “What do you mean all the cool kids poop their pants” he would say sometimes to make me laugh. During our hangout sessions I would whisper to him “cool pants” or text him that so he could discreetly take me to the bathroom. He’d do it wether he was drunk, stoned, or sober. And like I said in the other post, he was the only reason I was able to have the freedom to hang out without a caretaker or parent in high school and we could all smoke weed together without my parents knowing. I think they did know what I was doing and just let me have my teenage fun, I think my parents thought the weed chilled me out too, which is true, so they let me do it but my cannabis use is a topic for another day.

[trashogram]

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