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#whatever. its messy but its mine
ptolemaeverbloom · 6 days
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ptolemaeverbloom ; the fic masterlist
!!! 18+ only, minors please dni !!!
all my bandfic can be found on ao3 under the name ptolemaeverbloom !
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fics by fandom!
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ICE NINE KILLS.
demons become angels to some (series) : ricky armellino/spencer charnas || explicit overall
an au series centering around raised-exorcist ricky armellino and lone incubus spencer charnas as they meet, have sex, and learn things about themselves, the world, and each other - all while navigating their newfound and kinda strange relationship.
installments so far...
fixed on you : explicit, 10k+ oneshot
your worth : explicit, ongoing multichapter, currently at 1/?
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SPIRITBOX.
sewn-spine lullaby : courtney laplante/mike stringer || explicit, ongoing multichapter, currently at 1/?
a fantasy au centered on a human mike stringer as a monster from the fabled and dreaded singing forest takes an interest in him.
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SLEEP TOKEN.
show me what you do : ii/vessel, offscreen polyvessels || explicit, oneshot
ii and vessel share a moment alone.
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show me your weakness : ii/iii/iv/vessel || explicit, ongoing multichapter, currently at 2/4, on temporary hiatus
a fic exploring vessel's relationship w/ sex, submission, and subspace.
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TW - where love didn't exist : ii/iii/iv/vessel, sleep & vessel || mature, ongoing multichapter, currently at 1/?, on temporary hiatus
a (somewhat vent) fic exploring vessel as he exits lifelong dissociation and slowly recovers memories of childhood abuse.
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arcana (character studies) (series) : ii/iii/iv/vessel || currently unrated
a series where i take the sleep token guys, weave together my own "canon", and write tarot-inspired character studies abt them.
installments so far...
the empress : unrated, ongoing multichapter, currently at 1/?, on temporary hiatus
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love bites : ii/iii/iv/vessel || explicit, currently at 1/2, on temporary hiatus
a fantasy au where starving vampire vessel gets fucked by werewolves ii, iii, and iv. that's it, that's the fic.
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HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD.
the time is now : gen, platonic relationships only || mature, last updated in 2021 at 19/?, on extensive hiatus until i figure out what the fuck to do with it
a really weird and undefinable au longfic where the hu guys have powers. and also there's a pocket dimension that is controlled by a guy who wants to kill them.
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autumnrory · 2 months
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woooo my niece took 5 of my 13 lego sets, one of which was one of the three larger ones, so that's one huge box out of the way and i'm just glad she wanted them because like they ARE twenty years old and they look fine ofc but sometimes kids aren't gonna want stuff that isn't new and shiny ya know, but she did seem to want everything which would've been fine with me but i knew there was no way they would take all that with them, and at least i still have stuff of my own to sell, plus should get at least a cut of my brother's stuff for doing the inventory and putting together that stuff that wasn't already done
#i mentioned the hp sets and how they had been pretty much left together and he was like '....i had harry potter sets?'#which once he saw them he did think they were familiar which was some of my feeling with mine#like oh YEAH i do remember these i just didn't remember having so many#i mean between 13 sets it's really like 3 categories so i would've played with like the whole ice palace and its related sets#i do just wonder how it'll be at the store like everything is pretty much in fine shape#and probably there are people who want older stuff that's rarer and whatever now#BUT then there might be more of a demand for newer stuff at a better price or whatever idk#anyway 6 sets left in the upstairs and then the bionicles and statue of liberty are still in the attic#i'm still not convinced there couldn't be another box somewhere bc idk how to explain the few sets#that are missing so much that i can't actually do them bc even if we had gotten rid of some why would we not include the huge base or w/e#anyway we'll see! but i'm getting closer! and i did a little one this morning#that seemed to be complete it didn't list some of the pieces as extras but based on the instructions i figure they have to be#so i don't really need them like i'll include them if i find them and they're not needed for something else but yeah#anyway i can go back to fic though these first two at least are short so i may be going back to another one tomorrow#can't wait to have my room back though fr like#it is not the only thing making it feel messy because i have newer jewelry and clothes and stuff that i just have to organize and put away#but man the jewelry situation is just. it's not even having so many pieces it's like big earrings that take up a lot of space or whatever#so i just have not wanted to deal with it but it's kinda out of hand#but i can really think about that after this particular project is done#and do puzzles again oh my god i have 3 puzzles waiting for me at least#plus my mom always has a bunch to be done since everyone knows to buy her puzzles lol but that has also gotten out of hand#i wouldn't mind getting rid of a couple of mine though just bc it is like okay you do it but then you just have it and it takes up space#would be cool to have pretty ones framed tho
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protagchihiro · 2 years
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in love with an ideal
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worldlxvlys · 8 months
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HEAR ME OUT
PILLOW PRINCESS!READER X BF!MATT
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princess
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: smut, p in v, cream pie, matt wakes reader up with sex but ALL ACTIONS THAT TAKE PLACE ARE CONSENSUAL!!
a/n: ok so i combined all three of these requests
hope you enjoyyyy :)
here’s don’t stop, go read if you want !!
waking up next to matt was perfect.
the bags under his eyes were more pronounced, his hair messy, and his voice low and raspy.
his face being the first thing i open my eyes to would never fail to make me happy.
nothing could compare to it.
well, maybe one thing.
“fuck, i need you so bad baby” i heard matt whisper into my ear.
my eyes fluttered open, immediately being met with the sight of a sleepy-looking matt.
he was rubbing his hard dick against my wetness, making me moan out.
“you ok, baby?” he asked, looking down at me with half-lidded eyes.
“fuck yes, matt” i gasped as i let my head fall forward, into the crook of his neck.
“you don’t even gotta do anything, baby. just wanna make you feel good”
he placed a kiss to my shoulder as he lined himself up, slowly pushing into me.
“fuckkkk” he groaned out.
i clenched around him at the sound.
“shit, baby. not gonna last if you do that” he said as he waited for me to adjust.
“ok, you can move” i said.
he wrapped his arms around my waist and slowly began to thrust into me.
my head flew back into the pillows, as i held onto his shoulders for stability.
“god, you look beautiful like this baby” he whispered to me.
“love being close to you like this”
i moaned in response, clenching around him repeatedly.
“fuck, i’m gonna cum” he whimpered out, seconds before he shot his load deep inside of me.
the feeling of his hot cum being fucked into me made my jaw hang open, eyes rolling back.
he softly caressed my thigh, hooking it around his waist to push himself even deeper into me.
“doing so fucking good for me, baby” he groaned.
“god, i love you so so much. can’t believe you’re mine”
his sweet words combined with his deep thrusts made my brain fuzzy.
he brought his hand to my clit, rubbing quick circles on it.
“s-shit matt” i choked out a moan.
“fuck, can’t wait to see that beautiful face you make when you cum”
“i’m gonna-“
“yes, yes give it to me baby. you got it” he said as he continued his movements.
with that, i released all over him.
he helped me ride out my high, before pulling out of me.
we both took a minute to catch our breath before speaking.
“thank you, matt. i’m beyond grateful for you” i said, giving him a kiss to the cheek.
“of course, baby. you deserve to feel loved” he left kisses across my collarbones.
“you deserve to be treated like a princess” he moved down to my boobs, leaving kisses so light they tickled.
“matt!” i giggled out.
he smiled at the sound of my laugh.
he brought his face to mine, lightly nudging his nose against mine.
“if you saw yourself the way i do, you’d be obsessed too”
“oh, so you’re obsessed with me?”
“baby. i just woke you up by grinding on you like a teenage boy. you drive me fucking insane”
“yeah, it was pretty pathetic” i said in a teasing tone.
“alright.” he said as he pulled away.
“no, matttt ! don’t be like that” i said, trying to suppress my laughter.
he glared at me, “it’s really not that funny”
i pursed my lips, trying not to laugh. “no, of course, you’re right”
the corners of his mouth slowly spread into a grin, and we both bursted out laughing.
“whatever, you suck” he said.
“hm, that’s not what you were saying a little while ago”
🌸🌸🌸🌸
hope you liked <333
masterlist
tag list: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sturnspepsi @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @soursturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @rheaakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @abbie13sworld @starsturniolo @hearts4chris @theyluv-meee @sturns-posts @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @heartz4chris @jackcscxddles
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b1mbodoll · 4 months
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I’m gonna cry plsssss more werewolf jake pls i need him so bad 😫
pairings: sim jaeyun x f! reader
warnings: werewolf! jake + predator / prey + knotting + spit / drool + anal + fingering + pussyjob ?? + biting
💌: you guys can blame lulu for the predator + prey / chase bit because she made me insane 🩷
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werewolf! jake lives for the chase. he loves to hunt down his little human girlfriend in the woods, letting you get a headstart before running after you and using his canine instincts to track you down. his ears twitch at the sound of twigs snapping, inhaling deeply in the hopes of catching your scent and when he does, his tail wags behind him as he makes his way in your direction.
the fear and adrenaline coursing through your veins keep you going, pushing deeper and deeper into the maze of trees, panting heavily as exhaustion creeps up on you, much like, unbeknownst to you, jaeyun was as well.
he makes sure to keep quiet as he sneaks up on you, circling you like the apex predator he is. it’s quiet and you think you still have a fighting chance, until jake finally pounces, forcing you to submit. he uses his inhuman strength to pin you down, face down ass up before shredding your clothes. you do your best to look back at him and the sight almost scares you, he’s grinning wickedly and nearly salivating as he has his way with you.
you lay there, pliant and submissive while jake continues to feel you up, pawing at your tits with one hand as the other slides between your legs, your cunt dripping with arousal and it takes everything in you not to moan when the rough pads of his fingers circle your clit.
“you’re all mine,” jake starts, eyeing your holes. “i caught you. i can do whatever i want to you, right, pup?” although it’s a question, you know that no matter what you say to him he’ll use you however he pleases.
nonetheless you nod your head as best you can, grimacing at the feeling of the dirt beneath you. the werewolf smirks at your confirmation. “attagirl.”
his thick fingers slip inside of your messy cunt and you gasp at the intrusion, walls clamping around him as they fill you up and stretch you out. your juices coat the digits and he pulls them out only to rub the tight rim of your asshole, pushing his middle finger inside and groaning, making sure to lubricate your hole with your own slick.
although he’s impatient, jakey isn’t completely cruel. he knows his cock is big, maybe even too big for you, so he finishes teasing your hole and mounts you, gliding his length between your pussy to collect more of your arousal.
it’s thick and wet between your folds, precum dribbling steadily from his tip and you reach for it, using your hand to completely drench his dick and minimize the discomfort of what’s about to happen.
“that’s a good pup — fuck — keep strokin’ my cock, just like that.” your hand falters at the praise, mind foggy as fatigue takes its toll on your body. “unless you want it to hurt, i don’t mind.” he sneers.
you can’t bring yourself to continue and jake takes that as your answer, pulling back to spit on your hole before lining his tip with your entrance. he places a palm on your asscheek, groping and pulling to watch the way your empty hole begs for him.
“gentle, jakey.”
he rolls his eyes. “yeah right.”
he forces his cock into your asshole, pushing deeper until you squeal and squirm. he’s only halfway in and you’re already crying? pathetic, he thinks. despite your struggling, he continues to fuck into you and you’re afraid he’ll break you from the girth. will you even be able to take his knot?
it seems you’re the only one worried; jake leans forward and presses his chest to your back, grunting and groaning in your ear as he thrusts into you at a rough pace. tears gather in your lashline, whimpering as he continues to stretch your hole more than you thought possible, driving his cock deep inside.
he nearly howls when you clench around him, his furry tail thumping on the ground and he begs you to do it again, his cock twitching when you obey.
jake’s orgasm hits him hard, dropping his head and resting it on your shoulder, his knot inflating and rope after rope of warm, sticky cum splashes within you, clinging to your walls. there’s so much of his seed in your ass with nowhere to go, the swollen bulge keeping the two of you locked together.
your wolfboy’s climax was intense and it leaves him drooling, his mouth falls open and his sharp canines are too close to your soft skin, making you squeeze him once again from the fear of them sinking into you.
the vice grip you have on him makes jake almost.. feral and he grounds himself by biting you, teeth tearing into your nape and he growls when you wince, only closing his eyes to wait out his knot after you relax and allow him to keep his canines within you.
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rationaliity · 5 months
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massage | dr ratio blurb
1.5k words about giving ratio a massage because you're his partner and you love him. that's it. that's the post. there's nothing else i can say about that. purely self indulgent sweetness there's nothing else for me to add. reader is gender neutral, and referred to by him and themselves as veritas' partner. i wrote wayyy too much about such a simple concept but what are you gonna do ? lock me up ? i dare you.
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you knew how veritas liked to wind down for the night. after a few years being married to him, you've figured out the routine by now. you can tell he's starting to get tired when he sits his book down and nods off a little in his chair. you have to gently shake him awake, or call out to him a few times before suggesting that maybe it's time for bed, that you're the one getting sleepy, not him. and then, finally, he'll sigh and tell you that he still has so much work left for him to do, but he supposes that he should humor you for a little while.
he'll get up, and trudge his way to your shared bathroom and begin to get ready for the night. he takes off his robes and puts them up on a hanger, and taking off his gold accessories, including his adornment and chain that went around his neck, and his laurel accessory. after unbuttoning the top button of his vest, he takes off his contacts and puts on his glasses because he's as blind as a bat without them.
and of course, then you come in. you'd change out of your day out and into your pajamas, which was usually just a tank top and a pair of underwear, and then you would make your way to the bathroom where veritas was in the middle of his routine, probably brushing his teeth. you would brush out your hair and make sure that you had taken off any makeup - and probably remind him to take off his eyeliner, too. you were usually trying to get a good look at yourself while behind him in the mirror, often ducking or tilting to the side so you could see yourself.
after brushing your teeth, were were mostly done, save for whatever skincare you did at night. and then you would glance at veritas, your eyes raking over his body, and you would snake your arms around his torso, your head against his back. " you look so nice, veritas, " you would mumble against the fabric of his vest, pressing a soft kiss against his back. " this is my favorite veritas. the guy with grandpa glasses and messy hair who snores at night. "
veritas stifled a laugh, finishing brushing his teeth and rinsing out the minty foam from his mouth before turning around, his arms lazily hanging off of your shoulders. " i suppose its only natural you have your favorites, just as i have mine, " he whispered, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly in a half smile, the exhaustion evident on his face. " although, i must admit, it's amusing to see you try to seduce me while i'm half dressed. "
" is it working ? " you asked teasingly, pressing a kiss on his shoulder, leaning into his touch. you could see the tiredness in his eyes, the way he could hardly keep his eyes open even as he shared such an intimate moment with you.
" it's.. charming, " he admits, his voice low and even, and he couldn't stop the small sigh of contentment that spilled from his lips as you kissed him. he knew that you enjoyed these intimate moments, and he'd found himself growing rather accustomed to them too, despite his penchant for a busier, more active lifestyle. but you knew something the world didn't, you saw the warmth in his icy facade that veritas presented to the world as dr. ratio.
" how about i charm you some more, veritas ? " you asked, smiling softly at him, knowing just what he needed. this was the time for your care to shine through, something that honestly didn't happen often enough. " how about a massage, doctor ? " you purred, your eyes glimmering with a longing to please him in a way that only you could. " let me indulge you, dearest dr. ratio. " you only ever used the title dr. ratio in two situations : when you're a guest speaker in his lecture room, and when you're trying to deliberately provoke him into your little games, just so he would let you take care of him for a little while. and it was working splendidly
" you know i've never been one for massages.. " he hums, allowing his voice to trail off as he thought about your little offer. finally, he gave a little sigh, too tired to protest much. " but perhaps, just this once, i might make an exception for you. "
you smiled, taking his hand, as well as a bottle of his favorite scented lotion, leading him towards the bed. once he was laying on his stomach on the bed, his vest long gone, you really had the chance to enjoy his body in a mostly nonsexual way. you sat on his butt with your legs straddling either side of him, hovering over his vulnerable form. you squirted the lotion on your hands, warming it up between your fingers before you began to work on massaging his shoulders. veritas let out a soft grunt as your skilled fingers worked through the knots in his muscles, finding himself relaxing under your ministrations.
your touch was firm and yet gentle, knowing that you would have to be a little rough with him to get out particularly tight tension knots in his muscles. massaging the expanse of his back, you found yourself completely thrown into the little side mission of pleasing your husband that you gave yourself. " when was the last time you had a massage, dear ? " you asked gently, your fingers trailing down his spine, pressing into his skin to work through the tension. " you should let me take care of you more often. you know i enjoy helping you out, you've just gotta ask your lovely partner for help sometimes. "
" i can't recall. perhaps its been far too long, " he mused out loud, his voice deep and grumbly as he closed his eyes, his head in his arms while he enjoyed this moment with you. he knew you well enough by now to know that you weren't talking about just giving him a massage when he needed to relax. you were also extending yourself to comforting him, or supporting him through his endeavors. you'd be there to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on should he need it. and although he may not say it verbally, he couldn't help but appreciate your unwavering support more than you could ever know.
" you know i'm always here, veritas, " your voice was inexplicably warm and loving as you massaged his back, feeling him relax so much more underneath your touch, your every move melting the stress from his body. " i always will be. "
" i wouldn't expect anything less from my beautiful partner, " he chuckled softly, the sound muffled by his arms. there's a note of admiration in his voice, a rare glimpse of vulnerability revealing itself beneath the layers of his typically stoic demeanor. he couldn't help but feel a sense of calm wash over him. for all of his faults and flaws, this is where he found his solace; in the quite moments shared with you. the world fades away gradually to him, leaving only the two of you together.
in this moment, he's not dr. ratio, the scholar within the intelligentsia guild, nor the doctor working tirelessly to save his patient's lives. he's got no doctoral under his belt that taught him to how to love, and yet he found himself doing so effortlessly with you. he was simply veritas, a man basking in the comfort and love of his partner. as you work your magic on his tense muscles, he lets his thoughts drift aimlessly. veritas lies there, basking in your tender touch, and he can't help but feel a sense of contentment.
you smiled when you began to hear the soft, familiar sounds of his snoring. you stopped for a moment, looking over his features. his hair was messy and in his face, his eyes closed, and there's no negative emotions on his face. he wasn't angry, or stressed, or worried. he looked peaceful, and happy. you picked yourself up, walking over to grab a towel to clean your hands from some of the lotion. the sound of his snoring became almost like a lullaby to you, a signal that something went right, that you had done something right. you wiped off the remaining lotion from his back, putting the towel on his bedside table before leaning over to him.
you paused, taking in his features up close, before gently brushing his hair out of his face, your hand resting on the top of his head before you gently kissed his cheek. " i love you, veritas. not the man you present yourself as, but the man that you are when no one else is looking. " you knew that underneath his many layers, veritas was a man who wasn't so different from everyone else after all. he was inherently kind, although stubborn in his ways, something that you had grown to love about him.
as you settled in beside him for the night, you couldn't help but think that you were the luckiest one in the room.
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satorudoll · 1 year
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☆ HE'S MINE ALL MINE —
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#part 2!
: ̗̀➛┊! please read pt.1 before starting this, or it will seem like a block of nonsense !┊
☆ nerd + secret boyfriend!gojo x popular!fem reader
content: MDNI! explicit content, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, cunnilingus
word count : 7.5k
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You stare at your reflection in the dressing table mirror, messed mascara that had run down and dried on your once pink cheeks, your eyes blank and shoulders slumped as you sat still on your vanity table as deftones continued to beat through your speaker,
but your ears were too numb to comprehend any passing sound right now.
"Are you seriously planning to not move from there!" Your elder sister barges into your room with annoyance, finding you sitting in your lacy tank top and grey shorts, face a mess, and your hair looking like you needed a seriously long shower.
"oh god you haven't done shit from the past two days- And- What on earth have you done to your room?!" She look arounds the small room made of pastel pink walls that had light scent of peony lingering over them, random black and white posters of artists and bands glued on those walls and your mess of a bed in middle of it all that had all your plushies and comic books lying around, leaving barely any space for a human body to rest, the lace curtains pulled over to block any ray of sunlight that could ruin your mood any further.
Your sister yelps while trying to make her way towards you as she almost trips over an empty can of coke that your forgot to dispose.
She manages to make it to you and stands besides your sitting figure before resting her hands on her hips and staring at you through your reflection as well.
"are you taking drugs?" she murmured.
"No!" that causes you to immediately snap your head towards her with big eyes.
She cocks a brow at you,
"Geez chill, clean you damn room up and come down to eat!"
She turns away and starts making her way back, pausing and picking up the pile of your bras from the floor, shaking her head and throwing them up your already messy bed before leaving your room.
"fuck.." you whine as you scratch your head and finally standing up from there, but you just end up pulling your phone from the nightstand and jumping to lay on your bed not caring about the kuromi plushies that were being squished under your weight.
Your mind takes you back to the evening from two days ago.
You walked up to Gojo and Utahime, interrupting whatever convo they were having.
You quietly walk up to them and Gojo notices you first while Utahime was telling him something,
Utahime turns her head noticing your presence,
then she turns to look back up at Gojo,
She raises a brow looking between you both
"Y/n? something wrong?" She asks,
She didn't think you were here for Gojo, She knew who you were though, the whole school knew the party animal ofc. But she had no idea you would have anything to do with the class nerd.
You quietly stare back at her,
what are you supposed to say? Should you just say you were here for your boyfriend? But what if Gojo gets annoyed because he was meaning to end it with you?
As hundreds of answers ran through your head and your mind was trying to choose the best answer, Satoru spoke up instead.
"She needs to borrow some of my extra notes. Exams are coming so its going to be necessary." Satoru speaks up, Utahime makes a face and looks at you,
"Ask me next time instead, I make better notes than him," She assured you causing Satoru to knit his brows at her
"Leave already" He says making her shrug and walk away.
She walks past you, leaving the both of you alone in the silent halls as the sounds of her footsteps fades farther away and the palms of your hand grow clammy again.
"You alright?"
Your head snaps up when Satoru's calm voice reaches your eardrums. The voice that has grown so much on you.
You turn towards him and fold your arms, looking down at your pumps as you mutter,
"where were you? you missed the class.."
He notices you looking agitated and responds in an assuring tone,
"I was assigned some work so it too way longer than i thought. Its fine there wasnt any issue"
Something about that annoys you,
maybe because you spent the entire 45 minutes fighting your the anxiety in your head, thinking that he was gonna break it off with you.
"Well you need the notes, i-" You shove your hand in your bag to pull out the notes you wrote, but he speaks up,
"Oh, don't worry about that. Utahime showed me the ones she wrote, i took the pics."
That makes you come to a full stop, as your brows knit together,
Your face snaps up at him,
He was staring back at you looking confused after noting the annoyed expression you had on.
"Don't worry i'll send them to you too along with the previous-"
You cut him off with a loud,
"Oh fuck this! i don't need any notes, fuck this shit!" You turn on your heels and stormed off.
This time Satoru definitely got the hint that something was wrong.
"Y/n!" He calls out for you with a growing frown and an even deeper growing confused expression on his face as he starts walking fast to catch up with you,
He didn't have any problem catching up with you thanks to his long legs.
He grabs you by the arms from behind and forces you to stop.
You tried pushing him, so he ended up pushing you instead against the wall, caging you between his arms
"Ugh, let me go!" You yelp, you wanted to bite your tongue down, you were feeling like your emotions were all over the place and you wanted to run away as far as possible before you mutter something wrong in this state that you might regret later.
"Calm down." Satoru gently voices while you try to wiggle out of his arms looking like a restless mad child.
"Y/n, calm down." He says again but in a much harsher tone causing you to finally stop at this point.
But you still didn't wanna look up at him.
He doesn't forces you to look up either, instead,
"Tell me, what's wrong?" he softly asks making you wanna further beat yourself for being the dramatic person that you are.
"I wanna go home." was your answer.
He blinks a couple of times,
"are you not well?" He asks, earning a shake of your head.
He finally sighs,
"Do you not feel comfortable telling me? We can go to the pharmacy and get you something if you aren't well right now. You should get something before it gets worst."
Your eyes get glossy by every passing second of you staring at the floor,
maybe it was a small thing, maybe whatever Satoru does for you is no big deal to some, maybe it is the bare minimum.
But you were someone who have never been lucky enough to get even that. So maybe that's why whatever Satoru did for you felt like a big deal.
And once again your head was filled with the big question mark of,
'What am i gonna do if he leaves me?'
Before Satoru could pull you out of your thoughts you finally shove his chest,
"I'm annoyed!" You were finally staring right at him,
His puzzled look was trying so hard to study you,
"Then tell me what's annoying you Y/N!" He finally was growing annoyed but still trying to keep his composure for you.
"You barely look at me when we are at school! You don't even try to lift your head from those damn books of yours to turn around and look at me! I feel like a fucking wall! I can chatter like a parrot all day as we sit and I barely manage to get a word or two out from you! It doesn't feel good Satoru!" You rant, a tear finally slipping out of your eyes.
Satoru watches with wide eyes and knitted brow but tries to move his hand up to wipe your cheek when he sees your tear run down,
"Don't touch me right now!" You yell and push his hand away,
He sighs and looks down for a second before lifting his head back up,
"Why are you suddenly so mad.. I told you, we have plenty of time to talk outside school-"
"Why??" you cut him off, your brows knitting as you bring your face closer to him.
"Are you embarrassed of being seen with me here !?" You finally speak out.
"What?? Of cour-"
You cut him off yet again,
"Hell, we don't even talk that much outside school either.. We don't do shit aside from fuck every now and than and stroll somewhere nearby when you feel like it."
You felt like the stop button of your mouth broke for good because at this point you were letting out everything that's coming in your mind straight out of your mouth
"Am I here to blow your steam?? Couldn't you find a nicer cunt than mine therefore you agreed to my childish proposal of going out so you couldn't give a fuck more than that because I'm just a dog barking as usual and following you around !? Can you try to make some sacrifices! Just tell me you don't want me around if I'm that annoying stop walking and treating me like a dog! Stop being so high on your pedestal, you might think so but I really am not a slut throwing myself at every moving body!"
You are breathing heavily,
He is watching,
Your eyes burning and legs growing colder every passing second, head filled with screams of regrets and embarrassment. You surely didn't mean to deliver the message that way, Sure you had a lot of problems to discuss with him but conveying your message this was was not on the plan.
Your vision gets blurry as you notice how his crystal eyes were surprisingly turning a darker hue of blue. Almost as if he looked thrown away, and so..
hurt.
oh god, you hurt him.
You both didn't move for a good minute or two.
Just staring at eachothers eyes,
one pair that was glossy while the other getting gloomier.
You still couldnt make up what was actually going in his genius brain but then he breaks the eye contact, pulling his backpack up on his shoulders he turns away from you and starts walking away without a word.
The way he walked away from anyone else.
You stand there frozen, not really thinking he would just blatantly walk away. He never walked away from you. Even when you first started sitting with him and being annoying.
Your stomach churned and heart throbbed in pain, you rather him cuss you out for being such a petty brat than not even bother saying a word to you.
Praying in your head he stop and turns back to take you with him,
Your eyes stayed glue at the hallway wall as you heard his footsteps eventually just fade away.
back to the present day,
you stared at your phone screen.
Staring at Satoru's name on the contact list, which was all the way down the bottom now being supported by no new notifications, your and his chatroom was shoved down by all the other random people who texted you.
He hasn't texted you anything for two days,
You were too afraid to even press his name on the contact list.
The silence he replied to you with from two days ago before the weekends started still booming and clawing at the walls of your head.
As you kept your eyes glued on Satoru and your messages a notification pops up.
Shoko:
"haven't seen you all weekend, just checking up on you"
You tiredly reply a "im good"
your message is instantly read and answered,
Shoko:
"its been so long y/n, the whole party misses you! I wont force you to go but there is a party at Geto's tonight"
You scrunch your nose remembering the pool party Choso was mentioning to you about in the hallways.
As soon as you were about to send a 'no',
you pause.
You'd be lying if you said that you didn't desperately needed to get your mind out off all the mess.
maybe you forgot the party animal you used to be when you got with Satoru. Maybe if you feel the thrill of it all over again you would realise how wrong you were, that Satoru really wasn't as addictive as you were thinking him to be.
and so,
you ended up agreeing to Shoko, making a mental note that you were heading there to prepare yourself for any sort of confrontation that Satoru and you might have in school tomorrow.
you were shaking your feet as you stared at the clock slowly striking 8:15,
sitting on your living room sofa ready in your lacy black mini dress and pink high platform heels. Hair done and spraying the most expensive perfume you could find in your closet. Just because you didn't attend a party in weeks doesn't mean you were gonna let go all your efforts of looking good.
But you were supposed to leave like fifteen minutes ago.
so why weren't you able to move?
Is it because its been so long?
"you haven't left yet?" your head turns to look at the raven haired woman in her pj shorts and random oversized shirt who was striding around the kitchen looking for something.
You shake your head noticing the notification from Shoko who was asking if you were going to be late.
"Is something going on?" You hear your sister's voice who stopped doing whatever she was doing and was standing next to you now.
"no.. im just.. second guessing"
you shrug
she furrows her brows, "you are really changing, that's a new. I haven't seen you be this way since ever."
you let her words sink in, and mutter,
"is that bad..?"
She nonchalantly shakes her head,
"i dont think so, you are about to go out and actually live a life in just few months anyways. you wont be in school anymore, me and mom wont be here 24/7 for you. i think its really good, like cmon, ive never seen you working on a fucking school assignment till 4am until a week ago. That's the time when you are out partying ignoring my calls of worries."
You remember the day she was talking about, your assignment was due that very day and Satoru didn't mind when you called him at 10 pm and he had to stay up all night that day to help you complete the assignment. You remember how tired his eyes looked the very next day, but he never complained. He said nothing even if it was your fault for keeping the work until last second.
You even got an A for that assignment, you've never gotten an A.
You were so excitedly tapping your foot on the floor that day when you received the grades, and it took everything in you to not hug Satoru in front of everyone right than and there. Satoru noticed that and let a small smile unconsciously slip past his lips as he continued taking his notes.
You remember screeching when the school got over and jumping on your boyfriend in the empty classroom,
and he held you without a word, he just smiled as he held you and you talked on and on about how happy you were.
and he just listened.
Your heart dully throbbing in pain when you recall the memories now,
You weren't mad at Satoru because he was a bad person,
but because being with him made you feel like a bad person.
You didn't want to accept that you might not deserve him and that somebody way better than you was out there for him.
You felt like it was better for you to just break up at this point than being together and hurting him from such a close distance.
"is it because of that boyfriend of yours?" your sister finally decides to bring it up
That causes your head to snap at her with big eyes
"what do you mean?"
"You didn't think nobody was going to notice that a random dude whose odd hair you can spot from miles away was dropping you everyday, did you?" she points,
"you are so stereotypical, cant normal friends walk eachother home??" you try to cover your secret anyway as you could,
"you both were literally making out for 10 minutes outside the entrance." She immidiately counter attacks on you.
That makes you shut up instantly.
"i never saw a guy drop you home, otherwise i wouldn't have even brought it up"
You sigh and bury your face in your hands. Your sister notices that and laughs,
"never thought you would be beating yourself over a nerdy guy like that out of all the guys I've seen you with."
you admit, "I didn't either."
"maybe that's good, you just have to try something different if the old ones don't work out. You have to step out from your comfort zone to find the things meant for you."
you wish it was that easy for you both who were in the opposite sides of the poles from each other to actually work out.
She walks away back to the kitchen but not before saying,
"and don't even think of staying back tonight, I'm kicking you out, my boyfriend will be here any minute and we agreed to let me have the house to myself."
and that's how you found yourself standing in front of another one of those big villas, you can hear the booming music and screams from where you stood.
Heaving a big sigh of frustration you twist and crack your hands and neck ready to not go back home anytime soon.
Trying to hold your big smile up you storm into the party, letting your hair flow through the cold winds of the night, not minding that you were wearing a sleeveless dress right now since you'd be covered in sweat from being in the middle of the roaring crowd in no time anyways.
You turn your head around every now and than to greet and wave back to the people who noticed and called for you,
some random people who you don't even remember running up to you and wrapping their arms around your shoulders.
The past you wouldn't have minded it and would've went along with the flow, but you wanted to shove the people aside right now.
However you refrain yourself from doing so, you didn't want to be a "bummer" like those people whom you used to refer to as 'party poppers' in the past.
You laugh along, acting fine and letting those people chattering around you guide you inside the house.
The surroundings around you slowly fades away to darkness, people's presence being illuminated by the several bright colors of spotlight that maniacally ran across the room. Your heartbeat growing louder from how hard the music was was beating through the air.
The huge villa was covered in tall white walls and windows, pine trees scattered around the big garden where you could see the big pool filled with floats of every shape glowing. You swore you saw a float shaped like a dick.
"Y/nnn, thank gawdd!" You see Shoko approach you in her bright red mini leather dress and high knee boots
"I thought you were gonna ditch me againnn" she whines, her eyes in the brink of shutting, You could smell the strong scent of alcohol everytime she tried muttering another word to you. You just arrived here and she was already out of it.
You decided that you were gonna let yourself loose and have so much fun tonight as well.
You weren't having an ounce of fun, the only thing you laughed at ever since you came here was when Shoko told you that she was so out of it that she thought Geto was her pet Doberman and tried kissing him as he started screaming and tried shaking her awake but she ended up throwing up all over him so he had left to change,
so now here she was, with you, trying to make you seem like a busy person in the party.
You were turning down anybody who came up to you and tried dragging you onto the dance floor, instead of loosing yourself tonight the music irritated your veins.
Shoko continued to slur some more of her 'fun' encounters that she had in the party during your absence while you nodded and your eyes continued lingering around the other moving bodies.
But your eyes suddenly halted its movements when you noticed the soothing color of night snow in midst of the crowd.
Your eyes got bigger,
the tall figure had his back faced, talking to some other people that you couldn't make out who due to how dark that side of the room was.
There was no way he was here.
How the fuck would he be here, he literally turned down all the parties you invited him to up until now and you always ended up ditching them along with him.
Why the hell would he suddenly be in one.
You were forcing yourself to look away when you noticed that the figure was about to turn around,
but its like someone had locked your gaze towards that direction, you weren't able to look away.
He turns around completely,
and your eyes caught his,
suddenly the loud booming of the music became dull in your ears and your vision became a bit more clearer, because you have no idea if you were biased, but he was standing out amongst the whole sea of people who filled this big space.
It was prolly the snowy white locks of his hair,
or his crystal blue eyes,
or the fact that he wasn't dressed anything like the Satoru you've been seeing this whole time.
Your boyfriend who was standing and staring back at you from the other end of the room wore a pair of loose black jeans, matched with a big leather jacket (you couldn't make out if the jacket was big or his frame was actually that buff, you would have no problem believing the later one), both the black fits contrasted by the oversized white jacket he wore underneath, and a small silver chain trailed around his neck.
He looked nothing like the nerd you saw everyday in school, or the guy in random sweats outside school, he looked more like the guy he showed you when you both were alone.
his white hair a bit parted and his glasses missing.
Any other day you would have stormed up to him to hide him because it felt illegal for him to be standing out in front of the whole world looking that fucking good.
But tonight your brows twitched, you grew annoyed at how you couldn't even walk up to him because what if he walked away from you like the other day, but this time in front of the whole crowd?? you were so fucking sure people will start chattering and you will be nothing but a an awkward figure of embarrassment.
You couldn't read his eyes, you never could.
That was just another reason that annoyed you,
what you did notice though was that he looked surprised to see you here, but definitely not as much as you were to see him.
You just forced your gaze to rip away from him and turn to face Shoko who was laughing at god knows what, she didn't even notice that you were focused on something other than her adventurous encounters. But you rather hear those than go near Satoru right now.
You grew way more awkward than when you came here since you knew now Satoru was here as well, you tried so hard to focus on Shoko's words but your heart wasn't letting you focus on any other presence in the room. It felt like you and Satoru were the only ones alone in this big room, no matter how loud it got.
You curse before turning your head to look at your side and quickly grabbing the cup of beer that was lying there since forever.
You chugged it down feeling the burning liquid prickle your throat but it was nothing compared to how much your chest was burning, tossing away the now empty cup you grab Shoko by the hand, and drag her away with you to leave the room because you doubt you will be able to otherwise focus on anything else other than the lingering gaze that was looming over you from across the room.
You took her all the way to the garden trying to not trip, you regretted wearing such high platform heels, they were way taller than what you would usually wear, but you just really didn't want them to be collecting dust. You gave up and wore them at the end with the mindset that if your ankles broke tonight then it was karma coming at you for being such an ass to your boyfriend, all the logical thinking had left your body in the last two days.
"What if i throw uph in the poolll" Shoko slurs as you shove her to lay down on the lawn chairs while you make your way to the pool,
"You aren't going to the pool, I am. And what you need, is sleep." You start unzipping your dress, stripping into your baby pink bikini.
You felt stares fall upon your figure but you didn't care since you weren't the only ones in so less clothing, literally half of the crowd here were in the verge of being fully naked.
Shoko whined but she shut up as soon as she started because her eyes gave out on her and now she had left to the wild dreamlands of her fever dreams.
you slowly stepped down the pool starring down at how it made your body glow.
You slowly swam around, at one point wondering if you should just drown here.
Shaking the thought away not wanting a whole case on Geto's hand you rose back up.
Taking a deep breathe as your pushed the wet locks of your hair back you didn't notice a figure approach you from the back.
You flinch and immediately turn to shove the person who suddenly wrapped their arms around your bare waist.
It was your last ex, of course.
The one who cheated on you, but you really didn't felt like crying that day because your short lived romance was anyways in the brink of fading into dust. But that didn't make him seem like a less of a jerk to you though.
You spent your good 10 minutes cussing him out and outing most of his dirty laundry in middle of the whole crowd of people watching your breakup unfold, just because you wanted to pull something funny and felt like he deserved it.
"I haven't seen you around in weeks" He speaks casually, leaning back against the half wall and slowly turning his gaze looking around for something interesting.
"you still stink, Naoya." You blatantly reply, shoving his hand away from your waist and folding your arms to leans your back on the half wall as well.
"glad to know your foul mouth is still healthy as ever" he laughs.
"shut up whore." you pass him a disgusted look, "what are you even doing here? no bitches willing to hold your dick?"
he sighs,
"saw none better than you here."
That makes you roll your eyes hard,
"I'm the dumbfck here trying to talk you here, bye" you try getting out of the pool but he immediately pulls you back by waist,
"you fuc-"
he cuts you off pulling you closer to him, your boobs pressed against his chest as his face is so fucking close to yours.
"you play so fucking hard doll, you've always been that way. why? is it fun to watch me yearn and long for you?" he whispers making your knit your brows farther wondering if he was drunk too.
"i bet you haven't found a dick big enough yet that can fit in every corner of your-"
you punch his nose,
nobody notices though since the party was that loud except two or three people who were closer to you, passing by the pool but they didn't seem to care, knowing that was just you being you,
"OW! the fuck!?" he immediately yelps shoving you away,
"you fucking bet i did whore, and if you want ill find some for you to ride as well!" You harshly splash the water at his face when he was just about to retract his palms back from his face earning another yelp from him.
You push yourself up from the pool, head feeling hotter than ever as you storm away to get your dress. you didn't even bother drying yourself, you just put your thin dress back on not giving a fuck about the way you just made the dry fabric completely drenched in a second as soon as it came in contact with the wet one.
You look down to take Shoko with you, but pause looking at her peacefully snoring state,
Shaking your head you walk back into the villa by yourself, unbothered about the trail of water you were leaving behind, but most of the people around you were doing the same. You feel horrible for whoever was cleaning this place up later.
As you mindlessly walked around pushing past people you felt your nose starting to burn, eyes becoming glossier.
You felt like a fucking mess.
So you pause, you don't take any steps further,
even if you were about to burst into tears right this instant here, nobody in this room would notice you.
Just as you were about to let a sob slip you feel someone trace your arm,
Your head snaps back to look at the tall brunette guy,
his doe eyes looks at you as he held a sweet smile on his face,
he didn't seem like a bad person, i mean you wouldn't know,
but he just gave off a good person vibe,
he looked drunk as well though.
But he didn't try groping you.
So you just stared at him, he was so out of it but he was waiting for you to join him and dance.
And you let every weight on your mind and shoulder fall down.
you were so tired.
You turn around fully to face him.
stepping closer to him he takes the hint and lets his hand fall down your hip, feeling the wet fabric under his palms he drunkenly blurts
"..is it raining here?" he questions innocently craning his head up to look at the ceiling.
That makes you laugh.
This one heartier than when you laughed at Shoko's story.
You keep your hands on his shoulders planning to start dancing,
but suddenly someone pulls one of your hand away from his shoulder.
Your nostrils filled with the familiar minty scent, you froze.
not wanting to look up, although the brunette guy was already staring at the person next to you both with a clueless expression.
"..am-am i interrupting something?" the brunette guy hiccups like a dumbhead when it was the other way around.
You couldn't even open your mouth, your lips suddenly felt so heavy and you still weren't turning your head to look at your side.
Your left hand still in his big warm ones.
"Y/n.." Satoru finally lets out in his low toned voice.
You didn't know if it was his presence or the insanely wet fabric on your skin that was making you slowly feel feverish
"Y/n.. please.. look at me.." He softly pleads,
something in his tone this time breaks your heart, crumbling ever so slowly you finally look up at him.
Satoru wasn't going to force you to go with him,
he wasn't going to force you to come with him if you didn't want to.
He instead kept all his faith on you, for you to choose him.
You stared at his face that looked a bit tired, his brows arched down as his eyes looked dull blue tonight, just like the other day.
Satoru looked sad,
You couldn't push him any further, it was painful,
you let go your other hand that was resting on the brunette's shoulder and he looked like he was conscious enough to let your hips go as well.
Satoru didn't seem to care how sweaty your hand was as he held them tight and turned around as soon as you let the brunette go like he was praying you chose him and didn't turn his time, taking long strides in his black converse he walks away, taking you with him,
he was holding tightly onto your hand, like you would leave as soon as he let it a bit loose, nobody noticed your small frame walking behind his big one that covered you up entirely.
You felt small once again.
You didn't notice that all the loud voices suddenly grew quite,
You hear the sound of door shut, and finally look around finding yourself in a big bedroom,
The room was spacious and interior clean, wood paneled walls decorated the four sides, only two long golden lights hanging from the ceiling leaving the room to look a bit dim, tall windows hidden behind the long beige curtains that were drawn over them, and a big canopy bed in middle of the bedroom.
Your head noted that it must be one of the spare rooms in here.
You felt a bit better as the light scent of vanilla and cashmere started to linger around you instead of all the sweat and mixed perfume of everyone in the crowd.
What you didn't like was however the silence that was eating you up now.
Satoru was still holding onto your hand.
You look up at him this time, and he turns his body towards you as well, not letting your hand go,
He notices you drenched from head to toe,
he didn't notice it before since it was way too dark in the room and he was too busy rushing to get you two out of there.
"Did someone push you in the pool??" He questions, worry laced in his tone,
you shake your head
"no, i was taking a swim.."
That makes his eyebrows knit further,
he sighs and pulls you to the bed,
making you sit down he finally lets go off your hand, walking away into the bathroom he comes back in seconds with a towel in his hand.
Satoru walks back up to you and gets on his knees in front of you, he wraps the towel over your head and starts rubbing the soft fabric against the locks of your wet hair.
you quietly look down at your lap, playing with your fingers.
He gently starts to dry you face and neck,
"Wait my makeup-"
"you can worry about that later" he heaves.
the more he dried your skin the more wet your eyes grew,
you felt your bottom lips quiver and you finally let out a weak,
"why are you going out with me?"
Satoru stops drying your skin and his gaze moves up to your face,
"you've grown on me y/n.." he says in a gentle tone as his hand moves up to caress your warm cheek.
"don't you wanna be with me anymore?" he questions,
patiently waiting for you to answer,
"i-" you start tearing up
"i wanna be with you so much, i wanna be by your side all time, I don't mind if I look like a dog running behind you, but you feel too good for me" you sob and he doesn't interrupt you, instead he continues to caress your cheek with his thumb, listening to your every word,
"I feel like if you actually decide to step out into the world you will notice people who are way better than me," you hiccup embarrassed at all the things you were confessing but he just quietly wipes your tears.
"you can do so much more than me- and a year ago I would have never guessed that ill be running my mouth like a parrot right now sobbing for you but who am I to know! I'm just an idiot who doesn't even have control over herself, I'm just insecure and scared that the world will realize how nice of guy you are, how kind your heart is and then they'll try to take you away, I even wrote down notes for you that day when you missed the class, and it is the most detailed notes I have ever made but its still no- "
"you made notes for me??" he finally cuts you off,
his curious eyes staring at you as you stop flinging your arms around from all the explanation and let out a small
"yes.."
He watches you finally go quite and he proceeds to cup your face, caressing your warm face as your nervous heart starts to slowly melt away when you see him softly smiling back at you.
"why would I have to go around caring to look for someone better if you are becoming better for me baby?"
that makes you slowly tear up again, you swore another thing Satoru has turned you into is a little crybaby.
This man just had that grip over you.
He engulfs you in his warm arms as you say
"sorry.. I really didn't mean any words that I said that day.. you looked so hurt.. I couldn't bring myself to face you.." you cry and his warm hug grows tighter as he rubs your head to calm you down,
"I'm sorry too.. shouldn't have left you there and walked away either" he says.
"i love you" you slip out,
that makes him pause,
he pulls his head back and looks at your eyes,
and questions,
"what?"
Your cheeks grow warm as you mumble,
"ugh I'm not saying it again, you heard me !"
you burry your head in his neck embarrassed.
"I didn't even hear you because of all the snot in your nose!" he defends.
"shut up, liar!" you smack his chest.
he heartily laughs before slowly smashing his lips against yours,
you immediately welcome him in your warm arms,
the rough texture of his lips softly crushing against your delicate ones.
his wet tongue slowly grazing against your warm ones,
Satoru swiftly pushes you up the soft bed and breaks the kiss, trailing his tongue down your chin, licking all the way to the side of your neck, slowly sinking his teeth into your warm skin making your moan and wrap your legs around him, pulling him closer,
running one of his hand down to your thigh, he gropes it before running them back all way up,
going further and further up under the wet fabric that was clinging onto your warm skin,
he pulls his face away slamming his lips on yours again after leaving a soft imprint of blur and purple on your neck, giving you a hard long peck before pulling away and taking his leather jacket off, pulling his white shirt over his head that causes his white locks to tousle before falling back to cover parts of his hooded eyes,
he grins down at you and whispers
"Why don't you start marking me up? so that whoever tries to take me away from you will know they can never be better than you?"
Your cheeks grow warm at that as he takes your hands and makes them rest on his firm chest
"c'mon baby, I want you to mark every inch of my skin.. wont you?" He smiles as you nod your head and trail your fingers over his soft pale skin,
But growing impatient he take a lock of your hair in his hand and shoves your face against his skin,
and you obediently lap it, before widening your mouth and sinking your teeth into his skin starting to suck on it
"suck it harder baby, take a mouthful of that skin" how else will they know I'm yours otherwise?"
You eagerly do as he tells you to, sucking a mouthful of his skin, leaving bitten bruises of blue and purple splattered across his pale chest as he watches your with a proud expression,
finally getting enough of it he flips your body, pushing the front of your body against the soft sheets he looks down at your figure with his hooded eyes,
releasing soft breathy pants through his parted lips as he pulls your thighs up so your back arches and your big plump ass was in his clear view,
he looked drunk,
but he swore he didn't have even an ounce of liquid ever since he entered the villa.
well of course you had to make up for how thirsty he was though,
He knit his brows, he felt hornier than usual he had to admit,
was two days of not having his face buried between your boobs and having you whining against his lap when you both were alone making him this desperate?
He could feel his thick cock grow painfully angry every second inside his boxers. The tight waist of his jeans bringing not even a little comfort.
"toru.." you whine, pushing your ass further back, bringing it closer to his face,
he grunts,
"yes baby.." he starts to quickly unbutton and pull the zip of his pants down. Shoving his hand in his boxers as he stares at the thin wet fabric of your bikini cover your ass,
he pulls his dick out, sighing as soon as some feeling of relief washes through his veins.
And quickly he pushes your thighs together, pulling down the bottoms of your bikini revealing your wet ass cheeks that had slick run down from your gaping and pulsing cunt.
He pushes his face in your ass, kissing and making out with your drooling hole before he plunges his tongue in, caressing the gummy walls of your insides as your cry loud and feel literal tremors run down your hips from the way he was easing the bundle of your nerves, pushing his hand up to messily rub and pinch your clit, holding the hard shell of your core in his palm as he massages it. Eyes sealed from feeling pure bliss, his nose buried against your puffy cheeks intoxicated by the strong smell of your inside,
his burning cock so fucking hard as it pulsated and released precum every passing second, he wanted you to stop him and grab his cock, for you to tell him to shut the fuck up and take his cock in your hand and shove it in your tight cunt.
But at the same time he wanted you to stay patient and let his hungry self eat,
No alcohol induced body in the room could compare to how pussydrunk your boyfriend was right now.
"Toru- Fuck! need your cock! please.." you whine trying to pull your ass away which was so tightly in the hold of his big palms,
He sucks hard, feeling the warm liquid of your insides gush down his tongue everytime he tried moving it deeper in your depths.
You felt your walls painfully tighten as you tried pushing him away but he just slaps your hand and buries his face harder,
"you love me baby?" he grunts as he slowly lets go your thighs finally and takes his hot sticky length in his palm
"love you toru.. so much" you mewl,
you get pushed up as he plunges his heavy girthy length into your warmth, immediately burying his face in your neck and hugging you tight from behind as he lets out a soft cry,
You could tell he was extra sensitive than usual today, you loved it so much,
you would like to believe it was the extra effect of you finally showing to him that your love for him was so important to you and how much you appreciated the way he took care of you,
His lips brushes up against the shell of your ear, biting it as you feel him grow thicker inside you, he held you so close, feeling his face grow warmer feeling the sensation of the way you both were connected down there. The skin of your bare asscheeks feeling the prickly trail of his snowy white hair down there
"I love you y/n" he cries as you feel his girth throb hard, your walls instantly clenching around him earning another moan from his throat.
you feel your cheeks grow warmer and the corner of your eyes start getting wet,
he brings his lips even closer to your ears and licks the lobe of your ear, trailing his right hand up and pulling your hands which was gripping the sheets so that he can intertwine his fingers with yours,
you cry as his other free hand goes down between your legs and roughly runs his fingers over your clit and through your folds.
Tears escape your eyes and Satoru kisses them clean,
"I love you baby, love you so much.. i-i only want you with me baby.. lets just love eachother.. hm?" he whispers, cradling you in his arms as he presses another kiss on your cheek, moving his head down and sucking the skin of your neck which was layered in thin sheet of sweat as he thrusts his hips hard, you both cry into eachothers warmth as you feel him start to penetrate your throbbing cunt balls deep, giving you strong yet long slow thrusts.
"love you toruu.." you moan and he kisses your lips, holding you so close to him,
"love you my baby... love you so much"
"ok soo.. i know i said they are the most detailed notes that I've ever made but I'm pretty sure I missed a couple of lines because I was too worried and zoning out every now and than thinking where you were yk."
He stares at you, raising a brow the more you spoke,
"so like we might still need the ones Utahime gave you." You smile at him innocently, tucking your chin on your hands, which were resting over his bare broad chest.
before he could respond the door flies open making you yelp and Satoru quickly wraps his arms around your frame to cover you up although thankfully you had already pulled the duvets up to your chest.
You and Satoru stare at the doorframe mortified,
another pair of mortified expressions looking back at you both,
Geto and Choso stood there with his jaw slacked open.
"The hell, did you not lock the door!?" you suddenly questioned Satoru who looks at you equally shocked.
"i did! You know I'm not that careless!"
before you could reply Geto spoke up
"Uh- I used my spare keys."
You and Satoru rolled eyes at that.
Choso screams "You are sleeping with that nerd!? You don't even answer my texts!"
its been a few weeks since,
You found out you weren't the only popular kid close to Satoru, Geto and him were close too.
You had no idea how you managed to never know an info like that, when asked he said he didn't think of it as a necessary information.
and turns out Utahime and Gojo really weren't on that good terms,
Utahime was whispering string of unimaginable profanities at him that day while Satoru was mockingly laughing at her and pissing her off even further.
You really are bad at reading situations guess.
nothing much has really changed since,
except, after Choso and Geto promised you both to keep your secret safe somehow ever so mysteriously the rumors of you and Satoru dating started to spread.
And it got confirmed when you just decided to stand up from your seat during lunch one day and sit down on your boyfriend's thick thighs like it was your birthright, you couldn't help it. They looked so thick and seatable.
The entire class stopped doing whatever they were doing and the room erupted in buzzing murmurs,
Satoru paused chewing on his food, surprised at your sudden move,
but he didn't push you off or anything.
Instead he proceeded to wrap his arm around your waist to keep you steady and peck our cheek before calmly picking up his chopsticks back again and continuing to eat.
That made you dramatically squeal and kick your feet as you watched the shell of his ear turn a very light shade of pink.
What a cute nerdy boyfriend you've got yourself who treats you like his literal princess <3
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☆ — REBLOGS ARE APPRECITED !
(my hand hurts)
taglist: @ritsatoru @waka-babe
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chososluv · 11 months
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P L U G ! C H O S O
✎₊˚⊹♡ summary: part 2 of PLUG!CHOSO because i love this pair so much (๑>◡&lt;๑)~♡ ✎〰  word count: 3.1k
🏷 tags/warnings: fem!reader, reader has a vagina, weed dealer choso, reader is a big brat here!, choso gets kinda mean, brat!tamer choso, black coded, choso spending racks on youuuu, messy oral (male receiving), choso is whipped and back at it with his big size (height and cock) creaming, squirting, cervix hitting, deep throating, spanking, you cry a lil bc its so good, petnames and praises (ma, mamas), she's kinda proofread but subject to edit at any moment!
⋆🎧✮⋆mini playlist: ⤷ all mine - brent faiyaz ⤷ moonlight - kali uchis ⤷ on my mama - victoria monet ⤷ venus - dpr live
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Plug!Choso and you blossom into a serious relationship. The man is committed to you and you knew how badly you had him wrapped around your finger. He would do anything for you at a drop of a dime if that meant your happiness in return, regardless whatever that meant from him. He didn't care. He always put you first.
Plug!Choso who sometimes has to put your spoiled ass in your place. He actually enjoys it and It wasn't like you didn't like it either, sometimes you pushed his buttons to see how much you could get away with before he had you sucking his cock or bent over the sink like a whore. You personally loved when you got to suck his cock as an apology, something about the weight of him on your tongue left you drunk and in a daze. . .
Which speaking of . . .
"Awh — you know how to make it up to me so good, ma." Choso moans, holding your hair back from your face. The sleek silk press you had gotten done made your hair bone straight for a change. Your attitude changed the moment you stepped out the salon chair, acting brand new and that's when you started testing Choso. He saw the way you stared at yourself longer in the mirror and tossed your hair extra dramatically as the day went on. Choso found it cute until that mouth of your started. Your mouth is what got you stuffed full of his cock in the first place.
It started when you went shopping after getting your hair done. You hadn't seen Choso in a while because between you working and with him "handling business," you rarely saw one another. Texts were becoming not enough for you and you just missed your man so bad. It got to the point where you only heard him a few times a day and that's when you began to really miss him. When he finally was finished and free from being tied up with business trips, he came back to you immediately. He was making it up to you by taking you on this shopping spree, but you couldn’t care less. You wanted to feel his girth on your tongue again, but you also wanted him to pay for leaving you alone all those weeks.
So, you decided to be an absolute brat.
Plug!Choso doesn't see it at first. He thought you were genuinely being moody with him until he noticed the longing stares and soft brushes against him. He realized then what game you were playing. He didn't mind though, he only ignored it until that mouth of yours started at the Prada store.
You had a pair of pumps on, staring at your feet in the mirror and you look over at Choso. You stared at him, seeing him consumed in his phone and you let yourself get annoyed. The one time he was not paying attention to you, and you rolled your eyes with a scoff. Choso looked up, seeing that nasty look on your face and he only raised an eyebrow.
"What's wrong?"
"Back on your phone again I see." You said snarkily and he clenched his jaw at your antics. You only turned around, humming nonchalantly before walking back to the shoe bench. Choso got up to follow you and he dropped to your feet before you can sit down. Even though you had just royally pissed him off, he was still being a gentlemen and tended to your needs. You bit your lip, feeling bad for snapping on him but you knew it was part of your game. He gently helped you out of the shoes before placing on another pair that he picked out for you. Delicately securing the straps, he stood up and loomed over you then he spoke.
"You may be my shawty but don't let that fucking mouth get you in trouble." He warned ever so silently so only you could hear. You gulped, pussy twitching at his threat but you stood your ground. You looked at him up and down before sneering.
"Whatever." You rolled your eyes before looking down at your feet, shoes grabbing your attention. You walked over to the mirror, ignoring the glare you feel in the back of your head from Choso. You looked at your feet once more, inspecting the platform heel and deciding on which shoe you were going to get. You walked back over to the bench and Choso is already ready to peel the shoe off of you. He's still pissed, but he tried to hide his grin when you informed him that you were going with his pick over your own.
Plug!Choso who spent thousands of dollars on you despite being furious because he loves spoiling you. You two left the mall with multiple bags — Choso carried them all — and it safe to say you two had a successful shopping day. You two barely said a word to one another, sensing he's still mad about your attitude the whole day but you had your stomach in a knot ready for the repercussions when you two got home.
"You been a brat to me all fucking day." Plug!Choso would say after you two got settled in the bedroom. You were putting your shoes away before taking off your earrings as he griped at you and you rolled your eyes. You don't say anything and you place your earrings on your vanity. He scowled at you, seeing you rolled your eyes at him yet again and he only grinded his teeth together.
"Y/N." He cautioned to you in tone that rendered a warning yet again. You looked up from your vanity and to him, trying to muster sneer but you went blank when you saw the look on his face. You felt your lower belly tremble and spine tingle at that look he gave.
"Choso." You only tried to continue your facade but you were moments from breaking. Choso saw right through you the moment you had your stunt in the Prada store. You were testing him intentionally and he knew you only acted like this when you needed reminding of who you were actually fucking with.
And lucky for you he'd remind you all fucking night long.
"Do I need to remind you who fucking owns that pussy?" Choso exhaled from the blunt and you bite your lip. Your feel goosebumps up and down your arms and before you can stop yourself you're nodding.
"Maybe." You said.
"Fucking brat." Choso growled before getting up from the bed. He walked over to you, grabbing your face with one hand while the other held onto the blunt. He brought it to his mouth, inhaling as he watched your eyes glaze over with lust and a hint of submission. Your lips were so pouty and glossy, so pretty he almost forgot he was irate.
Keyword almost.
"Cho—" He exhaled and cut you off.
"Nah, don’t ‘Cho' me. you been acting like a brat all day because you want me to fuck you?" Choso's tone was fed up, "Use that pretty mouth of yours that's been mean all fucking day and ask." Oh he's really mad and your stomach is doing flip flops. You feel breathless and know there's an incoming pool of arousal about to drench your panties.
"Cho, please." He curtly inhaled and exhaled.
"Please what?" He glared at you and ran a thumb across your bottom lip. You fight the urge to close your mouth around it and suck.
"Remind me who owns this pussy." You beg, hands reaching out to grab at the gray sweats he changed into. Your fingers were undoing the strings eagerly. He smirked, inhaling from the blunt one last time before ashing it. He decided you're worth his attention and he releases your face from his hold. You missed the warmth from his hands as he walked over to the edge of the bed before pulling his cock out. He sits down, stroking the semi-hard length and causing your mouth to water. You bit your lip as he beckoned you over.
"Come put that mean ass mouth to work first."
And that's how you ended up sucking his cock as an apology.
His length is so filling to have in your mouth. The weight of it, the pretty tip, the soft musk of him, you love everything about having his cock in your mouth. Not to mention the cussing and soft moans that left his mouth above you. You look up, seeing him chewing on his bottom lip. His nose is scrunched up and it highlights those piercings you just adore on him. His pretty nose ring, and now the recently added septum ring you convinced him to get along with you one day. Couple's piercings! You proclaimed, followed with that he would be hot with it along with his nose ring. However you were wrong.
He's so fucking handsome with it.
And with his hair growing out, it frames his face beautifully. He was an adonis falling apart at your own mouth and will. You continue sucking around him, soft hands massaging his balls too and his thighs twitch. He moans, hand pushing on your head as his hips bucked up. You gag around him, rubbing your thighs together as you took more of him in you. Your nose is touching his pelvis and he curses. You continue your apology, releasing him from your mouth after holding him snug in your throat. You gasp, soft giggle occuring. A string of spit connects from Choso's tip to your lips and you bring a finger to your lips, taking the lewd line and lining it with your palm. You take that same palm and wrap it around Choso's length. With your wet hand, you jerk it, finding oxygen in your lungs after recovering from that explicit deep throat. You eye at your work, tip angry red and vein on the underside growing thick.
Your cunt clenched around nothing as you moaned at the sight. You take your bottom lip between your teeth, looking up at Choso who stares at you with hooded eyes. His breathing is ragged as he slowly continues to chase after his high.
"Fuck, mama making me almost forget what I was mad at you for." He chuckles, then sighing at the sound of you giggling from between his legs. His praise makes you learn forward, kissing his tip and then tucking him back in your mouth. You suckle, feeling a pebble of cum trickle down your throat. You remove your mouth after swallowing.
"You taste so good." You moan, looking as you tap the head of his cock against your bottom lip. He moans, eyebrows scrunching as his grip tightens on your hair. He watches you kiss on his tip before opening your mouth. You slide your lips down, looking at him through your eyelashes as you continue to take more of him in your mouth.
"Fuck, y/n." Choso moans, hips bucking up as more precum dribbles out and mixes with your saliva. You hum around his shaft, tongue swirling as you lick along the underside. The fat vein is beating against your tongue and you moan at the feeling, cunt continuing to clench around nothing. You're bobbing your head, hand covering what you couldn't as he continued to curse and fuck your mouth. You remove your mouth after a few seconds, gasping for air, and jerking Choso softly in your hand. You lean down, kissing the underside before sinking down to spit noisily. The liquid landed on his balls and you brought a hand down to massage it in. He groans, hand pulling on your hair at the sensation and you remove your hand to replace it with your plush lips, suckling on his balls salaciously. You savor his musk and taste on your tongue before traveling from his balls back to his shaft and to the tip. You look at Choso, watching him watch your every move.
Nothing prepared him for what you were about to do.
You filthily gathered the spit and cum in your mouth, making Choso watch it fall tantalizingly slow from your lips to the tip. The mixture landing on his slit and your mouth chasing after it, warm mouth back on his cock. You swirl the mixture around your tongue and his shaft, moaning around him. Choso doesn't bother to fight the moan that leaves his lips. He decided enough was enough before he came down your throat.
"Shit," He pulls you off of him by your hair. You moan, letting his cock fall out your mouth and saliva running all down your chin. You look up at him with a fucked out grin, "you done being a brat, baby?"
"Yeah, Cho." You smile, reaching forward to kiss the underside of his dick and he hisses. He tenderly caresses your cheek before speaking.
"Get up here and put this pussy on me."
Plug!Choso who ends up taking you doggy. You're whimpering as his fat cock hits those spots you desperately craved to be touched these past two weeks. Each time he's entering you, you're moaning lewdly and chanting desperate pleas and praises. You're struggling to form words and between moans you're gasping, breathless inhales from each primal stroke from Choso. He is groaning and slapping his broad hands over your ass to earn cries from you each time.
"Cho—So!" You're whimpering, sliding into a slutty arch and he curses, slapping your ass yet again. Your pretty skin starts to manifest a crimson palm print.
"Fucking sexy as fuck with that arch, mama. Keep that shit for me." He presses a hand into your shoulder blade, helping you maintain it as he continues to pound into you. Tears are forming at your ducts at how good he is fucking you. You needed this for weeks and you were finally feeling it. That tingle in your stomach was increasing and you felt it traveling to the walls of your cunt.
"So big, baby I'm gonna—” You can't even finish your words and you're spraying messily all over him, yourself, and the sheets. He pulls out, rubbing a thick fingers over your cunt and continuing to milk you dry as you cry into the pillow. Your thighs are shaking pitifully but Choso doesn't stop. He only slides his cock right back in and you to let out a scream.
“Yeah," he's chuckling at you, "tell me how good I’m breaking this mean ass pussy.” Choso taunts, slapping your ass cheek yet again and the sting is rampant and so raw. Those tears from your eyes spill and you’re sighing in pleasure when his tip kisses those spots in you again.
“Choso, I’m so sorry.” You whimper and his broad frame leaning over you. He sees the tears running down your face and he moves a hand to catch them. His warm fingers wipe the tears away and he smiles tenderly at you for the first time since fucking. Your stomach flutters with butterflies when you see that soft dom side emerge. How could he not change the pace when his pretty baby was so pitifully ruined? He wanted to scoop you up in his arms right then and there.
“Awh, baby I forgive you,” Choso leans down, bringing his lips to your ear, “did I fuck that stank ass attitude away?” Choso voice sent tingles down your spine and he feels you clench around him at his words. He rolls his hips against your ass and you nod.
“Yes, Cho.” You whimper. He smiles, leaning down to kiss your cheek.
“Good, turn over and let me see that pretty face cum.”
Plug!Choso is so in love with you. He’s on his hunches, holding your waist off the bed as he pistons into you. The brute curve of his dick hitting that tender spot causes you to continue to be consumed with pleasure. Instead of tears, there was a fucked out look of pleasure on your face. He soaks in the sight of you sporting a dumb smile.
"Cho—so big I'm gonna cum." Between his mean words earlier, you sucking on his cock, and his immaculate stroke game, you were seconds away from entering that abyss of euphoria. It wasn't a surprise to him at all. He knew this was something you had anticipated all day -- to be fucked stupid by him. Choso only smiles, continuing to fuck deep into you.
"I know mama that pussy so creamy and tight around me." Choso says, seeing the creamy ring around his cock. Not only that, but your pussy clung to him everytime he tried to leave, not wanting to be void of his thick presence and attempting to entice him to stay. If he could, he would live the rest of his life between your plush thighs and hot, wet walls. His cock only seemed to be made for the way you were shaped and he fought cumming deep in you at the way your walls pulsed around him.
"Cho — cumming!" You cum, the feeling sneaking up on you before you knew it. You threw your back into an arch, wailing as the last batch of tears escape your eyes. You submit, allowing the bliss overtake your body and hijack your senses. Succumbing, your pussy squirts and it catches Choso's attention. He also sees your hardened nipples and pretty orgasm face and he allows himself to join you. He moans, letting his cock swell before pumping you full of his cum he'd been saving for you. You sigh, shuddering as you try to find yourself out of the white hot tension as Choso lays on top of you. His warmth shields you from all things negative and you mewl, burying your face into the crook of his neck. He chuckles sleepily before kissing your shoulder.
"You good, ma?" He asks and and you hum, locking your legs around him to keep his cock in you as you rejoin reality. You feel him softly twitch inside you.
"Mhmm, just hold me, Cho." You dramatically sigh, placing your face back in the crock of his neck and he only laughs. He kisses your shoulder yet again, causing you to sigh and relax fully in his arms. He smiles against your skin and continues to hold you till your thighs stopped shaking.
"I love you and your bratty ass you know that?" Choso says after you two cleaned up. You're curled into him, head on his comforting chest as he smokes the blunt from earlier. You hum, in a post sex daze that solely begs for a nap. You feel your eyelids growing heavy against your will and you only snuggle closer into him.
"I love you and when you put me in my place. So good." You say as exhaustion takes over all your senses and you yawn. Your mind falls blank, eyes shutting, but you hear Choso's next words loud and clear.
"And don't you forget it either, ma."
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©chososluv ╰┈┈➤Plug!Choso ╰┈┈➤MASTERLIST!
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harksness · 2 months
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Heaven
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A/N: RAAAAH i'm so painfully horny for this woman isjbfaisubg this request was EXACTLY something i wanted to write after coming back from my long ass hiatus, but it was already getting so long i only fulfilled most of the request i'm sorry :( i want to get more practice writing again before ms. mommy agatha's show comes out so i'm planning on coming back and doing the throat fucking part of it after i complete a few of my other requests... just in its own lil mini fic i hope thats ok but yeah! i'm a lil rusty bcs it's been so long, i rly hope everyone likes it <3
the request
Warnings: Mommy kink, dom! Agatha, sub! Reader. Lil bit of a breeding kink, magical strap, magic being used for sex, praise, pure smut
WC: 3.4k
Agatha has two fingers deep in your mouth. Pressing lightly on your tongue, dragging in and out as she fucks into you, your eyes fluttering shut with each slide back in along your tongue. Your cheeks cave to try and suck her long, slender digits back into your mouth, desperate to keep her inside of you in any way you possibly can.
“Mmm.. Such a good girl for Mommy… You love it when I fuck your mouth, hm?”
Her voice is gravely, a depraved grin of desire wide on her features. You whimper out a pathetic sound around her fingers, feeling a bit of drool slip past your lips and trail down your chin.
Your chest is heaving. She’s already played with you, used you thoroughly, and you still want more from her. You don’t understand the effect she has on you, how she does it, but no matter how much she satisfies you, you’re always desperate for more of her. More of her attention, more of her love, more of her mouth and fingers..
Looking up at her through your lashes, her wild hair hangs in her features, making her look crazy. She bites into her bottom lip, still grinning. You let out the most desperate moan around her fingers as she presses herself down and starts grinding her bare, wet cunt against your naked thigh.
“Fuck.. I love it when you get messy for me.”
She breathes the words out hotly.. You can feel how soaked she is against your skin and it only turns you on more as you begin to slightly rock your hips up into her.
“Can you be a good girl and take another finger?”
Agatha asks so sweetly, pretty blue eyes full of love and affection as she fixes them onto your mouth. You don’t even have to process what she asked to obey- doing whatever Agatha wants of you is programmed into every fiber of your being. You’d move the moon if she asked.
You open your mouth to form a wide O. Immediately she takes advantage of the opportunity you’ve given her, dragging out her previous two fingers to run along your bottom lip tenderly for a moment before sliding three of them back into your mouth, back along your lip until they’re knuckle deep. You immediately begin to suck on her long fingers.
She grinds harder against your thigh, and you let out a loud moan that’s muffled by her three fingers slowly fucking into your mouth. Agatha ghosts her lips against your ear, breathing out her next words hotly.
“I want to know what it’s like to feel your sweet mouth wrapped around me..”
She’s breathless. Her movements against your thigh quickens as she lets out a short gasp of pleasure. You feel yourself getting more wet as you realize what she means.
“Wanna feel..”
Her breath hitches. You let out a pathetic noise as the rolling of her hips against your skin becomes more frantic.
“God.. Wanna know what it’s like to feel your messy cunt.. Wanna know what it’s like to fill you up, and watch my love drip out of you.. Make you all mine.. Just mine..”
You let out a needy groan around her fingers, nodding desperately as you try to convey just how badly you want it too.
Agatha stops her movements. Dread drops into your gut. She was close. You wanted to feel her cum on your thigh so badly… But she leaves you little time to mourn as her fingers slip out of your mouth. 
The older woman wraps her fingers around your jaw, steadying your lolling head to look right up at her. She smears your spit onto your cheek. You need to blink a few times to focus your vision, but there she is, icy blue gaze hot on your features, mouth quirked downward in a serious manner. Her hair is so knotted and messy, hanging right over her breasts and covering the sides of her face as she addresses you.
“What if I had a real, feeling cock, baby? Would you let me use it on you however I want?”
Agatha purrs, a smirk etching onto her features as she runs a hand up your chest. You frantically nod, racing to answer any of her questions as quickly as possible.
“Oh my god, yes..”
You moan and she’s grinning as she moves off of your leg, positioning herself between them instead. Her hands hook behind your knees, pulling you so that you’re laying flat on your back. You let out a gentle yelp of surprise before she leans down towards you, her breath fanning over your lips.
“Would you let me fuck your pretty mouth until you couldn’t speak?”
She softly traces her pointer finger along your wet lips to accent her hypothetical question. Well.. Hopefully it won't stay hypothetical.
Her voice is low. Immediately you nod your head. She’s got a mischievous, sensual look to her features now as her blue eyes hang half lidded with lust.
“Would you… Let me use your sweet pussy however I want?”
Agatha’s lips grow into a coy smirk, softly brushing her nose against yours as her voice lowers even more with each question.
“Oh absolutely…”
You breathe out, desperately trying not to rub your thighs together. Her hair tickles your chest just slightly, one of her hands still firmly gripping into the soft skin around your knee as the other holds her balance as it rests on the bed.
“Would you let me cum deep in you… Fill you up so much that your cute little hole starts dripping, hm? Let me fuck it back into you and fill you up again, and again?”
A pathetic whimper escapes your throat as you throw your head back..
“Oh, Mommy, please… I wanna feel you.. Want you to fill up my pussy, please- Oooh!”
You gasp, snapping your head forward. Excitement bubbles in your chest, heat rising through your abdomen as you see what’s between her legs. And yours.
Warm, purple magic dulls from her hand as she finishes conjuring up what she needs. You bite your lip as you notice the thick, long, purple cock planted between her legs. It’s strange not seeing it attached to a harness. Instead it’s connected between her legs, you assume to her most sensitive spots…
The tip is between your wet folds, pushing them apart as she begins to experimentally drag herself through you.
“Oooh.. Baby, you feel absolutely divine…"
She lets out a deep moan, eyes locked between your legs. Agatha leans back so that she’s resting on her knees between your parted thighs. You let out little gasps of pleasure as she experiments with you, controlling the tip of her cock as she drags it through your wet folds, up and down, before she begins toying with you a little more..
Her wild hair hides most of her face from view, dangling as a curtain in front of her beautiful features. But once in a while you catch a glimpse of her knotted brows and her teeth pinching her bottom lip, entranced and entirely focused as she toys with you. 
Agatha slowly drags the tip further up.. Catching your clit. You let out a deranged moan as she rubs firm, slow circles against your sensitive nub, fisting the sheets as your chest rises and falls rapidly.
Agatha wraps a hand around your hip, guiding the tip of her cock back down as she readjusts your legs. You hold them apart for her, desperate for whatever she’s willing to give as she spreads you wide. You hold your breath in anticipation as she presses in gently.. It softly slides into you with ease. You let out a sigh of relief at the little bit of delicious stretch you’re granted as her tip parts your sopping folds. But she does no more than the tip.
The older woman throws her head back, letting out a long moan as you feel her fingers bite into your hip.
“Haaa… Oh baby.. So, so good..”
She babbles, her low, frantically horny voice makes you desperate to touch yourself. Even though it feels as if every inch of your body is on fire, so desperate for her to move, to fuck you, to touch you more, to get anything more from her, you stay still. Determined to be obedient and please Agatha, you focus on your breathing and twisting your fingers in the sheets.
You let out a pained groan, so desperate for more as she drags her cock back up to your clit, nails biting into your hip deliciously. She repeats the action several more times, gaze locked on where the two of you are joined. From your clit, to teasing your entrance, and back again. Repeat, over and over. It’s driving you mad.. The low, breathy moans she lets pass through her lips rather consistently aren't helping, either. You’re unable to stop your squirming and desperate noises, they're just growing and getting worse with your building arousal. Eventually you can’t help but start outwardly pleading for more.
“Please.. I want you.. I’ve been such a good girl for you, Mommy, please..”
You babble, and she looks up at you. You know she loves seeing your wrecked face. She sticks out her bottom lip, feigning pity as she coos at your pathetic sniffles. Agatha leans over you, taking your jaw in her hands, peppering kisses all over your features.
“You’re right, baby.. I’m so sorry. You’re just so perfect for me, I want to make this last forever. I want to etch the way your perfect cunt feels into my memory..”
Her words are dripping with sweetness as she kisses the corners of your lips.
“Feels so good.. Please, Mommy, more?”
It comes out as a question when you don’t really mean it to. Your mind is just so hazy from all the teasing, you can barely keep yourself together. Agatha smiles at you, overflowing with joy at your wrecked state as she starts to trail soft kisses across your jaw and down your neck.
“Anything for my good girl.”
She purrs against your skin, and then heaven.
Slowly, oh so slowly, she pushes in. Adjusting your legs, and planting one hand firmly back onto your hip as she does so. There’s no resistance, only warm, perfect euphoria as inch by delicious inch she slides into you and the stretch feels so good. You babble to her, telling her how good it feels as you let out a long moan, every part of her magical cock against the walls of your cunt making you feel electric with pleasure.
Agatha’s jaw is stiff, lips hung open. Her eyes are clenched shut, shoulders heaving with her heavy breaths as she feels you take her. She lets out a long moan.
“Oh, angel.. You feel like heaven..”
She hums as she pushes the last bit into you. Lidded blue eyes meet with yours as her hips press flush against your own. You whimper and moan, squirming beneath her as you try to ground yourself somehow, finding it impossible to do.
“Mommy..”
You gargle out pathetically, and she shushes you.
“Oh baby, I know, I know.. You’re being so good for me, my lovely girl..”
Agatha coos at you, eyebrows creased with affection as she pulls her long hair over one shoulder. She knows how much you love it when her hair is down- easily being able to pull on it, or run your fingers through her smooth brown locks is one of your favorite things to do while she fucks you. It’s so hard for you not to lean up and start toying with it as you wait for her to move.
She plants one hand on the mattress by your head, leaning over you, and you could start drooling from how good she looks. She adjusts your legs and you allow her to move you however she pleases, spreading them open once again as she comfortingly rubs at your thigh. 
Her hair drapes over her shoulder, tickling the side of your chest just a bit. Her perfect breasts hang in your face, and you have to grab the blankets harder to resist the urge to take them in your hands to lovingly worship. The long expanse of soft, pale skin along her chest and stomach are so tempting for you to run your hands along- you want to trace your fingers over every scar, every freckle and mole. Her pretty face is set on you. God, your heart stutters in your chest as you look at her- thick eyebrows set in concentration, beautiful blue eyes eating up the way you look underneath her, and her perfect pink lips set in a slight smile.
She quirks a teasing eyebrow down at you.
“You can touch, sweet thing.”
Agatha sounds oh so amused when she says those words.
You whisper out quick, appreciative thanks as you raise your hands and immediately start smoothing them over her breasts. You paw at them gently, running your thumbs over the plush skin, moving your hands to run your thumb over her soft pink nipples. 
“Look up at me… Focus those pretty eyes on me…”
Her words are controlled and breathy as she tries to keep her composure.
You listen right away. You’re sure you look like a ruined, sloppy mess all for her. 
And you know she absolutely loves it.
She begins rocking her hips, not pulling out. Just rocking, and grinding into you as you toy with her chest. Agatha's enjoying the feeling of you wrapped around her, loving the warm, wet friction. She hums softly whenever you run your fingers along her nipples the way she likes… She tilts her head back and moans loudly, her lips dropped open and eyes rolling shut. She looks so beautiful, absolutely unreal.
“Such a good cunt, baby..”
Agatha groans, continuing to rock into you. You moan pathetically, feeling her slip out just a little bit now. She starts to thrust into you, short and shallow as if she can't stand not being buried in your pussy. You clench around her, whimpering a bit, and immediately you flush in embarrassment when you hear the wet noises sounding from where the two of you are joined. 
You drop your hands, enjoying watching her breasts move with each of her desperate thrusts. Her grip on you is a vice, nails digging into the plush of your ass and your hip from where her hand is wrapped around you as she urges your legs up.
You fold them around her nimble hips, locking your ankles together high up on her back. She drops down onto her forearm, letting you wrap your arms around her back, whining appreciatively as you run your hands over her soft, damp skin.
“Sweetheart, you feel so good..”
Agatha mumbles, her voice hazed over with pleasure as she ruts into you, moving just a bit faster. Your moans are broken, hoarse and wild, barely able to push them past your lips at this point. You let out a pathetic whine once again, somehow unable to shut yourself up regardless of how broken your voice is.
“Mommy.. Want you to cum in me.. Please..”
You pathetically beg into her shoulder, peppering sloppy kisses on whatever bit of soft skin you can reach. You mindlessly run your hands over her smooth back for a moment, mind hazy and lost in the euphoria her desperate thrusts are delivering to your mind. But then she buries her face into your neck, propping your hips up as high as they can before she snakes her arms under your back, wrapping them around you as she begins to fuck you with desperate, shallow thrusts. You let out a surprised moan as your nails dig into her back.
You’re so hot, but her warm body pressed flush against yours like this feels so good. Being able to feel her arms pressing into you, her soft skin and smooth curves pressed up against yours.. You're able to feel nothing but Agatha, she's filling all of your senses and you wish you could live like this forever. She bumps into your clit with each thrust, your eyes blurring with pleasure each time as you start to feel your orgasm build. 
“I’m gonna fill you up baby…”
She breathes the words against your ear and you’re moaning louder, feeling yourself clenching around her cock.
“Fuck-”
The word is a continuous, broken moan. You’ve never seen Agatha like this before. So desperate, broken from pleasure. You hum out a moan, holding her tighter, clenching around her as you grow excited for her to lose herself in a way you’ve never seen before.
“Please.. Mommy.. Want you to cum deep in me.. Want you to fill me up until it spills outta me.. Please..”
You babble, her grip tightening around you. She’s desperately grinding her hips against yours, pressing hard and deep, rolling her hips around and around and the friction on your clit is making your mind grow fuzzy. She’s moaning into your shoulder, curses strung between sweet praises and pet names as she snakes a hand from around your back, cupping your cheek and turning your head towards her.
Agatha crashes her lips onto yours, biting her way into your mouth as her tongue melds with yours. You let out a high pitched moan as your legs tense around her hips, your nails digging into her back as yours arches off the bed- your eyes pinched shut with pleasure, your body seizing up as you clench around her cock.
Agatha moans loudly, her thrusts stuttering and sloppy as she feels you cum around her. Her face contorts in that of pure pleasure in a way you've never seen before, head thrown back and mouth clenched as it hangs open in a silent moan, eyes pinched shut tightly. 
Her hips stutter into yours a few more times before she tightens her arms around you like a snake constricting around its prey- hips pressed so hard into yours you're sure you'll bruise. But you don’t care, you're excited to see the bruises in the morning. 
Your eyes lock onto her features as she lets out such a raw moan- unlike anything you've ever heard from the woman before as she shoots thick ropes of cum as deep into you as she possibly can, face buried into your shoulder as she continues to constrict around you.
You hold her back tightly. Arms wrapped around her, feeling the softness of her skin as you keep your legs locked around her back.
She’s breathless, panting as she presses soft kisses all over your upper chest and your shoulders as you both come down from your highs. You smile softly at how she's always looking after you, even when having her moment. Your chest is heaving as she leans back, her hair even messier than before as you reach up to begin petting it into place with your fingers.
“God, you're absolutely perfect… Such a good girl for me..”
Agatha grins down at you, leaving a soft kiss on your lips. You smile into the kiss, caressing the side of her cheek when she leans back.
“I’ll always be a good girl for you, Mommy…”
You purr up at her, aware that all of her wishes for the night haven't been fulfilled yet. She returns your inviting words with a smirk, her eyes pouring with affection. 
“Oh yeah?”
Agatha leans backwards, slowly pulling out of you. You gasp and wince slightly at the feeling of her cum dripping out of you, and the mess it's leaving on your skin and the sheets.
Your lover seems entranced, humming in excitement as she eyes the mess between your legs. Her hand glows purple with magic again as she hovers it over her cock, before it disappears and she starts running the tip through your messy folds.
You whimper at how sensitive you are, but still, excitement builds in you. 
“Are you gonna follow through on your promise from earlier, baby?”
She teases you, voice laced with mockery and that sly smirk of hers quirking at her lips as she presses the tip to your entrance once again. You gasp.
“I promised to always be a good girl for you, didn't I?”
254 notes · View notes
ddejavvu · 9 months
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Betrayal - Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader
Summary: months into the war and it's not as exhilarating as you'd hoped - not for your battalion, anyway. when the air conditioning in your compound blows, an old friend brings his tech genius of a padawan to fix it for you. while anakin is working, you convince his master to spar for old times' sake, and simple adrenaline gives way to a landslide of long-buried feelings neither of you should have for each other.
Contents/Warnings: smut, minors dni, fem!reader, jedi!reader, reader is a general, sweat kink (? they are really sweaty and i talk about it a lot), oral (m+f receiving), semi-public sex (risk of being caught), sparring, lightsaber use, throatfucking, messy kisses, scratching/marking, lotsa spit, obligatory 'had you said the word' (sorry satine i had to steal his line)
WC: 16.9K / navigation / inbox
A/N: sorry this took me so long to finish! i didn't have time to write for like two months but it's done now and i hope you enjoy it <3 this is set a couple months/a year into the clone wars, but i have chosen to fuck with their ages a little bit. in this, anakin is like 12-14-ish, even though he was older in AOTC when the war began.
feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think!
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Neglecting the option of taking a padawan under your wing is what stuck you on this humid, blazing, hellish planet, and you almost regret it. You’d wanted more freedom in your duties, didn’t want a youngling clinging to your leg begging for help with their rudimentary saber drills, so instead you swapped it for what you thought would be constant battle, exhilarating speeder chases, and the glory of proving yourself. Unbecoming of a Jedi to wish for, yes, but you’ve never claimed to be Council-worthy.
Now your butt is sticking to the chair you’re planted in, overlooking a very empty, very desolate, very boring outpost. It’s so hot that you think you’ve melted into the chair and fused with its fabric. Standing might tear your skin away from your flesh, leaving an imprint of you behind in your seat.
“General,” One of your clone troopers calls, sticking his head through the doorway to your station, “Nothing on my scanners.”
“Nor on mine,” You drawl lazily, “We’re scheduled to be inspected today. Any word from the crew?”
“None.” He laments, “I just hope they bring a droid that can fix the cooler.”
The base you’re stationed to isn’t always this disgusting. The structure is wired with an air conditioning system to keep the inside much cooler than the outside, but after a rather unfortunate incident with a freshly manufactured astromech droid with some crossed wirings, both lay broken and singed in the maintenance bay. Your clones don’t know how to tinker with droids or heating systems, and you’d probably wind up just as ash-covered if you tried.
“Alert me when they land,” You order the trooper, leaning your forehead against the cool metal of the scanner screen before you, “I want to have time to change into an outfit I haven’t soaked through with sweat.”
The scanner grows warm against your flushed skin far too soon. Everything is hot, and sticky, and gross, and you find yourself yearning for the cold showers you used to despise at the temple. Perhaps you yearn for the temple in general, for the familial atmosphere shared among overconfident Padawans and exasperated Masters. You think specifically of Obi-Wan Kenobi, a man you’d trained with, now Master to his apprentice Skywalker.
You haven’t seen the pair in years, but you remember Anakin’s blonde mop of hair, as well as his penchant for chaos. Watching Obi-Wan’s eyes fill with horror at whatever shenanigans his Padawan had gotten into that day was part of what helped you make the decision to decline one yourself, though you hold no distaste for the boy. He was simply young and untrained in the ways of the Jedi, and you were not a patient enough person to gracefully navigate that predicament then. You’re not sure you are now, either.
Even though you know you’re better suited on your own, you wonder if you’d have been more fulfilled with a Padawan learner of your own. Surely anything could be better than this, wasting away- rotting on a planet hot enough to boil your blood if you stepped outside without proper protection.
Your base is secluded and temperature-controlled, even if the contraption that the Republic had fashioned under pressure of time to keep you isolated is rather crude. It’s, in essence, a large dome, seals in place to ensure that vessels can land and takeoff without destroying the temperature control. It’s cooler within the dome than it is outside of it, but the hurriedly-designed system can only do too much, and you greatly depend on the air conditioning to do its job. Now that it’s not, you’re irritated from the heat, and you wish that the inspection team would just hurry up already. The patience you’d had drilled into you from your early years as a Youngling is nowhere to be found under the pressure of a heat wave, and your foot taps impatiently against the floor while you itch for some action.
You think it’s rather pathetic that you yearn for excitement so badly that you’re anxiously awaiting the inspection team. Their job takes barely an hour, a scan of your equipment and a survey of your troops. They’ll walk in and out without so much as a pleasantry, but you long for something new, something more, something exciting.
The call over your comms comes over an hour later, a time in which you remain at your post but begrudge it all the while. “General,” Your trooper barks, voice staticky and rough over the channel, “We’ve got visitors. Inspection team’s here. Initiating landing procedure.”
“Copy that,” You bolt out of your seat, barely remembering to lean over the microphone to reply, “Thank you.”
Finally.
Finally, someone new to talk to, even if they have the same face as everyone else you’ve spoken to on this long, dreary assignment. You’re friendly with your troopers, of course, but that itch for more is back in your brain, igniting you with vigor you don’t normally possess as you rush to greet the inspection team.
However, when you reach the landing bay, and the ship’s hydraulics hiss, clone troopers aren’t the only ones to disembark. Jedi robes make their appearance, shrouding the very man you’d just thought about, as well as the child by his side. 
Obi-Wan wears the years that have passed since you last saw him, but time has treated him well. His hair is longer now, gone is that stiff Padawan buzz. His braid is missing as well, giving way to luscious strawberry blonde strands that he’s slicked back so that they drag against the back and sides of his neck. Longer hair looks good on him, just as it had when he was fifteen and had refused a haircut for months in a typical, if rather tame, display of teenage rebellion. Anakin is also significantly older than you’d kept track of, but he can’t be older than fourteen if his lanky limbs and awkward demeanor are any evidence.
Obi-Wan smiles at you, and you nearly forget to shove down that shameful part of you that wants to take more out of him than he can give you. Even as Padawans you’d always gravitated towards the man opposite you, sneaking out to roam the gardens after hours together or sharing sly glances across mission briefings. But he’s an honorable Jedi Master - a member of the Council itself, so you’ve heard - and you wrestle down your repressed feelings to grin at him.
“General Y/L/N,” He greets with a smile so charming you lament that the Jedi Order interrupted his chances of being a model.
“Master Kenobi,” You greet, but you know he’ll chide you for the honorific if you use it more than once, “I wasn’t aware you’d be on the inspection team.”
“We’re not. Technically.” Obi-Wan admits, arm coming to press against Anakin’s back and nudge him forwards, “We got word that your air conditioning system is out, as well as one of your new astromechs. Anakin here is still an excellent mechanic, I thought we’d come out to offer you some reprieve from the heat.”
Anakin looks embarrassed by the attention that’s fallen upon him, in typical pubescent fashion, and you take pity on the timid teenager, casting your glance back at his Master, “Maker, thank you. We’re melting out here.”
“I can imagine,” Obi-Wan laughs, and you turn again to Anakin who’s anxiously awaiting your orders.
“Anakin, if you could fix our air conditioning, that would be wonderful. Honestly, I’m not even sure I want the droid fixed, it’s what got us into this mess in the first place. But they’re both over there,” You point to the shorted out panels, “And my troopers will offer you any supplies you need, like tools or wiring or refreshments.”
“Thank you.” Anakin nods, hands clasped behind his back obediently even if he looks mortified to be the center of attention once more, “I’ll have things up and running as soon as possible.”
“I’m leaving you here,” Obi-Wan warns the boy, pointing an accusatory finger at him, “I don’t often leave you alone with machinery and tools, Anakin, for reasons we’re both aware of. Promise me you will not do anything reckless?”
“I promise,” Anakin mutters reluctantly, and you avert your eyes so he has some semblance of privacy.
“I mean it, Anakin. This is no time to experiment with your technical prowess. You simply fix their system and you wait for me back on the ship, understand?”
“Master,” Anakin pleads, “I understand.”
“Very well. Get to your duties,” Obi-Wan dismisses the boy, turning to you only after he sees his Padawan crouch by the singed panel.
“He shouldn’t take long. He most likely will try to tinker with the astromech, though.” Obi-Wan smiles sympathetically, “He’s not one to leave a droid unusable.”
“I remember he had a particular talent for mechanics,” You muse, starting off towards the main base intent on leading Obi-Wan to your rec room, “If I recall correctly, he figured out how to inconspicuously rewire his communicator to give you an ‘unavailable’ signal if he didn’t like what you were asking him to do.”
Obi-Wan scoffs as he lets you lead through the doorway, “Yes, my Padawan has always had very selective hearing. I’m sure you don’t mind not having one of your own.”
“That’s one of the reasons I justify my choice,” You chuckle, letting the door shut behind you as you make your way through the halls. The base that the Republic had granted you is spacious, even decked out with training facilities and rec rooms interspersed throughout your rows of quarters, but it’s unbearably hot and you’re tired of being cooped up inside of it.
“This isn’t bad for a base,” Obi-Wan muses, robes swishing behind him as he strides beside you, “But I hope Anakin fixes that cooling system soon.”
“Try being stationed here permanently,” You scoff, tugging at the sweat-soaked neckline of your tunic, “I have long since abandoned my robes.”
“Do you have somewhere I could set this?” Obi-Wan asks, fingers catching the front of his cloak as he slings it off. It falls gracefully from his shoulders, and he holds the garment up as he laments still having to wear the rest of his robes.
“You can leave it in my quarters,” You veer sharply to the right, letting him catch up, “They’re just down this hallway.”
There’s unmarked doors on either side of the corridor, and you’re still impressed that each clone trooper knows where their bed is at night. Your door has a plaque beside its frame that reads ‘General’s Quarters,’ and you’re not confident that you could navigate the halls without it. You type in your access code, and the door slides open with a hiss.
“Just set it on the bed,” You gesture towards your mattress, “If we have some time, I thought,” You reach into the closet, pulling out your seldom-used lightsaber, “We could spar.”
Obi-Wan laughs, discarding his cloak onto your bed as his eyes crinkle happily at the corners, “You’re lacking a bit of excitement here, aren’t you, Y/N? There’s no way you’d duel me willingly after I took you down the last time.”
You’d sparred together since you’d been handed a saber for the first time. Sure, your initial weapons were wooden, then training blades designed to be duller than their more advanced counterparts, before you’d finally been granted allowance to manufacture one of your own. But there were no more dedicated sparring partners than the two of you, and you can tell the man opposite you is fond of the reminder you’ve given him, even if he is trying to tease you.
“You did not take me down,” You gawp, “I mean- yes, I was on the floor, but I wasn’t done! You didn’t win!”
“Mm, yes. I didn’t win because no one did.” Obi-Wan sends you a sly grin, “Anakin interrupted us, don’t you remember? We never got to finish.”
“Then a rematch,” You insist, gesturing towards the open doorway, “Once and for all we’ll prove who the better duelist is.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll win. After all, I can tell you spend every waking moment practicing and making sure you lose none of your fighting abilities,” Obi-Wan’s hand darts out to switch on your holotable, revealing an in-progress game of chess. You’re losing.
“I’ve only been using that as of late,” You snap, defensive, “It’s insufferable to train without proper ventilation. And only when I’m not on duty. I don’t spend all of my time sitting and playing chess.”
“Losing at chess.” Obi-Wan arches an eyebrow, finally stepping out of your quarters so that you can shut it once more, “Come, Y/N, show me to your training grounds.”
The training room is just as hot as everywhere else on the base. You walk through the doors and humid air greets you, something that wrinkles Obi-Wan’s nose and rustles his mustache.
 “God, I hope your Padawan knows what he’s doing,” You groan, rolling up the sleeves of your own tunic but jumping excitedly into action despite the heat. You ignite your saber, slightly embarrassed by the thrill that the weapon gives you as it thrums to life. You haven’t felt this in a long time, at least, not paired with the thrill of battle. It’s significantly less awe-inspiring to ignite a saber against a training droid you know wouldn’t be able to singe your tunics if you stood stock still. Obi-Wan brings his to life as well; blue and green lights bathe your faces.
“I’ll go easy on you.” He smiles infuriatingly, cocking his head slightly to one side, “Ready?”
“Ready.” You jolt right, a fakeout before you dart left instead. He catches on rather quickly, though, and his blade clashes against yours as you aim for his leg.
“Nice start,” Obi-Wan admits, “But you can’t rely on misdirection for your entire fight. You’ll have to overpower me.”
“I could easily overpower you,” You swing left, breaking the contact of your two sabers, then jabbing so that he has to move his foot out of the way to avoid the plasma. He stumbles, barely catching himself against his back foot, but it gives you time enough to bring your blade up and around to nick at his shoulder, a hole now slashed into his tunic.
“Okay,” He stands straight, eyeing the tear in his clothing warily, “I won’t go easy on you.”
“Never underestimate your opponent,” You tease proudly, saber still ignited, “That’s one for me, Obi-Wan.”
“That doesn’t count,” He scoffs, standing at the ready, “I told you I’d go easy on you. Now I’m serious.”
“All I’m hearing is excuses,” You gloat, feet light as you step around him, “You lead this time, Kenobi.”
He does. He swings downwards, and you block your face with your own blade to stop him. He nearly jabs at your gut before you can prevent it, and you feel the heat from his blade as your own comes to block his.
You fling his weapon away with yours, and he lets you. After such a long period of no action (and shamefully little meditation) your abilities with the Force have grown slightly weaker, as have your regulatory skills. You can still sense what he’s going to do when he squares his shoulders, but you’re almost not fast enough to interpret those senses, and you barely make it to block him from swinging his blade in a fiery circle that would clip the edge of your arm.
“You’re rusty,” He taunts, his own Force abilities stronger than ever as his presence seeps through the cracks in your mind. You try to force him out, but it takes effort, and it’s effort you can’t expend elsewhere. It means that you can’t foresee his intent to aim for your face, and his blade hums inches away from your cheek as he holds it there.
You freeze; you’re caught.
We’re even,” You grunt, sweat beading at your forehead, “But we’re not finished.”
“Hang on,” He disengages his saber, letting the apparatus clatter to the ground as he tugs at one of the outer layers of his robes, “I’m going to shed a few things.”
“Stripping will not help your cause.” You tease, “I’m not distracted by sex appeal.”
Clearly, he isn’t expecting your jab, and he lets his mouth fall open as he slings off one of his garments, an incredulous laugh filling his throat.
“Y/N. You’ve obtained a foul mouth somewhere along your career. It certainly wasn’t in the temple.”
“It’s the clones,” You groan, “Try being stationed with a troop of grown men who went through puberty in record time. They’ve got the appetite of an adult with the filter of a teenage boy.”
“They’ve never tried anything with you,” Obi-Wan narrows his eyes questioningly, and you try to avoid looking at the sweat glistening against his tanned neck as he strips to his base layer.
“No, they’re respectful.” You assure him, “Just crass.”
“Yes, well,” Obi-Wan frowns distastefully, “They haven’t had Jedi training. I suppose I’m not surprised.”
He stands there for a moment with only his undershirt covering his chest, then decides that it’s still too warm, tugging at its hem to raise it over his head.
You feel your insides ignite with a fire you haven’t felt in a long time when his bare chest is exposed, skin marred and riddled with coarse, wiry hair. His stomach is flat but not as tight as you remember in your youth, softer now. You can tell there’s an impressive layer of muscle beneath the milky white skin, though, even if it’s not outwardly visible. He uses his tunic to wipe the sweat off of his face so you’re granted a moment to ogle him, your mouth watering as you try to conceal your thoughts. 
“Okay. Enough with this child’s play.” You shake your head, letting Obi-Wan have just enough time to toss aside his tunic before you plant your feet against the mat. Obi-Wan stands at the ready, both of your sabers ignited, “I want a real match. A long one, now that we’re warmed up. Best two out of three, Kenobi. Winner takes all.”
“Winner gets to stand in front of the air conditioning vent when Anakin gets it up and running,” Obi-Wan suggests, sweat trailing down his neck and over his chest. You avert your eyes, lest the fraile state of mind you’re in betrays you.
“Fine.” You shrug, reaching for the hem of your vest. It’s tactical, good for keeping with you on duty, but it’s etching lines of sweat into your back now. You sling it off, letting it land in a heap similar to Obi-Wan’s robes, and exposing the tank top you have on beneath it. “I know just the one I’ll pick. In my room, there’s one just above the bed. Maybe I’ll let it hit my back while I win at holochess.”
“I think the heat might be getting to you,” Obi-Wan cracks, a slight heave to his chest as he tries regulating his breathing. It’s hard when you’re as hot as you are to get enough oxygen, and you’re doing the same. It’s awfully difficult not to indulge in the view of his bare chest rapidly rising and falling, and you feel a tug below your gut as a vision flashes through your mind. It’s of what else could make him pant in such a way, and you can’t afford to entertain the thought, not around him. “I’m not sure which outcome is more delusional; that you’ll win this duel, or that you’ll win at holochess.”
“You’re wasting time,” You croon, charging with your blade poised for battle so that you have no more time to fantasize, “I think you’re scared.”
“Do I feel afraid?” Obi-Wan laughs, blocking your attack with little effort and redoubling to launch one of his own. The clatter of your sabers almost drowns out his words, “Reach out, Y/L/N, all you’ll feel is confidence.”
“I’m not sure I could feel you if I tried,” You lament, chest heaving as you block one of his swings, “Not while my mind is occupied with our duel. I am rusty, you were right.”
“Practice more,” He chides, “Less chess, more meditation.”
“One is a lot more boring than the other!” You groan, barely managing to get your arm up in time to take a shot at his own, “And the less boring one is chess, so that’s really saying something.”
“It may be boring but it is beneficial,” Obi-Wan lectures you, and you wonder if he thinks you’re still a Padawan. You fight with heaving breaths and monumental effort, the heat sucking your energy out through the sweat that drips down your skin. He turns and his back is glistening, which is really not a sight that helps you to stay focused.
“Now I’m starting to see why Anakin tinkered with his communicator,” You call, as Obi-Wan whirls around your left side, “You’re very dull as a Jedi Master!”
You have to throw yourself onto the floor to avoid a swing at your head, your right shoulder aching as you do so. But you scramble away from him, righting yourself and miraculously avoiding the blade of your saber coming into contact with the training mat.
You stumble to your knees, driving the forward momentum you have against Obi-Wan as he tries blocking you. You nearly get a nick out of his pants, but he pushes you backwards with the threat of his blade, and you fall with your back to the mat.
Your stomach drops when a blue blade hums hot and bright near your throat, its tip directed at your jugular. It doesn’t matter that it’s on its training setting; it’s inescapable and daunting when it’s an inch from your skin. You’re done for. 
“I may be dull,” Obi-Wan pants, beard glistening as sweat streams down his neck. His chest heaves as he speaks, bare and open for your eyes, and his pink tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth to dart along his lips, “But I am victorious. Does this remind you a little bit of the last time we fought?”
It does. He’d been standing over you then as he is now, and you’d had to fortify your mind back then not to let slip vulgar thoughts about being on the floor below him. His thighs, meaty with muscle and strong from training, are hidden behind loose pants, but their crotch has tightened slightly, a chub to what should be a relaxed surface.
A pang of arousal shoots down your spine, and suddenly the lightsaber near your throat isn’t the most daunting thing in the room. It’s Obi-Wan.
He swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing as you lay beneath him.
“Your thoughts betray you,” He observes, and you feel his invasive presence in your mind, sucking out the private thoughts coursing through your brain. They’re of panting breaths, heaving chests, wandering hands, and meshing tongues; passionate embraces, intimate attachments. Things no Jedi should fantasize about, not under the code. Things that should bring shame to you, and maybe they do, and maybe you like it.
“Your body betrays you,” You’re able to muster, swallowing the saliva pooling in your mouth as you glance pointedly at his bulge. It’s only grown since you’d last glanced at it; evidently your visions did something to him too.
He sees, or perhaps, feels what you see, freezes, then clicks his saber off. The blade retracts with a hiss and there is a distinct vacuum of sound where its humming once was. He breaks the unnerving silence with a clatter as he tosses it aside, feet still firmly planted on either side of your hips. 
“It’s natural.” He weakly supplies, a poor defense, “It’s adrenaline-fueled, nothing more.”
“Really? So when you duel sith lords, when you chop the heads off of battle droids, you walk away with a stiff dick?” You carefully observe his body language, feet poised like he might bolt if you make any sudden moves. He’s flighty, and you have to make your next moves carefully.”
“Y/N,” He begins, his voice weak, “I wish you wouldn’t use such foul language.”
“Is it the language that bothers you?” You push your elbows against the mat, hoisting yourself up at an obtuse angle to meet his eye better, “Or is it the truth it carries? Obi-Wan, you were right. It’s natural. And it is not something to be ashamed of.”
“It is against the Code,” He reasons, his voice still fighting to sound resolute. He offers no other reasoning, and you know it’s because he has none.
“It’s not.” You insist, “The Code is ancient and rigid. And celibacy is not required, only a level head.”
“That’s the problem,” He chuckles weakly, “I don’t have a level head when it comes to you, Y/N.”
“You seem as though you do.” You press cautiously, careful not to push your luck, “I’ve never felt anything unprofessional about your feelings towards me.”
“That’s because I haven’t been around you in a long time,” He admits, “Not consistently. I was better at controlling it- no, hiding it when we were Padawans. I had to do it every day, it was natural to me. But I am out of practice now, and I have been since you were stationed here. I barely have the ability to hide how I feel about you, Y/N. And- and it is not something the Council would approve of.”
You sit up now, fully straightened. You’re still between his legs, but you’d need to rise to your knees for your face to be level with his bulge. You plan to.
“The Council is not here. Nor can they see us, or hear us, or feel us. They will not know what we do, Obi-Wan.”
“I will know.” He breathes, his voice growing weaker each time he tries raising it against you, “Y/N, I will never forget a thing we do together on this base. If we… If you touch me, I will remember every brush of your skin against mine for eternity. If you- kiss me, I will never be able to put the thought of your lips on mine out of my head. And I would not know how to live without it for the rest of my life.”
Your heart sinks in your stomach like a stone in water. He’s loyal to the Order, he always has been. But you’d been so blinded by isolation, so convinced by your own delusions, that you’d assumed his loyalty to you would be stronger. But it’s not, and you can’t earnestly be angry with him for it.
You swallow what little saliva has accumulated around your tongue to give yourself something to do, then rise to your feet.
“It sounds like you should walk away.” You mutter regretfully. His eyes hold the same feelings, strikingly painful. He nods, almost imperceptibly, but before he can follow your orders, you continue.
“But will you forgive yourself if you do?”
You feel it, his swell of emotions. Every single one is unbridled, yearning, heartache, fondness, want; all of them unleashed from the man whose mind is usually a fortress. They’re washing over you like waves, invading your brain and turning your thoughts their colors. 
“No. I couldn’t,” He admits, “But-” and there’s always a but, “The Council would never forgive me if I didn’t.”
“They won’t know.” You insist, but it’s lost on him, “Obi-Wan, please make a decision. Who is more important, you or the Council?” Then in a more timid, soft voice, as his soft eyes bore into you and beg for mercy, you give him the opposite, “Who is more important… me or the Council?”
He kisses you. There is no warning, no shift in his Force signature, only his hands on your face and his lips on your own. There is strength in his touch, his hands firm where they pull your cheeks ever-so-slightly towards his face as if he’s trying to mash them into his own. His beard is rough and grating against your face, but it’s not unpleasant, especially when it brings with it his lips. His lips, which are much softer than you’d have imagined them, merely frame your own. The kiss is sweet but chaste, and the only indication you have that he wants more is the way that he holds you against him. Otherwise you’d mistake his courtesy for disinterest, and you tilt your head slightly sideways to encourage more enthusiasm from him.
When your lips reconnect he sighs, a breath from his nose that fans over your top lip. He’s letting you lead, letting you dictate whether you want to keep kissing him or whether you’ll suddenly switch positions; it’s like he’s afraid that you’ll rip off a mask and reveal yourself to be Master Windu, scolding him for his reckless passion. But of course you don’t, and you lick gently against the plush of his bottom lip instead.
He hums at the feeling of your tongue against his mouth, but he’s suddenly pushing against your cheeks instead of pulling.
“Are you absolutely sure,” He starts, but can’t seem to resist the temptation to steal another kiss from your spit-slicked lips, “That you- mm, that you want this? Because I cannot-” He breaks off with a weary, pleading, defeated look in his beautiful eyes, “I cannot turn back if we go further. If we proceed… I will not be able to forget what we do. If you’re not interested… please tell me now, so that I may save myself from loving you for an eternity that you do not wish to share with me.”
You scoff, moving in for another kiss at his lips. He doesn’t reciprocate, only pushing you back so that you can respond.
“I just spent five minutes,” You pant, desperate to reconnect your lips, “Bargaining with you to get you to forget about your nerves. And you don’t think I want this?”
You try surging forwards again but he holds you back, eyes still begging for your words.
“Please. I need to hear you say it.” He seems almost self-conscious, worried you’re not interested in him the same way he’s interested in you. But you have been since you can remember, and you’re more than willing to work around the unconventional aspects of your relationship if it means you can have him, even just for today.
“I want you,” You breathe, the exhale hitting his lips, “Please- Obi-Wan, I want you. I want you no matter what the Code says. No matter what the Council says; I want you.”
He looks like he could cry. He is devoted to the Order, far more than you have seen most Jedi, and to hear you choose him over the Code must mean a great deal. He pours passion into the kiss you share, chest filling with oxygen that he gulps just to be able to keep his mouth on yours for longer. He consumes you, fingers pulling at your cheeks and tugging you closer still, like he thinks you might fuse if he tries hard enough.
He groans into your mouth, his tongue more exploratory now that you’ve pledged your devotion to him. He’s not afraid of taking now, of getting his hopes up only to be thrown down, and he swipes the wet muscle in a hot stripe over your own tongue. He rolls it against your lower lip, so wonderful to kiss for someone with such lacking experience.
“No one is coming,” You breathe, exhaling against his mouth as your hands wander to his waistband, “No one- no one can see us.”
“I want you in your quarters.” He protests, grabbing your wrists when your hand sinks to his bulge and ghosts over it. He jolts at the unexpected contact, but holds you back, “I want to lay you down, Y/N, I want to indulge in every part of you. Worship you.”
“I will let you,” You moan, tilting your forehead against his and mouthing at his lips in a sloppy kiss, “You may have me any way you want, Obi-Wan. But here, I- I want to have you. I need to have you now,”
“Impatient,” He notes, sounding suspiciously close to lecturing you. But he lets your wrists go, and you sink to your knees instantly. He hears them hit the training mat, knows they must ache, but he can’t find any part of him available to worry about it, not now that your hands are prying greedily at the waistband of his trousers.
He’s a near stranger to physical pleasure, at least in recent years. He’s a grown man, he has urges, but he also has responsibilities, and the constant pressure of an ambitious (read: reckless) young Padawan under his supervision mixed with a quickly-rising rank within the Jedi Order leave him with little time nor interest to indulge in his barest desires. Your hand gently squeezing his clothed bulge as you wrestle with his pants nearly knocks him off of his feet, and he’s not sure he’ll be able to handle having your warm mouth envelop it.
Finally you tug loose the drawstring within his pants, and yank them down his thighs. They’re seldom bare, you see from the milky white tone of the skin there, but they are muscled and thick like he does not neglect them.
You can’t help yourself when you lean forwards, tongue already protruding from your mouth to lick a fat, wet stripe around one of his thighs. It’s sturdy beneath your tongue that dips into the crease between his skin and the parts of it that are covered by his briefs. His muscles tense like you’ve struck him with a fatal blow, and an open-mouthed groan escapes his lips.
His skin tastes of the sweat that’s currently moistening every inch of your bodies, salty and tantalizing. There’s no escaping it in the brutal heat, but it makes him all the more sexy, his skin glistening before you even get a chance to smear it in your saliva.
You’re guilty of impatience as he accuses, and you can’t resist mouthing at his covered bulge. He’s half-hard, but when your lips purse around the outline of his cock in his briefs he twitches, and you feel him stiffen against the restraints of his underwear on your tongue. 
His knees give out with no warning, and he barely has the foresight to grab desperately at a bench press behind him for stability. He falls quickly to its surface, perching on the edge of it while you desperately chase his cock. You fit your mouth again over his briefs and drool against the fabric, surely soaking it through with your saliva. His cock, though restrained, is heavy and thick on your tongue, making your mouth water and produce enough drool to soak through his entire ensemble. His hands clutch the bench beneath him with white knuckles, and he grits his teeth to stop himself from shouting as you suck at his clothed cock.
“Oh, Y/N,” He pants, voice strained as you get lost in your task and forget that you need to actually pull his briefs down. He reaches for your head, gently nudging you away with his knuckles against your temple.
“Darling, please, I can’t- I won’t last for very long. Please, have me properly.”
He grips at the waistband of his underwear, tugging them down hurriedly and letting his cock spring free. It’s of decent length, but slightly thicker than average, its base shrouded by a patch of curled hair at his groin. It’s a similar caramel color to the rest of his hair, and his sweat has accumulated particularly within its wiry constraints, leaving him musky. The smell might bother you if it were anyone else, if you were anywhere else, but here and now, on your knees for Obi-Wan in the training room, it’s the most disgustingly tantalizing thing you’ve ever smelled in your entire life.
That’s why you bury your face into it, the hair tickling at your skin. His hips jolt as you inhale deeply near the base of his cock, groaning and letting your tongue fall to drag against just the shaft of his erect dick. He’s painfully hard, embarrassingly seconds to orgasm, and your spit now glistening on his length doesn’t help. Or it helps too much; either way, he’s close to cumming and you haven’t even had a chance to put him in your mouth.
“Darling,” He begs, pushing at your forehead once more, speaking through an eternal shortage of breath, “Please, I- it all feels too good. I can’t take it. I won’t last long.”
“That’s okay,” You pant, your breath falling over his cock as it practically pulses with pleasure, “We’re here for a good time, not a long time.”
“Terrible,” He manages to chuckle weakly, but any further chiding he has planned for your cheekiness is cut short when he stops breathing. He actually forgets how when your wet mouth closes around the head of his cock, your tongue licking flat over its head and covering most of its surface area. It’s so much sensation so fast that Obi-Wan has to clench his hands around the bench not to cum right then and there, and he feels pinpricks of pain over his skin that he realizes are from his fingernails digging against his palms. When you draw your head back off of his cock with a slick sound, then move in again to take more of his length into your mouth, his lungs suddenly remember their function, and heave within his chest.
His groans are filthy and they only pool more slick wetness between your thighs as you kneel for him. You don’t care about the ache in your knees, nor the pain in your neck from the slightly awkward angle you’re indulging in him at. All that matters is his cock, heavy and thick on your tongue, sweat and precum alike flooding your taste buds. 
His restraint is put to the test. He’s a member of the Jedi Council, for Force’s sake, and he should have a little more control over himself than this. But it takes almost all of his energy not to buck his hips forwards and plunge the length of his cock down your throat, and it means that he’s not able to devote as much restraint to delaying his orgasm as he’d like.
He’s twitching in your mouth, and even with your faded Force abilities, mental muscles weakened by disuse, you can feel the tension coursing through his veins, hot and wild. You don’t need to look at his strained, white-knuckled grip on the edge of the bench to know that he’s devoting all of his energy to restraining himself, and you take pride in being able to undo Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi with merely your mouth. You indulge in his painful hardness, tongue smoothly caressing the underside of his length as you bob your head back and forth around him. Each time you draw back you flick your tongue up and over the ruddy, leaking head of his cock, something that makes that fiery tension in his body glow even hotter.
“I’m going to-” He warns you, voice petering out weakly as he tries controlling himself, “I can’t- I can’t help it, I’m going to cum.”
“Cum,” You speak in unison, your word coming out muffled as you speak it against his cock. You smooth your hands up his thighs, feeling his muscles impossibly tight beneath your fingers. You stroke them soothingly, encouraging him to unclench his jaw that’s wired so tightly that you’re sure his teeth are on the verge of cracking, “Cum, Obi-Wan, please.”
Even if you hadn’t asked him so kindly, he’s sure he wouldn’t have been able to withhold any longer. Not with your pretty eyes gazing up at him from between his legs, lashes latticing the tender emotions swirling in your gaze. Your fingers slide calmly, sweetly over the expanse of his thighs, and the mere thought of you digging your nails harshly into them and leaving marks is what elicits the final twitch of his dick on your tongue.
Evidently, you’re more in tune with his thoughts than he’d expected. You’d caught the quick image that had flashed through his mind, now completely unguarded to you, and you curl your fingers quicker than he can comprehend, carving searing marks into his thighs that will show up red for at least a week. Paired with the movement of your fingers, you suck hard at his cock, plunging your face forwards to nestle against the base once more. His tip hits the back of your throat with force and it makes you gag, and Obi-Wan isn’t sure what sensation is more overwhelming: the vivid burning at his thighs, the way the tip of his dick nestles so securely into the warm, wet sleeve of your throat, or the way that you’re breathing in his sweat-marred scent like it’s the purest oxygen you’ve ever had in your lungs. All he knows is that together, they’re his undoing, and he lets out a rugged cry; he can’t control himself any longer when pleasure roars through him with a fury he’s almost frightened of. 
He’s always calm, collected, in control. But now he’s grabbing your face with shaking hands as he pumps warm spurts of cum down your throat, holding your jaw steady so that you can’t back away, not that you want to. He holds you in place while his thighs begin to tremble, your tongue continuously smoothing over the underside of his cock while it twitches in your mouth. He keeps himself fully nestled into the back of your throat while he cums, and if he had energy to be embarrassed about cumming as much as he was, he’d be apologizing. But he can’t, not when you’re swallowing him so eagerly, throat convulsing around the head of his cock and only milking more out of him. There’s obscene groans coming from his mouth, the kind that bring heat to your own core, and you think you could get off to the sound a thousand times over if you recorded him now. They’re deep, throaty, and desperate as he holds your face around his cock, gagging you on his dick as his orgasm takes control of him.
A part of your training that hasn’t left you yet was your extensive disaster training, in which you were taught how to extend the time for which you could hold your breath. That comes in especially handy when Obi-Wan’s hands cradle your jaw, keeping you snugly choking around his dick. You have to fight not to draw back at the strange sensation of your throat being plugged while his cum splatters against the back of it,, and you use all of your strength to keep yourself from panicking at the lack of airflow. You’re only slightly ashamed to admit that you’d willingly die like this, a fucktoy for his cock.
Once his orgasm has worked its way through him he seems to remember you can’t breathe, all of the tension having leaked out of his muscles. He inhales with a start, pushing against your cheeks and tugging his cock out of your mouth, “Oh, Y/N, darling- Y/N, are you-?” 
At the sight of your spit-soaked lips, tongue desperately running over them to collect any of the sweat that had accumulated there from being pressed against his pelvis, he lunges forwards to meet his lips with your own. He can taste the slight savory hint of his own release, your tongues meshing wetly and messily. He’s hunching now, even though you’ve straightened up on your knees, and he feels you clumsily palm at his dick, tucking him back away into his briefs. It makes his lips go slack with a gasp even though he’s just finished, and he’s more than eager to take you by the wrists and help you to your feet. You toss his undershirt at him with careless speed, and he nearly gets lost in its beige expanse from the way that his arms shake as he pulls it over his head.
“My quarters,” Your voice is thick and ragged, still recovering from your prior lack of oxygen, “We can- it’s soundproof, no one will know.”
“Yes,” He breathes, legs shaking slightly as he gathers the rest of the clothes he’d shed while sparring with you, “Um- we can... Anakin still hasn’t gotten the air conditioning running.”
“Uh-uh,” You shake your head, feeling nothing from the vent to your left, “Hurry, let’s go before-”
“General,” The door slides open, and you both startle, much less in tune with the force presences of those around you than you’d like to admit. One of your troopers sticks his head through the door, “The kid needs a multitool.”
You blink once, registering a slight soreness at the back of your throat, “Get him a multitool, then.”
You’re sure he can see your haggard appearance, and all apart from the glossy look of your lips looks like you’ve been sparring. Which you have, technically. You just hope Obi-Wan’s trousers don’t look like they’ve only just been hitched up around his waist again, or his shirt barely pulled down over his chest.
“I lost mine, general,” The trooper admits sheepishly. There was an abundance of the supplies that were offered to you before you’d been shipped out to this battle station, and more had been stocked for a long time in one of the supply closets, but your troopers are bored more often than not, and you shudder to think of all of the times they’ve used them as target practice by standing them on the balcony and opening fire. Apparently, you need to request some more from the next inspection team, as well as impress upon your troops the difference between an abundance of resources and useless clutter begging for a blaster wound.
“I have one in my quarters,” You sigh wearily, “Let’s see to it that we don’t misuse our equipment anymore, soldier.”
“Yes, General,” He nods vigorously, stepping out of your way to offer you the open door.
“Obi-Wan,” You turn apologetically, “We’ll have to continue our sparring match after I retrieve the multitool for your padawan. You’re welcome to follow us, though I’m not sure it’s any cooler out there than it is in here.”
“I’d like to stash my clothes somewhere, if you don’t mind,” Obi-Wan holds up the outer garments he’d shed, “I think it gives you somewhat of an unfair advantage if I’m liable to trip over my own tunics.”
You grant him a good-natured laugh as you pass your trooper in the doorway, and all in all, you think that the two of you have done a fantastic job at pretending his dick wasn’t in your mouth only minutes ago.
Your trooper makes the wise decision to stand outside of your quarters when you enter them, although any initial disappointment you’d felt at his poorly-timed request has well worn off by now. That’s all he’s guilty of, anyways; you find their antics amusing despite their destructive nature. It’s not his fault that you’re canoodling with the Jedi master, so you forgive him his abhorrent timing. You beeline for a locker in your closet, punching in the numeric code and letting the squeaky hinges reveal your small weapons store. It’s a multipurpose space, blasters on a rack that’s affixed to the back, a mount for your saber, and a drawer of various other mechanical supplies down below. You throw it open, and Obi-Wan watches you dig for the multitool where he stands by your bed, his tunics laid on your bedspread.
You realize all too late that one of your other mechanical supplies is in full view of the Jedi master standing behind you, black in color for subtlety but unmistakable in shape. It’s phallic and has a second prong that shoots off of the base to vibrate against your clit, something you only use when you're absolutely certain no one can hear. Besides, the sound could very well be mistaken for one of your troopers shaving their scruff, so you have ample opportunity. You snatch the multitool out of the drawer and slam it shut, making your trooper’s shoulders twitch in a quickly concealed wince. You’re thankful that only Obi-Wan was a temporary witness to your lack of organizational skills.
“Here,” You rush to hand it off, forcefully locking the cabinet and thrusting the tool towards the trooper, “Take it- uh, keep it, I’ll put in a request for more supplies tonight.”
“Thanks, General,” He nods warily at you, and you pity the way he’s taken your context clues and misarranged them to view your behavior as standoffish and exasperated with him, “My apologies again.”
“No worries,” You try not to snap at him, unnerved by the abnormal lack of mental pressure from Obi-Wan behind you. He used to tease you abundantly in your youth, prying at your mental shields and slipping snide remarks through the cracks while you fought to keep a straight face, but now that he’s laid his eyes on possibly the most embarrassing item you own, he’s completely still, completely silent.
“Goodbye.” You shut the door with a hydraulic hiss, and stand facing it until Obi-Wan speaks, pretending to fuss with the control panel.
“It seems you overlooked another multitool in that drawer,” His voice finally reaches over the silence, carefully bundled so that the underlying mirth is something you can only guess at, “Now I wonder if your battalion is really the cause of your foul mouth.”
“Shut up!” You whirl on him with cheeks blazing on opposite sides of your face like Tatooine’s twin suns, “Don’t tease me-”
“I’m not teasing you!” He insists, voice sounding aghast, like it’s out of the question, like he’s offended by the accusation, taking your arms into his grip when you look like you might shove him. His face is split into a smile - not a grin, which is reassuring - but a warm smile, even if there is amusement twinkling in his eyes.
“Yes you are,” You scoff, and you have half a mind to pull away when one of his hands releases your arm and anchors itself against your face instead. It’s warm, rough from wear but impossibly gentle. You fight leaning into it for as long as you can, pride still bruised, but he leans in to press his lips against your forehead in a chaste kiss. 
Typical.
You’d gagged on his dick ten minutes ago, and he’s kissing your forehead.
“Darling,” He hums sympathetically, tucking your face against his chest so snugly that you think it was engineered for the curves and bumps of your skin. You relish the hug he traps you in, the tender hold even though you’re interested in something more carnal, feral, hungry. His voice is strong and soothing as he speaks, and the vibrations thrum through his chest and against your face “You had my cock in your mouth not ten minutes ago. I’m not going to make fun of you for having a toy.”
Oh. Perhaps he hadn’t forgotten.
“Such a foul mouth,” You admonish him, tucking your grin away between the haphazardly-righted folds of his tabard. 
He pinches at your side, fingers greedily prying at the soft flesh of your belly through layers of clothing you wish weren’t between your skin and his, “Yes, well, it’s because I’ve had yours all over me.”
His hand, similarly bold to his mouth, flattens out along the curve of your side, tucking into the space above your hip bones. The other stays in place against your cheek, finger running idly across the underside of your jawline. You don’t know whether the shiver that shudders down your spine is due to the ticklish nature of his touch, or the sensual area he’s chosen, but he feels your spine thrum, and he presses further into you like it was an invitation.
“Darling,” He starts, back to that well-practiced hesitancy, “If you still want to…”
“I do,” You nod, feeling sweat drip down the back of your neck and soak into the fabric of your tank top, “Do you think we have time?”
“Anakin can occupy himself with scrap metal and multitools for hours,” Obi-Wan recollects with a smile on his face that isn’t committed to fondness or resignation. You’re sure he’s proud of his padawan’s abilities, but not of the havoc he wreaks with them.
“Hmm, that might be cutting it close,” You pretend to debate it, gnawing at the inside of your cheek, and he lets out a laugh as warm as the runoff heat from his saber with none of the bite of its blade.
“You’d occupy yourself with me for hours?” He teases, but when you nod, it’s earnest.
“I’d occupy myself with you for the rest of my life, Obi-Wan.”
The breath that he draws in when you begin speaking is the last one he draws for a while. Instead he holds it there, letting it burn and sear at his lungs while he wonders if any words he could produce with it would contain even a fraction of the yearning he feels roll over him in a nauseating wave. Very little has ever made him want the life of a civilian - his home is between the opulent walls of the Jedi temple, but any walls he shared with you would be infinitely more grandiose if only for your place within them.
“Had you said the word,” He elects to speak the truth, even if it isn’t even a chip away at the trove of feelings he keeps locked tightly away in his mind for you, “I would have left the Jedi Order.”
Would have.
You know why he won’t now, and you’re not upset with him for the reasons. You understand them, even if you don’t relate to them.
“But Anakin…”
“I know,” You nod against his chest, fingers taking hold of his undershirt’s fabric edge and fastening there, “You made a promise to your master. And to him. And he needs your help. I wouldn’t ask you to leave.”
“Would you have? When we were younger,” He idly strokes down the length of your spine, arm wrapping comfortably around your waist.
“Maybe…” You admit, “Maybe if I’d known your trip to Naboo would bring about such change. Maybe if I’d known I only had a few years left with you as we were. But I didn’t. So I never asked. And I never will.”
He doesn’t react verbally or physically after your confession, but the silence that ensues isn’t an awkward one. Instead, he maintains his hold on you, and you feel a gentle wave of affection flow from him through the Force. Affection, appreciation, love, which you feel so broadly through the Force, but rarely so devoted to you yourself rather than the galaxy in its entirety. You’re no stranger to the feeling, but it’s different channeled privately between two people than it is as a way of life.
“Let us pretend,” Obi-Wan finally musters, his voice thicker than usual, though if you were not so in tune with him you wouldn’t have perceived it, “For the next few fleeting moments, that we are still young. That we don’t have responsibilities other than those to ourselves, and to each other.”
Though your youth may have escaped you, your mind weary with resignation and Obi-Wan’s eyes darkened with the perpetual exhaustion of adulthood, his touch does not feel tired or incapable. It feels strong, firm, and mindful where it slips from your chin to your waist. His other hand sandwiches you between them, and you’re tilting your chin up to kiss him before he gives any indication that he’ll do the same. But he does, his boldness almost reset from the interruption you’d suffered. Like you need to coax him out of his shell again, like he’s worried you’ve somehow changed your mind.
You take the back of his neck in your hand, finding it slick and tacky with sour-smelling sweat, and pull him down so that his lips smash messily to your own. It’s a move he’s not expecting, and a startled groan escapes his lips as proof. You drink it, sucking it down your throat and pulling him towards the bed with the same backwards momentum. He’s nimble even if he’s unprepared, probably to do with his extensive agility training. You’re more than ready to fall back onto your bed when your calves butt against the frame but he lowers you down gently, with ease, drawing back from your kiss despite your fervent protests to watch you look up at him.
“Obi-Wan,” You beg, your voice weary, “Why are you hesitating?”
“I’m not hesitating,” He answers, and you feel it to be truthful, “I’m admiring you, darling. I’m not unsure, I’m more sure than I’ve ever been in my life.”
“Prove it,” You plead, already pulling at the hem of your tank top. You peel its sweat-soaked binding off of your skin, showcasing the equally stained garment beneath it that keeps your chest closer to your neck than your stomach, “Please, Obi-Wan, take me like you want me. Not like you feel bad for having me.”
“I do not feel bad for having you,” He promises, mouth barely parting from yours to utter the words. His lips are pink-tinted, glistening with spit, probably a mixture of his and yours. He pants slightly, cheeks similarly ruddy, “Perhaps later I will. When I stand in front of the Council and tell them we conducted routine maintenance. When I lie, when I guard my memories of you from them. But I’m not occupied with that now, darling. Only with you, I swear it.”
“Oh, well, that’s good to know,” You hum, kissing an inch lower than his mouth, the apex of his chin that’s marred by the scruff of his beard. It’s prickly and rough beneath your lips, and when you draw back they glisten with transferred sweat, “I’m glad you’re not thinking of Master Yoda while dipping a knee between my thighs.”
“Oh,” Obi-Wan ducks his head, advances on pause as he plants his forehead against your shoulder, “That’s awful. Really, truly vile.”
You laugh, and despite his disgusted bravado, so does he. His chest shakes against yours and you relish the sound, hand still planted firmly on the back of his neck. You briefly consider breaking out your rusty Yoda impression, ‘kiss me, you must’, but decide against it, instead choosing to press his head closer to your torso, letting his forehead lay flush and sweaty against your shoulder. It puts the scruff of his beard on the curve of your tits, and you feel it burn your skin as he kisses along it lightly. 
His mouth is soft, and his beard is its abrasive opposite. They trail in tandem along the slope of your breasts, first the soft lips and then the burn of the beard, until he’s lit a fiery trail across your skin to the padded edge of your bra. When his lips meet fabric instead of skin he noses beneath it, surely smelling a morning’s worth of sweat accumulated beneath the weight of your chest. You’re self conscious, for only a flash, then he takes a deep drag of air, inhaling until his chest seems fit to burst.
“I’m sorry,” You find yourself humming, regardless of his clear interest, “I wish a shower would help. Even the cold water doesn’t prevent sweating.”
“I don’t want you to shower,” He muses, pushing his face between your breasts to kiss at the skin between them. He mouths gently, tongue sliding over your skin with little form and too much spit that blends well with your sweat, “Sex is not sterile, darling. Soap and water defeat the purpose.”
You’re not sure whether it’s his insistence on the natural state of your body or the way that his knee gently prods against your center, but whatever it is, your fingers itch and you fling them up to cup the underside of your chest.
“Take it off,” You beg, and Obi-Wan shows no hesitation in complying, his hands sliding beneath your back, rough and weathered from work. They’re gentle as they slide over the clasp of your bra, and you push yourself up onto your elbows on the mattress so that he can maneuver the stretchy fabric easier.
“Does it hook or button?” He nudges his nose against yours to ask, and your stomach flops at the question. Both the fact that he doesn’t have enough experience to know, and the way that he feels comfortable enough admitting that to you by asking so earnestly only make you want him more, and you’re barely able to mumble ‘clasp’ before pressing your lips to his own once more.
“Three,” You add later, against his lips, when he unhooks one and still doesn’t have the garment undone, “There’s three.”
He takes your orders with unfailing patience, a trait you’d admired even in your youth. While you’d been more prone to hotheaded outbursts, he’d take you by the arm and speak for the both of you, usually resulting in far less severe of a punishment than you’d have gotten if you’d spoken your mind. Then the two of you would share sneaky, fleeting glances at each other while scrubbing the floors of the refectory, trying not to laugh loud enough for the Knight unwillingly supervising your punishment to hear.
You’re pulled out of your reverie when he finally unhooks the garment and slips it off of your shoulders, meaning you have to draw back from where you’d tucked your face over his shoulder, giving him a view of his work. As your faces pass each other he offers you the same grin he’d worn all those years ago, his pretty eyes alight with the love you feel seeping from his fingertips. You see a glimpse of the boy he was through the man he’s become, and both are equally endearing to you. The first, because you’d grown with him, like ferns tangled together in sticky, clinging tendrils. The second, because he wears his accomplishments on his face, crows feet at the corners of his eyes from laughing at his padawan’s wayward antics, and frown lines for scowling at the same incidences only moments prior. He’d laughed at you in your youth, and frowned just the same at your more uncouth ideas for adventure, and now those expressions are etched into his face, like layers of makeup no longer dissolvable with remover. He’ll wear them forever, and you want to see him display them even in his old age.
He watches the way that your body moves when he peels the sweat-soaked garment away from your chest. He watches your breasts succumb to gravity’s harsh pull, sloping sideways and downwards rather than maintaining their tight compress towards your chin. He watches them sag, watches them fall to their natural state and declares, “You’re beautiful, darling.”
He takes them in his hands, their mass in his palms as he rolls his thumb over the skin of your nipples. They’d usually pebble in the cold but now they’re pulling taut beneath his touch, and when he brushes his thumb over their peak you stifle a gasp.
“Beautiful,” He repeats, and leans down to meet one with his mouth. He gravitates towards the right one first, and the embrace of his hot mouth against your skin tempts your back to arch. His tongue presses flat against your nipple, then drags up its surface, and his lips kiss over the stripe of saliva he’d left behind.
His beard rubs against your skin and it’s not rawing, not yet, but you know it will be the more he mouths at your breast. He’s licking, sucking, pulling, but never biting, teeth merely grazing your flesh rather than indulging in it. His tongue does that instead, flattening out over your raised flesh and dragging hot, wet stripes over the bud of your perked nipple.
“Obi- Obi-Wan,” You gasp, dragging desperate, heaving breaths into your lungs as your hands fly to his lengthened hair. You’d ruffled it many times when it was short and spiked, but now you’re able to get purchase in the strawberry-blonde locks, curling your fingers around the soft, sweat-darkened strands and pulling. 
You don’t pull hard, but it’s unexpected, and you feel the momentary pinch of Obi-Wan’s teeth around your breast. It floods heat to your already-pulsing core more than you’d have thought possible, considering the sweltering temperatures you’ve been in the whole time, but the soft groan that then ripples through your skin from the depths of his throat only makes you more desperate. All of a sudden the long-suffering heat is tepid by comparison, and you yank at the material of his undershirt so hard you nearly rip the fabric.
“Off,” You pant, “Please, take it- get it off, Obi-Wan.”
In a fluid, crouched movement Obi-Wan tears his undershirt off with one hand at its hem, his muscles flexing as he swings the arm up and over his head. He discards the shirt carelessly beneath him and it droops to the floor, no longer covering the bare skin of his chest that you’d admired earlier.
You have half a mind to do to him what he’s been doing to you, to sink your teeth into the flesh of his chest and suckle on his sweat-soaked skin. But he dips his face back to mouth at your tit once more, so you settle for running your hands greedily, desperately over the layer of soft skin that blocks his muscled chest from view. When he was younger, what seems like an eternity but must only be five years, his build was more defined. You’d gotten plenty of eyefuls of his bare, heaving chest during a particularly intense sparring match, or down by one of the large pools that were definitely supposed to be used more for reflection and tranquility rather than the chaos you’d wreaked upon them. But years of planning someone else’s schedule before his own has meant that he’s softened out around the middle, muscles still prominent when you dig your fingers into his skin, just not starkly visible anymore.
Age does that to a person; pushes them harder than ever before to achieve a less-defined result than they’re used to, but you find that you want to grind down onto the thin layer of pudge he’s accumulated just as much as you’d have wanted to drag yourself over his defined abs. The thought of doing both, either, anything makes you dizzy with desire that you express by scratching your sharpened nails down his skin, feeling his muscles shudder beneath your fingers.
“Darling,” He groans, choking on the word like it’s gagged him, “I- I think we ought to- are you ready?”
You marvel at his sincerity, at the idea that he’s not aware of the throbbing, slick mess that your core has become. You’d been ready twenty minutes ago, sprawled out on the floor beneath him, and you’ve only gotten more eager since then. His concern makes you want him more, and you use your grip on his soft hair to tug him upwards to meet your lips in a kiss. 
“I’m ready,” You breathe, laying the words out in a hazy moan over his tongue, “I’m ready, Obi-Wan, please- please take me.”
A groan melts from his mouth like molten butter, dripping over your tongue and down your throat. He pants, lets you suck his tongue into your mouth in a long, eager drag, then mumbles clumsily, “I want you. I want- I want to have you, darling, I want to take you.” His hips roll experimentally against your own, the tight pressure of his clothed cock digging into your panties as he nearly loses the function in the muscles that are holding him up above you.
He lets out another moan as you drag your hips up to meet his premature thrusts, and this time it’s a weaker sound, more strangled and mottled. It’s satisfying, knowing that you’ve reduced the ever-stoic, prized Jedi negotiator Obi-Wan Kenobi to a heaving mass of sweat and desire. His undershorts are rucked up around his meaty thighs, but he hasn’t yanked them off to free his stiff cock yet, so for a moment, all you do is grind against each other. 
The layers of clothing between you, one covering you and two covering him, provide frustrating boundaries but much-needed friction, and the scrape of his rough undershorts dragging against your thin panties makes your fingers curl into his back once more. You suspect that when he wakes tomorrow, your marks will still be there, and you take pride in knowing that he’ll have a very hard time forgetting you.
“Obi-” You really do intend to say his full name, but your breath leaves your lungs too quickly for it, and you revert back to the nickname he’d loathed as a teenager. Too juvenile, he’d protested greatly at the clipped diminutive, but he leans into it now. He licks the word right off of your tongue, his own plunging past your lips and dragging over your teeth in a messy, imprecise fashion. You get the sense that this is not about sex to him, it’s not about mechanics or equations or the perfect formula. It’s about you, and him, and you and him together. He doesn’t kiss you like a storybook prince because he kisses you like Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan wants to lick the spit out of your mouth and suck on your tongue. Obi-Wan wants to feel, not think, for once in his life, so he does.
“Obi-” You falter again, hands traveling from his muscled back to his hips. Your fingers dip beneath the waistband of his undershorts, then his briefs where they lay against the same stretch of skin, “Off. Off, please- Obi-Wan, off, take ‘em- off.”
He grunts his approval into your mouth, obscene squelching sounds coming from where his spit pools between your teeth and your tongue. He reaches down with a blind, clumsy hand to tug at his waistband, but when it doesn’t provide immediate results, he finds himself getting frustrated. It’s an unfamiliar feeling, not the frustration itself but his inability to control it, and he feels his brow crease in irritation as he reluctantly parts from your mouth to focus on the task at hand. All he needs is a little extra leverage to slide his shorts off of his waist, briefs bunched together, and as soon as they’re out of his way he’s reaching for your own underwear.
You crane your neck downwards to watch him, and the glimmering mess of saliva in your mouth practically doubles in volume at the sight of his red-tipped, rock-hard cock. It’s curved slightly up towards his stomach in its desperation, and there’s precum oozing from its tip, foaming and all too appealing. You want to suck him off again, to really choke yourself on it this time and never draw back for air, but there’s no time when he tugs swiftly at the elastic band of your panties, tearing them easily away from you. They drag beneath your thighs but he merely pulls harder, until they spring free and bunch up around your knees.
“Up,” Obi-Wan taps at your left thigh, and you struggle to bend your knees amidst their relentless trembling. He helps you, strength having stuck with him even when composure has abandoned its post. You get your left thigh up first, exposing your glistening cunt, smeared sticky with your own slick. His breath catches, you feel it stutter to a stop in his chest that you’re groping, and his eyes glimmer in the warm lights above you.
“Darling,” He breathes, taken by the mess of your drooling cunt. He reaches out, touches it carefully, with only the pad of his pointer finger. He ghosts it along the side of your slit, and even the infuriatingly chaste touch is ultra erotic. At the way you writhe beneath a single one of his fingers he brings his thumb up to stroke down your slit, catching wetness on his thumb that his mouth opens to accommodate.
He sucks your release clean off of his thumb, you’re almost certain he scrapes his teeth along his skin just to get it all. 
He leans into his own thumb, chases after it like he’s not the one taking it out of his mouth. He hesitates no further in clamoring backwards on the mattress until his knees hit the floor below, and he thanks the Force that the beds you were given are low enough for him to lean over the edge and bury his face in your cunt.
“Obi-Wan, no!” You plead, fingers tangling in his pretty blonde hair, “You’ll- you said- don’t cum yet, please, I- I want it in me!”
“I will cum in you,” He pledges, voice deep and determined as he nudges his nose against your wet cunt, “My darling, I’ll do whatever you ask. But I need you here, now. Please,” He breathes, his exhale shaky and warm as it heats your cunt, “Please, Darling, I want you here.”
“Have me,” You whimper, squirming your hips from side to side to propel yourself down the mattress. Your cunt bumps messily against his face that he doesn’t bother moving, and you buck your hips once, twice against his nose, riding his face, “Please, have me, Obi-Wan, you can have me.”
Your consent is all it takes. His mouth is open and his tongue is out the second you say the word, licking wet, tantalizingly slow stripes up your slit. He doesn’t breach it, doesn’t delve his tongue into your entrance, he laps at the slick smeared on the outside, as well as the wetness that has thoroughly soaked your thighs. Your skin is tacky with it even when he’s replaced it with his spit, and your cunt throbs at the meticulous approach he’s taken to appreciating every drop you give him. 
It’s too meticulous. 
After another slow, careful, nearly chaste lave of his tongue over the crease between your thigh and your cunt, probably just as soaked with sweat as it is with slick, you retighten your now-loose grip in his hair. You’d let go of the strands when he’d given you what you wanted, but now you want more, and you lead him straight to your core where he’d been lapping at your thighs instead.
“Here,” You beg, pulling his face against your drooling cunt until you’re certain he’s unable to breathe. You feel his nose breach your slit, nudged into your cunt by your insistent tugging on his hair.
“I need you here, inside, please.” You beg, pussy aching with abandon. His slow, careful ministrations had driven you mad, and now you are teetering on the edge of insanity as you nearly howl, “Please!”
His response is white-hot and wet. His tongue prods gently from between his lips as his jaw widens, and he watches your reaction as he fills your cunt with his slick tongue. A gush of your own wetness greets him, and as insistent as he is at meeting your eyes, his own flutter shut at the taste.
“Force,” He breathes, and the exclamation is uncommon from him. The muffled, garbled word sends vibrations straight into your cunt, and after the initial shock of his tongue inside of you, you feel his beard.
It scrapes abrasively against the sensitive, licked-over skin of your inner thighs, and prickles deliciously at the base of your leaking cunt. You feel sharp hairs prod at the curve of your ass, and his mouth moves fluidly, tongue wriggling with surprising prowess through the mess of slick you’ve accumulated in your cunt. It slides wetly along your inner walls that have made way for his tongue, and that will stretch eagerly to accommodate his cock. 
His cock, oh, you’d forgotten the thick weight on your tongue, and your jaw aches with the ghost of it. Your cunt aches, too, and when his nose softly bumps your clit you gasp as your hips jolt upwards. He catches your thighs with Jedi agility, his muscles not straining at all to hold you to the mattress. The casual, easy display of strength makes your thighs quiver, and something inside of you tighten like a knot.
He licks you out like he’s drinking ambrosia, the glistening substance smeared over his face and starting up the bridge of his nose. The noises that he makes are hungry and wild as he licks more, sucks more, takes more. He’d moderated himself at first, lapped the sticky spillings of your wet cunt like he was rationing a meal. Now he feasts, tongue losing focus from inside your pussy and rapidly licking over your clit. His lips suction on and his beard burns tantalizingly at your sloppy cunt. You feel stimulation everywhere, the knot below your belly tightening ever-stronger until you feel the beginnings of a fray. It’s a step you take, an incline that you scramble up, and each pedestal you achieve gives way to a higher one. You let yourself climb, climb, climb, against every pulse of his suctioned lips around your sensitive bundle of nerves, and you breach the clouds as Obi-Wan broadens his sucking mouth to half-latch to your clit, his tongue delving back into your drooling cunt. You leap for the final pedestal and a surge of pleasure hits you, soaking wet like a wave that you ride back down to the surface. 
You tremble, you whimper, you love. Your thighs shake, the muscles in your stomach stuttering as your hips jolt and jerk. Your mouth produces such feeble sounds, whines and moans and ‘Oh, please, yes’s, and ‘Obi-Wan- kriff!’s. Your fingers in his hair latch tight but cling gentle, holding him to you as you lose control of yourself in the Force. All of the love, all of the passion, all of the attachment, all of the terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-un-Jedi-like things that you’re not supposed to feel surge through the Force and hit Obi-Wan like Coruscant’s train, knocking the wind out of him, though he never stops sucking at you.
Obi-Wan licks you through your orgasm, tongue pressing tight and hot and wet to the quiver of your cunt, letting it spasm against his mouth. He sucks up every last drop of slick that you’ll give him, greedily mouthing at your cunt long after it’s begun stinging from oversensitivity. You want his mouth off, and his cock in, although that first part sounds like a heinous thing to wish for. His tongue is perfection, slippery and knowing you well enough to hit just the right spots even though it’s never had you before. You only push his mouth away to beg for his cock, but you’re tempted to let him white out your vision and lick at you until he passes out.
“Obi-!” You gasp, pushing instead of pulling at his golden hair, “Obi-Wan, no- no more! Here, up- here, please, and I want you inside of me.”
He lets you unlatch him from your pulsing cunt, rife with the sting of stimulation. You need only a matter of seconds to come down from your high, but they’re seconds you can’t afford to spend on Obi-Wan’s tongue, or the clock won’t ever start. He licks at a smear of slick over your thigh that he’d missed earlier, and his brain seems to register your begging.
“Alright, darling,” He pants, out of breath from the way he’d spent it all in your cunt. His voice is ragged, drowned in slick and thick with want.
He clamors back onto the mattress, all humbly-forged muscles and greed. He hovers over you, and dips down to claim your mouth the way he had your cunt: with broad, sweeping swipes of his tongue. He licks your slick across your tongue, letting you taste yourself on him.
“I’m here,” He soothes, his voice a notch deeper than usual and his words malformed due to the open ring of his mouth. He licks against your tongue once more, sloppy and hot, as his hips grind down against your thigh. He knows you need time but he doesn’t have long, and he grinds against your hip until you’re ready. You feel his stiff cock digging into your flesh, and it sends pulses of energy to your recovering cunt that make it beg to be filled. He’s not composed the way that he normally is, but he’s managing to hold himself together through grunts and groans into your mouth. If you don’t act fast, he’s going to splatter your stomach with cum, which wouldn’t be distasteful by any means, but you’d rather him paint your insides with it.
“You are intoxicating,” Obi-Wan proclaims, speaking directly into your mouth, an addict that can’t wean off of his drug, “I don’t know how I am supposed to pretend like this never happened.”
“Don’t,” You beg breathlessly, “Don’t forget me. Keep quiet around others, and- and when you are alone,” You reach down to take his cock into your hands, heavy and thick and waiting, “When you lay in bed at night, when you touch yourself-” He lets out something teetering on the edge of a whimper as you stroke your hand along his flushed length, an angry red coloring the tip that exposes how much self-control he’s composing, “-touch yourself, and- and think of me. Think of my hands, of my mouth, of my cunt. Think of me, Obi-Wan.”
“I will,” He vows, his voice holding like a frayed rope with one thread remaining, strained and pulling and clinging together, “Please let me have you. Please,” He braces his forehead against yours, his cock throbbing in your palm, “Please darling, let me in. I want to be inside of you, I want to have you, please.”
You’ve never seen him babble before. Not when he’d been seven years old, bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked, caught with a stray tooka cat in his robes halfway back to the creche. Not when he’d been fifteen and a warrior, his side split open in a gory mess of blood and flesh and lymph and bone. Not at his old master’s funeral, the light from the pyre’s flames dancing upon his stoic features. Obi-Wan Kenobi is a master at composure, but he is breathless now, sacrificing it to the dewy-warm crease where your neck meets your shoulder, and sucking up your sweat-salty scent in return.
You place your free hand on his back, sticky and flushed beneath your touch, and use it to help guide him into you. Your other hand, still wrapped around his cock, lines it up with your entrance and he needs little coaxing from there. He pushes himself into you slowly, courteously, but loses himself to some deep, primal urge that he’s buried beneath layers of meditation and balance. 
He comes undone.
His muscles surge and his hips buck in what begins as a steady pace, but transforms into a wild rhythm that pins you against the mattress. He lets out a groan into the sweaty juncture of your neck, something that sounds like it could be from a beast and not a man. You feel the scrape of his beard against the seldom-touched skin there and you’re sure it’s growing raw, but you couldn’t care less. He’s not holding your hips up - his hands are plastered to your side and holding you there with a force carefully and pointedly short of bruising - but you angle your pelvis up anyway, allowing him to hit that much deeper inside of you. The tip of his cock never hurts where it connects briefly each thrust with your cervix, but you feel it intimately, every vein and ridge and curve that his body has to offer. 
You’re grateful for the sound-proof walls of the military compound because you realize after a moment that you’re making noise just the same as he is. It’s softer, quieter, but it’s there, the underlying harmony to his leading grunts and groans. 
All the while he is soft and gentle, because what he wants is not sex, it is you. Perhaps if he were a lesser man, he’d squeeze you, or bend you, or break you, all to take you the way he wants. But it is the soul inside of you that he’s after, and he takes great care with the vessel it’s enclosed in. He holds you, but he does not squeeze you. He kisses you, but he does not bite you. He moves with you, not against you. Your hips surge upwards to meet the thrusts of his cock and he latches his mouth to yours desperately, pleadingly. Your breathing is short and staccato through your nose, fanning against his top lip as he mashes it messily to your own, and you’re much easier to bring to a climax the second time around, sensitivity still roiling in your blood from your previous orgasm.
“Obi-Wan,” You beg, the words spilling languidly into his mouth, as you move in tandem, in, out, in, out, forwards, backwards, everything, nothing.
“Obi- I’m gonna- ooh, I’m gonna cum,” You cry, overwhelmed by the consistent drag of his cock against the walls of your soaked cunt. You’re slick again, gushing enough to replenish however much Obi-Wan had licked out of you. It squelches as he drives his dick into your pussy, foamy from the repetitive motions that are only creating it at faster intervals.
“Please- please do,” He moans, his dick twitching inside of you, “Force, I- ah, there’s nothing I want more than to feel that, darling. Please- please cum, please-”
“Kiss me,” You plead, even though he’s never stopped, if the way that his mouth moves against yours can still be considered a kiss. It’s far from any conventional peck on the lips, mostly tongue and drool that seeps down the side of your mouth and into your neck, mixing with the sweat already lingering there from your workout.
He tries kissing you more neatly, his lips tightening and suctioning around your own, but the closer you both get to your impending orgasms, the sloppier his thrusts are, and the more slack his mouth goes, smothering your own instead of truly kissing it while his tongue continues its dogged pursuit of your own. It’s no matter; his spit leaks uncontrollably into your mouth and you relish the taste. You don’t need perfection, you need him.
You can’t help your wandering hand from snaking down to his waist, curving just below his cock to cradle his balls against your palm. They’re heavy and warm as you take them into your hand, and doing so elicits a gasp from the man chasing his release inside of you, his hips stuttering in their pursuit of the wet warmth of your cunt. You squeeze them, not harshly, just a gentle compression, and Obi-Wan melts. A whimper escapes his lips, still slack and pressed to your own, and though his thrusts momentarily slow, they resume at double the pace. He’s rapidly bucking his hips now, barely containing himself enough to lift one hand off of your side and bring it to your chest. He fits his palm over one of your breasts, your stiff, sensitive nipple caving against his palm. You gasp at the prickling sensation and your fingernails momentarily dig into his back, but when his dick twitches once more inside of you, desperate, fit-to-burst, you drag them down his back in searing red lines.
If you hadn’t been able to feel Obi-Wan cum inside of you, you’d have known it was happening from the cry he releases alone. It’s abrupt, like his orgasm catches him off-guard even though he’s been pursuing it. But you can feel it, you can feel his warm cum ooze out of the head of his cock, momentarily stationary as it’s snug against your cervix. You feel it gush from his dick, filling any and all available space in your pulsating cunt before flooding outwards, dripping down your ass and thighs in an obscene display that soaks right into your bedsheets. Obi-Wan rides out his climax at a pace rapid enough to coax your second one out of you, and you welcome the now-familiar sensation of cumming around Obi-Wan. It’s mind-numbing, your ears ring for a faint moment, and your cunt rapidly clenches and unclenches around his cock that’s all too happy to continue occupying the space.
He grunts, moans, and groans as his sloppy thrusts finally slow, and your cunt appreciates the reduced pace. You’re well and truly spent, difficult to achieve for someone who’d gone through endurance training since childhood, and you’re not surprised that Obi-Wan, too, needs a break. He lowers himself to your chest with a slow, shaky exhale, eyes closed and face glistening with sweat just as your own does. 
His beard grates roughly against your skin, shifted with every ragged breath that he draws in. His hair spills over the breast that his mouth isn’t nestled beside, and you stare down at his face, marveling how beautiful his barely-fluttering lashes and heaving chest are.
Before he opens his eyes he angles it towards you, so that the first thing he sees is your flushed, sweaty, open-mouthed expression. He’s in the perfect position to kiss the side of your breast, and it tingles with the phantom sensation of his palm flat against your perked nipple barely minutes before. His beard scrapes your skin like it has since you first kissed him, and you wonder if you’ll ever be able to live happily without the scratch of it against your cheeks, or thighs, for that matter. The skin between your legs is still raw, stinging with the friction of Obi-Wan’s coarse hair against your flesh..
“You look beautiful, darling,” He hums, his voice grated raw from fatigue. His breath fans hot over your chest, but he pushes himself up on his tired biceps to hover over you. His weight against you had been comforting, but his gaze is even more so, and you let him loom over you.
His chest, peppered with auburn curls so fine they glisten in the poor lighting of your quarters, rises and falls deeply in front of you. You have half a mind to bury your face in it; you might if his face wasn’t impossibly more captivating.
His eyes search yours, for what you’re not sure, but you realize that his breathing gets more shallow until his chest stills completely. He only releases his breath when you reach up to thumb gently at his sternum, loosening his lungs again.
“Do you regret it?”
You suppose you didn’t have to ruin the moment so harshly, but you want to know the truth. You want to know if this was worth it, or if you’re going on the list of regrets that Obi-Wan pours over obsessively.
He takes a moment to answer, but you suspect it’s because he’s been caught off guard by your question. He shakes his head, dipping his face down to kiss the swell of your cheek.
“No, I don’t.” He mumbles against the dewy skin of your face, hiding his words there in self-preservation. You kiss the fleeting scruff of his beard as he pulls away, and your eyes find the blue of his instantly.
“You needed convincing at first,” You recall warily, something sinking in your chest now that you’re not puppettered by lust, “Are you certain it was the right thing to do?”
“Not at all,” He admits, “In fact, I think it was wrong of me. But I’ve done it anyways, and I am happy for that.”
“Why wrong?” You ghost your knuckles against his cheek, and he leans into it like he used to do when you’d clean scrapes and cuts he’d acquire while sparring. 
“I am more attached to you now than ever,” He offers simply, but it doesn’t seem like it pains him to confess. He seems lighter now, less embroiled in his own anxiety.  “And I’m not certain I can keep my personal feelings- well, personal. I don’t know that I could think rationally about you. That’s not desirable to the Order, or to the war effort.”
You bite your tongue, teeth digging softly into its muscle.
“All the same,” He continues, “Jedi are not without attachments. Younglings form friendships in the creche, and their minders love them. Padawans love their Masters, and vice versa. Masters engage in relations,” He acknowledges, then his brows tick up and he considers, “Ki Adi Mundi has four wives. Perhaps I’m not the most blasphemous Jedi they’ve ever seen.”
A laugh comes tumbling from your lips before you can stop it, and Obi-Wan’s face softens into a grin of his own.
“Five,” You correct him, “He has five wives.”
“Force, he’s a heretic,” Obi-Wan exclaims, but it’s all for show; he holds no ill opinions of the council member.
“I’m happy for his wives,” You hum, the sound just short of a giggle, “But I prefer your beard over his.”
“Oh, but he’s got a better mustache than me,” Obi-Wan settles on his side facing you, a smile etched permanently into his features as he plays along with the banter you’ve started. He relishes its lighthearted nature compared to the hesitance of moments prior, “Maybe I should grow it out and curl it like his.”
Before you can offer him another round in exchange for a promise to never shape his facial hair around Master Mundi’s, the walls of your compound give a creaky grinding sound, then a rumble, and air whooshes through the vents you’ve come to loathe for their uselessness in the recent past.
“He did it!” You gawk, sitting up excitedly, nearly forgetting that you’re topless, “Oh Force, Anakin’s a wizard! He really is, he’s a mechanical wizard, and I’m going to buy him a speeder for this.”
“Do not,” Obi-Wan groans, sitting up beside you and tugging you easily to fit your back against his chest, “The last thing that boy needs is the ability to go faster.”
“He did it,” You sigh happily, leaning back and pressing your lips to Obi-Wan’s. He reciprocates easily now, unlike before when he’d run himself ragged with doubts.
“That means we’ll be off soon,” Obi-Wan reminds you gently, and you deflate slightly in his hold, “But I don’t think comming each other should be any issue.”
“Every night?” You suggest, kissing at the prickly cleft of his chin.
“That’s- ambitious.” He chuckles, but it’s not meant to tease, “Every night, darling.”
“You can send me dirty videos,” You gush, scrambling to free yourself from Obi-Wan’s hold when he tries locking his fingers onto your sides, nipping sharply at your shoulder.
“I will not!” He insists, voice firm but chest trembling with barely-withheld laughter, “Force, if I pressed the wrong button…”
“Perhaps Master Mundi could share it with one of his wives,” You laugh, scrambling back into your underclothes and heading for the fresher to clean yourself up, “Hurry up and get dressed, Obi-Wan, one of my troopers is probably on their way to tell us the good news!”
Your suspicions are confirmed only moments later, thankfully, after you’ve both had time to right your appearances. You look flushed and sweaty, if anything, but the cool air hasn’t managed to flood the entire compound yet, and you’ve been exercising, so it’s excusable. No one but you two needs to know that exercising didn’t mean sparring for longer than ten minutes.
“Anakin, you’re fantastic,” You call, rushing through the empty hangar where he’s standing near the ramp of the ship, “You’ve saved us all. I’m fairly certain my troops would have resorted to fratricide if we’d had to melt here for any longer.”
The padawan gives you a valiant effort at a polite chuckle, and you press on, “For the record, I told your master I’d get you a speeder for helping us today, but he said no.”
“Y/N,” Obi-Wan starts, exasperated, but catches himself on the use of your first name. Perhaps it feels different now, coming out of his mouth much more measured than it had only twenty minutes prior. He doesn’t speak further.
Anakin’s eyes briefly glint at the fantasy of his own speeder, but he controls himself quickly. He’s a credit to his master, who manages to look convincingly like he hadn’t just broken a very long streak of celibacy. Still, you appreciate that war hasn’t managed to suck the most basic of excitements out of the child, and you reach up to pat his cheek in a gesture distinctly un-Jedi like. 
“Take care of yourself, and don’t let Obi-Wan bore you with a million lectures on economics, or politics, or the two combined.”
Anakin nods, but bites his lower lip to refrain from smirking, saving himself a lecture on sass later on. You hear Obi-Wan exhale huffily behind you, and you turn your attention to him when Anakin retreats onto the ship.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t add to my apprentice’s willfulness,” He grouses, but the corner of his mouth twitches upwards in fondness for you both, “He’s got enough of that on his own.”
“Take care of yourself,” You ignore his teasing, your voice tender and sweet, slightly more than it had been for Anakin, “I know they don’t send you out much, because he’s only fourteen, but- but please take care of yourself, Obi-Wan.”
Perhaps if Anakin hadn’t been lingering on the ramp of the ship, perhaps if there weren’t five clone troopers stationed in the hangar, perhaps if you were the only two people in the world, like it had felt less than an hour ago, Obi-Wan would have kissed you. But he doesn’t, all he does is nod, 
“We will,” He vows, and you nod, satisfied.
“I mean it,” You continue, more threatening than your earlier sentiment, “Comm me.” And you think back to the request you’d made earlier, breathlessly, the words fanning out against his sweaty skin, “And… think of me.”
You know he’s recalling the same moment in time when his cheeks tinge pink.
“I will,” He promises, singular this time, confirming your suspicions that his mind is flashing with visions of your flushed skin beneath his hands, “And please take care of yourself, too, General.”
Something hard and aching tugs at the back of your throat at the honorific, such a far cry from the intimacy you’d shared. But now you are General Y/L/N, and he is Master Kenobi, and that is the way things must be in the presence of others.
“Master Kenobi,” You bow, bending at the waist and noting the soft tug of soreness there.
“General Y/L/N,” Obi-Wan mimics your gesture, hands folded neatly into the sleeves of his robes.
He turns. He pivots on his feet and strides up the ramp of the ship they’d taken, Anakin waiting until he’s passed through the doorway to follow behind him. The door hisses shut, concealing them both, and the mechanical whiz-kid has the engines powered up in no time. You watch their ship take flight and navigate the narrow entrance to your hangar with ease, waiting until they’ve passed each temperature-isolating layer of defense that enshroud your compound and disappear into the planet’s heat-hazy atmosphere to turn away.
“General,” One of your troopers lingers behind you, “Is everything alright?”
“Yes,” You put on a convincing show, smiling serenely, “I’d just forgotten how much of a challenge sparring with Master Kenobi is. I’m fatigued; I think I’ll retire to my quarters for some rest.”
“General,” He nods, stating your title like a vow of loyalty, standing at attention as the hangar doors finally shut you in. 
You walk the familiar path to your sparse quarters absentmindedly, feeling that same twinge of achiness each time you take a step. Only once your door hisses shut do you release the prim tension in your shoulders, slumping and slouching like you’d just escaped the throes of battle. 
There is a shirt on your bed.
It’s white, though it’s been worn thoroughly, so the color is muddied ever so slightly with the tan tinge of sweat. It’s rumpled, from a hasty removal. It’s laid over your poor excuse for a blanket, cream-colored against the starkly contrasting black fabric. It’s impossible to miss, which means it had to have been placed there deliberately; it wasn’t forgotten.
It’s Obi-Wan’s.
You overcome your momentary stun and pad towards the bed, reaching for the shirt with a hesitant hand. You take it, feel it ever-so-slightly damp with lingering perspiration, and your stomach flips.
It’s Obi-Wan’s; it’s yours.
The shirt winds up snug around your pillow, tucked beneath the Republic-issue linen. It’s invisible to the outside eye, but when your nose is pressed gauchely into the pillowcase you can smell Obi-Wan through it, a mix of natural and artificial scents.
The musk of cologne and the acrid smell of sweat. Composure and lust. What is right and what is wrong.
You and Obi-Wan.
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feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think!
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Not too smutty but--
Shimmer!Kane is definitely the type to keep your bed "messy" by average standards but insists the blankets are arranged specifically to be a "nest".
Every time you remake the bed, twenty minutes later you come back and it's a mess again; blankets piled and arranged almost perfectly in the middle, pillows strategically placed for the most comfort...
You ask him why but he can't really tell you (instincts, duh!). But it's perfect to snuggle in! (And y'know nice and cosy to pound your brains out later if you want)
I am screaming over this!! (Also I'm so sorry this took me so long!)
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Shimmer!Kane x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • ko-fi •
A/N: My brain is just like is this a one shot? Is there a part two? What am I doing? Also I have to tag @ominoose just because all of their amazing Kane fics and head canons have just shaped my brain.
Warnings: pining, dry humping, over use of italics, typos, not beta read, railroad sentences, please let me know if I've missed a warning!
Word Count: 811
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“Kane, what the fuck?” You sigh, no real heat in your words. 
He looks up at you from where he’s crouched over the bed, the faintest hint of a quizzical expression on his features. 
“What are you doing?” 
He shakes his head a minute, obviously not understanding. 
“I just made the bed, and now you’ve,” you gesture half-heartedly, “done whatever this is.” 
The pillows were piled seemingly haphazardly in the middle, the duet cover bundled up. As you looked you realised that he had also brought the bedding from his own bed onto yours. 
“It’s fine when it’s just your bed, but can you not come in here and mess with mine?”
You’d been assigned to ‘monitor’ him, try to help him adjust back into everyday life after… whatever happened. You weren’t privileged with the details, or even the vague notion.
He continues to look at you with that quiet stare he had, like he was trying to read the dictionary definition for every single word you said. 
You sigh again, moving towards the bed and beginning to put your pillows back at the top of the bed. 
Kane stood quickly, putting his hand softly on your forearm to stop you. You stare at him, a small frown of confusion on your face. 
When he doesn’t say anything for a moment you move to continue your task, but his grip tightens. 
“Stop.” He whispers, his voice barely audible. 
Your frown deepens. “What? Why?” 
You swallow as he stares intently at you, his lips slightly parted, his pupils dilated. It’s only now that you realise how close he’s standing to you. 
“Kane?” You whisper, your heart thudding in your throat. 
He was handsome, of course he was. But looks weren’t everything. 
He was kind, considerate. He listened when you talked, did little things to be helpful, affectionate. He made you drinks without even asking, usually bringing them to you a second after you realised you were thirsty. When the temperature dropped close to freezing a few weeks ago, he’d warm blankets in the tumble dryer and bring them to you, offer you hot water bottles and put your slippers by the radiator when you weren’t wearing them. 
He liked to be in the garden, around plants and animals and taking care of things. The apple tree hadn’t stopped blossoming, despite its leaves coming in since he’d been here. The forget-me-knots hadn’t been hampered by the late frost. Bumble bees and butterflies gathered around the honeysuckle that had bloomed exceptionally early, its sudden growth spurt meaning it was now covering most of the back wall it leant against. 
You liked him being here. 
You liked him. 
Kane carefully placed his hands on your shoulders and gently guided you with your back to the bed before he slowly moved you, urging you to sit  and then lay in the middle of the pillows and blankets. 
You stared up at him, a little bewildered as he climbed in next to you. 
“Comfortable?” He asked in that soft voice of his, but you weren’t sure if it was really a question or just an affirmation. You nod your head anyway. 
He pressed his lips together, deep in thought for a moment on your reaction, before he moves to lay on top of you, pressing his thighs between yours and settling his hips against yours. 
You freeze out of surprise. He’s never done something so bold before. You look up at him, his nose barely an inch from yours. 
Your mouth goes dry, anxiety building under his heavy gaze, like a scientist looking at a specsamin in a jar. 
“Kane,” you whisper, “what are you doing?”
“Are you uncomfortable?” 
You shake your head without thinking and there’s a little flicker of emotion that crosses his face. Satisfaction, you think. 
“Why, erm,” your mind is short circuiting with him this close, the warmth radiating off his skin, the sweet, almost floral smell that permanently surrounds him fills your lungs. The way the hard outline of his cock presses against your core. “Why did you bring your blankets in here?” You blurt out. 
“Making a nest,” he says simply, like that was all the information you would need. “Wanted it to smell like us.” 
He dips his head lower, nuzzling against the side of your neck and breathing deeply. 
“A nest?” You gasp as he rocks his hips against yours, leaning closer so that your chests are flush. 
“Hmm.” He continues to run his lips and cheeks over your neck, feeling your skin and sighing contently. All the while he rolls his hips languidly, dragging his cock against your heat. 
You can’t hold back the shudder and whine as his fly presses deliciously against your clit. 
While it doesn’t hamper his movements, the sound obviously amuses him and he focuses his actions solely on making you repeat it.
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Thank you for reading!
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pkochetkov · 1 year
Text
[smut] baby zegras
pairing: trevor zegras x fem! reader
summary: trevor wants a baby and he wants one now
authors note: this took soooo long lowk hate the middle-end but whatevs
warning: trevor is a horny freaky fuck, bad words, breeding kink, children, pregnancy
gif not mine!
masterlist
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trevor has always known that whatever his future had in store for him he wanted you in it. he had fallen in love with you from the moment he saw you at the age of seven, you six. he never got over the little girl with pink bows holding her pigtails in, who smiled a big grin at him and introduced herself, and certainty didn’t get over her when she became his best friend (he quickly made her his girlfriend after an impromptu sleepover during which she realized she didn’t bring her own clothes and had to wear his).
when trevor had gotten drafted, he knew that with his future pretty much figured out he needed to ensure that you’d be there forever, so he proposed. you of course said yes, i mean, who wouldn’t.
you’re still engaged nearly 4 years later, neither of you in too much of a rush to actually have the wedding and continue up the ladder just yet. you were never shy to talk about your future and what it could hold, and trevor definitely wasn’t shy about telling you he wanted to “fill you up” over and over again.
his little heart was bursting at its seams as he watched you playing with his little cousins and his teammates’ kids. so full, in fact, that he had to drag you home early.
early so he could drag you up to your shared room and rip your clothes off, and that he did. trevor grabbed the hem of your shirt and ripped in half, earning a gasp and scolding “trevor!” from you.
“i’ll buy you another one.” he said and began pressing messy wet kisses down your sternum, your nipples hardening from the cold air and the overwhelming lust that you felt. his kisses moved even lower, stopping just above the button of your denim shorts.
trevor skipped over them for now, moving his head so he can press kisses against your inner thigh. he could feel the heat coming from your cunt, the place you needed him the most, but he wasn’t going to give in and fuck you. not yet anyway. he wanted you to finish by his mouth or fingers before stuffing you full of his cock.
“y’looked so good playing with all the babies today. couldn’t get the thought of fucking you full out of my head.” you moaned at his words and trevor began unbuckling your shorts pulling them and your panties down your legs.
he ran his fingers through your folds, collecting the evidence of your arousal on his fingers. trevor dipped his fingers into your entrance pulling them right back out before he passed the first knuckle and used the remnants to helps his fingers glide over your clit.
“trev, do something please. it hurts.” you nearly sobbed. trevor is a huge tease, always has been and always will be. he teased you in the bronco on the way home, for example. placing his hand at the top of your thigh and stroking clit over your shorts and underwear, making you more turned on than you are just looking at him.
he gave into your pleads and placed his tongue flat against your entrance, moving it up to your clit. the contact made your legs tremble, loud moans leaving your mouth. thank god jamie isn’t home yet.
“you always look so pretty from this angle, baby.” trevor’s words vibrated against your clit, causing your thighs to clamp shut on his head. he smacked his hand against your right thigh and when you didn’t pull them open he forced them. this seemed to make the pleasure more overwhelming and your orgasm came quicker than expected.
trevor licked you clean and came up to kiss you, the taste of yourself on his lips was enough to make you needy again and he could tell.
he pulled away and began undressing, first his loose jersey, followed by the black under shirt and his sweatpants.
you we’re getting inpatient, and turned on. watching him strip seemed like it took forever and while you were still spent from your previous orgasm, you needed another.
while trevor was somewhat distracted, your hand slid down to your clit. it was still sensitive from trev’s previous assault on it but the circles your fingers were moving in felt so good. they glided easily from the cum and spit left down there after trevor’s messy clean up.
“uh uh, nope. no ma’am. move them.” trevor snapped his fingers at you and you whined out at him, “but trevor, please.” the man in front of you moved your hands away from your clit, bringing them up with his own to rest above your head.
trevor leaned his head down, connecting his lips with your own, rutting his hips against yours. his cock slid between your folds rubbing your clit before pausing at your entrance.
“you ready baby?” you nodded and trevor pushed in, moans leaving both of you.
trevor’s thrusts started off slow, trying to convey the love he felt for you with calm, languid movements. though, they didn’t last very long.
trevor sat up and released your hand from his own choosing instead to grab a pillow from under your head and put it under your waist.
“i’m gonna fuck a whole hockey team into this cunt. you want that, mama?” before you could reply trevor began slamming into you at a pace that left you breathless.
your body felt like it was on fire. every collision of your hips, everytime his tip pressed against your cervix, every dirty thought about breeding you that fell from trevor’s lips made you feel like you’d combust.
“you’re gonna look so pretty, so full of my babies.”
“god this cunt is so perfect, can’t wait ‘til i’m leaking from it.”
trevor’s pace never let up, if anything it got more and more intense the closer he got to his own high, your own still coming at a blinding rate.
the man above you paused to lean over, connecting you hands above your head once more. you looked up at your fiancé and he down at you. the pleasure he provided became overwhelming and before you could warn him, you came.
trevor, ever the gentleman, talked you through it before his own orgasm followed. he never stopped, fucking his release deep into you.
he collapsed on top of you, still supporting himself as to not crush you.
“trevor,” he hummed, “as much as i love you over me, i need to pee.”
the man above you immediately shook his head, “absolutely not. i am not risking any of my babies ending up on the floor.”
“well would you like to hold them in while i pee?”
“i mean if you’re offering…”
“trevor zegras! that was a joke!”
“i’d hardly think so.”
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liked by nhl, anaheimducks, trevorzegras and 349,760 more…
yourusername: baby zegras coming soon!
tagged: trevorzegras
comments on this post have been limited.
trevorzegras: ❤️❤️
yourusername: we love you ❤️
jackhughes: so excited to be the favorite uncle
anaheimducks: baby duck coming soon! 🧡
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leah-lover · 6 months
Text
Built-up frustration. Mary earps × reader.
Smut 18+
Mary frustrated after a derby loss and she takes it out on reader.
Saying Mary is disappointed would be an understatement. After yet another Manchester derby loss, the whole team was disappointed. The team knew that Mary was always hard on herself and was gonna blame all the 3 goals that were scored on herself. So they weren't surprised when she directly went to the changing room after the final whistle blew. I on the other hand was more tired and numb than angry. Football had become a nightmare rather than a joy. Mark had been so very hard on us as of late. We were running ourselves through the ground trying to make up for losses, not disappointing our fans and ourselves. It was all too much, too much responsibility, too much to make up for, I just wanted to shut it all off. However, I had a team that counted on me. I was the captain, I had to be strong for all of them. 
After shaking hands with our rivals and doing media duties, I headed to the changing room, showered, and got dressed. Since Mary got there before me she changed, and was waiting for me to finish. 
We said our goodbyes to the girls and headed to our car.
We managed to stay silent throughout the whole car ride. Since our house was far away from the stadium, I put my head on Mary’s shoulder while she was driving. However, her hand didn't find its usual place on my thigh, it was placed on the center console. I didn't give it much attention deciding that she just needed her space for now.
When we arrived home, we went by our usual routine. Mary put our stuff away while I heated our dinner. Lost in my own mind, I didn't pay attention to the fact that Mary and I haven't spoken since before the game. I only realized that while eating my dinner that he had not touched any of .
“ Baby, talk to me.” I started while reaching out for her hand.
“There isn't much to say, “ she responded.
Her response shocked me. Yes, she was hard on herself but I have never seen her like this. 
“ Honey, please don't do this. I love you. You need to talk to me, you need to get these feelings out of your chest. You have been a prisoner to them for far too long.” I said, a small smile on my face. 
“ What do you want me to say? I am shit, a disappointment, I don't deserve you, I don't want to do this. Please just don't make me talk. Please.” She pleaded.
I then quickly got up, put her hand in mine and led her up to our bad room.
Once we got there, I let go of her hand and sat on our shared bed.
“ You always say that I am your good girl. Let me help you Mary.” I say as I undress myself starting from my shirt. 
“ I love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are the best that I have ever seen. You need to get this out of your system so that you can love the game again.” I said as I sat completely naked.
With a helpless look on her face she said” I don't want to hurt you.” 
“ I am your good girl. I will take whatever you give me.” I responded.
And with that she launched me back on our bed. 
We quickly started kissing. The kiss was hungry, messy, and almost violent. We proceeded to make out for a while while her hand rubbed my side and traced all over my body.
“ Mary please, I need you so bad.” I pleaded.
She then ,while still making out with me, reached for the drore wear she kept her strap.
After undressing herself, she wore the harness. She unusually took the biggest strap she had which she rarely used. After the harness was secured she said with the raspiest voice. “ Now you are gonna be a good girl and show me how much you need me.” 
That was my que, I left the bed, got on my knees, and started to suck on her strap. It was too big for my mouth so I was stroking it slowly. Mary, not happy with my pace, grabbed the back of my head and started to thrust in my mouth roughly. Lost in her own thoughts, she continued to thrust even harder and deeper. I was about to tap out when she said “that’s a good girl, taking what I give her without any complaint, you deserve a reward my darling.” 
She then got out of my mouth, and helped me up the bed. 
Without warning she spread my legs and slid the tip of her strap in me. The feeling was supring and painful. However my arousal helped it fit right inside me.
Mary was on top of me thrusting harder and harder with each second. It's like she was fucking all her pain, shame and insecurity out of me. 
“ I need to come Mary please let me come.” I pleaded.
“ Hold on for me baby girl.” She replied while still thrusting harder.
After a little bit I couldn't hold on any more.
“ Baby please let me come please.” I pleaded with tears in my eyes.
“Okay, come for me darling.” She said,
I quickly held on to her shoulders as I came.
Mary’s consciousness seemingly came back to her, she got out of me, took off the harness, and held me.
" I am so sorry darling, I was hard on you. The strap was too big and I was too rough. I am so sorry.” She said as she held close to her chest.
“ It’s okay darling. I love you. Please never shut me off again.” I replied.
“ I am gonna go prepare a bath. I will be quick.” she said before leaving only to come back a few minutes later to carry me to the bath.
“ I will do anything for you baby.” I said as I nuzzled my head in her head.
“ That’s why you are my good girl. the girl that I love.” She replied.
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erenoir · 1 year
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𝐟𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮
💿 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚏𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚣𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛
genre: single father!toji, slow burn, angst then fluff, nsfw, MDNI
warnings: 18+ dark content, alcoholism, breeding kink, daddy/mommy titles used, unprotected sex, oral sex, verbal fighting, discussions of abandonment, initial toxic relationship, light gun use.
featuring: toji x fem step-mom!reader
summary: you and toji had met each other at your worst, twin flames fueling each other’s bad habits. you spent weeks upon weeks as on-and-off fuck buddies, manipulating and using each other before throwing one another to the curb again. nothing could save the turbulent relationship of a touch-deprived woman and a man afraid of love, never daring to wave your white flags to one another… until the night toji dropped a bomb that would make or break the two of you forever. | find it on ao3: [☆]
word count: 14.9k
a/n: tell jesus that the bitch is back- i’m kidding! no but really, its been a long year (or more?) of me being away from this blog. i haven't done this in a while, but i have too many delusions and thoughts to not make them into stories, i missed writing too much. anyways, if you like this: reblog, comment, check out my other stuff, etc! luv u xx send toji thirsts in honor of szn 2
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“Okay now Megs, daddy and I will be back tomorrow morning, okay?” 
Your knees pressed into the cold floor as your fingers tangled themselves in your stepson’s wild, raven locks. The little boy stuck his bottom lip out in protest, your heart swelling at the sight of it. Your thumb met his velvety skin as you stopped a tear from rolling any further down his rouged cheek. 
“I don’t want you and daddy to go!” He wailed, a tiny voice strained with big emotions. The glum boy ran into your open arms, clinging to you like velcro. The creamy silk of your blazer swept across the nape of his neck as you enveloped him into a cozy embrace.
“Oh Megumi, you’ll be alright! Your father and I will just be away for the night. Then tomorrow… I can make you all the pancakes in the world for dinner!” His eyebrows knit together and his rosy nose scrunched up as you shook his face in your hands. Little Megumi's messy, toothless grin punctured your heart so deeply. You adored the boy endlessly, even if he wasn’t your son by blood, a connection so spirited manifested itself between the two of you. 
“Really mommy?! Do you really mean all of the pancakes in the world?” You let a gentle fingertip feather itself across the tip of Megumi’s nose as you rose to your feet to ruffle the boy’s hair, “Of course I mean it baby! Daddy will do whatever it takes to get you every last drop of pancake batter in the whole, wide, world… isn’t that right, honey?”
You shifted your weight to your left foot to get a good look at Toji, Megumi’s father. He planted himself in his usual crushed velvet armchair that rested in front of the fireplace, thighs sprawled out across the plush cushion. His cheek sunk into the palm of his hand as he ogled at his precious family. 
All mine, Toji thought, all fucking mine. 
The brooding man sauntered up to you two with ardency, his husky arms snaking around your waist, pulling your backside into his chest and placing a wet kiss to the crook of your neck. Toji rested his hand atop of Megumi’s hair, nearly drowning your little one’s head with its size. You gazed on dotingly as your lover’s biceps contracted when he picked up your son, cooing him into a comfortable silence. The fireplace illuminated the quaint living space an intimate shade of orange, fractals of light bouncing off of the most hidden corners of the room. The shadow of your lover danced across the walls as he rocked the raven-haired child to sleep. You massaged red fingernails into his burly shoulders, feeling the fabric of his black t-shirt ripple between your fingertips.
“We’re so lucky, aren’t we?” You purred into Toji’s neck as you two caressed the light of your lives, sound asleep in his arms. Toji peered over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of you, watching your maternal instincts consume your body as you outstretched your soft hands to the boy. Something within Toji burst in that moment, seeing his lover care for his child as if he were her own. 
“Let me take him to bed, my love.” Dark eyes trailed your steps attentively, watching your hips sway as you cradled his son in your nimble arms, your tender hand nurturing the back of his head, holding it tightly to your chest. His pupils dilated when you started whispering lullabies into Megumi’s ear. A  series of “Mommy loves you,” and “I’ve got you my baby,” made Toji’s jaw clench and every part of him swell with adoration.
You once arrived in Toji’s life as a fiery little creature. Wild, uncaring, and foaming at the mouth for attention. He didn’t see you as anything other than a friend with benefits. It was a fair exchange, Toji satiated your need for unhealthy attention as a girl disowned by her distant parents, and you satiated his need for a little rag doll as a hitman with a severe lack of emotional intelligence. He needed a woman that would do most anything to please him and receive the gratification she so desperately craved in return. Room 4C, that was the room you two would run away to every weekend. 
It was a malignant relationship you had, you were unabashedly toxic to one another. Toji would show up drunk on most occasions, and you would allow him to do whatever he wanted to your feeble little body and enjoy every second of it. You would fight just to see who could scream louder, until the misty light from the sun rising sliced through the cracks of the thick curtains. The old motel would’ve kicked you two out if it weren’t for how much business you brought them. Your eyes stung with crazed tears, both of pleasure and pain, and Toji was the one that induced them every time. Every smack to the cheek was met with a tender kiss, and every “I hate you,” was met with a chorus of apologies. You loved each other in wicked ways, but you loved each other nonetheless. You pushed as Toji pulled, never could either of you find a moment of peace to let your fragile emotions rest.
That was until one night where you asked Toji to meet you in your usual room, at your usual time, 8 p.m. Only that night had you two finally waved your white flags and extinguished your venomous behavior to one another.
Your toes were painted a wine red as they ran through the fuzzy carpet below you, feet swinging over the twin-sized motel bed. Rain rushed the windows with fervor, the storm warning you had received this morning not clicking in your brain until that very moment. The muffled voices of the news anchors suffocated your eardrums as they grew louder. The silence in the room was painstaking and you didn’t know how much longer you could last solely listening to the rhythmic drips of the leaking bathroom sink. Your eyelids began to droop as the neon leds of the plastic alarm clock flicked from 8:59 to 9:00. The stiff sheets felt like royal silk at that moment, sleep threatening to consume your body. The room around you shut on and off, eyelids blinking slowly, and your mouth dipping into the slightest “o” shape. the cotton of your t-shirt rode up your thighs as you slid yourself under the covers. Toji isn’t coming tonight, truthfully, the thought grazed your mind when it had only been ten minutes after 8, Toji was never any more tardy than that. But as you watched the clock now switch from 9:04 to 9:05, the hint of betrayal that had felt like a pin prick before now felt like you’d just been gutted. 
Your body was swallowed in the darkness of the motel room, though you did leave the news on, maybe the late night anchors could keep you company in your lover’s absence. In your dream you saw the dark eyes that taunted you into submission. How pathetic was it to dream about a man who couldn’t care less about you besides what you had underneath your underwear? In your dream you were running, your earthly body was riddled with cold sweats and shivering into oblivion, you heard pounding, it grew rapidly with every step you took, the beat of your heart staying in time, though the pounding felt too real to be fabricated through your imagination alone.
Then your body jolted awake to a vigorous gust of wind, and suddenly the banging became real, and whoever demanded that kind of attention from you at midnight was about to receive a pounding to their face. With your eyes cloudy and vision blurred, you tried to adjust to the dark blue of your surroundings. 
“Ah, shit!” The stark yellow light of the bedside lamp blinded you, a shaky hand rested on your forehead to act as a shield to the harsh, artificial rays. The comforter of the rigid bed you laid on grew wet, rainwater dripping from the dark figure that stood above your tired body. 
“T-Toji?” You stammered into the abyss, you had no courage to look up and see who had woken you up from your restless slumber. After all, you didn’t want the last thing you saw to be your murderer. 
“No, it’s Megumi,” your hand snapped to your side to see from whom such a soft voice was emitted. Above you stood a small boy with porcelain skin and raven hair, he couldn’t have been more than 6 years old.
My god, you thought, he looks just like-
“Toji is my dad, he said to wait in this room while he- while he got m-more of his happy juice… s-so he pushed me through th-that window a-and n-now my knee is bleeding!”
The young boy who tried to remain stoic eventually broke into a fit of relentless tears. He's a child, he’s a- he’s Toji’s… Toji has a child. Your brain went through the motions, trying to ride every wave of the ocean it was thrown into. 
Until one of those waves truly hit you- and you realized that there was a fucking child in your room.
And all of the sorrow you felt for the boy had turned into pure, unadulterated rage for his poor excuse of a father. 
You peeled yourself from the bed and tripped over the legs of your jeans as you tried to shrug them on while making your way to the door. Your hand stopped at the knob before turning to the kid. 
“Fuck… don’t go anywhere, okay kid?” You mumbled as you fished the pack of Marlboro's from the back pocket of your Levi’s and jammed one into your mouth, busting through the door and into the rainy parking lot… search frantically- ferally, for the one person you were dying to see most.
“Where the FUCK are you?! You asshole!” You screamed, voice cracking. “Show your fucking face you… you coward!” You were speechless, running to the middle of the parking lot, and scanning every dark car for someone hiding out- hiding from you. The rain sunk through your tank top, goosebumps pricking your skin, and then next you felt the tears. He was the last person you wanted to cry for, he didn’t deserve it, the fucker would probably enjoy it if you didn’t know him any better.
“Fuck you!” You seethed, bare feet taking you in circles around the flooded lot. “Fuck! You! I hate you!” The tears finally poked through, staining your cheeks with old mascara.
“You always do this shit Toji Fushiguro! I hope you’re fucking dead! You fucking deadbeat father!”
After twenty minutes of your parking lot charades, the motel manager had to nearly drag you back to your room- a freezing cold, screaming maniac. The boy- Megumi, was sitting next to you cross-legged on the bed with a patched up knee and an ice cream sandwich from the vending machine three rooms down. He hummed to the tune of the children’s show that played on the television, swaying back and forth in contentment. The fact that you were babysitting the child of the man that you were fuck buddies with amused you as you scoffed to yourself. 
“You know… your dad didn’t tell me had a kid,” the little boy’s attention remained fixed on the screen, ignoring you completely while his dark eyes memorized the flashes of color and cartoons in front of him. Hm, he really is Toji’s kid. 
“How's your knee, Megs?” Your fingers ran across the pink bandaid you’d stuck over his scrape, making sure the adhesive wasn’t lifting off of his damp skin. Vanilla filling seeped through Megumi’s tiny fingers. Chocolate crumbles littered his plump cheeks as he stuck the final bite of his ice cream sandwich in his mouth, stuffing his cheeks full. 
“My knee is fine!” He mumbled through a full mouth, patting his sticky palm over his wound. Your mind toyed with the idea of whether or not now was a good time to mention his father again, but knowing Toji, if you didn’t mention him he wouldn’t even bother coming back. So keeping the boy’s best interest at heart, you casually brought up his father’s name for a second time. 
“Megumi… can you tell me where your dad is?” You folded your hands in your lap as you awaited his response. Tears pricked at the boy’s gloomy eyes, a storm just as tumultuous was raging in him as it was outside. Messy palms wiped themselves across his white race car shirt, before they came up to wipe at his face.
“I-I told you… he s-said he was going to get more of his happy juice… he said to wait here with a lady named ___. Th-that’s what he said to do!”
Megumi’s quiet words turned into an erratic tantrum. Tears flooded his eyes as he snorted up a wad of snot, the race car on his shirt slowly starting to drive on wet roads. You were going to kill Toji. You didn’t give a crap about the way he treated you anymore, he had a child who was helpless. And god knows the child was helpless if the person Toji decided to leave him with was you. 
The docile boy leaned sweetly into your arms, begging for some form of comfort, it was evident that he’d never received any from his own father before. The sleeves of your sweater moved hesitantly to wrap themselves around Megumi’s shaking body, afraid that if you were to embrace him fully the dam that’s been holding back all of your emotions would suddenly break. It wasn’t your place to nurture this child, it wasn’t your place to offer him another outlet for parental guidance. But as you sat at the edge of the motel bed with the little boy, it felt as if you were sitting at the edge of a cliff, and you could either sink or swim with Megumi’s life in your hands. The moment you felt his frail arms hug you back, the dam fell, and you were in too deep to stop giving a fuck now. 
You brought a hand to his wild hair. It stuck up in all directions, he told you earlier that he stole some gel from his dad’s bathroom, and that Toji let him do it however he wanted to. You remember laughing at that, seemingly because it sounded like something Toji would say. Your cheek felt cool against the top of his head, his hair still drying from the torrential storm that brewed just outside the window. Every string inside of you that was holding your emotional state together at the seams had ripped in two as Megumi began to sob more violently than before. His red cheeks moved from right to left across your sweater, wiping snot, drool and tears all over you. With thoughts clouded and the slightest knowledge of how to take care of a child flying out the window, you began to panic. Toji had left his offspring, his flesh and blood, with you, his emotionally corrupted, immature, and attention deprived fuck buddy. 
Why?
With tender hands you tuck the covers under Megumi’s petite body. Your heart crumbled completely when you saw how the tears dried on Megumi’s cheeks, how his breathing was congested with mucus, and how his swollen eyes twitched in his sleep. He was having a nightmare. The bed dipped in as you sat beside him and ran fragile fingers over his forehead, sweeping his long hair out of his eyes. For the first time that night you let tears fall from your eyes, as you gazed at the broken child with an instinct to care for him, to help him grow, if Toji wasn’t going to be there to do it. You watched as Megumi’s body relaxed under your touch, his breathing smooth, and his eyebrows drooping. A small smile formed on your face, it was time to fake happiness for this boy, if it meant that he would be okay.
“He’s a g-good kid r-ight?” Your head snapped up as Toji’s overbearing body stumbled through the window, his hand desperately grasping for some kind of support from the wall. God, you really needed to lock that fucking window or god knows what other Fushiguro would trip through it. 
An animosity so intense boiled within you, clawing at your stomach, dying to be taken out on the drunken man stood in front of you. The tears returned to your eyes, his silhouette doubled as your vision blurred. 
“D-don’t you fucking come near me you asshole,” you whispered, there were no words in the world that could’ve described how badly you wanted to scream at Toji until his eardrums popped. Alas you couldn’t… you couldn’t let Megumi see his father like this. 
“Exc-use me but I'd l-like to see my-my son,” words slurred out of his wet lips, a line of saliva falling out of the corner of his mouth. 
“Toji… don’t even think for a second I’d let you near him,” your delicate hands pushed against his steel chest, helplessly punching into him to stop him in his tracks. His strong hands wrapped themselves around your wrists tightly as he looked you in the eyes with an intoxicated heat. 
“Toji… why? Why wouldn’t you tell me you had a fucking child? Is this who you ran away from every weekend we spent together?” Your hand shakily pointed to little Megumi’s sleeping body, “Do you understand how fucked up that makes me feel? How fucked up that makes you? God! I knew you were a piece of shit but Toji… this is rich, this is- this is the icing on the fucking cake… you disgust me!” You whispered as Toji’s hands repositioned themselves to cup your cheeks, his calloused thumbs coming to wipe the lines of mascara running down your face. Although blank and empty, his stare alone spoke a thousand words.
It told you that he was broken, that he was filled to the brink with regret, that he hated- no, absolutely loathed himself. Toji knew he was a piece of shit, he knew he was wrong for hiding his son from you, and he knew he was wrong for hiding you from his son. He had lasted long enough pushing everything under a compact rug until it couldn’t hold much more, and now every fucked up thing in his life was catching up to him, and you were watching it happen right in this depressing, wet, and cramped motel room.
“I-I didn’t know wh-where else to bring him, I-I mean look at me I can’t be with him right now…” Toji fell to his knees and gripped your calves with his hands, crying into the damp denim of your jeans. You stood stiff, frozen in place and in disbelief at what was happening. The brazen man that you knew so well, that dripped with confidence, with ego, with a sense of security, had shattered completely. Toji’s back muscles contracted as he dry heaved onto the floor, the contents of his stomach just missing your feet. He looked up at you with an empty expression. Snot was dripping out of his nose, his jaw was trembling and his face was littered with tears and red splotches.
“Toji-” You reached for him.
“No… please hear m- me out…”
“I'll listen to you… outside…” You fired, “I’m not- I refuse to do this here when your son is sleeping right there!” You hoisted his body up off the floor as the two of you staggered into the storm. He leaned his body up against the door to 4C as you closed it, boring holes into your head, desperate for you to say anything. You wrapped your sweater around you tighter as rain propelled towards your shivering bodies. You two must have looked mad… drenched, drunken and depressed, in the middle of a storm, enveloped in darkness, hugging yourselves as if that would be of any help. Only the light of the moon and from the other motel rooms made it possible for you to see Toji’s face. The sounds of his rabid sobs mixed with the intensity of the rain pelting the ground, the freezing winds icing over his face sobered him up a bit. Toji began speaking as you looked down at your bare feet once again being swallowed by the wet pavement.
“I don’t trust anyone else,” Toji burns a hole into the parking lot with his stare, watching it flood slowly, he didn't have the guts to look at you, not yet. The single traffic light across the street whipped back and forth in the wind, streaks of light painting the foggy air. You leaned up against the door next to Toji, your tiny body being engulfed by his large, shaking one.
“…I didn’t trust a-anyone else w-with Megumi, I’m a threat to my own fucking kid, can you believe that?” You thought about it for a second, and you could completely believe it, the fact that Toji hid his son from you for this long should’ve spoken for itself. Your somber silhouettes shivered against the outside of the motel, both of your minds racing to deliberate how you would work yourselves through this mess. You almost wanted to laugh, the last people on this earth you would expect to be parents were you and Toji. With the breath kicked out of you, you slid down to the pavement and let yourself hit the ground. You hugged your knees with your shuddering hands and watched the cars slowly maneuver their way around the dimly lit parking lot. Toji’s hand navigates its way to the top of your head and smooths his fingers over your hair.
“Toji… I just have so many questions-”
“So ask them,” for once you looked at him with soft eyes, his voice trembled every time he spoke, you could try to fill the shell of a fractured man with love, with empathy, but everything you could possibly give him would just seep through the cracks of his ego. 
“…I keep my circles small… so I didn’t have many options of who to leave the kid with… you’re the only person that I’ve allowed myself to get close to…” He ran a hand over his face, his body began to sink down next to you, extending his legs flat to the ground as his pants soaked with rainwater, “and you haven’t rejected me yet so I threw one more thing on you… is that okay?” 
Was it okay? Of all the fucked up things you and Toji have done together, you scoffed in disbelief as your hands began to trace circles on the flooding ground beneath you, swirling rainwater in between your fingers.
“…and his mother?” Your voice cracked as your heart sank at what you could only predict his answer would be. Toji's jaw stiffened, grinding it back and forth as he reached for a pack of soggy cigarettes from his back pocket. 
“Shit,” he muttered. He rung out the pack of smokes in his strong hold, the damp paper pushing between the cracks of his fingers. You looked at him and he looked straight ahead, watching small ripples form in the puddles of water upon impact from the rain.
“She’s dead… died when he was just born,” your chest weakened at his words, eyes overwhelmed with sorrow. Toji's lips began to tremble as he tried to bite back his tears. He was tired of crying, tired of not being strong anymore, and tired of not being a good father, for that’s the strongest thing a man could ever be. 
“…So the kid got stuck with me… he- I don’t deserve him, I don’t deserve to be a father to a kid as good as him…” In his most vulnerable state, you chalked up the courage to take his hand in yours and rub your thumb over his scarlet knuckles. You sat like that for a while, legs sprawled out over the drenched concrete, the ends of your feet grazing each other ever so softly.
“Toji…” your voice came out barely above a whisper, “…don’t say that… Megumi needs you,” Toji’s breath hitched in his chest as he coughed back the urge to cry anymore, “Megumi needs you to get better for him… that kid- he looks up to you so fucking much. He sat next to me for an hour talking about you alone.”
You pulled your knees into your chest and buried them under your sweater to shield your icy legs from the cold. You felt Toji’s blue eyes burn holes into the side of your head, he was desperate for any taste of guidance.
“You’re lying… the kid barely knows me, he”-
“So help him know you! Toji you can’t fucking give up on that kid… and you sure as hell can’t dump him on me and expect me to make up for the years you neglected him! I won’t fucking do it, not without you…” Your screams broke into a whisper. 
You wanted Toji. You wanted him a month ago when he was just an asshole without a kid, and you want him now that he’s just an asshole with a kid. You shifted your body to sit closer to his, his silhouette swallowing yours in size as you curled up next to him on the concrete. Resting your head on his shoulder, he inched his hand towards yours to lift your knuckles to his lips and kiss them gently, one by one.
“Toji…” you continued, your eyes not leaving the ground, “I want to be with you, I want to love you- and if Megumi comes with you I’ll love him too… that’s what you’re asking of me, yeah?” You lifted your head to look at him, leaving your faces only inches apart as you gazed into each other’s eyes. Toji nodded his head slowly, he never asked for help, it was a sign of vulnerability. But the kid was the only exception for Toji, he always has been. He'd always absorb everything like a sponge until he physically couldn’t hold any more dirty water, tearing every time he had to ring out all of his baggage. 
“You wanna know why you’re an asshole?” You’re probed, finally striking a light on one of his gnarly cigs and blowing the smoke onto his face. The scarred corner of his mouth twitched upward, enough for only you to notice. 
“Pray tell, doll.” He chuckled in a husky voice, his calloused hand reaching for the cigarette you held before you smacked it away. He scoffed, “That came from my pack, you know?” 
“The least you could do for me is bum me a cig, no?” You jabbed, the burning cherry hanging from your fingers as your hand bounced around with your words. 
Silence. 
“Well… you’re an asshole Fushiguro…” You continued without any more permission, hesitant to tell him what you wanted to. You feared you’d opened up too much already. Your tongue dragged over your teeth as you worked out your next sentence. 
“You-“ You took a long drag, “You are a raging dick, actually. Because-” you paused to look over at him, and surprisingly enough, you had his complete attention. And his eyes weren’t hardened but- soft. And his breathing was less ragged than it was ten minutes ago. You swallowed hard as his eyes dropped to your mouth. 
“You know you could hop on the next train out of here with no intention of seeing me again…” You whispered. “And I’d fucking love the shit out of that kid regardless, right?” He smirked at your choice of words, Toji tried hard not to love things, in the end everything he gets close to fades away and dies. But he believed that he loved you, and he loved the way you were prepared to drop everything to nurture the most secret part of his life. All he could do was stare at your face, gentle, warm, and glowing in the rain. Though it felt like the whole world was after him he felt safe next to you, and he despised the feeling, for it meant that he was prepared to give himself to someone for a second time, and he wasn’t ready to lose another. 
“And that’s why I left him with you,” he smirked. He winced as you smacked him across the face, your eyes wide and feral.
“Yeah I know, I know that’s why you did it you fuck!” You scream-whispered, still mindful of Megumi just behind the door. “But don’t expect me to be- h-hot shit at this mother thing- I won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus if it means protecting him!” 
You were standing now, and you were pacing, and reality was hitting you, and the adrenaline rush you were riding for the past thirty minutes was wearing off and you were scared. Your hand shook as you rose the dwindling cigarette to your lips, your body shaking from both the rain and the kiss of reality. Struggling to inhale from the damp bud, Toji cut off your train of thought.
“I know you won’t, that’s why I left him with you,” he said sternly, his figure now towering over yours. He grabbed his face in your hands, and it was just as much a loving act as it was a ‘I need you to get your head on straight and focus’ act. He pushed your cheeks in and shook your face ever so slightly, “You listen to me- That. Is. Why. I. Left. Him. With. You.” 
He spoke roughly, dividing every word with a quick pause so you could get it through your head. He pressed his forehead to yours so you were eye to eye. “Hey,” he brushed some matted hair away from your wet forehead. You knew he saw the tears welling in your eyes, and you wish you could push him away so he could never see you cry again. But you couldn’t, you felt that you loved him far too much to do that. Your shoulders shook as you let them fall, you cursed yourself for letting it happen. 
“Fucking listen to me,” Toji jabbed, “I left him with you because you- you don’t fear me. You will throw me under the bus, you’ll push me in front of a fucking train, for that kid,” he actually laughed at the thought, “I know no other person that will hold me accountable- even if it meant my bloody death.” 
You shook yourself out of his hold, throwing your burnt out cigarette on the ground between you two, setting an imaginary border so you could think clearly away from him. 
“Are you sober enough to hear me out?” You asked quietly but not lacking any ounce of aggression. 
“Since you slapped the living shit out of me? I’d say I’m pretty okay,” Toji took one step towards you before you stopped him in his tracks.
“You stay over there and you listen to me,” you growled. You nervously rung out your hands, pulling on every knuckle and joint while you spoke. 
“… I hope you don’t… run away.” You paused, “No- actually, you will not run away,” Your words left your mouth like you were prophesying commandments to a lost disciple. “He needs you with him, Toji. He is tired of you disappearing.”
Toji listened to you like your voice was the last thing he’d hear in his life, yet he wanted you to stop talking. The more you spoke the more bound to the tracks he felt, and he had never been bound to anything before, he did as he pleased, always. So Toji prayed you wouldn’t utter another word that would keep him here. He had to leave, if he stayed you would get hurt, that’s how it always went. But with every word that left your mouth you pulled him in and glued him to the ground he stood on. 
He let out an exasperated sigh as you wrapped a hand in his hair, using it as leverage to push your foreheads back together. He was speechless, there was so much he could say to you, to convince you to kick him to the curb, but his words were stuck in his throat.
“I am tired of you disappearing,” the ropes that kept his body bound to the tracks drew tighter, and in the distance he saw the headlights of a train inching closer by the second.  
“I know you think it’s hopeless, that it’s not even worth trying, but your son having any shot at living a normal life is worth fighting for… Toji, please-” 
And then the train struck him, just as promised, this wouldn’t be the last one you pushed him in front of. 
Your grip on Toji’s hair loosened as his lips crushed themselves onto yours. He pulled you closer, needed you closer, hugging you into his chest as you caressed the sides of his face with your hands, thumbs rubbing at his scarred cheekbones. You tasted like salvation. Toji knew deep down that you were his salvation. 
“I’m not asking you to fix me, I’m way past that- I'm just asking you to be patient… for the kid.” He whispered against your lips, the tears that littered your cheeks dampened his. “I care…” he swallowed his words, “...I care about you- alot.”
“Jesus fuck, did it kill you to say that?” For the first time that night you laughed genuinely, and Toji’s mind was clear. It was carved in stone, he had claimed you and now he’s responsible for your life now, alongside Megumi’s. He raised his hands off your hips as if you were a fragile porcelain doll, too afraid to hurt you now that he’s held you- truly, held you. You looked at him questioningly, already missing the feeling of his skin against yours.
“I don't want you to get hurt… I don’t want Megumi to lose anyone else, he needs something I’m afraid I can’t give to him-”
“Shut up,” your eyebrows furrowed together as you shook his head gently, “Don’t go there… you dumb fuck,” bringing his lips to yours once more, he finally released under your touch, the feeling of you safe and in his arms put his restless thoughts to bed.
“I'm here, Megumi is sleeping soundly inside… we’re gonna be okay. Everything is a fucking mess. Because you did kind of fuck it, but we’ll figure it out,” you insisted, taking his hands in yours and placing them on your heart. Toji dropped his head to the crook of your neck and closed his eyes as the soft thump of your heartbeat grazed against his fingertips.
“Do you feel that? I’m alive you asshole… I’m not dead yet.”
—-
Toji knew you would stick around for a while.
He was right, because here you were, two years later, with Megumi cradled in your arms as you carried him up the winding steps of your Victorian home, placing soft kisses on his forehead and lulling him to sleep. Today was the anniversary of that night at the motel, when you met Megumi for the first time and decided to help Toji care for him even when you were entirely lost yourself. You haven’t been back there since, you three left the next morning on a train and never looked back. You told Toji that if you did it would be bad luck, so he kept moving forward for you and his son, to finally give him a life he deserved. But tonight you two thought it would be nice to visit one more time, on your anniversary, just for old time’s sake.
Toji watched as you tiptoed back down the steps and gave him a gentle thumbs up, signaling that Megumi had finally fallen asleep. Toji wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up into him, peppering kisses all over your blushing face. You placed a sloppy kiss onto his lips before jumping down and giving him a little twirl.
“C’mon baby, let’s go!” You wrapped your hand in his and dragged him to the door. His face relaxed into a content smile, after all this time, his little bird was still as free as ever.
Around your neck you donned a good locket that Toji had gotten you for your birthday, it moved up and down against your chest as you took deep breaths standing in front of an old friend. The door to room 4C looked just as you left it, with a few more cracks here and there. Your body shuddered as you looked down at the ground in front of it, still feeling the presence of your younger self clad in a drenched sweater, curled up next to a younger, drunken Toji. A warm smile spread across your face as you remembered how scared you two were, unsure of the world and without a plan, shivering in the pouring rain as you thought about your futures together. 
Tonight the sky was clear, the only thing that surrounded you was the sound of cicadas singing. You looked up to your side as you felt Toji’s fingers intertwined with yours, holding onto your hand loosely. He looked down at you and smirked, although you two were much more mature and cared about whether you lost your lives or not for Megumi’s sake, deep down you two would always be the notorious fuck-ups that happened to fit perfectly together.
“Wanna wreck some havoc one last time?” he asked you. You giggled as your hand twirled the brass doorknob, entering the room that you and Toji made love in more times than you could count, the room that you got high in, got drunk in, the room that you fought in, that you threw television remotes at each other in… the room that you eventually fell in love in.
Your fingertips grazed the stiff blankets, the cherry red countertops, the cheap coffee maker, as you took every detail in. Everything was left just the way it was on the night. You let out a chuckle underneath your breath as you sunk your fingers into the mattress, remembering how Megumi’s body slept here soundly as you and Toji decided what the fuck you were to make of yourselves just outside.
“I'm glad you pushed Megumi in here that night…” you whispered as you lifted the blanket up, they could never remove the stain of his chocolate ice cream sandwich from the white sheets. Toji watched as you reminisced, taking in every inch of you, before your eyes finally met as you dragged your gaze across the tacky flower paintings that decorated the walls. Your eyes rested on his face as you drank the sight of him in. Toji was happy, he was at peace with what his life had turned out to be.
“The way it all happened was absolutely fucking ridiculous I hope you know that…” You rolled your eyes at him as he crossed his arms and leaned up against the kitschy wallpaper. “...but I wouldn't change a thing, it happened the way it did for a reason.” 
He watched as your hips swayed back and forth underneath your black slip dress, his heartbeat speeding up as you draped your arms around his neck and leaned him further back into the wall. Toji, the hardened man that could effortlessly punch through anything that looked at him the wrong way, softened immediately when he was with you. You were his biggest source of strength, but his ultimate weakness nonetheless.
“Hold me, Toji,” you whispered as you brought your lips to his, feeling his brute arms tie themselves around your tiny waist, “…I love you baby,” you murmured as your lips moved against his.
“Thank you,” Toji had spoken for the first time since you two entered the room, too enamored with you to form any coherent words until this point. He watched as the orange light from the bedside table illuminated the back of your head, the halo of light framed your face like an angel.
“What?” you continued to pepper kisses all over his face, gently alternating back and forth from each cheek as your fingers played with his dark hair.
“For saving me… for loving Megumi… you didn’t have to fucking do that… you could’ve been free but you chose this life,” he pulled you up into him, shoving his face into your neck and taking in your scent. Toji was deathly afraid of losing you, so when he held you, he held you like it was going to be the last time he’d ever get to. You were his second chance at life, and if he could, he’d have you by his side forever.
“And I wouldn’t have chosen any different.” You croaked, your fingernails grazing the back of his neck. 
“I wanted you then Toji and I still want you now, heaven and hell would have to meet on this earth to get me to stop loving you…” Your words were barely above a whisper, making sure they were for him and only him. Toji’s lips began to move against your neck and his hand tugged your head back by your hair, giving him more room to mark you. 
“Toji, plea-“ You whined breathlessly, eyebrows furrowing together as everything inside you became bubbly and grew more sensitive with every touch. 
“Have you ever thought about…” His lips paused against your neck, his grip on you tightening before he let up, “Fuck it, nevermind.” He shut himself down before he could even finish his thought. You nudged his head out from where it was hiding on your shoulder and forced him to look at you. You always found it funny that you held such a threatening man like putty in your hands.
“No… say it, tell me please,” you rested your hands on either side of his face, letting him know it was okay, you gleamed up at him as the flashes of the television reflected in your eyes, his heart swelled at the sight of you. Toji broke his eye contact with you, anxious of how you’d respond to his question. Toji was anxious. And you could feel it. And then his jaw clenched before his grip on you tightened once again, even now he couldn’t let the fortress that he hid inside break. 
“Have you ever thought about… having another kid?” His eyes were dark, and a grin almost devious teased the corners of his mouth, and all of a sudden you felt how you did two years ago. And the Toji you fell for was standing there and he was so close to you and you were in his arms. He was teasing you like you were helpless teenagers in love. And though you loved Megumi so deeply- he was safe with the nanny at home… and you and Toji were just you and Toji again. You wanted him as fiercely as you did two years ago, and you wanted him to make love to you the way he did two years ago. Everything had been so gentle since you two were last here, and you watched Toji grow into an amazing father. You understood that he treated you like glass because he didn’t want to lose you like he has everyone else. And he was so good to you. But fuck, he was too good sometimes and you wanted that asshole back. 
You pushed yourself into his chest and nudged his face in your direction with your nose, smiling softly as you watched a storm brew in his eyes alone. Your breasts nearly spilled out of the neckline of your dress as you pressed your chest to his. You felt him tense as you licked your way up from his neck to his ear, placing a kiss on the sensitive skin behind it. 
“Toji… I think about it everyday,” you whispered, his grip around your waist tightened as he exhaled sharply, as if he was holding himself back. 
“Do you think about a boy or girl?” He teased, beginning to trace his fingers on your thighs just below the hem of your dress. Your body instinctually moved into his, your words caught in your throat and your eyes lost in his. Toji smirked down at you, watching the way you curled around his finger so easily.
“Hey,” he snapped, taking your chin in a firm hold, “What did I ask you, princess? Stay with me.” 
His other hand that remained just underneath your ass rose a few inches to give it a taught squeeze. He chuckled softly watching you twitch at the sensation. With your chin still in his hand he snapped your face to the left, pressing his nose against your cheek and inhaling deeply, before placing a hard, sloppy kiss to it.
“Tell me.” He pushed your face back so it was an inch away from his, “Do you want me to give you a boy or a girl?” 
The stench of lust stained the walls, the carpets, the bedsheets, your clothes… it stuck to everything. This fucking room made the two of you feral. Toji had you melting in his hands and you wanted him to mold you to fit perfectly to him. Your hands traced down to his chest, feeling the muscles that pulled underneath his fitted black shirt. You took handfuls of the fabric into your fists as you smashed your lips to his, and he reciprocated immediately, like he was a robot built to respond to your commands. His hands flew everywhere, feeling every inch of you. They traced your thighs, slipped under your dress and up your spine, they traced the curves of your breasts and trailed up your neck, before stopping at the back of your head, bringing your face impossibly closer to his. He wanted you to mix together like a forbidden cocktail, whiskey and vodka, dark and light, never to be put together but when they are, they can be deadly. 
You pushed from his unforgiving hold, to look up at him, the two of you breathing heavily, gasping for air like all that was left in the room was sucked out of it. You stumbled backwards as he watched you quizzically, wondering why the fuck you weren’t glued to him right now. You wanted him to see you, fully. So you stopped walking backwards until your legs hit the end of the bed. 
Slowly, your fingers toyed with the hem of your dress, your cheeks heating as Toji smirked and crossed his arms. He watched you with a tilted head and his tongue poking at his cheek, in disbelief that you were his. But his smile dropped when you took hold of your dress and inched it up your soft skin, revealing the lace panties you had been wearing. Then you pushed the silk fabric past your belly button, and Toji could only imagine how that stomach would look big and swollen with his child. You stopped there, and slowly dragged your hands around your stomach, before they rested on top of your womb, your eyes never leaving one another. 
“I don’t care about the gender of the baby… as long as it’s our baby and we take care of it together,” you whispered as you fixed your gaze on Toji’s chest, too nervous to look him in the eye. A primitive feeling ignited within him as he witnessed those words leave your mouth. Someone wanted him, not for dirty work, not to be used, but to love him and share a love with him, he never thought himself capable of feeling compassion for another like this in his life. He wanted to claim you in every sense of the word, fill you up, and burn his name onto your heart. 
“You wanna give me a baby?” He growled from across the room, his shadows reached you from six feet away and enveloped your body, the vibrato of his voice shooting straight to your core. The idea of Toji marking you permanently made your insides curl, wet at the thought of it. Your eyes filled with lust and need, begging him to take you right here. He lost all of his senses as he looked at you turning into a needy little thing for him, breasts supple and on display as they heaved up and down. He imagined how they'd swell and fill with milk for his child, his gaze shot up to your lips, wet as you bit and licked at them, stains of the dark lip liner you had put on before you left, remaining on your skin like a ghost. Then they shot to your eyes, nearly tearing up with need, need to be touched and his completely. Something in you shifted when his gaze softened and his stance relaxed. 
“Fuck… I wanna give you a baby Toji.” You whispered as you felt the first tear roll down your cheek, and within seconds Toji was up against you once more, lips molding to yours and his hands tangled in your hair. The weight and force of him pushed you back as you prepared to hit the bed. You took one of his hands from behind your head and placed it on your stomach, pausing from the kiss to look at him, saying all you needed to tell him with the one stare. 
The rubber band inside of him snapped in that moment, he was madly in love with you, and the way you cared for Megumi so tenderly drove him up a wall. Watching you rock him to sleep, cook him breakfast in the morning, dance carelessly around the living room with him in your arms- he wanted to do it all over again with you, and start at the very beginning this time. He nodded frantically and wordlessly as he laid you back on the bed, pulling the heels off your feet as he crawled over you until he’d pushed you to the head of the bed, eyes never leaving yours. His lips met your collar bone, sucking on the skin that peaked beneath the strap of your dress, you wrapped a hand in his hair and pushed him into your chest as you whimpered, desperate for more.
He pulled his lips from your skin, placing a chaste kiss on the fresh bruise he mouthed onto your chest before placing a strong hand on your stomach, the other bringing itself to your head to make you look at him.  
“Fuck, princess… tell me what you want again.” He whispered, pushing down on the soft skin of your stomach and tracing circles around your belly button with his thumb. Something about that movement turned you feral, as Toji hit all the right spots within you with his words. You crashed your lips into his as you growled into his throat, staking your claim on him. Toji was yours, and you wanted to make sure he knew it. 
“M’hm…” You hummed as you rotate your hips into his thighs, “I wanna have your baby,” Toji squeezed your thighs before he pushed the rest of your dress up above your head, nearly panting as he watching your breasts spill out. He took one nipple into his mouth and the other in his hand, your body arching at the sudden change of pace. He sucked and twirled his tongue around the sensitive bud, the other hard and taught between the rough pads of his fingers. You always loved the way Toji could handle you, he was the only man that was ever able to give you exactly what you needed. It had always been that way, just you and him, becoming experts in each other’s bodies, memorizing every curve and trigger that made one another sing. 
He lifted himself up from your breasts so that his face was hovering above yours and your head was trapped between his arms, he looked at you… and for a second you could’ve sworn you saw sadness wash over his face.
“Tell me what you want me to do to you and I'll do it, tonight you have me completely,” Toji whispered, tracing the contours of your face. You hid in his shadows, unsure what to make of that statement. Your breathing was ragged as you searched his face for the cause of the sudden gloom he casted over the bed you two occupied. You reached up to trace the dips of his jaw and cheekbones, back around his head before your fingers lingered over his lips. 
“Toji, what’s wrong?” You asked wearily, “Don’t I have you completely every other night we spend together?” His gaze saddened, and this time it definitely had. You grew incredibly nervous, because despite the fact that you had Toji for two years… deep, deep down, you knew that he was a force that couldn’t be tamed.  
“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, his forehead dropping to your shoulder. He laid his body weight on top of you, caging you into him as if to protect you from an impending doom. 
“And because I can’t lose you…” Your breath hitched in your throat at his next set of words. You couldn’t let him finish. 
“Toji… no.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his back and hugging him into you. 
“I’m sorry, I have to.” He shook in your hold, his hand wrapping around the back of your head and pushing it into his neck as you began to sob. You struggled to escape his grasp, you needed to fucking breathe. 
“Toji… get the fuck off of me.” You bit through tears, but he wouldn’t budge. 
“Let fucking go of me!” You pushed, squirming away when you felt him loosen up. You tripped your way out of the bed and hid yourself in the corner of the room, between the big TV and the bathroom. You sheltered your naked body by crossing your arms over your chest and your sobs became uncontrollable. You burned holes into his back as he knelt on the bed with his hands unfolded in his lap, he stared at them, empty and without you in them. 
“I have to leave-“ He began. 
“Shut up.” You whispered, begging him to stop.
“It’s the only way you and Megumi will be safe.” He pushed. 
“I don’t fucking care-“
“You don’t care about my son?” He screamed into the void of the bedsheets, the palms of his hands digging at his weary eyes. The statement shook you, it clawed at the deepest parts of you and ripped them out. Left you gutted. 
“How f-fucking dare you…” You choked, his back was still turned to you. You looked around the room in frantic disbelief, fists punching at your head. “You can at least turn around… and fucking LOOK AT ME… While you tell me that I don’t care about MY SON!”
You were towering above him now, for once in the years you had known this man the power dynamic had shifted. What was different was that you’d experienced another kind of love, and that love left you with a reflex that would cut anyone that threatened it. Toji had been training you up for this moment, the one where he would finally say he was leaving again, and you’d have to be there for Megumi on your own. 
You shoved at his back and he didn’t budge, so you shoved again, and again he didn’t budge. 
“He’s my son too….” You seethed, “ And I will not let you sit there with your back turned to me…” You continued as you rounded the bed so you were facing him. “Just so you can fucking tell me that I don’t care about him!” 
He kneeled as still as a statue, the silence surrounding him almost sickening. And the more you stared at Toji, the more you wanted to laugh. You were not going to fall for his bullshit game again, because in the two years that you’ve loved him you’ve also learned him. 
“You’re a coward, Toji…” You shot to kill. “If you meant what you said you can look me in the eye and say it again.” 
Knowing he wouldn’t budge, you crawled onto the bed and kneeled beneath him, forcing yourself to look up into his eyes. They looked empty. 
“Go ahead and tell me that I don’t love my son, Toji,” you smirked, eyes wild and alight as they were when Toji first set eyes upon you years ago, when he knew he had to have you. You grabbed his chin and tilted it upwards as you crawled into his lap, straddling him so he had nowhere to go, nothing else to look at but you, nothing else to feel but you. You put your lips to his and growled, nothing but heat laced in your words. 
“Be a man… be a father… and tell me that I don’t love my fucking son.” A tear slipped down his cheek, and you could see mountains move in his eyes and you watched the walls of that fortress crack after two years. His hands fell to your hips, locking you in. 
“I can’t,” he whispered, “I can’t tell you that.” Sorrow held heavy in his gaze, as he tried to kiss you with your lips on his. You wouldn’t let him, pushing his face back into place. 
“Then tell me… why you would lie to me Toji,” you asked softly, your sadness, your embarrassment returning. “Why would you leave me again? Have I not been good enough-“
“No,” he cut you off, “No, never.” 
“Then what is it! Tell me why you’re leaving- again!”  You sobbed, your vision of him blurry now. Your hands wrapped around the back of his head as you pulled his body into your bare chest, feeling the wetness of his cheeks against your breasts. You dropped your head into the crook of his neck and sobbed, “What haven’t I done to make you see how much I love you?” 
“It’s not what you didn’t do,” he resolved, “It’s what you did do.” You shook as his fingers kissed up and down your spine. “You have done everything- I could’ve asked for. I am scared of the way I love you… and I am scared of the way you love me.” He tried to pull your face from his neck but you were the immovable statue this time. 
“Look at me,” He says sternly, forcing you from your hiding spot. He places a tender kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I have never loved someone so much. I can’t stay away from you and I think that’ll be our downfall if I don’t leave now. My plan was never to stay, I was going to leave you with Megumi… but god, you’re like a fucking magnet. Of course I stumbled in after him and when I saw you sitting on that bed with him… my fate with you was set in stone, princess.” 
You were a blubbering baby, your hands holding his face as your thumbs rubbed his cheeks back and forth, like they were trying to memorize every scar and curve. You kissed his cheek as he continued, “It is everything you have made me… that’s the reason I have to leave. My work isn’t safe, once they know how soft I’ve become you will be the first people they target.” 
“Toji, I d-don’t care!” You blurted out, “I don’t care… I can take care of myself, I can take care of Megumi. Teach me then, huh? Teach me to f-fight o-o-or use a gun… please Toji… I need you here.” You weren’t even sure of what you were saying, you were just saying anything to keep him here longer. 
“You are all I have left-“ He pushed. 
“As you are to me!” You bit back. 
“Toji, you are all I have… please… please can we try?”
You practically begged, “What about our baby? Was that all just shit to get me to sleep with you one last time? Hm?” 
“No, of course not!” He shot back, words fiery and filled with passion. 
“So you were gonna what? Toji? Knock me up and leave?” You asked silently, holding your eye contact with him. “Because I really wanted- I really wanted to have that with you.” 
He bit back tears, swallowing deeply as you drilled into him. He just shook his head, if he wanted to keep you in his life he had to do this. He had to let you go. He gently pushed you off of him one last time, wincing when he felt you reach for him, your hand gracing his. 
“N-no Toji… no, please,” you begged, his heart tearing as he walked closer to the door, gathering his things slowly. He jolted when he felt your small body press into his back, hugging him from behind and shaking. It took everything in him to fight the urge to place his hand over yours. But feeling you slide to the floor behind him made him turn around to look at you. He had done it, he had broken you, and for the first time in his life he was disgusted that he had done that to someone. 
“Get up,” he choked. 
You refused. 
“Get. Up!” 
“No.”
“I’m not leaving you on the floor like this-“
“Then don’t fucking leave! You asshole!” You screamed at him wildly, smacking at his legs with weak jabs, the picture of a child throwing a tantrum. 
“If you ever loved me or Megumi you would stay!” You cried, “You would stay… and you would try for us…” 
“You can’t say that-“
“Yes I can because it’s true,” you shot your words at him like bullets leaving a gun, short and quick, one after the other. 
“When I agreed to take Megumi under my care… I said I would do it only if you stayed with me. I said I wasn’t going to let you run away. And if you think for a second that I didn’t mean it then you really are fucking dense Fushiguro.” 
Toji’s mouth quirked at the sound of you using his surname, you haven’t done that for a while. He set his sights on you for a reason all those years ago, he knew you were strong, he knew you were unwavering. He just never thought he’d meet someone as stubborn if not more stubborn than him. That’s why he knew you were the one he was going to leave Megumi with. And even now as he looked down at you he knew he made the right decision. You would chase him into the parking lot naked if he made a run for it and he knew that. No one was better for his family than you. His heart dropped when he felt your hand reach up to his, releasing him from his train of thought. You were beautiful. And he was sorry. And stupid for thinking that this wasn’t going to go over without a fight. He tightened his grip on your hand and knelt down to kiss it. Every knuckle. Every fingertip. And he knelt into your touch when you cradled his face.
You saw him make a swift movement from the corner of your eye, and you couldn’t move fast enough when you felt a piece of heavy metal weigh down your hand. In it Toji had placed a gun, you knew he always carried one but he’d keep it concealed around you. So you’d never actually seen it. To be holding it right now… you didn’t know what to do. You watched him as he moved to kneel behind you, his hand never leaving yours that held the revolver. 
You gasped as he brought an arm around your waist, fixing your posture so you were upright. And he adjusted your arms so the gun was pointing at the door of the motel room. His hands laid loosely over yours and his head rested in the crook of your neck. Your breathing grew heavy when he traced from your hand all the way back to your upper arm, fixing its position and propping it up at a 90 degree angle. 
“It’s like a dance, you see.” He whispered into your ear. 
“If you hold it properly, and give it room to move,” he loosened your grip on the trigger. 
“Not too tight, princess…” You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.
“It’ll hit all the right steps…” His finger covered yours on the trigger and you felt your heart stop, “and you’ll shoot ‘em dead.” 
“Bang!” Toji mimicked the sound of a gun as you jumped backwards into him and screamed, eyes squeezed shut. But you didn’t feel the reverb of the gun, you didn’t hear anything piercing the wooden door, only the vibration of Toji’s low chuckle in his throat. You turned around to see him propped up on both arms, staring at you in amusement while you stared at him in shock. 
Your hands shook as you examined the gun in your hands, before looking back up at his smiling face. His hands covered yours as he slowly took it out of your grip. 
“What the fuck, Toji?” You whispered, scared as if you’d actually shot something. 
“Safety’s on, sweetheart.” He teased, wrapping an arm around your neck and bringing you into him to place a wet kiss on your mouth. “I’ll let you do the real thing once you start getting good.” 
“What?” You stared at him in disbelief, but he didn’t miss that glimmer of excitement in your eyes. 
“I’ll teach you how to use a gun, I’ll teach you to fight, I’ll teach you whatever you want to know… so we can keep our kid safe.” He whispered, looking down at you with a warm smile on his face. 
“Yeah?” 
“Yes…” He whispered, “…I love you.” He added. 
“I love you too,” you almost didn’t believe it. 
“I mean it… I love you.” He repeated, like he could read your mind. But you were still hurt, and angry, and everything bad you could feel you felt. 
“I- prove it to me… that you mean it… I’ve proved myself to you enough tonight Toji… and I won’t stand to be made a fool,” your words bit, and you hope he felt them draw blood. Toji pulled you back into his chest and buried his face in your hair, taking in your scent. 
“You want me to prove it?” He whispered. His hands start to trail up your thighs, his mouth begins to place kisses on your neck. You sighed at his touch, placing your hands over his on your body. 
“Mhm,” you whimpered, leaning into his chest, your body becoming overly sensitive to his movements again. Toji’s hands pushed at your thighs, “Open up for me, princess.” You did as you were told, sliding your feet slowly so they could meet his boots on the carpeted floor, putting your clothed heat on display for him. He continued to draw circles on your thighs, more forcefully now, inching your legs open wider. 
“T-Toji, please,” you choked out, growing impatient. 
“Tell me what you want,” he whispered in your ear, sliding his hand under the waistband of your panties, his cold fingers scorched by your hot skin, “Come on… tell me, pretty girl. Had no problem biting my head off a moment ago.” 
“Fuck you,” you seethed through gritted teeth, trying to amass any pleasure from rutting your hips upwards. 
“Suppose I deserved that,” he chuckled, you could feel his chest shaking against your back. You leaned back into him and swung either of your legs over his highs, opening yourself up wide and demanding he touch you. “Dirty girl, that’s how you got tangled up with me in the first place- were just too damn needy…” His hand slipped under the crotch of your panties and you jerked as he placed his palm flat against you. Toji hissed at the wetness that met his skin, grabbing a handful of the slinky lace into his fist and tearing the cheap fabric off your body, “I’ll have to get you new ones.” 
“Please, Toji, please,” you were practically whimpering, begging for him. Jolting as he slapped your waiting cunt once, catching you off guard as you hissed at him. You placed your hand around his forearm and guided it as he massaged the sting of his strike out. 
“Tell me-“ He began again, letting his fingers slide up and down your folds, collecting all of the wetness before bringing them up to your mouth. You looked up at him behind you and he simply raised a brow, silently suggesting that you knew what to do. You took his hand in yours and dipped your mouth down onto the two fingers he pulled from beneath you, licking and sucking your arousal off of them. 
“Good girl, now tell me…” He pulled his fingers from your mouth and shoved them back down to your weeping heat, this time pushing them in and curling them upwards, holding you in place as your body contracted. 
“T-oji my god!” You gasped at the sudden movement. He shushed you, pressing his lips to your ear as his fingers writhed inside of you, “Shhh… tell me about how you’ve dreamed about giving me another baby,” Toji insisted, a glimmer of that ego shining through as he continued his ministrations, more aggressively this time, beginning to pump two fingers in and out of your cunt. 
“Mph-fuck, Toji please-” His fingers continued, pushing in and out of you, kissing your ear when your head dropped back onto his shoulder.
“Tell me, pretty girl, and I’ll give you more,” he began to speed up, wrapping his spare arm around your torso to hold you flush against him, spreading his thighs further, ensuring that your legs spread with him. You moaned at the action, rutting your hips up into his hand as you gave him what he wanted. 
“I- I’ve dreamed about it since we first bought the house together…” He began to place chaste kisses on your neck, sucking on the supple skin, adding a third finger inside of you. “Fuck… that’s too much To-”
“I think you can take it, how could you have my kids if you can’t even take three of my fingers, princess?” He started to pump slowly, letting you adjust to the size. “Now, go on.”
Your breathing was disorderly, your hands grabbing onto his thighs as you felt yourself swallow the girth of his fingers whole. “Ah- okay… w-we bought the house a-and, I think…” You thought back to the first time you set foot in the house after it was officially yours, you were in love with the Victorian architecture and since you loved it Toji loved it even more. 
“I think watching you paint Megumi’s room that bright blue… seeing you covered in paint… making sure e-everything was perfect for him.” You hadn’t even noticed him speeding up, until he started circling your clit with his thumb and you could’ve sworn you were gonna explode. “Toji- please, I think I’m going to-” 
“Not yet… finish,” he urged and you protested before you felt him land another strike to your clit, “Now.” 
“Oh, my god!” Your eyes crossed when he resumed, your abdomen shaking at the sensation, “W-watching you made me realize t-that… t-that we were going to b-be okay-ah!” The arm around your torso made its way up to your breasts, pinching and twisting at your nipples. “...It made me realize t-that I want to be in this- w-with you…hmph… for a long t-time…” You looked up at him with pursed eyebrows and your mouth agape, finding him already staring at you. His face was warm, your entire being felt warm. And then he sped up, fingers pounding in and out of you, his mouth dropping back down to your neck to litter it with hickies, your legs grew stiff and you frantically jutted up into the palm of his hand. 
“Toji- fuck! Please, please-”
“Tell. Me.” He growled, not letting up on his movements.
“I-I- oh fuck… I realized that I wanted to be with you… f-forever, To-ji. I wanted to h-have more kids w-with you a-and raise a f-amily…” Your eyes held his and you felt your toes curl and your insides turn. His mouth connected with yours, holding your jaw in place, as he growled into your mouth.
“Cum.”
You saw stars as his grip on your jaw tightened, swallowing all of your moans, all of your cries, and drinking them like they were a forbidden elixir. He held your legs open with his, pumping in and out of you relentlessly as he held your shaking body. You felt his length, hard against the small of your back, and you lost it completely when you felt him needily rutting up into you through his black denim. “Fuck Toji! I’m cumming. I’m cumming- ah!” 
You two were a sweaty bundle of bodies, desperately rutting into each other, trying to be impossibly close to one another. You reached an arm around his neck and drew him into a wet kiss, hungrily biting and sucking on his lips, his tongue, any inch of him you could take in. 
“More. Toji, please, I need you more.” You begged when his fingers finally released you. You wanted each other in ways you never had before, this time was… different. This time you two were consummating your own version of a fucked-up marriage. In sickness and health. In life and death. You would have each other completely. You felt how needy he was, the scent of your arousal on his mouth, on his hands, lingering everywhere, it turned him into an animal. You turned to face him and helped him out of his clothes. Peeling the shirt off his sweaty body as he kicked his boots off, licking a stripe up his abdomen with heaving breaths, your eyes never leaving him as you panted for him, need dripping off your tongue. Once you got to his neck, you began to leave bite marks along his collarbone, his jaw, your bare cunt rutting into his crotch, growling at the cotton boxer-briefs that kept skin from skin. Toji’s hands grazed over your body, tracing every curve and valley, letting you devour him, take him, do what you wanted with him. 
“Take these off,” You breathed against his neck, fingers pulling at the waistband of the boxers, he chuckled, grabbing you by the back of the head and forcing your eyes to meet his, “As you wish, mama.” 
Sure, there were partners before Toji, and the sex was fine. But no one had ever made you act the way he made you act. You were a partnership of two antagonists, just prodding and poking at each other to see who could make the other crazier. You were sure that tonight, Toji would win. 
Mama.
You saw stars at the word and he knew it. Toji watched your eyes grow as dark as his in seconds, trailing his every movement as he lifted his hips up and slid his boxers down his legs. You watched his cock smack his stomach, so rock hard it looked like it hurt. You needed him in cynical, territorial ways. As did he to you. 
“If you don’t put a baby in me right now Fushiguro…” His eyes widened at the vulgarness of your demand. He watched you kneel just feet away from him, observed the way your chest was heaving up and down, the locket he gifted you, the one you never took off, moving with it. He noticed the way your breasts looked heavier, nipples puffier. He noticed your arousal dripping down your thigh, he had never seen you so wet. And lastly, he noticed the way your hands guarded your stomach, as if they were guarding your precious womb until he came around to mark it. 
“Get on your back,” he barked, climbing over to you swiftly, not giving you time to follow his directions on your own as he had you laid down against the carpet in seconds. He licked his lips as he watched you draw your bitten lips into your mouth, waiting for him to do something.
“Tonight I am going to fucking worship you,” he growled, smashing his lips to yours, jamming his tongue down your throat and licking you everywhere unholy. His lips trailed down your breasts, your stomach, and he stopped above your thighs, leaving bite marks all the way down. He blew a puff of air onto your sticky heat, before teasing you with a small lick. The second your thighs flew upwards his hands held them down, gripping onto the fat like they were lifesavers. He stuck his tongue in your folds, firmly tracing circles around your clit and following the patterns of your vulva. 
“Toji!” You screamed, almost as if you wanted him to stop. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, you needed him to keep going. One of your hands tangled in his hair as the other held onto his, your body writhing like a fish out of water as he continued to suck and pull at your core, groaning into you every time you rode your hips against his face. 
“I-I can’t, please I’m-” You gasped for air, desperately moving your body up and down with his mouth, riding out the waves of pleasure he was giving you. Your body was still sensitive from  your orgasm just moments ago, you felt like you could burst at any moment. But Toji didn’t stop, he kept blowing air onto your clit, fucking you with his tongue and biting the soft skin around your mound. He reached up to grab hold of one of your breasts, squeezing and pinching as he himself ground into the carpet he laid upon. Your moans and your taste were his jet fuel, and he was getting off to every second of it. You watched his ass flex as he repeated his movements, drawing circles into the carpet with his cock. The sight of him desperately humping nothing sent you over the edge, screaming as you pulled at his hair, your thighs closing around his head.
“TojiohmygodI’mcummingfuck!” Your words came out a sloppy mess, unable to do anything but praise him for being so good to you. He continued to place kisses on your inner thighs until you were done riding out your high, your body finally falling back to the floor. 
“Feel okay?” He asked calmly, rising to his knees as your body occasionally twitched in your post-orgasmic euphoria. He ran his hands up and down your torso, gently massaging once he got down to your pelvic bones, working out the knots and work you had just put in to getting off on his face. He knelt down to kiss you deeply, tenderly this time, inhaling your scent and running his hand over your head.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. His eyes searching for answers in yours, “I’m sorry,” he uttered, digging his forehead into the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry I tried to run away, you don’t deserve that.”
“Toji… I- I love you.” He kissed your forehead, his hand hitching themselves underneath your thighs, watching your eyebrows furrow together while he inched your knees up slowly.
“This comfortable?” He asked you for reassurance again and you nodded, and he pushed a little further, until your knees nearly touched your shoulders, you winced a little at the stretch of it, inhaling and exhaling deeply as he waited for you to adjust. When you open your eyes he’s looking down at you, kissing the insides of your calves and massaging them. 
“It hurts a little?” He asks again gently and you nod. He chuckles quietly as he leans down to kiss you, you inhale sharply as he puts pressure on your legs, stretching your hamstrings even more than intended.
“If I’m gonna put a baby in you, this is the best way, princess.” 
His words ran straight to your core, and you nodded frantically, feeling like a teenager having sex for the first time. So eager to feel him. This time with Toji felt different, call it- fucking with intention. Both of you felt the thickness of the air, you knew how much this meant. He placed a chaste kiss to your lips before whispering against them, “Let me know if you need me to stop.” 
Your eyes nearly crossed at the suggestion of him fucking you so hard you’d need to call it in, you just wanted to feel him already, “Mhm… Toji, please.”
His head dropped to your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck, gripping him tighter when you felt his tip prop itself at your entrance. He laid his body flat against yours, you screamed at the burning in your legs, folded back against you with the weight of his body, but you wanted more. His arms caged your head in on either side and that was when you felt it. Toji watched the way your face contorted, your mouth dropping and eyes squeezing shut as he filled you at an angle he never had.
“Fuuuck,” he exhaled, inching his length into you further and further. He felt you claw at his back, skin sticking under your fingernails as you groaned with him, two animals fucking to conceive. The most primitive state of the human, fucking to reproduce, to bear offspring, to grow a family. 
“Toji-”
“Yes, princess,” he cut you off, “Oh fuck,” he gasped, bottoming out inside you, before hoisting your waist up to his and slinging your legs over his shoulders.
“T-Toji I’m so full!” You whined, grabbing onto his thighs folded on the floor as he knelt before you, buried deep in your cunt. 
“I know, baby, I know… be good and let me put a baby in you, okay?” He asked, placing kisses to your calves once again. You panted, nodding up at him while he made his first move. You groaned as he pulled himself out, before splitting you back open and bottoming out once again, “Fuck Toji, I need-” 
You felt it snap inside you again, whatever it was that made you feral, foaming at the mouth for the feeling of him inside you. “Toji I need you to fuck me…” You ground your hips into his, grasping at anything to give you leverage on his length. He looked down at you wearily, always so delicate, so fragile, “I don’t know if I should-”
“Fuck, Toji! Stop treating me like I’m glass and fuck me!” His eyes grew dark at your words, but still a glint of remorse held him back. You smacked at his chest, then looked down to remember that he was balls deep inside you, he seemed to remember at the same time because his stare turned wicked, “Look at me, Toji... I need you to fuck me baby.” 
You felt him begin to pick up his pace, slowly but surely rutting into you, fucking you deeper and deeper with every thrust. “F-uck, Toji!” Your mouth dropped as you watched a string of spit leave his mouth and drip on to where his cock and your cunt met, you gasped for air when he reached down to spread it around, lubing you up and preparing to go deeper, “T-oji, TojiTojiTojiii, please baby.”
“Yes, pretty girl. Fuck yes.” He gritted through his teeth, groaning at the way your tits bounced with every thrust, he reached out and cupped one in his hand, “Fuck, your tits are gonna be so full in a few months…” Your eyes rolled back at the way he groped it, playing with your nipple. Then your eyes fell to where you two connected and his gaze followed, the two of you watching Toji reappear and disappear inside of you, your wetness covering his cock, and his arousal being shoveled deeper and deeper inside of you.
You squealed as he thrusted harder, laying on top of you and rutting down into your heat. “Go ahead and touch yourself for me,” Toji instructed, and so you did. And a familiar feeling began to bubble up in your stomach, and for the third time that night Toji would ruin you. 
“Toji, please oh fuck-” He brought a hand up to your sweaty forehead, blowing air on it to cool you down, he then took your hand and placed it on your stomach, smirking as your eyes widened at what you felt.
“Feel that? Feel me inside of you?” He whispered, kissing you swiftly, feeling himself come close. You were a mess of moans and whines and you couldn’t even begin to explain the things that Toji was making you feel.
“Y-yes… yesyesyesdaddyIfeelit!” You cried as you circled your clit faster and pulled him closer, “Fuck yes! Right there baby, fuck me right there!” 
Toji growled, his hands now clawing at your thighs, the picture of two animals fucking wildly. Something sent him tipping past sanity as he pushed your legs all the way back, your ass up in the air as he thrusted down into you.
“Call me that again…” He seethed, grinning cynically at the way your eyes glazed over, his hand wrapped itself around your throat, enough to let you breathe. The sensation was overbearing, you started writhing underneath him, squirming and twitching while he kept his pace.
“F-uck,” you choked out, cracking what smile you could with Toji’s hand restricting you, “I want you to fill me up, Daddy.” Toji saw red, and blue, and every color that you helped him see in the past two years, and he fucked them all back into you. He kissed you with tenacity, lips tangled with lips and limbs tangled with limbs.
“I’m close,” he seethed.
“Me too,” you whispered.
“Boy or girl, tell me and I’ll fill you,” he whispered against your lips, saliva, snot and sweat mixing as you two breathed heavily into each other's mouths. Toji’s neck turned red the longer he held in his orgasm, the veins of his arms popping as he held you tightly, maneuvering you so you were in the perfect position to receive him. 
“I told you I don’t care,” you whispered back, feeling yourself close to the brink, tears forming in your eyes, “I told you I d-don’t care as long as I raise them with you.”
He smiled, “Pick a wild card.”
You smiled back.
“Girl,” you whispered. With your arms holding him closely against you, Toji began to writhe, his abdomen jerking in and out as he tried to control the strength of his orgasm.
“Fuck!” He screamed, fucking his seed into you, filling you up with himself. You pulled his face to yours and kissed him tenderly while you felt yourself clench around his length, milking him and riding out another orgasm of your own. 
“Yes,Toji! Yesyesyes!” You wrapped your legs around his torso and held him there, feeling his body twitch as he continued to shoot loads of himself into you. Your body shook as you took everything he had to give you, placing your hands atop his as he held your legs back, the two of you watching him push every drop that fell out back in. 
To think that you and Toji would end up here, there was a time when he was nothing but a fuck buddy to you, and you to him, now you desired something so intimate, so binding to his being. You couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly in his arms, and with that he looked down at you, smiling. Toji admittedly never smiled a lot before he met you, but as he looked down at you, he couldn’t be happier to smile in your presence. 
“Do you think we… got it?” You asked him, out of breath.
He raised his eyebrows, “You would doubt my work?” You smacked his chest and pushed him off of you, attempting to stand up but finding yourself weak in the knees. Toji approached you from behind and lifted you up slowly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him.
“I think we should try the bed out next,” he whispered, “See if it’s still any good?” 
You looked up at him in disbelief, “You want to do that again?” 
“You don’t?” He smirked.
“Well I-” You thought for a second while you melted into his hold, “I don’t not want to do that again.” He emitted a dark sound, while kissing the top of your head, and leading you step by step over to the old mattress. 
“Remember the first time we had sex here? I think I tied you to the headboard,” he suggested casually. Your hands tensed around his before you spun yourself around to face him, wanting to smack him, grin and all. He pushed himself into you and grabbed handfuls of your ass, lifting you up into him and taking in the sight.
“For old times sake, princess,” he persisted. Your tongue pushed at the inside of your cheek as you considered the idea. You supposed mother’s had to have fun too.
“...Just this once, asshole.”
“God, I love it when you call me that.”
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wynnyfryd · 6 months
Text
Trailer park Steve AU part 59
part 1 | part 58 | ao3
cw: canon-typical horror/gore (like for real this time), emetophobia, reference to minor character death. ty to @thisapplepielife for indulging my weirdly specific research about headstones
Steve tries to follow her — gets shot down before he even gets within speaking range, Max shouting at him to give her a minute the second she spots him coming over the hill. He backs off, hands raised in surrender, and then…
Well, then he’s already out of the car.
Well then his feet know where to take him.
His dad’s grave isn’t far. Maybe a football field away, close enough that he’ll be able to hear it if Max calls for help. He moves toward it without thought, his legs carrying him past simple overgrown markers in the oldest part of the park — crumbling remnants of civil war soldiers, farmers and shopkeepers and factory workers, people who worked the mines, people who died before his grandfather was born. People who might have been loved once, before time and moss and water stripped their names off of the stones.
Up the next slope, the markers get more elaborate, shift from bronze to granite to marble, to monuments and mausoleums and a fucking obelisk; ostentatious displays of the town’s oldest money. The coal barons, the oil tycoons. Rotten bastards, Wayne might say.
The Harringtons aren't that rich. They're further down the hill in a neatly manicured row of Indiana limestone; fresh flowers on each grave, the weeds plucked, the grass trimmed.
Dad's buried right next to Grandpa Otis.
It almost looks nice.
Crisp, clean, dry. Nothing to suggest the messy wet red of his father's demise. Steve shoves his hands in his front pockets and steps up to his dad's plot, toes the edge of it, the rounded lump of earth, sparse grass and loose soil where his father's bones are laid. The ground gives a little under his weight, the dirt compacting. Could he dig this up with just his hands? Could he claw through until he reached the bottom, pry open the box and peer inside? Unbidden, the image forms in his mind: worm food and rot, half a man left inside, somehow still frowning in disappointment with his jaw bone shining clean.
Steve's stomach turns. A sick shiver runs through him, saliva flooding his mouth, sweat beading at his hair line.
This isn't right.
Something's not right.
There's a sudden chill in the air, frigid wind carrying a smell like roadkill in the summer — heat wafting from the pavement, death clogging up his throat. Steve covers his nose and wills his shoulders down from his ears; tries to mutter words of comfort to himself under his breath. “Just a graveyard, Steve. Just a totally… normal…”
Ice on the back of his neck. Steve tenses every muscle, turns his good ear toward the sound of whatever's creeping up on him; something taller than him, something slithering and wet, its rasping rattles of frozen breath sending goosebumps down Steve's arms. His hands twitch inside his pockets.
Then, a voice — a voice that isn’t his, that can’t be anyone’s, because the man it belonged to is dead. “That Munson boy was right about you."
Steve can't fucking breathe. Dark clouds roll in around him, violent as a blooming bruise, and that voice behind him echoes — distorted, vicious; hungry.
"You are a black hole."
Steve grabs two fistfuls of his own hair and tugs; wills the pain to dispel the nightmare, his eyes swimming from the sting.
The thing behind him laughs. "Look how you ruined your mother," it snarls. "Look how you tore her apart.”
"Shut up!" Steve barks with his hands over his ears.
“Steve…” The voice deepens, beckons, thick with malice and rot. Steve slowly turns to face it, trembling all over, pulse thudding in his ears, and his shoes squelch in the dirt, and when he looks down he sees that the dirt has turned to mud that now turns to oozing red, a viscous river beneath his feet, flowing up over his ankles, pouring from his father's grave. And there, in front of him, a mangled remnant stands. The ruined corpse of Richard Harrington, his skin shriveled and gray, the torn parts of him held together by his clothes. There’s a hole in his torso where the exposed ribs glint like knives.
Steve throws up on himself.
The ground gives way beneath him, goes spongy like rotting meat, and the thing wearing his dad's face cackles as Steve sinks into the earth, the grave swallowing him whole, up to his calves, his knees, his thighs. "Join me," it offers, lipless smile full of teeth.
The glamor peels back to reveal a monster underneath, its scarred skin crawling in mucus-coated vines; naked, long-limbed, stitched together with burnt flesh.
Steve screams as he scrambles for purchase, up to his hips now in the muck, his feet on the lid of his dad's casket. He claws blindly at the loose ground but it’s all thick and wet with red, and the air itself is red; blood in the sky, in his eyes, in his lungs. He's going to die here. The voice tells him so. It's in his head now, a bellowing echo as the monster draws near, one hideous hand outstretched, an all-consuming join me, join me, JOIN ME—
“HEY!!!”
Max shouts directly in his face, shaking him hard by both shoulders where they're crouched on the cool ground, Kate Bush leaking from the headphones slung around her neck. Steve gives a startled shout and jerks back out of her grip, falling hard on his ass, landing harder on his elbows.
The world shifts back to blue. To dry, clean grass. To breathable air.
Steve pants up at the sky. His shirt clings to him where he's soaked it through with sweat. When Max offers him a hand, he stands on shaky legs, looks at the ground beneath his feet and screams again, scurrying back until his ass hits a stranger's headstone.
There’s a dent in the earth where he was standing. A smudge of packed dirt where he really did sink in. Steve stares at it; feels it reaching out for him, the dark patch thudding like a heart beat, spreading out like snaking vines.
He clutches at his heaving chest. Max’s eyes are huge on him.
"Okay, what the fuck?" she begs.
"What the fuck yourself!"
No heat behind the words, but they burn him, anyway, pushed out on a weak gasp. Is this what she was talking about? Is this what she calls nothing?
This doesn't feel like fucking nothing.
“Shit," she says, and her eyes go even wider. Steve can see the veins in them. "Shit, Steve, your nose…”
He swipes his arm across his face.
It comes back red.
part 60
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