#whelm is feeling conversational

[whelmed-justwhelmed]

Thoughts about Vincent Valentine and some of his struggles

Some miscellaneous notes before the actual substance of this post.

Loosely inspired by / based on this post, might suggest reading it before my own for a better understanding of the perspectives of the ideas in this post, though not strictly necessary as I think it’s still comprehensible without doing so. This post was made to my understanding + my current interpretation + what I can remember of things at the moment. Anyways here’s my maybe somewhat rambling thoughts, this is what I’ve got thus far. ( @sephirthoughts ask and you shall receive.)

After seeing and being inspired by the previously mentioned post I got to thinking about what I felt to be an interesting character development opportunity for Vincent. The basic premise being how Vincent’s situation, mostly in relation to himself and some of the things that have happened to him in the past, could potentially improve if he could at least start to reconcile his views of things compared to the objective realities. I feel like a step like this could help him to have a healthier perspective and at least somewhat improve his general quality of life.

Now it’s known how feelings such as guilt and regret among other such ones weigh heavily on him, of which a significant amount stem from his time as a bodyguard for the scientists of shinra manor. Although I do acknowledge these things aren’t the only ones that weigh on him and that my proposal of reconciliation is not the only thing that could be done to help his situation, much of his suffering specifically does seem to directly or indirectly stem from that time, his perspective of it, and of how it all relates to him. So with that perspective in mind, I think it’s a good place to start (at least for this hypothetical Vincent character development scenario).

Vincent is the sort where I want to (respectfully) gently grab him by the shoulders and shake a bit going, “It’s not your fault, it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t your responsibility, you did about as much as you could for the situation, It. Wasn’t. Your. Fault.” Sadly though it seems (at least to me I feel) he’s generally not at a point where such a message would really get through to him in any meaningful or lasting way, so then that led me to wonder, what sorts of things might get him to that point? And what would the process look like?

I feel like he would probably need some sort of external prompting to actually properly start the process and that said process would be a gradual one. Not entirety sure how the prompting would start and be sustained though. Perhaps for example as something to start with, something like the moment in the lament of the damned side quest in rebirth where there’s brief vague discussion of the manor scientists and Barrett expresses how he thinks Lucrecia must not have been all that much better than Hojo causing Vincent to get defensive about her. A gradual process of stuff that challenges him like others questioning things and being faced with tangible evidence of the past, something that challenges him and he actually starts to stop and more seriously consider that perspective.

Here’s where the basic premise as previously mentioned really comes in. I feel Vincent’s situation could potentially improve if he could start to reconcile his perspective and feelings regarding what happened then and the objective reality of it. Challenges and consideration could lead to some acknowledgment that those two perspectives can coexist with each other, that he doesn’t have to choose one over the other.

In regards to Lucrecia, while not always exactly the most pleasant way to think of her, he can still feel fondly towards her and her memory while also thinking a bit more critically about how her actions and the choices she’s made have had serious and more often than not harmful consequences, especially about the harm done to him directly or indirectly. He could still care about her, albeit a likely less idealized version of her, and hold her a bit more accountable for the harm she’s caused. In regards to Vincent himself, it could significantly improve his overall view of himself and perhaps by extension general quality of life. Potential benefits being things like generally improving his mental state, the more specific parts of that could be things like better self worth, less self loathing, at least a bit of self forgiveness, generally starting to be able to take some of the blame off of himself. As such it could help him start to recognize he’s largely not responsible or at fault for what happened (and that he was a victim of the circumstances at that point more than anything?). It could help facilitate him being able to cope with it all a bit better, perhaps even heal the mental / emotional wounds a bit.

All that said, I highly doubt all this would be easy for him to do, I think he’s going to have to struggle for it. Like I’ve said, I think it would be a slow and gradual process that challenges him to think more critically and change his perspective to eventually at least start to understand that he’s not the one in the wrong, such a process would take time and effort. It would also involve a lot of difficult emotions, what emotions, in what context, and how they come up, I don’t really have as much of an answer for at the moment as I feel it depends on how one would imagine the reconciliation process and things as a whole would play out. I’m not necessarily saying I want to see him break down or something like that per se, but I would like for him to have proper opportunities to be more openly emotional about it all. For him to have chances to be vulnerable and be treated with care in return. (And if that means having him break down then by all means let him break down.)

I do want to say that I don’t expect such a process to solve everything with him or that I would expect him to stop being upset about all that’s happened or otherwise take away what makes his story his (etc.), just that ultimately the idea is all about getting him to a point of having a bit more of a balance of his feelings and viewpoint. Bittersweet, but hopeful.

Hypothetically, if I were to try and place the idea where I think it could work well game timeline wise, I would place it around Dirge of Cerberus and / or post Dirge. I think it would go well then for the subject matter being covered, could work well thematically, and for potential opportunities for him to actually have the time and space to think and process (etc.). (Admittedly I think that putting it sometime around DoC is the obvious answer and that it could work at other points in time as well if it was done thoughtfully.)

I think that’s about all I have on this right now.

[trashbaget]

*

[joeybsversion]

Pause

Joe Burrow x Reader

You celebrate with Joe and your little family after a big win

As you stand in the concourse in the stadium, you can feel the excitement and anticipation in the air. You have Butterflys in your stomach of both nerves and pride, knowing Joe was going to be making his way down this long hall in front of hundreds of friends, family, and fans. You can’t help but feel a sense of overwhelming love for him that almost brings tears to your eyes, he has filled your heart with so much love and your life with so much joy, including the little bundle currently snuggled into your chest.

“There’s the prettiest girl in the world.” You heard a familiar voice beside you and turned to see Joe’s coach Zac Taylor bent down to the same level as your daughter in your arms, grabbing her tiny hand and running his finger across it.

“Hi coach!” You embraced him in a hug as he stood back up. “Congrats on the win!”

“Thank you! Wouldn’t have been possible without Joe.” He laughed. “How were things up there?” He pointed up, referencing to the box you had watched the game from. “Everything ok?”

“Yes, it was perfect! Such a fun game!” You assured him. The team took the best care of you, always making sure that you had everything you needed.

Loud cheers and applause suddenly interrupted your conversation and you turned to see Joe making his way down the hall.

“Hey, number 9!” You kissed him as he made his way to you, wrapping you in a hug. “Congrats!” You smiled.

“Hi baby. Thank you.” He kissed you back and took your daughter from your arms. “Hi baby girl.” He threw her blanket over his shoulder and kissed her on her chubby cheek. “Daddy missed you during his game.” He cooed.

“I was just telling your wife this win wouldn’t have been possible without ya.” Zac patted Joe on the back.

He laughed, “Thanks coach, whole team played great!” He replied.

“There’s my favorite Burrow!” Ja’Marr came up next to Joe and reached for your daughter.

“Go see Uncle Ja’Marr.” Joe said and handed your daughter off.

It was so funny to see all of these big, tough NFL players coo and baby talk to your tiny girl. You and Joe and your little family were really loved by the whole Bengals team.

“Pretty girl.” Ja’Marr admired your daughters full bengal outfit. “We need to get you an Uncle Ja’Marr jersey!” He held her up so they were eye level.

“Coach Taylors gonna get her a Bengal Cheerleader uniform.” Zac had stepped closer to Ja’Marr, smiling at your daughter.

You and Joe laughed. “Shes so spoiled.” Joe rolled his eyes.

“Congrats, Bro!” Sam was making his way down the hallway and just wrapped Joe into a hug. “That was a huge win!”

“You played great, Man!” Joe congratulated his friend.

“I like this.” Sam teased, pointing to your daughters blanket that was still on Joes shoulder.

You and Joe both laughed. “Where is that tiny girl?” Sam looked around before he spotted her. “Hi princess.” He rubbed his thumb across her cheek as he greeted her.

“Well, you wanna start making our way out of here?” You turned your attention back to Joe.

“Sure,” he smiled. “Is it still cool if some of the guys come over?” He asked.

“Of course, Joe! You know you don’t have to ask.” You reassured him.

“Well I just know it’s been a long day, and I haven’t been around to help much. I don’t want to over whelm you.” He kissed the top of your head.

“She was an angel. She’s definitely getting use to the NFL life.” You giggled, pointing over to the crowd of players all playing with her.

Joe laughed. “Hey boys, let’s go celebrate at my house.” Joe walked over to them and took his daughter back from Ja’Marr. “You can get more baby time over there.” He teased.

You said your goodbyes to the team, even though you’d be seeing them again in a few minutes and followed Joe through the stadium. He had wrapped your daughter in her blanket and her head was snuggled into the crook of his neck.

You couldn’t help but stand back and admire them. It was moments like this that you wished you could pause time. He was so sweet and gentle with her, truly the best dad.

[draco-after-dark]

How do you think feral’s brozone (and co) would react to finding out about the support group?

Ooooooh this is an interesting one.

I also still need to do designs for Feral's brothers but not much changes just a few small things.

I'm going to take this in the direction of something me and a few other JD's group creators talked about before. It's basically a Brozone day where all the JD support group JD's and their brothers all meet up.

This also makes things easier because Feral can't tell his brothers about the group. For obvious reasons.

I guess it really depends on the timeframe. If were talking right after the third movie then they would all be pretty sad. They don't know where their JD is (except for Floyd but oof) and now here they are watching all these different JD's hanging out with their younger brothers. At least for the ones on good terms with each other.

They would definitely get approach by Eldest at one point or another. That man is wholesome and sweet to not check in on the group of brothers tucked in the corner with no JD insight or even near them.

Que sad convo where they explain they don't know where their JD is and that he's most likely dead. Eldest feels incredible bad and would defiantly make them hangout with his brothers for the rest of the event.

For Feral the event would be so over whelming he would tuck into a corner after running through the crowd trying to see if him brother might be here but would quickly start to panic and then run off. Hitman would probably find him hiding under a table cloth. Hitman would defiantly get some chips from grey and give Feral some snacks. Checking in on him periodically during the event.

Now if where talking a few moths after the third movie things would be a lot different. Feral would be so excited for him brothers to meet his fellow JD's. Upon entering the event he would pin point his favorite JD's very quick. Dragging all his brothers over to Eldest and Hitman. I can Feral grabbing the arms of which ever two brothers are closest to him and pulling them up into the air and shaking them around like a kid going "LOOK! LOOK! I FOUND THEM! WE FOUND EACH OTHER!"

I don't know if Eldest and Feral's brothers would recognize each other but i can see Eldest crying at the wholesome dynamic between them all. Feral's brothers all giving him head scratches like the animal his is. Feral trotting around with Floyd on his back as he gives then a tour of the house. Bruce and Feral starting a wrestling match in the living room. Snake would definingly be cheering on the sidelines or even join it dragging his brothers into the mix. So it just turns into one big play fight. Feral's Clay and Branch simple off to the side shaking their heads.

I can see Feral's Branch getting along with Grey easily and Grey giving Feral's Branch the info on the chip bag tactic. Branch may or may start keeping chips bags in his vest at all time incase a certain purple and green haired troll ever appears. Grey and Branch fist bump.

Also i see Feral grabbing Hitman abruptly when his mid conversation with some and picking him up only to place him down it front of his brothers and Hitman being the awkward man his is just stands stands well Feral starts wildly gesturing around. His brothers don't really know what his saying but clearly Feral really like this JD so after they get past the initial awkwardness they start talking. Also they all lose their minds over tiny Ronda. Clay most of all to where he starts going the shaking hands thing.

So yeah his brothers would be thrilled to know that even though their technically other versions of himself that Feral has a few nice and awesome people in his life.

It also explains where that chewed up prosthetic arm came from that they found in the bunker. Among a few other items.

So yeah they are very happy for Feral and it was nice for them to hear JD's voice again even if it's not their JD's.

Also they loose their minds over some of the stories Eldest and Grey tell them about Feral. Most notable is the chip bag and arm incidents.

They get mentioned so "Hey guys bet your weren't expecting this. L."

Eldest JD belongs to @matmiraculous

Hitman JD belongs to @lemony-and-zesty

Snake JD belongs to @gingisauce

Grey JD belongs to @ijjstlostthegame

[aihoshiino]

chapter 145 thoughts!

what even was this chapter, y'all. i'm getting a migraine.

While it certainly wasn't actively bad, it basically hits on enough of the issues I've been having with the Movie Arc that if you've been reading my chapter reviews lately, you could probably write this one yourself. Weird pacing, skipping over interesting parts of the movie, continued framing of AQRB as a shallow gag and failing to follow on any of the implied development from or literally any referenced fallout of the kiss in 143? It's all here, babes. It would ultimately just be boring and redundant for me to go over all that at length again, so I won't.

I will however say that I'm pretty disappointed we're blasting through what had the potential to be some really interesting bits of postmortem characterization for Ai, even filtered through 15YL. I don't mind the manga breezing past scenes we saw firsthand but like… how did Ai react when she realized she was pregnant? How did she feel, especially given that Spica once again emphasized her longing for a family of her own? IDK. The way the story is suddenly jolting forwards in these last few chapters and skipping such huge chunks of Ai's life ultimately feels very strange and I don't know what to make of it yet.

Everyone reacting to Crow Girl's acting was pretty funny though I'm kind of exhausted with Ruby's Gaga-For-Oniichansensei Gag Character flanderization. IDK if my tolerance for it is just decreasing or if it really is amping up, but at least in the 125-137 stretch I at least got the sense that they could be in the same room and have a normal conversation but ever since 139, it feels that bit more relentless. I imagine this would be less irritating if we knew how the aftermath of 143 had played out but it really seems like the manga is going to drag this out until we're all old and grey.

THAT SAID, this chapter does confirm that Aqua's hoshigan stayed white after that chapter and… eh. Who even knows what that means lol. It does at least imply that his talk with Ruby has brought him back to Baseline Aqua but Baseline Aqua is still a guy with every single mental illness on planet earth so I don't know if that's the world's biggest W quite yet. It certainly implies an improvement over double black hoshigan but… again, with Aqua being so totally cut off from the readers this whole arc and no idea of what happened in the aftermath of 143, it's impossible to make a meaningful guess as to wtf is going on with Aqua right now.

Oh yeah, uh. This chapter also I guess constitutes the reveal of how the AQRB reincarnation happened. I guess LMAO. Honestly, I don't have much to say about it other than it feels like a bit of an anticlimax for me? The idea works fine, the execution just left me… idk. Whelmed at best, underwhelmed at most. I feel like this backstory and the implied deep fondness for GRSR -> AQRB it implies doesn't really like up with the personality she displays in the Private arc but like, I kind of feel like she was tossed into the story without Akasaka having a clear idea as to what her role was even going to turn into so maybe that's not a surprise LOL

I will say I'm glad this seems to quash the theory that Aqua and Ruby were secretly capital-G Gods, instead framing it as a Tsuru no Ongaeshi type return of kindness to two otherwise mundane people. There was some fun fan theorizing around the idea, but for me personally, Oshi no Ko is most interesting when it focuses on that aspect of the story Akasaka highlighted in an interview recently, of human relationships being warped by the entertainment industry and I think an explosion of the emotional stakes to the cosmic scale of AQRB (or tbh any of the characters) being Secretly Gods All Along would be a bit of a shark jump for me and would really shift away from what I like about the series most.

That's kind of it for this one…! Not really a lot to say about this chapter, which is why most of this review was me explaining why I didn't have a lot to say about it.

[saphig-iawn]

Day 8 of Turning me into Me

And there I was thinking that I was making progress, but it seems that is not the case. To save my dad dropping by to pick something up and forcing me into boymode I decide to use my daily walk to drop the thing off for him, just a flying visit. It was not a flying visit...

After my conversation with my family I was, while feeling a bit whelmed, positive that things were going to move in the right direction. That that bottleneck on my life as Me felt widened by their response and voice of support. But today felt like a step back because I was pulled into their house and my mum wanted to "make sure she was understood."

"I don't want every conversation we have to be about.. this" she said, "that we could go back to- not normal, but you know what I mean, normal?"

well...

"I don't want you to worry about labels because people don't need to use labels all the time.."

oh...

"And I don't want you to lose your happy place you're in right now until you talk to professionals about this..."

No, you don't tell me how I'm living, here!

So I told her that I'm already speaking to professionals and support groups and I'm meeting people and we're sharing our journey Being on the path to finding things out IS part of my happiness.

She got the message... but then I assumed she got the message last time. But I feel her sentiments are clear. My learning about myself and who I am isn't something she wants to hear, it isn't something that she wants to share with me. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should've just played things straighter, with less smoke and mirrors, but then I remember that someone told me they loved me unconditionally and then I told them how I felt about myself and that changed. That constant in my life became blurred. She's is honestly more excited than I'm losing weight (hate that fucking term) than understanding myself. That my path ahead of me is an aberration and a choice. I was an aberration the whole time, mum, for over 2 decades I was at a tilt, I was adrift. But I'm not an aberration any more.

I am Me.

[two-sides-halved]

Continued | @erisdiamas

Human Steven had a bead of sweat drip from his temple down the side of his cheek. He was afraid she would have mentioned that alternative. He tried to make it seem like he wasn't already over whelmed by the very thought of screwing up such a simple task to most people but he could already feel the nausea welling up in his core, nearly to the point he could smell the phantom scent of hair dye and hear the screams of the teenage girl screaming that some how he had turned her hair some sort of disgusting shade of chartreuse, or he caused her her hair fell out because he did something wrong.

The human's face started turning a slight pink around the cheeks and the bridge of his nose glowing a bit around the edges and in his eyes that seemed to have a 1000 yard stare. He knew that Eris has been through it while she was away and she was seemingly comfortable at home, but the looming threat of him messing it all up felt ever present even when Eris didn't seem like she wanted to leave, but she didn't seem like she wanted to leave before but she still did. As she mentioned that he was held up here in his room it reminded him that they were very much having a conversation.

He let out a nervous chuckle. "Right, right. Of course... dying hair at home is the cheaper option compared to having a professional hair stylist do it." He was having trouble trying to hide his stress about the whole thing. "Let's tackle the whole food situation first though, then we can get to your hair situation... if that's ok..." "maybe Gem Steven will be home by then and he could take care of it, or maybe Connie could... but then again I don't wanna rub the fact she lost her romantic partner when mine also died but she's pink." Human Steven thought the last part to himself.

[caffinecommander]

Prefixes and Perpetuity: Unpaired Words

Unpaired words are probably the funniest tangent of etymology I've ever gotten into. I've been trying to unpair and even re-pair various words and have been working on this list of ones that I think could be used in regular conversation:

Superstitious - stitious (to believe in the natural rather than the "supernatural"

Recognize - cognize (to learn something in preparation for recognition)

Preperation - paration (to get something ready, but when it is needed and not before nor after) AND postperation (to get something ready after it is needed)

Exploding - ploding (to be in the process of having exploded)

Reflection - flection (when direct visual contact is made)

Divorce - vorce (to remain married) AND revorce (to re-marry the same person following a divorce, and then divorce them again)

Reminder - minder (the initial telling of information)

Discord - cord (to be in a state of peace)

Under/overwhelmed - whelmed (to be in a state of neutral. yes I know this one is common)

Nonchalant - chalant (because I'm getting the common ones out of the way: not unassuming)

Realizing - alizing (to simply understand something upon first hearing it)

Project - ject (simply a task that will not benefit or harm any cause.) AND conject (a task that will only cause harm)

Infiltrate - filtrate (to sneakily proceed without going in or out of anything) AND outfiltrate (to sneakily proceed to egress)

Concept - Procept (honestly these ones are a bit hard, because generally the word doesn't have a negative connotation because the prefix isn't actually a prefix. But still, I suppose this could mean a negative idea. Wanted to acknowledge this type but I am not going to do any more of these lol)

Information - outformation (knowledge that is not related to the subject) AND formation (general knowledge)

Disaster - aster (a neutral situation)

Protagonist - contagonist (a negative character. Different from an antagonist, as it is not in direct opposition, but just generally bad) AND tagonist (a character without moral affiliation of any sort)

Insomnia - outsomnia (the ability to sleep)

Probably - conbably (to likely not be)

Disturbed - turbed (to be neutral in reaction)

Confused - profused (to not understand but it is good) AND fused (to not understand but have no negative impact) AND antifused (to refuse to not understand)

Dishevelled - shevelled (to be decently put together)

Superfluous - fluous (a suitable amount)

Distraught - Traught (a feeling of calm)

Distance - tance (negative space?)

And a goofy one that does not make sense:

Cannon ball: Cantonball (a ball that... cannot.)

Any suggestions for additions are totally appreciated. Will probably update.

[hathorneheiress]

Grayson: Dead or alive?

So we know that Grayson when he sleeps, he sleeps like the dead. I decided to write a funny little story about it.

It was half past midnight at Hawthorne House. Everything quiet and peaceful. Well.... almost.

Deep inside the mansion, in a bedroom off the east wing, two little boys were having the time of their lives by having a pillow fight. Squeals of delight and laughter of fun could be heard from just outside the door.

Jameson Hawthorne, age seven, gave a big whack to his five-and-a-half-year-old brother, Xander. The younger, but by no means smaller lad, fell backwards into the oversized coverlet, laughing all the way.

"Oh! This is so much fun!!" He squealed.

Jameson giggled. "It sure is!" He went to thwack Xander but he moved just in time. "We really should be sleeping." He commented.

"You were the one who came to me and told me you couldn't sleep. I'm helping you get tired."

Xander didn't feel tired though. He felt more awake then before he went into Jameson's room. "Maybe this was a bad idea."

"Pillow fights are never a bad idea!" He said, defending his love for pillows and using them as a weapon. He gave a sly smirk. "But I do know what a bad idea will be."

Xander gave his older brother a very hard look. "Whatever it is Jamie, don't. You'll only just yourself in trouble."

"Well, too bad for me because I like trouble."

Xander groaned. "You might as well tell me now."

Jameson brightened. "How does waking our older, broody brother up to see if he wants to have a pillow fight?"

Xander raised an eyebrow. "That's your bad idea? I can think of worse ones you have done."

Jameson shrugged. "I know. But waking up Grayson will be a very bad idea too. He'll be very angry."

"So you want to get him angry and then have a pillow fight? You know that's suicidal."

Jameson rolled his eyes. "Really Xander, do you have to be so practical?"

"Yes, I do."

"Are you going to come with me or not?" Jameson was getting impatient.

"I'm coming." Xander reluctantly followed Jameson to their older brother's bedroom.

They quietly entered the room. They saw the outline of the long, trim form lying on his side.

"Watch this." Jameson said softly. He took a flying leap and landed on top of Grayson. "Come on Gray!" He said laughing, shaking him. "Wake up!"

The older blond boy didn't move. Jameson, wrapped up in the excitement, kept shaking him, unaware of the unresponsive.

It was Xander that stopped him. "He isn't waking up. Stop!"

Jameson did. "Why isn't he?" It was then that he saw Grayson's face. It' was a sickly pale, almost light blue color. Jameson went very pale.

"Oh no!" He cried.

"What?" Xander asked, fear creeping in his voice.

"I..I..I" Jameson couldn't out the words together. "I think he might be dead."

"No!!" Xander cried, tears whelming in his eyes. "He can't be!"

"He won't wake up!" Jameson began to panic. "and he looks so pale. Oh no! What if I killed him?!" He began to shake.

"We need to do something!" Xander cried.

"We need to get Nash!" Jameson shouted.

Together, they ran into their oldest brother's room.

"Nash!" Jameson screamed. "You need to come here quick!"

The fourteen-year-old was awake in an instant. "What's the matter?"

"I think I killed Grayson." Jameson sobbed. Xander was crying.

"What?!!" Nash was running toward the room, only in his boxers.

"Will I go to prison?" Jameson asked Xander, for once fearful of the consquences.

"I don't think so. Grandfather will surely bail you out."

Nash quickly made his way to the still form. Leaning down, he listened to the heartbeat and breathing, while continuing to listen to the conversation behind him.

"Don't worry Jamie, I don't think you will go to prison. And if you have a trail I promise to witness in your defense."

Nash tried not to burst out laughing. He failed. "No one is going to prison!"

"I'm not?" Jameson asked relieved.

"No, you are not. Grayson is just fine. He's sleeping."

"But he wouldn't wake up." Jameson insisted.

"Well, I guess he is tired. Next time, check his breathing before giving a heart attack."

Just then, Grayson began to wake up. Looking up confused, he stared at his brothers standing over him. "Is it time to get up?" He asked sleepily.

Nash laughed while Jameson and Xander pounced on him, giving him a big hug, relieved they had indeed not lost their beloved brother.

Grayson was told the story, and after a good laugh, they all went back to bed.

Jameson would still mess with his brother, but he never jumped on him hard when he was sleeping. He didn't want history to repeat itself.

I hope you liked it! I loved writing this so much!"

[warrioreowynofrohan]

For the fanfic director’s cut: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

YAY thank you!! Do I get to take this as three sections? I’m gonna take it as three sections.

The first one isn’t really a section, it’s the title of The Castaway, which I kept expecting/wanting to be asked about but never was. I finished the fic without having yet thought of a title and this one came to me as a melded reference to a combination of Calvinism, Cowper, and Victor Hugo (combined with the imagery fitting well with Maglor spending millennia wandering the shoreline).

The word “castaway” is connected to the Calvinist concept of predestination, referring to a person predestined to damnation; it shows up in a fair amount of 1800s English literature, including the Brontës. It's also the inspiration for Cowper’s poem of the same name (people may recognize from the 1995 Sense and Sensibility, where Edward’s emotionless reading of it frustrates Marianne).

Obscurest night involved the sky, The Atlantic billows roared, When such a destined wretch as I Washed headlong from on board Of friends, of hope, of all bereft, His floating home for ever left....

No voice divide the storm allayed, No light propitious shone, When, snatched from all effectual aid, We perished, each alone: But I beneath a rougher sea, And whelmed in deeper gulfs than he.

There's a scene of remarkably similar imagery in Les Misérables, as a symbolic evocation of society casting off the convict.

A man overboard! What matters it! the ship does not stop,. The wind is blowing, that dark ship must keep on her destined course. She passes away... He implores the blue vault, the waves, the rocks; all are deaf. He supplicates the tempest; the imperturbable tempest obeys only the infinite. Around him are darkness, storm, solitude, wild and unconscious tumult, the ceaseless tumbling of the fierce waters; within him, horror and exhaustion. Beneath him the engulfing abyss. No resting place.... The sea is the inexorable night into which the penal law casts its victims.

This all exists in the context of the abundance of Christian hymns that describe salvation as being saved from shipwreck:

I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more But the master of the sea heard my despairing cry From the waters lifted me, now safe am I! Love lifted me, love lifted me When nothing else could help, love lifted me Love lifted me, love lifted me When nothing else could help, love lifted me!

So, all of that came together to feel like suitable symbolic associations for a fic that is oriented around the question of at what point, if ever, a person can be considered irredeemable, and about the nature of grace and of hope.

For a second one, I'm going to pick the end of Raised by Wolves. This is in one sense kind of the opposite of the The Castaway, in that it ends with Elrond not forgiving Maglor; but that's not exactly it.

The entirety of Raised by Wolves is about Elrond working through his complex and conflicting feelings about Maglor and his upbringing; the way that Maglor separated him from his family and, by his very care and fostering, alienated him from being part of the culture that he truly identifies with, that of the Sindar.

The issue is not one of Elrond being too angry with Maglor to forgive. The issue is that that forgiveness would need to come from Maglor being willing to hear and understand and acknowledge Elrond's emotions and pain in all their complexity, and let that conversation be about Elrond's feelings, not his own. And Maglor's not willing/able to do that; he's still focused on his own feelings and his own guilt.

Maglor's formed his own idea of what he would hear from Elrond. And because he's not willing to open himself up to that conversation, he doesn't find out that he's not going to hear that, and that instead he would have heard something that was painful in an entirely different way. Elrond's sentiments about the mix of good and bad in that fosterage involve very different things than Maglor's, things that Maglor has never considered. Maglor's guilt is centred on the obvious - that he killed nearly everyone Elrond knew, separated him from his family, and made his life far more dangerous. The idea that raising him as a Noldor - something Maglor couldn't help doing, as it permeates everything he knows - was a wrong, and that is something it's harder for Elrond to deal and forgive with than the more obvious wrongs, is something that hasn't even occurred to him. Having that conversation is something that would be good for both Elrond and Maglor, but one of Maglor's basic personality flaws is conflict-avoidance, and he can't bring himself to open himself up to it.

For a third one - this is going to be more of a confession. Gnawing Itself In Bitterness is the first fic I ever wrote, and is very short (less than a thousand words), about Fëanor in halls of Mandos brooding on how everything is everyone else's fault (the Valar, Fingolfin, Maedhros...). It basically evokes why I have trouble imagining Fëanor ever leaving the Halls - not because he's been sentenced to never leave, but because he's stuck in a resentful, self-deceptive spiral that will never acknowledge he could have been wrong.

It's also pretty much taken directly from C.S. Lewis' The Last Divorce, something I didn't realize until years later when I reread the book and noticed with a shock that I had echoed Lewis' depiction of Napoleon Bonaparte in the afterlife so closely (at least, in that the fic started and ended with "It was all the fault of the Valar..." and continued in that tone throughout) that that must have been my subconscious inspiration:

"What was he doing?" "Walking up and down - up and down all the time - left-right, left-right - never stopping for a moment. The two chaps watched him for about a year and he never rested. And muttering to himself all the time. "It was Soult's fault. It was Ney's fault. It was Josephine's fault. It was the fault of the Russians. It was the fault of the English." Like that all the time. Never stopped for a moment."

Thank you so much for this opportunity to ramble about my stuff! <3

[bluehairmisfit]

Eye Colors and an Attempt At Personal Growth Somehow?

So, odd detail about me that makes way more sense when I remember that I'm Autistic, but I don't know most of my friends' eye colors. I know my partner's eye color, but not from actually looking.

I can tell you other details about my friends’ physical appearances and external details. I can tell you about their smiles, laugh, their body type, how they walk— hell, I can identify one of my besties by how she walks, because it’s distinct!

But eye color? Pfft yeah right.

Thing is, I look at faces, sure, but eye contact is tricky for me, and sometimes that shuts my noticing mind off. And Not All Eye Contact Is Created Equal.

So like I have three school besties, as I call them. Technically I have another school friend who could leap up to that category if I saw him/spoke to him often enough, but he's very busy, it seems, and while I could stand to reach out more, that's not really the point of this post.

So I have Quest Buddy (QB, as I've called him in posts), Bus Buddy (BB for this post), and Writing Buddy (WB for this post).

WB is someone I was talking to almost daily but we’re both depressed so that has unfortunately slowed down a lot. I think, logically, that his eyes are probably brown, since he’s a POC for one thing, but also because any other eye colors feels odd if I imagine it.

BB, I see about once a week and text maybe 3 days a week. I have no clue what color her eyes are. At all. I don’t know what color her glasses are. I know she has a contagious smile, and I can hear her laugh if I try hard enough to remember it, but eye color?? No clue man.

QB is worse. I can make eye contact with the other two, but I’m not observing details at all. I’m just showing I’m listening. However, I can rarely, if ever, make eye contact with QB for more than a split second.

Thing is, he’s “good” at vulnerability (from an outside perspective) and I’m not, so meeting his eyes for all of about a nanosecond is over-fucking-whelming sometimes and gives me an instant stomachache akin to the tome I journaled 8 pages and then collapsed.

(It’s worse if he’s actively upset, whether he’s hiding it or not, and I have asked before in order to confirm suspicions, so I’m not just projecting)

So yesterday, we had a meetup for basically a mini halloween party, and all three were there. QB and I were talking about lot of the time and I was fucking curious as to his fucking eye color.

(Realistically, I can find pics of QB, BB, and WB, so if I wanted to, I could try to see if I could figure it out from pictures, but... I'm hardheaded.)

So when he broke silence and started chatting with me about video games, I started scheming a little.

(Not scheming, really, since I can make eye contact with SOME people, but I needed to hype myself up for this shit.)

At some point, I started absentmindedly playing a phone game, which I do a LOT during these in-person hangouts, and he starts trying to figure out what I'm doing so I explain the game and start rambling about how I'm not supposed to be playing phone games at meetings because that's a sign of avoidance towards I-don't-even-know-what-until-later (honestly, usually him so I don't make WB insecure, but that's a whole other story), and how I realized at like 16 that if I play the role of "phone-addicted teen/young adult", then people don't question my lack of eye contact.

And then when the conversation continued, I ended up trying to make eye contact at least enough to figure out what his fucking eye color was.

Which, Mission Accomplished, I know the answer to the question.

Now I just have to hope he never asks if he WAS the thing I was avoiding.

[whelmed-justwhelmed]

Hello, yes, that is my emotional support Awful Man™

[name-pending-i-promise]

Just finished PJO Episode 8 like 5 minutes ago, here are initial thoughts

Overall the show has definitely had its issues, but in all honesty I don't have a single major complaint about how it ended.

The fight between Ares and Percy was properly whelming. Got some water action and the appearance of some golden ichor was pretty rad

Olympus was pretty cool. It was a tad jarring going from not-asgard to a crumbling ruin but that was pretty easy to justify in my head (i just assumed the council chamber was built in the oldest part of the city and that's why it was so comparatively decrepit). Zeus was exactly what I'd hoped he would be. Not an outright villain, but egotistical and far too certain of his own strength and authority. Poseidon surrending to save Percy was a nice addition, imo it justifies the timeline shift.

I'm a little disappointed we didn't see more Hades but that's more of a "please show me more of this intriguing fruity man" thing and not a genuine complaint.

The conversation with Luke was nearly perfect I think. I'm glad he outright tried to recruit Percy. His book strategy of luring him into the woods to explain his entire plan and then outsource his murder was lowkey my least favorite part of the original book. I'm glad that it was more of a conversation and not just exposition.

Seeing what I think is Kronos's actual mortal form (albeit cloaked) was very cool. The double fake-out with Sally in the cabin was a little odd imo, but eh.

GABE IS DEAD WOOOOOOOOOO

Anyway book spoilers/future season spoilers under break

ONE IN-UNIVERSE YEAR (i think?) UNTIL WE CAN SEE THALIA!!!

Gods I can't wait to see her, genuinely. Her being 16 in the books never really stuck out to me, I always imagined her as having basically the same physicality/maturity as the other characters. Being an ancient being who has seen countless winters now (I think I was like 10-14 ish when I first read the books?), I'm thrilled at the prospect of seeing this 16-year-old punk pine tree trying to wrangle half a dozen children for an entire season.

I am curious on whether they'll retcon Ares' curse (when you need it most your sword will fail you), whether it'll happen some other time, or if they'll just ignore it. I don't remember it being super crucial to the plot so I wouldn't mind if they forgot about it honestly.

First appearance of backbiter letsgooo. I kiiind of wish they talked more about what it was. I don't mind it being able to open doors but in the books I feel like it's most defining trait was that it's a combination of normal steel and celestial bronze, meaning it can kill mortals. I feel like that immediately sets the stakes by telling you that Luke is planning to kill people, not just gods. I'm sure they'll address it eventually.

[greywindys]

Share your thoughts on the final of BNHA once you finished it, please

Yes! Sorry, I'm late. I was away this weekend, so I actually still haven't had the chance to read the official translation, but these are some of my thoughts that I'm going to try to limit to a few paragraphs (feel blessed that I don't subject this blog to all of my anime tangents).

The tl;dr version is...whelmed, but more positive than negative.

I don't hate the ending as much as some people, but I can also admit that it's a tough one for fans who aren't there for Bakugou or Deku, and even then, there still feels like there are chunks missing from their respective stories.

Obviously, I'm mostly into this series for Bakugou. I would argue, objectively, that he has the most dynamic and satisfying arc in the series overall. For someone who seems to be more of an artist than a storyteller (this isn't to say he's terrible or anything, I actually think he's good at this too), Hori did a pretty good job with him. I'd say he fulfilled he promise to treat his story with care. I wish we had more inner thoughts, more conversations. The biased part of me thinks there should have been more recognition for what he contributed to the final battle. But then another part of me thinks, well, it's in character for Bakugou to want to keep those moments (i.e. what happened with Shiggy) private. We should have at least gotten a scene of AM signing his card. But I also knew we wouldn't because I, to this day, still believe that was a random thing Hori threw onto his death fakeout to make it seem more tragic, and not because he genuinely wanted it to be a part of Bakugou's story line. I'll stand by this! But he should've signed his card.

Idk if I'm in the minority about this yet or not, but I don't mind Deku's ending. It was surprisingly, refreshingly, bittersweet. This series has, in the past come across as too optimistic for me. I was full expecting everything to ~work out, and I mean, it still kinda did? But Deku losing his quirk, everyone growing apart and moving onto their respective adult lives, that's all very real. But I also don't think that takes away from Deku's identity as a hero. Those who expected him to end the series as the strongest, most admired, rich etc, hero perhaps have forgotten that Deku was never motivated by any of those. He's in it because he genuinely care for humanity and wants to help others, and he continues to do that into his adulthood, with or without a quirk. I don't think we're supposed to pity him, and it's too bad that's what some are doing. He's happy! And we see the impact he's made on everyone at the end.

At the same time, the absence of Deku's inner monologues in particular, create a weird distance from him, and wish Hori had brought it back in the final chapters. We never really got to know what he thought about the final battle. And even outside of him, I surprised at how much was skimmed over re: other important characters (Todoroki, Aizawa, Dabi, etc.).

But it it was burnout, I get it. Having written a fic that took two and a half years of monthly updates, I get it. I, too, received feedback calling part of my ending rushed, and I agreed. I knew it was rushed! I would get to certain points in the chapter and realize that the paragraph I was working on could be its own chapter. But I was just ready to be finished writing it (I love the story to this day, don't get me wrong), I didn't want to expand it anymore. So, I can't imagine what I would feel like after 10 years. So, I can't be that angry. In some ways, the loose ends leave a lot for the fandom to work with, and I know it'll inspire many amazing works.

So yeah, I thought the ending had its strong points and its weak points. But I appreciate some of the choices Hori made. I hope he can get his rest now lol.

[commander-hanji-zoe]

hey may i request hanji hcs with hyper/almost as maniac as them reader?

Hello! I know this has taken me an age to answer, but I suddenly found inspiration and wanted to come back to you with my thoughts. I hope you are well and that you enjoy!

For Hanji this is a perfect scenario, someone who finally understands them on a deeper level and who they can interact with on the same level. For everyone else, especially Moblit and Levi, it’s a little bit more of a nightmare.

Constantly finishing one another’s sentences.

Getting more and more energised as conversations go on, especially if it’s something they’re both passionate about and interested in. Think discussions on science, titans, gardening – the possibilities are endless.

They would definitely go on some day trips together, perhaps for research and to ride horses until they get tired out.

Early mornings, before sunrise to go for a run and then have a coffee or tea to start the day.

Kitchen experiments, especially when planning on hosting a dinner party for the others. Expect food in different ‘fun’ shapes and strange flavour combinations.

Enthusiastic about everything and this rubs off on one another.

Easily able to excite the other even if it’s about something the other has never been interested in before.

Presentations to the Scouts which are a little hap-hazard and chaotic. Lots of moving parts, entertaining elements so people don’t get bored or distracted. It’s kinda loud and a lot at the same time.

But there’s also the other side of this, the fact that Hanji often feels misunderstood and somewhat of an outlier even with their close friends. So having another friend (or partner) as a member of the Scouts with a similar personality type who is also quite hyper is a really big help. It soothes them to have someone to talk to about it and in turn it helps Hanji to manage better with the days where even they know their energy is too high and they need to wind down a bit.

Long conversations over a few drinks in the evening about how to help calm down/soothe themselves in stressful or busy situations.

Talking about how it makes them feel and how others perceive them, a lot of comforting and reassurance is to be found for both in these late-night chats.

When drunk there’s always singing and it’s the type of songs everyone knows the words to so loads of people can join in. But it’s the two of them that take centre stage and manage to pull off incredible (well, considering they’re often drunk) duets.

It does sometimes mean their place gets a little messy or cluttered as they both have to be in the right mood to clean and neither of them will take ownership of this or find they can concentrate for long enough to clean the entire dorm room/apartment etc. Instead, they tackle things one small thing at a time, one draw, one room…one item on a messy agenda. They encourage one another to stick to this one thing and rewards are always present at the end.

All tasks are broken down into small and easy to manage chunks – this makes the processing far more bearable and less over-whelming.

If dating, they are adorable together and can always be spotted in a crowd.

They can be incredibly spontaneous when it comes to random acts of affection, surprises, planning trips for Birthdays etc. But they work best when things aren’t planned too far in advance and they allow the weather, mood etc. to take them.

It’s a relationship where trust and mutual respect is absolutely vital, along with fun – fun is the key.

Having sex for them is usually something that’s a lot of fun, often spontaneous and both up for trying new things within the realms of comfort and consent. It can be serious and soothing when it needs to be and they both try to make it as romantic as they can.

But the fact they can both be a bit clumsy means that candles and other things aren’t usually the best of ideas.

[notalwayshappening]

This Story Has Us Feeling Totally “Whelmed”

Two young women, possibly teenagers, are having a loud and animated conversation at my checkout lane. Customer #1: “No, if they say you’re under arrest, you just say you’re over arrest. And then they have to let you go.” Customer #2: “Oh, over arrest, like ‘I’m so over it’?” Customer #1: “Exactly! It’s a secret hack, like those special fries at In-N-Out. My daddy is a lawyer, so I know these things…” And off they went into the wild… with the ability to drive and vote…

So true, OP, it's unbelievable how gullible some people are! Like, some of them would seriously fall for someone claiming to have overheard the most ridiculous stuff...