#when I get a crush they are intense but I will go YEARS without experiencing romantic attraction towards a new person after I’m rejected

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

So. I have just now realized that I am grayromantic. Happy pride month to me I guess. This revelation is made even more frustrating because I am demisexual and have known that for years. The combination of those two means the stars have to align just right for the conditions in a “normal” sexual and romantic relationship to be met. No no wonder I’ve had so much trouble with dating 🤦‍♀️ this just explains why it’s been extra hard. Ugh.

[xxoxobree]

See You Again

Miles G. Morales x Black Fem Reader

WARNINGS: Angst , Sadness, Happy Ending.

A/n: Surprise Shawtayyy‼️ wrote this in like 20 mins 🫶🏽 I love it 🤣

A year has flown by since Miles' father and you, his girlfriend, passed away. Yet, the agony that gnawed at his soul showed no signs of leaving. His grief had descended into a deep depression, which soon morphed into a seething anger. His heartache only intensified as he struggled to make sense of why he had to suffer so much. Why were two of most important people in his life ripped away from him?

Sleep was now a distant memory, and he dreaded the thought of closing his eyes. Every time he did, he was transported back to a time when he was happy, a time when he shared precious moments with you, that only added to his already unbearable pain.

Miles found himself under the spell of his uncle, who had taken him under his wing, using his intelligence for nefarious purposes that he knew would have disappointed you. He was desperate to shake off the haunting memories that plagued him so he took up the mantle becoming The Prowler.

Tonight was like any other night. He slid open his window, using his metallic claws to pry it open, then climbed in, undressing before heading to bed. But as he headed towards his bed, something caught his eye - a glint of light that shone in the darkness. Curious, he approached the object and picked it up, examining it closely.

It was a necklace, one that belonged to you. The very one he had given you, the one that you had lost the day before you were taken from him. The necklace that he had promised you he would help you find the next day. Miles clutched it tight in his hand, feeling the weight of his grief pressing down on him. He slowly made his way to his bed, where he fell asleep, still holding onto the precious necklace.

As he drifted off, his breathing gradually steadied. He soon found himself in a dream, where you appeared before him once again, with your beautiful smile that quickly turned to a frown, your eyes filling with tears. He could hear your weak voice ringing in his ears.

"Miles....Miles, help...I don't want to......... " your voice trailed off the sentence unfinished forever. Miles jolted awake in his bed. His heart raced from the intensity of the nightmare that had just gripped him. He took a few deep breaths, calming himself down before reaching for his cellphone to check the time. It was already 8 am, and he had to get ready for school.

The rest of Miles' day went by relatively normally, until he was heading back home. His head was down, texting his mother about her picking up another shift when he heard it - his name being called. He looked around, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

He heard it again – that voice he would recognize anywhere, the voice he longed to hear once more. And there you were, standing on the front steps of his apartment building, waving at him before running over. Miles stood frozen in shock, unable to grasp how you were there.

"Y/n," Miles said, his eyes beginning to well up with tears.

"Hey, Miles! What did you do to your hair? Did your mom do it? I kinda like it," you said, unaware of the whirlwind of emotions that Miles was experiencing in that moment.

You looked just as beautiful as the day he lost you, your hair styled just the way he liked, with your signature pink hair in two puffs. Your lips glistened from your lipgloss, and Miles couldn't help but stare in awe.

Without hesitation, Miles quickly pulled you into a tight embrace, knowing that if he didn't seize this moment, it would pass him by forever. He hugged you tightly, squeezing the life out of you.

"Whoa, Miles, you're gonna crush me!" you said, giggling. It was a sound that Miles had missed so much, and it filled him with a sense of warmth a feeling he never thought he'd feel again.

You tapped him gently, and Miles reluctantly let go of the embrace, still holding onto your shoulders.

"Someone missed me," you said, smiling as your eyes zeroed in on his neck. He was wearing a chain, one that looked exactly like yours, but you had yours on your neck. You gripped your chain, feeling a sense of confusion.

"I didn't know you got a matching one," you said, pointing at the chain.

"Oh, yeah," Miles chuckled. "I thought it was cute."

"That's so cute, Miles," you said, before reaching out and intertwining your fingers with his. Miles' heart skipped a beat, and he swore his head was spinning. You were here, in front of him.

He looked down at your entwined hands, still in disbelief that you were really here. "Miles, are you okay?" you asked, concern lacing your voice as your eyebrows knit together.

Miles took a deep breath before he spoke. "Yeah...yeah, I'm fine," he said, trying to compose himself.

"Okay, well let's go. You promised me you'd carry me to the rooftop, remember? To see your new artwork." You reminded him, eager to see the artwork he had been working on.

You were right. He had promised to show you, but now, that artwork was different. It was a painful reminder that you had died, a reminder that you shouldn't be here with him right now. But he couldn't bring himself to tell you that. Not yet.

You snapped your fingers in front of Miles' face, trying to get his attention. "Miles, hello! You're acting strange today. What is it, my love?" you asked, your eyes searching his for answers.

"It's nothing, mi amor. Come on," Miles replied, his voice unconvincing as he grabbed your hand and led you upstairs. He dreaded taking you up there, too scared that you would leave him again. His heart raced with each step, and he couldn't shake off the sense of unease.

As you two arrived at the rooftop, Miles looked back one more time at you. Your face was radiating with happiness, just happy to be with him. The sight made his heart thump harder, if it was even possible.

He pushed open the door, the cool breeze hit his face. "Here it is," he said lowly, motioning his head to the mural of you and his late father.

Your smile instantly dropped, confused by the whole thing. "R.I.P? But I'm right here," you said, looking at Miles in disbelief.

"Miles, your dad," you whispered, your hand coming up to cover your mouth, your eyes filling with tears. Miles just continued to look down, staring at his Nikes.

You tried to speak, but nothing came out as you stood there, frozen, unable to comprehend the reality of the situation.

"You died, Y/n. Right in front of me, in my arms," Miles said quietly, watching a single tear splat on his shoes. He looked up at you, seeing tears fall down your cheeks. How he hated to see you cry.

He walked over to you, wiping away your tears, a small smile on his face. "You're too beautiful to cry," he whispered, grabbing your hands. "And I don't know if you're a figment of my imagination, if I'm dreaming again, or if I'll ever see you again."

You looked up at him, your eyes filled with love and sadness. "So please," he said, closing the gap between your bodies, his hand on your waist. "Can I get a kiss?"

You nodded, and he tilted your chin upward, placing the most gentle, loving kiss on your lips. It was a kiss you wished could've lasted forever,

[thebibliosphere]

I was really sick and almost died in 2020 also. I developed intense light sensitivity. Almost the same as being allergic to the sun. I had to live in complete darkness for almost a year. If too much light enters my eye, my brain severs the connection between the optic nerve and the occipital lobe of my brain (because if too much light enters my eyes I get brain swelling). So essentially I go blind for an unknown amount of time around light. I had a traumatic brain injury caused by inflammation where my brain swelled up and crushed itself. And then I developed severe light sensitivity and have been slowly regaining the ability too see and not go blind over 3 years. It fucked me up. I just wanted to say hello and that I understand how hard it is to be allergic to the sun. When I went into the sun for the first time without going blind in 2021 or 2022 I cried.

Solidarity, friend. I'm so sorry you experienced that. People really do not comprehend what it's like to be so debilitated by the most normal of things. I'm glad to hear you've had good days since <3

[olympeline]

Got a sweet message about my FrUK posts. So have a few more headcanons for posterior posterity:

Arthur developed a crush on Francis almost immediately after they met as children. He used to trail behind Francis like a tousel-headed duckling after a swan. Scarlet faced and hanging on to the back of Francis’s robes. Francis found it adorable but didn’t reciprocate. You know how kids are. Even though there would only be a few years between them in human terms, young Francis already saw himself as far too old and sophisticated to return the affections of his “little baby” neighbour. He couldn’t resist teasing Arthur and giggling at his childish efforts at courtship. Only to feel bad when the teasing inevitably went too far. Francis promised himself he wouldn’t do it again every time he saw little Arthur’s lip tremble and his eyes fill with tears. Kids are cruel unfortunately and Francis broke that promise more often than not. He grew up to be kind in love, but he didn’t start out that way. Actually, remorse over the way he treated Arthur was probably one of the reasons Francis grew up to be kind in love.

Their childhood friendship soured after the Norman conquest made England a French colony (kinda, sorta. It’s complicated). They’d both suffered under Rome and Arthur naively expected Francis to do more to protect him. Only to be shocked and hurt by Francis’s seeming callousness. Francis wasn’t really callous. He was just older and understood their situation better. This blew up into their first really bad fight. Francis kept insisting William would be a good king and Arthur should just accept the situation with grace for his peoples’ sake. Arthur kept begging Francis to do something to help him. Francis - much more miserable than he was letting on - lost his temper. He exploded at Arthur in uncharacteristic rage: calling him an idiot baby and saying it was no wonder he kept getting conquered. That he deserved it for being so stupid and weak. Francis was going through national personification “growing pains” at the time. Chin deep in dealing with the angst of the actually-kinda-horrifying-if-you-think-about-it existence of their kind. Something I headcanon all nation people experiencing when they’re old enough. Arthur, still too young to understand, was stunned and dismayed. The guilt at seeing him this way only made Francis angrier. He ranted at Arthur, who ran away sobbing and hid for days. Francis, still horribly guilty, pushed it down with bitterness and didn’t apologise for a long time. One of Arthur’s worst traits is his ability to bear a grudge and, oh boy, did he bear one after that. Even after he himself grew old enough to understand, he didn’t let Francis off the hook for his cruel outburst. Swore he’d get revenge someday and make Francis feel the same pain he did under William. A “someday” that would come a few centuries years later during the Hundred Years War.

They are both perfectly capable of speaking the other’s language but choose to communicate in their mother tongues. Arthur complains constantly about Francis and his “frog language” but secretly* he finds French unbearably sexy. Especially the French exonym for England. All Francis has to do is purr Angleterre in Arthur’s ear and he’s all shivers and tight pants.

(*Well, he thinks it’s a secret, lol).

Arthur’s first kiss was given to him by Francis: a quick peck during their childhood days. He was very disappointed to learn he wasn’t Francis’s first kiss in return. That was Antonio who, ironically enough, ended up being the one Arthur lost his virginity to. As a prisoner on Antonio’s ship during the Age of Sail. Pirate sex, yo! You gotta love it. Meanwhile Francis’s first time was with a young, French farmhand. A very beautiful mortal who came to a sad end. The encounter left him overpowered by a draining need for Francis that mortals aren’t capable of resisting. A human can’t cope with romantic love for a nation person without being ripped apart by its intensity. The poor man eventually went mad and drowned himself in the river. Near to the bank where he’d first made love to Francis. Which traumatised Francis so badly when he found out that he never became romantically involved with a human again. Yeah, for some reason I headcanon Francis as suffering a great deal from being a national personification. I don’t know, I just see him as seeming to carry a lot of sadness from it, you know?

Francis is one of the few non-magical nation people who can see Arthur’s fae friends. Not often and not very clearly. He’ll just catch a glimpse every once and a while. Out of the corner of his eye when the light is right.

As nation-people, they can’t get married in the human way unless their countries join in a political union. Instead they have the equivalent for their kind. The “next best thing” for personifications. It’s another headcanon I play with. I’m not sure what it would be, but some kind of “terra” wedding? Non-binding in any legal way, but a symbolic way of making it official. Only recognised by other nation-people. Like they’d still have rings but wear them on chains around their necks instead of on their fingers. Because symbolism. Both romantic and tragic! So yeah, in modern times they’re married and call each other “husband.” Just in a way that avoided creating Angevin Empire 2: Electric Boogaloo, hehe.

Arthur is slo-o-o-owly getting over his Alfred induced blood spitting sickness as time passes. In the early years after the American War for Independence, he would get it so badly that he was crashed out and bedbound from mid-June to late August. Alasdair would take over as leader while Arthur was indisposed so the UK could carry on as normal on the world stage. These days Arthur is doing much better and is usually up and about before the end of July. Unfortunately Francis’s birthday is Bastille Day and, try as he might, Arthur still isn’t strong enough to get out of bed by the 14th. Let alone do anything to make Francis’s day special. They had lots of fights about it after they became a couple. Arthur is a stubborn creature and two things bring it out that trait particularly badly: hiding weakness, and his love for Francis. Yeah, not a good combo for this situation, lol. Francis kept postponing or cancelling his party to come to England and nurse his sick spouse. Something Arthur absolutely did not want. It made him feel even worse to know he was keeping Francis from what should be his happiest day. Already cranky, he would tell Francis to piss off back home and leave him be. Francis would retort that Arthur was an obstinate fool if he thought Francis could enjoy himself when the love of his life was alone in bed vomiting blood. Arthur couldn’t make Francis leave (he even picked the lock and broke in once!) so instead he tried to force himself to attend the party. Relying on magic and handfuls of human medicine to keep himself upright. A bold attempt which only made everything worse. The staff at the Élysée Palace still haven’t gotten all the bloodstains out of the furnishings. One explosive fight later, Francis and Arthur came to a compromise. Arthur spends July in France where Francis can look after him. In return for Arthur tolerating his fussing, Francis attends his birthday party. Promising to put Arthur out of his mind for one full day and night.

I like the headcanon that all nation-people are good looking. That even the least of them would be considered very beautiful by human standards. Fits with the “more than human, less than gods” thing they’ve got going on. I think Francis would be the most beautiful of them all. So much of his history and culture revolves around the appreciation of art, love, and beauty. I think it would “come out” in him as a personification and he would be a work of art himself, you know? So much so that he would have to “tone it down” around humans to avoid hurting them. Other nation-people aren’t harmed like the poor farmhand was, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get tongue-tied around gorgeous Francy-pants. Especially the younger ones. His good looks radiate off him like the sun’s rays. Something he passed on to Alfred, incidentally. Meanwhile Arthur isn’t as stunning at a glance - you wouldn’t take a second look at him if you saw Francis first - but instead he has the kind of beauty that surprises you. Visitors are always shocked at how lovely Britain is once they get out of the tourist traps and see “real” parts of the country like the Lake District or the Cotswolds. It’s an unexpected but pleasant revelation. I think Arthur’s beauty would be like that: hidden, but then suddenly smacks you in the face and leaves you stunned. Francis would have been one of the first to notice, beauty connoisseur that he is.

I’ve got loads more but this post is getting long so I’ll cut it here. Hope you enjoyed (￣▽￣)ノ

[petit-naldo]

JEALOUSY

Charles had never experienced jealousy. When you were Charles Leclerc, there were very few things you had a reason to be jealous of. Don’t get me wrong, he had his fair share of tragedies. But when it came to petty jealousy, he was kind of immune.

He had the prettiest girls, the best clothes, the best cars, the best team.

He had the prettiest girls, the best clothes, the best cars, the best team.

So it takes him a moment to realize what that burning feeling in his chest stands for.

It happens, for example, when Carlos is holding Lando's hand AND looking at him for what feels like an eternity in the hallway before the sprint. And this strange feeling makes him uncomfortable and angry, so he tries to intervene. And he does it in the stupidest way possible.

He puts his hand on their handshake. Because he's getting angrier by the second.

He just wants them to stop touching.

Of course, there are cameras capturing his stupid move.

He doesn't really know why he did it.

 He's known for a very long time that Carlos and Lando are really good friends, it never bothered him more than that. But lately they seemed to have some kind of renewed spark, giggling and hugging on the podium.

Even though Carlos said they're his two favorite teammates.

It still bothers him.

 Yeah, right. It's the fourth year, Carlos, and we've been laughing every damn day, why can't you say I'm your favorite teammate?

Maybe something changed last week in Monaco. In fact, if Charles is honest with himself, he knows exactly what ignited a little fireball in his belly. It was right after the Monte Carlo Masters final. He was talking to George and Carmen in the VIP hospitality area. George was a good friend of Lando's. Of course, because Lando was so charming. Lando sitting with a pretty blonde across the court. And George, always the first with gossip, smiled and raised his eyebrows.

"So, he’s back to girls...," Carmen laughs as if she perfectly understands what it means. And Charles frowns.

"What do you mean?"

"You know," answers George, moving his face in a suggestive way.

"Mmh, ah yeah," answers Charles, who really DOESN’T know but can’t really imagine anything besides one thing. Is Lando bi ?

He can’t keep this idea out of his head. So one night in Shanghai, while he and Carlos are sat on boxes outside the Ferrari garage, softly chit-chatting and the dusk is wrapping them in blue and purple and the frogs are starting to wake up, he tries to bring up the subject as casually as he can.

He first pushes the direction of the conversation towards the tournament.

"Weren’t you a bit disappointed? I think the semi-finals were more interesting matches."

Carlos answers and says it’s okay, but what he’d really like to do is go to Roland Garros. Watch Nadal's final game. Shit. Charles prompts again, redirecting.

"Were you with Lando?"

"No, he was with a girl." Jackpooot. He switches with what he hopes is the most casual tone he could adopt.

"Oh yeah, it’s true... by the way, ahah, George told me he was surprised because… well, he said Lando used to… date boys."

"Ah, George, such a nosy bitch," Carlos says, looking at his phone without bothering to respond any further.

Charles bites his lip. He wants his answer. He NEEDS his answer to ease the ball of fire he feels growing in his chest. Charles doesn’t know how to be subtle.

"So, Lando is bi?" he blushes because really, it’s nowhere near subtle.

"Why do you care?" asks Carlos, suddenly looking at him intensely.

Charles falters, luckily, the night is fully set upon them because his face might be close to crimson, and he blurts out the first excuse he can think of.

"A gay friend of mine has a crush on him."

He never panicked so hard, it’s weird, he’s usually a chill dude. But his heart is at the edge of his lips. A wave of heat floods him, and his breath shortens.

"Who?" Carlos asks, frowning. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

"You don’t know him. From Monaco." He clings to this thread. Fortunately, his overheated mind found this excuse because Charles has no friends who know Lando and that Carlos doesn’t know, and if Carlos had realized that, it would have made the rest of the conversation very uncomfortable.

Luckily, after what feels like suffocating seconds, Carlos lets it go with a grunt and shakes his shoulders.

"Yeah, he is… well, if you consider showing up with a girl once every blue moon, being bi."

SO LANDO IS GAY???

He feels that sting, that crazy sting clouding his mind, making him act like a foolish fool and he watches himself open his mouth again to utter, "Oh...I didn’t know, if you knew."

"Ha…," scoffs Carlos, shaking his head, letting his eyes gaze into the faraway... "oh believe me, I know."

Charles knows he should shut the fuck up. But he can't because this sentence alone and the tone with which Carlos said it, stir up a thousand more questions. He should leave before it's too late. He’s already asked too much.

He isn’t close enough with Lando to keep pushing, for his curiosity to make sense.

But nonetheless he asks.

"How did you find out?"

"Mmh… " Carlos looks at him a bit surprised by his questions. Usually Charles isn't the kind to ask personal questions. "I’m not really comfortable sharing his personal stuff, Charles."

The "Charles" should be his cue to fucking stop pushing. Because Carlos said it in a way that doesn’t offer contradiction.

But he is stupid. He is the most stupid man to ever exist. So he fakes a laugh.

"Come on, Cahrlos, tell me, I’m your favorite teammate " He tries to be playful, but he so desperately needs to know that it must be really obvious in his tone. He feels cringe and shameful and immature and he wants to burry himself into the ground.

But he also wants the answer.

"Why," laughs Carlos, "your friend wants to know?"

And Charles backs down. He isn't brave enough.

"You’re right, I shouldn’t gossip like that, damn George really rubs off on me."

They keep chatting about tennis. He tries to focus on Carlos deep voice to avoid getting lost on thoughts about Lando.

But that night, as he lies in bed, the overthinking starts.

He keeps replaying the conversation, trying to extract from it every bit of info he can.

"Oh yes, believe me I know" - why this tone, why this almost tragic tone, melancholic.

Ideas start to swirl.

Did Carlos stumble upon Lando being with a boy? Did Lando make a move on Carlos? Did Carlos make a move on him? Could Carlos have done something with… no, no, no, Charles, come back to your senses.

He lies awake.

The little ball of fire starts swelling in his chest at the thought of Lando being near Carlos.

But that’s stupid.

Because Carlos is straight.

And Carlos is only friend with Lando.

He is.

Is he?

Isn’t it weird though how close and touchy they are?

Well, Carlos is a touchy guy.

But especially with Lando.

And him.

No, but it’s not the same.

Charles is straight.

Maybe after an exhausting sim session back when they were teammates he and Lando could have…

NO !

Carlos is straight.

S t r a i g h t.

But maybe he tried.

Or maybe one day he will.

Lando is not ugly.

Not as pretty as Charles, but…

Charles shakes his head.

C’mon, is he really judging other drivers’ looks now?

But then, the weekend happens and he notices Carlos staying glued to Teto.

And Carlos makes a joke about Teto being his WAG on Instagram.

Carlos is way too comfortable with every other boy around.

Charles tries to reassures himself about what ? he doesn't know.

He says to himself that it’s okay.

Because there is no one else’s waist Carlos puts his hand on while he walks.

And it was a real close hug during the shell event. No ?

What?

Jesus Christ, Charles, get your shit together. He’d really like to take some time to acknowledge what the fuck is going on inside his mind. What are his feelings for Carlos, does he really have a crush on him. That would be a very bad idea. And he is straight. As Carlos. Supposedly.

Anyway, he can’t because 90% of his brain is focused on the race and the ten other % are literally occupied by… okay, he wanted to call that rage ? But it’s that burning itch making him want to punch every man too close to Carlos. Making him want to act like an imbecile just so Carlos would look at him.

It takes up too much space in his mind to let anything else in. He scooches alongside the Spaniard anytime he can. He develops weird strategies to be sure he’s next to him during the parade.

He keeps an eye on Lando at all times. He scrolls down Teto’s Instagram and re-watches the Don’t Blink on YouTube. Clenching his teeth at the winter one. Carlos lifting him like that, like a feather.

Teto acting exactly like a wag, getting along with Sainz Sr, sitting near Carlos in restaurants,

Teto, who is actually very pretty. Shiny golden hair. Big eyes.

When Charles sees him leaning against a railing above one of the numerous ponds of the Shanghai paddock, he has the urge to throw him overboard.

Maybe a crocodile could eat him. Are there crocodiles in Shanghai ?

That way, he would never again hold Carlos’s shoulder while laughing.

Then the weekend is over.

He looks through the window of the plane. Today he flies back to Monaco. He has been a nightmare to deal with, yelling at everybody. He feels restless and irritated.

Yet the weekend has been good. Everything ran smoothly. Carlos had even congratulated him for the third place, gave him a hug. But after, at the corner of his eyes, he had seen him hugging Lando, holding him by the neck. Diving into one of their secret conversations.

And just a few hours later. He had heard they were flying back together on the same plane.

TOWARDS MONACO.

He goes to Monaco too!!! He is Monegasque! Why can’t Carlos ask him to fly with HIM? Why Lando? Always Lando! Insufferable, childish, giggly, never-won-a-race Lando!

HE is il predestinato, HE is Ferrari’s sacred child! He is nice, and every girl are at his feet.

He slides a hand over his face. He feels like he's going crazy. What is this fury burning in his chest for days?

But he doesn’t need to think about it for long.

It’s pretty obvious.

It is well…

Jealousy.

[lilmissnoobster]

Andrei Nolan NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Andrei is a sucker for cuddling. Would lay on his back with your head on his chest calming down from the intense moment.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his arms, the muscles he has built up over the years of serving in the military makes it easier to manhandle you into positions that he likes.

He loves your thighs; squeezing, pinching, gripping all of it! Would deem it an honor to be suffocated by them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Deep in you for sure! If you’re not into that then he’ll pull out and cum on your entrance.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He fantasizes about a threesome with the two of you and Makarov. The thought of you between the two of them makes him feral.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Pretty average experience, knows a good deal about the body to give you more pleasure.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Mating press. Being able to manhandle you into the position while guaranteeing he can cum deep into you while getting a good view of your face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Mid-serious, he doesn’t have much time due to being second in command so he cherishes the time he has with you. Will still laugh if something humorous happens.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Keeps it trimmed, not overly bushy but not clean-shaven.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He looks at you like you hung the stars. Worships you and your body like it’s his last day on earth.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not often due to his schedule, will send videos of himself doing it though to let you know that you’re on his mind.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Power-play, rigging, praise with hidden degradation, choking, brat taming, edging, and overstimulation.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom, but won’t complain if you end up in a closet or bathroom stall.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you in tight clothes.His main motivation is seeing you in his shirt and a pair of tight booty shorts.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that could endanger your life if not well versed. Gunplay, knifeplay, choke collars. Does not like you not being able to communicate with him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Is a mix of both, loves seeing you on your knees infront of him. But enamored by your taste, loves being crushed by your thighs when he does.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Likes to start slow, then builds it up until the bed starts to roughly shake like your thighs would be afterwards.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sees them as a godsend. With how busy he is he loves releasing stress with his beautiful partner.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Only after research is done, does not like to try something new without seeing the risks and benefits.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

About three rounds, this Aussie man has the endurance to make them last a while though.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Sees toys as a plus, loves seeing how much pleasure he can get from you with a vibrator.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Is a fair teaser, knows that you will have to wait for him to have a chance to get away long enough.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Grunts and groans, talks you through it, occasionally moans if he is overstimulated. Has whimpered before when you take control and tease him for a while.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Used to have a Prince Albert piercing, removed it when he enlisted though for safety reasons.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Muscular body with a short, thick cock. Average length but nicely thick to stretch you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty normal, gets pent up if he doesn’t release about three times a week.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

When he is done comforting you he dozes off after about ten minutes.

[viceroywrites]

private show

part one of three - henchman 21 x camstar!reader

ao3 ver here

Gary ends up stumbling upon your profile on a camstar website 24 had mentioned to him. He quickly becomes your most loyal viewer and top tipper.

So why not reward him with a private show?

(Set during Season 3/Pre-Two Ton 21)

cw: smut ahead includes the following: reader is a sex worker/camstar, usage of sex toys. 18+ only, minors dni.

To say Gary’s romantic life was non-existent was the understatement of the year.

Becoming a henchman at the age of 15 and his only social interactions being hanging out with 24 around the cocoon, it made sense why. There were little to no opportunities to meet someone outside of the Guild world since being a henchman was a 24/7 job. Gary hadn’t even told his mom that he was a henchman - how was he supposed to break that news to a potential girlfriend. The only romance Gary experienced nowadays was a one-sided pining crush on his boss’ now-wife, Sheila.

Somehow during one of his and 24’s hangouts, 24 had mentioned a particular cam model website that he perused every so often when the two had gotten into a discussion about what material they use to “relieve themselves.” Out of sheer curiosity, Gary looked into the site the following evening, clicking through cam model after model. About to call it quits and fall back on his classic spank bank material, his eyes widen at the sight of you, quickly clicking on your photo to tune into your live. 

He can already feel the material of his pajama pants tighten despite it looking like he arrived at the very end of your stream, your skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat as you were wrapped up in a fuzzy robe. Gary’s hand drifts lower, palming his thick bulge through his pants, your voice a bit raspy after what he assumed was an intense cam session, adding to the allure. Unlike the other models who seemed like they had a rehearsed script of moans and dirty talk, you spoke casually to your chat, answering questions casually. 

“No, guys, no matter how much you tip, I’m not going another round. Are you trying to kill me?” You chuckle, watching as the comments stream in. Your eyes scan over the sea of comments, playfully responding to a few of your regular viewers who often tipped generously. Gary watched in want, almost longing for your attention as your soft laughter sent shivers down his spine, continuing to stroke himself through his pajama pants. You let out a yawn, the fatigue slowly hitting you. “Alright, I’m about to knock out, guys. Any last words before I end the live?”

Gary’s not sure if it was pure horniness or a longing to get a sliver of your attention that drove his hands to reach up, pausing their ministrations as his fingers type out a response. 

‘Dude, I came in just 3 minutes ago but you’re actually stunning.’ - guest account

Your eyebrows raise at the guest comment since most guest accounts just pop in quietly, and then dip. Your lips curl into a tired grin, realizing whoever this commenter is came in late, but still stuck around just to hear you ramble for the last 3 minutes.

“Why thank you, mysterious guest commenter! Sorry to hear you missed the fun. I promise you I look better without the robe but you’ll just have to tune in next time to see, won’t you?” You reply with a wink. Gary stares at his screen in awe, shocked that you noticed his comment amidst the sea of responses spamming you for a response. “Oh fuck…” He whines, stroking his cock with renewed vigor through the fabric as his mind drifts to the thought of your soft skin underneath the robe.

“Good night everyone! Thanks for tuning in!” You say, blowing one final kiss to the camera which Gary groans at, cumming prematurely right as the screen cuts to black. Staring back at his reflection, he curses, glancing down at his now ruined pajama pants, “Oh dude, I just washed these!” 

After quickly changing his pants and boxers, Gary finds himself snooping through your profile. He figures out through your bio that you typically are live two times a week - once on Wednesday nights and once on Saturdays. Despite just cumming, he feels his erection begin to grow again as he clicks through your gallery, seeing photos of you in different states of undress from lingerie to topless but no full nudity. 

In a matter of seconds, Gary finds himself creating a profile with the username Viceroy and follows your profile, eager for your next live.

–

Over the span of the last few months, Gary had become a regular on your stream, joining right on time and usually being one of the first people to leave a comment with a small tip. He had set a reminder on his phone so he knew when you were going live, dropping whatever task he was doing as long as he wasn’t on an arch with the Monarch to go watch. 

His new found obsession with you was no secret as it became a common topic of conversation with his best friend.

“Dude, you should totally ask for a private show. I mean you’ve tipped on every single live and you’re a moderator for her chat! She’s totally into you.” 24 said excitedly as they both exited the lunchroom after enjoying Wednesday’s buffalo wings.

“Oh god no! I’m totally fine watching them through a screen, thank you very much. Besides, if she took one look at me, she’d run for the hills.” Gary sighed, reaching down to cup his stomach. 

“Aw, come on, dude, don’t get all self-deprecating on me. Total mood killer.” 24 nudges his friend’s side, hoping to lighten the mood, “You never know, some girls love chubby guys, they say they’re better to cuddle with.”

“She did say during a live that she prefers guys with a little more weight to them.. Maybe I might have a shot.” Gary perks up, the pair making their way down the long purple hallway back to their rooms. He feels his cell phone vibrating in the pocket of his henchman uniform, fishing it out. A notification flashes on his screen, indicating that you’re about to go live. 

“Oh dude, she’s live. I gotta go!”

Just as they round the corner, they run into the Monarch who stops them in their tracks, “21, 24, I need you both bright and early tomorrow to do some reconnaissance at Venture’s gay little summer camp he’s hosting.”

“Didn’t your wife say you weren’t allowed to arch Venture anymore?” 24 questioned with Gary chiming in while checking his phone, antsy to get back to his room, “Yeah, she’ll probably notice 24 and I are missing and she’ll know right away where we are.”

“Hmm, you’re right. Maybe I get those lousy moppets of hers to do it for me. Though even speaking to those two gives me the creeps.” Malcolm shudders with his henchman nodding in agreement.

“Honestly, I don’t know why you ask us to do these things all the time, I mean you have 100 other henchmen right?” 24 comments to which Malcolm shakes his head, “No way, most of the henchmen that are ranked above you haven’t even been here for a year. You and 21 are my most loyal men, considering you two stuck around and didn’t ditch me for Monstroso. You know how this whole operation works.” 

Seeing the time continue to tick away, Gary interrupts their conversation, “Sorry boss, I really gotta go! See ya later! ” He scurries off, leaving the two behind.

“Where the hell is he running off to?” The Monarch says in confusion.

“Oh, he got super into this camstar website I told him about and he watches this one model on there religiously.” 24 replies casually.

“Dude! Why did you tell him that?” Gary’s voice echoes down the hallway, picking up what 24 said right before he ran out of ear shot.

“What the hell was I supposed to say? Your mom was calling? That’s even more embarrassing, might as well tell him the truth.” 24 yelled to which Malcolm pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

“I can’t believe you two are my most capable men.”

-

You had just started your live stream, making sure your ring lights surrounding your bed were properly set up before sitting back on the edge of the bed.

You look over the comments, greeting each person as they came into the room and left a tip. Though in reality, you were anxiously waiting for a particular someone - Viceroy.

He started popping into your lives in the last few months, leaving small but consistent tips and attending every single live with a few exceptions here and there. What made him stand out from the rest of the crowd was his sweet yet dorky nature. Most people, even your top tippers, would keep the conversation purely sexual or casual. At some point in the live show, Viceroy always left a sweet message, either wishing you a good night, or asking you if you’ve watched any of the shows he recommended.

The dynamic that you had with him did not go unnoticed by your other viewers who either got green-eyed with envy and tried to catch your attention with more generous tips or encouraged the banter between you two. 

After a few instances of some viewers getting a bit too jealous and becoming aggressive in their comments, you had decided it would be best to get a chat moderator and you found yourself naturally gravitating towards his profile, sending him a private message and asking if he would mind managing the chat moving forward.

Outside of that, you two only interacted during lives which had your curiosity peaking each time you went live. 

What was he like behind the screen?

What were his interests and hobbies?

What did he do for a living?

What did he look like?

You admittedly did some stalking on his profile which resulted in no answer to your many questions, his profile blank outside of his age and a profile picture of a yellow butterfly.

‘Guess he’s running late, I’ll get started then.’ You think to yourself as it has been a good 3 minutes of waiting and your audience was getting antsy, wondering when you were going to start.

“Alright guys, which toy should I use today?” You ask with a smile, reaching behind you to grab two objects - a vibrant yellow dildo in your right hand and a pink vibrator in your left.

“I know the vibrator’s a classic on my streams but I figured I’d throw in another option.” You say as you watch the comments flood in, requesting their choice while also throwing in other suggestions for other toys.

‘Let’s go with the classic!’

‘How about that rose toy you used a few weeks ago?’

‘Yellow dildo!’

“Looks like the yellow dildo has won!” You try to say enthusiastically though there’s a hint of disappointment as Viceroy has yet to log in. You let out a deep breath, trying to push down the feeling to get through the rest of the stream. 

“Let’s get started, shall we?” You say with a smile, slowly dragging up the material of your oversized shirt to reveal your bare chest to the camera.

-

“Oh, please don’t end early today!” Gary groans, pulling down the hood of his henchman costume as he scrambles to grab his old laptop. His fingers immediately fly to click on the bookmarked page he had for your profile and his jaw almost hits the floor at the sight that greets him, scrambling to grab his wired headphones as your sighs and moans begin to play from the speaker. 

Your legs are spread, back against the headboard with a few pillows propped up against your lower back and head for extra comfort. Sweat begins to bead at your forehead, your head thrown back in pleasure as the tip of your dildo presses deeper. In between your trembling thighs, your juices cause the yellow toy to glisten each time it glides out of you. You’re completely exposed to the camera, the audience seeing how the toy stretches you out.

Your toes curl as your free hand that was cupping your breast slides down to rub your sensitive clit. Your eyes flutter open to scan over your chat, your lips breaking out into a lazy grin at the sight of the familiar username popping up on screen.

‘So sorry I’m late! New toy?’ - Viceroy

You immediately perked up at the sight of his comment. You let out a shaky chuckle, continuing to pleasure yourself, replying to Gary’s comment immediately. “Yeah, it’s new. Hope you like it though you could have voted on it if you came in earlier.” You tease before shifting your attention to the other comments in the chat. 

To say that Gary liked it was an understatement as he whipped off the utility belt of his henchman costume, pushing the pants down. His cock was already erect at the sight. Something about seeing the yellow dildo - a color that he donned daily - gliding in and out of you turning him on even more. His fingers wrap around the base of the shaft, beginning to slowly stroke as he tries to keep in tempo with you. 

‘I was here on time!’

‘Dude, you always get her attention.’

‘Potential collab in the future between Viceroy and you? That’d be pretty hot.’

Your lips curl in amusement at the comments, “Now, now, behave everyone. You’ve all got my attention.” You assure your viewers though you can’t deny in your head that the thought of having Viceroy in the same room as you - despite not knowing anything about his appearance - caused you to clench tighter around the toy that is stretching you out. “Mm, collab with Viceroy, huh?” You say breathlessly, your voice hitching as you feel your first orgasm of the night slowly building. “Well, what do you think, Viceroy? Would you be up for it?”

Meanwhile, on his side of the screen, Gary's eyes roam over your body, wishing he could replace the toy between your thighs with his fingers, tongue, cock - anything to just get a taste of you.“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Gary groans, his hand picking up the pace. He feels his length throb as you call out his username, eyes widening at your proposal that he has only ever imagined in his wildest fantasies. His free hand fumbles across the keyboard, typing out an eager yet short response, sending a small tip attached to it.

‘With you? Absolutely.’ - Viceroy

After seeing Viceroy’s comment, you bite down on your lower lip. Typically, your cam sessions were strictly business for you - strip, seduce your audience, pleasure yourself, banter and then log off. However, you can’t ignore the skip of your heartbeat at this stranger’s comment and your mind begins to drift, imagining the dildo that is filling you up is Viceroy’s cock. Your toes curl as you suddenly pick up the pace and you shakily reply, “Well, maybe we can make that happen.”

“Oh god yes, please, please..” Gary pleads, having a vice grip around the base of his shaft as he attempts to hold off his fast approaching orgasm. He tried his best to pace himself during your cam sessions, having one too many instances where he got too eager and ended up cumming only a few minutes into your stream. His free hand clumsily reaches over to his nightstand, fumbling to grab a few tissues as he tries to time his orgasm with yours, the fantasy of filling you to the brim with his seed usually running through his head.

Your sighs, whimpers and moans were a symphony to his ears as his hand began to move again, sensing that your own orgasm was approaching. Gary hated to admit it but over the course of these last few months, he had memorized every little movement, twitch, shift in pitch of your voice that indicated when you were getting close. To put it bluntly, he was obsessed.

“Oh fuck…’ Your breath hitched, the tip of your dildo brushing against a particular spot that made your eyes roll back in ecstasy. Your body felt like mush, melting into the sheets, as you continued to imagine Viceroy’s body on top of yours, the thought of large hands digging into your skin as he thrusts mercilessly into you. “I’m close..” You whimper out, your vision getting blurry that you can barely make out the flurry of comments and tips that flood the chat.

However, you’re able to make out one simple command out of all of them.

‘Please cum for me.’ - Viceroy

The knot in your stomach suddenly releases as the white hot sensation of your orgasm hits you, practically causing you to gasp and cry out in ecstasy. Your free hand grips the sheets tightly, riding out the intensity of it. Your chest heaves up and down, catching your breath. You slowly pull the dildo out of you, revealing the sticky mess you had created. Sitting up, you give the audience a playful grin, deciding to rile them up - particularly Viceroy - one last time. Your lips part, your tongue laying flat against the plastic as you taste your own juices. Your tongue glides up and down slowly, eyes gazing seductively at the camera while you lap up the remnants of your cum. 

Watching you give your dildo a blowjob was driving Gary crazy, trying to envision his fingers focusing in on his swollen tip were your lips suctioned tightly around him. He can’t hold back any longer, gasping out your name as his sticky, white load splashes onto the keyboard, the tissues he had tried to prepare long forgotten by his thick thigh. “Oh gross, now the keys are all sticky...” He whines, grabbing the tissues and trying to wipe off the cum. Realizing the tissues weren’t going to cut it, he reluctantly steps away to retrieve some wipes that he kept in his bedside drawer.

Preoccupied with cleaning his mess as he meticulously runs the wipe over each key, hoping he wasn’t accidentally typing out some random strings of characters into chat, Gary’s gaze looks up to see you, having slid your shirt back on, signing off for the evening. “Huh, she usually sticks around for a bit longer to chat… must be tired.” He comments to himself, tossing the wipes into the waste bin. With ‘Stream Ended’ flashing on his screen, Gary is about to close out of the tab but he pauses at the sight of a notification in his inbox.

“What could that be?” He wonders, clicking on the notification in curiosity. Gary’s eyes widen as he sees your username, quickly opening the message. He nearly faints on the spot. He thought you were joking, simply bantering with him through the screen like you do with everyone else. Never in his wildest dreams could he have predicted the message that was on the screen:

‘So I wasn’t joking about that collaboration… but I figured, since you’ve been so loyal to me these past few months, how about a private session first? I’d love to put a face to your username, Viceroy.’ 

[crguang]

If someone hasn’t already asked tell us about chameleon please and thank you

-🍷

ive been talking about her for like an hour now but im still gonna answer this with more to say! characters who get intoxicated by their twisted desires being fulfilled and who get that little flushed and heady look yes godddddd. i could match her freak. i want her to spend a decade crafting a punishment meant for me only, i want to drive her towards perfecting her craft for years just so she could built a prison so personal that it’s only effective on my mind specifically. when she licked that man’s blood off her finger…. her lapse in control due to the pleasure she was experiencing… mnghhhhhh that dude was weak and didnt get her but i would. her interest would be so inebriating to me i am not normal about her at all

be my prof be my prof be my prof be my prof ughhhhh guys i had a very intense crush on my prof last year (i still think about her…) so i know exactly how i would be like in cham’s class. you’d think i wouldn’t be able to focus but i’d be so fucking locked in just so she’d notice me. that one student with perfect grades, her eager to please little mentee. it’s a drug in itself. my unhealthy perception of academic success would be further enabled by her and i wouldnt even care. i need her inside me in a metaphysical and physical sense, i need her to know me and fuck with me in a way only she can, to tease me with “absentminded” touches because she knows i desire her carnally and thrives on the control she possesses over me, to exacerbate said desires by bringing them to the surface at the most inconvenient times, to have me under hypnosis for half the fucking semester mnggghhhhh chameleonnnnn

this skin did irreversible damage to my frontal lobe. shes not even wearing a bra, just got them barely covered by lace and is going out dressed like this omg i need every person on earth to close their eyes like stop looking at her she’s mine. i deadass feel like an incel who’s seeing boobs in real life for the first time. i cannot express how badly i need her to destroy me, after i spend 3 hours between her thighs while her little amused chuckles at my eagerness turn into sighs and moans of pleasure, a firm grip on my head without a care whether she’s suffocating me… need her to guide my hand between her legs and teach me just how she likes to be touched. to pull me towards her chest with an inviting hand around my neck because she knows how much i wanna suckle her tits. she makes me so insane dude my spiritual dick gets so hard looking at her. bp rerun when

[fadelbison]

Well something kind of funny just happened but I think it actually proves my point even more so here goes: I was trying to construct an argument about how the discourse around Thai branded pairs being 'real' or 'fake' is so short sighted and insular because what fans are trying to ask is "do you love and fuck each other within this rigid heteronormative lens" but what they ask is more along the lines of "are your feelings for each other real" and when people answer with a resounding 'YES!' it suddenly turns into lying when the answer to the implicit question turns out to be no.

But the truth is that the relationships between human beings are very complex and things can be intense, real and even be passionate without it falling under romance. I think this is especially true within queer friendships where being a little bit in love with your friends is at this point a widely accepted phenomenon. Anyone here whose job feels less like a job and more like a Trial By Fire knows that the bonds between you and your coworker are very, very real. And one of those jobs is acting - period. In the context of branded pairs that partnership suddenly amps up in intensity until you truly are having a very unique experience with only ONE other person in the entire world. This was of course all leading up to Krist and Singto, about how Krist really, genuinely likes Singto SO much, about that one (recent??) interview that I can no longer find where Singto said that he had to reassure KRIST that he wasn't leaving because of him - about how it's not always clear to the people experiencing the relationship itself what is truly happening between them. And part of that argument was going to include a small anecdote about a friendship breakup I had with a friend I used to do theatre with in middle-high school.

Well. This post is no longer focused on KristSingto so let's just get into the anecdote:

When I was in the 8th grade I started an unusual friendship with an 11th grader (Z) because we used to do theatre together. Many things made it unusual - we were of the opposite gender, a 4 year age gap at that age is HUGE, but also that he was a very reticent dude that almost never hung out with ANY juniors let alone female ones. But we became friends because:

1) We were scene partners, in fact, I was playing Zs secretary so every single one of my scenes was with him, I was almost never backstage without him because my entire role was following him around and saving him from the evil machinations of his adviser. We were backstage alone a lot because our entry and exit cues hugely overlap

2) I was nursing a horrible, terrible crush on a different 8th grader (B) also in the production and somehow this scary, reticent older dude was a HUGE gossip.

3) Z told me several years later that him befriending me during the production was part of a terrible matchmaking plot that the 11th graders had hatched to get me and B together because apparently our yearning for each other was difficult to witness. B had his own 11th grade buddy (the evil advisor in fact lol) coaching him. Spoiler: It didn't work b/c 11th grade boys make for TERRIBLE matchmakers.

But Z and I bonded in a way that was eye catching, part of that was because we were killing it on stage. We had amazing chemistry and we were kids so no one was coaching us to have chemistry. We just did because we trusted each other.

I cannot stress this enough that we were a comedy duo, our scenes were not even remotely romantic in nature. He was the King and I was his Jester but still people were buzzing from just watching our practices. I had unknown random girls come up to me to ask about my relationship with Z (people are always nosy about connection lol). Not only did the 11th graders FAIL but their very plot was one of the big reasons why B and I never got together because B would go on to believe for YEARS after that I was in love with Z 😭

Anyway, Z and I stayed great friends for long, long after that production and well into our adulthoods. A lot of our early years was me being sad over my unrequited love for B but I had more interests lol. We were basically ride or die and even had a marriage pact. We planned our honeymoon, we talked about what our married life would be like. We were completely platonic friends. We stayed good friends long distance for several years when I moved away for school. The friendship ended because I found out he was lying to his GF (now wife!!) about when he'd come to see me/hang out with me. And that was so disrespectful to both me and the girlfriend that I told him that we'll only hang out again if he introduced me to his GF. The reason why this never happened could have been because of a lack of opportunity since I live in a different country but we did completely stop talking after this.

Anyone who's actually managed to read all that is probably like girl your relationship was not COMPLETELY platonic. And like...yeah I'm realizing that now. Getting some clarity on a friendship breakup from 8 years ago that had caused me a lot of pain only because I started writing about it because KristSingto decided to simulate nasty fucking on stage.

Anyway, life is weird and KristSingto are about as real or fake as any other human relationship 🤷🏽‍♀️

[ghostdoctor]

midoriya analysis because im fucking insane and hes insane

Midoriya analysis because I'm fucking insane and he's insane

Ps i won't be covering the movies bc I like to leave them as their own entities 

pps this contains spoilers

god okay so we all know that Midoriya has SOME kinda issue because... yk.... he was literally bullied and abused by his peers physically, emotionally, and mentally for all of his formative years and that's gonna FUCK SOMEONE UPPPP

but but but Midoriya so so obvi has a thing for escapism!!!! yeah, his quirk thing started before he was diagnosed as quirkless and then abused, but did you see how intense it got after he was abused??? how that was literally all he spent his time doing and how it was the only thing he was known for?? AND THEN. HE MEETS HIS IDOL WHO CRUSHES HIS LAST HOPE. and then said idol proceeds to try and build up an already destroyed boy (it doesn't work) because THEN we see even more escapism in UA because they make it so clear Midoriya spends so much time training and pushing himself to be a better hero because it's the only way he knows how to be useful and escape away from his reality of believing that's he's really not worth all that he's been given. Btw pls dont say that “midoriya is just ideally heroic he doesn't have a hero complex” this is an analysis for my opinion ty 

Midoriya can be viewed as a narcissist for many reasons as well but that is because he's a product of his environment. Honestly there's ways to show midoriya has a hero complex, is a narcissist, has self esteem issues, has a superiority complex, and more. Im slapping midoriya and going “This bad boy can fit sooo many issues it him” 

Another btw before you continue reading: I have really bad adhd and halfway through this forgot what I was writing about so my points get super blurry but I just wanted to state it here. I believe midoriya has severe self esteem issues and a hero complex. I can explain why concisely if anyone asks! 

Going by arcs now because I need some order to follow and regretfully can't just throw my thoughts about Midoriya at a wall and hope they stick (I will happily just spout nonsense at anyone who wants to listen): 

Pre ua-

Most of this I already covered in the above paragraph but I still wanna break down why Midoriya's childhood set him up for a hero complex and a love of escapism. As mentioned before, Midoriya has always had a love for analysis and heroes but it got much more intense after he experienced large bouts of trauma. You can see him isolating himself and getting completely absorbed into his analysis in multiple parts of the pre-UA sections of bnha. His hero complex stems from the fact that there genuinely was no one to save Midoriya. Because he knows what it's like to be alone without help, he takes it upon himself to save people (he basically says this himself too like my god this boy's hero complex is so so clear). Not to mention the fact that his abuser has been called a hero throughout his formative years. like….god….

All might training- 

And THEN all might destroys his dream by telling him he can't be a hero then LEAVES. Midoriya has not had a single good personal hero at this point. Like even his own mother doesn’t save him from this blatantly obvious abuse. So midoriya is just like. Left there to evaluate everything being broken in his life when he falls back on his escapism aka he walks to the scene of a hero feet because “[his] feet carried him [there]” ARE YOU KIDDING ME. he is literally doing something that brings him joy on autopilot. As a response to being told he can't do his life long goal by his idol. Following that he sees bakugou in pain and trouble and this is like right when the hero complex forms. The entire ‘feet moved before you can think’ IS NOT A GOOD THING!!!! He has NO self-preservation in this moment. AND THE ALL MIGHT PRAISES HIM FOR IT. literally cementing his hero complex as a ‘positive’ thing and not at all the self destructive thing it actually is. 

Following this all might tells midoriya he has to be the next symbol and that he has to be the one to make everyone feel safe. That is NOT a healthy mindset for a child to be in. Here Midoriya is told that he needs to protect everyone and this is where he starts to feel the need to be the one to fix everything, this is where he feels that everything is his fault. 

Usj-

Bro just got put into a hugely traumatic situation and did you see how he literally like blacked out when he went to protect Tsuyu? I’d also like to point out that at this point he's been told by all might that his lack of self preservation is a heroic quality. PLus plus plus being put into a situation like this would hurt your brain function so immensely, the adrenaline rush he must be having at this moment. 

Sports festival- 

Todoroki. Just the entirety of the todoroki thing. Someones gonna go “he was just doing the heroic thing, that makes him hero quality!!” BUT!!! I GUARENTEEEE MIdoriya saw some of himself in Todoroki then. Like, todorokis situation is ‘boy whos in bad situation with no one coming to save him because no one would believe him/step up against the number ½ hero’ and midoriya's situation as a kid was ‘boy whos in a bad situation and no one is coming to save him because no one would believe him and no one wants to help the quirkless kid’. So midoriya obviously took it upon himself to be the one to save todoroki and at this point he's had all mights words drained into him so he probably has taken it upon himself to save everyone in similar situations.

Hero killer- 

Speaking of people in similar situations: Iida! Sooo you're probably going “ghost. Iidas situation is NOTHING like midoriyas” and to that i say LET ME EXPLAINNNN because at this point iida has seen so many people be killed by stain that he more than likely believes no one can stop him but iida himself. This situation is ‘things are happening and no one is actively trying to stop it in the way I should, no one is coming to save this situation.’ so iida takes it upon himself and Midoriya sees this and recognizes it because of his own situation. 

Final exams- 

Bakugou. I have thoughts about this arc. Midoriya has no self preservation here at all. I could quite honestly say I believe midoriya is in some way suicidal. There is no ounce of non hero complex actions here. Midoriya takes it upon himself to save bakugou from failing the entire final exam even if bakugou doesn’t want that. And the their fight afterwards??? Where midoriya is like “youre all I look up to [bakugou]” (side note i hate calling him kacchan)???? WHERE IS YOUR SELF RESPECT MIDORIYA!!! BAKUGOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY FOR YEARS!!!!!! 

Hassaikai and Paranormal liberation-- 

Combining these because during both arcs midoriya shows absolutely ZEROOO self esteem and self preservation. These two arcs are combined because therye basically him on the brink of absolutely losing his shit and fully leaning into the hero complex.

Dark hero (so important r you kidding)-

R you serious rn..this is literally him going ‘no one else is fixing it so I WILL. in a dangerous way this IS the hero complex arc 

But it's also the most self centered arc midoriya has had. His entire childhood has taught him to rely on himself and only himself so it's a given that he would only think about himself when anything happens that he needs to take care of as he's the only one who's ever shown to care about himself and others for a large portion of his life. Midoriya is such a complex character but you genuinely can only tell if you look deeper than what bnha has on the surface of it which makes me sad. I’m not here to diss horis writing and world building skills-he's much better at it than me- I just wish he would go deeper into his characters issues than having them fixed in short spurts (momo)

[faithintheunknownsblog]

A/N: These are more for Canon Alucard… So don’t worry about some of the scenarios never happening, or maybe you should worry ;)

Also I’m ngl I got a bit lazy towards the end since I’ve been working on this for 12hrs straight

Also also- I accidentally made it sweet XD

Alucard NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The No Life King is also the Aftercare King, pampering you after every mind numbing experience.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Alucard’s favorite body part of his is his tongue, because he just loves to taste you; whether it be the sweetness of your cunt when he’s eating you out, or tasting the salty sweat that coats your body when he runs his long tongue across your skin during sex.

His favorite body part of yours would have to be your hands, even outside of the bedroom Alucard loves your hands. It’s because he knows what they’re capable of, he knows how easily your fingers can go from softly caressing his skin to effortlessly crushing an enemy’s windpipe.

He loved how you can gently run your fingers through his hair during innocent kissing, but if you’re not careful you’ll rip it out when you grip his hair at the roots during your orgasms.

The intense orgasms that only he can make you experience, because no one will ever be able to pleasure you better than he does.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Alucard kind of likes kissing after a blow job; it’s not that he likes the taste of himself- he doesn’t care much for it- but it’s the fact that he is the one that put the taste in your mouth.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Alucard might not act like it but we all know he likes it when you unintentionally hurt him; whether it’s biting him, or pulling his hair, or scratching down his back and digging your nails deep into his skin to the point where he’ll have bruises.

But don’t worry, he’ll get you back for it

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Is this even a question?! He has been around for SIX HUNDRED YEARS! Of course he knows exactly what he’s doing, and he knows exactly what he wants.

Though you have managed to surprise him with a few ideas

(I’m still debating on if human Alucard is/was a total man whore or not)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Alucard's favorite position to start out in is you riding him while he’s on his throne. He loves kissing on your neck and how you moan so close to his ear, and how his hands fit perfectly on your hip dips. But most importantly he likes seeing your face, so he can look into your eyes and how your pupils get so dilated when he fucks you stupid. He’ll say things about how you’re a queen and how he’ll share his throne… it’s a bit corny but cut the man a break

Then he’ll move you to a table or bed or flat surface where you’re on your back and he’s standing. It makes it easier for him to wreck your insides that way since he’ll have more leverage

G = Goofy (are they more serious at the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Alucard will sometimes make jokes beforehand in order to catch you off guard; making you all kinds of blushy and sending goosebumps across your skin because your thoughts turn dirty.

During sex though? Alucard isn’t necessarily goofy; yes, he will laugh as he teases and taunts you but that’s just because he likes you when you’re desperate for him. He loves it when you whine, beg, and plead for him to let you have the ‘honor’ of pleasuring him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Alucard is well groomed, keeping things neat and trimmed. Yes, the carpets match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

When Alucard first starts out there is no romance, you are nothing to him. He will treat you like you’re only good for one thing- and one thing only- being his personal fuck toy. During this time your pleasure doesn’t matter to him whatsoever, but he knows that you get off of him being like this anyway.

After Alucard gets all the sexual frustration out of his system he can be the softest and sweetest man because he became a hopeless romantic after he gained feelings for you. He will tell you sweet nothings

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Well, this is also kinda a dirty secret of his… he jerks off into your panties.

You have woken Alucard plenty of times by shifting in your sleep, and a few of those times you rubbed your ass right against his crotch.

The first time it happened he didn’t know what to do because he didn’t want to wake you up. But if he doesn’t deal with it you were going to end up waking up anyway because there was going to be something hard against your back.

He luckily got out of bed without waking you and snuck off to the bathroom, his plan was to jerk off into some toilet paper then flush the evidence.

But of course there was none, so in a panic he looked for something around the bathroom that he could use.

Alucard spotted the pair of panties that you were wearing before he stripped you of them so you two could fuck in the shower and decided that would be the substitute for the time being.

He wrapped the soft lingerie around his now throbbing cock and began relieving himself.

By the end of it he realized that he likes using your panties when he is unable to use your pussy. So now any time he gets a hard on at an inconvenient time he sneaks off to your room and grabs a pair of your dirty panties to use to relieve himself if he’s able to.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Oh my… where do we start-

I guess we get the obvious ones out of the way; BDSM for one

Size Kink because he likes that you’re so small compared to him and he’ll tease you for it when you try to act all tough

Gunplay without a doubt but it’s not where he wants you scared of the gun, he likes it when you grind against it. Oh yes, he will fuck you- well he’ll have you fuck yourself- on the barrel of his 16 in” pistol. Holding it in between your legs as he watches you shiver as you rub your clit against the cold metal.

He praises; “you take my cock so well” “baby your pussy feels so good” “mmm, just like that baby” “you’re so beautiful when you moan like”

And degrades: “you whine like a bitch in heat” “I bet you like it like that, huh? I wouldn’t expect any less from a slut like you” “I know a dirty whore like you can take more than just that” “beg for me” “you’re such a messy girl, look at the mess you made on my fingers” “

And can do both at once: “Good job slut” “my pretty little fuck toy” “you’re so cute when you’re desperate for my cock”

Dacryphilia, and he will tease you about it; “you’re so pretty when you cry” “oh look, you’re so desperate for my cock that you’re crying for it”

He might have a small hand kink, it’s definitely due to being touch deprived for years but also because he likes seeing how violent you can be with your hands

Blood play (as a vampire) once again going back to his violent nature, plus I’m just going to use the excuse that blood play is just food play for vampires :D

He just likes see you being violent towards your victims because you might be the big bad wolf to them, but in the bedroom you’re as submissive as a puppy

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

I think Canon Alucard would want to have sex in his room, it might be basic but he likes the privacy and it’s more intimate because nobody is going to hear you two. He is the cause of all those pretty moan of yours, so he believes it’s a symphony that only he should be allowed to hear

But some of my planned versions of Alucard? Oh honey… You poor little thing, he will fuck you whenever, wherever, and however (with consent of course) and you’re just going to have to put up with it

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

This is repetitive but; seeing you fight or fighting you him turns him on so fucking much

Seeing you in revealing clothing- if you’re in a mini skirt you best bet he’s going to have you keep it on while he fucks you.

If he can get to your breast without pushing up the shirt, the shirt is staying on without a doubt.

That choker you have on? He’ll tighten it so you’ll have a bruise tomorrow and he can’t do that, he’ll just work his way around it to get to your neck.

Those sexy boots you wear always look better when they’re on his shoulders

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Alucard won’t ever let you blindfold him or tie him up because he doesn’t like the feeling of being helpless.

He doesn’t really like being underneath someone as said before

But somehow he most DEFINITELY doesn’t mind it when you have his head trapped between your thighs. Like the man won’t let you choke him but he’s totally fine with the possibility of suffocating between your legs though

Also you’re not allowed anywhere near his back door- I’m not going to spell out the reasons why because if you know you know

Also he absolutely will NOT have threesomes, or be a cuckold because he is waaaaay too possessive to even think about sharing. He won’t do it, not ever.

Nor will ever have you watch him have sex with another person because he could never bring himself to

No watersports or scat play, nor is he into feet, or DDLG, also he may like blood but he won’t ever deal with period blood

Alucard doesn’t like hardcore nocon.

He does love seeing you helpless beneath him, but he will never take it upon himself to ‘force’ you into anything. Alucard always needs verbal consent from you directly before he ravages your body.

And he can deal with you telling him ‘it’s too much’ or ‘too big’ or ‘it hurts’ and things along those lines, that’ll boost his ego.

But Alucard can’t deal with hardcore noncon… Logically he understands that if he were to just grab you up and have his way with you it’d still be consensual unless you use the safe word.

But emotionally he could never bring himself to do such a thing as: drugging you, or pretending to kidnap and rape you, or have you act like you’re in fear for your life.

Alucard just CAN’T do it.

And most importantly he will NEVER pressure you into something you don’t want to do, NOR will he ever keep going after you use the safe word.

Idgaf if Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’ has him being a rapist as canon. This is my fanfic and I’ll do as I want and I want Alucard to always be a gentleman until he gets permission to do otherwise

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Alucard likes giving more than receiving, it isn’t that you’re bad at giving head; you’re actually the best he’s ever had. But tasting you is a more rewarding experience for him, plus he loves seeing every little movement you make. He knows how to work that magnificent tongue in ways that never fail when it comes to making you weak.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Once again depending on the situation; though Alucard typically starts out with a fast and rough fuck to get out all that pent up anger that he experiences after dealing with people. Also he’ll wreck you when you’re bratty because somebody has to put you back in your place, and that somebody will only ever be him.

Then once all that anger is out- or when he’s decided you’ve had enough and you learned your lesson- he’ll be so soft and sweet.

Though there are days where he didn’t even intend to have sex with you- it kind of just happened- and those are the days he is slow and sensual from the get go.

It tends to be when one- or maybe even both- of you have a bad day and just want comfort from one another. It starts out with a hug and a kiss, then turns into cuddles in the bed with you both having barely anything on. You were in his button up and panties, while he was only in his boxers because that’s just how both of you sleep.

But that plan starts to go out the window when he pulls you closer and gives you a kiss, that’s followed by another kiss… and another, and another, and another… then next thing y’know Alucard’s asking for your consent and you’re giving it to him without any hesitation.

So he’s on top of you, softly kissing on your neck and gently thrusting into you, hitting your sweet spot every time. He tells you everything you need to hear:

“You’re so beautiful” “I am so lucky I have you”

And depending on how far along the relationship is Alucard will confess all his feelings during sex, because he can use it as a safety net and tell you “I only said it in the heat of the moment”

But he’ll confess by sayings things such as: “I love you” “you’re my everything” “I want you to spend forever with me”

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t like quickies, sure he’ll have one every now and then, but prefers to go until he can’t any more. And that’s a really long time.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Alucard was around a long time before he was held captive in that basement, so he knows what he likes and doesn’t like. But he knows things have changed, so if you want to try something he’s down as long as it’s not you having any control over him and it’s not on his NO List

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Is this really a question? Alucard is a menace and can go from sunup to sundown, for days.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Most he has is blind fold and some restraints for you, but other than that he doesn’t have anything.

But you have toys and he’s not afraid to use them on you but he only does it to tease you though, to make you see how much you don’t need them because he can make you feel better than any toy you could ever find.

No toys are being used on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Alucard loves to tease, but also loves to get his dick wet. So the teasing happens until 1) he thinks you learned your lesson or 2) he can’t take it anymore. Then he’ll fuck you real rough and still manage to tease tf out of you while he’s railing you into next week

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Alucard isn’t too loud when he grunts and moans, but he will flatter you with that sultry voice of his. Though when he lets out that maniacal laugh it’s loud enough to rattle you to your core.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Alucard wishes he (or both of you) were human, because he wants you to have his baby and he’d have a breeding kink if it wasn’t for him not being able to get you pregnant.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Bro is 6’5” so leave that up to your imagination

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Alucard has been pent up for years and hasn’t had any sort of relief. He thought he was over sex because he never felt the urge to ever since he’s been reawakened, then he fell for you and that all changed. Now sometimes all he can think about you

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sometimes he can fall asleep directly after because being in your arms is so comforting and reassuring. You make him feel ‘safe’ in a way, which is ironic because you’ll never be as strong as him.

Sometimes he doesn’t fall asleep until hours after because he watches you sleep. It’s not in a weird way though, he just gets caught up with taking in your beauty and he revels in the fact that he found someone like you.

Someone who accepts his flaws, and his past, and can handle all the Hell that he’s most likely going to bring in the future.

You put up with all his mood swings, but you won’t put up with his shit when he starts being a jerk. You won’t let him blatantly disrespect you, and have no problem- or fear- when it comes to standing up for yourself. Even if you’re dealing with a monster as powerful as him.

And you accept he’s a monster, a monster who you know has killed a countless amount of people and has no problem with killing more.

But it’s not like you’re any better because you’re a killer too. A killer that is almost as fucking crazy as him.

He knows there is a difference between you two though, you have more morals than he does, they’re twisted morals, but still morals.

And that's only scraping the surface. Alucard has so many thoughts that keep him up… it’s hard to believe that you have caused the ‘King of Vampires’ to have so many insecurities that it ain’t even funny.

[autumnsvoice87]

My Somber Afliction

 Many people suffer and live with various physical afflictions. They are stronger than what we all realize. Even though they are in pain they try to live their lives as normally as possible. They get up when they don't want to. They wake up for the sake of their loved ones. Some people go through their whole lives being disabled from birth. Many of us become disabled over time. 

Even though I have lived with developmental disabilities for most of my life, I was not prepared to become physically disabled by 37 years old. There's a stereotype that this age is too young to have gone through what I have been experiencing.  Which in itself is not true. Physical ailments can happen at any age and since the body starts biologically aging and breaking down after 35, it is possible to be young and still go through a debilitating experience. 

It all began on one summer day. I love walking through nearby forest paths and live by a recreational park on a river. I decided to try to impress a new friend I had a serious crush on at the time. The problem with this is I am also a big person. Someone who has been obese and morbidly obese all their lives. Extra weight is hard on the body. 

 I decided to go for a hike with my new friend on these paths and walked about two to three miles. We traveled through dirt paths as well as concrete. The river was calm and the air was crisp and cool for a July afternoon. Birds and wildlife could be heard as well as the rushing waters of the river. It was peaceful. I walked up to the dam and back.  It was a total of about 3 miles. I was sore as I pushed my body past its physical capabilities.

The next day my back was in pain. At first, I didn't think much of it. I worked in fast food and am always sore or in mild pain from being on my feet. I took some over-the-counter pain medication and called it a day.  Or so I thought.

Throughout the next week, the pain was getting worse. Then after a couple of weeks, my left leg and foot were starting to go numb. It was like I was walking and standing on phantom limbs. I could still feel but it was like my leg was in a permanent sleep. 

My friend had gone through this before and one day after about a month of suffering, she took me to the emergency room.  She instructed me to tell them I pissed myself saying I would get treatment faster. I didn't want to suffer anymore so I listened to her. 

At the Emergency room, I proceeded to tell them that I pissed myself after the end of my work shift. My friend told them she had witnessed it since she was the one to have come to pick me up from work. The hospital ordered an MRI and other tests. It turns out I have a herniated disk pressing on my nerves.  

The doctor had called the on-call neurosurgeon and went over the MRI results with him. I was then told I would be rushing into Emergency back surgery the next day to take out part of the disk that was protruding into the nerves.

After surgery recovery went slow. My right leg was super numb after the surgery. There was nerve damage afterward. I had also developed an internal infection at the incision. I had to have a round of strong antibiotics. It cleared up after a week. After 3 months of healing and physical therapy after the surgery, I went back to work. 

About a year after my surgery, the disk herniated again, however, this time it was pressing on my sciatic nerves. I could barely walk or function. I couldn't sit without excruciating pain. I couldn't stand for long periods either.  I tried to work while in this pain but every shift I ended up only working about an hour with accommodations before the pain was so intense I was crying. 

The General Manager sent me home. I decided to take a leave of absence until I could figure out what was going on. The problem is I couldn't return to work within my absence time limit.  I got released, or so I assume. At this time I became 95 percent bedridden. I only got up to use the bathroom and even then some days I'd sit on the mighty poop throne and cry from pain. 

After an ER visit, they told me to contact my neurosurgeon. I did as such and got a new MRI done at the end of September. As it turns out the disk is herniated on my right side and pressing against the nerves on the base of my spine. Since I was morbidly obese at this time, they didn't want to do surgery. It was too high risk. The Neurosurgeon ordered a pain consultation from a different specialist. They wanted to do physical therapy and try different pain meds.  Over time we did find a concoction that started working. 

It has been a little over a year since my leave from work and I am still struggling. I am not likely to return to work anytime soon. However, I will say I have improved a lot since last fall when I'd just lay in bed.  I am not as bedridden. I can walk for short distances now. I can sit up without pain for 30 minutes, and I can do some light chores. 

 It's not where I want to be but progress is progress. This is all due to physical therapy and nerve pain meds. With accommodations, such as a pillow, I can sit in restaurants and socialize. I can walk through a store for about 10 or 20 minutes depending on if I am having a good pain day or a bad pain day.  Also, the sciatic pain that traveled from my lower back down to my foot, has lessoned and may be completely gone. However, I won't risk it. 

So even though the pain has gotten better, the numbness on my right side hasn't. Sometimes it gets worse and then better and then worse. This cycle repeats. The numbness makes me a fall risk. I already have spatial awareness issues due to other disorders and the numbness makes it worse. I feel unsteady on my feet half the time. I also walk with a limp because somehow this has affected my hip and the range of motion of my leg.  This itself makes going back to a physically demanding job harder. Due to this, I am not going to be able to return to the fast food or retail industry. 

Throughout my life, I have on and off lived through traumatic experiences.  I will say experiencing the level of pain I had was very terrifying. It took a toll on my mental health. One of the core principles I had was that I was never going to be like my mother.

I grew up with a disabled mother. She has similar back issues as I do, if not worse. She has severe scoliosis, three herniated disks, and had a neck fusion done in the 80's due to a car accident she had. She is always in pain. I saw her struggle but didn't completely understand it. She also felt deep shame that she had a hard time expressing. Her shame was put onto us kids. There were times when she treated us horribly because of her physical, emotional, and mental anguish.  It was hard to live with and I didn't want her physical ailments making me as bitter as her.  My mental health took a turn for the worse because it triggered some trauma over my mother's disabilities. 

At one point I said I would rather die than live with this pain every day. There is a high rate of suicide among people with disabilities. It is also not just about pain. It is also socioeconomic. People with disabilities who can't work live in poverty. I bet most who can't get assistance end up homeless. I applied for SSDI and there are so many things wrong with the system. There is a vast amount of discrimination against people with disabilities and it makes me fear for the future. I had to challenge my own internalized ableism and let go of old thinking patterns about being disabled. I understand now why suicide rates are high.

Before I became disabled I was already seeing a therapist for trauma, and a psyche nurse for anxiety attacks.  Due to my increasing suicidal Ideation, They upped my dose of antidepressants.  It helped and over time my mental health also became stable. I still have bad days where I just feel sad and depressed over my situation, but they are fewer than before. 

 I went from walking and hiking trails in a park to being bedridden. I was grieving a part of me I felt I had lost. Who am I as a disabled person? What does this mean for my life? I learned that I had taken so many things for granted. Walking, spending time with my daughter, busing around downtown, and being active.  Being pain-free (physically) is a privilege. For the first time, I felt what true gratitude felt like. 

Sciatic pain is the worst pain I have ever experienced. It is even worse than childbirth pain in my opinion, and I am someone who went 24 hours without any pain meds while giving birth to my daughter.  I thought birth pain was the worst at the time. The universe said, "Challenge accepted." 

My somber Affliction has taught me about a hidden world of sorts. Instead of a magical paradise, life is more like the dark side of Star Wars. However, I still hold out hope that this crisis will change for the better. 

[croissantatwaitrose]

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of this blog, so to celebrate, for the first time in AGES… HERE’S A FIC!

Nothin too special or original.. just some giant!slime happening to find a tiny!quackity and uh… yeah y’all know the drill ☺️

C/Ws: vore, sorta fearplay, mouthplay blah blah blah all of that

Great. Just fantastic. Of course he managed to piss off all the wrong people, and get himself shrunk down. Quackity sighed. It wasn’t the first time it’d happened, and knowing his luck? It sure as hell wouldn’t be the last. He hoped, even with his shit luck, that he wouldn’t run into any of the wrong people, ones he’d pissed off or not. In fact, he had just decided that he did not want to see anybody until he had returned to his normal height, which was convenient timing to hear that familiar enthusiastic voice behind him.

“Hello Quackity from Las Nevadas! …you are Quackity from Las Nevadas, right?” The one time he did not want to see Slime. Again. Just fantastic. Quackity turned around to see the goopy man kneeling down to get a good look at him.

“Oh good! I knew it was you!” Quackity did admire how, no matter the circumstances, Slime always had that bright sparkle of life in his eye, even behind glasses. It never faded away, and it was the one thing that made him look remotely human. Still, as much as he admired the good spirits the slime hybrid possessed, he’d have to crush them here and now.

The thing was, Quackity had, in the little time and privacy that he got, researched on Slime’s species after the last time he’d been shrunk, and Slime had been acting oddly around him. He’d found out that slime hybrids were prone to experiencing intense predatory instincts, especially towards those of smaller species. What that essentially meant was Slime could and would eat him then and there, mercilessly. Slime wouldn’t have any idea what he was doing either, and slime hybrids, when they spot a vulnerable prey, intentionally or not, could very easily persuade that prey into doing exactly what they want. He didn’t exactly fear Slime, but he knew he needed to stay away from him.

“Look, Slime. I need to be away from people until this stupid fucking potion wears off. No offence, but that still most definitely includes you, and I hate to say it ‘n all, but especially you.” Slime frowned, not really understanding.

“But… you need me to take you back to Las Nevadas, don’t you? I mean, it’d take ages for you to get anywhere at that height!”

There it was, Quackity noted. The subtle persuasion. And although he hated to say it, Slime was right. Where they were currently? Ages away from anywhere, and that problem would be quintupled for Quackity.

“I… suppose you’re right. Take me back with you then.” Quackity tried to ignore his own instincts screaming to run away as he climbed onto the slime hybrid’s hand. To his slight surprise though, Slime didn’t act upon any instinct he may or may not have been having either, and instead walked at a leisurely pace while babbling about god-knows-what.

Quackity took that as an opportunity to get lost in his own thoughts. Well, he was certainly having thoughts of jumping off Slime’s palm, but that would even more certainly break every bone in his body if he did so. So he ruled that possibility out. Or maybe, just maybe, he’d manage to get all the way back to Las Nevadas without being eaten - or better yet - until he was back to his normal height. Quackity didn’t want to just wait to see how things played out, but it was pretty much the only thing he could do.

He had been lost in his thoughts for so long that he hadn’t even noticed his slimy companion going silent. His walking had slowed a little, too.

“You okay-”

Slime quickly cut him off.

“Have you ever wondered what it’s like to have someone inside of you, Quackity?” No use of full name. Definitely suspicious. He scoffed nervously.

“Depends uh… what type you mean.”

“I think you know exactly what I mean.”

There was a long pause.

“I suppose not.. not really. No.”

“I think about it a lot, Quackity.” His expression was unreadable. Blank.

“Was there a point in asking me this?”

Slime suddenly tightened and readjusted his grip, holding Quackity tightly in his fist. The duck man had the air knocked out of him, now he could barely breathe at all.

“S-slime please let me go- you have no idea what you’re doing!”

“Sure. I can let you go.”

Slime held Quackity over his mouth. It was then that the winged man noticed that the slime hybrid was drooling. Panic swept over him in that moment. How long had he been suppressing this??

“Oh shit- not like that!” Quackity yelled out, but it was already too late. Slime had already dropped him in his mouth. And it was a lot more… wet than he had expected - but then again - he wasn’t sure what he had expected anyway.

He didn’t have time to ask himself that, though, as the even wetter tongue immediately assaulted him: spinning him around, licking him all over, pinning him to the roof of his mouth - Slime was clearly enjoying himself. The loud rumbling of the slime hybrid’s stomach made him even more nervous. He couldn’t taste that good… could he?

Things were going quite fast though. Before he knew it, he was being swallowed to the growling depths below. He tried to squirm frantically, but it made no difference, other than making Slime purr. Was Slime walking now? Maybe. Quackity couldn’t really tell. All he knew was that he wanted to get out of there. He didn’t even know how safe he was, but based off of the situation at hand, he assumed that he wasn’t safe at all.

He chose to fight back rather than wait to find out. He shoved at a stomach wall, but all that happened was his hand going into the stomach wall. Quackity hadn’t even considered that was possible. He would’ve thought that was cool, if it weren’t for the fact he was incredibly scared for his life.

What wasn’t cool was that he could feel Slime patting at him. The fuck? Did he really have to rub it in (punintended 😛)?

So he was trapped in here and he couldn’t struggle? Fantastic.

~~~woo timeskip of 2 hours my bestie~~~

After what seemed like decades later, the walking stopped, then a slight gravity shift occurred. Quackity hadn’t even noticed or cared, he was just so bored of being trapped in this little space. Around ten minutes passed with nothing happening. Then, a hand plunged into Slime’s stomach, and poked around until it found the duck man. This, Quackity did notice. The hand grabbed him, and it was then that Quackity realised it wasn’t a hand at all, but a paw. A fox paw. Fundy had come to save him? How did he even know Quackity was there?

Fundy not-so-gently yanked Quackity out of there. Fundy’s paw and the whole of the duck man were coated in green slime. He patted Fundy’s paw as a non-verbal thanks, before looking around for Slime. He was asleep on a chair. Bastard.

(We are NOT going to talk about how I didn’t proofread this… okay)

[jedzeb]

"A trip down memory lane" or something

For me, there are some songs that I listen to that remind me of whatever part of my life I would often listen to that song during. This is the power of music; the same song brings different emotions and different memories to each person, and can give you the feeling of being brought back in time.

Video games can be described as an escape from reality for many. This makes the unique combination of being brought to a time where you are experiencing another world. It feels childish, but despite that, this is a big part of some people's childhood and lives. So let's go back in time real quick.

Disclaimer, I'm going to use some remixes/remasters for these songs that I think fit the song better. Also, they're almost all Pokémon ;)

Pokémon HeartGold/SoulSilver ~ New Bark Town

The peaceful, first town music of each Pokémon game is always a nostalgic one, as it is the sound of a new adventure. Still being a huge Pokémon fan at the age of 20, hearing the starting town music from a game I played when I was 7 years old is a feeling like no other. It makes me remember the days where I had fun even without having to try understanding everything. This is a great studying or waiting song for me.

Minecraft ~ Volume Alpha

Nowadays, it is pretty widely accepted that video games can get very addicting and consuming. My first time experiencing this was with Minecraft. A simple game with endless possibilities, where you build up your own world, at your own pace, however you want. The song might be even more nostalgic than New Bark Town's theme for me. Being one of the most popular games in the world to this day, this song probably brings nostalgic feelings for many. As it is a slow paced song like New Bark Town's theme, this could be good study music. However, I don't personally listen to this.

Pokémon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire ~ vs. Wally

Perhaps one of the most interesting things in video games is the concept of characters. While they bring lots to the table, there is one thing that isn't expressed much: the fact that you are always the main character. In Pokémon, this means all of those around you will be weaker than you in the end, because canonically, you win every battle.

In the original Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald games, Wally was a character with little impact or meaning to the games. He was just a boy who was overprotected by his uncle, and who you would help start up his adventure. In the remakes (Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire), he starts off similar, but grows into a different character in the end. He is no longer another random kid for the player to crush on their path to become champion. Now he has the resolve to win, and doesn't care for being protected by his uncle. He gives one of the best speeches in the series, then goes straight into the hardest guitar theme in the series to kick off the player's battle with him.

A discussion on GameFAQS goes over how he feels like a different character altogether. In the end he still loses of course, but his battle theme is honestly one of my favorite songs in general, and I would listen to it at any time. It would be a crime to describe it with any word other than awesome.

Pokémon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum ~ The piano before Cynthia

The piano that every Pokémon player fears. It would have been criminal of me to not include this song, so here it is.

For context, this is the song that plays right before the player's battle against the champion of Sinnoh (a region), Cynthia. The battle against the champion is (usually) the climax of a Pokémon game. Whoever defeats the reigning champion is granted the title of champion for themselves, and is the end goal for the protagonist.

As you make it to the final battle, the intense piano begins to play. And before you is Cynthia, the girl who goes around studying the history of Sinnoh; little did you know that the whole time, she was destined to be your final opponent.

Looking and acting badass isn't all there is to Cynthia, though. Remember when I said every Pokémon player fears this song? She is notorious for being the most difficult "boss" in the entire series.

Overall, an epic moment to be remembered. Just chills every listen.

Kirby's Dream Land ~ Green Greens

Ah yes, Kirby. The adorable little circle that goes around eating things. Green Greens truly captures the fun of these games and the world of Kirby. That is all this song means to me, but that is okay. It's still a banger and the energy it gives is refreshing.

These songs and many others from games give a kind of feeling that I can't find in any other kind of music. I could listen to most of them in any way, but studying, walking around, and driving would be the best 3 things overall.

Below are some other songs I really like and will include in this playlist, but won't go into depth about (If you're into this kind of music, I highly recommend giving "vs. Trainer Red" and "vs. Zinnia" a try):

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time ~ Lost Woods

Pokémon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire ~ Zinnia's Sorrow/vs. Zinnia

Pokémon Gold/Silver/Crystal ~ vs. Trainer Red

Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon ~ Partner's Theme

[souldivide]

vent long personal heavy ok

it’s really helpless and crushing how im always cornered back to the same sad answer of how i should have considered the future earlier. my legs are in so much pain, im crying from how much my body aches and im simply told, you shouldn’t have been in your room all day — despite the fact i wasn’t allowed to go outside, and there was seldom walking space in our awful house. i was always sick, and always dizzy. it is crazy how dangerous black mold can be and yet we had a complete infestation of that and more. i want to consider pursuing a career ive had since i was a child though, im so passionate about art and i still am which might be a blessing considering how much commissions are hurting me mentally and perhaps physically .. opening several, several batches a year, constantly cramming them.. i think i want to do college. but i didn’t take on the scholarship i had when i graduated! i didn’t take the aid that covered my first year.. truthfully i didn’t think id make it so far. im insecure, im suicidal, im fragile. the past decade, i could barely get through anything without crying. it was humiliating to exist as i was in middle and highschool due to the living situation i was in, with no money and feeling i had no true support or even solidarity with my own mother, who must have been under much more stress than i was, trying to provide for her child. but still didn’t sympathize with me at all. the situation was hard, but i should have worked harder .. honestly, i do feel selfish for not having taken advantage of my moms effort to keep me in school, but ahhhhhh, i think it was just too much. i didn’t want to live like this. i was ashamed and disgusted, i still feel discomfort associating myself with that life. i cling to childhood and youth and traditions i missed out on because i lacked so much of that routine as a kid. is it so wrong to cry and want to die that you never got to experience a proper, loving christmas like everyone in your schools did ? no toys, no cable, only a tiiiny tiny laptop (like a 2008 chromebook-like thing) to keep me busy.. i wasn’t allowed to go outside of my own house to play with the dog, nor was I allowed to have anyone come over. wasn’t allowed to visit other people’s houses… not like i remember of that much anyways, as i barely remember anything from childhood except mortifying things.. i recently saw a way to connect to my mother by opening up. i confessed to her a lot of things as i was a mute child and never shared anything, never felt comfortable to — about how it affected me, about how i feel like im in stasis. i told her about what happened between me and my father, what happened between me and my brother, and i felt empty when she looked away from me and didn’t answer. No closure or comfort, and simply said that i should have taken advantage of my opportunities when I had them. And i have sabotaged myself. nothing else can explain for my disability, my mental health, and my plummeting education.

It took me 6 years to get an ID. 5 years to get a bank account. I don’t know how to learn how to drive and I am scared but I have to. i cannot go anywhere without someone’s help, primarily hers.

it feels too unfair, and i am still grieving for every year that passes by, even the previous year, that i am still locked in a house. i have never experienced much that i can call positive memories until i went to be with my best friend and my boyfriend. but that just made the memories painful too; when I think about how I have to end the trip. Board the plane or get in the car, and cry about how I have to go back home and be with my mother. it is not normal, to dread going back there so intensely. i wish i had a different life very badly, honestly, but a comfort i have now is that i think i am now strong emotionally and legally that i can make my own plans, manage my own bank, decide who i can visit without the permission of my mother. but. that is not because of my strength, and it is actually because she is sick. and she now has cancer as of september. I feel like i have been held in my mothers arms forced still for an entire two decades and the only reason she’s let go is because she is, her health is not well. And she has prepared me this week, a conversation of where to find her records, her files, her will, her passwords. Everything, if she passes away soon. i want to sleep forever, because i don’t want to wake up to a day wondering if it will happen soon. I don’t want to be in this position. I am scared. I wish I was with people I loved who loved me. i am shaking and sad. I wish I was too drained to cry anymore because I do it too much, for years. I wish I wasn’t such a sad person. I wish I wasn’t so miserable, I wish I had more happier things to think about when people ask me how I am. I feel miserably

I was gifted breath of the wild a couple years ago, now i am finally playing it. it helps i think. i really enjoy it most for the animal interaction and cooking and exploration.

[hesperidia]

maybe this opinion is unpopular but thinking about it. weirdest undead member is Koga. i mean, rei is there, a guy who sleeps in coffins (when he doesn't need to lmao) buried coffins around on his school grounds (this isn't talked about enough) has deplorable eating habits (woah me too) among a myriad of other things. and it's hard to outweird him really, but keep in mind rei grew up in a weirdass family with ???? traditions so it was kind of a given he would be the odd one out.

koga in the other hand grew up in a middle class, normalest family possible without any single problem. no sad backstory at all. he was just a normal guy who experienced the most soul crushing gay awakening on Rei and became obsessed with wanting to share the stage with him (i like to compare him to Mika, who wants to become an artist on Shu's level, to a minor degree) Rei inspired Koga and took him out of his ordinary life (go read backdoor. this is an order) and then Koga proceeded to become an straight up stalker. the way he trailed behind 2nd year Rei by his SCENT was not normal at all, it even creeped Rei out (there's a whole paragraph on crossroad of rei bitching to keito about it). Koga lit jumped off yumenosaki's first (or 2nd i can't rmbr) floor just to chase keito and rei around... this can all be explained by the fact koga was just an annoying teen fanboy back then. but no... he is introduced picking up a fight with KURO. kicks Anzu in the face. used to bungee jump from the academy's roof to train makoto. he got better but to this day he barks to ppl, still insists he's a wolf, gets agressive when ppl threaten undead or get disrespectful (in sandstorm he almost throws hands with Yuta iirc). and he gets jealous very easily (one of his homescreen lines is sulking bc kaoru and ritsu grew closer). oh and he also thinks his clothes being on fire (real fire, not an illusion) would be so cool. like??

What i want to say is: my guy (compared to Adonis and Kaoru) is so intense to a degree that escapes society's standards of normalcy and might be the weirdest chara in the unit when we consider Rei is conditioned from the start to stand out. Thanks for coming for my completely surface depth ted talk