#when I am sitting still I am mostly fine
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tj-crochets · 6 months ago
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Crafting update: I had the day off work, so I ran some errands and overdid it enough that my heart rate was acting up, so I decided it was a "sit and crochet" kind of day, except I overdid that too so now I have an almost-finished crocheted cauldron and a blister attempting to form on my finger, so no more crochet for me for a few days lol
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eikichi-supremacy · 10 months ago
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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thedreadvampy · 7 months ago
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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sherlock-is-ace · 3 months ago
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#idk if it's because i've given autism a very in depth look now or if i just always been like this and never really thought about it#but i'm finding it harder and harder to match my feelings to what i guess i'm supposed to feel?#like when something sad happens and i have no reaction to it#it's not that i'm not sad or that i'm glad it's happening but i just have no feelings?#which in turn bring put feelings of guilt because i'm not sad or worried enough...#it's such a weird experience and i'm of course not saying that autistic people have no feelings#that's so not what i'm saying#but it is a trait of autism to have difficulty pinpointing what you feel and also difficulty expressing it in ways other people usually doit#so perhaps it is because i've learned about that that I'm accepting that maybe i just don't feel things ''the normal way''#but i'm having a weird one tonight because my mom had to leave because of an emergency with my grandma#and it's 1am right now#and i am worried. of course i am. I don't want my grandma to suffer (although i have accepted she's not gonna live much longer)#but i still don't want her to die obviously#and most importantly I don't want my mom to have to go through that... to see her mother die? that's horrible#i'm obviously sad and worried#yet i'm sitting here drinking coffee and laughing at funny videos like nothing's happening#and i feel fine... like as if my mom was just sleeping at home like every night and not at a hospital visiting her dying mother...#and i know that years back i would have gone ''what the fuck is wrong with me?!'' and perhaps maybe forced myself to feel worse#or to cry or whatever because I can't be chill when something bad is happening...#and maybe i'll feel that way when my mom is back because I can't be calm and happy is she's sad#that would be rubbing it in her face#so maybe i'll feel more guilty then?#idk it's a weird feeling that i wanted to put into words#mostly for when it happens again i'll have a record of it somewhere#idk#angel talks#personal
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sysig · 8 months ago
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The most fun you can have, barring the pain and torture (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Helix#ZEX#Teisel#Max Vyer#Zack Fair#Vlad Masters#Weird fun fact??? The last time I posted Vlad was also in the same set as ZEX so uh????? Lol#I could not have possibly planned that so please just enjoy the serendipity - I certainly am lol#Anyway <3 Mostly leftover doodles for now! There's still more especially planned/in my notes but we're at a lull#And it's time for some silliness! :D Love silliness!#Starting with a very cute tiny ZEX ??ing at slippers - he really didn't wear footwear much - or at least it wasn't mentioned so lol#Max has barefoot energy too it's fine lol#And ZEX only wears shoes in his VUX form sometimes! Surely it's just as unnecessary for humans! Hehe#After I doodled him holding a pencil like half-properly I realized oh yeah - he wouldn't do that unless directed would he haha#Much more natural to curl - or at least as close as possible with fingers - around his writing implement :D#I do wonder what he'd think of human calligraphy brushes hmm - more natural? Less? He'd certainly enjoy watching but when doesn't he <3#Oh I loved him sitting and enjoying the rain ♥ Reminded me of Gaster :D Though this came well-first hehe <3#Just a very pleasant detail - amphibious lad loving precipitation hehe#Another simple one of hanging out with Teisel ugh he kicked his legs in the absence of his tail he's so cute weh ;;♥#Hey Max is actually here for a change!! I want to give him more attention he deserves it - especially with everyone being so mean to him :')#He just wants friends! He's barely here be nice to him while he is! At least Peter was nice to him haha#You only think he's creepy because you think he's fake and ZEX is real - they're both real don't be mean#Max's clinginess is so sad here haha :') Protect him pls <3#I love ZEX's asides with Vlad lol ♪ Man I really haven't drawn him in ages too long!#Okay but the image of ZEX in a nurse costume? Amazing he'd rock it - Max even moreso since he'd understand the context <3#Get this man in a skirt and heels stat he'll look So pretty ♫
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thisbrilliantsky · 6 months ago
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first time ever fainting and it happened at 1am when i am home alone and on the other side of the house from my phone. dont especially love that for me!
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quatregats · 1 year ago
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Guys will be like I'm so normal and good at socializing and then go to social events and stand in the corner looking like the autism creature the entire time (it's me I'm guys)
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angelstrawbabie420 · 14 days ago
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this feels so insanely weird
#my brother is switching to night shift at his job which is awesome bc he’ll finally have a set schedule w the same hours/pay instead of#being called in at who knows when#however this means i have to keep quiet all day and i already do ALL the housework so idk how im going to accomplish that#i cant just switch my schedule to his bc i have my own work during the day#OUGJHHHHHOUGH it’s also lowkey triggering bc my father worked night shift basically my whole life#and i remember what an actual fucking horror that was. probably 75% due to it being Him but id be lying if i said my brother does not share#well. many traits with the guy#i am so terrified he’s going to be angrier and dear god i do not want to go down that path#we still fight sometimes but it’s been WAY better the past few months#and if it dissolves into physicality like it had been im actually going to snap LOL#especially bc he’s said he’s been depressed lately which god do i understand however he does not handle it in a positive/safe manner#whatsoever it just turns into anger for him and then he takes it out on everybody#so while he has a more set schedule i deeply fear it’s still going to effect that especially with the change being SO sudden and not gradual#at all. he went in for a meeting yesterday to confirm and his new schedule starts TONIGHT#im so on edge it’s insane lol#despite actually doing pretty decently right now like my baseline is the best it’s been in months#tell me why ive been taking my meds so extremely sporadically (basically only when i start to get withdrawal symptoms) and yet i feel 10x#better than when i took them every day. my edginess has nothing to do w it i was fine before all this happened and even so im like. oddly#calm abt it#i want to go off them entirely just to see how i feel but the withdrawal after having been on them for god what? 6 7 years now? is HORRIFIC#i think a lot of the improvementing in mood is mostly getting out of the house more/socialization/exercise tho tbf#once again i just hope i dont hit a wall and burn out i think i may kms if that happens which is why im taking it as slow as i realistically#can. i cannot wait to have a proper paying job tho i think it wld be immensely good for me. SOMEONE HIRE ME YOU BITCHES#anyway packers game at 8. yippeeeeeee#im so bored rn tho i NEED to clean bc day off but alas. i cannot. so im just sitting on me ass. ough#im just yapping at this point. pray 4 me thanks.
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Dumping the start of the tags here cause tumblr has a tag limit of 30 :/ sorry op
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Okay hold on
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also more things I couldn't fit in. after cuddy bails out choreman chase gets assigned a bunch of clinic hours as Punishment TM. But mom-dad wilson (house is dad-mom) keeps him company till house gets angsty and comes to bail him out pick him up.
More I couldn't fit in at the end so I dumped here outta order:
wilson teahces the ducklings to paint since obvi house passed down his musical talents
rich kid chase got assigned clarinet at age 6. he's ok but has 0 heart. house jokingly points him towards a lyre in a music shop and he takes to it instantly. house go to tease him (baby angel lookin-) but chase looks so overjoyed and he says something like "look just like David played for Saul" so he melts on the spot (and convinces wilson to by him a kinnor so he doesn't know its his idea. he sings like a screeching alterboy tho)
I think cameron can sing but she's quiet and stumbles so she refuses to get formal training. she's tear rendering on a cello tho. surprisingly she can dj like all hell too. she had a wild college life before her 1st husband
foreman can sing smooth as silk. but he can't play an instrument to save his life (no patient for it). his dancing though? stage worthy. can be convinced to show off after a couple drinks.
Obsessed with the whole vibes of early season one of House. The ducklings have the energy of dysfunctional siblings along with their insane Vicodin-addict father. Wilson isn’t shown to have an office yet so he just lingers at House’s side while constantly and giving him fuck-me eyes. Wilson will just sit in on diagnoses and give his advice like he doesn’t have any responsibilities in the world. When the team needs to (illegally) shrink a patient’s tumor so it’s small enough to operate on, Wilson just says “alright” and does it along with Cameron. Chase does a silly American accent to fool a patient’s mother and it WORKS. Foreman is new and already despises everyone. House comments on how fuckable Wilson looks when Wilson is simply wearing a green tie and nice shoes. An old woman says that House has the same bedroom eyes as Ashton Kutcher. At one point the team, House, Wilson, and Cuddy all gather together in the small lab room to discuss a patient and are all basically brushing shoulders. Wilson reads a love poem out loud in the middle of the hospital to House. House eats tomato sauce that the team suspected was killing the patient. Wilson ditches his wife on Christmas Eve to go hang out with House and it shows a montage of them laughing and eating take-out. Cuddy greets House and Wilson by saying “hi, boys” like they’re kids. Foreman and Cameron are tasked to search a patient’s home and Foreman eats the ham he found in their fridge because he was hungry. The first scene with House shows him and Wilson walking down the hallway literally brushing hands and shoulders despite the hallway being huge. One of the first things Wilson does is lie to House. Wilson asks House — who rarely ever takes cases unless he finds them really interesting — to take a case and House just takes it. When asked why it was so easy, House just looks at Wilson with a smirk and says “you know why” and then they both smile at each other. This is all in the span of the first eight episodes.
#cameron watches the met gala with wilson and they make a tradition of judging the Shit outfits together (they both still suck at shopping)!#they still go shopping. but for silly obscure mugs! they make a death match outta it! foreman introduces them to ebay and decimates them!#it gets so bad house inlists amber to take them (wilson + cameron) shopping. somehow he and chase end up tagging along#chase and amber actually slay the house down. they are effective and vicious at shopping.#think crazy rich aunt who shows up once a month for a shopping spree therapy ses. and bad bitchin life advice. then you never see her again#later that night chase and foreman go out drinking. they have a bro moment get robbed and some how they're the ones who end up in jail#(probably for drunkenly disorder)#they get their phone call and chase is like noooo i cant tell mom and dad theylll be sooo disappointed in me :( (house is not)#foreman is like i gotchu bro and calls up cuddy at like 5 am. she brings rachel with her cause she cant be left alone yet#(its fine tho she was already up. kids r just Like That) she shows up eyebrow raised like 'Boys'.#foreman the lil shit points at chase straight face and says it was all his idea. his fault. tried to stop him but nooo he wouldnt listen 🙄#and since foreman is (canonically) cuddy's favourite she believes him.#thats how foreman gets brotherly revenge for chase always throwin the rest of the team under the bus and bein a lil snitch (affectionate)#chase regrets not calling cameron and facing her moral wrath for all of 5 mins. then they get to cuddys car#and chase lights up like a stage 4 cancer patient in a ct scan. cause rachel is in the car. and rachel ADORES foreman. finds him facinating#he's her new teddy. she asks him every question under the sun + leaves him covered in Child Stickiness. chase thinks this is an Opportunity#but plot twist foreman is great with kids. he listens and answers and gives fun neuro facts. rach makes the 😮 face kids make till shes 13.#she gets in trouble @school for diagnosing kids w/ stuff (mostly true) but her teacher is so confused about this kids family she just 👋#foreman always makes time for Rachel between cases holidays etc. and bring your kid to work day is right after her birthday.#so she goes every year spends the day in the teams or wilson's office. sitting in foremans lap until she just kicks him off and steals it.#also she has a height chart in foreman's Dark Shadowy Corner that she updates every year and everybody must Write A Note every year#on the flip side she hits chameron with the double 'why are you both blonde. sad.' and they both die of humiliation.#everyone thinks rachel'll take after foreman when she shows interest in medicine. she does. in a way. she goes into psychology :)#when she announces this (either in the clinic or in an ambulance over some guy who collapsed) house (who with wilson + cuddy coparent rach)#has what'll become known as The Great House Swoon of 2026 when rachel hits 18 yes i did math. he's fine tho. what's the logic behind this?#what season is it in? shhh no :) as a gift 4 college wilson gives rachel the dime she swallowed as a baby gold plated on a chain cause well#house md#gay dads hilson#h/w/c#the og ducklings
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pochaccoups · 22 days ago
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beggin’ on his knees — kim mingyu
pairing — kim mingyu x f!reader
summary — mingyu looks good when he’s on his knees.
wc — 2k
warnings — nsfw content. minors dni. smut, established relationship, slight sub!mingyu (he’s a big puppy in this), oral (f receiving), fingering, creampie, not beta read sry
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“Please?”
“No, Mingyu.”
“Pleaseee?”
“Mingyu, stop.”
“But… why not?”
“Because I’m still mad at you. No.”
You don’t spare your boyfriend a glance as he stands in the doorway, your gaze thoroughly fixed on your book—your book that you haven’t read a sentence of since he’d walked in.
“But you always let me eat you out before bed.”
You heave out a sigh, dragging a hand down your face in exasperation. “Well, right now I don’t want you to.”
A lie. You know damn well that letting him give you an orgasm or two would quell your infuriation at him, but you’re too stubborn. Mingyu is like a puppy—giving in to his sulking and pouting, however irresistible, only teaches him how to get his way. If you look up, you’re certain you’ll find a pair of pathetic, glistening eyes staring at you, and it’ll become so, so much harder for you to keep your foot down.
“But baby,” he says, so soft, in a way that personifies his affection for you. That one word in that tone of his is the first strike to your heart. “I can show you how sorry I am. Please?”
“Mingyu, I already-”
Finally he gets you to look at him when he beelines over to your side of the bed, takes your hand in both of his, and drops to his knees on the floor.
“Please, baby, I’m begging you. I need to taste you so bad.” He doesn’t hide the desperation in his voice, nor the pleading look in his stupid, round, pretty eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you for work. I’ll do better. I’ll make it up to you, I promise, and I’ll start with this. Please?”
It’s true that perhaps you’re being a little too cruel out of pettiness—you know his schedule is mostly out of his hands and how hectic things get for him. But there are times where things are in his hands, and still he ends up staying for drinks with the boys a little too long for your liking.
He looks fucking good like this though. In fact, your pussy throbs a little, seeing him like this for you—at your mercy. Despite the pinpricks of hurt he’d given you, you can’t find it in you to send him away.
“Fine,” you say, and he’s about to pounce on you until you stop him with a hand to his chest. “No, no. Stay there for me.”
Mingyu watches intently as you sit up, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed so that he’s sat neatly in between them. Unable to wait any longer, he’s reaching for the top of your pyjama pants, tugging them down your legs so hastily you’d think he’s running out of time.
It’s a wonder how he has the control to not tear your underwear off and dive straight in—instead he’s pressing soft kisses that drip with apology all over your thighs, letting his giant hands warm your skin as they roam over your legs. It’s a view you wish you could imprint into your brain forever: your buff, six-foot-three boyfriend on his knees, worshipping you.
It’s only when your hips shift ever so slightly, when Mingyu senses the very first shred of impatience manifesting within you, does he settle his face right where you need him. He presses all the way up against your covered cunt, nudges at your clit with his nose and prods at your hole with his tongue, fabric be damned.
“You begged for this, at least do it right,” you scold, sounding a little more breathless than you’d like.
Mingyu smirks. Of course he does—you’re proving him right. His hands envelop yours as you shove your panties down your legs, and before they can even hit the floor, the wet warmth of his tongue is licking at your awaiting pussy.
You’re kind of stupid, you realise, because why on earth were you refusing this in the name of being petty? He’s sucking on your clit and you’re already whining his name, while his fingers sink into the fat of your thighs and pry your legs open even wider.
Mingyu lacks both mercy and shame when he gets his mouth on you. He becomes depravity in human form, sounds of him slurping and spitting filling the room as he becomes drunk on your taste. His tongue is everywhere, slipping up and down through your folds, playing with your clit until your eyes are rolling back and you’re grabbing fistfuls of his dark hair.
“Mingyu, f-fuck,” you sigh, your spine curling off the bed, your hips rutting against his face. “Need more.”
And Kim Mingyu will never fail to give you exactly what you want, so he circles your sticky, drooling hole with his finger and slides it inside you. And his fingers are so thick that just one alone makes you shiver as it curls up into your sweet spot, and combined with the nonstop lapping of his tongue at your clit, it’s no question why there’s heat pooling deep in your core.
Then he does stop, much to your dismay. Well, he only pulls his mouth an inch away so that he can ask you with his glistening, pouty lips, “does it feel good, baby?”
“Yes-fuck,” you gasp as his finger grazes repeatedly at the most sensitive patch inside you. “Be a good boy and put your big mouth to use though.”
He obeys you without a moment’s delay.
Mingyu drinks in all your noises—the wetness of his saliva mixed with your arousal, the squelch of his finger pressing into you, and your shaky, breathy moans that are a barely coherent mixture of curses and his name. It’s your high, and yet he’s chasing it, too.
He lives for the long, high-pitched whine you let out when he slips another finger inside. He’s pumping them in and out of you with such vigour that his bicep starts to bulge, and when you pull on his hair for dear life he feels his cock jump in his sweats. At the same time his mouth is ruthless as he practically makes out with your pussy, and you rock your hips absentmindedly until you’re riding his face, and fuck, you’re so hot that Mingyu thinks he might cum untouched.
“God, Gyu, just-just like that,” you keen, melting under his gaze that’s both concentrated and hazy. He’s drunk and he’s focused, tuned into your body and the way your walls clench around his fingers, telling him you’re almost there.
It takes just a few more thrusts of his fingers and swipes of his tongue before your moans reach a crescendo, and the heat in your stomach erupts with vengeance.
While your thighs tremble on his shoulders, Mingyu pulls his fingers out from your soaked heat and brings them straight to his mouth. He makes a show of sucking your juices off them, moaning like it’s essence from the sweetest fruit. To him it is.
“I’m hard now,” he says in a whisper.
“So?” you ask, propping yourself up on your elbows to get a good look at him. Him still kneeling; his fluffy hair a mess; his cheeks and chin drenched with your cum; his sweatpants a tent. It’s so pathetic it makes your pussy even wetter.
“Can I put it in? Please?”
You pretend to ponder it for a second—he just looks so cute when he’s desperate for pussy. Then you become aware of how empty you are, and give Mingyu his next command: “kiss me first.”
He’s up now, pinning you underneath him as he does exactly what you ask of him. His lips are sloppy against yours, his tongue weaving its way inside your mouth. He’s kissing you with such want that it’s messy, disgusting almost, but your boyfriend will sooner die than not put his entire soul into something.
His heavy cock prods against you, just as shameless and imposing as Mingyu himself. It’s sticky with precum and so hard that it’s practically throbbing with need, and you wish you were stronger than this but you need him stretching you out now.
“Fuck me, Mingyu,” you mumble against ravenous lips.
He slides home immediately, until his balls are warm against your ass. Then he hikes your legs up on his shoulders and starts to pound away at you like he has something to prove.
The sounds he makes when he gets inside you should be embarrassing to him, but they’re not. Much less to you—hearing him whimper like a clingy puppy in your ear makes you soak all over his cock. You know people look at him and his towering height and his bulging arms and they see strength, control, dominance, and what they’ll never know about is this—that your pussy reduces him to a desperate, whining mess.
Every snap of his hips has you gasping, sends you reaching for the sheets and his hair. Now that he’s finally inside you, he’s taking full advantage of it, because God forbid you think he’s slacking after begging with his heart and soul. No, no—he’ll show you how sorry he is, make up for every minute of your time that he’d wasted, and he’ll do it by fucking you into next week, filling you up (if you let him), and tending to you like you’re royalty after.
“Harder, baby,” you sigh, even though you know that word is dangerous territory with him, but his thrusts had slowed a little in his pondering about how sorry he was.
But oh, does he deliver. More than delivers. Mingyu leans forward, folds you even more in half until your thighs burn, but when his cock is buried so deep in your guts the pain becomes dull. He fucks into you with every ounce of muscle he has, leaning his weight on you so that every stroke breaches past your cervix and touches your soul itself.
Sweat beads on his forehead. His cheeks are lightly flushed; his toned, tanned skin gleaming. Your boyfriend looks divine as he ruins your cunt, as though this is what he was born to do: to please you. You want him to keep splitting you open, to stretch you out endlessly. You want his warm, sticky load inside you even more.
“H-hah, Gyu, baby…” you pant.
“Yeah? Feels good?” he asks, hissing as you clench down on him at the sound of his voice.
“Mm, love the way you fuck me,” you moan. “But I want your cum inside me.”
Your words make his hips stutter. He bites down on his bottom lip hard, willing himself to not cum then and there.
“Want you to cum first,” he whines through gritted teeth, and you near scream when his thumb finds your clit to rub at it, quick and precise in the way that you stand no chance against.
Only a few more hard strokes is all it takes for your orgasm to come hurtling towards you, tearing through your whole body and making you sob Mingyu’s name while his fingers and his hips never let up.
The way your walls clench and gush around his cock as you cum is ruthless. It’s a vice, selfish grip, one that entices him to his own climax, because there’s nothing that gets Kim Mingyu off more than making the love of his life cum.
“Cum for me, Gyu. Make me happy,” you whisper in the aftershock of your orgasm.
He gives you exactly what you want, driving himself impossibly deep inside you and giving a strangled moan as you milk every last drop of his seed out of him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whimpers, letting your legs fall from his shoulders as he collapses on top of you. Even when he’s dry, his cock twitches, still, and you think it’ll be a while before he pulls out of you.
You hum, warm and content. Your hand reaches for Mingyu’s hair, fingers brushing through it as he comes down. His face is buried in your neck, and his soft, warm breaths against your skin threaten to lull you to sleep.
Eventually he mutters out, “I’m sorry again.”
You can’t help but stifle a laugh. He’s good at grovelling, that’s for sure.
“You’re making dinner for the rest of the week,” you tell him. “And if you have a late schedule then you’re ordering me something. And if you do leave me hanging again I’ll kill you. Got it?”
“Yes, ma’am. Do you still love me?”
“Yes, Mingyu, I love you.”
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gutsby · 1 month ago
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Halftime
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Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader
Summary: A chance meeting a week before Thanksgiving leaves you and your dad’s best friend to handle your feelings the only way you know how: fucking on the couch when your dad falls asleep during the game.
Warnings: 18+. Unprotected piv. Age gap. Soft dom!Joel. Daddy kink. Praise kink (!) Makeup sex. Pussy pronouns.
Note: ‘Or maybe on a fifty yard line watchin’ Bama beat the hell out of Tennessee’ is a line from Riley Green’s ‘Hell of a Way to Go.’ I was in Knoxville when we played this year, but in my fic, Alabama wins. If you’re a Vols fan, I’m sorry. And RMFT.
Word count: 10.5k
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
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Guilt brought you home, and liquor helped you stay.
These were two of the shittiest things a daughter could admit, but the fact was that you simply wouldn’t be here if your dad hadn’t broken his leg at work last week. That you wanted to help, but your patience was thin, and the only way you knew how to reconcile the two was to drink. A lot. Friday you came home, and by midday Saturday, sometime around eleven or twelve, you were plastered.
Staggering up the front steps of your childhood home with Theresa Servopoulos—newfound friend from camp and the heaviest drinker you’d met in a long, long time—hot on your heels. You’d just had brunch, and the meal was mostly liquid. Bottomless mimosas had been Frank’s idea, and when his husband Bill had offered to be the DD after the fact, you’d had no choice but to accept, really. You drank your weight in citrus and champagne and spent the whole morning getting to know Tess’s friends. As your state of intoxication progressed, you’d told them your troubles and all that had been plaguing you lately.
Now, hours later, you didn’t want to think at all.
You wanted to sit your ass down on the couch, turn the TV on to Disney+, and spend the next three to thirteen more binging Star Wars spin-offs and discussing with Tess at length whether Katee Sackhoff or Timothy Olyphant was the more fuckable supporting actor.
“Honestly…I’d let Jabba the Hutt hit,” you confessed, slurring your words a little as you fumbled for your key.
“You’re fucking lying,” Tess half-groaned, half-laughed.
She watched you try and jam metal into metal and fail twice before steeling herself against a rocking chair and reaching out her hand. You waved it away. At a distance, you heard the hum of an engine and another voice, loud:
“You ladies need a little help over there or wha-at?”
That was Frank. He was arguably the most drunk out of the three of you and hanging his handsome, greying head out of the passenger side of Bill’s Chevy S-10. He’d seen you try and fail with the key, too, and seemed more eager than ever to lend a hand, while his husband was likely kicking himself for ever offering to drive you back.
Tess gripped the porch chair harder and gestured, dazed.
“Give her a minute, she’s—” She hiccuped once. “—intelligent and entirely capable. She’s got this, OK?”
You didn’t. You really didn’t. And by the way you were finessing this key you didn’t feel too fucking smart either. You crammed your key against the tight, rigid slot in the front door of your home, missed it completely, and then wondered, dimly, how men were able to aim their dicks.
How Joel ever managed to fit that massive, throbbing—
“Fuck!” you cursed, kicking the doorframe with a huff.
The periphery of your vision was spinning and swimming a little now, and before you knew it, Tess had snatched your keychain from out of your hand. She got to work.
And while she did, you turned back to Bill and Frank, whose truck was still idling quietly in your driveway.
Frank had an eyebrow raised. His chin was in his palm, and his elbow was planted in the car’s open window. With that look alone, you knew what he wanted to say.
“Fine…fine,” you capitulated in a loud, droning shout. Head spinning, “You can give him my fucking number.”
Frank grinned at that.
“No shit?” he yelled back.
“Yeah. I really am that horny.”
From somewhere in the car, Bill groaned his disapproval. Frank’s smile only widened. It’d been his idea to set you up with one of their neighbors after you’d divulged all of your dating life turmoils over eggs benedict and grits that morning—how fucking your dad’s best friend had, in fact, not been the wisest decision and you needed something new to get your mind off the man for a little while. Frank had been all too happy to offer supplying your number to the so-called ‘dreamboat’ next door to them. Initially, you’d brushed it off, but the longer you stood on this porch contemplating the hellish few days you’d be spending at home for Thanksgiving, the more you drunkenly reasoned a dick might do you some good.
And if it wasn’t from Joel Miller, even better. You leaned against the nearest porch column and pointed at Frank.
Then at Bill, squinting dumbly and faux-accusingly.
“I’m desperate, but I’m trusting y’all, too, alright?”
You wanted to get fucked, not fucked over, again. Frank seemed to understand right away and nodded his head.
“I’ll give him your number, tell him you’re hot—which you are—and you two can work something out. It’ll be fine.”
He pointed back at you, still smiling, and you hoped it would be. Behind you, Tess had solved the puzzle of the chrome-plated house key, and had thrust the door open. She stumbled inside, and your feet started to follow hers.
“Tell Tess to text us your number!” Frank had to cup his hands saying it, as Bill was already starting to pull away.
You nodded and waved. Watched the world veer sideways and your kind, considerate, hammered new friend-of-a-friend repeat how great this was going to be—this guy’ll do you so good you’ll forget Joel exists—while you backed into the house. A gust of warm air from inside pricked at your skin, and along with that touch came the tiniest trace of hope. A sanguine sort of warmth that twisted low in your gut and made you smile.
And cup your hands, as Frank had, while calling to him:
“How old is Mr. Dreamboat, anyway?!”
The truck was crunching its ways down the gravel drive. Its path was slow, though, and Frank’s voice was clear.
“FORTY-ONE!”
It was as though you were hearing those words in a dream. You almost couldn’t help what you said next.
Fanning yourself, you yelled back, “I lo-o-o-ve that!”
“What?!”
Frank hadn’t heard you. They were farther away now.
You had to practically scream it now, but you were drunk enough that you didn’t really care. Tess was entertained, half-hunched on the floor and trying to work off her shoes while she laughed at this stupid exchange.
In truth, it didn’t matter how loud you yelled, because you lived on several dozen acres of land, and your dad wasn’t home. He’d told you that he was hitching a ride with Tommy to their usual weekend haunt to watch the Alabama-Tennessee game, and it started an hour ago. The house was empty, and you were free to screech.
“I said, ‘I love that’!”
“Yeah? Love what?!”
Frank was hanging halfway out of the passenger window by now, and his face was flushed with moronic humor.
Bill was probably grinding his teeth together as he drove.
“O-O-O-OLD MEN!” you shrilled, as loud as you could.
Next thing you knew, Tess was on the floor. Wheezing.
It didn’t matter whether Frank could hear you now; evidently, he’d gotten the message. Their truck was crawling down your drive with a low, rumbling crackle, and the eyes that were still glued to yours were shining.
Before they turned out of sight, Frank waved again and blew you a kiss, as you and Tess had done to him at some point earlier that day. He slipped back into the car, and your sides were nearly aching from how hard you were giggling—nothing was even that particularly funny, but with a nice noontime buzz and Tess’s relentless cackling from across the foyer, you couldn’t help it. You shut the door, staggered over, and were about to drop.
Right when you were about to collapse, though, Tess wobbled up. You saw her raise two hands in front of her.
“I’m— I’m gonna pee…or puke…possibly,” she warned.
That wasn’t good.
You pointed up.
“First door on your left. Do you need any—”
But Tess was already staggering off. You might’ve laughed again, and trailed after her with a plea to try not to projectile vomit all over those nice festive towels your dad had bought, but the moment came and went quick. In fact, it wasn’t even brought to an end by your friend’s departure but rather the screech of her feet on the floor.
Nearly tripping over herself to leave, then crashing into something else before she could. You heard a thwack.
Then her huff, ‘Fuck. Sorry!’ And you turned.
You looked up and cursed.
Again, you felt like you might be in a dream. Only this time, the sight had more of a nightmarish hue, and you had only to grip the edge of a chair—no, a table, a side table—beside you in the hall to keep yourself upright.
Your sweet, sloppy-drunk friend had run straight into Joel. She was raising her hands again and saying sorry.
You could tell she meant it, too. She was just shaking her head, appearing to try and rid herself of the stunned, dumbfounded feelings, when she tilted her chin up.
Then, somehow even brighter, she smiled in recognition.
“Lucien Flores!”
Not missing a beat, like you knew she wouldn’t:
“You fucking prick.”
Of course she was sober enough to remember his face. The time she’d mistaken him for an uptight FEDRA counselor back at camp. How you’d fucked him on her bunk. All the shit-talking you’d been doing about him since, too. You knew she wasn’t a woman to mince words, so it didn’t surprise you in the slightest when next she placed a hand on his pec, patted it lightly and added:
“You’re an asshole. A spineless, slimy, sad sack of shit.”
Joel blinked as she walked past him, toward the stairs.
“Good to see you, too, Tess.”
“Eat shit and die.”
“Theresa.”
You hadn’t even meant to say the last aloud; it just came out. Tess was holding the rail, going slow but determined to get upstairs without losing her food all over the floor.
The next thing you heard was the slam of the bathroom door. You winced and thought of your dad’s decorative towels a moment. That thought was then supplanted by another, though you pretended not to feel it, at least outwardly. You brushed past Joel to go to the kitchen.
Why was he here? He surely wouldn’t have come unless your father was there, and your dad was supposed to be watching the Vols take the ass-beating of a lifetime from the Tide. Or maybe vice-versa. You weren’t sure how the latter was doing since Saban retired. You rubbed one temple as you opened a cabinet and looked for a glass.
Reconsidering, you opted for a plastic cup instead.
Your head was throbbing as you walked to the sink.
You sensed you likely weren’t of a mind to be holding anything fragile, and the second that followed only proved it. A footfall sounded by the kitchen island, and you flinched, dropping your cup like a fucking idiot.
“Where’s my dad?” you blurted out, not thinking.
You didn’t want his voice to be the first to fill the silence. You picked your cup off the floor and turned on the tap.
More silence followed. You couldn’t be sure if it was your own drunken paranoia or a genuine feeling of two eyes on your back, but your skin bristled. You were prepared to pose the question again when your answer came in the form of a new sound: not Joel’s voice, but another’s.
An announcer, apparently. You turned your head and saw ESPN on the living room TV, where the game was playing. In front of the screen, your dad was supine on his recliner. His jaw hung slack, and his eyes were shut.
So much for those morning beers with Tommy.
His leg was armored with a boot: a real, no-bullshit cast meant to protect the tibia he’d shattered, propped up in front of him while the other dangled haphazardly from the chair. You watched him, feeling an odd mix of pity, nausea, and love, and for a second, you didn’t think to move. This man was the reason you were home, after all—and why Joel was, too. You almost forgot your anger.
Your cup was full. Overflowing. You turned off the sink, then poured what excess you could as your hand shook.
You shouldn’t have been holding anything in that moment, off-kilter and unnerved as you were, but you wanted to seem occupied. You inhaled and started past Joel again, who was leaning against the counter, quiet.
He still didn’t talk, and let you stroll about half a foot in front of him before you felt the cup lift out of your hand.
“Hey—” you started.
But Joel was resuming your path before you could finish. He’d snagged the water from your grasp and made his way out of the kitchen, calmly, and you didn’t have to ask to know where he was going. You felt a pang of rekindled resentment but said nothing, knowing that was useless.
Arrogant motherfucker. Patronizing asshole. Clearly, you couldn’t be trusted to carry a cup of fucking water up the stairs in your own home, so he had had to do it for you. You went over to your father in the living room, blinking through a dozen more pissed off thoughts, when you glanced down at one of your hands again. You winced.
Stop shaking.
You needed to stay busy. Make use of those dumb, trembling hands while Joel was here and not let him see that it was all from memories of him—not the mimosas—that you couldn’t keep a steady hold to save your life.
You started to clean, mindlessly. Cleared the old coffee table of its manifold beer cans and plates of stale pizza. You walked with an unsteady gait, the room still tilting a little, but you ended up getting a decent amount cradled in your arms and into the trash or the sink shortly after.
You had just taken a bite of a slice of pepperoni and made a face when your dad shifted in his seat, letting out a grunt. Still unconscious, he rubbed at his arms. The house around him was warm, but never quite enough for a man who appeared to have been born cold-blooded. After years of this, you knew the routine; you dropped your pizza, went to the thermostat, and cranked it to 75.
Less than a minute later, it came: “Boiling us alive, huh?”
It was the first you’d heard from Joel since he spoke his curt greeting to Tess. You were over by the closet getting a blanket, and Joel was stood in the doorway, frowning.
You turned, holding up the big wool throw for him to see before you went back over to your dad in the recliner.
“He needs it,” you replied, gaze averted.
“By ‘it’ you mean his electric bill gone through the roof?”
He could be such a father sometimes. The worst kind.
“No, keeping him fucking warm, Joel.”
And the end of the last sentence you hadn’t meant to be so loud. Or mean. You didn’t really care whether it offended him, but the thought of waking your dad to hear that—being rude to your ‘Uncle Joel,’ as your dad had so innocently called the man last month—was awful. You squinted seeing him stir under the blanket, but then he turned to the side and snored even louder. You sighed.
“Doctor’s got him on some heavy painkillers. He’s been out since before the last game even ended,” Joel said.
You glanced at the TV. The game was crawling to halftime at a snail’s pace, by the looks of it. You smiled, seeing those puke-pumpkin-hued fucks getting smoked. In a second, though, the curve of your lips was fading.
“Will you stop?”
Your voice was shrill. You hurried over to Joel, who was busy dicking around with the thermostat and trying to get it down to 68 degrees—freezing, in your dad’s mind.
“It’s too hot.”
“No, it’s not.”
“You’re being—”
“This isn’t your fuckin’ house, Miller! Quit!”
“Yell a little louder, why don’t y—” Joel began to scold.
You wouldn’t let him. Of all things to get on your ass about now, volume wasn’t the hill he’d die on today. Before you even realized what you two were doing, you shoulder-checked him like you might do an annoying brother, and his arm wound swiftly around your front. It didn’t hurt, but it sure as hell made you mad to be held.
You made a jab at Joel’s ribs and ignored the grunt from him. Anger was a natural defense—your default state.
Every last semi-tranquil encounter you’d shared with someone you cared about before was always marred by rage at some point, and with Joel, it came as easy as breathing. If you weren’t tearing each other’s clothes off, you were ripping him a new one, or he was grating your nerves. You didn’t get along, and you likely never would.
That didn’t mean there wasn’t need there somewhere. You just smothered it with something hostile, constantly.
You wished it would go away. You shoved at his arm.
“You’re gonna wake him,” you hissed, strained.
“Yeah? That’s what you’re worried about?”
You wriggled against Joel’s hold and, scrunching your nose, made a pass for the dial on the wall. He caught it.
Now he was holding your hand in one of his, and your shoulder with the other as his forearm crossed your chest. Joel’s frame was looming over yours, and you glared ahead of you, where the screen still read ‘68.’
You could throttle him—Joel Miller simply refused to lose
“Is that all you’ve gotta say to me, after this whole time?”
His breaths were tight like yours, but the voice was slow.
“What else is there to say?” you snapped.
“You’ve been ignoring me all month.”
“I’m in college. I have shit to do.”
“Like block all of my calls?”
“Go fuck yourself, Joel.”
“Just tell me why.”
“Fuck. You.”
Your last two caustic words were still warm on your tongue when Joel turned you around. Again, he wasn’t forceful or harsh—your looks had enough vitriol for the two of you—but he pushed your body against the wall. Right beside the thermostat, your spine straightened, and your legs wrapped reflexively around his waist.
“Is that an invitation?” he hummed, voice palpably lower.
Un-fucking-believable, you thought. Of course, it was.
Silently, you prided yourself in wearing a dress that day. It wasn’t the short, red-and-white gingham thing you’d worn to the fair with Joel last month, but it was loose. Flowing. Easy enough for him to hike up your legs, sliding a coarse, warm palm up your thigh while the other held you tight to the wall. His hips pinned yours, and with that gesture, you felt him hard and desperate in denim.
“Need me to fuck you now or what? Is that the only way I’m getting a word out of this mouth?” he pressed again.
Honestly, it was. You nodded once to say as much.
Then he pushed you harder against the wall. He wrestled with his jeans just enough for you to hear a belt, and a button, and a short, sharp zip come down, and your mind was swimming with filthy ideas when he grunted.
Joel nosed your cheek, and a hand made its way to your mouth. You sucked in a breath right before you felt three fingertips graze the seam of your lips. Prying them open.
“If I’m fucking you here, I need more than a nod, kid.”
You really, really hated him now. This felt like a game. His index curled into your bottom teeth and pulled your mouth open wider, while his own was smiling, faintly. It was hard to talk with his fingers skirting your tongue—his warm, bare member springing out and grazing your folds through your panties down below—but you tried.
Your words were muffled as you spoke, “Please fuck me.”
Clearly, that was all Joel needed. With an easy nudge from the head of his cock, he pushed your underwear to the side, and his grin got bigger when he felt you soaked.
You were drooling down his length, and he hadn’t so much as touched you before he pushed you up against his body. It felt almost shameful as he slid himself inside.
Then, in the next moment, your brain went blank. Your bodies were joined completely, and Joel had you seated all the way down to the base of his cock, where a tuft of salt-and-pepper hair tickled your skin. His fingers hung limply from your lips while he nestled in; when you groaned, he used his middle and index to stifle the noise.
“Shh, hey—” he started, as if suddenly remembering where he was, and whose daughter he was fucking, “You’re okay. You’re good…I know that feels good.”
You despised him even more when he was right. He pressed the heft of his belly into you, and with the friction, you couldn’t help but whimper against his hand.
“Fuck you,” you bit again, this time through fingers.
“I am.”
Then he pushed them in further, and he made you suck. Joel started fucking you gently against the wall, and with the first few strokes, you knew you’d be putty soon enough. You focused on feeling and trying not to whine.
“I’ve been texting,” Joel continued, breath labored, sounding half-crazed, “Calling every chance I got—”
He paused to jerk his hips harder. Make you bounce on his cock or maybe just hold him closer from the force of it. And you did, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and reluctantly burying your face into the side.
He was familiar, that was for sure. You tensed seeing something else familiar—your dad in the next room—and preemptively swallowed a moan while Joel kept going.
Fucking you stupid and talking to you, per usual.
“—to make sure you were OK,” he finished, panting.
Pulling his fingers from your lips so you could answer:
“I’m fine.”
“Are we?”
“You lied to me!”
And no sooner had he retracted his hand that he needed to clamp his palm over your mouth. You’d said that loud.
In the next room over, through the open space between the kitchen and the den, you heard your dad snore softly. When your gaze flitted back to Joel’s, it was like you were chiding the other at once—whose idea was this, anyway? Slowly, he moved his hand down, but his gaze was stern.
“Didn’t mean to lie,” Joel answered, now lower than ever.
“But you did. Dad’s been fucking his old sidepiece, my mom’s best friend, and you didn’t think to tell me?”
“I didn’t think it was my place—”
“Your place?!” You made sure to keep your indignation hushed this time, but your eyes went wide. Incredulous.
You would’ve shoved Joel off if he hadn’t moved first. Neither one of you had had a fraction of the presence of mind to be thinking straight here, obviously, so when he carried you closer to a table in an adjoining room, all you were thinking was how not to lose your cool completely. When Joel tried to set you down on the wooden surface, you slipped away. You moved to the couch; you weren’t even considering where you were going, just that you wanted more of him, and you needed to be done quick.
If that meant fucking on the sofa behind your dad’s recliner, so be it. Joel balked a second before following.
“Are you…?” he started, voice no louder than a whisper.
“What? Not your ‘place’ here, either?” you shot back.
Admittedly, you were both insane. No matter how far away your dad’s sleeping form happened to be, or how thoroughly knocked out he appeared from the drugs, this was batshit, objectively. Joel’s eyes narrowed at you.
Then he moved some more. Casting a sidelong glance at the recliner less than ten feet away, he gripped himself and gave you a look as if to say, ‘Are we crazy now, or…?’
You nodded to confirm that you were.
By moving again, apparently, Joel was saying the same.
Except now it wasn’t with words but with a look—eyeing you hungrily and setting all rational, sane thought aside to climb over the couch to you. Your legs were spread.
Joel slotted himself quickly between them, then inside you, without another word. His body crowded yours. The scent you knew was also the fragrance you hated most: the smell of his American Spirits. He tried to kiss you with those lips, and you dodged them, choosing instead to hold the coarse greyish hairs at the nape of his neck and pull them. Draw him closer to your body without letting him get too close to you. Joel let out a grunt.
His hips rutted in short, quick, shallow motions again, like he was desperate to feel anything. When you wouldn’t accept his lips on yours, they fell to the side of your face. He held your sides while he dragged his cock in and out of your pulsing heat, and his breaths fanned heavy on your cheek. His stubble was sharp on your skin.
“Anything you want,” he huffed shortly.
His mouth was right by your ear, and his words were spoken in a breath. And another. And another. Still panting and dragging his old, weary hips back and forth in an effort to pleasure you. He felt indescribably good.
“Want…what?” you murmured back.
You clawed at his torso and locked your legs around his waist. You glanced over at the recliner, turned away from the couch, thankfully, and hoped it wouldn’t move again. Your dad’s breaths were deep, and so was Joel inside you
Sliding a hand under your head and cradling your body to his, and still maintaining a bruising pace with his cock—you almost couldn’t take it. You wanted to come undone.
And there Joel went, murmuring in your ear. Battling the urge not to get too loud with your father there, but still:
“I’ll do anything…anything you want.”
“W-Why? For what?”
“To say I’m sorry.”
“You don’t—”
But your words were cut short. For a second, your heart leapt into your throat thinking the sound was coming from your dad’s old chair, and then you realized that it wasn’t. Just the same, your terror spiked again when you sensed it was somewhere inside—coming from the back.
“Can I get a…ROLL TIDE?!” someone yelled.
Tommy Miller wasn’t even an Alabama fan.
Still, it seemed he was here to celebrate like one anyway. You froze momentarily, taking in the shout, then the steps, then the linoleum floor of the mud room being shuffled across before the boots were kicked off quick.
His brother was quicker. Joel climbed off of you in a blink, jeans and boxers trailing just as fast. Then his hands were dropping to you, gripping your arms, and heaving you up. You stumbled. You shoved your skirt down, fast, and barely had the time to breathe while you skittered after Joel, still in his hold. The two of you ran like hell: quiet, but like your asses might’ve been on fire. You made it out to the foyer, and from there, you could hear Tommy making a fuss in the kitchen. Joel strode three steps at a time going up the stairs, and behind him, you nearly face-planted. He tugged you up then, swiftly.
Silent as death at the top of the stairs and trying to usher you into a room, not saying a word. You dug in your heels
“Wait. Wait—Tess?”
“Napping in the tub.”
Of course. You cast one last pensive look at the bathroom door before you let Joel nudge you away.
You were pushed into a room; you knew it was yours. Steeped as you were in fear, shame, and lingering inebriation, you couldn’t waste a second getting in—and neither could Joel. His frame followed close while Tommy’s old, familiar sounds grew louder downstairs. He ushered you further, walked you forward, pushed you in an inch or two too far, and before you knew it, your knees were bumping along the front of your bed. You tripped.
Your hands flew out to break your fall. Unfortunately, the limbs that were meant to stay straight were weaker than you’d hoped, and instead of holding you up, they crumpled beneath your weight. You fell on your face.
The spot where you landed was soft, though.
You let out a muffled grunt into cotton sheets.
Across from where you lay, Joel’s steps were slow—painstakingly so—and when you’d propped yourself up and blinked again and again to adjust your eyes to the dim half-light of the room, you could see him there. Pacing. Skating a look to the doorknob, as if checking to make sure he’d locked the thing properly, then running a hand through his hair. From your perch, you saw a wince.
Then his face turned to you. Again—guilty.
What the fuck am I doing here with you?
That was what you thought you saw in his expression, anyway. You felt compelled to ask him the very same.
“Why are you here? Why is Tommy here?” As if to punctuate your question, more footfalls followed, loud, “I thought he was taking my dad to the bar. And you—”
“I know. He was supposed to. Then he texted and said your dad crashed before the Notre Dame game even ended, so he figured he’d head over to the bar himself.”
You were about to speak, but Joel continued.
“I said he was an idiot to leave your dad home alone, since the man can hardly walk on his own. So I came.”
You swallowed. While some momentary swell of gratitude threatened to constrict your throat, you forced out a frown and scooted back. The room swayed a little.
“That the only reason?” you asked, clipped.
At the foot of the bed, Joel held your gaze. It was stern. Your own vacillating look was no match for the man who, in spite of the two or ten beers he’d likely guzzled that morning, could stand firm. Prop his hands on his hips.
Look every bit the displeased fatherly figure while he watched you crawl across the plush, pink bed at length.
It wasn’t right. You saw it in his eyes: the want painted there, however burdened by shame they might’ve been. No doubt seeing your childhood bedroom had kicked the guilt into overdrive, reminding him, plainly, that he was his age, and you were yours. And his best friend’s kid. The irises that shone in the glow of warm white fairy lights overhead flitted to the canopy where they hung. Joel sized up the mesh overtaking most of your bed, all flowing and girlish and juvenile as it cascaded from the four wooden posters, and he had to shake his head. He blinked faster, as if trying to rid himself of some thought.
“I’ll go,” he choked out.
“Alright.”
You unzipped your dress and let it fall to the bed the second Joel had started to turn. He stopped. Got himself an eyeful and probably could’ve bruised every fingertip from how hard he tightened his grip along his belt loops.
He watched you slip out of the fabric, then brush it aside. Clothed in just your bra and panties, you went to the nightstand and opened a drawer. You leaned down.
And, while you kneeled and bent over to reach, Joel was afforded a too-perfect view of the wet patch in the fabric between your legs. You could’ve sworn you heard a groan before you crawled back over to the place where you’d been—American Spirits and a lighter now in your hand.
“Where’d you…” Joel started, only to lose his train of thought the moment you sat and unclasped your bra.
You lit up, comfortably. Nodding to the window.
“Mind opening that?” you asked him.
Joel stood back and stared. He squared his shoulders, seeming poised to say ‘no,’ when his gaze dropped lower.
“Those’ll kill you.” But he was just looking at your breasts
Reluctantly, he moved from where he’d fixed himself at the center of your room and walked over to the window. He slid the pane up, but he didn’t let his gaze stray from you too long. As soon as the smoke found a place to go, he turned. He shook his head again. You smiled, then.
“These are yours,” you replied. You bared your teeth at him with the cigarette in between them, teasing a little.
After, you closed your lips and inhaled once. You blew a breath through your nose and let the smoke trail out. Joel scowled as he took a step closer to your bed.
Somewhere downstairs Tommy had cranked the game up louder. You could hear the blare of fanfare and a booming, cheery voice announcing a first down.
Meanwhile, Joel’s jaw hadn’t flinched. His lips were still curled in that sour, unsightly grimace. He had to have gotten a good deal of practice doing that while you were away, with every text, call, and FaceTime you’d declined over the past month, you imagined. Now it wasn’t so much a matter of being ignored as it was getting smoke blown into his face that made him irritated. Galled, even.
Joel made a pass for your mouth as if to take the cigarette away, but you were too quick. You slid back.
“Finders keepers,” you chided, trying not to giggle.
“Give it.”
“Make me.”
“Kid, don’t start.”
Joel’s face was turning pink as he leaned in again. In no more than a second, though, you’d made it safely out of his reach. He had to plant a knee on your bedspread, grit his teeth even tighter, and stretch his frame further in, and just when he’d gotten within half a foot from where you sat perched at the head of the bed, you felt a snap.
Or perhaps heard a groan and surmised the rest. Joel cursed, ‘Fuck!’ then fell to his elbow, hissing with pain.
He gripped his side, and he winced. Your eyes went wide.
“Joel?”
The cigarette fell from your lips; as soon as it did, Joel swept a brusque, graceless touch in your direction. He held tight to his side while he swatted the thing away. The second the still-lit stick hit the covers, Joel had it brushed to the side, sending it flying off of your bed.
His nostrils flared when he stood again. He crushed the cigarette underfoot. He looked pleased—then pained.
“Joel!” you hissed. This time reaching for him, and catching him narrowly before he lurched into your bed.
“‘M’alright. Stop, stop. It’s okay.”
Joel grunted, low. He held one bedpost. He clutched somewhere on his body close to the small of his back, and you could tell he felt a strain. He noticeably tensed.
“I’m fine.” And then he was starting to wave you off, too, “Lifetime of smoking’ll do that to you. And turning forty.”
You believed him. What you wouldn’t accept was how fast he tried to bend down and retrieve the cigarette from the floor. His cheeks flushed red with the effort.
And just when he’d started to tilt, you tugged him back.
You gripped his shirt and yanked him onto the bed.
Maybe that wasn’t the best for the muscle he’d pulled. At any rate, though, it was better than straining another by trying to pick up a cigarette butt, you reasoned. You hadn’t even jerked him that hard, and your bed was soft. Joel fell with a thud amidst a sea of satin, plush faux fur, a half-dozen pillows, and a mound of stuffed animals. His lips frowned as if annoyed, but the eyes betrayed relief. He breathed out a shallow puff of air once he’d settled.
“You need to stop smoking.” Grumbling now, of course.
You wanted to pinch the pout clean off his mouth.
“Yeah, really, Joel? You first,” you shot back.
“I’m old.”
“No shit.”
“Watch it.”
For someone who’d practically thrown out his back just bending at the waist, Joel Miller loved to wax poetic on the dangers of Big Tobacco. And getting old. By the time he groaned and laid flat, you decided you’d had enough of this sexless intermission, and you straddled his hips.
“Wh—” Joel huffed in protest, pushing at hands all too eager to act on his belt, “You still haven’t answered me.”
“What was the question?” you returned, careless.
But you knew it clear as day: Are we alright?
The old man didn’t stop the path of your hands, but he certainly made a show to try and pretend to stall their speed. He watched, curiosity piqued and shame still roiling in his gut, and he let you unbuckle, unzip, and finally free him from the confines of his briefs. He sighed.
It was then that you felt him hard against your palm, firm as he was before. Your mouth watered even more. When your eyes flitted up to his for permission, you didn’t expect to find resistance there, so the subsequent grip around your wrist took you back. Joel seized hold of your hand in his, and, rather than stopping you completely, he paused it in place. Sank your touch into his groin, as though tempting you with the outline of his bare length.
That was cruel. He knew what feeling him did to you.
“You know exactly what question I meant.”
What such a move would do to any girl in your position—freshly fucked and eager for more—and in your bed, no less. You didn’t care for the guilt Joel harbored today; he didn’t get to demand answers you weren’t ready to give.
“What? Feeling bad for boning your friend’s kid all of a sudden?” You smiled, voice devoid of any humor as you tried to pivot subjects, “Didn’t look like that downstairs.”
Shame flared in Joel’s eyes. Two could play at this game.
His grip tightened around your wrist, and he kept it still. In spite of this hold, you were able to flex your fingers the tiniest bit and take him snugly in your hand. He held you, and you held him, and for the next few excruciating moments, that was all either of you could do. Until:
“I would do it again.”
And then Joel’s touch was moving yours. Rubbing him. Seizing your hip with his free hand and rocking you back.
Making you hold his gaze while his dick swelled bigger.
“I don’t care if that’s wrong,” he added through his teeth.
“Wrong,” you mumbled absently. Touching him more.
It was as though you both were rooted in place by warring feelings—Joel by guilt, and you by knowing. Needing each other, and being unable to break apart. Words flowed like molasses; their end was no less sweet.
“I’d fuck you anywhere you asked if you would just—” Joel broke off suddenly, taking a breath, “Forgive me.”
Please.
The eyes beneath yours were pained with remorse.
You squeezed him tighter, and you stared more carefully.
“Here?” It left you more like a breath.
“Here.”
Your skull still buzzed. Your vision still wavered some. You could scarcely hope to know what it was that made this man a worse intoxicant than every drink you’d guzzled that morning, but the way he reached for your body and slid you back in the bed made answers pointless anyway. All you needed to know was that he wanted you, too. You could sort out the rest of it later; you let him lie you down
Joel was out of place here, that much was obvious. Clearly, no man skating through middle age belonged in the bedroom of a girl as young as you—and that was overlooking the paternal connection altogether—but all the same, he guided you back. Trailed your body with his. If it weren’t for the greys and the striations on his face and the legions of freckles bred from decades spent baking under the sun, he might’ve struck you as a much younger man. His every move now seemed to show it.
His hands shook like yours had earlier.
He watched you slide under the covers, then swallowed.
“Still cold?”
“Yeah.”
He gave you a long look, as though considering what to say. You beckoned him over and decided to talk for him.
“Like father, like daughter, I guess,” you added. Teasing.
You could hear the groan start to bubble in his throat, but Joel let you pull him in. He climbed under the sheets.
Like a much younger, doubly nervous teen around his date past curfew, he slotted between your legs with a moment’s indecision. He shed his clothes but was slow. Your gaze flitted to his torso, then his legs, and watching him gingerly undress, you couldn’t help but grin a little.
Both of you were naked in under a minute. Joel’s body was like a furnace searing hot between your thighs.
And while you smiled at him, he frowned down at you.
You might’ve expected anything next, except hearing:
“We aren’t gonna be parents anytime soon, right?”
You choked.
“What?”
Joel blinked.
“The Plan B, I mean,” he went on, color crawling up to his cheeks. He blinked harder, like he’d been dreading this, “Wasn’t sure if you ever got your…yeah. Just wonderin’.”
Just wondering.
After Joel’s Cenozoic-era condom had broken the first time you two had ever fucked, you realized you hadn’t bothered to tell him if you ended up getting your period. He’d probably been trying to ask that over the course of several dozen unanswered texts and calls the last month, but you’d been radio silent. Your drinking today had to have given the truth away, but you still felt a pang of guilt
You admired his sincerity. You didn’t want to mock it.
But when your lips twitched the tiniest bit, Joel’s did too. He’d heaved a sigh of relief before you’d even answered him in words, and for a moment, things were easy again.
“I’m sorry, Miller. That probably had you scared shitless.”
“It did.”
And, under most other circumstances, you probably would’ve expected him to chastise you for it a little. Chide you for your immaturity and shake his head, because this was always how it went. But he didn’t.
Joel smiled back instead, and he kissed your forehead.
You blinked, shortly summoning words to try and deflect.
“I mean, like…can you even imagine us having a kid?”
“I can’t. I think I’d be…” Joel trailed off, at a loss.
“Pissed to be changing diapers in your fifties, I bet,” you finished for him, and that made him laugh. You joined in, grinning, and for a second you almost forgot he was still between your legs. His cock softened against your belly.
“You’d be a hot mom. I’d be an old dad,” he countered, suddenly lowering his face to kiss and nuzzle your neck. When the ebbs of your laughter were renewed in a fit of giggles, and your feet kicked helplessly under the covers as he used his mouth and hands to tickle you then, you had to choke through your words—‘Joel, stop, I mean it.’
“Ticklish and hot, I forgot.”
His fingers were relentless on your ribs. You kicked again.
“Don’t fucking test me. I—I will kick you out,” you warned
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Go on, then.”
Evidently, the thought of ordering him back downstairs with your dad and Tommy seemed like the least likely outcome at the moment, so Joel kept tickling you. He moved his lips to your ear, about to whisper something stupid and teasing, most likely, when you jerked yourself the other way. You slid just far enough to reach off the bed. While you clawed at your nightstand, Joel simply draped his body over yours and went on kissing and touching and relishing the sounds you were making—even while you were cursing his name under your breath.
“Go. Go. Enough of this shit, Miller,” you finally told him, nudging Joel back and waving something in his face.
“Wh—”
“Since getting knocked up is the last thing either of us wants, and we’ve been terrible about playing it safe…”
It didn’t take long for Joel to recognize what it was. As soon as he’d lifted his head to ogle it, you didn’t let him stare at the box of condoms for more than a second or two before tearing it open. Its seal had still been intact.
“New stash for someone special?” Joel hummed, low.
“Nope. Just you.”
Your old friend didn’t seem to appreciate that remark, returning your smirk with a roll of his eyes, but he took the metallic-wrapped rubber when you offered him one anyway. He tore off the top. He probably would’ve liked to put the thing on, but with all the time and brainless banter that had passed, he had to get himself hard again. He eyed you once, and, wrapping a hand around himself semi-erect, he seemed to want to say something more.
You wouldn’t let him. You kissed him, and he kissed back, and with your legs sliding around the backs of his own underneath the soft, warm sheets, he probably forgot what he was going to say. Your lips and tongues intertwined without needing those words to be spoken, and before long, Joel was growing harder. He sucked in a breath when your hand reached down to touch him, soft.
Joel grunted when your touch replaced his. While you stroked his length, you could see the muscles tense in his stomach. The heft of his belly was smooth, and firm, and protruding with little patches of black and grey hairs, and the man looked so undone already with just your fingers curling over his shaft. You would’ve held him that way for as long as he asked. Would’ve relished the warmth of him in your hand, the way his breaths grew more ragged as he kissed you and let you pump him gently between your body and his. You might’ve mistaken it for something romantic when he reached up and brushed the hair out of your face, before pulling away and mumbling, ‘That’s it. That feels real good, sweetheart. You’re doin’ so good.’ But being the way you were, you couldn’t accept such intimacy without wanting to shy away. You pushed his words aside and reached for the condom in his hand, swallowing thickly as you did.
The latex went on quickly. Joel hardly seemed of a mind to try and slow things down with his body just as taut, on edge, and desperate as yours. He planted an arm beside your head, and you guided his length between your legs. It felt cozy. Tender. Nervous like this could’ve been your first. A little strange seeing how you’d done this multiple times before—had started it just downstairs, against a wall and on the couch—and somehow, felt different now.
Joel sank in, and both of you groaned.
“I missed you, baby.”
It came from him all in the same breath. Your walls clenched, and he said it again. You peered up at the man, half-expecting to see his eyes shut and the feeling of you guiding his words more than anything else—he hadn’t meant you, but what was between your legs. But when you looked, you met his gaze. Joel was earnest, clearly.
“Did you miss me?” he panted, hips dragging back.
With the head of his cock drawn all the way up to your entrance, tip stretching that soft, sticky flesh, you could scarcely do more than whimper. You laced your fingers together behind his neck, felt him push in again, and suddenly, the sensations churning low in your gut got warmer. Stronger. They made you want to hold on longer
He felt so big inside you. Overwhelming you with his size and his scent and the way his lips trailed over yours while he fucked you; it all seemed too much to give a response.
Joel kissed you again, and your bodies fell into a rhythm. You squeezed his neck, let out a breathy whine when his cock grazed something soft and sensitive between your walls, and then pulled away fully to look down and watch.
He did too. He kissed the crown of your head, mumbling:
“See how good we fit?”
Those words could’ve sent you over the edge. Your body shuddered at the next thrust, feeling the warmth of his breath still fanning across your face, and you nodded.
Your eyes all but glazed over as you watched Joel’s big, glistening cock disappear and reappear from inside your body, coated with your arousal and the rubber and looking every bit as dizzyingly good as it had before. The wet noises only increased in volume the more he sped up, and with the need blossoming in your stomach, you had no choice but to moan. Joel plunged even deeper.
“Did she miss me, at least? Did she miss her daddy?”
Your walls clenched at those words—‘she,’ ‘daddy.’
Still, you couldn’t speak. You just nodded back.
Joel’s motions grew stronger, and with every stroke inside you, his cock hit something plush and sweet. You had to bite your lip to keep the sounds from coming out too loud, but the effort was almost wholly in vain. The harder he went, the more your throat came to betray you. The more Joel seemed keen on getting you to speak.
“Feels like she does, hon,” he said, tone dulcet and low, “Pussy’s been squeezin’ like she needed daddy here.”
That was true. Your heels dug deeper in his ass, and you felt something tender swell up inside, almost painfully.
Joel was moving your whole frame with the weight of his thrusts—your body bouncing beneath him, the bed creaking under the force, your old childhood room being filled with the sounds of your blooming pleasure and his. Your cunt stretched even more; it begged to be fucked deeper. Though your mouth couldn’t form the words, it seemed Joel was more than able to make out the rest.
He brought his thumb to your clit. He rubbed it, then caught your lips in a hot, steady kiss when a whimper from yours was just about to threaten to tremble out.
“Atta girl,” he grunted against your mouth, “That’s it.”
His hips worked faster. His thumb moved with even more precision, more persistence, as though begging your pleasure to come. You could feel the sweat bead on your skin and his; your bodies seemed to blend together. Your legs tightened around his sides, and while he fucked you and kissed you more fervidly then, you could feel your resolve start to slip. You broke from the kiss, panting.
“I can feel her, honey. Keep goin’,” Joel urged.
You weren’t sure if you could. It felt good.
It felt safe. You hadn’t felt that in a while.
Or maybe just since you’d been away.
You thought of the last, vulnerable state you’d been forced to endure—feeling hurt and betrayed after Joel had lied trying to keep you ‘safe’—and your body tensed. You held tighter, but you also couldn’t lose that feeling completely. You were so close, and there was still something else you couldn’t yet define, or explain.
“Cum for me, baby,” Joel kissed the side of your mouth, knowing the feeling coursing through your body too well, “Take what you need. Just let her feel good. It’s all okay.”
All okay.
Your walls fluttered again; your moans grew breathy and faint as Joel’s cock wedged deeper and deeper and his kisses grew softer along your face. It was evident you were there—you knew you were there—but then, the way you felt was like no place you’d ever experienced before.
You wanted to tell him something.
You met Joel’s gaze, and you almost did. Then he withdrew and fucked back in, and all words were lost.
The headboard thumped against the wall; you didn’t hear it. Joel’s one free hand was cradling your cheek, and his face drew closer, and right when you sensed the man was about to drop another kiss, you felt release, at last.
A snap.
A dizzying blow.
Your climax struck with all the force of a seismic wave, and, at the same time, you could feel Joel groaning, pulsing, spurting thick ropes of cum into rubber while his gaze stayed locked on yours and your body came apart. The look from him was sickeningly soft, even at his peak.
Intimate, again.
You couldn’t help it.
With your legs trembling, cunt spasming, and eyes still plastered to Joel’s, you felt that something resurface. This time, you didn’t have a hope of keeping it inside.
“I— I— I love you, Joel. I love you,” you stuttered out.
Your voice was tight. Your eyes burned with tears you hadn’t even sensed might threaten to appear with it.
You broke down and felt the sudden urge to sob.
And, just as quickly as you did, you shoved him off.
Regret flooded your chest. You shouldn’t have said that.
Joel was slow to move, no matter how much you tried getting him away. He was still in your bed, crowding your space—and worse yet, he was staring at you, eyes wide.
“Baby—”
“Don’t.” Your gaze was still wider. Wild. And remorseful, “I didn’t— I’m sorry, I just— I didn’t mean to say that.”
Joel had pulled out, but he was still between your legs. You slid backward in the bed, cheeks flaming with heat.
He followed.
He reached out.
“Please don’t,” you begged, shaking your head before his touch could find you. Your pulse thundered in your skull.
The sound almost drowned all other noises out.
At the next, you wished it would deafen you completely.
“I love you, too, baby,” Joel said.
No sooner had his palms come to rest on your face when you were shoving them away. Standing up from the bed.
“You don’t mean that. I didn’t mean it. Just— just stop.”
“I—”
“Need to go.”
You hardly realized it, but you were pointing to the door.
Joel was just getting the condom off, about to stand up from where he was, when a new sound startled you both.
The garage door was closing. Tommy shouted your name saying he needed help bringing something in, and for a second, you both froze. It was happening all over again.
You knew you couldn’t risk getting caught another time. Not with your father in the house, unconscious or not. Silently, you thanked your lucky stars for the opportunity afforded by this moment—getting Joel out—and bent to grab his clothes off the floor and throw them, one by one. He dressed, albeit reluctantly. He opened his mouth to speak again, but you were busy racing to throw on your own clothes, thinking of ways to get him out unnoticed. You heard the door to the garage slam shut downstairs.
“He’s gonna be back any minute. You need to go, Joel.”
“Come with me. We have to talk—”
“I have nothing else to say.”
“But you—”
“I lied. And so did you. Just like before,” you gritted out, “You can spare my feelings—I didn’t fucking mean it.”
He felt bad, that was all. You could see it in his eyes.
The pity, the self-loathing, the guilt; it was all there.
The sight made your stomach turn, and though your legs weren’t steady or sure underneath you in the slightest, you knew you had to go. If Joel didn’t intend on making things easier, you would have to leave first. You felt him reach for you, saw the plea in his eyes and knew how wrong this really was—that you had both fucked up—and couldn’t stay there. Again, you wrenched yourself away.
You didn’t give him the chance to protest. You heard words, dimly, but barely had the sense or self-possession to process one syllable of it, so you left. You bounded down steps, pulse hammering even louder than before, and you didn’t think to turn around or let Joel follow or even remotely allow yourself to stop feeling embarrassed
Leaving was for the best anyway.
If Joel had lied once, he’d lie again.
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Downstairs, you cleaned. You folded laundry.
Joel had snuck out a while ago, having slipped from your room, down to the kitchen, and out the back door while Tommy was busy retrieving beer out of the garage. You’d gone down there to distract the younger Miller brother while Joel packed his shit up and left. Like he was meant to do. Luckily, Joel’s departure was quiet, and Tommy was all too happy to have some help toting cases of Budweiser inside. Your dad and Tess were still fast asleep
And now, nearly half an hour later, you had only to sweep the hardwood floor, fold your clothes, and busy yourself as best you could—or else grit your teeth so hard you could’ve broken your jaw. You were so fucking dumb.
“Almost done?” Tommy poked his head inside the room.
You’d told Joel you hated him last month. One measly fuck and you’re spewing, ‘I love you’? What the fuck?
“Just about,” you replied, dropping an old shirt of your dad’s into the nearest, neatest pile, “You heading out?”
Tommy jingled his car keys in his hand and hummed to say that he was. He had a happy, Alabama-just-beat-the-shit-out-of-Tennessee smile on his face as he stood there
“Yeah, I’m going back to Mando’s now to celebrate and watch another game. Was wondering if you wanted to come along,” he said, leaning against the door frame.
“I would, I’ve just got so much shit to do around here—” Gesturing indistinctly to the mountains of clothing stacked high all about the laundry room, “—cleaning.”
Beating yourself over the head, mentally, for ever telling his older brother that you liked him in the first place. Wishing you could crawl in a hole and wallow alone.
“Aww, that can wait. You’re here the whole week—”
“I know. But I gotta keep an eye on my old man, too.”
You rubbed at your face and pretended to get re-invested in a pair of socks with two gaping holes. Your father wouldn’t discard old, ratty clothes to save his life.
Then Tommy was at your side. Pressing against the washing machine and watching you work. Smirking.
“By ‘your old man’ do you mean your dad…or Joel?”
For the second time that day, you almost choked. You tried not to let it show but were sure you failed miserably.
“I— I— what?” you huffed, all terse, feigned incredulity.
“Don’t play stupid. Only suits my dumbass brother,” Tommy returned coolly, turning to face you head-on, “You sound just like him whenever I ask about you.”
“Whatever he’s said—” you started again.
“I heard his truck hightailing it out of here while you came down to distract me. Heard his footsteps, too.”
While your cheeks warmed, Tommy’s smile only grew.
“Aaaaand the headboard was bangin’ pretty loud—”
“Alright!” You threw your hands up, “Fine. OK. Enough.”
Your surrender was fast, far too grossed out to fight it.
You closed your eyes and wanted to die. From next to you, you could hear Tommy’s amusement morph into laughter. It didn’t take much to wring the truth out of you, and for a man who knew you as well as he did, there was really no telling where this would end. Once Tommy Miller called bullshit, there was rarely ever room to argue.
The last time that had happened, he’d sent you and Joel packing to abstinence camp and had never looked back.
Why he was finding humor in this now was beyond you.
You dropped the socks you were holding. You shot him a look as if to ask him just that, and the man shrugged.
“I know y’all skipped out on camp. Could’ve guessed there was some sort of fight between you two after that, because I’ve never seen Joel so goddamn grumpy for—”
“Yeah, well,” you cut in, not wanting to hear the rest, “That’s over now. Seriously. Today was just a fluke.”
Before he could even try to voice his disbelief, you added:
“Just don’t tell my dad about this. Please.”
By the look in his eyes, you could tell that was probably the furthest thing from his mind, but you asked it all the same. Tommy scoffed, and then he shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest like he couldn’t believe a word you were saying now. Like a smug big brother who didn’t know how else to say that you made a terrible liar.
Because that was what he’d been to you before you ever got with Joel in the first place: a good, no-bullshit friend. The recognition of this made you feel even worse inside.
“I’m sorry,” Tommy said at length, much to your surprise.
His arms constricted even tighter against his chest and his eyes scanned yours thoughtfully before continuing.
“I shouldn’t have stuck my nose in y’all’s business. What you and Joel do is up to you—I just hated the thought of things, uh…going south. Making it weird between you.”
“Like now,” you said quietly.
A beat.
Tommy scratched his neck.
“Yeah, a little like that,” he replied, breathing out a laugh, “But that’s alright. Joel’s my brother, and I love him, but the man can’t navigate a relationship to save his life. Much less with a girl your age. So just…keep that in mind. I don’t wanna see either of you getting hurt.”
In other words: don’t be stupid and get attached.
‘You’re right,’ was all you knew to say. All you felt capable of telling him now, after what had come to pass that day.
Frankly, you didn’t need to speak another word to get the gist of what he meant, and like he’d said, it wasn’t on him to dictate how you handled things with Joel. The message was clear enough, and the truth was all there.
You couldn’t make this work.
Joel wouldn’t make this work with a girl as young as you.
He’d only said what he said today out of habit—a knee-jerk reaction. He didn’t know what the fuck else to say when his best friend’s kid he’d been banging spilled out ‘I love you.’ And you didn’t blame him for it. But you also couldn’t expect him to be something he wasn’t when all this was ever supposed to be was a casual fuck here and there. You’d been confused and needing to feel safe. He had wanted access to something he shouldn’t have, and now that the thrill of that was wearing off, he felt trapped and cornered into saying what he had, for your sake. The best thing for the two of you now was a clean break, before any more feelings got muddled and misspoken and brought to anything worse than they already were.
It would suck for a while. You knew it would. The next second had you leaning in unconsciously, watching Tommy uncross his arms and pull you in for a hug.
This would really suck.
You buried your face in his chest.
There wasn’t much to say; still, Tommy said it best:
“Whatever happens, you’ll be fine. I know you will.”
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marvelwitchergilmore · 4 months ago
Text
Unexpected Surprises
Summary: Logan x Fe!Reader -> Finding out your pregnant is one thing, having Logan know before you is another.
Disclaimer: Mostly fluff, descriptions of giving birth, Logan's senses are at their full power. He's also read the books. One swear word here and there. Not Proof Read.
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If someone had told you, even yesterday, that you would be sitting inside your bathroom with Logan sitting against your sink counter, waiting for a pregnancy test to show you a result he already knew…
You wouldn’t have believed them. 
They could have been cursed to tell the truth their entire lives and you still wouldn’t have believed them. 
Because it was baffling to you. 
And it had all started because Logan - of all people - knew you were pregnant. 
It had all started several weeks ago when you had met the team under the school inside Jean Grey’s lab. The others had been talking when you had arrived and slid in to stand beside Logan. 
After a moment, he sniffed. 
“What is it?”
“Have you changed your shower gel?”
You looked at him with a bewildered look. “No, why?”
“You smell different.”
“I don’t know how comfortable I am knowing you can smell me.” You said, looking up at him. You knew it was a part of his mutation; heightened senses, but it still caught you off guard every now and then. 
Logan shrugged. “I can always smell you.”
From there, you both turned to find out why you’d been called down to the lab. 
Over the next couple of weeks, Logan noticed a change in you. 
You started napping. 
For the average person, taking a nap in the middle of the day wasn’t unheard of. But for you, someone who practically lived off four to five hours a night of sleep, constantly running around the place doing things, unable to sit still long enough to even think about taking a nap….
It was unheard of. 
First it had been in the living room on the sofa whilst the kids were either out or in their rooms before they’d get called for dinner. Then in the library, the hallway on the window seat bench, the kitchen. And Logan hadn’t been the only one to find you napping. 
But he was the only one to move you from where you were and into your bedroom. 
And each day your scent was getting stronger. 
For the life of him he couldn’t put his finger on it. He had asked Jean about it but since you hadn’t come to her, or hadn’t seemed unlike your normal self, she didn’t see anything to worry about. 
Maybe your body was just finally making you listen and telling you to rest. 
But as of a week ago, you had been throwing up every meal you had. But you didn’t feel sick. Save for the twenty minutes before and after throwing up. Most of the time you felt hungry and nauseous at the same time. 
Except, you’d kept the fact you kept puking to yourself. Until a morning meeting before classes were about to start. 
“Excuse me, just a second-”
You just about managed to get out of the door and down the hallway before throwing up the toilet lid and emptying your breakfast back into the water. 
Everyone looked around concerned and Jean was about to follow you when Logan caught her by the door. “Let me.”
Logan seemed to know something the others didn’t. 
“Is she okay?”
Logan nodded, looking around before finding Charles. “She’s fine,” he replied, turning back to Jean. 
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
Closing the door behind him, Logan found you in the staff bathroom, the door unlocked. 
Knocking on, he heard you take a breath before flushing the toilet and putting the lid back down. He slowly entered before closing the door behind him and looking at you as you sat on the lid of the toilet seat. 
“Here,” Logan grabbed a fresh flannel and ran it under the tap before handing it to you and crouching on the floor so he could see you. 
“Thanks.” You took the flannel from him and placed it over your face, wiping it down before folding it over and running it down the back of your neck. “Two weeks. Two weeks and I can’t keep a meal down, but I feel normal.”
“There might be an explanation for that.”
Then you felt yourself starting to cry. 
You never cried. 
At least, Logan had never seen you cry. 
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. One minute I’m flushed and wanting to throw up my internal organs, the next I was to sleep for a decade and eat nothing but sugar. Maybe I’m coming onto my period.”
“You’re not.”
You threw the flannel into the sink before looking at Logan. “What?”
“You’re not coming onto your period. You’re pregnant, Y/n.”
“Excuse me?”
Logan sighed. “I can…smell it. Your hormonal changes. And it would explain the tiredness, and the puking your guts up every five seconds. And the emotions.”
You just stared at Logan. “What?”
“If you don’t believe me, take a test. Maybe I’m wrong-”
“You are.” You told him. “I can’t be pregnant. When would I have had-”
Logan raised an eyebrow at you as if to say, “You really don’t remember?”
You looked up, away from him and towards the door, doing the maths in your head. 
“I can’t….no. No, I can’t be pregnant.”
“Look,” Logan began. “At least take a test. Just to be sure. I could be wrong…but I don’t think I am.”
The next day Logan drove you into the town and towards the local pharmacy. 
Sitting out in the car, you unbuckled your seat belt and looked at the door before turning to Logan. “Will you come in with me?”
And he did. Without question. 
Spending a few minutes searching for the tests, Logan found them and handed one over to you. “Can tell as early as…” He read the box. “Five weeks.”
You nodded before looking back at the shelf, grabbing a different box of a different brand, just to be safe. At the counter, the cashier rang up both boxes for you. Neither you or Logan missed the light smile on her face as she looked between the two of you. However, the cashier missed the slightly awkward shift from Logan as he realised what she was doing and he somehow moved both closer to you and away from you at the same time. 
“That’ll be seven, ninety five.”
You handed over a ten dollar bill and collected your change. Both yourself and Logan thanked her before shuffling away from the counter, Logan looking behind him as he opened up the door for you, finding the cashier smiling and waving you out. 
By the time you both got home, you found a note on the desk in the hallway from Xavier. They had taken the kids out on a school trip to the museum. They should be back by dinner. 
So that left you and Logan alone to stand inside your bathroom, avoiding looking at the two tests on the counter. 
“I still think it’s weird you can smell the change.” You said out loud, sat on the toilet seat, your hands interlocked with each other. “I mean…what does it even smell like?”
You unlocked your hands and pressed them between your knees, turning to look up at him as he leaned against your sink counter. 
Logan seemed a little out of it, his head somewhere else for a moment as his eyes remained fixed on the skirting board whilst he brushed a hand repeatedly across his face. 
“Huh?” He snapped out of it, brushing his face one last time before moving his hands so they were against the cold counter before crossing his feet and crossing his arms once more. “Oh, uh, I don’t know, It’s just different.”
“Like a bad different?” You asked. 
“Just…stronger, I guess. Why do you even want to know? I thought you found it weird?”
You nodded. “I do. But you can’t tell me you’ve got questions for things you find weird.”
Logan looked at you. “What? Like your ability to watch a serial killer documentary before you go to bed, yet you won’t watch horror movies?”
“I knew you found that weird!”
Logan nodded. “That’s because it is. Scott isn’t allowed near you in the month of October because you said he watches too many scary movies.”
“I can see it in his aura. Being near Scott in the month of October is like putting you next to a magnet and hoping you don’t get stuck to it. Horror movies scare me any time of year, it’s just stronger in October. And Scott watches too many.”
“Who knew the woman who used to work for the FBI, doesn’t like horror movies?”
“Technically, I worked in the labs. Not the field.”
“Still. FBI that’s afraid of a couple jumpscares on a set full of actors. Kind of ironic if you ask me.”
“Oh, please.” You replied, turned back to looking at the door. “You’re just as scared of them. Don’t think I didn’t spot the claw shaped holes in the pillow from last Halloween.”
From the corner of your eye, you saw Logan squirm. 
“How long is left on this thing anyway?”
You looked at your phone. “Twenty seconds.”
You both watched as the timer went off before looking at each other. “Ready?”
It took you a second, but you finally nodded and Logan stood back up straight. As did you before pulling the face down tests from the counter. 
Logan stood behind you, his hand absentmindedly coming to your hip as he looked over your shoulder. You closed your eyes before turning them round and took another second before finally opening them. 
It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. 
Two lines. 
Both tests. 
Two, vibrant, clear from space, lines. 
And despite him being the first to know, everything suddenly felt a lot more real for Logan. 
“Oh my god,” you breathed out before you felt yourself starting to cry again. “Oh my god.”
You looked at Logan through the mirror before turning around and his arms wrapped themselves around you as you stood on your tiptoes to bury your face into his neck. 
“What do you need? Tell me what you need.”
You set yourself back on your feet, your eyes locked on Logan’s chest. “Sleep? I think.”
Logan smiled a little and brushed the hair out of your face, kissing your forehead. “Okay.”
“Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you…” The question disappeared. “Stay with me.”
With his eyes fixed on yours, Logan nodded. 
Laying down beside you, his arms wrapped around you whilst your legs tangled with his. And for a moment, he was transported back almost nine weeks ago when you and him had finally crossed the one line you both swore you’d never cross with each other, in a motel room, just off the highway leading back into New York. 
Neither of you woke up until a few hours later where you found yourself lay on your side, Logan’s arm around your middle with his hand gently pressed to your belly, whilst he remained behind you, a little more on his front, his face half buried in his pillow. 
Having felt you move, Logan stirred awake for a moment to fully turn onto his side. But you just kept looking at him. 
Just like you had done almost ten weeks ago when you watched the sunlight that was beginning to peek through the curtains that never just quite shut all the way, dance across his bed-ridden hair and over the muscles in his back, ghosting over where the sheet was draped over his bottom half.
And just like then, you brushed a few of the stray hairs from his face, watching his too tired muscles unable to fight off the smile on his face whilst his hand came up and held yours against him for a moment before he kissed the centre of your palm. 
“What time is it?”
“A little after four…I think. I don’t think the others are back yet.”
“I think we’d know if they were.” Logan joked a little before gazing at you. “How are you feeling?”
“Better, I think. A little less sick.”
“Good.”
You nodded for a moment before looking back at Logan. “I think I want to do this.”
Logan gave you a questioning look for a moment. “Are you sure?”
You nodded. “I’m sure. If you don’t want to-”
“I want to.”
It wasn’t ever a second thought for Logan when he had come to terms with you being pregnant, as well as him being the first to know. He would have supported any decision you made, but he couldn’t help but feel a little more than happy when you confirmed his question. 
He had been in love with you ever since you had splattered midnight spaghetti sauce on your face from when you had slurped spaghetti. He had chuckled and wiped a spot from your chin with his thumb. 
Of course, he wasn’t blind.
He had always found you attractive since he first met you, but becoming your friend and falling in love with you two years later over a bowl of spaghetti as you graded papers…that was something he could have only ever dreamed of. 
That night, he thought about kissing you. But promised himself he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. You were both friends. 
And when you both almost kissed after having stepped into him whilst you were both outside looking for logs to put on the fire pit outside, he had a strong feeling you felt what he was feeling, too. 
But fear…stopped you both. 
And Rogue’s voice from shouting for you both since you’d both been gone ten minutes longer than you had planned. 
But that night in the motel room. 
Neither of you could deny it anymore. And there was no one around to interrupt. 
Maybe both of you wished it had happened a lot more smoothly. But neither of you could deny you weren’t not happy about what had happened. 
“You want to?” You rallied his words back to him, trying not to smile too much. 
Logan nodded. “I want to.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“One thing,” you said. “What do we tell the others?”
“You didn’t tell anyone what happened?”
You shook your head. “No. Work kinda got in the way.”
Which it did. A few hours after the motel, you had both gotten a call to get back to the school as quickly as you could. And work got too busy, neither you or Logan had time to talk about what happened and before you both knew it, it got too late to mention it again.
“Did you?”
Logan shook his head. “No.”
“This is gonna be a shock to their system.”
You nodded in agreement. “Maybe we don’t tell them so soon. At least wait until the twelve week scan.”
“Agreed. Accept-”
“Jean’s got to know.”
Logan nodded and clicked his teeth. 
“But we can trust her. Maybe we’ll just have to corner her in her lab before she and Scott have lunch together.”
Logan nodded. “Good idea. Does the lab even have a sonogram machine?”
You reeled back a little. “Logan…”
“What? I might have…read…a couple of books.”
You could help but smile. “You read books? On pregnancy?”
 Logan shrugged, once again trying to hide his smile. “Had to know if I was right about you being pregnant. And if I was, I wanted to know…what to expect. Just because I’m nearly 200 years old doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing.”
“And the entire world takes a sigh of relief. Even the oldest man in the world doesn't know what he’s doing. Maybe we don’t have to have it all figured out right now.”
Logan smiled, his hand pressing gently against the bottom of your back, pulling you closer to him. “Maybe we don’t.”
“But we’re gonna do this together?”
Logan gave you a nod and smiled. “We’re gonna do this together.”
By the time the others got back, Logan was on cooking duty since the smell of everything was sending you into waves of sickness once again, until Logan handed you a small bag of sweets with a couple of pretzels inside that helped curb your cravings and settled the sickness. 
And, just like you had said, you found Jean in her lab just a little after Scott had left and told her what she needed to know. 
Within moments she had you lay on the examination table and Logan wheeled a chair over to be by your side whilst she scanned your stomach to find your uterus. 
“Have to say, you two took your time.”
“Huh?”
Jean smiled. “Rogue was sure something had happened that night at the firepit when she went to find you two. When she finds out she’s gonna be thrilled something did finally happen.”
You and Logan looked at each other. “Other than Rogue…how many people think that…”
“You two would finally stop being idiots and do something about it?” Jean clicked a couple of buttons on the monitor. “Everyone.”
“Everyone?!”
Jean smiled. “Yep. And now they’re gonna be thrilled. Take a look.”
Jean explained what you were looking at. “See, here their head, and their feet. They look pretty comfortable there, tucked up nice and cosy.” 
Jean did a couple other things whilst you and Logan looked at the screen, Logan’s hand taking yours in his before he kissed your palm again. 
“Wow…she’s so small.”
You looked at Logan with a smile, and tears in your eyes. “What makes you so certain it's a girl?”
Logan shrugged. “I just do.”
Squeezing his hand, you smiled and looked back at the monitor. 
“I’d put you at about a little over nine weeks. We should be able to hear a heartbeat.”
You looked a little shocked, not expecting to hear a heartbeat so soon. But Jean found it and…you breathed. Or maybe you held it. You weren’t quite sure. 
“Stay still,” Jean laughed a little. 
“Sorry,” you apologised. 
Logan held onto your hand, tears forming in his own eyes. But for two reasons. One; finally being close to you, seeing your baby and hearing their heartbeat. And two; the small thumping Logan had heard every time he was around you, almost like an echo of your own – or maybe his – had been your baby. 
The baby you were having together. 
He had been hearing their heartbeat for almost a week. 
“Logan…that’s our baby.”
There was no stopping his smile. “That’s our baby.”
With his other hand at the back of your head, his thumb making familiar strokes back and forth, he kissed you and you squeezed his hand a little tighter, never wanting to let go. 
“I’ll set this recording for you and print off a couple of pictures. Congratulations guys. You’ve got a very healthy baby.”
Jean did as she said she would and by the time you were clean of the gel and sat back up with Logan standing by your side, Jean gave you a couple of information booklets. 
“I think Logan’s already got most of it covered,” you said with a smile, catching his slightly sheepish look. “But thank you.”
Jean hugged both of you. “Congrats guys, and don’t worry. They won’t hear anything from me.”
You smiled. “Thank you.”
By the time you both got back to your room, you had one picture, as did Logan however the third one, Logan kept looking at. 
Without saying anything, you both came to an agreement and it wasn’t long before you found who you were looking for. 
Closing the library door, you checked all the spaces before confirming both yourself, Logan and Rogue were alone. 
“What’s going on?”
Coming to a stand, Rogue stood in front of Logan and you rounded the table to stand beside him. 
He held out the picture. “We wanted to give you this. Figured you should be the first to know…apart from Jean.”
Rogue took the photo in her hands from Logan, it taking a minute before it all finally clicked in her head and confirmed what she was looking at. 
Baby Y/L/N HOWLETT printed in bold white ink in the corner. 
Rogue burst into a smile and let out a small laugh before hugging both of you quickly. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!”
“But you can’t tell anyone.” Logan told her. “At least not yet.”
Rogue shook her head. “I-I won’t. I promise. Oh my god!”
She hugged you both again before stepping back. 
“I knew something was going on between you two! Congrats, guys! Oh, my god! This is just…incredible. Insane.” Then she calmed down for a moment. “Thank you for telling me.”
Logan shrugged. “Figured the kid’s Aunt would want to know first.”
Rogue smiled even brighter and then looked down at the picture lovingly. “When do you find out the gender?”
“In a couple of weeks,” you smiled, holding onto Logan’s hand and arm. “But he thinks it’s a girl.”
“You do?” Rogue asked, with a smile still prominent on her face. “You two are gonna make the best parents.”
“Thank you.”
“Thanks, Kid.”
And she was right. 
As was Logan when, only a few weeks later, Jean confirmed that you both were in fact going to be the proud parents of a baby girl. 
And by the time it came round to you giving birth, you may have bruised Logan’s hand as well as scared Scott into never watching a horror movie where a woman gives birth, ever again. 
Bobby had been the first to find you when you went into labour. You were hunched over the counter in the kitchen, holding onto your belly. 
“Y/n, are you okay?”
You managed to shake your head. “No.”
Then your waters broke. 
“Oh, uh, okay. Okay. Rogue!”
Practically sliding around the door, Rogue saw what was happening. “Oh, crap. Okay. Bobby, go and find Logan.”
“Do you know where he is?” 
“He’s…” you grunted through the pain. Jean had warned you that having a baby with one mutant parent might speed things along, but two? 
As you had gathered from Jean’s easy let down…
You were fucked. 
“Ugh.” You grunted. “He’s…he’s out in the gardens…they had trouble…ahh…they had trouble moving…”
“Just breathe.” Rogue assured you. “Bobby, go.”
And he did. 
“Okay, we’re gonna get you downstairs. I’ll call Jean.”
Twenty minutes later, Jean was back from her store run and rushed inside the school only to nearly collide into Logan. 
“Where is she? I can’t find her.”
“Rogue helped her down to the lab.”
When Jean and Logan finally ran inside, they found you bracing yourself on the bed as Rogue rubbed up and down your back and you felt the pain kick up a notch. 
“They’re here! They’re here. Logan.”
Logan was already on it, replacing Rogue’s hand with his own in yours. “Where the hell were you?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“How’s your pain?” Jean asked, walking back inside in her scrubs. 
“Ever been kicked by a horse in your pelvis?”
Another contraction started up and as you held onto Logan’s hand, you braced yourself on his other arm. 
Jean gave a hidden laugh from your comment and started setting everything up. 
“Just tell me when the pain stops and we can get you moved onto the bed.”
It took a moment but eventually it slowed and, with Logan’s help, you got into the hospital bed and Jean checked you over. 
It was a few more hours before you were ready to push. 
“No, I can’t. It hurts.”
“Just a few more pushes. Come on, you can do it.”
Logan held onto your hand whilst his other arm supported you around your shoulders and back. “You can do it. Just a couple more and it’ll be over.”
You groaned. “Why can’t we be seahorses? The males have to push and they’re only pregnant for ten days.”
Logan could help but laugh a little. “We can always get Chuck to come down and narrate this. He’s no David Attenbourogh but he is English.”
“Oh, shut up.” You laughed a little. “Don’t make me laugh. I’m in enough pain as it is.”
Another contraction started up and you began to push again. 
“That’s it! Good…just a little longer.”
Fifteen minutes later the room was filled with the cries of a newborn baby girl and you felt yourself cry a sigh of relief, joy and worry. 
“You did it, honey.” Logan kissed your temple. “You did it.”
“Where is she? Is she okay?”
Jean smiled and nodded. “She’s perfect. Dad? Want to do the honours?”
Logan kissed you and walked over towards Jean, his hands trailing away from yours before reaching for the scissors Jean handed him. 
Cutting the cord, Jean hurried to weigh and measure your daughter as quickly as she could before handing her over to you for skin to skin contact. 
“Oh my god, she’s beautiful.”
Logan was crying tears of happiness. “She looks just like her Momma.”
“Congrats, you guys.”
“Thank you.” 
You couldn’t take your eyes off of her. She was…everything. 
Logan sat beside you on the bed, his arm above your head and the other around both of you. He saw you in her, but you saw him. 
“You guys picked a name yet?” Jean asked, standing on the other side of the bed, the camera by her side from where she’s taken a couple of photos already. 
Both yourself and Logan had been quiet about the names you had picked. 
“We haven’t decided yet.” Logan told her, his eyes never leaving his daughter. 
“But whatever it is, Marie is going to be her middle name.”
Jean smiled and took yet another picture. Everyone had been waiting years for this moment, for you and Logan to finally get together, for you both finally to realise you were both always meant to be, even before either of you knew it.
They were going to want pictures to keep forever of this moment. 
As were you two. 
And the ones Jean took were just the first of many to be taken, from everyone holding her beside you and Logan, to the big family photo with her in Logan’s arms, to the one you would always keep by your bedside of Logan holding his daughter for the first time. To birthday’s, Christmases, Easter, family dinners, first steps, first words. 
The others that made a small collection in your memory box for her, where she’s learning to walk, holding onto Logan’s fingers, climbing up her dad and going over his shoulder, finding easter eggs with Logan and Rogue, sitting in Xavier’s lap at his desk, learning to bake for the first time – a picture you didn’t know existed until you found it in the small box Logan had been keeping. He had taken the picture of you and her when you weren’t looking and had multiple copies. 
There was a picture of every moment and every memory that both of you would always treasure forever. 
And even when the sleepless nights felt endless, neither of you wanted to change it for the world.
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girlgenius1111 · 5 months ago
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casts, broken arms, & snuggles
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alexia putellas x reader - part of the mila verse :)
an accident at the park pulls alexia from training and to the hospital, where she finds both her girls not doing their best. everyone is very overwhelmed with their feelings, and maybe don't handle it the way they should. basically, protective panicked alexia and insecure reader. a bit of angst / injuries / concussions symptoms, mostly fluff.
------
You knew Alexia would panic. There wasn’t much you could do about that. Especially not when the only way you had to reach her was through the staff. It was somewhat of a bad omen within the team, having a staff member walk outside with a phone call for you. It only happened in an emergency, and unfortunately, this definitely counted as an emergency. When one of the assistant coaches, Xavi, answered the phone, he seemed to be on the same page as you. 
“Try to act calm, otherwise she’ll just freak out.” 
“I am not sure there is much I can do to avoid her having a nervous breakdown.” Xavi stated. You heard him call Alexia over, and tried to shush the very upset almost 3 year old in your arms. 
“Amor, what is wrong?”Alexia asked, practically tearing the phone out of Xavi’s hand as soon as she heard who was calling. 
“Everything is fine, okay? There was just a little accident.” You began, speaking in a soothing, calming tone, the same one you’d been using on the baby. 
“What kind of accident?” 
“Meels fell at the park-” 
“¡AY DIOS MIO!” Alexia shouted. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. 
“Ale, breathe. She fell off the slide and I think her arm might be broken. She won’t let me touch it and she hasn’t stopped crying.”
“Broken?!” Alexia squeaked. 
“Ow.” Mila whimpered, frowning unhappily at her arm from where she sat in your lap. “Hurts, Mama.” 
“I know, baby.” You told her. “Ale, the ambulance is here to take us to the hospital do you-” 
“What were you doing? Were you not watching her? Why weren't you watching her, why did she fall?” Alexia snapped. 
You bit back the retort you had ready, knowing this was just a result of her fear for Mila. You weren’t happy with what she’d said, but that could be dealt with later. “We’re leaving now for the hospital. Meet us there.” You said coldly, before hanging up the phone without saying anything else. Alright, you were pretty upset, and you let it show. You had already been beating yourself up for what had happened, thinking the things that Alexia had said. 
As you and Mila got loaded into the ambulance, you realized you hadn’t mentioned something important to your wife. No doubt, she was hauling ass to the hospital, so she’d find out soon enough.
-------
Alexia burst into the room in a flutter of chaos, throwing the curtain aside and looking around frantically. Mila was sitting in your lap, holding her arm awkwardly away from her body, while you ran your fingers through her wavy brown hair and tried to keep her calm. Both of you looked at Alexia when she walked in, her panic clear on her face. She was sweaty, still in her training kit, and her eyes were only on her daughter.
“Mila, mi bebé,” she said gently, moving closer to the bed. 
“Mami!” Mila cried, a pout on her small face, holding her arm out for Alexia to see. She squirmed in your lap, trying to get closer to your wife, but you both made sure she stayed carefully where she was. 
“Pobrecita,” Alexia murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed and pressing repeated kisses to her baby’s head. She stared hard at Mila’s already swollen arm, trying to stifle her own tears. You weren’t pleased with Alexia, but you weren’t particularly upset that she hadn’t even glanced at you, her attention fully on Mila. “What happened?” 
Mila’s voice wobbled as she began to talk, reaching out with her good hand to grip onto a few of Alexia’s fingers.. “Fell! Off the slide. Mama tried to catch me, but now she has an ouchie too.” 
Alexia’s eyes flew to you, seeing for the first time the towel and large ice pack pressed to the back of your head. Her heart sank. She knew before that she would have to apologize for what she had said, and now she knew she’d have to do even more groveling. Especially if the hurt look on your face was any indication. 
“Amor,” she sighed, reaching for your hand. You pulled it away, refusing to make eye contact with her. 
“I’m fine.” You dismissed. “Mila’s got a basic fracture, just a month or so in a cast to fix it. They’ll be in to put it on soon.” 
“Mama needs stitches.” Mila whispered conspiratorially to her Mami. 
Alexia’s face grew, somehow, even more upset. “What happened, mi amor?” 
Still avoiding her eyes, you spoke quietly. “I was going to catch her at the bottom of the slide, but she stood up at the top and fell off the side.” 
“And your head?” Alexia asked, leaning closer to try and inspect your injury. Mila looked up at you with concern, her expression matching her Mami’s almost exactly. Where Alexia’s fingers were gentle as they cradled your head, Mila’s were clumsy and clunky as she tried to run her fingers through your hair. It was something you did to make her feel better, and she thought that maybe it would make your frown go away, too. 
“I tried to catch her in time, but I slipped and hit my head on the edge of the slide. And I didn’t really catch her.” You admitted, slightly embarrassed at that fact. Alexia would have caught Mila, you were sure. 
“It’s okay, Mama, you tried your best!” Mila said encouragingly, parroting back something you and Alexia must have told her a hundred times. Her arm temporarily forgotten, Mila shifted so she could lean up and press a kiss to your cheek, before she snuggled closer to your chest. 
Your wife’s eyes were stuck on your daughter, practically turning into hearts as she took in how sweet and caring her baby was. You couldn’t blame her; you felt the same. That you had created such a perfect little person would never cease to amaze you. 
“Thank you, my baby.” You mumbled, wincing slightly as you shifted, trying to keep Mila’s arm in a safe position. Every movement of your upper body sent waves of pain through your head, but you didn’t want Mila to know how upset you were. 
“Mi amor, I-”
Whatever Alexia was about to say was cut off completely as the doctor entered the room, introducing herself to your wife, and beginning to talk Mila through the process of getting the cast put on. There were some tears, wiped away quickly by her Mami, as they began to wrap up her arm. 
Once the nurses had taken over, and began adding the colored plaster to the cast, and Mila was suitably distracted, the doctor regarded you. 
“Alright, let’s get that head wound taken care of.” She said kindly, motioning you over to a chair in the corner of the room. She stood by your head, beginning to clean the wound and prepare to stitch it up.
You shut your eyes tightly, trying to keep your wincing to a minimum. Alexia watched on worriedly from her spot next to Mila, knowing how much you hated needles. The midfielder so wanted to comfort you through this, but she also didn’t want to leave Mila alone if she was still upset. So, she did what you’d spent many years helping her do, and communicated. 
“Milabear? Can I go hold your Mama’s hand while she gets her stitches?” She whispered, heart melting at how Mila looked over at you, and nodded enthusiastically. 
“Go help Mama.” She said bravely, feeling much better now that she had her red cast on her arm, and that the nurse had given her some goldfish. Mila munched away happily, her eyes trained on the TV hanging on the wall, and Alexia had never been more grateful for having such an independent and resilient child than she was in that moment. 
Your eyes were still shut, a few tears escaping as you tried very hard to act like the adult you were. You startled a bit when Alexia crouched in front of you and took your hand. Opening your eyes, you tried to breathe deeply, feeling the doctor begin to thread the needle through the skin of your scalp. A small, rather pathetic whimper fell from your lips, and Alexia brought your hand to her lips, pressing kisses to the back of it. Her adoring gaze only made more tears fall, and you felt completely ridiculous. 
“You are okay, amor. It will be over soon.” 
Every tear that fell was gently swiped away by your wife. The doctor worked as carefully as she could, but there were still tugs on your skin that had shivers running down your spine, and your stomach churning. There was only so much Alexia could do to help, but luckily, it wasn’t a very large wound, and the doctor was done within a few minutes, cutting the excess thread and reaching for a white bandage. She wrapped that around your head, holding a piece of gauze in place, which really felt like overkill. 
“Okay, done.” The doctor announced, removing her gloves and stepping away from your chair. Alexia’s earlier words forgotten, you stood shakily to your feet, allowing yourself to fall into your wife’s open arms. 
“You did so good.” She whispered, smiling despite herself at the bandage wrapped around your head. You looked adorable, frowning up at her with tears in your eyes, looking somewhat like a disgruntled mummy. 
“Mama?” Mila called from her spot on the bed. 
You wiped at your eyes quickly, plastering a smile on your face as you walked over to your daughter. “Hi Meels.” 
“All better, Mama?” She asked, reaching both of her arms out for you to pick her up, which you did easily.
“All better.” You confirmed, holding her as close as you could. 
“Almost all better.” The doctor smiled, turning to your wife. “She has a mild concussion with the impact on the ground, so she’s going to need to take it easy for a few days. I am assuming you know concussion protocol, Ms. Putellas?” 
“Yes, yes of course.” Alexia said, her eyes squinting with concern as she studied you. “I will take good care of her.” 
“Me too!” Mila added, squirming in your hold until she could loop her arms around Alexia’s neck and shift over into her arms. 
Your wife very hesitantly pulled you into her as the doctor left the room. You tilted your head to make eye contact with her, still with a small frown on your face. It was clear that you were still upset with your wife, but the determination in her eyes told you she’d do anything to fix it. 
------
Apparently, anything consisted of making you sit on the couch next to Mila, holding an ice pack to your head, and not daring to move. Your wife went from room to room, collecting anything she had determined you or Mila might need. It was endearing, but also somewhat frustrating when she’d appear to hand you something, and go flitting off before you could just ask her for what you really wanted: for her to sit on the couch with the two of you, and relax. 
Stressed Alexia made you stressed, but you knew this was just how she was coping with what had happened today. Alexia always held a lot of guilt for the little moments she missed while at work; any milestone that Mila achieved while Alexia wasn’t around was downright painful for your wife. She was a protective person, and you knew she was even more bothered because both you and Mila were hurt, and she hadn’t been there to help either of you. 
You and Mila sat side by side, heads moving back and forth like you were watching a tennis match. In fact, you were just watching Alexia disappear and reappear with Mila’s favorite toy, a blanket, your favorite sweatshirt, a snack, some water, more ice, more painkillers and 6 different pillows for Mila to rest her cast on. You were exhausted just watching her. 
She appeared back in the living room like a ghost the minute you stood up, her hands grabbing onto your shoulders and gently pushing you back down onto the couch. 
“Ale, just let me-”
“No! Sit.” Alexia insisted, ignoring the small giggle from her daughter. 
You rolled your eyes, shrugging out from under her grip and standing anyway. “Alexia, I have to go to the bathroom. You can’t do that for me.” 
Alexia had the decency to blush, at least. “Okay. I’ll walk you there.” She decided, grabbing your hand and beginning to escort you to the bathroom. Honestly. 
Always her mother’s shadow, Mila got up too, and grabbed your other hand. “Mami I can-”
“No. Sit!” Alexia repeated, though with a small smile as she regarded her daughter. “Mila, you stay there. I can take care of everything.” 
“But Mami-”
“No! I can help Mama, you need to rest.” Your wife said, ignoring the amused look you were giving her, too focused on the attitude suddenly radiating off your daughter. 
“Mami. I have to go potty too.” Mila said exasperatedly. Ale blushed further, nodding as she allowed Mila to accompany you both towards the bathroom. You turned your snort of laughter into a fake cough, knowing that Alexia could be sensitive to being teased about her over protectiveness. And, well… it seemed Mila was holding her own in showing her Mami how ridiculous she was being. 
Once you’d arrived at the bathroom door, which took significantly longer than was necessary due to your wife and her mini-me insisting on walking slowly so as to not aggravate your head wound. You indulged them, only putting your foot down when both of them began to follow you into the bathroom. 
“No. Enough. I can do this myself.” You sighed, looking between both Alexia and Mila’s skeptical expressions. 
“But what if-”
“Mama, I can-”
You interrupted both of them by shutting the door and letting out a deep sigh. If you didn’t have a scar across your abdomen that told you that you’d birthed Mila, you’d be sure she was Alexia’s genetic clone. 
------
The rest of the night consisted of overwhelming amounts of hovering, from your wife and daughter both. Alexia took turns fussing over you, and fussing over Mila, until you were sure you were going to make her sleep on the couch or something, before she suggested waking you up every 20 minutes and performing a cognitive test. 
Alexia had just barely put Mila down in her toddler bed when she heard you call for her. There was urgency in your voice, but it was still obvious that you were trying to keep your voice down for Mila’s benefit. It had been hard enough to get the toddler to sleep; she had become suddenly very tearful once it was time for bed, because her favorite pajama shirt didn’t fit over her cast. It had taken one of Alexia’s t-shirts, around 45 minutes of cuddles, and 4 different stories, for her to finally settle. 
“Alexia,” you whisper yelled, shutting your eyes as the dizziness got worse. You heard Alexia rush down the hall towards you and willed yourself to hold on just a moment longer. 
Alexia ran into the room, seeing you with your head in your hands, sitting up in the bed. “What is it, amor?” 
“I’m gonna be sick,” you managed, pressing a hand to your mouth as Alexia sprung into action. 
“Okay, okay, just hold on one second.” 
Just in time, Alexia thrust the bedroom trash can in front of you. You were sick, retching into the trash can uncomfortably. Your wife pulled your hair back, being careful to not jostle the skin around your stitches, tying it into a very loose bun. She rubbed your back soothingly, pressing kisses into the side of your head until you were done. 
“Oh, amor, I am so sorry.” She murmured, taking the trash can from you once you were done. She was going to take it out of the room, but then she noticed the tears in your eyes, and decided that could wait until later. 
You curled into her when she sat by your legs and pulled you into her arms. Within a second, you were sobbing brokenly into her shirt, incapable of resisting how comforted you felt when she held you. 
Alexia whispered soft reassurances into your hair, beginning to think you were upset about more than just feeling so unwell. “Amor, is it your head? Or something else?” 
You shook your head weakly into her chest, sucking in a few breaths before you tried to respond. “Meels broke her arm and it’s all my fault.” You said miserably. 
“No no no, do not say that. It was not your fault, you did the best you could.” Alexia rushed to make you feel better, but that’s all it felt like; something she was saying just to make you feel better.
“You would have caught her.” 
Alexia’s chest squeezed uncomfortably, knowing that she was partially at fault for how guilty you felt right now. Even if what she’d said had been in the heat of the moment, and it was just a reflection of how upset she was, of course you’d taken it to heart. 
“It was an accident, mi amor. It is no one’s fault. Sometimes kids fall, sometimes they get hurt. It happens.”
“But Ale, it wouldn’t have happened if you had been with her. You’re just… so much better at this than I am.” You mumbled, refusing to untuck your face from Alexia’s shirt, even as she tried to get you to. 
“That is so not true.” Alexia insisted. “You cracked your head open trying to make sure Mila didn’t get hurt. That is not something a bad mother does.” 
You ignored her logic, wiping a tear away with that back of your hand. “You were right earlier. I should have been watching closer.”
Alexia shook her head again. “No. I was-“
“You blamed me then, what’s changed?” You snapped, not quite sure where all of these negative emotions were coming from, or why your mood was changing at the drop of a hat. Sad and guilty one second, angry the next. It wasn’t fair to Alexia, who was just trying to make you feel better, but there wasn’t any room for rationality in your jumbled head. 
Luckily, your wife didn’t seem to take your words or your tone personally. Instead, she tucked a piece of hair back behind your ear and softly kissed your forehead, showing more patience than you were sure you deserved.
“I don’t blame you. I was terrified earlier, but that is no excuse. This was not your fault and I’m sorry I made you feel like it was. So sorry, amor.” Her voice was sweet and you could feel how sincere she was, just from the way her hand gently cradled your cheek. 
Nodding shakily, you took a deep breath, suddenly feeling more than a little exhausted. “I’m sorry, Ale, I just-”
Alexia cut you off, though, placing her index finger over your lips. She looked stern again, like she had before when she was making sure you stayed on the couch and didn’t move. “It’s okay. No apologies. You are overwhelmed and hurt and exhausted. You need rest, we can talk about this more tomorrow if we need to.” 
You nodded your agreement, shifting uncomfortably as you glared down at your pillows. Your head absolutely throbbed, and you hadn’t even tried to rest it on the pillow yet. 
“I don’t know how I’m gonna sleep.” You mumbled, brow furrowing in confusion when Alexia smiled cheekily at you.
“I do!” She said enthusiastically, quickly tucking herself under the covers and pulling you to lay on her chest. Your head was completely safe from any contact with anything, and you found so much peace in the steady thump of Alexia’s heartbeat in your ear. 
She was a miracle worker, Alexia. Just when you thought you were going to explode with the amount of thoughts swirling around in your head, she quieted your brain with a few words and a few kisses. 
Unfortunately, as comfortable as you were, sleep did not seem to be in the cards for either of you. At least, not yet. No sooner than your eyes had fallen shut, and Alexia had settled comfortably into the pillows did you both hear the creak of Mila’s door opening. 
You exchanged a glance with your wife, keeping completely silent, knowing that sometimes Mila would come check on you both during the night, before heading back to her room. You heard her little steps padding down the hall, a small gasp, and then a loud thump. 
Alexia was out of bed before Mila could even cry out. “Stay there!” She threw over her shoulder, causing you to sit back down on the bed with a grumble. You were glad Alexia hadn’t turned the light off earlier, as she sprinted carelessly out of the room towards your daughter. 
“Mama!” Mila sobbed, her little voice breaking your heart. She wanted you, and it took everything in you to not go to her in that moment, knowing that Alexia would bring her to you. 
“It’s okay, cariño, I’m here.” Alexia soothed, Mila’s cries becoming muffled by her Mami’s shirt. 
Still, you could make out her next words very clearly. “I want Mama,” Mila demanded. 
Alexia just shushed her, a few seconds passing before they both appeared in the doorway. Mila’s face was red and stained with tears, her cast cradled to her chest. She reached for you as soon as she saw you, and Alexia wasted no time in bringing her over. 
“Careful, Milabear,” she reminded softly, handing the toddler over to you. Mila curled up against your chest, and you rubbed her back soothingly, exchanging a worried glance with your wife. 
Mila was a rough and tumble kid; she fell often, and really only cried if she was actually hurt. Sometimes, not even then. She was like her Mami in that way, so her inconsolable tears now terrified you. 
“I think she tripped over my shirt.” Alexia murmured, running her hands through her daughter’s hair. Dressed in one of Alexia’s old warm up shirts, Mila surely had tripped over the hem of it. You could see this information really sinking into your wife’s head, as she began to gnaw on her bottom lip, worry and guilt clouding her face.  
“Baby, did you trip?” You asked, easing Mila away from your body so you could get a good look at her face. She nodded, looking between you and your wife, her bottom lip jutting out adorably. 
“Woke up and my arm hurt, and I wanted to sleep in here but I couldn’t see and I fell.” Mila said. “Mama’s shirt is too big.” She continued forlornly, as if just now realizing this piece of information. 
Alexia looked truly distressed, opening her mouth to apologize for allowing Mila to sleep in her shirt, even though you knew the toddler had cried and cried until Alexia had finally given in to what she wanted, if only so she could sleep. You spoke before Alexia could, though, pushing a lock of hair out of your baby’s face. 
“Did you bump your arm when you fell?” You asked. Mila nodded, sniffling sadly. “Does it hurt a lot more or just a little bit more?” 
“A lot at first. Just a little bit now.” Mila said bravely, peeking at her Mami out of the corner of her eye. She loved to act tough, your little girl, but she was only three, and broken bones hurt. 
Alexia still hovered on your side of the bed, looking like she wanted to cry. 
“Alright, Mami will go get you some ice, and you can sleep in here with us tonight. Deal?” 
Mila nodded, flopping forward again to rest on your chest. The fact that her mood didn’t even really lift when you told her she could sleep with the two of you told you that she was really hurting. 
Without a word, only a soft kiss placed on Mila’s forehead, Alexia headed for the freezer. She walked calmly out of the room, but both you and Mila heard the unmistakable sound of her running her way to the kitchen, and running back. 
“Mami’s running.” Mila said, a small smile adorning her face. You laughed quietly, doing your best to keep your smile in check as Alexia slowed to a walk just before walking through the bedroom door, acting as though she’d walked the whole way. 
The blonde had returned with the biggest ice pack you had, the one that she’d used on her knee. She wrapped it meticulously around Mila’s arm, handed her a small sippy cup [of what looked suspiciously like juice, even though Mila was only supposed to have water this late at night], and some children’s pain medicine. 
It was only when Alexia slipped back into bed that she spoke, addressing her daughter with a deep sadness in her voice. “I’m sorry about your shirt, cariño, I shouldn’t have let you wear it.” 
Mila gave her a strange look, scooting out of your lap to lay directly on top of your wife. Her little fingers grabbed onto her Mami’s shirt, even the one’s restrained by her cast twisting into the fabric. “It’s okay, Mami. Was an accident.” 
You smiled at your girls, watching Alexia’s face melt from guilt into adoration as she leaned down to kiss all over Mila’s face. Your daughter giggled, and your heart soared at the sound, more than happy that she had stopped crying and cheered up. 
Mila settled back down against her Mami, reaching one hand out to latch onto your shirt and attempt to pull you closer. “Mama, closer.” She complained, huffing when you didn’t budge. 
Alexia frowned, worried you would put yourself into an uncomfortable position with your head in order to make Mila happy, but luckily, your daughter seemed to have the same thought. 
“Not on your back Mama! You gotta lay on your front. Here, lay on Mami.” Mila offered, whacking Alexia in the face with her cast as she struggled to move over. You snorted at the disgruntled look on your wife’s face, ignoring the fake glare she sent back your way.
It took some maneuvering from everyone involved before Mila was curled up against one side of Alexia’s chest, and you were resting with your cheek pressed into on the other side. Only once you and Mila were both comfy did Alexia kiss Mila on the forehead, and you chastly on the lips. 
And it was only when Mila had drifted off, soft puffs of air leaving her as she gripped onto both you and your wife, that you relaxed. Alexia gave you a knowing smile, well aware that your daughter's insistence that you hold her when she’d gotten hurt, and that you be included in the bedtime snuggles, had put to rest your worries that you’d failed her today. 
It all evened out, in parenthood. You couldn’t forget that. Tomorrow, when Alexia would turn away for a split second too long during breakfast and Mila would end up with syrup in her hair, you’d be even more sure of that. Mistakes didn’t change how much you or Alexia loved Mila, or how much she loved both of you. 
Mila didn’t keep score. She just loved you both, and that was that. 
-----
this has been in my drafts for genuienly several months so i apologize if it doesn't feel very cohesive. hope you enjoy anyway 🙂🫶🏻 thanks for reading 🫡🥰
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prettyg1irlstears · 9 months ago
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i js saw ur pillow princess reader x rafe blurb n its amazing !!
but how would rafe x gf!reader be when rafes friends have been bringing up about how it feels good when ‘the girl takes charge’ but she gets upset n self conscious cs she literally cant, shes js a pillow princess at heart !! she wld constantly ask rafe if shes good enough in bed, if its fine she cant ride him like his friends have been showing off :(((
first of all thank you!!<33 second of all i’m so sorry if i’m answering late, but i hope you’ll like it<3
softbf!rafe x sub!reader
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you’re in the large living room of tannyhill, a pretty sundress on while sitting of your boyfriend’s lap, listening to the conversation between him and his mates.
you were telling rafe that you’ll come tomorrow, that it’s fine if he wants to have a ‘all bro evening’, but rafe insisted on you staying, so you did, because you’re his good girl.
so here you are, playing with rafe’s fingers as the boys don’t bother to acknowledge or respect your presence and talk about their girls.
“bro, my girl’s wildin’ when she takes charge,” kelce boasted, smirking as he took a swing of his beer. “doin’ all the work, feels so good.”
your chest tugs anxiously, slightly squeezing rafe’s fingers as you listen.
“yea i feel ya, man,” topper adds, grinning as he high-fives kelce. “wish you could see the way sarah moves on me ‘cause like goddamn..”
you feel yourself getting uncomfortable, partly because they’re talking about their girlfriends like they were a piece of meat, but mostly because you know you’ll forever be a pillow princess.
“yo, top,” rafe feels jow uncomfortable you are, stroking your silky hair lovingly, thinking it’s just because the conversation’s too much for you. “it’s my sister, man, don’t be gross,”
“sorry bro, not my fault she’s freaky,” topper sneers, kelce chuckling along with him.
you withdrawn a little bit, nuzzling into rafe’s chest as your mind runs a marathon. you were never able to take charge, especially in bed. you and rafe tried it a few times, but you always get all shy and embarrassed, just simply not finding it in yourself to be dominant. but now, after you heard the boys’ conversation, you feel even worse than ever.
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“you okay, baby?” rafe asks you softly. the boys have already left, you’re now helping rafe clean the beer cans and pizza boxes. he has noticed something’s off — he always does.
“mm good ray, just tired.” you fake a yawn and give him a small smile.
that seems to make rafe calmer, maybe he just doesn’t want to press you. he comes over to you, placing his hands on your waist. “can we still do sum’ or are you like really tired?”
you chuckle and look up at him. “no we can still do something.” because even though you still feel bad, you can still feel a little wet spot making itself in your panties just from that one simple sentence.
rafe smiles and kisses you, his hands moving from your waist to squeeze your butt. “alright let’s get to bed, hm?”
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you thought it would make your mind go elsewhere, like always, but even when you’re a moaning mess under the muscular body of your boyfriend, you’re still thinking about it.
“what’s the matter, bunny?” rafe grunts into your neck as he kisses it, giving you long and deep thrusts.
“n-no, no!” you let out in a whimper, squeezing his shoulders. “please don’t stop.”
rafe smirks, slowing his pace even more as he bites on a soft spot of your neck. “then what is it?”
you whimper at that, but you can’t keep your worries inside anymore. “am i good enough for you?” as soon as these words leave your mouth, rafe stops, stilling inside of you, making you let out a small whimper of disapproval.
“baby.. baby look at me, will ya?” he gently takes your chin in his hand, making you look up into his eyes.
you look, his hand caressing your cheek as you look up at him with those puppy eyes of yours.
“why would you ask that?” he asks, his voice soft as he has no idea where this is coming from. “of course you are, you always were and always will, baby.”
“because i can’t ride you.. can’t make you feel good..” you say quietly, tears welling up in your eyes. “mm sorry rafe, i just can’t..”
“hey, hey, look at me, baby..” he makes you look at him again, his hands running through your hair and caressing your cheek. “that’s perfectly fine, bunny. you’re perfect, i swear to god,”
you’re looking into his eyes, nervously playing with his curtain bangs. “are you sure? ‘cause i felt really bad earlier..”
rafe chuckles a little, kissing your forehead. “baby, don’t listen to those two pricks. can’t appreciate their girls like i can apprexiate mine.”
he kisses your lips softly, slowly starting to move inside you again. “i love you being my little pillow princess.” he grunts at the movements, earning a tiny moan from you. “wouldn’t change for anything, baby.”
“you mean it..?” you ask, leaving out tiny whimpers as he moves slowly yet deeply, wrapping your legs around his waist.
“absolutely,” he whispers, kissing your lips while leaving out small moans. “don’t have any idea what you do to me like this.”
“alright..” you feel a shy smile growing on your lips, tugging on his hair as his tip hits that one spot inside you. “r-rafe.. please.. faster..”
“faster, yeah?” rafe smirks, increasing his pace, holding the side of your neck, earning sweet little moans from you that make his cock twitch inside of you.
“don’t need ya to take charge, baby..” he lets out a pretty moan into your ear. “js’ fucking you like this is enough for me to go absolutely crazy.”
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mysicklove · 1 year ago
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𝐒𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐗!
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DAY 11: COCK WARMING + NIPPLE PLAY
With: Suguru Geto
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: sub! geto, afab!/fem! reader (reader gets called "ma'am" once) , geto's nipples are abused :/, bottom reader, creampie, reader is a bit of a pervert, nipple piercings mention, begging and crying (like usual)
A/N: and you guys thought i would NEVER post for kinktober (nobody said this I just think u r thinking it). here I am. this one was strange to write tho idk. kinda wasn't feeling it :/ but maybe u guys will
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You feel a kiss pressed into the back of your neck, and then two, and suddenly, you can feel your lover trying to plant a hickey on your skin. You pull away quickly, and the man behind you groans in annoyance. “Nice try. Relax, Suguru, you are being so needy,” You complain, readjusting yourself on his lap. Geto makes a low noise, similar to a whimper, and you can’t help but grin at the meek sound.
He recomposes himself, taking in a deep breath and letting out a low laugh. “Just give me a chance, my love. I will make you feel good. J-Just let me.” His words come out more of a plea, and he internally curses himself – pleading only makes it worse.
You stretch your arms out with a mewl, listening to the satisfying pop in your shoulders. Then, you collapse against Geto’s chest with a yawn. His hands rest on your thighs, and his leg begins to bounce, trying to distract himself. “Dont want to. Can we just relax and watch the movie?” You hum in return.
He faintly hears the movie playing in the background, but he can't pay attention to it. All he can think of is how badly he needs to cum, how desperately he craves to fuck you. You have been sitting on his cock for twenty minutes now, and he feels like he is going insane. “Please let me move. I will be quick, I swear. Just let me cum first, and I will watch the movie!”
You furrow your eyebrows. “Is that all I am to you? Something to fuck? I was trying to have a nice evening, and here you are ruining it cause you can't control yourself.”
Geto grinds his teeth together. He knows what you are doing, especially the way you tightened up just coincidentally after you said that. But still, he plays his part, knowing that it was worse not to. “It’s not like that, you know that.” He begins to kiss your neck, hoping to coax something out of you. “Just want it, s-so badly. Love you so much, but you are torturing me, you know that?” He murmurs, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He licks at his lips, and his fingers twitch on your thigh.
You shake your head, leaning forward to grab a piece of popcorn. The movement of you slightly raising yourself up and then down sends Geto moaning out, and his hands instinctually grab onto your hips. His fingers are shaking, and he is trying his best not just to hold you down and fuck you then and there. He wasn’t one to disobey that easily, instincts aside.
But as if nothing happened, you slump against his chest, feeding yourself some more popcorn.  “No,” You decide, leaning up to press a small kiss to his jaw. “I just want to relax here. ‘s comfortable. You are alright with that, yes, Suguru?”
His mouth goes dry, and he glares at the back of your neck. Suguru knows that is wasn’t simply because you wanted to relax – no, you wanted to tease him, to drive him insane. He wants to yell at you, but nothing will come out of that. So he tries to relax on the couch, spreading his legs and looking at the ceiling. “Yeah. ‘s fine. Relax. Relax,” he murmurs mostly to himself, trying to get himself not to buck his hips into you.
“Good boy,” You coo, pressing another couple of kisses to his neck. He, in turn, jumps with a noise just smaller than a whimper, but tries his best not to complain.
 And then the two of you remain silent for the next ten minutes. You just sat and watched the movie, and Geto found himself playing with anything he could to force himself not to move his hips. He even got soft for a moment when he spent a couple of minutes thinking about how gross curses taste, but with one sigh from you as your arms stretch out and reposition yourself on his cock, he finds himself hard again. 
But then, out of the blue, you turn yourself on his lap and face him. He gulps when he feels your cheek press against his chest while you wear a small grin on your face. You were planning something, he could tell. 
“This movie sucks,” You complain, “Need some better entertainment.”
Geto’s eyes widen and his breathing picks up. “Let me fuck you,” He breathes, using his shaky hands to tilt your jaw up to face him. “Please, I-I promise it will keep you entertained.”
You pull away from his grip, and the man furrows his eyebrows. “Not happening. If you ask again, I will leave you here. Do you understand Suguru?”
He does let a whine slip out this time, but you dont flinch at him, instead seeming to narrow your eyes even more. He nods his head, gulping, before saying, “Yes, ma’am.”
You frown at him, rubbing your thumb on his closed lips. “Poor baby. I wish your body were just as obedient as your mouth. Must be so frustrated.”
Your hands pull away from his mouth and trace down the flowy white tee shirt he wears for bed. They stop and circle the two erect nipples on his chest, and Geto flinches. “I am. Can you please help me?”
You pinch one of his nipples through the cloth and his whole body jerks. “I take it back. Your mouth is as whorish as your body,” You seem to seeth, and Suguru is quick to mumble out multiple apologies to try to get you to let go of the sensitive buds.
After a moment, you spare him and let go of them, but your hands trail to the base of the shirt before sliding under it until your hands touch his abdomen. Suguru gulps but doesn’t say anything as you force his shirt up and over his head. The cloth lands just behind his neck, but neither of you spares it a glance.
Then, your hands dance their way up to his nipples, causing his entire body to freeze. For the months you spent dating him, you have grown fawn of toying with the cute nubs. They were always an erogenous spot for your lover, but during sex, you make sure to always somehow stimulate them. Eventually, they became more and more sensitive, and sometimes, if you are lucky, you can hear him hiss out when they graze the fabric of his shirt while stripping. He has taken to baggier clothes instead of trying to reason with you.
Geto doesn’t move from his position, but his eyes look up at you in a plea. His chest was puffy from yesterday night’s teasing, and you could make out a faint bite mark that trapped the bud. “How do you manage to get cuter?” You sigh, gently pinching both of them in between your pointer and middle finger, which makes a low whine slip from his mouth.
“I dont think I have met anyone other than you that has a strange fascination in a male’s chest,” Suguru mumbles out, a small pout on his face that doesn’t last long, considering that your mouth has found its way to his chest.
His eyes widen, and his hands shoot from your thigh to the back of your hair. “H-Hey. Wait. Oh fuck. Gentle!” He borderline yelps, back arching against the couch as his eyes screw shut. It sends a shiver down his body, and with every drag of your tongue, he can feel himself grow overstimulated.
You grin into his skin, and he can feel your teeth graze against him. “I am,” you mumble out, moving to give the other nipple some attention. His hand tightens on your hair, and he grinds his teeth together to try to distract himself from the overbearing stimulation. It was borderline painful, but at the same time, he knew that the couple probably cum from that alone. And that’s what worried him.
“Now, can I?”
You cock your head to the side, dragging your tongue up his chest. “Can you what?”
Suguru goes quiet for a moment, mouth slightly open as another full-body shiver runs down his spine. “I dont want to cum like this,” he begs, dark eyes flickering to you in a plea, “I want–please let me fuck you. Please. Please!”. 
Your other hand creeps toward his other nipple, running circles around it. It was wet from your mouth, so your finger slides easily over the reddened flesh. His breaths are coming out in his pants, switching from holding his breath to try and ignore the sensation to rapid exhales as he tries to move his chest away from you. It was endearing, seeing him squirm because he usually held his composure well, always growing embarrassed when you tease him about it.
“Why? It feels good, yeah? I think you are going about this the wrong way, Suguru,” You sigh, now using both fingers to flick at the nub. Your lips are millimeters from his, and he is borderline breathing into your mouth. “It is a privilege to cum, y’know.”
Your lover licks at his lips, twitching and letting out a small yelp. “I-I know. Thankful for it. But, it’s a lot,” he whines, accidentally pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your lips when his body uncontrollably jerks. 
He shakes his head back and forth when you chuckle at him, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. “It’s–You are driving me insane,” the man warbles, biting the inside of his mouth and shutting his eyes when you pinch him. His hands drift back to your waste again, and he rolls his hips upward. The action makes you raise your eyebrows, intrigued by the sudden defiance. 
“Dont wanna cum, dont wanna cum like this. Please, please, please move.” You watch as his hands ghost up and down your waist, most likely imagining what it would be like to have you bounce on him. His eyes are screwed shut, and his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration – you even have to tear his lip from his teeth before it begins to bleed.
You dramatically sigh, finally tearing your fingers from his chest to pin them to your side. The action causes him to blink up at you in confusion, and you watch as a singular tear fall to his cheek. “You have 15 seconds to cum, do you understand?”
His body goes rigid, and he leans up from the couch to get closer to you. “Can I?”
“Yes,” you mumble, rolling your eyes. “you can fuck me. Your time starts now.” 
In an instant, you are being pinned to his chest with his face buried into your neck. His hands dig into your waist, and he begins his frantic thrusts upward. Loud moans are breathed into your shoulder, and his mouth begins to pepper your skin in love bites. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” Geto chants, eyes falling contently shut.
Your eyes widen at the suddenness of it all, especially the fact that your face was now suffocating in his chest. But you take this as an opportunity, and immediately your mouth falls on the closest nipple, using your teeth to nibble at it gently.
The reaction is immediate; Geto curses out as his back slightly arches. His pace doesn’t let up even with the sensitive distraction, and more tears seem to tumble down his face. “Ten seconds,” You whisper into his chest, trying to hide the tremble in your voice from how rough he was being with you. He didn’t seem to have a care in the world, simply focusing on his pleasure alone. You didn’t know if you found that cute or annoying.
“W-Wait. Give me five more. Y-You’re counting too fast!” He frantically demands, pulling you tighter toward him. You dont respond, instead trying to find some breathing room to switch to the other nipple. This time when you do latch onto it, you bite it harder than any of the other times, and Geto lets out a screeching sound. Tears cascade down his face, and he whimpers out in pain, but nevertheless, he continues to thrust upward, not willing to miss out on his orgasm.
“Five seconds,” You purr, and at the words, he begins to cry into your neck. Strong arms encompass your entire frame, and he digs his fingers into any surface he can on your body. But his sounds were higher in pitch, and his thrusts were uneven, so you could tell that he was close.
“Three…” He shakes his head back and forth, thick hair tickling your shoulder as his breaths become shorter. His eyes begin to widen, and he gulps, continuing with his hip movements. The room fills with loud slapping noises and pants from both parties. 
“Two…”
But you didn’t get to one because after sending one last long lick to the sensitive bud, Getos comes crashing down. The sound he lets out is breathless, similar to a moan and hiccup, like he struggling to breathe. He throws his head back, and it is just centimeters away from knocking into your chin, but you dont have the energy to tease him. Besides, even if you did, he wouldn’t listen, not in this state at least.
Cum begins to leak out and slide back onto his dick, and the feeling makes you sigh. Getos orgasm lasts around twenty seconds, but even after, his body twitches with aftershock. You watch sweat drip down his neck, and his chest rises and falls as he tries to catch his breath,  But he wears a lazy grin on his face, eyes hazy, but completely content, finally sedated. 
Geto releases your arms and collapses back onto the couch with one last deep sigh. You take this time to inspect his body, grinning to yourself when you catch sight of his nipples. When he catches your gaze, his arms immediately reach out to cover himself. “No more nipple play for a long, long, long time. You are officially cut off from my chest.”
You let out a loud whine in complaint. “You can’t do that! I was just thinking about piercing them!”
The man stares at you incredulously, shivering at the idea of a needle driving through his already oversensitive nipples. “You must be crazy,” he sighs, “and a pervert. Now get off me, let’s go get cleaned up. I want to finish the movie.”
“Uh huh, so now you want to watch the movie with me!” He doesn’t respond, instead just grabbing you by the waist and dragging you toward the bathroom. 
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gh0stsp1d3r · 7 months ago
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May I please request where I am kiaras sister and I become pregnant from rafe and my parents kick me out
I love this sm
Not under my roof
R! Is 19, mikes an asshole
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The wait was suspenseful, Rafe paced the room while your leg bounced up and down, both of you staring at the test.
When the two lines appeared, Rafe threw his hands up, running a hand through his hair. Your eyes welled up.
“Rafe-“
He bit down on his lip, stopping his pacing and looking down at you and nodding, his mind running wild. He thought for a moment before speaking.
“Fuck. Alright, alright, it’s okay. We got this, we can do this shit, right?” He was mostly talking to himself, but he looked at you as he said it. Tears ran down your face and he got down to your level, sitting in front of you, cupping your face gently.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey. It’s gonna be alright, okay? ‘M gonna… figure this shit out, gonna marry you, and I’ll… clean up another room at Tannyhill. It’s gonna be fine. Okay?”
You didn’t say anything or nod, he frowned. “You heard me? I’m gonna figure things out for us.”
You nodded and he sighed, standing up and leaving the bathroom.
The one thing you were worried about? How the hell were you gonna tell your parents?
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You took a deep breath, fumbling with the key in your hand and opening the front door.
“Mom? Dad?” You called out, shutting the door behind you.
“In here!” Your mom shouted from the dining room. Your heart racing as you walked over to them, plastering a fake smile on your face when you saw them.
Kiara sat, looking miserable at the edge of the table, watching as you entered. Sarah was next to her. Great.
“Sit,” your dad motioned to a plate on the other end of the table. You gave Sarah a small smile and she gave one back.
“What’s this?” You asked when you sat down, pointing to the meat on your plate.
“Swordfish.” Your mom spoke, your face fell and your heart sunk. You couldn’t eat high-mercury fish.
“Is something wrong?” Your dad asked, you swallowed and looked at them.
“Uh... No. It’s just… I can’t eat swordfish.” You said, you should have known they would pester you about why.
“Why?” Kiara asked with an attitude, everyone now staring at you.
“I… my doctor told me not to eat meat for a few days.”
“What? Why? Is something wro-“ your mom immediately started.
“Everything’s fine.” You lied with a small smile, taking a sip of the water next to the plate.
“Then why can’t you eat meat, y/n?” Your mom kept going, a warning in her tone now. She knew something was up.
“I- not here.” You told her, glancing around the table.
“Y/n, tell me right n-“
You uttered the words quietly, 'I'm... I'm pregnant.' The room fell silent as your mom's fork clattered onto her plate, your dad's knife froze in the air above the fish, and my sister's eyes widened in shock as she stared.
Her words stumbled out in disbelief. "W- you’re- what?" she stuttered. "Whose... whose is it?
You looked at Sarah, closing your eyes and sighing as you muttered Rafes name.
Sarah’s face turned into one of shock. Kiara’s one of disgust.
“You had sex with Rafe? Are you kidding me right now?!” Kiara shouted, standing up.
“Kiara! Go to your room!” Your dad shouted back, standing up as well, pointing in the direction of her room. Your sister stormed off, Sarah stumbled behind her, still in shock.
Your dad sighed heavily as he sat back down.
“What are you gonna do with it?” He asked quietly.
“I’m… keeping it.”
“Do you really want to raise a child? You’re 19.”
“I- I mean, I want this. Can’t you just be happy for me, for fucking once?”
“Do not use that language with me, young lady.” He sneered. “I can’t have this shit happening under my roof. Under my watch.”
"You only care about your reputation!" You shouted at him, the words bursting like a dam breaking after years of pent-up anger. It felt terrifying to finally release all that had been bottled up inside you for so long.
“Y/n-“ your mom started, trying her best to stop the both of you.
“Don’t ever fucking say that, I’m just trying to help you! You can’t raise a baby! Not alone-“
“I won’t be alone!”
He scoffed, “you really expect me to believe that Rafe Cameron is going to stay with you after this baby?”
“You don’t know anything about him! Dad-“
“Sweetie, I think you should just lis-“ your mom started.
“No! It is my baby and my life, and if you don’t want to be involved in their life, then so fucking be it!”
“That’s not what he mea-“
“Get out.” He said, breathing heavily as he stared at you.
“W-what?” Your mom asked, looking at him now.
“Get the fuck out of my house, y/n.” He pointed to the front door.
“What? Are you serious right now?!” You exclaimed. “You’re kicking me out?!”
He wordlessly stormed to your room, going through all your drawers and grabbing everything, ignoring your mom’s protests as you shouted at him. He went outside, throwing all your clothes outside. He saw Rafe in the car, and stormed over to the car, Rafe getting out the car and furrowing his eyebrows.
“Dad? What are you doing?!” Kiara asked, coming outside now as well. While she was mad, she still had her love for her sister.
“What the fuck, man?” Rafe pointed to the clothes on the floor and your sobbing figure at the doorway.
“I am not having this shit-“ he pointed to you and Rafe. “-Happen under my roof.”
“Seriously? You know, we shouldn’t have even told you.” Rafe scoffed, watching you gather your clothes from the ground and go into passenger seat of his car.
Mike scoffed. “Can’t believe this shit.”
“She’s an adult!”
“I fuckin’ told her time and time again to stay away from guys like you-“
“The fuck is that supposed to mean, Mike?” He sneered, already rolling up his long sleeves before you got out the car and sniffled at him.
“C’mon, please. Don’t.” You told him, not even looking at your parents. Your eyes were pleading and he just scoffed, motioning for you to get back in the car and getting back in the drivers seat.
His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.
“How’d Ward and rose take it?” You asked him quietly, interrupting the silence.
“Better than your parents.” He scoffed, making you look down in your lap.
“I’m sorry.” You mumbled to him.
“For what?” He questioned, genuinely confused as he glanced at you.
“Making you see that.”
“Hey, what did I tell you? I told you I’d be there for you, no matter what. I meant that shit, kid.“
It was silent for a little until he spoke up again.
“But, expect to be asked a million questions by Wheeze when we get back.” He said with a small smile playing on his lips.
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